#and they dont see each other for like 5 years
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The good ending
#okay so like my oc lore is that Sitri used to be dating quinton#but after his dad went missing quinton broke up with sitri and told fir to leave because quinton was afriad of sitri getting hurt#but he didnt say that part#so sitri like. detests quinton after that#and they dont see each other for like 5 years#and sitri meets yuma and the gang and becomes like a older sibling/parental figure to yuma so fi follows yuma around everywhere#to like. make sure he doesnt get hurt or killed yk#and sitri and astral are like down bad for each other but dont really wanna say anything#after the kite and yuma vs quattro and trey duel sitri ends up finding yuma#and being like “where did you run off to”#only for him to see quinton again#and fi gets like#super mad#toxic yaoi doomed lovers#quinton spends a good chunk of his time around sitri being like “please can we at least be friends”#and sitri is like “no u ass”#and then quinton explains himself#and sitri is like “oh no”#because now fi is stuck in the middle between two people who are down bad for fir#i dont really like doing love triangle stuff so their poly#yugioh#ygo#art#yugioh zexal#ygo zexal#astral yugioh#oc x canon#quinton yugioh#christopher arclight
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I need to be weirder about the scavengers and cannibalism...
#its been a long day... but im feeling better now. (thanks for the well wishes and such btw <3-)#(-sending my well wishes in return by tenfold bcs. damn. it seems stuff is really going around rn)#but yeah... just. augh. theres just smth about how the scavs sorta translate into more like. thriller-esque genres pretty well?#like. i feel somehow those themes compliment their characteristics? or could compliment their characteristics in a more rounded out way#sure. theyre generally a light hearted romp of absurdity with occasional themes of a not good not bad handling of 'mental health matters'#but they just really shine a bit in horrific circumstances. esp with the sort of absurdity they bring to the table#theyre odd people. even in the context of their generally weird and alien universe. and that right there feels like a trove of potential#its like. ok. the lost light crew? also odd. but thats a huge ship. full of people and variety and a sense of purpose and normalcy post-war#(normalcy being. whatever all those background folks were getting up too while plot happened around them. cruise ship stuff ig)#but in contrast. with the w.a.p crew. its an ark class ship with like. a handful of people. and a whole lot of junk and free time#both just cruising through space endlessly for years. one with hundreds of people. and one with like 6 people.#so both are technically isolated when theyre not making pit-stops planet or station side. but again. 100s vs 6 dudes.#think. top of the line cruise ship from hell with a small town sized populace vs a big shitty boat and 6 starving guys#both have the capacity to become case studies in madness. both could do really well thriller wise. but the scavs being a smaller group?#it only being the 6 of them emphasis the isolation perhaps. less variety. less change. same 6 people for 5(?) years#things could get weird fast. codependent mentalities. us vs them mindsets. an otherness about everyone else outside of their group#and then! then you add to the mix the fact that theyre eating/drinking from corpses?! *chefs kiss* awesome. love it.#non-stationary isolation + cannibalism. ough. perfect mix. a classic of maritime horror but in space! :D!#a big ship. small crew. living while knowing that as soon as you kick the bucket. your body is the meal. your body is the fuel.#no decorum about it. no faith. no belief. just perverse survival. bcs they might enjoy it. a bloody gluttony. with a bite. a sample. a taste#it takes seeing your buddy as a walking talking burger to another level. bcs every corpse you come across is also a burger. and a gas can#also fulcrum making candy out of corpses is so. particularly perfect when it comes to the horrifically absurd. just. smth about it. idk#but also also. the line. where was the line drawn for each of them? and when did they each cross it?#most of them dont seem like the type to jump head first into that. so how did they justify it to themselves? had they done it before?#and then. when did it become normal? a habit? smth enjoyable?#i might be running out of tags. but yeah. them being weirder. esp about each other and others.#nothing brings a group of people together like the overhanging knowledge that you sort of kinda wanna eat each other#(rlly wishing i could stomach realistic thrillers rn. but i just cant. gotta stick to written or artistic styles or risk panic attacks :/)#(ive tried a couple movies and shows now. and cant get through most of them. praise be synopses and peoples long rambles about them tho :D)#(nothing like reading someones passionate ramble about the meaning/symbolism of some gory nightmare without having to actually see it lol)
