#and treat myself to a few new mangas if i can

[funkle420]

the one piece animators gave even the background pirates such cute fits and unique designs and i love them for that<3

[snaillock]

could I pls ask for a boyfriend's Nagi x male reader? like him having a weakness for the reader and being like a puppy with him? idk if I'm explaining myself idk how to put it in words 😭 I love blue lock and there's almost no x male reader with them so I'm excited to find this sorry 😓

nagi x male!reader

AHHH my first request!! tysm for asking i would love to make this! i also got curious and only found like three nagi x male readers (two of which were smuts that i was too uncomfortable to read☠️) but don't worry im here to save the day. this also ended up being a lot longer than expected but still really hope you enjoy!! ^^

tags: male reader, sad nagi backstory moment, me getting too carried away with build up again

you were one of the few people who didn’t look at nagi like he was some anomaly. while others in your school would steer clear and gossip about him behind his back, you were one of the only people who spoke to him and treated him like an actual person and not some freak of nature

you would try to talk to him in class but he wouldn’t talk back (since “talking is such a pain”) so you assumed you were bothering him and eventually stopped.

nagi eventually noticed you wouldn’t talk to him in class anymore and it didn’t bother him at first. but eventually he finds himself missing it and would make the rare effort of trying to initiate conversations with you.

that led to you guys talking every day during class. the more you two spoke, the more you realized how much you had in common with him. you soon asked him if he wanted to come over to hang out.

he usually rejects any hang-out offers from literally anyone. though when you asked him if he wanted to come over to your place to play video games together, he accepted because he found you to be less of a hassle to be around compared to others.

when he came over, he realized he actually really enjoys being around you and had fun spending his time playing games with you. he even took a look around your room to admire all the things you’ve collected that represent your personality and interests. this only made him more captivated by you and wanted to be much closer friends

now for the exciting part

once some time has passed and you two got closer, you soon find out he’s a shamelessly clingy person both emotionally and physically.

whenever he would see you, he randomly wraps his arms around you and latch onto you. he hates being forced to let go whenever you two have to go to class.

he gives absolutely zero fucks about being publicly affectionate with another guy in school, paying no mind to the weird stares and whispers

he constantly wants to stay over at your place and when you come over to his for the first time, he introduces you to choki (a hugeeee moment for him trust me)

nagi truly loves being with you. at first, he didn’t care about being an outcast until you showed up in his life and showed him what true friendship and love was like

soon his feelings for you as a friend develops into something much more unfamiliar before he can realize it. falling in love was definitely a new experience for nagi and falling in love with you specifically was a slow delicate process

he definitely didn’t realize for a while that he likes you in that way until he finds himself admiring you as you somehow have soft lighting all over your face and pink flowers and hearts circling your head (all in his imagination my boy is completely whipped). he then thinks, ��hmm this feels like one of the shojo mangas i’ve read befo- ohhhhh!”

once the initial shock is over, he’s already bold enough to confess to you quickly after. i can imagine him suddenly telling you how he feels in the most random scenario ever.

it would be so out of nowhere. you guys could be out walking in the park. you casually sip out of your bottle when he nonchalantly says, “wanna be my boyfriend?” with his signature neutral face, making you choke and cough on your water.

he would then elaborate on how much he likes you with the plainest face ever like it was a regular tuesday conversation. the one difference is the light flush on his cheeks and you can definitely tell that he truly means all of it. so once you stopped coughing, you obviously accept his confession

if you thought he was already pretty damn clingy prior to you two becoming a couple, then be prepared for that to increase tenfold

holding hands isn’t enough for him, ideally he needs to be super glued onto you permanently for the rest of his life

you guys are definitely the couple people gag at when they see you both curled up cuddling each other in the hallway.

once again, he gives absolutely no shits. he needs to show off what an amazing boyfriend he has so he’ll never tone it down on the pda

on the very very rare occurrence that you're not with him and you happened to be talking to someone else in the hallway, he sees this and immediately gets a little possessive. so he walks up right behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on you. you assume he's just being needy again and find it cute, completely unaware of how he's now glaring deep into that person’s soul from over your shoulder. i mean you’re his man and his man only so everyone needs to know.

he requires you to pet and run your fingers through his hair for a low minimum for uhhh 2000 times a day. you swear that he purrs every time you do it but when you try to listen out for another one, he already fell asleep on your shoulder

whenever you guys are cuddling either at his dorm or your place, he just lays his entire body weight onto you like a heated blanket while resting his head on your shoulder with your fingers carded through his hair. if you try to gently nudge him off so you can get up and use the bathroom, he audibly whines and eventually relents. he totally tries to follow you into the bathroom after that.

whenever you compliment or praise him, he looks totally unaffected but internally, he’s jumping around screaming. meanwhile, he will randomly drop the most endearing and beautiful arrangement of words at you in a completely neutral voice and just move on with his day like you didn’t just witness the most flattering thing you’ve ever heard.

loves whenever you randomly grab his chin and give him a short but very sweet kiss.

nah actually scratch that. nagi loves kisses from you anytime anywhere. fleeting cheek kisses before you both head to class. kisses on his forehead as you hold him close under the covers. drawn out victory kisses you both finally finish a difficult match together. no matter what it is, he always helplessly melts into each one.

before you appeared in nagi's life, his world was just one big dull pain he simply had to push through every day. now that he had you by his side, he finally had the motivation to get out of bed every day.

[deadboyswalking]

What a lot of fans are wondering, myself included, is "Where did MHA go wrong?"

I can think of several points that kick-started the downfall. This is not an exhaustive list, but just a few of the bigger flaws. It's a really long post, especially on the last point.

1. The reveal that AFO was directly responsible for all of Tomura's woes from before he was even born. This completely absolved society and his abusive family of responsibility, thus cheapening the manga's themes centered around those aspects of the manga's world.

2. Excessive focus on Endeavor at the expense of Shouto's feelings, actions, and inner world. It seems that from the Endeavor Agency Arc onward, Shouto's character is constantly underwritten and shoved aside so his father can get more screentime. Shouto's climactic, emotional final fight with Touya is completely undercut by the actual final fight of Touya vs. Endeavor, with the rest of the Todoroki family (Shouto included) basically sidelined to cheer Endeavor on. Even in the last Todoroki family chapter, the primary focus is still on Endeavor's feelings and not Shouto or Touya.

3. The complete character assassination of Izuku Midoriya. He was never the most interesting MC to begin with, but at least he had something going for him in the early arcs. He was weird, brilliant in battle tactics/analysis, brave and determined, endlessly compassionate, and completely insane. He had a real fire in him as a person and, unlike what many fans say, started the series with an awareness of the deep flaws in his society. People always say that the "save the villains" angle was shoved into the story during the first war, but it's clear from the beginning that the way Deku looked at his society already primed him to believe in that idea. During his mall encounter with Shigaraki, he actually showed that he'd carefully considered Stain's message and understood where he was coming from, even if he didn't agree with his actions. This is the story's first indication that if a villain has a genuine gripe with society and can explain it, Deku is willing to listen to what they have to say. Similarly, at the Sports Festival, he doesn't treat Endeavor with any of respect/awe he usually treats heroes with because Endeavor doesn't show the heroic values that Deku believes in.

So what happened to Deku? Honestly, I think he as a character disappeared beneath the weight of The Vestiges of OFA, Becoming The New Symbol of Peace, and Acting As The Author's Mouthpiece.

Joint Training Arc was the first indication that Izuku himself no longer mattered because of the OFA mythos and Vestiges inside him. Now, I don't mind Blackwhip because it diversified his fighting style and gave him a long-range attack. I also appreciated how hard he had to work to use it effectively and consistently. However, all of the other Vestige Quirks seemed to come to him way too easily and he could use them in perfect combinations without trying and against highly skilled adult opponents. The Vestiges started to talk to him constantly and give him advice, so his battle analysis/tactics were no longer necessary and he didn't need to come up with his own ideas anymore. More importantly, his own strong inner sense of justice and awareness of society's need to change was utterly replaced by some mystical Vestige-world bullshit about saving little Tenko. Adult Tomura was right there, clearly explaining his point of view and deep pain, and Deku didn't even listen to him (or really care when Tomura's body started being controlled by AFO). What happened to the independently compassionate boy from the earlier manga?

Being The New Symbol of Peace is another place where Deku had his character steamrolled. As flawed as the arc as a whole was, I actually had hope for him during the Dark Hero Arc. He was asking questions and genuinely trying to understand why villains became villains. He saw how civilians treated people with mutant quirks, listened to Lady Nagant about the HPSC, and witnessed tons of other abuses by society that made him angry. His eyes were opened and his compassion for Tenko Shimura deepened, priming him for the Final Battle where he would save the man and make a stand to change their society forever. Unfortunately, due to Horikoshi's inability to let go of the All Might and AFO dynamic, Deku's character was squeezed into The New Symbol of Peace mold and he forgot all about what he learned during the Dark Hero Arc in order to take out ShigAFO and let society stay exactly the same.

Finally, Deku was lost when he started Acting As The Author's Mouthpiece. The first sign of this was during Endeavor Agency Arc, when he told Shouto that he would forgive Endeavor "because you're a good person" and fawning all over Endeavor in general. I'm sorry, what? As much as Deku likes heroes, he was already shown to strongly dislike Endeavor because he didn't act like a true hero should and abused his family (people smaller and weaker than himself). Now one of your best fucking friends and his siblings are giving you more details of their horrific upbringing, including about their dead brother, and your response is that a good person would forgive Endeavor because he's trying to be better??? There is no canon justification for why Deku would do that type of 180°, but there's certainly an author that continually pushed more and more screentime for Endeavor and his feelings as the series went on. I wouldn't give a shit if this opinion change had any lead-up to it (as characters can change their minds all they want), but there's nothing in Deku's previously-shown character/personality that would lead to that conclusion. As the story went on, Deku mostly lost his introspective nature and stopped struggling with internal conflicts over right and wrong and what it means to be a hero. Instead, he just started mindlessly spouting whatever half-assed "message" the author wanted to show during any given scene with no regard to his previous opinions, background, or personality, often contradicting himself as the story's messages couldn't stay consistent either.

[strawberrytoki]

kiss it better

sakata gintoki x nurse!reader

a/n: this is my first fic ever! I hope you enjoy :)

word count: 1,141

c/w: none! just toothrotting fluff and kissing.

It was yet another excruciatingly hot day in the land of Edo, and Gintoki was not exactly having the time of his life. He lay on the couch, fully sprawled out and lazily fanned himself with that week's JUMP manga. He let out another guttural groan and threw a shoe at shinpachi, hitting him in the head.

'' Oi, be of use and go find us something to cool ourselves with."

Poor Shinpachi rubbed his head, scowling at him. "Broke as you are, you're the one with the funds here you know?"

Having given up on the possibility of negotiation, gintoki picked himself up and made his way to the door.

"Where are you headed?" kagura questioned.

"I'm getting us some ice lollies, it's all we can afford anyway."

And so, gintoki headed out on the street, dragging his feet in a lazy demeanor and looking for the ice lollipop vendor. After eventually finding him, he bought a few, popped one in his mouth and started making his way back home.

Something brought his journey back to a halt though, or rather, someone.

There you were, moving boxes in to the house across the street, with some help from the moving truck drivers. You were clad in your scrubs, indicating that you were either heading to, or coming from work. The beads of sweat on your forehead and slightly disheveled hair suggested the latter though.

You and the workers were wrapping things up as gintoki got closer to passing your residence. He noticed that you rushed into your house and came back out with a plate of what seemed to be....homemade strawberry shortcake.

You offered some to the workers and flashed them a bright smile. They eagerly accepted, got in their truck, and rode away.

You noticed a curious pair of eyes set on you, and turned to acknowledge them.

"Hey there, you live around here?" you asked, greeting him with a wave.

"Huh? oh yeah yeah, right around the block actually, I run the odd jobs place." He said, staring into the sky and scratching his head, trying to feign nonchalance.

"I've heard quite a few things about you guys." you announced

"Our reputation precedes us, that could be either a good or bad thing." Gintoki pondered.

"Good things." you continued, almost as if you could read his mind.

