#and well now literally all of it is piss easy for me now and whenever I have new ideas adding them isnt too hard usually

[wetblanket7]

art student!touya headcanons bc why not can you tell that i love artsy people? ᯓᡣ𐭩

tw: smoking and getting high, touya is a loser but we all already know that

──── ᡣ𐭩 ─────────────────

touya had no idea what to do with himself after high school. he chose studying art, because it seemed to be easy lmao he also really wanted to piss of endeavor

after college he wants to be a tattoo artist (who’s surprised?)

touya who’s working at your local record store and always trying to start a conversation with you about the albums you buy. in his head, he has a whole ass plan to make you swoon but, in reality, all he manages to do is asking you, if you like this band and recommending you some new music he thinks you might like

you giggle everytime he stumbles over his words and thank him, assuring you’ll check out his recommendations. and oh boyy he’s whipped. he even started thinking, that maybe you are trying to seduce him

he literally doesn’t know the difference between being simply friendly and flirting. he’s delusional, he’s stupid

(he rejected so many people, that were hitting on him, because he thought they were just being nice to him. but with you, oh that’s a different story)

you and touya met through keigo, who was done with listening touya talk about his pretty customer. you’ll probably never forget his face, when he realized his best friend is also friends with his crush

after that you two started talking more. he’s still so painfully awkward, because this man has no idea, how to talk with you

bold over text, super awkward in person. that’s it

before keigo introduced you to him, touya only annoyed takami with his constant monologue about you. but now? everyone falls his victim. his roommate? shigaraki got too many warnings about way too high volume on his headphones and he still can hear touya’s yapping. his family? shouto and natsuo start throwing at touya every object, that just happens to be near them, whenever your name leaves their big brothers lips. fuyumi just asks him when he’s gonna ask you out and he shuts up as fast as he opened his mouth. and his coworkers? spinner daily fights the urge to get high before work but he doesn’t want to get fired, so he’s forced to keep up with touya sober. the only person that enjoys his yapping is toga, which isn’t very surprising, really. she forces touya to listen to her talk about ochako in exchange tho

and don’t even get me started on his drawings. his sketchbook is filled with you. every. single. page. he doodles you every time he gets ahold of something, that can write

“todoroki, for the love of god, could you stop drawing your girlfriend on my desk?” keigo showed you that doodle. at some point he also told you about touya’s crush on you. he’ll complain about touya’s constantly running mouth, but he’s a noisy bitch as well. a match made in hell

you often bump into touya at random parties keigo or rumi take you to. and everytime, that happens you two decide to leave your friends and go on a side quest. later you need to explain to your friends, why they can’t find you anywhere at the party. you should’ve informed them beforehand but in touya’s presence it’s easy to forget about the surrounding you world

especially, when he finally gets comfortable with you. there’s so many topics he wants to discuss with you, he literally can’t shut his mouth. you might never get a chance to kiss him

takes you with him whenever he goes making graffiti. cmon he would do that

touya secretly wishes you would model for him. but he will never admit to that

deep late night talks, while sharing a cig or blunt? god please. all you have to do is text him, that you found this new spot with a cool view and he’s already under your window

he invites you over to listen to the new cd he bought. he collects cds argue with the wall. he’ll be also very offended if you don’t invite him over to listen to the album you bought

don’t worry he’ll get over it quickly, he’ll be very petty about it tho

at first, when you asked him if you could see his art he refused. he’s shy yk. especially, considering the fact, that most of his sketches are of you. touya eventually showed you his art, when you told him about that doodle on keigos desk. he ghosted you for hours after that, because he thought you’ll make fun of him </33

has like 5 different playlists made for you. all consisting different music genres and for different occasions. one is full of songs you recommended him. other is filled with songs, that remind him of you. you guys also share a playlist, which is a mix of your favorite songs and is a total chaos

touya doesn’t have a license nor his own car (duh), so when he asks you if you’re up for a ride it means that you’re going to drive and he’ll just sit there, looking pretty and play music

getting high with touya is… interesting. he gets really clingy and all philosophical. so many what if questions. rumi has a couple of videos of your conversation from the times you two got high at your place. she says she’s going to play them at your wedding

“hear me out on beetlejuice” high off his ass touya, after you came up with an genius idea of watching beetlejuice

touya keeps complaining about you spending more time at the store and distracting him but we all know he doesn’t mind. maybe expect those moments, when you talk shit about him with toga and spinner

you also have a bet, if those two teenagers, that keep having dates at the store will end up together. you think, that the blonde boy has a chance, while touya well… he says that the girl’s to cool for this guy

if you two can’t meet, he’ll just call instead. probably, on some ungodly hour, because his sleeping schedule is nonexistent. will insist on not hanging up, when you want to go to sleep. he promises, that he’ll end up the call, since he’s going to stay up a little bit longer. and he always forgets about that. one time, you got woken up by rei, trying to get touya out of bed

he definitely had planned the first kiss. the thing is — he never had a chance to use his plan. mostly because he was waiting for the perfect moment. you were the one, who kissed him. during one of your many late night rides, while you were sitting in your car in some empty parking lot. he was taking about something, you can’t remember what it was, his eyes shining as he was explaining, streetlamps light falling on his face and making him look even prettier then usual. if it was even possible, because it’s touya we’re talking about, the pretty boy cmon. you almost felt bad about interrupting him. but he didn’t seem to mind, when he practically crushed you between him and your cars door

after that he thanked you, like he didn’t took your breath away a second ago

so many handmade gifts !!!

art museum dates. holding hands, talking about your favorite artists and pieces, standing in front of the artwork and discussing its meaning, touya explaining you different techniques. either that or pointing at the weirdest medieval animals and saying “you”

i said that once and i’ll say it again. he’s your trained photographer

he’ll also gladly turn into your editor

will touch you on purpose if his hands are dirty from painting. annoying bastard

definitely will become your human canvas if you’ll get bored and want to draw on him. touya will try his best not to wash it down during shower. he might even skip shower, who knows

obviously, touya has piercings and tattoos because it’s touya

and yes, he lets you color his tattoos, duh

──── ᡣ𐭩 ─────────────────

no way i finally wrote sth (nobody gives a shit girl)

im working on sth a little bigger i promise

yes i sneaked a little togachako here can you blame me?

and yes thats jirou and denki, they have record store dates

projecting as always im trying to manifest a bf thru this silly posts

or a crush at least

btw touya and keigo definitely made out at some point im just sayin

[chisatowo]

Eternal gratitude towards little me for drawing funky shaped creatures for its entire time drawing, I may not be able to make color pallets Im happy with very easily but I sure can go what if I made a bunch of salmonid ocs despite the fact that I've never drawn fish before and I can just do it

[angelsforthenight]

MRS. AND MRS. SMITH — abby anderson x fem!reader

ways you can help gaza 🇵🇸

do not buy tlou2 remastered!

a/n: this is way more inspired by the mr and mrs smith series (2024) not the 2005 one!!! this explains why they’re wives :3

you’re an assassin along with your assigned partner/wife, abby anderson. fed up with her toxic behaviour, you’re pleased when the mission is centred around you seducing a man for murderous motives. why? well, because you know it’ll get under abby’s skin. little did you know, things would blow over way more than you thought it would.

cw: mdni, owen feature🤮����, long fic, kinda slow-burn ig?, femme fatale, arranged marriage couple, kinda toxic relationship, violence, mention of blades, car sex, mean!abby, bratty!reader, dom!abby, degrading, bdsm, ass-smacking, finger-fucking, cursing, jealous!abby, hair pulling, dry-humping, finger-sucking, choking, rough sex, teasing, squirting.

“short brown hair, rugged beard. got that?” abby’s murmuring voice comes in from the earpiece you’ve got attached. you groan and roll your eyes, wishing you could mute the goddamn thing.

see, any other day, you would’ve loved to hear your wife’s pretty little voice guiding you — her praises when you’d do something right or her degrades if you’d do something wrong both sending shivers down your spine, compelling you to do whatever she wanted.

but not today. today you’re over it. so what do you respond with?

“yeah, i know, anderson. we both got the fucking brief.” you hiss. you know how pissed abby gets whenever you curse at her; so that’s exactly what you do. you relish at the thought of her gritting her teeth, not being able to snap at you in front of all of these people.

that’s right, you two are at a charity gala event. it’s fancy. too fancy to the point where it’s intimidating: glistening chandeliers, artistic decorations and bustling people wearing glamorous attire. you and abby needed to blend in with the crowd so not only are you two dressed smartly for the occasion but are also split up. not that you’re complaining. you’re sick of her. sick of her petulance whenever you’d get glorified by the agency instead of her, sick of how sometimes she can be so simple-minded, sick of how, at points, she lacks at making you feel loved.

your job is to take out an owen moore, for unforeseen reasons. you never question what the agency tells you to do, neither does abby.

you’re planning to lure him in an concealed area with your enticing charisma, make him believe you’re going to sleep with him before slicing him dead with your blade. you prowl through the many people, scanning the area with a keen eye to find him. claude debussy plays as background music, taming your harrowing nerves. killing is never easy.

“found him yet?” abby sighs.

“please don’t distract me.” there’s way too many people and it’s beginning to stress you out. what if you never find him? failing the mission is the last thing you wanna do.

“i’m getting bored. plus, small talk with strangers pisses me off.” she complains.

“not my goddamn problem.” you retort, the ends of your tight-fitting dress flailing against your legs as you pick up the pace, worrying if there’s not enough time, worrying if he’s even here in the first place.

“literally what is your problem? acting extra fuckin’ snobby tonight...”

your eyebrows knit together. abby always finds a way to get under your skin.

“let’s not fucking start—“ you’re about to snap and make yourself look like a fool in front of all of these people until somebody accidentally bumps into you: spilling his drink all over your dress. great!

“oh shit. sorry, i didn’t mean that.” you hear a man’s voice as you stare down at your ruined dress in disbelief. you slowly glance up at the culprit; only to find the noted brown hair and rugged beard staring right back at you. owen moore.

despite your worked up embarrassment and your extreme annoyance, you manage to flash a smile.

“it’s okay, but... you do realise you owe me now right?” you bat your eyelashes, hoping you don’t look silly.

“and what’s that?” owen chuckles, rubbing the back of his head and making immense eye contact. he’s already flirting back, you think. this is about to be so fucking easy.

with a few drinks, owen’s already tipsy and you’re leading him to the vast room. you make him believe you’re just as woozy; stumbling and giggling away. you take advantage of his obliviousness: your hand brushing against the slit of your dress, fingers cupping the wooden handle of the blade in the garter wrapped around your thigh. whilst he laughs and babbles nonsense, you carefully trace the edge of the blade — feelings of excitement rushing to the surface. regardless of the fact that killing is never easy, it’s also never not exhilarating.

you’re about to fully whip out the blade until owen decides to be bold: setting his slobbery hands against the small of your back and trying to lean in for a kiss.

“woah.” you feign a grin, pulling his hands away. “we go at my pace.”

“aww… please?” he mumbles, trying to seem like an adorable puppy but instead making it look disgusting. this is sad, you think. you try to grab your knife again but he’s now grabbing your arms; desperate for a fruitless smooch.

“come on… don’t play hard to get.” he growls, his sudden aggression catching you a little off guard. no need for stress, you know what to do. your knee prepares itself to kick hard in between his legs until somebody’s arm suddenly emerges from behind, wrapping around his neck and squeezing hard.

“what—“ you breathe in bewilderment, eyes widening. despite owen choking and uselessly clawing at abby’s arm for escape, her gaze stays intently trained on yours; a death stare. it’s unnerving.

it doesn’t take long for owen to turn cold and slack, eyes rolling to the back of his head. abby lets him go, but not without cracking his neck first, and you watch as he flops onto the floor.

“what the fuck, abby…” you mutter, palming a frustrated hand across your face. “where the hell did you even come from?”

“there’s doors.” she tilts her head towards the backdoor behind her. you hadn’t even noticed it. your eyes travel back to her; irresistibly ogling at the black suit clinging to her body, complimenting her form. you almost forget you’re supposed to be mad at her.

the blonde chuckles wryly, a petty exhale. “you starin’? assumed pussy boys were more your type.”

“real fucking mature.” you snarl. “i had him. i was this close to killing him, abby.”

“you were taking too long.” abby shrugs, condescendingly pouting. you grit your teeth.

“jealousy? really? grow up.”

“at least i watch where i’m going. nice dress, the wet splotch is a nice touch, really.” she slanders, narrowing her eyes. you scoff, trying to pretend as if that dig didn’t offend you.

“you’re a fucking child. help me with the body.”

you two leave the building with ease, pretending as if owen is a friend that’s had too much to drink, wrapping his arms around the both of your shoulders and leading him to your car. abby opens the boot and you two push him inside. you two will decide on how deal with the body later.

for now, you’re sat on the passenger’s seat whilst abby drives, the two of you salty and quiet. abby’s driving way too fast; her hand gripping the steering wheel like her life depends on it. she’s obviously fuming.

“can you slow down?” you glare at her.

“you owe me… i mean, who even says that?” abby grumbles, ignoring your request.

“a lot of people do. now slow down, we don’t wanna attract attention from police knowing there’s a dead body back there.”

“not to mention that you’ve had an attitude since last night! the way you were flirting with that oliver guy? or whatever the fuck his name was, had to be on purpose. to spite me.”

abby starts driving even faster, increasing your stress. “owen.” you correct, “you’re so self absorbed!” you continue to beg for her to slow down.

“he’s, like, the embodiment of revolting too. don’t even get me started at the way he was trying to force himself on you. i should’ve put a bullet in his brain.” abby rattles on, pure jealousy oozing from her tone.

“you were definitely enjoying it too. i know you were.” she turns her head to look at you, not paying attention to the road.

“abby. abby!” you scream as abby almost runs through a poor family trying to cross the road.

“fuck.” abby murmurs as she swerves messily, just in the nick of time, steering into a deserted field. the two of you are out of breath from the fright, hearts racing from the adrenaline. abby rests her head on the wheel, letting out a long sigh.

“just what the hell is the matter with you?” you scold, “all this shit over a mission? are you serious?” abby’s lack of response leads you to continue yelling at her.

“of course we’re going to have to flirt with our targets now and then! the fuck happened to your professionalism? if i had known you’d be acting like this then i would’ve never—“

“why didn’t you kiss him?” abby raises her head to look up at you, her face blank. you blink, a little taken aback by the unexpected question.

“i…” you look away. you’re not exactly up for abby knowing that you couldn’t kiss him because of her. “where even are we anyway?”

“nice try. since you’re so professional, why didn’t you kiss him? he clearly wanted to. you could’ve easily killed him then.” the corner of abby’s lips arch up into a smirk — the familiar smug look of hers that never fails to get you weak.

“for someone who’s had so much to say just a second ago…” she leans in a little, arm resting against your headrest, “…you’re awfully quiet.” her voice is hushed down to a soft whisper, and you swear you’re beginning to feel a little lightheaded.

“look, abby, you’re my wife… so…” you mumble in response to her pressing question, avoiding eye contact. abby chuckles, loosening her tie. here comes the floodgates.

“don’t play dumb and pretend as if the agency didn’t arrange that.” her finger presses against the dome light of the car; illuminating your embarrassed face. just what she wanted to see.

“you’ve been enjoying yourself, seeing me all jealous like this. you liked playing femme fatale, hmm?” her finger slowly twists itself around a strand of your hair, before she yanks a handful, forcing your head closer. you wince, eyes clenched shut. your cunt decides to flex too — reminding you that she’s got a mind of her own, and that she finds being in an empty field like this, in abby’s car, pretty fucking hot.

“let’s face it…” abby whispers, so close that you can feel her breath tickling your ear, shooting heavy tingles down your body.

“you want me so bad it hurts.” her eyes drift down to your thighs that are starting to shift uncomfortably in your seat. it’s beginning to ache down there and it seems like abby’s aware of that. you can’t help it. after all, abby sitting so close: loose strands of hair framing her face, unfastened tie and darkened eyes fixed on you, feels so good that it’s suffocating.

you squirm a little and abby grins, her fingers still laced in your hair. her grip slightly tightens as she licks her lips. she looks hungry.

“maybe what hurts is your fingers in my hair.” you quip, though your voice is a little shaky.

“maybe you need to fix your attitude.” abby retorts, “like, seriously, pipe down… you’re probably soaking down there.” she snickers, right on the money.

“fuck you.” you glare at her, gauging her reaction. you want to believe you’re saying this out of sheer anger for what went down tonight, but deep down, you know that’s not the case. in reality, you just want to get under abby’s skin. it’s what you’ve been craving since the beginning; to get her pissed.

you wipe the pleased look off of abby’s face, which is now replaced with a frown. your heart pounds with anticipation: so much so that your chest faintly heaves, lips parted.

abby’s eyes wander to your lips and in one swift movement, she pulls you in; pressing her lips against yours. you’re quick to kiss her back, the sweetness of her mouth sealing yours. fervent can’t even begin to explain the way you two are kissing. akin to wild animals, small muffled groans escape the both of you.

desperation is thick in the confined air of the car, as abby pulls away and shrugs her blazer off. you stare up at her.

“hurry… with your slow-ass.” you whine.

“watch your fucking mouth. c’mere.” abby commands. you naturally do as she says and she begins to unzip your dress — not without making sure to go deliberately slow.

“why do you have to be so mean?” you sigh, burying your face in the crook of her neck.

“oh, trust me… i’m only gonna be meaner.” she warns whilst planting gentle kisses on your neck. you’ve always admired abby for her ability to vary from being sour to tender in seconds. little did you know, the peppered kisses on your neck served as a prior apology to how cruel she’s going to treat you in a second.

once everything is off, abby marvels at your body. like a painting in an art gallery, she makes sure to pay attention to even the minuscule details of your body. it’s her favourite thing in the entire world.

“turn around.” abby mutters, her eyes hazy; voice bleeding with lust.

“what?”

“just do it.”

you hesitantly do as she says. abby beams: finding your weak resistance amusing yet is also excited to break you.

“now… bend over.” she coos, clearly poking fun.

you shoot her a glare, cheeks flushed. “what am i, your dog?”

“don’t piss me off.”

you glare at her for a few seconds longer before sighing, reluctantly bending over.

“arching that back and everything… wooow.” abby teases, “and to think i haven’t even touched you yet.”

“oh, just fuck off, abby…” you complain, the embarrassment beginning to overwhelm you.

“what was that?”

“i said fuck—“ but you’re cut off by a yelp when abby brings her palm down flat against your ass. you flinch violently; very, very taken off guard.

“mm? didn’t quite hear you. repeat yourself.” abby taunts, smacking you again. you grunt and flinch yet again, feeling the sting of her slap coarse through your body. abby’s humiliating you, milking every last drop of your embarrassment. the worst thing yet? you’re enjoying this way more than you should be.

“i’m not kidding. speak.” abby commands, showing no signs of mercy. your skin is already starting to gleam red, and your pussy? well, it’s a fucking party down there.

