#and to my friends and to everyone amd especially to myself

[ii-darkfic-confessions]

I relistened to an mlp grimdark the other day, it's called 'downfall' and it's about Twilight being driven to kill from her own curiosity about what drives someone to kill and how it feels to kill

And I want to read something like that about Test Tube, alot of Test Tube darkfics I read just have her go "Oh damn, I'm bored af rn. I should unethically experiment on my friends 🤭"

Like guys come on, she's a SCIENTIST, I think it makes more sense to make her actions driven by a strong urge to just know

She'a been fixating on older unethical experiments and new questions that humans can't answer since it cannot be answered through ethical means. It sparks a question in her mind, how would it feel to answer those questions? Hold her very own unquestionably unethical experiments. No! Surely it would be horrible! Torturing people for her own gain... but it would answer so many questions. Not just her questions but questions that have plagued science for years, and she'd be the one to know all the answers!

She's disgusted in herself, horrified by her own mind but she just NEEDS to know. It'll be okay if it's just one person, right? She'll just take someone no-one cares about. Trophy! She'll just sedate him somehow and take him back to her lab and no-one will care, it's just Trophy. And once she's done with him, her questions will be answered and she'll be back to normal

She promises herself that it'll just be a few tests, just the important stuff, then all the important questions will be asked. Then she'll just make something to erase his memory and send him off in his merry way! But... once she's done her tests, she's filled with more questions, questions that cannot be answered ethically and questions that cannot be answered through Trophy.

She is once again disguested and horrified but like always, her curiosity wins. She justifies her actions to herself. It's just people that no-one cares about! Trophy, Taco, Tissues, Salt. Sure they have a couple friends but it's barely anyone.

But her questions don't stop, she needs more people. Test Tube resists her brain for as long as she can. But her curiosity will always win in the end. And what is she most curious about now? Paintbrush's fire.

And boom! Classic evil Test Tube but more interesting in my opinion. I also get a bit annoyed when Test Tube instantly loses her empathy, especially since the starting victims are usually her best friends. I think it would be more interesting for her to feel bad, to REALLY regret her actions but she's in too deep or she just can't get her curiosity in check. She knows she's so far past 'in the wrong' but she tries to justify to herself that she's trying to do this with everyone's wellbeing in mind.

Sure, literally everything she's doing cause against scientific ethics... and just, regular ethics. But she tries to follow what ethics she can. She never deceives them, unless she absolutely and undeniably has to lie, she is very straightforward amd truthful about her plans.

Or ignoring all that, just go down the simple route of the curiosity driving her to kill. The experiment is the murders, no labs included. Actually probably yes lab included if she's going to kill in a controlled environment and record her findings.

Actually, I'm going to bookmark that last one for myself, might write that someday 🤭

Very fascinating. As I first began reading, I assumed your concept would be like Experiment 21, which was also motivated by Test Tube’s morbid curiosity, but I was pleasantly surprised to see the fact that you thoroughly planned her thought process, choosing people she has less of an emotional attachment to.

[softie-rain]

I know none of you are as crazy about Coral as I am but could you do a little drabble of her and Mizzen going around Four's market place amd selling things?🥺 just silly little wholesome seablings??🥺🥺

THE NEVER GET REAPED EVER THEY LIVE A LONG HAPPY LIFE IN FOUR NO ONE CHANGE MY MIND

sweetheart I'll write anything you ask me to

Also Coral is growing on me and I've always loved Mizzen my pookie. Sorry this took so long 😔🫶🏻 I sneaked in a few headcanons I have about them, hopefully these aren't too out of character (especially for Coral 🥲)

"Mizzen, this is dumb." Coral whispered, looking around the market. She observed hers and Mizzen's market bench, looking so small and insignificant compared to the others.

"It's not! Your artworks are amazing, and everyone wants the bracelets I make with shells at school!"

Coral shook her head, unconvinced. Mizzen finished fixing the table with the small handwritten price tags and smiled proudly. He cleared his throat and moved in front of the table, while Coral stood behind uncomfortable.

She knew they needed to do this. Coral's family wasn't exactly starving, but her mother had fallen sick and was unable to provide for her and her siblings. Mizzen was the only one to know about her situation, being the only one Coral trusted with such delicate and personal information.

She didn't think he'd offer to help her like this though.

Mizzen cleared his throat, and started loudly calling for clients. "Homemade bracelets! Buy your bracelet made with freshly caught shells! Every bracelet you buy, you get a painting for free!"

Coral blushed looking at her drawings. In her eyes they weren't that good, but Mizzen had always said she underestimate herself. She looked around once more. Everyone was too busy buying food to pay attention to them, the yells of the other sellers calling for fresh fish much louder than Mizzen's. And for the first twenty minutes, no one even dared looking at them.

"Mizzen, maybe we should-"

"Homemade?" An old lady asked, getting closer to their small table.

Mizzen smiled happily, "Yes ma'am! I made them myself just this morning!"

The old lady chuckled at Mizzen's excitement, nodding. "They sure are beautiful, you are one talented young boy."

Mizzen's smile widened. "Thank you!"

"Did you make those drawings as well?"

"Oh, no," Mizzen said, moving aside, "these were made by Coral here."

Coral gulped, her cheeks getting redder as the lady smiled at her. "Did you?"

She nodded. "Uh, yeah. Just something I do after work, to relax."

The lady raised an eyebrow, confused. "Work?"

"Yes, she helps her mother cut the fish my father catches, and then we sell it together." Mizzen explained, and Coral angrily stared at him. Why was he telling the story of their life to this stranger? She didn't need anyone's pity, they were just trying to make a few more money, that didn't mean Mizzen had to go and tell a sob story to everyone.

Mizzen ignored her glare and kept looking hopeful at the lady, who frowned. "How old are you kids?"

"Thirteen and fourteen, ma'am." Mizzen replied, pointing at him and Coral. The lady nodded.

"I'll buy two, for my grandson and granddaughter. They'd love your bracelets! And your drawings too, Coral." The lady decided, winking at Coral.

Coral awkwardly smiled, while Mizzen thanked her. He took the bracelets the lady pointed at and two drawings, one representing a red, dying coral - "It's sad.", "It's art, Mizzen. It's self-descriptive." - and a yellow fish surrounded by bubbles.

The lady smiled. "You kids are doing a great job. I'm sure your parents are proud of you." She said, and then left.

Mizzen looked as she walked away and then turned to smile at Coral. "See? I told you! You need to be more confident, my friend." He said proudly. He turned around and stated yelling again, drawing attention to himself.

Coral chuckled and rolled her eyes, secretly deeply thankful for Mizzen's help. She walked up to him in front of the table as well, starting to call for clients with him. Maybe her drawings weren't perfect, but if one old lady had liked them, trying some more couldn't hurt anyone, right?

[relax-and-read-on]

2024, Hello!

What a year it has been, right?

I usually try to talk only about warhammer 40k on this blog. I don't like mention if my personal life, or politics, or even other fandom, really. That said, this year was... Far from easy for me. Health problem, job problem, finances, politiques, (shout out to all the queer french canadian who are also scared shitless!), moving in a new place, insane inflation....

I had given myself the huge objective to publish 200k words for 2023. At the end, this is the result:

108k words. You can also add about 50k of unpublished original work. Here is the list of fic that I have published/updated in 2023 (by view count), and some little thought/insight on them:

Agency - My big fem primarch au. You can really see me grow, if you read it from start to finish. It's been *years* since I started this fic, at this point, the ending that I have planned is like my white whale. One day.... One day, I will defeat it. Terribly hard to write but SO satisfying

Tales of different lives - if Agency is my dark nemesis, than my planet swap is coming home to a soft bed. It's so easy and FUN to write that au. I know not everyone like the lighter take toward the world this one take, and that's ok. Sometime... It's just nice, to have softer things, especially after such a year.

Phantom of the (warhammer?)-pera - I am begging you. On my knees. Read this one. It's my fav thing I have ever written. It's so much fun. It's totally INSANE and I loved every moment of it. I want to go back and fight the formatting again, to finish implanting all the notes. They are SO much fun. Also has AMAZING cover art by @skrankku !

Five times People tried and failed to Seduce Roboute Guilliman to Chaos... - Absolute surprised to me how people loved that fic. Ngl, I was actually sick/very depressed when I wrote it, but it warm heart that other enjoyed it.

This Once Nearly Was Mine - This one does not count, it's @kingwithpaintedfingers AMAZING Vulkan's POV to Castle of Glass, my Mortarion/Vulkan soulmate au. I am amazed and humbled to be able to work with such a great writer, and be able to call you a friend. I HIGHLY recommend all their work.

