#and they literally have dogs and cats and chickens that they keep outside ? do you not care about scaring them ?

[sonknuxadow]

i havent seen much of it thankfully but whenever i see somebody on here making unironic 4th of july posts im just like Oh.... get well soon i guess....

[uknowmesblog]

Ah, ah, I am an awful person for taking so long to write again.

Guilty as charged, I had a hell of week and It's still going strong. Pray for my soul, I have flour in my nose.

!!TW!!

FOUL language, kind off groping/pawing. Soft punisment. Virgin Reader. (I m a sucker for this trope and I won't be sorry)

No minors pls, I can't deal with this.

Also, does anyone know how to do a materialist? I m not the smartest 🤓

Oh what a debriefing it was, hands on you all the time. Small whispers almost passed without a second thought, your pussy literally weeping every time Johnny threw one of his panty-melting smile. You left the space dizzy, barely remembering where is that damned room you we're assigned, your mind a battle ground between hating the situation you are in and enjoying all the attention you could get.

Male attention wasn't a thing in your life, your dad scarring them like he was a rabid dog. No one will touch the daughter of a high military rank man, risking to dissappear like dust in wind out of nowhere.

And when you grew up? Your mind was already made, you would grow old with lots of cats and maybe a parrot just for the effect. Lost was the idea of even a fuck, your virginity now collecting dust figuratively.

Now two men, three if you take in consideration Price who's smirking from time to time, gave you more attention and more touches than you could register in your slow mind. (If you'll have awareness, you would count four.)

"Jesus christ" You sighed, closing your door and resting your forehead against it, cool wood taking the edge off a bit. After diner you had plans, something soft for your first night ready. Nothing scandalous, just taking a break.

═════ ◈ ═════ 

Dinner passed fast, you had some kind chicken and mashed potatoes. Good enough to not starve, you almost had a tantrum over the fact there wasn't dessert but one glare from Ghost had you bite your tongue. His baklava rised over his nose, scarred full lips staying flat as you glared at your food.

You listened as everyone was moving around their rooms until silence enveloped the whole space and you gracefully tiptoed outside, finding a spot concealed in shadows under the full moon.

It's cold, your fingers tightened around the pack of smokes as you seated yourself on some sort of decorative rock. A military base with decorative rocks, making you snort as your lips wrapped around a cigarette. You didn't smoke in a while, deciding is way too expensive and your budget was tight as a nun's ass. But now you had enough to live off a while, maybe two months at best.

Your new salary sounds good on paper, but it is worthy to risk your whole life for extra money? You don't have an answer as you look at the sky, lips puffin a cigarette. Your eyes fall on your phone, distracted by the sound of it, not hearing the silent men with a skull baklava approaching you.

One palm wrapped around your mouth, the other gripping your wrist making you drop your phone on the floor.

"Shh, it's jus' me" He whispered, hot breath fanning against your neck. You tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but he only tightened his hold on you. You huffed annoyed, his low and raspy chuckle making you shiver.

"You are such an annoying little doll, aren't you?" His hand leave your mouth, wrapping around your throat. "So mouthy, so bratty" his hand travelled further down, making your breath hitch.

"Now keep it nice and quiet for me luv, your punishment will be easy tonight"

His fingers cupped your cunt over your pants, making you yelp and trash. He slapped it twice stopping you yelp, stopping all the movements.

"Stay still, you won't want Johnny to hear you, he will be between these pretty thighs s'fast you will cum before even thinking about it."

Your eyes rolled back, his fingers dropping under your waistband and finding your dripping pussy welcoming all hot and bothered.

One finger gingerly rubbing your clit, your breath coming out panting. This is so wrong, deep in your mind you know this is power imbalance and he shouldn't be doing this.

You should stop this, you should cry for help.

But a depraved part in you it's enjoying the way his fingers are working you higher and higher, so close to -

"No, not tonight ' He retreated himself so fast, like you are burning and he just got some of it.

"W-what?" You blinked, confused and worked up.

"Good girls receive pleasure, brats receive the punishment. " The audacity of this man, made you open your mouth instantly.

"Isn't like I can touch myself?"

"You could do that and receive a worde punishment " He looked at you with that impassive face, the only thing showing his sick pleasure it's the bulge that was showing off a lil too much.

"And trust me I will now" He grunted, tilting his head.

"You can't be serious, you can't just ban masturbating"

"Watch me, if you want me to finish what I started, you can beg tomorrow on your knees." He turned around, leaving you flustered and confused. Red cheeks, eyes ready to shed tears and a pussy leaking wetness ready to be stuffed.

Your plan just backfired, you need to find something new thats sure!

@brxghtlxghtz @niresenrab @nes-kopi @chickennn-soupp @clear-your-mind-and-dream

Its short ik ik, Don't kill me.

I had some time today at work and I said why not? I need a break from life.

[hadesoftheladies]

the fact that most so-called "pro-lifers" are anti-vegan is hilarious to me. like it perfectly showcases how insincere they are. the amount of self-righteous "keep your ethics consistent" talk is thrown out the window the moment an anti-abortionist celebrates carnism.

"the baby is alive and sentient" so is a dog and chicken

"the baby can feel pain and suffer" so can a cow but you're okay killing one even when not harming it doesn't threaten your life (unlike having a fetus growing inside you would)

"the baby might possess mental capacities" so does a cat or chimpanzee. literally prove to me how the mental capacities of a baby are somehow greater than that of an adult dog's.

"that's different. human babies have the capacity to develop higher cognition." okay. so we can make it illegal to kill babies when they have those higher cognitions. bc if we said fish will evolve higher cognitive capacities in a few billion years, would you stop killing them? or are such time limits arbitrary? human babies are also born with the potential to do great good or great harm, so the potential of their cognitive development doesn’t tell us if it’s a good idea to save one. the argument isn't persuasive. if anything it’d be more moral perhaps to save a chicken that’s guaranteed to not rape or molest anyone than risk saving a human that could.

"we must be the voice for the voiceless and defend the defenseless" the jokes write themselves

“but we’re only obligated to be moral to our species” yeah that’s the exact logic genocidal maniacs used against people outside their race/tribe

"but all babies are innocent" so was that turkey you shot for thanksgiving, bud

[cryptomiracle]

so I just wanna say I loved your ‘masky with a little sister’ and it made me want some more Creepypasta with a sister with Toby and Lyra and maybe even x virus (I’m pretty sure he’s half brother with Toby I’m not sure if it’s cannon or not😭) or Jeff and liu

AAAAA TYSM!

2ND REQUEST 💪‼️

I'm not really sure if you meant toby and lyra with reader as their sibling, or toby and lyras sibling relationship.

So I just went with toby, lyra, and cody.

But I'd be happy to make one where reader IS their sibling if you'd like!

Ticci toby, x-virus, and lyras sibling relationship

(Btw, I just found out you can color words?? omg)

WARNINGS: DEATH, MENTIONS OF GRAVES, MENTIONS OF BULLYING, ETC

please remember that most of these are my personal headcanons for ticci toby, x-virus, and lyra.