“abby…” you cry, completely under her control. the more she smacks, flesh recoiling under her palm, the more your head goes blank.

“go on babe… finish what you were saying before.” abby prods. this time, when she smacks you, her fingers grasp the flesh on your ass tightly; watching in delight as her fingertips leave little red marks. you’re trembling like a leaf, both from the pain and the arousal.

see, the thing with abby is that she never likes to let things go. she adores jabbing at you until she gets what she wants.

another smack, this one so hard that you need to press your palms against the window. abby then grips your waist and pulls you way closer; making your ass press against her hips.

“you wanna get fucked?” abby mutters, teasingly bringing your waist back and forth against her hips: hard, playful thrusts. your bare cunt pressing against her crotch is, without a doubt, driving you insane. you frantically nod in response to her question, in which abby replies with latching her hand around your neck; forcing you upright so that your back is now against her chest.

“use your words.”

“y-yes…” tears begin to stream down your face. you’re desperate, yearning for her touch as if it’s a life or death situation.

“so finish what you were saying.” her fingers slightly squeeze around the sides of your neck.

“i-i told you to f-fuck off but i d-didn’t… haa… mean it.” you splutter. the you a while ago would’ve had her mouth agape in horror at your behaviour right now.

“see? that wasn’t so hard, was it?” abby coos, her fingers tracing down your stomach, in between your thighs. long, drawn-out circles are traced on your swollen clit, her fingers pressing just the right amount of pressure. you groan, and abby taps her chin against your shoulder; smirking at how your legs are writhing, desperate for more.

“where’d all your attitude go?” the blonde ridicules. her other hand moves over to your breast, squeezing it, her thumb caressing your nipple. as to the hand working on you, her middle and ring finger brush against your folds; up and down. she’s touching you but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough: abby knows that.

“don’t do this to me, abby…” you exasperate. she lets out a breathy chuckle before flipping you over and setting you down onto the car seat. she reclines it back, eyes yet again fixed on you. you stare up at her with big glossy eyes, your head blank as if you’ve been dumbed down.

abby gloats at how helpless you look, grabbing your face with one hand and squishing your cheeks. “you look stupid.”

“shut up and fuck me.” you mutter in a muffled tone. abby laughs as if what you’ve said was the funniest joke in the entire world. you wonder if abby can feel your cheeks burning up against her palm.

before you know it, abby plows her thick fingers so far inside your cunt that you’d squeal, if it wasn’t for abby’s hand still clenched on your cheeks.

“this what you wanted?” abby purrs, fingers curling up against your g-spot already. you moan, back arching and squirming.

“oh! riiiiight, you can’t speak.” she gloats, playfully shaking your head with her hand. you whine in embarrassment, yet you secretly enjoy how she’s handling you like a doll.

abby’s finger-fucking you rough, wet squelch noises filling up the car. the sound of it is so erotic that it leaves you dizzy, eyes rolling to the back of your head. the blonde releases her grip on your face but not her thumb, that slips inside of your mouth.

“suck.” you mindlessly do as she says, as if you’re brainwashed. you can see abby’s cheeks tint red when you slowly suck her thumb, making sure to keep eye contact.

abby chuckles, looking away. seems like she didn’t think you’d actually do it.

“you’re shy.” you point out. you triumph over the fact that now it’s her turn to be embarrassed, but not for long.

“shut the fuck up.” abby says brusquely, her fingers operating way harder than before; relentlessly pounding against your g-spot. you cry, feeling overwhelmingly good.

that rigid attitude you had a moment ago? now dead and buried. you feel surreal, a series of mewls and sobs leaving your lips.

“nothing smart to say anymore? you look fucking pathetic.” and she’s right. you look like a hot mess. abby smothers your tears all over your face. you mindlessly move your hips, fucking yourself on her fingers. she smirks, loving what she’s seeing. you feel a knot beginning to untie in your stomach, sublime throbs coursing all over your body.

“i’m cumming…” you manage to choke out.

“i know.” abby buries her face in the crook of your neck, and you shiver at the feel of her breath against your skin.

“i’ll decide to be nice and let you finish.”

and that’s your cue. with an ending moan to seal it off, you feel your body tense up, eyes widening. abby leans in and presses her forehead against yours. you squeeze your eyes shut, before your body relaxes. you’re panting like a dog, staring up at abby with foggy and depleted eyes.

“so cute…” she murmurs before cupping your chin and kissing you — this time, soft and tender as opposed to the way she was kissing you before. you feel warm.

so absorbed in each other, you two forget about how you’re in the middle of nowhere and how the body in the car boot needs to be dealt with. for now, you two have something more important to worry about: how you’re gonna clean up the mess you’ve left all over the chair and dashboard.

a/n: you made it !!! thought it’d be funny if the target was owen😭😭 hope u enjoyed reading <3

[hangup119]

don't get the deal | h. taesan (TEASER)

being the shoulder to cry on is no easy task - especially not for han taesan, who has lived almost half of his life painfully smitten over someone he is confident would never, ever think of wanting him as more than just a friend. he wonders if he will ever get out of this so-called "friend zone," or maybe he just doesn't get the deal at all.

pairing. han taesan x fem. reader

genres + warnings. friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, one-sided pining, eventual happy ending, slight angst + profanity, taesan is bad at feelings, reader is even worse

playlist. don't get the deal by beabadoobee; but i like you by boy next door; somethin' stupid by frank sinatra; about a girl by nirvana; disasterology by pierce the veil; if i'm james dean, you're audrey hepburn by sleeping with sirens

expected word count. 7k-10k words | teaser word count. 1.3k words

author's note. hey goisss... ive had this in the drafts for so so long but for some reason i started working on it again and im nearing the end so hopefully this will be out very soon !!! dont quote me on that tho live laugh love user hangup119's work ethic <3 ALSO btw this teaser is like a flashback kinda thing but the real story actually takes place in their college days

@onedoornet | reblogs appreciated!

IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL WHEN YOU RUINED TAESAN'S LIFE FOREVER.

To be more specific, it was during your last year of high school when he realized that there was simply no way he was ever going to win you over. Not now, and certainly not ever.

Because here’s the thing: Taesan was not a bad-looking guy, he’s far from it, actually. In fact, he had enough business cards from agency recruiters that could fit a whole shoe box, so his looks clearly were never the problem here. Was it his personality, then? Probably not that, either. He was pretty chill most of the time, and he had never really acted up around anyone unless it truly called for it. He always made sure that he wasn’t making a fool out of himself around you, and there were never really incidents that could have painted him in a bad light in your eyes. He had decent grades, so he wasn’t stupid either, which was one of your major turn-offs. And he was sporty—he participated in the school’s soccer team, and he even had a bunch of fans giggling over him whenever he so much as passed them by while chasing after the ball, so his popularity was pretty decent too.

Was he simply not… your type? But that couldn’t be—you were always making heart eyes at Park Sunghoon who was two grades above, and he was told all the time that he was basically a lookalike of the guy! Not to mention you were always at Jung Sungchan’s games, cheering his name even when the guy was literally being benched. Taesan never got benched. He was the star player of his soccer team. You fawned over Park Wonbin when he performed at the school’s talent show, but Taesan could also sing and play the electric guitar just as well. You squealed over Lee Sohee because he was sooo cute! but Taesan knew how to get real fucking adorable, too! He practically had all of their qualities combined into one, and not once did you ever look back at him. 

And that’s when it hit him. 

It was prom that night, and he was off at the corner drinking from a cup of water instead of jumping along with the fray and bouncing up and down to some Drake song when his friend, Kim Leehan, approached him. 

“I’m not slow-dancing with you, Leehan,” he muttered, taking another sip of his bland water. “Piss off.”

Leehan raised his arms in response, smiling in a way that was just so Leehan-like of him. “Woah, woah, I get it. Someone pissed in your cup, or something? Literally and figuratively,” he laughed, leaning against the wall next to him. “Lighten up for once, ‘san. It’s your first and last prom, you know?” 

Taesan only grunted in return. 

“Look at you; so emo tonight,” Leehan said, defeated. He followed the other’s gaze towards the dance floor, where everyone is packed together like a can of sardines. “But you’re always so normal around Y/N.” 

Taesan paused.

Leehan laughed again. “Hm, maybe not?” 

Sometimes, it was both a blessing and a curse to be friends with someone like Kim Leehan. 

“Stop talking about things you already know,” Taesan murmured, chucking the water cup into the trash can a few meters away. He placed his hands inside his pockets, looking straight ahead amidst the dizzying lights and the dispersed crowd now that a slow song started playing.

“Why don’t you go ask her for a dance?” Leehan suggested, signaling towards the dance floor. 

“She’s literally holding hands with Yang Jungwon right now,” Taesan deadpanned. “Are you kidding me? How’d she get him of all people as her prom date?” 

Scoring the smartest and the most popular student in your school has got to be the biggest flex of your high school career. Taesan had almost no complaints except for the fact that Yang Jungwon was your date instead of—him! Any moment now and he’d be losing his mind. Actually, scratch that, he probably already was. 

Leehan hummed. 

“Do you think,” he began, slowly, darting his line of sight between you who’s giggling at something Yang Jungwon said, before turning back to Taesan, the angstiest kid he’s ever known. “That, maybe, if you had just asked her out to prom with you… then maybe she’d have said yes?” 

Finally, the gears inside Taesan’s head started to turn. Leehan smiled at the sight.

Taesan quickly scoffed. “No way,” he denied, crossing his arms. “Why would she go with me when she’s got Yang Jungwon as her date? It’d only happen in my dreams.” 

He figured it out anyway. It wasn’t because he wasn’t as handsome as Park Sunghoon, or as sporty as Jung Sungchan, or as musically talented as Park Wonbin (though he’d beg to differ), or as cute as Lee Sohee. Heck, it wasn’t even because he wasn’t as smart or as popular as Yang Jungwon. 

Maybe it was never because of those things that made you look at them instead of him. 

Maybe you were just never interested in him at all. 

And Taesan will have no other choice but to live with that fact forever. 

Leehan’s smile dropped, and he peeled himself away from the wall. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped for a second just to say: “You’re so—stubborn.” 

Taesan looked at him indignantly. “...What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Leehan shrugged, finally walking away. “You tell me, dude.” 

And then he was gone, rushing off to join the rest of their friends while Taesan stayed in the back, alone and miserable all because of his newfound epiphany. Though he supposed he was already miserable the moment you entered the venue with Yang Jungwon right beside you. 

It was a time of new beginnings for Taesan; a time to finally move on from you. 

Though, if only it was that easy.

Two weeks later, when you were working on a final project with him, you unexpectedly dropped the news that you and Jungwon have broken up. Because Jungwon was going to some Ivy League, and you were decidedly… not. You couldn’t handle the thought of being long-distance, so you decided to just cut things off with him since it can’t be helped, you know? And then you proceeded to laugh it off with that huge, idiotic smile of yours before continuing on with the project. Taesan didn’t know what was so funny.

Eventually, he had to share his water with you when you started sobbing hysterically inside of the library, hiccuping and all. 

He admittedly felt awful seeing you cry over Yang Jungwon, your high school boyfriend of probably only two months, but most importantly, he felt awful because of the relief that suddenly washed over him. 

…And what did that make Taesan?

So, really, maybe it was for the better that you would never look at Taesan the way he wished you would. That no matter how many times he has lent you an ear to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, you never bothered to stop for a moment and think that hey, maybe this guy likes me to some capacity, and maybe I should give him a chance. Because what kind of friend is he to feel relieved at the fact that you had gotten dumped by your boyfriend? That when your heart was broken, he could only rejoice at the fact that he now has a higher chance of getting with you once again even when it is so clear that he never once did? 

How could he sit next to you and think such thoughts? 

And yet, even when you keep jumping from one person to another, falling for someone, crying over another—Taesan will always be there for you when it all comes crashing down. A friend to cheer you on, to lift you up, to steady you—because that’s all he’ll ever be to you. 

Han Taesan was only seventeen years old when you ruined his life. 

And for what it is worth, he is still in love with you.

story by hangup119. do not steal.

[justporo]

Bedroom Hymns

A still empty new home somwhere in the Upper City of Baldur's Gate. Nothing but a big mattress on the floor of your bedroom where Astarion and you have spent some days already, mostly naked, just indulging in whatever you want - and each other of course, whenever the flames started blazing. This time a spark is ignited when Astarion sees how his old shirt looks on you, how well it suits you. (NSFW)

PART 2 | MASTERLIST | AO3

Author's Note: This is... just dirty smut. I have been thinking about writing this for literal months. But I'm happy I did because when Tav describes how she's become more confident? That's me just describing how I feel about writing smut. And yes, there will be a second part - with even more. Happy 2k followers, my dear horny gremlins!

Pairing: Astarion/Fem!Tav (You) Warnings: explicit sexual content, oral sex (female receiving), premature orgasm, light dom/sub dynamic (if you squint but really they're both just taking the piss out of each other) Wordcount: 4,5k ~~~

A lot of things in your life had gone wrong - more than you could possibly ever count. Sometimes you had even wondered how you had even survived this far. In the last couple of months you had asked yourself that question quite a lot actually.

But then some things had gone very right. Often without you even knowing what was in store for you beforehand.

As you laid on your side on a single thick plush mattress in a massive room with deep red silk tapestries on the wall and polished wooden floors, high ceilings adorned with a shimmering and glittering chandelier in your newly acquired home in Baldur’s Gate, you realised that this was one of those things that had gone terribly right.

But all this wasn't even the best. The best thing that had - quite frankly - ever happened to you was lying right next to you: almost completely naked, only partly covered by some blankets and sheets, just as you were, and at the moment lecturing you on the importance of a coherent design concerning furniture, decor and colours. Long, elegant fingers waved around, gesticulating while full, soft lips kept moving, often smiling - occasionally allowing sharp fangs to be seen beneath - and red eyes began to glow whenever their gaze fell on you.

A small lantern was bathing the large and tall room in some cosy orange light - barely reaching the far corners of the room. It was almost reminiscent of all the nights you had spent in camp with nothing but the moon, stars and a crackling campfire for light. The mattress though was easily an impressive upgrade from your tattered bedrolls despite it being the only piece of furnishing the two of you currently owned.

You had stopped paying attention a fair while ago while Astarion kept waving his arms around, looking from you - softly nodding in agreement without hearing the words - to the ceiling and around the empty room. His curls were delightfully messed up and unorderly, making him look even more handsome for how at ease he was. And the easy smile that didn't seem to leave his lips these days, took quite a lot of those torturous years right off his face.

Your heart fluttered every time he looked over at you, with his bright red eyes sparkling at you and his smile involuntarily growing even broader.

And you saw the rest too: how he elegantly gesticulated with those skilled hands, how the muscles in his arms and chest flexed as he couldn't be bothered to keep still for just a second, the room never silent as long as he was there. You had fallen into easy, natural companionship with each other - as if you’d known each other for centuries already.

What choices you had made to end up right here, right now, you didn’t know. But you surely wouldn’t have changed a thing if this was to be the glorious result.

“Wouldn't you agree, my heart?” Astarion asked you, halting his ongoing infodump. He was looking at you. And by the way one of his eyebrows was raised critically he must have noticed your lapse in attention.

But in your defence, the way his lower abdomen disappeared in the sheets he had carelessly wrapped around his hips - at a very low point - would have distracted just about anyone. The way the lines of his muscles defined his lower body. Especially those two converging lines, starting at his slender hips, then going lower, leading to his…

Astarion cleared his throat. You'd been distracted yet again. 

“Darling, you have all the time in the world for staring, you don't need to get it done all at once.”

“I like being a step or two ahead though, love.”

The vampire scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance. You saw how it made his muscles contract just a tad and you bit your lip unconsciously.

“I know, darling, you're so diligent. But my eyes are up here, my sweet,” he answered. You heard the vicious teasing in his tone.

You ripped your gaze from his delectable torso and let it wander to his equally delectable face. He was grinning wolfishly at you, one eyebrow twitching up playfully. And now you couldn't help but blush a little. He often had that effect on you.

Astarion simply liked being looked at, and you - well - liked looking at him. But in his defence, he was also very good at reversing the roles, making you flustered whenever he couldn’t tear his eyes from you in return as if undressing you and having you right then and there in his mind even when you were in public. With the way he stared at you now, eyes slowly becoming half-lidded, you also had a fair idea where his mind was going right now.

Your vampire slowly turned to lay on his side, propping up his head on his arm, mirroring your pose exactly. A few of his curls were falling into his face when he slowly leaned forward, his smile already telling you what he was about. Some rustling you heard made you aware that the sheets around his hips were moving when he did. Your eyes flicked downward.

A small involuntary gasp left your lips when you noticed that the fabric had slipped even lower, the man now even more precariously covered than before. Your thoughts immediately took a tumble and stopped being coherent.

Astarion clicked his tongue, his free hand grabbed your chin firmly and made you look at him once more: “Love, we really need to talk about the fact how you lose the ability to focus so quickly.” The wolfish grin was back and he even leaned in a little bit closer still, causing the sheets to slide down just a bit more. A desperate noise caught deep in your throat.

You coughed. 

“In my defence, Astarion, you’re almost completely naked”, you whispered as his smirking lips hovered over yours.

“So are you, darling, but you don’t see me losing focus, do you?” Astarion replied, his voice dropping low until it was merely more than a rumble. His crimson eyes took their time as they wandered over every single one of your elegant curves. His tongue darted out to wet his lips unconsciously while with his eyes he devoured your naked body outlining against the dark of the room with the help of warm lantern light sharply illuminating the details of your form.

You swallowed and felt some pressure forming between your legs. The kind you had felt relentlessly almost all the time since you had fallen onto this single piece of furnishing you had bought so far for your new home.

By now it must have been a couple of days of the two of you just hanging out barely clothed in your new almost empty bedroom - just the huge mattress on the floor. And once you had fallen onto it, you hadn’t seen any sense in getting up again. Everything you needed was right there with you.

You had talked even more in the last couple of days than you had ever before. You had taken each other whenever lust had overcome you. And you had just allowed the exhaustion of months and months of fights, adventures and not knowing if you would live to see another sunrise to slowly leave both your bodies. Just sinking into the soft bedding, knowing you could let yourself fall fully with each other around, relaxing and recovering.

Well, you almost didn’t leave the makeshift bed. Only when some carnal urges, that Astarion very unfortunately couldn’t fulfil all by himself, were reminding you that you were still just a mortal did you get up and snuck out of the room. Always coming back to Astarion dramatically claiming he'd barely survived without your attention when you fell back into his arms on return.

Unfortunately you felt some of those urges creeping up on you this very moment, as Astarion was leaning in, about to initiate what surely would become another mind bending tumble in the sheets. But this would have to wait - at least for a few moments now.

And also he could get his ego knocked down a bit for being all too cocky just a few moments ago.

