#and this one doesn't have a lot of detail (or any detail tbh) so it looks more solid and fun i think
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somewhereincairparavel · 3 days ago
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What do you think of Piper's character? I started pjo because of Jason but I can't finish it because I got spoiled :(
aww nooo I'm so sorry you got spoiled! i hope you are able to continue the books one day despite the spoiler :< I was unfortunately, spoiled of jason's you-know-what long before I finished pjo and was about to start hoo aswell :(
anyways, I'll be honest, i initially never felt much towards piper while reading hoo? i wasn't a huge fan, but I never found her boring either, just a little shallow but in an understandable way since she was just a growing teen, it was realistic. I did like the fact that we got lots of insight on jason through her though, but overall she didn't deserve the fandom slander at all, that something i heavily agree on.
Also, something i DON'T understand is how much slander she got for calling percy 'unimpressive' compared to jason?? jason was her BOYFRIEND whom she was in love with at the time, and the fandom seemingly hates everyone who doesn't kiss the ground percy walks on. i found it VERY authentic that atleast one character didn't simp over him like the long list of simps he had throughout the series lol. no, she doesn't have bad taste just because percy wasn't romantically her cup of tea. Yet i feel like if annabeth said something along the lines of 'xx character is very unimpressive compared to percy' i don't ANYONE would've slandered her, because it's percy. they would've just called her a 'loyal queen' or something. piper truly is one of the punching bags unfortunately.
her platonic connection with leo and jason is also SUPER underrated, they were a family who cared about eachother till the very end even though they were put together under false pretenses :( i hate it when people compare them with grover, percy and annabeth saying that the lost hero trio wasn't 'true friendship' because of the fake memories, no. they are TRUE friends BECAUSE of how well they blended DESPITE the fake memories. They connected so well with ease and never really had any awkward moments together either.
[TOA spoilers] I'll be honest, i still have some lingering petty resentment towards piper because of how standoffish she was to jason after the break up, especially when she let coach hedge and mellie think that jason broke her heart, which alludes that she never explained to them who broke up with who and just vaguely said that they broke up, but then again, there are too little details about the break up for me to make out what exactly happened, so there's that. and I'll admit, her moving on with so quickly also rubs me off in a VERY wrong way, not just because of jason or anything, but because of how unhealthy it is for her mental health aswell, I just feel like she needed to take a break before jumping into a new relationship right after she faced PTSD witnessing her ex boyfriend/best friend's death, but i won't get into that.
I've seen some people getting upset about rick making piper queer, calling it 'queer baiting' but i HEAVILY disagree. i think piper questioning her sexuality was very realistic and makes so much sense for her character, since she always seemed to have internal misogyny that she needed to work on and also she faced the pressure of being the 'perfect aphrodite child with a perfect boyfriend' as her mom's favourite daughter. piper moving out of chb to go live in oklahoma is also very in character. I personally never felt like she truly enjoyed being in chb tbh, not as much as leo or jason did.
I do love how she gave out so much reassurance and moral support to the other characters like annabeth, leo and jason, because it's very sweet and she's also a very underrated fighter in the battlefield too.
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plutoenjoyer · 1 day ago
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soft ode thoughts 💭
· he is the physical-touch-love-language KING
· he would give you massages when youre feeling tense or overworked. and he's so good at it. obvs he's very physically strong, but hes also very intentional in how he touches you because he knows too much strength in a sensitive area or too little strength at a very tense area isn't good!!!
· i think he loves spoiling you more so than any other member😭
· what can i say... he just gets it
· he brings you a bouquet of roses whenever there's a special event or celebration for you... hell even when there's not an event
· since he's also super into self care he would 100% take your makeup off for you if you ask, possibly coming home from a late dinner date and you're too tired to move
· (he probably does an even better job than you do at it tbh.......)
· he has a photo of your pinkies interlocked as his lockscreen. he took it on a whim but it's his favorite picture because it summarizes your relationship so much, with his hand in yours, comfortable and happy
· two words: matching outfits
· and not in the disney adults visiting epcot for the first time way, i mean sometimes you guys go out together looking right out of a vogue editorial. you both know how to work with colors, textures, materials and silhouettes to create the Perfect™ matching(and/or similarly styled) outfits
· quite literally the most stylish couple ever i think!!!!
· he's also very adaptable (gemini pride‼️) and even though he likes dressing up and going out with you, if you're not feeling it that day he's more than happy to have a night in with you and put on a movie :)
· i think he's one of the most patient out of the members because his ultimate goal is to just be a support for you, and he does that through acts of service and gift giving. he really does enjoy taking care of you !!!
· and it never feels overbearing or forced, i think he finds a lot of enjoyment in seeing his loved ones happy, especially if he's the source of that. its sort of like a game to him to figure out exactly what his loved ones like, he's the type of person to remember a super small detail about something you wanted in passing, and then show up with that exact thing the next time he sees you
· it embarrasses him when you scold him for being too giving/too kind, and you frequently have to sit him down and give HIM massages and presents because he doesn't realize how hard he works!!!
· you make sure this man knows he's loved and his efforts go noticed
· just in general, whatever he can do in his power he would do it for you🥺
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wasyago · 1 year ago
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we're at it again🕺
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sskk-manifesto · 4 months ago
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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reidmania · 4 months ago
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inbetween | spencer reid
good riddance x spencer reid one shot series master list
summary ; after months over talking over email, you and spencer finally meet in person.
warnings ; reader & spencer fall in love over emails, meeting in person, insecure reader, insecure spencer, worries about not being enough, pretty much just pure fluff tbh.
an ; in between yall. this song. this is the first oneshot in the good riddance x spencer reid one shot series!! while i waiting for the poll to finish!!
part one, part two, part three
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‘I just can't come between 'em, they got their own thing I wish he'd stop pretendin', he won't let his phone ring. For more than a couple seconds, oh, I think maybe two. two hearts just fallin' in and out of love for somethin' new. ‘i wish that you could see 'em, their faces lighten up their past is cold and empty, they know it's been enough of waitin' on somebody, someone who doesn't care but he knows her name, she knows he'll always be there’
<>
The email rang up at exactly 5:30, exactly when you expected it to. You were sitting at your desk at work, knees pulled to ur chest as you spun on the desk chair. Your coworkers paid no mind to your antics, after working in the safe office for years, with each other. They were used to it by now.
You chewed at your lip as you refreshed your email when the clock changed to exactly 5:30, a wide smile dawned your face when you read the email, you heart ached with longing as your eyes traced over the words on the screen, your stomach tightening and your heart clenching.
Sent from [email protected] at 5:30pm
Hi.
I don’t know when this will send because I’m writing it while on the jet, probably as we get lower and more towards landing, I’ll spare you the scientific details. We only got back from a case this morning, early. Which is why it has taken me so long to reply. Im sorry.
We got a case in Maryland, which I remember you telling me, is where you live. I know I should probably just ask for your phone number but I kind of enjoy the emailing thing. It’s a lot less nerve racking because I can try to pass it off as professional, even though a lot of the time our conversations aren’t.
I actually don’t think we have ever had a professional conversation. Which is a good thing. I really enjoy our conversations no matter what we are talking about. I really enjoy talking to you.
I hope this isn’t too forward but I wanted to know if theres any chance I could see you while I’m in Maryland for this case. I don’t know when it would be or how long I’d be able to see you for, but I do really want to see you. If thats okay with you.
I guess I should give you my number, so you know I’m not some creepy old man. That would be ironic since I work at the FBI and my job is to stop people like that… I don’t know.
Heres my number, 023387677
Love, Spencer.
Your stomach tightened at the idea of seeing him in person. You never admitted it, but you knew he wasn’t an old man, you knew exactly who he was. You made the decision to google his name 6 months ago, when the two of you first started emailing back and forth after he accidentally sent a work email to the wrong person and you replied. It started as just telling him he had sent it to the wrong person, then he thanked you and apologised and made a joke and then the conversation just flowed.
You had been having conversations with Spencer Reid for six months and you felt like you knew more about him than you did yourself. He told you about his day, and about things he had been through, He opened up to you about his addiction and his mom and you opened up to him about your own trauma and issues.
Spencer Reid was your best friend and you had never met him. You had never even heard his voice. You only had seen his face on google when you searched up ‘Spencer reid FBI’ and a photo came up, he looked younger than you assumed in it, seeing the photo was from a few years ago. You felt slightly bad since you knew he could google you and probably come up empty handed — you had the upper hand.
You look at the clock as it inches closer to six o-clock when you finish work. A boring office job, you often complained to Spencer about. It was ironic since his job literally traumatised him, and yet you complained about the boring desk job, although he never ever compared, he would listen and comfort you after a bad day no matter what, just like you did for him.
You don’t reply to the email he sent as you typed the number he sent into your phone, saving the contact under ‘spence’ The nickname that had developed only weeks into the two of you talking. You send him a text, letting him know it was you, saying hi.
“Phone.” You hear your boss, warning you about using your phone at work, you lift your head an apologetic smile on your face as you close your phone, placing it face down on your desk as you close your email and return to your work after muttering out a sheepish, ‘Sorry!’
Spencer is sitting in a conference room of the police station in Maryland. He didn’t know it but he was only two blocks away from the office you worked. He never usually cared to check his phone while working — nothing could be as important as the case.
Until you, until now.
He found himself hanging out to feel the buzz in his pocket, he found himself checking his phone just in case maybe he missed the message. Just in case you did message.
He also checked his email a lot.
“Whats up with boy wonder?” Derek asked as he spun a chair to sit on it backwards, resting his arms on the back of the chair as he looked around at the other team members. Spencer focus on anything other than the case.
“He gave mystery girl his number” Emily said, patting Spencers shoulder softly to get his attention as she walked past him, placing a coffee down in front of him. Spencer noticed how it was his normal order — despite the fact lately he had been getting your order, after he found out what it was. It made him feel a little bit closer to you.
“Oo, Okay lover boy.” Derek hummed approvingly, raising his eyebrow slightly as he looked down at the boy. Spencer sighed as he let back in his chair, tossing his phone on the table as he checked to get no message. “Nothing yet?” Emily asked, knowing Spencer had been stressing since he sent the email on the jet, nearly two hours ago.
He didn’t know it hadn’t even delivered until a few minutes ago.
“Shes probably just busy” Spencer muttered as he checked his watch for the time. 5:33pm, you’d be at work.
Derek shared a look with Emily, both with teasing smiles on their faces. They had watched Spencer obsess over the girl for the past 6 months, even after he tried to hide it for the first few. He did a horrid job, they all noticed him smiling at his computer and typing away more often than ever, they noticed his focus slight adverted. It took a bit but they eventually got it out of him when you didn’t email him back for a week and he was going insane with worry that maybe you were ghosting him, or that you were hurt.
He confided in his team, you emailed him a few days later saying your wifi went down and none of your emails were going through. He was instantly relieved.
His phone buzzed on the table, 5:35pm. His hand instantly reached out for his phone. His eyes widened and his lip twitched upwards as he read the message that lit his screen.
“And lover boy is in” Derek whispered to Emily, loud enough that Spencer could hear that only ended up in Spencer sending him a glare, before typing out a reply and sending it, asking to call you tonight when he got finished.
“Alright, We got a lead” Hotch said entering the room.
You leant against the back of your head board, your hair wet and dripping down the back of your neck as you waited nervously for call to ring through your phone. You were almost terrified of what the conversation might hold. You were glad you were calling before you agreed or disagreed to meeting him, you could feel out whether or not it might be awkward or not.
You almost jumped out of your skin as your phone started ringing, anxiety pooled in your stomach as your skin flushed hot, causing the drops of water on the back of your neck feel as if it was burning the skin. You reached out for your phone that rested on your bed side table, answering the call.
“Hi.” You muttered out a breath of air. You couldn’t even help but smile as the realisation dawned on you. You were talking to Spencer. Finally, actually talking to him.
You heard a harsh breath on the other side of the phone before some shuffling. “Hold on” He mumbled out, you stomach fluttered at his voice as your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you bit back a smile.
“Okay.” You said, you heard some more shuffling before the sound of a door closing, then a creek. And then a breath.
“Hi” He settled on, you sat up a bit, crossing your legs as his word came out almost breathy and nervous. It made your chest thump against your ribcage so much it ached. “Sorry— I should’ve waited till I was in my hotel room to call, I was excited— Sorry” He said.
You could hear the nerves in his voice and all it did was make your cheeks beat a rosy hue. “It’s okay. I was nervous” You admit softly, you try to hide the slight embarrassment in your voice but it fails you as your words come out small.
You hear him chuckle. You think the sound genuinely makes your mind fall empty of any coherent thoughts. “You don’t have to be nervous” He spoke so softly as if his words were an exhale he had been holding in.
“But I am” You muttered.
“Me too.” He said honestly. You found comfort in the fact he cared enough about this interaction to be nervous about it. You went to run your hand through your hair but paused with you felt the coldness — it was still very wet from your shower.
“Good” You sighed out, voice almost a whisper. You didn’t know why you were speaking so quietly, there was no one else in your house. There was no reason to be as quiet as you were.
“Is good that I’m nervous?” Spencer asked, you could hear the teasing in his voice. It made your head spin and the words get caught as you shook your head, before remembering he couldn’t see you.
“Yes- No- no. No.” You muttered out, “Its uh- Its not good that your nervous— I- Its just good that you care” You scrambled out, stuttering over your words as you grew flustered. It made you want to turn into your pillow and scream.
You heard him laugh, making your face screw up. “Shut up.” You muttered out as it didn’t take a genius to figure out he was laughing at you scrambling over your words, your free hand came up to cover your face as your cheeks felt on fire.
“No- Im sorry. Im sorry. Of course I care, you know I care” He said softly as he collected his laughter, his voice dripping honesty for a moment as he spoke genuinely in a way that made your knees feel weak — Thank god you weren’t standing. You were silent for a moment as a smile dawned on your face.
“Tell me about your day.” He requested gently. You heard some more shuffling you could only assume he was getting comfortable in bed. You pictured it and it made your stomach burn with longing. Wishing it wasn’t just an image in your head.
And you did, you told him about your day and he told you about yours; the conversation flowed simply and sweetly from then on. He teased you whenever you stuttered over your words, you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.
You and him spoke until your voice was quiet and drowsy with sleep, until your eyes were fluttering shut and you went unresponsive for a moment before he asked if you were asleep and you would wake up to the sound of his voice, muttering out a no, to which he would chuckle, and tell you to go to sleep.
When you fell asleep, he waited ten minutes to make sure you were really asleep before hanging up. His heart full as he fell asleep smiling.
Sorry I fell asleep. If i didn’t throw you off completely and you still want to see me, im free any day after 6, when i finish work.
Spencer smiled at the message. The acceptance. You were accepting meeting him, seeing him. He couldn’t fathom the idea of anything you doing ever throwing him off. You had wiggled your way into his chest months ago, and you stayed consuming every part of him everyday since. He didn’t see that changing any day soon, or ever.
He sent you an address to a bar Derek suggested the team going to after work. He didn’t know if maybe it was too forward, or might be awkward with his team there, but at least if it didn’t go well there was people around.
He closed his phone as he waited for your reply, his mind replaying the conversation he had with you last night, how sweet you sounded, how your laugh made his heart clench, how whenever you said his name or spoke a little louder he felt light headed, unable to focus on anything but you.
There was anxiety in his stomach when he realised the two of you never quite talked about what it all meant. What the months of conversation back and forth was. He realised he didn’t know what you wanted. What you expected.
Maybe you just saw him as a friend, maybe to you the conversation is nothing more than friendly. Honestly, if that was the case Spencer didn’t think he would be able to deny you of that. He would do anything to keep you in his life, even if it caused a slight ache in his chest. He had told you things he couldn’t imagine telling anyone else, he trusted you in a way he didn’t know possible, and it may be stupid, maybe naive, but Spencer didn’t care.
The way he felt for you took over any ounce of doubt in his mind, it overtook the insecurity welling in his mind, that maybe you wouldn’t like him, not the way he liked you.
He had never felt so much for a person. He had never felt so much point blank. He could hardly fathom you feeling for him near the amount he felt for you.
Your hands traveled over your jeans softly as your palms grew sweaty as you stepped inside the bar. Thanking the guy you held it open for you as he walked out. You were instantly overwhelmed by the amount of people, the music playing and the people chatting. You probably should have gotten changed first instead of coming straight after work but you were too nervous and didn’t want to give yourself time to dwindle in your insecurities then chicken out.
You manoeuvred your way through the people, quiet apologies leaving your lips as you looked around for Spencer, or anyone who looks like they might be an FBI agent.
