#idfk but i’m anxious as hell now
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i dont know if i made a mistake but i’m so stressed out right now damn it
#there’s the most beautiful sounding queer early 1900s love story set in the countryside filming in early august and they’re looking for a co#stumer with the costume design being done already and i just asked about it because i’ve just been so interested in that project from afar s#ince i heard the pitch and my thinking is since the project i’ve already attached myself to is planning filming for november - i have good t#ime until this new one starts filming where i dont yet have to so urgently be working on the nov. one#AND even after filming this new one if i do it i’ll still have good-ish time. i think. maybe. so yeah.#because my biggest nightmare is doing two things at the same time even the slightest so#and like to reiterate: this new one already has the planning done so i’d only have to source the costumes and do the fittings + filming and.#get this. WITH NOT ONE BUT TWO ASSISTANTS which is also a luxury i have NEVER had during all of school#so like??#idfk but i’m anxious as hell now#and absolutely won’t be sad if i dont get it lmao#it talks#janna’s film school diaries#idk which way i want this to go but at least i won’t have to regret not making a move which i was a little. so now i’m equally as happy with#any outcome
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🖤 memmemememememememe for gem
send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours.
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
note: idfk what u look like but i imagine ur stinky
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
note: all that biting and green hot dogs
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
note: i may have simped initially but ne ways
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
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Episode 13: “What a depressing trip to Las Vegas” - Jaiden
I just have one thing to say.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! It worked! I didn't expect Joey to vote with us. I feel bad about that, but hey, we couldn't see him being sincere. If he told us who the others were voting for, then maybe we would have changed votes. Jaiden was open to it already. Kailyn is probably the one who voted with John for Liv. Maybe she thought he would play and idol or maybe jury management. Anyway, she should have told us.
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Joey got voted out. Which was not supposed to happen this round. Pat and Jeff are just so naive and easily to manipulate. I’m sure they could be convinced to self vote without any real effort. I don’t even want to bother working with them moving forward because of it. But I might have to. I can’t let grudges get in the way of getting to the end game. Honestly at this point I’d be happy going to F3 with Liv and Kailyn. Xavier is too nice. Jaiden is too... out there? Love him, but I don’t want to sit next to him at the end. And Pat and Jeff i just don’t think they deserve to make it that far
I still can’t believe tribal tonight was real. It’s been like six hours and I’m still in shock that Joey finally went home. Like... what??? I’ve been dealing with that dude for three weeks and I’ve held his little secret in until it finally came of use to me, and... now I’m in the final seven. The game has NOT been won yet and while I feel like cheering and celebrating, I need to maintain my focus and center myself as the game is nowhere close to being over yet. We’ve still got at least four tribals to go, but after tonight I might be able to say that I’m exactly halfway through the merge (assuming it’s a final three... dear god please be a final three). Top eight was a really hard mountain to climb and once I lost immunity I felt a little out of touch with what was gonna happen next. I really felt like my time was going to come, and I’m so thankful that it wasn’t. Tbh Kailyn might’ve gone home today had Jeff not told me about a Palazzo chat still being alive and well. I don’t know how I’m gonna turn this bad situation around again but I need to convince Keegan and Livingston to work with me, Kailyn, and Xavier. It is critical now that Jeff or Pat go home because one of them is going to win. Before Joey left, he told me that there is a rumor that Jeff or Pat have an idol nullifier. While a nullifier won’t affect me right now, it’s not something that I want to see in the game going forward period and I want to use that little piece of information to my benefit and finally get rid of Pat. I’ve been saying for SO LONG that we need to get rid of Pat and now the time is ticking down. He has to go as soon as possible, fuck whatever Jeff says. Tbh I want to fly into the final six with no votes cast against me, still. I wonder if I can get Jeff and Pat to target like Keegan or Livingston and I really just need Xavier or Kaitlyn to bring up Pat’s name first before Jeff.. I doubt they have the smarts to recognize the danger that they pose, but we will see... Keegan is DEFINITELY pissed off at me now too. I made the mistake of telling him that I was “a little annoyed” about how tribal went, which was such a dumb thing to say bc tribal went exactly how I wanted it to. I’m playing off the fact that Kailyn must’ve known abt Joey voting for Livingston because her name was on the chopping block too so that’s why it went 4-2-2 rather than 5-2-1 like it was supposed to. I don’t want anybody to know that I was playing for Joey’s advantage which I’m sure people think I have right now lmfao... Anyways really I need to just make Keegan NOT hate me because he’s still part of my plan long term (I think)... he’s really smart tho and I’m not counting him out to win the whole thing but he hasn’t really done much of anything whereas people like Jeff and Pat and Xavier have kinda done a lot... If Keegan isn’t prepared to be fully loyal to me til the end then there’s nothing I can say to him except adios. All I really need right now is an immunity run til the end. I hope that the next challenge is something that doesn’t require a lot of skill because I am INCREDIBLY anxious just thinking about a competition, live. I need final seven immunity because then I’m guaranteed top five... the furthest I’ve ever been in Tumblr Survivor by a mile. I’ll break so many of my own personal records with that one single immunity win. In fact, if I make it to final five, that will be the best I’ve literally ever done in a Skype survivor org. I haven’t done that good since April and it’s just really affirming to me that this was the right decision for me to come back to Tumblr. Aside from winning challenges and making more moves, I also have gotta start fixing my bad relationships. Like I mentioned earlier, Keegan seems REALLY pissed off at me for how things went down with him being left out of the vote again. I can only apologize so many times before I am simply unforgivable. Maybe say sorry less and work to do better??? Idfk. But if Jeff or Pat can just say Keegan’s name, I’ll do what I can to prove to him that I’m loyal to HIM and not them. I hope that the Palazzos are falling to pieces now and realize that the only way to the end is to stick by us and nobody else. Jeff was also pretty mad at me for pushing his buttons a lot today. But honestly he was feeding me utter bullshit. I don’t buy that he was my savior and guardian Angel today, protecting me from having my name come up. I should honestly tell Livingston that Jeff sold him out to me not too long after Livingston said my name in their little chat. That would be hilarious. Kailyn and I are pretty close, but it could be better. I think I tend to revert all game-conversations with Xavier, so I don’t consider Kailyn my main ally unfortunately. If I want to go to the final three with her and Xavier, I need to really work on building that GAME relationship up because as a person I think we vibe well but it’s gonna come down to a couple factors and if she *has* to be sacrificed for me to get further, I can’t do anything but let it happen unfortunately.. As I just said, Xavier is kind of my main strategic ally right now which is super weird to say. He has definitely stepped it up A LOT in the strategic department and I have a lot of respect for him just as a person and I want to try and pick his brain a little bit more. The only thing with Xavier is that he seems to be playing really “safe” right now - I think had the opportunity presented itself to vote for Jeff with Joey, Xavier wouldn’t have gone for it and would’ve wanted to stick strong with voting Livingston instead. Which I totally get, but this game right now kinda requires we make bolder decisions than just what kinda didn’t work last time, you know? Okay now for Pat - god our relationship is just so weird. I have virtually not ties to Pat except the one alliance with Jeff and I feel like Jeff wants to control Pat rather than let Pat be his own player. It’s weird. I wonder if Pat would be down to vote out Jeff but fuck it’s gonna be hard to pull that off. I don’t want to hold off on Pat BECAUSE if I can’t get him out next, I will need him at final six and hopefully final five to serve as a sacrificial lamb or something. I’m wondering now if maybe Livingston needs to go because people are gonna always view Pat as a huge threat to win, even though he might not necessarily do so if he gets there. Livingston... yeah I really don’t like Livingston lmfao. I think it’s because of his super close connection to Rachael but it might also be because he is like, cool and nerdy and a bit of a try hard “around camp” so to speak. What REALLY gets on my nerves about Livingston is that he possesses zero of the charisma to convince me that he sucks at this game but enough social finesse to make me think that he’s actually gonna win if he gets to the end. He’s like, that cool dork everybody was friends with in high school. Even though parts