When the vampire was about to close his eyes to kiss you, you rolled back. And with that movement grabbed the blanket that was covering you and threw it at Astarion’s expectant face. As you heard him hiss you slid off the mattress with a cackle and grabbed the first piece of clothing you saw before you quickly, with bare feet, ran to slip out of the bedroom. The vampire ripped the blanket off his face, got to his knees and tried to grab you before you could leave his den but you were just as quick as him.

You heard Astarion curse under his breath but you were already closing the door behind you. The last thing the vampire saw of you, was how you had pulled on his old shirt and how it didn’t fully cover your butt as you slipped out the door, leaving barely anything to his vivid imagination.

Astarion cursed you under his breath and remained kneeling there, a martyr forced to give up his everything (temporarily). At least the view could have been worse. Thinking about how you had looked in his shirt immediately sent a jolt between his legs, making his length throb with need for you as he sat there and mourned the temporary loss of his lover. Only his imaginative mind kept him company until you came back.

When you returned shortly after you had brought a bottle of wine and two chalices (only bought yesterday on a whim) to make up for your rash departure. You slowly opened the door with your bare foot since both your hands were full and found Astarion exactly as you left him.

He was kneeling on the mattress still, the sheets draped over his thighs almost artfully, only barely covering him now. His hands were placed palm up on his wide spread legs, almost as if he was in prayer. And fitting with this was his bowed head, eyes closed, his ruffled curls covering part of his beautiful face.

Ethereal was the only word you could think of at that moment. Astarion looked like the statue of a forgotten god with how he knelt there: every single detail crafted to perfection. The light of the lantern illuminated every line of his naked body, giving the illusion of being carved out of immaculate marble capturing every single one of his sharp lines that worked so well in contrast to your softer ones.

And for some reason it seemed this unreal looking being had chosen to come down from his place among all other divine powers to bow down at your feet. And more even: he had devoted himself to you, body and soul, for the rest of his immortal days to lavishly praise you with all he had to offer.

You gasped as you took him in. Almost not being able to believe how you had gotten so lucky.

The vampire’s head snapped up when he heard the soft, low sound. The illusion of a statue, forever held captive in stone in perfect but lifeless detail, was broken. But the actual thing was so much better anyways. Astarion’s crimson eyes glinted at you in the low light, his body flexed, stone becoming liquid, while you slowly closed the door behind you again.

The vampire eyed you, drinking in the view of you wearing his shirt now being allowed more than just a glimpse: the sleeves sliding down your arms and bunching up around the elbows, the way the fabric spanned over your hips and thighs.

But mostly the vampire was mesmerised by how your breasts outlined against this old shirt of his: part of them obscured by the ruffles, but especially their peaks - hardened by the cold air - were clearly visible to him and made Astarion lose his focus for once. Seeing you this way immediately made lust rise up within him way more than any fantasy could, causing his length between his legs to twitch and slowly harden.

Feeling the tension in the room shift remarkably, you slowly stepped closer to your makeshift bed again. You saw desire light up the vampire’s eyes as he kept gazing upon you. His lips had parted and his expression spoke of nothing but hunger for you as he couldn’t get enough of the view of you wearing his clothes.

Maybe he wasn’t so much a heavenly being that had descended to you but something out of the most fiercely burning part of the hells, ready to drag you down with him and never let you leave again. You swallowed and felt how the vampire’s heated gaze alone made you feel a little hazy.

Had you known it was this easy to turn the table on Astarion in his own little game, you would have done this much earlier. And oh, what irony that while you could barely form a coherent thought once the vampire was naked before you, for him it was you putting on his old, almost threadbare camp shirt that seemingly made the pale elf forget everything else but how good it looked on you. And what it meant to him: that you were his.

The intensity on his face as he kept staring at you without moving was almost predator like and made you rub your thighs together in a desperate attempt to control the beginning pulses between your legs. But the damage was already done. And as if emboldened by the vampire’s attention you felt your hardening nipples rub against the fabric of Astarion’s shirt, pronouncing them even more and making you overly aware of them.

“Come here, darling,” the pale elf asked of you, lazily stretching out an arm towards you. All you could do in response was helplessly wave the bottle of wine and the chalices around, because some pragmatic part in your brain was still working and telling you that your hands were still full.

Astarion frowned slightly at you, annoyed by the delay in you obeying his demand.

“Put it down and then come here,” he ordered in a brisker tone now, you saw his gaze darkening as he almost growled at you.

And of course you followed his demand. There was nothing more you wanted actually as you looked down upon your nearly naked lover before you - demanding you join him again in your bed.

Hastily, you placed down the bottle and the cups and then moved over to Astarion. He was stretching out his arms to you, motioning to you to come sit on his lap.

You didn’t hesitate, but you didn’t rush either now. You placed one on one of his thighs, causing the fabric of his shirt to ride up your thigh so much that you were sure that he must be able to see your swelling core from his position. Immediately one of his hands slid up your pointed foot and over your shin, around to your calf, squeezing the muscle lightly, before it went on to the sensitive underside of your bare thigh.

And of course his eyes were immediately drawn to you bared before him, almost hypnotised and making a grunt catch in his throat at the sight of what you had to offer him. His crimson gaze found yours, his brows drawn together. You stayed like this in a moment of perfect stillness as you kept looking at each other, knowing that you’d be doomed to be each other’s continuous downfall. Then Astarion bit his lips, one canine catching on his bottom lip, his gaze falling back to what lay beneath your legs.

This alone was getting you so worked up that you let your head roll back and allowed a small but desperate moan to leave your lips. Astarion laughed softly at that, his fingers digging into the soft flesh. You moaned again and enjoyed the content humming you earned in response to your openly shown pleasure.

Months ago you would have been way too hesitant to act like this - not directly ashamed but surely too shy to really express yourself, to fully indulge. But Astarion had surely made your confidence rise to unknown heights with the way he always praised you, how he hungered for you and always made it known how much he desired you. And with teaching and showing you what pleasures he could let you have if only you trusted him. And you had done that from the beginning, your belief in him stronger than better judgement.

So there you were, spreading yourself to your lover, while you could observe his cock beginning to twitch below the thin sheets. This with how the corners of his mouth curled up into an almost feral grin was more than enough proof that you’d been doing it right, that he’d taught you well.

It made you feel powerful, knowing how you could make him lust for you. And it heightened your own pleasure knowing how easily you could turn him on.

“Darling,” Astarion mumbled, the tip of his tongue running over his bottom lip as you saw him basically salivating at the sight of you becoming a drenched mess for him, “would you mind coming just a little bit closer?” His gaze flicked from your core to you and then back down. He was eager and insatiable.

“Say please?”

His gaze snapped to yours, eyes narrowed while you grinned, both of you remembering a specific moment months ago when you had teased him just like that. And just like back then he would make you regret it later.

He rolled his head around, loosened his shoulders with an annoyed, dramatic sight.

“Please”, he basically purred when his head came back around.

Oh sure, if he was nice like that, you would come closer. You gave him a pleased smile and withdrew your leg from his, making Astarion’s unwilling hand drop to his thigh while he criticised the loss with a disgruntled groan. But you moved quickly to make up for it.

You stepped on the mattress, already incredibly close to him and enjoyed how attentively he stared up at you, patiently awaiting you now. It was almost fooling you how obediently he had been so far, how he waited for you. But seeing the mischievous sparkle in his ruby eyes and his signature smirk play on his lips told you that he was only playing coy until he had you where he wanted you.

Still you drew out the moment, enjoying your moment of having the upper hand. You let one hand enter his already dishevelled hair and began caressing his scalp with slow circles of your fingertips.

“You’re such a good, patient boy today, Astarion,” you teased him sweetly as you watched his eyes roll back from your soft, sensual caress. One eyebrow twitched at your praise. You knew he liked being praised. But then his gaze snapped back and his hands shot around your legs and pulled you in close against him by grabbing your butt.

You yelped and almost lost balance. Your hands searched for hold on his naked shoulders and the vampire had you firmly in his grasp. His splayed fingers squeezing your buttcheeks, half-covered by the shirt. He pressed his face between your legs. His long, straight nose almost already reached the swelling, sensitive bud there.

A helpless whimper escaped you and Astarion lifted his face again.

“Not so feisty now, are we? Don’t make me become impatient with you, sweetheart,” he told you in a mocking tone, pursing his lips, enjoying the view of you above him and emphasising his point with a firm slap on your butt. You merely gasped in response. Your mind was still trying to catch up.

“Now, move!”, he commanded with another low growl and wasted no time by moving one of your thighs to lift up your leg and placing it on his shoulder. You were balancing on one leg now. But your vampire was holding you securely, both hands on your ass again and pulling you as close as possible.

The fabric had already bunched up over your spread thigh now but you saw the unspoken command in Astarion’s narrowed eyes as he positioned you on himself and you lifted the shirt higher with one hand while letting the other enter his hair again.

And then Astarion wasted no more precious time and pressed his face between your legs again - now with no more fabric getting in his way. The tip of his tongue immediately and effortlessly found your pulsating clit and began working on it while his hands squeezed your butt deliciously.

Without hesitation he pressed his open mouth to your heated core, sucking on it and his tongue circling over and around the sensitive peak there, sending a million little lightning jolts through your body that quickly became stronger, conjuring a thunderstorm.

You moaned loudly now, not being able to control any of it anymore. Your hand formed a fist in his hair, nails scratching his scalp, which he answered with a pleased growl and pressing his tongue even harder against your clit.

He drove you up that mountain so quickly and violently you began seeing stars already while he kept pleasuring you with his eager mouth. The way he sucked on you, let his tongue slide between your folds and inside of you, having you almost fully climb onto his face, and the way you felt even his fangs graze you ever so lightly at your most sensitive part made you quickly lose all control.

Somewhere in the back of your mind clouded with boundless lust you were thankful that he held you so firmly it hurt, because your legs were both shaking uncontrollably the longer and fiercer he kept going. With glazed over eyes you allowed yourself to look down and enjoy the view of your lover devouring you as if he had been only put on this plane of existence to please you in this way. It amplified the pressure you felt building up in your lower body tenfold.

You neared the edge at breakneck speed. And your body was desperate for release, knowing the orgasm would be vicious. But there was something else you wanted. Instinctively you knew that he himself must be aching. You didn’t need to see his massive erection straining the sheets around his hips and the telltale wet spot at its peak to know that it was there - and to know that you wanted to feel him inside of you.

“Astarion,” you groaned breathlessly and used the rest of your control to pull on his hair. But you achieved nothing, merely making him almost purr from the exquisite pain you inflicted by pulling on his hair. He slapped your ass again. So hard you knew it would leave his handprint on your delicate skin this time. That and the sting from it made you bite your lip to barely stifle another desperate moan.

And then the last of your ability to form a simple coherent thought crumbled, the sheer, primal lust inside you taking over when Astarion changed the pace to some slow, hard movements with the tip of his tongue directly over your swollen clit. You gave in to it.

It was inevitable anyway. Only a few more flicks of the vampire’s skilled tongue and you were falling, your cunt throbbing violently despite nothing to clench around. 

Your hand was tugging hard on Astarion’s hair again, making him growl. Your face was contorted in overpowering pleasure as the stars you had seen before blew up to a whole firmament and made you lose your vision for a moment from how bright everything had become. Breathless, almost soundless noises left your wide open mouth as you scattered into a million pieces. And only Astarion’s firm arms around you made sure they would all stick together again once you would come down from your own galaxy again.

The vampire kept going for a few more swipes, pushing you just a tad further before it became fully unbearable and then withdrew to enjoy the fruits of his labour, your wetness coating his lips and chin. He absent-mindedly lapped it up as well as possible while he kept watching you writhe from the ecstasy he had provided you with.

When you had come back down enough from the high again to feel your own body, you slowly let your head fall forward again. Your legs felt weak and wobbly just as the rest of your body. You looked at your eager lover, who was licking up some of you from his lips still. Astarion looked mightily pleased with himself.

“That’s what you get for making me impatient, love,” he simply said and grinned haughtily, cocking his head as if he hadn’t just given you one of the most violent orgasms you had ever experienced - and hadn’t even allowed you to lay down for it.

He softly eased your leg off his shoulder but held you securely still to make sure you didn’t topple over. You softly tugged on his curls now and kept looking at him while still trying to catch your breath. The vampire placed soft kisses down the front of your shivering thighs after you had let the shirt drop again, his hands were carefully massaging your behind and the back of your thighs.

“Shame though,” you let out between gasps of air, “I would have loved to feel you inside of me.” You said it while you eyed his erect dick between his spread legs. The sight alone enough to get some pressure back up in your lower abdomen - despite your core still lazily throbbing from your last orgasm.

That made Astarion’s head snap back up again, his eyes sparkling at you as if asking how you still dared to talk back to him after what he had just made you experience. Then he closed his eyes and softly shook his head while his smirk turned wicked.

“Oh sweet darling,” he began and opened his eyes slowly to look at you from under his brows. His eyes were dark and the tip of his tongue darted out to lick over his lips focus wholly on you. The smirk grew even broader until you saw his fangs glint in the low lantern light.

His gaze was piercing, and his hands were once more squeezing your butt until it hurt pleasantly, plugging a whimper from you. You asked yourself if it had been clever to provoke a vampire who must be burning up with pleasure by now and aching for his own release judging by how you saw his erection twitch forcefully between his legs even with the fabric of the sheet covering it.

“What made you think I was even close to being done with you, my heart?”

PART 2

Taglist (DM if you want to be added please): @spacebarbarianweird @sunfire-ancunin @tragedybunny @dependsonthedream @tallymonster @magazzne @micropoe10 @aoirohi @my-bunny-prince @lumienyx @fayeriess @darlingxdragon @hereliesblackdragon @ayselluna @ajokeformur-ray @i-cant-get-into-my-other-account @rikuyrk06

[silvervioletvalentine]

🖤She calls the shots🖤

Pairing : Quinn Hughes x F1 driver Cherrie!

Word count : 15k

Summary : in which they’re both forced to spend their recovery time together after getting injured , in hopes of bringing two worlds together.

Or in which - Cherrie is pissed to be in America , forced to stay with a hockey player she’s never even met before. And Quinn , well, Quinn’s just well and completely fucked! Cause love at first sight (glare) is apparently very much real.

Warnings - fluff? Literally just Cherrie being a bossy bad bitch who makes sure that she always gets her own way , and Quinn just being gone for her and letting her get away with it all. Idek lemme know what you think and if you liked it, not my best work but not my worst either so..

Cherrie was certain that her face was quickly becoming the same shade colour as her name, feeling the heat boil beneath her skin as she looked over to her assistant/manager in disbelief .

Wondering if perhaps all the loud engines from the f1 cars had given her some type of hearing loss, or maybe she had mistook her vitamins for hallucinogenic drugs , because there was no way that Sarah was saying what she thought she was saying.

"Sorry?" She let out a loud laugh of denial , grinning far to widely to be genuine .

Sarah grimacing as soon as she saw the look on cherries face, wishing that it could have been anybody but herself to break the news to the violate driver who had never once in her life let a personal opinion of her own go unheard .

Cherrie's eye twitched "I don't think I heard you right." She laughed again, a little more hysterical this time around .

Rubbing at her sore back with her hand as she stood there leaning against her kitchen counter in disbelief .

"-Because you have just told me that I'm going to be spending the next two weeks with a hockey player , just for some attention." She repeated exactly what she had just been told, fake grin still pasted on tightly .

"You're joking right?" She said as she reached out to lightly pinch Sarah's shoulder "right? You're so funny sometimes Sarah."

Sarah swallowed , taking a small step away from the furious driver opposite her. Regretting not putting her foot down further and paying somebody else to break the news to cherrie. Having known that such a dramatic and unhappy reaction from her would occur.

I mean. What were the higher ups thinking? Cherrie was not known for being a friendly , sweet girl who would happily talk to anyone and everyone.

No. Cherrie was the driver that the other drivers shit themselves about whenever they even so much as nudged her car with their own, knowing that she would give them a bollocking about it as soon as she found them after the race.

She was loud, arrogant , sarcastic and unapproachable to anybody that she didn't like or know. So putting her, bad temper and careless big mouth , together with some poor injured hockey player for two weeks?

Sarah felt horribly sorry for the guy because it wasn't going to be easy.

Well, that was if she could get Cherrie there first. That was the first hurdle to jump over.

And so far, it wasn't going to well at all.

Sarah sighed tiredly "I'm not joking. They thought it would be a good idea to bring more attention and fans to the both of you and the sport. And with you both being injured and off for the season, they thought it's would be a perfect marketing

Opportunity to show that sport can be dangerous whether it's f1 cars or ice hockey .." she tried to explain logically to her , pursing her lips tightly together when her driver let out a loud, sharp laugh.

"Ha!" Cherrie snorted humourlessly , shaking her head in disbelief . "More fans? I - we- don't need more attention . We're bathing in it. F1 is up there with football now after all the Netflix shit stirring it up. We don't need more fans, we have plenty." She groaned, "I have plenty! Now the hell is this going to help me?" She scoffed pissed off "I don't need help! I'm a star." And there was that not so subtle arrogance that she was referencing to.

Sarah groaned too, fed up with her arguing back to her about something that she had no control over. She was just the delivery pigeon here , if she was in charge, she wouldn't be letting a cold and quite frankly mean, woman like Cherrie anywhere near a quite, reserved hockey player who had already gotten his nose bust open , Sarah didn't want Cherrie to give him another one.

"It's more for them. Hockey isn't as big as this sport, or any other for that matter . It's not raking in the views and their YouTube videos showing the players personalities barely get fifty to a hundred thousand views. They need this Cherrie. We need to keep that sport alive. Not just in America." She told her firmly , wanting her to see where they were coming from.

Cherrie just wasn't having it at all "then they need to invest in a better marketing team. Instead of having middle age white men who don't know how to market for the younger generation , they should do something about that." She countered back in annoyance . Wondering why it was her of all people that got dragged into this shit.

"Why do I have to do it? Driving a f1 car is so far from fucking ice hockey Sarah! Two complete different playing fields!" She exclaimed , getting more upset by the minute.

All she had wanted was to go back home to Madrid and recover in peace there. She didn't want to be jetting off to America to stay with some stranger that she had never even met before. A hockey player nonetheless!

Was this her karma for kicking the back of Max's knees out from underneath him after he had nearly knocked her off the track? He had went tumbling down like a sack of potatoes but still ...

Did she really deserve this? For one... her parents were going to be furious . Her father had already planned on her coming home again and now she was going to have to tell him that no, she was heading to America, injured and alone, to stay with a strange guy . Who the hell thought that this would be a good idea?!

Sarah was barely holding onto her patience with her, having spent a decade following her around and making sure that she did was she was told. She had kind of gotten used to cherries whining and snappiness , and her lack of filter and self control.

But everybody had their limits. And Sarah had just under two hours to get her driver on that plane to the states before both of them got into some serious trouble for Cherrie denying orders from the higher ups again.

