#and trash is just piling up
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Everyone is saying itās hoa hoa hoa season but I firmly disagree bc to me itās thereās a possibilityyyyyyyyy season
#which means Iām horribly fucking depressed#and my sleep schedule is fucked#and I donāt wanna eat#or shower#or do my hobbies or hang out with friends or go on dates#and I wanna cover all the mirrors in my house and not leave for months#and trash is just piling up#we love having awful seasonal depression on top of regular moderate depression itās great š„²āš»#personal
1 note
Ā·
View note
Text
i think what most people fail to understand is that theres no fucking way that israel intelligence community wouldnt know about the attack that happened. they have spies literally everywhere and theyre frighteningly good at their job, just look at some cases of them stealing data from other countries and you will see. so the most likely scenario in my head is that israeli government decided to let the attack happen, let the people die, bc of the greater good of forcing more oppression onto palestinians and deeming any of the activists as terrorists. now they can say "look its not our fault!!! we're doing this for the security of the country, not just israelis, and our laws and legislations are only to control the terrorism" which is a big fat lie.
people need to understand that when oppression gets too suffocating radical groups are born. this is why there are alt right muslim extremists in europe, bc theyre being actively oppressed. but what they do benefits the government (as in, they can now point at the extremists and claim all muslims/middle easterns are like this). so in the end, theres a high chance that the recent hamas attack will benefit the genocide of the palestinianļæ½ļæ½ļæ½a truly ironic tragedy, the acts of which we (the middle easterns) already know from memory.
my heart goes out to all of my palestinian siblings. i hope the nightmarish genocidal machine of israel finally dies, and that you can experience peace in the end šµšø
#Palestine#also i need the western leftists to check their sources before quoting any palestine advocate bc some of them are the iranian government#which i do not need to get into to explain why thats not correct and u shouldn't listen to them. hopefully#god im just. head in hands#when will the horrors end#people can never understand the experience of living in middle east#its truly hellish#and everything is out of our control#and bc we are brown our lives just. don't fucking matter#they way everyone treats us like trash like we deserve whats happening#like we deserve the war the west is forcing on us#im so so so tired. the pain never goes away#it just piles up.
97 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
yeah so it turns out when you take an unapologetic eugenicist and give him a sympathetic backstory where he's been uwu traumatized you get a lot of people unironically defending a eugenicist. yeah it's because he's hot. yeah they're saying he has girlhood rage
#rolling up to the party in a shirt that says āgetou girlieā with three big fat asterisks on the front and a wall of small text on the back#the slow dawning horror as you interact with more of the fandom and realize the character you like has The Problematic Fans#which is v obvious in hindsight tbh ...#what can i even say tho the only version of jjk i like exists entirely inside my dreams#which is what i thought the rest of yall were doing#you mean to tell me you didnt watch jjk 0 and immediately black out from his rancidness#you mean to tell me you think suguru getou has a legitimately fleshed out ideology we're meant to seriously engage with#and isn't just an ill-thought out frakenstein patchwork of other shonen antagonists with no internal consistency#because his motivation and characterization ended up being retconned anyway just to make him more shippable#not a stan not an anti but a secret third thing#seeing a pile of trash and loving bits and pieces of it in a way that's entirely divorced from its original context#just just kidding
16 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
they look half dead ā¹ļø
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#matt sharp#i rlly like riversļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ hair in this one! itās epicness#i liked his hair in the 90s with his bowl cut.#bowl cuts are cool#and he looked great w it !#anyways yesterday was my boyfriendās birthday party; and i got him some chaos emeralds from sonic that heās been wanting like ; forever!#it was fun for the most part; but nobody told me we would be swimming plus i was the only girl there sooo i was just sitting around while#everybody swam and stuff. and my friend hayden i guess felt bad so he stayed out of the pool despite having swimwear and just played mobile#games with me; which was fun and i really appreciated but this guy ; who will remain nameless was being rlly mean to me at the party#like he was saying stuff abt how my boyfriend didnāt really like me THAT much (we have been together for nearly a yearā¦)#and other things like that; which made me rlly sad and i kept asking my mom to pick me up but she wasnāt answering so i couldnāt do anything#besides trying not to cry and stuff. but itās okay#and after everybody went inside besides me and my boyfriend ; we were cleaning up the table since the guys left all their trash and i had#like a whole pile of trash; like tons of plates and a whole stack of trash still; the guy from earlier who was mean just like#put his trash on top of the trash i was already carrying inside#since the guys were all crowded around the trash cans (he was closest; but he couldnāt throw it away; rather he wanted to deliberately just#put it on the pile i was carrying ) and it wouldnāt be a big deal if he wasnāt mean earlier; i wouldnāt have cared so much#but he was being real mean and just did that. and iām a passive person ; but i rolled my eyes a ton at it and idk it felt like the#other guys were laughing; which made me feel even more awful about the fact but yeah so i rolled my eyes tons and he told my bf that he was#sorry about it; but didnāt say it to me and stuff and idk it just made me feel bad#when i was younger i got bullied a lot and people would throw their trash on my lunch tray n it just reminded me of that and made me sad;#but itās okay now! other than that i had a good time and it was fun! my boyfriend said he loved my gift to him so ya! :D it was fun other#than the stuff with the guy! but yeah. not rlly weezer related tags today; just really wanted to get that off my chest#my boyfriends mom asked if i felt left out; which i definetly did and really wanted to go home but ik i couldnāt so i was just sitting at a#table alone for abt 20 mins while everybody was changingninitially#but itās okay! ty for listening to my rant i love u all
8 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
.
