#and this isn't me calling out people who thought the conclusion was rushed

[rael-rider]

OFC Xtwitter misses the point of what Ewing was trying to do with the Storm vs Vulcan fight and gets mad because he didn’t do a cool DBZ fight to demonstrate how their fav would've won.

[lycheeloving]

Another multiverse yandere!Bruce fic, with special guest the Flash! It kind of got away from me and Bruce isn't even in this a lot... but I still love it tbh

again, i imagine this being at a time where you've been with Bruce for some time and have mostly accepted that you won't be getting away from him

Once again warning for typical yandere stuff, kidnapping, implied past noncon, minors dni. Oh and gn reader!

You're in the Batcave, sitting on Bruce's lap while he's typing away on his Batcomputer, researching something. He's in full Batman costume, which is hard and uncomfortable to sit on, but at least you're only sitting there and "warming him up" (as he puts it), instead of cockwarming him. Gotta be grateful for the little things. Actually, it's more like he's warming you up, because the suit must be warmer than what you're wearing (which isn't a lot), but, whatever, same difference.

At some point he pushes you off, stands up, growls out a "Don't touch anything, I'll be back soon," and proceeds to rush out of the cave in the Batmobile. Did he just leave you alone in the cave? Right next to all of his gadgets and the supercomputer?? You consider trying to contact the outside world for a second before coming to the conclusion that this must be a test, no way is he leaving you here alone if there's actually a way for you to get help! Probably.

Right as you've decided not to touch anything, the screen starts flashing with: "Incoming Video Call: Batman". What? Is he seriously calling you now? He's definitely trying to trick you into touching something, just so he'll have an excuse to punish you. No way are you falling for that! You're absolutely not going to push the button that would accept the call, even though it's glowing so enticingly... Also, what if he really needs your help (even though you have no clue what you could do to help Batman) and will punish you for not answering? Or better yet, he's seriously injured and you'll get to watch him die. That thought gets you to accept the video call.

...That's not Batman.

You stare at the guy who called you, and he's staring right back at you, seemingly just as confused as you are. Is that the Flash?? Isn't he supposed to be dead?

"...You're not Batman," he mumbles mostly to himself, then starts talking a bit louder. "I mean, I guess you could be Batman? I just was expecting you to look like more like my Batman. Not that he's my Batman, just, the Batman from my universe, I mean. Sorry. Are you Batman? You could totally be Batman, and just not be wearing the suit at the moment!"

"...I'm not ...Batman, he's... out, right now. You're the Flash, right? How are you- Why did it say Batman was calling? Wait, what do you mean by your universe??" This is too much information for you to process at the same time.

"Oh! Um, I'm from a parallel universe! Bruce somehow got his computer to be able to contact people in other universes and I'm pretty sure he built a portal thing, too... Anyways, I'm in the Batcave right now because Bruce is still on his way back and sent me ahead to call you, or, well, your Batman, to 'save some time', but I guess that was useless because Batman isn't here..." He stops rambling for a second, before adding: "Also I'm beginning to think Bruce just wanted to get rid of me, nothing we're doing currently is that time sensitive, and-"

"Wait, back up, did you say portal?" You cut him off before he can start monologuing again, sniffing an opportunity for escape. "Hypothetically, if someone were to go through that portal, could they stay in the other universe indefinitely, or would the universe or the person that went through the portal start falling apart or something...?"

"I don't think there's any issues with staying in a parallel universe! It's pretty cool, actually, the-" He stops himself from saying anything else. "Wait, who are you? I probably shouldn't be telling you all this. Are you, like, in a relationship with Bats? I mean, who else could get into the cave. And you're not wearing villain-who-broke-into-Batmans-lair clothes... or sidekick clothes..." He mumbles the last part to himself.

You can't stop staring at him. Just who is this guy? In spite of the weirdness of the situation it's actually really refreshing to be able to talk to someone who isn't completely stoic all the time (and hasn't kidnapped you). "I guess relationship is the most accurate? I mean, being kidnapped, locked up and kept as a fucktoy is a type of relationship, right?"

You say it as nonchalantly as possible, watching for his reaction to see if he thinks kidnapping people is normal, but it's looking good for you, because he's gaping like a fish out of water. "Y- Youre- by Batman? Bruce? That's- I don't-" He stutters, before awkwardly chuckling. "Ohhh, you're joking, right? You got me good, I almost believed you... Ha ha..." He doesn't seem entirely convinced.

You stare at him unblinkingly. What must his Batman be like for him not to believe you? Certainly nicer than yours. "Look, believe whatever you want, but could you do me a favor and open that portal? Bruce said he'd be back soon and I'd rather not be here when that happens, because he told me not to touch anything and instead of listening to him I answered your video call. He'll be super mad at me. Oh and this is the only real chance of escape I've ever gotten so I'd like to take it, please."

Something about the way you said it must have convinced him to believe you, as he mutters a quiet "...Alright," and before you can blink, he skids to a halt behind you through the already opened portal. Well, at least there's no doubt about him being the Flash, that was fast!

"Whew, that portal thing was harder to activate than I thought!" Thank god for super speed, you didn't even realize he was struggling with it. "So, um, what now? Do you just... come with me to the other Batcave?"

You look at him with stars in your eyes. Is this what it's like to be rescued by a superhero? You could cry, are you actually going to escape? No, not yet, you might trust him, but what about the other Batman in his universe?

"Sorry, just, are you sure your Batman isn't, like, secretly evil? Not keeping anyone locked up in his stupid manor?" He shakes his head vigorously. "I'm sure! He wouldn't- I know him, he would never even think about kidnapping anyone! And I definitely would know if there was someone locked in his manor, I've run through every room in his place way too often as to not have noticed someone trapped in there. He's a good guy, just, kind of stoic. And he hates fun. But he wouldn't hurt a fly! You know, unless it's an evil fly that needs to be stopped..."

Hm. Yeah, your Batman definitely hurts you sometimes and you're 99% sure you're not a supervillain or otherwise evil. "That sounds... convincing enough." You remember your shock bracelet and gesture towards it. "Um, could you please take this off of me first, before we go? It shocks me as soon as it detects that I've left the manor, and I don't want to find out if a parallel universe manor counts..."

He tries his best not to look as shocked as he feels while he inspects it carefully, then goes: "Um, wait a second, let me just-". He disappears and reappears in a flash. "So, I checked to see if maybe there's a manual for this thing somewhere, but I couldn't find anything. So I went through the entire manor, and guess what else I didn't find... Alfred!!" You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. "I guess that's what made your Batman so unhinged, sometimes I think Alfred is the only thing left standing between Batman and utter darkness..." This Alfred guy must be a total ray of sunshine then, you can't wait to meet him.

"So, what are we going to do about the shock bracelet, then? I'd rather not be in pain the entire time, but if you can't get it off that's still fine, as long as I can come with you..." "Oh, um, let me just-" Again, faster than you can blink he does something and the bracelet falls away from your wrist. Unfortunately, right as it hits the floor, an alarm goes off in the cave. Shit. You both grimace at each other, you should have know that the bracelet would send some kind of signal to Bruce as soon as it's no longer connected to you.

"Can you somehow disable his portal-making machine so he can't immediately follow us? Because I think we should leave right now, he's probably on his way back already!" You immediately go through the portal, not wanting to wait any longer. Even if Bruce can follow you, you'll have people protecting you on the other side. You think you can hear the Batmobile returning. Shit.

"Yeah, I should be able to-" You close your eyes and when you open them again, the portal to your universe is gone. A weight falls off your shoulders. "I messed with some wires on the other side, which closed the portal, but I was able to get back here just in time before it fully closed. He shouldn't be able to follow us. At least not immediately, he probably knows how to fix it, but this should buy us some time."

"Thank you so much. And I'm glad you made it back, I wouldn't want you to end up like the other Flash..." You sigh in relief. "The- What? What happened to the other Flash??" "Oh! Um, he's dead." You grimace sheepishly. "Sorry, that must be weird to hear."

His face goes pale. "You know what? I'm not even gonna ask what happened to him. I don't want to know. No, wait, I do want to know, how did he- No, don't tell me, whatever I say, do not tell me what happened to him."

You go to respond, but are interrupted by a sudden, loud: "Flash! Who is that?"

You flinch at the sound of his voice and turn around to face him. The Batman. Bruce Wayne. He only sounds like that when he's really angry. Your entire body screams at you to run and hide, or better yet, to apologize and beg. You've learned that hiding from him is pointless. He always finds you, and it only makes things worse. You freeze and stare at him with wide eyes, while he eyes you suspiciously. It's not him, you remind yourself. It's not him. He just looks the same.

He stops looking at you and turns to Flash instead. "You were supposed to contact the other Batman, not kidnap some terrified civilian." The Flash looks insulted for a second, before responding with an indignant: "Actually, I'm not the one who kidnapped them!". Batman narrows his eyes, then sighs. "Just explain why you thought it was a good idea to let a stranger into the Batcave."

You take half a step behind Flash before he begins explaining. "Turns out your other Batman kept them locked up! Your source for information and help is a kidnapper! Why are you even working with that guy? Did you know?" To his credit, Batman actually looks guilty after hearing that. "I didn't know, but I have to admit, I didn't look into him as much as I could have. Should have. Usually I look into every single detail of someone's life before working with them, but him looking and acting exactly like me must have made me lower my guard. It won't happen again, I assure you." He looks at you apologetically. Well, as apologetic as the Batman can look, which isn't very much, mostly he just looks stoic. But still, not an expression you've ever seen on your Batman, nor something he would ever say. You calm down a bit. This guy won't hurt you.

"So, um, is there anything we can do to stop him from following us?" You speak up quietly. "I mean, Flash messed with his portal machine or whatever it's called, but that won't stop him forever! He's obsessed with me, he won't just give up!" You start panicking again, maybe you were wrong to think you could ever be free.

"We'll think of something, I promise. We'll keep you safe. You have the whole Justice League on your side." The Flash nods in agreement to Batmans statement. You tentatively start feeling hopeful again, even if this doesn't work out, you'll at least have gotten a taste of freedom.

[ladyorigami]

How do you feel about season 4

Bad. I feel reeeeal bad about season 4. LOL I hate it, actually-hate what they did to my boy.

Yes I'm always focused most on Five as a character, but I will say as a whole, the season is just...just a mess. They took away a lot of particular traits from the characters in order to sort of give this...shock value? Not sure that's the word, but in order for us to see how differently bland and miserable everyone's life is this time around, and to do that, they also just, sucked a ton of their characters out right with it. We also have no catharsis, no proper conclusion to the relationships and events of s3, and even though they carry that over, they don't actually give resolution.

The plot also just-and the ENDING-I...okay I need to round back to Five for a second. I'm going to ramble rant about Five for a bit PASSIONATELY so SPOILER ALERT AHEAD, don't read below this if you don't want to see me lay down a quick wall of text about The Boy:

It's not like I don't understand the 'why' of it.

Imagine spending the majority of your life in an apocalypse, eating bugs and learning how to harden your heart and kill as a child, all for the CHANCE at getting back to your family.

Throwing him back into that scenario is like...the mere THOUGHT of that makes me insane with all of the character exploration we could have had and then DIDN'T GET ANY.

Like I can't even fathom the sheer trauma he was going through once they got lost in that subway for more than a couple weeks. He's essentially in his personal hell all over again and this time it's without that hope of his family he had before. Of course he's going to cling to the one person who is there, of course they both would, it's been years. Trauma bonding exists and they both have a lot of it and yes, they are like with their rough edges and independence. So sure, I can understand the 'why' and 'how' of this happening (even if I hate it and it lowkey gives me the ick)

But we didn't even GET the character parts of that. We didn't get any trauma, didn't get any PTSD, didn't get any look into Five's mind and heart there in the subway. This really would have been a perfect opportunity to finally crack all of that wide open, because it's always been brushed off before. But nope.

Instead, an affair with Lila. A rushed sloppy timelapse and then they're a thing now and that's...it? Like the whole point of that was just for them to have this weird relationship and then they came back??

There's a time that he even SEES a younger version of himself in the same apocalypse and he reacts like he isn't even there.

This character who becomes lost without a purpose and is still searching for it, whose flame is uncharacteristically dimmed of the usual fire? Yes. I would like to explore that.

Like I said it's not even necessarily the issue that it could have happened in the beginning but it's his attitude after that really got to me. The entitlement he had to square up to Diego?? The entitlement he had to continue to cling around her when her family is there and the way he's acting...it's like it's just terrible to me.

When Five loves he loves with his whole heart, he devotes everything he has to the people he cares for but once upon a time that used to be his family and like hell if I think he would fist fight Diego for LILA. Diego his brother...Diego whose eyes warmed with such love and relief in the second season when he saw Five at that hospital. Five who sacrificed himself numerous times over to keep them safe.

I get the point is that Five is lost. That his family clearly can't give him what he needs and he's just in some ways given up trying for it. He's-tired and he just wants to rest and have something or someone that he can call his own...but that's definitely not going to be the wife of his brother???? rihgqoirgoais

I just can't swallow this attitude by him in the after bits-and I definitely can't come to terms with the fact that they basically planted him back into his personal nightmare and all that came from that was a rushed love affair. It puts a bitter bitter taste in my mouth he deserved this character exploration, he deserved to actually have his family go try and save him for once-fight for him-show him that they care as much as he's cared for them.

(There is NO slander being thrown to people who like this ship before or after s4, you guys like what you like and that's fantastic. I just have issues with the way it was all handled and I must rant passionately.)