Too much money was on the line for this , the nhl having paid their team a large share to make sure that they got the most popular and controversial driver to be the one to do it, knowing that Cherrie being in a video with their player would rake in the views immediately.

It was all business really. And Cherrie hated that.

"They've picked you because both you and the hockey player are injured and won't be playing this season. A perfect fit really. You can both bond over your injury's and film little bits of your recovery and how you spend your free time away. It'll be good." She nodded along as though she believed what she herself was saying. (She did not. She just prayed that Cherrie wouldn't kill the poor guy or make him cry for her own entertainment.)

Sarah had witnessed too many men crying over her Spanish driver for years now. She just wanted this to go well. And from what she had been told, the hockey player that Cherrie would be staying with was actually a really nice guy. Quite , a little awkward but genuine too. The complete opposite of her driver.

Sarah sighed in misery. Crossing her fingers behind her back tightly .

Cherrie couldn't believe it, laughing coldly. "fantastic! So I can't even be injured in fucking peace now!" She exclaimed utterly furious with it all.

"And America of all places?! Why couldn't you have made him travel to Madrid with me instead? Why do I have to be the one to leave?!" She questioned annoyed that her plans of relaxing and having a good time were ruined.

Sarah winced a little , knowing that she wouldn't like what she told her next. "He doesn't like flying and his nose is broken. So he doesn't want to travel -"

Cherrie barked out a laugh "oh he didn't want to travel?!" She spat sarcastically "oh okay. Whatever his highness wants then! Does he not like to walk either? Does he need me to curtsy when I meet him? Should I kiss his fucking feet?!" Her voice raised hysterically , immediately deciding that she hated the guy for making her life even more miserable than it already was right now.

Sarah frowned at her in worry "Cherrie please at least try to play nice with him!"'she ignored her mocking scoff and continued "you just need to film a couple videos together. Sort of like a day in the life. Like you did with Charles last year? You liked that didn't you?" She reminded her hopefully, not wanting her to upset the hockey player by arriving with a bad attitude and a negative outlook of the poor guy who had been roped into this just as much as she had.

Cherrie snorted "yeah because I know charles and I like the guy. I don't know this one ..what if he's a woman hitter?" She threw out randomly , just wanting to get out of this as soon as possible.

Sarah bit back her amused smile "he isn't. He's really nice. Loves women." She said lightly trying to cheer her up about the whole situation.

Cherrie rose a brow, not letting up. Stubborn to find something wrong with the guy so that she didn't have to go at all.

"So he's a playboy? Great." She scoffed "he'll want to fuck me then." She replied with a straight face, not giving up.

Sarah groaned on exasperation, knowing exactly what she was doing and not falling for it at all . "No! I didn't mean that. He's not a woman hitter and he's not a playboy. He's just a normal guy who's really good at hockey alright? He's injured and out for the season just like you. So be nice." She warned her firmly , knowing that no matter what she said Cherrie would be doing and saying whatever the hell she wanted anyways.

Cherrie shook her head and gritted her teeth together "a broken nose? If he even so much as sets a foot out of line with me.." she inhaled sharply as she stomped over to where her suitcases were still packed , grabbing one and rolling the other to Sarah to help her . Ignoring her triumphant look once she realised that she was giving in. "I will make sure that he can never play hockey or have children again."

Sarah just sighed as she rolled one of the suitcases out the door, pacing after the pouting driver in front of her with a amused smile on her face. Feeling sorry for poor Quinn who would have to put up with her for the next two weeks.

Quinn didn't really know what he was supposed to feel as he patted the deflated cushions on the pull out bed couch, grimacing at the terrible timing this was. Wiping away the anxious sweat that was gathering at his forhead with his hand, sighing loudly as he looked around his bland and barely furnished apartment self consciously .

The Cherrie Valentine was going to be stay with him for the next two weeks and he didn't even have a couch because Marley , his cat, had ripped the arms to shreds. He didn't have a coffee table because it had smashed into pieces after a intense game of wrestling with Jack after a few too many beers.

He thought about her luxurious lifestyle , her multiple, multi million dollar homes and sighed. There was really nothing that he could do now, she would be arriving any second at his door and he would be greeting her with a busted nose with white thin tape over it. A bit of a black eye too.

He looked like a mess and this was not the impression he had imagined himself giving Cherrie when he finally did meet her . Unable to believe that this was even happening to him at all.

He had watched her race for years, just like everyone else had . Had watched her get bigger and bigger till everyone knew her name, till everybody wanted a piece of her. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing her pretty face plastered all over magazines and posters . She was the IT girl, always had been and always would be . She never went out of style.

And maybe Quinn wouldn't have felt so close to shitting himself if they had told him that she was a nice, sweet and easygoing person to get along with. That he didn't have to worry about her liking him, because she was a social butterfly who loved everybody.

Only that wasn't the case. And Instead of being assured and his nerves put to rest , they had only heightened when he got a sympathetic phone call from her manager, Sarah, telling him to just stay calm and not to take anything she said or did personally . Warning him that she wasn't in the best of moods and that currently she was on a 'Im a bitch' tour , coming straight for him next.

Her reputation wasn't so sweet at all. Quinn didn't know what he was supposed to do or say. He hated meeting new people, hated having to get to know someone and figure out what you could and could not say around them.

The last thing he wanted to do was Piss Cherrie Valentine off. He , and the rest of the world, had watched her go head to head with max multiple times over their racing season. Had watched her March right up to the driver and start snapping at him, calling him every name in the book in both English and Spanish.

He had seen her punch overbearing reporters , slap another driver for talking shit about her behind her back. Throw her helmet at a driver who had taken her out of the race and shunted her straight into the wall. He had watched her collect her trophy then storm straight off the podium , refusing to celebrate with max who had won after impeding her on the track and not getting a penalty for it at all.

She was ruthless and very clearly didn't give a shit about what other people thought if her . She did whatever the hell she wanted, didn't spare any feelings or egos. She was intimidating as fuck and Quinn was already on edge , his brothers teasing not helping him in the slightest as he listened to Jack laugh at him over FaceTime at his nerves.

"I thought that you would be happier. You've liked her for ages. Now you're gonna have her living with you, isn't that the dream for you?" Jack wondered , confused by his fretting and pale face.

Quinn just scoffed at his naivety "no. Not really because her manager called me this morning to let me know that Cherrie is furious and doesn't even want to do this. She's going to kill me in my sleep or something, she's definitely going to blame me for this." He rambled on , hand on hip as he paced around the front room: watching the clock above his tv tick down.

Jack laughed , grinning at him like any annoying brother would. "Oh shit!" He was amused "then you'll just have to make her see that it was a good idea to stay with you then. Just woo her or something." He told him as though it was that simple.

Quinn looked at him like he was an idiot "woo her?" He repeated unamused "do you know who I'm dealing with here? You want me to woo the same woman that brutally rejected bad bunny on stage in front of thousands of people because he 'wasn't her type'?" He laughed in disbelief "if that guy isn't her type then I am definitely not! Jesus Christ Jack!" He snapped on edge.

His brother just hummed "oh yeah I forgot about that." He looked at him mischievously through the small screen "maybe she'll like awkward American with a busted nose and no social skills whatsoever. You might be lucky!" He joked , laughing hysterical. Finding himself hilarious.

Quinn did not. "Okay fuck you-" before he could call Jack anymore names, there was a loud knock to his door. He didn't even hesitate before ending the call on his brother , looking over at his door like there was a monster waiting to eat him behind it.

"Fuck." He breathed out running a nervous hand through his hair, straightening out his shirt the best that he could before slowly walking over to the door, taking in a deep breath to gather what little courage he had left to face her.

He swung open the door before he could chicken out , coming face to face with a annoyed , but still so beautiful driving scowling back at him.

Cherrie just frowned at him darkly "what took so long? Did they break your feet as well as your nose?" Was the first thing she said to him bluntly , moody and tired from the long flight there . Just wanting to eat and go to sleep, to wallow in her misery for a while.

Quinn's eyes widened as she roughly pushed past him, confidently striding onto his apartment like she owned the place. Leaving him to stare at where she had just been stood in shock for a moment before snapping out of it and quickly shutting the door , turning around to see Cherrie looking around with a unimpressed look on her face.

"Er-" his voice cracked so he quickly cleared his throat , racking his brain for something to say.

"Sorry. I was on the phone to my brother." He told her deciding to blame Jack instead of admitting that he was too scared to answer the door for a moment, that wasn't very cool guy of him at all.

Cherrie just sighed loudly as she put her suitcases by the door, slowly walking around the front room , trailing her fingers over the large shelving unit holding trophy's and pucks. Everything a winner needed .

She subtly peered to the side to see him just hovering behind his couch, cheeks pink and eyes flickering at everything but her. Tense and quite as could be.

She frowned "I'm Cherrie by the way." She mumbled just to be polite. Hating the silence that had fallen over them. It made her anxious. She was a shit talker, not a quite person. She needed to hear some type of noise otherwise she would go mad.

Quinn looked over at her quickly , startled at her suddenly speaking up. "Yeah I know-" his eyes widened in panic "I mean- that sounded creepy but I mean . Yeah. I know who you are-I-they-" he trailed off in embarrassed, giving up excusing himself before he could dig the hole any deeper.

He flushed a dark red, eyes darting back to his feet as she looked over at him in amusement . Biting back a grin at his awkwardness.

Huh. She thought curiously, so Sarah really wasn't kidding about him just being a normal, nice guy.

"And your name? I can't remember it." She wanted to know. Picking up a puck with curiosity having never seen one up close before .

Quinn almost face palmed in embarrassment"oh yeah. I'm Quinn Hughes. It's nice to meet you." He mumbled , hand at the back of his sweating neck as he watched her look through his things without any shame.

She showed him the puck in her hand, raising a brow "why keep these? You have a few. I don't keep my tires after each race." She said confused, wondering if it meant something in hockey world. She had no clue.

Motorsports were her passion , which was why she was so annoyed to be dumped off onto a hockey player that she had never even met before. It was just too much.

Quinn laughed a little at her bluntness , having also been warned about that and her little attitude. He watched her run her fingers through her hair before she smoothly pushed it over her shoulders , nose in the air as she put the puck back down, ready to move onto the next thing she could complain about.

"It's from my first game at Canucks. It's a special one so..I'm sure you took something from your first race in f1." He answered her quietly, leaning against the back of the couch as he watched her Approach his floor to ceiling windows slowly .

Cherrie just hummed, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked out of the windows to see nothing but other bland buildings and fog. No beach , no blue sky and beaming sun. No dancing in the street and no smell of beautiful Spanish food filling the air.

She could have cried. She missed home already.

"I took my teammate home with me. Kind of a tradition for me." She muttered straight faced, hearing Quinn choke on his breath in surprise at her crude bluntness.

Quinn was speechless , blinking several times before letting out a shocked "oh. Okay." Not knowing what else to say to that.

She just sighed even louder, more dramatically this time as she looked over her shoulder at him judgmentally . Annoyed, tried and hungry. Not a very good mix for a girl that already struggled not to say whatever was on her mind.

"You're an idiot." She blurted out , arms crossed over her chest as she narrowed her eyes at Quinn unhappily . Trailing her eyes down him, taking in his black jeans and oversized tshirt. Overgrown hair and stubble , before her eyes rested upon his healing nose . Still red and sore, little plaster strip over the bridge of it. The bags under his eyes were dark and bruised .

He looked like the kind of guys that would play a bad guy in the movies. Apathetic and bored with life, overly calm and unbothered by anything.

He couldn't have been any further from that image if he tried.

Quinn looked at her in shock , frowning at her insult. "What? Why?" He wanted to know , defensively crossing his arms over his chest just like she was. Copying her stance without even realising it.

She scoffed, gesturing around her unhappily . "You could have spent two weeks living like a richman in Madrid with me . Sun, sand and beautiful views.." she looked out of his window again, saw the clouds and the ugly apartments opposite and sighed.

"That's stupid. Why didn't you come to me?" She wasn't letting it go. Too annoyed to do so.

She wasn't going to let this be easy for him. Call it a punishment for refusing to leave and making it so that it was her who had to come to him instead.

Quinn just looked at her with a frown "I don't like flying . Especially with a broken nose. Plus- I haven't been to Madrid before. Never mind on my own.." he muttered matter of factly.

If possible, her scowl got even darker "and I've got a bad back from crashing! You think I like flying like this too? Unbelievable!" She scoffed upset , turning her back to him to look at his pullout couch instead.

Quinn rolled his eyes , getting annoyed by her negativity already. "You could have refused to come then-"

It was cherries turn to roll her eyes at him this time "no I couldn't have . I would have gotten fined for breaching my contract. And I'm not giving those bastards a single bit of my money!" She snapped , feeling her phone buzz on her pocket. No doubt her manager reminding her to play nice again.

She then looked at the cheap pullout couch and almost cried.

"No! No! No!" Her Spanish accent got more thicker the more upset she got. Leaving Quinn to look at her with his hand hovering over his mouth , talking deep breaths to keep himself calm.

"Where is your furniture? Why have you got a ratty bed for a couch? Where is the coffee table? What is that smell?!" She ranted off . Upset. Being the usual drama queen that she was. A bit of diva but weren't all drivers?

Shaking her head in Annoyance as she stomped over to her suitcase, plopping down on the hardwood floor as she unzipped it. Not caring a single bit that he could see all of her lace underwear and tiny dresses all stuffed inside of it.

Quinn looked down at her on the floor and tried not to laugh at how frazzled she was getting over something so superficial.

"Cat clawed the couch . Brother smashed the table. And what smell?" He answered her , confusedly sniffing the air and smelling nothing out of the ordinary.

He could only watch in silent disbelief as she then pulled out several candles from her suitcase , placing them all around the room without even glancing back at him. Pulling a lighter from her pocket, she lit them all quickly .

"It smells like boy in here! God!" She breathed in the vanilla and chocolate scent starting to waft off the candles and relaxed a little.

"That's better. I got them in Brazil. Smells nice huh?" She said to him over her shoulder , mood flipping for a second as she glanced around at all of her candles happily.

Quinn just looked at her in disbelief , speechless again. She hadn't even been there an hour and she was already taking over his apartment. He couldn't Believe it!

She then let out a long , dramatic sigh and told him matter of factly. "You'll drive me to the furniture store. We'll pick out a new couch and table." She picked up her purse and walked over to his frozen figure by the wall.

Grabbing him by his bicep without any hesitation, she pulled him along with her impatiently . "Maybe we get a rug too?" She pondered to herself , passing Quinn his car keys from the hook on the wall near the front door. Feeling more settled now that she was being bossy and in control again.

She always got her way, this time wasn't going to any different.

He just let her. Holding the keys in one hand while Cherrie dragged him by his other, Quinn blinking down at her hand that was now encasing his with her soft fingers in complete silence.

Feeling the heat quickly travelling up his neck and to his face as he cleared his throat awkwardly , heart racing in his chest at the sudden contact from her.

His stomach also fluttering at her bossing him around confidently , just expecting him to do what she said. He found himself trying not to grin , rolling his lip underneath his teeth as he tried not to laugh at her .

"She's a little overwhelming sometimes." Her manager had told him "no personal space and no sparing thoughts for others feelings. But she means well. She just comes across a bit ...bossy sometimes."

No shit. He thought in amusement . Letting her drag him out of his own apartment without any argument. It really wasn't worth the energy.

Plus she was gorgeous. And she was holding his hand. He wasn't going to pull away now.

"We have to get one right now?" He muttered , startled but mostly amused by her .

Cherrie just nodded her head, glancing over at him briefly as though he was the idiot. "Yes. I am not spending too weeks living like that. How do you feel about velvet?" She wanted to know. Already planning what to buy already. She wanted to make it feel a little like home , hoping that would help her mood out a bit.

Quinn just shrugged in confusion , admiring the sun beaming down on them as they stepped out of the apartment complex. Quinn taking the lead this time As he led her over to his car.

She sighed again "fuck me. I miss my Ferrari." She mumbled , upset again as she reluctantly slid into his car and buckled in. Watching him jog around after opening and closing the door for her, she hummed a little. Pleased that he was acting like somewhat of a gentleman towards her. The bare minimum . But still.

"We're only getting a couch and coffee table. Nothing too crazy alright?" He told her firmly , wanting to feel like he was still in charge. (He was not.)

Cherrie just leaned back into her seat with a small smirk on her lips, flicking on the radio and turning it up as soon as she heard a Taylor swift song come on. Letting out a pleased sound before she hummed along.

"Yeah. Sure." She promised nothing.

Six hours later and Quinn was left speechless, standing in the middle of his apartment with his hands on his hips as he looked around at the new green velvet couch , the marble heart shaped coffee table , the massive gold traditional rug , the fairy lights hung up in every corner , the fake ivy all over the ceiling . Then he looked over at a pleased , grinning Cherrie and let out a long, defeated sigh.

"This was way more than just a couch and table." He muttered , running a hand over his face in exasperation as he watched her throw herself down onto the ridiculously large velvet couch, picking up a expensive pillow with a picture of cats on it and hug it to her chest happily.

She picked up the remote and turned on the tv , getting herself comfortable in the couch. Already feeling much better.

"Pretty huh?" Was all she said with a grin as she peered over the couch at him, smug .

He looked at her, already dressed in teddy bear shorts and tank top set. Hair messy with dog slippers on her feet , smiling up at him hard enough that dimples shone through. He felt his shoulders sag as he exhaled shakily , looking away from her magnetic self.

Swallowing thickly as he blinked away the sight of her tanned legs and twinkling eyes , heart racing in his chest.

"Very pretty." Was all he mumbled before making an escape to the kitchen before she could catch him any further under her spell.

He pulled out a beer for himself and gulped it back, trying to remind himself how to breathe. But it was a little hard to do so when he had Cherrie Valentine on his couch , all smug and smirking at him in her pyjamas , looking like a dream after spending all of his money on new furniture and accessories for his apartment . Redecorating his place Despite only knowing him for less than a day.

And Quinn , he hadn't even thought to say no or deny her what she wanted. He could already hear the teasing he would be getting from his brothers and friends when they found out what a softy he had gone for her already.

"Wuinn?" She called out loudly to him, blanket pulled over her as she put on modern family for them to watch.

He inhaled deeply, skin tingling at the sound of her saying his name With her pretty mouth. It sounded so good coming from her.

"yeah?" He called back warily . Already pulling out another beer for himself.

"Can you make me a sandwich and get me a glass of ice water please?" She shouted through to him without hesitation. Already feeling comfortable now that she was getting what she wanted.

She breathed in her lovely candles, snuggled into his new velvet couch and sighed happily. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Quinn just chuckled quietly to himself as he began to pull out the stuff he would need to make her one, grinning down at the counter at her audacity.

"No!" He shouted back , more than amused as he pulled out the bread and made them some sandwiches. Grabbing some cookies to put on the side of the plate for her as well.

