#and truth is. its not because i didnt care its because they questionned if i felt love and

[mar64ds]

I would like to write down my own experience with lovelessness, we all have a different one and talking about it might help me understand it better + might help non-loveless people understand better as well

For most of my life, I didn't really questionned if I felt love or not. It's just something I assumed I did, to me (and to mostly everyone) it was like questionning if the sky was blue. Everyone felt love, that's what we all do, you see it on movies all the time, you see it at school, you see it in families (be it your own or others). I grew up with a mother that REALLY really valued love, it's the center of it all for her, which it's its own can of worms considering what kind of mother she turned up to be. She told me and my brother that she loved us every single day multiple times, I have never doubted that I was loved.

I was a very distant kid that enjoyed playing alone and being alone, but growing up I became very insecure about it and desesperatly wanted friends just to not be seen as the weird lonely classmate. I made some school friends, but either didn't last long or were very shallow friendships. My only long lasting friend is a neighbor of mine and while I would like to have more friends, I have also come to realize that the idea of having many friends makes me feel a bit... overwhelmed. Very overwhelmed in fact. I like the idea of having friends you talk to sometimes and hang out sometimes, but the idea of talking to multiple people every day and hanging out with them almost everyday sounds exhausting.

But let's get back to the topic of love. I have never been the biggest fan of 'power of love' tropes. When I was a kid I thought it was corny and took me out of the story. I was a bigger fan of stories that were more comedic than anything else, there were some exceptions here and there (big fan of digimon for example), but overall I just didn't relate to feeling an intense amount of love for someone. I started liking stories about love as I grew older, but there was something in the back of my mind that I didn't pay attention to until much later

One day I truly started thinking about it. I started to think about how characters in stories feel love, how I perfectly understood how they feel love. Then I started thinking about myself. I started to think if I loved my mother, my brother, my friends. Keep in mind, I was very young and still wasn't aware how toxic my family was, and at the time I had friends in school. So I started thinking about it and realized that I didn't actually feel any love for anyone. It wasn't like how I saw on tv, I understood love in fictional characters, but I didn't feel anything for the people I was close to. I got really scared and told to myself that I was just overthinking stuff and let it go.

From time to time, the thought returned and I continued to try to ignore it. I felt like a horrible person everytime I thought about it. With my family it was understandable as I realized that, well, my family is terrible. But with friends it felt cruel. I wanted to have friends, I have a good friend, how can I not actually feel anything? It felt evil and selfish.

I told to myself that I definitely do feel love and if I thought I didn't I just had to convince myself that I did. That it's also possible no one really 'feels' love and it's just a word we use for people we are close with and care about. Yep, that's totally what it is

I realized I was aro but I have talked about that already. Later on I found out about lovelessness. I read more about it and wanted to include it when I talked about aspec stuff, loveless people were very mistreated and misunderstood even inside the community. I care a lot about aspec issues, lovelessness felt like a big thing I had to care about, I challenged the way I see emotions and love and relationships, it gave me a lot to think about.

With time, lovelessness felt very very comforting. Those scary moments where I thought I was evil and crazy wouldnt have been scary if I knew not feeling love was normal and okay. Lovelessness is also comforting when I have to confront my very love-centered abusive mother. It's good to talk about how love isn't everything when we talk about abusers that use love as a way to come across as sympathetic and well-intentioned. Lovelessness felt sincere to me, love has felt forced and fake to me for the longest time, the possibility of someone that doesn't love but cares about others felt the most sincere thing ever for me. It felt more precious to me that someone is there for you over wether they love you or not.

I decided very recently to try out the label, I consider myself in the loveless spectrum, I'm not 100% sure if my love flunctuates and sometimes I may feel it, I genuinely have no clue. But I KNOW there are plenty of times where I don't feel it. Lovelessness has become a very important part of my life and myself. It makes me think a lot about life and relationships. It makes me happier. But it's also difficult given the fact that this is a very love-obsessed world. Which is why I want to acknowledge lovelessness more and more.

To me, it's true that love doesn't have one definition, it's going to mean something different for everyone. But some of us prefer to stop identifying with the word altogether. Maybe for your own definition of love that makes no sense, but we dont all have the same definition, remember that.

To me love is an emotion I don't really relate with and don't feel most of the time, if at all. I'm someone that wants to have some close friends but does not really want to be surrounded by too many people too much. I'm 100% non-partnerning as well. Love is not really important to me, I don't see it as something important or something to value people over. Toxic love is something I'm very familiar with and it has taught me that love really isn't everything.

Some might say my lovelessness comes from trauma, and while that's the case for many for me is highly unlikely. I already didn't feel love before realizing there was something wrong in my family. But my lovelessness definitely helps when I have to face my abusive mother

Lovelessness is super important to me. I could and will talk more about what it feels to me, hopefully my own perspective can help someone else!

[mydarlingem]

ever since we met

guys we are SO BACK i bring gifts <3 didnt realize how much i would miss writing on here. currently working on rewriting old work and new stuff so i can get back to posting on a weekly basis. hope you have been well and enjoy!!

cw. sakusa kiyoomi eats pussy, what more could you need

wc. 1800

you met sakusa kiyoomi two years ago when he took over his father’s business. every monday and saturday at 4 pm, he knocked on the back door of your flower shop. big boxes filled with one the best flowers for you. it was also two years ago when you first opened the door for him that you realized you loved him. he was so sweet and kind, always taking time to ask about you and following up on events in your life. you figured he did this with everyone on his route. little did you know that your sweet kiyoomi did not ask questions about any of his other deliveries.

he was determined to get to know you, however long it took him. he knew the movies you saw, the terrible dates you went on, your favorite flowers and your least favorite customers. no detail was too small for him, because he did care about it all. he liked your passion for your work and your love for the people around you. ever since he knocked on that door monday at 4 pm two years ago he has loved you. he knows it crazy, and he can't rationalize it for the life of him but he knows it's the truth. he knows you probably don't reciprocate but god he can't help it.

“hey kiyoomi what did you bring for me today?” you say with a smiled as you prop open the door for him. the way you say his name makes him weak in the knees, he loves how comfortable you are around him. “besides my beautiful face, everything you had on your list and an extra case of snapdragons because i know you always run out by thursday.” he smiles at you and sets down the boxes. “you really are the best thank you” you say as you walk back over to the counter to continue cleaning roses. “how are you today my favorite florist?” he asks as he sets down the last three boxes in their designated spot. “busy and understaffed” you sigh. “glad to know things always stay the same around here” he smiles and hands you a clipboard for a signature.

he likes the way you sign your name, he can't explain it but it suits you. “you know you are the last delivery of the day, so is there anything i can do to help out?” he takes the clipboard back from you as you hold back from speaking for a moment. “i have so much to do are you sure?” you ask hoping it's not just pity. “i'm here for whatever you need” he says as he takes his hoodie off and sets his things down. you never realized how many tattoos he has, or how big his biceps were. maybe him staying was good for morale. “would mind cleaning some mums for me?” he nods and steps to the counter to start.

its quiet for a little, the silence isn't awkward though. you look over at him, he's so efficient. his hands are so perfect, how is he so perfect? his voice snaps you out of your trance. “how was that date you had last week?” he asks, not looking up from the flowers in his hands. “lets just say i won’t be seeing him again” you exhale softly, mentally pleading that the very attractive man across from you will not ask you to embarrass yourself further. kiyoomi laughs softly before speaking again, “i can't believe we have never hung out outside of work” he says as he continues to clean flowers. his heart was racing at this point, you made him so nervous he was hoping you couldn’t tell.

“i know it's so crazy! we have to do something soon” you say with a smile. “well what are you doing this weekend? there’s a new bar i want to check out and i’d love to take you.” “if i didn't know any better i would think you were asking me out on a date kiyoomi” you smile before looking up at him and making eye contact with him. “and what if i am?” he says still smiling, your cheeks were so hot, was he messing with you? “well i'd think you were joking” you say trying to control the tone of your voice. he sets his flowers down as he makes his way to the other side of the table where you stand with shaky hands.

“oh im dead serious pretty girl” he runs his hand along your jaw tilting your chin towards his face. he's smiling at you like you hung and the moon and stars just for him. hes so close all you can smell is his cologne, god did he always smell this good? you aren’t sure who leans in first but your lips touch and suddenly everything feels so right. hes holding your face in his hand but slowly becoming so desperate as he kisses you. the cold metal of his lip piercings feels so good against your lips. you can't seem to get enough of him and you wrap your arms around his neck. he taps your thighs as you wrap your legs around him, he gently sets you on the counter. he breaks away from the kiss breathless and rests his head against your shoulder “you're so perfect” he all but whimpers against the skin of your neck.

“i've wanted to kiss you for so long” you say as he kisses your neck, and you run your hands through his soft hair. he moans softly at the contact and lifts his head up to kiss you again. standing in between your thighs he wraps his hands around your waist, smiling into the kiss. he can't believe this moment is real, he can't believe he finally worked up the courage to to act on his feelings. the all too familiar jingle of the front door opening snaps the both of you out of your bliss. “fuck” you say as you hop off the counter, “hi ill be right there." you look back to kiyoomi “will you please stay i promise i'll be so quick”. he smiles “dont worry im not going anywhere sweetheart.” you smile and kiss him on the cheek before running off to the front.

this might be the happiest he’s ever been. you’re so soft and sweet and oh my god he loves how gentle you are with him. he loves the effect he has on you, in fact he may just never move from this spot in the hope that you kiss him like that again. “thank you have a great day” you chirp as your voice breaks him out of his trance. you appear into the doorway to the back of the door with a smile. “hi” you say as you make your way back over to him, “hi sweet girl” he wraps his arms around you again. “i close in about 30 minutes, will you come home with me?” you ask shocked by your own boldness. the way you are looking at him he thinks he might die. “god i'll be wherever you want me.” the effect you had on him was unreal. “let me drop off my truck and i'll be back in fifteen”, “be quick” you say as you twirl his hair with your fingers. have you always been this hot?

kiyoomi was convinced was losing his mind. he has never moved faster in his life. he doesn't even remember driving his motorcycle back to your shop. all he knew is that he was walking back into your shop with more determination than he's ever felt before. “hi handsome” you say as he drapes his body against yours. “almost done?” he asks as he kisses your cheek. “i have about fifteen minutes before i can go but i'm all done.” you turn to kiss him as he plays with the waistband of your jeans. the kiss is messy and hot, he felt weak in the knees. “i can think of a few things to pass the time” he says as he breaks away from the kiss.

you smile looking up at him, his face was flushed and you could help but be proud of the effect you had on him. “please let me eat you out” your jaw drops at his words. “here?” you ask and he grins “here” he says as he drops to his knees in front of you. you could finish from just looking at this beautiful large man on his knees in front of you. “god please” he's quick to unzip your pants and slide them down your legs. he places small kisses along your thighs as he moves to put your legs on his shoulders. he kisses you through your underwear and you whimper softly. sliding your underwear to the side he starts softly using his tongue, and puts a finger inside you as he continues.

you grip his hair and squeeze your thighs against his head as he quickened his pace. “harder” he whimpers into you and you squeeze harder. god his tongue piercing is incredible. you are getting close to finishing, and he can tell. he moans into you like this is pleasuring him just as much as it is you. “more kiyo” you moan out. he moves faster as he inserts another finger. the nickname could have made him cum in his pants. you are quickly approaching your high as you stutter out an “im close” he's moving faster than before, focused on you and only you. he's eating you out like a man starved, the cold metal of his piercing mixed with the warmth of his fingers had you seeing stars.

you moan his name as you finish and he cleans you up with his tongue. your legs were shaking as he stands up and licks the rest of you off of his slender fingers. “you're so incredible” you say as you wrap your arms around him and kiss him, the taste of you still on his tongue. “i've been dying to do that for two years” he says as he pulls away from you. “i love you kiyoomi” you say looking him in the eyes, "i've been dying to tell you that for two years" mustering the courage to confess everything to him. “god i love you” he says cupping your face in his hands as he kisses you again. “i love you i love you i love you” he says softly in between kisses. "ill spend forever making you feel it."

