#and was like good now i dont have the time to get attached | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lonely-moonshine-still · 1 year ago

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🎪💙

This is an original custom i creaded for a secret santa last year!

Their horns, clothes and arrow heads are made from apoxie sculpt, and the arrows through their head from a piece of wire.

I wanted this custom to have a harlequin look to it and am really happy with how they turned out. Red, black and white are my go to colours for any time I choose a colour scheme, so I wanted to add some blue in there as well to highlight and add some more interest to the character.

Overall, I really love how this one came out and definitely miss having them around 😅

#lps #lpscustom #lps community #lps custom #lpscommunity #ooak #handmade #art #circus #clown #clown art #clown aesthetic #i really do miss them #i finished them in record breaking speed for me #and was like good now i dont have the time to get attached #my heart broke when i had to give them away #the urge to steal them back is strong but i resist

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ghostofsnails · 5 days ago

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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and

#disventure camp #disventure camp fanart #tristan vik #disventure camp tristan #ghostofsnails #my art #It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this #like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them #ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON #actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball #i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped #i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so #kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth #stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy #they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too #Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR #CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN #THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.

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lightbulb-warning · 5 months ago

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so has anyone figured out WHY there is the Need To Share our Artworks™ or is it just the vibes and our Soul apparently

#ive been running on “two cakes. u aren't BOTHERING people by putting art on their feed they can scroll past it/if they dont they get ”cake“”#and we love “cake”#“cake” is picture on the internet in this case #like okay the contracts and transaction format is a me problem!! i need to get rid of the “utilitarian brain worms” bc they're boring #this is supposed to be a hobby and the “get a good grade in hobby” wolf in the brain is just crying bc that's how they understand the world #the “get a good grade in x” wolf has valid pain but needs to stop controlling my life because they don't need to earn “enough value to live”#ect ect ect #and the life of minmaxxed utility is a life of trying to appeal to a “correct” that doesn't exist yaddi yadda = boring #i love you wolf. also shut up. affectionate. concerned. you get it #ok so we remove tangible purpose from act of experience art because THAT'S not “the point”#because “the point” is the joy killer eccetera ecc #but then what? “here check out this labor of love. i drew this fucker 15 times. no there's no story* there it's just a guy”#*story in this case being an emotional engagement/a situation/a context in which to ponder/other #so it's just a Draw. no further analysis. what do others Get from that?#i know i deeply enjoy art because im a fan of the process of People Making Stuff. i love when there was nothing but now there's something!!!#THAT'S what's it all about!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!! right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#so it stands to reason that creation is purpose enough?? to be experienced???? to be known????????#idk!!#this is a nothing burger of a thought people have always liked picture on the internet stfu maiora there doesn't need to be a reason #this is just the brainworms talking!!! because god forbid “something not have a purpose”??? blegh!!!!!!!!#sounds like unhealthy rationalizing instead of letting things be out of The Fear™!!sounds like depraving urself from joy bc of BRAINWORMS!!!#so like!!!!! picture on the internet doesn't NEED inherent value. creation is enough!! (plus there's the Attachment to Character. also.)#but then why are YOU *points at you* here? gen q!!#i made an image you like and now you are reading my word babble in some tags!!! what's THAT all about???????????#it's INTERESTING!! do you see what im trying to get at??#is it empathy??? person made something other saw something other made- other2other connection???? intrigue????????#.......all this is probably explained in some book or yt essay somewhere. oh well.#in the meantime thank you for your time! we can pretend we were stuck in an elevator together and then i started rambling #i hope you have a great rest of your day thanks for stopping by!! <3 #maiora garrulates

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xxplastic-cubexx · 3 months ago

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hello!! i just want to tell you that your art is so goddamn scrumptious, you are literally feeding my xmen brainrot and I find myself smiling when i see your art come across my feed. I love how you draw charles, pretty privilege and post (lets be fr he's serving every time)

i hope you always have fantastic brainrot and id kiss your blessed hands for giving us the gift of cherik and charles xavier, you are literally an icon

hope you have a great day ahead of you and more!! you deserve it !!

well i'ma absolutely have a wonderful mornin after readin this AWWWW thank you so so much !!!! i haven't been postin xmen long, so it's been really heartwarmin seein the warm reception to my work in the wonderful tags people have been leavin on my posts- and especially gettin to answer the lovely asks y'all've been sendin in (❁´ ▽ `❁) !! im glad people also like my goofy text posts and esp quotes from my brother he really has no right being so funny at the most random times

i hope to be xmen posting a while: ive got at least 60 years worth of stuff to look through and ongoing, so i dont imagine my interest'll wane anytime soon :]] !!

