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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 6 months ago

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Is It Really That Bad?

Women leading superhero films has a long and troubled history even before losers online decided to make it their life’s mission to bully Academy Award-winning actress Brie Larson for the crime of being in a mediocre MCU movie. 2004’s Catwoman is the film that is usually pointed to as the movie that poisoned the well in regards to superheroine blockbusters, but it takes two to tango; the following year’s Elektra is just as much to blame for the negative perception of these sorts of films.

And how could it not be? It was rushed into production, Jennifer Garner really didn’t want to do it but was contractually obligated, it was supposed to be rated R until more contractual obligations nipped that idea in the bud, and on top of everything else it was a sequel/spin-off to a movie that was already extremely unpopular (Daredevil vindication was a long way’s off at that point). With all that in mind, is it any wonder that it’s one of the lowest grossing films to ever be based off of a Marvel comic? The only films that did worse were Punisher: War Zone, Man-Thing, and The New Mutants. Even the Howard the Duck movie did better than this shit!

The career of director Rob Bowman as tanked because of this film, with his credits being relegated to TV. Garner, meanwhile, fared just as poorly, with her career cooling off and leading roles not being a thing for her after that point. But worst of all is the career of the poor boat house in this movie, as it ended up appearing in Fifty Shades of Grey. And obviously this film dragged down the idea of a woman headlining a superhero flick for about a decade until Genocide Barbie Gal Gadot stepped into Wonder Woman’s boots. And while Catwoman would receive better adaptations on the big screen, Elektra would get no such chance…

...Until it was revealed that Garner was reprising her role in, of all things, Deadpool & Wolverine.

While the film isn’t out as of the time of this review, the announcement of her presence in it really got me intrigued about the last time she donned the red ninja outfit. I’m a huge apologist for early to mid-2000s superhero garbage, so it only made sense to check it out in preparation for the massive Marvel crossover Deadpool was about to deliver. And you know what question I always ask when going in to an infamous film like this: Is it really that bad?

THE GOOD

This film is just hilariously corny when it wants to be. I think when it does stupid stuff other superhero films of the time did, it tends to do them at least a little better. For instance, like Ghost Rider it has a quirky miniboss squad full of boring flat characters who exist for Elektra to kill. But while the ones in Ghost Rider are completely forgettable and bland, this film at least has some striking visuals with Tattoo and hot forceful lesbian murder smooching with Typhoid Mary, something I’m sure awoke things in the five people who watched this.

Garner herself is really, really trying, and to her credit most of the action scenes she’s in are pretty ok when they aren’t being edited to death. As I watched the unrated version, the brief glimpses of insight into her backstory are nice, and I do love that bright red costume on her. If nothing else, she does sell how cool Elektra is supposed to be with how she carries herself, even if the writing isn’t doing her many favors.

The final act is where things really get fun, because we have a big stupid battle against magical tattoos, teleporting ninjas, and genuinely the funniest possible way to kill a villain ever. I legitimately burst out laughing when I saw this:

youtube

THE BAD

Unfortunately, no matter how funny Typhoid Mary taking a knife to the forehead after saying her only two lines in the movie, two lines that actually give her more character than every other villain in the film, it can’t really completely save the film from its two massive, crippling issues.

Literally everyone in this movie is a fucking moron. The biggest moron is easily Elektra’s buddy, who sacrifices himself so Elektra can escape from the bad guys… but his sacrifice is pointless because they pull the info from his mind with psyhcic powers. He would’ve been better off running away with them! But it’s not like the villains are much smarter; one of them chops down a tree, and then almost immediately forgets this and walks into its path before getting crushed to death. It is genuinely absurd how dumb these characters manage to get. The dumbest of them all, however, has to be Stick. I genuinely have no idea what the fuck this man is trying to accomplish at any point, because he is recklessly gambling with people’s lives here.

But hey, dumb decisions are fine in a trashy 2000s superhero movie as long as they lead to some enjoyably dumb scenarios, right? Well, about that… Barring a couple of ridiculously goofy action scenes, this film is pretty bereft of memorable corniness. Remember how I said the minibosses in Ghost Rider were not as good as the ones here? Sure, maybe it’s true, but no amount of murderous lesbian smooching makes this movie more memorable than Ghost Rider, which features over a dozen insane Nicolas Cage moments. But maybe that’s cheating, it’s not fair to compare a Jennifer Garner vehicle to a Nicolas Cage one… so how about Catwoman? As absolutely shoddy as that movie is, there are a bunch of cringey, campy scenes that have helped earn the movie at least a handful of ironic fans. There’s just nothing like that in Elektra. It’s trashy and stupid in safe, unimpressive ways for the most part, and it doesn’t do anything at all to really stand out from the crowd.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Yeah, I guess it’s bad, but the level of bad that it is is greatly exaggerated.

The movie I’d most compare this to is, of all things, Morbius. I love Morbius more than most people, and even I’m willing to admit it’s multiple bright spots of trashy charm are interspersed with the dullest shit imaginable, and Elektra has a similar issue. It’s just so goddamn unmemorable and dull for the most part, with only the final act being packed full of silly nonsense to latch onto. But even that comparison isn’t great, because Milo was sprinkled throughout Morbius and was genuinely hilarious the whole way through, while Elektra just plods along until it remembers to actually be a little cool for the finale.

I guess really the film is less “bad” and more “not good.” Like if you throw this on in the background as noise while you do something else, it’s not the worst you could do, though even then something like Black Adam would probably be better. If you want to watch a trashy 2000s superhero film, I guess it’s not unwatachably unpleasant, but why wouldn’t you watch Catwoman or Ghost Rider instead? It just is in such an unenviable position where it’s the bottom of the bottom of the barrel, the least engaging super-schlock ever made, a movie not good enough to be vindicated but not bad enough to deserve the hate it gets. Elektra is just a film that exists. That’s all there is to it and aside from the single funny death, I have no strong feelings about this movie. I think a solid 4 is where this belongs. Not good enough to be average, not bad enough to be awful, it’s just there.

All this being said, I’m honestly very excited to see Garner become a teleporting ninja assassin again. Every comic character who was in a crappy adaptation deserves a second shot, be it as a new character (Michael B. Jordan as Killmonger) or as a reprisal that improves on the untapped potential that was there (Jamie Foxx’s Electro in No Way Home). I’m rooting for Garner to get her due, and for Electra to get the respect she truly deserves… But I just don’t really think this movie’s going to be getting a reappraisal no matter how good she ends up doing.

#is it really that bad #IIRTB #review #movie review #Elektra #Marvel #Jennifer Garner #Daredevil #superhero movie #action movie #Youtube

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five-rivers · 2 years ago

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Optimism Chapter 1

AO3

@warvikwrites

At heart, Vlad was an optimist. Genuinely. Really. Truly. He suspected that every ghost was. How else could they linger after the cruelest thing in life had occurred to them? How else could they survive after death? How else could they keep going when all hope had been stripped away?

Optimism. Pure and simple.

Vlad was optimistic about many things. His recovery from ecto-acne. His business prospects. His romance with Maddie. His plans to murder Jack.

The possibility of there being someone else out there who was like him.

If anyone else was privy to his thoughts, they might have called him delusional. Hah. Could a delusional man have built such an empire of theft and lies? Could a delusional man have risen from the ashes so majestically? No. But he was getting off track.

The point was, Vlad had set aside some of his prodigious fortune for a search.

Well, more of a listening station than a search. A network of listening stations, stretching across the globe, reporting their findings back to him.

Less metaphorically, Vlad funded a lot of hospitals. A lot of doctors. A lot of medical research. He made sure those funds bought some very grateful people who were more than happy to let him know when certain interesting cases crossed their paths. He also employed a number of ghosts via less monetary means.

It was a great expense. But Vlad thought - Vlad was optimistic that - if his search should bear fruit, that fruit would be priceless.

It also gave him a great reputation for charity, which was more broadly useful than optimism.

Still. It was a longshot if there ever was one. As he approached the date of his Gatsbean triumph, his defeat of Jack and his reclamation of Maddie, he was beginning to doubt that anything would ever come of it. Beginning, even, to start to neglect the reports his many listeners and watchers were sending him.

But he was optimistic. He hadn’t given up hope yet.

Which was why, as he lounged in his velvet dressing gown, sipping a glass of port, he scanned morosely through a stack of medical reports. The doctors were always very careful not to give him any personally identifiable information. Just… points of interest.

So he paused and stared when he saw the summary ‘Adolescent male admitted to Amity Park hospital with electrical and chemical burns. Chemical burns formed blisters filled with green, unidentified liquid within minutes of admission. Liquid could not be removed from blisters. Possible similarities to Study VM1984. Electrical scars also carry unusual green tint. Patient smells strongly of limes and peppers.’

Vlad read the summary half a dozen times, his heart beating faster with each readthrough. He’d gotten his hopes up before. He’d been led on before. But even that history couldn’t stop him from tearing open the file and devouring it.

And while the doctors had scruples, the ghosts did not, even if remembering human names were occasionally beyond them.

Amity Park. South Mercy Hospital. Room 724. That’s where he needed to go.

Danny was miserable, but he guessed that it was better to be miserable and alive than… dead.

He’d thought for a bit there that he was dead, on the floor of the lab, floating just above, well… Point was, though, that he wasn’t dead. Just miserable.

Just miserable.

He blinked slowly at the plastic sheeting around his bed and tried not to think too hard about why his skin felt like it was stuck to the sheets. He’d watched a documentary once about Chernobyl. It had been rated R, but his parents had thought that the educational value was greater than the risk of trauma or whatever. The quarantine room he’d been shut into shared a great deal of similarities with the set of the hospital where the firefighters were dying.

Then again, it also had similarities to sets in zombie movies, so what did he know?

Both of those things had a lot of death in them, though. A whole lot.

He should stop thinking about this.

It was just too bad that there wasn’t all that much else to think about. He was stuck in the bed, stuck in his head… and if he started to rhyme like that he’d definitely evolve into some kind of supervillain. Maybe radiation man. Evil ghost radiation man. Whatever.

The TV in the room was on the other side of the plastic sheeting. The screen was distorted, the volume too low to accurately hear, except for commercials, because it was set to one of those channels that shifted the volume of commercials up about a hundred percent from the volume of the actual show. They should be sued for that, actually. Danny would sue them, if he had the money for it. Maybe. Something like ‘deafening a nation with cheese ball ads is still deafening a nation.’

He didn’t have the remote. Didn't even know if there was a remote.

The problem with this was that even for the most exhausted human on Earth - a distinction Danny was surely at least in the running for - there were a limited number of hours a person could sleep a day. While in theory that number was twenty-four, in practice it was generally lower.

Danny knew he was feeling sorry for himself, but he thought he deserved to feel sorry for himself. He couldn't even roll over. On the last video call, his parents had said they’d had a friend in college who’d recovered from something ‘similar,’ and they were desperately trying to contact him to see how, but Danny had his doubts at this stage. No way something as serious as this had a name as dumb as ‘ecto-acne.’ ‘Green bubonic plague’ seemed more appropriate.

But it was better than the alternative. A shiver rolled through him, and suddenly he was so cold he’d almost swear he could see his breath. That split second where he was dying, dead, a ruined ghost in the mirror, the hallucination of falling through his friends hands…

Or, worse, the second before it, when, hearing Sam and Tucker scream, he thought he’d killed them, too. He really hoped they didn’t have any side effects from standing so close to the portal. He didn’t really remember what they looked like when he saw them, after.

Someone would have told him if they weren’t okay, right? Except that no one seemed to want to upset him. As if he could get more upset.

Okay. Actually, he’d give them that one.

He shifted his weight slightly, half intending to get up despite the way agony shot through him whenever his blisters brushed against anything. But even as he did so, grogginess swept through him, and the little weight he’d managed to lift sank back onto his pillows. His eyes drifted closed.

Vlad reset the dial on the morphine drip carefully. He might have given the young man, the boy, a little more than the doctors would have prescribed, but Vlad had been there. He knew what it was like, the feeling of your skin swelling, peeling, rotting, dying, the ectoplasm worming its way ever-deeper, and, more selfishly, he also wanted a chance to… observe. To see.

To determine if his first impression was at all correct.

He reached down, and gently lifted the boy’s hand from where it lay limply on the bed, the ectoplasm-pus-filled boils on it glowing weakly where they intersected with Vlad’s aura. If anyone looked in, it would look like the boy was raising his hand on his own, but Vlad doubted they would. He’d passed something of an argument on the way in.

The boy’s ecto-acne had spread all the way down his arm. It must be progressing much more rapidly than Vlad’s had. Or… no. It all looked like it was at about the same stage of development, although it was somewhat less severe than it was on his face. He must have gotten a massive dose, but perhaps he had been wearing some form of protective gear on his body and hands. Or simply clothing and gloves. Whatever he’d been wearing, it had protected him from neither the ectoplasm nor whatever had caused the Lichtenberg figures forking down along his arms and up his neck.

Had he been hit by lightning? On his chest or torso? Had he stepped on an electrical wire?

He put the boy’s hand down and circled the bed, observing further, taking in the distorted lines of the boy’s face, the fall of his hair, the soft, slow rise and fall of his chest, the muddled and, possibly, transitory ectosignature.

Vlad was optimistic that the ectosignature was not transitory. That it was permanent. That it would stabilize. That the boy would, after a fashion, live. Always optimistic. He brushed his fingers against the boy’s cheek. The boils here flared brighter than the ones on his hand.

Lovely, in some ways, disgusting in more. He withdrew.

As miraculous as all this was for Vlad, he couldn’t help but wonder how the boy had come to be so contaminated, and in such a way. All his attempts at making half-ghost animals or even plants had met with limited success. Had he been intersected by a natural portal? Struck with lightning while passing through one?

Briefly, Vlad entertained the idea that the boy might be from another time period. How fortunate that would be for him. Vlad, of course, would serve as his guardian as well as his mentor in that most ideal of situations.

There was always the outside chance that the boy had somehow managed to find himself in the same situation as Vlad, in the path of an artificial portal, but, surely, that possibility was beyond laughable. Even Jack wouldn’t let a child into a lab researching the nature of death, to say nothing of Maddie, and no one else had the knowledge.

The strange thing was, the boy almost seemed familiar in some ways… Incredible, verging on impossible, considering the swelling caused by the ecto-acne, but, still, there was something…

The door of the room burst open, and the devil himself walked in, wearing a biohazard suit.

A devil who went by the name of Jack Fenton.

Vlad threw himself out of the way. He could have gone intangible, yes, but he didn’t want his molecules to touch Jack’s at all, even intangibly, thank you very much.

Jack was followed by two others. A smaller figure, a teen, and…

… Maddie.

The love of his life. She was as radiant as ever, even through the plastic faceplate of a full hazmat suit.

But why was she here? Why were any of them here, in this room, with his boy?

Transfixed, Vlad watched the tableau. Jack, Maddie, and the teen in their biohazard suits, leaning over the boy, holding his hand, whispering to him, tears impacting the insides of their face plates.