"Ha, I see, though I find that hard to believe..." His mind drifted to his less-than efficient partners and their lackluster resumé. "So you're a nurse, right?"

"What gave that away?" You joked "but yes, I am one, now if you excuse me, I have to get myself out of these scrubs. It was nice meeting you...?"

"Gintoki. Sakata Gintoki."

"Pleasure, I'm (name)"

Days passed by since gintoki's encounter with the new captivating neighbor. He often found himself thinking about you and the delicious treats you'd bake from time to time, they were so aromatic, he could smell them when he stepped outside. He also found himself thinking about the warm smile you'd flash people and wondered what it would feel like to be a cause for one.

Gintoki then thought of what he felt was the most brilliant idea he's had in a while. "KAGURA." he shouted.

"What?" Kagura entered the room with sleepy eyes.

"I need you to injure me."

"Is that because you want the nice lady down the block to treat you? She's way out of your league and wouldn't settle for you, you also carry with you the stench of poverty whereve-"

"Can you do it or no? Goddamn it." His patience was clearly running out.

"Fine..." Kagura then knocked gintoki out clean, with a quick hit to his left ankle. Even though he was in tooth-gritting pain, he was still a man on a mission, so he made his way out the house and towards the direction of your house.

"ARGHHHHH" He winced, holding his head up in pain and limping.

you were taking your bag out of your car, preparing to head inside when you heard someone shout in what seemed to be agonizing pain. It was your neighbor Gintoki, limping around with a swollen, almost futile ankle.

"Oh my god, Gintoki are you alright?" You hurried to him, holding him by his side and heading towards your house.

"Yeah it's no biggie, just a minor injury." He answered. You helped him into your house and slowly helped him descend into the couch.

"How'd this happen?" You questioned him with concern all over your face. "Just some rascal with his motorcycle." He made up a lie on the spot. "Hmm, that's odd...there are no skid marks on the ankle."

"Yeah...I guess it was a new motorcycle..." He looked around, trying to sell his lie.

You went to work straight away, helping treat and wrap up his ankle.

Afterwards, you served him a slice of pie you had made the night before, which he enthusiastically annihilated.

"Don't do anything to strain your ankle, and you should be fine soon!" You smiled at him, glad that he was now okay.

"Yes ma'am. Thanks again for the pie, do I owe you anything?" Not that he had any business asking, as he didn't have shit to his name.

"Nope! service on the house! take care now." You sent him off, not thinking much of what just happened.

Meanwhile, Gintoki marched home, feeling triumphant over this little encounter. He already had a few ideas of what was to come next.

Over the next few weeks, he'd fake several minor injuries just so he could see you, and get a little treat out of it. At first, you were unsuspecting of him, thinking he just had a streak of bad luck, but eventually started catching on to his tactics.

One day, he stumbled in your house holding his head and groaning.

"I have the meanest concussion right now..."

"Sit on the couch, I'll treat you in a minute."

Having figured out his cunning scheme, you were planning on confronting him, but not in a direct way. You took a cold compress and started making your way towards him.

"You know...for someone with a concussion, you seem to have found your way to the couch quite easily." You inched closer, still holding the compress to his head.

"Uh..uh yeah I suppose it's a mild one." he started to look around, avoiding eye contact.

You slowly put the compress down, still looking him dead in the eye and inching closer yet again. You then pressed a firm kiss to his head, right where you were holding the compress, and watched him turn into a blushing mess.

"This should help make you feel better for now, and the next time you wanna visit, know you don't have to be 'injured' "

Gintoki just sat there, for about five minutes. Dumbfounded, and not knowing how to respond.

[thegracefulknight]

Ciel/Lizzy Playlist

Long post ahead

Okay, so I tried made a list of songs which I think would be perfect for them. ♫ These songs are based from both of their POVs, though it may lean more towards Lizzy's.

Each song is arranged according to how O!Ciel and Lizzy's dynamics progressed through the manga. I also included parts of the song lyrics that highlight their relationship well, or those that resonate with important parts in their story. The first few songs are kinda meh but the last ones are sure to hurt like crazy! xD This playlist has 26 songs btw, so prepare your tissues and cry with me!

Hope you guys give it a listen! ♡

Song List:

1. Sad Song (We The Kings ft. Elena Coats)

—A light, almost fairy-tale like opening highlighting Lizzy and her dreams with R!Ciel. Together with O!Ciel, they are three children living in their happy, idyllic childhood.

"You're the perfect melody, the only harmony I wanna hear / You're my favorite part of me/ With you standing next to me /I've got nothing to fear"

2. When You're Gone (Avril Lavigne)

— Lizzy's sorrow after the murder of the Phantomhives. She remembers the boy she had sacrificed a lot of things for, the boy who was supposed to be her fairytale ending.

"When you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you / When you're gone, the face I came to know is missing too/ And when you're gone /The words I need to hear to always get me through the day /And make it okay /I miss you"

3. Safe and Sound (Taylor Swift ft. Joy Williams & Paul White)

— "Ciel" returns after one month; however, he has now changed. For the sake of the broken boy who returned to her, Lizzy makes another sacrifice, vowing to be a wife that could protect him, and keep him safe.

"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down / You'll be alright / No one can hurt you now / Come morning light / You and I'll be safe and sound"

4. Your Guardian Angel (The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

— Despite not wanting to get closer to her initially, O!Ciel finds himself caring for his brother's betrothed. He has protected her time and again, and vows to always protect her at all costs.

"Seasons are changing, and waves are crashing / And stars are falling all for us / Days grow longer and nights grow shorter / I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall) / I'll stand up with you forever / I'll be there for you through it all (through it all) / Even if saving you sends me to heaven"

5. THE CONTORTIONIST (Melanie Martinez)

— A song where Lizzy contemplates on how she keeps up the facade of being cute for her fiancé because of a comment made a long time ago. This song highlights the moment where she decides she is done pretending to be weak and cute.

"Twisted all my limbs for you / Two of them in knots and two of them in loops / Ribbons tied around like a noose / Wonder if I'll ever get it loose / I don't wanna bruise for you /Holding back my words until my face is blue (Huh) /I don't really care 'bout your crew / You can tell 'em what you wanted to

... I'm done, I'm done /Done doing backbends, I break and I snap / It's no fun, no fun / Pushed myself into a box while you held out a gun /I'm done! Wah ha ha ha ha ha hah! / I'm done, I'm done! Wah ha ha ha ha ha hah!"

6. Queen (Loren Gray)

— The theme for the monumental scene where she drops the act and reveals her strength in the midst of the bizarre dolls. For love, the throws away her beauty. Which only leaves the boy beside her struck with awe at this new side of her.

"You can call me a princess all you like / 'Cause you like to keep me helpless by your side / But it ain't what I want, I'ma show you, I'ma show you / How to treat me like a queen /Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

/ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah / Boy, you better bow down on your knees / Can I get a "Yes, your majesty?"

7. You'll Be Safe Here (Rico Blanco)

— After Lizzy's unexpected revelation, the earl accepts her true self and begins to admire her more.

"Close your eyes, dry your tears / 'Cause when nothing seems clear / You'll be safe here from the sheer weight / Of your doubts and fears / Weary heart, you'll be safe here

... "And though the world would never understand / This unlikely union and why it still stands / Someday, we will be set free / Pray and believe"

8. So Close (Jon McLaughlin)

— The victory party after the second Sapphire Miracle has been memorable, not only for students, but also for the guests. Just for this one night, O!Ciel lets himself enjoy the night by dancing.. with her.

"A life goes by, romantic dreams must die / So I bid mine goodbye and never knew / So close was waiting, waiting here with you / And now forever I know / All that I want is to hold you so close

So close to reaching that famous happy ending / Almost believing this one's not pretend / Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come / So far we are so close"

9. You and I (Tatu)

— A song about the earl and the lady as a reflection of their circumstances, and their wish to protect. And wanting to believe.

"Just a side / To an anguished street, criticized/ For what we believe / If we hide, maybe we can make it through this / Is it fair, to be burned away? / Is it fair, that we live this way? /Victimized, for a life we didn't ask for

No truths to confirm / No lies to deny / Too hopeless to care /We're too scared to cry"

10. Smoke (PVRIS)

— Lizzy thinks she and her beloved have gotten closer, but have they? Somewhere in her mind, there is a small fuse waiting to be lit.

"You're just a ghost of blissful feelings / A cloud of smoke that I keep breathing / An illusion, I'm losing you to the games in my mind. / I see your face, an apparition / But now it's changed / Shape shifting / Don't wanna open my eyes."

11. Set Fire to the Rain (Adele)

— Just as Lizzy thought things will start changing for the better between them, small things that went unnoticeable at first are now telling her that something.. still feels not right.

"But there's a side to you / That I never knew, never knew /All the things you'd say / They were never true, never true / And the games you'd play / You would always win, always win"

12. Aoki Tsuki Michite (Book of Circus ED Theme, covered by AmaLee)

— A song where O!Ciel looks back on the choices he made, as he strengthens his resolve to go down the path he chose.

"Praise your palette of lies / For it's a masterpiece that you have created / All of your promises, bleeding in flawless harmony

Sing another spell, paint another dream / We could bring to life a new reality / All of my mistakes, gathering like storm clouds / Will soon rain down on me"

13. I Know You (Skylar Grey)

— Trying to ignore her doubts, Lizzy still continues to yearn to understand her fiancé who has changed and remained distant ever since that month. In her deepest wishes, she pleads to be allowed inside his heart.

"I believe, I believe there's love in you / Gridlocked on the dusty avenues / Inside your heart, just afraid to go / I am more, I am more than innocent / But just take a chance and let me in / And I'll show you ways that you don't know

Don't complicate it, don't let the past dictate, Yeah / I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith

So please, I know you, baby / I know you, baby / So please, I know you, baby / I know you, baby"

14. Demons (Imagine Dragons; covered by Sam Tsui & Kurt Hugo Schneider)

— Despite Lizzy's efforts, the earl remains distant. He has embraced the darkness and his impending end, and the only thing he believes he can do is to keep her at a distance, for more reasons than one.

"They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate / It's woven in my soul / I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright / I wanna save that light / I can't escape this now / Unless you show me how"

15. Leave the Memories Alone (Fuel)

— A song from the earl's POV, as he reminisces the past and how he wishes to keep Lizzy in the light.

"I wanted you.. to stay by the windowsill with the blooming roses."

"So I find me in your garden now / A sad smile for the scene / And all the flowers that we planted now / Taken by the weeds / But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me / They stand tall there, in that summer breeze

Leave the memories alone, I don't want to see / The way it is, as to how it used to be / Leave the memories alone, don't change a thing / And I'll just hold you here in my memory"

16. What Was I Made For? (Billie Eilish)

— Lizzy reflects on her duties as the future wife of the Queen's Watchdog, and her sadness at not being able to help or understand the earl. The growing distance between them makes her feel desperate for answers.

"I used to float, now I just fall down / I used to know, but I'm not sure now / What I was made for / What was I made for? / Takin' a drive, I was an ideal / Looked so alive, turns out, I'm not real / Just something you paid for / What was I made for?

'Cause I, I / I don't know how to feel, but I wanna try / I don't know how to feel, but someday I might / Someday I might"

17. Empty (PVRIS)

— Desperate to find a way to understand O!Ciel, Lizzy starts going to the Sphere Music Hall. However, what she finds there changes her forever.

"You see I want the world to believe, that there's a light inside of me / But it's time that I'll come clean / I'm not what I seem, no / Some would say I'm possessed, yeah / But I'll confess, I've just been obsessed / With life and death and emptiness, I guess / Can't you see all of the change in me?"

18. My Immortal (Evanescence)

— Lizzy remembers all the sacrifices she made for Ciel. She gave her heart for her betrothed, but now that she realizes her love has been given to two different people, where does her love for one end, and where does it begin for the other? Who does she really love? Somehow, she already knows the answer, and it is causing her anguish over her supposed love. *This song could be interpreted to be directed to both the twins, as Lizzy thought all this time that she was loving one person only.

