#and we don't know if they had a chance to talk prior to the meeting but it's implied they didn't? since Tangle's like ''omg hi bestie!!''

[sage-nebula]

I want to make something clear regarding my previous post wherein I said that Tangle is impulsive and didn't think before suggesting the name Diamond Cutters through before she said it.

Saying that Tangle's impulsivity led her to blurt that name without thinking is giving her grace.

Because the alternative, that she did think about suggesting the name of Whisper's dead comrades as their team name—that she had been thinking for a long time that she wanted to be a Diamond Cutter because it would be so cool—would make her at best insensitive, and at worst callous, and selfish on either front. That she could sit there, knowing how much they meant to Whisper, knowing how traumatized Whisper was by losing them (to the point where Whisper's entire personality changed as a direct result of the trauma, something Tangle knows both a.) from the video footage, and b.) from Mimic calling her "bubbly little Whisper" after he was caught), and knowing that Whisper herself said the Diamond Cutters were done at the end of the miniseries, and still suggest the name? That would make it an intentional betrayal of Whisper's confidence and feelings, and that's not something I think their relationship—friendship or otherwise—could bounce back from.

After all, Whisper told Tangle that the Diamond Cutters are gone.

"The Diamond Cutters are done" doesn't mean "hey it's totally cool to use their name for a new team!" It means the Diamond Cutters are done. They are gone. They are dead. To carefully think about all of that and still suggest the name would be horrifically insensitive on Tangle's part, especially since Whisper was just re-traumatized by losing the Wisps to Surge*, and Tangle knows that something happened at the very least, even if she doesn't know the exact details.

Tangle has been thinking about teaming up with Whisper again for a long time, yes. Absolutely, 100%. She left the Restoration (or at least cut her hours back to part-time) so that she could go find Whisper. We all know this. Thinking about teaming up with Whisper is not what Tangle was impulsive about. Suggesting they go by the name Diamond Cutters is what Tangle was impulsive about. After all, the team being a huge group was not Tangle's idea, but Lanolin's:

And Sonic is the one who brought up the idea of a team name, to which Tangle responded immediately:

As I said in my previous post, to give Tangle the most benefit of the doubt, the most gracious read we can, we have to think she just didn't think that much before suggesting the name. At most, she always thought the Diamond Cutters' name / outfits were cool, and she might've thought Whisper would appreciate the homage, because again, she's not a trauma therapist. She doesn't realize the long-term effects that Whisper's trauma had on her, even knowing that Whisper's personality did a 180 as a result. She didn't think on it long enough to realize that Whisper told her about all that in confidence, that she was the only person Whisper had opened up to about it, that Whisper was trusting her with that information, only to have that blow up in her face in a room with Jewel, Sonic, and Lanolin.

And while Whisper does consider Sonic and Jewel friends (we don't know about Lanolin), they were clearly not as close to her as Tangle. She doesn't trust them that much, not with her past. And Whisper is, by and large, a non-confrontational person outside of life-or-death combat; she doesn't speak up against the name, because that's just not who she is. Instead she's gritting her teeth and getting through the mission as fast as she can, and tries to ditch the others at the first available opportunity. Is this the healthiest or most mature way to behave? No. But Whisper is a traumatized sixteen-year-old, so she deserves grace, too.

All in all, I didn't say what I said to insult Tangle, or not give her credit. I love Tangle. And I absolutely think that her heart was in the right place. But she did not think this through. She didn't realize that what she saw as carrying on the Diamond Cutters' name in their honor would be a breach of the trust that Whisper gave to her. If she had taken time to think of a team name before popping off with the first one that came to mind after Sonic asked, then I think she would have chosen not to suggest it, at least not before talking to Whisper privately about it. Because Tangle has a huge heart. Tangle loves her friends. And she would never do anything to intentionally hurt Whisper, which suggesting that name absolutely did (and which she would have realized would had, again, she had taken time to think about it).

So, teaming up with Whisper? Yes, Tangle has been thinking about that forever. She's been wanting it forever. She specifically set out to do that between "Trial By Fire" and "Overpowered."

But calling Lanolin's squad the Diamond Cutters? No. That was an impulse decision. Because suggesting otherwise makes Tangle seem insensitive at best and callous at worst and that's just not who she is.

(*Losing the Wisps is re-traumatizing because the Wisps were every bit as much a part of the Diamond Cutters as the mobian members were. This is why they also signed the message that Whisper left for Mimic to lure him back to the Diamond Cutters' base:

When Surge kidnapped the Wisps, she stole what remained of Whisper's found family. This is why Whisper grew more distressed with each one she lost, culminating with having to be restrained by Tails after Cyan was taken. Of course, unlike the mobian members of the team, the Wisps weren't killed and she was reunited with them, but that doesn't make the experience any less traumatizing / any less like reopening a wound that still hasn't really healed.)

[ariestrxsh]

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ

⚠️ content warning: ⚠️ smut, friends to lovers

📝 author's note: 📝 part two is going to have sexual content that is violent, vile, and deranged, so be prepared for that.

✍️ Summary: ✍️ Your best friend Chris, who hasn't had pussy in months, talks you into going out drinking with him in a desperate attempt to get you both laid. Amidst all the alcohol, you guys make a pact that if you both strike out with other people, you'll just go home with each other.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ

destiny, the two-way street part one

"We should go out tonight," my best friend Chris said to me. "What for? We celebrating something?" I glanced up at him from where I was doing my makeup in front of the big mirror in my room. "Yeah, we're celebrating my three months of celibacy," Chris rolled his eyes at me.

"No celebration. I'm just horny as fuck, and it's been too long since I felt the touch of a woman. I'd fuck almost anything at this point," Chris muttered, taking a sip of his Pepsi.

"Anything?" I paused from doing my eye liner for a second and smiled up at him. He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. It's just been a while. Let's go out and meet some people. I'll get you laid too," Chris said nudging me, a risky move while I was applying mascara. I raised my eyebrows up at him, suggestively.

"Not like that! I meant I'd be your wingman," he giggled. That was something Chris and I bonded on, our immature, dirty humor. "Yeah, sure. Let's go out tonight. But you have to help me find something hot to wear," I agreed. Chris helped me settle upon a long black sleeve sheer top over a black bralette and a red leather mini skirt over a pair of black Converse. Chris wore a white tank top, a leather jacket, jeans, and a red bandana. We both looked hot.

A couple of hours later, Chris and I were in downtown LA, where we met up with Nick, Matt, and a few other mutual friends. We didn't have any solid plans, but we figured we'd just play the night by ear. We all got a bite to eat, Chris and I sat next to each other in the restaurant, and started taking shots together.

"You know," Chris started after we'd each choked down a shot of tequila, "I'm an optimistic man, but on the off chance that neither of us score tonight.. we should just do it with each other," Chris smiled at me with a toothpick between his teeth. My jaw dropped, "Christopher, you are desperate!" Chris fiddled with the toothpick in his mouth, "I really am. I need pussy. I'm literally already bricked up right now. I'd only last a few minutes anyway."

"Wow! How tempting," I exclaimed sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "No, I mean, I would take care of you too. I promise," he laughed. "Do you really wanna do this?" I asked him. My gaze lingered on his lips and, for a second, I considered it.

Chris shot me this look of lust and desperation that let me know he really meant it. "Okay, deal. If neither of us finds somebody to go home with tonight, we'll go home with each other." And we shook on it. "Plus that might give me the motivation I need to find somebody to fuck before the end of the night, that way I don't have anything in common with the sad, insecure, desperate women who sleep with you," I slugged him on the arm and he smiled.

Before we knew it, we were several drinks in, hopping from bar to bar. Chris was hitting it off with a pretty redhead he'd met a couple hours prior at another bar, and I was chatting with some emo looking boy Chris had introduced me to, but I couldn't remember his name for the life of me, and to be honest, I was fairly bored.

"Hey, I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette," I shouted to Chris over the music, and his eyes followed me as I made my way to the smoking area outside. In a drunken haze, I looked up at all the stars on this clear night and took it all in. I watched the smoke from my cigarette dance across the landscape in front of me as I mulled over the deal Chris and I had made earlier. I'd never thought about him like that until tonight. In fact, I'd always found him to be a huge player. I mean, of course I thought he was good-looking, but he wasn't the type of guy I usually slept with. I found myself selfishly getting my hopes up that Chris and Redhead wouldn't work out because of how horny I was, but at least I always had my hand.

I took a few drags off my cigarette, my mind wandering and thinking about things I'd never considered before - like what Chris was like in bed, what kind of things he was into. We'd talked about our sexual conquests before, but never gone into much detail, just casual, surface-level conversation.

Suddenly, I felt someone come behind me and grab me, and I spun around as fast as I could. When I saw that it was Chris laughing at me, I was pissed. "Chris, what the fuck?! I literally almost went to burn you with my cigarette because I thought you were some creep!" I shoved him away with my free hand and took a final drag before dropping the butt to the ground and squishing it into the pavement with my sole.

"Ooh, that would have been hot, I like a little pain here and there," Chris smirked back, clearly drunk. "Where's whatever her name is?" I asked. "Would you believe she blew off an upstanding guy like me?" He laughed it off. "No way, she looked like she was totally into you. I thought for sure you were gonna take her to pound town," I said in disbelief.

"So did I. She even teased me and made me all hard, and then didn't even take care of it," Chris whined, getting close to me and poking my hip with his erection. I gasped at him doing this. "Please, can we get out of here? I want you so fucking bad," Chris said, cupping my face and looking into my eyes. In that moment, I knew I wanted him so fucking bad too.

I threw my arms around his neck and let my lips crash into his. He let out a soft moan. Our kiss was long and passionate and full of tongue. I was surprised at how good Chris was at kissing. He took my bottom lip in between his teeth and tugged at it a bit, making it swollen, and I moaned against his mouth.

Chris picked me up and pushed me up against the brick wall that was behind me, I straddled him, and he held me up by my ass. I felt his rock hard member poking me between my legs, and as we continued exploring the inside of each other's teeth with our tongues, he started grinding against me, causing a wet spot to form on the front of my panties. Chris pulled away from my lips and started to kiss my neck. I needed him.

"Fuck, should I call an uber or should we walk? We're about six blocks away from my place," I asked, unhooking my legs from Chris' waist as he let me down off the wall. "Neither. We should fucking run or else I'm literally about to rail you in an alleyway," Chris said with a serious look on his face.

"Last one to my place has to give the other person head first!" I screamed, already taking off down the street. Chris chased after me, grinning bigger than I'd ever seen before.

The whole time I sprinted home, I thought about how I was actually a bit nervous to sleep with Chris. I was in the lead the first few blocks, but Chris caught up to me. "Bet you can't wait to slob all over my knob," Chris teased me as he passed me.

Sure enough, by the time I made it to my front door, Chris had already been standing there for about 30 seconds. "I know you've been waiting several months, but you're gonna have to wait another five minutes so I can drink water and to catch my breath," I said, unlocking the door.

We both had a glass of ice cold water in my kitchen. "I totally smoked you back there," Chris teased me. "Please, I let you win," I responded. "Oh yeah, you wanna go down on me that bad?" Chris asked. "Yes, actually. Dying to," I said, purposely sounding like I was being sarcastic, but I meant it.

part two here 💖

[speed-world]

Well...uh ok story request then I'll do new hc request lol!

Ok story idea...this time baker is the correct thing lol!

Story idea: y/n is just living their life...baking cookies to release into the world since they don't agree with the witches eating living, sentient cookies! One day, cookies invade their hut and it scares y/n, thinking the cookies had mistaken them as one of the witches who Baked them to eat and have come back...FOR REVENGE! (bonus if y/n had talked to witches prior, confronting them about how they should only eat cookies that aren't alive and don't have life powder and aren't Sentient, and had a talk with them that ended like 'if the cookies one day decide to rise up against you and take revenge for what you did to all of them, don't say I didn't warn you!')

Shenanigans ensue until y/n is successfully knocked out and y/n is terrified as they pass out...

Only to wake up in the cookie world...as a cookie....and turns out cookies did this because they loved y/n and wanted to be able to spoil and love them and give em a happy life...just be the cookie's teddybear and keep y/n all for themselves. (Sorry if that last part sounds weird...just ngl would cuddle the cookies if given the chance. You can just say they did it so y/n could live happily with them and wanted to keep y/n for themselves...knowing they could make y/n happier than those witches.)

Revenge or salvation? (Baker! Y/N One-shot)

TW: little angst, gets resolved

It was that time for another Witch’s Meeting, an event that you…weren’t too much a fan of. Although you did enjoy baking new cookies, and there were some witches that you could tolerate and genuinely be friends with, most of them ticked you off. They aggravated you since after they created their cookies—no—created new life, they ate them, as if their lives were pointless.

Why, you wondered. Why would these witches go as far to create life itself, just to take it away?!

“They’re only cookies, Y/N. We bake them to eat them, simple as that!”

But then what was the purpose for the life powder? What was the reason for making such uniquely living beings, just to destroy-to murder them?!

“So sensitive and sentimental. The life powder only makes them tastier, you can’t get sweets like these anywhere else!”

Then just eat the plain cookies without life powder!! Cookies that are just…treats, not fully sentient and knowledgeable life forms!! This is monstrous, don’t you hear their cries and feel their fear when they freak out before you violently end their lives!?!?

“And you listen to them, as if they matter? They see you to, you know. Tasty little things must be as afraid of you as they are us, no? Fine, keep caring for them as if they have feelings, especially for you, a baker like us. Keep giving them space in your home to live, and once they rebel and attack you for being a witch like us, don’t come crying back to us!!”

You hated their cruel and inhumane words. It was pointless to reason with the unreasonable, so you just ignored them before you could cry. The select few good witches understood and shared your pain, and they’d comfort you the best they could.

You and said witches always made sure to hide your creations from the witches eating their cookies, shielding their eyes and immediately leaving the meeting right when you were done baking. Despite your efforts to hide the truth from your cookies, they saw it all. Your clothes would get soiled from their tears on your way to your own abode, but you were fine with it.

You promised your creations they would never be eaten or see those terrible witches again. You were done with those meetings, you can continue to bake at your own home. You told them that you’ll see them tomorrow in a much better mood, and put your cookies to bed in their own little rooms.

And you most certainly will meet them again, in a very different mood

You awoke to the sounds of small yet loud chants and stomping little feet. You looked from your bed and noticed…your cookies charging at you!

But that wasn’t all, some of the cookies charging at you weren’t even cookies you baked! They were cookies you saw created from the other witches, did they escape their horrible fate?! Other cookies you noticed were completely new, cookies you never saw before!!

Oh no, this was what the witch was talking about!! They really were gonna harm you!!

What were they all do—WHACK!

……how…how long were you out? Your head was slightly hurting, but not as much as you thought it would. You focused your vision as you came to and—

Where…WHERE ARE YOU!?!?

You shot up, but only to wince and tumble down. You rolled over and looked at yourself. …Why is your body flat?! You checked your arms and hands, which were also flat and smelled like…a cookie.

You smelled like a freshly baked cookie with a strong flavor that you remembered as your favorite flavor.

You were on the verge of freaking out until an…oddly energetic bunch of cookies showed up.

“Hey there, glad to see you’re finally awake! I’m Gingerbrave, and welcome to the Cookie Kingdom!”

The…what?!

“The Cookie Kin—“

No, no. You heard him, but you meant as in, a Cookie Kingdom?!? Are you dreaming or hallucinating right now!?

“Uh, no, you aren’t hallucinating…do you not remember anything that happened…?”

You remember being bonked in the head really hard, if that’s anything. …Actually, now you remember a bunch of cookies charging towards you, some of which you baked. And well, then you were hit in the head. Were they trying to kill you for revenge?!

“Oh no, of course not! In fact, the reason we turned you into a cookie is because the last thing we’d ever want is you hurt!”

Oh, okay then. …WAIT THEY TURNED YOU INTO A COOKIE TO SAVE YOU?!? ….that’s actually…kinda neat. Weird, but neat!

“Oh yeah! A few cookies told us everything! About how you’re there baker and wanted nothing to do with those nasty witches! Which I totally get!!”

Those sound like the cookies you baked. They always were caring for you, probably more than you were for them! This new life of yours will need some adjusting to, but seeing as how just about every cookie you spot wants to help you with anything and everything, it seems that this will be fine!

You realized you were saved from dealing with those awful witches, and now you can pay it forward with helping these cookies live a happy life, just as you always wanted them too!

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part fourteen

authors note: this one is loaded, and there are some hints/tidbits spread throughout, but also.....please don't hate me. 😭

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, suggestive themes, angst

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

faceclaims

words: 12k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @southerngirl41 @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

Bianca: Hi. I know you asked for space, and I will respect that. I just want you to know I talked to dad. I made him be honest with me, and I know the truth now.  I completely understand if your decision is that you want nothing to do with me. But please know, I had no idea, and I would love the chance to be in your life. I am not our father.

Bianca: It may have started with him, but it can end with us.

Rereading the text for what must be the 18th time, you feel just as conflicted and confused as you were when you first received it a few days prior. It’s been a bit easy to ignore it, to let it sit unanswered as you focused on getting as much work done as you could before leaving for Vegas. 

Thankfully, as the game is on a Sunday, you, Callie, and Alexis got an early morning flight to Vegas where you were met by Joe at the airport. After Callie had her sweet meltdown at seeing Joe again, the three of ya’ll met up with the twins, Trin, Kaylah, Jon’s wife, and the rest of the kids at the hotel.

You were a little nervous about Callie meeting her other cousins, as you know kids don’t always get along right away. But all anxiety is melted away the minute Callie and Jon’s daughter, Ellie, bonded over a common love of Disney. It’s a wrap from there, so much so that Callie feels comfortable enough to be left with them while you and Joe leave to get your tattoos.

Your current location. 

“Let's play a game.”

Joe’s suggestion is greatly appreciated because it pulls you away from hyper-fixating on this text and just what to do with said text. However, it’s also questioned because what the hell kind of games do people play at ya’ll’s big ages?

“Joe, we are too damn old for games—but what is it?”

He laughs at your quick change of tune. He must know that inner competitiveness never really goes away, even if you haven’t been in that competition space in literal years. “I'm gonna show you a house, and all you have to say is either you like it or not. But, you can't ask any questions.”

“A house? Like an actual house?”

“Yes, baby. An actual house.”

His sarcastic tone doesn’t help. Asshole. “And I can’t ask you any questions about a literal house we’re thinking of buying?”

“Yup.” 

Pouting, you murmur, “This game sucks.”

“Okay, Callie.” He messes around on his phone, giving a couple touches before he hands you his phone.

You nearly drop the damn thing, mouth ajar in awe. “Joe, how much—”

“No questions, remember?”

Sucking your teeth, you continue to scroll, each photo evoking another level of wonder. The house is stunning and huge. A literal mansion with landscape and design that looks like it was ripped right out of a luxury HGTV special. Swiping through the photos, each allow you to see that the beauty is not only matched but in many ways exceeded on the inside. A massive kitchen with two ovens, spacious bedrooms, almost equally large bathrooms, movie theater room, a separate building in the humongous backyard that you could easily see Joe turning into a personal gym, and so much more.

You really focus on the outside photos, eyes softening. “She's always wanted a backyard….” It's so easy for you to imagine Callie running around freely, swinging on a swing, maybe even helping you tend to a garden you see more than enough room to plant.

You can see yourself in this house.

“I like it,” you finally answer. There's no need to lie to him, and you're pretty sure he could tell you love it based on your facial expressions alone. “Now can you tell me how much—”

“Nope.”

Sitting up, you shove on his shoulder. “Come on, that's not fair.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Leati.” You can't remember the last time you called this man by his first name. Years, most likely. You used it sparingly, far and few in between, mostly reserved for moments like this when he was pissing you off. 

“You can complain all you want. I'm not telling you shit.” That only irks you more, and he’s indifferent to your obvious irritation, which pisses you off even more. If anything, he sounds almost amused at your frustration. “I'm gonna ask the realtor to arrange a tour. You can ask her then.”

Suspicious, you accuse, “your ass will probably tell her not to tell me or to lie.”

“Maybe.” 

It’s the fact that you know that’s something he would do too. “So my name wouldn’t be on the house? Is that what you’re saying?”

At that, he looks your way, clearly confused but mostly offended. “Of course, it would. Your name will be on everything. I just can’t give you too much information now because you’ll push back and say it’s too much.”

“So, it is expensive,” you conclude. He sighs, heavily. “Joe, we don’t need anything too extravagant or over the top. You know I’m not materialistic like that. I don’t want you feeling like you have to—”

“How many times do we have to have this conversation?” There’s a hint of irritation in his tone, but it’s not entirely unwarranted. Joe has told and showed you multiple times that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you and Callie. It’s just you being…..well, you. “Anything I do for you, anything I do for Callie is because I want to. You should know by now that I’m a man who won’t do anything he doesn’t want to.”

Sitting on his words, you answer, “I know.” And you do, you’re just so damn slow in actually accepting this. “I’m sorry, I just—I’m stubborn. You know this.”

“Yeah, well get un-stubborn.” His hand on your thigh gives a teasing squeeze but before you can inquire about just what kind of alone time you two will have over this weekend, a man walks out, heavily tatted, dressed in semi traditional Samoan attire and wearing a friendly smile.

Joe stands up to greet the man, introducing him as Mike. It’s a name you’re familiar with as you recall eons ago when Joe would rave about his tattoo artist and the man’s insane talent. 

“This is my girlfriend, Y/N.” It’s both strange and welcomed hearing Joe introduce you as such, like it’s almost too good to be true, even if there’s not an ounce of reluctance in his voice.

“Nice to meet you,” you greet, accepting his handshake. “And for getting us in on short notice.”

He waves it off. “Joe’s always welcomed here anytime and as his girlfriend, so are you.”

It stands out to you just how many people speak so highly of Joe. You've always thought he was a genuinely nice guy, but hearing it co-signed by others definitely shows what a gem you’ve got. “Great design choice, by the way,” he compliments, directing his next question toward you. “Joe mentioned you were a bit nervous about the placement….”

“I think I’m good now,” you answer. Tattoo pain is temporary, but placement is forever. You especially don’t want to “settle” for something that has so much meaning. “Same placement as his, but he can go first.”

Mike laughs, clapping his hands together. “Sounds great. Let’s get started.” 

________

You’d completely forgotten how extremely frustrating it is to get ready to go clubbing, and understandably so given at your big age, that’s not really a thing. However, Alexis absolutely refused to accept your decline to go out with her and even convinced Trinity and Kaylah to tag along. 

The bitch even took it upon herself to bring an outfit for you, knowing you definitely didn’t pack for this kind of outing. 

And while the dress is definitely fire, it’s a pain to get on given the cutouts and need to clasp the chest part. Not to mention, your arm is still a bit sore from the tattoo. Granted, Callie’s excitement at seeing how both you and Joe got her name tatted on you was more than worth all the pain. 

This dress though….it’s not worth shit.

