#and they respect me being a boy and all but yknow i still feel kinda closeted

[lovely-whimsandhopes]

been a while since ive hung around the local queer community and ive missed this so much! its like i can properly breathe again lol

[itsjustaninchident]

I feel like an interesting prompt for Lando would be being with/meeting a girl he likes who isn’t an influencer or popular, just a regular girl who stays more private. (Me for example, a girl who lives in the middle of no where Texas, with a regular business office 9-5 job) lol

You Are in Love

Lando Norris x Interior Designer!Reader

socmed au

summary: seems like mclaren's driver is not available in the market anymore but the real question is, to whom?

warning/s: none

author's note: hello! I am so sorry for taking so long to respond to this request 😭 I didn't know how I would create this and I am still quite scared to take requests but here we are and I hope you enjoy it! A little warning I'm not very knowledgeable about America so I might have overlooked some things and I am sorry for that 😭 and also lmk~ I also chose interior designer as the career for the reader I hope you don't mind >< 🫶 Please request more!

Part 2

yourusername

Texas, USA

liked by yourbestfriend, yoursibling, and 129 others

yourusername another tiring week but at least i get to be a passenger princess hehe :)

view 10 comments...

yourbestfriend tell him to watch his back i CAN take you back 😏

yourusername dont worry bae im all yours 😉

yourfriend is this the london boy 🫢

yourusername well...

yourfriend when will we meet him��

yourusername he's a little shy😆

yoursibling mom says she miss him more than u

yourusername i guess i have been replaced in the family now

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell, carlossainz55, and 320,478 others

landonorris another normal but lovely week

view 1,093 comments...

user1 this is so out of character of him😭

user2 fr why is this kinda lowkey of him to do though👀

user3 am i thinking what you're thinking

user4 is he yknow the d word 😭

user7 okay pack it up people he can have a life that does not concern us at all

danielricciardo 🤠

user9 what's with the emoji

maxfewtrell when will u be back here

user5 oh OH

user6 since when are you interested in architecture 🧐

user6 trying to connect shit...

user7 no you're not go get a life

user8 baes take all your delusional asses elsewhere 😭

yourusername

liked by yoursibling, yourbestfriend, and 218 others

yourusername golf isn't as bad as i thought

view 2 comments...

yourbestfriend am i really about to lose you to some guy who drives in circles???

yourusername nah still urs babe 😆😘

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell, pierregasly, and 530,789 others

landonorris golf kinda day

view 305 comments...

maxfewtrell you got beaten up bad...

landonorris she was just lucky

maxfewtrell sure...

carlossainz55 i guess ill replace you as my golf buddy

user1 why are his pictures so boyfriend coded lately?

yourbestfriend that's really a nice pic i wonder who took it? 🫢

yourusername 🤐

user2 the comments from max and carlos😭 who's able to beat this man in golf😭 i need to pay my respect

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, yourbestfriend, and 137 others

yourusername fun week in canada :)

view 6 comments...

yourbestfriend I should've went with you!

yourusername definitely! 😭 It will be so much more fun with u around luv :'(

lilymhe hope to see you again !

yourusername looking forward as well! I miss u alr 🫶

lando.jpg

liked by danielricciardo, carlossainz55, and 834 others

lando.jpg canada you were fun 😏

view 1,456 comments...

user1 DID HE JUST HARD LAUNCH?!

user2 I AM NOT SO READY FOR THIS

user3 i genuinely think he has no idea what he posted....

user4 LANDO WHO'S THAT IN THE 3RD PHOTO

danielricciardo mate I think you're not supposed to post the 3rd photo...

carlossainz55 she will definitely kill him

maxverstappen1 im here for it

maxfewtrell so much for being lowkey

this post has been deleted

lando.jpg

liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo, and 234,598 others

lando.jpg canada you were fun 😏

view 5,405 comments...

user1 no way you're trying to gaslight us

user2 man really said nope not today

danielricciardo i saw nothing

carlossainz55 me too

maxverstappen1 me three

user3 twitter fans gonna have a field day with this 😭

to be continued...

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

A penny for your thoughts on the Dikinbaus episode? 👀👀👀

Omg okay so I definitely have to rewatch it like 10082927 times but just to go off of my late night 'delirious from excitement' watch, I am absolutely ECSTATIC at the way the episode treated Butters and gave him a well deserved win.

Butters has evolved a lot over the course of the show, he used to be a 100% naïve and innocent boy who was absolutely clueless about everything mature or terrible going on around him and it was always a very hopeful thing for me to watch him keep going and loving life despite how much the world tore him down on all ends. In a way, watching old seasons makes me miss the old Butters, but if Butters had just stayed the same for the next 20 seasons, he would hardly feel like a real/three dimensional person as he does now.

The changes and mood swings he's gone through, as well as the resilience he's started to build up were weird to watch at first (*COUGH* s20) but then they've started making more and more sense, especially taking into account the Post COVID special and the two wildly different paths his life could go.

That all being said, Dikinbaus was an absolutely satisfying cathartic episode as a Butters enthusiast, because he's just finally embracing things he's genuinely good at and demanding justice from someone who's arguably taken advantage of him the most in the entire show: Cartman.

It's kind of like Butters' version of Wendy's "Breast Cancer Show Ever" episode, where she's often been disrespected in a sexist way by him and no one (no teachers/adults) ever really did something, so she took matters into her own hands. Cartman is always screwing Butters over by letting him take the fall for his schemes, making Butters spend money on his behalf, and Butters has let him get away with it for so long, and so have Butters' parents (and everyone else but I especially blame the adults bc yknow).

This makes Dikinbaus kind of a kickstarter for Butters' "Fuck you, Eric!" moment at the end of Post COVID: The Return of COVID, which is nice to see because in the "Worldwide Privacy Tour" episode earlier in the season, Butters' behavior (after his parents sent him to rework his "brand") reminded me much more of Vic Chaos. It's nice to see these two versions of Butters' future reflect in present episodes, and I'm excited to see more of it in future episodes.

I've been rambling about Butters only but tbh I found the Kenman dynamic in this episode hilarious too. It makes me kind of mourn the respect Butters had for Kenny though, bc I'm sure that after this episode it must've significantly gone down, but honestly I was just happy to see Kenny have some fun even if it was at Butters' expense. Let him be a dumb immature kid fr

The only issue I had with the episode for now is the commentary on mental health days at work and the underlying "today's youth is sensitive and too lazy to work" message, which lacked nuance and just kinda felt like old people complaining. It would've been okay if they'd kept it only to Cartman, kinda like the "there's queer people, and then there's Mr Garrison" thing, but they brought Kenny & other kids into that narrative too so it made me feel a little eh about the commentary. But oh well

Sorry anon, you gave me a penny and I'm throwing a whole thesis on you but I still thank you a lot for asking and letting me ramble. Kisses to you :>>

[1autistictacticalrefrigerator]

Deity SoapGhost AU 🌬️ ( Heavily based on the tales from india my mother used to tell me 🫡 )

[ WARNING: Im not basing this off any gods, (like greek gods, roman gods, or anything) these deities are purely made by my autistic, imaginative brain so dont take them for real/serious! 😭 ]

[ 🫵 ALSO ANOTHER TW: Major Character Death (?), Suicide (please, give it a chance i promise 🥲) )

The Law.

A god can not walk in the world of man. In order for one to do so, the one must also take the form of man. The rules were set by the O’ Great One eons and eons ago, before even the first gods came to exist.

There was only one slight problem with this proposal, the god will not be able to return back to his or her place in the cosmos until his human life journey comes to a end. Without godly powers, or any memory of being one- they are left alone to face the impurities of man kind. Unless, someone can awaken them which is highly, HIGHLY, unlikely. It has only happened one other time. Since that was the case, many gods and goddesses tend to avoid any journeys down to earth unless it’s really necessary...

Yet.. two gods find themselves walking the face of this earth. And there would be no turning back until their human bodies perish.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Ghost was the God of Souls, War, and the Darkness Deep. He basically keeps track of all the dead people- to put it bluntly. Yknow.. eat the bad souls, let the good ones go to “heaven”. Souls were his source of food, and because of that, he was despised among the gods. But what could he do? He wont die from hunger of course, he was a god, but still.. the pain of hunger- nobody liked it.

That was actually the exact reason he was walking the earth, eating too many souls, reaped them too early, the others had said. This was his punishment. He had to suffer the weakness of man. And he hated it. He fucking hated it.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Soap.. (ridiculous name, but it was a nickname given by the other gods so he took it) was the God of Light, Fertility, and Healing. All the gods liked Soap in some way, he was ever so gentle, and made all minds at ease- so many gods were sad to see Soap go when Soap told them he had to travel the path of humankind.

He was on a mission though, to redeem a certain someone. He didn’t know who, but he knew he could count on Lady Fate, one of the highest goddesses. She promised she’d guide him to his person.

Lady Fate was kind to him. She places him in a small, sleepy little town in Scotland. With a pair of honest parents, who were blessed with a sweet, sweet, baby boy.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

PRESENT DAY.

WEEK 1:

Ghost was a feared soldier in the 141, always respected- so when some idiot put the most urghh.. SUNSHINY sergeant under his command, he almost explodes. Ghost seriously couldn’t physically look at the man, or else he’d get blinded by those rays of light emitting from the sergeant’s big goofy smile. He hated him. He hated Soap.

WEEK 2:

Soap was kinda endearing in his own way. Ghost started to feel funny, and by funny, it was just another word for, “How the fuck am I letting this guy talk to me.”

Honestly, Soap was annoyingly chattery.. Ghost thinks. (Is he?)

WEEK 3:

Nevermind. Soap’s constant talking actually kinda puts Ghost at ease. Ghost wants to hear Soap’s voice more. He’s comfortable with Soap giving him light touches, he likes Soap’s warmth. Wait- what the fuck?

WEEK 4:

Ghost is trying not to fold in any way. He wont. He cant-

WEEK 5:

Oh boy. He fucking folded.