of his game have been lackluster as fuck, he’s still a massive threat to win and I might just need to kick him off to the jury as soon as possible. :) And finally... me! I’m gonna try hard to be unbiased and self-aware but it’s so difficult to do that bc I genuinely don’t know how ppl are perceiving me this time.. I THINK it’s mostly positive but tonight was definitely one of my most negative episodes bc of how stressful I was being before tribal. Just ask Jeff. I think I’m definitely succeeding in getting votes to go my way and I have had a LOT of things go right for me since the merge. From Stephanie leaving right when I needed her to, to the double removal, to the super idol coming out and getting rid of Joey... It’s been so good so far. BUT I’m not being subtle about it. Subtlety is not a strength of mine that’s for sure.. I think I succeeded in being “subtle” about the Steph thing bc I was not making it overly obvious I wanted her out but otherwise I’ve been very clearly controlling other decisions and how certain votes went. Leaving two people I don’t trust in the game (Pat/Jeff) is tough but at least I worked with them on something, right? Joey was telling me so much that he was gonna lose to me and I think he was right. Now Jeff is saying that he’s probably going to lose if we’re in the end, but he doesn’t want to vote me out. Do I trust that? Not really... But fuck, I don’t even know anymore!!! I think if the game was over right now, I’m going to be grilled to DEATH for being fake as hell to Joey. I think that’s gonna come back to bite me so I need to start talking POSITIVELY about Joey to EVERYBODY. Read him for game, not for personal reasons. And maybe I’ll even talk his game up going forward just so that the person who goes into jury at least relays that I made a “good move” voting for Joey to leave (even tho I didn’t vote for Joey hehe). I wonder if people think I’m just playing tjem as pawns and not as real people.. bc these are definitely real people we are playing with here and I recognize that, but honestly in my mind nobody here wants this as badly as me. If that makes me the villain, I’m fine being the villain. But I’m not a human being that will ever play this game with a passion to play humanely. I want to win so badly. I’m going crazy in my own head, the wheels turning in hyperspeed. I’ve never been hungrier for something like I am for this win... I can hold out another year in this environment if I have to. I can and I will 🤠
Darn third world slow internet connection! Anyway, it made others look like challenge threats more than me, so hopefully that gets me through more rounds if they think other people can win more :)
That was a very stressful and very tense immunity challenge. Jeff was the clear front runner for the first five rounds, being the first person to advance in all of them. He’s a quick typer which made me very worried I wouldn’t be able to pull off a win. However, the last round was “Name That Song” and with the help of Siri, I snagged the immunity necklace! Final 6 here I come! This round presents me with an interesting dilemma. Since I have immunity I can be a little more ballsy. So I could throw Jeff or Pat under the bus, try to sway Jaiden, Kailyn and Xavier to vote one of them out. Or I can stick with the OG Palazzo group that is saying (for the fifth time I might add) that they want to stick together. That hasn’t worked out at all yet this merge and we’ve voted 4 people out. Pat and Jeff seem pretty interested in targeting Xavier for being a social threat which I don’t disagree with. But Jaiden is a very strong player. This is one of those rounds where I’m insanely grateful to have immunity because there’s also a bunch of advantages out there. I know Livingston has a regular idol now. But there’s vote steals and extra votes and idol nullifiers out there somewhere and that’s so nerve-wracking. Also, Jaiden mentioned to me that this is the last round for a lot of those advantages and I just don’t think I buy that. Final 7 is a weird place for that. Regardless, I’m fully expecting this to be a wild and crazy tribal tomorrow. Can’t wait to see what happens because I get to sit there looking pretty with my new bling. Xoxo Gossip Girl
I am terrified of tribal today and I have a bunch of different ideas in my head but I just want to survive. Kind of where I am at is I feel like I am getting 7th no matter what because I have never tasted top 6 in an ORG. I could play an idol here at 7, waste it, and then just get fucked at 6. One thing I thought about was "finding" the idol part of the way through tomorrow and then letting OG Palazzo know to build trust. The only issue with this is that the idol nullifier is in play. It could still be on the board. It was on the board when I got my auction advantage. But if it isn't, and Pat and Jeff turn on me, I could be fucked idol or no idol if the nullifier is played. I suppose that Pat and Jeff have both never voted me as far as I can tell, unless I have miscalculated one of the vote counts for the past 2 tribals. Maybe it'd be safer to hold onto the idol quietly and just hope I don't leave with it in my pocket. This is so stressful because if I leave with it in my pocket, I look like an idiot that had the luck to get two advantages but couldn't traverse the game much past that.
Okay so, Jeff is my closest ally at this point. Voting out Joey was our move and I am very happy we did. I don’t express the anger that I’m feeling and I think that helps keep my relationships good with people. I think I’m good with Livingston and Keegan and also Jaiden and Kailyn. I was Xavier out this round but I feel like something is going to happen. No one knows I have an idol which is amazing and I hope I don’t have to use it til final 5 and I have immunity and can play it on someone else for the fun of it. I can’t believe I made final 7 and am actually kicking up playing the game by voting correctly on Joey. I think so far I have 2 of the 4 votes at final tribal council, Andrew and Steph. I think I have a road there, I just hope I make the right decision because I’m still in I a weird phase of the game and anything can happen.
This tribal feels very weird. Jaiden is insisting he hasn’t heard anything at all about the vote. Which I find very strange considering he’s basically been running things most of this merge. Why would suddenly no one tell him anything? Especially Kailyn and Xavier. Seems like those three are fairly open with each other. I could not be more happy to have immunity this round. No matter what happens, I am safe and have not a thing to worry about. I really really hope that Pat and Jeff are being honest and actually voting for Xavier like they say they are. If they’re flipping and voting for Livingston.... I don’t even want to imagine that. But I’m getting some sketchy vibes. Fingers crossed it’s just me being paranoid, though any time I say that something unexpected happens.
Ok I'm calling it, I'm going home tonight ! Literally nobody is telling me anything and it's really quite pathetic to see Keegan, who says we're super cool and good friends and will be friends once this is all over, win immunity and then not make a single attempt to pick me up and flip me to his side. Unless he's so confident that the Palazzo four will stick loyal to the very end... which they probably will, but Jeff is gonna beat all of them in the end and I think they see me as a big threat or something LOL I guess it's good gameplay for them but I hate it either way. I don't really have a lot to say bc now I just feel dumb. I wish I had an idol, but of course, I do not. Anyways, I'm going to have to stick with the fact that people are voting for Xavier tonight and hope my name doesn't come up at all. I'm going to lie and tell Xavier that I'm certain its me or Kailyn tonight and hope he holds an idol if he has it... or plays it on me heh. We'll see though... What a depressing trip to Las Vegas if it ends like this.
The last Confessional :(
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Eric having a daddy kink and being fucked by someone (maybe King? Dark? Idfk) and slipping up and calling them daddy? Or Eric being spanked by his daddy (I’m not too keen on incest but I do love how you write him)
warning: dumb ship ahead and i made this more fluffy than sexy sorry fdfgsfsffadl
Eric was caught up in the moment – he honestly was!
It’d been…a long day. Between being yelled at by Dark, running errands for the Jims, hell – even cleaning up the blood of Wilford’s latest victims, it all had a toll on poor Eric.
Needing nothing more than to shyly ask for some stress relief. Stuttering his way through his request before he took his hand. The apartment’s living room making him claustrophobic, choking him, anxious feelings intensifying by the second.
“I-It’s pe-perfectly fine if you don’t f-feel up for it! N-No pressure what so ever! I just – I can just use my ha–”
“Sure,” he smiled at Eric. His ever calming eyes seeming to wash his anxiety away. The bright color pulling him in, almost hypnotizing him in a way. Settling the younger ego down.
“Let’s take this to the bedroom, yeah? Sex on the couch isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
Eric nods. A soft smile gracing his lips as his lover pulls him up to his feet. Practically sweeping him off them.
–
His lips roam over his neck, leaving Eric weak in the knees.
His legs wrap tighter around his lover’s hips. Shallowing thrusting up against him. Needing friction. Needing pleasure. Needing the gentle care and loving touch his partner always had.
“Love you,” Eric whimpers. Always fumbling to find the right words when he was caught in the moment, “l-love you s-s-so much…”
A kiss to his jawline, a hand reaching to unbutton his jeans, a soft yet delighted sigh against the shell of his ear let Eric know he loved him back.
–
His lover was the type to play soft music while they had sex. It’s melodies mixing with his groans and gentle praises was…well, music to Eric’s ears.
