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ourflagmeansgayrights · 1 year

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ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

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2n2n · 2 months

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hi!! i have two questions, i apologize in advance that theyre about mitsuba and kou, but theyre also about the yugi twins, so i hope u can forgive me...

first!! i see a lot of ppl complaing/being sad that hanako and kou dont really have any moments interacting together anymore, posting screenshots, mourning their lost early series friendship ... and i dont really get it? to me, hanako never really liked kou, he was more "playing pretend" to appease nene, he doesnt seem to value him as a friend... theres the "kid"(<deragatory) he does, to emphasize that he is the Older, Experienced Guy in this relationship and kou doesnt have anything of value to add... but then again, ive never really sat down to reread everything in one go, so i might be missing something... do you have anything to say on hanako and kous relationship and how/why it developed?

second question!! i noticed that mitsuba and kou both have a favorite twin who they are friends with and a twin who they think is an evil, violent, perverted psychopath, and those twins are swapped between them lol

so i wanted to ask, do you have any thoughts/opinions on mitsubas and kous outsider perspective on the yugi twins? who has what aspects of them right/wrong? could a fight over who the better yugi twin is cause a rift large enough to stop their budding romance?(<hyperbole)

im sorry if this got really long, and these are less concrete questions and more me pondering things and then presenting my half-baked thoughts to you for examination, but i always really enjoy your interpretations of anything tbhk so i thought id do it anyways >.<

Ohhh its fine haha, there are no characters I truly hate (I JUST JOKE...) & I like talking about everything in the manga, as everything has some sort of place in the themes or story! And I do care about all relationships from character to character, even if I might find that character annoying on a personal level HAHA. I like the entire 'voice' of JSHK!!! It's all a part of the beautiful web c:

I would say, Yes, I agree 100%! I've talked about it before myself. I don't see Hanako and Kou as best friends, and I'm not sure what incredible moments of pure friendship people are remembering (probably mostly... ch9?). Hanako both creates distance by using 'kid' (indeed making Kou always out to be more ignorant or childish than him…) and even Kou creates a distance by using only 'Hanako' (no honorifics-- Kou is actually generally quite deferential and polite to people he respects like Nene-chan or Akane.... he is a 'good boy'! When he meets Hanako, of course he thinks he is a monster, so he doesn't use honorifics… but he also doesn't correct this, later. While dropping honorifics can also be a sign of intimacy, that only counts if the other person has given you some kind of permission, or after knowing someone a long time … Hanako never uses honorifics for others himself, because he sees himself as above everyone, and wants to impress distance … and I'm sure because he is 'nanaban-sama'. He only really uses honorifics when menacing Nene or Akane about "Aoi-chan".)

I think in reality, most Hanako and Kou interactions point to something contentious between them waiting to snap, as I've discussed before.

In fact, we now know explicitly that Hanako loves his little brother & sought to save & protect him, so for sure a wedge was driven between Kou and Hanako the moment Kou declared revenge on Tsukasa. Hanako's blank stare, [... ...I see.] should make sense when looked back on! Quietly logging that Kou might become a problem for him, later.

At the very least, you have to imagine he is more loyal to his yorishiro than he is to this ugly kid. If push came to shove.

We see plenty of Hanako resenting Kou.

On top of that … he's competing with Kou for Nene-chan, not only her time & attention but even the right to influence her life or save her. Both in Picture Perfect & Severance, Hanako expresses this VERY directly.

Despite initially being OK with Kou making efforts to save Nene-chan, he completely walks that back in Picture Perfect; his sense of possessiveness and jealousy cannot in fact handle it at all. Sometimes people get attached to a particular older manga scene, and see it as inconsistency or random when that aspect has changed, but honestly, I think it's always a realistic character beat. Hanako once welcomed Kou to try to save Nene-chan, back in volume 6,

but .... as he got closer to Nene-chan, he instead pursues Picture Perfect & then the Severance as his own aggressive, forceful solutions, which no longer factor in Kou as anything but an impotent annoyance. Hanako once, incorrectly, 'thought he wouldn't care', but he in fact does! This is a form of character development I think a lot of people refuse to acknowledge, in Hanako (... maybe people think 'character development' can only mean positive traits or improving, and not something like becoming more aggressive or possessive? <- but being more attached & true to himself IS'positive' development for Hanako. Becoming yandere isn't a bad thing in AidaIro-sensei world </3). Over 20 volumes in, there's no need to cling to perceptions of their dynamic which they have evolved away from.

So.... you have Kou shounen protag shouting "I'll save everyone!" while Hanako is being a yandere like "nobody can ever touch Yashiro's lifespan but ME". This isn't a recipe for best friends.

I remember when ^ this ^ chapter came out, some people were upset/shocked that Kou could still talk easily about destroying Hanako, but I have no idea why. Hanako has only repeatedly proven himself unstable and untrustworthy since those early-manga moments (if a friendship stems from ignorance, what is it worth?). It is only Kou's dedication to Nene-chan that makes him help Hanako in the Far Shore ... Nene-chan is pure of heart so, perhaps so long as she doesn't see him as a lost cause, or as long as Hanako doesn't hurt her, he will try to believe her, and stand by her.

The thing Kou does have going for him, is his faith in Nene-chan to bring out the best in Hanako, to reach his heart. I think ultimately Kou himself isn't sure about the truth lying within Hanako, & he knows it won't be him that draws it out. To him, it could end up that he's completely crazy & dangerous & has to be shot like a rabid dog lol, or that there's something good in there. He's fence-sitting between Teru & Nene's extreme positions.

My favorite very earnest, honest Kou moment among them, is this... when he is approaching Nene-chan, after the meeting with Teru & Akane, during the Severance.

Kou checks in with Nene-chan because he's not sure where SHE'S at with all of this.

The actions he takes in the Far Shore are less "to save Hanako, as his friend" but "to save Hanako, for Nene-chan".

meanwhile, for your second inquiry:

Didn't a fight over Tsukasa already interrupt their relationship? Mitsuba relies on Tsukasa constantly,repeatedly,and this very fact made Kou cry, feeling jealous & inadequate, LOL. Kou's whole complex is that he wants to be trusted & relied on, and Mitsuba instead running to Tsukasa every time he is in trouble, racks up Kou's resentment towards Tsukasa. Isn't it so funny…MULTIPLE ARCS OF THIS!!!!

I would say neither Kou nor Mitsuba really trust the Yugi twins, or understand them, any of them, despite each being allied towards one in some flimsy sense. I think Mitsuba is correct that Hanako is a psycho pervert... uhhhh all of their interactions are SO terrible LOL

and uh....

(^I love this moment SO much ^ completely unnecessary out of pocket Hanako moment!!!!! No reason for you to look so crazy!!! DID YOU HAVE TO CAST SHADE??? lame weak Mitsuba .... haha... I love Hanako ahhh </3 Mitsuba is so pathetic & stupid to him.... such disrespect in PP!)

^ KouMitsu fans should love this protective Mitsuba moment, him staring at Hanako like this while clinging to Kou...

In mmmany ways I guess I don't think Kou or Mitsu are loyal to the Yugi beside them, wouldn't necessarily come to their defense any more than Mitsuba does in the Aquarium chapters (which only really argue a necessary dependency; though I think it's really interesting that in PP, Mitsuba defends his CHOICE to ally with Tsukasa, not WANTING to be seen as only Tsukasa's victim or helpless.)

Kou holds Mitsuba's loyalty to Tsukasa against him, but for some reason as we've seen thus far, Mitsuba does not hold Kou's loyalty to Hanako (or Teru, who tries to kill him) against him. I'd say Mitsuba is actually more humble/gracious & a little more self-aware than Kou-- and also devalues himself, wouldn't ask Kou to give up anything for him, because he is worthless (the entire point of his willing attempt at suicide in the Aquarium chapters). Kou screams & throws lightning around when he feels anything Bad, so more disquiet is expressed at Mitsuba. Kou feels more demanding & holds more uhm.... ambitions for what he 'wants' their relationship to be (one where he is depended on, is Mitsuba's hero). So there is probably more likely to be more conflicts surrounding Tsukasa....

I wonder if Hanako will ever do something so directly terrible that it would cause Kou to loosen his allyship to Nene-chan, and increase his allyship to Mitsuba. I would like that tbh, and it would bolster their dynamic to me, & I could respect Kou's stance more. As it is, it's hard to say much about his loyalty to Mitsuba, which is kinda only simultaneous to his loyalty to Nene-chan .... I would like Kou's fence-sitting about the Hanako situation to finally really hurt Mitsuba maybe, some day. If I had to have an opinion on it.

I wonder what Nene-chan coming to like/defend Tsukasa would do to Kou's stance against Tsukasa? What if everyone but Kou liked the little bugger in some way.... haha. That would be idealistic for me.

I would also find it interesting if Mitsuba actually had to do something meaningful to defend or protect Tsukasa. Curious if the vague ghost memories in Mitsuba's head in the recent chapters will culminate in any kind of reaching out to Tsutsu. Ultimately, is Tsukasa someone who tormented Mitsuba, or someone who saved & comforted him repeatedly? His active mind rejects the concept, but maybe his subconscious would feel otherwise. I dunno. A lot is ambiguous.

A bit of a tangent I guess there... so theorhetical. Well, nobody really likes the Yugi except for each other & Nene-chan.

#avvy's JSHK

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woneuntonzz · 6 months

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torn and folded .ᐟ (2/2)

📞 ; “respectfully, you're disgusting.” | 💿 part 1...

𖹭 : bully!seunghan x bl reader, amab!reader

💭 you loved your free time in manga reading websites, not him though, he thinks you need your senses sorted out for you, and so he would...

⤷ contains: mlm pairing (this is pure fiction and is in no way

made to assume the idol's sexuality!!), angst, bullying,

homophobia towards mc (i myself have struggled with), fluff,

humor (kys/kms jokes), mention of other idol names for world

building

⤷ wc: 11.2k!! (not proofread :3)

-ˋˏ under the cut .ᐟ ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

saxyguy1002

hey bunz

can i ask u a question

what do u do when u like someone?

bunz

why’d u even ask if you can ask me when you’re gonna ask either way

saxyguy1002

sorry

bunz

well

idk either

saxyguy1002

do u like someone rn?

You sighed, deleting what you have previously typed: you.

bunz

yes

saxyguy1002

who is it? 👀

bunz

u don’t even know him

idk why ur even asking

saxyguy1002

ur right

so what

ur just out being a loser all day and not do anything about it?

You could only laugh silently at your screen.

bunz

he hates me

saxyguy1002

ouch

sucks for u ig

bunz

kys lol

saxyguy1002

ur so sweet

dw u have me

fuck that guy

You rolled your eyes, you couldn’t believe you were smiling over everything despite the somber truth behind it all.

bunz

i thought ur not gay

saxyguy1002

that’s a conversation for another day

come on

tell me to kms

bunz

um, okay????

kys

saxyguy1002

something’s missing

bunz

AAAAAA HELLL

kys :3 (hope u dont wake up tomorrow)

saxyguy1002

i will :> (i have to wake up so i can actually kms)

You don’t think twice before shutting down your computer the second you’ve read his reply. Looking at the time, you had once again spent two hours of your night chatting. It’s crazy how far you’ve gone when it comes to talking, it would always be just about the games you’ve played, sometimes complaining to each other about school. It was him who’d start talking you into revealing more about yourself, and he’d do the same without even asking. That’s how you found out that he was definitely Seunghan.

At first, his messages made sense for the guy you saw him to be in school, then he’d change, it’s very gradual but it’s there for your eyes. You’ve played the waiting game before, longer than anyone, you just hope waiting for him would amount to something.

You’d spend your next days with Matthew tailing behind you, and like what you agreed upon, you two would read that manga you were currently reading, next to each other on your phone. Somehow he got you to feel comfortable enough to stay in the library with him instead of that desolate room. Of course, he’d ask you why you liked it there, and you’d tell him everything. Despite your attempts of flailing his attention towards the manga on your phone, he’d continue to ask you if you were fine with not being in your safe space.

