#and they especially resent when he is obviously going out of his way to be gentle with them or sweet to them. first of all because they hat

[mahmahmahmysharona]

When you don't know why Bob doesn't like you, but a relapse forces you to find out.

(Bob Reynolds x Avenger Reader) Part 1/?

You don't think Bob likes you very much. Especially when the situation goes from being a ragtag group of underdogs to a fully blown Avengers Avengerz(!)-living-together-in-the-tower deal.

In fact, maybe he just doesn't think much about you at all. He's quiet, shy even, with most of the team, but on the rare occasions he contributes more than a mere small smile, you're the last person he's talking to.

It doesn't bother you much. So what if Yelena is his keeper, making sure he's alright and keeping a tactful eye on him? Obviously he'd be more open with her. But still, you wonder if you ever said something wrong, or were too harsh on him when you all first met. (Hell, he'd even rather talk to Walker than you, it seems.)

Okay, maybe it bothers you more than you'll admit.

You've never been one to make friends easily, but when you can't even win the affections of someone who literally has the living embodiment of guilt and resentment fighting for dominance inside of him, then there must be something wrong with you.

But you get on with life. The new version of it, anyway. You train, you go on missions, you sleep, and you do it all again. Occasionally, the team starts to develop into something more important to you. They have your back, and you have theirs.

Still, even with all this, Bob doesn't bite. Not when you offer him coffee, not when you ask him about what book he's reading, and not even when you try to crack jokes about the team's questionable public branding.

So you give up. You keep your head down. But then one day, Yelena asks you to hang back from a mission to keep an eye on Bob, who seems to be in his head more than usual.

"Maybe it'll be good for you two," she says, not unsubtly. "Get to know each other a little."

Great. Now you know everyone has noticed the rift between you.

You stay out of his way, poking your head around the corner ever now and again, catching him sitting in front of the window and looking out at the sky. You know better than to ask him if he's okay, so you stay hidden.

Except one time you look out, expecting to see him there, and he's gone. Shit. You've lost the biggest asset and most dangerous weapon in New York.

You quickly head to his room, certain he's fine, but not wanting to be responsible if he's not.

When you get there, the door is partially open, and you gently push it the rest of the way. The lights are out. You look around, and your heart stops when you see a shadow sitting on the bed. A black silhouette, sitting very still. Your head suddenly fills with memories of that day, when you were forced to relive the most horrific snapshots of your past: revisiting some of your most terrible deeds — ones that you can't outrun, even in your sleep, even now. It’s torture without the pain.

Without thinking, you reach back and pull out your gun, pointing it at the shape. Your hands are steady, but only just. You know from experience bullets will do nothing to stop The Void, but if the team comes back and finds your shadow burned into the ground, you at least want them to know that you fucking tried.

As soon as you do, the shadow moves. "Woah, woah," it says. "It's me." It reaches over and switches on the bedside lamp, illuminating the room in a relieving warm glow. It's just Bob, sitting on his bed, looking rightly panicked.

You immediately stand down, hooking your gun back into place. Your heart is still pounding. "Bob. You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were..." Then you immediately feel bad.

"Sorry," he says. "I just wanted to sit in the dark for a while. I should have thought--"

"No, don't apologize."

When you ask him what’s wrong, he’s cagey. You’ve done this dance before — trying to talk to him and getting little in return. He’s okay, you’re okay, so you give a small grunt and decide to leave.

But he stops you, a guilty look on his face. Finally, he explains. He always feels this way when the team leaves for missions, knowing how dangerous he is but hating knowing everyone is in danger. He wants to help, but has no idea how to harness his powers beyond simply controlling them. He looks up at you, suddenly quieter (if that’s even possible) and says that today feels even worse, because the one person who likes him the least is stuck babysitting him.

“Hold on,” you say. “What do you mean?”

Then it all comes pouring out. Bob thinks you hate him. You think Bob hates you. Neither of you hate each other. The realisation makes you laugh, hard. He doesn’t quite get there, but he does crack a confused smile.

Evidently, your resting bitch face paired with his natural shyness has caused a stalemate.

“Bob, I’ve wanted to be your friend this whole time,” you say, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I just stopped trying because you seemed…I don’t know, scared of me or something.”

“I think I am, just a little.”

“Don’t you have the power of a hundred suns or something?”

“A million exploding suns,” he says casually, shrugging. You don’t really know what to say to that until he cracks a smile, and you realise the only response is another laugh.

“Okay, well, for clarity’s sake, can we be friends now?”

“Yeah, of course,” he says. Emboldened, he holds out his hand. You look at it, remembering what happened the last time you accidentally grabbed his hand a year ago in that damn incinerator. (A trip into the "Void Rooms", even when brief, isn't good.) Your recollection must register on your face, because you see his smile drop. He pulls his hand back, but you know that in order for this to work, he has to trust you. And you have to trust him.

You reach out and grab his hand, gripping it firm in yours, shaking it as he wanted you to. Between your fingers, something is happening. There’s an invisible charge. Can he feel it? You shake it off.

“For what it’s worth,” you tell him. “I don’t see you as a burden. Nobody else around here does, either. I think we need you as much as you need us. And don’t be scared of me, because I’m not scared of you.”

That seems to unlock something in him. His shoulders drop, his chest expands and releases with a loaded, relieved breath, and his hand quickly relaxes in yours.

“Well…” he tears his eyes away from your hands, looking back up at you. “…That’s another person I can add to my very small list.” Another thought crosses his mind, causing the smile to fade.

"What would you have done?" he asks. "If it hadn't been me in here? If it had been...the other me? If I'd dragged you back into that place?"

You feel your fingers flex in your palm by your side. You'd go down fighting, is what would really happen. But you can't say that. You have to say something else: something not as desperate but equally true.

"I would have found you," you tell him. "I would have torn through every memory to find you, Bob. And we'd get out of there, just like we did before. Together."

His brow creases, watching you, ringing his hands, torn by some internal conflict you'll never fully understand. But he does soften still, giving you a grateful nod.

You leave him then, giving him the space he obviously wants. But what you don’t know is that he doesn’t want you to leave. He wants to talk to you, to catch up on getting to know you. There’s so much he missed out on, because he’s stupid, and now he wants to do everything he can to make up for it.

What you also don’t know is that, despite being relieved that you two can now be friends, is that soon, there’ll be a whole new problem.

Soon, just being friends won’t be nearly enough for either of you.

Part 2 (aka: When you realize you're falling in love with Bob, and it sucks.)

[yasministration]

(Not so) Friendly competition - Regulus Black

summary: Sirius asks out Reggie's best friend, and he is so bothered by it that he has to finally tell her how he feels. wc: 2.1k+

When Regulus saw Sirius leaning against the wall with his signature flirty smile right outside your transfigurations class, he literally felt his blood boil. You were holding your books close to your chest, laughing at something the older Black brother said. Regulus  felt his jaw clench, a resenting glare on his face. He had sped walked all the way from his History of Magic class so he could walk with you down to potions, like he did every single week, only to find you with the one person he avoided at all cost.

Regulus didn’t understand why Sirius was speaking to you, and especially not why he was flirting with you. You were Regulus’s best friend, and everyone in this castle knew that, so why would Sirius deliberately cross paths with Regulus just to speak to you, when he could have any other girl in the castle? Regulus tried resting his face, though he found it to be a lot harder than expected. Instead, he puffed his chest out, confidently strolling over to where you stood with his brother. He intentionally avoided looking at Sirius while saying “Hey. You ready to go?” You smiled widely at Regulus’s presence, a relieved look on your face. You shifted your books to one arm, using your now free hand to slither down to Regulus’s hand, intertwining your fingers with his. You noted the way his face instantly softened, and you were sure Sirius did too. You turned to the older brother, smiling gently at him before letting Regulus drag you away from him.

Sirius watched your retreating form, sighing when Remus pushed himself off the wall behind him, commenting “Well that didn’t go too well, did it?” Sirius scoffed, turning to face his friends “She only pretended not to be interested because of Regulus. You can tell she wanted to smile.” Remus and James just stared back at Sirius unconvincingly. “Like, really smile.” He didn’t know when his affection for you started, but he never missed a shot at someone he liked. Even if you were his brother’s best friend, and perhaps crush. His brother, whose relationship with has deteriorated to almost nothing since he left the household. Behind him, Remus shot James a concerned look, before saying “Sirius, she held his hand!”

You were slightly concerned about Regulus, and his silence as he walked with you to class. You rubbed your thumb in circles on the soft skin of Regulus’s hand, hoping to slightly calm him down. Regulus was quiet all throughout your class, though you felt his eyes on you while you were taking notes down. His eyes bored into your side, as though trying to read your mind. He didn’t take the lead when you were brewing your potion together, which was unusual for him. He listened to you read out the instructions, and more than once asked you to repeat yourself due to his lack of attention. He just had so many questions. At the end of class, Regulus didn’t even realise class was over until you stood up, packing your things away, and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. Regulus jumped up, scurrying to follow you out of the potions classroom, just a few minutes from the common room.

He followed you through the hallways and into the open portrait to the common room, sitting down next to you on the leather couch in front of the fireplace. Regulus felt your hesitation, mouth opening and closing before you finally asked “Everything okay?” Which triggered Regulus’s string of questions. “Why was Sirius talking to you? Was he flirting with you? No, why was he flirting with you? Did he want anything from you?” You put your hand over his, debating on whether you should tell him the truth or not.

Sirius was walking with Remus and James, debriefing the result of their most recent prank when he caught sight of you walking out of your lesson. He fixed his posture, calling out “Hey y/n!” You were obviously surprised by the call of your name from the boy, a look of confusion overtaking your features. You seriously considered ducking your head down and walking past the Black brother, but he already managed to strut over to you, leaning his side on the wall right in front of you. You blinked a couple of times, muttering “Black.” The boy had ran his eyes over your body, biting his bottom lip softly as he landed his gaze on your eyes. You had furrowed your eyebrows, glancing behind him towards Lupin and Potter, who were intently staring at your interaction. “Hey, you should hang out with us. We’d definitely appreciate someone with your beauty and presence. And, well, we’d be way better company than Regulus and your group of little Slytherin friends.”

Well, he definitely fumbled that one, he realised, by the way your eyebrows raised, face sporting an unimpressed look. “Because there’s nothing a girl appreciates more than someone insulting her friends.” Sirius raised his hands in surrender, adding “That came out wrong. Look, I think you're amazing. Would you go out with me?” You laughed in shock, eyes lighting up with amusement. You looked to your side, expecting a friend beside you so you could immediately make fun of the situation, but instead, you spotted Regulus on the other side of the room, glaring at the both of you. You looked back at Sirius and cocked your head to the side, a smile on your face. “No. I don’t think I will.” Sirius’s face fell, and he straightened up insecurely. “No?” You hummed, glancing to your side just in time for Regulus to pop up next to you. Oh thank goodness, you sighed.

“I don’t know why he was flirting with me.” You answered, and you saw Regulus’s jaw clench at your response. “I mean, well.” You inhaled sharply and smiled softly, trying not to overshare, but Regulus had already caught the fact that you were hiding something. “Well?” You pouted, lifting up Regulus’s hand and lacing your fingers through his. “Don’t get mad.” You pleaded, before adding “He asked me out.” You could see the redness travel up Regulus’s neck in anger. “I said no.” you whispered, hoping it would make him feel better. You cupped his jaw, watching closely as he placed a hand over yours on his face, shutting his eyes and inhaling deeply. Regulus moved his head away from your hand slightly, just so he had enough space to press a kiss on your palm. You felt your cheeks heat up, leaning closer to Regulus and brushing a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to get angry. He just, he makes me mad. I don’t get why he’d ask you out. Even if he liked you!” He raised his voice, hands raised in confusion, before slumping back against the couch. “Even if he does like you, I don’t know why he would try to steal you from me when he can have anyone else.” You leaned forward, moving a strand of hair from Regulus’s face to press a kiss on his forehead. “He couldn’t steal me from you if he tried, Reg.” You reassured him, straightening up on the couch and opening a textbook in front of you.