It was easy to lose himself in the pleasures.
Between his lover’s cock deep inside him, brushing against the that special bundle of nerves inside him, between his hand jerking his own cock gently, timing his strokes with the other’s thrusts.
It was quite easy to lose track of what came out of his mouth from his lust filled brain.
Eric arched his back against the soft plush of their blankets. His legs spread wide like a filthy magazine. Lips caught in soft gasps and moans.
His cock throbbed as he stroked from the head, leaking pre cum, to the shaft. Teasing the slit of his head as his lover picked up his thrusts. Eric’s tight hole squeezing his cock in all the right places.
“L-Love you, love you so much!” Eric cries out. His lover hitting that spot inside him that made him see stars. Toes curling as his head rolled back. Exposing the love bites his lover had left behind.
“Yes! Oh God, yes! M-More, Daddy, g-gimmie more–”
Just as soon as the thrusts picked up. They slowed down.
“Daddy, Daddy please k-keep going, please Da…”
Eric snaps back to reality.
Eyes opening.
Head picking up to stare back at his stunned lover.
Panic filling him as he tears up.
He ruined it. He ruined it again. He fucked up, as always. He should’ve kept quiet. And now he fucked up and now he’s going to leave him for being a sick pervert who–
“Eric? Eric, babe, look at me. Shh, Eric, c'mon, come back to me,” Chase stopped. Watching as Eric stared back. Almost shocked at what spilled from his mouth.
“I…C-Chase, I d-didn’t…I’m so sorry, I should’ve–”
“It’s okay,” Chase smiled. Pulling out from Eric with a soft hiss. Crawling his way to Eric’s side.
It hurt Chase to see his boyfriend in such a position.
Scared. Stressed. Anxious.
It hurt to see his boyfriend’s expression change from one to pleasure, then horror. Panicked heartbeat being heard easily over the soft music.
“I…I messed up. I didn’t think…I didn’t, Chase, and I…”
Chase wasted no time in cuddling up to Eric. Sharing the heat from his body. Arms locked tightly around Eric. Knowing how much the other craved close affection when he became particularly too stressed too fast.
“Babe, you didn’t mess up. It’s alright. I’m okay with it, okay?” Chase’s soft tone comforts Eric. Sighing in relief when Eric cuddles back. His half hard erection poking at Chase’s naked thigh.
“If you’re comfortable with calling me Daddy, then I don’t mind. I don’t find a problem with it, just like how you don’t have a problem with me calling you babe everyday.” Chase kisses Eric’s cheek. Feeling the younger calm down, “it’s fine, babe. I just…saw you stop and got scared I hurt you…”
There’s silence. Eric cuddling back as he nuzzles into Chase’s neck. Holding on tightly, as if he was the only thing keeping him afloat.
“It’s…not offensive to you? Because…your situation…”
“When we have sex, it’s between you and I. There’s no divorce or custody battle. There’s no Stacy. All I’m set on is you, and you alone.”
Chase pauses as he kisses Eric’s cheek once more.
“I love you. And nothing you can say will change that.”
“…I love you too…” Eric replies weakly.
There’s an even longer silence as Chase simply holds Eric. The poor younger ego. Going through so much. Living through things nobody as good as him should endure. A need for protectiveness over Eric washing over Chase.
He smiles, the slowest song on their playlist fading into the next. A personal favorite of Eric’s.
“Wanna get some rest, babe?”
Eric nods.
“Yea…”
Chase smirks, “we can try again tomorrow morning. Maybe I can give you a little wake up call.”
Eric squeaks. Embarrassment making him crack a smile.
“I’d…like that v-very much.”
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Curious Conundrum (Part 18)
Prompt: You’re John Watson’s sister. One day you decide to visit your brother for lunch, only to meet the infamous Mr. Holmes…
Word Count: 1676
Warnings: language, flirtation, sexual innuendos (maybe? idfk), murder/crime/case related stuff, angst, jealousy…
Notes: Beta’d by @carryonmyswansong Not only did she beta, but I literally couldn’t have written half these scenes without her help. She contributed majorly, even wrote some parts of scenes. I am forever in her debt.
Also, this starts AFTER Season 2, episode 1. I don’t follow all the episodes, but it does follow the timeline and hit some major events : )
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9| Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 |
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the work in the lab, the case resumed and the children were found. The boy was in critical condition but the girl seemed to be doing fair. Sherlock wanted to question her, and after Lestrade instructed him to not scare the girl or be his normal self, they let him in.
As soon as the little girl looked up at Sherlock though, she screamed her bloody head off. Lestrade shoved Sherlock out of the room, leaving all of you totally confused. Standing in Lestrade’s office, Sherlock had his back to the room as he was deep in thought.
“Well, don't let it get to you. I always feel like screaming when you walk into a room,” Lestrade joked, trying to ease the curious tension. But Sherlock, and even you, knew something was off. Something terrible.
That little girl didn’t scream for the sake of coincidence. No… Something about her abductor reminded her of him. And that wasn’t an accident.
Donovan made a snide remark about Sherlock’s detective skills. Trying to insinuate that his genius was unbelievable or too good to be true. You didn’t like what she was implying one bit.
The three of you walked out and John hailed a cap. Sherlock said that you two needed to grab the next one. Of course, Sherlock needed to be alone and think. You huffed out a breath of air.
“Ugh, that man is trying,” you muttered.
“Yes, but he’s fun,” John tried as he nudged you before you hailed the next cab.
The ride back to their flat was quiet between you and John. Seeing as you were both deep in thought, neither of you said anything until you rounded the corner and saw Sherlock standing in the middle of the street looking absolutely terrified -- with a man slumped over in front of him.
You launched out of the cab before it had completely stopped, and John followed suit.
“Sherlock!” you cried as you ran towards him. “Are you alright?” Your hands and eyes assessed his body before looking over at the man. The man had been shot, several times it’d seemed. From this trajectory, and from where Sherlock was standing, he’d been shot from behind him. Meaning… they could’ve shot Sherlock too.
Emotion took over and you threw your arms around Sherlock. You suspected some sort of fight about it. You thought Sherlock would nudge you off or pull out of your grasp. But to your utter astonishment, he just stood there. He wasn’t hugging back, but when you looked up, the look on his face said it all. He was in shock, his mind working on overdrive. He had no idea why that man was shot. All he could do was think. He seemed anxious, of course.
You let go and let him think. He needed to focus and he didn’t need you fawning all over him. He explained that he saw a video of Moriarty, and when he got out of the cab, the driver had been Moriarity himself.
To think you or Sherlock had been so close to the man was utterly chilling.
Then Sherlock explained that the man saved his life, he shook his hand, and he was killed. John confessed that Mycroft had shown him a profile on that man before and that he was an assassin, and there were more of them living on the block. Now the question was, why were assassins trying to keep Sherlock alive?
A frenzy broke out and John had to fetch Mrs. Hudson. Sherlock was trying to find a break in the dust. That meant someone had broken in. Someone had bugged the place or put cameras.
To your horror, Sherlock said it was cameras, and he found it. You automatically tried to think of anything unsavory you’d done in the living room. Thankfully, nothing came to mind.
Just as he was getting it down, Lestrade came up and into the apartment. Without one word from him, Sherlock already responded, “No. The answer’s no.”
“But you haven’t heard the question yet.”
“You want to take me to the station, I’m just saving you the trouble of asking.”
“Sherlock,” Lestrade started and your boyfriend already knew where it was going. Hell, even you knew.
“The scream?” he asked knowingly.
Lestrade stalled for a moment then said, “Yeah.”
Then Sherlock went on about Moriarty’s plan. The idea to destroy Sherlock’s name, his reputation, his credibility. Lestrade asked if he would come to the station, Sherlock said Moriarty’s next step was one photograph of him being taken in for questioning, so he declined, saying it was a game. A game that, surprisingly, Sherlock was not willing to play.
With that, Lestrade and Donovan (who was waiting) left.
“They’ll be deciding,” Sherlock evenly informed as he sat at the computer.
“Deciding what?”
“Whether or not to come back with a warrant and arrest me,” Sherlock stated.
You whirled to face him. You’d been absentmindedly chewing your thumbnail. “Arrest? Lestrade could never do that. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.”
“It’s standard procedure.”
