#and went ‘hey I should go offline for a bit’

[vampbuzz11]

.

[lotusarchon]

As I have the app around, I may as well just dive into this before disappearing again. To the people in my post a few days prior and in my dms, I promise I'm not ignoring any of you, but I genuinely can't muster the energy to speak to anyone else currently. I'm only here currently because someone found my unmentioned hetalia account, which I left unmentioned for a reason...you know who you are...you scared me...😭

Ah, okay well. If you're not aware of who I am, hi. I'm a dude that wrote fanfiction for this fandom I got pulled into. A year ago I had a few different accounts but I had to delete every single one just because I kept getting harassed, from one thing to another. I'm hoping I don't have to do it again this time around.

I haven't gone offline as anyone thought. I did attempt to take my life (twice, 2024 is something else) but in the end it didn't work out, so I've been hiding in my secret account to relax in hetalia for a bit. In between that I've also been stalking the account myself since it showed up just to see what it was up to, and...oh wow that's a lot.

This specific account has been on my ass like a tick since..two days ago. Two days of my 'supposed' death.

I've also recently found out that someone else who was pretending to be a friend of my friend's and a concerned citizen happened to be friends with them;

And hence why I chose not to reemerge my head back then yet. It turns out there's a few people who may have been following me who are acquainted with these people and...yeah, I didn't want to take the risk. I'm hoping no one is going to inform them I'm not actually dead―I blocked both accounts to avoid being noticed.

There's a lot of yapping I'm gonna be doing so expect a lot of that, BUT piece of advice to anyone that actually cares: do not engage with either blog. Don't send them hate mail, don't go gloating that I'm not actually dead, and don't fucking yap about anything. These blogs went as far as to harass my friends who have no part in this, and they also wrote nsfw of my adult oc and my friend who is a fucking minor. Do. Not. Engage. With. Them. Please!! Block, block, block. Just block them! They're actively going out of their way to harass and stalk MINORS.

Under the cut, I am rambling more on personal feelings rather than doing this professionally. I'm still pretty moody actually and well yeah...

Trigger Warning for some topics below!

Okay uh. I've never done this before so excuse me while I put this in question format lmfao..

"Why aren't you dead!?"

Joke answer; god doesn't want me.

Long answer: I'm not the type of person who says something like that ...like that. I really was intending to go through with it, but evidently I was too tired from crying and fell asleep. I figured that I couldn't handle people fucking around with me and hid in my secret blog. Hetalia fandom is so nice for a fandom about countries. Point blank sorry to burst many of your bubbles, but I'm not dead yet. Put the birthday canon away, slut. I'll die next season.

"What the fuck did you even do?"

Exist.

No okay, realistically it's a lot. I'm not going to play the victim here's and I'm not going to lie to people and say "oh hey my mental illness/trauma made me do that" because that's bullshit. I'm also not diving too deep into any explanations just because my hands hurt..but also I don't want to remember anything less I have another panic attack.

A year ago I met this girl who became my friend over a fandom. We chatted, but I fucked our friendship up when I lashed out at her and another friend wrongfully because of my own stress. While I did beg one of them to stay, the chick that runs kokomichanstuff, Mariin, I ended the friendship with her just because I knew what I did was bad. There really aren't any excuses for that. I don't think anyone should have to deal with anyone else's bad attitude regardless of mental health or not. I didn't bother to keep Mariin around because I did bad, and no amount of apologies would fix it. She already said she wouldn't forgive me, so I knew it made no sense to keep up a facade. I genuinely had no idea she would've been mad that I begged one person to stay but not her, even though she expressed not wanting to be my friend. I also don't remember truly if what I did was enough to earn THIS type of harassement, but I'll take it as divine punishment. But basically, over and over again Mariin has stalked me and found a way to harass me. According to the posts she made, she's made a new friend I (sadly) hurt who wants..revenge. Hooray.

Mariin's already namedropped them so um, yeah, I hope it's okay to mention them?? . Neveah was someone I also hurt really badly by bullying and lashing out at her out of jealousy over something ridiculously dumb in my old server and account. I confronted her later on apologizing but specifically also adding that she didn't need to forgive me because I messed up. Long story short, she claimed she had forgiven me.... but then went to her friends (Mariin mentioned) Geno, Toga etc to badmouth me, including sharing sensitive information I sent to her. Neveah's friend Geno made a post mocking me which I found and responded poorly too, and then more drama escalated from there because literally every single one of Neveah and Geno's friends came to bombard me, sent me hate mail and surprise, Mariin took the chance to come back. I don't know how the fuck those two (Mariin and Neveah) managed to speak, but sometime later a few accounts appeared that went after people who were once associated with me or used to be associated with me. A few days ago the account made supposedly by Neveah made a post accusing me of being a r*pist, groomer and pedophile and yeah. That went badly.

Uh. Wow this is a mouthful. But. Yeah, I'm...not really a good person, and these things are just embarrassing and..ick. I hate myself for the shit I pull. But, I will say, while I can accept Mariin harassing me like this, the other parties just...genuinely could've handled this better than what they did to me. It really wouldn't have been so hard to ask me instead of listening to one side, but maybe that's me. Regardless, I admit I was wrong. I just..I'm not happy other people are getting involved.

"Why didn't you just say something sooner instead of all that nonsense? Wasn't that too dramatic?"

Sadly it was, but I don't think any of you understand when I say that I CAN'T. I can't say anything because it's just me, me, me. It's just me, and people aren't going to believe me. They never do. When that shitshow happened with Neveah, everyone was blaming me. Even up till recently, someone in my current server told me I was the one who overreacted over getting bullied and harassed. I'm not mentioning them here but holy fuck, that shit hurt. The anons coming in my inboxes telling me "people are offering you advice and you don't want it", it fucking hurts. It genuinely hurts because every single time I try to speak up against anything, or stand up for myself, I'm the one who's in the wrong.

Geno, Neveah, Mariin, fucking Toga and Deja and the entire fucking crew. They're never the ones who get wronged, and they haven't lost anything. Even when Mariin's account gets deleted, she's fine. She has people that actually fucking listens to her, all of them do.

I don't. There's no one aside from the few friends I have who would actually listen to me and not just immediately jump at me, and I'd rather just not have them involved in anymore drama that revolves around me.

Yeah, holy shit, maybe attempting to kill myself from the stress was overbearing but you guys have no fucking idea what it's like. Every time, every time I make a report or say something, I'm the one who's told I'm at fault. It's either, "You're don't look like a child, it's not their fault they want to touch you," or, "You overreacted," or, "Maybe you shouldn't have said anything," or even, "You're so ungrateful, I'm trying to help you."

It. fucking. Sucks. It. SUCKS. Its terrifying that regardless if it's my real life or on the internet, no one listens, no one cares and the one who's left hurting is Ali because who fucking cares. Who gives a shit right?

"....did you try to kill yourself over Nezha?"

Everything started with Nezha, and I'm not even fucking kidding. I don't remember how I met Mariin but I knew for a fact it was something about him. And when we broke our friendship off, I got attacked a LOT about his age. I want to pretend that maybe it was all Mariin, but with how things are, I don't doubt for a second this fucking fandom were jumping me for a character who already has a confirmed age.

I could tell you that I was just stressed about Mariin, but that'd be a lie. Everywhere I go with this fandom, I'm always getting hassled about Nezha's age. From the beginning I was already stressed, because I continuously kept getting anon after anon calling me names and accusations for a fictional fucking character.

I don't deny that Mariin didn't have a part to play. She most definitely made things worst for me with using Nezha to slander me further. It's just my luck that the people in this fandom are idiots that'll listen to anything anyone says.

Think of it this way; the pot was near burning on the stove, it just needed some more fuel.

"Why didn't you just listen to the anons?"

Sighs

Mind you, this was supposedly when I was DEAD. Trust me, I've had far worst flooding my inboxes. Before it was about Nezha's age. Recently, it was to kill myself and the accusations.

I'm not saying the advice was ever bad. But the anons were strangers for all I care who had no idea what the fuck was happening. I've tried blocking anons before, I also went to far lengths to ignore them, but there's only so much I can take. Every day, day in day out on any blog I've made, ever since I started writing for Nezha, I've been receiving dozens and dozens of hate I've had to delete constantly. Not even counting the ones that just randomly told me to die!!

"just ignore them" I'm not a child. I. know. I know, I know, I've been trying, but when people don't respect my boundaries and don't even bother to listen when I say I've done it, how do you think I'm going to feel?

"oh but you should put that as your trigger then it's not their fault" oh yeah, "hey everyone 🥺 when people don't listen to me I cry". How do you think it'll sound? Plus, why should I need to add that when I wasn't expecting anyone to actually act like this on the internet to begin with?!

"Why don't you just move to a different platform then if the hate is that bad?"

Ignoring Mariin for a bit, even if I were to go into another platform to write fanfiction (and I highly doubt there's many I'll feel comfortable in), why should I, and what makes you think the hate will stop there?

AO3 is a place where THE worst people write porn. And you wouldn't believe that I've had to delete quite a number of assholes on there for Nezha's age. Don't mention Twitter where the nonsense started about his age, and don't bring in bluesky because there's a word limit and I'm not limiting myself to that. Even Wattpad has them yelling about Nezha's age. WATTPAD!! Genuinely what makes you think I'll be safe anywhere I go?

I hate Tumblr but this account is my safe space from reality at this point. It used to be the place that made me not want to die. Just because you guys are jerks, why should I need to go?

This also goes back to Mariin and the harassers. Even in my fake death I can't know peace. If I were to move out, wouldn't she get to live her life peacefully while I'm miserable trying to understand a place I don't want to be in?

"Then just leave the LMK fandom!"

Again, why should I? LMK is my comfort show. I genuinely enjoy writing for silly legos, and I also love learning about things I didn't know about before. Why should I have to leave just because the fandom is filled with jerks? Why don't you guys just leave instead if you're butthurt about anyone daring to speak an opinion?

"The accusations-!"

Are lies.

I was r*ped before. Why would I find any pleasure r*ping anyone else? How does one even do that through online?

I was groomed online and assaulted in real life. Why would I think of hurting another human being, most less a child, like that when I still can't even read anything that correlates to it? Why would I find any of those things pleasing?

I turned 18 in 2024. It's not an excuse and I've been doing my best to not interact with minors, or at the very least avoid speaking about topics that are inappropriate for them. Even though I still forget I'm an adult on occasion, I know better than to pull up on my younger friends and start talking about nsfw. I've only ever spoken weirdly to my adult friends.

I recently saw someone comment on the account that I'm Islamphobic/don't support Palestine, so that makes me problematic. I grew up in an Islamic family, I have trauma with that specific religion (inclu. Hinduism and Christianity, long story). I don't interact with anything regarding religion if I can and I also don't judge someone based on their religion. I judge you based on how you speak to me. If you have a weird icon, I don't like you, if you speak weirdly, I don't like you. Additionally, I'm the type of person who feels guilty for making someone upset. I can't support myself, most less for others. No, I don't agree with genocide but it's genuinely too much for me to keep up with.

And finally, how the fuck is liking a character who's an adult make me a proshipper? Jesus Christ again with Nezha. I hate this.

"You have no proof!"

Of course I don't. I don't keep bad memories around. I wouldn't have remembered my own childhood if I didn't get triggered about it. I block bad memories out. Many interactions I've had that are bad, I delete. I don't think about saving, I delete.

Even interactions with friends I usually delete because it's just weird not seeing a blank space. I don't hate them but leaving a spot full feels weird.

I don't have any proof I'm none of the accusations but neither does Mariin, to be frank. So if you chose to believe her because you just genuinely don't like me, good for you, but you look like sheep being led by a drunk shepherd. Either you'll end up in a slaughterhouse and starve, your pick.

I'm not going to say, "Oh ask my minor friends!" Because...they're kids. I feel horrible my friend got roped into this to begin with, the last thing I want is for anyone else be involved when they barely know shit.

Yeah, rambled a bit. I didn't want too but I got carried away, whoops.

This is the only post I want to make about this issue. Don't bring it up, don't uhh, don't mention me to the account, and please just allow me to rest in peace. I just want to write and feel free, not deal with this shit, okay?

Also. Please stop involving my friends into beef you have with me. It's really not their fault they have to deal with someone like me.

Goodbye. I'm deleting the app again until I return. Adios

[in1-nutshell]

I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT!! D:

But my request is a SG version of Ophelia if she somehow did survived the optimus attacked!

Cuz I saw the one concept of the SG thing and I am really infested :00

SG! Ophelia is here!

Hope you enjoy!

What if... SG! Ophelia had survived

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Hinted romance, Cybertronian reader

SG!

Based off of TFP SG.

Ophelia originally was offlined by Nemesis Prime.

Blasted in the chassis from being held by her neckcables in front of an audience of Cons.

But instead of being blasted, Ophelia had grabbed a piece of shrapnel and plunged it straight into his joints.