What does an FBI agent look like? you thought, as you let out a sigh, finally getting out of the crowd of people as you got to the back of the bar, a lot more free of space. A few people around, standing at tables. You skimmed over for a moment as you tried to catch any glimpse of the boy that you could.
You heard your name, making you spin on your heels. You saw a dark haired girl smiling at you. Well that isn’t spencer.
“Yes?” You said, smiling at her as you tried to hide the anxiety building in your veins. Your hand coming to push hair off your face softly as you try to focus on the girl in front of you. She grins widely, “Spencer is over there, you looked like you were looking for someone…” She said, my smile instantly widened as you looked over to where she nudged her head.
your breath got caught in your throat as your eyes settled on him, the photo didn’t do him justice in any way. His hair was messy and slightly grown out, he was engrossed in a conversation with who you could only assume was Derek Morgan, who Spencer had told you about. His tie was crooked in his suit as he lifted his arm to sip the drink in his hand.
you tear my eyes away as you look at the lady who is smiling at you. “Happy with that?” She asks. It takes you a moment to recognise her as Emily, whom Spencer had also told you about. You can hardly put it into words how your chest feels like its gonna explode as your heart thumps.
“He is gorgeous.” You breathe out, shaking your head as words fail you, your eyes trail back to him for a moment to see him laughing, you see his head turn towards the door, as if he is waiting for you to walk through them.
Emily smiles, patting your shoulder softly, “Cmon Mystery girl” She said, you pay little attention to the nickname as she encourages you to walk towards the table with her. Your legs feel like Jelly with every step that you take, your stomach twisting in the familiar feeling of anxiety.
When she pauses at the table your breath hitches. “Oi Reid” She mutters, both he and Derek turns their head towards her, “Look who I found” She says softly, hand brushing over your shoulder.
Spencers eyes skip over to yours and you watch an emotion pull his features. An emotion you can’t quite place and it makes your stomach ache at the uncertainty, insecurity creeping up the back of your neck.
“Hi” You breathe out as you look at him. Theres a moment of silence before he is pushing away from the table and walking around to you. His arms around you the moment you are in reach and it makes your muscles tense slightly before relaxing completely in his hold as you wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him back.
Emily and Derek watch in amusement for a moment, smiling when they see the look on Spencer’s face. The one you couldn’t place the one they knew all too well.
He was in love.
He was in love before seeing you, he knew that but watching you stand there grinning at him made him all the more sure about it. His hand rested on your waist as he pulled back from the hug to look at your face.
“Hi” He whispered back.
You chewed at your lip at you bit back the wide smile that tried to force its way into your features. His hand traveled up to your face before he could stop it hand cupping your face gently.
You eased, leaning into his touch the warmth of his hand feeling gentle against the soft skin of your cheek. “Y-You- I- Hi.” He stuttered this time.
You grinned, “Cat got your tongue?” You ask, teasing him like he would every-time you stuttered over the phone. He just grins in response.
“No. You’re beautiful” He said, eyes dancing over your face, he looked at you like he was trying to memories every little detail. Your stomach tightens and your knees felt weak as the compliment left his mouth. You had been told that before, but it felt different coming from him. He said it with honesty and sincerity.
“So are you” You said back before hugging him tightly again. He didn’t complain at all, instead his arms fell tightly around your waist as he held you against him, as if he was scared that if he let go you would disappear.
The night went on, you stayed by spencer’s side, his hand on yours or around your shoulder gently as if he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of you being next to him. You never complained — you took it all as a compliment and leant into his touch.
“Are you cold?” Spencer asked as you and him walked outside of the bar, hand in hand. he noticed the way you shivered as the cold hair hit the skin of your bare arms. You turn your head to look up at him, the look in his eye enough to make your chest clench around the fat of your heart.
“A little” You admit. It was nothing you couldn’t handle, but spencer was instantly pulling off his suit jacket for you, slugging it gently over your shoulders as the two of you walked down the street. You paused in your steps as you looked up at him.
“Thank you.” You say.
“Its okay- I don’t want you to be cold” He said softly. You couldn’t help but smile at his kindness, but you shook your head. “For that too— But I meant, for asking to see me. Thank you for thinking of me when you heard about where the case was — for talking to me everyday. Thank you for being my best friend Spence” You said softly as you lean against your car as you and him stop in front of it.
His lip twitches upwards into a smile as his hand drops yours instead resting softly on your lips. “I always think of you.” He admits, eyes on yours.
Your breath gets caught in the back of your throat. “Spencer.” You say softly.
He looks at you, really looks at you. He is seeing you. He is seeing every little thing you have told him over the last six months, every little detail about you there was to know, and all he could think about was he wanted more, he wanted to know you more.
“Yeah?” He says, his voice a whisper.
You feel anxiety pool in your stomach as the question lingers on the tip of your tongue. There was a pull towards him you couldn’t ignore, the same pull you felt when you received his email, six months, 2 weeks and 3 days ago. You’d count the hours but you figured that was more his style.
“You can say no, I want you to know that” You said, you wanted to make it perfectly clear that his response to this was completely up to him and you didn’t want to feel pressured. “Can I kiss you?” You ask.
His lips are on yours before you can even finish the question. One hand of his travelling to the small of your back to bring you in closer while the other tangles in your hair, cradling the back of your neck. Your hands instantly cup his face as you press your lips against him. Your lips together saying more than words ever could.
This, right here, him, right now.
It was everything and more.
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lunahearts · 10 months ago
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Soooo I read all of Dungeon Meshi in this past week and I have many thoughts bouncing around in my brain and I think the only thing to do with them is some AGGRESSIVELY CLOSE READING of a scene I wanted to come back to and try to understand better.
So: I want to talk about chapter 28
This entire section of the story is something I feel like I am going to want to come back to a lot, because its such a transitional time and I feel like there are a lot of themes/ideas that I wasn't fully aware of during my first reading, and stuff I missed because of that.
One of the biggest things I have been turning over in my head is... hey, what was UP with the Marcille/Falin bath scene? Maybe it was because I was already primed to pay attention to stuff with them going into the story, or because I had already seen a couple of panels out of context. In any case, it really kind of stuck out to me as being very short but also VERY intense, while also being... hard for me to define? Some part of the nature of the intensity felt like it was going over my head.
I wasn't sure that revisiting it would help with this right away, but to my surprise, it actually WAS a lot easier for me to follow and understand when I went back to it. So I want to just do a close reading of That Scene and some other parts of the chapter & context around it all, because I think it offers insight into Falin & her relationships, and what purpose this chapter serves within the story as a whole.
So first of all, I think it's interesting that the scene starts with Marcille bathing Falin.
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It feels very caring in a more platonic, less charged way then what will follow.
Marcille goes from this caretaker mode to joining Falin in the bath, and then of course we get the first of The Panels
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(as a small note, I only noticed when revisiting that Marcille is using the rest of her Kelpie soap in the bath. Isn't that just the most heartwrenching little detail. Augh)
Anyway, one of the first things I thought was interesting going back to this is how much it reminded me of the very different sort of intimacy that came just before it - when Laios and Marcille assembled Falin's bones.
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This is such a beautiful and intimate sequence, and something about Marcille examining Falin, whole, after the fact... I can't imagine there are not some echoes of those bones in Marcille's mind. The action seems more startling/intense for Falin at first, and maybe part of that is because Marcille has already experienced this level of intimacy with Falin's body in a way Falin herself wasn't a part of.
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This panel in particular I think is a summation of the difference in the experience for them. This looks like... near orgasmic for Falin tbh, and Marcille is very focused on the actual like practical part of what she's doing, seemingly completely unaware of the Effect she is having on Falin.
The whole short sequence is focused on this intimacy that Marcille initiated seemingly without fully being aware of what she was actually doing. And once Marcille is satisfied, she is also the one that ends it, sitting back in the bath and moving out of Falin's proximity. All on her own terms, and for her own ends.
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HOWEVER... Falin doesn't just let things go.
Instead, she returns Marcille's attention. First, by asking after her wellbeing:
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Marcille, of course, deflects (there will be a lot of that in this scene).
But Falin doesn't let it go.
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Falin is not a confrontational person. She likes to keep the peace. In this context, and in context of the way that Marcille was the one to come into Falin's space initially, the way that Marcille controlled the initial intimacy... this is striking. I genuinely think that these three panels might convey one of the most assertive actions Falin (as herself) takes in the entire story. One of the only things that outdoes it is the fucking INCITING INCIDENT OF THE WHOLE STORY.
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I'd also like to point out here that this action of Falin's also parallels her resurrection by Marcille & Laios. It's is also a forbidden magical action done to save someone(s) she loves, and its something she does TO them, that they are not fully aware/able to react to until its done.
Anyway, back to the bath scene. Falin is taking action here and asserting herself. And how does Marcille react?
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She flips out!! She rejects it! She tells Falin that she isn't supposed to be acting like that.
It's a very distancing response from Marcille, and also one that puts her back in that caretaker mode from the start of the scene. She also puts even more distance between herself and Falin by sinking into the water.
Falin doesn't give up though! She continues to assert herself. She's okay, she is allowed to chose to do this.
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And Marcille continues to push her away. It looks to me like she only starts to relax a little once she fits Falin into a role she can better define and control. You're a patient, you're recovering, I understand this fact and you don't. Let me take care of you.
But, for a third time, Falin pushes back.
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I don't think it’s coincidence that this is where she opens her eyes. She asks directly about the thing that they have both been dancing around:
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The resurrection spell. The fact that Falin KNOWS about this, at least in part, recontextualizes the quiet battle for control between the two them. They both know at least some part of the truth. Marcille wants nothing else then to ignore it. Falin wants to be able to talk about it. Marcille's blatant refusal to give her those answers, I think, is what keeps them out of sync - intimate only ever in one direction at a time, never fully together.
And of course, even when directly confronted, Marcille refuses to engage with the truth.
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This moment being on the bottom of the page is notable too. There's a beat here. The last panel holds on Falin's face. The reader reaches the bottom of the page, and they are held here for a beat as well, with Falin. It's not quite a rejection yet. What Marcille says isn't directly an answer to Falin's question, but it is a response. A valid one, even! Falin wasn't just asking the question after all, but struggling with guilt that Marcille has every reason to want to reject.
But then you move on the next page, and...
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Marcille isn't actually addressing the question at all, not directly. She's deflecting, again. Oh we had a ~difficult time~, there were a lot of "tough situations." Even though she and Falin both know about the resurrection, and Falin has made it clear that she wants to talk about it, Marcille pushes away from the actual topic. She keeps things broad and indirect.
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She offers the smallest gesture to Falin - nothing more than a whisper of 'don't worry about it I won't get in trouble' (even though Falin's concern was never just about Marcille getting in trouble).
Marcille then continues to deflect even further, completely changing the subject onto clothes and frog adventures, which seems to distract Falin as well, as she finally gives up on pushing.
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And that's where the scene ends! Marcille pushes into Falin's space (without fully realizing), and Falin pushes back. She tries three times to get Marcille to acknowledge her wants, and three times Marcille rejects her, though she does eventually convey some truth. She is honest in her belief that Falin doesn't need to feel guilty, and that things will all work out, even as she continues to deflect the rest of the question. Falin finally accepts that, the topic of conversation changes, and we move on.
But there is a little bit more that happens between them. Towards the end of the chapter, they have this little 'oh no we have to share a bed' situation. Classic stuff.
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And Falin seems to realize that the context of this is kinda different now then it was when they were in the magic academy. She's not a kid any more, and they just had those intimate moments in the bath. There's a new tension between them, or one that new at least to the bed sharing of it all.
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And in this respect, too Marcille pulls away from what Falin is trying to say. She tries to frame Falin as a kid, tries to insist that nothing is different.
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When I first got to this part, it honestly felt... a little uncomfortable? After the bath scene, it is really weird to move into a new intimate situation with Marcille explicitly treating Falin as a kid.
What I have realized in coming back to this scene, though, is how much I think its meant to feel uncomfortable. Throughout the chapter, Marcille's responses to Falin become increasingly patronizing. By letting some of that conflict between them resolve at the end of the first scene, the chapter seems to let things rest, and lets you set it out of your mind.
Then, when the same type of conflict comes back at the end of the chapter, Marcille is even more blatantly treating Falin like a kid, and the unfairness of it hits even stronger. They are both adults, and Falin deserves the truth. After 27 chapters from the perspective of Laios, Marcille, and the others in the group, this progression lets you feel things from Falin's perspective. It's supposed to feel uncomfortable because it IS uncomfortable for Falin, the way no one will quite tell her the truth.
After all, Marcille isn't the only one to do this kind of deflecting when Falin tries to ask about what happened. Laios has a similar response, right down to the 'treating her a bit like a kid' part.
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Even more importantly, this final conversation of the chapter reveals one last layer in the knowledge/power imbalance between Falin and the rest of the party: she doesn't actually remember sacrificing herself and teleporting them out.
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As I mentioned before, that action was one of the most assertive things we see Falin do in the story, and she doesn't even get to keep that for herself. Instead of being her action, her choice, it becomes yet another thing that the others know more about than her.
I think that's part of why there is such an air of melancholy to this hug they share on the next page
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Obviously, obviously, there are so many emotions here for Laios and I don't think its all meant to be viewed as a negative thing, or that he or Marcille are being completely unreasonable. They've been through a lot, and what's more, they think they have time now. So much more time then they actually will have. Time to explain, to open up, to let Falin return to the group in full - as a teammate and not just as someone to be cared for and protected.
But they don't get time. And this relenting by Falin, this "I won't do it again," it's not something that feels triumphant. It's an attempt to comfort them, more a prayer than a promise. As if she is trying to exorcise a spirit. As if she is capable of promising that death won't come, eventually. It's what Laios needs, not what she wants.
That's the real tragedy of the chapter, I think. It's the one time, in the midst of everything, that they have the chance to give Falin what she wants - and they don't do it.
But I do think they realize that, and I think that this failure is a core part of their journey. It's another bittersweet taste to add to the mix - all the missed chances in this chapter to connect, amidst the moments of genuine peace they do get throughout it.
As Laios puts it later...
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If Falin hadn't been eaten by the dragon, and perhaps if they hadn't failed her here, they never would have had the adventure that they got to share.
(or, perhaps more tactfully: in life & chapter 28, there are both good times and bad. Thanks, Chilchuk)
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twilightcitysky · 1 year ago
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Everything Is Meant (long S2 analysis, part 1)
I cannot figure out for the life of me how to make gifs so this will have to be a gif-less essay. If anyone more tech savvy than me wants to reblog with relevant media, please do!
I've seen a lot of people saying how Aziraphale's actions in the final ten minutes come out of left field and are OOC, and when I first watched the episode I felt the same, but now I think I couldn't have been more wrong. And I don't think Aziraphale is being controlled... I think the entire season showed us exactly what was going to happen.
On first watch, what struck me was the number of plot points that seemed disconnected. I couldn't figure out how Job related to the present, or the Victorian era, or the Nazi zombies (still at sea on the zombies part tbh). I didn't know where the Maggie/ Nina subplot was going, or why we were bothering with it. Then I put my "psych hat" on and it was like seeing one of those 3D pictures come into focus. It's a psychological networking rather than a plot-driven one, which is what Neil told us to expect.
Detailed analysis under the cut, with spoilers:
I went back through the season in my head and started asking myself: why is this element there? What does it contribute?
1. Start with scene one. Why include it? Does it matter for the climax that Az knew Crowley as an angel? YES. It's actually huge. Angel Crowley was joyful, he was bursting with delight at creation, he was idealistic. He wanted to be a part of everything rather than run away from it, and that's still how Aziraphale feels. He loves being a part of things. He's a joiner. He's a landlord. He dances at clubs and he makes human friends and he learns magic. Crowley the demon doesn't seem to want any of that, and I think that's hard for Az. He wants Crowley to be free of the cynicism he thinks prevents him from enjoying life now. At some level, I think he senses that Crowley is depressed (empathy's not his strong suit but I'm sure he's aware that Crowley's in a "what's the point of it all" kind of mood; see the eccles cakes scene). He wants to fix it. Aziraphale is a fixer. Metatron offers him a chance to do that.
Another thing is that Aziraphale knows Crowley ended up Falling just for asking questions that seemed innocent. That's not okay with him. He thinks that with the two of them in charge they can actually MAKE the changes that Crowley wanted to see way back at the beginning, starting with a suggestion box.