“Fuck.” This was so much easier two bra sizes ago, but between trying to hold them together and clasp the hook on the dress, you’re just about ready to call it a night before the night can even truly begin. Settling frustration aside, you grab the robe off the counter and slide it on as you stick your head out the door. “Babe?”

His deep voice replies seconds later. “Yeah?” 

“Can you come help me with something real quick?”

“Mommy,” Callie groans, and you can only imagine the scowl on her face. She loves spending time with her daddy. “We’re playing.”

Your lips curve into a smile, assuring her, “it’ll only take a second, baby.” 

Joe walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. “What’s up?”

“I need you to clasp my dress for me,” you explain, removing the robe and holding your breast with your forearm. “I’m gonna hold them up, and I just need you to—what?”

His eyes slowly travel up and down your body, but his overall gaze reeks of confusion and a level of disapproval. “Where’s the rest of it?”

You’re not stupid, very much aware of what he’s asking. But, you’re also stubborn, a fact he’s well aware of given the fact that you talked about just that this morning. “The rest of what?”

His answer is simple. “Your outfit.”

Muscle twitching in your jaw, you attempt to divert the conversation. “Come on, everyone else is almost ready—“

“I’m serious.” 

Huffing, you slap on that sweet, teacher voice and bring your hands to his chest, allowing your breast to fall open and freely. It doesn’t miss you how his gaze moves downward and lingers. “Joe, I love you, but you met me post-college. Trust me, this is tame compared to what I used to wear clubbing. And we both know I’m gonna wear what I want, regardless, so I just need you to swallow that annoying ass male pride, which I know you will, because you love me enough to do so, and just strap my titties down for me, okay?” Leaning up to kiss his cheek, your finger moves in a figure eight down his body. “Besides, when I get back tonight, you get to rip this same dress off me, bend me over this very same counter right next to us, and make me watch as you fuck me, hard, from behind.”

Your sex drive has always been on the higher end, but it’s been even more intense in the past couple days, and while your last few intimate encounters with Joe have been more loving and sweet…..that’s not what you need right now. 

You need this man to fuck you in the way only he can. Choking, spanking, biting, a tad bit of degrading, hips bruised from how tight he holds you with backshots that have you speaking in a different language. The whole nine yards. 

Your words paint such a vivid picture that’s clearly too far out for his comfort as his hands move to your ass, squeezing roughly. “And what’s stopping me from doing just that right now?”

God has a cruel sense of humor because before you can even fix your mouth to respond, the very reason why makes her presence known. She knocks on the door with all the irritation in her little body. “Daddy, are you almost done?”

Eyes twinkling with mischief as you step back to hold your breast together, you remind him. “that is why not. You’re on daddy duty tonight.” Joe doesn’t say anything and instead finally hooks it for you. “Thank you.”

“At least pull it down in the back or something,” he grumbles and actually tries to pull down the back of the dress.

“Baby, I have an ass. It’s gon’ shift right back up as soon as I move.” Sure enough, one step is all it takes for it to roll up just a few centimeters below your ass. Unlocking and opening the door, you beam at Callie. “He’s all yours, baby girl.”

“You look so pretty, mommy!”

“Thank you, baby.” You lean down for a kiss on her cheek right as Alexis walks in. Callie goes to lead Joe back into the “living room” area as Alexis welcomes herself into the hotel room. You’re not even gonna bother asking how she got a key. Her dress, unlike your all black little piece, is sparkly, short, and strapless. It’s very much Alexis.

She gasps. “Girl, that dress is fitting and your boobs are sitting.” 

Winking and lifting your breasts, you laugh, complementing, “you look amazing.”

“Duh. I’m me.” She brushes her shoulders before peeping past you to say hi to Joe and Callie. “Hi, future brother-in-law and part time child.”

All you can hear is Callie asking Joe what a part time child is as Alexis grabs you by your wrist and starts dragging you toward the door. “Come on, Trin wants us to do a TikTok before we leave.”

Instantly, you’re scowling. “A TikTok? Girl, we are too old for that.”

“I swear, you act like you’re 75 sometimes,” she dismisses, walking you out the room and across the hall to the other room where Jimmy and Trin are staying. You’re still impressed how they all managed to get rooms not only on the same floor but literally all across each other.

Must be a rich people thing.

Walking into the room, you see Trin and Kaylah are dressed a bit more modestly then you and Alexis, not as much skin showing but still very much giving club vibes. 

Compliments are again exchanged among the four of you, but Kaylah is the first to say, “girl, I’m surprised Joe didn’t have nothing to say about your outfit.”

Chuckling, you inform, “he tried, but he knows I don’t play that. I’m a grown woman. Imma wear what I want. Besides, I know how to shut him up.” 

What’s implied doesn’t need to be explained but not according to Alexis who of course blurts out, “that’s right. Sitting on your man’s face will do it every time.”

“Please excuse her. She ran out of her Lithium.”

“Ehh, they tried that. Didn’t work for me.” It’s the fact that she’s probably dead serious too. “Okay, now which trend are we doing, Trin?”

Trinity's smile, like everything else about her, is bright and beautiful. “I was thinking the Wanna Be one by Meg and Glo.”

Instantly, you know Alexis is sold. “That is my damn song.” She then points to you. “This one needs to go last though, because when I tell you that thing moves like water. This bitch can twerk like Megan.”

One thing you’ve never been is a liar, so you can’t find it in you to call bullshit on Alexis exclamation. You’ve always been super flexible, courtesy of cheer, and twerking has always come a bit natural to you. But, it was really when you started hitting up the strip clubs in college and made acquaintances with the strippers that you learned all of the tricks. 

However, it’s also been years since you last stepped out on the town, and your joints start to hurt from just sitting too long, so the hype may be a little bit undeserved after all.

“That was also before I had a baby, Lex.”

Alexis brushes off your downplay. “She can even do the hand thing. You know, where you put your hand in between your ass cheeks while you still shaking? Iconic.”

Studying her closely, you realize why she’s so amped already. “You pre-gramed, didn’t you?”

She presses her lips together and then goes into denial. “I plead the fifth.” Laughing, she tugs on your arm. “Come onnnn.”

“Fine.” Caving to Alexis is typically the best outcome because the bitch is relentless when she wants something, especially when she’s already tipsy. 

However, Trinity seems just as excited as she directs the three of you to the bathroom where she already has the phone propped up and everything. 

It ends up being a fun time that reminds you so much of those days back in college where you and Lex and a few other girlfriends would spend a damn near hour taking the “perfect” photos for the “gram” and even longer to come up with a witty caption. You even show off a little bit of your twerking skills, nothing too crazy, much to Alexis chagrin. 

Arriving at the club and being escorted to the VIP section, courtesy of Alexis, the ladies order a round of drinks while you settle for a simple bottle, never glass, of water. After your whole fiasco during Christmas, you can’t see yourself sipping even a glass of wine for a while.

It’s a nice blast from the past but also suddenly a bit irritating with how noisy and boisterous everything is. The club is packed, and you’re grateful to be seated up and away from everyone else. While Alexis starts to get her buzz going, Trin partially surprises you by asking for your approval to upload one of the videos to TikTok and a photo to post on Instagram. It’s only partially surprising, because Trin has always been a real one. 

You agree and even helping her with a caption. 

Something bout’ that melanin ✨

Pulling out your own phone to check in on Joe and Callie, you’re surprised to see you have a bunch of IG notifications. This leads to you realizing that Alexis, at some point, posted a couple of photos she made you take on your profile. She even took it upon herself to come up with a caption that makes you both chuckle and shake your head. 

ya favorite athlete’s favorite athlete 😌

It’s not a huge deal to you, as you’d went ahead and made your Instagram private again a couple months prior. It’s a feature you toggle on and off, knowing that only the people you want knowing and seeing your page would even know how to find you. However, with Joe being back in your life and having a few posts with Callie’s face in them, you lean on the side of caution and just plan to keep it private from here on out.

It’s the comments though that really make you pause. 

@user1 omg y/n!!! That body been giving, sis! 

@user2 HA! Always was that girl. Still that girl. Miss you, cuz!

@Mariaaahhhh___92: This really how you wanna do this?

@BigLexPurr: Say it louder for the BITCH in the comments before me. I mean, in the back. 😃

@user3: If only I looked like that after having my baby lmao You look amazing, Y/N!

@RomanReigns Damn straight.

With all the swiftness and quickness, you block Mariah, not needing or wanting her and Alexis to get into a whole spat under your post. But Joe’s comment is definitely one that takes you for surprise, and you wrestle with whether or not you should acknowledge it but eventually decide to do so with a simple reply. 

@yourusername @RomanReigns 😘

You make a mental note to roast his ass for being in your IG comments like that but put your phone away when WAP comes on. Of course, it’s only appropriate that the four of you rap along to every iconic, spiritual lyric spit by Meg and Cardi. Alexis even influences you into doing a little twerk on her that she absolutely captures on Snapchat.

You don’t even need to ask her to know she’s gonna waste no time in sending that over to Joe. How she managed to get him to accept her add on Snapchat is something you’ll never understand. 

“I need some more drink, but I don’t want to get up,” Alexis whines, shooting you the puppy dog eyes.

“Gee, why don’t I—”

“Thank you, friend!”

Shaking your head, you make your way out of the VIP and through the crowd to the bar. Placing the order, you wait patiently, praying that what you know is bound to happen doesn’t happen. A waste of a prayer, because that unwanted happening appears in the form of a crooked smile, bad haircut, and height that can’t exceed 5’9.

He just leans back against the bar, as if waiting for you to, of all things, acknowledge him. That makes you laugh aloud. The fucking irony. 

You decide to take the lead and dead this thing before he can run whatever play he thinks will work on you. “No, I don't want or need you to pay for my drink, and I don't need anything put on your tab. I'm good.”

His smile doesn't deter. If anything, he looks even more intrigued. This was always the part you hated about clubbing. Men who can’t seem to conceive that you “playing hard to get” is actually and really just complete and utter disinterest.

“Oh, you more than good, ma.” His gaze resting on your chest much longer than what's appropriate is both irritating but expected. Men see titties and lose all sense of self-control, the little that some actually do possess, that is. “I'm just trying to see how good.”

You were over this conversation before it even started, hence your readiness to put an end to his fruitless hopes and your irritation.

“My man is 6’3, 287lbs and fights niggas for a living.” Tone both bored and casual as you list off basic facts, you ask, “He's home right now watching our 6 kids. Still wanna do this?”

It's the way his eyes go wide that makes it hard for you not to laugh. That should definitely do the trick. “Naw, I'm good. You fine, but you ain't that damn fine.”

“That's what I thought.” Taking the Martini from the bartender, you saunter your way back over to your section and hand it to Alexis.

“I take it homeboy was trying to take you home.”

Chuckling, you nod. “But, I handled it.”

“Oh, I'm sure you did.” She then turns to the group. “This one was always vicious when turning down bums at the club.”

“Cause sir, why are you talking to me with your uneven fade and height that starts with a 5?”

Trinity and Kay fall out laughing, but you’re dead serious. You’d been called arrogant a couple of times, but it never really affected you because you know you just have standards and refuse to settle.

And clearly…..it worked out.

“I really wish we could do this more often,” Kay suddenly shares, and it takes you a bit by surprise. There was a level of trepidation regarding meeting Josh’s wife. You know they’ve been together since they were in high school, which means there’s a good chance she knows Joe’s ex-wife. A chance they could be friends.

And if she’s anything unlike Mariah, she wouldn’t want to chop it up with the woman who slept with and had a whole baby for her friend’s husband. But so far, Kay has been nothing but kind, a bit on the quiet and reserved side. It’s an interesting dynamic considering Josh is anything but. 

“Do you live in Florida too?” Alexis suddenly asks, sipping her Martini. When Kay nods, Lex slaps you on the arm. “Well, this one will be moving there probably before the end of summer, so maybe ya’ll can link up more often.”

Intrigue paints both Trin and Kay’s faces, as the former asks, “seriously?”

“Yeah, umm, Joe and I were actually looking at a house earlier.” A thin layer of excitement re-emerges as you reflect on the photos you saw. You really do like that house, but it feels so much like a dream, like the expensive houses you look at and critique on Zillow knowing damn well you can’t afford them. 

And you can’t, but he probably can. 

You know he can, or he wouldn’t be showing you in the first place. 

“How do you really feel about moving?” Trin questions. “You still live in your hometown, right?”

“I do.” It’s a valid question, one you, if you’re being honest, sometimes go back and forth on. You know you want to move and ultimately will, but there are still some moments where you feel a bit unsure. It’s to be given, you’re sure, as change can be difficult. “There’s a lot of things I’ll miss, like being away from my mom, but….I want to be with Joe, and it’s what’s best for Callie.”

“She really is a sweet child. You did an amazing job with her.” 

Kay’s compliment warms your heart. “Thank you….that means a lot to me.” Callie is your pride and joy, so to hear others speak highly of her, of how you raised her thus far will always be the best kind of compliment. 

“You’re a teacher, so you’re off for the summer, right?” Trinity suddenly asks. Nodding, she continues, “you and Callie should go on the road with Joe this summer then. Maybe not the whole summer, but a portion. It’ll be fun. I’d love to have ya’ll, and you know he would too.” 

It’s a suggestion that you find yourself actually considering. Outside of PD, which can be done virtually with some prior arrangements, there really would be nothing stopping you from tagging along. Callie would be ecstatic, and something tells you Joe would too. 

Kay then shoots Trinity a look that you can’t quite decipher. “isn’t he….” 

As if awareness dawns, Trinity mutters, “oh, shit, I forgot.” 

Understandably curious, and always uncomfortable with being kept out of the communication loop, you inquire, “what?”

Trinity looks a bit nervous but then answers casually, “Oh nothing, I just forgot they’ve, uhh, gotten a little strict now about family coming on the road. Something about it being too distracting for the wrestlers.”

Alexis seems as skeptical as you are. There’s something they’re not saying. “Isn’t he literally like the face of the whole company? I feel like if he wants them there, then they’ll be there.” She has a fair point. “Look how he takes time off to come fly and see them.”

That actually brings on a question you’ve been wondering about for a while. Directed to Trinity, you ask, “do you know if he gets in trouble for that?” Trinity looks a bit unsure of how to respond, and you know immediately it’s because she’s trying to figure out how much to say. “The truth, please. I can handle it.” 

With a heavy sigh, she relents, “Jon mentioned Joe said something about them talking with him, but I get the sense Joe told them to fuck off. Professionally, of course.”

You’re not sure how to feel about this. The last thing you want is for Joe to risk all of his hard work for you. And you know it’s more for Callie than anything, which you get, but he still has contractual obligations he needs to fulfill.

“I can tell you this…..they can say what they want, but Joe doesn’t play about you and Callie, so he gon keep hopping on flights as much as he needs to.”

“He was really happy when he found out about Callie,” Kay adds in a soft tone with a kind voice. “I remember overhearing him talking with Josh, and he told him, “she’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Crying in the club definitely wasn’t on your agenda for this trip, but here you are, trying to blot your eyes with the back of your hand. “Ya’ll, I didn’t wear waterproof mascara. Don’t have me out here looking like a racoon scaring folks off.”

Alexis chimes, “Joe won’t mind. It’ll keep him from coming up in here beating some poor soul’s ass for trying to holler at you.”

Kaylah snorts. “She’s not too far off. All them fools are super protective and territorial.”

“I’m just trying to figure out when ya’ll are gonna stop being selfish and slide one of them my way. It’s obvious they fertile as hell, so there’s gotta be an eligible cousin or uncle or something.”

It’s the fact you know that Lex is dead serious. Thankfully, Travis Porter comes on and that’s enough to bring all of ya’ll back to your feet like you’re 21 all over again. And that’s the dominant and recurring theme of the entire night: dancing, laughing, talking, Alexis being unhinged. 

Wash, rinse, repeat.

The four of you end up returning to the hotel shortly before midnight, the perfect time as somehow, the guys got all of the kids down for bed and were just waiting to make sure you all returned safely. 

Sitting around one of the hotel rooms, you all just chop it up, sharing various stories, no one really tired enough to call it a night.

“See, that’s the thing that people don’t realize. Ain’t a whole lot of difference between Joe and Roman. Uce been had that dog in him.” Jon starts off, sitting up as he explains. Somehow the topic landed on when they were growing up and how Joe’s always had “parts” of Roman in him. “Like one time when we was kids, we was playing a basketball game and he showed up late talking about “aye, let me join.” We tell him, ‘sorry man, we already started.’ He takes the ball, chucks it over in the neighbor's yard, talking about “ain’t nobody playing now.”

There’s a chorus of laughter, but your jaw drops open as you look at Joe, an easy task as you’re perched on his lap. “Did you really do that?” It’s almost inconceivable to see this man do something like that, especially as a child. “Joe, that was mean as hell.”

It’s the fact that he doesn’t deny it and simply shrugs. “Should have let me join in.”

Covering your mouth and shaking your head, you go to scold him for being such an ass, regardless of how long ago it was. But, Alexis soon adds in her two cents, looking your way. “I don’t know why you looking shocked and disappointed, you weren’t much better when we were in college.” She then directs her attention to the group. “So, we were cheerleaders, and Abby Lee Miller over here was a total nightmare during competition season.”

Gasping, you sit up, Joe’s big arm locked around your waist to keep you on him. “I was not.”

She rolls her eyes and takes a drink before admitting, “girl, I love you, but you were a bitch when you were in competition mode.” This is the first time you’re hearing this, so of course, it takes you by surprise. You won’t deny that you could be a bit…..intense during the season, but as captain, there was a shit ton of responsibility on your shoulders. Someone had to take the lead. “There’s a reason we had a whole group chat without you called, ‘Deliver us from Y/N’.”

“You had what?” This is news to you. As far as you were concerned, you had a great relationship with your teammates. It’s why your head coach let you take charge so much, especially in your junior and senior years. “Because I was doing my job?”

Alexis continues, ignoring your questions which is both annoying and predictable. She loves to tell a good story. “She’s the reason I’m hoping and praying Usher doesn’t perform More. It was the song for our Nationals routine, and when I tell you she was on us like goddamn slaves. That routine was hard as fuck, and she ain’t care one bit. It was hella good, like she choreographed the shit out of it, but it was so technical and draining. Bitches in the corner vomiting during practice, and she like ‘get a bucket and keep it pushing.’”

All eyes land on you, waiting for a response, but it’s hard to retort the truth, so you settle on justification. “Okay, that was their fault. I told ya’ll not to eat an hour before.”

Alexis claps her hands as everyone else around laughs. “I rest my case.”

“No wonder ya’ll go together so well,” Josh mutters, taking a drink of his beer. Kaylah slaps his arm but doesn’t say anything in disagreement. 

“What I’m hearing is it’s gon be a two night A&E special. First night? Surviving Joe. Second night? Surviving Y/N.”

Jon’s delivery is really what sells it. You can’t even hold back your laughter. Leaning back into Joe’s chest, you lift up both hands to flip them off. “Ya’ll not gon’ keep talking about my man.” Partially joking, partially serious, it’s not missed upon you how Joe’s deep chuckle in your ear is followed by his fingers innocently moving against the outside of your thigh. 

“You and your man was clearly out here terrorizing people,” Trinity laughs with a shake of her head. “That’s so crazy too, because you don’t give off that energy, Y/N.”

“I’ve calmed down a lot since I had my daughter.” And it’s the truth. Along with age and an extreme respect for your field along with your professional reputation. “But yeah, college Y/N…..she was something else. A little bit of high school as well, but mostly college.”

Alexis makes a sound and then blurts out, “tell em’ about the time you bust that stripper in the head with a bottle, and she had to get 75 stitches.”

Understandably so, there’s a round of shocked expressions and questions following Alexis so casually dropping one of the wildest experiences you had in college. 

You hear Jon ask something about if you have a criminal record, but it’s really Joe giving you that ‘you gon explain?’ look that makes you cave. 

“Oh lord, I can’t believe I’m about to tell this story.” You turn to Joe, warning. “You’re not allowed to hold it against me either.”

“Let me hear it first, and I’ll let you know after.” You know he’s joking, but still, you hit him on his arm. He’s supposed to hold you down, no matter what. Aggravated assault and all.

“Okay, so were at the strip club—”

Jon can’t help himself, asking, “damn, you got down like that?” 

He has no idea.

“You gotta remember, we were cheerleaders, so we spent a lot of time with the football and basketball teams. And they asses was always there, so we would tag along cause why not? I always had a good time. The food was good as hell too. Anyway, I was dating a football player at the time—”

Alexis slaps Joe on the arm. “She’s always had a type.”

“Yeah, ‘ain’t shit’, clearly.” You grab Joe’s jaw, clarifying. “Except for you, baby.” He mutters his approval, and you continue, “so, I was dating this dude, and he was cheating on me, which was fine. I wasn’t really into him anyway. But, turns out the girl he was cheating with was one of the strippers there and a classmate. I don’t know how the stupid bitch didn’t realize who I was before that night, but whatever. I guess she caught feelings for him or something and saw me as the problem? Mind you, I was dating him before he even started fucking her, but she called herself trying to step to me. And she was talking shit, which I didn’t necessarily care about because one thing I’ve never and will never do is fight over a man. Any fight I ever got into was because they said something about my mama or someone else I love.”

“How many fights you done—” Trinity elbows Jon who grunts and then mutters for you to keep going.

Chuckling, you do so, “so she calls me a bitch….okay, but then calls my mom a bitch, and at that point, I’m seeing red. Cause now my food is cold, I was about to get a lap dance that’s not gon’ happen cause now I gotta beat her ass, and all over some wack ass dick. But now she done bought my mama into it….absolutely not.” A beat. “I didn’t hit her first, because I never hit first, but I did say some slick shit that I knew would provoke her.” You decide to leave out exactly what you said given how graphic it was. “And she hit me, but then this other bitch joins in—”

“And that’s when I get involved,” Alexis chimes, raising her drink high and proud. “Because what you not gon do is jump my motherfucking best friend in front of me.”

Laughing, you continue, “so Alexis crazy ass is beating her friend, I’m on this girl, but then she calls herself trying to stab me with the heel of her shoe or something cause obviously I’m winning—”

“This some WorldStarHipHip shit if I ain’t ever heard—” Trinity hits Jon for his interruption and motions for you to continue going, clearly and deeply invested in the retelling of this wild ass night.

“I’m mixing on this bitch, cause one thing about me, I know how to fight. I just choose not to do it.” And it’s true. Fighting is a last resort, always has been for you, but make no mistake, you know how to throw down. “Anyway, I snatch the shoe out of her hand, grab this bottle of Hennesy I see near me and smash it over her head.”

“And it was lights out.” Alexis says dramatically. “That bitch was laid out like a crime scene. Patrick Star headass.”

