#and this was the thing my brain REALLY WANTED TO DRAW so i had to let it do its thing

[ravenzfeatherz]

christmas guitarspear stuff 😼

i told myself that i shouldn’t really make any christmas related art stuff and, you know, i was really planning on sticking to that, but here we are

i reread @deadgirlwalking91’s ‘The Mistletoe Match’ fic and just really couldn’t help but draw a scene from it with the two genocidal idiots that have been plaguing my brain lately (featuring the sweaters/jumpers/whatever you want to call them from the official holiday merch)

not too sure how accurate it is to what deadgirl had in mind, but i had fun drawing it so ^^

ps. here’s a little bonus thing lmao

[agent-yolk-writes]

A Nightmare in Devildom (Obey Me/Nightmare on Elm Street concept fic)

Basically what it says on the tin. A "what if MC was a survivor of freddy kreuger's torment before the events of OM" concept fic.

This is was of those weird ideas I came with this during the early covid lockdown period where my insomnia got really bad to the point where I was borderline delirious. I meant to get this out during October for spooky season vibes but after three Octobers came and went and Obey Me isn't getting any more updates, I figure I throw it into the pit before that happens. No beta we die like obey me as a franchise, I guess!

If this inspires you to write something similar, please let me know! If you want me to write more...please reconsider!

And, of course, happy holidays!

AO3 Mirror Link

Good lord, I look terrible. You thought as you looked at yourself in the mirror. When was the last time I got some rest?

Other than looking more visibly tired, you look...older. It was the face of a nurse finally coming home after back-to-back double shifts. The bags under your eyes could only get so dark, but thankfully you knew a demon who had so much concealer and foundation lying around that he wouldn’t know if a few went missing. 

You knew you shouldn’t be continuing this habit, but you can’t help it. Despite living in a mansion with the most powerful demons in Literal Hell(!!) in the past few weeks your brain is still not convinced that you’re safe from Him . Would he still have the balls to terrorize you still? Does he even know where you are? Surely he’ll just know when you disappeared without a trace, but you can’t afford to find out for yourself. 

As much as you wanted to tell the brothers, you didn’t want to drag them into this mess. After all, this problem only started just weeks before you were brought here. It came without warning, and suddenly it turned into a bloodied hurricane. To think He was the one that killed your friends and classmates back in the human world…you regretted not being able to do more for them until you were in His sights.

This opportunity with the exchange program was either a saving grace or a divine intervention, and you’re not going to let that chance slip away from you. You have the whole year to work on magic and potions and anything else that could possibly drive Him away if not kill him for good, and you highly doubt he’s going to forget about you. Knowing how to do magic is one thing, but putting it to memory is another. This wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t so damn tired. You’re trying so hard to pay attention in class, but you just end up more focused on trying to keep your eyes open lest you allow Him to strike at your most vulnerable. 

However, there is one possible solution. The only problem is that you needed to form a pact with his other brothers before he could even consider helping you, that slothful bastard. Belphegor knows how tired you are and how you would do anything for a safe and peaceful rest. There was no point hiding it from him as you were with the others. Oh, how you envied the way he could sleep the day away in his little prison cell…you could just punch him if only you had the strength.

…

You really didn’t feel good about the multi-layered lie you found yourself webbed into to get the pacts in the first place. You recently got Beelzebub’s pact, putting you at the halfway mark. He looked so happy about your ‘plan’ to impress Lucifer enough to have him make up with Belphegor that it made your stomach churn in shame. Is it really okay for you to do this? Wouldn’t it be easier to tell the truth? Out of all the brothers, you couldn’t help but feel guilty for lying to Beel.

But what if Lucifer points his finger at Belphegor if you bring it up before you’re able to finish explaining? Would it destroy all the progress you made? Would you make things worse ? If they draw parallels that your deprivation is somehow related to the seventh-born’s sleep-related powers…only Lucifer would have an answer different from the other five. That’s why you have to keep up this facade for as long as you can. That’s why you need to stay awake. To find a way to protect yourself as well as the others. 

Your new friends at Purgatory Hall, bless their hearts, were none the wiser. Considering two of them were actual angels, you would’ve expected at least Luke to confront you with tears in his eyes about your health at least a month in. He makes a big talk about how you should never trust ‘those demons’ before having lunch with Beelzebub. Sometimes you think Solomon is giving you weird looks whenever you make eye contact with him. It’s probably the sleep-deprived paranoia, but you hope it’s nothing. You’ve been getting away with it for this long, so what? 

Tomorrow you have to stay over at Diavolo’s castle as part of an exchange party sleepaway camp or something. If you’re lucky, you can have a room for yourself. You don’t pack your go-to methods for staying awake until right before everyone heads out.

~

The steaming heat of the boiler room did not warm the chill in your bones one bit. 

You should know the inner workings of this hellscape by now. It was His favorite hunting ground, after all. However, something seems different this time. Everything felt…a bit shifted to the right, in a way. On top of that, there’s no sight or sound of Him anywhere. No taunting catchphrases, no spooky teleports he’s fond of doing, not even the shilling sound of his claw on metal when he’s close. This is probably his new trick, you think. Lulling you into a false sense of security before-

You turned around, involuntary flinching as you braced yourself to be hit. Only to process seconds later that nothing’s coming. In fact, there was no sign of life behind you in the first place. Damn it, he really was playing with you at this point. As soon as you let out a sigh of relief, you heard someone screaming from the other side of the room. You couldn’t tell who they were, but that’s not going to stop you. You ran towards the sound before you let the dread wash over you. 

“I’m coming!” You yelled at them. “Wake up! He can’t hurt you if you’re awake!” You were so focused on tilting your head up to project your voice to the other person that you didn’t realize you hit a dead end until you ran into a wall of pipes. “Oh, god damn it!” You cursed, pivoting on your foot to turn around and run even faster. 

What happened next happened too fast. You didn’t know where you were going. Everything is starting to blur together. A pipe managed to burst the same second you turned your head to follow the noise, immediately blinding your vision with steam and a “Shit!” jumping out of your mouth. The suddenness of it all made you lose your momentum and you feel yourself stumbling forward. You didn’t have time to brace yourself for the sharp object that’s going right through your- 

You wake with an audible gasp, hands going up to your throat. The sound of your racing heart and your uneven breathing replace the sounds of pipes and steam. You looked around in the darkness and could barely see two bodies sleeping in their respective beds. Ah, that’s right. This is the first night of Diavolo’s retreat, and you find yourself paired to a room with Asmodeus and Simeon. In an attempt to pretend you’re asleep ended up having you fall asleep for real. You couldn’t help but think how pathetic you were for letting your guard down for one second and falling into His hands again after so long all because you were waiting for someone to finish their 20-step overnight skin routine.

With a shuddered sigh, you carefully slipped out of your bed and into the hallway in hopes you could clear your thoughts without disturbing your roommates. 

