#and what if my parents splitting becomes the new norm for me and i can manage it and dont break down every second day

[straykats]

sometimes i entertain the thought of like. everything ending up okay and then i get even more scared and anxious and idk why

[and-then-there-were-n0ne]

New research shows that Gen Z are more risk-averse than previous generations. Apparently we perceive more dangers in life, are more likely to see situations as “black and white”, and see spaces as either safe or dangerous.

Of course this isn’t surprising. I get tired of the whole snowflake trope being tacked onto everyone in Gen Z, but it’s also difficult to deny that we’re generally much more fearful than previous generations. Much of the attention on this goes to those calling for trigger warnings and safe spaces—which I’d say are an important but very vocal minority—but what’s actually endemic, something I see constantly among my generation, is a subtler form of safetyism, a reluctance to take risks in our everyday lives. Being terrified to talk on the phone. Being scared to order in a restaurant. And somewhere I think it’s really starting to affect us is being risk-averse about relationships.

Gen Z are dating less. Having less sex. Settling for situationships that are empty and meaningless. And I think a major part of this is that human connection comes with a high level of risk. Among young men, for example, I’d say this risk-aversion is most obvious in fear of rejection. A recent survey found that almost 45% of men aged 18 to 25 have never approached a woman in person. Another Pew Survey found that half of single men between 18 and 30 are voluntarily single, which some suggest is in part because of fear.

But I think young women are also risk-averse about relationships. We are naturally more risk-averse, for a start, and an even higher number of women are voluntarily single. But our risk-aversion plays out differently. Most obvious to me is the way we talk about relationships, the advice young women give each other, the therapy-speak and feminist clichés that I think often cloak a deep fear of hurt and vulnerability.

Honestly, this kind of thing is everywhere. Social media is full of young women warning each other and listing out red flags and reasons why you should dump him or dodge commitment. He compliments you a lot? Love-bombing. Says I miss you too soon? Run. Approaches you in person? Predator. It’s all so cynical. It’s all about how not to catch feelings; ways not to get attached; how “you’re not gonna get hurt if you have another man waiting”! We blunt romance and passion with this constant calculation of risk, this paranoid scanning for threats, and by holding back to avoid being hurt. We encourage each other to be emotionally absent, unfazed, uncaring. We even call it empowerment! It’s not. It’s neuroticism. I think we are a generation absolutely terrified of getting hurt and doing all we can to avoid it. [...]

Then, of course, there’s social media, dating apps—these mechanical ways we meet and find love. Fake spaces where we can avoid any form of discomfort. Where we swipe through people like products instead of approaching them with a pounding heart; where we ghost and block instead of learning how to have difficult conversations; where we start relationships without real risk, without intense chemistry, with no feeling at all. Now we get together not from passion or thrill but after analysing profiles, reviewing selfies, rehearsing DMs. It’s all so safe; it’s all so calculated.

My other suspicion is that this has to do with changing cultural and sexual mores. Family breakdown, for example. In the UK, a third of Gen Z now see their parents split by the time they are 16. Try not being risk-averse when those are your templates for love. Also, too, the sexual revolution, where the liberalising of sexual norms have made dating extremely confusing. Where casual sex has become the default, where we’ve lost the guardrails of custom and chivalry, and nobody wants to put themselves on the line. Sometimes it seems to me we’ve become so suspicious of each other’s intentions that we pathologise romance and commitment, and end up psychoanalysing to death behaviour that’s actually decent. Now we take everything that comes with real love—being affected by someone else’s emotions, putting your partner’s needs first, depending on them—and call it damage or anxious attachment or trauma. No! It’s called deep connection! And God, yes, wouldn’t it be much easier if it was a pathology, a disease, one we could diagnose and solve because it’s scary and it comes without guarantees. But it isn’t.

It’s tragic, all of this. Tragic because it’s putting us on a trajectory to miss out on what’s actually meaningful. There’s no love without vulnerability. There’s no life without fear. And you will no doubt derail romance if you are too risk-averse. I’ve written elsewhere about how I think this fear of discomfort is in part why young people are putting off major life decisions like marriage and having children. What’s interesting to me about all these #childfree TikToks everyone likes to dunk on isn’t that people don’t want kids—I don’t think everyone should—it’s that they often don’t want them out of fear. Like that TikToker who created “The List”—a crowdsourced list of reasons not to have children that’s been seen by millions—which includes every possible risk from swollen ankles to rashes to bloating to muscle cramps. Really? We’re willing to miss out on the richest and most beautiful moments of being human—what actually makes life worth living—because it comes with risk?

I could put a caveat here and say of course, be cautious of these relationships, be wary in these situations, etc, etc, but I won’t. Because that’s all we ever hear. So I’ll just say stop being so cautious. Stop overanalysing it. Don’t sit inside dwelling on what could go wrong. Don’t psychoanalyse everything to the point you deaden something real. You’ve been duped into thinking you can create a life without danger, one liberated from constraints and uncomfortable emotions, and that such a life is desirable. But you can’t, and it’s not. If you connect with someone and it comes with the risk of losing something, good. You’re alive!

Otherwise what’s the alternative? Some soulless life of safety and consumption? Purging your own life of meaning because things might possibly go wrong? Sitting safely inside staring at screens, watching simulations of strangers live their lives? And staying anxious and alone and never seeing that as the ultimate risk? Never seeing that maybe the most dangerous life is one that demands nothing of you?

Screw that! Take a chance! Trust someone! Fall in love! Feel something! Build something meaningful and scary and try your best not to blow it up. Because looking at how many of us feel anxious, depressed, hopeless, nihilistic, fragile and alone, the last thing this generation needs is to take less risks. The last thing we need is another reason to kill off connection. What we need is to create lives for ourselves that threaten us with their terrifying potential for pain and rejection and hurt. Because that’s living. It’s scary; it really is. But we should risk it.

[college-girl199328]

Census 2016: Fertility takes back seat to immigration in Canada’s growth

After Debbie Clarke’s first child had reached the “terrible twos,” she and her husband decided their family of three was big enough; adding a sibling would be just too much.

“At the time, I was working really late hours, and I just didn’t think it was fair to have another child when I didn’t really have the time and the energy to put into another child,” said Clarke of Mississauga, Ont., whose son Austin is now 15.

“When he was younger, it was very hectic because I had to work nights." My husband worked days. I thought to myself, "You know what?" "I have to do what I think I can handle physically, emotionally, and financially; I think one is good enough for me."

Clarke is among a growing proportion of Canadian women choosing to have only one child or none at all. And that trend towards limited childbearing is increasingly reflected in Canada’s average fertility rate, which the 2016 census figures released Wednesday have pegged at 1.6 percent, slightly higher than the 1.59 percent posted by Statistics Canada three years earlier.

One outlier? Nunavut is home to the highest fertility rates in Canada; women there give birth to 2.9 children on average, fueling the territory’s 12.7 percent growth rate, the highest in the country.

The fertility rate refers to the number of children a hypothetical woman would have in her reproductive life, based on females aged 15 to 49.

In Canada, that rate has been steadily falling over the last several decades: 1971 was the last year when the average number of children matched the 2.1 replacement level needed for the population to renew itself without being bolstered by immigration.

“The first thing to think about is that this is an average, so we still have a few families that have five or six children, and increasingly we have families that have none,” said Nora Spinks, CEO of the Vanier Institute of the Family, acknowledging that smaller families are progressively becoming the norm.

“One of the major reasons people are having fewer children is a combination of circumstances and biology,” she said. More women are choosing to start a family later in life compared to earlier generations. In the 1960s, for instance, the average age for a first birth was about 22.

Today, that age has been pushed to 30 and beyond. "So that’s where the biology comes in." The cost of child-rearing--from daycare to school-based activities to socking away dollars for post-secondary education--is another critical element that often dictates the family size, said sociologist and social demographer Susan McDaniel, a Canada research chair in global population and life course at the University of Lethbridge.

“Children cost a lot, and that’s in terms of money, but also in terms of opportunity costs,” she said, referring to women’s participation in the workforce, including those building or maintaining a career, as well as time invested ferrying kids to and from such extra-curricular as hockey practice and ballet lessons.

“They realize that the opportunity costs of having a lot of children are greater than the benefits of having one or two." But they’re also increasingly great for fathers, who are more and more involved with raising kids.

Still, McDaniel believes the trend toward smaller families is beneficial in some ways because having fewer children allows parents to devote more time and attention to individual children than they could with a larger brood.

That’s been the case for Marissa Monticciolo-Caserta, who had initially hoped to have two or three kids. But when she and her husband split up almost five years ago, she decided her son Nicholas would be her only child.

"I didn’t feel that it would be fair to my son because he spends time 50-50 with me and with his father," the Mississauga graphic designer said of her seven-year-old. "He does have a good relationship with both of us, and I felt that if I did have any other children, it might cause issues for him."

Monticciolo-Caserta, who is in a new relationship, thought having another child would be selfish. "We live together, and he has two children, so my son has an older stepbrother and a younger stepsister."

According to Spinks, Canada is not alone in its move toward smaller family sizes. "Fertility rates around the globe are dropping, even in cultures where typically women have seven, eight, or more children," she said. "We’re now seeing those women having three or four."

While the U.S. is also experiencing a bit of a baby bust, our southern neighbor's estimated 1.88 fertility rate continues to surpass Canada’s average.

"The U.S. has the highest birth rate in the industrialized world," said McDaniel. "Their patterns of having children are different than ours." She said Americans overall form unions marriages in life and have children at a younger age. They also have a higher teen birth rate, and a significant proportion of the population belongs to fundamentalist religious groups, which tend to encourage larger families.

What’s puzzling to social demographers is how U.S. couples on average manage to have larger families, given that they have far less support in the form of such benefits as paid parental leave.

The answer, McDaniel posited, is that there are almost 20 million undocumented immigrants, mostly Hispanic, hidden within households that provide domestic services and child care for “very limited money.”

"It’s a kind of built-in nanny system if you like, and that might contribute to it... "How this is going to work out in the future with (Donald) Trump, I don’t know," she said, pointing to the U.S. president’s vow to crack down on illegal immigrants.

As for Canada, immigration has been the lifeblood of population growth since 1999. According to Statistics Canada, about two-thirds of the current expansion is driven by the arrival of new Canadians, while natural increases make up the remaining third.

Based on a medium-growth scenario, immigration could account for more than 80 percent of the country’s population increase beginning in 2031, the agency says. Without a sustained level of immigration, it says Canada’s growth rate could be close to zero in 20 years as the population ages and projected fertility rates lag replacement levels.

[alien-ally]

Koisenu Futari

Finished watching koisenu futari. The moment I saw it on tumblr I knew I had to watch it and to no one's surprise it has been life-changing. Representation wise and story wise it just kept getting better all the way. I had a smile on my face throughout, while different emotions flickered in my eyes.

Within 4 hours, they tackled so many of the jabs aro/ace and loveless people get, it got sort of overwhelming. And the fact that they did it without being insensitive towards any of the downplayed identities. Without using the ‘we can still feel xxx love' or 'we can still form xxx relationships’ to validate aspecs. Cause no matter where you lie on the ace/aro/apl spectrums, you shouldn't have to be redeemed. The variety of interpersonal relationships portrayed was just chef’s kiss. The entire scene of Sakuko in the aspec club. How one pair of people only called each other when they needed help and still referred to each other as family. Seeing that made me incredibly happy, as an aplatonic that desires some form of a comradeship. Reminded me once again that it’s okay to work out something out of the norm, as long as it’s comfortable for me and those involved.

Personally, as someone with zero allies in real life, I've depended solely on myself for reassurance. So it gets exhausting. Terribly so. Figuring out that you greatly differ from the majority at a young age and battling the perpetual estrangement that follows. Realizing that apart from my family and a few friends no one might ever get to see certain sides of me. Only to get heart broken by my parents who may never truly understand me. For all the times I felt hopeless, every night I spend scrolling through tumblr and aven forums unable to fall asleep. All the instances I thought of coming out to my brother and parents, except dint because I was waiting to reach an age at which my words would hold more credibility. Dealing with the incessant triggers strewn around carelessly. For every single time I felt compelled to justify my experiences and orientations, my right to know myself, when my touch-aversion and lovelessness felt like a disability. The sheer horror and befuddlement that crept up to me while watching the news, finding out about the monstrosities that happened to young girls , children and women. None of it comes from trauma, but without me knowing, at some point, being this way became my trauma. All of it has been portrayed awesomely by this show. It reminded me that although it may seem that way for now, I'm not alone and will eventually find more people like me.

I enjoyed all the characters in the story cause despite their initial bad responses towards their beliefs getting challenged, they were willing to learn. Willing to accept even if they dint necessarily understand. Some even eager to learn more (spoiler: Kazu). But most importantly watching this made of realize just how many tropes could come up if we experimented with aroace characters. We only get crumbs of representation but just IMAGINE the countless plotlines and relationship dynamics we could come up with for aspec characters!!! Including the fake dating trope, lovers to realizing you're aspec to becoming allies trope and so much more. There is so much waiting to be explored. I'm tired of watching people marvelling about love. Now can we please explore lovelessness? I tell you IT'S JUST AS EXTENSIVE as the mighty love itself.

This is probably my hundredth time editing this post. I just can’t finish expressing what I feel about this. Each time feels as though I’m missing out on something. The ending was the most best and perfect ending to ever exist. In the end, home is just somewhere you can return to, someone you can split chores with, someone that motivates you to try out intense recipes (cause when you get to share the food you make is when you reach true content of a successful recipe), someone to help you with your vegetable garden and house maintenance. Someone you can go shopping with. It’s literally anything you want it to be. A family (subject to change) is what you want it to be.

The many times the words aromantic and asexual was shown on screen was simply immaculate. Each and every word uttered by Takahashi deserves a separate frame. From his dream of building a vegetable kingdom to his eccentric udon making tactics. Plus yes, his love for crabs. Can't miss out on that. Sakuko's amiability, love for long coats and Kazu's neverending absorptivity topped off by Maya's affection for pandas.

I give this show an absolute 10/10. Someone is saying we should replace 'sending love' with 'sending cabbages' among aroaces omg that sounds amazing.😭 Underrated vegetable cabbage supremacists please gather around immediately

Okay I'm finishing off, as for my last words: Yeah. People who can't fall in love exist. I'm one of them. But that's not the point. The point is

[smol-jinyoungie96]

The Devil Judge - Episode 8 (so many questions)

This episode has left me emotionally scarred and with far too many questions.

So many.

Something that made my heart hurt is that Kang Yohan didn’t take Ga On directly back to the car, he took him to an open space where he could let out all his pent up emotions and get it done and over with because once they go back and once the game actually starts, there won’t be any time for emotions.

“A system has no chance against power, power can control a system however it likes”

Meaning that, even though the system is established to keep the power even, ultimately the system itself can be manipulated by those in power in their favor and that is what Kang Yohan has seen all his life.

This time when Yohan opens up about his past, the reason why I think he might be telling the truth, or at least what’s relevant, is because of the pure hatred he had in his eyes when he spoke,

Minister Cha, who is the reason why Elijah is confined to the wheelchair, says “I thought so much of my poor boy, who I’d never said a kind word to”

She worries for her son, which as a mother, obviously makes sense. But she didn’t think twice before crushing a little girl to make it out alive and never even bothers to check up on her to see if she survived.

The President says “We share an experience. We know very well how you feel. Why wouldn’t we? We were in the same boat. In the same fire”

True they were in the same fire but they don’t share the same experience. They made it out alive while Kang Yohan lost his brother and left his niece crippled.

“The rest of us must continue his legacy, the property he donated”

They didn’t come to the hospital to mourn his loss with him. They were there to assure him that they would put the money to good use. Because the fear that he would cancel the donations was already there and then a second later, they go on talking about the weather being lovely for a picnic.

None of them were affected while Kang Yohan grew his hatred for them right there.

Kim Ga On’s attentiveness was really something in this episode. Even when he was freaking out about the swapped con artist he still noticed the small details,

1. interaction between the guard and Kang Yohan.

2. During the chant thing they did even though the shot makes it look like he was looking at Ga On, Bambi knows he was staring at someone behind him.

Initially it raises suspicion towards Kang Yohan to say if he changed the guy so he could break Ga On to a point where he has to rely on Yohan.

“To achieve his goal, would he not use another man’s pain”

Even through him being reduced to the point of essentially losing his mind, Kim Ga On still is wary of Yohan at the first half.

Jung Sun Ah becomes more and more devious and crazier every episode. In the last episode she says “we have Mr. Seo” indicating to the viewers that they can rely on him to get them out of the situation but when in reality,

It just meant that his part in her plan had already come to an end.

The public sees that guy as a well wisher for their country. If he dies and takes the blame for it, of course the public will sway.

