#and what if I say he likes to challenge himself by making it creepier each time

[emmaishere2243]

So someone gave me a doodle idea for Remus working on an art project and I got a silly idea

Sometimes in the middle of the night, my brain likes to think of a super creepy face at the end of my bed and freak me out, so maybe he likes to paint stuff like that in his spare time

But yknow how artists will sometimes mimick the expression of what they’re drawing?

Warning for faces that might be disturbing, meant to look like an analog horror type face

[thecagedsong]

Forgotten Light: Chapter 3: Staged

A/N: Here’s the next one. I hope you like it. Don’t hate me. I’m trying to handle these themes with respect while still remaining in character. 

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Chapter 3: Staged

Kendra woke up with a start, blinking at her surroundings. She was lying in the center of a bed, big and round, with nice sheets, still in her dirty clothes. Bad for the sheets, good for her. Except for a heavy necklace, that was new. She cast it onto the bed beside her. Better safe than sorry.

Itching, icy cold started to crawl into the blankets with her. She pulled the covers over herself and hunkered down, trying to remember.

The first thing she remembered was the door. Unlocking it had done something to her memories. Then Ronodin showed up, and he spent the time arguing with Seth, who claimed to be her brother. They were trying to get the shiny stone.

Was she a jewel thief?

 No, Humbuggle, the dwarf guy, probably actually a demon, kept going on about a contest. Okay, she, her brother, and Ronodin were all in a contest for the shiny rock. So was the gold guy, who was also a dragon? He seemed perfectly human to her, if ridiculously loud. Maybe he was part of a gang called ‘the dragons’? But she did know that dragons could take human form.

Why did she know that? When did she learn it? She was sure of the information, like she was sure that the sky was blue, even if she hadn’t seen the sky since her memory was wiped. She also knew that knowledge about dragons wasn’t common information. But she couldn’t imagine herself reading that information, or seeing it happen, or someone telling it to her. She just knew.

What did she know about amnesia? Two main kinds: can’t recall the past, and can’t make new memories in the future. She had the first kind, thank goodness, a single reset. Ronodin, Seth, Celebrant, and Humbuggle all seemed to accept that she had given up her memories voluntarily, and it was an enchantment. They came in at different times and didn’t seem to like each other, so all of them agreeing on something probably meant it was true.

It had only been her and Seth, after she gave up her memory, so she had probably done it so that her brother wouldn’t have to. At least she was a good sister, whoever else she had been.

Kendra’s teeth started to chatter, the cold coming despite her blankets. They all seemed to agree on her name, so that was also probably true.

The cold was sinking in now, brushing her skin, her bones.

She had to get somewhere warmer, or she’d die before she figured out what was going on. Kendra poked her head out of the cocoon she had made, eyeing the door. It was a heavy black thing, with spiraling designs. Black and red seemed to be the motif of this place. She was wrapped in crimson sheets, there was a desk with a picture of an island hanging above it. A vanity. A door that opened to a bathroom, a closed closet. No windows.

Overall, just as unfamiliar as the bedroom in the castle that Humbuggle sent her to. She hoped this wasn’t her real home, she had a major heating problem.

The big black door creaked open, and Kendra tightened her grip on her blankets.

“Love, you’re awake,” Ronodin said, eyes softening as he saw her. Blue sconces lit up the room, turning the light colder as he walked in.

“You keep calling me that, but my brother said I was in love with your cousin and not to trust you,” Kendra said.

Ronodin sighed, looking down, “It’s a long story. I’ll explain it to you now that we have time. Can I at least help you get warmed up?”

Kendra glared suspiciously, forcing her teeth to keep from chattering.

“All I’m going to do is put this necklace on you,” he said, picking up the necklace she had tossed aside when she woke up. It was a ruby pendant, set in silver. “Its magic, it will help you with the unnatural cold. Then you can stay wrapped up, I’ll sit at the desk, and answer all your questions.” His voice was pleading, “Please let me help you first.”

It was cold enough that she wasn’t going anywhere. The worst that could happen was the pendant was cursed, but if he wasn’t telling the truth about it warming her, she’d freeze to death anyway. She knew she could remove it at least.

“Fine,” she huffed, and her breath condensed in front of her face.

Ronodin looked relieved, and she immediately felt bad. Seth had said that Ronodin was lying, and she was in love with his cousin. That meant they still had a relationship, in both versions of the story. It probably hurt him to have her treat him like a stranger, no matter who was telling the truth.

Because Kendra was swaddled in the middle of the circle bed, Ronodin had to kneel on the bed to put it on her. He did every action slowly, trying not to scare her. As the necklace settled, his fingers barely brushed her collar bone in a way that was somehow extremely intimate.

It made her shiver, and when she stopped, she realized it was indeed from the touch, because she wasn’t cold anymore. He scooted off the bed and took the chair, just like he promised. She let the blankets around her relax a bit. The necklace left her perfectly comfortable either way.

“Where do you want to start, Darling?” Ronodin asked. “You trust the word of your brother; do you remember him?”

Kendra shook her head. “No, but the four of you disliked each other back there. You were in competition, that means that if you four agreed on something, it was most likely true. I was alone with him, and he tried to protect me, so I was on the same side as my brother. All of you called me his sister, and you all agreed that I gave up my memory voluntarily. I hope that’s something I would do for my brother, so those two facts check out.”

“You really are clever,” he said, propping his elbow on the desk and staring at her, “You have always been modest about it, but I bet no one else would have been able to pull together so many things in the minutes after loosing their memory completely. What else do you know, so I know where to start?”

“Not much,” she admitted with a blush, “We were part of a competition. I’m under an enchantment that is blocking my memory. I probably have a boyfriend. Celebrant doesn’t like me. Humbuggle is annoying and rigged the contest. The only real prize was amnesia. We freed a bunch of people that were cursed inside the castle. And I have some kind of magic sight. Oh, and I was taken from wherever Humbuggle sent me by this scary puppet thing, and got knocked out along the way.” Wait, that was right. The storm, her brother shouting, being carried, getting knocked out somewhere along the way.

Ending up here.

Kendra narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Ronodin.

Ronodin sighed, “Not a lot to work with, but a good base of things I don’t have to convince you about. First thing you should know is that you begged to come here. No kidnapping involved.”

Kendra raised her eyebrow, “Really now, cause that felt a whole lot like kidnapping.”

“You didn’t count on your own amnesia when you wrote the plan,” he said drily, “but you wanted it to look like a kidnapping.”

“That’s convenient for a kidnapper to say.”

“I can prove it,” he said with a smile. His dark tousled hair fell into his eyes as he leaned forward with a grin.

“Let’s see it then,” she challenged folding her arms.

“The puppet’s name is Mendigo. He only follows your orders. You told him to bring you right to this room, through a magic barrel you hid for exactly this plan. Say his name, he’ll come when you call.”

“Mendigo?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. Wood jangled beside her bed, making her jump away. Her hand jumped to her chest, trying to calm her heart. The puppet had been standing in the room, beside the head of her bed. She hadn’t looked there. Or maybe she had thought it was just a coat rack in the dim light, she hadn’t gotten a good look at it during the kidnapping either. The puppet was facing her, a smile painted onto its block head. It was held together with golden hooks, and was much creepier than anything else she had seen so far. Including the turning-to-ashes bit with the stone.

Ronodin started laughing.

“I’m sorry, but you should have seen your face!”

“Not funny,” she huffed, folding her arms.

“It was a little funny,” Ronodin said, “He only obeys you, he’s protected you, and he makes you jump when he moves. Tell him to do something simple.”

“Mendigo, go, um, close the door.” The puppet did exactly what she said.

“Now I’m going to tell him to come back,” Ronodin said, “Watch. Mendigo? Pull Kendra’s hair.”

Kendra glared at him, but the puppet didn’t move. It was a bit too easy. What if the puppet was really under Ronodin’s orders, and he told the puppet to only obey her for this demonstration? The puppet couldn’t exactly vouch for himself. She had to figure out what control Ronodin had over it, and she had to do it before they went any farther. It was the difference between sure kidnapper and maybe boyfriend.

“Mendigo, choke Ronodin.”

The puppet surged forward, catching Ronodin in a headlock. He started gasping, and Mendigo pulled tighter.

“Stop!” she yelled, hands up, “Mendigo stop! Let him go.” Ronodin collapsed, missing the chair and slumping to the floor. She scrambled to the edge of the bed to see him cough in a lungful of air.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.”

He rubbed his throat, “I did not expect that from you,” he said, voice raspy, “Hell, that hurt.”

“Are you going to be alright?”

He nodded, “It wasn’t deadly, so I’ll live. I’m just glad you didn’t test your control by asking him to snap my neck. Believe me yet that you’re the only one who controls him?”

She nodded, face red over her stupid test. “I really am sorry. I thought for sure you were the one he was taking orders from.”

He sat back in the desk chair, but she didn’t put herself back in her blankets, clearly he was telling the truth. And he was kind of at her mercy with Mendigo at her control. No real reason to be defensive.

He started chuckling, “I’m sorry,” he said, still rubbing his throat, “But that was so much more extreme a command than I was expecting.” His dark eyes turned appreciative, “I love it when you’re fierce.”

There was far too much in those words, that gaze, and she didn’t understand exactly what it implied, but it made her flush.

“How did I end up with a creepy magical puppet under my command?” she asked, looking at Mendigo to avoid his gaze.

“I believe you got it off a witch you defeated when you were thirteen,” he said. She had been trying to ignore it, but it needed to be acknowledged that Ronodin was hot. Dark hair, pale skin, chiseled features. Piercing black eyes with folded eyelids common to those of Asian descent. Korean, if she had to guess. He dressed in a dark robe with vibrant embroidery around the collar and sleeves, and wore it with confidence. His voice was ridiculously easy to listen to, even after being strangled. Actually, his voice added a little, gruff edge to it, the little imperfection improving it.

If she was going to keep her wits and figure out who she was and where her memories were, she could not afford to be dazzled by him.

“Right,” she said, blushing, “And how did I defeat a witch? Magic eyes?”

“Innocence,” he said, “That has real power in our world, and when you were thirteen, you kept all the rules, didn’t hurt anyone, and the witch couldn’t touch you. You asked for help from the Fairy Queen, and your innocence made her grant it, for the first time in hundreds of years. She made you something called Fairy Kind.”

“And Fairy Kind have magic eyes?” she scoffed. “You do realize how ridiculous this sounds.”

“Hmm, that knowledge must be too specific to you, you can’t retrieve it around the block,” Ronodin said, looking her up and down, “You don’t really have magic eyes. At least, no more magic than mine. You can see the light of fairy magic. It’s never really dark for you, because you’re always emitting your own light, wherever you go. But it’s actually really bright for down here, you’re kind of blinding me. Can you turn it down?”

“Oh, uh,” Kendra blushed, “I don’t know how.”

“Something else you’re going to have to relearn,” Ronodin sighed, “Okay. For the sake of my eyes, I’m going to teach you how to dim it like you used to. Ready?”

“Uh, okay,” Kendra said.

“You have this light, and you can only see it reflecting off everything else,” Ronodin explained, “That’s the normal state. But it’s awfully annoying for anyone trying to talk to you, and can make it hard for you to sleep. Imagine you’re holding a candle. The candle is the power inside of you.”

“I don’t know what the power inside me feels like,” she said. “I don’t feel powerful.”

“It’s part of your essence, of who you are,” he explained gently, “It’s not connected to memory, but the things about you that memories can never change. I’m going to turn off the lights, so you can see if its working. It’s okay, this is how we did it the first time.”

“Okay,” she said. He made the blue flames in the sconces vanish, but the room didn’t really dim. She tried to feel for her ‘essence’, but that was really hard when she didn’t know what that looked like. Was she a warm person? An angry and combative person? Did she like music? Which ones?

“You’re spiraling,” Ronodin said, “You don’t have to think about what you don’t know, focus on what you do. Focus on the feelings in your heart. You are kind, you gave up your memories for your brother. You take charge, like you did when telling off a dismissive Celebrant and bringing yourself here. Focus on where your strength came from in those situations, what takes over when there’s nothing else you can give. You have nothing else to give right now, what is guiding you?”

Kendra focused inward, and she thought she felt it. Who she was, the core of herself, it felt warm and bright inside her chest, behind her heart. She wouldn’t have ever found it if someone hadn’t told her to look, but she felt herself there.

“I think I have it.”

“Okay, imagine you’re holding that core of yourself in your hand. It’s a candle, burning, giving off light and energy.”

She did as he asked, and nodded when she thought she had it several minutes later.

“You’re going to pull that close, and cover it with your hand. Not putting it out, just dimming it. Fingers blocking the light, like you would a candle.”

Kendra blinked, “You want me to dim my soul?”

He shook his head, “It’s not your soul, it’s the expression of your magic entwined with your essence. And you’re just covering it up a little to make things more bearable. You’re taking your heart from your sleeve and putting it back in your chest for a little while.”

The room slowly dimmed as she worked through the imagery. It didn’t become completely dark, but it went from a dimly lit room to a room with a small nightlight.

“Is this better? I don’t think I can make it any dimmer,” Kendra said, brow creased

“Wonderful,” he said. And with her dimmer light, she could barely make out the white of his teeth.

“How do you know all this?”

He relit the sconces with his own magic. And he looked different in the blue light that didn’t mix with her own. More…glacial.

“Kendra, I’m your fiancé. I know this because I taught you this before.”

[frauleinjustice]

Birthday Present for Ray: Oumota!!

A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR MY CATTO RAY @detectiveseapancake !!! 🎉 🍰 I wanted to surprise him with some oumota fluff this time~! I hope that you will love it lots and enjoy it once u read it Ray, and that it can make for a great gift for you!

Summary: Kaito was egged on by Kokichi, as per usual; this time, to brave through a horror movie as they have an impromptu sleepover over at Kaito’s dorm room. Of course, Kaito still screamed his lungs out, which made for very entertaining reactions for the surpeme leader to see. After teasing him about it, Kaito starts chasing Kokichi around the room, which leads to him glomping the boy down on the bed, and, from there: soft, intimate moments between the two, as they secretly harbor feelings for one another...

So yeah, I wanted to go for something silly, but soft and cute! And to try my hand at writing some oumota cause I don’t believe I have before, nor as Kaito at least as like... one of the main characters in a one-shot: so this was honestly really fun to write and that it’ll put a smile on your face, Ray! You always deserve to have one... ilu~!  and once more, I hope you’ll enjoy... ❤️ and if anyone else gives this a read, thank you! May you enjoy, too!!

A sleepover with Kokichi, watching a horror movie: never the sequence of events Kaito Momota expected. Earlier that day, Kokichi had been egging him on, teasing him about the fact that he ‘wouldn’t have the balls’ to sit through a horror movie in its entirety. Kaito, being the very hardheaded man that he is, took the bait as always, accepted his challenge. Granted, the ‘sleepover’ part was slyly slipped in by Kokichi, who practically invited himself to stay over in Kaito’s dorm room for the night. Kaito let it slide, though: since he oddly... didn’t mind the thought of Kokichi spending the night over in his dorm room; but he still regretted the stupid decision to watch a horror movie, though. ‘It’s said to be so scary, you’ll want to sleep with the light on for days!!!’ So declared the supreme leader, though Kaito hopes to god he was just lying.

Now here he was, trying not to look as distressed as he is as Kokichi starts setting up the DVD player. He had even brought snacks, popcorn, and drinks to Kaito’s room once he arrived. He had already arrived in his pajamas, which was a simple loose white t shirt and checkerboard pajama pants. His hair looked messier as usual... and while Kaito did tease that he looks more like a disheveled rat... he’d never admit that, for a second... he found him kind of cute. Kaito himself was wearing a NASA tank shirt with black loungepants. His hair wasn’t even up in his usual style, wearing it down. It wasn’t often Kokichi had seen it like that. He teased in turn that Kaito looked like a nerd, but: he thinks he actually looks really attractive with his hair down, too. But just like Kaito: Kokichi would die before he’d ever admit that.

“It’s starting, Momota-chaaan...”  Ominously muses Kokichi with a sneery smile, a finger up to his lips. “And like I told you before; if you even think of trying to fly out of this room... I’ll strap you to a chair and torture you!” Which was clearly a lie, but he really wouldn’t allow Kaito to chicken out.

Clicking his tongue, Kaito rests his arms on the back of his head while his back leans against  the side of his bed. “Whatever. I told you I’m not gonna do that! No stupid horror movie can faze the luminary of the stars!” Which he wish he could’ve said with more confidence, if not for the slight hesitation in his voice giving it away. Even if it was obvious as day to literally everyone, Kaito still refuses to admit how terrified he is of paranormal things. He just hopes he seriously won’t have the urge to fly out of the room, or he’d never be able to live it down.

“Yeahhh, whatever you say.” Once the movie began, the two grew silent. The beginning of the movie starts off normal, nothing bad or eventful happening quite yet. Even then, Kaito couldn’t say he was exactly relaxed: he’s just anticipating the moment where things go south real fast. And unfortunately for him: barely 30 minutes into the movie and things were already starting to get much more creepier and ominous. A lightly shaking hand goes to shovel more popcorn into his mouth, bracing himself for what he’s sure will be an eventual jumpscare any moment. As he was snacking on his konpeito and sipping his panta, Kokichi occasionally glanced over at him to read his expressions, snickering to himself. He just knows he’s going to get some very great and funny ones. In fact, he slowly brings wriggling fingers closer to Kaito’s waist, the unsuspecting man not even paying attention to him as he was so focused on mentally preparing himself to get scared. One his hands were close enough, Kokichi firmly clasps his sides while yelling out a sharp: “HAH!!”

“GGHGHKK-?!” Kaito jumped so badly in his spot that some of the popcorn flew out of the bucket, most of it hitting the floor. "Wh-What?! Wh-OUMA!" Snarling, he slams the popcorn bucket down on the table. "Don't fucking DO that, you little cu-" But seconds later, the actual jumpscare in the movie happens, the face of a scary looking ghost suddenly popping onto the screen with a screeching wail. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"

"PFFTT, hahaha!!!" Kokichi starts bursting out laughing, nearly choking on his panta as he had to quickly stop drinking it. "H-Heheh, aww, did the Big Cweepy Ghost scaaare you, Momo-cha-HURK!" His wheezing laughter was cut off by bigger arms suddenly wrapping around his waist and squeezing the smaller boy tightly, nearly squeezing the oxygen out of him. "M-Momota....cha..?!"

"IT'S THE SPIRIT OF THE VENGEFUL LITTLE GIIIIIIRL!!!" And squeezes Kokichi even tighter, not even noticing he had grabbed him yet.

A choked gasp, he starts trying to pull Kaito off of him, wheezing out: LET ME GO, YOU IDIOT!"

"Ah-" Now realizing he had been clinging onto Kokichi. He instantly lets go of him, huffing as he rubs the back of his head an embarrassed blush on his face. "S...Sorry..."

"Geez..." Huffs Kokichi with a childish pout. He quickly darts his face away to hide the light tinge of pink on it. While he didn't appreciate having his lungs practically squeezed out; the fact that Kaito would instinctively cling onto even him, made him oddly happy inside... As the movie progressed, Kaito tried to endure the scarier scenes, sometimes being able to stifle a scream, but most of the time still screaming his lungs out. He had Kokichi continue to laugh so hard, tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, albeit at the cost of being clung onto very tightly at times. "Nishishi, Momo-chan looks like he's gonna pee his pants!"

"N-No I'm fucking NOT-GYAAAAAAH!!" A jumpscare from a creepy haunted doll made him cup Kokichi's hand, squeezing it very tightly. "That laugh is so damn creepy!!!"

Kokichi winced a bit from how tightly he squeezed his hand, chortling as an amused smile widened on his face. "Aww, does Momota-chan want me to protect hiiim~?"

Giving a flustered grumble, Kaito instantly snatches his hand away. "G-Go fuck yourself!!"

"Fuck me yourself, coward!"

"Shut upppp!!"

 Despite the several near heart attacks he had, Kaito surprisingly made no attempts to fly out of the room. It honestly impressed Kokichi, who was highly expecting him to do so at some point. Funny as it would’ve been to see him do so... he admittedly would’ve been disappointed. The dare he gave Kaito aside... he really did want to have a sleepover with him. Something about Kaito truly just interested the supreme leader. While he still did find him a big, loud idiot a lot of the time; he was so fun to tease, and always went along with Kokichi’s antics, even if it because he was easily egged on most of the time. When they have their petty arguments, Kaito’s chasing him down a hall or even the rare times they actually just talk casually without being at each other’s throats: Kokichi finds it fun. Maybe that’s why he found himself being drawn to Kaito, wanting to find excuses to spend alone time with him. The astronaut made him giddy in a way most others couldn’t.

Eventually, the movie finally comes to an end. Kokichi starts applauding as if it was the best movie he’s ever seen. “Hooraaay! What a great movie that was! Simply moving! Right, Momota-chan?”

“Uuuuugghghhhhhhhhh.....” Meanwhile, Kaito looks as pale as the ghosts in the film, slumped against the edge of the bed with a grim look on his face. It was a shock to even himself that he didn’t damage all his vocal chords from how much he screamed, now even more grateful Kokichi was going to sleep over tonight: there was no way he’d be able to get some sleep otherwise... though the fact Kokichi being here with him eases his paranoia a bit, was honestly embarrassing. “Simply moving”, my ass...” He groans, voice sounding noticeably hoarse. “But h.....ha! Didn’t I tell you? I wasn’t going to run out of the room: that movie was nothing! I only pretended to be as “scared” as I actually was-WASN’T!” He quickly ‘corrects’ himself as he points a finger at Kokichi in declaration.

“...............”

“D-Don’t look at me like that! I still won the damn challenge, didn’t I?!”

“Mmmn... I guess so. How boring... I was so waiting for you to fly out of that door, so I could torture you..” He sighs, looking so dissatisfied.. until a smile instantly lights back up on his face. “But that’s a lie! I truly would have been disappointed if you did run out the room. I guess even Momota-chan can break my expectations every once in a while, hmm?”

“Heh... is that so? Are you finally admitting that you find me cool?” Quips Kaito with a playfully arrogant smirk on his face as he throws his arm around Kokichi’s shoulders. “You always talking shit, thinking you alllways have me figured out... but I’m not as easy as you think I am! Try harder next time.”

Kokichi was actually stunned for a moment. Kaito, who usually just gets irritated with him: looked not only amused by what he said, but even had the nerve to playfully tease him back with that cocky smirk on his face. “Wh... h-hmph!! Momo-chan’s getting awfully cocky, isn’t he?!” He huffs, balling his fists as a notable blush creeps onto his cheeks. “Geez! After I actually bothered to say something nice about you for once.”