#fave #snap chats #'xmen posting' is so generous ive been posting the same two freaks day in day out !!!!!!#my blog desc does not lie i am cherik posting near exclusively because these two have captivated my brain in such a diabolical manner #that doesnt mean i dont love the rest of the xmen cast ofc ..... its been fun getting back into this franchise more in depth this year #its funny honestly: i was more of an avengers kid growing up but like. by the SMALLEST technical margin #i Vaguely caught eps of 92 as a kid and i distinctly remember the 'real raven' scene from first class when i was a teen #because of course thats the one (1) scene i saw as a kid while channel surfing jELJEA like Hello mr lehnsherr. Your zesty turtleneck.#and mystique. hello. but it didnt really go any deeper than that ... until recently HIIIII #i missed the train like a mfer tho all Three of my friends had watched the xmen movies growing up but better late than never !!#i got into comics through my bro and he only really took me to see avengers movies and the like but avengers hasnt really. stuck with me #not in the way xmen has recently. maybe its cause im older idk i just find myself attached to it and more interested in it as a whole #BUT ENOUGH OF THAT PRATTLE thank you so much for the kind words !!! they really do mean a lot i'll cherish this ask forever #im very happy people like how i draw charles i love drawing him sm.... pretty privilege and post thats heinous vjlkjvALVJELKJ #BUT VERY TRUE HE'S ALWAYS HANDSOME THO i love me a bald mfer im so serious this is no game #dark phoenix gets my ire for having mcavoy be bald the whole time but then i have to deal with The Rest Of The Movie #he just looks so good .... i mean Granted but he just looks especially good ... do we catch my cold ... ill stop now ...#point is i look forward to drawing charles many more times in the future Bald Or Not with his ex by his side <3 #i dont even wanna post this i just wanna keep readin it. and replyin to it vJEALKAEJKL BUT i must thank you ... so thank you !!!#i hope to continue makin the people happy with my silly postings :]]]

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beeduoo · 7 months ago

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my cbenchtrio gachas they are completed guys gacha life is awesome i unironically get on here for fun

#cant let gang know i fw this #its like picrew kinddd of #ive tried to make cranboo a good three times now this is the best i could do there is no Split dye hair guys i tried so hard with these #Today i will be going to the store to hopefully get a One terabite iphone guys u atcually dont understand i have 30 thousand photos my pho #ne ive had since summer of eigth grade cant hold on anymore😭😭😭#IM SO SAD TOO liek yeah imma get a million billion more storage space but also i loveee my phone im like attached to it Im gonna be so sad #rest in piece........#iam posting from my ipad this thing is Freshly upgraded

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tyranitarkisser · 7 months ago

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#you know what.#danganronpas so good when you dont have someone in your ear telling you it sucks #revisiting it now. i was expecting eo much worse #and it has its issues dont get me wrong #but i think its in a similar boat as homestuck where people have a lot of negative memories attached to it because they got into it when #they were teenagers #but that doesnt make it something thats *only* for teenagers #which i feel a lot of people subconsciously think #on top of the localization just generally not being very good #and the most recent wave of fandom having gotten into it through game grumps where they spent the entire time making fun of the game and #acting like theyre too good for it #i think i hate arin hanson. but thats another conversation LOL

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ashersbraincell · 24 days ago

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Mann….out of all the things my brain could of brought up to wallow in RIGHT before going to sleep did it really have to be the realisation that I’m like. Completely alone in the world. I genuinely have no stable, healthy relationship like at all. Not even with myself. I know I don’t deserve nor am capable of forming and maintaining a relationship of any sort but like GOD DAMNNNN