The Prime screamed letting her go.

She wanted return straight to the Decepticon base, but there were too many Autobots in the area.

Ophelia managed to find a old escape pod and hid inside.

She figured hiding out in an old pod would be safe enough until the crowds thinned out.

… except the pod was fully operational and had activated it.

Ophelia was screaming when the pod suddenly shot into the sky.

Soon enough Ophelia went into stasis.

The Cons reported back that Ophelia had gone missing from Nemesis’s attack.

Megatron wanted to send troops in to look for her, but they were severely outnumbered and needed to retreat.

Megatron sitting in the Nemesis. Soundwave and Starscream approach him. Soundwave gently putting a servo on his shoulder: “Hey… We’re all worried about how she’s doing Meg’s. But she’s a strong bot, probably one of the most stubborn ones too, she’ll be fine.” Megatron: “…I should have been there.” Starscream now sitting by his side: “Megatron—” Megatron: “I should have been there!” Starscream: “Yet you weren’t and there is nothing we can do about that!” The three of them fall into silence. Starscream: “… I am sorry Megatron, but that is the truth. You weren’t there and we cannot change that. All we can do now is hope that wherever Ophelia is, that she is safe.” Megatron looks at Starscream and Soundwave. Megatron: “… I apologize for my outburst.” Starscream pats his shoulder before starting for the exit. Megatron: “Thank you, both of you.” Starscream nods his helm. Soundwave gives him a side hug: “Anytime Megatron, anytime.”

Ophelia was always on Megatrons mind when he wasn’t thinking about the war.

Wondering where did his sparkling go.

Meanwhile, Ophelia’s pod had crash landed on Earth, more specifically in the Artic.

No way to open the pod, she stayed in stasis for the following years.

Time skip to Cons being on Earth…

Thanks to a new scan, the Decepticon’s managed to find something Cybertronian under a thick layer of ice, appearing to be some sort of pod.

The pod was brought on board and sent to the med bay for further examination with Knockout and Breakdown.

Once most of the ice was melted, Knockout noticed something moving inside and motioned Breakdown to call for Megatron.

Which was immediately followed by a small pede kicking the pods door open.

Ophelia wheezed a bit clearing her vents before looking around.

Breakdown up and fainted.

Knockout was close behind but managed to stiffen up to do his job.

He welcomed Ophelia back while examining her for any potential injuries.

A few minutes later Soundwave came in with some of the reports that Knockout needed when his visor landed on Ophelia.

She smiled happily and waved at him.

Every bot near to med bay heard the scream that Soundwave let out

Soundwave nearly rammed into Knockout, who was saved at the last minute by a barely conscious Breakdown.

He wrapped his tentacles and arms around the smaller bot and held her closely while slightly sobbing.

Starscream and Megatron soon came running in wondering what had happened to their third in Command.

Megatron felt time stop when he saw Ophelia in Soundwave’s arms.

Ophelia literally leaped out of Soundwave’s grasp and into Megatron’s open arms.

Megatron went down on his knees hugging his daughter, a few tears escaping as he held her tighter.

Ophelia patting her father’s neckcables softly. Megatron finally lets go a bit and places her on the med slab. Megatron: “Ophelia… I’m so—” Ophelia: “Meg’s if you apologize, I’m going to have to stop you.” Megatron: “But I should have—” Ophelia: “It was my mission. Things just got a bit messy here and there. And Sure I missed a few dozen years, but that doesn’t change the fact that it wasn’t your fault.” Megatron looked like he was going to protest but stopped and smiled. He turns to Knockout. Megatron: “How is she?” Knockout: “The prolong exposure to the stasis pod, specifically this model can have some side effects in balance for a few days. Not to mention the previous wounds that need to be fixed. I highly suggest she stay o the Nemesis until she is back to her normal state.” Ophelia: “Aww! I wanted to go and bash some bots!” Soundwave pats her helm. She playfully swats it away. Megatron: “You heard the medic Ophelia, only some of the ships work until further notice, am I clear?” Ophelia looked like she was going to protest before something caught her optics making her quiet. Ophelia: “Yeah… sure I’ll stay. Only ship duty things, right?” Megatron a bit confused by the lack of argument: “Yes…” Ophelia nods slowly with a smile on her face.

This sudden lack of argument puzzled many of the high commanding Cons for days.

Usually, Ophelia would argue with Megatron about fighting out on the field despite her stature.

The lack of any resistance was almost frightening when several days past and not one complain about fighting outside came from her.

It was Soundwave who came up with a theory while looking through the security cameras.

Soundwave zooming on Ophelia’s face on the day of her return. With a quick scan, he followed where her gaze went to. A couple of Vechicons were passing, nothing special. Soundwave: “Unless…” Soundwave pulls up several videos of Ophelia working around the ship talking to one of the Vechicons in the previous video. Soundwave: “No…” Soundwave pulls a live video of Ophelia talking to the Vechicon. Ophelia was on some crates and leaning on the wall talking to the Vechicon. Ophelia: “So Steve, did you get a new paintjob because you are looking fantastic today.” Steve completely oblivious: “Oh no, I accidentally got caught in a rainstorm before coming on board.” Ophelia: “I bet I can help you get clean.” Steve, still oblivious: “I don’t think you can reach me in the wash racks.” Soundwave: “… well… This should be good.”

[jeskoholic]

A Little Piece of You Chapter 16: A Coffee Date

This is a chapter from an on-going series. If you missed out on the previous entries, you can check my masterlist.

Previous chapter: Boy Talk

Word count: 5,811

Tags: Male OC, College Friends, Jisoo and Nayeon, Coffee Shop Date

Enjoy

---

---LATER THAT EVENING---

Before the thought of Dawn’s so-called master plan could even flush naturally itself out of my system, I immediately moved to bring Ningning on top of my head the moment I parted ways with both of my friends. I haven’t solidly thought of a good enough reason to approach her, especially now that things have gone differently ever since we last conversed. It certainly felt weird that I would just message her out of nowhere not soon after the whole Soyeon-situation… or maybe it was just me being really awkward towards her and absolutely thinking too much out of a normal situation. After all, Ningning and I began to be friends because of United Kwangya, and now that most of the chat has been in shambles since then, I figured there was some sort of barrier that I had to jump to get to her.

It could probably be just me.

However, the thought of that conversation when we were at Yeouido was the debating point, as well as what happened in Valentine’s Day. Somehow that provided me enough leverage to talk to her not merely as someone I shared on the chat with. Ningning and I shared something that connected us away from just United Kwangya.

I don’t even know why I’m making this much of a big deal. I just need to talk to her for the sake of Hyojong, right?

After what felt like minutes of staring at her chat tab, right at the comfort of my own room, I finally managed to input the first couple of characters that ought to take her attention.

Yoon Jae-in: Hey, Ning?

I paused for a bit, hesitating for a bit whether I should continue on or not. It was definitely awkward seeing our last exchange of messages to be inclined with Soyeon. At this time, I really do not want to be involved in any sort towards her; not until I’m comfortable enough to be around her again at least. Also, Ningning always had her chat tab offline so I really don’t know if she’s here or not.

Ningning: Yeah, I’m here. You need something?

Oh, she’s online. I guess that’s convenient.

Jae-in: Actually yeah… I want to talk to you about something.

Ningning: Is this about Soyeon?

Jae-in: No… please don’t get the wrong idea. It’s completely unrelated to that. Well, maybe not entirely but hey. This actually is just between both of us and what we’ve talked about back at Yeouido. I remember having a conversation with you about photography right? I was just wondering if you’re interested on doing it this time around.

Ningning: What the fuck, Jae-in… Are you telling me that you want to do the photography thing now because you’ve finally separated ties with Soyeon? Is that what you mean? >:)

Shit, I forgot how that conversation went… she’s already getting the wrong idea.

Jae-in: No! It’s totally not like that. This is actually for Dawn. He’s told me that he want his picture to get taken and asked if I knew someone who had at least a good experience with that. Of course, having that talk back then, I figured you’re the first person who popped up in my head. What do you think about that?

Ningning:  Really now? Why not Kino? He’s clearly into these types of things a lot more than I am and I’d say he has far better experience than I do. It’s just a hobby for me, unlike him who literally had a wedding shoot entirely on his own.

Jae-in: He’s quite unreliable though and Hyojong kind of agrees with that. At least I have an assurance that you’d do it once you agree. You’re less likely to back out from that once you’re in, as well. Are you interested on doing it? Dawn’s really looking forward to it.

Ningning: It’s for a girl, isn’t it?

Jae-in: Maybe; you can ask him yourself if say, you agreed to it.

Ningning: Well, that’s a good tactic to bait me into it, I’ll give you that. LOL

Ningning: I suppose I won’t mind. It’s amazing how that convo back at Yeouido stuck with you. Normally most people would just forget.

Ningning: Just don’t expect something extravagant with the outcome. I told you that I’m more into sceneries more than anything, okay? Don’t keep your standards up because I’m really just a novice.

Jae-in: Don’t worry; I’ll ask him to find a place with a good scenery as well, in that way you can make the most out of the trip. Yes, it’s for a girl by the way. Also, I think Dawn’s willing to cash in, otherwise he would not be asking me to look for people.

Ningning: That won’t be necessary but damn… I never expected that of all the people in United Kwangya, it was Hyojong who’d be simping this early on; what in the actual fuck?

Ningning: I’ll just message Dawn how things would go. We’ll settle the schedule for good.

Jae-in: Thanks Ning, I owe you one.

Ningning: Hey, if this works out for him, don’t y’all single bitches go looking for me for you pictures, okay? LMAO

Jae-in: Don’t worry; the favour you gave me is already for Dawn. I have no interest of trying it now. I’m too busy.

Ningning: Maybe you should.

Ningning: On second thought, maybe not. I prefer it when you’re single Jae-in. LOL.

I stared at her message.

Huh?

What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?

Ningning: Well, I got to go. TTYL

---SOME TIME LATER---

It never occurred to me that the university’s following week was busy as it could have gotten, at least for the subjects that I was taking up, anyway. Major subjects were still schedule for the following semester and yet I could already feel the dump of school works coming my way. It’s a good thing that I still have that one little summer semester break to serve as a breathing room before the great responsibilities came.

To make it short, Dawn’s small favour literally flew off of my head as soon as I arranged him with Ningning. I guess I had it coming to me; I figured that muting United Kwangya could lessen things up for a bit and let the less-awkward members interact within that chat. Soyeon showed no signs of her presence, so I figured I should match her for the time-being.

Once all was said and done, the next level of Dawn’s master plan finally unveiled itself. I didn’t even notice the overhaul of his entire profile; that the arrangement I did for him actually worked and that he’s progressing already behind the scenes. It’s more impressive that he and Ningning, along with some help from Shinwon and probably even Hongseok, managed to fit all of that in one single week. All it took was one busy NLIU day and somehow the date for Jisoo and Dawn was already up in the air. It’s crazy.

It’s like I blink for five minutes and now everything’s set.

It was one Friday afternoon perfectly aligning with the university’s sports events, effectively leaving Shinwon and the rest of United Kwangya free from classes. At least Hongseok’s ‘playboy’ tendencies worked out well for Dawn here. Anyway, that day I received a private message from Dawn directing me towards the mall placed beside a known city cathedral. Port Skyview was this large commercial complex situated beside the busy streets of the city, leading straight towards its rival, Metro Station mall. The hilly and sloped topography of its lot allowed the topmost floor of Port Skyview to be situated right beside the foot of the church, while in turn justifying its name as it gave a breath taking skyline view of the entire city night life at sundown.

A couple of minutes after 2 PM and I found myself perched on the rail of Sky View’s own terrific sky terrace, with the unexpected company of Hongseok leaning on the rail beside as well. At this rate, the pharaonic view of the City’s proud hills as well as the virgin skies were testament to how beautiful the city was whether you’re in Metro Station or here.

I initially thought that this would be awkward with Hongseok considering the last meeting, but thankfully he’s a very social person. All my doubts were lost with a curt nod as soon as we met in front of the café. It’s like nothing really happened.

Dawn’s message led both me and Hongseok into a coffee shop situated right above the beautiful landscape; it’s cubic glass architecture enabling natural amounts of light to illuminate the beautiful and modernized interior. On its façade, a huge sign written mostly in neon red and violet minimalist letters: Neverland Coffee. The majorly white aesthetic inside reminded me so much of Joohyun-noona’s overly-tidy taste.

I wonder if she’d been to this café before. I really should consider inviting her here one day.

��Should we get in and get our orders ahead of them?” I asked Hongseok after sensing the void of words between our conversations.

“That’s a good idea. We’re not even the heart of the party anyway.”

Thankfully, the said coffee date was once again held on an unconventional time. Ordering would not be such of a huge chore considering we have the shop pretty much to ourselves, which was very much what Hongseok and I would have wanted. As much as the really simple design of the café was already captivating from the outside, the simplistic approach of its modernized interior was a perfect touch. Given the breath-taking view it had on its second floor (which awkwardly reminded me of the mezzanine back at NLIU Library), Hongseok and I agreed to select the best seats in the house; eventually settling on the far end of the second floor.