[b1rds3ye]

hi!!! i LOVE the masked reader content 😭💞 my hyperfixated brain is thanking u deeply

can i request a masked (w LEDs bc i love it sm) reader who's saying "i cant believe you guys didnt notice my new haircut" or something similar, having a :( face on their mask and 141 is so confused like "we cant see your hair" "you have hair? kinda thought u were bald" stuff like that 😭 its a weird idea but im craving stupid platonic fluff like that

ty for the masked reader content love u sm for it

Hehehe as someone who hyperfixates a lot I am flattered I can induce it onto someone else LMAO Just a lil Drabble for this one I couldn’t think up of much 😅

“You pissed ‘em off,” Ghost observes and Soap’s face drops into one of sheer betrayal.

“That was one time 'n' now you a' think it’s me?” Johnny jerks his head to the side in annoyance. “What about when cap’n-”

“I’m sure they can hear you,” Gaz whisper-shouts as he gestures to you. The rest of the task force look over to you sitting on the couch at the far end of the common room. Absentmindedly watching the shared television, your arms are folded with your mask in a perpetual "-_-". You make no indication that you heard them, no, you were fully set on ignoring them all morning.

"Captain what should we do?" Kyle asks.

"This isn't a mission Kyle, we can talk it out," Price sighs.

"Care to do the honours, then?"

Price stills, beady eyes sparing a glance at your unmoving figure. If the rest of the task force didn't know any better, they would think the unwavering captain was scared.

"'m busy," he replies gruffly.

"Busy" being him fishing around in his pocket for a new cigar for an impossibly long amount of time until his subordinates let him off the hook.

"L.T.?" Johnny looks to the next superior officer, to which Simon only responds with a half-hearted grunt. In truth, Simon and John have always been good at figuring out your mood. This is one of the few times they've been left stumped, clear through the silent conversation they shared as they looked at each other.

"Cowards," Johnny mutters to himself before stomping up to you, with a drawn out, sing-song (but horrendously out of tune) "bonnieeeee" announcing his presence to you. You don't even flinch.

Johnny saddles himself beside you, leaning into you. He offers you his sweetest puppy-dogs to try and placate you before he tests the waters.

"So... what's up?"

The rest of the task force was slowly joining Johnny, you could tell as Price's cigar smoke became more pungent. An explosive move by you has these grown men flinching as you pull out a strip of paper and slam it on the coffee table in front of you, mask flitting to an angry face all the while before returning to "-_-".

Simon reaches the paper first. Delicately opening the thin parchment as Kyle and John peer over his shoulder. Johnny looks up at them but stays by your side.

Simon looks at you.

"A hairdresser?"

"Got it done yesterday," you seethe. "And no one bloody noticed. They're not cheap, you know!"

Johnny tries putting a hand on your shoulder but you jerk it away. There's a heavy moment of silence as you keep laser focused on whatever the hell the television is playing. Your hands grip your biceps as you ensure they stay crossed.

Kyle eventually submits. He kneels before you, not daring to take up all the view of the screen, but just enough for him to be sure you were aware of him.

"Love, I'm gonna ask you a question. Please don't take this the wrong way."

"What?" you grumble.

Kyle takes an audible inhale. He receives an encouraging nod from Price and he needs to take a swallow to prepare. Even you have to admit the anticipation is killing you now, you offer him the relief that he indeed has your attention, mask now set with "?" over the eyes.

"... you have hair?"

You groan and swat him away as Johnny bursts out laughing. Leaning forward with your head in your hands you try to make it seem like your shaking shoulders were from devastation and not because you were laughing too.

"No, Kyle, I just thought I'd go to a hair dresser and admire everyone else's hairdos," you retort once you've recollected yourself.

"Thought you were bald," Simon muses.

"Right back at you, Skull Face."

"I'm sure it looks good, sergeant," Price encourages as he takes the receipt from Simon, inspecting the details.

"At least someone appreciates my efforts unlike the rest of you."

"How about we appreciate it more then, bonnie?" Johnny leans in mischievously. "Take that mask off. Show us how good it looks."

"Actually, I- uh... I got my hair treated. Need to keep this mask on, let it set, you know?"

Kyle tilts his head.

"That's not how it works-?"

"I've been waiting for this bit!" You exclaim as you point at the television screen. Kyle shakes his head with a smile before joining you on the couch, opposite to Johnny. Simon and John also situate themselves around the room, far enough for personal distance but close enough to still take part in conversations, and it's now a typical off-day for the 141. They may not be able to see your face - nor your improved hair - for now, but perhaps one day they'll be graced with the sight. For now, these antics around base will suffice.

Call of Duty Navigation Masked Reader Masterlist

[thekingofwinterblog]

Man I wish your MHA prediction came true, cause, no spoilers, but the truth is so bad😂

atleast its finallly over... never reading a series when it hasnt finished serialisation again😂

It's not even a BAD manga ending... i have seen BAD manga endings before, i know how they look like.

No, what MHA's final chapter is, is a NOTHING Ending. An ending where it is so, PAINFULLY obvious that the Mangaka or his editor did not want to piss anyone off, or take risks in general, that for a whole host of characters, there is NO closure, or even worse, it negates what came before.

so, its not like there is nothing good about the chapter, as i like shoji's big declaration, and the fact that japans society is changing to help people deal with the quirks withouth having to become heroes... but other than that, even the stuff i liked had major caveats.

But by far the biggest issue is that there are so many characters who got NO closure for their respective relationships, and it is stupidly obvious why, and who.

and since this question was prompted by Aizawa and his development, lets start with mic and Aizawa.

This picture right here encapsulates how Aizawa has changed. This is where he was always planned to end up. It is his natural end point compared to where he started off his story. Having turned into a much more caring man, who helped Aoyama rise above his flaws and change for the better rather than the brutal and spartan teacher he was at the start.

Or as his Ex Girlfriend would have put it has learned the value of "A household where the laughter never ends.".

However, the problem is we get no chapter, or even an ATTEMPT at giving him any form of closure where this change is encapsulated, the way we got with Endeavor, spinner, and Uraraka.

And thats a problem, because it wasnt ONLY hjis character who was tied to this hypotetical chapter for closure.

The closure of the ENTIRE idiot trio from the previous generation, alive and dead was dependent upon whatever Hori had planned for this hypotetical epilogue chapter before he or his editor chickened out, leaving Kurogiri's death in the climax with NO sense of aftermath behind it, coming and going, and frankly feeling like an aftertought rather than the sad ending to the tragic tale of the man who died too soon.

It also leaves Mic the single worst off, because while Aizawa at the very least had his character development to fall back on as a final point, even if he didnt get a closure chapter or moment, Mic gets NOTHING.

and that's a big problem, because as im going to go over in my big analysis of the man, Mic's entire deal is that while Aizawa developed in a terrible, negative reaction to his buddy's death, Mic's reaction was to stop developing at all.

His entire life after the tragedy is being a background character in everyone else's life, the DJ who always tries to make everyones day brighter, but has no actual ambitions, dreams or goals of his own.

thats why he clings so desperately to his memories of highschool, because unlike everyone else from that time, those memories are all he has. Even Aizawa managed to have a girlfriend at some point, an actual relationship, that though it crashed and burned had meaning. Mic doesnt even have that.

He is the ultimate sad clown, who pretends to himself that he hasnt wasted his life, by embracing a role as a literal supporting character, that his teachers suggested he would turn out to be.

In other words, his role in a chapter dealing with the epilogue of the trio, would certainly have been to finally, actually begin living his own life again.

but withouth that, there is nothing to suggest he managed to change. he will just continue to waste his life, thinking he'll never be able to create great new times for himself, rather than actually living his life and making new, best moments of his life.

i might be more annoyed about Aizawa not getting that final closure with Miss Joke, but there is no questions that Mic got an even worse deal with the narrative than Aizawa.

He remained a background character to the very end.

he's not the only one though.

You know who else never got closure? The Iida brothers.

We NEVER got to see how Tensei reacted to his brother not only taking up his mantle, but actually surpassing him and all his deeds during the climax.

Tenya's great ambition was to become a great hero to live up to his brother, and we didnt get to see any of his family members reaction to him actually achieving this dream.

As for other members of class 1-A...

Hey, quick question for anyone who read this story, Did you think Mina and Kirishima's character stories ended with these two, small, not given very much importance panels?

No?

Well fuck you, youre wrong! this is where both of their characters ends. their relationship, and their character arcs in general ended here, and they get no closure whatsoever.

and finally we move unto Izuku and the bigger problem with him and where he ended up.

Starting with him becoming a non powered hero, using tech.

Okay, not a BAD ending... But i feel like... maybe... there was a plan for something with that. Maybe... Maybe something that happened, and would have eased his character into using tech, rather than All Might just showing up with it after he's been a salary man for 3 years... Maybe something that was foreshadowed for years, and years.... Oh right.

Izuku losing his lower arms.

Like, looking back, it is painfully clear that Izuku was originally meant to lose his arms for good, before the editor(as he did with bakugo's death) put the kibash on that.

I like the idea... but there was a much better and more logical road to him becoming Iron Man with him having to use robotic hands in the epilogue. it would also be the logical outcome of all that foreshadowing, and was probably the original idea before it was deemed too gruesome.

However, thats a missed what if.

And if you have read the final chapter, you know it's not the BIG issue with this chapter. The SINGLE biggest problem with this ending, that is going to haunt it forever afterwards.

The complete sinking of Izuku x ochako by making it clear izuku has no regular contact with his former classmates, and ending the story withouth anything to suggest these two hooked up at all.

Now, im going to be very blunt, and very clear, before i tear this entire ship sinking to bits.

I didn't like Izuku x ochako.

At all.

I thought it was boring, too drawn out, and i didnt find much enjoyment as a ship from their interactions. in fact i would say i found izuku to have better chemistry with pretty much every other female character he ever interacted with.

Izuocha is the epitomy of a safe shonen battle couple. pure, boring vanilla.

I want to get that out of the way, before i really delve into why the way Hori just... torpedoed this ship because he didnt want to deal with the aftermath, was such a slap in the face.

Lets start with the most obvious problem.

It was all a waste of time.

every single moment of shiptease, and uraraka pining after izuku...

was one...

gigiantic...