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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*putting a landmine down here* nobody step on this unless you want toxic yuri explosion
#beneath the trees where nobody sees#uhh this is like post-praludium somewhere after 1965-ish#they dated for 5 months. broke up. never spoke to each other for 17 years.#then the perfect circumstance brings up past tension. lol#sam x melody#i dunno dont involve me in that
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Misc. photos from the past year or so ~
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. napping bapy boye sneeping on his own foot as if it were a pillow#2. The little primrose that I have seems to bloom sporadically all year around as long as I bring it inside and don't let it freeze#in the winter. This was a flower that came up randomly like mid november lol#3. Rainbow where you can see a little bit of a second rainbow near the bottom of it :0#4. CHILDREN.... love to see them.....#5. Halloween Candy ranking tierlist. not important enough to post on it's own. so throwing it in with one of these I guess lol#I am also not really a candy person at all and prefer bready stuff like cakes rather than chocolate bars (if I even have to have sweets#at ALL which usually I prefer savory food). I suspect the apple is controversial but.. I do love apples .... huzzah#actually am having applle and peanut butter snack right now as I'm writing this lol#6. Various bowls/cups/etc. that I got from a store at COMPLETELY different times like.. years apart from each other#yet at some point realized that they all mostly match in paint color and seem to be part of the same pattern#But I totally didnt make that connection until a few years ago when I was putting up dishes. I just bought them all invidually because it's#like 'oh cool! a cat' *1 year later* 'oh cool! a cat!' etc. lol.. I guess it must be a popular design if it's been around being sold that#long.#7. carne asada burrito and matcha bubble tea... oughhgh.... again one of my very rare meals where I actually go and get something..#probably my favorite meal currently. Something about the Chronic Anemia makes me crave beef burritos madly despite only having one#maybe twice a year or so ghjbhj.. plus the beans.... onions.... many of my Diet Forbidden foods... Also of course the little aishas#are there.... somehow they shall split the meal together even though it's like 10x bigger than their bodies.. they are also hungry#and vastly anemic... huzzah to them...#8. I've had this shirt for a long time but it fits very weird so I can never find a way to use it in outfits?? But I recently had#an appointment where a doctor needed to be able to look at my back and it's one of the only actual Shirts that I have (mostly i just own#long robes or tunics or jumper dress type of things that would be hard to lift up or etc. like... I dont even own a single normal 't-shirt'#or anyting aside from one giant tshirt that I sleep in in the summer lol.) So I wore this there.. I forget how much I love the pictures on#it.. how pleasant... little hummingbird... AND I think one of the flowers is supposed to be columbine ... !#photo diary
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I really wish that percy would have been left in camp jupiter for long enough for it to have meant something to the story
#seriously he was there for a WEEK#why not play on his fatal flaw and have him integrate and forge unshakeable bonds with the roman demigods#in my ideal world percy was in new rome for 5 years fuck you#he also doesnt get his memories back until he literally sees the ship decending and then they still dont feel like theyre his#its like a story where the characters have come to life#pjo#percy jackson#ik it would have been too much of a jump in the books but it felt so meaningless#all that came out of SoN is percy is friends with hazel and frank now!#which is good but like imagine if they actually new each other for more than a WEEK when they go on the argo
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A thing I just thought now: "Oh, wow, it was less than 8 years? That's a really short time to know anyone before getting married."
The punchline is that I'm aromantic.
