#and this shit is starting to kill my motivation
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I think my favourite element of the writing in aftg is how Riko's downfall is utterly, entirely, beautifully self-inflicted.
Riko is power hungry, a glory seeker, jealous, cruel, vindictive and unable to share the spotlight. His worst actions and features come back to haunt him over and over in a way that is *incredibly* satisfying from a readers' perspective.
-Riko breaks Kevin's hand. Kevin leaves to become one of the foxes' best players, training them into a team worthy of finals and bringing them to victory with the game's final point
-Riko moves the Ravens to the southern district, placing his team directly in the path of the team that will eventually beat him
-Riko terrorises Kevin on the Kathy Ferdinand show, angering Neil into taking a stand against him (...which causes Andrew to re-evaluate Neil's worth, which leads to their deal, which leads to Neil staying with the Foxes...and so on)
-Riko kills Seth, who becomes a driving force for members of the team, particularly Alison, to beat the Ravens
-Riko setting Drake on Andrew further angers the Foxes and motivates them to beat him; Aaron in particular.
-This also results in Andrew sobering up sooner than he otherwise would have, arguably making him a stronger player and helping the Foxes reach finals
-Kidnapping Neil over Christmas break and forcing him to play as a backliner gives Neil an intensive course in Raven teamwork, drills, etc. Which Neil then teaches to the Foxes.
-Oh, and my favourite. They force Neil to play as a backliner against Riko. The very move which Neil then uses to block Riko from scoring in the final. Fantastic. Ten out of (jos)ten.
-Incidentally, beating the shit out of Neil and putting him in a different position causes the Ravens to vastly misunderstand/underestimate how Neil's abilities as a player have developed
-Forcing Neil into his natural appearance and helping his father find him leads to the most unifying moment for the Foxes of the entire series; the Foxes rally around Neil, and finally become one functioning, dedicated unit.
-and god, just when it seems like it couldn't get any better; Riko destroys Jean, taking one of his team's best players off the court before the match can even begin
Riko set almost every moment of his team's defeat into motion months before their match even began; the consequences of his cruelty not only weaken the ravens but fashion an opposing team which is stronger, more unified, and more determined than ever to beat Riko.
And it doesn't end with the match; Riko attempts to kill Neil, serving Ichirou all the justification he needs to dispose of his brother on a silver platter.
Riko Moriyama's fate is self-inflicted from start to finish, in the most deeply satisfying way possible.
#Would love to hear any more I missed!#aftg#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#clenches fist#i love a well thought-out villain
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You Love Me?
Jason Todd x Vigilante!Reader
Warnings: Adult Language, Dark Themes, Mention of Death, Reader get’s Shot, Weapons, Violence, Angst, Fluff, and Possibly Grammar Errors. (Sorry if I forgot any!)
Summary: After Y/N literally takes a bullet for Jason she finds out a big secret he’s been keeping from her thanks to Dick.
Word Count: 1,583
Author’s Note: This is actually my first story of 2025😬! Last month I just didn’t have any motivation to write. Also sorry if this is sloppy and sorry for postponing the release date! I’ve been having pain in my back and neck! Anyways, hope you all enjoy this short story!
Y/N was in her vigilante suit on a mission with Jason. Y/N is very close with Jason so most of the missions she goes on, he’s always right there by her side. Y/N’s vigilante name is Shadow. She picked that name since the suit she wears makes her look like a shadow. Her suit is all dark gray and the mask she wears covers her whole face.
Y/N’s father was a police officer and he got killed in the line of duty by Scarecrow during one of his tirades. That event is what motivated her to become a vigilante. She never wants a kid to go through with that she went through. At first she was just doing it to protect her mother and little sister but as time went on she wanted to protect her whole city. She was seventeen when she started fighting crime and has now been doing it for three years now. She recently became a part of the Bat team.
Her and Jason were at the docks fighting some gang members. There was three of them so from time to time Y/N or Jason would be fighting two people at the same time. Y/N finally took the guy she was fighting down. She was finally able to catch her breath. Jason was still fighting his guy.
Y/N’s eyes went wide when she noticed the third guy pull out a gun and aim it at Jason’s back. “Shit!” Y/N hissed with worry. Right when the guy pulled the trigger. Y/N jumped in front of Jason. Y/N felt the bullet go through her side.
