#and what I go through
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the mortifying ordeal of trying to talk to people and absolutely whiffing it
#it is not my best time socialising lately#the urge to become hermit is massive#and like not to be a sad sack on main but it sometimes feels easier to just let people be and not annoy them#at least if you're lonely then you're lonely for reasons you understand... but then yknow#even talking about this online can get random people claiming you're whining or being manipulative or whatever#so. not easy to talk about the very real consequences of mental illness and social difficulty frankly#without coming off like an arsehole#maybe someone else could manage it... but not me I think#doesn't mean I shouldn't talk about it though right?#okay I'm not a sad sack that's unfair on me but still. I think 'getting real' about this shit can be a bit of a downer but#I pride myself on being actually very open and honest about things#and what I go through#and if anyone around me goes through the same I am more than happy to be a sounding board for the shared difficulty#the purpose of suffering isn't to be a Bigger or Better Person for it#there's no inherent purpose to suffering itself#but. being able to use those experiences to help others is something I personally like to do
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I can behave normally around books
#shitpost#anyway guess who brought home 24 new books today?#if you guessed me. well. you would be correct#in my defense I only bought 5#for a combined total of usd#where’d the number go. it was 17 usd#the rest were from me going through what my dad was getting rid of for space and claiming it for myself#but either way#24 in one day is a personal record I think#also I do fully intend to read all of these it’s not hoarding for hoardings sake
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@mariyyum twitter post: Recipes that have been passed down to me by my Palestinian mother 🇵🇸, and I've had the honor of sharing them with all of you. #freepalestine
1: Cheese Manakeesh (cheese pies)
2: Homemade Hummus w/ chicken koufta
3: Msakhan (the National dish of Palestine)
4: Sfeeha (meet pies)
Follow her on: twitter instagram youtube tiktok and her own blog for more.
#I think beyond the death and suffering they are going through#we have to remember their culture and their lives as well. this is what they're fighting for#palestine#free palestine
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The moment FNAF movie Vanessa knew she fucked up
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf vanessa#vanessa afton#vanessa shelly#mike schmidt#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#MORE of Vanessa’s thoughts through the fnaf movie#THIS SCENE especially where Vanessa and Mike have a heart to heart#you can just see on her face when she realizes who Mike is#like literally once he brings up Garrett and what happened to him#you can just see it on Vanessa’s face that just had things click in her mind#she even apologizes later about knowing and not telling him#I can only imagine what was going on inside Vanessa’s head in this scene#she must of been full on panicking#just totally losing it but keeping a straight face for Mike#ITS SO WILD#I feel bad for Vanessa#truly her father threw her in the middle of his evil deeds#she truly didn’t deserve to have this weight on her shoulders 😭
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my favorite fields of mistria boys 🥰
#fom#fields of mistria#march#balor#art#fanart#not much to tag tbh#i do like march too but balor still takes the cake for me#i know i said that other one was my last fanart but i wanted to doodle march he looks easy to draw#and then balor happened too i cant help it#i just restarted the game im taking it slower this time#i really wish the dragonguard heist plan didnt fall through#cuz i wouldve loved to have isa just go try and grab balors keys#hehe#anyway march is canonically jacked right#not as much as his brother but he has the arms right#appearently balors eyes are brown but i have no idea what color marchs eyes are supposed to be#they just look black#love that the children are always on about balor being so mysterious#so real let me join the dragonguards#the amazing thing to me about balor is that i just did not give a shit about him in the promo art up until i met him in-game#like i saw him in the promos and was like cool whatever ill probably go for march...until i actually met him
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you'll make it back.
