#and theyre not fucking wrong to be suspicious

[stealingpotatoes]

POTES GETS TRAUMATISED BY KOTOR!

i was gonna part 2 of this when I got to the end but i got to That Bit™ this morning and i need to tell everyone ever (im aware im probably towards the end of the game now but still plz dont spoil i assume theres more insane shit to come!!)

without further ado, sessions 7-9:

seven rhymes w revan so they better show tf up now

this game is so pretty esp when you land the ship

CARTH HAD A WIFE AND SON?????? CHRIST POOR GUY SAUL SUCKS

omg they never found the son that feels potentially relevant

'they didnt send a master bc itd draw too much attention' bastila, malak is obsessed with u rn i think that mission has been failed

wow so the council sent juhani with me just bc my vibes are so great

i might sound completely batshit insane for this but with all these redemption themes/talks i keep thinking abt 1. the fact i was so certain u played as revan 2. that revan is never given pronouns like ur supposed to pick their pronouns and 3. i have amnesia and im good at being a jedi (+ they clearly know smthn i dont). im not gonna say it bc i will look incredibly stupid if im wrong but do u pick up my theory. do u pick up what im putting down

ok that feels like the biggest reach in history PLEASE IM CLEARLY GOING CRAZY JUST SHOW ME REVANNN PLEASEEEEEEEE

i don’t even know if i have amnesia tbh but nobody’s given me a chance to prove i don’t

they could just be trying to make revan extra mysterious w the pronouns. i think im talking to carth too much, him not trusting anyone is making me not trust the game now im worried the lack of pronouns is there to hide their identity for some betrayal LMAO

oop i thought bringing zaalbar would be a good idea but apparently hes an exile. great

is stopping slavery even the jedi way cause qui-gonn sure as shit didnt do that in tpm

ZAALBAR'S DAD IS CHIEF??

i should bring Mission on this meet-zaalbar's-dad thing but shes 14 and i dont want to bring her into active combat scenarios ok

ok zaalbar's dad WAS chief. odds on him being this 'mad-claw'

A JEDI?

a grouchy hermit jedi!!!

why am i allowed to use the computer what previous user would make it usable for ME?????? SUSPICIOUS

what if im a wattpad character and revan is my older sibling or cousin

this is star wars, The Family Drama Franchise, im not ruling out that theyre my dad. my woke nonbinary dad

I LOVE THIS BUILDERS MYSTERY WHO TF WERE THEY. THEY MADE KASHYYK A FOREST!!! THEYRE SO COOL!!! I LOVE AN ANCIENT PEOPLES MYSTERY

was the builders my evil dad is this like assassins creed (everyone else has parental issues i'll feel left out if i don't have any)

big fan of how creepy the forest mandos are

im fighting little beasties and a massive beastie. this is just like jfo

well we dealt with a planet of slavers and helped with Zaalbar's daddy issues, now it's time to go to a new planet of slavers and help with Bastila's mummy issues!!!

DARTH BANDON (ill call him brandon out of disrespect) SHOWED UP AND IMMEDIATELY THREW A RANDOM GUARD INTO A TERMINAL INJURING 2 OTHERS. AND HE LOOKS LIKE AN EVIL SIMS 2 TOWNIE bet hes lowkey mid

malak you will never replace your best friend revan with this brandon fucker. and revan is going to be MY best friend soon when i find them

massive fan of how imperial tatooine looks near the same as it did in kotor 4000 years ago. this planet is the true no.1 shithole ever

btw the 8th fast n furious was called f8 of the furious

im still so scared that revan's pronoun sitch means they're gonna be someone i know like what if revan is already my best friend CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL ME I DONT HAVE AMNESIA SO I CAN RELAX AND AT LEAST RULE OUT THE CRACK THEORY OF ME BETRAYING MYSELF

whatever let's think about the fact i'm on the sand shithole. fuck this star map bastila where's your mum i want some soap opera drama

WHY DOES EVERYWHERE CHARGE ME 100 CREDITS

tatooine used to be a lush green planet??? arrakis who?

omg this guy knows carth does everyone on tatooine know my friends

HIS SON IS W THE SITH??????

'he must be a man by now' how old are you carth i thought you were like 30 at most. carth were you a child bride

when are we gonna run into someone who knows ME so i can dispute the amnesia allegations

AH! BASTILA'S BITCH-MUM JUST ASKED ME IF I TALK TO MY MOTHER LIKE THAT AND I GOT OPTIONS!! IS THIS EVIDENCE AGAINST MY AMNESIA???? AM I A REAL CHARACTER??????? GET IN!!! I HAD A MOTHER

i love how bastila n her mum havent seen each other in presumably like 20 years and yet their reunion was so immediately hostile

or more than 20 years who knows how old any of my companions are carth apparently has an adult son!!!

the only person i can trust is mission who is for sure 14 and the old men who are old man aged

thank god there was a guy who immediately told me the nonlethal option for the tuskens i thought i was gonna have to search for it

just did baby's first savescum cause i accidentally picked a dark side option and my friends were sad LOL

THE WAY HK47 SAID "shall i kill something for you? (:" LMAO IM IN LOVE W IT ALREADY

LMAOO HK IS ALMOST ALL THE WAY INTO THE DARK SIDE METER

having bastila and hk at the same time feels like having an angel and a devil on my shoulder every time they chime in on dialogue

i love them

MEATBAGS

"would you rather be caught with contraband that is very illegal or just a little illegal" "whats the difference" "about 20 years, master" HE IS MY FAVOURITE

love getting the murderdroid to do peace negotiations

hilarious that we're negotiating in our underwear

tatooine really makes you realise that this game is a walking simulator

LETS GO FIGHT A DRAGON

but respectfully. bc im a jedi

fun fact if you walk straight into the cave without using the hunter guy's mines then you will die and have to reload your save. not saying i know this from experience bc i just did exactly that and died or anything it's just a random fact i know

dragon: exploded

DARTH BRANDON??!??!?!?!

NOW TELL ME WHERE REVAN IS YOU SHITBRICKED SON OF A BITCH ok hes dead he cant tell me anything

bastila is drawn to landmines like a moth to a flame she loves getting exploded by them

BASTILA'S MUMMY ISSUES: SOLVED

i should be an intergalactic family issues counsellor. my character could've solved vaderkin and luke's whole thing in less than one film

bastila just PAID ME A COMPLIMENT INSTEAD OF NAGGING ME! CALL THE UH-- i guess star wars doesnt have the vatican just uhhh idk tell yoda when he's born

i love this game bc you get a very distinct feeling that they pulled '4000 years' out of a hat and didnt think about how the buildings or technology would be different. in 4000 years all that's changed on tatooine is how many towns there are but i guess it's the law of diminishing returns or whatever

WE’RE BEING TRACTOR-YOINKED???

why are we in our underwear. saul you pervert

what history between us

WHAT HISTORY SAUL. WHAT HISTORY

WHAT HISTORY?!!!!!!?!!????

what does he MEAN my loyalties are switching WHAT FUCKING HISTORYY

LMAOOO you can say the academy was on alderaan instead of dantooine thats such a good anh reference

THE JEDI ON DANTOOINE HAVE BEEN KILLED?!!?!!!! WHAT IM NO LONGER LMAO-ING

WHAT THE HELL CAN I HAVE A SECOND TO PROCESS EVERYTHIN

sorry carth i got you soooo electrocuted it was for the republic tho

seriously WHAT THE DANTOOINE JEDI CANT BE DEAD LIKE ??????? what????? no??? master tortimer???

LMAOOO HALF NAKED JOLEE IS GONNA KILL A SHIP

NAKED OLD MAN RAMPAGE LETS GOO!!

this is good we should get out of here but also can we ask saul and malak what the fuck he meant by history

presumably?? i was a sith before?? my amnesiacs??? like that seems certain going off saul's comments

god if the crack theory was right im gonna cry i dont even want to think abt the implications of that

at least my amnesia has been semi-confirmed. or i have an evil twin

LMAO JOLEE HAS NO ARMOUR PROFICIENCY ALL HE CAN WEAR IS HIS UNDIES. NAKED OLD MAN RAMPAGE CONTINUES!

“i have an army” “we have a naked old man”

rip naked old man times i have my equipment back

bastila thinks we can't fight malak but i literally have grenades we'll be fine

also i want to talk to him what the fuck did saul mean we had history. is MALAK my evil dad??? (i dont want 2 think abt the alternative option)

IM IN SPACE!!!!! IN A SPACE SUIT

what the hell do they put in these star wars games man, kotor is reaching jfo/js levels of "basically coke for me"

i cant think of a session nine pun i just wanna play it

CONTINUING ON FROM BEING IN SPACE LETS GO PUNCH SAUL IN SPACE

the crack theory can't be right its just a crack theory i'm not. like im just a normal woman i cant be ya know. i dont even wanna say it

SAUL PLEASE TELL ME I DONT HAVE AMNESIAAA

omg YES WE GET TO KILL SAUL!! GAME OF THE YEAR!!

HES ALIVE WHAT THE FUCK DID HE TELL YOU CARTH. WHAT THE FUCK DID THE WHOLE JEDI COUNCIL KNOW

CAN YOU GUYS TELL ME

WHY IS THE ONLY DIALOGUE OPTION LET'S MOVE ON. I DONT WANT TO MOVE ON TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT

ah! malak! you bitch!

REUNION? VENGEANCE?? OH GOD NO

NO

ITS SHOWING ME THE EVIDENCE

OH IT WAS CARTH WHO SAID ABT THE MEMORY WIPING IT WASNT A LOADING SCREEN TIP

NO

WHAT

NO??????????? NO

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRACK THEORY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRAZY REACH I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

wow revan (my???) eyes are fucked up

AGH HE CALLED ME REVAN

OH MY GOD

I WAS ALWAYS PLAYING AS REVAN

THIS WHOLE TIME. I WAS NEVER PLAYING AS SOME RANDOM CLOWN WHO IVE GROWN TO LOVE AS A CHARACTER. I WAS ALWAYS PLAYING AS REVAN

WHY IS THERE NOT A DIALOGUE OPTION TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK I NEED TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK

FUCK MAN ILL HAVE ONE IN REAL LIFE AT THIS RATE THERES NO WAY

i dont feel like im abt to cry but i kind of want to cry anyway what the HELL MAN

IT GETS WORSE EVERY TIME HE CALLS ME REVAN IM IN MROE AND MORE SHOCK

LIKE IVE BEEN PHYSICALLY GASPING ON REPEAT N SAYING NO OUT LOUD. IF I WAS HOME ALONE I THINK ID BE SCREAMING

there has got to be a speneva (space geneva) convention against this this seems so illegal

i literally cannot work out if this is better or worse than death. tbh it is death like the body lives but they stole my fucking brain man what the hell BASTILA I THOUGHT WE WERE FUCKING FRIENDS

oh my god she said "to capture revan… to capture you" WHY DOES IT HURT MORE WHEN MY FRIEND BASTILA CALLS ME REVAN