Rage boiled within him when he saw Jack, the fool, the oaf, take his boy’s slender, delicate hand with no regard to how painful the ecto-acne on it must be. But that rage was equalled, if not exceeded by the confusion engendered by the presence of Maddie and the girl.

Surely, they couldn’t have been called in as experts. Vlad would have been contacted long before them, as the only survivor of this kind of poisoning and pioneer and patent holder for its treatment.

“Mister and Missus Fenton!” snapped a doctor wearing similar garb. “I don’t care if you’re ‘properly dressed,’ you cannot be here until we figure out what the contaminant is!

“This is our son!” said Jack. “We can’t not be here!”

“And we’re the experts in this ‘contamination!’ It’s ectoplasm.”

The doctor looked like he wanted to strangle them. Vlad sympathized, but he was still reeling from the revelation. His boy? Jack’s… son?

Maddie’s son. That was a much more comfortable thought.

“I thought you said we had permission,” hissed the… daughter? Yes, surely, that young lady must be Jack and Maddie’s daughter.

Wonderful, in some ways, disgusting in more.

“Why should we need permission to see Danny?”

“That question would make more sense if it wasn’t your fake ‘ghost portal’ that did this to him!”

“With the hazmat–”

“What if it’s not safe for him?”

That shut Jack up.

“Thank you,” said the doctor. “We will let you know when you can come back and visit properly. In the meantime, you need to leave. You can keep having video conversations like you have been.”

They left. Vlad dropped himself into a nearby visitor chair, just outside the plastic sheeting they had the boy surrounded by. Maddie’s son… And he had been changed by a portal.

Incredible. Beyond optimism.

On the counter beside him, there was a folder. Probably a copy of something that had been left behind accidentally. He picked it up and opened it.

At the very top of the first piece of paper, was the name Daniel Fenton.

Daniel.

Daniel was a lovely name. Maddie must have chosen it.

Daniel Fenton.

Daniel.

Soon enough, it would be Daniel Masters.

Vlad liked the ring of that.

Danny was nervous. His parents had gotten in touch with their friend who’d had ‘ecto-acne’ and he was coming to visit the hospital to do an assessment. His parents hadn’t mentioned before today that he was the patent holder for the only effective treatment of ecto-acne, and that the treatment was still classified as experimental, so he could withhold it, if he decided to. They hadn’t mentioned that he was the only expert in the disease, and that he’d virtually cured himself. They hadn’t mentioned that the treatment was extremely expensive and their insurance wouldn’t cut it. They hadn’t mentioned that their friend was Vlad Masters. Or that he payed most of the bills for this hospital.

Danny was realizing that his parents had a tendency to not mention really important things.

Like, hey, the stuff we sometimes store in the fridge can cause a debilitating and potentially fatal illness! Yeah. That would have been great to know forever ago.

… the CPS case that was taking up so much of their time recently might hold more water than Danny had originally thought.

One of the nurses, wearing a huge, bulky version of hazmat, had brought the video call computer up to his bed. She’d be assisting Mr. Masters with his assessment.

Mr. Masters. Danny was a bit confused that it wasn’t Dr. Masters, when he’d gone through most of the same schooling as Danny’s parents and then learned at least enough about medicine to be considered an expert in something like this, but apparently the man preferred it that way.

Danny didn’t get it.

But Danny had other things to worry about, like not annoying the man who could decide whether Danny could get better now or if he’d have to wait until his parents figured something out. Danny… was not particularly optimistic about his parents figuring anything out. At the same time, he could read between the lines. Mr. Masters had cut contact with his parents for nearly twenty years and then only responded to their frantic calls about Danny after days had gone by.

Danny didn’t think Mr. Masters liked his parents very much.

But he was seeing Danny, so… Maybe Danny could be optimistic. Less pessimistic. Whatever.

The loading circle on the screen vanished, replaced by a picture of his parents sitting side by side.

“Oh, Vladdie’s not here yet?” asked Jack, his voice tinny through the speaker.

“No, you’re the first ones on,” said the nurse.

“Hi, Danny,” said Maddie, giving him a little wave. “How do you feel today?”

“Tired,” said Danny. It was a real question, but he didn’t have the energy to describe the… everything. His skin was too hot, his insides too cold, every movement was pain, sometimes he’d randomly be freezing for no reason, and he wasn’t sure if he had started to have hallucinations, or if the awful green stuff had migrated to the inside of his eyes, because it looked like there were blobs of it everywhere.

She smiled halfway. “You just have to hold in for a little bit, Danny. I’m sure Vlad won’t be long. He’ll see the same things we do.”

Just as she finished her sentence, another loading circle popped up and was quickly replaced by the image of a silver-haired man in an expensive-looking suit. He sat in an opulent office, backed by shelves full of books and knick knacks.

“Hello, Maddie. Ah, you must be Daniel.”

“Yeah,” said Danny, he tried to smile, but the motion pulled at one of his blisters, and he stopped.

“Vladdie!” exclaimed Jack. “It’s been forever! It’s great to see you looking so, so–”

“I would say that it was nice to meet you, Daniel,” interrupted Mr. Masters, entirely ignoring Jack, “but under the circumstances… It probably doesn’t feel nearly as nice to you.” He looked down at something below the range of his camera. “Now, I have a few photographs here from your parents and your doctors, but I will need to get a better look at some things and ask some questions before I can really tell if your contaminant is ectoplasm based, and, if it is, whether or not your problem is the same as mine.”

“Vladdie? Does he not hear me? Is our microphone not on?”

“I can hear you just fine, Jack, but there are more important things at hand. Daniel, is it alright for me to examine you? I know this is all very irregular.” Mr. Masters looked up. “This would be so much easier if I could do this in person, but time is of the essence, unfortunately, and this is such a surprise.”

Danny understood. It was a surprise for him, too.

“Yeah… It’s okay.”

“Good. Then, if you’re ready, let’s begin with…”

The assessment was blessedly brief, mostly consisting of the nurse helping Danny move to show off different blisters.

“Well,” said Mr. Masters, “I have to agree with Maddie’s diagnosis of ecto-acne.” He shuffled together a sheaf of papers. “I had been optimistic that my sickness was a one-off, a fluke, but I’m glad I prepared for the worst. “Daniel will need–” Mr. Masters started to rattle off a list of… It was a list.

“Mr. Masters,” said the nurse, “I don’t think this hospital has all of that equipment.”

“I am aware. I will, of course, arrange for you to be moved to my private clinic, near my home, Daniel. It’s where I get treatments for my flare ups.”

“Oh, Vlad,” said Maddie, “I don’t know if we can afford–”“Nonsense, Maddie, dear,” said Mr. Masters, smiling. “I’ll pay for everything. Transportation, board, treatment… Even a place for you and your daughter to stay nearby. After all, I know exactly what Daniel is going through. I could never leave someone to suffer like I did.”

#danny phantom #phic phight #phic phight 2023

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epicmiscellaneousponderings · 1 year ago

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Top Thirteen Thursday

It's spooky season and while it has been some time since my last post. So let's make a change about that! Have some of my Top Thirteen movies, more or less ;) to watch for Halloween in no particular order. As always feel free to buy me a coffee and to leave your favorite Halloween movies in the comments!

The Canterville Ghost (1996) staring Sir Patrick Stewart. This is an easy and mild movie for Halloween but a classic non the less.

2. Winchester (2018). This another fairly mild movie with a rating of PG-13 that has some well placed jump scares and tense moments, overall a more story driven movie with supernatural/ghost elements.

3. Tower of Terror (1997). This is a Disney movie and honestly just a lot of good fun, it is not rated oddly enough though I can't really see it being rated more than PG-13 at most.

4. What Lies Beneath (2000). Rated PG-13 and staring Harrison Ford. This is more of a psychological supernatural story. Fun fact is that it's screenplay was written by Clark Gregg so that's cool!

5. When A Stranger Call (1979 rated R & 2006 rated PG-13). So speaking of Clark Gregg, he shows up momentarily in the 2006 version of this movie. Both of these versions are a good suspense thriller as the protagonist tries to stay alive with killer playing cat and mouse with them. Also When a Stranger Calls Back (1993 rated R) is worth a look if you like the 1979 movie.

6. Dream House (2011). Rated PG-13 staring Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, and Naomi Watts. A simple plot with a mystery. The actors do a good job of carrying the story, which yes isn't very deed but it is well executed.

7. Sleepy Hollow (1999). Rated R and staring Johnny Depp. It's a ride wild on Irving's Legend of Sleepy Hollow and slightly odd at times but a good watch and an interesting take on the characters involved.

8. House on Haunted Hill (1959). Not Rated and staring Vincent Price. Five guests in a maybe haunted mansion and murder afoot. Honestly just about anything staring Vincent Price will more than likely fit right on in with the spooky season!

9. A Quiet Place (2018). Rated PG-13 and more of a science fiction suspense than a horror, but let me tell you that had to be the quietest theater full of people ever when I went and saw it with family.

10. The Sixth Sense (1999). Rated PG-13 this movie is a classic with it's famous line of "I see dead people" and if you don't know the twist I most certainly am not going to spoil it.

11. Shutter Island (2010). Rated R and staring Mark Ruffalo, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Ben Kingsley. This is categorized as a Thriller/Mystery and the story that is told has re-watch value to notice all the details that the makers made sure to put in there. I'm not saying a lot here cause I don't want to spoil it but my family when we first watched went right back and watched it immediately again, not because we were confused but because you can get a new experience with knowing eyes the second time around.

12. Stonehearst Asylum (2014). Rated PG-13 and staring Ben Kingsley, Micheal Caine, and David Thewlis. This is a Thriller/Mystery/Horror mix that keeps you on your toes trying to guess what is really going on and who the main character can actually trust.

13. It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown (1966). A classic and only 25 minutes long, I got a rock.

And there you have my Top Thirteen Halloween movies! There is certainly a list I could make of Honorable Mentions, but maybe I'll do that next year... Stay Spooky!

#Top Thirteen Thursday #October 2023 #Top 13 Thursday #spooky season #halloween

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anonanimal · 2 years ago

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the night house was ok i guess. spoilers if u care. i love rebecca but besides her. the premise was more fun than the execution. she had a near-death experience years ago and it wants her back final-destination-style so her husband starts serial killing doppelgangers of her to placate it in a copy of their house he built on the opposite side of the lake to confuse it. and he's doing this based on info from occult books he got at a bookshop. that's an incredible premise. a lot of the haunting stuff was kind of lame. and i'm not sure makes sense. the ending was kind of lame. she basically gets no time to think about and further explore the "my husband was a serial killer. to help me, sure. but still." the unraveling of the mystery was the best stuff. some scenes of beth interacting with other people were great character moments. the indents on her skin as Not Owen touches her were cool. the movie wasn't brave enough to have her fuck a ghost but whatever. not like everyone's favorite orgasm euphemism "la petite mort" wasn't right there the whole time for this movie to play with. i mean it tried a little when she touches the air where Not Owen might be and she swoons into the boat. there's scenes like these where the movie tries out a love continuing after death thing but has to throw it out because it's not actually her dead husband, and that's another thing she barely gets to think about before the end. think it suffered from a lack of details of the occult shit he got up to, details of why the house was built the way it was. suffers from the interior design of the house being kind of boring. if death is Nothing then how come it does things and talks to her and has like. a will. fun movie with some problems and a kernel of stupidity at its heart. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

wait i just realized what "death" meant when it was telling her villain-monologue-style that it never left her and then jumped to her husband + why she mentions she had a history of depression. r u telling me death trying to get her to kill herself manifested as said history of depression and it started trying to get her husband to kill her instead when she was too strong-willed or whatever. god that's kind of stupid i'm revising my star rating. ⭐⭐⭐ i need to watch something that's stupid on PURPOSE immediately

also owen was the dumbest character ever written how the hell did he think killing himself would get death to back off when he'd already made multuple sacrifices in exchange for her life that didn't work. guess you could argue it's unclear owen knew what exactly was compelling him to kill her and he thought killing himself would be the end of the danger she was in. BUT his note says "you were right, there is nothing." which either means Death gave him the villain speech too oorrrr... actually that's all i can think it means.

see if death's personification here and death wanting beth is a metaphor for her depression and grief...there's no analogue for making literal human sacrifices here. owen literally killed people. death as a character in this movie is like half a metaphor. if the death entity is analogous to her depression then owen keeping it at bay by being her loving husband should be analogous to him doing....something nice??

TLDR:

death: "i need u bad baby plz take me back 🤗"

rebecca hall: "i liked u better when i thought u were my dead husband 😒"

me: "can we talk more about serial murder and mazes for trapping and confusing entities"

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fairyflowwers · 3 months ago

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MOVIE RATINGS

Perfect Blue: solid 9/10

warnings: rape, insanity, murder

rating: R

genre: horror, psychological, anime

It was so incredible. Perfect camera shots, good plot, amazing voice acting (I watched the Japanese version, so I can't say anything about the English), and just overall amazing. It's about a pop star who quits music and takes on acting, only to be harrased by her creepy ass music fans who are stalking her. She ends up going insane trying to figure out what's reality and whats hallucination, as well as if she's the one murdering people or if that's her stalker. It also shows how downright disgusting the paparazzi can be towards idols, especially female idols. If you have watched the Black Swan then think of this movie as the same thing except more pink + it came out before Black Swan did. Definitely a good watch but also not a family movie, better to watch with a close friend. This is also takes like Third Place in best influential anime movies of all time, right after Akira and Ghost in the Shell.

#tw rape #tw insanity #tw murder #movies #movie review #slight spoilers #horror movie #anime #movie recommendation #novas ratings

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4emfox · 3 months ago

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The String

The first to die was Religion.

At birth I was given the string to a helium filled balloon. I was told this was the safest, best way to navigate life — above all the spiritual dangers of the world. And as an obedient kid, I listened.

Never, ever look down, they said. So, I held tight, didn’t let go. Floating ever higher. Er…maybe just holding ever tighter.

Eventually, my wrist became fatigued. My muscles and joints sore from how tightly I held on. But never, ever looking down. Never feeling safe enough to let go.

As I grew, the persistent ache started to make the thought of plunging to my spiritual death from however high I was seem more and more pleasing.

The same words played obsessively in my mind, “I’m loosening my grip…I’m starting to slip…I’m afraid I’ll shatter like glass!” Immediately my grip would tighten.

Every day.

I’m loosening my grip…I’m starting to slip…

I’m loosening my grip…I’m starting to slip…I’m afraid I’ll shatter like glass!”

Tighten.

Until one day….

I loosen my grip,

I start to slip,

Still afraid I’ll shatter like glass.

But I opened my hand, let go of the string and,

GASP!

It was just grass.

The second to die was my marriage.

Through tangled balloon strings, perceived values, and cultural expectations…when I let go of my string and felt the grass between my toes for the first time, a lot of other things — and people — became disentangled.

This was one of the harder parts. Letting go sounds easy…but letting go of something other people value scares them. They take it personally. All of a sudden, I was contagious to everyone who still held tightly to their string.