Regulus observed you while you started up on your pre-reading for your next lesson, waiting until you were engrossed in the textbook, lifting up your wand to practice a spell, before he began his journey up to the Gryffindor common room. It wasn’t long until he finally reached the Fat Lady’s portrait, his fury allowing his legs to carry him at a faster pace than usual. But to be fair, nothing seemed usual about today. He waited in front of the portrait until a group of young boys finally walked up to the common room. “Hey!” Regulus snapped, catching the entire groups attention. “You,” He started, nodding at the boy at the front of the group. “Get me Sirius Black.” The poor boy frantically nodded, muttering the password to the common room before running through the big gap in the portrait.

It didn’t take long for Sirius to appear, a cocky smile on his face as he took in the view of his younger brother. “Regulus Black.” He greeted, opening his arms in welcome. Regulus trudged towards him, grabbing his older brother by the collar and pushing him back against the wall, seething “What the fuck is your problem?” Sirius threw his hands up in surrender, saying “Hey, calm down.” “Calm down!? You decide to ask out my best friend after not even speaking to me for five years, and you want me to calm down?”

“Mate, she literally laughed in my face when I asked her out, so yeah, I’d expect you to be calm.” Regulus loosened his grip on Sirius’s collar at the new information, but tightened it once more when he remembered why he was there. “That doesn’t fucking matter. You made the decision to walk out of my life, so stick with it. Stay away from my friends and stop fucking with my life.” Regulus spat, pushing Sirius into the wall as he let go of him, turning away from him and beginning his route to the common room.

When Regulus finally returned to the common room, he didn’t find you in your spot on the couch, and your things were gone. Regulus sighed, running his hands over his hair and making his way to his dorm. When he turned the knob to his dorm, pushing the door open, his eyes widened, finding you sat on his bed with your legs crossed. He says your name once, watching you watch him. “I heard something interesting.” You mumbled, standing up. Regulus’s eyes widened, and he immediately cursed whatever power allowed gossip at Hogwarts to travel faster than he could. “Did you?” He asked, his breath trembling. “Regulus, did you seriously wait for me to start studying to go yell at your brother? You know I would’ve loved to come with you.” Regulus laughed in nervous relief, dropping his head down to look at the floor. “Tell me what’s really wrong.” You whispered, taking both his hands in yours. Regulus took a step toward you, close enough to rest his forehead against yours, and he shyly mumbled “I like you.” You stepped away from Regulus, looking at him with an amused smile.

“Regulus, you think I don’t know that?” The boy’s cheeks flushed at the revelation, his face turning rosy. “I know you like me. I’m just more disappointed that you don’t know I like you too.” Regulus’s head shot up, his eyes wide. “For fuck’s sake, Reg. I thought you were upset for some other reason, not because you like me. That’s, that’s-” Regulus cut you off “So you’ve known I like you, and you like me back, and you haven’t done anything about it?” Your eyes softened, and you almost looked at him with pity. “I thought you knew too.” Regulus let go of both your hands, cupping your jaw, eyes slipping from your eyes to your lips. “Well since I know now.” He mumbled, and you trailed your hands up to his chest as he began to lean in. When your lips finally connected, you felt a surge of passion flow between you. Regulus slid his tongue into your mouth, and one of your hands fell from his chest so you could hook a finger in his belt hoop and pull him closer to you. Regulus’s lips separated from yours with a loud squelching sound, and you immediately burst into a fit of giggles that had Regulus blushing deeply, and mumbling “What?” Though he had a matching smile on his face, and was pulling you even closer to him by his grip on your waist. He pecked your smiling lips, and you chased his kiss, throwing your arms over his shoulders to pull him closer.

A few days later, when Sirius was making his way to his Potions lesson, he turned the hallway to find your back pressed against the wall, passionately making out with his younger brother who has his hips pressed against yours, arms locking you between him and the wall. Your hands were cupping Regulus’s jaw, lips melding with his. Sirius abruptly stopped in his tracks, and he huffed silently, looking away with disgust when he caught a glimpse of your tongues moving against each other. Sirius put his head down, walking past you both, and it was only then that Regulus separated from you, a knowing smile on his face.

[somewhereincairparavel]

Annabeth Chase and Jason Grace - two sides of the same coin, an analysis post.

after a long wait, I've finally posted my analysis on jason/annabeth being similar, and mirroring eachother as rivals/potential sibling figures more than percy/jason's 'bro rivalry', based on this post of mine which has crossed over a THOUSAND notes in the last week alone, and I've been getting so many reblogs and comments asking me to expand on my tags in that post and do a full analysis. so here it is. I've been procrastinating this for quite a while now for some reason but I'm glad I'm over my writer's block and I got to articulate my post well enough.

annabeth and jason have had very minor interactions throughout hoo, but the parallels and similarities in their character is jarringly noticeable, which is why I hoped for a jason/annabeth rivalry and not a percy/jason rivalry. they've both been raised at their respective camps since they were literal kids, they were well versed in their respective fields of knowledge, and were well respected/intimidated in their camps.

let's start off with the lost hero

when jason first meets annabeth, he says that her eyes were really intimidating and fierce, so right off the bat, we have jason who's pretty put off by annabeth because she very obviously looked angry, especially since she was frustrated about jason's arrival instead of percy, and looked like she could kill jason to get percy back.

-----------------------------------------------

this parallels to a lot when hazel kept going on about how difficult it was to warm up to jason because his eyes were always calculating and cold, and he gave off an untrustworthy vibe, that he'd sacrifice anyone for the sake of the mission.

both annabeth and jason have a certain similar ‘look’ in their eyes, which have nothing to do with the color. they both have the tendency to make people nervous simply with their eyes, because they always look like they're thinking of new things every few seconds. Ironically, jason first perceived annabeth, the way everyone else perceived him. scary and intimidating with an icy glare and hardened eyes.

They were both said to be ‘studying’ each other in distrust many times throughout. A part of why they didn't trust each other, was, in my opinion, because they embodied their least favorite shared personality trait of each other, secretiveness and guardedness. which is why annabeth got on so well with percy, and jason with leo/piper.

they didn't admire the closed off-ish vibe that they gave eachother. they both needed people who were open and carefree.annabeth said that jason looked like he knew too much information, but chose to keep it all a secret, very similar to her own guardedness from time to time, keeping it a secret and wanting to deal with it silently.

we also know that annabeth and jason are extremely knowledgeable in greek/roman mythology, they both love debates and were quite passionate about history. they were both assigned architecture projects by the gods themselves as a mark of honor and favour.

moving on to the next most important point, they reminded eachother of the people they missed, causing them to feel resentful.

jason, barely met his sister after they reunited. he was bitter when thalia said he had to go look for percy to help out annabeth with the search. he was aware that thalia and annabeth were childhood friends, getting closer to eachother than jason and thalia ever did. she found a home in luke and annabeth, not even a few months after baby jason was thought to be ‘dead’, that knowledge would've weighed a lot on jason. annabeth became the sibling to thalia grace that jason could never be.

while annabeth? the only thing annabeth thought of, after jason had a face off with his mother's remnant in boo, was the fact that jason, who looks eerily similar to luke, could've experienced the exact same fate as him. luke was jason if he had more wrath and held grudges, jason was luke if he had less anger and resentment. annabeth could connect the dots so easily, and that was truly the moment where she gained immense respect for him.

and, when jason told annabeth that his sister was thalia? she had a very odd sort of expression on her face.

annabeth also quotes that looking at jason made her feel bitter, because he reminded her of heras exchange, and the fact that she lost percy for months. whenever she looked at jason, she would only see her two childhood friends, a found family that was broken, and a love that was challenged.

whenever jason looked at annabeth, he would be reminded that thalia had a closer contact to her than she did jason, and had to accept that he would never know thalia as much as annabeth does.

annabeth and jason also appear very confident and sure of themselves, but have second thoughts all the time. they had to put on a fake facade, to live up to their expectations and lineage.

they were both also sort of people pleasers, annabeth couldn't really say no to anyone who asked her for help with things, like carrying the sky for luke especially, because not only where they giving her a chance to execute her knowledge and skill, the thought of helping someone made her genuinely happy. jason also loved seeing people happy, always wanting to say the right thing to satisfy someone, even if it meant he had to sacrifice his own struggles to help them.

fatal flaws:

annabeth’s fatal flaw, is hubris. when you are confident and sure that you can do something, and have a sense of excessive self pride.

and jason's fatal flaw is the temptation to deliberate. hesitation and second guessing, to put it in simpler words.both fatal flaws are so different, yet so similar, and they have both flaws, just in a different viewpoint.

as a child of athena, annabeth appears super confident and even conceding at times because of her wisdom, but at the same time, annabeth had to make sure she was one step ahead of everyone. she had to rethink everything and had to have a plan in her mind all the time, fearing that things wouldn't go smoothly.

she had to hesitate and second guess herself alot, despite her knowledge, like she did when she knew she had to look for the mark of athena. piper and percy had to boost up her confidence with affirmations, to let her know she's on the right path and to just follow her gut. annabeth feels obligated to have a temptation to deliberate, because, as a child of athena, she has to be all knowing and wise, and most definitely cannot fail her mother.

and jason? despite having a very low sense of self esteem and hesitation, he was so used to leading the people who were considered slightly inferior to him in camp jupiter, and basically getting treated like a celebrity for 12 years of his life in camp jupiter, that often, he thought what he did was right, he had his own perception of what a hero should be, and I quote

[“No, no,” Jason said. “I made my choice. You’re not to blame. You don’t owe me anything except to remember what I said. Remember what’s important.” “You’re important,” I said. “Your life!”Jason tilted his head. “I mean… sure. But if a hero isn’t ready to lose everything for a greater cause, is that person really a hero?”He weighted the word person subtly, as if to stress it could mean a human, a faun, a dryad, a griffin, a pandos… even a god”- Tower of Nero]

which was normal, since he had everyone basically following his lead without question as a kid. he's expanded on this in his conversation with piper in mark of athena, where he said he felt weird to suddenly be around people who were either equal/or superior to him in power, and not being in the ‘lead’ particularly.

jason had hubris, but certainly not in a way that you would call it an ego or excessive pride. he was hardwired and brainwashed into having his own perception of what is right and what is wrong, that he thought he was always making good enough decisions, at least from a roman child soldier’s standpoint. [Like when he was okay with not saving nico because it might sabotage their mission, he genuinely didn't think what he said was insensitive until hazel called him out, because he was brought up that way. he thought he was doing the right thing, by prioritising the mission and the duty, first. Like the dutiful roman he was made to be].

both annabeth and jason, have hubris and a temptation to deliberate.

annabeth and jason, also had an extremely difficult time breaking free from the thoughts that their godly parents were always right. It took on alot of disappointments for both of them to stand up to their parents (and not just godly ones, mind you)

they've both had disappointing absent mortal and godly parents with a hostile stepmother involved and monitored with each and every one of their moves. annabeth has had to deal with her stepmother playing the ‘bad cop’ with her father not even coming to her defence, just the way hera came butting into jason's life and giving him terrible memories, taking him away from thalia, with zeus not even caring.

speaking of which, they are both the only demigods who have harboured the most amount of resentment for hera. just the sight of hera pisses them both off, as it hera, stripped off so much time away from annabeth and percy, and memories from jason, which he never permanently got back.

this is sort of irrelevant but I'll add this anyway, in boo, athena also immediately liked jason for calling out zeus's unfairness to apollo, saying something like 'the boy is right' and she gave him an approving/appreciative look for his wisdom, which is pretty rare for athena to say or do to literally any demigod ever. this makes me wonder if she ever saw jason as someone who had some sort of athena legacy in him, which is why she was so pleasantly surprised with him. ugh we could've so gotten jason and annabeth as potential sibling figures bc of how many parallels they have, too bad that the percy/jason rivalry narrative was pushed too hard.

