#and to this very way this bravery moves me and impresses me

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

"Two years. We are all here 🇺🇦"

[fishnapple]

FUTURE SPOUSE : WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT THEM

(can also apply to long-term committed partner)

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost

Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

1. Carnelian

The Carnelian stone, which represents this group, looks like a heart with The Moon stone right above it, open, its dark side is exposed, making the impression of a heart broadcasting something. I can see that this person has an open heart. They put their vulnerability on an open platter for you to see. They had been hurt in the past, their heart is full of scars, but they don't hide it. It takes great bravery to do that, and you will love them for it.

They know how to move on from past hurt, from pains, especially in relationships. They didn't become pessimistic because of it. They have learnt the lessons and are ready to do better in the future. You won't see bitterness in them, they're probably the kind that don't talk bad about their ex, even if that ex had hurt them badly. This trait will also be clearly felt when you two have arguments or in conflicts. They may be angry, you may shout at each other, but they will cool down and think rationally about the problem and ready to solve it together with you, no passive-aggressive actions. After that, they won't bring it up again in the future just to make you feel bad.

Part of the reason why they can bravely face the conflict and move on is because they can detach their mind from the conflict, able to see it from many viewpoints. They are fully aware of their emotions, but they don't let them run amok and cloud their mind. They give equal respect to both emotion and rationality. At times, they can even appear a little cold or detached, too logical, but you will still admire that about them or even find it attractive.

They could have a very unique beauty or what is considered classic beauty but put a creative spin to it. The kind that stands out, or at least in your eyes, you will always be able to find them in a crowd. Not exactly because it's so exceptional but because it shows individuality.

I don't think they are a conventional person, something about them is going against the grain of society. They are a free thinker, the way they think and speak is unique and beautiful. It's full of wisdom and maturity. You can learn a lot from them. Their advice is kind and considerate and you will feel their love through it.

Above all, you love their compassion for life. They are a humble person, despite their talents and wisdom, they don't go around lecturing and ordering people. They understand that everyone has their own problems and fears, so even in conflict, they won't go out of their way to demolish the other person. They have the mindset of 'Live and let live'.

Being with them will make you feel peaceful, understood, and free. At times, it will feel like a gentle breeze blowing through your hair in the middle of a field, at other times, it will feel like sinking yourself into the tub, warm water washing away all of your fatigue.

2. Tiger's eye

I get a feel that this person spoils you a lot. They would try to fulfil your every wish, as long as it's in their ability. It could be buying you gifts, cooking your favourite dishes, helping around the house etc. They just know how to make you feel safe and satisfied.

They are generous and dependable. A part of them is very adventurous while another part of them is more traditional and liking structure. This traditional part is likely shown only in close relationships. You can feel that they treat you more specially, more preciously, they put serious intention into the relationship with you.

They could be a little clingy? wanting to be with you at every moment, somehow the old song 'I don't want to miss a thing' by Aerosmith comes to mind. You may complain about it sometimes but I think secretly, you do enjoy that kind of behaviour. It shows loyalty.

They would like to take the more dominant role in the relationship, wanting to lead and plan ahead for both of you. If you are someone more on the passive side, this will make you more at ease. Beware of the tendency for 'laziness' and 'dependency' though, since they take on the more active role and like to do things more.

The way they talk, it's smooth and has a sway to it. They could give you lots of compliments, not the shallow, generic kind but the kind that unique only to you, makes you feel that they pay attention to every small detail about you. They sure know how to flatter your ego a bit and make you feel more confident in yourself.

Whatever darkness is hiding in your closet, they will pull it out for you, gently, persuasively, do a spring cleaning and give you a better perspective on those issues. You may feel resistant at first, but gradually, with time, you will come to appreciate their doing this for you. They could buy you a house but they'd rather help you build your own house.

Another thing you love about them is their passion, it's spontaneous and out of the blue, like electricity. Things are planned in such an unplanned way that you will be surprised every time. Being with them will feel safe but never boring.

You guys may also communicate a lot through dreams or other psychic means. The connection has a strong spiritual side to it. You and them both intuitively know what the other person is thinking without many words spoken. It's a silent understanding, a link between two spirits.

3. Aventurine

I get a sense of candidness from this person. They have a style of expression that is both soft, childlike yet wise and mature at the same time.

They have a dry or wacky sense of humour that you love. It touches other's insecurities in such an odd way that make others feel at ease and safe with them. For example, you guys have to go somewhere dark but you have a fear of the darkness, instead of making fun of you for it, they will act all scared and jumpy and insist on holding your hand to calm them down, even if they don't actually scare of the dark. They can make fun of themselves and bring themselves down a bit to elevate the other person. You would have your fears gradually banished by being with them. They help you to be more courageous.

Even though they act like that, they don't seem to be someone that people can mess with. Maybe they have a very intimidating air about them. The way they deliver the jokes could be very deadpan. But it will make you laugh and make you feel protected.

This person doesn't have a big ego. They're self confident, as in being sure of themselves and that's for them is enough, they don't feel the need to go around imposing their will on other people, advertising their brilliance to get praise. In fact, this person is very down-to-earth, praise actually come naturally to them. Because of their sureness in themselves, they know where they stand in a relationship, what they want from a relationship, where the relationship is going, so they are decisive. They will tell you straightforwardly how they feel and what they want for the relationship. If there's a problem in the relationship, they will address it clearly to you and expect both of you to solve it together. You will love them for their honesty and their way of approaching everything.

They could be the best hugger. You love being hugged by them. Something feels soft and warm, yet sturdy. They may not be a big person but their energy is big. Even if their physique is smaller than you, hugging them will feel like hugging a big tree or a big teddy bear.

They are also very giving. They will share their time, their resources with you without second thought, or for some hidden motives. There could be a boundary issue though, you may sometimes feel that you guys have fused with each other, the boundary of what is yours, and what is theirs will be blurred. Maybe you're someone who likes to be one with your partner, then you could find this to be of no issue.

4. Clear quartz

This person seems like someone who is very good with words. They could be in the publishing, writing, or journalism. Or singing.

They are like a magician, there's magic in their work. They have an expansive inner world. When you get closer to them and take a peek inside their world, you will see its marvels, like a large reservoir, an inner creative power generator. They can translate that power into their works, works that can move many people. It comes with rigorous hard work, though. They are dedicated to whatever they're doing. They want perfection, mastery over it, whatever hard work is needed, they don't mind putting all in. That attitude is what makes dreams come true. And I think you can't help but fall in love with that.

They could seduce you with just words or their voice. The way they talk or sing can speak deep into your soul, pull out your hidden feeling. They could have a healing effect on you that you love. It makes you feel like being cocooned in a velvet blanket.

This person has a sensitive and intense soul. They don't love lightly. Once they are committed to someone, they will be there with that person through thick and thin, always preparing to face the storm together. You will love being loved by them. It's not a common experience. Love is not a common experience, of course. But being in love with them will have a depth that is hard to find with other people. They could make your past relationships feel pale in comparison. This person could show their love for you through physical touch and intimacy. It's when their love will find its rawest expression.

You will love them for for being a humanitarian. They care about the world, society, and people. What they're doing is not just a form of self-expression but also directed towards a bigger goal. They want to contribute to the greater good, to make changes and make people's life better. It may sound like some kind of lofty ideals, but actually they do believe in it. And their faith will be their power. You have fallen in love with a magician, so expect magic and miracles coming out of their hat.

[impala-dreamer]

It's Fucking Unprofessional

A Story from The Boys Universe

~ While working as a PA for Vought, Y/N has made one promise to herself: to stay the fuck away from Soldier Boy. Some promises are too easily broken…~

Soldier Boy x F!Reader

2,434 Words

NSFW. Snark. Cursing. Assholery. Fucking. 

For @jacklesversebingo “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions”

JacklesBingo Masterlist

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works

He was terrifying up close. 

It wasn’t just the knowledge that he could rip her apart with a simple flick of his wrist, or shove her so hard she’d splatter against the wall like a bug on a windshield. It was much worse than all that. It was the fact that he was the most handsome man she’d ever seen. His green eyes behind that mask were piercing… the way his muscles pulsed beneath the suit was mesmerizing… the way he walked with that bow-legged swagger was sexy as hell. Being attracted to the epic piece of shit was way more dangerous than the threat of death.  

When Y/N got the job at Vought Studios, she made a promise to her diary and herself. In no way would she get so close to him as to give away the fact that her innocent pussy dripped whenever he was around. She would ignore him entirely. Besides, his behavior was reprehensible. His attitude toward women was disgusting. His ass was so perky and tight and… No. She was going to be strong. She was going to steer clear of all that nonsense.  

Not that he’d ever pay attention to someone like her. The key aspect of her job was to be neither seen nor heard; just a person waiting in the wings to hand off a prop, run and get coffee, and clean up the dressing rooms. It would be easy to stay in the shadows, completely off his radar. 

Soldier Boy was pissed. 

He may have actually been pissed as well as just angry: he stank of rye and stale cigarettes, and fumbled over his lines more than a few times. 

For over an hour, he held the crew hostage while attempting to film his required Anti-Drug PSA. Vought was trying to score some points with the public by helping out D.A.R.E. by pimping out their celebrity supes for commercial spots. Soldier Boy was next in line and very unhappy about it. 

After the twentieth take, he demanded caffeine and production halted until Y/N returned with a styrofoam cup full of black coffee. 

Y/N held her breath and tried to walk away without really looking at him, but Soldier Boy flipped. He sniffed the drink and sneered. 

“Is this hot?” 

Y/N stepped back as he stared into her eyes, daring her to say something. A wave of arousing fear washed over her as he slammed the cup to the floor. It splintered like rotted wood and the hot liquid went everywhere. 

“Iced!” 

She jumped. 

He raged on. 

“Iced coffee!” he screamed. “It’s not hard!” 

Nerves ran down her spine and Y/N moved to grab a rag from the craft table.

“It’s fucking unprofessional!” 

A knot formed in her chest and instead of shying away, she felt a surge of defiance. 

“You’re fucking unprofessional,” she ripped under her breath. 

Soldier Boy’s head cocked to the side. She felt his eyes on the back of her neck, digging in. 

“Excuse me?” 

Y/N turned back with the cleaning rag in hand. “Hmm?” 

His jaw clenched and his upper lip twitched. “The fuck did you say to me?” 

Batting her eyes innocently, Y/N shrugged and bent down to mop up the spill. “I didn’t say anything.” 

His anger followed her down, watching as she dabbed at the floor. Leaning close, he whispered a warning. “I have super hearing, you know.”

Y/N hummed as if she found him boring even though she was screaming inside. “That must be fun for you.” 

Again, his teeth gnashed together and she swore she could feel the air around them grow hotter. A deep growl rumbled in the back of his throat and Y/N met his gaze, unfazed but terrified. He was taken aback by her bravery and somewhat impressed by her attitude.

“You know-”

The director called for attention and Soldier Boy sat back up, getting ready while keeping one eye on the mouthy PA. 

“OK! Let’s run again!”

If he got through two lines in a row, it was shocking. More than once, he stopped just to glare at Y/N. She couldn’t tell if he was contemplating snapping her neck or undressing her with his eyes, so she kept her arms crossed and her expression cool. 

“If taking drugs is uncool,” he mumbled, laughing at himself, “then I’m the most uncool motherfucker on the planet…” 

Some of the crew laughed along, but Y/N sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. “You really are,” she muttered. 

His laugh died away instantly and he threw daggers with his eyes. “Fuck you.” 

Y/N cocked a brow. “Like I’d let you,” she laughed. 

Soldier Boy straightened up, surprised. His annoyance turned to interest and he licked his lips. “Oh, I think you’d let me.” 

She tongued her cheek and popped a hip. “You think?” 

“I know.” 

“Pfft.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.” 

His smile faded and she turned away, giving him a literal cold shoulder. 

The air shifted and her heart stopped when his big hand wrapped around her upper arm, jerking her back a step. 

His lips grazed her ear. “You wanna rethink that last statement, sweetheart?”

Y/N tried to wrench her arm away but his grip was absolute. She spun around to face him and nearly lost her footing. He was impossibly close and regrettably gorgeous. She gasped. 

“Get off me.” 

He blinked slowly and looked her over. He could hear her heart pounding, see the blood rush to her cheeks, smell her arousal. “You’re so… interesting.”

She swallowed hard. “W-What?” 

“Defiant and bitchy, but oh so hot for me.” 

“Fuck you, no I’m not.” Again, she twisted her arm to break free but it was no use. 

His fingers tightened, bruising her flesh. “You are,” he grinned. “I can smell it.” 

“You’re disgusting,” she spat. 

Behind them, the director tried to regain control. 

“Um- let’s uh- if we could just go one more time-” 

Soldier Boy shook his head. “No. We got it.” 

“We really didn’t,” the man pleaded. “I really think we should go again from the top.” 

“No,” he repeated, dragging his eyes down her trembling body. “That’s a wrap!” 

She wasn’t sure if he was carrying her or if they were simply moving too fast for her brain to register her feet on the ground. 

Soldier Boy broke the lock on a random office door and shoved Y/N inside. He flipped on the lights and kicked the door shut as he turned to smirk at her. 

“Now, where were we?” 

Y/N backed away, internally battling her desire and aversion. “I believe I was telling you what a piece of shit you are.” 

He laughed at her daring words. “You’re something else, you know that?”   

She shrugged, playing it cool. “It’s been said.”

“Yeah, but not by me.” With a smug smile, he pulled the mask from his face and ran a hand through his hair. 

Y/N felt her defenses crack. Her vision blurred for a second. “Um… I… really don’t care what you think, actually.” 

He clicked his tongue and took a step closer. “I think you do, actually.” 

Her heart skipped two beats in a row and then struggled to catch up. “Actually, you can fuck off.”  

“Maybe.” Soldier Boy grinned and closed the space between them. “Or…” He reached for her throat and her body tensed. Instead of a death grip, he slipped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her close. He was gentle, but she could feel the strength pulsing underneath his touch. “I can fuck you.”

She couldn’t think of a protest that would even remotely come off as true but it didn’t matter anyway. Before she could speak, his lips were on her and her mind melted. He slid his tongue between her lips and her breath stopped. He ran his left hand across her tits and her legs went weak. 

When he pulled back, she swayed forward, caught in his pull and utterly on fire for him. 

His laugh was smug. His lips were wet and plump. 

“Knew you couldn’t resist me,” he teased. “But it was a nice try.” 

Every bit of resistance faded into his grin and Y/N dove at him, grabbing a fistful of the fabric collar loose around his throat. He laughed into her hungry kiss and set his hands on her hips. He lifted her as if she weighed no more than a feather, and slammed her down onto the desk like she was simply a toy for his amusement. 

He rocked into her and Y/N moaned loudly. His cock was hard and she reached down, rubbing him through the spandex tights. 

“How- how do these come off?” she whimpered, tugging at his bottoms. 

Another deep kiss blew her mind and Soldier Boy held her chin in two fingers, stretching her throat and setting her face where he wanted. She held the pose while he backed away and stripped for her. Layer after layer of forest green and woody brown fell away and Y/N clenched her thighs tight as more muscle was revealed. 

“Fuck… you’re gorgeous,” she breathed. 

He smirked and spread his feet apart. “I know.” Grabbing his dick, he stroked himself slowly and nodded at her. “Now you.” 

Y/N shivered and hopped down from the desk. Nervously, she tugged at the hem of her oversized periwinkle sweater and yanked it up. 

Soldier Boy sucked his teeth. “No. Slowly.”

She took a breath and started again, this time lifting away the soft polyester slowly and deliberately. Next came her jeans and he hummed in lustful admiration as she tugged the acid-washed denim down her thighs.  

“Very nice.” 

Embolden, Y/N turned and shook her ass for him as she unhooked her bra. 

“Go on…” 

She tossed the garment over her shoulder. 

“Keep going.”

Aching with anticipation, she slid her hands into her panties and inched them down, bending at the hips and showing him everything. 

“Fucking hell…” 

He was on her in a second; big hands tight on her hips, hard cock snug between her thighs. He settled there for a moment, letting her juices drip down onto his throbbing shaft. She leaned back and he scratched his fingers up her sides and scooped her tits into his warm palms.

“Fuck… your hands are so big,” she mewed. 

He jerked his hips and the tip of his cock slid against her clit. 

“Just my hands?” 

Y/N bit her lip and wiggled against him. “Let’s find out.”

He flipped her over like it was nothing and threw her down on the edge of the desk. She spread her legs wide and he set up camp between them. 

“You ready?” he asked, already lining up. 

She nodded breathlessly and arched her back off the desk, begging. “Do it. Please!”

It was almost painful the way he snapped his hips into her. His thick cock spread her apart and her flesh burned at the pull. She bit back a scream when he pressed all the way in; dropped her jaw when he tugged her hips down off the desk. His blunt nails sunk into her soft curves, nearly drawing blood. She held her breath. He thrust his cock deeper inside. She lost her mind. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…” It was all she could say and it amused him like nothing else. 

With a grunt, Soldier Boy lifted her legs high and pushed forward, bending her in half. The new angle pushed him in so deep Y/N thought she could feel his cock tap against the base of her throat. She gagged and her eyes rolled. He laughed and dipped down to lick at her lips. 

“What a good little bitch,” he teased. “Taking my cock so good.” 

She moaned with each hard thrust and her tongue rolled out of her mouth. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. There was nothing but mindless, pounding pleasure and his bright green eyes. 

He ran his tongue up hers and hummed. “That’s a good idea.” 

In a flash, she was on her knees, swaying side to side as he stroked his cock. His fist was a blur, her eyes were white. 

“Open wide.” 

Y/N dropped her jaw and he slid inside. 

“Suck.” 

Her lips clamped down and she took a deep breath, pulling at his velvety skin. Her tongue undulated against the pulsing vein of his big cock and Soldier Boy fit his giant hand on the back of her head. He held her in place and bucked his hips, jabbing his cock down her throat. She choked on him, moaning in bliss and protest as spit spilled from the corners of her mouth and coated her tits. 

“Fucking perfect,” he grit, throwing his head back and enjoying her desperate whimpers and the tightness of her throat. 

Her eyes began to water and he could hear her lungs screaming for air. He set her free. 

“Fuck!” Y/N wobbled on her weak knees and nearly fell to the floor. 

Soldier Boy caught her quickly and set her back on her feet, bent over on the desk. Her tits smashed against the wood and he kicked her legs apart. 

“You’re one hell of a PA,” he praised. 

Her cunt pulsed as he ran the tip of his cock across its lips. “It’s… my… job…” 

He grinned. “Sure is.” He pushed inside. “Gotta give the talent your full attention.” He slapped her ass hard. “Give them anything they want.” He grabbed the back of her neck and lifted her off of the desk, arching her spine awkwardly. “Isn’t that right?” 

She moaned. “Yes!”

“Correct.” 

He let her go and she fell back down, just a ragdoll for him to fuck to his satisfaction. 

When he was done he slapped her ass, leaving a welt behind as a souvenir. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, already forgetting about her as he tugged his suit back on and fixed his hair. 

Y/N crumbled to the floor, her legs spread wide, her back against the desk. She sat there for a long while, feeling his palm print burn on her bottom and his cum leak from her cunt. He didn’t look back as he left, didn’t even shut the door. 

Soldier Boy disappeared down the hall and Y/N shook herself, wondering how the hell she’d broken her promise and let him get to her. 

Not that she was mad about it. 

Just sore. 

[lala-blahblah]

I absolutely cannot sit down and write a nice version of this bc my brain says no, but i would like to let you all know I'm thinking of a fanfic where older Edgeworth is moving back to the US (or japan, whichever universe you subscribe to) and runs into Nick in the store while buying mass produced art to hang on the walls of his new house.

And Nick is like "dear god do you want your house to look like a dentist's office. Please do better" (in a friendly way, they are too old for rivalry at this point) and so Nick invites Edgeworth to come over and take any of his old artwork from college, since it is just sitting in a portfolio in a closet somewhere. And Edgeworth agrees to come over and look through Nick's old stuff together. There are themes of 1) growing older and like reflecting on the past and 2) Nick's character trait of finding meaning in challenges vs Edgeworth's tendency to stick with what he does well. In my head I imagine that Nick was good at art and it came somewhat easily to him and that bored him, and he was drawn to law in part because it was hard and it excited him and made him want to try harder. And i think tying that in with fatherhood, like it being unexpected and hard but something he thrives at because he feels good when there's a challenge. Potentially also touching on how like, when he lost his badge he felt very listless and depressed because he wasn't being challenged anymore, there wasn't anything to drive him and motivate him. And I think Edgeworth would be impressed by seeing Nick's old pieces (I assume he hasn't seen much of his art before) and wondering why he didn't choose to pursue art further. He also thinks about how art had always put him off personally because he couldn't get it "right" right away, and on the other hand how the structure and logic of law came easily to him, which led him to become a lawyer. I think he measures his self worth by his success in his field because he never had the support to believe he had intrinsic value as a person and maybe wasn't so good at making emotional connections with people. So that big contrast between them is so interesting... I think Edgeworth would be jealous of Nick's bravery in pursuing something he was bad at without giving up and Nick would be jealous of Edgeworth's success in law, but in a subdued way as they've grown older.

A far as actual scenes in the fic, I think I would use Nick's art as a conduit for my own agenda to have them talk about topics that are of interest to me... I would like Edgeworth to feel out of his depth for once and for nick to be the confident one as he talks about something he is well versed in, and for edgeworth to have to face that discomfort and also be a little impressed intellectually with Nick. I think I would do that by having them look through some abstract art Nick did (my intro painting classes were all abstract so we could focus on color mixing and getting comfortable with the medium). Edgeworth compliments Nick on a painting with a bunch of colored squares in gradient clusters and then gets embarrassed when Nick tells him those were just color mixing swatches. Alternatively, in my mind they are both asexual and I think even though this feels like a hallmark cliche I would have Edgeworth flounder and be very embarrassed over Nick's old figure drawing piece. I feel like Nick would be like "no you don't understand it's all very professional and normal when we draw them, like it's just about learning the shape language" and Edgeworth would be like "this is very improper and I don't know how to react can we please not look at naked people!". I don't think i would do both, but something to upset the power dynamic for a moment would be interesting! Nick is always the awkward one I want to see him shine for just a moment enough for edgeworth to go "wait what... i've known him for so long but perhaps i don't really know him at all..."

