#and theyre not fucking wrong to be suspicious

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

hate when your bank's like "thats a suspicious purchase" and youre like,,, yeah, yeah it is. youre correct, but please approve it anyway.

anyway, for anyone in the uk (maybe elsewhere idk) who wants a ps5, you can get them for £429.99 plus shipping on Game today and it comes with the new fifa game and an extra product on top for free.

[jrueships]

im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐

[corknaut]

got a bad haircut yesterdayand my mom was gleefully talking on the phone today about how she and everyone else at her choir practice lied and reassured me a lot that it looked good andbcute when i came back from the salon. and the worst part is i fell for it. im a dog

[starboundsingularities]

good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder

#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess

7 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

date posted: june 23, 2010

1,834,853 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though

🧊 just--ice Follow

okay now they're just making lawyers up

#also didn't mvk die or something?

28,932 notes

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder

🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow

so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

are you gonna address the copaganda thing or

1,092 notes

🌻 attorneybout Follow

he's so. 😳

📂 trialanderror Follow

why is he defending

📂 trialanderror Follow

OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???

24,374 notes

🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow

i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all

🥜 liberdeez Follow

op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.

🔐 wrightorwrong Follow

hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

net 0 information post

#thanks again lawblr

94,834 notes

🍒 cherriescoola Follow

btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life

2,284 notes

🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow

December 28, 2016

YES!!!

702,947 notes

🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow

guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do

🔪 violencekilling Follow

you gotta let him rob you that's the law

302,948 notes

👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow

look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name

💼 courtofwaw Follow

bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late

62,193 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited

#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore

7,293 notes

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs

🌈 lawsbian Follow

the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.

12,293 notes

🔮 inhighspirits Follow

why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy

837,495 notes

💞 lawveyourself Follow

seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree

💞 lawveyourself Follow

what do you mean evidence fraud

503,893 notes

🎧 instrumentalillness Follow

fuck you *unguilties your love*

384,568 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me

[python333]

im in love with your content omg😭 your writing style is just chefs kiss

can i req a reader with the tf141 being on a mission and hearing an enemy say something in british slang and they just go "what did they just say.." in comms? like a reader who doesnt know anything about slang like not even that bars in the uk r called pubs (if im not wrong) and just nods whenever a private talks in slang, and their brain is just trying to figure out what they just said?

its just a really silly plot with a silly reader :3

pardon? — python333

— — — —

synopsis just as the req says, you know nothing about british slang and on a mission the enemy speaks british and you dont know what theyre saying :3

relationships platonic!taskforce 141 & reader.

characters cap. price, soap, ghost, gaz.

word count 2.6k

warnings 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].

note HI YES I LOVE THIS REQ!! i take every opportunity i can to make fun of british people so this is right up my alley!! tysm for the compliments hjfhdjskf recently ive been getting more praise on my works and it makes me so happy i love yall. again, sorry if this sounds a little rushed or if any parts are incoherent, i wrote this at 12/1am and im both more productive and write more nonsense at this time + this one is wayyyy shorter than ones i usually do because i didnt know what else to write for it so i apologize for that as well! this is pure fluff and humor (i like to think im funny) so enjoy!!

“—eah, and now we have to camp out here ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do it ‘imself, so I feel like we should have a chat with the others, see if they’re willing to leg it out of here with us,” An enemy soldier suggests to you, his British accent thick enough that you think it might be cockney.

You cross your arms to hide your shaking hands and nod in agreement, as if you understood anything he said, and put on the same shitty British accent you’d been using for the past five minutes you’d been talking to this guy.

“Yeah, yeah, totally,” You agree, clearing your throat before asking, “You know where the others are stationed?”

“You don’t?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you suspiciously.

“Mate, all the orders I was given went in one ear and out the other,” You sigh, holding back a wince at your desperate attempt to sound more natural using British slang, “I just know I’ve got to stand out here and shoot the enemy.”

The enemy eyes you suspiciously and he takes a moment to try and read your face before he says, “I don’t think I’ve seen you before, actually. Which would be weird, if we’re in the same platoon, don’t you—” 

You sigh and quickly pull out the small switchblade you had hanging on your belt, stabbing the enemy in the neck before he can say anything else and grabbing him before he can drop to the ground, putting a hand behind his back as you half lead half drag him into a dark alleyway beside the building he was stationed outside of. 

You quickly set him down into a sitting position and take your knife out of his throat, tucking the blade back into the handle before adjusting it to latch onto your belt once again, letting out a frustrated huff as you stare at the now dead man in front of you. 

“[c/n], how copy?” Price’s voice crackles through on your ear piece. 

You push in the PTT button and lower your voice, “Copy, I fucked up a little bit. One of the guys was onto me.”

“You were there for five bloody minutes,” Gaz’s voice rings through, his tone both disbelieving and amused, “How’d he already catch onto you?” 

“The British are smarter than I thought,” You breathe out, standing up and looking around for a ladder to climb to get to higher ground before anyone spots you. You go farther into the alley and find an old, rusty ladder with rungs that look like they’d snap if someone sneezed on them too hard—perfect for climbing up.

You wrinkle your nose as your hand makes contact with one of the rungs but don’t say anything otherwise, instead wordlessly hauling yourself up onto the ladder. 

“Reminder that there’s three British people with you, currently,” Ghost’s deadpan tone crackles, his breathing heavy, as you can tell he’s whispering into his mic, “All of which are very smart.”

“I caught you reading the instructions on a box of tea bags the other day, don’t fuckin’ talk right now,” You grumble, slowly climbing up the ladder, hating the creaking noises it makes as you do. It sounds like it’s going to snap at any minute, and you try to go up as fast as you can, but one wrong move and you’ll easily slip, some of the rust that flakes off of the ladder enough to make you slip up. 

“They were circles,” Ghost says, exasperated, “I didn’t know if that made a difference.” 

“I thought British people were supposed to know everything about tea,” You roll your eyes, putting your hand on the next rusty rung up on the ladder. 

“Yeah, L.t,” Soap agrees with you teasingly, the wind hitting his mic, making it obvious that he’s running, “Thought ye Brits were s’possed to ken everything ‘bout tea.” 

You laugh quietly to yourself as you finally make it to the top of the building, the top just high enough for you to look at the few soldiers below and hear a majority of their conversations without them noticing you.

You get to the edge of the rooftop and pull the sniper rifle you’d been carrying around off of your back, glad to finally be back in your element rather than trying to get in undercover, and set it up. 

You pull the stand out and set it on the edge of the roof, and look through the scope of the rifle, lining it up so that it’s aiming directly at one of the soldier’s heads, specifically the one that was standing directly out of the entrance you originally were meant to try and get into—but doing this didn’t change much.

Regardless of if you got in or not, he would’ve died, and the others would’ve gotten in too. You getting in first was just meant to make it more efficient.

You press down on the PTT button on your earpiece as you look through the scope of your sniper rifle, keeping the aim on the soldier in front of the entrance, “The guy in front of the entrance is just standing still, so whenever you need me to, I can shoot ‘im down.” 

“I don’t think we need to get in just yet,” Price hums, “But maybe in a minute.” “M’kay,” You hum, taking your eye away from the scope, instead just looking over at the enemy soldiers. You lay on your stomach, leaning your head down a bit to try and listen in on the enemy’s conversations easier, trying your best not to make yourself too obvious.

The conversations were pretty boring and almost the same for every soldier you’d eavesdropped on, for the most part. Enemy soldiers joking around, talking about what they’ll do once they’re on leave—like they would be able to do that after you completed your assignment—and just some general team camaraderie.

The lackluster subjects of their conversations weren’t bad at all, no, in fact, you could care less what they talk about. 

It was their stupid accents you hated. 

Are you surrounded by British people everyday? Yes. Does that stop you from hating on the British everyday? No. Okay, maybe the accents aren’t stupid, but God, they had the thickest cockney accents you’d heard in your entire life, and it was making your eavesdropping so much harder, and had almost been the reason you were given away earlier.

They used slang words that you’re certain you’ve never heard before in your life, and used analogies that didn’t even make sense—you heard one of them use the words, verbatim, ‘Don’t get stroppy’. Stroppy? Stroppy? 

You narrow your eyes down at the soldiers below you, listening to a conversation they’d just started up. 

“—eah, ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do anything about it, so now we have to camp out here and wait for somethin’ to happen,” One of the soldiers scoffs, “I’m telling you, man, if I see that skull-masked bloke runnin’ ‘round out here, I’m legging it from ‘im immediately.” 

You draw your eyebrows together in confusion, but you stay silent for now. Isn’t that exactly what the other soldier said? Are they like a hive mind or something?

“You’re legging it?” The other soldier asked, sounding almost incredulous, “What happened to you chattin’ to some of the others about your loyalty and what not?” “All that’s irrelevant when the fuckin’ grim reaper rolls around and starts murkin’ people like he’s been doing for the entirety we’ve been here, mate,” The first soldier laughs, “You think I wanna be here when he does that?” 

“Don’t act like a prat about it, man—fuckin’ talking’ like you can outrun him.” “A prat? I’m not—” You tune out the rest of their argument and instead try and figure out what they were saying.

A prat? Legging it? Can’t be arsed? What the fuck? You push the PTT button on your earpiece and as quietly as you can, you ask, “I need some help. Serious help. Life or death situation.” Immediately, Price’s voice rings through, “What? What is it? What happened?” “The soldiers are British and I can’t tell what they’re saying,” You answer, ignoring Price’s relieved sigh on his end, “I need help.” “Jesus, fuck, don’t scare me like that,” Price sighs, taking a few breaths before continuing, “Alright, what do you need help with?” 

“Figuring out what they’re saying.” This time, you hear Gaz’s voice crackle through, “Well, you’ve got three British people here—tell us what he’s saying.” 