Thanks to the occasional jittering of a Little D doing their nightly duties, the halls of a demon lord’s castle don’t feel as haunted as you would think. The lights were dimmed but not out completely, which gave way for the moon to shine in as its own source of light. Had you been carrying a candle in a brass holder you would’ve thought you stumbled into one of those old gothic novels. You didn’t have a real destination in mind, but you made sure you remembered which room you were assigned to just in case. 

At some point during the night, you ended up in one of the lounge rooms, curled up on a couch facing the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, and looked up at all the stars. It has always been a comfort for you. You even began reading about them in an attempt to stay awake back in the human world. You thought you could recognize some of the constellations, but there are always a few stars here and there that turn it into an unrecognizable shape. At least you have new material to read about when you’re back in your room at the House of Lamentation. 

The soft calling of your name from the door broke your serene silence followed by a, “Is that you?”

A small gasp managed to escape your throat before you were able to put your hands over your mouth. You curled into yourself at first so whoever it was can’t see your head poking out from the back. After a few seconds, it finally clicked as to who it was.

Sheepishly, you stick your head out. “Hi, Barbatos.” You said, voice croaking in unexpected use. Even though it was dark and his figure obscured, you could make out that he was holding some kind of tray. “Am I not supposed to be here? I’m sorry. I’ll go back and…”

“It’s fine.” He assured you. “I heard someone walking around, so I’ve taken the liberty to brew some chamomile tea for them should they feel restless. Would you like some?”

“...”

Tea does sound nice, but the fact that it was chamomile made you hesitate. At the same time, Barbatos just made it, so it would be rude to let it go to waste.

“...That would be nice. Thank you.”

He made his way over to the other side of the couch. Part of you wanted to sit up and be proper when drinking, but even thinking about adjusting your posture makes you tired. Still, you make an effort to reach over to take the tea cup from the butler’s hands. Barbatos took this opportunity to start talking. 

“This is your first time spending the night at a castle, I presume?” You made an affirmative noise as you sipped, not wanting to point out that it’s not just any castle you’re sleeping at. “I reckon slipping in a new bed right as you got settled in would put anyone’s nerves on edge.”

You put your cup down as you replied, “I guess you can say that.” 

He looks at you quizzically. “Is something amiss? I’ll inform the Young Master right away.”

“It’s…It’s fine, Barbatos. Thanks for worrying.” You took another sip before letting out a sigh. “I’ve always had trouble sleeping, you can say. I get…these really bad nightmares that make me stay up for days on end. They were so terrifying and real…I kept wondering if I was losing my mind. I’ve tried every remedy in the book to stop them but…” You stopped to let a yawn out. “Sorry…As I was saying, I tried everything the doctors thought could help me. They even brought in a priest thinking it was ‘dream demons’ or something.” You paused, replaying the last thing you said. “Are dream demons even a thing here?”

“They are a form of lesser demons, yes.” The butler answered. “They’re relatively harmless as individual beings, but can pose a threat in large numbers or if they get close to a human.”

“Well, that’s reassuring.” You told him bitterly. 

“If it brings you any comfort, just know that they’re not powerful enough to be able to enter the human world on their own. Only certain powerful demons have the authority to travel to that realm directly. Such as the Young Master and Lucifer, for example.”

You couldn’t help but huff out air through your nose in relief. Suck on that, Pastor John. 

“...So yeah. Just before I was summoned here, they put me on a clinical trial for a medication that…reduces? Suppress? It, like, stops giving me dreams entirely, and they work. Forgot the name though. And I coincidentally ran out just before I was transferred here so…yeah.” Your eyes looked over to the butler. “Sorry I didn’t mention it earlier, I guess. I keep getting roped into whatever the brothers get themselves into that I never really had time to check on myself.”

Barbatos didn’t respond immediately. You were too busy concentrating on balancing the tea on your stomach to spare a glance over to your nighttime companion to see what kind of face he was making. Would he make one? Shouldn’t he have known of this malady when your file was being processed? Maybe, because of their biology, demons don’t worry about these kinds of conditions. You mulled around internally in a tired haze before realizing that your eyes were slowly creeping shut. With a soft sigh, you moved the plate to the nearest table and stood up slowly.

“Anyways, thanks for the tea. Compliments to the chef.” You couldn’t help but let out a big stretch followed by an even bigger yawn. “I’ll head back to bed now. No guarantee I’ll sleep though.” You let out a huff that was supposed to be your attempt at a dry laugh. “You should get some rest too. Big day ahead, y’know? See you in the morning.” And with that, you exited the room and into the dim hallway.

The small smile Barbatos had dropped as soon as your back was turned to him. It was no secret that your time as a transfer student was being hindered by your lack of sleep. Even your recent medical file was perplexing in figuring out the cause of this disorder. It’s not genetic nor was it caused by a major traumatic event. Perhaps it’s something else? You did mention dream demons, after all, albeit it was more of a speculative idea that was brought up by your doctors in order to get a man of the cloth involved. It definitely couldn’t be Belphegor’s meddling, he thinks. He wouldn’t know about the human’s arrival.

It looks like he’ll have to do some digging after this exchange party concludes. He might need to start gathering evidence now while the human is still here. Diavolo will need to get involved, there’s no doubt about that. He would do anything to ensure the health and safety of the exchange students, after all. 

~

When everyone converged for a tour around the castle, some had noted that you looked less sluggish than usual. You simply waved them off, making up an excuse about the mattress not being up to human standards. Hopefully, you didn’t offend the demon prince when you said that. 

Still, you can’t deny that you feel a little well-rested. You did remember trying a method where you close your eyes for 15 minutes, wake up for another 15, close your eyes again, rinse and repeat. You usually had an alarm for this technique, but you didn’t want to disturb Simeon or Asmodeus as much as you already did slipping in and out of bed. You didn’t think you were able to keep track, but you did somehow, give or take a few minutes. Now you can actually pay attention to that cute little demon acting as the tour guide, explaining the intricate history of all the subjects painted on these beautifully crafted portraits. You couldn’t help but smile seeing Diavolo puffing his chest in pride when the Little D started talking about his father, the current Demon King. 

(But when it was mentioned that he's been sleeping at the bottom of Devildom for millennia you couldn't help but feel jealous. The most powerful being of all the realms is casually sleeping the decades away while you don’t even get the privilege of an hour of uninterrupted rest.)

You looked at the other paintings decorating the hall. Some plaques are written in what you can only presume is some kind of archaic language that only demons would know. If you could understand at least a part of it, then maybe you can get a deeper understanding of these pictures. 

A gentle call of your name and a not-so-gentle clap on your back broke your weak concentration. You tore your eyes away to meet Diavolo’s gentle gaze. “I see that her beauty managed to draw you in?” 

You blinked, trying to process what he said. “I-I’m sorry, whose beauty? I was…too focused on figuring out what the plaque said.” You managed to blurt out, causing the prince to chuckle.