Trust - I had to actually check that one, and turns out, it was the update to my Talos/Septimus fic! Can you believe that I forget my own fic?! I am silly. Surprisingly delightful. I need to write more of this ship.

Birdcage - written for an exchange, specifically for @funboxsupreme , another criminally good writer. This fic, in my humble opinion, is some of my best writing. Extremely dark, I also SOMEHOW managed some really cool "special effect" in it, and I am PLEASED with myself.

In the Garden - a VERY quick and horny piece for Nan, a PROLIFIC writer whom I cannot help but be in awe of (also heeeelp I don't have your tumblr, poke me and I will tag you!)

Old Crows and Young Cardinals - This is an interesting one! This fic seem barely started, but it's mostly because the rest of it require MASSIVE planning and careful writing, as it deal with time travel and has a stupidly complex plot. I cannot wait to unveil more of it.

By proxy - hehehe, another really cool gift for a friend, this time for Lieara/Allyria! Even if this list is making me realise how many of yall tumblrs I don't know. I feel like an Old man trying to remember phone number lmao.

Day 2 - Bootworship and Sister of battle - a fun little fic part of the "40 kink for 40k" challenge that I NEED to continue, started by the wonderful @iapetusneume . Also.... Lesbian. Need more Lesbian.

The only way - A other fic that I had completely forgotten that I wrote. It's such a strange feeling, to reread your own words and go "I did this??" It's not bad, but it was written during one of those hard period of the year, and as such feel extra alien to me.

Day 1 - Geneseed, but sexy and Homeworld - another 40k for 40 kink fic, this one was a LOT of fun to write! Amd kinda specifically made for @bobthebobhere , another good friend in this fandom!

The miracle of science (and children) - a gift fic that was supose to be part of an exchange, but took too long! This one is for @shootertron-stuff , an artist that I highly respect and love! If you like it kinky, go tead their stuff, they are an inspiration.

In the Lion's Den. - Hahahahahaha lmao. So, fun fact: On reddit, there is a user who post horribly misogynist/homophobic Tau torture porn with his OC chapter. I got mad, and wrote a spit gay porn fic of his OCs. To his credit, he rolled with it and was amused at it. I still don't like him, and never will, but I have his blessing to keep it up, so!

The Bird, The Wolf and the Keeper - a little experiment, in poetry format fic. I liked it well enough, and will attempt some more in 2024 I think :)

(A secret fic exchange, yet to be revealed)

(another one!)

So.... 18 fics total. I think there should be pride in that. I like the variety of them, even if I want to push out more, do more unique and stranger fic, for 2024. It was a difficult year, but creating so much made it easier, made it more worth it. I am... Happy, with it all.

If you have questions about my fics, now is the time! Otherwise, I will see you soon, with more writing, and more joy in sharing.

I wish you all a wonderful year 2024, better than the last, safety, comfort, and peace. May we all had fun in this fandom!

[inkdoe]

Random lists of things about Seela (my Revan) cause idk I'm bored and I want the world to know I guess:

She kinda sucks at math. Ok, not true, she's average. That for her is like sucking at it cause she's used to being good at almost everything else. But math is boring anywaaayyy (as all not math skilled people tell themselves to cope).

She loooves being around kids, playing with them, etc etc. Back at the temple, she was like the unofficial cool older sister of all the younglings. That includes baby Bastila, who begged her for lightsaber lessons. They weren't especially close, but baby Bastila admired her a lot and kinda considered her a friend. Yes, now the start of kotor hurts so much more, I know. I did this to myself.

She's actually not that great at repairing droids either (one of my weak skills in game). Idk if that was the brain damage, cause in theory she built HK, or if she needed help with that too. We'll never know.

You know what she excelles at? Making puns and jokes. Everywhere. Everytime. With everyone. It can become a bit tiring. Sometimes she's being annoying on purpose, too. But humor is also her defense mechanism... so if she's not cracking jokes it means there's something seriously wrong.

Before the mandalorian wars, she used to have reaaally long hair. Her hair are also very easy to style (she's been blessed by the force or something, idk). This meant she loved to go around the temple with elaborate and different hairdos. She had some more practical/easy ones obviously, but she liked to experiment and be a little extra. Padme and Leia style, but without being royalty. I bet sometimes that earned her dirty looks from some jedi masters lol. She cut it short before going to war. She also cut it herself... badly. She totally pretented that it was on purpose, and "It doesn't matter anyway if I'm wearing an helmet!". They are still kinda short amd uneven by her kotor days, hence why I draw her with one of the locks at the side of her face longer than the other (idk how noticeable it is).

Maybe this makes her seems kinda silly and frivolous, but it's a mask. She's a great strategist and manipulator (unfortunately written by me, a dumbass). The closest comparison I can think of is "Thrawn but if he had a sense of humor".

Speaking of masks, she's always wearing one. Metaphorically. If you know the song "The worlds's greatest actor", that's how I imagine her. She seems casual but everything is calculated. Or almost everything. She let's go of this mindset, eventually, at least enough to make genuine connections with people.

Idk about where exactly she came from, but I know she was an orphan surviving on the streets before the jedi found her. She was really young, like four or five, but I think part of her manipulative mentality and need to be in control stems from there.

[vivimura]

Spilling tea because you asked for it 💋

Soooo Summer 2024 I got to this new school and it‘s so so so much better then my old school. I‘ve never had a serious crush crush you know? Sure I found a few boys beautiful and like them but that my admiration wasn’t something serious. In my social circle I‘m the only one who hasn’t had a real romantic interaction with a boy. I have a friend (we call her 🍓)who is some months younger then me, she said she also never had a boyfriend but some boys invited her to hang out and she agreed out off politeness (these were really big fails) but nothing else happened.

Now I remember the first day of school. Me, 🍓 and two other girls just got transferred to this school and in the last minute the teachers told us that we had to change the class because that class didn’t have enough people. So I walked into a new classroom (everyone else was already there) and then I remembered I had eye contact with this boy (call me delusional but for a moment it was just like in a movie)

At the end of the day 🍓 talked to me and we got friends because everyone else knew each other already except us. The next day 🍓 offered me to sit next to her (there was a free seat between her and my crush we call him 🍎) Me and him started off as Idk we got along pretty well in my version but I wouldn’t say that we were friends you know? By the time I was knowing 🍎 I found out that he retook this year and is also a refugee, so that’s why he is 2 years older than me. I realised that I really liked him but sadly he had a gf at that time so I gave up + I‘m 100% not his type and I feel very insecure about my looks especially my body and face.

Around December he changed his seat. He is know sitting at the back row with his friends and the most of our interactions were made because we sat next to each other. So our communication ans interaction are basically now nonexistent + also he kinda changed..? Idk my feelings aren’t as strong as they used to be for him. He is sometimes nice - okay.

Well yea some weeks ago I removed him from my instagram account because why should I still follow him if we don’t interact you know..? + He also never post some stories and we don’t communicate on that app. But you know what I find out? He broke up with his girlfriend 4 Months ago and they were dating 1 year and some months I‘d say almost 2 years. (He told that by himself)

Now when I was walking pass him and his friend group last week I heard him saying:“ [Boy Name] Is so annoying. Like yesterday I posted a story and he answered, that I just post that story to impress [girl Name] But I‘m not interested in her“ (this is not the accurate translation because I live in a country were you don’t speak english) In that moment I kinda regretted to remove him.

🍎 is a really confident boy (I can understand that because he knows that he‘s beautiful) 🍓, Him and I had a french exam and durning the preparation I told 🍓 about my obsession with Matteo from the show „Soy Luna“ I said:“He‘s so cute and beautiful 😭“ 🍎 sat in front of 🍓, he turned around and said:“I know, I‘m handsome“ Like he was just joking so I joked back and I was like:“Yea [his name] you‘re sooo beautiful“ amd he just laughed.

Then I continue to talk to 🍓 about Matteo and I said:“He has a girlfriend“ 🍎 again said:“No at that time I‘m single“ So I joked back:“Oh my god [his name] is single, I have to take this chance 😱!!“

Before our teacher walked in 🍓 said to 🍎:“We have to manifest that this exam is going to be great“ She took his hand and they both just joked a bit (I might have felt jealous, but just a tiny big🤏🏽 ) In general I think he always liked 🍓 more than me, because she is really a impressive and interesting person + there also might be this other girl he was talking about in his friend group

So yeha how many aura points am I loosing for saying“I‘m over him. “ knowing that there might be some little feelings for him ._.