…

That was it. Around a month and Ghost already was falling for Soap’s charm. It was like hunger- it couldn’t be helped. Every day it became harder to deny those feelings. He started feeling worried for Soap when Soap had to go on solo missions, he missed Soap when Soap was away for several days, he felt safe around Soap.

Ghost couldn’t fathom what kind of fucking hex Soap had casted over him, but Ghost’ll have to do something about it. Soon.

…

Ghost finally did something about his little situation when he saw one of the men on base hand Soap flowers. Of course, Soap accepted them with no clue what that did to Ghost. It made Ghost feel jealousy, the kind that felt worse than hunger, because the next day the man that offered the flowers were nowhere to be seen.

Soap had wormed his way into Ghost’s life, and now Ghost can’t fathom a way to live without Soap. It’s not fair, Ghost didn’t ask for anyone else- and quickly he learned that kind of mindset was called “love”. Something foreign and insignificant to him before.

Before all of this- before Soap.

However Ghost feared that feeling, that emotion that left him so vulnerable. So he hides it, even when Soap finally confesses he loved Ghost- Ghost stayed silent. It wasn’t he didn’t want to be loved by Soap.. its his own body, his own body telling him he won’t be able to control that hunger for more- Ghost has no clue why. There was one option he was down for though; waiting. Waiting until he was ready, that was the only option left for him, so he’d take it.

…

He took it too late. He took it too late. Soap was a lucky man, having many close calls on the field but always eventually returning somewhat unscathed. So when Soap actually crawls to Ghost with his own guts in his hands, it terrified Ghost. Ghost hadn’t felt what true fear was until that moment. A bloodied and battered up Soap, slowly making his way to Ghost, his eyes a silent plead for Ghost to help in any possible way to make everything stop hurting.

When Ghost saw Soap he had let out a blood curdling scream.

He found himself immediately beside Soap, begging Soap not to die. Because life was so unfair to him- the gods were so mean. Ghost tries to stop fate, that Soap was destined to die. He told Soap he loved him too. That he was sorry, sorry for every hurtful word he’s ever said to Soap because of his own selfishness. Sorry for thinking Soap was annoying or loud. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

But you know how fate is, you’ll never get your way. Soap tried to stay awake for Ghost, he really did but his eyes had never felt so heavy before. Most concerningly though, he heard a voice. A voice congratulating him- a voice telling him it’s done. It’s time to come home again.

Home.

Home?

Home.. hm. Home.. a home in the cosmos. As a deity.. of.. Light, Fertility, and Healing? He had friends back there- he was pretty sure.. no, he was sure.

Memories flood in. His mission was finished, his life as a human on earth has come to a end. He’d broken down the pride and stubbornness Ghost had within himself. But he’d broken Ghost’s heart too.

Finally Soap shuts his eyes as Ghost screams for Soap to hang in there, he knows he’s going home again. He wished so badly he could bring Ghost with him. But he knows its not possible.

…

Ghost holds Soap’s lifeless body in his hands. The warmth he was so used to was gone. The very reason to indulge this cruel world was gone too. And for the first time Ghost had cried, not because he was sad something he valued was gone, like a child’s toy broken. But because he’d never felt so useless before, so guilty before, he’d never felt so much self-loathing before.

He was ready to die right here, right in the rain plastered mud with Soap. He was so, so, ready. He didn’t care if he would go to hell, fuck just anywhere but here. Anywhere.. anywhere.

He wanted to go home.

Home? What. This isn’t right.

He hears the voice of someone scolding him like he was a child who’d done something wrong, but that voice was gentle.. familiar.. something was happening. Something was happening to his body- his mind- his-

For a moment he wasn’t afraid of death. Because death sounded familiar, like a old friend. Were the voices telling him to let go of this body? To “die”? Well there was only one way to find out.

Either he was just absolutely mental, or he was really not just hearing things- he places the handgun to his head. No need to be scared now. He’d be alright. It was a feeling. That feeling was telling himself to set himself free from the shackles of the human body. To become something more than just walking flesh. To be a god again.

Ghost pulls the trigger, and all goes black.

…

There was no pain or afterlife. Ghost wakes up on the floor feeling different, and with those same worried eyes staring at him. Huh? Same eyes.

“Soap?” Ghost blurts out.

The figure smiles, “Welcome home Ghost, thought you’d come for a visit.”

“The fuck-? I live here, what in the blazes do you-“ Oh.

Soap looks different as a god, but radiates the same soothing aura as he did on earth. Well that was comforting… and awkward, considering how dramatically Ghost announces his love for mortal Soap.

Soap must’ve felt the same way because he just makes a strange face at Ghost. Nothing ill-intended though. “So..” Soap was first to break the silence, “Are we like.. a thing now..? Or..”

“Hm.” Ghost hums, giving some thought into it.

“I don’t wanna be forcing anything on you!” Soap quickly adds, hands waving, trying to backpedal, “Just.. I think I still like you..” Soap mumbles.

“What if I thought the same?” Ghost tries, brushing himself off as he stands up. “Would you give someone like me a chance?” He scoffs. No way someone like him would be worthy with probably one of the most friendly gods in the cosmos.

“Then I say we’re together.” Soap declares happily as he takes a step closer, “Back on earth I didn’t even get to kiss you.” Soap complains as he lets out a huff of annoyance, “I waited YEARS, I think I deserve one now.”

“I.. don’t know.. Im not really a-“ Ghost starts before Soap pulls him in for a kiss.

“You wait too much.” Soap says after the kiss. Grinning dopily, the exact same smile that captivated Ghost.

“I know I do. You’ll just have to wait for me, yeah?”

“Yeah, you know I will. For centuries and centuries.” Soap says as he peppers Ghost with kisses again.

And Ghost takes it, he takes the love Soap offers to him because he deserved it. After going through all that fuckery- he thought. He deserved it, it was the one thing he deserved.

And he did deserve it.

END. ❤️

(Haahah dont mind me and my silly brain. I dont know if I like this one or hated it, but hopefully you enjoyed it. Feel like I rushed it bc I was feeling so eepy. Too tired to edit so ignore the typos or mistakes ok ok gn yall 🥱)

[macaroni-and-antifreeze]

sorry gang i'm on a writing roll so here is

Ash's Thoughts About Every Winner + A Bonus

Wife, this is your warning. Do not look under the cut. You will be spoiled for literally the entire series.

Also I do briefly mention self-harm towards the end so if that is a trigger for you, I would recommend either scrolling or not reading the massive paragraph at the end.

Dr. Will (BB2) - There's a reason he's an iconic winner. He's a bit of an asshole but he's a lovable asshole, much like my dad.

Lisa (BB3) - Now, do I think a bitter jury contributed to this win? Yes. Is this win still deserved? Yes. She was a strong player in her own right and I'm still happy she won.

Jun (BB4) - One of my favorite winners. Basically invented the floater strategy that other houseguests try and fail to replicate to this day.

Drew (BB5) - Honestly, I have not dived very far into this mid-stage of the old seasons but I guess he's okay.

Maggie (BB6) - Not a big fan of her, tbh.

Mike Boogie (BB7) - There's a lot of shit that happened outside of the game that sours my opinion of him.

Evil Dick (BB8) - Ok, listen. He's a character I can say that much. But, there was a lot of production protection around his win. I don't think he would've gotten as far without America's Player.

Adam (BB9) - I haven't watched BB9, and I probably won't.

Dan (BB10) - What can I say about Dan that hasn't already been said? He is a BB legend and probably the best winner.

Jordan (BB11) - Yeahhhh, no.

Hayden (BB12) - I have conflicting thoughts about Hayden. Is he kinda responsible for Derrick? Yes. Is he entertaining to watch? Yes.

Rachel (BB13) - Ok I gotta admit, I'm not the biggest fan of her in 13, love her in 12 though.

Ian (BB14) - Ian is my favorite, if you have anything negative to say about him fuckin leave.

Andy (BB15) - I refuse to watch BB15.

Derrick (BB16) - See my future "Derrick Levasseur Ruined Big Brother & I Don't Respect Him As A Person" longpost.

Steve (BB17) - I am extremely biased towards Steve. BB17 was the first season I watched and the first to make me fall in love with Big Brother. If you asked my dad, he would say Vanessa was robbed. And I kind of agree, but also don't. We didn't have good enough internet for the feeds at the time so there's a lot of shit we missed.

Nicole (BB18) - I hate Nicole Franzel. I am tired of seeing and hearing her and I do not care if she lives or dies.

Josh (BB19) - 19 was a garbage dump as a season which makes it only fair to get a garbage dump of a winner. Only Kevin winning would satisfy me because he was the only bright spot in this hellhole of a season.

Kaycee (BB20) - Honestly, I don't give a rat's ass about this season. I was on Discord most of the summer so I didn't get to connect with a lot of the players.

Jackson (BB21) - Why do we award racists? I only watched the first half of the season because I was so angry.

Cody (BB22) - The only good thing he did was evict Nicole. This season made me stop watching until midway through BB24 because all of the Pre-Derrick players were evicted for trying to, yknow, play the fucking game how it was meant to be played. So tired of white boys.

Xander (BB23) - I have not gone back & watched BB23 in its entirety due to certain events in my life happening at that time because I fear it may trigger me and ruin my excitement for Big Brother.

Taylor (BB24) - It's what she deserves. She is 2 in my top 3 favorite winners, those being Ian, Taylor, and Lisa.

Jag (BB25) - I don't think you should win if you were evicted, but that's my opinion.

And finally, our bonus player:

Paul (BB18 & 19) - I have incredibly mixed feelings on Paul. When they played in 18, I thought they were the greatest person on Earth. They were cool and funny and had awesome style. And to an autistic middle schooler who couldn't keep up with the changing tides of the social hierarchy, they meant a lot to me because we were already very similar. So I mirrored them. I mirrored them HARD. They were everything I wanted to be as a person. Instead of being the kid who got bullied all the time, I could be cool. To this day, Paul is a really special houseguest to me because they provided an escape from the newly developing self-hatred and urge to harm myself. I'm older and healthier now, so I don't value my worth against people but they were a bright spot in a dark time in my life.

