#and they don’t have that big of a height difference in my opinion

[weirdddgirl]

Dorcas and Sirius have almost beat each other up multiple times.

[vivmaek]

MARS SIGN OBSERVATIONS

♂ Pisces Mars - I think Lennie Small from “Of Mice and Men,” would have this placement. This is a person who is seemingly harmless, and yet they still managed to cause harm and destruction through indirect action. When looking at someone with a Pisces Mars, their innocence and an assumed lack of strength is noticed first. These are kind people. They would rather harm themselves over another person. Their first instinct isn’t to attack, but to defend. When angry, they appear to be caught up within a panic. A Pisces Mars is driven by their big dreams. They might not always know what they want out of life, and their goals and ambitions may change frequently. This does not mean that they are incapable of finding success. If anything, their unwavering belief in themselves and their ability to achieve the impossible is what takes them to great heights. Hope is everything for someone with this placement, it’s what gets them out of bed in the morning. 

♂ Aquarius Mars - It's hard to pin someone with this placement down. Their actions don’t make sense to other people. Aquarius does a good job showing its eccentricity through Mars. The rules of society and the opinions of others do not dictate their actions. These types are constantly surprising people, and they like this. The public will often speculate about those with an Aquarius Mars. Theories are formed about them, no one can guess what they’re going to do next. In my opinion, this is the most rebellious Aquarius placement. They live their life in a manner that is truly unconventional. People with this placement are not aggressive, but they are clever. They like outsmarting people. A sense of superiority can sometimes act as a driving force. They go out of their way to make the people around them feel stupid if they’re in a foul mood. Their need for independence will never be forsaken. 

♂ Capricorn Mars - Hard work doesn’t scare these people off. They’ll put in whatever energy is needed to complete a project or endeavor. A strong sense of ambition and an excellent sense of focus are traits commonly seen with this placement. They’re quite secure in themselves and exercise self control through all their actions. Discipline motivates them. They take their responsibilities seriously and expect others to do the same. A Capricorn Mars goes above and beyond what is expected of them. They do this through a step-by-step process and practical planning. Cutting corners or taking the easy way out is something you’d never catch them doing. These types want to maintain control over every aspect of their life. They become angry when plans are thrown into a disarray through unexpected events. “Going with the flow,” is not a strong suit of theirs. Their need for security is what motivates them. 

♂ Sagittarius Mars - People with this placement are incredibly restless. They lack patience and need many different outlets to pour their energy into. They are easy going but are also quickly overtaken by passion. Crossing their moral beliefs is a good way to get them riled up. They like to believe that their opinions are more intellectual than they are emotional. When angry they like to get up on a soap box to lecture people. When people don’t agree with them, it can sometimes feel like criticism. They also don’t consider how their tendency to dish out brutal honesty may actually be more hurtful than it is impactful. They often act as a spark that ignites fire, in both a positive and a negative way.

♂ Scorpio Mars - The definition of “moving in silence.” Lots of people claim to do this, but a Scorpio Mars wouldn’t be caught making such a claim. They’re smarter than that. They know that hardship and struggle are inevitable. This does not scare them, but they also don’t fight against the natural currents of life. During certain points, their sense of ambition is so relentless that it becomes obsessive. But, this can only last so long. Rest and recuperation is a process they embrace. After acting on an immense level of concentration for a long period of time, they will need to take a step back to reassess goals. Rather than just accepting things for the way they are, a Scorpio Mars would rather make changes. If they feel that a path is ill-suited for them, they’re not afraid to change directions. Starting from zero is not discouraging and it is something that motivates these types. They have the power to turn nothing into something great. 

♂ Libra Mars - Mars is uncomfortable being in Libra. People with this placement often struggle with taking action and are as indecisive as they come. They get caught up in what's fair and what isn’t. They have a strong need to strike equality and want every situation to be as balanced as possible. Some might be surprised to know that the ultimate desire for these types is to garner a sense of peace. They might unintentionally stir the pot through their inability to take a strong stance on something. They want to weigh all the options possible and can become stressed trying to do so. Being passive-aggressive is also something that's frequently seen with this placement. These types think they’re being nice when in reality they’re making people uncomfortable through their fear of being direct. They’re sneaky when faced with conflict but also good at leading people into a resolution. 

[party-hearses]

relax, baby | joel miller x f!reader

pairing: joel miller x f!reader (NO USE OF Y/N)

rating: explicit, 18+ MDNI

wordcount: 5k

summary: joel is full of surprises at work.

series warnings/tags: pwp, explicit smut, v fingering, brief oral (f receiving), unprotected piv, creampie, pet names (princess, baby), language, no cordyceps outbreak, lmk if i’m forgetting anything. honestly, this is just filth.

author's note: i wrote this instead of doing homework. my smut abilities are a little rusty, so here’s my attempt at getting them working again. feedback and reblogs are appreciated if you enjoy! <3

“‘Sposed to be a scorcher today.”

“‘Sposed to be a scorcher every fucking day,” you mumble into the receipt book splayed open in front of you.

He isn’t wrong, of course. Just irritating. The Texas summer heat is unrelenting at best, but it’s not anything new.

“What was that, princess?”

You grimace at the nickname. Stupid fucking Joel Miller, your brother’s boss, taunting you while he rummages through the filing cabinet shoved into the corner of the room opposite you.

Your boss, now, too. Sort of.

“Nothin’.”

“S’what I thought.” He pulls his body up to its full height, having found what he was searching for. He holds the file of paperwork in his hands like a prize, slamming the drawer of the unit shut. “You’re lucky to have AC in here, princesa. Not like the rest of the guys, out there in the sun.”

You roll your eyes skyward at the jab. It hadn’t taken long for you to be branded with different variations of the nickname, which, much to your chagrin, isn’t even inventive. The names the guys call you usually revolve around your new position as “office admin” (a made up term), and the considerable comfort (if it could be called that) it offers. Low hanging fruit, in your opinion.

Your brother tells you to laugh it off, to take it as a compliment. A means of being accepted. It’s not worth the argument about power dynamics and the stigma of being a woman in a male dominated profession, especially for a temporary position, so you do your best to ignore it. It’s not like your brother would understand your points, anyway.

“You’re the boss, Joel. You don’t have to be — out there.” You wave your hand at the window, grimy with dust and…grime. Unknown construction grime. Men, you shudder.

“Oh, yeah? Guess I could just post up in here all day with you, huh?” He’s looking at you now, hands on his hips, smirk pulled across his mouth. He grips the file in his hand against his waist, strong fingers nearly crumpling it in half.

He’s irritating, but fuck, if he isn’t gorgeous. All taut muscles, graying scruff, and big, sad, brown eyes. It’s hard to keep your own eyes off him regularly, but it’s an exercise in futility the rare times you’re alone with him.

But you shrug, coolly, playing off the damning attraction you feel towards him. “I don’t care what you do, Miller.”

“Yeah?” he breathes, and he’s there, across the desk from you, palms planted face-down on the cool wood, chin dipped.

You swallow hard, meeting his smoldering eyes. It’s impossible not to notice his tee shirt, Miller Construction scrawled across the left breast, pulling against his chest and biceps. He’s so fucking big.

“You should care, sweetheart, ‘cause you run—” He leans in closer.

“—the whole—” Closer still.

“—fucking—”

You can smell the cedar and sawdust on him. The distinctly masculine scent. it makes your head swim.

“—office,” He finishes, inches away from your face.

Your eyes widen.

“I mean- uh, well, of cou-“ you stutter, but he’s laughing, pulling away.

Narrowing your eyes, you slam the receipt book shut. “Shouldn’t you be at a different site? Not here, bothering me?”

He grins, still chuckling lowly, permanently-tousled curls begging to be pulled.

“You tell me,” he says, gesturing to the now-closed notebook with his chiseled jaw. “You’re my keeper, ain’t ya?”

This fucking guy.

You blow the air out of your cheeks, exasperated.

“I am not,” you say slowly, through gritted teeth, “your keeper. I am helping you out by cleaning up your books and organizing some schedules, while I’m home for the summer. As a favor to my brother.”