This was just the beginning of an interesting day. I do hope this would turn out in favour of Dawn more than anything else.

---

Hongseok was the one who volunteered to fetch their orders once it was already available. To Jae-in’s surprise, he returned back up the small, terrace-like second floor of the place accompanied with five new figures three of which Jae-in immediately recognized. Ko Shinwon’s tall stature walked beside a smaller girl, dressed in an all-white med-school uniform giving off a wide smile; marking the first time since Skylight’s first drinking session that he would see the girl named Yeri. Then, right behind the couple was Kim Hyojong wearing a knitted vest over his shirt coupled with a small hat to compliment his blond hair. He immediately supplied the seated figure of Jae-in with a smile the moment that their eyes met.

Then, right behind him were two girls that Jae-in recognized to be Im Nayeon and Kim Jisoo from the photos not that long ago. Jisoo wore a simple black dress with a matching bag, yet it did more than enough to emphasize her beautiful presence. Her friend, Nayeon, stood near her wearing a beige coat over a white blouse as well as high-waist pants. She supplied each of them with a wide, bunny-like smile the moment she set her eyes on Yoon Jae-in.

“Look who I found ordering below,” Hongseok said as he moved to take the seat beside Jae-in. He then placed the tray having both of their orders while gesturing towards the other table. “We ordered ahead, so sorry about that. Jae-in and I reserved you the best seats in the house, so anyone can seat with us if you’re interested.”

“Well, before all of that, let me just introduce you to them,” Dawn said giving a short nod. “Guys, let me introduce you to Nayeon and Jisoo. Girls, these are my friends, Jae-in and Hongseok. You’ve already met Shinwon and Yeri a while back, so there we go.”

The four new comers exchanged nods and smiles, with Hongseok offering to give them a hand to shake. Fortunately, the newcomers Nayeon and Jisoo were fond of the gesture and returned the action. Pressured to do the same, Jae-in awkwardly stretched his hand and shook after his friend, with his eventual contact with Nayeon taking longer than usual, much to the interest of Jisoo’s friend.

“I think it would be better if you and Jisoo would sit there,” suggested Yeri as she pointed towards the other table bearing a reasonable distance from their own. “That way, we won’t hear you if you’d talk. You’ll get some privacy that way. You can sit with us, Nayeon-ssi, if you like.”

“Oh I’d love to,” Nayeon replied, pointing a finger towards the chair. Her question was met with a mutual gesture from both Hongseok and Jae-in almost at the same time. “You guys don’t mind me sitting with you, right?”

Given that mutual agreement between them, Jisoo and Dawn politely excused themselves from the rest of the members as they went on off ahead on a separate table. Nayeon, on the other hand, took the chair opposite Yoon Jae-in without hesitation, with Yeri following suit beside her and Shinwon sitting next to them.

“So, Nayeon-ssi,” Hongseok said, clearly taking charge of the conversation immediately to loosen off the awkward barrier. Jae-in always knew him to be the type who’d do that. “Welcome to our friend group. It’s nice to have someone new to talk to. Please don’t be awkward with us, but I don’t think you have that aura with you, right?”

Nayeon nodded with a wide smile. “I’m happy to be here. If you guys want to ask me some questions, feel free to do so. I do have an aura that you all have something to ask to me in some form, am I right?”

“Well, you’re not just pretty, you’re really smart too,” Hongseok said after taking a sip from his drink. He leaned in closer to the group and dialled down his voice. “I’ll cut it with the chase then, Nayeon. I’m quite interested how this entire thing happened with our boy Dawn over there. I heard that things were quite unusual, no? Is it true that he first talked to you?”

Hongseok does as he does best; skipping the formalities and hitting everything straight to the core. I’m glad that he’s invited here.

“I’m curious as well,” added Yeri. “I’ve only heard things from all of you through Shinwonnie here, and I’m more than surprised to even know that you and Dawn actually knew each other, Nayeon-ah.”

“Yeah, I found things really interesting as well. I certainly was not expecting a familiar face to see in a date like this; especially a former Middle school classmate such as Yeri here. But then again, the world is such a small place and things like this are bound to happen. It’s exciting that way, don’t you think?”

“So, I heard that you’re the one that made everything possible,” said Hongseok to Nayeon. “From what I’ve been hearing from Dawn there, you were the one who introduced them to each other, is that right Nayeon? I’m surprised that you and Dawn did not end up being the ones in the same table on this date; how come that was not the case?”

Nayeon smirked.

“Well, as much as Hyojong there is a pretty nice person to talk to, I guess we both mutually did not feel that sort of spark towards each other. Beside I’m just interested on…”

She shifted her gaze towards Jae-in, who was busy mixing the pearls of his bubble tea lodged on the bottom of the cup using the straw provided.

“…I’m interested on different kind of guys, so I guess we just didn’t click on that aspect. He’s not just for me, per se.”

“I see, so that’s the case. Well, it’s good that somehow this worked out towards Hyojong in the end. At least now that he has someone to talk to, he would no longer have to wait and…”

Whatever happened after Hongseok took charge of the conversation was quite thrown out of the window. Jae-in spaced out the moment that Nayeon joined their table, viewing it to be really awkward considering the last time he shared a table with a girl did not really end well. Unintentionally, he had that isolated feeling as Shinwon, Yeri, Hongseok and even the newcomer Nayeon shared their conversations as if he was the one who was new. There was no real particular reason for it; it’s just that he felt really left out all of a sudden.

It was certainly not because he was sad or anything; he’s sure that he’s not by any means. Jae-in had that sense of losing enthusiasm being around the friends he felt so far off at that time. Even during his spacing out, his eyes danced towards the figures of Jisoo and Dawn talking at the other table. He could not help but admire how picture-perfect they were framed along the glass-panels of the said café, with their figures etched in an amazing painting amidst the soft skies beyond. Their conversation was inaudible from where he was seated and yet he could see the genuine smiles that emanated from them both. The fact that all of this was a result of a collective effort of a good amount of people from United Kwangya… the results were just beautiful.

Of course, given that state he could not help but wonder how he and Soyeon would have turned out had things worked for both of them.

Would they be having the same kind of date as Hyojong and Jisoo are having now?

There was also another, completely unrelated question with that…

If Ningning made all of these possible, she’s supposed to be the first person to show up. Where is on earth she?

“Hey, Yoon Jae-in…!”

The sound of Shinwon’s voice immediately brought him back to the coffee shop with the rest of them. Jae-in didn’t even realize how long he was staying in silence, merely staring at the blank space of the cup’s dews formed on the outside surface. He didn’t even realize that the rest of the orders were already served and that everyone had their orders with them.

“Y-yeah…?” he remarked with a stutter, returning the obnoxious gaze that the rest of the table gave him. “Sorry, what was that?”

“You’re spacing out. You seem to be lost in so much thought,” Hongseok replied, tapping his back here. “We’re just about to tell you how rude you are for leaving Miss Nayeon there and not engaging on a conversation.”

“Yeah,” The girl, Nayeon, said with a smirk. “Your friends are talking about selling you to me in exchange for more drinks. You’re cute when you’re spacing out, though, I’ll give you that.”

What?

“Excuse him please. He just actually came from a break-up that’s why he’s like that,” blurted Shinwon, with Yeri beside him slapping his arm in retort. “Woops, it slipped out. Sorry man.”

“Oh, I’m sorry… I was just joking, by the way,” Nayeon said. “I didn’t know… but at least we know that you’re single.”

“You know what, now that we’re all here… well most of us, but anyway… can you just shine the light up on us on how you and Soyeon broke up anyway?” Hongseok said once again, taking command of the conversation like he did before.

“Why… why are you bringing this up right now?” asked Jae-in.

“Hey, if you all are going to talk about his past, I don’t think I should be here. I can just wedge in between Dawn and Jisoo’s conversation and make the guy a third wheel,” said Nayeon.

Jae-in shook his head and raised his hand to stop Nayeon on her tracks.

“No, no, it’s fine… you don’t need to leave. It’s… I really don’t mind.”

I doubt that she knows me or Soyeon that much to the point that it would matter that she knows anyway.

Plus, I really don’t mind. She seemed cool, so…

“Well, not only good looking but also really polite,” Nayeon remarked once again. “Alright, I’ll just pretend that I’m one of you. That doesn’t seem too hard to do.”

“Great then, so, what happened, Jae-in? Could you please enlighten us on what happened between you and Soyeon?”

“I’m curious as well,” Yeri said in agreement. “You two were so sweet from what I’ve heard, so this really came as a huge shock, especially since Soyeon’s been telling and updating me on what’s progressing between both of you. I certainly did not see this coming.”

She did that?

“I-Umm, well it’s complicated, but to cut the story short we never really worked out so we just decided… well, I decided that it’d be better if we went our separate ways… She didn’t entirely take that positively so, she’s mad at me I guess.”

“It turns out that Jae didn’t like Soyeon since the beginning,” Shinwon informed, causing Jae-in to eye him in shock as he clearly not expected him to blurt it out blatantly like that. It did not make it less of being true, however.

“Yeah well, that too. I’m kind of just struck with the alcohol when she confessed so I guess my reactions weren’t exactly… me, so to speak. Hongseok knows about this and I’ve talked about Shinwon pretty much has a good idea what I had in mind, because we already talked about it back then…”

“I got that right… I certainly won’t forget that,” Hongseok said with a teasing tone. “Well, that’s in the past. I already learned my lessons from that even in Sizzlers so we’re good. Let me ask: is it really over for the two of you? Is there zero chance of you ever talking to her again?”

“On terms of a romantic thing… I would say yes... maybe. However, I would definitely not close doors on her if the opportunity would give us a chance to be friends again. I kept on thinking that we started off on the wrong foot anyway, so we are bound to start talking again at some point, I hope.”

“I guess it makes sense now why you were so hesitant towards her, man… You know if you just told us that you didn’t like her in the first place, Ningning and I could’ve just told Soyeon and all the fuss didn’t happen. Maybe not tell her of everything but at least give her some hints that the impact would not be this troublesome. You are, I think, the first ever guy that rejected Soyeon’s advances, an act of which owes a huge respect on my regard. It’s hard to do that.”

“It might be my pride that’s not letting me do that before, but trust me: that’s what I’ve been planning to do all these times even before we had that talk. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it until I just did it out of pure desire to tell her the truth. I didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to be, but things could’ve been worse. You know, it is what it is. I’ll just have to deal with the outcome.”

Hongseok smiled. “Do you miss her though?”

Their table went awfully silent with the rest of them anticipating for Jae-in’s answer.

“I’d lie if I say I didn’t miss her. I think that’s a pretty normal thing to say.”

Yeri nodded, and due to the ensuing silence, Jae-in continued.

“Soyeon’s really very caring and is really relentless on showing her feelings, but sometimes it’s just too much. Maybe that’s what caused me to feel a bit strangled and obliged to do the things she does; pressured to return the same level and grade of affection towards her to be even. Not to mention, we have a lot of uncommon interests. Shinwon already had a hint that we’d not work out for that long.”

“If given a chance though,” Yeri asked. “Would you still date now? It doesn’t have to be Soyeon, let’s say a new person comes up at a much unexpected time, are you even up for it? I’m sure those things are not really that impossible right?”

Shinwon nodded. “That’s a good question. Things like that really do happen especially when you’re not looking for it.”

Nayeon, on the other hand, shifted on her seat as she waited eagerly for Jae-in’s reply. The young man was about to reply when he shook his head, effectively breaking free of the invisible spell the group unintentionally cast on him.

“Wait a minute, why are you all ganging up on me now, hmmm? I answered things because I thought that it would be just a one-time thing, how come we’re bringing my life onto the table all of a sudden? I thought we’re supposed to be here for Dawn?”

“I mean, given that, but you really can’t deny that it’s an interesting question,” said Hongseok from his side. “You have a tendency to go missing from the chat, especially after you and Soyeon broke up.”

“I don’t do that, man.”

“Actually you do, Jae-in.”

“I want to know as well…” Nayeon seconded, her face showing a hint of shyness this time around.

I really don’t get why Nayeon is so into this. We literally just met. I do hope she’s just kidding because it feels… suspicious.

Gearing up for an answer is so stupid for this. I never thought that I’d be brought upon the hot seat.

“I… I never really closed my heart for things. It would feel like a crime against nature to go against it. If a destined person comes, I’m sure that I’m going to feel it so… I’m not closing doors. If she comes, she comes.”

“Say Jae-in,” Hongseok asked after taking a sip from his tea. “If there’s someone out there who’s like Soyeon, but not Soyeon, would you go for it?”

“What the fuck is that question? I don’t really have standards on people anyway and you know of that. I have preferences, but I’m not pigeonholed into just those things. We’ll work out if we do, right?”