“Oh, that? It simply reads ‘The Queen of Devildom’. In other words, that’s my mother.” His gaze turned to the painting, but you stayed fixated on him. He continued by adding, “This painting and some vague memories are all I have of her. She passed away several centuries ago when I was still an infant. My father would always talk about how…” And he continued to drone on from there. It wasn’t his fault, and you were genuinely trying to cling on to every word he’s saying because it’s important to him and you wanted to leave a good impression. On the other hand, the bleariness in your eyes started to cloud your vision again as a result of your lack of sleep. So you avert your gaze back to the painting unintentionally so you can wipe it away, biting your tongue to restrain the yawn that comes with it. Part of you hopes that Diavolo thinks that you’re speechless and moved to tears.

That thought quickly vanished when you opened your eyes to the painting. 

There was a choking noise, and you almost didn’t realize it came from you. It felt like the world around you completely disappeared, and only you and Him were the only inhabitants. 

Devildom seemed to freeze over the moment you made direct eye contact with the painted eyes of your tormentor. His scarred face did nothing to hide that cocky smirk he loves to wear. He’s holding up his bloodied claw to you in a way that couldn’t be anything else but a taunting gesture, as if he knows what he’s doing to you. His other hand wrapped around the back of a bloodied woman. By the way, the painting is framed, you assumed she was supposed to be sitting. Unfortunately, you know that’s not the case here. Her head dipped back, obscuring her face from you. You assumed she was originally wearing either a white or a similar light-colored dress, but that didn’t matter as it was dyed by the blood seeping out of that four-lined wound in her chest that you knew all too well. Just the sight alone made you reach for your hip where an old wound dimly throbs at the clothed contact. 

You didn’t dare move your gaze. You needed to keep an eye on him. 

“Hey…!”

You knew it. This opportunity to fly off his radar and find a way to kill him for good while he’s not looking was too good to be true.

“...!”

How did he even get here? Did he follow you down when you got summoned? What will he-

“...!!”

Time seemed to resume the second someone grabbed onto your shoulders and turned you around. You wanted-no, needed to keep an eye on him. Sadly, you don’t have eyes on the back of your head. Instead, you were forced to look at Diavolo's worried eyes. You didn’t even let him get a word in before you began panicking. 

“What have you done?!” You yelled. You pointed to the painting behind you. “Can’t you see I’m trying to protect you!”

“Protect us from…who?”

“Him!” You pointed to the portrait.

Only the painted eyes of a woman stare back at you.

It was too late for you now. The moment you allow yourself even to think you’re away from his control, you end right back into his hands. 

Nowhere is safe, not even in hell.

A maniacal laugh fills your ears as everyone crowds around your panicked state.

[mystwrites]

Snowed In (Squealing Santa 2k24)

Summary: Akutagawa doesn’t have fond memories of snow, but luckily for him, Atsushi is there to remind him that being snowed in isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

A/N: @squealing-santa gift for mango!anon!🥭💞i really hope you enjoy this fic w/atsushi cheering akutagawa up. also, i had a drawing from months back so here’s a little addition to your gift!😁

Much to the shock of everyone in Yokohama, there was a rather nasty snow storm that had rolled in. For the past few days, it’s been snowing hard, resulting in everyone being confined indoors. Most loved it, Atsushi even expressed his happiness with being locked indoors with Akutagawa until the storm blew over but Akutagawa didn’t necessarily share the same sentiment.

He wasn’t against spending time with Atsushi. He loved being around his boyfriend. The problem was the snow. First of all, there was way too much snow, keeping everyone indoors. Akutagawa had wanted to go out and do some last minute shopping but the weather had other plans.

Secondly, Akutagawa hated the snow, specifically heavy snow storms. It reminded him of living life in the slums as a child who was ignored when he was seen begging for scraps of food or digging in the ground for roots and bugs to munch on. It was a horrible reminder of how he was one insignificant person out of a billion people on this planet.

Deciding that his day was ruined in more ways than one, Akutagawa flopped onto the couch, grumbling to himself as he buried his face into the cushion. When he heard Atsushi ask if he was okay, his mumbling stopped and he huffed in annoyance, choosing to ignore his boyfriend who innocently just wanted to know if he was okay. A part of Akutagawa felt horribly guilty, remembering that he vowed to work on his horrendous communication skills but his pride kept him from giving in and giving Atsushi a decent apology.

Much to his shock however, Atsushi drew the curtains closed and sat next to Akutagawa in silence, moving his feet so they could sit together. This prompted Akutagawa to sit up and switch his position, his head now replacing where his feet previously where. As a hand gently ran through his hair, Akutagawa sighed, wishing that Atsushi would do something in an attempt to make him turn off his brain for a few minutes.

“Ryuu, I know you might not be in the mood,” Atsushi began, gently running his fingers through Akutagawa’s hair. “But can I attempt to make you feel better?”

As if the gods answered him, Akutagawa nodded, deciding that he didn’t care what Atsushi did. As long as it meant he could forget about the snow storm and his past involving snow storms, he would be fine with it.

“Also, do you mind telling me what’s bothering you?” Atsushi gently ran his thumbs along Akutagawa’s cheeks, the mafioso sighing with content at the sensations.

“I’d prefer not to delve into my past, Weretiger.” he replied, closing his eyes as Atsushi began to stroke his hair again. “Maybe once I’m feeling better, I’ll confide in you.”

“That’s fair.” Atsushi then playfully tried to pull his lips upwards into a smile. “Can I at least see you smile?”

“No.” Akutagawa said, rolling his eyes. “I don’t feel like smiling, Weretiger.”

The touches on his head ceased and Akutagawa whined at the loss of touch. He loved whenever Atsushi played with his hair. However, he jumped in shock when he felt fingers tickling the sides of his neck.

“That’s okay, I’ll just make you smile myself!~” Atsushi giggled, now tickling his lover with gentle scribbles. “We both know you’re starting to enjoy receiving tickles!~”

Akutagawa swatted Atsushi away, ready to yell at him and tell him to screw off, but deep down, he knew Atsushi was right. Ever since Atsushi grew brave enough to tickle him, Akutagawa slowly realized that being tickled wasn’t so bad, it just depended on who did it and how it was done.

He also remembered his tickling seemed to cheer Atsushi up every single time he witnessed him down in the dumps. Maybe it would work for him as well and maybe…just maybe Akutagawa wanted to laugh and be at Atsushi’s mercy for once. Maybe he just wanted to forget about his past and have fun with his favorite person.

“Wow! You normally never let me tickle you!” Atsushi giggled, tickling the sweet spot below Akutagawa’s chin, receiving a sweet giggle. “May I keep going?”

Sighing as his neck was left alone, Akutagawa was about to nod but froze. He suddenly felt really shy. Deciding to make Atsushi work, he got up and bolted, heading to the bedroom.

