#and to make sure the portraits were extra-realistic

[merryfortune]

Propeller Sprout

Title: Propeller Sprout

Ship: Zinniashipping | Aoi/Miyu

Fandom: yu-Gi-Oh! Vrains

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,254

Tags: Fluff, Flirting, Established Relationship

   “So cute…” Miyu mumbled to herself as she scribbled in her notebook.

   Aoi’s ears pricked up whilst she read a novel from the other end of the lounge. She felt Miyu squirm, her toes scrunched up and brushed up against Aoi. It wasn’t a very big lounge. Not when Miyu was sitting in one of end of it and basically laid out over it.

   “What’s cute?” Aoi asked.

   “You are.” Miyu flirted and poked out her tongue.

   Ever easy to fluster, Aoi felt her cheeks turn a rose pink.

   “You are!” Miyu insisted. How could she not as her girlfriend looked even more adorable than she did before?

   “Am not.” Aoi denied, though it was pointless to.

   “Are too.” Miyu continued to banter. “And,” she added, she began to get up, her chest all puffed out as she happily debuted her trump card, “I have proof.”

   “Alright, then, let’s see it.” Aoi replied.

   Exactly what Miyu wanted to hear.

   She really wanted to show Aoi what she was working on.

   Back at her school, Miyu was quite well known through a few of the different faculties over there. In the sports faculty, she was known for being a shark in the water. She was a swift and strong swimmer, the star of the swim club with many accolades conjoined to her name.

   Then in the arts department, she was also known for her talent and craft with a pen and paper. She was quite diverse when it came to what she was able to draw. Everyone in her classes knew that she could draw the cutest little anime characters or the creepiest portraits. Sometimes even both at once. She wasn’t good at non-character related mediums but she would give anything a crack once. Watercolours, acrylics, clay, it didn’t matter. Miyu loved to get creative.

   Though, conversely, she was known through the other departments of the school - like science, language, history, and mathematics, for example - for being an awful student. Flaky and undisciplined, rubbish at logic and recollection but shhh. This isn’t about the grades that Miyu was failing but rather the ones she was good at.

   Like art.

   “Tada.” Miyu said as she sat up, legs tucked under her like an eccentric genius detective from a certain supernatural-mystery anime, and flipped her notebook around so she could show Aoi her latest drawing.

   It was just a sketch. Nothing too serious, pfft. It wasn’t half bad. 

   But Aoi’s jaw dropped as she felt as though she were looking into a black and white photograph of… herself. The portrait was gorgeous, thin lead lines which overlapped here and there but that just added charm to the shading, all to make a somewhat realistic portrait of her: Zaizen Aoi.

   “Wow, Miyu, this is… oh my gosh.” Aoi stammered.

   “Aww, I’m gonna get a big head if you keep that up, ma’am.” Miyu smugly replied, like she wasn’t rolling around in glee on the inside.

   “No, really, thank you, I think its lovely, I hope you’re happy with it.” Aoi replied.

   “Oh, I am.” Miyu said.

   Aoi laughed. There was the lack of humbleness that she had been expecting.

   “Do you know what my favourite part of it is?” Miyu asked. 

   “Er, um…” Aoi erred as she was put on the spot.

   “C’mon, guess. It’s easy, I swear. Anyone could tell, I think.” Miyu egged her on.

   “Alright then.” Aoi replied.

   Miyu made sure she held her notebook steady so Aoi could get an extra good look at the drawing. Her eyes scanned left to right then up and down. She held her breath as she began her assessment.

   Was it her fringe? It looked so fluffy with just the suggestion of linework and some fuzzy shading. Or maybe her cheekbones? Miyu had rubbed out the lines there multiple times to get the curvature right, Aoi could tell from the eraser work but maybe she wasn’t that happy with it if it took multiple tries. It could even be her lips. That would make sense. Miyu had drawn them extra stylistically kissable, Aoi would think anyway but then of course.

   The delight of every artist, surely.

   “My eyes.” Aoi finally guessed.

   Miyu made a buzzer noise then chirped, “Nope. Close though.”

   “I see…” Aoi murmured as her brows furrowed together. She continued to study the portrait.

   Though that made Miyu impatient. She had been totally certain Aoi would guess correctly on the first try. 

   “Aww, come on, it's totally your charm point.” Miyu gave a hint.

   Aoi stared for another three seconds and then her shoulders slumped, “I give up.” she said with a defeatist sigh.

   “Your propeller sprout, duh!” Miyu said.

   “My what?” Aoi snorted quizzically.

   “Your propeller sprout!” Miyu repeated herself to little recognition.

   Aoi’s lack of response continued to be lacklustre. So Miyu sighed and with startling precision, for not being able to see her own drawing, she pointed on the picture of Aoi she had drawn what Aoi’s “propeller sprout” was: the little pokey-outie bit at the back of her hair. The bane of her morning hair care routine.

   “Ohhh…” Aoi said. “I call it my cowlick.”

   “Well it's very cute whatever it is.” Miyu replied snidely.

   Aoi laughed.

   “It is.” Miyu affirmed.

   “It's so annoying though, it never sticks down when I want it to! So many school picture days ruined by it…” Aoi complained.

   Miyu gasped dramatically, “How dare! It’s your charm point, or so says me.” 

   Miyu’s antics continued to make Aoi smile and laugh. A bit harder now to consider it an annoyance now, she supposed. But the point, already well and truly made by now, was still not made enough in Miyu’s eyes as she scooted in closer to her girlfriend, putting away her notebook.

   “It’s so cute and fluffy, see?” Miyu said.

   She reached out and Aoi’s heart skipped a beat. Miyu toyed with the so-called propeller sprout at the back of her head, proving just how fluffy - and bouncy - it was. With just a stroke of her pointer finger, Miyu had it swaying side to side.

  “Okay… it's a little cute.” Aoi grumbled.

   “Told you.” Miyu said.

   But instead of fully retreating her hand, she ran it through the rest of Aoi’s hair. It was soft and, well, fluffy. Her bob-cut slowly growing out, she wanted it to be long again, sort of like when she was a tiny tot again. Miyu smiled as she caressed Aoi’s cheek, though with clumps of Aoi’s hair through her fingers.

   “Are your fingers stuck…?” Aoi asked, embarrassed.

   “Ah, no, just thinking about how, well, all of you is cute. I shouldn’t limit your cuteness to just one charm point.” Miyu replied.

   Aoi’s face went strawberry red. Miyu’s words were so sweet and earnest, it was hard to consider them flirting. She just said whatever she was thinking. She was that kind of person, free and open as a book. 

   “You are so shameless.” Aoi squealed.

   “I can’t help myself.” Miyu giggled.

   Though she did let go of Aoi’s hair and picked up her notebook again. She had some more ideas on how to draw Aoi now. Though, she didn’t retreat into her end of the lounge, instead she changed how she sat and snuggled into Aoi’s side. Aoi let her and placed her arm over Miyu’s neck and shoulders. She could probably read with just one hand so long as she was clever.

   Meanwhile, Miyu began to draw some cartoony takes on Aoi’s physical appearance and her cute propeller sprout.

[spacenutspod]

The Starliner spacecraft on NASA’s Boeing Crew Flight Test is pictured docked to the Harmony module’s forward port as the International Space Station orbited 263 miles above the Mediterranean Sea. Image: NASA. NASA and Boeing managers have again decided to extend the Starliner crew capsule’s stay at the International Space Station, passing up a June 26 re-entry to allow more time for analysis and testing to make sure helium leaks and thruster failures are fully understood, officials said late Friday. NASA plans to hold a formal re-entry readiness review before setting a new landing target date. Given the on-going analysis, the Starliner’s undocking and return to Earth likely will slip past two already planned space station spacewalks on Monday and July 2. In the meantime, Starliner commander Barry “Butch” Wilmore and co-pilot Sunita Williams are still cleared to undock and fly home at any time if a station malfunction or other issue crops up that requires a quick departure. As such, officials say they are not stranded in space. “We are taking our time and following our standard mission management team process,” Steve Stich, manager of NASA’s Commercial Crew Program, said in a statement. “We are letting the data drive our decision making relative to managing the small helium system leaks and thruster performance we observed during rendezvous and docking.” In addition, he said, given the extended duration of the Starliner mission “it is appropriate for us to complete an agency-level review, similar to what was done ahead of the NASA’s SpaceX Demo-2 return after two months on orbit, to document the agency’s formal acceptance on proceeding as planned.” NASA’s Boeing Crew Flight Test astronauts (from top) Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams pose for a portrait inside the vestibule between the forward port on the International Space Station’s Harmony module and Boeing’s Starliner spacecraft. Image: NASA He was referring to the first flight of astronauts aboard SpaceX’s Crew Dragon ferry ship in 2020. But the Demo-2 mission did not experience problems like the ones noted so far in the Starliner’s first piloted test flight. The issue for Starliner troubleshooters is that the helium leakage and the thrusters in question are located in the Starliner’s drum-shaped service module, which is attached to the base of the crew capsule. The service module is jettisoned prior to re-entry and burns up in the atmosphere. Given that engineers will not be able to examine the actual hardware after the fact, NASA and Boeing managers want to give them as much time as possible to review telemetry, to continue testing and to polish contingency scenarios in case additional problems show up after undocking. They also want to learn as much as possible about what might be needed to prevent similar problems in downstream flights. NASA managers were hoping to certify the Starliner for operational crew rotation flights to the ISS starting early next year, but it’s not yet clear if that’s remains a realistic goal. In any case, Stich said the Starliner “is performing well in orbit while docked to the space station.” “We are strategically using the extra time to clear a path for some critical station activities while completing readiness for Butch and Suni’s return on Starliner and gaining valuable insight into the system upgrades we will want to make for post-certification missions.” Already running four years behind schedule, the Starliner was launched June 5, a month later than planned due to minor problems with its Atlas 5 rocket, trouble with a countdown computer and because of an initial helium leak in the system used to pressurize the capsule’s thrusters. NASA and Boeing managers decided the leak was too small to pose a safety threat and the ship was cleared for launch. Once in orbit and on the way to the space station, however, four more helium leaks developed and the Starliner’s flight computer took seven maneuvering jets off line when the telemetry did not match pre-launch expectations. One thruster was deemed unusable going forward, but the others were successfully test fired last Saturday. That “hot-fire” test gave engineers confidence the jets needed for post-undocking maneuvers and the critical de-orbit “burn” will work as needed to drop the ship out of orbit for re-entry. Likewise, officials said they were confident the helium leaks could be managed even if one or more gets worse after undocking. Only seven hours of helium is needed for the return to Earth and the Starliner has more than 10 times that amount left on board.

[moonrevolutions]

Tell us about Vi's emotional relationship with his art. Does he feel like it's an extension or expression of himself? Once it's out there, is it still part of him?

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ @starfoam this shit got long for no reason.

virote paints from life solely for the sake of preserving it. he's never really been one to make art that deviates from the realistic or to say something like. super deep about himself... always nature based, too. or, cityscapes. objects. things. if other people are involved, he keeps their details purposefully vague. while he can paint, like... people... he just doesn't. he's only painted / sketched a self-portrait of himself like three times in his 20-something years of learning and mastering his craft? anyway, virote is struck by the beauty of things around him sometimes... when the clouds are washed extra orange over the golden gate bridge or a certain bouquet of flowers in the display of a shop. he'll take a picture and use it as a reference, every time.

and i guess art for him is less about expression of the self.... and more about reminding himself of a moment where something particular moved him to the point of immortalizing it, but through his own pov. like sure... other ppl on the streets of san francisco were looking at the same clouds, but the way he paints them make the experience completely unique to him. virote has a lot of little drawings from his trips around the world. he'll go to portugal and see the architecture in porto and he will have to draw it. or go to japan and challenge himself to snapshot passing scenery while hes on the train so that he can commit it to paper.

you know, i figure this stemmed from the fact that he wasn't much of a talker when he was a little kid. he'd visit his aunt and she'd ask him what he wanted to eat, and he'd just draw dumplings or chicken. asked him where he wanted to go next, he'd doodle something that resembled a park.

this art ofc is always still with him. he'll dig out something he painted like 12 years ago and be like ' i remember exactly where i was when the trees back on my grandparents farm looked like this, i was 2 miles down the road on my bike. '

so it's an extension of how he views the world around him... the tl;dr... lol.

his art style is drawn from post-impressionism, it lends well to what he chooses to paint.

now when it comes to other things like origami or metal sculptures or when he occasionally dabbles in clay, he'll get more abstract there. that's where his art looks like delightful, weird nonsense...!

[jacobscharacter]

Design and render a Character of my own idea. (part 2)

I then started working with fills and greyscale to create visual weight. I did this multiple times using tools such as 'Wand' & 'expand' to explore the value ideas that we had learnt about. At the start of the grey scaling process I also used the actions tab to create a new shortcut key for the modify tool as I was using it quite a lot.

I had previously thought that I really liked my first version of grey scaling and that my version with the black hoodie was my least favourite. But after looking at them side by side I felt they black one told a way better story and gave me some ideas. The main one being that I would like to have the rest of the image involve this 'Aangs brother' character being captured by the fire kingdom. I then moved onto colouring my character. I achieved this by clicking on the layers I had already coloured with grey scale and selecting the brightness with the eyedropper. Following this just changing the hue and saturation sliders to still keep the base idea of value and contrast that I crated in my greyscale renditions.

I then removed the black our lines on areas I thought they were unneeded such as the eyes and arrows on his face. I then went around the edges of these areas to clean up the lines.

I then added some shadows. I did this by creating a new layer and setting the opacity to 30%. I then used the brush tool set to black to draw on my shadows in the correct areas. I would sometimes go outside the lines to make for a cleaner and smoother line. I would then fix this up by using the 'Magic Wand' tool and well as the expand controls to select areas my extra shadows had fallen into and then pressing DELETE on my shadows layer to remove the excess of these lines. Shadows and highlights was one of the things I wanted to focus on with this character. So I made sure to add some realistic shadows similar to ones you would see in a portrait shot of a person. For example the shadow under his chin or the shadows on his hair to give it a little depth.

I then added some highlights. I achieved this by setting my layer mode to screen. Then each time before creating my brush strokes I would eyedropper select the colour I was highlighting. This would mean the screen mode would make a lighter version of this colour appear when using the brush and create the highlights effect. Again Highlights and Shadows were something I wanted to focus and work on. So I put effort into the little details such as the edges of his hair. I also used the opacity brush on a layer below the arrow and eyes and keep the opacity light. I did this to create highlights and a form of 'glow' around these areas and the aspects around them.