#WHAT WAS LOKI GOING TO SAY???????#these two will be the death of me and I can't believe that first episode gave me everything ive ever wanted#I'm back in the lokius trenches#can't stop thinking about how connected they are through their timelines#how they're each others glorious purpose#and how mobius was ready to sacrifice himself for loki#and all that in just one episode#UGH#loki#loki season 2#loki spoilers#loki s2 spoilers#lokius#lokius fanart#loki fanart#loki season 2 fanart#loki and mobius#my art#fanart
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gotta say I am a huge sucker for how Adventure Time will sometimes just cut to Princess Bubblegum doing something extremely morally dubious like cutting off a tiny person’s limbs with scissors and then sticking those arms and legs onto another tiny person’s limb stumps but then she'll turn around and go like "Good morning, Finn! Are you ready for a sploinking day?" and whatever atrocities she had just been committing will Never be brought up again.
#whenever I watched parts of this show when I was younger marceline was my fav character but now that im actually going through the whole#thing for the first time it is So easily bubblegum#she is a war criminal she is a lesbian she is Never Going to Die#WHAT a character#the fucken worst. everyone hates her at some point in time and its deserved. she has no idea what good and bad are and I Love her#adventure time#princess bubblegum#bonnibel bubblegum#smokey speaks#500#1k#10k#20k
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i spored the vote in spore [2008]
creatures made from two winners of michigan's 2024 vote sticker design contest
#spore#uspol#us politics#<- for blacklist#i'm fucking Going Through It fellas#walked to the polls and everything. but i got my sticker i've done what i can
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don't you ever read a piece of fanfiction so good you just
#yes im-abanana im looking at you#now i might be wrong on my predictions but#if you take DD's words at face value and make them go through a therapy session w stickler im going to lose it beyond repair#expect fanart of the saga.this is less of a warning and more like a threat#OHSHIT I JUST CHECKED NOTIFS AND SHE STARTED FOLLOWING ME SOME MINS AGO WHAT WHY HOW omg hiiiii
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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
#hazbin spoilers#hazbin hotel#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#analysis#dissociation#look idk what to tell you all#I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense#when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations#he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything#literally I've been there#the difference between him and me tho#is that he can't show it#he's the king of hell#he has to bluff his way through conversations#but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind#and watch him reply to the things he DID catch#anyways#NEW BLORBO????#who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel#and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character#I love him#he's so sad
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pjo tv show episode 5 alignment:
#percy and annabeth mighttttt be switched but grover as gaslight is undeniable#grover lying through his teeth captivated me I was like sweetie WHAT are you doing#annabeth said either help me or leave to a GOD amongst other things which is why she deserves girlboss#percy gatekeeps everyone (but himself) from sacrificing themselves which is as always true to character#pjo tv show#pjo#pjo tv spoilers#pjo tv#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson#annabeth chase#grover underwood#character alignment#a god buys us cheeseburgers#like no one has posted content yet so I’m making something and going to bed#mine#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#humor#no one bully me on the image sizes I’m on my phone at midnight using photoshop without an account#which means I can only layer one photo at a time so each time I have to make it a new photo#I’m bullying myself don’t worry
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
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the headcanon of regulus just being able to cry on command is horrifying but also the funniest thing i’ve ever fucking heard. like i imagine regulus is hanging out with the marauders, post black brothers reconciliation, and him and sirius are bickering and sirius JOKINGLY goes “well it’s not MY fault it’s impossible for you to show any emotion” and regulus blinks. and then just fully starts sobbing.
