#and we saw some shows in the city and met up with friends last week

[twinkgami]

its crazy how much my life has improved recently from spending the money i make on things i want and need

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?

Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.

In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.

The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.

But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.

I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.

One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.

Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.

I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.

I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.

Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!

What are these acronyms?

[skrrts]

changeup (oneshot)

✧ gn!reader x jung wooyoung ✧ genre: non idol, slice of life, fluff, romance ✧ word count: 2,1k ✧ warnings: food/eating

You two have been dating for some time and while Wooyoung often surprises you with little dates, this one is obviously special. It's a beautiful Friday night at on one of the city's popular rooftop restaurants but tonight, he seems nervous. There is something Wooyoung wants to ask you, maybe not what most would expect but important to the future of your relationship.

a/n: since reader said yes in this drabble to go on this special date, here we go. it can be read as a standalone, just thought it could be cute for the start of the weekend

You felt a little shy when Wooyoung waited for you with a gift bag and a nervous expression. It hadn’t been difficult to tell there was something on his mind, likely very important but you did not want to add to the tension. After hours of picking an outfit, you figured out something going perfectly with his. The moment he saw you, his features brightened and he waved, leading to you waving back.

“Sorry, I’m a little late. The damn bus was late because of one of those stupid construction sites. Feels like the entered city is one big hole of them right now,” you sighed but your little pout made Wooyoung chuckle: “It is alright. I was smart enough this time to ensure I asked you to come prior to our booking, unlike our first date when I did not figure if we are late, they just would give our table to somebody else.”

The memory of that will always be a favorite, quite an eventful date but somehow, it showed you how this one was the partner you wanted to be with. With Wooyoung, life was never boring, there was always something about to happen but you could count on him, you knew that. Your friends and family had been a little uncertain when you started to date an athlete but won them over in no time. Wooyoung was playing for a second-league baseball team, dreaming of going big one day. 

His soft hands reached out for you, lovingly cupping your face and as your gazes locked, you could see that he was a little emotional but because his smile was sincere, you decided not to worry, simply closing your eyes as lips met in a tender kiss. This was always the best way to soothe your worries, and he gave you a gentle hug.

“I love you, ____” he whispered, placing a kiss on top of your hair before offering his hand to you: “the gift is for later. Shall we go?”

Tch, he wasn’t even giving you the time to say it back again, but you stuck out your tongue: “We better, I skipped lunch so I’m extra hungry tonight.” 

Your little joke made him laugh as he led you to the building which mostly hosted offices but on top was a small restaurant that had been trendy with others your age last year. While the hype had died down, you knew he still likely needed to make a reservation a few weeks ahead, at least to get a nice table at this hour.

Wooyoung would squeeze your hand and place little kisses on your cheek as you took the elevator up. It was impossible not to see how madly in love you were, often still acting like you hadn’t already dated for quite some time. With Wooyoung, every day always felt like something new.

“You look great today, by the way,” you whispered and he smiled: “Well, of course. You approved of the outfit.”

There was a quick wink before he led you to the waitress who took his name and showed you to the table right at the edge of the terrace. It was early Autumn and the nights still warm, offering an amazing view over the busy city with its endless lights.

“Beautiful,” you mumbled and Wooyoung smiled once the two of you settled down. “I will be sappy and say, I have seen something more stunning to look at,” he couldn’t stop himself from being like that, couldn’t he? You loved him for it.

“Of course, you have the best taste after all;” you teased him confidently and your boyfriend grinned: “I really do… now just do not count on it when it comes to the menu. Based on internet reviews, they all say we should go with number nine.” 

You picked up one of the menus and glanced over it: “Mh, I can see why. Let’s go with that then.” You decided the moment the waiter showed and Wooyoung was perfectly casual when ordering like he knew it was the best choice. To your surprise, he also asked for a bottle of wine, something unusual for the two of you.

“I take it, you still won’t tell me the reason what is all special about tonight?” you asked innocently and he laughed, his gaze wandering back to the city view. “Let’s first enjoy the food and once that is done, I will tell you. After all, I went ahead to ask your parents for their blessing and it would be embarrassing if I did not have it in me to ask you.”

You almost choked on your water when he mentioned your parents, the flush on your cheeks more than obvious: “My parents? Why would you ask them?” 

Wooyoung was blushing now too and he waved: “Ah it is not what you think! When we started dating seriously, we both agreed that weddings wouldn’t be a topic until we settled down other things. No rush there, after all, we have all the time!”

It had been a silly topic back then but you both brought it up, how you were open to marrying one day in the future but at the same time, it wasn’t something you really required to be happy. If it would fit into your life, it should happen naturally. So if it wasn’t this, what possibly was there to ask for permission?

Ah, Wooyoung always was full of surprises…

“Your order, please enjoy and do not hesitate to let me know, should you require anything else,” the waiter appeared so suddenly, you did not even notice him but hurried to make space on the table, smiling as the plates were put down and waited for the man to vanish. Wooyoung now was quite obviously busy with the meal in front of him. No surprise, he loved cooking and this looked really delicious.

“The photos really didn’t lie. I wonder if they would tell me the recipe,” he joked and took a bite, his face brightened as it seemed the taste lived up to the appearance and you really couldn’t disagree. At least, now you didn’t feel as bad about remembering the price tags next to them. Nodding, you sipped on your water and you took your time to enjoy every bite.

Ah you were awful, but you couldn’t stop yourself from being noisy: “So other than my parents, anyone else who knows about tonight’s mystery?”

Wooyoung seemed a little embarrassed, thinking about it before admitting: “Well, my family obviously, and Sannie… he was more or less the one who encouraged me to ask your parents first since it’s a big deal.”

Please, just what was going on? There was no denial, you were as bad as Wooyoung when it came to impatience and curiosity, you needed to know but your boyfriend would be stubborn, no doubt.

“That explains why San sent me all of those smiling emojis earlier. When I asked him what it was for, he said he is just happy for me. Don’t get me wrong, he always has been very supportive of us and just you know, me in general. I thought he meant because I am so close to graduation now but looks like it was about this,” you concluded with a laugh.

Wooyoung seemed surprised: “He did?! Urgh, that idiot promised he’d not do something like that.”

Wooyoung and San had such opposite personalities but the best friends matched perfectly in so many ways, it was no surprise they were as close. 

“Well, if he supports it and our parents, hm I doubt I’d not.” Maybe the question was too eager because he did not really manage to relax:

“Well, I hope so.” Wooyoung still smiled and finished the last few bites, relaxing back into the chair. 

“This was amazing, I see now why my parents liked to go out for dinner here and then, I always questioned it as a kid because my mom’s such a great cook but now I see it. Eating delicious food with the person you love the most.”

Finally, you leaned forward to reach for his hand, and without hesitation, your fingers entwined and you looked at each other.

“I love you, Woo. You know that, right? As much as you distract me from studying and support my silly decisions and have led me to do one or two crazy things. I am really happy with our relationship.” 

Finally, your boyfriend leaned in, also taking your second hand and he smiled fondly as he looked at how your hands played together: “I know and I promise you, that is exactly why we have this special date tonight. I want to show you just how much I admire you and, as childish as I can be, how serious all of this is for me.” 

Neither of you doubted any of this, it was more than obvious but sometimes, it was nice to confirm it, to hear it spoken out loudly for the mind to remember the heart was right.

“Alright, I do not want to torture you too much,” he began with a chuckle. The gift bag was pulled on the table and he very gently moved it towards you before reaching out for the bottle of wine, pouring two glasses but somehow, you felt he just did it because he wanted to keep his hands busy.

You opened the bag carefully and pulled out a diary. It was pretty, tied in black leather and with your name stitched on the cover. It was no doubt handmade, the smell of glue and fresh paper still very present. 

“Oh, this is beautiful…” you used to love journaling but stopped when you enrolled into college, free time just had been too spare but you often mentioned how you wished to pick it up again. 

On the first page, Wooyoung’s font had written: 'Because I picked the most amazing person, this is the place to write down the best chapters yet to come.'

It was silly but sweet. Your fingers played with the bookmark because you could feel that something was stuck in the middle of the otherwise empty book. You carefully placed it on the table to take the first of the envelops. As you opened it, you were surprised.

Really, it had been impossible to say just what Wooyoung had in mind that would require to ask for your parent’s permission. This was not something you figured but slowly, the puzzle came together.

It was an acceptable letter from a huge American baseball team, one Wooyoung always dreamt of and he was accepted to play for them for two seasons starting early next year. You knew this wasn’t about this because Wooyoung put too much focus on you, so your hand was shaking a little when you opened the second and found what your heart anticipated.

Two one-way tickets, one bearing your name. 

For a moment, there was silence, Wooyoung seemed trying to figure out what you were thinking or feeling and when he spoke, you could hear the fear in his voice.

“They approached me a while ago but for some time, it wasn’t certain, only last month. Then, I started to look into it and talked to our families… You see, I know what you say. This is my dream and I should go for it!  But ____, you see. Dreams come true, eventually but there is a time after that. I always knew what my dream was but I always wondered what would come after. Sports careers are short, what would I do next? Then I met you and I figured… that’s my life, how I want it to be. Dreams also can change but I want you in my life … I really want you to come with me. I know it’s just a few months after your graduation but…”

You placed everything carefully back onto the table, sighing as you moved over, pulling him and his chair back to sit down on his lap. His face was full of surprise as you curled your arms around his neck and kissed him.

It was true, this was right after graduation but the truth was, you had no real idea what exactly you wanted to do right after, no dream position waiting for you here. Of course, it would mean parting with your family and friends for a while but it would also mean an adventure together with Wooyoung.

As your lips parted, you rested your forehead against his and looked at each other. 

“Of course, I will come with you, Wooyoung. I love you and as I said, you make me do all of those crazy things.”

His eyes were big, like he had considered you would reject it but his embrace tightened around you and he sighed, closing his eyes.

“I promise, we will have a lot of time together and make sure you fill those pages with great stories.” 

People around you were whispering and staring but you both ignored them.

You cupped his chin and smiled, placing a kiss on top of his lips: “Good, let’s go and be wild together.”

[bet-on-me-13]

Immortal Cop Danny P.2

Part 1

So, we have seen my scenario where Danny is revealed as an Immortal Cop really late in the Timeline, like nearly the entire Batfamily has already been formed kinds of late.

But what about a world where Danny has been on the Force since Batman Year 1?

Officer/Detective Nightingale has been one of the best and most loyal members of the GCPD for well over 3 decades. He didn't hide his "Meta Ability" when he first joined the force, since Gotham hadn't been introduced to all of their Superpowered Rouges yet, and the attitude for Metas in Gotham was nowhere near as harsh as it would be in the future.

He was one of the Go-To Cops in the early days of the Batman, since he had proven to be trustworthy and most people felt comfortable talking to him. Most of the community respected him, although some saw his power of Immortality as unnatural or freakish.

Batman met Officer Danny on one of his earliest cases. Danny pushed him out of the way of a Bullet and saved his life, getting shot in the process.

Bruce will never forget when Danny reached into the hole on his side and pulled the bullet out with his fingers. He didn't even flinch.

Danny has also been one of Commissioner Gordon's best friends and closest confidants for years. He was even offered the job of Commissioner once due to his extensive experience on the Force, but refused since he knew Gotham would never accept a Meta Commissioner, or maybe because he believed that he wasn't the right fit for the job.

Dick remembers the time when Officer Nightingale found out about Robin's age. He will always think of Danny laying into Bruce for bringing in such a young kid as one of his fondest memories.

Gordon remembers being invited to dinner with Danny's mom, a nice if cryptic lady dressed in gothic clothes who thanked him for all the work he did for the city, and for keeping her streets as safe as possible. Apparently she did the same for Batman, who had gone to Danny's apartment for some information and left with a full belly and plenty of leftovers.

He was basically the best Cop you could ask for. Calm, kind, honest, understanding, and he genuinely seemed to be trying to help the people around him.

Barbra calls him Uncle Danny, and he was there to help her adjust when she lost use of her legs.

Commissioner Gordon thinks of Danny as his best Cop/Friend, unflappable and loyal to a fault.

Bruce thinks of him as one of his more trusted allies, on the same level as Commissioner Gordon even.

Robin called him "Cool Cop D". Later, he was one of the reasons Dick decided to become a Police Officer.

Hell, even Damian commended the man's resolve to help the City, which was considered a monumental feat at the time.

Which is why it was such a shock when Danny disappeared.

He just didn't show up for work one day. This in and of itself wasn't too out of the ordinary, but he usually called in to tell them he was gonna miss a day. They thought it was just because he was so anxious lately, jumping at the little things like a guy bumping into him or asking to leave room at the mention of Autopsies

Then he missed the next day. Not that bad, I mean he had been really stressed out recently. Maybe he just needed an extra day, to work off the stress? Nobody was really worried anything had happened to him, he was immortal after all, but they were still concerned.

Then he missed a third day. This was far more concerning. The last time this happened, Danny had been found passed out in his apartment because he hadn't slept in days and hadn't eaten in weeks (what's the point if he won't die either way?).

He had been put on medical leave for a month after that.

So one of the guys decided to visit his house, just to see if he needed some help.

They find the apartment empty. No evidence that he ever lived there. It was like the entire place had been scrubbed clean of anything that even hinted at his existence, and whoever had done it obviously wanted to cover their tracks.

So, an investigation is launched.

And almost instantly, the Feds take the Case from the GCPD and declare Danny as dead a week later.

Seems they forgot to take a look at his Resume...

So Gordon takes this to Bats, who immediately starts investigating the Feds in White who showed up to steal the case.

...

Tag List:

@overtherose @kyrianclawraith @ghostreblogging @the-autistic-spider @just-rant-and-write-fic-idea

[maplleaf]

a/n: I can't reply bc this is a side blog. tumblr L 👎also srry for being late been busy with irl things ajeihdjd.

GEPARD LANDAU

Meeting new people and creating bonds is like second nature for the crew of the Astral Express. As a part of that family, it's hereby natural for you to do the same. Friends, or even enemies, are common to make; lovers are rare though. When Himeko suggested the youngsters of the Express should go out and bond, she didn't think it'll end up in romance.

Neither you and Gepard fell at first sight, it was closer to falling at first fight, or second to be even more specific. You definitely caught his eye when taking a small tour of Belobog. March 7th is the walking ball of energy; Dan Heng is smart and composed, the grey-haired trailblazer is... trash loving; and to him, you were like the older sibling who keeps everyone in check.

In addition, you seemed interested in his explanation of Belobog's history, the sentence being supported by your volunteer work for Belobog's museum a couple weeks after.

The next time you two met, you threw hands with him. He fought and believed in Cocolia's words, even fought against his sister for it. Yet in the end, he was knocked some sense into and was defeated.

When he saw you fight, something seemed to click like a lightswitch in him. Even if he was blocking you to your goals, you didn't want to hurt him. It end up hurting like hell, yeah, but it didn't leave any marks or cause even worse injuries.

He could see that you held back, and something about that weighed in maybe he was in the wrong. How could someone as gentle as this, be inclined to destroy the last city that exist?

After that, it was like a snowball falling from the top of a mountain until he's hit with the realization that yes; Gepard Laundau is falling for you. The Express didn't leave for awhile, and he finds himself struggling to leave your side in that time. It took some time, but he was eventually invited aboard the Astral Express.

_____

"Pretty, isn't it?"

Gepard smiled in agreement at your words. He gazed into the planet he's been living on, or commonly called Jarilo-IV. Even with the eternal winter decimating the land, it was still a magnificent view.

"Since the root of the eternal winter is solved, Belobog's temperature should be rising," you tried to comfort him, afraid he may be disappointed in the view.

Gepard's blue eyes laid on you. If he were to tell himself from the past that he would fall in love with an alien who helped solve the eternal winter's crisis, his past self wouldn't even believe it for a second.

"...the view is the planet y'know, not me," you teased him, letting out a few light laughter. Gepard's face flushed as he was caught staring, "sorry. You just looked very pretty," he blurted out, now making both of your faces red.

After bracing yourself not to stutter, you broke the silence. "...In any case, even if the Express leave we can still talk to eachother," you told the blonde whilst showing your smartphone. Belobog's phones aren't as advanced as the ones sold by the IPC, but it can still connect and chat with the messenger app of the newer designs. "Here, I'll give you my number."

Gepard gave you his device gladly, with red still dusting over his cheeks.

... away from both of your sight, a wild March 7th watches, taking a picture of you two with her camera. "Stalker Marxh 7th strikes again," the grey haired trailblazer told her and lightheartedly rolling their eyes.

"C'mon, it's cute!" she exclaimed, taking another picture.

The whole crew watched as Gepard chased after your affection similar to a puppy; a comparison Himeko had made. As long as you're happy, the Express Family is happy. By looking at your reactions to his attempts at courting, it seems you were interested in him as well.

"Young love, adorable isn't it, Welt?" Himeko said whilst drinking her cup of coffee. You just left for Belobog to see the blonde captain once more.

Welt nodded to Himeko as he sat on the couch beside her, his eyes focused on the IPC's news broadcasted on their site. "They should make it official quick, we're leaving for another planet in a few more days," he advised, receiving a chuckle from Himeko.

"Has time really passed that quickly?" the redhead smiled.

When the Express visited the Xianzhou Luofu after receiving a tip from Kafka, for some of them it was their first time; Not you though. Whilst you weren't born in the Xianzhou Luofu, you visited the large ship a couple times before.

That day, the Express Family groupchat is blessed with the picture sent by you. Your hands intertwined with Gepard's. The group chat, mainly March 7th, exploded.

In your first visit, you were fortunate enough to meet the dozing general. At the time, you didn't even know he was the general of the cloud knights. For you, he was the attractive man who somehow has birds in his hair.

By that, you meant literally. First time you saw him, you saw a bird crawl into his hair like a nest and you blurt out in front of him; "Are you a bird collector?"

Jing Yuan saw you with a surprised yet pleased smile, after hundreds of years of living; he had never been greeted like that before. "It likes to stay there," Jing Yuan chuckled, curious about your behaviour.

"Are you perhaps a visitor?"

You nodded as a response to him. "My friend was supposed to show me around, but I sorta got lost," you laughed sheepishly. "But fuck it! An adventure is an adventure."

Frankly, your carefree nature felt like fresh air compared to the stiff nature that he's always sorrounded by due to his work. To talk freely with someone who doesn't care about status, when your conversation was over; he simply thought it was a pleasant time.

You exchanged numbers right after, and he never saw you again. At least, in person.

When Jing Yuan isn't busy with work or resting, he wouldn't mind having an interesting conversation with you in his pass time. Over time, he starts to develop a small interest in you beyond friendship. What's fascinating is that you never found out what his title is; something that could be a miracle, or your lack of knowledge of the Xianzhou Luofu.... either way, he doesn't mind it.

While you two doesn't talk everyday, he gets a general idea of how you're doing, and your adventures as a Nameless. He doesn't have any strong opinions regarding the Astral Express and its passengers, but the stories that you told brought a smile to his face each time he reads it.

So when he heard about the Express' sudden visit to Xianzhou Luofu, the smile he usually has increased tenfold. The face he saw you had when his hologram appeared was absolutely priceless!

He sees you trying to balance professionalism in front of Yukong whilst clearly wanting to speak freely to him. Your face clearly holding yourself from being angry at the general but still wanting to be polite in front of Yukong.

"General?"

You crossed your arm followed by an exasperated sigh. "I should've guessed it... your outfit screams 'i am a military person'..." Jing Yuan laughed at your reaction.

"You never asked if I'm a general or not," he retorted, causing you to swing your hand through his hologram.

"How was i supposed to know?!"

Your reaction brought a smile to his face, an expression that your companions at the Express (and Yukong) noted. Welt watched as his fellow passenger of the Astral Express talked with the highly esteemed general like an old friend. He glanced to the person beside him before sighing;

"March, put your camera down."