He could hear her giggle before she shouted back lightly "them pucks can be used as weapons Quinn!"

He laughed loudly this time, unable to stop himself as he got her ice water .

"I know! I've had plenty to the face to know that!" He said as he grabbed her plate and drink, alongside his beer in his hands as he walked back over to her.

Putting them on the new marble coffee table , he admired it a little.

"Quite a nice table." He admitted after a minute of contemplative silence .

Cherrie leaned up to grab her food, taking a bite , swallowing before casually telling him "I know. That's why I picked it. Plus if you get too hot you can just lay on it naked cause the marble stays cool all the time." Like it was no big deal.

Quinn looked at her and struggled not to imagine her lying naked on his marble table now.

He flushed darkly and quickly looked away , clearing his throat awkwardly .

"Yeah.. I think I'll just stick to putting plates and cups on it for now." He muttered amused.

Cherrie just nodded along, side eyeing him as she looked at his pretty face. Seeing little scars from past injuries , his nose all crooked and sore and wondered

"Really bad break this time huh?" She put down her plate and turned sideways to face him fully.

Quinn eyeing her warily, cheeks flushing red as she reached out and pinched his chin between her fingers tightly , titling his head towards her casually.

He could feel his heart trying to escape his chest, clenching his fingers around his beer bottle as he inhaled a little too sharply to pass as normal.

"Yeah. The doc said that I need to be careful otherwise fixing it won't be as easy. Too many times now I guess.." he mumbled sheepishly , self conscious about it.

He knew what he looked like. His nose was big, crooked in several places and he had heard all the rude and nasty comments about his appearance for years now. They had never bothered him before but with Cherrie looking at Him so closely , suddenly he cared and it make him feel uneasy.

"I've never been to a hockey game. Why do this to yourself? If they told me that every time I got into my car, I would be hit in the face with something . I wouldn't get in it." She said honestly . Letting go of his chin to grab her drink, missing the shaky exhale Quinn let out as she did so.

He laughed a little "cause it's fun." At her raised brow he quickly corrected "the playing part, not the getting injured part. But it's just apart of the game. Happens to everyone at some point." He told her truthfully while sipping from his beer.

She just nodded a little , shuffling off the couch as she yawned . "Alright. I'm gonna head to bed. Maybe I'll wake up and find myself in Madrid .

And this will all just be some sick, twisted dream." She said hopefully , Downing the rest of her water before stretching .

As she passed Quinn, she reached out and pulled at his hair childishly. Making him gasp as he slapped her hand away, rubbing at his head as he narrowed his eyes over at her.

"Hey!" He then reached over to pull at her own hair without a second thought , trying hard not to laugh when she gasped and kicked out at his leg. Scowling like a child at him, not expecting him to dish it back to her so quickly .

"Dickhead." She muttered , eyeing him for a moment before quickly reaching over to do it again then running away before he could even think about retailiiating.

Quinn just snorted as he leaned back against the couch, head hanging over the back of it as he watched her disappear down the corridor to her bedroom . Biting down on his bottom lip to hold back his grin.

"Spoilt brat." He chuckled to himself before pulling out his phone to let his brother know that no, she hasn't killed him. But yes, she was as intimidating as they made her out to be.

Two more weeks. He could manage that, couldn't he?

The next day was filming day, Quinn having been giving a camera and a list of questions that they needed to answer . Cherries manager letting him know that he needed to be the one to keep her in check and to not let her manipulate her way out of it this time.

Like she did with the last video, guys were a sucker for her and she knew it . So last time she didn't want to film, she had merely batted her eyelashes and flirted a little. Sarah had found her later in a completely different country, no video filmed at all.

So Quinn was ready for it when he delivered the news to a grumpy Cherrie that they needed to get this video done for them, the pout immediately settling over her face as she looked over at him.

"But Quinn.." she let out whiningly, having planned to head out around the town and find something to do. Maybe meet some new people and have some fun, alcohol included.

But that plan came crashing straight down as soon as Quinn levelled her with a firm shake of his head, letting her know that he was serious .

"No. Not buts. We've got to do this and then you can do whatever you want after." He told her seriously as he picked up the camera and fiddled with it, turning it on and making sure that he clicked the right settings.

He nodded over to the couch "wanna do it here or..?"

Cherrie frowned , scooping the last mouthful of cereal into her mouth. "I don't want to do it at all. It's stupid. Twenty questions are for childish dates when you're too scared to ask if they want to get out of there and fuck the night away." She grumbled, not a morning person at all. A little more extra blunt and pouty.

Quinn froze for a moment, eyes slowly lifting from the camera to look at her. His nose twitched, fighting back a laugh. Having a feeling that if he did, it would only annoy her more.

"Okay. But...it's a good way for people to get to know you. Isn't it? The fans will love it." He tried to encourage her, frowning a little as he watched her get up from the chair, wincing a little as she held the bottom of her back. Not moving for a second, she didn't look up at him, too busy taking deep breaths In and out.

Concerned, he spoke up quietly "your back? Have you took what you need to for it?" He put the camera down and walked over to his freezer, pulling out an ice pack for her. Something he always used after a game of being shoved around .

Cherrie hummed, looking up at him silently for a moment. Eyebrow raising once she noticed the ice pack in his hand.

He hesitated before nodding down to her back "er-might help right? It's a gel one so it's mouldable to you." He mumbled shyly , looking at her back instead of her intense gaze on him, feeling his cheeks heat up the longer she stared without saying anything.

Feeling a fuzzy feeling in her stomach, she cleared her throat a little. Turned her back to him before lifting up her tank top for him to see the part of her back that was flaring up.

"I already had a damaged nerve from a skiing accident when I was a teenager. Then that crash at silverstone just made it worse again. It keeps flaring up, that's kinda why I was so upset about coming here." She found herself telling him quietly .

Quinn hesitating for a second before moving closer to her , his hand shaking a little as he held her hip with one hand and then pressed the ice pack to the bottom of her spine with his other . Holding it there for her, his chin nearly brushing her shoulder as she relaxed into him without even realising it.

"I was going to get massages and water therapy. Swimming in a hot pool and then a cold one, it helps. There's this place back home I go to, that's what I was planning to do but then .." she trailed off , wondering why she was even telling him any of this.

Quinn finished it for her "then they made you fly here to live with me for two weeks." He understood why she was so upset now . "I'm sorry." He mumbled , feeling bad. Not wanting her to be in pain and especially not because of him.

Cherrie quickly waved him off "don't be. Not your fault, you were forced to do this as well. I'm sure the last thing you wanted was for me to be here in your home as well." She said , pulling all of her hair away from her back to rest it over her front instead.

Quinn tilted his head to himself, lips twitching at how oblivious she was. It may have been a shock to the system finding out that Cherrie would be staying with him, but it definitely wasn't an unwanted one.

I mean, she was Cherrie Valentine , he would be incredibly stupid to ever turn her away from his door.

He gently rubbed his hand up and down her back above the ice pack before speaking up "ya know, we could-there is a pool at the bottom of the complex. If we went really early there's usually no one in there." He quietly suggested to her, thinking about when the last time he swam was.

He thought of Cherrie in a swimsuit and flushed red, eyes sticking to his hand on her back that was now massaging soothing circles into her soft skin.

Cherrie looked over her shoulder at him with a surprised look on her face. "That could work:" she said , pleased.

"You'll come down with me? It's clean? Safe?" She asked him as she finally moved away, taking the ice pack from his hand and tucking it into the band of her shorts instead so that it rested against her back comfortably .

He chuckled and nodded his head, following her over to the couch. "Yeah. Promise. Probably not as good as yours back home but.." he simply shrugged , setting up the camera so that they would both be in the frame.

Sitting down, she grinned up at Quinn, mood lightening considerably now. "Obviously. I have two in my home in Madrid . Indoor and outdoor. I've got a sauna and ice room as well. I'll show you them, the Sauna is really good for you. Might make you feel better too. Help you relax ."

She rambled on , puffing up the pillow behind her back as she got comfortable. Not even realising what she was insinuating .

Quinn paused , looking over at her in surprise . Stomach fluttering "you want me to see your home in Madrid?" He blinked at her, stunned by how casually she said it too.

Now realising what she had said, she hummed , but surprisingly instead of backtracking , she simply nodded her head. "Yeah why not? It's only fair . Maybe you'll see my beautiful home and want a upgrade . The views are beautiful and so are the people." She told him with a small smirk, patting the seat next to her impatiently .

He laughed , Standing there for a second longer before sitting down. Shaking his head in amazement "maybe. Might help with the paleness." He joked pointing at his whiter than white face .

She just giggled "yes! We can tan together , it'll be fun. Now what are these questions?" She leaned over to look at the paper in his hands.

Quinn was quick to push her head away, tutting at her. "No peeking! I'm in charge . Okay.." he read the first question on the list and asked

"Who has more scars?"

Both Quinn and Cherrie looked at each other, Cherrie tilting her head a little as she looked him over.  Quinn doing the same.

"I think you because I can already see a few on your face and hairline. I have a few but not many, most from outside of racing." She said , pushing his hair back gently to look at a small scar above his brow from where he had taken a puck the the face a while ago.

Quinn swallowed at her casual touch , nodding his head slowly . "Yeah. I mean, you've got your helmet to keep you safe. I got like half a flimsy cage covering mine." He muttered smiling a little at her. Enjoying the feeling of her hands on him, of how easily and unashamedly she did so.

Cherrie just laughed and said "answer is Quinn! Okay next question!"

"Who has the lost Instagram followers?"

Quinn scoffed "that's easy. You. You have millions." He said, him being a follower of her too. Each post she made had at least two million likes on each one, it was insane . He would hate that kind of attention on him like that, just the thought made him uneasy.

Cherrie grinned smugly "I do. It's cause I'm hot shit and alright to look at." She quipped back, lifting her feet up into the table , stretching out.

Quinn shook his head in amusement , smirking a little. Eyes still down to the paper full of questions in his hand.

"Just alright?" He muttered amused, she was more than just alright.

Cherrie sighed dramatically "way more than alright but I was trying to be humble." She joked, leaning her head back against the couch while smiling at Him. In a strangely good mood.

Quinn laughed loudly "you? Humble?" He snorted, flicking her shoulder "yeah right." He grinned.

She's just rolled her eyes at him , leaning forward to grab a bottle of water from the table. "Shut up. At least I've got something to pretend to be humble about." She poked at him, trying to wind him up.

It worked. Quinn scoffing even as he took the bottle from her and opened the lid once he noticed her struggling with it, doing it without even saying a thing. Both of them too busy bickering to notice.

"Your looks won't last forever." He shot back , grinning. Enjoying their bickering far too much.

She smirked dirtily at him, mouth not even hesitating before she opened it and blurted out "but my pussy will."

Quinn's eyes went wide in shock as he laughed nervously , eyes darting over to the camera. "Okay! Moving on! Ok!" He spluttered out, blushing red as he ran a hand over his heated face. Flustered.

Cherrie just giggled and nudged his shoulder with his own. "You left it too wide open. It fit right in!"

Quinn struggled, he did, staring back at her with pursed lips, sighing in defeat as she wiggled her eyebrows at him, encouraging him to say it.

"That's what he said." He mumbled , both of them snickering like immature kids. Nudging into each other as she laughed loudly, head thrown back. Proud of herself for getting him to crack.

"You're so red.." she cackled, placing the back of her palm on his blushing cheek. Quinn just letting her, eyes on the ground as he smiled shyly.

"Shut up." He muttered in amusement before changing to the next question before she could drop anymore inappropriate jokes on him while on camera.

"Okay here's one...would you ever date a hockey player?" He frowned down at the paper "that's a setup right there." He chuckled, looking over at her curiously . "You don't even know any of them."

Cherrie pulled a face at him "yes I do!" She exclaimed , offended.

Quinn pulled a disbelieving face right back at her "alright then. Who?"

"Crosby." She smugly answered "and I know of Trevor because he's always hitting me up asking me out." She told him in amusement , having always just left him on read.

This was news to Quinn , he found himself scoffing with a frown.

"Seriously? What did you say?" He wanted to know. Planning to kick the back of trevors knees out from underneath him the next time he saw him.

Cherrie giggled "nothing. I left him on read. So there's your answer ." She shrugged with a smirk "a hard no."

Quinn side eyed her for a moment then "does that just apply to Trevor or..?" He muttered , amused and a little too hopeful .

She looked at him for a second , scanning his taped up nose and shy eyes then casually shrugged again.

"Maybe. Would you date a f1 driver?" She turned it back on him smugly.

Quinn paused at that "you're the only woman there..not much of a choice." He teased her, trying to push down the fluttering feeling in his chest.

She hasn't said no.

She just smacked his knee , rolling her eyes at him with a grin. "You don't need any other choice when I'm right  there. If I wasn't a driver I would be a professional pornstar baby!" She really har no filter today. Forgetting that she was on camera, enjoying joking around and telling dirty jokes with him too much to care.

This was why they never let her do press on her own usually , because she had a big, dirty mouth and couldn't shut up at all. But oh well.

Quinn gaped at her , his face bright red . "Okay! That's enough from you. Bigmouth!" He covered her giggling mouth with his hand, shaking his head in amusement.

Cherrie couldn't help herself "that's what they call me on my set." She mumbled against his palm before licking it, laughing loudly when Quinn flinched away in shock and pulled his hand away.

Quickly wiping his hand over her face while she giggled, pushing his hand away . "Stop it!"

"No you! You need to wash your mouth out with soap!" He grinned , biting down on his lip to stop the laughter from coming out . They were never gonna get the video done at this rate . He couldn't believe what a dirty mouth she had.

Cherrie just winked at him. Thinking that red was definitely his colour , it looked beautiful on his cheekbones and neck.

"Okay ..have you ever been in love?" Quinn asked her after they finally settled down and got serious again.

She didn't even need to think about it , shaking her head no. "No. Not yet. I don't even know how I would know if I did. What does love even consist of?" She wondered . Leaning a little into his side as she pondered it.

Quinn looked down at her quietly, admiring the little heart shaped freckle she had beneath her eye. He exhaled long and hard "I think- it's when you find someone you can joke around with . Someone that makes you feel comfortable and safe. Someone that you can act like a kid around again.." he quietly listed off, eyes never leaving her pretty face. Feeling the butterflies swarm his chest , fluttering their wings almost painfully against his ribs as his heart rattled.

"I think .." he hesitated before mumbling "I think it's someone that you can call a partner and your best friend." Seeing her wide eyes as she listened closely  to him, he let out a quick nervous laugh. "I mean that's what I've gathered. Ya know, from the movies and books. I don't even know what I'm saying.." ne tried to wave it off .

Cherrie just shook her head with a soft smile on her face. Her eyes lingering on his as she spoke just as quietly.

"I think you might be right."

The next night , overwhelmed with sudden feelings and a racing heart whenever Quinn was near her, she found herself at a bar making friends. Drinking away the weird thoughts and the strange feelings , she felt happier than ever as she stumbled back to his apartment, bursting through the door with her usual flare of drama.

"Hola! Did you miss me? Because I would miss me!" She called out in a sing song voice , kicking off her heels as she stumbled into the front room.

Quinn quickly standing up to catch her before she could face plant onto the floor, his brows furrowing in concern as he took in her drunken state. Eyes lingering on the smudged makeup and messy hair, the smallest dress he had ever seen in his life clinging to her body.

He had spent all night worrying about where she had gone to, only to realise now that apparently she had gone club and bar hopping, all on her own just to avoid him.

He frowned even harder "you're so drunk." He muttered as he helped her over to the breakfast table in the kitchen , rolling his eyes when she refused to sit down, leaning against it instead as she watched him pull out some crackers and cheese.

"I was hoping that if I -" she hiccuped "if I drank so much then none of this would be real. That poof! I would wake up to find out that it's just a nightmare!" She giggled , swaying a little on her feet.

Quinn didn't laugh with her, instead he focused on Putting the cheese onto the crackers for her , so she didn't feel sick when she woke up.

"Am I that bad of company?" He tried to joke but it fell flat. His feelings a little hurt that she chose running off to club all night just to escape him.

Even in her drunken state, she heard the hardness in his voice and paused. Squinting her eyes over at him "no. If I could I would carry you in my pocket to Madrid with me. I just don't like it here so far away from home. I miss my family." She rambled to him honestly.

Quinn softened at that , turning around he slid the plate in front of her along with some water to drink.

Leaning against the table next to her as he watched her eat like a starving child would, gently lifting up the strap of her dress up that had fallen down her arm, fixing it for her.

"That's sweet. You really want to take me home huh?" He teased her quietly, blushing.

Cherrie just hummed , eyes on the plate in front of her. "Yeah. I told my dad that you weren't that bad, that you're kinda funny . I thought I would hate you but I don't." She told him, sounding just as surprised as he was to hear that she spoke to her dad about him.

His eyes widened in shock "you talked to your dad about me?" He couldn't believe it.

She just nodded, smiling casually up at him. "Yeah. He's gonna take you golfing with him when we go." She told him , already making plans without even telling him.

Quinn felt his heart warm, the grin nearly splitting his face as he followed her to her room, hand Hovering over her back just in case she stumbled.

"I am? Since when?" He was amused .

She pulled him into her room with her, throwing herself down onto her bed then wincing in pain "since I called him. Idiot," she rubbed at her back .

Quinn eyed her back in concern and asked her "you take the meds this morning?"

"Yeah. I have this gel for my back but they think I've got octopus hands." She giggled , nodding over to her nightstand where the tube of gel was sitting.

Quinn hesitated for a moment before clearing his throat quietly . "I could-I could help you out with it if you want." He mumbled shyly , fidgeting with his hands. Not liking to see her in pain, if he could help her then he would.

Cherrie beamed at him, pulling on some shirt cotton shorts underneath her dress before pulling the tight material off. Leaving her in the shorts and a lace bra , she laid down onto the bed on her stomach .

"Thanks q. I owe you one." She yawned, laying her head on her arms as she got comfortable , Quinn reaching over for the gel with a small nod.

He eyed her for a moment wondering which was the best way to do it before stopping himself from overthinking and just climbing onto the bed. He settled on the back of her thighs and rubbed some of the gel onto his hands, warming it up between his palms first before he hesitating again.

"Okay..." he exhaled shaky before carefully pressing his hands down on her back , gently rubbing out the knots and massaging around where the pain was.

"You okay?" He checked , laughing quietly when she just groaned and gave him a lazy thumbs up. "Okay."

Cherries eyes fluttered closed "you're so good at this. Well done." She mumbled tiredly.

Quinn flushed pink at her praise , smiling down at her back as he massaged her spine carefully, applying just the right pressure that had her squirming below him, a small moan falling from her lips at the feeling.

Quinn swallowed "thank you." He almost whispered before focusing on what he was doing. Trying to ignore the small, cute sounds she was letting out as she did so.

An hour later and he was finally done, Cherrie now laid on her back as he gently wiped off her smudged makeup with a wipe. Rolling his eyes as she kept laughing like a stubborn brat , turning her head away from him .