I then added a Gradient in the background with some texture. Then some extra highlights to make certain parts of the image stand out. I made the extra highlights red as the backstory is that he has been captured by the fire nation. I also turned down the opacity on these highlights so they seemed like they were coming from the distance. I then added some photo like effects to make the image pop.

REFLECTION: I think I did really well with improving the sketching part. I gained a lot of confidence just through going through the motions and practicing this skill. I probably didn't achieve what I wanted in creating a good pose. This is something i'll have to improve on in future illustrations. I think I achieved what I wanted with the shadows and highlights. I added some nice detail and I think it looked real cool with the second light source coming from the arrow and eyes and the way these feature highlight the aspects around them.

[fireemblems24]

Scarlet Blaze Ch 5

Onto Ch 5. Spoilers beneath the cut.

STORY

Edelgard is a master at making enemies lol. But I guess that's what happens when you want to conquer everyone.

Lonato and Rowe being dumbasses lamo. Edelgard, your allies suck. And Lonato's purely motivated by vengeance too. Messing up plans, getting all those people killed.

MAP

New facilities. Batallions and blacksmith. Yesssss.

Also, you know in one of the past battles how Seteth wrecked Petra and Ferdinand? Well, can confirm, that I'm on casual and not classic mode lol. They're still here.

Randolph is so fucking boring.

Poor Petra got the same dialogue she did with Byleth about liking hot over cold. Couldn't they think of anything new for her to say?

SHEZ & HUBERT C SUPPORT

I'm excited for this. Hubert is by far one of my favorite Black Eagles. He's just so unapologetically . . . Hubert.

Wait, I can pick getting jealous of Edelgard, for getting to train with Hubert. 100% this. I love so, so much the more varied answers here.

I love how Hubert's making this huge deal out of a commoner getting the honor to train with Lady Edelgard, like it's some oh so rare present you're lucky to get, but like . . . Dimitri and Dedue? Half the Golden Deer are commoners? It's not so rare as you think, bub, it's just Adrestia lacks any commoners in their route.

I really think Adrestia puts way more importance on rank.

FERDINAND & LINHARDT C SUPPORT

Linhardt's design is very pretty in this game.

Linhardt's a good artist if he can copy it exactly.

Side note, I hate realism in literature. Mark Twain is torture for me.

Ferdinand asked for a portrait. I mean, if I looked like Ferdinand, I wouldn't mind a realistic portrait.

Ferdinand's quite full of himself, lamo, calling himself the personification of nobility. Poor Linhardt.

SIDE BATTLES

Extra quests are basically monster fights? Are they worth it?

"If we were done with you, we'd kill you, not abandon you." Good, old Hubert. He was talking about Shez's powers.

Edelgard's redesign screams anime magic girl princess.

"Did Hubert threaten you? Don't let it get to you." She's really dense, hunh. Most people don't like getting threatened by the second in command.

"Enemy Rodrigue appeared." MY HEART. Noooo. Didn't like fighting him at all.

Petra wants to go on an expedition with me. How could I say no to her? That was a bit underwhelming. All that stuff with the horses just felt a bit like a waste of time.

Only female units challenge. That's interesting. I'm guessing there's a male units only challenge coming along?

I don't want to fight Gustave :(

On a side note, this game really suffers from "I must retreat" syndrome.

MAIN BATTLE

Fog of war. My favorite. /s

LAMO why is it every time someone sides with Edelgard, they're evil? And working with TWSITD? Like Rowe.

I don't like Caspar's hair. It looks like a pincushion.

NOOOOO, Ingrid's here. Nooooo. I refuse to fight her. And I think I heard Jeralt.

Lamo, Lonato died. Gotta restart.

Oh, thank God, Ingrid retreated.

Aww, poor Ashe is upset Lonato betrayed Dimitri. :(

Edelgard "family should never fight family." Girl, you started a fucking war. What did you think would happen? What an ignorant sentiment from someone who takes her actions.

Lonato's a fucking idiot too. "I could not bear to lose another son." Maybe then . . . don't try to kill Rhea because she killed your son when he tried to murder her????

Did Alois abandon his family to join a bunch of mercenaries?

Have to admit, having Byleth be nigh unbeatable really makes the whole "ashen demon" thing seem more legit.

STORY

"This victory will further our conquest." - To anyone still arguing she's not after conquest.

I'm guessing this dialogue between Arval and Shez is going to appear on every route.

Got Ashe, feel weird about it though. Like, I love him, but it feels so, so wrong to take him from the other Blue Lions so far. He's all alone. I'm sure that'll eventually change though.

Go Glouster, hahaha. This is amazing. He was working to wreck the Empire the whole time. Did Edelgard really think people would welcome invasion with open arms?

Edelgard is getting her ass kicked 🤣😂👌

Claude wanting to spare lives. It's not your fault. Edelgard is solely responsible for every death here. Let's not forget who started this.

xxxx

[kassandras-one-braincell]

Eivor x Fem!Reader - Ink Me Up

Oh, what to do when the Norwegian woman tattooing your thigh is insanely attractive, clearly gay, with a criminally good bedside manner?

Warning: about tattooing and obviously needles.

Word count: 4363

Can be found on AO3 here.

Heavily inspired by this post here. The tattoo itself is purely self-indulgent. Eivor is stupidly attractive and it's not fair. (Y/N) replacer safe.

After months of saving and deliberation, the time had come. For the longest time you had dreamed of getting something big, bold and beautiful permanently inked into your skin. Something meaningful. And you wanted someone talented to tattoo it.

Thus, you found yourself scouring the web for reputable tattoo shops, hours upon hours poured into searching artists’ portfolios, hoping that someone was skilled enough at black-and-grey realism within a relatively close radius. If you were going to pay a hefty sum for a tattoo, you wanted it to be perfect. Your desktop was flooded with reference images of sword lilies – the subject of your desired ink – and about a dozen different parlours, tabs whittling down one by one during your search.

The final tab was the website for a slightly pricier shop, but one of the artist’s Instagrams utterly captivated you. Their artwork was extraordinary, the details in their pieces stunning and intricate; you decided investing a little extra cash would be worth it. Eivor Varinsdóttir, handle @wolfkissed_ink. Grinning, you emailed the artist, requesting a consultation.

You explained to the artist during that consultation that you wanted a composition of black-and-grey realistic gladioli on your left thigh. Sword lilies represented strength, after all, and you wanted to commemorate overcoming a difficult part of your life with something gorgeous and symbolic. That and, well, flowers were pretty. Within the week they had responded with a sketch that was beyond what you could have possibly thought up yourself: two stunning, bloomed sprigs of the flower with petals floating either side, lifelike as a monochrome photograph. Smiling ear-to-ear, you booked up your first appointment.

Unbridled excitement led to the time before your appointment soaring by, with you opening up the file of the sketch almost every day. Bringing us to the present: you stood anxiously outside the parlour door, 12:50pm, ten minutes before your scheduled appointment. Sucking in a shaky breath, nerves both good and bad, you stepped inside.

The tattoo shop was sleek, modern and decked wall-to-wall with flash sheets, the small designs varying in style, colour and detail. Everything was spotless, as one would expect, with shining awards dotted about. Just seeing the various trophies did well to quell some of your anxieties, knowing you were in good hands, that you’d end up with a lovely piece on your thigh. A stout man covered neck to foot in swirling Japanese designs manned the front desk, smiling warmly at you, obliterating any stigmas you had heard from older relatives about tattoo culture.

Biting your lip, you made your way to the desk, mustering a nervous smile. As thrilled as you were about getting the tattoo, the whole pain aspect was still rather daunting. “Hey, one o’clock appointment for (Y/N) (L/N)?” You fidgeted with the hem of your shorts while the gentleman checked his desktop.

“With Eivor, right?” he verified. You nodded.

“Sorry I’m a little early—”

“No, not at all! Rather you be early than late,” he chuckled, clearly sensing your worries. His eyes flickered across a clipboard. “She’s not with a client at the moment, so I’ll send you through now, if that’s alright.”

“Sounds good, thank you,” you bade, pulse quickening. Come on, you’ve wanted this for so long, you can’t pussy out now.

The guy asked you to wait by the desk as he ventured down a long corridor, the black paint giving off an ominous vibe that did nothing for your nerves. A few seconds later, he returned, cocking his head for you to follow. Your knuckles were white from gripping the strap of your purse so tightly.

He led you to the room at the end of the hall, holding the glossy black door open for you. “Go easy on her, Eivor, it’s clearly her first,” he called out, flashing you a wink, before letting the door close behind you.

Holy shit.

She was hot.

Eivor was nothing short of a modern day viking. Tall, rippling with muscle, late twenties to early thirties, blond hair strewn into an unruly braid with a strip on the right shaved clean to the flesh, revealing a fucking skull tattoo of a bird…a raven? Her face was stupidly handsome, eyes blue and icy but warm with greeting, a long and gnarly scar cutting into the flesh of her left cheek with a smaller nick protruding from her upper lip. Hell, the nape of her neck was marred with an even more vicious looking scar. She wore a tight black t-shirt that strained around her deliciously grizzled arms, which were adorned with Norse-looking runes and text curving into circles, ink that carried on to her hands and neck. The smile she offered you made you weak in the knees.

“(Y/N), right? I’m Eivor, a pleasure to meet you,” she greeted, voice deep and gravelly, decorated with a rasp that to you sounded like butter. Fuck me, she’s a tall, tall glass of water.

You shook her hand when she extended it to you, marvelling at the patterns and blacked-out bands on her long, thick fingers. Her nails were cut extremely short, confirming the strong lesbian vibe she gave off. “Likewise,” you squeaked, cursing yourself for acting like some bloody schoolgirl.

She sauntered over to her setup, weight carried in her shoulders, consolidating her already intimidatingly attractive butch energy, sanitised her hands and pulled on a clean pair of gloves. “Come on over,” she said, grabbing a disposable razor from a box. “I’ll just need to make sure the area is shaven, if that’s alright.”

“Of course,” you replied, joining her by the leather chair, covered by a sheet of cellophane. It was a relief to see all the hygiene precautions taken in the shop. Eivor picked up a disinfectant wipe.

“Left thigh, if I remember correctly?”

“Mhm, yeah.”

She dropped to one knee – wasn’t that a fucking sight – and wiped down the expanse of your thigh before gliding the razor over the flesh.

Hesitantly, you asked her what the general procedure was, desperately trying to divert your thoughts from the sapphic spiral they were travelling down.

“Alright, after I’ve finished here I’ll apply the stencil. You’ll get to check if you like the placement, and if you don’t I’ll keep going until you’re happy with it. It’s a big piece, so we’ll have to split this up into two sessions, as we discussed alongside payment.” She brushed away the loose hairs and peach fuzz. “I’ll do the linework this session, and the shading next time.” With one final pass of the razor she pulled back, tossing it into a bin.

Eivor then picked up a sheet of thin paper with the sketch printed on it. She plucked a purple pen from her table. “Give me a few minutes to trace the stencil, then we’ll apply it and see how you like it.” You nodded, trying to focus on your breathing.

While she traced over each line of the sketch, she kindly attempted to soothe your fears with small talk. “I’ll admit, I’ve never heard of a ‘gladiolus’ before our consultation. Any reason why you chose it?”

You smiled. “They represent strength. I finally got through a rough spell and wanted something to celebrate with,” you explained, heart skipping a beat at the soft expression on the artist’s face.

“All the more reason to get this perfect then,” she said with a grin. The way the scar on her upper lip quirked was positively adorable. A couple minutes passed and she re-capped the pen. “Stand up straight for me, darling.” Oh.

Cheeks burning with bashfulness, you complied. Eivor took a second to angle the stencil before smoothing it over your thigh, leaving a purple outline once she removed the paper. “Just have a look in that mirror over there and tell me if you’re happy, okay?”

You walked over to the mirror and stared at your thigh. The tattoo was large – which you expected, with the amount of detail in it – and perfectly central, the loose petals appearing to float down the length of your thigh. “Perfect,” you breathed out, giving the woman a thumbs-up.

Eivor switched over her gloves and gestured for you to take a seat on the chair. “Get comfy, then. Do you have water?” Nodding, you took out your water bottle from your handbag. “Brilliant. Still want to do this?”

“Hell yeah.” Weirdly, the nerves about the pain (not about the sexy artist) had almost wholly subsided, leaving you brimming with anticipation.

She poured some jet black ink into small caps, no larger than the tip of your thumb. “Remember to breathe through it and hold still, yeah? You picked a smart place for your first tattoo, not too close to the bone.”

“I’ll try.” Eivor opened a sealed packet containing a new, sterilised needle, inserting it into her tattoo machine. She switched it on, the buzz of the machine’s piston filling the room with a gentle hum. Looking up at you, she cocked her brow – if only your gay thoughts could bugger off for two minutes – as if to ask, ready? Affirmatively, you beamed at her.

Dipping the needle into the ink, she pulled the skin of your thigh taut. Immediately, you noted the warmth of her hand on your leg, fighting off a shudder. Then came a mildly painful scratching sensation as she brought the machine to your thigh.

Honestly? It wasn’t bad. Irritating, like an itchy eye, but not drastically unpleasant. You followed Eivor’s advice, keeping your breathing steady, averting your attention to the artwork on the walls, some of which you had seen on her Instagram portfolio. Portraits, flowers, animals, realistic-looking jewellery…the woman had mastered black-and-grey. You knew you picked the right artist. The frown of concentration on her face spoke volumes about her dedication to the art, steeled and intently focused on the lines she was pulling.

When she wiped the area and reached for more ink, she glanced up at your face. “All good?” she asked.

“Yeah, no issues here.”

“Wonderful.” She set back to work, positioning her needle over the flower’s curved stem, dragging it downwards in a slow arc. “Your skin takes ink like butter, by the way.”

“Oh, that’s good,” you breathed out. Her hand suddenly felt a little warmer. Tell me this woman does audiobooks, you thought.

After a few more lines, you tried to pepper in some small talk without breaking her concentration. Fortunately, her bedside manner was immaculate, and she entertained your questions without any grudges.

“Your voice is really soothing. Where abouts are you from?”

“Oh, thank you. I’m from Norway, moved here a few years back.” She grinned at the compliment. “It’s funny, people usually say the opposite about my voice.” You wondered if they were deaf.

“It’s a nice rasp,” you chuckled. Buzzing stopped, more ink.

“I was bitten by a wolf when I was nine,” she explained. Buzzing recommenced, scratching returned. “My larynx never properly healed from it, so I’ve sounded like some chain-smoker since before I hit double-digits, despite never touching a cigarette in my life.”

“You don’t sound like a chain-smoker, though. I mean it.”

Her grin widened. “That actually means a lot.”

