#and they would have seen monty python and the holy grail

[starwrittenresources]

✨— 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐏𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ✨

quotes from the 1975 Monty Python and the Holy Grail film. feel free to switch around pronouns, diction, and the like to make them more suitable for your muse.

❝ Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. ❞

❝ Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. ❞

❝ What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? ❞

❝ What makes you think she's a witch? ❞

❝ 'Tis but a scratch! ❞

❝ I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! ❞

❝ Oh, stop bitching and let’s go have tea. ❞

❝ Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale! ❞

❝ You stay in the room and make sure he doesn’t leave. ❞

❝ You’re not going to do a song while I’m here. ❞

❝ What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior! ❞

❝ Guards, make sure the prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.❞

❝ Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can. ❞

❝ We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril. ❞

❝ It's just a flesh wound. ❞

❝ Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? ❞

❝ In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right? ❞

❝ Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?❞

❝ Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed! ❞

❝ Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. ❞

❝ Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer! ❞

❝ We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni. ❞

❝ It's only a model! ❞

❝ Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail. ❞

❝ Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he will be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see. ❞

❝ On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place. ❞

❝ Bring out yer dead. ❞

❝ I'm not dead. I'm getting better. ❞

❝ You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do? ❞

❝ Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you. ❞

❝ You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest… WITH… A HERRING! ❞

❝ Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. ❞

❝ What manner of man are you that can summon up fire without flint or tinder?❞

❝ I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot. ❞

❝ You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me? ❞

❝ I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight. But I must cross this bridge. ❞

❝ Now, stand aside, worthy adversary! ❞

❝ Is there someone else up there we can talk to? ❞

❝ No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time! ❞

❝ Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it… and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So! Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth… ❞

❝ Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't have bothered to carve 'Aaaauuuggghhhh'. He'd just say it. ❞

❝ I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle! ❞

❝ Get on with it! ❞

❝ Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. ❞

[witchering10123]

you can't tell me that the marauders wouldn't have LOVED monty python

[itstherisingdaylight]

Written as part of the @jilymicrofics March Challenge Day 2: Chaperone || word count: 450 Rating: M This one is connected to my main fic.

James would never ever call the woman he’s certain would be his mother-in-law a fool. But he did think that going to bed early, and entrusting Sirius to chaperone her daughter and her boyfriend was an act of a fool. Daisy Evans did not truly understand just how mad for each other he and Lily were. Her lapse in observation was his gain though, his own parents having long since retired.

It was snowing, of course he and Lily were going to cuddle up together on the sofa under the blanket. And of course, Sirius was more than happy to lay out on the floor puzzling out the book of ‘diabolical magic squares’ Lily had gotten him for Christmas. On the telly the Potters rarely used, a film titled Monty Python and the Holy Grail was playing.

“Lily, this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen!” James protested, watching as a woman was revealed to weigh the same as a duck, and thus, she was a witch, clearly.

“That’s the point!” she giggled

This film was, according to her, a “cinematic masterpiece”. James had his doubts, but Lily never did look more beautiful than when she was laughing. Of course his hands began to wander. The blanket thrown over them both was the perfect cover.

James grinned against Lily’s temple when she didn’t fight him off and instead bit her lip to keep quiet once his hands found their way under her dress. Her back pressed against his chest and one hand found his knee, fingers curling around the fabric of his trousers.

The smallest of gasps escaped her when his fingers found their way to her knickers, pushing them aside for better access. They both looked to Sirius then, still ignoring them, and breathed a sigh of relief. James continued, quietly reprimanding her for her small outburst.

He massaged her, slow and methodical, stopping when her breathing became too laboured, or he thought she was going to moan, but a reprieve was all it was. In return, she’d twist just enough to kiss his neck and whisper as quietly as she could, begging him to keep going.

A few minutes of dedicated attention and James could feel Lily getting close, could feel her stifling every sigh and moan, and how hard it was for her to keep at it. Just a little bit—

“Merlin’s pants, you two!” Sirius interrupted. “If you wanted to wank each other off, you could’ve asked me to leave!”

Lily laughed, but there was some frustration behind it, the moment slipping away from them as they realised they’d been caught.

“Right,” James breathed. “You mind fucking off now?”

“Bloody rabbits, the pair of you! Disgusting!”

[genderfluid-insomniac]

Day 11: Comfort Movie

Characters:

Mei

Comfort movies come in variations for her depending on how much comfort she needs with Monty Python and the Holy Grail being when she needs to just focus on comfort and familiarity. If she needs a bit of comfort then she’ll watch the first How to Train Your Dragon movie and comment on how amazing the music is, the funny jokes, the obvious dragon similarities, and what she’d look like if she was a dragon like the ones in her family. Movies with her are the best experience with both of you getting your favorite snacks, building a pillow or blanket fort, having cuddles or sharing a blanket, and tissues if she changes one of her comfort movies to an emotional one. It’s a night that became more common after MK and the gang went through a world-ending crisis after one another. You stayed with her for almost two weeks after the Samadhi fire incident where movie nights were pretty much every night and she laid in your arms during the entire night.

Giyu (play about his favorite thing)

Although there aren’t such things as movies there are plays and it’s one of the few things he remembers loving attending with Sabito. Their favorite play was about a warrior from ancient Greece who was originally a god, but then he turned mortal and slowly rose back to his godhood. But when he lost his best friend and was thrust into the Demon Slayer corp he tried to forget about it but one day the play was back in town while he was on a mission. So out of both curiosity and closure and as the play went on he got flashbacks and more positive memories. When it finished he left with a soft smile and figured that seeing now would be a fond thing instead of a bad one, especially with you.

Jing Yuan

Someone, he forgot who, introduced him to a movie about a bunch of lions who rule over a big land and then fall victim to a plot to kill the thing and blame the young prince. Jing Yuan loved the music and how so many of the characters were charismatic not to mention funny and mentioned strategies or lessons he agreed with. You will often find him napping or lying with his lion. To no one’s surprise, you’ll often get dragged into a nap with him or convinced to watch the movie again even if you’ve seen it so get ready to stay in for a movie night with cuddling involved.

[drconstellation]

Once and Future Royalty

Just, stay with me on this one. I know its going to look crazy at the start, but trust me, I know where I'm going.

It all started with the 537AD scene in Wessex in the opening montage of "Hard Times," S1E3. Yeah, the one where Aziraphale is supposed to be a knight of the Round Table and Crowley is role-playing the Black Knight, and they are both so super-squeaky shiny clean - not a speck of dirt or mud on them. wtf! It looks out of place, unrealistic, and was bugging the crap out of me, like a stone in your shoe. It just didn't fit. I mean, why put a myth, a legend, into that sequence? Oh, OK, yeah, the preceding stories from the Bible, like the Garden of Eden and the Flood, aren't "myths" as well, you say? Hmm. In the context of the Good Omens AU, being a biblical based story, they belong there far more than the legend of King Arthur.

King Arthur, who supposedly united Britain under his rule during the late 5th century and early 6th century, was shown to have the divine right to rule by wielding the mighty sword Excalibur. Some stories tell of Arthur pulling Excalibur from a stone. Some tell of him receiving Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake. Either way, it was bestowed upon him by divine grace. Despite his triumph in battle, he left no heirs, as his queen, the fair Guinevere, was barren. She had a long-running love affair with the greatest knight of the court, Sir Lancelot, but despite this being an open secret in court Arthur would not put her aside. The knights of the Round Table in the court of Camelot were near-paragons of Christian virtue, and there are many tales of their search for the Holy Grail, the cup from the Last Supper of Jesus Christ.

In the end, mortally wounded in battle, Arthur was taken away for healing, and never seen again. It was said he would return when Britain was at it most direst hour to save the day once more. A "messianic" return.

The Once and Future King.