STOP CALLING ME REVAN MY NAME IS LEALA MACHAI THATS THE NAME IVE HAD FOR THE LAST 16 HOURS THATS MY NAME SHUT UP SHUT UP

NO STOP CALLING ME REVAN BASTILA!!!!

malaks a fuckin pussy he keeps running away

WHAT NO BASTILA DONT SACRIFICE YOURSELF DONT DO THAT STOP BASTILA WE CAN TAKE HIM IVE BEEN BEATING HIM 1V1 HES FUCKING EASY TO FIGHT COME BACK

NO I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER!!!!!!! THATS;. SHE LIED TO ME BUT SHES STILL MY FRIEND BASTILA NO CARTH I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER I NEED TO TALK TO HER

jesus mary joseph and the little donkey im revan. what the hell. im revan

this whole time

JOLEE IS STILL NAKED LMAO

yes mission! yes i love you yes it just matters who i am now yes exactly

CARTH DONT CALL ME REVAN I WILL START CRYING

thank you mission and zaalbar youre real ones

THANK U CANDEROUS

jolee knew but im not pissed off he wanted me to find out on my own and it wasnt his place to say, candy-o respects my/revan’s defeating his ppl and is the first person to make revan not sound like a slur

HK WAS MY DROID THIS WHOLE TIME?? HE WAS MY ASSASSIN DROID???????? LMAO AMAZING ok i feel less bad i can be revan if it means hk was mine all along

omg yay that means i DID run into someone i knew on tatooine just like carth and bastila!

tatooine must be crazy to do as the last planet lmao like does hk immediately go WADDUP MASTER and you cant even solve bastila's mummy issues bc shes not there. good thing i already did it

LMAOO CANDEROUS BEING LIKE girl its the force anything can happen its not just convenient

am i the force's specialest girl

yay carth listened to everyone and UNDERSTOOD THAT WHATEVER SHOCK HES FEELING I AM FEELING IT MUCH MUCH WORSE GODDAMNIT

agh no what the hell i just have to go about my day now?? i just have to work now????? until i can play the rest later?? when that just happened???????? i need bereavement leave

ive closed the game but im just blankly staring at my computer screen. what the hell. what the hell man

i have never felt so violated and traumatised by a bunch of pixels

somehow it feels worse that i basically clocked it but then was immediately like nahhh thats an insane reach, anyway! like somehow that feels worse than if i'd just never thought it was a possibility

what the fuck man what the fuck

POTES SEMI-LIVEBLOGS KOTOR!

ive been writing my thoughts in the notes app but due to popular demand (one person asked for it) i'm posting my liveblogging DO NOT SAY/TAG/COMMENT SPOILERS PLEASE i read tags

warning im a yapper, im 10 hours in and theres a lot already (separated into sessions):

SESSION 1

whos this clown i thought i would be playing as revan

ive been too spoiled by dragon age origins this character creator sucks ass

only human???? ): fr?? ill just imagine her different in my brain or some shit

my life is being mansplained to me. is this bad writing or do i have amnesiacs

hes meta now??? hes talking abt the screen controls?????

omg a jedi and an evil jediii

omg their asses suckedddd they both died immediately

i <3 bringing a sword to a gun fight

WHY R THERE SO MANY SITH WHERE IS TJE RULE OF TWO

i clicked a workbench and it said lightsaber so either i get a lightsaber or i get a jedi friend whose lightsaber i can steal if im careful

I assume u play as revan in kotor2 so im gonna buy that now so i can play it when im done playing w this clown

i got light side points im getting a good grade in game morality which is something both normal to want and possible to achieve

everyone keeps saying revan is dead but thats my friend revan from tumblr hes clearly alive. or they???

my characters ass is distractingly present onscreen

huge fan of the way everyone collapsed drunk what the FUCK was in that wine

ok these sith ppl might be the bad guys but their armour is DRIPPY AS FUCK

ideologically i dont agree w the sith but they kinda went off w the fits

googling how to become a sith without being evil cause they have Drip

SESSION 2

i paid £1.19 to see revan he better show up in this game at some point

all these sith n i still cant find one revan….. stop faking ur death rn come out n talk to me babygirl this isnt like u….

why can i be light/dark side if im not a jedi. give me a laser sword

maybe this jedi gyal will know where revan is faking his death. or give me a fuckin lightsaber PLEASEEE

was just thinking 'does this game have romance' and then carth called me beautiful. i dont think im gonna romance anyone until i get this amnesia sorted

why is carth questioning me so much abt the crash im pretty sure i have amnesia

why tf did the jedi lady have me transferred to this ship are we in lesbians with each other???

carth's not wrong it is suspicious but i lowkey have amnesia so i coulda done that i coulda not

a lot of clone wars voice actors in this. was lucasfilm so broke in the 2000s that they could only afford the same 3 VAs for every project

mission is 14??????? we need to get my girl back in school

SESH 3

tale as old as time i fucking suck at racing games

ok i didnt realise you had to mash click i won

REVAN!!! REVAN!!!!!!!!!

why am i dreaming abt revan tho. real as hell but ?????

lmao cringe revan getting blown up. i thought the jedi beat rev-meister in a fight but no. accident

"such visions are often a sign of force sensitivity" COOL YAY GIVE ME A LIGHTSABER

BASTILLE LOST HER FUCKING LIGHTSABER??

CARTH IS RIGHT THATS LIKE DAY ONE JEDI SHIT. ok i still love her even tho shes a bit of a bitch and also doesnt have a saber

if we find a lightsaber im taking it first tho

whys carth getting weird abt me being weird that he doesnt trust me. i just wanna be friends mate

SESH IV: A NEW HOPE

'i mean no disrespect, but perhaps one of the male slaves could serve you better' i went in here to start a slave revolution and instead got called a lesbo

LMAO THERES A SPICE LAB???? WALTER WHITE WHERE ARE YOU

thats insaneee they blew up BILLIONS of people to get to one jedi?????? these sith arent fucking around theyre scary

UM THIS IS CRAZY GRAPHICS THE LIGHTING IS CLEARER/DARKER WHEN I COVER THE SUN W THE SHIP EDGE?? 2003 IS THE YEAR OF THE FUTURE

someone just called me padawan i kinda assumed i was in my late 20s do i just have baby vibes

all the jedi in the movies are so chill but every kotor jedi i've met so far has been a bit of a bitch

YO THEY HAVE A YODA!!! its not THE yoda but

cool so these guys are just the regional managers at best. your asses are not the council

why can everyone smell my force juju so strong

THATS STRAIGHT UP YODA'S CLONE WARS VA

why does fake yoda not blink both eyes at the same time. im calling him master tortimer he reminds me of the animal crossing mayor

bastila there was no need for such a fancy bow

malak is like evil aang

revan is so much shorter than malak omg

are me and bastila sharing dreams. are we both obsessed w revan

poor mission ):

WHAT WAS MASTER TORTIMER ABT TO SAY????????? EVER SINCE WHEN??? DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE MY AMNESIACS????? DID BASTILA TELL U SMTHN MORE WHEN I WASNT IN THE ROOM???

im intrigued i like this whole hidden jedi shtick its very compelling. so is whatever theyre hiding from me

kinda surprising no jedi found me before tho given my force juju is so strong

IM A LEGIT JEDI NOW??? SICK!!!

does revan rlly not have pronouns i thought that was a tumblr thing but they straight up are a nonbinary icon ive never heard a single pronoun used. revan's pronouns are revan/revan's

damn revan seems so cool in these stories (charismatic war hero that convinced their troops to join them as conqueror?? julius caesar) and yet all we've seen them do onscreen is get blown up and die by accident

A YEAR AGO? the way they were talking i assumed revan died like. a week before the game started

master uh i forgot his name he has martin scorcese vibes said revan was a paragon of the jedi so what im getting is that all jedi gifted kids turn evil

even if i didnt know revan as a tumblr darling id KNOW revan has to be alive somewhere they way everyone talks abt them is too cool for a character who exploded and died. i think. i hope. I PAID £1.19 TO MEET REVAN

'only you and bastila can stop malak' seriously????? just us two?? ive been a jedi for like, 6 minutes and you guys keep calling bastila young???? do you guys not wanna help??

omg im getting carth to traumadump! <3

HE WAS ON REVAN'S ARMY>??

i totally knew the jedi code and did not have to google it whatsoever

they rlly said fuck going to illum heres a crystal from the bin

he told me id be a great sentinel and i was like i know but i want blue cause i dont wanna be matchies with bastila

OGH!!! I HAVE A LIGHTSABER!!!! THIS IS GAME OF THE YEAR!!!!

omg i made my lightsaber perfectlyyy which is rare <3 getting a good grade in jedi

maybe i was a travelling lightsaber salesman before my amnesia

seriously though WHO was i everyone's kinda stopped acting like i have amnesia since the first mission BUT IVE PLAYED DRAGON AGE THAT GIVES YOU OPPORTUNITIES TO RP UR PAST. THIS DOESNT. EITHER THIS GAME IS BAD (but i love it so its not) OR I HAVE RETROGRADE AMNESIA

also everyone keeps being like "Oh ur force juju is so strong" AND NOBODY FOUND ME TIL NOW??? suspicious. did getting a really bad concussion activate the force in me

im too confused and amnesiac'd to think abt anything except the fact i have a glowing stick now

FSESH FIVE:

big fan of using aliens to avoid having to get VAs to read every line

oh so carth's boyfriend saul betrayed him and became leader of the sith fleet so he has trust issues

well he needs to calm down. i can't betray him cause i dont know what the fuck is happening

yooo i love the design differences on the mandalorians

oh my god this lady wanted to fuck her droid cause it was her husband's. and then it killed itself. wtf. game of the year tho

wtf they jebaited this juhani person into going dark side but then i talked her out of it. that seems a bit mean of them

i hope she can join my party she looks too unique to be a random npc

ive been thinking and I might be going crazy but there was a loading screen tip ages ago that said jedis could wipe ppl's mind and all i thought at the time was 'fuck the shitshow acolyte didnt make that up'. but what if one of them wiped MY memory and i used to be a jedi or smthn ????????

cause they keep being like ur weirdly good at this??? did bastila steal my memories??????????

I KNOW I HAVE AMNESIA!! EVEN IF EVERYONE DOESN'T BRING IT UP BC THEYRE PROBABLY TRYING TO SAVE MY FEELINGS

if i dont have amnesia and im just deeping the fact the opening had my life being mansplained then im gonna look real stupid

anyway time 2 go to the fuckshit ruins cave where r-dog and malak went to

"it must be referring to revan. the dark lord and malak--" revan's pronouns are revan/thedarklord

bastila said theres no mention of the Builders in the archives. does she just know every text off by heart

THIS DROID IS 20K YEARS OLD ???

omg i can equip 2 lightsabers at once. game of the year

OK I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THE AMNESIA BASTILA IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY BACKGROUND THAT I CAN ANSWER. I REPEAT I DO NOT HAVE AMNESIA

ok i didnt get choices and i didnt really uh… say anything that i didnt already get told im still not ruling out amnesia

also booo i didnt get to find out how old i was

master tortimer rlly looks like the ultimate ketamine yoda

LMAO THERE WAS A DIALOGUE OPTION 2 CALL JUHANI A CATGIRL

omg kashyyk from jedi fallen order!!!

