#and this is gonna sound so bitchy but i just hate having moments like this when i feel like i cannot connect with anyone and then to have

[spaceradars]

why do i feel so weird lately oh my god.

[arcadia345]

Astro observations🌺

FYI I’m not a real astrologer, just my observations :) TW🔞

The cancer moon men I know are pretty chill and laid back + funny, but the women are so bitchy and moody😭 with a big sweet tooth

Every twin I know either has Gemini or Pisces placements

You ever meet someone and their neck just stands out for some reason added points if they smell good, most likely they’re a Taurus rising/ mars. Good example is Megan thee stallion her neck is so cute to me hehe

Aries in the chart can show you the things you were introduced to at a very young age, the early memories that you think of and say ‘That was wild lol’

3rd: could’ve started learning way before you started school(like flash cards and things) siblings and cousins, music, having access to electronics early

4th: erratic home life, the woman around you could be go getters

6th: could’ve got a lot of injuries when younger, probably couldn’t have a peaceful day even if you tried, bad experiences with animals

7th: domestic abuse, might have seen people having affairs, lots of disagreements between couples

12th:paranormal events, you could’ve had a lot of deja vu moments without even knowing, tend to have strong spiritual gifts,people having ill intentions towards you

Aquarius moon or degree/ moon in the 11th tend to have a “second mom” a person that treats them like their one of their own children, sometimes even better than their own mother does. 🌚

The people with mars in the first house I know have so many battle scars on their body

Moon/cancer in 3rd love changing their voices, and they have a bad habit of not telling the whole truth / white lies

Water sign on the descendent- people are always wondering what you’re up to, no matter how much you show them they’ll still wanna know what you’re hiding

Your first house correlates to how you came into this world, I have Chiron (ruled by Virgo) in my 12 conjunct my ascendant, uhm she said she almost d*ed having me😀 and I was a C-section baby. And the hospital did her so dirty(you know much they hate black women) they didn’t even stitch her back up correctly or drain her fluids and to this day she still has problems. The also gave her extra dosages of drugs just cause she’s a plus size woman- honestly I could go on and on but it really correlates with my cap rising and Neptune/Uranus in 1st

Mercury ☌ Sun, these people voices are just💋💋 they sound so sensual and unique ugh hard to explain it but 🥴 ex. Jungkook , Tupac

Gemini/ Libra in 2nd love collecting things like figurines makeup clothes candles plushies, could easily be a borderline hoarder tho

Ives noticed that sun in 10th have a strained relationship with their father, but their later years in life their relationship gets better, or not could really go either way, also could have money issues in their early years but ends up climbing the corporate ladder. It may take you a while to tho but just know it’ll be worth it in the end :) also they always stand out at their work place in some way, the coworker that you’re glad to see clock in at rush hour cause you know they gonna handle shit

Venus- mercury positive aspects love giving out nicknames to their favorite people 🥺if they’re always calling you cute names just know they really care about you lol

Sag moons and degrees have no chill😀 like calm down bae sag anything tbh🚬

9th house ruler in the 11th could go to the same college with their old friends or could become very popular in the area they’re in, I think they’d make good bloggers

Air signs or degrees in 5th are trend setters.

Aquarius you inspire people, they could take things and make it into their own like art

With gemini here people will “copy & paste” ur looks. But no matter what it just looks like a knockoff version of what you did lmao it just never look as good as yours

Libra here people are very opinionated on how you express yourself either in a good way or bad, neither less you guys get a lot of compliments on your style

Every time I see a Capricorn rising with Neptune in the 1st it’s like their skin is see through and fragile😯makes sense tho since caps rule the skin and Neptune fogs things up. A good example is Ariana Grande her skin looks so delicate

Pluto/Scorpio in the 11th/11th house ruler in 8th, your friends could hate each other🤺 also they could have a rough life/childhood, trauma bonding or just experiencing traumatic events together is common here

Chiron in Aries (honestly any Aries placements it just depends on where it is), most people didn’t pay attention to them in their childhood in some way so they learned to be independent because of their lack of support cardinal things fr

That’s all for today! Give me a follow if you enjoyed💕

[elldritch-horror]

Ah, what the hell, while I’m publicly calling out my autistic ass for all the things I hate about myself which I’m now realising are just really unaccommodated autism…

One of the things that’s always bugged me most about me is my inability to make plans for fun things and then want to do them. Like, there’s a film coming out I want to see and I make plans with people I enjoy spending time with to go see it, and I look forward to it until the moment I actually gotta go do the plan, and then my brain goes No. and I hate the plan and I hate the people and I hate the film and I want to stay home instead.

I’m autistic! Plans are supposed to be my jam! So I figured I was just contrary, flakey, (or a cruel tease, if the plan was intimate time with a partner) all sorts of bad stuff.

Nah, it’s just pathological demand avoidance (or, the less-stigmatising term a beloved friend uses, ‘persistent demand for autonomy’). Because when the plan turns into something I am obligated to do, it feels like a threat, and pings my fight or flight response.

Good lord, the trouble I’d have saved if I’d learned to identify that nebulous, prickly, hackles-up feeling as my sympathetic nervous system kicking into gear, and not just me being bitchy!

Other totally benign stuff that I’ve noticed elicits this response: someone else picking the media we’re gonna enjoy while hanging out, even if their taste is impeccable and I’ve enjoyed their recommendations in the past. If they pick, my brain sees this as a demand that I watch/listen to/read the thing, and therefore an infringement upon my autonomy.

A possibly-widely-relatable example that I’m sure I’ve seen referenced often enough that it’s a cliche - when someone asks you to do something you were literally just about to do and now you do not want to do it. Or absolutely everyone tells you that you have to check out this amazing show, and the show does kinda sound good, but you absolutely will not watch it, just because everyone keeps harping on about it

(I do wonder whether PDA would be such a thing with autism if we were less consistently infantilised, and had our autonomy respected more, but that’s a whole ‘nother post)

I’m afraid I haven’t come up with a good remedy for this one yet, other than being aware of what it is, and remembering that most times, if I can regulate myself enough to be able to go through with the plan, I’ll enjoy it.

This is honestly why I love the term ‘spicy brain’, because dealing with PDA or overstimulation or various other neurodivergent things feels like trying to eat really spicy food. I might know, intellectually, that it’s just capsaicin tricking my nerves into thinking that they’re on fire, and there’s no real threat of harm, but my nerves are me and the pain is real and unpleasant, even if the stimulus is totally safe. Sometimes I can eat the really spicy curry and enjoy it, and sometimes I need to work with what my body needs to feel safe and eat toast. Toast that no one else is asking me to eat

[quiet-compassion]

OFMD Fluffvember Day 11: Treasure

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51679648

“You hate it, don’t you?”

Stede startles, face shifting from vague befuddlement to wide-eyed panic.

“Of course I don’t!” he asserts indignantly. His eyes flicker back down to the paper in his lap. “But, uh, what is it, exactly?”

Ed sighs. Fucking figures. He’s been working on this gift for Stede for two weeks, staying up late after Stede fell asleep and bringing supplies out with him on the dinghy while fishing to maintain the secret and surprise. And even after all of that, it’s still not right.

“It’s a map,” he explains, voice resigned. 

Stede rolls his eyes on instinct. “Yes, I can see that.” His tone is extremely bitchy in a way that makes Ed feel incredibly fond even in the midst of this moment of embarrassment. Stede takes a moment to breathe, schooling his expression into something softer, more polite, before continuing on. “I meant, what is it a map of, dear?”

Ed hesitates. This already feels like a bit of a disaster and the idea of digging himself even further into this hole, of seeing this gift idea through, is not pleasant. The thing is Stede is just so good at gifts. He’s always been overwhelmingly generous with Ed, sharing his fine things, giving Ed finery of his own. Even now, with considerably less wealth at his disposal, he’s always giving Ed thoughtful stuff. He saves Ed the last bit of pineapple. He fashions Ed a new fishing rod, taking the time to carve his name into the handle. He writes Ed letters full of love. It comes easily to Stede in a way it doesn’t to him.

And look, it’s not that he doesn’t want to give Stede things. It’s that the gift ideas he comes up with never feel worthy of Stede. You don’t become history’s greatest pirate without getting your hands on a lot of loot. He’s stolen precious jewels, plundered fine heirlooms, amassed a plethora of riches. Stede is by far the finest most precious thing he’s ever beheld. What present could possibly live up to that? But every time Stede gives him something, he feels warmed from the inside. And he wants to make Stede feel like that.

So, pride be damned, he’s giving Stede this gift.

“It’s a map of the island,” he says in answer to Stede’s question. “Well, a map of what we’ve explored so far. The positioning and the landmarks should be right but the scale’s a bit wonky I reckon, since I did it from memory.”

Stede’s mouth falls open into a little ‘o’. “You drew me a map of our home?”

“Yeah, but not because I think you’re gonna get lost or anything!” Ed rushes to assure him. “Just—fuck! Okay, you see this spot up here?” He leans over the map still clasped in Stede’s hands, pointing to a corner he’s marked with an ‘x’.

Stede nods, bringing his finger up to the spot in question and tracing over it.

“Well, you gotta use the map to get there, to find it.”

There’s a beat of silence

“You drew me a map and planned me a treasure hunt?”

Ed nods, rocking back on his heels, hand shoved into his pockets. He’s trying to project nonchalance despite the roaring insecurity threatening to consume him. “Yeah, not like it’s a big deal. Just an idea I had—”

“Ed,” Stede interrupts. “You drew me a map and planned me a treasure hunt!” He sounds giddy, astonished. Ed chances a glance at him.

“Well…”

“Edward, this is amazing! We get to go on another adventure together! You must have spent a while on this,” he pours over the map again with more enthusiasm. “There’s a good bit of detail here!”

Caught off guard, Ed asks, “So…you like it?”

Stede beams at him. “Ed, I love it! It’s a lovely surprise! But I thought you said pirates don’t bury treasure.”

Ed smiles bashfully. “Yeah, they don’t. But we’re not really pirates anymore, are we?”

Stede’s practically vibrating with excitement now. “What’s the occasion? What brought this on?” he asks.

“No occasion, really. Just, you do thoughtful shit for me all the time. And I wanted to show you that I was thinking of you too. Am thinking of you. Like, all the time.”

The smile he receives from Stede then is a gift in its own right. Instantly, the uncertainty and reticence he’d been feeling melt away, replaced by a cozy calmness. He blames the warmth in his chest for the sappy line he says next.

“Besides, you’re my greatest treasure, so this seemed fitting.”

It’s cheesy as hell but Stede seems touched, if a little disappointed. 

“Ah, so that’s the treasure, is it? Symbolic? Time spent together on an adventure?” His voice is deceivingly light.

Ed laughs. “Um, no. Fuck that. There’s trinkets buried up there,” he assures, envisioning the sea glass necklaces he had painstakingly made to bury alongside a jar of marmalade and some cool-looking shells. “What, you think I’d drag us all that way only to not dig something up?”

“Oh thank god,” Stede exhaled. “That would have been such a bummer!”

Ed leans against the wall, watching with fond admiration as Stede darts excitedly around their cabin grabbing supplies and pondering an outfit change. Perhaps he’s not as bad at gifting as he thought.

[queerfables]

911 season 5 part 1 liveblog

5x01

Okay, dramatic opening image!!

Love it

What's this walking dead shit

Omg emus??

Oh jeeze what else is loose here

A fucking GIRAFFE ok I'm obsessed

This is a GREAT fucking opening

LMFAO I appear to have accidentally downloaded the Spanish dub

Ok an hour later that mix up is not as funny as it was but we are back baby

Take two

Btw I don't think I've mentioned it yet but I love the show's score

Little baaaaaaaby

What the hell is wrong with the human brain that at the moments when you need it to be functioning the most, like when you have a new kid for example, there's a solid chance it just breaks

It's Mad About Depression hours I guess

The fact that Eddie is so stubbornly insisting that meeting his girlfriend's family isn't a big deal

Idk I guess Eddie's love interests so far just haven't grabbed me. His type is bland willowy ladies and I would like to see some sparks.

911 is being flooded with calls?

Oh shit this is bad

This really does not seem like a glitch to me

Haha oh it's kind of fun to see Taylor and Buck getting a little spicy. I've been thinking about how this show doesn't really do much sexiness and it's not like it needs it but I also sometimes think it doesn't have to be quite as sanitised as it is.

(I may or may not have been thinking this in the context of, it would be fun to see some hot and heavy Buck/Eddie makeouts. They're both very attractive people, sue me)

(But Taylor is also very attractive and I'm down with Buck/Taylor make-outs)

Ok the fact that she was seducing Buck to get access to his phone just makes it hotter. Hi Taylor just a heads up if things with Buck don't work out I am available.

(Also will someone write me Buck/Eddie/Taylor because for real I would be into that)

Yeah ransomware makes way more sense

What the fuck how does the rapist have a giggly female fanclub?? That does not seem plausible to me.