My marriage was built on the foundation of the string and the balloon. Once I let go, there was nothing else to hold onto.

The third to die were my values.

But my values were fucked. My values taught me that I was exceptionally special. Chosen. That *this string* was only for a few, select people. That floating above them made me better than them.

I didn’t drink coffee. I didn’t drink alcohol. I didn’t engage in sex outside of marriage. I didn’t get tattoos. I didn’t even watch R-rated movies. This made me pure (squee). Which made others who did these things not pure.

My *values* were judgmental by default.

When I let go of my spiritual string, the first value to disentangle from my spiritual web was the R-rated movie…in the form of The 40-Year-Old Virgin. As a 23 year old, it resonated. It was the first time I’d seen that many sexualized tits in a movie. I felt both free and horrified.

Next, I got a tattoo. In the 6th grade I drew a little flower on my hip and proclaimed I would one day get a tattoo. Those around me said I would feel Satan’s Power over me, or at least the lack of the presence of the Holy Ghost if I didn’t adhere to all the rules of The String. And I walked outta that tattoo shop feeling…like myself. Liberated. I tested the cultural norms I had been taught…and I won.

Then, I drank alcohol. But no one had given me any advice about how to drink responsibly — only not to drink at all. So I downed a whole bottle of White Beringer Zinfandel in about 20 mins because being drunk looked fun…

Being that drunk was not fun.

Once I popped the coffee-cherry (which is now incorporated into my morning ritual), I began to engage in extra-marital sex. The last value to fall.

At first the idea of being a “licked cupcake” or a “chewed piece of gum” dominated my mind. I was slutty. I was going against everything I was taught. After all, fornication is the Sin Next to Murder in Mormonism.

Eventually, the imprint from that part of the string had faded. Leaving me to be an almost-normal, coffee drinking, alcohol indulging, rated R movie watching, sexually empowered, full person. With values that serve me and the people around me, regardless of their lifestyle or choices.

But first, I had to die.

I was the fourth death.

I held onto my spiritual string for the better part of 23 years. So tightly that it left imprints that took time to fade. It was my entire identity. Everyone around me — family, friends, people I worked with — validated my beliefs with their own.

Who would I be without my string?

The burden of The String began to cloud my mind and make me sick. I was in despair — and could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. When I learned that there was nothing beneath me but grass, I felt a profound betrayal and sunk into a deep, desperate depression.

As a strong minded, relatively self-aware 23 year old — I no longer knew who I was. I was nothing. I was no one. I used to be exceptionally special. Chosen. And now I wasn’t.

The imprints from the string slowly faded, leaving a faint scar (in the form of anxiety and thinking errors). But when I died…when my worst fear came true and I let go of that string, my death was…gentle…

No fire and brimstone. No thunder and lightning supplemented by the boom of God’s voice damning me. No guilt.

The depression faded, and like the worn out analogy of the phoenix, I was reborn as myself from my own ashes. And I saw that I was exactly the same…but better.

#religion #mormon

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whatyourusherthinks · 6 months ago

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The Strangers: Chapter 1 Review

I didn't want to watch this movie. I already don't really like slashers, but goddamn did this premise look fucking stupid. "They don't need a reason" just sounds like the writers are bragging about not finishing the script. I almost skipped it using my 'No Sequels, No Prequels' rule, but not only do I think I'm going to eject that rule from this challenge entirely, but it doesn't apply to reboots. Which this is. I haven't seen The Strangers movie from 2008, by the way. And if it's anything like this movie I won't watch it ever, but I spoil my conclusion. Let's get to the review.

What's The Movie About?

Two lovers get stranded in the woods, and they tormented by three masked killers.

What I Like.

There's a scene where the two leads have a heart-to-heart and a couple little moments where they have actual concern for each other and it was very sweet. This movie is also the first time I've heard the song Nights In White Satin by The Moody Blues, and I enjoy that song. I did get a kick at listing every innocuous thing the couple did being the reason that they were going to be killed, and I thought the proposal scene at the end was funny. Both of those things were not intentional on the part of the filmmakers, true, but I'll give the movie credit for it anyway because it's not getting a lot otherwise.

What I Didn't Like.

This movie is not only a checklist of things I don't like about slasher movies, but it also has a cadre of interesting new problems that make it a real slog to watch. I'm gonna split this section into two parts, so let's. Get! CRACKIN'!

First, what I don't like about slashers. I don't think they are scary. At all. I get the idea of a man in a mask with a knife is much more realistic than a ghost or monster, but not only do I think a threat that you can't quite comprehend because it wasn't even believed to EXIST until a few seconds ago is more scary than said man in mask, but it's also more interesting. Plus half the time these movies want us to sympathize with the killer, or at least be happy when the butcher up the ANNOYING AS HELL CHARACTERS. Yes, of course I'm happy to see an annoying character get killed. But I so much would prefer to have enjoyable to watch personalities try to solve a situation, and get sad then they fail and inevitably die. It also doesn't help that all the character are stupid in slashers movies. It's hard to feel sympathy when some dies if it's entirely their own fault. (Also, a lot of slasher have bizarrely puritan ethics. The joke that if you have sex in a horror movie you'll be the first to die is well known, but it also extends to smoking marijuana and the most grievous sin of not being white. Either way, you commit one "sin" and you're next to be on Chuck the Choppin' Man's chopping block. It's really fucked if you think about actually.) And if I don't feel sympathy for the victim of a murder, I don't get scared in the slightest. This, in my opinion, is the biggest way a horror movie can fail. It's not a death knell, I have recommended horror movies that I thought weren't scary. But I always recommend it on the creativity of the film, and/or the fun/spectacle of the violence. And well...

The Strangers fails itself beyond my issue with slashers, mostly because it lack some very important aspects. The first thing it lacks is fun or interesting violence. There are two main, non-killer (kind of) characters. So they are not going to get picked off one by one. Even when they eventually do get killed, it's by a stab to the gut. You know, the most boring way to get murdered. The film is rated R too, so I don't know why they are so coy with the gore. The masked killers of the film spend most of the time just messing around, which leads me to the next thing this movie lacks, any semblance of character intelligence. It's not just the victims in the Strangers, everyone is really fucking dumb. There are several moments where the killers have a perfect opportunity to kill one or both of the victims, but instead just decide to stare at them. Or the camera will pan past something and they're gone. Just like Batman oOoOoOoOh~. "Roan, clearly the killers are trying to mess with their victims. It's probably part of their motivation." Well Buggnutz, not only does half of the 'messing with their victims' go completely unnoticed by said victims, but you just hit the final and biggest aspect that this film is lacking. The Strangers: Chapter 1 lacks context, specifically about the killers. They purposefully did not give the killers any motivation. What they were trying to go for was invoking the horror of random crimes, the (please read the following two words with the thickest sarcasm imaginable) incredibly classy intro makes that clear. But here's the thing. Random violent crimes still have a motive behind them. Sometimes it's an accident, sometimes it's an addition to a robbery, and sometimes it's just because the perpetrator has a mental illness, but it's still a motive. Additionally, fiction has different rules than reality. When you are telling a story, there are certain rules you must follow otherwise it just, objectively, is a bad story. One of those rules is that characters must have a motivation. (Honestly, I think I don't even need to make a distinction between fiction and reality in this instance, but this isn't the place to discuss Nihilism versus Existentialism.) So the movie lacks spectacle, sense, and context. Leaving nothing but boring, nonsensical scenes.

I have one last complaint, which is not only pretty petty, but I also didn't know what section to put it under. So... I hate the dialogue in this movie. It's very quippy. Which I normally have no problem with at all, but it just generally sucks and I was begging for the couple to stop talking to each other entirely. Which is a bit of a shame, because when it felt like they weren't just being smug at each other they had some pretty good chemistry.

Final Summation.

Apparently this is gonna be a trilogy. Great. Next one's supposed to come out in October, so if I'm still doing this watch-everything-that-comes-out thing then I'll of course watch it. But I'm not looking forward to it. Please give the killers a motivation next time.

#The Strangers: Chapter 1 #Rejected Movies

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humanransome-note · 3 years ago

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Willy’s Wonderland

It has a gritty almost grind house feel, like I sort of expect leather face to come out of nowhere

Nic cage looks like if ghost rider were rated r

Almost 10 mins in and Nic Cage hasn’t said a word

And this tow truck driver is ripping him off, even though I know nothing about cars I know that

Wasn’t this supposed to be the fnaf movie? Or was that smth else?

15mins no lines from Cage. Is he mute in this?

He’s actually cleaning the place, good on him for that.

And they’re moving.

He’s doing the dishes!

He made a break alarm, lord knows why I think that’s cute.

And I appreciate the dad bod, ngl

20 mins, no lines, and he just beat an ostrich animatronic to death with a mop

He just changed cause he got dust on his uniform

Duct tape is not a good bandaid.

He’s had at least three energy drinks in the span of a few hours, what’s his resting heart rate?

Cleaning montage of the mens room, like it’s on tiktok

It’s your birthday written in blood on the mirror, this man does not flinch

30mins no lines

HE GAVE THIS GORILLA A CALIFORNIA SMILE ON A URINAL

Now he’s Gotta clean the bathroom again

Changed his shirt too

Forth energy drink and he’s filing his nails and playing pinball

And we’re back to the arson subplot

None of these kids thought to bring bolt cutters, I mean they planned to do it earlier, but if she saw a guy “get a job” a pit stop might have been nice

It says Siren Sarah, but she’s a fairy, neither things are all that safe

Not a word from Cage yet 40mins

These kids are freaking out and Cage doesn’t give a fuck

And two have wondered off to bone :\

She’s giving this whole fucking exposition dialogue and he’s just doing some cable/tube management

The two who went off to have the obligatory slasher sex went to the old murder room

I have to read the subtitles with the sound off or I’d be choking on my own spit it’s so ridiculous

Yeah this was supposed to be the fnaf movie, got the weird smell part of the lore

And the owner and he crew did a satanic ritual suicide to live in the suits forever

Y’all made a pentacle out of tape and still couldn’t make straight lines?

Ok not tape, invisible paint, but still, it’s rickety as shit

The animatronics would move on their own, I mean that’s what they’re supposed to do.

Wow dude, like there’s roasting your friends, and there’s that

“Oh, you a freak freak.”

And now they’re boning in the murder suicide room

They’re just watching this animatronic sing a murder chicken song

And a kid has been stabbed

Boy should be dead

Now he is

They’re fucking in the ball pit

Cage is just playing pinball in the kitchen

She just hung up on this kid

Pretty sure the saying is “protect and serve” sheriff.

I don’t have epilepsy, but there’re some nasty flashing lights

Break’s over!

50 mins no lines

THEY STILL FUCKIN!

They got eaten by the gator

She’s just watching Cage beat this thing to death.

At least she apologized for dragging her friends to the murder funhouse

Idk if this animatronic is lying or not

I think it is

More exposition!

Okay so her real parents were murdered, which is why she wants to burn it down so bad

It was lying!

Break time!

Girl held her own, with a switchblade!

Breaks over

Cops are here!

Oh, that’s a bit unexpected.

Hour in, no lines from Cage

She’s bargaining with the Ferret

“Head shoulders knees and toes~”

AN ANIMATRONIC WAS ON THE CAR FOR THIS WHOLE RIDE!

AND IT PICKPOCKETED THE SHELLS RIGHT OUT OF THE SHOTGUN! (IN SPANISH!)

Nic Cage killed the fairy with his thighs!

She beat up the animatronic but didn’t shoot it to make sure, the greatest slasher faux pass

HES CLEANING AGAIN!

Even got the kids’ bodies and covered them up.

How old is Nic Cage now?

He’s vibin’

Still no lines, and he’s 57, younger then I thought

I’m gonna say the ferret cheated for a bit

GET HIS ASS!

The fairy ain’t dead

Free Bird’s playing on the Juke

He drives off with the girl (who’s parents were killed) and the camera choices and music cues make it sorta creepy, but Nic Cage has such Dad vibes it negated those choices

HE RAN OVER THE ANIMATRONIC SHE LEFT ALIVE!

Not a word the whole film

He’s credited as “The Janitor” but it would have been dope to credit him as Nic Cage, but then again. He’s doing that for The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.

I know sm one’s gonna roast me for finding Nic Cage attractive, but do you really have any high ground? Here? In this cesspool of questionable taste?

4/5 entertaining and I didn’t have to think, good movie to turn your brain off to

#wurds #note watches #willy’s wonderland #nicolas cage

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abarbaricyalp · 3 years ago

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@sambuckylibrary

SamBucky Halloween Prompt 5: Mausoleum

Sam meets Bucky in a mausoleum in Brooklyn (This fic is set in Brooklyn because I could not make up a reason for Bucky to be in Louisiana despite the fact that I really very badly wanted it set in Louisiana. Bucky is also slightly younger because of fic reasons.)

Rated G: Discussions of death and loss (It’s set in a mausoleum, use discretion) (AO3 link in the notes)

Title from “Little Ghost” by The White Stripes, highly encourage you to listen to the song

One I’m Most Scared Of

Sam hated funerals. He hated that his father wanted him around for them. No other seventeen year old was surrounded by so much death and mourning.

“Sam, you have a gift,” his father said. “You put others at ease just by your presence.”

Sam thought everyone else should invest in a therapist and not a high schooler.

Petulantly, he kicked his heels back against a stone bench as he stared at the walls of crypts and cremains spots. Behind him, the funeral party milled and offered condolences to the bereaved, which actually seemed like everyone in the party. Sometimes, a funeral party seemed less bereaved than relieved at these things. Sam remembered the first time he heard a man’s daughter immediately plan lunch with a group of friends without a waver to her voice or a tear on her cheek. He vowed he’d never be the kind of person that had a funeral like that.

If he even had a funeral. Putting himself in the ground in whatever clothes he died in and then becoming a tree without telling anyone was becoming a nicer and nicer option.

So, he listened to the sniffling without turning around and thought about what kind of tree he’d become. He’d already done his duties of rubbing a wife’s arm, hugging kids, tickling grandkids, listening to the same three stories a dozen times. His father couldn’t expect anything else from him. So he wasn’t thrilled when someone his age sat down beside him.

The guy was handsome in a traditional, classical sort of way. Not as boring as the rich white guys who went to Sam’s school. His hair was side parted and only long enough to make an impressive arch on his head instead of laying in his face. He had a square jaw that was a little comical and his nose was a little fucked up in a kind of endearing way. The way Sam’s best friend looked after getting beaned in the face by a wayward baseball. Like most people who came through the mausoleum, he was sad.

There was no other word for it. Sam had tried to be poetic about his time in the crypts, but there was only so much the clinical-ness of bereaved and the dramatic-ness of tortured or sobbing or anguished could do. And they were rarely entirely true. Sad was just the word for people staring at remains of someone they once loved. Sometimes the simple explanation was the most appropriate. The rest of death and grief was already so complicated. It was easier to just feel sad.