Toby and lyra

I hc that lyra wanted to be a hairstylist, so she would experiment on tobys hair.

She'd do pin curls, mullets, bowl cuts, waves, literally anything to his hair if he'd let her.

For toby, I hc that he wanted to be a wrestler as a kid, so he'd try to sneak attack lyra.

Toby loves animals.

He always had a connection with animals, and nature

He'd drag up random dogs, cats, birds, squirrels, etc.

But he always had to keep them outside..

Lyra would dress the animals up, (using their fathers clothes) and do little fashion shows with them.

-----

Toby was constantly picked on in school, so ofc lyra tried to stand up for him.. which resulted in her being bullied as well.

The girls at that school were ruthless.

Around other people toby was shy, quiet and reserved.

But with lyra, he was loud, happy, and energetic.

He was his true authentic self.

Even when they fought, they were inseparable.

Even after the crash, they were inseparable.

He stayed by her grave for DAYS

they had to go get him and psychically drag him back home.

Toby and cody

(I'm not 100% sure if they are canonically brothers, but I like the idea of it so I'mma work with it!)

Honestly, I think when toby first found out that Cody is his half brother, he'd hold a little resentment towards cody.

Mainly because Cody didn't have to go through what he did with his father, and because in the back of his mind, it felt like he was trying to replace lyra.

But after he found out Cody's backstory, he stopped feeling that way.

It took them a while to get close to eachother and really have that "brotherly bond" but eventually, they did get closer.

Especially over their love of cats

Together, they own 12 cats that just roam around Forrest.

Now that they're closer, cody and toby are literal menaces.

With Cody's knowledge of chemicals, and Toby's knowledge of nature, they started growing shrooms.

LMAOO

okay but seriously, a few activities they like to do together, include:

Playing video games

(they bully little kids on roblox together)

Killing

(toby will go kidnap someone for cody to experiment on as an apology whenever cody gets mad at him)

Farming

(they have a singular chicken as a house pet)

Watching theories

(game theories, but also theories people make about THEIR victims, just to see how close they get)

And finally:

Fishing.

They like to go fishing.

sorry this is so short, I wrote this like 20 minutes before I had to get ready to go somewhere.

But I do hope you enjoyed!

Ty for reading - M

[mememanufactorum]

Badger’s Best of 2022 sentence starters

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

* All lines are from this video made by content creator TheRussianBadger.

“I didn’t come here to fuckin’ read!”

“I will carpet bomb your house.”

“No, we’re not going in the direction of ranch.”

“I don’t want to see another video of [name] killing a wasp with ranch dressing.”

“Fuck you, you’re going to the ranch dimension.”

“It’s Ezekiel torn, the Lord is coming back for us. Take me, God!”

“What alcohol do you think [name] would drink? 100% malt liquor.”

“Pass me that travel size Jack Daniels.”

“Yeah, I cleared the house. Off the fucking map.”

“Doctor tried to give me Tylenol instead of percs so I punched him in his fuckin’ face.”

“Your voice is so bassy that my subwoofer keeps shaking my entire fucking wall and I’m scared.”

“You smell like fuckin’ beans, dog.”

“What did I just hear? That doesn’t even sound like an insult.”

“Hey, fall over, break your neck. It’ll be funny.”

“You deserve a bullet.”

“How about you immerse yourself in a shower, bro?”

“I might be 29 years old with dementia, ‘cuz I forgot entirely what the fuck I was gonna say!”

“You did not find your jaw under your bed.”

“The tooth fairy should give you a Dodge Charger if you put your jaw under your bed.”

“Kentucky is literally just farming coal, fried chicken, and horses.”

“Physics wasn’t lying, that particle can exist upon observation.”

“If I hear another ‘swas’, I will fire my Kar 98k into oncoming traffic.”

“I’m showing these mortals what’s good.”

“Even your exhale was autotuned.”

“You sound like a Decepticon charging up.”

“That’s not the pitch moving, that’s just me existing.”

“Yeah, this is going great. Suck my fucking dick.”

“The ocean is a soup. Well, it’s filled with microplastics, so I hope you’re hungry.”

“I hit critical mass, bro. My computer just died.”

“I don’t see how you can hate from outside of the club. You can’t even get in.”

“Michael Jordan’s classic punchline when he sunk it from three: Shabingus.”

“What the dog doing? Literally crushing an entire metropolis.”

“My wife is the greatest, I really love her. First thing I hear? ‘Cringe’.”

“Parry this, you stupid fuckin’ lizard.”

“I land an 86-hit combo, he hits one haymaker and I just fuckin’ DIE?”

“Go left, you fuckin’ rat.”

“Why are you giggling like a goblin?”

“The rule of God is incoming.”

“Now I know what you meant by ‘the blast radius is YES’.”

“I rob literally everyone I know on purpose.”

“You can’t call me mommy either. You guys are fucking weird.”

“I’m not even shooting that guy, that was so impressive.”

“My brother in Christ, you are witnessing our extinction.”

“That’s him, officer, he wasn’t using the Wii wrist strap.”

“That is, like, the ultimate form of spawn camping.”

“Yeah, because we can barely fuckin’ hear you. Shut the fuck up.”

“That shit was actually giving me a headache a little bit.”

“You are blind in your left eye, don’t talk to us about not having RGB.”

“I’m blind in both eyes, don’t feel bad.”

“Your cat stole your radiator? How does a cat steal a radiator?”

“Nah, bro, he do be certified in HVAC.”

“If you don’t like the dollar fifty hot dog at Costco, you belong in a jail cell. I have nothing else to say to you.”

“I pour the milk, I pour the cereal, and then I get out the bowl.”

“It don’t really matter which one’s first. The bowl is last. Everybody knows that.”

“Blunt force trauma to the head is what killed the very hungry caterpillar?”

“You just made me uncontrollably sneeze.”

“I did not stand a chance. The game was rigged from the start.”

“The fucking brain on this kid!”

“When vehicles are the only thing tethering you to the earth.”

“This silence got me fucked up.”

“Damn, that’s sad as hell. You gotta light up your dinner with a BIC?”

“Nah, it’s been going good these last few months, I got a fourth lighter.”

“I take some chicken noodle Campbell’s soup with me, right? I stick it in the fire and I let the ash get in the soup, and you mix it around, and, I swear to God, it makes it taste better.”

“You know what I do? Not fucking that.”

“That just woke me out of my nap, bro. That brought me to reality.”

“Turn that bullshit channel off, bro, I’m trying to go back to bed.”

“I will fucking kill you if you change the hot dog.”

“It’s really funny when you have to explain what Hamburger Helper is to your wife. She does not understand what it is.”

“Y’all be eating? Shit, I’m over here just breathing, that’s all I get. Good old bowl of air soup.”

“I’m pretty sure [name] had to pay his rent with beans this month.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go drink a gallon of rat poison, I’ll be right back.”