Then BB19 came along. And I felt betrayed.

Why was the person I looked up to suddenly acting like the very thing I was escaping from? It genuinely hurt a lot. And because of those feelings that still linger today, I still feel like that 12 year old "girl" who didn't know what was wrong with them whenever I see clips of Paul on BB19.

Thank you for your time. See yall on Thursday.

[weirdcat1213]

trigun bookclub time :D volume 2 thoughts

chap 00.1

-vash's method of meditation is the only one that's valid in my eyes/j

-3 seconds of meditating vs 3 hours of training...huh...i wonder...why is that...and what...that says about him...

-hes bad at chess hes like me fr fr

-yey we love a day without casualties :D

chap 00.2

-the bit about us taking shelter on technology but still not knowing what the future holds...yeah that feels timeless now huh

-vash don't go there! oh no he has earbuds he cant hear me (that would literally happen to me tho)

-i love that panel where no one says anything after the girl is like "yeah i can give you pocket money." nice representation of the irritation people feel towards that kind of people. they arent mad just really tired of that bs

-oh man thats actually pretty horrible (page 23)

-"and i think of nothing but love and peace" besides that we know your head is empty but we love you so its ok

-yeah vash show her the real world

-interesting that he makes her see the chance of her dad dying (he didnt know what was gonna happen) which makes sense cuz she cant run from the truth anymore but its also interesting cuz if we was able to not see it he would. he hates seeing people dying and yet he watches and makes others watch. i dont think its about "if i have to, you have to as well" but more about her seeing the consequences of violence (what her father did) and the cycle of hate so she doesnt repeat it. idk.

chap 1

-rem coming out of his coat....hm....

-weird man coming

-YEAH SEND HIM TO HELL >:D

-if rem is holding him back you say...hmmm...i will go back to that later

-well thats creepy

chap 2

-my boi is in jail nooooooooooooo

-you can feel the size of the ship with one panel nightow is ridiculously talented when creating big spaces, like the sandsteamer shot in the last volume

-..... :c

-my babygirl :c

-i like he started the flashback angry as hell and then it turned into sadness cuz even if he makes knives pay nothing will bring rem back

-also the literal ship crashing into his memories what if I [redacted]

-SEE LOOK AT THAT SHIT! SPACE FEELS MASSIVE AND ITS LITERALLY JUST THE PLANET AND THE SHIP

-aaaand hes angry as hell again cuz the memory finished with knives. interesting

-dont look at me with those kind eyes, we saw you

-YEY ITS DIABLO TIME :D go get em

chap 3

-aw cmon :c

-and there goes the arm

-hey >:[ dont call my girl milly an idiot

-ugh you can feel how fucking stressed out he is ahhhhhhhhh

-ah yes, we love seeing how right knives is...

-huh, i wonder if knives is smiling cuz before he was like "nah she was stupid like the rest" but since she got to correct the ships's trajectory he got a bit of respect for her in the end

-is monev vs vash supposed to be like david and goliath? hm

-my god thats fucking beautiful

-also i dont think thats a ghost but maybe like her presence? like vash is remembering her and her kindness

-AH I HATE THAT I HATE THAT. THE CHAPTER IS CALLED FRAGILE, ENDS UP WITH VASH CRYING AND THE "rem" IS SO LITTLE THAT IS ONLY MEANT FOR US AND VASH TO BE AWARE OF IT WHAT IF I CRIED A RIVER AHHHHHH

chap 4

-oh meryl...oh honey...sweetie...

-the scars appear :D yey :D

-meryl is kinda asking him "arent you tired of being nice dont you want to go apeshit" but not really and i like that

-yknow what meryl is right pls go away and live a quiet life pls, ik whats coming but just thinking about it....

-yee ik the reason why but still >:v

-oh....oh i actually forgot about that...oh

-"rem didnt sacrifice her life for a world like that" im tearing up actually and idk why...its been a hard week

-lmao hes so mad at vash

-yeah hunt him down babygirl >:D

chap 5

-....metal >:D

-they deserved it btw

-huh thats actually kinda nice of him i forgot

-ofc he would blame vash for that, then again vash makes all of us at least a little bit soft i think

chap 6

-i love you vash that takes his sweet time to process traumatic situations, yes that was scary

-vash saying "im the deathwish" means a lot to me as an mcr fan lmao. i will think more about that later tho

-HES HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-YES YOU ARE A PRIEST OMG WHY AM I THIS EXCITED

-THEY MEET, OMG THEY ARE MEETING! AMAZING!

-STOP BLUSHING BRO LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING HIS CHIN LIKE THAT YO

-"go home or go to hell" oh im getting that on a tattoo one day actually, so metal

-...cmon, me me big boi

-THAT SMILE, THAT DAMN SMILE im gonna jump off my local cliff

-vash in the beginning saying he can read people and then wolfwood comes and READS HIM LIKE ITS NOTHING

chap 7

-"is that a friend of yours" he looks so offended lmao

-ahhhh that must be so scary, he already has knives to worry about but the fact not everyone can see legato makes his job harder ahhhhh

-bye baby ily (hes my son that i only share with a couple of other ww enjoyers)

-CAN YOU STOP BEING GAY FOR 2 MINUTES

-OH THAT PANEL IS SO GOOD (also even more princess coded, like looking at really from a castle idk)

-GUYS GUYS MY WIFE IS HERE

-i keep forgetting hes missing his little arm :c

-lmao wolfwood is right, i wouldnt go to a church all the way there :b

-yeah and shes hot while teleporting all over the place

-ok but shes really fucking cool, despite wanting to kill my comfort character, yknow how these things go

-OHOHOHOO THAT PANEL WITH VASH FOCUSING IS AMAZING

-YESSSSS, SO METALLLLL

chap 8

-aaaand...there goes my wife

-ahhhhhh he looks so little :c

-OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HES COMING, HES NEAR

-idk ww :c idk when will it end

-OH WOW OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

-yeah right i dont like this part :b (its not bad just personal stuff)

-ok he do be looking pretty tho, i wonder if its a family thing

-YEAH MERYL SMACK THAT MF

-im a ball of rugged paper and my feelings are nothing...thanks nightow ily

-oh wait...he actually thought that was the end...thats so fucking smart nightow...wow i never considered that....

-aw babygirl :c but i cant even imagine how that must feel, how much hate he feels towards knives rn

-i think besides the "he called me by my name" meryl and milly let him go cuz they just felt he was going to matter what, like you can feel vash and his unstoppable energy on those pages

-oh hes so fucking pretty

-WAIT I NEVER NOTICED THAT BUT YEAH THAT WAS ON STAMPEDE EP 3 HOLY FUCK, THEY SAID THE SAME THING

-knives just fucking reads vash like an open book its incredible and it makes me so sad cuz vash cant escape, he cant hide nothing, not in front of knives

-he cant be knives without the good old gaslighting >:D

-the yelling throughout the page is amazing

-vash is crying noooooooooooooooo :c

-NO. STAY AWAY FROM ME, EVIL PANEL THAT HAUNTS MY DREAMS

-also :c

-im not too sure of what happened with his legs but ok sure

-im afraid my babygirl cant give you an answer ww, i dont think he knows

-.....why is the world so mean to him :c

[cerealmonster15]

hmmm 63% & 82% maybe??? :3c

HI let’s do Char and Dañarte again ndjfjfngjgkg

63%. Has your character ever experienced deja vu? Do you happen to know why?

HMMMMMM. yknow what. I think Char gets it every so often whenever a Minor Yet Specific inconvenience happens to him, like a sock going missing in the laundry. But like. Keeps happening right after Dañarte was over🤔 small little things that are definitely Dañarte messing with him in Annoying Yet Not Criminal Or Provable Ways, and I think Char has about a 50/50 rate of being like “ok this was Dañarte but I will politely pretend not to notice” or “hmmmmm wow this sure is a strange occurrence!!!! I’m sure it’s all coincidences!!!! Anyway🚶”

I think I lost track of the question bfjfvjjfjhgn maybe I don’t k Ow what deja vu is LOL but since dañarte probably has stupid shit he pulls multiple times it probably confuses Char in a deja vu type way?? Does that make sense. WELL It does inside my mind 😌

82%. What was your character like as a baby? As a child?

^ the previous answer reveals to me that I guess Dañarte kinda likes pranks??? Except to him they are Evil Schemes. Maybe he got better at being actually kinda sinister mean boy as they got older (re: the cater situation™️) buuuut sure we’ll say as a baby toddler he was kinda rowdier and liked to “play fight” Char but was always scolded for being too rough, and then as a kid he shifted to more pranks, and now he’s just kind of a cunning little snake of a guy.

Char on the other hand, I think as a lil babby he cried a lot lol. Like just a big emotions kind of boy. Would get overwhelmed and cry even at like happy things bc he’s just a little guy and he has nowhere to put all tne feelings!! And also his cousin picks on him and is too intense!!! Then maybe as a kid he started to mellow out and learn to handle his emotions better, but still has a lotta feelings. But he’s gotta be a Respectable Young Prince Or Whatever so he’s gotta be a good boy!!!