#like damn if im gonna ever marry anyone itll be on our deathbed after a life together#the idea of marriage is fucking terrifying#how long do most people know each other before marrying?? lemme look it up#yeah im seeing the average is like 2-5 years and thats too damn short geez#i guess this is just one of those things ill never understand lmao#i think of marriage and i picture like a low budget halloween undead wedding scene with spooky organ music#aromantic#OBLIGATORY: 'DISCLAIMER: i'M HI (HIGH)' TAG#ShitPost.exe#Cori.exe#seriously tho i dont know how people live that fast#cant believe i just realized this was another aro thing i didnt realize was an aro thing#like being creeped out about people getting married young or fast#or i guess the aversion to attending weddings ive had my whole life lmao#wow yeah im a lot more aro than i thought i was lol this was a real introspective line of thought
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i dont wanna eat anything or do anything and i just wanna lay around but i also dont wanna do that and i dont wanna watch anything or read anything and idk what i wanna do
#i was supposed to have someone review my resume and i was banking on the fact that maybe talking to someone instead of being alone in my roo#would help me out but the whole appointment system maker thing was messed up so we couldnt even meet#so i literally hvae nothing better to do than wait the next few days to get back to campus#and i was soooo excited to go back to school and i still am cuz i know itll make me feel better being around people#but im just a lot less excited than i was#cuz i just really really hate the idea of having to spend another fall semester getting over someone#like i couldve probably handled spring semester. but fall semester???? when theres already enough desolateness as it is???#like i just hate hate htae the idea of being on buses and starting to cry again and its midnight at 4pm when im crying#and theres people everywhere and the wrost part is shes literally on the same campus as me!!! so now i might actually see her!!!#and i dont want to!!!#i want to be friends but right now i know if i see her again ill just start sobbing on the spot#i was so excited for thsi fall sem but now im just notttt#and i know ill be busier (hopefully) this sem so im sure ill be better off than last year#but still like. idfk i dont know what to do. i think i just need to hear someone elses voice#im supposed to talk to my friend later today so maybe thatll help#cuz im kinda ready to tell someone about it but what if she telsl me she cant call what am i suppsoed to doooo#cuz last year the person iw as getting over lived a bajillion miles from me so it was easier!!! but she and I live 5 mins from each other#AND SHES FREINDS WITH LIKE ALL MY ROOMMATES#THEYRE ALL HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS !!!!#GODDDD.#i mean there are def upsides to this . for example its good we broke up now#cuz imagine if we broke up cuz of a fight and then thered be a big issue in the friend group#but it ended well and i dont think our friends / roommates will be 'picking sides'#as long as i just dont do anything drastic lol#adn who knows maybe our friendship will bounce back and i really hope it does!!#but she and i didnt start off as friends we kinda went into this knowing we were into each other to begin with#so like how do i be friends with her you know???#and friendship is soo important to me so its not like i dont want to be friends with her. i really really do. i just dont know how itll wor#like i value friendship over romantic relationships any day but also our relationship felt so deep to me#which is why im scared that we wont be friends even though i know we both want to be
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#yazs reaction fjkghgjhg#DIFFICULT PEOPLE INDEED#yEARS longer she does this#this is like 2 years in#she does like idk who can keep track 5 years more??#maybe just around mummy on the orient express is a good timing for clara actually#maybe just before or just after#just after feels like an understanding reached right? just like yaz and 13 have an understanding after lotsd#might be a good timing#but also then maybe you dont have enough frustration anymore on both their parts#would be more fun if you got them both at a time where they can let off some steam by yelling and agreeing with each other hgjfkhgjk#would be interesting bc yaz wouldnt immediatley do that#like to a stranger yazs first instinct is to back the doctor always#so clara would have to........idk. clara would maybe see the same frustration with yaz that she feels and she like#corners yaz alone while 13 and 12 are having a go at each other#and she knows exactly what to say#unfortunately i dont know clara well enough to write this