The starskiff haven stopped at the dock as Jing Yuan emerged from the transportation. The crisis that the Xianzhou Luofu experienced is finally over as life continued on as usual. For Jing Yuan, he's forced to go through much more paperwork than before, but as long as the Xianzhou Luofu is safe, he can make a few sacrifices.

As walked to the central area, he spots a familiar figure looking over to the clouds. The laziness tiredness that's caused by his recent workload seems to dissappear as he approached the person.

"A spectacular view, isn't it?" Jing Yuan chuckled, talking loud enough for you to hear. Your gaze didn't move from the clouds, as his voice is far too recognizable.

"It is... I might come here again if I can get a vacation day from Trailblazing," you could feel Jing Yuan walking closer to you. Your eyes finally moved to him, "let me guess, your 'secret' job gave you mountains of work to do."

Jing Yuan lets out a few light laughs, leaning against the railing as well. "If you know about it, then it's not a secret anymore," he answered. "But yes, they did."

You sighed, stretching your back before leaning forward to view the majestic view once more. "Too bad~ I guess we can't talk to eachother as often anymore, then."

The white haired general took it as a challenge, raising his eyebrow with a smirk. "How are you so confident? I may end up disturbing you at every hour of the day to prove it wrong."

You faked yourself shuddering at the thought, "no thanks... I'd rather join the anti-matter legion if that's the case."

A curiosity then begin to pollute your mind, begging for an answer. "Why did you hide it from me, the general thing?"

Jing Yuan had to thought of an answer before properly saying it. He didn't want misunderstandings after all. "The people I meet will always be unique and different due to this job, and yet their attitude towards me would be similair; with the exception of a few."

"...you were simply different, a breath of fresh air." He chuckled, "My name is well-known around the Xianzhou Luofu and even beyond; to meet and be close with someone who would strive away from the formalities that I've grown accustomed to, I didn't want it to change."

"All living beings with basic thoughts would change their behavior after knowing something new about someone, if you knew about my occupation and title; I feared there might be a change in behavior," he confessed, knowing you won't react negatively. Jing Yuan felt safe enough to confide in you with his occasional day-to-day life frustrations; this seems like the same to him.

You listened closely to his words, feeling your heart ache in glee. Even if he weren't a general, you would feel the same appreciation for him for opening up to you.

"And do I have any changed behaviors now?" you asked, raising an eyebrow wanting to tease him.

Jing Yuan chuckled, "perhaps... you've became slightly more bold," he teased, receiving a smack to his back from you for payback.

The reaction caused you two to laugh. A comforting silence overcame the general and the Nameless. Quietness began to fill your ears.

Your hand slowly went to Jing Yuan's, trailing until your hand is on top of his. Despite you taking the first initiatives, he was the one who interlocked your fingers first; you following not long after.

Words doesn't need to be spoken, as silence seems so be stronger than any words could've been.

"I meant it! Dan Heng, you've lived here before right. It's clear there's some kind of spark in the general's expression!"

"And I've never seen them interact before, I don't have any references to make an assumption."

As the two bickered, the grey haired trailblazer held up the foto Tingyun gave them. "It's on a discount~ since you're a friend of the two," she winked, giving them a QR code for the payment.

The picture is of Jing Yuan holding hands with a fellow Nameless and Astral Express crew. Both of them looking at the clouds of the Xianzhou Luofu. It didn't show their faces, only their backs; and yet from where the photo was taken; it's clear as day that they're holding hands.

Tha Trailblazer sighed, "...this feels exploitative," they sighed but still scanning the QR code, paying for the single picture.

"It's fine, since you're a friend it wouldn't be a problem" Tingyun reassured the trailblazer, seeing the payment confirmation on her device. "Thank you for purchasing, loyal customer!"

March 7th heard Tingyun talking to the Trailblazer, her focus drifted towards them. She gave a hand gesture beckoning them to come closer to her, "did you buy Jing Yuan photos? He would probably be fine if you started taking pictures for free after we saved the Luofu!"

"Techniqally...yes?" The Trailblazer answered, showing their two friends the picture. Dan Heng raised his eyebrow, rarely being physically surprised, whilst March 7th excitedly took a picture of the picture.

"No way?! Is this real?" March 7th exclaimed, tapping on the Trailblazer's shoulder excitedly, "quick quick, text (y/n) about it."

Hearing that, the Trailblazer opened up their chat with the person in question. They sent the picture with the question; "whats this??"

You seemed to reply in an instant, ":)"

March 7th looked over to the Trailblazer's shoulder, "let me see..." she's caught dumbfounded at the weird and cryptic answer. "Hey, what's this kind of answer?! Send another one."

The Trailblazer nodded at her request, sending the most clear cut, gramatically correct, tear-bringing sentence;

"Answer plz."

They got left on read.

[ragingbookdragon]

The sight is typically considered a blessing. To see what the one your soul is tied to sees? There were some amazing stories in the history books. Yet, they rarely covered the ones where your sight was met with pain, grief, and sorrow. Yours was. Colored red like your soulmate’s father’s hands, pulling away from the face of an obvious child who long ago learned how not to cry in front of the man. The sight began to give you nightmares. Whatever your soulmate did for a living, he was met with the hands of evil. Not once in his life did he ever seemingly know peace.

You wondered if you would ever see a moment of happiness. Sometimes, there was a semblance of calm. Usually, it was moments before whatever storm he dove headfirst into, but your hearts aligned, beating in one, and you knew he felt a solace in violence.

As the years grew, so did the violence, however, you saw fewer moments of hell through his eyes. It gave you some moment of relief to know he wasn’t in the hands of some evil anymore. He spent a lot of time looking up at the stars though. And in the dark. Alone. Quiet. He didn’t speak much. You learned he was a man who had little to say and much more to do. He stopped showing gruesomeness. His sight became so much softer for you. Laughter peeling from his friends, words on pages, every day, mundane life. You knew he was a man who underneath all his obvious solemnity, was simply a man who longed for a normal life. You wondered if things would’ve been different had you met as children.

Some never met their soulmates. Some spent a lifetime searching for a love that never found them. Yours seemed to be blessed. Somehow the same city had come into view. The same landmarks. The same sky. You knew where he was. You wondered if he knew where you were.

***

It happened in the hall on base. Sleep hadn’t come to you the night before and you were dragging yourself back to your quarters after training. The new squad you were being conditioned for was ruthless. Survival of the fittest, the strongest, the mentally tough. Somehow, you’d managed to last longer than most did in the first five weeks. Twelve more to go, and your battalion had dropped from fifty recruits to twenty-three; you wondered who was going to stand in the end and be the newest members of the one-four-one.

It's when you blinked, overcome by the familiar fuzzy sensation in your vision, and saw your own head tipped down, walking towards yourself. Your head snapped up, eyes wide as you met the steely gaze of your Lieutenant; “Ghost,” they called him, and you had seen firsthand why. No words left your flapping mouth, all traces of weariness gone as you two stared at each other, one in shock, the other calm.

“It’s…it’s you.” It sounded so fucking cliché to say it, but what else could you say?

All the sudden you remembered how cold and distant this man acted to almost everyone, and you readied yourself for some type of negative words, damning you and your bond with him, anything, and yet, he simply guided you into an empty conference room and laid a warm hand against your cheek; you never knew such hands could be so gentle.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said. You knew what it meant; he was sorry for all the things you had to see for the last thirty years. The pain, the torture, the grief, the brokenness.

Soldiers weren’t supposed to cry, but you couldn’t help the tears welling in your eyes as you shut yours and leaned into his hand; his thumb brushed the tears dripping down from your eye.

“I never would’ve wished my sight on you. On anyone.” He sounded so defeated, not elated like most were when they met their other half. “I’m sorry you’ve only ever seen fighting in my eyes.”

You shook your head and opened your eyes, taking in the masked man before you. “I tried to show you love through mine all these years so we would both be loved enough. I’m sorry I didn’t do more to save you from your fights.”

His eyes showed a softness, maybe he was smiling underneath his mask; his hand left your cheek, arm wrapping around your neck as he gently pulled you into him. “S’alright love,” he murmured. “I’m glad you never had to see my fights in person. Through my eyes was more than damaging.”

You pull back enough to look up at him. “Was the sight in mine…?”

“It was enough,” he said, and met your gaze. “It’s…always, been enough for me.” He sighed. “I don’t know if I’m good enough for you though. You’ve seen my life. You know it all.”

“I do.”

“I don’t know if you’ll be happy. With…with me.”

You feel a sense of longing in his voice, but at the same time, you know he’s offering you an out. Giving you the chance to walk away. You don’t take it.

“I’ve spent my entire life seeing yours, Lieutenant. I want to see it together now.” You cut him off before he can even say it. “I’m prepared for wherever this life takes us. I’ve always been there for you, and you for me. I won’t change it now. I’ll see it until the end of our days.”

You see yourself now, there’s a relief flooding your veins from his sight. For once in his life, you now know, that this broken man, has met a moment of peace.

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

chapter 1.

Note: a brand new fic no one asked for :)

Warnings: none I can think of, we're just getting started here, it's all fluff ;)

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: Sihtric, the bass player of your favourite band, suddenly remembers you when you meet again after 7 years.

wordcount: 4,5k

Masterlist

'Wait! Have we met before?'

Seven Kings, one of the most popular alternative rock bands of the last few years, were playing a show in your hometown, which was actually also the band's hometown, but you knew all members had moved away after their break through. When you saw the tour announcement, which only had eight dates, you immediately called your best friend, Gisela, and you were hysterically screaming on the phone. When she finally understood what you were saying, she screamed just as hard. You both have been a fan since the very start of the band's career, seeing them at their very first free show in your city at a pub. And after that, you both went to every show near you, while the band became more popular and the venues bigger. 

The band hadn't toured for a whole year and a half, as they had been recording new music and dealt with some personal issues back home. Sihtric, the bass player and your favourite member, went through a divorce last year, while Osferth, their guitarist, made headlines when word came out he was to become a father; of two different children, by two different ladies. It always baffled you how Osferth seemed so shy, yet he was a real ladies killer. Their other members, Finan, the drummer, and Uhtred, the singer/guitarist and Gisela's favourite member, seemed to have no struggles going on. And you were already excited when they announced their new album, a few weeks before the tour announcement dropped.

You and Gisela immediately stressed over the ticket sale. As the band had gotten more popular, the ticket sales became more horrifying. However, you couldn't complain, you always managed to get tickets, but it was always a bit of a punch in the gut you could never see your favourite band up close again. The newer fans randomly started to camp out for shows a few years ago, two days before the actual show sometimes, and you and Gisela drew the line there. You had no problem with getting to the venue early in the morning and queueing, but sleeping outside? For a show? Absolutely not. And so you both bitterly accepted your front row days were over. 

Your most prized possessions are the photos you have with all the members, when you met them for the first and last time, seven years ago, when they opened up for a bigger band. You got to meet Seven Kings at their merch table, after the show. They had all been so lovely, which was a big reason why you kept supporting them. You pretty much grew up with them, as you were around the same age, and their music had helped you through various heartbreaks. But your heart was also somewhat broken when word got out that Sihtric got married, years ago. You and Gisela always joked how you belonged with Sihtric, and how she belonged with Uhtred. But then Sihtric got married, and you felt crushed for a day or two, but then life went on. It's not like you ever had a chance with the guy anyway. Uhtred was forever single, always whoring around with the groupies, as was Finan, and well… Osferth definitely too. Gisela said she'd still marry Uhtred if she could, and you couldn't blame her. 

When the news broke last year that Sihtric was single again, Gisela blew up your phone with texts. You both chuckled at your delusions of marrying your favourite pretty boys, but never took it seriously, as they were famous, and truthfully, you barely knew anything about them.

On the day of the ticket sale you managed to score floor tickets, and you and Gisela were ecstatic. The show was already in a few months, and the album would be released in a few weeks. You both counted down the days and, when the album dropped, you and Gisela had a sleepover, listening to the record all night while desperately gushing over how good "your boys" looked in that new video, even though you both knew it was shot a while ago, as Finan's hair was short in the video, and you knew it was longer now.

'Did you hear you can win meet and greet tickets?' you suddenly asked.

'For real?' Gisela gasped, 'how?'

'All you have to do is enter your email address on their website, and a few winners get picked at random for each show.'

'Oh my god!' Gisela squealed, 'can you imagine?! We both have to enter!'

And so you both entered the competition. You knew chances were slim, their fanbase was huge, and many fans travelled to multiple shows, so they would try for every show they'd go to. You could only afford to go to one show, the one in your city, which was also the first show of the tour. You kept thinking of trying to get tickets for the last show of the tour, which was two weeks after your show, in a city which was only an hour away from you, but you never got them.

The concert was in two days. You and Gisela were already going crazy with excitement, and when you suddenly received an email from their record label, saying you were one of the meet and greet winners, you were sure your entire city could hear you and Gisela scream.

'Oh my god, what do I wear?' you panicked.

'I need to buy new clothes!' Gisela cried.

'I have to dye my hair! Look at these roots!' you gasped as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You and Gisela went shopping the day before the show, and you fixed up each other's hair, hoping you'd both look a little presentable among the other fans who had won. 

'I wonder how many others there will be,' Gisela dreamed the night before the show, as she stared at her phone, looking at pictures of Uhtred, 'and I wonder what the guys will be wearing!'

'I'm so afraid it will be so rushed,' you pouted, scrolling through Sihtric's instagram, 'and me too, I can't wait to see their new look- oh my god!' you suddenly shouted.

'What?' Gisela jumped up.

'Sihtric just posted a selfie on his story!' you squealed, 'look! Oh my god, he has long hair now! Oh god, that smile!' you cried.

'Oh god,' Gisela snorted, knowing you were a sucker for tall, lean guys with shoulder length hair, 'you won't survive tomorrow.'

Luckily for you, Gisela had the same meltdown when Uhtred posted a new selfie too, revealing his new look as well, and you thought Gisela was about to faint. You both 'awww'ed' at Osferth and Finan's reveals, them always being cute and handsome, and after that, you desperately tried to get some sleep, as tomorrow was the day.

'Is my hair okay?' you asked nervously, standing in front of the venue.

'Yeah, yeah, you look good,' Gisela said, 'mine?'

'You're always pretty, shut up,' you scowled.

You looked down at your outfit; black boots, black skinny jeans, and a comfy shirt of Seven Kings, which was actually their very first tour shirt, which you had always been very careful with. The shirt still fitted perfectly, but you did cut off the sleeves years ago, making it a sleeveless top. You anxiously looked around, confused, as there were only a handful of other fans who also won, and then you all figured there were no more than five winners, each allowed to bring a friend, so it truly was an exclusive thing. Gisela kept pulling at her little black dress. She heard that Uhtred apparently likes ladies in short dresses, so she went for it. You actually had no idea what type of girl Sihtric was into, as he was rather private and quiet in interviews. And his instagram page mainly had professional photos of him, taken during live shows or for promo, and if it wasn't that, it was a photo of another new bass guitar he got his tattooed hands on.

You all froze when suddenly a door opened, and your tickets got checked. Terrified that something was wrong with your ticket, your trembling hands showed the venue employee your papers. You all got cleared, ushered inside, and were told to wait in a comfortable lounge room.

'Okay,' Ragnar, the band's manager, said as he walked in the door, 'first of all, congratulations,' he smiled, and you all cheered quietly.

'The band will come out in a moment,' he said, 'and please… just… behave,' Ragnar sighed, 'no pushing or pulling, there is no need, there's only ten of you and you guys have almost an hour here with them, if you all behave that is,' Ragnar said sternly. 'Also,' he continued, 'no asking for kisses and there will be no boob signatures if you are underage,' he glanced quickly at a few girls who were absolutely no older than 16.

You and Gisela gave each other a sly smile, but you both felt you were too old for that kind of behaviour, so you wouldn't ask for anything like that anyway.

'Before you take your selfies with the guys, we ask you to just chill out and chat, get some albums signed and all that, the more relaxed you are, the better your pictures will be, okay?' Ragnar chuckled, 'those boys are all ugly anyway, so I don't even know why you are all here,' he snorted and left the room.

The younger girls gasped while you and Gisela laughed at the manager's sneer. Everyone adjusted their outfits before you all perked up at the sound of Finan's laughter closing in. And there they were. Finan got in the room first, grinning, wearing a sleeveless black shirt with denim jeans and sneakers. Osferth followed, in his white fishnet top, black jeans and leather boots. You heard Gisela exhale sharply next to you when Uhtred appeared, with a hint of eyeliner, a leather jacket with no shirt underneath, leather jeans and black boots. You looked at Gisela, who was blushing at the sight of her favourite, and you snorted. But when you looked back up, you saw Sihtric, his hair loose and wild, wearing a black leather dungarees with a black mesh shirt underneath, his dungarees tucked in his black Doctor Martens. Your heart skipped about five beats when you locked eyes with his mismatched pair for a second.

'Oh my god,' you breathed softly, grabbing Gisela's hand. 

Then Ragnar walked in again and frowned at all of you, frozen on the sofas. 'Well, what are you waiting for?' he chuckled, 'they don't bite!'

'Maybe we do,' Finan grinned.

Then you all jumped up and, as expected, most girls ran over to Osferth and Uhtred, while Finan earned some company too. Because Sihtric was always the quiet one, he took a slight step back from the others, which is why some of the other hesitant fans didn't dare walk up to him, and turned to the other members. But this was your chance, you thought, so you went for it, while Gisela already left your side and stood next to Uhtred.

You took a deep breath and walked up to the handsome, slightly scarred Dane, who grabbed himself a bottle of water and sat up on a table, keeping to himself. When his eyes met yours again as you approached him, a sweet smile appeared on his face and he leaned back.

'Hello,' he simply said, with that soft, low voice you love so much, and he took a sip of water.

'H-hi,' you smiled, trying your best to not show your nerves, 'how are you doing?'

'Nervous,' Sihtric confessed with a chuckle, then tilted his head, 'and how are you, lady?'

'Nervous,' you laughed softly, which earned you another sweet smile from Sihtric.

'Surely not because of me, I hope?' Sihtric asked as he sat up, quickly looking you up and down with a sly smile.

'Maybe,' you half joked, feeling your face heat up when his eyes darted over you.

'Ah, don't be nervous for me,' Sihtric smiled and squinted his eyes a little, 'I like your shirt. Is it an original?' he asked and leaned in, his fingers brushing your shoulder as he felt the fabric.

'It is,' you smiled, 'I got it at the actual tour back then.'

'No way,' Sihtric said with big eyes and let go of your shirt, 'you stuck around all that time?'

'Even longer,' you giggled shyly, 'I first saw you guys at that free show here in the city, at the Irish pub.'

'At Clancy's?' Sihtric frowned, 'damn.'

'Yeah, but I had to leave early that evening,' you said, 'and I got this shirt when you opened up for that other band, you guys were at the merch-'

'Wait! Have we met before?' he gasped softly.

'Eh, actually, yeah,' you felt your cheeks heat up again and took out your phone, showing him the seven year old selfie.

'Gods!' Sihtric stared at your screen. He took your hand in his while you held your phone up to him, to get a better look. 'Yeah… I remember that night, I also remember you now.'

'What? No way,' you looked down at your feet.

'Yeah, yeah,' Sihtric said as he let go of your hand, 'you were the girl who told me you liked the metal chain I use as a bass guitar strap,' he smiled, 'because it reminded you of Peter Steele.'

'Oh my god,' you snorted, 'yeah, that was me. And you told me you stole the idea-' 

'From Peter Steele,' Sihtric laughed, 'because I am the most unoriginal bastard.'

You both laughed at the memory, and suddenly Sihtric held his arms open to you. 'Come here, bring it in,' he smiled, 'you deserve a hug for still putting up with our music.'