“One of the guys was talking about ‘legging it’ if he saw Ghost heading towards him, and talked about Ghost ‘murking’ people, and then the other guy he was talking to told him he was being a ‘prat’ about it and he got all offended,” You eloquently say into the earpiece, watching as the argument gets a little more heated. You can hear an amused huff from Ghost on his end and a scoff from Soap in return. 

“They’re just saying they’re gonna run away if they see Ghost because he’s been killing a lot of their soldiers, and the other guy said he was being a prat, which I guess is like…” Gaz pauses to think of how to explain the slang term before settling on, “Someone who’s kind of full of themselves, I guess. Or ignorant. Either or.” 

“They couldn’t just say that?” You muse quietly, still staring down at the enemy soldiers. 

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that,” Price’s voice cuts through, “Go ahead and shoot the guy down. I’m ready to head in.”

“Got it,” You hum, quickly putting your eye back up to your scope and readjusting it a bit before quietly warning, “Shooting him now.” 

You pull the trigger and the enemy goes down immediately, and through your scope you can see the small twitching of his body as the other soldier starts to freak out.

You quickly aim the gun at his still-alive friend and shoot him down as well, silently congratulating yourself on your good aim and continuing to look through the scope, watching as Price runs in with Gaz and a few other soldiers. 

They struggle with the door for a moment and you sigh before pressing in the PTT button on your earpiece and quietly saying, “Price, Gaz, move away from the door for a sec.”

Wordlessly, they do as they’re told, and you take the opportunity to line up the gun’s aim with the complex electronic panel on the outside of the door and pull the trigger, shooting the most crucial part of the panel, causing it’s functions to disrupt and as a result, the doors open. 

“Thanks for that,” Gaz breathes out as Price kicks open the door, his voice cut off a bit at the end as he takes his hand off the PTT button too quickly in order to follow after Price. 

“Uh huh. Of course,” You say offhandedly, taking your eye away from the scope of your sniper rifle and listening to the loud sirens go off in the facility the others break into, and push yourself up so that you can sit up straight to properly watch it. You grunt as you sit up, stretching your arms out for a moment before letting them fall into your lap. 

“Are they in?” Soap asks, curious, his voice a little strained and breathy. There’s no loud gusts of wind coming through his mic anymore, and you look around for a moment, before your eyes catch on to him climbing up a ladder to get to the rooftop adjacent to yours.

Your lips twitch into a smile at the sight of him completely clueless to your presence and you press your PTT button to talk. 

“Yeah, they’re in,” You say, watching as he finally gets to the rooftop, “Didn’t you hear the sirens?” 

You can see Soap’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion for a moment, and he looks around for a moment before finally seeing you on the rooftop directly next to his, and he looks surprised for a moment before a grin splits across his face. You see him press the PTT button on his mic as well. 

“I did, yeah, just wanted tae be sure,” He says into his mic, looking right at you as he does, “It’s a surprise seeing you here.” 

“Imagine how I feel,” You muse, almost to yourself, before looking away from Soap and speaking up, “Ghost, you don’t wanna join us on the rooftops?” 

“Absolutely not,” He replies almost immediately, making you huff out a small laugh and Soap’s grin grow, “I’m perfectly fine on the ground.” 

“Where are you?” You ask, scanning the area around you for Ghost, “I feel like I haven’t seen you this whole time.” 

“I’m just behind the facility,” Ghost hums, voice still a low whisper, “I’m gonna be heading in once Gaz and Price make it to the second floor to clean up the first, in case there’s anyone left.” 

“You’ve been behind the facility this whole time?” Soap’s voice cuts through, surprised by the fact. 

“Mhm,” Ghost hums. 

“It’s a bit boring back there, innit?” Gaz’s voice crackles through, his voice a little breathy, “You can sweep the first floor, by the way. Should be nobody left, though. Pretty sure all the soldiers were just faffing around, not doing much.” 

“Fucking faffing around?” You ask incredulously to yourself, though apparently your voice is loud enough to make Soap chuckle. 

As if he can read your mind, Price’s voice comes through, “Faffing around is just doing nothing or doing nothing particularly productive, [c/n].” 

You sigh and push your PTT button this time, talking into your mic, “You couldn’t just say that, Gaz? You had to say something silly like faffing around?” 

“It’s not silly,” Gaz says, his frown audible, “They were faffing around.” 

“Jesus, fuck,” You breathe out, laughing lightly, “It’s totally silly.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yeah it is.”

“No it’s—” 

“I just want one day where you two don’t start up stupid arguments like this,” Price’s tired sigh comes through, “Just one day, I beg of you both.” 

“Aw, Captain, we were just faffing around,” You whine playfully, the misuse of the slang making Soap cover his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughter and you hear Ghost groan into his mic. 

“That is absolutely not how you use that,” Gaz says, though you can hear some laughter in his voice—from your very non-British accent saying British phrases, you presume, a small grin gracing your lips at the thought. 

“It sounded natural to me,” You lie straight through your teeth, shrugging even though only Soap can see you. 

“You’re insufferable,” Gaz groans, making you laugh quietly, “Never use British slang again, please.” 

“What if I get a British accent? Will that fix it?”

“Nothing can fix what you’ve said today, [c/n].”

“Well that’s dramatic,” You scoff, “I’ll learn British just for you guys.” 

“Holy shit, please stop talking,” Price’s exasperated voice interrupts the both of you, “You’re both insufferable. Drop it.” 

“… I don’t think I will,” You say defiantly, making all three British people in the same voice channel as you groan in unison, the sound sounding like some sort of middle school choir trying to sing in harmony, “I’ll use Duolingo or something to learn it.” 

“British isn’t a language you learn, you muppet,” Price grumbles, making you snort. 

“Muppet?” 

“It’s someone who’s dumb and clueless and can’t take a hint, like you,” Ghost defines, “And Soap, most of the time.” 

“Daen’t go draggin’ mae into this,” Soap’s voice quickly cuts through, “I haven’t said onything.” 

“Uh, yes you absolutely did, earlier, remember?” Gaz argues, ignoring Price’s protests for him to stop arguing, “About Ghost being stupid with the tea thing?” 

“Oh, I’ll have you all know—” 

“Ghost, don’t start—” 

You listen as the once casual, teasing conversation turns into an argument and chuckle quietly to yourself, knowing that they’d be arguing about this until you all finished your assignment.

[emergency-vehicle]

TF1 OptiRatch headcanons, go!!!!

...oh my god... so i just spent the last two ish hours writing a little drabble that has been stuck inside my brain, only for tumblr to make me take a screenshot of it instead of letting me copy paste the whole thing. anyway, irrelevant. the drabble has allowed me to come up with this list of headcanons!

Ratchet

the first time orion and ratchet meet is immediately after the iacon 5000

ratchet HATES the iacon 5000. he thinks its an utter waste of time and resources.

when they meet, D-16 is still very mad and he kind of lashes out at Ratchet too, but Ratchet is like ??? aint no way this bot is mad at me but in the suspicious way, not the angry way

anyway, the entire situation makes ratchet think theyre conjunxes, its very funny.

still ratchet gets absolutely enraptured by orion

big, blue doe eyes are his weakness, and boy howdy does orion pax possess those.

orion is actually very free with his field and while it kind of startles ratchet at first, he realizes that he really likes the way orion's field feels

orion is still very, very giddy and coming down from the adrenaline rush of the race. he's all smiles and laughs and jokes, which pulls ratchet in even more

the best way to describe him is absolutely enigmatic

without even realizing it, ratchet accidentally spends way more time with orion than he does D-16.

Ratchet has always been...suspicious of cogless bots. He knows that there is something seriously wrong. Not with the bots themselves, but with the fact that they have no cogs.

While the medical records had been wiped clean regarding the fact that all bots are born with cogs (unbeknownst to ratchet), he finds it very curious that bots are born with the place for a cog, but no cog itself.

so, ratchet has begun to do some digging on the side. mostly just making notes of patients regarding their frame types and the curious ailments they come in with

orion is not exempt from this

his hands are much too delicate for mining, far more sensitive and dexterous than sturdy and forged for manual labor.

he has to keep reminding himself that theyre not in his private office, nor is this something that he can look into.

ratchet really, really wants to be the one to repair orion's hands. anything to see this very curious bot one more time

D-16 is not having it.

when ratchet leaves he has to catch his breath. it was so hard for him to be professional when orion's big eyes were staring at him like he held all the knowledge of the universe

ratchet does not consider himself someone who falls easily, nor does he really consider himself romantic at all

even then, he felt this pull towards orion. he chalks it up to curiosity, even though it's obviously deeper than that.

plus its not like it even matters, ratchet wouldve sworn up and down that orion and d-16 were a thing.