Now, I'm no Arthurian novice; I drank up all of T. H. White as a teenager, read the Dark is Rising multiple times, Marion Zimmer Bradley's interpretation and what ever else I could lay my hands on for a good couple of decades. And there is LOTS of King Arthur stuff around. You are not left wanting for anything new to read or consume. And I'll bet there are a fair few of you also out there who know a quite bit about the legend as well. Oh, and I can't tell you how many times I have watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I still walk around quoting it day-to-day, like the good little Gen-Xer I am, having grown up on that stuff. So I really should have listened to my intuition when bits of Monty Python kept popping up in my brain in response to other parts of GO I was thinking about. (Staaay, I said, stay with me here....)

I kept chewing away furiously on the Wessex problem, growling in feral frustration at it, but also kept reading and sorting out some other ideas and metas at the same time. Eventually I found the key in a tiny little post, about a small detail in the 1941 Blitz episode S2E4, of all places. I wanted to slap myself with how much was staring me in the face so obviously once the door opened. And the damn beauty of it is, that I already written about some it, out of context, without knowing the why.

OK. Where to start this journey...hmmm, back to Monty Python, because, guess what - the Wessex scene is actually riffing off one the more famous skits out the the Holy Grail. The scene is a masterpiece of political satire, from start to finish, but the relevant part here is this sequence:

In case you missed the salient points: Arthur claims he is king by divine providence, because he was given Excalibur by the Lady of the Lake. Dennis the peasant protests this waterlogged method of determination, mentioning ponds, watery tarts and a moistened... well, I hope you get the idea about where this is going.

Meanwhile, in 537AD, Wessex, as the mist swirls around them:

"It is a bit damp," complains a shiny silver Aziraphale.

Yes, Excalibur would be a bit damp after it emerged from the Lake. (vidavalor! Get your mind out of the gutter! I'm trying to have a serious discussion here! Please! And I wasn't even going to go anywhere near what the sword in the stone is really meant to be referring to...it's not even relevant to the discussion at hand, I swear! Well, there is going to be sexual relations mentioned but - oh, never mind...)

Right. Where were we. Lets leave those super-clean elite pretendy knights to swim off through the swirling mist back to their dry homes to write and file reports to head office, along with Patsy and the hired Igors, and Dennis can keep playing in his lovely muddy filth after he finishes protesting being repressed by the divinely-deluded Arthur. I've got a bit more to say about what Aziraphale and Crowley might represent here later but you need some more context first, so lets move on. I just needed to show you the first bit so you can see the Arthurian theme stretches across both S1 and S2, and will likely appear in S3 as well. More about that towards the end.

Ah, before I forget...another ref from the Holy Grail we need to cover:

This GIF, unfortunately, doesn't have the full exchange between the peasants, which is this:

P1: "Who's that then?" P2: "I don't know. Must be a king." P1: "How can you tell?" P2: "Because he doesn't have any shit on him."

Ah. Er. OH!

Have you made the connection?

Who have I been emphasizing as being unusually clean in their Arthurian setting? That's right, Aziraphale and Crowley.

What's this implying? That they are royalty. Celestial royalty. Maybe not kings, but how about princes? You know how we've been discussing whether Crowley was a once at least an Archangel, and there is even a hint that he was a fallen prince of Heaven given during the replay of Gabriel's trial? (Not the prince, but a prince - a seraphim) And that Aziraphale may have once been Raphael, and may be again in the future? Once and future royalty. To me it adds weight to the past discussion, and helps to explain the assumed authority expressed in these two scenes here: On the left, Aziraphale takes control inside the book shop as the angels and demons argue who is going to punish Gabriel and Beelzebub (finally found it after several months!) and on the right, Crowley is shouting at the assembling demons in the street that they are "out of order."

Onward, Patsy. (I hope you're still with me.)

1941, the Blitz part 2, minisode.

We've found Excalibur! On to Camelot!

[Edit note: I've added a few GIFs and screen shots into the sequence of parallels above because I was thinking over a few things since I posted and felt this actually sat better. To try and explain, as they don't exactly match as I would like, in the Holy Grail movie, King Arthur and the knights he has gathered rock up at the foot of Camelot and gaze up in awe at it. "Camelot!" Arthur declares to the party. "Camelot!" Galahad echoes in excitement. And a third "Camelot!" comes from Lancelot. What do we get in GO? Aziraphale leaps out of the Bentley (Crowley's black horse) and declares "The theater! Sophocles! Shakespeare!" I swear, if you put the two side by side, they would match. It's not just a reminder of how much time Aziraphale has seen pass by, or that we are seeing a tragedy play out. But damn it, I could so just see Aziraphale attending a Sophocles performance in Athens back in the day...]

Camelot was King Arthur's castle and home of his court. In S2 of GO the Windmill Theater is established as our court of Camelot where our 1941 Blitz-era Arthurian drama is to play out, involving Furfur and the zombies.

Yes, poor old Furfur. Two's company, three's a crowd, as they say. Now we know we're in Camelot, we need to be reminded of the central tragedy of the Arthurian story, that ultimately led to the golden kingdom's fall. Lady Guinevere, Arthur's queen, famously loved Sir Lancelot, and the two were passionate lovers. It was essentially a love-triangle at the top, with Arthur being jilted, but he wouldn't/couldn't discard his queen. Where do we see this playing out in 1941?

Furfur, pleased with himself for catching an angel and a demon in the act of consorting together (with the help of the zombies,) barges into the backstage dressing room, and confronts the lovers with their crime. But who is playing who in the Arthurian love triangle? I would say Furfur is clearly caught in the role of Arthur here. Consider the following exchange:

FURFUR: Hmm, well, well, well… What have we here? AZIRAPHALE: Sorry, have we met? FURFUR: Oh, no, you never had the pleasure, but… we have, haven't we? CROWLEY: Have we? FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember? CROWLEY: I remember going into battle, I don't remember being there with you. Sorry. FURFUR: I was right next to you. We did loads together. You use to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat. Anyway, whether you do or whether you don't, it doesn't matter. I'm here to inform you, as a representative of the Higher Powers of Hell, that you, Crowley, are in breach of the Infernal Code. Consulting and collaborating with an angel, Fell the Marvelous, aka… [opens book] Azirapalala. Azirapapap. Aziphapalala. AZIRAPHALE: [annoyed] Aziraphale

Furfur claims a past intimate relationship with Crowley, which Crowley spurns offhandedly. Crowley is playing Guinevere here, jilting Furfur/Arthur, which leaves the demon-smiting Aziraphale standing in for the handsome hero Lancelot (with his French connections, no less), and doesn't he make us weak at the knees when he drops his voice an octave in dominating disgust. (Is it suddenly getting hot in here...? Phew!)

Interestingly, looking back in S1 at 537AD Wessex, though, I would say that Crowley was Lancelot as the Black Knight, a role that Lancelot sometimes played in the legends, and Aziraphale would then be the fair maiden Guinevere. It certainly plays into Crowley's long term role of playing the knight who comes to the rescue of Aziraphale's princess in distress. Excalibur was no where in sight, perhaps still beneath the waters of the lake. Nor Arthur. Perhaps it was still too early in the story then...

I had originally suggested in my very first post that Furfur was given a stag as his demon avatar because he was wearing horns for being cuckolded by Crowley. But I wasn't quite thinking about it in context with the Arthurian legend! The stag is also often associated with royalty, plus while wandering around the medieval bestiary website that someone linked to, it interestingly notes that the enemy of the snake is the stag and the stork (Shax's avatar.) Ah ha!

So how can we extrapolate this knowledge into a possible appearance of the Arthurian theme in S3?

Will we see the love triangle of Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot come back into play and cause more chaos? I'm wondering if it might have something to do with the Fall.

Or will our lovers bring down a divinely-appointed ruler via their committed behind-the-back defiance of expected propriety?

Will Excalibur appear from beneath the waters, perhaps in another form, to declare a new king?

Could it even be a combination Jesus/Arthur, King of the World, returned? And they turn out to be a very naughty boy, disappearing into the night clubs of Times Square, New York, and that's how they lose him? (Social media viral sensation, anyone?)

I wouldn't be half-surprised if Greasy Johnson's name turns out to be Arthur, actually.

And no, I haven't forgotten that Adam's dad was named Arthur as well.

Bring on S3!

**Bonus**

If you've made it this far and you're thinking:

Let me leave you with this last connection.