T____T Christopher is so cute trying on suits

Oh no Eddie did not like Ana being referred to as Christopher's mum

That looks like a panic attack to me

"I don't panic" shut up and take the damn pamphlet Eddie. I hate to break it to you but you are still a human being.

Oh Athena, honey

Harry taking care of his mum is so soft

I'm sorry but as a former legal transcriptionist, self-reps are never this calm and collected. they are constantly being pulled up by the judge on things they're not allowed to say and getting off track (it's a little bit funny). It's pretty implausible, under the circumstances, that he would be allowed to represent himself in the first place - and that is for his own protection.

Oh the idiot defendant decided to make a break for it in the chaos while maintaining his innocence? That sounds more like the self reps I'm familiar with

Crying with laughter over how a digital attack is somehow making an analogue clock go haywire

Oh Buck gets bitchy when Eddie hides things from him

On top of everything else, now there's a blackout?

This is officially beyond my ability to suspend disbelief.

Still, I am having a good time. I love when shows go big and get stupid with it.

No!! Not Athena's detective friend!!

5x02

Jesus Christ Bobby that was very heroic but you know that if you die Athena will KILL you right?

Oh fuck Athena's friend didn't die I'm so relieved

I really thought he was gone

Fire Marshall Buck, my delight!

Man Eddie is never gonna beat the gay allegations if he keeps having panic attacks every time someone thinks things are more serious with Ana than they are

(I'm being a little flippant of course I know there are other reasons for that to feel Fraught)

(I just can't help but think about how much of his relationship with Shannon felt like someone checking the boxes he's supposed to check. To me, at least.)

Ok but when do the animals come back

Oh my god Eddie is so FOND listening to Buck talk about the animals at the zoo and why they should be panicking

Buck on "animal control" is hilarious

LOL at Hen and Bobby being menaced by alpacas

"Clever girl" HEE

T_T oh I know this is deliberate weepy feelgood bait but the neighbourhood coming together to help the little boy on the ventilator still gets me

Aw Buck is so worried about Eddie's hypothetical heart attack

"Suddenly it became a ready-made family and I don't know if I'm ready for that"

LOL Eddie is going to "stick it out" with Ana because she is, and I quote, "the first woman I've wanted to spend this much time with since Shannon." My guy you spent most of your marriage to Shannon in Afghanistan.

Eddie taking a nap to avoid a big life conversation feels very relatable lol

I'm glad Chimney is talking to Hen about Maddie having post-partum. He needs support too.

Oh jeeze that's so scary, falling asleep with the baby in the bath. I fell asleep holding the baby once, just for a split second while sitting up in bed, and dropped him onto the floor. I don't think I have ever felt worse. But he was fine and Maddie's baby is also fine.

D: the attacker is at Athena's house. Oh that feels horrible. Even just knowing he'd been there. I would have to move.

Harry oh no!!!

This horrible worm of a person with Harry in his car boot. I will fight him.

Jesus Christ ANOTHER cliffhanger? But I really have to sleep this is terrible

Stay tuned I guess T_T

[pontiussy]

Chris Pontius- I Could Never Hate You

I hope you like this, love! It’s kind of just a short blurb and I don’t think it’s my best work aaaa

Warnings: none

“Y/N, you’re being ridiculous. Chris doesn’t hate ANYBODY, well, except for Ehren”, Steve shushed to his aggravated friend. “ME, Steve. He hates ME.” Y/N just didn’t understand what Chris had against her. Chris Pontius was such a joyful soul. What about her brought this agressive and bitchy side out of him? She could handle not being liked. It’s not new to her, and she could not give a shit about anyones opinions, but something about CHRIS not liking her just sent a frustration through her veins that she could not describe. It didn’t make sense, and it wasn’t fair.

“Why don’t you just TALK to him?”

“TALK TO HIM?? Steve O are you CRAZY?”

“Y/N you’re acting like an asshole. It’s not crazy to wanna have an adult conversation and be civil to your costar. Grow up!”

“Steve I’m not doing it. Just forget it.”

“Whatever”

She huffed and threw her head back grumpily. Steve O was right, but she couldn’t admit it.

“I’m gonna go outside for a smoke”, she groaned, just needing a moment away from the confrontation.

She walked outside and pulled a pack of cigs out of her pocket. She sat down criss crossed against the side of the building. She lit one up and took a long drag. So many thoughts clouded her mind. Thoughts of how Chris behaves, their work relationship, what Steve had said… Chris’s beautiful smile. That made it all the more frustrating. Y/N had thought Chris was the most handsome little thing since the moment she met him, but he wanted nothing to do with her. Not to mention the guy’s hilarious. There were so many things about him that she just CRAVED. She wanted to let go of these feelings so badly, knowing that nothing could ever come of them, but it just wasn’t happening. This asshole still lived in her mind every waking second of her day. She sees his light, long hair flowing when there’s a slight breeze in the air, his muscles when he takes his shirt off for a bit, his hazel eyes when the sun is out, and his contagious giggle almost every time she closed her eyes. It was excruciating.

“Y/N”, Steve-O called. “Jeff needs you on set for a bit in 5”. She nodded and took a few more puffs from her cigarette before putting it out. She was still frustrated by Steve-O, but that was her best friend regardless. “Ok”

She stood up and wiped dirt off her pants. She strolled toward the room they were shooting in, and to her shock, it was empty. “I thought this asshole said to come here??”, she whispered to herself. She sat down for a moment until a handsome, long haired man walked through the door. The normally smiley boy just sort of grimaced when he noticed he was alone with her.

There was a jarringly loud sound. The doors were now locked. “Hey Y/N. TALK TO HIM”, she could hear Johnny Knoxville saying from some sort of PA system. “you DICKS!!!”, she groaned. “We aren’t letting you two out of there until you COMMUNICATE. Have fun!”

The first few moments consisted of awkward shared stares. “Well on with it. What’s your problem with me?”, Pontius asked. “MY problem?? What’s YOUR fucking problem, Pontius?”, she raised her voice. “My problem is that you act like THIS! I’ve never done anything to you! I don’t understand your passive aggressiveness”. Y/N almost audibly rolled her eyes. “I act like this because you HATE ME, Pontius. You-“ “HATE you?”, he cut her off. His demeanor softened. “I could never hate you.”

Y/N was unfathomably confused. “Well you sure act like it!”

Pontius sighed and wiped his forehead. “I can’t tell you the truth.”

Y/N grew more frustrated. “WHY THE FUCK CANT YOU!?”

“Sweetie. Calm down.”

The word sent a cold chill down her spine. His unusual sweetness oddly soothed her.

“I want to tell you I just, I’m just scared you just- I don’t know.”

“Pontius please just tell me. Whatever it is. I can take it.”

“I don’t hate you. I never hated you.”

“Then why do you act this way around me”

“God I just. I’m just gonna say it and get it over with. I really adore you, Y/N. I know I act like an ass but I don’t mean to. I’m just frustrated because I know you’ll never feel the same, so I come off like this. I hate that I make you feel so frustrated, I know it’s not right. I just can’t help knowing the girl I’ve been so fond of since the moment I layed eyes on her will never be mine”

Y/N’s mouth parted in shock. She was trying to find the words to say. Mumbles and uneven breaths were all that could escape from her mouth. “I know I made things awkward Y/N but please know I don’t hate you. I couldn’t. You’re so precious and cool and hot and, fuck I’m being weird.”

“Pontius, do you know why this shit really makes me so upset???”

He frowned, fully believing he had made her uncomfortable with his confession. “I’m so sorry Y/N I-“ “you’re so beautiful, Chris. I want you to like me so badly because you’re so fucking cute and sweet and funny and I just thought that I was never gonna be enough for you. It makes me upset when you’re laughing and having a good time with everyone and I feel so excluded. I wanna make you laugh like that. I’ve always wanted you so badly.”

“You’re mocking me aren’t you”, he responded. “No I’m fucking not!!! I adore you and admire you so much, I’ve had this dumb thing for you for so long and-“ Pontius grabbed the sides of her face and placed a passionate kiss on her lips. He tasted like cigarettes and minty gum. She calmed and eased into his kiss. He snaked his arms around her and pulled her close. He kept her embraced as he pulled his face away. He pushed her hair behind her ear and looked at her. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have talked this through sooner. I’ve always wanted to do that”, he smiled. Y/N fell closer into his arms and hugged him tight. “I was immature too. Please Pontius just let this be behind us. I want more of this. I wanna experience sweet Pontius that everyone else does.” “I wanna give you more than that, sweetheart”

“Y/N AND PONTIUS SITTING IN A TREE! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!” The voice on the PA system screamed. “YOU MIC’ED US???”, Y/N screamed back. They could hear the sounds of the guys laughing in the other room now. “You’re such DICKS!!!!”

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 Finally 4x01!!! The new intro started playing and he got up so fucking fast as if he was watching a game ‘WAIT WHAT?! THIS IS DIFFERENT! OH MY GOD THIS IS COOL AS FUCK! I like this more!! *tries to sing along while not knowing the song* ..cue…BEGIN…pulse..YEAH i fuck with this. And of course the intro ends on Brian walking away. He is the moment!’ ‘Ohhhh Drag Queen moment! I fuck with this. Hi BRIAN! Look at them just hanging out in THEIR loft, damn he is broke as fuck, huh? *said in an affectionate aww type of voice* THEY ARE PARTNERS! He really hates accepting any type of help, huh? Brian maybe you should listen to your own advice from two seasons ago about a man knowing when to accept help. Wait shit, i just remembered the nothing noble about being poor thing. Well fuck Brian’ It briefly showed Mel and Linds and he was so disappointed until Britin popped up again ‘this is what I want every episode, Brian and Justin. And that’s it’ ‘I am genuinely surprised that Hunter and Mike haven’t killed each other. Proud of them’ ‘Brian having lunch with Ben and Linds AND mel? Is he okay? Aw Brian and Justin being sarcastic is one of my favorite things in the world. (Deb says Mikey and her talk 3x a day) Okay, three times a day is…yeah. I mean even I don’t..actually never mind. OH HE IS GONNA KILL EVERYONE IF THEY DONT STOP PITYING HIM. But Bri Bri you are broke as a jok- HA he is gonna steal Bald dudes clients’ ‘i like this drag queen singing in between moments. Its been a while since I went to a drag show. I wonder if they miss me back home..i mean i did tell them I was leaving but still, i hope they miss me- oh ted. I was trying to forget that horrible party-BLAKEY! I’m so happy that he’s good now. EMMETT! Im glad he came to visit but I rea- Ted what the hell is wrong with you? He didn’t do shit wrong to you, why are you being bitchy? No Emy no, blakey didnt do anything wrong. But damn it i get Emy is hurt but fucking hell this isnt it. GIVE ME BRIAN BACK’ brian shows up on screen with Vance ‘HA WHAT DID I SAY? I CAN FEEL WHEN MY BOY IS UP! Wait that..sounds..weird. Of course he looks great, he always does. Oh so now you love him, fuck you baldy, Brian youre better than this. I like his hair. *does jazz hands* spikey. Oh baldy knows that Brian could destroy him if he pulls a Justin Timberlake and goes solo. DO IT BRI BRI! I didnt plan on him having his own company but DO IT!!!!’ ‘How did Mike already lose Hunte- HES HUSTLING AGAIN? *randomly starts laughing* It’s really funny hearing Mike call him little asshole when they’re the same height.’ Ted and Blake are on right now where he’s cleaning the floor ‘ohhhh i think this is gonna be bad. I hope im wrong because i like Blakey but this is looking like you know that thing where you get a crush on your savior or your therapist or something like that? I know my shit..i think’ ‘OH MY GOD WHAT DID THEY DO TO BRIANS CAR? Id rip their head off? I mean the car sucks but damn. Wait i forgot to focus on the important stuff: Brian looks good as fuck! CAN HE STOP KISSING HIM?’ ‘ITS BRIAN AGAIN!(Brian says ‘because no ones close friendship means more to me than yours’) aww Bri Bri, i feel the same way. Im glad you can agree that we have a deep connectio- OH HE IS GONNA GO SOLO! HES PULLING A BEYONCÉ! YOU GO GIRL! I really like the drag queen moments.. i miss my girls back home, i gotta call them.’ ‘AW JUSTIN CAME UP WITH THE COMPANY NAME!! KINNETIK! I fuck with that. I think i need a new shirt (i said No at this point) *looks at me and does jazz hands* merch. Of course Blondie is the one to help him come up with the name. LOOK AT THEM ALL HAPPY AND IN LOVE! Aw they wanna hang out with Emy! I NEEDED THIS TRIO! Make them hang out like when they danced together. The new dream team!’

The new intro! It really reminds me of the OG intro to the OG Beverly Hills 90210 (not to date myself).

It is so hard to watch Emmett and Ted during this arc.

Brian looks sooooooo good in S4.

OH HE IS GONNA GO SOLO! HES PULLING A BEYONCÉ! Truly, I looked it up and she went solo in 2003 right as this was being filmed (if I've got my timelines correct).