This launched a full on argument between John and Sherlock. John upset that Sherlock was being uncooperative, and Sherlock upset that John cared what people thought.
“That I am what?” Sherlock demanded, knowing what he was going to say.
“A fraud.”
“You’re worried because you think they’re right. That's why you’re so upset. You’re entertaining the possibility that they might be right and you’ve been taken in as well--”
“No I’m not.”
“Moriarty is playing with your mind too. Can’t you see what’s going on?” he shouted as he banged his hand on the table, making you jump. Sherlock’s eyes slid over to you, the look in them one you never wanted to see.
John assured him he believed in him but then he turned to you. “And you? Are you falling for the tricks as well?”
“No,” you said emphatically, offended that he had even asked.
“Are you sure? Sure that you aren’t wondering? Just a tiny nagging voice inside your head saying it’s all been one big lie?”
“The only nagging voice I hear is yours, darling,” you cooed coolly. He gave you an approving face. Sherlock liked when you were brash, it reminded him that you could take this wild world he lived in. It reminded him of himself. Most importantly, it reminded him of why he loved you.
A blip of time seemed to pass before John’s phone rang. It was Lestrade letting him know that they were on the way to arrest Sherlock.
The fear and anxiety you’d been so keen to hold off on feeling suddenly bubbled its way into your throat. You stared at Sherlock in his chair as you sat across from him. Panic ripped through your stomach.
“Sherlock,” you gasped, but his eyes didn’t leave their fixated spot on the distance.
Mrs. Hudson then entered with a parcel that was delivered earlier for them. John opened it and it was a gingerbread man that had been burned. If there was ever such thing as a bad sign, this would be it.
And on cue, the police sirens wailed right outside the window. This couldn’t be happening. Something had to be done. Someone had to stop them. Before you could say anything though, Mrs. Hudson and John were already on their way down to do what they could to hold them off.
Sherlock calmly went over and grabbed his scarf and you realized he was surrendering.
“What are you doing?” you demanded, suddenly angry. “What the hell are you doing?” you repeated, more viciousness in your voice as you stormed over to him.
“Y/N...” he tried, his tone tired as he put the scarf on.
“No! No. I won’t let you. You can’t just let him do this to you. You’re smarter than him. You can win this. Don’t just lie down and take this. I’ll be your lawyer--”
“You can’t be my lawyer. Conflict of interest.”
You ignored him and went on. “They don’t even have probable cause!”
Sherlock looked at you, grabbed your shoulders firmly, and said. “Y/N, listen to me, it’s going to be fine.”
“You getting arrested under false accusation is not fine!”
But Sherlock didn’t have time to respond. Within seconds the flat was swarming with detectives and cops. As Lestrade read him his rights and reason for being arrested, John continued to protest.
“It’s alright,” Lestrade tried.
“No it’s not alright,” John remarked.
“Get him downstairs, now,” Lestrade instructed and the man handcuffing Sherlock whipped him violently around.
The sight of the action made you simultaneously want to throw up, cry, and hit someone. What a nightmare. What a bloody, awful, nightmare.
“And you’re not to interfere or I shall arrest you too. The both of you,” he warned, his gaze drifting back to you as well.
“Are you done?” John demanded at Donovan.
“Well I said it. First time we met.”
“Don’t bother.”
“One day solving crimes won’t be enough. Now ask yourself, what kind of man would kidnap those kids just to impress us all by finding them?”
You took a step forward, your blood boiling. “If you speak ill of him one more time in his own house I swear to God I’ll--”
A big, stocky man in a suit interrupted you as he stepped into the flat. “Donovan?”
“Sir?”
“That’s our man?”
“Yes, sir.”
“A bit of a weirdo, if you ask me. Often are, these vigilante types,” the man droned and you narrowed your gaze on him. “What are you looking at?” he asked John who took a step towards him.
To your surprise, John reeled his arm back and punched the man square in the face, causing his nose to bleed. You couldn’t help but snicker. But the giggling quit as soon as Donovan cuffed him.
Your blood had stopped boiling now, and had gone to ice. Seeing your brother in cuffs was another dreaded sight. To see your boyfriend and your brother in handcuffs on the same night? Now that was just pure tragedy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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#curious conundrum#sherlock x reader#sherlock holmes x reader#sherlock holmes fic#sherlock holmes#sherlock bbc#john watson#sherlock
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lots of tmi medical/personal shit below. tumblr please help me
I’m so done, I’m so tired of being sick, it’s been a year and four months and this health problem has changed and and evolved and has gotten much better, but still, still, I suffer; it’s not completely gone, I suffer differently now, and I keep saying “I’m done”, but that doesn’t mean anything because I have no choice but to keep suffering through it because no one knows what’s truly wrong or how to help me. I was done ages ago, but have had to keep pushing on without any other choice.
I’m disabled, in a wheelchair, with a muscle degenerative disease, that normally doesn’t affect me much beyond not being able to walk, catching colds and allergy season being worse for me than others, using a breathing machine when I sleep, and having to be tube fed. Last year I started having what it would take months and months, a hospital stay, and so many doctor visits to surmise that I’m probably having reflux. I had a surgery when I was a baby to keep me from refluxing or vomiting, but apparently those don’t last past ten years, and I’m more likely to have reflux from eating lying down. Months and months of crying and arguing with insurance and struggling to get a liquid Prevacid later, I’m so much better than I was. I can breathe normally about half the time, and can lie to myself and tell myself everything is back to normal during those times.
But it isn’t. My stomach still becomes tight and bloated often, I get constipated (which has always been a thing, but it’s worse when it happens now because it just puts more upward pressure on my lungs), I have a ton of saliva/mucus in my mouth that i keep having to swallow that gurgles and sometimes I’m afraid will choke me (and sometimes my throat hurts a little), that gives me congestion (before all this happened, the only time I’d ever be congested is when I’ve caught a bug or when allergies are really bothering me. Now, it’s every day to some degree, which is not normal for me at all), and worst of all, I get this strange feeling near-unsteadiness and shortness of breath and the only thing that helps it is moving around wildly or being rubbed on my back. I’ve had panic attacks because of all this, so maybe that’s anxiety. I’m certainly mentally anxious and stressed as fuck out of my goddamn mind. But I don’t know for sure. We don’t know anything for sure. The other day I started an antibiotic in case I have a sinus infection or something similar, and I woke up feeling nauseous and pale and shaky and weak and couldn’t breathe, so basically the anxiety(???) cranked up to a hundred, and I thought I was going to die. I’ve taken that antibiotic a hundred times before and it was fine, but fuck logic anymore; there is no logic with me anymore. But if I can’t take antibiotics anymore (cause I absolutely one hundred percent cannot throw up; it would probably kill me), then I’m fucked for real! Then again, I’m fucked anyway if I catch something while still like this, so.
I don’t know if I still have reflux. I don’t know what this stuff in my mouth and throat is that feels like when you need to burp when I swallow it. I don’t know if I have anxiety, and if I do, what is the anxiety and what isn’t it. Why does moving and being rubbed help it. I don’t know anything. I’m tired of fearing for my life all the time, though, and not knowing what’s happening to me, and doctors being unable to help, just telling us to do tests I can’t feasibly do. But my body is a wreck, I’m underweight (and already small as hell for my age) and desperately need to gain weight, but can’t because of these stomach problems that cause us to keep cutting back the amount of food I get so I can breathe, I’m probably dehydrated, I might be low on other things, I’m taking so many meds and who knows what all they’re doing to me and causing to happen that we don’t know about, my sitting posture is absolute crap and I lean over on my stomach, probably making this shit worse, whatever “this shit” is, and I get nerve pain down my legs from sitting that also gives me headaches (idfk).
I’m so scared. And scared of being scared. I lie to myself and tell myself that I’m happy, and I’m definitely happier than I was, but I’m never going to be as happy as I was before May of 2017 until I’m fixed. And no one knows how to fix me. How long until I waste away like this, starve? Why does no one know what’s wrong with me, know how to help me?
I can’t believe I’m going to post this; I never wanted to reveal any of this gross shit about my body online, because I hate it and no one should have to know about it. Maybe it won’t even matter because no one will read this lol. But I’m at my wit’s end. I need help. I’m scared and desperate and upset and I don’t know what to do to save myself, someone please help me
I just want my normal life back.