Wiping the tears from your eyes from your laughter, you continue, “so someone calls the cops. They show up, and I’m starting to get nervous thinking she’s gonna press charges, because I bust her head open. She had to get stitches and everything. But I had made friends with the owner of the club—-that’s a whole other story—and basically, he refused to provide her with any video footage, made sure no one said anything about what happened, was friends with the cops, and they just chalked it up to a bunch of drunk girls being stupid. And I got off.” Clapping your hand to signify the end, you rest back against Joe. “The end.”

There’s a slightly understandable moment of silence before Kaylah calmly asks, “How drunk were you?”

That’s an easy answer. “Oh, I wasn’t drunk.”

“So….you did all that sober?” Trinity asks, like she needs to just make sure she’s following correctly. 

“Yup.” You pop the ‘p’ and look over at Joe who’s all of the emotions, primarily, amused, surprised, and strangely turned on. “Wild times.”

Jon is the first to speak after that. “Man, I always knew I liked you, Y/N. Your ass a little crazy, but I fucks with it.” 

Laughing, you explain. “You gotta keep in mind, I was like 19 at the time. I was young and definitely dumb in a lot of ways. I’ll be 32 this year and have grown a lot. I have zero desire to put my hands on anyone. I have a child and a career. I may be tempted, but I’m not going to actually do it.  I have too much to lose”

“And that’s why she has me.” Alexis lifts her drink. “I don’t have much to lose cause I’m rich enough to get off. Plus, she’s all boring now. You see how early we’re back. Back in the day, we’d club hop until like 4 in the morning. At least up until Junior year,” she gestures to you with her outstretched thumb. “That’s when this heifer had to get all studious on me.” 

“4.0, Summa Cum Laude.” You make a little pose and laugh. “I just got my shit together, and clearly….” you lean back to look at Joe. “ —it paid off.”

—----------

Obviously, you’ve never attended a professional football game, let alone the fucking Super Bowl, but even knowing that, you’re partially surprised by just how many damn people are there. It’s absolutely jam packed, and you’re suddenly grateful for the security detail that escorts the group of you to your seating area.

Joe holds Callie and keeps your hand in his which impacts you in a strange way that you can’t explain. This whole trip has been him being unabashedly open about you and Callie, and you’re starting to think that’s the part that’s still a bit difficult.

For three years, you felt like some secret he kept hidden and stored away, so to be so “displayed” so publicly is such a stark contrast you’re still trying to sit with. It’s not a bad adjustment, just an adjustment nonetheless. 

The section rented for the group is surprisingly spacious enough for everyone, and you and Kaylah immediately go delegating, having the kids all in the back rows with the men front and center to see the game they’ve been praying for all year. You knew Joe was a huge 49ers fan, hence your not being entirely surprised when you found a box at your apartment door with a bunch of 49ers apparel for you and Callie to pick from for the game. He also, in true Joe fashion, sent you both sneakers with the 49ers team colors of black, red, and gold. 

And one look at Callie as she interacts with her cousins, you can’t deny how adorable she looks, especially as they’re also sporting the apparel because of course his whole family are also fans. Granted, you can’t deny how adorable she looks all decked out like her daddy. You took a more subtle approach, agreeing to the letterman jacket and sneakers, combining them with the 49ers long sleeved crop top and stretch black pants.

There’s a lot of getting everyone settled and you warning Alexis not to make a damn fool of herself, which apparently she’s also dead set on. Something about needing to be ready to be either a consolation or celebration prize for whatever player she was going home with tonight. 

When the game starts though, it’s absolutely fascinating watching how intently focused the men are, not wanting to miss a single second. You’re suddenly really grateful you’d briefly spoke with Callie about how this game was very important to Joe, so his attention may not be on her as much as she wants but that’s okay because he’s just a little busy. She responded well, and you can see how helpful it is for her to be around not only other kids but her cousins.

The ease of their connection and ability to play together is something you’re so grateful for, so happy to see. It definitely makes you even more excited about moving, about her being closer to family. 

That thought reminds you to ask Joe when he wants to talk to Callie about that, about moving. It feels like something the two of you should do together. 

Ironically, you’ve never really been a huge football person, so your interest in the game and who wins is pretty slim to none. You’re there for a good time and, most importantly, Usher’s performance. Kaylah seems to be on a similar wavelength, so while the rest are deeply invested in arguably the most important game of the year, you two engage in casual dialogue. 

She gives you some much appreciated tips on the area, specifically regarding school systems and other resources for Callie. She mentions a dance school her daughter also attends classes at, and that immediately catches your attention cause Callie has given some indications she wants to do ballet. And while you have your reservations, it’s mostly been because of financial reasons.

Not that daddy warbucks over there won’t handle that for you. 

There’s also a lot of photos and videos that get taken to commemorate this moment. Most of which are headed by life of the party, Alexis. You’re grateful though, happy to have her here. She even catches your attention when Callie maneuvers her way over to Joe, tugging on his pants leg for him to pick her up. You start to bring her back by you, but you end up watching Joe pull her up, kissing her cheek as he patiently tries to explain the game to her.

It brings a warm smile on your face, and you use your phone to snap a photo of them. It’s from behind, but the lighting, the way Joe is pointing and Callie following his line of vision, there’s something about it so wholesome and moving.

You set it as your lock screen. 

By the time halftime rolls around, the men are all in great moods given their team is so far dominating. However, you and the rest of the ladies present are in a great mood for entirely different reasons. 

The minute you hear the opening chords of Caught Up, you’re in a completely different world, similar to the happy space of attending concerts in your teens and college days. Alexis is definitely your number one hype woman, but really, Trin and Kaylah are just as lit. The guys are definitely enjoying the show as well, but Usher has been that man for you, so he’s your only focus. 

It only gets exponentially better, and the minute he starts to perform Yeah joined by both Lil John and Ludacris, you and Alexis are shouting out every single damn word of Luda’s iconic verse. 

It’s definitely a moment you’ll absolutely never forget.

Unfortunately, the halftime show seems to be a bit of a climax as the third quarter progresses, and the tide seems to start turning in favor of the Chiefs. Similarly, it’s not missed upon you how the younger kids seem to be slowing down. Callie is definitely ready for bed and understandably so. It’s been a long day and is way past her bedtime. After a brief discussion with Joe and Josh, it’s decided that you and Kaylah will take the younger kids back to the hotel, especially since you both have very little interest in how the game plays out but respect the guys needing to stay. 

And Alexis wild ass most definitely stays behind for….obvious reasons.

Joe, of course, doesn’t let you and Callie leave without a hug, kiss, and telling you both he loves you. A tradition of sorts now, definitely one you’ll never get tired of.

Security escorts the smaller group of you to your vehicles, and by the time you’ve reached the hotel, the younger kids are tapped out. You manage to get Callie out of her clothes, into her jammies, and bonnet on her head before she passes out in her bed. 

Kaylah has a similar experience with her kids, the two of you plopping down on the sofa together. 

“I hope they pull the win. I don’t know if you’ve ever been around Joe when the 49ers lose, but he’s not pleasant. None of them are.”

“I get it,” you chuckle. “I’d be pissed if I paid all that money to see my team lose too.”

“At least we had our good time seeing Usher’s fine ass.”

Laughing, you slap hands with her. “I know that’s right!”

As the laughter dies down, Kaylah gives you an earnest smile. “I hope I’m not being too forward, but I really am glad you came on this trip. I’ve heard both the twins and especially Joe speak so highly of you, and they definitely weren’t wrong. More importantly, I think you’re really good for Joe. I haven’t seen him as happy as he is with you and Callie since we were in high school, really.”

“Can I be honest with you about something?” Her kind words make you feel comfortable enough to be forthcoming with her. “I was a bit nervous you wouldn’t like me.”

Her eyes widen. “Me? Why?”

“I guess…..I worried you would feel a sense of loyalty to Joe’s ex-wife, and given how we got together…..

She nods. “I can understand that, but…if I’m being honest with you, I’ve probably had more meaningful interactions with you in these two days than I did in all of the time they were together. Don’t get me wrong, Jadah was super nice and chill, but she never really interacted with us like that. She mostly kept to herself.”

“What was the deal with their marriage?” It feels a bit off asking her, but given she’s known them for so long, she of all people would be the person to ask. “I know….I know he told me they only got married because she was pregnant and that….that she miscarried.”

It’s when you say that she gives you a strange look. “Y/N…..they didn’t have a miscarriage.” Before the shock fully wears off and you can ask her what happened then, she explains in an understandably sad tone. “It was….it was a stillbirth. She was 8 months pregnant.”

Your stomach…drops. That….that’s not what you expected to leave her mouth. Not at all.

Thinking back to that brief conversation with Joe, he never really specified what happened. Just made sure you knew Callie didn’t have a sibling. You’d just assumed a miscarriage is what happened. 

But a stillbirth….your brain can’t even begin to comprehend the heartbreak they must have experienced. To be in a headspace that you’re welcoming your first child for the better part of a year only to have it so cruelly ripped away in such a horrific manner….it’s devastating.

“I didn’t….”

“He didn’t tell you?” You shake your head, and she offers a sad smile. “I’m not surprised. Joe seems very open with you and obviously trusts you a lot, but that….I know that messed him up real bad.” 

Just like finding out he’d missed out on almost five years of Callie’s life. You’re starting to understand more and more why he came at you so hard initially, it was more than warranted but most likely pulling from his prior trauma as well. 

Kaylah continues, explaining gently, “I don’t know…I don’t know if it’s a good idea to push him too much on discussing it, YN. He’s never even really talked about it to the twins, and they tell each other everything. I’m sure he’s never fully processed it. Then again, I don’t know how you can ever process something like that.”

Hearing this has suddenly entirely soured your mood, and you have no ill feelings toward Kaylah. Just the opposite. You’re grateful she felt comfortable enough to be honest with you. You just wish the truth didn’t have you with this dull ache in your chest.

—----------

The 49ers loss hits you harder for reasons completely different than actual fans. It makes you sad for Joe, a sentiment you were already struggling with, to be honest.

Anticipating he’ll be looking for some sort of distraction, especially with Callie knocked out for the night, you try to get your shower finished before he makes it back to the hotel. It’s a wasted effort, because not only does he make it back before then, but he scares the hell out of you when his hulking frame joins you from behind under the steaming hot water. 

But before a single word can leave your mouth, his lips are on you, and you know instantly that he plans to take his emotions out on you in the only way that’s most appropriate. 

Fucking.

Joe fucks you against the shower wall, on the bathroom counter, in the exact way you promised him the night before but couldn’t follow through on because you were tired. He’s rough, rougher than you’ve had him in a while, and while it’s exactly what you wanted, it also saddens you that you know he’s disappointed. 

It’s just a game, yes, but there’s something about a loss at this level that makes it hit deeper. It also doesn’t help that you were already feeling a tremendous amount of empathy toward him after finding out about his loss. 

Body completely used and thoroughly fucked, the end of your sexscapade finds you both, naked and worn out. Your body is draped upon his as his finger moves around lazily across your back.

It’s a comfortable silence when he asks, “was I too rough with you?”

Lifting your head, you give him the strangest look. How long has it been since ya’ll really fucked? He’s clearly forgotten how you get down. “Did you seriously just ask me that? This is me, Joe..” Laying your head back on his chest, you remind him of your only rules in the bedroom. “Unless I’m bleeding or passed out, never too rough.”

Laughing, he flicks your arm as you kiss his shoulder. Changing gears a bit, his expression softens. “Thank you for coming, for bringing her.” 

“You never have to thank me for that.” You remind, because it’s the truth. You’d escort Callie to Siberia if that’s where he was. “But we do need to figure out when we’re gonna talk to her about moving.”

He seems to also remember this is a thing, asking, “how do you think she’ll feel?”

You have to take a second to think about his question. It’s something you’ve definitely considered. Callie has only known your town. That’s her home. What would it be like to uproot her? You finally settle on the best, honest answer you can muster. “I think she’ll be a little sad to leave her preschool friends, definitely my mom but what she wants more than anything is to be a family, so she’ll be happy.”

“Does she know we’re together?”

“I—I don’t know actually.” It’s not really something you’ve thought about until this very moment, just kinda assumed that it was a given. “Well, shit, maybe we should tell her that too.” 

He chuckles. “I’m sure she’s probably put two and two together.”

“Probably so.” Callie is definitely one smart cookie, and it wouldn’t be too far fetched to assume she’s realized you and Joe are dating. “Oh, and going back to moving, it’s Florida. Disney is in Florida. That’ll definitely be a selling point for her.”

Joe’s hand moves up and down your side, soothingly. “We’re going the week of her birthday, by the way.” 

Peeking up at him, you double check what’s really obvious but also still so surreal. “To Disney?”

“Yeah.” 

“They let you off for a whole week?” That’s a stunner, for certain. “Coming off a Wrestlemania win? Damn, just how heavy is your pull now?” 

“What?” He seems confused by your question, like he doesn’t understand what you’re saying. And that’s puzzling to you because there’s nothing confusing about what you’re asking. You know enough about WWE to know how this works. He’s gonna retain at WrestleMania and be subsequently thrust deep in promos and segments. “Oh yeah….I’ve got it handled.”

Waiting for more is a waste of time with this man. He can be so coy sometimes. “You’re not gonna tell me anything more, are you?”

“Nope.” 

“Ass.” His elusive behavior is becoming both familiar and given but still annoying nonetheless. Regardless, you take your turn, switching topics a bit. “Have I told you how proud of you I am? Cause I am. So so proud of you, Joe. I always knew you could do it.” You lift up, biting down on your bottom lip as you push some of his hair back. “You’re gonna hold the record for most main events at Wrestlemania. Beating Hulk’s record. Thee fucking Hulk Hogan. And once you whoop Ken doll’s ass, you’re gonna have the third longest title reign in WWE history. Do you know how amazing that is?”

His hand is on your hip, making soft circles. “It’s not everything….”

Scoffing, you dismiss his dismissal. That is quite literally everything he ever told you he wanted. “The hell it isn’t. I remember every conversation we ever had about this, Leati. Your worries. Your hopes. Your dreams. This is what you’ve always wanted and worked your whole life for.” He’d always been so open and vulnerable about where he ultimately wanted his career to go, the burning desire he had to make it happen, and to see him do just that means the world to you. It should mean the world to him.

But there’s something off about his tone, and you can’t quite make out if it’s because he’s still reeling from the loss or something else. It almost feels like everything you’re saying is going in one ear and out the other because it no longer means that much to him. You know that can’t be the case. Not with how long he’s been grinding and working his ass off. 

His tone and expression are both appreciative as he shares, “I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much your support meant to me. You always knew the right thing to say.”

You lean down to kiss him, nice and slow. “I’m just really good at that shit.” Biting down on your bottom lip, you slowly start to snake your hand down his chest. “I’m really good at a lot of shit actually.” Whatever is bothering him, you know one way to help.

A really really good way.

Chuckling, his jaw clenches when you try to wrap your hand around him, fingers unable to connect from his width. He’s already hard for you. “You lock the door?”

You’ve never been so grateful for hotel rooms with bedroom doors that lock.

“Of course.” There’s no time wasted in moving so that you’re on top of him, reaching to align him just right so you can sink down on your favorite pastime. 

“My turn….”

—----------

Someone knocking on your door, loudly, at 11am, just hours after you land back in town wasn’t on your agenda for the day.

You, Callie, and Alexis caught an early morning flight that was difficult for everyone giving how crazy busy the weekend was, but especially for Callie who was already sad at having to say bye to her dad again and was still tired from lack of adequate sleep. 

You’re especially happy you chose to take today off and keep Callie home from preschool. You definitely need time to recover.

But life has a way of lifing. You’re immediately annoyed, looking beside you to see that Alexis is also stirring in her sleep, mumbling something about ‘fuck off.’ Sighing loudly, you stare at the ceiling, almost ready to leave whoever it is outside. But then they knock again, and you know this isn’t someone you can avoid. 

Even if you’re very tempted. Reaching for a robe, you pull it on and tie it around your wait, sliding your slippers on to make your way to the front door. Not even bothering to look through the peephole, you rip it open, ready to curse someone out when you see who it is.

Alyssa’s striking blue eyes are the first thing you noticed followed by the shine of the police badge attached to Officer Austin’s uniform. 

Why the hell is a police officer and one of the town’s social worker at your door?

“Hi….” You have to clear your voice, sleep weighing it down with coarse grit. “Is…is everything alright?” Panic briefly sets in. “Is it one of my students?”

This is the part of being a teacher that guts you, when a child is being harmed or at risk of being harmed and you have to make a call that does both a lot of good and a lot of bad. Alyssa has been the social worker you’ve worked with the most, but this is definitely the first time she’s come to your house about a case.

“Y/N…..” Her expression is grim, and you realize quickly that whatever it is is not good. Not good at all. “We received a report against you.”

“A report?” Your hand is gripping the door so tightly, you’re certain splinters are going to embed themselves into the pads of your fingers. But it’s a much better feeling than what’s starting to grow in the pit of your stomach. “What—what kind of report?”

There’s hesitation, and you understand why when she clarifies. “An immediate danger report.” 

“No.” Your stomach drops. “Alyssa, you can’t—-you can’t be serious.”

Your head is absolutely spinning. This…this can’t be right. A social worker and police officer cannot be standing at your door saying that someone called DCFS on you and made a report that not only is Callie in danger, but she’s in immediate danger. 

You’ve had the unfortunate experience of being the one to make reports, working plenty with Alyssa and the local police to navigate these cases. And it’s in that experience you’ve learned the definition of an immediate danger report and what it requires.

The immediate removal of a child from the accused home and custody.

They want to take Callie from you. 

Officer Austin speaks in an equally sympathetic tone. “Trust me, Y/N. I’ve known you since you were a little girl, and this makes me sick to my stomach. I hate it. I know it’s all lies and a waste of time and resources, but you know the law. We have to—“

However, you’re focused on Alyssa as you know the police are only brought along in case the situation becomes hostile. You have no desire to get physical with law enforcement, but you will get down on your hands and knees if that’s what it takes to keep your baby with you. “Please don’t do this. Alyssa, you know me—“

“I do, and that’s why I arranged where she’ll be released to your mom for custody and I got a hearing scheduled with the judge for you on Wednesday. It’ll only be three days—” If it wasn’t for the pending mental breakdown, you’d be more appreciative. You’d much rather Callie be sent to stay with your mom instead of put in emergency foster care.

You’re not sure if you’d be able to live with that. 

“Oh my god…..” You feel like you’re going to pass out, suddenly aware of Alexis' presence as she too asks more questions about what’s going on and who made this report. She’s, understandably, pissed. But, her last question is a no brainer. 

There’s only one person you know who would have a motive to do something like this.

“Three days without speaking or seeing my child! You know how attached she is to me, Alyssa!” It’s also in your experience with these types of situations that you know zero communication is allowed between the child and parent being accused until the emergency court hearing takes place. 

Three days without being able to speak to Callie….pain like this should never be allowed to be experienced. It’s a nightmare turned into reality. 

She truly looks remorseful, and you know she finds this just as ridiculous as you. “My hands are tied Y/N.”

Voice low, you finally ask, “what are the accusations?” If an answer was given to Alexis, you didn’t hear it, and regardless. You need to ask for yourself.

“Y/N.”

You repeat, no room for argument or refusal in your tone. “What…are the accusations, Alyssa?”

She swallows, answering in a low tone. “Child endangerment. Specifically….you’ve been accused of leaving Callie unintended to meet men for sex, and the accusation that made it immediate danger….is that you plan to prostitute Callie.”

It takes everything in you not to projectile vomit right on the spot, as you move your hand to your stomach, bent over. There aren’t enough words to describe your disgust and revulsion. 

Alyssa starts to provide more basic information regarding getting Callie back, but it's a waste of time.

You know this. You’re more than well aware of how this process works. Just never in a million years did you think you’d be involved in one of your own.

Absolutely defeated and crushed, you ask, “let me talk to her first, please.”

“Of course.” 

Alexis stays behind to follow up with additional questions that you’re partially paying attention to, but the majority of your focus is on staying upright. You could throw up and pass out on cue at this very moment. That’s how overwhelmed you feel, but the second your shaking hand opens Callie’s door, it’s an even bigger battle.

She’s still sleeping. 

Your sweet, innocent child is still sleeping, probably trying to recover from all the festivities from this weekend. And you have to wake her up. You have to wake her up to undoubtedly break her heart.

“Oh God…..” Hand on your stomach, you take three, big, deep breaths to settle your nervous system. Callie can’t see how much of a wreck you are. That’s only going to make it worse.

Sitting on the side of her bed, you clench and unclench your hands to minimize the shaking before gently pushing on her shoulder. “Calista, baby, I need you to get up.” It takes a couple of times, as you knew it would because you know your child like the back of your hand. The child who you would never do anything to endanger or any of the other egregious accusations made against you resulting in this nightmare.

Eyes blinking open, you chuckle at the pout on her face.

“I’m sleepy, mommy….”

“I know, baby.” You clear your throat, playing off the way emotion catches you, almost exposing the seriousness of this moment. “But…mommy needs you to get up. You….you’ve gotta go by grandma, okay?”

She looks at you, still with that pout and very much still partially sleep. “Can we go later?”

“No, baby. I—” This is inarguably one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do. “I can’t go with you.”

And this is when you see her pout deepen. “Why?”

“Callie….” Hand on her face, you try to ignore the sound of your heart shattering. “You’re not gonna see mommy or be able to talk to me for a couple days, baby.”

And you knew, you knew before even opening your mouth that her eyes would begin to water that telling her this harsh but necessary truth would cause the reaction you’re starting to see. Her face is reddening, mouth dropped into a permanent frown.

It tears you apart to do this to her. “Baby, please don’t cry. It’s only for three days and—and you’ll have grandma, and—and auntie Alexis will visit you, and I’ll make sure daddy talks to you as often as he can—”

“But what about you? You’re my mommy.” She rubs at her eyes, crying harder. “Why are you leaving me?”

Pulling her into your chest, you swear to her, “listen to me, Callie, I will never ever leave you. Okay? The…the people who make sure little kids like you are safe and taken care of just want to make sure I’m a good mommy to you, o-okay?”

“But you’re the best mommy,” she cries into you, and a sob leaves your throat at that. Callie’s heartfelt tears, the fear and confusion in her little voice. It rips your heart to shreds. You hold her as long as you can before helping her get dressed and

gather a little backpack with a few items. 

You know she already has mostly everything she’ll need at your mom’s already.

Everything except you. 

Alyssa allows you to hold her as you walk down to the police car, but it’s when Officer Austin opens the door and Callie begins to cry, asking him, “please don’t take me from my mommy!” that you break again.

It’s impossible to keep your composure with your four-year-old child begging not to be taken from you. Pulling it together, you kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, reminding her that you love her, and that you’ll see her again before she knows it. It’s the best you can do, it’s the only thing you can do. 

Setting her down on the ground, you crouch in front of her, placing both hands on her cheeks. “Ms. Alyssa and this nice officer are gonna bring you to grandma right now, okay? I promise I’m gonna get you as soon as I can, baby, and no one will ever take you away from me again, okay?” 