"Heheh...” Kaito noticed the blush on Kokichi’s face this time: cute, he thinks to himself. It felt nice to be the one to tease the other for once, when it was usually the other way around. Kaito didn’t know why he suddenly found himself wanting to do that more often: to seep reactions out of the supreme leader that he normally doesn’t show. Just like how Kokichi found himself having fun with Kaito... deep down, Kaito felt the same with the supreme leader. While he still found him to be an ‘irritating little shit’.... it was starting to be a fond way, now.

Wanting to wipe that smirk off Kaito’s face, and to hide his own flustered one: Kokichi suddenly snakes his hands into Kaito’s shirt to lightly tickle his sides. “Coochy coooo~!”

“H-Heheeeek-?!” Kaito jumps from the ticklish feel of fingers dancing along his bare skin. He instantly clasps a hand over his mouth as he scurries away from the boy, cheeks red in embarrassment from the noise he emitted. “Y-You motherfu-!”

“Nishishi! Ehhh, what did I dooo? What a cute noise you made just now, Momo-chan~!” He giggles, being finding himself suddenly dodging a pillow that was thrown at him. “Oop! Haha, missed meeee!”

“You little-!!” And with that, Kaito started to chase Kokichi around the room, the shorter boy laughing heartily as he avoids being grabbed by the other at each attempt.

“Catch me, catch meee~!”

“I’ll get ya, Ouma!!” And yet; Kaito wasn’t even trying to hide the smile that widens on his face, looking as if he’s having the time of his life trying to chase the boy down in the small room. Unlike when he usually chased him, it was completely in a playful sense, finding himself laughing along with Kokichi as he tried reaching for the boy. Kokichi had even jumped on top of the bed, making mocking expressions at Kaito as he taunts him.

“Over here, over here~!” And just as he was about to hop right off the bed when Kaito came closer-”Ah-!” Kokichi lost his balance, landing on his butt on the bed.

“Gotcha-!” Kaito took that perfect opportunity to literally lunge at and pin the boy down onto the bed. While he made sure not to grip his wrists too tightly, he still had a slightly firm hold on him as he smirks down at the boy triumphantly. “Hah! You were saying, Ouma?”

“..............” But instead of pouting, whining, or acting like a sore loser: Kokichi just.... stares up at him wide-eyed. Here he was, pinned down to the bed by Kaito. Purple eyes looking up at similar purple ones, faces close to each other. “Ahh....”

“?” Oblivious to his unusually quiet reaction, Kaito’s eyebrows furrow in confusion as he tilts his head. “...What? What’s with up with y...ah.” But once he registers the position that they are in, now he understands. “U...Uhhh....”

“M....M-Momo-chan....” Cheeks turn a dark shade of red as he feels unable to look away from the boy, eyes half-lidded. He purses his lips, feeling his heart pounding hard in his chest. "A-Are you gonna... lean down and kiss me, now? Like in those cheesy shoujo mangas...? A-Ahh, I’m not mentally prepared...” He whines, shyly darting his eyes away. And just as it looks as if he was being serious... “...SIIIIIIIIIIIKE!” A shit-eating grin instantly widens on his face, cackling as he looks back at him. “How was my ‘hopeless romantic shoujo girl’ impression, hmm? Did you fall for it, did you fall for it?!”

“Wha-wha.....wh....” Kaito’s own heart was pounding at the major shift of the mood so quickly. Thinking that Kokichi was being serious for a moment- “...Huh.” And then just stares at him when he pulled that ‘it was a joke!’ card at the last minute. “.....A....A-As if.....” Clenching his teeth, now his face was really red as he instantly flies off of the boy, crossing his arms as he turns his head away. “A-As if anyone w-w-would wanna kiss YOU! O-Of course I wasn’t going to do that!!!”

“Nishishi...~!” Despite his little act, the blush on his face was certainly real. And the rapid pounding of his heart at that very moment, too. “Mmnn that’s because Momota-chan wouldn’t dare kiss me.”

“Huh?!” Kaito instantly looks back his way, balling his fist as he retaliates: “You callin’ me a coward?! I so could if I wanted to!”

“Ohhh?” A sharp inhale, Kokichi dares to say: “Then do it: I dare you.”

“.....!” Kaito Momota was one who was very easily baited into doing dares whenever he felt himself being mocked or taunted; but even he’d have more than enough common sense than to do something as intimate as kissing someone just because they egged him on. If he didn’t like the person or straight up would not feel comfortable or okay with kissing them, he’d refuse to do so, not caring if it’d seemed he was ‘chickening out.’ And yet, with Kokichi... he didn’t want to say ‘no.’ In a way, it was as if he wanted to use stubborn tendencies as an excuse to not back down. Why was that, he wonders...? Or maybe the answer wasn’t an confusing as he likes to think it is. Gulping, Kaito finally gives him a response... in the form of a confident nod. “F-Fine. I’ll show you that Kaito Momota ain’t no chicken!”

“.....” For a second, genuine surprise showed on Kokichi’s face. He absolutely did not expect Kaito to actually go through with it. Was it only because he dared him? Would Kaito do this with just anyone if they taunted him like Kokichi did? He didn’t want to think about that, burying the self-doubt that he may not be a special exception. No, he wanted to think he was: that only he would be someone Kaito was willing to kiss. “...Well?” Smiling, Kokichi crawls closer to him. “I’m waitiiiing~!”

Despite agreeing to do this, Kaito honestly couldn’t believe this was actually happening. One moment, they were watching a moment together; and now, he was about to kiss the supreme leader. For some reason, an unfamiliar kind of nervousness started to bubble up in him. Why was he so nervous, he thinks to himself. It’s just a kiss! Just give him one kiss and it’s over with: but he wasn’t thinking like that. Rather... he didn’t want to mess this up. Didn’t want to give him a half-assed kiss, as it’d have no feeling to it. Quickly shaking his head of such ‘sappy’ thoughts, a hand slowly goes to cup the other’s chin. “Y...You’re gonna get a kiss from the Luminary of the Stars, himself! You’d better feel lucky!” He declares, trying to joke around to hopefully shake off some of the nervousness and rapid pounding of his heart.

His heart thumps hard in his chest when Kaito cups his chin like that. He’s almost happy he made that ridiculous declaration, chortling to help distract himself from how nervous he was. “Whatever you say, Momota-chan. Now come onnn....” He impatiently whines as he closes his eyes. “Do it alreadyyyy....”

“Alright, alright...” Taking a deep exhale, Kaito starts to lean his face in more. Wriggling lips are forced to keep steady as their faces become closer and closer. He can hear the soft breathing of the other, their bangs brushing against each other’s. With lips so close, they are barely brushing together... if he leans in any closer, their lips will surely meet. Kokichi could also feel just how much closer Kaito was, stifling a muffled whine. Any minute, their lips were going to meet. He was going to be kissed by Kaito... the already lack of patience was making the anticipation kill him, almost tempted to whine to him again to hurry up... until he finally feels lips softly press against his.

“Mmn...” Kokichi feels his heart flutter in his chest, slowly processing this very moment. He jokingly expected a rough or sloppy kiss, considering it was Kaito; and yet, it felt so soft, so gentle... as if Kaito wanted to make sure he was careful. A quiet hum vibrating through him, Kokichi already found himself indulging in the nice feeling of his lips, pressing his own against Kaito’s more firmly, ever so slightly.

Kaito also found himself loving the feeling of Kokichi’s soft lips... the hand he was using to cup Kokichi’s chin, he finds himself stroking it gently with his thumb. He felt Kokichi press his lips firmer against his, making a quiet sigh leave him as he dares to do the same. Even if he did this under the excuse of being ‘dared’ to... he didn’t want it to end. He wanted to kiss him for as long as he could before it would have to end. And once it did, when he eventually has to pull away so they could breathe... their heated faces are still so close.

“M...Momo-chan...” His voice is barely above a whisper. As much as he wanted to tease him about the fact that he definitely used this dare as an excuse to kiss him... right now, he just wanted to indulge in that feeling again. So before he knew it, arms would go to link around Kaito’s neck as he nestles himself in his lap. Nuzzling their foreheads together, he utters: “....One more...”

Maybe it was the heat of the moment; or maybe it was the boy not caring to deny how badly he truly was crushing on the supreme leader, with the other secretly returning those feelings... that Kaito doesn’t have to think twice about it. Arms going to immediately wrap around the smaller boy’s waist, he nods and gives a simple: “Yeah...” Before he leans in once more, Kokichi meeting him halfway as they close the distance in a kiss. One that’s still soft, but even firmer as they both quickly deepen it. Soft sighs and hums emit from them, Kokichi occasionally giving Kaito’s lips quick pecks in between the kiss. It makes a low, content hum seep from Kaito, who presses deeper and slower pecks to Kokichi’s lips in turn.

And even once that kiss is over, they still did not want to stop: but they did need to catch their breath, and the thought of their kisses growing even more passionate was a bit much for them to handle right now, when their hearts already felt like they could burst out of their chests. So simply giving each one last quick peck, they break away from the kisses for good. “N...Nishishi....” He breathes out a soft giggle in between pants. “Momo-chan’s.... not so bad to kiss. And that isn’t a lie...”

“Y...Y-Yeah, well: you’re not so bad yourself, Ouma...” He also utters in between deep pants. His face felt like it was on fire, only having a bit of solace when seeing how deeply red Kokichi’s own face was. “Can’t believe I really just... fucking kissed you because you taunted me. And that... I wanted to do it again: on my own will. U-Ugh....just saying this is embarrassing...”  

“Hehehe.... Momo-chan’s such a sap...” Though he doesn’t say it in a mocking tone; rather a fond one as he suddenly leans back real far, so that he brings Kaito down with him as they’re now plopped down on the bed.

“Who you callin’ a sap-oh...!” He let out a small yelp in surprise when Kokichi brings them both down, rolling his eyes with a chortle as he wildly ruffles his hair. “Lil shit...” He playfully quips with just as much fondness in his tone, giving Kokichi a warm smile: one that held a special kind of warmth he normally doesn’t give others.

Giggling at the hair ruffles and his playful remark, Kokichi gives Kaito a beaming smile in return. “Momo-chan~!” Oh how he adored that smile... and his beloved astronaut. He rolls right into Kaito’s arms, smaller arms wrapping Kaito as he buries his face into his chest.

“Woah!” He blinks in surprise from the sudden cuddly embrace, trying to stifle a chuckle when feeling Kokichi nuzzle his face into his chest. “You havin’ fun down there?” Not that Kaito minds this at all, surprisingly enough. In fact, one arm would go to wrap around Kokichi’s waist, while his other hand rests on top of his head, patting it softly. “You know, Ouma... I know I always talk a lot of shit to you, too, but... you’re actually not so bad. I don’t, uh... hate you, or anything: is what I’m trying to say. I never did, really.”

A happy hum at the head pats, a soft gasp leaves his lips when he hears him say that. “Momota-chan...” He wasn’t so bad... he never actually hated him. Something about that... made Kokichi feel warm inside. An indescribable amount of happiness was bubbling up in him, hoping that his face wasn’t too visible as the widest, genuinely happiest smile appears on Kokichi’s face as he still keeps it buried partially in Kaito’s chest. He was always going to remember those words. “That’s so cheesy....nishishi... but...” A shaky exhale, Kokichi moves his head back just enough to look up at Kaito. There’s a tinge of warmth to that bright and happy smile still on his face. “...It makes me happy to hear that. And I guess I...never hated you, either. ....I could never grow to hate my beloved Momo-chan, anyway...”

“...!” His eyes widen. “Your....beloved...?” No one’s ever called him their beloved before.... and hearing that Kokichi also never hated him-nor could he-makes a flustered whine leave him. “Th-The hell, man... you’ll kill me if you say shit like that so straight-forwardly. I mean, well- not that I’m complaining: I’m glad... to hear that, too. And I don’t....mind....being called that....b-but only if it’s just us around, okay! I’d never live it down if Shuichi or Harumaki heard you calling me that!!”

Snickering, Kokichi gives him a reassuring nod. “O-kaaaaay! Whatever helps my beloved feel more comfortable~!” Being called it again makes Kaito’s heart giddily beat in his chest. He’d be far too embarrassed to ever such intimate words himself, but he’s sure that Kokichi knows that he thinks of him as his beloved supreme leader, too.

Kaito now wraps both arms around Kokichi, the two indulging in each other’s warmth as they cuddle softly. Kokichi really was like a cuddly pillow in his arms, while Kaito felt like a snug blanket in his. It really was funny... having Kokichi nestled up in his arms like this, cuddling him, kissed him... all the things Kaito in the beginning would never dream of doing with Kokichi. And now here they were, after growing much closer and only fell harder and harder for each other tonight. As they feel the sleepiness start to catch up to them, Kaito was already looking forward to tomorrow morning, almost already forgetting how scared that movie had made him earlier. Rather, he thought much more about how nice it’ll be to wake up with the smaller boy all nestled in his arms like this; and in turn, Kokichi not being able to wait waking up in Kaito’s arms. “G’night, Ouma...” He softly yawns, giving him a soft squeeze in the hold. “That stupid movie that I totally handled well aside... tonight was fun.”

“Oh my god, whatever. Big dork...” He chortles, giving him a gentle squeeze in turn. “I had fun, too, Momo-chan... it’s never boring with you. Let’s play together even more tomorrow; g’nighttttt....”

“Heheh.. and thanks. I’m glad it never is. ...Yeah: let’s do that...” After gazing into each other’s eyes one last time, spilling with warmth and love for the other... eventually drift off to sleep. All of this happened tonight, because Kokichi simply egged the other on: that was going to be a choice Kokichi will always be happy that he made.

[hearteyesbowen]

twenty-dollar baby ☆ ricky bowen

big red thinks that ricky’s lost his touch and isn’t as smooth as he used to be, so they make a bet to see who is right

warnings: swearing, kinda cliché, fluff

part I , part II , part III

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Big Red and Ricky were sitting at their usual lunch spot, staring at his now ex-girlfriend, Nini Salazar-Roberts. It had only been two weeks since school started again and Ricky was still angry at how Nini had moved on so fast. He believed that they were only on a break, just so he could wrap his head around the whole “I love you” drama.

“You know, the more you stare, the creepier you look.” Big Red teased, nudging his best friend.

“I’m so over Nini now. How could she just find a senior boyfriend so fast?” Ricky complained.

“You broke up with her, dude.”

“It was a pause!”

Ricky stopped himself from getting any louder. He ruffled his hair, trying to destress himself. He pushed his lunch tray to the side, clearly losing his appetite over his anger.

“I should move on, too. I’ll start dating again.” Ricky declared.

Red scoffed, “Good luck.”

Ricky snapped his head at Red, raising an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

“It means you’ve lost your game. You were in a relationship for almost a year, how would you know how to get another girl?”

“You’re so supportive, you know that?”

Red rolled his eyes, pushing his tray away and sitting up. “I’ll bet you $20 that you can’t get another girlfriend in a week.”

“Excuse me?” Ricky asked in disbelief.

Red quickly scanned the cafeteria, looking for a girl that he can give to challenge Ricky. His eyes found you, sitting at a table in the center with your best friend Carlos. You were sitting extremely close with him as you he had his phone out to show you some videos.

Red smacked Ricky’s arm and pointed towards you, “I bet you can’t get Y/N to be your girlfriend.”

“What? No, I don’t want to be a dick. She’s super nice and literally in all my classes. Plus, I don’t need a bet to prove that I can get a girl.”

“You auditioned for a musical just to get Nini back and she’s still dating her new boyfriend and doesn’t even want to look at you.” Red pointed out.

Ricky sighed, staring at you from across the lunch area. Strands of your hair framed your face. Your head was laid on Carlos’ shoulder as you stared at his phone screen. Ricky never denied that you were pretty, in fact, he thought you were one of the most beautiful girls in the school. Everything about you captivated him, it was like you had him under this spell for the longest time.

You and Ricky shared almost every class with him. Only meeting at the end of your sophomore year, you both grew a treasured friendship. He would always try and get you to laugh during lessons, sometimes getting you both in trouble. If you were lucky, the teacher would let you two partner up for class projects. You thought he was cute, really cute. You never thought could like him, maybe because he didn’t seem like your type or that he had a girlfriend for a year. When they broke up during the summer, you made sure to check up on him whenever you could. He would ask you to hang out a majority of the time, so you grew even closer.

Ricky’s ego was building up, and maybe it was because his best friend was playing with his emotions, but he decided that he would take the bet. He knew he would have regretted this choice completely, but that’s a problem for later.

“Fine, in one week, I’ll get Y/N to be my girlfriend.”

Ricky and Red shook hands, finalizing their new deal.

➢➣ ➢➣

You rolled your eyes the more your teacher lectured minutes before the final bell rang. You rested your head on your chin, doodling swirls all over your notebook where your notes were supposed to be.

“Make sure you keep in touch with your partner, I’ll give you some class time tomorrow to finish the assignment.” Your teacher closed his textbook and walked to his desk as everyone packed their things.

You sat up and closed your notebook. You stuffed it inside your backpack, tuning out all of the noise of kids laughing and talking loudly. You took out your phone and your earphones, plugging them into your ears when you felt a small object hit your head. Your head looked to the floor where the item fell, and you found a tiny paper ball. You laughed and looked a few desks in front of you to your friend. Ricky was already staring at you, smiling to himself as he got up with his backpack and squeezed through the aisle to get to your seat.

“There wasn’t any other way for you to get my attention?” You wondered, picking up the ball and throwing it back at him.

Ricky laughed and kneeled in front of you, “I tried to call you but you ignored me. It’s your fault for sitting in the back.”

“No, it’s your fault for getting moved for distracting me from learning.” You teased.

The last bell of the day rang, making everyone in class shove each other out the door. You stood up with Ricky who grabbed your backpack for you, and you both headed out the class. He grabbed the door handle before you could and held it open, letting you pass through first.

You gave him a confused look, “Who let you be a gentleman today?”

Ricky’s mouth grew open in shock, “I can’t just be nice to my friend?”

“No, you’re a dick.”

“Wow, you and Red both make me feel so much better about myself.” He joked.

You walked down the staircase to the bottom floor. The theatre door was ahead, meaning you and Ricky had to part ways.

You tilted your head, “What did he tease you for this time?”

Ricky’s eyes widened, averting from yours. He scratched the back of his neck, “The usual.”

You laughed, said bye and started to walk away, assuming Ricky would just walked into rehearsal. Before you could take two steps away from him, he called for your attention.

“Y/N.”

You turned around on your heels, facing the anxious boy. He stood with his hands in his pockets, swaying back and forth on his feet. His mouth was open, as if trying to find what to say.

“Ricky?” You asked, stepping closer to him.

“What are you doing later?” His voice was soft, almost nervous.

“Nothing, why?”

“I have rehearsal for only an hour today, we’re ending early. Maybe I can pick you up and we can go out?”

You were now face-to-face with him. He had a timid smile, anticipating your response. You smiled brightly at him, easing his anxiousness.

“Are you asking me out on a date, Ricky Bowen?”

His lips grew wider, relieved of your reaction, “What if I am?”

“Then I would love to go on a date with you.”

Ricky sighed, making you giggle. He wrapped his large arms around your body for a tight hug. Your hands went around his neck as he lifted you off the floor for a few seconds. Once you were set back down, he checked the time on his phone.

“I’ll pick you up at 4:30?”

You stood on your toes to kiss his cheek lightly.

“Don’t be late.”

➢➣ ➢➣

Looking in the mirror, you finished checking yourself to make sure you were ready for your date. You finished fixing your hair, making sure it’s perfectly smooth.

You don’t know why you were so excited about going out on a date with Ricky. Sure, you thought he was cute, but you never thought of him that way. He was always really nice to you, and made sure you were ok after anything happened to you. Maybe it was because of how close you two got recently, but something felt different with him.

Ricky had sent you a text five minutes ago that he was on his way to pick you up, so you picked up your small purse and opened your bedroom door to leave.

“Y/N, Ricky is here for you!” Your mother called out from the living room.

You walked through the hall and saw Ricky in front of the door next to your mother, holding a small bouquet of red and yellow roses. He wasn’t dressed formal, just a light sweatshirt and jeans. You practically matched him, mostly because you didn’t know what his plans were for the date.

His eyes looked you up and down, his lips were parted slightly. “You look beautiful.”

You stood in front of him and smiled as he offered you the roses. “Thank you very much. You look handsome.”

His face grew pink, making your mom laugh behind you. “Remember what we talked about, alright?”

Ricky nodded his head furiously as he held your hand, “You can trust me.”

He sent a wink to your mother before he opened the door. You waved goodbye to her and closed the door behind you once you got out. You turned and saw Ricky’s small car parked in your driveway.

“Sorry it’s not some sports car, but I hope it will do.” He said nervously.

You laughed, “Anything will be fine. I’m just not sure what we’re doing today.”

Ricky opened your door for you, ushering you inside. You got in and watched as Ricky closed the door and ran around the car to his side and sat inside as wel.

“I’ve learned a thing or two about dates. Not sure if I’m any good at it yet but I’m learning. But I thought it would be nice if we go to the pier.”

“Like, the beach?”

“Yeah, why? You don’t like the beach?”

You scrunched up your nose and hid your face in shame. Ricky put his hand on your shoulder, his face in awe.

“How do you not like the beach?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “Just never did.”

“I’ll try and make this the best date ever. We don’t even have to go near the sand, the pier is way more fun anyways.”

“Well this is a step up from any date I’ve been on.”

Ricky started the car, letting the engine run for a few minutes. Confused, he tilted his head towards you.

“What do you mean?”

Great, now you get to look like a loser in front of your date. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, clearing your throat and fixing your hair, a habit you developed when you get nervous.

Ricky put his hand on top of yours which rested on your lap. You faced him, a small grin on your face.

“Have you never been on a date before?” He wondered. You shook your head slowly. Your head grew hot from the embarrassment. “Am I your first ever date?”

“I feel pathetic now.”

“No, no, no, don’t feel that way” He promptly put his hand on your shoulder. “I promise to make this the best date you will ever go on.”

➢➣ ➢➣

The sun was already beginning to set by the time you both made it to the pier. The beach was tame, not many people were swimming, mostly families running around with each other in the sand or friends starting bonfires in the charcoal pits towards the center of the beach. The pier wasn’t as full, either. Other, older, couples were walking together, holding hands or dining together at the restaurants. It was fully lit with lamps on the sides of the fencing blocking you from the sand. Any other light came from the sun already dimming away.

