#and verbally expressing what’s upsetting can feel almost painful at times

[lumiilys]

Dyou think that when Stede is sad or having a bad day he just stays quiet? The average person can’t tell he’s not doing good but Ed just knows. His jokes are less enthusiastic, he makes fewer silly comments, and he’s got this faraway look in his eyes. And Ed knows he’s gonna have to ask multiple times before he actually gets Stede to tell him what’s up cause Stede will always just go “yes I’m fine don’t worry just tired ☺️” at first. But eventually when whatever is bothering him comes out he’ll get to spend the rest of the day wrapped up in Ed’s arms.

[a-libra-writes]

Rocky Rickaby x gn or fem reader who is really REALLY physically affectionate headcannons? Like i'm talking giving him a nice smooch on the lips from time to time for no reason, hugging and or cuddling Rocky when they or he wants sum and giving him small pecks and kisses on his forehead, cheek, sometimes nose and ALWAYS giving him compliments and words of reassurance when they see that Rocky's feeling a bit down in the dumps. While savagely telling or killing the person off.

I'm totally normal abt him bro dw

Okay so I got MANY requests for a Part 2 on the first Rocky HCs, so Im using this as a jumping off point! Lots of affectionate GN Reader in here, and i have. So many thoughts. So lets goooo

Obviously ... Rocky loves all this attention. When he initially started crushing on you, any attention was good and wanted, but especially the smiles and approving words. The best part in those early months was the fussing. Since he's always in some kind of state, you'd call Rocky over to smooth coat or tidy some leaves out of his hair.

He'd actually keep still, too excited and surprised to think of moving while your hands pawed over him - even if it just lasted a few seconds. At some point you'd clean dirt (or was that blood?) off his face with one of your hankerchiefs, and you better believe he always "forgot" to return it. Maybe if he knew you'd be at the cafe, he wouldn't fix himself up, hoping you might be inclined to do it instead. Maybe.

Anytime you initiated some closer form of contact - first the fussing, then maybe touching his face, then perhaps hugging - he always freezes for just a second, then immediately accepts and melts into it. And after that, he's more than happy to initiate the same kind of affection.

It's almost like Rocky needs to "wait" for permission, to have someone else cross that line first. Like he isn't allowed to, or rather - the wait is better than potential rejection. This is doubly so if you're more of a posh cat, or perhaps someone whose more closed off. Impulsive and adoring as he is, the thought of frightening you away or you being repulsed by him is too painful a thought. Once you make it clear that he can "cross" a new line in the relationship, he practically leaps over it. As time goes on he won't have these worries nearly as much. They're mostly subconscious, too - an anxiety he can't figure or name, and he'd rather not dwell on it.

Honestly, if you aren't a physically affectionate person, it'll be tough. Rocky really thrives off it and sees it as an affirmation of your feelings, though he soaks up the praise and loving words, being physically close, held and accepted just hits different. And ... combining both the physical and verbal affection? Yeah, he's just. Doe-eyed and lovestruck. It's both sweet and a little sad how desperately happy it makes him.

Your loving words don't even have to be anything effusive or overly romantic - simple appreciation for when he helps you out (or tries to), daily "I love you"s, complimenting something about him, expressing happiness at spending time with him, it all goes straight to his heart and his head. If he goes too long without it, Rocky will prompt you for praise and attention. Before you two were a couple, Ivy teased him about it - "You're always looking for them to pat you on the head!" Yes, and what of it? If you're someone whose older or at least seemed more mature and collected, your approval only matters all the more, as is his desire to impress you.

This also means if you're ever upset or cross with him, he takes it to heart as well. Icing him out, trying to do the silent treatment, etc seriously messes with him. Rocky will completely blame himself and spiral and it won't be pretty, so it's best to resolve the fights maturely and with a level head. Yes, he tries to act like he isn't hurt or terrified you'll leave. It's an act, and a poor one at that.

Since he's so noodly, it's easy to wrap your arms around Rocky's torso for a big hug! He loves it, of course, he'll return the favor and lift you right up (or ... try to, anyway). He'll even (try to) spin you around! If you let him, Rocky will just stay clinging and lean on you, inquiring about your day and what you're up to. He likes to rest his chin on your shoulder or your head, his tail happily whapping at your leg while he chatters.

He'd really love it if you just let him curl up in your arms on a couch or something - seriously, when's the last time he's had that? It's almost a novel experience, and even better if you're a bigger and floofier cat! He'll have moments of disbelief that this is real, that you're allowing it and you want the clingy sleepy snuggles. Sometimes he falls asleep because you're so comfy and warm. Again, when is the last time he's had a warm, safe and cozy place to sleep? When ??

(Semi-related note, he can fall asleep in the weirdest positions and places. Years of being homeless will do that.)

Oh! And the kisses. Kisses are good, they are great. Even the little ones on the cheek or his brow. He's not totally shameless so any lingering or deeper kisses in private (and ofc if you're masc, that's just safer). I mean he could just kiss and hug you forever, he just gets drunk on all the affection and love. Definiately the sort of person to just make out and be totally content; he'll get pretty cheeky and bitey, too. If you have a tickle spot, look out. It will be found. Also, if he's already in a manic-happy mood, expect random lines of poetry between the kisses.

(Zib always notices when there's lovebites or lipstick left on him and comments on it. Rocky almost never notices but !! It makes him oddly happy, even as he immediately covers/cleans up.)

Also if you go on bootlegging jobs with him, there's probably a "no PDA until certain danger has passed" rule because of uh, certain past incidents. If you two start getting touchy-feely then Freckle coughs VERY loudly and tries not to die of embarrassment.

Even when you two are in a situation where there can't be any PDA - maybe you're masc presenting, maybe you're in front of friends who don't approve or you're in a "business" meeting with some sketchy sorts - He still wants to stand very close, shoulder-to-shoulder. Rocky isn't aware how much he'll touch your shoulder, pat your head, pat your back, and so on.

Alas, he can't play his violin for you while smooching and hugging. He still likes to hum melodies to work on later. Looking at you just makes them pop into his head. That means cuddling isn't this serene quiet thing, you two are chattering or he's humming something against your skin. Oh, and he's great at remembering your favorite songs, whether they're folksy, jazz, classical - he has the range!

Since you're around him so often, you'll notice when Rocky's happy-go-lucky mask begins to slip. He'd try even harder to keep it up around you, not wanting to "scare" you off, but no one can keep that momentum up forever. You'll have to reassure him, many times, that he doesn't have to pretend around you. If he's troubled, he should tell you. It's going to take time (and probably a life threatening injury) before you get the full extent of his loneliness and fears. He's been burying it for years, after all. Slowly, he'll bring up bits of his past and his parents, but you won't get much unless he's under the influence or wounded.

It's been said before but, yes, it's obvious to anyone with a pulse how much he adores you. Some people he knows don't even know you're name because he always refers to you as his angel from on high, his auspicious muse, his grandest sweetheart, his Helen of Troy, so on and so forth. It's just. endless. If you're a more high-class sort of person, and/or someone whose very level-headed or serious, they don't hide their surprise to learn you two are together. There might be blunt questions, like what do you see in him. He won't admit it, but those inquiries do hurt Rocky's feelings, albeit he laughs it off. He's quite happy if you stick up for him and express that you're very happy with him, thank you very much.

So, yes. You have this particular bootlegging music-playing poetry-reciting man around your finger. Treat him well and don't let him go off and do stupid things for your sake. If you asked anything of Rocky, he'd do it in a heartbeat, but that sort of intense devotion isn't always in his interest. Maybe that devotion gets a little obsessive, especially on his insecure days. A more steady and mature partner would help pump the breaks on that, while someone more on his wavelength would uh .... Well, it'd be absolutely chaotic, but at least it'd be fun?

[builtbybrokenbells]

22 jake 🫶🏻

Doing each others hair

w/c: 1.7k

pairing: jake x reader

warnings: one innuendo, fluff 🫶🏻

sorry this took so long!! i hope you enjoy it, thank you so much for requesting ♥️

Prompt list here

“Hold still,” you whispered, collecting the strands of hair that had fallen from your hand.

“I am.” Jake argued, finally realizing what he’d gotten himself into. You gently raked your fingers through his hair, combing out any knots that had formed. He was sitting on the floor, nestled between your legs as you sat on the edge of the couch cushion.

“You are not.” You scolded, parting his hair into three sections.

“Stop complaining.”

“Me?” You asked, incredulously. “I just started and you haven’t stopped arguing with me.” He let out a chuckle, knowing you were right but hating to admit it. You took to the top of his head, holding his hair by the roots and beginning to braid it.

“You were the one who wanted to do this.” He reminded, unable to keep his thoughts to himself.

“And you agreed.”

“I can change my mind.”

“You won’t, because you love me too much.” You hummed, pulling new sections of his hair into the braid. “Plus, you’ll look so pretty.” You realized after the words left your mouth that it didn’t matter what you did to his hair; he was already gorgeous, and nothing could change that.

“I do love you,” he agreed, fighting the urge to nod his head. “But you’re being a pain in the ass.”

“You say that like you aren’t one, too.” Just as you said so, his head began to tilt downwards again. You peeked over his shoulder, noticing his phone turned on and his attention now focused on it. You held the braid in place with one hand and leaned forward. You reached your other hand over him, grabbing the device and tossing it on the couch cushion. He turned back to look at you, ready to protest your actions. “Just for ten minutes. Please?” He caught your eye, softening at the sight of your expression.

“Fine, but when you’re finished, I get to do yours.” His request was not blasphemous, but you did feel a flash of unease at the idea. Although you trusted him, you were not totally confident in his hairstyling abilities. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer. After a moment, you gave a nod, wondering if you would regret your decision. A smile graced his lips, happy at your agreement. He strained his neck back a little further, silently begging you to kiss him. You leaned down a bit more, pressing your lips to his. Once you did so, both of you seemed to forget the lighthearted arguments.

“It won’t take too long. Just relax.” You promised. He gave you another kiss in place of a verbal answer. You smiled against him, knowing as annoyed as you could be with him, it was never really genuine. You had been pestering him to let you style his hair for months, but he always refused to give in. When you asked this time, you were fully expecting a rejection. When he said yes, you wasted no time getting to work before he could back out of the agreement, leading to the current situation. You couldn’t be too upset with him and his protests, because you were just happy he allowed you to do it.

You straightened up, gently guiding his head to the right position, and worked as fast as you could. Although he made a promise to comply, you knew it wouldn’t last long. Trying to get Jake to stay still was on par with trying to contain a toddler. He was much more calm than his brothers, but that was still far from ideal. Once you’d braided all the way to the ends of his hair, you slipped the elastic off your wrist and looped it around the tuft of hair at the bottom. You smoothed out the few stray hairs on the top of his head, giving a smile of triumph.

“Are you done?” He asked, noticing the lack of touch on his head.

“Almost.” You said, looking frantically around the room. Your eyes landed on the vase of flowers you had set out the night previously. You stood, making your way over to them and grabbed a few smaller blooms. As you returned to him, you shortened and cleaned up the stems. Instead of sitting behind him again, you kneeled beside him and carefully slipped one behind his ear. You took the other two and weaved them into the braid, delighted at the outcome. “Now I’m done.” He looked up to you, unimpressed at your accessories, but the look on your face made it hard for him to be anything other than happy, too. The small act had given you an overwhelming sense of joy, and it was rubbing off on him as well.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” He smiled as he spoke. He snaked his arm around you and pulled you into his lap in a swift motion. You adjusted your position, placing your legs on either side of him to make it more comfortable for both of you. He took your cheek in his hand and brought you in to another kiss.

“Can I take a picture?” You asked once you parted with him. He watched you, unresponsive for a moment, but eventually gave an eye roll along with a nod.

“Only one. And you can’t show anyone, ever.”

“M’gonna get it framed, actually. I’ll hang it above the T.V. so everyone can see it.” You teased, reaching behind him to grab your phone. He elected not to reply, already plotting his revenge. You pulled up your camera, angling it just right, and snapped a few pictures. At the sound of the third camera shutter, he reached up and grabbed your phone from your hand and tossed it back on the couch, similar to what you had done to him. “Hey!” You exclaimed.

“That sounded like more than one.” In retaliation, you moved to grab it again. Before you could, he sprung to action and leaned forward, limiting your movement and leaving the couch just out of reach. “I don’t think so.” He had his arms wrapped around you, ensuring you wouldn’t fall amidst the struggle. You did your best to wiggle out of his grip, but he was a bit too strong for you to compete with.

“You suck!” You shot the insult through bouts of laughter. He payed no mind to it, instead peppering kisses over your cheeks in attempt to distract you from your mission.

“You don’t mean that.” He said, pulling back just enough to look over your face. The eye contact caused your breath to catch in your throat and your heart to speed in your chest. No matter how many times you found yourself in the position, he never failed to make you swoon. To you, he was the most beautiful thing the world had ever created.

“Of course I don’t.” You breathed, unable to keep up the facade. Now that the energy had died down, he leaned forward again and placed a kiss to your forehead.

“That’s what I thought.” He mumbled, lips still pressed to your skin. “Now, it’s my turn.” You were hesitant to move, still nervous about what exactly he might do to you. He gave you a pointed look, impatience spreading across his features. “You promised.”

“Okay, fine.” You sighed, wiggling out of the position he was holding you in. You turned and settled yourself between his legs, giving him full access to your hair. “Don’t make me regret it.” You warned. He wrapped his arms around your torso, pulling you back into him a little further. He placed a kiss on the top of your head, assuring you that you would be alright. You handed him the elastics you were collecting around your wrist so he could get started.

At first, he gently massaged your scalp with his fingers. You let your eyes flutter closed, an appreciative hum sounding from your chest. Then, he combed his fingers through your hair, smoothing it out and ridding it of any knots. He stopped for a moment, seeming like he was debating his next move, then he gathered all of your hair in his hand. He carefully pulled it all back, ensuring he didn’t miss any stray strands. He tightened his hold just before the top of your head, and slipped an elastic around it. He tightened it and gave you a little pat on the shoulder, letting you know he was finished.

“That’s it?” You asked, reaching to feel what he had done. The only thing he’d done was place a high ponytail, and he didn’t seem to have any intentions of doing anything more.

“Yep.” He confirmed.

“That’s no fun,” you turned, a frown encased on your lips.

“Sure it is.” He gave you a smirk.

“How so?” You raised an eyebrow. He looked incredibly happy you asked.

“I have a few ideas,” he hummed, reaching up and brushing his thumb over your cheek. You didn’t quite catch on to his insinuation until he gently grabbed the ponytail in his fist, holding your head in place with a bit of force. Your eyes widened at the familiarity of the hold, shocked at the vulgarity.

“Jacob!” You scolded. He let out a laugh, finding your shock quite humorous.

“I’m just kidding,” he said, dropping his hand from your head. Instead, he used it to pull your upper half towards him into a hug. It was short-lived, but genuine. When you parted, he took the flower you’d placed behind his ear and put it behind yours, instead. “There.” He smiled. “Absolutely beautiful.”

“I love you.” You whispered.

“I love you, baby.” He brought you into a kiss, both of you savouring the feeling of the intimacy. “But, if you did want to go upstairs-“ you cut him off with a playful shove, knocking him off balance and into the couch. Both of you dissolved into a fit of laughter, attempting to play fight with each other and failing miserably. Eventually, he caught your wrists in his hands, stopping your movement completely. You were a bit breathless, your grin never once leaving your lips. He leaned forward and placed a kiss to the tip of your nose, settling the score and causing a blush to dust across your cheeks.

“It wasn’t so bad, was it?” You asked, finally calming down from the excitement.

“No, it wasn’t.” He conceded.