#maybe not totally alone in the world #got my mom and dad but #lets the brutally real for a second #that shit is the most fragile on and off atomic bomb codependency with a side of walking on eggshells and caretaker burnout #i guess i just mean that i dont have any healthy relationship in my life atm #fun.#also getting that middle of the night urge to text my old bsf who basically ghosted me #rationally its not a good idea #which is whats keeping me from doing it #but man do i want to be passive agressive #bitter #fond #well wishing #wanting to start over when we’re older #a mess of all of the above #oh btw moots #im sorry but #as much as I appreciate the lil interactions we have #its hardly comparable to a relationship #perhaps some of us could become friends if it wasnt for the fact that i know full well im not #im not a good person to be friends with trust #especially right now #all you’d be getting would be a clingy mess who cares little about you actually because im selfish lile that #literally all I want to do is play the games i like together and seldom try yours #i think i make for a fun conversation partner but thats about it #and even then i interrupt and butt in all the time #also dealing with my indirect venting through my posts and therefore worryng about me ending my life would also be unhealthy asf #trust me i know i have many times gone through being friends/generally caring and worrying about someone who self harms/wants to die #it is a nightmare to deal with when you genuinely care for them #so please dont get attached like that to me

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abrahamvanhelsings · 3 months ago

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the people at the archives nationales want to see me dead but i also found out they built a stand at the notre dame just so people can watch the cranes move and the builders walk around the scaffolding and that did brighten up my day

#it's so frustrating tho bc they have the most dumbass way of requesting archival records like #you have to go up to the desk and they give you a seat and tickets with the inventory numbers you requested #and every time you want to get one (1) box you need to give them the ticket with the number on it #and when you come to register and get your pass they need ur passport and you need to sign 5 million documents #but i requested a couple very important boxes when i was still in pre-registration i.e. had signed up on the website #but had not gone there to get my pass #and the boxes are RIGHT THERE attached to my name in the system. they can see it on their screens.#but they never gave me the tickets with the inventory numbers and now they refuse to give me the boxes #and every time i try to explain (but i have to think bc my spoken french is just not very good) they start talking to me in french #and then i dont understand them and they get annoyed with me and im like IF YOU'D JUST LET ME GATHER MY THOUGHTS #AND EXPLAIN THE SITUATION. LIKE IM TRYING OVER HERE #and i kept saying 'je n'a pas reçu les tickets ce matin' but they just. ignored that. one woman looked at me all mad and just went #NO ticket NO box. but like in french. and im like WHY ARE YOU SO MAD JFC #every day in this place i have psych myself up to talk to people who visibly think im stupid as hell #curry rambles #ill try again tomorrow but i really don't want to go back on friday bc there's other things i want to see at the bibliothèque nationale

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bmpmp3 · 11 months ago

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the epic highs and lows of trying to read an ongoing shounen manga

#for me it uh. tends to have more epic lows than epic highs. im very unlucky with shounen #occasionally a few years after something i start reading it'll turn out to be good #but any time i follow something from the beginning it starts getting. worse #is it me? am i doing this? dont tell me to read your favourite shounen i'll turn it bad #did i ever mention that one manga. the moon is beautiful but first die #a mouthful of a title. it started kinda goofy but i really adored the main character for some reason #im still a bit attached to him. he cleans so well that he got the magic power to see real good. and now he can matrix bullet time #hes just like me for reeeeeeeaaaal hflkanjvdkfljfds but yeah that manga was. weird but fun BUT THEN #it got so wack you guys you dont understand. the first like one or two volumes? fun #everything else? god knows JHKFDJFDK i still read it all tho. i was invested in my guy with seeing real good powers #and im sorry to say. unfortunately it seems. a certain manga with a big tv adaptation that is pronounced oh she no co #my curse. its started. although that ones very much a epic high and epic low situation like itll be so so wack one minute #and suddenly get good again and then plummet back down HFKJDSBHJds we will see how it goes on #i started getting annoyed with the writing after the stageplay arc because they kept like. time skipping over so much #which i thought was a bit of a waste because there was a lot of interesting potential in a lot of the showbiz storylines. but we shall see #thats not shounen tho thats seinen but my curse applies to some seinen too LOL but most seinen i read is already finished #and shoujosei is spared from my curse. i think just because most i have the opportunity to read in english just tends to not #be drawn out or have weird scheduling things messing with the pacing. are there any weekly shoujosei magazines out there #i dont think weekly manga is good. for a lot of reasons mostly the mangakas health but also i find more weekly stuff i read #that isnt like. 4koma stuff suffers in its pacing a LOT. but again that might be my curse. the second i lay my eyes on it. the curse #(sorry ive been catching up on a lot of manga recently LOL ur getting my manga thoughts now)