Silence erupted between them after a unison of ‘oohs’, with only the soft exchange of voices heard from Dawn’s table, followed by the soft laughs coming from Jisoo. Surprisingly, the very first person to break the silence barrier was Nayeon. She began her query by clearing her throat.

“Since I’m into this anyway, can I ask you a question as well?”

“Uhh… sure, go ahead.”

“Are you currently looking for someone or even eyeing a person right now?”

“Ehh… not really…”

“Is that true…?” Shinwon interfered. “Even though you never really developed legitimate feelings for Soyeon, you never thought of liking anyone else? Come on, North Line has a lot of pretty girls, I’m sure at least you’ve met someone that caught your eye.”

“That’s not the case. I’m… I guess I was just too busy enjoying life with you guys.”

“Why don’t you try looking for people if that’s the case?” Yeri asked.

“As much as having someone is really nice, I’m… I’m not into it. Not now, at least. I just want to focus on myself, clear things first. I’ll have to stand by what I told Soyeon; otherwise I just broke us up on the premise of a lie.”

“You’ll never really know that, Jae-in… I’m pretty sure at the time you’re going to meet your ‘one’; you’ll eat up every single word and promise you wrote in the air. Feelings do affect that much and it’s crazy when you think about it.”

“Well, if that does happen, then at least there’s one less sad person in the world. Cheers to that.”

It may have been a weird action to offer a toast with bubble teas, yet it was the one thing that Jae-in could think off to bring himself out of the situation. The conversation had reached a point that it was starting to be uncomfortable to everything that he was hearing. That seemed to be the safest, most polite way of getting out of the conversation and he merely grabbed it the first chance he saw. It worked out perfectly in the end.

---

I do not exactly know what helped ease the transition there, but I trust that maybe Hongseok caught up with the spell and immediately understood what was going on. If I did not know better, maybe he got flashbacks from what happened to Sizzlers that he got careful in his words; which I do appreciate. It was not the intention, but I’m glad that it worked out in the end.

We stayed on the café for about an hour or so, shifting the topic from my personal love life to other things that Shinwon could bring into the table. Things slowly started to fade away into the distance as Hongseok began to be the centre of the conversation. Time has passed and we didn’t even notice Dawn and Jisoo’s request to join tables into one huge, conversation for the new comers. Thankfully, the atmosphere started to be a bit friendly to me that I was able to join into the conversation further, but not with the occasional teasing coming from Nayeon. Even Jisoo seem to support on whatever her friend was doing.

But like all dates, at some point it had to end.

Among all of the members that joined the little get-together, it was me who ended up joining Dawn as we walked with Jisoo and Nayeon. Shinwon and Yeri seemed to have another date of their own, while Hongseok insisted of heading off home earlier because of prior commitments. The skies have begun to darken, with the soft patches of purple appearing on the once-blue sky, signalling the entrance of twilight onto the impending evening.

Dawn, Nayeon, Jisoo and I were all walking side-by-side, crossing the pedestrian lane towards the busy street where we would eventually part ways. Jisoo and Nayeon already agreed to head on off to Metro Station, on what I would imagine to talk about Dawn and what follows next. Hyojong, on the other hand, asked me to come walking down with him perhaps thinking of the same exact thing for Jisoo.

“So… I guess this is where we finally split paths,” I heard Jisoo say as she and Nayeon turned in place to face us. “We had fun. It was nice to meet all of you, and your friends are really fun to be with as well.”

“You forgot that they’re good looking as well,” added Nayeon, followed by an awkward eye-contact towards me.

I really don’t know what else to do so I just smiled.

“I’m happy that you had that impression. I had fun, so… it’s good-bye for now?” Dawn asked with a wide smile. Jisoo replied by nodding and eventually giving the two guys short bows. Nayeon immediately followed her gesture.

“Well, please take care heading home. I’ll see you around, and maybe out on another one like this… I hope that this won’t be the last, Hyojong-ah.”

“I’ll see you around school, Jisoo, Nayeon… thank you.”

“I have a reason to thank you too, so we’re even,” she replied.

I smiled and bowed, copying what Dawn had done to maintain consistency as well as courtesy. We gave our farewell waves to them both and proceeded to head down the long road. However, before we could even reach a good amount of distance, I heard Nayeon say my name.

“Good bye, Jae-in…!”

I turned my head towards her, about in perfect time to see her run a finger behind her ear and then proceeding to give me a teasing smile. I could only do so much but nod and smile as I resumed walking beside Dawn on a rather awkward and unexpected situation, probably made worse with a teasing chuckle from my friend.

“Would you look at that; Nayeon seemed to be interested in you, you know.”

“I think otherwise, man. I feel like she’s just teasing me, so I never made it a big deal even though she’s like that throughout the date.”

Dawn chuckled, which I really did expect to come from him.

“She’s always like that. I don’t even know if she’s sure half the time.”

“Yeah, but enough about me; congratulations, man; you really pulled this off and managed to bring her out on a date. Next time, it would just be the two of you and that’s going to be the start.”

“Man yeah I’m really looking forward for what’s ahead of me. I won’t waste everyone’s effort and I’ll truly pursue her.”

“I’ll just be supporting you. I’m sorry that I got really busy last week; I didn’t even know that you already finished the overhaul and managed to get a good impression. Shinwon told me about everything. It seemed that you never stopped working even after we had that convo. I’m proud of your achievements Dawnie boy.”

“Things got a bit fast, but at least it all went well. All I have to do now was to not fuck this up.”

“Yeah sure… like that’s going to happen…”

“Of course, I do hope that things like this would not only happen to me. I want all of you to be happy as well, especially you, Jae-in. I know that you just broke up with Soyeon, but I’m positive that you’re going to get your girl soon. On that note, why don’t you try my method out?”

I grinned.

“Ah, I know that it might be really effective but I’m not interested in looking for people just yet; not until Soyeon’s still fresh inside my memory. It would be a while ‘til I get comfortable going out with someone.”

“I guess I can respect that, man… I guess you really did not like her, huh?”

“Well, among a lot of things, yeah… it is what it is. Can’t force myself unto someone I’m not entirely into, right?”

Dawn and I paused for a moment as we continued walking down the path. The skies have now completely darkened as stars finally shone in the distance. In turn, the first batches of street lights as well as establishment illuminations were a discrete sign that evening was fast approaching.

“Have you… Have you told Soyeon of the real reason why you broke up with her, though?” I heard Dawn ask after we passed by a well-occupied cake shop.

“I did. I told her of everything. I even got slapped for it, remember?”

“Did you tell her, like EVERYTHING?”

“Hmmm…? What are you going at?”

“Did you tell Soyeon that you broke up with her because you already have a girlfriend?”

---

Next Chapter: The Ideal Girlfriend

[bluesidez]

Hey just wanted to reach out cause it’s been long since I binged something that literally would take my sleep away! I started before going to bed and I couldn’t stop reading GymRatMiguel!

The way you tell the story is so beautiful, I gotta tell you I connected instantly to it from the begging cause it reminded me of my first love that was also in college, and the way conchata hovers over Miguel was the same thing that happened with my and that guy I dated 😂😂😂😂 similarities went so crazy that I even texted him about it and he laughed!

But then I gotta tell you I got soooooo mad/sad/teary roller coaster of emotions with all the Xina thing I couldn’t put my phone away and kept reading it.

I’m rambling but you have a way to tell stories that I admire! Thank you so much for sharing them!

Ok wait there’s a lot I want to react to but first:

WAHHH THANK YOU!! This message is so lovely!!! 🥺🩵 I was staring at it with my mouth agape!

NOW! My detailed response:

BINGING?!! 😣🥺 I hope you weren’t up too late!! Sleep is important! (Something I should stay to myself) BUT! I’m also glad this story was that entertaining.

Thank you!! I try to tell stories right from the heart so that means a lot.

Omg. I highkey lowkey want to know what part you showed your college bf. (I also feel a teeny bit embarrassed 😭) I always get so shocked when people say that my stories remind them of aspects of their offline (real?) lives. Like wdym your husband/bf/friend/parent/relative actually does these things?

The Xina arc has definitely brought a lot of emotions from too so many people 😭. I feel like there are some aspects that I wish I could rewrite, but I like what it made me think about. I hope that anyone who has/had simiar problems to Xina, Miguel, or reader finds peace in there on way. 🙂‍↕️

And that’s such a lovely comment! I never really thought I would be the writer to get comments about the way I write, but to see you say it makes me go WOAH!! 🥺

Again, thank you so much for this!! I often see when people like/go through the series, but rarely do people comment once they get to the newest update. 🥺 I really do mean it when I say this warmed my heart!

[shadowphatom22]

Walker’s and his adopted halfa son

Chapter 3: The unknown or known

No one point of view

Last time…

After the officers left, along with Danny left. The ghosts that were still there were shocked and some of them were guilty of what had happened, then there were ghosts who were planning something.

??? 1: oh the ghost child is a baby how interesting (with an evil face)

??? 2: It seems so what should we do?

The two of them went somewhere else, learning this information and getting concerned looks from the ghosts that were still there.

the chapter starts NOW!

Skulker was the first to speak although he was slightly nervous and he did not call Danny by his nickname.

Skulker: do Danny is a baby? (still shocked)

Ember: (heavy sigh) This is taking the meaning of baby pop to another level. (shaking her head)

Frostbite who was on his back to the far frozen and saw the whole world was shocked and angry; and flew back as fast as he could.

Johnny 13: This is insane

Kitty: This is…(but her words dead off)

Meanwhile back at Fenton work’s

In the Fenton home Jazz is in her room it has a bookshelf up against the wall next to the window her desk is right under the window her homework is on the desk he memory book is right and her computer is in the upper right-hand side with the messenger on the screen, next to it and the dresser next to the bedroom door on the left side and the right side of the door is her bed and her end table with her alarm clock on it. Jazz was lying on her bed in her pj’s writing in her dairy After some time she looked at the time and it was 2:00 am Sometimes she helped Danny with first aid when needed; however today she noticed her parents were acting strange and she couldn’t seem to figure it out so she got up and went to her desk to her computer and message sam and tucker

Jazz logged online

Jazz: Hey have you guys heard from Danny or is he with either of you?

Sam logged online

Tucker logged online

a few moments later

both Sam and Tucker: he was not at home. ( at the same time)

Sam, and Tucker: ……

Jazz slightly creeped out: … oh okay can we come back to the fact that both of us responded at the same time later? Right now I am worried about Danny and to top it off Mom and Dad are acting different and it’s wired, like Dad is not eating fuge and not shouting about ghosts and Mom stopped talking to him about whatever kind of stuff they created or what they current working on, and vald was here too but I don’t know what they talked about.

Tucker turned on the video chat

Tucker: Both Dr. F’s and Vald in the same room?!?!?!?! ( complete shock)

Sam: that is not right do you think they know? (a bit panicky and angry) and why the hell was vald there it does not make any sense.

Jazz grows quiet and while looking at her bedroom door and Sam, Tucker is both quiet and waits because Jazz puts her figure in front of her lips signing them to be quiet her parents could be outside her door listing in then Sam comes up with a idea after looking at her calendar

Sam: Hey Jazz are we still on for our girl's sleepover tomorrow?

Tucker: OOH girls sleep over??? oh never mind, oh it; 's 2 am Well night guys

Tucker logged offline

Sam and Jazz both glare at him until he logged off and they both laugh

Jazz: Severs him right ( still laughing)

Sam: yeah! so are we still on?

Jazz: yup there are shows that I can’t wait to watch.

Sam: to work on your thesis on goth?

Jazz blushed and stuttered and said: That's not it.

Jazz logged offline

after that Jazz went to bed however she was right her parents were lying on the other side of the door. Both Jack and Maddie went to their room to talk before going to sleep for the night.

Jack: That is strange she never hangs out with Sam and Daniel is still out and about ( with a very mad ton in his voice)

Maddie: Do you think Jasmine knows is with them on the secret

Jack: make sense

Both of them are quiet until their phones ring both with different numbers

Jack answers his first: Hey Vald (in a flat tone)

Maddie: Hello? yes, this is her and both of them finished their phone conversations and went to bed

The next day…

Jazz woke up and did her morning routine after that she packed her bag, along with her school bag, and put them in her car then she went to Denny’s room and grabbed his emergency bag and school bag, along with all Ghost stuff in his room such as the floppy disk that was the tec ghost jail cell, and the ghost journal and his dairy and her too. After putting that stuff in the car she went back in the house and left a note that she would be sleeping over at Sam’s house for their annual sleepover. Then she locked the front door went in her car and left, when she got there and knocked at the door she was greeted by Mr.Manson.

Jazz: Good morning Mr. Manson

Mr. Manson smiled: Good morning Jesmine I am fine, Sam is still asleep she was so excited about the first break sleepover that (he started laughing)

Jazz: That is fine I can wait for her we both know she is not a morning person.