When Y/N screamed out in pain everyone stopped. Jason’s eyes went wide under his red helmet when he turned around and saw Y/N laying down on the cold ground. “Fuck!” Jason said with panic in his voice as he kneeled down next to Y/N.
“Let’s go boys!” The guy who pulled the trigger said to other two guys. Jason didn’t care that the gang members were getting away. All he cared about was Y/N.
Before Jason could ask where the bullet hit her he saw the blood coming out from her left side. “J-j-Jason” Y/N stuttered in pain. “Shh don’t speak.” Jason told her taking off his jacket and putting it down on her wound to ease the bleeding. Jason used the device in his helmet to call Bruce.
“Jason. What’s going on?” He heard Bruce said. Bruce already knew something was wrong since that’s the only time Jason ever calls him. “Its Y/N. She got shot.” Jason told him. “Shit!” He heard Bruce hiss out. “Where did the bullet get her?” Bruce asked him. “Her left side.” Jason answered. “I’m tracking your location now. I’ll be there as fast as I can.” He heard Bruce tell him. “Just keep her stable.” Bruce told him in a stern tone and ended the call.
Jason decided to take her mask off since he can hear her struggling to catch her breath. His heart ached seeing the painful look in her eyes. He pressed both hands down onto his jacket. “Just stay with me Y/N. Help is on the way.” Jason told her. Y/N gave him a nod which made her groan out in pain. “Don’t move. Just keep your eyes open.” Jason told her with worry in his voice.
He was trying everything he can do to stay calm. Y/N used all of the strength and energy she has to keep her eyes open. She felt like she was paralyzed everywhere but where her wound is.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
When Bruce got there him and Jason carefully helped Y/N into the Batmobile. Jason followed the Batmobile to the Batcave on his motorcycle. When they got to the Batcave Bruce and Alfred immediately took Y/N to the medical room. Alfred has patched up everyone so he knew exactly what he was doing. He’s taken bullets out of Bruce many times.
Jason was in the main room with Dick and Barbara. Jason couldn’t stop pacing back and forth. “Jason, you need to sit down. You pacing like that isn’t helping your nerves.” Barbara told him. “What if she doesn’t make it!” Jason said as he stopped pacing so he was looking straight at Barbara and Dick. “Jason, she’s going to make it.” Dick told him. “She’s in good hands, Jason.” Barbara said adding on to what Dick was saying.
“If I was fucking paying attention this wouldn’t of happened!” Jason said with a mixture of frustration and anger in his tone. “Woah, Jason!” Dick started. “There is no way in hell that this is your fault.” Duck told him in a stern tone. “Bullshit!” Jason hissed. “She took that bullet for me!” Jason said as his anger grew.
Bruce walked into the room. He was still in his Batman suit he just didn’t have his mask on. “How is Y/N?” Jason asked with worry as he quickly walked up to Bruce. “She’s going to be okay.” Bruce answered which made everyone in the room feel relief. “So relieved to hear you say that.” Barbara said with nothing but relief in her voice.
Y/N is Barbara’s best friend and Barbara doesn’t know what she would do without her.
“Luckily the bullet didn’t go through her.” Bruce told them. “Alfred got the bullet out of her side and is stitching her up.” Bruce added.
“Can I see her?” Jason asked with a pleading look in his blue eyes. Bruce answered his question with a nod. “Follow me.” Bruce told him. Jason followed Bruce back into the medical room.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
After Y/N woke up Bruce had Alfred take her upstairs to Wayne Manor. Since she needs a lot of rest for some weeks he’s letting her stay in one of the guest rooms.
A couple of days have passed and Y/N was still bedridden. Dick and Barbara just showed up to visit Y/N and see how she was doing. When they walked into the room they did notice that Y/N was starting to get some color back into her face. “How are you feeling?” Barbara asked her standing by the bedside with Dick right next to her. “A little better than yesterday.” Y/N answered.
“If I didn’t have those pain killers I would be so fucked.” Y/N added which made Barbara and Dick let out a little laugh. “Its good to know that your sense of humor is still in tact.” Dick told her. “Don’t worry. They didn’t shoot out my sense of humor.” Y/N told him with a small smile.