Waste of fucking time.

I didnt like reading about this couple. But i cannot make the claim the story was not building up towards it.

it spent the vast majority of it's story building towards this couple, and in the last 3 chapters it devoted two of them to seemingly resolving this couple's story, and setting up for the next step... that never fucking came.

meaning that every little bit of ship tease these two had was a joke, a waste of time, it didnt mean anything in the grand scheme of things.

It was one of the most annoying parts of this manga to read through, and to my absolute fury and disguist i was fucking -vindicated.

It was an objective, waste of fucking time that could have been devoted to ANYTHING ELSE! It could have been devoted to another, better pairing, more character development for 1-A, Inko, the league of Villains, ANYTHING!

If the story was not going to end up with these two, there were plenty of ways to do that too, like having Uraraka's decision not to confess backfire as izuku moved on and hooked up with Mei, or melissa, or anyone else! or maybe just have izuku have moved past her an her ending up being friendzoned because she didnt make a move early enough! Or maybe have Uraraka realize she was gay after everything with Toga!

Again, ANYTHING ELSE would have been preferable.

instead, even at the very end, even when the following pages kills the pairing dead, Hori STILL tries to shipbait these two!

fuck off.

2. Making Urarak look shallow through the worst fucking timing in the world.

so, here is a question for you.

if you were going to ultimately choose not to go through with izuku x ochako, when would be the worst, possible timing to do it?

because i sure cant think of any point worse, than during a timeskip, where izuku's quirk ultimately went away, leaving him powerless and a common working man for 3 years afterwards.

Now this is obviously not meant to be the actual reason in universe for why this pairing didnt happen... but the implication is there...

And it wouldnt have been, if Hori had actually had Izuku turn her down in one of the previous chapters.

but because he decided to chicken out of any and all romance to not get any shipper blowback, through the safest way possible, it's there.

It's ugly, and it's cruel, and it's mostly implication... but it is there.

3. It makes Uraraka's entire character growth with Toga WASTED.

So Toga's part of her and Uraraka's storyline is obvious.

The girl who was looking for someone, anyone who would want to understand her finally found somebody who would, and she decided to give it all for that person.

in uraraka, she finally got what she could not get in the league, amongst her old friends, or anyone else.

No the problem is not with that side of their shared development.

The problem with this is that it completely wastes Uraraka's side of this equation.

The thing that Uraraka envied about Toga, was her ability to smile as she wanted, uncaring about how the world might think of her, something the shy uraraka deeply wished she could do too.

Ultimately, as presented in the final war arc, her develoment from this relationship was her finally learning to be honest, to embrace doing what she wanted to do.

She wanted to reach out a genuine hand in compassion to Toga despite EVERYTHING, and so she did. uncaring about what the world might have thought.

FInally she could be who she wanted to be. the girl who had been defined so long about keeping her love and more emberassing feelings under wrap no longer cared about being judged for them.

It's a very beautiful moment.

Man... It sure would SUCK if later uraraka completely backtracked, was never able to tell her crush her actual feelings, and instead it went absolutely nowhere, meaning she reverted back to the same person she had always been. that she never really grew past this flaw of herself she disliked.

That would really, really suck, and cheapen her entire character climax from the final war arc.

Man, that would suck.

It would suck even more, if the reason that happened, was due to the author not wanting to piss off the shippers that shipped the target of her affection with his former abuser and bully who tried to get him to kill himself.

This was a terrible way to end the series, not due to directly sucking, the way Attack on Titan, or bleach's endings did... but instead due to committing SO HARD to resolving NOTHING, that it flipped all the way around to being INFURIATING in how much it REFUSED to give ANY character who's final resolution would probably have involved shipping, that its pisses you off, because it means that everything that these characters were building towards had no resolution.

The only real exception was Iida, and in his case its just obviously clear that Hori just did not care to give him a climax. for everyone else though?

Hori's decision to not wanting to go through what Kishimoto went through after Naruto's final chapter might be understandable, but it also means that his already rocky final arc ended wastly lesser in quality than it could have.

[7smiles]

Analyzing Alex and Eric's Relationship

I talked about Alex kissing Eric and their sexual encounter as purely a "last hurrah," but I have to wonder if he was imitating what he'd seen in media, or if he was being tender with Eric in truth, OR if he was giving Eric this affection as a way to put more trust in their relationship. Was he enjoying himself? Maybe Alex indulged because it was Eric's last day- maybe he behaved this way because he knew he'd kill Eric in a very brutal manner. His relationship with Eric is a bit complex to me because part of me feels like he doesn't have feelings for Eric at all, but another part of me feels like its undeniable.

Alex, who I presume is autistic (with symptoms and behavior similar to myself), trusts Eric a lot. Alex is seen to be very particular and likes to stick to his plans and what he knows, he doesn't like messing up. If he didn't feel anything for Eric, then why would he be so comfortable with Eric using his stuff? Being on his bed, playing on his computer, watching things together and not being bothered when Eric asks questions. He holds him by the arms, firm but nervously when they kiss, he obviously trusts him very much. I think, in a way, Alex's feelings for Eric are the only reason he was able to kill him off so easily. You could say that the ease was because he viewed Eric as a pawn like every other victim they gunned down, but maybe the suddenness of killing him was a form of personal mercy.

Eric would have no future after this event- Maybe Alex didnt want Eric to have his name plastered to this event even though he took part. Alex is clearly well educated and intelligent, it doesn't take much to know that if Alex lived and he killed Eric, the media would say Alex manipulated the poor guy (WHICH HE DID). Perhaps part of me wants to see Alex as not truly evil- I know he is a very methodical character and therefore I believe everything he does has intent and purpose.

Alex cared for Eric in very unconventional ways, and its instantly proven through their kiss whether Alex went into it with romantic intent or not. He granted his friend these desires and that in itself is enough to tell us that there is something in Alex's heart.

[imperfection-in-one-human]

The odd one.

Tav x Everyone

Warnings: depressions ; self harming behaviour ; bad english ; bad written lol ; im not good at writing endings ngl ; self doubts ; thoughts about suicide and even mentions ; descriptions of wounds ; teeny tiny bit of fluff ; drama ; angst ; idk poly relationship?

Note: hello everyone who thinks this is gonna be good lol. Its just a little drabble i really wanted to write but thats like my first fic/drabble ever so please be kind :') still i hope you enjoy that small thingy. Also i used they/them as tavs pronouns and theres no specific description to their look. Also there might be typos etc. English is not my native language!

If someone has to describe tav than they would probably take the word "odd". Odd because they were so clumsy that it was nothing new when they tripped over their own feet or stumble right into a trap, indicators where most started to think that they're absolutely not capable of fighting or at least not being good at it. Most would think that they're just gonna stumble into sword, or spells, and call it a day. But, much to everyones suprises, it wasnt like that. Tav was rather good at slaying things, beheading goblins or punch someone so hard that they're loosing foot - they were even good at taking hits until their nose run bloody and their lips were chapped, even bruised. The description of "odd' was perfect for them and still, it seems that there were even more things about them that made them so weird. Not only had they a habit of not treating their wounds probably, no, they also tried to downplay them and saying that they are not as bad as you think it is. Even when shadowheart tried to heal a claffing wound on their arm they just tried to get away from her healing spell - something about "dont waste it in me shadowheart, keep it until someone really needs it. Wyll got wounded too". It was weird but no one really questioned it, they shoved it onto the fact that tav was indeed a very selfless person. Always trying to do something good or even trying to give most of their being to people so that they didnt have to suffer - may it be a healing potion, a weapon or even the safe space behind a wall. Tav would always give up things like that, taking hits for every companion they got ans smile at them afterwards with reassuring words because "it doesnt hurt that much! Dont you worry!"

It was only time later when they found out the truth and its all because of that artist. Someone who they thought they're never gonna see ever again but here he was with a ghost in front of him and said ghost was just so mad at him that everyone was ready again to fight but instead they got to hear the whole story and when the ghost said why she was dead tavs eyes got dull for a second.

A second where it felt as if the ocean crashed right onto them, waves of unspoken sadness and a hidden longing no one wanted a admit, tidal waves who threaten to consume every last single bit of them, swallowing them whole and keeping them right into their embrace. It was as if someone spoke the right words for a curse to be lifted, a lingering curse everyone knew that it existed but no one wanted to admit. It was only then where everyone kind of knew why tav did things the way they did, why they never quite let their wounds heal or reopening them again in a battle. Why they never quite cared enough about themself to even try to heal anything about them. Why they never really took onto the pretty words everyone said to them in and out of camp, why they shied away from any ounce of love even though every single one loved them with such a burning passion that it would burn them and they would happily accept it. They would love to crumble under that heat and still they never really got it, of course they exchanged small little affecrionate gestures like hugs, cuddles or kisses on the cheek but it never seemed to go further than that. They knew that their tav was in shatters and pieces, still they tried to but them back together.. it just seemed that they never quite made it. As if it they were million miles away even though tav was right infront of them. Still that didnt stopped any of them to express their love for their leader, there was still hope that one day they would get into that broken little heart. Maybe they just needed time? Maybe love wouldnt heal them completely?

Maybe everything came into a full picture right here and then even though it was just a small second. After that incident everyone went back to camp where the inevitable came - all of them wanted to know what was going on but no one really dared to ask. It was such a delicate topic, they were scared that their beloved leader would built up even more walls, what they didnt know was the fact how much tavs heart ached - how much they yearned for the love they could have and even the relationship what was right infront of them. The only thing holding them back was fear. Fear that every single of them would see them as they see themself. That they would leave them with their heart in their hands and crush it like fallen leaves from a tree. They were so love and touched starved sometimes it felt like they were going crazy! They wanted all of this to be real and still there was a small voice in their heads telling them that they deserved none of this, that they are not important enough that someone would even care when they were gone. Just died in a battle or got swept away from the absolute. That all of them just love them because they were travelling together and as soon as the journey ends they going seperate ways. Astarion would live the life he wanted, karlach would get her own small home again, laezel fullfilling her wish of ascending, wyll roaming the coast, gale going back to tara and his tower, shadowheart living with her parents and halsin going back into the shadowlands so he can be with his old and beloved friend. That sounded real. That sounded like it would happen and not their little dream of living with them until death itselfs collects them. Still.. they dreamed about that little fantasy everyday, selfishly wanting that and nothing more. Just living in peace with every person they love.. then why does their heart hurt so much as soon as they're showing love for them? Is it too good to be true? Were they scared? Probably everything of the above.

So they really needed to talk to them all of them. And they're gonna do that, letting all of them into that broken heart of theirs and allowing themself to be happy?

... maybe if they let a little bit of sunshine into their pierced heart they may allow themself to dream a little longer with the. To accept the love they wanted to give. Maybe it wasnt such a bad wish after all?

[mamayura]

About the notebook

The thing about the London special that just isnt letting me go is that Marinette only made sure that her name isnt in the new villain's notebook, but all the other information the villain collected she left untouched.

For as questionable as Marinette's web of lies she tells the world are, at least there you can see the attempt of keeping it consistent to prevent as best as possible that her lies are discovered. But all of that goes out of the window by only caring about her name in the notebook and not what else this person now knows. Cause its A LOT.