An hour passed by, most of it spent in comfortable silence, with Eivor checking in on you occasionally to see how you were coping. Certain patches of nerves stung a little more than others, but none of it was unbearable. That was until her machine passed over a particularly rough area. It fucking killed, the burn of the needle seemingly deeper than anywhere else, the sting infinitely more intense than before. You hissed, gritting your teeth together.

“Ow,” you winced, clutching onto your water bottle in an attempt to relieve the pain, to no avail.

Eivor continued pulling her line, her rasp coming out in a low mantra. “Just breathe through it, nice and slow…” You tried to follow, attempting in vain to relax your shoulders. “Keep holding still for me…” Your breaths came shallow but steadily so, the stinging slowly becoming more endurable. The machine reached the end of the line. “Good girl,” she muttered, blissfully of absent mind.

Good girl.

Oh fuck.

Just when your clearly gay tattoo artist couldn’t get any hotter, she comes out with some hot-girl bullshit like that. And fuck, you didn’t think you had a praise kink before, but now this certainly awakened something. Why, why did it have to sound so good in her husky voice? No, you were absolutely not going to fantasise about your artist, not when her hands were on your skin, on your thigh of all fucking places. God, this stupidly attractive Norwegian butch was making you uncomfortably hot.

When she finally pulled away, sweet bloody reprieve, you took a sip of your water. “That wasn’t fun,” you remarked.

“Took it like a champion, though,” she beamed proudly, clearly unaware of the affect her words had just had on you. “Need a break?”

“Just a minute or two, thank you,” you sighed with relief. Eivor wiped you down and analysed her work.

“We’re just over halfway there,” she commented. Only halfway? Fuck. You allowed your eyes to wander over the black lines, all perfectly smooth from practiced precision. Yeah, this woman was talented.

“I mean, that killed, and that was my thigh…” you trailed off, making her laugh. “What was the most painful tattoo you’ve gotten?”

Eivor answered without hesitation. “My head, without a doubt. Packing solid black into that thing was agony. My fingers killed, too, but all completely worth it.” You couldn’t help but agree with that last part. Her hands looked extremely good, both with and without those gloves.

“I’m guessing places with more nerve endings and by the bone are the worst, then?”

“Definitely. The palm of the hand is the most sensitive, and it’s tough to get right. Ink bleeds, skin bleeds…and if you don’t do it well it’ll just fade. All that pain for nought.”

You gulped down some more water. Ouch. “Duly noted.”

After ninety odd more minutes, Eivor switched off her machine for good, the linework finished and utterly flawless. “All done for this session,” she announced, changing gloves once more to clean and wrap the area. There was minimal irritation around each line, and the wipe felt wonderfully cool against the reddening flesh.

Once she finished placing various equipment in a tub labelled ‘autoclave’, she escorted you to the front desk. You paid half the decided fee of the tattoo and booked your second session for three weeks’ time. Eivor gave you an aftercare kit, explaining in detail how to keep the tattoo clean, how to prevent infection, and to avoid direct exposure to sunlight as much as you could. Eagerly, you listened, trying to drink in as much of her voice as possible before departing.

“I’ll see you in three weeks, then. Take care, (Y/N),” she grinned. From the moment you stepped out of the shop, you knew that grin would be engraved into your mind for the weeks to come.

  The second appointment couldn’t have come quickly enough.

You spent an embarrassing quantity of time thinking about your dreamy tattoo artist, right up until the day you walked back into the shop, this time free of any concerns pertaining to the tattoo. The gentleman from before recognised you and asked how the tattoo was holding up, if you’d had any issues keeping it clean, to which you replied all was good. Only this time, Eivor came to greet you by the front desk.

“How’s it going?” she asked, welcoming as before.

“Really good. I just hope I’ve been doing everything right,” you chuckled, anxiously glancing down at your thigh. The redness had completely disappeared a few days after your first appointment, the black ink proudly meandering over your skin.

Eivor smiled reassuringly. “Trust me, you’d know if you haven’t. From here it looks like you’ve done a fantastic job of keeping it clean, anyway.” You followed her to her studio, mentally noting how she was wearing an even tighter black t-shirt than last time, the fabric clinging to the defined contours of her muscled back, biceps, abs… Needless to say, the gay thoughts had returned at full-force.

As before, she shaved and disinfected your thigh, but instead of a stencil she had the full greyscale reference images for the design printed and taped to a metal beam above her table. She took careful time in diluting various caps of black ink into a plethora of greys, experience shining through as she added precise amounts of diluter to each cap. There was something addictive about watching the woman work, with how methodical she was, how delicately she handled the bottles of ink.

When she unpacked a needle, you noted the shape was different to before. “Now, some parts are gonna be only a little rougher than before. Others will suck, I’ll warn you now,” she mentioned as you positioned yourself on the chair.

“Mama didn’t raise a bitch,” you joked. Eivor laughed.

“You handled it like a trooper before. I have zero doubts you’ll do the same today.”

And so she began, making multiple passes with the machine unlike before, packing in the different shades of grey in front of her, scratching into the already broken skin. It wasn’t massively painful, but Eivor was right – last time was a breeze in comparison. You rested your eyes and bore the pain, focusing on the faint music playing from the shop’s reception.

As previously, she was ever considerate, checking up on you as she worked – albeit not as frequently, now that you were accustomed to the needles – and encouraging you through the nastier patches. You tried your hardest to not look at your thigh, wanting the final result to be a surprise, but over time it grew increasingly difficult not to sneak a glance at her hands. Merely the thought of them flustered you (pathetic, you knew) and nothing would be more embarrassing than drifting off into a less than appropriate fantasy about the woman when she was simply being professional.

Time blurred together amongst your inner dilemma – to look or not to look – until Eivor’s signature rasp caught your attention. “Time for your least favourite part,” she said, giving you a knowing look, positioning her needle in one of the petals over the area that hurt like a bitch previously.

“Oh god, I forgot about that area.”

“Just own the pain and keep still, alright?”

“I’ll try.”

Eivor smirked: a wicked thing that could have killed every sapphic in a mile radius. “Squirm and I’ll pin you down. I’ve had to do it before, and I’ll do it again.”

That, under different circumstances, would be an appealing notion.

Closing your eyes once more, you tried to decipher the song lyrics resonating through the shop’s hall, grimacing when the needle penetrated the skin. Just focus on Rihanna, focus on Rihanna…

“That’s…not so bad, actually,” you mutter, not entirely self-assured of the words leaving your lips, hoping some placebo affect would take place.

Eivor chuckled, dipping into another shade. “You sound convincing,” she drawled.

“I’m – ow – serious… Okay fuck, that’s way worse.”

“Shh, it’ll be over soon. Find something to focus on.”

So you did, on what happened to be the first thing in your immediate line of sight when you re-opened your eyes: Eivor’s bicep. God, her shirt strained around the muscle, black fabric against tanned skin and the deep green runes littering her arm. Perhaps the ink had something to do with her ancestry, given that the woman said she was Norwegian – that or she was just a mythology nerd. Your eyes trailed over the spirals of script, the perfectly concentric circles. Mind wandering, the idea that she may have tattoos on her back and front piqued your interest. Then came the delightful image of Eivor without a shirt. Pinning you down. Fuck.

Before long the pain subsided, leaving a dull ache where the needle had worked at your skin. “All done, darling,” Eivor murmured, wiping the patch. Darling. You knew it was simply her bedside manner, trying to keep you as relaxed as possible, but damn was it having the polar opposite effect. Cheeks feeling impossibly hot, you unscrewed the cap of your bottle and took a sizeable gulp of water. She gave you a moment to breathe, now that the most difficult part was out of the way. Still flustered, you drained half your bottle.

Concern plastered on her face, Eivor leaned closer, inspecting your face intently. “Are you feeling faint?” she asked, evidently worried. “It’s important you tell me if you are—”

“No, no, I’m fine, really.” You were stuttering, annoyed with yourself that you made her worry. “Just being weird. I promise.”

“You do?” Her eyebrows were still upturned, not entirely believing you.

You nodded frantically. “Yeah, really. Please don’t worry.”

Taking a slow breath, she restarted the machine, relief flashing across her features. She gestured for permission to continue tattooing, which you granted, and set back to work.

Cursing internally, you let your eyes flutter shut, thoughts full of nothing but ‘good girls’ and ‘darlings’ in a husky Norwegian accent. Numbing yourself to the needles, you drifted off into slumber.

  “Hey, (Y/N)?”

A gentle pressure squeezed at your hand, slowly stirring you, bringing you back to the world of the living. Yawning, you opened your eyes, gaze brought to a gloved hand atop your own.

“Good evening,” Eivor said, retracting her hand and watching as you gasped and scanned the studio for a clock in a panic. Evening?

“Kidding,” she laughed. “I finished up ten minutes ago.” You shot her a half-hearted glare through sleepy eyelids.

“That was mean,” you pouted. She grinned.

“I do stab people for a living.”

Snorting, you swung your legs over the side of the chair, stretching them to regain a semblance of sensation. Chest pounding with excitement, you looked to the mirror at the side of the room, then at Eivor, silently asking permission to peak at the finished tattoo. She held out her hand in gesticulation.

Giddy with anticipation, you walked over and… Holy shit.

It was beautiful.

Each shade of grey blended into one another in a perfect harmony, so seamlessly that the black outline from before was barely visible. The shadows underneath each leaf, each petal looked real. Every speckle and wrinkle on the petals shone through, love and attention going into every marking. The falling petals were akin to a photograph, with the light grey background wash tying them to the main flowers, each little shadow appearing to give them different depths. It was beyond anything you imagined. All that pain, mental and physical, turned into a lifetime of beauty.

You didn’t realise you were crying until the salt of tears rolled into your awe-parted mouth.

“I’m, well… Wow.” Beaming, you turned to face your artist, who looked at her artwork with pride. “Thank you, Eivor. Thank you so much.”

She shook her head and offered you a box of tissues, from which you took one gladly. “I’m just honoured to have helped you lay that chapter of your life to rest. May the sword-lilies battle any shreds of it that remain.”

Stunned by her poetic inclination, you dried your eyes in silence, lips curved into a joyous smile. Meanwhile, she removed her gloves.

“You have tissues at the ready. I’m guessing people cry a lot here?” you asked, finally prying your eyes away from the masterpiece on your thigh.

“Mostly from the pain,” she remarked.

“You know, you could just lie to me so I don’t feel like such a fucking sap.”

The sound that left Eivor’s mouth in response was nothing if not angelic. She practically howled in hearty laughter, echoing through her studio, her eyes crinkling at the corners. You didn’t think it possible for your grin to widen further still, but her outburst was contagious in the best way.

“I’m glad you’re happy with it. Truly,” she breathed out, chest stilling from her fit.

“It’s beautiful. Happy is an understatement.”

Eivor made her way over to the desk in the corner of the studio, where a graphics tablet lay alongside a stylus. “Now, before I dress it, I’m legally required to ask you if I have permission to photograph the tattoo for advertisement purposes. I appreciate it’s a personal subject matter and completely understand if—”

“Go for it,” you shrugged.

“Are you certain?” You nodded.

“Of course. It’s a work of art.” The smile she gave you was genuine.

“This’ll only take a minute. Thank you, really.”

She knelt down and snapped a picture with the tablet, checking the quality. “All done.” Eivor then proceeded to sanitise her hands and slip on one last pair of gloves, grabbing the wipes and plastic wrap from her station. “The photo will be uploaded to the shop’s website and my professional Instagram, if that’s alright with you. Completely anonymous, of course.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Although, it’ll be weird seeing my leg on my feed.” She chuckled.

“Feel free to email or DM if you have any concerns with the healing.” Patting your leg, she stood up to her full height, placing her gloves in a biohazard ziplock. “Well, I’m honoured to have given you your first tattoo.”

“Honoured to be your…canvas?”

And just like that, your time with the artist was up. You watched wistfully as she put together an aftercare pack at the front desk, your previously overjoyed expression drifting into a sad one. After paying, you thanked her one final time.

“Take care, søta,” she said with a wink.

The very moment you arrived back home, you whipped out a Norwegian-to-English translator and immediately tried to replicate her pronunciation of the word she called you, blushing profusely when discovering it meant ‘cutie’. And upon opening your cleaning pack, you found an addition that wasn’t present in your previous bundle:

A small slip of paper. On one side, a mobile number. On the other, in beautifully neat cursive,

I’d love to take you to dinner. Text me if you’re interested?

Yours, Eivor

[thornaelle]

CW: Mental health talk, with apologies to everyone who's followed me in the last few months and is (still) not getting the content they expected.

TL;DR I'm struggling with my mental health and have been for A While, currently several months into treatment, things are getting better but art is hard and making art for other people is just not happening right now. If you were on my commission list you should have had an email from me.

I don’t talk about myself much ��or at all, really— but my mental health has been pretty abysmal for a very long time. I started trying to tackle it early this year; I was so exhausted by crying all the time and hating myself and my life that I finally caved and went to the doctor. I'd been trying to for years, but always talked myself out of it for one nonsense reason or another. I never really believed that I deserved help, or that I was bad enough to need it, and particularly in the last couple of hell years I felt like I shouldn’t waste anyone’s time with my sadness when there were so much more important things going on and people with “real” problems were dying. There’s still a bit of me that feels that way.

But that’s probably just extra evidence that I'm depressed.

I've been on medication for several months now and things are still up and down, but slowly getting better. The ups are far more plentiful and the downs are not nearly so low as they were. I’m still struggling with motivation and I'm still really tired, but it's not from crying for hours a day any more. It’s been so long since “normal” that I’m not sure what it looked like on me, but I’m beginning to believe that I might be heading there. I may even have glimpsed it a couple of times.

Art has often felt like the only thing I have —and don’t get me wrong, it does bring me joy— but it's been such a struggle for such a long time. It takes me days, weeks or even months to finish small pieces, and it makes me so frustrated because I love drawing, but there always seems to be a point where my enjoyment stalls and it suddenly becomes an impossible slog; but I still feel like I have to get it done even if I hate it and never want to see it again afterwards. It's still a struggle now, but I think it’s starting to get better. I've been drawing for myself a bit- I made a little self portrait icon and then drew a whole load of OCs to match, and I've been making some character sheets, I started a Pathfinder campaign with some friends so obviously I've been drawing my PC (she's a pink tiefling swashbuckler and I love her), and I've done lots of doodling that went no where and that was ok. It's been pretty nice.

But I feel guilty as hell because it’s not work.

I opened commissions way back in December largely out of a feeling of obligation, because I kept on saying I would; in the summer, in September, then late-September, September-October, definitely October, maybe November- and kept not getting around to it; and then I crashed hard as soon as I did. I had myself convinced that everything was fine up until then, or fine enough (spoilers: it was not), and I could totally do them, but I haven’t done any of them, I haven’t even confirmed them. I kept telling myself “next week I will be up to it” but of course that next week when everything is magically better has yet to materialize. I feel incredibly guilty about it, and it only gets worse with each “next week” that passes. I’m so sorry to everyone I’ve disappointed.