You allowed Sihtric to pull you in, wrapping his arms around you, and he lightly stroked your back with his big, warm hands as you were pressed against his muscular chest. You could die peacefully now, you thought. You tried to pull back, but Sihtric held on a little longer before he let go, licking his lips with a soft smile when he looked at you again.

'You been to all our tours ever since?' he asked.

'Yeah, but more and more in the back of the venue, as you guys became more popular. I refuse to camp out for a good spot.'

'Ah,' Sihtric clicked his tongue, 'yeah, fandom behaviour got, eh, quite intense the last few years. People camp out, some even figure out our hotels, it's crazy,' he said, 'that's why I'm not that active on social media. You post one thing and suddenly a shit ton of people find out where you are.'

'Sorry to hear that,' you gave him a compassionate look, 'me and my friend also took a step back from the fanbase because of that,' you looked a little sad, 'people have no limits anymore these days. It's weird as shit.'

'Truly,' Sihtric nodded, 'but good to see we still got some decently behaving people who like us,' he winked and poked your shoulder.

'Oh, thanks,' you smiled shyly.

'So, can I sign anything for you or…?'

'Ehh, my ticket?' you smiled sheepishly, 'I forgot to bring my album.'

'You did not,' Sihtric snorted, 'really?'

You gave him a shy nod and buried your face in your hands, to which Sihtric laughed.

'Okay, hold on,' Sihtric smiled and got off the table, towering over you as he put his feet on the ground, and his fingers brushed over your arm, 'come,' he said, 'I'll get you another one.'

You hesitantly moved your feet towards the door Sihtric held open for you.

'But… I don't want to get in trouble,' you looked back at Ragnar, who was on his phone, 'I can just wait here?'

Trouble?' Sihtric shook his head with a smile, 'you won't get in any trouble, come,' he beckoned you over.

He didn't have to ask you again. You followed Sihtric through the empty hallway, to their merch stand, where he opened a few boxes.

'You had a cd or a vinyl?'

'Cd,' you said, 'the coloured vinyl was a little too pricey,' you blurted out by accident, not meaning to fish for anything or come off rude.

'I agree,' Sihtric sighed and looked up at you, 'we told the label to cut down that price. We don't even need that income anymore, to be honest,' he quickly grimaced, 'sorry, don't mean to boast or anything. But yeah, the record looks sick, but that price tag is ridiculous.'

'I agree,' you scoffed lightly, 'but, well, it is what it is.'

'Mhm,' Sihtric hummed as he grabbed a vinyl, 'it is what it is,' he smiled and got up again, 'what's your name, love?' he asked as he grabbed a silver marker out of a drawer and ripped the plastic off the vinyl cover.

You told him your name and stared at the vinyl, confused, then you suddenly realised Sihtric was writing your name on the record.

'W-wait,' you chuckled nervously, 'I… I can't afford that-'

'Shush,' Sihtric hushed sweetly and winked at you, 'I'm giving it to you, so it's a gift,' he shrugged and continued to scribble on the cover.

'Oh… o-okay,' you felt yourself blushing again, 'thank you.'

Sihtric smiled and silently nodded his head while looking down at the record, accepting your thanks. He closed the marker again and flung it in the drawer, then leaned in on the merch table, opposite of you, staring into your eyes with a soft smile.

'Can I get you anything else, pretty lady?' he asked, carefully pushing the vinyl your way.

'N-no,' you said with big eyes.

'Hm, what's your size?'

'No,' you chuckled, 'I… I will not steal any more merchandise.'

'You're not stealing any merch,' Sihtric laughed, 'tell me your shirt size,' he bit down on his lip.

'I will not,' you protested while butterflies marched through your stomach, because of Sihtric's playful voice and smile.

He suddenly made his way around the merch table and, before you realised what happened, you felt his rough fingers touching your neck, as he took the collar of your shirt and looked at the label.

'Got you,' Sihtric whispered in your ear before he hopped back to the merchandise. 

He pulled out a sweater and two shirts in your size and pushed them in your hands, along with the signed vinyl.

'Sihtric, I-'

'Let's go, lady,' Sihtric chuckled as he looked around. He placed his hand on your lower back, guiding you with him, 'if anyone asks,' he looked at the pile of merch in your arms, 'you already had it. It's just our secret as to how you got it,' he winked, opened the door for you, and you stepped back into the lounge room.

Luckily, everyone else had been so occupied, no one even noticed that you and Sihtric had left the room for quite a few minutes.

'Thank you,' you said as Sihtric sat back on the table again, and he took another sip of his water.

'For what?' he grinned, then held his water bottle out to you, 'sip?'

Sharing a drink? With the man of your dreams? You'd be foolish if you didn't.

'Eh, sure,' you smiled and took the bottle out of his hand, taking a small sip.

You handed it back to Sihtric, who took another few sips before he closed the half empty bottle again, and handed it back to you.

'Keep it,' he smiled, 'so, you want a new photo? Now that we're both older?'

'Of course,' you said, taking out your phone again, fumbling as your arms were overloaded with everything Sihtric had given you.

Sihtric chuckled and grabbed your phone when he saw your struggle. 'Put the stuff on the table, love,' he smiled and then pulled you close, his arm around your neck, leaning heavily against you, and he flashed a sly smile as he snapped a few photos.

'Those good?' he asked, swiping through the selfies, keeping his arm around you.

'Yeah,' you smiled, feeling lightheaded at how close you were. You could even smell his cologne, which had hints of mint and cedarwood. You were absolutely smitten.

Sihtric handed you your phone and took a step back, his hand still on your shoulder, but before either of you could say something, another fan finally walked up to Sihtric. You noticed her and you stepped away, but Sihtric's eyes lingered on you before he looked at the other lady, and he somewhat reluctantly let go of your shoulder. 

'I'll see you around,' Sihtric said with a sweet smile.

You returned the smile and walked up to the other members, joining Gisela again, who frowned at your arms full of merch.

'How did you get that?' she asked with big eyes as the other men were busy chatting with someone else.

'Sihtric gave it to me,' you whispered.

'Are you serious?'

'Yeah,' you smiled and told her what happened. Gisela couldn't believe it and kept saying how Sihtric must have liked you, but you shrugged it off. 'He's just really nice,' you said.

'Nice, my ass,' Gisela frowned, 'he keeps looking at you,' she said, upset, because Uhtred didn't pay her much attention apparently.

'No, he's not,' you scoffed, then looked over your shoulder and locked eyes with Sihtric, as someone else was talking to him, and a smile appeared on his face. 'O-okay, maybe he just looked now,' you stammered.

'What did he write on that record?' Gisela tried to get a look at it.

'Oh, shit, I have no idea,' you said, completely forgetting about that after everything that happened.

You looked at the vinyl cover and smiled at the way he wrote your name so gracefully, and had continued with;

Hope you stick around for another seven years, and longer... 

Love you to death ;) 

XO

Sihtric

'Love you to death?' Gisela's mouth fell open.

'No! It's not what you think!' you said, 'you know his guitar strap? The metal chain?' 

Gisela nodded, her jaw still dropped.

'He stole that idea from Peter Steele, who was the bass player and singer for Type O Negative,' you explained, 'and one of their most famous songs is called Love You to Death. It's obviously a nod to the first time I met Sihtric, and said the metal chain reminded me of Peter, which we just talked about. Oh my god, I didn't even tell you yet!' you gasped, 'he remembered me when I showed him the photo we took years ago!'

'Oh my god,' was all Gisela could bring out.

The rest of the meet and greet was a blur really. You just couldn't grasp your interaction with Sihtric, and Gisela kept telling you how Sihtric was constantly looking at you. You chatted and took pictures with the other guys too, who were just as friendly as the first time you had met, but your eyes kept wandering back to Sihtric, and you always found him looking at you from across the room. When the meet and greet was over, everyone just waved goodbye to each other, but Sihtric was quick to run up to you, to give you another firm hug before leaving, and said if he found you in the crowd, he'd throw you one of his guitar picks. 

And before you knew it, you found yourself in the hot crowd. You were kinda close to the stage at first, but the crowd was constantly pushing and pulling, so you and Gisela moved further back halfway through the set.

As always, the show was fantastic, but when you left the venue you were sad you never got that guitar pick, as you had been too far away. Back home, you both couldn't stop staring at the pictures you got with your favourite member, and you posted your selfies separately on your instagram, tagging all members in their own photo. About an hour later you suddenly screamed, startling Gisela, who jumped up next to you on the couch.

'What happened?' she asked.

'S…S…S-Sihtric liked our selfie,' you wheezed, and just as you both looked at your screen, another notification popped up.

sihtric.kjartansson commented: beauty & the beast x

You felt dizzy and laid down on the floor, while Gisela took your phone to read the comment properly.

'Oh my god,' she laughed, 'he's totally into you!'

'Impossible,' you groaned, hiding your face behind your hands.

'Oh come on, we all stalk their pages, we know none of them ever comment. They rarely even like the posts they are tagged in!' Gisela said, 'you gotta dm him! He's totally flirting!'

'I thought about it, to… you know, thank him again in private but… I don't know…'

'You should!' she said, 'you should send a picture of you wearing one of those shirts he gave you, telling him it fits,' she giggled.

'Should I?' you frowned.

After some bickering, you finally agreed. You put on the comfy hoodie, which was the perfect amount of oversized, and you took a cute picture in the mirror. 

You: The merch fits! Thanks for everything. Had a great time meeting you again, sad I didn't get that guitar pick though, the crowd was rough. Great show regardless! :) 

You hit send and locked your phone. It was getting late and you were tired, so you decided to go home and sleep, figuring Sihtric would never reply anyway.

The next morning you woke up and you had a near heart attack when you looked at your phone. Sihtric had liked your message and even replied. With shaking hands you opened your dms.

Sihtric: looking good lady x

Sihtric: sad I couldn't find you either, the crowd was indeed rowdy. hope you didn't get stuck in that mosh pit...

Sihtric: let me know if you're going to another show, I'll fix that pick for you x

You gasped, screamed and nearly cried. You screenshotted the messages and texted Gisela, who went feral too, and she asked what you were going to reply with. You had no idea yet, you needed some time to think. You also cursed yourself when you saw he had replied only 5 minutes after you had messaged him last night, while you were in bed already, trying to sleep. You figured he'd never reply again now, after 10 hours had passed by now, and you felt you had wasted the opportunity. 

After an hour you finally gathered your courage and replied.

You: I know better than to get near a mosh pit haha! unfortunately last night was the only show I'll be at, I couldn't get tickets for the last show :( better luck next tour maybe!

You locked your phone again and got back under your covers, and a minute later your phone buzzed. You thought it was Gisela, but your heart skipped another beat with you saw it was Sihtric again.

'Oh my fucking god,' you breathed and opened the message.

Sihtric: damn, lady. Definitely hit me up next time you're seeing us, yeah? x

You replied with trembling hands again.

You: will do :) thanks again! x

Right after you pressed send, it showed that Sihtric had seen the message, and he started typing. Your head was spinning, how was any of this even real. Sihtric, out of all members, was the one who used his social media the least. Yet here he was, responding to you within seconds.

Sihtric: no worries love

Sihtric: was lovely meeting you again

Sihtric: how are you doing today then? x

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylasthegrim @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @bel-bottoms @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305 @drwstarkeyy @mrsarnasdelicious @verenahx @urmomsgirlfriend1

[clownprincehoeshi]

PARALLEL HEARTS- CHAPTER 8

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams you imagined that you’ll meet your ult bias. But it seems that the universe really loves you this time. Will Jeon Jungkook notice you?

Pairing: fem reader x ?idol

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Warnings: for all chapters-Kissing-Nudity-Sex 18+-Stalking-Harrassment-Cheating-Death mentions Minors don’t interact!

Word count: 4704

Previous chapter

Masterlist

Don't forget rebloging is important and much apreciated! <3

Of course headache was your best friend the next day

Y/N: Fucking hell, I drank so much. Why did you let me do it? Some friends I have.

Hana: But it was really funny watching you drunk. And you’re a good drunk, fun, friendly, funny, clingy. Just like someone else I know.

Y/N: Shut uuup! I need water and pills.

Hana: Let’s get out of bed first, drink water, take something for the headache and get ready. We’re having breakfast out. I know a new cute place that opened.

Y/N: Damn, are you like a city tour guide but for places you can eat and hang out? I never ever in my life had went out this much as I have since I met you.

Hana: You love it though, even if you’re such an introvert.

Y/N: Hehe, you caught me.

You two were out in no time, holding hands and walking quietly towards the breakfast place.

When you got there, everything was in shades of pink and white. Really cute, you thought. You ordered some delicious sandwiches and pancakes, along with some cocoa-milk.

Y/N: Am I in heaven now? What is going on, how did I die?

Hana: It’s so good, right?

Y/N: Huh! Yah-huh. It’s so ridiculous. I need to bring the guys here.

Hana: You know, I was thinking that I miss the ’97 crew get together and we all know what happened and how we kind of stopped doing our regular dinners. I really miss hanging out with my cousin like that and it’s the only time when I get to see him, with him being so busy. SO..

Y/H: Babe, you can meet them if you want, I don’t mind.

Hana: What if JK or Mingyu are there? I really don’t want to speak to them, especially fucking Jungkook.

Y/N: Well, I don’t know. I guess you can just ignore him? And you can be friendly with Gyu, he’s not horrible. And the rest of the guys are all right.

Hana: You think JK and Mingyu talk?

Y/N: Not sure. Last time I saw them, they were not on good terms, and Gyu thinks JK is my stalker. But you never know, they were really good friends before I showed up.

Hana: Yeah, I guess you’re right. We’ll see, I will come with gossip though.

Y/N: Come on, let’s head home. Tomorrow we’ll have a really busy day at work with all those meetings and planning.

Hana: I really think they’ll announce we got the Seventeen project.

Y/N: I don’t know if I’m excited about it.

Next day comes around and it was like Hana said. Your company got the new Seventeen project. You’ll be working close with them for their new album and world tour. One whole year of touring all over the world, wow. They gotten really big.

Hana: Look, they have a bunch of concerts in Europe. We should definitely go to some. We might need to be there with the staff anyways for the stage, settings and styling. That would be fun, wouldn’t it?

Y/N: I mean… I guess. I would see him too much for my liking, but things maybe will be better by then. The company will sure send a team to some of the venues for sure.

This was unexpected. You knew how things worked in this business. If you worked with an artist and they had concerts, your company needed to send people there. At least I’ll travel.

Weeks of intensive work followed. Planning and preparations, filming, shootings. Mingyu came back from his hiatus and when you met on the set or in meetings you kept it short and civilised.

They had their comeback now and album promotions. Some tv shows here and there, some live performances. You were there with your team for most of them. Tour was right around the corner and you felt pretty excited.

You, Hana and 3 other people from your company were supposed to be with the group in most of the locations. You never travelled so much and you couldn’t wait for it. All those cities, all that culture and history. You were always fascinated by it.

The day of the departure was here. You woke up at 2 am to get ready. You had 2 big suitcases filled with clothes and personal stuff. You made yourself look pretty and presentable, you will be flying together with the members and some of the staff.

Most of the other staff were already at the location. First stop, L.A. You’ve never been to the US and you were shitting your pants right now.

The airport was crazy, filled with fans, photographs, journalists, staff, suitcases on top of suitcases. This was crazy.

The company finally got a private plane for the boys, they became too successful now and they really need privacy more than ever. No more crazy fans stalking them into their flights wherever they went.

Plane took off and in no time the crew brought breakfast for everyone. You sat next to Hana and in front of you were Jun and Minghao.

Jun: Well this is going to be a long ass flight, so we should eat and sleep.

Minghao: You’re always sleeping.

Y/N: He’s a cat, of course he sleeps a lot.

Minghao: BTW, Y/N, I am really happy to have you with us on this tour.

Y/N: Oh? Why?

Minghao: You’re the only one that doesn’t get shy when I flirt with them.

Y/N: You don’t know that, maybe I get shy but I hide it really well.

Minghao: Naaahh, I know you. Not even a small blush on your cheeks and you never fluster, you always have a comeback. I like you.

Jun: Whoah, what the hell man? You trying to seduce my bestie right in front of my croissant?

You all started my laugh at Jun’s face, he was stuffing his mouth with croissants, barely able to form coherent words, crumbs falling in the air.

You could see Mingyu over Jun’s shoulder, looking your way. He was smiling, but his eyes were sad. You thought your feelings for him were not as strong. You were even sure you were not in love with him anymore, you were not feeling sad when you saw him now. You were not feeling that punch in your stomach, knowing he was not yours anymore.

Finally, things felt normal. And you thought Jungkook moved on too, since the stalking ended. No weird messages or phone calls in the middle of the night, no more dark shadows following you. Things were good.

Things were really good.

Minghao: So how’s your love life lately, Y/N?

Y/N: You trying to make me choke on my food?

Minghao: Why? That bad?

Y/N: Let’s say I am content with being single for the rest of my life.

Jun: See what I mean? She acts like an old fart and she’s not even 30 yet. I keep telling her that love will hit her in the face so hard she won’t be able to say no.

Minghao: Come ooon Y/N! Why are you being so stubborn?

Y/N: Why Hao. Might you have a proposal for me? You like me, like me? You wanna wine and dine me?

Minghao: I would if I were single.

Y/N: You have a girlfriend?

Minghao: Yeah, it’s recent. We’re trying to see if we’re compatible, not rushing anything.

Y/N: Awww, that’s sweet, I’m happy for you, really.

Minghao: And here I thought you wanted to date me.

Hana: Hahaha, no. She loves to flirt, plus she likes someone else.

All 3 of you looked at her in shock, as if you saw a ghost.

Jun: What did you just say?

Y/N: How much did you drink already?

Out of nowhere, Seungkwan appeared.

Seungkwan: Who likes who? I need to know.

Jun: I can’t believe you have been keeping a crush secret from me? You bestie?

Hana: She won’t admit it. But I know. I see everything.

Seungkwan: Y/N! Please, you need to tell us. Do we know the guy? Is he cute?

You rolled your eyes at all of this. Everyone curious, asking questions. DK came too, also curious about your crush. You could also see Vernon looking at you, waiting to hear a name.

But most of all, you could see Mingyu looking right into your soul. He looked so disappointed, no more smile on his face, just all seriousness.

You felt small and ashamed. If you liked someone, it shouldn’t be anyone else’s business. And your ex should not be present at this conversation.

In fact, you don’t even know if you like that person or not. You promised yourself you won’t fall in love again, that you’re done with men.

You don’t know what you feel and you surely don’t want to talk about it.

Scoups: What’s going on, why all the fuss there?

DK: Y/N has a crush and she won’t say his name!!!

You saw Mingyu standing up, heading towards the restrooms. And while walking he said: Come on, guys, you’re being annoying. If she wants to tell you who it is, she will. Now leave her be!

You covered your face with both hands, making yourself small in your chair. Thank heavens for Kim Mingyu who rescued you once again. You start to think he might be an angel.

Minghao: Mingyu is right, we’re making her uncomfortable.

Hana: Oh! My bad, I thought it will be funny.

And she wraps her arms around you to apologise. Yup, she’s drunk, you can feel the soju from a mile.

Jun: Let’s go, Y/N, finish your food. You barely touched it. And we’ll talk later, ok?

He takes your hand and gives it a squeeze, along with a bright smile.

Y/N: You always know what to say, Juni.

You get back to your eggs and avocado and while lifting your glass to drink some water, you slowly move your head to your left and you see a very zoned out Hoshi looking at you.

You choke on the water straight away and start coughing. Hana part you on the back and asks if you’re ok, which you nod yes.

After everyone finished with their food, was time to sleep. All lights were turned off, seats reclined. You grabbed your blanket and tried to get some rest. Whenever you heard noises or people walking by, you opened your eyes. And every time you did that, you could see Mingyu looking at you.

Why is he doing this? Just go to sleep, let me be. I don’t want to remember stuff and don’t want to feel something for him again. I know that look, I know what he’s doing.