Atsushi gave chase, easily catching up and grabbing Akutagawa around the middle. Together, they went crashing down onto the bed, both young men giggling as they fought for the upper hand. Eventually, Atsushi won, sitting beside Akutagawa and holding his shoulders down to the bed.

“Y-you have my permission.” he finally said, cheeks flushing as Atsushi gave him three more kisses. “But I’ll admit, it’s pretty difficult to make me laugh out loud, especially when I’m not in a good mood. Are you up for the challenge?”

A grin formed on Atsushi’s face. “Oh, I’m up for it alright! Prepare yourself because you are gonna start laughing in no time!~”

The tickling started on Akutagawa’s stomach, the sensations very gentle compared to the tickling Akutagawa normally gives Atsushi. It felt nice though, the touches threatening to make him giggle, yet we’re quite tolerable, nearly relaxing depending on where Atsushi tickled. As Atsushi’s fingers danced along his waist, Akutagawa squirmed a little more, his cheeks heating up as he pursed his lips together. His waist was more ticklish than his stomach, that’s for sure.

Now things were becoming difficult. Akutagawa was more sensitive around his hips than his waist, the light tickles on his hipbones threatening to make him laugh. Atsushi seemed to sense this as well and surprised Akutagawa by squeezing at the squishy flesh just below his ribs.

Shaking his head, Akutagawa rolled to the side and tried to curl up, his face now plastered with a huge smile. Willing himself to not laugh was even more difficult now, Atsushi tickling at his more ticklish spots. The tickles under his ribs now changed to his thighs, Akutagawa weakly squirming and finally dissolving into soft fits of giggles that became louder as Atsushi squeezed the spot above his knees.

“Aahahahahaaa!! Nohoho!!” Akutagawa cried, reaching out to grab the tickling hands. “Nohohot thehehere!!”

“Aww! I found a tickle spot!~” Atsushi cooed, laughing as Akutagawa cackled upon getting his thighs squeezed. “Ryuu, are you boy crazy? If you’re ticklish here it means you’re boy crazy!”

“I-I’m nohohot!!” Akutagawa protested, slapping Atsushi’s hands away with a squeal. “Dohohon’t tehehease mehehe like that!!”

“But it must be true if you’re laughing this much! Or maybe you’re crazy for me?~” Atsushi got off briefly and resorted to lying against Akutagawa, grabbing a foot and gently scribbling. “See? Look, you’re laughing so much!~”

Akutagawa’s feet kicked out and he started to scramble for purchase, doing his best to squirm away from Atsushi. He was getting too ticklish to stay still, laughing harder with each passing second as Atsushi kept tickling his feet.

“Ihihi’m gohohonna…AAAHHAHA!! K-kihihill you…NOOHOHO!!!” Akutagawa rolled onto his side and kicked out, unsure if he wanted to kick Atsushi in the face or let him keep going. In the end, he resorted to allowing Atsushi to keep going.

It all became even worse, Akutagawa arching his back with a howl as he felt Atsushi lie on top of him and lift up one arm, threatening to tickle his armpit. Knowing he was screwed if Atsushi tickled there, he used his free hand to protect himself, pushing Atsushi’s hand away each time it drew near.

“Come on, Ryuu.~” Atsushi sang, laughing as Akutagawa refused. “Come on! Let me tickle you here!~”

“Absoluhuhutely nohohot!!” Akutagawa argued, laughing even more as he defended his armpit with his free hand. “Nohohot thehehere!!”

“Where?~”

“My ahaharmpits…WAAHAHAHA!! NO! NOHOHO!! AHAHTSUSHI!!”

Knowing he made a grave error, Akutagawa covered his face with embarrassment. He fell for a trick he normally would’ve used on Atsushi! The weretiger was stealing every trick he had used on him in the past! Now, all Akutagawa could think about were the relentless scribbling fingers tickling his worst spot.

Atsushi dug his fingertips into Akutagawa’s armpits a little more, the mafioso responding by shrieking with laughter and rolling from side to side. Seeing that the squirming became slightly dangerous for him, Atsushi got on top of Akutagawa’s taking a seat on his waist. Unable to stop Atsushi as his arms raised up over his head, Akutagawa let out a snort, practically howling as Atsushi kept tickling him gently but relentlessly.

The tickling became unbearable as Atsushi kept his fingers underneath Akutagawa’s arms. Each scribble left the mafioso in stitches, his face and stomach hurting from laughing so much. As Atsushi suddenly used his thumbs to rub deep circles into Akutagawa’s armpits, the man finally broke, his eyes filling with tears of mirth and his lungs aching for an ounce of oxygen.

This method worked wonders. Akutagawa for a split second had no idea why Atsushi started to tickle him and had no clue as to why he was being so gentle yet so merciless all at once. When he finally did remember, it was only when the tickling became too intense, Atsushi’s fingers staying at the hollows of his armpits for way too long.

“AHAHALRIGHT!!” Akutagawa wheezed, cackling as Atsushi used both hands to tickle his armpits. “IHIHI CAHAHAN’T TAHAHAKE IT!! I SURREHEHENDER!! MERCY!!”

“Are you begging, Ryuu?~” Atsushi teased, alternating between tickling Akutagawa’s lower set of ribs and his armpits. “Are you begging for me to have mercy on you? That’s so unlike you! Am I tickling you good?~”

Akutagawa nodded, snorting and laughing, squealing and screaming as his armpits and flanks got tickled relentlessly. “YEHEHES!! AAAHH! OKAY!! OKAHAHAY!! MEHEHERCY!”

Hearing the plea for the tickling to stop, Atsushi slowed to a stop, but not before he gave Akutagawa’s neck a raspberry, tickling his armpits for good measures. When he was satisfied, Atsushi released him, Akutagawa sighing with relief and satisfaction.

“Breathe for a minute then tell me.” Atsushi said, running his fingers through Akutagawa’s hair. “Take all the time you need.”

After a few minutes, Akutagawa looked into Atsushi’s eyes. “I…I hate snow storms.” he began. “They remind me of the nights I struggled to keep my sister and friends alive…and I always remember how people looked at us, making everyone, especially me feel insignificant.”

Before Akutagawa continued to ramble, Atsushi suddenly pressed their lips together, Akutagawa reciprocating and kissing back with an eagerness neither knew he had. He felt relief from not only explaining what was going on, but knowing Atsushi would never make him feel insignificant.

“You’re the most important person in my life, Ryuu.” Atsushi whispered, kissing Akutagawa’s cheeks as quickly as he could, giggles beginning to spill. “And I’m gonna make sure you know that anytime it snows like this!~”

Akutagawa let out a giggle as Atsushi kissed down his neck, flinching when he felt fingers dancing along his belly. “S-so yohohou’re going to tihihickle me during snohohow storms?”