[ofmermaidstories]

Hii Merms, thank you so much for the kind response 💌🩷

It's been days and I honestly did not get the chance to read the official chapter yet. Which I believe I should do before responding even, because the issue with the leaks was the mistranslations here and there. And because so much of it was also open-ended many fans came up with stuff out of nowhere and pushed it into the ending and called it canon. So it was a mess.

It's weird to me, it felt like Horikoshi forced himself into an ending that would satisfy everyone else and not him, which ultimately resulted in him messing up a bit. Because he put such great great effort and thought into sympathising with the villains and what they story means for how hero society operates. And he kept on showing how flawed the society is until ch.429, the before last.

In the end, like u said, traditional hero rankings are still a thing. Some people have changed yes, like the old lady who ignored Tenko but reached out her hand to another version of him, that could have been like him. But the last chapter also shows that the majority, or at least a huge part of society, is still sticking to the old ways of thinking. (Like the guy mocking Dai for his quirk, how being a hero is somehow more of a thingfor "elte people").

And while Uravity began a project for quirk counselling that's now fundamental for society and Tentacole fought against racism. It seems everyone else continues on to be normal pros. And there is no shame in that, but idk, the fact you all took part in wars that occurred because of how society and hero society operates but continue to do the same thing your predecessors did is asking for another League of villains, another group of children and young who would be pushed to that. But maybe I'm jumping to conclusions since we barely got to see any of what the new pros (like Mirio) are doing.

Also goodness, the mistranslation that class A did not see Izuku after graduation and people so QUICKLY believed it and spread it around. I saw alot of post both on twitter and tiktok shaming class A for it.

My dear "we don't fact-check leaks even though it's a very common occurrence that mistranslations happen" people, are we really talking about the same class A? The same class A, that collectively as a class, decided to join Izuku back in his vigilante arc to help him? They were willing to go out and be vigilantes with him. But then Nezu assured them they can bring him back instead so he could rest and be protected all the same.

THAT SAME CLASS A? Who knew what OFA means and all it's connections, the way he was quirkless and got it. and the only thing they(Oijiro) asked was how does it feel like? They never made him feel weirded out about it. (It might not seem like a big deal, but when you look at the public reaction to it, like "isn't that AFO's ability tho" or "he's like a Nomu" u would see).

So also yeah, I'm so so happy about the fact they all contributed funds to his suit. But prior to that he was a teacher for what, 5 to 6 years? While I do think being a teacher suits him. Keeping him in the dark about getting a chance to be a hero again JUST as he seemed to accept he can be a hero by teaching and inspiring younger generations seemed a bit off to me. But then again, I wanted him to be able to grow and continue to be a hero so I guess I can't complain much about it.

Overall I'm actually happy and sad it ended, this show was with me for 6 years. And it's my most cherished so I don't want to say goodbye (we still have a movie and the anime, so exciting). Even if that small disappointment is still lingering.

Hii Liliii. 🌷 How are you feeling about it now that we’ve had a little bit more distance? Have you read the official chapter yet? I dunno if it makes that much of a difference, but it did for me LOL. I don’t read the scanlations (they’re UGLY 😡) but I do think that like, seeing the dialogue in action verses hearing a brief summary from a rushed translator does matter. And that was the case for me!! Whenever the fandom took the leaks and then like, ran wild with them, it always… idk! I won’t say it ruined things, really, but it definitely made things less fun, and for me personally it had a lot to do with how quickly the discussion goes from, “oh, the leaks are suggesting (thing happens)” to, “omg, this is cold hard fact and now 50k people agree”. For example: the other day I saw a post here, made in the wake of the leaks, that said something like, “oh i can’t believe kacchan singlehandedly funded deku’s suit” and like??? no the fuck he did not!!!! LOL. I guess it’s just a lethal combo of like, overzealous fans taking what they want from the leaks without taking the time to tell themselves hold up and wait, and then making it everyone else’s problem too. 💀 Overwhelmed by the siren song of instant gratification.

Having re-read the last couple of chapters, tho, I don’t think Hori wrote himself into a corner! There’s definitely a disconnect, though, between us as an audience, and Hori as the author—like we’re kinda on different wavelengths? Because he’s shown what kind of writer he is (with the way he’s answered questions in like, interviews and stuff, he kinda actually reminds me of that Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. “The most interesting writing is that which does not quite satisfy the reader. Try and leave a little thinking for him; that will be better for both […] A little guessing does him no harm, so I would assist him with no connections.” emphasis mine). For better or for worse, Horikoshi just does not care/think to dwell in the big moments/emotional beats he creates, and I think that throws most of us as readers off, LOL. Like… we want to be more in Deku’s head, we maybe wanna see more of the kids in their final years at UA, or starting out as Pros, or like, linger with Deku a bit more in a school day. But Hori doesn’t wanna give us that. And I think that’s where everyone is getting their wires crossed—we want one thing (or several lmao) and Hori… wants and does another, LOL.

(The middle part of that Emerson quote above says, “The trouble with most writers is, they spread too thin. The reader is as quick as they; has got there before, and is ready and waiting […] If you can see how the harness fits, he can. But make sure that you see it.” And to me that’s the problem, we as readers have jumped ahead of Hori and have landed at a place we expect him to arrive, and instead he zigs in the complete opposite direction LMAOOOO. whether or not it works issss. Up for debate lmaooo. Are we seeing where the harness would fit, where he’s seeing a collar? Some food for thought maybe.)

One opinion I’ve seen in the wake of these last few chapters is that Hori often gets his messaging confuddled; I’m not sure if I agree or not. I think it’s another case of harness vs. collar lmao, like maybe we as readers are taking away different conclusions to what he’s intended (he’s sticking to his message; we just don’t like how he’s telling it LMAO). But it is stark, when you lay it out. Anyone can be a hero—as long as they have pro hero friends funding an Iron Man suit for them lmaooo (anyone can be a hero, but they need a community of people willing to hold out a hand for them to get there). Society is fundamentally selfish and overlooks uncomfortable things, and that breeds resentment and hate (society is capable of change, it’s just a slow crawl to get there, and that maybe we can’t help everyone—but the point is that we should help the people right in front of us).

I guess the biggest example, though, is indeed the League; I’ve seen soooo many heartbroken people point out that Hori spent all that effort—an entire POV arc!—on showcasing the villains, and getting us to sympathise with them, and what-was-the-point-of-it-if-he-was-just-going-to-kill-most-of-them-off? But they were always doomed. Doomed by the narrative, doomed by their society. It’s what makes them a tragedy. The tragedy of their tragedy is that Hori’s preferences with his storytelling (or his weakspots, depending) doesn’t really stop to give people the catharsis of like, a big goodbye. 🥺

(This is off-topic, but every time time I see that phrase—doomed by the [whatever]—it makes me think of a quote from one of my favourite books, Picnic at Hanging Rock:

“Edith echoed, ‘Doomed? What’s that mean, Irma?’

‘Doomed to die, of course! Like the boy who “stood on the burning deck, whence all but he had fled, tra… la la…” I forget the rest of it.’”)

Hori’s ending really wants to leave us/let us believe that like, our Heroes have solved the biggest problems their predecessors faced, and now they’re like, a glorified search and rescue—but I think the fun of the ending is that it does leave room for new villains, new League-type deals, to pop up. 😈 People are good and bad. There’s always going to be someone who wants to lock a kid in a basement, lmao, the point is that someone will be there to help them out of it. And maybe it’s baby steps at the moment, but the takeaway I got from the story was less about fixing everything forever, and more like, putting systems in place so that you and others—heroes and civvies alike—can catch what you can, when you can. 🥺 Deku might miss League 2.0, but maybe Kota or Stitches at the end there won’t. Our Heroes have turned the tide. They’ve reminded people at large to do their best. 🥹 They’re actively teaching them to do their best.

Which is why it drives me bonkers when the fandom likes to like…. discount Class-A’s bond!!! At it’s worse though—throughout that awful gap where all we had were the leaks—I just had to keep telling myself that the, “Izuku was abandoned by his friends!” stuff was a product of this fandom being an average age of like, twelve. 💀 LOL. But also it’s just—idk! A result of shipping culture, maybe. The inability to understand that people can and do have meaningful relationships outside of people they have sex with. 💀 That it’s possible for a whole class of kids who went through a war together to care for each other and still be busy with saving the world, outside of school. 💀💀

I’m happy and sad it ended, too. 🥺 A lot of complaints I’ve seen are valid—and have made me realise that the thing that threw me, personally, was how passive an ending it is (like how things just happen to Izuku, aka him being given the suit as a surprise and not being apart of it). I’d like to reread the series, back to back, and see how it flows! Maybe when the anime comes along and fills in some of those gaps where Hori couldn’t/didn’t want to, it’ll feel more… apt. 🥹 And I hope that by the time the anime ends, Lili, you feel a little more fulfilled by it. 🥺🌷

[king-crawler]

Recently when I tried to figure out why Turbo went, well Turbo I realized something. At first I came to the conclusion that it was because of his code, but then I remembered the plot of the movie and completely scrapped it (though there might still be some merit with it). Then i thought that “hey, this fucker has been surrounded by picters of himself since he was plugged in, hes the star of the show, so of course he would get a huge ego out of it, said ego also being his subsequent down fall, but why diden't Felix also fall in the same trap? he was the hero of his game too”. And I think it's because he wasn't alone. Now I'm not gonna overshadow the twins. They're there too but considering how Turbo treated them in the little screen time we got to see them together I doubt that they were on good terms, they might have been in the games early days but I digress.

Felix, unlike Turbo, had friends within his game, a small community to look out for him just as he does for them. They made him pies, dedicated parties to him, cherished him, but Turbo?. Who was gonna bake him pies? Who was gonna throw parties for him? Who was gonna cherish him? The Twins? FUCK no. And i think that's what tipped him over the edge, his ego made him push oway his friends and coworkers just to get a sliver of stardom. And when he had all the attention ripped oway from him by another racing game had to have been his last straw (you saw the face he pulled in the flashback. God, just imagine seeing one of your neighbors destroy their own career live, in broad daylight too, must have been horrifying). I love a good character that just dooms themselves to the narrative with their own actions (Turbo was a whore for the limelight).

Going a bit of topic here but “going Turbo” wouldn't work if it was any other main character in the movie, “going Ralph” just doesn't work. Could be because “Turbo” isn't really a name, it's a word, the name of his game, “Turbo Time”. So my proposal is that whenever there is an au where say, Calhoun game jumps (for whatever reason) they call it solo mission. “You're not going on a solo mission are you?” sounds more riveting, to me, and in character for Calhoun. Perhaps that was the last thing she said to her men before she left. For Vanellope id imagen something like “going on a sugar rush” and something about crashing. Because when the sugar rush ends you typically crash.

And that gave me another thought, how many “Turbos” are there out there? How many characters went outside their game or against their script on working hours. How many of these incidents were considered bugs or glitches (how many were turned into creepypastas). It feels like a huge liability risk and the only instances of us hearing about it is with Turbo, which I find strange. Is it like a silent rule? That no one is allowed to leave their game and that's it? That's a super thin line, like yeah you can argue that its there to keep them alive but who told them that? And the second movie doesn't help that, it's just, eurghhh, i don't like the second movieeeee… But it does give the homeless game characters a chance to find a potential new home. There's so much out there in the wilde wilde internet to explore and find new potential in, to not be tied to the arcade has to be a bit liberating for some :)

Sorry for the sudden rant, I just got a kick and could not not write this down.

DONT BE SORRY !! GO OFF!!!! THESE ARE REALLY COOL DISCUSSION POINTS

The whole turbo vs Felix thing really stuck out to me. Turbo Living in a game with only 2 other people who hate him ? While Felix gets praise and attention from dozens? No wonder Turbo went haywire 👀 like do you think he envied Felix ………

[sometimesibewriting]

Where Are You Going?

✨Summary: Uryu leaves you with only the rain to console you.

💙Ello, another angst piece, to no one's surprise. Idk if I said this but I had an idea for a chaptered Uryu x OC fanfic set in the Bleach Cannon world. But I was too lazy to write a 3 series fanfic. So I just have like random scenes in my head that won't leave, so here I am just writing them to get them out of my head. I hope y'all enjoy, I definitely want to write stuff outside of angst. Will get working on that soon. :D

❌No warnings❌

💕SFW

📃Wordcount: 945

Uryu saw it coming. If it was true that the quincy were still alive and planning something they would come to recruit him. So he wasn't surprised when someone appeared to him the day Ichigo left and proposed that he join his people in crushing the soul society. He told the blonde man before him to give him a few days to think, the blonde man responded, by saying there was no time to think. But Uryu knew his people well they wouldn't just rush in, they would take their time. By how hasty the blonde man who told him to call Haschwalt was Uryu could tell the observing part of their grand scheme had finished and they were ready to move. Uryu told him that he knew he had time.  Haschwalt closed his eyes whether that was from annoyance or from thinking he would never know. He sighed then left telling Uryu he'd be back soon.

A light flashed, followed by spiritual pressure waking Uryu up it was familiar to him. He looked down at his chest, the girl lying on it not stirring. Uryu did his best to slip out from under her replacing his chest with a pillow, he pulled a blanket up and over her. Before going outside he placed a piece of paper with a written but vague apology on the coffee table. 

He paused looking down at her, she was going to hate him if he did this, could he live with that? No, he would have to live with that. There was no other way for this plan to work he ran his hand through his hair, this was the only option. He pushed up his glasses leaning over to place a kiss on her forehead. 