I CAN UPGRADE MY LIGHTSABER THIS IS JUST LIKE JFO

omg this ship is fun i wish everyone had personalised bunk spaces like hfw… a game which came out 19 years after this i should probably just take what we have

im gonna start w manaan cause im p sure thats what B-dog said n its the same language the droid was speakin

omg hyperspace from star wars

THE GUY THE BUILDING FELL ON???

am i having dreams abt revan bc bastila killed revan and im connected to her this is so roundabout

maybe i'd sleep better if my ponytail wasnt clipping into the pillow

[kiwi accent] six

carth needs a xanax every time i think we're friends he stops trusting me

also lmao he actually pointed out how wild it was that a day one padawan is being sent on this uber important mission and HES RIGHT IT IS WEIRD!! i thought it was main character logic but he's calling it out

i really really like the sense of unease that's setting in like at first i thought it was just cause im not used to 2003 games but no this is on purpose bc carth my friend carth keeps calling it out

THERE IS A CHILD ON MY SHIP ??????????????????

lmao the representative for menaan is roland wann. its like poetry it rhymes

there are no cameras in the sith hangar <3 rookie error i can commit crimes now

bastila's favourite hobby is getting shot and walking into my grenades

this isnt a combat system this is a missing system

I GOT ARRESTED???? IM JUST A GIRL

nvm i had a datapad that said the sith were evil so theyve let me go free and we're besties

why do i feel like ive just walked into an underwater horror mission

this suit waddles at the speed of a penguin on fentanyl

i tamed the beastie this is like how to train your dragon

MALAK FIRED ON REVAN?????? WERENT THEY BEST FRIENDS???????

but maybe revan escaped when bastila wasnt looking THEYRE FINE THEYRE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I BELIEVE

so hopefully when we run into revan they'll be like agh i changed my ways cause of the being shot thing and they'll be my bestie

great news i successfully communicated w the ship child and gave her back to dantooine. my girl has shockingly good linguisitics skills

bastila is so dour "oh watch out for the dark side" GIRL I AM. I NEED TO GET THE BEST GRADE IN GAME MORALITY

ok OFF TO KASHYYK i hope cal kestis is there… thru the force i guess… bc he wont be born for another 4000 years but its whatever

omg you'll never guess what. another vision. wow its one of the thangs. cool this is a tomorrow me problem

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

hate when your bank's like "thats a suspicious purchase" and youre like,,, yeah, yeah it is. youre correct, but please approve it anyway.

anyway, for anyone in the uk (maybe elsewhere idk) who wants a ps5, you can get them for £429.99 plus shipping on Game today and it comes with the new fifa game and an extra product on top for free.

[jrueships]

im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐

[corknaut]

got a bad haircut yesterdayand my mom was gleefully talking on the phone today about how she and everyone else at her choir practice lied and reassured me a lot that it looked good andbcute when i came back from the salon. and the worst part is i fell for it. im a dog

[starboundsingularities]

good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder

#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess

7 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

date posted: june 23, 2010

1,834,853 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though

🧊 just--ice Follow

okay now they're just making lawyers up

#also didn't mvk die or something?

28,932 notes

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder

🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow

so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

are you gonna address the copaganda thing or

1,092 notes

🌻 attorneybout Follow

he's so. 😳

📂 trialanderror Follow

why is he defending

📂 trialanderror Follow

OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???

24,374 notes

🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow

i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all

🥜 liberdeez Follow

op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.

🔐 wrightorwrong Follow

hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

net 0 information post

#thanks again lawblr

94,834 notes

🍒 cherriescoola Follow

btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life

2,284 notes

🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow

December 28, 2016

YES!!!

702,947 notes

🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow

guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do

🔪 violencekilling Follow

you gotta let him rob you that's the law

302,948 notes

👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow

look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name

💼 courtofwaw Follow

bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late

62,193 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited

#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore

7,293 notes

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs

🌈 lawsbian Follow

the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.

12,293 notes

🔮 inhighspirits Follow

why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy

837,495 notes

💞 lawveyourself Follow

seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree

💞 lawveyourself Follow

what do you mean evidence fraud

503,893 notes

🎧 instrumentalillness Follow

fuck you *unguilties your love*

384,568 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me

[python333]

im in love with your content omg😭 your writing style is just chefs kiss

can i req a reader with the tf141 being on a mission and hearing an enemy say something in british slang and they just go "what did they just say.." in comms? like a reader who doesnt know anything about slang like not even that bars in the uk r called pubs (if im not wrong) and just nods whenever a private talks in slang, and their brain is just trying to figure out what they just said?

its just a really silly plot with a silly reader :3

pardon? — python333

— — — —

synopsis just as the req says, you know nothing about british slang and on a mission the enemy speaks british and you dont know what theyre saying :3

relationships platonic!taskforce 141 & reader.

characters cap. price, soap, ghost, gaz.

word count 2.6k

warnings 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].

note HI YES I LOVE THIS REQ!! i take every opportunity i can to make fun of british people so this is right up my alley!! tysm for the compliments hjfhdjskf recently ive been getting more praise on my works and it makes me so happy i love yall. again, sorry if this sounds a little rushed or if any parts are incoherent, i wrote this at 12/1am and im both more productive and write more nonsense at this time + this one is wayyyy shorter than ones i usually do because i didnt know what else to write for it so i apologize for that as well! this is pure fluff and humor (i like to think im funny) so enjoy!!

“—eah, and now we have to camp out here ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do it ‘imself, so I feel like we should have a chat with the others, see if they’re willing to leg it out of here with us,” An enemy soldier suggests to you, his British accent thick enough that you think it might be cockney.

You cross your arms to hide your shaking hands and nod in agreement, as if you understood anything he said, and put on the same shitty British accent you’d been using for the past five minutes you’d been talking to this guy.

“Yeah, yeah, totally,” You agree, clearing your throat before asking, “You know where the others are stationed?”

“You don’t?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you suspiciously.

“Mate, all the orders I was given went in one ear and out the other,” You sigh, holding back a wince at your desperate attempt to sound more natural using British slang, “I just know I’ve got to stand out here and shoot the enemy.”

The enemy eyes you suspiciously and he takes a moment to try and read your face before he says, “I don’t think I’ve seen you before, actually. Which would be weird, if we’re in the same platoon, don’t you—” 

You sigh and quickly pull out the small switchblade you had hanging on your belt, stabbing the enemy in the neck before he can say anything else and grabbing him before he can drop to the ground, putting a hand behind his back as you half lead half drag him into a dark alleyway beside the building he was stationed outside of. 

You quickly set him down into a sitting position and take your knife out of his throat, tucking the blade back into the handle before adjusting it to latch onto your belt once again, letting out a frustrated huff as you stare at the now dead man in front of you. 

“[c/n], how copy?” Price’s voice crackles through on your ear piece. 

You push in the PTT button and lower your voice, “Copy, I fucked up a little bit. One of the guys was onto me.”

“You were there for five bloody minutes,” Gaz’s voice rings through, his tone both disbelieving and amused, “How’d he already catch onto you?” 

“The British are smarter than I thought,” You breathe out, standing up and looking around for a ladder to climb to get to higher ground before anyone spots you. You go farther into the alley and find an old, rusty ladder with rungs that look like they’d snap if someone sneezed on them too hard—perfect for climbing up.

You wrinkle your nose as your hand makes contact with one of the rungs but don’t say anything otherwise, instead wordlessly hauling yourself up onto the ladder. 

“Reminder that there’s three British people with you, currently,” Ghost’s deadpan tone crackles, his breathing heavy, as you can tell he’s whispering into his mic, “All of which are very smart.”

“I caught you reading the instructions on a box of tea bags the other day, don’t fuckin’ talk right now,” You grumble, slowly climbing up the ladder, hating the creaking noises it makes as you do. It sounds like it’s going to snap at any minute, and you try to go up as fast as you can, but one wrong move and you’ll easily slip, some of the rust that flakes off of the ladder enough to make you slip up. 

“They were circles,” Ghost says, exasperated, “I didn’t know if that made a difference.” 

“I thought British people were supposed to know everything about tea,” You roll your eyes, putting your hand on the next rusty rung up on the ladder. 

“Yeah, L.t,” Soap agrees with you teasingly, the wind hitting his mic, making it obvious that he’s running, “Thought ye Brits were s’possed to ken everything ‘bout tea.” 

You laugh quietly to yourself as you finally make it to the top of the building, the top just high enough for you to look at the few soldiers below and hear a majority of their conversations without them noticing you.

You get to the edge of the rooftop and pull the sniper rifle you’d been carrying around off of your back, glad to finally be back in your element rather than trying to get in undercover, and set it up. 

You pull the stand out and set it on the edge of the roof, and look through the scope of the rifle, lining it up so that it’s aiming directly at one of the soldier’s heads, specifically the one that was standing directly out of the entrance you originally were meant to try and get into—but doing this didn’t change much.

Regardless of if you got in or not, he would’ve died, and the others would’ve gotten in too. You getting in first was just meant to make it more efficient.

You press down on the PTT button on your earpiece as you look through the scope of your sniper rifle, keeping the aim on the soldier in front of the entrance, “The guy in front of the entrance is just standing still, so whenever you need me to, I can shoot ‘im down.” 

“I don’t think we need to get in just yet,” Price hums, “But maybe in a minute.” “M’kay,” You hum, taking your eye away from the scope, instead just looking over at the enemy soldiers. You lay on your stomach, leaning your head down a bit to try and listen in on the enemy’s conversations easier, trying your best not to make yourself too obvious.

The conversations were pretty boring and almost the same for every soldier you’d eavesdropped on, for the most part. Enemy soldiers joking around, talking about what they’ll do once they’re on leave—like they would be able to do that after you completed your assignment—and just some general team camaraderie.

The lackluster subjects of their conversations weren’t bad at all, no, in fact, you could care less what they talk about. 

It was their stupid accents you hated. 

Are you surrounded by British people everyday? Yes. Does that stop you from hating on the British everyday? No. Okay, maybe the accents aren’t stupid, but God, they had the thickest cockney accents you’d heard in your entire life, and it was making your eavesdropping so much harder, and had almost been the reason you were given away earlier.

They used slang words that you’re certain you’ve never heard before in your life, and used analogies that didn’t even make sense—you heard one of them use the words, verbatim, ‘Don’t get stroppy’. Stroppy? Stroppy? 

You narrow your eyes down at the soldiers below you, listening to a conversation they’d just started up. 

“—eah, ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do anything about it, so now we have to camp out here and wait for somethin’ to happen,” One of the soldiers scoffs, “I’m telling you, man, if I see that skull-masked bloke runnin’ ‘round out here, I’m legging it from ‘im immediately.” 