“I’m really okay.” he kept his eyes on you, as if urging you to keep talking. “For now at least.”

“You know, actually followed you there because I thought you were up to something bad —but I didn’t know it was you either since all I could see was your backside.” it was the first time he’d hear you laugh audibly, and he’d smile.

If you were being honest, you felt like you still had to keep your guard up. He’s told you himself that he’s heard about you, probably seen you at your most piteous state. It just boggles your mind that him approaching you was purely arbitrary, and like others, he didn’t care much about you being bullied before. But you gave him the benefit of the doubt, he had a life of his own and he was most probably concentrated with what he had going on in it, after all, you were mere strangers to each other.

You quickly learned that you were only spared when you’re with him, but back in your class, you still suffered the same hell.

“Seunghan, why aren’t you responding at the group chat?”

Or maybe not quite the same.

You vowed to yourself to never let your eyes wander around without care, but you felt so anxious, you could feel it at the back of your head. With some shameful guessing, you thought you might know whose eyes it is that pricked you. You braced yourself once you stood up from your seat, hearing the bell ring for the last time that day, it was tradition for them to push you around before going home.

And they did just that. You’d be on the floor hurrying to gather your belongings that were scattered on the floor, by chance —and because of your cluttered mind— you looked up to the door, and Seunghan would pass by. You caught his eyes looking right into yours for a very brief moment before he completely vanished from your sight.

There was something about him that day, he didn’t walk up to you, he didn’t steal your phone and threw it around, he was just there. It was like back in middle school, you knew he could see you, but he chose to not give any of his attention.

saxyguy1002

aaa sorry my play was ass

i can’t believe i’m bot frag

bunz

i was ass too

saxyguy1002

we’ll get it next time

ig it’s not a very great idea to play with a lot of things on ur mind

bunz

same

what is it for you anyways?

saxyguy1002

i’m gonna be 18 soon

technically i’d be an adult by then

right?

bunz

yeah?

why ask?

r u planning to commit felonies rn be fr

saxyguy1002

i just wanted to be

away

from my parents

bunz

what is it about this time?

saxyguy1002

i’m just tired of it all

they’re too controlling

and what for? lmaoooooooo

i feel like i’m gonna burst

i can’t even pursue my dreams because of them

talking abt “you’ll end up–”

idc where i end up as long as it’s not with them

bunz

ykw

if ur confident enough that u can survive out there on your own

do it

this is your one chance with life, do what you can to live it to the fullest

saxyguy1002

could’ve just said "YOLO and embrace your FOMO"

bunz

kill

your

self

saxyguy1002

i was totally just jk

just just kidding

enough abt me

you?

bunz

it’s the same thing pretty much

my dad would kill me if he found out

saxyguy1002

that ur gay?

nahh u have to escape

i’ll help

bunz

that’s crazy tho

u dont even know where i’m at

saxyguy1002

oh but what if i do

bunz

then u can be a private investigator

or a psycho stalker

my saesang <33

saxyguy1002

bunz stan 😋

bunz

kys :3 (idk kinda hope u sleep w/o that shit in mind)

saxyguy1002

i will :> (thanks ik u want me fr)

The days that followed, you could see his messages reflecting through the way he behaved at school. He was no longer one you had to be careful around, still, he seemed to be just as indifferent towards you. There’d be moments where you’d catch his eyes, but in them was something you haven’t seen before —or more likely, in a while. You’d cross paths outside the classroom often, and seldom times he was in the library too, and you would try your best to see what he was doing without completely turning your head towards him. He just studied, by himself.

It wasn’t a rare, once in a lifetime type of event, he was still quite the grade-conscious student because of his parents —he’s told you before— it’s just that he was always by himself. It should be for the best, getting away from those people, maybe he’d get his old self back, maybe you’d have him back in your life. The memories you shared then weighed more than anything else in your life, and even after everything he’s said and done to you, you would continue to carry it, still missing him behind the malignant persona he had created.

In the meantime, you would have your usual routine with Matthew, and it immediately crossed your mind —if he had ever grown tired of these little hangouts, so you end up paying every little action, every little sound your consciousness, seeing if he was any different from the previous day. He’d never change, there was nothing that you could see, so you granted him your trust, even if it was hard giving it away again after a long while.

“The guy is crazy, don’t you think? If he really loved the main character, why would he make him suffer through it?” —he was talking about the manga you two were reading.

“I mean, it’s for the storyline.” you laughed at his sour face. “You read it anyway.”

It felt wonderful to let yourself breathe in every moment, not having to hold it to block off the torturous stench of your classmates’ perfumes. You hoped that this would last, at least until you had to graduate. He made school a bit more bearable for you.

However, with his absence, you’d shift back to your usual self, leery towards everything. You’d go back to that room, but it would not be the same as when you left it.

You were that cautious boy all over again, taking light steps to the place that in your world, you owned, carrying most of what you could, even the items you knew you wouldn’t need. Your eyes scanned left to right, keeping your vision’s periphery clear for any threats, or anyone who could be following you.

When you got there, you stood outside of the room for a while. It wasn’t possible to peek without opening the door since the glass was blocked off by black tape —and it was probably there to keep students out. You convinced yourself that you had no reason to be nervous, it was your room, your sanctuary. You took a hold of the doorknob, very carefully turning it so that it makes very little sound. Every second that passed, you’d open it a little wider, and wider, until you could take a full view of the room.

“Sorry.” you had turned your heel, ready to take speedy steps away from your comfort, but he who seconds ago was lax and seated, would rush towards you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you inside the room.

He’d close the door, but you could only hear the sound it made, you couldn’t take your eyes off him, especially when he was that close. His eyes slowly made their way to yours, you could feel your heart racing, recalling the last time you were in his proximity. He felt you subtly trying to move yourself out of his grasp, so he’d release you from it, keeping his eyes on you. When he let go of your hand, you’d look around, feeling anxious about everything. You were thinking about what he was going to do next and what he was going to say.

You’d withdraw yourself from where you stood, backing away because of his sudden movements —he had raised his hand with his palm facing the ceiling, holding it up in front of you as if he was asking for you to give him something. You were unsure of what he wanted, and he took notice of that, his other hand reaching for his nape.

“I didn’t know you’d be back in here.” his voice was impossibly soft, you were sure you looked like you had seen a ghost. “This was so sudden, I know.”

It was like your body had a mind of its own, and you would shake your head without being fully aware, pulling on your own fingers as your eyes went all over his face. You could feel the heat creeping up your face, so you’d look away to the side.

“I’m sorry.” he’d lower his hand at a painfully slow pace, still keeping his gaze at you, and soon his eyes were glossed, “For everything.”

That day wouldn’t be as bad as it’d usually be, even without Matthew’s presence. That day, old feelings would resurface, with much greater magnitude. That day, you held his hand again, and it was like the first time all over again, where you gave it your all to not give off how jumpy your heart got. The two of you were just in that room, till the last bell sounded. You were sitting on the floor against the wall near the door, and your hands would remain entwined. You were so close to each other, like how you used to be, like those times under that big tree at that old park. His hands would move towards your head again, but this time it wouldn’t be to get rid of a leaf that landed on your hair, he’d lead your head on his shoulder, and his grip on your hand would be a little tighter, but somehow still gentle. You waited for him to talk, but he didn’t utter another word. All you could hear was his breathing, that at some point would falter when you moved after hearing the bell.

“We should go back.” your voice was as quiet as the wind, yet he felt like he’d melt from it.

“We could.” he’d let his tongue swipe against his top lip before he spoke again, “But we don’t have to.”

So you didn’t. You were there for hours, but somehow it still felt like very little time. You still had to ask him why he was being like that. What changed?

saxyguy1002

this is a sign

pursue your love

bunz

r u being fr

what’s up with you?

saxyguy1002

hahahahahahahahaha

don’t you ever just go

☺️

👉👈

bunz

huh 😭😭😭😭😭

saxyguy1002

yea so

i’m basically gonna risk it all now

maybe not all

not all at once

🤓

bunz

what is bro yapping about 💥💥

saxyguy1002

how’d u find out that you’re gay?

bunz

excuse me?

saxyguy1002

serious question btw ☝️

bunz

☝️🤓 well actually

ok wait

serious face on

saxyguy1002

hello?

gay ghosted

bunz

GASPED WHAT

well

i’ve known this boy for so long since we were kids typa beat and idk i never really liked any girls, i mean sure they're pretty and cute and all but i never pictured myself with any of them

but i did with this boy

saxyguy1002

u have to tell me everything

bunz

kys :3 (go to sleep freak)

saxyguy1002

no :< (wait plz)

bunz

bro

saxyguy1002

that’s crazy

bunz

what

saxyguy1002

you know who i am don’t u

i know u

bunz

???

ur actually tweaking

ok fine u win

ur scaring me

go kys fr

saxyguy1002

y/n

The hand that held yours and led you back to his haven.

bunz

who

???

bro who’s that 😭

saxyguy1002

don’t be like that now :((

it took me this long to realize

stupid

i’m stupid

i’ve told u a lot of things

even mentioned chaeyoung

that name is so awful to look at

i’m sorry

bunz

seunghan

i’m gonna go

saxyguy1002

you’ll come back, right?

You took a sharp inhale, deleting every single reply you had thought of and typed out. You left him on read, not really knowing what to do from then on, yet, you were so eager to find out how this night would affect tomorrow.

Slipping into the soft sheets, your eyes would swell with tears looking back at how he turned against you then. Your eyes would end up swollen, you felt so drained that you dreamt of nothing but the dark.

Your thoughts went running fast, he owed you an explanation, and you believe he could give it to you soon enough after everything that unfolded from yesterday.

“You seem to have a lot in mind.” you jumped at Matthew’s query, your consciousness being drawn out of your clouded head.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been re-reading that panel for ten minutes now.”

You sighed, feeling betrayed by your cognition. You ran your fingers through your hair, thinking about how you’ve been stealing glances from each other all day, and how he walked past you a little slower, mouthing “Let’s meet, room.” He had no room to be careless, he knew his sister still had her eyes on him.

“I’ll be busy later, you can keep reading, you really don’t have to wait for me.” you utter when your mind flies to the image of your hand in his.

“Got it.” you just hoped Matthew wouldn’t spot you and follow you into that room again.

You went there after your first afternoon class, after you’ve seen him leave first —not before calling you to follow with his eyes though. The door was only slightly open when you got there, and you’d poke your head in first, before finally letting yourself in.

“So you’re bunz.” he said once you were seated next to him. You’d only nod at him, and once again your eyes were stuck to each other. “When did you figure out it was me you’re talking to?”

“It took a while too. I had to piece together the things you were telling me. Then, like you said, you mentioned your sister.” he had to bite his lip to hold himself back from beaming, he felt as if your voice was enough to take him out of this earth.

“And I had to tell you her name too huh.” he softly laughs at himself, “I got too comfortable I guess, no wonder why.”

His eyes would trail down, tracing every detail of your face, and you’d follow his eyes, wondering what lies behind the darkness of those orbs. It had driven you to finally ask him what you’ve been longing to know, “What made you change back then?”

You swore you heard his breath hitch, and his eyes would slowly start to water. “Chaeyoung. She was going to tell on me.”

His parents, now you could understand a bit more clearly. What was it that his sister had against him that she’s got him backed up in a corner? And why did he have to add to your suffering?

“She forced me into… everything.” he’d open his hand as a means to ask for yours, and you’d give it to him, “If my parents knew, they’d move me away.”

You stared at your clasped hands, watching his thumb lightly graze over your hand, “Knew what?”

He felt a lump in his throat forming after you’ve sounded your question, and with a light squeeze to his hand, he answered, “That my eyes are only for you. You know I like you, right?”

It was nothing but a hunch then, but you felt crazy because for others it might fall in line with the normality of some friendships. It all meant something after all.

“I always have, but it did take a while for me to grasp on it.” now he had a grasp on you. “I know what I did to you was irredeemable, but, now that we’re older, would you give me a chance?”