[x]

[yaeception]

‼️TOKYO REVENGERS CHAPTER 251 SPOILERS‼️

( i still cant cut the post im sorry )

haha hey guys im back on my ranting

im feeling emotional after the new chapter so im gonna talk about it a bit

lets start with koko and inupi bc theyre the main guys here obviously (just give them a whole spin off at this point)

as i have said before, i feel so so bad for seishu

i can't even imagine how bad it has to feel to fight people you admire and treat with so much respect :(( yet i still love the fact that nothing held him back, he punched both benkei and wakasa even though we all know he would probably try to avoid it as much as he can

(also can we talk about him slapping benkei because like,,, just another proof of inupi being the strongest after taiju in the 10th gen bd)

at first i was really mad at koko ngl yknow he was just standing there doing nothing

but honestly, having to choose between saving himself and betraying kanto manji in order to save inui isnt an easy thing

that "i've always chosen akane-san over inupi" kinda broke me too. what is he even trying to do, i don't know man that's crazy

this broke me even more like

it hurts so much because now that draken has also died inui really has no one besides koko

like sure hes friends with mitchy but its not the same since takemichi is kinda busy with his mikey apologist era of wtv

plus omg koko looks so shocked here?? i love him but my guy my dude why are you so surprised??? its not like seishu has been chasing you for the whole fight just to talk to you smh smh

aaaand

THIS MADE ME HAPPY

cringe angst misunderstood duo is back tgt yall time to celebrate

together they can solo the world and im never changing my mind

im so happy theyre finally on kinda good terms again, tears strolling down my face

(pls wakui give them a spin off here me out its a great idea because—)

but lets get to the other things that happened this chapter

HANMA IS BACK LIKE ACTUALLY BACK

man i wonder what crazy shit hes gonna do this time

he approached mitsuya and the rest of the boys so idk things can get interesting

if he kills anyone ill be on the news tho ://

lastly

the most unexpected thing

PAHCHIN IS BACK !!!!

and hes soloing mikey so true

man i missed him im glad hes back in the final arc, i know the chances are low but i hope he somehow beats manjiros ass because hes so annoying lately omfg

yeah so to sum it up

koko and inupi are friends again ??? :D

hanma came back to be the cringe lord

the king came back from basement

i hope we get sanzu's explanation in the next chapter

and man i hope that we can see kazutora like at least one in that arc too

bye and until next time 🙏

[wooahaes]

u know what i love more than dad!seventeen? single father!seventeen just trying their best to be the best dad and mom for their kids 🫣🥹🫠

this isnt what you intended but know my brain went “damn… anon just killed reader??? rip 😔” lmao

BUT ANYWAY god yeah single dad!svt is SUCH a good thought 😚 single dad cheol gets me right in the heart bc he’d be such a nurturing dad imo who still is firm enough to set boundaries w his kiddo (while respecting theirs too!!! good dads only here). literally the idea of cheol w a lil girl who puts bows in his hair bc boys deserve to be pretty TOO 😤 and cheol just kinda being like yeah they do sweetie thank u 🥰 in response?? im sobbing

or single dad jihoon 😳 he has one of those chest carriers n everything. yknow how you arent supposed to use baby voice w babies (something abt how it affects their development)? jihoon has serious conversations w this kid and i feel like its funny to other ppl to watch him try to negotiate with a literal baby in a completely serious voice like kiddo i know you wanted to wear the red shirt today, but you did spill juice on it two seconds ago. you gotta work with him a little there. but i think its very very clear just how much he respects his kid. like hes absolutely not going to force his kid to hug anyone, he doesnt care who they are—if his kid says no then thats it, and they BETTER not try it anyway bc this man works out and will not hesitate to destroy a bitch if it comes down to it. literally he is either the softest dad or he is ready to destroy someone if they mess w his kid.

also playful dad gyu. thank u. he (like cheol) can definitely be kinda firm imo but mingyu meltsva thousand times easier than other ppl might. not on big things, but he will give in occasionally if his kid is genuinely sorry for whatever they did wrong. probs has real convos w his kiddo if he can to try and teach them right and wrong and is very patient in doing so. also he packs his kids lunch every morning and walks them up to school while holding their lil hand and waves goodbye as they go to meet their teacher 🥺 its all v soft. TRULY a dilf but single dad svt is filled w dilfs—

ill elaborate on this more later perhaps but know that i am thinking SO much about this

[akabane-yum]

OTP Asks - All Of Them (9-16) <- Part One

For @toorumochi assass :P

For the Angst

9. Have they made each other cry?

Short answer: Yes

Long answer:

Karma knew that Gakushuu would be a difficult person to live with and that he was sensitive despite his hard exterior, but that didn’t mean he didn’t get annoyed too sometimes.

That night they were arguing about who knows what, saying things they didn’t mean, when the insults became half truths and eventually full truths that became insults. Karma said something along the lines of ��Oh, and it’s not my fault your dad didn’t raise you right but it your fault that you’re becoming exactly like him, don’t ask me why I’ll need therapy more than twice a week after this.”

If it hadn’t already clicked to Gakushuu that they were fighting fighting before then, now he got the message. He ran out of the room without another word and Karma had to pace to cool down. Karma decided to sleep on the couch that night and only realized Shuu went off crying the next morning, when the air was cold and rigid and Shuu had tear stains under his eyes. Karma didn’t say anything though, he didn’t really know how to fix it. They ended up spending that whole day apart and eventually had a long talk.

———————

Gakushuu made Karma cry when he told him they’d probably end up breaking up. Karma was joking about meeting Shuu’s mom and Shuu just laughed saying he didn’t think they’d make it that far. That messed with Karma’s perception of permanence and what he thought they were. He thought they were gonna get married some day and that they were going to live together and... what? He tried to ask Gakushuu why he thought they wouldn’t make it and Shuu seemed unbothered. He said something about how they were incompatible in many ways and how they were both handfuls and how life would get harder and how Karma probably wouldn’t be able to handle all the weird changes in Gakushuu’s life because of how the businesses was booming. They said goodnight after that and Karma found himself outside at 3am taking a walk. He didn’t realize he was crying till he came home and Shuu asked him why he was crying. His first instinct was to say he was doing drugs but that would get them nowhere. Instead he said he didn’t want to talk about it, and they went to bed. He could think about permanence another day. And he did, they talked about both that and their insecurities going forward to try to salvage their relationship. (I can imagine that this is a few years into their relationship.)

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them.

In another post !

11. What causes them to fight?

The lighthearted answer would be: anything and everything. They fight over how many pillows they need but always laugh about it in the end.

Another answer would be: the fact that at the beginning of their relationship they were insecure about themselves. You know you really shouldn’t get into a relationship until you love yourself enough, at least in most cases. But for them I’m guessing that the mutual attraction was enough for them to get together, which isn’t always bad b u t for them they had a lot to unpack. It’s surprising and maybe even kinda toxic that they stayed together after the first part of their relationship but now they’re happy. I can imagine that they’re happier as adults at least, and that they still do fight over small things like the TV volume but those fights don’t even count as fights. It’s just a little conversation to keep them going yknow?

12. Do they have differing political opinions?

Kinda? Gakushuu is a businessman and probably took a course called “creating capitalism” so we can assume he’s pro capitalism, and on the other hand Karma joined the bureaucracy in Japan (and Japan is, if I’m not mistaken, a socialist country) so he’s probably at least pro socialism.

I just want to comment on how this is cool because Gakushuu being pro capitalism is a solo player as the CEO with the most shares of his corporation. Whereas Karma who we assume is pro socialism works as a bureaucrat for the government. Which is cool because capitalism is more about individuals climbing the corporate ladder and whatnot whereas socialism is more of a government intervention thing where the government has control and places limitations. (There’s way more to it but I tried to badly summarize.) So they’re both doing very well in their respective economies. That being said, we could go into the capitalist tendencies in Japan but we won’t! AHEM THE MAIN QUESTION WAS ABOUT POLITICS BUT I WARPED IT SORRY THEYRE PROBABLY BOTH MORE LIBERAL BUT I WONT GO INTO THAT.

Anyways to finish off explaining the “kinda” I answered with, I said kinda because I don’t think they feel strongly enough about their own (preferred) economies to argue about it. Though maybe Karma will complain about some of the disparity in wealth he sees between Gakushuu and others but honestly I don’t see them caring much, since they have the luxury of living in their own bubble of karushuu happy fun. I hope this blurb made sense.

13. Name something they would never do for the other person

Gakushuu would never give up his ambitions to be with Karma. Sounds sad but after letting go of some of those insecurities that were there at first, he’s found his self worth and won’t give up all his hard work for anyone. Is that selfish? Personally I don’t think so, because it would be selfish for someone to ask him to let go of his dreams for them. Karma would never do that anyway, so. By give up his ambitions for Karma I mean like if Karma were to ask Gakushuu to drop his work or him, he’d be dropping Karma.

Karma would never settle down entirely because Gakushuu asked him to. This is similar to the first one but I don’t think he wants to calm down and live in another tropical country and retire young just because they have enough money you know? Not like Gakushuu would ever ask him to slow down but if he did then Karma would still probably work a few jobs because of how boring life would be without something to do. This is basically like Gakushuu’s but I feel like Karma’s is less intense and he wouldn’t break up with Gakushuu right away because of this.

Take that as you will ^^

14. What would be a dealbreaker

This is the same as the last one I think. Telling the other to slow down and pick between their passions (for work lmao) or them. Since it’s the same ish for both of them I don’t think there would be that much of an issue though. Maybe if Karma killed Shuu’s cat then that would be a dealbreaker, who knows.

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

Karma dislikes how Gakushuu is a workaholic and Gakushuu hates how Karma is taller than him :P also how quick he is at making impulsive decisions. HmMm maybe also how Karma snores- that’s not even a trait i- anywayyyyssss

16. If they broke up, what would be their opinions of each other.

Oh boy. I’ve thought about this for not karushuu things too so here’s my take on this:

Karma would consider Gakushuu as an addition to the toxic people in his life. First his parents, then some of his teachers, and now his first boyfriend. He’d remember the happy moments they had together but quickly try to replace them with the sadder memories. He’d try his best to paint Gakushuu is the worst lighting, he’d villainize (not a word but shh) him so he could go on thinking he didn’t do anything wrong and it was Gakuhsuu’s toxicness that tore them apart.

Gakushuu wouldn’t think of Karma. Not after a bit of time, not because Karma never came to mind again after the breakup, but because any thoughts of Karma would be illegal. Honestly I can see him thinking that his time with Karma was an era of weakness. He can’t go back to that weak state, not even in his memories, so he doesn’t. (Well maybe in the middle of the night some days he does but he’d never admit to that.) I hope my grammar here was bearable lmao.

I’m sorry I’m tired lmao I can’t proofread but yk :))) next part up soon!