In the back stage change room, remember Furfur delivers these lines:

FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember?

On the first level, he is referring the Great War in the Good Omens AU.

On the second level, Furfur is paraphrasing Milton's Paradise Lost.

On a third level, I can (and will in a future meta) connect this back to the training initiative paintball fight at Tadfield Manor in S1.

And even deeper on a fourth level, if you do know the Holy Grail movie well, you'll remember there is an odd little subplot in it, that infers that the whole King Arthur and his knights thing is merely a full-on violent cosplay that is murderously rampaging across the countryside in the present day with the police in hot pursuit. It's a strange juxtaposition between reality and dream, and you aren't quite sure what it is real or not. The ending is bizarrely and abruptly surreal as the two story lines collide in the heat of battle, as the police turn up and arrest the combatants. A bit like this:

[louis--wifey]

Your Stupid Face || Texcali

Pairing: Texas x California

Warning(s): angst with a fluffy ending

Word count: 1346

Summary: Based on Your Stupid Face by Kaden MacKay

Texas would not be shocked to find out that California hated him. He didn't like him much either. They had to deal with each other because of the state meetings that they both would agree are insanely tedious. At least they could agree on something, right?

California hated Texas, hated how happy he was, hated how proud he was, hated how patriotic he was. He hated everything about him from his looks to his views. California hated Texas because he could never agree with him. Their views were so different there is no way that either of them could truly ever get along.

Sometimes Cal would like to insult Texas straight to his face and tell him that he's a disgrace to humanity but he doesn't do that. He has too much of a guilt complex to insult anyone right to their face.

That doesn't stop him from thinking mean things though, or imagining that he's saying them to Texas. He’d imagined the hurt look on his face and smiled to himself. Does that make him a horrible person?

If California could make Texas disappear without a trace then he would consider it a perfect world. But since the world could never be that great, he’ll just hate his stupid face.

California was glad that he only saw Texas on meeting days but his gladness went away when he was forced to stay at the statehouse. It didn't help that Florida and Louisiana messed with the room chart… California was placed right beside Texas and had to share a bathroom with him, New York, Washington, and Oklahoma.

Cal has lived at the statehouse for three months now. He sees Texas everyday, hears him laughing, notices his smiles. They actually started getting along.

California was shocked to say the least when Texas asked him to join him and a few other states to a movie night. He didn't really ask, he just shoved a bowl of popcorn in Cal’s hands and told him to join him in watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Something about Texas suddenly asking California to do random activities with him became normal. Cal actually liked it.

At some point he laid in bed, eyes wide open at the realization that he liked Texas. He really liked Texas. “Nooo!” He’d groan to himself. How could this happen? He hated Texas, right?

California really liked how happy Texas looked. He really liked his laugh, and his smile. He just really liked his face. He’d like to tell him but how could he? They were so different. And Cal wasn't one to flaunt his love. Maybe he’d hope that Texas would notice or even say that he liked him first.

California had come to enjoy state meetings because he sat across from Texas, meaning he could stare at him. Texas did notice this, he’d notice that every time he’d notice Cal staring at him, California would turn red and look away.

Texas started talking to him more after that. They’d hang out so much it confused all the other states, did they like each other now? Yes. At some point they’d shared their first kiss.

When Texas wasn't at a meeting or even in the same room as California he felt so out of place. Like a plant without roots or a song on mute.

Part of California believed that Texas should fear being in a relationship with him. Every relationship he’d ever been in ends horribly, he'd eventually scare him away.

If the world was perfect, Texas would have never invaded California’s space. But the world is obsessed with saying “psych”. Now Cal likes his stupid face.

California and Texas have been together for a month and a half. They cuddled almost every night, watched movies together, and listened to music. California was somewhat shocked when Texas said he hadn't seen Brokeback Mountain so they watched it immediately.

Eventually California would become correct, he got too comfortable and he couldn't take it. Before he knew it, he was sabotaging his own relationship, like he’d done so many times before.

Texas and California got into a fight. A fight left Cal standing helpless in the middle of his room and Texas's back getting further away.

Cal laid curled up in his bed, thinking of what he should’ve done. Why was he like this? Finally a good thing came his way and he sabotaged it like he’d always done.

California still couldn't stop thinking about Texas and how much he missed his face, his smile, his laugh, his touch… But it didn't matter now, Texas was probably disgusted by him, by his stubbornness.

California knew life was cruel and that he was cruel to himself. He was foolish to trust himself, he was foolish to trust Texas. He knew he was being senseless. How could he be so naive? How could he be naive enough to put his heart in his sleeve knowing that he would drop it himself.

If the world was perfect Texas would be in California’s embrace. Since the world denied him one last kiss, Cal will just miss his stupid face.

Three weeks passed after their break up. California was startled by a knock on his bedroom door. He stood from his bed and opened his door. Cal was shocked to see Texas standing there.

California’s breath caught in his throat. “What are you doing here?” He asked, he came out much more coldly than he met for it to be.

Texas stood there for a minute, “I thought about you. After you ran away-”

“I didn't run away!” California crosses his arms defensively. He paused for a moment. “It was, it was a strategic retreat.”

Texas gave him a look and rolled his eyes in a superficial way. “I want to talk to you.”

“What is there to talk about?” California asked in an almost theatrical manner. “It's over, I ruined it.”

“Well… Are you sorry?” Texas asked, he tilted his head to the side as he did.

“Well, yeah, of course I'm sorry, but-” California started, he couldn't forgive himself even though he was sorry.

“Then I forgive you.” Texas stepped towards Cal and placed his hand on his cheek.

“No, no, don't forgive me!” California snapped and pushed Texas's hand away from him. “Why do you do that? Why, why give me another chance to mess things up?”

Texas swatted California’s hand away and placed his back on Cal’s cheek. “Because I love you.”

California stood there in complete shock. “Because you, what?”

Those three words were completely uncalled for, especially from Texas. Why didn't he hate him? Why did he care? Couldn't he just barate him? Wouldn't that be fair?

How could he leave their problems and pain on the shelf! If Texas didn't hate California then he couldn't hate himself. But maybe that's why Cal needed him, he shattered his fear. Despite his misdeed, Texas was still right there.

California thinks that it was stupid to date him but Texas was willing to try. If Tex didn't hate him, why should he?

California stared up at Texas. “Are you sure you don't want to give up on me?”

Texas smiled down at Cal. “I’m sure.”

“You're a moron…” California muttered as Texas leaned forward and kissed him.

So Texas thought that they could work? Here, California thought he was the dumb one. Texas smirked down at California. “What?” California asked as he pouted.

Texas forgave him for all he did wrong, he was unmuting a song, and California felt like he was in the right place. Once again he belonged to someone.

California wished Texas would drop his stupid smirk, though by now he'd earned that. No matter how intensely Cal would pout, Tex’s would always win out, it's time California learned that.

Though they went together like a Chanel No. 5 and mace. At least it's not as dull as fitting like a glove. Texas is a nightmare that California had not been dreaming about. When push came to shove, California loved his stupid face.

[thebarontheabyss]

Haven’t seen a ~character ask~ for a while heree so lemme ask:

The bar has a dvd and a tv now, what will be each character fav movie to watch?

Hehehe thanks, I love answering asks like that!

Keep them coming; it actually really helps me define the characters.

Now for your brilliant ask!

Death would absolutely adore Pride & Prejudice. They will get swept up in the romance, falling for both Elizabeth and Darcy (bi icon), releasing little sniffles and dreamy sighs while reaching for the tissues.

Lilith/Damian would be all in for Mad Max: Fury Road. The non-stop action and sheer chaos would have them on the edge of their seat, "We should have a race like that!" they'd shout, already plotting a hellish version of their own.

Morgan/a will be captivated by The Matrix, drawn to its alien technology—so far from magic yet a bit similar. The problem? They spend hours over-analyzing it, boring poor Pepper out.

Hastur is another surprise—it's Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The coconut horse joke will send him reeling, and his usual calm will be shattered by uncontrolled chuckles.