#i feel disgusting#i feel awful and bad and. helpless#and so very weak#.........i was doing well cleaning for a little while and now suddenly its like nothing mattered#ive been out of laundry for a week I've done laundry once in the last 2 months#showers take a week or even more#trash keeps piling up dishes take so long#and i just....sit here#.....it all hurts#......everything hurts so fucking much all the time and i do need help but#how the fuck do you ask a friend to do your laundry for you what the fuck kind of ask is that#............i feel so pathetic#im so tired.....#.....i wish i could just sleep forever
6 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
.
#currently raging rn and its taking everything I have in me to NOT snap at my roommate#basically its been a year of her neglecting her cats#not cleaning literally one single thing in this apartment ever even though she makes the mess 99% of the time#and not being able to admit she has a problem when clearly does have a problem with hoarding stuff anf trash and it makes this#a pretty sucky apartment to live in !#but no this morning i wake up to her being ABSOLUTELY discusted with me because!#last night in the night when i was changing my pad without glasses i got a drop of blood on the floor b/c period#and she literally was like this is gross and how could you expect me to clean that and like going forward please dont do this again???#and i literally just want to be like have you fucking heard of accidents before??#like of course ill clean it up!!#but like do you really think i purposely bleed on the floor and then ignored it????#also the fact that shes done the same thing about 6 times but apparently hasnt noticed before#also shes not okay with that but she is okay with ignoring the litter boxs#having bugs because she cant clean up after herslef#and literally not being able to use certain parts of our apartment because her stuff is piled up so high#theres literally no room!#sorry i am just raging so hard rn#like the anger i feel from within is so great#like literally theres still vomit on the floor from where she threw up and never cleaned it up#its fine im just so fucking MAD
8 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
All eleven pieces of my Yule dress cut out and ready for sewing!
And the swiffer-type dust cloth I used to wipe down all the velvet fuzzies after cutting out each piece. Despite my best efforts there's still velvet lint everywhere, and probably will be until this project is done, lol.
#my sewing#velvet Yule dress#2024 mood#fwiw the sleeves are laid on top of the skirt -- but upside down with the shoulder near the end of the skirt#and I _still_ can't see any difference in the nap on this velvet#I might have been able to squeeze the pieces in slightly tighter if I was really confident about the no-nap situation#but even cutting everything with the same end of the fabric as the 'up' I still ended up with a nice buffer of left over fabric#just long enough to re-cut a piece or two if I really needed to. but thankfully I don't think I'll have to#there were a couple of little marks on the velvet from where I hung the fabric while it was wet after I handwashed it#I managed to avoid cutting a piece directly on top of any of them -- or so I thought#then I found a little round marred spot right below the waist on one side-front panel#pretty visible and the sort of thing I would notice all the time even if no one else would#so I thought about re-cutting that panel and checked to make sure I had enough fabric#but then I thought: why not at least try to iron out that spot before trashing the whole panel?#since it's already been washed the key is getting it wet again and then ironing it on a velvet board with zero pressure just heat and steam#so I used a little spray bottle to put water just right where the spot was (spraying on the back) and then steamed it dry with my iron#with the fabric face-down on the velvet board. by the time the water was all steamed off the spot was completely gone!#so thankfully I don't have to re-cut anything. which means that I have enough left over for another small project or two later on#next step on this project will be doing a little stay-stitch ~1/8'' in from the edge of the fabric#and then I can start pinning pieces together and sewing the long princess seams#I am so excited to make this pile of fabric into an actual dress! :D
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
sometimes itās late at night and youāre cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.
and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someoneās home you donāt recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you arenāt sure.
and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.
and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because youāre crying so hard because it hits you all at once that youāre looking at your mother.