Orion Pax

orion is fucking grateful that finally it's not just him and D-16 in the room

dgmw, he loves D-16 with his whole chest, but orion always, always struggled with him when he gets like this. mans is not emotionally intelligent enough to deal with his bestie's BPD (yes this is my personal D-16 headcanon, i will die on this hill)

so when ratchet comes in, he almost instantly relaxes

he thinks ratchet is kind of stuffy at first, like he's obviously uncomfortable and the way he talks is very indicative of that

orion immediately wants to help him loosen up. man cannot deal with two socially inept bots at one time. so he opens his field to him

to his surprise, ratchet reciprocates, but only slightly

orion ALSO likes the way ratchet's field matches with his. instant "i want to be your friend" vibes here

when ratchet pays special attention to his hands, orion is internally screaming the entire time

hes generally not used to gentle touch, and theres something about the way that ratchet is holding his hands that makes his spark flutter

he is desperately spinning code so his aux fans don't kick on. this guy gets flustered so easy. he cannot bear the thought of D-16 making fun of him for almost instantly getting a crush on this doctor

that doesnt stop his processor from failing to form thoughts. he knows ratchet is asking him important questions, but all he can think is "pretty mech touching my hands"

if orion didnt already have his gay awakening, this would've been it

i feel like after ratchet leaves theres a good 15 minutes of silence between him and D-16 where orion is just trying to get his Gay Thoughts(tm) under control

final yapping

in the end, i think its incredibly funny to make orion pax like this far less mature version of optimus. he feels everything x10 and doesn't really know what to do with the feelings, so he just kind of acts like a fool.

meanwhile ratchet is out here like "yeah he's pretty but i have a job to do." that doesn't mean orion doesn't haunt his thoughts after though. he definitely does. the image of his big eyes staring at him won't leave ratchet for a long time.

theyre both gay fools. the tiny crush is mutual. its forgotten about though throughout the events of the movie. orion has much more important things to worry about than a pretty doctor who gently held his hands.

the next time they see each other is after orion became optimus. this was for a standard check up, in which ratchet had to run a full diagnostic of him. ratchet can't help but begin ranting about how he knew something was up with sentinel, with the cogless bots, with that entire fucking situation.

the check up ends with optimus listening to this clearly autistic (positive) mech explain every red string he put together, and how the revolution confirmed all of his missing pieces. (im projecting here because this is my personal brand of autism)

tbh, optimus is impressed. they quickly do become friends, and as the war begins, he realizes that ratchet is a very talented doctor and quickly they earn each others trust. they become good friends, too. optimus likes to listen to ratchet talk about science, talk about new medical breakthroughs. he will often bring ratchet decepticon medical tech he finds out in the field for him to reverse engineer.

optimus absolutely enables ratchet's special interest (medicine) and ratchet absolutely loves optimus for it.

in conclusion, theyre gay neurodivergents your honor.

[sleepiestwizard]

okay im gonna put all my thoughts about the hotguy zinethology on here based on the incoherent ramblings my friends received while i was reading it

(obviously spoilers below the cut)

okay so first of all the first part was SO fucking funny i cried laughing multiple times

the first time i saw cute guy i SCREAMED

HOTGUY TRYING TO GET CUTEGUY TO JOIN HIS UNION AND GRIAN JUST GOING. NAH. WAS SO FUNNY

@cornpapers draws scar SO pretty

mumblr is SUCH a funny name 10/10

the "dont you think cuteguy and hotguy having matching names and outfits is queerbaiting" post is SO FUNNY

THE GRIANVERSE

SHE'S HERE !!!!!!! ARIANA GRIANDE !!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. GRIAN LOOKS LIKE THE SAD HAMSTER

REALLY GOOD PANEL

this whole comic was so funny i loved it loved the cub

THE EMAILS PART WAS ALSO SO FUNNY

this is such an interesting and fun way to tell a story i loved the email part

in general the posts and stuff were SO funny and very realistic for the internet 😭

yeah

grian desperately trying to not let scar reveal his identity 😭😭 girl (this also hits so different now after reading the whole thing btw.)

the comparison to a wild horse in this first fic also killed me

i can't really put a lot of images but there were some really classic superhero comic looking panel that i thoroughly enjoyed

scar tangled in his own grappling hook. classic. very funny

I LOVED THIS FIC SO MUCH. scar voice this is gonna ruin the tour. grian voice what tour. scar voice the world tour.

scar saying he's playing volleyball. haikyuu reference!?!?!?

just putting this here

LOVEDDDD THIS GEM DESIGN

moon mask i immediately called pearl yes pf course

GRIAN REFUSING TO SHOW EACHOTHER THEIR IDENTITIES AGRHRGRHRVH

"you and your cuteguy" arggrgrhsggrgrhgr

murder camel REAL !!

I DIDN'T TRUST THIS FOR A SECOND. PEARL AND HER SOUP I DONT BUY IT

"i cant believe you guys fucking killed jimmy solidarity" <- actual message i sent to mochi

SCOUR KNOWING SCARS NAME. AGRHSGRHRGRHV

i literally had to Go Take A Walk after this fic

i really like how the pearl thing was resolved in this it felt like such a good act 2 reoccurring villain exit. very superhero comic/movie like or even dnd like

'vincent berger' made me laugh

ZEDDIT

MOCHI FIC !!!!

first off every single fic has SUCH a cool cover i love them all

poor grian has ptsd :((

i LOVEEE how mochi writes angst always they're so good at it

the fact that he never found jimmys body immediately made me call the fact that he wasn't really dead and would come back btw

gem would lovee to drive grian slowly crazy tbh

"IVE COME TO PICK UP MY BIRD" AGRHRGRHGRHRVRBTBJRG

JUST LOOK AT THAT GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW !!!!!!!

i was going insane at this point

this whole zine had me feeling like that meme thats like first i laughed.. then i serioused (the first part was SO funny and then golden era was psychic damage /pos)

IMPULSE :D

GEMPEARL <33 they are so everything to me

SCAR WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE SUSPICIOUS POSSIBLY EVIL FOREIGN TECHNOLOGY ON YOUR BODY. SIR.

NOT THE DESTIEL MEME

they look SO fucking cute

both scar and grian look sooooo scrumptious in this comic argh

THE MIND CONTROL. THE. RHE MIND CONFNTOL.

THESE 2 FULL PAGES ARE ABSOLUTELY SO INSANE. I WAS AND STILL AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

THIS IS SO. GOD THIS

THE WAY GRIAN JUMPED AND SCAR JUMPED AFTER HIM. THEYRE CRAZY !!!!!!!

THE WIPING THE BLOODY NOSE AND THEN SMILING LITERALLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE TOOK THE MASK OFF

mumbo <3

THE HUG. ☹️☹️☹️

great big beautiful tomorrow :((( the parallels :((

GRIAN BEING TOO FLUSTERED BY SCAR KINDA FLIRTING THAT HE DIDN'T REALISE HE WAS DROPPING HINTS ABT HIS IDENTITY WAS SO FUNNY

cutiebird..

scar playing w his hair when cuteguy was hurt :(( so cute

REALLY FUNNY

THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS ☹️☹️

the tcg voice: theyre holding hands.. i want them dead

SKIZZ !!!!

ETHO !!!!!!!!!!

awhh skizzly :((((

THIS IS SO UPSETTING

"It's our Impulse, Gem" IM SO UPSET SHUT UP

god the way she puts on the mask and immediately is emotionless im gonna throw up

OBSESSED. THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME

im so obsessed w this cuteguy i love him

grian voice omg im the only bitch serving cunt in this place im so embarasseddddd

they are serving SO much in this comic

ETHO EYHO ETHO ETHEO

SCAR APPOINTING GRIAN AS LEADER. EARURGRHVRH THEY'RE EVERYTHING

READING THIS WAS SO CRAZY IT LITERALLY FELT LIKE WATCHING ENDGAME

JIMMY SOLIDARITY !!!

MUMBO JUMBO !!!!!

impulse thinking about skizz as he's dying :(((((

HE DID IT ALL FOR SKIZZ :(((((((((

i was so upset this made me sob like a baby

SOUP GROUP :(((

SKIZZLY!!! :(((

warden :/

SCAR PEARL INTERVIEW :( HOTGUY RETIRING :( I LOVE THEM

THE CHEMICAL MUTATING PEOPLE IS JUST ESTROGEN BEING A GIRL JUST DOES THAT TO YOU

grian and scar playing volleyball is that a haikyuu reference....

OH THIS PEARL IN THIS COMIC IS REALLY GOOD

cuteguy is so spiderman coded

GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW !!!!!! WE'VE COME FULL CIRCLE !!! SOBBING !!!!

god all in all this was so crazy. it was such an obvious labour of love and everyone who was involved with it did such a good job and obviously put so much love into it AND IT WAS WORTH IT !!!! insanely good work thank you to everyone for doing this and sharing it for free?? @hotguycomiczine y'all are crazy. incredible work <333

[magpod-confessions]

I do not love Alice as much as most of yall seem to. I do not get the hype. On the contrary, i think Sam and Gwen get too much hate.

I come from a labour majority town. I live in a tarrace house. I have a single parent. I am not well to do. And Gwen, to me, is not the embodiment of nepo baby government kiss-ass you all interpret her as.

For one, i doubt her rich as all hell family would be vying for her to work at a suspicious, dingy work job. And i dont think Lena particularly cares for the Bouchard title. And Gwen seems to work as hard as she can, and actually seems to be the only one treating her work as WORK. I can imagine her situation [at the start of the series] was like working on a long-term group project with 1 person who Does Not Give A Fuck and is trying to teach the newbies of the group to do the same as her [Fuck all], which only puts more work and stress on HER.

And her whole "shes a lady" thing with me did not come off as classism. Well to do people tend to do their fucked up shit in private. Bonzo is an otherworldly creature who doesn't care what others think and will just kill you. The fact Mowbray's a Lady makes her seem more human, which is the trap Gwen fell into. It makes her seem like she would only do the atrocious acts in ways that would not damage her title. Whether she is right or wrong, we dont know.

And then there's sam. I never hear anyone really talk about sam in a way thats not

A] talking about him in a way that dumbs down his character.

B] Comparing him to Jon or other characters from TMA

C] only talking about his relationships.

It feels like people are actively resisting having Sam as an actual protagonist, instead trying to make Alice fit into that role. Theyre both complex characters, treat them the bloody same please.

.

[kennysboxergf]

Hey girl! I love your writing. Could you do a Niko smut of them all going out to dinner and Niko and the girl are enemies but they’re both attracted to each other and they both end up bumping into each other coming out of the bathroom and they have hate sex 😜😜😜😜

With Him ~ Niko Omilana

GOD I FUCKING HATE MYSELF I READ THIS WRONG AND THEYRE EXES NOW OMG 😭😭

hopefully it’s still alright, they’re isn’t much smut but I set it up so if anyone wants I will write the continuation with more hate smut 🤭🤭

—

God, you hated how much you loved your friends. They invited you out really sweetly to a dinner at some restaurant or the other. It was already suspicious how long you had gone without Darkest violating you in some way or another but you agreed to come nonetheless. 