Marinette lies to the world to make Gabriel out to be a hero, but leaves the new villain with the information that Gabriel was Hawkmoth. Sure, we already knew by the time of Emotion that Cerise knows that Gabriel is Monarque, but Marinette doesnt know this. Marinette didnt even try to cover up Gabriel's secret, so I have a hard time felling bad for Marinette when this will inevitably go wrong. Cause it SHOULD.

Or that Marinette at the press conference lied that she has no idea what Hawkmoth wanted to wish for. This can easily be revealed as a lie through Chrysalis (if that's really Cerise's butterfly name) and have at least part of the public turn against Ladybug for a then... not really invalide reason anymore the more of Ladybug's lies get revealed.

It's almost ironic, Marinette in the London special was so busy making up this convoluted and unnecessary web of lies that'll only harm her in the long run, that she completely ignored that the person she was supposed to deceive by hiding the truth was the new villain. Not the world.

Marinette did it the wrong way around. The people she wasnt supposed to lie to, she lied to. But the person she was supposed to deceive she left to keep all the information to ruin everyone's lives, beside the most obvious one for the current problem.

Marinette even reads out loud from the notebook that the new Butterfly wrote down that it was TOMOE who wanted Kagami and Adrien spared from her and Gabriel's villain plan, no mentioning that Gabriel tried protecting his son which contradicts Marinette's story.

I dont know if Marinette just assumes that this person can reveal the truth however she likes and Marinette as Ladybug will just claim something else everytime because she knows that most people will blindly believe Ladybug, but that's... that is awful. It would mean that Marinette and Cerise are now officially switching roles in their previous dynamic and now CERISE is the one trying to out the liar - just on a global fucking scale and with Ladybug having immense power and influence through her status that warrants seeing her as a threat for doing this.

I hope with all my heart that this is not what's gonna happen, but I do fear it will. Cause no, I will not support Marinette in such harmful hypocrisy. If this is what's gonna happen, then Marinette is the bad guy here and she should be exposed as liar just as she fought to expose Lila for WAY less. You cannot pull that and expect me to be on Marinette's side. No, she wont be the villain, but she wont be the good guy either just because she says so.

[gamblersdoll]

PUT MY NAME ON IT, NOW IT DESIGNER 6

angst, hurt to slight fluff, violence and graphic imagery.

“i didnt do shit.” hakari seethed, his hands scrambling for a good reason he was on the spot. he couldnt understand how it had happened, how possibly he had the money but had no transfers from your account to his or vice versa.

“well, how is it in your account!?” you seethed back. sinji had been long gone, which did make you question him, but you were more focused on hakari.

“i told you, i dont know girl!” he shouted, pacing back and forth and in circles.

you were growing tired. so torn in between believing him or giving him the benefit of doubt. a part of you chanted the fact that he had taken money or manipulated you into giving him some money when you were vulnerable, making it hard for his truth. and another part whispered about the past few months he had spent with you, the dates he took you on, the happiness you hadnt felt with sinji, everything. how could you believe him when your money was infact in his bank account ? how could you not believe him and it was a mistake on the transfers end?

you had been in your head for too long, and that worried hakari too much.

“hello?!” he shouted, snapping his fingers in your face. yes you hated when he did that outside of sex, but you needed that snap back to reality. “i didnt touch your money, babydoll. im way past that, dont you realize that?” he asked, tilting his head and looking at you to hope that you came to your senses.

you looked away from him, holding your arms and sighing deeply. you couldnt decide whether or not to believe him. you should believe him! but what if he actually did take the money? what if he didnt? if he didnt, then who did? would you have to start over? what about hakari?

“for now, just leave kinji.” you said, keeping your voice low and gaze away from him. you were definitely shaking, shaking with anxiety and fear, and deep regret. you dont know what exactly you regretted, but that emotion was just present.

hakari sucked his teeth, grabbing his jacket and then you in a fit. he grabbed you ahold by your arm, pulling to his stature and looked down at you. you felt scared for only a glimpse, knowing he isnt the type to beat on women, yet you got startled.

“when i prove this shit false, its gon be me and you.” he said, with somewhat malice and he gritted his eyebrows together. you and him? you wouldnt understand what his version of that was.

and he left without a second glance, slamming the door behind him. he was pissed, most definitely. pissed wasnt the word to use, seething, he was practically melting with rage and revenge. because he wasnt that kind of boy no more that would do that shit. he was grown, grown and well financially capable of taking care of himself, you, and certainly much more. so the fact he was even accused of theft from you drove him absolutely mad.



and the weeks of not talking to kinji were pure fucking hell. you wanted to reach out, you had to. you could actually say that you missed him, contrary to what you would verbalize. you couldnt land a finger on what had happened. and the truth could be right in front of you. hell, you know its some shit when even maki or panda were shocked– especially panda, since hakari was supposedly to exploit him.

and the house was no better. you were alone, but by choice. sinji of course would reach out to you and talk as if nothing had happened, as if he didnt just cause discord between you, him, and kin. you didnt want sinji, you wanted hakari, more than anything. you made the bed, you need to lie in it.

New notification!

you sprung out of your chair, hoping and praying to the gods it was hakari, your hakari, hoping he had texted you about seeing him, anything to show he was innocent like you wanted him to be.

“Sinji: what you wearin? 👀”

you groaned, throwing your head back and choosing to not reply. maybe you wouldnt talk to hakari ever. maybe that was the end of your chapter.

or so you thought.

it was maybe around one in the morning, you slowly drifting to sleep and having just binged watched some show that was trendy.. what was it? love is blind? you got ran the fuck over with that statement. but you felt your phone go off, groaning in annoyance and opening your phone. your heart shot up.

New notification!

“hakari: link @ that coffee shop you like first thing, dont keep me waiting.”

and you didnt keep him waiting, tapping your thumbs together and tapping your foot. he was sitting across from you, not even looking but you can tell he had maybe finally calmed down, he was unreadable at this time.

“hakari i-“ you started, but he interrupted you by putting his hand up, pausing you before you even started. you almost swatted his hand away, just from natural reaction, but you caught it before he caught you. he whipped his phone out, opening his transaction history and having you read it. “read that shit back to me.”

you read it slow, analyzing and gazing at everything. and you had never felt more confused or just slow.

“… what does any of this mean, kin?” you asked, failing to see the bigger picture or maybe you were just slow with a capital “s”.

“hard transaction deposit.” he repeated back, folding his arms together and looking at you. “that means that a third party went into your account, took your money, transferred it to my account, and was using a burner.” he said, he always did his best to not mansplain things but it was needed.

“okay, so.. was it any of your boys?” you asked, “because didnt you transfer money to me when we started talking again?”

“did i send it, or did i take money?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “i have the option to send and transfer money to you, not take it out. and using last time isnt a good excuse ‘cause you sent it to me. neva had the option to take yo money straight from the accounts.”

“okay, thats true, ill give you that..” you said, chewing on your thumb nail, and causing hakari to move your hand away from your mouth. and receiving a ‘stop biting your nail, mama,’ “then who did?”

“the burner traces back to sinji, obviously.” he said, rolling his eyes and sucking his teeth. “the dumbass forgot about IP addresses and shit. i didn’t expect you to know cause numbers dont go good with you.” he jabbed, but thats just how he was. he wasn’t being a dick, though. he just knew the truth.

“im sorry-“

“oh, you will be.” he paused you again, giving a small smile. that scared the shit out of you, the whole saying of ‘fuck around find out’ shit from him.

“hakari chill out!” you said, but one of his clients holding their hand out in front of you to stop you in your tracks, shaking his head at you.

your current position? watching your.. ex? sneaky link? side man? hakari pounding his fist into sinji’s jaw and focusing only on that. sinji wasnt looking too hot.. shit , when did he ever? he was all bruised and purple, also soaked in blood from his broken nose and limp jaw that was clearly dislocated. this had gone on for at least ten minutes. and everyone knew that it was done now, you question how he was able to take a beating like that from hakari.

but for hakari, for one good last blow, stomped his shoulder blade in, hearing a crunch and sinji writhing in pain.

“ill but you a new carpet tomorrow, yall–“ he pointed at the clientele he had hired for his fight club, and shooing them out. “yall leave but be round at arms reach.” he said. “you.” he pointed at you, beckoning his finger at you, “cmere.” and you had no choice to.

“hak-“

“unt unt, no talking, you gon listen to this shit.” he said, putting a hand on your back and one around your throat softly. “you my girl now, no more sinji, in fact he gon watch me while i fuck you.” he said, gritting his eyebrows together and nibbling at your throat. “you and me.” he growled softly. “i fucken love you.”

you cant get a chance to respond, but you were already on your back while he was gripping at your clothes. it made you aroused, not lying to yourself. you needed this, because sinji hadnt dicked you down, and can never now.

“and bitchboy over here is going to hear, and watch me fuck my girl, whether he likes it or not.”

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

a short story where sugarboo comes home with a new back and spine tattoo done out of straight impulse.

My impulsiveness told me to do it-

I was trying to figure out what back and spine tattoos Boo might get. Idk how tattoos work so bare w me.

Uuuhhh implied suggestive stuff at end bc someone now. Backshots (not Auron's sadly) goes crazy w back n spine tattoos

So this is what I think would be cool!

Boo felt tired and sore, but the tattoo's they got made them really happy. When passing the new tattoo shop, they just HAD to get it.

The beautiful spine detail and bones made them remember of a cryptic Seth told them about. The color made them think of Alphonse's hair in dark mode and normal mode.

Boo was really surprised how fast the tattoo artist got these done. With a few breaks in between, Boo was able to become friends with most of the tattoo artists. Saying they'd bring any baked goods they want if they ever come to Sugarboo's bakery.

Pulling up to the house, Boo saw their boys chatting. Seth who was working on his motorcycle in the garage waved at Boo. Alphonse who had his back turned, whipped his head and gave a big smile.

"There you are Boo!" Greeting his partner, he opened the driver side door. Giving him a quick thanks Boo slowly got out and hissed a bit.

Their new tattoo was still a but sore but, the tattoo artists told them how to take care of it correctly. Even selling Sugarboo products since it was the only place that sold them.

"You alright Sugar? Is your back hurting again from bending over?" Gently asking, Seth wiped his hands as he walked up to the other two. Shaking their head Boo laughed awkwardly, his do they explain this.

"So I got a surprise right?" These words made Alphonse and Seth look at them. The pinkeete peaked into he car, and quirked a brow.

"Really? What is it?" Asking Boo, Alphonse went to the passenger side door and opened it. Grabbing the bad with a curious look, Seth came closer to Sugarboo.

"Yeah, usually you dont give surprises unless its-" Trying to connect the dots, Seth was interrupted by Alphonse gasping. Pointing at Boo who gave him a sheepish smile.

"YOU GOT A TATTOO??" Shouting he came to them quickly. And began asking if they were okay, along with if they needed anything.

"Yup! So, uh surprise?" Questioning themselves, they saw Seth sigh and give them a look. One they usually get when they do something really impulsive without telling them.