Peisinoe is kind of obvious—but it's Chicago! Afterward, they will definitely add "All That Jazz" to their setlist.

Bless her heart, Shelly will be obsessed with Charlotte's Web, and honestly, that's a top-notch choice. So she ate.

Yaga would hate 90% of movies in existence but also would absolutely love The Princess Bride.

The Raven's love for Mean Girls would have him quoting lines at every opportunity, much to everyone's annoyance. Stop trying to make fetch happen, Raven.

He Without Name will never ask for a specific movie, but if you put WALL-E on, he becomes surprisingly animated, echoing the robots with a hint of joy.

[ramgirlpaul]

Tagged by @longing4yesterday for a get to know you q&a thankyou q I love youuuuuu <33 under the cut for ease of dashboard

Last song; Impacto- Enjambre

Last book; Currently reading Be Kind, my Neighbor by Yugo Limbo ^^ yugolimbo projects I love you soso dearly everyone please pick one and play/read it through. Smile for me recommended

Last movie; Monty Python's Life of Brian! I'm catching up on monty python projects since I've only ever seen the holy grail.

Last show; Legitimately no idea I barely watch shows .... I think the last time I watched a show was sometime mid last year. What we do in the shadows maybe ?

Last thing i searched; "the Beatles in 1962" for drawing references :)

Sweet/savory/spicy; I have such a sweet tooth that god punished me by making me develop a really strong tooth sensitivity to sweetness like 2 or so years ago. It won't stop me. Swet treat or I die.. which is probably why I developed the sensitivity in the first place

Relationship status; taken, twice! Coming up on 4 yrs but since there's three of us it counts as 12, I think.

Looking forward to; getting the fuck out of here our landlord keeps pushing back the date that the new apartment will be available first it was the 1st then the 7th now the 15th somebody either help me give me a house or kill him i swear to god. I'm also looking forward to catching a complete unknown in theatres :)

Current obsession; so there's this boy band from the 60s ... no. It's too obscure I don't think you guys would know them...

tagging; open to you all I love you <33

[mama-qwerty]