You draw your eyebrows together in confusion, but you stay silent for now. Isn’t that exactly what the other soldier said? Are they like a hive mind or something?

“You’re legging it?” The other soldier asked, sounding almost incredulous, “What happened to you chattin’ to some of the others about your loyalty and what not?” “All that’s irrelevant when the fuckin’ grim reaper rolls around and starts murkin’ people like he’s been doing for the entirety we’ve been here, mate,” The first soldier laughs, “You think I wanna be here when he does that?” 

“Don’t act like a prat about it, man��fuckin’ talking’ like you can outrun him.” “A prat? I’m not—” You tune out the rest of their argument and instead try and figure out what they were saying.

A prat? Legging it? Can’t be arsed? What the fuck? You push the PTT button on your earpiece and as quietly as you can, you ask, “I need some help. Serious help. Life or death situation.” Immediately, Price’s voice rings through, “What? What is it? What happened?” “The soldiers are British and I can’t tell what they’re saying,” You answer, ignoring Price’s relieved sigh on his end, “I need help.” “Jesus, fuck, don’t scare me like that,” Price sighs, taking a few breaths before continuing, “Alright, what do you need help with?” 

“Figuring out what they’re saying.” This time, you hear Gaz’s voice crackle through, “Well, you’ve got three British people here—tell us what he’s saying.” 

“One of the guys was talking about ‘legging it’ if he saw Ghost heading towards him, and talked about Ghost ‘murking’ people, and then the other guy he was talking to told him he was being a ‘prat’ about it and he got all offended,” You eloquently say into the earpiece, watching as the argument gets a little more heated. You can hear an amused huff from Ghost on his end and a scoff from Soap in return. 

“They’re just saying they’re gonna run away if they see Ghost because he’s been killing a lot of their soldiers, and the other guy said he was being a prat, which I guess is like…” Gaz pauses to think of how to explain the slang term before settling on, “Someone who’s kind of full of themselves, I guess. Or ignorant. Either or.” 

“They couldn’t just say that?” You muse quietly, still staring down at the enemy soldiers. 

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that,” Price’s voice cuts through, “Go ahead and shoot the guy down. I’m ready to head in.”

“Got it,” You hum, quickly putting your eye back up to your scope and readjusting it a bit before quietly warning, “Shooting him now.” 

You pull the trigger and the enemy goes down immediately, and through your scope you can see the small twitching of his body as the other soldier starts to freak out.

You quickly aim the gun at his still-alive friend and shoot him down as well, silently congratulating yourself on your good aim and continuing to look through the scope, watching as Price runs in with Gaz and a few other soldiers. 

They struggle with the door for a moment and you sigh before pressing in the PTT button on your earpiece and quietly saying, “Price, Gaz, move away from the door for a sec.”

Wordlessly, they do as they’re told, and you take the opportunity to line up the gun’s aim with the complex electronic panel on the outside of the door and pull the trigger, shooting the most crucial part of the panel, causing it’s functions to disrupt and as a result, the doors open. 

“Thanks for that,” Gaz breathes out as Price kicks open the door, his voice cut off a bit at the end as he takes his hand off the PTT button too quickly in order to follow after Price. 

“Uh huh. Of course,” You say offhandedly, taking your eye away from the scope of your sniper rifle and listening to the loud sirens go off in the facility the others break into, and push yourself up so that you can sit up straight to properly watch it. You grunt as you sit up, stretching your arms out for a moment before letting them fall into your lap. 

“Are they in?” Soap asks, curious, his voice a little strained and breathy. There’s no loud gusts of wind coming through his mic anymore, and you look around for a moment, before your eyes catch on to him climbing up a ladder to get to the rooftop adjacent to yours.

Your lips twitch into a smile at the sight of him completely clueless to your presence and you press your PTT button to talk. 

“Yeah, they’re in,” You say, watching as he finally gets to the rooftop, “Didn’t you hear the sirens?” 

You can see Soap’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion for a moment, and he looks around for a moment before finally seeing you on the rooftop directly next to his, and he looks surprised for a moment before a grin splits across his face. You see him press the PTT button on his mic as well. 

“I did, yeah, just wanted tae be sure,” He says into his mic, looking right at you as he does, “It’s a surprise seeing you here.” 

“Imagine how I feel,” You muse, almost to yourself, before looking away from Soap and speaking up, “Ghost, you don’t wanna join us on the rooftops?” 

“Absolutely not,” He replies almost immediately, making you huff out a small laugh and Soap’s grin grow, “I’m perfectly fine on the ground.” 

“Where are you?” You ask, scanning the area around you for Ghost, “I feel like I haven’t seen you this whole time.” 

“I’m just behind the facility,” Ghost hums, voice still a low whisper, “I’m gonna be heading in once Gaz and Price make it to the second floor to clean up the first, in case there’s anyone left.” 

“You’ve been behind the facility this whole time?” Soap’s voice cuts through, surprised by the fact. 

“Mhm,” Ghost hums. 

“It’s a bit boring back there, innit?” Gaz’s voice crackles through, his voice a little breathy, “You can sweep the first floor, by the way. Should be nobody left, though. Pretty sure all the soldiers were just faffing around, not doing much.” 

“Fucking faffing around?” You ask incredulously to yourself, though apparently your voice is loud enough to make Soap chuckle. 

As if he can read your mind, Price’s voice comes through, “Faffing around is just doing nothing or doing nothing particularly productive, [c/n].” 

You sigh and push your PTT button this time, talking into your mic, “You couldn’t just say that, Gaz? You had to say something silly like faffing around?” 

“It’s not silly,” Gaz says, his frown audible, “They were faffing around.” 

“Jesus, fuck,” You breathe out, laughing lightly, “It’s totally silly.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yeah it is.”

“No it’s—” 

“I just want one day where you two don’t start up stupid arguments like this,” Price’s tired sigh comes through, “Just one day, I beg of you both.” 

“Aw, Captain, we were just faffing around,” You whine playfully, the misuse of the slang making Soap cover his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughter and you hear Ghost groan into his mic. 

“That is absolutely not how you use that,” Gaz says, though you can hear some laughter in his voice—from your very non-British accent saying British phrases, you presume, a small grin gracing your lips at the thought. 

“It sounded natural to me,” You lie straight through your teeth, shrugging even though only Soap can see you. 

“You’re insufferable,” Gaz groans, making you laugh quietly, “Never use British slang again, please.” 

“What if I get a British accent? Will that fix it?”

“Nothing can fix what you’ve said today, [c/n].”

“Well that’s dramatic,” You scoff, “I’ll learn British just for you guys.” 

“Holy shit, please stop talking,” Price’s exasperated voice interrupts the both of you, “You’re both insufferable. Drop it.” 

“… I don’t think I will,” You say defiantly, making all three British people in the same voice channel as you groan in unison, the sound sounding like some sort of middle school choir trying to sing in harmony, “I’ll use Duolingo or something to learn it.” 

“British isn’t a language you learn, you muppet,” Price grumbles, making you snort. 

“Muppet?” 

“It’s someone who’s dumb and clueless and can’t take a hint, like you,” Ghost defines, “And Soap, most of the time.” 

“Daen’t go draggin’ mae into this,” Soap’s voice quickly cuts through, “I haven’t said onything.” 

“Uh, yes you absolutely did, earlier, remember?” Gaz argues, ignoring Price’s protests for him to stop arguing, “About Ghost being stupid with the tea thing?” 

“Oh, I’ll have you all know—” 

“Ghost, don’t start—” 

You listen as the once casual, teasing conversation turns into an argument and chuckle quietly to yourself, knowing that they’d be arguing about this until you all finished your assignment.

[emergency-vehicle]

TF1 OptiRatch headcanons, go!!!!

...oh my god... so i just spent the last two ish hours writing a little drabble that has been stuck inside my brain, only for tumblr to make me take a screenshot of it instead of letting me copy paste the whole thing. anyway, irrelevant. the drabble has allowed me to come up with this list of headcanons!

Ratchet

the first time orion and ratchet meet is immediately after the iacon 5000

ratchet HATES the iacon 5000. he thinks its an utter waste of time and resources.

when they meet, D-16 is still very mad and he kind of lashes out at Ratchet too, but Ratchet is like ??? aint no way this bot is mad at me but in the suspicious way, not the angry way

anyway, the entire situation makes ratchet think theyre conjunxes, its very funny.

still ratchet gets absolutely enraptured by orion

big, blue doe eyes are his weakness, and boy howdy does orion pax possess those.

orion is actually very free with his field and while it kind of startles ratchet at first, he realizes that he really likes the way orion's field feels

orion is still very, very giddy and coming down from the adrenaline rush of the race. he's all smiles and laughs and jokes, which pulls ratchet in even more

the best way to describe him is absolutely enigmatic

without even realizing it, ratchet accidentally spends way more time with orion than he does D-16.

Ratchet has always been...suspicious of cogless bots. He knows that there is something seriously wrong. Not with the bots themselves, but with the fact that they have no cogs.

While the medical records had been wiped clean regarding the fact that all bots are born with cogs (unbeknownst to ratchet), he finds it very curious that bots are born with the place for a cog, but no cog itself.

so, ratchet has begun to do some digging on the side. mostly just making notes of patients regarding their frame types and the curious ailments they come in with

orion is not exempt from this

his hands are much too delicate for mining, far more sensitive and dexterous than sturdy and forged for manual labor.

he has to keep reminding himself that theyre not in his private office, nor is this something that he can look into.

ratchet really, really wants to be the one to repair orion's hands. anything to see this very curious bot one more time

D-16 is not having it.

when ratchet leaves he has to catch his breath. it was so hard for him to be professional when orion's big eyes were staring at him like he held all the knowledge of the universe

ratchet does not consider himself someone who falls easily, nor does he really consider himself romantic at all

even then, he felt this pull towards orion. he chalks it up to curiosity, even though it's obviously deeper than that.

plus its not like it even matters, ratchet wouldve sworn up and down that orion and d-16 were a thing.