Mr.Manson: Oh and you do not have to worry about Mrs. Manson she is on vacation with grandma and her friends, also Mr. Foley called early he said that they are on the way here as well and will be here soon, something tells me this is about Danny or parents, or both of them (said with a question look on his face)

Jazz (sigh): Unfortunately that is true and we might have to tell Mr. Lancer about Danny because it’s getting hard to hide his ghost half and it’s getting worse by the day lately

Mr. Manson thought for a moment and said: I agree with you however we should wait until the Foleys are here and Sam is awake and had coffee, in the meantime why don’t we grab your stuff from your car and put it in the room you are staying in and wait in the living room for everyone.

Jazz: sound fantastic Mr. Manson ( with a sigh)

as they start to unpack Jazz’s car Mr. Manson notices that there are more bags and also spaces them bag ( so it came to that plan they had, I better call in and let them know what has happened and what to do from here) after they bring in the bags they sit in the living room with the fireplace going it low but it keeps the room warm in the middle of October weather in front of the fireplace there is a tv above it and the couches right in front it along with an armchair too. Jazz was sitting on the couch and Mr. Manson sitting in the armchair, talking about who was the most annoying ghost.

Jazz: easily Box ghost

Mr.Manson took a sip of his coffee and then set it on the coffee table.

Mr.Manson: I have to agree with you on that just how does he pop out of nowhere (he whispers) hoping the ghost does not show up at this time?

after a few minutes of waiting and nothing happening they both sigh of relief

Jazz: from my understanding he is in ghost jail from what Danny told me

Mr.Manson: Good wait, what? Does the ghost zone have a government?

but before Jazz could answer him they both heard Sam needing coffee.

Jazz looked at her phone because she felt it buzz in her pocket: Sam is up and I got a text from Tucker they are almost here she looked back at her phone to reply

Mr. Manson: She can play a really good zombie in a movie or show, don’t tell her I said that

Jazz smile: I won’t ( trying not to laugh but failing)

Sam is waking in with a half cup of coffee in her hand in the living room.

[digital-matchmake]

I’ve seen your AU and I just thought that the digital gang were basically the stick figures from Alan Becker if you heard of him, so I thought someone namely Jax playing some games like Minecraft and the rest just got hooked on it.

Oh geez you've reminded me of this fanfic I made a while ago for shits and giggles but now here have at thee!

(Admittedly I know the stick figures from Alan Becker and watched some of the vs minecraft of them but I never really gotten into it but yeah it's basically that except the characters can get out in the physical world and can only access devices the reader has access on)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally sunday, where you are finally free from your responsibilities for a bit just so you can play games on your computer and for today, your friends are online for a bit so you decided to invite to your minecraft server for a while to just hang out for a bit.

"Ok where should we put our base?" You question onto your mic as you fix your headset a bit, though your question was met with two chuckle from your friends.

"Bruh chill we just started, we haven't even gathered wood yet" One of your friends laugh as the three of you begin to collect wood

"Also when are you going to change your avatar from steve?"

"Idk, probably when I have the time and motivation to create my avatar" You casually answer, leaning back on your seat as you continue to collect wood, it's times like these that you like, just hanging out peacefully with your friends and just having a peac-

*Jax has joined the server*

"Huh? Who the fuck is Jax?"

"I don't know, shit did you guys invite your friend here?"

"Hell nah, I don't know anyone named Jax, (Y/n) do you?"

This is one of those days you are glad you do not have a facecam on, because your face says that you fully know who the hell this is.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT" You interally panic as you try and quickly come up with a response "I uh, I don't know them, did someone managed to leak the server IP?"

Whilst your friends are responding, you look around in minecraft to see him, his avatar basically the same as he is, complete with that shit eating grin as you mute yourself on discord and began to talk to the monitor directly.

"Jax I swear to christ, get out of the server!"

"Aww don't be like that sweetcheeks, I just wanted to see what the fuss is about in this game"

Ohhh his snarky comment combined with his usual nicknamings made you grip your controller as you try to not think about just trying to reach into your monitor and yank him, You can't do that anyway without literally breaking your monitor.

*Ragatha has joined the server*

"Oh shit" You hear Jax say before.

*Jax has left the server*

*Ragatha has left the server*

Oh thank the lord, at least someone saved just in time before your friends began to ask more question as you unmute.

"Sorry I had to check something but it seems all is good now, Now where were we?"

And your game continued without any issues, as you and your friends continue to play, you can ever so slightly hear Ragatha telling Jax off in your living room but it's too muffled for you to understand but now atleast that rabbit man is getting put in his place... again.

-------------

After a while you and your friends wrap up and bid one another farewell as they went offline to which you had call in the digital gang into your monitor, since Jax is curious about the game, you might as well introduce it to them as you start create a new world as they watch in your monitor as you hover your mouse over the name.

"Oh Oh! Let me name it!" Jax says as he reached over to the server name and begin to type 'Hell-' to which you just backspaced it all before he can even finish "Hey!"

"I am not gonna let you name anything, anyone else have a suggestion?"

Andd that was your mistake as they begin to fight over what name it will be, with only Gangle, Ragatha and Pomni not joining in the fight as they talk to one another of ideas, welp this is gonna take a while before you even play the damn game as you stood up from your seat, you are gonna need a drink and maybe a snack for this.

[captainseamech]

A grayfaced sailor shanted:

Hey Cap'n. Got a minute to talk? I've seen your... situationship between you and Mauga and... I wanted to talk about it in a way you'd better understand.

While I agree that my anonymous siblings have been annoying you for quite long, their goal is to successfully pair you up with the Samoan. We know what you went through. Your insecurities, your fear of your own strength... We get all of it. Mauga is strong as hell as you could see while fighting him, his strength is pretty similar to yours in a way which makes him a perfect match! And he's handsome too, you can't lie. He can't die easily, there's no fear of losing him that way.

And like I said, we know what you went through. Your traumas, your losses... everything. Mauga can also protect you. He can make you safe. He's trying to get your attention because he also likes you. You can't deny that you like him too, the signals are as clear as day. Just give the guy a chance, you will not regret it.

             High Tide sat there and heard all of it, both servos firmly curling into fists for a moment. On one hand, they were right. The mech, in fact, went through a lot before; going as far to, say, nearly losing his life in different occasions. His spark got fragile over the cycles, he grew more and more distant from the world around him and more hesitant to show his real self. He saw a bit of what Mauga was capable of doing and that sparkled interest from the mech. But on the other hand...

             “Tch. Y’all really don’t give up, do ya?” He finally spoke at last. “Ya really like t’ think I have a thing for him, which I don’t. Well, apparently I can’t make ye change yer minds on it, so let’s make a little scenario. Let’s pretend that I do, indeed, have feelings for him... I wouldn’t go there and simply confess like it’s no big deal. I’m not naive like when I was young, I gained lots o’ experience t’ tell that it’s goin’ t’ be a one sided thing. Trust me, I know what I’m sayin’.”

             A pause.

             “Mauga is... a flirt, for the lack of a better word. He likes to flirt to cause a reaction, I noticed that already. I dunno what made him cause me a headache almost daily now, but he’s an annoyance at best, a jester even. Also,” one dark servo raised to gesture over his torso, “he clearly tried to offline me. Granted that I provoked it by punchin’ him first but... still, goin’ as far as t’ rip my chest plate open is not a sign of likeness; at least, not to me. He still thinks I’m an Omnic, which I’m not.”

             Another pause. A longer one, even.

             “Even if that wasn’t the case, even if we, indeed, shared the same feelings... They’re all at war here, from what I saw. Durin’ war, the main priority is to survive long enough ‘til you end with your team’s victory while avoidin’ casualties. In a war, your survival is what ye should focus on... In a war, ye don’t have time t’ waste by chit-chattin’. In a war, ye don’t have time t’ rest properly. In a war, ye don’t have time t’ fall in love...”

             “In a war, bein’ in a relationship is a huge mistake that could drag yer partner to their grave. I don’t want that to happen again. Do ye understand me now?”

[atonalginger]

WIP Wednesday

@bearlytolerant reminded my it was Wednesday (or more like was going to be Wednesday soon for me but same difference) and so I'm going to take care of this now:) I'm also tagging loosely by saying if you see this and you have a WIP you want to share, tag you're it.

my chunk is from Ranger and the Deputy and the second arc, which focuses on the mission to find Barrett, Heller, and Lin. This chunk comes with a tw: death for a side character. Will throw the chunk under a cut

He could see Kitty already moving for the crash, her suppressed Rattler in hand. He hurried after her while Jazz made her way to the Frontier, calling out to Vasco about the busted radio. Del pinged Kitty’s suit and waited for the line to open.

“I don’t know what happened to the radio, I couldn’t understand a word you were saying,” she said, her voice bouncing with her foot falls, “Vasco picked up a distress signal from this ship as soon as we got in orbit. He said it was set after the crash and had a hidden message in it from Barrett.”

“Jazz is going to look at the radio, I’m just glad you got here in one piece,” Del finally caught up to her, “that’s a clever set up Vasco discovered.”

“Be better if it wasn’t attached to a crashed ship,” Kitty skid to a stop with a gasp. He looked out in front of them and saw a body hunched over in a dingy white spacesuit with orange panels. There was no movement from the body. Kitty dropped her pistol and broke into a sprint, “No! Heller!”

Delgado ran after her, hoping his eyes were wrong. Suits were bulky after all, they didn’t move with people’s breath like street clothes. He could just be hurt, they could rush him to Akila City, Dr. Cartwright would get him patched up.

Kitty knelt next to Heller and leaned down, checking his suit systems. Through the open channel she was panicking, “no, no, no, no, no…”

Del joined her and looked over her shoulder. All systems were offline. Heller’s skin was blue with a gray overcast, eyes closed, deep bruising around the sockets. His lips were purple. His body was completely limp and slumped over onto the ground when she went to sit him up. Kitty sobbed, gasping for breath. Del reached out to her and drew her close, panic knotting his stomach. He was not equipped to handle a breakdown in the best of times and these were definitely not the best of times.

Kitty’s sobs fell away with a firm sniff and then a sudden stillness fell over her. Her words, when she finally spoke, were ice cold, “where is everyone else?”

“That’s a good question, deputy,” Del decided to keep things professional, “we should look for clues. A slate or notes, anything to point us in a direction.”

“Should we try inside the ship?” Kitty was arranging Heller’s body so he laid comfortably on the ground. As she lifted his right hand a slate fell to the ground. She scooped it up quickly, “or maybe…” She pressed play:

Unknown Voice: You’ve given the Fleet a lot of trouble, Barrett.

Del knew that voice. That was Matsura, a Fleet captain he thought he had control of, one of his only inside lines to the Crimson Fleet. Matsura shouldn’t have been in the Narion system at all. He realized that's where he knew Brogan’s name from: Brogan was one of Matsura’s lieutenants.

Barrett: Hey, since when is surviving being attacked ‘causing trouble’? Hey, pilot, could you move your arm a little bit to the left? I can’t make out the console.

Matsura: Don’t move! He’s trying to figure out our destination! Probably transmitting this conversation right now while we’re still in orbit.

Don’t sound so excited, Matsura, Del thought. He knew that was part of the bastard’s plan.

Barrett: Well, yeah. Thought I was making that pretty obvious. Okay, okay. Put the gun down. I’m done, see? My retinas are pointing away from the console and towards this lovely view of space we have out the window.

Matsura: Tie him up. Once we get back to the base, the fun starts…

“It’s all just a game to him,” Kitty said flatly. She was looking through the meta data on the transmission again, “Bessel III.”

“That’s where Matsura’s base of operations is,” Del said.

“What?” Kitty turned around, her eyes burning with rage, “you know the asshole who did this?”

“He’s not supposed to be in this system!”

“How many more are there?” she was shaking, her face turning red.

“It’s a part of the job!” he shouted defensively, “you find the ones willing to play ball and cut deals for information. He was supposed to be staying out of Freestar systems and in exchange I didn’t raze his fucking base to the ground. He broke that deal so now we’re going to wipe his shitty home off the fucking map.”

[lifetimeshipper]

Angel From A Dream

Chapter 18

~~~~~~~~~~

"Were you talking to Smokescreen?" Ratchet asked as he and Knock Out continued to work on Sideswipe.

"Yeah, he wanted to know how it was going."

Ratchet was about to say something when they suddenly heard beeping, "Scrap, he's offlining!" Knock Out shouts as he does everything he can to get Sideswipe's spark going again. They send electrical shock waves into him again and again, Knock Out was beginning to panic. He can't lose his son, his son will not die on his watch.

~~~~~~~~~~

Smokescreen stopped driving and transformed as he placed a servo over his spark. The others stop and transform as well after they see him, "Smokescreen, what's wrong?" Bumblebee asked as they all walked over to him.

"Sideswipe... I feel him slipping away. I can't lose him, not my son," Smokescreen says as lubricant starts filling his optics.