Unintentional Insult

From the Knucklesverse au.

~~~~~

Callie sat on the couch, Eclipse spread across her lap, Silver at her hip. Around her sat a handful of Knuckles. (Yes, she was aware that a group of echidna was call a 'parade' but saying there was a 'parade' of Knuckles in her house sounded stupid, so she made up her own term. A handful. Which made so much more sense to her.)

All eyes were on the television before them. She'd treated the group to a movie night at her house, and put in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. She figured it was a safe enough bet for all involved, and thought Gawain may get a kick out of seeing 'himself' featured in a movie.

It seemed to be a hit—lots of laughs at the jokes and various silliness. Little Z got a kick out of the Black Knight, and Cal figured they'd hear the Tis but a scratch! thing in the foreseeable future.

She kept flicking her eyes to Gawain to gauge his reaction, and found him sitting with a slight frown on his muzzle. Curious, she paused the movie, much to the annoyance of the others.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Gawain?"

The echidna turned, almost startled, at the interruption. "I am . . . surprised to see there were people so similar to us on your world. Is this based on factual events?"

A smile curled Callie's lip. "Eh, not really. I mean, the Arthurian legend is real, but this is just satire. A funny story with the characters."

Gawain lowered his head, in the classic "Knuckles thinking" pose. He hummed, his brow furrowed.

"I suppose given the different forms we've seen in the Sanctuary, it shouldn't seem strange that there would be a human version of myself. But somehow it seems . . . strangest of all."

Callie lifted an eyebrow. "Oh? How so?"

The echidna shook his head, glancing back at the TV. "Hearing my name directed at a human is odd."

The woman shrugged. "We didn't have any echidna Knux's. Maybe this was the universe's way to bring that bit of honor and nobility to Earth."

Gawain nodded, but still looked distracted. "I understand that, but still. There are other creatures that could carry a similar nobility. Why a human?"

A tense silence settled over the living room then. It took Gawain a moment to realize what he'd said, and he turned with wide eyes to the others.

The other Knuckles’ stared at him, glared at him. Boom lay on his belly next to him, Dread was on the couch leaning against the arm. Gnarly and Renegade sat on the floor with their backs against the couch on Callie's other side. And Little Z sat at Callie's other hip.

And they all wore identical expressions of annoyance.

Even Eclipse and Silver stared at the knight.

Gawain flicked his eyes up to Callie, the actual human in their midst. She simply watched him, her eyes slightly narrowed, but a little curl on her lips.

He swallowed hard.

"I . . ." he started, clearing his throat to rid the slight shake. "I meant no disrespect. There's nothing wrong with being a human, of course, I simply don't . . . I didn't . . ."

"Ye better think long and hard ‘bout the next words outta yer mouth, lad," Dread said, his own eyes narrowing. His lip pulled into a slight snarl. "'Cause I won't sit here an' let ye insult this fine lass simply for how she be born."

Gawain swallowed again. He wasn't normally one to give any credence to Dread's threats, but he'd stuck his foot in his mouth and it was hard to extract it at the moment.

"I . . ." he said again, and pushed himself to stand. He held his hands in tight fists by his sides, and gave Callie a firm bow. "I apologize for my insult. I . . . I didn't think. I hope you don't think too ill of me now."

He straightened and looked toward the front door, where his armor was neatly stacked. Callie had made him take them off so it didn't scratch or snag any of her furniture.

"I believe I should go. I am sorry for my rudeness."

The echidna turned and hurried toward the door, cursing his tongue for saying something so rude without thinking. He reached for his breastplate when a hand fell on his shoulder. Gawain whirled, expecting perhaps Dread ready to lash out, but found Callie instead.

"Hey," she said, her voice soft. "Hang on a sec. I wasn't insulted. Humans are . . . well, we can be problematic, yeah. But that's not really strange, I don't think. I'd wager any species could have their bad eggs, echidna included. But I understand it feeling a little odd to hear your name attached to someone else."

Gawain stood with his head slightly lowered, but gave her a nod. "I am still sorry for what I said. Before you and Madam Maddie, the only other human I encountered was a vile witch who wanted to claim the kingdom as her own. So . . . I did not have a very good impression of your kind."

Callie hunkered down on one knee to come more face-to-face with the echidna.

"Hey, I get it. I mean, if I met Dread first, I probably wouldn't have a very good impression of echidna in general, either."

"Oi! I can hear ye!" a voice called, the annoyance evident. "And here I be stickin' up for ye! Aye, there's gratitude for ye."

Callie gave Gawain a little smile, which the knight returned.

"No need to be sorry, and no need to leave. C'mon, wanna finish the movie? I'll make some popcorn."

Gawain seemed to consider this, before giving her a shy smile. "May I have some of that warm cocoa?"

"Absolutely. C'mon, you can even help."

His misdeed forgotten, Gawain smiled, and followed his friend toward the kitchen. Callie passed by the couch, as Dread gave her a little evil eye.

"Where be my apology?"

Callie shoved his hat a little further down on his head with a smirk. "You still love me, little pirate man. You know it."

Dread gave a little grunt, straightening his hat. "Against me better judgment."

"Want a popcicle?"

A pause. "Yes, ma'am."

Boom pushed himself up. "Oh, snacks?! Count me in!"

Callie found herself leading a handful of Knuckles, a hedgehog, and a darkling into the kitchen, ready to raid her cabinets to satisfy their case of the munchies.

[icy-watch]

It wasn't outright stated, but I'm almost 100% sure that King is a Titan. The child of the Titan that makes up the Boiling Isles.

Which would mean that there's very long gestation period for an egg. Unless, King's gestation period was longer than normal due to nobody being around to actually care for the egg as it should have been.

This is a very bold claim, but it feels right. A lot of things just kind of point to it. Especially in this episode alone.

It's just really sad bc when King realizes where his father is, and what Belos has done to him... Yeah.

That symbol that King carved into his name tag. I'm really not sure if that's his name or a spell or something. It really was all over the tower.

My mind is also going to Francois. First and foremost: Where did that rabbit get a knife? I know rabbits are deadly, I've seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) numerous times. So, like, if worst comes to worse, I know how to get rid of Francois.

A part of me is thinking that Francois is somehow animate. Either by someone controlling the stuffed animal or by a spell.

Another part of me is thinking that, like Sophie Hatter in Howls Moving Castle by Dianna Wynne Jones, by talking to Francois, King made him animated.

It's probably neither of those, but that's where my brain's at.

This episode was the second time a minor character who can alter the physical appearance of their body swung an axe at Luz. I'm pretty sure that's foreshadowing to something in the future. A main antagonist using an against Luz.

That probably won't happen until later this season tho.

Ok, so, I'm feeling like only 1 episode tomorrow unless I can magically squeeze in 2. I'd really like that, but things just haven't been aligning well when I try for it. So, just the 1. Until then!

[halfetirosie]

˖⁺‧₊˚ Shenanigans are Shenanigan-ing ˚₊‧⁺˖

(Marvels 01-02 React-os!)

WELL THEN, THIS IS QUITE THE DRAMATIC WAY TO COLD-OPEN AN EVENT...

(Me: *Opens the event*)

(*Immediately greeted with DEATH*)

Okay Game, you have my attention! Damn! XD

2) In WHAT UNIVERSE would Resident Giant Quincy and Tiny King Topper kill each other???

(No, really, in which universe? We already know about the Nu World Demon King's universe, so there's bound to be more...)

Honestly tho, the image of tiny Topper viciously fighting Quincy is honestly hilarious to me.

Like, have any of ya'll seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Remember the part with the bunny? I imagine it going something like that! (≧∇≦)

3) PFFFFFT!!!!! (≧∇≦)

♡ DRUNK TOPPER!!!! ♡

(I know he's old enough to be legally allowed to drink alcohol, but just because he can doesn't mean he should...)

4) Whoever does the lil' animations in the events should get a raise!!!

I know they're not super detailed---it's literally just moving PNGs around on the screen---but damn, if they aren't just the funniest and most charming things!!!

5) FINALLY, A GOOD VEST OUTFIT FOR EIDEN!!!!!

HONESTLY???? Loving it! With the unbuttoned shirt, sunglasses, and loose tie, it's giving me big

⁺˚⋆｡°✩ 1970s vibes! ✩°｡⋆˚⁺

6) Rei being an Introvert Icon; never telling the fam when they arrive or when they leave, not being noticed, people-watching...

7) REIIIII!!!! JUST LET THEM LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!

*heavy sigh*

Like, on the one hand, I relate to the introversion. But also, knowing what we know about Rei---bitch, he NEEDS THE HUMAN INTERACTION!!!

(Oh GOD, I'm starting to feel like a nagging grandmother now....WELL THAT'S TOO BAD, CUZ SOMETIMES THE OLD FOLKS' WISDOM IS CORRECT!!!!!)

8) 🚨🚨🚨 HOT GUY ALERT!!!! 🚨🚨🚨

Yoooo, the fashion sense of this dude is RIDICULOUS (positive)!!!!

Is he a bird yokai?? Like a crow or something, since crows in stories are known for liking shiny things?? (He does have on a bird mask like the bird yokai we've seen before, and fingers have a gradient thing going on, so I suspect he's a yokai.)

If he is, then that does make things more interesting, because hasn't it been mentioned multiple time that humans and yokai aren't on very familiar/friendly terms?? Do the event organizers not know that this dude is a yokai???

I'm intrigued....

♡ End of report! ♡

[seriousbrat]

Serious question: what do you think Lily’s favorite movie was?

Okay I've been thinking about this question! It's somewhat difficult because I don't think she would have been going to see a lot of movies later in the 70s, not once she's in the Order- though maybe she might have taken James at some point just so he could see what it was like.