He held her jaw in place with his hand firmly

, then wiped the wipe over face softly to get it all

off.

Cherrie just looked up at him, admiring him. Then she reached out and gently poked the end of his nose making him flinch in shock, eyes snapping up from her cheeks to see her grinning down at him.

"You look like a boxer." She blurted out.

Quinn's brows furrowed "great. Thank you." He sarcastically replied , grabbing her hand to stop her poking at his healing nose.

Before he could feel self conscious about it, Cherrie was quick to add on once she noticed his face fall as he attempted to pull away from her.

"No!no! That's not a bad thing!" She assured him quickly "I once had a Fling with a boxer and he could hold me up against any wall with just one hand while he fucked-"

Quinn made a High pitched noise to shut her up "ah! Don't need to hear it! God!" He pulled a face , pretending to be sick. "Go to sleep loudmouth." He told her, pulling the blanket over her as he tucked her into the bed .

She pouted up at him unhappily "are you mad at me?" She asked him drunkenly , sniffling,

Alarmed, he gaped down at her for a moment . Quickly shaking his head and sat beside her on the bed.

Gently Smoothing her hair away from her face "no. I'm not." He muttered, amused by her sudden mood swing.

She sniffled again , grabbing his hand and kissing his knuckles as she mumbled against them. "Good because if your mad at me then I'll get mad at you for being mad at me-"

He chuckled fondly at her, shaking his head in amusement . "Good thing I'm not mad at you then." He said.

She smiled sloppily "good thing." She repeated happily before yawning again.

"I really like your face Quinn." She suddenly told him.

He slowly got to his feet, smiling down at her as she struggled to fight off sleep. One eye on him as she yawned again.

"I like your face as well." He mumbled quietly , trying so hard not to laugh at the absurdity of all of it.

He felt like he was dreaming.

A pause. Then "just my face?"

He did laugh this time "shut up. Go to sleep, we'll talk in the morning." He told her affectionately, heart as warm as his stomach was as he headed to the door ,  shaking his head to himself in disbelief.

"Night Q. Dream of me!" She called sleepily after him, serious as shit,

He carefully shut the door behind him, laughing beneath his breath as he did so. "Will do." He muttered before heading to his own room to replay each moment between them in his head all night .

The next morning Cherrie awoke with a familiar feeling of regret and Nausea, cursing underneath her breath as she swore to never drink like that again.

Cringing in pain as she pulled herself up out of her bed , head in hands in shame as last nights Memories came rushing back to her like a bad dream.

Embrassment filling her as she recalled her ramblings about his Nose and telling him that she liked his pretty face , there was no way she could

Keep up her cool girl act now . Quinn had already seen too much of the real her already , how the hell was she supposed to act normal after that?

She could still feel the warmth of his hands on her skin from touching her last night, the way he had carefully massaged her back, keeping respectful and mindful of her drunken state too. Lips quirkily up as she remembered how flustered he had been to her casual compliments , acting as though nobody had ever told him something like before. It made her both sad and happy , pleased that she could be the one to let him know how good he really was .

She wasn't used to guys like Quinn , sensitive and quite. Thoughtful and kind, not a selfish bone in his body and not a bad intention in sight with her.

She was used to cocky, arrogant guys who thought that just because they were hot and rich, that women seemed to owe them something. Entilited and rude, throwing girls away like they were disposable toys when they got bored and wanted Another one instead.

It was a big reason to why she had stayed far away from love and relationships altogether , she had seen the way the guys treated their girlfriends and the way they behaved when they weren't around too.

A paddock full of cheaters and liars , it was enough to put her off men for a long time. At least she thought so.

Then stupid Quinn with his stupid cute face, and his stupid mumbles and stupid blushing cheeks , with his stupid crooked smile and stupid kind heart.

It was just so stupid. Yet there was nothing she could do about it now, she had the love bug and she felt almost sick with it as she dragged herself out of bed, guilt for making Quinn look after her drunken self making her pull out a pan and get to work.

Scrunching io her nose to herself as she stared down at the plate full of handmade pancakes in her hands , hesitating outside of his bedroom door for a moment before simply sighing in defeat.

"Fuck it. I'm fucked anyway. Might as well get fucked while I'm at it." She muttered away to herself , still dressed in only a large shirt and panties , hair a complete mess around her face . But Quinn had already seen her in worse states so..oh well.

Pushing open the door with her free hand , she walked right into his room like she owned the place. Grinning In amusement as she looked down at Quinn , his face smushed into a pillow with the covers pooling at his waist , chest bare with soft snores escaping his parted lips.

He looked like a mess, but a cute one.

Carefully placing the plate on his bedside table , she then raised herself onto of the bed till she was straddling His lap. Poking his cheek over and over again.

""Q." She sang down to him , flicking his forhead now as he let out a sleepy groan below her, frowning in his sleep as she continued to prod at him like a child wanting attention .

"Wake up mi amor. I've made you something." She told him , drum rolling her knuckles against his chin now instead .

He slowly peeled open one eye, taking a long moment to just look up at her in confusion.

Still half asleep, he croaked in amazement"am I still dreaming?" Hands coming up to lazily rest on her hips as he struggled to wake up. Humming sleepily as she brought her hand to his messy hair and gently scratched at his scalp, making him shiver like a cat.

Cherrie just laughed "depends. Dream of me often?" She cheeked, poking at the warm skin of his blushing cheek with her pointer finger. Hoping to annoy him Into waking up.

Quinn just smiled lazily , finally waking up as he realised that this really wasn't a dream and that she really was in his room, in his bed and straddling his waist in just a oversized tshirt .

He felt his heart race and stomach flood with heat, swallowing thickly.

"Some are dreams, some are nightmares." He quipped back at her with a soft smirk , twisting the tshirt at her thighs , his thumb brushing against the soft skin there with each stroke.

He then smelt something sweet and turned his head to see a plate full of syrup covered pancakes on his bedside table, his eyes widening in surprise as he felt warmth flood himself.

"You made me breakfast?" He echoed in disbelief , sitting up so he could grab the plate. Cherrie sliding off his lap to sit crossed legged in front of him instead.

She nodded sheepishly , tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Yeah. I'm a great pancake maker. Think of this as an apology for looking after my drunk ass last night." She muttered , watching him practically inhale the pancake without even taking a break.

Feeling pride take over her as he groaned happily , then reaching over to squeeze her cheeks in his hand , giving her head a little shake as he grinned at her happily. Overcome with emotion for her then.

"Thank you." He simply told her , instead of adding a 'oh by the way. I love you now.' To it. Having a feeling that it might be a little too soon and the last thing he wanted to do was scare her and have her running back home to Madrid without him.

A thought occurred to him then "did you make some for yourself?" At her shaking head , he frowned unhappily .

"I had some fruit. It's for you Quinn!" She insisted while chuckling , but he was too stubborn. Just like she was .

He cut up a slice of his pancake and brought the fork up to her lips, tapping it against her mouth impatiently when she just looked back at him in amusement.

"Eat it." He said. Before impatiently shoving the fork through her lips and feeding her it himself , grinning to himself as she nearly choked , quickly chewing as she slapped at his shoulder with narrowed eyes.

He just laughed . Happy. So fucking happy that nothing else mattered.

"You kept telling me that you liked my face last night." He mumbled more to himself, but Cherrie still caught it. Still noticed the way his face flushed red at the memory.

Smirking a little, she simply shrugged . "I'm an honest woman. I think you're pretty. You don't think I'm pretty?" She wound him up. Wanting to get a rise out of him, a easy way in.

Because Cherrie wasn't normal , she didn't go about emotional things like this normally .

So she did it her own way, she fed him pancakes and then teased him, a kind of warmup to what she was going to ask him any minute now.

Quinn looked at her bed head and smudged mascara, then smiled genuinely. Shyness keeping his eyes down to his now empty plate .

"'Course I do. You know you're pretty. Well, more than pretty . I don't need to tell you that for you to know." He mumbled quietly , settling his plate aside.

Cherrie just hummed , pleased as she shuffled closer to him on the bed. "I know but it's still nice to hear."

There was a long moment of quietness between them, Cherrie just silently watching as Quinn fidgeted and looked at anything but her. Feeling those stupid feelings and stupid butterflies swarm her body, she sighed loudly.

"Quinn?"

He peered over at her shyly "yeah?"

Cherries face was calm as she bluntly asked him "do you want to have sex with me?"

Quinn choking on his spit as he gasped out a stolen breath , mouth dropping open in shock. Heart racing in his chest as he scanned her face for a lie, a joke..but all he saw was impatience and honesty ...and a little amusement too .

Cherrie raising a brow at him as he took a second too long to answer , in shock. And feeling like he was hallucinating.

"Right now?" He whispered in disbelief , swallowing audibly as she moved even closer to him. Pressing her hands to his chest and Pushing him back down to his pillows with a impatient huff.

Rolling her eyes at him with a playful grin as she leaned down to press a kiss against his ear, feeling him shiver beneath to her . His shaky hands coming up to clutch at her hips with an iron grip, dazed by the sudden turn of events.

She had made him pancakes and was now offering sex? Quinn felt like he was going to pass the fuck out. Breath hitching in his throat as she pressed open mouthed kisses across his skin, grinding down on his lap as she did so.

He moaned lowly. Yeah. Felt pretty real alright.

"Yes now. Maybe later too. And tomorrow and the next day and so on ." She muttered against his jaw , pulling back enough so she could hold his chin in her fingers , raising a brow at him mischievously. "So?"

Quinn somehow managed to hold eye contact with her , rapidly nodding his head as he let out a nervous laugh. Boxers tightening as he bucked his hips up with a small hiss , gasping a little as she bounced her ass back on him casually , all the while calmly looking down at his bright red face.

"Sounds good. Cool.. yeah-er" he stammered out , eyes glued to her smirking mouth as he felt desire raining over them. His hands slipping beneath her shirt and feeling her bare skin at his fingers , he exhaled shakily .

"Good idea." He blurted out nervously  .

Then "can I have a kiss?" He mumbled shyly making Cherrie laugh loudly , shaking her head fondly at him before ducking her head down and kissing him in a way that he had only ever dreamed of.

A moan falling against her mouth as he tilted his head , nose brushing gently against her own as he deepened the kiss , her tongue kissing every inch of his mouth as she made him realise just why she was one of the most wanted women in the world.

They didn't call her 'siren hips with a golden mouth' for nothing . Quinn soon learned . The apartment filling with their moans and whimpers as she took him in her mouth , took him in her hand , took him in her dripping cunt . Just for him.

She made him see stars and taste what happiness really felt like. She made him feel free.

A few hours later and the both of them were now half dressed, still lazying about on his bed, her feet in his lap as he painted her nails black for her .

Leaning back on her elbows, dressed in a open button shirt of his. She didn't bother to do up the buttons , enjoying the way Quinn couldn't keep his eyes away from her love bitten chest .

His mouth going dry each time she laughed at his stupid jokes he mumbled to her , leaning forward to kiss her lips each time he dipped the nail polish brush back into the bottle . Using it as a excuse just to keep her close.

"Ten out of ten." She suddenly spoke up after a while of comfortable silence and soft kisses between them.

Quinn arching a brow in confusion as he moved onto painting the nails on her other foot. "For what?"

She smirked at him cheekily "ten out of ten would fuck again." She teased , rubbing the heel of her foot over his half hard bulge. Already getting hard just at the sight of her smiling at him like that, in his shirt and looking at him like he was worth it.

He breathed out a shy laugh , cheeks a permanent red now. "Yeah?"

She just hummed contently . "Yeah. I've never had a boyfriend ya know ..not a serious one always." She admitted to him , knowing exactly what she wanted now.

And one thing she knew was that she always got what she wanted in the end.

Quinn hesitated for a moment before muttering quietly to her , a hopeful look in his eyes that he couldn't hide from her .

Bashfulness taking over him despite the fact that not even half an hour ago he had his head between her thighs , and his tongue and fingers in her cunt while she screamed out in pleasure beneath him.

"Do you want one? A boyfriend I mean.." he mumbled , screwing the nail polish back on as he blew air on them to dry them quicker. Rubbing at her ankles with his hands too, anything just to keep her touch on his.

Cherrie looked at him for a long moment, titling her head as she admired his outgrown hair, messy stubble and crooked nose. Trailing down to his bare chest filled with small scars , bruises and now a trail of lovebites leading right down to his pelvis , smiling to herself smugly as she just took him in.

Nodding her head contently to herself, she knew that this was it. Her time to dance the love tango had come , she wasn't about to back out now. Not when it felt so good just to see him smile and hold her hand.

"I want you." She simply said, confident and unashamed .

Smiling at the way he laughed quietly beneath his breath , seeing the way his breath stalled in his throat , looking back at her like she was the sun, the moon and every star in the galaxy wrapped up just for him.

He swallowed "I want you too." He muttered , shuffling over to lay his head in her lap. Sliding his hand up her stomach , the other one rubbing soothing circles into her back as he pressed a soft kiss against her hipbone , then sucked a little love there too. Just because he could now.

Cherrie smirked down at him, fingers pulling his hair back as she tilted his head up to her , leaning down to kiss his mouth and seal the promise

"You're mine now Q. I'm gonna make you so incredibly satisfied and happy.."

Quinn chuckled at her confidence , cheeks heating up he knew that it was true.

Feeling his emotions ball in his throat, he simply caught her lips in another kiss and mumbled against her mouth "you're mine too."

The next week went by in a flash, the two of them filming little videos for there teams to be happy about, but mostly just spending time together. Plans were being made and kisses were being pressed against any piece of skin they could reach, some part of them always touching as they orbited around each other easily . Just like it was meant to be .

Currently they were sat crossed legged on the couch as Cherrie spread a bright green face mask over his Face gently , a pink one already on her own as they had a pamper day. Quinn unable to say no to her, instead just enjoying the feel of her hands on him as she helped him relax.

"It'll make your skin feel so soft amor." She told him softly as she took a selfie of the two of them, Quinn wearing her fluffy bunny headband so the mask didn't get into his hair. Leaning his head against her shoulder as he smiled down at their reflection on her phone , kissing her collarbone as she snapped away.

He snuggled into her side and hummed "you know, we still have three months off even when the two weeks are up." He mentioned to her not so subtly , wanting her to be the one to make the call between them.

Cherrie knew that, so at his hinting , she smirked down at him. Pressing a affectionate kiss against the side of his head as she texted her father back home, telling him the change of plans.

"I know..any plans?" She teased.

Quinn rested his head ahinst her shoulder as he watched her text her dad, biting down on his lip to try and contain his smile as he read what she had wrote to him.

'Don't have a heartattack papa but I'm bringing home a guy soon'

Her father texted back quickly : an American? Cherrie...

Quinn chuckled quietly , kissing her shoulder softly as warmth flooded his chest as he realised that she was telling her father about him. No doubt in her mind that this was the real thing.

sorry . But you'll like him , he's obsessed with me and I'm pretty sure that he's going to marry me the first chance he gets.'

As he read her response , he nudged her shoulder with a loud laugh , amused "Cherrie! I'm not obsssed-" he tried to deny but quickly trailed off when she just gave him a look. Making him sigh In defeat "okay maybe a little bit don't tell your dad that! He'll think I'm weird!" He whined.

Cherrie just rolled her eyes at him "he will not. He loves love. He's been rooting for me to fall in love since I was a teenager . He actually cried for me when I didn't bring home a boyfriend last Christmas, trust me. American or not, he's going to be happy that I'm not going to die alone now." She told him matter of factly.

And she was right.

The joy was evident through the phone : my heart! I am so happy for you and American boy! You bring him home and we make him better! Madrid will do his soul good!'

"See? He's like you already." She said smugly to him.

Quinn couldn't believe how accepting her father was being about this. Couldn't believe that she wanted him enough to tell her father so.

His smile couldn't get any bigger "I love you." He told her suddenly , unable to hold it back anymore.

The love at first sight thing was no joke , it came and swiped them off their feet.

One day you were sad and alone and the next you were snuggling on the couch , green face mask on with a beautiful girl telling you that she was going to bring you home with her.

Quinn felt like he was dreaming , the happiness too much for his body as he held her close and smothered the urge to put a ring on it right there and then.

He at least wanted to meet her father first , take her out on a real date. Maybe after the third one he could browse for diamonds . A lot could happen in three months and he planned on enjoying every single moment of his time with Cherrie.

His dream girl was now his girlfriend, he couldn't believe it.

There was no doubt and no hesitation in her response , no surprise or shock at him saying it. It just felt right.

So she kissed him softly and told him easily "I love you."

But Before she could pull his clothes off and show him just how much she loved him with her mouth and body, his front door burst open making them gasp in surprise.

Jack and Trevor froze as they took in the scene in front of them , his brother's mouth dropping open as he looked at Quinn. Hickeys all over his neck and a green face mask on his face , bunny ears in his hair while Cherrie Valentine straddled his lap in just his shirt .

They both laughed loudly in shock , making Quinn groan in misery as he buried his face into her neck, hiding away from the two of them. Cherrie didn't give a single shit, simply giggling as she waved at them casually .

"Hey guys." She simply said.

Jack was the first one to gasp "oh my god!" He cackled quickly walking over to them, starstruck as he looked begeeen his brother and Cherrie Valentine.

"I can't believe this! Are you- with him-" he motioned his finger between them in disbelief .

Quinn groaned again in annoyance , not removing his face from the crook of her neck as he snapped a "fuck off!" At the two of therm. Only getting ignored.

Cherrie just laughed, smiling at the two gaping guys in front of her. "Yeah. He's mine now. I'm Cherrie- nice to meet you-" she shook their hands with a smile.

Trevor snorted "I can't believe this! I mean- huggy bear of all people?" He couldn't believe it, neither of them could.

Quinn pulled his face away from her neck to glare at them. "Fuck you! Get out!" He threw a cushion at them in Annoyance, regretting not locking his door when they woke up.

He saw Jack slowly lifting his phone up to take a picture of him in his bunny headband , green face mask and hickeys and glared .

"Don't you dare!" He warned him but it was too late, Jack was already giggling as he snapped away, already sending it to the guys groupchat to let them see what Quinn had turned into.

Defeated, he sagged back down on the couch , pulling a amused Cherrie down with him, catching the way Trevor was about to open his mouth and say something stupid

He just inhaled sharply and snapped at them "not a fucking word!"

Silence.

Then Jack curiously spoke up "Cherrie?"

She hummed casually as though she wasn't laid ontop of his grumpy brother who was pulling a blanket over their heads , trying to ignoring them completely.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going back to Madrid this weekend?" He s asked her , rocking back on the heels on his feet like a kid wanting candy. Plastering a innocent smile on his face.

Cherrie laughed , already having a feeling that she knew where this was going .

"Yes I am. Quinn's coming too." She told them easily.