You were even more put off when FIlly extended a pinky in your direction and asked you to promise him you were coming. You agreed to that too. 

Stupid. Stupid!

Now here you were at this lovely dinner with your ex staring into your soul from where he was sitting, right in front of you. As soon as you had walked in and seen him sitting at the table you wanted to turn around and sprint your way down the street. It’s not the fact that you guys ended things badly. Well it was that fact. Last time you had seen his face you were yelling at it, there was still some sort of tension between the two of you. 

Then there was that dickhead Sharky who waved at you and yelled out your name so everyone’s attention was on you. You couldn’t even run away now. Great.

You forced a smile and went to the table. And of course. The only empty seat was right across from Niko. Wonderful. Truly delightful. You knew Filly and Darkest knew what they were doing when they tricked you into this dinner. You glanced at them to see them laughing and smiling at you. Traitors. 

You turn your attention back from the back stabbers to him. You notice him already looking at you but he looks away as soon as you turn to him. Weird. 

Most of the dinner isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. You two just avoided each other. You saw a few more weird looks from the direction of your ex-boyfriend but brushed it off as unresolved beef. It got a little weirder when he started really loudly talking about a new girl he smashed. Really loudly, like practically screaming through the restaurant about it. Even the guys were getting a little weirded out with this behaviour. You were getting really uncomfortable the more he announced it.

You knew he was doing all this just to fuck with you. And you weren’t going to have a single second of it. You quickly excused yourself to the bathroom. You had to scuttle past Kenny to get out of the sofa seat and even his thick skull could tell you weren’t ok. You heard a whisper ‘you good?’ as you passed him and nodded in response before rushing as calmly as you could to the privacy of the cubicle. 

You raised your hand to your chest to feel your heart pounding in anger. The heat of the feeling spreads through your veins. Of fucking course, Niko got a new girl. Why wouldn’t he? The two of you were over. But it had never really felt like it, it always felt unfinished.

None of that mattered now because there he was, probably still talking about his new lay at the dinner table. You took a deep breath, which seemed to only anger you more, due to some repressed memory of someone (cough, Sharky, cough) telling you to calm down after you broke up with Niko initially. All your thoughts had been invaded with memories of him, good and bad.

It made you wanna smack the shit out of him but also hold his cheek gently in the palm of your hand and kiss him. Then fuck him out.

You left the cubicle to look at your face in the mirror, your mascara had smudged ever so slightly so you quickly fixed it with your fingers and some water before heading out the bathroom. 

You were still thinking about Niko and other things, but mainly Niko. So it came as a shock when you bumped into a giant wall of flesh that just happened to be him. 

He pushed you away from where you crashed against his body. With barely a glance in your direction he said, “watch where you’re going” 

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion and irritation, and reply back with, “You’re like 6 heads over everyone else in this room you should have seen me coming” 

His face distorted into one of mock pity, “I’m sorry, are you too small and petite to see properly?” 

You matched his fake face, “I’m sorry, were you too busy thinking about your new girl to think straight? Are you too horny?”

“Sounds like someone’s jealous~” he sings as he steps closer to you. 

“Sounds like someone’s hiding bad sex skills by bragging about them~” you shoot back.

“Sounds like someone is targeting my sex skills cus they miss them” he takes a step closer, there is a sort of mischievous look in his eyes as he does.

“Are you making things up about me wanting you because, in secret, you still want me? Haven’t gotten over when I left you all alone in the living room of your house?” That was a little harsh, you winced internally at yourself. You put your hands on your hips as you talk. You’re at a disadvantage as your back is close to the wall and he’s only coming closer and closer still.

His eyes darken at your comments, “you wish I wanted you” he says simply. Another step closer, the two of you are barely a foot apart now.

“Sure keep lying to yourself” you say, an amused smile playing on your lips.

“This isn’t a joke, y/n” he says harshly. Your eyes widen at how serious he is. 

He steps closer, you two are touching feet.

“You left me there, all by myself, I don’t think I’ve ever felt that low before.” He says his hands gesturing as he tries to emphasise how he felt.

You open to speak and his finger goes up to close your lips gently.

“and now you come here, and I thought we could be friends, or at least we could be civil but here we are fighting in the hallway” he claimed, his voice rising.

“We were civil. We are friends.” You stated, speaking slowly and loud to make him hear. You smacked his finger off your lips. “Until you started talking about your new girlfriend so loud that the whole restaurant had turned their heads to listen”

“So you ARE jealous?” He says, completely fucking ignoring anything you’ve just said. 

You try to push him off you but he comes back as quick as you can extend your arms. He places a hand on the wall behind you. The force of his body coming forwards slams yours into the wall. You look up at him and see his eyes looking at you with a fire behind them. You felt the same fire flare in your chest.

“I’m not jealous you fucking weirdo, im trying to tell you that you started this but you don’t listen. You never did.” You stick a finger in his chest as if that would get him to open his ears.

He twisted his face into one of anger, and started to spew more insults mixed with arguments for himself. This isn't something you were going to listen to, you didn’t have the patience to let him waffle about why he was right anymore. You had to shut him up somehow. And there was only one way you know how.

You went up on your tiptoes to kiss him. His chatter stopped. Your eyes were squeezed shut, scared of his response. His eyes were blown wide. You felt his lips kiss you back. You leaned into the familiarity, his hot lips against yours.

You pulled away first. His eyes were more open now, still angry but also confused now.

He took your arm and pulled the two of you into the bathrooms. You led the way to a cubicle once your back had been pushed through the door. It was all very fast and frantic, your heart was beating very quickly in your chest. You locked the door to the cubicle and turned around to Niko immediately putting his lips back on yours.

Neither of you said anything as you kissed, it could start another argument neither of you wanted. You tried to gain an upper hand, putting your hand under his shirt and pulling it up. His hands went around your waist and pulled you in closer.

You pushed him down onto the toilet seat, thankfully the seat was closed but at this point it would be very funny to see Niko fall into the toilet. He landed with a grunt, you sat yourself on his lap, your legs on either side of the seat. This was so unsanitary but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Niko’s hands trailed their way up your thighs, going under the dress you had on. You could feel his boner under the light fabric of your underwear.

That’s when you heard the door open. The two of you stopped your actions. You sat as still as you could on top of him and his hands gripped at your thighs. The stranger couldn’t see you through where you had locked yourself in the cubicle but your heart had jumped to your throat.

As you heard them enter a cubicle a few stalls away from yours your heart calmed down. That’s when an evil idea floated through your mind. You grind up and down on Niko’s lap, he looked at you with the confusion painted on his face. You continued your actions, he would have loved to reciprocate but he was too busy slamming a hand over his mouth to stay quiet. You increased your movements. He gasped under his hand and his eyes squeezed shut.

Just when you thought he was going to moan out loud you stopped. You got off of him as quickly and quietly and you could and leaned over his shoulder to press the flush. He couldn’t process the actions and you took the opportunity to quickly open the door of the cubicle and go out. 

He opened his mouth to say something before closing it, reminded of the situation. You wink and wave, a gleeful smile on your face before closing the door on his aghast face. You made your way to the sink and washed your hands before heading out into the hall.

You passed another woman on her way to the bathroom and your smile grew bigger. You let out a small giggle once you were out of ear shot. You would love to continue the ‘conversation’ later but, come on! How could you pass up an opportunity like that?

You rejoined your friends at the table. You pretended to be interested in the conversation but you kept checking your phone for the time, getting a bit more excited as the minutes passed.

Finally, after around 10 minutes Niko emerged from the bathrooms. You looked up at him to see him scowling at you, his hands were at his pants, adjusting them slightly.

Chunkz looked up at him then down at his watch, “took you long enough, were you having a wank in there?” 

The table burst into laughter, and yours was clearly the loudest. His eyes never left yours and he muttered a sarcastic “ha ha” and took his spot on the table.

Some time in the midst of the conversation, when everyone was too focused on one thing or the other to see you, he leaned over the table and gestured for you to do the same. You lean in with confusion but a smile is still evident on your face.

“Meet me after this dinner” he says, small and sharp.

Your stomach flutters.

“Ok, professor” you whisper back.

You sit back down, ok maybe, you were still into him. You couldn’t wait for this night to end as he shot daggers into you from his seat and you shot back smug smiles and winks. You hoped nobody had noticed that the tension between you two had changed. But maybe they did because they all left very quickly, leaving you alone. With him.

—

as always requests are open and please come by and say hi <3

[theoldoor]

ratio being the couple therapist for fenrir. . … . ouououououhhhh

its not even couple therapy its literally one sided situationship therapy because fenrir has an issue with unreciprocated love with every single thing. first it was unreciprocated love with humanity and now unreciprocated love with a dude he lived in the desert with for a year and a half in the name of ‘survival’. its not explicitly stated as romantic or not. its like those relationships that are not necessarily romantic nor platonic, just forever intertwined and bonded.

but as always - its on fenrir’s side. aventurine doesnt reciprocate, hes just chill like that while fenrir yearns the shit out of his soul.

sleeping together but thats totally normal because they did it countless times in the desert together. showering together is absolutely fine too, infact they bicker over who gets the bathtub and who gets the shower. they are so casually open with each other because with the trust they formed in the desert, this is just normal and they can trust that the other wont go against them. they know the stakes they have for each other.

they are so casually normal with each other im sick

aventurine can be mad at fenrir without guilt and fenrir can let loose of aventurine and he’d still be in one piece theyre fukcing ththt

i think its just, i think fuck i cant say shit

after being engulfed by qiploth and ena reincarnate, fenrir was place in a limbo reality between life and death. but this reality is the ‘perfect’ reality - much like the perfect world sunday described as he was under the influence of order. fenrir lived this life, 3 characters are present in the entirety of his months and he sees nothing as wrong. he lives in a simple small apartment with hermia and aventurine - just that simple domestic life for 8 months equivalent of time and he didn’t even notice that the perfect reality is crumbling. the has looked weird for the past month. aventurine had been a little bit more intimate and he was getting suspicious. but what totally snapped him was aventurine saying a line that broke character, when aventurine referred to him with a term of endearment.

and he knows that’ll never happen due to his rooted belief that his feelings will never be reciprocated in such manners. this sent him down to a spiral, questioning if everything had really been worth it - to indulge in this fantasy.