She doesn’t say anything, face still full of heartbreak. She hugs you again, holding on tight. “I love you, mommy.”

Voice cracking, you whisper, “I love you too, baby.”

Eventually finding the strength, you break away and stand up to see Alyssa wiping a tear from her eyes. She then forces a sad smile and takes Callie’s hand, leading her into the back of the police car. Even being buckled in, you see Callie continuing to look back at you, sadness morphing with helplessness. 

And that’s the last view you’ll have of your daughter, looking hopeless and confused as to why this is happening. 

But you know exactly why this is happening. 

And you know exactly what you need to do.

“Y/N…..” 

Alexis watery eyes are a brief view you have before dashing up the stairs and throwing open your apartment door. Shaking hands manage to grab you car keys off the kitchen island as you head back for the front door only to find that you can’t march out because Alexis is standing in front of the door. 

“Move out my way, Alexis.” 

“Y/N. You’re upset. Okay—”

Snapping, you shout at her. “Move! Now!”

She doesn’t hesitate to match your energy. “Not until you fucking calm down!”

Snapping, you scream. “She just got my child taken away from me, Alexis! Don’t tell me to calm down! I’m gonna smash her fucking face in!”

Never…..never in a million years did you think Mariah could be capable of something like this. That she could be evil as to call DCFS on you, make up lies so horrific that it sickens you to even think about them, and have your child ripped away from you. Damn what this has done to you. What about Callie? Was she even thinking about how traumatic this would be for Callie?

She’ll be thinking about it when you stomp her head into the fucking pavement.

“Hey! You have every right to be upset, okay? But, this is probably what she wants! She knows they’re not gonna find anything on you, but you go over there and beat her ass, it puts the spotlight on you and then gives them a basis to question your fitness.” Alexis is such a sound voice of reason right now, but it’s hard to heed when your literal heart has just been ripped from your fucking body. “You need to focus on doing what you need to do to get Callie back, okay? Call Joe—”

Joe.

You hadn’t….you hadn’t even thought about him. How can you explain this to him? Explain to him that your child, the child he just found out about not even six months ago is now technically in custody of DCFS because of your friend. Is that even forgivable? Beyond that, how crushing is that going to be for him?

Eyes watering, you shake your head, volume a few octaves lowered. You feel like you’re about to have a panic attack. “No, I can’t—-I can’t tell him.”

Alexis steps to you, placing her hands on your face, centering you. “Yes, you can, and you will. He needs to know, and you need support right now. I’m here for you, of course, but that’s the man you love. You need him.” Her expression then darkens. “And don’t you worry about Mariah. I got that hoe. Believe that. You don’t have to put a hand on her. Imma do it for you.” 

Alexis words do both everything and nothing for you. Granted, you’re not sure if anything will be substantial enough short of having your child returned to your custody or all of this being some sick joke. 

You’re not even sure when Alexis walks away to grab your phone until she’s reaching it to you. “Call him, sweetie. I promise you he’s not going to blame you. He’s going to be upset for the same reasons you are: because this is all bullshit. But please, Y/N, just….call this man.”

Finally taking the phone, she nods with a small smile. She then goes to remove her earrings and pull back her hair. “I’m gonna go curb stump this hoe.”

Alexis goes to the back, and you just stare at your phone. You once thought calling Joe to tell him about Callie’s existence would be one of the hardest phone calls you would ever have to make. 

God, you were so wrong. 

Trembling fingers tap on the phone to bring up his contact, and with tears streaming down your face, you hit call.

Whether for better or worse, he doesn’t answer, forcing you to leave a voicemail message. 

“Hey.” It’s a fruitless and meritless effort to keep your voice strong when you feel anything but. “I–I need you to call me as soon as you get a chance….please.” Hitting end, both you and the phone drop on the floor. On your knees, you finally release the sob you’d been holding in for the past twenty minutes. Moments later, Alexis is besides you, comforting you.

Not that it does any good. 

There is no good left.

Only pain.

[ravenelyx]

I love you in every timeline - Prologue: In Search of Lost Time

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x Fem!Reader

Words: 1.9k

Chapter Warnings: angst if you squint, Harry Potter characters appearance, no name appearance (not even y/n dw), some swearing, use of 2nd person for the reader (I know I know but I promise it makes sense for the story)

Summary: "He turned around, and the world seemed to stop around him. She had followed him: into another timeline, into another universe.". In which Sebastian, in his search for a cure in the Dark Arts, finds himself 100 years into the future and meets his most trusted companion's descendant (who looks far too similar to the girl he was once secretly in love with).

A/N: this is the first english fic I've written, so I'm terrified. Anyway, Trimetravel! AU with Sebastian Sallow. Some background info: Reader is not MC; Reader is a Gryffindor, MC was a Slytherin; MC was a Pureblood, Reader is a Muggle Born. Also, english is not my first language so if you find any mistakes, I deeply apologise. Not proof-read (for obvious reasons).

→ Find the rest of the fanfiction here on AO3 :)

"For we are not as faithful to the being we have most loved as we are to ourselves and sooner or later we forget her — since that is one of our characteristics — so as to start loving another." - Marcel Proust, In Search of Lost Time

If a chasm had opened under Sebastian's feet and swallowed him all the way to the depths of hell, he would have gladly accepted his demise there and then.

Unfortunately, its mercy seemed to be out of business that day — or any other day in his life, really.

Sebastian paced the corridors, a frown adorning his face; he had just come out of the Headmaster's office due to the absolute disaster that had occurred to him just a few hours prior.

After weeks of research, he had finally found something that could help him, a breakthrough with which he could finally achieve his goal. An artefact so powerful that it could break the fabric of time and space, something that could help his poor sister live a happy and healthy life again. He did not care that they were not on speaking terms at the moment: he would find a way to talk to her so that she would take this last chance. He would force her if he had to. It was his last hope, and Merlin knows he had tried everything.

If he had known about the artefact's effects earlier, he would have thought twice before using it.

"So, Mr Sallow, could you be so kind as to tell us how you came to be in our time?" the Headmaster, who had earlier introduced himself as Albus Dumbledore, had asked him.

Truth was that not having stopped dwelling with the Dark Arts in search of a cure for Anne had led him to find himself in another timeline instead. His face twitched: in terms of unlikelihood, the scales seemed pretty unbalanced.

It had been a brief conversation, really, with Sebastian omitting some details (like his friendship with an Ancient Magic wielder or the murder of his uncle, for which he bore full responsibility) and grimacing against his own will when the Headmaster had looked at him through his half-moon shaped glasses as if asking him, 'Why are you lying to me?'

He had pushed the thoughts away as quickly as they had come: it wasn't like he could read his mind... or could he?

Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief when the Headmaster had dismissed him after giving him specific instructions on how to behave until they found a way to return him to his timeline — one of which was, "Please don't inform anyone of your condition unless it's absolutely necessary." That had seemed quite reasonable to him, so he nodded.

The artefact was damaged, as expected, and unlikely to work again unless a powerful form of magic came into contact with it and repaired it: something like Ancient Magic, perhaps, or a miracle.

"I see you're still causing trouble everywhere you fare, aren't you, Mr Sallow?" the familiar voice of Phineas Nigellus Black had mocked from his portrait, effectively startling him. Sebastian had looked up and into the eyes of his old Headmaster, his mouth falling open at the sight of him. He looked old, weary, and angrier somehow — yet, in a way, he had brought Sebastian some form of comfort, almost. A sense of familiarity.

Before he could have said anything, Black had disappeared, and a woman with severe blue eyes and long robes had escorted him out of the office.

-

Sebastian looked around at his familiar surroundings, which would have been almost comforting if not for the nameless faces looking at him with curiosity: Hogwarts students tended to recognise each other effortlessly, and anyone who didn't fit into that bundle of familiarity was to be ostracised. He remembered all too well when he was the one helping the new fifth-year find her way around those same corridors, except he didn't need guidance: this was his home, after all.

But he did have a guide, and she wasn't as charming a student as he was either.

The Head of the Gryffindor House walked right next to him, a stern expression on her face made even more prominent by the shadow of her large witch hat. The woman Sebastian had come to know as Minerva McGonagall was also the Transfiguration teacher and Deputy Headmistress, at least it seemed that way, which was no doubt why she was accompanying him rather than the Head of his own House.

Sebastian decided not to ask himself any questions and do what the Headmaster told him to: attend class, fit in, and pretend to be either a transfer student or someone with a complex background — he hadn't decided which story to tell yet (and both, in a way or another, would be true).

The clacking of Professor McGonagall's shoes stopped so abruptly that he almost would have missed it if she hadn't started speaking.

"You're about to meet two of your new classmates. Prefects of the Gryffindor House." She raised her left arm in their direction, and his eyes followed it to two red and gold robes leading into warm faces.

"I am pleased to introduce you to Ms Hermione Granger—" she gestured to the girl with curly hair to her left, who wore a friendly smile all while maintaining a serious and clean look, "—and Mr Ronald Weasley." Sebastian's eyes shot to the boy to his right when he heard the familiar name, and to be honest, he might not have needed an introduction at all: the red-haired boy gave him a wry smile, his freckles standing out even more in the natural light. He would have recognised those features anywhere.

Finally, Sebastian noticed their uniforms. He didn't pay much attention to the boy's — he himself also wore a very similar one, uncomfortable and informal as it seemed to him — for his eyes were fixed on the girl's. She was wearing a grey cardigan with red and gold trim, the colours of her House, and her skirt was much shorter than he remembered, with black denier tights covering the rest of her legs. Sebastian felt himself blushing slightly and averted his eyes.

He wondered why the Slytherin prefects were unsuited to the situation: at the end of the day, he was a Slytherin, too. Sebastian didn't undergo the Sorting again — the Professors didn't seem to deem it necessary, not to mention the Hat had recognised him from his shelf, too. He didn’t forget easily.

McGonagall turned back to Sebastian and briefly adjusted his robes, her face softening slightly, "For the time being, it is best if you don't draw attention to yourself. We will find a solution," she straightened her posture and nodded at him, "Welcome to Hogwarts." She turned on her heels and walked away, leaving him with the two Gryffindors.

He studied their faces for a moment, searching for the right words to say, deciding on which story to tell, but the only thing he could muster was: "How come you're Gryffindors?"

The two students stared at him, appalled, and he mentally slapped himself. He wanted to correct his statement and explain his intention, but the girl stopped him before he could even form a coherent thought.

"You're wondering why they asked us to guide you and not the Slytherin Prefects, am I right?"

Either his question wasn't that unclear, or the girl had excellent deduction skills, and judging by the epiphany on the other boy's face when he understood the meaning of her words, it was most likely the latter.

Sebastian sighed inwardly and nodded, mentally promising not to stumble over his words again.

The boy — Ronald, Sebastian recalled — chimed in: "Because otherwise you'd have to deal with Malfoy, and he's an idio—" the girl slapped him on the arm and gave him a warning look before turning back to Sebastian.

Malfoy, Sebastian thought. A family of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. It was clear why a Weasley would want nothing to do with him.

Sebastian wondered if they still held the same values as in his day: if the Malfoys were still blood maniacs, and so was the person they spoke of, or if he wanted to distance himself from his family as Ominis did. Judging by Ronald's opinion of him, Sebastian did not think that was possible, but then again, he did not know the fellow. Maybe, Sebastian thought, things had moved on after a century: no blood wars, discrimination or superiority complexes. Perhaps this was all just a simple rivalry between two students from different Houses.

"Professor Dumbledore thought us to be best suited for this difficult situation. No other student but us knows about your... misadventure," said Hermione.

To call it a "misadventure" would be an understatement , Sebastian wanted to say. As it turned out, however, he didn't need a story to tell. He didn't know whether to feel betrayed by the Professors who had decided to disclose that information or relieved that he didn't have to go through it all alone. A beat of silence followed, in which Sebastian could only nod at the girl's words, and then it was interrupted abruptly.

"Where have you been?" called a voice from the end of the corridor, directly behind Sebastian.

He turned around, and the world seemed to stop around him.

He definitely didn't have to go through it all alone because there she was. Standing a few feet away from him, looking straight at him, was the person who had accompanied him on all his adventures.

She had followed him: into another timeline, into another universe.

He felt his lips twist into a grin, and he beamed at the sight of her. Had she been looking for him?

He frowned a little as he noticed her expression: she seemed annoyed, almost angry. Perhaps she had no intention of following him and had just ended up here for no reason? Were the two of them connected on a deeper level than he thought? Or perhaps she was just worried for him and angry he didn't look for her too?

The girl started to walk towards them, and his smile widened even more the closer she got.

She was almost there when he realised she wasn't sparing him a glance.

Instead, her eyes were focused on the red-haired boy next to him, who was staring at her in horror, looking completely terrified.

Sebastian looked back at the girl, finally noticing the red and gold tie around her neck where a green and silver one usually belonged, a crease in her eyebrows that wasn't there before, and her eyes were a different colour than he remembered.

What the hell is going on here?  he thought, staring at her wide-eyed.

"Ron, for God's sake, I've been looking all over for you! Do you intend to give me back my book before class starts, or should I pull a new one out of a hat because you can't use your own?" she threw her hands in the air disapprovingly.

Ron stuttered briefly before hesitantly pointing at the Slytherin boy next to him, "I've just had too much to do. Prefect stuff, you know."

The girl scowled at him before turning to the said boy, her eyes softening slightly. "Oh! You're the new fifth-year!"

Sebastian's eye twitched. How bloody ironic.

"I'm Sebastian Sallow," he replied feebly, body stock-still like marble.

"Nice to meet you," she smiled politely.

And then she introduced herself.

His breath caught in his throat. Sebastian could have recognised that surname anywhere, but her name fell completely deaf on his ears.

You weren't her.

--

→ Chapter 1

[macgyvermedical]

My Experience in Inpatient Psych

So I know a lot of people on here have talked about their experience in inpatient psych facilities, but I'd like to add mine just to give all you writers out there a writer-focused one. It's below the cut just in case you have to sit this one out for your own reasons.

To give you some background, I am 30 years old and have had hallucinations since about 16 and bizarre intrusive thoughts (someone living in my house that wasn't supposed to be there, somebody poisoned my walls, etc...) for about a decade, as well as very severe anxiety since I was about 3 years old. This is something not a lot of people know about me, even people I am friends with IRL.

The only thing I am actually diagnosed with is anxiety, which I'm starting to think is a failing of the psych systems I have been a part of. I have had counseling off and on and prior to this hospitalization I took escitalopram, aripiprazole, and gabapentin prescribed by my primary care doctor- all for the severe anxiety.

Quite frankly, I should have been in inpatient psych at least a few times before this, and it's by sheer dumb luck that I've survived to continue this blog.

On Friday, I was at home alone and made a few pretty bad decisions. I wont say what they were because frankly they're embarrassing, but they have to do with self-harm. I was scheduled to work Saturday and at about 9pm I realized that if I drove myself to work I would crash my car. Since my wife drives me sometimes, I figured I would just ask her to.

I told my wife and she asked- even if she drove me to work, since I was a nurse, would I be able to keep myself safe around insulin or other potentially dangerous drugs? I couldn't answer that question. We talked for a couple hours and came to the conclusion that I probably needed to go to the emergency department.

At this point I figured they would evaluate me and release me because I couldn't possibly meet the criteria for inpatient. I was wrong in this assumption. After telling them the decisions I had made that day, the feelings of wanting to die in a car crash, plus about a previous attempt, they recommended inpatient. Turns out, when you're a nurse, you can make some really bad life choices with the knowledge you have, and they didn't want to take any chances.

I was given paper scrubs to wear (so I couldn't hurt myself with my clothing or a hospital gown). I was also given a patient companion (someone who sits in the room and makes sure you don't hurt yourself).

They gave me the option of signing myself in voluntarily, or putting me on a writ of detention. A writ of detention is a piece of paperwork that allows a medical professional or law enforcement officer to hold someone for 3 days in a psychiatric facility against the person's will for the purposes of psychiatric treatment. Whether you sign the voluntary or get placed on a writ, you cannot sign yourself out. You need to wait until the psychiatrist taking care of you thinks you're ready to go.

I didn't believe at this point I needed to go inpatient, but I took the voluntary option because there are some perks, like being able to leave within 3 days if appropriate. At this point I was convinced I was probably going to have to call off work Saturday and Sunday, probably be out of the hospital Monday, have a few days to rest and be back at work on my next scheduled shift after that, which was Thursday.

Well, that's not what happened.

Because of some of the decisions I had made, along with bed availability, they wanted to keep me in the observation unit overnight before they sent me to psych. I stayed overnight in a unit that shares staff with the unit I work on, so I was taken care of by my coworkers. This was surprisingly not that bad. I like my coworkers and they were really professional about it.

Saturday I felt like I was in a fog all day. I couldn't watch TV. I couldn't color or write. I worked out some in my hospital room and paced the halls once or twice. Mostly I hung out with my wife and occasionally talked with my companion, but even talking was difficult. I had refused ativan because I felt like I had no hope of finding a medication that made me feel better, and I figured I didn't want to take the one medication that might actually work and then not be able to get it ever again.

Around 7PM I took a 45 minute ambulance ride to the facility. Getting my blood pressure taken is a big anxiety trigger for me, but my brain felt so scrambled that I couldn't express this well. They took it every 10 minutes on the ride there and by the time I got there it was in the 170s/100s (BP goes up when you're having severe anxiety). This was not their fault of course, but no matter how much I thought about telling them or refusing the BPs, I just couldn't do it.

When I got to the facility I was greeted by a tech who took my BP again (150s/90s this time), showed me around and looked through my personal belongings (basically just the clothing I came in with since my wife took my phone and wallet knowing I wouldn't be able to have them on the unit) to make sure I didn't have anything I wasn't allowed to on the unit. She showed me around my room and was really thorough with telling me how things worked, what the rules were, etc..

The rules included:

No patients allowed in other patients rooms

No personal belongings that had strings, belts, or laces, or that could be used as a weapon

No caffeine after lunch and no free access to caffeine

No personal electronics (including eReaders and watches). There was a TV in the day room and 2 phones mounted to the wall for patient use

A little later my nurse came into my room and asked me a ton of questions. Here's the thing about any hospital- you get asked the same questions over and over. By the time I'd gotten there I could give my story in under a minute. Or at least, that's what it felt like. There were only 2 clocks on the unit, at the nurses stations.

The unit itself was laid out in a "T" shape. There was a main nurse's station at the place where the two hallways intersected. At the end of the long hallway there was another smaller nurses station, a cafeteria/day room, and a "comfort room" which was a small room off the day room that had a collection of the oldest and worst donated books that have every come together on a bookshelf.

I did some pacing that night and then went to bed, but didn't sleep particularly well.

On Sunday morning the tech woke me up to take my blood pressure, which was, not unsurprisingly, still high. It was about 5 AM so I got up and paced the longer of the corridors for about an hour. Breakfast was served at 8 and the food wasn't that bad. The coffee was about the worst I'd ever drank, which I suppose helped with the no caffeine goals.

Just after breakfast I met with a psychiatrist on an iPad for about half a minute, and I'm not exaggerating there. The only questions he asked were whether I was suicidal and whether I would be fine with tripling my dose of aripiprazole in light of the hallucinations. I had had a 50-lb weight gain in the last year so I asked to switch my med. He switched the med to cariprazine. That was all.

I had a much longer meeting with my nurse later. All the nurses did an excellent job of assessing me, asked tons of questions, and it seemed like they really tried to figure out what was going on. That day I also met with a social worker, and a therapist, and a nurse practitioner. Each of them did an assessment to see what my needs were while I was there.

There was also a music therapy session where I cried my eyes out to Because of You by Kelly Clarkson.

I was really tired by the end of the day but I also didn't think I could sleep so I asked for trazodone. I should clarify that when I say "I" in this piece I really mean my wife convinced me to ask because I legitimately didn't believe I needed or deserved any of the things I asked for at this point. To my utter shock and surprise, they gave me the trazodone.

My first night on trazodone was amazing and I realized I hadn't slept well in a long time. With trazodone I fell asleep and stayed asleep until the blood pressure cart came rolling down the hallway at 5am. The second I got up on Monday morning I was wide awake.

I paced a lot Monday. I went to a goals session in the morning where I gave a goal to write 3/4 of a page. I didn't know if I could do it or what I was even going to write about, but I know I like to write and it might be a reasonable introduction to getting back to life.

I also was having kind of a rough day brain-wise. My brain was coming up with all the ways I could hurt myself in my room. There weren't a lot of them, but it was trying. I told the nurse during her assessment and she asked if I felt I could keep myself safe. I asked her what she would do if I said no. She said they could move me to a more secure part of the unit and give me more supervision. I knew what part of the unit she was talking about, and I didn't want to go there (no space to pace, and pacing was keeping me alive right then). So I told her I could keep myself safe (if anything, the idea of moving was good motivation to do stay safe in itself). I hallucinated some black and white blood cells falling from the ceiling and music coming out of my vents.

I also had another meeting with the social worker to figure out discharge plans. I voiced in the meeting that I wasn't sure that I could trust my wife, since it felt like at the time she was the one who exaggerated my symptoms to get me in here. The social worker said we had really good communication skills, since this was something I felt needed to be said in front of both of them and we both stayed really calm through the whole thing.

I finished the day with an art therapy session that really helped me turn a corner. The prompt was to draw the emotion(s) you felt right now on one side of the paper, and to draw the emotions you wished you could feel on the other side. For the first time I realized that my emotional state was actually really bad and that the suicidality hadn't come out of nowhere, and that I needed help.

When my wife came to visit later that night I was able to tell her about my breakthrough, even though I still felt a little bit like she had done something to get me in here and I still wasn't sure I needed to be inpatient.

Tuesday was a lot better. I felt like I had woken up out of some kind of fog and I had no idea how long I'd been in it. I went to goals group, a spiritual group, and group occupational therapy. My goal was to be more social and I made a friend and we paced together and worked out. I read a quarter of The Martian by Andy Weir (my wife brought it for me because the best thing on the bookshelf was Louis L'Amour). I wrote about how good I suddenly felt. Turns out, I thought, a few days of good sleep, lots of therapy, and a new medication or two will really change things.

A quick side note about The Martian. I highly recommend it to anyone who is chilling in a psych hospital but has the ability to read while they're there (I sure didn't the first few days). I don't really know why, but the first few times I read it, I felt like they had created this superhuman character in Mark Watney just so they could throw a ton of wild things at him for the story. This time reading it, as a suddenly not suicidal person, I realized anyone with Mark's skill would have done the same thing and not just died on Sol 7 to get it over with.

Wednesday I woke up not feeling nearly as good as Tuesday, but still like the fog had lifted. I was a little disappointed (I hallucinated my cat (thanks for coming to visit me, Corina), some spiders, and just felt kinda meh. But I remembered how good I felt the day before, and that really kept me hopeful about going home.