“I’m about to turn you into a fucking Hot Pocket.”

“That lizard took one sip of the McDonald’s Sprite and I was DONE.”

“Why do you laugh like a fucking hyena?”

“Did someone just say unemployment rate falls to zero when you commit genocide on a fucking planet?”

“You can’t glass a fucking planet and say ‘I did it because it solved the unemployment problem’.”

“I now understand why he’s so pissed, bro. That motherfucking bird was outrunning his ass for YEARS.”

“I would be so pissed if all I heard every day: ‘MEEP MEEP’.”

“Make it make sense, dude.”

“Y’all gonna kill me the way y’all talking, bruh.”

“What about that... Mother-motherfucker 43?”

“Ah yes, the ultimate trait in a sniper rifle: A glaring lack of accuracy.”

“You zigged when you should have zagged, my boy.”

“Head empty, only bullet.”

“Give me all the flash grenades you have.”

“Bitch, I’m back out my coma.”

“I am not accepting that reality.”

“Google’s gonna call you an idiot like the fucking computer from Courage.”

“Why am I getting in trouble for speaking the truth?”

“He’s already in jail for second rate shaboingery.”

“Are you talking about the kid that actually went to jail for shaboingery?”

“Imagine being brought in on felony tomfoolery charges.”

“I will admit I was fully aware and cognizant of what I was doing. This was not an accident.”

“You know [name]? He’s allergic to water, dumbass was a fisher for eight years.”

“He’s allergic to water? How? He IS water!”

“Damn, that’s pretty hydrophobic of you. Why would you say that?”

“I need you to put ONE BALL in the hole and you couldn’t land shit!���

“Y’all the type to put fifty dollars down for that stuffed animal, huh?”

“For a second there, I became that meme of that dude sitting in a fast food restaurant just glowing orange.”

“You can’t say the word ‘hamster’ without laughing. ‘Hamster’ is a real word.”

“You’re going to heaven, big boy.”

[charliedawn]

The sad bois (TM) are the main slashers and characters of this blog, because all of you are sad and all of you deserve pets

So here's my list sorry if it's a bit long

Freddy - Hairless Cat, they look like rotisserie chickens and are one of the most affectionate breeds (also sometimes they occasionally grow hair but in patches and I feel like that weirdness suits him)

Michael- Maine Coon they are fucking massive and they fit his vibe

Jason - Newfoundland, big aquatic and loyal, will save him if encounters water

Brahms - Border Collie Lab Mix, Loyalty of the Lab as well as the affection and clinginess of the border Collie, it will never leave him alone

Penny - Komodo Dragon I refuse to elaborate

Pennywise - Doberman, scary and defensive on the outside but cares about family and very docile if approached and trained correctly

The Horde - St Bernard, I feel like all of them would love it and they provide great emotional support

Bo - Bassett Hound, a good hunting dog and companion, when they lay down they look like they're melting

Vincent - Xolo dog, Also Hairless but excellent emotional support dogs, their skin retains warmth and they're very comforting to hug

Lester - Opossum, weird cat will never leave and sometimes bring trash

Hannibal Sr - Tarantula, I also refuse to elaborate

Hannibal Jr - Small Alligator, toothy and honestly a great gaurd dog

Morgan - Python or Venomous snake, He could teach it to attack on command and they'd make a great deadly duo

Kevin - He already has a pet but he is on the list because I feel bad excluding him

Peter - Sugar Glider, it fits him, it's cute and eats fruit, it's also incredibly soft and affectionate and will love him no matter what

And that ladies and gentlemen in the list of Sad Bois and possible pets

Freddy : "...What is that ? An ugly rat ? It looks deformed."

The cat *hisses at him*

Him : "Yeah. Back at ya, Garry." *he already named it**likes it but doesn't want to admit it*

Jason *staring at the cat*

The cat *staring back at him*

Michael *smiles**he likes it*

Jason *smiles* : "Thank you. But...I hope it won't eat my frogs."

Brahms *opens his arms wide and the dog literally tackles him to the ground*

Penny *stucks his tongue out and giggles when the komodo dragon does the same*: "I LIKE HIM !"

Pennywise : "Oh great...Another Penny. He's too active for me. I need my naps." *still wakes up every morning to take him on a walk*

Hedwig : "DOGGIE !" *hugs the St Bernard*

Jade : "WE'RE KEEPING IT !"

Patricia : "Now, wait a minute—!"

Jade : "IT WASN'T A QUESTION !"

Dennis *wearing a mask* : "THE GERMS !"

Bo : "...What am I supposed to do with that short-legged muppet exactly ? He is no huntin' dog. He couldn't catch sh*t." *still smiles when the dog starts sniffing his shoe* "...Cute though. Well, I guess I have no choice but to take ya home, huh buddy ?" *picks him up*

Vincent *stares at the dog and pets it*

(I'll do the Hannibals separately, If you don't mind sending your request again ?)

[alakazamboni-blog]

For the ask game! 🍓 , 🐇 ,🧃, 🍄 , 🔪 , 🦷 ,☁️ , 🌸

OMG tumblr ate this ask for two days! sorry!!

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

Oh this definitely started in college. I started reading fanfiction on and off (homestuck lol) in the 2012/2013 era. By 2016, my senior year in college, I was miserable and almost entirely reliant on tf2 and Danny Phantom fanfiction as a form of escape. My favorite fics, Phantom of Truth and its sequel Shadow of a Doubt, inspired me to finally start writing. My first works were terribly cringe hahaha and will die a nostalgic death entombed in my old laptop under the many things in my closet.

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

never written reader inserts (unless you count second person pov). original characters for sure

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I try to keep a lot of my personal life offline. I don't have a big social media presence. Hmmmm... I really really really wanted to be a paleontologist when I was a kid. I got really good at identifying bones and knew a lot of the names of dinosaurs. I don't remember them anymore, but I used to I swear! (source: 5 yo me)

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

:) My fav ship right now is serirei (of course), but i am very partial to ekurei and grey ghost. Despite my track record on AO3, I'm actually not a big shipper. I mostly like comedy and or angst, and in my writing, I like to explore alien concepts and humanity.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I have researched how long does it take a human to suffocate? to freeze to death? etc but I think these topics are probably pretty common among writers.

For fanfiction, I've researched nuclear physics, decay, and what's actually dangerous in a nuclear fallout event :0

For an original writing project (still unfinished - still unposted anywhere - i need it to be perfect cause i love it), I researched animal tranquilizers and probably got put on a list cause apparently that's a commonly abused drug. I don't know if that's the weirdest topic I've researched, but its definitely the most eyeopening one to a whole underworld I wasn't even looking for 0.0

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

1.) Humans are human. Even the people with physical and mental problems. You'll get very far by treating everyone with respect and love.

2.) Take things slow. This isn't a race. You'll find where your going when you get there.