I would want Edgeworth to end up taking a series of 3 canvases Nick did in an oil painting class that were still lifes of objects the teacher had set up around the classroom. I headcanon that Nick actually far preferred drawing people to objects and rebelled against the assignment by hiding his reflection in one of the objects in each drawing- the top of his head is hidden in an ornament on a christmas tree, his eye is reflected in the shine of a china vase, etc. So it's a little secret, and Edgeworth kind of likes that... it is sweet in a way to see a much younger Phoenix captured in time like that. Something Edgeworth will be reminded of when he sees the paintings but nobody else will catch onto

I would want to layer this with a fatherhood storyline... I think i would frame it as nick inviting edgeworth over to dinner with him and Trucy and Edgeworth stepping into this domestic family life as a visitor and witnessing how its transformed Nick, like seeing him from a different lens. I think after they pick out paintings and have dinner they sit around talking. Trucy had been sitting with them, earlier she showed off some magic tricks and gave Edgeworth a picture of hers from the fridge to add to his new art collection (it's a rainbow dolphin and a sea turtle wearing top hats. Nick says she's in her Lisa Frank era). But she's been quiet for awhile and Nick realizes she's fallen asleep and it's like 11. He's like, crap, i screwed up i should've paid attention and gotten her put to bed, I'm a bad father and I have an audience for this failure. And on top of that, I already failed at being a lawyer, no matter what I try I always disappoint everyone. It's an unexpected moment of vulnerability there... like he's seemed so put together and grown up to Edgeworth this whole time like a whole different person, but he's not a different person he just has different sides to him. And this moment is one where edgeworth can be like hey, no, you're a great dad, and I'm impressed by you and everything you achieved. And I think that could lead into vulnerability from Edgeworth about his relationship with his dad and how he misses him/how he feels like he hasn't really been loved by anyone since his dad died, and how Trucy is lucky to have someone like Nick in her life.

Nick excuses himself to carry Trucy to bed and Miles starts cleaning up the kitchen. I would give a moments pause here to talk about the strange intimacy of going through someone else's kitchen cabinets and drawers, you feel like a stranger there trying to put yourself into someone else's shoes to understand how they live in this space. Maybe he guesses the right drawer for the silverware first try and he feels a little spark of connection. like "we are different in many ways but we are alike enough that we look in the same place for our spoons". Details on the kitchen too about the kid safe plastic bowls and knives that indicate a child is part of the household, that the household has been built around the child, in fact. Edgeworth lives alone and I imagine things are kind of fancy for him (he's a man who wears a cravat so he probably has fine china right). It's completely different from this shabby mismatched cutlery that Nick has, but this kitchen has personality. Maybe he wouldn't mind having a kitchen like this so much. This is a hint at him being lonely, being included in this family unit just for a day has given him this curious sense of longing, for what he isn't sure... does he want kids? Does he want Nick? Does he just want to be part of a family? These are confusing questions and he would much rather not feel anything at all, but unfortunately it is late and he did have a glass of wine with dinner so emotions are Happening.

He hears Nick sigh tiredly as he comes into the kitchen, and Edgeworth starts to ask him where his tupperware is when suddenly Nick is wrapping his arms around him and Edgeworth is Very Tense because he's never good at knowing how to act in situations like this and he and Nick have never been on a hugging level before and he's not sure what this is even for. Then Nick is like "I keep thinking about what you said earlier, about feeling alone ever since your dad passed away. I didn't know, that's such a long time to feel alone. I don't want you to think you're on your own". Edgeworth relaxes a little bit because now he knows what the hug is for and what he's supposed to feel from it. Its very kind of Nick to worry but its unnecessary and he says so. He has colleagues he's friendly with and people from law school he keeps in touch with, he's alright. And Nick says he knows but he also knows it's difficult living the way they do, and what he means is single and in your thirties. Because everyone else is getting married or living with a long term partner or at the very least dating and their lives are focused on that relationship as the center of their being. And when you don't have that, not only is it harder to relate to the people around you but it is harder to feel like you matter in people's lives, because they all prioritize their partner before their friends. And maybe their situations aren't exactly the same (Nick has a daughter while Edgeworth lives alone) and maybe their choices were made for different reasons (Nick used to date and didn't mind it but didn't see a need to prioritize it. Edgeworth found himself unable to distinguish with certainty whether or not he was actually romantically interested in people, and rather than make the wrong choice he decided he would rule out error by choosing no one at all). But regardless, they both know first hand the isolation that comes with trying to carve a path for themselves that does not include a life partner in a world where everyone else comes in pairs. And Nick is reaching out across that emptiness saying hey, we might both be building different lives, but there's room for you to be a part of mine if you want.

Outloud, Nick says "Really, Miles. You aren't alone in this." and Edgeworth says "Well, Phoenix, neither are you". And he stands there and lets his friend hug him, and it doesn't feel like butterflies but it does feel solid and warm and good. And he doesn't even worry about whether he's supposed to let go by now or not, because it's nice, not being alone.

They stand there in comfortable silence for a long moment before Nick speaks again. "hey, remember when you used to hate me? And look at us now." Edgeworth turns his head sharply. "I never HATED you, Wright. I simply thought you were foolish and a waste of my time." He realizes a little too late that this is probably a rude thing to say to the person that just gave you a pep talk, but Nick just laughs, his head still resting on Edgeworth's shoulder. Looking at him from this angle, face almost fully hidden, Nick could be any age at all. It's easy to imagine for a moment that he's the same nervous version of himself that stood across from him in the courtroom for the first time all those years ago. The only thing breaking the illusion is the subtle streaks of silver that cross his temples. Not entirely sure why he does it, Edgeworth kisses the top of Nick's head. He feels odd about it the moment he does so, realizing it comes across not as a platonic or romantic action but as a gesture suited for a dog or pet of some kind. Nick looks up, looking confused but not displeased. "What was that for?" "It was a thank you I suppose". Miles steps away now, still uncomfortable with perceived failures even if those failures are just in social interactions, and begins to gather his things while Nick gets down a tupperware from a cabinet. "Thank you, for the dinner and for the paintings." Edgeworth continues. "I'd like to repay the favor once I get settled into the new house. Trucy's invited too, of course". As he says it, he realizes he genuinely is looking forward to seeing them again. Nick walks him to the apartment door and they say their goodbyes while Edgeworth tucks the paintings (and Trucy's dolphin drawing) under his arm.

He gets halfway down the hallway when he hears Nick calling after him. "Hey! Miles! Take an art class with me sometime" Newfound friendship or not, Edgeworth just looks at him in disdain. "what, so you can show off your superior art skills? No thank you, Wright" "No, for fun. You can make things of your own to hang on your walls. We can do something I've never done before so we're evenly matched. Like printmaking? Origami? Um, pottery?" Edgeworth bristles at the suggestions but takes a moment to acknowledge why he's feeling that way; again, it's that fear of failure. But he's enjoyed himself today and deep down he thinks it could be fun to try something new, not with the goal of being perfect at it but with the goal of spending time together. Nick surprised him today. Maybe he can surprise himself. "... I would consider pottery" Edgeworth admits. And Nick looks really happy about it. "Great. I'll book us a session then. It'll be fun, you'll see. Edgeworth shakes his head, but there's no malice behind it. "Have a good night, Phoenix" "You too. Get home safe Miles".

Edgeworth gets home a little before midnight and props the three canvases against the moving boxes still stacked up in the foyer. Tomorrow, he'll figure out where he wants to hang them. Right now though, he walks over to the bare fridge and carefully pins up Tracy's dolphin drawing. There's a lot more work to do, but it's already starting to feel like home.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

What do you think happened during/after the fight Delta had with his Gaster(in the Final Ep. 1). What are your headcanons for it?

Apologies for the delay in response, I needed to both gain energy/motivation to reply and also to go rewatch Ultra/Vitaltale to refresh my memories.

And also the way the videos were sorted on creator’s YT channel was confusing my brain for some reason, so I just scrolled through their entire channel in order to find every piece on the AUs & put it into separate chronological order in a playlist of my own. Then I tried to rewatch all of it.

Which was hard, because I kept getting distracted and my attention kept drifting away. I will probably try to rewatch again soon, when I am capable of actually retaining the information in my mind accurately.

(Random side note because the thought just occurred to me; I find it very interesting how both Doggo and Papyrus demonstrate bravery when facing up against the unknown threat in Vitaltale Episode 1.4.

Whereas Sans, who will eventually absorb the SOUL of Bravery to become the Delta we know, is all for evacuating. Love how this Sans is not naturally brave in the typical way, even should he eventually come around to gaining the bravery soul in Vitaltale as he did in Ultra.)

Anyway. On to the actual question. My mind is a little wonky today so if I get anything wrong or confused about the question feel free to correct me.

So it’s to my understanding that Echo (Ultratale’s Gaster) calls Sans/Delta to the Ruins for a “chat” after Delta’s fight with Cross. Echo has information for Delta—a way to “fix” their mistakes, but he will not tell Delta unless he fights for it.

Delta calls the information “old,” and says he’s going to beat Echo into the ground anyhow. Gives me the impression that he’s possibly more fixated on his current task—protecting AUs—then trying to go back and fix the past.

Because Ultratale was ultimately rebooted into Vitaltale we obviously don’t know for sure how this battle ends and likely never will, but I personally HC that it has multiple endings.

1. Delta loses, Echo doesn’t give him the information. The two go on their separate ways and live their own lives.

2. Delta wins. Echo attempts to tell the information, but Delta stops him. Says he doesn’t want to know and just wants to move on with life. That it’s what Papyrus, Frisk, and the others would want them to do.

3. Delta wins, Echo tells him the information of how to go back and fix it all. Delta refuses.

4. Delta wins, gets the information, and he accepts. Perhaps this information leads into the formation of a variant AU—a reboot, that creates Vitaltale. Chara doesn’t absorb Frisk’s soul and therefore can’t prevent them from Resetting.

(Side note: perhaps, for a character defining moment, in every ending where Delta refuses to hear or accept this information, Echo always furiously protests against this. Maybe Echo is the voice encouraging Delta to go back, to fix it all and “fight for us,” whereas Beta is the voice encouraging Delta to keep moving forward.

Echo cannot let go of the past because he was shattered and wasn’t ready to leave it, but he is was always aware.

Beta never got to truly live either because they were murdered and kept in a jar, but they were not as aware of the world outside the jar and thus is able to move on easier. Because Beta’s life was over before they truly got to live it, whereas Echo/Gaster’s was cut off at its peak.

Delta is in the middle of this. Experienced with life, but still young. His life is just starting—he’s halfway out of that cage—whereas Beta realizes they are free and is just trying to convince Delta to join them, and Echo..the cage is open, he can step out now.

But he spends his time trying to coax Delta and Beta back inside instead, and to help him bring everyone else back in the cage where it’s safe and familiar.)

Delta, now just Sans and perhaps without any memory of the events of Ultratale, manages to convince Frisk to Reset near the end of a Genocide route and be better. However, the Determined Omega!Chara must still Erase this world—the culmination ending exactly as Ultratale did.

Omega!Chara absorbs Frisk’s Soul, prevents them from Resetting and goes on a Genocide to Erase this world once and for all. Sans attempts to prevent it, even by giving characters such as Doggo hints and tips to help them in combat against the unknown threat.

None of it matters. Sans’ attempts do nothing, it ends in Genocide and Sans absorbs the Bravery soul—going on to protect the rest of the Multiverse.

He always fights Cross, he always fights Echo. He’s always given the choice—go back and try again and again, or accept what happened. Be brave, and move on. Do what Doggo and Papyrus did—brave in the face of impossible odds.

Anyway I guess my little HC is basically that Ultratale and Vitaltale are connected in-universe. Vitaltale is the story of how we got to Ultratale, and Delta must choose between the mortifying ordeal of the unknown and living with his mistakes & losses, or the comfort of a past that’ll end horribly in Ultratale; but at least he never lost anyone yet and no mistakes were ever made.

If he chooses to move on, he goes to the Omega Timeline where he meets Color, Epic, Core Frisk, Killer. Grows closer with Beta, Cross, XChara. Adopts a service/therapy dog he names Zorox (which is someone else’s HC, I don’t know if it’s okay or not with being tagged). Lives life, saving and protecting people.

Sans manages to escape the loop of Undertale only to find himself in another due to the rebooting nature of Ultra and Vitaltale. Only this time he has the ability to choose to escape it, he just has to be brave enough to attempt it—even though it seems impossible.

(Also how, despite the way his experiences could understandably lead him to Nihilism, helplessness and the belief that nothing he ever does or says will ever matter or change anything, he learns to be brave enough to keep trying anyway.)

Anyway. Sorry for the long rant that got horribly off topic at points. I had a lot more ideas about this by the time I was done than when I first read the question. Have Delta & Echo being silly and zesty respectively to make up for it:

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 11

(Prev) (Next) (First)

Chapter 3

*Grian's pov*

Boogeyman doesn't trust you yet, you didn't exactly expect him to, but he's letting you into his plans a bit more each day... You might not like it but you can be patient and right now you need to not rush anything.

You keep following him to meetings, apparently having you here has made going out in person quite a bit safer. Being a body guard isn't what you expected but it is entertaining to be scary...

It takes a few days before he asks something different out of upu...Boogeyman needs a distraction... he needs HotGuy to be occupied for a while ...What a perfect opportunity to introduce Mother Spore to him. And for you to see him again you suppose but you don't aknowledge that thought, after all in the end it is a meaningless one.

You don't even need to search for him, the hero is already searching for you it seems...like he's trying to prove something to himself more then anything...how sad.

He's dreading seeing you, you can feel it. You wouldn't kill him of course, Boogeyman told you not to kill the heroes yet and you agreed immediately with that...after all why would you kill someone so entertaining? Hotguy though... Well, he doesn't know that does he?

You would commend his bravery but it's hardly the time for that.

"Stop there!"

And there he is, fell right into the trap, it wasn't that hard to create a trail of "clues" for him to follow and he played his part perfectly.

"Hotguy."

You do not mock his name this time, you prefer to keep that reserved for the more fun and lighthearted Poultryman...

"Well, I'm sure you thought I would never find you!"

Quite the opposite really...but you won't let him know that...let him keep at least a bit id his dignity as the top hero.

"..."

"No response? Fine, I'll make you talk once I capture you!"

"You plan to capture me, do you even know what I am?"

"... Not really "

Of course, you didn't expect him to, you didn't introduce yourself to him after all. You just needed the opening, he doesn't even notice the purple mist that begins to surround him.

"Mother Spore, at your service"

"Mother Spore? That's a-"

Oh... he does notice the mist, perhaps you did not distract him enough. He jumps away from you. Hm, interesting.

"Aha! Your trick failed!"

You clap your hands very slowly as you approach him slowly... he's definitely unsettled.

"Congratulations, how.. impressive"

He takes out his bow... hmpf, he wants a fight? He'll get one.

Hotguy sends an arrow your way, his precision is impressive... Unfortunately for him he's fighting you amd he's at a steep disatvantage... You summon a wall of fungi, the arrow sticks into it.

You surround yourself in spores, you just need him to get too close for a reason or another. As the two of you move to a bigger area you begin to see people looking, recording the scene from their windows.

Hotguy jumps onto a wall, he flies in an arc above you sending a barrage of arrows your way. The first you barely avoid, it creates an ice crystal in the place where it makes contact. You block the second and third with a wall, the first explodes and the second creates a weird green sludge.

You grab the fourth and crush it in your hand. The fifth explodes before nearing you, it opens into a net that encases you... How fun, you don't remember him trying this much to catch Poultryman. Has he been going easy on you... or was he getting more desperate?

Hotguy unsteadly smirks at you, he really thinks you are losing... You play along, he gets closer. Then once he's close enough the mist begins to rot the net around you, Scar doesn't have time to react... He's surrounded by the mist immediately and he begins to wobble on his feet.

You do not bring him to unconciousness however, you weakened the density of spores just enough to leave him only dazed...You receive a message, Boogeyman has done what he needed to do... Time to say goodbye then.

"You aren't going to be able to get up for a while HotGuy"

You grab onto him while he tries and fails to stand on two feet.

"Do not worry"

You caress his face slowly, he's terrified... It doesn't make you feel as giddy as you thought it would...weird.

"We'll see eachother again... I promise".

And with that you're gone, you do make an effort for it to appear like you're retreating... It's far too early for Hotguy to appear this incompetent.

Pout @/Pouty888

Ok, I could understand when it was only Poultryman but what does HotGuy have that makes illegal vigilantes and villains alike so horny?

💬4 ❤️676 🔄21

| Hotguyfan @/HGforevah33 I mean, he IS HotGuy. It's in the name. ||Pout @/Pouty888 Fair enough.

Hotguydaily @/HGupdates

Resident Hero HotGuy has been seen fighting a mysterious mushroom themed supervillain. The villain was forced to flee but HotGuy was soon brought to the hero tower.

💬43 ❤️12K 🔄188

| Tin @/Tinnnnn20 So this new villain is... something. || Wanted @/want95ed3 Mommy. Sorry. Mommy. Sorry. Mommy. |||Tin @/Tinnnnn23 I don't know what I expected.

HotSpore @/shipper6969

Hotguy x Mother Spore enemies to lovers anyone?

💬3 ❤️12 🔄1

|Poultryguy @/shipper4321 Poultryguy is better. ||HotSpore@/shipper6969 Nuh huh. |||Poultryguy @/shipper4321 Yuh huh.

Ufr? @/Forrealthistime2

Here is why I think Hotspore is inherently a problematic ship and everyone who ships it should be ashamed. (1/23)

💬388 ❤️3 🔄145

|Skyblue @/Skyblueness33. You made 23 posts about this buddy?... ||Ufr? @/Forrealthistime2 Yes. Of course, It's very important. |||Transfemswag @/Surroundedbyidiots. Cringe.

Sausage☑️ @/blessedbythesaint. L take. ||What. @/askingteliling23. Why are you STILL here!?!?;?!

Hotguy☑️ @/HGofficial.

I'm not dating any vigilantes or villains! Why does this keep happening!?!?

💬3M ❤️7M 🔄981K

|Poultryguy @/shipper4321 That's what someone who is dating a vigilante would say. ||HotSpore @/shipper6969 Or someone who is dating a villain.

|Lore™☑️ @/Stratosofficial. I didn't want to say anything but this is getting stupid now. Do you even have a PR team? ||Hotguy☑️ @/HGofficial. Yes...?| |||Lore™☑️ @/Stratosofficial. That was supposed to be a joke but now I'm worried you ACTUALLY don't have one. I for one would never have something like this happen to me. |||| Sheriff ☑️ @/Canarywthagun. Then why does @/blessedbythesaint call you daddy in public? |||||Lore™☑️ @/Stratosofficial. How about we stop talking.

[wooyoungmybelovedhusband]

Mafia! Stray Kids : When you act bratty towards them.

Warnings : public teasing, spanking, punishment etc.. Typical SMUT. MINORS DNI.

Bangchan

You sat on his lap, bored as he was too focused on the meeting. And obviously being too bored, your mind travelled to different places. You licked your lips at the way he knitted his eyebrows while focusing. The way his veins popped out in his arm reminded you of how it always popped out when he grabbed your thighs.

You got a great idea, a great idea of teasing him which was also your most idiotic idea. You placed your head on his shoulder as you started placing soft kisses on his neck. Bangchan's grip on your waist tightened as his breath hitched.

You got distracted when he announced that the meeting was over. You looked up at him confusedly. As everyone left, Bangchan pulled you up with him as he pinned you against the table. "You really decided to test me today, baby girl. I must say, I'm impressed at your bravery."

And saying that he flipped making your chest press against the table, "Oh how you're gonna get it from me." He gave you a harsh spank causing you to let out a whine. "You're gonna be screaming my name the whole fucking night." [Thanks to my beloved sister who helped me finish this faster]

Lee Know

You reached your orgasm for like the 12th time, making your eyes roll back, as you rubbed your thighs together. The vibrator against your clit started slowing down making you whine as you tried to hold on to Minho's hand. This made him completely stop the vibrator and remove it, tears welled up in your eyes.

"Oh you're crying, I thought you would enjoy this. You should have just thought about it before giving me that attitude, kitten." [This is dedicated to my beautiful friend @spoorti09]

Changbin

(This was hard because Changbin is a whole ass sub)

Changbin came from his mission, to find you in his office. He was surprised to see you come to his office even when he told you it was dangerous. He was not exactly surprised to see you talking back to him the whole conversation.

Changbin was oddly very patient with you until he reached his limit that he had to give you a warning about staying quiet and wait till you get home. The whole car ride, back to your house was painfully silent making you curse at yourself for acting so stupid.

Hyunjin

You were out for dinner with the other Stray kids members. You were clearly pissed off at Hyunjin because it was supposed to be your date night and he basically cancelled.

Being in your pissy mood led you to be very bratty making you whine at him to take you home. Hyunjin clearly had enough of your brattiness until he put his hand under your skirt.

He gave you a harsh slap on your thighs and pinched at your clit as you came closer to you.

"Princess you better watch that tongue of yours or I will have to put you back in your place in front of everyone."

Han Jisung

He may not be a strict dom Or an actual dom but when you do act out. You're basically telling him to take control and fuck you senseless. But he takes a lot of time to catch on to what you want that leads to him thinking you want him to submit to you.

But it gets more clear to him when you start talking back to him and break the rules which are kept between you two. He gets what you want and gives exactly what you want. Needless to say, he didn't hesitate to put you back in your place.

Felix

Though many people say that he is not a tough dom. I am extremely against it. My boy is damn kinky, and with you acting like a brat, it will fuel his kinky side and he gets an excuse to be more rough with you. As that being said.

"Princess, it's too much? Oh you wanna come again? I can't really hear you there you know?" You moaned against the gag ball as your hands now felt sore from how hard you were moving them against the metal handcuffs.

Seungmin

"My little innocent Y/n, I must say I'm very disappointed with your behavior. When did my obedient girl become like this. You know only good girls get to cum so stop fucking whining and take what you get." Seungmin said as he dived back in between your legs.

Your legs shook convulsively as you tried to control your orgasm, wanting to be good for him. Well you knew you wouldn't get to cum until he is satisfied so it was your dumb option to act bratty with him and you got what you deserved.

Jeongin

(MY MAN, OKAY MOVING ON)

Jeongin is one of the stricter doms of Stray kids. He wouldn't tolerate you misbehaving with him. So when you sent him a rather erotic video, it made his veins pop out. He hated when you touched yourself more when you used toys because what is he there for.

"My little slut, never learns does she? You can't keep your fucking hands to yourself can you? Touching what's not yours." Jeongin mocked you as his fingers were buried deep inside you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I felt like writing this out of NOWHERE. So there you guys go.

-Jeong Aera

[zshipperandartizt]

Hey Zshipper, can you tell me some facts about your version of the 6 fallen humans and possibly post colored pictures of them?

Of course I can!! Also I'll do you one better, I made ref sheets for them all! (minus Frisk and Chara, idk if I'll do them yet since their designs are pretty well established in the fandom.)

I don't know if this is considered an au but in my soul children lore they revived after Frisk broke the barrier with some of them staying in the underground and some going back to the surface.

Prepare for a yap session!

Starting with Charolette the Soul of Patience

Charolette is one of if not the quietest of the soul kids, often not involving herself in conversations. She usually looks pretty sad which prompts others to try and cheer her up and it works half of the time, the other half of the time she'll cry and be upset that she bothered them.

Charolette has selective mutism of which she struggles with it but she tries to find work arounds! One of the methods of communicating she has mastered is using the echo flowers! She will carry a small basket of them and hold the one that has the response she wants to give.

Next is Harry the soul of Bravery

Harry is definitely one of the most loud of the group, often shouting and being fed up with everything. He acts like he hates everyone and will try to distance himself as a way to protect himself which is a trauma response.