Uryu went outside to meet Haschwalt it started raining in the evening, and now that it was night the rain was even harsher, how fitting Uryu thought. "Have you made up your mind?" Haschwalt asked as he stepped in front of him. "I have," Uryu said firmly. "Your answer?" Haschwalt eyed. "I decided to take you up on your offer." He gave Uryu a look that read as shock. "What made you come to this conclusion?"

Uryu assumed Haschwalt was going to ask him that. After all, he did talk to Uryu like he was suspicious of his actions. "While I do have friends here, I am of quincy blood, I should profile my duty as one. After all the Soul Society is the reason why I'm the only quincy left." Haschwalt looked down at him his face unchanging. "Well then you have made your decision follow me."

They took one step before hearing the back door slide open, Uryu’s heart dropped at the familiar sound. "Ishida." A fimilar voice called if Haschwalt wasn't there he definitely would have cussed. He turned towards the voice. "Yes." He answered. "What are you doing-" She stopped mid-sentence when she saw Haschwalt, she looked at the blonde trying to get a read on him. "Who's this?"

"I see you still have some loose ends to tie up." Haschwalt looked irritated.

"She's not a loose end." Uryu shot back, Haschwalt's face stayed stagnant. Uryu then walked up to the door standing in front of her soaking wet. She pulled the quilt he had put on her closer to her body as the wind blew. She looked at Haschwalt and then back at Uryu. "He's a quincy isn't he? The spiritual pressure is similar to yours."

Uryu didn't answer instead he hugged her, quilt falling around onto the wet ground. He rested his chin on her shoulder his arms wrapping around her, pushing them closer together. She stood there confused as he wasn't usually an emotional or physical person. It was weird to say his warmth felt warm.

"You know I would never hurt you?" His voice was cold yet sincere. "Right?"

"Uryu..." She repeated.

He put his head on hers. "I need you… I need you to remember that I would never do anything to hurt you."

"Uryu. What are you about to do?" She asked although she felt like she had an idea. "Something I have to do." He answered back. Uryu hugged her once more then went to join Haschwalt at his side, she screamed for him while running towards him. Uryu closed his eyes wishing this was all a bad dream.

Just as she reached them, Uryu along with Haschwalt was engulfed in what appeared to be a black mass. The last thing she heard was Uryu saying; "I'm sorry." They disappeared and she fell as there was nothing to catch her, the rain falling harder or atleast felt like it was. She clenched the ground dirtying her fingers tears filling her eyes as she tried to figure out what just happened. A quincy came for Uryu.

There were other quinces besides him. Her one fear had come true. She knew if the Quinces were alive during everything that was happening it would not end well for Uryu. She knew if he had to choose between his people and his friends he would choose the people. If in the same position, she would also choose her people. It would be shellfish of her to think he would choose her, Ichigo, Chad, and Orihime over the Quinces. Yet that didn’t stop the hurt she felt as he left with no explanation the only thing he said being a simple sorry. As if the weight of what just happened hit her she plopped to the ground, curling up into a ball, crying. Her tears mixing with the rain on her face.

Will he be back?

[sigyn-foxyposts]

My personal thoughts on "Twilight of the gods season 1"

Before reading I just want to say that these are my opinions alone! By no means am I saying this show can't be your thing, it just wasn't mine when it came to certain parts! Also what I'll be covering can be a bit of a sensitive topic to some. Such as race and sexual topics, I'm here to defend not hate 💚

Art by my darling @sparrowmp4 💚

Pros:

Starting off with the best is the animation and art style! It's smooth and full of movement, absolutely breathtaking! It will truly keep you watching, just to enjoy it. Character design's are pretty good too, though some could've been done better and were in general a bit bland.

It felt boring In a way when you could've done more but I understand it would be hard on the animators. The scenery they chose fits the with the setting of the story they're trying to tell. In all honestly done very well, excellent!

I really appreciate the references to actual mythology and my culture! There wasn't much culture other than how things looked in certain villages but things such as the retellings of the stories we got from written and oral traditions, it made me very happy seeing them here!

I also heavily appreciate the inclusion of Loki's struggles amongst the gods, with himself struggling being "a scapegoat god" and the focus on him trying to save his children from their fate. As well as the portrail on how not even gods are perfect!

They clearly did their research on Loki's character and knew what the fans wanted! I just wish we got even more, but it was rushed and in conclusion a bit shallow. Still, the effort is there & i eat what I get!

I love the representation of minorities in the series. Such as people of color and their different or even mixed heritages! Same goes for different identities and sexualities. They weren't afraid to shy away from bisexuality and transgender representation, which was very common back then and throughout history!

I did enjoy certain characters like the Seid Kona, Egil, Leif and Loki's development throughout the story and how they were written! But again was all bit rushed..

Cons:

They missed out on showing us a lot more gods and how Ragnarok actually went down, even if most of us know by now..where was fumbulvinter for example? And I don't like when people take certain mythology media as fact, it's the biggest issue I have when it comes to modern media taking on mythology and folklore in general.

Do it right, if not then let it be!

While I love the representation we got of POC people, the way it's ONLY set in a norse setting bothers me. Yes, the story is centerd around the norse but like..we could have had more representation of other cultures too just saying! They were traveling so much, even a reference would've been nice.

No what we get instead, which yeah can work since the vanir are magic and nature based is plant people (I get the thought behind it!) They make the representation we want plant people. Where only two vanir members that look human.. are people of color. What was the point of all that seriously!

Where are the other people of color..?

Now don't get me wrong, Tyra makes sense in this case because we don't know where she came from and that leaves thing for interpretation, I absolutely love that! What's very icky was that Freyja who is presented as a black woman here, is Tiwaz's sister (Basically Freyr idk why his name is a rune now..) and called herself a slave when talking about how Odin married her for her magic... Yikes!

I didn't appreciate how Fafnir was slain either and the fact Sigird killed Baldr when Hodr could've been included so easily in the battle. I honestly think Freyr, Hodr, Hoenir and many more deserve justice, especially those who were completely forgotten like Idunn, Nanna, Forseti, Thrud ect.

Oh and dont get me started on Angrboda and Sigyn here, I'm just happy Boda even got an appearance in the first place, but that isn't enough to be honest! Like all she did was be the poor mother who couldn't protect her children, nothing more to her character even though she's from the ironwoods that we saw in this series.. where was she after those events?! Most likely dead, which would add up. Let's hope Sigyn gets a better appearance!

I don't mind original characters but..when it comes to the point in retellings, do it in a way that makes sense please!! Make the original characters for example meet Sigurd, Fafnir's slayer instead of killing him off! What would their interaction be like? While I understand the main plot and focus was on Sigird taking her revenge on Thor.

It felt a bit boring.. Like yeah, girlboss with a tragic backstory and she can't cry. It feels a bit Mary Sue of her, not only that but they're a bit over powered too!

Here comes another part I've been dreading..the "interesting" interpretation of Jormi and Thor's fate to kill each other at Ragnarok. It felt very forced and weird making them have a sexual relationship, like sure it's a creative twist I guess but..the way the prophecy claimed that Ragnarok would end the gods if Jörmungandr would spill Thor's seed. That's not at all the case and just disgusting!

What hurts me the most about this topic is Loki's attempts to take her place, but how the prophecy wasn't meant for him. Killing Thor was the only way to free their family, so even if it meant death, she did what had to be done. Worse, she was only a child when Thor physically beat her when she tried defending her family..i didn't need that!

This plot felt more like an excuse to add in more sex to a show with too many of those scenes already! Than giving the representation that matters, people forced to do these things just to help their family.

I'll admit Thor's portrayal was somewhat accurate, it just wasn't done the way I had expected it! (Take that as you will)

Yes he has flaws and the gods aren't perfect! Yes, he is a brute who murdered many jotuns and drinks lots of mead with an appetite. Yes, he has anger issues.. And yes he cheated on Sif. That doesn't mean he has to abuse his own kid or have his marriage with Sif go that low. What's worse is when you realize Sif knows he is activity cheating and letting herself be insulted by Thor. When she literally wants Thor dead, she admits she also needs him for the sake of her purpose.

Now, toxic relationships are real and this is a great example but keep in mind that in actual mythology he was willing to break every bone in Loki's body for him simplely cutting off her hair! And he has a tendency to be over protective of his family like in the story where Alvis purposes to Thrud, his daughter! His characterization is certainly something and I hope we get more because when he started crying over his issues and actions.

It screamed, toxic masculinity in my face.

I don't know what was happening behind the scenes but the relationships were developing a bit fast and while I don't mind starting a story on a relationship, the way things were going between Leif and Sigird didn't make me feel much for them in the end. Yeah it's not easy to be a perfectly functioning couple after you lost your whole family because you two were getting married. But when he comforts you, saying you're allowed to grieve and follows you on your revenge trip even though he didn't want to but did it for you!

Also I love my poly rep but making Thyra be a part of their already dysfunctional relationship was a bad move. Thanks for the fake hope you gave Leif actually living a better life with just her. It was so obvious she was into women from the start..why??

I had to sympathize with Leif even more when Sigrid physically hurt him, all because he opened up about what he felt and was done with her crap. Sadly that sympathy went away the moment he decided to waste everything on a woman that cared more about revenge then him.

Finally last point, I very much dislike how characters we were supposed to bond with get killed off so suddenly? Not only weren't they fully developed like Ulfr and Anvari but they had to die for what? Do they come back for the plot later on because I'd certainly hope so!

I don't know if they'll make up for all of these plot lines but since it landed on a cliff hanger, it's definitely coming back. Let's cross our fingers for season 2 to be better and clear things up!! Thank you for reading 💚🤞

[sneakydraws]

i wanna see fifty five goldfinch pieces 💔💔

OKAY!! So I have this little series I like to call the great decompartmentalisation of Theo decker... Let me walk you through it. I promise there's art after the massive paragraph of meandering analysis alright

You know how Theo's life is segmented into these distinct episodes? And how he himself is split into multiple different identities, and how much shame and fear there is associated with the idea of those identities mixing? For example: the straight a student living a completely, delusionally idyllic life with his adoring mother and the vanilla teenage troublemaker breaking into people's summer homes with his shady homoerotic bestie. When the two identities come into contact via his suspension, it leads to the most traumatic event in Theo's life, and honestly I suspect that might be the origin of this tendency towards compartmentalisation... I could go through the whole book here but the most prominent examples are Theo panicking at the thought of Mrs Barbour or his therapist finding out about Hobie, his cutting himself off from New York when in Vegas with his other shady homoerotic bestie (the amount of times Vegas is compared to an alien planet...) and his dual post timeskip identifies of charming antiques salesman/fraudulent art stealing junkie. And this often manifests in Theo's reluctance to let people from his different periods interact - see him rushing to stop Boris from talking to Pippa, and him keeping Hobie in the dark about the blackmail, and isn't it kind of weird that the barbours - Theo's soon to be legal family - don't really interact with Hobie and Pippa? Anyway. Basically I thought it would be cool to make a series of little vignettes of theo allowing the people and places and things that represent various versions of Him to interact and thus symbolically healing the disconnected parts of himself... Or something. I have more ideas scribbled down but somehow the only ones I ended up with proper art for is the various holidays (which, holidays are also a weirdly prevalent theme in tgf? Idk whats up with that but it's a good tool for this purpose) so we have:

Christmas Eve at Boris's, featuring Pippa and Hobie - I feel kinda bad for only ever portraying Boris with polish customs but let's be real I'm just using him to show off my own heritage lol. In Poland the main Xmas celebrations happen on Xmas Eve, traditionally with the appearance of the first star in the sky. You eat the mostly inoffensive barszcz as well some truly vile shit, such as mushroom and cabbage dumplings, mushroom and cabbage salad, other items made of mushrooms and cabbage, and finally the most disgusting dish of my life: Jewish style carp. No, it's not quite the same thing as gefiltefish, although that's the Wikipedia page you might use to get to the actual dish. All washed down with compote which I hate. You also break and eat communion wafers while wishing each other stuff, which Pippa is doing with popchyk here hehe

Christmas breakfast as a little bonus despite it not having much of a tradition - I associate it with lots of hams/cured meats, gherkins and maybe Tatar sauce (yum). Much superior to the Xmas dinner imho. Really I just wanted Theo and Boris to have a moment to themselves haha

Christmas proper at the barbours, featuring Boris and Tom cable! I could talk about all the tension and who's diffusing it but honestly I think y'all can draw your own conclusions lol. I just think it would be really funny for the infamous dis-engaged couple to each bring their delinquent boytoys and for Boris the drug dealer to actually come out looking superior

Vegetarian friendly Thanksgiving at Hobie's, as tradition requires! I think he'd love to throw one of his big Thanksgiving parties purely for all of Theo's families to get to know each other... you know, kind of an elaboration on that Thanksgiving illustration I drew a while back! This would be before all the Christmases I think. Boris is winning Mrs Barbour over with his roguish charm lol I think old ladies would like him... Theo in the corner freaking the hell out as per this project's mission statement lmao

And on a slightly different note I wanted Theo Pippa and Hobie to all visit weltys grave. I'm borrowing slightly from the polish tradition of all saint's day, when you clean, decorate and light candles on the graves of loved ones.

[fanfic-corner]

AO3 Wrapped

Happy New Year everyone!! Although 2023 has been hard, it's nice to look back on everything we've achieved over the year before starting 2024. So here are all the fics I wrote this year!

Grishaverse

things we don't say (14k)

Inej's phone has been silent for two months.