[memryse]

hello tumblr i present my canon-compliant "DSMP But... Everybody Discovered Large-Scale Organised Religion" mianite au which took a few hours to write up oops. basically here is a list of which god everybody would follow and why, based on canon events (i have therefore left out a couple of the members who don't really do lore or be on the server much because i definitely don't know about them enough to be accurate!)

dream: mianite. obsessed with control, you get it. went too far though and developed his own obsession with controlling the server so he is now godless and in jail

tommy: dianite. tommy is a favourite of dianite's - he's idealistic with a penchant for chaos, and like i said in my other post dianite probably sees himself in tommy a little. they're both misunderstood as Bad People

tubbo: ianite -> dianite, he converts post-doomsday. grew up as a follower of ianite and trying to follow her path put added pressure on him during his presidency. embraces being a dianitee with the start of the nuke program, but he keeps all his ianitee family heirlooms. ianite still holds a soft spot for him because of his family and occasionally gives him minor blessings. that being said she's of course a little disappointed he chose to change gods, but respects his decision

ranboo: no god, but enderwalk ranboo is an acolyte of ianite; awakeboo eventually converts to ianite when he reads awakeboo's note and decides to become more active in conflict resolution. he realises ianite actually aligns with his newfound ideals, and is of course more in touch with his ender side. however prior to this he wasn't really very keen on worshipping any gods, seeing as all he saw from them was wars waged in their names.

wilbur: also an atheist. probably prayed to dianite during pogtopia ("dream, i want to be your vassal" type beat) but other than that he's the type to criticise organised religion and be an independent leader, no need for gods. wilbur and ranboo narrative foils my beloveds!!!

techno: ianite. the thing about c!techno is he has one goal and he will stick to that no matter what - it's not total order, but it's not chaos either because there is motivation and reasoning behind it. also, a core tenet of ianitee ideology is not involving yourself in conflict until somebody personally wrongs you. much like butcher army era techno where he retreats to a peaceful (more godly, in this case) life until he's hunted down, at which point he Fucks Shit Up. in general techno holds grudges and takes even slight betrayals very seriously.

phil: ianite. i can see antarctic duo as former warriors of ianite! idk i don't have much to say phil is just.. a chill old warrior. probably jaded and tired of fighting wars for his goddess, but he still prays to her. specifically he prayed every night that wilbur could finally find balance in the afterlife. :)

niki: also ianite. definitely. niki values her own beliefs and morals, she's her own independent self. maybe she was a mianitee pre-nov 16th, but not since then. this makes the syndicate pretty much just a secret squad of ianitees (+ ranboo who everyone kind of just assumes is an ianitee given that, yknow, enderman). this is extra fun with the syndicate table being an end portal

sam: mianite 10000000%. he puts his commitment to duty above all else. not really much more to say he is just fully committed to keeping the server safe by carrying out mianite's will and imprisoning dream.

foolish: he's a god himself, so he doesn't follow any of the main three. however in the past he did work with mianite, enforcing his control over the land. from what we know about his totem of death period it wasn't like.. wanton destruction, it was him seeking control through violence, so i'm not inclined to say he worked with dianite back then.

george: man just wants to sleep and farm wheat, he's mianite. ez.

sapnap: also mianite. dream team as mianite's strongest and most revered knights!!!!!!

puffy: she's a pirate lady i don't know what to tell you other than she was part of capsize's crew. ianitee pirate ladies i care you. plus i feel like puffy centres mostly on people and not allying herself with specific nations or causes, she believes in balance above all.

eret: i view the greater dsmp as a mianitee nation, so as king of it they obviously have to follow mianite. eret has always strove to be a good king and help their nation prosper. plus, who knows what went on in the past with foolish. former mianite warriors eternal duo? i think so! (i think it would be cool if a literal reincarnation of herobrine was a mianitee purely because it fucks with everybody's expectations)

quackity: dianite. not just because he's chaos incarnate at times but like his entire current arc is so reminiscent of the fact that s2 dianite was literally a businessman. rip ghost dianite you would've loved c!quackity

fundy: oh boy here's a complex one. fundy switches gods frequently - look how much he craves acceptance from authority figures, from a substitute parental figure. i think right now his prophetic dreams could be interpreted as him being chosen by a certain god who sees potential in him, but i can't say who bc we don't really know too much about them or even why he's suddenly having them. that being said his chaotic scamming foxboy side definitely embodies dianite and he should have stuck with dianite the entire time but nah he needs Validation

jack manifold: follows dianite, but dianite isn't really pleased with him trying to kill tommy so often (seeing as he likes tommy). this is why he has such comically bad luck. his god is continually fucking with him.

karl: ianite, specifically chosen by her to become the historian of the server. the purple theme.. the duty to write down history as it truly happened (as opposed to censoring history like a certain mianite did). the existence of both the in between and the other side. karl Is balance. thank you. (also this makes karlnapity's marriage one mianitee, one ianitee and one dianitee. diversity win!)

schlatt: mianite (derogatory)

the eggpire is pretty much just the darkness isn't it. mianite was the blueprint actually.

bbh: dianite at first, judging by the badlands' ideology. corrupted by the darkness though.

antfrost: also dianite, but probably really lowkey about it and only ever prayed when the badlands needed his blessings. again, corrupted now

hannah: mianite - her connection to nature is by extension also a connection to mianite, the god of the overworld. plus she cared about maintaining harmony on the server and went to lengths to ensure it like the whole "killing her own dogs to protect them" thing. currently on her corrupted girlboss arc though

punz: dianite, he likes money and killing people idk what more you expect from me. even after joining the eggpire this has not changed at all. he'll work for other gods' followers for the right price but he's not changing his core beliefs

ponk: i don't know very much about him i'm ngl, especially not pre-eggpire. prior to his corruption though i do kinda like the idea of a mianitee doctor doing fucked up little experiments idk he just has mianitee vibes to me in the same way tucker was a mianitee.

skeppy: he and bbh are obviously both dianite together prior to the egg. it simply would not be right of me to put him anywhere else.

purpled: ianite. the colour purple... the tendency to stay so far out of conflict that he doesn't even log onto the server... mans was born to be an ianitee actually

[nanamis-bigtie]

Long selfship talk under the cut, Ahoy! You guys shared so many beautiful stories and dynamics with me! Unfortunately, tumblr didn't let me @ some of you, I hope you will somehow find this post 😭

@sparkly-ginger said:

Oooh boi, oh boi, I selfship with Kid, Ace and Shanks I'm sorry I can't control myself 😔🤤. But not the three of them in the same timeline, I'm a lazy ass and I just follow the timeline I mostly use in the respective story I wrote (still writing lol) for each of them. For Kid I just love starting from Sabaody, for Ace I like to concentrate on his backstory as a new man of Whitebeard, and for Shanks his past before he met Luffy. Seems like I like imagining and writing things from the gaps Oda left 😂! But yeah I'm kinda obsessed with them, especially Ace who was my VERY FIRST anime crush even I didn't even know anything about selfship etc. 😏 BUT as I said I'm a lazy ass and I don't publish anything on my blog cause I can't bother trad them in english.... sorry folks. 😅

Two redheads and a freckle boy! I love how you made three separate timelines for them (though, not gonna lie, seeing this happening in one... hmm, it'd be possible, but smells angst too much 😅).

And no need to be sorry! ❤

@lazybutsmexy said:

DENJIRO!! I swear I got it bad for this man as soon as he appeared. Who gave him the right??? Tall, handsome, gentlemanly, a sprinkle of crazy and a swordman on top of all. How dare he enter my heart like that?? I do imagine being one of the courtesans in the pleasure house who gets more of his attention than others hehehe there's a bit of backstory as well, but I'm a bit too busy to write anything, so it will stay in my head 🥰 Also, Pell!! He doesn't get enough attention and it hurts my soul. He deserves more love and I'm here to give it all to him. (I hope to remedy that lack of content a little with my entry for your raffle, which I'll be posting soon hehehe)

I ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND YOU WITH DENJIRO, ALRIGHT?! He really just appeared and stole everyone's panties, ngl.

I just hope he will be as immortal as Pell cause lately... Who reads Wano, knows 😂

Waiting for that Pell piece 👀

@pirate-shrimpi said:

well... uh... the angy tulip? who would have thought haha. He got very cocky lately with all the attention he gets now.. but I am happy :D but then there is he other side that is just in love with a certain Orca and Penguin. <3

Kid fans eat well in Wano 👀 And the best is still in front of you, both in anime and manga 👀

Shachi and Penguin are so adorable 😳 They deserve this love!

@doublesohsandwich said:

As you may have guessed... I self-ship with Killer! I just love this big blonde man. I get heart-eyes when I see him lol Also, I've been following you so long and root for your self-ship so much that sometimes when Law and Zoro are onscreen I'll catch myself thinking "aww look at Bas's boyfriends, getting along!" 😅

Oh yes, I know well 👀 And can't blame you, Killer is my favorite Kid Pirate! Great husbando material, he can cook!

Haha, omg, this flatters me 😂 I hope it doesn't ruin One Piece for you ^^"

@selfshipcornchip said:

I used to selfahip with Luffy back when One Piece was on season 1 or 2. Yknow, 100 years ago.

I feel like everyone has their Luffy selfship phase at some point 😂 No wonder, he's a great character and a great inspiration!

@cherryblossom-chopper said:

I self ship with Usopp or Robin 😳😳

Oh, Usopp! So happy this boy gets some love and attention, he's so underrated 😭 What can I say about Robin, a wife material 👀

@kaizokuwritings said:

so if you don't mind... I'm shipping with Mihawk and Gaban, Mihawk because he's a charismatic and smart man, Gaban because he's funny and petty 👀💃🏼

Mihawk & Gaban is the new zosan lmao

I see, you have a taste for daddies mature with class 👀 Y'know, when I think about it now, I find them quite similar? Not in an obvious way, but there's something connecting them.