“You gonna let me do it again, sometime?”

“Never.” He laughed. You only smiled, knowing that he was lying. You were both well aware that if it meant it would make you happy, Jake would go to the ends of the earth, even if he had to sit through the torture of you braiding his hair.

[rivangel]

one reason i think levi has ultimately chosen for his love language to be acts of service - apart from the point where he may struggle with words/verbally conveying feelings - is because throughout his (early) life he hasn't necessarily deemed anyone's 'word' to be kept, for instance when, just before they died, isabel and furlan told levi to trust them and that they can handle going on the expedition themselves. idk if this interpretation makes sense, but what're your thoughts, gee?

Either way it alll goes back to childhood (as is the case for everyone). I don't think it has anything to do with someone's word being kept tho.

It's easy to assume there were no other children in the brothel where Levi spent the first 6-8 years of his life, and others—especially who was in charge of the place—were hostile to him having been born there and thought he was just another mouth to feed, besides the fact that he was a bastard and a son of a prostitute (which... Paradis' society definitely has classism so i feel this would also result in discrimination).

So in the first place, Levi's only socialization was with Kuchel. He would not know how to navigate being social because he simply was never taught, and probably treated horribly otherwise, which would influence how awkward he is, his distrust of others and otherwise defensive behavior, and his inability to express his feelings. Considering how soon Levi lost Kuchel, and then lived with Kenny, I think he'd have trouble identifying his feelings to some extent too.

Levi was taught to survive and "raised" based on physical pain, if his dialogue in the courtroom scene means anything, and his general way of responding when he's upset is thru physical means such as after his argument with Erwin.

All that being said, he fails to express himself verbally. Again since losing Kuchel so young and how there's no chance in hell Kenny showed him the affection the growing child needs, Levi would be uncomfortable with physical touch because of this emotional neglect, and that's besides the fact the Underground was a dangerous place so any "physical touch" so to speak was almost always hostile.

Therefore physical touch and words of affirmation are what he has the most trouble with. I'll put the others aside (because I feel he's more neutral on gift giving and quality time) and skip to the acts of service conclusion: Doing things for others to express affection says more about how he feels than anything he could express verbally, not to mention his encompassing fear of being vulnerable. In order to be useful to Kenny and get his attention, Levi fought (or in a broader sense "acted"), so it'd make sense he's most comfortable expressing feelings he's unfamiliar with like affection or comfort with action too. Lastly, Levi is very concerned with being useful, as he felt responsible for Izzy+Furlan's lives and later down the line... everyone's. His superhuman strength gives him a sense of responsibility... and the lengths he goes to to not lose anyone else after losing both his mother and "father" figure early on.

So. Acts of service<3

| levi masterlist | main masterlist |

[firstdivisiongirl]

Hi! I hope you're having a good day. I'm supposed to be doing homework, but I got distracted by the booping thing and now I'm here.

If you have the time, I'd like to request a romantic matchup with a Tokyo Revengers character. I'm nonbinary - they/them pronouns - and pansexual (I apologize if this creates too big of a pool for characters). I can't say that I have a type either. Whether it be someone who's soft and kind or confident and strong headed, I'm weak for them. What can I say, I love a little bit of everyone. I'm an INFP-T who is often drowning in overdue homework only to pull a few all-nighters back to back to catch up, and cry even though I put myself in that position (my sleep schedule is in shambles). My parents are protective of me because I'm the youngest of the children by a decade and not very strong. I'm an even 5'. Paired with shitty eyesight and small frame, I'm not menacing at all. It also doesn't help that I greet everyone with a smile, even when faced with snarky comments or someone I'm greatly upset with. Of course, this doesn't mean I won't get angry later and rant for a good hour or so through tears. For some reason, no matter how calm I am on the inside, I start crying when crying to express myself in serious situations. (if anyone has an idea on how to stop this, please help)

Since I'm nonbinary, I try to lean into a more androgynous look, but my mom still tries to instill a sense of "womanhood" in me (which gives me anxiety and a lot of body dysphoria). It makes me lean away from more feminine colors in clothing, which sucks because I'm a stickler for a cute pastel shirt. That being said, I try not to let that get to me by wearing whatever I want because I also strongly believe that colors and clothes don't relate to gender. I usually wear baggier tops at least because I can't buy a binder yet.

I like listening to people talk about themselves or anything that interests them, as long as they don't mind me rambling about something also. My mom has told me I'd make a really good therapist because I always help her break down her problems and get a different view on things. My sister vents to me frequently because she feels I offer a place of no judgement and she can speak freely.

A lot of my personal joy comes from seeing others happy. In a friend group, I'm often the one trying to include everyone and make people laugh, even if I'm anxious myself. Even though I can get swept up in my emotions, I always stop and think about things in a logical view (which sometimes leads to me taking action before realizing I should've thought it through). I definitely wouldn't do well in the TKR universe in terms of fighting, but I'd probably figure out some way to be helpful because I hate feeling like I'm not contributing anything. I also like to think I have a pretty good pain tolerance, so maybe I could buy time or something.

I've been told I'm very extroverted and outgoing, but I actually have a low social battery and often find myself overwhelmed in social outings with lots of people or loud noises. I almost started crying in downtown Seattle and New York City when I was on vacation (even though I was having fun). This can lead me to shutting down at times and going relatively non-verbal. Overall, I'd describe my personality as laid-back, open-minded, and not confrontational. I try to push my way through my insecurities and short-comings, but things hardly work out the way I want them to.

I like video games and sleeping in, but I'll push my own hobbies aside for people I enjoy hanging out with. I'm not too picky about food, as long as it isn't spicy (i'm a bit of a wimp). I also really enjoy sweets - cakes, pastries, cookies, candies, chocolates. I love them all. I often end up not eating because I either get distracted or I simply don't feel like it. Technically, I'm allergic to dairy and tomatoes and I can get really nauseous or itchy, but my favorite foods often have those ingredients so I act like I'm immune.

Anyways, I apologize for the long description. I hope I followed all your rules and gave you everything you need. Please take your time, I am in no rush and I know life is always busy. I hope you have a good day!

Hello. The wait it finally over. Sorry it took so long. Things got crazy. Let's just jump right into it!

You Got...

Souya Kawata!!!!

He is really good with people and very patient. If you got overwhelmed and needed time, he would be there for you anyway he can.

He would make you the best foo. Anything you want, he will make!

He is a good listener. Will listen to you for hours

Would tell you everyday that you are amazing and that he loves for you!

He would protect you. You being safe is the most important thing to him!

He would help you get anything done that you need. He would keep you on track.

He would like that you are laid back. He already has Smiley, so someone in his life who is chill would be nice.

Video game dates. He would play a mean Mario Kart. I think he would pick Yoshi!

I hope you enjoy

[takasgf]

Might as well just talk about the Morket confession already. Loooooong post ahead

For context, in the months before IW, Morgs and R.ocket have gotten very, very close. They are a lot more comfortable with eachother, sometimes they even are affectionate and Morgen tells him pretty much every day that she loves him. Not necessarly in an overly romantic way, but she feels the need to remind him that. He almost never says it back. Sometimes a few "me too"'s slip from his mouth, but that would be all. He doesnt need to be vocal for Morgs to know that he loves and appreciates her as a friend too, especially since they've made so much progress together. She does have the biggest crush on him, and has had it for the past 4 years (it developed during/immediately after? vol 2; just seeing how caring he was towards Baby G.root made her heart absolutely melt and she slowly fell in love with him as the days passed) but she doesnt act on it. She keeps her affectionate gestures rather platonic, as platonic as forehead good night kisses can be though😆 Thing is, she doesnt mind if he loves her back romantically or not, she just wants to make him feel appreciated and for him to appreciate her back. The only person she tells about her crush is G.amora, since she's the most trustworthy of them all.

Considering he never showed her any kind of romantic affection back (although he starts to compliment her a lot when he drinks a bit too much), Morgen just assumed he's not interested and didnt do anything that implied she loves him more than just a friend. She was content and happy with just his friendship.

Rocky was confused. Very confused. He reciprocated her platonic affection because he got comfortable with her but what he didnt know was that he would eventually be hit with real sudden romantic thoughts. Kind of a realization moment, not exactly a build up. That scared him terribly. He couldnt allow himself to feel that kind of love towards anyone, let alone Morgen.

Her openness with her feelings and affection convinced him that she genuinely just wants to be friends with him and thats how she expresses herself. He thought that if she did have romantic feelings, she'd be more reserved and shy about it. He brushed his feelings off for a while, he really does not want to be in touch with his own emotions. He does not want to get attached, scared of the pain that will come after losing her. He got sick of his own attitude and made the HORRIBLE decision to start being a jerk to her again. To push her away. To make her hate him so that he wouldnt have to deal with his feelings anymore. He suddenly began to ignore her, insult her, reject any sort of affection she tried to initiate, overall just being really cold towards her. Comically so; it was too mean and rude even for him, but its what he thought he had to do. He was feeling awful and remorseful, but he didnt give up his act.

Morgen thought she did something wrong and he got mad at her and tried to get him to talk about it. Before this, they used to be very clear and verbal when something upset them and they'd quickly talk it out and solve it. But this time he had nothing to say. Because she didnt do anything wrong except love him. She tried for days to get him to talk to her, she was really worried and panicked the whole time, desperately trying to fix what she thought broke in their friendship. But it was of no use. She realised he was being mean to her on purpose, not because he was mad and couldnt control his emotions - he was making an active choice to be a jerk to the person that loved him the most. And that angered her. He clearly wasnt going to talk about it so she decided to give him the same treatment for the first time. It wasnt like she accepted his rude behaviour and remarks before, she always called him out on it when it went too far, but she never got this mad before. Let alone reciprocate his coldness. Lets just say, the rest of the G.uardians were pretty shocked. They all pretty much bicker with one another, but it was suuuuper unusual for R.ocket and Morgen to be THIS upset at each other. Morgen vented about her feelings to G.amora, trying to make some sense of the situation while Q.uill tried to get some sort of explanation from Rocky.

Overall it was a very tense atmosphere that continued for WEEKS😭 For a few days Morgen still came into Rocky's room before bedtime, to give him her usual good night forehead smooch but he did not accept any of that, growled at her to get the hell out of his room while she sat there looking at him like "☹️". She gave up eventually. She also had to stop bringing him snacks while he worked because he wouldnt even touch them anymore. Flake note here, writing this SUCKS and its ripping my heart into pieces but it will get better i promise.

Things fizzled out as the days passed, but they were still upset at each other - they just got used to it (🙁this sentence made me shed real tears). Fast forward to the day T.hor bumps into the G.uardians' spaceship window. They talk, blah blah watch the movie, and it gets to the point R.ocket, G.root and T.hor are about to leave to N.idavellir to get T.hor's new m.inecraft pickaxe or whatever. Usually Morgen would join them but this time she prefers to stay with the rest of the team, which is a first. Even if she's still mad at him, she tells R.ocket to take care ("...or else!") before he leaves. The whole time they are separated, Morgen is constantly thinking about him and hoping he was doing okay. They very rarely had separate missions and she was stressed out. Fast forward to purple guy snapping his fingers and killing half the population of the universe. In that moment, Rocky was on Earth with the a.vengers and Morgen was on Titan (planet where the G.uardians and the T.ony S.trange P.eter crew tried to fight T.hanos). All these words make me re-live 2018 wowow. She was left with the other two survivors, T.ony and Nebs. That was the moment that made her finally break down and she spent the next few days doing nothing but crying (or the zteamer person equivalent of crying) and constantly having to repair her shell cracks. Her entire face had entirely cracked at one point and she waddled around the spaceship looking like W.ithered B.onnie. I wonder what funny jokes mr Iron made about this situation.

Anyways, Captain M.arvel comes and brings the spaceship back to earth and its reunion time!!!! Important shit, finally. Morgen almost screams with joy seeing that R.ocket is still alive and gives him the biggest hug ever. She's almost out of energy at that point but she's insanely happy and grateful to see that he was okay. The first thing he does is apologize to her for being such a jerk in the past few weeks, but she shushes him and tells him it's all okay.

They are still in shock after the recent events, since they just lost their entire found family but they get to sit down and have a serious talk a few days after. R.ocket makes a genuine apology to her about his behaviour and the way he treated her. Morgen forgives him fully but still wants to know what the hell upset him so much. He really cant say it at first, but he painfully tries to explain to her what he feels. He is honest about their relationship, the way she makes him feel, the consequences of all her care and affection that resulted in him being incredibly attached to her. Then, he told her why that scared him so much. He was teriffied of the idea of falling in love AND losing that person and having to deal with the pain that comes after. Morgen understood and she couldnt stay mad at him. She comforted him as much as she could and reassured him that love is never in vain and there is no point in running away from it, pushing all of those who care about you away, just because of a hypothetical situation. Yeah, he definitely could lose her, space is a dangerous place, but why deprive yourself of love entirely? Why not enjoy the present? She encouraged him to be brave and open about how he feels. At least to her. At least now. After they lost everything else. He finally told Morgen how much he loves her. How sorry he is for treating her with coldness when all she did was take care and comfort him whenever he needed. She told R.ocket that she loves him too. And she has, for such a long time. He was pretty impressed at how patient she was with him. And grateful. Very grateful that she was part of his life and she was willing to get the stubborn idea that he was unlovable out of his head. That would be when they officialy started a relationship.

Of course N.ebula heard the entire conversation and got a lot of second hand embarassment from it, but as the years passed she grew very fond of them. They were the only 3 g.uardians left alive after the snap, so they became close friends. Even after the rest of the team came back, during E.ndgame, Nebs was still the only one who knew about Morgs' and Rocky's relationship. They preffered to keep it hidden from the rest but that didnt last too long. It was pretty damn obvious they were even closer than before. That and T.hor kept mentioning it by accident (they never told him they were a couple, he just assumed it💀in e.ndgame they both team up with him to get one of the stones. "Rabbit, is she your girlfriend?🤔")

This one is a bit more of an extra fact, but outsiders had a hard time accepting their relationship once they were more open about it. Aeneas was fricking flabbergasted and also felt slightly insulted that Morgen rejected HIM (ultimate beauty what can i say) and got with "THE LITTLE BEAST??!!,?," but he was too busy running the planet (after IW Aeneas is finally able to become the leader of Zteamer) to focus too much on it. Anyone outside their aquaintances was a little weirded out about the couple (Earth people being the most weirded out) but they didnt let that affect them too much. It was all the same problem of not seeing R.ocket as an actual person with feelings and thoughts. Those who knew Morgen's species though were less judgemental because they disliked equally Zteamer people and animal-looking people and had no respect for either of them. Point is, it was a struggle. But they managed, because they loved the other too much. And nobody outside their relationship was allowed to interfere with it.

They care for eachother so so much and they are glad they are able to express it without shame now. They hug after battles and they make little hearts with their hands when they are at a distance to say "i love you". They have a thing called "big heart little heart" where one (usually Morgen) makes a big heart symbol with their entire arms (like ballerinas who put their hands over their head in a circle shape but here its a heart) and the other (usually R.ocket) has to respond with a little heart, more subtle, made from their hands (just the usual heart pose people do). Sometimes there's a third littlest heart which is just the korean heart sign (made from fingers only). They dont like pda, but they still find ways to show their affection for one another ♡

Thank you for suffering alongside me. 🦝🐞

[familytherapyottawa]

What steps can I take to make the divorce process easier for my child?

Divorce can be a challenging and emotionally turbulent time for families, especially for children of all ages who have very little say on how divorce will affect their lives. How do you help your children through this difficult time? Nataxja Cini MSW RSW at Family-Therapy in Ottawa stresses that helping your child through separation and divorce means providing extra reassuring emotional support, creating stability, and maintaining familiar routines for your children and teens. Initially separation and divorce can be a difficult time for everyone. Your children are vulnerable to feeling abandoned or responsible for your marriage breaking down no matter what their ages. Each child reacts differently.