3.) Touch grass. Literally. Go outside and do something. The simple act of leaving your house or office resets your brain, and you'll find yourself better off in the long term.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

:3 i wanted my fan username to be different from my normal one (in case a friend or family member or coworker searches me), so that forced me to choose something i'd remember. i went with alakazam + zamboni

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

i absolutely love animals and have so many pets! two dogs and a praying mantis. my girlfriend has two cats.

i also keep and raise a few different invertebrates like discoid roaches, giant canyon isopods, dwarf white isopods, superworms (and darkling beatles), and black soldier fly larvae (and soldier flies).

I used to have a bearded dragon (hence my feeder bug colonies), but he recently passed.

i do eventually want to have a koi pond, chickens, a rosy boa, some different millipedes, some silk moths, freshwater shrimp, starry night reed frogs, and i'll always keep dogs with me.

I'll post pictures later under the tag alakazanimals

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait!! Look, Saeyoung will be in heaven!! They are around like.. 15-17 cats in general lmfao

Wanna know the most fun part? YOU CAN PET NEARLY EVERY SINGLE ONE. In fact, most of them even follow you around for head pats and cuddles! The 5 kittens here will think you're their parent and the others usually want some head scratches!

There are these 3 gray and white cats who only follow you for head scratches (the third one took a bit to trust me and today I head him purring for the first time, he has such a quiet purr though-)

They are these two very identical white with some black cats who start licking you even if all you did is stroke their head like.. one time. They keep rubbing your leg and meow at you. (Although they'll mostly lick whatever skin they find on you AHAHAHA)

Saeyoung will be so happy LMFAO. Wait until I tell him that we have like 50 or so chickens and a BIG ASS field! We got like.. infinite eggs!! There's even a garden here where we raise vegetables as well~

We used to have two dogs and goats but they aren't here anymore. Honestly, I would have LOVED to see Saeyoung do the same thing my uncle did with a goat LMFAO

My uncle basically sat on a goat's back and did a gesture like he was riding a motorcycle by touching it's horns ANDHWHDH

And you actually need a car or to use a bus to get around here where I am. So I think that Saeyoung would be very happy driving around here! Although he'll need somewhere to park his car and sadly, I don't think he can bring his whole collection T_T

We even have a beach near us so I think he'll also be very happy to go and relax there! I remember someone fishing one day while I passed by my grandma to dive in. So I think Saeyoung would be really happy about it!

Ah, I wish I could also ride the bike with Saeyoung! Would be fun doing races! The current ones we have are uncomfortable to ride sadly.

The bittersweet thing is that while no one is riding their bikes here like back then, the house in front of us has two kids and even some relatives who come with their own kids and today they played outside! Reminded me so much of the old good days.

It's funny how it used to be one or two kids from nearly each house but now it's only one house, although they don't play that often outside. I had a smile watching them, though.^^

I was originally gonna ramble a bit about Yatora but I think I'll leave it for another ask, Kait! I have a lot to ramble about him as well SKDHWJD

It's been a while since I rambled about doing things with Saeyoung, hehe. I love both Saeyoung and Yatora so much, I'm so happy they are in my life! I wanna shower them both with so much affection and make them a flustered mess~!

I hope you have been doing well, Kait! It's really warm these days so stay hydrated and take care! <3

See, that is also a literal heaven for me. I would love to just flop over on the ground and have a dozen cats decide to be my best friend. Honestly, who doesn't want to do that? Who doesn't want to be swarmed by a dozen cats? I'm sure maybe somebody who is allergic might feel that way, but that ain't me and I am here to pet some kitties. But, I think it's worth saying that Saeyoung would eat this up, too.

He clearly is the kind of person who wants to enjoy the outdoors. He loves animals more than anything so if you put him in a chicken coop and tell him to go crazy, I'm pretty sure the situation will turn into something where he is either getting chased down by the entire flock or he's helping them get exercise. Either way, you're going to laugh at him when he inevitably trips in the mud. Farm life is not for him but he's going to fight for it.

Can you imagine that? I don't know if Yatora would do that to you but... It's still funny.

[larcenywrites]

We usually talk about Tony not being fond of animals but... then there's Gerald and the chickens and god knows what else we see in Endgame. So I think that actually Tony would be the kind of person that would be like "I don't like animals, we're not getting a cat" and then you get a cat and now he and the cat are besties.

And one day he just shows up with his alpaca Gerald. And you're like "what is that? I send you to the farmer's market just for some apples and pumpkins, what the heck?". And he's like "uh... his name is Gerald. He was horribly abused and needs a loving home and look, he's so sweet 🥺🥺🥺 I couldn't leave him there, honey 🥺🥺🥺"

And now everytime you send Tony outside to weed your plants you catch him and Gerald munching on some veggies or fruits from the plants you have around the house 😌 we even wakes up early to go feed the chickens (and he's named some of them and everything). He's built like a dozen bird houses and loves watching them birdies. And once he showed up with a kitten inside his pocket and came in pulling it out of his pocket like "LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!! It's stinky and has fleas tho, we gotta clean him up 😬 can we name him Kenobi?"

You know that’s actually a good point! Later on when you’re both in all that space and start little projects like a vegetable garden, it may have been your idea to get some yard chickens, which maybe he wasn’t the fondest of the idea at first but fresh eggs are definitely the best and it also gives him more stuff to build 🤔

And now with all these chickens and vegetables and herbs everywhere there’s also rodents… and maybe you’re like “hey, a cat would help! As long as it doesn’t get in the hen house…” and again he’s like “ugh I guess you’re right…” and tbh after it comes up to him with a dead mouse he’s like wow amazing you’re the best cat :0 and maybe he also might want a cat that looked like his mom’s if we wanna hc that she had that fluffy ragdoll 🥺 I still don’t think he’d want like a dog tbh, unless the kids really really really begged for on or if a stray showed up and even though Tony was nervous about it and tried to shoo it away, maybe you secretly fed it 🤫 or maybe it was the kids sneaking scraps of food outside after lunch 😅 but like, he would literally gripe about that stray dog while putting flea medicine on it or hiding a heartworm pill in some treats 😭

And again, it’s not necessarily that he hates animals, he’s just unsure of them and nervous around most of them. But he does have a heart! And definitely a different outlook on all aspects of life in general, so that would play a part. Plus, it gives him something to do, and maybe somehow its more meaningful even than what he did?

And he’ll be so happy when like, the plants he watered and stuff actually live because back when he was much busier he tried to have plants and just couldn’t seem to keep them alive bc he would always forget to water them probably 🥺

[justmaghookit]

When it comes to the reptile trade it is always preferable to have a registered legal one than an underground illegal one. As it stands having set groups of breeders of Australian reptile species is preferable to having poachers come and take wild specimens to send overseas. And though I don't always agree with their practices, especially when it comes to breeding morphs and mutations, i would rather there be a healthy captive population to buy from.

When it comes to exotics, reptiles, fish and insects can be a grey area. Many of them do absolutely fine in captivity and can make novel and fascinating pets, but not everyone is cut out to take care of them.