You looked at each other like nothing else in the world mattered, you thought everything else around you was fading into dust when you caught a glimpse of your own reflection in his eyes.

“You don’t have to answer now.”

“Do I have to answer? you got me, Seunghan.”

Before he could take another breath of air, the door would open, and there he saw your friend whose face would display shock. You’d turn around, only to be met with Matthew who’d soon repeatedly utter his apology before pacing away.

“Shit. I should talk to him.” you stood up, breaking the contact of your locked hands.

“I’ll go with you.” you stared at Seunghan for a while, taking his words into serious consideration.

“No. Chaeyoung might see you.”

“I don’t care. Let her see me. I’m more than ready to run away from that house.” —the truth is, he wasn’t much prepared, but he was firm that mentally, he was ready.

“We’re only graduating. It’s too risky. What about the dreams you want to pursue?” your tone sounded of worry, and it made his heart weak, wanting to just run into you so you could take him in your arms.

“It’s you. I want to pursue you, Y/n.” his voice was a bit shaky, and it almost cracked, his eyes lured you to him, and he’d let himself melt in your embrace.

You’d eventually have a talk with Matthew, but it would be the next day. He was surprised to see Seunghan following behind you. He had many questions, and they were all answered, indirectly at most. He didn’t even bother asking most of what he wanted to, he could already see it from the way you looked at each other, or how close your faces were and how your hands brushed against each other, feeling too bashful to just hold one another —though you’d argue that you were only that close because you had to whisper, you were in a library after all.

It’s been two weeks, two weeks of exchanged glances and secret signals to meet each other in that room. It’d be after the first week when he’d let his guard up when you were being messed with by his sister or the others, for the first time, he’d walk in between you and another guy who was causing you trouble, and he’d grab for your hand, dragging you out of the room with him. You expressed your worry, telling him that you were used to it, that he shouldn’t have done that, especially when his sister was there to see everything. He told you he’d handle everything, and he did.

“Are you seriously choosing to be this stupid Hong Seunghan?” That night his sister bursts into his room with this query, evidently enraged, “You really want me to tell mom and dad?”

“Yeah, go ahead, and while you’re at it, I’ll tell them about your boyfriend too and how he fucked you into failing three of your classes.” his stare was daring her to snap back.

“You have no proof of that, do you?”

“I can get proof if I ask him, it’s not like he knows how much of a good girl you are at home, you pretentious fuck.”

“You can’t talk to me like that!”

“Oh shut the fuck up. You’ve been shit to me and Y/n ever since we were children. Grow the fuck up. Y/n didn’t do shit to make your life as miserable as you’ve made his.” Now he was no longer afraid.

It was only a year ago when he had thought about what he truly wanted, and then he’d realize that he was close enough to start fixing himself up, thinking of ways on how he’d go about everything, starting with moving away from his family as soon as he could —if they didn’t threaten him first. He had to secure his chances, cause now he was sure that his future plans involved you.

It was quite a surprise that the torment would stop, though you would still receive glares and you could still hear them muttering under their breath, they would never get too close to you again. You were even more surprised when Seunghan had approached you at your desk, and you could see the stunned expression on the faces that scowled at you.

“You’re not in trouble are you?” you quietly asked.

He places a hand on your shoulder, lowering himself to whisper to you, “I’m not, but I’m still not sure how long this will last. Let’s talk about it in our room later.” when he rose from your ear, he’d give you a light smile, walking out of the classroom.

When you were back in your room, he proceeded to tell you about his plans moving forward, he also told you about the fight he had with his sister. He was quite set on what he wanted to do, wanting to get a scholarship, moving out of his parent’s house, getting a job while still attending college, and in his own words, the most important of all, to be with you along the way.

“But, you know, you can tell me if you have plans that go against mine. It’s okay, I know you have goals of your own.” but if you were being honest, you were under so much pressure and fear for the future that you didn't even know what you wanted to do with your life.

“I want to be with you.” It took him great effort to not close the distance between your faces right then and there.

But of course, it was all easier said than done.

Your relationship would remain the same till you graduated, following the same pattern everyday, keeping things as discreet as possible for the both of you. After graduation, you were talking to each other every other hour of the day, thoughts about the next phase of your life spilling out.

You were nervous to finally receive the results of your entrance exams for all the universities you were able to apply for, out of five, you were able to get into two, both offering scholarships.

You were high up in the clouds, thinking about preparing for college. You actually had a life ahead of you now, and you were glad that you ended up with the same boy you had started your journey with.

You packed your stuff nicely in an old travel bag owned by your mom, who was no longer around, not dead, just decided she had enough of your mentally abusive father. You made sure to clean very diligently, so that your dad wouldn’t grumble about it after you’ve left.

You wanted to leave this life behind you, the redundant pressure you’ve pushed to yourself, just to please your father who had given you more pain than help. So that morning before you left, you made sure you were leaving for good.

“I’m gay.”

You had expected him to throw his cup of coffee at you, but he’d just chuckle, his raspy voice made you flinch. “I know.” he’d laugh even more when he saw the expression on your face, “I’ve looked through your computer. You know, there’s really not much I can do. You’re not hurting anyone for being with another man, so go, live your life.”

It was nothing you could have foreseen, but before you left, you just had to give him one last hug, uttering a soft little thank you.

“He really said that?” Now you sit in a park near campus, under a tree, smaller than the one from your cherished memories, but just as beautiful.

“I was surprised too. I’m not even sure if I heard him correctly.” Seunghan wrapped an arm around your shoulder, and you would do the same, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Your head laid on his shoulder, and his lie on top of it. He’d very gently rub circles on your shoulder with his thumb, and you could feel him sigh, chest going into a labored rise and falling back with ease. “I guess we could start with your idea.”

“The webcomic?” he’d hummed a response to your question. You sat up and faced him, your hand enclosing his own. “Our story would make for a good webcomic, don’t you think?”

“Hmm, you’re not wrong.” his lips would grow into a smile once he’d seen your beaming face.

It wouldn’t take much time before he let his eyes wander down your lips, and you’d take notice of it. You beat him to it, and it was you who would close the proximity, sending heat waves throughout his entire body. When you pulled away, he’d blink a couple of times. He was only about to hold the back of your head to pull you in closer. You laughed at his bewildered face, and he’d become shy.

“We can continue, my dorm room is probably empty, my roommate said he’d be out for a while.” you tell him, and he’d wear a smug grin making you cringe a little.

“Yeah. Let’s do that.” he couldn’t help but take a pause, taking in how ethereal you looked at the moment, or how soft your hair was that he found all excuses in the book just to touch it. “And while we’re at it, I should start making concept art, sketches and all that. I’m gonna need a full body reference.”

Your face would wrinkle at his words, lightly pinching at his cheek. “Respectfully, you’re disgusting.”

His sweet chuckle almost made you forget you were in a public space, in a park. Though there were not many people there at that time, you were quite wary, something that would take time for you to adjust.

So where did your ambitions take you?

After a year of college, you were both successful in selling your webcomics to a well known publisher —you could say you took longer than you should, given that most of your work time consisted of half-hour make-out sessions— and soon it would boom, and most people loved it, some were of course, a little less tolerant.

Other than that, Seunghan had to deal with his parents who’d eventually find out about your relationship, and to that he replied, “What do you mean ‘shame on you for dating a gay man’? I am gay.”

He’d make sure to add it to his bio in your favorite game.

21 / male and gay AND i have a boyfriend @bunzshh

Disgusting, you mean, disgustingly adorable? People could call you disgusting all they want, but it’s the twenty-first century, people should be worrying about climate change and the things that are actually causing harm to the world. Don’t worry though, your story could only end on such a sweet note, and if people hated you, you still had your man (and no other).

boyfriend (legal)

fuck u

my man (and no other)

u already did like 12 hours ago???

boyfriend (legal)

ur sick

kys 🤍 (come over plssss)

my man (and no other)

i will 🖤 (hehehehhehehehehe open the door veronica)

End.

#riize #briize #riize fanfic #riize x reader #riize au #riize seunghan #hong seunghan #riize angst #boy's love #riize fluff

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sovawife · 6 months

Note

tell the class all your favorite parts about sova maybe? like what made you really fall for him and all of that!

ok this also might get long i am sorry. thank u for the ask tho its nice to hvae smth to do. either way uhh lets get started

ok so i might have mentioned this but i had a small crush on him a few years ago? i think since like 2022. back then i shipped with cypher and was super fixated on him but i think sova was always in the back of my brain as a crush, although at the time i only had him as a platonic. also cuz one of my good friends who doesnt anymore used to ship with him so i didnt wanna overstep or anything.

anyways im not even sure how i suddenly decided to latch onto him, i think my fixation on yone at the time was starting to fade and my brain just randomly chose to fixate on him even tho he was still a crush at the back of my brain lol. and look where we are now/lh

as for what i like abt him, i think one of the biggest things i like is how polite he is/kind to others. i think thats like a rlly important trait in someone for me if i were like to date someone else and hes just rlly nice in general and very lovely, hes such a big sweetheart :)

also ok im gonna sound crazy here but my friends keep saying im a circle bcuz he rlly fits one of my types which is like the holy trinity of yone vergil and wyll. who are all like, responsible, serious, yet like kind and deeply caring. and sova definitely fits into that archetype haha even though hes not exactly the same?? most of those guys arent exactly the same but theres a huge overlap of similarity with them.

i do also think he is very pretty even tho he is unfortunately white/lh :') (or at least i smacked this guy with the asian beam. get wasian'd) idk i suck at explaining exactly why i like this guy, again i think a big part of it is how kind he is to others!! its again just smth i rlly value in a partner, he genuinely cares about others/esp people hes close to like his grandma. and is very thoughtful. also i like that hes super down to earth and humble like this guy is incredibly talented yet never brags about it at all hes just very modest. smug people drive me nuts so im glad hes not like that lol. he also is very passionate abt his interests like archery and also he does photography! i like to think he also does things like hiking, birdwatching and maybe some gardening in his spare time. idk its a shame we dont get too too much info about val characters although the lore is always constantly growing. i do think he does like lots of outdoorsy hobbies hes very respectful to and attuned with nature i think.

sorry this is getting so long omg. im trying to think of any last things to throw in... i think another thing i rlly love abt him is how calm he is. it kinda balances me out bcuz i tend to be a really hotheaded person but it takes a LOT for him to get bothered by something, or at least lose his temper. in the lore we've never really seen him lose his temper or anything like that? the closest it's gotten is that one image when they were releasing fade where it was like a flashback to him losing his eye and he looked super animalistic. actually i think that in general for him to get that mad or whatever it would probably have to involve one of his loved ones being in danger. which is nice bcuz it shows that he rlly cares.

anyways this is getting so long so i will cut it short but i love my wife <3

#ask #answered #srry for the insane ramble #thank u for da ask tho!!#i love my wife <3 #ky shut up #my post #ship: walk on memories

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voiceofsword · 1 year

Note

I'm gonna set up a little tent in your inbox sorry it's cosy here :)

I still think about this so much like what does he mean by this. The shipper brain in me just sees it as rinniki real but I doubt they had that intention like????