Nah I‘m always telling myself:“Jungwon is better, he would never do this“ to get completely over him

how do you know he likes strawberry and not u!!!!!!

u should become a lil closer to him, i think most of the time girls are able to tell if a guy likes them or not

if u dont like him that much, then just move on, but if you do, take a chanceeeee

whats the worsr that could happen

[lexcellence]

BANSHEE???? THE COP?????

look, i went from the available choices, and my vote went to Beto anyway

Let's break these choices down, yeah?

Cyclops - tl;dr There are specific periods of time where Scott is "hot," and the vast majority of the time he isn't! Is he my blorbo? Yes. Do I run a sideblog where the header is his Foxy Grandpa Ass jutting out? Of course. Can I vote him in good conscience? I don't think so.

Colossus - the man spent how much time trying to fuck a fourteen year old? He heard Mutants were moving to a sex cult island and was baffled because his dead pal Jeff was a human. Pass.

Gambit - not even with Rogue's dick.

Wolverine - I only barely believe he can find the clit, and have ZERO confidence he could locate my prostate, and I'm unsure enough about his grooming habits that I wouldn't willingly put any part of myself in any part of him. Pass.

Iceman - Closeted Iceman? Maybe. But out Iceman is an overcompensating baby gay written almost exclusively by straight dudes, and I have a strict policy of never touching white gays who have "BBC" in their search history.

Warren Kenneth Worthington the Third - do you know what happens to Angel's love interests? I'd rather not be hatecrimed by Cameron Hodge for a few sweaty minutes of underwhelming halfhearted bottoming from a princess who provides the own stuffing for his pillows. Keep flying, birdboy.

Nightcrawler - I know, I know, the man is a sex icon, but I'm not getting involved in any of that family drama. If it's not his evil lesbian moms trying to kill me, it'd be his step-sisters trying to get back in his spandex. Not worth it, especially after all that shit in Way of X.

Havok - Matt Fraction's Clint Barton: The Mutant Flavor???? Listen, I adore a broken man who knows his place as much as the next nigga, don't get me wrong, but if I'm not picking Scott, I'm definitely not picking his Luigi.

I do appreciate his commitment to the bit, though.

Banshee - let's jump back to Cyclops for a minute. Without getting into shipping war bullshit, most of the times he's been "hot" are when he's playing off of Emma Frost, right? Emma's tertiary mutation is the ability to make everyone else more interesting just by association, because she's fucking great. I mean I just read an Iron Man book for her, for fuck's sake. Back in the 90's, when she was newly not-evil, she and Banshee were essentially the co-leads of Generation X, a book that, when it wasn't being the New New New Mutants, about two unreasonably sexy people who couldn't stand each other being unreasonably sexy at each other. Even putting that aside (and if you read a few issues, you'll get it), the man's spent decades dedicated to flying around with his tits out due to mysterious clothing damage, amd I appreciate that.

Sunspot - look, I fixated on him when I was nine, as the only character I could find who was like me at all, and that was ignoring all the gay subtext with his best friend even before it turned into outright queerbaiting. I grew up with him, and he's only gotten better since then. He's the only dude in my top 5 muties. He's flawless (give or take bad taste in men and a propensity for being whitewashed), he's perfect, he's hilarious, he's my vote AND yours, he's Sunspot.

Cannonball - in my seminal 2020 fic, "How Many Times Would You Say You've Been In Love," I summed Beto's Best Boy up thusly:

Sam laughed, a quiet, gentle, chuckle that crinkled the corners of his eyes, not that Roberto could bring himself to look at them. Instead his own eyes travelled everywhere else, from Sam's mess of a mop, to his strong jaw, to the gap in his front teeth, his okay-for-a-white-boy lips, the freckles that covered his nose, and ending up… 

Do I love Sam as a character? Absolutely, he's one of the best. But he's not hot, he's a lapse in taste. Love conquers all, they say. 😔

Bishop - as one of exactly two Black men the poll listed, I want to give Bishop his flowers, but I have never read a good Bishop story where he wasn't awful. No baby gays, but no self-hating Black genocidaires, either.

[97-liners]

Okay first of all, im defending her because of the content of the fic amd i have personally read it, NOT because she specifically is my friend. And second of all im not asking anyone to become personal friends with authors i didnt even imply that, i mean if ur gonna read an author, looking at gheir page a bit might be helpful but thats optional, now for the last bit if you read the first four paragraphs of a fic and go "oh this isnt for me" then it ISNT for you, dont assume the rest of the fic is bad or it doesnt get better, angst is a genre that exists and it has vsrying levels, just because it isnt for you doesnt mean its disgusting or wrong especially in this context. For example, i like to read angsty fics about dealing with weight issues because of my ed but that doesnt mean its for everyone and it doesnt mean the fic is GLORIFYING anything such as "being skinny" which the fic isnt even about btw

You always go on when people have a counter arguement trying to own them like "oh well this defense train" "oh well your her friend so your biased" i have a working brain dont i ??? I can come to conclusions myself without bias, im coming to you in your asks as a fat person, not as her friend although yes i am going to defend her. If i see bullshit i call it out, if she was in the wrong i wouldve 100% told her that, i think we have talked to each other enough for you to know this about me anyway but all you ever want to do is be in the right about things and blame other people and be self righteous and im kind of sick of defending you for it to my other mutuals but this was definitely the last straw. Slandering people for fics that you personally dislike as opposed to it being ACTUALLY harmful is crossing a pretty big line and this is ridiculous

this entire ask has nothing to do with the previous rant you sent in my inbox or the original anon that was hurt and the subsequent discussions but ok

but since you’re so insistent of me reading the full fic, i did. and i still don’t see how it’s supposed to be an angst fic about overcoming bullying when the entire premise is “i was bullied for being fat, then i lost weight and got really fit and skinny, and now everybody is fawning over me”

this isn’t a “this isn’t for me” reaction, this is a “this is cruel and i feel shitty and ugly reading it” reaction.

from the start, there’s so much emphasis on the contrast between the former self and the better, more attractive and more successful current self. the current self is repeatedly emphasized to be thin and fit.

throughout the entire fic there’s continued references to how attractive both characters are and it’s almost always tied to thinness (eg hoshi’s sharp jaw and muscles)

i understand that maybe this is why you said this is angst about overcoming bullying. but if “overcoming” bullying is you losing a lot of weight and entirely changing your lifestyle and appearance, and “overcoming” is also your former bullies being envious of your success, then that’s a really fucked to message to communicate.

this isn’t a case where writing is bad and i don’t like it, the writing is okay both from a technical standpoint and from a style standpoint. but the content is actively harmful. like, sorry if you can’t see it, or if you think that it’s positive representation of the experience of being bullied. i hope you can overcome that and set healthier expectations.

[richardsgraysons]

Hello, this is for the matchup event

Im 5'6 and my hair is naturally blonde but rn it's dyed pink and it reaches my lower back. My eyes are grey and I wear glasses.

For personality I'm shy at first cause it takes time for me to get used to people and even longer to open up to them. Once I am used to someone tho I'm usually the dirty minded friend in the group. I really like kids and animals and find them so cute but too much fur makes me sneeze/congested so I need to take allergy medicine if I'm around a long of them. I'm very touchy with people I a close to and love cuddles.

For hobbies I'm kind of a workaholic and work nights most of the time but I my free time I like reading webtoons, playing genshin impact, and watchingYouTube. Usually is something videogame related or book related if im not listening to music on there. I love romance books especially if it's fantasy. I prefer watching people play and talking about books they read rather tan doing it myself. I dye my hair quite a bit and love doing unnatural colors. Also I'm leaning how to sew/ crochet but al I can so is mend holes, fix buttons amd make blankets.