How can I support my child through my separation and divorce?

Nataxja suggests that it is essential to prioritize your child’s emotional needs as you all struggle through this life-changing event. You have to maintain open and honest communication, reassure them of your love, and encourage them to express their feelings even if this means meltdowns and tantrums. You need to keep your children’s consistent routine as much as you can and offer age-appropriate explanations about what’s happening. You could also involve older children in making some decisions when possible, such as choosing new paint colours for their rooms. Children and teens should not be making adult decision. Seek professional support for your child if necessary, because a psychotherapist is trained to help children and teens cope with the emotional challenges they may be facing.

What are some signs that my child may be struggling with the divorce?

You might see your children displaying various signs of distress, including changes in behaviour, mood swings, withdrawal, difficulties at school, acting out or regressive behaviours. They may also exhibit physical symptoms like headaches, aches and pains or an upset stomach. Pay attention to anything out of the ordinary in their emotional well-being or social interactions. If you notice these signs persisting for an extended period, seeking professional help can be beneficial.

How can I promote a healthy co-parenting relationship after divorce?

Co-parenting plays a crucial role in supporting your child’s adjustment. The Ottawa-based counsellors and social workers at Family-Therapy emphasize that effective communication, respect, and a focus on your child’s best interests are the keys. Create a detailed parenting plan that outlines responsibilities, visitation schedules, and decision-making processes. Try to not argue with your ex in front of your child and encourage your kids to maintain a positive relationship with their other parent.  It’s important to never pressure or try to convince your child to live solely with you. Children should be kept out of the conflict between the adults. Remember, your child’s well-being should always be the primary concern and focus with your ex when having parenting discussions. If you find talking with your ex is stressful, anxiety provoking or it almost always ends up in a fight, seek professional help for yourself to learn ways you can minimize conflict with your ex.  

What can I do to ensure my child feels safe and secure during this transition?

The best advice from Nataxja is that consistency and routine are vital for your child’s sense of security. As much as you can, maintain familiar routines and traditions such as bedtime rituals, family customs, or extracurricular activities. Constantly reassure them that both you and your ex still love and support them. Create a stable home environment that fosters emotional well-being. Encourage open dialogue and pay attention to what they’re telling you, verbally and non-verbally.  It is especially important to provide comfort and reassurance whenever necessary. Divorce is a huge change for young children especially as they are the ones transitioning between two homes. Ensure they don’t have too much going on on the days they transition between homes.

How can I help my child understand and cope with their emotions?

Nataxja recommends validating your child’s emotions and create a safe space for them to express their feelings. Encourage healthy coping mechanisms such as journaling, drawing, or engaging in physical activities. Be prepared that your child may be angry and mad at you for the separation. And sometimes your child just needs you to listen to them without you trying to fix anything. If necessary, seek professional counseling to provide your child with additional support and guidance.  

Supporting your child through separation and divorce requires patience and understanding. You may find that the best way to get through this difficult time is to seek professional therapy for your child or maybe even yourself. The psychotherapists in Ottawa at Family-Therapy are here to assist you and your family to navigate the complexities of separation and divorce. Contact us to book an appointment.

[revenantscholar]

As I wrote in my other posts, saying that autistics do not have a sense of empathy is bullshit. Doesn't matter how many Cambridge professors endorse the idea (am I professor myself, actually). Aka, don't be impressed by people's titles and locations.

But in terms of empathy, as with many other things, the most important characteristic is that we are NOT typical. This may indeed mean hypoempathy for many of us, but for others, including me, it is hyperempathy.

Specifically, I feel intensely when people around me are unhappy, sad or upset, and when they try to hide it, so that their superficial expression does not match what they actually feel. When I was younger, this used to make me terribly upset, because I thought that they were intentionally lying to me. "White lies" could set me off into a rage attack, no matter how well-intentioned.

Now I have learned how to politely lie myself (it is one of the most important skills in life), but my sense of hyperempathy has not gone away, and I still have a strong need for people to be honest with me, with the good or the bad. But most people are not even honest with themselves, so I heavily mask and do not let almost anyone approach me.

When I am excited about knowledge, or when I am happy for any reason, my autism shows more. I do not flap or stim, but my expression becomes more lively, and I care even less about social conventions. Again, this does not go over well with most people unless I package it and mask, so that's another painful topic. I've only become fully aware of that recently.

TL; DR does not apply that much to autistics, so I'll add that empathy is one are where this applies. Hyper or hypo can both be typical. Similarly, speech: There are times when I can talk for hours on end, and there are other times when I am practically non-verbal, but I am always hyperlexic, and I would not have it any other way.

In one word: We are atypical compared to the (idealized middle-class) standard allistic person.

I’m autistic and hyper empathetic and really good at reading people, anyone else?

So I know I’m not the only one that has this ofc because everyone is different, but all the autistic ppl I know irl are the opposite and I wanted to see if anyone else on here is the same as me. Sometimes I feel weird because I don’t fit in with lots of autistic people because of this but I’m not neurotypical so i dont fit in with them either. Not complaining, its just a weird feeling

[azlrse]

➳ even from afar, i still loved you (mammon x GN!reader oneshot)

summary: even after years has passed since you left the devildom, the avatar of greed's feelings for you still retains

cw: major angst, smol game spoiler, verbal abuse (from the brothers), replaced!mc and student council president!mc au

a/n: the fic was almost self-indulgent so the plot kinda sucked here. also, i'm fuckin' sad so imma post sum angst to ease the pain :DD

"I would like to thank everyone for coming for this short meeting regarding to the decision making of the exchange program." You sternly spoke, taking a seat at the comfortable rotating chair that overlooks all of your student council members. "I humbly apologize if the call was too all of the sudden and I know that all of you have after school clubs to attend to."

"It's okay, pres." Your secretary smiled "We understand your call, knowing on how serious this manner was. After all, the decision of the said student rely on us if they can join that so-called exchange." Most of the student body noticed on how you gave the folder on the table a sharp glare as if they were real. Maria, your right hand man, placed a hand on your shoulder to ease you up a bit. "I know how hard it is for you to remember all those horrible things those demons did to you. We can make this decision together. I promise to you, my friend." She smiled and you couldn't get luckier to have a friend like her.

She's one of the students who welcomed you back after you just arrived back at the human world and enrolled back at St. Cecilia's Academy. Maria also listened to your rants and vents through your tear while you sobbed and cried from the events that left you traumatized and paranoid. "Thanks Maria. That's highly appreciated." She only nodded in response.

You stood up from your seat and began pacing back and forth, now continuing the meeting. "Now, has everyone here knew the school I've attended when I participated the exchange years ago?" Most of them shook their heads (except for Maria), indicating that they don't know which school you've attended from all those years ago. The school which you thought became your happy place but became a breeding ground for the bullies themselves, especially when the group was led by none other than that pesky human whom the brothers call their new friend.

You remember how many times you told the brothers about them and how the bullying got even worse and what did they do? They just shrugged it off as they listened to the other human's words through their crocodile tears. How they smirked when the brothers thought that you tried to pin point the fault towards them because they thought you are insecure about yourself but in reality, you just want someone to at least listen to your words and even taking a look at your point of view.

"It's called the Royal Academy of Diavolo, also simply known as RAD to the citizens of the Devildom. That's where our student will go if we approve this form." You said, pointing towards the folder that was sitting on the top of the table since the meeting had started. The present students nodded their heads out of curiosity to this strange school their president had attended and many questions are asked here and there; what's the curriculum look like? The uniforms? The safety measures? Do the students there tend to eat the human exchange humans?

And you answered those questions in all honesty, wether it was bad or good. You saw the expressions of the student body morphed from disturbed to being upset on how you are treated there. "So, in my personal opinion," You finally made up your mind for the decision of this exchange program. "I won't allow any of our students to be in the program. Not only I don't want them to feel what I feel, even experiencing the horrors in the Devildom but also for their own safety."

The whole room became silent after you finished talking and soon after, many of them gave out their own opinions. To your satisfaction, many of the students also declined the program. "I agree with the president, everyone. " Your business manager spoke while giving the folder back to you. "We must ensure that our students safety is our number 1 priority and we couldn't risk it, let alone on what happened to our own president."

"Then it is decided." Maria took the paper on your hands and stamped it with the "DECLINE" stamp over your signature. All of you declined the program and now, you must break the news to them, both to the brothers and to the demon prince himself.

. ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

It's been a few years since Mammon last saw you during your time as an exchange student in RAD. From what you thought that the House of Lamentation was your second home, it turned into a nightmare real quick. All because of that human who joined the program, a curriculum the crowned prince has established. A few months of abuse, neglect and sadness is all you felt until you felt like you didn't have place here anymore, not just in the house itself but also in the entire Devildom.

You loved Mammon since the beginning; a greedy and selfish demon whose mind was consumed with gold and trinkets of fortune. His brothers also deemed him as a scummy bastard who goes through several punishments due to his misdemeanor and financial abuse. He was your first man and thought that he could have the potential for him to be your first serious relationship. Before the ordeal happened that temporarily left you shattered, you and the prince of greed used to be the closest of friends. Him protecting you from lowly demons and buying you the things that reminds you of him. He does spoil you to bits and behind that greedy mask he always had, that particular mask always falls apart when you're with him, revealing a man whose heart was the definition of heart of gold.

The more you hang around him, the more you see yourself falling for him. How come a human like yourself fell in love for the second-born himself? You have no idea but all you felt for the demon was this warm feeling of adoration and love for him.

But it didn't last long as soon as the wretched human of a student joined the program.

And as soon as Mammon knew that this new human was rich, he didn't waste his time to hang around them and you tried your best to be around him often. You wanted to invite him to this new cafe that was recently opened? He has plans with them. Hanging around his room to talk to him? He was on his way to their room to talk about money and some other bullshit. At first, you started to give him some space. Thinking that he just needs some more time hanging out with the new student but it didn't last long as a few months passed by and his brothers followed pursuit. He didn't spoke a word towards you nor inviting you to activities he normally does with you.

And it felt like you are alone for a long time.

You tried reconnecting with him (and to his brothers) but all he always let out a small grunt of annoyance whenever you 'mess' with him, telling you to just go away and leave him alone for once. At first, you just shrug it off, thinking to yourself that your presence becomes too much for him to the point that you became an annoyance towards him but no, Mammon does think that you just became an nuisance and an annoyance, not just towards him but also to his brothers.

They favored the new student than you, a human that they once befriended and loved who fixed their family and heal their inner trauma through your words of reassurance and kindness.

The loneliness became suffocating and the weight on your shoulders felt like it's the same weight that made you fell deeper into the depths of the deep ocean full of agony and anger. If you're honest with yourself, you loved Mammon with all your heart and your once soft and warm heart shattered when he finally snapped as soon as you pester him on inviting him to join his casino shenanigans.

"I already told you, I already have plans with (s/n)! Why can't you just leave me alone and just mind your own damn business!? Sheesh your such an annoyance.."

"But Mammoney, it's been 4 months since we've last hang out... All I ask of you is a bit of your time and–"

"And then what?! Pester me with your lil' talk and then scold me whenever I did something that could annoy you? And, can you please stop calling me by that name? It's REALLY annoying to call me by that stupid name..."

"Mammon-"

"JUST SHUT UP, WILL YA?!!"

And those 5 words made you quickly shut your mouth. You stopped yourself from crying on the spot as you stare the demon stomping his way to (s/n)'s room to vent (again) about you. Those words cut through you like knives. You couldn't believe it. The demon whom you loved so much, the one who protected you since the start of your life as an exchange student and the first demon whom you lend a hand, just told you to shut your mouth and to leave him alone.

As soon as his figure leaves the hallway, you quickly ran towards your room, locked the door and muffled your cries and sobs by your pillow. The once soft and comfortable pillow was now covered with snot, saliva and tears as you continuously cried and cried from the pain and anguish you felt for months. You felt lonely, and there's no one in the HoL would even check on your well-being, to see if you're okay and to have a shoulder to lean on whenever you're down and sad.

Without hesitation, you quickly formulated a plan for you to go home to the human world. The Devildom nor the House of Lamentation isn't your home anymore, it's now the place that haunted and accumulated your inner trauma of abandonment and loneliness. It also breaks your heart that HE didn't even bothered to say good bye to you as the new exchange student smirked in victory.

Mammon on the other hand, stared back at you with an emotionless expression as you make your way to the entrance hall. His lack of words and his expression formulated a new kind of anger that was kept within your head; anger and wrath. Your once pathetic expression turned hard and ominous, staring back towards the demon, which in fact, sends shivers down his spine.

Now, years after you're elected as the new head of the student council, you felt nothing but power and ambition in your current position. After years of pain and anguish towards that horrible place, those feelings (especially your anger towards Mammon) has transformed into the emotions that brought you into power. As the current student council president of St. Cecilia's Academy, you are presented with the power wether you allow 2 of your students to partake the program or not.

For the first time, the brothers saw you in a really unique uniform that speaks out your current position and to top it all off, you sent a glare towards the 7 brothers, remembering all the pain and trauma they gave you since the last 5 years. The memories that haunted you as an exchange student came back like a video tape was playing on your head. You feared that if you sent 2 of your students to the Devildom, they would go the same fate as you or worse, being killed by the 7th born demon.

You declined their proposal, causing an uproar but quickly transitioned into pleas for forgiveness for what they've done.

"If it's because of me, I'm sorry! I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you! Don't place the blame on my brothers, you can take it all towards me! Hit me, slap me, hurt me! Do whatever it takes for me to feel the same pain we gave to you." Mammon said, his hands making its way to your waist. You turn to your side and quickly wiped off the test that was threatening to come out from your eye. Your hand quickly released his gripped but he didn't budge, not even one bit.

"A person can forgive someone but they couldn't forget the things that they went through in order to survive." You turn to face the 7 brothers who were once your family, but your ties towards them was cut off as soon as you left the devildom. "I'm sorry, I don't want my students to go through the same path I experienced 5 years ago. And with that, I don't think there's a chance for me to forgive all of you, especially you Mammon." He only stared at you in disbelief, tears beginning to appear on his face. You pushed his arms away from you, causing him to tumble down as Levi and Satan helped him to get back on his feet.

You dusted off the wrinkled parts of your uniform, standing up proudly and internally smirking as the faces of these powerless demons became a new core memory for you. "Now will you excuse me, I still have some important matters to attend to. You may leave my office if you don't have any clarifications."

One by one, the brothers apologized as they make their way out. You can see their tear streaking face as they muttered apologies under their breathe. All six of the brothers are outside except for one; the avatar of greed himself. He stopped dead on his tracks and his hands are holding your cold dead hands. You can see on how upset and guilty he was from his expression alone. "Can't you reconsider? You don't have to accept my apology, sweetheart. I promise you I'll treat you even better when I-"

You raised a hand in front of his face, causing him to shut up. "I can't and I won't change my mind, avatar of greed. And It's president (m/c) for you, not by that stupid nickname." He winced from your words, the same words that he's spoken to you. He didn't mean it! He was just angry and was just in a bad mood due to the unfortunate events happened to him. He didn't mean to speak those words towards you. If he has the ability to turn back time, he could have accepted your invitations instead of ignoring you.

He walked away in defeat, his head laying low as he continuously stare into the cold tile of your office.