"Sugar, we could have helped you get into the car and drive you here- Al, calm down." Snapping slightly, Seth looked at the pastel punk who was looking at the receipt

"Boo, I love you but a back and spine tattoo done on the same day?? Babe, that must hurt like hell!" Worried Alphomse started looking them over. Boo chuckled feeling guilty but Seth patted Al's back.

"Let Sugar talk." Sternly saying, the pinkeete paused and then looked at his partner. Sugarboo gave Seth a thankful look before starting to explain.

"I always wanted one and because theres a new tattoo place I decided to get it done! I didnt work today and I thought why not?" Telling the truth, both men nodded listening. It was true Boo was sad they'd have to take like a long time off since the closes tattoo artist was in the city. But now since people are coming here theres different shops now.

"Okay, we understand. But still, ya could have told one of us or gotten someone to help ya get home." Chiding Seth came forward helping Boo to the house. Alphonse followed carring the bag and would help but ask.

"What does it look like?" Asking his partner, who smirked and giggled a bit. This caught both of the attentions.

"You'll see soon once its healed~" Implying something dirty, Al snorted and Seth shook his head. Sugarboo wanted to say that was able a reason why they wanted it. Since their backshots were gonna go wild now-

[logbush]

quinn & r holding hands because theres a crowd but not letting go when they get out of it theyre each other’s crushes so like friends to lovers if you can

Jealousy, Jealousy

1221 words

kinda fluff, kinda angst

quinn fabray x reader

A/n: i tried to expand on this idea, i hope it works well for you!

you sat next to quinn in your physics class. she was scribbling away on her notebook, not caring about what the teacher had to say. you were watching her closely, admiring all of her features. her soft, pillowy skin. her soft golden hair pulled back to a ponytail. you were quickly snapped out of thought when quinn turned her head to look at you “you know, i can feel when you’re staring at me” she whispered with a smile so the teacher wouldn’t notice your conversation. you shook your head with a grin, “i wasn’t staring at you” you tried to cover yourself “i was looking out the window behind you” she turned to look at the window, “no you weren’t” she looked back at you. you just shook your head with a smile.

~

you walked down the hall, everywhere you looked you saw a hundreds of posters of prom. another reminder that you had no one to go with. of course, you wanted to go with quinn, and not just as friends. you wanted to dance with her and kiss her proudly. quinn however, was up for queen with finn hudson, quarterback. “y/n!” a voice echoed as the blonde walked down the halls, people clearing her way like she was parting the red sea. you quickly turned around with a smile “whats up q?” you asked. she stood next to you, “will you help me hang up more posters later?” you gave her a tight lipped smile before nodding “sure” you replied.

quinn furrowed her brows at you “whats wrong?” she questioned. you shook your head “nothings wrong” the blonde didnt take this for an answer “you’re not telling the truth” you pinched her cheeks with a smile, something you two always did when one of you was sad. “im okay q, ill see you later” quinn smiled at your action, “okay, ill see you later” she said as she walked towards the direction of her next class, slightly swaying her hips.

you walked to your locker and got out your books you need for your next class. your locker slammed shut, making you jump at the sound. “we need to talk” santana said. you looked at her, confused “what do we have to talk about?” you questioned “you like quinn, its obvious,” you blushed at this “i need to make brittany jealous, you need to make her jealous” you quickly cut her off “why would i need to make quinn jealous?” you questioned her “the same reason i need to make brittany jealous, to get her in your arms, now” she put her finger up “dont interrupt me again,” she paused for a few moments before continuing “heres my plan, we run for prom king and queen, brittany runs into my arms and quinn runs into yours” santana paused to see if you needed anything clarified “but were both girls?” santana groaned “that doesnt matter, but one of us is going to have to run for king” she paused with a smug look on her face “and that is going to be you” you shrugged “cool, tell me if i need to do anything else” you said before walking off.

~

you were sat in your living room, reading a book on your couch before loud knocking from the door interrupted your thoughts. you sighed and put your book down before standing up and walking to the door. the knocking didnt stop until you opened the door. a certain blonde was stood still, her brows furrowed with her other hand on her hip. “whats up lucy q?” you only used this name in private, as you know that quinn didnt want anyone knowing about her past.

“you’re running from prom court with santana?” she yelled. you looked around before walking outside and closing the door. “whats wrong with that?” you questioned. the blonde scoffed “she’s just using you to make brittany jealous!” she didnt lower her volume “whatever, even is she is at least have someone to go with!” you matched her tone.

quinn knew this was a dig at her. you two used to go to everything together, it didnt matter what. she looked stunned “im sorry, i shouldn’t have-“ quinn cut you off with her finger “save it” she said as she walked back to her car. you wanted to chase her, but you knew she would just push you away if you tried.

~

prom night quickly approached. you and santana had gotten ready together, her in a bright red dress, you in a suit with a bright red tie to match. “i think our plan is already working” you said softly. she looked at you sadly “quinn get pissed?” she asked walking towards you. you nodded before wrapping your arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. the latina was shocked by your affection before wrapping her arms tight around you. “this will all work out, i promise” she reassured.

~

you sat at a table, watching as santana danced with brittany. your head was pounding like crazy, and not to mention the crowd of people you had to walk through to even get a glimpse at the girl you where here for. you put your head down on the table and tried to block out the loud sound from the speakers with your hands. you stayed like this until you felt a warm hand rubbing up and down your back “i can always sense when you’re in pain” you hear a familiar voice and shot up, causing you to groan in pain. quinn looked down at you before taking your hand and pulling you out of the gymnasium. she stopped after you were pulled into a far hallway, attempting to block any sound that could've came from the gym.

you looked at her and sighed. the blonde girl in front of you put a hand on your cheek, not letting go of your hand with her other. “why’d you go for prom court with her?” she questioned. you sighed “she said that if we went for prom court it would make you and brittany jealous” quinn raised an eyebrow “why did you want to make me jealous” you could see her lips start curling back into a smile before she stopped herself. you ignored this before taking a deep breath “i like you a lot quinn, like a lot a lot, more than friends” her smile took over her face before she moved her hand on your cheek and grabbed the back of your neck. she pulled you closer before pressing her lips onto yours. you were stunned for a moment before kissing her back.

you two stayed in this position before pulling away once air was a necessity. quinn smiled at you once you opened your eyes. “i guess our little plan worked huh y/n” santana appeared from the the corner of your eye. brittany stood behind her “dang it! now i owe lord tubbington 20 dollars!” quinn laughed at the girl before pulling you by her hand, which she must’ve been holding for at least 5 minutes now. “call us if one of us wins but im gonna take y/n home” the blonde said beginning to walk with you out of the building.

“oh i guess my plan worked a little too well huh?”

[supermaks]

max released his very own verstappie all-time win list, i must get your analysis 🔎

Omfg tastyyy ok heres Max's picks for his top 10 wins according to his latest red bulletin and transcribed by the awesome @tyrannosaurus-maxy , lets check if they feature in the verstappie rewatch

spain, 2016 ✅ mexico, 2018 ❌ ((analysis: a classic maxiel shootout that I wud have included if not for format limits and my pick of china, 2017. although very cunty of him to pick this as a crucial victory in his career, because it was a proper 'u wont win while I'm here' send off.)) austria, 2019 ✅ germany, 2019 ❌ ((analysis: ok I get it because that race was like .. netflix's drive to survive live action so to come out of it p1 is a classic max slay. also rip Hockenheim shout out to a real 1 u put the fear of god in those men fr)) 20th anniversary, 2020✅ france, 2021 ❌ ((analysis: entire 2021 season shud be its own verstappie rewatch lets keep it FRESH and TRUTHFUL howevr. I did go wid Emilia Romagna for my pick of the first wins because of what it represented ..dramaturgically. Like imagine the existential horror of knowing Verstappen has the car to challenge u in a classic f1 track on pure pace. Horrifying. But France did start to chip away at the 'average qualifier' myth in the culture and it did show rbr were willing to go freak for freak to dethrone Lewis. Looking back to it , it IS a champion drive from Max at such an early stage of his maiden wdc run, so makes sense it felt like that to him too.)) COTA, 2021 ✅, Spa, 2022 ✅ miami, 2023 ✅ , japan, 2023✅ 

Veredict: verstappie seal of approval. Some new insight particularly into COTA, 2021 which answered a few questions I had about the Silverstone crash and its consequences. Idk if yall ever saw pics of Max's lid after the crash, but the paint on the left side was completely scrapped off. Obvi we knew it the hit was serious enough from his radio, the general state of his car, how he looked climbing out of it, but I truly never expected him to share the full extent of the concussion. This isnt like the cramp or the like the bird he hit that one time, concussions are scary and uncomfortable and we still learning how to deal wid them in sport. Its an ongoing debate between medical responsibility and individual choice and that demands sensitivity and care and often lacks both. Because this time it involves Max and he didnt die, it now invites the worst people in the world to be purposely nasty and disingenuous in their interpretation of what he shared. But I think its important he told us. He shud not have to hide how much a crash like that impacted him, his title run, and what it meant to come out the other side a champion. I always said COTA 2021 is when he went from lil bro to big bro and now I'm sure he feels the same.

[brnest]

So I decided to post my thoughts from AO3 about JJK and how to correct the issues i saw in the next arc. Let me know what you all think.

rant:

I didnt like how gege built up the zenin clan only to throw them away as a plot device for maki's development. I thought the story would take a different turn when megumi was named heir but it felt rushed and extremely contrived, beginning immediately with the round table decision to KILL megumi. I cannot understand why anyone backed this decision. Why would a family that values power, tradition, prestige and inherited techniques so much not just have a duel to decide the leader?

1) It retcons everything we know about the Zenin including Toji's logic for giving megumi away. He knew if megumi had a good technique the family would invest in his development… turned out megumi didn't just have a "good" technique he had THE BEST technique! Toji' concern was never that theyd kill his som but that they'd turn megumi into a POS. Gojo explictly stated that hundreds of years ago a TS and 6E user killed each other in a mock-duel and the 2 families NEVER got over it. So the idea that the zenin would kill a TS user is completely out of the question. Even IF killing Megumi served Naoya, it didnt serve anyone else and goes against the zenins principles.

2)The TS literally puts the zenin on par (or higher) to satoru gojo in terms of strength. With gojo sealed The zenin clan would jet-propel to no1 in jujutsu society, which is what the family WANTS, power and prestige.

3) Megumi canonically had a lot of supporters, so this goes back to my first point that the blowback of killing him wouldve caused mass, internal strife.

4) Maki's massacre. (Ugh...)

So my headcannon is this:

Naoya gets told he isn't gonna be heir and calls the elders to the round table. Since a large portion of the family want megumi as head, naoya issues a challenge/duel on the condition that if naoya wins, megumi becomes an official zenin member but forfeits all rights to ever become clan head (doesnt matter if its on paper or binding vow, point is megumi won't be head). This would enable naoya to stay at the helm, while also boosting the zenins prestige because they'd have the TS under their control. Having a duel would also showcase naoya's talents so he doesnt come off a glass cannon like he did when maki flattens him later to show HER overwhelming strength. This plan makes infinitely more sense to me than what the manga did because it benefits EVERYBODY. Maki wants this. Naoya wants this. And so does the entire clan, because megumi will be a zenin regardless of who wins. It also put megumi in an active role, instead of passive one.