"Have faith in Knock Out and Ratchet. Knock Out will not let him offline, I know he won't," Arcee says as she places a servo on his shoulder.

"I can feel Knock Out panicking, he doesn't believe in himself but he's trying. You guys should go on ahead, I'll catch up."

"I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone, Bulkhead will stay with you," Bumblebee tells him. Bulkhead nods, as much as he wants to find Strongarm he knows Smokescreen can't be left alone right now, he needs to stay and comfort his old friend.

"You two just catch up when you can. If we find Steeljaw I'll leave a little bit of him intact for you, Bulk," Wheeljack says before he transforms.

"We'll try not to beat him up too much without you," Arcee says before she transforms as well. Bulkhead just chuckles as the rest of them transform and they all drive off towards the base.

~~~~~~~~~~

Knock Out continues to work tirelessly to save his son. They were eventually able to get him stable again but they needed to hurry and finish the surgery before he went again, next time might be for good. Knock Out's spark was pulsing much faster as he mended wires and wielded metal back into place, he'll never forgive himself if his own son offlines under his care. He would never be able to look his mate in the optics again, nothing would be the same between them.

Is he stable? Smokescreen asks through their bond.

For now, but we'll need to hurry. Hopefully, he won't crash again.

Hopefully. That scared me, I really thought we were going to lose him.

So did I, but I'm determined not to let him offline. We just have a bit more to go and we'll be done with the surgery.

Thank Primus.

"We're almost done, Knock Out," Ratchet says reassuringly. He's seen medics fall apart while working on their own sparkling, it's not easy. That's why he was more than willing to come with Knock Out and Smokescreen to help with the surgery because he knew it was gonna be difficult for Knock Out. "Do you want me to finish up while you take a break?"

"No, I want to see this through."

"Just let me know if you need to step out."

"Thanks, Ratchet. I really appreciate it."

~~~~~~~~~~

"He's stable again," Smokescreen tells Bulkhead.

"Thank Primus. Let's go catch up with the others."

Smokescreen nods as he transforms with Bulkhead following him and the two drive off, "Hey, Smokescreen, I've been wondering. What traits did Sideswipe get from you? I know he took on Knock Out's red paint job."

Smokescreen laughed, "He took on his red paint job and his obsessiveness over his looks. Sides does not like having his paint job scratched or messed up in any way just like Knock Out. He got my blue optics and cockiness."

"Would have thought the cockiness came from both of you."

Smokescreen laughed again, "True, but he mostly got it from me as well as his thing about just running into situations without thinking."