You didn’t know what to focus on first. Everything about the atmosphere was so breathtaking. To think that you had never gone out to see beautiful spots like this was a crime.

Ricky made sure to hold your hand the entire way, keeping you from running off to the numerous sites that caught your attention. He couldn’t help but be amazed at how beautiful he thought you looked in front of him. It almost made him forget this wasn’t real.

You dragged Ricky to the edge of the pier, staring straight ahead at the ocean in front of you. The sun was barely showing anymore, and all the colors molded together from day to night. You stepped on the fence and leaned over, gazing down at the water below you. Ricky’s strong arms held you at your waist, preventing you from falling over.

“I’ve never seen anything like this, or anything this beautiful.” You awed, stepping down from the rail.

Ricky’s arms stayed wrapped around your body and nestled his head in your neck. “I can think of something.”

You rolled your eyes playfully and laughed as you turned around to face him. “You’re really cute.”

His eyes glanced at your lips the more you stared at each other in silence. Your hands rested on his shoulders as you leaned up hastily. Ricky followed your actions, his breath shaky.

Ricky’s loud ringtone interrupted your possible kiss, making him scrunch you his face in frustration.

“Sorry, I should have silenced my phone.” He apologized, bringing out his phone to see it was a call from Red.

You shook your head, laughing slightly, “It’s fine, answer it. I’ll be here.”

He was quick to kiss your cheek before answering his phone and taking two steps away from you. As much as you knew it would be rude, you were curious as to what Big Red could have called for. Fortunately, you could make out some of what he was saying through the phone, and all of Ricky’s responses.

“Yeah, I’m with Y/N. Why?”

You turned your head slightly, your attention fully in their conversation at the sound of your name.

“So is it going to happen tonight?”

“Dude, don’t say that. Be respectful, you dick.”

You laughed at the way Ricky and his friend fought. He struggled to hang up with Red. The look of impatience on his face grew more and more. Boys are so stupid.

Once he was finally able to hang up, he shoved his phone in his pocket and turned back to you.

“Do you want to get ice cream?” He offered, holding out his hand.

You walked up to him and held his hand, “I would love to.”

➢➣ ➢➣

The sun had already set completely, so the pier looked even more gorgeous. Lights coming from the inside of shops and restaurants lit up the walkway along with the lamps. Less people filled the area, most of them leaving to the sand.

You and Ricky had just bought your ice cream, almost finished with it immediately. Your plan was to go to the arcade. He challenged you to play against him in Guitar Hero, so you simply couldn’t back down. This night was far too perfect for you, it was almost like a dream.

Ricky, on the other hand, couldn’t keep steady. He bounced his leg or fumbled with his hands when they weren’t holding yours. It’s not like he wasn’t trying to take you out on a nice date, he wanted to make this as special as he could for you. He never truly realized how much he really did like you until now. You made him feel something he never felt when he was with Nini.

Ricky’s problem was that he was still lying to you. He didn’t ask you out because he has loved you since you two met, or at least that’s what he wished was the case. He wishes that he discovered this emotion towards you early, that it could have been different. He still made a bet, a $20 bet that was just useless at this point. But when would he tell you this is what aches him the most.

“I need to tell you something, Y/N.”

You stopped walking along the pier and stared at him confusingly while you threw away the spoon with your finished ice cream, “Is everything alright?”

He toyed with the spoon inside of his almost empty cup, not able to look at you. “I seriously need you to know something, but I’m really scared that you will hate me forever.”

You rubbed his arm soothingly, hoping he would look at you. When he did slowly move his head up to you, you gave him a soft smile.

“I could never be mad at you. Ricky. Especially after everything you have done for me tonight. You’re the nicest guy ever.”

His eyes saddened. His foot tapped rapidly along the wooden flooring, and his upper body looked as if he tensed up. One of his hands went to his eyes, rubbing his temples furiously.

“I just feel bad.” He mumbled, still covering half of his face.

“Why?” You wondered, feeling petrified of his tone.

Ricky lifted his head again from his hands and had a smirk displayed across his face. “I feel bad that I’m going to beat you at every single game in that arcade.”

Your whole body relaxed at his response. You let out a relieved laugh and picked up the spoon from his cup that had the smallest scoop of chocolate ice cream.

“Yeah, but at least I don’t have chocolate on my face.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

You gave a sinister grin as you took the spoon and smeared it on the top of his cheek and across his nose. You laughed and threw the utensil in the trash near you.

He groaned, throwing the cup away as well. He wiped his face with a napkin he had and eyed you down. “You’re going to get it.”

You bolted off immediately away from Ricky, who was still cleaning up his face from the chocolate. You went inside the arcade, knowing he would chase you down.

You ran around the children and teens playing in front of the large machines, hoping you would lose Ricky as quickly as possible. You tried to find something large to hide behind so you could watch out for him. Soon, you found a large basketball game that was set up on the side of the wall towards the back. You ran to the machine and ducked down, trying to see if you could spot him.

After a few short minutes of looking, you couldn’t find Ricky anywhere. You thought that maybe he just completely lost you. Well, he didn’t.

Once you stood up to try and get a better look around the area, a pair of strong hands grabbed you from behind and picked you up. You screamed, only to hear a familiar laugh from the person who grabbed at you.

“You aren’t good at hiding.” Ricky teased as he set you down.

You faced him, still being held in his arms and quickly greeted with his devilish smile. “Yeah, yeah, don’t get too cocky.”

“Sorry, loser.” He joked, bringing you closer to his body.

You decided to make the bold move and lean up to plant your lips on his. You held at his neck and stood up on your toes higher to meet his height. Ricky was completely shocked, but only for a second so he could kiss you back. Your lips molded together perfectly, making you feel warm. Although it was short, you didn’t think it was anything less than perfect.

You pulled away after a few seconds, and giggled at his peaceful face. His eyes stayed closed, along with a small smile.

“Wake me up when I’m done dreaming.” Ricky whispered.

You placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, making him open his eyes. He pecked your lips once more, making you giggle. You held his hand and led him to one of the games you ran past earlier.

As you both walked around, Ricky felt another buzz from his phone. He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the notification.

Big Red 🔥

Nini and EJ broke up, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of you.

A/N - we love a cliffhanger lol this is for sure going to be a longer series ( maybe not too long but longer than two parts ) . hope u guys like this one !! also i hope u guys are home , staying safe and healthy , and all that stuff cuz we’re not trying to spread and catch diseases ): love y’all xx

[loser-freak-beheader]

DWSA- Andy’s portrayal

Sorry it’s not amazing, but I wanted it to be done tonight. Apologies in advance for the no doubt plentiful spelling mistakes

Hanschen is scared in that school scene. He looks scared, facing the front and avoiding looking anywhere in front of him. He does a short laugh when Herr Sonnenstich whispers something to him, then immediately looks to the front again, trying to remain invisible. He allows the system to work for him by doing what he must to survive, that is in this scene, laughing at something. He is a 15 year old boy and they can get scared, and act for their own selfish needs. He even says in Bitch of Living ‘just kiss some ass, man. Then you can screw ‘em all’ which shows how though he may disagree with the system, he goes with it so that it’ll work better for him. This contrasts with Melchior, who is openly against the system and does what he can to challenge it.

The ‘Do a little Achilles and Patrocles’ line was never for Ernst to hear but rather for a joke for the audience. You could also argue that perhaps he doesn’t want to sign what he said because he’s scared of his sexuality or people’s reactions to it, as the line is also said in a quieter tone.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I think it’s creepier in OBC where Hanschen singing about Ernst in WOYBR compared to DWSA where he’s actually singing to Ernst. In the obc, microphones are used to signal when a character is entering their own world, and when Hanschen sings, he’s doing it into his microphone. All he sings is what’s inside his mind and what he wants to do to Ernst which for me is slightly concerning as he’s singing about how he wants to ‘bruise’ Ernst. However, in dwsa, Hanschen signs the song and Ernst also interacts with him during it- following some of the signs, reacting to parts- and this change makes the kiss seem less sudden.

The hand in face thing- I’ve got a HoH friend and I’ve also spoken to other people who are deaf, and waving a hand to get their attention is quite common. It’s not as rude as you might think. Half the cast was deaf, and Arden would have listened to them if they’d said it was offensive to do something like that. There’s also a scene earlier where Mortiz waves his hand to get Melchiors attention (their bit right before Touch Me) and even during the Vineyard scene, Ernst waves his hand in front of Hanschen to get his attention.

The reason Hanschen shushes Ernst’s voice is because both Joshua Castille and Daniel Stewart laugh at that moment. Hanschen shushes Daniel to allow Josh (the real Ernst) to be heard, which creates that idea of Hanschen wanting to accept Ernst for who he is.

Ernst’s voice represents childhood and innocence, similarly to Wendla’s (foils to each other, like Melchior and Hanschen). He is often near it or touching it, showing how he is scared to lose that younger part of him. The most notable time Ernst is separated from his voice is during The Dark I Know Well, when he signs with the other girls, which represents how he was/is unable to speak up. It can also represent how that happening is something that made him grow up, and he now associates growing up with losing his voice which is why he is so reluctant to be without it.

Ernst is scared to leave his childhood behind as he has only been shown cruelty in the adult world. Hanschen is there to show him that the adult world is not what he believes it to be, and that he does not need to rely on his voice (as a person).

Hanschen tries to make Ernst laugh- or at least that’s something thing that stands out to me in the vineyard scene. When he does the milk bit, he smiles after saying Otto’s name and looks disappointed when Ernst doesn’t respond. When he says the ‘Like Georg’, both him and Ernst laugh together until Hanschen shushes Ernst’s voice so he can hear real Ernst better.

None of the other characters acknowledge the voices. Only Hanschen, which shows the length of how close his relationship is with Ernst. He not only sees the voice, but accepts it to a certain extent.

Andy’s Hanschen also has vulnerability, and is hesitant about actually being with Ernst. The initial kiss, he goes in for it but then pulls away. In the speaking bit after, his posture is slightly defensive, particularly clear when Ernst grabs him when he goes to leave and he immediately straightens his back, head tilted slightly up to make himself look more intimidating. The second time, although both he is more certain that Ernst likes him, Hanschen goes into the kiss slowly and warily and pulls away when Ernst does. Again, when Ernst says ‘I thought we’d only talk’, Hanschen looks apologetic and hesitant, again trying to leave the piano/vineyard because he doesn’t want to hurt Ernst. Andy’s face conveys those feelings well; he does a small nod and bites his lip as though he’s accepting what he assumes Ernst meant.

Once he is reassured, he puts on that slightly more confident act with the ‘and so you should’.

The pushing away of the ‘bruise’ sign is meant to be showing how neither of Hanschen or Ernst will be bruised by their relationship- that is to say, it will not end in pain like Wendla and Melchior’s did. It is meant to show a happier ending for them, as they are not mentioned together after the Vineyard scene and it can be wondered whether they actually get to live happily.

[bearpillowmonster]

Steins;Gate Anime Review

I like a few time travel anime, my favorites would have to be Erased and Orange. This is neither of those. I can respect that because we don't see how the Delorean works other than using garbage, plutonium and a flux capacitor; We don't see a logical explanation in Erased or in Orange either, but it's fine for those respective stories because you basically just have to say "Time travel exists" and everybody will understand what you're talking about. I'm not big into the more science related stuff, where they get nitty gritty about the actual creation of the time machine but this does it in an entertaining yet smart way, making the time machine is not the point of the anime. A regular description of this anime wasn't enough to get me into it so let me rephrase it to peak your interest. They put bananas in a microwave and it turns to green slime. If that doesn't peak your interest then you could also say that it's an immersive anime that focuses on character development and uses time travel to do it, there, does that sound better?

I could've seen this as super serious and dark and complicated and that kept me from starting it all this time but I was wrong, this is a build-up anime. It has a really nice balance of where to be humorous and where to be serious. It starts out kind of aspiring but then works its way up and weaves itself in, making it all the more creepier during those parts, I was very much on the edge of my seat during some of the reveals. It's a smart anime but it doesn't make you feel lost or anything more like "Why didn't I think of that? It was right in front of me." it's funny because the time travel is easy to digest yet the actual story is complex. It's original, something I haven't seen in either a story or time travel as of yet. Now let me break it down. Our main is an average conspirator named Kyouma who thinks he's smarter than everyone else and challenges them. He's a scientist and calls himself an "evil genius" but ends up being more like an Invader Zim character. I could see where this is based from a visual novel, taking the time to focus on individual characters is almost like how that specific romantic route would go in a dating sim, surprisingly they make it flow well enough to not make it seem separate or chopped up, it seems like a natural progression of story and while you could argue that some of the women fall all over Kyouma, it actually makes him a bit of a better character, almost like he was meant to be annoying before and after you see everything, you start to feel bad for him and see his growth as well as almost wishing you had those little annoying moments back.

It seems to get better and better as it goes on but episode 7 threw it in for me at the very end of the episode because of how Kyoma is "the chosen one", it's absurd that first off, the weakest character of this anime is so powerful and second off, that there even is a 'chosen one' in the first place, it's an overused cliche. Then it really goes off the deep end with the next episode trying to change a boy to a girl? I'm not a conspiracy theorist and certainly not one as crazy as Kyouma but I've always found different dimensions and stuff of the sort, interesting, making this anime scratch that itch. I like an that anime sets its rules then follows them, that's probably the best thing about this being more science related. I don't quite get how the phone thing works but that's alright, I expect that kind of glossing. Kurisu is the red haired girl, she's pretty much a tsundere even though she proclaims that she's not. I thought maybe the color in the animation looked washed out from the promos but watching it, it seems fine, I feel like part of it was to get Kurisu's hair to stick out more but also to follow the visual novel style.

She's not the best girl though...Suzuha is! She is easily my favorite because it seems like every character has their own secrets (except maybe Kyouma because he can't keep his mouth shut) but hers is the most interesting throughout, not to mention her charismatic personality "Wassup!" then skidding around on her bike and being quick to make sure everything's alright. (You see why later in the anime but even without it she's cool) Mayuri is a childish girl, probably my favorite design wise but every time we see her she goes "Do-Do-Do" as if it's the Victory Fanfare from Final Fantasy, it gets kind of annoying. It's weird though, she talks that way to most of her friends but she seems different towards the end of her arc, like the tone of her voice, her choice of words, everything seems...better than before. It's true that each character gets better as it goes on but she just seems like she's putting on an act for most of it yet it's not outright said or made a part of the plot.

So what's a con of this anime? It fits in with both character and story, yet I wouldn't call it a con but more of a system of engagement. It drags you apart just to build you up again for very joyful moments to go back to very sad ones, it's quite a mix, in fact I might even consider them equally balanced, it's a heart-wrenching anime but by the end it becomes apparent that it's not building you up just to break you down again, it makes you question what matters at times. It's just showing you the struggle and that struggle is one I might have to recover from because of its immersion. I felt attached and like I couldn't turn back but I feel like it was intended. I could see American movies taking inspiration from it like Edge of Tomorrow (This is so much better though) and I could also see Brad Bird watching this when he made Tomorrowland because of the pins and Nixie tube clock idea.

I might give Steins;Gate 0 a try as well as the movie, not because I didn't like the ending, I loved the ending, but just to see more Steins;Gate. This is a 9 out of 10, you can see the amount of detail they put into the story, I now understand what the hype is about. It has no business being as good as it is, yet it is.

[hiatuswhore]

Brother

With all the madness going around with the Dread Doctors, my pack had put themselves at a distance. I'm not upset though if things were normal someone would have noticed by now that something was off. Liam hadn't gotten off my case nonetheless but with Hayden being possibly killed he stopped hovering as much.

Having Scott, Lydia, Stiles, and the others in my life was an adjustment. Becoming my family I was only use to it just being my brother and I. All my life he was all I had, all I know. As Damon attended Devenford Prep I went to Beacon Hills. He knew about supernatural though as you had befriended Liam and the McCall pack, he had befriended Brett and the Satomi pack. Like typical fraternal twins my brother and I were heading in very different directions.

"You okay?" Looking up from my food I jumped at his sudden presence. Standing there fringing worry he was quite the actor, "Mind if I join?"

"Not really," I said, running my eyes sleep had been evading me. It was becoming a real game of cat and mouse.

"You look uh-tired?" Theo said, chuckling at his hesitance I could not help but roll my eyes.

"Yeah," I said, looking away from Theo’s observant gaze. All my friends were scattered in the lunchroom. Liam with Hayden, Corey, and Mason. Scott and Lydia, Stiles by himself, Kira nowhere to be seen and Malia by herself. We were split not just as friends but as family. Sharing glances amongst each other we all looked away.

"We need to get everyone back together," Theo said but his words lacked sincerity. Looking up at him with narrowed eyes he looked confused.

"You're an ass you know that?" I asked but he continued his facade, "Don't play dumb it doesn't suit you."

Just like that his confused innocent expression easily became a smirk. Had I not been observant I would have found him attractive, "What are you playing at?"

"Oh come on we both know about your little friends. Starts with Dread and they dabble in a science called Chimeras," I said, shifting uncomfortable Theo grabbed my forearm pulling me out of the lunchroom. In the deserted hall pushing me against the lockers it was now me smirking.

"You're being all nonchalant why?" He asked only centimetres from my own face. Hearing his heart beating insanely he was nervous and every second of it felt amazing.

"Simple if I say anything everyone will just look at me like Stiles. I'll be at a disadvantage and any disagreement or suspicion of you will be assumed to be a silly conspiracy conjured by Stiles," I explained brushing my noes against him the ball was in my court, "I have all the answers one slip up and I bury you Raeken."

"Oh really so why don't you tell your friend what you dream about? Don't worry you'll need me, you'll need answers," He asked reclaiming power of the situation. Glancing at my lips he was tempting me and I needed to keep reminding myself he was the enemy. My mouth running dry I found myself glancing at his lips as well. Chuckling he brushed his nose against my own, “Tell me Lacoss you dream about anything else? Anyone else? Ever dream about me?”

Closing my eyes taking a breath my hormones were almost distracting me from a very important fact. How did he know about those dreams about-them? Taking a deep breath as I pulled myself together I opened my eyes. Looking at him he was hot, but I am no fool. Pushing past him I could hear him laugh and your chemosignals were off the charts. The mix of being annoyed and galvanized. Storming down the hall walking past Liam I could see his frown as I ignored him. Ironic for me to be his anchor when half the I struggle keeping my own feelings in check. I hate to admit it but Theo has gotten in my head. People flooding the halls with classes switching cut Liam off from getting to me as I stood in the middle of the hall falling apart as everyone was clearing out as soon as they entered.

“Oh really so why don't you tell your friends what you dream about?" Like they did the nights I tried to sleep the flashes of them rang through clouding my vision. With them came a horrid sound that brought a pain like no other. Bringing my hands to my ears the feeling was near crippling. Losing my balance letting out a small whimper the flashes were always in the same order. None of them answered any of the questions they created.

"Miss Lacoss!" Hearing Coach Finstock the hallway looked fuzzy. Despite feeling him helping me up he sounded so far away. My brother left school to come get me. Returning back to school leaving me home sleep was inconsistent. Sleeping for twenty minutes I was sitting awake for thirty minutes in between each cat nap. Checking my phone school was over and I had texts from Liam and Damon. Damon letting you know he was with his friends while Liam was worried  about you. Underneath the two of them though say the snake emoji. Not opening the message he was still in your head.

"-you'll need me. You'll need answers," His words were troubling but it triggered my curious nature. Going to Scott’s number there was no way he would listen and going to Stiles would do nothing. The thought of turning to Theo felt naive. Sound of knocking pulling me from my thoughts flooded my senses. Damon was rarely ever home and the house was typically quiet. Walking down the stairs I relaxed as the familiar scent hit my nose. Standing there Liam visibly relaxed as I came into view

"What was that in the hall?" He asked, looking at him I hadn’t told anyone about the vision. Considering lying to him he made it easy for me to stir the conversation away from the topic, "What's going on with you and Theo?"

Leaning on the side of the doorway I couldn’t fight the smirk growing on my face, "Do my ears deceive me or did you just sound extremely jealous?"

"You ignored my question," Liam said leaning on the same wall as I was. Turning my head our noses bumped as challenged each other.

"You ignored my question," I whispered, grinning as we were just as close as I was Theo. Rather than feeling tense with Liam it was different. The banter always light-hearted. Deja vu fell over me as he glanced at my lips. Leaning in closer to me I pressed my forehead to his own halting his actions, "I think you're forgetting something Dunbar."

"What?" He asked entranced by you. It felt like the doorway held an invisible barrier but it was actually in the shape of a teenager girl.

"Not what. Who. H, A, Y, D, E, N," I spelled out slowly in a whisper for a second he seemed to be lost in thought. Backing away he said nothing as he walked away from me almost like a zombie. Watching him disappear from view I could only imagine what he was thinking. Getting back into bed the vision returned and left with various levels of severity. Waking from the final one I sighed in defeat as I grabbed my phone. The screen making me cringe as it was the only source of light in my room. Finding the snake emoji within my contacts it only rang twice before he picked up.

"Where and when?" Is all I asked and he chuckled relishing in a small victory but there was so much to come.

"I told you that you would need me," He said, rolling my eyes, “In thirty minutes just get in your car and drive."

"Wha-?" I asked but the line cut, not changing out of my cupcake pajamas pants I put on my dark grey hoodie. Doing as he said as I got in my car at first I was confused, just making random turns as I pleased I don’t know when but I had zoned out. Coming to a stop I found myself at the cemetery. Standing not too far off was Theo. Parking the car things were only getting creepier by the second, maybe this is how I die is all I could wonder.

"Faster than I thought," He said, walking over to him as I shoved him back he only smirked.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed gesturing to the cemetery.

"Look I know it's a bit morbid but trust me all your answers are here," He said, walking into the cemetery I watched him as he was obviously expecting me to follow. Checking my phone the signal was weak I am many things but not stupid. Sending Liam a text it was cryptic but should definitely be enough.

TR. 3:47 am Delivered

Following Theo's barely visible figure I sighed as my phone lost all service. It felt colder as we walked and the quiet hum of nature left an eerie build up as if something malevolent was waiting for me. The walk lasted about thirteen minutes as I had started counting. Despite the time we were a little far from where my car was parked. Seeing him come to a halt I joined him, ahead of us were no graves but a vast grass clearing and some trees.