“I’m surprised Jason isn’t here.” Barbara said. Jason has been by Y/N’s side almost every hour of the day. It would take Y/N forever to get him to leave so he could get some rest of his own. “You guys actually just missed him.” Y/N told them. “We did?” Dick said with one of his eyebrows raised. “I made the dumb mistake of telling him I was craving truffles from that fancy chocolate shop.” Y/N said with a sigh. “But that shop is across town.” Barbara said. “That’s what I told him but he didn’t care.” Y/N told her. “Damn, he’s crazy.” Barbra said as she shook her head. Y/N couldn’t help but giggle.
“Hey cut the man some slack. A guy does anything when he’s in love.” Dick said which made Y/N freeze. Barbara looked over at Dick with wide eyes. “What?” Dick asked in confusion. “You just told Y/N that Jason is in love with her.” Barbara told him which made his heart sink. “Oh, um, yeah my bad.” Dick said with a nervous sigh. “He’s in love with me?” Y/N asked Dick in a surprised tone in her voice. “Yeah he um told me a few months back.” Dick answered knowing he can’t take back what he said. “Oh my gosh.” Y/N said as she felt nothing but shock.
“Jason is so going to kill you.” Barbara told him. “Yeah yeah I fucking know!” Dick hissed as he ran one of his hands through his raven colored hair.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
After Barbara and Dick left Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about what she just found out. Jason doesn’t just love her no, he’s in love with her. Y/N snapped out of her racing thoughts when Jason walked in holding a white paper bag.
“I’m back.” Jason said walking over to her bedside. “Your truffles.” Jason said handing her the white bag. “Oh um thanks.” Y/N said taking the paper bag.
Jason could immediately sense that something was wrong. “Everything alright?” Jason asked with concern in his voice. Y/N set the bag down on the table next to the bed.
“Are you in love with me?” Y/N asked taking Jason by surprise. “Who um told you that?” Jason asked her. “Dick might’ve let it slip out.” Y/N told him fiddling with her fingers. “That stupid fuck!” Jason snapped as he a ran a hand down his face.
Y/N grabbed one of his hands before he could get too worked up. “Jason.” Y/N said in a soft voice as she looked up at him. “Yes, I’m in love with you.” Jason confessed to her. Y/N lips turned up into a smile. She pulled him down and connected her lips with his’s. Jason immediately kissed back since he’s been waiting for this moment for a very long time.
They continued to kiss till they needed to pull away to catch their breath.
“I’m in love with you, too.” Y/N told him with a big smile on her face.
#jason todd x reader#jason todd#jason todd imagine#Jason Todd one shot#jason todd angst#jason todd fluff#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x fem!reader#Jason Todd x female!reader#Jason Todd x female reader#Jason Todd x vigilante!reader#female!reader#fem!reader#vigilante!reader#Batfamily#dc comics#batfamily x reader#angst#fluff#dick grayson#barbara gordon#Bruce Wayne#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood x fem!reader#red hood x you#red hood x y/n#red hood x vigilante!reader#red hood imagine
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GODDAMN
How am I meant to explain to people that my main motivation to drag my dysphoric and depressed ass to the gym is a blog about beautiful military men??
"Find the motivation to take care of yourself<3" ok so it's these texts about a russian guy-
Listen. Wanting to look like Russell Adler is a reasonable goal for a german transman.
Sorry this is a hot mess, recently started working out and got questioned, I'm so tired man(in general)
Bro, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone. Or just make some random shit up. You don't owe anyone jackshit when it comes to your personal health and wellbeing. Here, you can borrow some of mine:
So if I ever top I leave my partner a mess, but you [the homophobic/misogynistic creep "acquaintance"] wouldn't know anything about that, would you, cause the orgasm gap between straight men and women is larger than the mariana trench.
Dicks don't ride themselves, do they, sweetheart?
So they have to shoot to kill when they come for me.
So I can lift my partner out of bed and into a bath when we are old.
So I can carry the weight of conversations with you [the recipient].
Seriously, mate, let go of the need to justify yourself to others and you will be set free. And that goes for everything from characters you love, to what you eat, to how you dress. Shame is social control.
Someone very, very cruel and unwell once told me when I was at my lowest that "some people just need someone to hate, and that's you". They were trying to stick the knife in and kick me when I was down, but what they actually did is flip a switch in my head. If, by even existing, people are gonna hate me, then fuck 'em. I will be defiantly, spitefully myself, answering to no one.
For what it's worth, I am fucking proud of you. It takes courage to choose healing over misery. Just turn up for yourself. It's worth it. Promise.
