#and wham rap because it’s fun

[corrodedcoughin]

It is of my opinion that Eddie would actually have a killer falsetto which Steve discovers when he walks into the trailer kitchen to find eddie singing along to the radio playing you make me feel like dancing while waltzing (surprisingly well) with an upside down mop

[ange11icyuri]

❝ PICK A PILE ❞

♡₊˚ ・₊✧

(Couples in the 70s, 80s & 90s edition)

(choose which picture you connect most too)

Pile one (70s) Pile two (80s) Pile three(90s)

what kind of person are

You based on the photo

You chose?

PILE ONE ༯

Your song: Be My Baby — The Ronnets.

if you chose the first pile I take it that you’re an extremely old soul. You would like to have the kind of romance that takes you back to the 70s. You fantasize about old fashion dates with your partner & you like to dress with an older style or have an older taste in music such as Paul aunka, Elvis, the Ronnets and much more. .

You also do things the old way because you feel like it would’ve been better to live in the 70s. You prefer the old rather than the new.

PILE TWO ༯

Your song: Africa — Toto.

If you chose pile two your someone that likes to keep records in your room..kind of like the 80s you probably enjoy shows that take place in the 80s or actual shows from the 80s. for example: stranger things. You’re obsessed with rainbow or colored things like the 80s and chances are you probably listen to 80s music such as Toto, A-ha, Cyndi Lauper, Wham, and much more. You also prefer things like drive through dates, diner dates, picnics etc. You like the old generation better because you think there was so much more to do and better romances back in the day.

PILE THREE ༯

Your song: The Boy Is Mine — brandy & monica.

for pile three you’re someone who enjoys slow 90s songs. You think about dancing with your partner in the kitchen to the songs of the 90s while cooking with the love of your life. You probably enjoy 90s raps, the fashion of the 90s & you like to have fun with your friends and go to the movies.

Maybe you like to recreate the styles of the 90s and wished you lived in that era instead. You’d rather live there with your friends and partners into the 90s because you find 2024 not your era (even if you were born into the 2000s)

Hope you guys enjoyed the reading

If it was accurate don’t forget to

follow like & share!

Dm if you’d like a paid tarot reading:)

[bigstupid69]

I heard you have music hcs,,, do tell..

Honestly I feel like so many people are gonna disagree with my HCs about the choir's music taste, especially Penny and that's okay. I know she "canonically" likes boy bands and I guess Eminem?? But let me have fun. Putting it after the cut since it's LONG

To me, because I wanted to make character playlists tolerable for me, I made her like punk, alternative, and shoegaze music!! Specifically riot grrrl and queer punk, also some stuff similar to the dresden dolls but I think? They might be problematic so uh- (a lot of the bands on these playlists might not be great since they're older so my apologizes) but some of the bands on there are Bikini kill, Le Tigre, My Bloody Valentine, Lush, Dead Kennedys, Plumtree, Brat Mobile, Sleater-kinney ect. Anything that includes a lot of harsh noise and screaming pretty much.

Ocean's music headcanons are definitely going to be the most controversial to put out there since I do not like Taylor swift… And since I wanted the playlists to be something I can actually listen to I did not make her a swiftie sorry. But as someone who has listened to the entirety of the Up With People album out of curiosity (I enjoyed it a bit too much unfortunately…) I mostly based it off of that, I don't think there's much of a defined genre other than just "oldies" so... The only like recurring bands are the Beach Boys, the Beatles, and ABBA, the other various songs I've ripped from the fallout radio that I think sounded in tune with Up With People.

I already stated Noel's music taste in the previous post of their reference sheets, he's goth to put it simply, lot's of new wave included as well, plus overall romantic/sad love songs I think he'd ugly cry to, also included a bunch of old French music that I personally thought sounded nice.

Mischa's music taste is probably the easiest for everyone to agree on, (hip-hop and rap). Made him a juggalo so lots of Insane Clown Posse as well as other bands from Psychopathic Records, (him and Ezra are both juggalos sue me), also included Eminem and the Beastie boys along with more "comedic" rappers like Sir Mix a Lot and the Lonely Island. Plus Solujia Boy, Kiss Me Thru the Phone is the mischalia song ever.

Ricky's music taste is probably also usually agreed to be quirky electronic and or as some people like to call it "nerd music". Lemon demon, Daft punk, They Might Be Giants, DEVO, Oingo Boingo, The Talking Heads, Weird Al, and of course David Bowie but he's definitely separated from that genre.

Constance is the one I struggled with the most honestly. I couldn't pick one genre to describe her either, since personally I feel like she would listen to pretty much everything and be able to bond with like every choir member over bands. The only recurring artists in the playlist I made was, The Cardigans, Kimya Dawson, The Moldy Peaches, ABBA, and Wham!, but I think she pretty much likes and will listen to everything. She seems like a vocaloid fan too, I just got exhausted searching for bands and artists from before 2010 lmao.

Sorry for the word vomit, I am very dedicated when it comes to headcanons for literal dead children apparently.

[kneworder]

steve biggest wham stan alive manifesto. fantastic came out summer of 1983 and i know this was thee album of steve's summer. bad boys? dear mommy dear daddy you had plans for me oh yeah i was your only son? but long before this baby boy could count to three you knew just what he would become? bad boys? stick together? never? sad boys? that's literally him. i know he would have made tommy be the andrew ridgeley to his george michael for halloween if tommy wouldn't have called it gay. young guns is like the quintessential precanon steve song. young guns havin' some fun crazy ladies keep 'em on the run wise guys realize there's danger in emotional ties! i think he would play it while driving around with tommy and carol and ham it up while singing along so it looks like he's joking but he's like. not joking at all he's having the time of his life.

make it big came out in late october 1984 it was perfect timing. he quietly self-pities in his car to if you were there (and if it had been out my GOD it would have been battlestations but the final didn't drop until 86 so we'll make do) for like a week until nancy actually dumps him and then it is non-stop 24/7 everything she wants until he can't pretend to be mad anymore and then we're back to fantastic because i KNOW he was blasting nothing looks the same in the light for months after the breakup. only a fool like me would take to heart the things you said you meant last night.......

anyways. summer of '85? oh you better believe he is blasting the wham rap every single time robin needs a ride to work until she gets pavloved into enjoying it and singing along because this one he's not even pretending to joke about and has so much fun with it that it's infectious. she complains about it at first but after a few weeks he's yelling do you want to work? and robin is screaming NO! when they pull into the family video parking lot.

this is also such a real thing to me because george michael is this preppy popstar with great hair and a leather jacket and a little dangly earring and i truly believe that even if he's a little embarrassed about it this is genuinely everything steve wants to be. i also think that for five years out of high school steve hearing freedom '90 was life changing in a deeply bisexual way and when gm came out (read: was outed) in 1998 it rocked steve's world. anyways.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of packing

11pm, saturday, july 15, 2023

the things i could be doing right now could fill multiple volumes, but i listened to a podcast today about academic (im)perfectionism and am deciding i don't need to feel guilty. this summer's Big European Travel starts tomorrow and I! am! nervois! but i've done some smaller trips recently which helped me work up to this in a way. further media and life musings below the cut.

reading i had a few weeks there where my recreational reading was... a little bleak, in that i was reading things that felt dated and/or formulaic and/or just put me straight to sleep, thereby meaning that i took much longer than i normally like to finish anything-- this was enlivened with two excellent new instalments from two different series i love, anne leckie's translation state and samantha shannon's a day of fallen night.

very very fun now thinking of these back to back. two books were so engrossing, built (and built on) such rich worlds, such good command of the vibes/atmosphere/tone they were going for, but so different! to sound like a book reviewer for a moment, leckie's prose is sort of lean where shannon's is lush, something like that. there's a joke in here based on the meme that goes 'sci-fi is where x, fantasy is where y' but i'm too tired to work it out myself. both of these books say-- so there are incomprehensible beings in your world which may wish to eat and/or destroy you, and some people have found ways to work or live with them, but it is very weird and alien to your way of life. day of fallen night feels more like a climate metaphor, and there is plenty that felt pulled straight from the psyche of the years 2020-2023. both do fun/interesting things with gender and relationships, and both made me want to go re-read their respective predecessors to heighten the feeling of connection and resonance with those other works.

watching mostly dimension 20-- i introduced @yogurtforever to fantasy high last week, and I myself have been working my way through the toy island arc of neverafter-- but here is the place to mention watching netflix's new documentary about WHAM!, of all things, with @yogurtforever and @thehibernatinglentil last weekend.

not being a documentary hound, i never would have watched this without friends, but it was genuinely quite fun! i didn't know a ton about wham! or george michael, which i now realize is a shame because there's a lot to know. making up for it by having the lyrics to their first hit single, the inimitable 'wham rap', stuck in my head for the next 200 years.

listening due in no small part to the wham! doc (and an mama mia 2 rewatch the week before that), i put on a lot of throwback music this week. it ended up being more 70s than 80s, and that got me thinking about how strongly my parents' music taste influenced mine. there are so many good artists from ~back then~ who i have found out about later, because we just didn't listen to them at home? and of the vinyl i remember finding in the basement, you know, it wasn't bowie, it wasn't fleetwood mac, it wasn't springsteen (it was james taylor and paul simon and probably joni mitchell). luckily, summer camp taught me all the lyrics to a bunch of other oldies, and we did listen to the radio oldies station quite a lot, so my education wasn't entirely deficient. i bring this week the don maclean song 'vincent', which i will be thinking a lot about for one reason and another this week.

playing i have, at long, long last, completed my stardew community center. it was a little anticlimactic, after all the travail that went into it, but i'm so pleased. it only took like two actual human real life years! the last thing i needed was a rabbit's foot, and now at last i feel like i can move to the next tier of game play. i remain unmarried, fighting for my life in skull cavern, but now with two small bunnies to love.

making trying to figure out how to eat most of the food i have in the fridge, how to use up things and make the most of what i have and not leave anything to spoil for the next little while, so i haven't really been cooking big projects. i've been 'making' appointments, got my eyes checked, had coffee with two different profs and chatted with a former student about her med school applications, and that's about it!

working on conference paper, which is both a slideshow (graphic design is my passion, this part is mostly fine) and a draft of what might turn into usable words for the chapter i'm working on. naturally i have built it up into the Biggest Scariest Most Important task, and so am avoiding it and finding it miserable to work on. and i still have time! i had wanted to not work on it on the plane, during my travel week, etc., but there is actually time. there's time. and i keep having small breakthroughs, after 2-5 hours of dicking around, which allow me to believe that there is an end in sight. other things to be worked on, for when i have some 'free' 'time'-- newsletter draft that's so very overdue, multiple students asking for detailed essay feedback and grade breakdowns, emails from students asking for other things, recommendation letter, the next chapter that i'm meant to be finishing this summer. luckily, it's a long plane ride.

[pusha-t2024]

What are some funny karaoke songs for an office party?

Office parties are a great way to unwind, bond with coworkers, and have a little fun outside the usual professional setting. And what better way to break the ice than with a round of karaoke? When you bring karaoke into the mix, it gives everyone a chance to let loose, show off their hidden talents, or just make everyone laugh with an unexpected performance. Choosing the right songs can turn a regular office party into an unforgettable event.