I saw the psychiatrist again and asked to go home. He joked a little about me staying till Christmas, but ultimately he said as soon as his note was in I could go. I ended up leaving at about 12:30 with my wife.

In the time since leaving I have required a lot of support from my wife. The medications are all locked up, so are the blades and anything I could use to hurt myself. My wife has me in eyeshot at all times. I can't drive due to intrusive thoughts, so she does all the driving now. I quit my job because I feel like it was a big part of why I ended up as bad as I was. As someone who has been a pretty independent person this is a big change of pace, but something that is really necessary to my healing.

Ultimately at the end of my hospital stay, I was prescribed escitalopram, gabapentin, trazodone, cariprazine, and then a few days later propranolol. I'm currently on a total of 5 psych meds and honestly I don't care one bit because its so much better than being not on them at this point in my life.

[msnanu]

Life Twist 01 | JJK

⏤banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren't expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK's noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 5k+

⏤ author's note❧ I just wanted to state that this is the first time I write a fic - so bear with me, please 😌 - also just as an FYI, I don't have an specific schedule to update since you know.. adult life hahaha but I'm already working on next chapter. I love this story and I hope you get to love it as much as I do 💜

You were finishing unpacking your clothes when your phone started to ring, you smiled seeing that your screen was flashing with Chris’s name on it. Christian – aka Chris – has been your best friend since you were 15, you met him during your high school years through acquaintances and you clicked immediately.

You both feel like you’re each other’s soulmate but of course only in a platonic way, although a lot of people tend to misinterpret and think that there’s more to your friendship. It’s hard for people to understand that a woman and a man can be just friends without any sexual desires but to be honest at this point of your life you don’t care about what others might think of your relationship with your best friend.

‘Hey y/n, finished unpacking yet?’ asks your best friend with his chirpy tone as soon as you pick up the call

‘Hey Chris, ughhhhh no... still working on it, but I promise I’m making progress, I finished with almost every room of the apartment, I’m cleaning up in my bedroom right now. I think by tomorrow I might have everything in order’ you say while biting your lip and looking at your clothes scattered all over the new assembled bed, I mean... at least it doesn’t look any more like a tornado came through your window

‘I told you I could’ve helped you; you can be so stubborn sometimes’ you hear your friend sigh and although you can’t see him you know he’s shaking his head at you

‘No no…You’ve already helped me enough, if it wasn’t for you, I would never had the balls to move to another country – so take a rest of me, bestie’ And that is totally true, he had helped you with all the immigration bureaucracy, he also basically got your new apartment. While you were still at your native country, he went on apartment hunting and showed you the different options you had through videocalls, gave you tons of tips so you wouldn't miss anything while moving to another country since he had experience in that area. After all, he had moved to Seoul 2 years prior to you.

‘You would’ve done the same for me, we both know that!’ you smile while hearing your friend because you know that’s also true, you both would do anything for each other without hesitating.

He doesn’t give you the chance to respond anything and keeps going: ‘Anyways, I was actually calling you to invite you to a birthday party tonight – it’s Jackson’s birthday, remember I told you about him? He’s that friend that works at my gym. We were talking today, and I might have slipped that you moved to Seoul recently and he told me to invite you, he really wants to meet you’

‘Me? Why would he want to meet me?’ you respond with a surprised tone

‘According to Jackson’s words and I quote: he is really curious to get to know the only girl I’ve retained in my life without sleeping with her’ he says with amusing tone

He cackles when he hears you snorting ‘Wow, now that’s a good way to convince me to go to a birthday party of someone that I don’t even know’

‘It might not be the best invitation but at least is a chance to meet new people and make some friends’ he says that since he knows you struggle when it comes to meeting new people

‘Um..I have friends, I have you’ you respond almost immediately

‘You’re a sweetheart but I’m talking about other people than me, although you know how I love all your attention on me, babe’he says while chuckling because he’s already imagining how you’re rolling your eyes at him after you heard that pet name

‘Oh my god you’re so full of yourself – ughh, okay you’re right, I should get to know new people. New country, new life… new friends I guess’, you say a little insure knowing you’re not the most sociable person in the world but it would be kind of nice to have people to hang out other than Chris

‘And maybe you can get some action too, it’s been what? A year without any proper activity?’ he talks without any filter like he usually does

‘Wha- Okay, I’m hanging up on you. I’m not in the mood to talk about my sex life right now’ you respond acting offended though you both know that you're just teasing each other

‘Or the lack of –’ When Chris hears your gasp he chuckles and says immediately ‘Sorry sorry, just kidding bestie, I’ll pick you up around 9PM, don’t make me wait pleaseeee, byeeeee byeeeeee see ya. I love you’

You can’t even get mad at him for calling you out on your sadly lack of sex, it’s not like he’s wrong. So, you just laugh it off and respond by saying ‘Fuck off - You’re unbelievable. K, don’t worry I’ll be ready when you get here. See u later, love you too” 

Once you end your call with Chris, you grab some of the last items left in the moving boxes. You come upon a frame, it's a picture of you and your dad when you were 4 years old on your summer vacations at a swimming pool where he was teaching you how to swim. One of the many things that your dad taught you in life. Your eyes start to feel watery at the sight of your dad's sweet smile and with a deep sigh you give a kiss to the picture. You place the frame on your nightstand and while cleaning a few tears that dropped on your cheeks you can only whisper - "I really hope I'm making you proud dad, I'm finally looking for my happiness ".

°•○•°●♤♡◇♧•°○•°□▪︎☆♤

You look at yourself in the mirror, thinking you did a decent work with your make up and cleaned yourself up pretty good after a long day of putting everything in order at your new apartment. You weren't so sure on what to wear for Jackson's birthday party, so you just went for an all-black outfit: leather jacket, mini leather skirt, a Ramones shirt that you love and combat boots.

After looking at your reflection in the mirror one last time, you took a selfie and sent it over to Chris to ask him if you were dressed properly for the occasion, which he replied with: 'You look gorgeous babe, almost too perfect for the occasion! I'll pick you up in about half an hour ;)' – you can’t help but smile at his compliment. You know he's nothing but honest with you, whenever he had to tell you that you looked like shit, he would do it. And of course, it goes both ways.

Your best friend is punctual as always, 9PM sharp he was at your building entry texting you that he was outside your home. Jackson’s place wasn’t that far away from yours, only about 10 minutes on a car drive. While Chris was driving, you chit chatted about your exhausting day, and he told you that this girl – Hani was her name you wanna say? - that he’s been hooking up for the past month asked him the golden question ‘What are we? Where is our relationship going?’ and that’s where Chris decided to put an end to the hooking up. He just doesn’t want anything serious right now and is totally understandable.

From what your friend has told you, Hani got really upset at his response, although to be fare... he did warn her when they started hooking up that he wasn't looking for anything serious, he’s not an asshole that goes around giving false hopes to any girl.

It’s been like this with Chris for a while now, he did had a girlfriend a few years ago and they dated for about 3 years until he found out that she was cheating him with her boss – pretty shitty move if you ask me – she broke his heart and after that he hasn’t been in a serious relationship with anyone, just hook ups until the girl finally gets tired of being just ‘friends with benefits’, that’s how it usually goes.

When you finally arrive at Jackson’s you start to feel slightly nervous, it’s been a while since you got to meet new people and it’s in a total new environment, new country... totally different cultures, a lot to take in. Chris knowing you, holds your hand tightly for a moment and before entering to his friend’s house tells you ‘Don’t worry, he and his friends are all pretty cool people, they’ll love you - now come on, let’s go and start socializing!’. You chuckle at his enthusiasm and as soon as you enter, you’re greeted by Jackson holding a red cup with beer on it.

Jackson smiles at you and your friend and says ‘You’re y/n, right? Wow, you’re even hotter that what I imagined – sorry I don’t mean to be unrespectful, but you know how weird is to see that this guy over here has a female friend and didn’t sleep with her yet? Anyways, it’s so nice to meet you finally, I’m Jackson’ and he immediately gives you a hug which it honestly startled you.

You chuckle and once he’s finished with the hug, you respond ‘I know, it’s always amusing to see how people get surprised that we’re really just best friends. Um, it’s nice to meet you too and happy birthday! Thanks for inviting me over’ you say shily

He keeps smiling at you while he also hugs your best friend (apparently, he’s a hugger) and says ‘Chris’s friends are also my friends, so please make yourself at home – I haven’t invited a lot of people because I actually have a small group of friends, come with me and I’ll introduced them’ and you both follow him to the living room going through a large hall – which by the way, is so freaking beautiful, you can’t stop staring the marble floors and beautiful art works hanging on the walls and you think to yourself how amazing this apartment looks – your thoughts are interrupted by the group of people who’s now in front of you having a discussion about who was the largest hands in the group - though you're not sure you heard right -

And then Jackson speaks getting everyone’s attention ‘Guys, this is y/n, Chris’s best friend – yes, she’s really his friend and she is a woman, I know!! How crazy it sounds, huh? She just moved to Seoul from basically the other side of the world so be nice to her’

One of the guys with a boxy smile says to Jackson ‘Hey! –  we are always nothing but nice, she’ll think poorly of us if you say it like that!’ and Jackson just laughs it off and starts to introduce each and one of them. There’s 10 people right in from of you – which to you, it sounds like a lot of friends, you never had more than 3 o 4 friends (one of them always being Chris of course) so 10 sounds like a lot of people – you learn that the guy with the boxy smile is called Taehyung, then there’s Namjoon, Seokjin – though he told you to call him Jin -, Jimin, Yoongi, Hoseok – or Hobi how he introduced himself - , Aria – which you learn is Hobi’s girlfriend -, Joey, Emma – Joey’s girlfriend – , and last but not least Jungkook who smiled you shily and waved his hand to greet you from afar – you almost gasp at how this last guy seemed like he was built by the God’s themselves, you felt like you wanted to look up to the sky and say ‘WOW, well done!’ – to be honest, they were all insanely attractive but there was something that caught your attention straight to Jungkook and you couldn’t quite wrap on your finger what was it.

The night went smoothly, they all seem to be really friendly and made you feel comfortable as if you were one of them already. You spent most of the time hearing their stories about the last trip they went to last year – Hobi’s parents own a lake house in Chuncheon, which you learn is about an hour away from Seoul – and they’re planning to go again in the next month or so – and you’ve been invited to go with them by Hobi himself which you gladly accepted and thanked him for including you even when you just exchanged a few words with him throughout the night.

Your red cup was empty for the third time by now, so you got up and approached to the table were all the drinks were placed and poured yourself some Soju, while you were at it you feel someone approaching you and then a sweet voice sounds saying ‘Are you having a good time so far?’, you look up and realize that is Jungkook who’s now besides you also pouring himself a drink while he smiles at you.

You also smile at him and respond ‘Yes, I really am. Honestly you guys made me feel really comfortable, I tend to be a lot shier when I meet new people, but I don’t feel that way at all with you’

‘I’m glad you feel that way, sometimes these guys can get loud, me myself included, and people look at us like we’re weirdos’ he chuckles and sees you just nodding while you giggle at him and then he continues ‘Mmh, mind if I ask you what made you move in all across the other side of the world? I don’t wanna intrude, I’m just curious’  

Although you feel comfortable talking to him, you don’t want to get into much detail... at least not yet, telling your whole story about how after your dad’s passing last year you felt like you needed to work in your happiness because you knew that’s all your dad wanted, for you to be happy. You don’t dwell on how you realized that you needed to break up your 9-year-old relationship with your boyfriend – now ex-boyfriend – because you really didn’t share anything in common anymore, you grew out towards different paths, and neither of you wanted to accept it.

So you go with a simple response while Jungkook watches you attentively with those beautiful doe eyes where you feel like you can get lost so easily : ‘You’re not intruding at all’ –  you give him a comforting smile and continue – ‘I always wanted to live somewhere abroad, to have that experience at least once in a lifetime, plus Chris had moved here and he used to say to me how much he loved Seoul and how the people here always treated him so nicely. To be honest, he was a great influence on me moving in here. He’s pretty much like a brother to me so it was easier to decide on moving to another country knowing that he was going to be by my side and I was really missing him back home – though please don’t tell him that I said that, because it will just inflate his ego more’ you both snicker once you’ve finished explaining him part of the reasons why you decided to move to Seoul. Is not like you’re lying but you’re leaving a few big details out of the conversation, maybe some other day you’ll have the opportunity to tell him.

‘Well, I hope you really enjoy being in Seoul, I’m sure I’m enjoying you being here’ he admits shily to you. Your cheeks start to feel like burning and you can’t help but to feel hypnotized by him, God did he have to be this fucking gorgeous?

Before you can respond anything back, Taehyung’s loud voice interrupts the moment that you two were having - ‘Hey you two, what’s with the chit chatting? You better not be talking behind our backs’ while the others laugh because they know he just loves gossiping and wants to be included in any of it.

So, you both just laugh it off while you share a look and go back to the others

About 4AM, the night ended for all of you. Chris was insanely wasted, and you were cursing under your breath because you two got here on Chris’s car and you also had drunk a fairly amount of alcohol and weren’t in the best state to drive yourselves home.

Jackson takes a few steps towards you and your best friend - who almost couldn’t stand on his own feet without swaying – it was quite obvious that Chris wasn’t okay to drive so he offered ‘Do you want me to call an Uber for you? I would drive you myself but I’m a little bit tipsy honestly’ and just when you were about to accept on his offer, another voice interrupts ‘I could drive you both home if you want to, I don’t mind at all and I’m okay to drive’, it was Jungkook that was watching the whole scene of drunk Chris holding himself to you from afar

You felt bad for dragging him along with you and Chris’s drunk ass so you said to him ‘I don’t wanna impose you, we could just call an Uber really’, whilst he came closer to you and helped you lifting Chris from yourself as if he weighted nothing and responded sweetly ‘I’m not taking a no for an answer, and you’re not imposing, I offered myself, come on let’s go’. So, you said your goodbyes from a far to all the other guys that were also getting ready to leave and thanked Jackson for inviting you one more time before finally following Jungkook and Chris over to JK’s car.

After the impossible task of getting Chris’s drunk ass in Jungkook’s car, you went into the passenger seat while you heard your best friend from the back mumbling nonsenses that only he could understand. Jungkook asked where to go and you told him your address, you couldn’t leave your best friend alone in that state so that’s where you headed to.

As soon as he started to drive, Jungkook asked ‘How long have you two met?’ hinting on the drunk man that was now singing - or at least he thought that he was doing that - Jason Derulo ‘Swalla’ while lying in the backseat.

‘Too long if you ask me’ you both start laughing and you continue ‘Mmh, it’s been like...15 years since we met. We went to the same high school but didn’t shared classes together because we were on different programs. One day when we were both at recess, there was this guy who was a senior that kept insisting on me dating him and I would always say no. Until that day it got up to the point that he pushed me against a locker’ - Jungkook’s eyes widened while he was letting you continue your story –‘And afterwards the idiot tried to kiss me even when I was pretty clear saying that I didn’t want anything to do with him. That’s when out of nowhere, Chris grabbed the guy and punched him right on the face and told him to fuck off and leave me alone’, you can’t help but smile remembering how your best friend stud up for you even when he didn’t even know you.

‘Wow, well done Chris! From the very first day you were already protecting y/n’ Jungkook said smiling while checking on your best friend through the rearview mirror

‘Yesssssss, I saved noona from that asshole’ you hear from the backseat

‘Noona?’ Jungkook widened eyes look over to you, ‘Wait, are you older than Chris, y/n?’

‘Yes… well only 3 months older than him, my birthday is in May and Chris’s birthday is in August’ - Now that you think of, he only calls you noona when he’s insanely drunk -

You start remembering how one morning you got up seeing that you had 10 voice messages from your best friend, you got so freaking scared for a moment thinking that something bad had happened.

That was until you started playing all the audios and it was clear that he was wasted while he was sending those audios, some of them you couldn’t even understand what language he was speaking, there was another one where he was singing ‘You’re my best friend! No, I didn't stutter till the day end. Through heaven and high water oooooohhhhhhh, it kills me not to tell you, you're my best friend’ and finally the one where he screamed ‘Noona I love you, you’re my bff’ and that was it.

Seeing JK’s still surprised look, you ask ‘What? You thought I was younger? I don’t know why people tend to think that Chris is older than me but no, we’re both 93 liners’

‘I actually did think you were younger; you certainly look like you’re. I didn’t think that you were my noona too’

That’s when your eyes almost pop out of you head and you say ‘Wait, are you telling me you’re younger than me too? I thought all of you in Jackson’s home were about the same age as us’

‘Yes, noona’ says Jungkook while wiggling his eyebrows to you. ‘I’m a 97 liner’, he laughs at your wide eyes

‘Oh my god you’re a baby’ – you can’t help to think that you were almost salivating because of this Adonis that you’re talking to and now that you learn he’s 4 years younger than you, it somehow feels weird.

You've never felt attraction for a guy younger than you, maybe is the prejudice... You used to notice how guys - not all of them but the majority, at least in your experience - would take more time to mature than girls, so you never dated anyone younger than you, not even someone of your same age. You always aimed for guys older than you.

Although, to be fair, last time you were single you were 19 years old so anyone at that point would be immature probably.

Maybe now that you’re almost 30 it wouldn’t be a bad thing to be open to date younger guys, you could find someone that's younger than you and still have a good time, right?

‘Don’t call me a baby, please’ you notice how Jungkook’s tone changed to a serious one

‘Sorry, I promise I won’t call you like that again’- you can't help snickering seeing how serious he got just because you called him a baby - ‘It’s just that you surprised me, maybe it’s because you’re all muscle and give such a masculine vibe that I thought that you were pretty much the same age as me’

– Oh for fucks sake, that freaking Soju made your tongue start to loosen up, you start panicking once you have finished the last sentence because you realize that you said everything you were thinking out loud, you shouldn’t drink when there’s a guy this hot near you –

You feel Jungkook’s burning gaze and as soon as you look at him you see him smirking at you. Then he opens that beautiful mouth he has and says ‘So…you think I’m pretty masculine, noona?’

‘Isn’t that what I just said?’ you mumble, not even knowing how to divert the conversation because you’re about to pee yourself, he’s so gorgeous you feel like you’ll start stuttering any time soon if he keeps looking at you with those doe eyes

Before he could open again his mouth and make you blush again, you see your building entry and you almost scream interrupting him ‘We’re here!!’

Fuck, why am I getting this nervous around him? I feel like a teenager. Jeez, you must keep it together y/n! - you think to yourself -  

He then stops the car, and you open the door getting out not even waiting a second because you were starting to panic in there. You feel like the Soju has taken all your filters down and you could say almost anything to Jungkook. You just met the guy, you can't start telling him how hot he looks with those cargo pants or how insanely good that sleeve of tatts looks on him…God, maybe it’s just that it’s been so long since you had sex, yes... yes, it must be that!! That explains why you’re just a horny mess.

Jungkook gets out of the car quickly after you and waves you off when he sees you trying to get Chris out of the car, who by the way, is totally passed out by now and once again Jungkook lifts him up like a bag of potatoes and lets you guide him towards your apartment.

The wait for the elevator almost felt eternal but once it arrived you pushed the 7th floor button while you feel JK’s burning gaze on you but neither of you said anything. Once you got to your floor, you quickly open your apartment door because poor JK has been putting up with Chris’s weight for a while.

You guide him through your living room and tell him to drop Chris on the sofa while you place a bucket right next to him in case he wants to throw up at any point. You feel relieved that you finished cleaning up your apartment earlier since you see JK already analyzing everything around the apartment while he says ‘Nice place’ then his doe eyes set on one special picture on your desk next to your laptop while you’re putting a pillow under Chris’s head ‘Who’s this in the picture? Your dad? You look so much like him’

You freeze for a second and respond shortly ‘Yes, that’s my dad’ while you come close to where he is standing watching the photograph, he says ‘You have a tight relationship with him, huh?’

‘Yeah, I did’ you say almost whispering with an unexpected sad tone. JK's eyes widen and realizes that you used the past to refer to your dad and starts cursing himself in his mind for his big mouth ‘I’m so so sorry y/n, I’m such an idiot If I kne- ‘

‘Hey’ - you interrupt and put a hand on his shoulder to make him understand that he didn’t do anything wrong, and you’re not upset at him at all - ‘There’s nothing to be sorry for, how would you know? Besides, it’s not like I can’t talk about it, it’s a sensitive topic for me… yes but it is what it is’ – he looks at you with a look that you got used to see on other people every time they found out that your dad passed away, it’s maybe pity? – ‘He passed away from bones cancer last year, such a fucking painful disease... you see how your loved ones are shutting down little by little while you can’t do anything to help them. We were really close to each other and we used to talk every single day. Even though I miss him like crazy, I know he’s not suffering anymore, and I held his hand until his very last breath. He was a great person but even more a greater dad and I’m proud to be able to say that I’m his daughter’ once you finish saying that you look down and take a deep breath because you know you’re about to cry – well, so long to not sharing your sad stories on the first day of meeting him

And then JK turns you to him and hugs you tightly while saying ‘The ones we love are always in our hearts’ then he grabs you by your cheeks and makes you look at him straight in his eyes while he cleans some of the tears in your face ‘I’m sure your dad is by your side all the time’

You nod at him, and you start to feel like an idiot crying in front of someone you met today, that’s not you – even Chris who was met you for 15 years only saw you crying two times, so you say ‘I’m sorry I’m such a cry baby, I always get really sensitive talking about my dad’

‘Now who’s the one apologizing for no reason noona, huh?’

You both share a look and start laughing while he’s still cupping your face. That’s when you both realize that you’re standing insanely close to each other’s faces, you clear your throat and JK’s hands leave your face. You swear you saw him blushing, but you don’t comment on that. In fact, you don’t say anything at all because you’re spacing out thinking how close you were from each other just moments ago.

You got back to earth once you listen to him saying ‘Um, so… do you need help with anything else? If not, I think I’ll head home, it’s been a long night’

‘It’s been a long night indeed’ you said smiling at him ‘but no, you already helped a lot, this moron is already sleeping so I’m just gonna have a nice long shower and head to bed’

You walk him to your door and meanwhile you’re debating in your mind whether you should ask him his cellphone or not. You feel like you’ll look desperate but since when do you care what people thinks about you? Ughhhhhh your mind is driving you crazy right now

So before saying your goodbyes, you settle on saying ‘Thanks for driving us here and for dragging Chris to the sofa, that was very sweet of you’

He smiles with that pair of lips that could knock someone over in a second and says ‘No worries, I’m glad that I helped. I had a great night being by your side. Sweet dreams, noona’ and he waves goodbye to you while heading to the elevator.

You feel like you’re about to melt thinking how sweet his voice sounds and before closing the door you hear him calling your name once again

‘Yeah?’ you manage to mumble

‘I was wondering if you could give me your cellphone number?’