OR

Inej and Kaz have broken up. Jan Van Eck has locked Wylan in the house and pulled him out of the university, preventing him from marrying Jesper.

There's only one logical solution to the two conundrums: a heist.

I love this series and this felt like a wonderful conclusion to characters I adore.

meet-cute (3k)

meet-cute

noun

(in a film or television programme) an amusing or charming first encounter between two characters that leads to the development of a romantic relationship between them.

One meet-cute isn't enough for Jesper and Wylan. Here's the story of their first two.

Inspired by the series, I thought I'd write a little bit of wesper fluff, never realising I may never see them again :')

dream of better nights (1k)

Nina hasn't fought so hard and so long to let Matthias stay in Hellgate.

I couldn't leave them apart like that!

Fairytale of Ketterdam (2k)

Kaz has dreamed of seeing Inej again for two years.

He wasn't expecting to find out she's coming home from an idiot. An idiot who's kidnapped him. An idiot who wants to ruin the Feast of Saint Nikolai by destroying Kaz's family.

Luckily, Dirtyhands - for the first time in a long time - has backup.

A little Kaz-centric fic for the Grishaverse Secret Santa!

The Last of Us

hold me close to your heart (2k)

Joel convinces Ellie to come back to Jackson before they rush into a cure. And in the meantime, he's tasked with the very important job of finding her new nickname.

AO3 went down immediately after I finished TLOU and then this happened!

Safe as Houses (7k)

Making it back to Jackson doesn't promise Joel and Ellie safety. But it does offer them one thing the open road didn't: a home.

This was so much fun to write... Joel and Ellie are just Tony and Peter in a different font!

Marvel

the ripples they cause (111k)

There is exactly one person who remembers the name Peter Parker, and that’s Spider-Man. Although the spell prevented the multiverse from tearing itself apart, Peter’s problems are far from over. The number of people calling for his arrest grows every day, and it’s not easy to live your life when you no longer exist.

Luckily for him, the apartment above him belongs to two really good lawyers, and they know every vigilante in the city. With their help — and the assistance of two Avengers intent on rising from the dead — Peter may just be able to find his way in this strange new world.

I started this in 2022, but finishing it in May this year was one of my proudest achievements. To write a novel-length fanfic and finish the ending I wish No Way Home had meant a lot, so thank you to all the wonderful people who commented and egged me on!

what it means to be a person (currently 28k)

Nearly a year after the spell that erased Peter Parker, he finds himself chained to his old mentor. Literally.

Tony Stark has been running from his memories of Thanos for two years, burying himself in work and spending time with the family he nearly lost. But when a cunning new villain kidnaps Spider-Man to get to him, they’ll have to work together to escape with their lives.

But Spider-Man is just a kid. A kid who seems to have the answers to every hole in Tony’s memory. And he’ll do anything to protect the one person who might finally let him rest.

I just love making everyone cry. Both at my update schedule and emotions.

According to AO3, I wrote a whopping 173,000 words this year! Here's to even more fanfic next year 🎉

[no-gram]

VOICE DRAMA　ドグラ・マグラ

Ai: Hello, Kizuna. Kizuna:Ehehe~! Hello! Ai. Ai:Don't call me Ai all of a sudden. Kizuna:You're so pushy. But it's okay, I get it. Ai:Okay, I'm going to start the interrogation. First of all, please introduce yourself. Kizuna:Hi, I'm Kizuna! I'm Kizuna! My hobby is reading. Ai: Thank you. Thanks… Kizuna:……… What is it? You're making a funny face! Ai:You should watch your language. But it would be quicker to ask you. At least Tsuguha and Jun were given some information by the jailer. But nothing about you. Kizuna:So? Ai: I don't know why. Then we have to find out from you. You are 16 years old, born on August 19. Your height is 157 cm. Is that correct? Kizuna:I don't know. I don't know either! Ai:You don't know? Kizuna: Yeah. I really don't know. I'm sorry, okay?

Ai: Just out of curiosity, do you have amnesia or something? Kizuna: You're missing the point! I mean, I don't see the point in asking that! It doesn't matter to me how old I am! Ai: Age is an important source of information. But it doesn't sound like you are lying with bad intentions. Kizuna: I don't know. I didn't do anything wrong! I can assure you of that! Ai: Are you trying to say that you are falsely imprisoned? Kizuna: I think you're partially right. It's not right to incarcerate someone who hasn't done anything wrong, is it? Ai: I don't understand what you're trying to say… Kizuna: Do you want to know what I'm going to give you for your birthday next year? I wouldn't want to know, spoilers are so boring, aren't they? Ai:…… don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. One way or another, I'll look at your act record. Kizuna: You're right. I thought it would be quicker for you to see it with your own eyes than for me to say anything else. That's all. Interrogation may be pointless now, right? Ai: If it's pointless, I'll just take the information as it comes. So, how's life here? Kizuna: It's pretty interesting. Almost no one cares about me, though.

Ai: Who are the prisoners you get along with? Kizuna:Hmmm, Itoho? Ai: Wow, that's surprising. Kizuna:I don't know if we are close. It's more like old friendships. Ai: You mean you knew each other before you came here? Kizuna: Well…I guess you could say that. Why don't you ask Itoho when it's her turn? Ai: I can't follow any of the answers, they all sound so fluffy… Kizuna: I'm not asking you to follow me. Come on, let's feel it more with every cell in our body. Your brain is a fake.

Ai: In the meantime, if you're not causing any problems, fine. I need to know more about your background, but… Kizuna:… Ai: You suddenly shut up…what's going on? Kizuna: I want to be friends with you, right? Hey, are you listening to me? Ai:? Kizuna: you, you…why don't you answer me? Have you forgotten me? Your precious me. Ai: H, hey, what's wrong? Kizuna: I'm sure the day will come when you will accept me. Ai: I have no idea what you are. Who are you? Kizuna: I heard that people who rush to a conclusion will be rejected. My experience! Ai: Back to normal…? Kizuna: I told you that interrogation is pointless, didn't I? Ai: What about it? Kizuna: I don't want to talk to you. It's not that I'm not interested in you. And the other kids, too. It's just that talking to you won't get you what you want from me. Ai: What I want? Kizuna:You don't know that either. Well then, let's see… you want to keep the peace in this prison, right? Ai:Yes. Kizuna:I'm the same way. We may do it differently, though.

Kizuna: Do you still have some time left? Ai: I guess so. Kizuna: Since you're so kind, I'll give you a little help. Don't think with your brain, you'll live a happier life. You've seen the other two, right? Ai: I don't think you should call other people's problems trivial. Kizuna: Really? For me, it hurts as if it were my own. That's why I think you should stop thinking about yourself. Ai, you are irresponsible to say that because it's someone else's problem, isn't it? Ai: Don't call me that.

Kizuna: This is an interrogation, so you listen to me carefully! Ai:tsk Kizuna: Ah! Tongue lashing! That's so rude. Corruption Admin! Ai:You're a real handful… Kizuna:Oh, yeah. Ai: now what… Kizuna:I told you that reading was my hobby. Ai:And? Kizuna:Can I get a book? I'd like to have a little time to kill…. People don't seem to talk to me. Ai: I might be able to give it to you as a supply. I haven't told the others yet. Kizuna: Really? Then I'll ask them! Ai: Hmmm. I was going to tell the others after the interrogation. Kizuna:Hmmm, this place is going to get even rougher! Ai: I think you should take this as a rare chance from the management to talk With the other prisoners. Kizuna:Really, which one of us is the one who can't talk? Well, I'm talking even if you don't tell me.

[bell tolling]

Ai: Looks like the interrogation is over. Heh. I couldn't tell you much. Kizuna: Well, I'm not going to talk, so don't get depressed if you don't have any information. It's only natural. Ai: You are a pro at making people uncomfortable. Kizuna: I don't want to talk to you right now, so it's only natural. Ai: ……. So, do you have any book requests you'd like to see? I'll submit it right away.

Kizuna: …… Dogra Magra!

[mdhwrites]

Jumbled Thoughts: Romantic Rivals With Spy x Family

"What do you mean you love him!? You may be best girl, the tsundere and the one who spends 90% of your screentime with him but I'm in love... With..." "You want to go get a drink as a consolation prize?" "Yes please." And then I'm going to poison her drink so he can be all mine!

A lot of good, long term romance works have what can easily be identified as the romantic rival, regardless of how actually effective those rivals are. A character essentially designed to be an obstacle between the main couple and true love. There's a lot of forms this can take and luckily, anime has given us two great examples recently with Spy x Family's Yuri and Nightfall... But first let's get a few things out of the way.

Despite my bit at the beginning, a romantic rival actually doesn't need to be a direct competitor. Quintessential Quintuplets' romantic rival is the 5 girls' father and it'd be real creepy if he was actually trying to bang him.

"SIS!"

We'll... We'll get to that. No, instead the point of a romantic rival is simply to be someone who has to lose if the main couple ends up getting together. Their happiness and desires are essentially impossible if the main couple's happiness is achieved. That's why they're a rival since there can only be one winner. The most direct way to do this is with someone else who loves one of the two MCs but it can take on a lot of forms.

Secondly: For them to be a rival, they do actually need and investment in the potential of the two MCs being together. The best rivals are likely going to relish in destroying what might have been just as much as they'll enjoy either capturing the one they love or dooming them to misery. For their role to function though, they can't be unaware of what they're doing. Otherwise, they fall more into cruel twists of fate or comedic interventions depending on the severity of the moment and the tone it's portrayed with. Like Joe from Big Time Rush moving for her work isn't because her agent is a romantic rival, whoever they are doesn't care about the romance going on, it's just business. One that tragically breaks up the head of the band and her.

We did get one hell of a song out of it though. (Yes, I loved this show as a teenager and still think their music slaps incredibly hard. Also, I'm linking this video because it portrays more what happened but I do think the 2020 acoustic version done during lockdown is better.)

Another thing necessary for the character to be a rival though is that they are inherently a bad option. While one could call all the girls in your typical harem romance rivals to each other, it's better to call them contestants. They all have a real, viable case for taking that spot of best girl/boy, both in the hearts of our MC and of the audience. You are supposed to be okay with any of them getting with the main character. They are simply a competing ensemble.

A romantic rival is a villain. Even when not explicitly portrayed as one, you're supposed to want them to lose. They VERY rarely are real people besides maybe a sob story but that's not really the point of them. Romantic rivals are meant to elevate something into soap opera levels of drama, not for a nuanced discussion of love. A way to heighten the stakes and force the cutesy, potentially eternal lovey dovey elements of a work into what will be an even more satisfying conclusion.

Or for some EXTREMELY funny jokes. Speaking of, let's get into Spy x Family.

Nightfall versus Yor.

Yuri versus Loid.

Or, er... Well, see, why these two are so useful is that we actually have an incredible romantic rival and one that mostly entirely falls flat on his face in the role and is arguably the worst element of the show to me. As such, let's start with him: Yuri. Yor's baby brother.

He is a member of the secret police, the best at what he does despite such a young age and has a sister complex. Like... 80% of his character is sister complex. 19% more of that is screaming about his sister and then 1% of him makes you remember "RIGHT! This guy actually claims to be a functional human being!" Yuri's inability to actually function as a person is one of his biggest flaws because that single minded obsession makes it hard for him to really have more than a handful of jokes, all of which just increasingly become more stale (at least for me) as the show went on. That's a real shame too because as a rival to Loid, he's actually about as good as you could ask for.

See, while I have problems with Yuri, his failure in this role actually has a lot more to do with Loid than himself. A rival is meant to push the couple out of their comfort zone, potentially make them fuck up and do something that will upset the other, or challenge some aspect of a person's love for their partner. Loid... Doesn't have any of these traits. His whole gimmick is being the man with a thousand faces. To have so many layers, you'll have cried an ocean by the time you get to the core of this onion. That also means he has no comfort zone to push him out of, only fuck ups because of himself and...

Well actually, this is the one way I think Yuri does screw up as a potential rival to Loid. He makes big declarations about whether or not Yor and Loid's love is real but his love isn't real either. He doesn't actually know his sister. He doesn't engage with her genuinely, just like Loid doesn't. He has this nostalgic, permanent image that would take literally seeing his sister kill a loyal citizen to the country in order to even crack. That's not actually more genuine than Loid using her like he does. The only difference is that one will never ask Yor of anything and want to stay by her side while the other will only stay until the job is done. It'd be much more effective, in this role, for Yuri to genuinely know his sister and be able to call things out because of the genuine care versus Loid's artificial care.

Otherwise, what Yuri really does is be a reminder of the world these characters exist in. Someone who genuinely can NEVER find out the secret between the main couple, that they're not married nor actually in love, or else Loid is a dead man and Operation Strix is over. That's because Loid is an enemy of the state so while Yuri would lock him up for the wrong reasons, he is still one of the few people who could actually cause trouble if only he knew the truth. Too bad Yuri has been a spy for like an entire decade less than Loid and so Loid can run circles around him also making this tension somewhat tenuous at best.

He is only a threat in essentially the same way anyone is. In that he cannot know the secret. That is the exact opposite of Nightfall, Yor's rival.

Nightfall is a fellow spy from Loid's agency. She actually was a pupil of Loid's and mistook being told you can't have emotions on a mission to mean she must deaden all emotions. She is also a super spy on a similar level to Loid, making her the idea working partner for him.