In this blog post, we’ll dive into some of the funniest karaoke songs that are perfect for an office party. These songs are lighthearted, easy to sing, and guaranteed to get your coworkers laughing and singing along. So, if you’re looking to add some humor to your next office gathering, here are some hilarious karaoke hits to consider.

1. “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred

When it comes to karaoke, “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred is a top contender for one of the funniest karaoke songs out there. This 90s classic is all about confidence and attitude, with tongue-in-cheek lyrics like “I’m too sexy for my shirt.” It’s a great way to inject humor into your office party, especially if the performer goes all-in on the exaggerated poses and swagger.

Because the song is simple and repetitive, it’s perfect for anyone who may not feel comfortable with complex melodies but still wants to get up on stage and have some fun. The humor in this song comes from its over-the-top lyrics, and your coworkers will appreciate the self-mockery and playful nature of the performance.

2. “Barbie Girl” by Aqua

Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” is another song that’s perfect for adding humor to an office party. This 90s pop hit is silly, fun, and filled with campy lyrics about the plastic, glamorous world of Barbie dolls. It’s ideal for karaoke because it doesn’t take itself seriously, making it easy to let loose and have a laugh.

Whether you perform it as a solo or as a duet with a coworker, “Barbie Girl” offers plenty of opportunities for playful banter and exaggerated vocals. The high-pitched, goofy delivery is part of the charm, and if you’re feeling extra bold, you can even mimic the quirky dance moves from the music video. The crowd will love it, and you’ll leave everyone in stitches.

3. “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey

Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” is a classic karaoke song that never fails to bring people together. While it’s known as a power ballad, it can also be one of the funniest karaoke songs for an office party if you approach it with the right energy. The key is to play up the dramatic, emotional delivery of the lyrics while embracing the fact that it’s a bit cheesy.

What makes this song perfect for an office party is that everyone knows the words, so you can expect your coworkers to join in for the famous chorus. Adding exaggerated gestures, heartfelt expressions, and maybe even a faux guitar solo will turn this song into a hilarious performance that gets the entire room involved.

4. “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham!

Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” is a bright and bouncy 80s hit that’s full of energy and fun, making it an excellent choice for a funny karaoke performance at an office party. The upbeat tempo and playful lyrics make it easy to get the crowd engaged, and its retro vibe adds a layer of nostalgic humor.

The secret to making this song one of the funniest karaoke songs at an office party is to go all-in on the enthusiasm. Throw in some playful dance moves, wear bright colors, and don’t be afraid to act a little goofy. The fun, lighthearted atmosphere will have everyone smiling, laughing, and maybe even dancing along.

5. “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice

“Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice is a song that many people remember from the 90s, but most of us can’t take seriously anymore—and that’s exactly what makes it so funny for karaoke. The over-the-top bravado of Vanilla Ice’s rap lyrics is perfect for delivering with comedic flair.

Whether you can rap or not, the humor in this song comes from embracing its cheesy coolness. Perform it with exaggerated hand gestures, add some silly dance moves, and don’t forget to act like you’re the coolest person in the room. By the time you hit the iconic “Ice Ice Baby” chorus, the crowd will be laughing and singing along with you.

6. “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi

Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” is a karaoke classic and one of the most uplifting rock anthems of the 80s. While it’s often performed seriously, you can easily turn it into one of the funniest karaoke songs for an office party by embracing the song’s over-the-top energy.

The key to making “Livin’ on a Prayer” funny is to exaggerate the rock-star attitude. Belt out the chorus with as much passion as you can, throw in some dramatic rockstar poses, and maybe even use a prop microphone stand for added flair. The crowd will be laughing as they sing along to the iconic “Whoa, we’re halfway there!” line, and you’ll feel like a karaoke legend.

7. “Mambo No. 5” by Lou Bega

“Mambo No. 5” is a lighthearted, fun song that’s perfect for an office karaoke party. Lou Bega’s catchy hit is all about listing off women’s names, but it’s the playful, mambo-inspired rhythm that makes this song so funny to perform. It’s upbeat, easy to sing, and offers plenty of opportunities to add humor through your delivery.

Whether you choose to throw in some dance moves or just have fun with the lyrics, “Mambo No. 5” is a great way to get everyone clapping and laughing along. It’s a crowd-pleaser that’s guaranteed to bring smiles to the faces of your coworkers.

8. “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor

Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” is an empowering disco anthem, but it can also be one of the funniest karaoke songs for an office party if you approach it with the right mindset. The song’s dramatic, emotional lyrics are perfect for over-the-top performances, and the slow build-up to the high-energy chorus offers plenty of room for some playful dramatics.

The humor in this song comes from exaggerating the emotions and fully committing to the performance. You can act out the story in the lyrics, adding dramatic hand gestures and bold facial expressions. By the time you hit the chorus, everyone will be laughing and singing along with you.

9. “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell

Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” is a classic 80s song that’s both catchy and a little ridiculous, making it a perfect choice for karaoke. The repetitive beat and dramatic lyrics are easy to sing, and the song’s moody, retro vibe can be played up for comedic effect.

To make “Tainted Love” one of the funniest karaoke songs, lean into the song’s over-the-top sense of heartache. Add some exaggerated facial expressions or pretend to be performing in a 1980s music video. The crowd will appreciate the humor, and the catchy chorus will have everyone singing along.

10. “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper

For a lighthearted, fun karaoke performance, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper is a surefire hit. This 80s anthem is all about letting loose and having a good time, which makes it perfect for an office party setting. The playful lyrics and upbeat tempo will have everyone smiling and tapping their feet.

To add some humor to the performance, embrace the carefree spirit of the song. Dance around, interact with the crowd, and don’t be afraid to get a little silly. By the end, everyone will be singing the chorus with you, and the party will be in full swing.

Conclusion

Karaoke at an office party is all about having fun, and choosing the right songs can help break the ice and get everyone involved. The funniest karaoke songs are often the ones that allow you to embrace the silliness and play up the humor. Whether you’re strutting your stuff to “I’m Too Sexy” or belting out “Livin’ on a Prayer” like a rock star, these songs will bring plenty of laughter and joy to your next office party.

So, the next time you find yourself in front of the karaoke mic at work, try one of these funny hits and watch as your coworkers laugh, sing along, and cheer you on!

[m0use-house]

Heyyyy little Mouse 😏

For the music ask can you do 1, 2, 6, 10, 13, 16, and 21?

If that's too much for you feel free to cut some out🤘 thx

YAY! ANOTHER ASK!! Oh my goodness so many songs, but Mouse doesn't usually get a lot if asks so that's A-Okay with Mouse!

1. A song you like with a color in the title

Mouse's first thought was Red Flag by Billy Talent but while looking through Mouse's playlist Mouse Found this one! There's also White Rabbit by Egypt Central and White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane

2.A song you like with a number in the title

Mouse wasn't sure if it was asking for a written Number or the actual Number so Mouse put one of each! Mouse could also put One Time by Marian Hill or One, Two Step by Ciara

6.A song that makes you want to dance

Or Dance The Night by Dua Lipa! Mouse has never not got a little Dancey when they come on 😂

10.A song that makes you sad

Future Days because it makes me think of Joel from TLOU and Eminem just has some really emotional songs, this one is my go to when I'm sad but still wanna listen to rap 😅

13.One of your favorite 80’s songs

Oh my goodness how could Mouse ever pick! There's Never Gonna Give You Up, West End Girls, Under Pressure, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, Panama, Don't Stop Believing, Push It, SUPER FREAK, RUNNING UP THAT HILL, AND EYE OF THE TIGER!! There's so many that Mouse loves, Mouse had such a hard time on this one 😭

16. One of your favorite classical songs

Mouse doesn't really have a specific reason, Mouse just loves these ones lol

21.A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

Jolene was obvious. Mouse mean it's Dolly Parton? Who doesn't love Dolly? Mouse also thought of Stacey's Mom, Mary on a Cross, and Jekyll and Hyde!

[scifikimmi]

Omg u opened a can of worms. That is lee seunghyub. Vocalist, rapper, pianist, and songwriter for the band N.Flying, my all time fave kpop band ever. I love the whole group a lot. The guitarist Cha Hun is my bias but they r all lovely. N.flying is under FNC and debuted in 2015 after traveling around the Japanese underground scene and singing in english before getting their korean debut. They mix rap, pop, and rock and like to do funny songs alo.g with serious ones. Before they got an official lightstixk, fans would put potatoes on sticks and they ended up getting named as official embassadors to a region of korea known for potatoes.

Lee Seunghyub is most known for being very kind to strangers on vlive (helping a grandpa with his phone and pretending to be a girls boyfriend so she could walk home safe) and for writing "Rooftop" which is a song that reverse charted to be nominated for song of the year at the asian music awards (unheard of for such a small group). He has a solo album and is exempt from the military due to a leg injury.

Yoo Hweseung is the main vocalist. He was on one of those singing competitions and did well and joined N.Flying after they had debuted. He already did his military time before debuting because his friend signed him up against his will (yikes). He has done well on immortal songs solo and did an amazing collab with lee hongki from the band ft island.

Cha Hun is the guitarist. He is quieter than the rest, more of an introvert. He really loves cats. He and Jaehyun do a youtube show called 2idots where they do challenges and play games and try fun stuff (its eng subbed) and jaehyun always brings out his louder side. They r in the same age line and are very close. He used to do back up vocals before they added another vocalist and I miss it.

Kim Jaehyun is the drummer. He is goofy and loud and emotional and a huge meme. He ugly cried the first time they won a show award and it went viral. His sister is in a kpop group too. He is the other half of 2idiots and he likes to flip his drum stick when the camera zooms in on him. He has a lyrics in the song "Hot Potato" that is a fan favorite.

Seo Dongsung is the newest member of N.Flying. he is the bassist. They used to have a different member but he left the group following negative press about dating fans (it was never really fullly cleared up what happened). Donsung used to be the leader of a different kband called honeyst but they disbanded and he ended up joining nflying! We love him. he is one of those "get u a man who can do both" because he is the sweetest and a total babey but then WHAM! OH NO HES HOT. Lol 😆

They r a no skip group for me and if you want, i would love to sens u some of my fave songs from them. Including some covers that a lovely since they do a lot of covers on utube. (Did i mention im going to see them live on jan 15th????? Im going to die)

I might have screamed... a lot 😳

[tiptapricot]

mk favorite wham songs go

(and why is steven’s wham rap (enjoy what you do) also known as wr(ewyd))

Steven’s IS Wham Rap but beyond what you’ve written in your fic I can’t discuss why I think that yet because you haven’t finished the series NSBSBDBBD But just know it is. For unemployment reasons and others. His second favorite is A Ray of Sunshine because he’s used it to wake up after discovering Wham! through Wake Me Up Before You Go Go while browsing for an insomnia playlist.

Marc will never admit he’s listened to Wham! mostly because he hasn’t on his own, it’s all been through memory bleed/coconscious moments with Steven. By chance, however, he ends up hearing A Different Corner during his early/mid relationship w Layla, and gets silently attached to it. It becomes his kind of cry/bittersweet comfort song and he’ll never mention it to anyone because it’s a bit too personal and he holds it a bit too close to his heart. This man loves so deeply but is so scared to admit that.