Orion Pax

orion is fucking grateful that finally it's not just him and D-16 in the room

dgmw, he loves D-16 with his whole chest, but orion always, always struggled with him when he gets like this. mans is not emotionally intelligent enough to deal with his bestie's BPD (yes this is my personal D-16 headcanon, i will die on this hill)

so when ratchet comes in, he almost instantly relaxes

he thinks ratchet is kind of stuffy at first, like he's obviously uncomfortable and the way he talks is very indicative of that

orion immediately wants to help him loosen up. man cannot deal with two socially inept bots at one time. so he opens his field to him

to his surprise, ratchet reciprocates, but only slightly

orion ALSO likes the way ratchet's field matches with his. instant "i want to be your friend" vibes here

when ratchet pays special attention to his hands, orion is internally screaming the entire time

hes generally not used to gentle touch, and theres something about the way that ratchet is holding his hands that makes his spark flutter

he is desperately spinning code so his aux fans don't kick on. this guy gets flustered so easy. he cannot bear the thought of D-16 making fun of him for almost instantly getting a crush on this doctor

that doesnt stop his processor from failing to form thoughts. he knows ratchet is asking him important questions, but all he can think is "pretty mech touching my hands"

if orion didnt already have his gay awakening, this would've been it

i feel like after ratchet leaves theres a good 15 minutes of silence between him and D-16 where orion is just trying to get his Gay Thoughts(tm) under control

final yapping

in the end, i think its incredibly funny to make orion pax like this far less mature version of optimus. he feels everything x10 and doesn't really know what to do with the feelings, so he just kind of acts like a fool.

meanwhile ratchet is out here like "yeah he's pretty but i have a job to do." that doesn't mean orion doesn't haunt his thoughts after though. he definitely does. the image of his big eyes staring at him won't leave ratchet for a long time.

theyre both gay fools. the tiny crush is mutual. its forgotten about though throughout the events of the movie. orion has much more important things to worry about than a pretty doctor who gently held his hands.

the next time they see each other is after orion became optimus. this was for a standard check up, in which ratchet had to run a full diagnostic of him. ratchet can't help but begin ranting about how he knew something was up with sentinel, with the cogless bots, with that entire fucking situation.

the check up ends with optimus listening to this clearly autistic (positive) mech explain every red string he put together, and how the revolution confirmed all of his missing pieces. (im projecting here because this is my personal brand of autism)

tbh, optimus is impressed. they quickly do become friends, and as the war begins, he realizes that ratchet is a very talented doctor and quickly they earn each others trust. they become good friends, too. optimus likes to listen to ratchet talk about science, talk about new medical breakthroughs. he will often bring ratchet decepticon medical tech he finds out in the field for him to reverse engineer.

optimus absolutely enables ratchet's special interest (medicine) and ratchet absolutely loves optimus for it.

in conclusion, theyre gay neurodivergents your honor.

[sleepiestwizard]

okay im gonna put all my thoughts about the hotguy zinethology on here based on the incoherent ramblings my friends received while i was reading it

(obviously spoilers below the cut)

okay so first of all the first part was SO fucking funny i cried laughing multiple times

the first time i saw cute guy i SCREAMED

HOTGUY TRYING TO GET CUTEGUY TO JOIN HIS UNION AND GRIAN JUST GOING. NAH. WAS SO FUNNY

@cornpapers draws scar SO pretty

mumblr is SUCH a funny name 10/10

the "dont you think cuteguy and hotguy having matching names and outfits is queerbaiting" post is SO FUNNY

THE GRIANVERSE

SHE'S HERE !!!!!!! ARIANA GRIANDE !!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. GRIAN LOOKS LIKE THE SAD HAMSTER

REALLY GOOD PANEL

this whole comic was so funny i loved it loved the cub

THE EMAILS PART WAS ALSO SO FUNNY

this is such an interesting and fun way to tell a story i loved the email part

in general the posts and stuff were SO funny and very realistic for the internet 😭

yeah

grian desperately trying to not let scar reveal his identity 😭😭 girl (this also hits so different now after reading the whole thing btw.)

the comparison to a wild horse in this first fic also killed me

i can't really put a lot of images but there were some really classic superhero comic looking panel that i thoroughly enjoyed

scar tangled in his own grappling hook. classic. very funny

I LOVED THIS FIC SO MUCH. scar voice this is gonna ruin the tour. grian voice what tour. scar voice the world tour.

scar saying he's playing volleyball. haikyuu reference!?!?!?

just putting this here

LOVEDDDD THIS GEM DESIGN

moon mask i immediately called pearl yes pf course

GRIAN REFUSING TO SHOW EACHOTHER THEIR IDENTITIES AGRHRGRHRVH

"you and your cuteguy" arggrgrhsggrgrhgr

murder camel REAL !!

I DIDN'T TRUST THIS FOR A SECOND. PEARL AND HER SOUP I DONT BUY IT

"i cant believe you guys fucking killed jimmy solidarity" <- actual message i sent to mochi

SCOUR KNOWING SCARS NAME. AGRHSGRHRGRHV

i literally had to Go Take A Walk after this fic

i really like how the pearl thing was resolved in this it felt like such a good act 2 reoccurring villain exit. very superhero comic/movie like or even dnd like

'vincent berger' made me laugh

ZEDDIT

MOCHI FIC !!!!

first off every single fic has SUCH a cool cover i love them all

poor grian has ptsd :((

i LOVEEE how mochi writes angst always they're so good at it

the fact that he never found jimmys body immediately made me call the fact that he wasn't really dead and would come back btw

gem would lovee to drive grian slowly crazy tbh

"IVE COME TO PICK UP MY BIRD" AGRHRGRHGRHRVRBTBJRG

JUST LOOK AT THAT GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW !!!!!!!

i was going insane at this point

this whole zine had me feeling like that meme thats like first i laughed.. then i serioused (the first part was SO funny and then golden era was psychic damage /pos)

IMPULSE :D

GEMPEARL <33 they are so everything to me

SCAR WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE SUSPICIOUS POSSIBLY EVIL FOREIGN TECHNOLOGY ON YOUR BODY. SIR.

NOT THE DESTIEL MEME

they look SO fucking cute

both scar and grian look sooooo scrumptious in this comic argh

THE MIND CONTROL. THE. RHE MIND CONFNTOL.

THESE 2 FULL PAGES ARE ABSOLUTELY SO INSANE. I WAS AND STILL AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

THIS IS SO. GOD THIS

THE WAY GRIAN JUMPED AND SCAR JUMPED AFTER HIM. THEYRE CRAZY !!!!!!!

THE WIPING THE BLOODY NOSE AND THEN SMILING LITERALLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE TOOK THE MASK OFF

mumbo <3

THE HUG. ☹️☹️☹️

great big beautiful tomorrow :((( the parallels :((

GRIAN BEING TOO FLUSTERED BY SCAR KINDA FLIRTING THAT HE DIDN'T REALISE HE WAS DROPPING HINTS ABT HIS IDENTITY WAS SO FUNNY

cutiebird..

scar playing w his hair when cuteguy was hurt :(( so cute

REALLY FUNNY

THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS ☹️☹️

the tcg voice: theyre holding hands.. i want them dead

SKIZZ !!!!

ETHO !!!!!!!!!!

awhh skizzly :((((

THIS IS SO UPSETTING

"It's our Impulse, Gem" IM SO UPSET SHUT UP

god the way she puts on the mask and immediately is emotionless im gonna throw up

OBSESSED. THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME

im so obsessed w this cuteguy i love him

grian voice omg im the only bitch serving cunt in this place im so embarasseddddd

they are serving SO much in this comic

ETHO EYHO ETHO ETHEO

SCAR APPOINTING GRIAN AS LEADER. EARURGRHVRH THEY'RE EVERYTHING

READING THIS WAS SO CRAZY IT LITERALLY FELT LIKE WATCHING ENDGAME

JIMMY SOLIDARITY !!!

MUMBO JUMBO !!!!!

impulse thinking about skizz as he's dying :(((((

HE DID IT ALL FOR SKIZZ :(((((((((

i was so upset this made me sob like a baby

SOUP GROUP :(((

SKIZZLY!!! :(((

warden :/

SCAR PEARL INTERVIEW :( HOTGUY RETIRING :( I LOVE THEM

THE CHEMICAL MUTATING PEOPLE IS JUST ESTROGEN BEING A GIRL JUST DOES THAT TO YOU

grian and scar playing volleyball is that a haikyuu reference....

OH THIS PEARL IN THIS COMIC IS REALLY GOOD

cuteguy is so spiderman coded

GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW !!!!!! WE'VE COME FULL CIRCLE !!! SOBBING !!!!

god all in all this was so crazy. it was such an obvious labour of love and everyone who was involved with it did such a good job and obviously put so much love into it AND IT WAS WORTH IT !!!! insanely good work thank you to everyone for doing this and sharing it for free?? @hotguycomiczine y'all are crazy. incredible work <333

[magpod-confessions]

I do not love Alice as much as most of yall seem to. I do not get the hype. On the contrary, i think Sam and Gwen get too much hate.

I come from a labour majority town. I live in a tarrace house. I have a single parent. I am not well to do. And Gwen, to me, is not the embodiment of nepo baby government kiss-ass you all interpret her as.

For one, i doubt her rich as all hell family would be vying for her to work at a suspicious, dingy work job. And i dont think Lena particularly cares for the Bouchard title. And Gwen seems to work as hard as she can, and actually seems to be the only one treating her work as WORK. I can imagine her situation [at the start of the series] was like working on a long-term group project with 1 person who Does Not Give A Fuck and is trying to teach the newbies of the group to do the same as her [Fuck all], which only puts more work and stress on HER.

And her whole "shes a lady" thing with me did not come off as classism. Well to do people tend to do their fucked up shit in private. Bonzo is an otherworldly creature who doesn't care what others think and will just kill you. The fact Mowbray's a Lady makes her seem more human, which is the trap Gwen fell into. It makes her seem like she would only do the atrocious acts in ways that would not damage her title. Whether she is right or wrong, we dont know.

And then there's sam. I never hear anyone really talk about sam in a way thats not

A] talking about him in a way that dumbs down his character.

B] Comparing him to Jon or other characters from TMA

C] only talking about his relationships.

It feels like people are actively resisting having Sam as an actual protagonist, instead trying to make Alice fit into that role. Theyre both complex characters, treat them the bloody same please.

.

[dykekarkat]

hey I’ve seated myself on your couch PLEASE tell me more of your ghost andreil au it is beautiful and Oscar worthy to me

omg hi yes pls be seated im sorry this got slightly long and also took a bit!! also unsure if this even makes sense or is smth u will like but alas, i just kinda went wild. anyway thank you so much for the ask :)

i love getting a chance to talk about any and all of my aus. ghost andreil came about bcus im not a huge fan of the ghost x human relationship trope thing so i thought what if instead they were both ghosts...love beyond living is just so perfect for andreil...anyway long ramble ahead so ill put it under the cut <3

basic world building in my head is that ghosts are basically humans who are living on the Wrong Layer of the universe because they refuse to let go of their lives or have some unfinished business (normal ghost things). the supernatural isn't widely known about or believed in but there are ppl aware (like renee for instance). ghosts can touch other ghosts but not humans (duh) bcus i want andreil to fist fight and also to eventually have a physical relationship bcus it is important to me. too much interaction w physical objects depletes their energy, but the more will a ghost has the more energy they have (and by god are andreil willful little assholes).

renee and jean are both mediums! renee's been involved w the spiritual realm forever (gang related) while jean just thinks he's losing his mind slowly ^-^ renee is on a quest to help andrew move on (he hates this) but theyre still besties. meanwhile neil is desperately trying to prove that no he's not a hallucination (lol) and no jean should Not kill himself to join him. tbh idk if i want the moriyamas to be in the know or not, heavily debating over whether neil should be able to escape them through death or if he's forever cursed to be in debt to the mafia (depending on how angsty i want this to get).