#asks#rawr lifts#sorry that got away from me#i have had a lot of caffeine#get in there brother#Adler-fy yourself#price is my target#we can cosplay together
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Wow the universe is really working agaisnt this chapter huh
#first my phone (where i write everything) breaks and for the next 3 days i have to use my tablet if i wanna keep writing#it comes back but it's still not 100% fixed. the glitches make writting there slower than i do on tablet#which is super frustrating because i know i could have probably have finished this chapter already if it weren't for this#and this shit is starting to kill my motivation#on top of that the google doc where iv'e been writting chapter 19 doesn't open anymore. it crashes the app whenever i try#thankfully i always got a backcup where i copypaste the stuff i've written so far#but still that's just. wow#dra -2+2#hyena ramblings
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[SOUL] - The Roche Limit
"A unique convergence of elements...gave a stubborn soul one last chance at revenge."
Marx | Sectonia | Fecto Elfilis
#kirby#kirby and the forgotten land#katfl#fecto elfilis#chaos elfilis#hoshi no kirby#hoshi no kaabii#SOUL series#aseukiart#rises from the grave again. Actually had this finished like a week ago but it's been. p crazy here irl!!#Finally graduated School so hopefully I'll get back to the drawing groove soon enough!#I habve. So Many Things to Draw#(starts replaying katfl instead)#can I be real folks the whole ai scraping thing really killed some motivation to post for a while#but I think I worked out a routine for nightshade so that's been helping!#(the routine is letting it run while I go Eat Dinner)#It's not the Cutest solution for my toony style but I'll take some fun textures over feeding my shit into The Machine#nyways. Fecto Elfilis Beloathed. Loved drawing the textures of the ears /lying#Also also their boss fight. Is Very Fun.#(Fecto forgo can kiss my ass g OD that hallway chase scene is the stuff of nightmares /loving)
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idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.
the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.
yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.
but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?
this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.
yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.
i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.
so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.
because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.
he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.
but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.
yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.
#UGH. sick of this stupid show (<- pathologically obsessed with it (it's just on a downturn rn))#anyway hi welcome back to my terrible mind here's another excruciatingly long yyh meta post no one's gonna read that i should just make a#video essay because nobody wants to squint through all that text but MAYBE they'd listen to me read it out. anyway#i actually made and then abandoned another post comparing yusuke's sacrifice here to genkai's death by toguro if anyone's interested in tha#anyway yeah sorry if im rusty in uh talkking about these guys. they're still rattling around in here dw#that comment just fucking hijacked my brain. my first thought was to make an ep 89 yusuke pov fic but since that's Probably not#gonna ever Actually get done (sorry) i figured i'd put the analysis behind it here bc this fucking choice makes me want to rip my hair out#(in a good way in a painful way)#yeah this gets derailed. ugh i hope all that stuff about yusuke's motivation in this gambit makes sense bc i still don't feel 100% about my#reading of it. his ass IS very much an unreliable narrator. but in what way? ehhhhh it's hard to say for sure in this case. to me.#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yyh meta#yayyy#yusuke urameshi#literally wrote for so long the sun started rising (<- not impressive since you don't know when i began writing. but i can't tell you bc i#don't remember lol)#also: his relinquishing of this fight is very interesting to me. he loses his shit when raizen kills sensui and deprives him of that victor#and he tells the others to stand down once he returns. so clearly he still Cares about beating sensui himself#but when he thinks there's no other choice he's willing to settle for passing that torch to his friends#he's like well they've earned a good revenge killing. as a treat#the real answer is probably something like 'it would fuck with the pacing' but fuck that lol it's in the show i'm going to talk about it#and a lot of this still applies even if he Can't hear them bc he Has to expect the begging and crying bc 1. he's lived it via toguro 2. his#plan depends on it. even if he's only imagining his friends' heartbreak he's choosing to ignore it for the sake of his plan#ANYWAY the real answer for. pretty much everyone is to give up fighting and find something healthier to attach their worth to#which is why kuwa not being in the final arc is a good thing (as much as it hurts me not to see my boy)#yyh really said YOU HAVE TO BECOME WELL ADJUSTED. DYING WILL NOT GET YOU OUT OF IT#i only skimmed thru this once sorry if it's ass
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not even joking i think what it's going to take for me to get back into writing radioapple is to put vox in there somewhere