But that lack of emotions is also why she can never be Loid's romantic partner. Yor is a bundle of energy and a precious cinnamon roll who wears her heart on her sleeve and couldn't help but be earnest even if she tried not to be. She is exactly the sort of warm, open person that Loid needs to ever make him consider retirement. To peel back the layers so that he can one day be himself instead of one of the many faces that he has. She will only ever love Loid... Not Loid's job or codename: Twilight.

Immediately we have the reason why these two contrast and why you will never root for Nightfall. Nightfall loves Twilight. Loves the image and ideal of Loid as this unstoppable super spy who she could essentially conquer the world with. Who she could help alleviate the woes of before they both get back to work. She'd be devoted but to all the wrong needs of Twilight. We even know she has the skills with which to do it, something Yor very clearly lacks as putting her in the kitchen is a surefire way to attempt mass genocide.

Not to say Yor is incapable of challenging Nightfall in a more practical way like how Loid entirely destroys Yuri. Yor is still superhuman in her physical capabilities which is why despite how clumsy and dumb she can be, she's still a very capable assassin. It's just that being an assassin is essentially all she's good at, besides empathy that is. Yor's care runs deep, just like how deep the tennis ball she sent into God only knows where is or the ball she played with Anya with when she did her own signature shot. Since Nightfall can't convince Loid to drop Yor due to her wifely duties, she does only have this and one other tactic to use against Yor and here she fails ENTIRELY.

The other one she's a lot better at. See, in her eyes, Yor is a bad wife. Yuri thinks the same about Loid but as a bad husband. Unfortunately for our cinnamon roll, she does not have Loid's confidence or the homely skills to back that up and so questions about her capabilities, especially with a smooth motherfucker like Twilight, shake her to her core. Luckily, she has the empathy and care that helps with Anya and makes her not just a good wife but what is even more important here: A good mom.

Here is where we get Yuri's last failing. See, a good romantic rival should be like any good villain. They oppose not only the couple but the whole premise and theme of the show. Yuri and Nightfall both do actually attack the themes to some extent by asking for stagnation and pulling the two back to their past where they will be trapped in the violence they have known all their lives. This is attacking the Spy part of the title. Only one of them actually says anything about the Family part of it though.

The most disappointing moment of the entire series for me was when Yuri finally interacted with Anya, Loid and Yor's adopted daughter, and hated her. Now, admittedly, his goal of arresting and killing Loid would pretty much certainly mean Anya's death too since she was adopted by Loid. Best case scenario for Anya if Yuri wins is going back to the orphanage but... That's the same case for if the operation that brought these three together fails in anyway. He adds nothing new with this that the base premise of this being a sham family doesn't already add.

Meanwhile, Nightfall knows from go about the operation and her opposition to Yor is specifically so that she can take the place of Loid's wife for the operation. This introduces two new elements that very, VERY few other characters can so directly. The first is that if Nightfall wins, it dooms Anya. Her desire to keep Loid as Twilight, rather than as himself, means that the warmth that Yor and Anya are forcing out of him will likely shrivel back up and die so that when the operation fails, Anya will go back to an orphanage and the family will end.

You also might have noticed that I said WHEN the operation fails, not if. While we haven't gotten it in the anime directly, we know a lot of Loid's methods for getting Anya to succeed fail and Anya at least likes Loid enough to try. Yor has made monumentally better strides in getting Anya to listen, be better and try harder than Loid ever has because, well... Anya is six. She doesn't need a cold, calculating spy, she needs parents and Yor's earnest and honesty makes her a great parent who is constantly trying to do the best for her child. From the brief glimpses we get of what Nightfall would try to employ as a parent, we have good reason to assume she'd fail just as hard as Loid has and so either Anya would run away, happy to be away from a family that no longer has Yor's warmth and has a slowly deadening Loid, or she'd be sent away once the stress and pain of that environment crushed her.

It is a unique threat that quite only someone from Loid's agency can present and it's a much more interesting reason to hate Nightfall and want to see her fail than Yuri just hating Anya regardless because he sees her as an extension of the sister stealer. It makes her a genuine villain that the regular populace can't replicate. It also allows her more dynamism as she'll do whatever she has to to gain the place of Loid's wife, even act kind to Anya, until finally she no longer needs to. She's a spy after all and this is her mission.

There's one other element here though I want to give a shout out for that is actually easy to overlook for romantic rivals: I want Yor, Twilight and Nightfall to be in a polycule. For Loid and Nightfall to finally have a real conversation and fix the lesson that has poisoned Nightfall so thoroughly. For Yor's kindness to help Nightfall see herself as a real person and not a slave to her image of Twilight. Hell, I even do want to see Nightfall be able to help shore up Yor's skill weaknesses and give Loid someone who can 100% understand his worldview, even as they both fight against keeping up those barriers. Nightfall is mostly a joke, mostly played for comedy but her genuine care for Loid, and how much it devastates her to fail, makes her into a more complex, sympathetic villain who you don't want to see be splattered on the pavement.

I... Well, I won't say Yuri is such a bad character that I want him literally dead but if he got shipped over to this world's version of America for the rest of his life, I would not miss his presence. He is a creep, a man child and quite frankly the best ending for him is probably to literally never be able to see his sister again so as to grow up as a person. Even that implies I even care enough to want to see him grow though as two seasons in, I don't really care. He has ONE truly great sequence that shows his potential and even it shows his critical flaw as a romantic rival: It has literally nothing to do with Loid or Yor. He is only an interesting character outside of the context of those two.

And for a narrative role who's whole job is to complicate and add excitement to the context of the main couple, that makes him a complete failure. So for as great as yuri is in most contexts, make sure you don't write the character Yuri if you're trying to make a good romantic rival. Not unless you wish for night to fall on your story and leave it in the dark.

======+++++======

It's kind of fun how much romance anime I've watched in the like past six months. It's still only three series, Kaguya, Quintessential Quintuplets, and Spy x Family (the last of which is SO many genres) but it did help me have some actual examples when I finally sat down and wrote this. Also, I'm currently poking at theoretically going back to my roots and writing a harem story, though also keeping it PG-13 like my current stylings so honestly, have any anime recommendations for me?

Also, this is probably another Jumbled Thoughts post that goes too much into the example, even if highlighting how Nightfall is a good contrast to Yor is so important to understanding what a good romantic rival looks like.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Empty House pt 2

Last time on Letters from Watson: a gambler was shot in a locked room, a detective rose from the dead and brandy once more proved itself the true panacea.

This time, we are eagerly awaiting the explanation for Holmes' miraculous reappearance.

"He drew no weapon, but he rushed at me and threw his long arms around me."

So romantic.

"We tottered together upon the brink of the fall."

Look... tottered is not an ominous word. It just isn't. It brings to mind small children, the elderly, and drunk people. 'Tottered' is an amusing word. It amuses me. Usually these descriptions are very visceral and dramatic and moving, but the word 'tottered' just throws me right out.

"I have some knowledge, however, of baritsu, or the Japanese system of wrestling, which has more than once been very useful to me."

Or maybe you're referring to bartitsu? Which is an 'actual' martial art. Or... at the very least the British approximation at one.

I always thought this was made up, honestly, until not very long ago when I learnt there was an actual thing made up for English gentlemen. the pictures are very silly.

"With my face over the brink I saw him fall for a long way. Then he struck a rock, bounded off, and splashed into the water.”

"So rapidly does the brain act that I believe I had thought this all out before Professor Moriarty had reached the bottom of the Reichenbach Fall."

I see being dead did nothing for your ego, Holmes. It has survived completely intact.

"I might, it is true, have reversed my boots, as I have done on similar occasions"

I want to know how this works. Feet are very much... feet shaped. Ankles are definitively at one end of the foot. Boots are designed with this in mind. How does one put on a pair of boots backwards. Walking backwards, I can see, but putting your shoes on so the toe is at the heel? Maybe if you're wearing ballet pumps or something like that with a very wide opening. But walking boots?

How?

"There I was stretched when you, my dear Watson, and all your following were investigating in the most sympathetic and inefficient manner the circumstances of my death. “At last, when you had all formed your inevitable and totally erroneous conclusions, you departed for the hotel and I was left alone."

Not even death can prevent Holmes from throwing shade at other investigators. 'inefficient'? "Erroneous" They're coming to the conclusions you arranged for them to come to.

"I took to my heels, did ten miles over the mountains in the darkness...,"

Don't try this at home, kids.

No really... do not attempt to make a ten mile trek over the alps in the dark. Just don't. Mountain rescue will not thank you.

"As to Mycroft, I had to confide in him in order to obtain the money which I needed."

You mean with your prodigious skills and intellect you couldn't work out any other way to make money. Like... get a job? Also, literally the first thing everyone knows about faking your own death is that you don't contact anyone from your old life. It's rule number one. Don't do it. This is basic stuff, Holmes. I expected better of you.

Always nice to get a Mycroft reference, though.

Florence, Tibet, Persia, Khartoum, Montpelier, Holmes really was out there doing the world tour on his family money while Watson thought he was dead. Classic. It's like canoe man all over again.

"I came over at once to London, called in my own person at Baker Street, threw Mrs. Hudson into violent hysterics, and found that Mycroft had preserved my rooms and my papers exactly as they had always been."

Let me get this straight.

You're in contact with your brother the whole time, who is sending you money

You do high profile things that are relevant to your previous interests (visiting the Dalai Lama/exploration under the name of Sigerson/short but interesting visit to the Khalifa of Khartoum that the foreign office needs to know about/scientific research in Montpelier)

The first thing you do when you're back in the country is go to your former residence with no disguise and reveal your not-dead status to your landlady (poor Mrs Hudson does not deserve this).

There is no way anyone other than Watson thinks you're dead at this point. You have literally checked every box of the 'How Not to Survive Witness Protection' checklist. Congratulations, Holmes. You are bad at being dead. Just casually putting up posters everywhere you go that say 'Sherlock Holmes woz ere'.

I don't know how he survived three years, smh.

Also, the fact that he had already thrown Mrs Hudson into 'violent hysterics' and then went and made Watson faint makes that whole thing worse. I get that it's at least in part misogyny, but did you really need to repeat that experiment, Holmes?

In some manner he had learned of my own sad bereavement, and his sympathy was shown in his manner rather than in his words.

RIP Mary Watson (nee Morstan), we hardly knew you. And honestly, neither did your husband.

I observed that as he stepped out he gave a most searching glance to right and left, and at every subsequent street corner he took the utmost pains to assure that he was not followed.

You literally went to Baker Street, Holmes. This is too little, too late. The horse has already bolted, stop locking the doors. I do know that this is all part of your master plan, but given that you were stupid about secrecy the entire time you were away, it's difficult to tell where you started laying a trap and when you were just being dumb.

As my eyes fell upon it I gave a gasp and a cry of amazement. The blind was down and a strong light was burning in the room. The shadow of a man who was seated in a chair within was thrown in hard, black outline upon the luminous screen of the window.

“The credit of the execution is due to Monsieur Oscar Meunier, of Grenoble, who spent some days in doing the moulding. It is a bust in wax.”

Sherlock Holmes here to remind you to always credit the original artist.

"You must remember that they knew, and only they knew, that I was still alive."

And yet they somehow did not keep track of Mycroft sending money overseas? I get that the Holmes boys are geniuses, but still. As previously mentioned, Holmes has not been subtle here. The bad guys are bad at their jobs. Shame on them. Shame on their cows.

"But I cared a great deal for the much more formidable person who was behind him, the bosom friend of Moriarty, the man who dropped the rocks over the cliff, the most cunning and dangerous criminal in London."

Who knew you were alive, but still somehow couldn't put together the myriad clues you were joyously dropping all over the planet for him. Full offence, but he's not that cunning.

"That is the man who is after me to-night, Watson, and that is the man who is quite unaware that we are after him.”

Anybody have a kernel of suspicion about who that might be?

[thyhonesteheorte]

growing pains in friendships~

personal rant about friends, friendships, romantic attraction, being sapphic, aromanticism, etc...

have't even thought of it before but god it's so easy with her!! haven't laughed as hard as i did today for a long long time. we just got so comfortable with each other so quick so easily. we clicked you know! third day of school she asked if she could sit next to me (it was one of the only available spaces in the class). soon discovered she liked the same books and has the same opinions and the same introverted awkward nature as me. but we're different too. she's an older sister, i'm an only child. she likes her books neat and unblemished, i really don't gaf. she lets me borrow her books and obviously i'm careful asf with them cuz they're not mine duh! we banter and tease each other and give each other hope & help in academics. we sympathize with our different parental dynamics and joke about the similarities to hide the anxiety and i think she'd be okay if she knew i was queer. tbh i think i just fall a little in love with every single person i become friends with or at least have a nice conversation with. it's mostly the girls tbh. no actually the rush of love always comes for the girls and the people who just aren't boys. not being a misandrist (just never been a girl who's been friends with boy, except that single one i can only compare to and draw my conclusions from), idk if it's shared sisterhood or plain awe but it's always fucking confusing that's what. one sided homo-erotica you could say? or maybe it's just amatonormativity combining with my media-induced obsession with romance? there's always this thing in the back of my mind that i might just be aromantic (not demi as how i currently label it, maybe gray?). oops i spiraled, i meant to just talk about this one particular friend from my school. it's not a real romantic crush or anything but once i get it in my mind i can't seem to let it go easily, it's already happened with a few people recently. how do you even differentiate between romantic & platonic attraction?? aren't the most beautiful "romances" between best friends actually (reminds me of how i should call my best friend. actually we don't really call each other that, we're each other's closest friends tho.. i think so? we don't go to the same school or study together or talk everyday, not anymore, but i really think so.. i mean she said it herself on the phone the day before my birthday). growing pains, particularly in relationships - new & old - are really fucking complex & confusing aren't they? isn't the height of intimacy in laughter and honest shared conversations? or is that just my youth & naivety speaking? i act like i know it all but i know absolutely nothing. i act so mature except i'm just another barely sixteen year old who wants to be unique and wants to feel the soul-shattering love that everyone else does. idk.. i love them all. i love you just a little a. i definitely love you n. and i think i'm falling in love with you too r. i just don't know what the fuck to label it as, feels like you've all got it figured out and i just can't tell the difference between it all.