NOW ON TO THE RELATIONSHIPS AKA THE FUN PART

- aaron is NOT having a good time in the beginning of this au. actively going through hell after losing a brother he just found and his mother. he's getting high most of the time, barely going to school, fully given up on himself, and Super Fucking Angry at Andrew. To Be Clear andrew didn't commit suicide but his normal canon i dont care about what happens to me attitude led to him dying while killing tilda. aaron DOES NOT KNOW that andrew killed her on purpose, but he's suspicious and angry as fuck anyway because andrew broke the deal (of staying together for high school). nicky still takes aaron in but nicky hadnt met andrew before his death so the tragedy for him is that andrew never rlly got a chance. andrew himself doesnt mind being dead (in his opinion its the same monotonous apathetic existence as he had living. which changes once he meets neil) but he's Pissed bcus he thinks aaron is throwing away his life. which in Andrew's opinion he did the hard part by getting rid of tilda (the problem). so andrew takes to haunting him by hiding his drugs and being a general nuisance to try and get him to school. i have not quite figured out how to get aaron to kick the drugs and get on palmetto w/o andrew ngl ^-^

- neil dies at the same time kevin broke his hand. riko snapped and neil pushed his buttons and refused to agree that riko was the best, so riko basically beats him to death and kevin gets his hand broken trying to stop it. a very tragic skiing accident indeed :(. kevin feels Extremely guilty over neil's death and jean practically forces him out of the nest, jean himself is basically resigned to joining his partner in death (smth neil is Not About). at this point andrew's been dead for two years? ish? and aaron is on the foxes as a freshman. neil splits his death time between trying to make things easier for jean and keep him from dying, and thwart kevin's attempts to go back to the nest in increasingly comical ways. meanwhile andrew is pissed about kevin bringing danger to aaron, so andreil are Fighting, i mean full on ghost fights where shit is levitating and lights are flickering and ppl are screaming because andrew wants kevon gone. eventually they do that line drawn across the center of the room to try and stay civil.

- eventually kevaaron start bonding and processing their grief over the loss of their brothers and fall in love at the same time, while andreil are also falling in love through asshole ghost mating rituals. major plot point would be renee using her séance powers to make kevaaron aware of their ghost protectors and a lot of drama unfolds from there (andrew reveals the murder stuff, aaron gets more pissed he died, aaron wants to banish him exorcise him in anger etc etc). the catalyst to andreils romantic relationship occurs bcus riko brings drake into the picture to hurt aaron(similar to canon), and neil basically almost ghost kills himself stopping him (expends too much energy in a short period of time) --> their relationship still doesnt start until a few months after this but it is the turning point for andrew being able to trust neil.

other small things:

lola is a contracted demon to nathan (unsure if moriyamas are aware).

nathan kills riko for killing neil (its a pride thing) and basically starts a war within the moriyamas. that neil Really does not know how to feel about, still terrified his father will be able to hurt him due to his knowledge of the occult (which may or may not be reasonable)

mary died trying to escape w neil so he went to the nest at 10 as planned. when he died and realized he was a ghost he looked for her immediately but she had moved on. it was probably more crushing to see that she could've stayed and watched over him and didnt than to witness her actual death.

tilda and mary moved on immediately after death (does heaven exist in this world??? hell?? dont ask me idk either)

pre andreil reveal nicky starts a channel to document their haunted college dorm. its one of the first things andreil bond over bcus they love starting shit nicky is so reactive. post andreil reveal nicky stops posting on it bcus it feels too weird to him, until neil is like hey i wanted to spell dick with the ouija board again :( and then nicky brings it back with gusto

[kennysboxergf]

Hey girl! I love your writing. Could you do a Niko smut of them all going out to dinner and Niko and the girl are enemies but they’re both attracted to each other and they both end up bumping into each other coming out of the bathroom and they have hate sex 😜😜😜😜

With Him ~ Niko Omilana

GOD I FUCKING HATE MYSELF I READ THIS WRONG AND THEYRE EXES NOW OMG 😭😭

hopefully it’s still alright, they’re isn’t much smut but I set it up so if anyone wants I will write the continuation with more hate smut 🤭🤭

—

God, you hated how much you loved your friends. They invited you out really sweetly to a dinner at some restaurant or the other. It was already suspicious how long you had gone without Darkest violating you in some way or another but you agreed to come nonetheless. 

You were even more put off when FIlly extended a pinky in your direction and asked you to promise him you were coming. You agreed to that too. 

Stupid. Stupid!

Now here you were at this lovely dinner with your ex staring into your soul from where he was sitting, right in front of you. As soon as you had walked in and seen him sitting at the table you wanted to turn around and sprint your way down the street. It’s not the fact that you guys ended things badly. Well it was that fact. Last time you had seen his face you were yelling at it, there was still some sort of tension between the two of you. 

Then there was that dickhead Sharky who waved at you and yelled out your name so everyone’s attention was on you. You couldn’t even run away now. Great.

You forced a smile and went to the table. And of course. The only empty seat was right across from Niko. Wonderful. Truly delightful. You knew Filly and Darkest knew what they were doing when they tricked you into this dinner. You glanced at them to see them laughing and smiling at you. Traitors. 

You turn your attention back from the back stabbers to him. You notice him already looking at you but he looks away as soon as you turn to him. Weird. 

Most of the dinner isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. You two just avoided each other. You saw a few more weird looks from the direction of your ex-boyfriend but brushed it off as unresolved beef. It got a little weirder when he started really loudly talking about a new girl he smashed. Really loudly, like practically screaming through the restaurant about it. Even the guys were getting a little weirded out with this behaviour. You were getting really uncomfortable the more he announced it.

You knew he was doing all this just to fuck with you. And you weren’t going to have a single second of it. You quickly excused yourself to the bathroom. You had to scuttle past Kenny to get out of the sofa seat and even his thick skull could tell you weren’t ok. You heard a whisper ‘you good?’ as you passed him and nodded in response before rushing as calmly as you could to the privacy of the cubicle. 

You raised your hand to your chest to feel your heart pounding in anger. The heat of the feeling spreads through your veins. Of fucking course, Niko got a new girl. Why wouldn’t he? The two of you were over. But it had never really felt like it, it always felt unfinished.

None of that mattered now because there he was, probably still talking about his new lay at the dinner table. You took a deep breath, which seemed to only anger you more, due to some repressed memory of someone (cough, Sharky, cough) telling you to calm down after you broke up with Niko initially. All your thoughts had been invaded with memories of him, good and bad.

It made you wanna smack the shit out of him but also hold his cheek gently in the palm of your hand and kiss him. Then fuck him out.

You left the cubicle to look at your face in the mirror, your mascara had smudged ever so slightly so you quickly fixed it with your fingers and some water before heading out the bathroom. 

You were still thinking about Niko and other things, but mainly Niko. So it came as a shock when you bumped into a giant wall of flesh that just happened to be him. 

He pushed you away from where you crashed against his body. With barely a glance in your direction he said, “watch where you’re going” 

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion and irritation, and reply back with, “You’re like 6 heads over everyone else in this room you should have seen me coming” 

His face distorted into one of mock pity, “I’m sorry, are you too small and petite to see properly?” 

You matched his fake face, “I’m sorry, were you too busy thinking about your new girl to think straight? Are you too horny?”

“Sounds like someone’s jealous~” he sings as he steps closer to you. 

“Sounds like someone’s hiding bad sex skills by bragging about them~” you shoot back.

“Sounds like someone is targeting my sex skills cus they miss them” he takes a step closer, there is a sort of mischievous look in his eyes as he does.

“Are you making things up about me wanting you because, in secret, you still want me? Haven’t gotten over when I left you all alone in the living room of your house?” That was a little harsh, you winced internally at yourself. You put your hands on your hips as you talk. You’re at a disadvantage as your back is close to the wall and he’s only coming closer and closer still.

His eyes darken at your comments, “you wish I wanted you” he says simply. Another step closer, the two of you are barely a foot apart now.

“Sure keep lying to yourself” you say, an amused smile playing on your lips.

“This isn’t a joke, y/n” he says harshly. Your eyes widen at how serious he is. 

He steps closer, you two are touching feet.

“You left me there, all by myself, I don’t think I’ve ever felt that low before.” He says his hands gesturing as he tries to emphasise how he felt.

You open to speak and his finger goes up to close your lips gently.

“and now you come here, and I thought we could be friends, or at least we could be civil but here we are fighting in the hallway” he claimed, his voice rising.

“We were civil. We are friends.” You stated, speaking slowly and loud to make him hear. You smacked his finger off your lips. “Until you started talking about your new girlfriend so loud that the whole restaurant had turned their heads to listen”

“So you ARE jealous?” He says, completely fucking ignoring anything you’ve just said. 

You try to push him off you but he comes back as quick as you can extend your arms. He places a hand on the wall behind you. The force of his body coming forwards slams yours into the wall. You look up at him and see his eyes looking at you with a fire behind them. You felt the same fire flare in your chest.

“I’m not jealous you fucking weirdo, im trying to tell you that you started this but you don’t listen. You never did.” You stick a finger in his chest as if that would get him to open his ears.

He twisted his face into one of anger, and started to spew more insults mixed with arguments for himself. This isn't something you were going to listen to, you didn’t have the patience to let him waffle about why he was right anymore. You had to shut him up somehow. And there was only one way you know how.

You went up on your tiptoes to kiss him. His chatter stopped. Your eyes were squeezed shut, scared of his response. His eyes were blown wide. You felt his lips kiss you back. You leaned into the familiarity, his hot lips against yours.

You pulled away first. His eyes were more open now, still angry but also confused now.

He took your arm and pulled the two of you into the bathrooms. You led the way to a cubicle once your back had been pushed through the door. It was all very fast and frantic, your heart was beating very quickly in your chest. You locked the door to the cubicle and turned around to Niko immediately putting his lips back on yours.

Neither of you said anything as you kissed, it could start another argument neither of you wanted. You tried to gain an upper hand, putting your hand under his shirt and pulling it up. His hands went around your waist and pulled you in closer.

You pushed him down onto the toilet seat, thankfully the seat was closed but at this point it would be very funny to see Niko fall into the toilet. He landed with a grunt, you sat yourself on his lap, your legs on either side of the seat. This was so unsanitary but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Niko’s hands trailed their way up your thighs, going under the dress you had on. You could feel his boner under the light fabric of your underwear.

That’s when you heard the door open. The two of you stopped your actions. You sat as still as you could on top of him and his hands gripped at your thighs. The stranger couldn’t see you through where you had locked yourself in the cubicle but your heart had jumped to your throat.

As you heard them enter a cubicle a few stalls away from yours your heart calmed down. That’s when an evil idea floated through your mind. You grind up and down on Niko’s lap, he looked at you with the confusion painted on his face. You continued your actions, he would have loved to reciprocate but he was too busy slamming a hand over his mouth to stay quiet. You increased your movements. He gasped under his hand and his eyes squeezed shut.

Just when you thought he was going to moan out loud you stopped. You got off of him as quickly and quietly and you could and leaned over his shoulder to press the flush. He couldn’t process the actions and you took the opportunity to quickly open the door of the cubicle and go out. 