I want to be able to pick them up again, but I have to be patient and realistic with myself; and realistically I’m just not in that place yet. Forcing myself to do them is only going to undo what progress I’ve made. I need to be kind to myself and get comfortable with my own expectations for a while, without running myself into the ground trying to meet those of others too. I tried "pushing through" for years and it was destroying me. So my commissions are on hold, for the moment. I want to do them —for those that still want them, I don't blame anyone who doesn't, I realise that I do not look super reliable right now— but when I am in a better place for it, so I can do both them and myself justice.

I don't really know if I'm going to start posting personal art again in the meantime. I do miss it! I miss seeing likes and reblogs and everyone's tags. But I also do not miss the accompanying pressure. It might be that I'll do better with that now, but I don't know. I'm hesitant to find out. I do have a zine piece from last year that I can post now, so maybe that'll be my test re-entry.

So that's where I am and where I've been. I'm genuinely feeling better now than I have done in years —maybe decades— but the difference has really put how very not well I was doing into sharp focus. I spent most of last August crying; I'm hoping not to do that this year.

Thanks for sticking with me, and I hope I can start sharing art again some time in the not too distant future ♡

[hteragram-x]

Remus Sanders is an artist HCs – part 2

Next part of [THIS POST]

It may be slightly more angsty than last time... (but it’s still packed with this Creativitwins content I crave... plus there are hints at Intrulogical, Dukeceit, and Intruality).

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21. When Remus wants Logan to join him with creating new hybrids and some weird terraformations in the Imagination he leans in way too close and asks: “wanna play god?” in a seductive voice. (Works every time.)

22. He paints a lot and he usually needs gigantic canvas, because he’s very expressive and energetic, so the paint goes everywhere (including the artist himself… I mean he drinks it) and he’s got no patience to deal with some small easel when he has A VISION.

23. He likes recreating already existing famous paintings, but – obviously – makes them more sexual and/or bloody. The more disturbing the better.

24. He knows quite a lot about classical art and the well known artists. If you want to rebel against the rules you need to know them first, right? (he learnt that too)

25. Remus is better with theory, Roman has more artistic intuition when it comes to new techniques. So they can often teach each other. Remus giving the facts and Roman quickly coming up with new ways to apply this knowledge in practice. (Logan’s very proud.) They generally like trying new techniques and materials to paint or sculpt together.

26. Remus, just like Roman, really wants a big audience (or any audience, at least). The fact that he’s “trapped” in Thomas’ mind is sometimes depressing, because his brother’s ideas are quite often created in the real world, but his art stays in the subconscious with no one to witness its disturbing glory.

27. So Roman made him an art gallery where he can display all his proudest creations. Most of the visitors are just the made up people from Imagination, but sometimes one of the sides will go there too. Patton has more than once spent the entire evening looking at the displays through his fingers, but he’s seen every single work of art and tried real hard to honestly compliment at least one thing about all of them. (He even took the autograph. Remus definitely didn’t cry.)

28. Once Roman and Remus decided to paint each other portraits and then autoportraits to hang them together for comparison. It started as a friendly competition to brag about their skills, but it turned out that each brother painted their twin with much more sad expression than they had on their autoportraits. They decided to not talk about it again, but they kept the paintings in their rooms nonetheless.

29. Remus once gave every side their portrait for birthday or nameday. They were very… ehm… realistic. Let’s just say that not every side wants to show them publically.

30. He likes asking other sides to be his models as a sneaky excuse to spend time with them. Most of them already discovered his intentions, but they come to his study anyway. Deceit is the most patient and graceful model and the only one willing to take off any clothes (to show more scales, mostly). Logan can be patient too if you let him read or rant about something while posing. Patton is too energetic so he can only pose for quick sketches.

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31. Remus stopped asking Roman to be a model, because… well… He can just draw himself without moustache, since they are twins (in an AU where the sides don’t look exactly the same…; if they do look alike, then he can draw anyone and put into Roman’s costume). But to be honest Roman just can’t stay in one position for more than twelve seconds. He’s easily distracted and gets excited, leave him alone.

32. When the twins were little they drew a lot pictures together on a giant cardboard. You could always guess which part was done by which twin. (And they really made Patton suffer by constantly asking which one he likes more.)

33. One of Remus’ biggest dreams is for Thomas to direct a horror movie. The most obnoxious and over the top production, full of gore, but with a super sad ending that affects you more than all the limbs and eyeballs flying around earlier.

34. He has at least twenty variants of the script and a long list of ideas (such as the designs of the monsters and precise descriptions of gruesome deaths), but at some point he realized that his big project will never be transferred to the silver screen. He gave up on asking Thomas about it after the seventh script, but kept writing.

35. When asked nicely he will paint, draw, sculpt etc. something pretty and delicate for others. Sometimes other sides do that to tease him and see him sketching fluffy animals, but he actually appreciates that they want his art. So if he spends a quiet evening painting some sunflowers in watercolours it’s all good. (But they better praise his work adequately. He could have spent that time sketching naked dudes, so be grateful, Janus.)

36. When struck with a sudden wave of inspiration Remus will write down his idea (or sketch something) no matter the situation. With a fork on the wall? Sure. With permanent marker on his forehead. Of course. (So you should not be surprised to see him walking all day with the words “tentacles, birthday cake, salt” written all over his face.)

37. He likes designing tattoos. He even put them on two other sides (they agreed!). [I’m not going to tell which ones.] And he really enjoyed it. You combine art with causing pain. How could he not like it?

38. He did at some point use his own blood to paint. It’s Remus, let’s be real.

39. When he’s melancholic and needs a change he likes to stay on his side of Imagination and just shift all the things around. He rebuilds the parts of his tower or let the forest grow at the impossibly fast speed. He doesn’t consider it art, but he often ends up with something new and interesting, so maybe it is? (plus he feels better afterwards)

40. But when he’s extra sad, he would just sit down and write poetry. Because he honestly thinks that poems are kind of lame. And what’s lamer than being sad, am I right? haha (someone hug him).

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I don’t know if I’m finished with this list… Probably not.

[Again, part one is HERE.]

[kiivg]

.This is such a belated answer, but I’m not impressed by the Grail Knight :| There’s more under the cut if you want some ramblings because I never get to talk about Vermintide on here because where’s the fandom??? :).

.I did all the challenges (apart from the 100 missions) because it’s very difficult to quickplay and get Kruber nowadays, and I play a lot with people who main Markus. And I’m a slutty slutty Saltzpyre main. Which still shocks me to this day, because I was a terrible Vicky in V1, and I only recently (a few months ago?) started playing Saltzpyre because... I actually don’t know why. And I spent a lot of time complaining about the Zealot because I couldn’t figure out a good build for him, because the advice I got was ‘build him for criticals’ which is terrible advice. But look at me now, max stacks and thrilled about it. I love him :).

.The Grail Knight is fun to play, and he’s pretty good considering you’re generally going to look like a massive arsehole if you’re the last man standing because your severe lack of gun meant everyone got grabbed and you can’t save anyone because you’re only range is about a meter radius around yourself. He’s squidgy as hell, you’re like two hits and down, and you’re fucked if you don’t have someone with good aim and long range on your team. But then again, trying to get other people to take out the specials before they’re licking out your soul by highlighting and using the social wheel is hellish in itself. Please, it’s a team game, please.

.The new weapons are alright, I hate shields entirely so, you know, but the longsword is pretty fancy with the riposte. And realistically, you’re kind of bound to having to have a shield as a second weapon if you want to be able to reliably take out Rattlings and Flamethrowers without having to backtrack and hide until they come to you. Without knockback or a dash he’s sort of really risky to use a slow weapon with too, especially if you’re crowded or staggered; it’s not like you can block and use his special either. 

.He kind of makes the Shade even more redundant though, specifically with his double special thing and a little tasty purple in his hand. Ah those were the days; the ineffable panic when a monster turned up and nobody was the Shade so you had to slog out a monster battle with a unavoidable horde rocking up once or twice. Granted that was like the beta days... And now pretty much everyone has a monster killing tactic. Which is better, I guess? Less teamwork, less kiting, more competitiveness on who can kill the boss fastest.

.The design seems out of place as well, not that I know much about Warhammer lore, but everyone else seems kind of... Ah I don’t know the word for it, but they all fit together and then the Grail Knight is all bright and shiny, even the portrait for him seems something extra. I suppose it’s meant to be like that, but it just looks like he’s the main character in the anime kind of thing, haha. Maybe that’s just because I’m wearing headgear that means Vicky has mud smudged all over his face :).

.Aside from that, the dialogue? Every time he whips out peasant I want to scream. I don’t understand why Markus, a man who deeply respects Victor, has started calling him that and has absolutely no issue with anyone else. It stresses me out so much. I hate it :). I don’t care if he drank some stinky ass pond juice, that boy needs to learn some respect. I suppose it’s fitting that I’m a Saltzpyre main and I’m salty as fuck about this :).

.It’s also the fact that Markus was a farmer, and he was a peasant, he was very poor and this new entitlement is making him act like a dick. Sure he’s fancy and he likes his coin and feathered caps, but he’s still a bloody farm boy, doesn’t matter how many gilded cups he shoves up his arse.

.Last time I was in Bretonnia, shut up, Markus.

.However, it does fit quite nicely into that classic Heir/Servant sort of trope for my own little Kruberzpyre HCs and AUs, maybe there’s some redemption in the end.

.Also he’s a heretic, sorry, Sigmar and them lot only for my boys thank you.

...

.I played a few more days after writing this and I’ve decided I don’t actually like the Grail Knight at all. He’s really not the kind of character I play, he’s slow with no range, he’s strong but there’s hardly any point in all that power if all the enemies are dead before you get there (which brings up the conundrum of, do I stick with my team to help them (risking being overwhelmed by a horde) or do I run to kill the horde before they’re even close (risking a teammate being grabbed and way too far away to save)?) and who needs that heavy of a special attack when monsters aren’t even that big of a deal anymore?.

.In comparison to the other three classes Kruber has, I’d say it’s third out of four, and the only reason he’s not fourth is because Fatshark have butchered the Huntsman so much that I can’t stand to play him, and I can remember the days where I would clock two- if not three- times as many kills as everyone else with ease, and now it’s a struggle to survive as him. Mercenary will always be the best Kruber, and the Foot Knight takes second just because he’s fun as fuck to play, even if he’s not viable for cataclysm. (Granted I can’t play Kruber or Bardin in Cataclysm lmao.).

.In essence, I’m disappointed, and I‘m worried about what the next classes are going to be for the other characters, (but I am intrigued to see how they match the Grail Knight’s boon system) and, if it’s turning into one of those games that’s kind of, not pay to win, but pay to get stronger stuff. (Eg. the weapons you receive in DLCs are marginally better than those in the base game, which, has that been sorted now? I’m still just using Vicky’s great sword.) Because though I dislike the Grail Knight, I can see why people might grasp for the boons he gets that can give health regeneration, power increases, and damage taken decreased etc. 

.TL:DR: I don’t like the Grail Knight and doing 100 missions as him is going to kill me :).

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

You know I was thinking Of doing a a CYOA that Will function as a type Of Rewrite for Hogwarts Mystery, where The options actually matters More than just giving You extra dialogue.

I'm maybe too ambitious but I Actually Thought Of Relationship Stats (Merula's Relationship being The most difficult to level up to her harsh Personality) and how that would unblock options about The Relationship you hace with The Character, Like just to put an example If You're a total asshole to Ben un The case Of old Ben he would be scared to talk to You and New Ben would bring your past actions to him just to tell you “I'm not that scared Little kid anymore and I don't Fear you” even If MC tries to apologize he would brush it off “You already put me Through All Of This, Is too late for apologizing”

ALSO, if You act distant to Rowan that would be The way They distance from You but Like If you're a Good friend to Them There's no need to distance

ALSO from The customizable options, I was thinking about The whole at Hogwarts could be a type Of test to determine MC's Personality, like The results Of The Personality test from Mystery Dungeon just that It Actually matters for What Options are available and how MC Would act when You're not controlling Them also when it comes to Choose Their House The Houses that Will be available to Choose would be according The Personality assigned to MC

ALSO! trans options, So even If MC is a trans boy/Girl the portraits would Let Them in on their respective dormitories, If MC Is NB or Genderfluid The dormitories Will be randomly Choose, You can Choose Your Pronouns, also if MC Is a Hufflepuff and gets along well with Penny, She Will give Them Potions to deal with dysphoria.

(Going under the cut because I ramble on.)

Dude, I would love it so much if the choices made more of a difference. As much as this always pains me in games, it’s something that I normally go easy on the developers for. Because to tell a linear story, the choices can’t matter. And every difference choice we can make has to be programmed into the game. So I can understand why it might be difficult and time-consuming, I can even understand that it would limit their capacity to tell the story or make things confusing. But damn if I don’t still want it anyway! Having choices makes a video game skyrocket for me, but once the wool is off my eyes, once I notice that they don’t actually make a difference...the thrill is lost and the whole concept just feels cheap. 

I love the concept of how the way you treat characters could affect the way they see you and be brought up later. To an extent, this is true in the canon game, but barely. If you say one thing, it will get repeated back to you in bold text later on. But it won’t really make a difference. “New” Ben seems to think you saw his old self as a burden, no matter what choices you made, and there’s nothing you can say to convince him otherwise. The only time choices like these have felt as though they truly mattered in hindsight, was bringing Rowan to the train station or not doing do. Speaking of Rowan...yeah, I’m with you. The whole concept of having a friend that you grow apart from? That’s realistic and I’m here for it! But why...why Rowan, when they were marked for death all along? It’s just not fair. 

Creating a personality for your MC would be rather neat! Especially since they are a speaking character, and have lines in every scene. Sure, the choices you input can impact their nature to a degree...but in general, the mild-mannered “everyman” type of personality that they have in general scenes, is their default mood no matter what you do. Since MC talks for us, since they aren’t a silent protagonist, I think it would have been pretty cool if we got to select between five or six different personality “types” that would have their own dialogue sets. Would be a lot more work to program of course, but I think it would be worth it. Same goes for a more immersive overhaul of the Sorting. Though I don’t mind what we got. Restarting your save file used to be such a pain, and involve jumping through so many hoops...that having the Sorting be a quiz or a mini-game would be pretty annoying if you didn’t get the House you want. 