Unfortunately (because I hate w*ody Allen) i kind of think she might have liked Annie Hall (1977), had she seen it. But I think my answer might be Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975). I can see her taking James to Life of Brian as well. Maybe she liked something weird like Harold and Maude (1971) but she was a bit young when it was released, or something alt and punky like Jubilee (1978)

There were probably films from the 60s she saw on television (back then it apparently took like... a decade for films to appear on TV after being released in cinemas) like Georgy Girl (1966) and A Taste of Honey (1961). I see her liking films about plucky young heroines haha. Also I think she would have pretended not to like things like Grease because Petunia did lol, but secretly enjoyed them.

And I know you didn't ask about TV but she likely would have been watching more TV than movies since it was more accessible/constantly available, things like Coronation Street, Fawlty Towers and ofc Doctor Who. She probably grew up with Oliver Postgate series (they're beautiful, highly recommend) like The Clangers and Pogles' Wood, as well as Blue Peter and the Basil Brush Show lol (he's a fox, not a squirrel!)

Sorry that got so long!!

[mrscottdavis]

Filmmaker-A-Month: Terry Gilliam- Wrap Up

This month’s watch was a blast! Even the Gilliam films that aren’t great (the 2000s) aren’t horrible to watch. I had fun! It was the perfect way to end a year full of great films and tired late-night Scotts. Above is my ranking and here are some thoughts.

I’ve seen other Gilliam lists that don’t include Holy Grail because it’s believed that most of the live-action stuff was directed by Terry Jones, but I don’t care. I’ve made it my number 1, a bit because of nostalgia and a bit because it still makes me laugh hard after 30 years. In all the Monty Python films (and sketches) there are a ton of throw away lines that are just golden. So good. I’m pretty sure I was introduced to Monty Python before ever watching SNL so I think they were my introduction to sketch comedy, besides Looney Tunes and Disney shorts (which I now consider sketch comedy).

I used to think Brazil was a masterpiece and would have been at the very top of my ranking. I still think it’s a fantastic film but was kind of shocked that I placed it 4th. I just didn’t find it as solid as the 3 in front of it. 

I do think The Fisher King IS a masterpiece. I hadn’t seen it since I was a kid and it blew me away. I think it’s his most grounded film; all the fantastical, Gilliamesque elements are imagined, which gives it a bit more heart than something like Brazil. I also think it’s Robin WIlliams’s best performance. 

12 Monkeys was one of the coolest movies I’d ever seen when I was in high school. And it still is. I’ve never watched the TV show. Should I?

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen gets a bad rap. It was a box office flop but I think it’s due for a reevaluation for cult status because it’s fun as hell and doesn’t feel out of place along with Gilliam’s best. I believe Time Bandits is considered a great film of his and this is even better. 

I think the failed Johnny Depp Quixote film broke Terry. All the films he made after it fell apart are missing something. And that something is a plot that makes sense. All of them are just so confusing it doesn’t matter if they’re cool to look at. With the exception of Brother’s Grimm, which makes sense but is not cool to look at.

I guess some people really like Tideland. I did not. It’s gross. It made me very uncomfortable. Starts with a little girl giving her dad heroin, ends with pedophilia. Nothing redeemable in it for me. Sorry.

I really hope that since he’s finally made the Quixote film he’ll knock the next one out of the park. He has something in development. Fingers crossed.

And that was year 2 of Filmmaker-A-Month! What a year! Thanks for following along, if you did follow along. Is anyone reading this? I have no idea. Moving on to year 3. It’s not going to be much different except I’ll be starting the year with a little lighter load so I can get caught up with some 2024 films. Find out who I’ll be starting with tomorrow! Check out the clues on IG, Twitter, other place, other other place. Follow me everywhere!

[tookishcombeferre]

A Just War?: Was There an Uprising on the Horizon Beyond Sorcerers in the Kingdom of Enchancia and Beyond? Part 1: What is Just War and Why am I doing this to You?

"Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!" (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) So, I will preface this by saying this was my bread and butter when I was a budding English major in university. I studied psycho-social dilemmas in literature from a combination of historical, theological, and psychological perspectives. Now ... I am stay at home parent, and I am happy to do that. But, your boy has gotta put their mind to work somewhere. Sooooooooo ... I am applying my theoretical English work that I used to use on novels like Lord of the Rings, Les Miserables, and a whole bunch of other classics to Sofia the First because, why the heck not. This is long, and really academic. I've thought about this way more than I should have. The revolutionary in me that loves Les Miserables is just like ... I'd have loved to have seen the peasants just rise up against Roland II led by my abused little trash-panda sorcerer boy because, I think, Roland is a tyrant. I'm mostly kidding? Please don't take me fully seriously. I am taking the show WAY too seriously on purpose. I just really wanted an excuse to write this essay. Okay?

Anyway, here are my justifications for why the peasants, Cedric, and really all of Roland II's staff, would be justified in overthrowing him and instituting a democracy or some kind of other system of government according to their own choice. Essay below the cut. This will be a multi part post. I broke Tumblr. Tags apply across posts. (Dear Lord above, what am I writing?)

First post is outlining, what is "Just War?" Here is a link to a whole article on Just War Theory. But, to summarize the point that I'm focusing on I'm going to use a couple of bullet points.

Historically, there are rules to how the war should be fought they are as follows:

A. The war can only be fought with certain weapons, with certain styles of combat, and in a certain way.

B. The warring peoples share a set of values, and the person declaring war is declaring war on the way the other person broke those values.

C. However, this all goes out the window when someone is seen as "less than human" because then we can't talk to each other anymore.

2. However, Just War Theory seeks to provide terms that go beyond those above three conventions because it wants to include those "less than human" parties in the conversation.

3. There are three parts to Just War Theory they are as follows: A. The Jus Ad Bellum Convention: This basically states that the warring parties have "just cause, being a last resort, being declared by a proper authority, possessing right intention, having a reasonable chance of success, and the end being proportional to the means used." (See link) So, like, this has to do with the pre-thought. It's all about the reasoning and what you did to prevent it from happening.

B. The Principles of Jus In Bello: This basically states that "just conduct within war fall under the two broad principles of discrimination and proportionality. The principle of discrimination concerns who are legitimate targets in war, whilst the principle of proportionality concerns how much force is morally appropriate." (See link) So, this section has to do with what the people do in the war. Who is caught in the crossfire? Who are your targets? Are they the right targets? When you find your targets, what kind of force do you use? Do you kill them? Do you just arrest them? Do you freeze them with magical stone powers? (Kay, we don't do that IRL, but you get the idea.) C. Jus post bellum: This states that once someone is conquered in whatever way they're going to be conquered that "the principle of discrimination should be employed to avoid imposing punishment on innocents or non-combatants; the rights or traditions of the defeated deserve respect; the claims of victory should be proportional to the war’s character; compensatory claims should be tempered by the principles of discrimination and proportionality; and, controversially, the need to rehabilitate or re-educate an aggressor should also be considered." So, that means that once you conquer another person you should not excessively punish the citizens of that country and you should try to teach the person you conquered not to do the bad thing again - if possible.

In this case study, we focusing only on the first part of the question. Meaning, we are focusing on whether or not Roland II deserves to go down and his citizens and staff deserve a better king. In my hypothetical case study, the war has not happened yet. We have not built the barricade ... yet. Part 1|| Part 2

[hollowwhisperings]

The Mythology of Keyblades: Riku the Beach Boy of Avalon

This theory is partially Crack and partially a genuine investigation into the usage of Arthurian mythology within the KH series.

(this line from Monty Python & the Holy Grail inspired this whole theory: all i had to do was replace the referenced [Lady of the Lake] with Riku)

If you've loitered about the Kingdom Hearts fandom enough and read enough interviews with Tetsuya Nomura, you'll soon conclude that Riku is Tetsuya Nomura's Favourite Child in this series. Riku is the driving force for most of KH's story beats & Riku has played deuteragonist to Sora, story-wise if not in gameplay, in every game that isn't a prequel. Riku seems to gain a new & unique special ability with every game (often at a harsh price). Yet, for all the time the audience spends with Riku... the series is very careful about revealing anything about the boy beyond his utter devotion to Sora. The game even encourages players to Forget and Overlook the integral roles Riku plays in the series, typically via throwing a Kairi between him & Sora.

Jokes aside, while Riku's Secret Anime Prince coding is STRONG, it is not the point being explored here: there are 2 seemingly nonsensical Disney Crossovers established prior to most everything else: 'Alice in Wonderland' (something somewhat explored in my 'Princesses of Light as Stars' series of tinhattery) and 'The Sword In The Stone'. This post shall examine the latter, an animated adaption of the King Arthur myth, and how it is represented in KH not solely through the character of 'Merlin' but as the underlying principle behind the x-blade, Keyblade Wielding & how Riku acts as Kingdom Hearts itself.

Boy at Beach Distrubiting Swords