Jake has more opinions on Wham! than Marc, but less than Steven. Like when you get into an interest through someone else. He likes Edge of Heaven and Love Machine when he wants a good fun sexy jam, and his softer favs include Heartbeat and Blue, because he likes the soft but sad tinge to both (Blue obvs more than heartbeat).

Send me a fun goofy MK ask!

[thedreadvampy]

bands/artists I was into at 16 that still SLAAAAAAP

MCR

Panic! At The Disco (but specifically I Write Sins Not Tragedies)

Crüxshadows

Scissor Sisters

Infected Mushroom

Green Day

Biffy Clyro

Rammstein

Porcupine Tree

The Killers

bands/artists that at 16 I thought I was too good for/not allowed to like and I'm so glad I've freed myself from my Mind Prison

Rihanna

Queen (wtf teen!me)

Wham!

Kate Nash

MIKA

Cascada

just like. the entire genres of rap and dance pop

anyway the moral of the story is that the best part of growing up is coming back to the fun shit and giving up the idea that your music tastes have Anything At All to prove

and on that basis I'm gonna go see if Franz Ferdinand still holds up because in like 2006 I had You Could Have It So Much Better on constant repeat (that's what physical album media did to a mf)

[keepingupwithlinmanuel]

Lin-Manuel Miranda interview: from Hamilton to His Dark Materials

I know Hamilton remains wildly popular more than four years after it premiered on Broadway because of the intense response to my Instagram post boasting I have tickets to watch it the evening before meeting its creator, Lin-Manuel Miranda. "It's one of my absolute favourite things in the world ever!" raves one correspondent. "It's WONDERFUL and I defy you not to download the soundtrack afterwards," adds another. "I went last night! Second time. You're gonna love it."

The problem, however, is that I'm not sure I will love it. When theatre is great, it's the best thing on the planet, but when it is bad, as I have learnt from the bitter experience of watching three-hour open-air adaptations of Dickens' novels, it is the worst. Musicals are especially challenging: in my experience, you either like them or you don't, and given one of the few I have enjoyed was Avenue Q, which subverted the form, I'm in the latter camp.

Then, on top of this, there is the pressure of hype (and Hamilton has been more hyped than anything this side of the moon landings), and the challenge of taking hip-hop, which I love, out of an urban setting. It can easily go a bit Wham Rap!, or even worse, if you've seen the video, Michael Gove performing Wham Rap!.

It is, however, pretty good. The last thing the world needs is another long review of Hamilton, and I can't say I downloaded the soundtrack afterwards or that I didn't look at my watch occasionally, but using rap to retell the dry story of the founding fathers is inspired, and I'm so relieved that I blurt out my review to the 39-year-old writer and performer when I meet him in a restaurant in Fitzrovia. "I do find that with both Hamilton and In the Heights, my first show," responds the award-winning composer, lyricist and actor, "I get a lot of people who say to me, 'I don't really like musicals, but I loved this.' I attribute that to a very simple thing: my wife, who doesn't really like musicals. She didn't grow up going to see them, or doing theatre. She's a lawyer; when we met, she was a scientist. I have a higher bar to clear than most composers, because my first audience is my wife, and it can't just be a pretty tune."

You might recognise his wife, Vanessa Nadal, whom he met at high school, from the video of the couple's wedding reception in 2010, which like everything Miranda touches, went viral, and shows him performing the Fiddler on the Roof song To Life to his beloved.

Even my withered heart may have been momentarily lifted by it. She has accompanied her husband with their two young sons, aged one and four, to Britain, where he is filming a part in the BBC's slick new adaptation of Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials, though the reason he is in London today is that he has just been the subject of an episode of Desert Island Discs. The New Yorker takes a takes a swig of his coffee, which he tells me he chose as his luxury on his island ("I'm so basic"), adjusts his yellow baseball cap and asks me a question about the unsolicited review: "Why did you feel the need to say it?" There follows the most painful recording I've ever had to listen back to, as I make a bunch of ludicrous generalisations about musicals, speculating that perhaps they divide men from women, or the working classes from the middle classes, or straight people from gay people, or white people from brown people. It only strikes me a few minutes in that not only is Miranda living proof that the generalisations are nonsense, but I am essentially explaining musicals to a world expert in the form - a man who, before the age of 40, has a Pulitzer prize, three Tony awards, three Grammys, an Emmy, a MacArthur Fellowship, a Kennedy Center Honor, two Olivier awards, one Academy award nomination and two Golden Globe nominations to his name.

"Where do you want to start?" he responds with what is, in retrospect, startling patience. "You brought in all this cultural baggage and you're laying it at my feet and I don't know which bag to open." Another swig of coffee. "I think with musicals, it has to do with the way in which you interact with music in your own life. I grew up in a culture where dancing and singing at weddings was supercommon. So, if that's corny to you growing up, or you're taught to believe that's corny or unbelievable, then of course you're not going to like musicals."

...

He spent much of those years doing a bunch of badly paid, disparate jobs, which, given his nature, he nevertheless enjoyed. They included working as an English teacher at his former high school. ("I loved my curriculum. The class was exhilarating once I realised the less I talked, the more they learnt. I saw a future in which I taught at my old high school for 30 years and was very happy.") He wrote for a local paper as a columnist and restaurant reviewer. ("What kind of restaurant reviewer was I? Not very discriminating. If a new restaurant opened, I would go and eat some stuff and say, 'Hey, we have a Thai restaurant. I get to eat first at it. This is great!' ") And he made guest appearances on a number of TV shows including The Sopranos and House. What kind of roles was he being offered at the time? "I wasn't getting any roles! I was always the Latino friend of the white guy in the lead. And so centring ourselves in the drama, telling our own stories, is a big part of In the Heights, my first musical."

An unexpected thing about meeting Miranda is how instinctively he turns to the topic of his first musical, In the Heights, rather than Hamilton - not least when he talks about how he spent one month each year as a child with his grandparents in Vega Alta, Puerto Rico, and was inspired by the gap between his worlds. "In Puerto Rico we were doctors and lawyers. And we're cabbies in New York; we're for the most part the poorer segment of society, and on TV we were always thieves and we were always the Sharks. In the Heights was a response to that. It was, 'Are we allowed to be on stage without having a knife in our hands?' " But then he has spent part of the summer filming a movie version of that musical, which is set over the course of three days, involving characters in the largely Hispanic-American neighbourhood. It is also the project that changed his life most dramatically. The more recent success of Hamilton rather eclipses the fact that his first show, which he began writing in the late Nineties when he was still a student at Wesleyan University, Connecticut, was also wildly successful. After success off-Broadway, the musical went to Broadway, opening in March 2008 and ending up being nominated for 13 Tony awards, winning four, including best musical and best original score.

...

Miranda, described as "a fantasy of the Obama era", has since been active in politics, lobbying and fundraising for Puerto Rico and performing with Ben Platt at the March for Our Lives anti-gun-violence rally in Washington DC on March 24, 2018. Does he feel demoralised by the drift of politics to the far right? "The thing about us all being connected online is that you can read all of the worst news from all over the world and be overwhelmed. You can't let it all in; just act on what you can act on." Should Trump be ignored or fought every step of the way? "It's hard to even discuss it, right, because Trump will have outraged us on two new things in the next [few hours], as soon as he wakes up, and it won't be relevant by the time we're having this conversation. And the same with Brexit, which is just as uncertain."

What did he make of Trump's revival of the phrase "Get back to where you came from" in relation to Democrat politicians? "It's unacceptable. Just because he said it doesn't mean it's acceptable." He leans back in his seat. "Here's my fear of getting into this with you: every time I've done a UK interview, I've said incredible shit and Trump's always the headline, even if I've only said two lines about it. So I'm happy to talk about it, but I'm really scared it's going to be the headline."

I risk another question. Would Miranda ever run for office? "It's funny - I remember when I was a teenager, my dad got approached by pretty serious people about running for a state Senate seat, and he said no. I asked, 'Why?' He said, 'I don't want to have to watch my mouth.' And for me, it's similar. I also have seen in my life, first-hand, the people who get addicted to running, and it's like their moment passed, but they're still running for something, because they're chasing that thrill of winning, and it's about much more than representing the constituents. I would never want to get stuck in that cycle or that pattern. It's more fun writing songs than doing any of that."

Read the rest here behind the Times paywall.

[dustedmagazine]

Dust, Volume 5, Number 12

Matthew J. Rolin 

Ned Starke was right. Winter is coming, and maybe, for our Chicago and Eastern Seaboard contingent, it’s here. That’s a good excuse to find a big comfy chair near the stereo and dig into some new music. This time we offer some hip hop, some finger picking, some music concrete, some indie pop and, just this once, a Broadway musical. Contributors include Ray Garraty, Jennifer Kelly, Justin Cober-Lake, Jonathan Shaw, Bill Meyer and Andrew Forell. Stay warm.

ALLBLACK x Offset Jim — 22nd Ways (Play Runners Association)

ALLBLACK and Offset Jim have collaborated on a few tracks before, but this is their first release together. Their differences, which are significant, make the disc enjoyable through and through. Offset Jim has a poker face delivery that can fool anybody into thinking he’s deadly serious when he’s clearly having fun. ALLBLACK, on the other hand, is known for his goofy humor, but his goofiness is a mask that obscures a poetic psycho killer. Their combination of a healthy dose of humor and true-to-the-streets seriousness—seen here— makes a case for tolerating all kinds of oddball pairings:

“Don't leave the house without your makeup kit Diss songs about your real daddy just won't stick Hey, bitch, say, bitch, I know you miss this demon dick Please comb Max hair, take off them wack outfits”

Ray Garraty

 David Byrne — American Utopia (Nonesuch)

If you live long enough, everything that seemed edgy and electrifying in your youth will turn safe and comfortable in middle age. You’ll buy festival tickets with access to couches, tents and air conditioning. Clash songs will turn up in Jaguar ads. Kids at the playground will run around sporting your Black Flag tee-shirt. You may even find yourself in a $250 seat, at a beautiful theater, with your beautiful wife, seeing “American Utopia,” David Byrne’s new jukebox musical, and, to borrow a phrase, you may ask yourself, “How did I get here?” And look, you could do worse. These are wonderful songs, still prickly and spare even now in full orchestral arrangements, still booming with cross-currented, afro-beat rhythms (Byrne got to that early on, give him credit), still buoyed with a scratchy, ironic, ebullient pulse of life. It’s hard to say what plot line stitches together “Born Under Punches,” “Every Day is a Miracle,” “Burning Down the House” and “Road to Nowhere,” or how absorbing the connective narrative may be. It’s not, obviously, as kinetic and daring as the original arrangements, stitched together with shoe-laces, stuttering with anxiety, bounced and jittered by the back line of Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz, clad in an absurdly oversized suit. And, yet, it’s not so bad and if I had three big bills to spend on a night at the theater, I might just want to see it re-enacted. Because I’ve gotten safe and comfortable, too, and anyway, better that than the Springsteen show.