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skeletons-in-ur-closet · 9 months ago

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it was very dumb of me to go back to school right after my dad died tbh

#idk why i thought this would be a good idea #last semester i actually did pretty well considering i took midterms like 2 weeks after he died #but now its catching up w me and i cant do anything about it #im barely passing 2 of my 4 classes even though im actually fuckin trying in them #im up to my goddamn ears in stress rn with school on top of getting a second job idk how im gonna do another month of this #it might be a good thing for me to drop out bc idk if i can even afford my school next semester #i dont have an emotionally attachment to it or anything so i dont mind transferring to a cheaper school #and going to a cheaper school could allow me to do part time instead of full time #i just feel like a LOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

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13eyond13 · 10 months ago

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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious #that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much #i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like #such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him #frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again #dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest #the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary #and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit #i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline #which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all #but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored #i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already #so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight #into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them #also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw #but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just #let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too #often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time #i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me #maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a #'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe #it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun #p

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eternalstateofoctober · 2 years ago

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i dont know if i made a mistake but i’m so stressed out right now damn it

#there’s the most beautiful sounding queer early 1900s love story set in the countryside filming in early august and they’re looking for a co #stumer with the costume design being done already and i just asked about it because i’ve just been so interested in that project from afar s #ince i heard the pitch and my thinking is since the project i’ve already attached myself to is planning filming for november - i have good t #ime until this new one starts filming where i dont yet have to so urgently be working on the nov. one #AND even after filming this new one if i do it i’ll still have good-ish time. i think. maybe. so yeah.#because my biggest nightmare is doing two things at the same time even the slightest so #and like to reiterate: this new one already has the planning done so i’d only have to source the costumes and do the fittings + filming and.#get this. WITH NOT ONE BUT TWO ASSISTANTS which is also a luxury i have NEVER had during all of school #so like??#idfk but i’m anxious as hell now #and absolutely won’t be sad if i dont get it lmao #it talks #janna’s film school diaries #idk which way i want this to go but at least i won’t have to regret not making a move which i was a little. so now i’m equally as happy with #any outcome

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chelleisamazing · 2 years ago

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I try to be stone cold and dismissive about my feelings, but the truth is... I miss him. Most of all, I miss the day-to-day, ordinary conversations we had. I miss his long, rambly voicenotes and the out-of the blue, random pictures he would send me. I miss how easy it was to be friends... and I want to think he misses me too. I know he's watching me. I don't know why he won't talk to me though, or if he expects me to talk to him first. Did he get bored? Did he realize it's not worth the trouble? Does he think I'm mad at him? Or is he mad at me? He seemed okay the last day we talked... there was tension, of course, but apart from that, we were moving on from the awkwardness of our weekend together... Is he ashamed of what happened? Of how everything didn't turn out how we expected it? I want to tell him he shouldn't be... it wasn't his fault. I see him watching me, and I wonder if he cares; if he ever cared. I also feel dumb because I probably cared more than he ever did (and still do), but it used to feel real-- our friendship. I really felt we had turned into good friends. Of course, I didn't expect to talk everyday, all-day; everyone gets bored of that... but I wish we could just check in with each other at least, once in a while, without feeling like something stings in my chest... I want to think he knows how bad I feel, not knowing about him. After all the things he said to me, and I said to him, I hope at least someday I get an explanation; some kind of continuation... or closure.

#something happened and I got triggered 🥲#not like i dont think about him at least once a day already but you get it #i know i mentioned before i only wanted to f*ck lol but guess i got too attached this time #and how could I not... he has such a good aura about him 😪♡#but... he's a man after all...#i shouldve expected the worse #funny thing is now I just miss the way we got along 🥲#and i have friends here too but i could talk with him in a way i cant to anyone else #and that sound sad but my point is #it was just different-- a good different.#huge sigh #i honestly feel like falling in love... this time preferably with a girl 🥲#please gawd #personal post #stuff