Sorry if it's awkward and long, it's my first time doing an ask. <3

JASON TODD

something about you just screams you’d attract jason todd. i’m thinking you’re studying late night in a public library when two face barges in, fighting jason as red hood. he’s awfully surprised because it’s three in the morning, but you pay the librarian extra to study in here by yourself. he’s extremely worried

but something about you intrigues him. so after the reparations, jason finds everything about you he can. he notices your similar patterns about staying late in the library and one day he, as jason todd, has the balls to talk to you by yourself in the library

yall kiss first in the library in front of the Greek myths section by accident, and then it turned into an actual kiss

you guys have a kitty cat and a doggie in your home. i feel like jason likes bigger breeds for dogs and you get to choose the cat’s breed. they’re both rescues

super supportive of you learning crocheting—“babe, dyou wanna go to the art store today? they have a 20% off today on all things crocheting!” and would honestly be a lot more observant of these things than you

lord this man has hyper fixations and they’re all books. “this fuckin’ guy…babe, you would not believe what an asshole the antagonist of this book im reading is”

the both of you are so inappropriate at wayne galas. a good way to scare off the flirts and let everyone know that you’re weird once you get to know them

[afghanprincess69]

mar 15, 1am

last night i was having beers at the cambie with jenny, texting emma, talking and listening to jenny at the same time amd jenny paused and said woah... you're texting so fast,, and listening to me at the same time... ? and I said .....? go on .......? i'm listening! as I continued to finish my text. Those beers were good but we were worse off for it, the nausea and awful repercussions on the toilet today. because I was slightly hungover, I thought I might take a cue from Mia and Robbie's book and go watch a movie in the theatre by myself. I opted for a 4:25 showing of Mickey 17 Robbert Pattinson's new flick, and it certainly was engrossing. Though with my newfound confidence I was irked, to be sitting alone in a mostly alone theatre. If it had been fully alone, I would have felt more relaxed, but just the scattering of people there worked to emphasize my loneliness all the more. I had to fight myself in order to relax into the movie. and I consoled myself, this is the first time of me doing this. Of course I would be nervous, the individual viewing so alien to my senses. I missed a friend, my friend emily with whom we would go to the theater with. I'm not sure why she isn't answering my texts - i hope she's okay but it does border on cruel. Everyone is so disposable these days, me included. I am so keen to this fright. so it's been a terribly lonely day. Mother feels it too, so I lied down and gave her a hug, but she is not great company in the long run. I suppose her brain has somewhat atrophied from all the years of loneliness, but im sure the feeling still persists. At least she has me, her choice above all. She must feel alright in that regard. I didn't have a choice. I'm simply here - successful in work but my personal life has fallen to ruin. I must get out into the small town again, to be with my yahoos. to mingle with the genuine small town folks. I might find my people there, with the nature especially. Or even feel far less alone - out in the wilderness, where lonesomeness is a fact of breathing. where I can look out into the wide tall ocean and draw pleasure there. As well as a cat - that big big cat named rambo to be adopted out of victoria. This week I shall read/ get my L and update all my ID too.I shall message Hunter - it was meant to be today but it will be tomorrow. I truely need his cheap tear down house. I want to fill it with a cat. I might feel good living alone out there. with the big tall ocean lapping at my feet, and neighbours who are nosy for once. friendly for twice. i hope against all hopes all the astro blasts have been warning against manifesting during the full moon - well I was too nauseated from beer last night to engage in that spell. but tonight I sincerely wish upon all wishes, please my lucky stars. Send me a beautiful, kind creative boy whose friends can become my friends. Whose family can become my family. Send me that beautiful, kind, creative, funny boy. I'll choose kindness everytime. I'll choose it sincerely.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

I am here

The beep of a new notification awoke Lan Wangji from his slumber, the screen reading 3.04 am when he picked it up to check. It was unusual for anyone to text him that late, especially knowing he adhered to a strict 9pm curfew, so he was confused to say the least - perhaps there was an emergency? Or someone accidentally messaged him instead of someone else?

Regardless, he unlocked his phone and was greeted with a voice message from... Wei Ying? Sure, they talked and were friends (to be specific, Lan Wangji had a massive crush on him, but Wei Ying didn't particularly notice that and Lan Wangji didn't try to make it too obvious either), but that was the first time Wei Ying messaged him so late in the night.

Lan Wangji knew that, unlike himself, Wei Ying had a hectic sleep schedule and lived off some very questionable concoctions to stay awake (how he was alive, Lan Wangji didn't know), but 3 am was late even for his standards. Had he been drinking or something? Lan Wangji sighed, prepared himself to hear perhaps some drunken nonsense amd pressed play.

Wei Ying's voice sounded through the room, a forced tone of happiness.

Hey, Lan Zhan! Um, sorry I'm sending this so late, you're probably sleeping - well, I know you are, you always sleep so early... (a small laugh)...but I...

I really have nobody else to talk to right now... which is weird because I have so many friends, but it seems like everyone is... (a deep, somewhat wobbly sigh)... everyone's too busy for me today. (the sound of liquid sloshing in a bottle follows). And that's fine, you know? People have their own lives and stuff...

But... today has been hard for me and I thought... I don't know. I got written up at work today even if it wasn't my fault and they're taking 5% off my salary this month as punishment, my car broke down in the middle of that god damned storm this afternoon and I missed A-Yuan's recital... Wen Qing yelled at me for 30 minutes for it because A-Yuan's been inconsolable... he thinks I just didn't wanna be there... because I wasn't last time either, I was working late and... She took him for the weekend because she said I need to sort myself out... (sniffling) Today's been really horrible and I just... I feel a bit pathetic but... I really need someone right now.

--

Wei Ying miserably finished his bottle of wine and before reaching to open another one, a few knocks on his door broke through the silence of his apartment. He decided to ignore them and hope whoever was at the door would leave - probably someone with a wrong address or something - but when the knocking didn't stop, Wei Ying got up off the floor with an annoyed grunt and unlocked the door, ready to tell someone off.

Instead, he met eyes with Lan Zhan, a bit disheveled and obviously just woken up, carrying a bag from Wei Ying's favorite takeout place.

"Lan Zhan? What are you... doing here? It's really late and-"

"You said you needed someone."

Wei Ying's eyes welled up with tears.

"I am here."

[autisticlee]

whenever I say I want a friend group to do stuff with as a group but struggle to get that, I always get responses from people saying they hate being part of a group of friends and avoid it and i'm better off only having a few individual friends. because friend groups are drama and stuff.

what they think I want is a group of friends who are all friends together and only hang out together and don't have other friends outside of this group or something like that probably. that's not actually what i'm saying. I had that once and it ended with individual friends I brought together and introduced to each other becoming closer friends with each other and kicking me out. I dont really want that again. so i'm not looking for a group chat that talks daily.

what I want more and actually mean is a group of individual friends or people who are get acquainted and get along well enough who can come together as a group and do group activities with me. they don't all be friends outside of these activities. they just do stuff with me because they all like me I guess??? (difficulty level: impossible) for example: play multi-player video games, do a cosplay group of multiple characters from one series, do photoshoots or videos or some other creative project together, go bowling or play tennis or something. I want to do activities that require/would be better with more than me alone or one other person. we don't need to chat every day or even every month. we don't need to necessarily chat outside of the activities. I just want enough people that want to be around me that they agree to meet up as a group and participate in the activities I want to do with them!

also, i get that some autistic people are overwhelmed by too many people and not getting to converse. as an autistic that struggles to talk and converse, I feel overwhelmed and pressured when i'm with only one person and am forced to talk and entertsim that person the whole time. if i'm with more people, they can talk and entertain each other. I just want them to include me and talk to me but not expect me to speak the entire time and entertain them. not assume i'm bored or hate them because i'm not speaking. they let me enjoy the activity with them and include me, but they don't make me the center of attention. I can't multitasking. I like doing things with people. either you get a disjointed and bad conversation from me only (which requires a quiet space like sitting at my house doing nothing) or we do something fun and I don't force myself to talk the whole time and enjoy the activities instead. everyone hates "awkward silence" and wants to have verbal conversation. but that's hard for me. so I benefit from groups because of that too.

but mainly I just want people to do things with me that I need more people for. so i need a "friend group" aka a group of people i'm friends with who are OK doing things with me AND other people in a group setting. most individual friends I've bad refuse to participate in anything with more people, especially strangers. so i've missed out on and have to give up SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO.

ove been trying to get at least 5 other people to play gartic phone with me for YEARS. I had one person try to play with me and it doesn't work with 2 players 😭😭😭 this is why I need a group!!!!

as much as i'd love a cute little found found family of 3-4 of us who stifk together and love each other equally forever, I gave up on that idea. it's impossible. im better off having this other idea of friend group. JUST SO I CAN LEAVE NY HOUSE A FEW TIMES A YEAR AND GET TO EXPERIENCE THINGS IN LIFE AMD DO FUN ACTIVITIES. thats all I ask for and i get nothing. no one invites me and my invitations are turned down. meeting one-on-one is stressful and I bore the person to death when I burn my single spoon of the day before we even get to the place we go to. I dread all the "why are you so quiet/why won't you talk/what do you want to do make the decision for us/you look bored and annoyed and upset/you aren't having fun/you hate me" that get every time I do something with one person.

yeah being in a group i get left out and ignored and left behind. but THATS THE THING I WANT A GROUP THAT DOESNT DO THAT. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO HARD. WHY IS IT IMPPSSOBLE TO GET THE TYPE OF HUMAN INTERACTION I WAMT AND NEED TO LIVE A HEALTHY AND HAPPY LIFE?! I DONT UNDERSTAND. WHY AM I SO INCONVENIENT AND UNLIKEABLE AND UNWANTED AND UNWORTHY IN GENERAL! ITS UNFAIR.