He tilts his head, grin giving way to a sly smile. Saying nothing.

“Wouldn’t be working in a fucking trailer for anyone else,” you grumble pointedly, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I am payin’ ya, though.”

Joel tosses the file in front of you and drags a chair from the other side of the room — other side of the trailer — to a stop in front of the desk you’re seated at. He plants himself in it, kicking his feet up on the top of the desk.

“For real?” you cry, throwing your hands above your shoulders.

He laughs. He fucking laughs.

“Take it easy, princess. If I’m the boss, and I’m kickin’ back, why are you so high strung?”

Your brow furrows, but you don’t respond.

This strange, almost playful Joel is under your skin more than usual. It might be the heat (you won’t give him the satisfaction of admitting it), or the clusterfuck of receipts you should be reconciling (that he gave you at the last minute) — but you suspect the annoyance comes from his newfound interest in teasing you.

You suddenly miss the silent, brooding Joel Miller. The one who left you alone to do your work.

“I’m trying to help you,” you finally spit.

“You can help me by relaxin’, darlin’.” His voice is suddenly low, a deep timbre that vibrates your bones. “Do I need to help you do that?”

His words shoot straight to your cunt.

Instinctually, you press your thighs together, squirming in your seat.

It’s been too long since you’ve been touched, since you’ve been handled properly — the only viable hook-up options in your hometown being the losers you’d gone to high school with, which made them, well…not viable options.

Your body betrays you, need building low in your belly, and of course Joel notices the way you shift in the chair.

The entire tone of the room shifts, if you’re being honest.

“Oh,” his eyes as dark as his voice now, “you do need my help.”

You freeze. Everything in his voice spells t-r-o-u-b-l-e.

“No,” you squeak, “I- I-“

“You, what, baby?” It’s a taunting lilt now, and you feel like every nerve ending you have is melting straight off your body. He quirks his brow at you.

Baby, baby, baby, echoing in your ears.

He raises his body out of the chair, squaring his broad shoulders, and you think your heart might stop.

Making his way around the desk, hands ghosting the edges of the worn wood, his eyes burn into yours.

“So lucky all my guys are out at other sites, baby.” He’s whispering now, dragging his knuckle across your cheek, closer than he’s ever been to you. Looking down at you from his towering height. “So I can help you relax.”

There are stars in your eyes. You don’t even like this man, but his hands on you feel so good.

It’s surreal. You’re just a deer caught in the headlights, looking up at him with your big doe-eyes.

Prey.

You’re sure he’ll pull away again, laugh at you — laugh at the way your pulse picks up under his touch. How it beats against your skin like a bass drum.

But he doesn’t. Instead, he twists his wrist to cup your jaw, strong fingers digging into your flesh. Your lips part involuntarily, a quiet moan escaping.

“Wanna fuck you, princess.” His words are sticky honey in your ears, the nickname hot on his tongue. “Been wantin’ to fuck you.”

All you can do is nod. You’re done for. Putty in his hands, now.

“Can I do that? Fuck you?” He drops to a crouch in front of you, sliding his hand down your flushed skin to your throat, angling his fingers, the delicate webbing between his index finger and thumb pressed right to the base of your neck. He squeezes so so so gently — just enough to make you chase his touch.

“Yes.”

His eyes are black, pupils blown out in arousal. “You’ll be good for me?”

“I’ll be good for you,” you repeat obediently. Quietly. Only for him.

It doesn’t feel like you’re in control of the words leaving your mouth.

He crashes his mouth into yours, taking, taking, taking. Massaging your bottom lip with his scorching tongue, he begs for entrance — and you know in this moment, you will never deny him a single thing.

He licks into you with such a feverish intensity that you have to throw your arms around his shoulders just to remain steady. This action seems to spur him on, as he slides both his hands around your hips, one pulling you closer to him while the other crawls up to cradle the base of your skull, fingers threaded into your hair. He’s crouched over you entirely, nearly dragging you off the office chair. Your own fingers dig into the shoulders of his shirt, his thick muscles dragging you closer and closer to him.

Small in his hands, he breaks his mouth from yours only to haul you up and around, pressing your belly against the desk, your arms jelly as they brace against the sturdiness of the wood. He pulls your shirt up and over your shoulders from the back, peppering kissing up the exposed flesh of your spine, before discarding the garment on the floor. Your bra is next, and he wastes no time in chucking it too, to the floor and using his big hands to cup your pert tits from behind. His whole body is pressed against yours, the buckle of his belt scraping against the small of your back.

“Knew you’d have perfect tits,” he growls, next to your ear. His fingers expertly roll your nipples, massaging them into tight points. It makes you want to cry out. He licks a broad stripe up your throat, nipping the skin just above your shoulder, and this time, you do cry out.

“Be loud for me, baby. Wanna make you feel good.”

“What if s-someone hea-“ you start nervously, your voice shaking as much as your limbs.

Bracing his mouth against yours again, tongue forcing its way in to explore every inch, he cuts off the question you were going to ask.

Ignores the question.

He moves his mouth down your neck again, fingers still kneading against your nipples. Your eyes flick to the deadbolt of the door anxiously, but an extra-hard pinch pulls your focus back as you moan involuntarily. Loudly.

Obviously enjoying himself, he drops one hand to your tummy, sliding it over your soft skin to the band of your shorts.

“Gonna take these off now, okay, baby?” he asks between kisses and nips against your flesh, peppered with goosebumps.

You nod hurriedly. Need thrums in your ears, washes everything except his voice out.

His hand still cupping your breast joins the other in unbuttoning your shorts, and they’re off in record time. They fall to your feet, and you kick them off haphazardly, not caring where they end up.

The only thing separating Joel from you now is your panties, black and lacy and soaked.

You recognize, dismayed, that he still has all of his clothes on, but he’s too busy with his hands on you to notice.

He turns you around to face him, stepping back just enough to rake his eyes over every inch of you. You steady yourself on the edge of the desk with your hands, the hard corner biting into the soft flesh of the backs of your thighs.

“Fu-u-u-ck.” He lets out a low whistle, and for a brief second, you want to cover your body with your arms, slink away shyly.

But he has his hand cupped around your sex lightning fast, and he groans, low and primal.

“You’re so fuckin’ wet for me, baby. Soakin’ through your panties.”

He ducks against your neck again, landing kisses down the length of it, but going further this time, down your breast to take your nipple into his mouth. He suckles gently, hand moving back and forth over the white heat of your cunt, and you arch your back against him. Your body filled with a furious tension, tight as a bowstring.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Take y-your shirt off,” you demand suddenly, your hands scrambling for purchase on the the scratchy material.

He pulls back from you, and you’re left panting, three quarters naked. Nipples impossibly hard from both his mouth and the air conditioning, and you can tell he’s inconvenienced to be pulled away from them.

But he acquiesces, shucking his shirt off quickly, desperate to lave his tongue over your flesh again.

You take him in in the entirety that he’s allowed you — strong but soft, body molded by years of manual labor, rough hands desperate to be stroking you.

Not allowing you too much time, he resumes his stance in a hurry, splaying his hands across your back, nibbling lightly at the supple flesh of your breasts. He runs his tongue over the heavy curve of it, before dragging it across the plane of your chest to the opposite side, taking your other nipple into the heat of his mouth.

Keening under his touch, you mewl his name. Desperate.

“I know, baby. I know.” It’s muffled against the weight of your breast. His teeth just grazing the tender flesh.

He brings one hand around to the front of your panties again, teasing the band stretched over the place your thigh meets your pelvis with his calloused fingertips. The bite of them scrape a heavenly sting against your softness.

You rock your hips up into his palm, begging. Please, please, please. He chuckles lowly against your skin, still biting gently at your nipple, your knuckles white on the edge of the desk.

He breaks his mouth off of you, looking up to meet your eyes through his long, dark lashes.

There’s still one of his hands steady on your back, and combined with the way he’s got himself pressed against you, you’re sure he’s the only reason you’re somewhat vertical right now. The bones in your legs threaten to give out the more attention he pays your body. He ruts his erect length against your thigh.