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dokjaism · 2 years ago

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#im sorry im getting feelings again #i was going to say i dont like being in tune w my feelings but. am i rlly LMAO #im not. im not rlly i dont recognize them i cant rlly name them outside of the main 3 #all i know is that wanting smth usually leads to sadness bcs. when will it be my turn. will i EVER get my turn #and rn i want smth so bad which ik will turn into smth bad. sigh #and wanting smth im not sure i will ever get leads me to feeling im wasting my time bcs the things i can do now r very limited and outside #of that i cant rlly do shit. like. i rlly cant and it takes me to self-doubt. it makes me question myself #and i hate questioning myself bcs im not sure about a THING. is it the right path am i doing things right #and i dont know!!!!!! i dont know!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know if i made the right decision of dropping out. i dont know if it was the right #choice to start a new major. in a new university. im not sure #and it makes me insecure bcs what if i was wrong what if im doing things wrong what if i didnt do the right thing #idk man. this path has been so lonely and i know i keep repeating myself i just have to wait to do things i want but what if i dont get it #< see i said feeling things usually take the wrong turn #this isn't very silly goofy of me im sorry #i just gotta be my own comedic relief or i will go absolutely fucking insane #idk man. i just wanna feel like i made the right decision and that im doing things for my own good without doubting myself #i wanna feel secure in life and i want to feel proud of me but on the mean time im just gonna live through ppl feeling proud of me #and im gonna live ignoring every single feeling bcs i dont like feeling them at all and im gonna keep protecting myself getting attached to #fictional stories and such #jo.txt #if someone read til here im sorry for the thoughts and stuff i will go back to being silly goofy rn 👍

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nihiltism · 2 years ago

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unsolicited piece of vee lore for tonight is that i have a twewy reaper hoodie that i dont wear that often bc the paints a little grody now and its a bit small but i made it in 7th grade and it was my favorite and i was never once recognized because i have this disease called bearer of the curse where even if the media i get into Isnt very obscure i get into it at a time where everyones stopped caring so im eternally in hell

#and when it Does get a revive its when im no longer hyperfixated #i still havent played neo. or know what happens in a new day.#i do like beat though. shoutout to beat.#my appreciation of him has grown as i got less hyperfixated #middle school me got attached to entirely komaedas. now i pick up blorbos because i like them.#i dont think i have any pics of the hoodie unfortunately #i also have a good amt of pins i got from an etsy seller back in high school!!#i think i got physical versions of my main lineup which was uhhhhh #i do. not remember #i was also working on 100%ing my ds save!!#i think the only thing i was missing was pin mastery #did u know that if u beat the final day enough times (i think ten) u get noise rhyme on the save screen #finger guns at u. now u do.#veespeaks

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stars-and-guts · 1 month ago

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me when i woke up two days ago and my kamioshis have beef and the allegations are getting srs

#im not tagging this with either liver or any companies i dont need to add oil to the fire #tldr there is no tldr bc theres so much background context to why there would be this sort of allegation in the first place #im just pissed and mentally ill #fuck bro #you guys get my thoughts so ig thats context but no specifics and if you ask im ignoring you #1 i didnt realize that a KAMI oshi fucking hated another oshi the entire time he was in the same vtuber company and wave as him #2 there are super serious allegations going around for that another oshi/kamioshi 2 that have no solid proof or sources #but people think it aligns with how he acts and are harassing him #3 kamioshi 1 adds fuel to the fire for petty reasons and is acting so immature that its disappointing even if the allegations are true #4 im forced to realize that i didnt actually support my fucking K A M I oshi enough to want to follow him after he left that company #bc i honestly wasnt paying much attention to him anymore until all of this happened over my current kamioshi / oshi 2 #5 if i say anything too crazy about it the “news” channels trying to push allegations without proof will just fucking steal my tweets #because theyre desperate like that #and theres nothing i can do about it #and now im just realizing that when i got into this group of livers i was even younger than i am now + immature + naive #the group that convinced me that me and my friends could stick together as a group was harboring this kind of conflict the whole time #why did i let my guard down to become a fan of a real person #why did i actually think i could see the good in a real person #whatever fuck this #idk the plan now is to stay neutral unless something comes out and clears up the situation #also if the company handles it badly whether the allegations are true or not thats the last straw #im done with all vtubers after that #this is right after my trips to japan too i dont fucking know what im supposed to do with the vtuber ita bag or nui plush #ALSO im being very selfish about this on this post #these thoughts will NOT be going to twitter #let it be known that this posts tags are an example of an unhealthy and overattached fan #this shit is NOT about me #i just have to make it about me because i got so attached to this and its my fault for doing that #this isnt getting my post tag either #major vent alert major veeeeennntt alleerrrttt

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