you can't tell me to keep trying and find "the one(s)" and "it will happen ONE DAY" i'm tired of waiting for "one day" when this mythical one day hasn't happened in 30 years! I don't care about a possible future that may not exist. I care about HERE AND NOW ONLY. THE PRESENT. THATS WHAT MATTERS. I dont care if it took you until you're 27 or 45 or 70 to find your best friend(s) thar doesn't help me feel better! doesn't give me the hope you think it will. good for you. but i'm not you. everyone wants to give advice but no one wants to step up. I try talking to them and they tell me how to find other friends but wont realize i'm trying to be their friend! or don't give me a chance.

i've found "the one" so many times and they ended up being a false hope. I put in 100% of the work at all times. i'm the only desperate needy loser that has no close friends and get denied/ignored 99% of the time. I don't have energy for this. I can't keep doing it! no one understands how hard I try. i've tried in person stuff. i've tried discord servers. i've posted on social media. I even posted in Facebook groups and I hate Facebook with a passion. I try groups of interests I have. i'm always the weird outcast in every situation. I can't even get among with and befriend fellow autistics. I don't know what's wrong with me! i've tried talking to at least 500 different people last year if you count all active people in discord servers and Facebook groups i've tried. i've tried at least 50 individuals both online and off. nothing works!!!! I don't know why!!!

I will whine about this stuff until the day I die. alone and probably unnoticed 😔✊️ no other way to get frustration out than whine about it over and over right?

[soullikethesea]

Meep. Pain has been pretty bad again yesterday and today. I thought I was just imagining it, but then I got those *intense moments* and I was like "OK, OK, owwwieeeee. I'm listening."

I don't know if it's just because it normally would be the week before my period now. Or because I had some cookies (sugar). Or because I did some difficult inner work.

I let Mae draw a memory and she did, but now it all feels like I'm faking. Maybe it was just a bit too much. I also still feel a lot of shame about the T session.

The good news is that a friend is going to help me with the job process. We had a long call last night and it feels so helpful to have some support. I really need it. (Which I'm also ashamed of, but nvm).

For now I mostly just wish the pain could ease. It's not as intense as it was before BC, but it's still pretty intense back and hip pain, gastrointestinal discomfort/pain, and those sharp pains. Like someone trying to put your intestines on their fork. Plus the dull pains of small patches of pain that sort of radiate out. I can still talk and walk and I'll probably also try to exercise. Hopefully that will help.

I think I need a day of distraction. No trauma stuff, please. But I can feel everything with Mae bubbling below the surface. Like when you keep failing a level in a computer game and keep trying over and over again. It feels like that, but not like I'm consciously doing that. More like it's happening in the background of my mind.

TW physical abuse, body memories

T said that when you keep getting the same flashback, it's likely trying to be heard. But I think I know this memory inside and out. Yesterday I suddenly got bruises fitting with the memory, so that is a bit intense - but I swear I don't need to get bruises to know what it felt like! (Just for those parts in the back).

I know the whole sequence. The texture of the chair. How warm it was in the house. My burning cheeks. The screaming and my crying. The cold floor. Grasping anything I could. The burn marks from being dragged across the floor. The pain of bumping into the side of the door. The hand on my arm. The duplo I had been playing with. How he made sure to close the door behind us. The stern talk about how I was going to have to feel it. - The hitting part is surprisingly blank. - Then back at the table. How everyone looked away. How I still could not eat.

How I forgot this ever happened, until I remembered when I was 10 - when Mae was the main ANP.

She drew the memory using numbers instead of normal lines. All the doors have numbers. The fingers of the hand that dragged me away. (The endlessly big painting that was randomly generated using colour numbers, but I probably can't have known about that back then).

I don't think he said anything while hitting me, but maybe I counted it to myself. Because while drawing I kept hearing counting and then I remembered that nero was originally called zero. Like he started existing right before.

But that feels so, so, so fake. Like I'm just trying to make up a story that fits. Like when you find something in your pocket and you tell yourself what probably happened, but maybe something else happened entirely.

I don't know why this memory keeps coming up. Maybe it's because the physical aspect makes it count as "real abuse" in my head, especially back when we had no idea of the impact of neglect (looking at you, Mae). Maybe it's also because I haven't fully accepted and felt the fear in it.

The fear and anger, because I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong. And I wasn't trying to be bad. The sun and the heat were massively overstimulating, and then I also had to eat food that felt like it was going to kill me because it was so intense. I refused to eat. And then my dad dragged me away amd hurt me, because I refused.

I was only three or four. My little brother didn't exist yet. It was one of the first dinners with my stepmum.

I think that objectively the memory is not that bad. But I guess it's the message that spoke to me - that I wasn't safe, wasn't going to be protected, wasn't going to be understood or comforted. Was alone. That no matter how much I fought to protect myself, that wasn't always going to work. I was a bad kid. I made them do it to me.

Zero is a good name. Right before. The body and mind try to protect itself. Right that moment, I encapsulated all of my father's shame. The intergenerational trauma and his inner child.

"You beat it in me, that part of you // but I'm going to split us back in two." (Elliott Smith - 2:45 AM).

I still feel the shame and maybe that's why it keeps coming back. The shame and the rage and the internal conflict of being good vs. bad. It is such a strong drive for repetition, for trying to solve the conflict somehow. I still feel that same fear from back then whenever I have contact with my family now. Even when it's only a small memory in everything that happened.

I still don't know how to process it.

[hauntedbythefanficsofmypast]

Magic Marinette

Marinette is Zatanna's older cousin and can practice magic herself. Her magic is different however. For most low level spells she simply has to think of what the spell is intended for. For a harder spell she needs to chant much like Zatanna.

Marinette practices at home with her Uncle Zatara occasionally visiting with Zatanna. Magic comes naturally to Marinette, she likes to claim that it just flows in and out of her.

Marinette is 13 (Zatanna is only 6) when she becomes Ladybug, her magic and Tikki's combining flawlessly. The two are a magical power house, so much so that Marinette has to lock her aura down so that she'll only appear as a low level mage. Zatara is proud of his niece for becoming a hero, although he isn't exactly pleased, he knows better than to mess with the Kwami.

He is there for her every step of the way only a call away. When Marinette's friends turn against her and she ends up with only four left  he and Zatanna are there to comfort her. When her parents start feeding into the lies he is incredibly angry. Especially when he sees the broken look on his beloved nieces face. Zatara is quick to suggest he take complete custody over Marinette, her parents agree and sign away their rights.

Zatara helps Marinette pack her things and moves her into an apartment in Paris. Until Marinette is 18 he'll be spending the majority of his time in Paris with her. Zatanna grows up beside Marinette looking up to her as a big sister. Marinette lives up to that roll always spoiling Zatanna. 

When Marinette becomes Guardian Zatara helps her navigate how to deal with her new responsibilities. A few weeks later when she shows up hand in hand with a blonde boy, he recognizes him immediately. After a quick shovel talk Adrien is practically adopted into the family. His and Marinette's relationship blossomed beautifully. 

Zatara has Marinette transferred out of her current class and Adrien follows her. The two are barely separate from each other, but when they are their former classmates take advantage of it. Marinette is constantly watching her back when she is alone. Especially when Bustier's class fails to make all their fundraising goals, Marinette can feel them glaring at her.

The class takes turns finding ways to bully Marinette. Alya posts embarrassing pictures of her, Rose tells everyone stories of her trying to get Adrien's attention calling her terrible names. Alix and Nathaniel kick her out of the Art Club. Kim and Alix push her around in the halls and so on. With Lila acting as the innocent bystander.

The class becomes more and more toxic towards themselves and others. This results in the entire school avoiding them, they however blame Marinette for everything. Even though she hasn't thought of them except for when they're bullying her.

Marinette is pissed when Bunnyx comes back from the future and takes the Bunny Miraculous from her. She immediately gives it to her younger self. Now Ladybug and Chat Noir have to work around an untrained liability.

When Marinette is 18 Zatanna is 11.

During their final year Adrien proposes to Marinette after asking Zatara's permission. Marinette agrees to marry him amd the wedding is set for the summer after they graduate.

The wedding never comes. After they graduate they face off with Hawkmoth and Mayura in one final battle. They had defeated Mayura and Chat was about to take Hawkmoth's Miraculous when Bunnyx showed up. She uses Burrow and endes up knocking Chat into an unknown part of time. Everything is silent as Ladybug stares at the space her partner had been in waiting for him to show up. When no one arrives a heartbreaking scream tears through her. All of Paris watches their last hero break down crying, with a burst of rage she defeats Hawkmoth unmasking him. Then charges Bunnyx using her magic to take her down.