I hope I've drawn enough parallels with their characters, as a lot of you have been looking forward to this post for a while, hopefully this analysis hasnt been underwhelming for you all to read!

@thevoidcaller @karmaajr @onestorytorulethemall @newlyfoundwren @thesummerstorms

[yukioos]

hi!! i love your writing smm, especially how you write bakugo its so nice UAGHH i js love the way you write😭💝

can i request a shinso x reader? like the reader is related to aizawa (😭) and he asks reader to be shinso's sparring partner — reader is a bit quiet but def experienced in combat and it ends with shinso realizing his feelingsheheh

hitoshi sparring with reader and realizing his feelings

you were at home, petting your cats who slept peacefully on your stomach when your father stomped into the living room. he scowled and walked over to you, looking down at your lying body on the couch, with red eyes. you placed your phone down on the coffee table, guessing he was going to say some speech about how you need to be more careful with hero work.

but to your surprise, he stared at you and stated, “i want you to be hitoshi shinso’s partner at school.”

you paused for a minute, asking, “okay? i guess i will.” you giggled, “why do you have to be so ominous, dad? i thought you were gonna lecture me.”

he averted his gaze, mumbling under his breath, “maybe i will lecture you.” he halted, trying to think of a reason why he put you and shinso together, “he needs help with his physical abilities, so you’ll be training him, essentially.”

you nodded, smiling up at your dad and his tired, strained eyes. soon enough, as the days passed, and you were at school again, you froze in your path. purple hair blinded your vision, and shinso suddenly came up to you.

he asked, “are you ready to spar, aizawa?”

you nodded, “please, just call me y/n.”

a soft nod almost escaped your peripheral vision, but luckily, it didn’t. he smiled, and the two of you arrived at the training center. once the two of you stood in a specific area, you tilted your head, silently asking when the two of you should start.

“now,” he stated.

you immediately ran toward him at nearly superhuman speeds, causing hitoshi’s eyes to widen, and a gasp escaped his mouth when you stared at him with wide eyes, hair flying up like how your dad’s did when he used his power. shinso fell down once you swooped him out from under his legs, pinning him down. it seemed like he had felt a lot weaker, and he didn’t know your power. perhaps it was something like mister aizawa’s, something that could erase a strength.

shinso nodded, and you retreated to your spot. once he said ‘go,’ you again, ran into him faster than lightning and kicked him down, hair still flying up.

you stared at him, his disappointment and resentment toward himself when you suddenly decided to speak, “it’s not your fault. i can manipulate people’s strength, agility, all that type of stuff.” you paused, “so obviously, this isn’t how you really fight. i just made your abilities not as good as they normally are.”

he softly smiled once you held out a hand for him, and he took it. once the two of you stood in your spots, he nodded, and first ran toward you, but you were too quick. grabbing him just by his arm, you lifted him up with your quirk, manipulating your own strength. then, you threw him onto the ground, causing a loud groan to escape his mouth.

god, you seemed so much stronger than him, so attractive, so smart. but he couldn’t think of someone like that, especially not his teacher’s daughter. not right now, at least.

soon, however, he began to improve, and he could predict your attacks. you did a couple of rounds of no quirk use before he ultimately decided it was getting late, so he stated, “it’s almost ten, we should be going to bed.”

you nodded, and he paused, “and also, call me hitoshi.”

you smiled, “good night, hitoshi.” and turned, retreating to your dad’s classroom.

he nodded and grinned, walking to his dorm. you made him feel so nervous around you. his heart warmed, and the tips of his ears turned pink. is this what admiration felt like? was it more than admiration?

but although hitoshi was confused, in the morning, he asked to see you again to spar, and of course, you couldn’t help yourself.

yay first hitoshi drabble!! also i loved writing this, should i write a part two?

[bonus-links]

Hello! Could we have a director’s commentary on Ruins pt.11 please?? It drives me insane 🥺🥺

YEAHHH this is gonna be a long one. link to the update

this is also one of my favorite updates (and 100% my favorite dialogue in all of ch.1, possibly the whole comic so far) but I'm glad I waited to do a commentary bc I think this is actually really relevant to the latest update

cause like the conversation Loft has with botw Zelda here is very similar to the one he has with Ganondorf, though he's much less snippy during it

I wanted to give Zelda a chance to be bitter and share her grievances with the gods. Her entire story in BOTW is largely about how the legends and the expectations put upon her by them fail not only her personally but the entire kingdom. And yet she's made to feel like it's all her fault.

A lot of his comic focuses on the legacy of the Hero, but I don't want to leave Zelda (or Ganondorf) out of the conversation. The cycle makes victims of all three of them in various ways, and while I can't do everything at once, it's still my goal to explore that. The Zeldas in particular are all in interesting positions as members of the Royal Family, because they're at once always thrown in peril by it with little agency, and expected to be the facilitators of its success as the people with the closest proximity to the gods. Much to think about.

on that note BOTW Zelda is my favorite Zelda. she is my babygirl. she is my everything. I will die a BOTW Zelda defender. we haven't seen the last of her in this comic i promise :-)

okay on to actually analyzing the comic. This top panel is framed like a diptych, two paintings hinged together. these are often (though not always) associated with religious paintings and are often altarpieces. I use a triptych format in the newest update :D sidenote I think it's very cute that some of the Hylia statues in BOTW have been decorated, so i gave her a little flower crown

I imagine praying starts to feel a little strange when you are dating ur god. yeah. Also I think it's interesting that Skyloft seems to mainly worship Hylia, with the other gods being more distant. It makes sense given the whole "she personally raised us up into the sky to save us all" thing. Even though Loft is the very first hero sent on a personal religious quest directly by his goddess, I've always imagined him as kind of,,,,casually devout? In that way that it's all you've ever known. Like obviously his beliefs are deeply ingrained, but he's not as into the formality of it all as other Links we might meet later.

I think about Zelda in that freezing pool on Mt. Lanayru all the time. RAHHHHHHH

I've posted this before but close up of Slate running their errands, the errand being talking to the Great Fairies about if they've noticed anything weird going on lol. I actually wanted to make it a whole update on its own, but I cut it for time and also because. I don't think the Great Fairies really have any information that was necessary other than "no I don't know what's going on". So u get this panel.

I like this shot of that little statue towering over the both of them, and I mimic it a little bit in the new update here. something something about why we build monuments and what they stand for.

negative sim interaction

Loft still has to believe that Zelda and Slate's negative experiences had to have been some sort of misunderstanding. If Hylia could have helped, she would have. Knowing and loving your goddess on a human level also makes you want to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I actually really love that in BOTW Zelda resents Link for having some sort of access to the divine that she just can't reach. She has her arc about it in the game, but especially now she's come to understand that having the gods' favor is a double-edged sword. Also, that's not really meant to be Peony, but I like the idea that Champion also had an affinity for fairies. :-( Intentionally the same pose as Slate at the fairy fountain, though Slate is so tiny I probably didn't need to bother lol

that was a lot of rambling lol but i have. so many thoughts abt the subject matter of this update. this is the shit about LOZ that makes me froth at the mouth tbh

[starkeymeow]

brief rundown of siblingpack!pogue!reader’s family

27 ; savannah “sav” – the eldest, almost a stranger

role — left young, never came back, until now. the mysterious one who got out, started a new life, then crashed.

super distant, emotionally blocked, protective in a detached way. keeps secrets like they’re currency.

no one’s sure what she does for work, just that she suddenly needs a place to stay. (coming soon!)

relationships ;

to you — distant but respectful. your connection is strained because sav left when you were still a kid. you have emotional landmines between each other.

to rafe — neutral-to-cold. she doesn’t trust rich boys. doesn’t say much to him, but he knows she’s watching.

to the camerons — she hates ward’s whole vibe. instantly clocks him as manipulative and warns you quietly: “don’t let them feed you steak if they’re starving you emotionally.”

24 ; cole – the smartest one, but mean as hell about it

role — gifted in school, now a sarcastic underachiever. could’ve been anything, and resents everyone for that.

cold, funny in a dry way, yes hes obviously so lip gallagher core. isn’t afraid to complain or yell apparently bc thats how i accidentally wrote him in the first part already LMAO, but he means well.

still super protective when it comes to any of his siblings unless theyre being fucking stupid

relationships ;

to you — he sees you as too soft and it annoys him. but he’ll back you up in a quiet way. thinks you deserve more than what this family (and rafe) offers.

to rafe — plays nice at first but theres an instant mutual dislike. cole has no respect for ‘trust fund masculinity’ and will eventually call him out subtly, like, “so what exactly do you do besides walk around like you own the place?”

to the camerons — thinks they’re all shallow, morally bankrupt, and a walking warning sign. but ‘that sarah girl’ doesn’t seem as bad.

22 ; nadia – the one who got pregnant, but not by accident

role — has a kid but has no partner. doesn’t want one. wanted the baby, not the mess.

can be controlling, elegant, sharper than people expect. thinks everyone else is irresponsible. protective but only motherly to her daughter or rowan.

relationships ;

to you — literally sees you like a friend, but also someone to manage. she talks down to you without realizing it, treating you like a baby sister when you’re tired of that. you argue a lot but never fall out.

to rafe — wary but polite. she doesn’t hate him but assumes he’ll let you down eventually. has that ‘i’ll be watching you’ smile.

to the camerons — tries to be civil. thinks rose is plastic. thinks ward is a snake. keeps her kid far away from their energy.

20 ; YOU – the glue that holds everybody together unfortunately

role — you didn’t choose this job but they practically look to you to be the middle man in things. it’s why you don’t blame sav for leaving and why you go out so often with rafe.

you see everything but say nothing sometimes. idk i’ll make sure you have a good heart but you’ll have ur fun. impulsive maybe ? fan favorite.

relationships ;

to rafe — you’re the first person who doesn’t treat him like he’s broken beyond repair. but you also don’t fix him, you challenge him.

to the camerons — you usually try to hold your own, but they see you as a “pity project” at first. ward doesn’t like your independence. rose ignores you. wheezie likes you. sarah is intrigued, especially because she wonders why you even like someone like her brother.

16 ; kit – the wild card maybe

role — the risk-taker. the one who disappears for days n shows up like nothing happened.

reckless, addictive, oddly loyal. hates rules but loooves family dinners (for the food, drama, & laughs. mainly the drama.)

maybe angsty because shes 16. was originally supposed to be another boy but i wanted a brother/sister duo dynamic between her & jude.

relationships ;

to you — surprisingly loyal. you’re the only one who can get through to her when she’s spinning out. would throw hands for you, literally.

to rafe — lowkey kind of idolizes him at first. rafe is older, wild, and dangerous, something that kit respects. but if rafe hurts you? kit’s burning something down.

to the camerons — she thinks they’re cool but fake. she’d eventually get kicked out of their house for stealing something small ‘just to see if they’d notice.’