Many months passed by and he still didn't forget about you. Everyday, he would pester his older brother or the Devildom prince for him to visit you in the human world. He just wants to see you if you're doing okay and doesn't miss a day as small gifts and flowers are slowly piling up by your office. From what you've heard from your student body, some of those gifts came from your admire while the others are from the children that attended the school. 'That's really sweet' you thought, recieving another box of chocolates for the day and unbeknownst to you, the avatar of greed is watching you as a sad smile was plastered on his face.

How he wished that smile was given to him and not towards that kid who admired you (platonically). You didn't know that the box of chocolates didn't actually came from the young student but from him. He's glad that you didn't reject the gifts you recieved but was very upset when you threw away the bouquet of flowers that has his name on it.

Mammon has his little ways when it comes to protecting you. It's either him or his crow familiars watching over you and celebrating every achievements you recieved from both your academics and in your extracurricular activities, no matter how big or small it was.

You may hated him with all your heart but the love and guilt the prince of greed says other wise. Yes, he feels very guilty and was angry to himself and to his brothers that they're the cause of your downfall, only for you to get back by your feet. He wants the old you back; the once kind, gentle, goofy and forever loving (m/c) who filled in the missing gap of his heart, only for the hole to grew even wider the more he thinks about you.

He will wait for the day that you'll return to his arms.

He will wait patiently for you and learns how to save his grim instead of spending it.

He will wait, even if it takes an eternity for you to forgive him and his brothers.

Even if you forget about him, his brothers and the entire Devildom, the prince of greed will always have you within his heart, now awaits for your safe return in his arms.

Do not republish, edit, or repost to other websites.

Reblogs and likes are appreciated! 💕

[redmbti]

Also can you make a post about what each cognitive function is (but dumbed down bc I've read a lot of explanations and I still don't understand) with some examples?

MBTI CHEAT SHEET #3

note: in the bullet list i’ll be talking about the HIGH users of the mentioned function.

and i’ll talk bout heathy and unhealthy traits in the same bullet list randomly without order so don’t be offended if there’s a trait bout your dominant function that ain’t as nice, it’ll probably be just an unhealthy trait of the function.

EXTROVERTED FUNCTIONS —

each extroverted function proceeds information faster than its introverted contra-part.

for example: Fe proceeds feelings faster than Fi. Fe might feel more emotions but Fi will feel more deeply.

Fe— extroverted feeling

Fe is an extroverted judging function.

dom-Fe —> ExFJ (high user)

aux-Fe —> IxFJ (high user)

tert-Fe —> ExTP (low user)

inf-Fe —> IxTP (low user)

Fe is concerned with other people’s feelings (contrary to Fi)

Fe can be dependent on other people cuz it does a lot for others and expects em to do the same.

Fe high users are usually rly socially aware

they are empathetic and can put themselves well in other peoples shoes (that can be used for good AND bad intentions; remember just bc someone might be emphatic does not mean they’re good people)

they tend to get jealous rly easily (bc Fe compares itself to others a lot

they tend towards passive aggressive behaviour instead of expressing their anger in an open manner

Fe-high users are aware of other people’s emotions but not their own

they often want you to feel a certain way (like if you’re upset they’ll try their best to make you happy again; or they can guilt trip you)

slight inference that you better agree

CAN be fake

Fe is warm, caring and rly helpful if heathy. dependant, manipulative and passive aggressive if unhealthy

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Te— extroverted thinking

Te is an extroverted judging function.

dom-Te —> ExTJ (high user)

aux-Te —> IxTJ (high user)

tert-Te —> ExFP (low user)

inf-Te —> IxFP (low user)

Te is concerned with structure and getting things done

values external evidence over pure logic

independent and often work alcoholics

socially aware but not of other peoples feelings

suppresses emotions cuz what would you gain from expressing it?

often intimating

if you have a problem they wouldn’t try to make you feel better but to fix your problem instead

very straightforward, direct, blunt even

Te-high-users are the least type to be manipulative

they hate being manipulated

highly objective

Te detests subjectivity

Te is objective, practical and structured if heathy. mean, angry and concerned with cutting thru if unhealthy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Se— extroverted sensing

Se is an extroverted perceiving function.

dom-Se —> ESxP (high user)

aux-Se —> ISxP (high user)

tert-Se —> ENxJ (low user)

inf-Se —> INxJ (low user)

lives in the moment

wants to experience everything life has to offer

cant plan further into the future

physical approach

impulsive and spontaneous

relaxed and laid pack

hand-on learning

often like sports and material arts

reckless

get bored of pure theories

doing instead of thinking

Se is spontaneous, chill and fun if heathy. reckless, future-neglecting and impulsive if unhealthy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Ne— extroverted intuition

Ne is an extroverted perceiving function.

dom-Ne —> ENxP (high user)

aux-Ne —> INxP (high user)

tert-Ne —> ESxJ (low user)

inf-Ne —> ISxJ (low user)

possibilities possibilities possibilities

broad ideas and abstract concepts (contrary to Ni’s deep ones)

what if thinking

expanding (contrary to Ni)

Ne-doms are often excited

inclined to rapid changes in mind

a lot of perspectives at once

Ne reads between the lines and too much into things

seek proof to back up their instinct (contrary to Ni)

thinks outside the box

loves new thinks

hates being/feeling trapped

strongly values freedom

open-minded!!

commitment-issues and burning bridges

scattered

likes to keep things open (contrary to Ni)

Ne is open-minded, creative, and full of new possibilities if heathy. scattered, commitment-phobic and tends towards burning bridges if unhealthy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

INTROVERTED FUNCTIONS—

these are often not clearly visible cuz they do their work internal.

Si— introverted sensing

Si is an introverted perceiving function.

dom-Si —> ISxJ (high user)

aux-Si —> ESxJ (high user)

tert-Si —> INxP (low user)

inf-Si —> ENxP (low user)

comfortable with routine

doesn’t like change

hand-on learning

get bored of pure theories

detail-oriented

how did it always work?

understands things when they are done

down to earth

can be picky/ control freaks (istj more than isfj)

can be close-minded

Si is down to earth, detail oriented and in tune with reality if heathy. close-minded and picky control freaks if unhealthy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Ti— introverted thinking

Ti is an introverted judging function.

dom-Ti —> IxTP (high user)

aux-Ti —> ExTP (high user)

tert-Ti —> IxFJ (low user)

inf-Ti —> ExFJ (low user)

detached, highly logical and analytical

values logic (and personal freedom) over everything

cant enjoy anything unless it makes sense to them (for example if a relationship is nice but it doesn’t make sense to them why the other person likes them they’ll break up)

quite and laid back (only IxTP)

have a hard time controlling their anger

not aware of their emotions nor other peoples emotions

if they feel emotions it’s often expressed thru anger

barley ever cry (they just can’t, it’s awful)

tend to run away from their pain thru fun

IxTPs aren’t rly socially aware due to inferior Fe, where ExTP are charming due to tertiary Fe.

it often seems as if they don’t care bout you (even if they do)

nihilistic

might not give a fuck cuz everthing is so meaningless

Ti can be analytical, logical and an affective ‘search machine’ for plot holes of any kind if healthy. detached, emotionally dead, isolated and nihilistic if unhealthy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Fi- introverted feeling

Fi is an introverted judging function.

dom-Fi —> IxFP (high user)

aux-Fi —> ExFP (high user)

tert-Fi —> IxTJ (low user)

inf-Fi —> ExTJ (low user)

sensitive but private in their feelings

makes decisions based on personal values

how does this affects me?

cant verbalize emotions

needs time to proceeds feelings

not judgmental of others

very protective of identity

“i” talking

to focused on self (it’s my fault, i fuqed this up, i ruined everything)

CAN be selfish

extreme self loathing if unhealthy

feels rly deeply

Fi is sensitive, private, and almost immune to peer pressure if heathy. isolated, self-loathing and selfish if unhealthy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Ni— introverted intuition

Ni is an introverted perceiving function.

dom-Ni —> INxJ (high user)

aux-Ni —> ENxJ (high user)

tert-Ni —> ISxP (low user)

inf-Ni —> ESxP (low user)

closest function to the subconscious

therefore does most of its work subconsciously

interested in abstract theories, ideas and concepts

always reads between the lines

always searches for a deeper meaning

detached from sensory reality

poor at interacting with the sensory environment

they just ‘know’ things and they can’t explain it

freakin accurate hunches and epiphanies (aha moments)

they NEED (not want to, they fuqin need to, or they’ll feel sick) to narrow things down to reach ONE CERTAIN outcome (contrary to Ne)

therefore predict things in an accurate way

can be extremely paranoid

imaginary monsters

often wrapped view of reality (for the infj more)

plans EVERYTHING

big picture

can be control freaks

Ni is highly abstract, creative and can predict future outcomes and great at making plans if heathy. extreme paranoia, wrapped version of realty and pointing at imaginary monsters if unhealthy.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

—ciyan

[bubbledumbbinch]

Kinktober 2021 - Tickling

Pairing: Lilia Vanrouge x GN! Reader

Prompt: Tickling

A/N: This piece of writing is strictly 18+. NSFW. Minors DNI.

Warnings: yandere, dubcon/noncon, mild angst(?), jealousy

Your muffled moans struggled to come out. Bounds restrained your arms and legs as you felt like you were being tortured. Well, because you were.

It had all started back when Lilia Vanrouge, your upperclassman from Diasomnia, had taken a liking to you. That's definitely what he would call it, not an obsession. Lilia's infatuation started when he was able to get closer to you and meet you during the time preparing for the Magical Shift tournament. His magenta eyes shifted with wonder as he watched you try to solve who was causing issues for multiple players across the school. Since then, Lilia had taken a secret liking to you.

Recently, Lilia had spent more time trying to court you, sending small gifts and talking with you more. Retelling his memories from the fae war was one of his favorite pastimes. He could feel the excitement radiate off of your body and your eyes were so cute. "Wow, Lilia-senpai! Sounds like you were really tough back then, that's so cool!"  Your voice repeats in his mind, sending sparks to his heart. Flashing you a sharp toothy smile whenever you made him laugh, looking at you with large, almost expectant, eyes. To say the fae was entranced with you was an understatement. He felt like he was so very close to asking you to become his partner.

That was until he noticed you embrace his fellow club-mate, Cater. A smile was visible on Lilia's face as his heart wrenched. He approached you as usual, brightly exclaiming your name. You turned to face him, still smiling after your interaction with Cater, who had already left.

"Oh, Lilia-senpai! Hi!" you giggled as the bicolored hair boy was close. "How are you doing?"

"Hi (y/n)! Ah, I was just wondering if we were still going to my room later to hang out." His voice was cheerful, but carried a bit of tension, which you had yet to notice. "I thought we could go into another… history lesson?"

Your eyes lit up at the idea, excited to hear another one of Lilia's stories. "I would love to! I'm finished with everything, so let's go now!"

"Mm, I love your enthusiasm (y/n)." Magenta eyes turned dark as he took your hand and led you to Diasomnia.

Lilia's room was cozy and familiar. You sat with him on the side of his bed as he joined you.

"Hm, I think it would be interesting to discuss how we… interrogated our enemies." Lilia's voice trailed off, maybe in a way where he was thinking of the past.

"Oh, like… torture..?" You asked, unsteady. He turned to you, his smile back on his face. "Yes! And if it's okay, I'd like to show you, with a demonstration."

You were confused, yet intrigued. "I- okay," you started hesitantly. "Is it gonna hurt?"

The fear in your voice only made Lilia's heart soar. You were so cute and you were all his. "No, my dear, I assure you it won't. If anything you might like it..!" He giggled as he shook his head.

Your eyes scanned the floor, searching for words. Eventually, you returned his gaze. Y'know what? Sure, show me, Lilia-senpai!"