[winchesterszvonecek]

could you do a connor piece with these two prompts? theyre not from the same list so i hope thats okay 🩷

"I'm not gonna let you cum no matter how much you want it."

+

“So, what's going on between you and [name] recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden."

and its like the reader is a firefighter at 51 and close to kelly or casey / got closer to one of them and yeah :)

All Yours - [ Connor Rhodes ] 18+

Prompt: “So, what’s going on between you and [name] recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden.” + “I’m not gonna let you cum no matter how much you want it.”

Word Count: 2550 i couldn’t stop myself

Warnings: female!reader, strong language, jealousy, possessiveness, smut - [ vaginal fingering, oral - fem!receiving, edging, dirty talk… so much dirty talk, unprotected sex ]

A/N: i was so nervous to post this cause it feels so goddamn filthy but i did it anyway so hopefully y’all enjoy it and i didn’t go way off the rails lmao

Masterlist | Connor Masterlist

You knew something was wrong the minute you got into the car and Connor hadn’t immediately kissed your cheek then asked you how your shift was. You could tell simply by the way he stayed silent the whole ride home, his hands gripping the steering wheel with such force that his knuckles had turned white and you were surprised they hadn’t broken through his skin.

It was unlike him to not ask you a hundred questions revolving around your day at work, and even more unlike him not to kiss you, so if you hadn’t been suspicious enough, then his stiff posture and lack of eye contact with you would have been evidence enough. And when he didn’t place his hand on your thigh each time you stopped at a red light, you knew you were in trouble, only you had no idea why.

You didn’t know what was bothering him, what you could have done to make him this way, and in all honesty you were scared to ask which is why you stayed as quiet as he did during the ride home. But the second you stepped foot into your shared apartment, where you’d just about managed to find the courage to ask him what was wrong, Connor beat you to it and he wasn’t at all subtle in hiding his obvious annoyance over what he’d seen when he came to pick you up.

“So, what’s going on between you and Casey recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden.” Connor asked, his tone a little bitter as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the couch as you tilted your head a little, ignoring the anger that built inside him when you laughed softly.

“Me and Casey?” You shook your head, glancing briefly around the room before your eyes landed back on him. “Connor, I’ve told you this before, he’s my Lieutenant, that’s it. Nothing more” You added, scoffing a little at the insinuation he was so clearly making as you made your way to the bedroom, deciding you’d heard enough of what he had to say.

You’d had this conversation with him once before when he caught Casey hugging you in the hospital after a rough call and that hadn’t gone well so he could forgive you for not wanting to go down that road again.

“Oh really? Well it seems to me like he thinks differently… Especially if the way he looked at you when I picked you up said anything on the matter.” Connor said with a touch more anger as he followed you into the room, even the sight of the eighty-one shirt covering your torso enough to have his blood boil over the memory of how Casey had looked at you.

“How he looked at me?” You repeated, your tone matching his as you couldn’t believe he was making you go through this again. “Tell me Connor, how was he looking at me? Cause if it was anything less than with drool coming from his mouth then I don’t want to hear it.”

“He might as well have been drooling.” Connor scoffed, pulling his shirt over his head with such haste that he was surprised his head hadn’t come off with it. “The way he watched you… Practically fucking you with his eyes right in front of me.”

“For God sakes, Connor.” You muttered in frustration, pulling your own shirt off and tossing it in the hamper. All you wanted was a quiet morning after work, but it appeared as though your fiancée thought otherwise and little did you know… “How many times do I have to tell you? Casey does not want to fuck me. And even if he did…”

Unaware that Connor had been moving towards you, your words were cut off when you suddenly felt your chest hit hard against the wall, sending a tingle down your front which quickly made its way between your legs when you felt Connor push up against you, lifting your hands to pin them above your head, making you unable to see how he stared at you the very same way he’d accused Casey of.

“What? Would you let him fuck you?” He whispered, his voice so deep he was practically growling as he attached his lips to your neck, the pure heat coursing through your veins making you unable to reply.

You could feel his free hand snake around your waist, his fingertips trailing down your stomach before they delved beneath your trousers, ghosting over your already throbbing pussy and causing a soft moan to escape your lips as you leaned back against him, his hardened bulge pressing firmly against your ass.

“Would you let him pin you down in his office and fuck that tight little pussy of yours?” Connor whispered into your ear, his teeth digging gently into your lobe as he tugged on it, hearing the muttered swear words that left your lips in response. “Answer me baby… If he wanted to… Would you let your Lieutenant fuck you?”

“No.” You gasped softly at the coldness of his fingers as they pushed aside your panties, trailing themselves painfully slowly across your soaking slit as Connor made sure not to touch your clit as he wanted to hear you beg for it. “No I wouldn’t.”

“And why’s that?” Connor asked in intrigue as he always thought you had a little school girl crush on Casey before you met him. He pulled his hand from your panties and flipped you round, once again pinning your hands firmly above your head. The first thing he noticed about you was the lust that had blown wide in your pupils, your breathing heavy as you all but panted which only had him straining that much more against his pants.

“Because…” You breathed out, clenching your legs to try and feel some friction against the raving heat beneath them. “…you’re the only one I want to fuck me… The only one whose cock I want to feel inside me.”

“Hm, good answer.” Connor hummed in satisfaction, pressing his lips hard against you as you all but devoured each other. His hold on your hands faltered, allowing them to fall to your sides before you moved to unbuckled his belt, the only thing he allowed you to do before he took your hands in his, stilling your motions. “Not so fast… I think you deserve a little punishment beforehand, don’t you?”

“Punishment? For what?” You asked, almost finding yourself angry again as you thought you’d made it clear to him that you’d never dream of cheating on him with Casey. That was, until you saw the way he smirked, his eyes darkening as he imagined all the ways he could have you squirming beneath him and that’s when you knew you were done for.

“For being so goddamn hot that every guy who meets you wants to fuck you.” And with that, the words that had you smiling like crazy, Connor lifted you off your feet and threw you down onto the bed, towering over you as his hands roamed across your skin, feeling the hotness of it mix with that of his cold hands.

He gripped the cups of your bra, pulling it down to allow your breasts to spill over the edge, his mouth cupping one of them instantly whilst his hand went to the other, kneading it softly as he flicked and pinched at the hardened bud between his fingers, making you hum softly as your threaded your fingers through his hair.

You were already a soaking mess by the time he moved lower, his fingers hooking around the waistband of both your pants and your panties, which he pulled off you in one quick motion before he got to his knees, spreading you open to see the glistening sight that was your pussy.

“Look at you.” Connor teased, pacing soft kisses up your inner thigh, his stubble scratching you lightly as his arm slid across your stomach, holding you down to stop you from arching your back too high. “Absolutely dripping… And all for me.”

“Only you, baby.” You gasped, followed by a low moan as he slipped one finger inside you, which was enough for you to almost lose your train of thought. “Fuck… Only for you.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Connor chuckled, in a way that told you that you were more than likely about to have to beg for your life. “Now be a good girl and moan for me while I fuck my fingers into your pretty little pussy.”

You did what you were told as he slid a second finger into you, knuckle deep before he pulled back, thrusting them into you once again and keeping a steady rhythm. The noises they made were not at all quiet as you knew how wet you were, how absolutely soaking you got when he took control like this, but then again, neither were you.

Your moans echoed off the walls, probably reaching the neighbours which you’d normally be embarrassed about but right now you didn’t care. You were simply in heaven as he continued to finger fuck you, curling them slightly to hit that sweet spot inside you. It had barely been a minute before you already found yourself clenching tightly around his fingers, about to come harder than you’d ever done before.

That was, until Connor pulled them out, making you whine at the loss of contact and look down at him, just in time to see him suck the glisten of you off his fingers.

“Oh, did you think I was gonna let you give in so quickly?” He asked, moaning softly at the taste of you on his fingers as he licked them once again. “Baby, I’m not gonna let you come no matter how much you want it.”

The second the words left his lips he’d attached them to your pussy, sucking gently on your clit before his tongue worked its way downwards. Eating you out like you were his first meal in days which had you whimpering as you all but levitated off the bed, gripping the sheets for dear life as you’d never felt anything quite like how his tongue felt inside you.

Five times Connor brought you to the edge of your climax, allowing you to see briefly over the edge before he pulled you away, his mouth leaving you as you let out a stifled sob. You couldn’t take another second let alone another minute of him denying you what you wanted. You were desperate. So fucking desperate for him to make you come that you could feel your eyes stinging with tears, your lower abdomen tightening more than ever before as it slowly reached the brink of being painful.

“Connor please.” Your breath hitched as you spoke, your body shaking from the edging he was so thoroughly enjoying. “Please… I can’t… I can’t take it anymore, please let me come.”

“You want to come baby?” Connor said softly, rubbing a slow circle against your swollen clit, making you whimper quietly to yourself as your hips bucked involuntarily. “You want me to make you come?”

“Yes… Yes, please make me come.” You begged, propping yourself up on your shaky elbows to look at him. “Please… I want you to make me come so fucking bad, baby. Want you to make me come so hard I scream your name.”

“Tell me you’re mine.” Connor said seriously, unbuttoning his pants as he readied himself to make good on his promise. “Tell me you’re mine and I’ll fuck you so good you’ll scream my name loud enough that the whole city hears it.”