Everything paused. “Only if you want me to.” Atsushi replied, sitting upright. “If you wish for something else, I won’t tickle you.”

“N-no…I…uhhh…I-I would love it if you tickled me during these moments of insecurity…” Akutagawa stammered, his cheeks now bright red all over again. “It makes m-me feel like you want me…”

“Of course I want you!” Atsushi exclaimed, suddenly pulling Akutagawa’s arms up over his head, forcing his laughter to return. “And I’ll prove it by tickling you from your ears…” Atsushi nibbled on Akutagawa’s earlobes, making him laugh. “All the way to your toes.” Atsushi reached back and gently tickled the underside of his lover’s toes, Akutagawa throwing his head back and howling.

“NOOHOHOHO!!” he laughed, gasping as Atsushi stopped and pinned his wrists out to the side.

“I’ll do that only if you want me to though.” Atsushi said, releasing Akutagawa’s arms to cup his bright red face. “I’ll never tickle you if you don’t wish for me to.”

Akutagawa smiled a genuine smile and knew what he wanted. Atsushi could sense it too and he grinned. “I…I want you to do it.” he admitted.

“Whenever it snows or at any point?”

“Whenever you sense that my past is coming back to haunt me, Atsushi.”

The weretiger smiled at the use of his first name, Akutagawa smiling back at him as they kissed again before Atsushi pulled away and started to leave the bed. Getting up to check outside, Atsushi made his way over to the window and slid the curtains aside.

Despite having been playing around for a while, it was still snowing, the snow falling with more intensity than it had been before. Seeing this, Atsushi rushed back over and grabbed Akutagawa’s ankle, the mafioso letting out a scream as fingers began to dance all over his right foot.

“It’s still snowing rather hard.~” Atsushi said, giving Akutagawa’s ankle a tug and bringing him to the edge of the bed. “Think you can handle more?”

Akutagawa thought about it, but he didn’t want anymore tickling. His lungs would explode. He did smile but shook his head, Atsushi instantly releasing him, but Akutagawa had something else in mind.

“No tickling…but,” he grinned as Atsushi instinctively leaned down upon his shirt being rugged on. “I wouldn’t mind a kiss or two.”

Atsushi giggled and pushed him down, leaning over him. His lips pressed against Akutagawa’s, making the dark haired man sigh. As Atsushi helped him up, he pulled them both back down, Atsushi laughing as he suddenly was launched to the left. Akutagawa grabbed Atsushi and grabbed his sides, making Atsushi burst into laughter instantly.

“N-no! NO, YOU LIHIHIED TO MEEHEHEE!!” Atsushi shrieked, cackling as Akutagawa straddled his waist.

“No, I did receive that kiss I wanted. I just think it’s time for you to reap what you sow.” Akutagawa replied, more than happy to flip those positions for a few minutes.

Despite the howling storm outside, all Akutagawa could hear was Atsushi’s adorable laugh. Maybe being snowed in wasn’t so bad after all and maybe, just maybe his bad memories would slowly be replaced with memories such as having Atsushi tickle him to pieces and him getting his revenge soon after.

[harleiquina]

Hey! I'm late for the party (because being overworked and underpaid sucks and always ends up in burnout -not fully recovered as of now, just with spare time because its Christmas, I'm working and nobody is calling so I can delve in Tumblr as much as my heart desires-).

First of all... I wrote my original reply around 2 or 3 am because my dog woke me up and I couldn't fall asleep again. So probably I had a point and eventually lead to something else because... sleepy brain goes brr.

About the writing

It is true that between saying it or just leave it out the text, leaving it out of the text is the safer option. There is also the posibility that it was planting an idea that never truly came to be so it is just dangling there with no other purpose... it happened to me a few times that I plant a seed of something in a story and then completely forget about it and sometimes I remember and remove it. I don't know how the time frame and due dates are in the process of creating a comic (if it was written arch per arch or if NG had all planned out and later came up with the different issues) but I guess that is they were going issue per issue -writing, drawing, coloring, formating and eventually printing it- there weren't many options to go back and fix something that didn't worked.

And yes... these were the '90s so... there isn't much to do about it.

In the end of the day, Sandman isn't Hob's story. Maybe there was a chance that if audiences liked him enough there could've been a limited run series of him through time and it didn't happened maybe there was a plan to do so but audiences preffered Death over him (can't blame them). Then the audience could've see him after his meeting with Morpheus and maybe growing a backbone eventually to stop his bussiness with the Slave Trade. We will never know.

Shipping and willingfully-ignorant fans

I'm not into shipping either (I'm not going to deny that in any fandom some edits or fanarts are cute) and in this particular case, even if I understand from where it comes from... I'm so done with it. Maybe if instead of casting the son they would've gone with the father things wouldn't have gone that far 🤣

Mischaracterization is a common phenomena in any fandom, sometimes it could be the main shtick to the plot of one pice of fanfic but when the bee-hive fandom accepts it as official headcanon there is no turning back and you just have to ignore it.

Had fandom had a more accurate-looking Hob they might've reacted differently. I haven't read the comics but I've seen a few panels... and he kind of grosses me out. There is no question there that he was on any easy-way to do money (thief, soldier, slave trader) with little to no remorse. But shippers only see what they want to see and leave any kind of nuance flies out the window.

There are (possibly) many fanfic writers that took Hob's dark past (in general) and did created well grounded stories where he gets to reflect on what he's done and how to atone for it. But fluff is fluff and it gets more views. And I think that's the root of it all... some people just want a cozy coffe-shop AU because they are only in there for the romance, others want to read something that will make them question either the character or themselves, analize how certain events played out or could happen. Pretty much as with movies you have the blockbusters, the historic dramas, the romance and an audience for each one of them.

It might feel like some of them are glossing over a very serious subject that should be treated with respect however there is a different place to tackle those subjects on... hopless romantic fanfics are not the right place.

However there is also those who go full "he did nothing wrong" and this could stem from both options: people who are racist themselves, or people that has no idea of what it being a part of the Slave Trade really means. Given that History is so far back, is easy to "forget" or even imagine the living conditions back then. Of course, those who have grandparents or greatgrandparents that have experienced it in the flesh will not let it fly.

In the end of the day it all depends on whoever is reading. They can be affected by it, shocked, outraged or not... that's how Art works and none of us has the right moral compass to tell others if they should be ashamed or not.

We can tell them to knock it off or at least tag properly, but thats an entirely different can of worms 🤣

Hob Gadling’s Involvement in the Transatlantic Slave Trade between the 16th and 19th Century

The Fallacy of (clumsily written) Racial Reconciliation or: Is show/Hob really different from comics!Hob

I originally wrote this a while back as a reply to someone else’s post, but since we’ve been discussing “Men of Good Fortune” (comics) and “The Sound of Her Wings” (Netflix) in our community over the past weeks, I’ve expanded on a few points of my original thoughts.