2. Okay, now Jim. Obviously Gabriel/ Jim is the central mystery, but why does he matter? First and foremost: he's there to show Aziraphale that angels can CHANGE. Gabriel terrorized and threatened Aziraphale. Az has been terrified of him. He ordered Aziraphale's execution. And now here he is, drinking hot chocolate, doing noble self-sacrificing things, with morals that suddenly align with Aziraphale's. What an absolute game-changer that must have been! He thought Heaven was unfixable, but here's Gabriel in his shop for weeks, slowly convincing him otherwise.
Then two other things happen. First, they find out that this all happened to Gabriel essentially because he fell in love. He was fired and his memories were stolen and the only reason he recovered was because Beelzebub happened to give him the one thing that could save him. That must have seemed like incredible luck. Now, how does Aziraphale feel about memories? He lives in a bookshop that is stuffed to bursting with the records of all of human history, essentially. His memories of his time with Crowley are incredibly precious. He sees, there at the end, that everything he is can be taken from him as a punishment for falling in love. Aziraphale doesn't have a magic fly container. He'd be forever robbed of Crowley, his life, himself. It's a very real threat in his mind when Metatron intervenes.
Which brings us to the second thing. Metatron saves Gabriel. Not only that, he prevents him from being punished for loving Beelzebub and lets them both go. What better way to win currency with Aziraphale? HE doesn't want to go off to Alpha Centauri, he never has, but suddenly he sees that Metatron might protect his relationship. And he's probably the only entity with the power to do so.
So we come to two conclusions: Aziraphale, when he goes off to talk with Metatron, is feeling like maybe it's not intrinsically bad to be an angel. He believed all the angels sucked, and only God was good... but now he sees that even Gabriel can change. He met Muriel, and he likes them. (He also had a huge crush on angel Crowley, which is neither here nor there but he loves Crowley in all his forms.) So if Crowley became an angel again, would that really be so bad? In his mind, it wouldn't change who Crowley is. It would just make them both safer and allow them to be together. (He's wrong! And Crowley doesn't see it that way! But this is a key miscommunication. Aziraphale doesn't really believe that becoming a demon changed Crowley. Back to the first scene, which Aziraphale references during the Job minisode. In his eyes, Crowley is the same person (just more cynical because of what's happened to him)-- so why would it matter if he's an angel again? I truly don't think he was trying to save Crowley, or saying that Crowley would be Better as an angel. To him, it doesn't matter what Crowley is. Which is reductive and harmful, but not the same as thinking Crowley needs rescuing from himself.)
Second conclusion: he sees that an angel and demon can be in love, but they have to run away to be together. Gabe and Beelz couldn't go home again. Earth is Aziraphale's home, but after the attack on the bookshop he learned that without Heaven's protection he can't really keep them safe there. Metatron says: "Come with me, do this thing, and you can have guaranteed safety AND be with the love of your life". Poor Aziraphale wants this with every fiber of his being. All he's ever wanted was for Crowley to be safe. He's never been able to offer it. Over the past four years, he thought they were safe, but he's just learned that he was wrong.
This is getting long. Continued in Part Two!
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uyuforu · 8 months ago
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Astrology Observation: Synastry & Composite with In-Laws pt.1
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This post will be about Synastry and Composite observations with in-laws. It is only observations, and are not observed on many charts so take it just as a study. I'll make more in the future when I have more details and placements to study. This is also not something I have seen yet, so this is really a theory right now. Take everything you see lightly! In this observation post, I also include brothers and sisters in laws when I talk about In-Laws! Pretty much the family of your spouse. When looking at the Synastry, we look at what the two individuals feel for each other. While Composite is for looking at how their relationship is.
All pictures were found on Pinterest
Other posts you could like:
જ⁀➴ How to know when you will get married?
જ⁀➴ How to make a solar return synastry
જ⁀➴ Boda in Signs, Houses, Degrees
જ⁀➴ Boda Aspects
Book a private reading: menus ; Q&A ; rules ; instagram
Buy me a Kofi •ᴗ•
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*IL= In-Laws
𝜗𝜚 Synastry
₊˚⊹♡ Since In-Laws are ruled by the 9H, most of the times you will have 9H synastry with them. Your planets could often fall in your In-Laws' 9H.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Saturn in your 1H could mean they will have hard time to see you, they could hear a lot about you but it will take time to meet you. In any way, it could mean there are obstacles in the way for you two to meet? It can also that they refuse to meet you, or you can't meet them for a while, or perhaps you don't want to meet them? You are not meeting them fast, that's all!
₊˚⊹♡ Your Saturn in your IL's 9H could mean there is distance between you two (physically) and you can't meet them because you live far away from each other. There could also be language barrier between you.
₊˚⊹♡ If your Saturn falls in your IL's 4H, you could struggle to see them or meet them often. You don't get to see them often.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Ceres in your 3H could mean they feel like they can share a lot with you, they feel like you will understand how they feel. Your IL will also encourage you in your intellectual pursuits and your hobbies too. This is a good communication sign between you two.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Ceres falling in your IL's 11H could mean could mean you see your IL as a friend, someone you like to spend time with, and actually enjoy having conversations with them. You could also like to hangout with them even without your spouse.
₊˚⊹♡ If your IL's placements fall in your 7H, they see you as someone they have a "contract with", meaning they are close to you because you are a IL to them, and they see you this way. By being married to you, your IL also see this as being married to you, meaning they don't really have a choice. Some placements falling in your 7H could mean they don't really like you, 7H is also about enemies!
₊˚⊹♡ IL's Sun in your 5H means they see you as one of their child, they will take you as their real son/ daughter than just an IL. You can have a more close relationship with them than just IL. It's a very good placement tbh.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Sun in your 4H means they actually see you as a family member and accept you.
₊˚⊹♡ IL's Sun conjunct your Union asteroid could mean they like you since the day they meet you. It also means you will "travel" to see them (doesn't mean a long travel, it means you will move yourself to them than the other way around).
₊˚⊹♡ Your Sun in your IL's 6H means you will see them as someone who help you, and you will heal some trauma or some fears you have through them.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Sun in your 6H is reversed, your IL could heal some traumas or fear through or with you.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Moon in your 12H means they can understand you in another level, they can read you even when you don't say anything. If you like them, it's great, meaning you have a good relationship. If you don't, well good luck!
₊˚⊹♡ Your Moon in your IL's 10H could mean you could admire your IL very much.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Moon in your IL's 8H could be similar to the 12H synastry, but it could also mean there could be toxic vibes. You could also feel uncomfortable with your IL, there could be conflicts.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Moon in your IL's 5H (or their Moon in your 5H) could be like a siblings kind of relationship, it could be cheeky and fun too.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Mercury in your IL's 9H could mean you don't talk the same language as them and may learn a new language to talk to them. It could also mean you like to learn a lot from your IL and see them as someone you can learn from.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Mercury in your 5H means they could like to joke around with you and they may talk to you very familiar way, you could joke around with them a lot.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Mercury in your IL's 7H could mean you could talk to them in a respectful way. It's also a nice way, not cold.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Mercury in your IL's 4H means you could talk to them in their native language (if you are a foreigner to them). The conversation could be very comfortable and heartwarming too, you may feel comfortable talking to them.
₊˚⊹♡ Same thing if your IL's Mercury fall in your 4H but they could talk to you in your native language if you are a foreigner instead of you.
₊˚⊹♡ Mercury conjunct Mars in this Synastry could mean the conversations are passionate, alive, and not forced, pretty natural. You both could want to talk to each other, but be careful to fights or disagreements.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Venus in your IL's 9H could mean you like the fact they are different from you. If you are a foreigner to them, you may actually enjoy that there is a cultural difference. You could also feel like it's the first time you love your IL so much. The feeling could be reciprocated.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Venus in your 6H could mean they want to take care of you, they could want to give you gift based on what you like (because they listen to you) but also based on what you need, what is best for you in their opinion. They could like to help you and to give you advice. They will care for you.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Venus in your 5H means they really enjoy spending time with you, they could laugh a lot with you and they just are happy to know they can spend time with you.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Venus in your IL's 4H could mean you take care of your IL and you treat them are your real family.
₊˚⊹♡ Venus conjunct Uranus in this Synastry could mean the love and attention the individuals feel are very transformative, they both (or one of them) feel like it's nothing they felt before. For example, my FS and my little brother have that aspect. And my FS is an only child and my little brother is the only boy. So they both could feel like they have the brother they never had.
₊˚⊹♡ Venus conjunct Vertex in this Synastry could mean the love and attention one receive is truly changed by the other one, it could be new or something they never experienced before too. It could also be a major turn for both of them.
₊˚⊹♡ Mars conjunct Ceres could mean Mars person feel responsible for Ceres person and want to appear strong to the Ceres person, they want them to feel impressed.
₊˚⊹♡ My dad's Mars conjunct my FS's Boda also and it could mean my dad will probably be invested in our wedding lol (could he pay...? perhaps?)
₊˚⊹♡ Your Mars conjunct your IL's North Node could mean you will help them in their life purpose!
₊˚⊹♡ Your Mars in your IL's 8H could mean this can be explosive sometimes, you could stand up to them if they get mad, and it can lead to arguments. But you can also help them with that, because you are not scared of them. You stand up for yourself.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Mars in your 10H mean they can admire you a lot and admire how you work, stand for yourself, your confidence, etc. They think you are strong.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Jupiter in your 7H could mean they feel lucky they are bond to you because of the marriage you had with their relative.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Jupiter in your IL's 5H means you feel lucky to be able to have such a close bond with them, you always have fun with them.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's IC falling in your 5H could mean they see you as their child (if they are your mother/father in law). And brother sister if it's another relative.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IC conjuncting your IL's Ceres means you will feel like they protect you and care for you like their own family.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Jupiter in your IL's 3H could mean you have good conversation and you could joke around a lot.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Jupiter in your 9H could mean they could want to see you in your country if you are a foreigner or they will want to travel with you.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Jupiter conjunct your MC could mean they will probably think you are doing a good job and admire you for that, they could also be interested in working with you.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Uranus in your 5H could mean you are the child they never had, or sibling they never had.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Chiron in your IL's 1H could mean they remind you of a trauma you had, you could have hard time with them because they will trigger you somehow. You will also heal those with them probably.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Chiron in your IL's 3H could mean there could mean miscommunication problems between you two.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Chiron in your IL's MC could mean you will help your IL to be more confident and to lead more in life. You will be like a mentor to them.
₊˚⊹♡ Chiron in the others 8H or 12H could be complicated, you could also trigger each other, sometimes it can be a sign of not liking each other. If other aspects are good, then it means you will heal traumas together.
₊˚⊹♡ Neptune in the other's 7H could mean you have the illusion the person has good manners and are very into being appreciated. It could mean you can have a bad view thinking the person is not really like that and just pretending to be this way to be liked. Neptune person feel like that about 7H person between. On the other hand, Neptune person could feel like they are actually quite a charming person. On the bad hand, they could think they are fake.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Neptune in your IL's 5H could mean you think your IL is childish and prefer to have fun rather to take their responsibilities. If Uranus is there too, you could actually confront them about it one day.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Neptune in your 10H could mean they could admire you for your work but they could also not exactly know what you do for living. They could also have a certain view on you that is not true, so they could be mistaken about your reputation.
₊˚⊹♡ Your Neptune in your IL's 3H could mean you don't understand when they speak most of the time, or you could lie to them often.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's Neptune conjunct your Mars could mean your IL could be easily influenced by you and your opinion. If it is in your 10H, they could really admire you.
First Impressions
₊˚⊹♡ Your 1H in your IL's 11H means you will see them as outgoing, chill, cool and very nice. You will think they are the kind of IL who act in a very unbothered way, and you could also think they have an unconventional way to act with you. For example, if you come from a family who are very high on respect forms, your IL could shock you because they will talk to you in a familiar way directly.
₊˚⊹♡ Your 1H in your IL's 10H means you will see them as cold, distant, quite respectable and sometimes scary. They could want you to think they are this way. This can happen more if it is the Father IL.
₊˚⊹♡ Your 1H in your IL's 7H mans you will see them as respectable, nice, charming, outgoing, and you will like to spend time with them. You will think you spend time because of your obligation as an IL. You can think they dress well too.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's 1H in your 2H means they see you as someone who has money, who is respectable and who is someone quite patient, nice and well put together. They can think you are good looking too.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's 1H in your 4H could mean they see you as a family member already, someone they want to take care of.
₊˚⊹♡ Your IL's 1H in your 6H means they will see you as someone stable, hardworking and someone who takes care of themselves and someone who is healthy. They could admire you too, and they could want to help you a lot too.
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𝜗𝜚 Composite
₊˚⊹♡ Sun in Sagittarius could mean you have a cheeky and fun relationship. You could travel with your IL a lot or you could want to, you could also help each other learning languages. One can admire the other and one can teach a lot to the other. You could consider each other friends.
₊˚⊹♡ Sun in 6H could mean there are some distance between you two and respect. You care about the other and help each other a lot, you may also give each other advices. You could really be each other's motivation. There are still some kind of distance there, meaning that despite you can have a good relationship, perhaps your IL will still want you to be respectful.
₊˚⊹♡ Sun in Scorpio could mean you are not that close, and you don't speak much. You can have some small talk, and you can sometimes have an actual conversation on things that matter much. But rare I guess?
₊˚⊹♡ Sun in 5H is a sign you enjoy each other's company, you can really like talking to each other when you do, and your IL could consider you as a son/ daughter or a brother/sister.
₊˚⊹♡ Sun in Capricorn could mean one of you really respect the other and look up to them a lot.
₊˚⊹♡ Sun in 11H could mean you can think of each other as friends and sometimes siblings depending who is your IL to you. It's a very nice relationship as you two could play often games and video games together and talk about a lot of things. You could also follow each other on social medias too.
₊˚⊹♡ Moon in 11H means you can express your emotions together freely without having the feeling of being judged, you can also feel like you can talk about anything together. You can feel free and very outgoing with them too. It's a true friendship potential here.
₊˚⊹♡ Moon in Aries could mean you have a way to tease each other a lot and you could also have a lot of inside jokes. You could also get in some fights or arguments sometimes since you express your emotions freely and quite spontaneously together.
₊˚⊹♡ Moon in 5H could mean you feel emotionally safe with this person, and you can also like how close it's easy to be with them. They could think you are like a member of the family already. If it is your Mother or Father IL, they could think of you as their son/ daughter, but if it is another like a sibling IL, then they think of you as a bother/ sister.
₊˚⊹♡ Moon in Gemini could mean you joke a lot together, laughing could be often happening. You can like to talk with your IL and you feel like you can express your opinion freely. But you can also gossip together or about each other.
₊˚⊹♡ Moon in 10H could mean you don't hide what you feel towards each other and actually prefer to face each other about your emotions. You enjoy spending time together and respect each other. You could have a desire to work with each other.
₊˚⊹♡ Mercury in Sagittarius means you both joke around and have a good communication, you could help each other with languages and also share your life experiences to each other a lot.
₊˚⊹♡ Mercury 7H means you have a fair way to communicate towards each other. Your conversations can be quite charming, and you could talk about relationships, contracts, what is fair and right, appearances, romance, but also enemies. You could gossip also.
₊˚⊹♡ Mercury in Taurus is a fair way to communicate, you could have a steady communication. Sometimes the conversation can be boring. It can also mean you have a healthy way to communicate towards each other. This can mean you have conversations about money, stability, food, good things in life, shopping, material things, etc.
₊˚⊹♡ Mercury in 11H means you can have a friendly way to talk to each other, and mostly you can joke around easily, and perhaps even talk in a familiar way. You can text often with this person of follow each other on social medias. This means a good friendship can happen if you talk to each other quite often.
₊˚⊹♡ Mercury Capricorn means you are not good doing daily conversations with your IL but you may both prefer to have debates or conversations that are more intellectual. One of you may also really admire the other, and so there is one teacher and one student in this one.
₊˚⊹♡ Mercury 12H means you can understand each other on another level, but it can also mean you don't talk much to each other. You could have difficulties to talk at first and have hard time to understand each other. It can also mean you have conversations that can be very deep and you could also communicate telepathically together if you happen to be very close.
₊˚⊹♡ Venus in Capricorn means you and your IL could buy each other a lot of gifts or things casually, you could always bring something to each other anytime you see each other. You could admire each other a lot or one of you admire the other. You both show a lot of respect for each other.
₊˚⊹♡ Venus in 7H means your IL could feel like they totally adore you, they can be all over you. They will really like spending time with you, and will probably be proud and glad your partner chose you. They will love to see you and will probably will want to spend time with you often.
₊˚⊹♡ Venus in Sagittarius could mean you love to spend time with your IL, and they do too!