"Now that is so you."  The two just laugh as they continue driving.

~~~~~~~~~~

As Steeljaw and Strongarm walked through the forest, Strongarm felt very sluggish. Between Steeljaw cutting back her Energon rations, him biting her to mark her, her heat, and them fragging twice, it all is paying a really heavy toll on her body. Steeljaw can see it and he grows concerned, "Are you alright, Strongarm? Would you like for me to carry you?"

Strongarm sent him a sideways glare as she growled, "No I'm not alright and no I don't want you to carry me! In fact, I would really appreciate it if you never touched me again!"

"Your heat is making you cranky."

Strongarm fully turns to him with a hardened glare, "You're gonna blame my heat!? Steeljaw, you put me on very low Energon rations for four days, it's not just my heat!"

Steeljaw glared back at her, "You tried to escape! Did you think that would go unpunished!? You're lucky I didn't do worse than that!"

Strongarm gets in front of him and brings them both to a halt, "Be honest with me, Steeljaw. What is it you really want from me? Why are you so bent on making me your mate?"

"All I want from you is your love. I've been dreaming of you for the past couple of years, I don't know how or why but I have. You plagued my dreams every time I slept and then it got to where you started plaguing my processor. I couldn't stop seeing your beautiful face and your beautiful blue optics, and eventually, I started falling in love with you and I was determined to find you and find out who you were. Then I finally found you, the moment I turned around and saw you I knew I found my mate. I couldn't let you go."

Strongarm looked up at him as her cheeks tinted blue. What kind of response is she supposed to make to that? She narrows her optics, "That's the biggest load of bull I ever heard! Why don't you try telling the truth for a change and stop making up stories!" She says as she starts walking off.

Steeljaw grabs her arm and turns her back around to look at him, "I'm not lying to you, Strongarm." He places a servo on her face as he makes her look him in the optics, "I'm telling the truth. I don't know what it is but something is making me have dreams about you which have made me fall in love with you."

Strongarm looks to the side as she recalls reading stories about that kind of thing happening to other bots, "I've read about that happening to others. I just can't believe it's happening to me."

"Did you read about what causes it?"

Strongarm nods as she looks at him again, "I did. It happens to those who are going down the wrong path, they start dreaming about the one that is supposed to help guide them the right way. The dreams are supposed to help them fall in love with the mech or femme so when they actually meet it can go easier, especially when the one that was chosen for them is on the opposite side. It's usually set in motion by one that was very close to them, like a parent or a close friend, that doesn't like seeing them going down the wrong path." She pulls away from him as she moves back, "Some bot that was close to you and is now in the well of all-spark has set this up and for some reason has chosen me."

Steeljaw remains silent as he processes everything she just told him. Some bot he was close to and is now with Primus has set this up. He can think of only one that would try to get him on the right path, his carrier.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1

Next Chapter

[delphi-dreamin]

I Just Wanna Be (The Girl you Like)

[Stream 5]

The announcement is made.

Characters: MC!Delphi, Lucifer, Asmodeus, Beelzebub

Relationships: Delphi x Asmo, Delphi x Beel, Delphi x Lucifer (mutual pining)

Word Count: 1276

Warnings: None, general angst

Notes: Hey y'all! I am back from vacation and have been working on things again! I was trying and trying to make this chapter longer, but it just didn't want to be. So, a bit shorter than usual. I'm not gonna make any promises about chapter length going forward, lol. They'll be as long or as short as they want to be. I can't guarantee s normal posting schedule, but I will say that I'm working on the next chapter now. Hope you enjoy!

Previous | Next

Saturday - Evening

OracleDelphi is online

“Asmo, I don’t want to do this,” Delphi sighs, folding up in her moon chair and wrapping her robe around herself. “I just want to announce the collab and be done.”

Asmo smiles at her pityingly from her bed, reaching out to place a hand on her knee. “We could do that, hon. If you aren’t feeling up to streaming tonight. Just pop on, give the announcement, and then we can have a movie night.”

She groans, “No we can’t…”

“What’s stopping us, kitten?” He has a point. She doesn’t want to admit it, but he has a very valid point. She’s only ever missed one stream before and that was because she had to study for exams. If she took a mental health day, her followers would understand.                

Delphi flounders for an excuse. Finally, she shrugs. “Nothing? I guess?”

Asmo sighs, “Buuut?”

“But after my Wednesday stream I talked to Wolf…” she admits with a groan, burying her face in her hands.

Asmo sits straight up, scrambling for the edge of the bed. “Tell me everything,” he demands. She groans again, curling even further into herself, but he grabs her ankle and pulls on it. Off-balance, Delphi slides down in her chair with a yelp.

“Asmo!” she snaps, swatting at his hand on her leg. She huffs, "It wasn't that big a deal.”

“Then tell me!” Asmo insists.

She realizes that she isn’t getting out of this and sighs. She readjusts her robe, sitting up cross-legged in the chair.

“You were watching the chat, right?” she asks, playing with the hem of her robe. At his nod, she continues, “Well, after I went dark, I messaged him.”

Delphi hands over her D.D.D. with the chat open, staring down at her feet while Asmo reads. It doesn’t take him long, and when hands the device back, he sighs, “I’m proud of you for telling him how you feel, hon. But why didn’t you stick around to talk to him?”

“What else was I supposed to say?” Delphi cries. “’I’ve fallen in love with the idea of you and I don’t want you to leave in case you’re actually the demon of my dreams?’”

Asmo grimaces. “Maybe not quite that…”

Lucifer gets the notification that she’s online just as he’s about to lecture Levi and Mammon for destroying RAD property again. Mammon owed Levi money and Levi demanded it back so that he could order some new figure from one of his countless anime. Mammon refused, of course, because he doesn’t have a single Grimm to his name and Levi had summoned Lotan in the middle of the RAD cafeteria.

Both of them hang from their ankles in the stairwell, whining about how it’s the other’s fault and they shouldn’t be punished. Lucifer checks his notifications and sighs. As much as he wants to just leave them both here and go to his room to watch Delphi’s stream, he knows that they likely won’t be here when he gets back.

He should have let Barbatos have them.

Delphi sits in her chair in her robe, the red light on her camera blinking to show that she’s live. She sighs and puts on a smile.

“Hello, my loves,” she says, her voice hoarse. “I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather the past couple of days, so I just have a quick announcement for you before I go offline. I know I’ve talked about my channel manager before, but we’ve been doing some talking and we have a special treat planned for y’all.”

She waves Asmo over from his seat on her bed and he floats into frame. He’s wearing a matching robe and slides into the chair beside her, resting his head on her shoulder with a seductive smile at the camera. Delphi grins.

“Everyone, meet my channel manager, Asmo. Y’all may know him as AsmoBaby.”

“Hi kittens!” Asmo jumps in, waving.

Giggling, Delphi continues, “This time next week, Asmo and I will be doing a special collab stream!”

“We’ll be streaming from both of our accounts, so make sure to join us!” Asmo adds with a wink.

Delphi smiles and finishes, “That’s all I have for you today, loves. I’m going to go get some rest and hopefully feel better soon. I love you all and we’ll see you next week!”

OracleDelphi is offline

Lucifer gets to his office after two hours of lecturing, sinking into his chair with a sigh. He runs his hand through his hair and checks his D.D.D. Ten minutes after the first notification, he received a second saying she was offline. He opens his laptop and checks her uploaded videos, realizing there’s nothing there from today. Or Wednesday, for that matter.

He closes the laptop with a growl and leans back in his chair. As hungry as he is for the little human, he doesn’t feel like going through old videos for the hundredth time. Instead, he pulls out his D.D.D. and types out a text.

L: Delphi, are you feeling alright?

He erases the message, rolling his eyes. Of course she isn’t, that’s a stupid question.

L: I know you’re busy tomorrow, but I’d like to speak with you after breakfast.

He erases again. She’ll think she’s in trouble.

L: Would you like to go to Hell’s Kitchen with me for dinner Monday evening? I have something I’d like to discuss with you.

That could work.

His thumb hovers over the ‘send’ icon for what feels like an eternity. What is he supposed to say to her? That he’s her secret admirer on DevilFans and he’s actually deeply, madly, desperately in love with her? That every time he sees her in those fishnet tights of hers he wants to fuck her on every surface in the House plus a few at RAD? That he doesn’t care if he isn’t the demon she’s been dreaming of this whole time, he just wants to be the only demon she ever needs for the rest of her life?

He erases the message and tosses his D.D.D. onto his desk, groaning. Damn his stupid pride.

There’s a knock on her door that startles Delphi out of her conversation with Asmo.

“Delphi?” a familiar voice calls from the hall and she grins.

“Come on in,” she replies.

A head of bright ginger hair appears from behind the door, peeking around the room before Beel enters. He closes the door behind him and moves to sit on the bed, a granola bar half into his mouth by the time he gets there.

“Hey, Bub,” Delphi sighs, holding out her free hand to him. Asmo has her other in a vice-like grip.

“Hi,” he greets her with a warm grin. Beel takes her hand and squeezes it lightly. “Your chat blew up before you went offline. Everyone seems really excited for the stream next week.”

She lets out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “That’s great! I was a bit worried that it would be too much, but I’m glad everyone seems excited.”

Asmo smiles, nuzzling into her neck. He murmurs into her skin, “I told you it’d be okay, hon.”

“I know, but I still worry,” Delphi giggles, shying away from his warm breath on her skin. It sends a shiver down her spine and makes her hips jerk involuntarily. She clutches Beel’s hand tighter as she tries to move.

“You shouldn't,” Beel tells her, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “Even if a few people leave, you still have a lot of fans.”

“Thank you both,” she sighs, relaxing into Asmo's hold and smiling up at Beel. “I love you guys so much.”

Taglist: @sassykattery @bite-sized-devil @sparkbeast20 @kyungjoon-do @consolationblog @rensphilia @flemmingbamse

[frecklystars]

I was a bit worried seeing you were offline for a long time and hoped it meant you were recovering mentally, rather than the latter.

I have a hard time saying things like 'everything will turn out okay' because so many things are random and it's hard to predict how things will turn out because something unexpected can blindside you.

I'm sorry you're going through this right now, it sucks super hard, I know how hard it is trying to fight tooth and nail just to get by when you've been at your limit for so long.

I genuinely do hope things get better for you, and that the future gives you a fucking break and some room to breathe.

I know we're kind of strangers, but whatever happens, I'll miss you.

There are plenty of people online and offline who would miss you, I'm glad you've stuck around this long, and I know it's a struggle but I hope you get to experience plenty of more joy in life.

Hi sweet anon. I'm so sorry that I worried you, that wasn't my intention. I'm surprised that someone noticed I wasn't here. I knew my queue would just keep posting regardless if I was online or not -- which is honestly why I have it in the first place, I am not online everyday and I like my blog continuing to be "active" even when I'm offline doing other things. But I didn't know someone would notice "huh hey Keri isn't posting any self ship stuff" and then wonder "hey is she ok..." so. Thank you for worrying about me, I appreciate you keeping me in your thoughts.

And yeah you have a point, it is really hard to know things are gonna be ok. This has been the hardest year of my life and the pessimist in me keeps saying "wow it's just gonna keeeeep getting worse, isn't it, it's really just one thing after another" but I keep trying to remember it's just... just this one, single situation with a really, really, really shitty person, and it will eventually end, or at least get easier, because Jesus Christ nothing lasts forever, right?? And when you said "I know how hard it is trying to fight tooth and nail just to get by when you've been at your limit for so long", yeah man, you really said it, it really feels that way. I don't know how else to express to people that this is an every single day occurrence that eats at me every second that I'm alive. It's exhausting. There's no peace of mind, there's no sense of feeling safe. It really sucks and sometimes I really wish I could openly talk about it here, but I'm worried I'll scare people too much, because it's such a... severe situation. I am so scared all the time. It's literally the only thing I ever think about. It's the first thing that comes into my head when I wake up, and when I sleep I have nightmares about it, and I'll be working at my new job and literally so stressed about this situation, that it'll override New Job Stress. Like, what? I went in for a job interview a couple of months ago and was so stressed about my situation that I literally didn't care that I was in a job interview. I've been bartending and learning how to cook things I've never cooked before, needing to serve 2000 people in less than 30 minutes, and, like, that should stress me out. That should make me nervous. I'm not! I just have the situation + all of my trauma from this past year stuck in my head 24/7 that I literally cannot feel nervous about anything else. It's uh, horrifying! It's like I'm experiencing my trauma from the last year and a half all over again. except, like. worse. but!! but it will get better, right!! Things are supposed to be worse before they get better or whatever the saying is. I am working on having a more positive attitude towards everything despite The Horrors™

Anyway -- thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a lot to me that you sent me your well wishes. I'm still stuck in a bad spot mentally, but I'm trying to lean back into self shipping to get me through this, I'm trying to interact with people again. It really helps when you have people who tell you verbally "yes I am on your side and in your corner and I believe you and YES you're going to be okay I promise." And reading messages like yours genuinely helps a LOT, because really that is the best thing someone can do for me, is to just tell me "hey I hope you feel better and I am here thinking about you, it will be okay"

One more thing: thank you for saying you'd miss me. I'd miss you too. You seem like a sweetheart and I appreciate you taking the time to write this message for me. Come into my inbox anytime and remember to take good care of yourself for me 💕💕

[talesfromasnarkylisa]

Lacey: Chapter 9

James: August X, 2023

Of course I didn’t have time to actually edit the draft Lacey gave to me. Not that I was planning on doing so. Ideally, she’d pester me over it, so I could have something to use against her. If worse came to worst and she decided to actually send it to the editors, they’d laugh her off. As for me…I could just claim it was a misunderstanding.

It had been a few days since Lacey sent me the messy piece. I hadn’t even touched it. Between a nasty gig at work from a very picky set of wedding guests, several other pieces to go over from Music Refined hopefuls, keeping all my social media accounts afloat and relevant, all while ensuring I could also live offline, where would I find the space?

My friends were starting to get worried about me. Darian texted me multiple times asking if I was okay. I left him on read. Corianna offered to help me go over some of the pieces. Of course, this was against the rules. I couldn’t say yes.

Even Inez - who I had only known for a few weeks - wanted to know what the fuss was all about.

Inez Cortez (Thu, Aug 10, 7:17 PM): Is everything fine? I haven’t heard from you in a few days. What’s going on?

I decided to send a quick reply to all of my friends’ concerned messages. It essentially told them that I was overloaded with work and that I got far too exhausted to go virtually anywhere by the time it was done. Given the nature of my beta reader tasks, they understood. There was no way in hell I’d tell any of them what I wanted to do to Lacey.

Fortunately, I was able to make an exception for Darian. I had a little time to squeeze in during any evening in the next few days. I messaged him to ask if he could come over to my apartment. He said yes.

Saturday Evening

I was cleaning up my workspace to prepare for Darian coming over. Some parts of my Lacey plans were written in a few notebooks I kept. Needless to say, I wouldn’t want anyone to find out about them - let alone Darian.

All of a sudden, I got a notification from my phone’s Discord app. I was still logged into my Archie J. account there. Expanding the notification revealed a message from none other than Lacey fucking Hannah.

Lacey Hannah (08/12/23, 7:19 PM): Hey Archie

Sorry if this sounds rude, but I just want to follow up on something. It’s been a few days since you promised to help with that mediocre draft I got from Oscar. I haven’t heard anything from you since then.

Are you still planning to work on it or not? Because I can finish it myself or send as-is with my current edits. I could also trash it in a worst-case scenario. I understand life can get busy. You doing okay?

Thanks in advance. :D

Ugh, I thought, that smiley face emoticon.

It probably wasn’t a good idea to leave her with no explanation as to if there was even progress on the draft or not. Beyond being dickish, this sort of neglect would just look bad on me instead of her. So I did send her an update.

Archer J (08/12/23, 7:23 PM): Hi Lacey.

Don’t worry about me, I’ve just been a bit overloaded at work for the past few days. It’s the weekend now so I should be fine.

Yes, I’ll finish touching up the draft soon. I think it’ll be ready by tomorrow. 

I apologize for the slow progress, by the way. Good luck!

Time to commit to the draft now, I sighed. At least I get to hang out with Darian first.

Just as I logged out of Discord, there was a knock on the door. I looked through the peephole. It was Darian. I opened the door.

“Hey James!” Darian grinned, flustered.

“Hello,” I greeted him. “What’s up?”

“Doing fine,” Darian told me. “The self-checkout machines at the supermarket finally got fixed. Great for me, since I don’t have to deal with as many angry customers. And you?”

I went to get some water. 

“Yeah, I’m…good,” I responded. 

“Are you sure?” Darian doubted.

I couldn’t let him doubt me.

“Of course!” I forced a full smile. Boy, was I not used to smiling like that.

“If you say so,” said Darian. “It’s been a while since we’ve actually talked.”

“Sorry about that,” I answered. “Work’s just been really busy. But hey, gotta make money for university tuition fees.”

I took a sip from my cup.

“So relatable!” Darian exclaimed. 

Is it? I wondered. He only goes to SCSU. Not the Ivy League financial hell of Yale.

“I’ve missed you,” Darian stated. “It’s been forever since we last met!”

“Relax,” I nervously chuckled. “It’s only been less than two weeks.”

“Alright,” Darian lowered his voice. “Did you get accepted into Music Refined’s ranks?”

“Yeah-” I responded.

Darian smiled.

“That’s amazing!” he nearly hugged me. I backed off before he could.