"Why are we here?" I asked, looking at Theo who pointed toward the tree. Walking across the grass Theo was quiet at first until we neared the tree.

"Go touch it then I'll explain," He said, walking slowly toward the tree it looked old. The roots were fully branched out and attached to the ground. While the body would likely be nearly impossible to cut. Slowly reaching out you clinched as your palm connected with the tree. As nothing happened you looked back at Theo who was only smirking. Taking your hand from the tree that ear splitting noise was returning except this time it was different.

"Brother help what am I?" Flinching as Theo returned to my view it felt as if I had ran a marathon. It looked like my brother and I, but we were dressed as if it was the medieval times. We both had English accents.

"What was that? I saw myself and Damon but we were different," I explained unable to put what I had just seen into words. Theo said nothing as he walked around the tree but there was a plaque, Santora's.

"Her name was Amara she's been dead over several years ago along with her brother August. Amara and Augustine Santora, they were twins and orphans. Murdered at sixteen they were just regular village children," Theo explained but it didn’t explain why they had my face-or why I had theirs. Walking back toward the graveyard he stopped as an old plaque blocked our path, Perino Family, Touch the plaque."

Theo watched as I slowly crouched down. Placing my hand flat on the plaque I sighed as the searing pain was returning but it wasn't nearly as bad as the nightly visions.

"Let her go! Aspen!" Hearing someone yell I jumped back as I watched as the unknown person tear into the girl who looked just like me. Watching the man bleed her dry the fear in her eyes soon turned to nothing.

"Aspen and Beckham Perino. Both murdered, were twins and orphaned. Just common villagers murdered at twenty-four," Theo explained and I began catching the pattern but it still explained nothing. Walking again and I followed him until we stopped at a tomb stone. 'Xandra and Xander Marcantel 1843.' Touching their tombstone and began again another vision.

"Careful friend we must all bow to my spoiled brat of a twin sister," I watched as she giggled at her brother and for the first time vision wasn't dark and demented. They were much like Damon and I with the playful banter.

"Xandra and Xander Marcantel. Orphans adopted into a rich family actually lived quite some time. Xandra fell for and married James Marcantel the family's son. Xandra and Xander were murdered though at the age thirty-seven. Had kids and was happy but still ended the same," Theo explained and I shifted uncomfortably as it started to seem like a happy ending. Walking again at the next stop the tombstone read, 'Virginia and John Alder 1900-1948.' Touching the tombstone what was once searing pain felt like a mere pinch.

"Stop moping over some silly girl and have fun John all the real boozes are gonna be gone soon brother," I watched as she danced happily having a good time.

"Virginia Alder full of love and fun lived long married and had children. John Alder spent his entire life watching after his wild sister, married, and had kids. Both grew up orphans, and murdered at the age forty-eight," Theo explained and I sighed as this pattern was becoming predictable. As he started walking I followed silently. All the backgrounds mirrored my own and these people, we all share a face. So far into thought as Theo came to a halt there was no tombstone. Looking around there were only fleshly dug holes.

"What the-?" I began, looking down into it but as I turned Theo jammed a syringe into my throat. The initial pain was nothing but as spots started dancing in my vision as I stumbled back I fell. Falling into one of the holes I could see Theo looking down at me.

"Don't worry Lacoss you've got time on your side once Liam breaks Scott down I'm gonna need some way to get him to leave Scott for dead," Theo said and the last thing I saw was dirt being thrown down on me as darkness took over.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed as I gasped awake, the hole seemed shallower. Dirt falling from out of my hair the night seemed lighter somehow

"Watch your language darling," Looking over I realized it was all of them Amara, Aspen, Xandra, and Virginia.

"Where's my brother?" I asked and they all chuckled.

"Don't worry love he's with himself just like you are," Amara said and I looked at them confused.

"So we’re all like doppelgangers or something?" I asked and they all laughed.

"No we’re you," Xandra said laughing and I looked at them with wild eyes.

"Oh sweety relax they're just teasing. Don't worry we've all gone through this. You're immortal (Y/n), the pain you feel will subside when you let us in. We're you're past lives and when you die you'll join us and help us in our next life," Virginia explained and I began backing up from yourselves? Clutching my head all the memories began to flow through each and everyone one of them.  All of it rushing back at once each death, each marriage, each child, each life.

"(Y/n) I'm here. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," choking as my throat felt as if it was cluttered.

"Liam?" I questioned he chuckled squeezing me into a hug. I began to cry remembering each of my deaths and realizing I was just in a grave made for me. Getting home I didn't care about what Theo did, or what happened to the pack just one person. As he stood clearly registering as well you both stared at each other stuck.

"So? Should I call you Amara, Aspen, Xandra, Virginia or is your name in this life okay?" He asked trying to lighten the mood and I smiled happy his personality after each life hadn't changed him. Smiling my chuckle turning into a cry as he pulled me into a hug.

"How many deaths will we live until we truly die brother?"

[thetruthlsoutthere]

DW Dreams Post {2}

Read on (:

Dreams {1} 12/7/2016 to 12/8/2016|| Dreams {2} 12/8/2016 to 12/9/2016 // The day before yesterday, its like i was in this grass path with wood tress on either side like a freaking royal garden or some shit and the 10th and the 11th doctor were there and for some reason i was backing up from the 10th like i was afraid of him o something lmao and i hid behind his 6th Doctor regeneration self as he tried to sonic me and he looked hurt or something that i hid behind one of his other selves from him and his 11th self was watching shocked. I think someone else was there. Then its like me and River are in the Tardis, sitting down at one of the steps and she is telling me, "I am intimidated by you sometimes" and i am saying something like "Oh River Song... aka.. Melody Pond" so maybe i am liking telling her she doesn't need to be and asking why she is. THEN So I had a dream about the Master last night and it was his john simm form with the black hoodie bottoms and jeans with the red shirt underneath but anyway, its like he was in the backyard of my house by where our bonfire is and anyway, he was moving the stuff around it and its like then I am walking with Fred and George Weasley from Harry Potter and its like the Master was maybe walking with someone, the Doctor maybe? out of the woods up from the bonfire and he kept looking at me from the woods to the bonfire before and at the bonfire part before, i was walking out the back door and i was looking for someone, curving my body as i put a hand to my mouth to laugh and its like he was watching me stealthily move around the back part of my house to the side and BRUH, before or after that, there was this part where its like i was wearing this Christmas green really pretty dress and a red one as well and he told me HE WANTED TO TAKE ME RIGHT UP Against the wall or something AND THEN ITS LIKE I AM CRYING AT THE END OF THE DREAM AFTER HE CONTACTS ME THROUGH THIS ANCIENT BOOK AND LIKE WHY AM I CRYING?? LMAO ________________________________________________________________

Dream from 10/31/2016 to 11/1/2016 // Its like I was in this dark basement or something but there was this area of three rooms. I enter the first one and I get this really bad feeling like someone is there and watching me. Then I see this second room. I don't know if I am with anyone but I think I was alone. There were three rooms bc I stated it in the dream to 2 other people of what had happened to me and I will explain in that. Now the second room, the feeling gets even worse, I start to shake and try to gain control and everything but whoever is there that I cannot see is trying to take control over me. Its hits full force when I open the third room. I am hearing a scary dark voice, my whole body is shaking and other things. I must have thought it was the Devil because I end up screaming, "No, I am with God. You can go to Hell.". I have trouble trying to close the door because they wont leave me be. I finally manage to close it then I start running away. It is later on when I am in a different room, none of those three, that I explain these events to two other people. I like to think it was Amy and Rory but maybe it wasn't. All I know was that it was a male and a female.

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Dream from 10/31/2016 to 11/1/2016 // Its like Amy and Rory were running through this area of grassy woods and some kind of grey alien creature almost looking like the Absorbaloff but more creepier and deadlier so maybe a different alien creature then its like I am there and so is the Eleventh Doctor, were trying to escape from it. Somehow, I end up farther back from this area in the grassy woods where there is like a plankl to walk on from im on then in front of me and the deadly creature thing sees I am on my own and starts to make its way towards me and the Eleventh Doctor see's this, jumps into the creature's view and ends up walking down that plank thingy whatever in front of me. And in the midst of all this, him getting the creature's attention because maybe that means he didn't want me to get hurt, and I say, "Doctor stop, don't be an idiot.", because he could get hurt too and I obviously didn't want that either. Then it's like the Doctor is close to me, the creature in the background, Amy and Rory are safe maybe still to the side, out the creature's view. Then it's like this woman appears. She looks old like maybe in her 50's. She has long wavy blonde hair, light eyes, warm complexion and she was wearing old clothes rich in dark purplish red and I think she held something in her hands. Is she the one having power over this creature or whatever? Then it's like were in this dark area and there are these group of human men who are staring at us and I am sitting down and one of the men is talking about how they tried to take the creature down and they have not had luck and either {think they know more or don't at all.} I end up being my sassy cute self or whatever and say something like, "We actually do know more..... {something else said} but good effort buddy.", then I get up so. After that, there is an area of restroom stalls but ,like without the toilers, lmao so just a set of doors and the Doctor, me and other people we must know, so maybe not Amy and Rory but other timelords/time ladies and its like we are all regenerating or something. I look either still like myself or Nina Dobrev because I had that feeling. The Eleventh Doctor still looks like himself, I think. Me and him get close almost like were going to kiss but then we run off together. Then it is like there is a scene where I am talking to the Rani or someone. Why do I feel like its the Rani , lmao bc in a previous dream of me and her; it was like we are friends so is this part of this dream before or after that one like dreams in order or not. ANYWAY, whoever the woman is, if it is the Rani, she is talking to me annoyed or something about how the Doctor is crazy about me {She stated that but maybe different words.} and how she has tried to get him to stop or whatever but she failed at it. Then it's like I am walking away from her where the Doctor is, presumably with the others. For some reason, I have a vision that the Master {John Simm form} is stabbing me. It doesn't actually happen , lmao because I had a weird dream previous of the Master {Delgado form} where it was mentioned that he held affection. Check That dream journal entry. Now, I don't know where we were or what was happening in the dream at this part but maybe that dream part ends. I think I may have woken up after this.

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Dream: Night of 9/24/2016 to Morning of 9/25/2016 // I had a dream last night to this morning that involved me The Protector along with The Master and The Rani and there were definitely other people. It seemed like to me that The Rani and I myself the Protector were friendish with each other, idk. For some reason in the dream, I imagined myself kissing the Master but it didn't actually happen then Me and The Rani are to the side and she is asking me "Why did you take your ring off?" and I am supposing she means the one to me and the Doctor. I didn't reply back to her but right now I am like My answer is I don't know?.. ask dream me? What ring?? {The elena gilbert daylight ring which showed up in my Doctor Who dreams as my ring, that one?} There was also an action fighting sequence with others. The Rani that showed up in my dream was Classic Who Rani . The Master was John Simm Master I think.. I as The Protector, my gallifrey title name, kept being mentioned.

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Dream I had: Night of 8/21/2016 to Morning of 8/22/2016 // I was in this house and it had at least 3 stories long in height and I was looking out in the oceanic background. In the backyard, there was woods and in the narrow hill in front of it with grass leading up to the woods, I could see the Tardis although it didn't, it had parts missing to it like the door handles and the push writing sign on it was in a different place. Currently aside from that, the waves from the ocean were crashing really violent and big so I was taking a risk as I went outside to get closer to the Tardis but when I do, it goes from really tall to really small like just a little bit taller than me and I am touching it much smaller than it should be. I think there was a woman there saying something about it or I was just by myself thinking.

Short I know but there you go, that was another dream I had.

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Dream I had #3: Night of 8/21/2016 to Morning of 8/22/2016 // I was in this pure white area of rooms and in the main one, I was there with the Third regeneration of the Doctor, a man and a woman who may have been his companions at the time. I think it was Sara Jane? and a man who I got a Jack Harkness vibe , wearing a dark blue coat , those light denim jeans and boots;  but it could have been someone else. The Master was also there in the regeneration look he had back then and I was talking with the third doctor. We were in danger trying to escape from the Master and we went through this portal and the Master found out what we were trying to do and he was trying to make the portal close. The Doctor and Sara managed to get through and as it was stopping to let the man companion through, I pushed him in so he could go through, letting myself get stuck as long as they were safe. So I was stuck with the Master and me and him were talking. He was threatening to kill me and I was pushing and challenging him to do it. He then opened this one room and there was a white cot table thing and Rose was there and she looked so emotionally dead. The Master was taunting me about her being there and I was crying because clearly I love and care about Rose. It got to a point where I am across the room outside of the one Rose is in and The Master was in there with her, I feel like he may have closed the door but then I am closed my eyes and ears as hard as I can when I hear the Master hurt and beat Rose so bad to the point I am hearing her cries and begs and screams for him to please stop and her cries of pain and I am doing the same, constantly saying please stop and all that and I am screaming because I am trying not to think of this and wanting it to stop. The next part of this dream , it's like it has stopped  and I am seeing Rose wrapped up in a grey jacket on the other side of the room, sitting over a blanket, emotionally dead more than before and I look to see a tuib of water bloody red signaling that the Master hurt her so bad that she bled. I am crying and affected by this and Rose just gives me a dead look. I remember when I was screaming for it to stop, I was hoping Rose and the Master would hear me so either the Master stopped because he felt like it or he stopped becauseh e heard me, I don't know. But as I am doing this or before, I am aside from where I was outside the room and to my left, the Master and someone I would think to be Sara Jane or some other dark haired woman saying to him that he would never really hurt me because if some other person had done it, that person would be ripped to pieces or hurt or something along those lines. Does this mean that.... The Master cares about me or?.. likes/loves? I don't know, this shocked me. Anyway, at some point after seeing Rose again like that, I come to the side of this other room where that same woman and the Master are by each other and they look over at me as I walk to them. I eye glance across them without really looking at them and what seems to be one of those step ladders {from my work in real life} is by them and I hold my hand around one of the handles and with tears in my eyes, I am saying, "Just let her go, please, that is all I ask. Please let her remember none of this that she suffered through." Now while all of this was going on, I figured the Doctor and Sara Jane and the other man would have noticed I didn't make it through the portal and they reacted however they did but this is all I remember from this dream. I was able to tell all of it because as soon as I woke up, I immediately wanted to write it down so I did not forget. For anything else apart of this dream, I don't remember so I think this dream was all of it. At some point in this dream, I feel like I mentioned me being the Protector to the Third Doctor with Sara and the Master was there I think at this point and then I had the Doctor's hand in mine and we were smiling at each other.

{The Protector for my Gallfreyan title like The Doctor's and The Master's.}

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Dream: Night of 8/16/2016 to morning of 8/17/2016 It was like I was in this school and it came to a point where I was stealing food out of this fridge of some sort and I look to my right and Christina Inks was there, who I had not thought of out my dreams in a long time but here she is, and she is laughing in amusement ,watching me as if I shouldn't be doing this and yet I am and she isn't stopping me. Then it's like were talking for a bit about how she has to go somewhere so were parting ways and now it is like I am outside the school and I see Christina or what looks to be here, in a car on the road, driving away with others cars and I feel it weird to me because I thought I saw her on something different before, something different that wasn't a car but at this point, I am outside the school and away from it and it's like I am with Amy and Rory and were talking about something I don't remember and were walking. What happens next is one of them is either on the phone or then someone else is by us, I think another female and then I ask them, "You know of the Doctor? Well about.. the Protector." Now outside this dream, I had already had previous dreams, a lot, of Doctor Who and Torchwood ones so these people already know me, but once I mention the Protector, it's like Amy and Rory know of it and by the way I ask and the look in my eyes, it's me telling them that it's me and they look at me strangely as they realize and then I am cupping Amy's face and resting my forehead against her's with my hand in her over her hair and face and I am saying, "Oh Amelia {or Amy} Pond, Couldn't you see that this whole time, I was right in front of you." I said something like that and when I pulled back from her, it's like me, her and Rory are walking into the Tardis after smiling and laughing together and having me back this way after remembering this part about me {This whole time they knew me, friends of the companions and love of the Doctor, did they all have their mind wiped except me, of what I was and what I am is a time lady from Gallifrey? OH SHIT!} {P.S. I think out of all the companions, based on my dreams, I am closest with Amy/Amelia Pond. I seem to get along great with other companions, but Amelia, it's like I am closest.} But anyway, Me and Amy and Rory are going back into the Tardis and the Doctor {In his 11th regeneration} is there, he is by the Tardis doors from the inside and he is looking at all of us and by how Amy and or Rory tell him about this, the Doctor basically does the same thing with the strange look but then he smiles as he remembers and then that beautiful smile of his , oh my lord, is on his face and then the Tardis doors close and it's like around the Tardis console, I can see the controls up close to know what each one is and does Not like up close with my face pressed right up against it but more like just looking at it and itself is up close. And as Amy and Rory either stand there, me and the Doctor are using the controls to get the Tardis going and it does, you know the Tardis noise and it will disappear how it does, but anyway, on the last control, one of my hands and the Doctor's hands touch it at the same time, we look at each other with a loving smile then we both use it at the same time and then.... with that part, the dream ends.

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this takes place after the previous dreams listed:

Dreams at some point this year or last year:: // basically in one dream part, there were these whole montage of life scenes that happened and im my Protector self and my husband theta aka the doctor was there and its like for the rest of the dream, it showed us growing old together. And I feel like at some point in from the dreams I had last night to this morning and wanting to jot this down EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD HAVE EARLIER , I feel like at one point, there was a dream involving my alliana self and Klaus and a Lucifer like dream from the show but of me and Lucifer. ok byeee.

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Dreams from 8/3/17 to 8/4/17 // I just want to really write these dreams down so I don't forget them, lol. Ok so anyway, it's like I am on this street or whatever and I am walking into this store, walking around it, checking stuff out and there is other people around and it's like I see barack Obama there and then me and him get to talking and he hugs me and I mention to him about how I tried to talk to him once and he ignored me. I remember him replying about it but I don't remember what he said bc im a dumbass. But I know it was him speaking of a reason why he didn't or him thinking he hadn't. Then it's like I am in this dark room and there is two people standing not far in front of me and two other people to the other side. For some reason, for the people not far in front, I feel like one was male and the other was female and the ones to the side were the Master in his John Simm form and the other people, I don't know who the person was but I feel like he was male too. It's like The Master is talking telling the people in front of me to stop talking or something, like he wants them to stop whatever they are doing because I can see his face turned towards them then he turns to me and his face is close to mine and were talking and its like his lips brush up against mine.

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2 dreams in the past few days 7/2/17 and 7/3/17 // the first one which involved the earlier days of the 1st or 2nd , it was like I was running out the back door of my house and it was pouring rain and I kept yelling "Doctor!" and running around. Perhaps, I was sad or in danger and I needed him. Point is, I kept running and yelling Doctor, hoping to find him but then its like in the wooded trees around my house, I see Bill and she tells me to follow her and such and so we do, going through the woods and its like the rain had stopped and I kept asking where Nardole was but she wasn't answering so I stopped asking and then its like were going into this haunted place and there is something we have to solve so maybe there is an alienistic danger and its only me and Bill, The Doctor and Nardole are not in sight and were handling t but then we leave and I am talking to Bill about her and the other companions based on how much time they have spent with the Doctor, can handle things theirself and due to me being the Protector, I can perfectly handle it myself but that we need Theta for this and at this point Bill looking understanding, was looking horrified as well. For some reason , I think Clara was here at this point but remember all I saw was Bill for through out this dream and then its like I am back in my house inside my bathroom but perhaps it is longer or wider inside my dream because the Doctor is there, in his 12th regeneration and me and him are talking and at some point he tells me how it stuns him or something along those lines and I ask him what and he tells me about my beautiful smile of mine. Also at some point earlier in the dreams but not one of the first, its like I am dangerously yet gracefully dancing and the Master, in his John Simm form, is watching by the hallway wall and I get close to him with my hands/arms are on either side of his face and he watches me in shock and I have a serious look on my face. Then the one most recent is like a mix of me interacting with these cute guys and there being arrogant ones and me dealing with them and then its like I am in this familiar city and I feel like I am being watched by the Doctor and then its like me and these people are climbing this huge green beanstalk like tree to the foggy sky but its dangerous and there is supposed to be something strange up above and some where around this point , its like I am in a city and its over flooding with water like that 2012 movie and I am holding this  child and this girl is aside me and were trying to swim to safety and at this point, its like I am in this dark house and the walls are a dark blue and I am at this part of the house near the side where the door goes into this closet except the door itself isn't there and its like I am talking to someone and I say the words, "Maybe because I love my husband? My Theta.", and its at this point where myself I  see myself as Crystal Reed so perhaps that is the regeneration that I am in and the Doctor is there in his 10th regeneration form and I am crying and he is wiping the tears on my face and the Master is there with his hand on my shoulder. Also in this dream parts during these later listed days, the Master is in his John Simm form too.

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Admin :

stay tuned for part 3 (:

[blueduckie]

Fantasies...

So we all have fantasies - right? I thought my fantasy was pretty tame and harmless but also ridiculous and unrealistic. Books and movies portray it as romantic and a fun adventure🙄😳🤦‍♀️let me just tell you, there is a fine line between fantasy and reality and it rarely ought to be crossed - if at all.

My fantasy - having a stalker/romantic interest😳😳😳😬😬it’s actually rather embarrassing but I can’t help but laugh at myself for being so naively foolish.

The only reason it “works” in books and movies is because the main character is portrayed as being overprotective and domineering and plays hero, “rescuing” the “helpless” female either from herself or from someone with nefarious intent - which causes her to forgive his bossy, stalker, creepy like tendencies and personality.

As a plot point it works just fine and provides a pretty good, if not fairly trite and redundant, story. But - we all keep buying into it because deep down in our sentimental romantic hearts, we all want a hot secret someone to pay attention to us and “rescue” us from something🙄🤦‍♀️🤨if nothing else Disney has taught us it is expected and sought after.

🤔🤔🤔

Yeah - no.

Back in reality land, if you do have a stalker, chances are extremely high that he’s a creepier and has misguided possessiveness and anger issues. There’s nothing romantic about that. If anything it’s inviting trouble and being unnecessarily naive and foolish.

At this point you’re probably thinking I’m a bitter old hag who’s a man hater. And that’s not true at all. I freely admit that I am rather jaded, a bit cynical and distrustful of the opposite sex but it’s only because I’ve had to grow up very quickly and I have to live very firmly in reality, leaving make-believe and fantasy far behind - occasionally my inner child comes out, but it’s very rare.