Also when he and mayoi talk and niki denies seeing rinne as family only to proceed defending him by claiming he's human like everyone else and he's just shown his "total bastard side" to everyone (but niki knows his true side because he trusts him enough. kinda 🏳️‍🌈)

I've just kinda rambled in your inbox but if you wanna add anything (or delete my ask fair lol) feel free ^^

omg why would i delete this u guys know i love any excuse to talk about them

ill put this under a cut bc screenshots, dont wanna clog ppls dashes !!

my shipper brain AGREES and in large part i think its intentional (not romantically? probably. will i see it that way? well 😏) because these two guys find it impossible to be open about how much the other means to them.. and through that weird tsun-ness it becomes obvious that they're both tiptoeing around it, so much so that when they do, it makes it even More apparent to everyone that something is up... but they both think they're very good at hiding it.

i think niki is especially a worse offender of this bc admitting rinne's just as important to him as it is the other way around is an IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE.. like with kohaku there hes like ew rinnes so gross his face makes me sick and not want to eat. hes definitely exaggerating here... what are u overcompensating for. ehem

but niki's love language is literally acts of service, and, well, it's pretty obvious how often he manifests this towards rinne

and in the mayoi conversation you mentioned it's SOOO.. when mayoi mentions that c:b are going to be their coperformers, when niki starts talking about rinne in response, it's almost like.. he's thanking them? bc to him he couldnt care less if they're invited on stage again. but rinne's the first thing he brings up because he knows how much it means to him, and that if anyone deserves a second chance, it's him:

after mayoi says this, niki goes hell no but regardless his next lines all sound really fond:

and i think the underlying sentiment here is that niki thinks rinne deserves the world. that even though hes sometimes an asshole, that beneath it all he's still a Good Person, and niki would give anything to make other people see that. it's not an explicit declaration of love but reading between the lines, hes pouring his heart out to mayoi like, hey i really love this guy. and even tho its not put into words, not properly, anyway, mayoi himself can see it

(especially taking into account that immediately afterwards he asks mayoi for a favor (that would benefit rinne, in the end))

just like him regularly feeding rinne (although sometimes rinne doesn't give him a choice — on several instances where rinne comes up to him like 'im hungry make me food', nikis like 'oh i cant Not feed you. youre being annoying but i cant have you be hungry', bc to him that's how he shows he cares, about rinne or about anyone), insisting that he'll go back home with him, and always, without fail, getting roped into his schemes and ending up enjoying it, bc time he spends with rinne is ultimately time spent with his best friend.

so yeah nikis a little 🏳️‍🌈 ur right

#mimthinks #this one is not super long.. or coherent im kind of just expanding on stuff ive already said..#emetophobia //#for one of nikis lines !!

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my-mt-heart · 1 year

Note

Hi MT,

Im french and i needed to vent about something. I watched the finale when it aired in english. I cried and screamed with joy when he said i love you.

But i rewatched in yesterday, and for the first time, in french. I could not wait to hear "je t aime", also because i love the french voice actor who is quite famous here in the "dubbing" world. But i disgress.

So i watched it in french, with my popcorn, ready to hear "je t aime" . Guess what?

They translated it in... "i care about you, you know" and she answered the same.

I am fucking mad.

What were they afraid of?? That we dont consider it platonic enough?? Im curious to know how it went in other languages, if anyone can help....

I mean if in the original language they were not afraid to use i love you, platonicwise or not, why would they change it in french?? Its bad enough that all the other carylers hates us now because of te spin off 🤣 (joking... hopefully)

That said, Caryl is not the only one who suffered from it.

Rosita's "i'm glad it was you in the end" became "im proud of what you became" which litteraly doesnt mean... the same at all

The guy in the helicopter said to Rick something like "its like HE told you", dont remember the exact words but it definitely was a HE, and it became "I told you". In one case, you hear abt a mysterious character that viewers will probably meet in the spin off, in the other case it means nothing special. Please correct me if im wrong now i have doubts. It was a HE right?? In english

Anyway, i can tell u that it definitely wasnt i love you in french and im pissed beyond mesure.

Im sorry that i cant bring anything positive, i just needed to talk abt it with someone. My friends watch twd but they dont care abt shipping ...🤷‍♀️ lol

Also, now i know that even when i love the french actors that beautifully dubbs my favorite characters's voice, its still better to watch it in the original language... so much is lost in translation, or worse

Some languages translated “I love you” in a romantic context, others didn’t. It’s a really tedious task going through scripts and making notes to avoid miscommunication, and some things unfortunately get overlooked. I don’t think that’s the case here though. The real issue has nothing to do with the dubbing at all, it was the insistence on keeping Caryl’s relationship ambiguous. We can talk about body language and micro expressions all day, but the bottom line is Caryl fans shouldn’t have been expected to connect the dots for themselves after waiting years for the payoff. It was an obvious marketing ploy, a way to put a band-aid on the spinoff fiasco while making it safe enough to reinvent Daryl in the spinoff 🤦‍♀️

The thing is, Caryl fans still cherish that milestone in their relationship. Daryl spoke with conviction. It was a promise, not a goodbye as some have put it, so how the hell are we supposed to buy that he’s feeling uncertain again in the spinoff? How is that “tension” going to make us feel anything other than irritated? Carol is riding Daryl’s bike, crossing a damn ocean, and probably retracing his steps to find him. What’s Daryl doing to get back to her, specifically her, not just “people.” Not just “them.” 🤨 I don’t want to waste my time looking for subtle clues here and there. If the payoff starts with Carol, that’s whose story I want to follow to get there.

Sorry, I had some venting to do myself. I have no clue about the helicopter scene lol

#caryl #caryl spinoff #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #darylneedscarol

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candysharkart · 1 year

Note

I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOUR EVERYBODY RESPAWNS AU VERY BADLY

thank u for your interest :)! sorry this got kinda longwinded i think. i never write stuff down lol…….

okay sooo i basically wanted an excuse to think about jack being alive post-canon, but i figured if u bring back the guy who had it coming its only fair to bring back other characters who should not have beefed it. and so! the best option seemed like the new-U system! i know they're just a game mechanic thats not supposed to be taken literally but if they're not gonna use it i am lol.

(putting all this under a cut)

roland not respawning after jack kills him in bl2 is kinda weird since he defs uses new-Us in bl1, but i could see jack using a jammer or some chump shit to interrupt the process. maya n lilith's deaths happen in ways were i……. get that they wouldnt respawn but their data could be still in the system somewhere. i also think non-vault hunter npc like scooter would have at least fast traveled once (most of the fast travels are also hyperion? i think? they feel like the same tech) so they might also have digistruct data. sometimes the system trips up, or u cant pay the fee ect ect, and u dont respawn, but ur up there! backed up in the damn cloud or some nonsense.

wilhelm, nisha, n aurelia are all perma-killed in canon, but are replayable fights, so TECHNICALLY they kind of are respawning they're just………… stuck. the new-U puts them back together but they cant move on for some reason. some goes for a lot of the other infinitely respawning bosses/enemies.

so the catalyst for this au now that bl3 is out is that post-canon, tannis is training her siren powers by shifting thru hyperion's systems, she decides familiarizing herself with the new-U system might be useful when she uncovers all these backed up and malfunctioning respawns, and realizes that if she just like. refreshes the system, all these people might come back. she consults with the other raiders about her findings, n that she probably COULD pick and choose profiles to revive their friends but not their enemies, but tannis is trying to AVOID playing god these days thank u very much.

ultimately they all want their friends back too much to pass up the opportunity and have tannis go thru with it. everybody respawns!! everybody gets a lot of confused echo-messages!! everybody cries!! the crimson raiders are reunited!!!

(this is the part where i talk abt jack and angel's respawns bc they're. specific.)

jack not respawning at a new-U is kinda weird with the context that he like. owns them? it tracks that he thought he was too good to need them, but hes also very paranoid, so what if he had his set up different? a failsafe in the Very Unlikely Event something happens to him, where instead of the nearest new-U, he's respawned at a station in a saferoom somewhere where he can be in immediate control of the situation again. it also tracks that he was very confident he could keep angel safe, but again. what if the very very worst happens? angel's respawn is set to be something only jack can activate, but he has to do it manually so no one else can get to her first. his ego was too big to see any flaws with this!

he doesnt think about the chance that something happening to angel while she's so deeply ingrained in hyperion's systems might mess stuff up. so when she dies, the saferoom goes dark, and jack's too far gone to notice. he's going to win the day and revive his daughter into the better, safer world he's going to build. this does not happen, he dies and his data has no new-U to go to so it just sits there. until tannis resets the system, which powers his saferoom up and spits him out. a new-U glitch he didnt care enough about to have anyone patch interrupts the reconstruction process and he loses his arm to it. he manages enough first aid to not just die again, and finally respawns angel, hoping she'll help him.

after respawning, once angel is able to get her bearings, she's devastated by the idea that jack won, but quickly realizes he DIDNT and he's very hurt and weak right now and this is her CHANCE. but she cant bring herself to kill him she wants to so badly but she just. cant go through with it. but she sure as shit can pistol whip him, collar him, and march him straight to the crimson raiders. once she finds them.

(there are some other specifics we have about this au, and lots we havent figured out yet but this post is already so long im sorry……..)

#im trying to avoid retconning too much canon and just working around it #but i never finished tales so. thats not on my mind with this au so much lol #i try 2 have fun......#borderlands #everybody respawns #long post

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markets · 10 months

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hi markets how is life going for u bc basically the guy who was my best friend for years well we stopped talkign last spring completely bc long story short he was Very in love with me and i could not get myself to feel the same even though i TRIED girl i genuinely tried sohard but that just ended up with him feelinbg led on and hurt and asked to never speak to me again hahalol well yeah he just texted me out of the blue bc he got a leaked frank ocean song and sent it me. because he knows i love frank ocean and knew i wouldg love it and whAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT DOESNT HE REALIZE THAT NOW THIS SONG WILL BE FOREVER ATTACHED TO THE FEELING OF GUILT AND HEARTBREAK AND ILL NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT A SONG THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE RELEASED AND WILL ONLY EVER EXIST AS AN ATTACHMENT IN OUR MESSAGES????? anyway yeah. the song wasgood

ANON. anon listen to me because i literally had this exaxt same situation with my (now ex) best friend SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL almost two years ago. i also tried and i also accidentally led on and hurt them and they didnt ask me to never speak to them again and actually jsut ignored me all summer instead and likely got all our shared friends (aka most of my friends lol) to do the same so i just didnt bother trying to reconnect once school started again. im also currently on the other end of this kind of as the best friend who took that old best friends place (though we probably wouldve ended up becoming best friends even without that whole mess i hope) broke up with me after a few very good months of dating and a few very bad ones and i asked him not to speak to me for a while but then decided to reconnect with (which judging by the fact that im active on tumblr could be going better).

so yeah now that ive given you my credentials heres what you do you thank him if you havent already and tell him you hope hes doing well and then you put your phone down and go on a walk far far away from it and think about the whole thing. that isnt the best advice because there realyl is no good advice for this situation its one of those things that tears you apart and then points at you and says haha oh YOURE torn apart you say wow what a selfish asshole haha!! but honestly its so clear to me just from this one ask that you care about him so much and im sure he can see that too. if hes texting you he can at least see it a little, and if you would like to do so im sure your friendship is salvagable. the person who put me as the heartbreak emoji in their "people i had feelings for this year" tik tok last december invited me to their house last month and we laughed and joked even though last time i had been there i had been pretending to feel something i could only wish i truly felt. and i dont think theirs an effort more admirable and beautiful than trying to save something like that, than looking the world straight in the eyes and saying "you want me to leave this for dead but i wont because i CARE and that means something." i mean if he wants too of course. which if he sent the text he might thats kind of how i wnet about it when i tried to reconnect too. maybe take this with a grain of salt because im in a highly emotional time in my life but all im going to say is im sorry anon. i know how awful it is to lose a best friend. and im hoping everything goes well for both of you

#angieanswers.txt

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arbustorum · 2 years

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What helps you break from sameface syndrome in art?

i know ive heard the phrase but i honestly dont think ive ever actually took at that seriously or cared about it all. The only time i remember thinking about it was getting the compliment that was like "its like you have the opposite of same face syndrome" and i still didnt really get it. So sorry if this is a long response that doesnt help at all but ur getting my essay because this stuff bothers me.

first time i saw it used in a way i think makes sense was back when i saw the frozen critique thing going around tumblr. They literally have the same face as each other, the main characters, and as their mother, but male characters NEVER have this issue, in the SAME media(show, movie, w/e). My solution to that is just simply...stop designing your women the same. If you need to, design a male char and then sex bend it trying to change as little as possible and see if that helps you notice how ur accidentally limiting yourself for your women. Most of the time the problem isnt "same face", its that we dont give women the same depth of expression and variety of design. whole other essay but yeah...