"Heh, I knew you'd do this for me~"

~~~

Your arms were tied to the upper corners of his bedpost with your legs free. Your jacket had been placed neatly on his chair. A cloth was stuffed into your mouth. It all felt so… weird for some reason, even though you already verbally agreed. Trusting Lilia should have been enough, though, he had been so nice to you. There was nothing to fear.

Suddenly, as you felt the sides of your shirt lift, you couldn't help the surprised whimper that fell from your mouth. His cold fingers descend onto your exposed sides, causing you to start giggling in joy. "MMPh!!!" your core was contracting with the laughs that wracked your body.

"Aah, my sweet (y/n), your laughs are so precious. I want to hear more!" Lilia's eyes grew darker as his grin extended. He crawled on top of you, sitting on top of your crotch. His cold fingers tickled the sides of your body once more. He reveled in the way you writhed under him.

"Nnnh!! hh- hmm, MMH!!!!" You did your best to shake your head and kick your legs, signalling you wanted him to stop.

"Oh, you want me to stop?" Lilia questioned innocently, turning his head to the side. You nodded profusely, sighing in relief when he finally did.

"What were you doing with Cater?" it came out as more of a demand rather than a question. His tone automatically brought sweat to your face. In the confusion, you could only manage to say a measly "huh?"

"(Y/n). I saw him touch you, earlier. He likes you doesn't he?" Lilia's smile was slight, still there, but small. And his eyes seemed like they looked in yours, but were almost looking beyond you.

"How about this, I'll remove the cloth so you can talk to me." As soon as it was removed, you breathed in and out rapidly, gasping for air.

"I- Lilia-senpai, Cay-kun and I are just friends…" You said, gulping. Yet, his expression hadn't changed.

"And, even if he did hug me, I didn't do anything wrong! You and I are just friends too, so you shouldn't question if other people like me or not…"

Wrong answer. Lilia's smile faded and he seemed visibly upset, crossing his arms.

"Hm." Was the only noise he released as you felt the tickling begin at your sides again.

However, his eyes were still trained on you, and his arms still crossed. Looking down, you saw green feathers moving on their own, tickling up and down your sides. You laughed - laughed until it really started to hurt. There was pain in your abdomen that only worsened over time. Your kicking legs suddenly felt as if they were bound in place, probably also due to Lilia's magic.

"Ah, aahn- Lilia-senpai, s-stop!! Please!!" You cried, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

"Hm, let's amp this up, no?" Lilia brought his hand to his mouth, smiling deviously.

Lilia's weight was lifted off of your body along with the torturous ministrations the feathers wreaked on you.

Chest heaving up and down, you felt as if your body was too tired to do anything. However, as soon as you felt your pants being unbuttoned and undone, you spared some energy to lift your head.

Lilia's fingers dragged your pants down to your knees, chuckling once he saw the arousal in your underwear.

"Aah, my sweet (y/n), I guess you don't really hate this, no?" He teased, bringing a finger to swipe at your clothed crotch. “Hmm, you’re so wet for me!”

"Oh!!" You turned away from Lilia, embarrassed about your own situation. "Lilia-senpaaai~, please, haanh, stop…!" You moaned, finger still rubbing at your arousal.

Again, the feathers started to torture you. The tickling brought pain and tension back into your body. Your screams molded into moans, heat coming straight to your cheeks as Lilia's fingers were still stroking you through the thin cloth.

"Hm, I'll think about it! How's this, I'll stop once you tell me you love me. You'll be my sweet (y/n) and I'll be your boyfriend!" Lilia's eyes shone, staring into yours. Goosebumps littered your skin as you heard his words.

"Ah, wh-what!? N-no..!" You protested, still writhing underneath him.

"Tsk, I guess you've chosen this then…" The speed of Lilia's fingers quickened their pace, ultimately slipping under the waistband of your underwear, stroking you directly.

"Oh- ah, oh fuck… " You couldn't help but let a curse slip from your mouth. "Lilia-senpaiii~ don't… stop…" You close your eyes in shame, as the sensation of Lilia's fingers invaded your senses.

"My sweet (y/n), oh my darling." Lilia coos, "It seems like you really like your punishment, don't you?" His tone teased you.

"Haah, fuck, I- I love it, so- aanh~ much..!" your babbling only grew as your climax approached rapidly.

Your moans only grew louder as you felt the feathers now tickling your pert nipples.

"Lilia, Lilia, haanh, Lilia-senpai!!!" You repeated his name like a mantra, breathing and growing more and more erratic.

Your moans were making the fae's cock twitch in his pants, yet he held himself back. He wanted to really take you when you were lovers. But that would be soon enough, wouldn't it?

"(Y/n), am I making you feel good?" Lilia's voice drew out. His voice was deep with lust and only sent tingles throughout your body.

"Y-yes, fuck! Lilia-senpai, I love- mmh, it feels so gooood~" you moaned, eyebrows furrowing together. You felt sinful, in pain and yet also pleasure. The tickling was stimulating your nipples while Lilia's fingers kept going faster.

"Lilia-senpai~ I- I'm gonna cum…" you turned into his pillow, muffling your moans. Drool was spilling from your mouth and you didn't even realize it. "Please, Lilia-senpai, make me cum!! I love it!! I- I love you, Lilia-senpai!!" you screamed, teetering on the edge of your orgasm.

Lilia moaned with you, absolutely loving your drunken confession. "Yes, my love, my (y/n)!" Lilia groaned. "Cum for me, my darling. Then we will be bound together!" His fingers stroked you with fervor, feathers teasing your body even more.

You reached your orgasm, screaming as liquid spurted out of you. As you rode your high, Lilia's fingers slowed. The feathers' torture on your body also ceased, leaving you to breathe heavily. Your arms were unbound, and you didn't even realize you were shivering from head to toe. Even with the freedom to move you couldn't.

Lilia's lithe body found its way to slump next to yours, arms wrapping around your form and pulling you close.

"I love you, (y/n). You're mine, now." Lilia's voice whispered softly into your ear.

[freedomfireflies]

Weedboiii Void | 4. Horny Intentions

Summary: Royal is a patient at Eichen House. Colin happens to be, too. But this mysterious boy is more than just fake blonde hair and weed.

He's also the voice in his head.

Word Count: 3.7k

(Seriously this...with the blonde hair? Phew)

She’s by his side for hours, waiting rather impatiently for any sign of consciousness.

He’s breathing, signifying he’s alive, and that’s all Royal allows herself to focus on.

If he’s in pain, or if he’s being tortured, or if he’s not really Colin at all are questions that she won’t entertain. Not until she knows for sure that she brought him back.

She manages to drag him to the couch, laying his weighty, motionless body on the sofa in the most comfortable position she can adjust him to.

She hopes that’s enough.

She watches the already drab and gray room sink to a darker color of night, the room filling with shadows and cold chills as the asylum tucks itself into bed for the evening.

She wonders if the nurses know she’s missing.

Her eyes are drawn to his face. Magnetized. She lets herself drink in his features. His long lashes. His powder pink lips. His artificial hair, now laced with sweat and falling across his forehead in a lazy display. 

He is rather beautiful. She figures she clocked that the moment she first saw him. Hadn’t thought much of it, of course, but as he lays privy to her gaze, she lets the knowledge of his attractiveness become known.

She supposes then that his striking features are what led her into the drunken state of trust she exhibited with Void earlier this afternoon.

Supposes she entertained the idea of letting him have his way not because of his power, but because of his prowess. Because how could she say no to such a handsome face?

The moment the dangerous realization enters her mind, it’s shooed away by the shift of Colin’s hips as he begins to wake.

She feels her heart leap to her throat with reprieve, eagerly turning in her spot on the small corner of the cushion to face him as she waits.

Those long lashes of his flutter open, the soft chocolate of his eyes finding the ceiling as he studies it for a moment, his hand moving up his stomach to rest on his chest.

As if feeling for something.

Maybe a heartbeat.

She senses he knows she’s in the room, although he makes no move to speak. Maybe he’s contemplating something. Maybe he’s remembering.

“Colin?” she calls quietly, taking note of his rigid posture. “Are you all right?”

He offers one, short nod. “Yeah. M’fine.”

He keeps his gaze above him, refusing to acknowledge her presence, and her mind is quizzical to know why.

He remembers, she thinks. He remembers and he’s upset. He doesn’t like what I’ve done. He’s disgusted.

“Where did you go?” she decides to ask instead, although the moment she verbalizes her query, she scowls, sensing it might not make sense. “After he left, you…you fainted. Did you…did he take you back?”

Colin softly inhales a delicate breath, eyes narrowing in thought. Recalling the events to his mind. “No. I don’t think so…exactly. But he was angry.”

Her lips purse shut, almost tempted to nod with agreement. Of course, he was upset. She suspected nothing less.

“How did you do that?” he asks her now, head rolling to the side as his curious gaze lands upon her. “Rever…whatever. Whatever you said, how did you…how did you get him to let go?”

“I don’t know,” she admits honestly, glancing down at her hands in her lap. “It was the only word I could think of. Réveiller. To awaken.”

“French?”

“Yeah.”

His inquisitive expression remains put, although his eyes move back to the ceiling. “Well…it worked.”

“Did it?” She turns her body a bit more to fully face him. “Are you…you?”

She watches his lip pull into a smirk as he keeps his focus upwards. “I think you’d know if I wasn’t.”

She pauses. Perhaps he’s right. The way Void speaks versus the way Colin speaks is nothing if not dissimilar.

“Are you all right?” she asks again, a bit firmer this time around, compelling nothing but honesty in his confession.

Now he’s the one to pause, mulling over her words to look for the deeper meaning. She knows he’ll find it. He might even sense it from her tensed muscles alone.

“Whatever it takes,” he murmurs, smiling softly to himself as he repeats her promise. “Wasn’t such a bad idea to lure him in that way.”

Lure. Yes, that’s what she was doing. Luring him. Breaking his walls down. Learning his deception.

Letting him kiss her was only a tool in her bag of tricks to get what she wanted. Yes, that’s right. It was a trick.

His face turns to her. “He wanted me to watch.”

Royal can feel her cheeks flush with white-hot embarrassment, her eyes flicking back down to her nailbeds. “I wasn’t sure what else—but we didn’t agree on that, and I…I’m not even sure how it happened.”

A soft chuckle. Kinder than Void’s. Still humorous, perhaps even teasing, but enough to help wash the blush from her face. “Relax, Mama. M’not mad.”

A fraction of relief floods her anxiety-riddled stomach. “I know, I just…I wasn’t sure how much you were aware of. Didn’t want to do something you’d regret.”

“I’d never regret you,” he tells her without pause, the words sweeping off his tongue without a second's hesitation. As if it were a thought in his mind. Something not meant to be heard by her ears.

But he doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t seem to regret vocalizing such an admission.

And that does more to calm her than the morphine the nurses give her ever has.

She looks to the discolored walls of the basement, needing a different focal point to ease her humiliation. “Where do you go?” she asks him now. “When he’s in control?”

He contemplates her question, and she feels his eyes move away from her profile as he does. “I don’t know…exactly. I don’t think anywhere. I feel…drunk, almost. Or like…I’m drowning or some shit. Like what I’m watching is happening in slow motion. What I’m saying, what I’m touching, what I’m doing is on a delay. I hear him say something—hear myself say something and I can’t quite figure out why I’d say it.”

She nods, urging him to continue.

“And then…it’s just over,” he exhales softly as if presently reliving it. “And he’s gone. Back to the shadows, but never far.”

But never far.

“Why does he need to talk to me?” The question driving her mad. The question that’s done nothing but haunt her since the moment he said it. “Why me?”

Colin’s lashes flutter as if momentarily confused before his head rolls back to the right. “I think you should tell me.”

Her brows raise nearly to her hairline as she leans back. “Well, how would I know?”

“He feeds off chaos,” Colin reminds her, moving to sit up on his elbows, leveling their eye line. “Drawn to trauma. If he feels safe in your mind…then you must have a lot of fucked up shit going on in there.”

His chin thrusts toward her as he eyes her forehead and she’s tempted to shrink away from his pointed stare.

“Well, he found you first,” she attempts to retort, although her statement is nothing if not obvious. “So…your trauma is worse than mine.”

“Oh, we’re comparing sizes, now?”

“Maybe. You’re the one who walked in on me in the shower, and I don’t think that was just to smoke.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Sugar,” he snorts, hissing the nickname just to mock her. “I go there no matter who’s in there.”

She squares her shoulders. Meets his eyes. “You said you wanted to ruin me.”

He freezes. Like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Face flushing so quickly, she’d almost believe he saw a ghost. 

She carries on. “You said you wanted to ruin me. For him. That he wanted you to take what you couldn’t have. And what you couldn’t have was me.”

Royal knows he wants to look away. And yet, he forces himself to keep his eyes on hers, gaze never faltering. 

“He wanted me to take you, but he didn’t want me to have you,” Colin corrects, watching as her head tilts. “Trust me, there’s a difference.”

“He didn’t want you to fuck me,” she reiterates, and his eyes flutter back into a roll. “Yeah, I gathered that much. Doesn’t change what you said—”

“Well…it wasn’t exactly me who said it,” he grunts, finally looking toward the socks on his feet. “Sometimes it does that, it…it mixes what I say with what he says. Like we’re both in control.”

Her eyes narrow, recalling the conversation to her mind. Attempting to piece together who might have said which line. “So, he wants to ruin me?”

Another pause. “Yeah.”

“Do you?”

She’s not exactly sure why she’s pushing the subject. Not sure why it’s important. No matter what his answer is, it doesn’t exactly change—

“Yes.”

Her chest tightens. Yes. Yes, he wants to ruin her.

“How?” she asks quickly, despite how blunt it comes across. “Why?”

He makes an incredulous noise. “What do you mean how and why? How do you think?”

“Ruining me could mean a number of things,” she defends, brushing a stray curl from her face. “Emotionally. Mentally. Physically, in more ways than one.”

His fingers flex by his sides. His expression falls flat. “I think you know exactly how I meant it.”

She takes a breath. Slumps in her spot. Considers that yes, she does know what he meant, but she needed to make sure. “In my defense, I don’t know you well enough to know your intentions.”

“Well, my intentions are horny,” he attempts to tease, and he succeeds in forcing a small smile from her lips. “And it doesn’t fucking matter anyway because I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

A beat. Then, she moves a little closer toward him, mulling over their options. “Can he hear me?”

A question she probably should have asked a lot sooner, although, for some reason, it never occurred to her that a spirit would have ears.

Colin shakes his head as he frowns. “I don’t think so. At least not…everything. S’the same for me. It’s just…fragments. Never the whole conversation.”

“Good.” Another scoot. “Because I think we need to try again.”

A scoff. Full of disbelief and boredom. “Are you out of your fucking—”

“He wants to be let in, right?” she carries on, despite his clear dismissal. “Well, how else do I let him in?”

“You don’t want to let him in,” he answers for her. “S’the fucking point, Royal.”

“He can’t be in control of us both, can he?”

“I don’t fucking know. Maybe.”

“Then maybe we transfer the power—”

“No.”

Her jaw clamps shut. “Why not? Aren’t you tired of playing host?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna hoist him off on someone else,” Colin informs her, rather furiously for someone who claims to despise the voice in his head. “He kills who he feeds off of. I’m not gonna sentence you to die—”

“Why does it matter? You don’t even know me—”

“It matters.” He moves to sit up all the way, his face now much closer to hers as she quickly leans away, flustered. “All right? It matters.”

“Why?” 

“Because…I—it doesn’t matter why.” He’s exasperated. Stammering as his hands move to run down his face, pulling at his skin in heated emotion. “It’s my choice and I’m telling you no.”

Her head moves to the side, tilting as she observes his infuriated state. “Colin, I’m a big girl, I can—”

“No,” he repeats, firmer. Resolute. “I said no, Royal.”

Her face flushes with shame. Anger. Who does he think he is to chastise her? Treat her like a child?

And why? Why wouldn’t he feel relieved to know he has an out to the madness in his own mind? Why wouldn’t he be glad she offered her body and soul to the hungry spirit’s teeth?

She doesn’t push, however, the sting of his rejection still burning in the pit of her stomach. “Fine. We at least need to figure out why he’s here. What he is. How to get rid of him.”

“Maybe we don’t,” Colin scoffs now, leaning back against the cushions as he pulls his knees to his chest, keeping them secured by the wrap of his arms. “Maybe he just is. And he’ll just keep feeding off me and my fucking dark, twisted past until he kills me.”

His words indicate humor, but his tone is cold. Like the cement beneath her feet. “You’d just let him kill you?”

His shoulder rises and falls. “Yeah. Don’t see why not. Not really much else to live for.”

“Well…don’t you—” She clears her throat, struggling to find an argument. “Don’t you have fans? And a career? Isn’t that…I mean, they’d be crushed, I’m sure.”

He has to physically restrain himself from smiling so wide as a soft, airy laugh escapes. “Nah, they don’t…it’s not like that.”

“Not like what? Aren’t you famous?”

“No,” he snorts quickly, still attempting to tame the giant grin as he shakes his head. “I mean…maybe. Not, like, Kardashian famous or shit. But…I don’t know. No.”

“Yes,” she corrects, smirking some herself. “No need to be humble, Weedboiii.”

She knew the name would come to her eventually, having run across his account one or two times before. She’s thankful now for her ability to retain useless bits of information, like an Instagram handle entitled Weedboiii Colin. 

It’s not much, but it is a bit more to the puzzle of who the handsome boy really is, and as she says it, she notices his muscles relax.