I like men - I do - I think they’re funny and I enjoy most of their company, it’s just that I haven’t found one I relate well with and the ones that do come around, either don’t know what to do with me or think they can bully me into being someone I’m not.

There was a guy I was corresponding with last Fall who, despite professing to respect my opinions and decisions, completely disregarded and ignored everything I had to say, giving me the equivalent of “there there” and a pat on the head and tried to act like he knew what was best for me even though we hadn’t met in person yet🤦‍♀️😳🤦‍♀️

You may not agree with my opinions but I do know my own mind and you will respect it.

There was another guy that I went on one date with - ONE - and he took that as an invitation to blow up my phone with over 250 text messages in less than a day. It sounds like an exaggeration but I promise you it’s not - I was so perturbed I specifically remember looking up that months cell phone bill - and there it was in black and white.

I don’t mind texting family and friends but if you’re going to be constantly texting me stupid asinine questions every couple of minutes, even after I’ve told you to stop because I’m either trying to sleep or am at work and nothing has changed since the last time you texted me two minutes ago - I am going to get mad at you. There was absolutely no respect of my personal boundaries going on. He was actually the first person that I legitimately on purpose ghosted and blocked on Facebook. But not the last.

Which brings me back to the guy I “met” last year on Facebook - we’d been messaging each other for all of a day before he started in with how much he believed we were soulmates and we going to get married someday and have lots of kids together - every red flag in the book popped up at that point🚩🚩🚩even after I told him he was going way too fast and he needed to slow down and back off, he kept right at it🤦‍♀️

He was the second person I blocked on Facebook and - ironically enough, the third as well.

After months of blessed silence I got a “friend request” from a guy who looked remarkably similar and had a very similar name from the exact same area as the other guy🤔🤷‍♀️😬🤦‍♀️I don’t believe in coincidences - I also don’t believe in “soulmates” or “destiny” - we make our own destinies. Yeah - he got blocked too.

I did feel bad about that - for about a second and a half - before I remembered that I had told him last Fall, before I blocked and ghosted him the first time, that I didn’t like what he was doing and he needed to stop - that was actually the second time I’d told him that - some might consider it heartless but as far as I was concerned, I’d given him ample chances to change. I’m not so hard up and desperate for companionship that I’m gonna put up with that kind of nonsense, especially from the get go.

There’s been guys I’ve met online, and in person, who have a one track mind - how fast can we go from zero to sixty?😳dude - I met you five minutes ago, calm down. That is not what I’m looking for🤦‍♀️Or - people I don’t even know, who start messaging me and want me to move across the country and be a stay at home caregiver for their child while they’re gone overseas for half the year - again five minutes after “meeting” them😳🤨🤦‍♀️😬say what?

While I do not believe in “fate” I do believe I was born under a mostly unlucky star ✨💫🌟✨at least when it comes to dating.

There was a guy I went out with from work(don’t do that btw - not the first time I’ve done this, you’d think I’d learn🤦‍♀️) - we had fun, nothing to write home about but I’d had a good time. I was actually looking forward to seeing him again and getting to know him better despite being coworkers - right up until he started blowing up my phone with countless asinine questions when I was trying to sleep or was at work😡😤🤬I completely shut down after that - Fort Knox isn’t tighter.

He told me afterwards that I had ghosted him - at the time I didn’t mean too, I didn’t realize what was happening until after it happened - but as soon as he started in, I flashed right back to that guy from years ago who kept pushing and pushing despite being told no and all my “walls” instantly went back up.

I thought I was over it and had moved on - hell I don’t even remember his name - but I sure remember what he did - evidently it made more of an impact than I thought it did🤔And oh yeah, btw - it’s now very awkward at work because he’s trying to be all buddy-buddy and I’m not even remotely interested right now, and somehow he’s not getting that.

So - what I’ve learned from all this ridiculousness - is that dating websites and meeting new people on Facebook aren’t working for me. And I am much better off without the ensuing drama.

I’m a strong, independent, stubborn woman with an excellent work ethic and I’m not just going to roll over to save your fragile little ego - that’s disgusting🤢🤮🤢 - I’m opinionated and I have a hot temper, I’m also going to challenge you and make you think - deal with it. I’m looking for a partner not a child.

To paraphrase a book I read recently: he wanted someone he could be himself with; he wanted someone to need him - he wanted to need someone.

That’s what I’m looking for. A REAL man.

It may be an overgeneralization but I think that’s what everyone is looking for - to be needed and wanted by someone else.

[uomo-accattivante]

I love this interview! 👍🏼

Writer/director Alex Garland set a high bar for himself with Ex Machina, his stellar 2015 directorial debut. That sci-fi movie had a lot on its mind, but his newest film, Annihilation, is far more cerebral. It’s one of the most challenging movies of the year: bold, beautiful, and haunting in a way that occasionally verges on being experimental.

Not long ago, I had the opportunity to sit down with Garland and actor Oscar Isaac, who plays a key role in the film, to talk to them about bringing this story to the big screen. We touched on the film’s behind-the-scenes clashes, whether or not Garland was concerned with audiences being able to keep up with what he’s doing in this movie, Isaac’s approach to his troubled character, and much more. Read our full Oscar Isaac and Alex Garland interview below.

Warning: Both Garland and Isaac occasionally drop spoilers in a couple of their responses. If you’re 100% spoiler-averse, I’d suggest bookmarking this and reading it after you see the film. Our interview follows.

***

For me, watching this movie was like walking through a beautiful nightmare. I have not read Jeff VanderMeer’s book yet, but can you tell me about how you crafted the visual aspects of being inside The Shimmer?

Isaac: Sure. (laughs)

Garland: (To Isaac) Go on, do it. (laughs) Yeah, we knew we wanted it to be beautiful and disturbing, often concurrently within the same shot. So really, what happened was, there’s a script. And in the script it’s straightforward in many respects, because it says, like, say, this scene, you’d say, ‘INTERIOR. HOTEL BAY. Three people sit around a coffee table.’ But then of course, production designers and set decorators need to make it something where you can stick a camera. So the script was disseminated among the collective, the group of people who work together, many of whom I’ve worked with for a long time – some of them twenty years. Me and [set decorator] Michelle Day and Mark [Digby] on the production design team, [producer] Andrew [Macdonald] – we’ve worked together on seven or eight movies, so we know each other backwards.

It all goes out, and really what happens is, a conversation starts. Everybody’s got a voice, and everybody’s chipping in, and an organic, evolutionary process begins and it doesn’t really stop. It doesn’t really stop until the picture’s locked. Right in the 59th minute of the twelfth hour, or whatever the right thing to say is, in the grade, these things are being affected hugely. How much do you saturate the colors? Where do you choose to desaturate? Where do you choose to put a bright point in the screen and do we have a vignette on the shot to focus? So it never really stops. It’s a big collective all working together and getting there organically.

Isaac: But at the same time, nudging it towards ‘What’s most disturbing?’ As an example, without trying to give away too much stuff, the ‘fight’ scene at the end between the alien and Lena. I was there for a lot of those rehearsals, and just seeing – it’s such an ephemeral thing. Why is it more disturbing if she’s less aggressive here, but pushing into her? Why is it weirder if this movement happens as opposed to this movement? It’s hard to say why, but it’s one of those things where we wouldn’t think of it, but then (nods to Garland) you’d suggest it, and suddenly we were all like, ‘Yep. That’s definitely creepier.’ Something as subtle as, this alien being, all it is is intention. So seeing the physicality of that idea happen. The collaborative part is, you say that, and then we have to interpret that. How do you physicalize just intention? Then somewhere that alchemy comes together, and everyone gets on the same page and creates something really crazy.

By the end, Kane turns out to be unlike any character you’ve played before. But in the beginning, I was noticing a couple of similarities to the soldier you voice in the Homecoming podcast. Did you think about that character at all when you were making this?

Isaac: Oh, is that right? No, I didn’t. That one, he was a private. Sure, he had kind of gone through some weird stuff, but I think with that one, there was a bit of an innocence. Kane maybe has…it’s a little bit of a different thing. There’s a deeper, darker bubbling thing underneath him.

As the film goes on, it feels increasingly impressionistic and almost experimental at certain points. Were you worried at all about audiences not being able to keep up?

Garland: No. Not really. That’s not to say there’s anything to do with ignoring audiences. It’s not that. But it has to do with what you’re concerned with in relation to the audience, you know? For example, the kind of area where I’d think about it a lot would be to do with strangeness. So the film was, in some ways, conceived backwards. There was this crucial aspect to me that began as Natalie’s character is walking along the beach, and then contains the sequence within a lighthouse. I knew that was the goal, and I knew that I wanted us collectively to achieve a particular level of strangeness and beauty and oddness. Things like the dance sequence that Oscar was just alluding to. It needed to have information, but not information that was stated. It was more inferred. They key thing would be about strangeness, right? What it feels like to watch it. The crucial thing is what would it feel like? So then, you have to think, ‘How do you construct feeling?’

One of them, say in the case of strangeness, is that there’s a diminishing return with it. So if you begin strange, by the time you get to the end strange, you’ve got acclimatized to it and you’ve lost the thing that you’re shooting for. So that created a built-in structure, which on set and in pre-production, we used to call ‘suburbia to psychedelia,’ because it sounds neat and it’s a nice reduction. It’s a nice sound byte, isn’t it? But it’s got truth in it. Because if you start in suburbia, you start in our world, it gives you the chance of getting truly strange, in a way. So everything was sort of structured that way.

Along those same lines, there were some heavily publicized behind-the-scenes clashes about the making of this movie. I know you’re someone who’s not afraid to speak your mind, so I’m just wondering if you’re pleased with how it all turned out.

Garland: I only really give a shit about the film, OK? That’s actually all I care about. So as long as the film honors the intent of the collective, I’m basically happy. That’s what I care about. I think we did everything we could, and I’m proud of it, and I love it, so I’m fine with it.

I’m curious about your process. What kinds of conversations did you guys have about Kane, and was there a moment when you were developing your take on him where everything clicked for you?

Isaac: (Jokingly) Yeah, I had it all figured out, and I walked in and said, ‘Shut up. Sit down. And point the camera at this.’ (points at his own face)

Garland: He set the lens. There was some discussion about the lighting, but Oscar won. That’s the way it goes.

Isaac: (laughs) Yeah, we talked. That’s what we do. We like to talk a lot and we think about things in similar ways, I like to think, and we have a similar sense of humor. So I think my first question was, ‘I know it’s not Predator with girls, but tell me why it’s not Predator with girls.’ No, I’m kidding. I just read it and thought it was fascinating and thought it was so strange and so beautiful, and I wanted to play this character. What was so cool is that he has all this stuff bubbling underneath, as I was saying, so that’s what was most interesting to me. There was almost a Pinter-esque quality to it, where there’s all these pauses and all of this subtext that’s just emanating out of these two people. But they don’t say it. Like Alex said, it’s inferred. So we spoke a lot about that. ‘What is it that’s happening underneath, and what is the nature of this relationship? What do I know now that I’m not saying? In this scene, now what do I know? What does she know?’ Trying to map those things out. Everything had a palpable energy between the characters.

Then coming up with different ideas: ‘Where might he be from? What if I try making his voice sound a little like this? What do you think about that?’ And then at the end, just the nature of the energy of how do we do this speech at the end that’s being filmed? What’s the reason we’re filming it? What’s the intent of it? Getting very specific about that stuff. That’s what a lot of it felt like. And with Alex, it always feels like we’re building a motorcycle together, or building a car. We’re just kind of handing each other the tools and making it together. That’s what’s really fun about it.

Garland: It was actually all built backwards. So for me, for what it’s worth, the whole thing was about earning the speech that Kane says at the end in this locked off shot that just sits there and lets him do it. It’s about the words that are contained there and the things he’s expressing there. Everything else is in support of that moment. The whole film actually is in support of the last thirty minutes, basically. Which sounds like a sort of stupid thing to say, because truly all films are. But actually that’s not exactly true. In a way, every single thing that happens is just inching your way towards this strange metaphysical sequence. And having it not as just abstract firework fun, but having content.

Isaac: Or pain. I think what the last thirty minutes are just this metaphysical pain and despair in some ways.

Garland:(To Oscar, jokingly) That’s how you’re choosing to sell the movie? Are you out of your fucking mind?

Isaac: Let’s go back to Predator with girls. Predator with girls! (laughs)

Garland: It’s true, though. It’s true.

With this and Star Wars, you’re a part of two big recent sci-fi movies that proudly feature women at the forefront of the cast, which is really cool. I know you’re separated from a lot of the ensemble here, but tell me about working with Natalie on this.

Isaac: I was shooting Star Wars at the exact same time, too, so that was a wild thing to –

Wait, you were jumping back and forth between sets?

Isaac: It was literally the same studio.

Oh, cool.

Isaac: So some days I would walk from – I think I still used my trailer from Star Wars…

Garland: Yeah, we didn’t have trailers. But there were days where you were, on the same day, shooting both things.

Isaac: Yeah, there were. I would shoot something in the morning and then have a little bit of down time and then switch it up. So that was wild.

Garland: We’d catch him at his lunch break and say, ‘We’ve got to shoot this now!’ (laughs)

Isaac: I think I visited, too, still dressed up as Poe on the set.

Garland:Yeah, totally.

Isaac: It was pretty wild. It reminded me a little of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, when he’s on the lot and you see all the different actors walking around. There was something very classic about it. So there was very little time, and not a lot of rehearsal time, and Natalie and I didn’t know each other. It happens in movies, obviously – you have to suddenly be very intimate with someone very quickly. I think the fact that she was willing to trust me and I was trusting her, and we just went in there and did it and tried to find a real intimacy. Which is always a weird, awkward, strange thing to do suddenly in front of a bunch of people. But we found that, and I really enjoyed those scenes with her. She is very focused, but also in those scenes, very emotionally available as well, so I really enjoyed that.

Garland: It makes me want to name-check Rian [Johnson] and Ram [Bergman], the producer on Star Wars [The Last Jedi]. I think because they come from an indie film background, here they are making like the biggest movie of all time, and they were unbelievably helpful and accommodating to us. And they really didn’t have to be at all. Most big productions would not even dream of doing that. And they went out of their way – whilst making fucking Star Wars, for Christ’s sake – to help this really small movie next door. It was very cool and I’m truly grateful for it, actually.

Making a movie with all female protagonists almost feels like a political statement today. Was that something that specifically drew you to this?

Garland: I really just want to dodge that question.

Really?

Garland: Yeah. The answer that I’m saying – which I’ve said before, so I apologize for it, but I’m in a position where this is the answer that I have – is that the previous film that Oscar and I worked on together [Ex Machina] had within it a very conscious set of deliberate arguments which related to gender and objectification. As well as other stuff about sentience and AI and all of that kind of thing. And what interested me about this project was the absence of an argument. So if I now talk about that, I dismantle the absence of the argument. So I’d just like to leave it at that.

Understood. You wrote this long before the Times Up and Me Too movements came to light, and I certainly don’t want you to explain the ending of your movie, but there’s some symbolism and imagery at the end that could be interpreted as being aligned with those causes. Does the film feel even more relevant now than when you wrote it, considering what’s going on culturally?

Garland: No, it doesn’t. I can’t lay claim to that. I wouldn’t want to. For me, it was a film, internally – by the way, let me just say, any time you present a narrative, in a book or a film or whatever the fuck it is, what is really happening is that fifty percent of the narrative is not provided by you. It’s provided by the subjective nature of the person receiving the narrative. So they fill in gaps, they provide stuff, they create agendas, whatever it happens to be. That is not problematic to me, that is just in the nature of the job. Right? For me, personally – so it doesn’t have to be for you – in as much as it is about something, which it is, to me, it is about the nature of self-destruction. It was about an observation I made, which is that everybody appears to be self-destructive. Some people are very obviously self-destructive because they’re addicted to heroin or alcohol or they act in a psychotic way or whatever, and they offer their self-destruction to you. Other people are very comfortable in their own skin, and they’ve got a fantastic job and a fantastic life and everything seems to be bulletproof. They feel like they’ve sort of cracked something about life. But then when you get to know them, you discover odd bits of self-destruction, which then become significant bits of self-destruction. It was the universality of it, that even the people who’d cracked it all had not cracked it all. And then I started trying to think –

Isaac: Where does it come from?

Garland: Where does it come from? Why is it that you have a really good marriage and you dismantle it? Why do you have a really good friendship and you dismantle it? Why do you have a really good job and you dismantle it? Whatever it happens to be. And the film essentially presents that question and an answer to that question by inference. To me, that is what it’s about.

*****

Annihilation hits theaters on February 23, 2018.

[travelcenter-uk]

Exploring the scariest places on earth this Halloween!

Let the horror movies and chills wait this Halloween because we are ready to take you on a real horror ride with the scariest places on earth as perfect treats while you are trick or treating. This Halloween, test your courage with these places that will awaken the ”spookster” in you! Starting from the scariest places in the UK to some of the ghoulish scariest places in the world, we got the spell worked out and all ready to cast. Let the cauldron boil right away!

ISLAND OF DOLLS, MEXICO

If you watched Chucky and cannot stand dolls in your room anymore, you need to visit the Island of Dolls!

Located in the channels of Xochimilco, south of the center of Mexico City, it is home to one of the scariest places on earth; The Island of dolls is something that will make you look twice on the path you walk.

For those who have the perfect imagination of dolls being possessed, this Island can be the spookiest one you’ll visit this Halloween. Why? Let me give you more details! Dolls alone are sometimes creepy; imagine an Island full of them hanging on trees; scary, right?

The Island of Dolls in Mexico is full of dolls hanging on trees. You’re right; it can be just a normal ritual. But here’s the plot twist: these dolls were hung to ward off the spirit of a drowned child!

Later on, following that tradition, many dolls were hung all over the Island, which became popular tourist attractions.

Up for a challenge this Halloween 2021? Visit the Island of dolls and see you can spot any unnatural activities.

Aokigahara Forest, Japan

If you are Xylophobic, Aokigahara cannot just be your worst nightmare but is also the best place to finally challenge yourself to overcome your fear!

As the dense forest of Aokigahara whispers eerie stories in your ear, this forest trail is quite the Halloween adventure if you’re ready for the chills.Owning a setting as it can appear in upcoming horror movies, it has a suicide record of 50 to 100 a year; but that doesn’t stop the hikers from exploring this special Halloween 2021 edition on our list of scariest places in the world.

It’s not just the spooky elements of the Aokigahara forest that make it among the scariest places in the world. Its lush greenery-filled atmosphere is a popular hotspot for tourists as well; yes, we’re talking to the thrill-seekers reading this! I mean, getting lost in the woods can sound like an ‘adventure’ but have you ever had nightmares of getting lost in a ‘suicide forest’? If you are looking for a creepy journey that is off the radar on Halloween getaways, then this is something you should consider.

Did you know?

The Aokigahara Forest in Japan is also called the ‘Suicide Forest’ and was used as the setting for the American Supernatural horror film ‘The Forest’ directed by Jason Zada.

Bran Castle – Bran, Romania

There’s something very mysteriously attractive about vampires!

If you didn’t have a crush on Edward from the movie twilight, then it’s just me on the fans club.

Well then, if you do love vampire stories, make your way to the Bran Castle in Romania for a tour of the castle. Initially getting its identity from Bram Stoker’s “Dracula,” there sure might be other undiscovered blood-rushing stories waiting to be discovered on your visit.

Tread in the footsteps of the night stalker himself. Yes, it may sound mythical but let me tell you what the locals around the Bran Castle have to say!

The Romanian locals are said to have believed ‘Strigoi’ roamed the area after dark. They claim that the Strigoi were spirits that rose from the dead and fed on their victims’ blood to quench their thirst. If this isn’t bloody enough, then here’s the spinechilling fact: some of the Romanian locals still believe that ‘Strigoi’ were ‘normal people’ during the day but during nightfall, their souls left their bodies in sleep to torment the neighbours.

What do you know? You have plenty of chances to bump right into a ‘Strigoi’ on your visit to the Bran Castle. Ready for a thrill ride?

As the bats rush out, tie your shoelaces for a tour that will upgrade your regular spooky experiences to one epic Halloween 2021 adventure.

Tower of London, England

You know London for its mind-blowing architecture and history, but have you ever heard of the ghosts that reside in the Tower of London?

Yes! The Tower of London’s sinister reputation is what attracts millions of visitors to come to hear stories of imprisonment, torture, and execution.

It’s not just the illustrious stories of souls roaming in the tower that makes it one of the scariest places in the world. History speaks volumes of the number of executions made at the site, two of which have been recorded as Henry VII’s wives!

Each tower in the Tower of London has its own spooky and enthralling element that attracts innumerable visitors to date!

Your tour of this spooky tower of London can start from the East End, one of the battlefields where it is said you can hear ghostly footsteps pacing back and forth. Then you can explore the Byward Tower, Toppling Tower, the Wakefield Tower, the Salt Tower, the Martin Tower, and many other towers one by one until you reach the traitor’s gate.

Sounds like playing a good game of Resident Evil? Now that’s what makes this one of the scariest places on earth, and why you must visit it for Halloween 2021.

No one has been able to escape the Tower of London regardless of birthright or rank. So, as you shake off the dust of history from your shoes and leave this grim fortress to its memories and shadows, you might as well want to offer a prayer for their repose!

Salem, United States

We’re casting a spell on you to make you travel to Salem in the United States!

What’s a Halloween story without witches? Visit the witch house that holds its history as Salem’s only home with direct ties to the Witch Trials of 1692.

Salem’s witch trials began in the spring of 1692, when several girls in Salem Village, Massachusetts, claimed to be possessed by the devil and accused local women of being witches. Today, it is the real stories that runs in its past, that makes Salem one of the scariest places in the world to visit!

Intrigued to see what actually we are talking about? Drop a comment, we’ll tell you more!

On your visit to Salem, in a true magic circle, real witches will welcome you and share their wisdom. At Crow Haven Corner, you will perform a candle magic spell with candles made by a real Witch and a stone spell to receive a wish. You can also be a part of a blessing that will be performed at the Witch Trials Memorial in memory of the victims of 1692 by one of the witches herself!

We are sure you would love to make a visit and take a trip learning about its mystical history and admire the seventeenth-century architecture.

If you are ready, all you need to do is contact our travel experts, and they’ll get your magic broom ready for you to fly away!

Hill of Crosses, Lithuania

We’re going a bit out of the topic to talk about mystery, religion and oh hey, you can use this topic to cool off a bit from all of the spookiness!

This is not something you will see in the upcoming horror movies. Did the Crosses that appear mysteriously in the 14th century form a hill full of them, or did people put it there?