#ik i kinda left u guys hanging with the time loop fic but here's why. we started talking about alastor fucking w the vees offstage#and i completely lost all motivation to write about lucifer#because i got sidetracked by the vees interlude where al kills vox over & over again for shits & giggles and i never even intended for that#to make it into the final cut of the fic#so i've been stuck for months bc vox jammed the wheels on the inspiration train. sorry. but also not sorry. hes my silly rabbit
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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Faith AU where John is still possessed by Alu by the end of Chapter 3, they develop an Eddie and Venom type relationship (without the sexual tension, these two fucking hate each other), and they both go on wacky adventures to hunt demons and start household dramas except the household is John’s head
#faith game#faith the unholy trinity#john ward#father ward#faith alu#faith game fanart#alternate universe#art#doodle#drawing#fanart#digital art#artsy ari#((I'm tempted to call this AU the Jesus of Suburbia AU for shits and giggles. for now it has no name))#((Remember when I said I love tropes where John becomes lest and less human? this is it. This is my excuse))#((Everytime John goes MORTIS Alu's influence becomes stronger and John starts to slowly lose his humanity))#((This was meant to be more crack-ish cause it's mostly just Alu trying to start shit with John and Garcia gets caught in the middle))#((Alu has an ulterior motive for staying in John- The priest could wipe out his competitions))#((He helps John exorcise demons and John helps him by killing the other lower class demons. also he gets a host so win win))#((Garcia is VERY wary of John but as time goes by he's just very tired to see a demon and a priest bicker like housewives))
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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I'm gonna have to work on my final project non stop for like a month straight bc I procrastinated on it too much fuck my stupid baka life
#.txt#also I have to do a movie pitch for it bitch it's an amv with intentionally one dimensional characters 😭 tf do I even say about it#at least the characters are like. knockoff jaime and tommen so its almost like im drawing asoiaf fanart#unfortunately I've come to hate them. the knockoffs I mean#I wanna change the designs a bit so they dont resemble my blorbos as much. i think im gonna give the kid darker hair#ok well discount jaime just looks like him with 2 hands and a blue cape 💀and I cant change him atp#my worst mistake was giving him like. a solid metal skirt armor thing bc its a pain in the ass to animate#at the start of the year I had the most work done out of everyone how did this happen#its bc they started nitpicking the story and I kinda lost motivation to work on it lke this shit is stupid. and cringe#by they I mean the extra screenwriting teachers we had a couple lessons with which like. this is an animation course not a writing course#I'd get it if it was like. a full time school but we have 2 3 hour classes a week we dont have time for this shit man#ig my mistake was that my idea didn't start from the story it started from the song I wanted to make a cool music video for it#its not that the story is nonsensical or anything its just a very basic fairytale esque thing nothing groundbreaking#'but you're not SAYING anything with this' I'm not trying to omg just let me make my little amv :(#does everything need a plot twist or to subvert expectations is it not enough that it looks cool#there's a couple people who are worse off than me in terms of how much they've done but also theres a couple that are nearly done#looking at them like god I wish that were me.....#and also I think I accidentally overwrote a shot I worked on for 3 hours. killing myself#maybe I can restore a previous version but its on the school computer and the school is closed for a week so im not gonna know until then
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worse things than 2024 have tried to kill me, and theyve all failed 👍
happy new years, everyone
#amphi speaks#first it was work and being in a new work area that has an Extreme Busy Season where i ended up feeling super wiped after work every day#and then it was a mild breakdown that ended with me impulsively moving bc of Reasons#and then it was trying to figure out my entire life bc i got really extremely depressed and demotivated#to the point i went really quiet on everyone still speaking to me and only got out of bed to go to work and slept a depressing amount#and then it was work trying to kill me Again with an unprecedented Second Busy Season in my work area during the holidays#BUT I FUCKING LIVED. BITCH.#these last few days have been quiet finally and im starting to really piece myself together after the shattering past few months#i was actually motivated with writing??? who am i#mayhaps i will public my works again after having them privated for a couple months#was going through it mentally and couldnt stand the idea of someone reading my shit without wanting to throw up#anyway. hello to my friends in the computer! i miss you guys!!! but idk how to talk to people anymore :/#i feel awkward when ive been mia for months :/
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So while the name "Kaito Faker" would sound horrible, anyone else think it's kinda strange that neither of Dr. Faker's kids have the same last name as him? Their last names being Tenjo implies they're named after their mother, who is never seen, heard, or mentioned once throughout the entire duration of the show (unless I'm forgetting something super small, in which case tell me)
But who IS their mother? I'm sure plenty of people have talked this one to death already, but the idea of her being from Astral World has become kind of a favorite fan theory of mine considering Haruto looks like this...