Let's start with Riku's Keyblades: he has had more than one, not due to gears or keychains but due to... apparently being able to churn fresh swords from his Heart as the Plot Requires.

The different keyblades used by Riku throughout the series thus far are the following:

Kingdom Key (Sora's default keyblade)

Souleater/Way to the Dawn (Riku's default from KH1 until KH2.9)

the Keyblade of Heart (while possessed by Apprentice Xehanort's Heartless, AKA Ansem Seeker of Darkness);

the [Combined Keyblade/"Gayblade"] (alongside Sora)

Braveheart (Riku's current keyblade)

(given that King Mickey found Kingdom Key-D in the Dark equivalent of the Destiny Islands & the whole "x-blade was made of light & darkness" thing... THAT keyblade, currently wielded by King Mickey, may ALSO come from Riku)

That's 5 different keyblades (6 if we include Kingdom Key-D), and ALL have been seen onscreen with at least 1 other, typically Kingdom Key, marking each of these keyblades as being 'distinct' and 'separate' from each other. Before figuring out what Heart Maths may be at play here... a brief interlude.

Young Adult Gifts Toddler Giant Sword: More Wholesome than it Sounds

Supposedly, the ability to [manifest] & "wield" a keyblade is only possible through a successful Bequeathing Ceremony: Terra performed such a ceremony for Riku in BBS. This, however, is a method passed on by the Master of Masters & subsequent schools of keyblade masters: given... literally EVERYTHING seen on "traditional" schools of keyblade mastery, this Premise is Factually Dubious. The series shows multiple characters manifesting or otherwise wielding keyblades without any such ceremonies: even assuming that these rites "carry over" through acts of Posession and Cloning, the Need for a ceremony becomes questionable. This would not be the first (nor last) time in the KH series that the "knowledge" of Foretellers, Mentors & Scholars prove to be Assumptions rather than Absolute Fact.

Exhibit A: Axel & Accidents

Axel is the best example as, unless we are later informed that Subject X performed the ceremony on Lea (or that Roxas or Xion did so without knowing), Axel has never been part of nor possessed by an existing keyblade wielder: his keyblade is entirely his own, a surprise to all.

Sora & Kairi were never formally bequeathed a keyblade though the latter "accidentally" inherited the ability from Aqua in BBS. Sora never had such a ceremony, the KH Wiki (dubious resource that it is) explains Sora's keyblade wielding as being a result of Ventus sleeping within Sora's Heart: I think it is more likely that, unlike the Formal Ceremonies of past keyblade schools may have taught, Hearts do not actually require outside recognition of "worth" in order to manifest a keyblade.

Once Upon A Meteor Shower

Riku's Heart entrusting Kingdom Key to Sora in KH1, a last-ditch effort from its Light to keep to its Oath of Protection, strikes me as being more "faithful" to what we have observed of keyblades in-game. For all that the formally schooled Keyblade Wielders past recited "May Your Heart Be Your Guiding Key", no one embodies the intent of this principle more than the entirely self-taught Sora: Riku and King Mickey likely next closest in trusting their Hearts over what they have been taught.

A Heart entrusting its physical manifestation to Another due to the Connection between them seems a "Truer" bequeathment than the (admittedly heartwarming) recitations of a stranger. Keyblades may NOW be deemed "weapons" to conquer Darkness... but the original x-blade was made of Light AND Darkness, a union of forces working in balance rather than opposition. The first x-blade was a tool for Protection, not Hurt: a creation of Heart and, thus, of Love.

Exhibit B: Body & Hearts

A creation of "Heart". As in, 1 heart = 1 keyblade. Multiple hearts in 1 body? Multiple keyblades.

Roxas is the Go-To example: the Nobody Twin of Naminé, created when Sora "unlocked" Kairi from his Heart whilst Ventus slept within it.

Roxas, in his every appearance, is capable of Dual Wielding: a keyblade from Sora, a keyblade from Ventus. Upon gaining an independent, replika body... Roxas can still, apparently, dual-wield.

...despite no longer sharing the Hearts of Sora nor Ventus (nor Xion).

(as this is a Riku speculation post, not a "what the heck is up with Roxas" one, i'll just... put a Pin in this mystery for now but the "maths" of 1 heart = 1 keyblade are, indeed, still facts of canon: Nomura confirmed as much when revealing the Above Album Art he made for Utada Hikaru's KH3 songs)

Exhibit C: Proof of Concept

Then we have Aqua: she lost her keyblade between saving Ven & falling into Darkness. The keyblade of Master Eraqus came to her aid: this is consistent with the established concept of Bequeathing Ceremonies. It's uncertain whether the same person can bequeath keyblade-wielding to multiple persons but it seems likely given the scale of the Unions in KHX.

(At that same point in time, the Heart of Eraqus was hidden within a Nort'd Terra: 3 Hearts existed within Apprentice Xehanort, all of them in conflict with each other, to varying degrees.)

The keyblade Aqua receives, the keyblade of Master Eraqus, is named 'Master's Defender'. This was originally the keyblade of the Dandelion Brain but was passed onto Ephemer and from pupil to student until eventually being inherited by Eraqus. This seemingly aligns with the concept of Masters 'bequeathing' keyblades to students, specifically THEIR keyblades.

Interestingly, Riku has never wielded Terra's keyblade (or its likeness, via keychain) 'Earthshaker/Ends of the Earth' after its being bequeathed to him, likely due to its remaining with Terra's 'Soul', the 'Lingering Will' within his armour. If this is the case... NONE of the keyblades Riku has conjured or wielded are a result of his Bequeathment Ceremony. Terra's Keyblade becomes a 6th (or 7th) keyblade connected to Riku, albeit an unused one.

Speaking of Terra...

Xemnas (the Nobody of Apprentice Xehanort AKA 'TerraNort') is NEVER seen wielding a keyblade, let alone two.

...but he DOES wield two [lightsabers]/'Ethereal Blades'.

If Xemnas had ever believed in his own personhood, it's plausible that he could have dual wielded keyblades like Roxas... though the conflict between the Hearts of Xehanort & Terra are unlikely to have cooperated long enough for dualwielding to be sustainable in combat.

Back to the Beginning

Kingdom Key was formed by the Light within Riku's Heart. That Light entrusted itself to Sora while Riku himself was lost in Darkness. Riku is later seen wielding a different keyblade, 'Soul Eater'. Given that KH1 sets up a premise of there being 'two' Kingdom Keys, one of Light & one of Darkness... perhaps 'Soul Eater' was made from the Darkness within Riku's Heart. Maleficent or Ansem SOD would know better than most anyone how to create such a thing.

(it's still Weird that Riku's Heart is the ONLY Heart we see capable of manifesting TWO, simultaneously existing & separately wielded keyblades: Riku using Souleater never prevented Sora from using Kingdom Key; Souleater becoming 'Way to the Dawn' did not affect Kingdom Key; and Riku & Sora use each other's keyblades interchangeably in KH2, even dualwielding at times)

While Riku is possessed by Ansem SoD (the heartless of Apprentice Xehanort), he wields a keyblade forged by the hearts of 6 of the 7 Princesses of Heart: this keyblade is named 'Keyblade of Heart' or 'Keyblade of People's Hearts'. This is an artificially made keyblade, wielded by an entity made up of at least 4 people's Hearts (Riku, Xehanort, Terra, Eraqus) and it does not seem to survive past Ansem SoD's defeat.

During the events of KH2.9 (at the 'Drop Point' between the first timeline of KH3 & Sora's First Retcon), Riku and King Mickey find themselves struggling in the depths of the Realm of Darkness. They had hoped to find the missing Master Aqua yet their journey has only proven the point of Master Yen Sid's preventing such a rescue 10 years prior: alone, surviving the journey to the abyss would be all but impossible. Similarly, Sora immediately post-DDD would not have survived the pace set by Mickey & Riku: Sora needed the lessons and confidence boost he found through Herc & Meg before he was truly ready for Aqua's Attempted Rescue.

Before Sora has his Hero Moment (complete with Riku's slow-mo heart-eye reaction to it), Riku's keyblade 'Way to the Dawn'... breaks. Riku also spontaneously gets a Hair Cut. Not due to any attack landing on him from the Demon Tide nor due to any bout of Gay Agony: just... "randomly" (Sleeping Realm Theory covers this).

So then Riku casually manifests a BRAND NEW KEYBLADE, while not at all possessed nor acting as a Heart Hotel, and that keyblade is Braveheart.

(which is basically Kingdom Key but Make It Modern)

It's also in the Realm of Darkness that Sora & Riku first wield their Combined Keyblade whilst in the same plane of reality: in DDD, they wielded their blade across parallel dreamscapes. The [combined keyblade] in KH3 looks exactly as it did in Dream Drop Distance: half Mirage Split, half Nightmare's End.

How Many Hearts Does 1 Riku Have?

The highest number of "hearts" occupying 1 Riku is 10, in KH1: his own, Xehanort's & Terra's, the ghost of Master Eraqus (still biding his time for Maximum Drama), with the 6 Disney Princesses of Heart smooshed within the 'Keyblade of Heart' the Riku Vessel is wielding.

By that time in KH1, both Sora and Riku have wielded Kingdom Key. Riku had also acquired & begun wielding the 'Souleater' keyblade.

Kingdom Key is the keyblade born of the Light in Riku's Heart: a sword entrusted to a Crowned Prince from someone hidden within water, a gift that marks its wielder as a saviour and a fate-chosen king. Sora bears Riku's Crown, a pendant he is never seen without, and Riku (& his Heart) was sinking within both literal (storm and tide) and metaphoric (falling into darkness/sinking within deep waters) waters when Sora receives Kingdom Key. When Sora arrives in Traverse Town, the Final Fantasy & Disney characters there hold Kingdom Key in reverence: the Key follows Sora so THEY follow him too.

There is an Irony about every keyblade-related argument Sora & Riku have in KH1: Kingdom Key WAS Riku's before it was Sora's, the authority of the sword & reverence given to its wielder WAS on "loan" from Riku... but, ultimately, the wielder chosen by the Physical Representation of Riku's Heart & the Light within it?

Yeah, no, sorry Riku: your Heart Likes Sora More.

After KH1, Riku never attempts to "reclaim" Kingdom Key: it's probably during the events between KH1 & KH2 that Riku realises that Kingdom Key is not only a literal manifestation of his own Heart but that he believes Sora to be the best person to wield that "Heart", that "Destiny".