and james and remus and peter are all like ?!?!?! what the FUCK . RIGHTFULLY SO. and james’ heart is hurting so bad because he’s never seen regulus cry before and he’s trying to comfort him and hold him and regulus, (who is gay and a little shit) is just letting himself be hugged and letting james pet his hair or whatever and remus is like. sirius what the fuck apologize to your brother??????? because sirius has been sitting there the entire time unmoving and he just raises his eyebrows, completely unimpressed and deadpan when he goes, “you guys do know he’s faking right”. and then when remus and james both are like HUH??? torn between bewildered and angry with this reaction, regulus just extracts himself from james, face completely neutral but with tears drying on his cheeks, no sign of the heaving, hyperventilating sobs he’d fallen into literally a second ago and says “i win”. it terrifies peter so bad that he can’t look him in the eyes for a week
#james thinks it’s REALLY hot and then gets so guilty about it because he’s like imagine what he had to go through to be able to do that#and i’m TAKING ADVANTAGE OF IT!!! </33#when regulus was just partially born like that#this is the instance that starts the moonwater bestieisms btw and sirius HATES it#jegulus#i’m sure somebody has made this exact post before but idgaf#sirius black#marauders#peter pettigrew#regulus black#black brothers#remus lupin#wolfstar#long post#regulus hearing that he doesn’t express his emotions and his live reaction being to immediately start crying on cue to prove a point is#the most accurate i’ve ever depicted him i think
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FUNNIEST fucking shit that comes with making Danny eleven years old when he had his accident in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" is the implication following, that everything that happened in the show did too. And I fully intend on (mostly) keeping it like that. There'll be some changes (of which I need to figure out) but for the most part??? Yeah relatively the same.
Like I FULLY intend on keeping Dark Danny occurring 6 months post accident. Do you know how fucking HILARIOUS that is??? That Dan got his ass kicked by a goddamn FIFTH-SIXTH GRADER?? I'd never show my face ever again. Homeboy spent the last ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, only to get his ass beat by a kid who hasn't even lost his last baby tooth. That's hysterical. I'm losing my mind just thinking about it.
AND PARIAH DARK TOO. Imagine being an eons old tyrant capable of dragging whole towns down into your dimension, and you get singehandedly shoved back into your coffin in less than 48 hours by a kid whose bedtime is still 8:30. You didn't even have the time to expand your army! You were still trying to take over the city the kid came from!
And he just!!! Shoves you back in!! Insane! This kid hasn't even been dead for a full year yet! He's still growing in his ghost fangs! And he just knocked you flat on your ass in an oversized mech suit. What the fuck! It's like looking down and seeing a four week old kitten meowing very indignantly at you and trying to bite your feet, except that kitten is also actually a black-footed cat and they have a 60% kill success rate, and oops! Now you're dead. You took too long laughing at the kitten trying to attack you that it clawed up your pant leg and ripped out your throat.
COULD I, realistically, span these episodes out over the course of 2.5 years prior to Danny's family dying?? Yes I could! Do I think it's hilarious (and horribly traumatizing, which makes it twice as fun) to shove all of this into the span of (roughly) a year instead?? Yes. Because the show has such a skewed timeline that I've always just assumed that at the end of the show, Danny was starting his sophomore year in high school. So fuck it, lets go for it!
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#blood blossom au#my fic#danny fenton#danny phantom#if i REALLY want to get into it i'll have to look at the show's episode synopsis and pick and choose which episodes happen when in the year#maybe pull a scarlet lady and have some of the season 1 episodes happen further down the line instead. but i can do that later. for now#come laugh with me at the mental image of teeny 11 year old danny curbstomping ghosts twice is size and thrice his weight.#bruce is watching old footage from the phantom fights in amity and going 'HNN' in increasing concern. he's got his hands folded and his#chin in his hands and he's going (ಠ_ಠ) with his face and he has SO many questions and concerns. for many. many different reasons#first of all he's incredibly upset that danny had to go through this at all in the first place. like no kid should've gone thru this alone#but he. is also. very very softly. going *'what the fuck...'*
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its not my fault i keep playing against Daniel Day-Lewis mfs
#ive got 160+ hours as medic....i know what im doing but some spies are actually just brilliant actors and play in a non meta way#and im so busy keeping your arse alive that if they're going full method on the team - i heal them!#the amount of times people have given out at me is crazy....you didnt spot them either bruv#im not talking about those two times i ubered an enemy spy....corner of shame#ty for the 5k lads#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavy so annoyed he lives through 3 backstabs to yell
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