15 ; jude – so quiet, such an observer tbh

role — always watching. not necessarily antisocial quiet but he just minds his own business a lot of the time. when he opens his mouth its always gonna be something stupid.

withdrawn, sweet when you earn it. typical teen asshole tho, prob same with kit

relationships ;

to you — close, in a quiet, deep way. he doesn’t talk much, but he always knows when you’re hurting.

to rafe — likes him. initially it’s a very “well i guess if you like him then who am i to say anything?” feeling toward you. he secretly likes when rafe comes over because his kiss-ass self always tries to bring stuff for the younger ones now.

to the camerons — doesn’t like them. thinks they pretend too much. prob writes poetry about sarah but deletes it LMFJSOW

8 ; rowan – the tag-a-long

role — the baby. dragged into everything. overhears more than he should. weirdly wise for his age.

loves hiding under tables, pretending to be asleep, spying. he’s so adorable.

relationships ;

to you — can get obsessed. sometimes will just follow you everywhere. you’re one of the only ones who actually plays with him when you’re home.

to rafe — actually likes him because rafe treats him like a mini-adult. rafe lets him sit in the front seat, buys him snacks. you’re shocked.

to the camerons — literally doesn’t care. he just wants to know if they have a pool and snacks.

authors note ; for those who wanted the next time i release anything about siblingpack!reader <3 im at school rn n im too lazy to add the coloring tho so ill do it later maybe

@nicholaschavezslut69 @iissza @snowtargaryen @yootvi @ariiwritess @spideysimpossiblegirl @skyslowalking @adribarbie @obsessionsarenotfortheweak @0-tatiana-0 @beebeerockknot @rafestar @adribarbie @drewstarkeyzwhore @drewsephrry @annaconscience @writtenbyhollywood @yourtypicalteenagegirl @daisydark @v4mpscrms @chalahyung01

[zolo-san]

Some thoughts on Law and his image of himself

Law clearly has a lot of conflict around being seen as "good" or a "good guy" I think he want to be a good person, and he actually is, but he doesn't see himself that way, so he has a hard time accepting when people try to suggest that he is good And I think that there are several reasons for that

Law and Survivors Guilt

Law clearly holds a lot of survivors guilt throughout his life and I think it takes a big toll on him When he was younger, not only did he out live his parents and his whole town, but he "failed" to save his little sister as well We see him go out of his way to try to save her specifically, but in the end, he's still not there when she needed him the most The loss of his family also lead him down a path of which he chose to be angry and violent (ooooo we love the stages of grief lol) and take out his feelings of guilt and resentment on others despite being raised by a family of caretakers As a doctor, his father put everything he had into trying to help the people in their town and I think that Law would have looked up to him and wanted to be just like him, but after everything that happened something really broke in him I can't help but think he would feel bad and like he failed again after he moved past the angry violent reaction - just like I think he later felt quite a bit of guilt over stabbing Corazon after the fact Corazon tried everything to save Law and gave everything to him and I think that that too would add to Law's feeling of guilt, especially because it took him so long to realize that he had been too guarded and untrusting to see that Corazon was genuinely trying to help him Once he was able to accept and recognize that, however, Corazon ended up dying shortly after Obviously, Law has a lot of guilt, specifically survivors guilt, surrounding Cora's death Corazon not only risked his life for Law to live, but Law was unable to use his fruit to save him because he didn't know how, then when Law did try to get Corazon help (against Cora's wishes) he managed to "get help" from the wrong person and put Corazon in more danger, leading to his death

Ironically this is not dissimilar to the way his sister died Law had told her to hide while he get help and not only did he not get help, but when he returned, his sister had been killed

I also think that Corazon's confession to Law about being in the navy as he was about to die adds to Law's guilt because he already knew that to be true and I think it hurt him to realize that someone who cared so deeply for him and was literally dying for him still felt bad and was worried he's disappointed him

There's also something to be said about Corazon dying with a smile and the fact that Luffy is also someone who always has a smile on his face, especially when it comes to helping others I think this very much molds the image that Law has of who a "good person" is

Law lived because he knew it was what Corazon wanted for him It was all Law could do for him (I do wonder if there's also some guilt he feels about dedicating the life Cora gave to him to revenge)

Law and Selfishness

I think Law truly sees himself as selfish for many reasons, one being that he was so driven by revenge, and I think he has a tendency to overlook the good that he does because of this

I think he even sees him saving Luffy at Marineford as a selfish act

I think that seeing the efforts that Luffy was going through to save his brother made Law feel that he had failed his sister all over again He would feel that he never tried that hard And I think that it's partly for that reason that he felt compelled to save Luffy

I can't help but feel that Law, without realizing it, was trying to absolve himself of his own "sin" of not saving his sister by saving Luffy I also think the idea of Luffy, after all his efforts failing to save Ace, really broke Law's heart and he couldn't stand the idea of Luffy having to go through something like he did, especially after all the effort Luffy put in

But because of Law's view of himself and his actions as being selfish, I think that Jinbe thanking him for helping Luffy was already too much for him He didn't see his act as selfless or "kind" he saw it as him acting in self interest and I think that's why he tries to present it as such He claims that he essentially saved Luffy because he thought it would be a shame and a waist to let someone with Luffy's potential die then and there, but I think there's so much more to it and I think a lot of it has to do with Law viewing Luffy as an actual good person and something that he's not Law leaves before Luffy can thank him because he doesn't think he deserves thanks

The next we hear of what Law did during the two years that Luffy was training, we hear about his collecting pirates' hearts and becoming a warlord He does this all as part of a plan to exact revenge on Doflamingo and as part of this plan, he leaves his crew behind with no explanation and fully expecting to never see them again (tho he doesn't tell them this) This brings up an interesting fact that even though Law claims he never intended to fight Doflamingo, he also never expected to live through it

I think that Law feels incredibly guilty about leaving his crew behind because he does really care about his crew and I think that lying to them knowing full well he's going on a suicide mission hurts him a lot But I think that despite his choice being fueled by a want to protect his crew, he would feel that it's a selfish choice When he's on Punk Hazard, Law is fully in the throws of pretending to be this other person that he isn't at heart He's trying to be that cold, selfish person he sees himself as, but I don't think he can really do it So I think for this all these reasons, Luffy's mater-of-fact declaration that he is "a good guy" would make Law incredibly uncomfortable I think he sees Luffy as the type of caring, honest, and straight forward person he wishes he could be When he thinks of a good person, he thinks of someone like Luffy - someone like Corazon - who doesn't hesitate to help others at his own risk and would die for his crew and the people he cares about

Luffy obviously shares a lot of traits with Corazon and I don't think that's lost on Law So having someone like that imply that Law is the same as him is something Law can't handle

In addition to this, I think that Luffy's willingness to fight for Law at every turn and his inherent trust in him only adds to Law's feeling of inadequacy next to Luffy And I think that his survivors guilt and the fact that he feels that he's nowhere near as good a person as Luffy are all contributing factors as to why he decides that if Luffy dies fighting for him then he has to die to

I genuinely think that the idea of surviving someone so good like Luffy (and Corazon) again is something that Law cannot handle and cannot allow to happen This is also why I can't help but think that we will see a point where Law attempts to kill himself via his fruit to save Luffy I think Law would rather he die knowing that he insured Luffy's survival than to outlive someone so kind and good Though I think there would be a lot of guilt and conflict here as well I think that whenever we get to this point, it will be abundantly clear to Law that choosing to kill himself for Luffy would also be a selfish act that Luffy would never forgive him for How could he curse Luffy to eternal life knowing that Law died to give it to him?

But regardless of Law's own self image, we see repeated examples of him actually being a good and kind person He has a strong sense of right and wrong and cannot abide injustice, especially the mistreatment of innocent, good people And even if he didn't go about things the best way when he was a kid, this feeling of right and wrong and a need for justice (not in terms of the law but more in terms of karmic, moral justice) was something that was instilled in him at a young age He was taught by his family to care for others in need and to put others before himself And he tries desperately to do so when his town is being erraticated He reaches out to Luffy at Saboady when he sees, in Luffy, the same moral values and the same demand for moral justice and fair treatment of others (something I think is very important to Law given the treatment he faces for his condition as a child) Law then saves Luffy out of compassion for him, whether he's willing to admit that out loud or not He goes out of his way to try to make sure his crew is safe when he goes on his suicide mission to take down Doflamingo and even tries to assure them that everything is fine to ease their concerns When in Dressrosa while he was obviously focused very much on Doflamingo, his plan also helped benefit so many other people in Dressrosa and the world who were suffering because of Doflamingo He also refuses, at every second, to leave Luffy's side and nearly kills himself several times in the process (not to mention taking a beaten and battered Luffy into his care for the second time at his own risk) When they get to Zou, he leaves to get to his crew fairly quickly because he want's to be sure their okay and he accepts their love and happiness at his return with no argument And when Luffy asks him about altering the plan so he can go get Sanji, Law's first thought is of the people of Zou

I think this is partly because he can't stand the injustice of what happened to them, but also because he knows that insuring their saftey is something very important to Bepo since it is his home country and his people (even if he didn't really grow up there)

The people of Zou thank Law for this and he immediately shrugs it off because he doesn't see himself as someone worth thanking (especailly not after he heard of all the good the strawhats did - how could he compare?) Despite it all tho, Law makes room for Luffy - he accommodates Luffy's request because he knows how important it is to him to get Sanji back And again, he does this all selflessly and at his own risk, tho he doesn't see it as such, Law changes his plan to help Luffy and he does so without really any hesitation

There are other examples of Law going out of his way to do good and be a good person despite the image he has of himself (I'm just currently only just finishing up Zou so I haven't gotten there yet, I just know things~)

But in short, Law clearly doesn't see himself as "good," tho he desperately want to be a good person, but regardless of how Law views himself, he is clearly "a good guy"

[mixingandmelting]

hi hii <3 take as long as you need to get to this request or even ignore it if you want to <3

i was wondering what thoughts you have on the batboys dating a reader with a story like jason’s? like they died, maybe they worked for some group of assassins as a kid and died one mission. they get revived and obviously find that weird - also, they’re an adult? - and go back to the hometown of gotham and try to settle down. they actively go out as a ‘civilian’ undercover at night and save a few people from getting mugged maybe but they no longer kill. probably meets the boys because of this and then? i dunno i’m not a writer sorry 😭

A/n: did three of the five since Duke and Damian aren't adults yet 😔

Dick: Gradually Dating

If he had a nickel every time someone close to him was dead then revived using the Lazarus Pit, he’d have four nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened four times: Jason, Cass, Damian, and, now, you. It took a while for him to get closer to you, initially because he was impressed by your skills when taking those muggers only for him to be hook, line, and sinker for you. You’re everything he needed including all the ways he didn’t know he needed. He would be yapping and you would be listening to everything he says and keep it in mind. He could be in the foulest or darkest mood and somehow you’d be able to pull him out of it where he gets flustered when realizing he’s getting spoiled by you. 

He is very much pleased to say he, successfully, got together with you and is the happiest man in all of space and time. It’s a habit for him to pester you constantly with the goal being you cringing at the puns and word play he does. His hands are always on you, no matter the place, time, occasion. In your hands, on your shoulders, around your waist- 24/7 unless he’s on a long-distance mission. He’ll simply bombard you with texts on how much he misses you and asks if you miss him. All because he loves you and you’re cute but that talk is for another day.The only problem he has developed recently is not liking how Jason’s rubbing off on you ever since you met him. Blue will always be better than red and his discowing costume is a masterpiece what do you mean :( 

Jason: Buddies to Dating

The two of you hit things off right from the start when he first met you. Sure, trying to chat with you as you beat up a group of muggers wasn’t the greatest way to begin a relationship but hey. By the end of the night, you both bonded over having similar pasts and became trauma buddies. Having a person who understands what it's like to go through a crappy past like his made you become his go-to person whenever he’s in the dump and going through an episode. You laugh along and share his dark humor. You know the best ways to comfort him. You accept all of him including his flaws with no bias or judgement. Add all that to him thinking you’re stronger than him where you choose not to resent but rather overcome your past- his admiration developed into adoration for you. 