Harry is also the shortest of them all! He bickers with basically everyone about every little thing, often trying to make enemies of them. (mostly Clover and Willow because they mostly don't hesitate to bicker back)

Despite him being so angry all the time he does care about his friends, often showing tough love towards them since he can't show it normally.

Harry wants to become stronger to protect his friends and the ones he considers important, often training to the point of exhaustion. He'll pick fights with anyone he doesn't consider weak and sometimes he teases Willow because he thinks they're weak.

Apricot, Soul of Kindness

Apricot is very joyus and whimsy even when things get dire! They often make jokes in order to cope with whatever is happening which makes people see them as unserious. (they're just like me fr)

They have no enemies, often being friendly towards everyone! Despite being loud and enthusiastic almost all the time they're a really good listener which is why some confide in them.

They hate it when their illness is brought up and will often change the subject multiple times to deviate from the original topic. They don't like it when others worry about them, why would they have to worry when they're perfectly fine? (Also fun fact Apricot loves bunnies! They have strings on their bunny hoodie that if you pull on them the ears move up and down!)

Willow, Soul of Perseverance

Willow usually sees things from a realistic viewpoint, often questioning things to get information so they can write it down in their book. They're pretty smart and will solve a problem quickly to impress others.

Willow doesn't really understand basic empathy, often missing social cues and rarely ever showing any hint of emotion. All they want is to keep to themselves, that's it.

Willow likes hanging out with Charolette because she's quiet, they also like hanging out with Clover and April sometimes as well as Sylvine. They dislike Harry because he teases them and calls them a dork moat of the time.

Sylvine, Soul of Integrity

Sylvia loves to dance and puts on shows for the others! She will try to cheer them up with her dancing and will mess up on purpose to make them laugh, if that doesn't work then she'll ask them what she can do to help.

Sylvia doesn't like Harry because he thinks dancing is stupid, she often hangs around Charolette and Willow because they actually like to dance with her. Sylvia is a pretty boasting person, often calling her dances perfect and claiming she doesn't make any mistakes.

She also LOVES sleepovers and playing dress up! She often gets Charolette and Willow to dress in fancy clothes with her and often drags Clover and Apricot into it too as well as Harry sometimes!

Clover, Soul of Justice

Cloverrrrrr!! I hope I did their design justice (heh, get it?) because I had the most trouble with it (I cannot draw cowboy hats I'm so sorry)

Clover is friendly towards all the others, often helping them out or just hanging with them! They will often go along with the flow until something happens, then they will defend their friends at all costs.

They like playing with April, reading with Willow, arguing with Harry, and just sitting with Charolette. They think dressing up is a bit weird but sometimes it's fun so they don't mind. Clover didn't really have any friends on the surface so they depend on the soul kids to an extent, often they try to make sure they're happy and alright. (also another fun fact, they got their cowboy boots from Starlo!)

Aaaaaand that's it! If you want more facts about them then do ask! I'm happy to yap some more about them lol, also sorry for just jumping around my mind is focused on way too many things at once lol

[insomniac-101]

Rose Tyler Character Analysis

Ah so Rose Tyler.

Rose " you like my gun?" Tyler who arguably, is one of the most important characters of the RTD era. A character so influential, that the narrative takes the time to mourn her absence and was single handedly responsible for bringing the series back from the dead.

She's so controversial. You either really love her or hate her, and I think that in itself is a testament to how well she is written. Because she left an impact, and that's not an easy thing to do in a series that has been around for so long

With that in mind though, I find that she is also the character that most people tend to misinterpret a lot. Often framing her in a bad light, rather than with the nuance required to understand her.

That being said I'm about to analyze the shit out of her character as well as some of her main relationships so if you love her, great I do too! Let's be friends! And if you don't, that's a shame but hopefully the way I interpret her journey will help you better understand why others do:)

I must stress that this is my interpretation but feel free to let me know if you saw a scene differently than me! Love reading alternate interpretations, me

Rose Marion Tyler is introduced to us in the first season of Nuwho as an ordinary girl. She has a job, a boyfriend, and a mother but from the way we are introduced to these facets of her life, we get the impression that she isn't necessarily someone that seeks to have anything more. She fits right in with said life and from an outside perspective, one can even argue that she seems content with it.

However it's in the moment where we see her come face to face with the impossible, that we really see who she is as a person.

When confronted with a group of living mannequins that slowly creep towards her , alone I must add, her reaction is one that is quite strange. Here she is, looking to fulfill a task in a completely dodgy and empty area below her workplace and when she sees something odd, she doesn't show fear. She doesn't scream, no on the contrary, she begins to try to rationalize what is happening in a manner that makes sense to her. Never one to assume danger, even when it is painfully obvious that there might be something strange happening.

That is when she meets the Doctor. A man unfamiliar and strange that saves her life right before she too succumbs to the threat. Thus, treating us to our first glimpse into the dynamic between our two leads.

She is visibly put off. Perhaps a little afraid but she asserts that the incident was nothing more than a prank. Something harmless and silly, even though it is quite obvious to us that that is not the case. It's this manner of viewing the incident that catches his attention however.

"Very clever, nice trick. Who are they then, students? Is this a student thing or what?"

"Why would they be students?"

"I don't know!"

"Well you said it, why students?"

"Cause to get that many people dressed up and being silly, they got to be students"

I find this interaction so interesting because it says a lot about her perspective. She doesn't assume the mob meant any harm. In fact, she goes out of her way to make up an even more incredulous scenario to justify their innocence, even when it is obvious that that is not the case. 

It shows nativity, but there's an underlying level of optimism there as well.

It is here where she finds out that Wilson is dead, and we see her react with concern. But notice, she doesn't assume he had anything to do with it.

Rather it's his tone that rubs her the wrong way, and she confronts the Doctor. Chastising him about joking about something so awful and even when he interrupts, she doesn't stop her pursuit for an explanation.

She is on the move right behind him, asking more questions that only seem to have more confusing answers. Following in spite of how absolutely bat shit his explanations are.

In this brief interaction, we see some of the most crucial aspects of her character. Her bravery, curiosity, and stubborn nature that allow her to remain by his side, long enough that he has to physically stop her and tell her to go home.

It is this blatant show of her character that prompts him to ask for her name.

Because here she is, confronted with the impossible yet she doesn't just stand to the side in shock. No, instead she chooses to engage with the Doctor. Trying to find a reason for what is happening, or in other words, a solution even if it's at the expense of her own well-being.

It's when we see her recovering at home, that the initial veil of an ordinary and perfect life is uncovered. Jackie is too busy on the phone to really offer any emotional support to her daughter. Gossiping on the phone about the incident, and in the minute a break presents itself, she uses that time to criticize her for not taking advantage of the situation.

I must stress that this interaction isn't included to say that Jackie is a horrible mother, quite the opposite, but she is human. RTD goes to show you that no one is perfect. That even the most well intended individual is flawed, and that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. This is important to keep in mind when analyzing the relationships between the characters.

Even though Jackie doesn't show her support through words, she still takes the time to give her tea as she is sitting. She is doing the best she can under the circumstances in which she's in. She's conscious that their financial situation isn't ideal, and so by telling her that she should have asked for compensation, this is not to show that she is greedy, but rather it's her way of showing that she cares. That at the very least, her daughter can secure herself some money for experiencing the traumatic incident.

It shows that she's a realist, someone who views the world through a cynical lens and prioritizes survival above all else.

Similarly we meet Mickey, and he is a bit more emotional to an exaggerated degree. Showing physically that he cares with a hug and going out of his way to fuss and dote over her, but this overblown affection seems to make her uncomfortable. As if to show that she doesn't like being the center of attention, and that they are making her feel helpless at the expense of their concern.

Understanding her need for a distraction, he offers to take her to the pub but it's not long before she catches on to his true intentions. Granted he does appear to be genuine in his goal, but it's not an activity she would enjoy and so she tells him to just go alone.

Now similar to the previous point I made about the characters being flawed, that applies here too. The relationship she has with Mickey is not perfect. Mickey is trying to play the role of a perfect boyfriend. He is showering her in love and support, but we quickly see that his motivations are not completely selfless. That really that overblown affection he is showing at the moment, is an act. We see this happen again later when he tries to put on this front that he's her protector in front of Clive, but she shuts that down too. Not because she doesn't love him or appreciate the concern, but because it's not him, and this front he puts on sometimes results in him ignoring what she actually needs.

He assumes he knows what's best for her without taking into account that she might not agree. It's only when he shows that playful nature we saw earlier in the intro that Rose seems responsive to him. As if to show that it's when he's acting like himself, that she appreciates his company. Because what she needs at the moment is not for them to dictate what she should do, she just needs them to respect her decision to move on.

When he leaves, we finally see that the comfort she derives from him is really from the friendly banter they have. At the core of their relationship, is a friendship.

I find that way too many people tend to assume that everything Mickey does comes from a place of ill intent, and that is just not true. He's a person, and he too has his own motivations and emotions that may not always align with those around him. That doesn't make him a bad partner, just a flawed one.

When she wakes up, we see that yet again, she is subjected to more fussing from her mother but it is in this interaction that something interesting about Jackie is revealed.

Jackie claims that her prior job at the mall was giving her "airs and graces" and this is something she tends to bring up later too, when she feels herself becoming more distant from her daughter.

This is a reflection of Jackie's own insecurities, not Rose's actual attitude.

Whenever she sees Rose find a piece of the world to call her own, she tends to put it down. Not because she hates seeing her succeed, but because she fears that once she finds something better she'll leave her behind. That she will have to experience loss once more, at the expense of her daughter rather than her husband all that long ago.

Now this is an assumption that on her part, I'd argue, is a bit unfair given that Rose doesn't ever really show to resent where she comes from. (in Tooth and Claw, she is even named  "Dame Rose of the Powell Estate". Which shows that she is not really one to shy away from her background) Nor does she believe herself to be better than anyone, but Jackie uses it often because she knows it elicits a reaction out of her. She's grown so used to having her around, that now she can't fathom living without her and resorts to hurting her as a means of keeping her close. 

It's an attachment to her daughter that at times, can prove to be stunting to Rose's development but ties back to the long lasting grief she feels at losing Pete. Again this is not an intentional thing she does, but it is a flaw that exists and shows up when they butt heads.

(I stress this point because I've noticed that this Era of Doctor who in particular has many instances where characters declare something, only for it to be a false conclusion. It's vital that one considers not only the words, but the actions of said characters. To read into their words, rather than to take it a face value. I will be doing a lot of that here, case in point)

Rose often has to put up boundaries with Jackie. Not because she doesn't love her, but because the extent of her love and attachment can be overbearing to the point that it interferes with her life. They have survived so long by functioning as a unit, but now it's time for Rose to prioritize her own feelings and that in turn scares Jackie.

I must stress that Rose is still so young, only 19. For her to have the maturity to know how to handle her mother as well as handle the household (we see her fussing over the cat flap, demonstrating that she is constantly aware of the circumstances they live in) shows that she had to grow up fast. Being constantly aware of adult concepts such as finances and the death of a parent from a young age, tends to do that to a kid.

Now skip ahead to when nine stumbles upon her home, and she manhandles him inside lol. She takes control of the situation, offers him a cup of tea and asks him to accompany her to the police station so that they can both handle the situation.

I must stress, once again, that she has no reason to assume he's a good person. For all she knows, he could have purposefully caused the explosion to kill them all. But no, she assumes that he was just a victim like herself and aims to bring closure to the incident.

Rose is someone that assumes the best in people. We see this time and time again with how she interacts with those around her. When she is talking about the body that was found, she assumes it's Wilson and talks about how sorry she is that it happened to him and that he was a nice bloke (even though her face tells the opposite lol).

She is kind. It's in her nature to care for and care about others. It's because of this that she is able to get through to the Doctor when he tries to leave again.

So she insists that he tell her what's going on, and continues to pursue him while making conversation. At one point he asks if she believes him and she admits that she doesn't, but nonetheless she continues listening. 

A kind act she then does for Clive, which suggests that the reason why she stays is because she recognizes that everyone wants to be heard. That to be acknowledged, means to finally feel validated. Something that seems to be absent from her life, given how often both Mickey and Jackie tend to dominate conversations regarding her decisions.

She gives him the space to joke around, to add levity to the discussion but the moment he confesses that he is alone she stops it.

Because she is concerned now. He, a complete stranger yet she offers him the patience to go at his own pace. All while, she is firm in her pursuit for an answer but not at the expense of upsetting him.

This is why they work.

She has the emotional intelligence that he lacks. She challenges him by offering a perspective that completely goes against his own. And when he's being insensitive or too focused on the big picture of things, she is able to put him in his place. Reel him back in and set him straight again.

(I did a more in depth analysis on the 9th doctor here if you're interested!)

It isn't until after she leaves Clive that we see her actually start to reconsider the direction that her life is going in. Because now more than ever, she realizes just how narrow her perception of the world really is. How insignificant her life is, in the grand scope of the universe.

She reminisces, talking about how she could go back to school now that she has the extra time to spend. Another decision, mind, that was done on behalf of someone else and she is starting to regret.

She asks for Mickey's opinion but him not actually being him, isn't able to give his input and changes the subject.

"I'm sorry, was I talking about me for a second?"

Her offense is something that stands out to me, however.

Based on prior interactions, one can come to the conclusion that Rose is not as open as she appears to be at first glance. When Mickey attempted to appease her by offering her the space to talk about the explosion, she shut him down and later on refused to include him in her meeting with Clive. She even went as far as to lie about her prior involvement with the Doctor to her mother. Which in turn suggests that it's not often that she has aspects of her life that are solely hers and so, when she finds something, she keeps it to herself.

This could be due to a number of reasons, but I suspect it is because of the company she keeps around.

Her mother criticizes her job and asks her to change it, and Mickey dissuades her decision to go looking for Clive. She keeps things close to her chest because she's aware that the people in her life won't often support them.

Then the Doctor interrupts, and Mickey is revealed to be a clone. Panic arises but her being the selfless person she is, presses the fire alarm as a means of ensuring that more people won't get hurt. This also shows one of her biggest strengths as a character, she is incredibly clever. Even though she dropped out of school at a young age, she has a knack for finding solutions with very little resources. She's sharp and has a level headed approach that makes her perfect for a crisis. 

It also shows that she has a habit of putting others before herself, because before Mickey even attacked, she was already standing next to the button.

Her compassion, bravery, and quick thinking are what ultimately drive her to save the Doctor's life. Because I'm spite of being in trouble himself, he pleads that she save herself at the price of his own life. Proving to her, that he is not responsible for the death follows him. And in turn she realizes that the life she is living is truly stunting her, because it's her putting faith into her own capabilities that allows her to save him.

That she, just like the Doctor, is capable of doing something beyond what she thought was out of her reach.

That she is free to live a life not constrained by the ordinary.

Now I'll skip ahead to the big decision; the one that seals her fate as his companion and a decision I often see people misunderstand. The decision to stay with the Doctor is not one that comes easily. Her initial rejection of his request is one that displays her hesitance.

Note that it is not because she doesn't want to, that much is evident from the way she's gazing longingly at the Tardis. But because Mickey's pleading is getting to her. He is latching onto her, metaphorically and literally; not taking the time to consider how she might feel about the opportunity.

He does not trust that she knows what's best, which is made evident in the way he often doubts her.

Up until now Rose has been someone that puts everyone above herself when it comes to making decisions. She has to consider their feelings, to the point that she feels the need to hide things from them.

Her mother.

Mickey.

And now she's going to let them snub out that little spark she just discovered she has.

It's because of this that she thanks Mickey before she leaves. Because it's his helplessness that helps her realize how fit for a life of thrills she is. While he was cowering, she in turn was thriving in the danger.

Him doing nothing but clinging to her, made her realize that she is capable of doing so much more than what she could do at his side. That she has the potential to save many lives and make a difference in the world.

So she leaves.

She is not angry at him when she does, quite the opposite, it's him being true to himself in a crisis that puts things into perspective.

The next episode makes her confront the reality of the path she has chosen.

He takes her to the end of the world and she realizes that her role is not to stop the inevitable. The Doctor is not someone that is responsible for preventing bad things from occurring, no, he is a witness to them just like she is.

This confession comes with the loaded realization that not every adventure will end happily. That death is not something that can be avoided and that the Doctor is not a hero. This shows her naivety, and through this adventure, she begins to lose some of it.

She freaks out at seeing the "relics" of the human race. All things she is familiar with, yet, it comes with the startling realization that everyone is dead. 

That she is the last of her kind alive.

So she runs.

In spite of it all being such a shock to her, however, she still has the ability to reach out to someone. Finding comfort in talking to an alien by the name of Rufalo, and asking for her name and background. Extending kindness to someone that she doesn't have to, because it in turn brings her happiness. It shows she is someone that cares for others, regardless of what they look like. That at her core, she is kind and considerate.

One of my favorite scenes that perfectly demonstrates this point is an underrated scene where she talks to a plant. She previously observed that one of the aliens that initially greeted her is a tree descendant that gifts her a piece of her grandfather, and she addresses it shyly.

"Hello, my name's Rose, that's a sort of plant. We might be related..I'm talking to a twig."

It's played for laughs but it demonstrates that her ability to want to understand others comes from a place of wanting to relate to them. She talks to the tree with respect and views it as an equal before realizing that it's just that, a twig.

When the Doctor finds her and begins to appease her by making jokes at the expense of the aliens, she once again surprises him with her reaction.

She gets offended.

All on behalf of the deep south aliens that cannot defend themselves in the current moment from his scrutiny, because she is able to humanize them. To see them as people, in spite of the obvious differences they may have.

This suggests that Rose's first instinct when out of her element, is to try to understand and sympathize.

That way of being, is what causes her to turn her questions on him.

Why he is so quick to judge others.

Why he is able to maintain that sense of levity as he sees the world burn.

And why he seems so touchy about his background.

Something that I wish to add, because we have an instance of this happening in this episode, is that her need to understand others might be rooted in the perception others seem to have of her. People tend to diminish her value because of how she looks. In this episode, Jabe, the tree lady presumes that Rose is the doctor's concubine or even a prostitute. This is why she gets offended and tells them both off.

(This happens a lot more than I realized on my first watch, and a lot of people write it off as her being jealous when that's not the case. That isn’t to say that she doesn’t display some jealousy at times, but it genuinely does not occur as often as people claim it does)

This is also why Cassandra gets under her skin so much. Because she presumes that Rose is inferior and looks down on others but that alone is not enough to justify her being killed. She makes that clear when she pleads for the Doctor to save her.

We also get some insight on why her dad's death left such an impact on her. It's brief but while watching the earth melt away, she says this:

"it's gone, we're too busy saving ourselves no one saw it go. All those years, all that history and nobody was even looking."

Even though she didn't know him personally, the fact that he died alone is something that deeply troubles her. To anyone else he was just a man, yet to her and her mother he was a father, someone that was meant to be a part of her life. He should have had someone there, just like how the earth deserved to be remembered in its final moments by those who personally lived in it. To die without anyone you care for acknowledging your importance must be haunting.

The reason why she stays with the Doctor is for the same reason why the tragedy of her father's death deeply affected her, she doesn't want him to be alone. Loneliness can be so terrible. Had it not been for the Doctor being with her, she would have felt overwhelmed by the weight of the world's end. It's having him there that made the pain bearable. She understands this, and so, she takes it upon herself to be the person he has to look his way. To be the hand he has to hold when everything becomes too much.

But the question remains, to what extents is she willing to go to ensure that he will be okay?

Gradually we see Rose become more confident in her ability to command and reason. She no longer hesitates to step in and offer her perspective, all while she continues to extend her kindness to others. This at times, clashes with the Doctor's own priorities but nonetheless his exposure to her has an effect.

It is in the episode Dalek however, where that kindness takes on a new form, a merciful killing. Up until now Rose has been the one to tell the Doctor to give the perpetrators a second chance. To see the good in others even when it's difficult.

But now this creature that has killed many, is changing. It's growing aware, disturbed, and it's all because of her. She stops the doctor from killing it, but now the creature wants to die. It does not want to become like her. It does not want to become so human that it becomes aware of all it's done and how lonely it is.

For the first time, she is made to confront that her kindness might have just condemned someone to a more miserable end. That humanity is not something that every creature strives for, and that at times the kind decision comes with a price.

So she does what it asks, and orders it to die. Saving the Doctor from sullying his hands with more blood but at the price of her own becoming unclean. Are these the depths to which she would go to ensure the Doctor's wellbeing?

The next two episodes explore what happens when Rose underestimates her ability to make mistakes.

She's become more confident, taking along Adam to their next adventure because she believes she has a good judge of character. Plus he’s kind of pretty, so that’s a plus for her lol

She wants to be the impressive one now and share that wonder for the universe with someone else. To see what it looks like from the perspective of a new pair of eyes, because to her it has all become kind of normal.

The price of understanding the Doctor more, is that it comes at the price of her humanity. She will no longer be able to sustain her naivety towards how cruel the world can be. It will become harder to judge when she is viewing things in a rational human way, or through the eyes of someone that has grown desensitized to the chaos.

In retrospect, I don't think it's a coincidence she is wearing red here. She has now witnessed a death at her hands, and she is trying to regain control. To remember what it's like to view the world through the eyes of someone normal like Adam.

With time, she will grow to be a stranger amongst other humans. She will have a harder time relating to others because her understanding of the world far surpasses there’s. 

Oh but Adam is not like her. Because she assumes everyone is well intentioned, she fails to realize that he might hold ulterior motives. When he fails her, she realizes that she is also capable of making a bad call. That the Doctor is holding her to a standard and if she makes a mistake like Adam, she too can be left behind.

Father's day is where we finally see her make a misstep and it's one hell of a problem. Her initial goal was to be there for her father and comfort him in his final moments, but she realizes quickly that seeing it is far more disturbing than she had initially anticipated.

He's her father. Seeing him die once is bad enough, but twice? All while fully aware that she can easily prevent it? It's a temptation that is far too great to pass up. But quickly she realizes her mistake and she can't think rationally, she is far too emotional to reason with.

"but he's alive,"

"my entire planet died, my whole family. Do you think it never occurred to me to go back and save them?"

"but it's not like I've changed history, not much. I mean he's never gonna be a world leader. He's not gonna start world war 3 or anything"

"Rose there's a man alive in the world who wasn't alive before. An ordinary man. That's the most important thing in creation."

She overestimated what she understood about travelling in time. She realizes this, but her pride will not let her stand down. She wrongly uses his loneliness as a means of keeping him there, knowing that he would never actually leave her but alas he does. In doing so, granting her a once in a lifetime chance to get to know her father personally.

With this opportunity comes the realization that her father was not the man her mother told her about. 

Not successful nor heroic, but flawed like any other man.

She finds out that he and Jackie had a strained relationship, nothing like the perfect relationship her mother described. That he had had an affair and that they were not on the best terms when he died. Really, her mother was protecting her from the reality of the situation. All for the sake of giving her a father figure that would not disappoint her, even in death.

But on the flip side, she is also able to know the best parts of him. Now she has a reference of who he was at his best as well. She is able to have him recognize her as his daughter and when he realizes the extent of her mistake, he takes on the responsibility to right her wrong. So that his blood is not on her hands, and so that she will remember him as the proper father he would have been after he’s gone. 