Jennifer Kelly

 Charly Bliss — Supermoon EP (Barsuk) 

Supermoon by Charly Bliss

Charly Bliss’ latest release Supermoon, collects five tracks written during the Young Enough sessions that didn’t make the final cut. The EP showcases the band transitioning from the grungy edge of their debut Guppy to the more polished pop sound of its successor. Eva Hendricks is one of the moment’s most distinctive voices, and these songs find her grappling with the themes so tellingly addressed on Young Enough. Although the songs here deserve release, the interest is in what they don’t do. More than sketches, they are less lyrically formed than those on the album, more guitar driven and without the big pop pay offs. The band, Hendricks on guitar and vocals, her brother Sam on drums, guitarist Spencer Fox and bassist Dan Shure still produce a hooky, engaging record which will appeal to fans. Newcomers might want to start with the albums but Supermoon is not without its moments.

Andrew Forell

  Cheval Sombre — Been a Lover b/w The Calfless Cow (Market Square)

Cheval Sombre - Been a Lover b/w The Calfless Cow by Market Square Recordings

Cheval Sombre teamed with Luna/Galaxie 500’s Dean Wareham last year for a haunting batch of cowboy songs that found, as I put it in my Dusted review, “unfamiliar shadows and crevices in some very familiar material.” Now comes Cheval Sombre, otherwise known as Chris Porpora, with a brace of soft, dreamy folk-turned-psychedelic songs, one a gently sorrowful original, the other a cover of Alasdair Roberts. “Been a Lover” slow-strums through a whistling canyons of dreams, wistfully surveying the remnants of a long-standing relationship. It has the nodding, skeletal grace of Sonic Boom’s acoustic “Angel,” perhaps no coincidence since the Spaceman 3 songwriter produced the album. “The Calfless Cow” anchors a bit more in folk blues picking, though Porpora’s soft, prayerful vocals float free above the foundations. Both songs feel like spectral images leaving traceries on unexposed film—unsolid and evocative and mysteriously, inexplicably there.

Jennifer Kelly

 Cigarettes After Sex — Cry (Partisan Records)

Cry by Cigarettes After Sex

Cigarettes After Sex’s 2017 debut album was a quite lovely collection of slow-core, lust-lorn dream pop. On the follow up Cry Greg Gonzalez (vocals, guitar), Phillip Tubbs (keys), Randall Miller (bass) and Jacob Tomsky (drums) double down on their signature sound with half the effect. The melodies are still here, the delicate restraint also, Gonzalez’ voice whispers seductively sweet nothings but this time around it is largely nothings he’s working with. It’s not that this is a terrible record, it’s more that the wreaths of gossamer amount to not much. Lacking the humorous touches of the debut, Cry suffers from Gonzalez’ sometimes witless and earnest lyrics which are mirrored in the lackluster pace which makes one desperate for the sex to be over so one can get back to smoking. Cry aims for Lynch/Badalamenti atmospherics and hits them occasionally but too often lapses into Hallmark sentimentalism. For an album ostensibly about romantic and physical love Cry is dispiritingly dry. There is only ash on these sheets. Serge Gainsbourg is somewhere rolling his eyes, and a gasper, in the velvet boudoir of eternity.

Andrew Forell

  Lucy Dacus — 2019 (Matador)

Between Historian and boygenius, Lucy Dacus had a pretty memorable 2018. It makes sense that she'd want to document 2019. What she did instead was release a series of holiday-ish tracks over the course of the year and then collect them as the 2019 EP. The covers will likely get the most attention, whether her loving take on Edith Piaf's “La vie en rose” or the rocking rendition of Wham!'s “Last Christmas.” Dacus doesn't perform these songs with any sense of snark; she's both enjoying herself and invested. Counting Bruce Springsteen's birthday as a holiday might be silly, but she nails “Dancing in the Dark,” turning it to her own aesthetic. The weird one here is “In the Air Tonight,” which smacks of irony and whatever we call guilty pleasures these days, but she plays it straight, arguing for it as a spooky Halloween cut, and sort of pulls it off.  

Focusing on the covers might lead listeners to forget how good a songwriter she is. The Mother's Day “My Mother & I” feels thoroughly like a Dacus number, opening with contemplation: “My mother hates her body / We share the same outline / She swears that she loves mine.” Holidays aren't easy. “Fool's Gold” (stick this New Year's track first or last) falls like snow, laden with regret and rationalization. Dacus works through holidays with care and concern. The covers might be fun (even the Phil Collins number works as a curiosity), but when she lets the more conflicted thoughts come through, as on “Forever Half Mast,” she maintains the hot streak. The EP might be a bit of a diversion, but its secret complexity makes it more surprisingly forceful. Justin Cober-Lake 

 Kool Keith — Computer Technology (Fat Beats)

Computer Technology by Kool Keith

Naming an album Computer Technology in 2019 is like calling a 1950 disc A Light Bulb. Ironic Luddite-ness is a part of the charm of the new Kool Keith’s album, his second this year. The record has a cyberpunk-ish (circa 1984) feel, thanks to wacky, early electronics-like beats that no sane hip hop artist today would agree to rap over. But who said Kool Keith was sane? He’s like a computer virus here, infesting a modern culture he views with disdain. His kooky brags could be written off as old man rants if he been in the rap game since day one. On “Computer Technology” he says: ‘You need to sit down and slow down’, yet he himself shows no signs of slowing down.

If Kool Keith’s 1980s science rap messed around in a high school lab, he’s now a tenured professor in hip hop science blowing up the joint.

Ray Garraty

 Leech — Data Horde (Peak Oil) 

Data Horde by Leech

Brian Foote’s work has a knack for showing up in slightly unexpected and subtly crucial places, whether it’s behind the scenes at Kranky and his own Peak Oil imprint, or as a member at times of Fontanelle or Nudge, or even just helping out Stephen Malkmus with drums. On Data Horde, his debut LP of electronic music under his Leech moniker, Foote works with his customary quiet assurance and subtly radical take on things, delivering a brief but satisfying set of bespoke productions that somehow evoke acid and ambient tinges at the same time, feinting towards full-out jungle eruptions before turning the corner and somehow naturally going somewhere much more minimal. Whether it’s the skittering, pulsing “Brace” or the lush and aptly-named “Nimble”, the results are consistently satisfying and the six tracks here suggest that we could stand to hear a lot more from Leech.  

Ian Mathers

Midnight Odyssey — Biolume Part 1: In Tartarean Chains (I, Voidhanger)

Biolume Part 1 - In Tartarean Chains by MIDNIGHT ODYSSEY

 Midnight Odyssey’s massive new record sounds like what might happen if Gary Numan’s Tubeway Army smoked up a bunch of Walter White’s finest product and decided that they must cover Pink Floyd’s Live at Pompei, complete with ruins and really big gongs. It’s interstellar. It’s perversely grandiose. The synths soar and rumble, the vocals come in mournful choral arrangements, the low end thunders and occasionally explodes into blast-beat barrage. It’s almost impossible to take seriously, and it’s presented with what seems like absolute seriousness. In any case, there’s a lot of it: seven tracks, all of which exceed the eight-minute mark, and most of which moan and intone and resonate well beyond ten minutes. You’ve got to give it to Dis Pater, the only identified member of Midnight Odyssey — he really means it. But it’s often hard to tell if Biolume Part 1 (Pater threatens that there are two more parts to come) is the product of an unchecked, idiosyncratically powerful vision or just goofball cosmological schmaltz. To this reviewer, it’s undecidable. And that’s interesting.

Jonathan Shaw

 Nakhane — You Will Not Die 

South African singer Nakhane Touré has a voice that can stop you in your tracks when he unleashes it, and a willingness to tackle uncomfortable topics (homosexuality, colonialism, and the way the imported Presbyterian church interacts with both) that’s seen him both praised and threatened in his homeland. You Will Not Die marks a shift in Nakhane’s music, both in terms of how directly and intensely he engages with those places where the sacred rubs up against, not so much the profane but the disavowed, even while sonically everything is lusher and brighter, whether it’s the slinky electroglam of “Interloper” or the bell-tolling balladry of “Presbyteria.” For once it’s worth seeking the deluxe edition, for the Bowie-esque Anohni duet “New Brighton” and the defiantly melancholy cover of “Age of Consent” alone.

 Matthew J. Rolin — Matthew J. Rolin (Feeding Tube)

Matthew J. Rolin by Matthew J. Rolin

Matthew J. Rolin steps to the head of the latest class of American Primitive guitarists on this self-titled debut LP. He is currently a resident of Columbus, Ohio, but his main inspirations from within the genre are Chicagoan. Reportedly a Ryley Walker concert sent him down the solo guitar path, but the one time this reviewer caught him in concert, Rolin only made one substance-oriented statement throughout the set, and it was more of a shy assertion than an extravagant boast. His sound more than pays the toll. Bright and ringing on 12 strings, pithy and structurally sound on six, he makes sparing use of outdoor sound and keyboard drones that bring Daniel Bachman to mind. Like Bachman did on his early records, Rolin often relies upon the rush of his fingerpicking to draw the listener along, and what do you know? It works.

Bill Meyer

  Claire Rousay — Aerophobia (Astral Spirits)

Aerophobia by Claire Rousay

To watch Claire Rousay perform is to see the process of deciding made visual. You can’t put that on a tape, but you can make the tape a symbolic and communicative object. To see Rousay repeatedly, or to play her recordings in sequence, is to hear an artist who is rapidly transforming. This one was already a bit behind her development when it was released, but that can be turned into a statement, too. Perhaps the title Aerophobia, which means fear of flying, is a critique of the tape’s essentially musical content? It is a series of drum solos, unlike the more the more recent t4t, which includes self-revealing speech and household sounds. If so, that critique does not reproach the music itself, nor should it. Even when you can’t see her, you can hear her sonic resourcefulness and appreciate the movement and shape she articulates with sound.

Bill Meyer

 Colin Andrew Sheffield & James Eck Rippie — Exploded View (Elevator Bath)

exploded view by colin andrew sheffield & james eck rippie

Colin Andrew Sheffield, who is the proprietor of the Elevator Bath imprint, and James Eck Rippie, who does sound work for Hollywood movies, have this understanding in common: they know that you gotta break things to make things. The things in question don’t even have to be intact when you start; at any rate, the feedback, microphone bumps, blips and skips that make up this 19-minute long piece of musique concrete sound like the product of generations of handling. It all feels a bit like you’re hearing a scan of the shortwave bands from inside the radio, which makes for delightfully disorienting listening.

Bill Meyer

 Ubik — Next Phase (Iron Lung)

Next Phase MLP (LUNGS-148) by UBIK

 Philip K. Dick’s whacko-existentialist-corporate-satire-cum-SF-novel Ubik turns 50 this year, and serendipitously, Australian punks Ubik have released this snarling, tuneful EP into the world. There’s a whole lot of British street punk, c. 1982, in Ubik’s sound, especially if that genre tag and year make you flash on Lurkers, Abrasive Wheels and Angelic Upstarts — bands that knew how to string melodic hooks together, and bands that had pretty solid lefty politics. Ubik’s songs couple street punk’s populist (in the pre-Trump sense) fist-pumping with a spastic, elastic angularity, giving the tracks just enough of a weirdo vibe that the band’s name makes sense. The combination of elements is vividly present in “John Wayne (Is a Cowboy (and Is on Twitter)),” a hugely fun punk song that registers a fair degree of ideological venom as it bashes and speeds along. Somewhere, Horselover Fat is nodding his head and smiling. 