[snow-and-saltea]

finished like 153 chapters in one night. i love these kinds of executions for yandere characters so much. i love it when a story takes mental illness and psychological brokenness seriously and still be able to create a beautiful interpretation without fetishizing that appeals to the very raw and basic nature of wanting to be loved so badly that fractures a person. i love stories like this that show us the worst of a person but doesn't rush to ease them again. i love stories that show the darkest pits of the human psyche and makes you go, "this is happening but it isn't the end. wait just a bit, and ill show you how things get better." i LOVE when stories do that; get all meta and create a story within the story that the actors/characters have to now see their way through and reach the scripted happy ending that feels impossible and illogical to reach as a conclusion, but happened anyways. stories that are seemingly taken out of the author's hands and into the characters instead and them being like "i know you believe this happy ending to be false, because you can't believe it'll be achievable through anything but delusion. but just wait, i'll show you." (thinking particularly about the princess iron fan arc in act age bc that still makes me tear up)

the depiction of ptsd and mental illness was something i was particularly touched by, too. the "problematic" aspects, ugly aspects, of mental illness were addressed so kindly and compassionately, and the solution never felt like it was straight up telling you "you're messed up. this isn't right, you're not normal". this is something i would've expected reading a story with a yandere character, because for most people the appeal of a yandere is to be attracted to someone who is Fucked up but hot. but like. even rebuttals like "no that's not normal! that scares me!" were handled so casually -- almost to the point you could call it carelessly, but it wasn't careless at all. it was a deliberate choice to not make a Huge deal about being turned off by someone's thoughts or preferences that made for a much more judgement-free and loving environment to agree or disagree with each other.

rindo is really the ideal wish fulfillment for mentally ill buddies like me along w kim kitsuragi sjjdjdjfkfkf. like i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, to see the twist that oh this guy is gonna be fucked up too! bc of the Genre! but no. he's kind, steadfast and humourous, and is so generous w his capacity to love people. he might be understood as a selfless martyr type with the way he keeps wanting to reassure amane even during really troubling events in the plot, but he was never traumatised by those events and he had a clear and sane mind the entire time. its so easy to think of him as a "victim" in an overbearing codependent relationship in the story, but he's just really emotionally resilient. he doesn't give up, he doesn't take hurtful words at face value because he knows something deeper is at play, he doesn't hesitate opening up first and being vulnerable or pushy if it helps amane feel less ugly being vulnerable with his thoughts and desires towards him.

this is a fictional story and not irl, so obviously like. irl, you wouldn't want to enmesh yourself so deeply with someone that you'll die if they do. but he was willing to do that. not necessarily that, but the same gesture -- "if i ever betray you, you can kill me, and then we'll both be the last thing we'll see". on paper, even just writing it, makes me sound insane and delusional. how could this be something someone sane could say? but he WAS sane, because he was also saying "you said you love me so much you want to die with me, so you must also mean that you love me so much you want to live with me forever. this means your heart wants to be with me, so stop deceiving yourself into thinking you'll be fine. know that my heart and yours are joined in the same way, because i want to see you at the end of my life too, and there's nothing wrong with that."

rindo has such a great talent for finding multiple meanings, often positive, to amane's thoughts. because his mind is often muddy and swamped with unpleasant words and memories when he spirals / ruminates , he can't stick his hand through it long enough to see what comes out when he pulls out of it. very natural, normal and human desires you form with someone you love: "i love you. i'm scared you'll leave me someday. i want to be with you forever. i don't know if i deserve to be this happy. i love you. i love you. i love you. i don't want to spend a day without you. i want you to be happy and i want to be involved in making you happy, but i feel so incompetent that i'm worried i'll fail too much. i love you. please love me back.”

the way the characters in this story is so kind genuinely ... makes me want to cry. like rindo's mom accidentally saying homophobic things at first out of surprise but then her Maternal instincts took over and she could have another son to shower with love. the way everyone looks out for them but doesn't judge their relationship or try to messily break them away from each other or intervene for their "own good". there's no unnecessary drama or misunderstanding that isn't solved within 1-2 chapters in a really clear, reassuring tone (while also maintaining a natural pace so as to be thoughtful to the writing).

man. i cried multiple times reading this story. i was just here for the yandere BL ride, not the unexpected feeling of love and validation for my mental health issues?!

[nukenai]

Something very weird happened on Sunday. Talk of animal death... as usual lately.

It was what felt like the first real day after losing Zero. The past 30 or so hours had been a complete nightmare. I was in bed just scrolling on my phone on facebook.

I saw a post in my local horse group about something. I saw posts about that kind of thing a lot, but this time I just sorta went. Huh.

Then my dad called to check on me again. He had called me a lot in that short time. We were chatting, he just wanted to know how I was hanging in there and if I could do anything.

Then he asked me what I was planning. If I knew if I was going to get another dog. He told me he knows Samoyeds aren't cheap, and even sheepishly said if I wanted to get another one, that he could help me out.

I'd been thinking about it for a while. The conclusion I came to was... well, of course I wanted to get another dog. I'd been preparing my house for a puppy since february. I have a house full of puppy supplies. But, I don't want another Samoyed right now. First of all the cost, which wasn't really something I discussed with the breeder because refunds are just not... usually a thing, you know, and it's a rough topic to bring up because she's very upset too (she spent 9 weeks with those puppies, literally raised them from birth... so yeah). But, I'm not prepared to spend that amount a second time right now. Maybe sometime in the future, maybe after Striker passes, I'll want a Samoyed again. But I think it would maybe cause a bit too much pain to have one so soon.

But not just another dog in general. People get very judgmental about grief... I understand that people want to say, "don't rush into anything" after something happens. But I feel like that makes more sense when you, say, lose an older dog to age or illness. Because maybe getting a brand new dog after spending so much time with your one dog would be very hard on your soul.

But I went through the loss of a puppy. Of course I was attached to Zero, and loved him with all my heart and soul for the just-under-a-week I had him. But it's different. I had spent so much time preparing, and now there's just this terrible void where all my efforts had been.

And, well. I do stupid things in my life. Sometimes things don't work out. But there's always a way to remedy the situation. Say I got a dog but it wound up making everything so much worse. I'd either contact that person I got him from, or find someone else to take him. Whatever. Life will work out. It is literally never the end of the world to like, get a dog when you're slightly underprepared. There would be another home for him.

The post I saw on facebook was for a corgi puppy. Corgis are not really dogs I actively considered. Of course they're cute as fuck, but I kept telling myself, "no more herding breeds" on principle from how difficult Striker has been. But the ad was for ONE corgi puppy. Just one. Not a whole litter.

I thought, at the very least, it couldn't possibly hurt just to reach out and see what's up. See how much he was, that sort of thing.

So I get on the phone with this woman. She sold a litter of puppies for friends of hers with purebred corgis who bred them. The price was... honestly, astonishing, and felt like a red flag, because she only wanted $425 for him. I asked her, politely, why. Her response was: "I'm doing what they told me to. They sell their dogs only as pets, and they think it's ridiculous to charge upwards of $2,000 for a dog that isn't going into a show ring. Doesn't matter if they have show lines, the majority of people just want a companion. So I'm doing what they say."

I found that... admirable, honestly. So I asked why just he was available.

He was supposed to be picked up that morning. A woman had claimed him a couple weeks ago, the whole litter had sold instantly. But that morning, the woman's horse suddenly colicked and died, out of nowhere. She was devastated and said she wanted to hold off on a puppy for now.

I was so shocked. What a weekend of horrible tragedies. I'm not really a superstitious person, but that just felt so odd that this one puppy would become available, and I would see the post right as I'm scrolling facebook, and it was because someone else tragically lost a beloved pet.

He wasn't that far away, a 45 minute drive. So I thought, well, it can't hurt to go see him.

I had told the woman what happened with Zero. She offered such condolences and assured me it was a freak accident. I told her I was worried about judgment if I got another dog. She told me, "You can't worry about other people. You have to do what's right for you."

We exchanged stories about animal tragedies. Her husband's horse dropped dead when they ran out to Tractor Supply for 20 minutes. A friend of hers accidentally kicked their new puppy who was hidden in a dark hallway, because she walked with a limp, and the dog was killed instantly.

Horrible, freak things happen. Sometimes it's our fault, sometimes not, but we didn't MEAN for them to happen. Maybe they could've been prevented. Maybe not. Literally all we can do is keep moving forward in our lives, the way that feels right. Sometimes the universe turns in cruel, awful ways. But it'll keep turning, so it's up to you whether you look backwards or forwards.

This woman also had had corgis, she told me only recently she had to put her old female down due to cancer. She sang their praises.

I know this post is 40,000 words long but. i've been through a lot you have to be fucking nice to me. The culmination of it all is that yeah, I took him home. If he had been much more expensive than that, I wouldn't have.

Sometimes weird shit happens. Maybe it's a "sign", maybe not. But I do know that I went from staring at an empty dog crate full of un-played with toys stuffed into the corner of my office, to watching those toys be played with again, and getting up in the morning to open the crate door to let a dog outside.

The little one doesn't have a name yet, and this is technically the fourth day I've had him. It's pretty hard, but I know I'll get there. There's no rush, he has no idea what's going on right now anyways. I do feel like I made the right decision for myself, and I don't need to listen to any judgment. No one has been anything but kind, loving, and sympathetic to me, so I have no reason to think I'd have people being nasty behind my back. I guess I'm just traumatized from the 2 times people were weird to me about having a horse!

Anyways. Check out this little man. Whatever his name will be...

[trashlie]

aw you flatter me 💕 thank u, the feeling is mutual!! you have such an in-depth understanding of the story, i want to know your thoughts on all kinds of things! and if our discussions are interesting to other people as well, that's even better! 🥰 i'm probably not gonna be able to keep up this streak because life... so i'm leaving you an extra long message teehee >:3 run with this all you want! ofc there's absolutely no rush for you to reply ~ and please be more careful with the stairs, i hope u feel better soon 🥺

ahh i'm so glad you can see my ceo kousuke vision!! ✨ and you bring up great concerns re: yui, his own issues, his own wishes etc… there's A LOT that needs to happen for him to develop that potential and to even have the opportunity to take on that role… and tbh that's why i can only picture ceo kousuke the way i described him only after yui is defeated. because right, it would be basically impossible to do as long as yui is in power, especially if he's already gonna be dealing with all his personal stuff.

ceo kousuke is to me a possible conclusion to his character arc. we might never even see him "in action" and it's more like, the ending will show us that this is what his goal is now. i mean if he's like "fuck this company i'm gonna be a shepherd in the himalayas" or smth i'd respect that too lmao. but wouldn't it be sooo satisfying to see yui come so close to achieving her ultimate goal? if kousuke became the ceo like she planned, but instead of being her puppet, he'd end up thinking for himself and actively undoing everything she built? and like you said, he might currently not be very happy in this career, but if he had a different incentive and motivation to be the ceo, who knows? he might even find a bigger purpose and fulfillment in that position. wouldn't it be somewhat noble (mayhaps even gentlemanly wink wink) to try and make up for what his family has done? related to this, i can't help but think of the comment rand made to shinae in ch 89: "i have more respect for an honest individual that challenges rules and conventions than the dishonest that mindlessly follow and remain in comfort". i was immediately like !!! kousuke should hear this. if kousuke, as the ceo, challenges the status quo of the company and his family instead of mindlessly following it, he'd be exactly the kind of person rand would want him to be, and so he would even win the approval he initially wanted ;; yes yes rand already loves him and kou doesn't have to "earn" anything etc etc but ykwim 😗 it would just be the cherry on top ✨ if rand is even still alive at that point oh god rand please don't die yet ;A;

until we get to that point though, i have a strong suspicion that kou will be pretty much "trapped" for most of s2; by yui, by having to deal with yui, and also by all his internal, personal struggles. tbh i can't imagine him being able to make any significant moves because even the tiniest sign that yui might actually lose her most valuable pawn will trigger her, and who knows what this woman is capable of when she gets desperate or cornered 😶 my guess is it'll probably be up to the black team and especially shinae and nol, both characters who will be more "free" and have more power, to take yui down and, as a result, make it easier for kousuke to finally free himself. and i realize it sounds a lil bit like saving the princess from the dragon that keeps her locked in a tower fgshdfjk (is *that* why some characters call kousuke a princess sometimes :O am i onto something here? 👀) but hey i don't mean kousuke won't be doing anything, he'll likely be going through a lot of character development (like you said not a 180 but just realizing a lot about himself and yui and his past, dealing with all that, figuring out his relationship with nol etc etc) which in itself is already defying yui, isn't it? so that when the opportunity arises he can join the black team. obviously this is all just speculation and i'm staying open to anything but idk it's so fun so think about the possibilities for the future plot ~

on a side note, from a story structure perspective, it'd be interesting if there was a reversal between the brothers in terms of who is "trapped" (by yui), and who can "move". similarly to how in s1, team white has the upper hand, and we can expect a power shift to team black. in s1, nol was basically trapped and powerless - in the sense that all his attempts to change his situation have been futile, so he's mostly been going through a character transformation/deconstruction and sparking actions in other characters. it'd be pretty clever if, in turn, s2 focused more on kou's character development (while he's "trapped") and nol is the one who will be more "active". cause right, like you said, we can assume that the exposé will give nol stronger goals and, by damaging or weakening yui at least temporally, more freedom and "power" to move. and similarly, shinae, who has been pretty powerless, will gain more "power" by spending time in the corporate world/near yui and learning her language, both of them will essentially power up for the final showdown. is this even making any sense. i'm getting soooo carried away like [insert pepe silvia meme] do i sound like a crazy person. u can be honest with me LMAO 😭