There's no way he's not meant to resemble an Astralite
He and Astral both have those round head things, and his outfit resembles the line markings that Astral has on his body. Haruto has gold eyes, while Astral's got silver and gold, which I guess you could chalk up to him being like... Artificially created? If I'm remembering right? I haven't watched Zexal in so long help sodkdmdk
Blue seems to be a very common eye color for Astralites, with colors like gold being a rare exception, since the only ones who seem to have it are Enna...
And Eliphas, once again with the heterochromia
Why is he the only one other than Astral to have like,,, defined eyes by the way? No one else is good enough to get pupils and all that? They just have the entire eye be one color unless they're special? Mister "I'm the will of the entire planet so only I get to have special eyes" smh.
Seriously I want to understand their biology so badly someone please tell me what all these little details about their bodies mean
ANYWAYS I got distracted, but going back to the whole Kaito and Haruto are Astral hybrids theory, the only issues with it are the canon timeline of events. Faker wasn't shown to have started getting involved in this whole other world business until 5 years before the start of the show, meaning Kaito would have been 13 when his dad met Vector and agreed to destroy Astral World. Him having an Astral mom would need to have been a thing even further back than that, which would require Faker to have met an Astral being at least 13 years before he ever met Vector. But what would an Astralite be doing on Earth if they didn't have a mission to be there? After all, Earth is full of primitive beings who like chaos, so why would anyone go there?
Well.
This is all just me throwing ideas out there, but what if it were Enna? For one thing, she's shown protecting the children on her planet in a lot of her scenes, so she kind of gives off that motherly figure energy.
For another, she's also the only adult woman we ever see on that planet, as everyone else is either a child or Eliphas.
Enna is also like. Pro chaos, which is a very human thing (also a very Barian thing all things considered, but since Faker was still very much the dad, we'll keep going under the assumption that he and Enna could have been a thing.) Like she was very much for chaos being used to heal the residents of her world, which was kind of a radical viewpoint for her to have considering all the centuries they've spent casting it out completely. Accepting chaos seems to be a very outside way of thinking for her people, and while it is entirely possible that she simply saw people suffering and came to the conclusion on her own that getting rid of chaos just wasn't helping anyone, it'd be kinda cool if she picked that perspective up on a trip to Earth.
At this point this is becoming more of a "wouldn't it be cool if" type of post rather than a theory, but... I mean, wouldn't it be cool if Faker's role in Zexal I had been trying to connect Astral World and Earth so that he wouldn't be galaxies away from the mother of his children? Idk, I think that'd have been a way neater plot than him trying to destroy it to help his sick child, and you wouldn't have to change around Too much of the plot to make it happen. Kite would still be hunting numbers, albeit for a different reason, but still a reason related to his family. Vector likely wouldn't appear until the very end of Zexal I and could have been a boss fight. In the original plot, he had that deal with Faker that he'd heal his sick son in exchange for destroying Astral World, but you could either nix that entirely, or have Faker agree initially with every intent of double crossing Vector and having his true intentions be to get Haruto home with his other parent where he'll be safe, regardless of what happens to him as a result.
Once again, my opinion, but. I think it'd be better than what they actually did with Faker's character, having him seem cruel and evil up to the very end, not seeming to care about his son and in fact seeming to enjoy hurting him, only for a last minute reveal that he doesn't actually hate him despite all his actions showing otherwise, he had his best interests in mind the whole time, no really stop laughing. A rewrite like this would actually show him willing to do anything to keep his son out of harm's way, regardless of what might happen to him after Haruto is out of danger, and would make him far more deserving of the redemption the show tried to give him (which really was not deserved in canon all things considered, and it didn't even come from the right person, it came from Yuma, someone not part of the family he'd been hurting, but that's another separate rant.)
Like... I don't know man, I feel like Zexal gave us too many hints about Haruto not being from this world, what his his whole deal in season one, his appearance, etc, and then they just kinda let it fall flat? They set up a possible reveal for him that they just never really followed through on. :/ And I haven't even talked about his brother yet.
Kaito doesn't bear as strong a resemblance to your typical Astralite, or if he does, it's more... Subtle.