In that similar vein. Same face feels like a...way to avoid calling it sexism to me in the art. It then is used by all artists to just find a way to shit on art styles without actually providing useful critique. "Same face" is actually quite beloved and marketable.

Simplistic designs could be called "same face" which belittles the fact that designing minimalistic and aesthetically pleasing designs is quite difficult. These designs are distinct, recognizable, and very beloved. They are cute and nice to look at! These are actually so well designed i hesitate to call them same face but i wanna try and show the "two dot eyes and a mouth and dot nose" could be called same face. But with limited elements, each face is actually clearly distinct. Even the twin guys lala and kiki, (altho if u make them both smile and they wouldnt be but u get it)

Another minimalistic design that relies heavily on minute differences in the face(as well as other elements of the design) to distinguish them.

i like these examples because perhaps the average tumblrina might agree that everyone thinks sanrio looks good, and might say they dislike homestucks style, but they use similar design rules.

here is another example of a style some might just consider ugly or lacking skill(im a personal fan and dont agree but hopefully u get what i mean). A distinct part of his style is making every character have distinct eyes. probably for the same reason i find mobpsycho 100 and homestuck styles charming and pleasing, they cannot be accused of sameface(atleast not to me ill come for you LOL). This may be a kind of fundamental reason i dont struggle with it, im a particular fan of this method of design. It just is a part i focus on. it was never a concious choice i made as an artist.

Some artists find different elements pleasing or enjoyable to draw, and same face is actually quite beloved(and marketable) its not the end all be all design rule is my point... examples of beloved styles where its quite easy to switch the faces around and it may become difficult to tell it has occurred.

heres another style people consider ugly but doesn't have same face(again, im a fan, so it really might just be a thing i like in art, also yes the women are more similar but this rule does still apply to his women...just with much less variation :\ see again my original "same face obscures sexist design choices" point)

so yeah TL;DR i dont believe in same face as a fundamental design flaw, you should draw whatever you like and improve things you are personally dissatisfied with.

TL;DR 2 (ACTUALLY ANSWERING THE QUESTION) "i want more variation in faces when i design" treat eyes, noses, lips, forehead height, face shape, chin, eyebrows, eyes, hair coverage, moles, freckles, dimples, cheek bones...(and whatever else you can think of) as all different elements and include more variation of them. experiment.

im not a professional i am self taught and just some lady these are just my observations and opinions.

#maretext #same face syndrome #long post #mares art advice

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arsen1cs4ng0 · 2 years

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shout out to the chip fandom for being legit TRAUMATIZING. not even saying that as a joke or exaggeration!!! i know/know of so many good people who got their mental health totally RUINED by the awful people there. im one of them!!! its SOO much more horrible than a lot of people realize or even want to talk/think about. so many are literally scared to speak of the effect it had on them because theyre scared itll happen all over again + because it was literally just That Fucking Bad. even im not coming off anon for this. fuck that!!!

from my perspective… theres genuinely like no good people left because they all got chased off + traumatized in the process. i honestly think even the writers themselves got chased off by the toxicity. the hiatuses + *the ending in particular* just line up WAY TOO WELL with awful shit happening for that to not be the case… :/

and it sucks too because it was such a good and diverse story! it was really finally getting interesting!!! some of the plot lines before it all just stopped were legit gut wrenching (/pos!!!) + incredible to watch! the way it humanized the characters was so!!!!!! GOOD!!!!! but it’s all gone now because some people are just total fucking toxic freaks and heckled + harassed literally everyone out of the community no matter how hard it tried to keep stable…. its so depressing. it was fun while it lasted but i never want to go back + it will literally never be the same as it was a couple years ago. and at this point i think that’s a good thing

sorry for the random suuuuper long anon. i know youre a smaller account and probably dont want to talk about this kind of thing. its just been on my mind and youre one of the few people ive seen be openly critical of it all. hope u have a nice day + this finds you well at least!! :)

[ this turns into a rant in the end but its gotta be said lol ]

hi anon, thanks for the ask !! i pretty much have no choice to be open about this all because no-one else ( apart from like. 2 people ) will, i would say much more if it wasnt for my awfully limited vocabulary LOL ( and unless you wanna see a 16 year old cursing and throwing every insult in the english language at the people who hurt / manipulated my friends, well um !!! )

it just hurts seeing the fandom get worse and worse, one of my friends was literally almost driven to suicide because of the toxicity and abuse from the modern fandom, my confidence was snatched away after shit that happened in june - everything has just been SHIT !!!!

ive been actively trying to disassociate from the fandom entirely but its been extremely hard ( especially with my hyperfix on who i call ''little guy the 2st'' - the most i can do is wait for the hyperfix to pass at this point ), everytime i check in i know its just gonna be the same now: people who pretend nothing happened and attempt to cover up everything that happened before they ''''apologized'''' ( and i thought they were gonna keep the bad shit they did up for accountability !! what happened to that ????? ), people who will desparately manipulate unsuspecting people just so their wittle friend can look like the ''uwu sweet bean x3 owo angel who was definitely never ever ever transphobic in their life !!'' - you get the fucking picture at this point LOL

everything has fucking demotivated me and i wish i could fucking scream at Those people, but whats the point of doing so if they're just not gonna pull their heads out of their asses and just admit what they did instead of being like ''WAAAAAH YOURE SUCH A MEAN MEAN PERSON I DIDNT DO THAT AT ALL STOP SPREADING LIES, N-NO !!!!! ;_____;'' ?? i dont care if i get attacked by those people anymore because its only gonna prove my point on how fucking toxic they are i feel so bad for unsuspecting people who dont know how bad the fandom really is and what they'll end up diving into like i did, like my ex-friend did too

again, thanks for the ask anon and im so so so sorry you had to witness this all :[

#suicide mention tw #thanks for the ask anon <:] /gen #i was genuinely scared that my criticism of the chip fandom was just coming across as annoying and shit #especially with how often i talked about it #especially on my twitter + my circle #time for silly ol' val to find something else to obsess over and pray what they get into isnt toxic </3 #harmony squeaks #harmony rants #harmony on the net #ask

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shopcat · 2 years

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my little thoughts about rockstar/musician eddie is that, yeah he'd likely not enjoy being famous, i think that before the upside down he would've clung to the idea of his band making it big BC it would take him out of hawkins, like a carrot on a stick almost lol.

but i think after s4 he would be happy with being like an underground band, playing bars and shit, maybe make some demo tapes, maybe sell some tapes made out of someone's basement at their gigs, homemade album cover and all, having another job, doing something he enjoys (idk what, maybe in a record store or like being a mechanic, idk what he would enjoy doing tbh, but just something u dont have to study for a billion years to be able to work with) and just like spend some of his free time playing and making music with a group of ppl, probably not the CC guys tho. i feel like he would always treasure that time in his life, but tbh i think they wouldn't work very well together as a band right after s4.

i think it would take eddie some time to get back to playing music, especially infront of other ppl, and i feel like the other guys would either graduate and go do their own thing, or have a hard time adjusting to eddie being different and wanting different things than before, idk i just think that their band would be a lil unbalanced at that time, maybe a few years down the line they could play together again. but i honestly think that eddie would've found another band before then, but like him and the CC guys might play like at home just for fun, a lil jam session, but for playing bars and stuff? i think Eddie would play in another band.

like i think that for Eddie to be completely comfortable in like expressing himself through music, his primary band would have to be largely unconnected to hawkins and all that shit, both bc then they didn't know him before all of that happened, but also bc he would feel less like him expressing himself would reveal something he shouldn't, less like he's walking on eggshells sorta.

also,..no one come for me, but most of the cc guys seem like theyre just eddies high school friends, like they are friends and they enjoy his company and they care about him, but i don't think they are all super duper close or anything, like i can see them losing contact after high school v easily,..maybe bc i myself have friends from like 2nd grade who i was really close to and then after high school we just don't talk much, and like i still care about them and i miss them sometimes, but we just dont talk, and nothing in particular happened to make it that way. so like i guess i see the cc guys a bit like that..and also they are all like two years younger than Eddie at least, so it's not v likely that they were all close friends before high school either.

oops this got v long, hope u care, sorry if u don't <3

I DO CARE i agree w all of this i think that like while there's definitely a certain something something in him being able to do the ultimate stick it to the man and prove everyone wrong and make it BIG TIME! or what have you the reality is he is just some 20 odd year old guyyyyy who plays a lil guitar... a lot of the appeal for his musician skills specifically FOR ME is that he is still sort of such a loveable loser like that post that's like he plays the hideout every tuesday and steve and robin go and cheer and clap the house down and there's something really lovely in that. just having the most medicore band ever. JUST SOMETHING really nice in him being able to do what he loves but still be objectively a small town boy with big city dreams. sniffles. also tbh the way trauma workz i think it would take him a while to even want to get back into the groove bc of how connected his playing was to his ... death ... i always forget he literally died. anyway.

#asks #i was going to answer this in the morning bc i turn anon off when i go to bed LOL but i didn't want u to think i was like ignoring it #sts

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icharchivist · 1 year

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gosh, mentioning your friend who got bowled over by act 2 autumn must’ve been foreshadowing, because I, who foolishly was like, oh I don’t think I’ll relate to azami that much he’s very different from me but it’ll be fun to see autumn, cried twice while going thru the back half of this story. jeez. I’ll may have to be a bit less chronological than usual for the sake of keeping all of that stuff later.

zombie run night was rly great! more like zombie fun night amirite. I’m sorry I make bad jokes. banri getting azami to be a zombie as well was so nice like. again he’s being a good leader.

tenma being scared of zombies makes sense obviously. I’m with him. not zombies but when I was staying with a relative a while back I found a lizard the length of my hand in the bathroom and then refused to use that bathroom for the rest of my stay.

I really liked the eyeball necklace detail—it made the event feel real and also considerate? the moment yuki just went … at tenma I Knew he had planted the necklace on him tho. he’s so funny for that. seeing that and being like yeah tenma you’re so right. you don’t need to participate. cant believe mankai didn’t recognize banri when he caught them. azami must have some stellar makeup skills

azami going after sakyo and haunting him abt his budget lifestyle was sooo funny. like I was bracing for something slightly charged to happen but it was just funny. and he had a good time!! I’m glad. I liked that banri was like. still encouraging to azami even tho his acting motives aren’t the purest lol. I mean to be fair he has no room to talk there but it’s also just nice to like. meet him where he’s at. like we see azami doesn’t really get The Feeling until closing night but. things take time.

azami and omis whole thing was. so good. like the way he won’t even like accept a bandaid is so. azami… I loved the way they resolved it? first seeing omi juza and tsuzuru talking in uni was cool. but then kumon approaching azami was like. so nice. again the way that they like talk and kumon’s like I miss summer! and u can Hear the smile in azamis voice when he’s like come on summer literally just ended!

but him being awkward around omi bc he’s not sure what a mother should be like… gosh. like the way he describes the whole thing as like. strange and confusing I’m going to vote the wall like. like yeah actually that’s exactly how it feels when someone is kind to you in a way you haven’t yet experienced it makes you want to throw it off immediately bc it’s like whoa whoa hold on. I’m not allowed this kind of thing. anyways just. no wonder he likes kumon so much that guy is like, effusive in his praise and azami probably likes having ppl around who are Nice like that. loved omis portrait. it was so good. and it like. absolutely sucks that he had to grow up that quick. very nice to see nachi again, though. but when kid-omi was like: one day in the future. I’ll take a break for myself :) omi. omi I’m shaking you. have you ever really done that. well ig now that he’s living in mankai he’s letting his family take care of housework and stuff? but like, still.

minor note but when they’re doing a street act it was rly cool to see juza just like seamlessly and confidently advertise the play. he’s come so far…

*cracks knuckles* alright all of that was warmup now it’s time for the BIG STUFF. azami almost got hit by a car!!!! the cg there was like. So Good. like the way sakyo is absolutely Frazzled… yeah. like god I keep thinking abt that cg. its sooo. wow!! i dont think ive seen sakyo look so distressed!!! hes not wearing glasses bc he was so shocked that he ended up breaking his glasses in the rush to get there!! its like. azami look... u have a dad that wishes for your every happiness... and azami is just Sitting There mostly unharmed and looking a little confused like huh… why’s sakyo looking so out of sorts… it’s wonderful. and the way sakyo is like even if it was just a scrape I need to find who did this and hurt them. like godddd and the way he’s like “so I don’t even have the right to worry about you anymore?” I am. Going to cry.