"You used to captivate me by your resonating light / Now I'm bound by the life you left behind / Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams / Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal / This pain is just too real / There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears / When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears / And I held your hand through all of these years / But you still have all of me"

19. Stay With Me (Danity Kane)

— Lizzy is in disbelief after discovering that the Ciel she has been with for the past three years was not her true betrothed. She tries so hard to hold on to the image of O!Ciel, the boy who accepted her, and the fiance she has come to love with all her heart. However, the ugly, undeniable truth is right in front of her.

"I've searched my heart over so many many times / No you and I, is like no stars to light the sky at night / Our picture hangs up to remind me of the days / You promised me we'd always be / And never go away / That's why I need you to stay

Stay with me, don't let me go / Cause I can't be without you /Just stay with me and hold me close / Because I've built my world around you / And I don't wanna know what it's like without you / So stay with me, just stay with me, stay.."

20. Because of You (Kelly Clarkson)

— Looking back to the times she tried to keep up her cheerful facade and balancing it with her strong side in front of the boy she loved— O!Ciel, Lizzy finally shatters under the grief and heartache of learning his lie.

"I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh/ Every day of my life/ My heart can't possibly break / When it wasn't even whole to start with.."

"...Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything / Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in / Because of you

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty / Because of you / I am afraid"

21. Stand In The Rain (Superchick)

— She's mad, she's confused, she doesn't know what to do. She wants to return to the days where she doesn't know anything, and be by his side. But her duty is to remain here. Heartbroken, mad at herself and filled with guilt, she compensates by staying by R!Ciel's side.

"She won’t make a sound / Alone in this fight with herself / And the fears whispering if she stands she’ll fall down

She wants to be found / The only way out is through everything / She’s running from, wants to give up and lie down

So stand in the rain, stand your ground / Stand up when it’s all crashing down / You stand through the pain, you won’t drown / And one day what’s lost can be found / You stand in the rain"

22. Beautiful Girl (Broken Iris)

— O!Ciel's lies, mistakes and choices have finally come to haunt him. He realizes this as soon as his eyes met his twin brother's. And most of all, he finally discovers the reason why Lizzy left.

"Last embrace, forcing you away before it's too late / I end this day in a most bitter way / A regretful state but...

I'll never forget those eyes, that beautiful smile. I still remember the way you said "good-bye" / No matter how hard I try I can't forget about /

Beautiful Girl, on top of the world / Don't fall down, because an angel / Should never touch ground.."

23. Never Be The Same (Red)

— The sudden appearance of R!Ciel turns his world upside down. Remaining silent with a darkened expression on his face, a disheartened, regretful earl reminisces his memories with Lizzy

"I can see, I can still find /You're the only voice my heart can recognize /But I can't hear you now, yeah. /I'll never be the same / I'm caught inside the memories, the promises /Are yesterdays and I belong to you. / I just can't walk away, 'cause after loving you / I can never be the same."

24. Broken Inside (Broken Iris)

— Fighting despair, the earl descends further deep into the darkness. He is determined to take back everything, no matter what it takes.

"The thinning line between you and my sanity / Is quickly fading / Takes just a breeze to cause a storm /Takes just a breath to cause a scream / It takes me to cause a tragedy.."

"Until the end of me, I swear / You'll be the death of me / I dare you to cross the line again / Because deep down inside /There's something that waits to be / Broken Inside"

25. The Scientist (Coldplay)

— O!Ciel should have known that this is coming. He knew he lied, and was willing to take this to his grave. But he didn't expect to feel like this when it did happen. If only things have been different..

"Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions / Oh let's go back to the start / Running in circles; coming up tails / Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy / It's such a shame for us to part / Nobody said it was easy / No one ever said it would be this hard / Oh take me back to the start"

26. Descent Within (Broken Iris)

— Outro; the perfect ending for a story doomed to end in tragedy

[atamascolily]

We don't really get much information about the wraiths in the original PMMM series--just a few quick shots, enough to see they are seemingly identical giants wearing Buddhist-like robes with pixelated faces. They don't appear at all in Rebellion, and are only mentioned in passing there. So how did we get from that to this?

If the trailer hadn't made it explicitly clear these were wraiths--the word appears briefly in English, as well as Japanese and German--I never would have guessed. This looks... well, I don't want to say nothing like we've seen before, but all individuality or sense of separate personhood (such as it is) is has utterly vanished. It's as if all the wraiths that previously hunted in packs have been jammed together into one amorphous, distorted being... almost like a witch.

Oh, and they have color now! Is that supposed to mean anything?

Indeed, wraiths becoming magical girls and (essentially) witches is a major plot point of the 2015 Wraith Arc spin-off manga, which is technically considered canon even though a lot of people, myself included, prefer to ignore it. It's not clear to me at this point what the relationship is between the manga and Walpurgis no Kaiten, the script for which was written in late 2014-early 2015ish, but it's possible the movie might briefly touch on similar themes--though I doubt the wraiths will be major players in the narrative (kinda like the Nightmares in Rebellion).

So what's going on here? I can think of two possibilities:

1) There was an art shift (maybe Inu Curry wanted to try their hand at designing wraiths or something) and this is just what wraiths look like now, ho hum, nothing to see here 2) The art shift is a visual cue that the wraiths have fundamentally changed from what they were before.

As you can probably imagine, I think 2) is far more likely given how this show treats visual designs, but we'll have to see how it plays out.

My guess is that this scene from the trailer represents Homura's system breaking down, likely due to interference from her doppelganger, although the source of this disorder will likely not be immediately apparent. In order for witches to return--and given that the movie is named for the greatest witch of them all, herself a conglomerate of multiple entities--it seems likely that the wraiths will have to either disappear or transform, and this "mutation" that we see here may well be an indicator of this process.

Furthermore, the wraiths' condition are tied to that of the Law of Cycles, as they are, essentially, a stand-in for the witches erased by the Law of Cycles. So any problems with the wraiths are most likely a symptom of a larger problem rather than the cause, but it's the one that people with boots on the ground (i.e., magical girls) are most likely to notice first.

On a more speculative note, between Walpurgisnacht and whatever is going on with the wraiths (not to mention the Madoka-Homura-Mami hybrid), it seems like joining together in this fashion may be a major theme in Walpurgis no Kaiten. Or, as the Latin expression goes, E pluribus unum--"Out of many, one". Gives a new meaning to the phrase, "With all our powers combined!"

[innerchorus]

So I've seen a few people here and there speculating that Estelle will turn out to be Tahamenay's daughter, and tbh I was never convinced by it but today I found myself wondering 'well, what if...'

I'm not saying that I actually think it's going to happen but after some consideration I can see why others have it as a theory? (Fair warning, there will be some novel spoilers in this post.)

If it's not resolved or it turns out the child was dead all along like in the novels it feels like either a loose end or a very unfair ending for Tahamenay. Yeah, she's not my favourite character and the way she treated Arslan is harsh even if you understand why, but I still feel compassion for what she's been through and feel like she deserves to reunite with her missing child.

If she is going to meet her child, it would feel jarring for that child to pop up as a completely new character, whereas the revelation that the missing daughter is actually someone we already know would hit the right note. (Having said that, I feel like we'd have been picking up on some groundwork that hinted at it by now if it were true.)

Yeah, there's no real evidence that it's Estelle (sure, she must be about the right age, but there's no hint that she's not actually Lusitanian, and no evidence of the bracelet that the three candidate girls were given in novel canon) and maybe the main thing making people think this is that in the anime Estelle was said to be adopted whereas in the novels/manga she's the only child of a knight, but I do kind of like the thought that after seeing Arslan come to terms with the truth of his origins, she's faced with a shock of her own (and the woman who turned out not to be Arslan's mother is in fact her own).

In the absence of a tell-tale bracelet, how would we know that Estelle is the child of Tahamenay and Andragoras? Well, she could be able to draw Rukhnabad, and I think that would be a really fun moment! We've seen Hilmes draw the blade due to his royal blood, and we've seen Arslan unable to draw it due to his lack of it, which sets us up to understand what Estelle being able to draw the sword would mean. I can't deny it'd be a nice reveal!

Estelle's importance to Arslan and his to her is very clear. That's true regardless of whether anything romantic develops between them, but I keep thinking about the fact that in the novels, Narsus had the idea of marriage between Arslan and Tahamenay's daughter (if they can figure out who it is) as a way to join the old dynasty with the new. I imagine he (and Lushan, lol) would be all for this union if Estelle turned out to be the daughter of Tahamenay and Andragoras.

Would Estelle remain in Pars even if this were true, though? I'm really not sure. As such, I don't think it'd work as a plot point. And like I said, I don't actually subscribe to this theory myself, I just felt like taking a look at it in more detail.

[celepom]

FAVOURITE GRAPHIC NOVELS OF 2023

The Infinity Particle - By Wendy Xu

In this gorgeous graphic novel by Wendy Xu, co-creator of the award-winning Mooncakes, a young inventor falls for a lifelike AI and confronts questions of freedom and autonomy. Clementine Chang moves from Earth to Mars for a new start and is lucky enough to land her dream job with Dr. Marcella Lin, an Artificial Intelligence pioneer. On her first day of work, Clem meets Dr. Lin’s assistant, a humanoid AI named Kye. Clem is no stranger to robots—she built herself a cute moth-shaped companion named SENA. Still, there’s something about Kye that feels almost too human. When Clem and Kye begin to collaborate, their chemistry sets off sparks. The only downside? Dr. Lin is enraged by Kye’s growing independence and won’t allow him more freedom. Plus, their relationship throws into question everything Clem thought she knew about AI. After all, if Kye is sentient enough to have feelings, shouldn’t he be able to control his own actions? Where is the line between AI and human? As her past and Kye’s future weigh down on her, Clem becomes determined to help him break free—even if it means risking everything she came to Mars for.

Not Sew-Wicked Stepmom - By i r u, Yir, Mo9Rang

Once upon a time, there was a lovely young princess who suffered under her cruel stepmother…that is, until a children’s clothing designer is reborn as the evil stepmother! All the new Queen Abigail Friedkin wants to do is dote on the adorable Princess Blanche and give her the happy childhood she deserves. The problem is, the previous Abigail has garnered a reputation for being extremely jealous and materialistic—and to top it off, her smile is the stuff of children’s nightmares! Will Abigail be able to convince her stepdaughter that she might not be so wicked after all? 

(TW, childhood SA of the main male lead)

Until I Love Myself: The Journey of a Nonbinary Manga Artist

A bravely blunt autobiography about confronting the tangled traumas of gender dysphoria and workplace sexual harassment. Nonbinary manga artist Poppy Pesuyama is excited when forms offer the option to choose “neither” for gender and thrilled about their new job working as an assistant for mangaka X! But then he sexually harasses them, treating them first like a girl and then like something less than human. It only lasts a few months, but in some ways it never ends. Born into a body they hate and still reeling from the abuse they faced seven years ago, Pesuyama begins to rail at their past, their friends, and even their mother as they try to come to terms with who they are and what happened to them.

Belle of the Ball - By Mari Costa

High-school senior and notorious wallflower Hawkins finally works up the courage to remove her mascot mask and ask out her longtime crush: Regina Moreno, head cheerleader, academic overachiever, and all-around popular girl. There’s only one teensy little problem: Regina is already dating Chloe Kitagawa, athletic all-star…and middling English student. Regina sees a perfectly self-serving opportunity here, and asks the smitten Hawkins to tutor Chloe free of charge, knowing Hawkins will do anything to get closer to her. And while Regina’s plan works at first, she doesn’t realize that Hawkins and Chloe knew each other as kids, when Hawkins went by Belle and wore princess dresses to school every single day. Before long, romance does start to blossom…but not between who you might expect. With Belle of the Ball, cartoonist Mariana Costa has reinvigorated satisfying, reliable tropes into your new favorite teen romantic comedy.

The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich - By Deya Muniz

Lady Camembert wants to live life on her own terms, without marriage. Well, without marrying a man, that is. But the law of the land is that women cannot inherit. So when her father passes away, she does the only thing she can: She disguises herself as a man and moves to the capital city of the Kingdom of Fromage to start over as Count Camembert.   But it’s hard to keep a low profile when the beautiful Princess Brie, with her fierce activism and great sense of fashion, catches her attention. Camembert can’t resist getting to know the princess, but as the two grow closer, will she able to keep her secret?   A romantic comedy about mistaken identity, true love, and lots of grilled cheese.