With this simple change, we can explore the characters introduced in the hei unit, tojis backstory/life, mai and makis sisterly bond, megumis leadership acumen, And ofc this would be the perfect time for naoya to reveal the truth about toji: That Satoru gojo is the one who killed him and thats why megumj and tsumiki were alone (in an attempt to turn megumi against satoru).

This change also benefits Maki's character too because after megumi loses, she tells him not to worry because he has enough supporters to drive a split in the clan, so while he can't be head of the zenin he can be head of his OWN faction. (remember this was makis ultimate goal, to have a safe space for mai, thats why she wanted megumi as head in the first place) now I'm skipping details, but ogi catches wind of maki's coup to start a civil war within the clan and throws her in the pits for it (a MUCH better reason to kill her than taking curse tools. I mean maki has been taking curse tools for years and nobody cared!) She becomes toji 2.0 and the story continues along the lines of the canon. Maki still gets her power boost and her revenge on NAOYA's supporters instead of the entire clan so she doesnt come off as a psychopath, and megumi learns the truth. There is even room for potential redemption for naoya should megumi prevent Maki from killing him which eliminates the need for curse naoya (a colossal waste of time)

What do you all think?

[violentviolette]

i think a big part of why people latch onto things like narc abuse and sociopath nonsense is that at the end of the day, they want something easy to blame

when ur abused, the hardest and most difficult thing to confront is why. why did they hurt u? why didnt they love u? why did they do those things and treat u that way? why couldnt they see how much pain u were in? why didnt they care? why why why why

during the abuse, we internalize that why. we think the reason is us. we're just wrong or broken or undeserving or bad. it's our fault they abused us. and so when u finally escape that, its a big and emopowering moment to finally be able to realize that no, we weren't at all the reason. we werent to blame. we didnt do anthing to deserve that.

but then that leaves us once agian with the why. and the uncomfortable truth is that there really isnt a satisfying answer to that question. the why is usually very mundane and doesnt offer a lot of closure. its often just, because they were selfish. because it was the easier thing to do. because they were hurting and took it out on u. because they just couldnt be bothered to care. because they couldnt see past their own defensiveness. because they chose to.

but those aren't satisfying. they dont give closure. people dont want to confront the mundane and human reality that people abuse others for no good reason sometimes. that they were just being human, because abuse is mundane and human. so people try to find some other big universe defining reason. they latch onto things that tell them "this abuse was an immutable force of the universe and no one can do anything about it. these people are inhuman monsters who need to be removed from society" because that kind of absolutism is a much more comforting and easy thought than the reality that sometimes people just choose to be terrible to one another. because that reality means confronting the randomness of tragedy and our powerlessness to stop ourselves from becoming victims. it also means u never have to confront the reality that while someone may have abused u, they can and do go on to love others in healthy and real ways, and they deserve to do that. and that still doesnt at all mean there was something wrong with u or that u deserved what happened.

but those are difficult and uncomfortable things to confront. so in a twist of deep deep irony, they do exactly what their abusers did. they choose the selfish, easy, defensive option. and they take their pain out on other people who dont deserve it and did nothing wrong. they fall into abusive patterns and habits without even realizing it and then become the thing they claim to be fighting so hard against. they refuse to understand and accept the reality of why people hurt others, and thus doom themselves to repeat those same patterns of misbehavior. because when u refuse to view other people as human, u end up becoming the monster ur looking for

[foodtruckery]

hello back for a longer message

i love how ford gets so quietly pleased when stanley listens to him djfhdk its kind of sweet too because i dont think its just alpha instinct for ford. hes actually a pretty caring dude in his own way. hes happy stan is obeying him but theres just as much satisfaction to getting to take care of stan. it just get ties up in his arrogance a lot of the time so it comes out as "ill take care of you so you need to listen to whatever i say" which stan is def not a fan on (though its stan. dudes not a fan of people caring about him in general lol)

also ford staring at stans gold chain disappearing under his collar ford you horndog you are not subtle even though youve convinced yourself you are

and stan stealing fords clothes yesss. god im just imagining stan seeing ford working out, sweating through the sweater, watching him pull it off and let out this sigh of relief (that sits right between stans ears for a while) and dropping it into the dirty hamper. tells himself hes not thinking about it (he is)

you know after this ford gets so much satisfaction out of this later stan likes his scent even deep in a heat (especially deep in a heat) hed probably be poking around stans stuff when he thinks the man isnt looking to find anymore clothing stashes or maybe even starting his own. stan probably cant wear a lot of fords clothes because of their body differences but i could def see ford putting on stans undershirt underneath his sweater so he can smell like stan

god the mention of ford getting freaked out ough. i wonder if stan has tried to pretend he forgot to do some chore to get out of it - only for ford to give him this badly disguised distressed look and stan immediately feels like an asshole

and ohh boy the scent change. ford obsessed with it and has no idea why YESSSS i love how ford doesnt really question why he wants to crowd stan and pin him down because hes like "oh its instincts thats all" but you know his ass just wants to have stan

do you think stan has figured out by this point that hes going into heat? is that why he asks for space? realizes "well shit. this is happening" and runs away (because his go to is flight always before fight if given the opportunity) or is he still just as blind to the truth as ford is

god im wondering how all of this would go down if stan HADNT gone into heat. if he had just had the scent change gradually like the slow transition he was aiming for. because despite what stan would believe ford would NOT let this go. if anything it might be worse because hed be pressing his advantage wherever he could and try to excuse his behavior with "oh well im an alpha and its instinctual" and stan would get so fed up over it theyd again fight about it and then fuck about it

finally the magnus opus. the climax (in more ways than one) ohhh my GOD stan fucking BEGGING and ford losing his mind a little bit more with every single please dude didnt even HESITATE

honestly you are so fucking right if stan had shown up in heat 30 years ago when ford called him it would not have ended well. you really hit home how fucking OBSESSED ford is with this fantasy and stan is playing into every single bit of it without realizing it (GETTING OFF ON FORDS BED AAAAAAA)

ford is such a little freak though and its so apparent in every thing he does in this scene. cataloguing every reaction, running his hands over stan, fingering him until he comes just from that (just because he can, just because its an option he has, stans in heat he'll be like this for a while ford can enjoy this) talking all gently to him and being a little bit bossy on top of that because he knows stan wont fight him on it oughghghfh YOU ARE KILLING ME

also this line "He'd have to settle for physical evidence until Stan was capable of being interviewed properly." ford you little loser you aint fooling no one just go fuck your brother and maybe you'll calm down

i can already tell stan's gonna have a WILD heat because ford is gonna be pressing his advantage whenever he can. he may as well have pounced on stan when he got down there with how quick he was to use this opportunity for himself. hes literally already thinking about how he can fuck stan over and over now just like hes always wanted ohhh mY GODDDDDD

(and why do i keep thinking about ford trying out different things on stan now. fisting him at one point, forcing stan to describe how his knot feels before he gives it to him again, going faster and harder so stan is screaming into the sheets, slowing down so he can hear the wetness slicking his way, everything and anything he can think of and can get away with.)

and man. when stan finally comes back to himself hes gonna be so angry at himself and the situation and ashamed and embarrassed he might not even be considering too closely how ford behaved during his heat. either chalks it up to hormones or maybe his heat-brain skewing the details a bit so while ford is over there like "I WINNN I WINN THANK YOU UNIVERSE FINALLY" stan is considering if faking his death a second time is a plausible option

finally this whole ending bit:

"Good boy," Ford growled, kissing Stan's wet cheek and his temple and savoring the way he shuddered and whimpered as he pulled his fingers free. Getting his zipper down was enough of a relief to make him groan again. "Let's get you a knot." 

do you hear that? its me screaming from the grand canyon echoing across the planet. ford is SAVORING this. he is SAVORING stan he is sooo fucking happy right now AND!! AND!!! "LET'S GET YOU A KNOT" FUCK YOU THAT HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK

ford is such a condescending little shit that is usually annoying and bitchy of him but its weirdly so hot in bed and lowkey i think stan would agree

fords gonna be getting stan a knot as often as he needs (maybe even more often)

thank you so much again for the treat im chowing down on this candy bar

-🐶

🐶 you did NOT HAVE TO double up on messages but i am SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT and aaaagggggh both of your messages were so kind! ngl full on obsessed with the idea of ford wearing around stan's shirts cause yeah yeah absolutely (stole that for the other trick or treat thing cause how could i not?) i think stan had maybe not quite figured it out when he went to get some time to himself, but he knew he needed to be alone (cause that's what he's always done with his heats, right? go and find somewhere he can lock himself up until it's safe to come up again. that's just part of the process whether he realizes it or not). but then he gets down there, starts dragging out ford's clothes and holy fuck it's too hot and ooooh shit. that's not good.

it will be several days probably before they come up for air.

[joelletwo]

wrestling with the 4devas bitchslap again to convince myself its fine if graveyard wins the best ep tourney: it's not the other bloggers who are wrong, it's me

not a complete response to but definitely in conversation with and asking some of the same questions again as @reductionisms's 4devas essay, which tries to square gintoki's "life doesn't need to be fun, i just need you to live" being a series-sanctioned message he's given to villains as an arc-concluding moral continuously up until 4devas with it here being an incorrect worldview that needs to be (physically) corrected by shinpachi, the straightman tonal signpost of gintama

a conflict i have been perplexed by ever since i got to this line on my first watch a year or two ago, since i've seen this line before! all over fandom! as part of the general "dont [bottom text] kill yourself" motivational messaging of gintama that i love!

and, briefly, when i hit 4devas i was also in the middle of being really frustrated by the new arc pattern i was seeing crop up: i loved the villains-turned sympathetic-turned someone worth saving by gintoki tune of the first half of gintama, but it fell massively flat for me in Yoshiwara in Flames, where i was never convinced to be on housen's side but had to watch him get a heartwarming redemptive death at the side of the woman he abused anyways.

then shortly after i had the same exact experience in Red Spider with jiraia, and i thought, if this is what gintama is gonna do with its shitty dudes from now on im gonna quit the fucking show. and then shortly after that i met jirochou and saw him cut down otose the woman he loved (under a raining sky!!! the fucking sky motifs!!! the signpost im about to watch a dude be shittily violent to women and be expected to feel sorry for him about it) and saw too much red to really take in the rest of the arc level-headedly or care about anything in it lol.

so it was written off in my mind as the 'otose almost gets fridged' arc until i rewatched it this week. then i had to remember, oh yeah, there's a ton of political maneuvering fakeouts in this arc that i never actually squared back with how the plot presented itself prior to the reveals, so i'd still been thinking about the "fakeout" plot. then i read the manga version with all the "truths" in mind from the start, and finally i felt like i could understand what this arc is doing a little better.