AND YES JUSTIN CAME UP WITH KINNETIK. He's named both Gus and Kinnetik (swoon).

The new dream team - I wish!

[scarletlilyy]

I can go on for days how much teenage boys treat girls they don't find attractive differently but here's my most recent experience

Okay first of all I just want to say the experience varies, some guys are only friends with girls they don't find attractive cus it's easier and they don't have to get nervous around them, these kinda guys r usually alr but sometimes they view u as a man/male friend and it can be very degrading

some guys are only friends with girls they find attractive and it's not necessarily always with the intentions of dating sometimes just for attention or a pretty face to look at imo. These kind of guys are usually not kind to girls they don't find attractive

either way the experience of girl, especially black girl, who's not conventionally attractive is not always a fun one.

Currently, I'm at summer camp and it's been really fun for the most part. Today we were doing some art group work thingy and I went to a group with two guys just to see their stuff. I stood there and asked them if I could see their stuff like 5-6 times and they just ignored me and didn't say anything. Like nothing like "no" or anything. It was until I went ahead to just peek at it anyway, just for one of them to say "you'll see it fully when we win"

that wasn't bad of anything but what really set me off is how they treat me differently compared to the other girls at the camp.

For example one of the guys I approached in particular has been very kind to some other girls, one time he pulled out a chair for one of my friends and even pulled the seat closer to him, some other girls were standing too but he only offered the seat to her and like was really nice to her. Then another time he named his first aid dummy another girl's name and ik this doesn't all sound super romantic, but they were really "bold" advances and some of the girls at camp agreed

I've engaged in conversation with him but I can tell he likes to talk to the other girls better and that whole ignoring thing was just so fucking embarrassing.

Also keep in mind everyone in my class is Asian but me, specifically the class is mostly Chinese. (No hate to Chinese people)

Sorry if it seems like I'm overreacting but I really feel like he wouldn't have acted that way if I was someone else

In the past I've had a lot of personality issues, like I've not always been the kindest person. I'm still not but I'm a lot better than I was back then, a lot of guys hated me back then and I really still think it was cus

1. I'm not conventionally attractive

2. I'm decently smart/high achieving in academics

3. I'm black, loud & opinionated

The attractive thing really plays a part cus the girls at my summer camp people showed interest in are extremely loud and rude. And I'm sorry if that sounds like a pick me thing but gosh there were a lot of moments I hoped they'd calm down and shush a lil bit

they were really nice to me and appreciate that a lot, they just openly talked shit about a lot of people

one girl would loudly talk about how she homewrecked a couple cus she thought the guy was too hot for the girl. The other would talk about she hated ppl who didn't have symmetrical faces and they were still desired by guys (maybe not the second one cus she was not really the standard beauty anyway, but that still proves my point)

so if they are desired when they r bitchy & loud? why can't I????

cus I'm black lol.

My bitchy was a lot different kind of bitchy, like not to justify it but my main issue was being very judgemental and always calling out racism. Ik the calling out racism doesn't sound bad but I just did it all the wrong ways, I'd legit curse people out and report them to teachers.

I was just an angry preteen but I really regret the way I went about justice back then, I've honestly learnt just to accept the racism cus ppl my age especially guys will never change their racist ways and If I fight back everyone's gonna hate me

sometimes I do set boundaries but arguing is not worth it anymore.

Don't forget I was also very judgemental. it's a bad habit of mine but sometimes stupid people really piss me off...

Another thing that contributed to why I was so hated was cus I was a smart black girl in a predominantly Asian school (grd 6&7 yr) I really didn't notice the racism from the Asians for a long time until one of them started being really forward about it and it suddenly made sense why I was excluded and didn't have too many friends when I moved to the school despite the fact I was very extroverted.

There was this one chinese guy in that particular class he questioned why I was so unathletic when I was black and why I was good at math

Cus apparently black people can't be good at math and suck at basketball. There was only really one other student who was openly (there were some undercover nerds imo) dominating academics as much as I was in that class and the guys would often use that against me and claim he was smarter than me

the funny thing is that the guy was really humble and did not care, but his insecure friends weaponized it so much.

I still would orather be in an Asian predominant school than white though. Cus in my grade 7 school and current highschool, white people are the minority but I can confidently tell you they are the most open about their racism cus they can get away with it (most of the teachers in my country r white)

After moving away from that school (the grd 6&7 school) to an even worse school, I made friends with the new kid that came after I left the school.

We were somewhat close online and we'd have friendly academic competition, even though we were in different schools. I apparently found out he had been leaking my grades to the boys at his school, even though he knew they hated me and would do anything to see my academic downfall

and I was just so devastated

anyways, I've gone a lil off topic but it all comes down to the point that things would have been majorly different in any school I've been too, if I was their type.

A lot of my past guy crushes or even just guys I've found attractive, hated/disliked me or just found me plain annoying.

At first I used to entirely blame them and everyone around me. Nowadays, I try to recognize the fault in my own actions and work to fix that. I'm not perfect, sometimes I slip in a few insults to men when they piss me off even the slightest bit.

Then I go ahead and overthink it for a little bit, then heavily regret my actions.

I've done that a few times at camp, like I'm cautious of the way I act and the stuff I say now cus I really don't want another class hating me.

It hurts knowing whatever I do will never be enough and any slight mistake I make will be their final impression of me.

In my current high school, I have a decent amount of male friends but they r the kind that are only friends with girls they are not attracted to. Which like I said is not a bad thing but sometimes really degrading cus I don't think they see me as a woman. Also I think my male friends are mostly there for homework answers but whatever lol.

But it's much preferable than to have so many guys hating on you lol, I don't feel male validation but I also don't want male hate.

[h4rring1on]

day 1 of asking for part 2 of reader walking in on eddie nd chrissy doing the devils tango

warnings: swearing, some sexual scenes, eddie getting the bitchy karma he deserves, idk what else but please tell me !!

it had been almost a week since the whole eddie thing, you loved eddie, and you didn’t leave the house for about 2 days. but once they ended, all that consumed you was anger.

anger.

you needed revenge, you needed to show that prick that he can’t just cheat on you and expect to just live life. no. you wanted him to feel pain. to feel hurt, to feel so confused, to just be completely ruined.

you wanted him to cry himself to sleep everyday thinking about you, you wanted him to think of you when he had sex with chrissy, you wanted him to think about that moment where you walked in and realized what was going on.

you wanted to play with his head. to make him pay. and what else than by being with one of his worst enemies.

eddie didn’t really hate jason, sure he was annoying, but it was just playful hate. who he really hated was steve, perfect steve, ladies man steve, steve the hair harrington, the steve.

you gotwith steve, steve. the ‘you don’t have to worry about him’ steve. yes, that steve. he was pretty easy, you already knew he was all over you, but you never told eddie because he’d obviously think something was going on.

but who cares now?

even though steve liked you, he was still your friend, so when he came over to make sure you’re okay after everything, you stared at him like you never have before. like something in you just clicked, and before you knew it, you were kissing him and it lead to more

eddie hadn’t seen you in a while, and he still loved you. but you demanded a box of your stuff sent to your house, he sadly looked at the box, memories filled these items.

when you didn’t answer, he thought something happened to you. so when he walked in, he heard unusual sounds, he walked into your bedroom and froze

he saw the two of you, naked. you were moaning uncontrollably as steve pounded you from the back, he slid his hand down to your pussy, and circled your clit, making you shake

eddie couldn’t even say anything, he walked out of the room and dropped the stuff at the front door, tears brimming in his eyes. you were with steve. steve was making you feel good, way better than eddie that’s for sure.

a few days later, he went to family video to rent a movie that could help him forget about you, when he walked in, he saw you sitting on the counter, with your legs wrapped around steve’s waist, a smile on your face as he kept whispering sweet nothings in your ear

eddie heard your giggle and that was it for him. that’s when he finally truly knew. he lost you, and he clearly wasn’t gonna get you back again. you were never gonna be seen with him again. he walked out and didn’t bother coming back again.

as for you, sure, it started with just getting eddie back, but steve wasn’t what you imagined at all. everyone called him a player, but he was the sweetest person ever, and he treated you way better than eddie. he’d give you flowers, chocolates, free movies, and he’d comfort you much better than eddie.

not to mention the sex because that’s a whole other thing. you couldn’t bare to be a liar like eddie, so when things were going really great with you and steve, you told him.

he wasn’t happy at first, but he was slightly happier because you said the truth, and not just that, but you stayed with him, which proved that your feelings were real.

you were happier with steve, he made you feel like the most special girl in the world, and he helped you forget the shitbird that was eddie. because that guy can kiss your ass.

a/n: I FEEL LIKE I DISAPPOINTED EVERYONE BC IT WASNT WHAT THEY EXPECTED :(

taglist: @eddiesange1 @mega-fandoms-everythingrock @soph69420world @saintomie

@druigsgold @salenorona23 @jmnlau @medusaslilsister @munsonbitch @crustlover

@merlieve @sylum @bibieddiesgf @starboyeddie @simp4rengoku @rat-p1ss

[jackdaw-kraai]

Jack! I need urgent assistance!

Why the fuck is it so hard to make a realistic fictional language?!

I have literally scoured the deepest, darkest places of the internet to try and understand how to make my own fictional language that is important to story but I just don’t get it.

I have watched behind the scenes Star Trek, Game of Thrones, and Avatar to try and understand how they came up with such beautiful and articulate languages but once again, came up empty, it’s like trying to explain physics to a donkey AKA me.

Can you help me? And if you can, please explain it to me like I am a dumb toddler trying to learn how to write my name for the first time?

Oof. Now, there's many conlang guides out there, but they're all for people who actually like conlanging and I, dear reader, do not. I hate conlanging, I suck at it, and analytic grammar is a consistent foe of mine that I cannot beat. But, conlanging is one of the best ways to introduce a whole heaping helping of realism to your setting as well as getting you to really think about how said setting works as you need to figure out what would have an individual word and why. Now that'll make sense in a moment, I promise.

But first...

Jack's Quick 'n Dirty Guide To Conlangs For If You Hate Conlanging

Step One: sounds.

Sounds (ha!) easy right? Weeeeeell... yes and no. Now, the easy part is making the sounds, really. Just start babbling in a way that you want your conlang to sound like and get going! Sing a bit, put on whatever accent you want, really have some fun with it until it sounds right. You got that? Good, now note that down in plain text as best as you can. Do whatever makes sense to you, but make sure you know exactly how to pronounce the sound once you've annotated it so you can reproduce it later, trust me on this one. But now comes the hard part.

Step Two: IPA

If you don't know what IPA is, bless your heart you innocent soul, you're about to learn something that will make you lose a bit of innocence today. IPA stands for the International Phonetic Alphabet and it can annotate the exact pronunciation of any words in any language in the world. If you've ever had a dictionary in front of you and you see that little section underneath the word where it's written again but like, with upside down Es and symbols that look like æ and đ and even ɮ? Congrats, you know what IPA looks like. Now, this thing was designed by some very clever people with an eye for thoroughness but not for practicality. See, it can notate every pronunciation there is, but boy oh boy, will it not make that easy for you. Read up on it anyway, learn how to use it, pull out an afternoon for it, you're gonna need it. IPA Chart is a good website that will help you out here, it's an interactive version of the IPA alphabet with short pronunciation sound clips attached to each symbol. Done all that? Good. Now we get to the really bitchy part.

Step Three: notate every funny sound you made down in IPA

Yes, every single one. Pull up an excel spreadsheet, notate the plain text in one column, a pronunciation in the second, and leave a third open for later. Notate every single word as best as you can, and make sure to save your work. This is gonna be long work, this is gonna be tedious work, and it's gonna be necessary work. You won't like it, you won't have fun, but future you will thank you and you would do anything for that bitch so get notating until you get to

Step Four: What does anything even mean????

Finally, some fun again. Now we get to the part where you get to assign meaning to each sound you've produced. Remember how I advised you to sing a little song? Yeah? Excellent. A quick and easy way to get a bunch of words sorted is to write a roughly similar song in a language that does exist and one you preferably understand already, and use that as a "guide" of what each word is "supposed" to mean. Make your own rosetta stone! Give yourself a break, trust me, it's much easier this way. And don't be afraid to get creative. See one sound or syllable you used a lot? Great, that can be a pronoun or an article or something else that's often used in a language.

Example: I liked the word "ra" a lot, so that's the word for "I" in Karilaa. From there I picked a few other words I liked and roughly hashed out the following

Ra = I

Ta = You

Su = We

Vu = They

Easy, good, simple. I don't bother with gender because fuck gender, but if you want it, go for it champ, now's the time. And you know what else I noticed while doing this? I was using "ra" and "ta" a lot in the last syllables of words, so I figured out how tenses work in my language as well in one fell swoop and made them affixes to verbs.

Really, there are no rules, so make them up to suit whatever aesthetic you want your language to have, but make sure to write everything down. No exceptions. Everything has to be written down.