[huginsmemory]

hi :) 🔥 maybe for vashwood or just trigun in general

Hello, and why thank you for the ask! This is a spicy one hahaha. Uhm, I definitely do have a few bones to pick with vashwood and trigun, and yup if you're like oh no is this about stampede (cough, low hanging fruit...) Then. Uhm. yeah it is. Sorry. I have a few thoughts about it, and why I really dislike (sorry stampede enjoyers) the choices for the characterization for Vash and Wolfwood, including the feminization of Vash. And also... how part of these characterizations are related to classical yaoi shipping dynamic tropes and how it may or may not be intentional (I'm gifting u a conspiracy haha). And then my own opinions on these changes and the reception of the new characterizations. These thoughts have been rolling around in my brain for a while but I wasn't sure if I wanted to post it since it's a bit spicy. But. Well. This is as good a sign as any.

I'll be going over the differences in Wolfwoods characterization, in Vash's characterization and his feminization in stampede, and then how this relates to yaoi shipping dynamics and Vashwood fandom reception (and my personal feelings around it...).

Also, this ended up being... Really long. Oops. I've highlighted the TLDR paragraphs in red for those who want to skim. If u want to just be like, wow spicy take with no context... Go to the last paragraph lol.

Preface and acknowledgement

I want to preface this with that I haven't actually watched Stampede, although I have quite heavily engaged with secondary material about it, ie gifs, meta posts, etc. So I suppose one can take my opinions with a grain of salt; to really form a full opinion on the series, I would have to watch stampede myself, of which I have zero time to do and maybe at one point I'll get around to. This is also why I've been reluctant to get into my thoughts... but from what I've seen of it, I've got a few bones to pick.

Yes, I may be a bit of a hater (ah... such a strong word...) but I do want to acknowledge that stampede has revived the trigun fandom, and hell, I wouldn't have read the manga without it. So credit where credits due, and it's very exciting to engage with the fandom for the first time and see it grow so much in such a short time. Also, yes, I am one of those people who watched the 98 version quite a while ago, so for me it's something that is nostalgic. Call me blinded by nostalgia all u want. If stampede is what first got you into trigun-- congrats! I'm not here to invalidate your experience; stampede is simply another iteration of trigun (even if I disagree with some of the characterizations), and I highly recommend you check out the manga as well. I'm very happy to have you here in the fandom!

Wolfwood's characterization

As some other people have noted here- stamp!ww is a bit different then ww in trimax or the 98, while the cut-copy-paste of the tragic orphange background stays the same (Nightow, you're so over the top. I love it).

Within 98 and trimax, ww is a bit rough around the edges, but is overall friendly, kind, charismatic and a bit goofy (a character trait these ww's share with Vash, which they both use it in a way to mask their darker parts of their lives). Sure, wolfwood in these iterations have zero issues calling people out on their bullshit and is willing to manipulate people around him into doing the greater good- but is shown to be gruffly genuinely caring about people when he can help (especially children), even if he still chooses to kill people when it comes down to it. This can be seen with 98!ww getting Vash to sign up for the tournament to help the single mum and her kid, and the way trimax!Wolfwood treats Milly during the midvalley fight because he's worried about her getting seriously injured, even going to the point of injuring her himself. Sure, he's not going to declare his care verbally to people, but he doesn't need to do that when he's actively doing things that clearly shows he cares for people, especially those he's created ties to, even if he chooses to be violent/forceful when he believes what he is doing is for the best.

This charismatic friendliness and kindness is generally stripped from Stamp!Wolfwood; sure, he cares deep down as is displayed by the orphange and his concern later in the series for Vash, but through his actions with others, there's a noticible lack of general feeling of kindness behind his overstepping of people boundaries compared to og!ww. As another user in here put it, Stamp!ww is a bit of a dick. He has harsh commentary to the group and one of the first things you do is see him rip off Meryl and Roberto with his undertaker job over literal dead bodies when he's introduced. Nor does he really get to be redeemed through showing his care for children, such as at the bus stop where he gives away most of his money or food to begging children, opting to go hungry himself; it instead being replaced by him giving a lolipop to Zazie... which doesn't count for shit. This post by chibivesicles does a really good job of summarizing it from the fourth episode.

ID: 3 images, each of different iterations of Wolfwood giving something away to a child. First is 98, with ww giving away two of his three food ration bars to two scruffy children, the second from the manga with ww giving away two of his three coins to two scruffy children while Vash watches on, and the third with ww offering a sucker to Zazie while Meryl and Vash watch on.

Overall, the gist I've gotten of Stampede's iteration is that they very much boxed Wolfwood into the typical anime tsundere black-haired brooding character, stripping out his previous goofy and friendly charisma as well as his general feeling of kindness to fit that character trope better.

Vash's Characterization

Vash within 98 and trimax is also pretty different from stamp!Vash; I find this difference to specifically come from stamp!Vash feeling more naive, less driven and well--a bit spineless. The differences come down to two things; Vash having a strong moral spine which he is willing to call people out on due to righteous anger and Vash being emotionally detached from the people around him. Sure, og Vash (going to just use this to refer to 98 and trigun manga together) is goofy, cheerful and shows his emotions on his sleeve, but he doesn't actually let people become close to him. It's delibrate, and most of it specifically revolves around obfuscating that he's a plant and his goal of trying to chase Knives down; thus, he adopts a lifestyle of travelling and rarely staying long in areas, and so you see that his relationship with people are pretty surface level, even through his friendliness.

Three specific incidents within the series and their differences illustrate the emotional distance, and the righteous fury of og!Vash's in comparison to stamp!Vash. This includes Vash's childhood and relationship to the people on the seeds ship after the fall, Brad questioning their trust in Vash as he isn't human, and Wolfwood killing someone to save Vash.

Firstly, for Vash's childhood after the fall, within stampede he's pretty quickly picked up by the seeds ship, which hosts him, and they immediately are able to identify that he is an independent plant. They know more about him than he knows really about himself, and they also are generally aware about the fall (although not the exact details until later). Vash is raised for a while under their tutelage, and ends up helping heal plants, overall forming bonds with them even if they treat him a bit rough in the beginning, and Luida becomes mom #2.

ID: Screenshot from tristamp, of the photo on Vash's bedroom table, of him with all the seeds ship people he was working with.

In 98, no information is really given, but presumably is something somewhat similar to trimax. In trimax, after the fall Vash literally wanders the wastes with Knives for about 70 years, until Knives cuts Vash's arm off in anger at Vash's insistence that people shouldn't be killed, even when he's literally at the mercy of a town that is going to kill him and sell his organs. It is assumed sometime not long after Vash gets picked up by the seeds ship people, as it is mentioned that theyve known him for 70 years. Vash during these 80 years is very alone, with only his brother as company who is angry and abusive, as is directly pointed out within the manga. The two of them are presumed to be eking out a living travelling around the harsh wastes, and as displayed by the human organ stealing town, it is clear that often human settlements are just another possibility of danger due to crime and violence as a result of limited resources.

ID: two manga pages. First is just a panel showing Vash's flashbacks to violent traumatic instances of his childhood, showing a montage of him yelling, holding a gun, and crouched over a man who is dead and bleeding out looking panicked and horrified.

The second page is Knives while they are traveling together in the desert, looking down at Vash and calling him over. Vash looks at Knives, and he narrates that "It was about 80 years after the fall. Time passed slowly, but we neither grew nor parted. I knew I couldn't leave him alone. That thought alone determined the distance between us." Vash and Knives are clearly distant from each other in the panel, Vash in the foreground and Knives indistinguishable other than a silhouette at the top of the sand dune in the hindground.

In comparison, although it's not easy for Vash either in stampede, his childhood is cushier and less lonely. This loneliness and harsh environment that trimax!Vash exists within adds a depth of experience to his ethics, informing his righteous anger over everything that is morally wrong and should have never been, that makes him speak out, providing him a stronger spine which stamp!Vash doesn't have. This intensely lonely part of his upbringing also gives him an emotional independence, or even detachment, from most people he interacts with, in comparison to stamp!Vash who is emotionally dependent (and seems less mature) due to his ties to the seeds ship people.

As in tristamp, the closest people to Vash in trimax are the people on the seeds ships (also Lina and her grandma, but they don't know who he is when they take him in). Although he's the most open with them (ie, they know about Knives and his plans), during the visit to the seeds ship you are still given the idea that while Vash knows everyone and cares greatly for them, Vash is still generally emotionally independent from them, and doesn't form intimate relationships with people (especially compared to stamp!Vash). Interestingly, the manga implies when they first visit that they don't know what he is exactly, just that he's functionally immortal, as that when Luida talks about him to Wolfwood, she doesn't mention that he's a plant. Overall, compared to the outside people, the people on the seeds ship know more, and are more aware of how to use the old technology (it's also something that is hinted that some of it is possibly taught to them by Vash over the years), but they are not more knowledgeable then Vash, with Vash likely about the same level or more knowledgeable then them about general 'lost tech' and plant related things. As well, the people on the seeds ship in trimax are entirely unaware of circumstances around the fall--and Vash never tells them either. The visit to the seeds ship trimax functions as a way to allow the reader to distinctly comprehend Vash's age, and how Vash is really quite a terribly lonely character, as he is doomed to watch those he cares about die (which also informs why he likely doesn't really let people get very close to him, along with practical matters). This is directly pointed out in Luida's conversation with Wolfwood and Wolfwoods own inner monologue, as well as being alluded to by Jessica's locket, and Brad's grumblings. From the explanations you get the sense that Vash is emotionally independent and in a way, detached from people's opinions of him as a result of his longevity, with his constant travelling only ensuring that.

This is very different to the relationship of stamp!Vash with the seeds ship, as Vash is shown to have emotionally dependant relationships with the people on the seeds ship, with them literally raising him as a child, and this 'parent-child' relationship is only emphasized by them knowing more than Vash does about independent plants. Instead of emphasizing how Vash is old and outside of time, the dynamic gives Vash as a character an overall young and naive slant to his character, even if they still do drop the 'he's 150 years old' line when the stamp gang visits the ship.

This emotional dependence/independence directly corroborates to the differences in Vash's response to Brad's comment on him not trusting him, as something non-human. Within stampede, as Vash is young, he flees, feeling rejected--indicating a strong emotional dependence on those on the seeds ships for acceptance of who he is. However, within Trimax, Vash acknowledges Brad's comment, and actually validates and agrees with Brad's concerns; he's aware enough that who and what he is something to be feared and suspicious of (especially as by this time, the fifth moon incident, and July has occurred) and is worried about this himself; however, he simply requests Brad to trust him in this. Trimax!Vash's is emotionally independent, from Brad's rejection, a person who is part of the community that he is closest to; he accepts what Brad says, but also stands firm on his request from the community and his continued association with them, focused on his goals of stopping Knives. It's a scene that originally shows Vash's emotional independence from what others think of him (although he is saddened by it), and displays his maturity and acceptance when others reject him for who he is.

ID: Five pages of the manga. First page, Brad (in his early 20's) scoffs at Vash being called human. Second, Brad accuses Vash as a plague bringer in light of the fifth moon incident being brought up, grabbing him by his collar. Vash closes his eyes, then looks up at Brad, gaze steely, replying, "yeah that is possible". Third page, Vash asks Brad "Won't... you trust me? Please. Brad?". Vash looks sorrowful but is serious. Fourth page, Brad responds by saying "Ones who live outside of time, huh... In thirteen years... even though my hands have grown this big... You... Haven't really changed at all". The words are over-laid on an image of Brad's small hands reaching up to Vash when he was a child, and a smaller panel has Brad looking disturbed. The fifth page has Brad angrily stomping out of the room calling out "Everyone in the older generation may trust you... But you're not convincing me!". Vash then responds by saying to the older man in the room, that "I see what you mean. From the standpoint of a normal human I must be a monster.".