The guy was too old to be a grandkid but too young to be a kid, unless the deceased and his wife had gotten freaky in their elder age. Sam hadn’t noticed him in his previous passes of the party or from the service, where he always sat in the back and made it a game to memorize as many shades of black or ridiculous hair styles as possible.

In fact, the boy wasn’t even wearing black. He was wearing a dark brown jacket, adorned with gold accents and pins. In fact… Sam was pretty certain it was an old military dress uniform.

“Uh...are you just visiting?” Sam ventured when the guy didn’t even bother to glance over.

The guy’s mouth quirked to one side faintly. “Yeah, you could say that. That one,” he said, gesturing to an entombment with a gravemarker that read James Buchanan Barnes March 10, 1922 - February 5, 1942. Son, Brother, Friend, Hero.

“Oh,” Sam breathed and understood the weird military uniform. “Are you related to him? You do kinda look like him.”

The guy turned finally to look at Sam and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, you could say that. I’m Bucky.”

“Oh, jeez, you were named after him too.”

The guy--Bucky 2, apparently--cocked his head in a half nod. “I’m actually waiting on someone. Do you think they’ll be here much longer?” he asked, jerking his chin over to the party.

“Well, these things don’t really have a limit to how long people can be here,” Sam pointed out. “But most people get the point when they start sealing the tomb and all. Uh, this thing you’re waiting for, is it about him? Like, some kind of memorial service?”

It was neither February nor March, so Sam couldn’t imagine why there would be a memorial service for Barnes now. It had been a while since Sam’s father had done a service in Brooklyn and he’d kind of forgotten the cult status Barnes and, to a much greater extent, Rogers had in this town.

“Nah, I’m just waiting on a friend,” Bucky said.

“Well…” Sam settled back against the stone bench. “I’ll stand in for a while.”

“You wanna be my friend? Should I be worried. I think horror movies start off like this.”

“Name one horror movie that starts off in a mausoleum.”

“Murder by the Clock. Mummy’s Tomb. All the vampire movies.”

“Dracula doesn’t live in a mausoleum,” Sam argued lightly. “And I’ve never even heard of those other movies.”

“That’s ‘cause you don’t watch classics.”

“Uh-huh. Or you were just scraping the bottom of the barrel.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and knocked his shoulder against Sam’s. “Did you know…” He gestured back to the waning funeral party.

Sam shook his head. “No. My dad’s the pastor. He did the service. He likes me to be here for moral support.”

“Hell, I don’t think my parents trusted my morals as far as they could throw me,” Bucky snorted.

Sam noted the past tense but knew better than to push for information, especially in a mausoleum during a funeral of all places. “Are you a student around here?” he asked instead.

“Can’t you tell?” Bucky answered as he popped the lapels of his jacket. “I’m a soldier.”

“Right. A soldier who’s home, spending his time in mausoleums in front of his great-great uncle or something.”

“I could be a great-great grandkid. I heard he got around.”

“I heard that was all manufactured propaganda to sell a story.”

“I read it in a book.”

“And I read about time travel and aliens in a book.”

Bucky shrugged. “There are weirder things out there.”

“Right, in a world of super soldiers and Nazis with no faces,” Sam agreed drily.

“You’ll see,” Bucky assured. “Aliens and time travel are both gonna be all anyone talks about soon.”

“Y’know, I didn’t think a guy dressing up as his great-great grandpa-uncle to meet someone at his burial site would be so into sci-fi too.”

“Multitudes and all that. You know, there were half a dozen sci-fi books in his bag when his belongings were recovered.”

“I’ve heard that,” Sam said. Only because it’d been a point in the Oscar-Bait movie a few years ago. “He’d read to Rogers when he was sick.”

Bucky looked a little wistful and then nodded.”I’ve heard that too.”

“Do you ever feel pressure to be like him? Or be somethin’ you’re not, just ‘cause someone looked at your little baby face and named you after a legend?”

That wry, sad grin came back and Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Not really. Do you, though? I mean, obviously not him. But someone.”

Sam traced out the letters of the name of someone who died in 1985. A L E X A N D E R. He nodded. “Feels like everyone needs me to be someone and I let myself play that part until people stopped noticing it was a part.”

“What’s the part?” Bucky asked as he leaned back on his hands.

“I dunno. Someone who-- Well, I mean… Maybe it’s not a full part. Maybe I’m just upset that people only want me to have one kind of personality trait. I mean, everyone knows I’m kind and I’m good with words and I care about people. And I really do want to be that guy. But when I want to be that guy, y’know? Not all the time. Sometimes I want to cry and scream and rage too. Sometimes I want to be quiet for a little while and not help someone else. Just for a few hours.”

Bucky nodded and stared at the rows of internments before them. “Y’know. I’m sure people would understand that if you told them. If you said, ‘I can’t do this right now. Please let me be quiet.’”

“I know that,” Sam said softly. He tangled his fingers together in his lap. “Maybe I’m mostly angry at myself for not being able to say something like that. I’m the guy who helps. If I don’t do that, if I beg a day off, then who am I? What am I bringing to the table?”

Bucky scooted closer and put a hand on Sam’s knees. It sent a jolt through Sam’s body and he worked very hard on not jerking his gaze up to Bucky’s face. “Sam, you just said you have other personality traits, other feelings, other hobbies that aren’t hanging out in a mausoleum. That’s what you bring to the table on the days you can’t be there for everyone else.”

Sam nodded and reached up to rub two fingers under his eye. He wasn’t at full tears yet, but he also didn’t want to get any closer. “Wait, did I tell you my name?” he asked suddenly.

Bucky lifted an eyebrow again. “You must’ve. Or someone else said it earlier. The point is, you’re still you. And you bring smarts and humor and a good head around, even when you aren’t offering free therapy or a crying shoulder. And, Sam, listen, even when you don’t want to be any of that, you’re still kind. I’ve only been sitting here for a few minutes and you’ve been kind the whole time, even when you weren’t trying. It’s not a part you’re playing. Just be who you are and ask for your time when you need it. If people reflect even a quarter of the love you put out there back at you, no one will ever begrudge you some quiet.”

Sam swallowed thickly and leaned against Bucky’s shoulder heavily. Bucky moved his hand from Sam’s knee to wrap his arm around his ribs instead. “You really think I’m funny and smart?” Sam asked eventually.

“You started spouting off propaganda theories and joking about where vampires technically live. Yeah, you’re something else, man,” Bucky laughed. “And I think you’re beautiful, which people always appreciate in people they hang around with.”

Sam rolled his eyes and ignored the last comment, thankful that his skin was dark enough to hide his blush and Bucky couldn’t see the swooping of his stomach. “Well, if you think that’s impressive, I’ve got a whole list of things I think are propaganda.”

“I’d love to hear all about it some other time.”

“Is your friend here?” Sam asked, sitting back a little and glancing around.

Bucky’s eyes cast around the mausoleum briefly too. “No. I just don’t feel like listening to any propaganda tonight,” he joked.

Sam jostled his elbow into Bucky’s rib and leaned back against his side. “I can’t remember the last time I actually talked to someone in one of these things. Everything’s always so surface level here. ‘Sorry for your loss’ ‘He was a good man’ ‘Of course we’ll come by the benefit.’ None of it means anything.”

“Well, I wasn’t part of the funeral, so maybe that was a plus. I’m just some guy. Hanging out in a mausoleum.”

“Ah, you’re the vampire,” Sam said with a grin. “Maybe I should get a stake in that casket.”

“There’s no body in it,” Bucky reminded him. “They never found Rogers’ or Barnes’ body.”

“Right, right. The train and plane.”

“It’s just for show,” Bucky said. He reached out to trace his fingers along Barnes’ last name and then held his palm against the stone for a second longer.

Sam put his hand on Bucky’s knee and said quickly, like ripping a bandaid off, “Do you want to get lunch or something? With me? Now, or later. I’m not picky. And then maybe again?”

Bucky turned blue eyes back to Sam and he really did look just like all those old pictures. That same sad smile came to his mouth. “Yeah, I really, really do. Maybe later,” he said and leaned over to kiss Sam’s cheek softly.

Sam’s eyes fluttered shut and his heart kicked up so rapidly in his chest it punched the air out of his ribs.

When he managed to open his eyes again, Bucky was gone.

#sambuckyhalloween2021 #sambucky #sambucky fanfic #sambucky fanfiction #sam wilson #bucky barnes #the falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon #the winter soldier #captain america #writing #bingo #sambucky halloween

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momentsofbllove · 4 years ago

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A year of BL Love

I discovered BL for the first time this year, and boy what a year it was! I wanted to write up a quick and simple review of the shows that I watched just to finish off the year. So here goes! (Spoilers EVERYWHERE. So... be careful.)

Shows that I loved, will definitely rewatch in the future, and will skip very little of when I do:

The Untamed - beautiful story, beautiful production, all around worth every second of the 50 episodes. technically not a BL because of censorship, but still managed to portray the most beautiful love story I watched all year. Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan deserve every second of the acclaim and praise they have received for this masterpiece! 10/10

Until We Meet Again - I love every couple in this series with all my heart! a lot of people felt it was slow but I honestly just thought it was a beautiful story full of love and heartache and friendship and just... uhg, everything. I will rewatch this one again and again and again. 10/10

Like In The Movies - this one was heartbreaking and hopeful and beautiful and tragic and sweet and just altogether perfect in every way. I need the sequel right now immediately please! 10/10

He’s Coming To Me - this one was so good?!! I don’t know how a show about a love story between a ghost that was murdered 20 years ago and a university student could be so perfect, but it was? the only thing that was a little iffy was the previous relationship between Met and Thun’s mom. this one is sweet and sad (Met is dead afterall) and has love and mystery and good side characters and friendships. yeah. just altogether great. 9/10

HIStory 3: Trapped - fascinating story (I want so many more BL’s that AREN’T set in high school/university please!) and great chemistry between both couples. the acting was fantastic and the storyline was compelling. I truly love this show except for the fact that we’re not getting that sequel they were hinting at and that makes me SAD because it makes the ending hurt so much even if it was a hopeful one. 9/10

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - cute story, amazing actors, wonderful side characters, just all around great! the only reason it’s not getting a perfect score is because I feel very OLD when watching highschool storylines. it makes the intimate scenes... awkward. even if the actors are adults. 9/10

Where Your Eyes Linger - loved the storyline, loved the chemistry and dynamics of the couple, the ending was rushed and left me wanting so much more, but since it was one of the first Korean BL’s to ever be produced it was wonderful. 8/10

Cherry Magic - I love Adachi and Kurosawa with all my heart! this show was so good. so so good! the only reason I’m not giving it a higher rating is because Tsuge and Minato’s storyline gives me so much secondhand embarrassment ALL THE TIME! but they’re still so cute despite that, so it’s not horrible. Rokkaku and Fujisaki are SO CUTE and the perfect side characters. basically this show is perfect (except for the second hand embarrassment) and the fact that we never got a proper kiss. like... I don’t need skinship in every BL show I watch, but that last second cutaway in the end was just... frustrating. 8/10

Theory of Love - OffGun have my whole heart and are 80% of the reason I love this show so much. but also I really liked the story line and the way Third and Kai’s relationship progressed throughout the show. it had a perfect resolution for all the couples (including the teacher/student ‘couple’ which I usually HATE) and was definitely a stand out from all the multitude of ‘university’ shows out there. 8/10

3 Will Be Free - this was was so interesting and lovely and tragic and I loved every single second of it... up until the last ten minutes. I almost put it lower just because of the ending. we deserved a happy, loving bisexual polyship d*mn it! but I’ll definitely rewatch it again. and stop right before the end when I do. 8/10

Because of You 2020 - ridiculous nonsense that I will gladly watch again! really there is no justifying this one being in my top list because it is NONSENSE but it makes me happy and that’s all that matters. all three couples are adorable and the last scene makes me smile so much! 8/10

Shows that I liked and will probably watch again, but will be skipping a lot of parts when I do:

My Engineer - this show should be in my top list. but I HATE BohnDuen so much. so so much. and they are the main couple. so because of them when I rewatch this show (which I have several times now) I have to skip 60% of it because I really really hate them. so much. but the other three couples make up for it - especially RamKing who GIVE ME LIFE - so it’s at the top of my ‘not the top’ list. 7/10

Mr. Heart - this one was cute, but I felt like the couple was very... lop-sided. Sang Ha was almost obsessed with Jin Won before they ever even properly met and that gave me a weird feeling. their relationship was cute by the end, but... idk. and the whole side story with Sang Ha and the debt collectors was... odd. I felt like it was a very serious storyline that they did not take seriously at all. very off-putting. but altogether the show was cute enough, and short enough, to deserve a rewatch. 6/10

Why R U - I just... did not like SaifahZon. like... at all. Zon’s character annoyed me, their dynamic was... off, and Zon’s sister makes me so mad I can’t watch her at all. I adore FighterTutor (they are one of my favorite couples which is why this show is still getting such a high rating) and I have rewatched their part of the show 3 times now. but the rest, including the THREE other side couples (seriously? 5 couples in one show? why? it’s too f*cking much!)... no. no thank you. 6/10

Roommates The Series - it was cute, and did very well on a VERY low budget and a very limited cast because they filmed during the pandemic (or after the worst of it was over in their country at least). the side female characters were great (a rarity in BL’s for sure!) and there was a few really great scenes that I loved. altogether a bit of a lackluster show compared to others, but definitely worth at least one watch. 6/10

Tharntype - I know how problematic this show is, alright? but it’s fictional, and sometimes people like things in their fictional stories that they HATE in real life... all the very serious consent issues for one. that being said, if I had been watching the show as it aired I probably would have given up on it by, like, episode 2. as it was I knew everything that happened before I ever started watching and that gave me the freedom to appreciate the storyline for what it would become at the end. I love MewGulf and the way they portrayed Tharn and Type. I thought Tar’s storyline was interesting and heartbreaking and he is a precious bean that I want to protect with all my heart. however, a big factor in this series not making it into my top list is the handling of Lhong and the ending of his story. you want me to feel sorry for that monster? are you kidding me?!! he should have been locked up in prison for the rest of his life, not had Tharn’s brother come APOLOGIZE to him as if he was the one who was wronged. if that hadn’t happened, despite all the problematic things in this show, I would probably have put this in my top list. 6/10

Wish You - this one had SO MUCH POTENTIEL. the storyline was unique, the ‘twist’ reveal was interesting, and the main characters had a lot of chemistry. and everything was RUSHED RUSHED RUSHED! this show needed at LEAST 5-6 more episodes. there was no time to develop the relationship between In Soo and Sang Yi, and I wanted them to so badly! there was no time to deal with the ‘twist’ and the fallout that happened from it. everything just happened and then you moved on, and then more things happened and you moved on. uhg. despite all that I’m putting this one a little higher because the actors, writing, and production value were very good. but gosh do I wish there was so much more of it. the wasted potential is painful. 6/10