‘Sure’ – and you can’t help feeling like a thousand butterflies were freed on your belly

Previous | Next

[marimayscarlett]

Hi! I absolutely love all of your detailed posts about Richard, they make my day when you post them, I was wondering if you could make a compilation of very wholesome moments with fans? I'm afraid that Rammstein will never come back to the US and I'll miss my chance of meeting him in person and I'd love to see some sweet fan interactions ❤️ Dankeschön ❤️❤️

Hi 🤍

Please excuse my late reply to this, but I love this ask! It's known that Richard can be very warmhearted towards fans and gives out bone-crushing hugs left and right - I found several accounts of fans who met him and will accumulate these in the following post 😊 (sources are linked at the end of the post.)

First some stories of fans who shared their experiences on the internet:

One fan met him before a concert, he gave the fan a hug and they say that to this day, they haven't forgotten the feeling of this hug.

Here's an account of a fan who met Richard at a resort in Mexico: "Richard never acted like we were imposing on his time or being a hindrance, even though he was with a table of friends. As soon as we were in eye contact range, his entire demeanor changed. He lit up like a Christmas tree and stood to shake our hands, stood close to us to chat for a few minutes - five minutes, tops, and gave us hugs as we left before shaking our hands again."

After a concert: "The hug I got was bone crushing. I was right in front of him. Cried my way through Frühling [...]. He checked on me and asked me if I was ok. Said i was fine and even the amount of times I'd seen them play, i got so caught up in the emotion. Richard told me they were the most moving moments for him at least and pulled me into a huge hug that if i think about it, i can still feel. Sounds weird but when you get a hug like that you dont forget it."

Richard seems to be a bit camera-shy while being out and about (declining selfies most of the time), but offers/asks for hugs himself as a return, as told by a fan who met him at the Chicago Airport. The fan apologized after asking for a selfie, yet Richard immediately asked her to give him a hug afterwards.

At a concert at the Palace of Auburn Hills in Detroit back, May 2012: "For some reason, I thought of making a sign that said "Pick für mich, bitte". We were right at the barricade and I decided to flash the sign. I don't even know what I expected out of it. Well, Richard fucking Kruspe went to his mic stand, got a pick, went to the security guard in front of the railing and told him to give me the pick. The guard and I had chatted prior to their performance, so he looked at me with a "way to go, kid" look. People around me cheered. Best concert memory ever. Nothing but a class act."

Another fan reports him being quite talkative and attentive during parties - apparently really listening to the other person and showing real interest. He really likes to talk about music and guitars and seemingly likes hearing the opinions of fans.

Meeting the band in front of their hotel: "His hug was the tightest, and he smells SO GOOD, I wanted to ask what was his perfume. I told him I loved Emigrate, he gave me the biggest smile and thanked me."

Then we have voice from withing the fandom on here - the lovely and helpful @anwiel13 said this about meeting him at a Meet&Greet (thank you again for sharing this! 🤍):

"Once he entered the room, we immediately know it. Not that he did something, but he really has this big personality, in very good way. He was smiling all the time, unless taking photos, than we was all his gothic deep stare self. He was also super nice to two girls, who were absolutely nervous, telling him how much they love him. We all know he hear this all the time, but he really looked like he is listening them and make them feel not like crazy fangirls annoying him with their feelings. If that's make sense. He hugged one girl when she asked him and again, did not looked like she's annoying him with this. He left very quickly after taking photos and signed our things. Overall, he was very nice and caring. I heard somebody complain about him being all snobby and annoyed during some M&G, but he was nothing like this during the one in Prague."

Plus I have found two 'essay'-posts on here describing fan-experiences at Meet&Greets and afterparties:

Here Richard is described as really warmhearted, smiling and patient with the fans:

A very wholesome interaction (with a cute Paulchard momet) with a fan who brought selfmade fan art with her:

And since of course I found some experiences with other band members on my research-way, here are my favourites of some of the other guys 😊:

At an afterparty: "I spent a long time talking to Flake who is beautifully underappreciated. He's such a wise man with an incredibly dark sense of humour. [...] Flakes English isn't great but he seemed to really appreciate that someone would talk to him in German and happy to help me figure out words I wasn't familiar with and vice versa. I really appreciated it as he did slow down his natural German speaking speed to help me continue a conversation in German as native speaking speed was just a little too fast."

At a meet and greet: "Schneider gave me such Dom-Daddy vibes that I would have got on my knees if he asked. He was so friendly, asked about myself and I was able to give him a letter from my best friend who had spoken to him years before, and he was so happy to take it."

At an afterparty of Till's solo tour (London concert): "I went to see Lindemann in London and was invited to the after party and ended up trying to open a bottle of wine with a set of keys with Till and then ended up drinking vodka and chatting to him for a few hours. Such a humble human and one of my biggest role models in life - he made me want to become a fire performer and he said I looked great doing what I do."

"Did a meet & greet on the 2019 tour and a bunch of the after parties. Doom is an incredible dancer and Paul and Richard give the best hugs." (I've read several times that Schneider seemingly kills it on the dance floor 👀)

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6

All in all, it's always amazing reading about fans having nice experiences with them - but let's not forget (since some people do exactly this), the band members are also just human beings like you and me, don't owe the fans smiles and good moods, and it's not a crime to have a bad day once in a while (with less enthusiastic interaction with fans) or just wanting some peace or being in a hurry, since they all do have private lives🤝🏼

[pomplalamoose]

Hey girl could please we get some hc’s for rebel pilot reader and luke friends to lovers??👀🫶

Hiiiii dear anon! This is such a sweet ask and I'm so here for this scenario🫶🏻

also serious probs for coming up with something Luke related I didn't already talk about lol

• assuming you've been with the rebellion for longer than Luke, he'd catch your attention as soon as he arrives

• and to say you'd be intrigued, would want to know more about the newcomer, is a mild understatement

• luckily you aren't the only one feeling this way by far; stories are told and rumors spread all over the place

• about his person, his origin, his looks, etc., every single one of them more absurd than the last

• and while none of them are mean spirited in any way, they definitely serve for a more than welcome distraction from the ongoing terrors and tensions

• (quite possibly this is the reason one or two or maybe more among the rebels have a good time making up some crazy things to stir the pot)

• the first time you're able to catch a few shreds of information is during meal time and of course you can't help but join in on the wild discussions, speculating about the what if's and whether what you've heard is true or not

• while pretty unsure about what to believe you have to admit that yes, these are crazy times, so why should it be too preposperous to encounter someone straight out of a cliché hero story?

• naturally you can't wait to finally see and meet him for yourself, and so you're immensely surprised when Princess Leia's savior turns out to be just some dude your age

• even more so, when after some precise assessments, he seems to be the very opposite of what the stories suggest him to be

• like, you're really supposed to believe THIS GUY escaped The Death Star after encountering The Darth Vader?

• absolutely wild

• of course your disbelief is nothing personal, you know better than to judge a book by it's cover; your time fighting alongside different species did certainly teach you as much

• after all Skywalker is here, willing to fight for the same cause you pledged your life to

• you heard about his great piloting skills as well and surely, in time, he'll have enough chances to prove himself

• plus he does seem nice enough

• it's just- he's so...

• you don't know what you expected

• but certainly not this puppy eyed, long lashed, gangly-limbs-everywhere guy with shiny locks to die for and a voice just slightly too loud

• when you overhear one of his conversations for the first time you are barely able to keep from snorting out a laugh as he animatedly compares the feat of destroying the Empire's biggest weapon to shooting animals on his backwater planet

• is he being serious?

• you're not sure what to make of his boisterous claim, nor where it stems from

• naivety?

• arrogance?

• it's possible the two of you had already exchanged a few words prior to this but now you decide on putting serious effort into speaking to him more often

• you want to get to know this guy, even if it's just for finding out that you're better off ignoring him

• maybe, for what it's worth, to put him into his place and to teach him a little lesson

• though soon you are very glad you gave him the benefit of the doubt

• as it turns out Luke, as you call him now, is very easy to approach and to get along with

• his smile as well as his enthusiasm are very contagious and much to your surprise you find yourself immensely enjoying his presence

• because of his open and curious nature you quickly discover shared interests, as well as likes and dislikes and benefit greatly from each others experiences and knowledge, especially when it comes to flying

• Luke is like sunshine personified and quickly you find it hard to imagine your daily life without him as his smile and warm presence always help to brighten your mood and ease your mind

• you didn't think so before but you actually really like listening to him talk, like to sit quietly by his side while he goes off on a rant or animatedly tells a story

• soon you view him in a whole different light than before, realizing that your first assessment was indeed, not quite right

• and as the awkward and inexperienced farm boy unfolds his depths right in front of you, you grow to admire his compassionate strengths greatly

• what starts off as lighthearted and easy comradery, evolves into a heartfelt friendship, fueled not only by the circumstances but a mutual understanding as well

• you make for a great team, able to trust each other blindly in training and during real skirmishes against the Empire's forces

• always he brings out the best in you and you seek to do the same

• it keeps both of you going, plays a major role as you work on improving your respective skills together

• may it be through friendly competition, sharing tips and tricks, hyping each other up after a particular good manoeuver, bragging about achievements or just helping the other with restoring their x-wing

• it's hard to pinpoint the exact time when the switch flipped, hard to figure out how all of a sudden feelings and the longing for something more evolved

• when did you stop seeing your best friend when you looked at him?

• when did he become so desirable?

• when did your innocent love for a friend turn into more?

• neither of you can tell, not even later, after rushed confessions in the hangar and first kisses after returning from an especially gruesome fight

• you tend to think about it a lot in hindsight, seek to remember that one moment of clarity while you lie awake at night, too giddy to fall asleep

• maybe your feelings were there from the very beginning with only your circumstances preventing you from realizing

• or maybe this was just the way things were supposed to develop, the only possible outcome after everything you've been through together

• in truth though, it's not that important

• being with Luke is simple in the best way possible, always was

• you're in love and it doesn't matter whether you fell slowly or all at once

• whether you quickly recognized the feeling for what it was or needed time to do so

• maybe the Force wanted you to take it slow, to really know the other, to experience them in every way possible, before sinking into their arms

[allelitewrites]

(This is my first story and I honestly don't even know if I'm doing this whole thing right but...)

A Subtle Warning

Word Count: 1630

Relationship: Hangman Page x Reader

----------------------------------------------------

Tonight was just like any other Wednesday night. My boyfriend and I arrived to the venue a few hours before doors opened for the weekly episode of Dynamite. I thankfully wasn't booked to do anything for the night. I was only thankful because a rest was very much needed. Adam however was in the middle of a pretty personal feud with Swerve Strickland. Their whole thing wasn't supposed to be personal at first. The initial intention for it to just be apart of the wrestling business. One person wanting another's position. However, things changed when Swerve had brought up that Hangman was walking away from his issues. Walking away from his issues like he had from the Elite and I some years ago. It was a low point that he typically didn't like to talk about and that night, Swerve really struck a nerve.

Hangman and I found our way into The Elite's locker room. The EVP's temporarily absent due to a creative meeting. We set our things down before taking a seat next to each other on the cheap couch. He and I leaned into each other. With the way his calloused fingers were tracing along my skin, I could tell he was nervous. "I hate signing contracts on TV." Adam mumbles as he lets out a large sigh.

I turn my head and plant a firm kiss on his large shoulder before leaning my head against him again. "Just go out there and do your thing." I reassure him as I twist at one of the bracelets resting on my wrist. I can feel him nod as his hand finally starts to decrease the amount of shapes it was drawing. "Try not to let him get to you."

"Well, Y/n, it's kind of hard when he's sitting right across the table from me with a disgusting smirk as he mocks me."

I didn't even have a response. I hate contract signings just as much as he does. They were a stupid excuse to get publicity and a chance to manipulate your opponent on a golden platter. To me, you shouldn't need a set up situation for you to get to your opponent. Everything you do should be in the ring. Without a table and without chairs. Contracts should be signed in the back. A response came to mind but I wasn't able to share it as Kenny, Matt, and Nick came back into the room, instantly complaining about how long and boring their meeting was. Adam sat up straight and let his large hand rest on my thigh. We weren't huge on PDA, especially not around our friends.

A few hours later...

For whatever reason Tony Khan decided to give Adam and Swerve the main event. All for a contract signing that would probably end up with tables flipping and chairs being thrown. I was sitting anxiously next to Matt as the Elite watched the segment go down. Renee Paquette table side to officiate the signing.

Strickland was chewing Adam up, not even giving the blonde headed man a chance to speak his own words. Eventually, he started to talk about how different he and Hangman were from each other. Almost as if he was offended by being compared to the cowboy. "What's a farmer to a mogul, huh?" Swerve asks, making Adam furrow his eyebrows. "What's a cowboy to an outlaw? What's a buckshot to a kill shot?"

I chewed at the inside of my cheek. I could see Adam's gears in his brain moving at a hundred miles per minute just through the television screen in the locker room. He was keeping his cool, never breaking eye contact with the man across the table from him.

Finally, Swerve put his microphone down. For the first time tonight, Adam was given the opportunity to speak his thoughts. But, he didn't start the way I expected him to. First, Adam calmly mentioned the things Swerve had said to him in the weeks prior. However, the thing that caught all of us off guard as Nick and Kenny settled in their spots around the room was that Hangman thanked Swerve. Adam thanked him for reigniting a flame in his body that was long burnt out. He explained how something was up with him. Something that a person really couldn't explain.

The crowd was so invested in every single word that either man let slip from their lips. Letting every single sentence set in, expanding their thoughts to multiple different things. Things that hadn't even realized they didn't really notice at first. A slight stir could be heard as Adam spoke of a dark cloud that he'd felt was hovering over him every single time that he showed up to work.

"And then sure... sure. The sun would shine. I beat Jon Moxley in a Texas Death Match." Adam proudly brags. I caught him taking a pause to look at Renee, who drew her lips into a line at the thought of the brutal match her husband had gone through with my boyfriend. "I reunited with my friends in the Elite. I was able to rekindle my relationship with the absolute love of my life. And it felt like I should've been the happiest man in the world. But every time I started to smile. That little black cloud came back and it started to rain."

I couldn't help but smile at the fact of him calling me the love of his life on national television. Something I could never get used to him calling me. In the good way of course. He continued to speak before addressing how the fans who supported him so dearly deserved to see more from him. And when he decided that he spoke enough of his mind to get his point across, he picked up the pen and signed his name on the dotted line.

An evil laugh was heard. A laugh that echoed through the building. Adam was caught off guard. Looking up to see Swerve looking like he was having the time of his life. Looking like he was having a good time. Looking like this whole thing was a simple joke to him. The crowd quickly canceled him out, a chant of 'Cowboy Shit' echoing through the seats of the arena.

"That was beautiful. But, quite frankly, that was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen." Swerve chuckles before insulting the crowd's home team. Earning an array of boos. He continued on to speak about how he was fueled to take Adam's position in the company before Hangman had heard enough. Tired of hearing how Swerve believed Adam was handed everything in his career which couldn't of been more untrue.

Hangman stood up, the anger coursing through his veins finally reaching a boiling point. "If you think you have what it takes to fill my boots... you don't."

Swerve matched his energy also standing up across from him. But he didn't speak a single word. Instead he froze to look Adam in the eye once more. And just when Adam thought it was over, Swerve rose his and and slapped the cowboy across the face. Adam turned around and leaned on the ropes behind him as Swerve picked up a microphone yet again. "Hey. Hey, hey Hangman. You seem to not think of me as a threat. You sure as hell better watch your back... or maybe you should tell your friends... actually, no. You want to make this personal? Fine, we'll make it personal. You better tell your hot girlfriend to watch her back."

Adam didn't even hesitate, raising the microphone he still had in his hand to his mouth.

"If you touch her... I'll kill you."

Swerve let out a long sigh. Finally he got the hint that Hangman wasn't joking. Threatening me... someone Adam cared about so dearly was the final nerve that Swerve could've hit. He leaned over and signed the contract.

In that split second, I saw Adam clench his fist and I knew he was going to swing. However, I didn't expect what he actually did.

Using the pen Adam formerly used to sign the match contract, he stabbed Swerve's hand. I watched as Strickland screamed in pain. He pleaded as my boyfriend refused to let go. I booked it out of the room. Rushing to get into the guerrilla position. I intended on meeting Adam there. After that... I had no plan, I was left with whatever my first option would end up being.

He forcefully pushed his way back through the curtain not seeing me at first. But when I walked up to him and put my hand on his bicep. He spun around and I could see relief wash across his face. He pulls me into his chest and holds the back of my head. I can feel his heavy breathing and I can hear his heart beat at the speed of a thousand race horses.

He pulls away to kiss the top of my head before firmly grabbing my hand. Not even whispering a single word. He rushes me through the hallways before pushing me into an empty room that he surely scouted out before the show. As soon as I shut the door he crashes his lips into mine, his hands grabbing greedily at my top. I wrap my arms around my neck before tilting my head back to get a good look at his face.

"What?" He asks.

I smile and push a golden curl out of his face. "I just wanted to make sure that I heard you right. Did you say you would kill him?"

A smirk crawls onto his face. His ocean blue eyes staring directly into mine. "With my own two bare hands, sweetheart."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for trying to let a girl down easy?

I (20m) met a woman who I'll call Ruby (23f) through my job. I met her soon after I started there but we worked in different departments. She seemed nice, if a little childish sometimes, but overall a nice friend. Her and two other people from her department, "Mary" (18f) and "Bella" (21?f) all started hanging out with me every break and lunch for the few minutes that overlapped. I thought it was fine, and nice to meet cool people who were happy to chill.

After 2 months of working there and seeing each other on lunch/break, I kind of got the idea that Ruby had a crush on me. I wasn't strongly attracted to her but I did like her as a friend, and I thought if something happened I'd be happy to give the potential relationship a chance. When Pride rolled around I talked about my plans to go because I was excited. Ruby said she had never been before and Mary started chanting "take her!" over and over. So I offered to take her and she accepted.

Well the day came and she told me first thing that crowds made her anxious and I offered my arm. It turned into handholding as we walked around town. She started talking about how she's never had a real partner before and basically assumed that because I had offered to take her and held her hand, that we were together. She also told me she had a crush on me since she saw me, 2 months prior, and that the group hung out with me at work because she wanted to be around me. It became clear she liked me a lot and for a long time, but I didn't know and I didn't feel the same way.

Here's the asshole part. Swept up in the rush of it all, I did kiss her twice and played along with the dating thing. But as I got to know her more, I liked her a lot less. She only liked to complain about her problems and couldn't have an adult conversation about anything other than how much her life sucks. I tried to back off slowly and say hey, I'm not in the place for a relationship right now. That's absolutely true, I am not in a spot where I could be a loving and attentive partner to anyone. But I said we could be friends, and I haven't lived up to that. She started texting me every day to ask if I had got home safe, and crowding me on my breaks and lunches at work, constantly wanting my attention to talk about her shitty days both over text and in person. I told her I needed space and I stopped texting her back as much. I don't want to be close to her because of how stifling she is.

A note: the time period between Pride and telling her I needed space was a week, though it felt like longer.

So, tumblr, AITA for backing out of this the way I have?

What are these acronyms?

[to-mah-to27]

I truly don't know if I have to will to make this into a full fic but I can keep continuing the plot

for those of you who did not see it, I'm talking about this post au where Shun is the main character and it is the story of the Jet Black Wing

Ok so season three comes to a head when Aren finally catches Saiki in the act, but Shun isn't there and he confronts Saiki. And Saiki says "You have no idea the complexities of this problem. Just a naive kid playing hero." and Aren tries to fight him but ends up getting hit over the head and his short-term memory erased.

THEN

The beginning of season four is a replay of that confrontation but from Kusuo's point of view. And we're like whaaaat because in all three seasons prior we have never been in Kusuo's point of view before.

In season one it seemed like it would only be from Shun's point of view because he is the main character. But then after the reveal, it makes more sense that we don't see through Saiki's point of view because we aren't meant to root for him after all. And then in season three the point of view regularly shifts between Shun and Aren, further emphasizing that Saiki isn't meant to be there.

So when season four starts in Kusuo's point of view it is a big deal. And it is the same fight but from his point of view and Aren confronts him, telling him the same things he's been listening to Shun say for the past three seasons ever since he got Black Beat in his arm and he had to start following him around to make sure that he couldn't interfere with his plans. "Why are you trying to destroy the world! There are so many innocent people who don't deserve to die! What could you possibly hope to achieve?" And Kusuo responds the same as he did in the finale that Aren doesn't understand and he's just naive and wants to play hero. But even as he says it he is thinking that it isn't true because really it's -Shun_ who he believes this about. And he's been saying in his head over and over and over as he justifies that he still has to do this.

Because the world is a terrible place full of selfish, greedy people who pretend to care on the outside but will take any chance they can to use people and then backstab them. And since humanity has so clearly failed they need to be eradicated and start over from scratch.

And in all the time he has spent with Shun, he has seen all the ways the hero breaks that perception by being kind and giving and genuine in his intentions to help, expecting nothing in return. So he has been telling himself that Shun doesn't count, that he's just some naive kid who doesn't get all the evil in the world, who doesn't understand it or see it and he's only acting the way he is because of a sense of pride at being a hero.

But since Aren joined, he's had a sense of inner turmoil about this that he's been trying desperately to ignore, because Aren has those same kind, honest intentions Shun does.

Aren, who was one of the power-hungry people he employed to help him destroy the world, only for them to realize in the end that they were going to be destroyed too. Aren, who is strong and perceptive and who readily knows about the ill intentions of many of the people they meet. He isn't naive. He isn't even trying to be a hero. He just wants to help Shun, whose forgiveness gave him a new chance at life.

Then he erased Aren seeing him use his powers to sabotage Shun and for the rest of season four every once in a while there will be an episode from Kusuo's perspective, showcasing his inner conflict about these two people disproving what he knows to be the dark truth about the world.

Shun can tell that his good friend and ally Saiki is struggling with something, and he tries to help and to get Saiki to open up about it. But Saiki has never been the talkative type, so he can't quite get it out of him. Not knowing of course, that it has to do with something Saiki would never tell him, that he is the very enemy they have spent so much time fighting. And Shun's words of faith in him from season two echo is Kusuo's mind.

Is there a way to destroy this world without destroying these two honest people? Does he have to make them hate him in order to do it? Will Shun's spirit break when he finds out the truth?

[trashlie]

GOD today's Love and Deepspace update has me ON MY KNEES i am alkfjalfjkalfkjakfkjafkafjka LISTEN I read Xavier's third anecdote BEFORE I HAD AN 11 A.M. MEETING I HAD TO STOP MY CRYING AND TRY TO MAKE MYSELF SOUND LIKE I TOTALLY HADN'T JUST SPENT 10 MINUTES CRYING not my finest hour but I never said I make wise choices LMAO ajkfjkafjkafkafjkkajf I'm going to put all my incoherent spoilery thoughts under the cut but god I just have to say that yes, it's confirmed, I think Xavier really is my favorite, in the "I love them all so much and I want to gobble up this story and I need all of the lore but I will go for him above all others" kind of way LMAO like alkfjakjfjaf Xavier and MC just hit all my catnip boxes okay?