This post discusses difficult topics, systemic racism, questions of social (in)justice and problematic angles in writing. If that’s not your thing, this is the exit sign…

A question that comes up quite frequently is the following:

Is show!Hob different from comics!Hob?

Hob’s conversation with Dream in 1789 (and not just 1789) in the show has been significantly altered (compared to the comics), and it makes it tempting to believe this somehow makes him different regarding the more problematic side of his character.

In the comics, we have a bit of dialogue in 1789 that shows how deeply involved in the slave trade Hob was: “I sort of started it,” said with a hint of, dare I say, pride? And then brushing off Dream’s concerns by saying, “It’s a living.” Twice.

(They changed this to, “It’s just how it’s done”, and a shrug in the show.)

And it’s true: If this had been integrated into the show, it would have painted him in an even worse light. However, I personally think it was the wrong move to leave it out (Ferdinand Kingsley carefully voiced something along those lines as well btw). Because now the show pushed Hob’s whole involvement in the slave trade much more into the direction of, “Oopsie.”

Can we truly take leaving out the above dialogue as a hint that Hob might be a better person in the show? I’d like to really reflect on that--leaving out those comments can’t make him a better person. Even if we change his arc slightly and he “wasn’t that involved.” You’re involved, or you aren’t. There is no, “I tried a bit of slave trading and decided it wasn’t for me.” One could even argue it makes the angle of the show more problematic because it makes the slave trade a “little blip” in his timeline. Things like that can’t be a blip. I personally think the writers made a mistake here, but that’s obviously just my opinion.

If there wasn’t enough space in the show to expand on it (which I get for a side character), I feel they should have left out the slavery arc completely instead of keeping, but then minimising it (that might sound contradictory, but it only does if you don’t look at it too closely). It already didn't sit right with me 30 years ago to use slavery as a side note for showing a white person’s character development without properly examining the damage caused, and it still doesn't sit right with me now. It makes the plight of PoC a plot vehicle to centre white people’s guilt, and I always thought that’s a blind spot only white people have (and I’m white myself, to get that out of the road straightaway).

I’m not saying it couldn’t or shouldn’t have been used narratively. Or that you can’t show remorse and atonement/redemption for the most heinous acts (that’s not the same as forgiveness—I’ll get to that). Or that characters who have committed said acts are irredeemable. But it would have needed to be fleshed out instead of making it a comment in passing. Many books and movies do exactly that. But the point is that it’s never been fleshed out.

“But they had to shorten and streamline it…”—just no. Because to me (and ofc people are free to disagree), that exactly proves the point—centring the white guy while sidelining the people who suffer. I am a bit doubtful we’ll get anything remotely appropriate in the show after what we’ve already seen. Only time will tell, so I’m withholding final judgment at this point. Fact is: It is uncomfortable to watch for people with any sensitivity on the matter.

And yet, there is a lot of focus on leaving out Hob voicing his regret in 1889, since that (again) “would have painted him in a better light.”

While simultaneously regularly failing to mention that he proudly proclaimed he “invented” the triangle trade. Can we really pick and choose his traits like that? Hob is a materialistic opportunist who also has some regrets. That doesn’t mean he can’t exist as a character, or that we’re not allowed to like him (morally grey characters are often the most compelling ones). We don’t need to sanitise him though, or try to erase his problematic traits from canon. The same goes for other characters (yes, I’m looking at you, Dream, and I’m sure we’ll get to that very soon—in fact, we’re possibly starting tomorrow 🫣). If we are talking about Hob’s remorse, we are probably mostly thinking about Sunday Mourning, so I need to bring in issue #73 at this point (this is your spoiler warning if you don’t want to read ahead).

The Fallacy of Racial Reconciliation

Very plainly:

A black woman is used as a vehicle to forgive Hob. And said black woman has been written by a white male author for that sole purpose without giving her anything else to do. I personally think NG got that wrong. It was clumsy and insensitive to POC, and I really hope they change this for the show. It’s a fact that he really wasn’t good with writing black female characters in the whole run—they all get fridged in one way or another, and he even admits it in the Sandman Companion. And then turns around and basically implies that it's all okay now because “nothing bad” happens to Gwen once Morpheus is dead. She is allowed to be a vehicle for the character development of a white guy though. It’s just really insensitive, and I sincerely hope they don't put it in the show this way. And I’m glad that we're seeing hints it might not happen--at least the casting in the show hints at it (from Lucienne, Death and Rose to very likely turning Carla into a white man—we already met Carl, and that’s who he is IMHO).

There is also the not so small fact that Hob is, even in his guilt and shame (shame is always about yourself, and that’s actually very in keeping with his character), not honest with Gwen. The thing about him basically inventing the triangle trade, which he so proudly proclaimed in 1789?

The English who were so good at it? The “Jack” Hawkins he talked about in 1789? That’s actually this dude:

And Hob funded him 200 years before 1789, and enabled Hawkins. Hob was involved in what became the transatlantic slave trade well before 1789–he already funded it when he had money in the 1500s.

He carried that mindset around with him for literal hundreds of years and saw nothing wrong with it until at least (! more about that in a sec) 1789. Dream had to rub his nose in it, otherwise it wouldn’t even have occurred to him (or did it, and he just chose to ignore it--see below).

Hob has been written as a stand-in for humanity, British Imperialism and England over the centuries—with all that entails.

So how honest is he with Gwen? And how long, even after 1789, was he still involved, even after abolition in England (Somerset vs. Stewart declared slavery unlawful in England in 1772, but that wasn't true for the rest of the British Empire. Buying and selling slaves was only made illegal in 1807, while owning slaves only became unlawful with the Abolition Act of 1833, and it took another year to buy out slave owners to actually make it happen)? Because there’s still this:

“It got worse when they did [outlaw the slave trade]. You only needed one voyage in three to make a profit. You could afford to dump your cargo if… you spotted a British Man o’ War.” How does he know? Why does he have these nightmares? We can take a guess…

That’s not someone who tried it for a couple of weeks and then thought, “Sorry, my bad.” That’s someone who has been opportunistically involved from the 1500s and potentially until after slavery was unlawful in England, which it already was when he talked to Dream in 1789. So does his feigned ignorance of, "It's a living/It's how it's done?" really hold? Especially if he potentially kept going, even after that convo with Dream? When I wrote "between the 16th and 19th Century" in the header, that's exactly what I meant...

Guilt and Shame

Yes, what we see above and in all the other panels is guilt and shame. And it reminded me of this:

And I’d encourage everyone to really listen to what Jasper has to say, and sit with the feelings it brings up. Because I can still remember watching this in the George Floyd aftermath for the first time, and how deeply uncomfortable it made me—because he’s right.