#personal posts#tw medical#medical stuff#tmi#about my body#health side of tumblr help me#i don't know if i actually mean that or not because getting health advice from strangers online can't be smart#but the fact that i'm even half-trying at all shows how fucking desperate i am#how done#doctors won't help you for shit if you're not able-bodied#and my situation is extremely specific so#i'm not expecting answers#especially since this is far from all the details lol#but god i have to try#at the very least to just know i tried and to get validation LMFAO#why am i doing this i'm insane#i gotta do t before it talk myself out of it though
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cccxxxviii.
List three people you’ve had crushes on. >> *shakes head slyly* Noooope! Have you ever been in love with someone that you watched from afar?: >> Yeah. How old were you when you started your period?: >> Eleven or twelve. Probably twelve. How old were you when you had your first crush?: >> Pssh, I don’t fuckin know. Like, ten. How old were you when you were first head over heels in love?: >> Thirteen, and it was with David Duchovny, and I stand by it, god dammit.
Has loving someone ever made you miserable?: >> Sure. How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10?: >> A fucking thirteen. Have you ever thrown up from cramps?: >> Yep. List three people you had a hard time forgiving. >> The people I had a hard time forgiving remain unforgiven, so. Is there someone you are currently struggling to forgive?: >> No, I’m not struggling. I’m not going to force it, what’s the point in that? Nothing requires my forgiveness. I don’t even regard it as a particularly important thing to give. What is the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced?: >> I don’t think anything I’ve experienced tops my worst cramps. Do you have an embarrassing period story? If so, what is it?: >> Not really any embarrassing stories. Like, I’ve bled through clothes and stuff before, but... meh, really. Mostly I was just mad that I ruined a pair of pants I liked. Have you ever had bad cramps in class?: >> Oh, yeah. Have you ever thrown up in school? If so, what happened?: >> Doubtful. Have you ever left school because of cramps?: >> Yeah, because I literally couldn’t stand up. Did your school allow you to have pain medicine on you?: >> I don’t know. I didn’t... like, realise I could take that and solve the problem. (I don’t know. I told y’all my development was skewed. But also, my dad never thought to buy me painkillers, either??? Hmm.) Did your school have a nurse?: >> Yeah. When was the last time you threw up?: >> A month ago or so. Have you ever tried to starve yourself in order to lose weight?: >> No. Do you ever comfort eat?: >> Occasionally. Have you ever thrown your phone across the room in anger?: >> Yeah. Raven (an ex) made me upset and I threw my phone across my studio apartment. Samsungs have always been tough, though. What was the name of your first crush?: >> Non-celebrity? Damned if I remember. Who was your first celebrity crush?: >> Matt Damon. How old were you when you lost your virginity?: >> Seventeen. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?: >> Abstinence by default. What is your sexual orientation?: >> I’m oriented towards sex. Have you ever questioned your sexuality?: >> Sure. I was raised to believe that I had to be a straight female. At some point, I had to question that, because as you can see, it turned out to be fucking false. Are you happy with your gender?: >> I’m happy not having one, yes. What gender do you identify as?: >> I don’t. What gender were you born as?: >> I wasn’t born as a gender. But I get what you mean, and female is what I was assigned. Do you identify as “religious”?: >> Sure, just not in the way that most people do. Do you identify as “spiritual”?: >> I suppose. What spirituality are you?: >> I’m not “a” spirituality. That’s not how it works by my ken. Have you ever tried drugs?: >> Sure. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication?: >> I don’t think so. I tried hydrocodone and I didn’t feel any different. Have you ever been drunk?: >> Yeah. Have you ever smoked pot?: >> Yeah. Have you ever smoked a cigarette?: >> Yeah. What’s your favorite drug?: >> I don’t know anymore, lol. After these long-term effects started manifesting, my relationship with drugs changed drastically. I’m not even sure about trying anything new without a trip-sitter now, and I used to be perfectly fine without one. Going todash will fuck your perception and ability to self-regulate (regulate one’s connection with reality, I mean) way up. What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?: >> Absinthe. How old are you?: >> 31. Do you drink regularly?: >> Sure. Are/were you abused?: >> Yeah. Do you have a significant other? If yes, are you happy in your current relationship? If not, are you happy being single right now?: >> I am happy with my current relationships, yes. Do you want a significant other?: >> I have significant others. Do I want another one? I’m not actively looking for another (especially not around fuckin here), but stranger things have happened. Do you take drugs or drink to numb your pain? >> No, I take them to eradicate my boredom. Who is your current crush?: >> I mean, I have all kinds of crushes. Who is your current friend crush?: >> I don’t have one. Has a friend ever broken your heart?: >> No, but trying to keep a friendship going has definitely made my life hell for a while until I realised it was pointless. Is your love life history tragic or magical?: >> Hm. Do you have regrets?: >> Nah. Do you prefer tampons or pads?: >> Pads. I mean, I don’t like them per se, but tampons exacerbate my cramps and I’m not crazy about the whole insertion process, so. Lesser evil. Have you ever used a tampon?: >> Mhm. What’s your bra size?: >> I don’t remember. A something-B. Do you have a hard time finding bras in your size?: >> No. Can you still wear clothes from the children’s section?: >> No. I might be small but I’m nowhere near narrow or straight-lined enough for children’s clothes. Are you lonely?: >> Often. Do you have allergies?: >> No. Are you in control?: >> Of what? Do you have a relationship with God?: >> I have a relationship with at least one god. What size pants do you wear?: >> Around a 30W. Do you wear girls, juniors, or women’s clothes more?: >> I don’t really know. I think I fit women’s sizes best, but mostly I don’t shop in stores that have sections of that nature, so. Do you HATE people who are controlling?: >> It can be tiresome. How old were you when you started to have acne?: >> Thirteen, more or less. Did your parents give you “the talk”?: >> No. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty?: >> He... didn’t. Do you like going to the doctor?: >> Nope. Do you like going to the dentist?: >> Nope. What’s your favorite part of going to the dentist?: >> There isn’t one, the whole thing is no fun. Do you feel average?: >> No. Do you feel insecure?: >> About some things, but not most things. Do you feel alone?: >> No, because I’m literally never alone. Do you feel exhausted?: >> No. Do you feel depressed?: >> No. Do you feel anxious?: >> No. Are you haunted by your past?: >> No. Who’s your best friend?: >> Hm. How often do you pray?: >> I don’t. Sometimes I say things to Wednesday. Is that prayer??? I don’t even know how this shit works, I’m flying blind here. Do you keep a journal or diary?: >> Collectively, my dreamwidth, instagram, facebook, and tumblr all function as a multimedia cross-platform diary. Do you relate to the characters in books?: >> Sure, sometimes. Who’s your favorite Disney princess?: >> SHURI Do you think you are attractive?: >> Yeah, but I don’t think other people think I’m attractive. (I mean, I guess some people do. It’s hard to believe, and I think that has to do more with my whole thing about feeling sexually dysfunctional and incompatible than it has to do with what people actually think. Like, it’s this whole ball of really fucked-up yarn.) Are you happy with the way you look?: >> I suppose. Do you look more like your mom or your dad?: >> *shrug* How many siblings do you have?: >> Five. What song describes your life?: >> There isn’t one song that does. Do you cry a lot?: >> Nah. Are you sensitive?: >> In some fashion, but not necessarily in the fashion that people mean when they call someone sensitive. Do you take medication every day?: >> No. Do you take vitamins?: >> No. Are you a meat-eater, or are you vegan or vegetarian?: >> I’m somewhere in the middle, where it makes the most sense to be. What’s your favorite color?: >> Gold. Are you unique?: >> Sure. Do you feel blessed?: >> I’m not sure. Who is your favorite person?: >> ME ~*~*~ idfk, man. Has your favorite person ever hurt your feelings?: >> I hurt my own feelings all the time, that’s just how being a human is, mang Do you write in cursive or print more?: >> Print, because of legibility. Cursive is easier for me because of the flow, but the legibility is questionable. Do you like to write?: >> I love to write. Do you like to read?: >> Sure. What are your favorite types of books to read?: >> Nonfiction (science, philosophy, sociology, etc), science fiction, fantasy, horror, I don’t know. Do you have neat handwriting?: >> Ehh. It used to be a lot neater but now my muscles are unused to it. List three people you who you think are good role models. >> Hm. List three fashion trends you love. >> Hm. Are you a trendsetter?: >> Not on purpose. Do you like fashion?: >> I mean... I guess? I like clothes? Do you enjoy shopping?: >> No. I enjoy the obtaining of things I like, but not the process of obtaining it. What stereotype do you fit the most?: >> I don’t know. The Mystic/Psychotic? Is that a stereotype, or at least a trope? Because that’s how I see myself. Are you your own person?: >> I am not even a person, my guy. Are you a risk-taker?: >> Sometimes. Do you feel free to be yourself? If not, why?: >> Not all the time, but I try to focus on the times when I do. (I don’t always feel free to be myself because I often feel like a wild fey creature trying to play the part of a well-adjusted and mildly socially-acceptable construct, and I don’t believe that people in my life actually fully understand that about me. Like, I do my best to keep playing the part, but sometimes it chafes really hard, and I react to that sometimes. Do you like fantasy better than reality?: >> I don’t draw a line between the two. Never really have. Do you have “female problems”?: >> I have spider-god problems. Because they’re my problems, and I am a spider-god, therefore they are spider-god problems. What are you longing for?: >> A ride on Paul Bettany. (I just saw Solo, all right.) Have you ever contemplated suicide?: >> Yeah.