“Yeah, all right, bite me,” he scoffs, shaking his head as he looks out into the dark room, although his expression indicates his amusement. “Fine, I guess I’m Instagram famous. Not that that actually means a fucking thing in here.”

She has to agree that might be true and doesn’t see fit to argue with him. “Well…still. They’d be disappointed.”

“Right.” Another snort.

“And Lawson,” she continues, the other handsome face flashing through her mind the moment she utters his name. “He really cares about you.”

Now, he does pause, as if contemplating. “Yeah.” Softer this time. Accepting.

“And…me.”

The muscles recoil, his gaze dropping before it flitters back over to her. 

He makes no comment.

She offers no explanation.

His eyes move back to the darkness.

“I think I could get him to talk,” she tells him after the moment has passed. “Like you said, I can…I can lure him. Maybe…give him part of what he wants.”

As if a reflex, his focus snaps to her. “What does that mean?”

She brings her hands together, pulling at the nail on her thumb as she bites her lip. “Well, what if I…what if we…”

“Spit it out,” he huffs, impatient, and curious.

He has to know what she’s trying to say. She doesn’t doubt that he does. Only wants to make her actually say it.

“What if I let him fuck me?”

There. She said it.

She hates the way her cheeks fill with humiliation. Hates the way her breath hitches in her throat. Hates the way her skin feels like it’s on fire.

She’s not embarrassed. Not ashamed. Not even shy.

Yet, the words are blurted into the air, rushed and forced, as if ripping a band-aid. 

Because she’s not proposing she sleep with the enemy. She’s proposing that Colin sleep with her.

Through the enemy.

Sort of.

He merely blinks at her, his silence causing her features to collect in a wince.

There was a much better way she could have said that. 

“You want me to fuck you?” he restates, and for a second time, her chest constricts with mortification. 

“Kind of…yes.” God, this is worse than The Cage, she thinks. “Just to…get his guard down. Soften him up.”

“Well, if he’s fucking you, I sure as fuck hope he’s not soft,” Colin retorts, and his mild teasing helps alleviate some of the guilt attempting to crawl its way in. “Cause that wouldn’t bode well for me.”

She begins to chew on the inside of her cheek as she looks away from him, not quite sure if that was his way of agreeing and too ashamed to ask for clarification. 

His throat clears before she feels the sofa dip as he readjusts. “Look, if you’re waiting for me to tell you I don’t wanna fuck you…I wouldn’t hold your fucking breath.”

The pink hue returns to her skin.

“I mean…I guess I wouldn’t be doing it, but…yeah.” Another shrug. “If you gotta fuck me to save me…I’m all for it.”

She wants to sigh at the number of times he’s repeated the word fuck. She supposes it’s an adequate use of the word, although the fowl connotation does nothing to help ease the weight of the subject at hand.

Not that anything really could.

“Okay…great.” She turns back to him, suddenly unsure how to proceed. “Uh…can I…do you want me to call him back?”

She notices the clench of his jaw. The bob of his throat as he swallows. The tense in the muscles of his arm as his fingers flex by his side.

He’s scared.

Her heart aches for him. Aches for the internal conflict he endures when deciding to let the monster take control of him. When deciding to let himself be dragged under the water of his subconscious.

Finally, he nods, narrowed eyes flicking to hers. “Yeah.”

In unison, they scoot closer, knees knocking together as they adjust themselves on the cushions until they’re face to face.

Her hands dance about the air, as if itching to grab hold of him and call the monster back, but hesitating.

He nods again. “S’fine. Go.”

She rolls her lips into her mouth, sucking in a sharp breath before doing so, and reaches for his face.

His skin is cold. Dry. Still. Signs of—

No. 

She can’t think about that.

She clears her throat, meeting his stare. “Okay.”

“Whatever it takes,” he repeats, voice hoarse. Urgent. Direct. “Whatever you have to do…do it. I don’t care.”

Her pulse races. Nerves quiver with unease. “Okay,” she whispers again.

Another nod. He straightens up. Braces himself. Squares his shoulders. Waits.

Her trembling fingers cement themselves to his cheeks. She wills her confidence to steady. Wills herself to do what has to be done.

“Void?” she murmurs, eyes flicking back and forth between his. Looking for signs. Looking for him. “I need to talk to you, I’m…I’m ready.”

The seconds bleed into minutes. 

Still, Colin remains.

His brows furrow while her head cocks to the side.

“Void?” she repeats, a bit louder, her touch hardening. “Void, I…I need to speak with you. I know you’re there.”

Silence.

Colin grows frustrated, tugging his face from her hands as he glares off into the distance. “Oh, now you fucking shut up?”

She watches him. “Maybe he’s…gone?”

“He’s not fucking gone,” Colin scoffs, reaching his fingers up to scratch at the marks on his neck. “Nah, he’s never fucking gone. He’s just mad.”

“Mad?” She sent him away. Refused him. “Oh.”

Colin runs a hand through the blonde hair askew atop his head. “Come on, you little shit. You wanted this, right? She’s fucking offering herself to you and now you go quiet?”

Royal is tempted to argue she’s not exactly offering herself, although as the thought mulls over in her mind, she realizes…she just might be.

“Come on…come on,” he growls before his eyes squeeze shut.

She sighs as she looks around the basement, eyes lingering on the large fan, watching as the blades circle around and around. “Maybe there’s another way to lure him out.”

“Yeah? How?”

She turns back to him, steady hand reaching for his. She pulls it from his knee. Tugs it onto her own lap.

She feels him tense. Notices the way his eyes enlarge. Sees the hesitation in his movements. 

 He’s beginning to understand. Beginning to see the picture she’s painting, and despite the weight of their predicament, he smiles.

He follows her lead, moving further onto the sofa, crawling closer to her. Placing himself beside her. Fingers moving to her chin.

He tilts her head up, lust-filled gaze falling across her features and down to her lips. “Well, well, well…”

She’s thankful he seems to have caught onto her not-so-subtle hint without her having to explain it. She fears if she had tried to put her suggestion into words, she never would have followed through.

“Seems it’s my turn to have you,” he murmurs, smirking some as if encouraging her.

He’s playing the game. He’s playing it well. She can feel the fog in her mind thicken.

He’s close.

“Yes,” she breathes, nodding as she captures her lip between her teeth, innocent eyes meeting his.

He hums, hand running up her leg, his touch eerily familiar and yet drastically different from Void’s.

His head dips closer, lips dangerously close to the shell of her ear as he inhales her. “Whatever it takes, yeah?”

Her heart is hammering inside her chest. The logical part of her brain (which she likes to tell herself is larger than the rest) knows better than to pursue this foolish remedy. Knows better than to play with something she doesn’t understand. Knows better than to surrender to her desires.

Knows better than to desire him.

And yet, she does. Whether that desire lies with Colin or Void, she’s not sure.

Perhaps she doesn’t really want to know.

She nods her agreement, consenting to the proceeding of his hand moving up her thigh.

Despite herself, despite the warnings, despite the logical side of her brain…she knows she wants this. Whatever this is. Whoever this is.

And by the look on his face, she could almost be tricked into believing he does, too.

With that, he moves his lips to hers, kissing her hard and with fervor until her head begins to spin and each and every one of those warnings flutters away like confetti in the wind.

“You’re my little fox now.”

Next:

~ Weedboiii Void | 5. So Fucking Damaged*

Previous:

~ Weedboiii Void | 3. Clever Little Fox*

Full Masterlist

[ddarker-dreams]

Grace of Helios. Yan Albedo x Reader

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, and implied drugging. Word count: 2.1k.

“Albedo.”

His inquisitive eyes run over hastily scribbled words, and he mutters beneath his breath, mentioning verbal corrections to fix at a later time. The candlelight which illuminates his face highlights signs of exhaustion, the bags beneath his eyes dark and prominent. When was the last time he slept? Or took care of himself in general?

These aren’t questions you’ll be asking much longer.

“Albedo, I’m bleeding out,” you let out a long sigh, the monotone in your voice betraying the urgency one would expect with such a declaration. “I can see the light. It’s all over for me. I’ll see you on the other side, or maybe I’ll come back as a ghost and haunt you.”

Finally, after dedicated minutes of trying, you earn but a speck of his prized attention. “You don’t look to be in physical peril to me.”

And with that, he’s back to submerging himself into research. Research, research, research — you never thought you’d come to abhor an innocent word so deeply. The connotations it held poured bitterness into your heart like a venom-filled pitcher. Research meant that you would go long days without seeing Albedo, sometimes without so much as a goodbye. Whether or not he would send poor Sucrose to inform you of his location was a coin toss too. It also meant that you were moved from first to second place in his priorities, a demotion that reminded you of a child throwing out an old toy in favor of a more exciting one.

All of this was a perfect cocktail to form your overflowing cup of discontentment.

You don’t know why you’re bothering to confirm what you’ve already known for months. Maybe it was to ease the slight guilt you felt for what would come next, or maybe it was to further fuel the indignation that you’ve been running on. His rejection was a sweet yet cruel mistress. It further cemented that you weren’t oversensitive, that you weren’t imagining the pain that’s weighed you down. The source of your distress was also what would help get you out of it.

“Albedo,” you try again, standing from your spot on the couch in his office to approach him. Slowly, as not to disturb him too much, you try to secure your arms around his shoulders. “I—”

He sets his paper down with a touch more force than necessary. “[First]. You understand that this study is important to me, correct?”

His every word is drawn out like he was speaking down to you, like you were nothing but a mere child, incapable of grasping the most simple of concepts. You shrink back from him and wrap your arms around your torso for a semblance of comfort. He’s staring at you now — isn’t it funny how that’s all you ever wanted — his visage decidedly neutral. Were you not worth getting upset over? Could he not bother to give you a slight reaction?

“I do.”

He nods and turns around like his point was proven by your sullen admission.

“Then please let me focus just a bit longer. I’ll be done sooner that way.”

That’s a lie, you think. It worked the first time. The second and third time too. You’d give a meek apology for interrupting his important work, maybe a kiss on the cheek for good measure, then pad away to your bedroom to sleep alone for the night. He’d still be in the same position come morning. You didn’t bother checking when you made his coffee, you just brought it in, following the same dreary routine without a second thought.

This time you don’t turn to leave his office with your head hung and your shoulders slumped. You’ve had enough time to adequately mourn your relationship’s dilapidated state, right now, what you want to focus on is the future. The endless possibilities that will open up once you put an end to things here.

“I’m breaking up with you.”

It doesn’t hurt to say as much as you thought it would. If anything, you feel like he’s expressed this sentiment to you with his actions rather than his words. You stand at the door frame, almost surprised by how collected you’ve managed to stay, awaiting whatever reaction he’ll give. After that, you’ll have to figure something out. You’ve lived under Albedo’s roof for the past two years, delegating your time between hobbies and housework, so a lot’s going to change. He won’t have anyone to chastise him for not getting enough rest or to bring him meals. That’s no longer your responsibility — you’re going to prioritize yourself from now on.

Albedo’s staring at you again. His eyes drop to your hips and then back up again. There’s no telling what goes on in that genius mind of his, you’ve dedicated too much time trying to decipher just that. The longer the silence drags on, the more you want to fade away, yet you refuse to back down. This is for your own good. You did everything you could be reasonably expected to do, things just didn’t work out.

“I’ve… I’ve already packed my things,” you hold your hands together and fiddle with your fingers. “So there’s no need to worry about that. I’ll, uh, be going now. Goodbye, Albedo.”

Everything’s good. You’ll be on your way after this. Everything’s okay.

“You said you were planning to visit your family,” is what Albedo breaks his silence with. You blink, the hasty cover-up from earlier this afternoon resurfacing. That’s right — he walked in on you packing your things into a suitcase. In your panic, you mentioned something about a surprise trip back to Fontaine, to which he gave a noncommittal hum. You hadn’t realized he was paying attention to you with how distracted he appeared.

Why is that what he’s focusing on now?

“I’m sorry. I hate lying, I just… I wasn’t sure about things, and it just kinda slipped out,” you take a deep breath, filling your lungs with much-needed air. In your anxiety, you’ve forgotten to breathe, something thick has been filling the air.

He sets his paper down and stands. “So I assume you didn’t send a letter to your parents, informing them of your visit?”

“No…?”

You’re ending your two-year-long relationship, which was predated by a year of close friendship, and that’s what he decides to say? Your stomach churns with something akin to frustration. Leading up to this pivotal moment, you swore to yourself to keep things civil. No flinging insults, cursing or throwing things in a fit of rage. It may have been deserved with how cold he’s been with you, but you’re adults. Leaving on such a sour note didn’t sit well with you.

It’s growing more tempting to go back on that promise by the second.

He stops in front of you, leaving little distance. You wait in unease for him to make his case.

“I know I’ve been busy,” Albedo starts, thoroughly watching your movements. “This particular study is almost at its conclusion. I only need to run through a few more trials, then I can finalize and submit my report. I’ll spend more time with you after that.”

You hate how reasonable he sounds. Whether it’s intentional or not, it belittles your feelings, like you were overreacting to a minor grievance and not a constant problem. He’s said some version of this to you many times by now. You could bring this point up as a counterargument, but you’re exhausted; and your mind is made up. There’s nothing that could convince you to stay.

“Your research is what matters most to you. There’s nothing wrong with that, Albedo. I’ve made peace with it. I really do think it’d be best for us both to part ways.”

The tone of your voice is calm and without malice, an extended peace offering. You can break things off here in a clean cut. There’s no need to stoop low and bring him down, you care about him too much to do that. Yes, that’s it, you just want things to conclude uneventfully.

“My research isn’t what matters most to me,” he corrects. Then, he takes your wrist in his gloved hand, the familiar sensation of fabric rubbing against your skin sending shivers up your spine. “You are.”

Tears threaten to spill out of your eyes, yet you will yourself to remain calm. “I don’t feel like that’s true. You’re… you’re just saying that so I won’t go.”

“I’m not the best at showing how I feel. That doesn’t mean they’re any less real,” he closes his eyes and lowers his voice. “Stay.”

“Why are you...” your voice cracks, so you pause, thrashing your head from side to side like it would help remove the festering thoughts from your mind. “I’ve made my decision. Please, let’s just—”

His grip on your wrist tightens yet his expression stays the same. “You don’t understand, do you?”

“Understand what?”

“Let’s say you do follow through and leave. And then what? Are you capable of traversing down the mountain on your own?” Albedo tilts his head to the side.

It’s almost like he’s peering past your flesh and bone, confronting your soul, tendrils of self-doubt beginning to hold it captive like weighty chains. You switch from neutral to defensive. Something about this interaction is off to you, almost as if the man in front of you was someone else entirely. The nameless itch that’s been bothering you this entire time is gaining a clearer form. Now you think you know why you’ve found this interaction strange.

He’s acting like you have no control. This entire time, that’s what he’s been implying with everything he does and says.

You tug your wrist free from his ever-tightening grip, rubbing the sensitive flesh and taking a step back. “I have a Vision. I’m more than capable of making it back to Mondstadt.”

“You’re not wearing it now,” he points out. Out of instinct, you touch where you’d normally secure your Vision only to feel nothing. You set it on your nightstand. Your plan was to change back after your confrontation with Albedo, as he’d wonder why you weren’t in your loungewear if your typical outfit was still on.

“Think about it, [First],” Albedo crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t want to make this more complicated than it has to be.”

“You aren’t making any sense.”

Another step back. The wooden floorboards of his cabin creak beneath you, and you freeze.

“I believe I am. You just don’t want to acknowledge it, which is understandable. Fight or flight response clouds one’s judgment and prevents them from making sound decisions… I thought a more subtle approach would make things easier for you to digest. That was an error on my behalf.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a test tube, filled with a murky blue liquid. “I’ll be clear. I have no intention of allowing you to leave — now or ever.”

“This isn’t funny,” your breathing picks up and dizziness begins to settle in. “Albedo, you’re freaking me out.”

“That’s why I was hoping you wouldn’t pull something like this, for your own sake.”

Nothing is making sense to you. What is with this chilling, almost threatening tone of his? There’s no way Albedo would ever hurt you. There’s no way. You just didn’t want to acknowledge it. Those are the particular words he chose, he must have had a reason for saying them.

Lying about your luggage’s purpose, following your night schedule so as not to alert him, refusing to say anything that could set him off despite the pain in your heart… you thought you were being mature. No, that’s what you spoon-fed yourself, in an attempt to maintain a veneer of normalcy. Why else would you tiptoe around someone so meticulously, plotting your every movement days in advance?

You’ve been scared of him this entire time.

“I prepared this in front of you,” Albedo holds the test tube closer for your inspection. “A sedative that enters through the respiratory system.”