Kcol reh ni ecalp htiw ton a elgnis hctiwt!!

Lock her in place with not a single twitch!!

Bunnyx is frozen as Ladybug rips her Miraculous away de-transforming her. She glares at her through her tears, before telling her that she was never meant to be a hero.

Ladybug then leaves with all the Miraculous except for Plagg.

Marinette de-transforms in her room, tears falling as she stares despondently at the ground. Before she utters a simple incantation releasing Alix from where she was frozen.

Cogam sesaeler eht eno I evah dnuob.

Magic releases the one I have bound.

Marinette remains there only moving when Zatanna comes in and sits on her lap. Marinette sniffles hugging her tightly, crying while Zatanna comforts her, crying softly as well.

The next day they are visited by an elderly old man with a kind smile. He introduces himself as Alfred Pennyworth. A mischievous smile crosses his face as he makes eye contact with Marinette.

Alfred-I didn't always go by that though. The love of my life used to call me kitty.

Marinette-Adrien?

Alfred simply smiled sadly nodding before telling her that she cannot go get him.

Alfred- I was sent back so long ago. When you never came I began to make a life for myself. I joined MI-16 and was adopted into a family. Became a butler and was loyal to the Wayne family. I had a son in all but blood, his name is Bruce. It's funny Bugaboo, he has the same black hair and blue eyes as you. Some nights I would pretend that he was our child. Marinette I love you but my life as Alfred Pennyworth cannot be removed from history. This is why I am asking you to move on, find love again.

Marinette sobs softly into his shoulder telling him that she'll do her best. Alfred smiles before pulling out a familiar ring placing it in her hand. Before telling Plagg that he better keep his Princess safe. Marinette giggles softly kissing him on his cheek.

Marinette- Keep in touch please Adrien, I can't live without you at least in my life.

Alfred nods kissing Marinette's hands gently before bidding all three of them goodbye.

Marinette continues on with her life but she doesn't fall in love again. She knows in her heart thay the only one for her was Adrien. Marinette becomes a famous fashion designer by day and Mari by night. She begins training Zatanna along with Zatara. Helping stop bag guys with  simple spells. When Zatanna is 15 she encourages Zatara to let her hang out with the Young Justice team and be a part of it. She happily spies through a seeing glass to see their first meeting. Marinette giggles when her cousin takes an instant liking to the young boy wonder. She smiles softly at the picture of the boy knowing that he was Alfred's honorary grandson.

A few weeks later Marinette is working to reunite the dimensions. When they make it back she is heartbroken to see her cousin with the Helmet of Fate. Zatara immediately tries to convince him to take him instead but Marinette stops him.

Marinette- Release my cousin and take me instead Nabu.

Nabu-No, you barely show any signs of magic.

Marinette huffs before chanting a reversal incantation on the spell she put in place all those years ago. Her aura fills the area allowing everyone to feel her magic.

Marinette-If you release her you can have me. I just need to do a few things first.

Nabu- Very well.

He released Zatanna, Zatara is quick to hug her before turning to Marinette angry demanding to know why she did that with tears in his eyes. Marinette smiled softly before kissing his cheeks softly then kissing Zatanna's. She summons a pen and paper with an envelope writing out a letter to Alfred. She sealed the envelope before turning to Robin.

Marinette- Please deliver this to Agent A for me little birdie. Tell him Ladybug said it was important.

She pats his head gently before smiling softly at Batman.

Marinette- He thinks of you as his son, but he'll never admit it because he doesn't want to take your father's place. Trust me though, a child can have more than one father. 

She said glancing down at Robin when she said it. She turned away from them looking down at her cousin once again.

Marinette- Zatanna, my dearest cousin. I will be departing soon and with that I need to name the next Guardian. Will you uphold and protect the Kwami to the best of your ability?

As she is speaking, Marinette holds out her hands the Miraculous box and Gilmore appears in them. Zatanna chokes back a sob before nodding.

Zatanna- Ib accept.

Marinette passed her the box smiling gently as Tikki flew out of her coat pocket.

Marinette- This is goodbye Tikki, we made a good team didn't we?

Tikki- We were the best Marinette. 

Tikki and Marinette smile gently, a few tears slipping past as Tikki kissed Marinette's forehead gently.

Marinette- Zatanna, I hear by name you the new holder of the Ladybug Miraculous. Treat her well and she shall bring you everlasting luck.

Marinette unclips her earring, clipping them into Zatanna's ears gently.

Marinette-You will make a fine Ladybug.

Zatanna- I'll be nothing like you.

Marinette- No, you'll be better.

She kissed her forehead gently before turning to Zatara as he pulled her into a tight hug. She sniffled softly hugging back just as tightly. She released him, pushing herself away and closer to Nabu.

Marinette- Please dont blame yourselves. I made this decision not you. Goodbye, I love you.

Marinette turned allowing the helmet to close around her, becoming Doctor Fate.

Upon returning to the Watchtower, Alfred arrived wearing a mask of his own before walking over to his two charges. Robin held the letter out to him shifting nervously.

Robin- Ladybug said it was important.

Alfred's eyes widen as he takes the letter opening it.

Adrien, I'm sorry but I was never able to move on from you. You were and always will by my true love. I'm afraid this is my goodbye, please don't do anything stupid love. You're not as young as you were when we were together. You've raised a good son, I wish I could have been by you the entire time. I love you Adrien. -Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Alfred turned to Zatanna and Zatara as a tear fell. They nodded solemnly soon more tears joined them as he stood there silently. A few moments went by before Alfred dabbed his face gently singing quietly to himself.

Alfred- Miraculous, simply the best, up to the test when things go wrong, Miraculous the luckiest….Im Chat Noir. At night I rule, my ring is charged with energy, my claws are out just watch and see.

Alfred's shoulders shook as he thought of all their time together. He took a deep breath before turning back to Zatanna. 

Alfred- In every letter she wrote she was always so proud of you. She always told me that you were going to be great one day, even better than her. My princess will always be proud of you, take it from your almost cousin.

Zatanna sniffled before snorting and hugging Alfred.

Zatanna-God you got so old and sappy Adrien.

Alfred-Its Alfred now and that's what happens when you get thrown back in time and aged.

He turned to Batman and Robin with a sad smile on his face.

Alfred-I think it's time you both hear of my life before MI-16.

@blackmagicforever

@chocolateherringtacofan

@mythogaychic

[bonsai62]

JJK Episode 19

Guys... I swear every episode gets hella better and better (but for manga readers :(...) starting from the animation!! A lil shout out to the animators!! Please, I think we all appreciate everyone who works at the animation studio to take up their time amd effort into those shots because that don’t look easy at all. And I know all the employees that work there knows that we greatly appreciates them!

Okay! Now, I will comtain manga spoilers in a section in this so if you haven’t read the manga, please, don’t look or just skip, unless you’re into spoilers by all means go for it lol. It’s gonna be the first thing I’m going to talk about!

1. Megumi about to summon his special technique:

I swear that kid was literally about to safirice himself for the sake of saving people. Idk I just had a feeling he was going to summon (you know who manga readers!) but he was stopped twice by Inumaki and Maki. I think they both told him to stop because it’s either because they know he has that special technique or they just don’t want him loosing energy. I’m telling you, you guys are gonna love Megumi more and more throughout the story and how he is as a character/his powers.

2. Inumaki is a badass mf:

If you guys read volume 0, I think even Gojo Sensei praises Inumaki and how strong he is. I think he even mentioned how he was kinda of scared of him too because Inumaki is also thag powerful! Don’t believe my words if they’re exactly what I’m saying but I know that in Vol 0, Inumaki can basically go by himself in missions because again he is powerful. I would love to learn more about his clan and just him because his techniques is one of my favs!

In today’s episode, he was really helpful and powerful. He also was pushing his limits to save his friends from Hanami. He’s okay now!!

3. Megumi & Maki Vs Hanami:

I swear there is something about the zenin’s that is one bad ass clan. Maki and Megumi know how to sync when it comes to battle but that’s because I feel they trained with each other for a long time and they’re use to their fighting skills, plus they’re the same when it comes to fighting: thinking and strategizing. It’s easy to fight along side someone who has the same mindset in the battlefield I feel becasue that’s how I feel when I see Yuji and Aoi, but I’ll get to those two later. Overall, I will say we are defiantly going to see them fight along side each other again!