He opened his mouth to say something before closing it, reminded of the situation. You wink and wave, a gleeful smile on your face before closing the door on his aghast face. You made your way to the sink and washed your hands before heading out into the hall.

You passed another woman on her way to the bathroom and your smile grew bigger. You let out a small giggle once you were out of ear shot. You would love to continue the ‘conversation’ later but, come on! How could you pass up an opportunity like that?

You rejoined your friends at the table. You pretended to be interested in the conversation but you kept checking your phone for the time, getting a bit more excited as the minutes passed.

Finally, after around 10 minutes Niko emerged from the bathrooms. You looked up at him to see him scowling at you, his hands were at his pants, adjusting them slightly.

Chunkz looked up at him then down at his watch, “took you long enough, were you having a wank in there?” 

The table burst into laughter, and yours was clearly the loudest. His eyes never left yours and he muttered a sarcastic “ha ha” and took his spot on the table.

Some time in the midst of the conversation, when everyone was too focused on one thing or the other to see you, he leaned over the table and gestured for you to do the same. You lean in with confusion but a smile is still evident on your face.

“Meet me after this dinner” he says, small and sharp.

Your stomach flutters.

“Ok, professor” you whisper back.

You sit back down, ok maybe, you were still into him. You couldn’t wait for this night to end as he shot daggers into you from his seat and you shot back smug smiles and winks. You hoped nobody had noticed that the tension between you two had changed. But maybe they did because they all left very quickly, leaving you alone. With him.

—

as always requests are open and please come by and say hi <3

[theoldoor]

ratio being the couple therapist for fenrir. . … . ouououououhhhh

its not even couple therapy its literally one sided situationship therapy because fenrir has an issue with unreciprocated love with every single thing. first it was unreciprocated love with humanity and now unreciprocated love with a dude he lived in the desert with for a year and a half in the name of ‘survival’. its not explicitly stated as romantic or not. its like those relationships that are not necessarily romantic nor platonic, just forever intertwined and bonded.

but as always - its on fenrir’s side. aventurine doesnt reciprocate, hes just chill like that while fenrir yearns the shit out of his soul.

sleeping together but thats totally normal because they did it countless times in the desert together. showering together is absolutely fine too, infact they bicker over who gets the bathtub and who gets the shower. they are so casually open with each other because with the trust they formed in the desert, this is just normal and they can trust that the other wont go against them. they know the stakes they have for each other.

they are so casually normal with each other im sick

aventurine can be mad at fenrir without guilt and fenrir can let loose of aventurine and he’d still be in one piece theyre fukcing ththt

i think its just, i think fuck i cant say shit

after being engulfed by qiploth and ena reincarnate, fenrir was place in a limbo reality between life and death. but this reality is the ‘perfect’ reality - much like the perfect world sunday described as he was under the influence of order. fenrir lived this life, 3 characters are present in the entirety of his months and he sees nothing as wrong. he lives in a simple small apartment with hermia and aventurine - just that simple domestic life for 8 months equivalent of time and he didn’t even notice that the perfect reality is crumbling. the has looked weird for the past month. aventurine had been a little bit more intimate and he was getting suspicious. but what totally snapped him was aventurine saying a line that broke character, when aventurine referred to him with a term of endearment.

and he knows that’ll never happen due to his rooted belief that his feelings will never be reciprocated in such manners. this sent him down to a spiral, questioning if everything had really been worth it - to indulge in this fantasy.

[winchesterszvonecek]

could you do a connor piece with these two prompts? theyre not from the same list so i hope thats okay 🩷

"I'm not gonna let you cum no matter how much you want it."

+

“So, what's going on between you and [name] recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden."

and its like the reader is a firefighter at 51 and close to kelly or casey / got closer to one of them and yeah :)

All Yours - [ Connor Rhodes ] 18+

Prompt: “So, what’s going on between you and [name] recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden.” + “I’m not gonna let you cum no matter how much you want it.”

Word Count: 2550 i couldn’t stop myself

Warnings: female!reader, strong language, jealousy, possessiveness, smut - [ vaginal fingering, oral - fem!receiving, edging, dirty talk… so much dirty talk, unprotected sex ]

A/N: i was so nervous to post this cause it feels so goddamn filthy but i did it anyway so hopefully y’all enjoy it and i didn’t go way off the rails lmao

Masterlist | Connor Masterlist

You knew something was wrong the minute you got into the car and Connor hadn’t immediately kissed your cheek then asked you how your shift was. You could tell simply by the way he stayed silent the whole ride home, his hands gripping the steering wheel with such force that his knuckles had turned white and you were surprised they hadn’t broken through his skin.

It was unlike him to not ask you a hundred questions revolving around your day at work, and even more unlike him not to kiss you, so if you hadn’t been suspicious enough, then his stiff posture and lack of eye contact with you would have been evidence enough. And when he didn’t place his hand on your thigh each time you stopped at a red light, you knew you were in trouble, only you had no idea why.

You didn’t know what was bothering him, what you could have done to make him this way, and in all honesty you were scared to ask which is why you stayed as quiet as he did during the ride home. But the second you stepped foot into your shared apartment, where you’d just about managed to find the courage to ask him what was wrong, Connor beat you to it and he wasn’t at all subtle in hiding his obvious annoyance over what he’d seen when he came to pick you up.

“So, what’s going on between you and Casey recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden.” Connor asked, his tone a little bitter as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the couch as you tilted your head a little, ignoring the anger that built inside him when you laughed softly.

“Me and Casey?” You shook your head, glancing briefly around the room before your eyes landed back on him. “Connor, I’ve told you this before, he’s my Lieutenant, that’s it. Nothing more” You added, scoffing a little at the insinuation he was so clearly making as you made your way to the bedroom, deciding you’d heard enough of what he had to say.

You’d had this conversation with him once before when he caught Casey hugging you in the hospital after a rough call and that hadn’t gone well so he could forgive you for not wanting to go down that road again.

“Oh really? Well it seems to me like he thinks differently… Especially if the way he looked at you when I picked you up said anything on the matter.” Connor said with a touch more anger as he followed you into the room, even the sight of the eighty-one shirt covering your torso enough to have his blood boil over the memory of how Casey had looked at you.

“How he looked at me?” You repeated, your tone matching his as you couldn’t believe he was making you go through this again. “Tell me Connor, how was he looking at me? Cause if it was anything less than with drool coming from his mouth then I don’t want to hear it.”

“He might as well have been drooling.” Connor scoffed, pulling his shirt over his head with such haste that he was surprised his head hadn’t come off with it. “The way he watched you… Practically fucking you with his eyes right in front of me.”

“For God sakes, Connor.” You muttered in frustration, pulling your own shirt off and tossing it in the hamper. All you wanted was a quiet morning after work, but it appeared as though your fiancée thought otherwise and little did you know… “How many times do I have to tell you? Casey does not want to fuck me. And even if he did…”

Unaware that Connor had been moving towards you, your words were cut off when you suddenly felt your chest hit hard against the wall, sending a tingle down your front which quickly made its way between your legs when you felt Connor push up against you, lifting your hands to pin them above your head, making you unable to see how he stared at you the very same way he’d accused Casey of.

“What? Would you let him fuck you?” He whispered, his voice so deep he was practically growling as he attached his lips to your neck, the pure heat coursing through your veins making you unable to reply.

You could feel his free hand snake around your waist, his fingertips trailing down your stomach before they delved beneath your trousers, ghosting over your already throbbing pussy and causing a soft moan to escape your lips as you leaned back against him, his hardened bulge pressing firmly against your ass.

“Would you let him pin you down in his office and fuck that tight little pussy of yours?” Connor whispered into your ear, his teeth digging gently into your lobe as he tugged on it, hearing the muttered swear words that left your lips in response. “Answer me baby… If he wanted to… Would you let your Lieutenant fuck you?”

“No.” You gasped softly at the coldness of his fingers as they pushed aside your panties, trailing themselves painfully slowly across your soaking slit as Connor made sure not to touch your clit as he wanted to hear you beg for it. “No I wouldn’t.”

“And why’s that?” Connor asked in intrigue as he always thought you had a little school girl crush on Casey before you met him. He pulled his hand from your panties and flipped you round, once again pinning your hands firmly above your head. The first thing he noticed about you was the lust that had blown wide in your pupils, your breathing heavy as you all but panted which only had him straining that much more against his pants.

“Because…” You breathed out, clenching your legs to try and feel some friction against the raving heat beneath them. “…you’re the only one I want to fuck me… The only one whose cock I want to feel inside me.”

“Hm, good answer.” Connor hummed in satisfaction, pressing his lips hard against you as you all but devoured each other. His hold on your hands faltered, allowing them to fall to your sides before you moved to unbuckled his belt, the only thing he allowed you to do before he took your hands in his, stilling your motions. “Not so fast… I think you deserve a little punishment beforehand, don’t you?”

“Punishment? For what?” You asked, almost finding yourself angry again as you thought you’d made it clear to him that you’d never dream of cheating on him with Casey. That was, until you saw the way he smirked, his eyes darkening as he imagined all the ways he could have you squirming beneath him and that’s when you knew you were done for.

“For being so goddamn hot that every guy who meets you wants to fuck you.” And with that, the words that had you smiling like crazy, Connor lifted you off your feet and threw you down onto the bed, towering over you as his hands roamed across your skin, feeling the hotness of it mix with that of his cold hands.

He gripped the cups of your bra, pulling it down to allow your breasts to spill over the edge, his mouth cupping one of them instantly whilst his hand went to the other, kneading it softly as he flicked and pinched at the hardened bud between his fingers, making you hum softly as your threaded your fingers through his hair.

You were already a soaking mess by the time he moved lower, his fingers hooking around the waistband of both your pants and your panties, which he pulled off you in one quick motion before he got to his knees, spreading you open to see the glistening sight that was your pussy.

“Look at you.” Connor teased, pacing soft kisses up your inner thigh, his stubble scratching you lightly as his arm slid across your stomach, holding you down to stop you from arching your back too high. “Absolutely dripping… And all for me.”

“Only you, baby.” You gasped, followed by a low moan as he slipped one finger inside you, which was enough for you to almost lose your train of thought. “Fuck… Only for you.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Connor chuckled, in a way that told you that you were more than likely about to have to beg for your life. “Now be a good girl and moan for me while I fuck my fingers into your pretty little pussy.”

You did what you were told as he slid a second finger into you, knuckle deep before he pulled back, thrusting them into you once again and keeping a steady rhythm. The noises they made were not at all quiet as you knew how wet you were, how absolutely soaking you got when he took control like this, but then again, neither were you.

Your moans echoed off the walls, probably reaching the neighbours which you’d normally be embarrassed about but right now you didn’t care. You were simply in heaven as he continued to finger fuck you, curling them slightly to hit that sweet spot inside you. It had barely been a minute before you already found yourself clenching tightly around his fingers, about to come harder than you’d ever done before.