“-as a beta reader,” I continued. “Not an official editor yet.”

“Still good,” Darian told me. “Anything else happening?”

I froze for a bit. There was no way I’d have been able to answer honestly. I spent too much time using Lacey, not to mention the sporadic yet continuing hate comments I got in private. So I just told Darian about the draft overload.

“Damn,” he said, “that must suck.”

“Eh,” I responded, “I’m getting used to it.”

For a brief moment, I felt a little guilty for lying. I ignored it.

(Wattpad version: https://www.wattpad.com/1487872328-lacey-chapter-9)

[elfmoon3]

A Shadowy Mist Chapter 16 (Transformers Animated story)

Pairings: Prowl x Oc and Bumblebee x Oc

Summary: The reason why LockDown gave the two ninjabots the tasers is finally going to be revealed.

Location: Downtown Detroit

LockDown was taking a drive until he saw three familiar vehicles on his tail pipe. "Looks like they got curious." He said to himself. He took a left and then a right, but he couldn't shake them, so he went to a private spot where he could talk to the three Autobots. He stopped and transformed into his robot mode with his servos up. "Ok, I give up." He said as Ratchet, Prowl, and Shadow Mist transformed into their robot mode. "If it's about the stasis tasers, you should know I only gave them to you cause I promise an old friend, ok?" He said, "Old friend?" Prowl asked. "Yeah." LockDown answered. "Was he a lowlife bounty hunter like you?" Shadow Mist asked. "Now why would you call your old master a lowlife?" LockDown jokingly asked. "What?" Shadow Mist asked, "Master Shade? You're lying! He would never be friends with a bounty hunter. Would he?" She questioned, "Look, you want me to explain it? Your master didn't just put his trust in me with those tasers for no reason. We've traded blows with every time we encountered each other. But then, one day, during our last battle before he went offline, he said something weird. Saying if he were to suddenly go offline, I give his stasis tasers to his best student. But when I went to his dojo, it was abandoned. So I kept them until I met you here on this planet." He explained. Shadow Mist couldn't believe it, but LockDown sounded pretty honest. "It was his final words to me." LockDown said, "Why didn't you just tell me from the beginning?" Shadow Mist asked , "Cause I didn't know how you'd take it. Listen, kid, you're better off having them. Couldn't get the fragging things to work anyway." LockDown said. "They must be low on energon." She said, "But, if Master Shade knew he was going to go offline, why didn't he prevent it?" She asked, "That part I don't know. But whatever his reason, he's now part of the Well of the All Spark." LockDown answered. "But he'd be glad to know that you now have them and not that short tempered classmate of yours." He said as he transformed into his vehicle mode, "And Prowl, you picked a very special femme to be by your side." He said, driving off. Now, with that mystery solved, the three Autobots transformed into vehicle mode and went back to the Hideout.

Back at the Hideout.

Meagan showed Bumblebee and PixelSpark a show called Curiosities. A TV show about weird antiques and strange objects with a bit of earth history and science behind them. "Imagine Sentinel Prime watching this, he'd gagged at the sight of a human spleen in a jar." Bumblebee said. Then Shadow Mist, Prowl, and Ratchet returned from their mission. "So how'd it go?" Bumblebee asked, but he saw that Shadow Mist looked sad. "LockDown didn't hurt anyone, did he?" He asked again. "No, I'm just confused about the information he gave me. Saying that he knew my master personally." She answered, "And the tasers?" Bumblebee asked, Prowl explained to his speedy friend about what happened. Bumblebee couldn't believe it, Shadow Mist's former master was friends with the Bounty Hunter. "Oh my primus, I'm sorry you had to hear that, Shadow." He said, "It's fine, as long as he completed my master's final request." She said sadly. Meagan looked at her. "Aw, I'm sorry, well hey, how about you watch TV with us. It might help you take your mind off of what happened." She suggested. "I guess so." She said, walking towards the couch, "What is this show about?" She asked, "It's called Curiosities. It's about a store in Detroit that sells weird and bizarre stuff." She said as she pressed play on the remote. After a few minutes in the show, Shadow Mist got interested. "Humans are so interesting." She said and then noticed a big skull on display in the store on TV. "What's that?" She asked, "That's an elephant skull. Also called a cyclops skull, in ancient Greek culture, they believed that one eye giants existed with humans." She said, Bumblebee chuckled, "Kinda looks like Lugnut." He said laughing. "Maybe we should check this store out?" PixelSpark asked. "Meagan did say it's in this city." She added, "Sure thing, and who knows, maybe Shadow Mist could find something she likes." Bumblebee said. Shadow Mist smirked, "Knowing me, you'd be right." She said, 'And remember my dear veiwer..." The host on the TV spoke in a spooky tone. "...as my ancestor Edgar Allen Poe would say, there is no beauty without some strangeness." He said

To be continued...

[storytimewithnova]

Tree on the hill angst 1/3

Yaku was out with his boyfriend kuroo he went to visit his twin sister grave know one knows about her not even his bf because the memories are still traumatising for him As they went to the grave Kuroo asked a question that will shock and upset yaku but he feels its time his boyfriend learns the truth

Yaku was out with his boyfriend kuroo he went to visit his twin sister grave know one knows about her not even his bf because the memories are still traumatising for him As they went to the grave Kuroo asked

Kuroo:Who's Shona?

Yaku:You're not the first to ask me that I was meant to protect her and should have told you but but I thought if I did You'd never want to be with me If you knew what a failure I really am Ask Taichi my older brother, he knows

Kuroo:was she like your first love or something

Yaku:just listen 🎶There's a tree on the hill, up on Tokyo hill That watches over us silent and still And no one at school is safe until We can see the tree on the hill🎶 

Kuroo:oh that tree i have heard it been called the gardian tree

Yaku:🗣correct but it also garuds something anyway This was way before I met you Coach sent me to escort three student back to training camp we were holding Two were runaways One was Akaashi The other was bokuto And the third was Shona 

Kuroo:wait bro and akaashi but what do they have to do with this

Yaku:Tough girl like her twin brother which is me   

Kuroo: I thought you only older brother 

Yaku:I do now We'd almost made it back to training camp but I got nervous And we got lost and by the time we found the hill Someone else found us

Kuroo:WHAT?!

Yaku was in tears but he carried on with the story knowing he owed his boyfriend that much

 Yaku:🎶And there on the hill, up on Tokyo hill A cold wind blew dark and chill Though nothing would slay its wrath or will We had to make a stand🎶

Kuroo:so you stood up for you sister that's good 

Yaku made a sad face

Yaku:🎶And maybe if I'd been a little bit braver Maybe if I stayed behind to fight🎶

Kuroo:wait are you telling me you ran 

Yaku nodded

Yaku:🎶But maybe doesn't let me go back and save her Maybe doesn't make it alright🎶

Kuroo:love it was nothing more than a tragic accident

Yaku:shona saved us saved me  We only survived because she stayed to hold off the gun men 

Kuroo:GUN MEN!!

Yaku:She paid for her sacrifice with her life Thats when our big brother showed up

Kuroo:And saved her, right?

Yaku was almost breaking down at this point 

Yaku:It was too late for that As she died in his arms  underneath a gaint  Sakusa tree

The tree on the hill angst part 2 flashback

hey hey hey before we start 1) I will not be using the full song 2)the lyrics will be changed 3) the song is lost from percy Jackson warnings⚠️ Yakuza and death   the setup/Backstory is This will take place in the close friends GC a vid will be sent This will be a flashback and seen through Yaku’s eyes Akaashi and bokuto will be there and it will bring back memories for them Memories they didn’t want to remember remember how she got shot remember how she lay dying in Taichi's arms Remember how they fucked up and failed her They will go offline

Chapter Text

THE BESTIE GC WAS AS ACTIVE AS EVER WITH THEM PLANNING THEIR NEXT HANGOUT 

WHEN SUDDENLY SILENCE FELL WHEN A VIDEO WAS SENT BUT AN UNKNOWN PERSON

THEY CLICKED IT AND SEE WHAT LOOKED LIKE A FLASHBACK

Yaku:🗣Guys, we just exploded a bus!

Sho:Yep

Akaashi:–that was being attacked by possable hit men

Bokuto:Oh yeah

Yaku:Is the whole trip going to be like this?

Bokuhina:I hope so!

Back in the chat

Kawa:Who's the girl

Bokuto: .....

Akaashi: .....

Yaku: ......

Kuroo:Mori you don't have to anwser go offline 

yaku offline

back in the video 

Sho:🎶Dad is sending his Hitmen after us We're doing something right🎶

Yaku:How can you say that so calm Imōto  

Sho:who the fuck says i am calm Mori I am freaking out on the inside i have to be clam for Kei and Ko

While the video was playing Bokuto went offline so did akaashi

Bokuto:Baby Owl 🎶All our food was in there All our clothes were in there All our food was in there!🎶

Sho:🎶luv Sit tight🎶

while watching this bokuto was crying akaashi is was right by him didn't know what to do because he felt the same way

Akaashi:🎶Look, I made an itinerary for any Eventuality that may come our way It's right here in my pocket🎶

yaku looks at his pocket in a questioning manner and said 

Yaku:🎶um It's where in your pocket?🎶

as akaashi and bokuto remember more their mood did not improve

Semi:akaashi you and bokuto are silent are you guys okay

Akaashi:....

back in the video

Yaku:🗣so where is it 

Akaashi:🗣 Oops. It got busted in the blast

Sho:so what do we do now babe 

Yaku:🗣 Imōto calm down we will figure some thing can you remember what did it say?

Akaashi:🎶 run away and take that bus To camp 🎶

Sho:🗣We're not on the bus to camp 

Bokuto:We blew up the bus to camp

Akaashi:I know!

Yaku:So what are we supposed to do?

Sho:Wait for another bus?

Yaku:Imōto What if we blow up that one too?

All 4:🎶We're lost in the woods Somewhere in Tokyo And we're never gonna make it to camp We're lost-🎶

Akaashi:And it's cold

Bokuto:And it won't stop raining

Yaku:Let's just go

Bokuto:No, not that way

Sho:No backup plan

Bokuto:No food

Akaashi:No phone 

All 4:🎶No adult supervision We're lost in the woods And we'll never leave Tokyo If none of us are making a decision!🎶

Yaku:🎶It's not safe to stay out here in the open When dad's Hitmen are hoping to take us alive or dead🎶

Sho:Onii chan🎶 How do they know where we are When we don't even know? How are we gonna survive🎶

An idea just hit Keiji

Akaashi:🗣 our phones

Bokuto:our phones🤨

Akaashi:🎶Ko, like listen, please the yakuza have put tackers on our phones so they know where we are 🎶

Sho:dad's what? 

Akaashi:🗣tacking us our loaction as we speak i mean it's just a theory 

Bokuto:🗣and if you are correct hopefully there's away to scramble it right?

Yaku:🗣Fantastic gang, well I don't wanna die in the middle of nowhere 

All 4:🎶We're lost in the woods Somewhere in Tokyo And we're never gonna make it to Camp We're lost and it's dark And I think that something's moving! And I think it's coming this way🎶

Sho:Is it a hitman?

At this point they are near the hill from the first story yaku went to look if it was a hitman and sure enough it was

Yaku:SCATTER Imōto with me 

They ran to the hill even through yaku yelled scatter akaashi and bokuto wanted to be with their girlfriend and followed the siblings the hitman gave chase They were the top of the hill with no chance of escape so sho said the the three boys

Sho: run get out of here Don't even try and aruge with me now run 

They suddenly heard a shot ring out yaku ran back taichi was far he was coming back from the store to the camp when he heard the shot and ran to the where the noise came from

Kawanishi:IMŌTO NOOOO!!!!

he dropped the bags and ran to his sister 

Sho:sayonara Onii chan she said as he life force drained away

The video suddenly ends Oikawa felt bad for the question it felt rude now after seeing that 

Ysku:i was a coward 

Bokuto: i left baby owl 😥

Akaashi: i wasn't strong enough to protect her I'm sorry blossom please forgive me forgive us

The chat was silent and the silence was deafening and they went offline not knowing what to say or do they felt bad and upset 

The tree on the hill angst end

as the GC slowly was prossing the events that just happened the gc seem somewhat more lively that it should they are all on line apart from the 3 an unknown person sent a video it looked like a flashback

IN THE BESTIES GC they see taichi with Sho in his arms say Sanyora the scene changes and the see Taichi spiraling into a deep depression and and he took his own life

back in the chat

Kuroo:oh love why you went through all this

Kawa:this is horrable @unknown how much more do we have to witness

unknown summoned

Unknown:can't anwser sorry you have to see this

yaku has started a live

unknown: oh thats my cue to leave

unknown left

Kenma:are they going to sing or something

Atsu:why are they at that hill 

Kuroo:oh you don't know the full story

Kuroo explains everything (he tells them everything from first story Everyone went silent because now the last video they saw and this one makes more sense to them 

Thry go back to the live video

they can see and here everything they hear music and singing

🎶It doesn't hurt me Do you wanna feel how it feels? Do you wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me🎶

The camera zooms into the 3

IN THE GC

Everyone: DEAL?!

Back to the live and they can see and hear the three running and singing

Yaku:🎶And if I only could I'd make a deal with God🎶

Akaashi:🎶And I'd get him to swap our places Be running up that road🎶

They get to the top at sho's grave

Yaku:Imōto i would swap places with you in a heartbeat you didn’t deserve this none of this

Bokuto:🎶Be running up that hill Be running up that building Say, if I only could, ooh🎶

Akaashi:🎶 You don't wanna hurt me But see how deep the bullet lies🎶

When akaashi sang that line he started to tear up at how hard that hit home because the bullet sho took went to her heart she always said she would take a bullet for them but they never thought she was serious

Bokuto:🎶Unaware I'm tearing you asunder Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts🎶

Yaku:🎶Is there so much hate for the ones we love?🎶

Yaku is talking about his dad and how much he has him for what he has done and the greif he has coursed

Yaku:🎶Oh, tell me, we both matter, don't we? You, it's you and me It's you and me won't be unhappy🎶

Here yaku is taking about both his siblings how they matter the you and me he is referring to is him and his siblings

Bokuakayaku:🎶And if I only could I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places Be running up that road Be running up that hill Be running up that building Say, if I only could, ooh You It's you and me It's you and me won't be unhappy🎶

Bokuto:🎶Oh, come on, baby🎶

Akaashi:🎶Oh, come on, darling🎶

Bokuaka:🎶Let me steal this moment from you now Oh, come on, angel. Oh, come on, come on, darling Let's exchange the experience, ooh🎶

Yaku:🎶And if I only could I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places🎶

Akaashi:🎶I'd be running up that road Be running up that hill With no problems🎶

Bokuto:🎶Say, if I only could I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places Be running up that road Be running up that hill With no problems🎶

Yaku:🎶 So if I only could And make a deal with God I'd get him to swap our places I'd be running up that road Be running up that hill With no problems🎶

Bokuakayaku:🎶So if I only could Be running up that hill With no problems If I only could, be running up that hill If I only could, be running up that hill🎶

Yaku:Imōto I'm sorry I failed you but i kept my promise to visit you i am here with Keiji and Kōtarō i hope Onii chan is taking good care of you up there

In the distance Taichi and Sho's spirit watch their brother as well as sho watching her bfs

Sho in ghostly whisper

Sho:BE HAPPY FOR ME ONII CHAN Keiji Bo AND I LOVE YOU ALL 3 OF YOU

Taichi:Let's go sis 

They slowly faded away in to the light 

The three boys will have a long healing process but with the people they love and who love them they won't be alone

End

[queenofapeacefuldawn]

tbf i think these kinds of thoughts began occurring to me since last year.

tw: mentions of suicide

in eighth grade, i'd had a classmate, who i didn't know was depressed. i think nobody in our class knew, and, i remember, during the dance recital, he and his friends were sitting next to me and my friend group, and we were jokingly taking pictures of each other, and i showed him the middle finger. i didn't mean anything by it. then, on that saturday, a family member of mine died. we'd kinda expected it, he'd been in the hospital for some time, and was suffering. that saturday morning, we went to his funeral. that saturday evening, we were panicking over assignments due on monday. the next day (sunday) was a sort of music-memorial (it's a custom in hindu funerals, i think) for the family member, and we went out to dinner. during dinner, my friend texted me, "hey, you know [classmate] died? at least, that's what (somebody) told me"

i had genuinely thought she'd meant he'd figuratively died of, like, all the homework, or he'd gone offline and "died", so i said, "eh, probably."

the next day, on monday, an announcement happened: our classmate had died, and it was an accident. he'd fallen off the balcony in his building, and had died.

but it wasn't an accident. on the day he'd died, some twenty minutes before his body had been found, he'd sent a text on the class group chat, sending a picture of the balcony, saying, "i'm gonna commit suicide", and, "tell my mom i loved her". my friend and desk-mate at the time had thought it was a joke (we frequently made jokes about killing ourselves, so it was commonplace), and she said, "oh, good luck." she was devastated, and told the teachers about the texts, which was subsequently deleted. someone had taken screenshots, tho. and, by the second period, everybody was saying what had really happened. the teachers had tried to convince us it was an accident even after that, but... didn't work. the counselor talked to our class, said how we should "learn to notice the signs" or something like that.

i was a bit disoriented, bc a family member of mine had died, as had a classmate of mine: both within, like 12-14 hours of each other. i was upset that my last words to him hadn't been anything nice. i was upset that i hadn't noticed he was struggling, even though we spoke often. i went and cried to my sister, who'd been in the class opposite of mine, and she and her friend got special permission to go out of class and take care of me. and.... that was that. after, like, two periods of mourning allowed, we were expected to do bio after that.

but everyone in our class was way more sensitive to jokes about suicide after that, and every time his roll number was brought up, an awkward silence would follow (it was too late in the year for his name to be struck from the rolls).

a couple months after that, we'd had to make a poster for anti-bullying in art class. another guy i knew (we were nemeses), saw my poster (i'd written something about how bullying can drive people to suicide), and he says, "i wish that were me. [points to the suicide thing]." at the time, i'd tried to laugh it off, but when i'd reached home after school, i'd told my parents, and my mom called our teacher. it ended up with the both of us being called to the office, and explaining our stories. after that, he threatened me, saying "if i'm not allowed to go on the school trip because of this, then i swear, you're gonna have to watch yourself".

ig it was then these thoughts began manifesting themselves???? i hadn't noticed somebody in pain, and was afraid that it was gonna happen to somebody else, and then i got threatened because of that. he was super upset, and hated me after that, even though i kept maintaining my stance that i'd done the right thing, sometimes i wonder. that was when it all went downhill.

weird question, but would you all mourn me if i died?