Have you ever self-harmed?: >> Yeah. How many people have you known who were suicidal?: >> Several. Do you get bullied constantly?: >> Not now. Are people jealous of you?: >> I don’t know? If you’re a worshipper, how do you worship?: >> Horizontally. How many tattoos do you have, and what are they of? Do your tattoos have personal meaning to you? If you don’t have any tattoos, do you want one?: >> I only have three small ones, because the money doesn’t flow like that around these parts. One is the number 19 in Roman numerals, one is the Mannaz rune, and one is “scully, it’s me”; and yes, they all have personal relevance to me. Do you have your ears pierced?: >> Yeah. Do you have any other piercings? If not, do you want any other piercings?: >> Septum. What is your first and middle name, and do you like them?: >> Logan Frey. Yeah, they’re good. What do you want to name your first daughter?: >> Hm. What would you name a son?: >> Hm. Do you dream about your wedding day?: >> No. What’s your favorite food?: >> A lot. Do you have a secret you want to tell someone?: >> No. Have you ever had a friend turn on you?: >> Yeah. List three friends who have turned on you. >> Hm. List three people who have bullied you. >> Why? Do you have anyone you can trust?: >> I guess. What country do you live in?: >> USA. What’s your favorite pain reliever?: >> Hmm. What do you do for cramps?: >> Take naproxen as soon as I feel them. Pray. Do you wear make-up?: >> Occasionally. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know?: >> Hm. Do you have a lot of people blocked on facebook?: >> I don’t know that I have anyone blocked on fb. What is your natural hair color?: >> Dark brown. Do you have a morning routine?: >> Not particularly.
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pFF okay these are going under a cut-
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
Honestly I’m not confused at this moment so let’s go for like.. confused in general
I?? would date females?? they are cute? i have crushed on females before??? and yet i still like.. feel more attracted to men and feel like im straight? idk if this is???? a thing??????? i know my mom is attracted to some females romantically too so i just assume its a thing for straight people idfk sexuality is so fucking confusing ajhflkjsl
2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
Nope!
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
Yeah, I think I would? idk it makes me uncomfortable
4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
Honestly? I feel like i shouldn’t but i do anyway
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
Falling asleep to Full House on the hotel tv ^^
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
Probably some stray cat I picked up along the way and claimed as my own
7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
It would probably be really heartbreaking to be perfectly honest. Like, putting your love and trust into this person, willingly placing your heart into their hands, and they toss it away as if it had no real meaning to them. Idk what I would do, probably cry? Break up? im not sure what one would do in that situation
8: Are you close with your dad?
Yee!!
9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
Nopeo. Unless we’re talking on the cheek. My mom is very affectionate. She attacks us with hugs.
But if you’re talking romantically, I have never had a kiss, ever
10: What are you listening to?
Right now? The fan on my laptop and the clicking of the keys on my keyboard. I have no music on lol
11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
Water. OOOO or bubble tea. prolly bubble tea
12: Do you like hickeys?
Noo ive never gotten one but nooo
13: What time do you go to bed?
Usually? 4-5am
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
Not really??
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
Nah. I’m half-speed with just one thumb
16: Do you always answer your texts?
Sometimes I don’t know how to reply, or don’t have the energy to, so no ^^
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
The person I fell the hardest for is Thomas Sanders
take a good look at my profile and tell me if that seems like hatred to you
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
Couple hours ago ^^
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
Yes!!! I don’t see them physically but @fandergecko, @an-anxious-acquaintance, y o u, @underagecatnip- yeah im not gonna list them all that would take far too long but if ive ever spoken to them, i get so happy to see em
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
I dunno. i was singing along mentally to Bubblegum Bitch, so
21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
I mean... Not physically. I hope not
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
Im gonna be perfectly honest when I say i have no fucking clue what this saying even means
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
No, not really?
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
Yeah.
25: In the past week, have you cried?
I?? think????????? maybe. i got chlorine in my eyes that made me tear up
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
Black! (and gray and white and green and red blue-)
27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
Nope
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
mmaybe? I guess I wouldn’t know lol
29: Do you have a best friend?
Ye!! Multiple!
30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
I have never kissed anyone. so. no-
31: Who was your last call/text message from?
Like proper text message? I havent had one in months
Last call was from my mom
32: Are you mad at anyone?
nnno? I mean, sean is being a little shit and mark is putting his health in danger so im kinda salty but thats the usual
33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
nopee
34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
i dunno my dude
35: How many more days until your birthday?
aHHH
-googles it-
317
36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
Yep! Fourth of July party, tubing trip, Graduation party, possible trips to my grandmother’s, that’s about it
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
Ummmmmmm
I believe? I’m gonna be totally honest and say males do tend to freak me out a bit. I have an irrational fear of guys, so i have no real irl friends that are dudes
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
i dont think so?
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
i just thought of one, but then i realized, nope, i told it to my friends, dammit
uh
i cannot keep secrets to save my life, i had an anxiety attack the last time i tried to hold a secret. Lasted maybe a month before I broke down in tears because of my guilty conscious. I cannot keep secrets
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
still never kissed anyone my guy
41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
YES
42: Are you available?
I am available in the sense that i am single, but not in the sense i am looking for anyone lol
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
Im still in it my dude
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
I already have ear piercings so-
Probably like.. nose piercing? or eyebrow? idk
45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
Yeah!!! My divorced parents are living proof of that! My mom, her husband, and my dad just got back from a vacation together. Everyone’s very close!!
46: Do you regret anything?
I regret how I handled some past things.
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
Multiple things, lemme list em-
1. The cheetos i have next to me
2. How I really wish I could be less of a fucking douche all the time
3. Katy Perry’s song ‘Peacock’
4. Thomas Sanders
48: Did you ever lose a best friend?
No ^^
49: Was your last kiss a mistake?
I mean.. it wasnt anyone-
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
WELL FRIEND
1. He’s 29
2. He’s gay
3. He lives in Florida
4. HE’S 29
51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
i feel like a lot of these are not for me considering ive never kissed anyone
52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
technically i last kissed the spoon of crofters in my living room. no
53: What was the last thing you ate?
Cheetos!!
54: Did you get any compliments today?
Yep ^^
55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
Tubing trip bitches im ready to see my family get drunk at 12 in the afternoon and push each other in the river while blaring country music
56: Do you own anything from other countries?
I mean. All my items are from china, basically-
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?
Girls ^^ But I have a lot of non-binary friends too!!
58: Where have you lived most of your life?
Michigan, the Lake-y Hell(tm)
59: When was the last time you took a long drive?
Roughly six hours ago
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
Nopee
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
Nuh-uh!
62: Who do you text the most?
@underagecatnip ^^
63: What was the last movie you saw?
Oof, um.. I think it was Black Panther
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
The fact I never had one is a pretty huge thing
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?
2011..? Let’s see, I was.. what, 8 years old? so none
66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
its a spoonful of crofters-
67: Do you curse around your parents?