But it also shows how the rich will wag their tail to whichever side has more of an advantage towards them.

But then Kang Yohan knows about the Public too. When Ga On suggests that they should release a statement denying the video and the allegations, Yohan cuts it off right there.

“This country shows generosity in death”

They will be made out to be the bad guys in the eyes of the public and it’s just instant game over.

The president’s speech during this episode was so similar to the one he gave in the first episode except this time, he is favoring Sun Ah because Kang Yohan isn’t on their side anymore.

Soo Hyun speaking facts!

“He took you there and presented it to you like a magic stick”

1. What is Kang Yohan’s intention?

2. Does Kang Yohan have ulterior motive behind taking Ga On there?

I saw a lot of people worried about Ga On saying “I’ll play along with Kang Yohan and find out more”

But there’s always two possibilities for this,

One being he will actually play along and dig for more information OR he only says it to her to keep her safe because knowingly or unknowingly, Ga On himself is in too deep in whatever plan Yohan has.

Jung Sun Ah showing up in Yohan’s office to flaunt her new position is also just a power play. It only to show him that she is in charge of the live show and that if needed, she is capable to putting the show on a leash.

Coming to Miss Oh Jin Joo

“I’m a judge in this country and a member of this live court show. If you’re going to do things like this hold the trial yourself”

Versus

“If you include me in the live court show, it would be my honor to just to be able to sit next to you”

What she started with and where she is now. Jin Joo and Ga On both started as naive associate judges but now they’ve both clearly grown into something more. The two of them are falling into two different notions of Justice.

But Kang Yohan sees too clearly through Oh Jin Joo’s change. He acknowledges her becoming ambitious as a judge and he most definitely knows where the change came from.

Little Ga On going “you are cutting off people right next to you” does he still not realize that Kang Yohan only has eyes on him?

Kang Yohan already succeeded in splitting up Minister Cha from her group of elites and even she is a little smarter than people give her credit for. She is on to Sun Ah and soon enough Yohan is going to have her where he exactly wants her.

Kang Yohan and Kim Ga On

Yohan is smart. He kept trying to give as little information to Ga On as he could because even though he broke Ga On, Bambi still didn’t choose a side.

Which brings me to the question that appeared in my head the most,

Why is Ga On so important to Yohan?

“Do you have to go this far?”t

“Whether we like it or not, I can’t let him stand behind my back”

“I need to have him on my side or to get rid of him”

Why is Ga On such a big risk factor to him? I understand that Ga On knows too much about Yohan and his plans now for Yohan to let him loose but why is it so important to him to have Bambi on his side?

Ga On saying “it’s my silly imagination” i really don’t think he’s talking about his “theory”. It felt more like a hint towards his broken trust on the law and justice.

Min Jung Ho saying “once a monster is unleashed, it doesn’t know when to stop”

Could it be foreshadowing? Because Ga On is clearly very close to losing it by the middle of the episode and he is still insisting on putting Ga On at a crossfire about betraying Yohan (though at this point I really don’t think it will end well for Ga On is he betrays Yohan)

Kang Yohan taking Ga On to meet his team essentially reveals that he did rig the cases in a certain way but the trials were genuine, which, to a person like Ga On, is more of a battle of morals.

Was it right to punish them by rigging it?

I think this is going to end with Oh Jin Joo and Jung Sun Ah vs. kang Yohan and Kim Ga On.

Kang Yohan and Jung Sun Ah are taking the two associate judges under their wing, both by emotional manipulation with two different intentions.

Sun Ah saying “someone needs to keep their eyes wide open” very similar to what Min Jung Ho said to Ga On in the very beginning.

Again,

WHY IS KIM GA ON SO IMPORTANT TO YOHAN?

“If I needed to, I would have done something even worse, whether it was switching him or something else. That is my method. It is not going to change in the future”

Felt more like a warning to Ga On for me. Once he’s on Yohan’s side there’s no getting out of it.

Lastly, Ga On talking with Min Jung Ho. This part was so interesting!

At first Ga On did everything his mentor asked him for and now he directly fires questions right back and he is finally blaming the authorities for not doing their jobs right.

Something that highlighted for me was Ga On saying “you should have done better” not “we”

He says it in past tense. He’s already given up on being faithful to the norms of justice.

Yohan knew that Ga On was going to meet Min Jung Ho, he picked him right away and!

Kim Ga On started with Min Jung Ho and this shot somehow made me think that they’re showing how,

he’s breaking away from Min Jung Ho,

to team up with Yohan.

Bambi chose his side.

But Ga On is not all about the revenge. Yet.

It felt like a deal between the two of them. Yohan helps him find out the truth about his parents and in return, Ga On stays with him.

There are still things that Ga On doesn’t know about Yohan but now that Yohan successfully broke him and took him under his wing, Ga On wouldn’t be able to leave even if he wanted to.

May be that’s why he is such a big risk factor. Ga On knows too much for Yohan to lose him now.

Every episode kills me more and more 😭

I can’t wait for the next episode!

But hey! Look at these two shots!

[princeanxious]

Okay stupid tumblr didnt tell me you said yes but HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS :DDD

When did they become vanpires

How old are they

What year were the vampires born

How long has V been locked away, what has he missed

Does V immediately latch onto the grunge/emo aesthetic because it matches the whole vampire theme

Is Roman a himbo™

What is the twins relationship like

Anxciet is the main pairing, are there any side pairings?

How does Janus react to the whole "oh yeah vampires are real" thing

Were any of the vamps around for any big historical events

Were any of the vamps big historical figures

Do they end up going to highschool/uni with the humans

What does everyone look like

Do any of them have really strong opinions about something useless (eg. pineapple on pizza, a certain colour, double denim, etc)

:)

Virgil became a Vampire sometime in the 17/1800s?? Logan is from around the 1500s, and Patton claims he lost count a long time ago.(Patton’s probably at least at least a thousand years old though? But he looks more like a young 25 y/o whose attire choices change day to day but generally always gives off that Parent vibe), Virgil was turned by Patton, Logan was born Vampire, Patton was assumably born vampire. Remus and Roman are 27, Janus is 25.

Virgil was locked away for about 150 years, give or take? He missed the entire shift in society and the human experience, from how relationships are viewed/treated to longer lifespans, to cleaner hygiene, convenience, and technology, hell, even the more open existance of the lgbtqa+ community! A /lot/ has happened in the past 100 years, and now Virgil has alot of catchup to do.(and don’t worry, Patton & Logan help Virgil catch up pretty quickly, they share flashcards and Virgil gets h o o k e d on social media when he gets a phone)

He absolutely does. Its a weird adjustment, what with the now wildly varied different textiles and styles and change. Especially the lack of layers, he misses those. (And finds immense comfort in the jacket that Janus gifts him, as its big and oversized and feels oh so very soft and warm.) But no yeah, he gets his hair cut(it still grew for those years locked away, albiet still rather slowly from malnutrition) and rocks the fringe, even gets his hair dyed purple to match his eyes, all the grunge/punk/emo aesthetic! Some of his favorite new things are makeup, piercings, and so much black fabric to chose from!

You’ll be surprised to note, that Roman is sadly not a himboTM in this au, as Virgil has already taken over that roll 💜💜💜

Remus and Roman’s relationship? Honestly ride or die chaos, the kinds of siblings that play pranks on one another and insult eachother but god forbid some poor outsider steps in to try and say the same thing they said abt their sibling, that outsider will have regreted it. The kind if ‘The Only one allowed to call my brother a Bitch-Ass Idiot is ME’ kind of siblings? Look they grew up in a area filled with people who dont like things out of the norm and befriended the local bullied kid who is half-covered in snake scales and speaks with a lisp due to his split togue. Remus himself suffers from intrusive anxiety and Roman suffers from chronic(?) depression. They’re all a bit ride or die, through and through.

Anxceit is the main pairing, and while it’s not entirely set in stone, Logince and Intruality are probably the other two.

Technically its not a secret in their world?? Like magic is a thing in their workd, its just usually left out of humanities bloodline. Humans like Janus are pretty rare bc of that. Vampires are still p rare to meet but not unheard of.

Yes, the vampires were alive for many major historical events. No we are not going to talk abt any of them. Same goes w/ historical figures.

Yes! Infact, Roman and Logan share college/uni theatre classes together! Logans currently an astronomy major, Roman a theatre arts major(i think thats what its called?) Logan is a formidible lyrical rival and Roman finds himself constantly losing to his rival in the form of slam poetry, though every day Roman always gets a little closer to winning(Logan adores the challenge, and the passion Roman has to beat Logan at his own game is riviting to experience. Logan would def consider Roman a perfect companion, but would have never acted on it if virgil hadnt been rescued by said companions twin brother, thus gettig both trios heavily involved w/ each other.) Patton’s been alive so long that he doesn’t care too much for academia, and instead focuses on tactile learning, like pottery and woodworking. Remus himself is an arts major, known for making really hyper horror or grotesque creature sculptures/doll customization, so he kind of just laches onto this man who seems to be larger than life and is far from bothered by Remus’s ‘not safe for common convos’ way of talking and its nice not to have someone run away. (Honestly, the feeling is mutual between the two)

As for what everone looks like, I kinda just want to leave that up to interpretation? If I end up drawing any of them they’ll probably be reflective of the way that I usually draw the sides, just human or vampire-ified, and maybe have a trait or two tweaked specifically for the au? The only real thing standing out to me is that i might give Remus or Roman Albinism? Idk yet.

Uhhhh i’m sure they have alot? Logan hates modern mirrors, bc they are usually not made w/ a silver backing. Let me tell you the first time Logna passed his full blown reflection out of something he’d never been able to use before, its clear, consise, ans ge hates it bc he can now very easily stare into his own eyes clearly and question existance.

Patton, despite being the oldest ever, is still v afraid of soiders despite knowing they cant hurt him too horribly.

Virgil is under the strong opinion that memes are hilarious and hoodies are amazing.

[im-the-punk-who]

Can you explain how a slave revolt in the Bahamas could have changed the history of America?

HELLO ANON FROM LIKE FOUR MONTHS AGO! I kept meaning to go back to this and then uhhh forgetting to do that. (Also thank you for indulging me and sending this sort-of-directly-asked-for-question lmao)

So. Here’s a brief overview of how a successful slave revolt like in Black Sails could have changed the history of not just America, but the entire world. And quite, well - easily - had the circumstances in Black Sails presented themselves. 

First off, standard disclaimer that this is all conjecture based on my own research and knowledge of both history and Black Sails. It isn’t meant as a takedown of anyone else’s views, or the character’s actions. The strongest I would call this is a wishful critique of the choices the writers made to include the things they did in the way they were included, and the way those same writers chose to end the story they chose to tell. And maybe, a little bit, a frustration of how the inevitability of american history is used as a given in fandom to defend certain character’s actions - but it is not meant to invalidate the reasons behind those actions. Just to point out that those reasons were more emotionally than factually driven (Which is cool! And very real to the kinds of tragedies that play out in real life revolutions! Vive le realismé!)

Also quite obviously I’m not a professional in any way. I was eating soup from a can as I wrote this. I am now eating cookies for dinner. I am writing this because it’s fun for me. It’s fun!! If deep thought-experiment type analysis of media isn’t your cuppa, that’s fine - you can keep scrolling.

I’ve included major historical events from 1700-1740 since that is the general time period that Black Sails draws its history from. In particular, most of the later seasons’ historical references come from the 1730s. While I’ve tried to be as thorough as possible...there are so many ways history could have been changed by a tiny action that it would be impossible to cover them all. For brevity, I’m focusing on the history of the Bahamas, the Caribbean, and Colonial America. I’ll touch on other places as is relevant but like......it’s world history for a reason.

Okay, here goes.

So first and foremost, to understand how it’s destruction could have changed America, you really need to understand just how much economic power chattel slavery gave colonial empires and England in particular. 

Slavery was the most important economic force in Colonial England, and not just in what the slaves produced. The slave trade itself was the most lucrative business in existence at the time. If you want to learn more about that, I highly recommend listening to this podcast, which does an excellent job of explaining how the economic buying and selling and bonding of slaves was of such value to colonial empires. This is important because the most powerful contemporary argument for the continuation of slavery was that it “could not be ended in the Americas until there was certainty that it wouldn’t create social or economic irritation.” (Thomas Jefferson, 1783.)

(Slavery in itself is not something that was unique to the british empire or even the Imperialist governments that created it. Most cultures have had some form of slavery. However, this was not the type of generational slavery that colonial empires employed. In most cases before the 1400s, slaves were not kept slaves solely based on the color of their skin - they were war prisoners, criminals, or debtors. In most cases, slaves could work to buy their freedom, and most importantly, slavery was not an inherited state that passed from parent to child. 

What we think of in terms of colonial slavery is chattel slavery - which is the kind of slavery Europeans imposed on Africans starting in the fifteenth century. These slaves could not buy their freedom. They were viewed as property instead of human beings based on their race and their children were automatically enslaved in the same way they were. They were mistreated, and viewed as subhuman, without any chance of escaping the bonds which had been forced upon them.

Because of this new type of slavery that started in the colonial era, Europeans needed to justify why they were entitled to own other people as slaves. They needed to convince themselves and other people that there was some moral justification for chattel slavery. This is what led to all the myths of ‘happy’ servitude, racial inferiority, and any ‘benefits’ slavery imparted to slaves. These were all lies created by philosophical thinkers and plantation owners and politicians that let settlers convince themselves they were not committing crimes of immense magnitude against other human beings. For much of the colonial era, these were the norm in thinking and their vestiges still linger today. But these were used to justify slavery because of how important it was economically.

And of course there were always dissenters. Since slavery was first introduced to the colonies there were people who knew that this sort of treatment was just not very gucci. These people argued that slavery went against the very nature of a ‘just’ society. That benefitting off the mistreatment of other human beings was akin to spiritual robbery, and that “European colonies should be destroyed rather than create so many unfortunates!” (Louis Jaucourt, 1754). With your goddamn motherfucking chest Jaucourt. The Quakers of Pennsylvania were strong proponents of abolition since the 1670’s! James Oglethorpe(yes, that Oglethorpe) himself was a staunch abolitionist who went as far as to make slavery illegal in Georgia when he formed the colony in 1733.

The economic power of slavery was used as a justification to keep it intact for hundreds of years and many colonists were happy with this, but it’s important to remember that not everyone was. England and the colonists were far from unanimously in support of the practice. This becomes important later! Like, this is the basis for the whole argument of how a drawn out war in the Bahamas could have ended slavery and changed colonial imperialism.)

OKAY NOW THAT WE’VE GOT THAT COVERED. 

Now let’s go to the people it affected. Enslaved black people have been fighting against their enslavement since they were taken from their homes and brought across the Atlantic in the 15th century. Starting in the 1700s, slave revolts started to see more and more success in these efforts, until in the late 1700s and early 1800s public opinion of slavery finally dropped enough that it was outlawed in the colonial empires of England and France. In the years of 1700-1740, there were several rebellions in the North American area including:

1712 New York Slave Revolt (British Province of New York)

1730 Chesapeake rebellion (British Chesapeake Colonies)

1733 St. John Slave Revolt (Danish Saint John)

1739 Stono Rebellion ((British Province of South Carolina)

1741 New York Conspiracy (British Province of New York)

And of course, 

1728-1739 First Maroon War (British Jamaica)

This is the war which the war in Black Sails is based on. The treaty that was offered by Woodes Rogers in Black Sails is almost word for word(minus the pirates bit) the treaty offered to the Leeward Maroons in this war. There are references to the factions in this war and even some of the historical people involved in it. The major difference? The Maroon war was successful. The Maroons were so good at warfare on their turf that the British were unable to sustain any major victories against them. After ten years they offered the Maroons a treaty granting them governmental agency(although not independence). In return, the Maroons agreed to return any escaped slaves back to the British, and to help the British fight off “invaders”. The Leeward maroons led by Cudjoe(Julius, in Black Sails) took this offer to avoid more fighting because he believed in an honorable peace with the enemy. Queen Nanny and her Windward Maroons(The Maroon Queen and Madi in Black Sails) refused because like....bruh those terms suck. After a year she was pressured into relenting by Cudjoe, but within thirty years the Maroons had started another war, dissatisfied with how the treaty was being carried out. 

(This is Queen Nanny. And yes, she is better than you.)

I also need to mention that Africans were not the only ones in North America hurt by British Colonialism, nor the only ones for whom abolition and an end to colonial empire was attractive. The Native Americans were also a constant frustration to the colonies, and, because it’s relevant to later things, I want to mention one incident in particular: 

The Yamasee War (1715-1717)

The Yamasee were a Lower Creek tribe that lived in what is today Georgia/Florida. The war was fought over a bunch of different things, including trading systems and colonists depleting the game in the area, but also because of the colonists’ nasty habit of trying to enslave Native American people. Bummer. So a bunch of tribes(and I mean a bunch - there were Shawnee and Cherokee factions, as well as about half a dozen other distinct nations that joined in the fight in sort of that loose ‘hey you hate these guys? we hate these guys!’ way.)