“You want it so bad, don’t you?”

“Want it so bad,” you echo — his plaything.

“Should’ve asked me a long time ago. Teasin’ me constantly. Makin’ me fuck my fist at night like a teenage boy.” He straightens his body, allowing his thumb to dance over your clit through the material of your panties, but refusing to make direct contact. Making you chase the feeling with your hips.

The notion that he’s ever thought of you in that way makes your cunt tingle.

“Need it, Joel.”

You don’t have the words to tell him how long you’ve thought about him, how even though he pisses you off, you’ve wanted him to fuck you over this very desk since you started working for him. How it’s been too long since you’ve been touched and now you think you’re ruined in the most delectable way.

With a dark smile against your skin, he finally moves his hand over just enough, sliding four fingers down the front of your panties, thumb still on the outside, and fists the thin material. It rips down the seams, and in one smooth motion, he pulls the ruined lace from your body.

You gasp, cold air hitting your cunt.

He takes the destroyed scrap of material and palms his hard cock through his jeans, rubbing the lace against the front of himself. It’s obscene, and you can’t take your eyes off it.

Fighting to catch your breath, overwhelmed by his touch, you watch as he pulls back to shove what used to be your panties in his front pocket before unbuckling his belt, snapping it quickly out of the loops, hands flying then to unbutton and unzip his jeans. He finally shoves them down to knees, the length of them bunching up over his work boots.

Left in his boxers, you can see the thick outline of his cock, and he’s huge.

You had expected him to be big — like, look at him — but it’s more than you could have fathomed.

Your eyes drag from the heavy bulge back up to his face, and he must clock the apprehension in your eyes, because he extends his hand to your cheek, cupping it tenderly.

“Promise I’ll make it feel good. Won’t put it in until you’re ready.”

His hands are large enough over your face that his thumb traces the outline of your parted lips. Without thinking, you open further to accept it inside, swirling your scorching tongue around the digit.

His eyes darken further, though you didn’t know it possible.

“Oh, baby. Baby.”

His head falls back, jaw slack, enjoying the sensation of your mouth on him.

With his other hand, he slides his fingers through your swollen, dripping folds, gathering your slick on the rough tips. He circles your hole with his middle finger, and you can feel yourself clenching around nothing, needing.

“This okay?” he asks quietly, and you pause, meeting his gaze with your own. As calm and collected as he looks, his voice shakes just enough to tell you that he’s rehearsed this scene in his head so many times.

You don’t really know how you got here, if you’re being honest, but…

“Want you so bad, Joel,” you whisper, thoughts hazy, pupils blown out.

“Gonna fuck you ‘til all you can say is my name,” he whispers back gruffly.

It makes your cunt clench, his finger still poised there. Your chest rises and falls with ragged breath, anticipating. You can’t imagine how fucked-out you look right now, but based on the way he’s drinking you in, he loves it.

He finally presses his single finger inside of you, groaning at the warmth.

“So tight for me, princesa.”

The nickname hits differently this time — intimate. Filthy. Filling you with desperation.

You cry out at the stretch, his hands so much bigger than your own. One finger of his is the size of two of yours, and you’ve never felt so full. You snake your arms around his shoulders, letting him hold you up, his other hand falling from your cheek to resume it’s place at the small of your back, as he slowly starts a rhythm of fucking into you. His palm stutters against your clit, and you can feel your slick dripping down onto it.

It’s so much.

Your senses are overloaded with him, and he hasn’t even put his cock in you, yet.

He does, however, nudge a second finger at your entrance, and it’s enough to make you drop your forehead onto his broad shoulder, his muscles rippling as his wrist and fingers move against you.

You press your open mouth into his shoulder, muffling your cries.

Sliding his ring finger in beside the other, he scissors them, stretching you open, open, open, while at the same time he performs a much more precise ministration on your clit, rubbing small circles that make you squeeze your eyes shut. Chests pressed flush against one another, he buries his face in the length of your hair.

Despite the air conditioner, the room is humid with body heat, and sweat starts to collect at your temples. Every inch of your skin is flushed, Joel breathing heavily next to your ear.

“Want you to come for me, baby. Can’t fuck you right ‘til you come for me.”

You lean further into his body, under the trance of the rhythm of his fingers. He drags his free hand up the length of your back to wrap around your hair, gently pulling your head back to look into your eyes.

“uh-uh, baby. Wanna see you. Don’t hide.”

Your cheeks flush crimson, your eyes half-lidded, lips kiss-swollen. Seeing the way he studies you, the tip of his tongue resting on the pillow of his top lip, his fingers so big inside of you — your orgasm approaches quickly, your hips working with his hand to get you there.

Your breathing starts to stutter, and his eyes are on fire watching you. Memorizing every movement you make, how he’s taken you apart at the seams. He speeds up the movement of his thumb, just slightly, but it’s enough to tip you over the edge.

Convulsing around his thick fingers, you cry out, loud, loud, loud. The deadbolt on the door a distant memory.

In fact, you dare someone to walk in. To fuck with Joel Miller taking what he needs from you. They’d never recover.

“Yes, baby. Look so fuckin’ beautiful coming all over my fingers,” he growls, fucking you through the electric waves rolling through your body, tugging your hair harder.

He’s kissing you again, swallowing your remaining moans into his mouth, and you feel like you’ll never recover. You may never walk again — and it’s just his fingers.

Sliding his fingers out of your pulsing pussy, he drags them over to your hip, your own slick smeared across your abdomen. He drops his other hand to your other hip, and before you know what’s happening, he’s lifting you up on top of the desk. On top of the files, and receipts, and work you’d just been doing.

If he doesn’t care, then neither do you.

Obediently leaning back on your elbows, he sets you far enough back that he can hook his hands under your knees to pull them closer to you, your tennis shoes dangling between you. It makes you giggle, which makes him smirk.

But it’s only a second before he’s pushing your knees back again, opening you up to him. His eyes drop to your glistening pussy, pink and swollen from his fingers.

“Fuck, baby. Don’t know how long I’ve been waitin’ to see this little pussy,” he hisses, before dropping his head to lick a hot stripe up your wet center.

“Holy shit, Joel,” you breathe, “that feels so good.”

He licks his lips, your sweetness shiny on his beard. “Next time I’ll make you come with just my mouth, baby. Need’ta fuck you, now.” His voice is low, but the promise of next time wraps itself around your chest and squeezes.

You bite your lip, nodding, watching him through your lashes.

He gently sets your legs down enough that your feet drop to the top of the desk, but he keeps one hand on your thigh to keep you open for him — exposed.

“Won’t ever get tired of lookin’ at that pussy, baby,” he coos, “so keep it open for me.”

You’ve never been talked to this way before, and it sets your skin alight. Never been handled this way before.

You’re so fucked.

With his free hand he shoves his boxers down, his hard cock bobbing back up against the dark hair trailing below his bellybutton with a wet thwack. All of the blood you have left in your body rushes to your cunt (you’re sure most of it was there already), and your mouth pops open involuntarily.

You know you’re staring, but you can’t help it. He’s so. fucking. big.

“Will it…um, will-“ you stammer, gaze dragging up his body to his face.

He crowds you, a deep hunger in his eyes, hard cock in his fist. Poised at your entrance, pre-cum beading at the tip.

“Know you can take it, baby,” he growls.

“Okay,” you whimper, warmth blooming across your chest.

He slides his empty hand under your thigh, caressing the skin gently — a stark contrast from the way he’s gripping his cock with his other hand. It feels reassuring, almost tender.

“Ready?”

You mewl, scooting your ass an inch or so forward to egg him on. He grips your thigh, his large hand spreading all the way beneath it.

He presses into you slowly — excruciatingly slowly — but it’s enough to make you drop your head back and whine at the delicious stretch. He keeps his hand at the base of his cock, and you’re not sure if it’s for your benefit or his.

His eyes are glued to where he’s breached your entrance, watching you stretch to accommodate his girth, and it takes his breath away.