(and there's definitely a certain appeal to nol going for the ceo position, taking the company from the hiraharas for good, reforming it and breaking the cycles of abuse and corruption, or simply dissolving it… for yui it'd be the worst nightmare that's for sure 👍🏽 but idk, something about "the underdog coming out on top" in the most obvious way feels a bit cliché, doesn't it? :/ especially since it's been hinted at so many times. i guess we'll just see, it strongly depends on how everything is executed either way ~)

LOVEEE what you said re: yui and shinae!!! <3 for shin, what i expect we're gonna see realistically is that even though she'll play yui's game (or pretends to), yui will never actually be able to "get her to the dark side" (not even with cookies. that was bad i'm so sorry) and i'm really looking forward to that because yui is used to getting everything she wants, but she can't have shinae, she can't corrupt her. shinae will continue to "shine light" no matter what. double-agent shin oh i really hope that's where the story is going WAH ! 💖 and future shinae looks so cool in the illustrations too, her energy is so different i'm so excited to meet this version of her!!!! 🤩

……….and fINE ok tbh the main reason ceo shinae came to my mind was that clip that was posted on patreon not too long ago (it's not up anymore unfortunately :<) where quim showed some prints, and two were of shinae/nol and shinae/kousuke on that armchair/throne and i couldn't help but be all 👀👀👀👀👀 the poses, body language, the clothing, the implications... i know it's bonus content and doesn't have to mean anything but we know with quim most things do mean something don't they?? and it just stood out to me that in the illustration with nol, shinae is dressed in a pantsuit (as opposed to her assistant outfit in the image with kou) and she's basically taking up the seat and he's positioned on the armrest behind her (no comment about neither shin or nol being able to sit on that chair normally but note taken), and sure it could be about their general dynamic and not anything business-related but my one lil stupid brain cell was still like "WAIT OHMYGOD WHAT IF!!!!!!!!!!" you've seen these illustrations bc i know they've been discussed before, you know what i'm talking about, right??

"Kousuke might end up at the same hospital as Nol to get checked out" ooh OOOOH that's possible!!! oh i swear this 3 day extention is planting all kinds of ideas in our heads bc it's pretty much the last opportunity to interact with nol before he goes to jail… who else might show up. rand? alyssa? minhyuk? YUI GOD FORBID?? 😭 (btw re: nol and kou - if the lovely artist ever shares the "get along shirt" drawing publicly, please give us the link if possible! <3)

AHHHH you hit me right in the feels talking about nol and shinae ;A; we're so on the same page when it comes to those two love that for us ! love that we can see the light 😌✨ no but, right. if they're not someone's cup of tea that's fine, but at least give this pairing and their dynamic and buildup and narrative purpose (role reversal; rand/nessa counterpart) the credit it deserves 😤 i can't help but feel like a lot of it has to do with how """problematic""" (more like flawed and messy) nol is, the boy has been quite controversial hasn't he (love that for him), and people tend to prefer the "cinnamon roll" male characters that make for "healthy" and "unproblematic" ships, because if a ship isn't perfectly smooth-sailing from the moment the characters fall for each other it's toxic right /s 🙄 or maybe it's about the immediate reward, because they think shinae x dieter would be easily digestible cute fluff sunshine romance forever (questionable given shinae's baggage but ok), whereas shinae x nol would have to "work" for it (for the lack of a better word)? but then again so much of ily has been about working on relationships, communicating and apologizing and adjusting to one another and making it work, and isn't that what (often) makes your relationship stronger? so why would a romance between nol and shinae be different? when has anything in ily ever gone smoothly?? LMAO give shinae and nol time they'll figure it out. a rocky start is actually a good thing because they'll learn early on where the problems are. and we've seen what they could be, what kind of potential they have, how much they care about each other! and yeah it'll take time to get there, but it'll be worth it!! sigh. anyways…

"There is now way we are moving into a time skip with Nol's walls all the way up!" SAME!!! i'm gonna riot LMAO jk actually it's kinda funny how we're currently on two cliffhangers: nana/shinae and yui/simhan (absolutely WILD character combination btw) so actually it'd be an opportunity to leave yui/simhan and jump back to shinae/nana :> but either way how exciting!!! btw how do you think the yui/simhan encounter will go? would either of them figure out who the other is, or would yui just immediately move on to find rand? i have such a bad gut feeling about simhan and it's horrible bc things were just starting to look up for him, now this? and the hint that he's gonna fall back into alcoholism or even die?? gosh please no ;;;

alright WOW that's really enough for now. looking forward to your thoughts, and talk to you soon, take care mwah 💗 - lil anon 😼

ah! sorry, i meant to say nol is flawed and troubled, not troubled and messy ~ and re: the entire ship paragraph... like i mentioned before i'm not much of a shipper, so if i'm misunderstanding something or jumping to wrong conclusions, please feel free to correct me <3 - lil anon 😼

Lil Anon! My precious, my beloved! You told me take your time and then I DID ;_______; LMAO I promise you I was up to good things, practicing a lot of drawing and feeling really proud of myself and really fixating on that - til 231 came and knocked me on my ASS and unhinged me and now I've just been swinging from the rafters for half a week AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

But this is a message I was really looking forward to, so I'm still going to answer it and maybe it will temporarily ground me and subdue my unhinged feral streak (we'll see.... LMAO) I always look forward to these asks and getting to expand on thoughts or really dig into things I've never had to give reason for LMAOOOOOO

I agree that it's sooooo fun to speculate and think about all the ways things could go! Like, obviously the idea of Kousuke doing something other than CEO is because so many people want to see him in a position he can LOVE that he can be passionate about. But I think CEO Kousuke as a conclusion, as a goal to actively work towards for himself really does have some poetic justice to it even before we account for how it would be something so very in Yui's face which makes it so much more delicious. Sometimes life isn't about getting to follow our dreams but figuring out how to make of our circumstances something we can love or be proud of. That seems to be the path we'll see Shinae on, right? Is the corporate world what she wants? Does she have the mind and heart for business? And worse, being there of someone else's volition, no agency in her choice. That's what makes that conversation with Rand so enticing. He's right; Yui won't give up and it's almost inevitable that Shinae will remain in Yui's grasp, but if she finds a way to work it to her advantage, to use the experience to learn how to play Yui's game, at least it gives her agency. Letting Yui believe she's trapped, letting her believe that she's got Shinae under her thumb, allows Shinae that agency. And thus, the idea of Kousuke making an active choice to be a CEO, for his own ambitions, for his own desires, and to dismantle what his mother did, to take a leaf out of Nol's book and put good in the world to make up for what Hirahara Corp has done/been behind? Oh I LOVE it. And I love what it would say of Kousuke, of the choices he's making and why he is!

But frankly if he chooses to be a sheep herder I'm helping him pack his bags because I am WORRIED. His future looks so bleak right now no matter how things play out - whether or not he finds out Yui has been drugging him and he's actually able to believe it (and not, yknow, try to hide from the truth which is a perfectly reasonable response to your reality being completely upheaved) or how he chooses to cope with it. That one image really speaks volumes - the poster with the image in the puddle below them. He looks so miserable and generally unwell in their future. But this really ties into your point re: from a story perspective. Beginning the story with Nol the miserable one and Kousuke walking "freely" only to swap their roles IS incredibly interesting! It's a lot like Nol and Shinae switching roles after the formal. Frankly, it's always fun to watch mirrors switch places and swap situations, but especially so with Nol and Kousuke because of the whole history with their relationship. But from both a story perspective and in general as a fan, I think watching that role reversal but seeing it play out differently is what will set that apart. Nol could easily, without any blowback, carry on and leave Kousuke struggling in his dust, if he so wanted. The idea, though, of them eventually playing on the same team, as allies, is SO MUCH BETTER to me than any revenge plot. I LOVE broken families I LOVE tragic brothers and I really want to see them have each others' backs at some point.

To go into this further (and honestly we have probably talked a lot about this already but... yknow lol) Nol has written Kousuke off right now - but Nol doesn't know the full story. Kousuke has been his abuser of his own volition, but Kousuke was weaponized against Nol. Long before he ever faced him, Nol was subconsciously drilled into Kousuke's mind as an enemy and lord knows what else Yui has actually said of him. Seeing events like the night Nol was taken away altered and re-shaped by Yui's "versions" during vulnerable moments ensured that Nol would always be this volatile, violent monster in Kousuke's mind, even when it has become abundantly clear to the people in his life that this version of Nol doesn't align with what they know of him. This is stuff we already know lmao my point is: there is a lot that Nol doesn't know about what shaped and fueled Kousuke's fears of him and jealousy towards him, but also what fed his paranoia, why he was unable to ever see Nol for who he really is, could never see truth in his offerings of brotherhood and could only see him as someone trying to take his place. Nol, like Hansuke, is convinced that Yui loves Kousuke, that he has greatly benefited from the maternal care (something that was taken from Nol far too soon). He doesn't see that her motivations have never been for Kousuke's benefit. So likewise, while he knows Yui is a monster to him, he's got no idea she's a monster to Kousuke, as well. In his head it's Yui and Kousuke, a team.

I think we will see in Nol what Kousuke could not do - extending the hand to someone who needs him, even if it's in his best interests to let him suffer. Something I always come back to is that at Nol's core, he does care. He held out hope that one day he could reach Kousuke, that Kousuke would reveal some shred of love he'd hidden away. He cares about people, even strangers who he knew could use his (friendship) help. I repeat myself all the time but anti-hero Nol who turns cold in his quest for revenge doesn't feel right to me, it doesn't suit him. I love the idea of him being able to see that Kousuke, too, was at the mercy of Yui and that while yes, everything he did to Nol was of his own doing, it was fostered by Yui. It just feeds right back into that delicious hope of how good it would be to see Kousuke do everything Yui never wanted - to form some kind of alliance with Nol, no longer isolated and controlled by her. Team up with the very man who has been an alleged threat to the Hirahara name/family/fortune(???) all this while. GOD I want it so badly!!!!!!!!!! But also I think it would read SO WELL because it's what Kousuke could not, at this point in the story, do. Where Nol reached out and Kousuke confessed his darkest secret his darkest desire and left Nol alone, I want Kousuke to be in need of Nol's help and companionship, and Nol pull him up.

IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING EMOTIONALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ;A;

IT'S THE BRIDGE FORMED BY SHINAE ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!! IT'S SHINAE SEEING A LIGHT AND GOODNESS IN PEOPLE EVEN IF IT'S OVERSHADOWED BY THE UGLIER, NASTIER PARTS OF THEM. IT'S SHINAE SEEING THIS IN SOMEONE AND SHINING THAT LIGHT FOR OTHERS TO SEE, TOO. FOR SOMEONE LIKE NOL WHO HAS SEEN IN KOUSUKE SOMEONE UNCHANGEABLE TO BE ABLE TO BE A FIGURE WHO COULD, PERHAPS, HELP KOUSUKE FIND THE COURAGE TO STAND UP TO WHAT SCARES HIM, TO GROW THAT SPINE? AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I just ;________; I have FEELINGS you know? HOWLS

But yeah, that's exactly it!!!! It's that unlearning everything he believed about Nol, everything he believed about Nol in relation to himself, defies Yui. It's that being the brother he failed to be defies Yui. It's that teaming up with him and putting his trust in him defies Yui and LIL ANON I WANT THAT SOOOOOOOO BADLYYYYYYYY ;_____;

But yes, Nol the active force, while Kousuke is the one in the character development stage feels SO good to me, I want it so badly lmaooooo it's gonna be SO GOOD I promise you you don't sound crazy but also I've been pretty high on this catnip banquet quimchee gave me so like... take everything I say with a grain of salt because I AM SO UNHINGED NOW

I know there are a lot of fans who DON'T want Shinae to take up Yui's offer because I think they do fear it means Shinae will be corrupted - that learning to play Yui's game means becoming Yui or something but yeah, like you, I think Shinae is the opponent Yui CANNOT convert. She's met countless girls and even guys who would do anything for the power and money they possess, who attached themselves to Kousuke in hopes it would rub off on them. Alyssa bends to her EVERY WHIM. Meg was so fun to play around with and harass her own son with. But Shinae has such strong convictions that I think she WILL be the worthy opponent, because she IS the light. I firmly believe in that, too. Shinae shines so that others can find their glow, too. She shines so that others can escape. She'll play the game, but on her own terms, in her own way, never stooping to become what Yui has. If anything, I think her convictions coupled with her experience will yield someone so much more powerful than she'd ever imagined, because while in the corporate world empathy can be a weakness, I fully believe Shinae will be able to wield hers to help and to detract from Yui. UGH ALFJKAFKJAJFKJKF /AUGH/ I get SO excited thinking about iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

ALSO

ALKFJALFAJFJKAFJKAF

/ALSO/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS

and i couldn't help but be all 👀👀👀👀👀 the poses, body language, the clothing, the implications... i know it's bonus content and doesn't have to mean anything but we know with quim most things do mean something don't they??