 Long story short, this war was a pretty significant factor in the colonists in the South not enslaving(outright) Native Americans anymore, and instead increasing the import of African slaves to the south. After this war the Yamasee split into two factions, one anti-colonist and one pro-colonist. The pro-colonist people called themselves the Yamacraw, and it was these people who granted Oglethorpe(yes, that Oglethorpe) the land which he used to found Georgia. Moral of the story, alliances between abolitionists and indigenous tribes were already in place in the colonies. Just waiting for a chance to be used.

(Tomochichi, the leader of the Yamacraw and very cool accessorizor)

(Yet ANOTHER thing to keep in mind is that before the end of the 18th century, both Haiti and Grenada would see major revolutions against their colonial empires. Slaves in all provinces and colonies were continually fighting for their freedom. What they lacked was a unifying force that supplied them enough power and cohesion to fight the empire man-to-man, so to speak.)

SO. INTO THIS SCENE, ENTER JAMES FLINT - ANGRIEST OF MLM SCALLYWAGS AND TACTICIAN EXTRAORDINAIRE.

(So cute.)

Anyway, the Golden Age of Piracy was largely over by the early 1720 - most of the pirates of Nassau took Rogers’ pardon and reintegrated as citizens of society. That or they like....died. A lot of them died. Gruesomely. Nasty business, piratry. So, if we assume that in Black Sails’ history that Flint and Silver managed to convince the Maroons to rebel ten years earlier, join with the pirates who did not want to assimilate, and start a revolution; now instead of two separate wars Britain is now fighting one much bigger, nastier, more expensive one. 

Backed by people with a good deal of money at their disposal. Cha-ching.

Keep in mind that Britain had already been at war for almost thirty years with first the Glorious Revolution and the Jacobite risings(1688-forever) and the War of Spanish Succession(1701-1714). Their resources had already been depleted. And this was why the American colonies(and India) had become so important to them. Remember what I said about the economic importance of slavery? It’s because Brtitain was using the slave trade to refill its coffers after an extensive and costly military campaign. 

So now, this new war is not only putting an additional drain on the empire’s resources before Britain has had a chance to replenish itself but it is also taking away the very source of income needed to replenish itself. (Since the war would target places heavy with slave trading.) In addition, the pirates handed a significant defeat to the British Navy that ended with the Navy retreating - turning tail and running from the island. This was actually a huge victory and one that was sort of downplayed in the show but would be incredibly significant in the event of a long campaign.

Rogers is not taking Nassau with the full support of Britain. He is only fighting with the traitors who did not return when the Navy withdrew. That is why he has to go to Spain in the first place. 

The show has also told us that this rebellion is already starting to be widely known - pirates and slaves from Barbados, the Bahamas, as far as Massachusetts are coming to aid the rebellion in the hopes of freedom. This is not a small thing. 

Even with the loss of the Walrus and most of the Walrus crew, there are still thousands of fighters on the Maroon Island. Slaves, mainland pirates - the defeat of the Walrus was a personal defeat but in the grand scheme of a larger war it was a small loss in what was ultimately a huge victory. 

Rogers has been squarely defeated. Because of that, they now have Nassau as a base. The war now has two strongholds - one protected by the forest and one protected by a fort - into which they can store supplies, retreat, and organize attacks from. If they can free the rest of the slaves on the island of Nassau and either oust or convert the puritans, all the better. 

The war at the point Rogers is defeated was far from a never-ending thing. In fact I would say that Flint is absolutely right - they are incredibly close to a decisive victory. England cannot afford to muster a large enough force to defeat two entrenched enemies working together - especially ones as well financed as we’re led to believe the chest would make the Maroons and Pirates. Even if Britain could somehow convince Spain and/or France to join them, both of those nations have also been severely depleted by wars of their own. And again, the more nations that Britain brings in, the more potentially disaffected people could be brought in to join the pirates(see, Haiti and Grenada specifically, both of which were French colonies at the time, and the Spanish colonies of Cuba, Puerto Rico, etc). 

So from here, the smartest thing for the rebellion to do would be to hit large plantations: to both free the slaves and cripple Britain’s economy. Make slavery more costly to enforce than it is profitable to sustain, and build their numbers for the war as well, as well as like, you know, freeing slaves. Make it so that Britain could not sustain the cost of trying to fight it - as James said all the way back in 1705. Force a surrender on economic grounds.

So now, the power behind the empire has been broken. Even assuming a modest victory, the course of the entire world - not just the Americas - has changed. In victory, let’s say the Bahama/Caribbean islands are freed from British rule. Slavery in the americas will also never be able to get the foothold it does, historically. 

With a free nation actively willing to target slave plantations and ships sitting between it and Africa, the colonial slave trade is finished. Now sure, they could use the existing slaves, but it would be oh-so-easy for the Pirates and Maroons, alongside their hopeful new Native and abolitionist allies, to target large plantations and cripple them. 

If slavery never gets a foothold in the south, northern colonies never build the banks and mills and economic powerhouses that profit from the cheap produce, and most find another way to survive. Perhaps, if we’re going really all out, they start working with the native americans - learning ways to cultivate and grow crops with the land and in balance, rather than clearing thousands of acres for damaging cash crops. 

I want to be really, really clear about this because it is incredibly important. Without slavery, the British empire would not have bee able to sustain itself. It would not have the power. And the more it tried to tax the colonists to recoup its losses, the angrier those people were likely to get, and perhaps join the Maroons and Pirates, or perhaps evens start the american revolution early - maybe even with the help of the newly independent Jamaican/Bahaman island nations. 

This break in the power of colonial empires would shift world history into something unrecognizable as we know it. The empires would still exist, of course, but they would be set on their heels - France and Spain would see what happened to Britain and be less inclined to keep slavery legal in their own colonies. Power is split more evenly among the world, and indigenous and black/African nations are not wiped out in genocidal bids for power. 

Which brings me to India. If the Indian rebellions learned of what happened in America and the Bahamas, or if america had drained enough of britain’s resources that the British East India Trading Company was not able to be as controlling of the area, this could have meant independence centuries earlier, as well as a much easier path to independence. Think about what could have been if the Indian people had been able to oust a struggling empire from its shores an entire century before it historically did. 

(This bad boy is Mangal Pandey, who led the first major Indian revolution in the mid 1800s. In the movie adaptation his boyfriend best friend is played by Toby Stephens so I’m connecting the dots.)

Once the colonies of America and India are gone, Britain loses almost the entirety of its colonial power. (And this isn’t even including all the smaller colonies which could cloak their own independence in these big revolutions and the lack of (as much) of an indigenous genocide in many of these places. The economic disparity that defines Black experience in places that the British colonial system touched never gets a hold, and they are able to build their own economies in ways that benefit them and the places they live. 

Think about the wealth of culture in ALL nations that would not have been destroyed, had Britain not been allowed to swallow whole swaths of land whole. 

And, look. I know this is fiction. I know that of course, none of this happened, and that Black Sails is a fictional landscape. I know that so many things could go differently than I imagine them. I know that to extrapolate like this relies heavily on actually caring about a world that is completely different from ours and envisioning how that could come about. 

I also know, that it is just as important to tell these sorts of stories as telling stories about how small acts could have changed things immensely, as it is to tell them about how society must stay the same. It is just as important to tell stories about ‘what if colonialism were able to be stopped’ as it is to tell dystopian stories about the end of the world. It may not be as much fun, but it is important to remember that our power doesn’t lie an indiscernible amount of time in the future, after the world has already gone to shit. It lies with us, right now. And that even if it is hard to see, our actions have the power to shape history.

[chachkayes]

The Weight of Words

Look at me go - 2 fics in one day. You can thank @herrera-n-hayes​ here on Tumblr, and @/NotAnSvuFanPage over on twitter for the ideas for this fic. Clo and I were once again discussing fic ideas that just ended up really inspiring me to write. Between my conversations with her, and my friend on twitter at the same time, this fic came to fruition. We were all getting very emotional over the potential for a really sweet bond between Ellis Shepherd and Cormac Hayes, and Ellie calling Cormac “dad” for the first time, since she’d never experienced a stable father figure in her life before then. So this fic explores the development of the bond between Cormac and Ellis, him winning over Zola and Bailey, as well as Austin and Liam bonding with Bailey and Zola a little bit. It’s probably a lot more angsty than I originally intended, but that is almost inevitable at this point. Anyways, enjoy! 

Ellis Shepherd had grown up without a stable father figure in her life, much like her mother when she was younger. She’d gotten used to all the men coming into her life, and then one day, inexplicably leaving. It’d become her norm. Zola would tell her stories about Derek, her dad. She knew she should miss him, but she never knew him. So, there was always this little part of her that wanted a father in her life. She knew it made her mommy sad when she’d ask about her daddy, and when she was going to have a dad, so she never did. And though she was only 5 years old, she never thought she was going to have one. That all changed when Cormac Hayes showed up in her life.

He made her mom smile like she’d never seen. Right from the moment he introduced himself to her, Ellis knew she liked this guy, whoever he was. She was entranced by his fun accent, and she was glad that he always made sure to pay attention to her, Zola, and Bailey when he’d come over. That was a new feeling for all of the Grey-Shepherd children. Zola and Bailey were always a bit more on the hesitant side with the man their mother called “Hayes”. It wasn’t that they didn’t like him, they were just worried that he’d leave them one day too. They knew the feeling more deeply than Ellis could comprehend.

Cormac understood the children’s hesitations. He’d told them that he has kids too, and that they were feeling the same way, because they lost a parent too – the same way Zola, Bailey, and Ellis had. He made sure to explain to them that that their feelings, and the feelings of his own kids, about him and Meredith were all incredibly important to him, and that he wasn’t there to play with their emotions. He wanted to be there for them, just like Meredith would be there for his sons. That was when Ellis decided she loved him, and when Zola and Bailey happily accepted his presence in their lives.

Ellis got attached to Hayes incredibly quick. She always sat beside him when he came over for dinner - she enjoyed how he’d help her cut up her food for her. When he and her mom were watching movies on the couch, she climbed up in between them and snuggled in close to him, to which he always happily held her until she fell asleep. She loved that he let her sit on his shoulders sometimes, and it made her shriek and giggle like a maniac when he’d stand up. It always made her mom so happy to see, so she tried to do it as often as he’d let her, which was almost all the time. She liked seeing her mom happy. It didn’t take long before Cormac Hayes was wrapped around little Ellis’ finger. He adored all of his girlfriend’s young children, but he had a special little bond with Ellis. He’d never had a daughter, and even though he didn’t want to infringe on any boundaries, he wouldn’t deny that he enjoyed having Zola and Ellis in his life.

Zola got along quite quickly with Austin and Liam. Though they were teenage boys, and were sometimes moody, they developed a soft spot for Zola, and when they looked after the children, they engaged in whatever games Zola wanted to play during the day. Bailey loved having the older boys around to talk superheroes with. They often put on a Marvel movie to watch with him while the girls played, and they sometimes made popcorn to split among the three of them – but they’d wholly deny it if either of their parents ever asked. When they first told their friends at school that their dad was dating, they neglected to mention the three young children, until they decided that they liked having, what they considered to be, younger siblings.

Then, out of nowhere one day, it happened. “Dada, we’re home!” Ellis yelled to Cormac as she entered the house, not even realizing the weight of what she’d just called him. It’d slipped out of her mouth, like she’d been calling him ‘dada’ her entire life. Cormac’s head shot up to catch Meredith’s gaze the moment the words came out of her mouth. Meredith’s eyes were wide as she looked up and down between him and her daughter. Even though he hadn’t done anything, he felt bad. He gave Ellis a small hug as the young girl ran over to him on the couch. “I’m happy to see you, but Ellis, sweetie, I’m not your dad.” He said, looking at her sweetly, as he sat her on his knee. Meredith put her purse down and entered the living room, sitting down beside Cormac, her mind racing. She had many conflicting emotions surrounding the whole situation. As much as she wanted to say something, she let Cormac handle it.

“What do you mean?” Ellis said innocently. Both Meredith and Cormac’s hearts broke. “Your daddy is up in heaven, same with my boys’ mom, remember?” He told her gently. “I know… but I love you the same way my friends love their daddies. You do the same things with me that their daddies do with them, like make me breakfast, cut my food up, put me to bed, play with me…” She paused for a moment. “I never had anyone to make a Father’s Day card for at school, and I can’t answer anything when my teachers ask about my dad. Or at least, I couldn’t think of someone to talk about, until now.” Her little voice trailed off as she saw a tear roll down her mother’s face. “I’m sorry mommy…” She said sadly. Meredith’s whole viewpoint had changed as her daughter spoke about how much she loved Cormac. “Oh, sweet girl, don’t be sorry.” Meredith said, cupping her daughter’s face in her hands. “You deserve to have a dad in your life, who loves you just as much as mommy does, and as much as your dad does in heaven. You didn’t make mommy sad when you called Hayes ‘dada’ – it just took me off guard a little bit. I know you love your dad, even though you never knew him.” She finished, placing a small kiss on her daughter’s forehead.

Cormac hugged her as she sat completely still on his knee. “You are one of the sweetest little girls on earth. And you know that I love you like one of my own. But you know what I love even more?” He said as the young girl turned to look at him. “What?” She asked, a small smile forming on her face. “I love how much you love your mom and respect your dad.” He said, looking over at Meredith and then back at Ellis. “I would be honoured if you wanted to call me dada, but it’s all up to your mom, okay? I know she still loves and misses your daddy very much, same as your brother and sister. And I want to make sure that she’s okay with it first.” The moment Cormac said those sentences, Meredith decided that she was completely okay with it. “Mer, what do you think?” He said, looking up at her and smiling. She looked down at her daughter, who was looking back up at her with eager eyes. “Yeah. It’s okay with me.” She said, and Ellis erupted into the brightest smile. She hugged Cormac, and he hugged her back. “Now, what’s this I remember you saying the other day about some new toys you wanted to show me?” He said as he smiled at Ellis. She grabbed her shopping bag and lead him to the kitchen, where she promptly sat him down and began her ‘show and tell’ of new stuff.

Meredith sat back on the couch and watched quietly as Ellis showed Hayes every new thing she’d gotten - he smiled at her the entire time, and kept himself engaged in their conversation. She smiled to herself as she watched them interact. She loved how much they loved each other. As she watched, Meredith thought to herself about how she would have never been okay with her children calling anyone like Riggs, or DeLuca ‘dad’. But she knew that Hayes had such a deep love for her children, and respect for Derek, that it was okay to hear her daughter call him ‘dada’, because it was him. She knew that Cormac knew that he’d never be their actual dad, and he was okay with that. He was totally content with just being whatever they needed, to them - even being considered a father to little Ellis. He would never, ever, complain about having to step up to that role in her life. He loved her like she was his own daughter.

[angelguk]

→ easy, like sunday morning— a namjoon scenario [bb 03]

member: kim namjoon (rm)

word count: 3.9k

genre: parents!au + fluff 

warnings: nothing really explicit folks / nose kisses 4 miss ella / mild groping but there’s a baby in the room / oc is insecure about her body tho / namjoon’s just kinda h word 4 his wife / some dry humping / this is the dad!joon from all my drabbles

soundtrack: if you think it’s love, king princess

edited by the lovely @sangriaseok​ thank you! :)

You awake to the heat of the sun on your face. It’s a strange moment of tranquillity, eyes fuzzy as you crack them open to the melody of birds chirping outside your window. There’s a heat filling the stifling air in your room, courtesy of the traces of sunlight filtering through the curtains. Everything is tinged gold, the warmth of the world outside embracing your skin. It takes a moment for your mind to awaken, your senses noting the silence in the room, apart from the gentle fall and rise of Namjoon’s body behind you. It’s odd, to awaken to an absence of noise especially since Eunha had joined the world. You’d become accustomed to it; the incessant wailing and dirty diapers that were begging to be changed. The stillness makes your heart seize in your chest, panic flooding your body for a split second. But then you hear it, that familiar burbling that settles something deep inside your chest. Her breaths are easy, small soft sighs escaping her lips that you know are pursed together in a gentle pout. The fact that she’s still sleeping is a wonder to you. It’s a stark contrast to her restlessness that had kept everyone up last night. You can still see it, when you shut your eyes for a brief moment, the redness in Namjoon’s eyes as he’d rocked her to sleep. Maybe that’s why you’re all still cuddled in the warm embrace of slumber. Eunha had drained all your energy with her piercing wails.