“Fuck, princess. So tight. So fuckin’ perfect for me,” he grunts, but it’s gentle, as if he’s in awe of you.

The sting of it gives way to furious pleasure, and you want him to move faster as he gives you more of himself.

“Joel,” you whisper, face to the ceiling, “faster, please.”

He grunts again, but feeds more of his cock into your hole, sliding his palm around the curve of your thigh to rub your clit. It send electric shocks through your limbs, your pussy clenching around him at the sudden pleasure radiating from your center.

Your knees are still pressed into your chest, folded practically in half, and he keeps going, and going, and going, until his pelvis is pressed flush to yours, bottoming out inside of you.

He stills, breathing ragged, to grip your jaw and bring your head down, saying through clenched teeth, “Lookit, baby. Lookit that. You took all’f me. The whole fuckin’ thing. I want you t’see.”

Your eyes, half-lidded, gaze at where he disappears into you, your aching lips strained against him.

“Made for me,” he says, and you can tell how much he’s restraining himself by the way he ticks his jaw and squeezes his eyes shut.

Thinking about anything but how fucking good your pussy feels wrapped around him.

“Fuck me,” you whimper, “Joel, please.” You lift both your feet off the desk, wrapping them around his waist in an effort to pull him in closer — to make him move faster.

“Baby,” it’s his turn to drop his head back, snarling at your tightness. But he gives you what you need, rocking his hips into you finally.

Pleasure swirls in your core, and you know it won’t take long. He’s still rubbing your clit, but the movements are erratic and messy, his focus on how good you feel on him. His other hand inches up your side, grabbing at your breast, anchoring himself to you while the bottom half of his body thrusts in and out of you expertly.

You’re both dewy with sweat, and as you’re lost in the way he moves against you, feeling the tip of him bumping up into the furthest depths of you, he leans forward and licks up a stray bead of perspiration rolling down your neck.

The eroticism of it makes your whole body shudder, and he gasps at the way your body reacts to him.

“Not gonna last long, princess. Feels too good,” he manages to spit out, subconsciously increasing his speed drilling into you. He can’t believe he has you open so wide, taking all of him.

He knew the moment he saw you that you were made to take his cock.

“Gonna come, Joel.”

“Come for me, baby. Gimme one more,” he encourages huskily, opening his eyes to watch you raise your hips to meet his every thrust.

Knowing that he’s watching you drags you higher and higher until the tension of your body snaps, soaking his abdomen with your release.

His hips stutter against you, and he stills as your cunt tightens even more around him, your walls fluttering against every inch of him. His thumb, still grazing your clit, presses into it firmly, making your toes curl.

“Joel,” you drag his name out in a harsh whisper, fireworks bursting behind your eyes. It’s never been like this. You can’t go back to it not being like this.

He’s right — it doesn’t take long, you whimpering his name pushing him past the point of no return, and he spills inside of you, his cock pumping every drop he has.

Your legs tighten around him, holding him in place as he slams both palms down on either side of you on the desk, a deep growl emitting from his chest. His tousled hair hangs in front of his eyes, his neck and chest flushed red.

“Fuuuuck.” He mumbles, sliding his cock out of you so, so slowly. As if he doesn’t want to pull out ever.

You release your legs just enough to let him step back, but as you go to close your legs, his spend dripping out of your stretched open pussy, he grabs your thigh and wrenches it back open.

“Waitaminute,” he grunts, and you can feel his other hand searching for something across the top of the desk, scrambling through the files and papers you had neatly stacked.

Busy trying to catch your breath, you don’t notice when he brings his phone to the front of you, opening his camera and snapping a photo of him dripping out of you.

“Joel! Ohmygod!” you giggle, as he smirks at you. Your cheeks flush deeper at the idea of him keeping that photo, of even wanting that photo, and you bat his hand away and close your legs quickly.

“I’ll delete it if’ya want,” he offers, but you both know that not what you want.

You hum teasingly.

“S’what I thought,” he says, running a gentle hand over your now-closed knees. “‘Sides, gotta keep something to remind you that you’re mine.” His hand follows the curves of your body to your tits, and he tweaks your nipple one final time.

Leaning in to kiss you, his tongue warm in your mouth, he whispers against you, “Better put your panties on, princess. Gotta keep it all inside you.” Prying your legs apart again just enough to slide his palm through them, he cups your sex with his large hand.

“You tore ‘em to pieces,” you whisper back, a dark smile on your lips. “Pretty sure what’s left of them is in the pocket of your jeans.”

“Mmm, you’re right. Guess I’ll have to fill you up again and find a way to make sure you can keep it in.”

Electricity shoots through you, and you miss his hand as soon as he pulls it away to drag his boxers and jeans up.

You drop your legs, despite how much they’re shaking, and pick up your clothes scattered across the room. Once you’re dressed (as much as you can be without panties), you stretch up on your tiptoes to kiss him again, while he does what he can to tame his hair with his fingers. It makes you laugh, and he matches it warmly. He kisses you again and again.

“Why don’t you, uh, take the rest of the day off? Done plenty of work here. I can clean up,” he smirks at you, nodding his head to the messy desk, where you’re pretty sure some of his cum had slipped out.

“Gee, thanks, boss. Can’t wait to get back to it Monday.” You wink at him, pulling your body away and picking your bag up from the coat rack next to the door. Hand on the doorknob, you glance back at him, a smirk of your own on your face.

“Oh, and because you didn’t ask — I am on birth control.”

His eyes widen in surprise, but you laugh and close the door behind you, headed home.

You don’t even know how fucked you are, yet.

[marlynnofmany]

Confidential Human Questions

I was walking past the door to the cockpit quietly because I heard Captain Sunlight on a video call with a client, but then I heard, “Was that a human? Call them back; I have a question.”

This ought to be good, I thought as I spun on my heel.

Captain Sunlight was just calling my name as I reached the doorway. “Ah yes, thank you. Would you mind answering a human-related question?” She stood in the middle of the room, yellow scales bright in the good lighting. She managed to look up to my height without making it seem awkward.

“Sure,” I said. “What’s the question?” I stayed in the doorway. The room was a little crowded, with Wio in one pilot’s chair, tentacles manipulating many controls at once, and Kavlae doing something to fix her own chair with a hand tool. Judging by the way her head frills were flaring with frustration, she wasn’t done yet.

The client on the big screen curled his own tentacles. “I’m concerned about my ship’s human,” he said, turning his pointy squid head to make sure he wasn’t overheard. He lowered his voice and spoke closely to the screen. “We only have the one, you see, and I don’t want to ask any awkward questions directly.”

“I understand,” I said with a nod. Captain Sunlight ushered me into the room, then stepped out to talk to Zhee about something. I heard the distinctive click of his bug feet.

The client was still talking, with agitated twists of his pebbly gray tentacles. “We don’t have a medic onboard, just an automated medical suite. The human will be going home soon — limited time work contract, you know — but I’m honestly worried about infection spreading there, since I think this human caught it by meeting up with another. I gather that this other is on good terms with ours, and may be going to the same place either way, but I don’t want to contribute any contagion from my ship.”

“What kind of symptoms are we talking about?” I asked, mentally going over the short list of diseases that I knew of which could jump between species. This might be worth consulting our own medic. “No one else onboard is affected?”

“No, just the human,” he said, making vague loops with his tentacles. “There’s a malignant-looking growth, along with fatigue and gastrointestinal distress. The human has been acting a little… unpredictable.” He looked behind himself again. “I very much don’t want to cause an incident by prying, especially if this is something she knows to be terminal.”

I opened my mouth then closed it, choosing my questions with care. “Is the growth about here?” I pantomimed a roundness at my own stomach. “How long since she met with the other human?”

“Yes, exactly there! It’s been approximately half a standard orbit. What is it? Do you know?”

He was so sincere and worried that I had to smile. “Good news! In my opinion as a professional human, that’s not a disease at all. Your human is going to be a parent.”

Instead of relaxing, he looked confused. “Humans gestate eggs for that long? Shouldn’t she have laid them by now? She looks awfully uncomfortable. Oh no, are they stuck?” Now he was getting alarmed. “I had a relative who got eggbound once, and it was dire!”