“I’m yours.” You said instantly, biting down hard on your lip as he pushed down his pants, freeing his already leaking and thick cock from beneath them. “I’m all yours. My heart. My pussy… All of it belongs to you.”

“Good girl.” Connor cooed, tracing his tip down your slick folds, pushing it in just a little as he smeared your arousal down the length of it. “Now get on your hands and knees.”

You moved quicker than before, barely settling yourself down on your knees before you felt him come up behind you, his erection brushing against your inner thigh as he settled himself nicely behind you, the bed the perfect height to allow him to stand which you knew meant he wasn’t going to be gentle at all. And right now, right now you wanted it rough.

“Give it to me, baby… Let me feel that thick cock in my tight little pussy.” You murmured, knowing that you talking dirty always riled him up, which it did as the second the words left your lips he’d pushed into, bottoming out in one quick motion and he was anything but slow as he began to pound mercilessly into you.

Your back arched, your chin pushed deep into the mattress as you bit down onto it, stifling your cries as your body trembled in pure pleasure, the slight pain of Connor’s roughness and lack of allowing you to adjust to his size only adding to the heat that pumped through your veins.

“Fuck… Yes baby, give it to me. Fucking give it to me. Yes.” You cried out, pushing your ass out further before you felt a sharp sting across it, Connor having slapped it before digging his fingers deep into the flesh of it, sure to leave bruises come the next morning.

“Taking it so good, baby.” Connor groaned, his hips moving furiously as he continued to slam into you, the sound of how wet your pussy was like music to his ears, as were your moans which he’d never heard quite as pleasure driven before. He could feel you clamping down around him, about to burst any second now as he gave you exactly what you wanted. “That’s it, sweetheart, come for me.”

As though on command, you clamped down fully, pure ecstasy flowing fast throughout your veins as you came harder than ever before, making good on your word of screaming his name as you couldn’t help but allow it to cross your lips. You couldn’t begin to describe this moment, your head was fuzzy, your eyes were clouded over in white as you felt your very spirit leave your body, and for a second you thought you’d ascended into heaven, that was until your name slipping from Connor’s lips as he came inside you pulled you back to reality.

“Fuck, Connor…” You exhaled, no air left in your burning lungs as he’d fucked it all out of you. “I think… I think… God, I don’t even know what to think.” Your body fell flat against the bed, your thighs sticking together from a mixture of yourself and Connor, whose release was slowly dripping out of you.

Connor chuckled, flipping your now limp body over so you lay on your back, making it easy for him to see your flushed face as he towered over you, gently brushing his thumb across your lips before he spoke.

“You know what I think… I think… You did so well in letting everyone in Chicago know that you're mine… And mine only.”

Prompt List

Like this? Apply to my Connor tag list here!

tagging: @kiddbegins @neapolitantoebeans @alexxavicry @wandamaxim0f

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[therealmaquaroonie]

Wanna know about my total drama gravity falls crossover idea fanfic thing? No? Too bad this post is about it

This takes place after Chris McLean gets imprisoned and Bill Cipher gets put into the theraprism. This is very important to how the crossover works.

Chris McLean gets sent a book from an anonymous source and from the perspective of the parole officers it's a normal book. Thinking nothing of it they give it to Chris. Chris is now in possession of (albiet slightly different) the book of bill

Curiously enough, Bill gives him quite an offer; Bill can get Chris out of prison to continue his show, but only if Chris promises to free Bill.

Chris is surprisingly apprehensive at first. A dream demon? An easy way out? He laughs, thinking it's his mind playing tricks on him. Bill leaves Chris a number he can call in case he changes his mind.

Slowly though, more and more 'favors' pop up. At first it's simple convenient moments, better food, the other prisoners don't seem to try and pick on him as much, things that'd be considered better luck. Then suddenly it escalates; others who hated him in prison, who wanted him gone, are found dead. His debts to others are somehow forgiven due to loss of files. All the while Chris swears he's been seeing more and more triangles pop up everywhere he looks. He has strange dreams about him, seeing Bill whenever he blinks. It starts to drive him mad.

He gives in, calling the number, immediately summoning Bill. It's much like the summoning Gideon did in season one, time is frozen. Chris immediately asks why Bill is doing this. Bill chuckles, feigning innocence. Eventually Bill divulges info, telling Chris that theyre not all that different. Bill tells him he feels empathy for someone who used to be on top of the world in such a low place; that Bill is more than willing to do him this favor if Chris is willing to promise Bill's freedom. Chris takes the deal.

Moments later, every prisoner and guard is gone, and Chris walks out.

Then yeah, Chris starts planning out an entire season of challenges that get weirder and more specific as time progresses. Eventually, it is revealed that this Rube Goldberg machine of events causes a portal to be built and then the REAL show begins Aka Total Drama Weirdmageddon

I hypothesize that Chris has a hard time getting legitimate information about cryptids and stuff so Bill recommends he go to Gravity Falls and bribe Stan Pines for some, offering it as a 'business deal' and Chris dangling some potential share of the profits. Stan (who we all know has no morals when it comes to money, and assumes Bill is dead dead) immediately would take the offer, probably sliding him notes under the metaphorical or literal table. Whether all of the info Stan gives him is legit or not depends on how funny it would be if it were right/wrong.

Ford I headcanon has no idea who the fuck Chris is, because he was out in the multiverse for the entire duration of when total drama aired on live tv, so he just assumes his brother is just sharing harmless deets with a random show writer who might not even make it past the auditioning phase. But Ford is suspicious of Chris, still. He can't put a finger on it but he feels like something isn't right here. Ford chocks it up to paranoia at first, but probably would get more suspicious as more info is passed along to Chris.

Mabel definitely knows who Chris is and has watched almost the whole show. I think we can collectively understand how Mabel would react. Dipper knows who Chris is but focuses more on the fact that Chris caused a LOT of chaos (as well as his extensive criminal record), but due to being separated from and only hearing from his Grunkle about it ever so often, Dipper thinks Stan can handle it and is just toying with Chris.

Soos is Soos. He'd find it cool. Probably would be a little overbearing about it because he was probably a fan of the show in the earlier seasons, probably asking a lot of questions about Chris, but he doesn't think anything is suspicious.

As for the contestants; oh gods I almost forgot. Does anyone have any suggestions???

Also Bill is definitely possessing Chris a couple times. No doubt about it.

[obscenicon]

okay i have to complain about this bcs it drives me crazy but. that one post saying that "oh isnt it sad that dave got roxys teddy bear genes and rose got dirks overthinking genes but they got put in the opposite homes" makes me SO mad

like the implication that their abuse wouldnt have been as bad or that they wouldve "been able to handle it" if dave was raised by mom and rose was raised by bro is not only extremely victim-blamey, bcs youre basically saying its on THEM that they got traumatized by their parents, but its also just... blatantly not true? and completely ignores the actual impacts of abuse on children? and the fact that the abuse they suffered shaped who they are as people and not the other way around???

rose is an overthinker and suspicious of everything mom does BECAUSE mom is neglectful! shes rightfully suspicious of moms shows of affection bcs theyre interspersed with periods of abuse! thats WHY she is the way she is!!! rose would not be "up to the challenge" of being raised by bro she would just be fucked up and traumatized in a completely different way?? bcs bro is physically abusive? oh my god. and if dave was raised by mom he would likely have a very similar mindset to rose, because neglect and abuse does that to you!

yall cannot be blaming the way their guardians abused them on them having "the wrong genes" or being in the wrong households or whatever. that is so callous and gross

[yourlegacysnotyourstosee]

I took notes on my thoughts while watching Nerdy Prudes Must Die because I did the same for Black Friday

DAMN Jon said “I am a TENOR”

I literally can’t get over how good he sounds

AHHHHHH LAUREN!!!!!

Bro these songs SLAP

Damn Mariahs hair is so long

Pete is such a mood

I’m literally terrified of being pantsed so bad

BRUH NOT MICRO-PETER

Omg hey Kim

When Cory enthusiastically agrees I’m dying

Omg Max likes Grace???????

Wait that’s so cute

Wait why’s he kinda fine

“His name is Jesus Christ” HELP 💀💀💀💀💀

It’s giving Apex Predator (from Mean Girls)

Damn these HARMONIES THO

My jaw is on the floor the way Cory is talking to her

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?” ME LMFAO

I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST MAKE AN ISSAC NEWTON JOKE

The way hes like “this is about thermodynamics” me me me. I hate when people make jokes about the things we’re not even talking about.

“NANI” NO WAY HE SAID THAT HELP💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀I LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE 💀💀💀💀💀💀

Study date????????

Joey Richter my beloved ❤️❤️❤️

When Max enters and the crowd cheers

“Rondevuch”

Max literally has a God complex

Why is Kim everyones mom?

“Walen place”?????

“Mom will you pass the butt stuff????” HELP SHES BEEN CORRUPTED

NO WAY SHES FANTASIZING ABOUT MAX JAGERMAN

LITERALLY WHAT

Awwww Grace is experiencing Catholic Guilt™ ❤️❤️❤️

Girl wdym “he’s gotta go”???

Laurens character is bisexual???????

“WAIFU MATERIAL”?????? I literally can’t get over Jons character

Wait Grace is a little fucked up actually

Wait since the Waylons built hatchetfield high and the starlight theater, could they have cursed the town somehow? Like I know about the evil brothers or whatever, but I’m not super familiar with the lore

Wait I kind of love Grace now

Mariah slays

“Am I reading as Ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?” AWWWWWW❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“Your fucking useless Pete.” Tgwdlm???? In MY npmd???? It’s more likely than you think

I’m very suspicious about how fast they seemed to put the plan together…

I know the plan wont work and Im so nervous I’m getting secondhand embarrassment so bad rn

“Skele-ens”

I need Max Jagerman actually

Awwww Max is a Theater Kid ❤️❤️❤️

AW FUCK HE DIED

HOLY FUCK HE DIED

GIRL WTF IS WRONG WITH GRACE

I love how upbeat this song is

WHYD SHE CUT HIS NIPPLES OFF WTF

Omg Dan and Donna!