#hey Siri play In Color by Jamey Johnson for me please#music stuff#you shouldāve seeeeen it in cooolllloor#Seven.txt#Sevenās Public Diary#normal Sunday night behavior#me? up all night hyperfocused on cleaning out my depression cave to achieve a sense of change and accomplishment -#- and ignoring every other aspect of my life including abandoning time sensitive tasks lest i get distracted and lose all motivation???#more likely than you think!#iāve been at this since new years and iām only like. halfway done. Gods help me#like i donāt mean ācleaningā as in doing some light dusting. i mean thereās junk and trash piled 2/3rds of the way to the ceiling#when i call this room my depression/mental illness cave i Mean it#but no longer. i shall finally return this room to an acceptable state for the first time since. uh. 2022? i think?#i found a plastic container of dates buried under some laundry and the sticker says theyāre from March of last year lmao#i forgot about those/thought i threw them away. but they were thankfully sealed so well that they hadnāt drawn any bugs#and oddly enough hadnāt even visibly molded/gone bad. but i didnāt open them up for a smell test i just chucked āem in my giant trash bag#iām finding all kinds of shit i forgot i even had which is nice but itās also distracting me like those pictures did#iāll have to show them to her and ask her about them tomorrow#and ur probably like āu found old pics of a girl that looks like you why didnāt you immediately recognize ur own momā#and 1. thereās countless pics of countless old relatives around this house that i barely/donāt recognize and never even met#and 2. iāve barely ever seen any pics of my mom from such a young age so i have no images to reference in my mind#and it just fucked me up bc. i donāt look like her anymore. i only see Him in the mirror. but i Used to look like her. iām turning into him#and i fucking hate it so much. i donāt like that she looks at me and sees him. great now i feel sick.#anyways thats enough reminiscing i need to get some water and food in me and get back to cleaning. i shanāt rest until iām satisfied#well. my period + depression combo kinda Did make me rest which is why itās taken 5 days but still. the horrors persist but so do i#itās not just for the sense of accomplishment tho. i also need to move the 75gal tank out of the living room thanks to the floor situation#so iām trying to make room in my room for it since it has the newest & strongest floor. i just need to find a level spot thats big enough#my back is gonna be so fucked after all this cleaning that iāll have to rest for a fucking week before moving that heavy ass glass box#i hate moving big aquariums it makes me so anxious. and i literally donāt know if iāll have anyone capable of helping me#so it might not even happen and itāll just have to sit empty in the living room forever. but Maybe he can/will help me
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Deciding to get my shit together at 7:50 pm on a Saturday after doing jack shit for like 3 days straight by writing a to do list on a sticky note, and proceeding to go right back online š
#I really am gonna start doing things I just needed a little more procrastination time#after I hit post on this I swear Iāll get up and starting cleaning up the piles of trash thatāve been accumulating#itās step one on the to do list#step 2 is laundry#depression be damned I shouldnāt be living like this š#my diary
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
you know how there's like depression where you feel terrible but you're still functioning and coping in a way that nobody worries about you? is there the opposite? where like you feel pretty good actually and like you're fine but you're just... not functioning?
#/mp#/ppt#this question is bought to you by the realisation i've been wearing the same pair of socks no stop for about 4 weeks.#and it should be so easy to just put some clean socks on but i can't#i'm on week 3 of my bedsheets. there's a pile up of plates in my room. there's trash everywhere. i can't focus on anything or do anything.#hmm. beginning to think maybe i'm not ok actually. but also do not worry this is fine.
23 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
crouched on the floor eating my sandwich like a maniac
#my desk is covered in Stuff. i took my meds 40 mins ago. okay uhh today i need to#1) im helpin mom with the wood splitter bc it's stuck in a block lol 2) gonna tidy my room and actually get my school supplies together#3) laundry. i should#4) valorant...it calls to me..#oh i should also take the trash#key word is TIDY room. i need to do a large scale laundry operation today and possibly tomorrow. so many got damn clothes just laying aroun#a lot of them r clean but they're in The Pile and not in the dresser#been Workin.#so. corral clothes. put up what i can. start laundry. play valo. get laundry. put on cr while folding laundry which i might do in one big go#after all the loads are done so i can actually find pairs of socks and shit#the adhd demons.