(way) tldr (4.4k words. sorry): do i love this arc? eh. do i still hate it? eh. but it's doing stuff!

first, i was able to see an echo in all the "actually i was planning to betray you the whole time" "actually i was working to help you the whole time" plot beats of what sorachi does with the larger edo/universe story further into the back half of the manga. if i ever sound like i didnt enjoy or wasnt convinced by the execution of these "reveals," it's because i didnt and wasnt, lol. but it's fun that he had fun with them i guess.

the arc starts with pirako ingratiating herself into yorozuya, then having a classic "bump into you and pretend to be injured to extort you" encounter w her dad's gang. to resolve this without escalating into violence, gintoki... does it back to them, which is really funny. but thus the tone is set for the arc of: DISHONEST APPROACHES TO CONFLICT.

pirako isnt honest about her overall intentions the, like, seven different times that she "admits her real ones." kada plays at peacekeeper in the devas while being the ultimate person scheming to get the upper hand over everyone else in the end. (she's also secretly harusame, evil amanto outsider who acts as a unifying force for the kabukicho fighting itself to band together against and expel: sorachi's favorite move! the problem was never internal, it's the shadowy REAL antagonists who infiltrated us)

jirochou and otose are ultimately doing a pantomime of conflict to try to keep temperatures down and escalations from breaking out, so no one they care about has to get hurt. gintoki doesn't know this until the end, but he follows in their footsteps after his encounter with them in the graveyard: he plays at having given up to the rest of yorozuya so they'll leave and escape the coming kabukicho war, the same thing otose was trying with him. it fails both times. i'm really not sure why gintoki and otose thought it would work, honestly. they should know their kids are stubborn as hell.

but gintoki is in a bind because of the things he needs to protect, and all of his actions are primarily in service of that, to the detriment of how he'd prefer to act if he were less restricted. he is unsurprised and unoffended to hear saigou is only willing to warn them, not help them, because her son is in danger if she acts directly. all four devas are, seemingly, being mutually restrained this way, holding back even when blatantly manipulated to do so. the other constant of this arc: everyone is dishonest, and no one wants to risk losing what they have.

gintoki understands that! of course! he's had to make that calculus before, after all :)

and this arc is just one big cliff scene echo: the entire graveyard scene pushing gintoki to emotional regression because he thinks he's losing another parent figure, one he's just seen the Gintoki Figure of the arc cut down, no less (takasugi stolen valor when he goes berserk against him and only ends up uselessly bleeding out on the ground about it, honestly). otose goes into this willingly so gintoki can live. he accepts this decision because he values protecting her values (her kids living on) and is briefly broken by it (the story says, before giving him shinpachi to "put him back on track"). prior to the bitchslap, after saying he just wants them to live, even if it has to be without him, he says:

i dont have a good understanding of when we start getting reveals of gintoki's backstory versus foreshadowing because i went into gintama already knowing most of it, but definitely by the recent red spider where we get our first real look at (or really, first listen to) shouyou. but here we actually get some of what gintoki felt about it, which he keeps closely guarded even when the whole truth comes out: he's done his best to survive having lost, but it was so unbearable he can't face losing again.

(also, honorable mention backstory echo, the person calling him a brother sets his home on fire to drive him and his parent figure out of town. as i liveblogged: this one would really hurt gintoki if gintoki cared about anything oboro ever did!)

but with the shinpachi story-rerouting, they get the good end, keep everyone (otose, yorozuya, all of kabukicho, even pirako and her dad - everyone but kada) safe without having to sacrifice a single thing, even keep gintoki hopeful for this outcome. so, as goose points out, we are left to understand that there could have been a good end on the cliff, that something is different here than there, and, skipping a lot of math, that that is the people around gintoki.

which i do find really funny to imagine as a slam on takasugi and katsura. sorry you kids suck too much, your teacher dies bc u were cringefail. but lets look at it.

everyone is dishonest, no one wants to risk what they have: gintoki rallies himself to keep fighting but is determined to do it alone. kagura and shinpachi fight him on this; they can't leave because they don't want to lose their home, they can't let him fight alone because they don't want to lose him. they're just as restricted by what they have to keep safe, but their only option is to act where everyone else's is inaction. shinpachi says:

if i may skip over the bitchslap itself for now, gintoki does consent to let his allies fight with him after it. yorozuya stands alone against saigou, who's heavily demoralized but resigned, strongarmed into fighting them by the threat to her son. but on seeing their resolve to keep protecting their own precious home and family she says:

and, to skip straight to my thought, i think this is what turns the tides back in their favor. there are more twists and turns to the fight. pirako equates what binds saigou, which she herself equates to what binds the yorozuya, to what binds her:

(with an intentional distinction that she's willing to actively destroy the others', as opposed to their purely self defensive fighting, which is echoed at some point in her distinguishing gintoki from jirochou in the same way, that jirochou not only lives to protect like gintoki but is willing to destroy in the process. i don't find that part as interesting, but it's more fuel to the power of having something to protect as a driving force as an arc theme.)

so now all three stand on the same ground, absolutely unwilling to give up what they hold dear, but all their cards are on the table. they aren't dealing in 12 dimensions of tricksy defensive pre-emptive moves anymore. they know it wouldnt work, anyways, since they all know their drives to protect are the same and no one will be talked into backing down. now they can directly duke it out and let the winner be determined that way, on strength of will. even before the actual circumstances change, the fight somehow feels freer seeing how inevitable it is. and with everything out in the open, yorozuya can now protect each other and saigou's son, taking out one side of the conflict.

(and with everything out in the open, the ultimate 4devas villain can become the single person who continues to betray the others, kada, whose further machinations - with everything out in the open! - saigou (and later yorozuya) can choose to protect pirako from. everyone wins! because everything was out in the open! do you see where i'm going)

and so we come back to the question: gintoki is corrected, the arc is rerailed to the better outcome. so is the correction justified?

what does the correction accomplish outside of its moment? most convincingly to me of goose's presented options, i also think it's done as a thematic shift, a, okay, just live was a strategy that worked before but now doesn't suffice, so we need something more.

as to why this is needed now and not earlier or later...tldr bad planning <3 but like.

we have, prior to this, a consistent thrust of arcs where gintoki teaches people to lose. as well, while we meet the harusame and we visit space and we get the barest glimpses of takasugi's weird shadowy background moves there, largely we're dealing with kabukicho characters and kabukicho stories. we see or only hear about the shogun for short comedic moments only. we've largely dropped the series intro focus on things like the shinsengumi or hasegawa acting as foreign diplomats. it's a local series, a hometown series, a kabukicho and not even an edo at large series, a personal story about gintoki making personal connections with his personal experience as a flawed person with a flawed approach to life that has let him, chronic slacker, get by on the bare minimum.

at this moment, chapter 300, we have a slow trickle of gintoki backstory starting to come out to us. we've recently expanded the story focus to include yoshiwara, which gets a callout in this arc by kada to keep it relevant. we have an arc of sorachi testing out plot beats that he'll use again for the endgame, in all the political maneuvering and alliancing and betraying and shadowy outsider space governmenting, where he's also doing a lot of echoing of that backstory that only becomes clear later. so it's possible he's thinking about shifting gears and setting up for the eventual endgame, which means getting out of the episodic cycle so things can stick.

and after this arc, to my opinion and memory, we stop getting the classic gintama flavor sympathizable'd antagonists. a lot of the bigger arcs don't even have clear Big Shot antagonists anymore, being more about the shouyoucore theme of characters fighting against themselves, or if there is one they're always explicitly part of the Shadow Government now, a unified and more daunting force than someone they can win over with an inspiring gintoki interaction.

so 4devas does act as a turning point at least in some way. and it's not possible to say this definitively, since all gintama arcs are ultimately never going to be about gintoki or his friends Actually losing something instead of beating the odds, but it does feel like theres a different flavor to, say, dekobokko with its direct look at how chars lives could be different and better and they will still choose to keep struggling as themselves. and Kintama arc definitely doesn't feel like an early days arc, like it can only resolve the way it does with a gintoki who is now able to face his past and the possibility of losing again and again and again (now with, natch, his faith that yorozuya will by his side when he does).

why now, after 300 chapters of letting it sit ignored in the back of his brain working out perfectly fine except when it doesn't (the very reminder of shouyou in a fight making him go Demon Mode, which is like regular gintoki but worse at fighting, bc he is so unprepared to think about shouyou)? well i personally am in big favor of the "take a decade off" strategy for facing problems. it worked for me too. realistically watsonianly its nice to let things percolate in the brain and do some of the processing behind the scenes until its less immediately painful. and he's made many bonds over these 300 chapters, shown in this arc when the whole town rallies behind him, that are there to support him when he needs it now and weren't there before.

realistically doylistly eh. bad planning.

and so we come back to the question: gintoki is corrected, the series as a result is rerailed to a writing space where things can start changing (leave the episodic, as you guys say, sazae-san format). it's useful in the future. so is the correction justified in terms of what comes before it? was the correction needed?

thinking about the bitchslap leads to thinking about the cliff scene leads to (sorry kagura and katsura, you guys arent really relevant here) pitting shinpachi and takasugi against each other in how they act with something on the line they can't bear to give up.

i don’t need the lesson of 4devas to apply logistically to the cliff scene. once they were set up on that chessboard, frozen in their assigned places as a backstory, it’s not like takasugi could’ve power of friendship’d his way out of being physically retrained if he decided he wanted to. it’s set up as a forced choice, it has to play out as a forced choice.

but we see that even before it’s asked of him, takasugi is willing, prepared, unbothered to give up his own life for shouyou’s. this is, goose lays out in the sequel, the cardinal sin in gintama - a teacher shouldn’t outlive their student. it would have been especially egregious to shouyou, whose whole desired life’s purpose is to raise students who can outlive him and outgrow him, take his lessons and go out into the world and do their own thing with them. takasugi doesn’t expect to do this and doesn’t seem to see a point in the possibility if shouyou isn’t back with them.

though we can also think of shouyou as a little too quickly willing to give up on the cliff - sorry, gintoki, the suicidal guy has thought about it for .02 seconds and decided the best outcome is for you to kill him even though he could get out of this no problem. maybe its no wonder gintoki gave up too. can we ask katsura what he would’ve done?

and is takasugi different from shinpachi there? he rejects the mentor’s attempt to exchange his own life for his. he’s not willing to consider a life without him.

but shinpachi is convinced no one is going to die. because they’ll be there together. incredibly naive - shinpachi and kagura, restricted to one option by what they need to protect like everyone is in 4devas, have acting as that one option because they are still free in a way gintoki and the other adults aren't. they’ve never actually experienced the impossible choice that forces you to give up, so they can act as if there isn’t one - what else would they do? why would they think to give up?

but gintoki is defined by having lived the impossible choice. its built into the foundation of him as a character and leaks out everywhere. he couldn’t have relied on his friends on the cliff because they were quite forcibly removed from the picture as an option, not by his or their choice. its written as an inevitability, logistics we find out later be damned.

if we refocus to 4devas, we can look at the Gintoki Figure for a different angle. jirochou, after he and gintoki resolve the arc conflict by being able to team up because they - say it with me - put everything out in the open, tells gintoki about his impetus for abandoning his family and coming back to his wayward life in kabukicho, the death of otose's husband.

it's, um, another now really obvious parallel to gintoki, lol. characters talk about how jirochou does everything he does in this arc to try to atone for his failure to both otose and tatsugorou, and i guess thats true bc he was written that way but he has an odd way of showing it, but anyways he resolves that, despite his guilt over this, all he can do now is keep living and keep protecting what they loved together. he's come to the usual gintama message all on his own, reinforcing that this is the correct way to live in this series. he had his own unavoidably shitty situation, and he came to terms with it.