So your turn on your side to not have him in your line of vision anymore. But now you’re faced with a really adorable human hamster that’s asleep. Those puffy cheeks and that pretty pout makes you smile.

Mingyu catches that and it makes him sad, seeing he’s not the one that makes you smile like that. You’re a fool, Kim Mingyu. Someone will take her from you for good, and that might happen faster than you think.

This flight felt like a week. You couldn’t wait to get to your destination and get to work, to get your mind away from…stuff.

After the landing, the staff got out first, and went towards the exit and the company cars that were waiting. The members got out last and received a mini bus for their ride to the hotel.

The company had rented a few floors of the hotel and brough extra security. No strangers were allowed to get to the floor where you were all staying.

The rest of the day was for a quick meeting with everyone to let them know the schedule for tomorrow, then free time. Jun texted you after the meeting.

Jun: Hey, pookie! Let’s have some takeout in Hoshi’s room in one hour. He’ll order some Japanese and Italian, we’ll have plenty of food. Bring Hana too. Room 504.

Y/N: Ok, Juni.

Y/H: Wife, we’re having dinner with the guys in one hour.

Hana: Ok, I’ll get out from the shower in 10.

Ou rush to pick some cute comfy clothes to wear. Hana come out of the shower and sees you’re trying to pick an outfit. You already have a pair or sweatpants and a t shirt.

Hana: Girl, no! You want to be sexy too, not just homeless. Keep the pants, take this deep neck top. He’ll drool.

Y/N: Who?

Hana stops and looks at you straight in the eyes.

Hana: Drop the act. I know and you know who I’m talking about. You like him.

Y/N: No I don’t!

Hana: Just wear this and shut up. And if you don’t wanna tell me right now fine, but you will speak soon.

You try to drop the conversation, you really just wanna focus on work while on this tour, not on boys.

One hour later you’re in Hoshi’s room. There’s also Jun, Hao, Wonu and Joshua.

Hoshi: We have cola, soju and beer. What do you girls want?

Hana: We’ll have soju and beer.

You sit at the big table that they moved in the middle of the room and grab a plate. Jun tells you to try some pasta, because it seems it’s delicious and you love pasta.

When you take your look away from Jun and look at your plate, Hoshi is putting some pasta on it, along with some sushi.

Y/N: Oh..thanks.

He lifts his face and gives you a bright smile, smiling with his whole face.

The food is really good and the soju goes smoothly with it. You feel a little tipsy. You see Joshua with red cheeks, he must be a bit drunk already. Hana is getting there too.

Hana leans in to whisper into your ear: Damn, how are all these guys so freaking hot? How do you do it? Now falling for one of them each day.

Y/N: Keep your voice down, silly, and stop perving.

Hana: OK, but I only promise I won’t perv over your man.

You pinch her thigh and she squeaks loud, making you laugh at the funny sound.

Joshua: What are you girls whispering there? Are you talking about boys?

Hana: In fact, yes. We are.

Joshua: Uuuhh, do tell. I love me some boys gossip from my girls.

Y/N: Hana, stop it, they don’t need to know every thought that’s going trough your mind when you’re drunk, and btw, have you been drunk all day?

Joshua: I know! Let’s play a game!

Hana: Yeeeeeesss!

Wonu: What game, Shua?

Joshua: Ok, it’s important we keep it real and honest, ok? So we take turns, I will ask the person on my right a question. They can answer or they need to take a shot.

Wonu: Ok, let’s do it. I have nothing to hide.

Hoshi: Sure, why not.

Joshua: Ok, I will start then. Hao, are you in love with your girlfriend?

Hao: Umm…not yet. But getting there, me thinks. Wonu, what’s the most annoying thing your roommate Mingyu did in your apartment?

Wonu: Ugh, don’t get me started. He’s always so clumsy, but one time he dropped my phone inside his soup bowl.

Josua: Ok, we’re on a good track here, but let’s keep it interesting, yeah? Wonu, your turn.

Wonu: Hoshi, when are you going to tell your crush you like her?

All it can be heard is “whaat” and “uh”.

Minghao: Well now this is news. Since when and why didn’t I know?

Hoshi: Guys, it’s nothing. Wonu is exaggerating.

Wonu: But answer the question though!

Hoshi looks at his hands, then yells all of a sudden: I don’t know, ok?

Joshua: Omg, my little brother likes a girl. I’m happy, Hosh, about time. It’s been so long since…you know.

Hoshi: Yeah yeah, let’s move on. Jun, have you ever thought about being more than friends with Y/N?

Jun looks at him scandalised, opens his mouth in the shape of O and puts his hand over his chest.

Jun: My God, that’s so inappropriate to think about my sister. My bestie. Nooo. Buuut, we made a pact that if when we’re 40 and single, we’ll just marry each other. Now my dear friend Y/N, light of my eyes, kimchi in my rice. I have a really really important question for you.Do I know your crush?

Y/N: Why is everyone so obsessed about my love life?

Minghao: You have a love life?

Y/N: No.

Jun: Come on, bestie, tell me. Or you wanna drink?

Joshua: Let me voice my opinion here. After much thinking, I came to the conclusion that if you drink, it means Jun knows your crush. So either way, it’s better to answer.

Y/N: What a nice guy are you, Josh.

Joshua gives the biggest closed mouth smile ever, he knows he caught you.

Y/N: Ok, Jun. You know the guy. Happy now?

Jun: Yes and no, because now I am fucking curious.

Hana: Let’s continue the game, I wanna play too.

Y/N: Hana, do you like any guy from this room?

Hana: Fuck, am I allowed to say I like all of them?

Joshua: You say what you want, boo.

Hana: Awww Joshua called me boo. Now Josh, are you maybe looking for a girlfriend?

Everyone started laughing at how obviously flirty Hana was with Josh.

Wonu: What about the rest of us, Hana? You forgot us so fast?

Hana: Oh, sorry, Wonu. I can have more than one boyfriend. Nobody is left behind.

You get up on your feet and announce you feel sleepy and will head out to your room and you probably need to drag Hana with you, since she’s too drunk.

Also, you’re afraid of more of these questions that you don’t want to answer and also you don’t want to drink yourself under the table.

You said good night to the guys and headed to your room you shared with Hana. You decided you’re both to drunk to shower, so you changed into pj’s and got into bed. You’ll shower in the morning.

Next day you had breakfast in the room and then you were ready for work.

You needed to be at the stadium where they will perform for 2 days in a row. The set needed to be perfect. Meanwhile, the boys have the net 2 days packed with shootings and live shows and interviews.

2 shows down, 4 more to go in the US, then off to Brazil and Argentina. Days were passing really fast, since work meant around 10 hours a day. You got to spend time with the guys rarely, everyone was tired at the end of the day and wanted to just relax in bed and sleep.

You had a little break once in Europe. You arrived in Spain first and most of the members and staff decided to spend their one week break here. The weather was perfect and you had beach.

It was your first time in this country and you just wanted to see the architecture, the art, taste the food and visit some national parks and wildlife.

You were with Jun the night when you arrived in Barcelona and you were trying to decide your week plan, while taking a walk to the beach that was close to the hotel.

Jun: I think we should stick together. At least the two of us and probably Hana won’t want to leave you and go with someone else.

Y/N: True. But who else will join us?

Jun: I think Hao will chose to stay in the city and do nothing, he wants to chill. Jeonghan probably the same. Dk and Wonu I am sure they said they wanna visit the city and take photos. Mingyu might join them, don’t know. Woozi will probably stay inside most of the time, he’s really tired. Vernon for sure will come with us, he likes to learn new stuff. Are you brother and sister?

Y/N: We might be. Ok, so we are 4 so far.

Jun: I’ll ask the others tonight and will let the managers know how many we will be for the little excursion, because we will need a van or minibus. Take some clothes with you and stuff you need for a few days.

In the morning, you take your little suitcase and rush for the elevator. Hana is already in the minibus in front of the hotel. When you enter the bus, all the chairs are filled, except one in the back.

Hoshi: Here, I saved the seat for you!

He gets up to help you with your luggage and then you sit down. Today you’re going to a remote beach in a small village. You’ll visit wineries, olive trees and will rent a house on the beach and spend the next 2 days there.

You see Hoshi barely keeping his eyes open, he must be very tired.

Y/N: Here, use my pillow and you can lay down here, our seats are wide enough. I’ll put the pillow in my lap, ok?

Hoshi: Really? Would you do that for me?

Y/N: Of course, why wouldn’t I?

He just shrugs and puts his head on the pillow in your lap and tried to sleep. The drive will take around 2 hours.

He falls asleep quite fast. Meanwhile, you don’t know what to do with your hands. Should you put them over his shoulder? You look at his face and he looks so peaceful and so pretty and your right hand goes to move a strand of hair off his face. Then you keep it over his head, petting him gently.

Your left arm goes over his shoulder, kind of like keeping him safe. It feels nice, you admit to yourself. You see Jun turning his face over his shoulder to look at you and his eyes go big at the scene.

He looks at you for a few moments and then he nods with a serious look on his face. What does he mean with that? This guy is weird, I swear.

You had fallen asleep too, you can just sleep anywhere, anytime and in any position. When you wake up, your arm is wrapped around Hoshi’s torso, he’s laying on his back now. His both hands are holding onto your arm for dear life.

You decide to wake him up since you heard the other say you’re going to arrive in 10 minutes.

Y/N: Soonyoungie!

You whisper softly close to his face.

He whines a little, not wanting to wake up.

Y/N: Come on, Soony, it’s time to wake up. We are almost there.

He pouts, eyes still closed.

Hoshi: But it’s so nice here.

Y/N: Yeah, that’s why you need to wake up to admire the view.

Hoshi: Here. It’s nice here.

He says, as he pulls on your arm tighter around him.

Oh.

Is he saying it’s nice here with me? Like this?

Then he opens his eyes and looks at you, smiling so adorably. In seconds, he lifts himself from your lap, thanking for letting him sleep and taking care of him.

He really left you speechless, and this is not something that ever happened with him. You don’t know what to say, it’s like the cat got your tongue. You just stare at him.

Hoshi: What? Do I have sleep marks on my face?

Y/N: NO, it’s nothing.

You really needed to move your eyes away from that adorable face so you opted to look over the windows and admire the scenery outside.

You reached a small road between olive trees and you could see a white house at the end. You got off the car, took your suitcases and went inside.

Driver: This is a family house we rent to tourists. Has 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, pool in the backyard, garden, a big grill, everything you need. You reach the beach with 10 steps. The sunrise is really beautiful here. See you in 2 days!

It was easy to reach anywhere in the village, it was small and you would just walk for a few minutes.

Seungkwan: Let’s choose the rooms. We are 7, and we have 4 rooms. One person will sleep alone. Any takers?

Jun: Yes, please!

Seungkwan: I guess the girls will have one room and they can choose first. The boys will play rock paper scissors like usual. I’ll share a room with Vernoni

Joshua: And that leaves me and my bro Hosh. Nice!

You and Hana choose the pretties room that has a beach view. You go to inspect the property and you see they even have some gym equipment, a big ass tv in the living room, and outside they have a veggie garden.

You open the gate that takes you to the beach and start walking towards it. It’s been a while since you’ve had your feet in the sand.

You think it’s beautiful and you think Hao would have loved it here, for his meditation and tea ceremony.

You hear steps behind and Jun’s voice.

Jun: There you are. Wow, isn’t this place paradise? It’s just your style.

Y/N: You’re right, it’s how I would live forever. I feel so happy now that I could cry.

You sit there on the sand for a few minutes, listening to the waves and the birds.

Jun: He’s the best guy I know.

You look at him confused, trying to figure out who is he talking about. But then you know.

Y/N: Why are you telling me this?

Jun: You know why. You have doubts. Maybe it’s nothing, maybe it’s something. But it’s better to let it be something than to regret it after it can’t be anything. You don’t need to push yourself to feel or to act on it. Just let it happen. If it will happen. But. He really is the best, in case you had doubts about that. He’s genuine, honest, kind and passionate. If something is to happen, know that he has a lot of love to give. Maybe too much, and it can overwhelm the wrong person. He's been trough some shit with his ex, since then he just shut himself just like you. But I see something there.

You look at Jun and he can see your eyes are glassy. He just leans over and hugs you.

Jun: It’s going to be ok, you’ll see.

Y/N: What if it’s not?

Jun: Then I’ll still be here for you to help you get up. That’s what we do, always try.

Y/N: I love you, you’re the best!

Jun: Love you too! Let’s go inside, they started cooking, I think it might even be ready by now.

Reaching the house, everyone is doing something to help with the cooking or setting up the table.

Y/N: Where is Vernon?

Joshua: He might be sleeping.

Seungkwan: Yeah, he went upstairs to the bedroom.

Y/N: What are you guys making?

Johua: We are making some kimchi fried rice and we also have some pork belly.

Y/N: Ok, I’ll make some salad.

You go into the garden to pick up some veggies for your salad. On your way there you bump into Hoshi and he stops and looks at you suspiciously.

Hoshi: Have you been crying?

Y/N: Why?

Hoshi: Your eyes are red and glassy. Are you ok?

Y/N: I’m fine, just had a chat with Jun at the beach.

Hoshi: Did he say something to upset you?

Y/N: Nooo. Do you know Jun? ha!

He comes closer and hugs you. He hugs you so tight that it feels like you’ll stick like that forever. It’s like he knew what you needed. A hug.

And you wrap your arms around him and hug him back. You stay there for a minute, until you realise where you are and what you’re doing and you pull away.

Hoshi: Where were you going?

Y/N: To pick up veggies from the garden.

Hoshi: Ok, I am in charge of the grill. You’ll be ok, yeah?

You nod and you walk towards the garden with your heart beating 1000 miles/hour.

[surrogate-fawn]

End of Term (NYC College AU)

Part 1 of 2

(Link to Part 2 will appear here when posted)

Summary: Fawn is a small-town girl from West Virginia trying to find her future in the Big Apple. She's left everything from her past behind her . . . or so she thinks. During her final exams, Fawn is completely unaware that she's been pregnant since before the semester began -- and her labor has started. As her discomfort grows more intense throughout the day, Fawn gets a little closer to discovering the cause of it. Hopefully, it doesn't take her too long to figure it out.

((This story features Newt, who belongs to @mittysins.))

TW: Cryptic pregnancy, graphic bodily descriptions, implications of past abuse, emotionally traumatic birth experience.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still wasn't used to the subway trains. Sitting on one was like riding an elevator sideways during an earthquake. The g-force of every start and stop made my stomach lurch, and I still almost flew outta my seat every time. I could expect to be a little queasy by the time Newt and I reached our last stop -- and that was when I didn't wake up sick.

"Bleh. I blame YOU for this!" I text messaged Newt, despite the fact he was sitting a few seats over. He was sitting in our usual spot, but that morning I needed to sit in the back corner, where I could curl up and rest against the wall.

I saw Newt check his phone from the corner of my eye, and seconds later I got his reply: "How is indigestion MY fault?"

"I didn't even want takeout until YOU asked for it." I was sure to put a goofy emoji at the end of the message to show I was being sarcastic.

"Sorry. Cravings." Newt replied. A second later he sent a gif of a cartoon cat shrugging.

I leaned over and met his eyes with a deliberately exaggerated frown. There were several strangers sitting between us, and I probably looked crazy -- but what else was new in this city? I hit 'send', and watched Newt check his phone. I delighted in his held back snicker when he saw the giant picture of a middle finger on his screen.

That morning marked the start of our first finals week as freshman at Queens College. Newt and I had stayed up as late as possible, doing some last-minute study cramming at my apartment. Now that Newt was entering his second trimester, he was trading in his morning sickness for late-night cravings of Chinese food -- specifically steamed dumplings with fried rice (but it had to be plain rice, he'd cried when I'd accidentally ordered the pork rice).

"You're a bad influence on me, lol. I need to stop joining in on your craving binges." I hugged my backpack tighter to my stomach as my guts cramped again.

"I'm not the one who ordered two boxes of sesame chicken and three extra egg rolls." Newt retorted. A second later: "Not to mention the lo mein."

"The lo mein was supposed to be for lunch today! >:("

"Ye right. ;)"

Fine, yeah, I'd overdone it last night. I could barely contain myself around food anymore. Ever since I'd arrived in New York City that past summer, I'd been overeating. I guess I was eating my emotions. The stress had been piling up all fuckin' semester!

Moving from the suburbs of West Virginia to such a huge city had my nerves fried by the time I settled into my teeny-tiny apartment that was more expensive than a house back home. Stacked on that was the anxiety of starting school. Stacked on that was the fact my roommate, Makayla, refused to do her share of chores. Stacked on that was homesickness. Stacked on that was studying enough to not lose my scholarship. Then stacked on all of that, my one and only friend in this city was dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

If my next-door neighbor hadn't been Newt, I'd still be floundering. Without a doubt. We clicked at first sight, as if we'd known each other in a past life. He was my lifeline. Newt had lived in Manhattan all his life, but Queens College was the only local school within his budget and that's how we'd ended up in the same off-campus student housing. He was the one that taught me street-smarts -- which roads to avoid at night, where the best Mom-and-Pop restaurants were, how to hail a cab, and how to read the hieroglyphics that were the subway maps. Although we'd only been friends for barely a month when he knocked on my door with a positive pregnancy test and tears in his eyes, I'd never thought twice about being his shoulder to cry on and his hand to hold.

I didn't care if worrying over him added to the stress of my new life here, it was a worry I gladly carried.

But it seemed all that stress was finally catching up to me.

As the train came to another screaming halt, I was twisting myself into a pretzel. My stomach was cramping again, straining hard to move along the mountain of food I'd eaten twelve hours earlier. The doors slid open, and several passengers I recognized as fellow students stood up. Newt joined them, slinging his bookbag over his shoulder and plucking the air pods out of his ears. I knew I needed to get up, but my legs needed a few extra seconds of convincing.

"You good?" Newt asked as he watched me lift myself off the seat in segments.

"I'm fine," I said, walking with him onto the platform. "I just hope that Pepto kicks in soon."

"How many exams you got today?"

"Three," I groaned, my head falling back on my shoulders. "Chemistry, biology, and that stupid-ass remedial algebra class."

"Ha! I've only got two," Newt gloated, pausing to zip up his oversized red jacket.

"Uh-huh, but don't you have to wait eight hours between them?"

"Gives me plenty of time to study," he said as we continued up the station stairs. The sonofabitch was talking like he hadn't been complaining all week about his morning class and evening class having the same exam day.

"Please," I smirked, rolling my eyes, "I know you're just gonna play The Sims 4 on your laptop."

We both shivered as we walked out of the muggy underground and into the biting cold winds coming off the harbor. I pulled my hood over my head and pulled the drawstrings tighter around my neck.

"You can't prove anything," Newt grinned, his breath coming out as a soft cloud.

I gave him a comedically unamused look. "You're pregnant, so I'm not gonna hit you."

Newt chuckled and placed his hand over the small, four-month bump that was hiding under his jacket. "Thanks for the save, kiddo."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The walk to campus was only two blocks, but it felt like I was forcing myself to trudge through mud. I regretted ordering so much food. Clearly, I hadn't learned my lesson, yet.

My overeating the last few months had me in a constant state of bloat. It always felt like a giant water balloon was sitting right on my guts. I was peeing every few minutes, my kidneys working overtime to get rid of the extra fluid I was holding. Gas bubbles were always rolling through me, too. They were mostly just annoying blips of movement but recently they'd gotten painful.

The worst were the large pockets of air that got trapped under my ribs. They would stay there for hours sometimes, making it excruciating to breathe. Nothing in the world could help me when I got like that; I just had to go about my day in agony and wait until the pressure spreading my ribs apart decided to move along.

By now, I was kinda used to functioning while my intestines were trying to kill me; but, God, they were trying extra hard that day.