There's that truth we all do, indeed, have a type 👀

@elen87 said:

I don’t know much about self ships, I didn’t even knew they were a thing up until now?? but yeah, I’ve been in love with Ace since like 2003, I just love him so much, I was heartbroken after Marineford and after some time I just decided to kinda ignore that part I guess, in order to hurt less

Ignoring canon is a selfcare! Besides, there are always various AUs to explore, so no one would suffer ❤ Ace lives and is all healthy with you!

@theiriskriss said:

My heart and soul belongs to vista

Some things never change - and your dedication to Vista is one of them! 😊

@shirorabu said:

I’ll put my two cents in and say that Sanji is my love and my light ✨💖✨ and I’m here to give him the husband he so well deserves. My story is so so detailed it would take pages to talk about so I’ll spare the details. If anyone else from the replies wants to chat as well, my dms are always open ^^)/

I'm so, so glad Sanji receives the love from you! Was watching his Germa backstory with my sis today and we both cried so much 😭

And if you don't mind it, you can always slip into my dms as well, with no matter how many pages of details 👀

@salemzwitch said:

I selfship with Crocodile. I just like evilish bastard characters like him, something about them just makes me feel so soft

The bastards do have the charm 👀 Personally not the villain-ish type of characters fan, but I see a lot of fans of them and I can only root for you all! <3

[lunar-lair]

ok say hello to my insanely new oc who ive made entirely to be a villain who is still an excellent adult and a decent parent, probably. cares too much abt kids. think reigen mob psycho with a drop or two of milla. worked under Nick From The Mailroom and was actually in on his scheme.

has always been rather cold and brash towards adults, but is more caring towards kids. in my brain he has a brooklyn type accent? rough and tumble, walks around without a tie, yknow? they keep him cause he sorts mail real good, though.

(added a read more because this got INSANELY LONG AKSKSK i spent like an hr on this h)

he was a delugeionist, but only because he kinda just wanted to rip the world apart a little; lysandre vibes, thinks a lot of it is scum and needs to go. thinks the *psychonauts* are scum and need to go. hes psychic but suppressed it, think aquato parents but extra toxic about it, and straight up just saying being psychic is unnatural. wouldnt go to loboto parent lengths tho. so he adopted that thought of 'being psychic is unnatural and wrong', which contributed to a lot of self hate that was never learned out. likely, he realizes hes a shitty person and thinks he needs to go too. so like...yknow hank, dbh? kinda the vibe im gettin right now. way more formal, of course, and while usually gruff, is more polite when its needed; can and *will* beat the shit out of you verbally in a factual way, though, and can talk more street-lingo if hes talkin to real thugs. (probably winged it on his own after failing college or smth, hes got the vibes.)

anyways, its this plot where he slinks off and starts planting mistrust in the psychonauts or something. and inevitably he just...shows up and starts kidnapping people. dismantling things from the inside and all that. he left and formed a group who also hated psychics at some point, likely friends of his parents and friends of friends, all from his hometown. all of them fight *insanely* dirty, and a lot of them are insanely vulgar. the kids are supposed to be kept away.

but theres a line to follow here.

this man is a fold to raz. hates the psychonauts, hates being psychic, adopted his parent's hate of psychics, hates the *world.* raz is young and unburdened and unjaded...mostly. hes not the shock of water some young characters can be when it comes to being the foils of other characters; think steven with a villain or something, right? but raz is sassy and a little jaded, and not total sunshine positivity.

hes a child this man could look down on and not be immediately annoyed by, who is worried by yet respects raz's realization of the world as it is, however little that is.

and yet raz is still his foil. he still mostly loves the psychonauts, despite it all, he loves being psychic, for the most part, he dodged adopting his parents previous values, he still seems to have an even view of the world as a whole.

raz is jaded, if only a little, but he moved past it and accepted that things could still be bright. this man is jaded, but he stayed in his stormclouds, never looked for the sun.

ok where. was i. RIGHT ok so. at the beginning of this...story? the man finds raz being talked down to by one of the office workers; someone with weak psychic powers whos insanely jealous of his prowess. an adult who envies the young prodigy. and theyre giving him some insane task to do, like cleaning all of the closets within the hour, but hes saved the world twice, so he smiles and nods along, because he said he would help around the motherlobe, and this adult is asking him to do something that seems simple enough.

and this guy, internally, goes 'bitch.' for a good long second bc 1. dude even if you envy a kid, kinda fucked to show that?? not their fault 2. WHY are you asking a 10 year old to do that. why is there a 10 year old here. holy shit thats a 10 year old oh my god hes so tiny (no one told him there was a 10 year old because they knew hed stomp right up to management but. regardless. he is going to stomp up to management after this and no one can really stop him. except maybe raz well see)

so yknow. dude fixes his slight slouch and walks forward and politely tells this woman that 1. hes 10 why are you jealous of him and 2. hes 10????????? and shes like shit hes 10. and apologizes. and walks away

and raz is VERY ?? bc she was doing what? why is him being 10 important? and its that young part of you that gets pissed when people try to keep you from doing things because youre young and hes DEFINITELY yet to learn that piling responsibilites that should be handled by adults onto a child is fucked up in its own special way (looking at you ford, *nick*)

and the dude calmly explains because yea. he gets that. and he still sounds gruff and a little peeved but he squats down to razs height and he talks simply and factually, telling him straight on why it isnt right.

and. huh. people dont really do that for raz. except for sasha, sometimes, everyone likes to dodge the truth a lot with him, because hes 10, and sometimes, hes too nice to tug it out of them.

and this guy, this man that raz is already polishing a trophy for 'good adulting' in the back of his brain with his striking statements about how adults should handle things and kids should-kids should...get to have fun. not be traumatized.

for the shock on his face when raz said hed already saved the world a couple times, whats some closets. he reigned it in, said that its weird he saved the world, because thats usually their jobs.

and this guy offers his hand on instict before he stands up, even though he doesnt seem very sweet and kind like the adults that usually offer raz a hand. and he takes it, i think. he takes it.

warm. warm, a little nice.

reminds raz of his dad, maybe. he wonders if this man has any kids himself, but keeps his mouth shut, because he thinks he already has the answer, and its yes.

(he doesnt have any. he would wish he did, but he knows hed fail to raise them right.)

and when he stands, he asks raz what he was asking that woman for, and he says hes doing tasks around the motherlobe because his papers are still coming in. the man doesnt ask. (he knows what 'papers' means, realizes this is the tiny junior psychonaut every room in the damn place has been buzzing about, and he has fucking words for forsythe.) he just offers for the kid to sort mail under his supervision.

and that sounds boring. at least, it usually would.

this man is interesting, and a good...person? a good adult? hes...hes new. hes new, and calm, and a little like sasha but a lot not, and he thinks he trusts him.

so raz grins and says yea, mail sorting sounds nice.

(debatably, raz does not take his hand. hes too jaded when it comes to adults. debatably, he does not feel any warmth from this man who has taught him every adult has been telling him wrong. debatably, im projecting. but thats the whole point of ocs, hm?)

and then holes crop up in motherlobe systems. people are kidnapped.

raz keeps seeing the strange man, keeps telling him things, keeps hearing back, gruff and factual and a little annoyed, but raz can almost-just-barely tell its not at him, with the way he talks.

he can tell. he can tell.

he can never tell. this man is making sure he can tell.

raz trusts the man, is still polishing that trophy for 'best adulting' he has settling in the back of his mind.

and then the man comes with a militia.

he did not seem jaded. he did not seem hateful. he never showed any anger or hate towards raz.

but thats because he knows kids dont deserve it.

an excellent moral or two. a rotten, broken heart.

and at first, they keep the kids away, because these people fight dirty, because this isnt their battle, because the man has been sending emails about why 15 year olds are in a secret psychic agency.

(he does not mention raz. by razs second visit, he had just marked the boy down as another reason to hate the psychonauts as a whole, and especially its higher ups.

hes also regretting his alliance to nick by about the third. if he had known the man would puppet a child as if they were a toy, he would have organized his own rebellion ages ago.)

but eventually, the psychonauts need all hands on deck.

they send the children to find the missing agents.

the interns are fought on the way. some of them avoid the child, know the boss would pummel them.

they get to the base, and the strange man, the one with the broken trophy for 'best adult' (still barely-polished, because hes still so sure) still nestled in the back of razs brain, is still there.

the junior psychonauts are spotted. one of the guards throws a few rocks aimlessly.

they surprise them. one almost hits raz.

its intercepted instead.

and the other junior psychonauts watch as this man, their enemy, a villain, in their eyes, reprimands the other man for even accidentally daring, for even trying. for doing something they might have done just a month or so ago, if they had decided he was too much weirder than they already had.

and he yells something like, "Why the hell is he even here?! This is an enemy base, of whats a rebellion! This is a *10 year old*! What kind of adult sends a child *near* something like that?!" and he truly sounds angry this time, raz finds. hes too angry to keep it in. he still sounds gruff and oddly proper. raz is standing there, arms hanging. hes baffled in a specific way, the way he was every time the man's brow furrowed when he mentioned a harrowing story, the way he was the first day they met.

and he asks, a little quiet, a little small, a reminder of how young he really is, "Why are you still trying to keep me safe? We're supposed to be enemies now."

And his brow furrows further before flattening out, and he tilts onto one leg, and he swears he almost kneels to a knee.

He cant believe it. He really cant.

"You're 10." he says simply, softly, that factual way. "You shouldn't even be here."

and raz pauses. the interns freeze.

"...well, here I am."

and i think...it would be so intriguing if this was done halfway out of the mind, because this man is so against anything psychic. it would be so *compelling.*

so raz steps forward and asks again, asks why hes doing this.

and the mans eyes harden, he tries to turn off that soft heart, trying to remind himself of all that he hates. because he hates the psychonauts, because he sort of hates the world.

and raz asks why he could ever hate the psychonauts, head tilted, before listing off the few he knows to be true. but other than that, how? and ok, the world sucks a little, yea, hes seen that, gets that.

and he appreciates that this kid isnt totally gung ho about existence.

but he hates that he isnt, too.

and its this back and forth. everything the man hates, why he hates it. raz saying why its good but admitting why its bad.

and hes swayed, just a little.

but the man stands up from the kneel hed inevitably instinctively put himself into, and walks forward, hand held out yet again.