If this doesn’t stir your curiosity, we don’t know what will!

This spot was filled with metal or wooden crosses, icons of saints, and photographs of revered local patriots for nearly two centuries.

But we don’t really know how it started!

The Hill of Crosses still stands strong as more than 100,000 crosses decorate the place with a religious fervour. Curious much? Read more about this place here

The hill of crosses: sacred or Scary? You get to decide!

This Halloween 2021, visit and see this mysterious wonder as Dangling rosaries chime in the blowing wind will create the perfect soundtrack as you stroll around admiring this work of art.

Paris Catacombs, France

The only thing visible to your eye up to a certain distance is human skulls; if that alone doesn’t make it one of the scariest places on earth, then you have our gutsy award!

What makes this skull-filled adventure even scarier is not just the fact that these are actual human skulls, but the fact that several visitors who had been to the Paris Catacombs had gotten lost wandering alone in this creep-real. Not to worry, that’s why our guided tours help you get back safely!

To give you more insight into this place, here’s a Tragical story alert!

It all started when bodies from Paris’s cemeteries were moved down into the city’s former limestone quarries; this led to underground tunnels of 6 million bodies from its past.

This might be the perfect add-on to your Halloween getaway! What do you think?

Loftus Hall, County Wexford

Now we come in direct contact with a place where the devil himself set foot on! Ireland has its share of scariest places in the UK, everything from haunted castles to ancient satanic clubs that will make the ghost-hunter in you happy. Well, in this case, you will see the evidence he left. (We don’t say his name!) The Loftus Hall has stories of a girl named Anne, who haunts the place, not only being prepared for ghost sighting but something a bit creepier. Along with that, you get to see the mysterious mark on the roof, which the devil left before he flew through the roof. Visitors can visit via a pre-booked guided tour of the hall and see its eerie specialities. Why wait now? Get packing this Halloween 2021.

Hoia-baciu forest, Romania

A photograph of a “UFO” hovering over the forest in 1968 made many heads turn (mysterious alien music plays).

Making the atmosphere even more spooky while hiking the forest trails or biking is the curved trees that encompass the forest, and it doesn’t stop there!

From UFO sightings to a sinister-looking atmosphere, the hoia-baciu forest ticks all the boxes to make it one of the scariest places in the world.

If you are ready to witness this wicked forest, make your way to experience it.

Pendle Hill, Lancashire

The story starts from the 17th century where 10 witches were buried after being found guilty of the murder of up to ten people.

Now the spirits of the witches haunt the villages, and many people say about their supernatural encounters when in Pendle Hill.

If you feel like going witch hunting, then take picturesque walking routes and see what this experience offers! It might not be one of the scariest places on earth, but it is one of the most haunted places in England.

See if you can spot a pointed hat!

Chillingham Castle, Northumberland

This castle can make an appearance in the upcoming horror movies! With a past full of tragic stories, you’re in for an adventure of a lifetime when you visit.

People have witnessed tortured spirits and friendly ghosts in their experience with the Chillingham Castle, the most common ones are the ghost of a frail figure in white begging for water and the Blue Boy who haunts the pink room.

All of these stories together make this castle one of the most haunted places in England.

Do you feel like you are all set for a hair-raising journey? Then the Chillingham Castle awaits.

Halloween is just around the corner, and we’ve got you prepped up with the scariest places on earth! We’re Bringing you the spine-tingling experiences that will make your Halloween the best one ever. This Halloween 2021, make your spooky stories even spookier by planning your getaway with us. Happy trick or treating! (Evil laugh)

Read More:-  Exploring the scariest places on earth this Halloween!

This Article, Information & Images Source (copyright):- Travel Center UK Blog

[everythingshawnmendes]

Halloween with Shawn Through the Years (Shawn Mendes x Reader)

talk about last minute halloween fics lmao

4 years old

“SHAWN BABY DON’T RUN YOU’RE GONNA TRIP!”

Two toddlers were running to the next house brightly lit by orange pumpkins. Shawn was dressed up as a fluffy tiger, with a big orange and black striped hood that almost covered his entire head. Y/N was a princess Ariel, with a shirt with purple seashells on them and a green skirt with scales on. The ran beside each other in excitement. Never before in their life had they only had to knock on a door to get free candy! They have also never owned so many treats in their lives. Their mothers scurried behind them, knowing what they got themselves into when they agreed to let Shawn and Y/N trick-or-treat together.

“Trick or treat!” The pair yelled as the owner of the house chuckled at these two little adorable toddlers.

“I got a lady bug shaped chocolate.” Shawn frowned at the sweet he just received as the two walked down the front porch of that house and onto the next.

“It’s okee Shawn, have my caramel.” Y/N grabbed his chocolate and placed her own in his orange bag.

Despite being only four years old, they knew each other extremely well and looked after each other like brother and sister.

They walked onto the next house and Y/N recoiled in fear.

“Mommy I-I’m scared! I don’t wanna go in that one!”

“It’s okay Y/N the skeletons aren’t real. They’re just made out of uh what’s the word pastic (A/N: 4 year old Shawn’s way of saying plastic).”

Y/N was on the verge of a tantrum.

“I don’t want to go.” Tears raising to the little girl’s eyes.

“Come I promise you I will protect you!” Shawn took her hand.

“Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

The pair clutched onto each other as they looked straight ahead, trying not to look at the slightly creepier and more life-like decorations.

10 years old

“Hermione is way better.”

“No Harry is.”

“If it weren’t for Hermione, you’d be dead by the first book.” Y/N poked Shawn’s red and gold tie. “Also, you put the scar on the wrong side.”

“Well Hermione doesn’t actually wear glasses so I don’t know why you have some on.”

“They’re yours, stupid.” Y/N took off the round spectacles and put them back on Shawn’s face.

“Alright my favourite Hogwarts students, go before the Dementors arrive.” Y/N’s mom ushered the two out the door.

“And remember only five streets! And if you get lost go ring a doorbell and ask to use the phone!” Karen yelled after them.

“We got this mom!” Shawn brushed her off.

“Those two make quite the pair, don’t they?” Y/N’s mom smiled watching them race on the sidewalk.

“Yes they do. They certainly like annoying each other, that’s for sure.”

“Well, you know what they say. Sometimes when kids like each other that’s how they show affection.”

15 years old

“Y/N I don’t like horror movies!”

“Stop being a pussy, this one is like the least scary one on Netflix.”

Shawn huffed and plopped on the couch beside Y/N.

“I’ll get it!” He got up when he heard the doorbell to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. “Hey go easy on the caramels will ya, save some for me.” He whispered in Y/N’s ear.

The pair decided to abandon the movie, because honestly Shawn wasn’t going to sit through it anyway. They merely sat on Y/N’s front porch and handed out candy while conversing.

“What do you wanna do later on?” Shawn asked.

“Not too sure. Would like to get into the science field. You?”

“Kay don’t laugh. Like seriously, cause it’s really stupid and practically impossible. But like maybe become a singer?”

“Shawn. I’ve known you all my life. This definitely is far from the stupidest thing you’ve said.” Y/N laughed, Shawn joining.

“So you don’t think it’s stupid?”

“Nah. I see you in Hollywood.” Y/N gazed at him.

“Aw if it isn’t the lovebirds.” The high school bitch exclaimed as she came up the driveway with her friends.

“Aw if it isn’t the dumbass who doesn’t realise a girl and a guy can’t be friends without being in a relationship.” Y/N raised her middle finger.

“Y/N!” Her mom said, as she clambered onto the front porch with Karen and Aaliyah. Shawn snickered at her.

17 years old

“I’d like to thank Taylor so much for having me on this 1989 tour.” Shawn gestured on stage to a Taylor dressed as a snowman. “It’s been great.”

+

Y/N downed the red cup full of beer alongside her friends, all dressed up as cats.

“Hey sexy.” A guy passing by them said.

“Bye.” Y/N waved sarcastically.

“Hey Y/N what happened to that friend of yours? Shawn?”

“You definitely know him. You have his song in your playlist.”

“Wait. Shit. Your old childhood friend is Shawn MENDES?”

20 years old

Y/N smiled at herself in the mirror. A decade ago, she was dressed exactly the same. Gryffindor robe, black skirt, wand in hand. Hermione was the true heroine of Harry Potter. She set out the door into her car and off to some party her friend has been raving about.

Shawn closed the Youtube video “how to tie a tie” as he managed to secure the red and gold Harry Potter tie around his neck. He unwrapped a caramel that was lying on his table then left his condo and over to Andrew’s house.

The pair stood side by side at the bar ordering drinks. Turning around, the both proceeded to say: “Nice costume.”

Their hand then flew to their mouths in shock.

“Y/N?”

“Shawn?”

“Oh my god.”

They hugged each other, dumbstruck. They then proceeded to sit down at a couch and reconnected, talking about everything that had happened in their whirlwind lives the past five years.

21 years old

“Wow cheesy.” Geoff commented on Shawn and Y/N’s costume.

“Shut up it’s funny.”

“Lemme get a picture of you too, it’ll get the media fawning. And the couples who are also wearing a bacon and egg costume not feel alone.”

Y/N chuckled as Shawn looped his arm around her shoulder.

“You’re cute.” Shawn looked down at her.

“As are you.”

30 years old

“THOMAS BABY DON’T RUN YOU’RE GONNA TRIP!” Shawn called after his mischievous four year old as he dragged his two year old sister down the sidewalk, who was barely keeping up with her two tiny feet.

“Shawn that’s literally word for word, what your mom told you when we were 4.”

Shawn grinned at the memory.

“How can I forget? My first trick-or-treating experience.”

“Hey you think we should do that Kimmel “I told my kids I ate their candy” challenge thing?”

38 years old

Shawn and Y/N sat in their kitchen, practically crying of laughter.

“Thomas, Rose come here!” They played a video on their phone of those two eight years ago screaming and pouting.

“Not cool dad, I actually thought you two ate all my candy.”

“I was only 2!”

“It was a joke!” Shawn chuckled. “Although I did steal some of your caramels.”

The pair of siblings left the room.

“We really are bad parents aren’t we?”

“The worst.” Shawn chuckled, pulling his wife in for a kiss on the cheek.

50 years old

“Hey hun look here what Rose posted on her Facebook.”

“Aw cute.” Y/N replied.

“What do you mean cute? She’s half naked! That isn’t a costume it’s lingerie!”

“Shawn she’s 22.”

“Still.”

“Imagine when we were 22. I’m sure you would have liked to see me in that.” Y/N cocked an eyebrow.

“Still do.” Shawn smirked, pulling her in for a hug.

60 years old

“Hi dears come in!” Y/N cried at the sight of her children and grandchildren. “Look at them! You are so precious.”

“What’s up guys.” Shawn opened the door to his son and daughter.

“And Rose! You dressed her up as princess Ariel!”

“What’s so special about princess Ariel?” Shawn said, popping a caramel in his mouth.

“That was my first Halloween costume.”

“Oh yeah!” Shawn remembered.

“And watch how many of those you eat, we ain’t 28 anymore.” Y/N chuckled.

“Not my fault you make these so damn delicious.”

85 years old

Y/N and Shawn were sitting calmly on their armchairs in front of the fire.

“Hey.” Shawn said.

“Hmm?”

“It’s Halloween today.”

“Is it?” Y/N asked.

Shawn got up slowly and disappeared into the storage room. He reemerged into the room with a hat and a pair of glasses. Sitting back down, he placed the hat on Y/N’s head and put the round glasses on himself.

“Harry really couldn’t have survived without Hermione.” He said.

“Only took you over seventy years to figure that out.” Y/N laughed.

“I couldn’t have survived this life without you Y/N.”

Shawn said.

Y/N smiled at him.

“You want me to make caramel?”

ik this aint caramel but honestly i cant find good gifs on here anymore idk why

[queenofcats17]

More prompts! -"you said everything was going to be ok"! -the clash of animators! (Aka joey says he can draw better than Henry and so the two have a draw off with the toons as judges) -"a rose for your woes"?

This got a little dark, so I’m sorry about that. But here we go. 

Coming back to the studio had been a mistake. Cordelia understood that now. She knew she’d come back here for a reason. She’d come back for Sammy. But she’d been wrong to come back. Everything was wrong now. She didn’t know why it was wrong, just that it was. She leaned against the fallen beams as Sammy tied up the intruder, someone she was certain she knew.

“My prophet?” She said, beginning to nervously play with her hair.

“Yes, my dear acolyte?” Sammy hummed.

“Why are we sacrificing this man to our Lord?”

“Because our love requires sacrifice,” Sammy said. “He must notice us.”

“But…Don’t we know him?” Her memories were still fuzzy, but she was certain she knew the man tied up before her. She knew him the same way she’d known Sammy. She’d worked for him. But his name eluded her, vanishing like smoke every time she tried to grasp it.

“Know him?” Sammy paused, studying the intruder’s face. “His face…It is familiar.” The former music director quickly shook his head though. “No, now is not the time for that.”

“But Sammy, what if he’s a friend?” Cordelia asked. Sammy turned slowly towards her, an air of dangerous calm about him.

“Are you questioning me, my acolyte?” He asked with a smile.

“O-Of course not.” She flinched back, drawing into herself.

“Good.” Sammy turned his attention back to the man. “I know that his love makes you afraid, my acolyte, but you must trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

“I trust you.” She whispered. She stayed to the side as the man woke up and Sammy delivered his speech. The man immediately seemed to recognize them, struggling against his bonds.

“Sammy! What are you doing?!” He demanded.

“How do you know my name?” Sammy asked, tilting his head to the side.

“We were coworkers! Sammy, it’s me! Henry!”

“Henry…” Cordelia whispered. Yes, she knew that name. He had….He had been her boss. Her eyes widened and she stumbled back.

“Cordelia?” Sammy looked to her, frowning behind his mask. “What is wrong, my acolyte?”

“Everything.” She began to rock back and forth, staring in horror around her and at Sammy. “Everything is wrong!”

“What are you-”

“None of this is alright!” She began to cry, tearing at her hair. “We’re monsters, Sammy! Monsters! Look at what we’ve become! Look at what we were about to do!” For a moment, Sammy was quiet, just staring at her.

“So the words of this intruder have shaken your faith.” He finally said. “We can’t have that.” He quickly ran into the recording booth. Cordelia ran after him, pounding on the door.

“Sammy! Don’t do this!” She screamed, even as his voice blared over the loudspeaker. The door deeper into the studio was opening. Her throat was raw as she screamed Sammy’s name over and over. Behind her, Henry had gotten free.

“Come on, we have to go.” He said, grabbing her by the shoulder.

“No! I can’t leave him!” She sank to her knees, sobbing into her hands.  Henry looked back to the searchers popping up. Then he ran. The door to the recording booth opened, showing the puddle of ink that had once been Sammy. She gathered his mask in her arms, holding it to her chest.

“You said everything was going to be okay.” She said. “Why did you lie to me?”

.

.

Joey and Henry had gotten into fights before, but never one like this. This was a battle for the ages, a battle….of cartoons. The two creators had gotten into a fight about who was really the better artist, each thinking they were superior, and now they were going to have an art off. The challenge was to draw the three toons in their own respective styles.

“Are you sure we should be letting them do this?” Wally whispered to Bendy as the two men set up their stations.

“Eh, it’s fine,” Bendy said. The little demon was currently riding high on his newly appointed power. He, Alice, and Boris would be the judges in this little contest, and he was rather excited to watch Joey and Henry beg for his approval. Wally saw the dangerous look in the demon’s eyes and groaned. He was standing by with his bucket and mop in case things got messy, AKA in case they started throwing ink at each other.

“Ready, set, go!” Bendy crowed, scrambling back to his chair to watch the proceedings. Alice filed her nails, pausing every so often to examine them. Boris watched intently, trying to be serious. Wally just leaned on his mop, watching as the two men drew frantically. He wondered if it was bad that something like this was normal for him. Nothing in his life was really normal anymore. After a few minutes, both Henry and Joey proudly displayed their drawings. Henry’s was in the style of the show. It wasn’t unexpected that he’d draw that way, given he was one of the main animators. Joey’s drawing was in a similarly cartoony style but a bit more stylized. His style was darker than Henry’s. Creepier. Bendy whistled as he looked over the drawings.

“Good show, both of ya.” He said, handing them back once the other two turns had a look.

“So, who won?” Joey asked eagerly. The toons looked at one another, then made a big show of huddling together and whispering. After a moment, they broke apart, all looking very serious.

“The winner is…” Alice cleared her throat.

“Wally!” Bendy made jazz hands towards the janitor, who just stood there shaking his head. He should have known they’d pull something like this. Henry and Joey stood there, mouths open as they stared at the toons. The toons looked rather proud of themselves. Wally got his mop ready. The ink fight was incoming. Sure enough, a few minutes later he could himself hiding behind a table as Henry and Joey faced off against their creations in a giant ink fight.

“Why did I agree to do this?” He muttered to himself.

.

.

Allison Pendle had not been having a good day. She’d thought her first day would be better. Instead, everyone had treated her like some kind of interloper. Like she wasn’t supposed to be there. The music director had been frigid at best, and a few of the interns had screamed at her for taking Susie’s job. Allison didn’t understand what she’d done wrong. She’d just applied for an intern position. It was Joey Drew who’d been the one to give her the voice acting job. The end of the day found her crying in a stairwell. Most everyone had left by that point, so she wasn’t afraid of anyone coming across her.

“A rose for your woes?”

She looked up abruptly to see Joey Drew standing beside her, holding out a single red rose.

“T-Thank you.” She sniffed, taking the flower.

“What’s wrong?” He sat down beside her.

“E-Everyone’s treating me like I shouldn’t be here,” Allison explained as she tried to wipe her tears away. “I don’t understand. It’s not my fault Miss Susie got fired.”

“I know.” Joey snaked an arm around her shoulder, drawing her close to him. “I’d hoped your first day would go better, honestly. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” She said quickly. “You couldn’t have known this would happen.”

“Yes, but I feel some of the responsibility falls to me,” Joey said with an apologetic smile. “The change was rather abrupt. I should have given everyone some warning. Even you were caught off guard by my decision.”

“Yeah. I kind of was.” Allison admitted, hugging her knees. “B-But it’s okay. Really, it is.”

“I do hope you’ll still stay,” Joey said. “I see great things in your future, my dear. You can be a star.”

“You really think so, Mr Drew?” Allison looked at him with shining eyes.

“I do.” He smiled at her. “And please, call me Joey.”

[ravensinsanity]

King Of The Poisoned Youth - Chapter THREE

Fandom: Once Upon A Time

Read chapter one here.

Read chapter two here.

Previous Chapter (2) Refresh: Pan urged Raven to travel upriver (unbeknownst to her, farther away from the pirates, and her father Captain Hook). Pan confronted Hook and taunted him about Raven’s memory loss and how he’d make sure he wouldn’t find her.

CHAPTER 3

I scraped my dagger vigorously over a long, thick stick I’d picked up on my trek upriver. I was carving the end into a sharp point, making myself a spear. I was focused so intently on it that I didn’t realize Pan had appeared.

“Carving a spear, eh?”

I jumped at the voice, finally noticing Pan standing a few feet from me.

“Would you quit doing that?” I said irritably, wiping sweat off my forehead with my arm.

“Doing what?” Pan asked innocently.

I probed my finger along the tip of the spear, feeling its sharpness. “Appearing out of nowhere and just start talking. One day you’re gonna give me a heart attack.”

He chuckled. “Guess you’re just going to have to get used to it, Raven.”

I stood up, tucking my dagger back in its sheath, and Pan’s gaze rested on the spear. “What’s that’s for?”

“Fishing,” I replied simply. “Or, it can double as a weapon.” I pointed it at him in meaning, before turning to the river. I crouched low by the bank, hoping I wouldn’t have to wade in. I’d seen fish flit by beneath the water close to the bank all day long, it would be the worst luck if they disappeared now.

“I’ve come here to warn you,” Pan said after a few moments.

I looked back at him, suddenly wary. “Of?”

“Pirates,” he said. “They’ve come to the island. And they’re looking for you.”

My eyes widened, the briefest moment of hope sparking in my chest before I remembered he’d said ‘warning’. “Why would pirates be looking for me?”

“To kill you.”

Oh. Dread dropped heavily in my stomach along with a trickle of fear. “I wonder what I did…” My voice was quiet, almost hoarse.

“Obviously something bad,” Pan stated. “I ran into them, and they told me everything. Said you’d jumped off their ship when you got the chance, next thing they knew they were tipped off by a mermaid that you were seen here on Neverland. Said there’s a bounty on your head and they intend to get it.”

My hands were slick with sweat—caused by both the heat and this horrible news. “So that’s why I awoke in the water.” It made sense. “Somehow...I lost my memories after jumping off the ship.”

“There was a terrible storm the night before I found you,” Pan put in helpfully. “It made the ocean treacherous and deadly. It seems you survived but not without a price, my dear.”

I gritted my teeth. “My memories.” The price of my life was that I’d lost my memory of everything. And pirates were here to kill me. “But I don’t even remember what I did.” I got up and looked around at the trees, as if there were sword-wielding men hiding behind each bush. “How many are there?”

Pan smiled, which I found was disconcerting given the conversation. “A lot.” And now his smile just got all the more creepier.

“Oh god, they’re going to catch me, Pan,” I started to pace. “There’s no where I can go on this island. I don’t even know my way around Neverland. And I’m only one person. There’s tenfold of them against me.” My heart was pounding inside my chest again. “I’m so freaking dead. And it makes it all the worse that I can’t remember a thing I did!”

“No worries.” Pan shrugged. “I directed them to the other side of the island.”

“Thanks, Pan, but it doesn’t make much of a difference,” I stared at him with deep worry furrowing my eyebrows. “It just delays the inevitable. They’re going to catch me sooner or later.”

“I seriously wouldn’t fret so much if I were you.” Pan was so nonchalant, I envied him. Then again, he wasn’t the one being hunted by pirates. “If they’re nearby I’ll warn you.”

“You’re not always around,” I pointed out.

“I have my ways,” he said vaguely.

With a groan of frustration, I chucked my spear to the ground and flopped down. “Can’t catch a fish now,” I muttered. “Since I need a fire to roast it, and a fire would give my location away.”

“There’s a mango tree a little ways that way,” Pan offered, jerking his head to the treeline.

“Why are you helping me?” I questioned for what seemed like the hundredth time, utterly puzzled. “Why not just let the pirates capture me?”

Pan laughed, yet it wasn’t genuine, it was more knowing, but I of course had no idea what the meaning behind it was. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Fun?” I repeated. “You’re not the one wanted dead.”