I raised my hands in a calming gesture that I hoped he understood. “No, no eggs. Humans give live birth.”

“Live what?”

“Just — we lay the babies, already hatched.” I looked to my various crewmates for support, and found four different sets of eyes watching in curiosity. “All of you lay eggs, don’t you?”

Several nods answered me, along with, “Well not personally,” from Zhee. “But yes.”

I sighed and turned back to the screen. “It’s extremely normal on my planet. Just think of it as carrying the nest around internally. There are pros and cons to the whole thing, but yeah. At any rate, it sounds like she’s planning to join up with her mate at home, and raise their offspring together.”

The client looked fascinated. “Is there anything I should do? Or not do? I can make sure my crew is informed.”

“I understand it’s an uncomfortable process. Just be gentle, and encourage rest,” I said. “Oh, and have other crewmembers handle anything that involves bending over or moving heavy things.”

By the swift tentacle motions offscreen, he was typing notes.

Another thought occurred to me. “I don’t know how long until you reach her home, but if things take too long, you’d better hope your medical suite is up to overseeing a childbirth. They’re very painful, sometimes dangerous. And messy.”

He stopped typing, eyes wide. “I need to check with someone about changing our schedule. Thank you, goodbye!” The screen went blank.

I looked to the captain. “Were you done talking with him, I hope?”

She nodded. “Yes, business is concluded. Which is good, since I don’t fancy having to track him down because he forgot to pay us.”

“Yeah, me neither,” I said with a glance back at the screen. “I didn’t even get to tell him how loud human newborns are, or how often they cry. I doubt there’s a crib onboard.”

Zhee made a disparaging hiss and wandered off in a cloud of opinions about species without the good sense to hatch at a properly capable stage of development.

Wio snorted. “Judging by the speed they just took off at, I don’t think they’re going to need one.” She pointed a blue-ringed tentacle at a display that showed the other ship departing in an all-fired hurry.

I shook my head. “Best of luck to all involved!”

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[sixeyesgojo]

all good things come in threes

☾ Summary: Winning a bet against Gojo ‘big ass ego’ Satoru isn't as easy as you thought. But you can't complain either. ☾ Characters: highschool!Gojo Satoru x reader ☾ Word count: 6k ☾ Content warning: use of petnames, implied height difference, tooth-rotting fluff, Gojo's a little shit and has negative rizz ☾ Author's note: My heart was going through STUFF. ☾ Tags: @nagumoan @heresan @peachsayshi @trueformsukuna @gojos-princesa @cursedmoonchild

White tufts of hair. Round sunglasses. An annoying facial expression directed at you. That was your view. You let out an exasperated sigh. Out of everyone available at the time, they just had to choose you to partner up with Satoru. It was to make sure the young conceited sorcerer wouldn’t go overboard or well, get ahead of himself. Sure, his abilities were extraordinary and even at a young age, he had already displayed an astonishing understanding of his cursed techniques and various other battle-related skills. Everyone knew that Satoru was set to be a pioneer and that he didn’t exactly need a partner to fulfill his missions. You knew about his abilities, how they worked and his modus operandi, already having had experience partnering up with him on various missions. But those had been wildly different as they required a partner, a second person. This one clearly didn’t. Yet they still sent you with him, knowing full well that he could handle it himself. These damn fossils.

It was understandable that Satoru had his own opinions about this rather unexpected turn of events. After having heard his initial protestations, which contained the words “no faith”, “incompetent” and how he was “not some random weakling”, you’ve had enough and it began to annoy you. Neither of you were responsible for orders being passed down as they were; and both of you knew that some of them did not make sense, some of them were plain unreasonable and some of them just seemed antiquated, obsolete, outdated. If anyone had enough power to object orders from above, it was the young sorcerer in front of you. However, he didn’t bother to do so. As for you, you had questioned the intent behind the task assigned to you, but simply accepted it as it was. There was no helping it anyway. In the end, you were just a cog in a giant and screwed system.

And so, you were stuck with him on a mission to rescue civilians and eliminate a first grade curse. “I still don’t understand why I need a partner for this. Do I look like a total wimp?” he complained and pulled a grimace.

You rolled your eyes at him, clearly displeased at the situation yourself, “I bet they assigned me to keep your big ass ego in check.”

For someone who had grumbled that much about you being his partner this time around, Satoru certainly seemed entertained in one way or another. At least, a small part of him seemed to revel in the situation. “And I’m sure you will do an excellent job at keeping my ‘big ass ego’ at bay,” he retorted sarcastically, all while giving you that damn smirk. No one else in the world could look so smug while being a prick. So what if you found him attractive? So what if his teasing made your heart skip one or two beats? So what if the smirk made you want to kiss it off of his stupid face? His personality was foul enough. At that moment, all you wanted to do was to smack him but you knew exactly that his bothersome Infinity wouldn’t let you.

“Ugh, I don’t exactly enjoy being stuck with someone who constantly complains either. I’ll just get this mission done as quickly as I can and then we’re both free from each other. Deal?” you rambled. Your keenness to end this all as soon as possible made his ears perk up and upon hearing this, the white-haired teenager dropped his empty can on the ground, “Woah woah woah, hold your horses. I am pretty sure you can’t even defeat the curse as fast as I can, so who’s stuck with who?”

You shrugged as you picked up the metal can, ever so trusting in your abilities. Although you knew he was the strongest, that didn’t mean you couldn’t beat him to it, right? You just had to be clever about it. “Fine, let’s make a bet then. Whoever lands the finishing blow on the curse wins,” you suggested and tossed the metallic container into a trashcan. Satoru raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Loser has to do whatever the winner wants,” the sorcerer decided. He seemed interested enough.

“Fine by me. Don’t cry about it when I win,” you said, grinning at him. He grinned back at you, all too confident in his victory already, “I’m afraid I’ll be the one wiping your tears.”

Days passed. Finally, the fateful day was here.

“Will you hurry up?” he urged you. “I’m already on my way,” you replied, annoyed at being rushed by him. Why were you two walking to the scene in the first place? “Come on, we don’t have all day,” he continued. You rolled your eyes. Not everybody had the privilege of having stilts for legs. Still, you sped up in order to catch up to him.

“This is the place,” Satoru pointed out, stopping abruptly. He held his arm out in front of you, as if to keep you out… if one was delusional enough, the gesture could have been interpreted as a protective one. Promptly, you shook your head. There was no time for such thoughts. You could daydream later—focus was more important now.

“There are still people inside. We need to evacuate them first,” he inferred, looking into your eyes. Your mind then switched to mission mode immediately.  “Then we can take it down together.”

You nodded; even without verbal communication, the allocation of tasks was successfully conveyed. Vanishing from his sight, you were off to evacuate anyone that was left in the vicinity. Sure, Satoru could find the curse and get rid of it on his own. Then he would have won the bet easily. However, something in your gut told you that he wouldn’t do that. He could be fair… sometimes—even if it was for his own enjoyment. Admittedly, he wasn’t a bad partner on missions; he just wasn’t the greatest personality-wise. But he certainly had a charm to him. That’s how he unknowingly wrapped you around his finger…

The evacuation went as smooth as it could—with one or two stray bullets that would not listen, as per usual. Since you had already done this lots of times, you were able to finish up quickly and get the civilians to safety with the help of the assistants: the Windows.

“I’m here,” you announced to him as soon as you were back. And you were right! He just leaned against a wall, waiting for you. “About time. I almost thought you wouldn’t come anymore because you got scared shitless. You ready to take this thing down?” He asked. You smirked at him, “You bet I am. Ready to kick your sorry ass.”

Chuckling, he swung himself into a proper standing position. “Alright. I see you’re being as feisty as ever. Remember: The loser will have to do whatever the other person wants after all this is over,” the tall teenager reminded you with a cocky grin. Oh, he was so sure that he would win. His eyes gleamed with excitement and he was ready to fight this curse to ensure his oh-so-sweet victory over you. Of course, he had already thought of his prospective prize.