I've literally spent upwards of 1000 bucks on my snakes enclosure so he will be comfortable and secure enough in my house. I do not take him out around my cats, and his enclosure is locked to prevent it being opened accidentally.

I carefully handled him from a neonate onwards to habituate him to humans and to my hands. He's not my friend though. I love him dearly but to him I am a big warm familiar moving thing that is a bringer of food. He does not fear me, but he does not seek contact like most domestic pets do. He tolerates my presence and my hands on his body, but he doesn't seek it like a domestic animal will.

My fish recognise my hands when I gently tap the glass to tell them its food time, but outside of that i am simply an interesting thing on the other side of the glass, they don't pay much attention to me if im not actively interacting with the tank(though some species of fish are personable, the ones I have are not) i carefully track the parameters of their water, I clean the filter and trim the plants, I keep an eye on the temperature. If I make a mistake it could hurt them badly. If you want to keep fish you need to be ready to work hard to learn how to keep a tank, and it can be a very rough leaning curve if you have no idea what you're doing at first.

To keep exotics you have to be passionate and you have to care and you ALSO have to know when you can't do something, when you can't give a species the care and respect it deserves, when you can't provide it the environment it needs to flourish. I would love to keep a betta fish, but I have never been able to get one to thrive, so I've decided they're not for me. If I cannot give an animal the utmost standard of care, I won't subject them to a substandard life.

So many people who own exotic pets either treat them like domestic species or just give them substandard care. This is especially prevalent with mammals and birds. They often have far more complex needs and many are not fit to meet them. There are reasons zookeepers do years of training to interact the animals they work with, and they constantly have to learn, research and adapt to new information.

Many current trendy exotic pets do not belong in your house, or your backyard, or your self styled rescue. Many of them shouldn't even be near humans outside of accredited wildlife workers and zoos.

Whenever you see a fancy looking animal like a fox, or a sugar glider, or a possum or an owl and yes parrots too. Ask yourself where did that animal come from, where is it now, are its social needs being met? Is its environmental needs being met? Is its nutrional needs being met? Is it being respected an a unique and complicated creature or is it being treated like someone's human child. Hell half the people who keep cats, dogs, chickens and pigeons can't even look after THEM correctly and those are all animals we've domesticated for thousands of years, what makes you think the person on instagram knows the exact needs of the few generations poached out of the wild Australian mammal theyre keeping for funnies?

[princessgemma12]

some great small-scale ways to enjoy our world, bodies and minds allowing:

touch plants. literally. just gently pet your mom's petunias, or the little shrub planted outside your workplace. Like a very small kitten--little pats and pets.

dirt! get it on your fingers. is your dog good with the boundaries of your yard? never had an issue with them trying to dig out but they like to dig in innane spots IN the yard? help them. Don't like dirt on your skin? use your shoe--I find it fairly easy to use just my toes and scoop like my puggy girl does. they'll love it and it's good into the ground sometimes.

Keep a potted plant to consolidate both of those. You can also get flowers, fruit, herbs, or maybe veggies down the line, which is like. the most primal "I did good" shot of dopamine I've ever had and it doesn't really "taper off" like other repetitive accomplishments do. Like, I have to revamp my writing process every few months because hitting my writing goal gets too easy and the dopamine hit just kinda... lessens because it's kinda the same thing over and over. It's not like that with gardening because you always have to put something new into it or observe a new development.

This is for those who are in more secure places in life, financially and their homed status, but small pets--cats, fish, toads, reptiles, gerbils, etc.--anything you can swing taking care of properly. Having something that really depends on you can also get you out of bed when nothing else will. ADOPT don't shop unless you have a reputable breeder and can't find the same breed already out there waiting for a family.

Do you have friends that live in a greener neighborhood, or even just their place is more environmentally rich? ask to help take care of their yardwork, hang out with their dog, chat while they garden, have a bbq, anything like that. you can double up on your socialization quota and your "ah, nature" quota.

watch a nature documentary or something like that "Oh, Baby!" show--something nice and chill that focuses on animals or plants or something. It doesn't need to be about climate change or activism--it can be--just about our world.

Learn how to bake with fruits. Learn how to make jams and jellies. Cook a meal that's mostly veggies, or mostly fruit. Veggie broth. If you enjoy animal-based foods, learn to make coffee creamer,* bone broth, perfect your chicken and beef stocks. Regardless of your diet, the foods you use, and what you do with them, all the wonderful meats, diary, plants, juices and coffees and teas, that we all have is because of the earth--sit with that for a while. If you're the type, maybe meditate on it, idk.

When you can, go for that hike, walk, or trip to the zoo/aquarium. Help your longer-distance friend rotate their crops or clean out the invasive plants in their yard. Go fruit picking or foraging--it doesn't matter if you need to be the designated basket holder, you're still there and you're still doing it. Ask a dear friend if you can just sit in their yard for a few hours and watch them play with their dog or kids.

Anything is better than nothing.

*A simple recipe: 1 cup whole cow's milk, 1/4 cup brown sugar, vanilla extract to taste. In a small pot (I use my stovetop carafe), add milk and sugar, simmer for approx. 30-40 minutes, stirring only to prevent sticking and burning on the bottom. It'll become a nice golden color and reduce to closer to 3/4 of a cup of liquid. It will be a thicker consistency. If a foam or film builds on top, gently scrape it away with a spoon and discard. When done, add vanilla to taste, allow to cool, and add to coffee. It's not as thick as store-bought, but most of single pot goes into 1 cup of coffee for me, but it mixes well. You could try it with different extracts, but I don't recommend the syrup flavors used for lattes.

Not to sound like a fuckin hippie but please for the love of god start noticing and appreciating the natural world around you. You don’t have to go hike the entire Appalachian trail or anything and I get that not everyone has access to the outdoors for various reasons, but just fucking … look around you when you’re outside. Notice the sky and the sun and the birds and creatures. Start caring about them. I’m begging you.

[victorluvsalice]

Welcome back to the Chill Valicer Save, everyone! When we left off, the trio had just hit Summer Monday, which I thought was a perfect day to spend selling things at their store --

-->But first – at the end of the last episode, Victor had just realized that holy SHIT did poor Shadow need a bath. XD So I had him take her upstairs to give her a scrub in the new fancy tub, while Alice (hanging out in Smiler’s room) got send to bed to top up her energy and Smiler finished upgrading their video production station with the “auto-update” upgrade that keeps it from breaking. Nice. :) They then studied the trends and discovered people were interested in tech reviews again, so I had them do a gadget review – and to my shock and amusement, the gadget they chose was what looked like an old early 2000s cellphone. You know, those “candybar” models that just had all the buttons and the little screen right on the front? Successor to the flip phone? That sort of thing. I promptly put “less of a review and more of a history lesson” in the description when they finished. XD

-->While that was happening, Victor finished up Shadow’s bath – and while I was clicking on her to see what I wanted to do next, I realized something: despite Shadow being an Adventurous dog, I had NEVER actually taken her on an adventure! And as Victor was feeling pretty darn good, I decided that 3:30 AM was a perfectly good time for them to dive down the rabbit hole. XD Literally – the “go on an adventure” option involves a Sim and their dog disappearing into a rabbit hole and having a little text adventure off-lot. Victor and Shadow thus headed down the front path, where – as per the pop-ups – they headed to Brindleton Bay and Whiskerman’s Wharf! Their adventure involved Victor and Shadow tracking an interesting scent past the still-hopping Salty Paws Saloon and along the edge of the harbor – only for the trail to go at an empty dock. Apparently whatever Shadow had sniffed out had already left on whatever boat had been moored there. Victor assured her it was all right, and when they got home, I had him give her a treat for being a good girl. :) It wasn’t anything spectacular, but hey – always good to engage with a part of the game I haven’t really messed around with before!