I swear Maki is Megumi’s favorite cousin 😂 (or whoever tf she is to them! We still need clarification on that lol) I wish I had images of them but I was being picky on which on I wanted and I screenshotted everything 😂

4. Yuji reassuring Megumi + “if you die again, I’ll kill you myself”

These two mf... I swear I love them so much and the trust they have for each other. Yuji, my dude, Megumi is traumatized! The boy just doesn’t want to loose you man! Megumi, also, how you gonna kill Yuji if the boy is dead? But it’s okay, we understand lol!! At least Yuji promised not to die lol so that’s a good thing! And he didn’t!

5. Todo being the best fighting teacher/friend:

They’re relationship just started and they already have that perfect battle sync like Megumi and Maki. Yuji knows how to sync with people who are willing to just go for it and he does the same with Nobara (which I’m excited to see soon) and Nanamin. I love the fact that Todo gives Yuji the hardcore truth about fighting in a battle because Yuji was about to land a black flash but he was so pissed about how hurt Megumi was and what happened to Junpei. Todo noticed and made Yuji snap out of it and if Todo was my teacher best believe I would’ve said “thanks man!”. Plus, he is very patient. I also like when he made Yuji go out on his one and wouldn’t step in until he landed a black flash. Like, who tf does that?! Usually, they would do a double tag but no, this is very different. Yeah, they end up fighting together but Todo gave Yuji time to study and smart when it came to fighting Hanami. Damn man can Todo be my teacher??

But, I do want to say more about being angry in battles. Sometimes, when you’re pissed off especially when fighting, yeah anger plays a big role but it can also make you loose focus because you are focusing on someone and their well being. It hurts to see your friends or family in pain and it gets you angry but at that moment you have to let go and focus on what’s in front of you. That is what Todo is teaching Yuji and he had to tell him a couple of times and remind him that it’s just like that when you are a jujutsu sorcerer. It’s not an easy job whatsoever.

Other than that it was another enjoyable episode. I hope you guys like my reviews and lil thoughts into it because this anime is really in a whole different level when it comes to shounen mangas. It’s different and has a different pace. A very fast pace but it’s still good!

[disasterfandoms]

You Shouldn’t Be Alone || A Seal Team Story

(this is a horrible gif as this has nothing to do with Ray)

Summary: Amelia has a no good, terrible, very bad day; with heartbreaking results.

A/N: My brain wouldn’t shut up last night so it finished this story part of the story. This is a three parter, and it’s part of the ao3 series myself amd @bravo-four-seal-team created. This is set early season 1, before Clay joins the team. It’s mostly Naima, Amelia, and Ashley this chapter, with Trent coming in later.

TW: injuries, hospitals, mention of death, mention of people coding, mentions of health spiraling, implication of miscarriage, mention of grief, mention of pain meds

Taglist: @twentydavid @bravo-four-seal-team @a-kate3 @rebelwrites @chibsytelford @supervalcsi @jayhalsteadfan-2417 @thegirlwhoisalwayswriting @mrsmarvelous1995​ @velvetcardiganbucky​ @itsonautopilot​ @pinkrockstar19​ @galaxysanduniversesinmymind​ @abby-splace​

Amelia was just so, so tired of today.

Everything that could go wrong, did. The morning started with a minor argument with Trent, nothing they couldn’t handle, but still annoying. Then, a rude stranger ran into her, causing their coffee to spill all over her scrubs, resulting in her having to change into surgery scrubs when she got to work. 

Work was an absolute nightmare: back-to-back-to-back codes, rapids, anything that could go wrong did go wrong. She had a patient die, got another, then they died. 

And now she’s a patient in the ER.

Every breath she took included a sharp pain from her broken ribs resisting. Her left arm is in a sling, broken collarbone, apparently; her body littered with massive bruising. Swollen lip, stitches on her right cheek. Massive black eyes, a broken nose that was corrected a few minutes ago. Grade I concussion, so while the best-case scenario, still annoying. Her throat was sore from the hands trying to end her; that’s going to bruise badly later, she noted. The bruises, scratches on her arms will heal; they might be the least irritating injuries she sustained today. Her sore back and bruised pelvis from being slammed against the wall may be the most annoying. Her legs are in surprisingly good shape, a dislocated knee being the only injury that’s worth noting. Nothing came as close as devastating as to why she was bleeding, though. 

She shook her head, wincing as she did. She won’t go there; no one is to know about that one except for her, her medical team, and Trent. Fuck, Trent. He’s going to be devastated, or relieved; she honestly still can’t tell how he felt.

 That injury in itself would garner a lot of pity. She despises pity. Everyone around her was trying to do it, though, from her nurse, Naima, to her coworkers who keep coming down to check on her. She appreciates the concern, she does, but she’s okay; it could have been a lot worse. 

 Needs a new chain for her locket, once again, stupidly annoying. It’s her comfort blanket; it lets her have what’s special to her near her heart at all times. Again, nothing that can’t be fixed, but also stupidly annoying.

Naima threw the curtain back, came into her space, and then closed them to give the two nurses some privacy. 

“Dr. Mann would rather you stay overnight to make sure you’re stable, and that way Dr, Leigh can do the procedure in the morning.” 

Amelia shook her head, then winced again. She really, really needs to stop doing that! “No way in hell, Naima. I’m fine; I just got a little banged up! And I’ll come back in the morning for the procedure.”

Naima sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. God, her friend was stubborn. “Who’ll drive you? That sling stops you from even considering driving yourself.”

“So, you mean to tell me that I can’t drive home?”

 “Amelia Rose Carter! You know better than that. I’ll try to convince Mann to let you go, see if we can arrange a follow-up visit or something in the morning. I’ll call your emergency contact on file, see if they can come to pick you up.”

“No!” Amelia attempted to scream, but her voice still sounds strangled and barely came out above a whisper, “Please don’t call him. He doesn’t need to know, not yet.” Amelia, begging? This is something Naima hasn’t seen from the young nurse. She could swear she saw tears starting to form in the young woman’s eyes, whether from pain or the thoughts racing in her head.

Naima crossed her arms, walking over to lean on the stretcher beside Amelia. “Amelia, is your emergency contact someone you’re afraid of?”

Amelia would have smiled, laughed at the thought, even, had her lip not be swollen, and her throat didn’t feel like fire. “No, Naima. If you looked in my file, you’d see why. He’s just very protective of me, and while I love him more than I thought I could love anyone, his care will feel like suffocation. And now I sadly know what that feels like,” she paused and listened to Naima chuckle. The older nurse then apologized, but Amelia made a motion to stop that; she’s glad someone could laugh at her dark humor. “He’s going to be so pissed about in the morning, though. We were so close to telling everyone that we were-” she stopped, tears welling up in her blackened eyes again, but Naima got the point. She grabbed the battered woman’s uninjured hand and squeezed it in reassurance.

“Okay. So if not him, then who do you want to be called? I know you mentioned a brother?”

“Scott, yeah. He’s out in the field, I think. You wouldn’t want him here. He’d take one look at me and then want the name of the patient who did this and probably threatens to kill them.”

“Okay, so boyfriend and brother are off the list. Anyone else you can think of?”

“Boyfriend’s sister? I don’t know her that well, except for the times I helped take care of her last fall. She’d be able to drive me home, though, at the very least.”

“What’s her name, and do you have her number?”

“Ashley Sawyer, and her number is in my phone,” Amelia pulls up the number and continues to speak while Naima copies it down, “Be warned, she told me she doesn’t like hospitals. You may have to break HIPAA and mention my name for her to answer the second time.”

“Second time?”

“She’ll hang up once you get out that you’re a nurse at St. Samuel’s.” This made both women chuckle. 

“Okay, I’ll go try her cell, just rest for a while, okay? Need some more pain meds before I leave?”

“You know I hate pain medicine, especially morphine. Makes my head fuzzy,” Amelia declined, she definitely didn’t need that if she had to go home to her apartment.

“Okay. I’m gonna go call her, okay?”

“Good luck.”

Little did Naima know, she was going to need it. 

Getting back to the nurses’ station, she talked to the doctor, who agreed to discharge the stubborn nurse as long as Amelia came back to the ER if she was having any complications. While the Dr. worked on getting the discharge ready, Naima called the number she received and waited for a voice on the other end.

“What do you want?” The voice said snappily, clearly irritated by someone calling her.

“Ashley, this is Naima, I am a nurse at St. Samuel’s Ho-“

Click. 

Naima sighed, preparing to call the number again. Amelia at least warned her of this happening. She picked up the phone, dialed the number, and waited for a response. This time, the number went straight to voicemail. “Ms. Sawyer, this is Naima, a nurse at St. Samuel’s Hospital. A significant other of a family member has asked that we call you to come to pick them up when they’re discharged. Please call back at this number, thank you.”