Jonathan Shaw

 Uranium Club — Two Things at Once (Sub Pop)

Uranium Club (sometimes Minneapolis Uranium club) made one of the best punk albums of this year in The Cosmo Cleaners. “A visionary insanity, backed by impressive musical chops,” I opined in Dusted last April, setting off a frenzy of interest and an epic major label bidding war. Just kidding. Hardly anyone noticed. Uranium Club was this year’s Patois Counselors, a band so good that it made no sense that no one knew about them. But, fast forward to now and LOOK at the heading of this review! Sub Pop noticed and included Uranium Club in its storied singles club. And why not? The bluntly named “Two Things at Once,” (Parts I and 2), is just as tightly, maniacally wound as the full-length, just as gloriously, spikily confrontational. “Part 1” scrambles madly, pulling hair out by the roots as it agitatedly considers “our children’s creativity” and whether “I’m too young to die.” It’s like Fire Engines, but faster and crazier and with big pieces of machinery working loose and flying off the sides. “Part 2” runs slower and more lyrically but with no less intensity, big flayed slashes of discord rupturing its meditative strumming. There are no words in it, and yet you sense deep, obsessive bouts of agitation driving its motor, even when the brass comes in, unexpectedly, mournfully, near the end. This is the good stuff, and no one wants you to know about it. Except me. And now Sub Pop. Don’t miss out.

Jennifer Kelly

 Various Artists— Come on up to the House: Women Sing Waits (Dualtone)

Come On Up To The House: Women Sing Waits by Dualtone Music Group, Inc.

Tom Waits’ gravelly voice is embedded deep in the fabric of how we think of Tom Waits songs. You can’t think of “Come On Up to the House” without sandpapery catch in its gospel curves, or of “Downtown Train” without his strangled desolation; he is the songs, and if you don’t like the way he sings, you’ve probably never cared much for his recordings. And yet, here, in this all-woman, star-studded, country-centric collection of covers, you can hear, maybe for the first time, how gracefully constructed these songs are, how pretty the melodies, how well the lyrics fit to them. You cannot believe how different these songs sound with women singing. It is truly revelatory. Contributors include big stars (Aimee Mann, Corinne Rae Bailey), living legends (Iris Dement, Roseanne Cash), up-and-comers (Courtney Marie Andrews, Phoebe Bridgers) and a few emerging artists (Joseph, The Wild Reeds), and all have a case to make. Phoebe Bridgers distills “Georgia Lee” into a quiet, tragic purity, while Angie McMahon finds a private, inward-looking clarity in “Take It With Me.” Courtney Marie Andrews blows up “Downtown Train,” into a swaggering country anthem, while Roseanne Cash infuses “Time” with a warm, unforced glow. These versions transform weird, twisted reveries into American songbook classics, which is what they maybe were, under all that growling, all along.

Jennifer Kelly

[originaldisneydescendants]

So you may have heard that @chiscribbles4smiles and I share a brain when it comes to Older! Varian and Cass ideas. We collaborated on some of these. Hopefully they will make you laugh. These are meant to be an extension of her earlier post which you can find here. If the Read More doesn’t work on mobile then I apologize because this is a very long post.

For example, here's one featuring that fortune-telling monkey that I suspect will show up at some point though I don't suspect it would actually go down like this 100%, I'm mostly using this example for a later idea:

Rapunzel: Wowww! A fortune-teller?! *Gasp* Can he tell me my future? Fernanda: Vigor the Visionary sees all! Go ahead, ask him anything! Eugene: Oh come on, Blondie, you're not buying this are you? Stuff like this is always a total hoax! Cassandra: Not to be rude to Miss Pizzazo, but Eugene is right. This is probably just a scam to get your money. Fernanda: Oh kids these days and their skeptical minds! If you'd like, we can give you a sample telling, free of charge! Rapunzel: No harm in that right? Hmm... oh I have one! Does Cassandra ever get a boyfriend? Cassandra: *Through grit teeth* Ra-PUNzel! Fernanda: *Reading the monkey's spastic hand signals* The Magnificent Vigor says yes! She does! Cassandra: *Crosses arms with a curious look* Rapunzel: *Leans forward with a broad smile* Fernanda: He says your friend's true love, like her, will be heavily armed, sassy and determined. Like you, he is perky, creative and freckled. He is also, how would you say... a dork? Eugene: Wow Cass, I never would have guessed that you had a thing for Pete! Cassandra: *After shooting Eugene an annoyed look* See? Now if I were gullible enough to believe any of this, I would only consider people who meet that description as my possible "true love" and be quick to dismiss anyone else. Self fulfilling prophecy. Scam. Rapunzel: Maybe... but maybe I just asked the wrong question. What I really want to ask is about my hair and the black rocks. I NEED answers! Fernanda: Not a problem! *Holds out hand* Rapunzel: Oh! I'm sorry, we don't have any money on us... but can I pay you with a portrait? Fernanda: *Deadpan look* Eugene, Cass, and Raps get tossed out one-by-one, landing in a dog pile. Fernanda: Cash only! *Yanks curtain shut* Eugene: MAN! She's stronger than she looks... Rapunzel: I guess THAT should have been my free question. Cassandra: *Dusting herself off* Don't worry about it. I don't think we're going to find any real answers here anyway.

One dramatic Redemption Arc later...

⦁ Varian: *Rubbing his arm while hanging his head and avoiding her eyes* I... I'm really sorry Cassandra... I know I don't deser-- Cassandra: *Hugs him as his expression reads shock and confusion* Hey Genius, I TOLD you, call me Cassie." Varian: *Tearing up, smiles and returns her hug*

⦁ Varian: *Amazed as Cass hands him the necklace he gave her* After everything you... you kept the cassandrium? Cass: It doesn't really go with any of my outfits, but it served as a pretty good reminder that somewhere underneath all that rage and emotional turmoil was still the same kid who was willing to drop everything to help me achieve my goals. Varian: *Puppy-eyed smile* Cass: *Teasingly* Don't read TOO much into it, okay. I'm not the mushy feely sort so there's no need to get all misty-eyed-- Varian: Uh, Cassie... *shyly pulls out a tattered blue ribbon and hands it to her* Cass: ... *Looks surprised then smiles softly* *puts it on him* Still a winner. Varian: *Smiles down at the ribbon then holds up the necklace* May I? Cass: *Pulls hair back and lets him put her necklace on for her*

⦁ Varian: Hey Cassie, so the royal wedding is tomorrow. Cass: *Hanging up decorations* You don't say? Varian: Right, *clears throat* so I was just thinking, I know you'll be busy but if you weren't planning on going with anyone maybe you could go with, er we could go as-- as uh... Cass: Hold up! Are you trying to ask me out on a DATE? Varian: Who ME?! Pssshhh noooooo, we're just friends! I wouldn't--! Cass: *Not buying it look* Varian: ... *Rubbing arm awkwardly* But, you know... if you happen to have fun and find that you actually enjoy yourself then maybe SOMEDAY you might consider a... a REAL... date? Cass: Hmmmmm, I dunno. You really think you can handle a WHOLE day celebrating someone else's romance with your 'just a friend'? Varian: *confident look* Uh absolutely! *softening and shrugging a little* The fact that I still get to BE your friend already makes me pretty lucky. Cass: *Looks surprised again then her expression softens a bit* Well... I am the head of security AND the Maid or Honor, so yeah I will be busy, but I think I can save a dance for you at the reception. Varian: Wow, really?! *After she's walked away he silently pumps his fist and mouths 'yessss!'* Cass: *Looks over her shoulder* Varian: *Spins around* I mean, sure, yeah, I-I'll see you then! Heh.

⦁ *Meanwhile just outside in the hall Stan and Pete are giving their commentary* "She said yes, pay up." "That wasn't a 'yes', that was a 'kinda'!" "It was an overall positive response so it counts!" "If that's your idea of romance then I feel sorry for--" "YOU LEAVE MY WIFE OUT OF THIS!" "I was gonna say your readers, since you're writing that romance novel but yeah, her too."

⦁ Varian doesn't care. That goof walks out with a happy heel click anyway.

⦁ At one point during the reception though Varian briefly doubts himself and decides to take a break away from the party. Cass stops him by catching his wrist causing him to turn around in surprise.

⦁ "Not so fast, you still owe me a dance."

⦁ Cassandra resting her head on his shoulder while they dance and Varian just looking like he’s going to implode from happiness.

⦁ Later on, Cass catches the bouquet and turns to see Shorty making kissy faces at her. There's a tap on her shoulder and she turns to see Varian. She grabs him and drags him away in a hurry saying, "I'll take it."

⦁ Getting into shenanigans with Rapunzel, Lance and Eugene like: Cassandra: *Standing on Varian's shoulders to reach a window* Hey Raps, we're all sneaking out to see the circus that everyone has been talking about just outside of town. You in? Varian: Whatever your answer is, please make it quick! Her heel is digging into my clavicle! Rapunzel: I'll be right out! Cassandra: *Losing her balance as Rapunzel tosses a rope of tied together curtains out the window* WHOA! WHOA!

WHAM

Varian: *Strained voice after breaking her fall* Ow...!

⦁ Owl letting Ruddiger use his wing as an umbrella.

⦁ After Varian is knocked unconcious and/or nearly drowns and doesn't seem to be breathing: Varian: *Smiling real big* Was I dreaming or did you actually kiss me? Cassandra: What did I say about flattering yourself? It wasn't a kiss. Lance: Oh, but it was a kiss! The kiss of life! Cassandra: Keep talking Big Guy, and you're gonna be the one needing it.

⦁ Cassandra slowly noticing how Varian is growing up and thinking things to herself  like: "Wow, he's gotten a lot taller since I met him. It's actually sorta--" *smacks self* "HE'S SIXTEEN!" // "He really is such a smart guy, kind and-- NO! No! Nonononono he's just seventeen... ummm..." // *After he gives her a rose and a peck on the cheek* *internally* "Do NOT fall for it! Do NOT fall for HIM! DO NOT GO THERE!! He's--... eighteen... oh no..."

⦁ Cassandra at some point grabbing Rapunzel by the front of her dress in a panic and "I'M ACTUALLY STARTING TO LIKE VARIAN BACK! HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP?!" "Cass, it's okay if you have feelings for Varian. He's not a kid anymore and he IS a really nice guy... nowadays." "BUT HE'S SUCH A GEE-HEE-HEEK!" "That doesn't REALLY matter to you does it?" "Well, no... not anymore, but STILL... *clasping hands together pleadingly* Just, please don't tell Eugene okay? I'll never hear the end of it!" "I won't, don't worry. Look, from what I've heard, a crush only lasts a few months. If that's all it is, then all you have to do is wait it out. It's that simple." "MONTHS?!" "Oooooorrrr you can just come clean now and tell him how you feel. The choice is up to you." *Grabs a pillow and buries her face into it* *Muffled whining as Rapunzel pats her on the back*

⦁ Rapunzel: You know Varian, you grew up real handsome. I'm a little surprised that you're still single. Varian: *Bashfully rubbing the back of his neck* Really? I mean, I guess I've gotten a few looks, but I'm not exactly fighting off admirers with a stick. Rapunzel: *Noticing Cassandra giving a deadly look to a girl she catches staring at Varian while cleaning her halberd effectively scaring said girl off* I think that's been covered.