As if on cue, the curse appeared behind him and roared. In the blink of an eye, two giant claws came swinging at Satoru. You didn’t hesitate to activate your own cursed technique, successfully blocking the slash attack at frightening speed.

“Mark me impressed,” Satoru laughed. It wasn’t his first time seeing you in action but he couldn’t help but tease you, “You’re still not on my level but it’ll do.”

You rolled your eyes, “You say this every time we’re partnered up. Doesn’t it get old?”

He simply laughed as you both dodged an incoming blow. The two of you continued to face off with the curse. Before long, both of you had landed blows on the enemy. He was holding back for some reason—that’s what you thought—otherwise you were sure that this level of curse would have been taken care of by his hands already. It was neither weak nor was it anything drastically above your level. There was one thing you were sure about: He was stalling—and you played right into his games. But your pride wouldn’t let you drop out of the bet. 

It wasn’t long until the curse crumbled to dust. You panted a little, looking at the white-haired sorcerer. The enemy was gone now but he didn’t look like he had broken a single sweat. He dusted himself off and straightened his posture.

“Now about that winner and loser thing…” he began, “I think you can guess the winner.”

You huffed. Damn. Despite holding out well, your plan was a failure. But a bet was a bet, right? “Fine, what do you want me to do?” you probed. He wouldn’t ask you to do bizarre things for him, right?

Satoru tapped his chin, pretending to think, when in reality he had already known before the fight even started. You looked like you poured your whole heart into winning, so he couldn’t help but hold back a little.

“Then… how about going out for ice cream? It’s on me. I think I deserve ice cream after working so hard,” he finally spoke. At first, you thought your brain was playing pranks on you. “Wait,” you paused, “Are you asking me out as your prize for winning the bet?”

A playful grin spread on his face. “You could definitely say that.” He specified, “But I also just really like ice cream on a summer day and I think we deserve some. What, are you chickening out now?”

You looked at him quizzically, questioning whether this was a joke on his part. You felt your heart speed up and the tips of your ears became warmer by the second. “Fair. A win is a win. I guess I’ll go have ice cream with you,” you muttered. Was he scheming something? Did he… perhaps like—

He chuckled and proceeded with a half-teasing tone, “You guess?” The laughter that followed after was soft. “We gotta report back first and then we can go.” Without further ado, he turned on his heel and walked away. The grin that was on his face was not visible to you. “Ugh, shut up,” you grumbled, still somewhat flustered. Nevertheless, you followed him. This damn heart wouldn’t let you rest.

The briefing didn’t take long at all—the mission was a success. After making a report, the two of you headed to a nearby ice cream store. As you stood in line waiting for your sweet cold treat, you looked at his face. He was even better looking than you originally thought. Come to think of it, you might have never looked at him from up close. Suddenly, he turned to you. “What flavor are you getting?” Satoru asked curiously.

You looked at him and answered, “Lime with mint.” It was one of your favorite flavors.

“Lime with mint, huh?” he repeated and looked towards the sky as if you had just asked him a deeply philosophical question he needed to ponder about. “Not a bad choice. I’m getting mango. Can’t go wrong with that.” He paid for the ice cream, as promised, and guided both of you to a nearby bench so you could enjoy the treat. His eyes were positively gleaming with delight after he sat down. It was happiness that resembled yours whenever you got ice cream. “Why lime with mint?” Satoru wondered. With a shrug, you replied, “I just like lime. With mint in it, it’s more refreshing in summer. Have you ever tried?”

Satoru shook his head, so you allowed him to have a taste. You could pinpoint the exact moment when he realized that your statement was the truth: It was nice and refreshing indeed. He made a mental note that your ice cream taste was impeccable. “Any other flavor you enjoy?” he probed. It took a moment of thinking until you came up with something, “Matcha ice cream. I like mango too.”

“Good call. Mango is one of my favorites for sure,” he said as he took a bite of his scoop of ice cream.

“I’m wondering,” you said aloud, “why did you choose to ask me out as your reward? I expected… actually, I don’t know what I expected but it was definitely something else.”

The sorcerer pondered, thinking about how to phrase it. “Like what?” he asked. “I don’t know. Maybe kissing your ass, being your accomplice for pranks or something like that. That would be on-brand for you,” you joked. You would have never expected such a turn of events.

“That would have been an amazing idea, actually,” the guy mused. In retrospect, it would have been better if you hadn’t said anything to not fuel his dumb ideas. “You absolute jackass! Nobody wants to kiss your ass!”

Even though you should have expected such a reply coming from him, you couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit scandalized at the mental image of you kissing his rear. Gross. You shook your head to get rid of the imagery.

And yet, your curiosity hadn’t been quenched at all. As impatient as you were about his reply, you further probed him on the matter, “So… about my question…?”

As if to hide any embarrassing feelings, your opposite snickered. “Right… about that…” he cleared his throat, “I just kinda like our banter a lot… and you. So I figured that I should just shoot my shot. ‘What are they gonna say? No?’ was what I thought but see, a bet’s a bet! And I won!”

Oh. Oh.

Your eyes widened. So it was like that. 

Gojo Satoru? The Gojo Satoru? The conceited prick Satoru? Your crush Satoru? And you? Together? Never in a hundred years. But… it’s not like you had any right to complain about it, seeing as your heart was threatening to break out of its bony confinement.

“Hey, hey, hey. No need to look so surprised. I’ve been trying to get closer to you, didn’t you notice?” he asked, tilting his head to the left side, as if to get a better glimpse of your surprised expression.

“You thought being the most annoying prick to ever walk on Earth would do the trick?” Your jaw dropped. A strange expression of surprise flitted across your face for a split second. He shrugged his shoulders, “Well, it definitely worked—after all I got your undivided attention, didn’t I?”

Flabbergasted—that’s what you were. However, your composure quickly made a comeback and you could only laugh. A million-watt grin greeted you. Damn this man. He knew how to charm you, intentionally or not. “It sure did, you know! But not in the most positive light… Instead of calling me weak, you could have asked me what my favorite color is, what my favorite food is or something like that… Things normal people do!” you told him truthfully. Rather than arguing back, Satoru raised his free hand in defense, “I didn’t say you were weak, I just said you’re not on my level!”

You couldn’t help but raise your eyebrow and he quickly dropped the topic. Deciding to take your advice to heart, he asked you about your favorite cake and any ‘hidden gems and recommendations’, as he called them. The sudden change in topic threw you off a little, but as long as he tried, right? You were almost inclined to reward him with a good noodle star. Not that you’d do that. In place of that, you opted to go with the alternative: provide him with the information he asked for. So you thought about it carefully before answering him. He listened intently.

“I’ll keep those in mind. Making a mental list for the next time we hang out,” he grinned at you, tapping his temple. “You want to hang out again? I’m not boring you out of your mind yet?” you asked puzzledly, still in disbelief that he showed actual interest in you outside of work. “Why wouldn’t I want to?” He seemed slightly confused and raised a white eyebrow.

“Do you not want to?” He glanced at you with his bright, sparkling eyes. The notion of spending more time with you excited him. The enthusiasm was reflected in his cerulean eyes. When you thought about it, it only made sense, considering he had just confessed that he found you intriguing. “I just assumed you couldn’t stand me because I wasn’t as strong as you because you kept being mean to me,” you admitted somewhat shyly.

“I’m not that mean!” He said, acting shocked, though you noticed he was trying to hide a chuckle.

After a few seconds, Satoru sighed and clarified, “I can be a bit mean at times but I promise I never hated you or anything.” He smiled and you swore it was a smile that could threaten to make your knees a bit weak. Lucky for you that you were sitting on a bench. It was almost unfair how blessed he was with good looks. He continued, “I actually enjoy your company. You’re interesting and fun and I can tell you’re not afraid to bite back but you can be friendly if you want to. If anything, I like that a lot about you.”

A slight feeling of abashment prompted you to avoid his gaze. This was unusual. You weren’t used to him being so openly kind. “You know, I’d think I prefer you teasing me… without being straight up rude,” you confessed. His eyes widened briefly. Yet, a smirk soon returned to his face, “I see. You’re a masochist. Just kidding! I can definitely do that. It’ll be interesting to see how you react to me teasing you.”