“Oh, it’s plenty of fun,” Pan insisted. “If you play your game right.”

“This is not a game,” I said sternly.

“It is for me.” Before I could reply, Pan hefted the spear off the ground and tossed it to me. “Go find that mango tree,” he said. “You’re looking pretty hungry.” And with that he disappeared into the blue.

Later that day, I was sitting up in the mango tree, having already eating three mangos. I thought over my memory loss, and more worrisome, the pirates trying to kill me. I desperately wanted to know what I’d done that was so bad. Had I murdered someone? I looked at my hands, and couldn’t imagine myself doing it. Maybe I stole something really valuable? I banged the back of my head on the tree, trying to knock loose an image. A line of dialogue. A scent that might spark ideas. Anything. And yet I found nothing.

“Mind if I join?”

I looked down between the many branches that separated me from the ground to see Pan standing below, looking up. “If I said yes, would you still come up?” I called.

“Yes.” Pan hooked his arms around the lowest branch and swung himself up. Then, very nimbly and swiftly, he worked his way upwards. In less than a minute he was crouched on the sturdy tangle of branches next to me.

“Wow, that was...fast.” I said.

“I’m a natural.” Pan grinned, plucking a mango and taking a bite from it. “So, still not remember anything?”

“Nope. Um...Pan….” I trailed off, wondering how I should ask the question that had been pricking my mind for a while.

He looked at me expectantly, chewing.

“Do you think you could find out more about me from the pirates?” I asked hesitantly. “Like, what I did? Where I came from, maybe?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Pan replied after swallowing another bite of the mango.

“Thanks.”

Then silence. I felt a little awkward.

“Who are you king of?” I wanted to know suddenly. The day we’d met he’d said there were no kings in Neverland, just him. So surely he led some group of people?

Pan stared at me, a smile forming on his lips. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

“What does that mean?” I frowned.

With the mango only half-eaten, Pan let it drop to the ground. “King,” he repeated, ignoring my question. “I like that.” He clasped his hands behind his head. “You can keep referring to me as King if you want.”

“King of what?” I pushed.

“King of Neverland.” he declared.

“So, just the island?” I said flatly. “Nothing else?” No people?

“King of your bed.” His mouth curved in a suggestive smirk, and he slightly waggled one eyebrow.

“I don’t have a bed,” I glared at him to mask the butterflies that fluttered in my stomach. “You know, Pan, you seem to know exactly what to say to make me uncomfortable.”

He snickered softly. “You make it easy.”

I scooted back on my branch a little, my butt becoming sore from sitting on it for so long. “So you admit you’re provoking me on purpose? How cocky of you.”

“Say ‘cocky’ again.” Pan urged. “Your mouth looks provocative when you do.”

“Creep.” To show just how done I was with Pan’s suggestive comments, I lowered myself off the branch with my arms, climbing down the rest of the way. I jumped the last few feet to the ground and when I landed I turned to see Pan standing right in front of me. I inhaled sharply, taken by surprise. “And would you quit teleporting everywhere?”

“Not until the day I die, love.” Pan gave me a fox-grin. “Which won’t be anytime soon.”

I patted my dagger’s sheath. “You can’t be sure.”

“Is that a threat?” Pan looked at me as if I were a kitten and he was a wolf, which made me feel very indignant, especially since I had a feeling he was mocking me from when I had asked the very same thing of him yesterday. “You can’t kill me with that pathetic little knife,” he scoffed (gif).

“Wanna bet?” I challenged, but really I didn’t intend to stab him, it was just a show of defiance.

Pan laughed in a way that set me on edge, spreading his arms out wide. “Give it your best shot, lad.”

I stared at him like he was crazy.

“Go on,” he encouraged.

“There’s no way you’re being serious.”

“What makes you think I’m not?” Pan said. “That dagger won’t kill me. You can plunge it right into my heart, twist it around and wrench it out, and I’ll still be standing strong.” His words were tinged with a sinister exhilaration.

The impulse to feel scared fired through me, but I told myself that was exactly what Pan wanted. Standing my ground, I shook my head. “I won’t believe it till I see it.”

“You underestimate how powerful I am,” Pan cocked his head at me.

“Why do you keep coming back?” I demanded instead, veering off to another, more important subject.

“Your eyes, Raven. Those dark brown eyes are surprisingly irresistible.”

Startled not so much by his reply, but that part of me responded positively to it, I took a step back. “You’re quite the charmer, aren’t you?” I rolled my eyes to show him how ridiculous I thought he was, but also to hide the fact that I liked it. “Sorry, but I’ve got bigger things to worry about. Say, I don’t know, maybe a whole band of pirates hunting me down as we speak!”

“And I told you not to worry,” Pan smiled again (gif). “I’ve got it taken care of.”

“I’ll stop worrying when they’re gone.” I muttered.

“Keep moving, Raven.” Pan told me. “Can’t stay in one spot for very long when you’ve got a bounty on your head.” He started walking away.

“Thought you had it covered?” I said mockingly. “And where are you going?”

“I’m a King, aren’t I?” Pan turned around, walking backwards as he spoke. “I’ve got places to be, duties to take care of.” He kept going a few paces, before turning a corner and the undergrowth swallowed him up from view.

Knowing it was pointless, I hurried after him. When I reached the spot where I’d lost sight of him, he was gone. No tracks, no trail. And it left me with the same question every time: where does he go?

➶ ➶ ➶ ➶ ➶ ➶

Pan watched, hidden in the shadows, as Hook stomped through the undergrowth, muttering curse words and slashing his sword to cut tangles of vines or overhanging elephant ears from his path.

“Any luck?” Pan asked, revealing himself.

Hook turned to face him, his face darkening with malice. “I was starting to wonder when you’d show your rat face again.”

“Rat face, eh?” Pan repeated, arching an eyebrow. “That’s new. Raven calls me King.”

“Aye, and pigs will fly before I believe that.” Hook spat. “You can’t keep Raven forever, mate. Mark my words, when I find her, and I will, you’ll wish you were never even born.” His voice was drenched in quiet fury.

“What’s stopping you from keeping good on your word now?” Pan asked complacently.

Without warning, Hook lashed his sword at Pan with a grunt of rage, but Pan nimbly disappeared and Hook’s sword lodged into a tree instead of a body.

Pan reappeared behind Hook, grinning smugly. “Nice try.”

“I will get her back!” Hook snarled, pulling on his sword. He was staring at Pan with so much hatred, it would’ve sent any other person begging for mercy.

“Oh, and I’d like to see that.” Pan smirked. “You see, since Raven’s lost her memories, it’s so easy to feed her lies. And you know me, I like action. So I told her….you are here to kill her. So even in the slim chance of you two stumbling into each other, she’ll take off in the other direction.”

“You bloody bastard!” Hook managed to yank his sword out of his tree and he lunged at Pan again, just nicking his arm before Pan swiftly dodged.

“Is that all you got?” Pan scoffed, looking at his cut arm with amusement. “It felt like a tickle.” And with that he disappeared.

“I will kill you!” Hook roared into the empty night.

➶ ➶ ➶ ➶ ➶ ➶

That night, I lay there in a fetal position and swung out my dagger at every little sound, convinced the pirates would find me while I slept. But eventually, exhaustion got the best of me, and I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

The blackness dissolved and I found myself on a ship, being pelted with rain. Flashes of white lit up the sky behind the dark gray clouds in split-second intervals. The thunder was deafening. The sea rose as great as mountains, anger in the form of water, turbulent and unforgiving. The waves grew so large that the ship was dwarfed, riding up and down the mighty swelling sea like a child's toy. There was no mercy in the sheeting wind, no grace in the waves, only wrath and tempest. The air was thick with a briny mist, the deck awash with salty waves. I tried clinging desperately to a rope that swung off a mast, and I realized I was yelling, but I had no idea what I was saying, for my words were whipped away and lost into the wind as soon as they left my mouth. My clothes were soaked, my hair clinging to my skin, and my whole body gripped the rope so tightly I lost feeling in my fingers.

Suddenly, a giant wave bigger than I’d ever seen came hurling at the ship. It violently smashed into it, nearly tipping the vessel over. I lost my grip on the rope as it tipped along with the ship. Now I was falling, falling, screaming in pure fear and panic. My back hit the side of ship, which knocked me head over heels in mid-air. Then time slowed, quiet literally, as nothing in dreams were impossible. Someone else was there, and despite the high chance of crashing into the sea like I was, he raced along the tilted deck, reaching out for me in a hopeless attempt to grab me. But he was too far away, and the violent rocking of the ship, followed by the waves splashing over it, would never allow him to reach me in time before I was lost to the raging ocean forever. I could only make out the shape of his body—a large man in a long, leather coat. Something glinted in his left hand, some kind of weapon—and that was all I saw before I hit the water. I saw the thrashing water rushing up to me, but could barely process my utter terror before the frigid darkness engulfed me. An equal amount pain and agony shot through my body, and that was my cue to wake up.

My eyes snapped open to see the moon illuminating the tree branches above. I sat up, damp with sweat. “It was just a dream,” I breathed out to calm my racing heart. The dream danced vividly in my head. Why had it felt so real? Was it my brain trying to conjure up what it was like when I escaped the pirate’s ship? Or was it...a memory?

That can’t be possible, I told myself. Memories don’t appear in dreams like that. No way. But who knew? If you’d lost your memories, maybe they did. And if that was the case, then it proved Pan’s warning true. I lowered myself back down, but I didn’t shut my eyes. I replayed the dream in my head, trying to capture every detail before it faded. If it was a memory, I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to be.

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine Valentines Challenge Drabble - “Outside In” (Rated G)

There's a man that Kurt's been trying to work up the courage to meet, but what Kurt doesn't know is that there's a possibility that the feeling's mutual. (1508 words)

Written for the Klaine Valentines Challenge 2017 prompt "Your Song".

Read on AO3.

“Oof! Oh my God! I’m so sorry!”

“No, I’m sorry. I should look where I’m going.”

“Well, so should I, so I guess we’re both at fault.” Kurt kneels down to pick up his dropped books, a few of them being handed to him while he shuffles through a mess of papers that are part his sheet music and part someone else’s Music Theory notes. He passes the notes along to their owner, peeking up and smiling at a set of hazel eyes he’s seen more than once, a pair of rosy lips he’s envied time and again, and a face he’s wanted to find the nerve to talk to, but hadn’t yet.

This isn’t the way that Kurt wanted to meet this man, colliding with him on his way out of the NYADA campus coffee shop, but he’s not exactly complaining.

Kurt catches a name on the cover of what looks like an essay.

“Blaine Anderson?” he asks, praying that that’s this man’s name and not the name of a close friend … or boyfriend. “Is that you?”

“That’s me,” the man says, exchanging his essay for a few manuscript pages. “And these say Kurt. Are you Kurt?”

“Kurt Hummel.” Kurt juggles a book and a few loose pages to extend a hand for Blaine to shake. Blaine has a nice, firm handshake.

A soft, warm handshake, and Kurt feels himself melt in his boots.

“Uh … so, you’re a music student?” Kurt asks, opting for small talk instead of silence since this clean up and sort is taking more time than he anticipated.

“Composition,” Blaine says. “Hoping to become a song writer. And you?”

“Musical theater,” Kurt says, slipping his books and papers into the messenger bag slung over his shoulder. “Hoping to become the next Neil Patrick Harris.” Kurt chooses that name in the hopes that that will be hint enough about his sexual orientation, as opposed to leading with, I’m gay. And you? “I wondered why it was I only ever see you in the coffee shop and not in any of my classes.”

Another on-purpose slip, subtly cluing Blaine in to the fact that Kurt’s noticed him before. Kurt has never been forward. He usually keeps his infatuations to himself. But it’s taken Kurt this long to talk to this man. The universe pretty much had to drop Blaine in his lap. Kurt doesn’t know if that’s a sign or not, but he’s not going to let this opportunity pass him by.

“Yeah, yeah, I … wondered that, too.” Blaine smiles, looks away, adorably shy as he gathers up the last of his things. Kurt bites his lip. So perhaps Blaine has scoped Kurt out, too, once or twice? Very interesting.

Kurt’s fingers stumble through more papers while he steals a second to scowl up at two young women who groan, “Excuse me,” instead of doing anything close to helping. When Kurt looks back down, there are only two sheets of paper left. He and Blaine both reach for one.

“Uh, I think this one’s yours.” Blaine hands Kurt a blurry photocopy of “On the Street Where You Live” that Kurt had tucked away for scratch paper.

“And this one’s got to be yours.” Kurt doesn’t notice the nervous way in which Blaine reaches for it since his eyes have snagged on a dedication that makes Kurt furrow his brow. “Wait. What’s this?”

“Oh, it’s uh … nothing,” Blaine says. The top right corner curls under Blaine’s fingertips as he tries to grab it back, but Kurt moves it away. When Blaine tries one more time, inching closer to get a better hold, Kurt stands up. Kurt knows he probably shouldn’t be reading someone else’s work without their express permission, but he can’t help himself.

It’s not obvious from the lyrics (for a song entitled “The Muse”). It could just be a plain old love song. But from the dedication at the bottom (and Kurt hopes he’s not being conceited), he thinks this song may be about him –

For the guy at the coffee shop with the perfect hair and the diamond eyes, who’s never going to notice I exist.

… alongside a tiny, rudimentary sketch of Kurt’s favorite hippo head brooch.

“Blaine?” Kurt raises his eyes and finally hands the page over. “Is my ego going into overdrive, or is this …?”

“Yeah,” Blaine says, resigned. He grabs the page with a little less care than Kurt would like and shoves it in with the rest. “It’s a song … about you.”

Kurt wants to smile, but he feels lousy. He really shouldn’t have read it. He takes for granted that they attend a performing arts university. Songs and plays and stories are considered assignments here, and most of those are written for public consumption. But some aren’t. Some of them are an expression of their souls. The stories of their lives. “It’s beautiful but … I don’t understand.”

“I …” Blaine shuffles out of the doorway and over to a far wall when another pair of irate students push past, and Kurt follows. “I’ve watched you come in here every day since the beginning of the semester. I’ve watched you order coffee, hang out with your friends, talk on the phone ...” Blaine smiles, a little guilty, a little dreamy “… I’ve memorized your smile, the way your eyes crinkle in the corners when you laugh, the shade of dusty rose your cheeks turn, the sound of your voice when you’re reading through a piece of music ...” Blaine sighs. “You inspire me.”

Kurt takes a breath in, but he doesn’t let go. He considers everything that Blaine just said, and goes with his gut – an anxious gut that suddenly has no filter. “That’s … kind of creepy.” Blaine stares at Kurt, mouth agape, the hurt in his eyes almost tangible. “I’m sorry,” Kurt says with a nervous hiccup. “It is.”

“I was going for romantic,” Blaine says with a self-depreciating shrug, “but …”

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing then that I’m a little creepy, too.”

Under Blaine’s confused gaze, Kurt reaches into his messenger bag and pulls out a sketchbook - a well-used one, the cover worn, the color faded where it’s been held for long periods, the pages bent at the edges from leaning against Kurt’s stomach while he draws. Kurt peeks to make sure Blaine is still watching - and he is, with an almost childlike curiosity. Kurt opens the book, landing on a sketch in the very middle, a simple black and white portrait … of Blaine.

Kurt offers Blaine the book, and Blaine takes it, carefully flipping through the pages. There are, of course, pictures of things other than Blaine – outfits Kurt’s designed, portraits of friends, set designs for the winter musical … but most of the pictures in that book are of Blaine – Blaine sitting at the coffee shop reading a book, writing, drinking, staring with a far-away look in his eyes, a look that Kurt now knows might have been directed at him. “You drew these pictures,” Blaine asks softly, “of me?”

“Yeah,” Kurt admits. “I did.”

“But, I’ve never seen you draw.” Blaine is no longer flipping through the pages, but examining each picture one at a time, every line, every tiny detail. “I’ve never even seen you carry a sketchbook.”

“I try not to be obvious,” Kurt explains, “so I keep it in my bag. I would …” Kurt’s cheeks pink as he confesses to being possibly creepier than Blaine “… watch you out of the corner of my eye while I was on line getting my coffee. I’d memorize your features, your expressions, what you were wearing that day, and then sketch them out later.”

Blaine reaches the end of the book. He lingers on the final portrait of him, smiling down proudly at a page in front of him, one with vague squiggles to represent words. Blaine remembers that day, remembers the cardigan he’s wearing, the paisley bowtie. If Kurt only knew what was on that page …

Well, Kurt knows now, if only indirectly.

Only one song that Blaine’s written has ever made him smile like that.

“Wow.” Blaine closes the book and hands it to Kurt.

“Yeah.”

“I’m so … clueless.”

“Again, that makes both of us.”

“So” - Blaine blows out a breath, one that’s been building in his chest, making his body heavy – “what do we do now?”

“I think,” Kurt starts, “if you’re up for it, we sit down at a table, you tell me about your song, I’ll tell you about my drawings, and we learn about each other from the inside out.”

“That’s … uh … kind of poetic.” Blaine gestures to a cluster of empty tables. Kurt takes the lead, choosing a table as far from the commotion of the room as possible. “Maybe you should be the song writer.”

“That’s okay.” Blaine pulls out Kurt’s chair, which makes Kurt swoon just a little. “I think I’m fine being a Muse.”

***A/N -  Yes, that's Darren's song "The Muse" referenced in there :D

[anarchetypalarchive]

we must be miles up

aka that ninja ship party (brian/danny) post-concert whippets fic for the wonderful @egocentrifuge‘s birthday rating: m for non-specific dick grabbing  content warning for recreational drug use (nitrous), unironic use of the word ‘tubular,’ and excessive pining on ao3 excerpt:

“Hi,” Danny says, like he doesn’t have his arms full of bright, neon-colored balloons. “How was your shower?”

“Did you rob a clown,” Brian says flatly.

“I have drugs!” Danny singsongs in reply, stepping into the room and letting the balloons tumble out of his arms and go rolling in random directions.

“Are those drugs LSD, and did you take them ten minutes ago?”

Danny laughs at him and scoops up one of the balloons, pops it into the air in Brian’s direction. “No— The concert, remember? You were asking about whippets. And here they are. I made whippets appear. I’m the goddamn whippet king.”

“Ah,” Brian says, letting the door swing shut and catching the balloon before it hits the floor. “I remember. And then I said, ‘after the concert, why don’t you go out in your boxers and buy drugs?’ That was my favorite part of the conversation.”

“These are indeed my drug-buying boxers,” Danny says, agreeably and without hesitation.

Look, Brian is—Brian is hip with the kids, okay?

Really. He spends most of his days playing video games and writing songs about dicks. He regularly performs for crowds of twenty-somethings. He has an instagram.

But sometimes—very occasionally, once in a blue moon—he has to outsource information about hip things to somebody more knowledgeable.

Unfortunately, that somebody is usually Danny.

Danny is, somehow, the youngest old person Brian knows—which is some hell of a feat, honestly, because he includes himself in that list of young-old people.

Meaning Danny regularly squeals with unbridled joy over Skittles, and Danny is incapable of encountering a chair or couch without sitting on it sideways or backwards or upside down, and one time Danny pushed aside a room of eight year olds to get a turn at hitting a Dora the Explorer piñata, and then again to grab several handfuls of cheap dollar store candy.

But Danny is...worldly, or whatever, and perhaps more intune with all things “cool,” not that Brian would admit it. Brian is cool. Brian is hip! He has a phD, okay, he knows things.

What he doesn’t know is why the hell a few handfuls of people in the crowd at their concert are holding inflated balloons.

They stand out like a sea of multicolored jellyfish, or like Bozo the Clown got drunk and wandered into a concert and forgot how to make balloon animals. Brian stares at them from backstage where he and Danny are waiting for the opening band to finish their set, and he wonders if this is the new version of holding up lighters or the lit screens of cell phones.

He says as much, wondering aloud, and glances over in time to see Danny blink at him in surprise before he breaks out into giggling, snorting laughter.

Brian tries to be insulted. Which is—not easy, to be honest, because mostly he’s just appreciating Danny’s face and the way he squeaks when he laughs too hard.

As it is, Danny doubles over and ends up with his ass on the stage floor, legs bent, head between his knees as he, in Brian’s frank opinion, overreacts completely to a totally reasonable question.

“You know, you’re really harshing my quest-for-knowledge mellow right now,” Brian says dryly.

Danny visibly struggles to quelch his giggles. “Sorry,” he says, not looking particularly sorry at all. “They’re, uh, balloons filled with noz, dude.”

Brian gives him a look he’s hoping isn’t as blank at it feels. “Okay.”

“Nitrous,” Danny clarifies, and then, “They’re whippets, man.”

Ah. That one hits. He wasn’t aware that shit was still popular since, hell, the early nineties. “They look like they got lost on the way to a bar mitzvah.”

“My bar mitzvah would’ve been a hell of a lot cooler if these guys showed up.” Danny pauses. “And creepier, seeing as though it was filled with a bunch of dorky twelve year-old Jews.”

“You do it before?” Brian asks, curious despite himself.

“It’s been a while. Used to at concerts and shit. It was…really fucking good, actually.” Danny’s eyes drift like he’s remembering something sublime. “Why,” he asks, reaching up and making grabby hands at the air until Brian rolls his eyes and takes his hands to haul him to his feet, “you interested?”

And that—that’s actually an interesting question. Brian’s instinct is to say no, just on the basis that huffing gas out of a gross balloon in a city he’s never been to before just feels like a less than exciting endeavor.

But the way Danny had looked in his reminiscence—that’s something to consider. And, anyway, Brian is hip, remember, he’s cool, he’s willing to entertain the idea of huffing gas out of a gross balloon in a city he’s never been to before.

“Sure,” he says, shrugging. It’s not like it’s going to happen any time soon; they’ve got a full schedule for a majority of the night. It’s not like they have time to go looking for a balloon dealer in the middle of a crowded concert.

Danny opens his mouth to respond, and then Brian registers the fading applause and the squeak of microphone feedback as their band is introduced. Danny lights up, bouncing on his feet a little. Brian smiles at the fact that Danny’s excitement over an imminent performance hasn’t lessened since their early days. If anything, it’s gotten even greater.

Then Danny’s throwing an arm around Brian’s shoulders, and they’re walking out on stage as they jostle each other in little hyping-up actions, and Brian’s half-blinded by the lights as applause fires up again, and he forgets about much of anything other than the crowd and the stage and Danny.