Penny. Brewing potions. For MC. To help them. With dysphoria. My good friend you have opened up such a magnificent floodgate of trans headcanons and I shall drown happily in them. Magic is a wonderful thing, and we know human transfiguration is possible. Transfiguring your body to match your gender could totally be done! I also tend to believe that despite the archaic jinx on the dormitories, there are ways around it. Luca isn’t a boy, so they can go into the Girl’s Dormitories. I interpret Rowan as being gender-fluid, so perhaps they can go in on a Girl Day, if that makes sense. If someone was bi-gendered, I feel like a girl trying to enter the dormitory would overrule that a boy was trying to enter at the same time, if that makes sense. Feels the most inclusive. Not that it really matters for the game, since Dormitories don’t play enough of a role for this to come up. 

[et-lesailes]

missing linc // chapter three

series masterlist

pairing: ceo!dad!steve x reader

word count: 2950

series summary:  you are a college student working at a daycare full time during your summer break, and you have grown especially fond of one of the toddlers in your class, lincoln rogers. you are certainly not expecting to develop such a huge crush on his dad steve when you meet him for the first time, but you can’t help but be attracted to the businessman– despite the fact that he’s married. however, as intelligent and mature as steve comes across, he has a few secrets behind his marriage- one in particular he may never be able to make up for.

series themes: romance, drama, age gap, infidelity, smut in later chapters

chapter summary: steve and reader start getting to know each other more. while steve is on his business trip, reader is asked to babysit and ends up seeing something she definitely was not meant to see...

taglist:  @viarogers , @evanstush , @chibi-crazy , @chalamet-evans , @world-of-losers , @songforhema, @sebabestianstan101 , @tanyam93 , @bval-1, @wonderwinchester , @little-miss-exo, @poerebel , @pining-and-tired , @gogomez-509 , @patzammit, @a-distantdreamer, @malthestorytellerblog, @rainbowkisses31, @jbug491writinghelp, @quaiderade, @melannie77, @gigistorm, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @firstangeldragonranch, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @honeyloverogers, @capsiclesdoll, @qrndevans, @mcueveryday, @drkstrangeson, @bangtan-serendipity, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyiamthatbitch, @captainscanadian, @kaithezaftig, @morganhoran1671, @booktease21, @hista-girl, @steeeeverogers, @okilover02, @collete04, @sadella-adams, @rumoured-whispers, @aletteredaffair, @shannon124, @isawritesstories, @knuffeltuff, @wxntersoldiers, @kelbabyblue, @macgruberrr, @troublermalik, @deepmuffinspymaker

notes: i swear if the taglist notification thing doesn’t work this time i will just resort to sending out an email newsletter to yall like i just am so done w tumblr ok. anyways, just wanted to say thank you guys for all the love and support you’ve been giving me for this fic, and tbh if you wanted to give a little extra tonight i’d really appreciate it because i’m having a suuuuper shitty night. :c

** please send an ask if you would like to be added to the taglist!

For the rest of that week, Steve dropped off and picked up Linc from daycare, much to you and your coworkers’ delight. Besides his enthralling looks, he was a genuinely charming and kind person, and it was easy to keep up conversation with him. He did not come past 6 again, but he did generally come at around 5:45 or 5:50, which still had Linc being the only toddler left in the class with you.

You supposed because it was just the two of you there with Linc and no other children for you to watch, it had been a given that there would be more conversation. He did not have to rush to get anywhere and neither did you, and so each day became hanging around slightly more whether it be in the classroom or out on the parking lot, chatting just a bit more than the day before. You would make sure to clean the room before he got there so he could walk you out, and you couldn’t help but wish this could be an everyday routine-- unfortunately, he had told you he would be traveling again just the next week.

You now knew a little more about him, and he about you. He knew you were a college student, a soon-to-be junior, to be exact. He knew you studied psychology and that you eventually wanted to work with children and child development. He knew where you were from, your favorite foods, hobbies, interests-- mainly the basics, really, nothing too deep. He had told you that he was a CEO of a pharmaceutical company and that he grew up in New York. He liked running and exercise in general (of course) and drawing-- he had even shown you a few photos of some sketches he did in his spare time and you were blown away, especially upon a particularly realistic portrait of Linc as an infant. He had told you that he loved seeing the ocean and that he wanted to be able to take Linc to the beach soon, hoping his son would appreciate the water just as much as he did.

When Sunday night came around, you were a little sad knowing that you would not be seeing Steve the next day. You weren’t even sure when he’d be back-- when you had asked, he said that it depended on how long it would take for him to get his current project done. Still, being with Linc throughout the days felt even more special than it did before. Now that you knew he got so many of his traits from his father, you felt more connected to him thanks to the many conversations you had shared with Steve throughout the past week.

You hadn’t expected to hear from Steve while he was gone; he hadn’t even sent you a message ever since he got your number, probably because he hadn’t needed any babysitting during that time. However, when a random number popped up on your lockscreen with a message underneath it at 1:30 AM on Wednesday, your heart skipped a beat simply from seeing the name that came with it.

Hi Y/N. It’s Steve. How are you?

Why were you acting like a girl with her first crush over this? You had been about to go to sleep, figuring you probably should since you had to be up at 8, but now you simply had to reply. You saved his number to your contacts before texting back.

Y/N: Hi Steve! I’m good, what about you? How’s the Philippines?

The screen showed him typing already, and you couldn’t deny you were pleased. The thought of having his full attention made you feel unnecessarily happy, but you also needed to force yourself to stop thinking about it so much.

Steve: Great. The beaches here are beautiful, I think you’d like them too.

He was already typing again and so you waited, biting your lip as you stared at the screen.

Steve: I told Tiana that you were open to babysitting and she wanted me to check with you if Thursday night would work. Maybe from around 6:30-9:30? She has a dinner event for work.

Y/N: Sure, I’m available that night! I’d love to help

Steve: I’ll let her know. Thank you- how much do you charge?

Y/N: Would $15 an hour work?

Steve: $25 it is ;-) Thanks again. Have a good night, Y/N.

You blinked and widened your eyes, wondering if he had made a typo, though the winky face told you otherwise.

Y/N: Wait, you meant 15 right?

You waited a few moments, but unlike before, no typing bubbles appeared.

Y/N: Just to clarify, 15. Just 15! 25 is too much!

Again, no typing bubbles. You stared at the screen in disbelief, though you couldn’t help but smile. Not because of the extra money, but just because of him. This was not good. You could not be catching feelings for Steve, it made absolutely no sense. You still barely knew the guy, and he was a married man, for God’s sake.

Putting your phone on your nightstand, you sighed as you settled into bed, wondering if you should explore dating options within your school-- anything to get your mind off Steve.

Thursday came around faster than you thought it would. Steve had texted you the address the night before, and you were now on your way there from work-- your boss had actually let you leave slightly early for once, and so you figured you’d just show up and wait in your car so Tiana did not feel rushed. She had seemed grateful to you when she had come to pick Linc up-- she had assured you she would have him fed before you got there, so you would only need to bathe him and get him ready for bed.

When you turned down Steve’s road itself, you were already in shock as you stared at the huge houses lining the street. Of course, Steve’s was at the very end and the most grand of them all, extending father both horizontally and vertically looking like a mansion right out of a movie. As you pulled into the long driveway, you noticed three cars-- Steve’s Mercedes, which made sense because he had probably been dropped off to the airport, and two others. One had to be Tiana’s, perhaps the other was another car they both used? To be honest, you were surprised there weren’t even more cars in the driveway, if that was the case.

You parked in a spot that was out of the way of all three cars, not knowing which one Tiana would use-- the driveway was quite roomy, and even if you were on the far side of it, it was probably the most convenient seeing she’d need to get out. You were parked on the other side of a rather large Range Rover, your much smaller car practically hidden behind it. Checking your phone, you saw that it was only 6. Eh, you could probably just go ahead in-- now that you were already in the driveway, it felt weird to simply sit there. You were about to open the car door when you noticed movement coming from one of the home’s large windows. When you looked towards it, your eyes immediately widened.

There stood Tiana and a male who was certainly not Steve, engaged in a rather steamy lip lock as his hands moved over her waist. She was continuously trying to pull back but giggling at the same time, clearly not bothered by the situation, gladly allowing him to keep pulling her back in for more kisses. You froze, staring in shock before making yourself look away, completely in disbelief. She was cheating on Steve? Who the hell could cheat on Steve? The more you thought about it, the more angry you got, but you took a deep breath. It was not your responsibility to be upset with her or lecture her, but you could tell Steve about what you had seen. In fact, you were itching to at that very moment, but the curtains suddenly closed and you were frozen again. Had she seen you? Did she know that you saw her? Did staying in your car look too suspicious, like you were spying? To make it seem like you had just gotten there, you quickly got out of the car, sliding your phone in your pocket. You could tell him after she left.

Trying to act as normal as possible, you walked up to the front door and rang the bell. She answered moments later, a smile on her face as she opened the door, though you could tell she looked a little nervous. “Hi there, Y/N!” You smiled in return as best as you could. “Hi, Tiana. Sorry I’m a little early, I got off work earlier than expected and figured I’d just head here. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” she assured, perhaps assuming she was in the clear if you didn’t seem like you knew anything. “Linc actually ended up passing out pretty early tonight, he was exhausted after dinner,” she explained as she let you in, and you couldn’t help but discreetly look around while listening to her; where did the man go? “So you can just sit back and relax-- there’s books in the study if you’re into reading, or the TV has Netflix, Hulu, cable, whatever you wanna watch. Oh, and feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen.”

She showed you around the main parts of the house just so you would know where everything was, and although you were still tense about what you had just witnessed, you couldn’t help but marvel at how luxurious this house was. It did not even seem like a toddler lived there until she showed you the playroom, Linc’s nursery where he was fast asleep, and even his own personal bathroom. She showed you where his diapers and other personal items were in case he were to wake up before bringing you back downstairs. You were still extremely confused on where her little “boyfriend” could be, wondering if he had actually snuck out of the house-- until she called out, “David? Are you still in the study?”

‘Wait, what?’ you thought, now even more shocked than before. She was blatantly admitting to having this man in her home? She looked to you with a smile. “David is one of my associates at work. We were just going over a presentation we have tonight.”

‘Is it a presentation on French kissing?’ you thought to yourself in disbelief, seeing she was clearly trying to make it seem like they were only coworkers. “Ah, I see,” you said politely nonetheless, then looked up as David came into the room, dressed in a suit and tie matching the shade of Tiana’s dress. “Hi. My name’s Y/N,” you introduced yourself, and he shook your hand with a smile. “David. Nice to meet you.”

“Alright, we should get going-- wouldn’t hurt to get there early.” Tiana picked up her purse. “Thank you again, Y/N!” You nodded and waved them off, waiting until they left before letting out an exhale and turning around, making your way to the living room. It was a little disappointing that Linc was sleeping, considering you had been excited to play with him, but at the same time, maybe it was for the best. You wouldn’t be able to have this conversation with Steve if you were bathing a hyper one-year-old. Plopping down on one of the leather couches, you took your phone out and typed a message.

Y/N: Hey Steve, are you busy right now? Think you could call me?

You figured telling him over the phone would be better rather than simply in a text, and besides, you did not exactly want potential screenshot evidence that you were involved in this mess, if it were to somehow come back to bite you in the ass. Your phone dinged a few minutes later and you immediately turned it on silent, even though there was no possible way Linc could hear it all the way from his nursery. The only reason you would even be able to hear him was because of the high tech baby monitor on the TV stand.

Steve: In a meeting right now, so unfortunately I can’t at the moment. Why? Is everything okay?

You couldn’t help but take note that he was texting you despite being in a meeting, but then reminded yourself to stay focused.

Y/N: I saw something and I wanted to talk to you about it. Just call me whenever you’re free? Linc is sleeping so I should be able to answer.

Steve: Sounds good. You’re okay though right?

You hated how nice he was, how thoughtful-- only because it was making you more angry that Tiana would have the nerve to cheat on him.

Y/N: Yes I’m okay it’s not about me or anything. Just call me as soon as you can okay?

Steve: Ok. Talk to you soon.

You started scrolling through Instagram to distract yourself, but you still couldn’t believe it. This probably had to do with what Stephanie had been saying about Steve and Tiana seeming to have an odd relationship based on how they acted with one another; had Tiana really been cheating for that long, though? How could she live with herself? You felt so disgusted with her, getting more and more irritated that she couldn’t appreciate what literally any woman in this universe would-- being married to Steve Rogers.

You realized you weren’t even looking at the photos on Instagram but rather absentmindedly continuing to scroll with your thumb; God knows how many you had missed. Sighing, you swiped out of the app and leaned back on the couch, resting your head back and staring up at the ceiling. What would happen now? Were you about to destroy a marriage? You felt guilty thinking about it that way, but it had to be done, right? It was wrong to withhold such information from Steve, he deserved to know.

Thankfully your phone rang, and you answered it almost immediately, just wanting to get this over with. “Hi, Steve. Thanks for calling me…”

“Of course, Y/N. I have a bit of time before my next meeting. What’s going on? I gotta say, you’re worrying me here…”

You wished you could tell him it was alright, but you really couldn’t, and you felt horrible.

“I, uh-- there’s really no easy way for me to say this Steve, but… um, well, I got to your house a little early,” you finally began, trying not to be so tongue tied. “And I saw Tiana in the window and… w-well… she was kissing another guy.”

There was silence for a few seconds, and your heart was racing. Why were you drowning in anxiety over here? You could only imagine how Steve felt in this moment. Was he just going to hang up on you? Was he going to explode? Was he going to cry? You didn’t know him well enough to know how he would take news like this, and each second was killing you.

“I.. see.” He finally spoke, and you bit your lip, wondering if he was maybe still processing. He sounded strangely emotionless, but perhaps that was how he showed his own disappointment or upset feelings. “I-- uh, wow. Thank you for telling me, Y/N.” You blinked. How was he so composed? Was this what being an adult was about? Maybe he was far too mature for you, because had you been in his shoes, you would have probably been flipping out. “Are you okay?” you somewhat blurted out, wondering if he was maybe just bottling up his feelings. “You.. you can talk to me about it, if you want, I mean I know it’s none of my business and that we barely know each other and that I just take care of your son but-- I, I’m sorry, I just--”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” he cut you off, and you swore that based off the sound of his voice, he was even smiling a little. “I really appreciate it. I think I just need some time to process and think about all of this. I wasn’t really expecting a call like this, you know?” You immediately nodded despite the fact he couldn’t see you. “Yeah, yeah of course. I get it. I-- I guess I’ll let you go, then? Again, I’m sorry, I just thought you should know… it felt wrong if I didn’t tell you.”