"You shouldn't be in the Psychonauts," he tells him, soft, factual, brow furrowed. "Come with me. I'll bring you back to your parents, or wherever it is you want to go."

raz contemplates. thinks, for a long moment.

he grabs the mans hand, warm and firm, yet again, for a terrifying moment.

before he reaches up to slap a mental door on his forehead, and astral projects into it.

he thinks this man is good. thinks hes just jaded.

thinks hes the best adult hes ever met, one who just happens to hate a lot of things.

hes only 10.

hes not letting someone who can tell him so clearly whats wrong and right for adults to tell him go that easily.

aaaand yknow. raz does his razzy thing. learns about why the guy hates the world and the psychonauts and himself. helps him learn that its not all bad, that he was excellent to raz, and still is, that things can be bad and good all at once.

the man concedes that raz is very capable, very smart, and can do a lot. but that doesnt mean he should have to.

raz tells him, though, that he likes working for the psychonauts. its his dream. and he realizes some things he was told to do were kinda screwed up, now. that maybe, in honesty, he was dealt a bad hand.

but hes done what he can with that hand, and he ended up with a royal flush.

and uh! yknow!! then raz leaves his mind and he calls off the rebellion! its like a rhombus of ruin type adventure, except without the villain being present beforehand. its just not clustered in insanely close with a ton of other wild shit.

anyways this got really long? sorry?? its an oc i just saw good adult and slight father vibe potential in the vibe i instantly got on him and then i went feral???? rip maybe someone will read this and if you did. congrats i honestly really liked how the whole foil and good-yet-bad and consideration of raz being 10 thing worked out. this oc is almost like our representative in the psychonauts world the way reigen is for the audience in mp100. yea :) i match them up a lot but thats just cause they vibe a lot. anyways its 1:40 am now and i spent abt an hour on this hope it vibed mildly byeeee

[sugawara--san]

alright i started watching naruto earlier this week and just some things i'd like to say:

90% of the time i am yelling at the screen for people to stop disrespecting my boy naruto and like, pumping my fist cheering for him???

love when they play the music™ and i know some awesome asskicking is about to take place

i also really love it when they do the hand signs can't tell ya why it just makes me happy lmao

kakashi. that's it that's the thought

okay usually when i watch a show i will have like one favorite and i'll like some of the others but here there are just SO many that i fuckin love?

naruto just might have to be my fav but after him it is VERY close between a whole bunch of them

he is BABY and deserves so much love and respect and is also such a badass. his determination and the way he inspires?? *chef's kiss*

in the beginning i thought my fav was gonna be sasuke cuz yknow we love a hothead emo

but somewhere naruto pulled ahead and then sasuke was gone for a bajillion episodes and suddenly a whole shit ton of others were occupying all of my brainspace

like shikamaru? love him. what an absolute badass genius. unmatched strategy

hinata? BABY. love her. a total baddie. cry whenever she's onscreen. admire her determination just like naruto

kiba? i know almost nothing about him but god i love him. he is so pretty and also i love the pup. would love more kiba content

rock lee? cracks me tf up. is awesome and a sweetheart. died when he took off the leg weights lmao i feel so bad for him tho :(

shino? BEST BUGGY BOY. love the mysterious vibe. is a lowkey baddie. i laughed for five minutes at that one post of him crying watching a bug's life. applauded when naruto dubbed him as one of the powerhouses.

SIDE NOTE TEAM 8 DYNAMIC IS TOP TIER WHAT I SEE IS HINATA AND HER BROTHERS FOR LIFE OKAY

okay but is it just me or would the leaf village kiddos as a whole just have like excellent style

the byakugan is cool and the fight between hinata and neji was double cool

the fight between naruto and neji had me so hyped i couldn't fall asleep omg

i am a sucker for naruhina. them during the chunin exams was super touching and adorable. but i'm worried it's gonna take naruto forever to notice and realize. i know it will djnsnwjfhjs fuck

i want more team 7 bonding

also bonding in like all the relationships between the leaf village kiddos

sasuke calling bitches he fights clowns we love to see it

there are so many characters usually one will have been introduced and i go "wow i don't think i'm gonna like them what a dick/creep/freak/bitch" LMAO and then they get an episode w them and/or their backstory in it and i'm like AW:( and have to take back what i said

like i disliked pretty much everyone in the other groups at the start of chunin exams cuz i thought they were just gonna be villains and then? no??

the fight between gaara and naruto was cool but mostly it was sad to see those two sad bois

also i have to say i haven't seen them all yet ofc but so far the first opening just goes harder than the rest

idk if this makes sense but the whole first opening is the team 7 dynamic i want :((

FUCK i wanna say plz don't touch sasuke but they're gonna fuckin do it aren't they :( noo

they fuckin did it sasuke don'T

SHIKAMARU'S ASSEMBLED TEAM >>>>>

I AM LOVIN IT SM MY BOYS

okay i felt bad for neji when they gave his backstory but i was still salty for hinata lmao and i kinda thought he was still a bitch but on this team i'm actually starting to like him?

why do naruto and sasuke fight so much ugh and yall are just gonna pretend you're not besties who care for and admire each other?? okay then

how fucking SAD and CONFUSED naruto is @ sasuke AW NO

ROCK LEE IS BACK BABYYYYY

I AM LOSING MY MIND FIRST LEE J STOPS SOMEONE ABOUT TO ATTACK HIM SAYING HE MUST TAKE HIS MEDICINE AT A SPECIFIC TIME AND THE GUY JUST LETS HIM?? AND SECOND LEE BEING SO PURE AND SUCH A LIGHTWEIGHT I'M CRYING

rock lee drunk fighting is def never something i've thought of before but now i will, regularly

the sand siblings are back in businesssss like i said i hated like all the other groups but now i'm excited cuz i feel like the gaara redemption is gonna be good and wholesome

aw gaara

sasuke what the FUCK are you DOING I AM MAD ABOUT IT WHAT THE HELL

THE WAY NARUTO STILL GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU AND IS ACTUALLY BEING A MATURE AND CARING FRIEND FOR FUCK'S SAKE SASUKE PLEASE GET A GRIP

HIS LITTLE EVIL GIGGLE IS NOT. IT.

please stop this :(

aw poor baby sasuke

"you have to kill your best friend" okay ay least sasuke is acknowledging that they're best friends jesus fuCK

catch me crying

NARUTO IS SUCH A BADASS AHHHH and they way he is kicking ass but like out of love i love to see it

i am so fuckin emotional right now their bond

sasuke put on the headband tho :(((

holy fuckin shiT

i honestly feel like i'm being attacked

shikamaru crying nooo

no one will read this but i think that concludes my week one thoughts, folks

[technicallyaminecraftsimp]

*kicks down door* HEY IM BACK I BROUGHT THE PLAYLIST THING IT TOOK A WHILE THERE WERE MORE SONGS THEN I REALIZED :D

Okie dokie, and now I present: All the songs on my c!Tommy Spotify playlist and an explanation of why I connected it to c!Tommy

Just Take My Wallet ~ Jack Stauber - I think this is one of the only songs I have on here that, like everyone already is aware of. The main part of this song focused on is the line “what’s the kindest way to say, you took away my friend, my buddy” relating to how tommy cares so much about Tubbo, and vice versa. The first example I can think of is when techno, someone tommy trusted and was close to, executed Tubbo. It can also be used for Tubbo, and how recently tommy was killed

Sweet Hibiscus Tea ~ Penelope Scott - so remember when ppl were going crazy going stupid bout Rät? Well, listening to that got me to listen to this song and instantly when I heard it, I thought of c!Tommy. Mainly the line “I am not your protagonist, I’m not even my own” can kind of relate to how tommy never wanted to be the hero. He was placed into this hero role involuntarily.

Car Radio ~ Twenty One Pilots - this one might be a bit of projecting oops- but whenever I listened to this song, I related to it because I like to listen to music to distract or calm down. I guess I can kinda see c!Tommy in a similar way. He had to give his music discs up, and for a while lost that memory of listening to them after sweet moments, he lost that escape he could use. And because of that, in the time without the discs, he just has to face his trauma and all that’s happened to him. Most of this is projecting whoops /hj

Change Your Mind ~ Steven Universe - Hghhhgh I’ve been wanting to talk about this one specifically for a looong time. This song is a short one, but I do think it relates to c!Tommy after doomsday and maybe after the prison arc. Sort of like a post-healing arc song. Mainly directed towards Techno and Phil. “I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me” y’all, respect was a big thing between techno and tommy. That whole Axe of Peace thing? And how after the community house discourse, techno told tommy “you’re not worthy of that axe.” And then “I don’t need you to love me, I love me” this might seem a bit like Dadza, but dad or not, Phil didn’t really give much care for tommy. “But I want you to know you could know me, if you change your mind” I’m just saying, the people who’ve come to be close w c!Tommy are ppl who’ve taken the time to know him, and they don’t fight against him because of different opinions. And maybe it’s me missing Bedrock boys, but techno and tommy could become close once again, if they take the time to repair the crack between them and communicate.

Dear Mom ~ Beetlejuice - listen to this, just listen to this and tell me this doesn’t scream Tommy missing Wilbur. Sometime between the end of the Manburg war and before the prison arc, this song fits. The chance of Wilbur being revived is the only reason Dream was kept alive. It kinda gave me exile vibes with the line like “I want something to believe in or im done, take me where my soul can run”.” Also may I note “Dad” could be replaced w Dream

Sober ~ FIDLAR - ajkakja ok this one might seem a bit weird but let me explain. It kinda gave me “c!Tommy is done w everybody’s shit and bites back.” Mainly ‘biting back’ at techno. Especially with lines like “I’m trying to get better, but I can’t do that when every goddamn thing is about you!” Look, I am an c!Tommy apologist, but I say this with a neutral mind; techno (and some techno apologists) wouldn’t listen to Tommy’s response during both times techno released Withers.