Slay Mayor Lauter

His reaction to being asked to the game is giving- “she asked me for the time” “no way” “way :D”

THE NIGHTHAWKS MASCOT 💀💀💀💀

FUCK CLIVESDALE

DAMN THEYRE IN THE SPLITS GOOD FOR THEM

I like that the football team has only 2 players

I love when actors walk through the audience, but ESPECIALLY here when hes stalking Richie bro looks so good

Listen I know he’s about to kill Richie but HES SO FINE HELP

Im literally so Gay bro

THE SMOKE CLUB!!!!!!

THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEME

When she says hes not hot anymore girl speak for yoursef

Please let Grace swear

Oh fuck they’re giving themselves away

Grace Chastity said “acab”

Cory needs more songs

MAN IN A HURRY RETURNS!!!!!

Damn who is this girl in a trenchcoat 😍😍😍

GERALD OH MY GOD

Random side note but what happened to Robert? I was just thinking about how I wish we could see Hidgens again but is Robert still a part of Starkid anymore? Is he on to Bigger and Better things? Does anyone know what those are? I’d love to continue to support him.

Edit: NVM NVM I TAKE IT BACK I DO NOT WANT TO SUPPORT ROBERT MANION NO NO NO SIR

The invisible bird. Literally high school theater

“Heahs the thang about ah bahbecue”

“Ah wawna remember who ah ayum”

Ruth is so real for not know when to do the lights bc the cue lines were wrong

Ugh Laurens voice is so good and I know ive said that about pretty much everyone but it’s true

I know shes about to die rn

The red lighting gave it away

THE WAY HE LOOKS INTO CAMERA AFTER HE KILLS HER I NEED HIM SO BAD

Why did Kim scream like that

Awww Grace has religious trauma now ❤️❤️❤️

THE COPS THEME

OH MY GOD PAUL AND EMMA!!!!!!!!!

He gave her his number❤️❤️❤️

Hot chocolate boy!!!!!!!! I knew Peter was the hot chocolate boy but still

This duet is EVERYTHING

Obsessed with the fact he called MARIAH ROSE FAITH a MEAN GIRL

“Axe wielding maniacs?”

The Waylons did not dig that shit very deep…

OH FUCK THEY HAVE TO SUMMIN THE LORDS IN BLACK

I KNEW THE WAYLONS BUILT LAKESIDE MALL

im so sorry Zombie Max is So Fine

WIGGLY

THEY HAVE HUMAN FORMS??????

“Let me check my Christmas list”

“What do you want steph?” MORE tgwdlm? In MY npmd?

I feel bad for not knowing all their names

Max says bitch a lot

Damn this show is long

Omg this is so sad im tearing up a lil

Max is so fucking funny

Damn Grace is seducing Max this is hilarious

Fuck Grace Chastity or kill some nerds? One of the many difficult decisions in life

He decides to fuck Grace Chastity

OH MY GOD THATS SO SMART

Thats some fuckin Macbeth level shit

Kims teacher character is so cute awwwww

Paul and Bill dance Chaperones??????

Oh nvm that’s Jason

I don’t think I ever mentioned it but the dancing is really good

It’s very clean and crisp

In the last 2 hours I very quickly developed a massive crush on Will Branner

OH FUCK

WHATS GOING ON

WHAT

[trebuchet151]

If you’re up for it, I’d love to hear more about Corey! What kind of villain he is, what his goals are, anything you’d be willing to share? No pressure of course! Love seeing your art

Starting with a heartfelt thank you for your interest in them, I think my blog has gotten more attention today bc of your reblog than it has collectively since I made it lmao. I am a huge fan of your sidestep too actually, I've only recently quit being just a lurker on this site but I've always loved seeing Richard cross my dash.

I'd LOVE to share about Corey!!!

I'm not 100% sure on a canon route yet, but for now this is one of my favs

Under a cut for length

Back during the sidestep days, they were known as a vigilante, specializing in tech and tactics. Once Anathema and Ortega broke the ice, they really opened up and became very social (comparatively anyway, theyre still a homebody) and were very involved in their community in like a local cryptid way ("honey, the masked stranger that cut the boot off my tire is on the TV lurking in the background of a rangers interview"). Very stray cat affection style, went from "i hate you dont touch me" to being in Themmy/ Ortega's space constantly. They have absolutely terrible mental health that was somewhat on the mend thanks to the support of their friends until they went and got the "taste the metal"/"one more day" path during the heartbreak incident .

During Rebirth, they're much more withdrawn and dissociative. In the time since the heartbreak incident they have become much more cautious and try to avoid combat whenever they can, taking telepathic boosters and speed/jump-jets as their armor enhancements. They blow up the museum while maintaining a no kill status and take the villain name "Heartbreak" (i love the angst that one brings). Corey blames themselves for what happened to them and their friends (sidestep/past self nemesis), and their motivation is their anger over everything that's happened to them.

Corey changes nemesis/motives between rebirth and retribution. Their more social nature starts coming back as their relationship with the current rangers and mortem improves and they go to therapy, which mellows them out a lot. They begin to wonder if they're doing the wrong thing (current self nemesis) and change motivations to "show the world the truth". Heartbreak becomes an anarchist, dedicated to exposing corrupt politicians with the least amount of violence possible. Their irresistable urge to monologue about how fucked up things are makes both Ortega and Chen sympathetic and suspicious.

For now, Corey's got a mirror image puppet named Mallory. Ideally, the puppet would be a woman for maximum gender crisis, but I love the scene in Ortega's romance that has him call the puppet by sidesteps name, and that only triggers with the mirror image achievement.

I have played ALL the romance routes and adore everyone, especially Dr. Mortum (Corey's new best friend), but the friends to lovers with Ortega wins me over, so Ortega is winning the canon route by a very thin margin.

I'm having a very hard time figuring out Corey's gender issues, bc we have dysphoria in opposite directions. I *think* they're agender, but that might change over time who knows. They're gonna come out during the story whenever that gets addressed, so He/him and They/them are both applicable

My favorite retribution ending so far is where Corey goes to see HG themselves, crashes, and is revealed as Heartbreak, but Ortega breaks them out anyway.

Thank you so much for your interest in Corey! I love them so much and am thrilled to share <3

I'll put together a more coherent summary of their lore eventually, but hopefully this is good for now :)

[mariatesstruther]

I honestly don't get why Maria was so anti-Joel oh he's a horrible person he's done horrible things he can't be around us, but accepted Tommy fully to the point he's the father of her child when both did the same things, ran with the same people and all of that.

I mean I love the character, but that confuses the hell out of me. Why's Tommy accepted but Joel damned?

okay, so… this response took me like half hour to write. my wrists hurt, my jaw is clenched, my brain is hot. i love u anon thank u very much for this chance to vent about just why my girl maria has been so misunderstood. let’s go

i personally think this is where many people fundamentally misunderstand maria’s perception of joel. she’s not cautious of him primarily because of tommy or anything tommy has said, in my personal opinion—she’s cautious of him for and because of ellie

ive said this on my blog a few times and i think so have @steeb-stn and @clickergossip (and maybe @liveandletcry23 and @bumblepony i have a shit memory so tagging just in case) so im gonna tag them to credit their words and ideas about maria as well, but the FIRST time maria sees joel, he’s with this rando twelve year old girl who he is seemingly so protective over that she cant even be sniffed by dogs who are just trying to detect infection, which would be good for ANYBODY. that’s his first strike for untrustworthyness, because why the fuck wouldn’t he let this girl be tested???—we know why, of course, but maria doesnt. shes working on the very limited info about joel/ellie’s relationship that she has from just her own observations, and i think we need to remember that as we go through analyzing why she moves how she moves

shes knows from tommy at this point is that joel had a daughter, but it is definitely not this little girl. so why the fuck are they so close. what have they gone through. are they okay. is ellie okay. is their relationship safe for her??? THAT’s what she’s thinking about, in my opinion, while shes staring joel down at that dinner table. she’s reasonbly suspicious, and i can’t blame her for it.

i had to cut this it’s literally maybe my longest post ever so. heres the cut

ALSO, it’s not like she’s a straight up bitch to joel like some of y’all seem to make it out to be??? she never says or implies that “they can’t be around” or anything like that. she offers them clothes and food and supplies. she sets them up in a house. before dinner, she gives them a personal tour (which, to be fair, she did because she was probably trying to keep an eye on them and figure out more about whether or not ellie is safe, but who wouldnt???? i know tess would! and yall would love her for it!). tommy literally says to joel before they leave that there will always be a place for him and ellie in jackson—you cannot tell me you believe he said so without already have maria’s green light for joel and ellie to stay