The implication of his words sends your vision into a blur. “That— that means it’d knock you out too.”

You wouldn’t be able to make it upstairs fast enough if you used every last ounce of your strength. Albedo made a good point, without the proper equipment, descending the mountain is impossible. Running out the front door would be a guaranteed death sentence.

No response. So, you try again, with more urgency this time.

“... Right?”

He unscrews the cork with measured precision, his hands not so much as trembling from the gravity of what he was about to do.

“You’re welcome to find out.”

[mara-xx217]

I have a fun idea for you if you’re up for it! 💕Headcanons or in little blurbs, that’s definitely up to you. How would non-verbal/mute killers communicate with their beloved survivor? Grunts, growls and groans are one thing but do any of them communicate with touch? Sign language? A certain look they give?

Bonus: Whenever these killers are feeling frisky.. How would they let you know (nicely or mean) that they’d love to get down and dirty during a trial? 🥴

Awww hell YEAH! This is gonna be so much fun!

Philip Ojomo/The Wraith

Phil's vocal cords/mouth have been completely ruined by the Entity. Talking is now painful and uncomfortable for him, so it's rare for him to speak at all, anymore.

He's uncertain about touching you for the longest time, even after your relationship has been established and you've explained that yes, you want him to touch you, as much as he likes, within reason, of course.

Uses lots of hand gestures, almost making his own kind of sign language that only you and he understands. It takes a while for the two of you to get to this point, but the two of you have extortionary communication skills and patience with one another.

Max Thompson Jr./The Hillbilly

Poor boy's vocal cords are all sorts of messed up from his deformities, unfortunately. It isn't exactly painful to speak, but it's so frustrating and upsetting that he can't clearly express himself that he has mostly given up on talking all together. Aside from saying your name from time to time.

Touch has always been a difficult thing for him, so that's out of the question for the longest time. When it becomes a common occurrence for him, though? It's literally the only way he can communicate with you. Touching you to get your attention becomes common place, as does nudging you towards something or another, etc...

Before that? Lots of frustrated hand gestures and annoyed sighs and grumbles. He knows that you're trying your best, and you know he's doing the same, but it's no less frustrating for the two of you. A lot of patience is needed here.

Michael Myers/The Shape

Michael is, well... Michael. He just... does what he does with little regard to those around him.

If he wants something, he just... gets it. He isn't afraid to just grab you or whatever you're doing and interrupt you, no matter how time critical it may or may not be.

He isn't going to try and explain himself. He wants it? He gets it. Full stop.

Demogorgon

Demo... doesn't understand humans. They are almost exclusively prey for him, but then there's you. You smell nice. You give nice pets. You are nice. He wants to keep you around.

He doesn't understand words. He does pick up on tones and inflections of words, but not the language, itself. Use a higher pitch with higher energy for praise, and a lower, harsher tone for scolding.

Not unlike a dog or a cat in his behaviors. Kind of... herds you around by nudging you with his head. Will paw at you if you refuse to give him enough attention. Or just straight up sits on you. Lots of mouthing as well. Scream as loud as you can if he gets too rough, otherwise he won't know to stop.

Pyramid Head/The Executioner

Also struggles with typical human behavior (given he only deals with extremes on a daily basis), but he does understand human speech.

Extremely handsy. Will straight up grab you and haul you away if he's ready to go somewhere/if you are in danger. You aren't to be more than an arm's length away from him at any time, period.

Most likely would develop a hand gesture system that only the two of you would know, similar to Philip. It's cruder and simpler than what the Wraith would come up with, but it's functional and that's all that matters.

Talbot Grimes/The Blight

Can you say frustrated? Because he is fucking FRUSTRATED with how difficult it is to communicate now that his lower jaw is fucking missing.

Would be the one most incline to write VS using hand gestures. It's a bit ridiculous to do so in his eyes, and simply touching you all the time is a bit rude, don't you think?

Carries around a small book for the sole purpose of writing to/for you. His handwriting is a tad messier than it was before, but it's completely legible. Uses shorthand a lot from his time as a doctor, and it take you awhile to fully grasp it, but it makes thing much quicker for the both of you.

Nemesis

Well, he doesn't remember how to do human things much, and he can't even emote with his face at all. He doesn't know what to do with his hands, either.

What he does use is that tentacle of his. It's the way he expresses himself, both consciously and unconsciously. Is it swaying to and fro in a calm manner? Or is it swatting around like a cat's tail would when annoyed?

He'll use it to grab you, pull you closer and guide you along. It wanders your body, touching and prodding you to get your attention or show you something. It's the one thing that he can emote with freely and clearly.

NSFW under the cut 😏

Philip Ojomo/The Wraith

It takes my man a loooong time to gather the courage to even attempt to get frisky in trial. It's something that he desperately wants to do, so when he finally does manage to initiate it?

He'll be invisible, of course, and would silently herd you to a vacant area of the trial. Those cold and sharp hands of his would roam your body, letting you know explicitly what it is that he wants from you.

It's completely up to you whether or not you want to go all the way. Just want to fool around a bit? Perfectly fine with him. Want to go all the way? Hot, perfect. Don't want to do anything? Also fine. He wouldn't dream of hurting you, and what you want matters to him.

Max Thompson Jr./The Hillbilly

Hoo boy... You might need to be the one to initiate this... Maybe...

Maxie is a sweet boy, and he struggles with things of a sexual nature for the longest time. But God, know that he wants this so fucking much. When you take him by the hand and give him that look, fluttering your eyelashes and pulling him to a more... secluded area? F U C K

It's risky, it's impulsive and dumb and fuck it's the hottest thing he's ever seen. He'll hide his face, cover his mouth, try and stay quiet but he can't. You bring out a side of him that he didn't know that he had, and that Max would love to see more of.

Michael Myers/The Shape

Yeah... If Michael wants you, he'll just- kill all your friends and fuck you on top of their still twitching corpses. I'm sorry, I don't know what else you were expecting.

No warning, no foreplay, just- BAM! Fucking you. I hope you're horny, cause if not, you're gonna have a bad time.

You'll still be sore after the trial is over. The Entity can only do so much, boo thing.

Demogorgon

Uhh... Erm... Well... *coughs and whistles* ...There's no polite way to talk about this, so... Basically, when he's... in heat, you can smell it, and that's that, I guess.

He goes into a frenzy, you go into a frenzy, and it's a big ole mess for the Entity to clean up.

You'll be pinned down, and... uh, um... You know what, just go read this right here, and you'll get the idea...

Pyramid Head/The Executioner

He's similar to Michael, in that if he wants you, he'll just take you, if you'd like him too, of course. Or, hell, you could seek him out. He'll never deny you, lovely creature.

Can and will pick you up like a sack of potatoes and take you to... wherever it is that he wants you. And he'll man handle you as he has his way with you. He's careful, of course, but what's love without a little pain, hmm?

You're gonna be so damn sore lol.

Talbot Grimes/The Blight

Him? Doing such... ungentlemanly things to you? In such a public setting?! Nonsense! ...but when he really thinks about it...

There is something about... being able to tackle you and drag you to a quiet corner and fuck your brains out without any consequences that drives him fucking insane. It's nothing like what life used to be like for him, and this is so freeing and intoxicating for him.

Uses his claws a lot, marking you up and latching onto you like his life depends on it. You're gonna be absolutely filthy when he's done with you, so you better hope the Entity has some mercy and cleans you up a bit after the trial.

Nemesis

He is a killing machine, single minded in his purpose to kill all remaining members of S.T.A.R.S. and any others that get in his way. He doesn't have time to- to- Well, yes, he does like hugs, and kisses are nice, but- b-but- Oh. OH-!

Apparently, he's not as impervious to physical/sexual distractions as he initially thought... And when you give him that look while taking your clothes off- Yeah, he tells on himself when that tentacle of his is already pulling you close, even though he's still trying to show disinterest.

Your insides are fucking wrecked, but in a respectful way. No damage was probably done, and you both got your rocks off with plenty of time left in the trial to spare. Neat! And impressive! Maybe you can try to get a new best time next time...?

@prettycutebunny

@gore-loving-whore

@kennbb

@cherrysodalite

@dead-bxtch-walking

@space-arsonist

[randomshyperson]

Left Behind - Chapter 6 - Once a Promise, Always a Promise.

Gif was made by my official gif maker friend @abimess

Summary: The one where you lived in the apartment under the Maximoff family in Sokovia, or, your journey as a Sokovian civilian to Avenger.

Warnings: (+16) Violence, fighting, cursing, civil war environments, abuse of power, assault, torture, underage kissing, psychological torture, substance use, mention of assault/fighting of children, smut, kissing, teasing, insinuation of sexual and moral harassment, verbal offenses.

Words: 4.753k

A/N> It's been 84 years... I just hope someone still reads this haha Let me know what you think

All Works Masterlist || Read on AO3 || Series Masterlist

//-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-////-//-//-//-//

Chapter 6 - Once a Promise, Always a Promise.

When you wake up, you get your ass beaten up by an unknown woman.

You awaken all at once, advancing against the woman who was watching you sleep. Her surprise only lasts a second, however, as the next she returns your blow and knocks you to the ground, a gun pointed straight at your face.

Wide-eyed, you realize where you are and raise your hands.

"Sorry, sorry." You can quickly. "I thought I was in the lab again. Who the hell are you by the way?"

The woman raises her eyebrow at you.

"Cap, get over here before I shoot her."

And the next second, a blond man is running into the area of the ship where you are, looking worried.

"Let's all calm down, okay?" He asks as he sees the gun extended, and waits for the woman to put it down. You sigh lightly, rising to stand up.

"I'm sorry I attacked you, Miss." You ask as soon as you are on your feet, and massage your shoulder, which hit the ground hard when she knocked you down.

"It's fine, you just got beat up anyway." She teases, making you give a short laugh.

You were about to ask if they could let you off the ship anywhere, but a low groan of pain beside you caught your attention.

Just then you noticed the man lying on the stretcher next to you a few feet away, a large wound in his rib. You are also able to notice the rest of the ship, there is a man piloting a few meters away, and two men sitting further ahead, talking to each other.

"Hey, I can help." You stated immediately, but as soon as you moved, the woman stood in front of you, looking at you with suspicion and defiance, and you swallowed dryly. "I-I can heal him." You clarified, but the woman only changed her posture when the man next to you touched her forearm.

"Can you do that?" He asks you, and you nod. You wait for the woman to take a step back to approach the man on the stretcher.

"Hey, are you guys sure of this?" The man lying down asked uncomfortably, and you raise your hands in the air.

"Hi, I'm Y/N, I won't hurt you, I promise. "You guarantee it." Can I heal your injuries?" You ask and wait for him to confirm.

The wound is deep, but you have dealt with much worse.

"How did you do that?"

"It was nothing." You say as you put your hands down. His skin was completely intact again.

"This sure is cooler than lightning, huh, Thor?" Commented the blond as he sat down on the stretcher, clearly feeling better. The long-haired man at the back of the ship looks at you curiously as he stands up, and when he notices his colleague completely healed, he looks impressed.

"This sure is an interesting skill for a mortal." He says to you, and you don't know exactly what to make of those words, but you don't have time to comment, because he is already approaching to introduce himself. "My name is Thor Odinson, god of thunder."

You frown.

"G-god of thunder?" You repeat confused. "Sorry, is that some kind of joke?"

The woman next to you giggles, moving to sit on the stretcher next to the man you healed. The blond man in front of you looks slightly offended, but his expression softens immediately.

"I understand that at first, mortals may be incredulous at such a..."

"No, I just thought the title was funny." You interrupt the blond man, surprising him. "You guys are the Avengers, aren't you? My master has already told me about you."

“Your master?”

It is the other blond guy in the blue uniform who asks. You mentally repress yourself.

"Damn, sorry." You say. "It's what I used to call the soldiers and doctors who gave me orders."

"Your files say that you disappeared in Sokovia when you were younger, and what we found at the base were the records of the experiments they did on you." He adds, and you twiddle your fingers nervously. "I just want to make sure you're not going to try to bring the plane down with everyone inside."

The attempted joke is enough to make you smile, but you are beginning to feel overwhelmed. You really were free. After all this time, the idea seemed almost absurd.

You try to control your emotion at once, and the man seems to notice, because his expression softens immediately.

"Hey, come have a seat." He asks, signaling to one of the empty chairs, and you obey. "My name is Steve Rogers, and I promise you're safe now. Hydra will never hurt you again."

You nod frantically, feeling the tears in your eyes. But you try to normalize your breathing, not wanting to cry in front of strangers.

"I'm sorry, I just... I've just been trying to get away for so long." You confess next, wiping your eyes quickly. "It's weird to think I succeeded."

"We are going back to the Avengers tower now. Is there anyone you would like to get in touch with?" He asks, and his words make your stomach sink.

"Yes." You say. "But I have no idea where they are."

"Who? Your family?"

You give a short laugh.

"Yeah, I guess so. They were..." You start trying to remember exactly. You didn't even know how long it had been since the time you saw the twins at the Hydra base. You had no idea if they were alive, but you wanted to believe they were. Taking a deep breath, you continue. "They were my friends. Wanda and Pietro, we grew up together. They... I saw them once. When I still had the serum in my head. I..."

Seeing your difficulty in organizing your thoughts, Steve interrupts you by touching your forearm.

"It's okay." He says. "We'll find the twins."

"So they really are alive?"

Steve smiles.

"Yes." He answers and you feel your body relax all at once. "They ran away, I imagine they were scared, but we'll find them."

You gasp, unable to control your tears. Neither Steve nor the rest of the Avengers seem to care.

When you calm down, Steve introduces you to the rest of the team.

You are not exactly happy to meet Tony Stark. The mention of his last name makes you frown, because you know it was a Stark bomb that blew up your home at Sokovia, but when you accuse Tony, he seems really upset.

"Well, I guess you can get on the list of people who hate me then." He grumbles and you cross your arms, the whole team sensing the tension in the air.

"You could at least apologize for blowing up half of Sokovia with your weapons." You retort angrily, and the man rolls his eyes, not getting up from the armchair you were in.

"Sure, no problem. I'm sorry, kiddo. Happy?"

You clench your jaw, but before you can say anything, Steve steps forward.

"Tony, try not to be a jerk, okay?" The captain speaks and the other man lets out a wry laugh. "Have at least some respect for the girl's story."

"I have respect, Captain." He assures as he stands up, looking impatient. "What I don't have is time to revisit the past while our enemies get more and more powerful." He says and you frown in confusion. "I've already banned weapons production in the industries, and we've already taken on Hydra in that place. Now we can move on, because I need to get back to the compound and understand exactly what that thing is."

He speaks and finishes by signaling to the opposite side, and it is only then that you notice the shining scepter on the far side of the room and let out a surprised exclamation, taking three steps backwards.

"How did you guys get this?" You ask horrified and the team looks at you curiously.

"Have you seen the scepter before?"

"Of course I have!" You reply. "That's what gave me the healing! The damn stone went through my chest."

Thor steps forward, looking at you in surprise.

"So Hydra were able to decipher the scepter?

You laugh humorlessly.

"If by decipher you mean press the scepter against my chest while preening me in an iron chair, then yes." You reply, but take a deep breath to calm yourself. "A yellow stone came off as soon as the scepter touched me. And well, it went right through my skin. When I woke up, I could heal. But whatever it is, it killed all the soldiers who were holding me."

Thor seems to consider your words as Steve tells you that he is sorry for what you went through in Hydra.

Suddenly you remember where you first saw him.

"The man on the bridge!" You exclaimed, surprising him, but you were getting your memories gradually, and your heart was racing. "You are Captain America.... My god, where is Bucky?"

"Great, another fan of the metal arm." Tony comments sarcastically, but no one seems to care.

Steve looks at you with a frown.

"Is he safe? Is he free? Can I see him?" You ask promptly next, and Natasha chuckles.

"Hey, calm down." Steve asks and you swallow dryly, trying not to feel so overwhelmed with so many memories coming back at once. "How do you know Bucky?"

You blink in surprise.

"He...he didn't talk about me?"

It takes a second, and then Steve's eyes widen.

“Oh my god, you’re the guardian!

"I am what now?"

Steve lets out an incredulous laugh.

"The guardian." He repeats as if you were going to understand what he meant.

Natasha clears her throat.

"Captain, perhaps you'd better explain." She asks and Steve gestures quickly.

"We've been looking for you for months." Steve then adds, causing you to widen your eyes in surprise. "Bucky he... he's been trying to find you since he escaped. But he didn't know your name. All he knew was the nickname you got from the soldiers. The golden guardian of death. It's been our only tip to find you."