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should i start a fight with my best friend 🙃
#im coming back home from the holidays for like a week and a fucking half and somehow we’re just not gonna have time to see each other??#‘if our schedules dont work babe they dont work’ as in like a ‘dont worry about seeing little ol’ me!’ way but also like. fuck off.#am i the only one who wants us to see each other?#you can’t rearrange some plans with anyone that you have 24 hour access to for your best friend who you see like 5 times a year?#’i have plans with my sister’ your sister that you LIVE WITH??#like. maybe it’s unreasonable for me to expect her to change her plans but not for me to change mine but actually no its not unreasonable#because IM the one who’s visiting like. i have a billion ppl i have to see in this week and a half because im not going to be here after.#YOU live here. you can literally see these ppl and do these things whenever.#but if i say any of this then what. we fight and i dont see her at all??#and also like.. im not gonna ask you to want to spend time with me please and thank you!!#long distance fucking SUCKS#m
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thinking
#ghosts rambles#woke uo. i am somewhat awake#ive been kind if realizing how im starting to prefer drawing ghostoro instead of shinushi… like#i dont want to stop drawin shinushi all together but i dont think i developed their dynamic enough to be appealing to me#so i draw ghostoro instead because i gave them the “normal couple” dynamic. like theyre not overly in love w each other but#<- they still know that the other loves them compassionately. regardless if they say or show it which leaves room for experimentation#and the fact it has more like plot development to it??? CHARACTER PROGRESSION. THATS THE WORD#ive said what ghost’s purpose was in oso san before but ill say it again. they help choro be put into his place and humble him So much#come 5 years later hes a completely changed man#maybe because they bounce off of each other well. both are short tempered but one knows how to control it and the other lets it get to him#IDK… ive been seeing it a lot more lately#again i dont wanna stop drawing shinushi buts its like. i need to work on it before im passionate ab them as much as i am w ghostoro
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*spongebob's hawaiian cocktail playing* I'm gonna end up texting first like always aren't I
#bro i feel so lonely 😭#if i text this one friend and actually say yes im most likely gonna feel even shittier afterwards like always but like#i dont have. a lot of options to choose from. haha#:(#i wish i still had people that wanted to hang out with me i have to do everything lately#and i feel like such a burden asking people to put up with me#i passed near an ex friends house today so im feeling too nostalgic ig#tengo que levantar la pala de una buena vez asi no tengo tiempo para nada. ni para sentirme mal#haunted.txt#i do all the reaching out on this one friendship in particular#be it trying to check on her. just talk or visit#i dont mind going to buenos aires but it would be nice if we could hang out here sometimes#and I KNOW she comes here sometimes. she just never wants to see me in particular when she does :(#she always has other stuff going on the few times we hang out so she will either be ignoring me#or doing whatever else she needs to do while i wait outside or drag behind her#which i dont mind usually! i love acompanying friends to do whatever tasks they need to do#but when i see a friend i had to travel 2 hours to get there and we see each other maybe two times a year#it would be nice if at least i could talk to them for more than 5 minutes you know :)#im probably complaining about stupid stuff
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not a phan-blog anymore but I felt like this needed to be recirculated again
just gotta say the speculation into dans gender is really sad and hurtful to see. it genuinely bothers me that people really saw everything this man (and trans people) had to go thru over the past decade and said
"lets try that again but even worse this time!"
-
i have personally gone thru this kind of invasive speculation; being harassed into publicly answering questions i didn't even get a chance to ask myself.
every outfit. how my hair looked. the way i sit. how i carried myself. what my interests were. my sexuality. what position i prefer in bed. everything. everything was used to prove or dispute any speculation about me.
it was extremely traumatic, painful and scary
i wound up being forcibly outed and put into serious danger over stuff like this.
Please Stop
people can cross dress or be androgynous and still be cis/binary. and that is okay.