₊˚⊹♡ Venus in 6H could be a more cold and distant type of relationship you have with your IL, but deep down they actually care. You may not say it to each other, but you could both try to improve each other's life.
₊˚⊹♡ Venus in 12H could mean you both don't totally express how you feel towards each other. It means that perhaps you and your IL will not hug each other or actually say you appreciate each other. But you could know actually. It can mean you could be shy together lol, or you could be shy with them.
₊˚⊹♡ Mars in Aquarius is a sign of being best friend with your IL.
₊˚⊹♡ Mars in 9H means you could help each other see the bright side of life. There could be a lot of wisdom shared.
₊˚⊹♡ Mars in Pisces means you don't like fighting with each other. There is a lot of support between you two.
₊˚⊹♡ Mars in 1H could mean you help each other with confidence, one of you could help the other more.
₊˚⊹♡ Jupiter in 6H means you could help each other live a healthier life, and you feel like your life improved by knowing each other.
₊˚⊹♡ Jupiter in 9H means you could help each other learn a lot. If you are a foreigner, you both could help each other learning each other's languages. Even if you are, it could also mean expending your mind to new ideas and horizons with this placement. A lot of positive learning and teaching.
₊˚⊹♡ Saturn in 11H means you could have hard time to replace the link you have with your IL. With other bad aspects this could mean you both don't get along well. With good aspects this means you actually have hard time to replace your IL. You have such a close bond with them.
₊˚⊹♡ Saturn in 10H indicates that in order for your IL to trust you, time will be reacquired. It could take time for both of you to become close.
₊˚⊹♡ Saturn in 3H could mean there is a language barrier between you two. Or you could struggle to understand each other sometimes.
₊˚⊹♡ Pluto in 10H means you will both change a lot ever since you met each other.
₊˚⊹♡ 7H Stellium could indicate one of the base of your relationship with your IL is respect but also a lot of fairness. You could love to spend time with your IL and they do to, you both adore each other. You don't see spending time together as an obligation. You could also both want to solve any problems together if one arise, and you could ask for your IL help. They could be a friend to you. You trust them, and they also trust you. I think this is really good with an IL as it is actually a good sign of a good relationship. Your IL could be very happy to have you as their IL.
₊˚⊹♡ 6H Stellium could mean you will heal a lot with your IL. You both could need to either face things or heal trauma, and it is most likely to happen with them. This relationship could be complicated at first since you may feel a bit disturbed with them. Otherwise, you could care a lot about each other. You could like to help each other but also give each other advices. You could still be cold, distant and respectful towards each other, your IL is not your best friend in your head.
₊˚⊹♡ 12H Stellium means one of you idealize the other, and you two could have a close bond. Anything that you say to each other stay as a secret. You both could confide to each other.
₊˚⊹♡ Gemini Rising means most of people around you will see you two having a playful relationship, you can be seen laughing together a lot, joking a lot, but you can also love to debate together. People just see you two talking together a lot.
₊˚⊹♡ Cancer Rising means people could sense there is a strong sense of family between you two. You both could treat each other as a family member, depending on who this is compared to you. For example, my FS has that with my dad, and my FS could see my dad as his other dad, and my dad could see my FS as his other son. People could see you take care of each other and you care about each other. Tho sometimes the relationship could be tense.
₊˚⊹♡ Aquarius Rising here could mean people see you two sharing a good friendship. You could look very different from one another, yet you could get along well. People could also see you talk a lot about technologies or your friendship could be based on similar interest around the topic.
₊˚⊹♡ Aquarius MC could make you and your IL very open to talk and actually liking to discuss about many different topics. You could get along well because you could be both open-minded. This could be a sign you both challenge each other into having a more open mind and actually see realities in different ways.
₊˚⊹♡ Pisces MC could make you both have a complicated relationship, they don't know if you like each other or not. But it could be because you indeed have a complicated relationship with them.
₊˚⊹♡ Scorpio MC could make you both close to each other and you may help each other a lot through rough time. You have a strong bond with your IL and both of you could trust each other a lot.
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Thank you for reading!
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withleeknow · 7 months ago
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i think you'll do well with requests bc they seem to be popular in the fanfic side of tumblr! but even if it doesn't take off that quick, at least that'll be less overwhelming bc some ppl can be so demanding....anyways, i hope the best for you in this new journey haha 💝
me personally, i'm not very creative so i'll leave the details to the professionals (aka you) but i'd like to req something from minho's pov. i think those type of stories are SEVERELY lacking in the lee know fics department lol 🥲 it could be a childhood friends to lovers where he is pining for oc but he has a lot of self esteem issues and thinks she's not interested in him. also a big softie and just all around head over heels for her. you can add your magic! (if this is even remotely interesting enough to write lol i just want a minho pov tbh shsjjfjdjdj 😭)
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light years.
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summary: three times minho bites his tongue, and one time you don't let him.
pairing: minho x f!reader genre/warnings: childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst; kissing, cursing, so much pining i could hurl. could this have been more edited? oh absolutely lmao but i actually don't hate it sooo this is what we're going with :p word count: 4.2k note: to the first anon, thank you so much for your kind words! :') and i'm sorry that this took me longer than expected. i was trying to figure out what i wanted to write for your prompt but then i got the second request with the song and i thought they would go nicely together hehehehe i hope the both of you enjoy thissss
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
navigation / request masterlist / ko-fi
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I'm not sure what it means to love But I blink kind of slow around you I'm not sure what it means to love But I'll grow wherever you do What that means, I don't have a clue
I'm Not Sure - Margeaux Beylier
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One.
Minho is 18 years old, and he doesn't know what love is, doesn't really care for it at all.
While his friends are out there wrapped in the clutches of young love - the kind that blooms with stolen glances in classrooms and sticky notes passed in secrecy, Minho finds it simply unnecessary. He doesn't understand it whenever Hyunjin whines about not having a girlfriend because they're still young, they've got all the time in the world for romance later down the line. It's not the end of the world like Hyunjin laments it is.
Minho has his own life to prioritize. College is starting after the summer and he still needs to figure out how he's going to cope with the absence of his cats once he moves away. He's got dancing and he's got his other hobbies to keep him fulfilled and occupied.
And above all, he's got you.
You're getting ready for your sister's wedding when it happens for the first time. Or rather, when it doesn't happen.
You step back into the room where Minho is waiting for you on the sofa, his gaze resting idly on the screen of his phone, scrolling absentmindedly through his friends' group chat even though he has no interest in whatever they're talking about. You cough lightly to indicate your return after disappearing into the bathroom minutes prior to change into your dress. He looks up upon your soft announcement, and when his eyes settle on you, he swears it feels like an invisible force has collided with his chest and knocked all of the air from his lungs.
Throughout all his years of knowing you, inseparable from childhood until now, Minho has never seen you like this - all dolled up with your hair falling over your collarbones, cascading over your shoulders in soft waves that beckons him to run his fingers through. The light blue dress hugs you beautifully, the silky material catching the light from outside the window every time you shift on your feet under his steady gaze.
"So...?" you ask, moving your arms awkwardly behind your back like you're not sure what to do with them. "What do you think?"
What does he think?
Minho thinks you might just be the prettiest girl in the world. He thinks he must have been an idiot his whole life, to have spent most of his waking hours beside you and not once has he noticed how truly breathtaking you are. He thinks about the feeling that spreads in the pit of his stomach, sends warmth throughout his body and makes his heartbeat race a million miles an hours.
Your best friend blinks slowly as he savors the warmth that he's never experienced before. It's similar to the feeling you get when you're sitting under the shade of a big tree on a summer's day. It's comparable to the satisfied tranquility you get after you've just finished a hearty meal. A little hazy in your contentment.
It's not until you probe with a pointed Well? that Minho realizes he's been staring at you in silence for a few minutes now. He swallows thickly, willing away the words that he wants to say but they get lodged in his throat. He reckons it's weird to verbalize them, because it's not how the two of you function. You don't often utter that kind of sentiment out loud and he doesn't either. Never have and likely never will.
In the end, he bites his tongue. "You look presentable," is what he settles on.
You roll your eyes, then reward him with a laugh.
Minho doesn't care about love. He only cares about you.
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Two.
Minho is 21 years old, and he's gotten used to his heart beating erratically whenever he's in your presence.
Three years flew by in the blink of an eye, and graduation is just around the corner. You've always done well in school, straight A student with a track record that most could only dream to have. You put in the hours, you do the work. You deserve everything that you've achieved.
But it's been a challenging few months for you both, being seniors and all. He's had to watch you struggle to stay on top of your classes while also having to slave over a thesis 24/7 until you were sure it was perfect. It reduced you to tears a few times, and Minho was there to hold your hand through it all.
He held you in his comforting embrace when you wanted to give up. He made you dinner when you were too immersed in your schoolwork to notice that you'd forgotten to eat. He was your biggest support system; if it weren't for him, you don't know if you would've made it through.
It's hot outside today, a little unbearable but not uncharacteristic for June. Minho waits in a familiar hallway, the same hall that he's walked past for hundreds of times over the past few years, the same hall that he won't see again once he holds a degree in his hands in only a few weeks' time.
As he sits on an old wooden bench, he bounces his leg as if he's one of the people in the classrooms that line the hall. He doesn't have to be on campus today, but here he is regardless because you're scheduled for your thesis defense this morning. You're in one of those rooms, probably also bouncing your leg from the overwhelming nerves. Minutes feel like hours; you went in there a while ago after he had sent you off with a pat on the head and an encouraging Godspeed.
He's nervous for you, but he's sure that you'll do great. Years of hard work accumulating in what must be the most important moment of your academic journey. You even stayed up all night last night, refusing to sleep a wink just to revise your arguments and talking points.
Minho's head snaps up instantly as he hears a door creak open, the sound of it reverberating throughout the empty hallway like a gong announcing your return from battle. It takes you a few seconds to step out of the room and into his line of sight. He can't see you very well with all this distance between you, but he can still make out the way your frame is visibly shaking with every step you take. He rises to his feet, and you break into a sprint.
He opens his arms wide - a hug of consolation or congratulations, he doesn't know yet - but he still can't seem to brace himself for the collision. You run straight into his embrace, your warms wounding around his middle tightly. Minho feels your tremors, hears your sniffles from where you're pressing your cheek against his shoulder.
"How did it go?" he asks gently.
You start crying then, and he doesn't know if the tears that his shirt is soaking up are those of joy or of grief, but he holds you through it anyway. He swears he can feel every single beat of your heart, hammering so wildly as you're pressed against him like you could sink into him if only you'd push just a little bit more.
"I passed," you say in between sobs. "I got an A."
Minho heaves out the breath that he's been holding ever since you entered that classroom, but it's not like he had any doubt about it to begin with. He hugs you tighter than he's ever had before, and he loves you just the same.
You two must look so dramatic, all wrapped up together in your own little bubble, but who the fuck cares? Although, when another student passes by and coughs, you do break away from him, a little embarrassed for a second.
Even with your hair all mussed up and your flushed cheeks stained with tears, he still thinks you look the same as you did when you were 18 at your sister's wedding. The prettiest girl in the world.
Minho wipes away the wetness on your face with his sleeves, then swipes with gentle thumbs at the moisture that's gathered along your lash lines.
"Holy fucking shit," you breathe out, your shoulders sagging with evident relief, so much more relaxed now that you've done it. "I can't believe it's finally over."
Your best friend can't entirely agree, because he's always believed in you. He's had faith in you since the beginning, since you were mere children laughing and crying together on the playground. You were meant to do great things, this was always crystal clear to Minho.
I love you, he thinks as he smooths a hand over your hair, his chest swelling with nothing but pride and fondness for you. You did so well.
But it's not what he ends up telling you. He swallows it down, washes it away with a dose of regret and longing. He's still not the type to express sappy sentiments, and he's grown accustomed to adoring you only in secret.
"Let's go," he says softly. "I'll buy you dinner."
Minho is still young, he's still got his whole life ahead of him, but he knows what love is now. He knows that it's you.
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Three.
Minho is 24 years old, and he finds it hard to make peace with the fact that you're starting to get out there, that you're finally going on dates now that academics aren't taking up most of your time anymore.
To be fair, none of the guys you've seen have been graced with a second date, and Minho thanks his lucky stars whenever you return from a night out and text him a simple Not it. He knows that it wasn't your decision in the first place, that your mom and your sister have been setting you up on blind dates because they want to see you bring a boyfriend home.
You complain about it all the time, whining about how you're not interested but your family is adamant on it. Minho is well aware, and yet, there's a part of him that's a little shaken, because what if? What if the universe miscalculates and the stars misalign just enough in his misfortune for you to cross paths with someone who's absolutely perfect for you? Someone who's a good man that can give you what you've always deserved to have.
He really doesn't know what he would do if that happens. When it happens?
He doesn't know why you're here tonight either, sitting on a chair on the other side of his kitchen island in a pretty dress when you're supposed to be going on a date in half an hour. The guy apparently works for a big record label, some producer that your sister knows through a friend of a friend.
You look indifferent, kind of bored, as you watch Minho makes dinner for himself. "You seem miserable," he comments, taking a quick break from chopping vegetables to glance up at you. You do look a bit miserable, but you're still the most beautiful in his eyes.
You throw your head back and groan loudly, "Because I am. God, I don't know why they keep making me do this. These guys always give nothing."
"Please elaborate."
"They're all boring suits with tedious routines." you say, and as absentminded as your tone is, it sounds a little pointed to Minho's ears. "They don't make me laugh."
Do they not make you laugh, or do they not make you laugh more than I can?
"Then don't go," he snickers, though there's no humor in his voice at all. "These guys sound like duds. Just tell your sister to fuck off."
"Do you mean that? Do you really think I shouldn't go?"
And there's something in your gaze, something so suddenly expectant in the way you're looking at him that makes Minho wonder. If he says yes, would you listen? Would you stay here with him? Would you stay here for him?
I'm serious. Don't go. You can have this and I'll make myself ramyeon. Just be here with me.
You both stare at each other on either side of his kitchen island for an infinite stretch of time. He feels like your eyes are trying to tell him something that he can't decipher, as if they're sending him signals in a language that he never learned how to read.
For a second there, he indulges himself. He pretends that you're only asking because you want to hear him say it. That you want him to put up a fight and not let you go.
But he bites his tongue because it's become a bad habit. A habit that he can't shake because he simply doesn't have the courage to do so. Because if you stay here tonight, looking like that under the cozy lighting of his living room, he might just spill his secrets and he wouldn't be able to take it when reality comes crashing down and you end up telling him that you've never felt the same way.
"I'm kidding," he musters up the words, and tries to plaster on a smile for your sake, even though he's not sure if you really believe it. "You're dressed up anyway. Go and get a free fancy dinner, if anything."
Minho knows what love is, but his love has always lived in the shadows, his longing has only existed in the dark that it terrifies him just thinking about it meeting the light.
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Four.
Minho is 26 years old, and he's been a coward for the better part of a decade.
Maybe he's loved you for even longer, but he has spent the past eight years head over heels in love with you, and not once has he done anything about it. Never been able to gather enough courage to ask you out, never even hinted at his feelings for you. He loves you from his place by your side and yet, you've never known.
He loves you the most, but he loves you in the worst way that a person can love another - he loves you in silence.
You're the prettiest girl in the world, and Lee Minho is a pathetic coward.
All these years, he's kept quiet and for what? There's always a spot reserved for him right next to you and yet, it feels like he can only watch you from the sidelines, far away from where it really matters, because he doesn't think he can fit into your life the way he truly wants. You taught him what love was, and love, to Minho, is unattainable. Something he can spend the rest of his life yearning for but won't ever have.
Love hurts. Sometimes, all love does is hurt.
"I would've taken you to a nice restaurant if you asked, you know," he says, putting a chocolate cupcake on the coffee table in front of you before he sits down next to you on the fluffy carpet of your living room. He pulls out a candle next, placing it right in the center of the sweet treat.
Your gaze follows his hand has he lights the candle, your eyes glinting with excitement as though you're a child again and your favorite day of the year is still your birthday. The tiny flame curves and bends, dancing to a rhythm that looks like only you can hear. You watch the candle like it's magic, while Minho just watches you, thinking the same thing.
He watches as you close your eyes and clasp your hands together for the theatrics, then you blow out the flame seconds later with a swift breath.
You turn to him with a smile, "I don't need a nice restaurant. This is perfect."
He blinks, and there's that warmth simmering in his belly again. He first felt it when he was 18, and he feels it now. He feels it almost every moment that he spends with you, and he reckons it's only reasonable, because you're his home personified and love can still be beautiful even when it hurts. There's his heart racing again, but that's nothing new to Minho.