——

There’s an energy that remains long after the end of a successful show; it usually means Brian and Danny spend far too long meeting with fans, signing scraps of paper and fanart and random objects (a dildo, once, that was memorable) until their well-meaning manager ushers them back to their hotel. By then, they’re near-dead on their feet.

Danny’s got his arm around Brian’s shoulders again as they walk unsteadily down the hallway towards their hotel room. This time, he holds up his phone. Brian smiles tiredly until Danny explodes into an improvised thank you commentary to their fans with enough glee that he’s clearly amused at Brian’s confusion.

Brian gives Danny a small shove and steals his phone from him to add to the video, grinning as Danny swears and stumbles against the wall. They scuffle a little for the phone good-naturedly, shouting over each other at the camera (“Thank you all—” “Well, I thank you all more—” “I thank you all the most—” “Times infinity—”) until a disgruntled hotel guest throws open his door and snaps at them to shut the hell up, people are sleeping here.

The video ends with Danny giggling out an apology over his shoulder as they finally reach their room at the end of the hall.

Brian fumbles with the room key, having to slide it a few times with increasing impatience until the light turns green and he can push the door open.

And then Danny’s crashing into him from behind, shouldering past him into the room. “I call first shower!” he sings out, voice hoarse from the toils of the concert but no less delighted for it as he tosses his bag down haphazardly in the entryway, charges into the bathroom like a conquering general, and pulls the door shut behind him.

“If you think that’s going to stop me from coming in there with you,” Brian starts, struggling to keep the laughter from his voice in favor of a faux-menacing tone, and then he gives up and grins when he hears the unmistakable click of the lock of the bathroom door sliding into place. “A celebratory bro shower,” he calls out over the sound of the water turning on. “Like football players do after the big game? Probably? Dan?”

He’s mostly talking to himself at this point, moving further into the room to claim a bed. The only benefit to Dan commandeering the bathroom is that Brian can now be a supreme asshole and take the bed Dan’s going to want—the one closest to the door, farthest from the AC, because Danny always ends up freezing his skinny ass off in hotels.

That might have something to do with the fact that Brian turns the air down to ‘Hypothermia for Dan’ levels on the totally legitimate pretense of it being scientifically better for the health of specifically and only your balls if you sleep in the cold.

(“You can’t use your PhD in fucking theoretical physics as an excuse to pretend to be an expert in everything,” Danny complained once.

Brian had taken that as a personal challenge and then, well, here they were.)

So Brian takes the bed closest to the door, farthest from the AC, and tosses his duffel bag down before he collapses onto the plush sheets. He’s still buzzing with post-concert adrenaline, with the two encore performances that had left Danny with a hoarse voice but grinning wide, the both of them squinting against the stage lights out into the crowd as the final strains of “Wish You Were Here” drifted out and bled into applause that rumbles and hums in the center of his chest even now.

This is Brian’s life.

Yellow light from the parking lot filters in through the thin curtains, and maybe it’d feel tepid, lonely, if not for the muted white noise of the shower running and steam rolling under the crack of the bathroom door and Danny’s gentle humming, changing keys on a whim with little hoarse post-show voice cracks that shouldn’t be so endearing.

This is Brian’s life and it’s surreal, sometimes more so in the gentle aftermath of a concert than in the heat of one.

Not that the shows don’t have their moments. Danny gets so caught up in the energy sometimes that it’s like his emotions can’t stay within him. More often than not, that manifests as Danny sprinting across stage to wrap Brian in a bear hug after their final song and kissing him so hard on the cheek Brian thinks—hopes, sometimes—it’ll bruise.

But Brian remembers the first time, early this year, that Danny’s traditional end-of-show kiss landed directly on his mouth.

There’s a photo some fan took that’s made its rounds on social media—it’s the split second after Danny kisses him and pulls away: there’s the blur of Danny bouncing back to center stage, and there’s Brian, wide-eyed, hair mussed, mouth open slightly. During the show, he’d managed to compose himself pretty quickly, but Danny discovered the picture within a few days and was so delighted by it he still sends it to Brian sometimes.

And so now sometimes Danny half-tackles him at the end of shows and ambushes him with a kiss—a real one.

And it’s—it has to be an adrenaline thing, a celebratory thing, a raw energy reactionary thing, because Danny never makes a big deal out of it and it never lasts more than a fraction of a second and he never mentions it after.

And Brian doesn’t ask about it.

And it’s fine.

It’s just a thing they do.

Brian kicks off his shoes and lets them drop from the bed to the floor as he tugs his phone from his pocket, pulls up the Instagram app to watch the comments start pouring in on the video they just uploaded.

One day, maybe he’ll get used to their popularity and the virtually instant feedback it provides, the outpouring of support and love; for now he smiles at the generic i wish i could’ve been there! comments, the i was there and it was fucking incredible, the come to my city next!

He huffs out a laugh at someone’s i’m calling the police. danny’s making me confused about my sexuality and can’t really stop himself from typing out a quick Get in line in response.

A few minutes later, he rolls his eyes at someone’s reply of Danny and Brian sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I -N-G. Rolls his eyes harder when he sees the comment came from Ross.

He’s about to reply to that, really gearing up for a stupid, satisfying back-and-forth, when a rush of steam billows out from the bathroom as Danny pushes the door open. He emerges from the cloud of steam, skin wet and flushed from the heat of his shower.

Brian is, somewhere in the back of his mind, aware that he’s staring—and, fuck, he’s never going to learn any better than this, is he; he’s never going to end up anywhere but here, watching Danny like he’s on the outside looking in, like Danny’s not tangible for him, like the way he looks at theorems he can’t touch.

Danny catches Brian staring and grins, striking a dramatic pose that nearly dislodges his towel and almost gives Brian a fucking heart attack. “How do I look, stud?”

“Like a demented Towel Wizard,” Brian deadpans.

“You’re goddamn right I do,” Danny says proudly, pulling a shirt on over his head. He drops his towel to pull on a pair of boxers, and Brian—doesn’t pretend to leer, doesn’t make a joke, just glances away and doesn’t look back until Danny’s towel hits him in the back of the head.

Brian snorts and finally hauls himself out of bed, gently shouldering Dan out of the way and tossing the towel on top of Danny’s damp poof of hair as he goes to take his own shower. “If you used up all the hot water, the police will never find your body.”

“Uh. I gotta— I gotta go, you know what, we need ice, I’m gonna go get ice.” Danny’s laughing as he ducks out of reach of Brian’s annoyed, swatting hands and grabs the ice bucket before darting out of the room barefooted.

The only consolation for the lukewarm shower is that he’s almost positive Danny left without grabbing his copy of the room key, and Brian’s not going to be in a hurry to finish showering to let him back in when he has to do the Knock of Shame.

Surprisingly, Brian gets in and out of the shower with no sign of Danny returning, and it’s only when he emerges from the bathroom with his hair wet and plastered down to his head that he hears—well, not a knock. It sounds more like Dan is kicking the door.

“Property damage,” Brian calls out, and takes his sweet time letting him in, throwing on an undershirt and a pair of sweatpants and fuck you, Ninja Brian likes to go commando sometimes.

He’s not expecting to open the door and see Danny with his arms full of bright, neon-colored balloons.

“Hi,” Danny says, like he doesn’t have his arms full of bright, neon-colored balloons. “How was your shower?”

“Did you rob a clown,” Brian says flatly.

“I have drugs!” Danny singsongs in reply, stepping into the room and letting the balloons tumble out of his arms and go rolling in random directions.

“Are those drugs LSD, and did you take them ten minutes ago?”

Danny laughs at him and scoops up one of the balloons, pops it into the air in Brian’s direction. “No— The concert, remember? You were asking about whippets. And here they are. I made whippets appear. I’m the goddamn whippet king.”

“Ah,” Brian says, letting the door swing shut and catching the balloon before it hits the floor. “I remember. And then I said, ‘after the concert, why don’t you go out in your boxers and buy drugs?’ That was my favorite part of the conversation.”

“These are indeed my drug-buying boxers,” Danny says, agreeably and without hesitation.

And, alright, sure, Brian had asked about the balloons, had expressed interest in trying inhalants—he’d try anything with Dan, the definition of succumbing to peer pressure, the archetype of the teenager doing anything to get a smile from his crush, and it’s not like he’s a goddamn straightedge, hello.

He just imagined getting high with Dan for the first time to look like—fuck if he knows, just something different than a dark, strange hotel room in a dark, strange city, balloons floating in air-conditioning flurries over the carpet.

Danny ducks down and scoops up a bright green balloon, reaches out and bobs Brian gently on the head with it. “So. You ready for this, Daddy-Mack?” he asks, which—that’s not really fair, actually, because aside from the fact that daddy just came out of Danny's mouth, whatever the form, Brian’s still trying to psyche himself up.

You have to give a man the proper psyching up timeslot before encouraging him to inhale copious amounts of nitrous. That’s just polite.

What Brian intends to do is give a deadpanned intonation of “You better believe it, baby.”

He’s pretty sure what he actually ends up doing is giving Danny a deer-in-the-headlights look and blurting, “What.”

This is because Danny blinks at him in surprise, and his tone is concerned when he asks, “You’re not, like, nervous, are you?” which basically makes Brian want to go outside onto the balcony and find out if it’s possible to die from a fall from the fourth floor.

He struggles to save face, to smooth things over with sarcasm. “Nervous? Who’s nervous? Frankly, it sounds like you’re just accusing me of being nervous because you’re nervous. Nice try, Avidan. Of course I’m ready. I’m cool, okay, I’m hip, I do this shit all the time. Let’s go rail a couple lines of coke after this.”

“Brian—”

“But not off of my body.”

“Brian, hey—”

“I know you want to, but this chest is just too hairy and manly, okay, it’s for your own good. We’re just going to have to kick it old school and do it off a questionably-clean bathroom counter.”

“No, hey, c’mon,” Danny says soothingly. “It’s okay that you’re nervous. It’s like you’re actually being honest for once.”

And Danny says it to make him feel better, Brian knows, and he wants to feel better, but for some reason it’s frustrating.

He wants to say, That’s not me—the fear, I’m not that, I’m just standing here behind it wishing I could kiss you.

Instead, he says, “I resent the implication that I’m not always one hundred percent genuine with you at all times.”

Danny snorts. “Yeah, okay, Captain Deflection.”

“Hey, don’t get all psychoanalytical on me. Which one of us has the PhD here?”

“You can’t use that as an excuse to pretend to be an expert on—oh my god, never mind, forget it, can we just do drugs now.”

“Just a minute; I have to update our Twitter. ‘About to suck down mass quantities of nitrous and also dick.’”

“No— No, give me your phone, dude!”

The scuffle for Brian’s phone ends with a balloon clinging to Danny’s hair via static electricity, Brian half buried under pillows and bedding, and the Twitter update reading About to suck mass quantities of dick, so Brian counts it as a win overall.

“You suck,” Danny informs him, reaching up to grab the balloon and pull it from his hair.

“Mass quantities of dick,” Brian reads from his phone agreeably, nodding. “The internet doesn’t lie, Danny.”

“I hate you.”

“Duly noted. Are we going to do drugs now, or do you want to keep putting them in your hair?”

“Don’t say drugs in that stupid voice, holy shit, you make it sound like we’re doing high-quality crystal meth.”

“And yet we’re doing cheap-ass inhalants, which, frankly, I find insulting. I’m not a cheap date, Daniel.”

Danny looks at him fondly. And that—that’s been happening a lot, the ‘Danny responding to flirting with anything other than exasperation or awkwardness’ thing. Brian’s not sure how to handle it. It’s easy to flirt with Danny until Danny stops taking it as a joke.

“Aw,” Danny coos, jumping into bed with Brian and bopping him with the balloon. “I’m sorry. You’re right, baby. Lemme buy you something nice.”

“I want a statue of a dick in my own likeness created with pure crystal meth,” Brian says dully, batting at Danny’s hands before he can get hit on the nose with the balloon again. Jesus, maybe he is Captain Deflection.

“We could probably make a song based on that,” Danny says thoughtfully, his eyes doing that middle-distance thing they do when he’s thinking of possible song titles.

His fingers are working at the knot of the balloon in his hands, and Brian’s gaze is drawn to them the way it always is when Danny’s fiddling with something, unable to keep from watching the pads of his lithe fingers brush against the rubber, his blunt nails tugging at the knot.

God, he wants those fingers in his mouth.

“Ninja Brian’s Crystal Dick!” Danny bursts out suddenly, triumphantly, and Brian startles, torn from his reverie.

He manages to laugh, shaking his head. “I’ll add it to the list.” Along with ‘Ninja Brian Regularly Thinks About Sucking on Danny Sexbang’s Fingers and That’s Not Something He Should Be Thinking About A Coworker, Probably.’

Danny finally manages to work the knot free, and his thumb and forefinger pinch the opening of the balloon closed. “Alright, you watch me first.”

Brian looks at him dubiously. “Right,” he says, “otherwise I might get confused and try to stick the balloon up my ass.”

Danny laughs and bops him with the balloon again. “So stupid,” he mutters. “Just watch, okay?”

Brian puts his hands up in surrender and slides back on the bed until he’s sitting with his back against the headboard. “Teach me, oh great Whippets Guru. Should I take notes? Do you have a PowerPoint?”

Danny’s already bringing the balloon to his mouth, fitting his lips tight over the opening. He flips Brian off with his free hand and then appears to let out the air in his lungs through his nose before he inhales deeply from the balloon. He pauses, then breathes back out into the balloon before inhaling again. He does this a couple more times, each breath getting more shallow, and then he pulls away, pinching the opening closed with shaky fingers as he holds his breath.

His face is flushed, and his eyes flutter closed.

Brian realizes he’s sitting silently, still, attention rapt. He swallows. “Danny?”

A few long seconds pass before Dan lets out the breath in a shuddery exhale. His first breaths of real air come in short, shaky gasps, and when he opens his eyes, they’re glazed over slightly, almost unseeing.

He looks—he looks like he’s waking up from a wet dream, or being tenderly asphyxiated, or coming, and either way Brian’s holding his breath and aware that he’s half-hard in his sweatpants.

Going commando feels, abruptly, like it had been a bad idea.

“Fuck,” Danny says, voice thin and breathy. His gaze lands on Brian as it clears, and he smiles dreamily, contently, the way you’d smile at a lover.

Brian is going to die.

“You okay?” he croaks out.

“God, yeah, I’m... I forgot how good that is.” He twists around a little where he’s sat and then reaches down to snag another balloon off the floor. “Your turn,” he says cheerfully, holding the balloon out to Brian.

“I mean, I—could just watch you again. That was—informative,” Brian says, stilted.

Danny laughs. “C’mon, dude. Time for baby bird to take flight.”

“Why are your metaphors so weird.”

“Just take the stupid balloon,” Danny commands, brandishing it half an inch from Brian’s nose until Brian snorts and takes it.

“Peer pressure turned me into a drug addict,” he intones, grinning when Dan swats at him. He fumbles with the knot of the balloon for a minute until he finally manages to free it up, and some of the gas escapes for a fraction of a second before he manages to pinch the opening shut.

“Don’t overdo it,” Danny says seriously. “You’re gonna get lightheaded, but stop when you feel like you need to. There’s nobody to impress here.” He pauses, smiles impishly. “‘Specially since I’m never impressed by you.”

Brian cheerfully gives him the bird and only hesitates for a second before he bows his head to take the opening into his mouth. He keeps his lips tight, not letting any of the gas escape until he’s ready, and then he follows Danny’s example as well as he can remember.

He lets his breath out through his nose slowly, like he’s doing the opposite of pre-show breathing exercises, and then he inhales.

The gas comes in quicker than he expects, and it takes a moment to figure out the right amount of tension to keep so he’s not overwhelmed.

It’s a bit anti-climactic, not that he really knows exactly what to expect—just like taking in air that doesn’t manage to satisfy the beginnings of a burn in his lungs, the ache for oxygen.

He looks at Danny, who gestures encouragingly.

The burn increases when he breathes in again, and then it happens abruptly, where he suddenly wants to gasp for breath, his brain sending signals that something’s not right, that he’s breathing but it’s not giving him any air.

A fuzzy sort of hum seems to shoot up from his chest into his head, the breathlessness blossoming into an intense head rush, all the small sounds of the hotel room going loud and reverberating, like he’s standing too close to a concert speaker taller than he is.

It turns into something all-encompassing, something more like a rushing tremble that goes straight back into his chest, into his heart.

Brian pulls away from the balloon to gasp desperately and shuts his eyes. Warmth buzzes into his fingertips, and he’s vaguely aware of his hands twitching minutely, and fractal patterns spread outward in a variety of mixing, spilling colors behind his eyes.

It’s almost overwhelming.

He realizes, belatedly, that he’s shaking, that it’s hard to catch his breath, that he’s opening his eyes and seeing without seeing, that when he finally focuses in on Danny that Danny is watching him with faint concern and fondness and—

“Brian,” Danny says. “Hey, Bri, look at me, you’re fine.”

And Brian does look at him, and it’s practically second nature to match the rhythm of Danny’s carefully controlled breathing.

And then—then Brian’s not entirely sure he’s not dreaming, because Danny leans in and cups a hand around the back of Brian’s neck and draws him in to kiss him slowly and deeply.

(Later, Brian will realize that Danny is probably working to coax Brian to match his breathing, to get him to stop hyperventilating and to enjoy the high, but for now—)

As Brian gasps for breath against Danny’s mouth, he’s relieved, somehow, that Danny has kissed him for the first time (truly kissed him, teeth and tongue and no applauding crowd to distract him from it) just after they’ve both inhaled nitrous—it gives him the excuse to be breathless, to be wide-eyed and slack-mouthed and staring at Danny like he's born technicolor in a grayscale universe.

Brian doesn’t want it to end, but eventually Danny breaks away, leaving Brian’s lips buzzing, the rush gradually cooling down. “So?” he asks, smiling at him fondly from where they’re touching foreheads and breathing hard. “What’s your consensus, cool guy?”

“Tubular,” Brian breathes out, dazed and grasping for Danny with weak hands.

Danny blinks once and then bursts into soft laughter, nose scrunching, eyes creasing up. Brian can’t really force himself to be insulted, not when Danny looks as incredible and addicting as he does. “Yeah,” Danny giggles, taking Brian’s hands in his own, pads of his thumbs rubbing at the backs of Brian’s hands like a worry stone, like a security blanket. “Yeah, it is.”

Brian’s pretty sure he’s in love.

“You kissed me,” he says stupidly.

Danny blinks at him. “Yeah,” he says, a small smile tugging at his mouth, like he’s amused. “Further bulletins as events warrant, Reporter Brian?”

Brian gestures vaguely in a way he hopes conveys what the fuck but probably just comes across like I have no fine motor control! “You kissed me,” is what his brain offers up, like a broken record.

Danny’s starting to look somewhat concerned. “Yeah,” he says again, slower. “I kissed you earlier tonight. And, like, last month.”

“Those don’t count,” Brian tells him, and he’s starting to get frustrated, because Danny knows this, of course he knows this, he has to know this.

Dan smiles again, but this time it’s confused. “What do you mean, those don’t count?”

“I mean—” Brian breaks off with an annoyed sound. “I mean they don’t count, Danny, what the hell— Those are just, they’re, you’re just...celebrating,” he says.

Danny’s frowning now. “Says who?”

“Says—” Brian breaks off again, brow knitting. He stares at Danny, trying to understand.It’s like a physics problem he’s stuck on—all the evidence is there, but he just can’t see the answer. “Says… I don’t know. You never make a big deal out of it. I just figured...”

“What was there to make a big deal out of?” Danny asks, looking bewildered. “I like you. I wanted to kiss you. You never make a big deal out of it, either. Figured you were cool with it.”

“I am cool with it,” Brian says hastily, mind working feverishly to catch up. “I am— I’m the coolest with it, I am ice cold with it, trust me, I have no complaints.” He pauses when he realizes Dan’s starting to laugh. “Alright, well, that’s not necessary, it was an easy mistake to make—”

“Shhh.”

Brian blinks. “Did you just shush me?” he demands, incredulous. “Did you just—”

“Shhh,” Danny hushes again, eyes still creased with amusement as he leans in.

He’s not expecting the warm press of Danny’s mouth against his own again.

A faint noise rises unbidden in him, and he hesitates, caught up in the fact that Danny is kissing him for the second time, hesitates because he’s not supposed to be so lucky, hesitates because he’s expecting to wake up.

He feels the wet heat of Danny’s tongue tease at his lower lip, and instinct kicks in: his mouth opens, and he tips his head to make the angle better, allow them both to press in closer. He’s breathless again soon in the best way, like he’s high again but better, because Danny’s nudging his legs apart and shifting into his lap and letting his hand slide from his jaw down to his neck, his collarbone, his chest.

He hears an embarrassing, protesting sound and staunchly refuses to believe it comes from his own mouth, except he’s definitely trying to pull Danny in again as he breaks away, and Danny’s definitely laughing at him again.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you,” Danny says solemnly.

Brian stares. “What.”

“You know,” Danny stage-whispers, wide-eyed. “In your state. You’ve been doing drugs, Brian.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Brian says, and their next kiss is punctuated with Dan’s laughter.

He’s content to do this for hours, making out with (mostly) innocent roaming hands like necking teenagers; he’s so overwhelmed by just this, by his luck, that he’s not expecting more.

He nearly chokes when Danny slides a hand under the waistband of his sweatpants.

“Why am I surprised you’re not wearing any underwear,” Danny hums in between open-mouthed kisses along Brian’s jawline.

“That’s purely coincidence. Also, not that I’m complaining, but why is your hand—on my dick,” he strangles out suddenly when Danny’s hand shifts.

Danny pulls away to look at him. “Well, Brian,” he says, “sometimes, when two assholes love each other very much—”

“Shut up.”

“I mean, do you want me to draw you a diagram, or.”

“Shut up, I meant— I didn’t know you wanted more than…” He gestures.

Danny looks fondly amused. “Can we just set a blanket statement that I want to do conceivably everything with you?”

Brian has to admit that feels fucking incredible to hear.

Still: “Conceivably anything?”

Danny’s expression is wary. “Yes?”

“Raising alpacas in South America?”

“What.”

“Melting down twenty-thousand dollars worth of quarters to make life-sized metal busts of ourselves?”

“What is happening here.”

“Stealing those gay penguins from that zoo and smuggling them back to Antarctica.”

Danny kisses him again, presumably to shut him up, but it’s a kiss with fondness and intent and wandering hands with a destination—

And Brian can’t really find it in himself to complain.