Black people/PoC do not need to forgive and absolve white people from their guilt. They can if they wish to, but that’s their choice, not ours. It’s not for white people to absolve other white people from their guilt around the oppression of PoC. And that’s why it could be argued it’s not for white people to write a black character to do that in their stead either (they can of course, but then they need to live with the fact that people will call them tone-deaf). It could also be argued it is something that cannot be forgiven retrospectively, and white people need to be okay with that. It can only be worked on in the present with a view to the future. And as Jasper also so rightly points out:

The guilt is not even helpful (at least Gwen has the right sentiment there, but it’s still falls incredibly flat over all), and shame only centres ourselves.

Forgiveness vs Redemption

Hob Gadling's regrets don't make everything he did forgivable. I think it actually does the story a disservice if that’s our main takeaway, because this is truly one of the bits of The Sandman that’s written in an extremely tone-deaf manner. NG isn’t the first author who did this, but we can take something good and helpful from this, and that’s engaging with these questions instead of brushing them under the carpet—because that’s what literary analysis is about.

It should be clear that I do see Hob Gadling as narratively important because I see him as a stand-in for humanity, and more specifically, English history. And there is really so much to learn from that.

Writers can get things narratively right but still be emotionally tone-deaf due to their own blind-spots. We don’t need to assume malice, but we also don’t need to leave it entirely unchallenged.

And because of that, we can certainly see Hob as someone who has to live with his conscience, and the consequences of his actions, for the rest of his life and struggles with that (as he should). And maybe we can see him as someone who is now, finally, trying to do the work. Because that is what atonement and redemption actually mean:

Taking action to rectify past wrongs. Actively working against the harm once caused, and preventing it from ever happening again. And I hope that’s what he does, and the signs are there (but there are also still signs that he values covering up his immortality higher than e.g. telling Gwen the truth. And we can find a million excuses for why that is, but ultimately, none of them truly matter).

However, it is not the same as forgiveness from the people we have wronged. Forgiveness is not a prerequisite to redemption, although it can be a part of it if the person who has been wronged chooses to extend it. But the people Hob wronged are dead, while their descendants still need to live with the pain people like Hob caused to this very day. So while I don’t see him as irredeemable, I don’t think he needs to, or even can, be forgiven—especially not by black people (unless they choose to. But it is also fine if they don’t, and again, we need to be okay with that). And we could say, “But Gwen chose to.” To that, I say:

I wonder what Gwen would have said if he had been truly honest with her (which he wasn’t, see below panels). That wouldn’t have been an embrace is my guess…

[teethlordd]

Putting some guys in some fancy outfits

[pareidolla]

phew ok starting off brokeweek (???) day one with the darlingest monk birds belonging to @itsonlypolite and @wysteriaisapenguin! drawing them together gave me so much delight - thank you for bringing them into this world. a thousand kisses for them ♡♡

🫴 also a transparent version incase you want a little jpeg doll of your child

[seven-tastic]

sillies

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[moeblob]

explaining to a coworker I don't socialize out of work bc of The Anxiety. then later explaining why i have gray in my hair.... it's... still The Anxieties...... goin' gray since my early 20s........

[wis-art]

Women, so pretty, so shaped, i am so lesbian,,,

[yayforocs]

I Have Once Again Been Consumed By A Fic (Redstone and Skulk by @silverskye13

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

🍑, 🥦, 🥬, 🍒

for Storm, and

🍋(SORRY I HAD TO), 🍏, 🍇, 🥑

for Axelrod

Bonus I thought for a second about suggesting 🍏 for Finn and you can still answer it but then I had the thought he would say "Well, isn't everybody a little Queer?" and then leave it at that and that is making me laugh so much right now sorry

-@markbeakskisser

IM SORRY I. THOUGHT I POSTED THIS THREE DAYS AGO. In relation to the tags of this post I am already out of school. My last day was last Friday. Thank you a million for the ask I loved answering it. I don't know how coherent any of this post is, I was a madman when I answered it.

----

Tumblr. Nuked my post and I am losing my mind having to retype it and I'm HOPING I remember all my thoughts but. Normally I save it as a draft like five different times when I know it's going to be a long post BECAUSE I don't wanna lose the whole thing but. It was 3:30am when I had first seen this and went to answer it and I was completely cracking up over that idea for Finn because. It's FITTING. Especially cause like. Going off his car model and when the movie came out that man is like. He's like 53 or something. So he totally grew up in a time where that was probably even more unacceptable and that would so be like the trying to cope responce that goes in to just saying it to mess with people. Your stereotypical gentleman who is suave and overly sappy romantic and likes buys roses and boxes of chocolates and would throw his suit jacket down over a puddle even though it's NOT necessary. Oh and he's also GAY.

I just. Or like some interview sort of thing and the interviewer asks him something and that's how he responds and there is just a lengthy silence before the interviewer is like "....no.?" And he's like "oh" and then has to take a sip from his wine IM. SORRY.I JUst. I don't know why I have so many thoughts on this. I haven't even gotten into saying thanks for giving me an entire fruitbasket worth of things to answer. I'm pretty sure if I was an animal in a zoo so much of my enrichment would just come from these.

I don't know how you're so good at this incorrect quotes things with them.

For J.ackson Storm:

I don't know how you telepathically magically knew I was thinking about him but I suppose they are all ping-ponging around in my head like cable TV screensavers. I proceeded to space out here and have about 40 minutes worth of my own entire imaginary thing but I really need to dedicate a day to just sitting and thinking about him because I like him a lot and thought about him a lot(he's the whole starting reason for my Cars thing and actually the one I ended up liking first), and if it wasn't for EventsTM my brain probably wouldn't be so clogged trying to think about him naturally. I. I haven't even started any of the asks I'm going to stop now. This is gonna be a long one isn't it.

🍑 - is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

I feel like he'd be more comfortable receiving gifts because I feel like he would have a lot of trouble trying to get people gifts or having an idea on what to gift them. If it came up naturally(like he saw something that reminded him of someone else that they'd like) he'd probably have an easier time with it but if an event or holiday comes up he'd probably break in half. But also partly because of his popularity(he did a lot of online/iRacing/simulator competetive racing stuff, he was super good at it, and it's how he got offeree to race on actual tracks) he probably was used to being given things from winning events or from people that would support him. He's not very well rehearsed on what feelings are, so things like gift giving/recieving, which normally(keyword) involves feelings or knowing what other people would like sort of plays to his weaknesses.

I feel like if he ever did get anything that he was happy over getting, he probably wouldn't express it well(at all), but he'd either end up using it until he couldn't anymore(whether it's playing a video game till he's sick of it or something that is a 'practical tool' like a weighted blanket) or if it's a more sentimental/handmade thing he'd probably leave it on a high shelf where it couldn't get tampered with and perhaps most people wouldn't see it and be able to question him on it.