Nothing has changed once the two of you became official, other than him enjoying how he gets to physically hold you more to his heart's content. Really, he’s never been into showing affection but here he is, being the physical affectionate one out of the two of you because he likes making you flush from the simplest things like kissing you on cheek, rubbing circles on the back of your hand when holding hands . Especially in public, which he teases you about all the time. He’s definitely more tamed than Dick though, where he’s not constantly all over you 24/7, though at home, cuddling is a must. So is making sure everyone knows he’s yours and you’re the best person alive. Anyone who argues you’re not can suck it and talk to his fist. 

Tim: Denial to Acceptance

It was from investigating why the rate of mugging during the night dropped that led him to meeting you, after doing a background check on you prior. But color him surprised when you don’t like a certain group of people he knows that’s dipped in the Lazarus Pit. He thought it was out of curiosity and making sure you weren’t planning to become an underground crime-lord that he followed you around and chatted with you whenever he got caught (which was 90% of the time). It seemed like you were struggling and with how nice and kind you were towards everyone and him, he was only trying to help by leaving things you need after he leaves. Then you smiled and- oh shit, he actually likes you. 

It’s still a work in progress in terms of being more expressive in public where recently the two of you successfully hold hands comfortably without either of you getting too self-conscious. Same with the occasional hugs and pecks on the cheek. At home is a different story. He’s completely clingy. Working in your lap or you in his arms always wrapped around you as he follows you around the house, of course helping you out as he does. Displays every form of affection and the fact you reciprocate it makes everything even better. Not that he’s good at hiding it from others at the beginning when he’s always on his phone, texting you, and getting flustered when someone mentions you or you’re with him.

[apple-onigiri]

hi can you talk more about your reading of siffrin and loop's relationship please. I'm so curious 👀

(omg hii i love your analyses)

well i guess now i gotta huh!! the demons (the people on my computer) are telling me to do it, do it, do it, so here it is!! most of it below a cut! because this ended up being really really long!

so! self-love and self-hatred play a big role in isat in general. the whole story is kind of about accepting that you are capable of being loved, and not, in fact, inherently repulsive so maybe you should open up, siffrin. imagine that. and i'd argue these themes crystallize into their final form with sif and loop and how they interact :) my ants. my mentally ill ants

(this sidesteps the curious meta element of how both the narration of siffrin to himself and loop addressing siffrin as they talk uses second person. it's very interesting but this is already gonna be long enough)

looking at all their interactions, especially through the lens of knowing who loop actually is, gives a pretty good idea of loop's attitude towards another version of themselves, and, by extension, their own self (this is a bit confusing because there are Too Many Siffrins Here)

the long and short is the resentment they feel towards themselves - because loop never went through the realization they're not unlovable - is externalized and often taken out on siffrin.

they are very condescending with how they interact with him. he's just a silly little stardust! so stupid, so naive! knows so little about literally everything. awww, let me help you out, stardust, before you hurt yourself.

on my first playthrough i actually initially distrusted loop a lot because of this. i saw it as the last thing siffrin would need when they already put themselves down so heavily; how they call themselves "stupid" multiple times for any and all mistakes they make and how unforgiving they are to themselves (especially the key hidden in the classroom exemplifies this). but with the knowledge of siffrin and loop starting out as the same person, it makes a stark amount of sense. when you have a mindset similar to siffrin's and loop's, no one will ever be more critical of you than you yourself.

it sometimes feels like loop's forgetting they're not talking to themselves internally and that this is a whole separate being they're talking to that they can't just externalize their own self-hatred onto, enough that they have to backtrack and apologize because hurting yourself in a way that resembles hurting someone else makes you think twice about what you're doing to yourself. there's a healthy dose of regret there, and guilt that they said something you can't easily erase from the mind of the person you said it to.

there is still care in loop's behavior. conversely to the previous statement, nothing will make you more sympathetic to your own plight than literally seeing it from an outsider's perspective and being able to acknowledge that you need help (sidenote, but kinda twisted of the universe to grant loop's wish in the most roundabout way possible. you want someone to help you? okay! help yourself! your other self, but hey, it counts, right?)

(cut here because this is getting out of control and i can't let it appear in unabridged form on anyone's dash, especially on mobile)

as acts go on and quests progress, loop gets these moments of honesty and empathy for siffrin more often. they obviously have been helping before but you know what i mean, don't you. those moments where loop's facade drops and we get a feeling that this isn't them acting, this is their true... shades, lol. examples!!

aftermath of touch therapy! of course they'd know what the root problem here is and how to best help. this is something acutely familiar to them and they're able to tell what siffrin needs to stop spiraling. and!! siffrin reciprocates this! haven't talked ab him and his attitude towards loop specifically a lot but this too is important. i'm rapidly becoming ill btw

forgetting the party's names upon waking up on the meadow and calling loop! it happened to loop before so seeing it happen to another version of you must make one feel... complicated. they patiently remind siffrin each name and make sure they're fine.

honestly, throughout the entirety of the story, but especially by the end of act 4, they find it very crucial to make sure they reassure siffrin they're there for him, that he's not alone in this. they know where feeling completely alone leads.

okay i can't take it anymore i gotta talk about this.

loop so doesn't want siffrin to use the dagger on themselves. it's genuinely heartbreaking to see their distress about the idea

they even try to dissuade siffrin from it later on, when you first attempt to use it, and are very very upset still afterwards

they care about siffrin!! they don't want to see him hurt! they don't want siffrin to befall the same awful fate they met where self-destruction melts into the natural state of being and you just spiral spiral spiral! they don't hate him, and seeing them fall so far from okay that they're fine with stabbing themselves to save time in a time loop where literally no time is wasted because it loops back anyway is awful for them.

this is where loop transforms from the voice in your head pointing out your deepest flaws to one that can tell what you're doing is self-destructive and bad for you and you really, really should stop. the, pardon my wording, tug on your stomach, like the one you get when you're standing over the ledge and looking down. and when you get the stupid thought how easy it would be to fall, your brain reacts by jolting you away. loop is the jolt.

loop is the inner instincts of siffrin personified at many points of the story. sometimes they're hurtful towards him as instincts of a self-destructive person are wont to do, which is justified with them just wanting that other version of themselves to Be Better, Get Better. and sometimes, it's self-preservation they depict; feeling at home with your self and expressing empathy towards yourself and your own awful situation.

when act 5 comes, loop is clearly crushed about not being able to help siffrin out, about not being able to get them out of their despair.

then, just like he's done with everyone else, siffrin rejects loop too. when siffrin shuns loop here, it's out of anger for being kept in the dark, yes, but it's also a rejection of any positive thoughts they might have about themselves.

siffrin's rejection of loop isn't only rejecting one last person they're close to like they did with their family members. it's a rejection of any and all instincts to care for himself and his well-being. it's the same thing that allows him to use crafts with no cooldowns. it's the same thing as memory of emptiness that lets him loop to the point where he died and just keep going. it's what lets mal du pays take form.

this refusal of loop's help is, in my opinion, the ultimate act of self-hatred in isat.

okay depression time over act6 twohats happy times yayy!!!

after a little bit because loop is - kinda justifiably - upset at how their suffering amounted to nothing and now this siffrin gets their happy ending. and they don't!! how is that fair? we have to keep in mind a lot of what we've learned was news to loop too. they spent so long in the loops, not knowing why, to the point where they begged the universe to get them out and help them.

their roles from act 5 essentially swap here. here loop is the one self-destructing and rejecting any help at all, and projecting the hell out of themselves onto siffrin, just like siffrin did in the "friendquests" in act 5.

so i haven't talked a lot about siffrin's outlook on loop before now (when his psyche is not literally split into tiny pieces, that is) but my little pet theory is that, just like they really hate repeating their lines, being all fake, and only do so because they feel they have to, they're often annoyed by loop because they can kind of sense the front they put out. if you hate the way you pretend, these feelings are most likely gonna transpose to another version of you doing the same thing.

but in this fight, the siffrin in it is not the one still trapped in the time loops. this is a siffrin tentatively learning that maybe it's okay to not hate yourself. so, just like act 5 is the greatest act of self-hatred, the ending of this fight is the ultimate act of self-love and self-acceptance, regardless of how it ends but with some caveats to both outcomes.

if siffrin wins, he refuses to hurt loop, stating outright that they don't hate themselves enough to do so. he won't do it even if loop is literally begging for it.

if loop wins, they cannot bring themselves to hurt siffrin. they feel too much empathy towards them. it's impossible to hate him - and themselves - the same after seeing the struggle from outwards.

regardless, they both exhibit the kind of care only you yourself can give yourself after fighting tooth and nail to prove to your own self-esteem that you're worth it. siffrin wouldn't be satisfied with killing loop because it would mean a rejection of some fragment of themselves.

siffrin went through a capital-C Change due to the loops (the theme of change in isat is another thing i could write on and on about), and part of that Change was having a version of you, your past self, still stuck in how they used to be and the situation that made them so. a healthy type of growth means changing for the better, yes, but also learning to love and respect who you used to be. if you met your younger self, would you resent them? or would you want them to know that all their struggles weren't for nothing? Change means leaving something behind but not forsaking it, letting it rot and fester unacknowledged

(insert rant about how isa's Change was actually kind of partial because he decided to completely sever ties with who he used to be instead of being appreciative of the aspects of himself he seems to still like, like being smart, and him resorting to hiding it instead WE DON'T HAVE THE TIME RIGHT NOW ASK ME LATER IF U WANNA but tl;dr actshually isa Change doesn't need to be full-on destruction because the eggshell is still there the Change God told me okay enough of this)

this. this is love. self-love given form. to me.

"you matter. your suffering mattered. it helped me become who i am right now. nothing was in vain. it hurt, and might still hurt for a long time - but it was never for nothing." that's what i got from this scene.

anywayyyyy i warned you!!! that this would be long!! if you let me yap! it's yap central over here. if you got all the way down here, thank you for enduring. have a cupcake :)🧁

[eccentrcks]

I'm not afraid of you now I'm not afraid of you now villain and violent infant and innocent baby both arms cradle you now I'm not afraid of you now. - "Forwards Beckon Rebound" by Adrienne Lenker.

"Russell Adler, I've been expecting you." He hears her cold voice, thickened with disdain and perhaps resentment, which was ironic that he should be displaying such... dislike towards her instead of the way around for giving him so many emotional scars than his time in Vietnam had given him. "I see we bear similar scars now," Marlene, the little terror who's been a painful thorn to his side, simply sat in front of him on some wooden stool as she nodded at his neck.

Just the opposite sides, kid...

"I wasn't expecting a warm welcome, but..." He stated blankly and tried readjusting his restraints. "I would've expected to be somewhere more reclusive... instead of the same room you entrapped me."

"Don't worry, this isn't my safe house. It's just... temporary." Those empty brown eyes of hers bore into his cold blue ones. His sunglasses remained on the creaky wooden floor. "So, I just removed the tracker from your pocket what you intended to put into me and put it in some fishing shop into fish bait. That's gonna be an interesting trip for your little jarheads." She chuckled dryly and played with the sharp edges of the silver blade.

"You never intended to kill me." He broke the silence after a moment of Marlene staring at him. As if she was inspecting the insect caught in a harmless trap.

"Why should I? Getting rid of you doesn't really benefit me," She leaned forward with her knife, the point end flipping to downwards with the handle in her grip. "You're just an CIA officer with not much value for me. Just one of those... potential casualties. I'd rather just let your job do it for me. I learnt a lot from my mother and the organization that taken me in."

"Astraea."