⦁ Eugene: *To Rapunzel* Big Nose told me. Cass has a thing for VARIAN?! I mean I shouldn't be surprised, he DID go rogue and try to destroy us all, he seems like Cassandra's type. But seriously, VARIAN?!

⦁ Varian being SO out of the loop: Varian: *To Cassandra* So this afternoon while we were watching you compete the prince said something to me that was kinda odd. "Wow Kid, you really are THE venomous cobra man aren't you?" Okay, so I've done things to deserve that, but it was still out of nowhere! Cassandra: *Awkward laugh* You know Eugene, he has no filter. I wouldn't pay attention to anything he says. Varian: *Raised brow* Okaaaayyy, but Rapunzel said something weird too. "Oh so YOU'RE the one the fortune-telling monkey was talking about!" Those two need a vacation. I think the grease has slipped off their frying pans a little bit if you know what I mean. Cassandra: Yeah, royalty right? I have no clue why they'd say things like that.

⦁ Cassandra finding herself being set up on a blind date with Varian. Cassandra: *Gesturing to a setup for a very romantic dinner* So you DIDN'T do all of this? Varian: I swear! Cassandra: Well if you didn't then who-- ... Both: RAPUNZEL!! Big Nose: *Hiding behind the door with the princess* Wow, that was fast! Varian: *Stops to think then pulls out a chair for Cass* Well, no point in letting a good meal go to waste right? Cassandra: *Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear* I... guess not. Big Nose: *Throws a hand over Rapunzel's mouth as she is about to squee out loud*

⦁ Varian's clumsiness leading to Accidental Affection™

⦁ Eugene: *To Cassandra* Why is your face so red? Did you actually spend some time in the sun for once?

⦁ Varian: Ugh, that necklace I made for you looks so cheap and gaudy to me now. Here, I can take it and make a better new one for you-- Cassandra: *Snatching it away protectively* No! Varian: *Surprised look* Cassandra: *Realizing how that sounded* I mean... it's fine. I'm fine with it just the way it is, thanks. Varian: *Smiling broadly*

⦁ Despite all of this, Varian is wondering if he'll be stuck in the friendzone for good. He pours his heart out in a sentimental song about wrestling with whether he should just let go and move on or take a chance and keep dreaming all while reminding himself over and over of why he finds her so amazing and while he only 'liked' her before, now he just might be falling in love.

⦁ Varian facing his hemophobia to help Cass when she gets a really bad cut on her arm in a fight though he is dizzy the whole time.

⦁ He lets himself faint as soon as it's all taken care of.

⦁ Cassandra slowly accepting her new feelings for Varian with the help of tender gestures like this.

⦁ Varian telling Cass that he has fallen in love with her with a romantic serenade that is a reprise of his earlier solo. She joins in and it becomes a duet as her way of saying "same". Needless to say, he was not expecting that. (Yes, I have lyrics but I'm not sharing them publicly until they're complete enough that I'm willing to pay a registration fee).

⦁ Each taking off a glove to hold hands.

⦁ "No time for dreams?!" "I know how it sounds, but my dad raised me to be very practical." "Yeah, mine too, but I grew up in a farming village. There's nothing BUT time to dream so I have lots *heh*... if you want, I could... share them with you..." *Cue the song A Million Dreams from the Greatest Showman*

⦁ Varian saying things to Cass that are so sweet that she doesn't know how to respond to at first so she just punches him while hiding a bashful smile.

⦁ "You're more than a queen to me." ... *same cheeky smile he gave her in the first episode* ... *pained grunt*

⦁ Cass finding sweet little love notes every once in a while and secretly keeping them all in a box under her bed.

⦁ Everyone knows Cass calls Varian things like "You Goof", and "Nerd" occasionally but what no one knows is that when no one else is around she slowly started to call him embarrassingly endearing nicknames too. She never does in front of others though because if Eugene ever found out about it, he'd have a field day.

⦁ Of course he and Lance find out about it and of course they do.

⦁ "BWAHAHAHAHAHA" --"HAHAHAHAHA AW MAN I CAN ONLY DREAM OF BEING THAT RICH!"--"HAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T BREEEATHE!! I'M DYING AGAIN!! HAHAHAHA OH MAN I'M ACTUALLY CRYING!! IT HURTS!! HAHAHAHA!!!"

⦁ A dagger narrowly misses his face and lands right between them. "Believe me, I can make it hurt a LOT worse."

⦁ "I believe her." "Me too." It's never brought up again.

⦁ The two of them working through relationship conflicts that have their own arc and coming out of it closer and better than before.

⦁ *In the middle of fighting off bad guys* "I feel like you're embarrassed to tell people I'm your boyfriend!" "I'm not! You can do embarrassing things, but I'm not embarrassed BY you. There's no one else in the world I'd rather be with! DUCK!" *Ducks as she throws a weapon knocking out the goon coming up behind him* "... Really?" "Of course! We wouldn't even be together if that wasn't true! You're smart enough to figure that out. I love you, Knucklehead!" "I... I love you too!" "That means a lot, really, but we should save this conversation for later! Now is a very bad time!"

⦁ This happening: Varian: *As Cass passes it to him* Herz Der Sonne's book? Why are you...? Cass: *Hands him a quill* My name is already in there, but the space next to it is still blank. She's handed him a book, but he looks at her like she's just handed him the world.

⦁ Being the pair that is ALWAYS laying a supportive hand on the other's shoulder/forearm/knee/back/waist etc. any time they are in the same room.

⦁ During a serious discussion, she places a hand on his cheek and he leans into her touch.

⦁ Varian being so relieved upon seeing that Cass is okay after a near fatal incident and peppering her face with kisses not caring who sees.

⦁ Forehead touches

⦁ Eugene: He has a goatee now! You said goatees were stupid! Cassandra: *Smugly* I implied that YOURS was stupid and that it made YOU look ridiculous, I never said they were stupid in general.

⦁ Cassandra: *Going through her weapons wardrobe* Okay, so you're meeting my dad tonight. After everything that went down a few years ago it's a safe bet that he's not going to like you so if worst comes to worst, I can hold him off for at least a few minutes while you run.

Varian: *Sitting cross-legged on the bed* Haha, "hold him off" that's funny. Cassandra: *Glancing over her shoulder with concern* I'm serious. *Comes over as he stands up, straightens his collar, dusts off his shoulders etc.* Now when you meet him, be sure to stand up straight, look him in the eye, only address him as 'Captain' or 'Sir' and if you see his mustache start to twitch then excuse yourself to the bathroom because that means he's about to explode and I'm going to need a minute to talk him down and-- Varian: *Taking Cass's hands* Whoa, hey, Cassie, I've never seen you this nervous before. It's kinda freaking me out. Cassandra: I know it's just... ugh! My dad can be really confrontational and he's not very good at letting go of grudges. It took years just for him to be able to stand in the same room as Eugene for more than five minutes without glaring him down and all he did was steal things! Varian: *Downcast* And I've done much... much worse. Cassandra: *Sympathetic, regretful look* You're not the same as you were back then. You've really grown up and you know that stuff was wrong. *Looking down* I just want him to see that too so we can all move on. Varian: *Tilting her chin up* Don't worry too much about it. Hey, us being together is all the proof I need that miracles can happen. We'll never know if we don't give it a shot right? Cassandra: *Smiles softly and kisses his cheek* Right.

⦁ The Captain grills Varian about his choice of career as an alchemist and almost brings up Varian’s past until Cass gives him a pointed look and clears her throat suggesting that she already made him agree not to bring that up. Everything is super tense until Cass is forced to leave dinner in a hurry so she can help Rapunzel and Varian tries to fill the uncomfortable silence.

⦁ Varian: *Swinging his arm in a gung-ho way*  Heheh... well you know what they say, "when a friend is in need, whether in the raging seas below or the highest peaks above, there is nowhere else for a noble man to be." Captain: Hold it, Pencil Neck! Are you... quoting Knights of the Hidden World? Varian: Yeah... you've read it? Captain: *Anxiously scratching the back of his head* Oh, I uh... might have skimmed a chapter or two in my free time...

⦁ Cassandra coming back from an unexpected adventure and both her and Maximus are left slack-jawed to find that Varian and her dad are geeking out over a book series, quoting lines, sharing theories and reenacting dramatic scenes together like best buddies. Varian shows off how he recreated a high tech weapon from the books and the Captain tries not to let out a fanboy squeal.

⦁ "Yes, but they're MY dorks."

⦁ Eugene gagging as he witnesses an Eskimo kiss because he's seeing Cass being downright mushy and it's something his brain can't comprehend and doesn't want to.

⦁ Varian: I've always wanted to do this... *picks Cass up and spins her*

⦁ Playful shoulder nudging

⦁ *Holding her face* "Cassie, being with you is a dream come true! We've been dating for years now but I wake up every morning and feel like I need to pinch myself just to be sure I'm not still dreaming! You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm NOT going to take that for granted."

⦁ Now it's Cassandra's turn to look at him like he's just handed her the world.

⦁ Varian finally thinks they're ready and plans a whole romantic day where he intends to at some point propose to her. Throughout the day he tries several times and there is a whole montage of moments that get interrupted by something stupid or something goes horribly wrong. By the time the sun is setting, he's frustrated and a little discouraged but his spirits lift when he finally has the perfect moment.

⦁ When he goes for his pocket to retrieve the ring that he made himself, Cassandra surprises him by taking both of his hands, looking him in the eyes, saying the sweetest things she's ever said in her life and popping the question. He answers by taking out the ring and saying, "I-I guess I can't imagine my life without you either, Cassie, so... yes," with a crooked smile and in a small, soft tone that cracks a little on 'yes'. He cried. Rapunzel cried. I cried. Everyone cried.

⦁ They lived happily ever after. The end.

[daydream-pixie-princess]

My Top Ten Songs

(I'm cheating a little because,in actuality,my top ten of almost anything changes all the time with one or two few exceptions so this is actually my top ten for the time being and some have been for a bit now. I'll give a brief comment on each selection.)

I was tagged by @neversatisfiedgirl (thank you for thinking of me and also check your DMs! Wrote you awhile ago,but don't know if you haven't had time to answer yet or if the site messed up and didn't notify you! If you're busy right now,no biggie...just wanted to give you a head's up! :) ) But,anyway,I am also eclectic in my tastes and like all types of artists and songs,genres and eras so some of these go way back! This is also in no particular order:

1) Thank You For Loving Me-Bon Jovi (Love Jon and love this band! One of my all time faves and I honestly love most of their songs so you can substitute this song for almost any other Bon Jovi song and it would still apply. My love for this band goes back to the beginning and,yes,I feel old now! LOL!)

2) Can't Help Falling In Love With You/My Way-Elvis Presley (See above for reason--except the from the beginning part (I'm not THAT old! LOL! ;-) ) --I also couldn't decide between songs to mention so I picked two (told ya I would cheat!). While Frank Sinatra's My Way version was good and I liked it,IMHO,Elvis' just seemed to have more passion in it and I liked his better. The other song pick is a classic love song and I think very romantic and my go-to!)