This is entirely turned on its head within tristamp to a scene that displays emotional dependence on people and an inability to accept rejection, displaying a immature, self-conscious, and younger version of Vash. Obviously, he is still younger at this point, but this immaturity and emotional dependence is one that still persists within the narrative of stampede, and influences your view of Stamp!vash. One could argue that then learning the details of why the ships fell is something Vash feels more guilty about, and so takes Brad's criticism harder, and flees. However, no matter what, this is a immature reaction. Interestingly, this portrayal of Vash having an emotional dependence on humans accepting him, is quite contrary to trimax, as this trait is actually one that specifically emphasized to belong to Knives, while trimax!Vash is shown to be emotionally detached and generally uninterested in their acceptance by humans.

ID: Screencap from stampede, Vash against the door looking shocked and horrified as he hears Brad say "he's never been on the side of us humans!".

The third thing is the scene where Wolfwood kills a man for Vash. Within stampede, Rollo is killed; Vash is angry at Wolfwood for doing so, grabbing Wolfwoods collar, but with a few strong words of a reminder of the harshness of general existence from wolfwood, Vash shuts up and is shown to just be sad, if a bit withdrawn/sulky with Wolfwood. Within Trimax, this scene is technically a rolling together of multiple arcs, but specifically thematically wise is a revamp of when he faces off with Rai-dei the Blade. When Wolfwood kills Rai-dei, Vash literally slaps Wolfwood hard in anger, resulting in them get into a fight, with Wolfwood retaliating by slamming Vash down to the ground in anger, and culminating in him pressing his loaded handgun into Vash hands, pointing it at his own head, and telling him to shoot; Vash then derogatorily calls Wolfwood a coward and they break up the fight, both still very angry at each other. In this, Vash clearly has very strong morals and is unafraid to call Wolfwood out when he transgresses them, full of righteous fury. None of this anger is transposed into stamp!Vash, who just looks sad about all of it; sure, he has values, but they feel like he fumbles with them, unsure and unwilling to speak up for them in an assertive way, crumbling underneath any criticism.

ID: first image is three panels from tristamp, and second is five pages of the manga, both detailing Vash calling out Wolfwood on killing.

First of the three panels has Vash grasping ww collar, looking angry; Wolfwood says "mercy" in response to the unseen question asked by Vash. He then goes on to say "there's no way to return his humanity", and Vash is looking down, fists clenched. Wolfwood continues, saying that "at best, it's all talk" about Vash's beliefs. Vash looks hollow and distressed.

The second, the first page has ww shooting Rai-dei; Vash responds in horror. Second page has Vash slap Wolfwood, yelling "why? Why did you shoot him?! Wolfwood?", to glare up at him. Third page has ww slam Vash onto the ground, Vash looks shocked, arms around his head to protect it. Ww glares down at Vash, saying "are you really such an idiot? If I hadn't shot him, it would be you lying there." Fourth page has Wolfwood holding Vash's hand with his own handgun in it against his forehead. Wolfwood tells Vash to "SHOOT." Fifth panel has Wolfwood telling Vash that he is a chickenshit for not being able to kill him. Vash then responds by calling Wolfwood a coward.

Something that's also interesting about the righteous anger that drives og!vash, is that its specifically because of his righteous anger, that he comes very close to killing people (Monev the gale, and how he's originally in the trigun manga before trimax presumably tracking down Knives to kill him after July, to some degree the rapist in the train)--and violating his ethics. This anger--and Vash's very real possibility of him killing someone out of a feeling of righteous fury, or a feeling of just righteousness--adds further dimension to Vash as a character, because you see that he also struggles with his no kill rule, even if he staunchly stands by it. Which... without this feeling of righteous anger, it takes out Vash's dilemmas around killing others.

To summarize the above, stamp!Vash lacks the righteous anger that og!Vash has around his belief of forgiveness and second chances (of a blank ticket), and as a result fails to confront others assertively when presented with things that go against his beliefs. Stamp!Vash also lacks the emotional independence that he previously had as a result of a harsh and lonely upbringing and his travelling lifestyle and his inability to age; instead he forms an emotional dependence and connections with them. Generally, the two characters have a very different relationship with the people in the seeds ship, which makes trimax vash seem older and more mature, while Stamp!vash feels more young and naive.

Vash and Femininity

Vash as a character has always been portrayed in a somewhat feminine light; Nightow even specifically has said that he purposely designed the angel arm with feminine elements, as the act of creation is correlated to the feminine. In much the same way, plants are drawn feminine, likely to correlate to the same feminine=creation manner. Thus, his relations to the angel arm, and plants he is given a feminine slant to his character. As well, Vash is shown to be open (ie, crying in public multiple times) and shown to be (at least somewhat) emotionally competent with his emotions, as that empathy (and Rem's instructions) is the core of his belief of pacifism and no-kill policy. These emotional related traits are, well, very commonly perceived to be feminine traits. Vash is also quite pretty in a more delicate (feminine) way, especially with his teardrop mole; he's not 'ruggedly' handsome like Wolfwood, in a more traditionally 'masculine' way. As well, Vash as a character is shown to be a more passive character, as the majority of trimax and 98 has the plot occurring to Vash, rather then Vash actively seeking out and causing changes within the narrative. This passivity within the narrative also is commonly found correlated to female roles, who often aren't active agents of the narrative. This can especially be seen in comparison to active 'male' roles, such as is played out by Knives who is majorly making decisions that move the plot forward (although Knives himself has gender fuckery going on. Nightow likes gender fuckery. On a related note, I love u Elendira and I'm so sorry what they did to you in tristamp that's horrendous). This is also related to how repeatedly within trigun the issue of bodily autonomy and choice is brought up--within plants of course, but also Vash's bodily autonomy is clearly violated multiple times, such as within July, and the fifth moon incident by Knives (and this relates, and this immensely good post put it, also to Vash's insistence on not killing, which is the most ultimate form of violation of bodily autonomy). Bodily autonomy (and the lack of it) is also something deeply related to woman's issues (among others, such as general minority groups).

So overall, even within Trimax and 98, Vash is quite clearly traditionally feminine coded, as can be seen in relation to his angel arm, his emotional openness, his physical features of being 'pretty', his passivity within the narrative and his lack of bodily autonomy. However, even within these feminine traits, og!Vash still comes off as masculine; the breadth of his shoulders and triangle shaped body indicates that, as well as his righteous anger and willingness to speak up against ethical issues are typically seen as masculine traits. Within 98 and trimax he's essentially coded as a feminine-leaning man.

Stamp!Vash however, is a different can of worms. His character still carries the feminine traits as is detailed above, but as previously discussed, specifically lacks the righteous anger that gives og!Vash a backbone and a willingness to stand up for transgressions against his ethics. This further emphasis on passivity of Vash strips him of one of the defining 'masculine' traits of anger, further sliding him along the masculine-feminine spectrum to a more feminine character. As well, with the character revamp making Vash more lithe, rather then giving him broad shoulders, and his hair cut is more of a non-binary haircut vs something that could be argued to be more masculine, further effeminates him as a character. Not to mention the work he's been doing, which is being a plant engineer, specifically involves with caring for and nurturing plants--which directly correlates to a emotionally sensitive nurturing role, one which it is also correlated to a feminine role. This especially so when it's shown that this iteration of Vash is clearly emotionally sensitive too and dependant on the people from the seeds ship, another 'feminine' trait. As well, within stampedes Vash rarely fires his gun... In comparison to 98 and trimax, where you see him fire it quite frequently, to incapacitate people. Comfort with firing a gun, and just general use of a weapon is another traditionally masculine trait. Overall, Vash within Stampede is almost entirely devoid of any masculine traits and is comprised of almost all feminine traits--passive both in narrative and in character, feminine in his work, his build, his goddamn haircut, his bodily autonomy-- with basically the only thing not is that he's not canonically female.

Stamp!Vash feminization and Fandom Reception

This has quite obviously been picked up by the fandom, with many people with trans!Vash headcanons. As per my experience of generally keeping an eye on the ao3 feed, in fact, a large majority of Vashwood fanfiction is of afab trans Vash, with another majority of xeno/intersex Vash; in fact, it's a rarity to find a fic specifically detailing a non trans or intersex Vash within the newer AO3 works. Interestingly, this is quite different then the works previously found within Vashwood on AO3, pre-stamp; these works are primarily with a amab non-trans Vash. It'd be interesting to actually run the numbers, but I'm too lazy to do that. This difference I've observed within pre and post stamp I bet is a result of these changes to Vash's character, making him more feminine--and more likely to be pegged (pun intended) as a trans or intersex character, especially one that has a vagina (specifically, vaginal sex within explicit fics is a very common tag within the Vashwood ao3 feed).

Stamp!Vashwood and Yaoi Tropes

Something that has been personally mildly bugging me about the stampede vashwood is the common yaoi trope of when there are two gay characters, one needs to assume to traditionally feminine role (nurturing, emotional, passive), while the other keeps the traditionally masculine role (in charge, often unable/unwilling to express emotions ) within the relationship. As well, a popular trope within the traditionally masculine role is for the character to be tsundere, heavily leaning into the character being emotionally incompetent and just generally being a dick. This... almost too well fits the changes to both Vash and Wolfwoods characters. Stamp!Wolfwood is now squarely a tsundere and a bit of a dick, as well as dark and brooding, rather then a charming if gruff and rough around the edges character that is goofy and kind (but still dark and brooding). In the meantime, Vash is further feminized, his righteous anger replaced by passivity, fitting that role of a female character perhaps a little too well.

The rest of stampede has been heavily revamped to cater to a modern Japanese audience; this can be seen with the use of Japanese ranking systems within the Eye of Micheal that didn't exist, the stripping of a lot of Christian themes from the show, the swap to a sci-fi genre instead of western and the re-vamping of the character designs. In a similar way, revamping the characters into character types and tropes the Japanese audience is familiar with wouldn't be a stretch; and especially so tropes found within yaoi that very easily can invite shipping, if you as a director recognize the potential of Vashwood as a ship to get people invested into a show. Which, quite evidently, the director may aware of, as he's been liking copious amounts of fanart, including Vashwood. He also has a quote attributed to him about how Vash acts as both a female and male character. So, did the feminization of Vash and heavily emphasized tsundere attitude of Wolfwood come about as (at least a part of) a result of a yaoi bait ploy to get people invested into tristamp? Honestly, I don't know, but it fits the tropes so well that some parts of the stamp!vashwood rubs me the wrong way (even if I'm marinating myself within the fandom). It's especially fishy that one of the people involved with the production is liking vashwood stuff shows that people involved in making decisions for the show are aware (and even encouraging) the ship. The fandoms also been around for quite a while, so it would be easy enough to tap into the fandom to see what was popular--and what they could potentially exploit. Interestingly, the way they're setting up tristamp also leans into yaoi bait for Knives x Vash as well, heavily leaning into Knives being like 'everything I did was for you Vash' in an obvious way, which wasn't really the case with trimax... But that's another can of worms. More attention, the better I suppose.

If it's true, characters where changed for more shipping potential, does this matter really? In a grand scheme of things, no. I mean, yaoi bait is obviously utilized in many anime media, just look at Drrr! and the shizuo x izaya ship. The author is plenty aware of what they are doing and leaning hard into it, knowing its popularity, and exploiting that. So it goes. Obviously, its not necessarily a 'bad change' if they decided to change the characters partly for shipping; that's something people get to decide for themselves. Besides, this new iteration of trigun with a more feminine Vash allows for a heavier emphasis on bodily autonomy, especially in regards to femininity as that one post linked above goes into. However, that said, does it matter to me, who is chewing through drywall thinking about the complexities of Wolfwood and Vash and their relationship in trimax? Yeah, absolutely. A little more on that below.

Personal opinions on everything above

If you don't want to read me griping on personally about tristamp then you can just skip this section. It's just me being boring and predictable.

Personally, I miss the og versions of Wolfwood and Vash; I miss the righteous anger that Vash has, I miss their designs and big shoulders and Wolfwoods goofiness and kindness. As well, as much as I love the trans headcanons that are coming out of stampede, as a masc leaning NB individual I really enjoyed the masculine but also emotionally sensitive version of Vash. This especially so as a part of me feels uncomfortable that people look at a male character that is essentially fulfilling a feminine role and go, oh, he's an afab transman, specifically because of his close connotations with femininity. Like, fuck gender expectations and norms and all that, but for me I'm a bit uncomfortable with that assertion (btw this is not me being like u guys need to stop--we're all allowed our opinions, and y'all seem to be enjoying yourself, so go ham I guess). Also, just personally, I've never particularly identified with feminine characters, especially passive female characters, which stamp!Vash very much feels like.