Even if Riku had not somehow managed to manifest the Souleater/Way to the Dawn keyblade, needing to "borrow" Kingdom Key during his year-long vigil at Sora's bedside... I doubt he would have KEPT the sword or that it would let itself be "kept".

Riku's unique connections to both Light AND Darkness make it somewhat reasonable to conclude that 'Souleater' is the Dark counterpart to Kingdom Key: a keyblade formed by the Darkness of Riku's Heart, a keyblade that evolves to 'Way to the Dawn' and Riku's efforts to master his Darkness and return to the Light.

(this still begs the question: how the heck does Kingdom Key-D fit into all this?? no, i'm genuinely asking: what is up with that keyblade)

ALTERNATIVELY! Kingdom Key-D was very logically forged by Riku's Darkness, manifesting in the Realm of Darkness alongside the Fallen Destiny Islands. This makes it Interesting that Mickey could carry it around prior to personally meeting Riku but, regardless of any realizations on its nature & likely relationship with Riku (or Sora), Mickey wields this keyblade-D from KH1 onward.

(This potentially leaves Mickey's Original Keyblade, seen in BBS, as yet ANOTHER keyblade available for Riku's use: the count has risen to 9, 8 if excluding Key-D.)

So... if Riku's Darkness forged Kingdom Key-D, what was Souleater & what IS Braveheart?

Alt #1: Riku, like any Strange Pond Person, can summon as many Magic Swords as Destiny Requires because... he is Literally Kingdom Hearts & that leaves ALL hearts "free" for his use.

Alt #2: The keyblades Riku wields (Souleater, Way to the Dawn & Braveheart) are all manifestations of SORA'S Heart. Sora may be oblivious as to why he is so fixated on Riku but, if Chain of Memories is anything to go by, Sora's HEART knows what it wants, damnit! Even without any allegedly required Bequeathment Ceremony, Riku is a "Child of Destiny" and had already crowned Sora as one too: just as Riku's Heart reached out to Sora, Sora's Heart may have reached BACK for Riku. Thus both boys end up with Keyblades: each holding onto a piece of the other (somewhat literally).

This gives additional explanation to their easy trading & wielding of each other's Keyblades in KH2: the keyblades "belonged" to BOTH boys and always had.

This interpretation easily applies itself to Sleeping Realm Theory, too: 'Way to the Dawn' still "broke" because of Riku's Sacrifice but instead of figuratively representing Riku's Heart "breaking" via his actually Dying, it would represent physically the effect that Sacrifice had on Sora: his Heart broke, "dying" with Riku.

Alt #3: Riku's extra keyblades were from Maleficent, "Ansem", Ansem &/or King Mickey. The timeline allows for Maleficent's providing Riku with the 'Souleater' keyblade: it does not QUITE align for the broken connection between Riku & his Would-Be Fairy Godmother that we can assume happened upon her death in KH1, nor account for any effects caused by her subsequent "resurrection". The timelines required for the other candidates to be involved are not consistent with that of the games nor supplementary canon.

Before wrapping up, let's acknowledge the Giant Crowned Rainbow Sword in the room:

The [combined keyblade], wielded by Riku & Sora in DDD & KH3, is a manifestation of "their Hearts [beating] In Tune". It is That Simple: any efforts to straightwash its existence WILL cause plot holes so just Accept The Gayblade is Gay.

That the Gayblade just so coincidentally resembles both the Ultima keyblade(s) and various x-blades, definitely fit most description of what the x-blade is & how it can be made?

These are also Just Gay. Kingdom Hearts has been building up to (gay) Love being the Ultimate Power of the series from its very beginning: it has ALWAYS used heart imagery and symbolism, used Disney Couples to mirror the changing relationship of Sora & Riku, used "the connections between hearts" as a child's understanding of love (in all forms).

The logical evolution for a Coming of Age journey about a Boy & his Best Friend, in a series that repeatedly uses & is named for 'hearts', who have become stronger as their hearts became more attuned... is for said Boy to realise, acknowledge and recognise that the connection of their hearts has Changed into something less platonic: romantic love, like that between couples in Disney films, like Riku (& Selphie) brought up to Sora through star-shaped fruit before ever exploring those stars personally.

The [combined keyblade] was naturally forged through mutual devotion: its existence implies that the fabled x-blade of legend was ALSO forged by mutual love, that Kingdom Hearts chose its guardian because of Love, that the x-blade's legendary strengh came from its need to protect its dearly Beloved: there is no Straight Explanation for Sora & Riku being able to make the combined keyblade.

[kitsipher]

Dear anonymous person who sent me this, uh.... I broke it and now I can't respond to your ask :3

1. What is you middle name? : Layne

2. How old are you? : 14!!

3. When is your birthday? : February 16th

4. What is your zodiac sign? : Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? : Blue/green/purple

6. What’s your lucky number? : 4 ig?

7. Do you have any pets? : 3 dogs, 6 cats, 1 ferret, and fish:3

8. Where are you from? : AMERICAAA YAAAAA (Washington state)

9. How tall are you? : 5'5 -ish

10. What shoe size are you? : 9 1/2 - 10 (wide) ((very flat footed))

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? : erm at least 7

12. What was your last dream about? : Minecraft

13. What talents do you have? : uhm.. I can shape my tongue like an clover

14. Are you psychic in any way? : I can feel when the vibe is off trust

15. Favorite song? : Erm.. The Summoning-Sleep token

16. Favorite movie? : Monty Python: the holy grail

17. Who would be your ideal partner? : Idrc someone nice and artistic ig

18. Do you want children? : at least one

19. Do you want a church wedding? : not really

20. Are you religious? : Not really, I am spiritual tho-

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? : Plenty of times ✨️

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? : No✨️

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? : No but I met my town's mayor when I was younger

24. Baths or showers? : Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? : Mismatch!! (One pink and white and one grey and white)

26. Have you ever been famous? :I don't think so

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? : not really

28. What type of music do you like? : Indie rock, and rock (I'll listen to anything though-)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? : NOOO

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? : at most 3, usually 2

31. What position do you usually sleep in? : side

32. How big is your house? : 2 stories

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? : cereal maybe (usually I just snack on stuff)

34. Have you ever fired a gun? : Yes >:)

35. Have you ever tried archery? : Yes again- I feel like Merida when archery

36. Favorite clean word? : Fridge

37. Favorite swear word? : I don't curse

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? : a day and a half

39. Do you have any scars? : side of my foot, my shin, both my knees, my arms

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? : yes..

41. Are you a good liar? : I don't believe so

42. Are you a good judge of character? : most of the time

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? : Southern and Australian (the Australian one isn't very good)

44. Do you have a strong accent? : No clue, I say stuff weird tho

45. What is your favorite accent? : Southern

46. What is your personality type? : Up beat, outgoing, and creative ig

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? : a hoodie ✨️

48. Can you curl your tongue? : Yes, Clover shape

49. Are you an innie or an outie? : innie

50. Left or right handed? : Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? : I'm startled by spiders

52. Favorite food? : Stroganoff and lasagna

53. Favorite foreign food? : Stroganoff?

54. Are you a clean or messy person? : Clean

55. Most used phrased? : "Gosh narbit" "fight me" and "What the fridge"

56. Most used word? : "Fridge" or "Like"

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? : a little less than 10 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego? : a bit

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? : Bite

60. Do you talk to yourself? : yes

61. Do you sing to yourself? : yes

62. Are you a good singer? : I don't feel like it

63. Biggest Fear? : Being stared at

64. Are you a gossip? : no

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? : erm..?

66. Do you like long or short hair? : Shorter hair

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? : Nope

68. Favorite school subject? : I had to make my own village

69. Extrovert or Introvert? : extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? : nope

71. What makes you nervous? : heights

72. Are you scared of the dark? : A little (more of what I see in the dark)

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? : Yes

74. Are you ticklish? : You gotta tickle me in a certain way

75. Have you ever started a rumor? : nope

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? : yep

77. Have you ever drank underage? : .... no... ( a little bit not enough to get me drunk. a little taste)

78. Have you ever done drugs? : no

79. Who was your first real crush? : no

80. How many piercings do you have? : two on each ear

81. Can you roll your Rs?“ : nope

82. How fast can you type? : pretty fast

83. How fast can you run? : girl I'm asthmatic

84. What color is your hair? : Ginger

85. What color is your eyes? : hazel mostly green

86. What are you allergic to? : Penecilin, fake metal, adhesives

87. Do you keep a journal? : yes but I often forget it

88. What do your parents do? : .y mom is an artist and my dad is table games at the casino

89. Do you like your age? : yes

90. What makes you angry? : Idiots

91. Do you like your own name? : Yes

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? : Sam

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? : idc

94. What are you strengths? : I'm creative

95. What are your weaknesses? : Overthinking

96. How did you get your name? : Season

97. Were your ancestors royalty? : No? They were vikings and the president George Washington tho

98. Do you have any scars? : yes

99. Color of your bedspread? : blue

100. Color of your room? : also blue