You paw at your face as you roll away from Namjoon. There’s a magnificent wet patch on your back, a result of his warm body plastered against yours. But it’s nothing compared to the dampness spreading across your chest. You’d finished your nursing pads last night and hadn’t been able to rush out and purchase more. The leaking aspect of your newfound motherhood was starting to become inconvenient.  You cringe at the way your shirt clings to your skin. It’s Namjoon’s really, an earthy toned one that he favours, but technically everything Namjoon owned was yours too.

Maybe, if you’re quiet about it, you could rush out to the store and nab a few boxes before your family wakes up. That plan cancels itself when Eunha lets out a soft burble from across the room and your mind zeros in on her. There’s an immediate need to check on her bubbling inside you, the ache to hold your daughter in your arms almost overwhelming. It would make more sense to just change your shirt. You don’t have the heart to leave her now, not when she was bawling the whole of last night.

You rise, elbows digging into the plush mattress below you, intending on checking Eunha after you toss your wet shirt into the laundry hamper. But then there’s a firm arm wraps around your waist, gently tugging you back down.

“Don’t,” He mumbles into the hollow of your neck, voice raspy with sleep. He swings a leg defiantly over yours, effectively trapping you beneath the sweltering sheets, the thick muscles of his thigh weighing you down. You’re caught off-guard, surprised that Namjoon had been awake the whole time. He’d promptly collapsed into the bed last night, exhausted by his daughter’s keening. Plus he’d had to mark papers the whole day yesterday. He was strained, you knew that and sleep was desperately needed.  “You’ll wake her,” He mutters.

“I think she’s knocked out, love.” Your voice is a gentle murmur in the room. “Plus I need to check on her.”

Namjoon grunts at your reasoning, the arm on your waist slipping off and his leg falling back down the sheets between you. You glance back to look at him, amused by the way his eyebrows were furrowed together, revealing his frustration at his sleep being interrupted. His flaxen hair is a mess too, ruined by the running of his hands through the strands countless times last night. With a tenderness you feel in your heart you lean in, your thumb moving to rest on his forehead, massaging away the tension there. His face falls lax when your fingers meet his skin, a gentle groan floating from his parted lips. The sound that settles something in your chest, comforting in the slowness of this morning. You do it without thinking, the need to touch your husband driving your actions. He sighs the moment your lips meet his forehead. It’s a phantom of a kiss, a gentle peck between his eyebrows.

“Sleep,” you murmur, enamoured by the way your husband settles into the sheets. Almost childlike with the way he curls into himself. “I’ll take care of her.”

He doesn’t protest when you leave the bed, eyes fixed shut as you gingerly pad across the room. You rummage through Namjoon’s closet and pluck out a soft cotton shirt that you hope he doesn’t mind you ruining with your breast milk. The soiled one gets thrown in the laundry hamper, a problem for the afternoon when you finally start to wash up all the dirty clothes. You head over to Eunha’s crib next, gaze landing on her puffy face with content. The slow rise of her chest as the sun basks on her makes your heart swell. Her tiny feet twitch in the yellow onesie that Jimin had bought for her, chubby fingers clenched into fists, but she stays calm in the crib. Her eyes fluttering with the promise of dreams she’ll never remember.

There’s a lightness in your chest when you reach out a hand to brush at the tufts of dark hair creeping from her scalp. It takes your breath away sometimes, how much she resembles Namjoon. There’s those little dips in her cheeks, the pert full pink lips she inherited from her father and that cute little nose that you yearn to bop. You were a bit downcast when Eunha had been born and she’d turned out to be a carbon copy of Namjoon. But that had quickly changed. You loved that your daughter looked like him. If there’s any face that you could stare at for all of eternity, it was Namjoon’s.

You let Eunha rest because there’s no foul stench floating from her diaper and she seems relaxed in her sleep. Once you’ve cracked open the windows, allowing the morning breeze into your room, you turn to crawl back into bed with your husband. You were soothed by the presence of your family surrounding you.

Namjoon accepts you into bed with open arms, his eyes wide awake now and the crust of last nights interrupted sleep rubbed from his face.

“Morning,” He mumbles, when you burrow into his chest. You hum in response, eyes already steadily fluttering shut as sleep takes over you again. “She okay?”

“Out like a light,” You respond, the warmth of Namjoon’s arms envelop you as he shuffles you closer to his body sending a tingle down your spine. “You should sleep too.” Namjoon makes a noise of agreement deep in his throat, but when he settles you against his chest, your thigh neatly nestled against his crotch you know your husband is preoccupied with other thoughts.

“Really?” You mutter, tilting your head upward to glance at him. Namjoon stares at you innocently, a blush turning his sun-kissed skin rouge.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” There’s a slight lilt in his voice.

You press your thigh harder against his crotch, the little tremor that runs through his body igniting something in your own gut. His eyes fall shut, a small gasp tipping from his lips when you touch him there. It’s an oddly chaste action from him – unlike Namjoon entirely.

“Oh – stop. Don’t make it worse.” You giggle at the quiver in his voice, enjoying the way your husband shivers beneath you. But you don’t push him any further, afraid you’ll ignite a flame you can’t put out.

This was now a rare occurrence for the both of you, to be aroused so early in the day. Morning sex had been a norm when you’d first married, a part of your routine as newlyweds who could barely keep their hands off each other. But then Eunha was born at that routine had been shattered, replaced instead with the responsibilities of being parents. Your libido had vanished after her birth and Namjoon had respected your request for space as best as he could. There had been times when you’d fumbled together in the dark, slivers of time stolen to spend time with each other. But those moments rarely ended with the two of you entirely naked. There was a new insecurity holding you back from letting your husband have you the way you both yearn for. While Namjoon had remained firm and burly, a result of his frequent stops at the gym, you had positively ballooned from carrying Eunha, and hadn’t snapped back like you thought you would. It’s disgruntling sometimes, how unattractive you feel in your husband’s arms. The new wells on your stomach didn’t make you feel desirable. And while you breasts may have swelled, the thin scars and veins on your skin aren’t appealing to you either. 

There’s a hand snaking down your spine, halting to rest on the small of your back. He gently pulls you from the depths of your reverie, the feeling of his large palm firm against you, leaving a warm imprint on your skin making you buzz. Everything feels easy despite the worries that plague your mind. The way your bodies settle against it each other, hearts thrumming in your ribcages, as Eunha dreams across the room makes your heart tighten with joy. But Namjoon must be able to see inside your head, because he brushes a kiss against your forehead, concern colouring his gaze.

“What’s wrong?” He questions, breaking the silence between the two of you.

“Nothing. Just tired,” You reply, a bubble of irritation rising in your chest. You suddenly don’t want his hands on you. He hums, severe gaze on you as you roll away. “We should take Eunha to the park later,” You tack on, hoping Namjoon won’t read into your hesitation too much, “The weather seems nice.”

He hums in agreement nonchalantly. You can see the ticking in his head as he tries to figure out where he went wrong. You feel bad for pushing him away, but you’d rather not have Namjoon see you like this, particularly when you can’t bear to look at your own reflection in the mirror. But he knows you too well. He’d noticed this, how you shied away from his wandering hands or asked to keep the lights dim when you a moment away from Eunha’s demanding attention. Even now, when he reaches out to intertwine your hands, he notes the way your flinch. There’s a sadness clutching his heart.

Your head is nestled under his arm now, your joint hands resting between your bodies. You feel plush beside him, body warm and pillow-like. He wants to touch you desperately, show you just how beautiful you really are. It’s getting hard for him to keep his hands to himself. There’s only a number of times a quick jerk off session in the shower can feel enjoyable. It irks him that you don’t see how gorgeous you look. Even with Eunha’s vomit staining your shirt, messy hair and dark bags under your eyes, you’re still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

Namjoon’s holding your hand tight, the press of his wedding band against your own fingers making your body warm despite the irritation you feel. He’s got a look in his eyes, the one he gets when he’s presented with a problem and he’s trying to figure out the solution in his head. A part of you knows where this conversation may be going. You almost don’t want to happen, still revelling in the easy morning atmosphere. But it has to happen at some point. You’d avoided it long enough.

“Can I ask you a question?” He starts with that, gingerly testing the waters.

You squeeze his hand, a tiny thrill running through you at the size difference of your fingers. “Yes.”

“Why won’t you let me touch you?”

You hate how it sounds, like your depriving him of something he so desperately craves. But he’s current, you don’t let Namjoon touch you anymore. Cuddles and hugs, yes. But you don’t allow him to touch you in the way that leaves the both of you breathless and needy, eager for whatever the other has in store. You miss it of course – Namjoon knows your body so well. But your insecurities sit heavy on your chest, keeping you from caving into your own desires.

You open your mouth and then pause, unsure of how to phrase this in a manner Namjoon will understand. It’s not like he carried Eunha inside him, felt his whole body change to accommodate the living proof of your love for each other. Your body still didn’t feel like it was yours. Would he be able to understand that? How foreign you felt to yourself?

“You wouldn’t want to touch me if you saw me.” You settle for that, although it doesn’t quite encompass the feeling in your gut when you think about your body.

Namjoon seizes at that, bewilderment on his face. It’s something he never expected you to say. Even if he’d hypothesized that you are insecure about your body he’d never thought that you would think he’d not find you desirable. He can’t even form a counter yet, still trying to process the fact that his wife doesn’t think he’s into her anymore. It’s ridiculous to him. Namjoon loves every part of your body, and his desire for you isn’t just physical. You make him feel safe, cared for, loved. Something he’s never felt in a relationship and something he never wants to lose. It makes his skin prickle, that you think he’s only in this for your appearance.

He thought he’d made it clear a long time ago that this is everything to him. There is a ring on your finger for a reason.

“Why would you think that?” He says, still shocked that you would think he was so shallow.

You shrug in his arms, dispirited. “I don’t know.”

He stays silent on that, still trying to piece together a solution to this obstacle in your relationship. He isn’t sure how he can prove to you how wrong you are. It hits him a second later, a partial solution. There’s still more you need to talk about, a serious sit-down, but Namjoon can sense right now that if he told you were wrong you wouldn’t believe him at all. He needs to show you.

“I don’t know why you would ever think that either,” He says, cupping the base of your chin. You’re taken aback by the butterflies that swim in your stomach when he tilts your head to face him, the feeling of his firm hand holding you in place making your heart seize in your chest. “You’re wrong but I know you won’t listen to that, because you’re stubborn.” He mumbles it into your forehead, the ghost of a kiss pressed against your skin. “So stubborn. Like a damn mule.” You smile despite the sadness you feel because Namjoon is right about your obstinacy. But then he’s tugging you on top of him, knocking the breath right out of your chest as your bodies collide.

“What can I do to change your mind on that?” He asks, lidded eyes on your own. Your heart is thrumming dangerously in your ribs. Namjoon’s chest is broad beneath your fingertips. He’s still massive, a giant really, bulky shoulders and arms closing you in. His question has your head reeling, you hadn’t thought about proposing something like that. It takes a moment to pause and think about what you really want Namjoon to do. You don’t want to feel like this forever, undesirable and unwanted, when you know the man underneath you wants you just as bad was you want him. It’s not hard to settle on what you want. Maybe Namjoon knows that too.

“We could do stuff,” You mumble, feeling uncharacteristically shy. “Take it slow until I feel better, maybe?”

Namjoon nods in agreement. “That’s fine with me. Tell me when you want to start. I’ll wait for you.”

His patience makes your heart warm and you feel braver already, encouraged by his immediate acceptance. He feels nice against you too, big and strong. A cocoon of Namjoon to protect you from the world. It’s not hard for your body to respond, your libido already returning as your hormones settle again.

“We could… Start now, if you’d like.” He’s vaguely surprised by your eagerness but he won’t protest, not when he’s been aching to touch you for months.

“Okay,” He says, hands coming to take their spot at your waist.

“Okay,” You reply, still too hesitant to make the first move. Namjoon picks that up quickly, an oddity because you were always the one instigating the physical aspect of your relationship. He’d lead this if it makes you feel comfortable. He’d do anything to make you feel comfortable.

“Slow,” He murmurs, as you shuffle closer to him. You nod, a heat building between your legs as his head dips towards yours. You close your eyes in anticipation for the kiss you read on his face but you’re met with the brush of his nose against yours instead. You stiffen, for a second, not sure what Namjoon is doing. He takes the opportunity to bump your noses together again, making your heart jolt in your chest.

“Namjoon?” You question, eyes blinking open. He’s smiling at you warmly, dimples settling in his rose tinged cheeks. He hums, the sound vibrating through your chest. There’s a spark against your skin with his hand trails across your back, drawing patterns that burn through the fabric of your shirt, branding your skin.

“You said slow right?” He returns, nudging his nose against yours again. You follow his direction with a timid nod of your head, a small thrill shooting through your body when your noses meet. It’s oddly intimate, for something as mundane as brushing your noses together. But Namjoon holds you steadily as the heat between your thighs rises, your foreheads grazing each other with every bump of your nose against his. It’s torturous, having his mouth so near but not being able to taste him on your tongue. But you don’t push it. You allow yourself to enjoy the tenderness of the moment, the simple need to hold each other outweighing the wetness developing between your legs. You’ll let him set the place, wait for him to tip you over the edge.

And he does a moment later, angling his head so that his mouth slots against yours in a fluid moment that makes your bones melt. You know exactly how Namjoon’s lips feel on your own, a result of thousands of kisses shared between the two of you over the course of your eight year relationship. It’s reassuringly familiar, the press of his plush lips on you as he softly coaxes your mouth open. You give into it easily, a small sigh escaping your throat when his tongue meets yours. Both of your breaths are a little stale but neither of you care, too enamoured by the way your mouths feel against each other. The kiss makes you feel giddy, like you were college students again, tripping over your infatuation for each other. When he groans, the sound settles deep in your throat and you can’t help but whine against his lips in return.

You break away, breathless, hearts beating in unison. Namjoon is still looking at you, honey eyes glazed over as his hands gentle paw along your hips.

“Is this okay? Can I touch you like this?” He murmurs, noting the small bucks of your hips. It’s getting hard to control his hands. He aches to squeeze, feel, mark your skin with an urgency that he’d never really felt before. He was rough in bed, he knew that. Although he is aware you asked to take this slow. But there’s something spurring in his gut that’s making him wait to drill you hard. Fuck you into the mattress with vigour that’s foreign to him. Maybe even fuck another baby into you. He bits his tongue around that desire though. It’s too early for him to mention that yet, not when you were still so hesitant towards your own body.

You nod, unable to stop squirming against him. There’s a bulge poking at the base of your stomach, twitching with promise every time your hips swivel into him. Namjoon’s hands slip underneath your shirt, fingertips grazing the small of your back as he gently bucks up into you. You sigh at the touch, mouth coming up to meet Namjoon’s again, with a desperation you feeling in your core. He kisses you back with the same neediness, teasing your mouth with little nips that make your thighs tremor. You don’t know how long you stay like this, rutting against each other frenziedly. Time both stills and flies, mind focused on the press of Namjoon’s body against your own.

It’s only when Eunha lets out a loud burble that you pull away, the moment broken by the sound of her shifting in her sleep. You glance at her crib simultaneously, bodies frozen. Another little noise falls from her lips and you rise without a second thought, padding over to check on her.

“Is she awake?” He whispers, elbows propped on the bed to get a better view at the crib. You nod, a smile already creeping onto your face when her eyes slowly crack open, cloudy sleep. Her cheeks are pudgy, a little drool on her chin that you wipe away with the pad of your thumb as your pick her up. She makes a little squeeze in your arms, a noise that clutches your heart tightly. When you turn to face Namjoon, his eyes are soft but he stays planted on the bed.

“You got a situation there?” You ask, even though you already know the answer. Eunha fisting your shirt tightly, sighing softly against your shoulder.

He groans loudly, head falling back on the sheets with a thud. “Please don’t.”

“I’m doing nothing,” You protest, bouncing your baby lightly in your arms. Her mouth curls up into a little smile and your heart bursts. “Right, bubba? Mommy’s doing nothing.”

“Don’t listen to her, she’s the worst.” You fix Namjoon with a glare, moving to fetch a new diaper for her in your drawers. There’s a tell-tale stench wafting from her bottom. He grins from the bed, bunching the blankets around his crotch. Your eyes falter on it for a split second but Namjoon catches it away.

“Later?” He asks, voice hopeful.

Eunha takes a deep breath in your arms, preparing her lungs for an ear piercing wail that hits your ears a moment later. The both of you cringe, the heavy atmosphere from before evaporating immediately. But you send your husband a small smile away, a diaper tucked under your armpit as you head towards her changing table.