My stomachache flared up right outside the library, the shortcut I took to get to chemistry class. I sat down on a bench, gripping the edge of the seat and trying not to double over. My sides ached, and a deep stabbing pain plunged deep inside my abdomen. The invisible knife twisted, and I realized I was holding my breath.

"Fawn?"

I looked up at Newt, who had doubled back to check on me. His first class was on the other side of campus, and the library was where our daily routes split for most of the day.

"I'll be fine," I said, waving him away. "I'll buy a soda at lunch. That usually helps."

Newt glanced over his shoulder, down the path he was supposed to take, and then stepped a little closer. "I won't be out of here until five. Don't wait up for me, okay? When you're done with exams, just go home."

"Yeah, I will," I nodded. "That sounds good."

Newt nodded back, looking a lot more at ease. "Is it okay if I come over with some soup later? I found a new recipe online and it looks really good!"

"That's fine," I said, stretching my arms over my head to loosen up my torso. "Just use your key. I'll see 'ya then, bud."

"See you then." He gave me a two-fingered salute and continued on his way.

I checked the time on my phone and sighed. I had to get moving again, or else I'd have half my final exam score deducted for being late. My chemistry professor was a real stickler for being on-time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd moved to New York City to finally get my degree in Botany & Plant Science. It'd been my dream for a while to become a researcher and study the pharmaceutical use of plants. Having a pair of old hippies as parents will inspire that interest in 'ya. Queens College was the best scholarship I could get out-of-state, and I had to be out-of-state. I just had to be.

I already had trouble fitting in with my classmates as a "mature" undergrad student. Since when was twenty-nine considered too "mature" for college?! All of my subjects were basic introductory courses, and that meant I was surrounded by fresh-faced teenagers less than a year out of high school. Even Newt wasn't that young. He'd taken a few years off before college, but apparently twenty-four was still young enough to fit in with the crowd.

At least not having any classroom friends meant I was left alone that morning. I sat in my assigned seat and watched the rest of the students file in from the hallway. The desk allowed me to hunch down when my stomach clenched again, the muscles in my abs pinching hard. I crossed my legs and bounced my foot, trying to distract myself from the storm brewing inside me as the professor laid out the rules of the exam period.

I was in pain for that entire hour. It was hard to keep up with the time limit. I had to pause on several multiple-choice questions -- sometimes because they were challenging, other times because the stabbing, twisting pain was flaring up. I began fantasizing about how good I'd feel after I was able to get my hands on a soda, and that daydream carried me through.

Shockingly, I was one of the first students to stand up -- and I'd finished with barely eleven minutes to spare. My professor nodded at me as I placed my exam packet on his desk, and he quietly wished me a good winter break as I shuffled out the door.

Freedom at last! There were about two hours to kill before my biology exam, so I was sure with a light snack and some rest I'd be feeling better by then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd worked hard to build up enough of a nest egg to live off in New York. I'd squirreled money away for three years in a secret bank account, and lied to Alexander about how much my hourly pay was. My scholarship covered only part of my housing costs, and I knew living off savings couldn't last all four years of school. However, I was not going to stress over buying a three-dollar root beer when it felt like I was being wrung like a washcloth.

The dining hall at Queens was a glorified cafeteria: fold-out tables, plastic chairs, too much noise and not enough space. I really wasn't hungry, but I knew if I skipped out on lunch I would regret it later. So, I stopped by the Nathan's stand to grab a hotdog and bag of plain potato chips to go with my large cup of carbonated medicine.

I made do with sitting at the empty end of a crowded table, where the huddle of dudes at the other end were playing Magic: the Gathering. That stuff was more Newt's scene than mine, so I put my earbuds in and pulled up the YouTube app on my phone.

The Peanuts Christmas special played on my screen as I nibbled on chips and washed the salt away with long swigs of root beer. I was hoping to summon a little Christmas spirit to help me not feel so dead inside. It was two weeks away, and it was the little candy-red cherry atop my mountain of things to worry about. Between hesitant bites of hotdog, I wondered how I could pry some gift ideas out of Newt last-minute. I'd already gotten him an Amazon gift card, but I wanted to get him something a little more per-.

I sucked a sharp breath through my nostrils, choking on half-chewed bread as my stomach cramped again. It didn't feel the same as the hundreds of other cramps I'd been having. This one was bad. It was really. Fucking. Bad! I curled up in the seat, my hands dipping inside my hoodie pocket to press against my stomach. Even through three layers of clothing, I could feel my muscles clenching.

And it just wouldn't stop. Most of them would fade after a few seconds, but this one just kept going. I doubled over, pressing on my belly and praying the pain would stop.

And then it stopped.

I sat up straight and looked around. No one nearby was paying any attention, but my freckles turned pink anyway as I quickly rose and tossed what was left of my food in the trash. I chugged the rest of the soda.

There were still two exams to go, but I was already checked out for the day. I knew there was a bottle of cupcake vodka leftover from Makayla's birthday party last month. Mixed in a milkshake, that stuff had been sweet enough to give me both a sugar high and a buzz. Maybe if the soda didn't do the trick I'd go home and try soothing my stomach with one of those. I deserved one already, and it wasn't even noon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It hurt to be upright.

My biology exam was half lab work and half a written test. The class was split into two groups: one to do the lab first, and one to do the written exam first. Guess which one I was in.

I was white-knuckling that clipboard as I quietly shuffled from one specimen sample to the next. Identify this bone. Identify that leaf. Is this a rock or a fossil? I was rocking my weight from side-to-side as subtly as I could. The cramping hadn't eased up since lunch. I was feeling this one down to the soles of my feet and keeping 'em moving was the only way I could stay standing.

At the apex of the cramp, I grit my teeth as a new pain bloomed deep inside my hips. I leaned my weight over the table, disguising the motion as trying to get a better look at a specimen. A knife-like stab hit my cervix and the ache radiated between my legs.

Ah, okay. I knew that kind of pain, even if it'd been a while.

No wonder the indigestion was so bad. I always got an upset stomach the day my period was due to start. 'Course, I could never tell when I was due. I tried tracking them, but ever since puberty they'd been on a schedule of their own. My cycles had been mild spotting for most of that year, so I figured there was a mighty buildup of Mother Nature in there that was trying to come out. No wonder I was already cramping so hard.

Oh, boy . . . and from my experience, I could tell I was in for a world of hurt once I actually started bleedin'.

I made it through the written half of the exam free of carnage. The pain was somehow easier to deal with when I knew it was all just hormones. At the water fountain down the hall, I popped a few ibuprofen out of my purse and downed them. There, now I knew I'd be feeling better once those puppies kicked in.

Another two hours, and I'd be free to go home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was relaxing on a sofa in the library when I suddenly felt a pouring wetness in the crotch of my pants. Ah, fuck. Fuck!

I left my backpack behind in a panic and speed-walked to the nearest restroom. I subtly pulled my hoodie as far over my hips as possible, hoping to hide anything that leaked through my sweatpants as I shuffled past other quietly studying students. I cussed myself out in my head for not thinking to put on a pad as soon as I started cramping.

Once I was hidden away in a stall, I inspected the damage. My underwear was damp with a watery pink discharge as well as several dark red clots. Yes, some of it had seeped through my pants, but not enough to be noticeable. I could still feel it dripping down into the toilet as I tried to clean everything up.

All it took was that first drop of blood for the cramps to reach their full strength. That was always the case when I missed a few periods. I pressed my lips together to stop a groan from escaping as I doubled over and hugged my midsection. My entire torso throbbed and clenched inward. My toes curled inside my sneakers as the pain once again trickled down to the soles of my feet. My jaw locked up as I grit my teeth against the pain, and I felt a charlie horse starting in the back of my neck.

Everything. Fucking. HURT.

The cramp left me feeling slightly weak. It didn't just disappear, it just . . . settled back into my muscles as a soft, constant ache. I held a wad of toilet paper between my legs for a few seconds, and in that short amount of time it was soaked in pastel pink. The floodgates had opened, and it wasn't going to stop. This pink discharge was no doubt going to become a full red tide by the time I got home.

I returned to the couch wearing a cheap cotton pad from the restroom vending machine. Although it wasn't smart, I swallowed two more ibuprofen dry. I sat curled up in the corner of the sofa, killing the last forty minutes before my exam watching videos on my phone.

The cramps just kept coming. I kept feeling blood gushing out of me and into the pad. My labia were constantly throbbing, and not in the good way. Every time I cramped, it felt like I was being turned inside out.

I seriously considered blowing off my algebra exam. I would fail the class, but I could just re-take it next semester, right? Maybe I could re-schedule the final if I brought in a doctor's note? Well, fuck . . . no, I couldn't do that. My health insurance wouldn't fully cover an emergency room visit and I doubted a doctor's note from three days after the final would be able to save my sorry ass.

Besides, I hated remedial algebra so much I felt nauseous at the thought of doing it again. I was just gonna have to suck it up and get through it like everyone else. Then, I wouldn't have to think about anything else until tomorrow.

God, why me?! Why today of all days to start the worst period in the history of mankind?!

I wondered if there was some cosmic deity out there who was taking joy in my suffering. If so, at least this pain was good for something in the grand scheme of things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite the biting December air, I felt sweat dripping down my back as I trudged across campus to attend my last exam. It hurt to walk. It hurt to stand. Hell, it just hurt to exist. I made myself keep a steady pace, although my body was demanding I stop with every cramp. When that telltale stabbing would start in my lower back, all I wanted to do was lay on the floor and cry; but I was a grown-up, and I had grown -up stuff to do.

When I sat at my desk, my hips jolted up as if the hard plastic seat had burned me. I let out an involuntary gasp of pain, and my face burned in embarrassment as everyone turned to look at me. I started a chesty cough to disguise the sound.

I hadn't noticed it when sitting on the plush couch, but my labia were ungodly swollen and sore. This was not something that usually happened during my period. I knew my hormones were way out of whack this time around, so . . . maybe it was some weird hormonal reaction?

Whatever it was, it wasn't making the exam any easier.

My whole weight was sitting square on my pelvis in that uncomfortable classroom desk, and it was torture. I tried sitting as far back as I could to take the pressure off, but that just made my tailbone hurt, too.

My pencil slipped in my wet palm as I desperately tried to fill the bubbles in on my scantron sheet. I wriggled my hips, trying in vain to find a way to sit that didn't hurt like hell. Sweat began to drip from under my sports bra beneath my layers of clothing. It was taking everything in my power not to beg my professor to let me take the exam while lying on the floor. Fuck, I'd even do it standing on my head -- anything to get the pressure off my poor vagina.

Ten minutes in I decided to leave my final grade up to fate. I was in so much pain, I no longer cared if I failed the class. I chose my answers based on educated guesses, skipping the solving process entirely.

I was staggering to my feet within twenty minutes, and my professor gave me a scowl when he saw my worksheet hardly had any equations written on it. He leaned in as I placed my scantron on his desk.

"I hope you know you've wasted your time," he whispered, glowering at me from under his bi-focals. "You may as well have not showed up."

The only answer I could offer was a nod. I hurried into the hallway, tears blurring my vision.

I knew I'd wasted my time. I knew I'd fucked myself over. The further I walked down the hall, the more I regretted not trying harder.

I threw the test after ten fuckin' minutes, just so I could go home and be lazy. I wasn't sick, I was just on my period! What sorry excuse was that for wasting tuition money? There were probably dozens of other students in the same amount of pain I was in, but they weren't throwing away their grades over it. God, I was pathetic. I was so determined to pass this stupid remedial class at the start of the semester, even if it was with a 'C', but in ten minutes I'd given up.

Maybe Alex was right. Maybe I was just too damn stupid to be here.

By the time I stepped outside, I was crying. I pulled up my hood to hide the tears and kept my head down as I began the long walk off campus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The noon train wasn't as packed as the seven o'clock train, but it was still too full for my liking. That was what I hated about the city; you couldn't go anywhere without brushing shoulders with a stranger.

There were available seats, but I couldn't sit down. My lower lips were throbbing with my heartbeat. I had my arm wrapped around a standing bar, clinging for dear life against the g-forces of the train. My stance had to be wider than natural, or else my thighs would pinch and cause a hot, pulsating pain through my stomach. I knew I probably looked like a drunk trying to hold themselves up against gravity, but I reminded myself that New Yorkers see things like that on the trains all the time. No one would say anything as long as I kept to myself. My hood was still up to hide the leaks in my eyes, the flow of tears I couldn't fully control.

I clung tighter to the bar as I cramped again, and a warm gush soaked into the pad between my legs. My eyes dripped as they stared off into nothing, my mind going blank from the pain. A sudden "buzz-buzz" from the phone in my pocket brought me back from the void. I blinked my vision clear and checked the text message. It was from Newt, replying to a text I'd sent earlier:

"Sorry ur feeling so shit :( You going home?"

I rested my temple against the smudged chrome pole and typed my reply:

"On the train now."

Three grey dots appeared below my message.

Buzz-buzz.

"Still want me to come over??"

I replied: "Yeah. Makayla's with her boyfriend for the week and I need distraction."

Grey dots. Buzz-buzz.

"Awww poor bb. A whole apartment all to yourself. Glad I'm not THAT unlucky. /s "

I grinned and dried half my face on my shoulder. Newt had never fit in with his roommate's group of frat boy sports fans. Just like I had never gelled with Makayla's crowd of hardcore party girls. They weren't "bad" people, they were just . . . not "our" people.

"We need new roommates," I typed.

Dots. Buzz-buzz.

"Ye."

I felt another huge gush, and my thighs pressed together in response. My inner cheek bled as my teeth chopped through it. Fuck. Forgot to not do that.

That cheap pad didn't feel like it was gonna hold up much longer. The last thing I needed was to reenact the elevator scene from The Shining in front of two dozen strangers on the subway. I pulled my hoodie further over my hips, just in case.

"Fair warning," I typed, "my apartment might be a bloodbath by the time you get there."

Dots. Buzz-buzz.

"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!"

"Omfg."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ohhh my fucking god."

I angled my lower back into the stream of hot water, pressing my hands into the glass wall of the shower. I hung my head as my body gradually clamped down on itself like a vice, tighter . . . tighter . . . tighter. Now that I was safely inside the privacy of my apartment, I could finally deal with the pain how I wanted: whining like a 'lil bitch.

"Ohhh my fucking god," I repeated, the sentence crawling out of my mouth as a slurred moan.

The water splashed pink at my feet. A few dime-sized globs of red fell onto the shower mat and were washed away. My pad had been soaked through with that thin pink discharge, but hardly any real blood. My body must've been trying to break my uterus open like a piggy bank to get out what it needed, because I felt like I was dying.

"God," I dragged the word out for a solid minute in a deep, angry groan as I sank to my knees. I ran out of breath, but the pain kept going. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and pitched forward, eyelids pinched shut and teeth open in a gaping snarl. The muscles in my torso vibrated with tension. It was hard to breathe, my ribs too tight to get a full breath. The air I managed to suck in came back out as another drawn-out groan: "Fuck."

I'd been trying for hours to ease the cramping and indigestion that were teaming up to kill me. I'd taken enough ibuprofen to drop a horse. I'd taken Pepto-Bismol like shots of tequila. Heating pads had helped, but not for long. I'd put an ice pack between my legs to bring down the swelling, but the ice stung. I'd turned the temperature as high as I could tolerate and was now face-down on the shower floor, letting the water hit anywhere it could reach. My skin was scalded red, but the iota of relief I got was worth it.

Knock, knock, knock. Three solid knocks on the bathroom door.

I knelt there with my cheek in a puddle of water, too engulfed in pain to react.

"Soup delivery!" A cheery tenor voice on the other side, somewhat drowned by the water rolling over my ears.

Newt? What was he doing here? He didn't leave school until five. Shit, what time was it? How long had I been home?

I lifted myself onto my elbows, blowing out a long breath as I waited for the pain to fade. As soon as it did, I called loud enough for Newt to hear me over the roar of the shower:

"I'll be out in a sec. Just put everything in the kitchen."

"M'kay."

I didn't hear Newt walk away, but I heard his heavy crockpot being set on the counter -- the kitchen shared a wall with the bathroom. God, that apartment was tiny.

Ugh. I had to get up. I'd been in there too long. The water was turning cold. My hands and feet were pruney. I had to get up. I had to get up.

I climbed up the slick glass wall, leaving smeared handprints in the condensation. The higher I stood on my feet, the worse I felt; but if you'd asked me to describe how, I wouldn't have known what to say. I steadied myself, turned the water off, and opened the shower door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a fresh bowl waiting for me on the counter as I stepped into the kitchen, but I didn't have an appetite.

"Don't like it?" Newt asked, serving himself a helping of soup from the crockpot.

My hair was hanging limp around my face and shoulders, dripping water like the branches of a weeping willow; but the droplets rolling down my neck weren't water. A sticky layer of sweat was coating my back and my legs beneath my plush winter pajamas. The bowl of homemade French onion soup sat untouched and steaming in front of me.

"No, it looks good," I said. "I just don't really feel like eat--ugh!" Another cramp started and this time I didn't hold back a moan of pain. "Augh!"

Newt set his bowl on the stove and took a few soft-footed steps towards me. "Does your period usually hurt like this?" he asked, rubbing his hand over my back.

I shook my head and braced my hands against the counter, unable to answer him with words. I tried to speak, but my mouth would only allow a series of small moans and gasps as the pain went on and on and on and -- fuck, this wasn't right! It had been almost a year since my last full bleed, but there was no way in hell this level of pain was normal!

I leaned over the counter, rocking my hips in a fruitless bid to shake away the twisting, stabbing, squeezing pain. As I struggled to fill my lungs with air, my mind scrambled for answers. Was this what endometriosis felt like? A cyst rupturing? A fibroid? Oh my god, what if it was a tumor?!

I felt more fluid dripping in globs onto my pad, and I let out a sob. "It feels so bad!" I whimpered to my friend, tears coming to my eyes. "I just . . . just want it to stop!" My lower back suddenly felt like it was going to break, and I let out another sob as my knees began to give out under me.

Newt saw me falling and he acted quick. His arms hooked under my shoulders, and he arched his back to try and keep me standing.

"Woah, hey!" he cried as he caught me in a low crouch, just before I'd hit the ground. "What's wrong?!"

My first thought was to tell him to put me down. He shouldn't be straining himself like that, and I worried about him even through the blinding pain. I opened my mouth to scold him, but that's when it happened. I will never forget the moment it happened.

A huge weight began to sit on my lower bowels, and I swear to god I thought my guts were going to fall out. A tsunami wave of nausea rolled up from that horrible sinking pressure and hit my stomach like a geyser. I dry heaved and sank lower to the floor as my mind was overtaken by one silent demand:

Push!

"Newt-!" was all I managed to gasp.

And then I was bearing down with all my strength.

I'd never felt anything more intense in my life. It was an unholy demon pressing down on me, and I had no choice but to submit.

A scream -- a full, honest-to-god scream -- ripped itself free of my throat. I rested just long enough to inhale, and then I was pushing again, my chin pressed to my chest. I felt a shift deep inside, pressing against my lower spine. Something was prying me open. Something was slipping its way down.

I screamed again as the realization finally dawned on me: Something was coming out!

"Fawn?!" I heard his frantic voice, but my vision was haloed in black. "Fawn, talk to me!"

I held onto Newt as my lifeline, until I ran out of the strength to push anymore. "Help me!" I panted, hugging him closer. "God, please help me!"

"What is it?!"

"I'm fucking turning inside out!" I cried, growling as I pushed the object lower into my pelvis.

At first, I was convinced my colon or something was about to pop out like a fucked up horror movie; but I felt the object heading to a different area of my body. I could feel my swollen labia pushing out into my pad.

"Augh, I think it's my uterus!" I sobbed as I strained -- unable to stop myself in both regards. "That's what's falling out!"

"What the fuck?!" Newt cried. "That can happen?!"