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
oops, got myself thinking again about byan having a little hoard of weird and random trinkets and shiny things hidden away under their bed in the same way that some cats have collections of bottle caps under furniture.
like, none of it is particularly meaningful and they don't wear any of the jewelry that's under there, but they like to pull it all out once in a while to look at and are always adding more
#there's a lot of jewelry but there's a lot of other shiny things and weirder stuff too#like there's a heart shaped rock they stole from someone in elementary and some pretty feathers they've found on the ground#but then there's also a wrapper from a cute snack they had and a bone from some random animal they found in a park#colourful buttons and cute ribbons and a trading card from a game they've never played#and probably also a pink bottle cap tbh#literally just a random collection of Stuff they like but have no use for#it's a collection they've had to rebuild a few times too#bc staff/caretakers at the group home(s) would find it all sometimes and throw away whatever looked like junk or trash#tbh it's a collection they still have and add to even after they move in w sol and start sharing a bed#and they still keep it under the bed ofc bc it's habit at this point and honestly I'm not so sure they've even told him it's there š¤#...im rambling bc I'm kinda buzzed but like. idk I love byan and their pile of random shit#I think part of what got them started was want to actually Have Things bc they grew up not having much#and they would ABSOLUTELY get jealous of kids at school who had all kinds of belongings#who could have coherent collections and all the cool toys and shit#so they just started collecting anything that caught their eye#even if it was labels off of bottles or those cheap erasers shaped like animals or food or w/e that don't actually erase anything#and it's a habit that persisted after they started stealing basically anything they wanted/needed#and will continue to persist even once they have a job and money to buy what they want#god I kept rambling even after trying to wrap things up smh#this is the shit I'm talking about when I say I have weirdly specific and detailed thoughts about inane and unimportant aspects of byan#āā Ė ā° ā° ooc ā® donāt @ me.
7 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Extra day off from work, what will I do
#started some chili in the crock pot#maybe not the best idea because there's always the chance we lose power#but whatever i guess#and I've done a little bit of cleaning#I'd love to tidy up the kitchen a bit#but then i may need to run the trash out#and it's going to be raining all day and idk what condition the apartments dumpster is in#i don't want to get up there and see the thing overflowing#because then i either have to just pile my trash on top of everyone elses#or bring it back to the apartment#so I'm trying to put off trash to tomorrow because worst case scenario i can always throw it in the dumpster at work#and then idk i was thinking of playing some more baldurs gate
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Request to move into basement failed. Sad.
#I just wanna have some more space and maybe host people and save money and acclimate to apartment living#and moving into the basement would do that#Not only is it big enough it's also fully finished. Carpeted and everything#Unfortunately my dad sleeps in there and doesn't want to be demoted to bedroom 2#āI already got kicked out of the master!ā#Um. Need I fucking remind you that being kicked out of the master is what saved your marriage my guy?#(He is a VERY violent sleeper and it caused Problems And Injuries And Arguments)#He calls it his āman caveā even though the only man cave thing about it us that he is a man sleeping and watching TV in it#He's always talking about nebulous plans to make it a mancave and then never follows though#bc he's a trash hoarder who keeps months of empty soda bottles piled up for no reason#and granted I also have messy room problems but at least I take out the trash and dirty dishes (if any) out of it every week#Meanwhile I know Exactly what I would do with the space#And I mean#Granted it /is/ going to be a hard sell trying to convince someone to downgrade to a child's bedroom#That could probably fit a full and still be comfortable but /definitely/ can't fit a queen#I tried to sell him on the large closet space (since that's something he's always complaining about not having any of at all)#Bc I will Happily downgrade to one of those garment racks if it means I can actually have space for all my music+art stuff#but no cigar :(#And listen#My room is small but it does have a decent amount of space so long as all of my belongings are contained#But They Have To Be Contained!#Which is really fucking hard to do when you own several large musical instruments and have ADHD
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
šš”š ššØš®š« š'š¬ šØš š¬š®š«šÆš¢šÆš¢š§š š¬š®šš®š«šš¢šā¦
someone is not a huge fan of willow creek, i see.
#ts4 gameplay#ts4 screenshots#ts4 rotational gameplay#my sims#family: montrose#sim: jasmine#story set-up!#god i love her room#and i love her#even if she is being a spoiled brat abt this move#like babe ā¦ youāre from del sol valley?#the land of washed up celebrities with dr*g habits#where the trash sits piled up at the end of the street for 2 weeks at a time#and you needed your inhaler on hand just to sit on your front porch#pls be soooo fr.#THE MOVE WAS FOR THE BEST
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Also with chapter 5 out now, I can get all excited about the shrink flashlight making a return. I just think Wendy using it to make her job as easy as possible was so cool and smart of me.
#Hayley Writes Triangulum#Like you tell me you wouldn't use that for cleaning if you could#I also just like dropping more lore about how they run the shack in general#Oh they've got all these new exhibits outside? How do they clean them up?#They shrink them at the end of the day#And what do they do with the shrunken trash??#Well you know...probably just leave it there or kick some dirt over it#It's smaller now and less likely to pile up#It's fine
3 notes
Ā·
View notes