“Of course. You did the right thing.” Steve assured you, and you felt a weight lifted off your shoulders-- and then you felt guilty for even having that weight there in the first place. You had no reason to be feeling as if you were the burdened one from this. You wanted to help him as best as you could, but he was right. He needed some time to himself. “I’ll talk to you later, Y/N.”

You said your goodbyes and hung up, a loud sigh escaping your lips. You were still in shock over how… calm he was. Part of you wanted to sneak up to his and Tiana’s room to try and snoop around for more information, but you knew that was going too far. If anything, his maturity about the situation was actually somewhat inspiring, and so you picked up the remote and turned the TV on, telling yourself to stop thinking about it.

[lovestillaround]

ohh do you have any drarry fic recs? 💗

Hello my dear anon, I know it’s been 84 years since I got this ask, but in case you’re still hanging around here, I can happily list some fics that are dear to my heart, but I’ll just say - I’m sorry if it’s mostly stuff you already know. (Most of these fics are pretty old.)

Recs will contain some elements of spoilers, but I’ll try to keep them to the minimum so as to not ruin the enjoyment of the stories.

ao3:

tissue of silver by fearlessdiva (M, 76k)

Oh my god, Draco in this fic. Absolutely phenomenal. The entire characterization in this fic is great, but Draco specifically. Okay, Snape is also really good. Look, just read it if you haven’t. You’ll fall in love with Draco (if you haven’t yet), or you’ll fall in love with Draco even more, and you’re going to have so much fun reading it. Honestly, there were countless moments when I would just laugh out loud because the dialogue is so funny and Draco is so witty. I realised that I still haven’t said what the story is about, so basically - someone’s trying to assasinate Draco, and Harry is an Auror trying to protect him/solve the case. But you’ll also get fabulous letters between Severus and Draco, chapters in forms of lists and reports, Draco looking like a greek god on the daily and Harry being absolutely swooned by his beauty. (And that one angsty scene that is so so good).

On One’s Knees by pir8fancier (E, 34k)

I love this fic. It’s quite angsty, but it’s more of a hurt/mild comfort kind of fic than something that will break your heart forever (but please don’t hold me accountable for my words, I might be desensitised after reading tonnes of angst). Draco leaves Azkaban and suffers from chronic knee pain/knee damage that interferes with his work as a night janitor. Harry is a Healer. Maybe I relate to it so much because I know what chronic knee pain means, but honestly, this fic is so good. You get to see a great psychological portrait of Draco and Harry, how people are products of their own choices but at the same time not really.

A Thousand Beautiful Things by geoviki (M, 104k)

More like one hundred thousand beautiful words! A story in two parts - the first happens at Hogwarts/during the war and the second after the war, and - to me at least - both parts are equally good (I think it’s quite an achievement!), and both are wildly different. The fic has absolutely delicious scenes including Veritaserum (not Harry/Draco scenes) that have my eyes glued to the screen every time I reread them. I don’t always enjoy when side characters take up too much space in fics (I’m impatient! and they can be distracting!), but in this story I totally did enjoy them. Especially Dean/Draco and Dean/Seamus friendships. It’s a story about sacrifice and forgiveness and knowing how to let go and move on, and it has bits of mystery, drama, hurt and humour. All the emotions the story gave me felt so relatable that I just can’t not love it.

Nobody’s Ever Died Of A Broken Heart by Frayach (E, 10k)

It’s a story about grief (yes, I’m talking about major character death). It is not happy, obviously, but it is hopeful, in a realistic way. It’s like a rain of emotion where pain mingles with love and regret and anger and nothingness. And the language of this fic is absolutely beautiful. 

Once Spoken by RurouniHime (M, 3k)

I absolutely love fics like these - angsty, poetic, with characters who love each other but for some reason have to go through hell, desperately trying to comfort each other and afterwards trying to heal.

Lettered by pir8fancier (E, 8k)

It’s a fic in the form of letters between the boys, and the twist is that Harry doesn’t know who he’s talking to. It’s super entertaining, and it has two sequels!

Wall of Glass by waterbird (T, 13k)

In this fic Draco is sent to Azkaban after the war. This story is so atmospheric, and feels (to me) quite close to the canon. I think it’s less angsty than it sounds (but who am I to say? I love angst?). Definitely recommend it. 

Unkissed Kisses and Songs Never Sung by femmequixotic (M, 13k)

I really, really love established relationship fics, and this one is brilliant. Draco is a Healer, Harry - an injured Auror. I read this fic for the first time years ago, and I’m sure I’ll never forget it. It’s just so full of love and tenderness, but it also has characters making stupid decisions and almost giving up. And it all feels so real. And the narration in this fic! Stunning.

Kiss A Boy In London Town (And Other Intimate Misadventures of A Society Whore) by femmequixotic (E, 36k)

Just… read the beginning. Read the first sentence, the first paragraph. If you don’t want to continue reading after that, I’m secretly judging you lol (jk). This fic has absolutely delicious narration, Draco as a single dad which is one of my favourite tropes (sorry, let me be biased!) and amazing smut scenes (wall sex!). It’s all just so good.

Giant Squid Is a Dirty Slasher by faithwood (E, 6k)

Yes, this is 6k of top quality tentacle porn. Warning for dubcon. I love this fic and the fact that now whenever the giant squid is mentioned anywhere, I have some... interesting images before my eyes.

fanfiction.net:

Eclipse by mijan (T, 309k)

It’s an epic story that has everything - angst interwoven with sweet, sweet moments, character development and self-discovery, arguments and fights and hurt/comfort. Draco kidnaps Harry from Hogwarts and delivers him to Voldemort but soon starts developing doubts about his own motives and actions… The slowburn is extra slow here, but that doesn’t mean that the story lacks plot or action! It’s a classic that I often come back to because it gives me all the emotions that I crave.

Must Love Quidditch by dracosoftie (M, 108k)

Harry is searching for a partner. He doesn’t want people to fall for his fame or wealth, so he opts for anonymous internet dating. There, he meets equally anonymous Draco. But it’s not the end! The fic has drama, secrets, magical sex gadgets, an old magical law, Draco and Harry being very passionate about food, and much more. Honestly, a treat!

Kiss Me With Fire by Lucilla Darkate (R, 4k)

Warning for heavy angst. There’s no ounce of happiness or comfort in this story, really. Maybe I read it when my angst tolerance was still not fully developed, but it’s one of the stories that I vividly remember even now, years later. It’s just so powerful.

The Benefits of Breakfast by wonky (T, 7k)

A humorous fic bordering on crack. Harry is obsessed with strawberry jam, and Draco likes it too. When strawberry jam disappears from Hogwarts, they take it upon themselves to bring it back. 

other:

Nightingale by michi_thekiller (NC-17)

I honestly don’t even know how to describe it. Maybe the most heartbreaking thing about this story is that it isn’t just angst - the flashbacks are filled with so much anger and passion, and then you have the present that stays in such big contrast to that past. It’s a powerful story. Just read the warnings.

Freudian Slip by jennavere (M, 10k)

Comedy! What happens if Draco and Harry are really obsessed with each other but don’t want to admit that? Of course they start to admit it without even realising! Add in some talking furniture for even more fun. This fic is so funny, perfect for when one needs some cheering up.

[dacconcepts]

Kiarra Elliot and the Afrocentric Keyy....

1.     Was there a pivotal moment that made you follow your path as an artist?

I would have to say the pivotal moment in my life that made me want to follow my path as an artist was in my last year in undergrad. I was taking my last courses for my BA in arts and I had a really in-depth conversation with one of my professors about exploring what art means to me and challenging the status quo. This sparked an internal question I have had for many years around the art world and the lack of imagery diversity, especially when it came to fine art in museums and galleries. At this moment I was also introduced to the idea of painting on wood as my canvas instead of the traditional canvas material. By changing my canvas material and also taking it a step further by using recycled material my eyes were open to a new way of creating. That same year I produced my first solo exhibition at a local gallery space showcasing art through my eyes. It also was the first time I showcase my artwork publicly.

2.     What is the process of making your work?

I start by asking myself what my intentions are for the painting and/or series I’m starting. After I figure out my intentions I do some figure research on lighting so I can ensure I capture the right shadows and highlights. After I finalize what portrait I want to create I go through my animal pairing process and figure out the right position that creates a seamless connection between the figure and animal.

3.     Describe your work in two words.

Unique portraits

4.     What is your favorite art movement?

Futurism movement

5.     What is your least favorite art movement?

Cubism movement

6.     How has your process changed over time?

My process hasn’t changed too drastically since I first started painting in my unique style. I have gotten more clarity on how I want to portray my artwork and become more intentional with my message.

7.     What themes do you pursue? And what themes do you want to pursue in the future?

I try and stay connected with the current environment and use that as inspiration.

8.     Do you have any advice for young artists?

Make sure that you take time to really develop your personal artistic style and research which medium fits you. Once you figure that out stick with it and practice often. Set realistic goals for yourself and don’t be hard on yourself when things don’t seem to work out how you initially thought. Your career will be like a rollercoaster and will have lots of up and down moments but if you can get past those hard times and use art as an extension of yourself you will always feel fulfilled.

9.     Could you talk about the training you receive for becoming an artist? Do you think the training exerts a deep influence on your creative activities?

I received most of my training in school during my high school days; I attended a performing art high school with a visual arts focus and continued in college. Both school trainings allowed me to explore different mediums and materials. This also laid down the foundation for me to find my own style and fall in love with painting on wood. Being able to explore multiple art mediums in a school setting helped speed up my process of finding what type of artmaking I wanted to produce. It also gave me full access to active established artists/professors who could help guide in the right direction. I do believe having this extra access to working artists in my field did provide additional benefits I wouldn’t have had if I didn’t study in school.

10.   Do you think there is a close relationship between your living circumstance and your artworks? If so, how do you think the circumstance influence your works?

Yes, I believe there is a massive relationship between your living circumstance and artwork because it is the most personal connection an artist has. Depending on how your creative space is and if you have space to create will impact not only what you create but the frequency of you making art. Currently, I am able to work in the same space I live in and I feel it gives me a sense of ownership to practice my craft more and focus on how I can take my art to the next level.

11.   How do you know when it is time to completely stop working on one artwork? Are you satisfied with your creation when you leave off it?

I don’t really ever know when a piece is 100% done. I feel like there is always something that can be added or adjusted on a piece but I do feel a sense of completion on a piece once I am able to step away from it, stare for a few moments, and can feel a smile appear on my face. That sense of peace is my confirmation that I have “finished” a piece.

[letterboxd]

Life in Film: Elle-Máijá Tailfeathers & Kathleen Hepburn.

“We didn’t want it to be about the one-take, so we were actually kind of hesitant to speak about it before we released the film, because it wasn’t a gimmick.” The co-writers and directors of Canadian break-out feature The Body Remembers When the World Broke Open (now streaming on Netflix) talk single-take filmmaking, Indigenous representation, and identifying with Edward Scissorhands, as they answer our life-in-film questionnaire.

New Canadian feature film The Body Remembers When the World Broke Open, which landed well at Berlin and TIFF and was picked up by Ava DuVernay’s Array Releasing, follows two Indigenous women with very different stories who come into each other’s lives on one fateful afternoon in Vancouver.

When Áila (Elle-Máijá Tailfeathers) encounters the pregnant Rosie (Violet Nelson), bruised and barefoot on a damp footpath attempting to evade her abusive boyfriend, Áila whisks her away to her apartment and encourages her to seek help. But Rosie is paralyzed by a dearth of realistic options.

Tailfeathers, who also co-wrote and co-directed the film, is Blackfoot from the Kainai First Nation (Blood Reserve) as well as Sámi from northern Norway. Nelson is a member of the Kwakwaka’wakw First Nation (Kingcome Inlet, Quatsino).

With cinematographer Norm Li (who filmed Beyond the Black Rainbow) shooting in real time over a series of extra-long takes on Super 16mm, The Body Remembers… is designed to appear mostly as a single-take film. The supposedly hidden cuts are “impossible to spot”, writes Sean Baker. “This is absolutely not ‘just a gimmick’,” agrees Olivier Lemay. “The feature-length shot worked wonders at taking us on this real-time journey with the characters that became uncomfortably immersive.” The result is a grounded and intimate portrait of two unique members of a group vastly under-represented in cinema. “It feels based deeply in character and never exploitative,” writes Milly Gribben.

Sitting down with Tailfeathers (who goes by ‘Máijá’) and her co-writer and co-director Kathleen Hepburn, we wanted to know more about their filmmaking technique, and the films that have inspired them.

Elle-Máijá Tailfeathers (Áila) and Violet Nelson (Rosie) in ‘The Body Remembers…’.

What was the impetus for telling this story? Elle-Máijá Tailfeathers: The film is inspired by an experience that I had in East Vancouver, where the film takes place. Like in the film, I encountered a young woman who had just fled her abusive partner and she was literally standing barefoot in the rain and was very pregnant. I spent a few hours with her and it was a transformative experience. Sometimes we are lucky enough to have these encounters with strangers that fundamentally alter us. I carried that experience with me for a number of years wondering what to do with it, wanting to honor her story, and just kind of was left with the question of what happened to her because I never saw her again. Ultimately, I decided I wanted to turn it into a feature film and honor her experience and our experience and what happened in that short time we’d spent together.

Most of my experience with directing has been through documentary, and then my experience with narrative film has been through acting. Knowing that I wanted to make a feature in real time, having never made a narrative feature before, I figured it would be a good opportunity to collaborate with someone with more experience. And the way that I learned as a filmmaker has always been through collaboration. Kathleen has been a friend for a number of years and I so deeply admire her work and just her as a person. Her feature debut Never Steady, Never Still, it’s a phenomenal film. I reached out to Kathleen and proposed the idea of co-writing and co-directing and doing this together and that’s how it happened. Kathleen, how did you respond to Máijá’s proposal? Kathleen Hepburn: It was a very immediate response. She told me what had happened in the real life experience. It just felt like such an important, rich story, very complex and also artistically quite challenging to tell a real-time story. We decided to do it in one continuous take. It felt like a really wonderful honor to be a part of this project and an amazing challenge that I was really excited to participate in.

Co-writer, co-director and actor Elle-Máijá Tailfeathers.

This film is putting characters on screen that haven’t seen a lot of representation. Was that part of the motivation? E-MT: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, the two women you see in the film are so familiar to me as an Indigenous woman. I know these women, so in so many ways they’re by no means unconventional. They’re just very real people who exist who, like you said, haven’t been represented on screen very often.