ALSO, i wanna consider some other things that i haven’t seen many ppl talk about. on that walk she takes with tommy and joel and ellie, she makes it sound like tommy has been with them for at least years AND she maintains the confidence to say that residents in jackson stay off the radio—i could totally be wrong, but it seems to me from the look tommy and joel share right after that it’s obvious tommy has been talking to joel BEHIND MARIA’S BACK???? did no one else catch that??? am i misinterpreting big time??? id assume because theyre married and from the way tommy talks about jackson that he’s been in jackson for at least 3 years maybe, and we know that he only stopped radioing joel a couple months before the show’s main plotline starts, so timeline wise there had to be some overlap of tommy still radioing joel from/around jackson. idk if anyone of my mutuals has thoughts on this but i personally think it’s important to point out, because it establishes that maria likely doesn’t know or think tommy and joel kept in contact, at least not as recently as up to some months ago. she knows that tommy and joel are close, but at the same time, she doesn’t think tommy really knows or talks to joel anymore, either. so how is she supposed to extend him any trust as tommy’s brother????? how and why would she give this man any benefit of the doubt???? it wouldn’t make any sense. she’s more practical and discerning than she is naive and kind, and y’all can think what y’al want about that but i love her for it. it’s very necessary for a woman like her to be the way she is

okay, so back to your question. back to why joel is “damned” and tommy is “accepted.” let’s talk about joel for a sec

y’all like to babygirl and idolize the absolute fuck out of this man

we know that not only was he a smuggler, but he killed and tricked and took advantage of people, shamelessly and brutally. we know that tommy did so too. maria knows that tommy has done the same things. maria also knows that tommy left that life because he couldnt do it anymore, and joel continued because he could

point blank period!!!!! yall can argue with me all u want but tommy left that murder life and joel did not. im not saying this makes either brother good or bad or better than the other, i love joel sm and i think both of them have an undisputed capability to do unspeakable things in order to survive. but tommy got to a point where he hit a limit, whereas joel doesn’t seem to have one. this is at least my personal interpretation of their conversations in the game and the show

tommy DID join the fireflies, which we all know now is not any fucking better than whatever the fuck joel was doing—the difference is the reasoning, though, and considering tlou is all about reasoning and the why, we need to consider the reasoning behind tommy’s decision: he wanted to do something better, something good, something he thought had a purpose. we all know now that the fireflies are bullshit, their purpose is bullshit, and they’re willingness to kill a child for the sake of the “cure” is it’s own entire paradox of bullshit. but they were a rebel organization fighting fedra, who fucking suck, and probably had somewhat of a better reputation back when tommy was interested in joining—or maybe they didn’t, to be fair, i don’t know! the point is, tommy went to them seeking some sort of better purpose, some type of redeption; in joel’s own fucking words, “tommy’s what we used to call a joiner. had dreams of becoming a hero... wants to save the world.”

tommy is idealistic. he’s romantic. he’s optimistic, almost to the point of being fucking naive. thats why he enlisted in the army, thats why he enlisted in the fireflies—he wanted to feel good about himself and the world he was living in. he needed it to have some light at the end of the tunnel for all the bullshit to make sense. and yeah, he was wrong both times in joining up. we know that, joel knew that while it was happening, and tommy knows that in retrospect, too. i think jackson is the first place he really found true, real purpose—not the kind that is propagandized to you and goes up in smoke, but the kind that is well and truly earned. that’s why he is so loyal to jackson and to maria—they finally gave him was he desperately spent his life searching for

and im just saying, from maria’s perspective, she’s someone who lives for purpose. she lives for jackson and for it’s people and for it’s future, and she has to maintain some sense of idealism in the face of all that fucking ugliness to be able to mentally live im and run a place like jackson, to believe that it’ll work. i think that idealism she has, she sees reflected in tommy’s desperation to be a better person who’s fighting for a better life. she sees that need for redemption and goodness in him, that need for things to be fucking worth it, and hears she hears it in his story. she gets to relate to him with this in a way she doesnt GET TO RELATE with joel YET (we STILL HAVE TIME PEOPLE. WE HOLDIN OUT STRONG FOR THE JOEL AND MARIA BEST FRIEND AGENDA)

but to continue, THEN maria spends YEARS with tommy, getting to know him, getting to know his guilt. just like tess with joel, she’s sees the worst and the best of him and gets to fall in love with all of it. so of course there’s gonna be a bit of a bias and a blindspot, towards him—just like any of are other characters have weak spots for the people THEY fucking love

so that’s i guess why i think tommy is “accepted” by her, i guess, and there’s honestly way more them and their romance that i could make a whole separate post about but i’ll leave it there for now. back to joel and why he’s “damned,” which i don’t think he is

again, from what maria knows, he made an active CHOICE to stay in the lifestyle of smuggling and murdering and QZ bullshit, even after tommy chose to leave—and idk what y’all imagine joel and tess to be doing in those many years on their own, but it’s not fuckin picking flowers, for me. they’re dangerous, dangerous people—more dangerous that fedra, and more dangerous than the fireflies, if we’re being fucking real about it. and we LOVE tess and joel for this, or at least i do

but jackson is not a place where people get by with smuggling or backstreet deals or threats. it’s not supposed to be that place. we all LOVE jackson in fics and hcs and aus because it’s literally a place where joel and ellie finally get to breathe and not worry about their safety/survival first. and you know who keeps jackson that way????? MARIA. AND HE BEING FUCKING PICKING ABOUT WHO JACKSON LETS THE FUCK INSIDE

so yall just expect her to by YIPPY SKIPPY when joel, THE JOEL THE SUPER SMUGGLER MURDER COWBOY, strolls into town????? WITHOUT TESS, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MORE PERSONABLE AND REASONABLE ONE???? what????? she’d be crazy not to at least try to be a little intimidating, to make it clear to joel that he will not get away with any of that qz bullshit here. she’d be naive not to, and maria is anything but naive

and i know most people don’t like her for that “a bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad” “not always, at least” line, but i actually think it really fits so well in establishing that she’s not afraid of joel, not afraid of challenging him or making him own up to things he’s done. it’s just so so cool to me, i just can’t hate her for that????? she’s establishing with him that she knows what tommy knows about his time in the QZ, and she’s letting him know if that joel shows up here in jackson, there will be fucking problems for him. which i think is a completely fair warning????

so let’s continue. let’s talk about The Scene, the one with her and ellie, the one with the “tommy was following joel” line. ONE thing i’d like to point out about this scene—MARIA IS THE ONE TO TELL ELLIE ABOUT SARAH, NOT JOEL. AND THAT IS A BIG BIG BIG REASON FOR WHY SHE WARNS ELLIE NOT TO TRUST JOEL COMPLETELY

we know what joel and ellie have gone through, at this point, but maria has barely any idea. she sees that ellie has this fierce protectiveness and lots of secrets when it comes to her and joel, which like—can we all be fucking objective here for a second. this can SO easily and SO reasonably be interpreted as something sketchy going on between joel and ellie that maria should be concerned about.

(slight tw about older men-younger woman relationships bc im gonna be personal for a sec, its quick) we don’t know maria’s past or what she has seen or been through, but personally as someone who has been in a situation where an older man has taken advantage of my naivety in the past, i am now extremely hyper vigilant when it comes to young girls around older men in my personal life today. ellie and joel’s situation and how it looks would raise MJAOR red flags for me personally, if i was in maria’s position. that’s just a personal perspective have that really affects the way i view this scene (end tw)

and so maria finds out that joel has kept the fact that HE HAD A WHOLE ASS DAUGHTER from ellie?????? WOULD THAT NOT BE SUS AT ALL TO YALL???? i mean we know why joel doesn’t tell ellie, as gameplayers and watchers of the show, but again. maria is operating on the info she has right in front of her, which is that joel has been omitting maybe the biggest fact of his life from this young girl who is willing to defend and trust him with her entire life, even after she finds out she’s being lied to. this is alarming

so at this point, she’s questioning joel’s intentions with ellie, and in my opinion, it’s not at all unreasonable for her to do so. she then continues to press, because the red flags are flying and she wants ellie to be crystal clear on the kind of man she’s traveling with (“there are CLEARLY things you don’t know about joel” — “so then you understand my concerns”)

AND THEN ELLIE. BLESSED SMART AMAZING ELLIE COMES IN WITH THE DEFENSE—“and tommy did it too, are you worried about him?”—which like, i love this line. i love this moment. i think because i go so hard for maria a lot of y’all think i’m blind to when ellie is making points, but i 100% cheered her on when i first watched this scene, like i’m sure y’all did—because it’s true! it’s fair! if maria is going to judge joel for those things, she needs to extend the same judgement to tommy

the thing is, it’s still fucking true that, as i said earlier, tommy left that life. both the smuggling, and the fireflies—he chose to stop, while joel didn’t—he was smuggling literally up until the day him and tess found ellie, so. there’s that. she continues to judge joel and not tommy because she knows for sure that tommy has changed. she doesn’t know joel enough yet to see that he has changed, too

so then, the dreaded line: “tommy was following joel.” let’s talk about it.

i don’t love this line either, tbh! i think it’s a weak defense on maria’s part, and a weak line on the tlou hbo writers part—probably my least favorite line of maria’s overall. but i do get why she says it, and i kind of think i get the purpose??? i think????

it reminds me a lot of joel’s line, earlier, about tommy being a “joiner,” and i think it’s funny that, as opposite as joel and maria like to think they both are to each other, the way they describe tommy is pretty much the same. tommy is a “joiner” to joel and a “follower” to maria, and in all respects they both love and hate him for it. idk where i’m going with that exactly, just something interesting to think about in terms of the joel and maria best friend agenda

but i also think this line get’s taken out of context a lot, because the full line is “tommy was following joel, the way you are now.” maria says this line to lead into her main point, the really fucking important line in this scene: “be careful who you put your faith in. the only ones who can betray us, are the one’s we trust.”

WHICH IS TRUE. IT IS THE POINT. AND WHEN JOEL LIES TO ELLIE, HIDES SOMETHING FROM HER YET AGAIN at the end of the season/game, IT BECOMES A THEMATIC CLIMAX POINT THAT CONNECTS BOTH OF THE GAMES

maria is not saying this to “damn” joel—and i personally don’t think she is “damning” joel in the way you imply here, as there’s definitely potential for them to develop a relationship in s2 once she has more information about the truth of how he thinks of ellie. i think she’s warning ellie not to trust joel, because she doesn’t trust joel, at the end of the fucking day—and that’s about it. she trusts tommy in a way that she can’t quite trust joel yet, and why would she, at this point? it would make no sense for her to

so y’all can blame her and hate her for her distrust all you guys want (btw not necessarily talking to you, anon, ive just gotten some very nasty asks about maria from others so im talking to them rn!!!!!!!), but i’m sorry—you can’t tell me that it doesn’t at least make sense. she’s MARIA. she’s MADE OF SENSE