She hung up the phone and hoped that Ashley would hear the message before too long. 

Within half an hour, the same phone rang again, Naima picked up the phone and answered, “St. Samuel’s ER this Naima speaking, how can I help you?”

“You called this number a half-hour ago?” “Is this Ms. Sawyer?” “Who else would it be?” “Ms. Sawyer, this is a hospital and this isn’t my personal phone here. I’m asking for clarification, as there are about 10 phone calls per hour on this phone alone.” “You called me for a reason, snap to it.” “Yes, your brother’s girlfriend, Amelia, has asked me to call on her behalf for you to come to pick her up upon discharge,” “Shit. Is she okay, and why me?” “She’s been injured fairly well, with several bruises, several broken bones, and a dislocated knee. The doctor asked she stay for tonight, but Ms. Carter is refusing. She requested you, claiming your brother would be ‘too suffocating’”

Naima heard the woman laugh on the other end of the phone. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing since it’s clear she’s banged up pretty well. Not wrong about Trent, though.”

Wait. No, that can’t be. Well, shit. Naima pieces together what she knows about her friend’s boyfriend. Oh, she’s so telling her husband about this.

“If you agree to pick her up and take her home, you can come at any time and I’ll come out to the waiting room and bring you back. I must warn you, though, she looks rough and shouldn’t be left alone tonight. She’ll probably ask you to take her apartment to leave her be. Don’t.”

“Shit, is it that bad?” “It’s not great. The concussion she sustained would be the main worry. That and god forbid she fell and no one was there to help her. She’ll need someone to bring her back in the morning, as well, and she’s incredibly stubborn about being able to drive herself,” “She got injured, and you all are going to make her come back to work the next day?” “What? No, ma’am, she has a procedure unrelated to her injury in the morning, and claims she’ll come in and do it outpatient instead of staying,” “She’s as stubborn as the rest of us, damn,” she paused, sighing into the phone, “I’ll be there in 30 minutes.”

“Okay. Let the front desk know to alert me when you’ve arrived and I’ll bring you to her. Thank you, Ms. Sawyer.”

Click. 

Sighing, Naima went back to filling out the paperwork, figuring out how or when she’ll confront her friend about dating someone on her husband’s team. For now, she’ll finish the paperwork on another patient, waiting for Trent’s sister to arrive.

[bl597]

🍒- heyy:) i’m a gryffindor(she/her), i’m bi, i really like reading, playing guitar, hanging out with my friends, watching movies/tv shows... i consider myself a very creative person and very energetic(?), i’m always up to do something and i love exploring new things and going on adventures! thank u!! and congrats on ur 300 followers i’m so happy for youuu

hey sweetheart, hope you enjoy it!! thank you so much, your support means a lot to me🥺💖

warnings: none, just fluff?? this one is kinda big oopsie, this isn't reviewed bc im lazy, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes!

my masterlist ♡ join my sleepover!

I ship you with... Harry Potter!

you and Harry have quite a taste for getting in trouble

not really getting in trouble, just going on adventures and ending up getting in trouble

its as if you two had a magnetic for trouble inside of you

and that was how you actually met

you grew up hearing about the boy who lived

and how he defeated you-know-who when he was just a one year old baby

and how he brought peace and safety to the wizard world

it was impossible not to know who Harry Potter was

in your first year, the only thing you could hear about on the train were rumors that Harry was entering Hogwarts this year

and everyone was like mERLIN'S BEARD!!! ITS HARRY POTTER!!

and a lot of people were not so discretely pointing at the dark haired boy

or better, at his scar

the oh so famous scar

and you could cleary see how uncomfortable he was with all the sudden attention he was getting

so you decided to let him breath instead of observe his every more just like almost everyone was doing

anyways

you got sorted into Gryffindor!!

and you were so happy bc almost your whole family was from that house

and it was just so exciting!!!

Harry was a Gryffindor too and although you were housemates, you didn't really talk to each other

though you always knew what happened to him bc the news at Hogwarts spread faster than anything

ok so you officially met each other in potions detention:D

you didn't really do anything but Snape just doesn't like Gryffindors

or kids

or people in general

so you had to go to the dungeons after dinner

and when you entered the classroom, you actually thought you were in a regular class bc there were a lot of students?????

you recognized some familiar faces like Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, the Weasley Twins, Lee Jordan and Harry Potter and two Ravenclaw girls

you suppressed a laugh when you walked past Snape and saw his expression

and then you sat down on the only available place: right by Harry's side

you two made some small talks every now and then and quietly laughed at Snape

and after that night you two became friends :D

the next morning when you were having breakfast at the Great Hall

Harry shyly approached you and you two started talking

qne then he introduced you to his best friends: Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger

you befriended them too yay

okay

so you and Harry always hang out together sometimes

and after a year or two of you two just spending time together

Harry started realising that his feelings for you weren't platonic anymore, he saw you as 'something else'

and he got really awkward (yeah, more than he already is)

and you immediately noticed it bc like???? the boy could barely stay in the same room as you without looking like a tomato and saying the most random things ever???

and you tried to convince yourself it was just something random like puberty idk

because you may or may not had feelings for the awkward boy too

but you didn't want to think about it because you didn't want to feed your hopes bc c'mon

it's Harry Potter, the boy who lived, the youngest seeker of the century

why would he want someone like you?

bc you're amazing and you're the sweetest and a fantastic person who deserves all the love in the world pls don't doubt yourself

and Ron and Mione were so done with you and Harry being so oblivious

so they set up a plan to get you two to confess to each other

it worked and you're now dating :D

Harry always supports you, no matter what

but he wouldn't want you to get involved in the adventures he gets himself into bc they're too dangerous and he would never want you to get hurt especially bc of him :(

he loves it when you read to him while you cuddle in the common room (hes the small spoon and thats it thats a canon)

he also adores to watch you play guitar because omg you're amazing

he always listens to whatever you're talkinf about with a silly smile on his face

because you talk about it with such admiration and with such a beautiful, wide smile that it makes his heart beat like crazy

he's very shy and whenever you held his hand or kissed his cheeks/lips he would be like ohmygODSJDBDOSJDJSKSHDKDLSJDKD inside

which is adorable :((

this little bean is head over heels for you

you two always go on adventures together

and sometimes walk around the castle at night just to have some fun

Filch once almost caught you two lol

and you are the cutest couple in Hogwarts

ugh Harry is so sweet

this got enormous????? sorry kzkdjdkdk

~

I ship you with... James Potter!

you and James boy are the Hogwarts' troublemaker couple™

and everyone knows you two

because you and the boys are always pulling pranks and getting detention

Filch hates you lol

ok so you two actually went on your first because of a sily bet you made to see who pulled the best prank:

if you won, he would do all your homework for a few weeks

and if he won, you'd go on a date with him

guess who won :D

you accepted it as a joke

not really expecting it to turn into something else

but turns out you had a great time together!!

it was a Hogsmead trip so you went to almost every shop there

and he bought you a lot of candies despite you telling him he didn't need to

anyways

after that date, you both agreed on going out together more times

just to see what could happen

and it went perfectly fine

so you started dating :D

you are the cheesiest couple Hogwarts has ever seen

he loves pda

he's always holding your hand, hugging you or kissing you

no matter where you are

James is a very sweet and caring boyfriend

and he always supports you and your decisions

and he would never

i said never

pressure you to do something you don't want to or that you're uncomfortable with

he's a gentleman and wants you to be comfortable around him

you and the boys always hang out together bc you are besties™

you and James use his invisibility cloak to sneak into the kitchen in the middle of the night

or to go to the Astronomy Tower for a midnight date

you're always cheering for him during quiddich games

and you proudly scream at everyone around you that that boy with messy dark hair amd wearing glasses flying right up there was you boyfriend

because you're so proud of him:(

he loves it when you read to him

because your voice is so angelic and every word that leaves your mouth is like a song to him

he loves it when you play guitar because you're so talented and he thinks you're so perfect

and he's so in love with you

he'd do anything to make sure you're happy and alright

and he always makes sure that you're getting the right amount of food and sleep that you need

he always tells you jokes because you laugh so hard at them

and your laugh is the most beautiful and precious thing he's ever witnessed

James would do anything for you

i'm not even joking

the little shit would throw himself from the Astronomy tower if you ever asked him to

he gladly never did it because you're not crazy to tell the kid to literally kill himself right plis dont do it

anywAys

James Potter is the best boyfriend someone could ask for

change my mind about it💅

i think I'll stop here

it got way much shorter than Harry's bc i got a little too excited while writing it but yeah whatever jsjskdjdkd