OF COURSE I KNWO EXACTLY WHAT IMAGES YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT OF COURSE I DO!!!!!!!! The 2021 Valentine's Doodles (do a search of valentine and they'll come right up) LKJAFLJAFLJAFLJKAFK AKJLFJLK AFKLAJFLKFJAFKJA AFLKJALJFKF HOWLS SO MUCH JUST BARKS AT THE MOON FRRRFFFFF RRRRFFFF FR FF AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

okay listen being reminded that illustration exists makes me feel SERIOUSLY unhinged like I CANNOT AND WILL NOT be normal about it because yes listen yes i agree. i know quimchee draws things for fun, but even when she does it always feels very... in character. her illustrations always suit the characters "why would they be in this situation" and like..... YEAH. It's the BODY LANGUAGE and how it ties right into what we are hoping we'll get from Nol and Shinae's continued relationship, it's something about the CONFIDENCE and her expression, how SHE'S the only one really seated on the throne - Nol lounges behind her, seated on the arm of the throne. It's HER throne, he's not even trying to take it from here - it feels SO VERY Shinae in charge so HONESTLY? I totally get why it gives you CEO Shinae vibes. Even if Nol does somehow end up in the family business (and listen I'm still pretty leery of that for now) there's this remaining sense that SHE'S in command, they aren't competing. in fact, if anything, Nol is her back up. He lounges out behind her like a cat on her shoulder, his arm draped over her shoulder connecting them. His gaze is as intense as hers!!!!! It feels SO FUCKING MUCH like power couple Shinae and Nol???? lmao (sorry Alyssa I know that was your dream)

I've always felt that a lot of quim's illustrations DO have some kind of implication, whether it's just telling us a dynamic between characters, a tone, or what, and this one just feels SO LOADED. Every time I think about Nol and Shinae as a unit, as a team, as having each other's backs. The fact that Nol LITERALLYYYYYYY has her back!!!!!!!! That feeling that he would sic you, if she so commanded it? OH GOD I LOVE IT lajkfkafjkafkjajkafjkafjkaf Cos yeah that's the thing even if it IS just their dynamic and not business-related, the dynamic STILL tells us a lot about Shinae in charge, of boss babe Shinae who is no victim to Yui, who is able to stand up to her adversary and look her in the face afljakfkajfkafj

god i am biting my hand and telling myself to reign it in but OH MY GOD I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT IT

and now that we can pretty safely assume that Kousuke's role in this story never was as a love interest I think we can glean a little bit about the juxtaposition of these images against each other - again, like you said, it's the body language it's the attire. Shinae in Charge. I love her!

(no comment about neither shin or nol being able to sit on that chair normally but note taken)

aren't they both confirmed bi or bi-curious? LFKJALFJALFJAKFJAF LMAO see quimchee really tells us everything we need in these illustrations FLJAFLJKAFKJAFJ LMAO

I keep going back and forth on what I expect to happen at the hospital, because 3 remaining days IS a lot! I'm really torn on if I think Yui is going to be. It feels like it, right? It feels like it's building up to it, but part of it is because Yui is grappling for control, she needs to reign it back in and part of that involves finding Rand and/or Nol. But I keep thinking about like.... what purpose does it serve? Does Yui wield any power over other hospitals? The obvious and therefore most unlikely is that of course she'd find him and do something to harm him, but.... idk. I don't think Yui really wants Nol dead. She lives to torture him, she's like a sadistic cat with the half-dead mouse it's plays with til it exhausts itself and dies. She wants to instill fear in him. He's probably not on Nol's emergency contacts so no receptionist would just.... let her in and see him - but we're also talking about a person who could pay off anyone so it's like... are they likely to stand their ground against her? There's something very sinister and scary to me about Yui showing up where Nol is injured - though he's not totally bed-ridden but. Still. She didn't like his insolence the night before, but what kind of scene can she make in a public place? The other thing is, I can't imagine Nana leaving his side and if she WERE to leave his side, I imagine she would ensure SOMEONE, one of Nol's friends, are there to keep watch. Nana is no fool - she has a witch hunting book. She knows that Yui is relentless. So I've considered even IF Yui were to show up, Nol wouldn't be there alone, isolated. He'd have people there at his defense, and we know Nana is a great force against Yui already. We've seen Shinae stand up for him time and time again.

If anything, because this is meant to be setting things up for us to move into our timeskip, maybe it would be a "face off" for them, with Yui trying to remind Nol he better stay in line, lest anything "bad happen" (IMPLICATIONS) and Nol showing he is no longer that meek, scared little boy, that the power she holds over him isn't what it used to be. Of course, he was pretty drunk at the party the night before but I think a lot of the resolve remained. He jumped into that pool and came back Nolan, no longer Yeonggi. Maybe it would set up for the future that he is not to be underestimated. Nol officially entering the match~

I contemplate if I think Rand will show up at all. I feel like... when he left, it felt kind of final? He had made his decision - he had let enough harm befall his son, he doesn't deserve him after any of this. He's been a terrible father, he couldn't protect them, but at least he now has people in his life, people who have been for him what Rand couldn't be. But also.... I'm not satisfied with that and i wish rand would show up even if it's just to apologize. I know Nol isn't in the place to accept it or even believe his father loves or cares about him but I want Rand to at least make the effort. Even if Nol won't accept it. Especially if Nol won't accept it. Just fucking put it out there! Say the things you never do!!!!! Tell him how fucking SCARED you were when you saw his body in the snow bleeding out a pool of blood. How terrified you were and how you knew it was your failure. The pool was just mere HOURS before! Like, TWO? THREE TOPS?

Whatever Rand says can't and won't make up for anything but... especially because the theme of heart attacks continues to surround Rand, I want him to say it while he has the chance. I want him to admit his failings but also I want him to tell Nol what he means.

fljafjafjkjfka ;__________; I have such complicated feelings about them. Like. Like Kousuke, Nol does not require Rand's validation or love. But they deserve to know it, to see it, even if just once. Just to know it was real. Just to know that despite it all.

Part of me also wants Rand to visit just so Nol can really see: that could be his future. Maybe subconsciously become a warning to himself that he cannot continue to isolate himself, lest he become that husk of a man.

(I wonder if Alyssa even knows. Like. It sounds like news coverage was hush hush, at least about the involved parties. Nol isn't reaching out to her. Unless LMAO Rand does? Or god forbid Yui does. But even then it's like...... hmmmm. Would she want to see him? They parted on such bad terms and as an idol she doesn't exactly have a lot of free time, especially with a new album coming up. As far as she knows, Nol was meant to turn himself in today and be off to jail! WILD)

I absolutely think you're right, and especially as a non-shipper your insight is even less biased. It's funny because I am a person who always hated "toxic relationships" but I think what I hated was that often a female character was denied agency and she was often in love with (told but never explicitly shown in a way that makes you understand it) him despite how much of a jerk he is how he purposefully hurts her or doesn't respect her feelings. And I think that idea really snowballed and became a much bigger umbrella to things that don't apply. Nol definitely can be seen as being "toxic" although I wouldn't categorize him that way. When he has hurt Shinae, we've seen that it affects/hurts him, too. The sheer guilt he went through after their confrontation outside of his school that had him RETCHING. I think, yeah, if you aren't a pure cinnamon roll, there's a big chance you might get written off as toxic. Now, don't get me wrong. Stalkyoo is clearly the majority popular ship of ILY and has been for a long time, but when people try to pit Dieter vs Nol, that's how it largely feels. Like saying that because Nol is going through it, he's going to be a bad partner.

Like, first of all, never mind that knowing feelings doesn't immediately mean dating. But also.... idk it starts to rub me weird and I think we start to see a LOT of weird ableism. Cos right, Nol is so bad because he's SOOO unstable and thus Dieter is better - but like you said, they think nothing of Shinae's own baggage. It's not just about the male partner, it's about HER, too. We could even argue that Shinae having baggage would create issues for her and Dieter. That doesn't make them impossible. But we've seen that Nol and Shinae are getting better at handling each others' baggage, too. When she tried to run away after he climbed up to the roof to join her, he knew to stop her, because he knew it was Shinae shrinking in on herself, feeling vulnerable and exposed and wanting to run away from the situation instead of face it. Shinae is calling him out more and more. And after 231, which I assume you've read but I'll still keep it vaugue, I think we're seeing that even though Nol has been pushing her away, that part of his resolve is starting to break. He's figuring out his feelings and what they mean to feel them, to share them.

Idk it's just. Right lmao you're very right about all of it! I think there was this really big push about toxic relationships and wanting to see healthier relationships in media, especially YA books, right? To see fewer asshole male leads and more wholesome relationships. There's nothing wrong with that, I LOVE that! But that's the thing about Nol and Shinae - like you said. Relationships ARE work. They're SUPPOSED to be. You're constantly having to match yourself with your partner, to understand and meet their needs. Hashing things out early helps figure out your dynamic, if it's worth it. Arguing ISN'T bad. It doesn't mean "this is an ill fit relationship". It only is when neither of them resolve to change, when neither of them can accommodate the other. And I think we've seen that Shinae is VERY willing to accommodate, and I think we've seen enough of Nol's want vs resolve (he always caves; EVERY TIME he gives in and goes to her) will wear down. It's so inherently tied to his self-image but that's not an eternal thing.

Talking about one being more stable than the other just reeks of ableism. I hate the adage that you'll never be able to be loved until you can learn to love yourself. It's GROSS, it's stupid!!!!!! Sometimes people see in us the things we can't see until they illuminate it, until they help us see that thing in ourselves, and THAT is Nol and Shinae to me. It's Nol seeing in her someone who is so scared and insecure who doesn't believe in herself and just needed encouragement, just needed a little nudging, just needed to be believed in. Look HOW MUCH she's grown since we met her, how much she's come around!!!!!!! He illuminated something in her she couldn't see. And I think that's what Shinae's persistent love and care for Nol is. He is so convinced he's unloveable, that he's this monster, that he brings harm to those he loves, but she's so persistent I think it can't help but wear down that resolve. Can't help but give him some hope. To think maybe, maybe, if anyone can find it in him, it's her. That maybe if she can see it, he might one day, too?

Relationships are about GROWING TOGETHER. It's not come back when you're "healthy" and "recovered" or whatever that means. Like, yeah, there are circumstances that will stand in the way of Shinae and Nol being in a relationship - but it's not about their "mental states". aljfkjafkjaf this is a whole other essay but lmao I JUST HAVE SUCH STRONG FEELINGS like I don't hate people shipping Shinae and Dieter! I love them, too! I enjoy them as a pairing. Yeah, Stalkyoo is my OTP but it doesn't stop me enjoying other pairings. I just hate when people try to make it about who is "better" and by better than mean "mentally healthier" or that relationships that require effort and work are somehow inherently unhealthy and toxic. At the end of the day, anyway, it's about who Shinae loves. Who lights her up, who makes her feel that spark, who she WANTS to put that effort into. She could easily decide that yeah, loving Nol is a fight she doesn't want to have, that she doesn't have the endurance for it. But that still doesn't make it a toxic pairing - it just means it wasn't right for her.

(But yes I WILL bark at the moon about it! Speak your mind, Lil Anon, you are on the same page!!! It's about the MUTUAL GROWTH AND SUPPORT. IT'S ABOUT SEEING SOMETHING IN EACH OTHER, AND LIKEWISE HELPING ONE AND OTHER SEE IT. IT'S ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE WHO LIGHTS UP THE DARKNESS, YOU GIVES YOU HOPE, WHO MAKES YOU A LITTLE LESS AFRAID. IT'S ABOUT THE PARALLELS, GOD HELP ME IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THE MIRRORS. It's about the people you will run to the ends of the earth for because THAT'S how much they matter THAT'S how important they are because you CANNOT bear to lose them because life without them means nothing AND GOD I cannot imagine their lives without each other sobs)

Also don't worry about your wording! I think we CAN argue Nol is flawed and messy, in addition to troubled, and that's not an inherently bad thing. Everyone is flawed, and I definitely knew what you meant. Aren't most teenagers messy? He has such big feelings and especially for his age on top of normal feelings and it's so hard to NOT be messy. There's no way he can have everything figured it out!

Okay I know this response is like SO LATE lmao but I'll tell you anyway what I EXPECTED to happen. I thought Yui already knew of Simhan - what he looked like and stuff like that, but it felt felt much like she didn't quite know until the details started to come in and the DREAD was just HEAVY in my stomach I was just screaming and climbing walls during their meeting. All the information! Just like that!!!! Right into the palm of their hands!!!! AND!!!!! They can lead her to Nol. GOD it's so unnerving and stressful how easily she could just gather all of that and I am TERRIFIED. The ominous image of Simhan trapped in the beer bottle is just back to HAUNT MEEEEEEEEE. I don't doubt that's where it's going - or at least that he'll be tempted towards it. It's definitely going to be a battle but I don't want to see things fall apart again. :( Earlier I'd wondered if that might be what lead Shinae to HAVING to rely on Yui's offer, against her better wishes. But now that Rand is convincing Shinae to do it.... idk. Maybe it still will be? I hope not. I DO want to see things go well. I DO want the Yoos and the Parks to be a family, for Minhyuk to be the big brother he's been, for them to know PEACE and not have to struggle and fight and claw their ways to stay afloat AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

May Mina and the power of love be enough to help Simhan avoid tragedy FLJAFJLKAKFJAKF SOBS