“Later,” You hum, much to his chagrin. “Get up and help me change her diaper.”

[afictionaladventure16]

Remember Me (Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanoff x Daughter!Reader)

Chapter 1

Remember Me Masterlist

Warnings: Ummmmm none for this chapter. 

Word Count: 1,611

“Bucky, it isn’t safe!” Natasha said as her face scrunched up from the pain. 

“Natasha, Breathe with me,” he exclaimed as he tried to focus on the road and focus on his laboring girlfriend that was sitting on the passenger seat. 

“We should just go back to the apartment,” she expressed as the contraction slowly went away, “it isn’t safe at the hospital.” 

“It isn’t safe giving birth at the apartment,” Bucky said softly, “I need you both alive.” 

“But what if they catch us?” 

Bucky sighed, “They won’t.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“You’re right, I don’t,” Bucky said causing Natasha to smirk, but it instantly faded as another contraction hit. “We’re almost there, doll, just hold on,” he said softly as he raced his way towards the hospital.

They made to the hospital in time, Natasha was quickly sent to the delivery room with Bucky by her side. 

“I’m gonna need you to give me one more big push on this next contraction,” the doctor informed Natasha. 

Natasha was out of breath, she held onto Bucky’s hand as he placed a small kiss on her forehead, “I can’t,” she breathed out. 

He chuckled, “this coming from a girl that can kill without hesitation,” he whispered in her ear. 

She glared at him, “that’s different,” she snarled. “Oh fuck!” She yelped as another contraction hit, Bucky straightened up. 

“You got this, doll,” he said softly as he placed a kiss on her temple. 

“Shut the fuck up, Barnes!” She yelled in pain. 

“Push, Natasha,” the doctor said. Natasha gave it her all, she pushed through the contraction, letting out a huge breath once the pain was gone. A split second later the wails of a baby crying pierced through their ears. “It’s a girl!” The doctor informed the parents. 

Natasha smiled at Bucky who was in awe at the baby that the doctor was holding up, he looked over at Natasha, crashing his lips with hers, “it’s a girl,” he whispered as he pulled away from the kiss. 

Natasha chuckled, “we have a girl,” she said in disbelief. A nurse placed the baby on Natasha’s chest. 

The parents looked at their child in awe and disbelief, “she’s so tiny,” Bucky said softly as he looked at his newborn daughter. 

Natasha felt something she had never felt before, she had felt a new form of love. She had only just met her child but she had held her for nine months. Protecting her from potential death. Natasha knew right then and there she would do anything to protect her. 

The nurses and doctors had left the couple to bond with their newborn, Bucky looked towards his two loves, knowing very well that their protection was his top priority. “We’ll leave tonight,” he said softly, “she’ll get her vitals checked so you can get some rest while I fill out the birth certificate.” 

Natasha gave Bucky a nod, “she needs a name.” They both stayed silent for a few seconds, they hadn’t thought of names, “Sarah?” Bucky shook his head, “Natalie?” Bucky raised his eyebrows at Natasha, “I thought I’d at least try.” 

“How about… Y/N?” 

Natasha smiled, looking down at the small bundle in her arms, “Y/N, I like it… Y/N Barnes…” Bucky’s heart leaped at the sound of it. He placed a small kiss on Natasha’s temple, “Do you want to hold her?”

Bucky looked at Natasha with a surprised expression, of course, he wanted to hold her, but his thoughts got the best of him. The thought of his hands, the hands that were turned into weapons, were going to hold something so innocent. “Um, I-” 

“It’ll be okay,” Natasha said softly, giving him a reassuring smile. She knew how bad his thoughts would turn against him and she was determined to make sure they didn’t get the best of him. Not today. 

She slowly repositioned herself so that she could place the small bundle into Bucky’s arms. She watched as Bucky looked down at their daughter, in his arms, in awe. Tears began to form in his eyes as he continued to take in every single detail. He sniffled, “she’s gorgeous,” he whispered as he looked over at Natasha, “just like her mama.” 

“Smooth, old man,” she said with a smirk. A yawn escaped her mouth. 

Bucky slowly began to rock the baby in his arms, the feeling of holding his daughter was easily becoming a norm to him. “Get some rest, Doll,” Bucky began to say, Natasha hesitated, “don’t worry, I’ll keep watch.” 

Natasha leaned back into the hospital bed, “Is this our life now?” She questioned as she glanced over at the door, anticipating their captures would come barging through those doors and take them away. She feared what would happen if it would happen, she feared for her daughter and she feared for the man she loved so dearly. The pain they put him through. But now he was getting his memories back. 

Bucky sighed, he wished he could say it wasn’t. He wished he could. “I’m afraid so,” he said softly. 

“We’re like Bonnie and Clyde.” 

Bucky chuckled, “get some rest, doll.” 

Natasha gasped as she woke up, she felt tears begin to brim her eyes at the thought of her dream. Knowing very well that she wasn’t going to have any luck going back to bed, she got up and walked out into her apartment kitchen. 

The sound of the fridge door closing startled Natasha, “Fuck, Rodgers, warn a girl,” she said softly as she placed her hand on her chest. 

“Language,” he whispered as he poured himself a glass of milk. Natasha rolled her eyes as she walked around the Super Soldier, “Why are you up?” Steve asked softly as he watched Natasha look through the fridge.

Natasha sighed, opening the freezer door instead and grabbing the small container of ice cream, “I had a dream,” she stared. 

“And was this dream about freedom and jobs?” Steve said with a smirk. 

She glared at him, he held up his hands in defense, “it actually was more like a memory,” she whispered as she grabbed a spoon from the drawer nearby. 

“A memory about what?” 

Natasha sighed as she took a spoonful of ice cream, she slowly let it melt in her mouth, debating on telling Steve. He knew about her past, she had come clean to him long ago when they first searched for Bucky and now years later, it still was something that she found hard to talk about. She looked over to the door in the hallway that belonged to the other super soldier, “it was about her,” she said softly before drawing her eyes back over to Steve. 

“Who?” 

“Y-Y/N,” her voice cracked, she hadn’t said the name in years. “The day she was born,” she said as a small smile played on her lips, “it was so vivid… Gosh, she was so tiny.” 

“You miss her, huh?” 

“Not a day goes by that I don’t,” Natasha sighed. 

Steve nods, “whenever Bucky recalls the time he spent with you and Y/N,” Steve lets out a breath, “it’s like he talks in the present time and he forgets, but he sounds so happy.”

“We were,” Natasha said softly, “Back then, he was beginning to remember things from his past and he had control over himself, but most of all he was an amazing father.” 

“Do you think she’s still alive?” 

“I hope she is,” Natasha whispered, “I’ve searched and searched but I come up empty-handed every single time.” 

“Hydra is tricky,” Steve began to say 

“That’s the thing, Steve, I don’t even know if she was with Hydra or the freaking K.G.B. or if they killed her after they took her from us.” Natasha felt tears beginning to sting her eyes, Steve quickly noticed this and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I don’t know what happened to her, Hell, I don’t even know what she looks like.” Natasha let out a shaky sigh, “my last memory of her she was being taken from my arms and she screamed for us and we couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t protect her.” 

Steve wrapped his friend in a tight embrace, “you did your best,” he reassured.

Natasha shook her head, quickly wiping away the tears that had escaped, “I won’t stop searching for her,” Natasha gazed over to Bucky’s door. She wondered if he had searched for her like she did, not out of competition but out of curiosity. 

Steve followed her gaze, “Do you think you and Bucky will ever be the same?” Steve asked softly. Natasha shrugged, “oh come on, Nat, I’ve seen the way you guys look at each other.” 

Natasha smiled, “I have a lot of hope, Steve.” 

Steve gave her a reassuring smile, “we should at least try to get some sleep,” He set his glass in the sink, “we have a funeral to attend tomorrow.” Natasha nodded in agreement, she placed the ice cream container back in the freezer and set the spoon she was using in the sink. Steve and Natasha walked down the hallway and into their own rooms, “night, Nat.” 

Bucky took a step back from the door, he had been hearing the conversation unintentionally. He was going to join his friends in the kitchen but when he heard the mention of his daughter’s name he came to a stop. 

Bucky sat back down on his bed, his mind running in different directions. He’d give anything to have his daughter back, to know where she was, to have the love of his life back in his arms alongside their daughter.

Next chapter will be posted on August 14th.

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[victoirebisset]

[ VICTOIRE ELISE BISSET. 28. CISFEMALE. SHE/HER] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ SIX MONTHS ] and are originally from [ WELLESLEY, MASSACHUSETTS  ]. They are a [ PUBLICIST ] and in their downtime love [ CATCHING A MOVIE AT CINEMA PARADISO ] and [ ENJOYING A NICE BOTTLE OF RED WINE ]. They look a lot like [ ELIZABETH OLSEN ] and live [ ON SILVERWOOD TERRACE ]. 

the basics

full name: victoire elise bisset.

nicknames: v or vic. never, and i do mean never, vicky.

birthplace: wellesley, massachusetts.

birthdate: january 9th, 1992.

zodiac sign: capricorn. 

alignment: chaotic good.

personality type:  estj.

personality traits: dogmatic, loquacious, reliable, patient, rancorous, affable, critical & forthright.

gender: cisfemale.

sexual / romantic orientation: heterosexual / heteroromantic. 

the biography

-

the daughter to a (now) disgraced politician coming from old money and a disgruntled, yet loyal to a fault, housewife, there was never a time victoire didn’t know luxury  — or chaos. 

as a matter of fact, her entrance to the world was an example of both. the first  — and what would ultimately be only — child to gabriel and nicolette bisset, there was no expense spared as they prepared for her arrival; hundreds of designer onesies she’d grow out of within weeks were purchased, an italian artist flown in and commissioned to hand paint a mural in her nursery and her mother only received the finest of prenatal care. for most, it was an ostentatious display that was NOT needed. but that has always been the bisset way. flamboyant and shameless flaunting of their wealth was the norm as it was, so of course they’d go all out when expecting a baby.

at the same time, there was a certain level of disappointment. as far as her father went, at least. he had been hoping for a son to follow in his footsteps. but, he’d tell his wife in an attempt to convince them both, a little girl wasn’t so bad  — he’d love, cherish and spoil her regardless. and he did do at least two of those three things. but that son he’d been hoping for never came. once victoire was born, his wife refused to let him touch her. he assumed it was “baby hormones” but really it was because hours before her baby shower, nicolette had received a call from one of his mistresses confessing the affair because she felt “bad” knowing she was pregnant. nicolette never confronted her husband but their relationship was never the same.

growing up in the lapse of luxury, most would assume vic had nothing to complain about. while her material needs were always met, the emotional ones were often neglected. her mother, bless her heart, tried. but it wasn’t easy for her. nicolette was responsible for raising their child and presenting the bissets as the picture perfect family all while knowing her husband was fucking around on her. who wouldn’t become resentful dealing with that? snide comments were thrown across the dinner table, there were times she’d disappear in her room with a bottle of wine. she’d try to be there for her daughter as much as she could but she struggled. and her father, on the other hand, focused more on his career than his family. a lawyer turned politician, he campaigned, had frequent business meetings and a long list of secret lovers to split his time between. hard to be present with a schedule like that. 

gabriel’s career choice was confusing for young victoire. there were those that publicly villainized him and thought he was the devil. there were those that put him on a pedestal. it was overwhelming... and alluring. her father was the mayor of wellesley her entire life and was even campaigning for senate when the “scandal” happened. it was always a part of her life and politics intrigued her. she’d dreamed of being the first woman president. 

her father vowed to help her get into politics and the first step of that was hiring her to be his publicist as soon as she graduated from college. it was a blatant act of nepotism but at least she was really freakin’ good at her job. she gets word accusations of bribery would be hitting the local news and that same day there’s a press conference so shots of him shaking hands, kissing babies and making grand promises distracts from the news. his morality is called into question and he’s front and center campaigning for every local charity for six months. it was a bit grimey witnessing fully the seedy underbelly of politics and her idealistic view of it changed drastically. she no longer wanted to be president or a senator or anything else like that. she did, though, learn she really did like pr and enjoyed the role she had. at least until she was expected to pay off her father’s pregnant mistress who was threatening to spill the beans about their illicit affair.

while her mother had known about his infidelities for years, vic had no clue. she always assumed her father was working. that was why he couldn’t come to her recitals or presentations in school. that was why he was late to every single one of her birthday parties. she had convinced herself that her father wasn’t a scumbag but a highly ambitious politician and anyone else in his position would do the same.

to an extent, she had idolized her father  — glorifying the parent who was never really there and whose approval she would have died to get. the version of him she had created was destroyed. she was furious, heartbroken and confused. she quit that very day and a week later, the news broke. that one woman speaking out opened the floodgates and years of affairs and other naughty behavior was broadcasted across the state. her mother would have made tammy wynette proud with how she stood by her man but victoire did not follow suit. she worked in public relations so she never outright spoke against him because no one would hire her after publicly blasting a former client in the press. even if it was her father. but she knew how to expertly throw shade. and she did. quite a few times, actually. 

after she quit, victoire ended up in new york where she worked with a pr firm for a couple of years before getting a job with a more prestigious one in los angeles which prompted her move to silver lake. it’s been surprisingly difficult for her to adjust to life on the west coast. she’s a new england girl through and through and there’s just something about palm trees and sunshine that feels wrong. she also just really misses her family. well, just her mother really. they make do by facetiming twice a week and they’re even in the middle of discussing flying her out for the holidays. unfortunately, though, it’s unlikely to happen as her mother is insistent on bringing gabriel. victoire hasn’t seen or spoken to her father since the day she told him to go fuck himself and stormed out of his office. not because of any guilt from “abandoning” her father. — she’d add ‘essentially ruined my father’s political career’ to her resume if she thought it’d help her —  but because she is still so damn angry. the closest thing to contact they have is him wiring her money every month. this “allowance” isn’t really needed, victoire makes a very good living without needing any of what she calls bisset blood money. but she allows it to continue because she considers it restitution for decades of lackluster parenting and lies.

where victoire really shines is her career. she’s relatively new to the scene  — at least compared to most publicists in hollywood  — with only seven years of experience under her belt but don’t confuse quantity with quality. if you are a public figure, you want vic on your team. she’s tenacious and, while some may view her methods as underhanded, there is no story she can’t get ahead of. and if she can’t distract from it entirely, she can turn it into a positive or at least paint her client as the victim. duis, public disagreements with significant others, leaked sex tapes. she’s seen it all. she’d dedicated to the cause and makes up her own rules, but also has a strict moral code so she won’t do something or work with someone that goes against that.

victoire thrives in social situations and really loves to hear herself talk. she also tends to assume she’s the smartest person in the room and just expects everyone to go along with what she says. and she doesn’t really handle it well when that doesn’t happen. some may say she’s stubborn, she says she’s a leader who likes to take charge and handle things. she’s a very honest and straightforward person who is clear about her intentions in a relationship whether it’s professional, platonic or romantic. she doesn’t play games, she’s not wishy-washy and she has a tendency to see the world in black and white. 

coming from a long line of elitists, vic is proud to say that is at least one pattern she broke. she just isn’t one to parade around her wealth. yes, she has a nice house and she does tend to favor designer brands when it comes to clothing, but there really isn’t anything pretentious about her. the closest you’ll get is her having dinner at a five star restaurant or buying a ridiculously expensive bottle of wine. but that’s only because she likes good food and even better wine. she’s not one to show off and is just as likely to be seen at a fancy hollywood party mingling with clients as she is laying on her couch, wrapped up in blankets and watching golden girls reruns. she’s a combination of dorothy and blanche, by the way. 

-

anyways, i think this is long enough so i’ll wrap it up and just say i am excited to be here and that i look forward to writing with you all. i’ll be reaching out to everyone regarding plots at some point (i say some point because i’m a slow typer with a small attention span who is currently working 60 hours a week so i’m easily distracted AND tired) but you can expedite the process by sending me a message or liking this and i’ll put you at the top of my list. in the meantime, though, feel free to just assume connections. we can go with the flow and i don’t require connections before interacting anyway. aaaand now i’m really stopping! 

[mistikapoetry]

A Mirror of The Way

I was never particularly in love with my job. It just paid the bills. I did not enjoy being a cork in the machinery of the corporate world. Waking up every morning to check my emails. Logging in the court orders for all the employees who would now see less of their paychecks because a company they owed money to now decided to garnish their wages. Sifting through document after document to make sure another company got no more, and no less than what the court allowed in a subpoena order. Pouring over a new contract for a word that could cost the company a few hundred thousand dollars, should the designated person sign on the designated line. Calling one Union representative after another to let them know when their respective unionized employees would see the extra cents they bargained for with their nails and teeth. Reading union contract after union contract and translating it into numbers the company could tuck away into its pockets to push more and more people out of unions. Soul-sucking work for a self-proclaimed democratic socialist like myself. But it paid the bills.