Note that he does this for her, not because she wouldn't have eventually asked it of him, but because he doesn't want the guilt of his second death to be on her.

She apologizes of course, to the Doctor but not before he does the same. It is in this moment, that she realizes how much she means to him and in turn, how much he means to her. 

When viewing this scene, once should keep in mind that the episode draws many parallels between the Doctor and her father. At one point, it states that she considers the Doctor to be the most important man in her life. so when her father comes along, in misplaced anger she asserts that the Doctor did not want her father to live because it would threaten his importance to her.

The reason why I draw attention to this detail is because I believe this is the episode where she realizes she loves the Doctor romantically. 

When her father touches her face as he recognises her as his daughter, she nestles into it like a little kid seeking comfort from a parent. Now that she knows what it feels like to have a proper father, she has a better understanding of what that kind of love feels like. 

So when the Doctor does the same thing, she stares deeply into his eyes as if just realizing what he means to her. Her reaction to him is almost shy and stiff, very unlike her usual temperament.

I think this is the moment she realizes her feelings for the Doctor are not that of her trying to fill a void her father left, but of a different origin entirely. The reason I say this is because these two scenes, mirror each other down to the camera angle. With both shots, focusing on her reaction to the touch.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that earlier in the episode, she gets mad when her father assumes the Doctor is her boyfriend. She even expresses confusion on why people think they’re together, which wouldn’t really make much sense if she had felt romantic attraction to him prior to this moment.

This isn't to say that she purposefully projected such an image onto the Doctor, not at all. But I think it's this experience that finally gives a name to what she was feeling for him all along. Something that started off as platonic but eventually morphed into romantic love.

(I can’t believe that I just claimed Rose might have daddy issues but here it is. On the bright side though, this goes to prove that the Doctor fell for her first so do as you wish with that assertion lol)

Then Jack appears and finally, their attraction for one another becomes obvious to everyone but one another lol. This is where the whole dancing scene happens and I think you all know what they meant lol I don't have to make an in depth analysis about it. 

(But how curious that she suddenly starts being more blatant with her flirting, after Father’s Day? Just sayinnng)

I must stress now, because this will become critical later on, that Rose is naturally very flirty and touchy. She's like that with most people it seems, but she never really means anything by it. When Jack appears, she finds him attractive but when he starts getting too close she begins to feel uncomfortable. 

She even stops his advances at one point. She likes being liked, even plays into it, but she never acts on her attraction. It's a flaw of hers in the same way the 10th doctor likes being chased by beautiful women, but she's never unfaithful.

Okay so I'm going to say something really radical here, but Boomtown is when Rose and Mickey breakup. For good. Personally, I am not of the belief that they were together in season 2.

The reason why I say this is because the moment Mickey and Rose are left alone, all she can do is recount stories about the Doctor and how great their adventures are. It is here where we see what was pointed out to us previously: that she would eventually outgrow the outlook of those around her. She is no longer the Rose he knew, or fell for. She has grown more confident, happier, and can no longer relate to him. 

In other words, she has outgrown him.

It’s here where Mickey tells her that he is seeing someone else. 

Rose does become a little jealous here, making a comment about the girl's weight, but she quickly realizes it's not appropriate and takes it back. Instead, commenting that she's a nice girl. 

Now remember how I mentioned that at the core of their romantic relationship was a friendship, we see that here more than ever.

When he suggests they find a hotel, she reminds him that he has someone and then questions why he is even with Trisha if she’s not the girl he usually goes for. (They grew up together, so it makes sense why she would know what his type is). This doesn't seem as if she's asking because she's jealous but because she's confused on why he's settling for someone. 

She is concerned for his wellbeing.

To which he admits he is and that he can't move on because he is still in love with her. When he asks if he wants him to wait for her, she can't answer. Not because she is unsure of her answer, but because she knows what it is. Her heart is no longer his.

Her running at the sound of trouble and refusing to answer is the answer. It will never be him. She cannot promise him something that just isn't what she feels anymore. Him yelling that “of course it will always be the Doctor”, is him confirming it. That what they had, has ended. 

This is the moment they break up. Her seeking him out afterwards is not her trying to mend the romantic relationship they had, but the friendship.

But it is too late.

When she returns after the Slitheen crisis ends, he is no longer there. He will not wait for her anymore and when asked about his whereabouts, she concedes that he will not join them when they leave because he deserves better.

This is her acknowledging that she did wrong in having him wait. She cries because it ended in such a heartbreaking way, but not because it is no more.

She realizes she hurt him, and this guilt follow her into season 2.

The reason why I am so confident on this is because they’re never really all that affectionate after this. Yes they hold hands and hug, but that’s something she did with the Doctor long before they were together. They never share a kiss, and the only one that ever refers to their relationship as something more, is the Doctor.

(Who I must add, has his own motivations for doing so. Mainly out of jealousy, and because it creates a barrier between the Doctor and Rose's relationship. I swear, you can't trust these people lol)

That's why her attachment to him never really presents itself as an issue later. Weeell not until the Doctor inserts him as a means of putting a wedge between the two of them. But I am getting ahead of myself here.

Skipping to the final episode, Rose is tricked into leaving the Doctor and she is left to confront what life without him is like.

This is the girl who, at the thought of her father dying alone, almost broke the universe to grant him some companionship in his final moments. 

He is dying out there, somewhere she can't reach.

And in the meantime, she waits helplessly as the man she loves is trapped in the future, unable to do anything but mourn him.

For the first time, we are confronted with a version of Rose that is devoid of any hope. A sight so unfamiliar to both Mickey and Jackie, that they don’t know what to do or say to make it better. 

That does not stop them from trying, however.

It's here that Jackie is able to admit that she admires him for doing what he did. This confession is a big deal because it highlights the beginning of a major change in perspective for her. 

The reason why Jackie and the Doctor’s relationship is so strained to begin with, is because she feared that he would be the catalyst to Rose’s eventual departure. She projected her insecurities onto him, often portraying him as the type to endanger her daughter on purpose and the reason why her life was such chaos. Yet, in this moment she concedes that she was wrong, that the Doctor is more noble than she had initially given him credit for. 

He's not selfish like she initially presumed, but selfless; choosing to prioritize her safety, over his own loneliness.

When Rose questions what she is expected to do now, Mickey is offended. He cannot understand the extent of her feelings, so he resorts to the defensive. Claiming that she must a sense of superiority if she thinks she is not capable of assuming a normal life like anyone else. But just as was shown before, both him and Jackie are very flawed people. They have their agendas and so they impose what they think is best onto her, without considering their own biases.  

Because they care, they assume rather than listen ... but she's no longer the same Rose.

She is different. 

No longer naive and no longer fit to live a life that doesn't have him in it. Not solely out of love, but because she felt she was at her best there.

"it was a better life, I don't mean all the traveling and... Seeing aliens and spaceships and things, that don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life."

She criticizes Mickey for assuming the worst of her in that moment, as he has seen first hand the change she went through. That's why they broke up after all, because that change made her harder to hold onto.

With that change however, is the realization that living a normal life would mean to throw away all the growth she went through. 

To abandon her new sense of purpose, and lose that part of herself that refused to give up. The side of her that held onto hope, in spite of all odds being against her.

And finally, to give up would mean to lose the Doctor: the man that believed in her and never stopped.

When she says there's nothing left for her there, on earth, she means it. She would rather die than live a life without him in it. 

She's an emotional wreck at the thought of losing him but other than it just being a statement said in the heat of the moment, I find that she might also have a point.

Sure it's harsh, I won't deny it but really other than her mother, what is there to keep her there? 

Everyone, even ordinary people, leave home eventually. That is just reality. Her mother is there, yes, but one day she will die. Rose will be all that’s left, because not even Mickey will measure up to the Doctor and it is unfair to expect him to fill his place. 

She will be expected to live a life where not even one person understands her and in the process, forget the part of herself that she grew to love.

What they're asking of her is to give up on the part of the world that she has made her own. To hide the spark that made her into who she is, because that's how much the experience has become a part of her identity as a person.

It's selfish, but doesn't that apply to everyone? Who's happiness has not come at the expense of other people? By asking her to give up her life with the Doctor, are they not doing the same to her?

The reason why knowing that she met her father seemingly changes Jackie's mind is because the revelation is a confirmation that Rose has grown up. Her distress is not out of a naive love that Rose holds towards the Doctor, no, she is aware of the implications of what she is saying.

The reason why Jackie never told her the truth about her father is because at the time, she was a little girl who could not understand that her dad was not a perfect man. She meant to protect her innocence, even if it came at the expense of the truth.

But she realizes then, that she is not that little girl anymore. That before her stands a young woman, who no longer needs her protection. One who has accomplished impossible feats on her own merit, and grew not because of her, but in spite of her.

So when Rose tells her that she has found her place in the world, she means it.

Not to mention, the Doctor was able to give her a sense of comfort that not even she could give her. Granting her a sense of closure and thus cementing just how incredible of a life she is leaving behind. 

Jackie’s own fear of abandonment, is not enough to blind her to how important of a task this is to Rose.

This is why they help her in spite of it potentially meaning her death. Because to ask her to leave it all behind without trying, would be the equivalent of killing her. The version of herself that was forged from the experiences aboard the Tardis.

Season 2 is effectively what occurs when the reality of falling for a man indebted to the universe, starts to settle in.

His regeneration makes her confront the fact that he is unlike any human man. That the rules that define human relationships, will not apply to their own. With that in mind, she seemingly loses her footing amidst the chaotic revelation. 

She struggles to take control of the alien invasion, not because she doesn't know how, but because everything she knew to be true has changed. The foundation of all she stood for, has been broken and she has no idea what her place in all of it is.

When she realizes that he is still him, her acceptance comes with the acknowledgment that their circumstances have changed. That she will have to accept those alien aspects of himself, and redefine her prior assertions of what a life with him would mean in the long run. Because now more than ever, the love between the two of them is stronger than ever. But neither is willing to sacrifice the greater good for it.

Something I need people to understand is that the reason why their relationship doesn't become anything more than a friendship, until Tentoo, is because both are aware that his duty is something he can't abandon. It's a conscious decision on both their parts, not just on Tens.

We see this time and time again when Ten is made to confront the possibility of her death. She is not immune to the misfortune of the world and she knows this. But just because she's aware of this, doesn't mean that she lets it stunt the enjoyment of her life.

This is where their perspectives drastically differ. On one hand you have ten who recognizes that he is not human. The world is cruel and to give in to his love for her would mean losing her eventually. This is why after he is confronted with Sarah Jane, he can't bring himself to describe why she is different. 

Why she is his exception.

So he brings along Mickey to act as a buffer. This is why Rose seemingly disagrees with his idea to bring him along. Her and Mickey are just friends. He still has feelings for Rose, she knows, and to involve him is to give him the impression that he still has a chance. Again, it's not out of jealousy. If it were, she wouldn’t have been so keen on bringing along Sarah Jane Smith after this adventure or Mickey in season 1.

At the price of his comfort, he cruelly doesn’t consider Mickey’s perspective. 

She makes this clear later on when he asks why he was tempted to explore Pete’s world.

“Mickey’s mum just couldn’t cope. His dad hung around for a while, but then just sort of wandered off.He was brought up by his gran. She was such a great woman. God, she used to slap him! But then she died. She tripped and fell down the stairs. It’s about five years ago now. I was still in school.”

“I never knew”

“Well, you never asked.”

“You never said.”

It is his inability, ironically, to not think beyond his best interests that has a tendency to hurt those around him.

The funny thing is, the episode where she is supposed to act jealous and petty is actually the episode where we explore why Rose is such a great match for the Doctor. Because even though Madame de Pompadour belittles her importance to the Doctor and seems to be the main focus of his affectons, Rose still does what she can to save her.

This is who she is. 

Yes, she can be emotional at times but when it really matters, she can put those feelings aside to do what is right. This is something that we see develop in her since season 1. It shows that she is aware of the duty the Doctor has to protect time itself, and it's here that we see her take an active part in it herself.

When Mickey taunts her out of jealousy of their relationship, asserting that the Doctor's intentions are not as pure as she thinks they are, she is quick to defend him. Because she understands that he is not someone that intentionally hurts others. No, he is flawed and his duties are too important to be held to a human standard.

That isn't to say that she is immune to falling victim to the same dark assumptions.

(We see this plainly in the prior episode too, where Mickey's taunts begin to get to her and she assumes the Doctor doesn't value his companions)

It hurts her. You can see that, in the way that she stares longingly into the distance. Coming to terms with the implication of having been left behind, and her role in his life. She will never be his priority. Not when he is the only one left, to ensure that the world won’t plummet in the absence of his own people. 

It is this reasoning that allows her to look beyond herself and reach out to him when he is grieving the loss of Reinette. To ask him if he’s alright, even if its at the cost of her own feelings.

“I’m always alright.”

It is here that she realizes how much he is holding back. How much the constant death is weighing over him. And so, she gives him the space he needs in the meantime. Displaying that strength she has, at the cost of seeing the Doctor at his weakest.

I think this is why in the next episode, when they are trapped in an alternate universe, Ten is seemingly afraid that he might lose her. I mean, to an extent that seems almost overblown but, it makes sense if one infers it's because of how he acted in the prior episode.

 Not only because he seemingly put a wedge between the two of them, but also because more than ever she is aware that his duty is to the universe and not to her. He realizes the extent to which he has taken her love and loyalty for granted. 

How more than ever she is aware that whatever is between the two of them, will never be.

(Personally I see this as his punishment for being so careless in his actions in the prior episodes. Till this day, I still can't watch that episode without feeling so bad for Rose)

His fear is a reflection of his own insecurity: that alien side of him that is incapable of understanding why Rose would choose him above all else.

Rose is not one that would ever hold it against him, however. For the sake of blaming himself, he underestimates the depths of her awareness to the situation they're both in.

She loves him unconditionally. She doesn't expect him to drop his duty. No, more than ever she is aware of the toll it takes on him, from a second hand perspective. 

This is why in Doomsday when Jackie criticizes her for becoming too alien, and for not settling down, she stresses that she will never have a normal life because the Doctor never will. It was never the traveling that made her stay, it was him. The thought of him facing the world alone, to revert back into a miserable version of himself because he has no one to ground him, is a reality she can't live with.

(not to mention, her becoming too desensitized to the life she lives is a problem that can be traced back to season 1 as well. Showing that this is very much a real thing that can happen if she doesn't maintain something that grounds her to the human world)

So she takes it upon herself to be there for him when he hasn't asked. This is incredibly selfless and consistent to her character since season 1.

So when she seeks out Pete, she's not really doing it with the intention of staying. She's curious to see who her father is in a universe where he seemingly lives. Because to her, he is her father regardless of whether or not the body he is in is the original. This universe's versions of the people in her life does not make them any less valid simply because they're slightly different, at the core of them is the people she loves. 

In every universe is a version of the person she loves that when prompted, will save her. This is seen in how it's seemingly these two versions of her parents that do something to help her even at their own expense. With this Pete, being the one to save her before she gets sucked into the void and this Jackie, being the one to save them both from an immediate conversion

(Hint hint, this is the attitude that prompts her to accept Tentoo and it's also a big part of her journey in the Rose Tyler dimension cannon audios.)

This is also the episode where her friendship with Mickey essentially ends for the time being. Seeing how much the Doctor and Rose have grown to love one another gives him the courage to leave. To find that part of the world that is his, even if it means putting a pause on his friendship with Rose. It hurts her to see him go, goes to show you how close they are, but Rose understands that this is something he has to do. That he, just like she did with the Doctor, has to put himself first.

This is why in their final moments together they don't kiss. It parallels her first departure, but without the affirmation that they're going to continue their romantic relationship.

In the kiss they do share earlier, it is one sided.  Initiated by Mickey and one that Rose doesn't seem responsive to, doesn't even close her eyes. It comes unnaturally to the two of them, as if to show how their relationship has changed.

Rose does not share the same outlook that the Doctor does. It's because of this, that their perspectives have a tendency to clash when they're in danger. 

She doesn’t let the moments they have together be weighed down by the knowledge that their time together is limited. No, it is that knowledge that helps her be more outright with her affections towards him. Carrying the strength and hope they both need to continue finding the joy in living in the present. 

We see this presented explicitly, when they realize they're stuck on Krop Tor.

"Can you build another Tardis?

"They were grown, not built. And with my whole planet gone, we're kind of stuck."

"Well it could be worse. This lot said they'd give us a lift."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. Find a planet. Get a job. You live a life same as the rest of the universe.

The Doctor can't handle the thought of Rose dying. You see this, in the manner that he is so quick to give up hope once he has accepted their potential doom. 

It goes to show that the strength and peppy attitude he has, is nothing more than a mask. That deep inside, he is afraid and struggling to hold it back.

This is where we seemingly see how he really is, how he really feels. 

How hesitant he is at accepting that there's a way out. 

How quickly he reverts back to cynicism when he isn't reminded that there's still something to fight for.

Rose understands this. 

It's because of this, that she resorts to humor. Telling him about the potential outcomes of their current situation, that won't end in death. That even as they wait for their inevitable end, they can still enjoy their final moments together.

It's in that moment, where they're both vulnerable that she admits she sees herself sharing a life with him. Something that seemingly stuns him back to the present, and causes him to put his walls up.

This must be terrifying to him. 

To have someone understand him so well, that he is caught off guard by how quickly she is able to bypass any prior barriers.

"I promised Jackie I would always take you back home"

"Everyone leaves home in the end"

"Not to end up stuck here."

"Yeah but stuck with you, that's not so bad."

"Yeah?"

"Yes"

It's her ability to not take his reluctance to voice his feelings personally, that causes him to smile. Because it's the moment he realizes that she sees him for who he is, and understands.

It's her capability to see what he means to say that prompts her to kiss his helmet right before he goes. It is what gives them the strength to watch one another as he drops below the surface with Ida.

In other words, it is what gives her the confidence to reaffirm what he means to her even if he can't express it back.

"Oh she knows"

That is why he doesn't see the need to voice how much he loves her right before he drops to the unknown. In a leap of faith, he realizes that really the only belief he really holds is in Rose Tyler. That he will have another opportunity to voice his feelings, away from imminent death.

Rose also devotes all her belief in him, and willingly shoots at the glass in an attempt to survive for his sake.

Beyond all reason, it's this complete devotion to one another that causes them to overcome the challenges that stand in their way. It is what motivates them to assume that the other is alive, even when the odds are against them.

It's this faith, that gives them the strength to continue living once they're separated…only to then reunite in season 4.

(Where another parallel can be found, in how they both seemingly always end up running towards one another. They both hold on to the one person they know will never fail them.)

"Love and Monsters" demonstrates the extent of Jackie's loneliness. She is a single mother who fills the void her husband left with casual relationships. Her daughter is the only real constant part of her life and the fact that she was "left behind" by her Pete is what causes her to harden and see the world very critically. 

It explains why she had such a hard time understanding Rose and her manner of thinking, because it goes against what she craves: security.

This is why she struggled to let her go, but now the Doctor is essentially her family too, and so her loyalty extends to him too. The Tylers are exceptionally loyal, they love unashamedly and they lend a hand to anyone who needs it: Mickey and the Doctor. They may clash often, but that loyalty is what allows them to hold on to one another in spite of their flaws as people. 

They're the ultimate ride or dies.

Jackie and Rose are very alike in this way, this is why they often fight. Their love for the people in their lives is so intense, that they have trouble separating that love from their decisions. It is what gives them the strength to stay by the side of their loved ones, even if it means sacrificing their own needs.

But something that I think people overblow is the reason why Jackie tells her that she's becoming someone unlike herself.

The reason why Rose's life was able to be relatively stable, unlike some companions who came after her, is because she makes an effort to maintain both her human life and her life in the stars. They're intricately intertwined, much like how Donna is also able to maintain her foundation in spite of the memory loss.

The Doctor really isn't her whole life if you think about it. She is not being forced to stay by his side and she does take the time to spend time with family outside of their adventure. 

She chooses to concentrate on their relationship but she has the choice to divide time for others as well.

There is another aspect of her, that I feel like too many people might misunderstand.

She doesn't think of herself as the Doctor's replacement. Her role by his side does not conflate her self importance, she is more than aware that ultimately she is not him. That she, is not granted the same liberties that he has to put her life on the line. 

She knows she is not the Doctor. And she, is comfortable with embracing her role as his companion. She wishes to share his responsibility, not take it over.

This is why she is able to maintain this human aspect of herself for so long. She's still compassionate and understanding, because the tough call is not on her hands most of the time. If it was, she would have gradually lost that part of herself in season 1. But nonetheless it becomes a possible outcome if she's not careful, just like her mother warned.

When she is clinging for her life in Doomsday, something I don't see enough people point out is how truly selfless Rose was at this moment to let go of her hold, for the good of humanity. She reaches for the lever, knowing that there is a good chance she will die, this is why she takes the time to look at him while she desperately holds on.

She wants the last person she sees to be the man she loves; to find the courage to do what is right at the cost of her own life. It was not done out of recklessness.

This is why they are perfect for one another. Because they both understand that they are not the center of the universe, that ultimately, the duty they now share comes first.

This is explored further in the Dimension Cannon audios, that gives context to the development she goes through that leads to her reappearance in season 4.

Her reasons for using the dimension cannon are more complex than they appear at first glance. Her sole reason for finding him is not only because of the love she feels for him, but because she also has to put a stop to the mass destruction of every universe. 

I see way too many people use her reasoning for coming back as evidence that she has this weird obsession with the Doctor, and that's just not true. 

She seeks him out because she has to. 

If she gets to stay with him afterwards, that's just a plus.

(from here on out, I will give out some direct spoilers on said audios to provide more context to the development we see in show. Skip to after the 2nd row of asterisks if you don’t wish to be spoiled)

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It is in the realm of the audios, that Rose is entrusted to travel to parallel worlds without the prior knowledge of knowing where she will end up. Every universe is doomed, and she has to find allies in the parallel versions of the people she loves to pick up on details required to find her original world.

There is no such thing as a parallel Doctor. So she must figure out a way to get back to him and warn him, without his help.

Now I must stress, these audios get dark really fast. 

They do not hold back on showing just how awful this duty is, and how it comes at the expense of her humanity and moral code.

At times, she has to manipulate these parallel versions of her friends and family into helping her. To use them, up until she is forced to leave and in doing so, condemning them to a long and painful death.

 Over and over again. 

Imagine what that does to a person? 

To see the people you love, realize that you can't save them. To leave them behind, while hearing them plead for their lives to be saved.

She takes this duty on, under the pretense that her familiarity with the Doctor makes her the most ideal candidate for the job. She embarks on her first trip, thinking that this might be the closest thing she has to being on another adventure and that in the process, she could save some worlds in his absence.

But it's in fulfilling the role as the universe's protector that she realizes just what she signed up for. She becomes the Doctor's replacement, in the same way Jack Harkness takes on Torchwood and partakes in the duty to protect the earth. 

Yet what makes her different from those two, is that she is mortal. She doesn't have the tools they have at her disposal nor the wisdom that they have gained over the span of their extended lives.

No, she can die.

She cannot save anyone.

And there truly is nothing to guarantee that she will succeed. 