He muses over your words. Perfect. Just one simple word is enough to get his hopes up in a way that it really shouldn't.
Your definition of a birthday well spent is in your cozy apartment, eating takeout pizza with your best friend. Perfect, to you, is him baking you a singular chocolate cupcake upon your request and being with him within these four walls, where his fingers occasionally brush yours when you sit next to each other.
Oh, Minho would follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked him to.
He clears his throat lightly, breaking away from your gaze that's full of gratitude and childlike wonder. "What did you wish for?"
"I'm not gonna tell you. It won't come true then."
Wishes don't come true anyway, he thinks, but obviously he won't say it out loud to you, and on your birthday no less. Instead, he diverts his attention to the cupcake, subconsciously tonguing his cheek as he takes a small chunk of the sweet and offers it to you.
You let him feed you even though your eyes are narrowed. "What was that look?" you ask.
"What look?"
"You had a look."
"No, I didn't," Minho insists.
"Yes, you did. You wanted to say something, didn't you?"
He shrugs, popping a piece of cupcake into his own mouth. The answer is yes, he did want to say something, but if you want to get technical about it, then he's wanted to say something for years now. He asks you the same thing every birthday, What did you wish for?, and you would refuse to tell him every time.
"Wishes don't come true," he verbalizes it this time, with a voice that's lighthearted on purpose despite knowing that you wouldn't take it that seriously either way.
You roll your eyes. "Now you're just being pessimistic."
"What? I'm speaking from experience."
"You've never had a birthday wish come true?"
"My birthday wishes haven't come true since I was 18."
Minho feels your eyes on the side of his face, and when you remain quiet for a beat too long, he turns his attention back to you. "What?"
"How do you know they didn't come true?"
"Because..."
Because you've been my wish for almost a decade now. I didn't use to believe in wishes but I always believed in you. Every year, I wish for you to look at me the way I look at you, but it never comes true. Every year, I wish that you would love me back, not just as a friend, but you never do. You are my wish, but you're also the very reason why I know wishes don't come true.
Then he's laughing, but nothing is remotely funny about this. It's your birthday and suddenly all he can think about is how much it stings to be reminded that you're the only thing he'll ever wish for, and still, maybe this simple wish is absurd enough that the universe will never grant him what he truly wants.
"Never mind," he says. "This whole thing is silly."
There he goes, biting his tongue again. Coward.
"No, what were you going to say?"
"You're so bossy today," Minho pretends to complain.
"It's my birthday. Tell me," you press on, and suddenly he can't find any appreciation for your stubbornness that he's adored all his life. You keep your eyes fixed on him when all he wants to do is hide from you.
What is he supposed to say to you? What can he even say? That he's spent more than a third of his life hopelessly enamored with you? That the second he utters any of this out loud, he knows it will be the end of your friendship?
And Minho can't afford to lose you. Even if it hurts, he would rather let love hurt than live in the absence of you.
"Eat your cupcake," he says instead. "I'll get some ice cream."
He makes a move to get up, and the bad habit further cements its place in his subconscious. He's always running away from you when you're supposed to be the person he can be the most open with. This is how he knows he doesn't deserve you.
But you reach for his wrist and it makes him still, the feeling of your hand sliding downward to hold onto his fingers. He's used to the feeling of your smaller hand in his, used to how he can hear his heartbeat in his ears whenever you lace your fingers together.
What he isn't accustomed to, is the look on your face this very second, akin to the one you wore two years ago as you sat on the other side of his kitchen island, asking him if you should go.
Expectant and hopeful; you're holding something back too.
The words that slip from your lips are ones that he never imagined you would say to him.
"I've waited for you long enough."
His poor excuse of retrieving ice cream is all but forgotten as he stares at you, doe-eyed and despairingly confused. "What is that supposed to mean?"
You take a breath, and Minho wonders if this is how he looked every time he wanted to say something only to back down in the end.
Then it all comes rushing out.
"For a while, I thought there might've been something between us, something more than just friendship. I don't know why I thought that, I just had a feeling. On the day of our graduation, I thought you would finally kiss me or at least say something, but you didn't. Whenever I went on dates, I wanted you to tell me not to go, that I was wasting my time with those guys that couldn't make me laugh because they weren't you. You never said anything, you never did anything. I waited every birthday just like I waited tonight. You're still holding it over me and I'm starting to wonder if you really love me too or if I imagined everything this whole time."
Your voice gets smaller toward the end, almost as if the uncertainty takes over you the longer he remains silent. He doesn't have the words for it, doesn't really have the mental capacity to process all of what you just professed. Years and years of longing, of hoping that you would come running into his arms the same way you did on the morning of your thesis defense, and it turns out that you were always the one waiting for him to reach you.
If you really love me too.
Your fingers start to loosen around his but Minho doesn't let you get away, not now and not ever again. Not when he finally knows that he's burnt up enough of your time just because he was too stuck in his head to see that you were holding a hand out for him all along.
He pulls you into his orbit and he likes to imagine that somewhere out there in the infinite universe, two stars collide when he kisses you for the first time, long overdue but still heavenly nonetheless.
He's crying but you don't seem to mind the tears. You're kissing him back and it's really all that matters. He can't think straight but he adores you to the point that his lungs ache.
"I love you," he mumbles against your lips. The sentiment comes out clumsy, half coherent but wholeheartedly sincere. "I'm sorry. I love you, I love you, fuck, I love you."
You're the one who breaks the kiss first, with your hand on his chest gently pushing him away. Panic instantly shoots through him like a lightning strike. These are the words he's been holding back for years, did he not even say them right? Did he fuck things up yet again?
You brush the tears from his cheeks, your voice so impossibly soft when you ask, "Do you mean it?"
Minho splinters into a million pieces, of course he does.
Your name falls from his lips, sounding like a prayer, like the most tender plea that's ever been uttered, "I love you the most. I'm so in love with you that it hurts. I've been yours for so long and I never said anything. Fuck, I-I'm sorry. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I-"
You bring his face to yours once more, shushing him with a kiss that makes him putty in your hands. You tell him that it's okay, and you kiss him like you forgive him. The world could be ending right now, and he doesn't think that either of you would even care very much.
Because you're the only wish of his life, and you kiss him as though you want to make up for the lost years. Because Minho feels like he's 18 again and you're the most beautiful girl in the world, wearing a smile that leaves him breathless in the most wonderful way possible.
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all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 06.05.2024]
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Text
Dating Yandere Aventurine hc's
Obviously tw for toxic relationship dynamic and so on, but it's really mostly fluff tbh
It's not the moment that he lays eyes on you, nor the first time he hears your lovely voice, that sparks his interest
It's later, after a few interactions, that he's left wondering why exactly do your eyes look like that in the sunlight, why can't he help thinking about the last words you said to him, and why on earth does he want to remember how your palms feel against his...
It's annoying, a stupid little weakness that's he's really hoping fizzles out with the rest of his long lost desires
It's even more annoying when it doesn't...
He wants to be around you, to see you happy and content... Wants to be the one that causes that
He tries to appease his little crush in subtle ways
Buying you gifts, taking you out, reluctantly opening up, all hoping for a reaction that would kill that desire, just any emotion that would convince him you weren't the perfect person he's built you up to be
All for not... Every little reaction just grows his want, multiplies his need to have more of you
After fully coming to terms with that, he'll try courting you casually, playing up his charm, his nonchalance
As if his emotionally distant performance can cover the fact that he's only getting more desperate
He's lying to himself, trying to convince his own heart that he doesn't need you
That he doesn't spend every waking second imagining you right beside him, all the pretty expressions you'd make and amusing remarks that'd pull a genuine smile from his lips
It's a coping mechanism, but a poor one in comparison with really have you there
And why can't you be there...?
Texting becomes much more common
Various pictures and paragraphs meticulously detailing where he is and what he's doing, in the hopes that you might choose to show up of your own accord
Silly little good morning or good night texts played off as a joke, as if he isn't anxiously awaiting confirmation that you're still happy and well
He's always been good at reading people, a skill of his trade really, so your emotions are like an open book
Anyone you want him to be, he'll play the part flawlessly
A rich flirty playboy? An impulsive and fearless gambler? Maybe a doting attentive lover? All of those are masks he will happily adorn
You'll know something's up when the gift giving starts to get a little heavy handed
Gorgeous expensive bouquets with his calling card, very pretty jewelry (most of which includes a familiar looking green gemstone), and really a variety of other small gifts that fit in line with interests you told him about in passing
He'll claim complete ignorance to the amount, stating he's only buying what reminds him of you (which is pretty much every little thing he sees—)
And "Oh don't worry, dear friend. Consider it a token of good will! Can't have you forgetting about me.~"
He'll make himself quite a nuisance if you don't eventually give in to his little games
Though his work schedule keeps him from actively stalking you, it's not uncommon for suspicious looking IPC personal to be seen whenever you're out in public
He's just paranoid, really, that's all it is...
He couldn't live with himself if his darling went and got themself hurt
When officially together, you're probably going to spend a lot of time with him...
He'll make his office more accommodating for you! You can decorate your space however you desire, nothing is too good for his love
It generally helps his morale to have you around at work too
He's not nearly as stressed and short tempered with his beautiful perfect love always at arms length, read to be scooped up and showered in affection when he needs a break
"Oh come onnnn... It'd be so boring without you. You wouldn't leave me all alone, right...?" He coos, gently pulling you by your waist closer to him with a needy grin, eyes shining slightly as he tilts his head, pressing a soft little kiss to your wrist before glancing up at your eyes.
It's enough of a difference that the IPC might actually start giving you a paycheck under the title of "emotional support employee" simply to avoid having to deal with him when you're not around
He'll make it up to you by taking you out to fancy lunches, and dinners... and occasional breakfasts—
There's actually a good handful of days that he simply refuses to come in because he woke up with you laying on him and would physically rather die than move
His jealousy issues are a little more pronounced now, too...
He's hates having to get violent, really, but he has absolutely no qualms with calling out and publicly humiliating anybody for staring to long or being passively rude
But if anybody is being outright aggressive towards you, it's a completely different story
Don't they know who you belong to? How easily he could ruin their entire livelihood with a single phone call?
His eyes will narrow, his smile getting a little wider as his grip on you tightens, memorizing the persons face as it drops in realization, oh what a thrill~
He'll be an obsessive possessive mess, but there are worse things than being the sole focus of an attentive and devoted man...
Ignoring how he'd rather suffocate than see you smile so genuinely at anyone else with those perfect lips he just adores, of course
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bubbleberryuniverse · 3 months ago
Text
- GHOST PERI AU -
(AKA Petrified!Peri because that name is cool as FUCK.)
REFERENCES ALSO AVAILABLE HERE!
REGULAR COLORS / HIS BODY [NOT GHOST]
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GHOST COLORS / HIM AS A GHOST
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SO. You may be asking, "what happened to him?" And I am here to EXPLAIN! :]
This AU is still a fairly [pun unintended] big WIP, so some details are still all over the place/undecided, and some may change over time; constructive criticism, opinions/thoughts, questions, are all appreciated!
The general idea is, well... divergent from the finale. What if, after the chip is grabbed and Hazel, Wanda, [and maybe Cosmo? I don't recall if he goes with them/ends up somewhere else] go to fix the wand, Peri explodes. And it gets undone when Hazel wishes to fix Fairy World. Buuuttt... not quite!
It wasn't her 1 Millionth Wish that she used up on Fairy World— which is why it Doesn't Quite Fix Him Going Kaboomey. But I imagine that having 1Mil Wishes had a mild influence on What Happened and why exploding DID get fixed... sort of. [I need to brainstorm specifics on this.]
ANYWAY.
Peri looks GENERALLY normal most of the time, except for, well, *gestures at reference.* Outside of THAT [cracked wand, cracked crown [crack hidden by the glow], slightly off color pallete], there's some other stuff that's just a Hint of Wrong.
Like coughing up confetti and/or rainbows [without any other sign of magical backup [which he can't experience anymore because he did technically already die via backup.]] And sometimes the funny silly wacky expressions that happened during buildup [big ol' eyes/pupils, star shaped pupils, funny faces [like when he was talking to Dev.]
Throwing this in here. Sometimes he just stares like the TBH Creature. It's kinda silly kinda funny. I need to make a Petrified!Peri TBH emote because that fits well.
I was ALSO thinking about the idea that sometimes limbs can detach [the ghost fairy in that one ep is what gave me this thought], mostly for expressive purposes/fun silly purposes. It can be seen in this image here! Still DEBATING on this, though.
ANYWAY.
ANYWAY.
Cosmo and Wanda Don't Know He Died [because of not being right there] But something Is Off. Peri probably doesn't at first either until they [themself] put it together through context clues, and then they're like, "ooohh no, mom and dad probably don't know I exploded!" And he gets REALLY nervous about them finding out because that'd be A Lot and he doesn't want to Worry Them [because... he fucking died.]
So. There's a lot of him just trying not to Act Suspicious. Which only makes them both concerned! I have so many silly funny interactions between them that I imagine, actually!
Like...
Peri: *Talking. Suddenly... star pupils!*
Wanda: Um. Sweetie?
Peri: Hey do you see that?
Cosmo: Oooh, see what?
Peri: Over there! *Points.*
Cosmo + Wanda: *Looks over.*
Peri: *Disappears.*
WHICH. YEAH. SO. GHOST FORM. They're completely hidden when they're actually a GHOST, and has no wand/wings when they're a ghost, either [they do have wings normally, I just forgot to include them in the reference.] And I imagine whenever they poof into their ghost form that they leave a tiny bit of confetti behind!
ALSO.
He reassigns himself to Dev on his own [who didn't forget after the finale.] And his magic is kind of fucked up. Cause he's DEAD and look at his fucking WAND. So wishes kinda get fucked up when granted a bit sometimes ehehehaha...
ANYWAY.
I am also dumping my Peri headcanons onto him. They're transmasc nonbinary and use he/they pronouns and they're also aroace! :3
PLEASE. PLEASE send me any asks if you have any questions! You don't have to ask to draw them, either— just tag me in any art if you ever make any, please! :]
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jetii · 4 months ago
Note
the cross fic made me realize there's not enough tech angsty fanfics
how about a groveling tech trying to get femreader back like they were an item before order 66 tech broke things off, they reunite with the batch later but reader became a very sad person after all that time
an i lied because i thought you deserved better so i pushed you away situation ?
sorry if it's a long ask 😅 first timer here
I like your writing 💕
No worries! I love a detailed prompt.
Writing angst for Tech was harder than I thought it would be tbh. I think his direct communication style and self confidence make it especially difficult, so I took a slight detour here that I feel is more true to his character.
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Piece by Piece
Pairing: Tech x fem!Reader
Words: 5,630
Tags/Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, allusions to torture, PTSD
Summary: Pushing you away was the logical decision. It was the right choice. But Tech never expected it to hurt so much, nor did he expect to reunite with you months after the rise of the Empire, broken and haunted by your time spent in Imperial custody. Now, he's determined to make things right.
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Being in the same room as you is exceedingly difficult in a way Tech didn’t expect.
It’s been weeks since you returned, appearing like a vision from the Force to them, alive, and he still can’t quite believe it. His hands shake slightly when you look at him, his mouth goes dry. He still wants to reach out to you, hold you tight and never let you go, and it is agony to resist, to stand by your side and not be able to touch you.
You were the one who asked for space, time to readjust to being around them again. And he has respected that, despite the desperate, possessive urge to pull you back, to keep you close so you never leave his side again.
It makes it hard to concentrate. Hard to be of any use at all, really.
Tech knows this isn't healthy, the way his mind and body and emotions are behaving, but he is finding it difficult to control. He has a lot of feelings that he isn’t sure what to do with, a lot of emotions that he doesn't understand. Tech isn't one for emotional outbursts, for being ruled by his heart and not his mind. He is rational, logical, always thinking of the most efficient solution to a problem, the most practical way of doing things.
It’s what lead him to break it off with you, after all. He couldn’t afford to have his head in the clouds when so much is on the line, couldn't afford to be distracted by thoughts of you when they could be used against him.
But then you were gone, and Tech was left alone with only the cold reality of his own decisions.
He thought he had made the right choice. Thought he had been logical and sensible, thought it would hurt you less in the long run, if he pulled away. But Tech doesn't feel very sensible now, and it doesn't seem very logical that the best way to protect you would be to push you away.
You have been hurt more than enough. And even if you don't want him in your life anymore, even if you want nothing to do with him, he will never forgive himself for not trying to help.
The fact is, Tech isn’t sure what you want, but he is determined to make amends, to help in any way that he can. It might hurt, might cause him to feel pain at the distance between you, but he is willing to accept that, to live with it if that is what you need.