🥦 - does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

This is a really interesting one because I feel like he has a lot of things that can upset him, so i gotta mull over which ones would fall under the line of being a pet peeve and which is just something that sets him off. I feel like he would not be able to do getting interrupted at all. And unless it's like someone he's really REALLY close with, I feel like he wouldn't be big on touch either. There are veryy few times where be might not care or he might reach out first but even then 98% of the time it's probably better to just ask him if you can or to just not worry about it, even if it's something like just patting him on the shoulder or whatnot. Even I ask, of course. Even if most the time I get a "yes" or "sure", just giving the choice makes a big difference.

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

These flag things always trip me up because in my head from my understanding red flags are like "Hey, you should probably end the relationship over this, it's pretty bad" but then I'll hear things like people saying it's a red flag to do something that is completely arbitrary and I can't tell if I've lost my mind or they've lost my mind. Then again, I'm kinda super biased even with beige flags because there are very few, if any things that my F/Os can do that I'll be like "://" over, yknow? Cause like, if they did something that off-put me that much I probably wouldn't like them that much! Am I reading into this too much? I probably am.

However. If we're talking from an OUTSIDE perspective, like what other people might consider beige flags for him, there's a right amount of things I could say because he was one of the ones that I got critisizm for liking him. I feel like how quickly he gets frustrated over things might be something that would get pointed out, cause in the book about his backstory, after something like getting sensory overloaded on a couple occasions he would get really upset/angry to the point of storming off(cough pun intended). But I also completely understand that and I think that adds to my bias😅. And I'm sure many would be turned off by his cold demeanor.

🍒 - if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

Okay, I really like this question because I get to talk about how he spends 90% of his freetime just playing through racing simulators. But I need to you picture the whole complete setup of having the wheel and pedals and things that you hook up to your computer and like the several monitors. Like a dedicated room or corner of a room to it. And that's what he spends most of his time doing. He is online a lot but his social media presence does not exist it all. He is not very outdoorsy either so if we are spending the day together a lot of it will be spent either playing games together(sometimes I can convince him to try out another game with me) And most the time, even if we are playing together on like an Xbox controller or something, I'm still spending about the whole session just fawning over his skills at it. Sometimes I can grab his attention with something else for a little bit if I end up cooking or knitting or such. You should've absolutely seen the face he pulled and reaction he had over me knitting.

------

For Axlerod:

🍋 - if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why?

Okay, I was giggling at first at the fact that you picked lemon for him because that's funny, and then I wanted to get into my story about how I actually really like lemons and sour candy is my favorite type of candy and whenever I get iced tea at restaurants I always take the lemon slice and just eat it and don't squeeze it in the tea but the FACT THAT THIS IS THE QUESTION TO IT IM. It's too early in the morning for this.

Okay I'm going to be real here IM GOING TO BE REAL HERE. Once I stop losing my mind. Truthfully. Okay. BECAUSE of the whole lemon thing. I do think he would have several answers for what he'd want to change about himself because asides from money and power that man IS insecure. I've already talked about my headcannon of him wearing his hat and like nevveerrr ever taking it off because it helps hide his curly hair right. That's why I have to squeeze him and love on him until a proper ego about his geniune self starts to form. And definitely not because I'd do it anyway regaurdless. Totally. I mean he is literally the kingpin of the lemons(movie captions call him kingpin, their words not mine!!), that man is messed up. Society probably tried to maul him. Humanized version of what a lemon is is nearly just any minority ever. Breaks down a lot? Faulty? Doesn't work right? Gets slander souly just for looks, typically ones they can't control? I mean, even asides from things like rust and dents and whatnot, cars like Acer's typically worked fine, but they got dubbed "fishbowl"(it's also his lisence plate) because of how they looked and it was the running gag. What gets dubbed a lemon is bulleted point #2 for why I cry over his speach, in this essay I will-

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

It's funny because for a long time when I was still sorting out how I identified, I was genderfluid at the time, and so I just dubbed all the characters I liked as pan and called it a night. I still do that now for a few reasons but then we will get off topic into my entire gender identity story! But also because of that, I don't have very proper elaborate stories of them realizing their feelings and such. There are a select few of them where I might have more particular queer headcannons or have more of a story for them, but I do think for Axlerod it would be something that he'd known about himself for a while. Like a longgg while. And he probably has moments of openly showcasing it or supporting it with pride flags and whatnot without caring about any negative stuff he might receive. He has to at least have one big open indulgence in it during pride month. I normally am more quiet during pride month but I don't mind indulging with him cause it makes him smile(I say, at 6 in the morning with half-lidded sleepy eyes and the most "I have a problem" smile of a grin).

🍇 - if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

Oohhhhmigosh. Blowing up the planet, probably? /joking. There's this whole entire thing in the story of him getting a little more tame in his havoc and it becoming slightly noticeable to others, because his vengeful scheming against the world eases up a bit now that he has someone to keep him a bit straight and that also doesn't want to kick him to the curb for him doing human things like. Being strange or a bit unconventional. And also because he now has an animal at home(me) to take care if and put time and energy into. And feed sandwhiches. So if we hadn't met, he'd probably still be just as unhinged as ever, if not a bit more destructive. Heck, I shudder to think about where myself would be if it wasn't for my F/Os! So maybe we'd meet in the midst of wrecking havoc(Kane can not cope with the concept of him and F/Os not meeting).

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

OKAY. I WISH I HAD GONE INTO BETTER DEPTH IN THIS DURING THE MOVIE WHEN WE WERE WATCHING IT. I don't know how niche this really is but I really like it. But with the whole newspaper thingy and it talking about the like Abyssian Desert that he crossed and the whole "around the globe" thing for the World Grand Prix like. I think he just enjoys doing that stuff. Which I suppose it's like yknow he is/has a Land Rover! Of course he does! But a Land Rover doesn't HAVE to do anything!! There are plenty that just go around on motorways! I think he just likes doing that stuff just for fun. That slight smile and sad pathetic wink(I love him) was not the same maddening smile during the Mel Dorado show and next to the Queen of England that say "I should probably be interrogated over something." Kane do NOT pull out pictures and clips. Even if they're in good quality. Maybe. Maybe later. Later. We can do that later in the day.

But I think he just enjoys going out and exploring. Going on like hikes or something. Ohmigosh it's. 6 in the morning and I'm covering my face and closing my eyes and giggling. Yes I've been working on this post for the past three hours straight, I've loved every second of it. I accidentally. Just typed. "-I've loved every second of him" and if that doesn't confirm my brain has been sucked into a hole then I don't know what does.

But anyway. I also really enjoy that stuff. Which is partly why I want a Jeep and why I like going on really long walks and just wandering into bits of land that I probably shouldn't be trespassing. We need to take a hike or something.

[hammerhead-jpg]

Lazy ahh doodles of some of the other pjo characters cuz they need some love too

[averlym]

(click for better resolution, etc.)

[mihhkael]

> Flower dance

[itseghost]

FIRST DA2 PLAYTHORUGH EVER DONE. if eel sick