In terms of Indigenous cinema and Indigenous representation, there’s this long history of misrepresentation and people who aren’t Indigenous telling our stories and getting it fundamentally wrong. This was an opportunity to explore a very simple story that embodies all of these larger themes in such a nuanced way. It was an opportunity to speak about issues of class and various forms of privilege that exist within the Indigenous community based on lived experience. It was also an opportunity to, yeah, explore these larger systems of oppression that impact Indigenous in very different ways on a daily basis in Canada. There’s so much richness to both of these characters and so many opportunities to explore these larger themes through their lived experience on screen.

Although this breaks a lot of new ground, were there cinematic precedents that you had in mind? KH: One film we looked at in the writing process was Frozen River. In terms of style and tone, we were also looking at Andrea Arnold, Fish Tank. Wendy and Lucy, Kelly Reichardt’s film. But in terms of representation…

E-MT: I think Frozen River kind of set a precedent in terms of Misty Upham. She’s also Blackfoot. I’m a Blackfoot. She passed away very tragically, but seeing a woman like her on screen in a film that American audiences gravitated towards was pretty transcendent. Knowing that a character like that could hold space on screen in a way that drew American audiences in, I think kind of set maybe a bit of a precedent for this. Because we wanted Rosie’s character to be raw and real and vulnerable. When we found Violet Nelson, she embodied all of that and we wanted to present the world with a complicated individual who you would believe the world has not been kind to. Violet was all those things and she just delivered such an incredible performance and she was kind of like the light of our film. She carried so much of the film.

What precedents did you have in mind when you were thinking about shooting these long, real-time takes? E-MT: There were a lot of things to consider. One thing I think that was obviously most important for the process was supporting Violet’s performance, and coming from an acting background I really appreciate the rehearsal process, especially with theater. You get to sit with the work and be with it for weeks before you go to the stage. There’s a really incredible momentum that builds and being able to do the performance from beginning to end in one go on stage.

And there’s kind of this palpable energy that builds also with the audience because it’s an experience you’re all having. We wanted to bring that energy and that process into the film. We rehearsed for four weeks, and also rehearsed with our crew for five days and carefully choreographed everything. Our cinematographer, Norm Li, and the rest of our crew, were all just fully on board for this wildly experimental challenge.

KH: I mean, obviously we were inspired by films like Victoria, but I think for us, we didn’t want it to be about the one-take, so we were actually kind of hesitant to speak about it before we released the film because it wasn’t a gimmick. It was more to give the audience the same emotional experience as the actors.

We’d like to ask you about your life in film. What movie made you want to become a filmmaker? E-MT: I think for me it was Alanis Obomsawin’s Kanehsatake: 270 Years of Resistance. It’s kind of her most seminal work. She’s the grandmother of Indigenous cinema in Canada and also kind of around the world. She’s Abenaki, she’s 85 years old and she’s still making films. She just had a film at TIFF. She’s made over 50 films. Kanehsatake: 270 Years of Resistance is about the Oka crisis that happened in the early ’90s in Canada. It’s one of the most important works of cinema in Canada, and just knowing that an Indigenous woman made that film, that still is so incredibly important. I think that was the one that kind of motivated me to make movies.

KH: I think In the Mood for Love was probably the film where I was actually like, “Oh, okay, this is what filmmaking is like and can be like”.

Kathleen Hepburn, the co-writer and co-director of ‘The Body Remembers When the World Broke Open’.

What’s your go to comfort movie? E-MT: I could watch Moonlight over and over and over and over again. I don’t know if it’s a comfort movie, but there’s just something so splendid and beautiful about that experience and I actually crave watching that film. I probably watch it once a month. I’ll just sit down and watch a section of it.

KH: This is a more recent film, but one that I just loved so much is Toni Erdmann. Just everything about it is so inspiring. It’s hilarious and heartbreaking. But I don’t watch it once a month.

What movie, or movie scene, makes you cry the hardest? KH: Oh, I know this one. My Girl. When Macaulay Culkin dies, the funeral scene. “He needs his glasses. He needs his glasses.”

E-MT: God, that’s going to make me cry.

As a teenager, what movie, or movie character did you feel closest to? E-MT: For sure, Now and Then. That was something I connected with, but that’s when it was twelve years old or something.

KH: I was a tomboy growing up, so there was an Elijah Wood film called The War. For some reason, that one always stuck with me. I don’t know. I wanted to be those little boys, I think.

E-MT: Edward Scissorhands. I so connected with Edward. It’s just such a wild, bizarre, beautiful story of this outsider, but no, I’m not a fan of Johnny Depp now.

What film do you have fond memories of watching with your parents? E-MT: Oh man. Growing up we didn’t have a lot of money, but something that my parents always did was take us to the cinema and my dad, especially. On the weekends we would go and see double bills, sometimes not paying for the second movie. My dad was such an action movie guy. I grew up going to action movies with my dad. I remember, actually, my mom is the biggest Jackie Chan fan. Rumble in the Bronx, I think, holds a special place in my heart. It’s set in the Bronx, obviously, but it’s shot in Vancouver.

Then there was this Canadian TV show called North of 60, which was set in the north in Canada in this Indigenous community. It was kind of this show that we tuned into every week. I would say Tina Keeper, she’s an actress and also she’s a producer now, but she played a cop, an Indigenous woman. For me as a young person seeing her on screen was pretty transformative because she was an Indigenous woman who held a position of power and was a real person and was complex and beautiful and not framed within this overwhelming trauma that you often see Indigenous people framed within. That was pretty important just for me as in terms of representation, and then also for our family, we just tuned in every weekend. I don’t know if it’s even a good show. I can hear the theme song in my head. It was a CBC show.

Violet Nelson plays Rosie in ‘The Body Remembers…’.

What filmmaker, living or dead, do you envy or admire the most? E-MT: Right now, Tasha Hubbard. She’s a Cree filmmaker from Saskatchewan and she made a documentary film called nîpawistamâsowin: We Will Stand Up. It was about the murder of Colten Boushie, a young Cree man who was murdered by a white farmer named Gerald Stanley. Gerald walked away from all charges and is a free man, and the film is winning all sorts of awards across Canada and it’s so brave.

Tasha grew up with a white family, she was adopted. She grew up in this white farming community and she’s an Indigenous person who has experienced both of those realities. Racism on the prairies in Canada is very prevalent and in-your-face and violent. As a person who comes from the prairies—and I have an intimate knowledge of that reality—just the courage that Tasha took to make that film and to fully invest herself in such a challenging process. Yeah, there’s no words to sort of describe the respect that I have for her and what she’s done.

If you were forced to remake any classic, which one would you choose? E-MT: Well, this isn’t a classic, but one film that I’ve watched recently that just blew my mind is Happy as Lazzaro, the Italian film. It has such a high level of understanding about the world and the complexities of society, but it’s also just this beautiful film that tricks you into coming to an understanding that you don’t realize you’re having as you go through the film. I don’t have that sort of mind that can handle that kind of structural complexity.

‘The Body Remembers When the World Broke Open’ is the fourth acquisition of 2019 for Ava DuVernay’s Array Releasing, after acclaimed Ghanaian gem ‘The Burial of Kojo’, Hepi Mita’s documentary about his trailblazing Māori filmmaker mother, ‘Merata’, and Tribeca Film Festival award-winner ‘Burning Cane’ by nineteen-year-old Phillip Youmans. All are streaming on Netflix. ‘The Body Remembers When the World Broke Open’ is now in select theaters in New York, Los Angeles and Detroit.

[kerbaldevteam]

Kerbal Space Program 1.8: “Moar Boosters!!!” is now available!

Hello everyone!

New gadgets are coming from the Research and Development facility, the kind that will get Kerbals screaming: MOAR BOOSTERS!!! A brand new update is here and with it comes better performance, fresh new features, improved visuals, and new parts being added to our players’ creative repertoire!   

Kerbal Space Program 1.8: Moar Boosters!!! is an update focused on making the game perform and look better, all while introducing more quality of life features that will improve the overall player experience. We’re also bringing some new solid rocket boosters to the VAB, as well as introducing some exclusive treats for owners of the Breaking Ground Expansion.

Let’s go through some of the update’s highlights below:

Unity Upgrade

Moar Boosters!!! brings an upgrade to the underlying engine of the game to Unity 2019.2, which helped us implement performance and graphics improvements, as well as better rendering performance and a reduction of frame rate stutters. With the new tools that this upgrade provides, we’ll be able to continue refining the game in upcoming updates.

Celestial Body Visual Improvements  

Mun, Minmus, Duna, Ike, Eve and Gilly have new high-quality texture maps & graphic shaders, and now look sharper and more realistic! You will also be able to select the celestial bodies’ shader quality in the settings and set them to low (legacy), medium or high, with improvements being visible across the board. These are just part of the first batch of celestial bodies being overhauled, slowly but surely we will continue this endeavor.

Map Mode improvements

Map mode received some adjustments too! Now you can use docking mode and stage your craft whilst in map mode. The stage display button (formerly stage mode) now serves as a toggle to show and hide the stage stack, whether you’re in flight or map view, and selected map labels will now persist when going back and forth between map and flight mode. 

New SRBs!

A range of new solid rocket boosters have been added to the game. From the tiny .625m stack size Mite to the titanic 2.5m wide, 144ton Clydesdale, these new boosters will offer a range of versatile solid-fuel options. Making History owners get an extra bonus here too with the “Pollux” and a 1.875m nose cone to fit on top of it.

Breaking Ground Exclusives

Kerbal Space Program 1.8: Moar Boosters!!!  also includes some exclusive content for owners of the Breaking Ground Expansion. A new set of fan blades and shrouds will continue to push the creativity of KSP players even further. Use them to create drones, ducted fan jets, or anything you can imagine. 

Improvements to the helicopter blades and the robotic part resource consumption have also been included. The latter will now have better info on consumption and improved options for power-out situations.

And more!

To learn more you can read the full Changelog here:

=============================v1.8.0=========================== 1.8.0 Changelog - BaseGame ONLY (see below for MH and BG changelog)

+++ Improvements

* Upgrade KSP to Unity 2019.2.2f1 version. * Standalone Windows build now uses DX11 Graphics API. Many visual improvements to shaders and FX. * Implement Unity Incremental Garbage Collection. * Implement new celestial body shaders and textures for Mun, Minmus, Duna, Ike, Eve, Gilly. * Update Main Menu Mun terrain shader. * Add Terrain Shader Quality graphics setting. * Improve the TrackingStation load time. * Implement ability to edit Action Groups in flight. * Performance improvements to the VAB/SPH scenes. * Performance improvements in the flight scene. * Performance improvements in the Tracking Station scene. * Add ability to edit resource values in PAWs using the key input. * Add Warp to node button on dV readout in NavBall display. * Add enable/disable wheel motor Actions to all wheels. * Add ability to limit the maximum size of PAWs via settings.cfg. * Improve the Action Groups/Sets UI. * Add PAW_PREFERRED_HEIGHT to settings.cfg for players to set a prefered max height. * Made staging and docking UI available in map view * Pinned labels in map view now persist pinned even when leaving and re-entering map view * "Delete All" functionality for messages app has been implemented. * Improve the KSC grass and asphalt texture and shader to reduce tilling. * Improve textures for the VAB building on level one. * Model revamp for the level one and level two Research and Development nissen huts. * Increased precision for eccentricity in advanced orbit info display. * Upgrade VPP and improve wheel and landing leg function. * Expose global kerbal EVA Physics material via setting. * Add do not show again option to re-runnable science experiments. * Add actions for same vessel interactions functionality. * Implement per-frame damage threshold on destructible buildings. * Add vessel name title to flag PAWs. * Add a confirm dialog with the option of “Don’t display again” when a kerbal removes a science experiment data. * Disable Pixelperfect on UI Canvases to improve performance - available to configure via settings.cfg. * Increase precision for numerical editing of maneuver nodes. * Kerbal position on ladders and command pods improved. * Add ability for users to add their own loading screen pictures to the game. Folder is KSP/UserLoadingScreens

+++ Localization

* Fix incorrect naming of The Sun. * Fix Action Sets text in VAB/SPH for some languages. * Fix Text in dV KSPedia pages in Japanese. * Fix Chinese Localizations. * Fix dV readout for Chinese language.

+++ Parts

New Parts: * S2-33 “Clydesdale” Solid Fuel Booster. * S2-17 “Thoroughbred” Solid Fuel Booster. * F3S0 “Shrimp” Solid Fuel Booster. * FM1 “Mite” Solid Fuel Booster. * Protective Rocket Nosecone Mk5A (“Black and White” and “Gray and Orange”). * Add rock/dirt debris FX to the Drill-O-Matic and Drill-O-Matic Junior.

Updated Parts (reskinned): * Service Bay (1.25m). * Service Bay (2.5m).

Color Variants: * Protective Rocket Nose Cone Mk7 (New “Orange” color variant) * Protective Rocket Nose Cone Mk12 (New “Orange” color variant)

+++ Bugfixes

* #bringbackthesandcastle - Fix the Mun sandcastle easter egg from not appearing. * Fix Maneuver editor so that the mouse wheel adjusts the node now in the contrary direction (same behavior as dragging down/up). * Fix a null reference error when player threw away a vessel with fuel flow overlay turned on in the editor. * Fix an input lock when switching between Editing the vessel and the Action groups menu. * Fix user created vessels disappearing from the vessel spawn dialog. * Fix the random selection of Mun vs Orbit scene when returning to Main Menu. * Fix input field rounding on Maneuver Node editor fields. * Fix a Null reference in the Editor when selecting a part and opening the Action Part Menu. * Fix pressing Enter key confirms the game quick save dialog. * Fix PAWs will now scale downwards from the header keeping more consistency on the fields.  * Fix an input lock issue where some PAW buttons disappeared when editing a numeric slider field. * Fix Menu Navigation was missing in the quicksave dialog. * Fix Mini Settings had some items that would be skipped when navigating with the arrow keys. * Fix for remove from symmetry causing NRE in flight scene. * Fix the FL-A10 collider no longer mismatching its geometry. * Fix Control Surface and Aero Toggle Deploy Action not working in all situations. * Joysticks and gamepads on Linux are again recognized and usable. * Fix Action Groups UI and Color issues. * Fix the LV-T30 Reliant Liquid Fuel Engine ́s bottom attach node. * Fix a texture seam on the Probodobodyne Stayputnik. * Fix a z-fighting issue on the destroyed VAB at level 3. * Fix the Z-4K Rechargeable Battery Bank ́s bottom attach node. * Fix the concrete tiling texture of the SPH at level 3. * Fix a grass texture seam in front of the VAB at level 3. * Fix missing texture and animation on the level one  Administration Building flag. * Smoothened Kerbal IVA expression transitions to avoid strange twitching. * Make the LV-TX87 Bobcat exhaust FX more appropriate. * Fix kerbal portraits when launching vessel with multiple kerbals in external command chairs. * Fix drills operating when not in contact with the ground. * Fix thrust center on the Mainsale engine. * Add bulkhead profile to LV-T91 Cheetah, LV-TX87 Bobcat, RK-7 Kodiak and RE-I12 Skiff. * Fix re-rooting of surface attach nodes. * Fix kerbal IVA expression animations transitions. * Fix shadows at KSC and in flight. * Fix “sinker” warning during game load. * Fix lengthy Map Transition when lots of vessels in the save. * Fix overlap in vessel type information window. * Fix a Null Reference when copying parts with alternative colours. * Fix an error where the custom crafts were not loaded in the Load Craft dialog after navigating the tabs. * Fix a null reference when clicking the Remove Symmetry button on some parts. * Motorized wheels no longer keep generating torque even when the motor is set to ‘Disabled’ * Re-centered an off center scrollbar in the mini settings dialog. * Rebalance decoupler, MK1-3, MK1 lander can, MK2 lander can, separators costs, crash tolerances, weight.