What he isn’t willing to live with is seeing you unhappy. And you are unhappy.
Your eyes are dark, hollow. Your face is drawn and gaunt, cheeks too thin, and when he sees you, your shoulders are slumped as though under an impossible weight. You barely eat, you barely sleep. Tech watches as you push food around your plate and drink only water. He notices how you keep to yourself, avoid talking and laughing and joking like you used to, and he hates that you have changed so much, that the Empire has taken that joy from you.
And that, more than anything, is what hurts him the most. The Empire took your light, the thing that makes you, you. They ripped your spark away and left a shell behind, and he is struggling to reconcile that with the bright and lively woman he knew, the woman who had such a profound effect on him.
"On all of us," Echo points out one night, as the rest of them watch you sitting alone.
Echo has become increasingly vocal about his feelings, something Tech is glad for. It gives him a chance to understand better, to gain perspective, and Echo has been the one to notice what Tech can't admit, the thing he isn't willing to think about, the thing that hurts the most.
You're suffering, and you're pushing them away.
At first, it seemed reasonable. You were gone a long time, and they hadn’t seen you. It made sense that you needed space.
But time has passed, and you're still not yourself.
Tech thinks back to your first night, how you flinched away from his touch, and realises how foolish he has been. He sees now how much he was hurting you, how much damage his words and actions were causing, and his heart breaks a little more.
It was never about protecting you. Not really.
Tech wanted you. He wanted you for so long, and when he finally had you, he was terrified of losing you. So, he pulled away. He cut ties, and told himself it was for the best.
Except now he has no ties to cut, no bonds left to sever. You're here, but not, and his chest aches as he watches you.
This isn't the way it should be.
Tech should be holding you, and you should be smiling. He should be telling you how much he loves you, how happy he is to have you back. He should be making sure you're comfortable and safe, ensuring that you have everything you need, everything you deserve.
Instead, he stands in the corner of the room, watching silently as his brothers try to coax you into eating, or drinking, or just saying something. Omega is the only one who is successful, who manages to make you smile.
Tech can't understand it. He tries his hardest, he does his best, and you always turn away.
And the more he tries, the more he feels the ache inside him grow, the more his feelings change, twisting and turning and growing, and he can't keep track of what's happening to him. All he knows is that the idea of losing you is the worst thing he can imagine, and the idea of being without you is becoming unbearable.
He doesn't know how much more he can take.
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You've been avoiding him.
No, not avoiding. You've been staying away.
Or maybe, you've been ignoring him.
“She's not talking to me,” Tech admits one evening.
He's curled up in the corner of the cockpit, legs pulled up, head buried in his arms. The rest of the Batch have dispersed, going off to their own bunks to rest or to tinker or to read. Tech is usually the last to retire, but not tonight.
Tonight, his shoulders are slumped and his goggles are pushed up onto his head. He's been scrubbing at his face with the heels of his palms for the past few minutes, trying to work through the thoughts and emotions swirling in his mind.
You're not talking to him.
And yes, maybe it's because you're not talking to any of them, but it still feels personal.
You're not talking, not laughing, not doing anything, really. You’re just there, a shadow of your former self, a ghost.
Tech misses the woman who used to laugh and tease him, the one who could always bring a smile to his face and a blush to his cheeks. The woman who was a whirlwind of color and life, the one who lit up his world and made him see things differently. Who kissed him so deeply and passionately that it felt like his entire world was reduced down to the feel of her lips. He misses her warmth, her kindness, the way she touched him, looked at him.
He misses the way he felt around her.
He misses you.
Tech doesn't know what to do. He can't stop thinking about you, can't stop thinking about what he's done, what he could have done.
What he should have done.
Maybe if he'd tried harder. Maybe if he hadn't given up, hadn't let go. Maybe if he had listened to Hunter, had heard Echo. Maybe if he'd told you the truth, he could have stopped this.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
He sighs, rubbing at his face. He feels miserable, and it's his own damn fault. He's the one who ended things, who pushed you away. And he can't blame you for that, not when it was him who decided that you weren't worth it.
That isn't to say that he didn't care. Of course, he cared. He cares now. So much it hurts.
You are the person he was in love with, the only one. But it didn't seem fair to ask you to share his life, his world, when he couldn't promise that it would always be safe, that it would always be stable. He couldn't give you a future, couldn't provide for you the way a proper partner should, the way you deserve.
He could give you the present, but he couldn't offer you anything else.
And yet, as Tech sits here, head in his hands, he can't help but think that he should have at least tried. If he'd told you how he felt, maybe things would have turned out differently.
“I only ever wanted you,” you had told him once, and Tech can't believe how stupid he was to let you slip through his fingers.
Tech isn't used to feeling helpless. He's used to knowing exactly what he's doing, to being in control. But when it comes to you, it's as if he's floundering. He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to act, doesn't know what you want.
He’s tried everything, he's done everything he can, and still, you push him away.
You don't want his comfort. You don't want his love.
He doesn't understand it. You've always seemed happy around him, like his presence brings you some peace. But now, whenever he gets close, you move away. When he tries to talk, you turn your back. When he offers help, you shut him down.
Tech isn't sure why you won't accept his assistance, or why you won't talk to him. It doesn't make sense.
He can't understand, can't rationalize. And he's never felt so lost.
Tech groans, burying his face in his arms. He's being ridiculous, he knows, but he can't help the way he feels.
He misses you.
Tech misses the way your hand fits perfectly in his. He misses the smell of your hair, the softness of your skin, the sweetness of your lips. He misses the way your smile makes him feel like his heart is full, like he can take on the world, like he can conquer anything.
Tech misses the way your body feels against his. The way your fingers feel on his skin. The way your breath catches when he touches you, the way your heartbeat picks up, the way your pupils dilate.
Tech misses the way you made him feel alive.
Tech knows that he isn't worthy of your affection. He knows that he doesn't deserve your love. He's not a good man, not a good partner, not a good friend. He's not the kind of person who should have someone like you, and yet, somehow, you chose him.
But not anymore.
“I only ever wanted you.”
You said those words to him before, and they haunt him. You told him you didn't care about the risks, the dangers, the fact that he couldn't give you the future you deserve. All you cared about was him.
And he threw it away.
Tech isn't sure how long he sits there, wallowing in his misery. He doesn't move, doesn't speak. He just sits, and broods.
“Maybe she just needs time,” Echo says, though his voice sounds doubtful.
Tech shakes his head before pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead.
“She has made it clear that she doesn't wish to speak to me, or see me, or have anything to do with me."
The words sting as he speaks them. His throat is tight, and he swallows hard, trying to hold back the emotion.
"I doubt a little more time will change her mind."
There's a long silence.
Echo leans against the wall beside Tech, his arms folded. He's watching Tech carefully, his gaze piercing. Tech feels uncomfortable, and shifts, ducking his head. He doesn't like being scrutinized, doesn't like being vulnerable. He prefers to keep his emotions in check, his feelings close to his chest.
But he's finding it hard to hide them now, and his pain is obvious, even to himself.
“But she does,” Echo says finally.
Tech glances up, frowning. "Elaborate."
"She does want you," Echo clarifies, his voice gentle. "She loves you. She wouldn't have come back if she didn't.”
Tech doesn't want to admit it, but Echo has a point. If you didn't want anything to do with him, then you wouldn't have bothered to find him. You would have left, disappeared again, and never come back.
You wouldn't have risked your life for him.
Tech isn't sure if that makes him feel better, or worse.
Because it means that you do care, but it also means that you might be willing to sacrifice yourself, and Tech can't have that. He can't let you throw away your life, not for him.
Tech groans, burying his face in his hands. He's being selfish, and he knows it. You're the one who was captured, the one who suffered, the one who nearly died. And yet, all he can think about is how much it hurts.
He's been thinking about how much it hurts him. He hasn't been thinking about what you need.
"What should I do?" Tech asks, his voice small and defeated.
"Apologize," Echo replies simply.
"I have tried," Tech protests, lifting his head. "I have apologized countless times, and she does not want to listen. She doesn't want to speak to me."
"No," Echo corrects. "You've apologized for the wrong things."
"Wrong things?" Tech echoes, frowning.
"Yes, the wrong things," Echo repeats.
Tech isn't sure what Echo means by that, but his brother looks confident, sure of himself. Tech wants to believe him, but he doesn't know how. He's spent so long trying to convince himself that he did the right thing, that he did the only thing, that he can't help but doubt.
"How do I fix it?" he asks, voice quiet.
"That, I can't tell you," Echo replies. "But Tech, the first step is admitting that you were wrong."
Tech nods, letting his shoulders sag. He doesn't feel particularly good about the situation, but he's willing to try. It's not easy, admitting he was wrong. He's so used to being right, to having the answer, to knowing what's best. But when it comes to you, he has never felt so lost.
Tech thinks of the pain in your eyes, the way you flinched from him, the way you turned away.
He has to do better. He has to be better.
He has to earn your forgiveness.
"I was wrong," Tech says, his voice steady and sure. "And I'm going to make it right."
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You're standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by medical supplies and overturned cots. Your face is pale, eyes wide and fearful, and Tech isn't sure what to do.
The voice of his brothers and Omega inside his head tell him you need space, but they also remind him that you need someone to look after you. That you need help. That you can't be alone.
Tech hesitates. He isn't used to this, the uncertainty, the not knowing what's best. He's never been particularly good at reading people, and even worse at knowing what they need.
He has never been more unsure than he is now.
He wants to help. He wants to take care of you, to make you feel safe, to give you what you need. But he's terrified of getting it wrong. Especially when you're standing in front of him looking like a startled animal.
You're shaking, and your breathing is fast and shallow. Your eyes are darting around the room, as if searching for something. Tech isn't sure what it is, or if it even exists. You look terrified, and Tech knows you have reason to be. The last time you were in a place like this, the Empire was holding you captive, and he can't blame you for feeling uncomfortable.
Tech has to suppress a shudder as he remembers the footage, the recordings they managed to get from the base. The screams, the cries. They haunted his dreams, and Tech can't even imagine what they did to you.
Tech wants nothing more than to run to you, to take you in his arms and promise that he will protect you. But he can't, not without permission.
Not when he isn't sure you'd even want him to.
So, instead, he stands there, watching. He keeps his distance, gives you the space you need. He's trying his best, but it isn't easy.
She just needs time, he tries to remind himself, but Tech isn't so sure.
He isn't sure if time is enough. He isn't sure if anything will ever be enough.
He watches as you stand there, your hands clenched into fists, your eyes still scanning the room. He watches as your breathing speeds up, your chest rising and falling rapidly. He watches as the panic spreads over your face, your lips pressed together, jaw tight.
You look scared, vulnerable, and Tech's heart breaks a little more.
“Cyare,” he calls out, as quiet and soothing as he can manage. You stiffen, and Tech curses himself for causing you discomfort.
He should have stayed quiet.
But then you turn, and your eyes meet his, and something inside him seems to settle.
You look so sad, so lost, and he can't help it. He walks over to you, careful and slow, making sure not to startle you. When he reaches you, he holds out his hand, palm up. He wants you to know that he is there for you, that he will not hurt you.
He will never hurt you again.
He waits, holding his breath. He's afraid that if he moves, if he speaks, you will run. So, he stands, motionless, watching as you stare at his hand.
Slowly, slowly, you reach out, your fingertips brushing his. The touch is gentle, tentative, and Tech is afraid to breathe.
Then, your hand closes around his, and he exhales.
Tech knows he's taking a risk, touching you, but he can't resist. He can't stand the thought of leaving you alone, the thought of not being able to help. He pulls you close, wrapping his arms around you. He doesn't know what else to do. He wants to hold you, to keep you safe.
He never wants to let you go.
You're shaking, your breath coming in shallow gasps. You're trembling, and Tech knows that this is a big step, that you're taking a chance. So, he holds you, and he waits.
Your body is tense, and Tech is worried that he's overstepped, that he's pushed you too far. But then, slowly, you relax. Your arms wrap around him, your head resting on his shoulder, and he can't help but sigh in relief.
The others are nearby, finishing a sweep of the facility. He should be helping, but he doesn't want to leave your side. Not when you're finally letting him be close to you.
So, he holds you, and he strokes your hair. He whispers quiet reassurances in your ear, tells you that everything will be alright, that he's got you, that you're safe.
He's not sure if you believe him, but he has to try.
He can't lose you again.
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Tech is trying.
He's trying his best, but he feels like he's failing.
Every day, every hour, every minute, his mind is filled with thoughts of you.
He thinks about how you're doing, whether or not you're eating, sleeping. He thinks about the nightmares you have, the way your body shakes as you wake, pale and trembling, gasping for air.
He thinks about how his brothers can't seem to calm you, how only Omega is successful, her soft voice and gentle touch somehow bringing you some measure of peace.
Tech can't help but feel that it should be him. It should be him comforting you, not Omega. It should be him easing your pain, not his little sister.
It should be him.
He isn't sure why he can't seem to do anything right. After they left the facility, after you finally started letting him hold you, Tech thought things would get easier.
But they haven't.
You still seem so distant, so far away. You still refuse to eat, to sleep, to talk. And Tech isn't sure how much longer he can handle this.
He's frustrated. Frustrated at himself, at the Empire, at the galaxy. Most of all, he's frustrated at you. Not that he would ever admit it aloud.
You've been through a lot. More than anyone should have to go through. Tech understands that. But he can't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, if you'd been willing to accept his help earlier, things would have been different.
Tech doesn't mean it, not really. He doesn't think that it's your fault. He's just tired, and angry, and frustrated. 
And, if he's being honest, he's a little jealous.
You trust Omega. You open up to her. But you won't even talk to him.
It hurts.
Tech has spent the past few weeks trying to make things right, to show you that he’s changed. But you seem unwilling to let him in, to let him help.
It's infuriating.
Tech knows he shouldn't feel this way, but he can't help it. You were his girlfriend, his partner, his lover. And now, you won't even look at him.
He's trying, but he feels like he's getting nowhere. He wants to help, wants to be there for you. But he can't do anything if you won't let him.
“I’m not sure if this is a good idea,” Omega says, her voice uncertain. Her feet swing over the edge of the bunk across from him, and her brow furrows. “Won’t she be mad?”
Tech sighs, running a hand over his face. He knows that Omega is worried, but he can't sit around any longer. He has to do something.
"She is already upset. I'm not sure anything else could make things worse."
Tech tries to sound convincing, but the truth is, he isn't sure what the consequences will be. He isn't sure what will happen, isn't sure if this is a good idea. But he has to try.
“If you’re sure,” Omega replies slowly.
Tech nods, trying his best to look confident.
"I'm sure."
He isn't.
"Okay."
Omega pulls out her datapad and types the message. Tech watches as she hits send, then lets out a shaky breath. She slides off the edge of the bunk and hurries down the ramp, leaving him alone.
Tech waits, his nerves growing with each passing second.
You are going to hate him for this, he's sure.
But he has to do it. He has to try.
"Tech?"
Your voice is quiet, uncertain. You're standing in the doorway, arms wrapped around yourself, and Tech feels his chest ache at the sight.
You're here.
You're actually here.
"Hello," he says quietly.
“Where’s Omega?” you ask, your voice sharp. You step forward, and the light catches your face. Tech can see the bags under your eyes, the paleness of your skin. You look tired, worn down, and he hates it.
Tech winces. "She's not here."
"Where is she?"
You sound panicked, and Tech doesn't blame you. The last thing he wants is to make you more stressed. But he needs to talk to you, and this is the only way.
"She is fine," Tech says, trying to sound reassuring. "I asked her to leave."
You narrow your eyes, taking another step toward him. You're still clutching your arms, as if you're trying to hold yourself together. Tech wants to reach out, to take your hands, but he knows you'll pull away.
“What do you want, Tech?” Your voice is harsh, but Tech doesn't mind. You're speaking to him, which is more than he's gotten out of you in days.
"I, ah, I wanted to talk," Tech replies, his tone hesitant.
"About what?"
Tech swallows, his throat suddenly dry. "About us."
You frown, folding your arms across your chest. "There is no 'us', Tech. There hasn't been for a long time. You made sure of that."
Your words are sharp, cutting, and Tech can't help but flinch. He deserves them, he knows. But it doesn't make the sting any less. He takes a deep breath, trying to find the words.
"I'm sorry," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was wrong. I shouldn't have ended things."
You stare at him, eyes wide. Tech isn't sure if you're surprised, or just angry. He can't read you, not anymore. He isn't sure if he ever could. He's always felt a little bit of awe, a little bit of fear when it came to you. And now, more than ever, he feels completely lost.