We see her struggle to maintain her distance, to not promise a way out to the people she encounters because there is none. She is no hero, she is their angel of death.

In an act of defiance to the death that will follow her, on her first trip, she saves an alternate version of Clive and takes him under her wing. Only to come to the realization that one life is not enough to make up for all the millions that died under her watch.

It is because of this that she opts to not embark on said missions alone anymore. Instead, she takes her own Pete, Jackie, and Clive only to find that they too struggle to maintain their distance. If not for them, then who will ground her?

It's in one of these solo missions, that she crumbles under the weight of the responsibility that she adopted. 

In a twist of fate, she is imprisoned inside a red phone box. Trapped inside with no means of escaping, and no real guarantee that she will find a means of leaving before the world goes to shit.

It is in this moment, where she is left to wallow in her situation, that we see her break down. She admits this to her mother, who can hear her through the intercom.

"I can't"

"Rose you're scaring me, just get out. Find a way"

"I'm locked inside a police box."

"What? A Tardis?"

"No Mum, a real one. A red one, all musty on the inside."

"Well you gotta get out."

“I know.”

I'll skip ahead, but I felt this was necessary to include to show how dire the situation is.

"I'm sorry.”

“Rose?”

 “It’s the same mom. Same doors, same noise, same light through the windows-I think they’re a bit smaller. If I half close my eyes, i’m there..but it’s not, i’m not. I’m not him. I’m not a time lord. No psychic paper. No sonic, No centuries of knowledge. Only one heart..”

“Sweetheart, I know it hurts but you gotta get it together.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, pick a lock or something?”

“How did he do it?”

“Sheer cheek, most of the time”

“He lit up every room he was in, they always listen to him! He walked through hell like it was a walk in the park.”

Because now she realizes how important it was for him to remain strong, to smile in the face of danger. Before it was easy to assume that she understood everything there was about how he looked at the world. The size of the burden, and what it meant to share it.

But now she’s in his shoes and the truth is starting to settle in. Jackie says this in response, as a means of putting things into perspective for Rose.

“If the universe needs the Doctor, then the universe needs Rose Tyler to find the Doctor. I’m so proud of you but you need to stay alive. One heart. One life, you got that?”

Rose never sought to replace him, we see that here in the manner that she can't handle being in his shoes. She is starting to develop that very same cynicism that he once had and is beginning to feel a sense of inferiority.

This is why she needs someone with her, much like how the Doctor needs a companion. This is a duty that he has to share with someone, not alone.

Jackie believes in her strength, because she knows that she has it in her to prevail. Rose and the Doctor are not the same, but nonetheless she is now the closest thing he has to an equal. And she has to learn to handle this new responsibility through her own means, not by what the Doctor believes is right.

(This is as far as I will share because there's still one audio left in the series and it has yet to come out, so I will hold on to my final conclusions until then. In the meantime though, I urge you all to check them out. They are absolutely worth it!)

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But with this in mind, the hardened version of Rose we see in season 4 makes more sense. It's why the thought of having an alternate Donna die doesn't really dissuade her into using her, and why she is so unlike the Rose Tyler we knew. 

She has matured.

This is reflected in her clothing: the overly practical nature of her outfit and her leather jacket. It purposefully parallels the outfit her first Doctor wore at his lowest point. The version of himself that was overwhelmed by the responsibility he held to uphold what his people once did.

I believe it's this new understanding of his perspective that stops her from putting a name to the nature of their relationship to Donna. She assumes they're together, but Rose neither agrees nor denies her assumption. 

Because she can't make that decision on his behalf, not when he has so much at stake.

It is this new attitude that also seemingly makes her more distant. Less forgiving towards the Dalek threat and less inclined for a peaceful confrontation because she understands that sacrifices must be made for the greater good. It's why she serves as his support system throughout all the chaos, she knows now how overwhelming it is.

Yet that part of her that seeks to comfort those she loves is still there. We see this in the way that when the Doctor is struck, she does not waste time wallowing in all that she has done to get to him. No, she puts aside her feelings and tells him how much she missed him. Tells him she's been busy, as a means of not burdening him with all that she has done to get to him.

(Just as an additional tidbit, I don't know why people use these small bouts of jealousy she briefly displays in the first half of this two parter to justify why they believe Rose wouldn't get along with other companions. She canonically does lol She even compliments Martha and is seen to be on good terms with both Donna and Sarah Jane? Her initial jealousy stemmed from disappointment in being left out. It's not enough to warrant the impression that she is a jealous person all the time.)

With all this in mind, it also offers an additional reason as to why she ultimately ends up choosing Tentoo.

Her final decision is not done on a whim, no, it's her being exposed to the constant dread of a life in his shoes, that puts things into perspective.

She cannot continue chasing after him.

When she is returned to that beach, she comes to the realization that the Doctor is going to decide what is best for her, again. 

In the time they have spent apart, he hasn't changed his outlook on his prior decision. He is still firm in his belief that she is better off living without him (the timelord version), so much so that he does not ask for her input.

It's because of this that she decides to not back down. To not let him think that he can get away with deciding on her behalf because she's not the same woman she was all those years ago. 

Given that it's her life, it is she who needs to make the final call.

Notice that what she asks, when deciding what path to choose, is for clarification on what he meant to say on their initial separation.

The reason why this is important is because the man she knew, would never say it out loud. Only the one capable of changing and giving into that love, would ever do such a thing.

And that version of him is Tentoo.

He is human, but most importantly, his duty to the universe is the same as her own. Indirect. The original Time lord self can continue handling things in his absence so he's got nothing stopping him from enjoying a life by her side. One that can either be mundane or filled with adventure, but it will be spent with one another.

The choice was obvious.

(Notice that this is not the first time she is asked to make this choice. The first time being with Mickey, where she seemingly chooses the life of thrills over her relationship with him, over love. Now that she knows what both paths entail, this time she prioritizes love and chooses Tentoo. 

With the growth she underwent throughout her seasons, she realizes that it's not the adventure she wants, it's the Doctor. This is her, finally making the decision that fits this version of herself that understands that love is what she needs)

But it's with this in mind that she questions what the fate of the time lord Doctor would be if she stays. That is why she says "it's still not right, the Doctor is still you."

Because she personally knows what his role entails. She was barely able to handle it on her own with the help of her family, who is to say that he won't crash and burn when he is alone?

The Doctor is not only his name, but his promise to strive for the greater good. In other words, the role he plays for the universe. She doesn't mean that they're not the same man. No, she means to point out that the price of her happiness will come at his expense. 

That the time lord version, no matter what she chooses, will forever be tied to the responsibility of handling the universe.

"And I am him"

With this, Ten assures her that he too, in a way, will get his happy ending. Because by choosing Tentoo, he guarantees that this version of himself, his tenth incarnation, will not suffer the same fate that he will. A new man will not walk away in his shoes, no, this version of himself will spend the rest of his life loving the woman that he was made to love. To have the one adventure he can never have.

It does not come without pain of course. That is why he can’t bare to see the two together, and turns his back on them. Realizing then and there, that there is no longer a place in the life she will live from here on out.

When she kisses Tentoo, it is both a way of imparting that final sense of gratitude to the time lord version of himself (who allowed for this to happen), and it is also to signify the beginning of a new life she will spend with Tentoo. 

Tentoo is the Doctor, he harbors those same desires that the time lord version of himself has. He is human, which grants him the freedom to choose what path he wants and that path is none other than hers.

It would make absolutely no sense to have her resent him or even believe he isn't the Doctor. 

This is the girl who was able to love multiple versions of her father and mother. That through her solo adventures was reminded that at the core of individuals, are traits that remain regardless of their circumstances.

Why would she not love him too?

A detail I love is that when she hears the Tardis dematerialize, her first instinct is to stop and see it go. 

She is not running to stop him, that much is obvious, because she stops long before she even reaches it.

No, she just stands there and looks at it. 

Just like she would have done had she had the chance to see the earth go on her first trip. This is her goodbye, her affirming that he will be remembered and his importance in her life.

That is why Tentoo joins her, silently taking her hand as if to assure her that he is still there.That he understands that this, is her way of saying goodbye to his other self. But don’t fret, it won’t be long before they too will have their own adventures amongst the stars.

That being said, God forbid he finds out that Jackie joined her on her dimension cannon adventures, he would freak lmao

[chickenparm]

By Choice or By Accident (Wanderer/Reader)

Spoilers for Interlude Chapter: Act III Inversion of Genesis

i made the executive decision that the traveler fucks around a bit and takes a good while longer to decipher what scara changed with irminsul and wow, that's a convenient amount of time for him to get real soft on someone huh-

(also i believe scara says he doesn't like sweets only because ei DOES like sweets and he secretly loves them you cannot change my mind, back off)

AO3 LINK

Wanderer/Reader

5,258 Words - SFW

Nothing heinous. Fluff, 2 seconds of Angst, meandering narrative, skipping time a little bit, Reader is a candy maker. Very indulgent, don't take this seriously.

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Despite its status as a hub of commerce, it’s rather obvious when a new face arrives in the Grand Bazaar. Even more so when they’re dressed like that - soft blues against striking azure, a wide hat and carefully placed body armor to show martial skill. 

When the grocer across the way brings home a straggler, your initial thought is to be wary. There’s an unsettled quiet around him as he keeps his head ducked low and his face carefully hidden. The protection on his arms and shins suggests some martial skill, yet there’s no vision to be seen on his person. 

In the beginning, you’re wary - and rightfully so. Then his head lifts and his eyes move around the bazaar before he realizes you’re staring, and something fundamental changes in that split second. The air around him shifts, the guarded expression in his eyes bleeds away, and you’re left staring at excited eyes and a smile that shines with both anticipation and trepidation. 

The grocer’s new stray becomes a fixture. One that you quietly watch from your stall of handmade sweets, your gaze occasionally broken by the excited child or curious adult, all of whom are the sources of your livelihood here. But even your regulars find it hard to keep your attention when something so interesting is just across the way. 

Initially, the first word you’d use to describe him is untouchable. Like something priceless to be placed on a shelf. Only to look at, never to hold in your hands and sully it with your touch. Even as he works diligently at the grocer and displays less than fragile tendencies, you still can’t keep yourself from marveling at the otherworldly sort of perfection. 

Then, just like that, it’s swept away in the span of a short interaction. 

While you’ve overheard his quiet arguments with the grocer about not accepting pay, you know for certain he’s been tipped on deliveries to their customers. It’s what gives him the means to tentatively cross the walkway to your stall, stand a respectful distance away, and let pretty violet eyes wander over what you have on display for the day. 

And they are pretty. A color you’ve never seen before, even in a city like Sumeru where fabrics in all manner of hues are commonplace. You’re not entirely sure that someone could accurately recreate such a shade of purple. 

Quietly, as if to keep from imposing on you, he steps a little closer and squeezes the pouch of mora in front of him with a grip so tight his knuckles turn just a little lighter than the rest of his pale skin. It’s painfully obvious that he’s nervous, but his chin lifts and his chest expands with an inhale, and you’re impressed with the bravery he’s showing to simply peruse a candy stall. 

“Please recommend something to me!”

He says it like he’s about to run into battle - and your heart that was wary at first melts. Any caution is thrown to the wind as your shoulders relax, and a smile spreads across your face, and you ask, “What do you like?”

To your surprise, he clams up for a moment, twisting at the ties of the mora pouch until you’re certain the ropes are going to unravel. The last thing you expect is a quiet, “...I’m not sure.”

Okay. You can handle that, as strange as it is. Going into your usual sales pitch with gusto, you try your hardest not to be distracted by the way he cocks his head and leans in, listening with rapt attention as you point out each little piece, which were handmade and which you had brought him, which were your favorites and which ones most people seemed to gravitate toward. 

“These ones aren’t popular, but I like them. They’re sour, but once you get to the middle, there’s a sweetness that chases it away. Just don’t eat too many, they’ll make your mouth sore!”

“It’s sour, but you say they’re good?” His fingers pinch his chin in thought as he looks at each flavor you have of the small selection. It’s no use keeping a large stock when its audience is few and far between. “Sour on the outside, sweet on the inside, huh?”

“It makes the sweetness that much nicer if you can make it through the tough bit. It’s kind of like life, isn’t it? Once you make it through the difficult parts, the moments that are softer are that much better when you’re in them.”

Violet eyes watch you in wonder, lips gently parted as he mulls over your impromptu advice. With warm cheeks, you busy yourself with straightening the rows, the smallest bit of embarrassment making your fingers shake. They don’t look any neater when you’ve finished.

He picks one of everything you indicate as your preference, carefully counting out the coins and giving a little extra that you try to place back in his hand. But he grasps your wrist until your palm is up, pushing the extra coins there and using his free hand to curl your fingers around them securely. The smile on his face is wider than any you’ve seen, cutting into his cheeks and making the corners of his eyes squint in its wake. 

“Just for being kind, that’s all.” And his touch lingers for a moment long enough to make your heart skip, your fingers itching to grasp at his own so he could stay just a little longer. “Can I come back tomorrow?”

“I don’t think you’ll get through all that candy in a night.” Or he could, you’re in no place to judge him for it. Certainly, children much smaller than him have performed that feat before. 

In return, he smiles sheepishly and focuses on his hands holding yours, his thumb pressing against the pulse point of your wrist. There’s no doubt he can feel your heart racing from his touch and his presence, his soft grin and the slight flush on the apples of his cheeks. “Maybe not. But… just to talk to you? I’d like to know you if you’d let me.”

If he notices your persistent giddiness for the remainder of the bazaar’s open hours, he mercifully doesn’t make any comment on it. He simply returns the next day with praises over what you’d sold him the day before, exclaiming that the sour candies were his favorite, and an earnest question. 

“Could you teach me how to make this?”

And how could you say no? When his hands were fisted at his sides to hide how they shake at the prospect of such a simple question, there’s no way you could deny something so… sweet.

That evening, after he closes up with the grocer, he crosses the pathway that separates you and offers to help you carry your goods home for the day. It’s with great pleasure you gesture to a house just two doors down - your home and workshop all in one. He doesn’t let you carry your goods, anyway.

“It must be nice, living so close. I’m glad to see it.”

“Glad?” You ask, watching carefully at how he carries a box with one arm that you often have to drag across the ground on a nightly basis. He must be deceptively strong. The hat he wears is tucked beneath his other arm, leaving his smooth hair a little mussed after a day of wearing it. 

His head bobs as he watches you unlock the door with a key from your pocket, the hinges groaning as you step inside and urge him to follow as you work to light the lamps. The answer you asked for comes as the room illuminates. “I’d hate for you to have to walk so far at night. It’s not very safe.”

“True, but the bazaar is one of the safest places in the city. And I’ve lived here all my life.”

“Spending your life somewhere doesn’t always make it safe,” he pauses, just long enough to set the box of goods down on the table that dominates the center of your home, “but it’s not really my place to be overbearing about your safety. I’m sorry if that was too much.”

“No! It was… nice. Thank you for caring.” The words strike him into stillness, his hand resting on the lid of the box, thumb curling around the edge to press into the wood. His other hand rubs over his chest, just beneath the dangling ornament and pinion that jingle slightly in the comfortable silence. 

The swallow he makes is audible, a show of that nervousness that comes when he seems to be faced with sincerity he doesn’t know what to do with. To his credit, his voice doesn’t waver, even a little. “You’ve been nothing but nice to me. Of course I’d care, even a little.” And that endearing pink comes back again, barely visible in the lights that are just beginning to grow stronger as the flame catches the wicks.

“You’ve been nice, too. Give yourself a little credit.” 

Outside, other merchants are making their way home. The sound of carts and laughter trickles into the room, breaking the tension that’s somehow formed despite such an innocuous topic. Clearing your throat, you ask, “You know, I don’t actually know your name. You’ve never told me.”

While the tension is gone for you, it doubles down on him as his shoulders clench, and he pointedly looks away. The far corner of the room suddenly becomes impossibly interesting to him, at least compared to how you begin to move closer to unpack the box. 

“That’s because… I don’t have one. I’m just a wanderer. Any name I might’ve had, I don’t remember it anymore.”

“Do you not remember by choice, or by accident?”

You don’t miss the way his eyes follow your movements as you bring the sour candies out. Pointedly, you pull a few from their bag and push them across the table to him. As if he were afraid they’d disappear, his fingers wrap around them and drag them closer. One pops in his mouth, and he waits until the sweetness makes itself known before he finally answers.

“A little of both, I think.” The candy clacks against his teeth, running along his molars from one side to the other, as if he’s preventing a single spot from being scoured by the sourness. Perhaps it’s also a tactic to delay what comes next, something you only realize when he says it. “You should know… I’m not exactly human. I’m-... I’m a puppet.”

“Okay.”

“...Okay?”

Giving him time to ruminate over that, you finish unloading the box before stowing it away beneath the table. It gives you enough time to formulate a tactful response. Palms on the table, you lean to get the weight off your feet from standing all day, and explain yourself. “That doesn’t change anything. I still like you, I’ll still teach you. You must’ve lived a long time then, huh?”

He doesn’t give you a number, and you don’t exactly ask, but the way he exhales until his lungs are empty tells you that in his mind, it might have been a few too many years to walk through. Has he wandered all that time? Alone? It doesn’t feel right to ask - so you don’t. 

Instead, as you begin to lay out supplies for tomorrow’s stock, you quietly make a promise to yourself that if you can help it, perhaps he won’t need to use the term lonely to describe himself ever again. 

—

When you first opened your stall, it was commonplace for you to grow sick after contacting so many people on a daily basis. It was just expected, it came with the territory, and you only needed a handful of months for your body to grow used to it. Nowadays, you hardly find yourself feeling ill at all.

Then there were days like today, where the world is too bright, and your skin feels too hot and too cold, uncomfortable no matter your position. The softness of your bed curls around you, cradling your aching joints as you struggle to maintain a comfortable body temperature. The windows facing the street show that the sun is already risen, though at this time of day, not as much of it makes it down to the bazaar, even at the outskirts as you are.

Wrapped in your blankets in the throes of a cold chill is how the wanderer finds you. His steps into your home are tentative - you’d given him a key, and you thank yourself for the foresight. Looking into your bedroom, his expression goes from curiosity to something that couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than fear.

“What’s wrong? Look at me-”

“I’m okay.” Talking makes your head feel thick and muddled, stuffed too full of the meager thoughts it requires to get words out. But he’s kneeling next to your head now, hands hovering over you but not quite touching, like he’s unsure of what to do next. It lightens your mood a little, seeing him fret like this. “Just a little sick - it goes around this time of year.”

“What do you need me to do? Do you need food? Have you had anything to drink today? Hang on, let me get a washcloth.”

And he’s on his feet, moving to your kitchen and out of your ability to call him back. A quiet laugh leaves you as you roll onto your back, snuggling beneath blankets and listening as he sifts through your cabinets to find a bowl, then fill it with cool water to bring back to you. His eyes are more focused on the bowl as he enters, determined not to spill it until he’s able to set it down on your bedside table. 

Before you can say a word, the back of his fingers press to your forehead, and he hisses through his teeth. There’s no need to say that you’re burning up, not with how he hurriedly wrings out the cloth and folds it delicately on your forehead. Even chilled as you are, it feels like heaven, and you all but melt into the blankets as the fingers of his hand linger along your brow. 

“Better?”

“Mm… yes, thank you.”

“Okay. It’s okay.” He sounds more like he’s reassuring himself, rather than you. There’s something haunted in his eyes, something that’s clawing at the back of his mind. Far be it from your place to ask, but the fever has lowered your inhibitions, and you can’t help but lick the chapped dryness of your lips before asking what you wish to know. 

“Why are you afraid? Look at you, you’re terrified.”

The answer is immediate, maybe even instinctual. “I don’t know.” His eyes linger over your face, trailing over the dark circles beneath your eyes and the weariness that lingers. “My mind is telling me terrible things, almost like I’ve… lost someone like this. But I’ve never-... I haven’t been around anyone long enough to care. Not like this.”

He cares. About you. Sure, that was obvious enough at this point, but the fact that he puts it into words so candidly makes your heart flutter nervously. It’s been a long time since anyone would go to these lengths for you in your time of need, and for it to be him… It makes you feel leagues better already.

“I’m… I’ll make you something to eat. And get you something to drink. I’ll be back.”

The words tumble out of him, one after another, with little control. He’s nearly out the door by the time you comprehend that he’d been pink in the cheeks, fingers nervously twirling the golden feather on his chest. He cares. What a novel thought.

It doesn’t take him terribly long to return. Just long enough for your eyes to droop closed and your mind to wander off into dreams of pretty violet eyes and the faint scent of flowers that you’ve never come across before. Soft smiles, a hand running down your arm, a thumb across your cheek as a familiar voice urges you to reawaken. 

“Just a few bites, then you can sleep.”

Easy enough, when the spoon finds its way to your mouth of its own accord. Yet it’s not sentient - it’s held by lithe fingers that guide it steadily. At your back is his arm, helping you sit up so you don’t spill over your sheets. Quietly, you shift a little closer and bask in that faint floral smell that’s like nothing in Sumeru. The only way you can explain it is if you were describing the wanderer himself.

Drinking is an easy affair, thanks to the straw he’d somehow found you, and once he’s satisfied you’ve completed the tasks he’s laid out, so too does he lay you back on your bed. With distance comes a stark loneliness, and you reach for his hand as he stands from where he’d been kneeling. “Stay? Please?”

“Let me grab a chair at least. Your floor hurts.”

You want to tell him to just climb in your bed. To let you curl around him for all the comfort he can offer, greedily taking and taking because he’s always so willing to give. But the last bit of your self-control pulls you back in, releasing your grip to allow him to drag a chair across the floor to sit at your bedside with an exasperated smile. 

“Sleep now. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Hm… Promise?”

“I swear it on my life. I’m not going anywhere.”

The last thought before you drift off is a quiet murmur of your heart repeating that he cares. About you, about your wellbeing. He’ll be here when your eyes open, hopefully with less of that fear he’s still holding onto. The washcloth on your forehead is changed, slim fingers wipe away stray water droplets, and all the while he hums a tune under his breath that sounds like the sweetest song.

—

The wanderer has only one devastating, debilitating flaw - he’s a worrier. 

Whether it’s after a long day and you’re bone tired, or you were too busy to eat lunch, or even if you’re just feeling a little ill, he has an incessant need to coddle. On anyone else, it wouldn’t be a good look. You’re a grown adult, you can take care of yourself, keep yourself safe and cared for. 

But something about the way he does it soothes any outrage you could possibly feel. Insistent, quiet, offered with a smile that seems almost pleading. And you know that while he’s making you dinner and taking on the duty of meticulously creating fruit-shaped candies for tomorrow’s weekend sale, it’s for his own sake as much as it is yours. 

And so, if it keeps him smiling as he carefully pours soup into a bowl for you, you’re more than willing to let him get away with it. 

Chin propped on your hand, elbow on the table, you let your eyes drift closed as the weariness of the day catches up to you. The festival over the weekend was one of the biggest in a long time, and your preparations were wearing you impossibly thin. It meant longer evenings to finish creating stock, longer days to account for new tourists, and all the stress that comes with it. 

