#saph tag

[iiberiss]

Now gang,,, you know what I’m thinking

if someone told me my blood smelled and tasted good i would be over the moon. this is on account of my nature

[dear-ao3]

adult hood is just

*buys a half gallon of milk* *uses it all within a few days* *decided to buy a gallon of milk to not run out before next shopping trip* *uses a teaspoon of milk that week and it goes bad somehow* *buys a quart of milk instead so it won’t go bad* *uses it in one day* *buys a quart and a half gallon of milk because the gallon was too much but the half gallon was not enough* *only uses the half gallon* *gives up on milk for a few days in general* *buys a gallon of milk again just to tempt fate* *somehow uses all of it without realizing and then has to eat sad cereal with like the 5 drops of remaining milk*

[fcthots]

Jason Todd with sharp canines that he accidentally nips you with all the time. At some point you kinda just have to shove your hand in his mouth to take a look and find out what the fuck he has in there that could possibly be doing this shit. He just sort of lets you without question and complains in muffled gibberish around your hand.

He does apologize profusely every time he knicks you though (and depending on what he was trying to do, he’ll lick or kiss it better). Unfortunately he refuses to do it on purpose.

But if you distract him enough with your hands tugging on the roots of his hair while he’s trying to leave a hickey… let’s just say he has a hard time focusing on being careful.

[cipheramnesia]

Tumblr stop recommending me horny sapphic blogs that all say men dni in the pinned post, go back to sending me posts from the one that's just horny all the time please, I want the fat furries and the queer freaks that are way less respectably normal about me and my body.

[wings-of-sapphire]

Saw a post a bit ago that went something like

Nimona: hello I am looking for the gay-coded villain

Ballister: on the contrary, I am the villain-coded gay

And like… that’s it that’s the movie

[dear-ao3]

best brownies in the known universe (at least, according to my grandma)

some year and a half ago when i was getting ready to move out i combed through all the family recipes that lay lost to time and one of the ones that i found was my grandmas brownie recipe. idk where she got it from (nor can i ask cause she has dementia) and its a printed out email she sent to my mom in june 2000. but by george these the best brownies i have ever tasted. would she be pleased that i am sharing this recipe with my vast following? absolutely.

YOU WILL NEED:

5 tablespoons butter (unsalted) 1 ounce unsweetened baking chocolate (or as much as your heart desires) 2/3 cup unsweetened good cocoa powder 1 cup sugar (white) (superfine preferred, normal works fine) 1 cup sifted white flour (can use gluten free) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder as much cinnamon as your heart desires (your heart needs to desire at least some cinnamon. its essential to the recipe) 3 egg whites 1 egg splash of vanilla extract (again, non negotiable step!)

preheat your oven to 325 degrees. grease a square baking pan (9x9 preferably).

in a small saucepan over medium heat melt the butter and baking chocolate. while that is melting, sift together the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a small bowl. once the butter and chocolate is done melting add the cocoa powder and cook it together for 1 minute. add in the sugar and stir. it will get very thick. this is correct.

set that aside to cool. while thats cooling take a large bowl and put in your egg whites, egg and vanilla. beat it up with preferably a whisk but you can use a fork if youre fresh out of whisks. once the chocolate is cool enough to not scramble your eggs dump it in the eggs and mix it together. add the flour in gradually and keep mixing until its smooth and happy.

spread into your greased baking pan. put it in the oven for EXACLTLY 18 MINUTES. very crucial step. they will come out slightly under done. that is what we want. as they cool they will continue to cook in the pan. we dont want them to get hard and sad. they are not good when they are hard and sad. do not overbake them. you will be sad.

slice them up and as the official last step on the original recipe says: EAT ENJOY AND MAKE MORE! (theyre very good with mint chocolate chip ice cream)

[dear-ao3]

you know what. piss off someone who voted red and have a fantastic day. do the productive thing that you have been putting off. put away that thing in your room you’ve been walking past for the last three weeks. throw out the expired food in your fridge. make yourself a cute little drink. brush your hair. send an email. call that person back. eat a snack. go on a walk. open your mail. fold your laundry. hope is only dead if you let it die.

[dear-ao3]

whats the strangest anon ask youve gotten

something about how if this was omegaverse irl how would puberty be marketed to teens

[dear-ao3]

[dear-ao3]

pov your ex held your collection of thrifted spoons hostage for over a year (not entirely his fault, they got mixed up in his things during a move and you did not realize it, though he did adamantly deny that he had them) and reached out to your roommate on instagram nine months post break up after being thoroughly blocked for several months just to ask if you were still roommates and then to very cryptically reveal that he had in fact found the spoons (among other, mystery items that he did not reveal and you also have no idea what they are) in his car that he had not driven for a year cause he decided to make the worst financial decision of his life and buy a tesla and then tried to coordinate a meet up to drop off said spoons and mystery items which you did not want but you do want your spoons so you told him to either mail it or show up to your place of work when you were not scheduled only for him to entirely miss the point and still try to see you, then you reveal that you do not want to see him so he finally says that he will put on his big boy pants and mail it (though him actually mailing it is entirely unlikely) and also aparently hes gotten a perm since the last time you saw him and it looks terrible

[dear-ao3]

[dear-ao3]

do you ever watch videos of youtubers reading their own crappy wattpad x self insert fics and think to yourself man i would love to explain the sold to one direction trope to these kids, it would absolutely break them

[dear-ao3]

in case i havent convinced you to watch f1 yet maybe the man himself daniel howell can

[dear-ao3]

anthony bridgerton

[dear-ao3]

Do you like moths and if so what type of moth is your favorite

i got attacked by one of those lantern moths the other day and that was deeply upsetting. i like moth man.

[dear-ao3]

remember everyone. soup does not have to be hard to make. soup saves my ass at least three times a week. you don’t even need broth. and you can make it single serve. in like 15 minutes.

get some water put it in a pot. add a little bit of bullion or use broth if you have it. (one jar of bullion lasts me like months you don’t need a lot) add to that whatever the hell you want. soy sauce. oyster sauce. black vinegar. sesame oil. hoisin sauce. garlic powder. onion powder. salt and pepper. want it spicy? add chili flakes or oil or smoked paprika. literally whatever you have floating around in the cabinet or fridge will do. don’t forget! add something sweet (sugar honey maple syrup etc) to balance out the salt.

let it get hot. add in some vegetables. again, literally anything. whatever you got. can be frozen stuff. onions. corn. peas. edamame. broccoli. carrots. green beans. mushrooms. literally whatever. put in something with protein. tofu. meat of some sort.

wait until it boils. add some noodles. any kind of noodles. cook until the noodles are soft.

top with whatever you want. and there you have it. soup.