The Effect - wow. this one was... not what I was expecting. be cautious of watching this because it could be VERY triggering. but the acting was PHENOMENAL! I think they took a very dark and serious subject and portrayed it with a lot of care. one of the best things about it was Shin’s friends reaction to his trauma and how carefully and kindly they helped him heal. beautiful to watch! the only reason this is not getting a higher rating is because that ending was INFURIATING! absolutely unforgivable for them to leave it so ambiguous like that. Shin deserved to have a clear and obvious happy ending. not... whatever the hell that was. 6/10

Love By Chance - AePete are precious and adorable and I love them. But Ae’s possessiveness in the later episodes really bothers me, the fact that Perth was 17 when they were filming really bothers me, and once AePete get together halfway through the show it’s like they just get dropped to focus on TinCan which is a couple I can’t stand even a little. and don’t even get me STARTED on Techno and Kengkla. just... just don’t. that whole ‘relationship’ is 85% of the reason I refuse to watch the sequel. altogether, I probably WON’T watch this one again, but I probably would at least have watched the AePete and TumTar (yes, I liked them leave me alone about it) storylines if Perth wasn’t so young, so I’m still giving it a 5/10

Together With Me - MaxTul are fire both on and off screen and I love them with all my heart, but I hated, like, 95% of the show that wasn’t strictly about them. teacher/student storyline? gross. couple with a huge age-gap that ends up being super toxic and emotionally destroying a sweet and lovely character? thanks, I HATE IT. yet another BL portraying the girlfriend as a conniving b*tch so that we’re okay with one half of the main couple being a cheater while they figure out their sexuality crisis? ew ew and more ew. honestly if it wasn’t for the fact that they had two fantastic side female characters (again, such a rarity in BL’s!) and the pure intense chemistry between KornKnock this show probably would have been put even lower. 5/10

Dark Blue Kiss - I can’t stand PeteKao? like... why do so many people love them so much? Pete is SO JEALOUS ALL THE TIME! I just want to smack him! and he’s also completely not understanding of Kao’s fear of coming out. he basically spent the entire show sabotaging his own relationship and then blaming it all on Kao! uhg. no. just no. but I love SunMork with all my heart and wanted them to have so much more development and screen time. it would have made the final scene with them so much better if they had just had TIME to really show their relationship and how it grew, instead of just getting them together and deciding that was good enough. I’ll watch their part again I’m sure, but only their part. 5/10

Shows that were very subpar - I may rewatch some of these for a specific couple but only if I’m really bored and feel like skipping 80% of the show:

#MyDay - I know there’s a lot of people that really like this one. but... oof. the writing was so bad. so so bad! the pacing of the show was weird, there were some major moments that needed a LOT more attention, and some minor moments that got way more screen time than they needed. things were just... awkward all the time when they weren’t meant to be. and again, we have a character that needed to go TO PRISON but ended up being forgiven in the end. just... no. I’m honestly only putting this show as high as I am because the chemistry between Ace and Sky was fantastic. but that wasn’t enough to save this trainwreck. I might watch the sequel for them. maybe. but also maybe not. 4/10

Quaranthings - this one had so much potential but was honestly just so subpar in the end. I really just don’t even have much to say about it. it’s worth watching, I guess. but put it at the bottom of your list, after you’ve watched all the better stuff. 4/10

YYY (and the 3 special eps) - look... weird shows are just not my thing. I love Lay and his portrayal of Punn, Nott was okay as the lead character, but the side characters and storylines were... bizarre. I get that it was supposed to be a parody of other BL’s and their tropes... but honestly I like tropes. and this show was just... too bizarre. especially the three special episodes. in fact... I’m just now remembering I never watched the 3rd one. oops. 4/10

En of Love - This was such a mix and match of good and bad. I didn’t like Tossara AT ALL. Gun pressured Bar into that relationship, including flat out blackmailing him with his necklace to force him to go out with him! they may have been happy in the end, but Bar was CLEARLY uncomfortable with Gun’s advances for most of the first three episodes and it really grossed me out. I kind of liked Mark and Vee together, but the issue with Mark’s girlfriend was frustrating and their whole relationship was just a little bit toxic. and I actually liked Neua and Pra-Ram... AFTER they let us know that Pra-Ram was a legal adult. I hated their relationship up until they had the birthday party because I thought Pra was 17. I’m still a little iffy about a very experienced third year student in university dating a very inexperienced high school student. but at least it wasn’t ILLEGAL. oof. 4/10

HIStory 1: Obsessed/Stay Away from Me/My Hero - My Hero and Stay Away From Me were cute enough although I’ll probably never rewatch them, but Obsessed was toxic and horrible and gross in all senses of the word. -4 for that one which puts the whole series at a 3/10

Tien Bromance - y’all this one is... I don’t even know how to describe it. weird. bizarre. confusing. badly written. strangely acted. (the acting wasn’t bad... it was just... strange.) I watched the special episodes first and thought it was just a cute little domestic family drama with some strange moments. then I watched the rest. and the fact that the first episode started off with a ghost possessing and killing like 8 people while they were on vacation at a lake was the least weird thing that happened. 3/10

Craving You - no. the storyline makes no sense. why are a popular cake baker and an upcoming musician partnering together? why? it doesn’t make any sense! And one of the lead actors is just SO BLAND. I think he was going for ‘quiet and sad’ but just ended up with ‘emotionless and boring’. the most compelling part of the show was the side character dealing with the unexplored feelings that he had for his first love that were denied to him by a homophobic family and how those feelings are now interfering with his current relationship. the rest was pointless and bland. 3/10

My Gear and Your Gown - I liked this one SO MUCH for the first 3-4 episodes. then is went downhill and FAST. Pai and Itt had no chemistry for the last 8 episodes. they spend the whole show angry at each other and then we’re just supposed to accept them getting together in the end because Itt confessed his feelings. like... that’s not enough! the best part of the show was PureFolk. Pure finally believing in love again because he met the ray of sunshine and sweetness that is Folk? yes please! but even their storyline was not fantastic because it got rushed and pushed aside in the end to focus on Pai and Itt breaking up AGAIN and having to deal with the issue of homophobic parents for all of one episode. the last episode was so pointless! there was no reason to shoehorn in that last little bit of drama. none. 3/10

Oxygen - uhg. I do not understand why so many people liked this one so much. Solo’s feelings for Gui were UNHEALTHY. he became obsessed with him over one tiny act of kindness! that’s... that’s not love. that is a broken young boy desperately seeking out love and forcing it onto someone because he doesn’t know what it’s supposed to be like. and the side story with the fujoshi barista and her brother and the doctors was creepy and weird. the only good part of this show was PhuKao but they got about 3 minutes of screen time per episode. I would watch a sequel with them in a heart beat, but leave everyone else out of it! 2/10

Shows I’m currently watching but haven’t finished airing yet so my rating may change:

Manner of Death - this show is EVERYTHING! the murder mystery, the suspense, the suspicion, the CHEMISTRY! I have no idea what’s going on or who I trust or don’t trust (except for Dr. Bunn and Sorn, they are precious rays of sunshine!) but I love every second of it. MaxTul are FIRE and I am so so happy to get to watch them in a story like this! 10/10

Ingredients - this show is EVERYTHING! and yes, I just said that about MoD, but this one is on the complete opposite side of the ‘everything’ spectrum and I love it with all my heart. Win and Tops are SO. FREAKING. CUTE! their pining for each other for eighteen d*mn episodes was so beautiful and sweet and infuriating! their love for each other as friends above all else is precious and perfect! and now that they’re actually together my heart just bursts every time I see them. I think the series only has 1 or 2 episodes left and I am DEVESTATED because I want 20 more! 10/10

TonhonChonlatee - I watched the first two episodes then stopped. I’ve been ‘watching’ the rest via people’s reactions to new episodes online. I get that Tonhon’s homophobia and toxic masculinity is supposed to be awful and is a major plot point in the show... but I don’t want to f*cking WATCH it! I’m hoping we’re getting to a point in the show where he’s calming the f*ck down and starting to learn better and BE better. I want to watch this show. but I can’t watch THAT. 3/10

Color Rush - this one has started off fantastically! the story is interesting and the characters are compelling already. but... I can tell you right now that it’s going to go the way of all the other Korean BL’s that came out this year. it’s not going to have enough time. AT ALL. it’s going to be rushed, I just know it. I applaud Korea for getting into BL’s in the first place and for giving us such interesting storylines and characters to watch, but these 10 minute, 8 episode shows are KILLING me with want of better development! 7/10

Well dang! That was... a lot! lol! Sorry for making such a long post, but BL’s have been such a huge part of my life this year I really just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings about everything out. I was originally going to make a part of the post be about my favorite (and not favorite) couples, but I’m going to end this here and put the couples in their own post.

My ask box is always open to discuss any and all shows on this list. You agree with my faves and want someone to talk to about them, hit me up! You disagree with my not-faves and want to tell me why... let me hear your opinion. You have suggestions for shows that I definitely should have watched by now but have somehow looked over... give them to me! I’ve got a whole new year to fill with beautiful couples and interesting stories!

#bl drama #bl dramas #thai bl #korean bl #pinoy bl #taiwan bl #asianlgbtqdramas #asian dramas #long post #sorry... sort of

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thefilmsimps · 3 years ago

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Candyman (1992) (dir. Bernard Rose)

-Jere Pilapil-

I wonder if I ever would have viewed Candyman through the lens of gentrification and racial divides, if not for the new 2021 Candyman creating opportunity for every movie website to run a thinkpiece about how the original is a commentary on those subjects. Certainly, if I’d bothered to watch Candyman any time in the last 10 years, I would have caught on. But, if I were of age when it came out, maybe I wouldn’t.

Between its release and its, uh, most-hyped sequel? Reboot? Whatever. I have seen Candyman. But it was probably when I was a teen indiscriminately watching R-rated movies on HBO/Cinemax/Starz hoping to see boobs (the internet was much slower than this game of chance back then). So I can’t say I read the subtext at the time. I mostly remembered that it was a really scary movie because bees scared me like crazy for years. So, I’m not marking this as a “rewatch” on here on a technicality. (There are boobs but not enough to remember it for that.)

So with the new one out, I watched the original with fresh eyes, and I can’t help but feel this movie is underrated. Horror seemed to suffer a bit in the 90s compared to the 70s and 80s, and I’m having trouble thinking of what the consensus best one for that decade might be. Scream? It’s gotta be Scream, right? This one is right up there. The set design and cinematography is perfect, with the innards of Chicago’s Cabrini Green (filmed from the outside but assembled as a set elsewhere) feeling like a labyrinth of murals, contrasting with the floor to ceiling windows of the protagonist’s high rise apartment.

That protagonist is Helen Lyle, played by Virginia Madsen. She’s a grad student researching urban myths and decides to investigate some murders resembling those told in the legend of the Candyman, a killer who appears after victims say his name five times in a mirror. The movie smartly makes her as privileged as possible - that apartment, married to a professor - so that, even with her good intentions, she may rub audiences the wrong way as she treats the residents of Cabrini Green as research subjects. They distrust her, rightly, because her meddling can only mean trouble. You could argue she kept poking the bee hives despite the growing buzzing.

I’ve read some argument from over the years that a story about gentrification, about the haves invading the space of the have-nots, shouldn’t be told from the perspective of a privileged white woman, but this misses the point. This movie is effective horror because it’s from her perspective. A gentrification story from the perspective of the ones being pushed out is a human drama. This one’s about how a person with good (well, ok, neutral) intentions can unleash horror upon innocent people and themselves. The only thing scarier than a ghost, or a murderer with a hook for a hand, or any of the terrible things that happen to Helen (and there are many) is the fact that she kind of brought it on herself, even if by accident.

On a last night, the importance of bees to our ecosystem (and the shrinking bee populations) weren’t quite a concern for 1992, but scientists/environmental activists have done a great job making the public more aware of it beyond a “bees spread pollen, pollen makes flowers, yay!” understanding. I’m sure an incredible thinkpiece could be done about Candyman and bees. You could probably dig into how Candyman himself - the memory of a racist, criminal history - is as important to the present as bees are to the environment, or something. Not me, though. Candyman and bees are too scary.

8.5/10

#90s horror #horror #candyman #retro #movie review

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agentnico · 5 years ago

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Top 20 Best Movies of the Decade (2010′s)

Now that we have entered the 2020s, it’s time to look back on a decade of movie magic. To emphasise the importance of each year, I’ll balance things out by including two films from each year for my Top 20 list. I’ve tried to pick films that both defined this decade as well as appealed to me personally, so my list will of course, as always, be different from yours, but hopefully, I won’t totally irritate you with my humble choice, which I deem worthy to post online for the public eye to witness.

2010:

INCEPTION - “You’re waiting for a train...” Christopher Nolan unarguably is the most exciting and original directors working today. Each time he releases a movie, its an event. A literal must-see at the cinema. Which is why this isn’t the only film of his you will find on this list. With Inception, Nolan gives us a movie that is both enjoyable and imaginative, rewarding the audience for the attention that it demands. Filled with so much detail that if you miss certain shots, you will completely get lost in confusion of the narrative (as confusing as it already is). It’s intense and complex, with great performances from the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy, this movie will leave you lingering for more even after that mysterious ending.

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD - “You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity!” Once again, another exciting director on this list (oh there are so so many!). Ever since Edgar Wright emerged from the British isles, he’s given us some of the funniest films of the past decade and onwards. His Cornetto Trilogy is a blast, Baby Driver is a blast, Ant-Man was going to be even more of a blast if Marvel allowed Wright to do his magical shenanigans his way, and the upcoming Last Night in Soho will surely be a blast also. With Scott Pilgrim vs. The World Wright creates a meta-clever universe taking inspiration from comic books and video games and filled to the brink with wink-wink-nudge-nudge humour, this is an exciting and very sarcastic over the top endeavor. Also, Brie Larson in this movie.....phew!! And unsurprisingly, its all a blast!

2011:

DRIVE - “I just wanted you to know, just getting to be around you, that was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Drive is more of an elegant exercise in style, and its emotions may be hidden but they run deep. A shamelessly disreputable, stylish, stoic, ultra-violent thriller with amazing stunt work, one of the best opening sequences of any movie this decade and a neon-pumped soundtrack that’s a must-own for all vinyl users, if you still haven’t seen Drive, there’s only one thing you can do. Clue: it’s to go watch Drive.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL - “Your mission, should you choose to accept it...” Tom Cruise’s deal with the devil allows him to do some literally impossible stuff, and though I don’t condone his Scientology ways, the man’s stunt work and efforts in his area of expertise are worth all the praise and respect. To be honest, I’m commemorating all three of the Mission Impossible flicks that graced our screen this year (Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation and Fallout). This franchise is like a game of dodgeball, except that Tom Cruise is the dodgeBALL, being thrown and thrust left and right like nobody cares. Also, with me being Russian, the fact that a movie manages to destroy the Kremlin and then have me not hate the film in the aftermath shows that this film is way too fun to hate.