#read prev tags#dont dm me to argue#im really not interested in engaging with 95% of the phandom#hurts to see this shit over and over again#not entirely related to current discourse but still important#i made this post almost a year ago and nothing has changed 🙃#not only has it not changed#its gotten worse#*sighs dramatically*#im not even like angry or upset about it anymore#its just fucking annoying and almost laughable#and i mean that about all of the different discourse thats been happening over the past 4-5 months#can we like talk about their content and their world fucking tour instead of speculating about their personal lives#beyond what they share with us#like they share so much (almost too much) about themselves and each other and people still want more#why?#being more obsessed with the lives of two people you haven't ever met than you are with your own is not healthy please realize that#and they are never going to 100% line up with your personal views and beliefs#they are never going to be perfect#they are never going to be able to see every single fan in every part of the world#some places are not safe for lgbt+ and others require heavy censorship#and they could be banned from those countries or face jail time for violating the guidelines that they are given in order to enter/perform#i could go on and on about this but i really don't feel like dealing with rude anons in my dms#my opinion on these things will not change#phan#dan and phil#dip and pip#dan howell#phil lester#phandom
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I've never had a dramatic breakup like it's usually on good terms and then we keep in touch for a bit and slowly drift apart. Which is exactly what happened this time except I'm wayy more upset abt it than I should be.
#i think its probably bc we knew each other for like. 5 years prior to dating... 7 in total.#and also this has been my longest relationship#like i havent been single in 2 years which isnt a crazy long time but it is to me as a 22 y/o#idk if i'll date around in Toronto or not#i think i need to be single again for at least this next semester. like. celibate single.#and then we will see how i feel after that + if i even have time for it.#and hopefully i dont get celibacy induced brainrot like i did circa 2021#txt
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day 302903203 of youtubers i follow saying the most autistic shit on this goddamn earth
#'i'm not like this in real life!' proceeds to explain how every seemingly neurotypical trait about them is a performance#i make it a point to never ever leave comments etc being like 'thats autistic bro' but. thats autistic bro#i genuinely hope so so bad that they know this about themselves and are just not saying it outright for privacy reasons#i also don't want to make it seem like im slapping labels or explaining others' experiences to them but the popular lack of understanding#of what autism actually looks like#leading to people not even considering it when after 5+ years of being around autistic ppl and being autistic myself#i can tell theyd at least profit from a proper consideration#is so maddening#also knowing adhd and autism are genetic and having one in the family meaning u very likely have the other as well#is so so important#(bcs we attract each other even when we dont know how to call ourselves)#i recognize its ridiculous to be frustrated abt this with literal strangers but i am also frustrated abt it w professors and classmates etc#i have the 'impatient when knows the answer and ppl dont get it' disease#thankfully i keep this to myself and my blog so i never bother anyone w it nor do i rush them before theyre ready to think abt it#so it's basically contained to my head and thus perfectly fine#but mutuals will see this as is the ecosystem standard and go 'ok' and thats all we ever need#dan talks
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low-key pisses me off that ppl are so resistant to Joe and Nicky having bigger interpersonal issues sometimes and often justify it with "they would have solved these hurdles far longer ago" like things and feelings and also the world around them can't change??? like the only conflict in a story about them is allowed to be external forces acting upon them? sometimes I think you guys don't even want a story
#its fun when they also have agency sometimes guys come on#like we cant only be thinking about joenicky get unwillingly separated and are sad/scared/angry/grieving about it story number 5 billion.#the only criticism i do agree with generally is that nicky in the comics is constantly said to be kind but not shown lmao#another issue i have is that like. andy gets to be jaded and bitter most of the time and while joe and nicky do keep each other on far#better tracks bc they renew faith through each other i dont think its hard to imagine at all after a thousand years that you never turn down#a path that maybe you dont intend or dont see eye to eye on. why is that so hard to believe#also i see people going like 'um but what nicky is doing is sort of fucked up' YEAH THAT WAS THE POINT NO???#a naive melody we sing anyway#my thoughts#was that not the pointttttt nicky literally does respond he doesnt quite know how to parse himself on the issue completely and it IS#AN AMBIGUOUS QUESTION why do think a comics anthology is going to give you the answer#sigh whatever. anyway
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