Not to mention the last straggling bits of your illness that had kept you homebound for days, still lingering after two long weeks. Your muscles still felt weak, your head still fuzzy.

But the wanderer had been a huge help, especially as the grocer had all but kicked him out of his stall to send over to yours. The grocer had been trying to foist him off on you for weeks now, and he hadn’t really needed to try that hard at all. 

The sound of ceramic sliding across the table in front of you is the indication he’s dropped your food off, and you crack your eyes open just in time to see the golden pinion of his ornament dangling in front of your face as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head. 

Both of you freeze. 

But he doesn’t pull away, and neither do you. Instead, you reach with a shaking hand to the golden feather, grasping it lightly with your fingertips and rubbing your thumb along the subtle ridges. Your curiosity serves an alternate purpose; it keeps him close, prevents him from backing away from you. 

A sigh breezes along your scalp, humid from his breath, and a shiver from you breaks you both out of the odd trance. 

“I’m so sorry-”

“It’s okay.” You cut him off, already anticipating the unwarranted apology for something you desperately wanted him to do again. Even standing above you, he looks incredibly small as his hands clutch at the opening of his kimono, worrying at the edges without a care for the wrinkles he’s creating. 

Letting the feather drop back to his chest, you reach for one of his fretting hands and hold it tight enough in your own that you can’t tell if the tremors come from you or him. It could even be both. Suddenly you’re filled with anticipation so strong it makes your stomach turn painfully. 

But it’s not bad. It’s welcomed, wanted. The only relief you know of is sought after with a simple question. “Could you do it again?”

“...Again?”

“If you’d like to. If it wasn’t a regretful accident.”

His lower lip disappears between his teeth for a moment, then pops out with a pink hue from the abuse. You’re only allowed a second to admire the shade before the only thing you can see is alabaster and violet, your view of the world cut off as he presses his lips to yours with a clumsiness that is borne from inexperience. 

A thud rocks the table from his palm hitting it, an attempt to brace himself as he leans further into you until he’s nearly climbed into your lap. A whine brushes across your cheek through his nose - a high-pitched, cracking sort of sound that’s sweeter to your ears than any song could be, any candy could taste. 

That evening, the wanderer becomes your wanderer. 

And the world seems more vibrant, the music of the festival is more joyous than anything you’ve ever heard. Your wanderer closes your stall and guides you to the theatre to watch Nilou spin and sway. Her movements are nothing short of hypnotic, but hardly enough to catch your attention as you lean against him and let your eyes follow the cut of his jawline, the brush of his hair against his ear, the subtle pink of his blush as he catches you staring from the corner of his eye. 

For an evening, the entirety of Teyvat feels like it’s in harmony. He smiles down at you, and the stars above shine just a little bit brighter. An arm winds around your waist to hold you closer, and the lyrics to the music lose their meaning, the tune grows meandering and unimportant compared to how he smiles so, so gently. 

If asked, you’re not sure that you’d be able to think of a single thing you wouldn’t give up to recklessly chase after this feeling with him. Safe, warm, loved. It’d been there from the beginning, quietly growing subtle roots until it ingrained itself too deep to remove - as if you’d want to. 

That night, you nearly tell him you love him. Something stays your tongue, but you’re not quite sure what it might have been. Tomorrow, you promise yourself as he brings you to your door and kisses you so sweetly that you can do nothing but melt in his hold. Tomorrow, you resolve as you watch him backpedal down the street, giving you that smile you favor so much. 

Tomorrow, you promise the following day as the market quiets following such a busy event, unwilling to break the peace for a confession you’re not entirely confident he’s ready for. Instead, you prop your elbow on your stall’s counter and watch as he smiles at the grocer. As he squats to the level of a child that’s examining fruits, and offers one of the familiar candies from your stall to him. 

Over the child’s head, he catches your eye, and the placating smile turns to one that’s teeth and pink cheeks, embarrassment at having been caught with such softness but not ashamed enough to stop. In the heat of the afternoon, the quiet murmur of the bazaar, the daylight stretching the shadows long as the sun crosses its apex and begins to descend, everything feels the closest to perfection you could ever achieve.

Tomorrow doesn’t come. 

Or rather, it does, but he’s missing. The grocer mentions he’d stepped out of the city to make a run for sunsettias, then left on an errand with a golden-haired newcomer and their floating companion. The Traveler, you recognize vaguely from gossip through the grapevine. They’d keep him safe, surely, but you can’t help but feel a looming sense of dread when he doesn’t return that evening. 

For the first time in months, you eat your dinner alone. 

—

The tables are turned, for once. It’s you that worries over his well-being, so much so that you close your stand for the day and pace around your home like a caged animal. Certainly he must be fine, but he would’ve mentioned it to you if he were leaving, wouldn’t he? It feels wrong to not be aware of his presence, to not simply turn your head and have him at the corner of your vision as a steady presence. 

The grocer stops by to drop a few pieces of produce off, an attempt to check on you and reassure you of the wanderer’s safety with the Traveler. It does little to assuage your fears - nothing does, until the door opens and it’s filled with a familiar silhouette.

Except it’s… not. 

There’s a different set to his shoulders. A tension that lingers for a moment too long before it bleeds away at the sight of you. But his eyes are still the same, taking you in with immeasurable reverence that doesn’t fade even as he steps into your home that’s dimmer than the midday market outside. One, two, three long strides bring him to you, close enough to yank you to his chest and hold you impossibly tight with both arms. 

“I’m sorry.”

Even the tone is different. It’s lower, more tentative, almost as if he expects you to refuse him. Adamant, you wrap your arms tight around his waist and link your hands together, squeezing with everything you can muster as you mumble into the fabric over his chest. “You should be. You had me so worried.”

“That’s… I’m sorry for that, too.”

“You’re sorry for something else?” Pulling your head back, you look up at him. Nothing could have prepared you for the way his face falls, his lip drawing between his teeth as he takes in the sight of your confusion and weariness. 

There is no stalling further. His hand comes to the back of your head, bringing you back close again as he speaks over your shoulder. “I need to ask you something. Don’t be afraid to tell me the truth. Even if you think it will hurt me.”

“And if it will hurt me?”

“It’ll hurt more if I don’t ask it at all.” His chest beneath your cheek shudders with his exhalation, its wavering shaking you to your core as you realize it’s tinged with tears once he continues. “If someone walked in here that looked and sounded just like me, but they were inarguably an evil person… would you still want to stay with them?”

“Looks and sounds like you…?”

“If you couldn’t tell the difference, beyond the knowledge that for the entirety of their existence, so many of the actions they’d taken were for horrible, inexcusable reasons.”

It shouldn’t be a simple answer. The question he’s posed to you has so many layers despite its surface-level simplicity. But with the way he looks at you - wild, desperate, clinging to the hope for an answer that lets him stay close to you - it only takes you a moment to come to a conclusion that settles into place like a key turning a lock. Smooth, easy, with a satisfying click.

“Whoever that person might’ve been… they’re not who you are now.” His breath hitches, stilling under where you rest your head. Whether that’s the right answer or the wrong, you’re unsure, but you’re too far to backtrack now. “I know who you are. People are allowed to change, that’s just what humans do.”

“I’m not human.”

He’s not. He’s told you so himself that he was created, not born. But it’s easy enough to forget that fact when he’s here in front of you, trembling in your arms and clinging desperately to the normalcy you’ve unknowingly provided. The front he puts up is so convincing that you’re not sure it’s even false anymore - he’s experienced all there is to being a human.

“But you’re close enough, aren’t you? You laugh, and you hurt. You’re hurting right now. And the most important part of being a human is love.” Pulling back enough to look at him, to note the shine of tears and the harshness of his bite on his bottom lip to hide its quivering, you ask, “Do you feel love?”

“Yes. So much, it’s killing me.”

“Ah, you just need to let it out then. Of course, I’d stay with you. If it’s like you say, then there’s a long road ahead, and I’m happy to walk it with you, if you’ll let me.”

Choked laughter leaves him, high-pitched and disbelieving. It signals the floodgates of his tears falling, and he releases one arm from you to rub at his eyes to catch them before they fall. It’s a futile effort, one you’re happy to see, even as he surges forward to kiss you, wetting your cheeks with his own. 

Against your lips he murmurs, muffled and sloppy, “Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou-”

As if you would have left him after coming to know him like this. It only hurts for a second that the thought had even crossed his mind to doubt - and perhaps that doubt will creep back in over the coming days. When things are difficult or when stirrings of a life past-lived come back to rear its head, threatening the tenuous peace he’s found. 

There are times that he looks at you with eyes that aren’t as familiar. They’re darker, edged sharply, but it’s still him. A different facet shining in the light, but if you tilt your head, you can see the core of him that lies beneath. Still the same, no matter how he refracts it. As he comes and goes, it feels as if a new page turns each time - some new, some old. A wildness exists that seeps through, visible only when he holds you a little too tight, kisses you a little too hard. 

Unsteadiness is something he’s worn since the first day you’ve met him, and with the return of memories he’d lost, it doesn’t settle over him as often as it once had. Only when you notice the shift does he avoid your gaze, the sheepish little smile lifting the weight on your heart, and his in turn.

He’s trying. That’s enough, you think.

[medali-meltdown]

🌻Brassius headcanons🌻 (companion post to this one, now with added imagery (a single screenshot but so worth it))

-In his mid-40s but refuses to accept it, which manifests in ways such as: pulling all-nighters like a young student, skipping/forgetting meals, continuing to make an impression on gym challengers by leaping from the tops of windmills, roofs, whatever's convenient. Any of these habits could break his fragile body. Speaking of which...

-He started doing the wild leaps in school as a cool stunt and way to show off and be memorable, but he has a private reason also — it's his way of defying death and mocking his illness. By gods he's going to live and not only that, he's going to do it in the most avant-garde way.

-tbh I haven't pinpointed exactly what is his chronic illness. Asthma? Hey wouldn't it be ironic if he has a severe pollen allergy while loving and being surrounded by plant pokemon? (just like me fr) Also I'm still on the idea a friend told me of him describing his symptoms as thorny vines in his lungs (which could be his creative way of describing a common asthma attack, and of course he styles his hair in the same manner because he's just Like That).

-Nature and the turns of seasons are his religion. He dabbled in paganism in his younger days. Found the modern practices too commercialized, but keeps it in his heart, in private.†

-Super pretty when he was younger. Wore his hair long, and with it being so thick and wavy, it cascaded about his (fuller, more lively) face and slender neck, even when he had it pulled into a ponytail. Stormy grey eyes always in deep contemplation of Art. Elegant ways of moving and speaking, radiating beauty with every step and word... honey what happened.

-(Nothing, it's all still there if you know what to look for and Hassel sure does, he is an expert on beauty, after all!)

-Hassel 💗💗 What a long, complex history he has with Hassel. They were good friends as students long ago, both being in arts & music classes. Brassius looked up to the multi-talented Hass from day one, always inspired by him and his bravery. Of course he fell in love with his muse, but for one reason or another, they never could quite be together, at least for very long. It might take Hassel until the present to reconcile his feelings, but will it be too late? (please I have a whole fic I want to write about this, of course I love them being Extremely Married but consider this: 20 years' worth of Mutual Gay Pining and the angst what follows)

-Just like born musician Hassel has some art in him, natural artist Brassius has some form of musical talent. After all, he's the Verdant Virtuoso — a term that skews toward musicians. I like to think he's got a good singing voice.* Belts out tunes while he's in the Art Zone. In perfect Spanish Paldean because he's bilingual.

-Whenever the mood strikes him (rarely, anymore), this guy can get a little kinky. He may carry a rope to help him climb high for tall sculptures (I guess???), but it also comes in handy for tying up unruly dragons~

-He's had many more partners in the past than Hassel has, and therefore a lot of practice. Not so much these days, however. His art, gym, and health come first.

-The Surrendering Sunflora Story: it's easy to tell that Brassius, at the beginning of his art career, let his personal vision suffer because he was focused on being more of a content creator, gaming that algorithm in endless pursuit of fame, fans, and money. The stress got to him, making his illness flare up to near-fatal levels. Was there anything else stressing him out at the time? Was he battling debilitating depression as well? Because he was prepared to die from it all — whether or not his debut work succeeded. And then Hassel appeared. "It was then I met Hass." So they must have become friends a little later in their student lives? Out of nowhere comes Hassel to remind Brassius of the meaning of Art, and that saves his life. Where's that meme picture of the creature holding onto a wall and going i think i need a moment wait

-It's p much universally accepted that Brassius gave Hassel the Applin that would evolve into the latter's Flapple. I think Brassie did so after the Surrendering Sunflora exhibition was complete to express his feelings. Unfortunately, Hassel, not being from this part of the world and unfamiliar with nearby Galar's customs, thinks it's simply a friendly gesture of appreciation. Hang in there, Brassie ❤️‍🩹

-Maybe once Hass figures it out he'll give Brassius a Dipplin in return. "There are two bodies sharing one sweet home! It's more symbolic than the Applin, right? Surely they know this in Galar...?" "No, Hass, Dipplin's apple is only found in a region that's very far away, so it doesn't have that kind of meaning..." "🥺🥺😭 B-BUT IT'S USSSS"

†Meta: isn't the Pokemon world inherently pagan? I know we like to throw around the name of Arceus and/or Mew as though they are God, but... they're not really? Do not let me get theological on this post about my grass blorbo hfhfhsh

*Look, his deep, deep Japanese voice did things to me, and learning that seiyuu Nakai Kazuya voiced Mugen of all people (and some other guys I guess, Zoro if you go there) amuses me to no end hhhn

[goldrushenthusiast]

Analysis on Snow and Lucy Gray’s relationship, as requested by @mym00nagedaydr3am :).

They definitely loved each other, though their reasons for it may have been out of their control, and it wasn’t true love. That’s the best way I can put it.

Coriolanus Snow- he talked about how he had thought about his future wife before, and how nobody but Persephone the cannibal was really that appealing to him. In drops Lucy Gray. She immediately captured his -and everyone else’s- attention, and in the first thirty minutes of knowing him she saved his life and his reputation. That definitely leaves a mark.

Coriolanus is drawn to things that are unlike the ordinary. We know this because of how he reacts to Katniss and Peeta’s fire costume, and how he reacts to a bunch of their stunts in general. I’m not as huge a hunger game fan as bosas though, so I can’t speak much on that. But, I do know Coriolanus thought (rightfully) about how people from district 12 were “stunted, joint swollen, and always died within the first 5 minutes.” (the beginning of chapter 2). He was surprised by Lucy Gray because she was clean, she had makeup on, and she made an excellent first impression (saving his life & reputation).

This was only amplified further by the fact that Lucy Gray sat down with him, and stood up for herself by demanding he believe she could win it. Coriolanus didn’t see that coming. He fully believed that his tribute would be terrible, and the shock of her not being so gave Coriolanus a bit of a boost in falling in love. He expected the worst, got the best, and the room in the middle had to be filled with love.  

I’d mention how Coriolanus also sees Lucy Gray as his property, and how he’s been raised with that mindset, but tbh that whole “she’s mine, she belonged to me, blah blah blah” part of their relationship is just so weird and off-putting, though it does make sense for his character. Lucy Gray would not be having that though, lmao. 

Now, Lucy Gray- she had just gotten out of a bad relationship, and her ex having sentenced her nearly to death is a great way to move on quickly! 

Lucy Gray likes courage, and bravery. I can’t find any exact quotes at the moment, but Lucy Gray did thank Coriolanus for protecting her & the covey from Mayfair when he killed her at the hob even though it was hard for him. The act of even showing up to the station, how it was a test to see how willing he was, also proves this. 

Lucy Gray also values family, above all else. She tries to make goats milk for Maude Ivory to “bring a bit of happy into her life.” She says the only thing she would miss would be them when she left district 12. Coriolanus accepts her family, and her “crazy” stories about them not being really district fairly quickly. She definitely appreciated that.

Not going to lie, at the beginning, Lucy Gray probably was only flirting to intrigue Coriolanus. In chapter 25, she says “Sure, I flirt with anybody. It’s part of my job.” I believe she still has this mindset when she arrives at the capitol. She is used to living by her charms (and voice), and so that’s exactly what she does. Coriolanus actually treats her with respect, and as a person, opposed to the other inmates & their mentors, so he also leaves quite the good impression on her. 

Their relationship in district 12 takes a different turn, though. At the beginning, it’s fine. She is overjoyed to see him, and finds it very romantic. “You found me.” “You knew I would.” things like that get said to each other often in the beginning. But soon things change. They have the fight about their dads being killed by the other, which I believe is fundamental to their relationship. Lucy Gray thinks that capitol people are all terrible, and by the way Coriolanus jumps straight to defense tells her a lot about him. 

Of course, they make up (and out), and Lucy Gray is very appreciative of how Coriolanus treats Maude Ivory and his “clear” devotion to his friend. I’m quite sure Coriolanus’ relationship with Sejanus was actually quite a bonus point in their own, so when she realized that Coriolanus betrayed him, she realized he could betray her too. 

That’s another thing about Lucy Gray. Trust. She never had it with Billy Taupe, and she thought she had it with Coriolanus, but she actually didn’t. It’s very important to her, so when she realized he had lied to her, she couldn’t just move on from that. 

That’s another one of the most interesting aspects of both of them. How quickly they fell out of love, and towards hate and murder. When Lucy Gray realized that Coriolanus killed Sejanus, and that he’d have no qualms about staying in district 12 now that he got rid of the guns, she knew she had been betrayed. When Coriolanus realized Lucy Gray knew, he easily started shooting at her, albeit not before trying to at least talk. This goes to show how they were both raised. Coriolanus to fend for himself, Lucy Gray to think about what her relationships with everyone around her mean and represent. 

Coriolanus also says that he was “beginning to sympathize with Billy Taupe.” This clearly shows that the second that his relationship with her was over, that he could no longer benefit from it, he turned on her. He said “hell no!” and got out of there with a mind that only amplified what he now thought of her. Vicious, cutthroat, and manipulative, all things he also was. Coriolanus’ victim mindset is also very interesting tbh. 

In the end, I’m very sure Lucy Gray lived. She’s smarter than a lot of people give her credit for, especially Coriolanus (until the last few pages). They wouldn’t have worked out long term, due to their differences in what family meant, what the capitol meant, and just in general how different they were, but just them being together probably changed both their lives. Coriolanus’ for the better, Lucy Gray’s for the worst, which actually represents a lot of what happens in their other relationships (Snow lands on top, Lucy Gray is forgotten.) 

That just made me remember! Lucy Gray’s ballad! A stroke of GENIUS writing. How Lucy gray mysteriously vanishes in the blizzard, how her parents don’t realize how far she is gone until it is too late, how she leaves no trace except in the middle of a BRIDGE, because that’s what they were to each other. A bridge to the other’s life. I might have to make a separate post about this stupid ballad, but yeah. 

If you read this all THANK YOU!! It means a lot :). If not, I don’t blame you, this is probably my longest tumblr post so far lol. I just find this whole book so fascinating. 

[natty-taffy]

the handmaiden - [natasha x reader]

Interactive fanfiction

series masterlist

Summary: Having your memory read has backtracked on you, but at least you're seeing her once again

Previously, on this path: Chapter I.I.I.0

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTER I.I.I.0.II

When the first sight you have is not of Anastasia, and the room you’re currently in looks unrecognizable from everything you have ever seen before, there is absolutely no doubt left in you that you have failed to run away and have been kidnapped. 

Instead of your beloved princess, the red-headed woman- who also sits mere inches away from your head, mind you- doesn’t answer you and looks at you with nothing but fear in her eyes. She doesn’t look dangerous at all, there is nothing in her stance that can help you understand what her role is here. This sets a thousand danger bells screeching in your mind- something is not right.

You need to find Anastasia and get the hell out of here- even if it means fighting this woman with your scarce fight skills- you had been somewhat trained to be able to achieve the title of a Romanov’s handmaiden, but never to free yourself out of a possible kidnapping.

Nevertheless, your first instinct is to back your body against the front of hers and, with the stumble of her unexpected momentum, wrap your hands around her right arm, easily tackling her body away from the bed you were both set in- aiming for the floor. You frown in slight surprise and relief- you had no idea you were this strong, although she has a very petite figure.

“[Y/N]!” She gasps unexpectedly- her voice sounds raspier than you had expected and you are not shocked to learn she knows your name.

You, however, could not have ever been prepared for what happened next- against every single law of physics (because, yes, Anastasia has taught you about them), she does not hit the ground. Instead, the red-head manages to tumble mid-air , amidst some sort of scarlet mist, that neither touches her nor the ground, but manages to keep her from finding it.

“What the fuck-” You trail off as your legs independently move as far away from her as possible- trying to make you one with the gray wall your back was pushed against. 

Could it be possible that you have died and this is the devil? Have your kiss with Anastasia dragged you forever away from her, in a place with this woman, who, apparently, bears the powers of evilness? Is this the holy punishment for betraying the trust of the Holy Majesties by kissing their daughter’s cherry-red lips?

Surprisingly, she doesn’t look revengeful nor angry, instead, maybe, even a little relieved at your behavior- which makes you even more uneasier than before- are you being tested? Is she accessing you?

With the boldness and bravery that you don’t actually have, you demand, once more, an answer “Who are you, where am I, and where is Anastasia?”

Her eyes- tempestuous, troubled, remorseful-, betray her calm exterior and shy smile, you still pretend to try to understand what part of her is truthful to her intentions, though you already know very well. 

“I won’t hurt you, [Y/N]” Her voice is steady- strangely it shadows you as a source of comfort, you fight away from it “My name is Wanda, you are safe, and so is she”

You don’t believe in her for one second, her eyes have betrayed her words, in every way, they could. With a small breath intake, you try once more, not allowing her to run from your words once more “Take me to her”

Resigned, but not necessarily surprised, Wanda sighs at you and shows a small smile filled with regret “I can’t do that- at least not right now”

Although you should give her the benefit of the doubt, since there are all types of signs coming off from her- from the best to the worst-, you don’t waste another second before throwing a heavy fist in her direction. She knows where Anastasia is and, for some reason, is withholding the information- who knows what could have happened to her?

Wanda, you find out, has impressively fast reflexes, as she effortlessly dodges your punch and immediately gets up from the bed, putting some space between the two of you. She holds her hands slightly up, gesturing a truce “[Y/N], stop! I don’t want to hurt you”

You don’t try to hit her anymore, but none of you can step out of your defensive positions, you scowl at her- she won’t hurt you, but she won’t help you either “Stop being condescending” 

When she rolls her eyes- because you can be such a pain in the ass whenever you don’t get what you want-, you lunge at her once more, you’re not the fittest person to be so sure of winning a fight to the point of trying to provoke it, but for the love of your life- to know she is safe and sound-, there are very few things you wouldn’t do. 

Plus, Wanda doesn’t look like the strongest opponent ever, you have learned to fight with guards three times bigger than her.

When a blast of something hitting the opposite corner of the room that you’re in, sizzles right past you- grazing lightly on your elbow, powerful enough to burn, but quick enough to last less than a blink of an eye. In both fear and surprise, you stumble over your own feet, ungracefully falling down to the ground in fear- what the fuck was that?