"Yes!"

"Oh, shit!" Newt jumped up and began circling the kitchen. "Where the hell is my phone?! I'm calling 9-1-1!"

"Please fucking do!" I yelled, dropping to all fours as Newt hurried to look for his phone in the living room.

Forbidding myself to push was like forbidding myself to breathe. It simply had to happen. Tears flowed from my eyes as I was forced to push out one of my own internal organs. Not just any organ, the one that would end my dream of having a family once it was gone.

This was hell. I was in hell.

My hips tried to jerk away from the pain as the object began to force itself though my vagina. I felt the object pressing against my pad as I pushed, and I wondered if it would be enough to hold it in. Maybe if I could somehow keep it inside me, the doctors would be able to pull it back in.

The next push told me I had no other choice but it let it out. What was happening was happening fast. Too fast. Too fast! Oh, fuck! I felt my skin yawn open and pull tight, creating a hellish burn that made me scream myself hoarse.

I hiked my pants down and craned my neck to see between my legs. The first thing I saw was a long strand of pink-red mucous clinging to my bulging lips for a few seconds, before dripping down onto the pad at my knees.

I saw a hint of something beginning to breech out of me. It was fleshy and covered in blood. It was somewhat blue colored and wrinkled, and I was terrified. My inside-out uterus was coming out of me, and I couldn't bear the sight.

I shut my eyes tight and screamed through another huge push. I had a flash of the thought: "Since when was my uterus this big? Isn't it supposed to be small?" But it was gone before I could dwell on it.

Newt's footsteps ran back into the kitchen.

"Okay, I found-."

Both his voice and his footsteps came to a screeching halt as they entered the room. I heard something drop to the ground, and it sounded like the heavy-duty casing Newt kept on his cellphone.

"Holy fucking shit . . . !" Newt's voice was muffled, as if he was pressing his hand to his mouth.

"If it's really bad, don't tell me," I begged through gritted teeth, a small sob jolting my shoulders.

Newt didn't say anything, but I heard him drop to his knees in front of me. I opened my eyes and saw him spreading a hand towel from the sink over his lap.

"It's not that bad," he said, taking my arms and adjusting them so I was holding onto his shoulders. His voice was uncanny -- it was obvious he was pretending to be calm.

Newt draped the towel over his hands and my heart dropped.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked.

"Don't worry. I've got you covered," he said. "Just push."

"Newt?" I asked, turning my face towards his. My heart was starting to pound behind my eyes. "What's happening to me?"

I didn't see him smile, but his tone remained steady. "It'll be okay, Fawn. I promise."

I gripped his arms tighter as another pain started. "Oh god, I'm dying, aren't I?" I groaned. I wasn't even scared at the thought -- at this point, death felt like the only end to this pain. I'd all but accepted it.

"You're not dying, Fawn," Newt said, brushing his cheek against mine. His fledging facial hair tickled. "You're fine, you just need to push."

Sighing, I lowered my forehead to his shoulder and followed my body's demands. The stretch continued, grew worse by the second, until something round and squishy slipped out and dangled between my thighs.

God, it was finally over.

All we had to do was call an ambulance and they could take me to surgery. However this happened, there was still a chance my uterus could be saved. My dream didn't have to be - !

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck, I was still pushing!

I screamed into Newt's body as my burning lips spread further over something wide for a few white-hot seconds. There was a disgusting splash that gushed over my inner thighs, followed by the softest little 'plop'.

I was empty. I felt hollow and numb. My body buzzed, but it felt dead. I was left gasping in deep breaths to steady my racing heart, staring off into nothing over Newt's shoulder. My eyes burned from sweat pouring down my brow.

"Fawn," Newt said -- his voice sounded miles away, "look."

"I don't wanna look at it," I sighed, wiping my face on my sleeve.

That's when she cried for the first time.

A warbled little mewl flew up to meet my ears.

I looked down, in the space between Newt and I . . . and I screamed.

A blue cord of flesh was hanging between my legs, coated in blood. It trailed down in a soft arch to the towel sitting on Newt's lap, where I saw the answer to every question I'd had that day.

Laying there between Newt's hands, squirming and screaming and blue, was a wrinkly newborn baby.

She was a girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End of Part 1 of 2

Author's Note: Thank you for reading Part 1! This is by far the longest fic I've written thus far. It's so long that I had to split it into two chapters! Part 2 will be available very soon. This story will be available on my AO3 page, just like all of my other fics! Feel free to follow me or any of my stories there under the same name.

[thebetawolfgirl]

Bonding Time pt9

Pairing: Timmy x Reader

Warnings: Smut, Smut and then some more smut!

A/N: A bit later than I wanted to post it, but it’s been nonstop today!

Bonding Time part 9

Y/n looked at her outfit in the mirror and sighed as Timmy watched from the bed, she quickly stripped and tossed the dress aside grabbing another one.

‘Baby, you’ve tried eight dresses on so far, just pick one. You will look beautiful no matter what you wear.’

‘I don’t actually know why I’m so stressed out about this. We’ve met with mom’s friends hundreds of times-‘

‘But not as a couple, last time you saw them we were at each other’s throats, literally. Anyway, who cares what your mom’s friends think? None of them can judge.’

‘One of them is Sarah’s mother, Timmy! And Stacey’s mom will be there too you know.’

Timmy rolled his eyes lighting a cigarette. ‘Imagine my fear! I broke it off with Stacey weeks ago. She’ll be with her next plaything already. Not my problem if she hasn’t told her mother yet.’

Y/n finally settled on a blood red halter dress and walked over to him pinching his smoke and putting it out, before he pulled her on top of him kissing her.

‘That’s a lovely dress did someone buy it for you?’ He asked smirking wrapping his arms around her.

She smirked back. ‘Yes my boyfriend did.’

‘Ahh he has good taste.’ He smiled and sat up with her on his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist.

‘We do this today and that’s us. We’re done with the sneaking around and keeping secrets, we can be ourselves.’

‘That will be nice. Just Sarah to deal with then.’

She played with the buttons of his shirt watching him as he rolled his eyes.

‘Fuck her, she’s insignificant now. If she has an issue after all this time she can complain about it to her therapist. And none of that family can judge, her mother was her father’s apprentice and young assistant who he knocked up while he was still married to his first wife.’

Y/n sighed nodding and pecked his lips gently smiling before moving off him.

‘We need to get going, we don’t want to be late.’

‘I’m going to show you off to everyone. I don’t give a fuck who doesn’t like it. All those old ladies can all go to hell. Except Elaine, of course.’ He smiled standing up and kissed her hand.

She smiled back and left the apartment together.

When they arrived at the restaurant everyone was already seated and were waiting for them before ordering, y/n saw Sarah and Emma were both there and chose to ignore her and squeezed Timmy’s hand for support.

She knew he was curious as to why they were both there but Stacey was nowhere to be seen.

Y/n also knew that Timmy would now be full on with his affection just to rub it in Sarah’s face and she had no issue with that.

Y/n looked around at the surprised faces of her mother’s friends and smiled.

‘Are we ordering then? I’m starving!’

She states grabbing a menu and sharing it with Timmy.

‘Is that all you have to say?’ Sarah blurted out.

‘Are you really going to make a scene, therefore embarrassing your mother in front of all her friends in the middle of a busy restaurant Sarah?’

Sarah stopped and looked over at her mother who was glaring. Y/n leaned over to Sarah’s mother smiling ‘By the way Mrs Winston, I forgot to say when I came in, I love your stole, is it new?’

‘Oh yes, thank you dear for noticing. Mr Winston bought it for me while he was in Italy last month.’

‘It’s so beautiful. It’s so lovely to have someone who spoils you with such wonderful gifts isn’t it?’

She looks over smiling at Timmy, ‘Timmy is always spoiling with lovely things, just last week he surprised me by taking me on a boat ride, with a beautiful view of the entire city. Then we had a picnic in Central park. He’s always doing things like that for me.’

‘Well that’s all that matters y/n, finding someone who cherishes and respects you and treats you like royalty is very important.’ Mrs Winston smiled and patted y/n’s hand as her daughter looked on shocked ‘Mom their parents are MARRIED! It’s wrong!’

‘Love is wrong, Sarah?’ She challenged her daughter with a raised eyebrow.

‘You know, dear if you spent a little less time being so interested in everyone else’s business and began living your own life, you could find a love like theirs. You could find a little bit of happiness of your own.’

Sarah looked down and crossed her arms across her chest now in a huff.

Y/n rolled her eyes at her friend’s childishness and immaturity as the food was set down in front of them.

The fact that Mrs Winston who was the most judgemental woman in her mother’s circle was accepting of them was a huge thing, so y/n relaxed and enjoyed her meal.

Timmy lay his hand on y/n’s leg when the first course was finished and raised it up higher slightly under the hem of her dress.

‘Forgive me, but can someone show me to the little boy’s room?’

Y/n wiped her mouth with her napkin and stood up,

‘I’ll show you, I need to reapply my lipstick anyway.’

She smiled at everyone as she led Timmy to the restrooms, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her into another room off to the side and shoved her against the wall attacking her neck and slid his fingers up her dress.

She gasped loudly and wrapped her arms around his shoulders before pulling him up crushing her lips against his in a hungry kiss, he ran his hands up her thighs and grabbed her ass before pulling her underwear off her as she worked on undoing his belt and pants and shoving them down his legs as he picked her up by her thighs and carried her over to a nearby desk making sure not to trip over his pants around his ankles and lay her down breaking the kiss before burying himself balls deep into her already soaking folds.

She gasps and bit her lip to keep from screaming and dug her nails into the desk underneath her, as she felt him going deep repeatedly driving into her hard enough her entire body rocked against his thrusts.

‘T-Timmy don’t s-stop!’ She stammered panting. She reached up and grabbed his shirt pulling him down and kissed him hard as he tucked his arm under her back and ground his hips against hers before pulling her up to sit on the edge of the desk and grabbed her hips as she wrapped her arms around his neck as he moved his mouth down her throat pulling her closer against him as he continued to slam his dick into her over and over again.

They fell back together against the table with a dull thud and came in a powerful orgasm together clinging to each other as he buried his face against her neck his hot breath panting against her skin. He lightly dragged his nails down her back leaving light scratch marks on her skin.

She slid her hand up his back under his shirt feeling the damp skin and droplets of sweat rolling down, he hissed against her ear and trails his tongue up her neck before nipping the shell of her ear. She shivered against him catching her breath and wrapped her legs around his waist resting her feet against the edge of the desk as he left wet open mouth kissed along her jaw before reaching her lips and pushed his tongue inside her mouth.

She gripped his jaw and returned the kiss hungrily, running her fingers through his curls.

They broke apart and he helped her up and off the desk before fixing himself quickly, as she fixed her make up and hair, she was looking for her underwear when she saw him with them in his mouth between his teeth looking at her with her devilish gleam in his eye.

She walked over and tried to grab them back but he moved his head away and instead shoved them in his back pocket smirking.

‘You can’t be serious? Timmy give them to me.’ She looked at him shocked as he walked towards the door, she followed him and caught up with him before he could reach for the handle and blocked the door before grabbing him opening his top button and biting down hard on his skin near his collarbone, making him hiss and release a squeak of surprise before he fell against her his forehead against the door behind her as she continued to leave her mark on him.

She was going to be the death of him, he was now completely convinced of it. She was the only woman in this world who could bite him and he became a puddle worth absolutely nothing. She was more addicting than an Class A drug.

In fact who needed Heroin when she bit him that way, she turned his head and kissed him firmly.

She pulled away and opened the door smirking before turning away as he fixed his collar with trembling hands and followed her fixing his hair.

They returned to the table and no one was none the wiser about where they were. In fact when Timmy sat down the women were talking about the latest fashion on the rails right now and Sarah must’ve left early.

Afterwards when they were heading home Timmy wanted to take her back to his where they would have no unwanted visitors and he could have her all to himself tonight.

‘Ok, it would be actually nice to be together without people letting themselves into my apartment as if they live there.’

So they went to his apartment and the moment he got in he had her over his shoulder and carrying her to the bedroom. ‘I want you again!’

He tossed her onto the bed and flipped her onto her stomach and untied her dress from the back before leaning down and biting her shoulder blade making her gasp, she sat up and turned to him grabbing his shirt ripping it open hearing the buttons tear of and scatter everywhere. He grabbed her by her throat before tossing her backwards and removed her dress in one sweep throwing it on the floor and undressed himself, climbing over her.

She ran her fingers up his chest lightly coming to his bite mark and pressing her fingertip against it firmly, making him hiss before pushing into her slowly, making her eyes roll back. He groaned watching her come undone, and began thrusting into her as she reached for him to hold him against her. He melted into her arms his breathing becoming laboured as she held onto him while he thrust into her.

She gasps audibly against his shoulder as she ran her hands down his sides and gripped his hips to signal him to go harder.

She gripped his hips digging her nails into his flesh as he rut in harder than ever, burying his face further against her neck. She knew his waist and hips would be covered in bruises from her fingertips but she had never had him go this deep or hard before.

She ran her hands up his back and dug her nails into his skin scratching him as she panted against his shoulder before leaning down and ran her tongue over his bite mark and he groaned against her and slammed faster into her before grabbing her waist shoving her further up the mattress and flipping them pulling her on top of him without pulling out of her and made her ride him.

She pushed her hands against his chest and rocked against him hard causing the bed to rock against the back wall, as he gripped her waist tightly groaning before he pulled her down and kissed her hard as she rode him as hard as she could.

This was the second time they had gone this intense before, Timmy had rode her so hard today people would definitely see her nail marks on that desk, now she was riding him into the mattress where the bed was moving on it’s own and they both knew the wall behind the bed would be chipped and/or scraped.

It was the fact that people knew now, they wouldn’t need to hide anymore and they could walk around like a proper couple that got them crazy. They came in another earth shattering orgasm panting each other’s names over and over, her hair was sticking to her skin as they tried to catch their breathes, he pulled her up against him and bit down on her neck hard hearing her gasp audibly and grip his hair.

‘Argh! T-Tim.’ He flipped them onto their side and sucked her neck hard making sure to leave a mark, before letting go and kissing up her jawline as she ran her fingers through his curls massaging his scalp, causing him to nuzzle her neck.

‘Y/n.’ He whispers her name like a prayer as he rubs his hands over her back, she pulls on his curls gently causing him to moan her name again. They pulled apart slightly and looked at each other in the dark bedroom before he rolled them letting her lay on her stomach and crawling to lay on her back and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Everyone knew now. Well everyone that was important. They no longer needed to hide. Both their parents new, y/n’s mother’s friends knew, they hadn’t heard anything from Emma but they weren’t too worried about it. Sarah didn’t approve still but they didn’t care about her.

Now it was their own friends group, all they had to do was go ‘public’ so to speak. But this was a whole new adventure they couldn’t wait to explore together.

@sufferingstarlight

@gatoenlaciudad

@kteezy997

@lixzey

@tchalamss

@mel-vaz

[kellyvela]

Sophie's Hon Vol. IV Paris Fashion Week Edition 🇫🇷

Welcome back to this series in time for the lovebirds' return to Paris, the City of Love, the same the city where we saw them kiss for the first time.

A lot of their most romantic pics yet and some sexy stuff under the cut!

WINE ME, DINE ME, SIXTY NINE ME . . . .

The first sight of Sophie and Perry in Paris was on Sunday, March 3th, while they were leaving Le Bristol Hotel to attend a especial dinner:

Here we can see Sophie with Danielle Haim and Jamie Mizrahi at FRAME Paris Fashion Week Dinner, held at Caviar Kaspia Restaurant:

On their return to their hotel, Sophie was pictured very happy and relaxed and holding Perry's black jumper:

I guess Sophie was looking at Perry in these pictures, he seems to make her laugh and smile a lot 😊

Now, we don't know when the lovebirds arrived in Paris, but while these pictures were appearing on the internet, I was alerted by anon message that Sophie had created a playlist with a very particular name just the day before (Saturday, March 2th) . . . . 👀 🙈 🤭

Here some songs that stand out:

These lips can't wait to taste your skin, baby, no, no And these eyes, yeah, can't wait to see your grin, ooh, ooh, baby Just let my love Just let my love adorn you Please baby, yeah —Adorn by Miguel

Oh lá lá . . . . 💋

Whispered something in your ear It was a perverted thing to say But I said it anyway Made you smile and look away Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby Nothing's gonna take you from my side —Nothing's gonna hurt you Baby by Cigarettes After Sex

I guess Paris brings out passion in lovers . . . . 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

~~~

YOUR CLOTHES LOOK BETTER ON ME . . . .

The next day, Monday, March 4th, Sophie and Perry went to the Louis Vuitton Paris La Samaritaine store, probably for Sophie's outfit fitting for the next day show:

On their return to their hotel, they went on a very romantic stroll through the City of Love, holding hands, walking by le Pont des Arts, sitting on benches to exchange clothes, and being the most affectioned with each other . . . .

Oh my heart . . . . Why are they so cute and sweet and lovely???

OK, so when they actually arrive to their hotel, Sophie was wearing Perry's green jacket that looks so big on her, and I love it!

I know, Sophie, I know . . . . It's so nice to smell the scent of the person we love on us . . . .

Oh, to be young and in love . . . . in Paris 💕

~~~

GIRAFE & COSTES

During the night of Monday, March 4th, Sophie and Perry were seen at Girafe restaurant, and later at Costes restaurant.

There are several videos of Sophie being so nice and sweet with her fans waiting for her at her hotel door and at those restaurants doors. She took pictures and videos and sent greetings for a lot of lucky fans. You can watch it here & here.

In those videos you can see that Perry's friend, Rupert Gorst, joined them that night. He is the same friend that travelled with them to ski in Meribel.

In those videos you can also see that Sophie left Costes restaurant with a Glowery bag. Glowery is a brand founded by Alexandra Kolasinski (a long time friend of Sophie's ex husband), so Sophie probably met with her at Costes. I'm mentioning this just to reiterate that the "cheating allegations" are a made up narrative.

OK, let's see the pictures!

Leaving Girafe:

Loving the way Perry is holding Sophie's hand in these pictures . . . .

Leaving Costes:

Lol at Rupert waving his hand to the paps in the back 😂

Here's another video of them leaving Costes, via Backdrid with Game of Thrones theme lol

I like how Perry is the last to leave, several steps behind her and Rupert and he opted to read his phone to avoid the paps pictures . . . . Also, how lovely and polite Sophie is with fans and paps!

Now to the main event!

~~~

LOUIS VUITTON WOMEN'S FALL-WINTER 2024 SHOW - PARIS FASHION WEEK - TUESDAY, MARCH, 5th 2024

No Perry sighting during the Show, just lovely Sophie in Louis Vuitton.

Here's a picture of Sophie's Glam shared by Christian Wood:

Here's Sophie arriving at Musée du Louvre, arm in arm with Chioma Nnadi, the new head of editorial content for British Vogue 👀 👀 👀

Chioma Nnadi also attended FRAME Paris Fashion Week Dinner, held at Caviar Kaspia Restaurant the night before, so maybe they met there.

Here's Sophie posing for photographers:

Here's Sophie being interviewed by Alexa Chung:

You can watch a little bit of the interview here!

Here's an official picture shared by Louis Vuitton:

Here's a picture of Sophie inside the Show:

Here's Sophie for Brithis Vogue:

She looks so happy and lovely ❤️

Before the Show started, Sophie was chatting with Anna Wintour and posed for pictures with singer Lisa, member of Blackpink, and actress Ana de Armas. You can se the video here.

Here's Sophie, Anna Wintour and Cynthia Erivo watching the Show:

Here a few of my favorite pictures of Sophie from the day:

Gorgeous!

Hopefully we will have Sophie on a Vogue cover soon and also attending the MET Gala!!!

She's an angel 👼

Straight out of a Renaissance painting, right?

Loveher so much ❤️

~~~

MAXIM'S

After the Show, Sophie and Perry were seen leaving Maxim's restaurant where Louis Vuitton held an after party:

During the after party, Sophie was seen next to singer Felix from Stray Kids and Nicolas Ghesquiere, while listening to singer Zaho de Sagazan performing her song La symphonie des éclairs on the piano.