3) All Of Me-John Legend (Another romantic song and I think it's beautiful. Always makes me think of a special someone. I think it gives hope that there's someone out there for everyone and that someone will love you no matter what.IMHO,deep lyrics.)

4) Last Christmas-George Michael/Wham (While I do love George and most of his songs and I think this song,while a little sad,is very pretty,I think it made it to the list because it's embedded in my brain now because it plays constantly over the loud speaker where I work! LOL!)

5) I Got The Boy-Jana Kramer (She's a newer one for me so I'm not sure what you would classify her as if you wanted to. Pop,country,country-pop,pop-country,something else entirely? Don't know. Just know I think she's got a rich,melodic voice in this song and I enjoy the song tremendously. Makes me think of first loves and what they are like now. Glad I stumbled on to this song!)

6) Bad-Michael Jackson (Always liked him and thought he was a tremendous talent. Hard to pick a song again because I usually like most of his work.but I really like the beat on this song although,like before,you could probably substitute it with another Michael song and it would apply.)

7) Welcome To The Jungle/Sweet Child O' Mine-Guns N' Roses (These two songs from them are probably the two I play from this band constantly. Think they have a kiss ass beat--Jungle especially--and in Child,I think Axel showed that he could be an under rated singer even with his "scratchy" voice! LOL!)

8) Thunder-Imagine Dragons (This song also plays a lot where I work so it may have something to do with my picking it! LOL! I really like it though and think it's pretty catchy! I know it stayed in my head for awhile once I first heard it!)

9) Save The Best For Last-Vanessa Williams (Another one of my favorite romantic songs and a go-to. So beautiful and she has a beautiful voice and gives hope to people,I think. Again,makes me think of a special someone.)

10) Greatest Love Of All/All At Once/One Moment In Time-Whitney Houston (One of my all time fave singers from way back from the beginning! You can probably replace these with almost any other Whitney song and it would still apply,but these are the ones I'm still listening to the most right now. Once is a sad song too,but so pretty and melodic,Love I believe teaches an important lesson and Moment is empowering and her vocal range and prowess is just impressive and memorizing and it's such a hopeful song that makes you think you can achieve anything!)

Honorable mention: Outlaw You-Shooter Jennings (Catchy song--though considering what the song is about,he might not like me saying that! LOL! ;-)--and he reminds me of the older country artists but with his own twist...especially reminds me of his Dad. Fun fact: this/he was recommended by Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns...so when two giant pro wrestlers tell you it would be good to listen to someone,it might be a good idea to pay attention! They just might know what they are talking about! LOL!)

So...there's my list and already I'm thinking of all the others I love that I didn't include (Oh to be able to go back and rediscover Poison and Warrant again!)! I listen to so many different kinds of music though that it would be impossible to list them all. Everything from old-school,to boy bands to hair bands to rock to metal to pop to country and even dabble in some R&B,instrumental,opera,rap and gospel and pretty much everything else in between (even theme songs! LOL!)! Anyway,I'll tag @mrkittyinmytree @sjwrites22 @i-kneel-for-king-loki @therealfivefeetoffuckingfury @basicdeanstan @dirtydeedsdean and anyone else who would like to do it! Thanks again to my girl @neversatisfiedgirl for the tag!!!

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020: 03/01

Last week, there were 10 songs on the UK Top 40 chart that were not holiday or Christmas singles, and this week, there are two, and by two, I mean these are really technicalities, since depending on however you define a Christmas song, there could also be no Christmas songs whatsoever on this chart. The week after the Christmas songs on all charts, especially the UK Singles Chart and Billboard Hot 100 (Where “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey dropped out entirely from #1), are chaotic, so much so that I think once again I’ll have to eschew tradition and change the format up a bit, because I’m not starting with the top 10; rather I’m starting with the drop-outs, which as you can expect will be mostly Christmas songs. So, with no further ado... 

Holiday Dropouts

Okay, so first of all, “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey is out from #2, “Last Christmas” by WHAM! is out from #3, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl is out from #4, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens is out from #6, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid is out from #7, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John is out from #8, “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” by John Legend is out from #9, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard is out from #10, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé is out from #11, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande is out from #13, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis is out from #15, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia is out from #17, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee is out from #18, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade is out from #19, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson is out from #21, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry is out from #22, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea is out from #24, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams is out from #25, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber is out from #27, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono with the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Boys Choir or something to that effect is out from #28, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay is out from #29, “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms is out from #30, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby is out from #31, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé is out from #32, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Home is out from #33, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes is out from #34, “Stay Another Day” by East 17 is out from #35, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney is out from #37 and “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Dean Martin is out from #39. Obviously, all of the Christmas songs from outside of the top 40 are gone too, with one exception. That won’t be the last Christmas song I mention this episode but I’m glad to finally be done with these. Here’s the top 10.

Top 10

Obviously, the highest-charting song from last week excluding any Christmas songs, and the only non-holiday song in the top 10 last week, is up four spaces to #1, and hence technically the first #1 hit of 2020. It’s “Own It” by Stormzy featuring Ed Sheeran and Burna Boy, becoming Stormzy’s third #1, Sheeran’s ninth and obviously Burna Boy’s first. Congratulations, guys, it was inevitable.

Now eight of the ten songs that survived last week are all in the top 10, with the other two scattered around the top 20. Returning to the runner-up spot is Lewis Capaldi’s “Before You Go” up 10 spaces to number-two.

Dua Lipa’s “Don’t Start Now”, unfortunately not seeing much chance at hitting #1 at this stage, is up 11 spaces to number-three. I know these massive climbs look important but they are really not actually worth much note at all since it’s just a result of managing through the Christmas blockade.

Up 12 spots to number-four is “ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas.

Rebounding to number-five is the former #1 “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I up 15 spaces to number-five.

Billie Eilish’s “everything i wanted” is also in the top 10 at number-six, as it is up 16 positions this week.

Entering the top 10 for the first time is Harry Styles’ “Adore You”, up 19 spaces to number-seven and becoming Styles’ third entry in the top 10.

Our remaining leftover from last week, excluding the Stormzy songs outside of the top 10, “Pump it Up” by Endor reaches the top 10 for the first time up a whopping 28 spaces to number-eight, which may just be one of our biggest one-week climbs ever. It’s Endor’s first top 10, but I predict he won’t get many more in all honesty. We’ll see though.

Since everything else is a new arrival, returning entry or random Stormzy song that climbed, we have a lot of new peaks this week, including “This is Real” by Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson, which returns at number-nine, becoming Jones’ sixth top 10 and Henderson’s fourth.

Finally, rounding off the top 10, we have “Lose You to Love Me”, returning to the top 10 at #10 as a re-entry to the top 40.

Climbers

Well, we only have two climbers for songs that were here last week, outside of the top 10, and they’re both Stormzy: “Vossi Bop” is seemingly making a second run, up 28 spaces to #12, and “Audacity” featuring Headie One is up 22 spaces to #16.

Fallers

Ellie Goulding’s cover of Joni Mitchell’s “River” fell immensely from its false #1 spot last week, because it is down 27 spots to #28, which is an unfortunate loss but should make it obvious that label politics are the only thing that got this to #1.

Returning Entries

Before the new arrivals, we will have to book-end our Christmas season with our returning entries, the songs that weathered the Christmas storm but are back in full force afterwards, claiming some form of victory, I suppose. Okay, so “Blinding Lights” by The Weeknd is back at #11, “Falling” by Trevor Daniel is at #14, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is at #15, “Watermelon Sugar” and “Lights Up” by Harry Styles are back at #17 and #18 respectively, “Into the Unknown” by Idina Menzel and AURORA, from the Frozen II soundtrack and hence a song I’m counting as our second Christmas single still on the chart, has returned to #19, alongside seemingly its polar opposite, “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One back at #20. “Memories” by Maroon 5 is back at #21, “Gangsta” by Darkoo and One Acen at #22, “Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean making its way back to #23, “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi unfortunately returning at #24, “Heartless” by the Weeknd is back at #25, “bad guy” by Billie Eilish shows up completely out of the blue at #26 and “Lucid Dreams” by the late Juice WRLD has returned once again at #27. “Better Half of Me” by Tom Walker is back at #30, “Lose Control” by MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill is back at #31, “South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B is back at #32, “Netflix & Chill” by Fredo is at #34, “hot girl summer” by blackbear is at #35, “Circles” by Post Malone is at #36, “Must Be” by J Hus is at #37 and finally, “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus of all songs is back at #38. Now for our new arrivals, which much like right before we had to fend off the Christmas songs, it’s just a couple of viral trap-rap hits.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “The Box” – Roddy Ricch

Produced by 30 Roc – Peaked at #3 in the US

Roddy Ricch is a Californian rapper who is one of the newest crop of rising Auto-Tune-fuelled sing-rappers like Lil Tjay, Polo G, et cetera, although Roddy takes more influence from Young Thug, and you can definitely tell, in fact as a pretty big fan of Young Thug at least since recently, Roddy comes off as a bit of a rip-off or discount version at times, since I sense a lack of variation and honestly a lack of any true “weird” lines or oddities that make Thugger stand out as much. Roddy, or as BBC has mistakenly called him in his first UK Top 40 hit, “Roddy Rich”, has inflections that just seem awfully standard. That’s why I was excited when I heard “The Box”, from his debut studio album, because it starts with a muffled brass loop under strings and Roddy meekly repeating in his falsetto, “eee-err”, and it continues throughout most of the song, even when the beat actually kicks in. The beat is actually pretty weird too, with a reversed 808 bass that just comes in sporadically instead of a normal 808 bass. It’s really odd and really strange but it works because Roddy embraces it, with a fluid flow that switches inflection and delivery constantly, keeping with no motif or theme for more than four bars. He also attempts the very Young Thug method of making a punchline by saying a normal, somewhat funny line and then pausing for a beat or two, just to come back by saying, “Mm” or “Yeah”. The beat ends in a very cool way too, with the brass and strings loop playing without any percussion, until it reverses and the song ends with the rubbery reversed 808. It sounds really atmospheric and a lot better than how it sounds from my description. Roddy also says a lot of nonsense here that’s actually pretty funny, like how he’s supposedly a 2020 presidential candidate? Also, Roddy, Aaliyah’s dead, I mean, she looked great whilst alive, but if you have a “b**** that’s looking like Aaliyah”, chances are she’s not a model, or at least not anymore. A bit of a morbid point to end on, but this song is pretty fun. I still prefer “Ballin’” though.