Nah, not allowed to curse until I move out ^^
68: Are you happy with where you live?
Ye!
69: Picture of yourself?
70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
I believe in open-ended relationships!! Why not?
71: Have you ever been dumped?
Never dated, so nope ^^
72: What do you most like about making out?
Picturing it being done very angrily between Roman and Logan-
73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?
Nop
74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
I mean it’ll hopefully be me when it does happen, I hate not having control in situations-
75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?
Hair? Usually??? like if they have floofy hair im like n i c e and if its purple im like n I C E and if its swooshy and soft-looking im like N I C E and if its on the head of thomas sanders im like N I C E
76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
My dad, cause he was the last one awake in the hotel room lol
77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
Boi, I’ve never dated,, never kissed,,, im 15- do you really think i’d have sex
78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
n o p e
79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
logince-
80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
I mean?? idk?????? maybe
81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?
Actually yes!! But after it was long gone lol
82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
I love to announce it and ramble on about it, yes. I love bringing it to attention. i’m like Roman
83: Do you miss your last sweetie?
Yes he was a very good bunny i loved him sm his name was Swiss Roll
84: Last time you slow danced with someone?
never have
85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?
Nah
86: How can I win your heart?
Don’t be a little bitch-
87: What is your astrological sign?
Pisces! I’m a fuschia blood!!
88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
Sleepin
89: Do you cook?
Nooo-
90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?
Nope
91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
Not really? I guess it would depend on the person, if we’re talking in general then not at all, but if it’s someone I have crushed/am currently crushing on, then it’d be great, cause I know them and their personality and yeah keep in mind he’s 29 and gay, me
92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?
Idk??? never done eITHER-
93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
Brown eyes cause I’m weirdly attracted to people with brown eyes
94: Name four things that you wish you had!
1. Sleep
2. Motivation
3. Intelligence
4. a pair of socks would be nice
95: Are you a player?
Yes I play a lot of video games, such as Minecraft-
96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?
I once kissed my mom on the cheek and then my cat’s head
97: Are you a tease?
I tease a lot about future fics yes
98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?
No!! and that makes me sad!!!! i wanna meet themmm
99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?
Apparently I was in genuine love with Thomas Sanders, idfk i cant identify these things
100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
I have listed these before but like.. crankgameplays, markiplier, therealjacksepticeye, thatsthat24, tallykat3, thejoanglebook-
101: Hugs or Kisses?
Hugs!!
102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?
Oh yeah i would be 10000%
103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Hair, usually
104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
Personally I find it creepy unless said in like.. a joking kind of way
105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?
No?? why would you even
106: Do you flirt a lot?
I’ve been told I do unintentionally. i’m sorry
107: Your last kiss?
My cat’s fuzzy lil head
108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?
I’ve kissed so many cute animals dude
109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?
My cat!!
110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
Are we talking real people cause I would love to smooch a newfoundland doggo
I mean, probably thomas cause ive fallen pretty hard for him
111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
My cat-
112: Does someone like you currently?
I?? dunno?????? like i really do not know nobody tells me s o
113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?
ThOmAs SaNdErS (HoNk :o))
114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
serious relationships preferably
115: Ever made out with just a friend?
nopeo
116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?
I’ve only ever been single, sooo-
117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.
You didn’t give me a question to answer, so i’m just gonna say I love Thomas Sanders fuck the world
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Saaahh void? Low key hella anxious, and I can’t tell if it’s because I need food, am dehydrated, the caffeine from my latte earlier is only now just hitting me, I’m stressed about work I’ve been procrastinating, or a some combination of the factors listed above. So, as such, I’ll keep it brief lol
- got to do another football game, was a lot of fun, didn’t get groped, felt like I didn’t do as well as the first one but still ok. Didn’t feel like I was about to pass out which is a vibe lol
- doing a basketball game this weekend, kinda pumped, hope I do well. I’m escorting one tomorrow to see how it’s done
- got to ride in a fire truck hell yeah lol that was so cool
- finally convinced Carl to set a date for one of our date ideas lol I ended up being like “you know, when are we going to actually pick a day to do all this stuff” and he was like “I know I know, I just want to get done with this semester. How about ___________?” So I guess he /technically/ chose the date? Lol But my impatient ass had to call him out on it lol We’re going to watch Once Upon a Time in Hollywood at his place, which 😳😬 High key was not expecting to go to his place as the first date lol 10/10 expected to go skating or something, but hey, he chose it, and I fucking asked for it so I get to shut up and not be a pussy about it 😂😂 I really shouldn’t be hyping this up so much, neither of us have called it a date, so to the world it’s just 2 friends watching a movie lol But we both know what it really is lol Aaaaaaaaaaah now my overthinking ass is stressed about about it and worrying about the implications of everything (including but not limited to: what is our team’s policy on people dating? Do we tell our team? What if it doesn’t work out? What if it’s worse than last time and it just fucking hurts? What if it’s awkward????) But. I’m trying lol I’m trying to not think about it and not get ahead of myself. Aside from calling each other cute through tiktoks sent to each other that’s kind of it. And we act chill in front of the team anyway, so idfk. Nothings even happened yet. Chill. Stop thinking about it. You’re a dumbass lol (but it’s been so long since I’ve dated anyone. What even are the normal expectations of dating someone? My last relationship was long distance, and this wouldn’t be, so what does that look like? I don’t want to off load all my baggage on him, but I also don’t want it to be a middle school relationship? I don’t know, how do you adult date?? What are his expectations???? Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh)
- alright, that’s enough worrying for tonight. I spent my 5-10 minutes worrying about it, now it’s time to get a shower and maybe a snack lol or a glass of water lol night winner 💪🏻
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About me tag
I was tagged by @topssi. Thanks for tagging me!!! I actually really wanted to do this one!!
1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better
@silirial, @mainhoonemily, @castielsinwhite, @sweetana92, @momomikan, @fangirl-2007, @fxxkitup, @gotsoulmates, @ttaeyng. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to !!
2ND RULE: Fill in the categories
APPEARANCE: Hmmm... brown hair and brown eyes... hella pale skin... glasses... a bright smile... tall-ish... on the curvier side lol.
PERSONALITY: Introverted, passionate as hell about Certain Things, quite rational when it comes to helping others with their problems but heavily guided by emotions when they’re my own, an odd sense of humour and an imagination to match, a Worrier, an OverThinker, an Open Book... every emotion I ever feel ever shows right on my damn face rip. .... I’ve been told there’s something about me that glows ?? idfk.
ABILITY: I’m always aware of how people feel around me and I sort of absorb those emotions... like if someone else is anxious or angry I just absorb that right up and the feelings become my own... almost... too empathetic aha. Hmm I’ve always been pretty smart... I’m unexpectedly good at contemporary dance.. or at least I was lmao.
HOBBIES: Reading (mostly fanfiction rip), listening to music and doing sudoku or some other logic puzzle, gif making...
EXPERIENCES: I tend to hold myself back from a lot of things... I think too much... so in terms of experience I don’t have much except in regard to like school stuff aha.
MY LIFE: Is getting much better. I’m on a good path right now.
RELATIONSHIPS: My irl ones are good, but I wish some of my online friends lived closer... Its hard to meet people now that I’m out of school... I’m lonely tbh...
RANDOM STUFF: I really like odd looking animals and knick knacks... they make me really happy lmao.
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92 truths
I was tagged by @tory-b
Last
Drink: Dr.Pepper Phone call: To check the balance on a gift card, $1.32 Text message: I don’t text so Song you listened to: Good for you from Dear Evan Hansen Time you cried: Yesterday
Have you ever
Dated someone twice: Nope. Once I break up with someone I cut the ties so fast. Been cheated on: Yep.. Kissed someone and regretted it: I’ve only ever kissed one person and that was my ex boyfriend so Lost someone special: Of course. Been depressed: I mean that’s kinda my trademark in my town, the depressed suicidal one...yep.G Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never had alcohol before and i’m underage anyway.