Your fearful eyes graze upon her and she looks as apologetic as ever, but the small glint in her eyes has yet to fade “I told you to fucking stop ” She berates you in a way that almost makes you coil in shame- once more, she doesn’t seem to be truly meaning to hurt, her voice screams at the same way it soothes you “If you’d listen to me-”

Her small speech is cut shortly by a bang on the door- both of you turn your heads to the sound, as two deers would, in fear.

“Wanda?”A male voice booms worriedly through the other side of the door, you take a small step back, unaware of what the presence of other people would mean- could you get in even more trouble?

Wanda is no better than you, frozen on the spot, she tried to hurriedly come up with an idea that could send Steve away, knowing very well that if he was here, it wouldn’t be long until Natasha arrived, as well, and that would be-

His voice asks her one more time, she can almost feel his worried gaze upon her “What’s going on over there?”

As to not arouse any suspicions, Wanda immediately answers him with a half-truth, given that he surely heard your voice from your small outburst not long ago “[Y/N] and I are just training-”

“Wanda, open the door” And, because the smallest mention of your name was enough to conjure Natasha from wherever she is, the woman’s voice demands it.

The witch sees the exact second in which your eyes flutter with recognition and relief at Natasha’s presence so, in an act of desperation, before you can utter a word, she mutes your voice- it’s painless, but the scared look you send her after your mouth can no longer produce a sound sends a thunderbolt of pain through her entire body.

“We’ll be out in a sec!” She concedes, allowing herself to conceal her emotions for a moment before coming clean and everything starts crumbling down, as it’s bound to.

You still don’t understand anything, so when the woman slowly walks to the door- suddenly so small and scared that she is almost invisible-, you frown in even more confusion, is she really going to open it? Are you really going to see Natty? Does that mean you can trust her?

Anastasia steps into the room quickly and urgently, as if she owns it- she has always had the posture of owning whichever room she steps into. Although, you frown slightly- still not gathering enough courage to move from the corner of the room you had thrown yourself into-, she looks so different .

Undeniably beautiful, as she will ever be, but also undeniably older and somehow harsher- her beautiful eyes hold so much they never carried before, her mouth is set into a thin line sharper than the one she would wear in royal duties, there is a small crinkle in between her eyebrows that didn’t exist before. All in all, she looks breathtakingly exhausted and you don’t know whether to worry or fawn over her- maybe you can do both at the same time while trying to figure out for how long you have been in here or why her clothes look like this .

(You will, also, not deny that black looks absurdly beautiful on her)

At the confusion and fear plastered on your face, as well as with the clear mess of Wanda’s room- courtesy of both of you-, Natasha feels her instincts kicking in high, you aren’t your usual self, the two times she has seen you looking this scared were when you first arrived and when she last saw you until then. Something has definitely happened.

 “What happened?” She asks in immediate high alert, trying- but failing- to not threaten anyone without knowing what went on.

Steve and a surprisingly stern-looking Tony enter the room right in her tow, taking in the details of a small fight, the way you seem to try to merge yourself into the wall, and the terribly guilty look that Wanda carries. Not sure how to address the situation, they choose the easiest path, and leave it to Natasha to gather the answers.

You almost open your mouth- you want to tell her everything, to urge her to start running with you, to ask her what has happened, if she is okay- or, at least, be able to run until your body collides with her once more. But the fear of being Wanda’s target again makes you keep your mouth shut- you had no voice, anyway.

“Wanda?” Natasha impatiently asks her when none of you provides an answer.

Under the pressure of Natasha’s scrutinizing eyes, Wanda burns and breaks into small tears- her voice, frail as the breeze, arrives in tides to her lips “Nat, I am so sorry, I just wanted to-”

At the moment that an apology left Wanda’s lips, Natasha stepped closer to her- not entirely to threaten her, but to also move her anxiety away from her body- something had happened to you and Wanda was the one to do it.

Natasha focuses her attention on you, who seem to be indecisive over being comfortable or irked over it- she chooses to not get closer to you, then, but how she wishes to at least be able to make sure you are okay. 

“What did you do?” Her voice, now, sounds so distressed that Tony sends a prying look to Wanda so she can hurry up and start talking.

“She asked me to take a look at her mind, see if I could find any memory- I know I shouldn’t have, but she is my best friend, it was killing me to see her so distraught” At the moment that Wanda starts spilling her words everywhere- unfiltered and filled with her accent, two very important things happen.

Natasha looks feral and feels even worse- as if she has been struck by lightning and she can feel the shock traveling alongside her body, sending every nerve of her body into a state of indescribable pain. Because she did not have the right to do this to you, but, mostly, because this has absolutely backfired for you and she is not sure she wants to know how.

You intently drink from her every word, trying to gather every information that is thrown at you and solve the puzzle with shapes you are not familiar with.

Steve almost steps out of the room, knowing that this isn’t of interest to either him or Tony, but that it also surely will mess with the atmosphere and dynamic of the entire team, so he backs himself to the doorframe as to intrude them a little bit less. Tony, on the other hand, would happily stay for the drama of the gossip- he even had one or five words to squeak out to the women-, if it wasn’t for Captain America quietly dragging him off the room altogether.

Wanda keeps talking, because, right now, that is the only thing she can do to stop herself from fainting “She- I had no intentions to seek as deep, I wasn’t going to seek anything, at all- but you appeared and things started to happen and her mind was playing it non-stop like a movie, and all I wished to do was to see everything I could, so I could tell her the most and help her gain at least some sense of what she had lived, of how you are connected. But, I think now- she doesn’t have any memories besides, um, of your past together”

Natasha is so consumed by rage that she barely allows herself to listen to Wanda’s motives, all she can do is speak- with the calmness of the last second before the first tsunami wave-, in words as shaky as her own body is “I cannot believe you” 

You feel almost sedated, there is no way any of what she says happened- half of her phrases didn’t even make any sense, but there is no way Anastasia would be this engulfed in anger if they weren’t true. Deep breaths are easier to take, now that you can suddenly feel your vocal cords being unclipped- though you don’t dare to make a noise to check if your voice is truly back, you feel a little less anxious.

And Wanda wishes she would have kept her mouth shut, because she isn’t being yelled at, but it’s way worse, because she can feel the disappointment under Natasha’s gaze and in the weight of her words “Wanda, you promised me- all of us - that you would never mess with mind control anymore, look at what you’ve done!”

She knows is a low blow, she knows Wanda didn’t do mind control, and that you sure begged her enough for her to make her mind up, but Natasha couldn’t care less, because, right now, all she can see is another person meddling with your life, another person putting you in danger. All she sees is everything she has ever done to keep you safe and have a chance to live a life unfollowed by grief, slipping between her fingers.

Steve decides to step in, before the woman makes things worse- he is not entirely sure of how you and she were connected, but one doesn’t have to be a genius to figure out that her entire demeanor towards you came from the one feeling she doesn’t know to tame. “Nat, I think-”

“You don’t , Steve” Arrives an immediate answer, followed by her preying eyes hunting his face down “There’s nothing for you to think- none of this is of your concern” 

“It is of mine” Worried and, honestly, a little scared of Anastasia’s anger, your voice decides to make itself known before you can think about it.

The entire room stares at you and you wonder if you could just, maybe, coil your body into itself until you disappear. But very familiar green eyes, once poisoned by ire, are, little by little, unburying themselves from the fog, turning into the shining, loving, caring eyes you have always known, dreamt about, and loved.

“Detka ” She whispers, and her voice sounds pure and crystalline once again- you only allow yourself to cry because she already is, and you don’t think there is more room in your body for the emotions she builds into you to spread.

Wanda bites her small smile down when she sees the effect you have clearly always had over her, when Natasha has finally been caught off guard- although she is still quite disappointed with herself, she feels a little bit proud, a little bit happy, with being the responsible of making your souls meet once again.

You decide to bite the bullet, since the room seems to drink from your every movement, much like Wanda, you simply spill the words that want to jump from your tongue. Stepping closer to Natty, you still wear your frown under caring eyes.

“I don’t really understand- the last time I saw you, your hair was down here” You circle her waist with a finger- you don’t touch her, but the ghost of your fingers is enough to lift a thousand pounds from Natasha’s chest “You wore lightness on your pace, life in your eyes and the sweet tones of youth on your voice” Your voice, unsure and confused, is enough to push Natasha deep into the floor once again “But I’m also not dumb” 

At that, both Wanda and Natasha frown, not really understanding where you are getting into, but both praying that it brushed along forgiveness- the former praying for you to understand her intentions, and the latter praying for you to forgive the person she has become, who is so different from the one you knew, since you have so quickly seen through her changes.

Unbeknownst to both, these are things you haven’t given much thought to, not bothering to hold them accountable for things they have done out of love and care for you.

“She” You point at Wanda- not the devil, but, apparently, your best friend “Tried to help me out of some suffering- that, I can only assume has caused some sort of amneziya. But none of this is her fault, she is maybe only collateral damage, because you know how I get when I set my mind to something” You tell Anastasia, because you two are not that different when it comes to stubbornness.

She takes a deep breath- her mouth is smiling without her even realizing, too happy being in your presence to care about much else-, however, because she still has a point to make, Natasha relents, now a bit more serious “Yes, but, dove, she is way too powerful” Your eyes are locked into each other, you can feel the seriousness when she tells you “You are lucky she has only erased your recent memory”

You still don’t understand what is it that she does, nor how she has come to do such things, but there are many more things to be focused on, right now. Like the fact that you are, apparently, in the future, that you once knew the people surrounding you and that, at least now, your soul can rest, having reencountered Anastasia once again. And you have Wanda to thank for this.

Now, having calmed down- at least enough for your lungs to breathe on their own-, you steer away from the wall and step closer to the woman, watching how her defenses crumble at the lessening of the distance. You really do love her, you hope you can, one day, understand what has turned her into someone else- until then, all there is left for you to do is to love her enough to heal the unknown, because she is still your Natty, even if to everyone else she is, apparently, Natasha.

When you arrive at her feet, you trembly take her hand, relishing in how the feeling of being home is still the same, even if her calloused hand has nothing to do with the one you were used “There is not a foreseeable future in which I would change your love, your beautiful eyes and breathtaking smile, for anything else- if I was miserable enough to ask Wanda to do something this dangerous it’s because I knew I had to. I would rather forget everything about myself than go back to a time in which I have forgotten about you” You squeeze her hand, emphasizing your every word “Don’t you understand it?”

You don’t hear an answer, instead, you feel her soft lips against yours- no, not really, you feel them dancing with yours-, she still smells like jasmine and tastes like plumes, and the universe seems to fall into place. You feel like your entire life has led you to this exact moment, every single breath taken was meticulously framed by the universe to end up in her arms, that’s just the way it is.

Anastasia smiles over your lips- you feel like you’ve reached heaven-, and says in one breath the words you have never thought you would hear “I love you, [Y/N]”

Your own smile freezes, and you have to take a step back to ground yourself back to Earth- is it really possible that she could feel as much for you as you feel for her? “You- you do ?” 

You suddenly feel very dumb, because, with the way that her eyes gaze upon you there is no feeling that could possibly bloom in her chest but pure, undiluted love, admiration, and blissfully infatuation.

“You can’t even begin to understand how much” The words escape through her smile and you can’t help but smile back at her.

“You underestimate me, Romanov” A small smirk appears on your lips “I knew I loved you without even knowing who you were” 

Natasha chuckles and nods at you, giving you the last word, this time, because she is too overwhelmed with happiness to think about anything else. It’s only when your smiles slowly die down, solely because your cheeks can’t handle much more, that you remember you were very much so not alone.

You quickly sweep the room with your eyes, finding only Wanda here, now- probably the other two guys have given you some privacy-, whose eyes shine with happiness at the sight of the two of you, and you suddenly remember the very starting point of your kiss. You take a step back, not without pecking the tip of her nose, and smile at Natty once more “Don’t get mad at Wanda” 

Natasha, now calmer, more rational, and more careful with her words, sends what could be a shy look to the woman- she knows she has overstepped, but Wanda has, too, although in different intensities.

“I am upset- she broke a very important promise” She tells you, but you know she is indirectly telling Wanda, as well “Even though it came from a good place”

You nod at her, happy to know that there is a lot of your Anastasia in Natasha, and turns to Wanda, who still bears unsure eyes “Her forgiveness is slow, but truthful” You smile at her, trying to ease her unsettledness “You two will be fine” 

Before any of the women could say anything more- and Natasha had a few good words to let the witch know that she is not as lenient with people as she is with you, Tony steps into the room once more, bringing on his toes a very annoyed Steve, who had done everything to keep the man out of the room- to no avail.

“I haven’t got a clue about the underlines- by the way, hello once more, [Y/N], I’m Tony Stark, the owner of the building and your best friend” The eccentric man approaches you- you don’t think you have ever seen someone so… like this, but you are instantly drawn to him, you don’t know about being his best friend, but you have the feeling that his intentions are good “But this is absurd, we need to get her memory back”

At that, all sets of eyes focus on him, because this is the million-dollar question that only Wanda, ready to make it right for the three of you, has the voice to ask “And what do you suggest?”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Final paths coming soon!

[fangirlstorycreator]

CK Terry Silver X Reader

Context: first you were enemies....but now he was about to be your lover...😏 Final part 💚

Warning: Contains sexual content, female and male oral receiving, dirty talk, sexual intercourse (not for minors)!

You were stunned, you had not imagined being in this position right now, with Terry Silver standing outside your hotel door. What the hell was he doing hear? "It's a pleasure to see you again Y/N" "Is it?" You ask in a sarcastic tone, this just made Terry smile as he can see the look on your face. "I think we need to talk...may I?" He asks politely, moving his hand up to your room, hoping to be allowed in. You look him up and down, still a little unsure, but you know he can't outsmart you, or take you in a fight.

You stand aside, letting him walk in just before you close the door behind him. He walks into the room a little more, admiring it. "This is a lovely room you have, it's very similar to my own I have hear. I have a permanent place in my name hear, as I've been a loyal customer to this hotel for a long time" "So you were the one who sent the glass of champagne over to my table this evening?" You ask with a raised eyebrow and your arms folded. "That's right, very clever of you. I must ask though, why didn't you drink it? It was a nice gesture" "Being a woman, you always have to be careful with drinks that you didn't order yourself. I didn't know who sent it to me, so I don't trust it. Nice gesture or not"

Terry nodded in agreement, it seemed he didn't think of it in that way, and he understood where you were coming from. He turned away from you, held his hands behind his back and walked over to the large window, admiring the view. "You know Y/N....I was suprised when I saw you entering this hotel. Pleasantly I might add" "Why?" "He turns to look at you. "Why? Because I admire you Y/N" "Admire me? Yeh right" "I'm being honest, since meeting you I....I have admired you. Your cunning, your bravery, the way you spoke to me that day we first met. I was more than impressed" "You might have wanted to tell your face that at the time. You looked more like a deer caught in headlights" He smirks "While I was shocked at how clever you were to outwit me, it was something noone else had done before. Of course I was going to be impressed" "What about Chozen? He tried to trick you" "Tried and failed. He loved to make me think he was someone of importance, someone worth the time. But you didn't....you were just you. No lies, just being yourself had won me over" "Won you over? Are you being serious right now?! I threatened you, attacked your business partner and your won over by me?!" "Sensei Kim is no longer my business partner, she was just as toxic in that dojo as I was" "Was? Come on, you can't seriously expect me to believe your all nice now?" "I don't want you to believe anything other than the truth. Yes, everything I've done is cruel....I'll never forgive myself for that" "You don't deserve any forgiveness. You allowed Tory to break her own hand! Your sick!" "I wish I could turn back the clock and change what I did-" "B#llsh#t! You wish you could turn back the clock and not get caught!"

Terry's smile faded for a moment, seeing the fierceness in your eyes. But he started walking a little closer, smirking and playing with his hand.

"So? Your on your way home I'm guessing?" "And your not. I've seen that you've shut down the dojo, that doesn't suprise me that much. But why leave entirely? Did I frighten you that much?" He chuckled. "You didn't frighten me Y/N...but you did make me realise what I'm supposed to do. I was brought back to Cobra Kai through an old friend, John kreese. But he was only using me to make Cobra Kai great again. He made that mistake to misplace my trust, and he paid the price. If it wasn't for him, I would have still been back in my life I had made for myself. And I realise that I've missed that, the calm, no stress. So that's what I'm going to do, I'm going back. I have all the money I could wish for, so selling the house I was using in LA when John brought me back is as easy as snapping my fingers. And I will go back to my beach house where I lived before, I've always loved the beach. It's actualy where I lived with my ex partner Cheyenne, until that ended." "I don't think I remember asking for your personal life Silver" you say again sarcastically, Terry can tell he's annoying you. But that's not the reaction he wants from you.

"I really get under your skin dont I?" "Can you blame me? Look at everything you've done" "So....why haven't you kicked me out of the door?.....is there a part of you that wants me to stay?" He asks with a slightly deeper toned voice...is he trying to sound better? "I haven't kicked you out yet because I was nice enough to give you a chance to explain yourself. Trust me when I say there is NO part of me that wants you to stay. You can leave now" There's that smile again, it's really winding you up now.

"Are you sure about that?" "Yes" "Hmm? You know....I did have a proposition for you" "I don't care about anything you want to offer me" "Don't be too quick to answer Y/N. Listen....there were more things I was thinking the very first time I met you....like....your stunning dress..." "What?" "Your dress...hugging that beautifully shaped body of yours" "Alright, get out" "The way it showed your perfect curves, excensuated your-" "I said get out!" "Why?....Do you not like me telling you how beautiful you are?" "I don't care" "Come on Y/N, just think about it for a minute...neither of us are going to see eachother again, and it would only be for one night....one time..." Was he really suggesting this?! You slapped yourself for thinking he was attractive before, but you had no idea it was the other way around. Is he seriously suggesting that we have a one night stand? He's crazy!.....he's....he's crazy.... "I can promise that you'll have the time of your life Y/N, a beautiful woman like you deserves to be worshiped....devoted too.....I would make you scream my name so loud your lungs would burn-" "Terry! I've heard enough of this! Leave now! Before I make you!"

"Why are your cheeks burning Y/N? And why are your legs ever so slightly crossing? You love this don't you?" You tried so hard to hide it, but your body was screaming out for physical touch. He even noticed you crossing your legs a little because of the heat you felt, his smooth seductive words, his presence made you feel so wet. You couldn't do this, you SHOULDN'T do this. "I mean it Terry, leave!" "Noone would know, just you...and me...."

"I mean it! I'll make you leave if I have to!" "......I could leave you breathless....ripping the bed sheets with your hands...." You knew if he kept teasing you with these words, you'd fall for it. You couldn't! You reach out your arms and push him back.

"Ooooh! That's it Y/N! I've wanted to see this fire within you for so long!" You spin to do a high kick, making him plummet to the floor. But he jumps right back up, and sauntered back over to you once more, with that smile again! You strike, again and again, he blocks a few but he still isn't a match for you. It's all a quick blur, but the last kick you try to land, he grabs it with his hand and causes you to nearly fall. But he reaches his hands for both your wrists and pins them up above your head as he presses himself against your body. Your pinned between Terry and the wall, he is so close you can feel his breath and smell his scent. He smelled like peppermint....why was that so intoxicating? He stared right into your eyes, his lips mere inches away from yours, the electricity between you both was immense. "You know as well as me you had the strength and skill to take me down....and yet I have you like this.....you could have prevented this...but you didn't.....just let go Y/N....let your body take what it needs...what it craves....let me make you mine for tonight....just this one night....." Your mind was fighting with itself, you needed to say no, but wanted to say yes. In the end, your body spoke for you....You let out a breath and crash your lips into his, hungry and desperate to taste him. He kisses you back with as much desperation, tasting your tounge as your both getting lost in eachother.

Terry's hands move away from your wrists as they slide down the wall and hold your waist, pressing his groin against you. You could feel how hard he already was, but it seemed like he wasn't quite there yet. You let loose, and just loose yourself in this moment. Not caring about what others would say, or what will happen tomorow, just enjoying the now. One of your hands reaches to the back of his neck and pulls him in closer, while your other hand rips the top of his shirt open, revealing his strong and broad chest beneath. His skin was warm to the touch as your hand ran down the exposed skin, you needed more. Terry pulled away for a mere moment, before falling to his knees infront of you, leaning in and biting at the top of your jeans with a seductive growl. He was so hungry for you, and nothing was going to stop him now. He pulled your jeans and underwear down your legs and away from you, looking up at you with a desperate need. "I need to taste you...." Without a second though, he buried his face inbetween your legs and started licking and devouring you like you were his last meal. You gasped as the sensation, it was like you were on fire!

It felt too good, he had only just started touching you and you thought you were going to reach your release so soon. "Uh f#ck" you manage to breath out as Terry makes your body feel amazing. He moves your legs apart and puts one of your thighs over his shoulder, pressing his hand against your stomach. Somehow this just makes him go harder, go stronger. Your breath quickens, moans escapes your mouth as your getting closer and closer, it was too much. You needed desperately to hold onto something as you feel it coming, and the wall wasn't enough. You reach down and tangle your fingers into Terry's white locks, clenching your hand into a fist, right before- "HUH! Oh f#ck!" You continue to moan as he devours you through your orgasm, making your body shake against his grip. Thank god he was supporting you, or else your body would have given up and collapsed, even the shaking was making you feel weak at the knees. He resurfaced and stood infront of you once he could sence your body couldn't take anymore, that's where he starts kissing you again, and now it was your turn. Your hands move down his ripped shirt and down to his belt buckle, unbuckling it within seconds. His trousers fall to the ground and his boxers are left, and now his throbbing c#ck was even bigger. Pulling them down, your hand grabbed his c#ck and started stroking, causing Terry to moan into your mouth, but he was quite large, and you needed to use both hands to hold him completely. He needed more...his hand reached up and delicately wrapped around your throat, pulling you away from his lips to look into your eyes, fire was burning in his stare. "Get on your knees sweetheart...."

You smirk as he leads you down onto your knees with his hand arpund your throat, now you were knelt between his c#ck and the wall. Was he too big to fit in your mouth? Terry's hand strokes under your chin before he looked down and whispered "Be a good girl and open your mouth for me...." Doing as you were told, this just made you wetter before he grabbed his c#ck with his other hand and slid the tip into your mouth, were you sucked and licked around his most sensitive area. Terry groaned, breathing heavily as you suck him. "Uhhhh....I think you need a little more sweetheart...." He starts thrusting deeper and deeper into your mouth, each time a little more, it's so f#cking hot! He hits the back of your throat before you quickly pop it out and say. "It's to big" "Did I say take me out of your mouth?" He stuffs his cock back into your mouth just before you were going to say something, he had completely stuffed your mouth now. "Ahhh that's it.....you'll take everything I'll give you....you take it like a good girl...." When you tried to move your face to the side to take a breath, both his hands hold your face in place, stopping you moving before he shoved it back in, now he had your head pressed against the wall as he trusted in and out of your mouth, you couldn't do anything but let him f#ck your mouth, but holy shit this was so close to making you cum again, you were loving it.