Step Five: Rinse and repeat

Congrats, you now have some basics of a language! You can basically use and reuse this recipe to get More Language of the language you already have and guess what! Now you already have some language so you won't have to start from scratch! It's like a sourdough starter! Now ain't that neat. Now, if you do this and keep meticulous notes like I told you to you'll essentially be building up your own dictionary as you go, ready to consult for all your future conlanging needs.

Now, is this how good conlangers do it? No! Hell no! Absolutely not! But I'm not a good conlanger, and if you want this guide, neither are you. I'm sorry, but I'd rather you hear it from me than them when they invoke J.R.R. Tolkien's ghost to roast you. This is a guide for people who want a conlang but suck at conlanging. This is a guide for people who can't do it all neat and according to the rules but need to brute force a bitch in order to get some practical results for immediate use.

Now go forth and create!

[hotxcheeto]

How the life is strange characters would comfort you

━ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 - Chloe, Rachel, Victoria, Nathan 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - talk of stress, talk of bad homelife, cursing

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - This isn't proofread so that means its probably doodoo but I'm too lazy to check

𝐂𝐡𝐥𝐨𝐞 - If anyone gets being sad, its Chloe Price. Especially over homelife. So when you come to her, on the verge of tears and upset over a fight at home or a really crappy day, she's the first person to give you a hug.

She has trouble dealing with her own emotions though. So don't judge her if she has trouble giving super amazing advice. She definitely has trouble comforting people. But she tries and that counts. Will probably try distracting you, unless she can't. Then in comes soft Chloe, the Chloe that will sit with you and let you cry your eyes out.

- - "Shit, dude, you okay?" You nodded sadly, laying against the chair you'd dragged in a few days prior to 'lighten up' the hideout. "You don't seem okay." You shrugged, Chloe threw her head back and groaned, walking over to you. "You're a terrible liar." "Sorry." "C'mon, don't let a few douchebags ruin your day. Weren't you gonna show me that new movie."

She sat down beside you and put an arm around your shoulders looking down at your face. "Yeah." "Okay, then lets go, we can fries on the way." You thought for a moment before looking at her. "Fine, but your paying." She pretended to be annoyed but stood up, nonetheless, grabbing your hands and pulling you up. "Fine."

𝐑𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥 - She gives me strong therapist vibes. Like will sit and listen to all of your problems and try to help you solve them. Like that scene with her and Chloe in Before The Storm, where they sit in the truck and Rachel has Chloe lay down and tell her about her problems. That type of stuff.

She'd play with your hair, or have you lay your head in her lap. And she'll listen the entire time, commenting here and there but making sure you get it all out of your system. She'll give you advice the best of her ability, caught on every word you say. But she'll tease you here and there just to get you to smile.

- - "You need to stop taking on everyone else's problems, honey." "I know." You mumbled, looking up at her as she smiled running her fingers along the sides of your face. "I say, screw them." "I wish I was more like you." She stared down at you before humming.

"That's why you have me." You giggled when her nails ran along your jawline. "Thank you Rach." "Don't. You're too good looking." "Rachel.." "Sorry y/n, I don't lie."

𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚 - Is super sweet underneath all that bitchy outer layer. It sounds like I hate her but I swear I don't. She is mean on the outside to most people but never to you on purpose. She's used to listening to Nathan's issues and does have trouble with intimacy.

She of course tries her best, and will listen to you just like you do when she's complaining about her day or something in her life. She likes laying on her or your bed, resting her head on her hand while watching you talk.

The entire she's just insulting this person in her mind, like going ham on this persons entire character. Like, just imagining them falling off a cliff while also talking to you pretending like she isn't thinking about burning their house down.

She'll listen, even if you don't think she is, she is.

- - "-and then she just- she fucking looked at me like I was dumb!" You ranted on staring at the ceiling of Victoria's room. "Like, seriously?" You looked over at her, meeting her eyes while she stared down at you. "I don't know why you put up with her." "Sometimes I don't know either."

"She's a bitch. Coming from one." "Vic." You laughed slightly while turning on your side to face her. "I'm serious. She dresses like a blind mannequin." You raised an eyebrow but she spoke first. "And don't get me started on that hair."

𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 - Nathan, I love him, but he's so aggressively comforting. Like he comes off so, angry, but he's rubbing your back while doing so? Like you can cry to him, ball your eyes out, and he'll keep you close you know giving you kiss here and there.

But when I tell you he has such an aggressive tone. But not to you, to the person you're crying about. NEVER to you while you're looking for him for comfort. No, he's just pissed at whoever made you upset or stress, even schoolwork, he hates Blackwell just as much as the next person.

He understands being upset, and he's just overwhelmed that you trust him like that. Not many people do. So don't be worried or sad if it takes him a minute at first to learn how to comfort you, or talk to you when you're feeling like that. He's not dumb, he's just not used to people going to him for comfort like that.

- - "They were just so, condescending. It made me feel stupid." You laid on Nathan's chest, looking at the room that was nearly pitch black. "You're not fucking stupid. He's a dick, don't listen to that asshole." "I know."

His fingers moved up and down your arm as he listened to your shaky breathing. The dark did nothing to help, he couldn't see your face. But he could hear it, he knew you were crying.

"I swear if they fucking talk to you again like that-" "Nate, please. It's okay." His hand moved from your arm to your face, wiping a tear that was on your cheek. "It's not okay. You're not okay." "But I will be. He's dumb, like you said." He was silent, but set his hand on your head pushing you to lay back down on his chest.

"Yeah, whatever. But tell me if they do it again, okay?"

A/n: I got Olive Garden today, makes me feel bougie ;)

[aetheternity]

Can I have your number?

Synopsis: Armin’s always being asked by shy pretty girls for Eren’s number at parties to the point where when you ask for his number he doesn’t know how to respond. (Italicized words are Armin’s thoughts.)

“Why me?” Armin shrugs his cotton blue hoodie off his shoulders. Fingers grazing over the zipper in earnest contemplation. “Why don’t they ever just go right to him?” 

“I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, Armin.” Connie begins, finger tracing over the rim of his partially empty glass. “Well actually I’m not. You’re the approachable friend because Eren is so tall and sexy; and you’re puppy cute.” 

“Puppy cute.” Armin spits, eyes uncharacteristically narrowing. 

Sasha plucks the glass from Connie’s hand, “That’s enough outta you.” She huffs pulling the drink far from Connie’s reach. “Sorry Armin, it’s just cause he’s drunk.” 

“But he isn’t wrong.” He replies, Sasha sighs transitioning Connie’s glass to her free hand. She tilts her head apologetically. “He isn’t wrong.” Armin repeats, rolling his eyes. 

Just as he reaches for the glass he can’t stop nursing tonight; a tap on his shoulder stops him. “Hey um..” The girl in front of him is the same as the rest. Gorgeous. Small build fitted out in a white crop top and blue skirt like she was meant to perfectly match with Armin. Her hair was short barely making it to the nape of her neck. She shifted her weight back and forth as she looked up at Armin with pinked cheeks. 

“I really hate to bother you with this..” Then don’t. “Uh..” She steps back so Armin can look out at all the loud party goers and their raucous chatter. “You’re friends with him right?” 

Through the sea of people she manages to point right at Jean. His black vest over a brown tee shirt surprisingly easy to pinpoint as he chatted away with a couple of other guys. His black fingers nails lightly tapping the edges of his glass as he laughed away without a care in the world. Loose hairs of his mullet pulled back with two black hair pins while the rest of his hair was perfectly gelled. 

“Yeah.” Armin replied with a small roll of his eyes. 

“Do you think maybe.. I can have his number?” 

Armin suppresses the urge to snort. “Do you have a pen?” He asks

Sasha ends up being the one that hands one to him and he quickly scribbles Jean’s number onto a piece of paper. He hands it over and she responds with a quick, ‘thank you’ taking her leave as quickly as possible. 

“Woah.. Forgot how bitchy you can be when you’ve had a few.” Sasha giggles though unlike the girl from before Armin’s glare does nothing to sway her. 

“Did I forget to mention sometimes Jean’s girls come to me too?” He sighed

Connie had managed to grab a new glass while Sasha had fallen distracted. He lifted a bottle of vodka over the edge of the counter top, sloppily pouring a bit of it over his hand and onto the table before properly settling into an easy rhythm. 

“No more! I’m serious Connie, you’ve had enough and you’re starting to get vulgar.” She snatched the glass just before he could drink from it, pushing it far away from his grasp. 

“You bitch I have not!” He argues, it takes a second for him to register from the wide eyed expressions surrounding him just how loud and crass he’d been. “Alright I’m sorry.. please take me home.” 

Sasha nods, slapping Connie’s back as she inches him off the stool and to his feet, “Hey I know you’re tired of taking messages tonight but could you maybe..”

“Tell Jean you’re taking Connie home? Sure why the fuck not?” 

Armin sighs wrapping his hand around his own glass before it’s snatched from his palm, “You’ve had enough to.” Sasha points “Don’t you dare have another sip tonight.” And with that she’s stumbling through the crowd with Connie’s arm perched over her shoulder. 

When Armin stands he almost knocks the chair over. I didn’t think I had that much.. He thinks. He yanks his hoodie from where it’s drooping through the empty back of the chair, pushing the furniture back up when it falls on him. And when he’s properly standing he takes a deep breath, staggering toward the direction the girl from before had pointed in. 

Despite how dirty it is and his knowledge of such he rests his pounding skull down on the table upon arrival. The cool wood soothing his overly warm skin. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jean asks as Armin exhales gingerly 

“Shut up.” He mutters 

‘Too much bourbon I see.” Jean replies 

Armin hates it. Hates this party. Hates the noise. Hates how Jean’s nails feel so good running through his sweaty blond hair. 

“Come on, talk to me.” 

“Girls think I’m the approachable friend.” Armin replies, standing up straight using the table in front of him for support. 

“Well yeah.” Jean nods “I know but that’s just cause they don’t understand how cute, nice and charming you actually are. Those girls are missing out going to Eren when the real heartthrob is right in front of them.” 

Armin snorts, “You need to stop drinking.” 

“I figured right after I called you cute.” Jean slides his glass away turning his attention back to Armin. “ But I wasn’t lying.” 

Armin shoots up, finger out towards Jean. “At least eight girls in the three hours we’ve been here have asked about Eren. Two asked about you.” 

“Do you know the names of my two?” 

“I think it was, I don’t know and the second was I don’t care.” 

“Ouch.” Jean pressed a finger to his lip, the black nail polish accented in the strobe lighting. He pressed his chin into his palm leaning in closer to Armin. “Have you ever considered changing your hair? Maybe growing it out or cutting it more?” 

“No I-” 

The terrible clatter of glasses shook Armin and Jean from their conversation. Three girls all of whom were laughing at nothing now standing in front of them. “Hey!” One greeted 

“Hello ladies.” Jean replied back while Armin gritted his teeth. 

The girl farthest away snorted, gesturing with her hands to the girl who had spoken up to begin with. “So my friends-” She quickly slapped the third girl on the back who instantly began giggling again. “I’m sorry.” 

Jean just nodded glancing at an unamused Armin. 

“You know him right?” The first girl tried immediately covering her mouth as though she’d said something completely foul. She pointed across the room at Eren who seemed completely unresponsive to a one sided conversation with a random girl. 

“Starting to wish I didn’t..” 

“Huh?!” Yelled the third girl 

“No, no..” The second girl began “It’s just cause these two like him.” The entire gaggle burst into loud giggles. All three of them pushing their hair away from their eyes and bouncing around like small children. 

When the agitating screeching died down the second girl added “We wanna see who he likes best.” She finished 

“Is he seeing anyone?” The first girl chimed in

“Not that I know of.” Armin answered 

“Do you have his number?” The third girl asked 

“I have it.” Jean responded before Armin could even create the sentence in his head. 

Jean promptly jotted the number down giving it to the first girl who didn’t hesitate in snatching it from his hand and heading off. The second girl behind her soon followed by the only one from the group that didn’t leave their manners at home. The third girl smiling with an appreciative farewell. 

Jean made a small noise in his throat, turning back to Armin with the nail of his thumb pressed under his teeth. “Maybe you should go home?.. You know what I’ll leave with you.” 

“Jean, no offense but I don’t want pity.” 

“When do you think Eren is gonna wanna leave?” 

“I don’t know.” He huffed “I’m gonna go use the bathroom.” 

He didn’t wait for Jean’s reply just grabbed his once discarded hoodie and headed through the mess of drunk partygoers towards the bathroom. He didn’t even need to actually use it. Just wanted to be out of sight of all the stupid drunk girls vying for Eren’s affections. Not even realizing that tissue has touched Eren longer than any of them will. 

The bathroom door was closed and maybe that was a good thing because it wasn’t extremely likely that Armin wouldn’t stay in there for a couple hours after the night he’s endured. He lets out a long exhale hunting around for his phone. Blond hair sticking up as he slumps against the wall. 

“Um hey.” Armin doesn’t even bother to look up. “Is someone in there?” 