Marlene just stared at him and an unsettling smile dipped onto her features. "Of course, did you know that mercy isn't always a good thing? Especially the one receiving it? That's the lesson I learnt as a child and relearnt it the year after we first met. So, sparing you wasn't an act of kindness. Otherwise, it would've been nothing more a waste of my time." She reached over to fix his hair and paused to grip the scalp. "It's something you should consider learning for yourself."

Adler almost wants to laugh at that and not out of genuineness. More like sarcastically. It made him think these people were creating a merciless killer more than some obedient soldier, he doesn't really want to know if her mother was worst or not.

Marlene Monroe obviously knows what she is doing, and of course, he'll immediately believe she grew up like an seasoned field operator. What kind of mother teaches their child to be a soldier and to withstand torture in a long capacity? And Adler once believed he could've controlled her like he did with Bell a year ago.

He would've been easily compromised like now.

She let go of his scalp and went back to fiddling with the knife in her hands. "My time with them... made me realized we're not so different each other, although there was one difference that stood out. I had more freedom... and then when they took me in by force, it wasn't long before I felt true isolation. You and my previous interrogators in the past made me feel like I had an opportunity to leave the black hole before, but with them..." Marlene slowly leaned in again. "It was like there was no hope for me at all. Just absolute no way out until they just put you to better use. Nothing can make you feel that way compared to their ways."

Adler stayed still and barely budged from her intense gaze. "So the next time we meet and we will... perhaps I can show you what hell is truly like. It's nothing compared to your little MKUltra methods and all. Then maybe... maybe we'll see that little facade of yours break. Soldiers like you break eventually. They always do." She nodded with a little hum and lightly tapped his chin with the end of her knife.

"What happened to going home?" He had to ask since the last time he'd seen her, she was determine to do Astraea's dirty work in exchange to going home. Yet she was still here, continuing to be the war criminal he's hunting down.

Marlene tapped the knife on her own chin and looked thoughtful before rolling her shoulders. "There's nothing for me to go back to. You'll know the feeling of being seen as an actual villain someday, Russell Adler. Trust me, there's no worser feeling than your loved ones seeing you as the bad guy and eventually becoming one." She stood up from her seat towards a silver briefcase to unlock it.

"Now, I have very important matters to attend to than to entertain you and your whack jobs. So... until then, Russell Adler." Marlene finished before putting on a respirator and some little canister inside released gas. "Nighty night." Those empty brown eyes intently stared straight at his face to watch the drug take effect on him.

Adler felt his vision blurring and breathing became heavier. Little dots that slowly turned bigger filled his vision and it wasn't long before he completely blacked out.

Until then...

-

a.n: Beautiful artwork goes to the lovely @sleepyconfusedpotato and on my god, I loved this piece so much! This is more of a concept on how Adler tries to reach and confront the rotting apple of his eye who gave him fresh scars as she explains how she was taught and etc while he was restrained. This wasn't proofread either, so I apologize for any bad grammar detected.

[vidduality]

SPOILERS for Episode 6 of the Avatar Live Action series

AKA why this episode makes me SO grateful for this adaptation (re: the Zuko flashbacks and the Agni Kai).

----

Wow.

I admit, I was really worried at the idea that Zuko might potentially fight back in the Agni Kai against his father in the live action. I expected to HATE it, and it's certainly a bold change, but it fits in SO WELL with why Zuko is the way that he is (and why he works so hard to push down his empathy whenever Aang tries to reason with him).

The Agni Kai - Zuko obviously did NOT want to fight his father. He still tried to apologize and beg for mercy, but in the end he was just too terrified of his father to disobey a direct order.

But when Ozai left him an opening to see what he'd do with it, Zuko couldn't bring himself to actually land a blow that might burn him. Making his lack of ruthlessness the weakness that Ozai ends up mutilating him for - even straight up telling Zuko that compassion is weakness and then demonstrating by holding his own child down and lighting him on fire - adds a layer of depth that only enhances the original scene (and in another stroke of genius, we see Ozai nearly in tears himself. He's convincing himself of this lesson as well as Zuko, which was likely passed down to him by his own father). Honestly, this to me is even more heartbreaking than Ozai burning him for refusing to stand and fight. Zuko did everything his father asked and he still failed, because his family has distorted what it means to be honorable and believes Zuko's capacity for mercy to be a shameful weakness unbecoming of an heir to the throne.

The 41st Division - And here come the waterworks. Assigning the very people Zuko was hurt so severely for trying to save to his ship as it's being cast out of the fire nation (presumably forever, with the Avatar not having been seen in 100 years) is SUCH a brilliant addition. His crew resents Zuko for being stuck on this impossible mission with this bratty, angry child. And Zuko is too ashamed of his "weakness" to explain why they were assigned to him.

I can totally see Zuko's hurt at their lack of respect making him even more angry (especially after everything he went through to save them from being sacrificed), and his seemingly irrational anger at them just continuing to make them resent him more in a neverending feedback loop of anger and disrespect that's been growing and festering for 3 years.

Which makes the scene at the end when Zuko's crew finally learns about how he saved their lives (as well as why he's obsessed with the avatar, why he's banished, what his scar means and why he's trying so very hard to rid himself of empathy, even if he can never quite manage it when it counts) so much more impactful. I SOBBED when the 41st Division stood at attention and showed him their utmost respect and loyalty, possibly for the first time since they've been on that ship. Zuko's soft "what's going on?" at finally being honored by his crew is just imprinted on my brain.

The seed of the idea that his compassion may NOT actually be what was shameful about his banishment afterall can finally begin to take root.

I just, damn, I love this episode so much.

[mirixmoya]

my initial first-read thoughts for SOTR PART I: THE BIRTHDAY obviously there will be MAJOR SPOILERS under the cut but i hope u enjoy :)

chapter 01;

laundress Mrs. Abernathy i knew u were real. i felt u in my soul

“woah, a promotion!” he’s such a dick (affectionate)

i know white liquor has been mentioned in previous books but i find its’ emphasis here as a part of district 12 culture (especially for the labouring class) to be really interesting. it feel analogous to the rise of drinking culture amongst working-class britons amid the industrial revolution.

“I’m not much of a drinker myself,” suzanne im gonna kms

lenore dove having a fancy for colourful things... there are haydove / hayffie parallels everywhere for those with the eyes to see

the change in the Covey culture between tbosas and sotr feels very poignant

i predicted hair ribbon lenore dove idc

haymitch thinking clerk carmine hates love only to find out the man is secretly in a long-term relationship for fear of persecution... don't u worry baby that's gonna be u in a couple decades.

i am also taking credit for predicting pocketknife haymitch

another M name for maysilee's sister... i'm basically a prophet

"you two didn't have to dress up for me" he's a comedian ladies and gentlemen

AN ESCORT!!!!!!

haymitch not being the original draw... suzanne do u want me dead.

chapter 02;

i find haymitch's reluctance to act when faced with things he knows are wrong to be really interesting, especially compared to lenore dove's insistence on action. it's something that sets them apart from one another, whereas i've always felt the hesitation to act was something that haymitch and effie had in common.

parallels between haymitch putting himself between lenore dove and the peacekeeper vs. haymitch putting himself between katniss and the peacekeeper... that's sick.

plutarch appearance? these two divas and their generational beef.

"or some extra-horrible snappy way to die" literally the worst thing in the world is happening and this boy is doing his tight ten standup.

i think drusilla vs. effie could be an interesting study in the de-escalation of the escort role. drusilla's persona is overtly and pointedly hostile compared to effie's put-on benevolence.

"the Capitol rigs the reaping!" gang we may have lost the battle (online discourse) but we have won the war (canon material)

"Not from her and not from me" haydove is absolute gas and i knew it would be

bruise-knuckled haymitch i loved u first

chapter 03;

“will she be able to make ends meet without my wages from hattie? she will, or she’ll die trying.” Mrs. Abernathy i love u so much.

him mourning the life he should have had… my shayla.

haymitch’s resentment for uptight frilly spoiled maysilee… haymitch eventually coming around to maysilee by way of forced proximity and circumstance. haymitch’s resentment for uptight frilly spoiled effie… haymitch eventually coming around to effie by way of forced proximity and circumstance. interesting.

Lucy Gray mention who else cried

putting money on mags being the twelve mentor rn

i know drusilla is the bad guy here but unfortunately i am predisposed to have a latent affection for snobby escorts “Daylight is murder!” is soooo effie.

chapter 04;

haymitch thinking about that cake the same way katniss thought about the chicken with oranges in thg that's my fatherdaughter duo

"don't let them paint their posters with your blood" okayyy mr. abernathy the poet

maysilee donner diva of all time i knew i would love her

i also like that the luxuries given to the tributes is a slow build up from snow taking power rather than going straight to the level of luxury we see in the og series. it feels indicative of the capitol's need to continuously justify the taking of tributes. the hunger games is not stagnant, it is a machine that is constantly in motion, constantly building upon itself lest it fall. it's interesting.

chapter 05;

"seems the capitol has to convince its own citizens, too" and y'all KNOW i love that shit.

something something haymitch's first token from lenore being a fire starter something something haymitch's second token from effie being patterned with fire

"i need to take a piss" olivia wilde nodding gif that's MY haymitch

haymitch judging the crowd for being drunk made me insanely sad like omg he doesn't even know what's coming...

chapter 06;

haymitch rearranging louella's braids and wiping the blood from her face... he's just a baby boy ur honour

"our eyes meet, and a smile plays on his lips. no anger, no outrage, and certainly no fear. i have not impressed him with my performance." suzanne im literally shitting bricks don't scare me like this.

them calling eachother Miss Donner and Mr. Abernathy... haysilee u ate that one lil thing i will not lie

WIRESS APPEARANCE I CHEERED!!!!

i would literally bet money on wiress being the one to teach haymitch how to spot the forcefield just like she did with katniss... my tethered fatherdaughter

MAGS!!! MY DIVA!!!

chapter 07;

"and while lenore dove will forever be my true love," i need every hayffie fan who freaked out at that line to relax, take a deep breath, and to never take a 16-year-old's word on love at face value.

haymitch having very realistic / literal dreams means haymitch having very realistic / literal nightmares for the rest of his life :(

"nice outfit" the world could literally be ending and this man would still be doing his standup.

"the arena's just a machine really. a killing machine" banger.

maysilee giving very Eyes Bright, Chins Up, Smiles On in this moment i have no choice but to stan

miss suzanne introducing the children to the idea that the Labouring Many will always outnumber the Owning Few and that it isn't for the Few to rule over the Many everyone say thank u suzanne

chapter 08;

plutarch and haymitch having a decades long beef might be the best lore drop of this book

why is plutarch that trust fund kid in ur first year polisci class who read marx once but has literally never had a conversation with anyone who went to high school next to a corn field.

his stressed out ass tryna get maysilee and wyatt's act together... welcome back Mentor Haymitch!

BEETEE APPEARANCE!!!!

beetee's son is gonna die :(((((

chapter 09;

"i don't drink" my babyyy my baby ur my baby

haymitch calling The Raven lenore dove's poem... baby that is Sir Edgar Allen Poe u are quoting rn.

snow being visibly unwell during the 50th i know his ass was RANCID by the 74th.

also also snow being a miserable old cotcher about the fact that he lost a bad bitch like fourty years ago damn take a hike peepaw.

ANYWAY some intelligent thoughts, mostly unintelligent rambling. i hope u enjoyed all the same! i'm so so excited to continue reading tomorrow and get back to y'all with more thoughts :)

[chilschuck]

Can i request for chilchuck react to reader who like to daydream and after he tell the reader he is married, the reader keep spacing out more often out of sadness and they also try to avoid interacting with him much so she can move on. But laios and the other think it's normal since she always avoid interacting with people ( the reader interact with chilchuck more after falling in love with him )

Do you think he will notice? (ಥ﹏ಥ) (ಡ���ಡ)

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ WAHHHH ANON this is such a good concept and made my heart hurt…… i ended up adding some comfort to it because if you’re like me, you need it after reading angst!! :”)))

— OF COURSE: chilchuck x gn!reader.