Perhaps part of it is also that I relate a great amount to og!Vash's righteous anger over everything that is occurring, being a part of a cultural minority myself, and being so terribly angry over how I've seen my people be treated. I've also got an abusive sibling with anger issues that lashes out, so seeing Vash struggle with his relationship with Knives, being so terribly angry over everything Knives has put him through (technically, more about others then himself but I digress), along with his confusion and dilemma over still caring about and loving his sibling is also so very validating. So stripping that underlying righteous anger about everything to just make him sad™ makes him less relatable to me. Where is your anger over everything??? where is it?? Come on man, bare your teeth to the world.

Maybe also part of it is also related to just... acknowledging that male characters can be kind. This is probably related to why I dislike that ww has just become a tsundere and kind of a dick. Give him his friendly charisma and kindness back u cowards, I'll beat you with a stick. Dark brooding tsundere's are dime a dozen! Rough around the edges and dangerous but still kind and a bit silly and friendly men who are riddled with guilt? Shiningly beautiful.

Overall, all meta analysis and conspiracy theories (character flattening of wolfwood and vash to fit yaoi tropes) aside, I guess what I'm trying to say is that my 🔥 spicy 🔥 trigun/vashwood opinion is that I don't particularly like this very heavily feminized version of Vash which the fandom seems to be quite happily enjoying. This is both because his righteous anger is stripped out which I relate too and that I (masc NB) feel somewhat uncomfortable that he's often considered a afab transman due to specifically his feminine traits.

EDIT (MAR 27): a post script with further thoughts I suppose, especially after reading this post by @paiteyy , which describes the stripping of more canonical queerness within Stampede--and the way specifically that Meryl seems to be given some of Wolfwoods roles from trimax, in relation to likely making her stampedes 'canonical' ship... in comparison to how trimax Wolfwood and Vash spend a majority of the time together and form deep emotional connections. If they are rearranging tristamp to further cement Meryl into a heavier role of love interest, then it would make sense for her to take over some of Wolfwoods actions. This also falls in line with how they've gone out of their way to give Meryl a bigger backstory and create conditions for character growth... while simultaneously simplifying many of the other characters, especially Wolfwood. Interestingly, this actually falls in line with the tristamp creators being very invested and shuffling things around to fit shipping tropes to rope in a bigger audience; by moving Meryl to the front they can get a canonical het ship for the general audience (much like the 98 version did in a way--cause clearly every show the mc needs a clear love interest), while also ensuring to lean into sub-textual yaoi tropes to rope in others which would be interested in queer ships.

Also photo ID's were added :D

PLUS: here's the link to more of my meta posts if you liked this.

[etaindelaserna]

https://www.tumblr.com/dnana-2809-blog/743741093260230656/what-do-you-think-are-yuuji-and-sukunas-greatest?source=share

Hello 👋

Just found your post. I'm surprised when reading that, as a new fan, you can really understand their personality so much. Now that we've seen the end of Sukuna, and you have read more of the manga, do you want to add something to your previous post?

As SukuIta and Dramione lover, I'm surprised when I found your blog. Hello, kindred spirit! So excited to find someone who love these ships.

Just want to say, I've been blocked by my old dramione group when they find out I also love m/m & f/f ships. Yes, I still love dramione (my first ship) and a lot other m/f ships but now I've come to love m/m & f/f ships too. It's not wrong, right?

Also, thanks to you, I start to love Kakashi/Sakura ship, never thought about them before (saying this as Naruto fan and NaruSasu shipper). I just knew, I really hate Sakura/Sasuke ship since I was young, like he always dislike and disrespect her, how can people like that ship?

Sorry for my rambles...

Hello to you, too^^

Rambles are always welcome here! I think it comes natural to us, when we're excited about things and when we meet someone, who shares our thoughts.

Awww, thanks :) There are most defintely fans out there, who have a way better understanding of Yuuji and Sukuna than I have, but I guess going to university and studying literature wasn't a total waste of time^^

Good question. Do I want to add something about Yuuji and Sukuna's greatest strengths/weakness and their dynamic together? I think Yuuji stayed true to himself even in the last few chapters, so there wasn't as big of development in terms of character as I thought we might get to see. He started out as a Jedi and remained a Jedi till the end. What changed, was, that he understood he couldn't force his will (even when it was with good intentions) on others. He can't save someone, who doesn't want to be saved. And that's not an easy thing to accept. It's not his role. Also this whole idea that people aren't just tools and wortless if they don't obtain a certain role was a big change from Yuuji's mindset during the Shibuya arc. Although Yuuji was a compassionate character from the start, it still surprised me that he was able to offer Sukuna a chance, although he loathes Sukuna for his views. That's ... that took so much strength and willpower. As for Sukuna: he did understand Yuuji's ideal perfectly well but wasn't able or at least seemed to think it's not something he can adapt to or change for, which seems to be the only limitation wasn't able to master. Sooo...Sukuna admitted in the end that Yuuji was right, which I consider a stength.

I mean ... SukuIta and Dramione aren't too far off theme-wise: two characters, whose ideals are clashing. It's perfect!

Shipping m/m and f/f ships doesn't make you less of a Dramione shipper and everybody who think's that needs to grow up. I ship only m/f Harry Potter ships (mostly paired with Hermione), but who am I to tell somebody what he/she can or cannot ship? o_O So no: it's not wrong. Our taste in ships is allowed to change. Period.

I think that's probably the first time that somebody said, I got them interested in a ship and all I can say is: I hope KakaSaku doesn't disappoint you. I always liked about them that Kakashi took Sakura's feelings and pain seriously and that he was there for her when she needed it. It was always in such a stark contrast to how Sasuke treated her that I couldn't help but notice. I did actually ship SasuSaku for a little while. This whole "I can't allow myself to love her that's why I push her away" worked for me until he was actually about to kill her... Sasuke was dead for me afterwards. Character assassination. Kishi was never able to fix it again, because not even in the ninja world you can just brush this off.

[luveline]

hi jade ^^ this might be a little weird and feel free to not answer but i was wondering if you have any advice against feeling lonely and blue? i recently moved in my new flat for my last year of uni and since im living by myself, im finding im overthinking a lot since i have a lot of free time and not many friends as im not very approachable despite trying - ive been reading your fics in the meantime to stave off this feeling and theyre providing me sm comfort, your sad loser readers always feel so fitting so thank you for sharing them w us!!

Well sometimes gorgeous I don't think there is a way to escape that feeling! Which sucks, but I hope you aren't too hard on yourself, you know! I think that loneliness can be just like hunger where you need to eat or you need to spend time with others to make it go away, and sometimes you can't and that's not your fault! When I'm feeling lonely and blue I try to spend some time chatting to a friend or my sisters but I know that's not always possible either, so there's other stuff! It's good to have a hobby, something intricate that you can be proud of, like I think having a craft you can gain skill in can be really good for you, but there's definitely other things to occupy you if that's not your thing, like for example card collecting or jigsaws and stuff like that.

I'm a huge overthinker I make myself sick worrying about stuff, and jigsaws genuinely saved me a few months ago! It's hard to think about anything else when you're doing a puzzle. There are even puzzles you can get that are 3D, but for free you can do them on your phone. It's super low pressure because you can't make too many mistakes but not repetitive enough to let you think about other things too much. There's also bracelet making, cross stitch, alpha bracelet/key chain making, these are all things that you have to pay attention or you'll mess up, so it stops you from overthinking about other things.

If you're blue I'm a big believer of treating yourself exactly how you'd treat a friend, a partner, or a loved one. It's easy to blame your loneliness on yourself. Maybe if you were more approachable, you'd have more friends, you'd feel less lonely —but being approachable isn't something you have complete control over, imo. Obviously there are things you can do to be friendly, but there's no shame at all in being introverted or finding it hard to connect with people, it just isn't as easy for some as it is for others. And sometimes making friends can STILL leave you lonely, which is basically my big long way of saying that I hope you're being nice to yourself about how you're feeling. And what I'm about to say is stolen from a friend, but sometimes you need to take care of yourself to feel better, like making sure you're eating well, sleeping if you can. Also! This might sound silly but I read a graphic novel /manga called My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness and something she did to feel better was again to take care of herself, like making sure none of her underwear had holes, and to stay clean and well presented. I'm not sure if that's good advice because maybe you can't afford to buy new underwear or maybe you have all the clothes you need, but when I started to do that and to look after myself with small steps, it did make me feel better. I worry that shame and loneliness are hand in hand (like, I'm lonely because I deserve to be) because they feed into each other, so definitely take care of yourself if you can!

There's also silly stuff you can do to immediately feel better, like getting up for stretches, a loud burst of karaoke, chocolate. Sometimes I feel better by watching a movie I loved when I was a kid, or reading bits of old books. I also think there's no shame in doing 'lame' stuff like pretending you're in a YouTube video or experimenting with stupid stuff you've never done before, like Bob Ross tutorials and baking and all that stuff. I think sometimes I feel lonely because I feel as though I'm bad company to myself, so if you can manage to be kind to yourself and keep an open mind, you'll feel better sometimes!

Sometimes though it's literally impossible to not feel blue and lonely, and if you feel like for days at a time you can't shake that feeling I would genuinely suggest getting help and reaching out. There's a crisis text line in the UK called SHOUT, and if you can wait the long waiting times in the evenings, they're a good listening ear! I've spoken to people a few times that way when I felt like my anxiety was going to eat me alive/ was too overwhelming to do anything, and it really, actually made me feel better. It's confidential and free !! If you Google SHOUT their website and phone number comes up.

I hope this is mildly helpful and I hope you feel better soon babe!

[mcalhenwrites]

I was lamenting to a friend about how little I had read this year (compared to how much I wanted to). They mentioned that I was doing my best while juggling two jobs - which led to me adding that I work more than that. On top of self-publishing and my receptionist job, I do take art commissions and I sell amigurumi at events (hate that for me). I'm also going to be working at the dog treat bakery when it shows more profit. (Not a matter of "if" but "when" here, and that's likely within the next couple of months.) Then I pointed out that... I have read 90 books this year so far. It is actually 91, and almost half of them are manga/comics while the other half are novels.

A ton of the books I have read come from libraries, which still is good for authors! And it is very good for the libraries to show traffic. :) I have purchased some or been gifted books this year. I decided to take a photo of the ones I know I've gotten this year, though I can't tell you if they're all here. I remember buying two of these as a reward for publishing Geckos. Hahaha. I'm saving for a car, but sometimes it's nice to reward myself with a book every paycheck, if I feel like I can get away with it.

Oh, and I bought Reverie on kindle for $2 bc it was on sale and I had just started my new job, so I thought it would be an acceptable treat at that price. (Ryan La Sala posted about the sale and I was like, "Oh, I liked The Honeys! I should read that!") I'm really sad that I can't do more. When I was whining, I was partially upset bc I had hoped to catch up with reading online as well. I haven't been that great at keeping up with AO3. I have browser bookmarks of things I want to read just stacked up. There are some authors on tumblr I want to catch up with. I can tell you right now that I love Lily Mayne's stuff and wish I could buy the entire Monstrous series in one go instead of every few months or so with no idea when I'll get the next. I'd love to have more manga, esp if it stops getting published! (Too burned by the past on that one, now I fret about how many I probably will never own and aren't at libraries to read.) So yeah, anyway. I do want to be better! But I did move twice (states and then apartments) and acquire a job and do a ton of other things, I'm trying really hard to stay afloat financially. BTW... NOT buying a book every paycheck might save money in the long run, but is still isn't enough to buy a fucking car or a house, and I'd like to better tolerate my life in the 3000 years it would take for me to save for either one of those. And right now, I'm shifting more toward reading library books and avoiding any purchases of books to save a little. I haven't bought a book in... the last month or so? I'll be so happy when I'm finally secure enough to not just buy books from all the authors I love but afford to always preorder (this is very good for authors!) and gift friends books!!! And commission artists for all sorts of things! And buy prints! I'm gonna give all the love I can! (And in the meantime... if anyone wants to buy my books... hahaha... It would go for a car right now, not books, but hey, maybe if I sold 1000 copies of Geckos, I could also splurge on a nice box of books and hold a giveaway.)