“Yup.” He grunts 

Armin notes the slight shift in the person in front of him. He looks up completely unsurprised by the fleeting glance, the hands crossed behind their back and head bowed. 

“Ok.” The girl begins but by this point Armin’s attention is redirected to his phone  “My name is Y/N, I wanted to ask you if maybe I could have your number?” 

Armin blinks expression completely unchanged as she hands over her phone. He lets his eyes roll around in his head taking the device and robotically typing in Eren’s number in contacts. When he gives it back to her she lets out a little squeak of excitement. 

“I’ll call you!” She calls before running off 

Wait..  Gears turn like clockwork in his brain. Slowly but surely the situation dawns on him. His number???? Did a girl? Particularly one as cute as her ask for his number?? 

Granted he’d only seen her for a couple seconds but she was most certainly the most put together girl that had approached him tonight. Clothes neat and tidy. No flopping around like a fish out of water at any point during the conversation. Hair done in a ponytail that wasn’t begging for release from its confines. 

And he’d given her Eren’s number.. 

Shit! 

Safe to say Armin bolted. Back down the hall, leaping up to search over the crowding heads all around. Successfully getting weird stares but that was beyond his problems at the moment. Once he’d decided that she wasn’t anywhere around he sprinted through out the door and towards the stairs. 

“Wait! Wait! Wait!” He called, hearing the sound of footsteps. 

His heart collided with his ribcage, loud stomps ensuing as he sprinted around the bend at the bottom of the staircase. She was in his sights, her head turning and eyes making contact with his and just as soon his foot slipped. Body colliding with the first stair, then the second and so on till he’d successfully finished rolling down the entire flight. Slamming into the wall with a hard thud. 

“Oh my god Armin!” She settled onto her knees, reaching out for his face. Delicate palms brushing over his sore cheeks. “Are you ok? Never mind, stupid question, let me call an ambulance.” 

Blond lashes slowly fluttered close then open as she moved to pull her phone from her pocket. “Before you do.” Armin panted still working to catch his breath. “Can I give you my number? For real this time?”  

Ok so this is unedited because I think writers block is trying to take me and I’m trying my hardest to keep it at bay. I have like 5 things in the works at the moment so I really don’t need that.       

[heytherejulietx]

Jughead and teasing for the drabbles 😁

1k sleepover.

jughead - teasing.

a/n - thank you for sending this in love i hope you have a lovely day. 🤍🥰

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as jughead got more and more involved with the serpents, y/n saw him less and less, until she only could ever see him if she walked an hour across town to visit him at his trailer. they used to see each other every day at school, and on weekends when he’d climb in through her window to stay the night with her. now she was lucky if she even saw him once a week.

so on friday after a particularly stressful day at school she made a lie to her parents about staying at betty’s (because there was no way she’d be allowed to walk to the south side on her own) and headed over to the trailer with plans on staying there for the weekend. jughead had given her the spare key to the trailer when he’d moved so after the hour’s walk she just let herself in, though sighed when nobody was there.

it was another two hours before he even got back, and in that time she’d stolen some of his food (in her defence she could have died of starvation), grabbed one of his jumpers from his bedroom to wear, and curled up on his couch with the tv on. just as she was about halfway through the second movie she had put on the rumble of a motorbike outside dominated the sound and she turned to look out of the window with a smile. he was there. finally.

as he’d unlocked the door and stepped inside, she stood from the sofa, and she couldn’t help but be warmed by the smile that grew across his face when he saw her. she missed seeing him more often.

“hey,” jughead smiled widely as he dropped his helmet onto the coffee table, his bag dropping from his shoulder to follow it. “what’re you doing here?”

“i wanted to come and surprise you, it’s been a while since i stayed over.” y/n smiled, giggling when he pulled her into his arms in a tight embrace. she let herself relax in his hold, gripping onto him as she enjoyed the moment. the leather of his jacket was cold and unusual, but she ignored the feeling of it as she held herself against him. he was still her boyfriend, serpent or not.

jughead leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head and she smiled softly as his arms tightened slightly around her. “have you been waiting long?”

“like two hours.” y/n answered and she heard him sigh.

“sorry, if i’d have known i’d have gotten here sooner. i was with toni.” he responded, and y/n had to roll her eyes.

of course he was with toni. most of what she heard nowadays was about toni. she hadn’t even met the girl and yet she hated her. y/n by no means thought that jughead would cheat on her, but she was scared that maybe this toni was better for him than she was. she sounded exactly like his type; they had the same interests and went to the same school - she even had pink hair. she didn’t want jughead to realise that he could have better and leave her. she was scared they were going to drift apart.

“that’s okay, you’re here now.” y/n smiled and leaned up to kiss him for a moment, her hand against his cheek as he pulled her closer with an arm around her waist.

once jughead had gotten changed into something more comfortable and they had eaten dinner - y/n had managed to find two cans of ravioli and made some toast to go with it - they had decided to put on a movie since neither of them were tired yet. plus, y/n really wanted to make the most of the time she spent with him, as it could be a while until they got a night together again.

not even ten minutes into the movie that had been chosen - zodiac - jughead had turned to her as his arm tightened around her waist a little. “funny, i was talking to toni about this movie earlier.”

y/n couldn’t keep in the annoyed sigh at the mention of the first as she rolled her eyes, and moved his arm from around her waist as she moved to stand up, planning on escaping under the excuse of needing a drink to keep from showing how actually annoyed she was. that was the fourth time toni had been mentioned that evening, and she was honestly sick of it.

“what?” jughead asked as he looked up at her.

“nothing,” y/n huffed, attempting to step over jughead’s legs which were stretched out to rest his feet on the coffee table in front of the sofa, though before she could he reached forwards and grabbed her legs so he could pull her to sit in his lap with a protesting grunt from y/n. “jug i want a drink.”

“why are you so annoyed?” he asked with an eyebrow cocked upwards, and she didn’t hold back her glare that time at his question.

“you’ve mentioned toni four times this evening, you know that?” y/n scowled and crossed her arms.

“what?” jughead asked again, before a look of realisation flashed onto his expression and he smirked a little. “oh, i get it. you’re jealous.” he teased.

the teasing only made y/n’s glare more prominent and she shook her head. “i’m not jealous.”

“yes you are. you so are,” jughead laughed, his hands at her hips to keep her pulled down as she attempted to stand up again. “see? look at your face.”

“i’m gonna punch you in your face in a minute.” y/n warned, though the threat was practically ignored by jughead as his arms wrapped around her waist to pull her closer.

“don’t be jealous, baby. you’re still my number one.” he still looked entertained as he spoke teasingly again, so y/n leaned back as he moved to kiss her, still glaring at him as she lightly smacked his chest with her hand.

“don’t call me your number one,” she mimicked his voice. “and i’m not jealous, for fuck sake. but you see toni all the time and you never see me, and when we are together it’s toni this and toni that. i don’t care about toni, i want to spend time with you. you might as well be dating her instead if you’re so obsessed with her.” y/n crossed her arms again, not reacting as jughead pulled her close once more, his expression softening a little.

“i don’t want to date toni, love,” jughead’s voice was serious as he spoke, and she didn’t pull away when his hand moved to her cheek, though she didn’t relax either. “i’m sorry, i didn’t know it was bothering you so much. toni is one of my only friends over here, but she’s nothing more than that. i love you. not toni.”

y/n was still scowling even after he’d spoken, though she didn’t pull away as jughead pulled her into a hug, and after a moment sighed as she wrapped her arms back around him. she did feel a little better hearing it from him. though she still didn’t like toni at all. “okay,” she said quietly, letting her eyes close as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “sorry.”

“don’t apologise,” jughead mumbled into her hair as he dropped a kiss to her temple. “it was entertaining seeing you so jealous-“

before he’d even finished the sentence y/n huffed and moved to stand up again, though his arms tightened around her waist to hold her in place as he laughed.

“i’m joking i’m joking,” he chuckled as he held her closer, though grunted quietly as her elbow came in contact with his ribs harsher than she would usually nudge him. “guess i deserved that, huh?”

“yeah you did.” y/n mumbled, though she had relaxed against him again, completely forgetting about the movie and almost forgetting about how annoyed she was at toni. almost.

[funkymbtifiction]

What are your thoughts on the show Becoming Elizabeth?

Apologies to anyone who liked it, because I'm gonna rant. I guess I will go by character.

It's the first time an Elizabeth has been an absolute snooze for me. I don't know if it's how she's written (a moody, irresponsible brat) or the actress being bland with a whiny voice, but I hated her almost as much as I hated her brother Edward. Young Elizabeth was intelligent, cunning, and far-sighted, but this one is immature, selfish, and dull. I knew they were going to go the repulsive route of having her fall in love with her molester, but those scenes were still "cringe" to watch. (I wish they had cast someone younger -- Elizabeth was 14 when Thomas Seymour was preying on her and she looks "mature"). That episode where she's freaking out because she might be knocked up was just... ugh.

Edward. OMG. I hated this kid, which is to say -- excellent job! He's just as much of an obnoxious fanatic as the real boy was and if he had lived, he would have been every inch the tyrant that his dad was, only in moralistic, "I'm gonna not let anyone worship as they please, it's my way or else." IRL, he really did upset Mary so much she left the court in tears and he was known for being a bully. I was on the fence about him, but after his hawk-abuse, I can't wait for him to die.

Lady Jane deserves better. They make her pitiable in one scene and then bitchy in the next, but overall she was barely there. We did get a glimpse of what an absolute a-hole her parents were, though. :(

Thomas Seymour. ToTaL Creep. I can't figure out what he wants; and he's this weird blend of obnoxious, innocent, inappropriate, cautious, and stupid. I had the hardest time figuring out his Enneagram type. He seems passive next to Catherine Parr, who by the way, is given an absolute hatchet job. This emasculating, promiscuous shrew is not the woman who wrote an impassioned book on religion -- the only one of Henry's wives to be a Reformist in her own right. WHY.

Edward Seymour. 100% top notch, though why did they change the reason for his execution?? I actually felt the sorriest for him, because he seems the most reasonable. He showed the best Te/Fi use as well -- in terms of "I am not gonna force people to worship the same way I do, that's stupid, let Mary keep her beliefs." That's good Fi, right there. And half the time I agreed with his "WTF are you doing, Tomas?!?? Are you an idiot???" reactions. (Yes, yes he is.)

Mary I. PERFECTION. Like, they got her absolutely right -- her flaws and her virtues. I would love to watch the series again but only sit through her scenes. She stole every moment she was there. She's sympathetic but also shows flickers of Mary's dark side in her own budding fanaticism. It's nice to see more empathetic portrayals of her these days -- I just wish we didn't have to vilify other historical figures in the process. Strong and opinionated but also careful and smart. I did roll my eyes when she told Elizabeth "you are probably cleverer than me" because so far, nope. Mary is the one who knows how to navigate court politics!

Stop telling me Elizabeth is smart and showing me how stupid she is.

On a personal note, I got sick of the f-words. I want intelligent and provocative dialogue like what's found in Anne of the Thousand Days, not for Elizabethan characters to sound like punks. The costumes were pretty, the music was good. Do I want another season? Eh. I do, if only to see more of Mary and Lady Jane and to see Edward die and figure out if they can get me to like Elizabeth, because so far... nope.

[sly-merlin]

KILLING ME- 14

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre : (fluff)  angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au.

warnings of this chapter : cursing, mention of drugs, character death.

words : ~4k

summary :

“life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

or            

“ curiousity got the cat hitched”

K.M masterlist

K.M 13

TAGLIST : @kpop-choco @moon-yuta @kawaiiayasan @btm-taeyong @exfolitae @lanadreamie @cheersskznct ​​ @hyuckiesgf ​​ @theworld-accordingtocasey ​​@simplybree

@yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator   @minejungwoo @leesalts @mal-nakamoto23 @ro2424 @itlittlefangirl @nctzens-world @bl–ankhaeji @jeaneteflo @nuoyii @bralessmermaid @minhoseyeliner @tyongpoetry @swimmingkpopblog @jkjkseo @orphicmoon @floralescapes

A/N : this chapter marks the celebration of this blog surpassing 600 followers! thank you so much for all the support! also for minor readers, the sfw versions of nsfw chapters are given at the end of the masterlist so check those properly before reading.

•••••••••••••

y/n! Are you sleeping?”

Registering his words, you replied in a groggy voice,“What the fuck do you want?”

“Your phone. I left mine in the medical room. I need to call Mark right now.” with some authority, he spoke.

Whining loudly, you fell back on the bed. It was only due but flailing your arms and legs like a kid in a toy store, you let out a screech full of annoyance, cursing your fate.

Were you really going to babysit him now?

"Have you suddenly lost your hearing? Stop with this sick attitude and open the door."