꒰ warnings: ꒱ sfw + hurt/comfort! might be a lil ooc, lol.

꒰ wc: ꒱ 941

✦ i hope this turned out okay!! i made it shorter than my other drabbles by accident but it felt good to end it where it did. i kind of changed the prompt a lil but only because i wanted to give you guys some love from chil still. (;;;w;;;) i’m honestly worried this turned out bad…. hhhhh. i’m so sorry if it’s not what you wanted. ;;; i still hope you enjoy!!! <333

He knew something was wrong.

It wasn’t difficult to see that you had started avoiding him. Even your gaze refused to meet his own for longer than it had to. Your constant spacing out and stares at the floor said all he needed to hear: you were upset.

It only seemed to get worse when you overheard his talk about reconciling with his wife, any hope you had shattering into a thousand pieces in front of you. From then on, you didn’t smile unless you felt you had to. The thick silence you left in your wake was suffocating, and Chilchuck wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

The other members in the party took it as if you were being your usual spacey self, and didn’t draw any attention to the issue. This only made Chilchuck feel worse; he definitely noticed the change.

You used to hang back with Chilchuck and talk with him constantly, sharing little tidbits about yourselves or chatting mindlessly. Things seemed to come easily when it came to you... Too bad he only realized this now.

The smiles you gave him, the eyes full of affection, the lingering touches… It stung that they were no longer a part of his everyday life. Instead, the sadness that ate at you only bled through to your face, into your actions, and into your silence. It was unfamiliar and unbearable at the same time… Especially with the way you’d closed up further.

Chilchuck wasn’t stupid; he knew you harbored some sort of feelings for him. He wasn’t sure if that made this hurt more than it would otherwise. You were obviously distancing yourself from him, further proving his point that inner party relationships were trouble. Yet, there wasn’t any anger or resentment in his chest towards you. If anything, this was a misunderstanding between the two of you.

Calling your name, he approached you almost apprehensively. The recoil you gave made that familiar sharp pain in his chest reappear. Blurting out an excuse, you made your presence scarce. And just like that, you left him alone again.

Of course he noticed. If anything, he hoped that it was all some sort of miscommunication. Sure, he wanted to reconnect with his estranged wife, but… That’s what they were: estranged childhood sweethearts that grew apart. Along with their love, their relationship changed. Things weren’t something he could fix, and his old flame knew that too. But he hoped more than anything they could sort through their differences and still be at least friends.

Of course you didn’t know. There was no way for you to know, or have known his true intentions. Like everything else he tried to bury deep down, you were fading from his life. Chilchuck couldn’t seem to let this one go, to let you go.

So he chased after you. For once in his life, he decided to not swallow these feelings down. He knew there was only so much he could bury, only so much he’d want to bury. You didn’t deserve that, and he needed you to give him those smiles again. To give him those gazes full of adoration and those tender but fleeting touches…

You didn’t pull your hand out of his immediately. Instead, when he called your name again this time, you turned. Chilchuck swallowed.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

Surely there was a better thing to ask at this moment, but your lip quivered nonetheless. A deep sigh leaving you, your gaze met with the floor again.

“…So it’d stop hurting.” Was all you replied, the weight of those words knocking the air out of him. He opened his mouth to speak, but you raised a hand to silence him.

“This is for the best... I hope you understand.” Your voice used to never sound so broken. It was soft in a way that he’d never heard before. You had truly given up on this, and he can’t say he blames you. He’d have given up on himself, too.

But he can’t let himself fall into that same cycle of self-pity. Not again, he assured himself, reaching up to grab a fist full of your top and pulling you down to meet his eyes. “Let me explain this to you. Please. I… I’m not going back to her because of the reason you think.” Chilchuck hadn’t heard himself this pleading in so long. He felt pitiful, and he suddenly remembered why he doesn’t like being vulnerable.

You couldn’t stop your head from nodding a yes to his request, that spark of hope trying to ignite once again in your chest. Trying to snuff it out, you waited patiently for him to continue.

And so he did. Baring it all to you, he decided this would be another step towards being more open with himself. Maybe you’d see him as pathetic for this, but he tried to piece the words together as congruent as possible. The feelings he had for her distinguished with the years spent apart and even some of the time spent together. This whole time he’s been sure that he just wanted to right the wrongs he did, and move on. Hopefully with you, when all this was over.

Of course you said yes. You listened, and with every word that left him, the flame within you rekindled. You weren’t sure what to say for a moment, besides giving a light laugh in relief. Even Chilchuck exhaled a brisk chuckle, scratching the back of his head in nervous habit. He’s not sure he could ever get used to this whole “telling your true feelings” thing.

But for you, he’d try.

— dividers by @/cafekitsune!! <333

[cescalovestowrite]

Hi hello, I have seen the “Odysseus can pose a threat to Penelope if he sees her being unfaithful” debate everywhere. But can you help me to elaborate how?

Hi, sure.

There are people who have expressed it way better than I ever could, but if I can be of any help I'm glad to. This is going to be quite long and hopefully not too messy.

Sources for the things I will say: Penelope's Renown: Meaning and Indeterminacy in the Odyssey and Penelope: from character to poetics.

The first thing to say is if you're asking me whether Odysseus poses a physical threat to Penelope (e.g. whether he wants to kill/be violent with her if she betrays him), then in my opinion there is no basis in the text to support this. This threat is never made explicit by him. Odysseus is repeatedly put in a position to think about a possible betrayal (especially when he talks to Agamemnon, but also for example when he hears the love story between Ares and Aphrodite while he is at the court of the Phaeacians) and he never expresses violent thoughts or intentions towards a hypothetical adulterous Penelope. And this is not an attempt to argue that "he's not like other boys" as I'm sometimes forced to read on tumblr, but it is simply based on the text we have. Moreover, Helen's fate seems to indicate to me that in the Homeric world forgiveness towards adulterous wives is at least conceived.

BUT just because there is no explicit threat of physical violence doesn't mean there isn't an underlying potential threat that all the characters perceive.

On several occasions the Odyssey tells the story of Agamemnon and how he was killed by his wife's lover with her complicity. This story is a great alarm bell for the characters, it is a possible plot twist that everyone must take into account. The comparison is immediate:

Agamemnon -> Odysseus

Clytemnestra -> Penelope

Orestes -> Telemachus

Obviously the fact that the stories can be compared does not mean that they can overlap. For example, Telemachus does not feel up to it nor does he seem so willing to take on the role of Orestes as avenger of his father's honor. If he did, he would not have the same reasons as Orestes to direct his revenge towards his mother. But be careful about this last point, because it is clear that Telemachus has some resentment towards his mother and that he perceives her as a threat. This is what Antinous tells him when they are in assembly:

"For I assure you that so long as she maintains this attitude that the gods have guided her to adopt, the Suitors will continue to eat you out of house and home. She may be winning a great name for herself, but at what expense to you!" (Odyssey book 2, Rieu)

So one consideration we can make is that the threat is not one-way. Penelope is herself a threat to Odysseus and Telemachus, and they are a threat to her.

Basically the characters' ignorance about Odysseus' fate (will he return or not?) in itself poses a threat.

In the absence of certainty, there is no right course of action for either Telemachus or Penelope. For Telemachus because:

1) If he faced the suitors alone it would be a suicide mission.

2) He perceives the threat that his mother represents as long as she stays in the house, but can he throw her out if his father is about to come home? No. (Also it seems to me that he is unhappy with the idea of ​​throwing her out anyway).

For Penelope because:

1) by postponing the wedding she is endangering her son's life.

2) if Odysseus is alive she is endangering him and she is also endangering herself by remarrying.

The threat exists because none of the three has all the information, none of the three already knows how the others will act. For Penelope the decision to remarry is the best if Odysseus is dead, but it is objectively wrong if he is alive.

So this is the potential threat, but we can't ignore the fact that in the end things go very differently for the ithacan family than for the house of Atreus. The Odyssey proposes the theme of the House of Atreus several times, only to then distance itself from it and propose an alternative. And since the question was specifically about how Odysseus reacts to Penelope's possible infidelity, I think it's right to focus on his actual behaviors as well, not just potential ones.

An important thing to keep in mind is: the rapresentation of Penelope as the perfect little wife who would never cheat on her husband is very imprecise. Penelope is a person whose thoughts are very difficult to know, and it is very difficult to predict her moves. There is not a single character that can explain with definitive and authoritative voice why she is doing what she is doing. This is continually suggested to us in the text. I will try to give an example that I think is very eloquent. Let's take the scene in which she appears for the first time before Odysseus (still in disguise): she tells the suitors that the time has come for her to get married and narrates that Odysseus had told her that she could/should remarry as soon as Telemachus got old enough. So she convinces the suitors to give her the classic wedding gifts. And then

The noble, patient Odysseus was delighted at her words, because she was extorting gifts from her suitors and bewitching them by her persuasive words, while all the time her heart was set on something quite different (Odyssey book 18, Rieu)

So he "knows" that she is making fun of them. But let's think about this for a moment. There are two possibilities: 1) Penelope did not lie about the story 2) Penelope did lie about the story.

If Penelope told the truth then it is not clear why Odysseus should rejoice. How can he know that her heart is set on something different? Is he rejoicing just because she is getting gifts? Or is it because of a sort of pride in the fact that she is so desired by other men (her value as a woman rises)? This second possibility does not seem to be suggested by the text in Odysseus' reaction, but I point out that this interpretation seems to be very close to Athena's plan when she arouses in Penelope the desire to be seen by the suitors. Athena seems to want Penelope to prove herself capable of bringing value to the home and value in the Homeric poems is measured in physical objects.

Or Penelope lied. If Penelope lied why should Odysseus rejoice? Penelope's lie could just be a little excuse to justify the long wait that now is finally over. It could be, in Odysseus' eyes, overwhelming evidence that she actually wants to remarry. Otherwise she would have invented something else.

Here my imaginary interlocutor brings up the concept of homophrosyne. Those two have the same mind and therefore must understand everything about each other, right? Personally, it seems to me that this implies taking the concept a bit too far, and above all it is not really supported by what happens in the text (why should Odysseus fall into the final trap of the bed if Penelope's mind has no secrets for him anyway?). Homophrosyne means that they have the same mind, yes, but in the sense that they are both difficult to read, very distrustful, cautious, liars and both always have more than one purpose.

The point is that Odysseus (and we even less than him in this case) cannot know what Penelope's true intentions are. He can know if she is lying and he can imagine what her feelings are (also because he has been reassured by Athena about them), but he cannot really know them. How can you easily know the heart of a person who always lies?

And be careful because the bow contest is the same thing, if not "worse": how does Odysseus know that she is not calling the contest because she has actually realized that it is better to remarry? After all, that is what her words suggest. Odysseus tells her that having the bow contest is a great idea (and in fact it is because he will have access to a weapon). Can he suspect that she has recognized him and is offering him help? In my opinion, yes, but it would still be a suspicion.

I've finished setting the scene, now I'm finally getting to the point:

What I find important to answer your question is not so much racking our brains to figure out how much Odysseus knew (or how much Penelope knew). I think it's important to understand how Odysseus behaves in his position of ignorance about Penelope's intentions. In my opinion, when Odysseus sees Penelope and then tests her, he is not particularly alarmed by the idea that Penelope might decide that she can no longer postpone marriage. When they talk to each other he tests her heart more than her intentions. He knows she is in a difficult situation and is very happy with how she has handled it up to that point. He is also reassured by the way she remembers him, by the strength with which she desires him. He knows she is doubting but he experiences her doubts as a challenge, because he wants to win her back, to prove to her that her feelings are not misplaced, that he is still worthy of her love as he was twenty years before. So let it be clear that Odysseus wants to test her and be tested by her.