When COVID-19 hit Wuhan, the Chinese government quickly locked down the city, sterilized the streets, and stabilized its stocks market. The U.S. did not. A few weeks after working from home became the new norm, I watched the stock market fall into shambles, and I knew it was a matter of time before another recession unfolded. Hundreds of thousands of industries were not equipped to work remotely, and others relied on daily profit. Not to mention the fact that service industries, such as beauty, production, and food markets would see a huge decline in their income, not only because their mode of operation had drastically changed, but also because in times of crises it is human nature to want to save and cut spending on what are considered “luxury items”. Things that could wait until the clouds of the storm have passed.

I was trying to take a nap at noon when the email came. “Shahd,” my boss wrote, “due to the current economic instability our departments have been asked to take quick action. You will be laid off effective March 31st to May 1st... You will continue to receive company benefits and healthcare”. I had received a message a few minutes prior from my manager asking how I was “holding up”. I replied “meh”, turned off my screen and went back to sleep. In an hour I woke up to finish my work. My manager had texted a heartfelt apology saying she was not aware the company was doing this and that she hoped they could get me back as soon as possible. I thanked her, responded to emails, logged in court orders, supported my colleagues, and replied to my boss “I understand, thanks”. After the day was over and done with, I turned out the lights, went back to bed, held myself, and cried. It is a terrible thing to feel so dispensable. A terrible thing to be pitied. I knew I was not going to die of starvation. I knew I would not lose my home. I had no children to support. I really had no reason to feel this bad. I had enough experience to find another job, should I want to skip the wait. But I did. I felt terrible. And small. I had not been “unemployed” since I was seventeen. I did not know what it meant to not to be working for too long. Even as I was a young high school student, with no responsibility for anyone but myself, and no bills owed but to my next meal out with friends… I had a job. I paid taxes. I identified as someone who earned an income. And perhaps realizing that, at that moment, was the most painful reckoning yet. I had become my worst nightmare. I was my job. The same job I hated. I had become nothing more than my paycheck. So, I cried. I cried because I had been furloughed. I cried because I felt this bad for being furloughed. I cried when my mother, my brother, my sisters, and my father came and tried to comfort me. I cried when they offered to help, because I had always been the one to split my last $10, or take another job behind my parents’ backs, just to help my siblings pocket some change. When times got tough, I got tougher. I found a way… I sold something… I covered the bills… I bailed my family out… But now I cried…

When I was a young girl of nineteen, in my third year of college, I remember vowing to my friend over the phone, that I would not yield my neck to the chains of capitalism. I was a fierce fire that ate everything that opposed it back then. I had a straight spine, a loud voice, and a sharp mind. I was also very young and naïve. Once I graduated, I was perhaps going to take a job that made some good money, just to pay the bills, and then I was going to claim my destiny. This is what I told myself. But as time passed, I realized that there was no way to get through capitalism but to go through it. To walk through its burning flames with all your open skin. There is no way to poke at the bear from the sidelines, when you owe the bear debt in the form of student loans. You will have to dance with the devil if you want to become anything, if you want to save anything… least of all yourself. This is what that young girl of nineteen did not know. This is what the virus has taught me. The worst thing that can happen is not losing the race, it is losing yourself in the race.

In the days that followed, I was able to take a good look at myself. At my LSAT books, at all my dreams and aspirations. At the life I had told myself I wanted; and to tell myself— here, the worst has happened. Everything you have ever feared has barged into your home and laid claim to your life. Now what? There is nothing left to hide behind, so who do you want to become? I would be lying if I said this was a liberating experience. I still cling on to the expectations that I have worked towards for so long. Expectations that I’ve held before my eyes for so long that I’ve forgotten if they are what I want for myself or what people have always wanted for me. None of this is easy, and none of it will ever be. When we are young, we are in a hurry to grow up because we assume that with age, we will gain freedom. And perhaps this is true. But it is the nativity of youth that leads us to presume that freedom is a borderless terrain of happiness. When we are in college, we live out some of the best days of our lives. But it is not enough. Our present is lived in the future. We live out our days planning for what we will do when we graduate— what form of our unchained selves will we become once we receive that piece of paper that says we are now students of life? It is only a matter of time until we realize there was nothing worth rushing to. Life is a lousy teacher. It does not leave notes on our test paper to let us know how we can get better scores next time. It is an uphill battle, and when we tire, we sit on our knees in the middle of the path and turn the mirrors away. We do not want to see how disheveled life has made us. How unlike ourselves we’ve become, as we climb towards who we think we are destined to be. This is the hardest truth to swallow, so some of us walk through life spitting constantly. Becoming whatever the path wills us to be. A mirror of the way. Unless…

[soul-heart-and-beyond]

Negaduck Headcanons! (Pt.1)

This is probably the most ambitious that I will get with exploring a character like this. Not only because I really like Negaduck (More than I talk about him. I generally do this with a lot of characters because you guys got your thing, and I don’t want to damage that character for you because of my portrayal or showing you all with my love for them. Yeah, I hold my feelings back, but I have good reason for that.), but because with all of the weird fluidity his story and character has backing it up. 

This isn’t going to be like the definitive version of him, I’m not sure if there will ever be one, but this is just how I see him and want to explore some of the less thought about concepts with him. There’s been stuff about him doing things because of NegaGosalyn or NegaMorgana, but this one’s going to be different. Consider this just a rework to make him more... realistic? (Sounds like a terrible idea since he doesn’t seem to work well with that, but just give me a moment.) At this point, I just want to share or project some things that could work once given good thought and consistency to his background.

I might have to split this into parts like the others since this one’s gonna be preeety long.

The best place to start off is with the concept of the Negaverse in general, which is supposedly everything nearly turned upside down compared to the common universe (I guess Primeverse but it’s hard to say honestly?) we see, the Disney Afternoon universe. Given that, heroes are villains, villains are heroes, ordinary people are grunts or the street trash would actually be good people, or dead, that too. It’s a place where evil or bad prevails over good, and while the good does stay strong, so does the evil that maintains the universe. Maybe it’s a boring concept, but to me at least (Though that doesn’t instantly make it good because I like it.), it allows for more interesting debates on morality, what doing the right thing is, and how should consequences work. It’s a glimpse into a world dominated by bad and the good thing there is to be bad, do bad, instead of being good and to do good like it is over in the regular DA (Disney Afternoon) universe. I wanted to touch upon this with Nega Fenton and eventually other counterparts of the muses I have, but since this whole guy is that concept personified, might as well do it with the one that started the whole mess.

Granted, Negaduck’s first appearance in the show is Just Us Justice Ducks, it kind of just skimmed over who he was an just got to the point of him being a villain, something that can really confuse others as most villains usually have an origin story to them or are already pre-established in the world before the hero does. It does give some mystery as to who he was, but since his origin of becoming Negaduck, of even finding the cake that had a dimensional rift inside of it and allowing for him to traverse from dimension to dimension. However, since there never was an episode to explore that and the comics were close to getting to his origin, it seems like he does have some potential to explore several avenues depending on circumstances. 

It could be like a situation where he lost NegaGosalyn (And while that seems more likely for Darkwarrior Duck to happen and we see she’s alive in Life, The Negaverse, and Everything, you can chalk it up to this being the mallard that was in the Negaverse, not the common verse, he could turn this way, so that’s an option.), or where he loses NegaMorgana like it was going to be seen before the comic got cut (Similar circumstance to NegaGosalyn, but it also wouldn’t feel right given that he doesn’t seem to have an attachment to common universe’s Morgana, while Darkwing felt empathy to NegaGosalyn. Sure, you can say that when Negaduck was trying to get Gosalyn to be his little partner during the latest comic run of Darkwing Duck, the Jailbreak one [Orange is the New Purple?], but that could have been some remnant of Paddywhack, you know, that interdimensional demon that did show interest in her in the show?) 

Anyway, it just doesn’t seem likely for him to lash out at everyone when NegaMorgana dies or disappears, and the same for Gosalyn since in the show he knows she’s alive, and just doesn’t seem to bother with her much anymore. She’s like a gem that’s lost it’s luster, a used up toy, something that he barely comes back to anymore. And if it’s because he lost her due to a custody battle, it wouldn’t make sense since the Friendly Four explain it upfront that he is Gosalyn’s carefaker, her parental figure, her father. Not only that, but he had to have been doing this this for a while since Darkwing Duck was Darkwing for some time before he met Gosalyn. Of course, he was a minor vigilante, but after meeting Gosalyn, Launchpad, Taurus Bulba and his henchmen, he did get more recognition from there on. Given the idea of somewhat polar opposite universes, it would mean that Negaduck was Negaduck before meeting NegaLaunchpad and NegaGosalyn and ultimately his first encounter with NegaTaurus Bulba.

Another point to address is Negaduck’s real name. You can think of his name as just Negaduck or Jim Starling, Jim Sterling, but for me and this rp blog, the OG Negaduck is Drake Mallard. For everyone else in the Negaverse to go by the same name and respond to that name like their common universe counterpart, and for Negaduck to be the exception? Doesn’t really make sense, and given how he is an evil Darkwing Duck, it only makes sense for him to be Drake Mallard. There have been other series and franchises to do this sort of thing where the character would actually be different like Owlman to Batman from DC Comics. Owlman from Earth 3 isn’t Bruce Wayne, and some characters like Superwoman of Earth 3 is actually Lois Lane. It works there but that’s because it fits that franchise. To fit Disney’s, Negaduck would most likely be Drake Mallard. 

Given that, it is safe to say that his life obviously is not like Darkwing Duck Drake’s as his whole universe is built around the concept of being bad is actually good. So his experiences with his childhood of him being bullied, clowned on, getting wrecked in high school for the first half of it were out of him just being overall bad at being bad. He did some nice things here and there, got punished or bullied for it, and still somewhat had want to do it again. Though over time, and especially around his junior year of high school, the general consensus or the norm of being bad finally clicked. He’d done it before several times, yes. It was what he was being taught at school, besides other useful things that would be needed later on in life. Pretty much, he snapped after being ridiculed for his soft personality, and out of defiance, was willing to kill everyone there. He didn’t get to take out everyone, but he did for the first time fully embrace how good it was to be terrible, to kill, the satisfaction of getting what he wanted or most of it. That day, he was forever changed, and ready to create some mass carnage and despair for his own personal enjoyment.

Knowing that his little prototype outfit for the event where he was ridiculed from wasn’t exactly going to make him look menacing, he sketched up some drafts as to what he would really want for himself to be seen as. Some had overly large fedoras, others had torn clothing, and some had on so much black, belts, and zippers that it just seemed too silly. Eventually, he would come out with his well known attire, and also acquired some orange-scarlet contact lenses to complete his change from Drake Mallard, the one cerulean-eyed wimp that couldn’t do much and was seen as a nobody by society. Instead, he was going to be remembered, he was going to feared, and he was going to be the one thing people worry about most. After all, being remembered was the only thing of value in life, and those that were remembered were the nasty, vile, ruthless, terrible, and just plain malevolent people. They were great because they brought forth a force of fear and anxiety with them, and he was going to be the next one.

After that, Negaduck would out in the streets of St. Canard, terrorizing the people, stealing money and valuables away from banks, stores, and factories, all of the while trying not to get on the radar of some of the superheroes that would clearly want to stop a low level villain like him. After all, he had no powers, was considered barely above a common grunt, but that was to give them a false sense of security. Whenever he wasn’t constantly planning his heists, having “fun” with the civilians, or just doing evil, despicable stuff just for the fun of it, the thrill it gave him, he was furthering him study of different martial arts, techniques, and overall strategies. Sure, the opponents he managed to rack in against their own free will weren’t nothing much but living body bags for him to test out his moves on and not much else, but whatever he could memorize, the real test would come when he was out in the field. With that, he gained some more firepower and artillery so he could slowly increase his status to the well known criminal overworld. 

It wasn’t too long that his face became somewhat well know around St. Canard, and by this point, he was bathing in that recognition, that glory, of being noticed as a menace to society. Of course, he’d have to scram whenever some of the hero chumps like Megawatt (Mega Megavolt) and Harlequin ( Nega Quackerjack), but he was doing better, getting better at being such a blight on the planet. Though his feats before meeting a certain girl and guy on a fated day were small, they were elevated to new heights afterwards. On another casual routine of giving the police a hard time, he saw some goons trying to take some sweet looking young duckling. She just looked so perfect in the sense of the ways on how he could ruin her day, make her cry, the works, and with that in mind, he went and fetched her from those men, but not before dusting off his knuckles on them. Yet he could feel something unusual about this girl as she seemed to appreciate him “saving” her from the strangers. Whatever they planned to do with her wasn’t going ot be nearly as bad as what he had, but she seemed to be somewhat thrilled at how cool and badass he was taking those guys out. It was... kind of charming to see someone actually compliment him out of genuine interest instead of fear.

While driving the young girl back to his home on his customized motorcycle, he wondered if he should indulge himself by keeping this little one around, to show them the ropes, and eventually see them become about as bad as he was? No one was going to be worse than him, but he was fine with them being second place onward. He was only worthy of number one. But as he continued to think about it, it started to seem like he was getting soft. Some of those small traces of Drake Mallard were trying to crawl their way out of what he was, and he couldn’t let that happen. He was no longer that person and definitely didn’t want to be associated with that name. It was by now the girl had asked him his name, and he responded with only, “Negaduck.”. After all, she didn’t need to know much else about him, and certainly nothing of his past life. Once arriving at his home, he let her off of his vehicle and they entered the house and took a break from all of the action that waited outside. Negaduck then decided to ask this girl for her name in return, and learning that it was Gosalyn, he kept that in mind so he could call her by that name. 

For a while they talked about different subjects, like what the other was going to do, and for Negaduck his case was simple, just continue destroying and tearing stuff up, while Gosalyn, she seemed to not really have a set goal in life or after their meeting. This came as a good opportunity for him to propose making her his protege so she could actually get on by in the world, though she’d probably have to ditch the cutesy looking garments she had on. He was astounded to see how quickly she accepted, though it seemed to have been influenced by her not having any parents or adult figures to take care of her. It did tick him off with the potential idea that she might be just putting up with what she could get at the moment, but given how her innocence seemed, it could be that she was just relieved to have someone to take care of her. He’d file in some adoption papers in the morning, but he’d have to know what orphanage she was from. With some more talk to continue on that note, he got the answer he was looking for, and a little more, some information about someone trying to take her, but for what reason? She thought the guys that he knocked out earlier had something to do with this person, and it seemed like a time slot just opened up on his schedule to go ruin this person’s day, or perhaps their life. 

Now that he had some time to relax and get a better understanding of what happened to Gosalyn, Negaduck took her along with him since she would know who he was talking about. Zooming through the streets and past the other vehicles that were in the way, the villain was still assessing himself. Why was he doing all of this besides pleasure? It’s not like the guy Gosalyn knew was going to get him any more famous, but he was wrong, as there were some of the same guys he let live and more on motorcycles with guns, ready to fire and probably willing to kill too. Now this was some action he’d been waiting for, the cops wouldn’t give him this type of attention. Drifting a bit and holding his fedora with one hand to make sure it wouldn’t blow off of his head, Drake grinned out of excitement as he continued to drive, but now he could get some better information out of these goons. Pulling off some close quarters saves and near fatal stunts, the two were able to make it out of the chase with one or two fellas still in pursuit. That was good. It meant his competition would be rough.

(End of Part 1!)

[dweemeister]

The Shop on Main Street (1965, Czechoslovakia)

Putting “New Wave” in a sentence referring to a film movement is asking for trouble. Whether the New Wave is French, Iranian, or Japanese in origin, the term implies a series of films and filmmakers breaking narrative and aesthetic norms in conventional moviemaking, exalting innovation. New Wave directors from those respective countries include Jean-Luc Godard and Agnès Varda; Forough Farrkohzad and Mohsen Makhmalbaf; Nagisa Oshima and Seijun Suzuki. For those I have just listed, I am not denying their talents, their importance to film history. But show any of their films to someone who is less familiar with these New Waves, without the contextual understanding of the environment their works were released, and befuddlement and distaste will likely abound. Rare is the New Wave film that can be shown to unfamiliar eyes and minds without appropriate context.