Saint Bernard ~ Lincoln - this one, um I don’t know how to explain. Just, vibes of tommy, kinda talking to Dream? Idk man just listen to it. I’ll just point out the line “there’s really just one thing that we have in common: neither of us will be missed”

ART IS DEAD ~ Bo Burnham - honestly I added this one because my wifey said “this is a c!Tommy song” and I agree but I don’t know how

Not Your Seed ~ TGWDLM - Egg Infected!Tommy? Egg Infected!Tommy. Yeah, it just makes me think of Phil and/or techno finding an Infected!Tommy cuz the lines, yknow? Yeah. This isn’t original, I just know it, but y’all get to deal w it /lh

Ultimately ~ khai dreams - healing arc song. I don’t know what else to say, but I’m soft. I soft and this song was roped in because of it.

Our Word ~ 36 Questions - look, you don’t have to tell me, I know Phil isn’t canonically his dad and techno isn’t canonically family at all, but let me manifest mkay? Yeah this is just vibes of dsmp!sbi. Also explains why c!Tommy is always so defensive and never took the blame for things he did. Also, 36 Questions is underrated, listen to it now 🔫 /j

Freeze Your Brain ~ Heathers the Musical - DID I HEAR BAD HABITS TO COPE WITH TRAUMA? YES I DID. SHUT UP. /lh look, Tommy is only now getting therapy and talking about his trauma, it’s just, vibes of bad habits to cope w trauma, even if that habit is slushies. Also, this is not me promoting villain!tommy, villain!Tommy does not and will not exist

Might Quit ~ Bill Wurtz - this is another weird one, let me explain. I just think the lyrics kinda match the progression of c!Tommy’s life, listen to it idk. Also the progression of the verse(?) line “it’s the first day of school, and I think I might quit” look I can’t explain my thinking w all of these, my brain just hears them, goes brrrr, and connects it to c!Tommy. You guys accepted this, so you get what you asked for /lh

Monster ~ dodie - this is a post-prison arc Tommy song and no one can change my mind. For this one, all I can say is listen to the song man. But I while say, the line progression(?) (like the different ways of saying it in the different verses) of the “cause no one listens to the dead” is just such a match, because c!Tommy even said he still feels like he’s dead, not physically, but because everyone is still treating him so.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

yknow while this hellsite continues on the whole religion discussion thing, i’d like to jump in on it with my experience particularly with leaving catholic school.

like aside from my angsty pop-punk/emo etc teen phase (which’ll obvs be weaved into story later on) that led me to have different views from the church and aside from the whole sexism thing that i endured over my year 10 formal/junior prom in 2010 and 2011 from staff there….. i found it within myself incredibly hard to leave there… mostly because i’d known literally 1/3 of my year group at catholic school since kindy/kindergarten or some other point in primary school.

this affected my choice to leave and it was quite tumultuous inwardly. knowing the safety and predictably of the people i was with for all those years was a comfort to me. i knew their parents due to parent mixer bbqs that we’d have after mother’s day and father’s day liturgies- although i hated the mother’s day ones mostly, due to personal reasons. but to leave that comfortable place for overly loyal, kinda sorta shy (although everyone who knew me at that school wouldn’t’ve described me as shy bc i was a very loud show off because of drama class 😅) and by year 10, very lonely, highly socially anxious and depressed, teen me was terrifying. it meant losing her friends and stability and she obvs hated that thought. it meant leaving the one one place she ever felt good at something, drama class.

obviously, after she did leave for public school, she visited the catholic school on a few separate occasions, to try and keep the connection “alive” or whatever the fuck she wrote in a fake deep status on her fb (that i now get in my fb memories every year lmao). but it all ended pretty badly, when everyone from that school stopped talking to her once high school finished. no one invited her out. or if people did try to invite her out, like a couple of people did, it always fell through…. and it made her feel like she was just a bad luck charm or whatever other low self esteem talk she was telling herself. there was quite a few moody statuses around that too lmao.

but yeah. leaving catholic school was a massive thing for me back then, because even though i hadn’t gone to church on sunday for literal Y E A R S at that point; i still had a strong pull to that school because i’d known SO MANY kids at that school from primary/elementary/grade etc school, regardless of their year group level. because if there’s one thing catholic school was good at, it was networking 😂. you knew everyone, and everyone knew you. it was safe, it was sound, so i didn’t want to leave.

but once you leave, you lose your friends and what almost felt like an extended family (although they obvs weren’t). but at the same time, i’d grown to hate the safety and almost insularity of the school, because as i mentioned earlier, you felt like you could predict how people would react or behave in class/events etc.

i felt the above distinctly, because as i’ve mentioned plenty on here, from years 7-10 i was a very emotionally demonstrative kid. in some classes (mostly religion and PE when i was bothered to participate) i’d end up in shouting matches with the teacher or other students…. or y’know just have a casual meltdown in the middle of class, which many people saw as “attention seeking” behaviour. i felt watched, i felt ready to snap, and to quote the ever present All Time Low i felt like the bridge lyrics from “therapy” (which was/is quite obviously somewhat partially about the price of fame and hollywood imo- but that went over teen me’s head at the time lmao):

“arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to, they’re better off without you (better off without you). arrogant boy, cause a scene like you’re supposed to, they’ll fall asleep without you; you’re lucky if your memory remains”

like yes. i’ll admit those bridge lyrics being applied to this time is rather overdramatic, in hindsight, but hey. that was teen me for ya lmao. and don’t even get me started on applying ATL’s song “sick little games” to this at the time as well 😂😅. anyway. from all the “lms and i’ll tell you what i like about you” trend statuses that people were doing back then on fb, i’d gained the tag of “cool/chill girl”, my crush rich boy, once called me “outrageous” because of how loud i was and how willing in years 7-9 to scream out stupid song lyrics like “i want to fuck dog in the ass” by blink 182, fight song by marilyn manson and then idek probably my humps by black eyed peas at the top my lungs through the very few halls that that school had 😂😅. i was being purposely and annoyingly offensive most of the time.

but eventually, once it came to things like one of the girls in my group wanting to run for vice school captain and the other girls in my group A L W A Y S being given leadership positions (LPs)….. while i always had to apparently “repent” my behaviour by being made (in theory from my teachers) to sit alone at lunch because of my “embarrassing” and “unseemly” behaviour at the so-called “training”/ “retreat” days we had for things like being peer support leaders for the new cohort of year 7s etc etc. i felt like everyone was just waiting for me to leave…. and that they couldn’t stand my “embarrassing” presence and that i’d ruin my friends chances of being selected as co-captain or whatever other bullshit LPs they wanted to run for. but still. i felt like i couldn’t leave. just. how do you leave a bunch of people that you’ve known for so long???

and even when my teachers were nice enough to give me a chance in a leadership position once; in that dastardly bullshit internet safety workshop thing that they should’ve literally just hired a professional workshop co. to do….. but to save money they used students in my year group instead. so, instead of being marked by my teachers on this program; i was marked by the catholic education office. they had a lady come in from the ceo to judge/mark us while presenting…… and this lady went off at teen me for “not being professional, responsible and respectful” or whatever the fuck the woman told 15/16yo me…. which teen me then fired back with “i don’t have to be fucking professional and responsible!!!! IM FUCKING 15!!!!”.. so from then on i was never given an LP or any other type of “peer support” role against my friends who were littered with offers for them. mind you, i did call a whole room of 14 year olds “a bunch of cunts” or the like and then stormed out thinking that i’d made a solid point, so the CEO woman had a good reason 😂😅….. again in hindsight.

of course there was also the bitterness of teen me being angry at the english dept for not giving her a spot in the top class of english in her half of the year. but as i’ve said previously on other posts, i’ve forgiven this because i did essentially fail one shakespeare in class assessment in year 8 or year 9 😂. but i strongly felt this during my time at catholic school bc my friends believed that i should’ve been in the top english class too lmao.

but aside from those troubles and foibles, i still found it incredibly hard to leave. to leave the perceived closeness of that group of girls, who would sometimes walk me down to the office and sit with me in “purple room” while i waited for the teacher that had to act as my therapist almost lmao. even though i always told my friends to leave me be and go back to class bc i felt bad about dragging them out of class for so long.

but yeah. with all the above behaviour, the song lyrics to me at the time made sense bc teen me just felt so pressured to fit into the whole “funny, cool, outrageous girl” bs box that people had put her in…. but at the same time she wanted to escape it bc she was just *flyleaf voice* SO SICK of being laughed at instead of laughed with (atl weightless reference here kids) just because… like she DESERVED to be taken seriously for fucks sake, and not a be a “monkey do funny dance” person… she obvs felt this the most in drama class. where in the shakespeare unit, she picked a medley of romeo and juliet and taming of the shrew monologues to do for her monologue. although she nearly did lady macbeth throwing herself off the tower, to be hella edgy…. but she opted not to do that in the end. but she picked serious pieces bc she was sick and tired of being classed as the one trick pony go-to funny person.

okay. this really went off topic. but y’all get the point??? the decision of leaving catholic school was a hell of a ride for little 14-16yo me. it was confusing, terrifying and tied up in years of being overly judged and feeling like people wanted me to leave bc they were sick of me. it was tied up in years of mid-class meltdowns that had become kind of routine for me to have, and that people were just brushing me off as “attention seeking”…. but also ironically waiting for me to snap at any second for another wild shouting match or walkout; which would then make me look like i was “unruly” or “untameable/unmanageable” or whatever the fuck….. but i couldn’t take that anymore, for the final senior years. i HAD to leave it.

again it was hard to leave for loyal little teen me, despite how lonely and isolated she felt. why leave your friends when you’re comfortable??? but also: why stay in this toxic environment where people are just waiting for you to either shut the fuck up and put up with it or just blow up and absolutely lose your shit??? that’s just unhealthy asf. and the only unruly thing that’s happening here is the complete lack of mental health help or management in the aussie education system; but most especially in religious schools.