2012:

DJANGO UNCHAINED - “Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.” Quentin Tarantino is one of my favourite directors working today. And Django Unchained happens to be my favourite film of his. The writing for this film is orgasmic (I went there!). The way the actors deliver the lines and the lines of dialogue themselves sound almost poetic to my ears. I can quote so many lines from this darn thing. The cinematography is immaculate. The soundtrack choice is great. The performances, my goodness, the PERFORMANCES!! Jamie Foxx does arguably his career-best work here, but also we have Christoph Waltz and Leonardo DiCaprio both chewing up the scenery, and I’m sure everyone has heard the story involving DiCaprio and the broken glass. Django Unchained is an easy choice on this list for me, and possibly in my Top 10 of all time.

LES MISERABLES - “Do you hear the people sing?” The film that is based on a musical that is based on a book that is based on certain true events. Tom Hooper did an interesting choice of having actors sing live in front of the camera during filming rather than pre-record their voices, and it works to grand effect, though Russell Crowe should have probably been given more singing lessons. The movie is one hell of a way to adapt such a popular stage musical. With an opening shot that emphasises the scale of this picture with a zoom-in towards this big ship during a storm being pulled by these poor prisoners, we are plunged into the despair and conflicts of various characters with adroit narrative thrust so that not a moment feels wasted or redundant. You’d think that a film with hardly any dialogue and an overall reliance on singing wouldn’t be so emotional. Yet, somehow, it works. Also props to Anne Hathaway for winning an Academy Award for being in a film for only 5 MINUTES!!

2013:

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET - “Sell me this pen.” Martin Scorsese’s mad look into Wall Street life is a bombastic caper and running at nearly 3 hours, Scorsese and his editing team manage to keep an astoundingly intoxicating pace that keeps you enthralled and engaged throughout. This one is definitely not for the families, as this R-rated fest is filled with drugs, money, sex and everything you can possibly imagine and paints quite the picture of the rich folks of Wall Street. And the middle of it all a bravura performance from Leonardo DiCaprio. Someone needs to give DiCaprio’s agent a raise, this is Leo’s third appearance on this list and we’re only in 2013!

THE WAY WAY BACK - “I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're having way too much fun, it's making everyone uncomfortable.” Sometimes a little indie flick is enough to lift a human spirit. Real, fun, uplifting and innocent, The Way Way Back dedicated to anyone who felt awkward or out of place at some point in their life, which, let’s be honest, counts all of us. I’m not afraid to admit that. So stop being a b*** and reveal your sensitive side too! Yes, you, the person reading this. Who else could I possibly be talking to? Myself? Maybe. The Way Way Back though is one of the best feel-good indie films of this decade, with the loveable Steve Carell acting very unloveable and Sam Rockwell Rockwelling himself to charm city! If you’ve missed this one, treat yo’self and check it out.

2014:

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL - “And?? Where is it? What's it all about dammit don't keep us in suspense this has been a complete f***ing nightmare! Just tell us what the f*** is going on!!!” Easily Wes Anderson’s best in my opinion (I have a friend who would argue Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums has the better hand but I think my opinion is more valid because it's me), this movie is a glossy, colorful, whimsical deadpan affair with an energetic turn from Ralph Fiennes as the hotel concierge M. Gustave H. as he and his lobby boy run into various Wes Anderson regulars and deal with murderers, stolen paintings, love affairs, prison breaks, and all kinds of crazy shindigs, but all shown in such a casual Wes Anderson way. This movie is like a slice of cherry pie - damn fine!

INTERSTELLAR - “Murphy’s Law doesn’t mean that something bad will happen. It means that whatever can happen, will happen.” As promised, Christopher Nolan makes another appearance on this list, now with his space time-traveling epic Interstellar, where he takes inspiration from the likes of Kubrick and Tarkovsky to give us, as always, a tad bit confusing adventure with great visuals and an interesting narrative (though it does sometimes get lost in its own way), however, the key thing holding this piece together is the father-daughter relationship with Matthew McConaughey and Mackenzie Foy (and Jessica Chastain) managing to bring so much raw emotion to their respective roles that you can’t help but want to shed a tear. I mean, I haven’t cried for over 14 years, but I remember when I first watched this film, the audience around me was sobbing quite a few times during the duration of this movie. Give it to Nolan to give us the emotional moments!

2015:

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD - “Oh what a day! What a lovely day!!” Easily the best action movie of this decade. Sorry John Wick, neither you or Tom Cruise could defeat this beast. The sheer, limitless invention behind this movie's exhilarating, preposterous chase scenes highlights action filmmaking at its finest. With big monster trucks and a random guitarist rocking-it in the middle of all the action, it’s like a nihilistic version of a Cirque du Soleil show! And it makes Tom Hardy the calmest person on-screen; no idea how it managed that.

STEVE JOBS - “I sat in a garage and invented the future because artists lead and hacks ask for show of hands.” If there is anyone who can make formulaic, mathematical or technological sound fun and exciting, its Aaron Sorkin. The man has a talent for writing screenplays about difficult and complicated topics yet turning them approachable for the casual moviegoer. Pair him with director Danny Boyle, and the result is Steve Jobs, a look at the man behind the phone. Narratively set during three important product launches of Jobs’, we get to see the behind-the-scenes of his relationships with his colleagues and family members, and this character study is one that could have easily fallen into generic biopic tropes, but it holds it’s own right till the credits roll. Also props for showing that Seth Rogen can actually do a serious role. Who would’ve thought that pot-smoking fella had dramatic chops in him?

2016:

NOCTURNAL ANIMALS - “Susan, enjoy the absurdity of our world. It’s a lot less painful. Believe me, our world is a lot less painful than the real world.” Fashion designer Tom Ford does sew his suits well. Apparently, he can also make great films too, with 2009′s A Single Man and with said Nocturnal Animals. This movie is truly incredible and I remember it taking me and my friend by surprise when we first watched it at the cinema. It’s shocking. Horrifying. Depressing. Upsetting. Altogether exhilarating. Being of a fashion background, Tom Ford directs the hell out of this movie, with gorgeous shots and great use of colour as well as managing to masterfully create tension and suspense when necessary. Honestly, I know Tom Ford is probably busy at a department store somewhere, but the guy needs to make another movie. The man has a talent.

LA LA LAND - “Here’s to the ones who dream, foolish as they may seem. Here’s to the hearts that ache; here’s to the mess we make.” Oh, La La Land. Damien Chazelle’s follow-up to the also excellent Whiplash. People who know me well know how much I love this movie. An old-school tour-de-force musical that’s a love letter to jazz and the golden age of Hollywood. The city of stars never looked so good. Featuring catchy original songs, excellent dance choreography (the sequence to the song “Lovely Night” is especially memorable) and a romance tale ten times better than the forsaken The Notebook, La La Land is one special movie. I know many are put off by the film’s not so happy ending, however for me it was the only way this narrative could have ended.

2017:

BLADE RUNNER 2049 - “We’re all just looking out for something real.” Similarly to Nolan, Denis Villeneuve is proving to be one of the most exciting directors working today. He’s the man behind such films as *deep breath* Prisoners, Enemy, Sicario, Arrival and Blade Runner 2049. And those have all been done within the last decade. The man constantly makes quality movies of various genres, though lately, he has been leaning more towards science fiction, which is a-okay in my books, since as Blade Runner 2049 proves, he can turn science into fiction like butter on bread. A sequel made 30 years after Ridley Scott’s classic, this visually breathtaking piece is arguably even better than its predecessor with many moments giving you the “wow wow wow wow wow WOW!” factor, and when Ryan Gosling and Harrison Ford are both on-screen they are dynamite. Forget the new Star Wars film (that’s right, I'm throwing shade there), Blade Runner is where it’s at!

PHANTOM THREAD - “The tea is going out. The interruption is staying right here with me.” The supposed last Daniel Day-Lewis film, as he has now apparently retired from acting, but let’s be honest, nothing stops him from simply unretiring at any point. Exhibit A - Joe Pesci. However, like Pesci, if he comes back I’ll only be happy. He’s one of acting greats of our time, and his collaborations will director Paul Thomas Anderson bring out some of his best roles. Phantom Thread is a marvel of a movie. No, I don’t mean that’s its part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I mean as in it can fill one with wonder and astonishment. Phantom Thread is PTA’s Gothic dark fairy-tale romance film, which expertly planned shots and scenes where every word of the dialogue counts. There is no wasted moment. And as the film transpires to its dark and unsettling climax, one begins to realize that this, THIS, is what filmmaking is about. Telling an engrossing story in an interesting way with crisp-clear shots and off-the-chart acting at play, with great costume design on display, although the latter is unsurprising due to a major aspect of the movie revolving around fashion.

2018:

MANDY - “You ripped ma shirt!! You ripped maaa shiirrt!!” An acquired taste for sure, however, Mandy is indeed something truly special. From first glance, this film might seem like nothing out of the ordinary, especially from the point of view of the plot. Its the usual revenge flick. However director Panos Cosmatos’ vision and how he presents it is so much more unique. And what’s not love in this film? There’s something for everyone! It’s artsy and slow enough for the critics, hip and metal for the nonchalant, gory and violent for the hardcore genre fanatics and of course the Nic-Cage-rage factor is present for the fans of the actor. Alright, it may not be a family film, but this one is worth a watch. The whole thing is bound together by this psychedelic otherworldly environment, with the whole movie conceived in this dark, unsettlingly beautiful yet horror-filled aura that might stray people away, as it might be just too different for them, however, if you are looking for something different to watch, take mandy. I mean, watch Mandy!

A STAR IS BORN - “Music is essentially 12 notes between any octave. Twelve notes and the octave repeats. It’s the same story told over and over. All the artist can offer the world is how they see those 12 notes.” The film that began all the rumours surrounding Bradley Cooper’s and Lady Gaga’s affair. People, heads up, they are actors! They were putting on a performance! Jeez. That being said, I totally ship them. Nuff’ said. The film though? Yes, it’s good. Some country-style music, romance blooming, Gaga can apparently act, people sing about shallows for some reason...all together works for a pretty decent motion picture. Also, the fact that Bradley Cooper wrote, directed, produced and starred in this gives me so much respect for the guy. He poured his heart and soul into this. And Lady Gaga absolutely shines!

2019:

PAIN & GLORY - “Writing is like drawing but with letters.” Director Pedro Almodovar semi-autobiographical film takes a close look at how one deals with acceptance, being forgotten, symptoms of depression and generally all fairly negative attributes, but delivered in such an honest and profound way that there is a strange lightness that emerges from it all. Antonio Banderas is uncannily vulnerable in the lead role, delivering such an earnest performance that shows a man that is filled with melancholic regret who seeks his own form of redemption. This movie is a thing of beauty.

PARASITE - “You know what kind of plan never fails? No plan at all. If you make a plan, life never works out that way.” Parasite is easily the most original and surprising films of 2019, and possibly the decade, managing to subvert expectations and blend together so many different genres so naturally. To spoil any narrative element of this movie would be a sin, like this one in particular works best when not knowing anything about it. This movie comes to us from Bong Joon-Ho, a South Korean director behind such films as The Host, Memories of Murder, Okja, and Snowpiercer. It’s nice to see the awards ceremonies giving him the proper recognition finally. He deserves it.

That sums up my Top 20 Best Movies of the Decade list. Of course, there are so many other great films that came out in these 10 years, such as Whiplash, When Marnie Was There, Paterson, Silence, Kubo and the Two Strings, The Nice Guys...I can go on forever. Cinema is a constant ever-growing medium, and it is fascinating to see how it changes through the years, in some ways improving and in some parts not so much. In any case, I look forward towards a new decade of, hopefully, great movies, however, let’s be honest, for all these great films there’s always a Norm of the North, a Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse or frickin’ Cats. But let’s hope those will be kept to a minimum. In any case, bring on the 2020s!

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smokeybrandreviews · 3 years ago

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Smokey brand Select: Deck the Halls

I don’t know if you can tell by my blog, but i f*cking love Christmas. It’s my absolute favorite holiday of the year. I love t more than Thanksgiving, more than Halloween, even more than my f*cking birthday and that’s a lot because I'm kind of a f*cking narcissist. I love the festivities, the decorations, the music, the objective purity of the whole season. Christmas time is the one time of year that people decide collectively to suck less. Recently, with all of the stupid conservative boycotts and soapbox rants, that less is a little less than usually but still, it’s hard not to love the Christmas season. It’s so inspirational and has inspired some fantastic films. Here's a list of some of my favorites. A lot of these, the majority of them, probably aren’t “traditional” Christmas fare but i assure you that they are, indeed, Christmas films. To say otherwise would just be disrespectful.

10. Edward Scissorhands

Tim Burton is going to be all over this list, man. Edward Scissorhands came out during a time i was incredibly infatuated with the striking visuals of Burton. I’m an Eighties kid and he kind of had his coming out party during that decade. Almost all of those films he released back then are favorites of mine. I remember seeing Scissorhands as a young kid and being absolutely mesmerized by it’s beauty. As an adult, i appreciated the underlying messaging just as much.

9. A Christmas Story

You’ll shoot your eye out! I used to hate this movie, man. It was a staple in during my elementary school Christmas parties. I never paid attention to it because, as a kid, i hated anything that wasn’t a cartoon. One day i was sick at home and caught it offseason TNT. This thing played, like, every day for some reason. I heard it was a favorite of Ted Turner but that’s just rumor. Anyway, i watched it and completely fell in love with this earnest, absurd, flick. It’s a really good watch and deserves it’s title as a classic.

8. Home Alone

Home Alone was the very first Christmas flick i remembered actually loving for being a Christmas flick. Like, when the season starts and Mariah Carey hits the airwaves, Home Alone is what i thing about. It’s the very first film that i unequivocally associate with Santa season. It’s funny because it’s not that great a film but i still love it dearly. I think that’s more because of nostalgia, though. There are fr superior films in the honorable mentions which probably deserve this spot more but Home Alone makes me genuinely smile.

7. Die Hard

I mean, how can i not put this on the list? It’s a classic. One of the best action films ever made. One of the best performances Bruce Willis has ever given. Plus, it introduces the late, great, Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber. Now, my favorite of the lot is With a Vengeance but Die Hard would be nothing without this holly jolly first entry.

6. Scrooged

One of my favorite Christmas narratives is A Christmas Carol. Dickens was a prolific writer and, among his works, the story of Ebeneezer Scrooge’s crisis of conscious is my favorite. I almost always love it when ever it makes it to screen but, for my money, the best version of this story took the form of the Eighties classic, Scrooged. It’s so Eighties in all of the ways. I love the overall narrative, the changes made t fit it into a then modern setting, and those incredible practical effects. It’s a feast for the senses while hitting all the necessary Dickens notes. Also, this version of the Ghost of Christmas Future is a whole ass nightmare. Like, f*ck, dude!

5. Trading Places

I love this movie so much, just on it’s own merits as a film. It’s so good. Eddie Murphy is excellent in this film and Dan Akroyd is just as brilliant. Jamie Lee Curtis was incredibly hilarious, too. This was the second thing i had ever seen her in, after Halloween so, you know, going from that to this really caught my attention. Trading Places is a classic and should be seen by everyone.