A puff of air left your nose, your chest moved rhythmically with your stomach and you relaxed your arms beneath your head, eyes fixed at the fan above and ears ringing with his voice. He kept calling you and after a number of shouts, you started humming to distract yourself, afraid that you'd end up helping him otherwise. That was something, naturally, you were not interested in. Last time he had ignored your voice and now nature had presented you with an opportunity to return the favour. Just with a bit less flavour.

"Are you dead?"

"Hmmm. To you, yes I am." Mumbling, you yawned and pushed yourself up to reach your side table and fishing out your earphones from the bottom drawer, you untangled them and fixed them comfortably in your ear, hiding yourself underneath the sheets.

Sonata no.14 instantly transported you away from the noise and the stress that was your unwanted husband, yuta. The smile playing on your lips widened as you realised that you were his only mode of communication at the moment.

But You were going for a nap. Until then, he could wait. And thrash. And cry. Or die.

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you rotated the handle of the door to walk outside but your little trip was interrupted when your body collided straight into a wall. No. The obstruction was too soft for a wall.

Opening your eyes properly, you saw yuta standing stiff. Surprised at the sudden appearance, you immediately stumbled back and in hurry, hit your spine on the wooden door. The glare of his eyes, that always spoke more than you could comprehend, coupled with a clenched jaw, was not a very pleasant sight for sure yet you found it harder to dart your own eyes away from him.

"Your phone" he seethed, breathing deeply.

"Huh?" You croaked out.

He raised his brow and in an instant, the previous scenario played like a short movie in your head. Snapping your head down, you regarded his leg with pity. He obviously noticed it immediately but seemed to ignore it and refrained from saying anything. Good for you, you thought.

"Are you deaf?"

Your furrowed brows met his eyes and with a roll of his own, he picked up his finger to force his demand but you managed to walk back inside your room before he could've done that.

Your back faced him as you contemplated your options while slowly stretching your arm to reach for your phone on the other side of the bed.

should you even be giving him your phone?

You had more trust in Taeyong than the man you shared a roof with so there was no way you were doing that.

Unbeknownst to you, yuta was watching your movements intently and the way you bobbed your head, he knew you were scheming something so he decided to be polite for a moment. Only until you were needed. Or your phone was needed.

Once the phone was in your hand, another thought crossed your mind.

"Wait. Where is the house phone?" Crossing your arms, you asked him slyly, already knowing the answer

"You fucking never got it installed. It's still in its stupid package" he seemed rather impatient.

"And you could've called reception through the door telecom. He would have phoned Mark for you. These rich apartments certainly have more hospitality tha-

"I CAN'T GO AROUND DISTRIBUTING AN UNDERGROUND CRIMINAL'S CONTACT NUMBER TO EVERYONE"

He inhaled and exhaled and you just watched until he opened his eyes again, hand reaching out to you.

"Chill. I've every right to be sceptic especially when you are the one asking for it."

Finding Mark's number on your phone, you called him.

Yuta's hand threaded through his rough hair as he noticed what you were trying to do.

"Hey mark!" Your chirpy voice resounded in the room and yuta was sure this was some different spirit speaking. You sounded too bubbly for the way you were investigating him just a second ago.

"Yes yes. His phone exactly.i don't trust him enough to hand over my phone so that's why I'm calling you myself. Just hurry up if you can or you might have to clean up a dead body in the next few hours."

With that you cut the phone. Without meeting yuta's gaze and resting your hand on the handle, you mumbled,

"He'll be here in an hour."

You were about to close the door when he stopped it with the palm of his hand, alerting you with the force.

"Tell him to get some food too."

And limping, he retired back, to the couches.

Sighing, you messaged mark. Had it been for something else, you'd have ignored but your own stomach had signalled you that it needed some good food so you chose not to fight against your own body.

Now, only the taste of the food could decide how many days you were going to tolerate that barbaric human.

"Are you still going to that stupid internship?" Johnny hesitantly murmured from your desk chair while taking big bites from the plate.

"It's not stupid please! I’m just waiting for them to actually pay attention to my awesome capabilities so they can transfer me to the main branch. This is not bad either but”, you stopped to lick your forefinger and tasting the sauce, continued, “but I really wanna go into the criminal unit. That’s where the actual fun is. As long as i’m being paid decently, i’ll suffer with the stupid research work here.”

“With the tongue as sharp as yours, I think you should be getting ready for a demotion instead” he laughed, showing you his fake bunny teeth in the most annoying and childish way.

“Ha ha ha ha. Some well wisher you are! Thank you so much for looking out for me but I'll be fine. Who knows the gatekeeper’s pay package is more than me. So it’d be a win-win in that case too I guess?” when you did a drum roll with your chopsticks to stress upon your point, he laughed harder.

"So being broke is the new black?" Rolling his eyes, he dragged out, "I swear you kids don't know how this world works."

"And you, grandpa of the century, knows?"

"I'm aware of what I need for my survival and from what I've learnt, you can either take risks or look for job security. In your case, " he fake coughed, "where the proportions of risk taking have already exceeded the acceptable limit, a job security is the best and safest option to choose."

"And that would justify my greed and desire to work for the biggest company of this city."

"Kun. The security you need and the independence you seek would be given by kun. Chois are hmm how to say? Cheap? Yeh cheap. They have no work ethics. "

"Have you worked with them, johnny?"

"No. I'm ju-

"Then was your ex a choi?" You saw his eyes comically and cutely widening at your remark.

"No. My ex wasn't a choi and that's not what I'm saying and you know that."

"Oh. So your ex wasn't a choi. Then a lee? Kim? Im? Oh my god! Look at your cheeks seo!" You dragged out. He shook his head as you kept wiggling your brows at him.

"She was a kim but that doesn't mean I would hate all kims dude. That's baseless and stop ignoring the topic. I want you to apply in Kuns. It's the best option. Do it as soon as you-

"Yeah yeah we'll see about that. First take that bitch back. I can't even nap in his presence. "

"Umm. Yeah. You gotta tolerate him. And besides he's injured. Injured yuta is like a gun without a bullet. He's gonna shout for a day or two and then peace out. He'll be sleeping and reading in his room and you won't even know if he's alive or not."

"Now that's bullshit. What is he going to do here anyway? I hope he can hop himself on one leg because even if the sun rises from the north, I am not going to do a single task for him. He can die hungry , for all I care.”

“Do you think you can endure him for some tasty dinners?”

Clicking your tongue, you quipped, “Do you really think you can buy me with a few homemade meals?”

Day 1

Yes. you were sold. The moment the tasty noodles had melted in your mouth, you knew you had no dignity. And you were indeed ashamed of yourself.

Earlier, Renjun had called you to inform you that he had delivered the food and medicines for yuta and had left your dinner box but he had failed to mention the special and endearing note that was pasted on the glass box. In the curvy letters, it read bitchy piglet and you swore the only person you’d be killing before yuta would be jaehyun. But you were going to use jaehyun to build up your tolerance instead.

When you went out to clean your dishes, he was playing some game on his phone, excitement evident from the way he was laughing every other second. Maybe if he remained occupied, he would not be so insufferable.

Day 3

"Oyii! Oyii!"

No. You were wrong. He was very very much insufferable.

At midnight, his voice echoed, disturbing your sleep. You cursed at the cool atmosphere that had prevented you from using the air con which otherwise would have blocked his annoying screeches. But it seemed like bad luck wanted to change its name to y/n instead. With your name being called like a broken record, it was a fight between you and him that you were not going to lose. Shuffling to your side, you covered your ears with the other pillow and tried to drown out the annoyingly demanding and hoarse voice. There was no way you were giving him the satisfaction of having any power over you. He could cry for all he liked!

“What the fuck do you want at this hour?”

Attempting a glare at him through sleepy lids, you spewed with irritation. Unlike you, he was very much awake, breathing with the sole purpose of making you question your whole existence.

“Pillow” scratching his non-existent beard, he mumbled.

Your nostrils flared and jaw clenched at such inconvenient command.

“You summoned me for a pillow? A pillow that can normally be found on a person’s bed? Can you please rectify your demand or did I just simply hear something wrong?”

The opened curtains and the moonlight that drenched the room was the only source that illuminated his face for you and even with drooping eyes, you could see how serious he was and yet you couldn't hold your tongue back because he simply deserved every shit you bestowed him with.

“Turn the lights on and count the pillows on my bed! And when you are done, get me some pillows from your room.” he simply stated.

“Why should i give you my pillow? I need them!”

“Because I don't use a pillow and I need it asap!”

“Then why do you suddenly need one? To disturb my sleep? Oh that makes sense.” and suddenly, your eyes had synced with your body to side with your fight mode.

“I need them for elevating my leg. The bandage is too tight and it’s not comfortable.”

“Then why don't you walk out of the room and get some cushions for yourself!” you raised your volume.

“Because my leg is in pain and i’m unable to get up? What makes you think I'm dying to see your ugly face at this time of the night. I dont wanna have nightmares of you as well but i can't help it ok!”

“you should have kept them near you. And who are you calling ugly hmm? You poop fac-

“Okay scream for all you want! But get me a pillow when your battery dies down!”

“What the fuck d- are you covering your ears? Wow ways to be generous!”

Stomping your foot, you left the room to get the hardest cushion on the couch.

“Here! Next time call Mark if you want anything. Don’t raise your voice ever again to call me because unlike you, i have work in the morning and hence I need some sleep..”

Just when you were about to leave after shoving the cushion in his hand, he spoke up again,

“This is damn hard! I asked for your pillow specifically and not th- AHH!”

A scream left him as you harshly removed the support , leaving his leg to painfully meet the mattress.

“How about you fix your attitude before fixing your leg?” suggesting, you dropped the cushion on the floor and left.

He didn't call you after that. Nor that you cared. However, the sleep in your eyes somehow vanished. Dancing on your sides didn’t help. Neither did drinking a glass of water. So, with a groan, you listened to your conscience and picked up your extra pillow that was sadly too perfect for your enemy.

Padding to his room, you tried your best to scrutinise and hearing his heavy snores, you placed the pillow right under his thigh and the cushion under his calf. Scoffing at his sleeping figure, you internally groaned to remind yourself that you hadn't done it for him. It was just a debt. For the blanket he had once covered you with. Nothing more and nothing less.

Day 5

You just wanted him out of your hair. He was just being a load on your head. At first, only the work was kicking your ass, then jungwoo was kicking you like a punching bag for an hour straight and adding to your distress was yuta.

"I'm not your maid! Stop piling up the dishes for me. I've had enough mercy on you. From today onwards, get a cleaner for yourself or buy disposable cutlery. I'm not going to clean after you!"

With a roll of his eyes, he had ignored you.

And so did you. Pasting a warning note on the sink tap, you had left for the library with a dying hope that maybe the kitchen would be spotless on your arrival or you'd be dialing some numbers in the evening.

For someone who despised the solemn atmosphere of libraries, you had successfully spent 11 hours in the said hellish room. It was 11 p.m and you wanted to sleep, more than anything but here you were, waiting for yugyeom so he'd just pick you up for a good drinking session that you were dying to have.

Fortunately, you weren't the only one who had missed living these past days. Everyone, for different reasons, was suffering so you felt a little less bad for yourself even though you knew your troubles were far more grave than their academic burdens.

"Wake up shorts" someone whispered in your ear. Squirming on your seat, you whipped your head in your sleepy state and found jungkook caressing your head, goofily smiling at you.

"I thought you wanted to hang out till the next morning" air quoting the last words, he picked up your bag.

"Yeah. Let's go. I'm all ready for a night full of vodkas." You yawned out.

"Definitely. No. You are going home. We can have a small get together me and yuggy are done with our final project." He dragged you out into the parking lot.

" I feel like it's been years since we got drunk together. You are never here anymore!" You whined at him, complaining your heart out.

"I will be. Soon. Then we can celebrate your little choi job as well."

"Oh please. Don't even mention it. If I had penny for every time they rolled their eyes at me, I'd be richer than your parents kook." You huffed out and as his gentle laugh surrounded you, you closed your eyes resting your back against the seat, expecting to be up by the time he'd park.

But the next day, you woke up tangled in the sheets of your bed, unaware of the events of the previous night.

When you had warned yuta about the dirty dishes, you hadn't expected him to fill the corners of the kitchen with disposable containers. It looked like you had missed a whole drama while sleeping in the library. The kitchen was shining except for the new utensils. But as long as you were not babysitting him, you were fine with anything. You didn't want to jinx your relief, however, you were glad you would be able to get some work done. finally.

You had spoken too early for your own good. Just when you sat down to write your paper, passionate and enthusiastic howls of that man pierced through your earphones and once again, you opened the window and hopped outside, in the balcony, ready to drown him out. Sipping on your lemonade, you gaped at the scenery the not so distant traffic provided you with and somehow, your thoughts wandered to the only person these horns reminded you of. Johnny.

What are you doing? Your fingers hovered over the text but once again, you deleted the message, declaring it to be too childish for someone as mature as him. Maybe you were just being silly. Maybe you were not. But who was going to put a stamp on your maybe?