Ján Kadár and Elmar Klos’ The Shop on Main Street (adapted from Ladislav Grosman’s novel of the same name) is sometimes considered a part of the then-concurrent Czechoslovak New Wave. And if one considers it part of that New Wave, then it is one of the more comprehendible, technically grounded films of that movement. It certainly qualifies as one of those New Wave exceptions – a film that can be digested by a viewer not accustomed to older movies or has any experience with Czech- or Slovak-language cinema. I consider The Shop on Main Street a Czechoslovak New Wave film. When one looks beneath its World War II-era surface, its politics extend beyond its condemnation of Nazi Germany’s treatment of Jews and the local Slovak population. Though rooted in the nation’s past, it was as timely as Věra Chytilová’s Daisies (1966) upon release. The film outdoes many New Wave films by playing fast and loose with genre expectations: a black comedy in the first half, a tragedy in the second. Nazi Germany’s state-executed hatred, if not including the fringe groups inspired by their example, is no longer; Czechoslovakia has long been split in two. The Shop on Main Street and its censure of those who manipulate the oppressed, while pointing their fingers elsewhere.

In March 1939, the Slovak Republic was carved out of Czechoslovakia as a client state of Nazi Germany. The Slovak Republic never received recognition from the Allies (with the brief exception of the USSR until they were invaded by Germany), and they soon set about the process of Aryanization. Aryanization was a process in which Jewish property and businesses were to be put into “Aryan” ownership so as to “de-Jew” the economy. In The Shop on Main Street, Slovak carpenter Anton "Tóno" Brtko (Jozef Kroner) is offered by an official the ownership of a button store owned by the elderly, near-deaf Rozália Lautmannová (Ida Kamińska). Mrs. Lautmannová, a widow, is unaware that there is a war, that Czechoslovakia is being occupied by invaders intent on seizing her business and exterminating her fellow Jews. She welcomes Tóno as a helper and believes – mishears, really – that he is her nephew. Tóno, thrown into this awkward situation, soon learns that Mrs. Lautmannová’s store is not profitable and depends on community donations. The Jewish community implore Tóno to stay as de jure owner of the store, for fears that a more exploitative owner might be selected were he to give it up. Tóno agrees, accepting a small payment, and dedicating himself to the store’s and Mrs. Lautmannová’s welfare. They find time to see the humor in her mishearing and his stubbornness. In the final scenes, Tóno and Mrs. Lautmannová must make a horrific decision.

Czechoslovakia’s communist government, during the Czechoslovak New Wave, frowned upon films that could be construed as anarchic, insurrectionist, troublemaking. The Shop on Main Street – unlike many of its contemporaries – avoided government meddling. The villains here are the Nazis, whom communist forces across the Eastern bloc fought against. On its surface, The Shop on Main Street assigned no criticism towards Czechoslovakia’s communist regime or to communism. Yet the braggadocious Nazis are a minority in this film. A detestable sociopolitical minority becomes empowered when others sympathize with them, rationalize their prejudices and atrocities, and fail to defend the targets of that minority. We see non-Jewish Slovaks shrugging their shoulders about Aryanization. Why not pocket some extra money with this new policy, they reason, in a sluggish economy and a better-armed invading force now patrolling their streets? These are economically desperate times for non-Jewish Slovaks (and, if my hunches are correct, probably even more so for Jewish Slovaks), so they will use whatever programs necessary to survive, rooted entirely in self-interest.

The communist censors probably thought something, while viewing The Shop on Main Street, that is resurgent in modern-day Europe: that Nazi Germany’s anti-Semitic policies (from Aryanization to concentration camps and much more) were Germany’s responsibility and no one else’s. Complicity with the Nazi agenda is being debated among historians, politicians, and within the 125-minute runtime of The Shop on Main Street. For Tóno, the invaders inspire mutterings out of earshot and disdainful moues. His wife, Evelína (Hana Slivková), is concerned only about money – she is thrilled when she learns that the Aryanization program will give them a financial cushion (so she thinks), never contemplating the possibility this it is the beginning of the Jewish community’s ruin. Has she ever known someone from the community? It is not clear. Tóno’s non-Jewish acquaintances, too, are unfazed by these proclamations. Life is already difficult in the Slovak Republic (Czechoslovakia itself was not formed because its patchwork of ethnicities had common political pursuits and aspirations, but due to expedience and tensions with other ethnic groups), and any economic lifeline that will be offered to the non-Jews will be taken. Are those who support and/or participate in Aryanization irredeemable, given their desperation and the Nazi aim to manufacture conflict between Jews and non-Jews? Is Tóno an accessory of the Nazis?

These are questions that may seem small when grasper the enormity of the Holocaust. But that is the intention of directors Kadár and Klos, who often worked together co-directing films. In his directorial statement for the film in the New York Herald Tribune’s January 23, 1966 issue, Kadár (whose parents and sister were murdered at Auschwitz) writes that he was the principal director for this film – Klos agreed to be a sort of secondary director for The Shop on Main Street, deferring to Kadár because of his personal connection to the material. Klos also notes:

[Klos] knows that I am not thinking of the fate of all the six million tortured Jews, but that my work is shaped by the fate of my father, my friends’ fathers, mothers of those near to me and by people whom I have known. I am not interested in the outer trappings—figures, statements, generalizations. I want to make emotive films.

This is not an epic film intended to sweep viewers into the broadest discussions of the Holocaust. The Shop on Main Street is foremost a film about an unlikely connection – one separated by age, language, and faith – that is formed when exploitation would be so much easier. This is where The Shop on Main Street derives its pathos, in places where despair ought to triumph.

When Tóno meets Mrs. Lautmannová for the first time, he is surprised to see how disconnected she is from the world. She knows little of what is happening outside of the storefront door, and she delights in the company of her few – but dedicated – customers and the letters she receives from a relative in America (she hasn’t received their letter in some months). She closes the store on the Sabbath (sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday), retreating to her bedroom to pray and to read. Her friends in the Jewish community realize her frailty and lack of understanding, deciding to protect her from the news of pogroms and war. When lacking any authority to make laws or force political change, all they possess are their words and neighborliness – which they share with Tóno freely. Tóno is struck by their generosity, and his friendship with Mrs. Lautmannová grows. Ida Kamińska (the Polish actress was sixty-six years old when The Shop on Main Street was released, and nicknamed the Mother of the Jewish Stage) and Jozef Kroner (a star of numerous Slovak films, but this is his most recognized work) play off each other. In a series of successive (gentle and dark) misunderstandings, these two commoners are each other’s foils. He is a drinker, impatient, and needs to learn diplomacy. She is kind, religious, and concerningly naïve.Their performances are incredible, helping The Shop on Main Street pull off its tonal transitions that should have seen this film crumble into treacle.

Zdeněk Liška’s score to The Shop on Main Street alternates between foreboding string lines wracked with minor key, string-crossing double stops signaling the precariousness of the story’s developments, the unusual situation the characters find themselves in, and emotional torment. A memorable, carnival-like march that opens the film is used to stunning effect when employed ironically. Liška’s cue placement helps Kadar and Klos achieve the respective comedic and dramatic moods that the screenplay and actors so nimbly establish.

Lengthy is the canon of films depicting and commenting on the Holocaust. The Shop on Main Street, avoiding extensive declarations, is one of the earliest films on that list. Its examinations on complicity and the extent of human callousness reverberate to a present where Holocaust denial and blame-shifting continues to rail against the truth of untold millions and their descendants. It is a tremendous film, one containing unexpected power through its performances and the impossible situations the main characters find themselves in. Bathed in white, the final seconds of The Shop on Main Street show a wonderful dream, one that could only be crafted by a director pouring his decades-long grief for his parents and sister into his work. As the camera dances to the right, away from the shop on main street, we see in the background the shops and homes of the Jewish community now silent.

My rating: 10/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. The Shop on Main Street is the one hundred and fifty-eighth feature-length or short film I have rated a ten on imdb.

[forallyourikemensengokuneeds]

Chasing Answers Teaser

this is a new story that has not been released anywhere yet.

hope you enjoy. though it is a teaser it is long so under the cut.

 She was sitting in the back seat of her oldest brothers car going to the cabin he loved so much. She was going to spend the week with him as her parents had gone on a well-deserved vacation for their anniversary and the younger kids had been split up and sent with one of the older kids. As her parents had once said, it was the one benefits of having children for over twenty years the older ones could watch the younger ones and often did as a payback for the wonderful times their parents had given them.

Danny was her favorite brother. She had begged him to take her with him as the others all went to one or two of the others. Danny had smiled and fluffed her hair as he nodded. He had begun dating a woman who had kids around his youngest sister, Kit’s age, and they all had become fast friends. His girlfriend would be there this weekend as well. Though Kit had gone to the cabin many times before she wasn’t exactly happy about going there. The cabin was in the middle of nowhere surround by nothing but trees, and it could be scary at night if you looked outside. At seven, she had been deemed the child with an overactive imagination, and it had become a problem at times. She was easily frightened by things she didn’t understand. Danny had been the one to talk her out of some of her wilder thoughts.

As they neared the cabin, she began to feel something she didn’t know exactly what it was, but it seemed that something was surrounding her. She was trying to swallow the feeling, so she didn’t upset Danny’s happiness. She knew something was going on with him.

“This weekend is going to be special kid.” He said as they were pulling up to the long driveway to the cabin.

“Why?” she asked in her soft voice.

“It’s a surprise.” He said chuckling. “I’m glad you’re here for it though.” With that, the two settled into the quiet that could be only settling between siblings even if they were over twenty years apart in age. At twenty-seven Danny Jones was finally going to have everything he wanted and having his youngest sister there was more important then anyone could say. He had help raise her as she had been placed in his arms when she was only an hour old, and she batted her bright alert blue eyes at him, and he knew that he would lay down his life for the perfect creature in his arms. They had grown close. He had never missed an event for her, and she had spent many nights at his houses throughout the years. He thought more of her as a daughter than a sister. She was his.

Kit looked around as they got close to the cabin and felt the air that had changed. She didn’t want to say anything to him as he was obviously excited for many reasons she didn’t know. The air was charged with electricity around them. She was alert but didn’t want to upset her brother who had taken her on such short notice as she was supposed to go to another older brothers house along with two of her sisters. She smiled and forced the feeling away. She wanted to enjoy her time here with him.

 Soon the house was full of people. Danny’s girlfriend had arrived with her three kids. They were young like her, but the oldest was two years older. The two younger ones were only three and two, but they were fun to play with. Kit being the youngest in her family of her generation always enjoyed playing with little ones. She was a likable kid and Danny’s girlfriend, Che’re, loved her as well. Che’re was good for Danny Kit thought. She didn’t take anything from him, and moreover, she really embraced the entire family. She was a small-time chef in their small town and had made a name for herself though she also had a lot of questions about her past come around every few months. She had shown up in the town a few years prior with the three kids in tow, and she never discussed her past with anyone, except maybe Danny who had said many times he didn’t care about it. Danny had fallen hard and fast for the beautiful woman and had begun his conquest to win her heart from a few months of her arrival. It had taken years, but he had succeeded in the process. He had taken her children under his wing, and they had let him. he treated them as he did his younger sister, whom he loved as if she was his own child. Che’re had loved that about him from the start. His devotion to his younger siblings. It was what had won her heart as she enjoyed the younger kids in his family as well, all of which had been regular customers for years.

Kit smiled at Che’re as she watched the older woman work her magic in the kitchen for the family for dinner. Che’re was asking questions about school and other things as the other kids were playing on the floor when Danny walked in and smiled at the scene before him. “Che’re are you almost done?” he asked as he sat down at the bar across of the open range.

“Almost why?” she asked with a smile.

“Let me know when you are.” He said as he stood and went to see what the other kids were doing.

“What is he up too?” Che’re whispered to the young girl who shrugged her shoulders in response. Kit didn’t know what her brother had planned for before dinner, and she couldn’t guess either if anyone in the world knew how he was the most unpredictable person when he wanted to be. It was one of those things that she loved about him. He didn’t ever follow the norm.

The dinner was set on the table, and everyone was called into the room to eat. As everyone was ready to sit down, Danny dropped to one knee in front of Che’re. “Cher I love you more than anything else in the world. I love your snots as well. Will you please let me claim you all as mine?”

“Danny!” Che’re exclaimed as he finished and she clasped her hands to face as the tears spilled out of the corners her eyes. She nodded, and Danny swooped her up in his arms, and the kids all shouted in happiness. Kit stood there off to the side and laughed at her older brother, who had just got his family that he had wanted. “Kit get over here. You’re going to be my sister as well!”

The family all calmed down a bit to eat and then settled in for the night as the conversation turned to weddings and everything that goes along with it. Che’re’s oldest child, Nick, sat next to Kit, “so what does that make you to me?”

“Your aunt, I think.” Kit responded.

“You are younger than me, though.” He replied.

“Yeah so?” Kit said as she looked at him. “Age doesn’t matter.”

“So do you want me to call you Aunt Kit?”, Nick asked.

“No.,” she replied. “Just call me, Kit.”

“You know I like you.” He said with a laugh.

“I like you too, Nick.” She said with a smile. The air seemed even more charged then when she had arrived, but again she didn’t want to say anything to upset her brothers special’s day. She held her tongue and went to bed in the upstairs loft with the three other kids.  

 Late in the night Kit woke up to a sound she didn’t know too well. She listened for a few more minutes as she heard the scraping against the door. It wasn't something she knew what it was. It wasn’t a branch rubbing. She crawled over to where Nick was as she shook him. “What?” he grunted.

“Something is wrong.” She said softly. His eyes shot open and looked around. He then heard the sound and nodded. He went to wake up the two little ones, and the four kids went down the back steps of the house, and then they heard the front door open. They all shot into the closet by the hallway. Kit lifted the panel in the back of the closet that she knew her brother had built into the house. The four kids settled in as Kit placed the panel back into place. It was dark in the hiding hole as the two little ones clung to the older ones who were whispering words of encouragement to remain quiet. That was when the screaming started. It wasn’t a fight. It was the scream of being tortured and extreme pain. Kit winced, and Nick flinched as well. They covered the ears of the little ones as Nick pulled Kit closer to him and helped her with the little one in her arms. He wrapped his arm around her as well as Kit was silently crying with fear.

It seemed like forever that they had heard the last scream. They had heard them from both Danny and Che’re but more of them had been from her than him. They hadn’t heard Danny in some time. The house was silent again. There was no sound. Kit made a move to open the hatch she had placed.

“We should stay here,” Nick said.

“We need to do something they could be hurt.” Kit said.

“They aren’t hurt anymore,” Nick said softly. “I think my dad found them.”

“Your dad?” Kit asked.

“Don’t ask.” Nick pleaded.

“Let me go out there and see. I will come get you if we can leave. I know the way to the closest house. They will help.” Kit said as she pulled herself together. She went to open the hatch silently or as silently as possible. There was no movement in the house. She let her senses reach out. She crawled out, and she placed the piece of wood back in place. She stood in the closet and pushed open the door. She took a step out, and she knew something was very wrong.

The was a metallic scent in the air. She took a deep breath him and almost gagged from the scent. She crept down the hallway to the main room of the cabin. She stayed low and away from the windows. The young girl stood in the hallway in the doorway of the main room of the cabin what she had seen was the thing of nightmares. The bodies had been beaten and sliced open. Their blood was everywhere and was making it’s way to the edge of the hallway to where she was standing. There was nothing she could do but stand there for a few minutes. She turned to go back to the closet, they had to go. They had to go now. She knew that. Something had done thing. Someone had done this, and they might come back. She had watched enough tv with her other siblings to know that. She crawled into the closet and opened the panel.

“We have to leave. We have to leave now.” She said. Her voice didn’t sound like herself as she took the two-year-old in her arms as Nick and the three-year-old in his arms came out of their hiding place. She motioned to the back door.

“My mom?” Nick asked.

“Not now.” She said. “We have to go to the neighbors and call for help.”

“Kit?” he whispered.

“I’m sorry.” She said softly, and she could see him start to falter. “We have to get away.”

They opened the backdoor quietly. She again stopped and let her senses take over. The cloud cover left no light in the forest. It looked like a storm was going to blow in. She couldn’t feel anything around them as she took a step out and motioned to the rest of them. She made it to the edge of the forest in the path that she knew well. She heard the branch snap behind them as she turned to glance behind them and saw a shadow figure walked around the house in that moment. He looked up and saw the four kids enter the forest. Their eyes locked and nothing but fear surged within her. She grabbed Nicks hand and pulled. “He’s here.”

“What?” Nick nearly yelled .

“Behind us.” She said. “Come on.”

The two older children carried the two younger ones as they made their way through the woods as fast as their legs could carry them. They knew they were being followed as well. The wind began to pick up. Kit was sure they were headed in the right direction. She was pushing herself and Nick to continue. She knew what had befallen her brother, and his mother would happen to them if they stopped. She looked up and saw a crack of lightning before her. It was blinding. The next few moments seemed like they were not really happening. It looked like a doorway was opening before them. It was a tear of reality in front of the four of them. It was blocking the way to the neighbors. She glanced behind her, and the man she knew had been following them was within arms distance. She held the toddler tighter and grabbed Nicks hand as they ran right into the darkness of the tear.