+++ Mods

* Target framework now .NET 4.x. * DXT3 DDS formatted textures are not supported by Unity or KSP any more. You must convert to DXT5. * Added UIPartActionWindow.UpdateWindowHeight to allow mods to dynamically set the PAW max height * MapviewCanvasUtil.GetNodeCanvasContainer created as more performant method than MapViewCanvasUtil.ResetNodeCanvasContainer. Use the rest one only when you need to force a scale reset * ModuleResourceAutoShiftState added that can be used for startup/restart of parts based on resource availability. * VesselValues are now cached per frame. Can use ResetValueCache() to reset the cache.

1.8.0 Changelog - Making History DLC ONLY

+++ Improvements

* User can now click and drag and release to connect two nodes in the mission builder.

+++ Parts

New Parts: * THK “Pollux” Solid Fuel Booster

Updated Parts (reskinned): * Kerbodyne S3-14400 Tank * Kerbodyne S3-7200 Tank * Kerbodyne S3-3600 Tank

+++ Bugfixes

* Craft Thumbnails are not shown/generated for stock missions. * Fix Kerbals spawning on EVA in missions spawning on their sides (very briefly). * Fix Intermediate and Advanced Tutorial becoming stuck. * Fix Typos in some part descriptions. * Fix vessel width and height restrictions on Woomerang and Dessert in career games. * Fix camera becoming stuck if in IVA mode when a vessel spawns in a mission set to change focus to that vessel. * Fix hatch entry colliders on the M.E.M. lander can.

+++ Missions

+++Miscellaneous

+++ Mods

1.8.0 Changelog - Breaking Ground DLC ONLY

+++ Improvements

* Add renaming of Deployed Science Stations. * Add alternators (producing electric charge) on LiquidFuel Robotic Rotors. * Add propeller blade AoA, lift and airspeed readouts to their PAWs. * Add Reset to built position button in PAWs of Robotic parts which causes them to reset their Angle, RPM or Extension. * Add shutdown/restart function to robotics parts based on resource availability. * Add preset curves functionality to the KAL controller. * Add part highlighting on mouseover in KAL. * Improve Robotic Part Resource usage info in editor. * Add interact button to open PAW for Deployable Science parts. * Added new KSPedia slides for Grip Pads, Propellers and Track Editor. * Improve Robotics Parts Resource usage to use less resources when moving slower. * The PAW button “Reset to Launch Position” for robotic parts now reads as, “Reset to build:” + Angle, RPM or Extension depending on the robotic part to avoid confusion.

+++ Localization

* Fix description text on R7000 Turboshaft Engine in English. * Fix localization of resource name in robotic part PAWs. * Fix KAL help texts.

+++ Parts

New Parts with Variants: * S-062 Fan Shroud * S-12 Fan Shroud * S-25 Fan Shroud * R-062 Ducted Fan Blade * R-12 Ducted Fan Blade * R-25 Ducted Fan Blade * Readjusted the liftCurve, liftMachCurve and dragCurve values on the propellers and helicopter blades.

Rebalanced Robotic Resource Consumption values: * G-00 Hinge * G-L01 Alligator Hinge * G-11 Hinge * G-L12 Alligator Hinge * G-W32 Hinge * Rotation Servo M-06 * Rotation Servo M-12 * Rotation Servo M-25 * Rotation Servo F-12 * EM-16 Light Duty Rotor * EM-32 Standard Rotor * EM-64 Heavy Rotor * EM-16S Light Duty * Rotor, EM-32S Standard Rotor * EM-64S Heavy Rotor * 1P4 Telescoping Hydraulic Cylinder * 3P6 Hydraulic Cylinder * 3PT Telescoping Hydraulic Cylinder * R121 Turboshaft Engine  * R7000 Turboshaft Engine 

+++ Bugfixes

* Fix Deployed Science Log and Message system spam. * Fix Deployed Science parts sometimes exploding when coming off rails if in contact with another part (kerbal, etc). * Fix Deployed science parts being visible during the astronaut complex when opening that scene from the Editor. * Fix Robotic Parts using EC when moving to initially set position on launch. * Fix slider numeric values in some PAW fields could go out of range. * Fix autostrut processing for some use cases regarding root part being robotic part. * Fix autostrut delay when vessel comes off rails for vessel with robotic parts. * Fix Actions at the end of KAL track not firing in Play Once mode. * Fix separation of the blades when attached to an active rotor. * Fix rotation of cargo parts in extended tooltips. * Fix cargo part icons appearing in Astronaut Complex when pinned. * Fix drag on pistons. * Fix cargo parts now rotate at the same speed as in the Editor on the inventory grid during Flight. * Fix mirroring of hinges and rotation servos. * Fix KAL Window not closing when vessel goes outta range. * Fix incorrect naming of the Sun in science experiments. * Fix mirrored attaching to rotor side nodes.

+++ Miscellaneous

+++ Modding

Kerbal Space Program 1.8: Moar Boosters!!! is now available on Steam and will soon be available on GOG and other third-party resellers. You will also be able to download it from the KSP Store if you already own the game.

Click here to enter the Grand Discussion Thread for this release.

Happy launchings!

By the way, you can download the new wallpapers of the Moar Boosters!!! art here:

1080x1920p (Most Phones)

1080x2048p (Galaxy S9)

1440x2560p (iPhone X)

Desktop 1920x1080p

Desktop 2048x1080p

Desktop 2560x1440p

[jack-kellys]

hey y’all so this is the fic I wrote for Saph’s contest!

——————

no such thing

words: 1500

warnings: angst, implied death, swearing

———————

Jack felt like he was doing well. Social outings were becoming more frequent, him even hosting more than a few of them. He was painting again, after such a lack of inspiration. He’d jumped into work more than before, busying himself with his job.

Distracting himself, Davey would correct him.

Distracting, okay, fine. But it was working. Things were better than they’d been before.

Jack had just come home from Race’s that night, tired from the night’s excitement but with a clear vision in his head he just had to get down on a canvas.

He was about to put his brush to it when he was interrupted.

“What are we painting this time, Jacky?”

The brush froze after it nearly dropped from his hand, Jack letting out a humorless laugh. “Jesus Christ, Dave. Don’t scare me like that.”

“Sorry,” Davey whispered his apology with a smile. “Habit.”

Jack only nodded, resisting the urge to turn around. His brush travelled in short lines up and across the bottom, a dulled aqua color as he tried to conjure what was in his head.

“You know,” Davey continued to speak, “we haven’t had a date night in a while.”

Jack hummed in agreement, eyes narrowed at the canvas now. The previous vision he had was fading, suddenly.

“We should plan one out, I think. I know we’re both busy, but we deserve a break. You deserve a break, honey.”

“Dave,” Jack did allow himself to turn towards his husband, who was perched on their armchair.

A mistake, really. Davey glowed tonight, his pale skin illuminated by the moon waiting over the railing of their fire escape. The slight breeze from the open terrace ruffled his chestnut hair, displacing it just right.

Jack snapped his gaze back to his canvas. “You’re distractin’ me, sweetheart, c’mon.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Davey sighed. “You’ve just been so tense lately. I thought that was my job.”

Jack chuckled, wincing internally. He had shoved himself under a lot lately; typical of Dave to see it before Jack said anything.

“It was. I wish it still was,” Jack joked, earning a small, tinkly laugh from Davey.

“It’s...hard.”

Davey nodded his agreement, but still looked ready to add something.

Jack relented in his concentration again, sliding his deadpanned gaze to Davey’s. “Say it, come on,” he sighed with a tired smile.

“It’s just that- well,” Davey immediately let the words fall out. “You should allow yourself a break if the tensity is weighing on you, right?”

“Right…” Jack raised an eyebrow, signaling for Davey to continue.

The brunette stood, coming up behind Jack and placing his hands on his shoulders. Jack couldn’t help leaning back into it, a little.

“Let me share the weight,” Davey murmured. “Please, baby. You're hurting.”

Davey’s arms came around Jack’s torso, his head placed in his shoulder, and Jack’s vision of the canvas vanished from his mind. He turned in Davey’s embrace, wrapping his arms around his neck and inhaling deeply as he tucked his head under Davey’s chin. Dave’s arms squeezed around Jack’s back, warm and waiting and everything he wanted. Jack let his eyes close, pictures of memories passing through his mind, sweet and smooth like honey. He didn’t want to be anywhere else but with Davey. Couldn’t imagine it.

Jack’s eyes opened.

Yes, he could imagine it. He didn’t even have to.

“Okay, Dave. Lemme go,” he asked.

“Nope,” Davey hummed. The embrace grew closer.

Was Davey even warm?

“Dave. Let go, come on.”

“I regret nothing,” Davey sang.

No, Jack didn’t think he was. He was cold, actually.

“Davey, I love you, but please. Don’t touch me,” Jack whispered.

Davey let out a long sigh, but did release Jack. “Don’t worry, that was just plan A anyway.”

Jack stepped further away from him at that. “Dave, what does—”

“I know you can’t really let me go, Jacky, that’s why I’m still here,” Davey said, in that knowing tone he used when Jack was wrong. His arms were crossed now, too, like a father about to lecture his son.

“No,” Jack said anyway, shaking his head. “You ain’t here, I let you go, I watched them—”

“—lower me into the ground, yes,” Davey sighed. “You know that doesn’t mean I’m gone to you, right?”

Jack averted his gaze. Of course he knew. He’d been seeing Davey for weeks, each time making his heart strings heavier and heavier. He physically ached for David some days, the days Dave didn’t appear. Jack was told those were actually his healthiest days, despite them feeling the worst.

Jack decided against replying, hunching himself on the couch as he sat down. “But why is my vision gone?” he murmured instead, partially to himself.

“Your what?”

“My...ah, my- what I was gonna paint,” Jack said, staring in disbelief at the small amount of blue on the canvas. It had been so clear in his head just minutes ago. “I can’t think of it anymore.”

A thought struck him as his head snapped back up to Davey. “You did that,” Jack said slowly, not wanting to admit it. “You yanked it right outta me, didn’t you. I needed that, I coulda made commission on that. Fucking- goddammit.”

Davey sighed, shrugging as he gave up on playing dumb. “Technically...you did that, Jack.” When Jack still glared, Davey continued. “What’s the only thing you can think about, right now?”

Jack leaned back on the couch, eyes narrowed not only at Davey but also in thought. He definitely couldn’t think of his previous artistic vision, thanks to Dave. Jack remembered when Davey used to give him little inklings all the time, in menial things he said, even in the lilt of his voice sometimes. Occasionally Davey would actually try and give Jack an idea, but when he did, they'd always be slightly off, not belonging on a page. There was one time when Davey was furious at Albert for something and Davey practically demanded Jack to paint—on the largest canvas he could find, too—the most realistic rendering of flipping the bird, and send it straight to Al’s door. Of course Jack did, gleefully did, and then—

Oh.

“You,” Jack said quietly. “Just you.” He sat forward and resumed his hunched position, placing his head in his hands as memories of Davey continued to station themselves in his head.

Jack felt the couch sink next to him, then Davey’s hand rubbing up and down his back.

“I’m not asking you to not think of me,” Davey said, matching Jack’s previous volume. “I just need you to let me go, every once and awhile, okay?”

“I can’t, Davey, I-I—” Fuck. Jack felt his throat close slightly and cursed himself for it. “I need you. I need you to do this with me, I can’t live like this anymore.”

“Honey...” Davey soothed, brows creased in concern. “Jack, you have been. You’ve been doing so well, I swear it. You just gotta go the extra step now, okay? Just one more for me.”

“But I won’t see you,” Jack whispered inwardly, fearfully almost. Davey felt like the last thin strand of sanity he was clinging to, if he snipped that… “I don’t know what to do without you, Dave.”

“You’ll never be without me, hun, really,” Davey added as Jack looked up. He let Davey swipe his thumb under his eye. “You can let go and still hold on.”

“How?” Jack asked hollowly. His eyes were wide, desperate. He hated how afraid he was, still, of losing Davey, even though he already had.

“Well,” Davey said, sitting up more in that way he used to when he was about to make a point, “when you think of me, let it make you happy instead of...despairing, shall we say. Let it remind you that you are capable of being happy again. Let my memory...let me make you happy again. Allow it, it’s alright.”

Jack stayed quiet for a long while, staring at Davey’s hands now laid over his own. He still couldn’t picture anyone else’s hands looking like that on his.

“You sound like you’re presenting a damn PowerPoint presentation,” Jack mumbled, the barest trace of a smile on his face.

“It’s what I do best,” Davey laughed, and Jack could see the tears in his eyes, too. “...Are you ready, honey?”

Jack let out a breath he’d been holding since the funeral.

“Yeah- oh, wait,” he smirked, cradling Davey’s face in his hands and softly pressing their lips together, one last time and impossibly close as usual, before pulling away slightly.

“Now I’m ready,” Jack managed to smile, leaning his cheek into Davey’s hand when he brought it up to cup Jack’s face.

“I’ll see you around, Jacky,” Davey whispered with a nod. “I love you. You can do this.”

Jack nodded back. “Love you too.”

The feel of Davey’s hand disappeared. Jack blinked, and Davey was gone.

A few minutes later, Jack let himself get up from the couch and back to his canvas. He paused, staring at the lonely blue again more intently.

....Wasn’t that the color of Davey’s button down he had just been wearing?

He gazed at it longer, before finally deciding to pick up his brush again. A pale yellowed pink, a chestnut brown, and a maple syrup color made their ways onto the canvas eventually. A portrait of Davey gazed back at Jack after a few hours of work, his knowing smile reaching Jack through the paint.

And Jack smiled back. After all, it made him happy.

————

so I wouldn’t say I’m back, but I’m happy I wrote this :)

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