Tears pricked your eyes as the harsh words of your senior thundered in the room. He kept shouting and you had no option than to consume each and every word he directed at you. Even if you were being insulted in front of your twenty other co-workers, staying quiet was the best option, you ascertained. so along with your saliva, you gulped your explanations down your throat.

Howsoever unconscious, you were still in the wrong. There was no excuse as to why you had mailed the wrong bills, apart from the headache that was caused by the person possibly lying on the sofa and watching t.v back home. No matter how much you tried to run away from his existence, he had somehow managed to let himself inside your head.

Glaring at the kid who asked for his turn on the park swing, you pushed yourself a little higher, letting the wind greet your stinging eyes as it hit your face in waves. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you chose to ignore jungwoo for a day as it was the time, you decided, to let all the lessons that the past few months had taught you sink into your mind, to bleed into your soul so you won’t ever be able to deviate from them. Ever.

Only if that was so easy. You knew blaming others for your problems was no solution but trivialising them by not paying heed wasn't a smart move either.

When you reached home, your frustrations had died down. So when yuta simpered and pointed towards your empty container, telling you how he had already finished your supposed dinner, you simply rolled your eyes at him, robbing him of whatever he wanted to achieve by riling you up. Heating up the water, you were about to open the noodles packet when yeong called you.

You stared at the shattered phone screen in disbelief as the endless tears ran down your cheeks. As you verbalised the words to yourself again, your body met the floor with a thud.

Jungkook. Drugs. No more.

Three words had silenced the screeches in your head and your mind busied itself in rejecting what you had heard for it had to be a lie. But what how were you going to ignore the heart wrenching screams that yeong had let out. How were you going to dismiss the truth.

How were you all going to accept it?

••••••••••••••••

next update: Some day between 5-7 June.

[keanureevesisbae]

sugar sugar - the planning 3.0

Summary: Someone the engaged couple both didn’t expect, is coming back into their lives

Sugar Daddy!Henry Cavill x Becky Kim (asian OFC)

Warnings: Light mentions of an argument. Mentions of hospital, cock warming (it’s becoming their thing now) and some rough sex (spanking, anal play, vibrators - the whole deal)

Wordcount: 4.9k

Masterlist // Sugar Sugar Masterlist // Sugar Sugar the wedding Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

March 1st 7 p.m.

Work has been killing Henry lately. He grows more and more tired and to my own surprise, he is even in a bad mood every now and then, a rarity when it comes to Henry. He hates talking about what is bothering him and I hate having to pry.

But it has been enough. I don’t like the fact he continues to lock himself in his office at work and I decide to surprise him. He always likes surprises, especially these ones I arranged myself.

I barge into his office and I see… He is actually taking a nap? That’s new. He only takes naps at home, with his hands slipped underneath my shirt, his head resting on my chest. His eyes flutter open, ready to scold anyone who came in, until he realizes it’s just me.  ‘Thought I locked the elevator,’ he says, ‘made it unavailable.’

‘I have a surprise for you,’ I say, as I walk up to him and ignoring the fact that he might’ve made it unavailable for me as well to come up here. He probably didn’t mean it like that.

‘Okay, what is it?’

I hop on an empty corner of his desk. ‘I made reservations for us at the Plaza and afterwards, you and I can do all sorts of things in all sorts of compromising positions, if you know what I mean.’

Henry frowns, the complete opposite reaction I was expecting. ‘I can’t, baby.’

‘Why not?’ I ask him. ‘I checked your schedule and it’s all free. You have time and you should take time. You’ve been working really hard.’

‘I know, but I can’t. I have too much to do here.’

I don’t understand. He has been working non stop this week and he still doesn’t have time? He always makes time for me, for us. ‘It’s just one night, Henry,’ I try again.

‘I already told you that I can’t.’

Oh, he is in a mood? Never did he sound so… Flat and borderline annoyed when he is talking to me.

‘Oh,’ I say, not really sure how to handle this type of disappointment. ‘Sure?’

‘Damn it, Becky. Yes, I’m sure. I have tons of work to do and I cannot afford to take a break now! Some people actually have tons of work to do.’

Okay, he is mad at me now, something I totally didn’t deserve. I think I didn’t deserve it, I’m not even sure right now. Maybe this was too much? Yeah, it was too much. I shouldn’t have done that. ‘Well, excuse me for trying to do something nice for you,’ I say, sliding off his desk. ‘Good luck with work.’

‘Are you mad?’ he asks me.

He has some guts. Yes, I’m mad. ‘No, why on earth would I be?’ I ask in a petty tone, as I walk backwards towards the elevator. ‘Bye Henry, hope you finish your work.’

‘Baby, wait,’ he says, but I don’t listen. With large strides I near the elevator and get in, not even looking at him anymore. As the doors slide shut, I grab my phone and send both Genevieve and Viola a text.

Becky: You girls want to spend the evening at the Plaza?

Genevieve: Is that even a question?

Viola: When?

Becky: Thirty minutes?

Genevieve: I’ll be there in ten.

✤ ✤ ✤

Genevieve, Viola and I are sitting in the Plaza, the three of us looking over the city, as we enjoy the view. Well, they are enjoying the view. I keep on thinking about Henry. He never snaps at me like that, just like he never calls me by my name. It’s always sweetheart, darling or my favorite: baby girl. For him to call me ‘Becky’ means I did something wrong, right? Was I out of line? Should I have checked with him? I mean, surprises are meant to surprise, so I shouldn’t have told him, right?

My brain is working overtime, unable to actually enjoy hanging out with my friends.

‘Earth to Becky,’ Viola says, nudging my side. I look up from my wine glass. ‘Honey, you’re still thinking about you and Henry? It’s just a little set back, nothing too bad.’

‘Oh my,’ Genevieve says, ‘are you that disgusting type of couple that never fight? I fight with Greg all the time.’

‘We know,’ Viola butts in. ‘Come on, Gen, you know that Becky doesn’t do well with fighting. Besides, Henry is the type of man that is above pointless fights with his fiancée. Becky, what can we do for you?’

‘I don’t know. Cancel the wedding?’

Genevieve chokes on her drink. ‘For heaven’s sake, Becky, please tell me that is a joke. I swear, if you are going to cancel, I will kill you.’

I glare at her. ‘It may have been a poorly misplaced joke and a total overreaction from my side. Sorry.’

She takes a breath out of utter belief. ‘Don’t do that. I can take jokes about a lot of things, but not our wedding day.’

‘My wedding day, Gen. I’m the one getting married.’

She snorts. ‘Okay,’ she chuckles, rolling her eyes as if she cannot possibly believe that I just called it my wedding, instead of ours. ‘Anyways, I actually got a call from the bridal shop. The bridesmaids dresses are gonna be done at the end of the month, so make sure you can join us for the final fitting.’ Genevieve lets out a squeal. ‘Ah, I’m so excited. You know what comes after the wedding?’

‘Honeymoon?’ Viola and I ask.

‘Yes, that too, but also kids. I think that we should get at least once get pregnant together, because that is such a cute friendship thing for us to do.’

I don’t know if I can handle being pregnant and dealing with Gen’s hormonal mood swings, but I keep those words to myself.

‘Since our little baby factory is probably gonna have a few, Viola and I will have time enough to get it right.’

‘Do you have to call me a baby factory?’ I ask Genevieve. ‘I say once that a large family is okay for me and all of the sudden I’m a baby factory.’

‘I mean, you’re having at least two and with the way you guys are at it, there is a chance his little soldiers will find their way multiple times. One way or another.’

‘Stop talking,’ I say to Genevieve, as blood rises to my cheeks.

Viola tries to contain her laughter, but fails miserably. ‘Are you finally gonna tell her?’

Now I’m confused. ‘Tell me what?’

‘A few months back I kinda walked in on the two of you.’

Genevieve could’ve literally told me that she was gonna be president of name a country and I wouldn’t be as surprised as I am now. ‘What?’

‘Yeah, you left your keys at my place, so I figured I would bring them to you. However when I walked in, I was met with loud moans and skin slapping.’

Oh, no, I want to die.

‘It was really hilarious,’ she continues, ‘because you were on the back rest of the couch and let’s just say that you have a respectable boob size, you two kiss hella sloppy and Henry’s ass naked is delicious.’

I look at my glass of wine and gulp it all down, hoping that drinking my embarrassment and humiliation away would make the situation less awful.

It’s not working.

‘I kinda wished you never told me this,’ I mumble.

Viola finally bursts out into the loud laughter I was expecting from her a few moments ago. ‘This is gold, I wished I had this reaction on video.’

Genevieve chuckles. ‘So yeah, when I say you two are at it like bunnies, I’m not lying.’

✤ ✤ ✤

When I arrive back at the apartment, I almost forgot about the little situation Henry and I got ourselves in. Genevieve and Viola always know the exact things to tell me that makes me forget about a lot. Seeing Henry sitting on the couch, clearly beating himself up, almost makes me feel sorry for him, however I decide to be a petty bitch.

He really did hurt my feelings.

I walk straight to the kitchen and despite me hearing him follow me, I disregard my instinct and don’t turn towards him.

‘Becky,’ he says, his tone soft and slightly unsure. Him calling out my name in a tone like this, is an indication he is aware of the thin ice he is skating on.

‘Mhm?’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘What for? You were busy and I was intruding.’ I let the tea bag soak for a few moments. ‘You know, Genevieve, Viola and I had a great time together,’ I continue. ‘I arranged amazing seats at the Plaza. It had a view over the Hudson and we saw a lot of fairies.’ I know those are his favorite spots and he always tells me that one day he’ll take me on a fairy. ‘Never been on a fairy before.’ That’s a jab I knew would hurt the most. Damn, I’m awful. With the mug in my hand, I turn around, to see that Henry is looking slightly uncomfortable. ‘How was work? Did you finish it?’

He shakes his head.

Don’t say it, Becky. ‘Oh, why not?’ Damn it, Becky.

‘You serious?’ he asks. ‘We had an argument.’

‘Oh, don’t be silly, Henry. It wasn’t an argument. You were working and I had some poor planning. A small misunderstanding. Happens to all the couples some day.’

He sighs. ‘I shouldn’t have spoken to you in that tone,’ he says. ‘You were right, I could’ve needed a break. Work has been killing these last few weeks and I… I keep convincing myself I can do it all…’ He leans against the kitchen island and folds his arms. ‘Truth is, we lost some investors and I’ve been trying to rectify the situation. It’s just that it’s not working.’

Oh, I didn’t know that. Now I feel sorry for being so bitchy to him. ‘I see,’ I mumble. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I didn’t want you to worry,’ he says.

‘You understand that I can read you like a book, right?’ I ask him. ‘Henry, I’m gonna be your wife, I know when something is bothering you.’

‘I know and to take it out on you, wasn’t fair to you. I’m sorry.’

I nod, placing the mug on the counter. ‘I’m sorry too.’

‘Sorry for what?’

‘For being petty and inconsiderate of your time. I shouldn’t have just surprised you like that. I know you’re busy.’

‘But never too busy for you. You did everything right. Checked my schedules, arranged it at a time where I barely have anything to do. It was the perfect surprise. Having dinner with you at the Plaza is one of my favorite places to have dinner with you. Staring at those fairies is what we do.’ He carefully approaches, still unsure whether or not we’re on the same page. ‘You have nothing to apologize for. The only one who was at fault was me.’

I grab him by his tie and pull him in a hug, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He nuzzles his face in my neck, whispering soft apologies.

‘It’s all good,’ I say. ‘I’m sorry for being petty.’

‘No, no, no, don’t be. I deserved that one. Especially after the tone I used on you.’ He pulls back a little and presses a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. ‘How about I take you to dinner tomorrow night?’

‘Sounds good. But you have to call this time,’ I say.

Henry raises his eyebrows in surprise. ‘You made the reservations yourself?’

I nod. ‘Hence the reason I might got a little bit extra defensive.’

He smiles at me, before giving me a kiss. ‘I’m so proud of you, baby. Practice makes perfect.’

‘I know,’ I say with a soft smile on my lips. ‘We’re good again?’

‘More than good,’ he chuckles. He lifts me on the counter and stands in between my legs. ‘How was it with Genevieve and Viola?’

‘Good,’ I say, ‘just discovered that Genevieve once walked in on us having sex.’

His eyes enlarge. ‘Really?’

‘Yes, really,’ I say. ‘She told me I have a respectable boob size, we kiss sloppy and that your naked ass looks really good.’

He lets out a nervous chuckle. ‘Your boobs are perfect,’ he says and I slap him across his chest. ‘You know I can never look at her again?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ I laugh. ‘It’s nothing. She’ll just pester us with it for a while and then she finds something else to humiliate me with. Really, it’s no big deal.’

March 20th 2 p.m.

I place the groceries in the fridge, after I got back home. I actually want to plan cooking Henry some dinner so I bought all the ingredients I think I need. He always does so much for me, so it’s only fair that I’m doing it too every once in a while.

Let’s just hope I don’t fail miserably.

My phone starts to ring and I quickly pick up. ‘Hello.’