what rly got me tho was like the whole jin-gi-oh cards though bc like first off sakyo remembered ALL of them but also!! also just the way u can hear azami kind of mumble stutter like we-well I bet he doesn’t even remember the card stuff (why would he really care about me…) and then sakyo clearly Does. and it’s just like.

it’s so clear that while sakyo is convinced that he barely has the right to talk to azami bc he betrayed him by chasing after his dream… a lot of what azami is worried about is that sakyo doesn’t care about him anymore. like imagine you’re fourteen and you’ve just learned that the guy you secretly think of as your dad, who’s like the only one that’s supported your dreams, is leaving you to pursue his own. without you. and you get into a huge fight with him about it and storm off. and then a week passes and you don’t hear from him. months pass and you don’t hear from him. whenever he’s around doing ginsenkai stuff you just… don’t really talk to him. and you’re fourteen maybe fifteen so you’re too embarrassed to reach out first. besides if he left that easily maybe this whole thing was just a job to him, huh? maybe he never liked you as much as you liked him. whatever. whatever. it’s fine. like the “I bet he’s having so much fun now” line azami says… it’s so clear he believes like. oh sakyo was slumming it with me and left for greener pastures.

and of course sakyo is sitting there like oh I’ve committed the biggest betrayal ever by not supporting his dreams well enough. he probably hates me and doesn’t want to ever see my face again. and like that’s not helping.

and then you run away from your bio dad because you can’t let go of your own dreams and when you don’t have anywhere to go it turns out that you can actually run to the place sakyo went to. and strangest of all sakyo is letting you stay. like the way he just. the pause he has when sakyo says he’s basically his guardian. the feeling of. sakyo is… admitting that? does he… does he WANT to be my dad (I thought he didn’t want to—)

and now you’re here in a hospital and just saw sakyo was super worried about you and also like. maybe treasures you in the way that you thought he did. sakyo says his story of running away is about a pathetic kid but it’s also like. for azami he just learned that the card thing he did with sakyo and liked so much that he still keeps them carefully is actually a parent-child thing sakyo did with his own mom!!! it’s like. oh my god.

azami talking abt his own experience with buying cards and then his dad trashing them, though… I. hm. I am going to leave the section abt azami’s bio dad alone bc I’m tempted to get mean about it and I kind of want to leave that for later.

so, skipping forward to the actual play… it was so cool to see summer come in for support! and I always love seeing how the chapters extend what we see in the actual play. also the voice acting that’s good too. the one thing I noticed was like. “you remember the boy with brown hair you killed three years ago?” who’s going to tell them that taichis hair is as red as ever. so roy’s hair was never brown. it got kinda brown when he became undead? but before I don’t think it was.

cannot believe those asshole delinquents were the ones who almost hit azami. the title “buff high schooler” is just rly funny to me tho. sakoda chasing after azami and then calling everyone was so good of him. smart choice my guy. love how everyone in autumn (minus taichi who seems a little nervous) is like. it’s fighting time. very cool to see all of natsugumi volunteer to be opening act. was confused by the “I always repay my debts” line but I think it’s for banri acting as stand in for kumon? which is nice bc it’s like. tenma is the one saying this so it rly just gives the idea that like. natsugumi is a team yknow. and later when they do the acting it meshes so well with the actual play? bc like they had a specific point where they were like oh let’s adlib and do some comedy that’s undead related to make sure the play isn’t a bummer. and then here’s natsugumi just doing like those sorts of jokes.

anyways back to azamis kidnapping.

muku: won’t it be bad if they see ur faces?

me: …ah. I have. the faintest idea of where this is going [judo bear nozaki flashes to my head]

THE CG WAS. THE BEST POSSIBLE USE OF A CG EVER ITS SO GOOD. I LOST MY SHIT. THE HOLLOW EYES R KINDA TERRIFYING IN A REALLY FUNNY WAY. TAICHI THIS WAS AN AMAZING IDEA. the guitar / bass guitar (? idk instruments) that rolls in during this scene is amazingggg. it’s just the like instrumental break part of respawn which is. I went and listened to that after finishing boyhood collage and the song is like, sooooo good. much love to it. the rly fast vocal parts made me think of the fast parts of worlds end dancehall. which is like also apocalyptic setting so that was cool. also I love worlds end dancehall.

they were so funny during this tho. sakyo going “roooar. give us back our friend, you punkass kids.” and juza forgetting what bears sound like so he just literally goes “beaaarrrr” what are you a Pokémon?

and sakoda running towards azami!!! <3 I grew soooo much affection for sakoda in this story tbh like he takes care of azami so well!

thought it was very interesting that like. when they return, everyone in natsugumi is audibly exhausted minus tenma (he’s probably got great acting stamina) and misumi (I don’t think he says any lines here? but he’s probably just got excellent physical stamina. and he and tenma did start out with the like best acting chops of the troupe) which is a cool detail.

and then azami just carefully opening up that he was terrified. not of being hit but of disappointing them and the play. and then when he says to sakyo… “I’m only saying this once, but when I was a kid, I always thought of you as my dad. And… I still do.” IM GOING TO CRY. idk. like the way that azami just Says That and let’s it hang there and then they do the play.

izumi: wow the fight scenes r intense today! (please don’t tell me it’s bc they were just actually fighting…)

damn izumi what do u want me to tell you then. huh. they stomped in their with their animal heads and azami pirouetted back to mankai? no violence involved?

and sakoda crying at the play!! again I can hear the smile in azamis voice when sakodas like bawling in front of him. when azami was like. shift couldn’t make it…? I paused and was like. azami implied shift had an interest in theater at the end of act 2 summer… could it be… and then when azami was like “the god troupe, huh…” I was like ahhhh fuck. we shall see what goes on there later ig.

also they bring up vkei again when talking abt what they want to do next and izumi shut it down… what do u have against it! honestly eyes emoji at masumi saying he likes it, tho... mazumi expressing an opinion that doesnt align with izumi's personal tastes??? maybe I’m missing something.

but the ENDING!!!!!

citron: "I have reached my limit..." AND THEN GUYS THERE HES LITERALLY THERE!!!!! I’m assuming the <> for their dialogue means they’re speaking in their native tongue anyways im going to obsess over <Citronia.> <I've come to get you.> / <I've been wondering when you'd get here.> I knew guy was coming to get citron so I’m glad to see that’s confirmed… already gave my theories on the specifics so I’m interested to see if I’m anywhere close to the mark there.

okay and Now I can talk abt azamis bio dad. i. uh. I hate him. actually he really grinds my gears in a way I didn’t think was going to happen. so I’m worried that I’m being like somewhat unfair to him bc I’m projecting my own biases onto him. so I’m sorry if u have like good opinions of him. it’s rly so funny tho I knew azami did like makeup and stuff and I was like “oh I have. No Interest in makeup or skincare so I probably won’t relate to it too hard” and then This happened and it’s like I got hit with a bowling ball.

like goddd. the way azami is like yeah I bought some cards with my allowance, and then my dad who’s not sakyo found out and threw them out. “I learned then to never let my dad get his hands on anything I’d bought with my own money” gah… not to overshare but like, I feel azami so much there. growing up I would like. never want to tell my parents I liked Anything bc I knew they’d be like oh you’re so silly and dumb and stupid for wanting any kind of merch or collectibles! it’s such a hassle!! why do u like this stupid thing!! so. ahah. I went to a concert for the first time this year and I remember my parents thinking it was weird but then one day my dad called me and he was like oh I was talking to a colleague abt the concert you’re going too and he says that band you like is like, super cool and popular. so it’s like ah. ig now that an Adult has approved it I’m a cool kid now. the same way my writing was worth shit and was totally useless until a family friend kept gushing about the way I’d helped their daughter. anyways what I’m saying it is azami I get it.

and his dad then trashed his makeup, too… like the way sakyos defense for the handmade cards were that they were like “yakuza” cards so he couldn’t complain like it’s a flimsy defense but the fact that he even had to like, make a Justification about these cards when it’s like. these handmade cards aren’t going to help azami fit in or make friends at all so like they’re not accomplishing what the store bought ones were for. but like you still need to defend against it.

but yeah the way it’s like. wow at a pretty young age azami was like oh okay. so if I like ANYTHING I can’t tell my dad about it or he might ruin it. do I feel that this is perhaps part of why he seems so cautionary abt romance yeah sure.

the first time I actually teared up during this whole thing was actually sakyo in the hospital telling azami not to give up. that he can do it even in defiance of his parents. and it’s so meaningful bc sakyos like his DAD. and he’s telling him he’ll support him… like idk. something so heartwarming abt a parental figure being like, hey, you need to prize yourself to the point that if needs must, you can even rebel against me.

the conversation sakyo and izumi have after that, too… “after seeing my boss, I get the feeling there’s no dad out there who doesn’t care about his kids.” this line makes me feel. So Complicated. like I won’t deny the fact that I think azamis dad cares for him on…. Some level…. but it’s like homares grandmother. im glad she loved him but it doesn’t erase the ways that she hurt him, yknow?

also sakyo. you live with misumi tenma and masumi. masumi you can maybe argue his dad caring abt him and same with tenma (but. I mean I’m not HAPPY abt arguing that bc they r rly under baseline care.) but anyways are u gonna do that with misumi’s dad. then again probably only summer troupe knows about the situation there… honestly sakyo probably knows nothing abt the tenma situation too. so he’d only know about masumi and masumis dad seemed like fairly reasonable and nice at the end.

sakoda was so cool here tho. first off having the nerve to even try to still lie about the tickets to protect azami. and then when azami got dragged to his bio dad the fact that sakoda just. started yelling at him? amazing. this made me cry again. like yeah sakodas been watching him… what azamis doing isn’t child’s play! he’s right! and sakoda knows all of this bc he’s been caring abt that kid for forever!! to the point that he’ll yell at the yakuza head like this bc he cares that much!!!

and azami is like. god. I rly love the way he was like. so openly resentful. “Since when have you ever been a father to me?! Dont pull that shit on me now!” ouch. so true though.

and the. the way that uh. “Wh-what are you bowing for? This asshole doesn’t deserve—“ you can HEAR the trembling in his voice. he’s holding back tears. sakyo bowing FOR azami is so good. like I think this scene hit me so hard bc like both sakoda and sakyo who have the lives they do now mostly in thanks to the ginsenkai, are like… sticking up for azami. who is fifteen and thus hasn’t really Given them anything but like his presence. and they care enough about him to stick up for him anyways.

anyways I hadn’t thought abt this until now but it’s like huh… yeah no wonder azami made something up. he wouldn’t want to talk abt sakyo in front of sakyo bc that would be like admitting he still cared abt him. and he didn’t want to talk abt his parents in front of sakyo bc uh. it would be complicated ofc. like in his boyhood collage he was like oh I don’t even remember why I ran away, but shift was probably frustrated and stuff. but like clearly azamis mom had just recently died at that point. he probably just didn’t want to talk about that.

the reveal that the magic brush he uses on kumon was his mothers makeup brush, though… like the way it was her cheek blush to make herself look less sick. and he does the same thing for kumon years later. it just makes it… so much more affectionate. ”I wanted to use its magic to make someone happy like that again. I wanted to do for someone else what I could no longer do for my mom.” and YOU DID!!!

and then his bio dad’s response to all of this. “well, aren’t you all just making me out to be some evil villain. you think there’s a parent out there who doesn’t want to support his child’s dreams?” yes. yes absolutely.