Of course, you wouldn’t let that sit on you and you bit back, “Don’t expect me not to fight back, though.” And there it was, the slightly awkward atmosphere from earlier dissipated and everything returned to your usual banter.

Satoru clicked his tongue, “Trust me, I don’t expect you to be anyone but yourself. But I’m still looking forward to what you’ll do when I tease you, though.” He winked. “Not only are you an interesting person, but you’re fairly cute too.”

Who? You? “Huh?” you blurted out, baffled at the sudden compliment. With the way he was grinning at you, he had to be messing with you since he enjoyed seeing your reactions. “Did I say something wrong? I wasn’t lying. You’re adorable. Do you think you’re not?” Oh, he was definitely messing with you.

“Not really,” you shot back. You knew you weren’t ugly but hearing a compliment from someone as stunning as Satoru was something else. But cute and adorable…? That wasn’t exactly the best way to compliment someone you wanted to get attention from. If anything, it fueled something almost akin to spite within you. You felt the urge to tease him back.

“Come on, it was a genuine compliment from me. That’s gotta count for something, doesn’t it?” he pouted. You couldn’t detect any kind of indication that he was lying. “Thank you, you’re not so bad yourself,” you complimented him back. “Really?” he let out a gasp that was obviously fake, “I’m not so bad?”

You nodded, prompting the white-haired man to raise his eyebrow as he contemplated. “You’re right, I’m not bad,” he nodded in agreement with you. 

“I am great,” he said, a smirk forming on his face.

You chuckled, “You know. I think if it wasn’t for your foul personality, I would have fallen for you long ago.”

“Foul personality?” Satoru gasped as he brought a hand to his chest to grab it. “Maybe you’re just as mean as I am!” A laugh escaped from your throat and it was like music to his ears. “I never said I was nice, did I?” you fired back at him and he couldn’t help but grin. “See? I think I like you more when you're sassy. Maybe we're not as different as you thought,” he spoke. After a moment, he added, “I wouldn't mind if you treated me like this all the time. I could even get used to it.”

“So the great Gojo Satoru likes being degraded, I see. Noted,” you teased him again. One of his hands moved to his mouth to cover it, pretending to be horrified. He leaned forward and you could see a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I don’t think ‘degradation’ is the right term here; I just enjoy teasing you and... being teased by you. Is that so bad?” he asked. “Then,” you began and stood up, the ice cream was long finished. You placed your index finger beneath his chin, moving it up so he was facing you as you got closer to his face. He could feel your breath. “Do you like this?” you asked. Your goal was to get back at him for flustering you earlier. So why was your heart beating so fast?

“I think I do,” he simply said. His pale blue eyes seemed to peer at you, piercing you, as if looking for an answer to a question that had been left unasked. Despite being in a sitting position, he still radiated a confident aura. Suddenly the closeness you had created between the two of you was too much for you. Your body backed away automatically but you found yourself unable to move any farther from him—he didn’t let you. Instead, he reduced the gap between the two of you even more, slowly coming closer to you.

His fingers had already sneakily encircled your left forearm without you noticing. Mesmerizing eyes robbed you of your ability to move. You didn’t notice you held your breath until you needed to inhale sharply. Who was teasing who now? Caught like a deer in headlights, adrenaline rushed through your veins as anticipation clouded your mind. That was the moment you realized that you were into him more than you’d like to admit. You swore you could hear your heartbeat pounding loudly in your ears. The tension became too much and the ringing in your ears amplified and—

And then he closed the gap between you. Your brain blacked out. All you could think about was his lips on yours. Saying that you didn’t like his lips melting into yours was a lie. Satoru was leaving a sweet hint of his mango-flavored ice cream for you to taste, as if to claim you as his.

After a few seconds, Satoru broke the kiss. The shit-eating grin on his face was telling. “I think I liked this more though. You should let me do that more often. Maybe every day,” he winked at you. He looked at your frozen expression and chuckled; he genuinely had fun flirting with you. Still dazed from the kiss, your brain was unable to conjure any thoughts. All you knew was that you wanted—no, it was a need to kiss him again. As if your body would be set ablaze if you didn’t listen to your desire, your lips chased his and you kissed him again.

Satoru blinked. He was a bit taken aback at first but quickly returned the kiss, closing his eyes. After all, he had just boldly said that he wanted to do it more often. When you broke the kiss, he leaned forward before speaking. You noticed that the tip of his ears were a little red. It was a cute detail that you wouldn’t have noticed from afar.

“Damn, you’re a really good kisser,” the sorcerer said in a low voice, smiling at you. “Can I try again?” he asked, the smile still adorning his face. “All good things come in threes, I suppose,” you smiled back at him and leaned in again. Who would have thought that you would kiss this guy?

Without hesitation, the sitting Satoru pulled you into his lap and he kissed you again, heart beating faster with each passing second. After a few moments, he pulled away.

“Yeah, three sounds like a good number… but I prefer Infinity,” he said breathlessly. His cheeks were slightly flushed, a sign that he was enjoying himself. The white-haired adolescent reached up and pulled a stray strand of hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. He playfully added, “We should do this more often. Don't you agree?”

“Now you’re just being greedy!” you joked as you hit his chest playfully. It was only now that you noticed that his Limitless technique wasn’t in effect. “Greedy? Who? Me? Never!” he gasped again, pretending to be hurt over your accusation. “You hit me pretty hard there. I could have gotten hurt…” He glanced at the hand you used to hit him, “Do you want me to hit you too? Or maybe I should ask for damage compensation?”

You could tell he wasn’t serious by the way he smiled. “If you go on and hit me with your lips, then sure. Alternatively, I can offer lip service as compensation. Choose your poison, choose your hell.”

For a moment, he looked at you with mock horror. Then, he broke out in laughter at your statement. “Actually, that first one sounds like a good idea. I’ll go ahead and hit you with my lips then. But gently. Because I’m a gentleman.” He tenderly placed his two hands at the side of your face and slowly pulled you closer to him. Tilting his head slightly, he leaned in until your lips met. It was very gentle and your heart was filled with excitement, with exhilaration, as he kissed you. As your hands gripped his uniform tightly, you slowly lost yourself in the kiss, getting drunk on his lips. Maybe you should curse him for being a good kisser.

Satoru ended the kiss with a peck on the corner of your mouth and looked at you with a soft gaze, the softest you had ever seen on him. The dazed look on your face made him laugh again, “Don’t get too drunk on my kisses.” Stroking your cheeks with his long fingers, he laughed once again when he saw your pouting face, “You’re adorable, you know that?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong but you’re not entirely unaffected by kissing me,” you stated as-a-matter-of-factly and raised an eyebrow at him, crossing your arms. Being called out like this was embarrassing but it was pretty clear that you weren’t the only one affected with how the tips of his ears became slightly redder with each time you touched lips.

His lips formed a smile, “They’re addictive, if I’m being honest. I don’t… I don’t want to stop kissing you. I could do this all day, every day.” 

“If kissing me is addictive, then I think I’m doing a great job at affecting you,” you chuckled. The way your mouth moved as you spoke and the way the corners moved upwards to form a cheeky smile; he couldn’t take his eyes off. His heart thumped loudly in his chest, his thumb moved along the corner of your mouth. He couldn’t stop staring, the urge to lay his lips on yours once more strong. “You’re fun to be around. I like you, a lot. I’m enjoying how I feel when I’m close to you. I love whatever effect you have on me,” he spoke clearly.

He was fixated, enchanted, spell-bound even. “Is… Is this a confession?” you asked, hopeful eyes peering up at his. You took notice of the entranced look on his face. He blurted out, “I think I already fell for you a while ago.” As he realized what he had done, his eyes widened in shock and he wanted to slap his palms on his mouth, but he didn’t because that meant letting go of you. This time, it wasn’t fake shock but he genuinely didn’t think he’d blurt it out like that. But it was okay, because you liked him too. What was the use of pretending you didn’t?