‘Good afternoon, is this Becky Kim?’ a female voice asks.

I frown. ‘Yes, this is her. Is everything alright?’

‘My name is Alicia, a nurse at NewYork-Presbyterian. I’m calling in regards of Sehun Kim.’

Dad? That Sehun Kim? Too say I’m absolutely flabbergasted is an understatement. ‘Excuse me if I come off extremely rude, but I’m sure I’m not registered as his next of kin. Isn’t there someone else to call?’

‘Well miss Kim, you are his next of kin. Your father had a ruptured appendix. Thankfully he got to the hospital in time, but his health is severely declined. We are keeping him here for a few days, to see if everything is alright.’

I lean against the sink, thinking about my next move. ‘Is there anyone with him right now?’ I ask.

‘No, miss.’

I sigh deeply. What to do, what to do? ‘I’ll be there shortly.’ When I hang up the phone, I arrange the chauffeur to drive me to the hospital and I grab some stuff I need. As I step into the elevator, I text Henry to tell him what’s going on.

Becky: My dad is in the hospital, I’m going there right now

Daddy 🥰: Darling, are you okay? Do you need anything?

Becky: I’m taking the driver. Just be there when I get home?

Daddy 🥰: Of course, baby girl. Just tell me when you need something, okay?

Becky: Will do

✤ ✤ ✤

I have been looking at my father for a few minutes now from behind the glass. He looks a lot older than I remember him. I wonder why I’m next of kin and not my mom or my siblings.  I mean, he hasn’t seen me in so long, I literally told my family I never wanted to see them anymore and that included him.

With my arms crossed in front of my chest, I hesitate whether or not I’m gonna open that door and walk into his room.

I mean, I kinda want to.

I always felt like my father and I were pretty much the same, however he never showed me how much he loved me. It always seemed easier to love my siblings than me, but maybe there were certain things that held him back.

I never asked him and now I finally have a chance.

Finally I mustered up the confidence to just do it. I open the door and walk in. He is awake and looks at me, but like usual he isn’t saying anything. It could be hurtful, but it doesn’t feel like that. I walk towards the side of the bed. ‘Are you okay?’ I ask him.

Still he is unable to talk, but I see it. I see his eyes filling with tears and for the first time in forever, I see the hurt he probably had to endure all this time.

‘Dad, please say something to me.’

‘I’m sorry, Becky,’ he then says, his voice breaking in the process. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘What for?’

‘For not standing up to you. For not being the dad you deserved, you needed.’ He rubs his eyes with his fingers and adds: ‘What kind of father allows this type of crap?’

I honestly don’t know, so all I can do is simply shrug. ‘I’m guessing mom wasn’t too kind on you either.’

He shakes his head. ‘She wasn’t.’

‘Then why didn’t you divorce her?’ I ask, in a harsher tone then I originally intended to. ‘Took me with you? We could’ve been happy, dad, just the two of us.’

‘I know, I know.’

‘Then why didn’t you do it? Why didn’t you stand up for me?’

‘Because I was scared.’ It must be so painful for him to admit it, but I rather want him being honest with me, then him dancing around the subject. He was scared and I can’t blame him for it. Mom was (and I presume still is) pretty scary and if she was mean to me, I don’t think I can even fathom what happened between her and dad.

‘But why am I next of kin?’ I ask. ‘You have Liam and Celine.’

‘They are not you,’ he says and that hits something deep in my heart. ‘I was too scared to call you and tell you how sorry I am, so I changed you to my next of kin a few months back. I know, it was weak and I’m a coward, but it was the only way I felt like I could do ever talk to you again.’

It happens before I can even stop it. I place my hand on his and at first, dad doesn’t move, but then he holds my hand tightly in his.

‘I’m sorry, Becky. I’m so sorry.’

‘I know,’ I say. ‘I know.’

‘I can’t imagine what you went through. I should’ve been there for you, I should’ve protected you.’

I don’t know what to say, so I simply grab a chair and drag it next to his bed, before taking place on it. ‘Then tell me everything you went through,’ I whisper, ‘maybe we can understand each other.’

✤ ✤ ✤

The afternoon turned into the night and it’s already seven p.m. when I arrive back the penthouse. It was both draining and very insightful. Everything I went through, my dad went through as well, for being a more shy personality, more serious and less out there. While I knew he would draw the short end of the stick when we were all together, he got it real bad when he was alone with my mom. The thing was: it didn’t stop when I moved out, when I told them I never wanted to see them again.

It only got worse.

Somehow me ending up in juvie, was his fault.

I close the door of the apartment and Henry says: ‘There you are. Baby girl, how are you?’

‘I’m okay,’ I say, though that is not quite the truth. ‘It went well.’

Henry stands up and walks over to me. ‘Glad to hear.’ He gives me a kiss, as his hands find mine. ‘Your dad is gonna be okay?’

‘Yeah, he just has to stay to see if all goes well tonight.’ I let out a deep sigh. ‘I missed him.’

He nods, allowing me to find the words to describe how I’m feeling.

‘We talked for a long while,’ I continue. ‘But I’m going back tomorrow, because I feel like we have a lot to catch up on. Wanna join me?’

‘If you want me to, I’ll happily go, you know that.’

I don’t want to cry, I think I did that enough the last few hours, however a few tears escape. ‘Daddy, can you hold me?’

He doesn’t waste a single second, before he hoists me up in his arms, holding me closely to his body. ‘I’m right here, sweetheart.’

I close my eyes, as I cling onto him. I start to sniffle, but it’s enough for Henry to be alerted.

‘Baby girl. What is it? What do you need?’

‘A hug.’

He pulls back a little and cocks an eyebrow. ‘That kind of hug?’

I nod. ‘Please?’

‘Of course.’ He carries me to the sauna, where he undoes me from my clothing and quickly shreds himself from his. We step into the hot sauna and I sit on his lap, before he starts the preparations. His hands massage my entire body, as I place my forehead against his. ‘I love you,’ he whispers against my lips.

‘I love you too.’

‘You did well today.’ He squeezes my breasts in his large hands, flicking my nipples and it’s already doing its magic trick in between my legs. ‘I’m proud of you, because it mustn’t be easy.’ He gives me a kiss, before he brings his lips to my hardened nipple, wrapping them around the sensitive nub.

I kiss him on his hairline. ‘You are?’

‘Oh baby, you have no idea.’

I reach down, grabbing his semi hard cock and rub his tip against my clit. I whimper, causing Henry to look up. He kisses me, soft and slow. ‘When you’re ready,’ he says.

I line him up near my throbbing entrance and I sink onto him, biting away the slight pain as I stretch around him. Henry rubs my clit and the pain quickly subdues. He leans back against the wall, pulling me onto his chest, his fingers drawing soft circles on my back.

I don’t know how long we are in this position, but when I open my eyes again, I feel pretty drowsy, almost like I fell asleep.

Henry is already awake, still holding me close against him, not caring that we’re both drenched in sweat. ‘Hi, baby girl,’ he whispers.

‘Hi.’

‘You were gone for quite a while. We’ve been here for an hour, or so.’

I smile. ‘I feel better, thank you.’

‘That’s good, that’s good.’ He gives me a kiss and says: ‘You look better.’

‘Daddy,’ I whisper, ‘I love you.’

‘Oh, I love you too.’

I rock my hips on his and he hums in content. ‘Fuck me,’ I beg. ‘Please do. I need it.’

‘How do you need it?’ he asks. ‘Rough? Soft? I’ll give it to you, baby girl. Just tell me what you need.’

I bite my lip. ‘I need it rough, daddy. Please, I need it rough.’

✤ ✤ ✤

When I ask for rough, I’ll get it even rougher. Henry used his tie to restrain my hands above my head, so he has his hands free to press the vibrator against my clit while he pounds himself inside of me. He is ruthless, but that is exactly what I need.

My mind is blank, as the only things I feel is being overpowered, loved and taken care of. I don’t know how many times I already came, but my sobs are quite telling.

‘You gonna cum again, baby?’

I nod, before my eyes roll back and my juices squirt passed him. Telling from his grunts, he is close as well.

‘Shit, baby girl, you feel so fucking good around me.’ He throws the vibrator to the side, tightening his grip on my hips, as I ride out my high. I’m a crying mess, tears dripping over my cheeks and that’s about the same time his hips stutter against mine, his warm seed spilled deep inside of me. He unties my hands, before giving me a sloppy kiss. ‘You okay?’ he asks, still buried inside of me.

‘I’m fine, I’m fine.’

‘You feel better?’

I smile. ‘I do, thank you, daddy. I needed that.’

He gives me a kiss on my lips and wipes away the tears. ‘You want to talk about it or not?’

‘I don’t want to talk about it. I’m just glad you helped me out here.’ I place my hands on his chest. ‘Could need a shower, though.’

‘I know,’ he chuckles. ‘How about you take a shower, I’ll clean up in here and then join you?’

‘Sounds good to me,’ I whisper. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, baby girl.’

March 21st 11 a.m.

The next day I’m back at the hospital, only this time I took Henry with me. He holds my hand in his and gives me a reassuring kiss on my fingers. ‘You want me in there with you two immediately?’ he asks me.

I don’t need to think about that for very long, because I quickly nod. ‘Of course. I actually quite need you in there.’

We stop in front of his door and I take a deep breath before knocking three times and peaking around the corner. ‘Dad,’ I say, causing him to look up from his book, ‘I’m back and brought someone.’

Henry and I step into the room and my dad nods, taking in Henry. ‘Your fiancé,’ dad says, closing his book. Yesterday I told him a lot about Henry already, especially because my dad read my interview and actually figured out how to check my Instagram. It was his own way to keep track of me and for some odd reason, I’m glad he did. He holds out his hand and Henry is quick to take it. ‘I’m Sehun, nice to meet you.’

‘My name is Henry, sir. It’s great to meet you too.’ He pulls two chairs next to dad’s bed and we both take a seat.

I take his hand into mine and say: ‘Dad, how are you feeling?’

‘Better, better.’ Dad stares at Henry and says: ‘It doesn’t take a genius to see how happy you are with each other.’

I smile, my other hand blindly searching Henry’s.

‘I also don’t need to tell you, but you need to take good care of her.’

Henry nods. ‘Don’t you worry, sir, I take good care of her.’

My dad looks up at the ceiling, tears in his eyes.

‘Dad, please,’ I say, ‘it’s all okay. We spoke about this yesterday: I don’t blame you. Not at all, not in the slightest.’

He has never been the talkative type, I know that. It pains me to see how crushed he is, how much he is beating himself up. I understand that he feels like that, however I am not mad. After yesterday’s talk I understood and realized I never wanted to be mad at him at all.

‘I don’t know if you can make it and if you even want to, but you—and you alone—can come to the wedding if you want. It’s a little short notice, I know, but Henry and I would love it if you were there.’

Dad simply nods. ‘I would love that too,’ he says in a hoarse tone. ‘Just… You have to help me with something first.’

‘And what is that?’

‘Help me arrange a divorce.’

Don’t overreact, Becky. The rush of utter euphoria fills my body. He wants to divorce my mom? After all those years? Is there an opportunity I could still have that relationship with my dad I have always secretly wanted and wished for.

I look over my shoulder to Henry, who seems to read my eyes. ‘I can arrange something with my lawyer,’ Henry says, squeezing my fingers. ‘You know what, I’ll call him right now. Maybe we can arrange something very soon.’

Henry leaves the room, holding his phone in his hand and my dad nods. ‘You have a nice fiancé,’ he says. ‘Takes good care of you.’

I smile. ‘Yeah, he does. He is the love of my life.’

Dad tilts his head. ‘You sure you want me there?’

‘Yes, I’d love to. We have an entire month to get to know each other and that of course won’t change after the wedding. We could look for an apartment for you, make sure you can start a new life.’

‘It’s a father’s job to protect and take care of his kids, not the other way around.’ He sighs deeply and says: ‘I have never taken care of you. Protected you from those vile words spilled from your mom and siblings.’

‘But you will,’ I say. ‘Please, it’s all good. Know and accept that, okay? I want to work on our relationship and that can start with an apartment when you are released from this awful place.’

For the first time he widely smiles. ‘I’m a lucky man for having a daughter like you.’

Henry enters the room again and says: ‘Well, I spoke to my lawyer and he is ready to meet you in a few days. There is a possibility he can expedite the process.’

Dad nods again. ‘Thank you, Henry. Now please sit, so I can get to know you.’

✤ ✤ ✤

When Henry and I are back in the car after hours of getting to know my father, tears finally drip over my tears. ‘Baby girl,’ he says, ‘it’s okay. You did amazing.’

‘I just don’t know why I’m crying, especially because I’m happy. I’m happy with all of this, however it’s just that… I wish there was more I could do.’

‘You are doing all you can,’ he says. ‘And your dad knows that.’

I hide my face in my hands and I feel Henry’s hand in the back of my neck. He presses a kiss on the top of my head.

‘I love you, baby girl and we’ll get through this.’