Rupert Gorst joined Sophie and Perry for the after party as well. They sure had a blast.

There is a lot more of Sophie from the Show but Tumblr doesn't let me upload more material 😭

I'm gonna leave you a few links tho:

More Sophie from Vogue Germany! - Similar video from Vogue Italia! It seems Vogue is promoting her a lot!

More Sophie from Madame Figaro France!

Sophie posing for photographers pre Show! - Same video from TikTok! She's so lovely!

Sophie Turner & Chloe Grace Moretz!

Sophie leaving the Show & interacting with fans! Love her so much ❤️

Another video of Sophie leaving the Show!

~~~

You can read the previous editions here: Vol. III - Vol. II - Vol. I

I'm going to update this post as new content appears.

[notesfromthepalace]

Some Things are Not for Tea Time

My Father once said "... people will hate you [and be jealous of you] because they see you with a new nail set every week, not knowing you do your own nails at home to save money".

Let me explain:

What my Father was trying to convey is people will dislike you over the smallest things i.e. like me doing my nails on my own every Saturday morning to save money (back in my college days), but jealously having an effect on their perception; "Oh she has so much money she gets her nails done every week" - then going into the rabbit hole of assumptions just because they are choosing to dislike me.

Again, as I always say, this blog is for the girls who get it, because if you don't, the first two paragraphs will go right over your head (if it hasn't already) and you will be lost in the sauce the entirety of this blog post.

But for the girlies who get it: the nice, mind your business, your man and money type of girls who stay prayed up but don't tempt me to jump because "knuck if you buck".

Yes, you darling!|

Hey friend!

So, just to be clear, if you did not know: not every woman who smiles in your face is your friend, and not every compliment comes from a place of being genuine.

That being said, not every woman you have conversations with should be privy to every good thing that happens in your life - to include your plans for the future.

I believe I have touched on this subject before but the more and more I vet my social circle and distance myself from certain people, the more and more apparent how important it is to safe guard the things that are so precious me.

Story Time! *Mariah Carey voice

Over the last few months, I have received a vast amount of good news and there have been new things, new investments, and new moves. But recently, certain people have been reaching out to me to inquire about my whereabouts, my love life and so on.

To be quite frank, it is none of their business.

So myself and my African Prince have gone for holiday in Times Square, met each other's close families and friends and have started to move as one - 2024 is going to be a movie (if you know what I mean).

God has been really great to me and through prayer, and learning to be more discreet with what I am working towards, my dreams and visions are coming to fruition. For example, last year I bought my first pair of Christian Louboutin heels:

I didn't do a "show-in-tell" or an unboxing. No tea no shade to people who do that, I just chose not to. I wore the hell out of these shoes though! The photo above is from my Ghanian Sweetheart taking me to The W in Bellevue for date night. But when I bought the first pair, I told myself that I would have the pumps, this time next year - it's this time next year, is it not?

My African King was literally in my mind. He got me the very shoes that I told myself I would have by December 2023!

There was a time I was doing hair and make-up on the side for some extra money. I'm aware that there are plenty of girls who had my address who may not be the finest company. So I didn't want to post the nice things I had or the nice things my man would do for me before someone tries to rob me - jealous people do that.

I am currently enjoying the Christmas Holiday with my man in our home away from the city and during this time of love and bliss, I received a call from a girl I used to be close with.

She called me on FaceTime - in tears (and inebriated) asking why we don't hangout, how come she doesn't know what's going on in my life, why I don't call her; Then goes on to insult the girls I do hangout with like "you only hang out with your boujie friends, yeah I saw that you went to the Powder Room" - like yeah I did go to the Powder Room (very nice restaurant by the way) because I was invited by a friend to go. Like I have said in previous posts, I frequent high-end establishments all of the time.

Don't get me wrong, a part of me felt bad bad because I genuinely like and care for the girl. But as I was evolving, she would ridicule the changes that she saw and insinuate that I was acting like I was better than her or the other girls we used to go out with.

To put things into perspective, she and I started hanging out when I dumped my ex. And I remember I called her on a Saturday morning and she was surprised, like "What, you're calling to go out with us tonight? We always ask you to come out and you say 'no'".

She was right, I would typically say no, but I didn't want to be one of those girls who sits in their flat and cries because they just went through a breakup. I was ready to go to the club and just be out. I needed to take my mind off of the hurt. So we went to club that night.

But, in my typical Sarah Chanel fashion, I got tired of the club quick. I don't mind it from time to time, in a section with my girlies from back home. But I remember the last time we went to the club, she got kicked out for being drunk and disorderly.

I was low-key cool off the entire situation. I was also going through my own personal evolution and changing what I do, how eat, the places I frequent - just for her to ridicule the changes. That was another reason why I distanced myself. As a friend, I wasn't asking her to do the things I was doing or to change herself; I would've loved her support though. My best friend and I have been friends of over a decade and when I would talk to her about taking my walk with God more seriously, she didn't make me feel bad for it or act weird, even as a person like herself who isn't extremely religious - she supported me from afar, so I know it's not impossible or an extreme ask.

Not to mention she would put me in compromising positions like trying to hook me up with a man that she knew was in a fully committed relationship with another woman, or acting a complete fool in a restaurant and yelling at the waiter.

So naturally I distanced myself. And to be fair, she's not the only person I distanced myself from. Over these last two years, I have seen so much change in my outlook on life, my spiritual life and walk with God, my ideas and interests, my love life and so on.

I am also of the understanding that everyone you meet can not go on your journey, especially if they choose to remain in the same place mentally, that they were in back in 2022 - we are on the brink of 2024, become anew.

Take tips from my blog, it'll help.

And I don't say that to be a mean girl.

I want to see all women, especially young women of color evolve and be of their higher selves. But I can't make the horse drink the water if it doesn't even want to come to the well.

With less than a week left in 2023, leave the need of giving everyone an explanation in 2023 - ITS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!

For the girlies who have already been living their lives in luxe and love, keep doing it.

But for the girls who don't know where to start, sissy pooh, start at Notes From the Palace. And will it be lonely someone times, yes. Will your character be questioned by people that you thought were your friends, yes. But will the grass be greener on the other side, YES!

Happy New Year and I pray all of my readers, even the low key haters have a year of prosperity, peace, love and money

With Love,

Sarah Chanel

P.S.

You see that shoe! I almost forgot the most important part. Walk with Jesus, for real. And I will be walking right along our Lord and Father Jesus Christ for the rest of my life because all of the great things I have obtained and will achieve are all in thanks to the Most High! Stay prayed up!

[zadig-fate]

Me and my Poland tour bestie (noriko_743 on ig) were reflecting on our insane week following the guys around and realised that we basically did a speedrun on the entire JO fangirl checklist.

It was Nori's first in-person JO gig ever at Warsaw 1 (!!!)

We got barricade for the first time in both our lives

Nori got photos and hugs with ALL the guys

I got a guitar pick in Wrocław!

We sang Umazane Misli with Bojan at Warsaw 2

Bojan actually recognised me in Poznań and Prague and remembered what we'd talked about in Wrocław 🙀

Nori got handwritten lyrics from Bojan for a tattoo

Nori's ig story got reposted by Kris!

We both ended up in Vita's photos on the band's official account

We ran into the guys "in the wild", i.e. out in the city during the day

We got the live debut of a new iconic outfit (all-white Kris)

We saw all (I think all?) the Stožice outfits in person

We saw the Demoni scream and Kris NGVOT in person

I was the numbers person / unofficial "queue manager" for the pre-wristband queue at Warsaw 2 and Poznań

We participated in fan actions that the guys really appreciated (shoutout jokeroutpolska for organising)

I met lots of tumblr mutuals 🥰

I met a bunch of people I have plans to see again in Munich, The Hague and Amsterdam

Like... it's crazy just how much happened in this last week. And there was no one show where we got everything, or nothing. Every single gig had something special to offer. So if you're wondering whether it's "worth" following JO around on tour... it really, really is. The experiences you have and the people you meet are incredible.

Speaking of, here are some other unforgettable tour experiences that will stick with me for a long time to come:

Nori and I only met at the hostel before Warsaw 1, and she wasn't even planning to come to that show, she only had a ticket for Warsaw 2! But I talked her into getting a cheap resale ticket for Warsaw 1, and she queued with me, and she loved it so much she immediately bought tickets for Wrocław and Poznań too, so we booked hotels together for the rest of the tour.

I literally just met Nori last week?? But we spent nearly every minute together between Warsaw 1 and Poznań, dealing with the highest highs and lowest lows of tour life, and it now feels like we've been friends for ages.

After the fucking absurd queue situation at Wrocław (4:45am and #45, WTF????) we decided that after the show, we would wait outside for the boys and then head straight for Poznań in my car. So we literally drove through the night with our new friend Safursey and formed the start of the Poznań queue.

Our hotel in Poznań wasn't ready until 2pm so we literally just took turns queuing and sleeping in my car. Nori and Safursey let me have the first sleeping shift since I drove us overnight.

I think we only slept between 15-20 hours total over 8 days???

I'm actually glad I got to experience a cursed gig (Prague) where everything went wrong. Seeing how professionally the guys reacted and how smoothly things were resolved made me appreciate just how experienced and calm they are.

Nori and I were unknowingly the centre of a major Twitter outrage after Warsaw 2 because someone accused us of stealing the microphone after Umazane Misli. Neither of us are on Twitter so we didn't even know about this controversy, but someone was clearly accusing us (and it was definitely us from the context) of stealing the microphone to sing, even though we had a sign asking to sing UM and Bojan was obviously pointing at us to get the microphone next (which is clear to see in all the videos of that moment).

Our friend Safursey deleted her Twitter account after Prague because people who were not there were spreading all kinds of insane rumours and unfounded accusations about the queue and Bojan's ig stories and refused to be corrected by the people who were actually involved. She got so much hate for explaining what was actually happening on the ground that she left the platform entirely, so that should tell you how toxic Twitter is.

I was feeling like such utter shit after the drama in Prague that I didn't even want to attend the concert anymore, but Safursey and @thisismyobsessionnow (Nori didn't come to Prague) came to comfort me and convinced me to still come to the gig, and I really appreciate that.

Overall an emotional roller coaster, but one I wouldn't give up for anything. We had SO much fun and met SO many people. I would do it again any time.

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Tarlos @flufftober day 2: Friends, Family, Loved Ones

Sister (AO3) TK meets Carlos' sister, just not in the way they expected

Look at me posting on time again! (don't get used to it)

---

“We’re getting married in 6 days and I haven’t met his sister yet. That’s weird right? That’s weird.” TK was pacing up and down the firehouse kitchen and Nancy was close to strangling him.

“You’re meeting her tomorrow, aren’t you? So even if it was weird, it’s not anymore.” She looked to the rest of the crew for help.

“Yeah… but what if she doesn’t like me? What if she thinks I’m not good enough for Carlos?” TK paused and ran a hand through his hair. “I hurt him so much with the loft… What if she hates me? What if she’s going to tell Carlos not to marry me?”

“Dude, stop stressing, Carlos really isn’t going to call off the wedding at the last minute because his sister doesn’t like you.” Nancy sighed.

“What if she’s going to make him choose between her and me?”

“Why would she? And what makes you think Carlos wouldn’t choose you?”

“Yeah man, I’ve never seen two people more in love than you and Carlos.” Paul chimed in and the others agreed.

“Exactly.” Nancy said, putting her hands on TK’s shoulders. “So stop stressing. You’re going to marry that man in a week and -”

“Six days.” TK interrupted and Nancy rolled her eyes at him.

“You’re going to marry that man in 6 days and everything will be fine and you’ll be your own horribly loved up selves and calling each other husband all the time.”

“Yeah. You’re right. Yeah.”

“Of course I’m right.” Nancy sat down again. “I’m always right.”

“Hmm… Maybe I should buy some flowers?”

“For the sister?”

“Yes? I bought flowers for Andrea when I officially met her and Gabriel for the first time…”

“I suppose that could be a nice touch…”

“But then I’d have to buy flowers for Andrea and his other sister too. And then I’d show up with just three bouquets and nothing for Gabriel? I should get something for him too right?”

“Maybe forget about the presents. Just be yourself. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Judd told him. “You already know his parents, those are the ones you want to have on board.”

“And they love you. I’ve never heard anyone use as many pet names as Andrea Reyes any time she’s near you.” Paul pointed out.

TK nodded.

He knew his friends were right, but he couldn’t help but worry. He wanted the whole of Carlos’ family to like him.

“Look, the way I see it, you’re marrying Carlos, not his family.” Judd said, trying to get through to TK.

“I know… but I want them to like me. He’s had such a complicated relationship with his family, I don’t want to ruin that when he’s finally in a good place with them.”

“And why wouldn’t they like you? You’re a little shit sometimes but you’ve got a good heart.”

“And Carlos loves you.” Nancy reminded him.

TK bit his lip.

“I hate it when you go all rational on me and start making sense.” He said and everyone laughed.

Suddenly Tommy came running down the stairs.

“Medical, gear up, we have to go.”

“What? Why? I haven’t heard the bell?” Nancy commented.

“It’ll ring soon. There was a car accident nearby. At least two cars involved, drivers statuses unknown as of yet. Let’s go.”

“Wait, cap… how do you know?”

“I was on the phone with Grace when it happened.”

“Gracie was in an accident?” Judd asked, worried.

“No, she just saw it happen on the way home from her shift. She’s fine Juddy.” Tommy patted his chest. “Ok medical, let’s go!”

Just as they were getting into the ambulance, the alarm went off, calling not only medical but also fire and rescue to the accident.

“Must’ve been a big crash.” Nancy commented, buckling her seat belt. “But hey, maybe Carlos will be at the scene too and he can tell you to stop worrying.”

“Yeah, maybe. Depends on where in the city he is… they send the unit that’s closest to these things.” TK said, checking the mirrors before starting the engine. “You know he’s working up until the day before the wedding?!”

“So? As long as he’s not working the day of… I don’t see the problem.” Nancy shrugged, putting on gloves as they pulled out of the station and made their way to the scene of the accident.

APD was already on the scene, though unfortunately Carlos was on crowd control and couldn’t give them more than a quick nod in passing.

An officer TK recognised from the APD barbeque brought them up to speed.

“We’re hearing that guy ran a red light and crashed into the other car. The driver seems mostly in one piece, though likely under the influence, the passenger wasn’t wearing a seat belt so that got kind of ugly.” The officer told them and pulled a mildly disgusted face. “My kids are never getting in a car without their seatbelt on… or their feet on the dashboard.”

“Right. And the other car?” Tommy asked.

“One driver, a pregnant woman, she’s stuck. The airbag deployed but the car is pretty banged up. She’s awake and responsive though.”

“Ok. Nancy you go check out the drunk driver and the passenger, TK and I will take the pregnant woman.” Tommy decided. “And radio for a second ambulance.”

“Got it cap.” Nancy replied and went with the officer as TK and Tommy went to check out the other driver.

“Hi there, my name is Tommy, this is TK, what’s your name?”

“Luisa.”

“Hi Luisa, how far along are you?”

“Almost 8 months... My doctor said I was still ok to travel.”

“I don’t think your doctor thought any of this would happen.” TK said as he tried to get into the car from the other side.

“Are you in any pain?” Tommy asked the woman.

“I… uh… a little I guess. My legs… I can’t move my legs. And I’m having cramps… and I think… I uh… wet myself… in the crash… but it can’t be labour yet, can it?”

“Let’s hope not.” Tommy said, giving the woman a reassuring smile. “Judd, I need your guys here to get Luisa out!”

“I need to get a c-collar on her but I can’t get in.” TK told Judd. “Can you guys open up the door on the other side first?”

“We can do that.” Judd confirmed and took a quick look at the state of the car. “This thing is pretty banged up, but we can do it. We can take the roof off.”

“No, please don’t. This is a rental.” Luisa told them. “I’m only in town for my brother’s wedding.”

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I don’t think you’ll be getting your deposit back in any case.” Judd replied. “Just hang tight, we’ll have you out in a tick.” He said and started instructing his team.

“Is there anyone we can call for you?” TK asked. “Partner? Family? Your brother?”

“No… the baby’s father is… not around… And my family… don’t know… I’m coming today. They’re not… expecting me… until tomorrow. My brother… is getting married… this weekend.”

“Are you having trouble breathing?” Tommy asked, noticing the slight shortness of breath as the woman was speaking.

“Uhm… a little. That’s bad… isn’t it?”

“It’s not ideal… but you’re in good hands. Try to stay calm.”

TK had managed to break the window on the passenger’s side and climbed into the car to put a c-collar on the woman’s neck.

“This will protect your neck and spine.” He explained as he quickly examined her. “Her legs are pinned cap, they’ll have to take the whole engine apart. No other visible injuries.” He turned to Luisa. “Can I touch your belly? To check on the baby.”

“Yeah, ok.” She replied and TK carefully put his hands on her belly, feeling for injuries, before grabbing his stethoscope and listening to both her heart and that of the baby.

“Your heart rate is a little fast, but that’s understandable.”

“And the baby?”

“Nothing unusual as far as I can tell.” He gave her a smile and climbed back out. “Diminished breath sounds, possible pneumothorax. Baby seems alright but I couldn’t get a clear heartbeat.” He told Tommy quietly. “We need to get her out quick.”

Tommy nodded and looked through the purse she’d found.

“Oh honey I’ve found your purse. Your phone is still in one piece. Do you have any medication in here you need? Any allergies?”

“I don’t… think… so…”

“Ok, that’s good. That’s what we like.” Tommy said and looked at Luisa’s driver’s license. “Uh Luisa, what is your brother’s name?” She asked, leaning into the car and taking her hand. Both to try and distract her and to check her pulse.

“Carlos… why? Do you know him?”

Tommy nodded.

“I believe I do. Is he an officer with APD?”

“Yes…”

“And do you know the name of the person he’s marrying?”

“Cap…”

“Uhm… it’s a double name… Tyler… I think… but he goes by… a nickname…”

“TK?”

“Yes, that’s it…”

TK pointed at the name on his uniform.

“Hi.”

“Oh… Uhm… Hi.”

“I think you’ve just met your soon to be brother in law.” Tommy said, amused. “Probably not the way you planned.”

“Not really…” Luisa craned her neck to look past Tommy to TK. “Is Carlos here too?”

“He’s on crowd control. Do you want me to go get him?”

“No… he’s working. It’s ok.”

TK nodded and glanced in the direction where he’d just seen Carlos.

“Ok, we’re ready to move.” Judd told them. “Do you need more hands, Tommy?”

“Yes, your guys can help transfer her onto the gurney.”

A few minutes later Luisa was being strapped in and carefully loaded onto the ambulance. Tommy quickly climbed in with her, stopping TK when he wanted to climb in after her.

“I can help Cap.” He protested

Tommy gave him a slightly exasperated look.

“TK, I need to examine her. We need some privacy.”

“Oh. Right. Got it, Cap.”

“Just go help Nancy with the other driver, I’ll radio when I’m done and we’re moving out.”

TK nodded and did as he was told, only not even 10 minutes later Tommy’s voice came over the radio, ordering both him and Nancy back to the ambulance.

“Everything alright back there, cap?” TK replied via the radio.

“The baby is impatient, she’s in labour. We need to get to hospital now.”

They rushed back and jumped in the ambulance, TK behind the wheel, Nancy in the back with Tommy.

They almost made it to hospital when Nancy banged on the little window behind TK’s head and told him to pull over.

“The baby is coming now. We need you back here.”

He parked the ambulance in the first available place he could find and quickly opened the back to help out.

“TK, come sit here and hold her hand.” Tommy ordered, getting up from her own seat to make room for him.