"So why did you?" you ask, your voice tight.
Tech sighs, adjusting his goggles nervously. He's not sure how to answer that. He isn't sure if he even has an answer.
"I was... afraid," he admits, his voice low.
"Afraid of what?"
Tech shrugs, looking away. "Everything. The future, the war, losing you."
You don’t say anything, and Tech takes a deep breath, forcing himself to continue.
“I ran an exhaustive cost benefit analysis, and I had determined that the risks far outweighed the benefits. I could not continue our relationship knowing that I would most likely hurt you. In my mind, I needed to end things before they went any further. Before you were able to become attached.”
"I was already attached," you whisper, your voice cracking. "I was already in love with you."
Tech's heart stutters.
"You were?" he asks, his voice quiet.
You nod, biting your lip. Tech feels his stomach twist, a mixture of guilt and hope rising in him. You were in love with him. You are in love with him. And he has hurt you more than he ever thought possible.
"I was a coward," Tech says quietly. "I knew if we had gone any further, and I were to hurt you, it would have caused me immense emotional pain. And, in the process, I would have risked my ability to perform at optimal efficiency, and that would have resulted in harm to the rest of the squad."
Tech looks up, meeting your gaze. "I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't want to put the squad at risk. But in the end, I failed at both."
You frown, and Tech can tell that you're trying to understand.
"So, let me get this straight," you begin, your voice strained. "You broke up with me, because you thought it was the best option for everyone involved."
Tech nods, his expression pained.
“That’s not for you to decide, Tech. I can make my own decisions. And, I decided to be with you. But instead, you made the decision for both of us, and you didn't even bother to ask my opinion."
“I knew that if I had discussed it with you, you would have tried to convince me otherwise,” Tech explains, his voice soft. “And I wasn't certain I would be able to resist your arguments."
You shake your head, an incredulous look on your face. "So, basically, you dumped me because you couldn't trust yourself to make a logical decision?"
Tech's shoulders slump, and he nods, his head bowed.
"That is correct. It is also…” He looks at his hands, his expression pained. “For all of my unique modifications, I am still a clone. I am still expendable. But you, you are not. You are more important. You are special." He hesitates, swallowing hard. "You are irreplaceable."
Tech can see tears gathering in your eyes, and he feels a fresh wave of guilt wash over him. He never meant to hurt you, but it seems he has managed to do just that. And now, he doesn't know how to fix it.
"Tech, no." You shake your head. "You're not expendable. None of you are."
"That may be the case," Tech concedes. “But at the time I could not see a future in which the two of us could have a happy life together. Not with the way things were, not with the risk we faced. So, I chose the safest option."
"But we could have figured it out, Tech. We could have found a way."
Tech shakes his head, his expression weary.
"I was not willing to take the risk. I was not willing to gamble with your safety, with your happiness. It was a decision I had to make. For all of our sakes."
You are quiet for a moment, your expression thoughtful. Tech can see the pain in your eyes, the hurt and betrayal, and he wishes he could take it all away. He wishes he could erase his mistakes, undo his actions.
"You made the wrong choice," you say at last, your voice low.
"Yes, I did," Tech admits, his voice quiet. "I was wrong. About a great many things."
He looks up, his gaze meeting yours.
"But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you that I'm serious, that I want to fix things."
"Why?"
"Because I love you," Tech says, his voice breaking.
Your eyes widen, and you suck in a breath. Tech can see the surprise in your expression, the shock. He knows you didn't expect him to say it, to admit it. But it's the truth. And Tech can't hide it any longer. He can't pretend.
He has to be honest. Even if it means losing you.
"I love you," he repeats, his voice stronger this time. "I always have. I've never stopped. I didn't think I was capable of loving anyone, not like this. But, you changed that." He pauses, swallowing hard. "I don't want to lose you, cyare. Not again. Not ever."
"Tech."
You say his name softly, your voice cracking. Tech can see the tears welling in your eyes, and his chest aches. He wants to take you in his arms, wants to kiss away the pain, but he knows he can't. He knows he has to let you decide. He has to let you choose.
You step forward, and his breath hitches in his chest. You're so close, so near, and Tech wants nothing more than to hold you. But he doesn't. He stays where he is, waiting.
You reach out, your hand cupping his cheek, and Tech leans into the touch, savoring the warmth of your skin. You're looking at him, your eyes searching his, and Tech hopes that you can see the truth in them, the sincerity. He hopes that you can feel how much he loves you, how much he needs you.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice breaking.
You nod, and he can see the tears streaming down your cheeks. Tech wants to wipe them away, but he doesn't move. He stays where he is, watching you, waiting. You're still staring at him, and Tech feels a flicker of hope bloom in his chest.
"I'm sorry, too," you whisper, your voice raw. "I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry for everything."
You pause, biting your lip. "I love you, Tech. I never stopped. And, I don't want to lose you, either."
Tech's heart swells, and he can't stop the tears that come, or the smile that spreads across his face. You're looking at him with such tenderness, with such love, that he can't help but reach for you, pulling you close, wrapping his arms around you, holding you tight. You melt into his embrace, your arms winding around his waist, your face buried in his chest. 
Tech can feel your tears, wet against his skin, and he runs a hand through your hair, trying to soothe you. You cling to him, your grip almost desperate, and Tech feels his heart break a little more.
You've been through so much, endured so much pain, and he was part of it. He was responsible for it. And he doesn't know how to make it better. He doesn't know how to take away the hurt, the betrayal, the fear. All he can do is hold you, and promise to never let you go.
"Cyare," he breathes, his voice choked with emotion. "You will never lose me. I am yours. Always."
And then, you lift your head, and his eyes meet yours, and Tech can't stop the surge of emotion that rushes through him. You're so beautiful, so perfect, and he can't believe how lucky he is. 
You're the best thing that has ever happened to him, the only thing that has ever made him feel alive. And now, here you are, in his arms, telling him you love him. It's everything he's ever wanted, everything he's dreamed of. And it's real. You're real. You're here. And you're his.
"I love you," Tech whispers, and then he leans in, capturing your lips with his.
The kiss is soft, gentle, filled with everything he's feeling, everything he can't say. And when you pull away, Tech's heart skips a beat, and he wonders how he ever thought he could live without you.
"I love you," you whisper back, and Tech can't stop the smile that spreads across his face, the tears that sting his eyes. He holds you tight, and the world seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you.
He's never letting you go again.
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dunmeshistash · 5 months ago
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The thing about Laios as well, is what if Kui genuinely didn't intentionally write him to be autistic? It's impossible to know how much she does or doesn't know about autism or if that was ever something she was directly considering in the process of making him. People have been joking (?) about how angry they'll be and how they'll lose faith in her as an author if she says she didn't write him to be autistic and it feels like it's putting really pressure on her (with no knowledge of her personal life and experiences in a culture that stigmatizes autism greatly) and putting autistic fans in a bad situation no matter what happens, because ableists aren't suddenly going to be any more positive about it if she says he is and if she says he's not or doesn't give an answer then that'll just embolden more people to be hateful, especially if people do react badly to that. With the way people have been getting really invasive about Kui's sexuality for ages now, too, I'm worried about how entitled people feel to her living up to their idea of her as a person and that the same kind of parasocial treatment could happen over this.
I'm autistic and think Laios is an autistic character regardless of if Kui would describe him by that word and that it's important to discuss that in a positive light. I don't think that's any less the case even if she does say directly that's not how she wrote him. But it feels like the pressure on her to confirm it is a situation that could go very badly in a lot of ways.
Kui has written about mental health in other situations, more specifically she has a whole one shot that uses being a werewolf as a metaphor to being a special needs child and one which compares socializing to a rythym game because it feels so hard to the main character. (Edit: Oh yeah the werewolf one is a little... idk how much I agree with it, it's negative about medication use so you might want to not read it)
I think is HIGHLY unlikely it wasn't on purpose, there's details about Laios that have no need to be there otherwise like the fact he has texture issues
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tbh I think it's a little rude to imply she wrote a perfect autism representation by accident?
People are overreacting as usual about whether she admits it out loud or not tbh. I see it as them having no respect for her as a real person only wanting the image they have of her to fit.
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sxcret-garden · 6 months ago
Note
hmmm smth im curious about…mtl likely in ateez to be a brat tamer/enjoy a bratty s/o
we're just gonna ignore the fact that this ask is almost 3 months old ok aksldjöfksa i've been wanting to answer this for ages and suddenly so much time has passed... anyway
thanks for the ask, anon!! my detailed thoughts are under the cut~ i hope you enjoy hehe
most
Hongjoong
Wooyoung
Jongho
Mingi
Yunho
San
Seonghwa
Yeosang
least
I think both Hongjoong and Wooyoung would thoroughly enjoy being with a bratty s/o! Hongjoong especially strikes me as such a brat tamer - dating a brat will for sure bring out his dominant side a lot! He'll have so much fun playing with you, figuring out how to make you submit to him and what kind of punishments you enjoy receiving just as much as he enjoys giving. The type to learn very quickly how to keep you under control outside of the house - however, once you're in the comfort of your own home he'll deliberately give you a bit more freedom to go wild, because he loves observing your bratty behaviour almost as much as he loves it when he gets to put you in your place for it. The same goes for Wooyoung, except he'll give you a lot more freedom to tease and disobey him. In that, he's not the biggest brat tamer I think - though on some days dom!Wooyoung will jump out and completely ruin you - but he enjoys the playful power exchange of being with someone willing to challenge him. He'll definitely let you win on some days, while on others he'll make sure to drag out the mutual teasing for hours, until you're both so horny that you just can't keep your hands off each other anymore.
Of course Jongho needs to be in the top 3 for this, but I didn't put him at the very top because I think he isn't up for brat taming all the time. Sometimes he just needs things to be peaceful and sweet while having sex - more often than the people ranked above him - but that doesn't mean he won't enjoy himself when you do act up. Will be pretty strict with you, and when you're both in the mood for it, hard dom!Jongho will jump out. As much as you misbehave, he'll be mean to you, knowing just how to break you into submitting to him completely, and he won't be satisfied until there's not a single thought of disobeying him left in your mind. And tbh he definitely gets off on outsmarting you and making you beg for him to finally give you what you need after he made sure you're done being bratty for the day.
I put Mingi fourth because I think while he wouldn't explicitly be seeking out a bratty partner, being with a brat would bring sides of him to light that no other kind of person could. I think you gotta smooth him into the experience, but after you've gotten comfortable with each other, bratty behaviour just might tickle a very dominant side out of him. Like one day you'll be teasing him in public and this guy will just eventually have enough of your attitude, drag you off somewhere, and whisper the dirtiest threat possible in your ear and neither of you will know where that just came from kslfjasdjf needless to say, he'll really enjoy discovering all about this very different side to him together with you.
Yunho and San would both enjoy having their partner acting bratty sometimes, but they wouldn't want to take on the role of a brat tamer all the time in my opinion. They're both softies at heart and need times where they can simply please you and make you feel good without any big power dynamics involved, being more on the service dom side of things after all. For Yunho especially, I think that he would rather keep things to the comfort of your own home, so his first instinct at you trying to rile him up or tease him in public wouldn't be to put you in your place or anything (though I do think he'd be up for that sometimes if you discussed it beforehand!). That said, I do think that both Yunho and San enjoy this kind of dynamic from time to time! They both have a dominant side to themselves, and they're definitely more than willing to try brat taming with a trusted partner. And just like with Mingi, you might uncover some surprising sides of them in the process...
As someone who has trouble seeing Seonghwa as a big dom, I put him towards the lower end of the list. He's probably a bit similar to Mingi, in that a bratty s/o might just tickle a side out of him that enjoys brat taming a lot! But I think he isn't as likely to actually end up with a bratty s/o. He wants to please you in any way he can, and certainly enjoys submitting to his partner too, so if his s/o turns out to want to be brat tamed, he might not really know what to do with that at first. Though if you're really into that, you two will be sure to figure out how to go about it in order to make the experience enjoyable for both of you!
Last but not least is Yeosang, because I just really think he'd prefer submitting to his partner than the other way around. I just don't see him as a brat tamer at all, so if you throw some bratty behaviour his way he will just be very confused and not know how to respond to that at all. Sure, over time you two can definitely incorporate some teasing into your sexual relationship, and if you explain to him how you want him to react to you being bratty he'll definitely do that. But I think it'd be more something he's willing to dip his toes into in order to please you, and not something that comes natural to him or that he'd get the most pleasure out of!
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onlyseokmins · 2 years ago
Text
bereal • k.m.g.
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Pairing: kim mingyu x fem!reader Genres: smut (minors dni!), established relationship!au, taking pics during sex!au Warnings: reader uses she/her pronouns and is referred to as a girl, consensual pictures during sex that are shared to friends lol, swearing, degradation, objectification (tiny), a lot of oral (m. receiving), rope play (reader is tied up), marking, tiny use of toys, teasing, edging (m. &f. receiving), prolly oral fixation tbh, mentions of fingering (f. receiving), mentions of overstim, me thinking I'm funny again as usual, and like "you better cum fast" kinda thing fjkdsj um pls lmk if i missed smth WC: 2.5k A/N: helloooo I had no idea what BeReal was so this was a bit of an experience 😬 would just like to thank @/princessbetsy123-blog for their patience and understanding, I hope I did well haha also omg tumblr user onlyseokmins is writing non-sub gyu? show-stopping (derogatory) also huge thank you to @a1sh1teruu for the mingyu pic! ❤️ @princessbetsy123-blog asked: can you do any member where his BEREAL goes off during sex and their friends react? The reader has hickies all over her chest and neck and is tied up?
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Ding!
⚠️ Time to BeReal. ⚠️
• 2 min left to capture a BeReal and see what your friends are up to! •
"Would you look at that, baby? What perfect timing, d'ya wanna show everyone how pretty you look?"
Your butt rests gingerly against the back of your ankles, wrists bound together behind your back. The soft ropes limiting your arm movements match the ones winding across your body that Mingyu spent over half of the afternoon tying, untying, and tying again with his large-ass fingers until he was satisfied after reading detailed instructions from Minghao.
Finally able to perfect the multi-colored knots and ties that looked absolutely lecherous yet stunning across your naked body, rubbing and squeezing all the right places. It doesn't matter whether you remain still like the obedient slut you are or wriggle and writhe in anticipation of what the man's going to do next to thrillingly torture you, you felt their restriction.
"Yeah, Gyu."
"The prettiest," he murmurs, thumb slipping under the ropes that accentuate your breasts. Your posture is helpfully corrected and uplifts your chest in a flattering manner so he can nip and suck as he likes without you wiggling away.
You mewl at the binds tightening, arching your back as much as you can while he traces patterns connected by the harsh love bites you can feel littered across your skin that he'd left earlier. 
Your body aches pleasantly all over. Having been edged for hours by now, it was well into the evening after a combination of intense, loving foreplay and the still-buzzing vibrator abandoned on the bed sheets from the distracting notification chime of his phone instead. You lean into his tickling touch as it slides up your neck, following more bites that scream "Mine!" all over.
"Mine," he confirms aloud with a whisper. "Will you let me show them how true that fact is?"
"Only… only if you let me cum." 
Your eyes close as he holds your cheek tenderly and aims the phone's camera lens. A sheen of arousal sticks to your thighs and no doubt ruined the ties around them with how much of a mess he's created out of you.
"Of course, love. I'd be an incompetent fool if I didn't and couldn't make such a pretty thing like you cum at least once."
He should've thought of that earlier, is what you want to snark back but you're too desperate to give him any attitude for his blabberings. He would never deny you anything for too long anyways.
Though you take the opportunity to bite lightly on the knuckle of the finger that somehow pushes past your lips, grazing your upper teeth down until right before his nail bed begins, opting to suckle at the tip instead. Swirling it around languidly and sloppily, saliva coating every inch of his finger to soothe the stinging indentation marks you feel out with your tongue.
"Dirty girl."
"Mhm, but I'm your dirty girl."
"Damn right you are."
He knows what you're playing at, what you're trying to prove. The vixen-like gleam behind those fluttering eyelashes as you dare to smirk — releasing his finger with a sickening pop that his cock wishes was it instead.
But he manages to hold back, intent on finishing his own little game before he fucks you stupid so you can't continue to tease him like this.
"One minute left. What position do you think would look best? There are too many to decide from."
Ever the photographer, Mingyu groans because he's utterly turned on (and continues to lose his mind over how good you look) but also due to frustration (again, over how perfect you are from every angle) for you as his muse sources an ever-flowing spring of inspiration. A blessing and a curse.