The tear opened in front of the four children, and they walked out. They were on the edge of a forest with a million tents in front of them. It was daytime as Kit looked at Nick, who was already looking at her. She had blood all over her from when she had leaned on the wall as she crept toward the main room of the house. His eyes opened wide as she looked down at herself. They placed the two younger ones down for a moment and looked around.

“I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore,” Nick said softly.

“What just happened?” she asked.

“I don’t know.”  He said. “Whatever it might have saved us.”

 The soldiers in the tents came out with the small sounds of the children. “What in the seven hells?” some of them said as they looked at the children. Six men started to walk towards the children. They all had looked at each other and then back to the children as they walked closer to them.

“What are you doing here?” a man said with an imperious voice.

“Where is here?” Kit asked as she took a step closer to them.

“Japan.” One of them said.

“Wait, you are speaking Japanese?” she asked.

“Yes.” They all replied with a laugh as they looked at her.

“How is that possible?” she asked as she turned around to look at Nick, “You understand them?” he nodded.

“How is what possible?” one of the men asked as he bent down to her level. His light eyes were hypnotizing to her. He had a soft smile on his face as he talked to her in a soft voice.

“We were in America at my brothers cabin. Something happened, and we had to run into the woods to get away. We ran into a black thing and ended up here.” She said as she looked at them.

“She is telling the truth.” One of the men said as he looked at the girl. The others nodded and looked at each other.

“Come on, kids.” One of the men said who had a patch over one eye. “come on Kitten you need to change. Are you okay that is a lot of blood? Ieyasu you should look her over.”

“How did you know my name?” she asked as she looked up at him as he walked over to her.

“Your name?” he asked.

“Kit.” She said. “That’s Nick, Chole, and Ryan. They are my niece and nephews.”

“Kit?” she heard Nick say from behind her.

“Nick, let them help.” She said, and the young boy nodded at her claim.

“Alright, Kit.” He said.

“Your name is Kit?” one of the men asked as he walked closer. He was dressed in white. “Come then, Little Princess. We will get you cleaned up. My lord, I assume you will be sending them back to the castle?”

“They will be safer here.” The first man who spoke said. “From this moment, these four with be members of my clan.”

“Do you think that is smart, my lord?” one who hadn’t spoke before, “All the children should go to different clans. They can all be housed at the castle together but belong to other clans.”

“Smart thinking Hideyoshi.” The ‘lord’ said. “I will claim the older boy.”

“I will claim the younger boy.” The one called Hideyoshi said with a smile.

“I will claim the little Lass.” The one with a eyepatch on.

“That leaves you, princess.” The one with yellow golden eyes said as he moved closer to Kit. “I think I will claim you.”

“Thank you, sir.” She said as she looked up to the pale face.

$

[elegiacmarquise]

The Legend of Zelda: Stone of Paths: Main Characters and Introduction

Here we are the designs of the Link and Zelda from the concept of a fangame I’m creating: Stone of Paths, which it could be considered as a prequel of BOTW. Before I start, however, I do want to thank my friend g0thi-cr0c, who patiently helped me with the translation of the first messy draft: thank thank you a lot!

I’m really really sorry, true Zelda fans, if this AU is kinda inconsistent with canon: despite I tried to inform myself as best I can do, I’m aware there are something I’ve might be missed; therefore if you notice some continuity or even logical errors, tell me! As you may notice in the next lines, the following are the basics of the games: so I didn’t deepened some parts of the story nor the character, and if I can get some help from some enthusiasts, I can be more than happy! So criticism is more than accepted! Short Version (also known as tl;dr): Setted 10.500 years before BOTW main events, the quest of this incarnation of Link is to defeat a Ganon which split itself into the three (plus two after an event) timelines which started from Ocarina of Time. Starting from the northern of the Akkala Region during the Child Timeline, the Hero of Paths (initially a simple forester) will be helped by Cice, a fairy sent by Zelda to call Link, Tiusha, the daughter of the Gerudo Matriarch and Nanas, a Sheikah who discovered and passed a part of his life to study and develop the Sheikah Slate and its correlations with the Guide Stones. He will give Link the fruit of his studies in order to travel to other timelines. Even the Princess herself will help the hero, albeit her distant relationship with him: initially emotionally afflicted by a tragedy happened in the game’s beginning, she will slowly be aware of herself and unlocking Hylia’s powers. In the final dungeons her presence will be fundamental! ———————————————— Link, the Hero of Paths: the main protagonist of this game; he lives with his horse Epona in the village of Redleaf, northern Akkala: a zone particularly liked by wayfarers for its peculiar position between mountains and seaside. His job is to be a forester but often he helps his fellow villagers in their everyday duties. Gifted by a very good sense of orientation and sword skills, Link is already celebrated in his homeland, mostly for bravely protecting it by the countless monsters who usually scare the wayfarers during their wander. His adventure starts in the beginning of Autumn: the entire village of Redleaf was preparing to host the yearly Fall Festival, and since it was the period of the year which traditionally attracted most tourists, Link overworked himself to make surd the festival was going as best it could be. In the day the festival begun, a mysterious, horrific, creature suddenly appeared in the town nearly destroying it, causing both the tourists and the locals to run away. As soon as he could, Link took his wooden sword and fought the monster but was unexpectedly hit hard by the beast, leaving him nearly dead. In his uncertain state, he heard a muffled voice which tried desperately to tell him something he couldn’t distinguish. That voice vanished just after. Soon after, he was woken up by Cice, a little Fairy who took care of him. After the fairy presented herself as to be sent by Princess Zelda, who desperately tried to send him help with her weak telepathic powers. The magic being begged Link’s help in order to save Hyrule from the return of Ganon and his fellow army, promising him the safety of the village as well: when the forester accepted, Cice hurried Link and Epona to go to the Kokiri Forest, where the Master Sword was protected  and to defeat Ganon as soon as possible. In the woods, despite the Deku Tree and the Sword’s spirit agreed for the Hero to extract it, they both weren’t as sure as they were with the other Links: despite their awareness of the heroic nature of the Akkalan forester, they still had the sensation he was too weak to defeat this force, but didn’t know what exactly led them to these thoughts. They felt this incarnation of Ganon was really different, almost as he came from another world but at the same time they couldn’t prove it, so they preferred remaining quiet. With a new sword in the sheath, the hero ran towards Hyrule Castle, where he met Zelda for the first time a little before trying to defeat Ganon. Despite the weakness of her powers,Zelda still cared about his arrive, to the point to give him some of the best weapons in the castle. She also made her mother bless him, despite the queen being deeply worried about the lack of her daughter’s actual powers. But when Link managed to defeat the beast and everything was about to be restored into their original form, a dark force revived Ganon, allowing him to be even more powerful than he used to be; it destroyed the already corrupted castle, killing almost everyone who lived there at the sole impact, including the Queen of Hyrule. In the tragedy, during the escape from a falling castle, the Hero accidentally lost the Master Sword, but at the same time found the barely surviving body of Princess Zelda. Cice ordered the swordman to escort her to Kakariko Village, the birthace of her old nurse Impa; she the only surviving person who could cure her. After a troubled travel, they arrived to the village: surprisingly, Impa was already aware and prepared of their visit, having been advised by the late spirit of Zelda’s mother in dream. Without anything else to do, and shocked by the dispersion of his beloved villagers and failure of his heroic duties, the swordsman was requested by Impa to met Nanas, a Sheikah scientist. A former ambulant shopkeeper, he’s known for leaving behind his former life to do researches about a miraculous Stone (which will be called the Sheikah Stone terminal in BOTW). This stone can memorize some new information which can also be manipulated into runes; they afflict the surrounding world with the connection of a smaller rudimentary tablet made with an extremely rare material (also known as a first version of the Sheikah Slate we’ll see in BOTW). As Link first stepped into Nanas’ home, the stone glowed in a light Nanas didn’t ever see before, and automatically installed an unusual  rune the scientist remembered not programming: when activated, Link could see passages otherwise invisible which could lead him directly to the monsters Ganon sent through all Hyrule. The first passage he found brought, in spite of himself, to the first beast he met in a deserted Redleaf village. After finally destroying it,Link could open another secret passage which led him… in the same place. But something at the same time seemed to have changed: some of the buildings, or new faces which couldn’t recognize Link at all. As the hero remembered, they were preparing themselves to host a festivity; however, when asked about the Fall Festival, the people looked at him strangely and replied they actually were excited about the upcoming visit of King Horatio Casimir Hyrule. Between the greeting crowd, the King recognised Link instantly, deeply surprising the hero: as the King would tell him in a second moment, the true reason he visited such a far village was a Prophecy that has been handed down for centuries. It told a green dressed Hero would come from another Hyrule’s Land of Autumn at the time in which a single Princess Zelda existed in all the three timelines and introduced the Fallen Timeline. Unlike the other two parallel Hyrules, the people living in this one were generally aware of not being the only one. Added to the fact the King didn’t have a distinctive legacy since the premature death of his wife, he became slowly worried about the right time for the prophecy to happen, so he decided to go against the court’s will, both relieved and even more worried to be right about his encounter. In fact, both Link and Ganon would have to come at the same time; in order to prevent a total destruction in his land, the King explicitly asked Link to bring him the Zelda from his dimension, defeat Ganon and finally reunite both the timelines he was in, along with the third one. Therefore, after hearing the King’s request, Link and Cice went back to the Kakariko village in his world and told Impa, Zelda and Nanas about the three Hyrule timelines; they started their main quest, in order to find the Master Sword again and rebuild Link’s native village. Princess Zelda Telene Hyrule: the Princess of Hyrule and first female born in the Royal Family of Hyrule after 100 years, therefore a descendant of Hylia. For this reason, added to the possibility of an incoming menace, her concerned parents took the drastic decision to rarely let the Princess go out of the castle; this norm had become harsher after the premature death of her father when she was still a child. The Queen of Hyrule, who wanted to show the daughter the variety of the reign’s population and tey to make feel Zelda less alone, decided to bring in her castle some exponents of every Hyrulean race; and the child became particularly close with the Fairy Cice. Aside of her isolation, she spent a rather peaceful childhood. While she was already prepared to act as a proper princess and was raised in a peaceful period, Zelda was still worried about her future both as a queen and as a descendant of Hylia, fearing to disappoint her loving yet severe mother. Even at the beginning of her eighteenth year of life she couldn’t do anything aside from a weak power of telepathic speech she gained when she was a toddler. In an apparently normal day of her life, an huge malevolent entity possessed her castle, imprisoning almost everyone in it: the Hyrule army tried to defend from the beast but were mortally defeated. While the Queen and her daughter tried to think about a solution, Zelda decided to send a telepathic help appeal to everyone in the kingdom which only a comatose Link received. With both hope in her heart and worry about his safety, she asked Cice , the smallest being in her castle, therefore the most likely to pass unnoticed to Ganon, to reach for the hero and to cure him with a mixture of a medicine she prepared herself and the fairy’s own healing powers. She couldn’t do anything but revolving her prayers to the Goddess Hylia and searching for the best weapons in the castle, in order to give Link the best aid she could offer. Usually described as calm, imaginative and compassionate, this Zelda often shows the tendency to be overly obsessed by negative thoughts and guilt feelings, especially after almost her entire court was killed by Ganon. Despite her first encounter with Link in the castle was hopeful, she will close herself after the accident and feel useless to have not helped enough to avoid that tragedy. Spending most of her day in her room, she often asked herself the reasons she was gifted by such a weak power and why she wasn’t as powerful as her ancestors, trying to give herself an answer she couldn’t completely satisfy. She saw Link’s presence as the concrete incarnation of her own failures  to her duties as both a Princess and a descendant of Hylia; therefore,when he came back to Kakariko Village from his interdimensional travel, she preferred avoided directly talking to him, preferring being mediated by Impa instead. However, she was aware about the vicious circle which her behaviour could to her and the few people she could trust, so she took the wise yet difficult choice to restart a temporary new life and get used to the simple village life. Despite she was still emotionally overwhelmed by her beloved mother’s grief, she was strong enough to become Nanas’ assistant; while she offered him to do some smaller works for him, she slowly became fascinated by his researches. She also befriended Tiusha, a cheerful Gerudo girl who kept staying in Kakariko village after finding her ideal voe in Nanas. Despite her firstly avoiding behaviour, Zelda became progressively closer to Link as well: she was deeply displeased about the lack of help she offered him, but eventually apologized to Link in tears and was happily forgiven, keeping evolving herself further. Positively influenced by both Nanas’ brilliant mind and constant effort in what he does, by Tiusha’s optimistic yet powerful behaviour and by Link’s selflessness and courage, she slowly became more free by her negative thoughts and influence of her mother visiting the lands around Kakariko village for some research requested by Nanas. In order to travel safely and to reassure a worried Impa about her wellbeing as both a surrogate child and as a Princess, Zelda also restarted practicing archery and learnt some sword basics. However, the moment Zelda will remember the most was when another emotional crisis came: the sudden miss of her mother’s love and role model rapidly interrupted her slowly healing process. This time, however, something changed; her heart was instilled with her first wish, a spark of hope in her previously pessimistic mind-set: to visit the Spring of Power, the Spring of Courage and, lastly, the Spring of Wisdom. She was insecure about her mastery with the weapons, so she asked Link, who already had to go there in order to find the Master Sword, if he could escort her. When the green dressed hero accepted, they prepared themselves and left the village despite Nanas, Cice and Impa’s doubts. Acting as the third and last guide in the game, after Cice and Tiusha, her bond with Link intensified to the point of revealing him her past and her feelings when the swordsman escorted her and protected her from the monsters. When they arrived to the Spring of Power and defeated Ganon together, Zelda started to slowly regain Hylia’s powers, fully obtaining them as she arrived to the Spring of Wisdom. As she would tell Link and Cice, when she prayed at each Spring, she internally reached up a state of ecstasy and felt surrounded by a comforting light Link would only catch a small grasp of; she also heard the reassuring words of her mother, who told her she was proud of her progress and that she would be a great Queen to Hyrule . Lastly she saw a beautiful and mysterious woman who kissed her right hand without saying anything. Back in her world, a Triforce jewel in her gown appeared. She felt for the first time in full peace with herself, as she felt her telepathy power improving and other abilities unlocking. As she progressively gained her powers, her help was crucial during in the resolution of the last few dungeons, and her intervention (as King Horatio hoped) was crucial to reunite each Hyrule into an united big reign. Along with Tiusha, Cice and Nanas’ technology,she participated in the final battle with a dimension-merged Ganon, the most dangerous Hyrule ever witnessed; her godly abilities,united with Link’s skills and Master Sword (merged from the three dimensions by Hyrule’s unification) managed to defeat and seal it.   This incarnation of the dimension-merged Ganon, however, lasted for 500 years until it became more intelligent and powerful: its freeing became the Calamity Ganon whose legend was narrated in Breath of the Wild. At the end of the adventure, despite facing up a first politically difficult period, Zelda was crowned as Hyrule’s Queen and her wisdom and diplomacy were loved by her subjects; it’s hinted in the game’s credits she visited the Redleaf village to speak again with a Link who implicitly accepted to marry her. Their children’s progenie after 10.500 years will give the birth to King Rhoam,and then to the Zelda of Breath of the Wild. Nanas’ discoveries and research, already known and developed by a small elite of Sheikah people Link would meet into his journey, were made famous by Zelda’s narration of the events: even more people were interested in his technology and his very first uses of the terminals and the Sheikah tablet, to the point they developed them for more uses, just as the future Sheikah Towers and Shrines. King Horatius from the Fallen Timeline abdicated the throne in favour of the owner of the Triforce and willingly dedicated himself to help the now Queen Zelda as her political adviser. Thanks to their resourceful knowledge about politics, as well as Hyrule’s cultures and timelines, their governing guidelines were useful to keep the Reign in peace for 500 years. Thank you a lot for reading! I hope you’ll like it:3

So… I happened to be more into Zelda.

After my initial skepticism due to its high praise from both critique and pubblic, I finally brought Breath of the wild, which it’s revealed to be the best decision I did in a while: I loved that post-apocalyptic setting, that ruins, the charm of villages and characters blended with a fun gameplay and the fitting music! *v*

I also loved the characters and the sparse storytelling, and even the Zelda herself, to which I never really was a fan due to her kinda aggressive behavior and unfitting character design, she has still a lot of interesting and relatable parts! I especially like how she struggles to do her duties and her difficult relationship with her father. I didn’t like however, how fastly and suddenly she got her powers.

I’m looking forward to buy even more game from this saga, despite I still like Mario and Pikmin better, maybe starting from Skyward Sword, which has such an intriguing plot.