As I already said Odysseus can't be sure of her true intentions and he knows that. That's why he is still in disguise. But the fact that they both lie to each other and don't trust each other right away is what will bring them closer again in the end. It's what they share.

So to answer your question: Odysseus and Penelope pose a serious threat to each other: they don't know how the other will act and must behave cautiously because of this. And it is precisely this that makes it even more incredible that in the end, without their knowing it, their minds are so in sync.

[anyydidi]

WRITING THIS POST BECAUSE I'M SO SICK OF PEOPLE MISCHARACTERIZING FORD!!!!!!!!!

Before we begin, everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you really think Ford wouldn't truly care, you do you.

That being said, I feel like people who claim that Ford wouldn't do a single thing to bring Stan back if their places were switched do not understand his character at all.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that he would open the portal. At least not right away. The one thing I agree with is that Ford wouldn't put the life of his brother above the whole planet like Stan did. He realizes the threat of the portal and Bill too much to do that.

But have people forgotten that Ford also loves his brother? Yeah, he was angry, bitter and resentful, but he wouldn't have just let Stan die in the multiverse. Especially since that would be entirely his fault he got stuck there in the first place.

For people thinking, "But Ford was too blinded by rage! He didn't care for Stan until after Weirdmaggedon!", have you seen the show? Have you read the journal? Through everything that happened, Ford kept a photo (tattered and worn, obviously taken out a lot) of him and his brother in his left, inner breast pocket which is the one closest to the heart. If that wasn't enough, for those who haven't read the journal, Ford kept reminiscing about and mentioning his brother before the portal incident. Even though those lines were often crossed out, it was obvious that at least unconsiously he had Stan in mind a lot. And at the end of the journal, it is written that he worked day and night, to the point of passing out, to bring Stan's memories (and essencially Stan himself) back. (Oh and have we forgotten about the absolutely shattered expression he had when he erased Stan's memories? You don't look like that for a person you don't deeply care about).

Still not enough to believe that Ford cared about Stan before Stan's sacrifice?

Let's talk about the fact that when Ford was at his lowest, that being paranoid, sleep deprived, tortured by Bill, drowned in guilt, and completely alone, he reached out to Stan? He says it himself, "I needed help, someone I could trust." After everything, he still trusted Stan to an extent and believed him to be his last hope. You don't give trust like that to people you truly hate.

Ford was self-absorbed and egocentric, but also hurt and betrayed. That feeling came from a misconception, but that doesn't make it any less valid. It is understandable that he acted towards Stan the way he did, with venom and bitterness. But we can be angry at people we love and still care for their well-being.

How I said earlier, I don't think Ford would really open the portal. He wouldn't risk the entire world for Stanley. But I do think he would do anything in his power to be able to bring Stan back safely. You cannot be telling me that he'd be able to live with the guilt and not do anything about it if he could. After all, in his head, it would be his fault. He got tricked by Bill, he built the portal, he made Stan come to him and showed him the portal and he wasn't able to let go of the journal and fought Stan for it. I'm convinced he'd still throw some blame at Stan for some of the fight to make himself feel better at first, but after some time he would just blame himself completely (the same way I think Stan did with the science fair incident). The guilt for all of that would eat him alive.

Let's not forget, Stanley worked for 30 years, basically half his life to bring Stanford home and I believe Ford would be willing to do the same. He would just go about it differently. He would either try to get rid of the threat of Bill and then be willing to upgrade the portal and turn it on again, or maybe try to find a completely different way to get Stan back from the multiverse, or in the end something entirely different, I'm not fully sure.

What I am sure of is that Ford wouldn't just let Stan be stranded in the multiverse without doing absolutely nothing. Maybe he wouldn't succeed, maybe Stan would actually have to find his own way back home because Stanford wouldn't be able to find a solution without risking their entire universe. But Ford would at least try, give it his all, because despite everything, he still loves his brother. Differently than Stan loves him, because Ford is a different person than Stan, but he still does.

So I beg you, people. Stop taking Ford's complex character from him. He can be a selfish, self-centered asshole, but he's not heartless.

[a-most-beloved-fool]

Tell us more about your hate for Dr. Mora...?

Yes!

The thing with Dr. Mora is that the people who wrote him weren't actually properly aware of what they were writing. What they intended to write was a nuanced father-figure who gets to reconcile with his formerly no-contact son. What they actually wrote was... a bit different.

I've talked about him on here before, so I'm going to go ahead and link that post here, because I think there was good discussion (and it's a bit shorter), but if you want the long answer, it's below the cut!

From even before Mora's first appearance in The Alternate, we know that Odo feels a great deal of resentment towards him as a direct result of how Odo was treated when he was in Dr. Mora's lab. He is mentioned more than once before he ever appears on screen, and always in negative or neutral ways (such as Odo speaking about the 'Cardassian neck trick' that he clearly didn't enjoy performing).

When he does first arrive on station, Odo is very obviously uncomfortable with him. He does not want to spend time with Mora - in fact, he explicitly states that he does not see Mora as a father-figure, and that he does not trust him.

Now, the plot of this episode features a gas which caused Odo, when in his rest-cycle, to unknowingly turn into a seemingly-mindless monstrous creature. Seemingly mindless, I say, because the creature does have enough of a mind to remember his resentment of Mora and repeatedly target him. I, personally, am of the opinion that That Level of resentment does not come from nothing and can't be easily dismissed.

During this episode, Mora is the first to realize that the creature is Odo. He pulls Odo aside and informs him of this. I'm just going to leave a section of the episode summary from Memory Alpha here, because I think it says it better than I can:

Odo proposes that the gas from the planet they were on affected him somehow, but Dr. Mora suggests Odo may have been responsible for unsolved crimes in the past. He then says that now that they know the truth, none of the station staff will trust Odo, and advises Odo to return to the scientific center with him, stating he has experience with Odo.

To me, that reads as a wildly abusive interaction. That is Mora trying to manipulate Odo by distancing him from his friends and casting doubts on Odo's ability to do his job (which Odo takes great pride and comfort in). He takes the two things most important to Odo - his connection to his coworkers, and his career, and dismisses both of them as false, somehow. It's deliberate, and it's cruel. The phrase, "he has experience with Odo," especially gets on my nerves. That is not a wording that would be used by a man who sees Odo as his son or as a sentient being. That's how you talk about a feral animal or a science experiment. Frankly, I think Mora does see Odo as a science experiment. He's curious about Odo's interests only to the point that he thinks it's curious that Odo can have any interests or preferences at all. He doesn't actually respect Odo as a person - he only sees him as something to study.

There's a very small amount of conversation between them at the very end of the episode where Mora says that he never knew how Odo felt about their time at the lab, and Odo agrees to let Mora be a small part of his life going forward, which is supposed to be a start down the road to reconciliation, but it doesn't feel earned. It's cheap and, honestly, a little insulting.

Already, I do not like this man, but the episode The Begotten is where things really go downhill. This episode is supposed to show a proper reconciliation between Odo and Mora. It tries to iron out all of the resentment that Odo still holds about how he was treated at the lab.

It fails, utterly.

This episode starts when Quark acquires an ill changeling infant. Odo is the one to recognize the changeling for what it is, and takes it upon himself to try to teach the changeling about the world and how to shapeshift - made more difficult by the fact that Odo is still stuck in his Humanoid form.

Sisko suggests that Odo get the help of Dr. Mora, citing the fact that Mora had worked with a baby changeling before. Odo flatly refuses. Mora shows up anyways, entirely uninvited, and Odo does not want Mora anywhere near the infant - and certainly not without supervision. We know that Mora's methods for 'training' Odo involved pain and discomfort, and Odo is opposed to allowing the same methods to be used on the infant. He wants to take his time, and let the infant grow and learn at its own pace. But the changeling is slow to learn, and Starfleet is impatient, and, eventually, Odo is coerced into using pain to force the infant to change its shape. This works, and both Odo and Mora are delighted. Both acknowledge the utility of the other's method - Mora says that Odo was correct to build a connection with the infant, because it clearly likes him, while Odo says that the pain was also necessary.

This is supposed to be read as a good thing. The use of electricity and other pain-inducing methods is, I believe, supposed to be read as a 'necessary evil' - like requiring a child to eat their greens or take a bath when they don't want to. It claims that Dr. Mora just wanted what was best for Odo, and that he loves Odo. It even goes so far as to imply that Odo is being cruel to Mora, by keeping him at a distance and not forgiving him for the past.

In my opinion, that is an absolute load of hogwash. What I see is not a parent who tried their hardest but was flawed. I see a man who tortured a child, and now refuses to understand why the child may resent that. Part of the issue is just that it's a really shitty analogy. There is no world in which tossing a child into a Pain Machine is the same as requiring a child to comply with a set bedtime. It's abuse, straight up. I cannot see that as anything other than Mora deliberately causing actual pain to a literal infant. Frankly I do not care that it "got a result"

Now, it's true that, with Odo, Mora did not initially know he was working with a sentient being. But firstly, that excuse doesn't apply to the new changeling child, and secondly, he never once truly apologizes. Throughout, he maintains that what he did was justified because it got results. Even when he acknowledges that Odo's method of building a connection with the child helped, he still believes that the pain he caused was necessary, and that Odo's resentment of him is nothing more than an overreaction.

The episode seems to agree with him. The episode, in fact, seems to think that Odo should be the one apologizing to Mora for not forgiving him sooner! Everything we've seen of how Odo interacts with Mora suggests that Odo was traumatized by him (and I do mean literally traumatized, not just the way the word is now used in pop-culture), and somehow the episode appears more concerned with the fact that Mora is hurt that he's not allowed a place in Odo's life. Odo's discomfort around Mora and around letting Mora near the child is seen as irrational.

Mora never actually acknowledges faults in how he treated Odo. He apologizes that Odo felt hurt, but never actually accepts that he caused it, and when pressed, deflects blame onto the Cardassians and deadlines. This is mirrored in the episode by Starfleet and Sisko giving Odo deadlines re: the infant's development. Odo only turns to using pain on the child because he's running out of time - and then he does use pain, and the infant responds, and Odo decides that Using Pain On Children Is Good. This was written as a spot for Odo to relate to what Mora went through and to sympathize with him, with understanding paving the road for reconciliation, but it just. it pisses me off. This is just the fucking cycle of violence, illustrated in full-color.

(I also disagree with how they wrote Sisko in the episode, tbh. That man adores babies. You cannot convince me that he could hear the word "baby" and not immediately do everything in his power to protect the changeling baby from Starfleet pressure. Like, c'mon.)

So, while the episode sees a 'reconciliation', I see a man who was abused by his father-figure slowly get coerced into using the exact same methods, and then decide that they were correct and justified after all. It reads like a horror story, to me. The message seems to be, "you should forgive your abusers if they're your parent," with a side of, "corporeal punishment is fine and often good, actually," and a little dash of, "it's cruel to go no-contact with your parent, because you owe them for raising you. it doesn't matter what they did to earn that treatment - you're overreacting."

Obviously, I don't believe this is what the writers tried to write. But it sure is what it looks like to me! And I know that I'm not the only one who reads the episode this way.

To be clear, I don't hate Mora because I think he's an abusive 'father' - though I do, certainly, think that - I hate Mora because the writers were entirely unwilling to acknowledge that he's abusive in any real capacity. They wrote an abuser who was actively abusing, on screen, and pretended he was just a normal loving father who screwed up a little, and who didn't deserve how poorly he was being treated. They could have done fantastic things with him! Instead they blindly wrote... that.