He did as he was told and grabbed Luisa’s hand.

“I know it’s scary but try to stay calm. Captain Vega and Nancy are badasses. They’re the best.”

Luisa nodded and squeezed his hand on another contraction.

“You’re doing great honey.” Tommy told her. “Your baby will be here soon.”

Not long after that, TK was wrapping a baby boy in a blanket after Tommy had quickly checked him over.

“Are you sure you don’t want to let your family know now? I can call Carlos. Or your mom.” He carefully passed the baby to Luisa.

“Ok… call Carlos.”

TK nodded and grabbed his phone and called Carlos’ number.

“Hey babe. Slow shift?” He answered almost right away.

“No, not exactly. Where are you?”

“On my way to the precinct. We just wrapped up at that accident. Why?”

“How fast can you get to hospital?”

“Hospital? TK what’s happened? Are you ok? Please don’t tell me we have to cancel the wedding because you got hurt?”

“No don’t worry baby, I’m fine.”

“Then what’s wrong?” Carlos asked and TK heard him moving around.

“Nothing’s really wrong. I just… I met your sister. Luisa.”

Carlos let out a sigh of relief.

“I don’t think so babe, she’s not coming until tomorrow.”

“No, she’s definitely here…” TK told him, trying to decide just how much of the rest of the day’s events he should tell him. “She was in an accident. We’re on the way to the hospital now.”

“Is she ok? Do my parents know?”

“No not yet. She asked me to call you.”

“Ok. Ok I’m on my way. Tell her I’m on my way. Are you going to Northwest?”

“Yeah, we’re maybe 5 minutes out. Drive safe baby.”

“Yeah, yeah, you too. Love you. Bye.”

As soon as they got to hospital, both Luisa and the baby were met by a team of doctors and nurses.

“We’ll take it from here.” One of the nurses said as they transferred Luisa to a hospital gurney.

“Wait, I’m family. I’m her brother.” TK said and a doctor looked back and forth between him and Luisa. “Brother in law, ok?” he said annoyed. “Can I come with her?”

“Sorry, medical staff only beyond these doors.” A nurse stepped in front of him. “I’ll come update you as soon as I can.”

“I am medical staff.” TK pointed at the logo on his uniform.

“Yes, but not in this hospital.” The nurse explained calmly. “As soon as I know anything, you’ll know too.” She gave him a quick smile and disappeared through the double doors leading to the ER.

“I’ve taken us off shift for now.” Tommy said, putting a hand on TK’s shoulder. “We’ll wait with you until Carlos gets here. And if you want us to stay after that, we’ll stay.”

“Thanks cap.”

Not long after the three of them had sat down, Carlos rushed into the hospital.

“TK! What happened? Is she ok?”

“She got hit by a drunk driver. The car was smashed up pretty badly but she was awake and responsive.” TK told him, rattling off facts like he would updating Tommy or Nancy. “Her legs were pinned under the steering column but nothing life threatening as far as I could tell.”

“Ok. Ok. Where is she now? Can I see her?”

“The doctors took her through to treat her. I’m sure someone will be out to update us soon. Why don’t you take a seat.” Tommy told him. “You know what hospitals are like.”

Carlos reluctantly sat down between TK and Tommy.

“Did she say anything? Why she’s here a day early? Does she know who you are?” He asked TK.

“Yeah… yeah she knows. But she didn’t really say anything… we were all a little preoccupied.”

“What do you mean? What aren’t you telling me?” Carlos asked, noticing the looks between TK, Tommy, and Nancy.

“I uh… I’m not really sure it’s my news to share.” TK said, taking Carlos’ hand. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.”

“That… does nothing to ease my mind.”

“She had a baby, ok? About an hour ago.” Nancy blurted out. “If she gets upset, just blame me.”

“What?”

“Yeah dude, you’re an uncle. She had a boy.”

“She what? I mean… is the baby ok?”

“Yep. As far as we could tell in the bus anyway.”

“I… I didn’t know she was dating anyone.” Carlos settled on, trying to process the information.

“She was with one guy at least once.” Nancy shrugged, ignoring the look TK gave her.

“Yeah… yeah I guess you’re right about that…”

“Luisa Reyes’ family?” A different nurse than the one from before asked as she walked into the waiting area.

“That’s us.” TK jumped up, pulling Carlos to his feet too. “We’re her brothers.”

“Alright. Well, your sister was lucky. No major injuries, just some cuts and scrapes, and she’ll probably be sore for a while, but she’s alright.”

“And the baby?”

“Also doing fine.” The nurse told them. “We’re keeping them overnight for observation but they should both be ready to go home tomorrow.”

“Can we see her?” Carlos asked.

“Sure, follow me.” She said and led them through the ER to a bed with the curtains drawn around it. The nurse opened the curtain. “I’ve got some visitors for you.” She told Luisa and stepped aside for Carlos and TK. “I’ll be back as soon as we’ve got a bed ready for you upstairs.”

“Hey, how are you feeling?” TK asked, sitting down on the stool next to the bed after the nurse had left.

“Tired. Sore.” Luisa replied and looked down at the little boy in her arms. “But happier than I’ve ever been.”

“I’m glad you’re both alright.” TK told her, reaching out to stroke the baby’s cheek.

“Aren’t you going to come say hello to your nephew, Carlitos?” Luisa asked Carlos who still stood frozen in place, right where he’d stepped through the curtain.

“Uh yeah, yeah, sorry. Of course. Yeah.” He stammered and stepped forward. “I’m just… why didn’t you say anything? Where is his dad? Who is his dad.”

“It’s complicated.” Luisa sighed. “I didn’t want anyone fussing over me. Mainly mom.”

“You know she isn’t going to let you out of her sight when she finds out. Either of you.” Carlos said and carefully leaned down to hug her and the baby.

“Yeah I know. But he deserves to be fussed over by his grandma. And mom will need a project after your wedding.” Luisa said, raising an eyebrow at Carlos. “I can’t believe my baby brother is getting married. And to a nice guy too!”

Carlos smiled and looked at TK who took his hand.

“Yeah. I didn’t think this is how you two would meet...”

“We could have met sooner if you had actually told me about him, mister oh by the way I’m getting married in 6 weeks.”

“You didn’t tell her about us until six weeks ago?” TK laughed. “We secured the date almost eight weeks ago!”

Carlos blushed and muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

“Ana told me a few things about you. And I’ve been meaning to look you up online… but I haven’t gotten around to that yet. I’ve been a little busy.” Louisa told TK.

“Well, I’m happy to tell you anything you want to know.” TK replied with a grin on his face Carlos knew meant trouble. “On one condition.”

“You want to offer your services as babysitter?”

“No, but we’ll be happy to after the honeymoon.” He leaned forward and briefly squeezed the little boy’s foot. “I want to know what Carlos was like growing up. Your mom has shown me his baby pictures and I’ve heard some stories… but I want to know the stuff she doesn’t know about and he won’t tell me.”

Luisa laughed.

“Oh I like you. You’ve got yourself a deal.”

[seancekitsch]

Waking up to Jaskier singing outside your window in the night sounds sweet to me.

it starts off not sweet but gets really cute !!

The sound of his voice from below your window wasn’t enough to get you out of bed. His soft strumming of his beloved lute, his sweet velvet tones not even enough to have you lifting your head.  

Not even his soft “I wrote this for you,” between verses and choruses made your head leave your pillow nor your body leave the comfort of your blankets. 

You knew he would drag himself back here at some point, but it did surprise you he was back so soon.

It had not even been a full week since Jaskier finally relented, said you could with him on his travels. He had left without you before you could even finish packing. You expected it to be at least a year before you saw his handsome sorry face again. 

His song does sound nice, you admit to yourself, rolling over to stare at the ceiling in the moonlight as you listen. He sings about missed opportunity and hands reaching for each other in the silent darkness. He sings about the pride he feels for being the reason for a smile on your face. Funny, you sigh to yourself, he’s been nothing but the reason for a scowl and some tears these past few days. They aren’t tears of sorrow, though, but of frustration and the fact that you knew you knew he would leave but you let yourself play along anyway. 

Throughout all of this, up until you assume he’s about to get into the bridge, you just lie there and let it happen. You let him song his silly little apology and let him waste his breath. 

“Ow!” 

Until that.

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll silence you myself!”

Shit.

“Well you didn’t have to throw rocks, sir!”

That finally has you fighting the blankets to rush to the window. Your hands grasp the cold ledge, letting yourself lean out into the air of the alley to see what was happening. 

Jaskier. Oh Jaskier, he looks worse for wear. Theres blood from where you can only assume the rock hit him on his forehead. He looks like he hasn’t shaved since you last saw him, and his coat is torn. The man in the unit next to yours looks ready to kill, another rock from his garden poised and ready to be thrown from his fist.

“Jaskier, stop making a fool of yourself and get inside!” you shout down from your window, trying to sound angry though you know your own voice is betraying you. His eyes meet you, so bright and full, and you know your heart has betrayed you as well as he runs towards your back door. 

You can hear him stumble in through the threshold and slam the door behind him, boots heavy against your old wooden floors. You hurry out of your room, pulling your robe around your body as you head to the top of the steps to cut him off. 

“My sweet!” he cries, as if he did not abandon you here, as if your packed bag was not still sitting by your wardrobe. 

“Shut up!” you shout-whisper back, worried your neighbors would somehow still be after him, “What are you doing here?”

“I need a reason to see you?” he asks, skipping the first step and pulling himself up to the second so boldly. 

You scoff, and for a moment you have half a mind to  kick him back out of your house. 

“You do when you abandon me here in a city you know I hate after promising me what I’ve wanted since we met,” you say, glad to finally have that off your chest. You’d wanted him so long, wanted to travel the continent with nothing but him at your side and a bag on your back. You hate this city, hate being neighborly, hate meaningless work and fake friends on an unfriendly world. Jaskier was the only thing that felt real, until he too showed his hand. 

“Darling, you don’t understand,” he pleads, climbing more steps to the point where he’s almost on you, his height just about equal to you with the length of steps, “I did not leave you on purpose.”

You fold your arms as your only response, ready to hear any excuse he might have, just so you can throw him out and get back to sleep. You have work in the morning. 

“I did not! Honest!” he tries to reason, drawing an X over his heart, “I was arrested.”

“Arrested?” you parrot, completely believing it. Jaskier has a habit of angering people. 

“Yes,” he nods, nothing but hope in his eyes and in his smile. 

“For what?” you narrow your eyes, not wanting to hear about him possibly sleeping with the mayor’s wife but another part of you needing to hear the rest of this excuse. 

“Would you…” he falters, “Would you believe I am the Sandpiper?”

At this your eyes widen. You’d heard whispers of the great Sandpiper, the hero of the elves and a freedom fighter standing up against the northern oppression. 

“I’m to believe that’s you?” You ask, incredulous.

Jaskier takes the last step closer to you, now standing at only an inch or two taller than you and all space between you taken out of the equation. 

“I need you to know it’s me,” he whispers, and you have to believe him. Jaskier is a lot of things, but a liar has never been one of them.

You look him up and down, really taking him in this time where looking at him burned you before. He looks beaten, a broken winged lark still singing a song just for you.

“It really is you?” you whisper, your eyes drifting and fixating at the cut along his cheek. 

“It is,” He whispers, and you don’t have to look to know his eyes are trained on your lips, “I would have never left you like that, never.” 

He’s earnest and raw in this moment, a side of Jaskier rarely seen and maybe only saved for you or Geralt. You know he means it and all of the resentment and frustration pulls away like the tide going out. 

“I know,” you breathe, barely a whisper, barely anything. 

“Let’s leave, love,” he offers, his hands finally coming up to grab yours, untangling your arms and letting your robe fall open so he can hold your hands so innocently. 

“I’ll grab my bag.”

[kalpasio]

Batter Up

First Base

A Kalpas x Reader Soulmate AU, Chapter 1 below!

You loved playing baseball with your coworkers, but making the teams could be such a pain in the ass. Because half of the office knew who their soulmate was, but it was never even. If it didn’t give you such an advantage, no one would care, but you all knew how much of an impact having your soulmate watch made. Professional sports teams wouldn’t even consider players who hadn’t met their partner. Sure, there were a few couples in the office that could just be put on opposite teams like Seele and Bronya, but not everyone was so lucky.

Some were like Sakura who had met her soulmate, but Kallen wasn’t always available to watch. Her job as a detective meant she had a sporadic schedule and missed games even if she originally said she could make it. The majority of the office, however, was in the same boat as you.

Your soulmate was still out there somewhere, and this was your chance to find them. All around the city, there were open areas that could be used to play different sports. Rather than fencing them off from the public, however, the space was easily visible, that way, passing pedestrians might catch a glimpse of a future partner.

Every other week, your office would reserve the field to play baseball (for ‘team building’) and every other week, you’d be out there hoping to suddenly start playing better. As much as you valued this opportunity, setting up with a n uneven number of soulmates really made you question if all this aggravation was worth it.

“Why can’t we just send one person with a match home?”

“We’d have an uneven number of players,” Dr. Mei closed her eyes and sighed. This wasn’t the first time she’d had to explain, and she doubted it would be the last.

“Look, each team has more than enough players, we can survive with one less,” you suggested. You just wanted to get this show on the road, even if it was an unfair contest.

“I can go,” Kiana raised her hand. “I need to buy some groceries for dinner anyway.”

“If you leave, we’ll just be back where we stared, you’d have to stay for Mei or we’re still not even on soulmates.” (Having two ‘Mei’s in the office was not at all confusing)

“I’ll go,” Durandal raised her hand this time. Normally Rita would be on the field as well, but she decided to sit out to finish up some work.

It had taken twenty minutes, but finally, you all got on your teams and sorted out everyone’s position. Since your team had the extra player, Sakura offered to bat, but not play in the field. She had hit more homeruns than anyone else in the office, but couldn’t throw to save her life, so there were no objections.

At first, the teams were even, though it was clear those with their partners watching were carrying most of the weight. Around the third inning, you saw Sakura jog over to the fence while you were getting set up at first base. Her sister, Rin, was there, fingers curling through the chain-links while she practically bounced up and down. Next to her was probably the most intimidating man you had ever seen.

His arms were crossed to show just how thrilled he was to be there. He wore black slacks and a blazer, similar to what you’d seen Kallen wear to work, but her muscles weren’t nearly as obvious through the fabric as this guys. It didn’t help that the net behind the batter was casting a shadow over his face to cover what you were certain was a permanent glare.

Raven, your pitcher, whistled sharply to get your attention and gave a smug grin when your head whipped back around. Giving a sheepish smile, you adjusted your glove and got ready for the next inning.

And that would have been that. Sakura talking to her weirdly creepy friend (or was he Rin’s friend?) at the baseball game between rounds. Except you started playing better. Like. Way better. Only an inning later your team had pulled ahead a noticeable amount, almost entirely because of you. At first, there was a bit of grumbling from the other side, but once it became clear what was happening, everyone just seemed excited to finish the game. Some because they were sore losers, but most of your coworkers wanted you to go find your soulmate.

As soon as the game was over, you ran to the fence to ask for your soulmate. Of the five or six people who had been watching, two had left before you even got over to them. The third told you she had been to a couple of your group’s games now. If she was your soulmate, you would have known by now. The rest were happy to give you their number, but it wasn’t apparent that one was your match. With a sigh, you walked back to the dugout to pack up before heading home. On the way out, you stopped to talk to Sakura for a minute.

“Any luck?” Your coworker turned to face you, still holding onto Rin’s hand.

“I got a few numbers but none of them really stand out you know?” you shrugged. “I’ll try talking to them and hopefully next time we play I’ll get a definite answer.”

“It wasn’t obvious for me and Kallen at first. Give it some time,” Sakura sent you a smile. “This is Kalpas, by the way,” she waved to the man who showed up with Rin. He still looked angry; the only difference was that you were up close now instead of far away. “He actually works with Kallen, but we were friends long before they met.”

With a polite smile you held out your hand in greeting. “It’s nice to meet you.” Kalpas grunted and looked down at your hand but made no move to return the gesture. After a few seconds of awkwardly standing there, you were about to pull your hand back when Rin reached up and took hold of it.

“You’re supposed to shake hands!” she said. “Like this!” The girl shook your hand harshly up and down way too many times, but you appreciated her enthusiasm. When she finally stopped, you gave a small laugh and pulled your hand back to rest on the strap between your shoulder and your bag.

“Well, I gotta get going,” you nodded your head in the direction of your car. “I’ll see you on Monday!” The three of you waved as you walked off and Kalpas remained still as a statue, brooding as always.

“I don’t think it’s me,” Derek shook his head. He had invited you over to play some video games on the weekend after the two of you had spent the week prior texting. It was meant to be a relaxed date, but you both knew you were testing your soulmate bond. The fact that you both were struggling with a game as simple as Mario made it apparent that the bond simply wasn’t there.

Turning to look at him, the grimace on Derek’s face matched yours. “That’s what I was afraid of.” You sighed. “I really have enjoyed talking with you though.”

“Oh same here!” he was quick to agree, bringing back a bit of your smile. “And you don’t have to go, we can keep hanging out. I just don’t want to act like there’s something going on between us when there’s not.”

“Right, no I get it. I actually have some errands to run so I’m gonna head out, but we should keep in touch!”

“Yeah of course!”

You stood from the couch with Derek following as you grabbed your things and stood by the door. Both of you were clearly uncomfortable and you couldn’t wait to get out of this apartment. The smile you gave as you left was forced, but so was his. You both knew there weren’t any errands, you just needed some space for now. Derek might make a good friend in a few weeks but the disappointment of not finding your soulmate was hard to ignore.

On the bright side, you only had the rest of this week before your next baseball game, and you’d already scheduled with Nick for him to be there. Given that Derek wasn’t your partner, and you only had two choices to begin with, it seemed likely Nick was your soulmate, but you wanted to be sure.

Over the past week you had felt like you got along better with Derek, but you may have just been too focused on one person; or maybe you and Nick just hadn’t found the right topic to talk about. Regardless, you were excited for this Friday.

“Your soulmate gonna be there tonight?”

“I hope so!” The workday seemed to drag on forever. It felt like your computer knew you wanted time to go faster, and it was intentionally freezing on every document you tried to open.

Even though you potentially had your soulmate waiting for you, the teams were balanced out like you still weren’t matched. That way, if Nick is your soulmate, you would be able to tell.

He was right on time, giving you a wave and a huge smile that you returned. As soon as the game started, your eyes were practically glued to the scoreboard, waiting for your team to pull ahead. But it never happened.

You ended up losing so badly that your team forfeited after the seventh inning.

“So…”

“Yeah.”

Your voice was quiet, the disappointment clear. Nick for his part at least seemed to be putting on a brave face.

“This isn’t my first rodeo,” he said. “I keep going to games and thinking I’ve found my soulmate only to come up with nothin.”

You winced, feeling bad for adding to his list of not-soulmates. “I hope you find them soon?”

“Same goes for you!”

The walk to the dugout was too long and you could feel the pitying eyes of your coworkers on you the whole way.

“No luck?” Kallen looked up from where she had squatted to fuss over Rin’s hair.

“Nope,” you popped the ‘p,’ frustration evident. “I wouldn’t be so bummed but that was my last lead. That means my soulmate walked off before I even saw them and who knows when I’ll see them again.”

“Want me to pull up the surveillance footage?” Kallen joked and almost fell over when Sakura nudged her.

You gave a nervous laugh, “while I’m sure you have cameras everywhere, I think I’m all set.” That would be a fun conversation to have. ‘Yeah, I think we might be soulmates so I had my coworker’s wife pull up some secret police cameras to find out who you are and where you live. Wanna get food this Saturday?’

I'm gonna be honest, I know very little about Kallen, I kinda just made her character up as I went oops?