4. Gremlins

Gremlins is just generally one of my favorite films. I love this f*cked up movie, man. It’s SO good and this version is the tone down one. The original vision for this movie was just an R rated murder fest. I mean, the one we got wasn’t a joke wither It’s the reason we have the PG-3 rating. SH*t is just that violent Now, juxtapose all of this little green monstrosity anarchy against a dreamy white Christmas and you have all the makings of worming your way into my heart. Honestly, i prefer the gremlin shenanigans from the sequel, Mohawk is my favorite, but Stripe definitely left an impression.

3. The Long Kiss Goodnight

I had a massive crush on Geena Davis when was young. Can’t tell you why, but i was absolutely infatuated with the chick after i saw her in The Fly remake. I followed her career afterwards. She dropped several gems along the way, Beetlejuice, Thelma and Louise, Earth Girls are Easy, A League of their Own, but my absolute favorite film of hers is definitely The Long Kiss Goodnight. This thing is peak Nineties action excess. Shane Black in his prime. Die Hard III but John McCLane is a hot ass amazon woman who can beat you to death with her mitts. It even has Sam Jackson as a smart-mouthed side kick! I love it!

2c. A Charlie Brown Christmas

I adore Charlie Brown. If Spider-Man, Godzilla, and Transformers are the foundations of my childhood, Snoopy is foundation adjacent. My Paternal grandma had all of the Peanuts films and i would watch them on repeat when we were forced to go over there. I say forced because she was kind of terrible and none of us really wanted to visit her ever but, when we did, and she wasn’t trying to exploit our labor or feed us rotten food, we did get to watch dope classic sh*t. She owned every Disney movie from the Renaissance and every Peanuts special on VHS. I hated visiting that woman but i loved those Charlie Brown adventures so kind of bittersweet memories.

2b. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

This one is associated with my other grandma, the one i actually liked. We used to sit down every year and watch this one together while sipping egg nog. Man, it’s hard for me to type this out. It breaks my heart remembering those times so I'm going to stop. I just really love How The Grinch Stole Christmas. It’s very, very, special to me.

2a. The Nutcracker

The Nutcracker is in the same situation as How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I have a lot of love for this thing, in ll forms, but the one i remember so vividly is the opera they used to show every season. My grandma really loved opera and orchestral music. I miss her.

1b. Batman Returns

I told you Burton was going to be all over this thing. Bro, how can this thing not be on the top of this list? Batman Returns left a real impression, man. Michelle Pfiefer’s Catwoman did things to me that would have reverberating effects through the rest of my life! She is, more than any other reason, why i have an unhealthy infatuation for crazy chicks. Also Nancy Downs but The Craft isn’t a Christmas movie. Outside of the way that patent leather catsuit ruined me for normal relationships, Batman Returns is just a force of f*cking nature. It’s Pure Tim Burton and i adore that man’s eye. He is one of my favorite creators and Batman is one of my favorite heroes. How can this thing not make my list? Batman Returns couldn’t take the number two spot, mostly because it jockeys for position with Nightmare pretty actively. I love them both so much, it’s hard to give the number one spot to either of them so, you know, split the difference.

1a. The Nightmare Before Christmas

This is Halloween! I remember being so hype about this movie. Nine year old Smokey was super into this film and that love carries through to this day. Every time it airs, i catch it or, at least, i used to when i had television. I saw this thing day one in theaters, made my mom buy the VHS, it was one of the very first DVDs i ever purchased with my own money, and was the third Blue ray i got after picking up my PS3. The wild thing is, it’s not just me either. Nightmare has become a pinnacle of the cultural zeitgeist. This thing is all over the place. People get tattoos of Jack. Halloween Town even made it into a few Kingdom Hearts games and it wasn’t even a Disney movie at first! It was banished to the subsidiary of Touchstone when it first released because the Mouse House didn’t believe in it! Talk about a miscalculations.

Honorable Mentions: Tokyo Godfathers, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Bad Santa, Elf, Carol, Anna and the Apocalypse

#Smokey brand Select #Christmas movies #Christmas #Tis the season #Happy Holidays

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queenofspades20 · 4 years ago

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Scream - 4

Here it is, the final chapter of Avengers AU of Scream for @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho spooky challenge. Sorry it took me so long. Major brain roadblock for the past few weeks. Once I got past the brain block, this was a lot of fun to write. Actually did a full Scream movie marathon today to get me motivated. Hope you enjoy the final installment (that is being posted as I watch Scream 4). :)

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Y/N Weathers; Avengers x Reader

Word count: just under 5.3k

Warnings: gore, murder; suspense, curse words, implied smut, angst

Chapter 4 – The Finale

Natasha and Wanda drove up to Thor and Loki’s house with the party already going on. They had decided to dress more casually for the party with Natasha in some jeans with a jacket and Wanda in a simple skirt and low-heeled boots. They could hear the music thumping. As they approached the front door, Thor opened it. “Good evening, ladies. Took you long enough to get here.”

“Well, we had to make an entrance,” Wanda said cheekily. She stepped into Thor’s waiting arms.

Thor looked at Natasha over Wanda’s head. “Clint is around here somewhere.”

Natasha felt a little nauseous. She was still upset with Clint for earlier but knew they needed to talk. She didn’t want things to end with him. Natasha looked at Thor and nodded. She made her way around the house, keeping an eye out for her boyfriend. Clint popped up in the kitchen, having a drink out of a blue plastic cup. They made eye contact and Natasha made her way over to him.

“Hey, Clint,” Natasha said softly.

“Hey, Nat. Can we talk about earlier? I don’t like how we left things.” Clint looked like a kicked puppy.

“Sure. Let’s find a room upstairs so we don’t get interrupted.”

Natasha and Clint went upstairs and found a room that wasn’t occupied. They sat on the bed and looked at each other. Natasha bit her lip. “I feel bad about everything that’s happened.”

“Nat. It’s not your fault you got attacked. I’m hurt you think I could ever do something like that.”

“Clint. You have to look at it from my point of view. I had just been attacked and you popped into the window almost immediately after the attacker disappeared. They didn’t find the person. How would you react if you were in my shoes?” Natasha was beginning to get angry. The police had cleared Clint of wrong-doing, but for Clint to not understand where she was coming from was beyond aggravating.

Clint started to open his mouth, but then decided to not say anything while he gathered his thoughts. He had already pissed Natasha off multiple times this week and he knew that if he further pissed her off, it would likely be the end of them. He sighed. He knew Natasha didn’t really think him capable of attacking her. He sighed. “Nat, you’re right. I wouldn’t know what to think.”

Natasha looked at Clint. “How do we get passed this?”

“I think we just need to remind ourselves that we’re both emotional about this, but that neither of us truly thinks that badly of the other.” Clint pulled Natasha into a hug. “We get passed this together. I still love you.”

Natasha looked up into Clint’s eyes. “I love you, too.” She put her arms around his neck and pulled him towards her. “I think I’m ready for us to take our relationship back to a rated R.”

Clint pulled back a little and stared into Natasha’s eyes. “Are you sure? We don’t have to do this.”

Natasha smiled and slid off her jacket. “I’m sure.” Clint and Natasha met again for a kiss.

Downstairs, Wanda, Thor, Loki, and a bunch of the partiers were lounging on the couches, watching horror movies. Friday the 13th was currently playing.

They were at the part where Kevin Bacon dies. As the arrow went through his throat on screen, Thor yelled out, “what a way to die!”

Wanda rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. “Thank you, Captain Obvious. I’m gonna get another drink.”

Thor, while staring at the movie, asked, “will you get me one too?”

Wanda just walked off, disgusted with her boyfriend. “What am I? A beer wench?” She made her way to the garage, where the fridge with all the beers was. The fridge was on the far side of the garage, away from the door the house. She left the door open and made her way over. As she was grabbing a few beers, she heard the door shut. Wanda whipped around and saw a figure standing there, wearing a black cloak with a white ghost face. “Oh, real original, Loki.” Wanda rolled her eyes. She walked up to the person. As she tried to walk past them, the figure moved to the right, blocking her path.

“Ha ha, Loki. Move. You know, Nat’s here. If she sees you dressed like this, she’s gonna flip.”

The figure shook their head “no.”

Wanda let out a light laugh. “Oh, I get it.” In a voice higher than her own, mimicking the voice of a cheesy horror movie girl, “oh, please Mr. Ghostface. Please don’t kill me. I want to make it to the sequel.” Wanda reached out to go around the person, when they grabbed her arm and pulled out a knife. They dragged the blade over Wanda’s arm, cutting her deeply.

“Ow! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Wanda yanked her arm away from the person, moving back into the garage. She took one of the bottles in her hand and threw it at the person. It broke with a loud crash, beer flying everywhere. The person moved forward and Wanda threw more of the beers, hitting them every time. With the last one, the person fell to the ground. Wanda looked around her, trying to find a way out that didn’t require her to go past the person, scared they would attack her again. She spotted a dog door at the bottom center of the garage door. She dove for the opening, praying she could get through. As she managed to get her shoulder and her head through the dog door, she felt the garage door start to rise. Wanda panicked and tried to remove her body, but she was stuck. The figure watched the door raising, Wanda’s body getting closer to the edge of the roof. Wanda struggled and screamed. As the door reached the edge, her body got caught in the door. There was a shower of sparks that filled the room. Wanda’s body went limp, dead.

Y/N and Sam were in their van, just outside the property of Thor and Loki’s house. “What do you think, Sam? An innocent man in jail, a killer on the loose. Tell me I’m dreaming.”

“You want to go live?”

“No,” Y/N said, shaking her head. “But wondering, has a cheesy tabloid reporter ever won a Pulitzer?”

Sam chuckled. “There’s a first time for everything.”

“Damn straight there is. So, I think we should go with a small camera in the house, see what we can get. I’m thinking someone in the school is the culprit.”

Sam reached onto a shelf in the van. “Here you go. This should do the trick. Just know, that there’s usually a delay between recording and the feed I get in here.”

“How much of a delay?” Y/N asked, taking the camera made to look like a book.

“Maybe 30 seconds.”

Y/N sighed. “Okay. I just gotta figure out how to get in there.”

There was a sound that came from behind Y/N. Deputy Barnes was standing there. “Good evening, Ms. Weathers. What are you doing here?”

“It’s nice night. I heard you can see the stars pretty well out here,” Y/N said, as she slipped the camera into her bag.

Bucky saw through the lame excuse. “It’s just a party, Ms. Weathers. There isn’t anything newsworthy going on here.”

“Well, you never know, Deputy Barnes. And you can call me Y/N.” Y/N smiled at Deputy Barnes.

“Well, I’ll call you Y/N if you call me Bucky,” Bucky said with a smirk.

“Bucky? Interesting name.”

“Nickname. My middle name is Buchannan. My sister, when she was little, liked to call me Bucky and it just stuck.”

“Well, I like it. It goes well with your boyish charm.” Y/N bit her lip, looking Bucky up and down. Sam tried hard to contain his laugh at his employer’s blatant attempts to get in with Bucky.

Bucky smiled. “Well, it’s to throw criminal off their tracks. They don’t suspect someone as cute as me to be able to figure out their criminal minds.”

Y/N laughed. “Cute, funny, and smart. You are the whole package, Bucky Barnes.”

Bucky looked back at the house. “I was going to go check on the party and then check on an abandoned car call, did you want to come with me? You can see that there’s nothing newsworthy going on.”

Y/N smiled and linked her arm through Bucky’s. “Lead the way, sir.”

Bucky and Y/N made their way to the house. The front door was wide open and music could be heard from inside. There were several students hanging around the house. As Y/N made her way around the living room, many of the students were telling her how much they loved the show. She slid the camera onto the television stand. Bucky looked around for his sister, but couldn’t see her or Natasha.

“Hey Thor, where’s Wanda?” Bucky asked.

Thor looked up from the couch. “She went to get a drink a minute ago.”

Bucky nodded and turned back to Y/N. “Did you still want to come with me to check out the car?”

“Of course.” Bucky and Y/N walked out of the house. Y/N started to move towards his police SUV, but Bucky put his hand on her arm. “Actually, I thought we’d walk. It’s a nice night and we have a flashlight.” Bucky turned it on and flashed it to his face, creating shadows. “You’re not scared, are you?”

Y/N smiled at him. “Not if you’re around.”

As they started walking, Bucky pointed up at the stars. “Do you know what that constellation is?”

Y/N looked up. “No. What is it?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I was asking you.”

Y/N let out a laugh and they continued to walk down the road.

Back at the house, Loki, Thor, and some of the stragglers from the party were watching Halloween. “When do we see Jamie Lee Curtis’s breasts?”

“You don’t see them until Trading Spaces 1983. Not until she started legit movies.”

One of the girls said, “You mean, not until she was able to afford a decent pair.”

Loki looked disgusted. “No. Jamie was always able to outsmart the killer because she was a virgin. It’s in the rules.”

Thor looked at his brother quizzically. “What rules?”

Loki looked at everyone in the room in disbelief. “The rules! The rules on how to survive a horror movie!” He grabbed the remote and paused the movie. He stood in front of the tv, looking at everyone.

“Rule Number 1: You can never have sex.” A chorus of boos filled the room. People started throwing popcorn at Loki. “I know! I know! I don’t make the rules. I’m just telling them to you! Rule Number 2: You can never drink or do drugs.” The room filled with cheers, as everyone held up their beers.

Loki held up his own in salute. “It’s an extension of Rule number 1. It relates to the sin factor. Now, and most important, rule number 3: Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say ‘I’ll be right back,’ because you won’t.”

Thor stood up and looked his brother straight in the eye. “I need another drink. Do you want one?”

“No, I’m good.” Loki nodded at his brother.

“Okay.” Thor held up his arms parallel to the floor. “I’ll be right back!” Thor said with a laugh. Everyone in the room started laughing. Thor left the room and Loki went back to his seat to resume the movie. As they were sitting there, the phone started to ring. Loki crawled over to it and answered. “Hello?”

After a brief conversation, Loki looked back at everyone. “Dean Fury is dead. Police found his body hanging from one of the goal posts on the football field.” The room erupted in chaos and the students ran out to their cars to go see the body.

Y/n and Bucky were walking down the road, towards where the abandoned car was supposed to be. They were just chatting, getting to know each other better. “I’m not crazy about being known as Bucky. It’s a way for this town to refuse to take me seriously.”

“Well, it’s better than Y/N Weathers. I sound like some cheat-rate meteorologist. Instead I’m some tabloid reporter that everyone loves to hate.”

“I think it’s pretty actually. You’re much prettier in person.”

“So, you watch my show?”

“Well, yeah. And getting to know you, you’re not that bad.”

Y/N laughed. “Well, thanks. I think.”

The sound of honking horns coming from the house made Bucky and Y/N turn around. The cars were coming very fast.

“They’re not slowing down, Bucky.”

Bucky held up his arms and yelled out, “Slow down!”