[hanszoe]

hello, i wanted to ask you about your opinion on amab intersex hans in canon. it's mostly a head canon, but i feel like it could work for both manga and anime.

i haven't read the manga yet so i don't have the context of how they're depicted in it aside from a few panels i've sought out

to preface, i think that attempting to analyze hans' experience with sex and gender on the basis of canon is pretty pointless. the material never appears to address it, they're depicted with female secondary sex characteristics and often speak masculinely, that's the extent of their canon depiction as far as i'm aware of. isayama can get away with his "who knows" specifically because of his lack of addressing it. in the anime and maybe a panel in the manga i haven't checked they do contrast themself with men once and speak from the type of violation usually associated with misogyny, but that says nothing about their sex

on their being intersex, the experience under amab umbrella is probably so vast hans could have had so many different experiences. i'm not intersex and consider myself quite uneducated so i'd prefer an intersex person be the one to write about what hans' life might have been like if they were amab, but i don't think that it's an invalid interpretation of their character. isayama probably wrote nothing of their past specifically for reasons like this anyway, both to avoid actually depicting them as queer and also to leave it up to fan interpretation i guess (your pick of good or bad faith there).

what is the precedent for intersexism within the walls, is it possible for eldians to be so since there was apparently some "God's will" type genetic editing going on, does random mutation and what we're familiar with as nature still work the same way, have there been sex assignment surgeries, would hans have been a victim of one, if so how did others treat them when they developed female secondary sex characteristics, would they have faced difficulties entering training on account of it. so many things that could have happened to them.

as far as my analysis of them and their reasons for joining the survey corps and wanting to leave the walls it wouldn't be out of place at all. i feel that they simply faced "something is wrong with hansi". ironically bigotry is often vague in this way. i want to believe that to define something, to truly want to understand it on the basis of what it is, even if it means making up new words, is to love it. (also very much hans and titan research. maybe it's a reflection of what they wished someone would have done for them). a double edged sword, but the kind of faith hans has in particular, "i wish you wouldn't group me with them" about those who misuse it, that's what i mean.

my only small thing is that the origin of their sex and gender even being in question is that the illustrations of them must have been "not feminine enough" for some readers, which led to the "what are their primary sex characteristics" type of question. though i am not intersex, i am someone with a body that compels strangers to question something similar. hansi's existence, at least as the character that was illustrated by isayama and is interpreted in our world, began as someone who appears to have been supposed to be a cis woman, but was degendered on account of their appearance. there is a violence in that too that i don't want to overlook. hans may be amab as much as they may be a cis woman. there is an important sharedness there, though one of course cis women have a much greater imperative to understand.

thank you for your ask!! i want to see more of hansi, i want to know everything about them that they would comfortably share so that i can love all of it too. if they're intersex, if eldia didn't have the medicine nor the words to describe them, if they've never even known what's "wrong" with them. i wish they had a creator who would have given them that voice.

[remturtle]

list five things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your followers, mutuals and all the wonderful people on here!

HI ARU!! ILYSM!!! 💜💜💜

1. Matcha flavours!!

Especially in Milk tea, sweets and desserts! (Mainly because it’s not overly sweet when done well, and as someone who famously does not like sweets, it can be a blessing when I’m pressured* into getting a little treat while out with friends)

2. Villainess Otome Genre!

Look, okay, just hear me out. I know it’s an overused cliche now, but when I’d just broke into it there were very few that had comprehensible English translations, so I feel like I got the golden scoop. And I’m not as much of an avid reader of manga/manwha/manhua as I was a couple years ago, so I’m not bombarded with rip offs and trend jumpers all the time. That being said, my number 1 fave villainness manga is Hamefura! (My Next Life As A Villainness) (also!! New VN Coming for it on the switch?!? I’m so excited!!)

My beloved Bakarina is the golden standard of idiot MC dialed up to 100% and she IS my daughter.

3. Isekai genre!

Yet another overused cliche, but I’m not defending myself this time lmao. As almost every isekai fan knows, the medium is over flowing with shitty-lack-lustre-power-fantasy-harem-building but every once in a while (read: every once in a million years lmao) you’ll come across a read that is generally really interesting, whether it be through a new twist on the concept or just really great characters and world-building. A particular favourite of mine is Campfire Cooking. A more recent entry (though it might be a little old now? I don’t watch often.) but it’s basically just ‘salary man makes food for magical dog who happens to have the personality of a cat’ with a bit of monsters and worldbuilding sprinkled in. 100/10 highly reccomend (AroAce bonus: there is no romance or love interest 🥰)

Edit: campfire cooking was originally a light novel I believe, but I found it through the manga - which has an amazing and really unique artstyle that the anime COMPLETELY BUTCHERED (also I love my silly dragon dork Elrand(yes it’s ripped straight from ‘Elrond’(yes I thought it was very funny and a cute lil nod)))

4. Retro/Vintage Aesthetic!

This mainly applies to furniture and decoration, I’ve grown up with a lot of retro things around myself since my parents are a fair bit older than the norm for my generation, and there’s just something so cosy about it. You’ve probably heard me ramble about it at some point in our servers together but I’m planning on getting a lot of retro furniture for myself in the coming months. I’d love to own vintage clothes but the masc leaning pieces tend to be too restricting for my tastes, I prefer looser, more casual outfits.

5. Food!!!

Self explanatory. But just in case: as someone with very little emotional or sentimental connection to physical objects and an overwhelming lack of object permanence, pretty much the only thing that is guaranteed to consistently make me happy is good food. In particular I’m partial to Japanese and Korean dishes, but Malaysian food is pretty high up there too :3

|| * AKA: Being very strongly reminded to eat and not skip meals or ignore my body’s needs

[archivalofsins]

If you're still doing the ask game: Mahiru 1, 8 and 13!

I am! Thanks for asking~

milgram character ask game ! send the character + the questions

Shiina, Mahiru/ Mahiru Shiina

1. favorite song lyrics?

Favorite song lyric from each mv and cover song in order-

This Is How To Be In Love With You

"Do you really think you know what love is?"

Very fun line that is on the same level as Kotoko in the first trailer going if you''re human you'll understand. It shows of Mahiru's mindset that anyone who's ever been infatuated with another person or truly in love will understand her and why she did what she did. Along with her desire to find people like that who will. Because she doesn't just want to give she wants to receive too.

"I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness I can’t stop feeling like there’s something missing."

I really like this line because this shows off Mahiru's habit of acting content despite being unsatisfied. She likes heart racing romance so she may get bored after the first stage of a relationship is over just chasing that feeling of a spark one gets when they're first getting to know someone. So, I took it as her going I should be happy our relationship is fine but now that we're at that monotonous stage of romance I want that spontaneity back. Don't you feel like something's missing too. Where's the excitement; basically.

"I pretended to be a good girl, but really, I don't want to say "I'm ok"."

Same as the previous line. I like the fact that Mahiru has consistently displayed that she doesn't want a love that's just right. She wants something exciting, and she can't keep pretending like she doesn't. Sure, she wants a romance out of a fairytale- Sure she wants it to be like a manga where there's exciting ups and downs.

Sure, she may hate the boring we've settled down stage of romance more than anything and try to spice things up to much and go over the top with grand gestures because she thinks if she treats people how she wants to be treated they'll get the hint. But fuck being in a relationship can get really boring after a while and each person needs different things. Like damn take this woman out somewhere.

You have sitting at home caged in like a little nesting bird and she wants to go out and experience things. Just be fucking happy she wants to go out and experience them with you damn dude- I know I'm a homebody but I would love having someone like Mahiru around who's constantly trying to get people to go out and try new exciting things. I'm not gonna do it by myself. I know that for sure.

"Giving you love to the point of pulling you down- It’s just because I still get worried, please forgive me."

It's a mood. I constantly just message people shit like hope you're doing well, please remember to take care of yourself, out of the fucking blue and I'm like hm I wonder if they're going to get annoyed soon they are fully grown adults they know to drink water and not overexert themselves. Saying this may be annoying.

"Ring ring, I’m calling you in the middle of the night- Forcing you to wake up, and I say “Good Morning!”."

This is the line that made me go,

"Are you trying to say something about me?"

When Star was like I just want you to see Mahiru's song. Because we are in a long distance relationship and my night is her morning.

"We can both feel lonely sometimes, but wonder if you’ll get angry soon I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!"

Not to quote myself in this post but literally a few lines ago- "Hm, I wonder if they're going to get annoyed soon". It's just one of those things that's like yeah mood.

Psychogram

-Weirldly long lethargy driven tangent-

I love this cover a lot. I'm sorry that I played Doki Doki Literature Club the right way and immediately fell in love with Monika- It's no longer horror if you were trying to get to her yourself.

This cover is awesome and she got way too much bullshit for it. People do you support womens wrongs- More than you could ever imagine. More than you could ever fathom. You think those red flags pointing to the concept of her being a yandere is gonna fucking stop me-

Pathetic my support doesn't end at the point an actual wrong has occurred those red flags aren't going to stop me. If they stop you then are you truly in support of women's wrongs. I can excuse anything depending on how much I like the person. She could've stalked that man across Japan broken into his house chloroformed him and took him hostage and my ass would go skill issue sounds like that guy didn't know a good time when he heard/had it.

I would simply enjoy the ride if Mahiru did that to me. Don't threaten me with a good fucking time where another girl into literature wants to abduct me to a secondary location because they're uncontrolably infatuated with me oh no what will I do.

Maybe have a good conversation about story telling for once- Oh, the horror. Fucking Mahiru looks like this

and acts like this

20/05/25 Mikoto: ……I’ve really got caught up in some trouble, huh. What even is this place? It’s probably a TV reality show or something. ……but to think someone in this day and age would try to do a project that could land them in so much trouble. Uh…… Mahiru: Ah…… I’m Shina Mahiru! You can just call me Mahiru. And you are……? Mikoto: Kayano Mikoto. I’m fine with just Mikoto too. Ahh, I’m glad there’s someone here who’s easy to talk to…… It’s nice to meet you, Mappy. Mahiru: ………… ……Mappy??? 20/05/30 Mahiru: Hey, Kotoko-chan. There’s something that’s really been bugging me, so do you mind if I ask? ……how do you style yourself so well? Have you always dressed like that? But it also looks like something you’d wear for training. Do you play sport? Ah, or maybe some kind of martial arts? Kotoko: ……you really are carefree. Everyone in here is a “murderer” right? Is this really the time to be asking questions like that? Mahiru: Hmm, I guess so. That’s what they said. But nobody here seems particularly scary or anything, right? If I had to pick someone, then maybe you’re the scariest! Ah, wait, do you do like yoga or something? Kotoko: ……I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or are just an airhead.

I could have seen her kill that man with my own eyes, then drag his body into a car, and if I knew her personally, I'd just go-

"You need a hand over there? Everything good? Want me to take you out to a spa after you're done with that. That seems very emotionally detrimental to you. Sorry you had to go through that."

Man could've still been breathing, going help me, and I would have simply ignored him. Like she's nice- Nice priviliege is a very real thing I would simply just assume she had a reson because she doesn't seem like someone who would do this for nothing and not interrogate it further because it's none of my business. Unless me disagreeing with her can actually benefit her personally, I'm not doing that. My going aw Mahiru murder is bad, isn't going make her go, you're right, and magically revive her victim. He's already gone, and she already knows murder is bad. When it comes to going hey no that's not a healthy way to live that's a different story. I say that because I care about Mahiru as a character and fictional person.

Yet, Psychogram- Her covering this was the line for some people. We support womens wrongs here. Yeah, right. If people can't support Mahiru if she's a yandere, then do you- do you really? Cause I supported and still support Yuno Gasai and she did a bunch of fucked up shit that she choose to do. TWICE! She choose to do that shit twice. So, yeah personally I really liked Psychogram and think it was oversensationalized a little though in my opinion.