and the way his reasoning is just like. he just thought azami was making up excuses to run away from the family. that uh. that’s not. true… ugh this part is what made me so frustrated. like azami, after his portrait, so very specifically asserts that’s he’s his son and because of that he’ll do anything for him and ginsenkai family. and it’s like. Yeah. I know what it’s like to be so aware of your position as someone’s child and know that even as you hate them you will also do anything for them even if they won’t recognize that. like… he never even asked. azami was so pissed about getting his makeup trashed that he literally ran away and didn’t come back. and you’re still assuming oh it was a little side hobby, if he REALLY cared about it he would’ve, what, psychic mind beamed the force of his feelings to you? if you had paid attention like sakyo or sakoda you would’ve clearly seen how long and how deeply he’s loved it for. even if it had been for a short time how would you know it wouldn’t grow into something else, anyways. like acting.

also his “study your ass off and aim for the top.” line about makeup and then when he gifts him the makeup set later… good on him for personally buying that stuff. but that line left such a sour taste for me bc it’s like. ugh… honestly it just hit a sore spot bc I remember my parents being like. hi child. you can do like, anything you want supposedly but if you want to do like Anything in the humanities field or arts field you’ll have to be the top 1% of it otherwise you’ll die alone. so like if you’re not good enough to do that just quit (I am implying you’re not good enough). and it’s just like. idk. the sort of implications that if azamis not like the best at makeup ever and also that if he hadn’t chosen to do it bc of his mother and it was just something he Liked, then that reason wouldn’t be enough…? that’s just the vibe I get.

also azamis bio dad being like sigh I’ll tell sayuri you’ve become a strong independent man instead of the family head. it just rly irks me like. even now it felt like hey old man. are you looking more at your dead wife than you’re looking at your actual child. because that’s what it feels like.

anyways idk. I hope azami has more space later in life to be a bit more resentful bc I think he deserves it, yknow? I think the way the whole thing went down like, Made Sense bc why would that guy like admit he had hurt his son… that’s like. unrealistic. so I don’t think the story was written badly or anything. it just made me like. really sad. azami didn’t end up loudly crying (im not counting the wailing he has to do in the play for his dead dad.) and like that makes sense to me. actually I think it was very Cool Of Him to never lose his composure That Badly. uh and he’s going to do great considering he as a middle schooler is like rolling normally with college students. but I just want him to be like. feel safe even when he’s not excelling, yknow?

I fear I lost the plot or rambled a bit too hard there at the end, so sorry if it’s incoherent!! I rly like azami!! this was a very good story. im also ridiculously excited for winter.

HUH OH. SORRY ABOUT THAT LMAO. a3 relatability strikes again?

let's go into it!

dFKJDFKLFDJ zombie fun night is perfect. Banri is really being a good leader and figuring out how to have Azami engage with what they're going to do it's just. god Banri is good.

HELPP. Tenma scaredycat, but also for the lizard thing, so valid, i would do the same. AND HELP for the necklace. This is so funny. and yeah Azami's makeup skills truly are shining there! DLKFJDKLFJD being so used to a3 dropping emotional bombs that this just ended up being funny makes it even softer. But yeah agreed on the way Banri coaches him and still encourages him even though it's obvious Azami doesn't feel the same way about theater yet. For Banri who went from uninterested to "this is my whole life actually", it must be jarring to look at this past mirror, but even more reasons to take it easy.

God the Omi and Azami scene was so good. (friend was staring into oblivion during this whole scene and then cursed me. I would love to be all awww but i couldn't stop laughing.)

But yeah it was so nice that like, so many of them worked together in trying to help out? like it really shows that they're really all a family and a community now, and they'll try to help with their newest members as well. AND AWW. yeah Summer is happiness itself. always missing them. even Azami cannot resist them.

BUT YEAH Azami's awkwardness aroound Omi is just. man. Exactly as you say, it's just, difficult to approach right. but yeah it does serve to justify why it goes smoothly with Kumon on the other hand. Omimi's portrait… just, absolutely heartbreaking again as always. I wonder if Omi did take a break when he was being a delinquant and therefore is doubling down on being of service because he still feels guilty for this time. or if him joining the theater troupe is his vision of taking a break since it means his family has to handle things on their own. Or maybe like Juza and Taichi he's just being too hard on himself.

JUZA SO GOOD. ALWAYS.

and here's the meat of it! yes that CGI was so good man. You really feel just how important Azami is to Sakyo in that image. Also if i recall correctly, Kumon panicked over the phone so they really all expected it to be bad while it was just, Kumon panicking, which somewhat makes it even funnier to me. Anyway. Sakyo good dad. that's all i'd say. god this scene is so emo. AND YESS SOBS THE CARDS STUFF. IT'S GENUINELY SO EMO. Azami not able to believe Sakyo would care this much while of course Sakyo does, come on and it's just. god this arc. God the whole way you describe Azami's thoughtprocess is bringing me to tears. I feel like this is exactly how he felt it yeah. Sakyo is worrying about how he "betrayed" Azami by leaving while Azami would have been just fine with it if it didn't feel like Sakyo was abandonning him and only thinking of him as a duty, and it's just. godd. and goddd the way you describe the rest i'm just. soso emo. They really have a neat relationship, a hurt neither of them were able to explain to the other and therefore they hurt one another like that, but they genuinely care so much and want to be part of each other's lives and and y'know what Azami maybe Sakyo is the only dad you need.

SUMMER SO COOL YEAH!! And yeah the play is pretty nice, though yeah. I guess with Azami at makeup they tried new hair things but Taichi's hair stayed too red for it all smh! but i guess in a huge theater it might not matter so much.

SAKODA IS SOOOO GOOD, UNSUNG MVP OF THIS EPISODE. yeah for Tenma's "i always repay my debts" it's about how Autumn helped Kumon out, so Summer is going to help Autumn and Azami out as well basically. And yeah Tenma definitely see them as a team, he's Natsugumi's leader and therefore he speaks for and takes debts for all of Natsugumi. What a lad. But Natsugumi did such a good job and i love how hard they helped on this one. truly MVPs.

Also yes i love how all of Autumn was ready to fight except Taichi who was nervous, but i love even more that it's Taichi who comes up with the plan on how to infiltrate the base. Really reminding us that he was with the "Bad Boys" because of spy related crimes by how he can come up with plans to infiltrate stuff, but also i love this so much. It's kinda where i started to have my headcanon of "Taichi is scaryingly smart when it comes to illegal stuff". Like the idea of Taichi messing up say, simple math, but coming up with an infiltration plan that would even have Chikage pause is one of my favorit headcanons ever, and it all started because of this.

BUT YES THE CG WAS SO GODDAMN PERFECT. IT'S ONE OF MY FAV CG EVER IT'S SO FUNNY. And with the song in the back, it was GLORIOUS. i'm glad you liked Respawn!!!! it's such a neat song! Also i need to share this stage video: https://www.tumblr.com/icharchivist/708632707674079232?source=share

BUT YEAH it was so funny and i lOVE that they were dedicated in like, actually playing their animals like. dguys you didn't HAVE to. you're just so funny. AND JUZA'S "BEAAAR", it's so good. I love them so much.

Sakoda MPV <33333 he really does take care of Azami so well it's really soft.

And yeah Summer's exhaustion is a nice detail. god it makes me wonder for how long they went on, a wonder the public didn't get weirded out by it.

AND SOBS YEAH AZAMI'S SPEECH. YEAH. And also the "maybe it's because i have two assholes dad that i turned into such an asshole" with a bright smile on his face. god he's so good.

And eheheh for Shift, but, yeah. yeah…. AND SAKODA REALLY GOOD. and please just let them having some vkei related play it's all good!! it's worth it!! maybe this time none of you would oppose Juza wearing a dress if the whole thing is about being scared he wouldn't look feminine enough smh!! AND LDKJFKLDFJD MASUMI'S RARE INDIVIDUALISTIC MOMENT.

AND THAT ENDING!!! yeah < > are for foreign languages in general, and in their case it's their native one. But finally. Guy teasing just to build up to it now!!!

Ok so, now, Azami's dad.

"my dad who's not Sakyo" i love that we're carrying it on on "Real Dad Sakyo" and "Not Sakyo Dad", it says everything.

And i'm all good with the oversharing as long as you're comfortable with it, and man. Yeah i feel you on that, my family is pretty much the same. I've also had my family like, throw out or destroy my stuff, important stuff, either without my knowledge or in front of me, so to say i felt Azami really hard would be an understatement. It's a whole level of violation that is just, really hard to swallow and forgive. Impossible even.

Honestly the whole writings over the problematic dads of Mankai, in the whole story, is so conflicting to me in general. I feel like. The issue is that most of the bad parents we meet don't have anything else going for them, the only thing we know about them per se is their function in society, and that they're bad with their kids. They're tools for their kids's backstory more than actual people. And i feel like Azami's dad actually sounds like a real person. A conflicting, messed up person with his own issues, and that ends up hurting Azami as a result. There's a difficulty to reconcile how the dad took good care of Sakyo as a kid for instance, to how he behaved with Azami, and it's really unnerving in general. And as such it puts Sakyo in a position of wanting to defend the man because he owes him so much, and it's difficult to blame him for that, but as a result Azami loses one of his major support.

Honestly my feelings about Azami's dad are complicated. I believe he's the one father of Mankai who can actually realistically work on his issues and improves his relationship with Azami. I believe he cares for Azami on some level more than just material (in opposition to how i'd consider Tenma's, who cared for his carreer more, and Masumi's, who only cared when he needed to fill his divorce's loneliness, and well, Misumi's don't care.). So i end up believing there is a possibility still for this relationship to improve in a realistic way that doesn't feel just like a deus ex machina like the others dads have been. but god, this particular brand of neglect and mistreatment truly also struck a core with me and therefore i can't totally go unbiased about it and ends up just, uncomfortable and unsure. It's so complicated.

Mostly i'd say my different approach is that, even if Tenma, Masumi or Misumi wants to work things out with their dad, i would be completely opposed to it. Purely "why the fuck, no, that's not worth it" at them. But if Azami wants to work it out it's like. "Fine. just stay safe, know you can remove yourself from it whenever you feel like it, and remember to be yourself, and bail out anytime something would go out of hands". yaknow?

But yeah i agree i feel like it really puts Azami in a position of hypervigilence. Everything had to always be a secret, calculated, you only show to your father what you're ready to defend, and it would make some stuff like romance or passions in general, stuff that leaves you emotionally vulnerable, as something that's just too much risk for very little reward. So you just closes in completely.

so Sakyo being there and actually showing him that he can just be himself and he doesn't have to worry more ahead of it is meaningful because yeah, like you say, it gives him a parental figure who is actually willing to let him experiment and be free without having to always be prepared to defend why you want to do something.

“after seeing my boss, I get the feeling there’s no dad out there who doesn’t care about his kids.” i actually really hate this line in a sense, i know Sakyo is mostly just, extrapolating to what he's seeing now, but i hate it on a personal level. I do think Azami's dad cares for Azami, but yeah exactly like you said, like Homare's grandma, his own issues means he hurt Azami in ways that are ways too deep for love to just be enough. Sometimes parents love you and hurt you more than a parent who would merely tolerate you. Because they love you so much they want to make sure you're well fitted to the world and ends up messing you up as a result.

But yeah god, i'm glad we're on the same page, you can't say "all dads care for their kids" when you're living with those kids, and Misumi's in particular. This makes me see so red. I get Sakyo has a personal bias here but giod. but yeah Sakyo probably only knows about Masumi's and yeah, Masumi's dad was reasonable at the end that he might work it out. but also like, didn't Sakyo's dad abandon hm and his mom?! that the whole reason his mom had a hard time in life was because of that? bc i don't remember if Sakyo's absent dad is due to abandon or death. Bc if it's abandon, i feel like Sakyo shouldn't be the one saying all dad cares yaknow? I still think that, the Wastonian reasons of it all, is because Sakyo owes so much to the Boss that he tries to rationalize things in his favor yaknow? But the Doylist reason, i think, is mostly that the one weakness of a3's writing is truly with how they manage to create realistic scenarios of abuses and the way it affects the kids, but then they want to solve it with the parents going "my bad", and the problem is that it's not how coping with abuse works yaknow.