"I thought it was just golden guardian." Clint adds next, Nat makes a noise of agreement.

"No, I'm sure it was just Guardian of Death." Thor comments, but you are barely listening to the teasing, feeling your thoughts racing.

Steve raises his hands to your shoulders.

"Thank you so much for saving Bucky." He says before hugging you. You feel your neck heat up at the sudden contact, but do your best to reciprocate.

Steve lets you go then, smiling.

"He's going to be so happy to see you."

"Where is he?"

"At the compound." Steve replies. "He cannot attend field missions, it's part of the pardon. It's too much bureaucracy to explain now.."

"I think he's just lazy." Tony adds wryly, making the Avengers giggle.

And Steve's smile dies briefly.

"What's with you today, anyway, Stark?"

Tony sighs impatiently, finally rising from his armchair.

"I'm sorry if I'm not reacting in the way you consider proper captain, but I'm concerned about getting to work soon." He says as he moves toward you two. “I need to find out what this thing really is.”

"No, Stark, you won't touch this." It is Thor who announces, and all the avengers look genuinely surprised.

"I beg your pardon?" Stark retorted, but Thor didn't hesitate before he looked at you next.

"Describe to me again how you got your healing, mortal."

You sigh lightly.

"They locked me in an iron chair and brought the scepter." You narrated. "But they lie me on the chair next, and I could only feel the metal against my skin, and then I saw a yellow light. Something went right through my chest, and then right through." You say. "I blacked out for a second, the room was completely empty like a vision. When I blinked, it was back, but all the soldiers holding me were dead. And then they knocked me out."

"Before you said you saw a yellow stone?"

You nodded in agreement.

"I dreamed of this memory for several days." You clarify. "I was back in the room, but this time I watched myself. I saw when they put the scepter to my chest, and when the golden stone came out and went through my skin. It was the stone that released the wave of energy that killed the soldiers .I don't know why I didn't die too."

"A single blow that killed a group of soldiers at once." Thor mutters more to himself than to the rest of the teams. "It's decided then, no mortal must touch this. It's clearly far more power than anyone should have."

"This is ridiculous." Thor accused the next moment, making the team look at him curiously. "You can't just deny knowledge about something like that and..."

"Why are you so insistent on this, Tony?" It's Steve who asks suspiciously. Tony sighs, and gives a short laugh.

"You guys are unbelievable, you know." He says. "I'm trying to find new alternatives to our problems."

"What problems?" Steve asks with a confused grimace, and Tony rolls his eyes, looking nervous.

"Our enemies, Captain!" He snarls. "In case you haven't noticed, it hasn't been too long since we faced an army of robots coming from a hole in the sky!" He accuses. "We don't have the power to face this kind of thing. The scepter is exactly what I need to prevent the worst from happening."

"Where did that come from, Tony?" Steve retorted confused.

Stark gave a short laugh, rolling his eyes.

"I don't have time for this." He grimaced and moved to grab the scepter, but Thor stood in the way, arms crossed. "Really?" Tony impatiently charges, but Thor doesn't move. Stark clenches his jaw before declaring angrily. "I had a vision, okay? I saw all of us, defeated. Defeated because we didn't have the power to win. And I... I could have prevented it."

The avengers look as confused as you are, and remain silent. Tony sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"It was New York again, but this time the enemy won." He continues, visually upset. When he lifted his face in Steve's direction, his look was angry, but his eyes had tears in it. "And you told me that I could have stopped it."

“I wouldn't do that.” Steve says. “If we ever lose, I wouldn't blame you, Tony.”

Tony gives a short laugh.

“Wouldn’t you really?” He retorts. “I’m pretty sure you would, cap.”

Steve takes a step forward, his eyes soften as he looks at his friend.

“I promise you, Tony. If we lose, we lose together.” He declares. “That’s what being an Avengers means. I’m sorry if I was not clear before, and made you feel any different than this or…”

“Stop it!” Tony angrily interrupts. You flinch because you think you saw a familiar red light in his eyes. “Cut this sentimental crap, Steve. I’m just trying to do what’s necessary here.”

“Back off, Stark!” You order as you noted how he has moved his wand to the scepter, he seems surprised by the action too. You move in his direction as he takes two steps back, looking irritated. You gave him no time to answer however, as you raise your hands over his head and touch his forehead with your fingers before he can complain.

Immediately, you can feel the remnants of magic on Tony's head. You don't recognize it at first, but as your own magic removes the other energy, you sigh slightly. It feels familiar, but you don't know why. The energy is still harmful though, probably due to the intention of the one who cast it, but you manage to clean it all up.

You succeed because you coordinate your magic to wipe the other energy like you usually clear and heal wounds, and it seems to work, because Tony raises his hands to your wrist, his wide-eyed eyes soften and he looks almost startled.

"I'm sorry." He asks and swallows dryly. You remove your fingers from his forehead completely, watching with curiosity. He takes a deep breath, blinking several times as if waking up. "I'm sorry, everyone, I... Damn, it was like a horrible dream. I need to lie down for a minute."

And with that he leaves.

You don't ask questions anymore, because Steve is going after him, and you are trying to figure it out why you still feel the unknown magic tingling at your fingertips, as if it is trying to merge with yours.

//-//

You cry when you see Bucky again.

He lets out a disbelieving laugh, and then he's running up, hugging you tight.

Your conversation is long and intense, and is almost mostly made up of gratitude.

The other Avengers seem very happy to see the whole interaction, especially Steve.

Tony isolates himself in his room as soon as you arrive, and Thor looks upset. He and Bruce discuss something, and then they go to talk to Tony.

You don't pay attention because you are listening to Bucky tell you about getting all his memories back, and living with the Avengers since you helped him. He was now free from Hydra's control, and was pardoned by the state on condition that he was no longer the Winter Soldier.

Nat also added in his narrative the information that he and Steve were "making fondue" and the joke made him laugh with red cheeks but you didn't understand what that meant.

You are very happy to see him, but you can't help but think that he was not the one you wanted to find when you were free.

When he introduces you to the rest of the compound, and to your room, you hug him in appreciation, and you both exchange a knowing look, finally acknowledging that you are safe.

//-//

Your first night in the compound is a strange one.

After meeting the whole team, who were polite despite having fought you a few hours ago, you received a full meal and then locked yourself in your room.

But you were not used to having such a soft bed, not even before Hydra, so sleeping seemed kind of impossible.

Figuring that the Avengers wouldn't mind you taking a late night stroll, you left your room.

"Are you lost, girl?" A female voice suddenly sounded making you jump in fright. It was Natasha Romanoff, or as she introduced herself earlier, Black Widow.

"S-sorry, ma'am." You retorted clumsily, and the woman raised her eyebrows at you. "I can't sleep."

"First, I'm not old, so don't call me ma'am." She commented wryly, and you tried to smile. "Second, I know the feeling. If you want, I can distract you."

Your last social conversation with a woman happened a long time ago, and then you find yourself asking:

"Are you inviting me to have sex?"

Nat lets out a surprised laugh, crossing her arms.

"Where did that come from?" she asks, and you scratch your neck lightly.

"Sorry, I learned how to talk to women from television shows that Hydra soldiers watched in the labs. Bad references. What did you mean by distracting me?"

Nat laughed, impressed by your words.

"I meant like have some tea and tell a story." She clarifies, not sounding the least bit upset. You put your hands in the pockets of the pajamas you've been given.

"R-right. That sounds more appropriate." You mumble with flushed cheeks, eliciting another laugh from the woman. As you begin walking side by side, she comments.

"You know, I think I'm going to have a lot of fun with you around here. You are just as awkward as Steve and Bucky."

You end up hearing a story about agents in Budapest, but it seems Nat doesn't tell the whole story. It's nice, though, you missed talking to someone.

"That thing you did earlier with Tony, that was really cool." Nat remarks after a pause in silence.

You take a sip of your tea after shrugging, but she seems inquisitive.

"How did you know it was Maximoff who messed with his head?"

You almost choke at the sudden mention of the name and Nat's watchful gaze makes it impossible to disguise. You sigh.

"I... They are my friends." You confess looking down at the cup, "Or they used to be."

Raising your gaze to Nat again, she only seems curious to know, and you shrug slightly, deciding to trust her.

"We grew up together in Sokovia." You count twirling your fingers on the handle of your cup, "They were the only family I had in the orphanage. And well, it was for them that I broke into a Hydra building."

Nat listens to your story intently, and you swallow dryly before continuing.

"When they captured me, the serum, it... well, it didn't exactly leave me conscientious." You try to explain. "It was like pushing all my memories away, my mind would become completely empty."

“"Is that what they did to Bucky?" Nat questions and you shake your head.

"No, they used electric shock on Bucky." You return with a grimace. "With me, they couldn't hurt me permanently, so they needed something that would make me obey without me being able to heal. It was like being drunk, I guess, only much worse."

“I’m sorry.”

"It 's fine.” You say with a sad smile. “I was dumb enough to go there, i knew the risks.”

“Don’t say that.” Nat asks with a serious voice. “It’s was not your fault they torture kids.”

"And whose fault is it, then?" You retorted, upset, with yourself more than with Nat or anyone else. "My friends for being stubborn idiots? Of Stark for throwing a bomb in my building? I'm tired of looking for reasons to justify what happened to me. Nothing is enough, and I just want to see my friends."

Nat sighs lightly, and raises a hand on the table to reach for yours. You want to hold back the tears, but they are already falling before you can do so.

"I promise we will find your family." She assures you tenderly, and you feel your heart soar at the possibility.

You nod in understanding, taking a deep breath to stop crying.

Nat squeezes your hand, and it takes a moment for you to speak again.

"Wanda." You begin, and almost sob. It has been a long time since you have spoken that name. "She... She must have gotten her powers the same way I did." You say trying to remember everything you witness in Hydra at that moment. "I remember the soldiers talking about the twins being the only ones to survive the stone besides me."

"From Shield records, we know she can manipulate energy and Pietro can run really fast." Nat informs as she releases your hand. She sits thoughtfully for a moment."Maybe because you all got the magic through the same source, you can heal what she can do to Tony's mind. But that's not really my area, maybe you should talk to Thor as well."

You sigh lightly, wiping away the remainder of the tears falling on your face.

"I will." You say. "But I want to find Wan-the twins first." You correct yourself quickly, hoping Nat doesn't notice your flushed cheeks. She does, but says nothing.

"Try to get some rest." She asks as she picks up the teacups. "We have a party coming up, and then Thor is supposed to return to Asgard. I imagine you will want to have a little chat with Bucky before you return to Sokovia."

"I would go back to Sokovia right now if you ask me." You mutter making Nat chuckle lightly. "But I don't want to disturb any of you. I've waited for a long time, I can wait a little longer."

When Nat turns around after putting the glasses in the sink, she has a soft expression.

"You are not a nuisance here, kid." She assures with a smile. "We've just been caught a little by surprise with a new person, but it will be a pleasure to help you find the twins." She says and then has a mischievous expression. "I shouldn't tell you yet, but Steve is pretty excited about the whole thing. He wants you and the twins to join the team eventually."

"Really?" You ask in surprise and Nat just mumbles in agreement, still smiling.

She turns around on the countertop and before she leaves, she turns to you.

"If you ask my opinion, you seem to care a lot about both of them." She says. "I think that no matter how much time has passed, or if they are fighting on opposite sides, she will be happy to see you."

You swallow dryly, looking away.

Nat smiles one last time before leaving and you twiddle your fingers nervously, sitting for a while at the table before returning to your room.

With much to think about, you are surprised that you fall asleep almost instantly as you lie down.

//-//

The Hydra serum is still in your system.

You realize it in a rather embarrassing way actually.

After waking up on the couch, you went to the kitchen.

Bucky tells you that all the team is having a meeting and they will join you two soon, so you just lay against the wall while he reads the newspaper out loud for you.

The Avengers stay in the meeting room for a long time, and don't seem very pleased when they leave, but Tony seems intrigued.

You are surprised that he comes to talk to you as soon as he sees you.

"I didn't thank you for yesterday, kid." He says with a smile. "Whatever you did took away that bad feeling. Now I can work without having to hide that I'm trying to help."

You didn't quite know what to respond, but it didn't matter because Tony was patting you on the shoulder before smiling contentedly at the rest of the team.

"While I figure out a way to decipher the stone, which won't be hard since I'm incredibly smart." He begins his speech, causing the group to let out debauched laughter. "You guys can get busy with whatever old people do for fun. Except you Thunderlord, I'm going to need your help in the lab."

"Wow, Tony Stark asking for help." Thor teases and you watch the interaction with a smile on your lips, moving to join the table. "What a little magic doesn't do to your head, heh?"

"Don't tease me, Thundercat. I'll throw you out of this building, and you won't get any breakfast." He says with false seriousness and you laugh lightly as you pour yourself a cup of coffee. "Hey, kid, give me some too?"

"Ja, Master." You respond mechanically, perhaps even a little sleepily. The Avengers look at you with curiosity and confusion as they see you mechanically pour the coffee, and hand it to Tony, who looks shocked.

"He is not your master, kid." It is Natasha who breaks the silence, and you blink in confusion looking around for a moment.

"R-right." You say. "Sorry about that, Tony. Old habits I guess."

Tony thanks you for the drink, and you think the subject is going to die, but then Natasha keeps looking at you.

"Hey, Y/N, come over here." She asks and you move immediately. Shit. Natasha raises her eyebrow. "Take two steps to the left." Your body obeys. “Now to the right.” She asks and you obey again. This is terrible. The widow looks at you impressed.

"That looks bad." Tony quickly mocks before waving for Thor to accompany him to the lab, justifying that they should get to work soon.

Nat continues to look at you incredulously, but then Steve gets up from the table as well and snaps his fingers in front of your eyes, making you jump in fright slightly. He assumes a worried expression afterwards.

"You are obeying our orders as if we were your masters." He says. "Let's go see Bruce in the lab, he'll want to run some tests."

When you reach the lab, and Steve explains to Bruce what happened at breakfast, you are not surprised that he puts needles in your arm. You hope the news will be good when he finishes assessing your blood.

//-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-//

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[mickgaydolenz]

How do you think the Doppel-Gang would deal with grief?

oooof okay heavy question but here goes

princess gwen -> i think she'd double down and make her tough front even more tough. like complete steel wall, nothing gets in or out. she'd probably also make a lot of derisive comments about whomever or whatever she was grieving about, trying to verbally downplay their importance so that she could almost convince herself it doesn't matter. it'd be so obvious she was going through something, but also impossible to talk to her about it because she'd immediately shut down any attempt. i think privately she'd feel very numb, and probably vulnerable in a way that frightens her.

babyface -> similar to gwen i think he'd also go full steel wall. although, unlike gwen i think babyface is way more jaded to death and loss since it's been part of his life as long as he can remember. he's had to learn not to care, and as a result holds most people at arms length anyways. if he does care about something it's definitely hard for him, but that pain becomes self directed and he berates himself for ever having cared in the first place. overall it'd be hard to tell because he'd function normally regardless, although he'd probably become extra productive just so he doesn't have time to dwell on anything.

alexei -> i think he alwasy takes loss hard, despite dealing with so much in his situation, because he feels things very deeply. it would be hard to tell when he's grieving, aside from the people closest to him, but the most obvious tell is he loses his passion for the things he loves most (like dancing). he would also probably seek out comfort from his loved ones, and stick especially close to them while he works through his feelings internally. maybe even as he starts to feel better he'd express his emotions through dance, choreograph some kind of movement that allows him to purge the negative feelings lingering inside him.

ludlow -> precious crybaby ludlow would be a mess. he is openly grieving, he is openly sobbing, he is having a full on breakdown and he doesn't care a whit who is around to witness it. this boy wears his heart on his sleeve, and when he's upset everyone knows it. similar to alexei, ludlow would seek out comfort from loved ones but unlike alexei he would need to talk about what he's feeling and what he's going through. sharing in his grief would help him A LOT, and having people to support him through that is paramount to his recovery. ludlow would also be a huge reminiscer, recalling fond memories is super important to his grieving process.