so then where did jirochou go wrong, in the narrative's eyes (other than abandoning one woman and their child to deal drugs in the town of his other woman while ignoring her)? was there a point he could've changed how their trio's story played out? but he loved and trusted tatsugorou, and he was happy to step aside and let him be the one by their otose's side. i doubt he would have been happy stealing her away even if it were possible.

but if we look at the resolution tool of 4devas... he never put everything out in the open!!! everyone knows he loved otose, but in more of an open secret way. in classic romance plot, he never confessed for second male lead rejection closure. indeed, in the closest we ever get to a main character having a romantic plot in gintama, the very ending of the arc flirts with him doing just that now that he's made a little progress with the arc message, with the entire cast of the arc expecting him to (and interrupting before he can).

but if he had when they were young. if he had been honest with his friends. could it have opened up other options that weren't available on his own, that they didnt know to offer? i have a preferred one lol. but u can get creative with all sorts of life paths that avoid tatsugorou dying that way or, at the least, jirochou feeling chained to a shameful life (living in a town he doesn't go out in to protect a woman he doesnt talk to and feeling like he doesnt deserve the family he abandoned for this) because of it.

and then if we take this and rewind back to the cliff... we get to grind my favorite ax, "shouyou shouldve told literally anyone literally anything about his deal." if gintoki knew more about shouyou, they could've faced his horrors together, the whole time. he couldve known that shouyou was being literal calling himself a demon and not internalized his own identity as one for life just because shouyou bonded with him over it. i truly genuinely think the logical conclusion of all of gintama's big messages are that shouyou and gintoki should have been more open with each other.

but i don't think sorachi thinks that. and, you know, by 4devas rules, the unriskable precious things he was protecting by staying silent were his students' humanity, and secondarily his own fragilely newly hopeful heart that literally couldnt stand another 10 millionth round of rejection (killed himself and then went on a 12 year rampage over it. girl i would too).

and takasugi really isn't dishonest about what's going on in his head when he tells us he expects to die for shouyou. that's as cards on the table as i could ask. gintoki is, a little bit, by omission. he does what i'd want him to here - tells takasugi try just not dying - but doesn't give him a reason to, and doesn't tell him he has no plans of letting anyone die for shouyou.

so what goes wrong on the cliff - shouyou is happy, gintoki is happy, oboro's even kind of happy, katsura is irrelevant - is that takasugi is blindsided (whoops) by their silent agreement that betrays the one he thought he and gintoki had. and then ruins everyone's party about it and spends the next ten years doing so for good measure.

which is also, basically, what shinpachi is going through that prompts the bitchslap, too. he thought they were a team, that they had each others backs, not that gintoki is a one-way protector of them. he is blindsided by gintoki lying to and tricking them and hiding things from them. he is hurt by gintoki feeling hopeless all by himself when he could share that with them and be encouraged by their endless child optimism.

and would it need to have changed anything on the cliff? in the moment after the bitchslap, what contributes to gintoki changing his mindset is tama telling him, we trust that you're capable bc youve always shown us that, can you trust us this time? when, later in the arc, gintoki seems to regress by sending kagura and shinpachi away, he asks them to trust that he's still trusting them, relying on them to help shoulder his burden, and in return they know he's staying alive, not self sacrificing. maybe it would've helped just to feel on the same team and not shut out, to be able to trust gintoki like gintoki was trusting shouyou?

so. two paralleled instances of gintoki making a bad situation worse by keeping to himself and being too self sufficient. that feels clear cut that feels fine im okay with that as a takeaway. do i think its exactly what sorachi had in mind while writing this, as opposed to just a good series 'hey lean on your friends' moment to read cool and tug at the heartstrings? eh lol. i think theres definitely room to read takasugi into this arc (i still need to refind the takagin 4devas post...) but its not so baked in that i think he was a PRIORITY in the plotting.

but is the shinpachi SCOLDING necessary is the scolding justified... and yes its in response to life doesnt need to be fun i just want you to live. still a confusing framing i can't immediately square. but/and more immediately its directly responding. to gintoki opening up to them about his insecurities!!

which, as said, he doesnt do!! he doesnt talk about his failures! its basically like, here and to hijikata that one time and otherwise even when we know all the facts about what happened we still never hear gintoki himself talk about it. (so he really DOESNT learn the lesson here either. he stays dissociated and triggered every time utsuro comes up. he tries to solve the altana baby problem on his own. he doesnt talk to his new friends OR his old friends. bwah. gintoki. silver soul.)

so this is like. its just in the wrong order!! its just in a baffling order lol. if you want gintoki to share his burden do you need to punch him when he shares it. does it also need to sound like you're blaming him for not being capable of upholding his promise to protect anyone when thats the insecurity thats got him all discombobulated this arc in the first place (a whole set of notes i took on this that i didnt find a place for in this post)?? its so weeeeiiiiiirddd lol i dont liiikeee itttttt. theres plenty of things shinpachi can validly punch gintoki for but this is such a weird one.

so i guess. having a clearer understanding of this arc do i hate it less? YES honestly. i hate fakeout plots generally they irritate me but everything... more or less makes sense by gintama standards now that i have the whole plot in mind.

do i hate jirochou less SORT OF? i enjoy him. in his individual relationships. i like his shitty dad deal i love shitty dads. i like him pining for otose who genuinely likes him but also brings up her husband every sentence she says to him just to keep him down. i like his parallels with gintoki that they both explicitly acknowledge and find macho comfort in. hes still not theeeeeeeee most well-developed gintama antagonist but you know? i at least think otose and pirako would want to be around him after this.

do i feel like i have a clearer understanding of the bitchslap moment. NOT CONVINCED I DO. i feel like its going to be one of those things that slips in and out of my understanding like sand in cupped hands. i have a tentative understanding of it that i dont think sorachi actually had in mind. so i dont think ive solved it lol.

will i be cursed to think about 4devas forever? god i hope not. am i okay with it beating farewell shins in the polls. god i fucking hope it does. in the horrible timeline where i have to see 305 make it all the way and then lose i guess id rather it be to this one than to hijigin. consider this poll propaganda?

[ifihadtopickadad]

you've made a mistake by telling me to go read up on the au- (/j)

anyway. susan refers to nessa and gregory as her children, so i assume this means she adopted nessa?? either legally or just emotionally, and considering she was homeless before henry gave them the afton house i am going to assume the us legal system wouldnt give her custody of nessa at all so its the latter.

WILLIAM FINDING REMNANT AS A TEENAGER IS SUCH A COOL CONCEPT ?!?!? like. him finding it post cc (i love how you call him benny btw. really cool name) or charlie's death is interesting, but the idea that he experimented using animals (AND HIS OWN FAMILY DAMN) and then moved onto children/humans once he- presumeably- did everything he could with being that didnt have the same level of sentience?? amazing. very evil-scientist core. love it.

remnant working similar to radiation is also an interesting idea, having to be stored carefully or it will 'possess' the objects around it. (imagine william tried to store it in a bucket one time and the bucket just. got possessed. what do you even do in that situation-) are there some materials that remenant is physcially unable to uh. meld itself into i guess?? like some resources are just remnant resistant??

will susan tell the kids about remnant? about everything (or even just some things) the aftons had going on? or is she going to try protect them from the truth?? DOES SHE FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MIKE POST-SISTER LOCATION?? is the scoop canon to this au?? (if so my next question is how did faz ent get the sperm of a corpse but its faz ent. theyll find a way.)

the au seems great so far !! definately really interesting, will be Rotating It in my mind for the next several days and going mental any time you post something new for it lol

take care !! <3

It Twasn't a mistake. Twas a calculated risk.

I love people asking about the stuff I make. I'm out here stimming from excitement, you got me smiling so hard that my dimples are showing.

Emotionally and illegally. If there's one thing the lore has shown us about Henry beyond what we already know, it's that after William's bull-fuckery Henry had to be just as shady to bring the musty dusty purple Pringle down so paying someone to forge adoption papers was easy(I like to think he fnaf!Neil Caffrey to do it)

The concept of William discovering Remnant post-CC is nice but it never lined up quite right to me, I know way too much about how famous historical scientists studied the way stuff worked extensively to even begin experimenting with it to think that he discovered Remnant, and immediately started killing people to get results. William isn't on the Anti Social Personality Spectrum but he is an undiagnosed Narcissist with a God-Complex. So, William discovers Remnant as a teen and does smaller experiments to figure out how it works (this is one of my fnaf theories specifically around William's relationship to Remnant)

All the discourse about Remnant is actually what inspired the Radiation thing. Everyone, everywhere, was losing their minds over the insanity that is Remnant and I had a throwaway thought about how we've seen all this in fiction where Radiation is the given cause: the mutates in every Fallout game ever and the TV show, Spiderman, The Hulk, Corpse Mikey would fit right in in the Fallout-verse, etc. All fnaf does is take all of those concepts and shove them into one place and I love that. The only thing it doesn't do is bring you back to life and I think that's because you need internal organs for that. Mike lost his organs but not his brain so Remnant kept brain activity going.

The bucket thing did happen. It wasn't a bucket thought. It was one of those plain lunch boxes. He had one already but, he bought an extra to store the Remnant in. Long story short, it's early morning, and he's practically brain-dead as he gets ready for school so he grabs one of the lunch boxes without. Lunch in the cafeteria was legendary that day. The lunch box screeched, and he made up a half-lie about trying to invent a musical lunch box but grabbing the wrong one. He invented an actual musical lunch box that was fairly popular in UK for a while.

Yes! Funny enough Radiated materials are the only things Remnant can't meld itself to. He could never figure out why but, William's not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He bought and repurposed multiple microwaves to act as radiated containers.

By the time they get to the house Gregory and Nessa are 10 and 14 respectively so she does tell them, they're also Geniuses ala Afton Genetics and they're also Peak Gremlins™️ so they'd find out anyway.

Everyone knows Michael Afton(legal name Mike Schmidt) as a Missing Person's case that's gone unsolved for decades by this point. The footage of him getting scooped was scrubbed as was his being worn like a meat suit. But there is footage of 'Mike' forcing himself up and to the Elevator. His organs were all gone by the time the Police got there but the blood muscle and other bodily fluids were still there. It's believed that Mike was lured to the scooping room through abuse and manipulation a fact further compounded by the bodies of the technicians being found hanging by police.

The general belief is that he died out in the wilderness but, his body was never found hence the Missing Presumed Dead thing. This all happened in 1986 when he was 17. Afton Robotics and Fazent shut down Circus Baby's officially and stopped renting out the Funtimes after this because they weren't fast enough to cover it up like with the Missing Children's Incident and the Bite of '83. And so began the downfall of Fazbear Entertainment and Afton Robotics.

So yeah, the scoop happened here, and since Remnant works with what's already there and Mike's practically made of the stuff because he grew up eating it, his sperm was kept intact ala Remnant(I mean he didn't lose his penis to the scoop.)

As for the name. I was watching the sandlot when I came up with it. (His middle name is Garret) I'm glad you like it.