-->With the adventure over, though, it was time to start getting on with the business of the day! Victor went and hit the bathroom before going to tend his greenhouse (the new set of overgrown crops were looking VERY weedy), while Alice woke up, licked herself clean, then went out onto the front porch to call all their Free-Spirited cats home from their own adventures. And to finally take the cone off poor Surprise, who was probably sick of not being able to lick herself. :p She then set about cleaning the spoiled food out of the fridge and having a chat with Gino the MySim statue before getting herself a plate of berry waffles. Smiler, meanwhile, edited their “tech review” of the candybar phone, then went outside to feed the chickens and clean their coop –

[reinemichele]

Okay well um . I started writing this post and it started to get too long and go off topic so I'm going to put the more relevant info in this post and then finish typing the other post tomorrow probably and you can read that for more hashtag erin lore

Tw for discussion of animal death/illness, cancer, and (unintentional) disordered eating; no one is obligated to read this. It'll also probably get pretty long. Again, don't feel like you need to read this if these are upsetting topics for you

Uhhh how do I start this . Um, it's been a bad week. I don't think I've had a worse new years; even when my dad died it had been earlier in the year so we were more numb to the fact he wasn't there.

For the first few days I couldn't eat anything more than toast or crackers and I'd start crying when I tried to eat. I don't really know what the physiological connection is there, but I have to assume there is one. I was having to take my PRN anxiety meds multiple times a day because I was getting so upset I'd get nauseous and feel like I couldn't breathe.

I'm doing better now; today's the first day I felt like I wanted to eat willingly and not out of obligation, I haven't cried yet, and I haven't needed my anxiety meds.

But the day after my cat died, we found a tumor on my dog's stomach. It sounds like I'm making this up for attention on the internet, but it wasn't there before this day. Cosmic irony, god's ire, greek tragedy, etc etc.

My dog is 15, so all of us are against any surgery or chemotherapy, even if we could afford it. My mom works in hospice, so just take my word for it when I say all of us know how much pain and suffering and loss of quality of life that (invasive) surgery and chemotherapy causes for people.

So we just spent the day trying to keep her as comfortable as possible. We rearranged pillows and blankets, helped her move, tried offering her Literally every piece of food that was safe for dogs that we have (cat food, dog food, chicken, roast beef, turkey, ham, cheese, etc), sat down towels when she refused to go potty outside.

I made the decision to not talk about this on here for several reasons. I didn't want to contribute to people feeling sad or guilty over NYE, when there's already so many sources of despair and disillusionment in the world. I didn't want to receive pity; something I've hated feeling since my dad died when I was little. I didn't want empty platitudes of toxic positivity insisting that things would turn around and good things will start happening to me, and I didn't want to be the asshole who wasn't grateful for those empty platitudes. Most of all, I didn't want people to change how they treat/interact with me because they knew. I didn't want to be treated like I'm fragile or need special treatment. (If it needs saying, I still don't want to be treated like that.) I wanted to cry in my bedroom, and then reblog silly posts like nothing was wrong.

It's been a few days since the 30th, obviously. She's having less trouble walking, wags her tail when she sees us again, after a few (absolutely heartbreaking) days of not moving her tail at all. Her appetite is slowly coming back, she ate a little tuna and cat food.

But... the tumor has grown already, in just these few days, and she keeps licking at it, so it's sore and raw. My mom and brother don't want to put her to sleep because she's been improving. I obviously do not want to lose her; she's my baby and my sister and my mother all in one. She was the first pet we got that I picked out. When I leave the bathroom door open, she sits with her back facing the bathroom, guarding me.

But I don't want her to suffer. I don't want this to get worse. I want her to be able to go out with dignity and some quality of life. I don't want her to not have any quality of life left by the time we decide to stop being selfish and let her go.

Two of my friends sent me some money to help cover the cost of putting her to sleep. It was very very kind, and I can't put into words how much I'm grateful for my friends for every act of kindness and love they do for me.

I don't really know how to end this, because I still don't know what we're going to do. I know what I want to do, but it's not solely my decision and I want to respect my mom and brother's feelings. I just know that holding all this in and not talking about it was starting to be... Not Good, as much as I did want to just Be Another Random Guy on tumblr, being annoying about my hyperfixations.

If you've read any or all of this, thank you. Please don't treat me differently because of any of this, and let me post my silly little things like nothing's wrong. That's what's helped me keep it together.

Oh, and it's my birthday on the 10th. I don't want to get into it now (my birthday woes can be its own separate erin lore post too), but every year something bad happens around my birthday, so this is this year's Incident. The only socially acceptable thing I can think to say is a sarcastic yayyyyy consistency <3333.

[carolmunson]

past five. (slice of life, soft!eddie x badatfeelings!gf)

a/n: self serving. wanted to explore the dynamics of eddie being with someone who isn't very vulnerable. this is sort of shit, but whatever.

cw: 18+ minors dni, no smut but whatever, drinking, all around mention of feelings. not from a 'you' perspective. i literally don't even say the name 'eddie' in this fic lmao.

It was hard for him, months turning to years of 'look but don't touch'. She wasn't always like this, she used to ease into his touch, his hugs, the way he'd hold her at night. She would always put her hand in his when he reached for it. It was always when he wanted to do it the most that she just couldn't stand it. She'd recoil. She'd tense. Back arched in the reverse, like the stray cats fighting at night outside of Wayne's trailer. Sometimes he wondered when she'd start hissing.

He knew now, to go slow. She wasn't touchy anymore. Maybe it's something that changed over time. He savored the moments when she'd reach for him, when she finally felt vulnerable enough to let him hold her. She didn't like to be babied, but all he ever wanted to do was baby her. "Hey, you," he said softly, shutting the door to her apartment quietly behind him, "Bad day?"

"It's fine," she shook her head, opening in the cabinets in the kitchen. Two wine glasses make their way delicately to the counter in her hands. "Didn't sound fine when you called me," he tilted his head knowingly, putting a bottle of red and white wine on the small kitchen table. He took off his jacket, placing it neatly on one of the mismatched dining chairs she kept around the table. He remembered every yardsale he bought them from to surprise her.