SAKODA IS SOOO COOL HERE YEAH. Like man, the glow up Sakoda got in this arc with how much he would go to hell for this kid and fight the devil himself if he had to. god. unsung mvp.

Azami is totally entitled to throw that at his father's face, go Azami go.

" sakyo bowing FOR azami is so good. like I think this scene hit me so hard bc like both sakoda and sakyo who have the lives they do now mostly in thanks to the ginsenkai, are like… sticking up for azami. who is fifteen and thus hasn’t really Given them anything but like his presence. and they care enough about him to stick up for him anyways. " OGHHH SO TRUE. THIS IS REALLY SO. SO GOOD.

and you're right about Azami's collage being the way it was. It makes sense Azami just didn't want to share this vulnerability, especially with Sakyo, at a point where he still believed Sakyo didn't care for him on top of that. It's really just. man.

SOBS AND YEAH FOR THE MAGIC BRUSH….

"and then his bio dad’s response to all of this. “well, aren’t you all just making me out to be some evil villain. you think there’s a parent out there who doesn’t want to support his child’s dreams?” yes. yes absolutely. " DJFHDL LEGIT. GOD.

But yeah i feel you on everything else you mention about Azami's dad it's just. Acting like Azami was at fault for not making it clear he was serious, while also making the environment too hostile for Azami to even come out and say that. He's responsible for how Azami couldn't trust him and then he blames Azami for not trusting him in a sense. It's really frustrating, and it feels like he's deflecting the blame, while also kinda taking the blame itself. I'm glad he's trying to fix things, and i do think he feels guilty, but it's still so sour.

and i'm so sorry your parents made you feel all those things :( but yeah i totally get what you mean on how it relates to Azami. It's just so unfair to put on him the pressure to be the best of the best.

In a sense i feel it fits a lot of the thematic of Autumn of like… The reasons they have Regrets to start with is because of the expectations people have put on them, whenever it is over their abilities (Banri) or their appearance (Juza) or their age (Sakyo) ect. And i feel like Azami is in this situation where he's about to regret it if he doesn't take his own life in between his hands. He has to break free from those expectations and fights for what he wants. but god. He shouldn't have to fight for it. ig you can't expect Yakuza to do things the easy way, but god he really shouldn't have to fight for it it makes me so sad.

"are you looking more at your dead wife than you’re looking at your actual child" so true unfortunately hhhh.

But yeah i hope Azami gets more ways to process everything later on :/

I do think that, out of all the bad fathers' plotline, like i said, this is the most realistic one in a sense, and i do think it's well written in general. And i do think that when it comes to abused/neglected kids and their parents, there is also just… i know online the consensus is "children should just cut ties with their toxic parents" and i get how it's the easiest way to see it, to free yourself for good for the influence, but it comes with its own type of downsides that are rarely discussed and is also a lot of pressure to put on a kid. Obviously, if it's too toxic it SHOULD be the case, like i said, chara like Misumi in particular are better off moving past it, but i feel like, in Azami's situation, where despite all the hurt and all the pain, Azami still definitely see his father as a human whom he wants to work things out with… It's just really complicated. I have really messy feelings about all of this.

I do hope Azami would manage to be more resentful and end up being able to actually discuss with his dad and challenge him like, no, YOUR behavior was truly fucked up, it's not fair to ask of ME to communicate my feelings better when you never tried to listen, yaknow?

Anyway i do feel like this sort of… complicated messy conflicting feelings of resentment and yet wanting to work it out that is in Azami and his father's storyline, for how fucked up his father is, actually works very well and is very realistic, even if there would be wishes for Azami not to bother at all for it. I feel like it allows Azami the grace of having really mixed feelings about all of this without going to one extreme or the next about how to be with his father, and it's something i really personally connected with, as someone with a very difficult relationship with my family, who thought cutting ties was my best solution at some point, and now as an adult, have to deal with how while i could never ever forgive them, the other extreme isn't satisfying to me, on multiple levels. I don't like his father, but i want Azami to be able to work it out in the way he would consider satisfying, and i think that the story is written in a way that leaves this approach possible and addresses it as such, in a way i think the others bad dads of Mankai get too much of a free pass. but man. messy. And with the patern of bad dads getting off too easily this can come up as much more sour than the conflicting feelings it could have actually worked on if the others dads were treated accordingly imo.

Azami's storyarc genuinely did hit hard for me as well because of that. He's not a chara i particularly relate to outside of this specific plotline but this plotline hits not only very deep, but on mixed feelings that are hard for me to face in fiction, so it's always hard to look at.

On the light hearted side, my friend we talked about was cursing me the whole storyarc bc of how he related to Azami and then Azami's portrait happened and he genuinely just went "okay you know what fuck you" and was so emotionally damaged by the mirror that i could forget for a bit my own pain by letting him suffer a bit. Terrible friend moment.

Anyway!!! it's all good, i'm glad you did ramble, it was really nice to read and well, it's interesting things to think about, even if the conclusion isn't easily clear cut.

I'm really glad you liked Azami and his story!!!

And ehehe Winter soon <3333

And "Conquering Misoshiosa Island!" first!

Take care and always feel free to ramble <333

#ichareply #long post for ts #ichafantalks a3 #aranarumei

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yuukei-yikes · 1 year

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your kenjirou fanfic made me curious... what are your hcs for haruka's dad?

TY FOR READING IT :D erm erm let me link the fanfic again. maybe i can tempt someone to read it. i wrote a little about haruka's dad in there😳 bur also bc i will be talking abt it in this post heh

SURPRISINGLY i dont have a super concrete headcanon for haruka's dad? i see the consensus is that He Sucks and He's Awful and another hc ive seen a lot is he HATES takane because SHE MAKES HARUKA WANNA LIVE😩😩😩... which is kinda funny to me.

i dont think mr kokonose hates takane. i dont think he knows she exists! i think he spent so little time with haruka and even less time actually chatting with him he would've never met takane or even heard about her a lot. he probably knows haruka has one classmate and has probably heard her name but i doubt he'd care to remember it. another thing abt haruka's dad hating takane bc She Makes Him Wanna Live.. i dont think he'd KNOW about haruka's pain and how much he wants to live. he never spent time with haruka or talked with him to know him so personally, especially since haruka was in denial and doesn't even admit to himself he's desperate to live until he's in his last months of life.

about the general idea haruka's dad is an asshole. well... ITS PRETTY MUCH IN TEXT. haruka describes him as an offbeat guy who plays life straight and narrow and never jokes around. also the kind of person who can tell a 10 year old boy who just lost his mom "Hey ur also gonna die in a few years" lol. so yeah probably not the Best guy around

haruka's "whatever" attitude (ive talked abt this in another post i know sorry im repeating) i think comes a lot from his dad?? like since his dad acts Whatever about everything + his illness especially, haruka also learned to be like that. it's pretty much the only reference he has and the only coping tool he can find. so haruka represses his feelings and feels like he has no right to say them out loud. for example when he realises he's in love with takane. he says "i feel i have no right to say it". that has something to do with haruka being conditioned to believe nothing he feels or does matters, because he's just gonna die soon anyway.

it's also said mr kokonose became Weird once haruka's mother passed. i was never a fan of this detail because... hm... scientist dad becomes cold and distant after mother passes away because he just loved her So Much........ why does that sound familiar?

jin i respect u for writing men so deeply in love with their wives but there's too much repetition there with the tateyama parents. like girl.... personally, I'd rather imagine haruka's dad like he's Always been a weird distant guy. in fact not only that but i headcanon his mother was like this as well. i think it's easy to hc the mom to be as cheerful and nice as haruka since we know exactly nothing about her personality, but idk why i enjoy the hc where both of haruka's parents were kind of cold and not very affectionate people in the first place. and when the mom passes, haruka's dad kinda goes No Contact. it just adds to haruka being so desperate for any kind of connection with people LOL like my guy doesn't even THINK of his dad when he's dying

these are one of haruka's dying thoughts 😭😭😭 like HE JUST. DJFDKFKRKFK SORRY ITS A LITTLE FUNNY HE MENTIONS KENJIROU AND NOT HIS DAD‼️‼️‼️ dont get me started on kenjirou and haruka's father/son relationship (will get started)

ok haruka's dad works at research labs. in the fanfic i wrote i also made it to be like. he researches diseases and vaccines and shit. i think he'd do that kinda job. and i think it's very much motivated by his family. and since he did that kinda job he knew how hopeless haruka was, especially after the passing of the mom. mr kokonose being like welp. might as well crush his hopes before they even exist👍 like maybe he feels like he's doing some good by preparing haruka for the truth lol ...and maybe haruka's dad technique is like erm. i was already sad my wife died so ill keep distance from haruka so i dont get sad again 👍 so its rather a selfish move on his part to tell that to haruka. like i dont wanna dad u anymore this shit sucks

like i said i dont have a concrete hc i honestly do kinda enjoy the idea of haruka's dad just not giving a fuck about him LMAOOO BUT for the sake of answering, the way i wrote it in the fanfic was different.

the fanfic is about kenjirou. so when i wrote abt harukas dad it was more about kenjirou and haruka's bond than about haruka and his dad. like since earlier in the fanfic kenjirou has that convo with haruka and takane where haruka realises he's trying to admit his role in their deaths and haruka kinda asks him like. PLEASE JUST LIE LIKE I DONT WANNA KNOW. and kenjirou isnt even able to lie for their sake. it really broke haruka's heart and ruins his (and takane's) image of kenjirou. so when i wrote the bit abt haruka's dad later on, i wanted it to be more about... kenjirou knowing just how much of a bad dad mr kokonose is, particularly because kenjirou played a father figure for haruka in the past. yet he fails him so so badly. not only that but kenjirou is so focused/depressed about kano refusing to speak to him at the moment. so when he finds out mr kokonose is Apparently managing a bond with haruka, kenjirou is like AUUGGGGHH because this OTHER dad he once considered a bad dad is doing better than him. kenjirou fucked up his bond with haruka AND kano. thats kinda what i was trying to do there, idk if i did it succesfully LOL i also think he and kenjirou should be old man yaoi together bc it'd be funny. anyways moving on

yeah i think haruka and his dad would be in each others lives post str. i also think it'd be DEEPLY awkward for both of them its definitely NOT the father/son bonding of all time. lol. they see each other not super often and when they do it's not that cool. since its mentioned haruka's dad plays life Straight and Narrow he isn't super excited abt haruka's poor excuses about where he's been, why is he not dead/dying anymore and WHAT DO YOU MEAN ur drawing for a living WHAT DOES THAT MEAN‼️‼️‼️ so haruka probably. doesn't visit a lot❤️ but maybe haruka gifts him a painting and despite his dad doesnt understand how the hell haruka's paying rent he still puts the painting up. and haruka sees the painting is on the wall next time he visits and while neither says anything, haruka's thankful for the acknowledgment and his dad likes the painting and appreciates the gift. i think that's as tender as they can get lol.

erm erm haruka's dad doesn't know how to deal with this unexpected turn of events like. his dead kid just suddenly showed up again. whats a cringe old man to do?

in the fanfic i also wrote it like he kinda thought takane was cool bc she had a more stable job than haruka LMAOOOO that was sorta just a callout to what i talked abt earlier, since a popular hc says mr kokonose would dislike takane. so i was like you know what. lets make it he likes her better than haruka (<- my insane need to make everyone love takane)

quick takane mention please let me mention takane. i think haruka would refuse to bring takane to meet his dad bc seeing his dad is just so. emotionally draining and doesn't want her to sit through that and he's also probably like. passive aggressive a lot and haruka knows takane would kill the guy. sooo yeah. eventually theyd obviously meet and it is as painful as one can imagine bc mr kokonose probably googled what to say and is treating meeting your son's girlfriend like its a job interview. haruka and takane walk out of there in Shock. but yeah he likes her in his own weird way

conclusion: i wrote abt it mostly because of kenjirou. i agree haruka's dad is probably a dickhead but he could be a funny one too👍

#ask tag #haruka kokonose #kagenalysis #headcanons

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