Quinn poked his green face out of the blanket to glare at their smiling faces "don't you dare-"

"Can we come too? You won't even know where there! It'll be like a holiday! It'll be so fun!" Jack tried to persuade her. Trevor nodding along excitedly

"Yeah man! We can get to know each other better! And I'll show you how bad Quinn is at any other sport than hockey." He joked, Quinn rolling his eyes at him with a loud groan of misery.

"Say no." He muttered to Cherrie in a whine , pleading with her.

She took no notice , too busy laughing and nodding her head yes. "Sure. You can stay a week but Quinn's staying three months so.."

Jack gasped in shock looking at his brother in disbelief. "Three months in Madrid? Seriously?!"

Quinn grinned smugly at him "that's right. I won. Fuck you." He couldn't help but rub it in, knowing that the guys were going to be jealous of him for the rest of his life now.

He couldn't believe that he was even thinking it but he was so glad that he broke his nose now , recovery time off had never been so sweet.

[fanfiction4sooya]

<<< powerbottom!chaer and service!top reader would be perfection 🙏🏽🙏🏽

here you go sweetie, thanks for the request!! Hope you like it! 💖💖💖

Chaeryeong was pissed. No, scratch that.

She was fuming.

Her tango partner was literally so drunk he could barely stand, leaving her at the gala they were supposed to do a presentation.

After the commotion that asshole caused died down a little you could feel her eyes on you, knowing very well she was going to need your help to calm down. Her beautiful face stone cold as that built up anger stormed inside her; the tip of her ears a little reddened, the only hint of emotion on her.

She walked through the hall full of people like a storm approaching, all eyes on her, the combination of red dress and that jet black hair in a perfectly tight low bun. Of course you followed her without saying anything, like a puppy.

She needed your help but you only needed her.

She entered an empty room followed by you, who locked the door as you passed through.

Chaeryeong was perfectly sat on the edge of a desk, that was probably somebody's office but of course she didn't care. She cared very little about anything.

She cared about dance, her image and of course, you.

That game you two had going on, that thrilling chase she always set the pace for. You were always following her, but she was like a very dense smoke slipping from your fingers whenever you thought you could really touch it.

"Are you okay?" You said, slowly approaching her. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh yes, being stood up by my partner on an important presentation was my number one dream" Her legs were crossed and you could see her milky thighs from it's gap.

"Stupid question. Sorry" You sheepishly said. Her stone cold demeanor got you on fire, aching for the moment you could touch her.

"Don't apologize with words" Her perfectly manicured nails were sharp against the desk's edge, clicking as she impatiently drummed her fingers. You smirked getting closer for a much needed kiss, but she deflected your touch.

"Don't smudge my lipstick" Oh, now you got it.

"I won't apologize with words, then" You said, getting on your knees. Unlike hers your dress was tight and short, easy for you to kneel.

You started trailing kisses from her ankle, your hands softly touching her as she kept that dark gaze on your face, a sly smirk appearing on her lips as you uncrossed her legs. She stopped you from going up any further by putting her incredibly high heel on your shoulder, pushing you down.

"Chaeryeong" You bit your lip.

"What do you need?" She darkly said.

"I need you" You whimpered, the urge to have her on your hands getting stronger by the second.

"I don't know, you don't seem that excited" She looked at her beautiful nails.

Brat.

"Please, let me show you how much I need you" You pleaded, her high heel sinking deeper on your shoulder and making you hiss.

"I don't know if you deserve me" She looked at you, her face full of a certain plasticized disdain. "But I might explode with anger if I don't cool off, so that'll do" She looked at your lips, pushing harder with her heel. "Lay down"

"Wh-what?" You said, a little taken aback.

"If you don't lay down in the next five seconds I'll leave you here" She said, rolling her eyes and you promptly obeyed laying down on the cold hard floor.

She stood up, swaying her hips beautifully as she looked at you lying there.

"I wanna ruin your beautiful make up just like my night was ruined" She stood literally over you, each foot at your sides.

"Fuck, you are so pretty" You said as she kneeled over your face.

"I know that" She said pulling her lacy underwear aside, her glistening pussy red and swollen, ready for the take. "Show me how much you need me"

If you didn't know her better you would swear she wasn't so turned on. But that was Chaeryeong and you knew damn well she was just very good at poker face.

You didn't wait for her to tell you twice, pulling her down with certain urgency to taste her. You hummed at the contact, as she shamelessly moaned. Her eyes were on you, observing how delighted you were with her taste, loving the fact that you would do anything just to taste her, to touch her.

You pushed your tongue past her pussy lips, ripping an even louder moan from her throat; it was guttural, visceral and all of the dirty adjetives you could ever think of. Unconsciously you slipped one of your hands over your own panties, moaning against her soaked core. The vibrations making her shiver.

"Fuck" She tossed her head back. "You are doing so good" She looked so good like that, so perfectly put together...

She moaned louder, wanting nothing more than her orgasm.

"Put your tongue out and hold your breath" She commanded and you didn't even had time to process what she said as she fully sat on your face. "Jesus, fuck" She cursed, the contact with your full face was almost too good to be true.

She started humping at a rapid pace, holding your hair with both hands. Chasing her orgasm as if her life depended on that. As she increased her pace you did the same, your underwear ruined as your juices started leaking.

"Fuck baby, I'm gonna cum on your pretty face" She humped harder, you couldn't breathe, barely able to hear anything but you didn't have to. You just had to be her perfect fuckdoll and let her use your face to get off. "Fucking hell..." She screamed, squirting all over your face, making you close your eyes as you came as well.

She smeared her wetness all over your face, using the whole extent of it for her own pleasure, to get her own high. Biting her lower lip, saying obscenities as she basically sat on your chest, leaning back on her right arm.

"Fuck" She looked at your wet face smudged with lipstick, mascara running down your eyes as you tried to catch your breath.

She leaned down to lick her wetness from your chin to your mouth just like a cat would do.

"Your lipstick" You tried to avoid her lips, but she forced you to face her as she sank her nails on your blushed cheeks.

"I don't care anymore" She fully kissed your mouth now. Wet and demanding as always. "We will get out of this party and you'll properly fuck me" She kept licking your face, biting your earlobe. "I'm still mad, after all"

[lonesome-witching]

The World Can Know

I have gotten the request to write a celebrity AU by @rabbitofdeath-atcastleaarrggh based on this post by @autismbarbie (I think). And I have to say I absolutely loved that post so much that I was a little excited to write this.

You can read my previous prompts or send me some new ones.

It had all started with a drunken tweet. She shouldn’t have been drunk. It was only 2 pm and she was supposed to be working. But she had finished the last song for her album, and somebody had pulled out a bottle of champagne and now she was sipping lukewarm beers in the recording booth and scrolling through twitter.

It was then that Robin Buckley saw a picture of Nancy Wheeler. It wasn’t that she had never seen her before, she had seen Nancy everywhere. A couple of days ago, she and Steve had gone to see one of her movies. And Robin had returned the next day to watch it again. So, she knew of Nancy Wheeler. She had seen her all dolled up in movies and on red carpets. She had spent an embarrassing long time staring at her in that flowy top with her dark red lips at the Paris fashion week just a few nights ago.

The only difference was that all of those times Robin hadn’t been drunk, and therefore had been able to refrain herself from making her tiny obsession public knowledge. But this time as she noticed the picture of Nancy Wheeler in a simple blue shirt, purple cap and sunglasses walking in New York, the same streets Robin walked every single day, she was drunk.

Her fingers were typing out the words before her mind had registered them. Her thumb only hesitated a second before posting the tweet.

Literally dont FUCKIGN talk to me if u r not Nancy wheeler btw!!! dont even say hi i’ll be pissed

She regretted that tweet that same night when a text from Steve told her to check twitter. The memory of her own embarrassment came flooding back and the only reason she opened her account was with the pure intention of deleting the entire thing. That was her intention until she noticed the notification. It was a simple reply, just a simple hi with a smiley face behind it. The main reason Robin nearly went into cardiac arrest was that it was from Nancy freaking Wheeler. 

-

Talking with Nancy had been surprisingly easy. They had hung out a few times, going for walks after dark and eating take out in Nancy’s luxurious apartment. Robin had even invited Nancy to the recording studio after a mix up with the vocals forced her to drop everything. They often talked until the early morning hours, laughing and crying like kids at their first sleepover.

Now that Robin was able to see Nancy in real life it became obvious that the pictures and movies didn’t do her justice. That she looked best when she woke up with her hair all messed up and her eyes only half open.

It also became obvious that Robin was falling in love with her. Robin had difficulty not staring or stuttering when they hung out. She would always trip over her words whenever she tried to give Nancy a genuine compliment. And when Nancy returned the favor her cheeks would heat up and turn bright red. The words ‘I’m in love with Nancy Wheeler’ might as well have been tattooed on her forehead.

As the months crawled forward Robin and Nancy hung out more and more. Even when Nancy had to go to LA for some promotion material for her newest premiere, they called every night. Robin would listen attentively to Nancy chattering about her day as she stayed up way too late talking the other girl to sleep.

It almost felt like they were dating. Almost.

Robin tried her best not to dream about that possibility. After all, she had already gotten way too lucky to have her idol in her life.

Robin checked her phone for the thousandth time, waiting for a reply from Nancy. But as her screen lit up, she saw nothing but her lock screen. It had been a mere 9 hours since she last received a text from Nancy. She could survive 9 hours without Nancy. She had to.

Robin checked her phone again when the doorbell rang out, echoing through her too empty apartment. She dropped the phone on the couch and got up, shuffling to the door. On the other side stood Nancy Wheeler, her hair wet and dripping raindrops on the floor.

“It’s raining,” she stated as her eyes stared into Robin’s face.

“Nance? What are you doing here? Come in, come here.” Robin pulled her in, nearly hugging her. “I’m going to get you a towel… And— and some dry clothes. You should shower. I thought you were in LA.”

“I just got back. I— Robin, I need to speak with you.”

Robin stopped running around, a pink towel in her hand that nearly dropped to the floor as she saw the expression on Nancy’s face. “Okay.”

“I—” Nancy frowned. “I don’t know where to start.”

“Maybe at the beginning,” Robin offered.

“I don’t know if there is a beginning. And I’m hoping this isn’t the end. I just feel like there is middle. Everything has been the middle. I can’t start at the beginning because there isn’t one. There is just you.”

“Me?”

Nancy nodded, taking a deep breath. “There is just you. And then there is me. And I’m hoping you and me could be an us.” Nancy’s teeth were digging into her bottom lip and Robin worried she’d draw blood.

“What are you—” Realization dawned on her. Nancy’s doe eyes and nervous expressions might have not been enough, but her words were clear. “Oh.”

Nancy nodded again, barely. “Do you think—”

“Yes. I like that. I’d really like to be an us.”

Nancy’s lips turned into a bright smile as she closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together.

-

“I wrote you a song,” Robin said about two weeks after their first kiss.

They were laying in Nancy’s bed, cuddling and kissing. It had been heavenly to be cooped up in Nancy’s flat the entire day. It had been marvelous to sink into her mattress and feel her lips all over her body. And now Robin was enjoying the warmth of her girlfriend.

“You wrote me a song?” Nancy asked with a soft voice.

“I did.”

“That is so sweet.” Robin could hear the smile in Nancy’s voice.

“I was hoping you would be in the video.”

“I would love to be in the video.”

-

They had agreed to keep their relationship to themselves until the video came out. Which Robin knew, logically speaking, wasn’t very long. It was supposed to be released in less than a month time so it would align with Nancy’s premiere.

But Robin was ecstatic about her new situation, and she had lasted about 3 days after they had agreed. It had at first been a slip of the thumb. She had taken this adorable picture of Nancy and couldn’t not post it. Maybe she could have used a more ambiguous caption than ‘gf reveal’ but she had slipped up. It was Nancy’s fault for being so cute.

It was only when no one believed her that she kept going, that she kept tweeting about Nancy and her dating. Not that it helped.

“They still don’t believe me. It’s insane.”

Nancy laughed softly. “At least I know it’s true.,” she said as she pulled the phone out of Robin’s hands and crawled onto her lap.

-

The premiere of Nancy’s movie was scheduled for Friday. The music video was going to drop Thursday. Robin smiled as she thought about it. But tonight, on this beautiful Monday evening, Nancy was curled up into her side as they watched the Late Night Show together. Nancy was on this episode and when she was announced Robin cheered at the screen, much to her girlfriend’s amusement. 

“So, we have to ask, is there anyone special you are taking to the premiere on Friday?”

“Well, actually, there is,” screen Nancy answered, and Robin’s eyes widened. “I’ll be taking my girlfriend, Robin Buckley.”

Nancy’s arms tightened around Robin’s waist. “So, I may have told the world.”

“Yeah,” Robin replied, nodding at the screen, not even registering the reaction from the audience.

“You’re not mad, are you?” Nancy looked up with those soft doe eyes.

“Mad? Why would I be mad? I’m delighted. I’ve been talking about it for ages now. All I wanted was you and for the whole world to know.” She lowered her face to press a kiss on her girlfriend’s lips.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for trying to earn some much needed cash by playing what I thought was going to be a harmless prank on a friend?

Hey tumblr! So I’m (31m) part of this close knit friend group, but honestly we think of ourselves more as a social movement. Yeah, I know how that sounds, but it’s honestly cool, trust me. A lot of what we do revolves around this one guy (33m) in our group who’s this insanely good public speaker (I’ll refer to him as “J” from now on). Sometimes J also incorporates these impressive magic tricks, he must’ve trained somewhere, but whenever I ask him he gets on some mystical bullshit or just mentions growing up around a wood shop. Like that makes sense. Whatever. Honestly, he does really get me excited sometimes about what he says, even if some of his eccentricities are a pain.

Another case in point: there doesn’t seem to be a lot of planning going around with the others, especially around money. Somehow, this has resulted in me being the one taking care of our finances (despite another guy literally being a tax accountant 🙄).

So, lately we’ve been pretty low on funds and have done a lot of couch surfing, which is not fucking easy when there’s 13 of us! I guess this has caused some tension, and things really exploded when some overly emotional fan broke a really expensive perfume bottle to make some sentimental statement. I yelled something about how the money gone into the perfume could’ve been better used, and while I know I could’ve read the room better, I was just really fucking pissed about everything.

Well, J responds with just the most condescending fucking shit where he kind of said he was more important than lower income people?? Like wtf??? It was after this that I decided to play a prank on him that would also fix our money problem.

You see, a while back J made some dumb comment threatening to destroy a heritage building in three days, and I guess somehow the authorities found out. He was charged, but no arrests were made since we do so much travelling and it’s not like he’s high on their priorities. However, a reward for information on his whereabouts still stands at 30 pieces of silver, which could mean no more crowded sleeping areas and dinners of stale bread and fish. I figured, I could anonymously call in, he would get arrested and end up with a slap on the wrist. We solve our money problem and he gets knocked down a few pegs. Worst comes to worse, he can always just escape using his skills from his magician shtick. No harm done, right?

First thing that goes wrong was somehow J found out, I still have no idea how. Instead of making a big scene though he just said some passive aggressive shit about it over supper. I just didn’t want to deal with that, so I got up and left. Ended up making the call to the cops that night. They found him hanging out with some of the others by a public park later and arrested him there.

Then everything else went wrong. There was a bunch of bureaucratic fuckery. It looks like J made a bigger splash than I thought, and he got moved from a lower level court to the highest one in our country. For some insane reason they increased his charges and gave him a death sentence?! I still have no idea how all this is fucking legal. Now, J’s on death row and everyone’s blaming me and I’m honestly freaking tf out.

AITA for accidentally getting my friend killed by doing what I thought was going to be a harmless prank?

[review-anon]

Thoughts on Leon Kuwata?

And now we are onto 11037 himself.

Now Leon's design is what I question about because he's supposed to be the first male character designed, but he looks a lot less plain then Sayaka does. Was Sayaka designed before Leon? Must be or maybe he was gonna be a punk rock guy before they went into baseball? Given how Distrust was working out, could be the case.

I mentioned this on Min's entry but Danganronpa Chapter 1 deaths are either people you think would be important, or people that can't last more then one chapter. And Leon fits the latter as having a Ultimate who hates their talent seems to be interesting but there's only so much you can do with that. And what's funny is while some different victim combos made it so Sayaka could have lived, Leon was always the culprit. Whenever it be Kyoko, Junko or Sayaka, Leon was always gonna stake a girl.

People often shit on the 11037 thing but this is a case of something lost in translation. While English is taught in schools and a good chunk of the Japanese population do know it, its kinda like Spanish for Americans or French for British, something people find boring and not worth their time. And so having it spelt as LEON in English when your main audience is Japanese is actually clever as imagine if it was say in Spanish, you wouldn't pick up on it so it was a very good clue. Unfortunately once it comes over to the West, and we English speakers see it, its obvious as day and we are just left wondering how stupid the cast isi.

I already mentioned how Leon was more sympathetic in the manga version but I want to address another misconception about the murder and that's why Sayaka targeted Leon given how as an atllethic he would easily overpower. Well remember that Leon often shirks practise so his muscles aren't as good as they should be. Meanwhile idols have to do a lot of dance routines so they are actually quite healthy and strong, so Sayaka could actually overpower Leon. Plus I think another reason she targeted him was she was pissed how he thought music would be "easy" compared to sports given all Sayaka had to work towards to achieve her goal, she would see this as an insult.

Leon's execution though I consider to be one of the most brutal in the franchise as he's literally stoned to death. And given it was a Distrust execution that got barely any chances it shows why, which makes me horrified to consider what the others would have been like. We know Junko would have gone like French Queens would have but what would the other deaths been like? I don't think I want to consider it.

And the other tragedy is unlike Sayaka who fans recognise has been given shaft by canon and give her some one ups, Leon doesn't get that as he barely gets anything in any of the askblogs and is reduced to comic relief. Unfortunately when you are considered a meme character, you ain't gonna get much.

And its not like I'm gonna be any better so don't count on it.

[spopsalt]

Bro are you mentally ok? You're over here saying that Rick and Morty's familial relationship is healthier than Catra and Adora's relationship like??? Have you even watched the shows??? I'm convinced that you're braindead or just media illiterate.

Oh wow! Well looky here! Such a lovely anon ask <3 First off, if you don't like my content... maybe just block me instead of asking if I'm mentally okay and calling me braindead??? I'm not saying their dynamic is healthy, far from it, but I'm saying that it's healthier than c//a (Not like that's a high bar) Anywayyyy allow me to explain why it's healthier than your incest cute totally healthy ship. Again, just wanna make it clear because people are gross, whatever I say about Rick and Morty is 100% PLATONIC AND FAMILIAL! Got that out of the way? Good. And awayyyyyyyyy we go!