That was, until Connor pulled them out, making you whine at the loss of contact and look down at him, just in time to see him suck the glisten of you off his fingers.

“Oh, did you think I was gonna let you give in so quickly?” He asked, moaning softly at the taste of you on his fingers as he licked them once again. “Baby, I’m not gonna let you come no matter how much you want it.”

The second the words left his lips he’d attached them to your pussy, sucking gently on your clit before his tongue worked its way downwards. Eating you out like you were his first meal in days which had you whimpering as you all but levitated off the bed, gripping the sheets for dear life as you’d never felt anything quite like how his tongue felt inside you.

Five times Connor brought you to the edge of your climax, allowing you to see briefly over the edge before he pulled you away, his mouth leaving you as you let out a stifled sob. You couldn’t take another second let alone another minute of him denying you what you wanted. You were desperate. So fucking desperate for him to make you come that you could feel your eyes stinging with tears, your lower abdomen tightening more than ever before as it slowly reached the brink of being painful.

“Connor please.” Your breath hitched as you spoke, your body shaking from the edging he was so thoroughly enjoying. “Please… I can’t… I can’t take it anymore, please let me come.”

“You want to come baby?” Connor said softly, rubbing a slow circle against your swollen clit, making you whimper quietly to yourself as your hips bucked involuntarily. “You want me to make you come?”

“Yes… Yes, please make me come.” You begged, propping yourself up on your shaky elbows to look at him. “Please… I want you to make me come so fucking bad, baby. Want you to make me come so hard I scream your name.”

“Tell me you’re mine.” Connor said seriously, unbuttoning his pants as he readied himself to make good on his promise. “Tell me you’re mine and I’ll fuck you so good you’ll scream my name loud enough that the whole city hears it.”

“I’m yours.” You said instantly, biting down hard on your lip as he pushed down his pants, freeing his already leaking and thick cock from beneath them. “I’m all yours. My heart. My pussy… All of it belongs to you.”

“Good girl.” Connor cooed, tracing his tip down your slick folds, pushing it in just a little as he smeared your arousal down the length of it. “Now get on your hands and knees.”

You moved quicker than before, barely settling yourself down on your knees before you felt him come up behind you, his erection brushing against your inner thigh as he settled himself nicely behind you, the bed the perfect height to allow him to stand which you knew meant he wasn’t going to be gentle at all. And right now, right now you wanted it rough.

“Give it to me, baby… Let me feel that thick cock in my tight little pussy.” You murmured, knowing that you talking dirty always riled him up, which it did as the second the words left your lips he’d pushed into, bottoming out in one quick motion and he was anything but slow as he began to pound mercilessly into you.

Your back arched, your chin pushed deep into the mattress as you bit down onto it, stifling your cries as your body trembled in pure pleasure, the slight pain of Connor’s roughness and lack of allowing you to adjust to his size only adding to the heat that pumped through your veins.

“Fuck… Yes baby, give it to me. Fucking give it to me. Yes.” You cried out, pushing your ass out further before you felt a sharp sting across it, Connor having slapped it before digging his fingers deep into the flesh of it, sure to leave bruises come the next morning.

“Taking it so good, baby.” Connor groaned, his hips moving furiously as he continued to slam into you, the sound of how wet your pussy was like music to his ears, as were your moans which he’d never heard quite as pleasure driven before. He could feel you clamping down around him, about to burst any second now as he gave you exactly what you wanted. “That’s it, sweetheart, come for me.”

As though on command, you clamped down fully, pure ecstasy flowing fast throughout your veins as you came harder than ever before, making good on your word of screaming his name as you couldn’t help but allow it to cross your lips. You couldn’t begin to describe this moment, your head was fuzzy, your eyes were clouded over in white as you felt your very spirit leave your body, and for a second you thought you’d ascended into heaven, that was until your name slipping from Connor’s lips as he came inside you pulled you back to reality.

“Fuck, Connor…” You exhaled, no air left in your burning lungs as he’d fucked it all out of you. “I think… I think… God, I don’t even know what to think.” Your body fell flat against the bed, your thighs sticking together from a mixture of yourself and Connor, whose release was slowly dripping out of you.

Connor chuckled, flipping your now limp body over so you lay on your back, making it easy for him to see your flushed face as he towered over you, gently brushing his thumb across your lips before he spoke.

“You know what I think… I think… You did so well in letting everyone in Chicago know that you're mine… And mine only.”

Prompt List

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[laswells-ashtray]

Hey buddy, I've got a weird question for you today. How do airports in the UK work? More specifically Scotland. I'm sorry if I sound like an idiot because I've not done any research whatsoever and I could not even point out Scotland on a map if asked. Figured I'd ask you because I'm assuming you live somewhere around north east because of the difference in times (if im assuming horribly wrong i have no idea how timezones work). I'm very American and only know how airports here in the states operate but was wondering if theyre different in other places. This could be an easily google-able question, and I'm sorry if this is a real strange question, you don't have to answer it. And for context so I don't look as much like a weirdo I'm trying to map out ideas for the skeleton on a fanfiction I had an idea for. Anywho me and my cats are sending you and Orca good vibes for 2025 <3

Orca and I appreciate the good vibes, thank you and happy New Year. And damn, if this didn't make me think.

Haven't been to an airport since I was 13 and that wasn't yesterday.

I'm recalling this from a distant memory so it isn't gonna make sense until I straighten it out.

Arrive, already hate it.

Go to the desk where they're like "woah, you're going here - I hate my job" and you're like "yeah, I'm so sorry - I hope no one fucks up your day" and then they send your suitcase to Hell.

Then you wander off to the thing and you gotta take out your phone and shit, send your bag through the "no, I don't have a gun or a knife or a bomb why did you take my shoes everyone stop looking at my Batman socks I hate it here" machine. Then they make you step through the thing that looks like it's from Doctor Who where it checks your person for substances or weapons and it's just uncomfortable.

Then you get singled out and they wipe this strip thing on you and your bags to test for substances because you're a child on holiday with your mother and to them that looks suspicious so they do a "random check" except they randomly check you at every airport any time you go somewhere with her. They find nothing, you aren't criminals, you're just a tired kid holding a blanket and your mother is older than people expect so it throws them off.

You get led into the rest of the airport where there are shops with overpriced everything and no chargers available. You buy nothing, you crave the cold hand of death. You wait, you wait, you pretend the person mouth breathing next to you isn't annoying and you wait. Then boom, plane time.

Is this too nonsensical or do you get me?

[therealmaquaroonie]

Wanna know about my total drama gravity falls crossover idea fanfic thing? No? Too bad this post is about it

This takes place after Chris McLean gets imprisoned and Bill Cipher gets put into the theraprism. This is very important to how the crossover works.

Chris McLean gets sent a book from an anonymous source and from the perspective of the parole officers it's a normal book. Thinking nothing of it they give it to Chris. Chris is now in possession of (albiet slightly different) the book of bill

Curiously enough, Bill gives him quite an offer; Bill can get Chris out of prison to continue his show, but only if Chris promises to free Bill.

Chris is surprisingly apprehensive at first. A dream demon? An easy way out? He laughs, thinking it's his mind playing tricks on him. Bill leaves Chris a number he can call in case he changes his mind.

Slowly though, more and more 'favors' pop up. At first it's simple convenient moments, better food, the other prisoners don't seem to try and pick on him as much, things that'd be considered better luck. Then suddenly it escalates; others who hated him in prison, who wanted him gone, are found dead. His debts to others are somehow forgiven due to loss of files. All the while Chris swears he's been seeing more and more triangles pop up everywhere he looks. He has strange dreams about him, seeing Bill whenever he blinks. It starts to drive him mad.

He gives in, calling the number, immediately summoning Bill. It's much like the summoning Gideon did in season one, time is frozen. Chris immediately asks why Bill is doing this. Bill chuckles, feigning innocence. Eventually Bill divulges info, telling Chris that theyre not all that different. Bill tells him he feels empathy for someone who used to be on top of the world in such a low place; that Bill is more than willing to do him this favor if Chris is willing to promise Bill's freedom. Chris takes the deal.

Moments later, every prisoner and guard is gone, and Chris walks out.

Then yeah, Chris starts planning out an entire season of challenges that get weirder and more specific as time progresses. Eventually, it is revealed that this Rube Goldberg machine of events causes a portal to be built and then the REAL show begins Aka Total Drama Weirdmageddon

I hypothesize that Chris has a hard time getting legitimate information about cryptids and stuff so Bill recommends he go to Gravity Falls and bribe Stan Pines for some, offering it as a 'business deal' and Chris dangling some potential share of the profits. Stan (who we all know has no morals when it comes to money, and assumes Bill is dead dead) immediately would take the offer, probably sliding him notes under the metaphorical or literal table. Whether all of the info Stan gives him is legit or not depends on how funny it would be if it were right/wrong.

Ford I headcanon has no idea who the fuck Chris is, because he was out in the multiverse for the entire duration of when total drama aired on live tv, so he just assumes his brother is just sharing harmless deets with a random show writer who might not even make it past the auditioning phase. But Ford is suspicious of Chris, still. He can't put a finger on it but he feels like something isn't right here. Ford chocks it up to paranoia at first, but probably would get more suspicious as more info is passed along to Chris.

Mabel definitely knows who Chris is and has watched almost the whole show. I think we can collectively understand how Mabel would react. Dipper knows who Chris is but focuses more on the fact that Chris caused a LOT of chaos (as well as his extensive criminal record), but due to being separated from and only hearing from his Grunkle about it ever so often, Dipper thinks Stan can handle it and is just toying with Chris.

Soos is Soos. He'd find it cool. Probably would be a little overbearing about it because he was probably a fan of the show in the earlier seasons, probably asking a lot of questions about Chris, but he doesn't think anything is suspicious.

As for the contestants; oh gods I almost forgot. Does anyone have any suggestions???

Also Bill is definitely possessing Chris a couple times. No doubt about it.

[obscenicon]

okay i have to complain about this bcs it drives me crazy but. that one post saying that "oh isnt it sad that dave got roxys teddy bear genes and rose got dirks overthinking genes but they got put in the opposite homes" makes me SO mad

like the implication that their abuse wouldnt have been as bad or that they wouldve "been able to handle it" if dave was raised by mom and rose was raised by bro is not only extremely victim-blamey, bcs youre basically saying its on THEM that they got traumatized by their parents, but its also just... blatantly not true? and completely ignores the actual impacts of abuse on children? and the fact that the abuse they suffered shaped who they are as people and not the other way around???

rose is an overthinker and suspicious of everything mom does BECAUSE mom is neglectful! shes rightfully suspicious of moms shows of affection bcs theyre interspersed with periods of abuse! thats WHY she is the way she is!!! rose would not be "up to the challenge" of being raised by bro she would just be fucked up and traumatized in a completely different way?? bcs bro is physically abusive? oh my god. and if dave was raised by mom he would likely have a very similar mindset to rose, because neglect and abuse does that to you!

yall cannot be blaming the way their guardians abused them on them having "the wrong genes" or being in the wrong households or whatever. that is so callous and gross