You can't fight your true nature lol

As a loyal Kiro fan I knew I would lean Xavier but I really wanted to give myself the benefit of the doubt and pretend I might make a different choice for once lol

Spoilers for chapter 8, as well as Rafayel and Xavier's third anecdotes let's goooooooooooo (and once again touching on Xavier's myth)

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS I'M SO TENDER AND HEARTACHEY ;~;

Something I continue to love about LADS is that the LIs give MC so much agency. I firmly believe with certainty that Rafayel is not betraying MC; after all, they've already talked about needing bait for a big fish, so even IF there's a chance this part isn't planned, I believe he knows that she is capable of getting herself out of this situation, that she will handle what's being thrown at her. "Do you really think they can handle the prey I caught?" Rafayel, like Xavier, and I'm sure like Zayne, knows she's capable of handling herself, and I love this aspect so much! Babying MCs gets soooo boring.

In fact, the thing about Rafayel is despite the fact that she seems to have forgotten (in his eyes) about the promise they made, he has so much faith in her. That's half his problem, really; if he could let go, maybe he wouldn't be so hurt and hung up, but he just has so much faith in her, in her capabilities, in what she can pull off. Papergames' writing is so clever here, leaving us off in chapter 7 with that moment of hesitation, where it appears like he almost leaves at the bottom of the ocean (and probably strongly considers it!) prior to getting her to safety and then taking on the Wanderer, only to turn around and make it look like he's lured her into a trap - but he and MC have talked about this! This is what she wants! Even if he DOES have ulterior motives, I still don't believe this is an act of betrayal - MC is going to do whatever she can to enter the N109 Zone, better it be this way than another.

These are not games where we can just look at the surface and call it what it looks like. And MC is not so naive. Again, she knows what she has to do to get in, and she's partaking in it. And Rafayel knows she won't make it easy for anyone in there.

I'm sure if it were up to him or Xavier, she wouldn't be entering such a dangerous place, but it's not up to them. They aren't her handlers, so they trust her to take care of herself, and it's so refreshing to see.

I think, too, Rafayel is doing exactly what Xavier told MC to do. He, too, has a role to play in his quest for revenge, in his relationship with this organization. He can't show his weakness, he can't show his fears. He can only trust that MC knows what she's doing and that she will take care of herself and has a way out, that if things go south, she'll get out of there (and maybe try to find a way to help her if he can lol).

I think some people look at characters like Rafayel and Xavier and only see what's on the very surface: a needy, clingy, drama queen; and a stoic, calm man. But why do you think they have bounties on their heads like that? And such large ones, at that? $100,000,000 for Xavier!!!!!! Rafayel is as cunning and clever as he is sassy and dramatic, as ruthless and cold as he is sensitive and emotional (in fact, that is likely why he is so ruthless and cold, someone so sensitive is so hurt by what has happened to his people, to his family, to the hurt and betrayals he has experienced). They're so much more than what you see on the surface, so full of depth and nuance and GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. Like I said before, I don't love Rafayel in spite of the resentment, I love him for it.

And Xavier, my GOD ;______; This chapter was such a feast for the Xavier fans lol His third anecdote BROKE me, just absolutely devastated me. That must have been the very first "version" of MC, the first time they ever met, the first time he fell for her, and it's so easy to see why he did - how she just saw him for him, how she helped buy him those pockets of freedom, the curiosity she took in him that enabled to help him. His desperation to help her, but coming back too late ;_____; THE AGONYYYYYYYYYY THE DEVASTATION ;_____; Losing her for the first time, AS SHE DIED IN HIS ARMS HELLO?! The reassurance she'll meet him again in her next life, that no matter how many times it takes, no matter where she is, he'll find her ;__________;

The certainty that he's the same Xavier from the myths, because she is the one who gave him the star charm, the one MC of the myth is so jealous of LMAO that he has lost her before and here he is, having finally found her, and having to assist her in preparation for such a dangerous mission. And again, I just love the agency - that he doesn't talk her out of it. Instead, he prepares her. Gives her everything she needs to go best protect herself and go in with a fighting's chance.

Even though there's a chance he could lose her again, that unwavering faith. ;~;

Something I especially loved about this was the inclusion of Jeremiah, because as @poisonheart pointed out, Jeremiah is the one who has seen both MC and Xavier without the other, knows what they mean to each other, and the significance of now, of a reunion, even if she doesn't know it's a reunion. And not just for Xavier, but for himself! She was his friend, too! Xavier isn't the only one who lost her. I still don't know what happened to her, but he lost her, too. "Were you able to stay calm when you saw her for the first time?" Because he probably struggled to do so! He even slipped up, telling her he didn't think he'd ever get a chance to help her.

It's such a momentous moment and she doesn't even know because they have these memories of a version of herself she doesn't know, a version of herself she knows nothing of ;~; And it breaks my heart.

There's something so understated about Xavier's "stoicism" - everything he has to mask, the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years that he's spent quelling feelings. That he carries these memories and feelings that have never gone out, for someone who has had to get to know him all over again. Isn't that agonizing to think about? Meeting someone who you have an entire history with, so many memories of, but has no recollection, no knowledge of you? Meeting her again and waiting for feelings to blossom again - hoping they will because what if this is the time it doesn't happen what if this version of her never does - like WHAT IS THAT LIKE having to keep yourself at bay holding back your own feelings ;______;

MY AGONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

And more than that it's like.... Jeremiah even mentioned the non interference rule and it certainly seems like Xavier maybe attempted it but.... how do you maintain that, how do you NOT interfere, when the person you've been searching for is right there, when something so awful has happened to her, when so many eyes are on her, when she's in such danger?

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEEEEELIIIIIIINGGGSSSS ABOUT THEEEEEEMMMMMM ;________;

[uramilf]

The Record Shop - Chapter Three

A/N: Okay this is dramatic and stressful. soz guys - but guess what!! I proofread!!! Warnings: Brief mention of sex, alcohol consumption, swearing, depictions of toxic/controlling partners, mentions of cheating, Penny gets GASLIT

*Penny’s Pov*

I still couldn’t believe Matty had led me on like that. He really let me believe he was interested; I had half hoped he would be waiting for me to arrive at the party so he could drag me off and be alone with me like the first day we knew each other, but he hadn’t. Instead he was alone with some other girl. I didn’t quite know what to do. I lay in bed, head spinning from drinking so much the night before, Charli stirring next to me. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, squinting in its bright light. A message from an unknown number lit up the screen, and I sat up straight when I read the first line:

“Hi, Pen. This is Alex. I know it’s been a few months but I got your new number off your mum. I just wanted to see how you were doing down in Manchester, and I also want to say I’m sorry for everything that happened. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did, and not a day goes by when don't I wish I did things differently. Would we be able to meet for a chat? I understand if you don’t want to, but I miss you, Penny.”

What the fuck? What could he possibly want now? He broke my heart, and now he wanted to "meet for a chat"?! Not to mention the way he had been treating me prior to our breakup. Everything I said seemed to be a problem to him; I felt as though I couldn't do anything right. I wasn't sure I wanted to put myself back in that situation.

Charli was awake now, groaning about her headache. She stopped when she saw my face. “Pen? You ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost, but I’m guessing that’s the hangover.” “It’s not the hangover, Char. It’s my ex. He’s just messaged me and asked to meet up.” “Don’t do it!! Silly idea!” “Well, what if I want to? I just want to hear what he has to say to me.” “I mean, it’s up to you babe, but texting your ex always ends badly.” “I didn’t text him!” I exclaimed. “He texted me, okay?” “Sure. Whatever. Honestly I need a coffee before I can talk about this any further. Or maybe a gin and tonic.”

———————

My meeting with Alex had me a total nervous wreck. As I stepped into the cafe with shaking hands, I spotted him and old feelings came rushing back. His green eyes still shone the way they used to when he looked up and saw me. He brushed his fair hair out of his eyes and smiled at me, looking anxious. The way he was looking at me almost made me forget that this was the very same coffee shop I had been to with Matty, right before he had completely disregarded my feelings for him. “I’ve missed you, Penny,” Alex said softly. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry you saw what you did, and I’m sorry it happened. But I swear, Pen, she kissed me. Not the other way around.” I shook my head and smiled. “Look, Alex, I just want to move on from it, ok? Let’s not think about it any more.”

After agreeing to drop the entire subject, we had a genuinely decent chat, and I felt myself warming to him again. Maybe he was telling the truth; yes, I had seen another girl kissing him, but he pulled away before he even noticed I was standing there. Maybe he really didn’t want to, and I had made a big deal out of nothing. He was looking at me almost sadly now, head cocked.

“What’s up?” I asked. “You look sad.” “Penny, I never meant to hurt you. Every day I have to spend without you is like hell. I miss you so much, and I guess the reason I came down here is to ask if you could possibly give me another chance?” I was stunned. My mind flashed to Matty. We weren’t together, his actions the night of his party had showed me that. I missed Alex, truth be told. And yes, our relationship had its ups and downs, but didn't everybody's? He hadn't really done that much wrong. Well, apart from the few times he had gotten a little upset with me and maybe took it too far, but my mother told me I was making a drama out of nothing, and I guess she was right. “Okay,” I breathed. “Really?” “Yes. But we’re taking this slowly, okay?” “Of course, Penny. Of course.”

—————

*Matty’s POV*

Two days after my party and not a word from Penny. I had called and texted multiple times; still nothing. I figured she was upset by what she saw in the bathroom, but it wasn’t like we were even together, right? I wouldn’t get pissed off if I saw her with another guy, I was sure of it. That was only until Charli showed up at my door with comically large sunglasses trying to mask yet another hangover. “Jesus, what happened to you?” “I’ve been on a two day bender with Penny because you screwed her over and now she’s back with her ex, which is a decision she’s not entirely sure about. Thanks for that, mate.” Charli had propped her sunglasses on top of her head and was shooting me daggers from the doorway. "Huh? What did I do?" "You upset her, you fucking arsehole! She thought you liked her!" "I do! Fuck, I really do, Char. But she left me after we slept together and didn't talk to me for a really long time. She doesn't want me, so I figured I should just do whatever I want." "Doesn't want you? Oh, Matty, you idiot! Just call her, okay? Sort it out before that fuckwit can properly ask her out again. He cheated on her, Matty. He claims he didn't, but I just know he's lying."

Charli left and I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I settled on calling Penny one last time. I swore to myself that if she didn't answer I would just leave her alone. But she did. She picked up after the third ring with a sigh. "Hey, Matty." "Thank god, Penny. I thought trying to keep up with Charli's insane alcohol tolerance might have killed you." "I'm fine." Why was she being so short with me? It wasn't like I cheated on her, we weren't even together. Oh god, did she see it as me cheating on her? "Look Penny, babe, we need to talk. Come over tomorrow, ok?" "I don't think that's a good id-" "Just do it Pen, please darling?" Penny paused for a moment and sighed. Then she grumbled "Fine, see you tomorrow," and hung up the phone.

-------------------

*Penny's POV*

When I arrived at Matty's it appeared that he had been waiting on me for a while. I had barely knocked on the door once when it swung open and he pulled me into a hug. "There you are! I've missed you, darling," he said, his voice muffled by my hair. I pulled away and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You've missed me?" "Of course, babe, how could I not?" "Oh, well, it's just that I could barely contain myself for your party because of how badly I wanted to see you. You made a whole big deal about me being there, saying you couldn't wait to see me again, and yet you didn't even make an effort to fucking speak to me? And then you disappeared, and I found you with another girl's mouth round your fucking cock. I can't believe you." Matty looked at me in shock. "Pen, I'm sorry. I genuinely didn't think it was a big deal. I'm not your boyfriend, right?" "No, you aren't. But I really thought you liked me," I said in a small voice. I couldn't bring my eyes to meet his because I knew they wouldn't have the same glimmer they had the day I met him. "I do, Penny! I really fucking like you. Fuck, I've never met anyone like you. You're fucking beautiful, and you like to talk to me about guitars, and you love Jeff Buckley and... need I go on? My point is: I didn't think you were interested in me for anything other than a quick hookup. You left my flat so early that morning, I thought you wouldn't want to see me again." "Of course I wanted to see you, Matty. I didn't want to rush into anything. But that's clearly what's happened here."

Matty pulled me by the hand into his living area and sat me down. He knelt down in front of me like a sinner before God, between my knees, hands clutching mine tightly. "Can you give me another chance, Penny? We won't rush into it, Christ knows I'm not stable enough to be your boyfriend yet, but I need you, darling. I need you." Guilt washed over me. I had only just gotten things going with Alex again - I couldn't tell him it was over again before I'd even given him another chance. "I'm sorry, Matty," I whispered. "It's too late, okay? I guess we're just not meant for each other."

-----------------

I had wiped a tear or two off of Matty's cheek and hugged him tightly, promising we would stay friends, but told him it just wasn't our time. And then I headed back to my flat, where Alex was waiting for me. He wasn't my boyfriend again, not yet anyway, but he had been staying with me, sleeping on the sofa, and we'd been spending lots of time together. I'd started to notice him seeping back into my life like he had done before and it brought me a kind of familiar comfort. The way he blended his life with mine; his shoes and clothes in my house, pictures of him on my phone, his aftershave in my bathroom cabinet. Like someone who was back where they belonged.

But with everything that seemed right about Alex there was something a little bit off about him to go with it. With the sense of familiarity came the well-known sense of unease. He appeared to hide his phone from me a lot, and snapped at me to put it down when I went to take a picture of him with it. I figured he was just a bit protective of his stuff, didn't want me damaging anything. He also grew tense when I talked about Matty, or any of my male friends for that matter. Almost as soon as I arrived home from Matty's flat, I had received a call from George. Alex reached out and grabbed my phone, declining the call and setting the phone down near to him. "Oh, I should call him, actually," I said, my eyebrows lifting in surprise. "It can't have been that important," he replied shortly, going to kiss me. I dodged the kiss and tried to grab my phone. He didn't let me. "I haven't spoken to him in days, Alex. He's my friend, I want to check up on him." "Well, you can talk to him anytime. I haven't seen you in months. It's my turn to talk to you now, Pen. Not George's, whoever the fuck he actually is."

I didn't like it. The way he talked about George, who was one of the sweetest people I knew, as if he was holding me hostage instead of just calling me up to say hi. I didn't like the way he said it was "his turn" with me as if I was a toy that little kids were fighting over. I was staring to remember the real reason I didn't give him a second chance the first time he hurt me.

-----------------------

When Alex went out to the shop the next day, I took the opportunity to call George back. I lied and said I was busy the night before. We laughed and chatted for around ten minutes, and I felt the comfort and freedom I felt when I moved by myself flooding back in. I called Ross too, asking if he would book me in for my first tattoo later that week. He was ecstatic and said he couldn't wait to get to work on it, and that he had a few ideas for me already. Then I called Adam, as it had definitely been a while since we'd spoken. I told him about Alex, leaving out the part where I wasn't sure I was comfortable in the relationship, and he invited us to go out with him and Carly. "I'd love to meet this Alex guy, he sounds like he's making you pretty happy," Adam had said. I agreed and changed the subject quickly.

When Alex returned I told him all about Ross's plans to tattoo a few small butterflies on my lower back. He tensed up, so I asked what was wrong. "You seriously want to put that shit all over your body? You know once they're on, they don't come off." "Yeah, I know, but I've wanted it done for ages. And Ross is amazing, I just know it's gonna look great." Alex scoffed and I felt my smile fall. "Yeah, sure. Y'know what? I'm not sure I want this guy all over you - he'll probably make you take your top off and pretend he's just doing his job." "I won't need to take my top off, I can just roll it up a bit. Matty's gonna come too, maybe get another one on arm." "Fucking Matty. Don't let these guys influence your decisions, babe." "Fine, if you feel that strongly about it I won't get the tattoo." "Good. Your mum would hate it anyway, you know how she is with that shit. Listen, do we really need to go out with this Adam guy tomorrow? I can't be arsed." I couldn't believe him tonight. Only a few days ago we had agreed to take it slow, so why was he acting like he had total control over me? "Please, Alex. Adam's lovely, and so is his girlfriend. I love them, genuinely. It would mean a lot to me if you came and met them." "Okay, Penny. Just for you."

----------------------

We were getting ready to leave the bar after some reasonably awkward small talk. Carly had gone to the bathroom and Alex was paying for his tab, leaving me and Adam at the table. Thank god. "Sorry Ad, I guess Alex isn't great with new people." "Yeah, that or he just really fucking hates me. Are you sure you're okay, Penny?" "I'm fine, I just need a good night's sleep, I suppose. I'm gonna go to the loo as well before we go."

I met Carly in the bathroom. She looked pale and anxious, chewing on her lip. "Carls? What's wrong, honey?" "Oh, Penny, I'm so glad you came in here. I really didn't want to do this in front of everyone." "What? What's going on?" Carly looked like she wanted to burst into tears. "It's Alex, I'm sorry darling. He basically cornered me on the way in here and tried to chat me up. He said if I ever wanted to 'get away' from Adam that I could meet up with him and you would never know." "Oh my god, Carly. I'm so sorry." "No, I'm sorry, hun. He said... well... I called him a liar and said I would never do that to you or Adam, and he said he had cheated on you before and you hadn't found out." My heart dropped. "What the fuck?" Carly threw her arms around me. "He said you caught him kissing some girl and believed him when he said it wasn't his fault. I think he'd been seeing her for a while, Penny."

---------------

"You're a lying, cheating piece of shit, Alex! You swore you weren't seeing her!" I almost screamed at him the second we were through the door of my flat. "What the fuck? That Carly girl is a crazy bitch, I never made a move on her!" "Do you seriously think I'm gonna believe a psycho control freak like you instead of my own friend? Carly is an angel and I trust her with my fucking life. You're gonna pack up your shit and leave right now, you're going to lose my number and you're never going to fucking speak to me again!" I gave him exactly five minutes to get the hell out before I slammed the door on him and slid down the wall, bawling my eyes out. It had happened again. I let myself slip back into the old routine of thinking he could change, and got hurt again. There was only one person I knew I needed to see, and it was the person I had previously left crying alone in his flat because I thought Alex was better for me.

---------------------

I pounded on the door of Matty's flat, not crying anymore but still scrubbing furiously at my eyes with a tissue to remove any trace of my tears. He opened it, yawning sleepily, his pyjama trousers low on his hips revealing the waistband of his boxers and his stomach tattoo. He perked himself up when he saw me, mouth open slightly. It was the first time I had seen Matty Healy with nothing to say.

I threw myself into his arms and started to cry against his chest. I sort of switched off as he shut the door and walked me into the living room, holding me tight. I was crying on his lap on the sofa now, not quite sure how I had gotten there. He seemed to know exactly what had happened before I could even get a single word out. Perhaps Adam called ahead and warned him that I would potentially be in a bad way for a while. He stroked my hair, murmuring "Don't worry, baby. He just isn't worth it. He's not enough for my lovely pretty girl."

I wasn't sure if it was the stress of the situation getting to me, or the realisation that what I wanted had been right in front of me the whole time, but I lifted my head from Matty's chest and crashed my lips directly onto his.

-----------------

A/N: Oooooh cliffhanger! Soz for the sadness and stress

[babbling-idiot2]

(I have found the show Night Court and it was a mistake on my mothers part. You'll lover it she said. A guy from the original IT movie is in it she said. Yes Harry Anderson is in it. But my god, Dan Fielding is so fine. I would use different a word but I'm trying to be calm. I will continue to write for this man. So please, Request for him. I beg of you! Enjoy!!)

Harry T. Stone, best friend, and court judge. He had been your best friend since you could remember. He was always there for you, and of course, you were always there for him. It was surprising to hear that he had finally gotten the job at Manhattan Criminal Court. You were very happy for him and even went out of your way to go and see him on his first day. Harry knew the chance of you making it slim. You lived so far away, and you even had a job of your own. He had no idea you were in the building and was in for a surprise, but little did you know, so we're you.

When you arrived in the court house, you asked for directions. When you were told the 8th floor, you were immediately on your way. After finding his office, you walked in and waited. Luckily, he wasn't there to greet you. It was a perfect time to surprise him.

Thankfully, you didn't have to wait long. Harry walked in, looking down at some mail in his hands. You were on his couch and silently watching him. He walked to his desk and around it. His hand grabbed the chair, and right before he could sit down, you spoke up.

"How's your first day on the job, Judge Stone?"

He lets out a short yelp and looks over at you. His eyes are wide, and a huge smile spreads over his face.

"Y/n? What in the world. I thought you were working?"

He says as he starts to round his desk towards you. When he gets to you, he pulls you into a bone crushing hug.

"What and miss my best friends' first day as a judge? Not in a million years."

You say as you hug back.

"So, tell me everything. I'm dying to hear all about your day."

He smiles wide and goes to start talking but stops when the door to his office opens. In walks two men and two women. One of the men and both of the women seems to immediately want to leave to give some privacy. But the other man is in a very nice suit, is looking at you. Pratically undressing you with his eyes.

"Hey, come on in. I'd like you to meet my best friend y/n. Y/n, meet Bull one of our baillifs. Lana, our court clerk. Liz, our public defender. And that is Dan, our public defender."

You smile at everyone. Nodding your head their way. Dan smiles as well and walks forward.

"Dan Fielding. It's nice to meet you. It's so rare that we get to meet new people here who don't have priors. Especially one as attractive as you."

Smiling, you look over to Harry before turning back to Dan.

"I'm flattered. It's nice to meet you, Dan."

His smile never falters.

"Would like to get drinks later tonight? I would be happy to take you on the town, show you things you haven't seen before."

"Lovely offer. I'd like to get drinks, but I grew up in this city, I've seen it all."

He shrugs his shoulder and reaches for your hand. He grasps it and leans forward, kissing the top of it.

"You may have grown up here, but there is one place you haven't seen before."

Raising your eye brow in question.

"Oh, and where would that be?"

Smirking, he steps closer.

"My bed."

Oh, so clever and cheesy at the same time. You smile in shock but also the fact that, besides the simple fact that he is very forward, he's so attractive. You might just let this take you wherever it may lead, even if it is to his bed. Harry steps forward and looks at Dan. Sending a warning glare his way.

"Dan, Y/n is not here to be harassed by you."

Dan throws his hands down to his sides, and his smiles drop slightly.

"He is correct. I'm not here to get asked out by any means. I'm here to see Harry work his magic in the courtroom. But that doesn't mean I don't accept the offer still. What time did you have in mind, Dan?"

Dan's head perks up, and he smiles yet again.

"When we are done here. I'm not sure what time that will be, but if you hang around, I'll definitely still be here."

Nodding your head, you turn back to Harry. Linking your arm with his, you point to the door.

"I think i am feeling a bit peckish. Lead the way, Judge Stone!"