He's moving back and forth across the mattress, unintentionally jostling your tied-up form with his large body. You dumbly choke out "dick" when he nearly falls into you with the usual Mingyu-clumsiness you know and love. Luckily he possesses the brain cell at the moment to connect the dots between his covered crotch nearly shoved right into your face versus you actually insulting him.
"Baby wants my dick?"
You nod fervently, wishing you could reach your hands out and grab it. Instead, you opt to open your mouth as wide as you've memorized the impressive width of his cock, tongue lolling out as well for the heavy weight of it.
Mingyu full on moans — loudly — at your frenzied eagerness. Watching hungrily as your lower body shifts and your thighs squeeze together, skin straining against the tightened constraints of the rope. Evidence of how much you want him shows all of your body. From your lidded gaze to your puffy, neglected clit he can just imagine prettily between your legs — and it makes his chest swell in pride. 
He's quick to shed his boxers and absolutely cannot resist a little love slap to your cheek with his throbbing, aching dick. Smugly painting your cheek with a shiny smear of precum and tapping your awaiting tongue teasingly, not letting your lips wrap around him. 
Yet.
The timer is set and so is Mingyu's mind.
But yours is as well.
"Damn it, thirty seconds and I can't decide what's best."
You watch in mild irritation at the way he holds his dick with a frown of renewed concentration, bringing it in and out of the frame of his phone lenses. It's like he's teasing you again but this time not on purpose, the leaking head of his cock bobbing closer and then away from you. 
While you normally admire his talents at getting perfect, incredible shots on the first take, the purpose of BeReal was authentic pictures within the randomly selected global, two-minute time slot. Mingyu's pride was always on the line for some reason (probably a stupid bet between the boys). Only one snapshot and never a second late but at this point, all you cared about and wanted was some action. 
You're aware of how turned on he already is, watching the occasional veined palm rubbing against the growing bulge in his boxers. Stroking at it in the same motions as the vibrator he'd teased you with. A new set-up like this excited him (and you), evident by the dark wet stain where the tip of his cock strains against the fabric of his underwear. 
So, when he draws closer again, you lunge forward almost losing your balance but that just works to your advantage as you practically swallow and then choke around his goshdarn dick. Incredibly adept from tons and tons of practice, size training, and testing with his large package pays off, working to your advantage without an insane amount of prep work.
Mingyu lets out a hiss, a crazed look of insanity mixed with lust, affection, and wonder swimming in his narrowed eyes. He runs his hands through the sweaty black bangs strewn across his forehead, meeting your pleading tear-filled gaze with a huff.
"What, does my baby think she can make me cum quick enough?"
You answer him with your actions, rather than wasting words because your mouth is stuffed full of cock anyways. Though it doesn't stop the filthy gags as you take him boldly down the throat, bobbing and nodding your head in what end up looking like successive 'yes' motions, intent on pushing him over that edge. 
"Yeah, just like the pretty whore she is."
And as Mingyu's pretty little whore, you know exactly what makes him tick — or cum, for that matter. 
Stilling your head and swallowing around him several times before you have to back off for air. Not leaving him unattended for too long, you start nuzzling the underside of his cock as you catch your breath. Licking between his balls and mouthing each one with some special attention to make up for the lacking use of your hands. Following the prominent vein that leads all the way up to his swollen tip, collecting salty excesses of precum with a promised swirl of your tongue.
Rinse and repeat.
You make a point to meet his gaze every time his eyes flutter open with the most babygirlism look you can attempt with a cock in your mouth. Not that it's too difficult to achieve with how much you want him to give into you. 
"Desperate little slut, you want me to feed you my cum, don'tcha?"
Despite his words, Mingyu's already shaking after only three smooth rounds of your perfect little mouth routine. Teasing, tiny variations and switch-ups to keep him guessing with that one brain cell that's deteriorating. His resolve, especially when it comes to you, is terribly weak and crumbling by the nanosecond. It doesn't matter how defined his six-pack is as it ripples with each shuddering intake of air he breathes in or those toned arms that twitch, bulging and flexing as he tries not to break the phone in one hand or rip out strands of hair with the other. 
Even his thighs are trembling like a newborn lamb. Oh, how you wish you could place your hands against them but watching the muscles ripple in front of your eyes is rewarding enough. Although, your neglected pussy aches and you can't help but lightly grind against the back of your own shins searching for some semblance of relief.
And when he takes notice of what you're doing, that alone is enough to tip Mingyu over the edge. You know it before he does.
"Gonna… god, gonna give it to you, pretty baby. Fill up that dirty mouth of yours."
The low and guttural moan of pleasure turns into a pathetic whine full of frustration because you completely abandon his cock. Leaning back and away, you watch with thirstful glee at the way it bobs up and down, a shining mess from precum and your spit. 
But little spurts of white pool out of his tip, a painfully slow and almost stilted release because of the sudden departure of your warm mouth. He growls your name and swears when all you do is lick your lips with a smirk like a cat that was asked if it ate the missing canary.
"Revenge," you manage to croak out with a sore throat.
"Revenge, my ass."
Mingyu can't complain all that much given what tortures he'd put you through earlier but that doesn't hide the cute little frowning pout on his handsome face. He has enough wherewithal to re-aim his phone with his thumb poised over the shutter-release button. Predicting what you want as you lean in once more, tongue hanging back out as you bat your eyelashes up at the camera and incidentally — at him.
He can't help but curse you out a bit like you always do at him when the situation was switched. Muttering the filthiest, most derogatory rambles that have the empty walls of your cunt fluttering as he furiously rubs his aching cock with a large hand that barely diminishes either's size.
Finally, the successive ropes of white you've been waiting for spurt out, painting your face and landing on your tongue just as you like it. And you grin salaciously at the click of the lenses capturing the depraved image. Not just of you tied up on your knees, hands behind your back, lips swollen, and pretty face covered in splatters of white but the front camera catches Mingyu — albeit, pretty blurrily — throwing his head back and biting his lip as he cums.
And within seconds of the timer running out, he presses 'post'. Tossing the phone on the bed and pushing you down, the side of your body hits the bouncy mattress at the same time the inanimate object does. Mingyu easily loosens the ties and knots with a surprising amount of vigor despite his harsh panting, a wild look in his eyes. The vibrator that's still buzzing is increased one intensity level and you shudder in anticipation.
"You were saying something about revenge?" he questions with snark, lifting your thigh with his free hand, the toy coming closer to your dripping center — far away enough that it's not even close to touching you and yet you can still feel the powerful vibrations at a distance buzzing through the airwaves. "Where's that cute confidence now? Just opening your legs like the desperate whore you always are, hm?"
He spends the rest of his time working you consistently up to that precipice before dropping you like an elevator without its wires, unable to crash over that peak of pleasure. As if he hadn't done it earlier.
Again and again, with his fingers and that stupid vibrator until his cock has sprung back to life (in reality, isn't too long and yet it feels like forever). And then you're screaming, creaming, squirting, crying, and cumming over and over. Making a complete mess as he pounds your poor weeping pussy until you nearly black out, the both of you ignoring (or not even noticing) the hundreds of notifications lighting up Mingyu's phone.
*the8thwonder used RealMoji, :hao_disgusted:*
cherrycheol: well damn wish i could take back the time i just spent wondering what was keeping him from being the first to post 🤦
> gam3rbo1: u know gyu will do it w/o fail
> joshuahhhhhh: leave it to him to not miss a moment no matter what he's up to 🥴
*tangerineboos used RealMoji, :mingyu_is_loser:*
tangerineboos: can i report them??
> tangerineboos: their account IS private right?
> jeonghangel: why report she's pretty 🥵💦
> jeonghangel: altho i'd prefer NOT to see gyu's nutting face
> jeonghangel: THAT'S reportable 😒
> gam3rbo1: gyu might hit u jeonghan
> jeonghangel: 🤷 im into that
> tangerineboos: 🤢🤕 i'd prefer not to see at all 
> black3y3: i could help u w/that 👍
> black3y3: isn't that how his gf's acct got banned 
> dinostar: yes i reported her bc i thought her acct got hacked
> dinostar: turns out they just wanted to share their porn but forgot they were public 😃
*w00z1 used RealMoji, :jihoon_disapproves_15:*
realtiger: i thought pussies were banned
> junhehe: technically no pussy is seen
> realtiger: 🧐 SORRY i wasn't looking that close 
> tangerineboos: does hoshi even know where or what the pussy is 😂🫵
> realtiger: yeah man there's 1 in wonwoo's moment as usual 🙄💀
> gam3rbo1: pls don't bring matilda into this her fur is too shiny for ur greasiness
> junhehe: 🫰 matilda deserves the world 
> gam3rbo1: dni if ur not a matilda stan or jun ❌
> tangerineboos: yeah geez hoshi if miss tilda is a pussy wouldn't that make you one too 🤡🫵
> gam3rbo1: 🤨 i just said dni
> realtiger: lies and false slander i'm a tiger
> tangeringeboos: 🥊exactly. ur a pussy lolol
> realtiger: brb gonna go fight boo 👊
cherrycheol: ^ they won't be missed
> gam3rbo1: ditto
> joshuahhhhhh: at least seok hasn't posted or my eardrums would be bleeding
> dk21897: ummmmmmmmmmmmmm
> gam3rbo1: ope
> jeonghangel: speak of the devil and he shall appear
> joshuahhhhhh: 😮‍💨 no somehow the pizza he quick ubered just arrived
> dk21897: 😭😭😭😭😭😭 it was late so I had to wait!
> junhehe: isn't bereal supposed to be authentic??????????????????
 > dk21897: why are you judging me when gyu is tying up his gf
 > dk21897: shoot i can't @ her acct
 > dk21897: BLINK TWICE IF U NEED HELP
> joshuahhhhhh: these noise canceling earbuds work wonders 10/10 rec
> jeonghangel: im sure she's just fine 🥴
 > dk21897: TMI
> jeonghangel: 🤷 u asked
By the time the boys have worked out their back-and-forth commentaries, you're laying in Mingyu's arms as he scrolls, occasionally showing you what they've said. Half-asleep, you snort, "Should we thank Hao for the help?"
"I mean we could, but he'll deny it all."
He does, of course, since it's a public announcement — and criticizes how Mingyu had tied the knots from what he can see. But he kindly sends a new resource PDF the next day, a sarcastic warning attached to keep such things private if the two of you don't want to be judged on your technique.
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onlyseokmins: March 2023 ©
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glitterincandles · 5 months ago
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smiling friends playing minecraft ; ☆
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glep
is the one who thought of the idea in the first place #socialmediamanager
brought it up to mr. boss as a "team bonding activity" LOL
in charge of their minecraft server and mediates any conflict that happens within it
the ultimate gamer actually a gamer GOD
is in the game 24/7, they never stop the grind
definitely the first one to find diamonds
yo glep the typa guy to have his whole house and storage decked out by the first day
has an automatic farm for everything (cobblestone, iron, gunpowder, slime, etc) like u name it they have it for some reason
he doesn't let everyone use them for free though
he makes the others "pay" (read: do something embarrassing, run an errand for him, give him iron or something) to get access to any of his automatic farms of their choosing for a whole day
they can negotiate w them tho
like if one of them comes up to him and they have something that he doesn't find valuable then they DO have a chance to convince him of its value but otherwise it won't work lol
in fact he'll be quite offended
like u think that red dye is enough to get access to my automatic iron farm?! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
undeniably the most powerful person in the server
his minecraft skin is definitely either one of those meme skins with an oddly realistic face on the torso or a skin that looks like some sort of lizard dragon monster thing
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mr. boss
honestly barely knew what minecraft was before glep brought it up
he did assume it was some kind of game when he hears the word
like any other video game, he had to be introduced to it by the ppl around him
despite him approving of the game, he's barely ever joins the server
^^^^ he's more into rhythm games and fps
has no clue whats going on in the server tbh
he just gets bits and pieces based off of what others say to him or around him
because of that he tries to join the server more often but he really really can't get ahold of minecraft in general bc he gets bored very easily and needs outside stimuli
is the type to log into a server he hasn't touched in a hot second and be upset that everyone else is so far ahead
he always spawns in the middle of nowhere every time bc he hasn't made or slept in a bed yet
^^^ because he usually leaves the server within 5 minutes which isn't long enough for the day-night minecraft cycle to commence (minecraft days are 10 minutes long)
when he logs on while its nighttime in the server he literally BREAKS into allan's house (much to his dismay) and forgets to patch any hole he left in his walls or windows
he hits/kills everyone else in minecraft for fun
literally just logs in to cause chaos then leave
^^^ everyone is thankful that he doesn't have access to tnt yet
definitely uses the alex minecraft skin
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allan red
he took a while to accept that they have a minecraft world together
he found it kinda obnoxious (he joined the server anyway)
determined to have the best house in the game
if he had to take any role, he would be the builder
the first thing he did when he logged in was start building a house... like wood enters his inventory, he just makes a fuckin axe then uses the rest of the wood to build his house ;w;
he's actually pretty good at it since he already is very detail-oriented and shit so he can definitely make a fire house
when it comes to mining or combat tho he's so shit
^^^ glep helps in this aspect LOL
only went to the nether for glowstone and it pissed charlie off once
bc theyre already pretty close, glep is more lenient on him and is usually on his side when it comes to any conflict that occurs in the server
not only does he put a lot of effort into his houses, he also puts a lot of effort into the outside of his houses
he just be building shit
built a whole mansion for his minecraft dog once (just bc)
every time he dies in minecraft he's like "ok that means its time for me to log off"
surprisingly has a very healthy balance of play time. he plays just enough to get very far in the game and keep up with everything and ALSO keep his real life stabilized and normal
he has a creative minecraft world outside of the server that he tries redstone in to get lights in his normal minecraft house to work without it looking too bulky and ugly
^^^ he also uses it to make booby traps for anyone entering his house without permission
^^^^ they never fucking work on mr. boss
he made his minecraft skin himself and its just him if he were yassified
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charlie dompler
oh god fucking finally was probably what ran through his mind when he heard the news
he probably joked about it once to pim and was surprised that it actually came true
this guy is second to glep when it comes to gaming
like srsly bro probably has a gaming setup and/or is saving up for one
he was the second to join the minecraft server (second to glep again)
he is the opposite of allan; he hates building and only ever mines or fights mobs
in fact he made his whole minecraft hideout in the side of a cave and it only has like. one crafting table, six fucking furnaces, and like 10 chests full of random drops and bulllshit, then his singular bed in the middle of the room with a big path leading down to a random ass cave
looking at his minecraft hideout would make a minecraft builder CRY their eyes out its worse than u think
would often vc with pim and play with him on the server
spends a concerning amount of time on minecraft bc he always has something to do on it, he just gives himself random side quests
despite the disorganization of his minecraft home he's actually more organized in minecraft than in real life believe it or not
he probably hasn't touched grass since he joined the minecraft server
him and glep duel it out sometimes for fun, or they do like fighting challenges with each other like who can kill the most zombies without dying
extremely attached to a wolf he tamed when he first joined the server
he watched minecraft gaming youtubers and bc of that he enchants everything he owns bc those were his favorite episodes
his minecraft skin is some sort of character from one of his interests, like mr. frog or a random salty's mascot bc he finds it funny
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pim pimling
his poor cheap office laptop can barely run minecraft omfg
when he boots minecraft up, it'd lag so hard and the fans in his laptop would go crazy, then after five minutes minecraft runs "as normal"... like it's playable but not to ppl who are used to 250 fps
^^^ it happens every fucking time he doesn't know how to fix it
he's ok with it though he's like ok give it a sec this happens all the time ^w^
^^^^ was the last person to join the server bc of this
sings a song while he's doing a minecraft chore, like in the silly halloween special episode when he was singing picking up twigs! picking up twigs! that'll be him while getting wood or something similar
he's real careful about how long he plays bc he doesn't want his laptop to overheat
his combat skills r pretty good bc of his experience playing gwimbly's games when he was younger
his favorite thing is definitely farming though
he's at a constant dilemma of using bones for either bone meal or taming another wolf to add to his mini army
^^^ the mini army is only making his lag worse charlie Really doesn't understand
settled down in a village in one of those empty houses and fight to protect them from any raid that occurs
talks aloud to minecraft villagers as if they can hear him
his village house is filled with many animals actually
he is charmed by baby zombies and baby villagers
^^^ he adopted a baby villager in minecraft once
^^^^ she died in a freak accident during a raid
^^^^^ pim was heartbroken for days
he does a lot of side quests with charlie for fun
like charlie, his minecraft skin is a character from one of his interests,, most likely gwimbly or a character from that game
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