Rick doesn't use unwanted physical touch on Morty to assert control unlike a certain abusive kitty cat *cough* Catra *cough* Catra literally forces Adora to dance with her in the princess prom dance that for some reason a lot of c//a stans sexualize (Despite them being TEENAGERS at the time) and we can clearly see that Adora is uncomfortable the whole time. Meanwhile with Rick and Morty at most Rick will touch Morty's shoulder, or awkwardly hug him back, but he never does it when it's unwanted, for example when Morty pulled away from their hug, Rick didn't attempt to hug him again, sure he looked concerned but that isn't a bad thing, he was just worried, anyways that ties into my next point!

Rick is actually protective of Morty. Now, Catra is only protective of Adora when the plot demands it! But Rick is consistently protective of Morty, this started all the way back in season 1 episode 4, where he gets rightfully pissed when he found out aliens were monitoring Morty naked to accurately simulate his genitalia, we can even see that he tried to attack them but was held back. And in the episode afterward, we can see him kill someone who attempted to assault Morty.

Rick never attempted to kill Morty. This is the lowest possible bar, BUT Rick has never once attempted to kill Morty, again, unlike a certain kitty cat who tried to kill her sister crush MULTIPLE TIMES! Rick actually does the exact opposite, we see in season 2 episode 1 "A Rickle In Time" that when push comes to shove, Rick is willing to sacrifice his life for Morty. While this doesn't make up for all the bad stuff he does to Morty, it's pretty irrefutable evidence that Rick does care about Morty. I'm not saying you have to sacrifice yourself for someone to show that you care, buttttt it's pretty good evidence to show that Rick does care. His literal only request is for Morty to "be good"

Next up! Morty canonically gets comforted by Rick's physical touch. This shows that Morty feels comfortable enough around Rick to get comforted whenever he so much as hugs him, we see this in "Unmortricken" and "Fear No Mort" (Abilet those were like the only times Rick and Morty hugged soooooo) Meanwhile with Adora, Catra's touch tends to make her panic more (Unless you count her being calmed by Catra's slap when she was having a panic attack but c'mon dude)

Rick never brags about how easy it is to manipulate Morty, while Rick does canonically manipulate Morty in canon, which is immensely fucked up, I am not defending Rick I promise you, he literally does the bare minimum and doesn't brag about how easily manipulated Morty is unlike Catra twice, I don't remember the exact episodes, but the lines are "You and Adora are perfect for each other I'll give you that, earnest, naive, ridiculously easy to manipulate..." "But she's (Adora's) slow, and easily manipulated."

Rick never finds happiness in Morty's pain, again another really, really low bar, buttttt Rick is happy because Morty is miserable, the closest I can think of is season 4 episode 3, but he wasn't happy because Morty was miserable, he was happy because his (fucked up) plan worked, meanwhile Catra is always smiling and make little quips when Adora is in literal agony due to her, she derives some kinda sick sadistic pleasure from it and just loves to feed on her insecurities during battle, which is...interesting.

Those were just some random ones I could think of from the top of my head, but I'm sure that there's more, so maybe you need to watch the shows before leaving anon hate <3

[booksandpaperss]

some ramble-y thoughts on men's social isolation and women's safety bc this has been on my mind for a bit

I do think it's really sad how men end up feeling so isolated bc of various social expectations as well as people being cruel, but as a fem presenting person I have to say that you can't just expect women and anyone who is fem presenting to just "start being nicer". ive seen a few posts on Tumblr essentially stating that but I have to reiterate it is about safety. I literally cannot afford to stop looking at men with caution and assumed violence until I get to know them really well bc if I stop that could genuinely cost me me life. its true that most men I see probably are not predators and im sure it hurts to be perceived that way, but I have no way of being able to tell who is and isn't going to harm me. I have to assume the worst because it is the only way I can stay safe.

it sucks, it really does, for all parties involved. I have so much sympathy for the men who are genuinely kind and would never hurt me that feel isolated, it isn't fair, and I myself certainly don't enjoy the *necessary* fear that the random guy im passing on the street could see me and decide to hurt me, but this is the reality of the world. there is no easy solution, but what certainly isn't a solution is expecting women to start being kinder to men they dont know because once again: that could genuinely cost someone their life.

The best solution right now I think is to continue to try to deconstruct misogyny and gender roles, and that takes time, patience, and understanding.

I have also seen the notion on here that men feeling isolated socially is misandry, but the reality is that misandry is simply not real on a systemic scale. men feeling isolated is a direct result of the patriarchy and a side affect of misogyny. a lot of things on this website that are perceived as misandry are either not real problems or they are but they're just the impacts of misogyny and the gender roles that come with it.

But it is very surreal to be walking alone at night, clutching my pepper spray and glaring whenever a man I don't know is near me, making sure to stay next to the street and make it obvious I know exactly where I'm going and still feeling the fear that it might not be enough and something horrible could happen to me anyway, only come back to Tumblr and see people saying misandry is just as prevalent as misogyny and women need to start considering how it feels for men to be looked at like they're predators. Touch grass seems like an applicable statement here.

oh and obligatory piss on the poor tumblr disclaimer: I know I am using binary terms so before any of you get on your high horse about it, I myself am non binary. I am not actually a woman, but I certainly look like one and therefore deal with misogyny. I fully understand that trans men and genderqueers of all kinds as well as even feminine cis men also fear for their life on the street so dont even think abt getting on my ass about that. oh and if any of you try to call this a terf post consider yourself blocked with a recommendation to get a refresh on what terf actually means instead of just throwing around the term when you see any post trying to talk about misogyny :D

final disclaimer bc I wanna cover all my bases due to Tumblr reading comprehension: im aware topics like this are very nuanced with lots of layers, please dont act like im obligated to cover all that in a random Tumblr post of all things, I cannot possibly cover everything nor am I obligated to. I simply wanted to remind ppl that actual lives are at risk and fem presenting people constantly and regularly fear for their life bc I feel like that gets left out a lot in conversations like this on here. <3

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

alright thoughts on tf classic? Or at least the classic teams roles in the comics?

i have literally no knowledge of tf classic outside of how they are in the tf2 comics

that said i love nothing more than to share my opinions so let me just refresh my memory of them real quick-

granny pyro fucking rules if theres one thing tf2 is good for its making fucking insane women<3<3

I really have no strong opinions on the rest of them honestly. The writing fascinates me, though. because when you take a close look at their actions, they really aren't all the different from how the team acts? like. ok. bear with me here while i put on my english major hat and go all character analysis on you

(for the sake of clarity, i'll just be using mercs to refer to the tf2 characters, also under the cut cause this got longg)

what is their role in the plot aside from being antagonists? they're hired guns doing their job, which is taking out the administrator and the mercs, until something better presents itself in the form of the australium based life support thing. At which point c!heavy decides to turn tail and go rogue and get the missing australium for himself

everything they do in the comics? killing and torturing for their own gain and pleasure? nothing out of the ordinary for the mercs honestly. C!heavy is the only one that they go out of their way to make him an asshole (more on him later). The main reason they come off as such villains compared to our mercs? they play the violence completely straight.

Whenever the classic team is shown, ALL of the jokes come from them being the straight men to the antics of the mercs. If they weren't paired so wonderfully to play off of the batshit moves the mercs make. C!pyro isn't even torturing solider for information after she gets what she wants, she's just doing it because she enjoys hurting people- meanwhile Jane wants her to torture him for information he actually has so he can prove that he won't tell her. Every interaction is like this! They're professionals who enjoy their jobs as guns for hire- same as the mercs except they don't tell jokes or get naked and covered in honey while they do it. Thats the only thing seperating how the teams act. the main exception being C!heavy

He is uniquely portrayed as an asshole. He's here for a quick, easy pay (he tells grey mann he doesn't understand world domination types, its too much work), he's extremely caught up in the gain (him instantly backstabbing grey mann to get the life extender for himself, and when he yells at medic about how much he's cost them in animal parts)

One scene in particular, however, really sets him up as the Bad Guy. When he hurts Archimedes. It's sandwiched inbetween two jokes (him getting mad at medic for reanimating sniper, and medic implying sniper has pigeon blood now) so it's maybe hard to miss, but the panel where he throws Archimedes into the ground is such a stark stylistic difference that it really just pushes home that this is something Important. the panel is pure black, with C!heavy and Archimedes in bright white. a spatter of blood shows the impact and damage of the action. It really shifts him into the role of scary villain. He's willing to hurt and kill this animal that did nothing to him. presumably because he's pissed at medic and he knows it will hurt him. Medic's reaction and obvious pain makes him a more serious threat than the other classic members, because even when c!pyro drilled holes into soliders teeth, solider didn't care. Everything else the classic team has done has been an inconvience at best (ok well, except killing sniper, but that is also done by c!heavy and treated the same as this example so-)

It's a really beautiful piece of story telling! It's a fantastic way of conveying that this guy is the big bad to the reader without even using words!

Oh and this is also why our mercs were able to win in the end btw, the classic team was prepared for a lot of shit but they could never expect the random bullshit the mercs pull on nearly constantly. They expected guns that shot bullets not ones with a "BANG" flag then getting punched in the dick

[insipid-drivel]

Hey, you. Yes, you. When was the last time you remembered to go pee? Now do me a favor on your way to the bathroom and stand on the very tips of your toes if you can, and then drop down with your full weight onto your heels.

Did it suddenly hurt somewhere in your back/abdomen on one or both sides? Congratulations! You may have a kidney infection! Get to urgent care/the ER ASAP because you need antibiotics before the infection spreads! It probably started out as a UTI or bladder infection you didn’t notice or that didn’t respond to medication the first time - superbugs are real, y’all.

No shame. Asymptomatic UTIs and bladder infections are surprisingly common and sometimes manifest with as little as an increased or decreased need to go to the bathroom. Some people get very ill with them because they have sensitivities to things like bath soap and are used to ignoring urinary pain. It happens all the time, is a major contributor to hospital/doctor bills, can be deadly, and about 40% of all AFAB people are destined to get a urinary infection of some kind in their lifetime. They’re less common in AMAB people (about 12% likelihood), but just as hazardous if left untreated. An untreated urinary infection can lead to Urosepsis, which isn’t nearly as fun as Eurovision. Urosepsis has a 30%-40% mortality rate.

For those interested, here’s how and why your piss pipes can turn dangerous: 

Kidney infections can be, and sometimes are, lethal. That UTI you had that resolved without antibiotics? Well, you got lucky, assuming you’re sure the initial infection cleared up on its own. Most kidney infections start out as urinary tract infections. It’s most usually caused by E. Coli, which is present on most surfaces, including other people’s skin. E. Coli is usually harmless unless it manages to infect, and if you notice that you get UTIs whenever you’re sexually active, a very common cause is a sensitivity to the bacteria natural to your partner’s body; you can reduce your chances of an infection by washing before sex and making sure you go pee as soon as you’re done to literally rinse out your urethra. Condoms and dental dams can also help depending upon your body chemistry, but not always. Properly using a bidet (they come in portable travel-size models now for like, $30, Americans) can also drastically help reduce your risk of an infection.

The problem is that the renal (pee) system is all connected by tubes and hoses that can be very easy for bacteria to climb. Here’s a very generic, non-gendered diagram:

(source)

Regardless of what you’ve got from a reproductive standpoint, that’s pretty much it! Same wiring and everything, save for that people who are AFAB aren’t typically born with prostates, which isn’t part of the renal system at all. People with short urethras (AFAB people, intersex, endocrine syndrome, etc) contract UTIS and bladder infections. AFAB or AFAB-similar people have a 40% likelihood of contracting a common UTI at least once in their lives. AMAB people only have about a 12% chance. The difference is so drastic because said AMAB people have pretty average external genitalia and therefore a much longer urethra than average for bacteria to try to survive colonizing. Drinking water and going to the bathroom regularly are highly effective at preventing a renal infection, because the bacteria literally has to climb its way from the urethra to the kidneys. Urinating helps to wash it out. Depending upon your immune system, it can take days or even weeks before the bacteria reaches your kidneys if that’s what’s going to happen.

Not only are kidney infections incredibly painful (There Will Be Blood), but those yellow nodules on top of the kidneys in that diagram I posted up there? Those are your adrenal glands. Where all of your adrenaline comes from. Those major veins and arteries also can give the bacteria unmitigated access to the bloodstream, which generally leads to sepsis, shock, and death. If your adrenal glands are infected, it can cause them to release dangerous amounts of adrenaline that can stress, damage, and even cause the heart to stop.

And no, cranberry juice and cranberry supplements will not cure you. If you have a full-blown infection, go to the doctor. You need a full course of antibiotics at the very least and probably urinary painkillers. AZO makes an over-the-counter brand in the US. It is non-addictive, temporarily stops the pain, but dyes your pee an electric orange color that will stain your underwear (fun fact: if you’re a swimmer or diver you can get a prescription for a version that turns your pee blue instead so nobody can see you pee in the water; my mom used it when she was a SCUBA diver). AZO is also responsible for making UTI home-test kits that you can buy on Amazon. The renal benefits of cranberries is largely a myth. The compound, which is good for a lot of other uses, is called D-Mannose, which kinda-sorta maybe can make it harder for bacteria to stick to the walls of your renal system and more easily flush out when you pee, but you do not want to play chicken with septic shock. It will kick your ass and you will die. If you’re experiencing urinary pain and/or a fever, get to the doctor.

[remcycl333]

Whenever people on YouTube talk about Affirm and persist I literally roll my eyes so hard.

They talk about how they learn from Neville and his stories/teachings but bruh every single one of his stories even the first about Barbados, was him ASSUMING and persisting. Anytime I see a law of assumption person say affirm and affirm, it convinces me that they read Neville but they didn't understand him/his teachings at all.

Neville was a states man, he literally learned it from the original states man Abdullah(if you don't get what I mean, he told Neville, "you ARE in Barbados," because Neville didn't feel like he was in Barbados. His entire teachings isn't dedicated to affirming and persisting like Scammy and other people like her want you to believe.

It pisses me off whenever someone attacks states people for being states people. That's the entirety of Neville's teachings, anything else like "affirm and persist," is not it.

Also I don't think people realize how easy it can be to affirm from a state of lack. Everything you say or think is either felt with relief/conviction or lack.

It's like crying about not having something and affirming you have it anyway, you don't need to say you don't have it while affirm because you damn well feel like you don't. You're not stupid and everytime I see someone saying affirming with lack doesn't exist, I'm like "do you think your mind/body is THAT stupid?????" You know yourself more than anything and I know damn well you know you're in a state of lack, NO MATTER how much these people wanna say stuff like "affirming from a state of lack doesn't exist," then why the hell don't you feel like you have what you want yet?? Then why don't you feel like you're completely fulfilled??

Whenever you have a thought it's common sense that a feeling comes with that thought, so whenever you say something like "I need money so badly," there's a feeling of yearning. A good example is you can affirm 10k times a day and then you think to yourself "do I need to affirm more? Should I affirm for 15k?," Or if you affirm 4 sentences less, there's a thought of "it's not gonna work now that I didn't affirm enough." Law of assumption isn't supposed to be tiring BRUH, it's supposed to be easy, and all of these people are making it so hard for themselves.

If you have a thought your immediate feeling/STATE should be relief or just a normal feeling of being. You already have what you want right?? What's the point of feeling anything but that, what's the point of constantly affirming if you are supposed to already have it???

-🥺💖

anyway Rem, hope you're doing well my love🥺🥺🥺 and anytime I wrote "you," or "people," I'm obviously not referring to you, I know you probably know that but just Incase, I don't want to sound rude🙃

exactly! sadly it's gotten to a point now where (on loatwt) we say that states is what neville taught and the people who preach affirm&persist are like "fuck neville why do u worship a dead white man" and it's like ???? first of all, incredibly disrespectful considering if neville didn't spend his life teaching the law and writing books and testing it out for himself, pretty much none of them would know about the law. and it's even richer knowing that the thing THEY preach (dominant thoughts manifest) was made up by a random white bitch who hasn't had one credible success story. and tbh most of them hate her, yet they still preach her word like it's gospel. it's so frustrating & hypocritical.

also when you said 'You're not stupid and everytime I see someone saying affirming with lack doesn't exist, I'm like "do you think your mind/body is THAT stupid?????'" !!!! exactly! it reminds me of this thing i tweeted once (i'm copying and pasting it lol):

"everyone goes around saying "your subconscious mind is SO smart it's YOU" etc and then turns around and says "how would my subconscious know if im affirming from lack or not"

....is your subconscious smart or stupid hurry up and pick one babes

i think it's cuz we say your subconscious is blind that people think it can't tell if you're affirming from lack, but that doesn't make any sense? your subconscious is blind which means it can't see your 3D. but your subconscious doesnt need eyes to know what state you're in.

anways! it's been a pleasure as always, 🥺💖! i always love seeing you in my inbox. i'm doing super well and i hope you're doing good as well!! <3

[kart0]

Tw eating disorder

I have barely eaten all day. I feel miserable. I feel so hungry I feel sick. I skipped dinner, and made my mom cry because I have stopped eating together with my family.

I am so fucking miserable and I am so. So ashamed.

I think I can finally admit I have anorexia. Even though I am not as skinny as a "typical" anorexic person would be, I think I fit into the characteristics and behaviours of one. I skip meals, I don't see myself as skinny even thought I have lost a ton of weight. I am anxious about my looks and how much I am eating. I stopped eating candy, of anything that actually brings me happiness and pleasure. I do not binge. I feel like I do not deserve to have food. I do not deserve the pleasure of eating. I only eat when I do good. I have to battle for food. I have to behave nicely, do well on university, finish my projects, finish my drawings, interact with my friends, be thoughtful, and caring. That's when I can eat. When something I do is good.

And all I want is to get skinnier and skinnier. The problem is that I did have a goal before. But now that I am actually getting there it's like my goal gets further away and I am always never quite there yet. Like I need to keep doing this until...until when actually ? There's no limit to what I'm doing. If I keep doing this I will mostly die.

And I don't know how to stop. And I am so, utterly scared. How do I compromise, eating, and losing weight. I know I should eat healthy and exercise and build muscle and get strong and I was doing better I was eating and going to the gym but then it's like it just snapped and I started eating less. And less. And it kept going and now I am skipping meals, barely having any food. And I am so fucking tired. Being hungry makes me pissed and sad and just bad. Of course, I feel sick, nauseated, headaches, I already have low blood pressure and I am anemic. But there's this sick mentality of feeling pride whenever I feel like that. It's like a sick reward, a proof that I am losing weight.

I can't keep doing this but I don't know how to ask for help because I am so embarrassed because it should be so fucking easy. LITERALLY JUST FUCKING EAT. EAT. JUST EAT YOU MORON. YOU STUPID BITCH. DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING DIE ??????????

I don't want to tell anybody. I want to deal with this on my own. Part of me thinks I can do it, I can recover and be healthy again. I already went through this once, and I did get better. I can do it again. But the other part of my brain keeps thinking I do not know what I'm doing. I will fail. And how I should keep doing this, even though it's very dangerous.

I am so hungry. I will try to eat something before bed. I hope I get better. I don't want to be like this anymore.