List 3 favorite colors
Green Purple Black
In the last year have you
Made new friends: Yep! Fallen out of love: I honestly don’t think i’ve ever been on love so Laughed until you cried: I did that today Found out someone was talking about you: Yep Met someone who changed you: I don’t think so Found out who your true friends are: I hope so, i’m tired of getting hurt.. Kissed someone on your facebook list: Nah son
General
How many facebook friends do you know it real life: All but like 3 maybe Do you have any pets: 7 cats and 3 dogs. Do you want to change your name: I’ve thought about it, but nah What did you do for your last birthday: Since it was my 18th we went to the casino What time did you wake up:...4 pm, oh boy back at it again with the depression shit hoooooooooooo...Yep What were you doing last night at midnight: I think I was making instagram edits Name something you cannot wait for: I was gonna say death, but i think that would make to many people worry if they didn’t know me well so i’ll say my birthday. When was the last time you saw your Mother: Two hours ago What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My depression would be on existent What are you listening to right now: Love Runs Out by OneRepublic Have you ever talked to anyone named Tom: I don’t think so. Something that is getting on your nerves: Being seen as over emotional Elementary: ...I’d rather not talk about my school life... High school: Glad i’m graduated and away from that hell College: I only went for a semester and it wasn’t to bad Hair color: My natural dark brown hair Long hair or short hair: My hair is short, like there is no length to it except for my bangs. Do you have a crush on someone: I don’t let myself have crushes.. What do you like about yourself: Nothing. I absolutely hate every inch of myself... Piercings: Just my ears Blood type: Can’t remember Nicknames: Most people just call me Lace, but online friends call me Pidgey Relationship status: Single and will probably stay that way forever knowing my trust issues Zodiac sign: Cancer Pronouns: They/Them Favorite TV show: I don’t watch TV often Tattoos: Two. One on my right lower inner arm and the other on my inner left wrist Right or left handed: Right Surgery: Almost had to have it, but no Piercing: I already answered this? Best friend: @gladelockwood Sports: I like tennis and softball, that’s about it. Vacation: I wanna go to Tokyo, Japan. Pair of trainers: ? Huh
Right now
Eating: Nothing Drinking: Dr.Pepper I’m about to: Watch Jack’s last outlast video Listening to: Same old war by our last night Waiting for: Nothing Want to: Disappear Get married: Nobody would marry me Career: I scoop ice cream
Which is better
Hugs or kisses: I’m not partial to either unless I know the person well enough Lips or eyes: Uh...Idfk eyes? Shorter or taller: I don’t care Older or younger: I go by the four year rule Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic I guess? Nice arms or nice stomach: Why the fuck does it matter? Sensitive or loud: Sensitive, if someone is loud I get anxious and/or annoyed Hookup or relationship: Relationship, i’m demisexual so hookups are a no go for me. Troublemaker or Hesitant: I kinda like the troublemaker type, feel like they would help me out of my shell
Have you ever
Kissed a stranger: Nope Drank hard liquor: No Lost glasses/contact lenses: Seeing as i’m blind without them, no. Turned someone down: yes Sex on the first date: No. Just no. Broken someone’s heart: Doubt it Had your own heart broken: Too many times to count. Been arrested: Nope. Cried when someone died: Yes Fallen for a friend: Once and though we got together he broke it off because I was too emotional for him...yep Do you believe in
Yourself: No. Miracles: No. Love at first sight: No. Santa clause: No. Kiss on the first date: Unless it feels right, if not then it’s a no. Angels: I’m agnostic so who knows man.
Other’s
Current best friends name: Helen Eye color: Blue/green/gray Favorite movie: Tangled
Not gonna tag anyone
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I didn’t even realize I got tagged by @herr-hornhead smh. tumblr needs a better way to see if you’re tagged
the last:
drink: Coctor Pepper phone call: my mom text message: i don’t have a phone to text with.. song you listened to: The full version of the First Pokemon intro song. time you cried: today while watching War for the Planet of the Apes. dated someone twice: never? I’ve only been in 1 relationship and it’s still fine so. kissed someone and regretted it: never; ain’t ever kissed anyone been cheated on: never lost someone special: in middle school my grandparents’ old tuxedo cat died been depressed: uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk a lot lmao gotten drunk and thrown up: never; ain’t ever took more than a taste of alcohol and Never Again
3 favorite colors:
CHROME YELLOW, electric indigo, and pink
in the last year have you: made new friends: i’m always making new friends where do i get them all fallen out of love: nah laughed until you cried: probably found out someone was talking about you: no? i sure hope no one is. met someone who changed you: probably found out who your real friends are: idk??????? kissed someone on your facebook list: don’t got a facebook and don’t kiss no one so naw x2 combo
general: how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: n/a do you have any pets: 3 cats. Chester, Chickenwing, and Rayne do you want to change your name: yeah wanna change it to Jovan. what did you last do for your birthday: Eat ice cream cake. what time did you wake up: 2 pm what were you doing at midnight last night: probs playing Pokemon Moon. name something you can’t wait for: idk maybe otakon this weekend??? when was the last time you saw your mom: hhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn a fuckin longass time ago i ain’t even remember what are you listening to right now: the.. pokemon theme song.. and also Pokemon Moon in the bg lmao it’s on but I ain’t playin’ it have you ever talked to a person named tom: no?? WAIT. ACTUALLY. YEAH! my one aunt’s kinda boyfriend???????? idrk tbh but. it took me a bit because everyone calls him tommy and i forgot that that has tom in it. something that is getting on your nerves: i know i’m gonan sound like an asshole but tbh the flood of bhna on my dash?? liek i feel rude saying it but i’m weird when things get popular. i either love it or hate it and no real in between?? sometimes i switch but... most visited website: probably this piece of shit website hair color: brown hair length:
Jupiter’s haircut. do you have a crush on someone: yeah my fucking matesprit @snake-the-fleshboy (jrnfd i mean it’s gender neutral :’0D) what do you like about yourself: idk my hair?? uhh. my face. my fuckin. art. piercings: my ears. (i almost fuckin typo’d “my eyes” which sounds horrifying) blood type: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq3abPnEEGE nickname: anythign from this: The Mirthful Motherfucking Messiahs Pungeon Master Mayo[r] Gabi Gabu Gabo Gabby Vabby Z Volt Bolt Junoza Jupiter Zeus Sansational McSanic THE CAR Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen SNoW-Komrade Dicktatertot of Russia Space Ace Couch Clown Gomzay Makara I. relationship status: yeah zodiac: taurus-aries cusp (first day of taurus) pronouns: he/him or they/them favorite tv show: uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... if you mean thing that airs on TV uhh. How the Universe Works. :’0D I don’t watch like. a lot of stuff on TV tbh. tattoos: none left or right handed: right surgery: haven’t had any yet but i gott aget my bottom wisdom teeth taken out also gonan get top surgery one day sport: NO (I mean I don’t like doing sports but i fuckin love watching ice skating tho and get so fuckin anxious ppl gonan fall)
more general: eating: i wish, but nah, nothin’. drinking: doctor pepper i’m about to eat: idk i might get some chips now that food was mentioned waiting for: my own damn self to realize it’s Late O’Clock and then get to bed as the sun rises, probably. want: to write a list of stuff i want for my mom get married: idk lmao career: i wanan be a fuckin animator
which is better: hugs or kisses: hugs lips or eyes: eyes i guess shorter or taller: this is so hard this is like puttign my 2 fav characters together and making me pick but i guess since i liek to be taller than ppl i’ll say shorter older or younger: ?????????????????? nice arms or nice stomach: i......... idk. hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. i’m too fuckin’ passive and anxious for that troublemakin’ shit.
have you ever: kissed a stranger: hell the fuck no drank hard liquor: hell the fuck no lost glasses/contact lenses: nope. don’t got ‘em turned someone down: nope. had sex on first date: hell the fuck no broke someone’s heart: don’t think so at least had your heart broken: no been arrested: no cried when someone died: yeah man i cry at everything why wouldn’t i cry at death fallen for a friend: i only fall for friends so yeah
do you believe in: yourself: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sometimes miracles: maybe?? love at first sight: as a demiromantic i’m v skeptical santa claus: no angels: idk maybe????????
other: eye color: hazel height: 5'5″ favorite thing to do: draw, play viddy game, talk to friends & bae, and uhhh daydream abt gay shit favorite celebrity: uhh i like morgan freeman’s voice so i guess him?? favorite movie: POKEMON 2000. THE FUCKIN- LUGIA MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!! idfk who to tag don’t wanan bother anyone so just- anyone do it mang idc
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