Sorry about this tangent I'm really passionate about this cover. Plus, I acciddentally had caffeine and am kind of lethargic. So, I wound up going off track.

-end of weirldly long lethargy driven tangent (I'm leaving it because it's written now I guess)-

"It was always going to end this way. Is your color changing because I touched you?"

This really highlights what I Love you goes into later. That Mahiru feels as though her impact on those she cares about is wholly negative. That no matter how much she tries she just can't do it right.

"Hey, let's make it sting."

It be better f this was painful instead of just fizzling out so at least make it hurt if you're going to leave. Is the energy this line always gave off to me.

"When will you give in and be my friend."

Highlights Mahiru's desire to be accepted that is pulled to the forefront in I Love You.

"There's nothing here but foul words, they swallowed me up. I get it, I get it."

Really shows off what This Is How To Be In Love With You subtly highlights about having matching pain. Going there's nothing but bad things here to her agreeing just to follow up with I get what you're saying I agree with you there was enough love to begin with-

Like no that is the exact oppossite of what was just said how did we get to that. I need you to take it back to this lyric and try again.

"Hey, if not me who would you choose?"

A question you should never ask in a relationnship because knowing the answer is in no way going to make this partnership any better. Literally what does knowing who else he would have been with if not you do for you or your partner. They're with you aren't they. This is a very moot topic of discussion.

"If you won't answer, then I don't need you."

At the same time mood-

The fuck are you hiding it for? Either say there's no one I'd rather be with than you or answer the fucking question Jim. What you're not about to do is go awkardly fucking silent in a does she know type way. The question was asked you might as well fucking answer. What the fuck are you planning by hiding it? What are you going to do go hook up with Tabitha from our study group behind my back? I've seen how you look at her- You might as well fucking answer the question!

Don't have me out here doing this shit.

Being evasive makes this worse for everyone. It was just a hypothetical but your silence speaks volumes. Sure I shouldn't have asked the question but your response is indicating that it's lucky I did because the fuck are you quiet for?! Are you imagining a managerie of other partners right now, how many fucking names are you listing in your head that would excuse staying silent for this long?

It's not silent reading time answer my fucking question.

Ask stupid questions get stupid prizes I suppose but, lovingly-

"DIE."

I Love You

In a tie for first

"What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."/"Die."

It's just so fucking passive aggressive and I love that for her.

"This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥."

I love how this line not only refers to her victim but herself. How she views her feelings of love as adorable, earnest and sincere and her actual upset of having that trampled on and rebuked.

"Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?"

Just do it accept me- why is it so hard for you and all of you to just accept me for who I am. Come on do it I'm accepting you so accept me back- Accept me back. All you saw me doing was having fun and you couldn't accept that. I'm not judging you for that am I- I'm not judging you for what your choice to reprimand me did right. So, accept me.

"This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥ Is bleeding, wailing, this is the end."

Calls back to her voice drama where she states if she can't be accepted she might as well not be alive. Literally just reiterating that point. That it wasn't Kotoko attacking her that hurt her the most but being denied by our judgement. As her second trial song basically cries out stop picking on me.

"I just love you so much."

I just really love how this line is sung.

Parasyte

"Why can't you understand? I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."

I really like this line and this cover because it directly calls back to This Is How To Be In Love With You in several very interesting ways. This line highlights Mahiru's need to have her feelings recognized but her inability or fear of voicing them hereself. Instead continuing on as things are and hoping someone will realize what's going on in her heart without her addressing it.

This is displayed in her first trial song by her hinting at she feels something is missing in the relationship instead of saying what she feels it is instead asking her partner what do they think.

"Wait a second when did things start going wrong? I loved the bad parts too, everything was fine."

This calls directly back to this line in her first mv in a really nice way, "We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt." while still illustrating her refusal to state there were issues with the relationship still not really recognizing what those issues were even in hindsight.

"I thought I could forget about you."

Shows off how Mahiru has a difficulty moving on from things like her interpretation of others or relationships and will mentally linger on them far after things have become past tense. Something that's hightlight more in the lyrics of I Love You. Along with her mood not improving from her change of verdict as shown on Shidou's birthday. Because even though the bad event has passed she's still mentally stuck on it regardless so no matter what good things happen that will always really be in the back of her mind.

This is also highlighted through her first cover too.

" "Friend" is so conventient for you, don't you think? But- If we are still connected I guess it's not that bad. I was living a lie and started feeling down."

If we just end things as friends it's so much easier for you because then you don't have to feel bad about it, you don't have to feel as though you've wasted my time, and you're actions hurt me because at least I'll always have a friend out of it. So, it's all fair in your mind right what a convenient way of thinking but I guess it's fine if you're still in my life. Literally perfectly illustrating why some people should not stay friends directly after ending a romantic relationship.

"It's even worse when you are nice to me but I don't want to be given the cold shoulder."

Calls back to this line in her first trial song well adding on to it's meaning- "I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!" Highlighting how being nice to her hurts just as much as someone being cruel to her if not more so.

"I'm an idiot."

Highlights Mahiru's habit of demeaning her own intelligence and skills. Despite being very good at a lot of things.

"If you love me, please notice."

Once again highlights how she wants people to notice how she's feeling without her saying anything. Just hoping that they'll notice that she's just pretending to be okay. Something that she does throughout most of trial two.

"I'm going to curse her. Hey, give me back the time I used loving you."

Displays her genuine upset at having her time consumed on something treated as meaningless and left at the wayside later. Along with her spitefulness.

"You're going to throw me away like incombustable waste? Why, why, why, why- WHY, WHY?!"

I really like how this part is sung in the cover. This also really captures the feelings of upset and abandonment after being dropped in a relationship for no reason or a it's not you it's me reason. Like you're really sweet but I see us better as friends. Something that would probably really mess with Mahiru imparticular because she wouldn't really understand it like you like me you think I'm nice so why don't you want to be with me anymore everything was going well so what did I do wrong. I can see her stressing over that a lot. Something really homed in on in the song and the anxious frantic way this part is sung.

8. what is your theory for their crime? if there is general consensus on it in the fandom, do you have any other, not-so-widely-accepted thoughts on it?

I believe that Mahiru killed her significant other. It is implied to have been through poisoning or asphyxiation. She mentions practicing cooking all of his favorite meals within This Is How To Be In Love With You. So, at first I thouhgt she may have poisoned his food. However-

She's also displayed to be choking him in Undercover and the scenes shown there have been proven not to be metaphorical through other prisoners. Such as Mu and Haruka. So, she more likely asphyxiated her victim after incapacitating him through some other means.

More than likely she drugged his food, then drove out of town with him, either using a rental car, his car or a vehicle of her own. As she states in her second trial written interrogation-

Q.12 Can you drive a car? Mahiru: I have my license. I have no actual experience though so it’s just on paper.

Despite her second statement being she has no actual experience you literally need to take a driving test to get a license. If she has one she has driven and can drive even though she isn't doing it regularly. Making it weird for her to assert she can't actually drive despite having a license- not a learners permit a license.

That's like me getting a certificate stating I can give cpr without knowing how to give cpr. It doesn't make any sense.

The second part of her statement literally takes one google search to disprove. Mahiru also states that she enjoys travelling and we see her doing it throughout This Is How To Be In Love With You.

20/06/10 Futa: Hey, why are you acting so carefree all the time? You’re the oldest of the girls here, you should act it and deal with the others properly. Mahiru: Eh~? I’m acting carefree~? But maybe you’re right. I mean, I…… ah, let’s make this a quiz. Hey, Futa-kun. What do you think I like doing? Tick, tick, tick, tick…… Futa: Ahh, what even is this mood you’ve started. It’s annoying. Just tell me the answer already. Mahiru: Bzzt! Time’s up! The correct answer is “travelling” and “exciting things”~ You don’t get many chances at a lifestyle as exciting as this, right? So of course I’m going to be a bit carefree, ufufu~

She would know the personal benefit and freedom that comes from driving so-

Why-

After taking her victim to a second location she more than likely ended up killing and subsequently framing his death as a suicide. The only thing I don't fucking know is why. Especially if she said the relationship was going well and this person was nice.

However, her situation could have been very similar to this situation. Except her victim didn't survive.

13. any ideas on what would they and their MV be like if they got a different verdict in T1?

I think her video would have been very relaxed if she was voted Innocent instead of guilty. She states that reciprocity is the most important thing to her when it comes to communication. So, if she's given love, she'll give love back. Now how she displays that can be questionable, but she was very reserved in what she chooses to disclose trial one. So, chances are she would have given more information than she did trial two if she was voted Innocent and she would have wound up making herself look worse than what we see in I Love You.

Because Mahiru is seeking acceptance not just for her good qualities but her bad ones as well and views loving in the way she does as necessary as breathing air or drinking water. She literally states if we can't accept her living this way she'd rather die, and she would probably still want even more acceptance and disclose even worse things about herself if she was forgiven/innocent trial one.

Which is why she was so upset by being judged as guilty because that was her best self she put on display. If that can't even be accepted then it's not surprising that she'd feel she could never actually be fully accepted after that.

[systemrestart]

Remi's 2023 favorites!!

I used to do this on twitter but given what's happened to that site, I'm doing it over here this year! This was a brutal year for me MH wise, but at least I was introduced to some good stuff.

List under the cut

Starting off strong with my favorite thing of the whole year......

[FAVORITE VISUAL NOVEL]

Heaven Will Be Mine

Worst Girl Games has done it again. I am so glad I finally read this. Very few pieces of media have ever so perfectly captured what it means to feel 'inhuman', but still trapped by Earth's, humanity's, "gravity". The relationships between the 3 girls, and the circumstances that shaped them, put beautifully to the page feelings I know many other queer people share. There is nothing else like this out there.

[FAVORITE VIDEO GAME]

Mystia's Izakaya

Mystia's Izakaya is truly THE Touhou fangame to play. So many fun characters to get to know and serve food to, really great restaurant simulator with minor rhythm game elements, gorgeous pixel art in both character portraits and environment, so many challenges to try and outfits/music/items to unlock......!! And there's still more DLC coming out.

The love and effort put into this game is astonishing, and I am so glad I gave it a shot despite being nervous about restaurant sims. Highly recommend, even to non-Touhou fans!!!!

[FAVORITE SONG]

Psi

The lyrics seem to be a criticism of the extreme pace of 'content consumption' online nowadays, which I have mixed feelings on, but regardless, the song itself is absolutely killer. Particularly the verses. The effects with the TVs during the second verse are also great, capture the chaotic and mildly ominous energy of the song extremely well. This is definitely the song I listened to the most this year

[FAVORITE MOVIE]

Glass Onion

Watched this at the very beginning of the year. One of the best live-action movies I've seen in a long time, genuinely brilliant. Really hoping for more Knives Out films, they've knocked it out of the park so far. I also think this one and the first Knives Out will be very rewarding to revisit

[FAVORITE ANIME/SHOW]

I didn't watch anything this year. whoops

[FAVORITE MANGA]

Until I Love Myself

Most of the books and manga I read this year were autobiographical/semi-autobiographical, and this was one of my favorites. This is about a nonbinary mangaka dealing with sexual harassment as a editing job, and the subsequent struggles they have with PTSD, navigating life in the wake of the #MeToo Movement, and their difficult feelings on their gender and body, and how those things affect how others treat/see them. Reflected a lot of my own feelings and thoughts on these things, and very insightful. Can be a rough read at time, but I highly, highly recommend it.

[FAVORITE BOOK]

Stone Butch Blues

Absolutely life-changing read. It is extreme heavy, deals in police violence (including sexual violence inflicted upon LGBT people), labour rights and protests, severe discrimination based on gender and presentation, extreme poverty in part due to said discrimination, difficult and multifaceted relationships between queer women and lesbians......... there is a lot here. It is raw, and real, and while there is agonizing hardship here, there is also incredible, deep love, for the community that keeps up afloat, keeps us going. Please, if you can stomach the content, I beg of you all to read Stone Butch Blues if you haven't.

..... aaaand that's it I think!! Happy new year y'all!