Harry smiles and starts to walk towards the door, all the while sending Dan an angry look.

After you both have left and the others are still standing there. Dan sighs and sits on the couch.

"My god, did you see that?"

The others look at each other for a moment until Lana speaks up.

"You mean the way you oggled the poor thing? Yeah, we saw. You got to get ahold of yourself."

He shakes his head against the couch arm.

"If there's a god, he's taken pity on me."

He says as he looks up at the ceiling. After a few seconds, go by he mouths a silent 'Thank you.'

[itsjustafia]

If Ever I Was Running, It Was Towards You

Summary: Dick and Kory get a chance to talk when they find themselves back at Elko's.

Word Count: 4.9k

A/N: Felt like writing some dickkory angst + fluff. Takes place post 4x06. Also this is canon divergent. The Titans don't get blipped away after the fight in the temple...and Jinx lives (but that's not important).

Tags: @escapism-through-imagination @ambelle @meetmeunderthestarrynight @ambeauty @d-grayson58

This has been the longest day of his life. Prior to today, he would have said it was the day his parents died. The three minutes it took for the ambulance to arrive to the scene felt like hours had passed by alone. And everything else that happened after that felt like time was just standing still, prolonging the hurt he felt in his heart. Despite all of that, today is still the longest day of Dick’s life.

What started out as a small field trip to the asylum quickly turned into a brawl with zombies, Conner getting cursed, Gar risking his life by transforming into a virus, Rachel getting her powers back, and Kory being upset with him. To top it all off, the blood ritual was successful and now Sebastian is ready to bring on the end of the world.

But they all escaped the temple alive, thankfully. With Rachel’s powers back, she was able to heal Jinx and save her life. And Conner was only knocked out by a light spell as opposed to a curse this time. The both of them are currently recuperating in the med may. Dick uses that small positive as fuel to keep going. Because even with everything that’s already happened today, their true fight is only really beginning right now. And losing isn’t an option.

As Dick makes his way to the conference room he texts the rest of the team, telling them to meet him there. They need a plan and fast. There’s no telling what Mother Mayhem has in store next and he really doesn’t want to find out. But even with this threatening force looming over the world, his mind still drifts to Kory and the conversation (or disagreement) they had earlier.

He can still picture the disappointed look on her face right before she walked away from him. His chest feels tight just thinking about it. Hurting Kory’s feelings was never, and will never be, his intention. If he had known she was going to bring up the vision of the little girl he would’ve handled the situation with more tact. But alas, he ended up with his foot in his mouth instead. When things get better and they can all finally catch their breath, making things right with Kory will be his first priority.

Right now, though, Dick has a planet to save. When he enters the conference room, he can see that his family looks exactly how he feels – exhausted and a little defeated. Rachel and Gar are quietly sitting in a corner together, trying to get a bit of rest. While Tim and Bernard are at the opposite end of the room looking at something on an iPad. Everyone is accounted for except for Kory. The lack of her presence instantly fills Dick with worry. He knows they aren’t really on speaking terms right now but she wouldn’t ignore his text and skip a briefing. Especially with the situation they’re in. And he also doesn’t remember Kory having any injuries from their fight in the temple that she’d need to take care of first. So, where could she be?

“Any of you seen Kory?” Dick asks, looking at his teammates.

“We thought she was with you,” Gar answers.

Clearly, they don’t know why that’d be unlikely right now.

“No. Last time I saw her was when we got back. I sent the text in the group chat, so she should’ve gotten it like the rest of you.”

“I’ll check the cams to see if she’s on her way,” Bernard offers.

“You could always call her. Maybe she just didn’t get it,” Rachel suggests.

That option did cross his mind already. He’d like to make the call. It’s just that if he did, there’s a high probability of Kory ignoring it which wouldn’t solve their current dilemma.

“Can you do it?”

Rachel observes him then. And Dick can tell that she’s using her newly restored empath powers to try and read him. “Hey, did something happen?”

He’s spared an awkward explanation when Tim speaks up. “Hey, Rach? Did Kory park her car in the garage when you guys got back earlier?”

“Yea, she parked right next to the Porsche,” Rachel responds.

“Well, it’s gone.”

Dick’s legs immediately start moving, and he makes his way over to where Tim and Bernard are looking at the cams in about 4 brisk strides. Looking at the screen he confirms that Kory’s Oldsmobile is in fact missing from its parking spot.

“Her phone went straight to voicemail when I called. She turned it off,” Gar adds.

The hairs on the back of Dick’s neck instantly shoot up, and the headache that’s been assaulting his skull for the past hour only gets more intense. Where could she have gone? Why did she leave in the first place? Dick knows all too well about going off alone and taking matters into his own hands. It has never yielded good results. He hopes this isn’t what that is. He knows Kory’s been worried about this prophecy with the number of times she’s brought it up to him. And he knows he’s been difficult about listening. It’s just that he’s scared of what it all means. What he’ll lose if it comes true…

Dick pushes his spiraling train of thought to the back of his mind and pulls out his phone. He runs Kory’s license plate number into one of Bruce’s tracking software he has installed. Not even 10 seconds later and he’s found her.

“Looks like she’s heading midtown,” Dick announces, his voice laced with confusion.

Rachel quickly stands up from her seat then. “I think I know where she’s going.”

“Where?” Gar asks, standing up too.

“Elko’s.”

“Why would she go back there?” Dick asks.

“Before we were attacked by Mother Mayhem, Kory spoke to her mentor. A woman from Tamaran named Zadira. She wanted Kory to kill Sebastian. But Kory refused, obviously. She’s probably going back there to talk to her again.”

“So, is Kory safe with this woman? Should we be worried?” Because that’s all that matters to him.

“Well…yes and no…she did try to kill me but--” And that’s all Dick needs to hear before he’s bolting towards the door.

“Dick wait! What about us?” Tim asks.

"You’re staying here.”

"But if this woman’s dangerous, you’ll need backup, right?”

Dick understands how badly Tim wants to be a part of the action, to feel useful. But this simply isn’t the time.

“Dick will be fine on his own. Zadira is annoying as hell, but I don’t think she’s really an enemy. Especially if Kory is trusting her,” Rachel interjects. She can sense that Dick needs this time alone.

“We’ll hold down the fort while you’re gone,” Gar adds, an assuring smile on his face.

Dick nods to the both of them, a silent thank you for understanding. He directs his attention back to Tim. “I won’t be long. Once Kory and I are back we’ll figure things out. Get some rest in the meantime.”

And then he’s out the door.

*☆*☆*

As she drives down the empty streets of Metropolis, she can’t help but glance up at the moon at every stop sign and stop light. The crimson sphere reminding her of how she messed up. How she missed her opportunity to stop all of this. Now guilt and fear gnaw at her conscience as she heads to the only place she can think of to get help.

Kory wonders how everything went so wrong so fast. Just a few days ago she was expressing how free she felt. How the burden she’d been carrying her entire life was finally lifted and she was looking forward to finally experiencing life her own way. But now she’s right back where she started. Bounded by destiny. All she wanted was a chance at freedom. Was that really too much to ask?

Even though she still feels hurt from their prior interaction, Kory wishes Dick were sitting beside her right now. Ever since Gotham, they’d become really good at confiding in and leaning on each other during these uncertain times. If he were here, he’d probably tell her that everything would be okay and they’d get through this. And she’d probably try to lighten the mood with a witty remark. The both of them feeling calmer afterwards. She yearns for that feeling at this moment.

But after what happened earlier, a part of her questions if they’ve actually made any progress when it comes to communicating at all. Sure, they could confide in each other when it came to their feelings about smaller issues. But what about the heavy, emotional stuff? Dick withheld such a huge secret from her. Something that pertains to the both of them and their futures. He said he didn’t know why he didn’t tell her, yet she could barely keep up with the ever-changing emotions on his face before he settled on that answer. He was once again holding back and she hated it.

Kory pushes all thoughts of the matter to the backburner when she turns into the parking lot at Elko’s. It’s closed this time around. All signs of life gone and everything dark, save for the establishment’s large illuminated logo.

She decides to use the back entrance for a more discreet break in. Thankfully, there’s only one security camera that’s facing the alley way rather than the door directly. And with the large hood of her cloak, she’ll be unidentifiable. When she reaches the door, she channels her blue energy to the fingertips of her right hand and places it on the security alarm. It deactivates immediately and she quietly makes her way to her destination.

The jukebox remains in its usual spot, only this time it’s turned off. Kory ignites her finger tips a second time, forming a pseudo flashlight to locate the plug. Once plugged back in, the box shines its usual array of colors. She says a quick small prayer to X’hal and then punches in her birth year, hoping that the one person she came to see will actually be here.

After a moment, she lowers her hood and turns to see Zadira sitting at the bar, pouring some sugar into her cup of coffee. Kory takes a deep breath readying herself for what she expects to be a long, and somewhat annoying, conversation.

“Zadira.”

“Koriand’r.”

“I’m going to assume you know what’s happened, so if we could skip to the part where you tell me how to fix this, it’d be much appreciated.”

“Is this how they apologize here on Earth?”

Yep, this was going to be annoying. But if she has to suck up for a little while to get what she wants then so be it. Luckily, having grown up as a royal and dealing with the politics of it all, she was used to playing this game.

Kory slowly approaches her mentor, a bit of reluctance in every step. Once she’s standing right in front of her, she places her right hand over her heart and bows her head.

“I apologize, Zadira. You were right about Sebastian and I was wrong to call you a liar. Please forgive me,” she offers in the sincerest voice.

Zadira sips her coffee and dramatically takes a moment to savor its warmth and taste; and it takes everything in Kory not to sigh and roll her eyes. Her mentor finally turns and stands, mimicking Kory’s stance.

“Apology accepted.”

“Thank you. Now, I really do need your help. My powers… how can I get strong enough to--”

“At this moment, I cannot help you.”

Kory stands up straight, her perfectly arched brows furrowing. “What? Why?”

“Your heart is troubled,” Zadira states matter-of-factly, also returning to a neutral stance.

“Well, the guy that I was trying to protect gave into his dark side thanks to his evil mother, and now the end of the world is pretty much imminent. So, yea, I’m not in the best mood,” Kory says, her patience already starting to wear.

“No, it’s not that. It’s something else. Or, rather, someone else.”

Kory’s face remains stern, avoiding giving Zadira any confirmation to her words. She had done enough meddling in Kory’s love life for one day, and engaging in another conversation about it was definitely out of the question.

“Remember your training, Koriand’r. Entering into battle with a clouded mind guarantees defeat,” Zadira continues.

“Are you going to help me or not?”

“I will… once you’ve resolved your issue.”

“I don’t have an issue!” Kory exclaims, her nice-guy act finally crumbling.

“Koriand’r, you cannot lie to me. I know you too well.”

“Look even if I had something to resolve, which I don’t, that’s not possible right now so--”

“Are you sure?”

Zadira turns her attention to the jukebox at the back of the room. Kory gives her mentor a quizzical look. But suddenly, a bright light shines from behind her and she looks back to see her “issue” manifested before her.

“Dick?” she asks incredulously.

“Kory. Are you ok?”

For a second, Kory wonders if she's dreaming. But then she quickly remembers the day she’s had so far; which has included encountering zombies, being ambushed by a literal witch, and seeing her daughter who has yet to be born. So, Dick’s presence here now really isn’t astonishing.

“How did you find me?”

“Well, Rachel said you might be here. And GPS confirmed that. Then some numbers on that jukebox started glowing, I pressed them and now I’m here,” Dick explains as he looks around, taking in the space.

She makes a mental note to have a talk with Rachel about the importance of confidentiality after this is all over with.

“Well, you can go. This has nothing to do with you.”

“Kory, we’re a team. Of course this concerns me. Plus, you almost got killed the last time you were here. So, whatever this is. Whatever you came here for, please let me help you.”

“The song said this was my fight. And I let Sebastian get away so I have to fix it.”

She knows she made the right decision not to kill Sebastian, and she’d make it again if given the chance. But she still couldn’t keep him safe. They were all counting on her and she failed. That’s what was eating her up.

“Kory, that wasn’t your fault.”

“I don’t expect you to understand, Dick. After all, prophecies aren’t your thing.”

Kory turns her attention back to Zadira, ignoring the slightly hurt look on Dick’s face.

“Look we don’t have a lot of time. The ritual is complete and we don’t know what that woman’s next move is. So please, tell me how I can stop the end of the world,” she pleads.

Her mentor simply places her hands behind her back. Which, through the decades of knowing and training with her, Kory knows to mean she’s not budging.

Kory lets out a frustrated sigh. Her tolerance level has finally reached zero.

“I’m so tired of people withholding things from me. I’m done! When you’re ready to stop this game of yours, let me know. Until then I’ll be in the kitchen.”

With that, she storms off leaving Dick and Zadira in the dining area together. Silence fills the room and Dick merely scratches the back of his neck, trying to figure out what to make of his current situation.

“A stubborn one, isn’t she? Likely one of the reasons you fancy her?”

Dick quickly looks up at her, taken aback by her words. He opens his mouth to respond but the Tamaranean interjects before he can.

“I will be back when you’ve made your peace,” Zadira says.

She swipes her hand in a circular motion, disappearing in a cloud of fire. And then he’s alone. He can hear Kory slamming cupboard doors, and moving dishes and cutlery around in the kitchen.

Dick drags his hand over his face, once again feeling the stress of the day. But he is grateful for a chance to fix things with Kory, one he otherwise wouldn’t have gotten so soon if they weren’t here now. Coincidentally, on the drive to the diner, he thought about some things he’d like to say to her when he had a moment to apologize. He takes a deep breath before he begins, hoping he says the right thing this time.

“Look, Kory I’m sorry about how I've been acting today. And for what I said about visions and destiny. I know how much that stuff means to you and how strongly you believe in them. So, I’m sorry for making you feel like what you believe in doesn’t matter. Because it does. Especially to me.”

The commotion coming from the kitchen lessens. She’s listening. So, he presses on.

“And I’m also sorry for not telling you about my own vision. It was a lot to take in at the time, along with the other stuff I saw in the pit. Plus, we were still trying to defeat Crane and save Gotham. The timing just wasn’t right…”

This time, Dick is met with complete silence. He’s about to call out for Kory but she emerges from the kitchen seconds later, a bowl of ice cream in hand. Leaning against the doorway, she takes a moment to look at him. And he watches her as she searches his eyes. He hopes that she sees sincerity in them, because he meant every word he said.

“If the time was right, would you have told me?” There’s no hostility in Kory’s voice. Just genuine curiosity. Despite being upset, she still wants to understand him. Something she’s always trying to do. He appreciates that about her. But he already knows the answer he has for her isn’t the right one.

“I know this is probably not what you want to hear…but, I don’t know. I’d like to think that I would have… but I really don’t know.”

There’s a flash of sadness on Kory’s face, but it quickly turns to mild irritation.

“You can just say it, you know.”

“Say what?” Dick asks, confused at her statement.

“That it didn’t mean anything to you. The vision, I mean. I’m a big girl, Dick. I can handle the truth.”

Dick instantly feels like the biggest idiot. He was already feeling that way, but even more so now that everything in his mind is clicking. This was never just about not telling Kory about his vision. Rather, what not telling her actually meant.

“Kory, that’s not what I’m saying--”

“You’re not really saying anything, Dick! You’ve been telling me that what I believe in matters to you. That it’s important. But what do you believe?”

He swallows hard and once again runs a hand over his face. She’s asking him to be vulnerable right now. To let her in. And Dick wants nothing more than to do that for her. But for some reason he’s second-guessing himself. He knows Kory won’t judge him. She never has. So why is this so hard for him?

Dick is startled out of his thoughts when Kory brushes past him. Her bowl of ice cream now partially melted and abandoned on the counter. He watches as she makes her way to the jukebox and starts pressing one of the buttons.

“What are you doing?”

Kory looks back him briefly. “Heading back to Star Labs. I’m wasting time here.”

He can’t help feel like a dagger’s been lodged in his heart. Is this him losing her before he even had her?

Dick remembers watching Bruce and Selina fall in love. And he also recalls their fallout. How Bruce never fully let her into his world. It hurt Selina deeply. The day she left Wayne Manor for good, Dick saw how heartbroken she looked, but also how confident she was in the decision to move on with her life. The one that got away.

And now as he looks at Kory, this moment feels all too similar. He’s already learned that being like his adoptive father has led him to dark places he never wants to go again. He is the son of John Grayson. A man whom Dick remembers in their short time together as thoughtful, caring and open. That’s who he wants to be too. Especially for Kory.

“Do you remember when we first met?”

Kory immediately stops fussing with the jukebox. Dick is thankful that he’s got her attention again. But she remains silent.

“It was in front of a jukebox similar to that one. I told you I needed to talk to you and you told me to take a number,” he says, a hint of laughter in his voice as he recalls the moment.

Kory can’t stop the corners of her lips from turning upward. That day feels so long ago to her, and yet like it just happened yesterday. They’ve both been through so much since then.

“That was the day my life changed,” Dick continues.

Kory finally turns around, her planned exit forgotten.

“Until that day, I thought I’d spend the rest of my life alone. And I was okay with that. Welcomed it, even. But then I met you and you made me realize that no one manages alone...Look, I wish I could say that destiny or some other force brought us together that day. Wish I could believe in the concept as wholeheartedly as you do. But the truth is I can’t. Because if I choose to believe in destiny in that instance, then I have to believe it in others.”

Kory’s head tilts to the side as she folds her arms over chest. She takes a step towards him.

“Dick, I’m not following…”

“My parents, Garth, Jericho, Donna…Kory, if destiny is real then that means I was meant to lose them all. I was meant to experience that grief and heartache to end up where I am today. I can’t accept that. And I like where I am, don’t get me wrong. Being with you and the kids, helping people. I wouldn’t change that for anything. It’s just…I don’t know…I just think our choices are what really brought us together.”

Kory is quiet again. Dick watches her and he can see the gears turning in her mind. She’s going over his words and trying to make sense of them. He knows he’s not great at expressing himself, but he hopes she can at least understand where he’s coming from.

After some silence that feels like eternity, Kory finally looks up at him and speaks.

“I get it,” she says.

“You do?” Dick asks, somewhat shocked.

“Yes. The pain you’ve experienced, you didn’t deserve that. Especially at such a young age. And it does make sense why you’d shy away from the idea of destiny because of it. So, yea, I get it…But Dick, that still doesn’t answer everything. And I know it must feel like I’m pestering you. I’m sorry for that. But I just need to know for my own peace of mind…The little girl. We both saw her. That has to mean something, right?”

And this is it. His final chance to make things right. Dick knows his answer here will determine how his relationship with Kory moves forward.

He takes a moment to think about the situation they’re in. Not the one pertaining to just the two of them, but the entire earth. He has no idea how it’ll all end. No one does, not even Rachel. But if the world fell to darkness tonight, he’d want Kory to know how he feels. How much he cares for her. Loves her. She deserves to know.

Dick walks towards Kory until they’re standing mere inches apart, and links her left hand with his right one.

“That little girl…she saved my life. When she showed up and handed me that balloon, I instantly knew that I had to keep fighting and make it out of that pit. I had to live. But seeing her didn’t make me realize I wanted a future with you--”

He hates the pained expression that emerges on Kory’s face. Even with only their hands linked, he sees and feels her entire body tense at his words and she starts to pull away. Dick quickly moves both his hands so that they’re grasping her elbows, grounding her in place.

“Let me finish. Please?” he pleads softly.

She initially hesitates, but then relents. Dick takes another deep breath before continuing.

“She didn’t make me realize I wanted a future with you because I already knew I did. Kory, I’ve loved you for a long time now. Way before my vision. And part of me has tried to push those feelings away and forget them. Partially because I don’t think I deserve you and also because I’m scared of messing what we already have up. But like I said before, you taught me that everybody in life needs someone. And for me that someone is you. I may not believe in destiny, but I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for you. And I can’t lie, that scares me. Because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. But not having you in my life, not being with you…that’s even scarier. I want to be with you in all the ways that I’ve been dreaming of.”

Kory doesn’t realize she’s crying until she feels Dick’s left hand on her cheek wiping her tears away. She can’t remember the last time she was at a loss for words, but she’s definitely speechless right now. She opens and closes her mouth multiple times but she simply can’t find the words to respond to Dick’s declaration.

All she can manage is launching herself into his arms, wrapping her own arounds his neck tightly. He stumbles back a bit but quickly braces himself, reciprocating the hug with just as much intensity. Their two bodies fitting together like pieces of a puzzle.

Kory’s been waiting for this moment for so long. For the both of them to finally let their guards down and trust each other with their hearts. She knew that for a while they weren’t ready. That they both needed time to grow and deal with their messy pasts. But they’ve overcome that now. Things aren’t perfect, but they’ve both reached a place where they’re ready to offer and accept love. And it feels so good to finally be here.

After a minute or two, Kory finally pulls away far enough so she can look at Dick. She lowers her hands to his chest, fresh tears forming at the corner of her eyes.

“I love you too. All of you. Even the parts that drive me crazy. And you do deserve me,” she says pointing at his chest. “We both deserve each other and a future filled with happiness. I know that most people dream of having my former life. Being a royal, living in a castle, and being waited on hand and foot. But all I’ve ever dreamed of is being free. And that’s what I feel when I’m with you. Freedom.”

It’s Dick’s turn to get misty eyed. Kory’s words providing him with a joy he’s never felt before.

He reaches up to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear; and gently glides his hand towards her cheek, caressing it. This is another moment in Dick’s life where time feels like it’s standing still. But for a good reason this time. The both of them gaze into each other's eyes, as if trying to convey all the love and adoration they have each other.

But Dick gives in first. He leans forward, closing the gap between them. Her lips are soft and sweet, hints of vanilla from her frozen dessert remaining. Warmth fills his chest as they draw each other closer, tightly pressing their bodies together. And they remain like that, trading tender kisses until they start to feel light-headed.

After they pull a part, they linger in the peaceful atmosphere as Kory lays her head on Dick’s shoulder. And he proceeds to gently rub circles into her back. That calmness she had been yearning for earlier filling her soul in abundance now.

“Didn’t think I’d be experiencing all of this today in a metaphysical diner,” Dick jokes.

Kory giggles into the crook of his neck. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I needed to get that all off my chest. I wanted you to know.”

“Me too.”

Not long after, their bubble of tranquility bursts when a familiar cloud of fire reappears. Kory turns her head to see Zadira with a triumphant smile on her face. If she wasn’t so happy, she’d be annoyed at her presence. But truly, nothing can ruin this moment for her.

“Issue resolved?” Zadira asks, clearly already knowing the answer.

Kory looks back at Dick again, giving him one of her bright signature smiles. He reciprocates with a soft grin. And all she wants to do is kiss him again. But alas, she knows it’s time to face this unprecedented reality. Even so, she’s more confident than ever because she has him by her side. And they’ll figure it out together.

“Issue resolved,” she answers.

“Then we have a world to save.”