The cars continued their high rate of speed. Bucky grabbed Y/N and threw both their bodies to the side of the road, just as the cars began to pass them. They rolled down the hill. Y/N landed on her back and Bucky landed on top of her. He propped his body on his elbows and looked down at her.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked softly. Y/N had a small scrape on her forehead from the fall.

“I think so.” Y/N looked over and saw a vehicle. “Is that what you’re looking for?”

Bucky, staring longingly at Y/N, said, “all my life.”

Y/N smiled and huffed out a laugh. She put her hand on his jaw and turned his head towards the car. “Thank you. But I actually meant that.”

Bucky started, recognizing the car. “That’s Mr. Coulson’s car.”

“What’s it doing all the way out here?”

Bucky noted that the car didn’t seem to have any damage to it and he couldn’t tell how long it had been there. “I need to get back to the house and call this in. Are you okay to walk back yourself?” In case Mr. Coulson was the killer, he didn’t want Y/N to get hurt.

“Go. I can make it back on my own. Don’t worry, Bucky.”

Bucky nodded and ran back towards the house.

Natasha and Clint were putting their clothes back on. As Natasha grabbed a brush to fix her hair, she looked over at Clint. “So, who did you spend your one call on?”

“What?” Clint looked up from buttoning his shirt. “What are you talking about?”

“You know, when you get arrested, you get one phone call. So, who did you call?”

“My dad.”

Natasha paused while brushing her hair. “No, you didn’t. I was sitting there when Chief Stark called your dad.”

“When I tried, there wasn’t an answer,” Clint said with a shrug. “Do you still doubt me?”

“No! I was just thinking it would be a good way to throw people off your track if you had used your one call to call me. But if you were making the call in the middle of precinct, you wouldn’t have been able to disguise your voice without someone overhearing.” Natasha was looking at Clint.

Clint seemed to deflate. “True. I promise I’m not lying to you.”

Natasha moved over to Clint and hugged him. “I trust you. We wouldn’t have done what we just did if I didn’t.” She moved back a little and looked at Clint in the eyes. “Seriously, I was just curious. I’m not accusing you of anything. I know you would never attack me.” Clint hugged Natasha.

“I love you, Nat.”

The door suddenly slammed open and a person dressed in the Ghostface costume jumped in. Clint pushed Natasha out of the way as the figure tackled him. A knife could be seen. Natasha backed away, terrified. “Clint!”

The figure stabbed Clint in the right shoulder. Clint screamed out, “Nat! Run! They’re after you!”

Ghostface stood up and made their way towards Natasha. She ran through the adjoining bathroom and slammed the door shut. She turned the lock and moved away from the door. The door splintered and broke in with a strong kick from Ghostface. They ran towards Natasha, who had climbed through the window. She looked down and saw a boat with the cover just below the edge of the roof. It didn’t look to be much of a drop. She saw the news van just a bit away.

“Help me! Someone please help!” Natasha screamed out. She held on to the window sill as best she could. Ghostface appeared in the window and grabbed her arm. They tried to pull her back into the house. Natasha yanked her arm away and felt herself freefall backwards. The feeling of weightlessness consumed Natasha. She braced herself for impact and felt the tarp covering the boat hit her back. She felt the wind get knocked out of her and she rolled her body, falling to the ground. She looked up at the window she just fell from and didn’t see Ghostface there any longer. As her gaze moved down the building, she saw the body of Wanda hanging from the garage door.

“No!” Natasha put her hands to mouth to cover her sob. She backed away and made a break for the van, hoping someone was there and they could call for help. As she got to the van, she started banging on the window. “Open up! Please help me!”

The door flew open and Sam looked surprised at Natasha’s state. “What happened?”

“The killer’s inside the house!”

“What? I haven’t seen anything.” Sam gestured to the screen, which was showing the feed from the house.

Loki was sitting on the couch, watching the movie. He was unaware of the figure behind him. “No, Jamie. Look out.” Loki was just mumbling along with the movie. Ghostface moved closer to Loki and lifted up the knife, ready to stab.

As Sam and Natasha watched the screen, they saw the figure moving towards Loki. “Oh, no. Loki.” Natasha was terrified, watching her friend become the next victim.

Sam threw open the door and looked towards the house. The front door was wide open and it was quiet. “Shit. 30 second delay.”

“What?”

Sam looked back at the screen and saw Ghostface suddenly move away from Loki without stabbing him. Sam turned around just as Ghostface jumped in front of him. They raised the knife and stabbed Sam in the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Sam let out a scream of pain and terror and fell to the ground. Natasha moved through the van, trying to escape Ghostface. She climbed out the back of the van and took off running, going straight for Bucky’s patrol SUV. She got into the car and slammed the door shut, hitting the locks. Natasha picked up the radio transponder and called for help. “Someone, please, there’s a killer here. We need help. Someone please send help!”

She looked to her right and saw Ghostface standing next to the car, the keys dangling from their hand. Natasha’s eyes went wide and she looked around her. The locks suddenly popped open, signaling the car was now unlocked. Natasha quickly hit the locks again, looking around her for a weapon. She did not hear the trunk door opening and Ghostface making their way into the SUV. Natasha saw a flash of white in the rearview mirror and realized what was happening. She unlocked the door and threw it open. As she was running to the house, Bucky appeared in the doorway, stumbling.

“Bucky!”

“Natasha! Run!” Bucky yelled, as he fell to the ground, a knife deep in his left shoulder blade. Natasha ran up to him, checking his body. She couldn’t tell if he was breathing or not. She grabbed his gun from his hands, looking around her. As she backed into the house, Loki and Thor ran up the front walkway, frantic.

“Nat! I just saw Wanda’s body. There’s a killer here!” Thor yelled as he ran up.

“Nat! He’s the killer!” Loki said, pointing at his brother.

“I’m not the killer! You are!” Thor said, turning on his brother.

Natasha trained the gun on the two brothers. She looked between them, unable to figure out which one was telling the truth. As they yelled over each other, accusing the other of being the killer, Natasha made a decision. “Fuck you both!” she said, as she slammed the door shut, locking it. Loki could be heard screaming a few moments later.

Y/n made her way to her van, not a sound could be heard. ”Sam? Where are you?” She opened the front door of the van and sat in the driver seat. Y/N turned the van on, the windshield covered with a strange red hue. She turned on the wipers and realized the windshield was covered in blood. Y/N put the van into drive and started to go when there was a flash of black and white to her left. Ghostface reached in and started to grab at her. Y/N turned the wheel, trying to knock Ghostface off the side. She slammed on the breaks and then Sam’s body rolled down the front. Y/N let out a terrified scream and then threw an elbow into Ghostface’s face. They fell off the van. Y/N threw the van into reverse (she had no idea whether Sam was alive or not) and backed away. As she threw the van into drive, Ghostface popped back up and grabbed the wheel. The van careened towards a tree. Ghostface jumped off and Y/N stared in horror as the van drove straight into the tree. As it crashed, Y/N was knocked unconscious.

Natasha was in the house, looking for a phone, when she heard a noise from at the top of the stairs. Clint fell into the bannister, blood running down from the stab wound in his shoulder. Natasha ran up to him, wrapping her arm around his waist. “Clint! I was so scared they killed you,” she said as they made their way down the stairs. “I radioed for help but we need to call. I don’t know if they got the message.”

Clint looked at Natasha, who had some cuts and bruises from her encounters with Ghostface. “I think there’s a phone in the kitchen.”

Natasha nodded and they made their way to the kitchen. As they turned the corner, there stood Ghostface. “Hello, Natasha, Clint.”

The voice came out unmodulated. Clint’s eyes widened in horror. “Mom?”

Natasha looked between Ghostface and Clint. “Mrs. Barton? You did all this?”

The mask was ripped off and there stood Clint’s mother. She had a smug expression on her face. “Yes. But I certainly didn’t do it alone.”

At that moment, Thor came in, dragging Phil, who was tied up with duct tape over his mouth. “Surprise!”

Clint looked at his mother. “How could you? Why?”

Mrs. Barton looked a little bored. “Oh come on now, Clint. You should know why. Your little girlfriend’s tramp of a mother is the reason I left. She slept with your father and destroyed our marriage, so I had to destroy her and her family. It was so easy to frame Bruce Banner for her murder. She never gave up on her slut ways.”

Clint clenched his fist. He turned to Thor. “And you? What do you get out of this?”

Thor looked rather pleased with himself. “Well, I always had the urge to kill. I just needed someone to help me figure out how to get away with it.”

Mrs. Barton interjected. “I found Thor in a serial killer chatroom. He just needed a little bit of encouragement, the kind only a mother could provide.”

Thor looked at Mrs. Barton. “She was fantastic. I needed some encouragement. Living in this small town, graduating high school and then going to college here? I’m bigger than this place. I wanted a way out and Mrs. Barton was happy to help. We came up with a whole plan.”

Mrs. Barton smiled at her protégé. She walked over to Phil, slipping the voice modulator into his jacket pocket. “It was easy to get to your father. He traveled a lot for work and didn’t interact much with people in town, so he didn’t remember me. On one of his trips, I posed as a violinist to get his interest. It was pretty easy to get information out about you. You know, he’s really quite proud of you. Too bad he’s going down for all of this.”

Natasha looked at her father’s terrified eyes. She tried to convey that everything would be alright, while trying to come up with a plan to take care of Thor and Mrs. Barton. Clint tightened his grip on Natasha. “I didn’t even know she was back,” he mumbled morosely.

Natasha looked over at him. She held onto him a bit tighter. Suddenly, Loki popped in with a bat and hit Thor in the back of the head. “Fuck you, brother! This has been a long time coming!”

Thor fell to the ground, still conscious, but dazed. Natasha pointed the gun towards Mrs. Barton. “You’re never getting away with this.”

“Oh please. No one knows I’m back in town. I’ve been going by a different name for quite some time and anyone your father has talked to about me doesn’t know my real name. Good luck finding someone that doesn’t exist.”

Thor, slowly coming to his senses, grabbed the knife that he had dropped when Loki hit him with the baseball bat. He swung around and stabbed Loki in the side.

“No!” Natasha screamed out. “Loki!”

Thor laughed darkly at his brother. “I think that was overdue.”

Loki coughed, the pain in his side unbearable. “What, are you going to say the movies made you psycho?”

“Oh brother. Movies don’t make psychos. Movies make psychos more creative.” Thor then stabbed Loki again, this time in the arm.

Natasha, while Thor was focused on Loki, turned her attention to Mrs. Barton. She had the gun in her hand still. Natasha was torn. She struggled with the idea of shooting Clint’s mother. Though she had abandoned Clint, she was still his mother. Natasha wasn’t sure what to do. Clint noticed her hesitation and the gun in her hand. “Shoot her,” he mumbled as quietly as he could.

Mrs. Barton looked at her son and Natasha. “Clint, get away from her and I’ll make sure you survive this.”

“Why should I believe you? You fucking abandoned me! I didn’t do anything wrong and you left. Why should I trust ANYTHING you say?”

“Because I’m your mother and mother knows best.”

Clint reached for the gun and brought it up. Mrs. Barton realized too late what was happening. Clint, who had always been a crack shot, fired the gun. Mrs. Barton flew back as the bullet struck her in the chest. Her body crashed into the kitchen island behind her. Thor started to make his way over and Clint fired a single shot at Thor.

Natasha looked at Clint. She was at a loss of what to say to him. She took the gun from his hand and helped him onto the floor. “I think I’ve lost a lot of blood here.” Clint tried to joke.

“Stay right there. I’m going to call for help.”

“Where am I gonna go? I can’t even stand on my own.”

Natasha rolled her eyes with a small smile. If Clint was joking, then she knew he would be okay. She looked at Thor’s body lying on the ground. Loki, who was sitting a few feet away, said, “you know, they always make a comeback.”

Just then, Thor started to pop up. Natasha jumped back and fired a shot into his head. Thor fell back to the ground. The front door then flew open. Natasha, Clint, and Loki all let out a shout. Y/N came stumbling in. A sizeable gash on her forehead from the crash had blood pouring down her face.

She made her way over to Phil. She helped him stand up and took the tape off his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I think so.” He made his way over to Natasha and pulled her into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry.”

“Dad, you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t know who she really was.” Natasha hesitated, thinking on Loki’s words. She looked at Clint and then at Mrs. Barton. Clint nodded his head at her. Natasha aimed the gun and fired it at Mrs. Barton’s head.

Natasha walked over to Clint and hugged him. “I’m so sorry.” They whispered to each other at the same time.

“Why are you sorry, Nat?” Clint asked.

“I killed your mom. And my family is the reason she left you in the first place.”

Clint shook his head. “Nat, you are not responsible for all that. She made her decisions and apparently still didn’t want to own to what she did. She tried to blame you and your mother for her leaving. She didn’t have to stay with my dad. I wouldn’t have expected that, but she left me.”

Natasha had tears in her eyes. “So, why are you sorry?”

“My mom put you in this position.”

“You’re right. YOUR MOTHER did. Not you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

The sounds of sirens could be heard in the background. Natasha helped Clint get outside. They sat down on the front steps, waiting for the ambulance. Y/N came out and stooped next to Bucky’s body. She put her hand on his uninjured shoulder. Suddenly, Bucky started to move. Y/N jumped back for a moment before leaning back over him. “Bucky? Can you hear me?”

Bucky groaned. “Fuck this hurts.”

Y/N felt relief. “Oh thank God you’re alive. It’s gonna be okay, Bucky. I think the ambulance is close. I can hear the sirens.”

Y/N looked over the yard and saw Sam’s body not far from where it fell from the van. Even though she generally did not get along with other people, she liked Sam. He didn’t put up with her shit, but he was a great camera guy. She saw Sam start to move. “Oh my God.” Y/N ran over to him. “Sam! What the hell?”

She dropped down next to him and turned his body over. Other than the stab wound to his shoulder, she didn’t see any other injuries. “Sam, are you okay?”

Sam blinked a few times and just looked at her. “Y/N, I was stabbed and then thrown off a van. How do you think I am?”

Y/N started to laugh with tears running down her face. “Well, your sense of humor is intact, so I’ll take that as a win. Do you think you can get up? I want to move closer to the house.”

The two made their way to the front porch. Sam dropped on his butt. “I’m done with today. You can do your own work.”

“Fair enough, Sam.”

The ambulances came, along with several police cruisers. Bucky, Clint, and Sam were loaded onto stretchers, with Natasha deciding to ride to the hospital with Clint. Loki was stitched up, but decided he didn’t need to go to the hospital, so Y/N convinced him to be her camera guy while she broke the story of a lifetime.

“This is Y/N Weathers with an eyewitness account to an amazing breaking story. Several more local residents are dead, bringing to an end the harrowing mystery of the mass killings that has terrorized this peaceful community, like the plot of some scary movie. It all began with a scream of 911 and ended in a blood bath. It all played out here in this peaceful farmhouse far from the crimes and sirens of a larger city…”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes #DinoScaryStories2020 #loki #thor #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff #clint barton #Clintasha #scream

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