"Oh god your mouth feels so good sweetheart! But I know what will feel better" He pulls out and your finaly able to take a proper breath as he helps you up off the floor. His mouth is hot on you again, slipping his tounge into your mouth as he picks you up and wraps your legs around his waist. He pins you against the wall once more, this time is was going to be a big one. One of his hands reaches for his c#ck, and he slides it over your entrance, making you shudder in his hold...right before he slid inside you. You gasp! This was definitely the biggest c#ck you had ever had, holy shit this felt good. He held your hips as he starts pounding into you, slamming you against the wall as he f#cks you mercilessly. Over and over again he hits your sweet spot, making you wince and moan in pleasure, for an older man, he certainly knew what he was doing. Again and again, f#cking you harder and harder, both of you grunting and moaning with each thrust. He thrusts one last time before you scream against the wall, and scratch Terry's back, just for the dire need to hold or grip onto something. Your breathing was quick, sweat forming on your brow, but it seemed Terry wasn't finished yet.

He still looked at you with that hunger in his eye, which is why he held you and moved away from the wall, and threw you onto the bed. He climbs on top of you and grips your thigh as you wrap then around his waist, pulling him in closer to you. Once again his mouth is hot and heavy against yours, your hand entangled in his hair and holding onto his muscular shoulder before he slides back inside you again. This time you moan into his mouth, and it just spirs him on, f#cking you hard against the bed, over and over again while also using a grinding motion. You hold him close to your body as you feel yet another orgasm rising, this was going to be the big one. And now Terry was finaly reaching his too, you were both so close. He growls into your ear, making you even more turned on, so you bite into his shoulder seductively, he absolutely loves it as he smirks against your neck. You could feel it coming, you were so close now, that's when Terry gets on his knees, holds your legs against his chest and keeps them there, before he starts pounding into you relentlessly, making you finaly reach the most incredibly, leg shaking orgasm you had ever had before. You had tears coming out your eyes as the full body feeling engulfed you, making you scream at the top of your lungs, which just made Terry go even more. And just a few thrusts later, Terry is now shaking himself, grunting and gasping as he reaches his own orgasm. He shouts out in pleasure as he feels wave after wave for deep s#xual pleasure. Once you can't take anymore, he stops thrusting, and your both able to catch your breath. You feel exhausted, but in the best way possible, noone has ever rocked your world in bed like that. Terry smiled down at you, seeing you look so satisfied.

"That....was better than I had ever imagined....imagination is nothing compared to the real thing....god your beautiful" All you could to was smile back up at him, but why was his smirk back? "You look confused sweetheart? Oh...you don't think this was it do you? Oh ho ho....there is soooo much more.....the things I'm going to do to you.....I'm going to make you scream these walls down....all night long.....

Terry wasn't lying....and you both continued to have s#x for hours after that, going again and again, and again. By the time you woke up from your alarm the next morning, you could barley walk, but in a good way. You sneak into the shower and get nice and clean before going back in the room and packing your things, just as Terry wakes up in your bed. "Good morning my beautiful temptress" "Yeh, hi Terry. Look I've got to go, you need to leave now" "Aww so quick to leave? You didn't want to leave the bed last night" "That was last night Terry, just a one night thing. It was nothing, just an accidental shag" "6 accidental shags actually" "Whatever it was, it was one night, no attachments, that's all" "Oh really? So your not tempted to just come back to bed? Just for a few minutes?" He asks as he runs his hand over his exposed thigh, the only thing covered by the bed sheet is his c#ck. "Terry, you and I both know it will last more than a few minutes" He chuckles, he loved to take his time. "Look, this shouldn't have happened Terry" "But it did...." "Yes...look, you need to leave, and I need to catch my train" He smiles and climbs out of bed, quickly putting his clothes back on before approaching you. "You know you loved what happened last night Y/N, because I loved it too. I have never met a woman as gorgeous as you, or with half your stamina" He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a business card, handing it to you while still letting his fingers slightly touch yours.

"Last night, was the best s#x of my life...and I know you felt something electric between us too. If you want another round....give me a call sometime"

You just look at him with no facial expression, just look towards the door and point, and despite that, Terry still smiles. He leaves your hotel room and now you are on your own, left to gather your thoughts and get back to packing. An hour later your sat in the train station waiting for your train, twiddling your thumbs as the memories of last night flash before your eyes. That was the best s#x you had ever had, and yet you hated this man...is this was people call (hate f#cking?) An announcement called out saying your train was about to arrive, so you stand and hold your bags, when the card Terry gave you fell out. You reach down and pick it up, looking at it and contemplating weather you should put it in the bin right next to you, or keep it? The train arrives and you along with the rest of the people clamber on and take your seats. It was a window seat you take, and as the train leaves and it drives through the country side, you look out of the window and enjoy the scenery......just as you put your handbag next to you, with something inside next to your purse....Terry's business card.....

[dreaminggirlsblog]

Heyo! So i was wonderinv could you do a fluffy oneshot for raph x a chubby s/o who needs constant reassurance due to them believing raph deserves better

Raph X Fem!Reader - You’re perfect for me

It was almost a year since the arrival of that strange Kraang spaceship, which had caused chaos in New York City.

The turtles, the four siblings who live in the sewers, were recognised by the police for their bravery that day and, among the troop of cops, was Y/n.

At first, she was shocked to see that four turtles could have become big mutants and could talk, she practically couldn't believe it.

But when she met his gaze, her first impressions of them completely changed.

Red Bandana, a name given by her as she could not remember his real name, was attractive to her eyes and she almost liked staring at the turtle's green eyes.

"Y/n?" the girl turned, letting go of those green eyes, and finding herself in front of the journalist April O'Neil and her friend and colleague at work Casey Jones.

"April, it's been a long time!"

The two hugged each other as the boy behind them looked around as if he was embarrassed by the scene.

They'd known each other since they were kids but had lost each other after Y/n joined the NYPD and it had been a long time since they'd seen each other, even though the previous incident at the Kraang ship.

As soon as they pulled away, Y/n nodded towards Casey in greeting.

"Jones."

He sighed, giving a small chuckle and imitating the girl's gesture.

"Y/l/n, you look very pretty today you know?" he added in a mocking tone.

Casey always teased y/h/c but once he went too far by making a little joke about her weight, which was unforgivable for her.

They didn't speak for months but it was he who wanted to break this silence with a simple chat.

"I never wanted to be so brutal to you, I was angry and I swear I didn't know what I was saying or doing, I even insulted a child playing in the park on my way home."

They both laughed after a few minutes of silence, and Y/n replied, "Why?"

"I have no idea! All I know is that the mother keeps giving me bad looks every time I passed by."

In the end, everything was resolved and they became friends again as before, continuing to tease each other.

The problem though for Casey, was that he was in love with Y/n but he knew he would be rejected and now, that he sees the way she looks at that stupid mutant (as he would call it), he knows he has no hope of being with her.

He would like to move on, though, and having found April might help him get over his crush on the y/h/c.

Back to our point, the girl replied, in the same wry tone as the boy, "You know I could say the same thing about you today," and added a wink.

"Nice, it seems to me that you have been eyeing someone to say these things to without using that ironic tone."

He pointed with his gaze to precisely one of the four turtles, more specifically the one in the red band.

"What?" she asked, shaking her head repeatedly, "No, I don't like it."

"No one ever said you like it," retorted April winking at her.

The girl frowned at her, and at that same moment she saw a tall, mighty shadow approaching her.

"Officer," said her deep voice.

Y/n was paralyzed, but not by fear of the creature but more by the terror of coming across as strange because she talks too much or says nonsense.

He nodded his hand as a greeting and smiled as Casey and April stood still to see what was happening.

"I am Raphael," he extended his paw in anticipation of a handshake.

Y/n did not hesitate, he shook it and moved his hands up and down.

"Nice to meet you Y/n" he said quickly in a light voice and received a half smile.

Their hands still remained united, and the turtle turned them around, resting his lips on the girl's hand, like a gentleman.

" Enchanted."

Before long, she broke away and walked back to her brothers and shouted toward the three, "See you Y/n!"

This one remained motionless, always waving at the turtle's hand and remaining half-open-mouthed in amazement.

"He's not Raphael, he's too gallant," April suddenly pointed out, awakening y/h/c's trans state.

Hence began their friendship.

They would meet every night on the roof of her apartment, sometimes for dinner and most afterwards so they could simply talk or admire the starry sky.

After three/four months of getting to know each other, Y/n's feelings grew and Raph's blossomed but he wanted to tell her, at all costs.

"You need to relax, she doesn't seem like a girl who rejects so easily."

"Mikey!" scolded Donnie, giving him a not-so-light smack on the head.

"What Michelangelo was trying to say" the Leonardo leader intervened, throwing the smaller man a dirty look "is that it will be fine, she really likes you trust me"

"And how do you know that? I don't think you are human, she is a girl, she has y/e/c eyes, y/h/c hair or she calls you Y/n Y/l/n!"

"You just trust! Now go!"

He almost wanted to punch him in the face because of the way he answered him but at the moment his brother was the last thing on his mind.

He rushed out of the sewers and jumped from rooftop to rooftop to that of her apartment, not finding her at home.

In fact, she was still at work even though she had finished her shift, only she was struggling with a Casey who was mad about his crush on April.

"How do I tell her if she doesn't want me?"

"You don't tell her."

"But I want to tell her."

"Then do it!"

"But I can't, what if she says no?"

"Look, you've been asking me the same question for about an hour and you keep walking back and forth without ever stopping. Can you explain what I'm for?"

"You are supposed to support me! I asked you for help on purpose!" he replied as he sat down in front of her at his desk.

She sighed tiredly and added, "Okay, fine," she stood up abruptly, adjusting her desk chair and looking at Casey.

"So, now I'm April," began the y/h/c.

"Would you like that" murmured Casey thinking no one heard him but he got a dirty look from the girl.

"I was saying, now I’m April going into the restaurant where you're meeting, what do you do?"

"Shall I say goodbye?"

Y/n sighed slightly, still agreeing with his friend "Yes, go"

This one remained silent, smiling slightly in embarrassment and remaining with his mouth half open as he stared at everything but the girl in front of him.

"Casey?" the y/h/c called him, moving a hand in front of his eyes.

He continued not moving and then the girl turned around following her friend's gaze and then standing there with her mouth open as well.

In front of them stood April in a red, tight, knee-length dress, not too high heels of the same colour and a light flesh-coloured lipstick.

Her wavy hair fell over her shoulders and round silver earrings were visible.

"Sorry if I might be interrupting but I've been waiting for you for a while Casey so I thought that maybe I would join you at work."

The boy woke up checking his watch and running a hand through his hair in despair: it was half past eight and he was supposed to be at her place an hour ago.

"What? That's not possible" he turned suddenly to his friend and gave her a bad look "You couldn't check the time!"

" What?" she gasped "I was supposed to see when YOU were supposed to leave?"

"Yes! I mean" he sighed surrendered and walked over to April taking a deep breath.

"Sorry to keep you waiting and" he paused looking at the girl from head to toe and smiling slightly at her "you look lovely dress like that"

She smiled back, lowering her gaze shyly and then raising it back to him "Thank you" she said with a soft voice.

They froze looking at each other as Y/n smiled satisfiedly, waiting for the two to move for their date, which they didn't.

" Whenever you want you can move" Y/n interrupted the moment, immediately receiving a dirty look from Casey.

"Yeah, let's go," April said taking the boy under her arm and dragging him away from the office.

Casey as he walked he turned and said through his lips, "I hate you."

"I love you too" she replied giving him a wink as she watched them disappear in the elevator

Right after, she turned back to the desk to get her bag but she was immediately surprised by a mutant turtle leaning against the window.

"Raph?" she wondered as she approached him, who kept pointing to the window aperture so he could enter.

So she finally did and found herself inside the office with the turtle, who looked around with a brazen look on his face.

"Nice place, I wish I came here more often," he said suddenly provoking a giggle from Y/n.

"Well, if you want to get caught by the police more often then I won't stop you," she retorted as she closed the window.

He turned to Raphael noticing how blank his gaze was, too occupied with staring into space and not looking the girl in the eyes.

"What brings you here? I thought we were meeting at the lair tonight."

At her words he awoke, shrugging and running a hand down the back of his neck "Nothing, I just saw you weren't coming so I went to look for you at your home but you weren't there, so I thought you were at work and here you are! Even though your turn ended over an hour ago," he explained with a half smile and lowering his voice at the end of the sentence.

"Ah yeah, Casey had asked me to help him with something and stopped me for a while"

"Oh sure" his smile vanished turning into a disgusted expression "Casey"

The y/h/c noticed this, looking at him crookedly and crossing her arms over her chest "I think I missed something, Casey what?"

"No nothing" he replied indifferently in an angry tone.

"Casey what?" she repeated taunting him as he held back sighing loudly.

"I said nothing and now let's go" he replied dragging her by the arm towards the window.

"No no" she stopped herself removing her grip from his arm "Casey what?"

"Casey nothing ok! Because Casey is always in the middle of the talk anyway and he' definitely always in the middle when it is about love"

Raphael froze, only thinking later about the words he had said and realising that maybe this way Y/n had understood something, so she did.

"Do you think Casey is still in love with me?" murmured Y/n in a confused tone.

"Of course, you can see how he is."

"And in fact he's not."

"Of course he is, don't you see how he looks at you every time and how he talks to you all the time!" he ranted turning towards her.

"We're just friends Raph, plus he likes April"

"Oh yeah sure, he likes April. Of course he doesn't like April, he likes you!" he retorted again raising his voice "He likes you and honestly I can blame him since you're just beautiful, smart, nice and kind! These are all traits that any guy would choose you for, but also traits that a mutant turtle would choose you for!"

Raph stopped and looked at her, amazed at his words and with a half-open mouth from which not a word came out.

"I love you Y/n" he murmured then "And I will never stop doing, even if you're love with someone el-"

Raphael was stopped by the sudden touch of the girl's lips with his own, and was very happy about it.

He was finally kissing the girl he was in love with and no longer had to worry about what she thought because he knew she reciprocated his feelings.

They broke away after a while, meeting each other's gaze and smiling at the other.

"I love you too Raph, don't ever forget that."

_

Today is Y/n and Raph's one month anniversary, to which the last had obviously thought of something special.

Not being able to think of anything outside the lair or make a big thing of it, he decorated it to look like a luxury restaurant by arranging a table in the shape of a circle in the middle of the room.

He found two chairs with a pillow on the back and a candle holder for three candles, which he placed in the middle with a small vase containing a red rose.

While he was busy with these things, he did not notice Casey and April's entrance and almost had a stroke as he heard the latter's greeting.

"Ah it's you," he said with a hand over his heart and taking a deep breath.

"Sorry if we scared you Raph and" the girl looked around noticing how well the den was set up and was almost amazed by this "geez, did you finally clean this place up?"

"No no, I simply set it up for dinner with Y/n, you know it's been a month since we've been together and I want everything to be perfect and in fact I'm sending my brothers and Master Splinter with you, he hasn't had a good breath of fresh air in a long time and I'd say this would be the perfect opportunity to get to know New York better as well" the turtle said quickly, clearly anxious about her date.

"Raph are you alright? You look like you're sweating" Casey intervened, receiving a mock laugh in response.

"Of course I'm fine, it's just really hot in here" he replied, airing himself with his paw.

"Are you sure? I mean it sounds like you're actually anxious about the date and-"

"LEO, CASEY AND APRIL ARE HERE, BRING THE OTHERS WITH YOU AND GO AWAY," the turtle suddenly shouted, startling the two in front of him.

"Man don't yell!" muttered Casey as the rest of the mutant family joined them.

"Raphael, are you sure you don't want any of us to stay here?" asked Master Splinter but immediately received a no for an answer.

"Quite sure, now go have a nice ride until I don't know, late at night? Depends on how the night unfolds but have fun anyway."

"Raph you're sweating" Leonardo interjected almost angering his brother who pushed them all towards the exit.

"Go!"

As soon as everyone left, he set the last of the things in the table and then took the carton of pizza he had Casey order for him in the morning, he microwaved it for a few minutes.

"Perfect, it should be here any minute," he muttered to himself as he looked around.

He thought about how perfect everything was but also about the fact that something was missing and the nauseating smell of the sewers made him think of what.

He took a spray that smelled of lavender from a cupboard and began to spray every nook and cranny of the place, none excluded.

"Raph" upon hearing his voice, he threw the spray somewhere and immediately ran towards the entrance quickly settling himself, what precisely was unknown since he was not wearing any clothes.

"Y/n, there you are" he greeted her with a big smile and quickly made her take a seat at the table he had prepared.

He hadn't even paused to notice how good she looked in her dress (colour you want) because he was mesmerised by the bright colour of her eyes under the moonlight.

When she was seated, he awoke from his moment of hypnosis and went to get dinner, carrying it like a real waiter.

"Madam, did you order pizza?" he asked the girl, placing the pizza in front of her.

She giggled while Raph did the same, going to sit opposite her.

They shared the eight slices and began to eat in complete silence, both lacking in argument but Raph was not without anxiety.

He saw how Y/n barely touched the pizza with his fork and believed it was because it was cold, he had probably made a mistake ordering it at lunchtime in the morning.

'Maybe the pizza is a bit cold,' he suddenly said.

"What? No no, I'm just not very hungry"

"Oh, I thought" he panicked "I thought maybe you didn't like it because it was too cold, you know I had Casey order it this morning but I didn't think that maybe many hours later it would be cold and actually I didn't even think that maybe instead of the usual pizza I could get something simpler but actually I didn't even imagine that you weren't hungry even though that's something you say all the time and you say it because you think your body isn't doing well and I have to say I'm talking out of my ass and maybe I brought up something I shouldn't have so please stop me or I might end up really hurting you"

He stopped himself bringing a hand to his mouth as Y/n was wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

"I...Um, yeah I'm not hungry for that reason" she murmured in a light voice as she lowered her gaze.

Raphael stared at her displeased, removed his paw from his mouth, took a deep breath to calm himself and stood up to go in front of her.

He got down on his knees in front of her looking for her gaze and found it shortly after, this gave him a chance to rest a hand on her cheek.

"It's a month that we've been together, a month that I've been telling you how much I love you and how special I think you are and it's also a month that I've been telling you over and over again how perfect you are at everything. You're perfect in your work, your personality is perfect, your face is perfect, your hair is perfect but most of all," he moved his hand to her chin, taking it with two fingers, "your body is perfect."

They smiled at each other and he brought their faces closer to leave a slow but short kiss on her lips.

"You’re perfect for me Y/n"

---------------------------------

Words: 1347

Sorry for the errors and the long waiting, I'll try to be more active.

Hope you like it!

[shadamyheadcanons]

So which comic/game/animated show has your favorite portray of Shadow (and also Amy)?

Don’t worry, there’s a tl;dr at the bottom.

Shadow: This is basic, but probably Sonic Adventure 2. Great character arc, great interactions with other characters, and my favorite Shadow character model of all time. Nothing compares to the flashy, structured look of Shadow’s quills in that one, and the animation of his skating is so much more effective in SA2 compared to more recent iterations. It’s no wonder he looked so cool in that game. He actually leaned into the strides like a confident speed skater. Some games and shows just have him push his feet forward, like he’s kicking his way through snow. It’s rarely slick like it used to be. He also has his best voice actor in that game (IMO). Sinister when he needed to be, calm and sincere when the time called for it, and he had just a hint of an accent that I’ve always liked for Shadow. I’ve never fully forgiven them for taking David Humphrey away from us after only...what, two or three games? Unforgivable.

Close second for Shadow is Sonic Heroes. I think that’s a less common choice, but it showcases some of Shadow’s best traits, sets him up with his Found Family, and proves he’ll do the right thing for the planet even when he doesn’t remember Maria at all. He’s good because he’s him, and even with the uncertainty of his memory loss, he seemed happier there than he does almost anywhere else. I like to think this is how Shadow would be if the ARK massacre had never happened: serious, heroic, but mostly carefree. I don’t agree that Shadow should have stayed dead after SA2, but if he’d never regained his memories at all and just moved forward with his life from there...idk. He was on the right track before he remembered G.U.N. ruined his life. At the very least, I think there’s a good chance he’d be legitimately happier. It’s worth thinking about. Oh, and David Humphrey voices him in this one, too. A+.

Honorable mention: his absolutely absurd appearances in the bizarre Sonic Dash and Spin comic. He’s portrayed as a delinquent...

...but he’s so deeply, wonderfully weird about it:

And he’s just. So...CUTE.

How did this happen?! I love it! XD

This isn’t even factoring in the CANON crush Amy has on him, though that certainly doesn’t hurt:

Dash and Spin is definitely the kind of comic you’ll connect with more if you know a bit about Japanese culture. I’m not surprised it wasn’t pushed in the US.

As for Amy, I think my favorite was Adventure Era Amy. She had the perfect blend of bravery and compassion. IDW Amy is great because she’s cool and can defend herself, but her bravery meant so much more when she couldn’t do that. She was the weakest on the battlefield with barely any strength to her name, but she always stepped up anyway. It also fed well into moments like the climax of SA2 because an ordinary girl who was counted out even by her own friends could still make a difference. I’ll never begrudge IDW or the pre-Frontiers comics for giving her the strength she’s rightfully earned by now, dammit, but I’m divided on this.

I also love Heroes Amy. She wasn’t OP like she is now, but she had a few new tricks up her sleeve, and they were hers alone. Propeller Hammer? Tornado Hammer? Her unique style of leadership through positivity that led even a fisherman, a child, and a Chao to victory? Damn impressive while still being believable for her skill and experience level at the time. She was making progress her way, not just through brute force. I usually prefer Lisa Ortiz as Amy’s VA, but Jennifer Douillard does a great job here. I think she’s at her best voicing Amy in Heroes. She finally got to be something other than just sweet.

The elephant in the room is her sudden, uh...aggression toward Sonic. Luckily, this is softened in the Japanese version. English gave us this:

“This time, there’s no way out of marrying me!”

...but in Japanese, it’s this:

“Sonic! Today’s the day I’ll get you to marry me!!”

It’s still too pushy, but she’s not saying “I’ll force you to marry me.” She’s saying “You’ll be so impressed with how far I’ve come that you’ll want to marry me.” It’s subtle, but it’s so much better, especially because Sonic pretends to lose and literally flees from her afterward while yelling, “Marriage?! No way!”

Lmao, what a coward. And Cream knows it.

Localization slandered Amy Rose in a horrible, permanent way IMO. It was after Heroes that the fandom decided she was a “crazy psycho fangirl.” It’s taken years for her to shake off that stigma, and I feel like she lost a lot of her spark in the process, at least in the games.

Thank God she still has it in Mega Drive and IDW.

I’m not the only one who feels Sega threw the baby out with the bathwater. Amy looks and acts too soft now if you ask me.

Girly is fine. Girly is good. This is Amy, after all. But...this?

Does this look like an adventurer to you? She doesn’t to me. Something was lost along the way. :(

Let her be a proper hedgehog with a backbone! Let her have a bit of an edge to her! Cream can be the soft one.

tl;dr SA2 Shadow, Adventures Era Amy, and elements of Heroes for both. So...my childhood, basically. I don’t think it’s just nostalgia, though.

(Is it obvious I just replayed Sonic Heroes? I actually got to defeat the last boss for the first time!!)