#39 – “No Idea” – Don Toliver

Produced by WondaGurl and Cubeatz – Peaked at #25 in Canada and #43 in the US

Don Toliver is a rapper and singer from Texas who is signed to Travis Scott’s Cactus Jack imprint and featured on their debut compilation album, JACKBOYS, which made several appearances outside of the UK Top 40 this week, but none within our little range, but we do have this viral TikTok-propelled hit, “No Idea”, which is often considered his breakout single, and his first UK Top 40 hit. I find Don Toliver mostly tolerable, although I didn’t particularly like him on “GANG GANG” or “CAN’T SAY”. I would describe this song as pretty forgettable, actually, despite the admittedly interesting and pretty flute loop, which is immediately and abruptly drowned out by the vocals, drenched in way too many levels of ugly reverb and Auto-Tune. Yeah, Toliver sounds pretty awful here, and he’s just clearly ripping off his mentor Travis Scott with some of his inflections and even the YAH! ad-lib. The bass mastering is questionable and the song seems to have an aimless structure, with Toliver just breezing through lyric after lyric with no substance or content to speak of, and even a bridge for him to just ad-lib over the beat for about half a minute. The falsetto part is borderline unlistenable, especially when all of the overdubs and multi-tracks start clipping, even though that might be intentional. Yeah, no, this is garbage, as expected.

#33 – “No Denying” – J Hus

Produced by TobiShyBoy

J Hus has released a second single from his upcoming album after “Must Be”, which if you remember I absolutely loved, and we all know him by now and I told his story and legal issues last time, so no needless pre-amble this time. It’s J Hus’ ninth UK Top 40 hit and, to no surprise, it’s pretty good. It starts with this intense string loop, with some brass and a rowdy tone, building up for the beat drop, where J Hus abandons his mellow mumbling for raspy and aggressive spitting over a drill beat, and it’s pretty intense, as well as just sounding great, with some sweet 808 rolls, although the transitions between chorus and verse feel increasingly abrupt, even if the drill beat is added to the chorus after the first time. J Hus’ content isn’t any interesting this time around, either, and I think that’s why it hasn’t debuted that high. The second verse is just kind of boring, and the slightly off-beat chorus soon loses its lustre. I wish I liked this more, and there are things I like about it, especially the instrumental, but I’m not sure Hus did it any justice this time around. I still enjoy his casual bars that pay no mind to careless gang violence because I just think they’re pretty funny, especially when he treats killing someone in response to racial abuse like a normal weekday in the second verse, but this song does pretty much nothing for me past the first verse.

#29 – “No Cellular Site” – D-Block Europe

Produced by Kyle Junior

Now, here we go. Here is some interesting stuff: D-Block Europe. Young Adz and Dirtbike LB, two of the funniest rappers from the United Kingdom, of course, by complete freak accident and pure incompetence. They released a mixtape (their third of 2019) in late December and it seems to have just been swept under the rug for the most part as it seems like a rushed, boring tracklist. It’s got one feature and it’s not a big one at all, so this is the single, seemingly, probably because it’s got a video and for no other reason. This is the one people decided to watch the video for, and conveniently early in the tracklist. It’s their seventh UK Top 40 hit and curiously, I actually quite liked their last song with DigDat, “New Dior”, and maybe these guys have genuinely improved. Yeah, no, not really. They’ve abandoned the guitar, instead going for a gross MIDI flute that barely passes as a melody and allows for a bunch of silence in the beat. It’s just really empty and refuses to develop or build up to anything, even when the beat comes in. The beat is garbage but the men themselves haven’t changed. Young Adz is still the lead here, with his signature mumbling in the intro and handling the hook as well. I think his new ad-lib is a breathy “gyehr”. His flow switches in the first verse but it doesn’t sound natural or organic, and he trails off at the end of the bar, with a weird, vocodered ad-lib that just repeats the last line failing to fill up empty space. The chorus sounds really freaking awkward as well, especially as the verse ends not with an ad-lib but with reverb-heavy humming, before the chorus comes in and the beat can’t decide if it wants to come in or not, so it’s just hi-hats, a gross 808 and murmuring ad-libs for a while. Dirtbike LB’s verse is mixed in a completely different way, but the beat drowns it and a beeping flatline starts playing under his attempt at a soulful melody in the second half of the verse and it sounds pretty heartfelt, detailing his mother’s plight when he went to hospital for a drug overdose. Too bad it has no relation to anything else here, and Young Adz has a second verse for some reason as well. I have no idea why the last chorus sounds like it was recorded through the telephone, or why the song ends with the flute MIDI literally cutting off before the note ends. The lyrics here are terrible as always, but have those same odd, janky quirks they always do. Young Adz has codeine swimming inside him, doesn’t know if the “famous hoe” in his car is from Geordie Shore or Love Island, and saw a gun and sold cocaine before his virginity was taken, because that’s info we need to know. Of course, I appreciate the body positivity in the chorus, I suppose. This song is oddly focused on mothers as well, as he told the person he’s selling drugs to, to not tell his parents, and also draws the line when you start pouring champagne on your Rolex. Sure. Also this line is really funny to me for some reason:

I cannot deny that a [gnarly dude] need drugs

#13 – “My Oh My” – Camila Cabello featuring DaBaby

Produced by Frank Dukes and Louis Bell

Our last song is the single from Cabello’s second album, Romance, in which she experienced a severe sophomore slump critically and commercially, mostly because there is not a single track on the album that is enjoyable. It is possibly one of the worst albums of last year, just out of sheer disregard for both quality and trying to be unique. It is a generic heap of nothingness, and for whatever reason, it has DaBaby on it (He’s the only feature apart from Shawn Mendes). It’s Cabello’s twelfth UK Top 40 hit, and surprisingly enough, the first entry for North Carolina trap-rapper DaBaby, who I have talked about here before. He’s funny, charismatic and raunchy but can get very samey and sometimes his feature verses are just awkward, including this one. The song starts with some eerie, quirky vintage synths that sound pretty cool, but the horn section just punches in and I hear in the distance, a manic Camila Cabello obnoxiously laughing, and I’m immediately pulled out of whatever this is. It’s almost quite overwhelming actually, because a lot happens at the same time. Cabello’s voice is squeaky as either, the backing vocals are Auto-Tuned badly and add so much unnecessary vibrato that it sounds mildly off-key at times. The percussion is awfully mixed, with the trap beat, especially the 808s and kick drums being at the front of the mix, which makes no sense. It’s stiff, awkward and not sexy at all, mostly because Cabello sounds like she’s in pain 90% of the time, and I’m not for kinkshaming but off-key gang vocals aren’t hot. DaBaby’s “Let’s go” sounds so sad and tired, so you can tell from the post-chorus that he doesn’t want to be here, and yeah, his verse proves this. Apparently he’s “going Bieber”. Sure. This sucks.

Conclusion

I’ve got to say, not a great week, but the transition weeks between years are often a bit like this. Best of the Week is going to “The Box” by Roddy Ricch, with an honourable mention towards “No Denying” by J Hus. Worst of the Week goes to “No Idea” by Don Toliver and D-Block Europe don’t escape free, as they get the dishonourable mention for “No Cellular Site”. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank, I’ll see you next week.

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020

[weakconstruct]

I’m gonna do a special thing for my late Munday Post (lol since it’s Tuesday now)

I LOVE villains but have a hard time roleplaying one, I know it’s cliché but I try to be as kind as possible, and it hurts to hurt others.

My greatest source of inspiration when roleplaying is the material I get from my partners. All of my roleplay partners will say things I don’t traditionally think of, and together we create plot lines that wouldn’t be crafted if we were writing the plots alone!

I’m not religious, I’m spiritual! Religious people do bad things and hurt others in my opinion, while spiritual people follow their religion to spread love. I am a Christian, I am gay, and I love you for you!

I don’t always listen to music but sometimes I do, especially when roleplaying. It doesn’t matter what kind as long as it’s a fucking bop. Blast some pop, rap, anything catchy that I enjoy, and bam it’s a party!

My random fact is... I can’t stand pessimism. A lot of the time I’m my own worst pessimist, especially because I am pretty self concious and break myself down, but with nurturing and love, mostly from my friends, I enjoy the brighter sides of situations. You can’t live a happy life if you always look for the bad.

My preference for my own muses is actually women. I am a feminine gay male and so I write women easily, on the other hand though, I don’t write women sexually very well. I do sometimes write as strictly gay males since straight men don’t come naturally. Although... for some reason I can write lesbian pretty well! Idk what I’m doing guys, just gotta learn to love me.

When I was younger I stabbed a boy with a pencil right in the skin in-between your index and thumb. I was pretty unstable and a little crazy so I just got fed up with him and WHAM my graphite was in his hand. He was so scared he didn’t tell the teacher, and I knew it was really bad the second I snapped. After helping him clean it, I apologized like 400 times, and now that I’m older I’ve stabilized a lot.

My Monday was pretty great until I started watching sad Steven Universe videos... but in a way... that’s great too, I believe emotions are healthy and express them without fear.

On my birthdays I usually have my closest friends over to hang out, I get cake, my favorite dinner, and some small presents too. We aren’t very monitarily stable so I’ve never known big birthday parties before.

I wouldn’t clone myself... I’ve been told I’m annoying, but in a way that you learn to love and appreciate my quirks... but! My best friend also said if there was a second me, she would kill him so... let’s just not go there.

I do not choose to wear makeup, unless for fun. I’ll let my best girls practice on me, but I don’t go in public with makeup on. Not because it’s “only for girls” but because I don’t like how it feels on my face!

I have one, 26 year old, brother. We aren’t very close, but we are civil and kind to each other, so it’s still okay! I attribute our distance to how different we are in age. (I’m 19)

One time I was running from my dad and ran into the fridge. You know that moment when the cartoon rams into something so hard they vibrate and fall out unconscious on the ground? That was me... OH and another time I stepped on a gardening hoe, and really did experience that moment where the handle flies up and nails you between the eyes... I swear to God... I am SOOOO clumsy.

Sadly I don’t know what romantic love is. I may be almost 20 years old, but I have never had a significant other. While I have kissed and experimented a small bit, I think I’ve only ever had one deep crush on a boy. Meanwhile Galena may be developing some feelings in some of my roleplays! We will just have to see.

I like my signature, but my handwriting is fucking shit... like don’t even play... this is why I type things.

The last time I went to the movies was when I watched Deadpool 2 on opening day. Fucking fantastic movie too! I wanna see Incredibles 2 SO BAD... but it’ll have to wait... unfortunately...

Sometimes I can be a bit jealous when it comes to roleplaying, but I would never say anything rude or off-putting to my mutuals. I’m probably over reacting when I get jealous anyway, so no worries loves!

And there you have it! I answered EVERYTHING on that list for this LATE Munday post! I hope you guys will enjoy learning about me!

Yet Another Munday Meme  Send me a symbol and I’ll answer ooc 

ѩ - Are there any characters that you love, but simply cannot role play? 

Җ - What’s your greatest source of inspiration when it comes to role playing? 

ℛ - Are you religious? 

♬ - Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music? 

ᚡ - Random fact about the mun? 

✒ - Do you have a preference when it comes to gender regarding your muses? 

ಹ - Share a story from your childhood! 

෴ - Tell us about your day. 

㉘ - How do you usually spend your birthdays? 

⨌ - If you ever had the opportunity to clone yourself, would you? 

ᚖ - Do you wear makeup?

༺ - Do you have any siblings? What’s your relationship with them like? 

๛ - Share an embarrassing story about yourself! 

❤ - Are you and/or your muse currently in love with someone? 

ℳ - Do you think you have a good handwriting? 

☢ - When was the last time you went to the cinema? What movie did you watch?

⨕ - Are you a jealous role player?