I've seen others point out that both Astral and Kaito have hair that curves up, but given that it's just these two who have that trait while all the other background citizens on Astral's home planet seem to have hair that either spikes outward or flows down, I'm not sure if that's a strong point for or against the possibility that they share a common background... Kaito also has blue eyes, which we've established as a common color for Astralites, but since it's also a common enough human eye color, it feels like a bit of a reach to call that proof, too. His dad's got purple eyes, so he definitely didn't get the color from Faker, but it's also Yugioh, so relatives having completely dissimilar characteristics isn't exactly uncommon... The two traits Kaito has that could link him to being from Astral's world could just as easily be a coincidence.
You know what's weird about Kaito? Photon Transformation. I mean, where does he even get that ability from? It's never fully explained how he'd able to do it, he just does it, and whatever it does to him, somehow hurts him to use it. That could possibly point to him not being fully human if the other half of his heritage is able to pull off something like that naturally, but we once again know so little about Astralites that it winds up being speculation again.
I haven't actually watched Zexal in a very hot minute btw, so if anyone wants to chime in to correct me on something I got wrong/add in something I missed, go right ahead!
#i wrote this literally one year ago and never got around to posting it but im posting it now while im at the clinic just so yall#have something to eat while i sort my medical shit out#yugioh zexal#kaito tenjo#haruto tenjo#ygo zexal#kite tenjo#hart tenjo#enna#this is just a ✨fan theory✨#but i put a lot of time into it way back#and tumblr originally ate my first draft of this which killed my motivation to keep working on it because 'i Was gonna post this'#'but you decided to not save my draft so now i am not doing it' *begrudgingly starts over but with much less enthusiasm*#*saves it in my drafts for one year like a nerd time capsule*#long post#very long post
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i think its really fitting that the "this shit........ is so ass :'') " anime girl reaction image is from oshi no ko because that is also what my expression was like the whole time while reading the entire last third of the story
#theres like what. one or two chapters left? we are almost free. we are almost free#i hope they make the adaptations better. its such a weird ass manga#like it started solid albeit full of hashtag anime weirdness so a bit of a hard sell#and then like for a while there it was just like a genuinely good showbiz drama. the best arc was the stageplay arc we know this#although one thing about it that ive always noticed. for a manga with a premise about like. isekai idol revenge thriller. its like#so uninterested in idols? like while the showbiz entertainment industry drama was pretty great at times it like. ignored the idol side#like it did a tiny bit of stuff here and there but by the second half it had completely forgotten about it LOL#im curious if the anime and live drama will expand that more. the anime has lots of like tie in idol songs ive noticed#MY THOUGHTS on how the finale's been going: the character motivations are genuinely incomprehensible to me now like#the antagonists motivations and character and everything got so deflated i couldnt track it anymore#BUT i do think its bold to kill off ur protag like that. was it done well? not really no LOL#BUT it was bold. i think my eyes were so glazed over around then that such a last minute turn like that... it kinda ruled <3#i think theres been leaks about the last chapter or two? which i havent seen yet. but yeah rn thats where my opinion is#still love the music from the anime tho even tho i never watched it. also again even though the character motivations got like#so muddled and deflated by the end that i dont even know what the eye star symbolism is going for anymore -#I STILL think those eye stars rule thats a really great 00s shoujo manga esque character design choice#edit: TURNS OUT THE LAST CHAPTER WAS OUT i read it.... :') this shit. truly was ass
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having the everything happen to you at once is not fun, can confirm
#my art#doodles#my persona#it me#vent post#i dont think im gonna get anymore attacks done this year 😭#family drama w/ my cousin and his fiancée that stresses me out despite not being involved#bc i love them both dearly and theyre Going Thru It#having to mourn a friendship thats apparently been over for a year w/o my knowledge#and feeling like utter shit bc i considered them one of my best friends#and work barely giving me hours so stressing about all my medical expenses if this keeps up#AND to top it off. starting yet another new medication tomorrow#so who knows how thats gonna interact w all my other ones#im just tired. and sad. and feeling utterly worthless#trying to stay positive despite it all tho so Maybe i WILL get an art done before this years fight is over#cant discount the possibility of suddenly having all my motivation to be productive return#sometime in the next 24 hours#or maybe i'll just draw stuff for myself to cheer myself up! who knows!#i will not let this consume me. even tho ive let it consume me for several days. im fighting!#im gonna find a way to be positive thru this even if it kills me
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