"You feeling okay?" he asked and noticed her jaw tick. She hates that question. Of course she's not feeling okay, she wouldn't have begged him to come over if she was feeling okay.

"I'm great," she gave him a smile but her eyes betrayed her. She's not great. He fishes his swiss army knife out of his back pocket and flicks out the wine key with his thumb. "It's already chilled, baby," he mumbles while she reaches for the white. His own back muscles tensed at the action, she always assumed he didn't think ahead the way she did. She taught him how to think like that. He liked learning how to keep up with her.

"Oh," she pulled her hand back when she saw the condensation on the bottle. He opens both, red for him, white for her. Black and white. Sweet and sour. Dog and cat. Bat out of hell, bat who rules it. She might as well be the one in the leather jacket. She reached for the bottles again but he immediately swats her hand away, "Let me do it, please."

His voice isn't gentle. He stopped suggesting to help her a long time ago when he realized she was never going to let him. Now he just does it without asking. He moves her hands away. He pulls her away from something at the hips. He watches her struggle with his arms crossed until she gives in and lets him do it. She doesn't need kid gloves, but he likes that about her. He just wishes he knew where that came from.

"Can I have a kiss, first?" he asked when she reached for the now full glass of wine in his hand. She nods, leaning forward to press a peck to his lips. He wanted more, but it'll do. It's something. His finger toyed with the edging of the plastic wrap on the chicken on the counter, "I can make dinner, you should go relax." "I just took that out, it needs a little time," she sipped her wine while she spoke, "I'll just make dinner later."

He sighed. A deep one. She won't make dinner. She'll forget it's out here and then it'll go bad.

"What're you in the mood for?" he asked while putting the chicken in the freezer, "Chinese? Pizza?" "Indian," she murmured while she walked into the small living room, separated from the kitchen by a half wall. He searched for the menu to her favorite place in the junk drawer next to the fridge, both of their orders already circled and ready to go.

"No, no, you don't have to," she called out when he took the phone off the receiver in the kitchen.

"I want to," he smiled at her, "Let me get you what you want."

He orders, she feels anxious about it even though this is what she craves from him. He knows that. He knows that she'll just say it's because she doesn't like to not be in control. But he bets it's that she's nervous he'll think that she's needy. He wishes she was. He hung up the phone, grabbed his own glass of wine and met her in the living room.

He eyed her cautiously when he sat down next to her, waiting to see her shoulders raise, a shift in her body weight. Sometimes she’d just get up. Not skittish, but wanting to be alone without him leaving the room. He silently smiled when she stayed where she was.

“You look pretty,” he whispered, letting his finger run over her cable-knit sweatered shoulder, “Red always looks nice on you.”

“Thanks, honey,” she mumbled weakly, another sip of wine drowned the word.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked, skating his fingers through her hair. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment and he couldn’t hold back a blush. Always going slow, easing her into it, like taming a feral kitten.

“Not really,” she shook her head again, swallowing hard. Always no. Always not really.

“Okay,” he responded gently, his fingertips grazed her scalp again, “That’s okay. I’m here if you want to.”

“Can you keep doing that?”

“Doing what, baby?” he knew the answer, but he wanted to get her more comfortable with asking for what she needed.

“Playing with my hair,” she reached for his hand and he obliged her, running his fingers over her temple and back to the base of her neck.

“Why don’t you sit in front of me and I’ll play with it until the food comes,” he smiled while she moved between his legs on the ground. She always talks about how she loves when her niece plays ‘hair salon’ with her, even though she’s not the most gentle hair stylist — she’s only six, afterall.

He put his glass on the side table, fingers gliding from her hairline to her crown. Parting, un-parting, messy braids, scalp scratches. Her eyes were closed now, shoulders relaxed.

“You falling asleep on me?” he giggled.

“It’s just nice,” she murmured in reply. He leaned forward, tilting her head back to press a kiss to her forehead.

“I love you,” he said into her skin, “I’m sorry you had such a bad day, sweet heart.”

“Getting better,” she hummed, “A little.”

if you enjoyed this, read more badatfeelings!gf: here

[i-cant-sing]

ok but imagine baby fushiguro bringing a stray cat/dog that she found while running from naoya and the servants back to the zenin estate💀

i want to know the zenin's reaction

Considering its baby Fushiguro we're talking about, she's obviously gonna get a pet that's as chaotic as her.

Naoya is just sitting in his room when he hears commotion outside. And he goes to check it out, not surprised that it was you causing the noise as the servants chased after you- but he was surprised to see you chasing someone too- a cat.

And not just any cat, no no. It's a cat, with no front legs and part of its ear clipped, and somehow this cat is still managing to run quite fast. But not faster than you, and soon you caught the cat, giggling as it struggled in your arms. The servants literally drop to their knees and beg you to let the poor animal go because they cant risk you getting bitten or scratched by a stray animal.

But you'd just shake your head and tell them that this cat is now family and your baby and your best friend and they will treat him with respect, making them all gasp in fright as you kiss the dirty ass cat on its head, the feline finally giving up and settling in your arms.

"Mistress Y/n, please let the dirty cat go-"

"No." Snuggling the cat to your chest. "And you will call him Master... Cat... Baby? Master Cat Baby!"

Then Naoya walks over and tells you that no, you cant keep the stray animal. But then you pulled the "But I'm all lonely when you're gone Uncle Naoya 🥺 And I miss you so much and- and if we keep Master Cat Baby, I won't be so lonely then. Please, please, Uncle Naoya. Or do you think I an... what's the word you called me? An... open? Or-phan? Orphan! Do you think I an orphan doesn't deserve good things? Its okay, if you think so Uncle Naoya... 😔"

Boy, Naoya is on the verge of tears as he picks you up (along with the cat that you're holding) and just hugs you and says "Oh fine, you child of poverty- you can keep it. *sniffles* I'm nothing if not generous." And then kisses your cheek and goes to pet the cat, but the stray scratches up his face, making you drop the cat and it runs away again.

You love the cat so much, you take it everywhere with you. In the baths, to the bed (where you make Naoya tuck you both under the covers) and even to the table where you feed it your chicken legs when you're not hungry. You even push the cat into Naoya's face, force him to kiss the cat goodnight like he did with you.

Naoya allows you to keep the cat, so long as it doesn't hurt you. So when the cat scratches you, you better hide them or else Naoya is gonna kick the stray out.

I feel like that whenever Toji visits his daughter, he brings her gifts from around the world. So, one day he brings baby Fushiguro a Akita Inu- a dog that grows into a bear. Anyways, he's actually happy with his gift because not only do you love it, but the dog also ends up being very protective of you.

Its so fun to have a dog thats thrice you size, and perhaps for a change, its you who have to chase after the servants- after your dog more specifically, who is chasing after them.

You already know Toji is trying to muffle his laughter when you call him and tell him how the dog bit Naoya's ass.

Gojo once walked in on you absolutely bawling and sobbing in Sukuna's arms, hitting his chest for trying to eat the cow you somehow managed to bring inside your room. Sukuna apologised and is trying to console you, but in his defense, he didn't know the cow was your best friend- honestly, thought that was gift you brought for him to eat.

Everyone is still baffled how you managed to sneak a tiger cub home when Nanami took you to the zoo one day. And when he woke up in the middle of the night to hear you talking to someone, and he walked into your room to find you holding the cub's mouth open as you used your Hello Kitty toothbrush to clean its very sharp teeth. Nanami, of course, instinctively yells at you to back away, startling both you and the cub.

Once he had put the cub in a cage, he broke your heart by telling you that you cant keep it.

You hiccuped. "But- but you said that Princess Jasmine had a tiger pet! Why cant I- I keep one?" Damn, Nanami hates himself for reading you the damn Disney stories before bed.

"How about a fish? Like Ariel. Or a chameleon? Like Rapunzel? They're princesses too, hm? Anything but a tiger."

"Anything?" You asked, wiping your tears.

He nodded.

"Well, I liked the movie we watched last night." Oh no.

"Lion King!"

[whycraft]

Michael

AO3

[Ranboo whispers to you: do you have any spare blankets]

[You whisper to Ranboo: yeah why]

[Ranboo whispers to you: michael’s cold]

“Michael?” Technoblade muttered to himself. Probably another cat or something.

[You whisper to Ranboo: you want to come get them or do you need me to go over there]

[Ranboo whispers to you: can you come over here if it’s not too much trouble]

[You whisper to Ranboo: omw]

Techno grabbed a few blankets from the linen closet, one thick woolen one and some thinner ones. It was snowing lightly, so he stuffed them under his cloak as best he could and went over to Ranboo’s house.

He only had to wait a few moments after knocking before Ranboo opened the door. “Techno! Come in.”

Techno crossed the threshold and held out the blankets. “Hey, Ranboo.”

Ranboo took them dusted off the bit of snow that had managed to get on them. “Thanks, these are perfect. Do you want to come meet Michael?”

“Sure.”

Techno followed Ranboo to a pile of blankets next to the fire. Then the pile of blankets shifted, and Techno realised there was something alive under the blankets.

“Is that a baby piglin?”

“Zombie piglin, yeah. This is Michael.” Ranboo sat on the floor next to the piglin and wrapped another blanket around him. It snuggled into his side.

Techno hesitantly lowered himself to the floor as well. “Where… why do you have a baby zombie piglin in your house?”

“I found him alone in the Nether the first day I joined,” Ranboo explained. “I’ve been trying to gain his trust ever since then, and a couple days ago me and T—me and… Enderchest convinced him to come through the portal with us.”

“He must really trust you,” Techno mused. He leaned to the side a bit to see Michael’s face. “Hi,” he grunted in piglin, but Michael just watched him suspiciously. 

He turned back to Ranboo. “Was he already zombified when you brought him?”

Ranboo looked affronted. “Of course. He hasn’t been doing too well with the cold, though, which is why I asked for the blankets.”

Techno grunted. Zombified for a few months, then. “Are you going to try to cure him?”

“Wh—you can cure zombie piglins?”

Techno raised his eyebrows. “Well, I’m in the Overworld and I’m not zombified, now am I?”

“I thought you were just able to be here because you were a hybrid,” Ranboo admitted.

“No, I’m not human at all. It’s not common knowledge, to be fair. Most piglins don’t know it’s possible because potion brewing isn’t usually something they practice.”

“What potions does it need?”

“Just harming and healing. And a golden apple. It gets harder to cure the longer they stay zombified, though.” He eyed the side of Michael’s head that was completely rotted away, showing his skull underneath. “If you try to heal him now, he almost definitely won’t grow his other ear back, and he probably won’t get a lot of vision back in his other eye. And it would be a very painful process.”

Ranboo curled one hand against the side of Michael’s head. “What would happen if we didn’t try to cure him?”

Techno hesitated, trying to figure out a not incredibly blunt way to say it. “He probably won’t make it to adulthood.”

Ranboo’s hand twitched. “How—how soon—”

“A year? Maybe.”

“What are… what are the risks with curing him, besides the pain?”

“There’s a chance—a very small chance—that he might not survive. I’m talking, like, one in a thousand, given we do everything right. Aside from that, he would need to be kept very warm, so you might have to take him back to the Nether during the process.”

“How long would it take for him to heal?”

“With as far along as he is? At least a week, no more than two.”

“That’s it?”

Techno shrugged. “Part of the reason it’s so painful is because of how fast the regeneration process is.”

“I… I’ll have to think about it.”

“Don’t rush yourself. But it’s probably best to decide within the month.”

“Okay,” Ranboo said, and changed the subject. Techno let it slide. “Any tips for raising a piglin?”

“Phil probably knows better than I do,” he admitted. “Uh… don’t feed him a lot of meat or salt. If he tries to chew on gold, it’s bad for his teeth but he’ll actually bite your hand off if you try to take it away, so just distract him with something else or wait til he’s bored of it.”

“Noted.”

“Oh—get him something to carry around, if you can. A comfort object or something.”

“I was thinking about making a chicken plushie for him! He had this chicken he found in the Nether that he really liked.”

“You want a chicken?” Techno asked Michael in piglin.

Michael watched him suspiciously, but nodded.

Ranboo brightened. “Wait, can you talk to him?”

“He probably won’t talk back, but yeah.”

“Why won’t he talk back?”

“He doesn’t know me. Piglins tend to be pretty suspicious of outsiders, especially non-piglins. Also, his vocal cords are probably rotted to some extent.”

Ranboo looked down at Michael. “He trusts me that much?”

“He was entirely alone and you spent literal months gaining his trust. I can’t say I’m too surprised. Once he realises that me and you are friends, he’ll probably warm right up to me. Piglets are like that.”

“Like what? Friendly?”

Techno nodded. “Clingy.”

Ranboo rubbed behind Michael’s ear and he snorted happily, pressing into it.

Techno stood up. “If he’s still cold, let me know and we’ll get some of the dogs to sit with him.”

“Thanks again for the blankets.”

“Course.”

He went back to his cabin, hanging up his cape on the hook by the door. He stretched out on the couch and texted Philza.

[You whisper to Ph1lzA: Ranboo just found a baby piglin and he’s keeping it]

[Ph1lzA whispers to you: OMG]

[Ph1lzA whispers to you: pictures please]

[You whisper to Ph1lzA: I don’t have any yet]

[Ph1lzA whispers to you: booo. I guess I’ll just have to wait a few days]

[You whisper to Ph1lzA: is that when you’ll get back?]

[Ph1lzA whispers to you: yep]

[Ph1lzA whispers to you: I’ll get out your baby photos and we can compare]

[You whisper to Ph1lzA: do not]

[Ph1lzA whispers to you: omegalul]