“I think that makes two of us then,” as you admitted it, you felt your ears blazing with heat. “I’m saying that I like you too.” 

It took him a moment to process in his brain. Despite being academically clever and praised for his intelligence and wit in battles, you found it took him rather long to work out the meaning behind your words. “I knew you liked me, despite your sass.” No need to hide it now that he’d taken a look inside your heart. “We’re a dangerous duo,” the sorcerer noted, amused by his realization. You agreed with him, “Just two flirty kids who give trouble a run for its money.”

“Hey,” he suddenly began after a few moments, “Have you ever dated someone before? Are there any current or ex boyfriends I need to be worried about?” Satoru’s voice came out softly and he looked at you, awaiting an answer that would please him… because if not… he felt his heart drop at the thought. You wouldn’t… right?

Uncertainty clouded his mind as he looked at your face. “I have dated someone before but it didn’t work out. I’m not seeing anyone at the moment,” you clarified and wagged your index finger at him. “And honestly, even if there was… I think you’d do a great job at keeping them away,” you added.

And then, relief washed over him. With hindsight, he should have asked that before kissing you—a small part inside him admonished him for it but his heart couldn’t help but leap at your words. Quickly recomposing himself, he grinned back at you, “I bet with all the sass, sarcasm and cheekiness you’ve got, you can keep them away just as easily by yourself.”

Obviously, you had a comeback up your sleeve, “I never said I couldn’t. But you’d do a decent job at it. Because anyone would be scared of a tall white-haired dude who is full of himself.”

A hearty laugh came out of his throat; he expected nothing less from you. You were good at getting back at him in the most entertaining and beautiful ways. There was no doubt that you were able to handle his ‘foul’ personality well. “So we’re both good at keeping guys away from us, huh? You really do think I’m full of myself, don’t you? So why didn’t you reject me before?” he questioned. “Judging from what happened earlier… I might not be that good at keeping guys like you away from me. I wasn’t born with your technique after all. And I’m not sure if I want to keep away a guy named Gojo Satoru from me,” you grin at him and pinch his cheek gently.

“I’m flattered,” he fake-sniffed and then he leaned even closer, “So did I hear that correctly? You don’t want to keep a tall, almighty and handsome guy like me away from you? Hm?”

“No, I don’t want to keep you away from me. But I think if we dated, we’d be dangerous to other people. Our superiors wouldn’t approve of it, I am sure,” you mused. It was logical but Satoru gave you a bizarre look, “And you care about what some old farts have to say? Strange thing to be worried about when you’re someone who usually fires back right away.”

“I was just saying. I don’t care about what they think; I like playing dangerously. Wouldn’t be in this line of work if that wasn’t the case,” the words coming out of your mouth made him feel delighted. The smug look on your face only added to it.

“That makes us a dangerous duo, huh? The perfect pair to take down curses and cause trouble, I kinda like that,” he clicked his tongue as he finished speaking. The thought of the two of you wreaking havoc was fun and thrilling, admittedly. Principal Yaga was sure to get white hair at this rate—not that Satoru cared too much about it, as long as the old man didn’t die of shock or cardiac arrest.

“You bet,” you shot him a cheeky smile. “Then it’s settled, wouldn’t you say? You and I are an amazing partner match, sweetheart. Just a danger to society,” Satoru established.

“That’s sort of ironic, considering that our job is to protect society as it is,” you remarked. And yet, it didn’t matter to you at all. All you felt at the moment was the pleasantness of the world, of Gojo Satoru’s presence and coming clean with your feelings.

“Hey, since you brought it up already… I’m going to assume that you’re fine with dating me…?” He briefly looked at the ground, then back at you. The little bit of uncertainty in his tone was almost cute to you. For the first time, the usually cocky and confident platinum—haired sorcerer wasn’t so sure about his words in front of you. Seeing him like this wasn’t so bad, you noticed.

You got on your tiptoes to gently place a peck on his cheek. Your actions were contradictory to your following question: “What makes you think you’re worthy of being my boyfriend?”

You were only teasing him, hoping that your sweet kiss was answer enough. Part of you hoped that he got the playful tone in your voice. But when he glanced down at you as you struggled to reach his lips on your tiptoes, a wide grin spread across his face as you leaned in and kissed him. His heart raced as he snaked his two arms around your waist to steady you.

With an eye smile so boyish that it made you blink once, twice, Satoru was quick to respond, “Opposite day already passed, you brat. I think it’s only fair to deduce that if I’m worthy of your kiss, I’m most likely good enough to be your boyfriend.”

“Hmmm, you think so?” you grin mischievously at him and slung your arms around his neck. Your goal was to rile him up a little, it was in your nature to be a little annoying about it.

“I’d say a kiss is a good sign, sugar,” he retorted with a sassy tone in his voice. He tightened his arms around your waist, effectively hugging you closer to him. There was no escape for you—not that you wanted to flee from him anyways. On the contrary: You rested your head on his shoulder.

“Then I think it’s in order that my official boyfriend kisses me now and goes on a date with me,” you murmured into his ear. A slight movement indicated that he was reacting to your whisper. He gulped and swiftly got his cool back. “That can be arranged,” Satoru smiled as he moved his hands to the sides of your face and closed the gap once more. After separating from your lips, his arms moved back to their original spot.

He snickered to himself, “I can’t believe you’re so cheeky and smooth.”

You stuck your tongue out at him—and to him, you looked so adorable doing it. “Being a menace who is cheeky and smooth is my forte,” you claimed brazenly. “How does it feel to be my boyfriend?”

“Being handsome and strong is part of my job as the notorious kid from the Gojo clan. But being your official boyfriend was not in the job description when I signed up to be a sorcerer. I’ll take my incentive bonus payment in the form of love and affection from you,” he joked and nuzzled your nose. Satoru’s warm hands found yours and he didn’t hesitate to intertwine your fingers.

“Then I guess our first date will be a salary negotiation,” you laughed back at him. This was the start of something beautiful, but also the start of double trouble for some poor souls. Not that any of you cared anyway.

White tufts of hair and round sunglasses would accompany you more frequently from now on.

[llamagoddessofficial]

Hello Ms. Llama! Since weve heard Akas opinion on Ramattra, can we hear what you think about him?

Ramattra?

I have several opinions. I have abt 15k words of opinions, currently in my drafts, that I keep adding to in feral writing fits.

Here's 1k of opinions - particularly, from a slice-of-life AU I keep laying awake at night imagining (and @aka-indulgence keeps ENCOURAGING), where you become friends with Zenyatta while attending the same yoga class and end up getting 'close' with his roommate, Ramattra.

---

“I imagine this is going to sound bizarre, human. And I won’t be offended if you decline. But I have a request.”

You blinked up at him, from your spot perched on his couch, eyes drawn away from your phone screen. The height difference between you and the larger omnic was big enough as it was but now, with you sitting down and him standing up, how much you had to crane your neck to look at his face was borderline comical.

You were just waiting for Zenyatta to get home. The two of you always walked to yoga together, and since his place was closer, it made sense for you to wait there for him to get back from his Pencak Silat class. How he had the energy for both in one day, you’d never know - yoga alone left you sweaty and exhausted.

“... A request?” you repeated. Ramattra’s hands were tucked away in his hoodie pockets.

Zenyatta, when you first met him, had seemed very concerned about how you would get along with his roommate. Concerned enough to warn you in advance that Ramattra didn’t like humans - concerned enough to assure you multiple times that if the Ravager-class omnic refused to look at you, or speak with you, it was ‘very normal’. ‘Just how he was around humans’. "Please don't take it personally if he acts unpleasantly," were the exact words that left Zenyatta's voicebox.

Ramattra looked down at you. “Would you touch my back?”

...

Sure, Ramattra had been cordial with you. Friendly, even, seemingly to Zenyatta’s great surprise and delight. But you didn’t think yourself close enough for this. 

“T... touch your...?”

He nodded. “I have some calibration issues. If you could spare a few minutes to press the areas around my joints, I would greatly appreciate it. Though I understand if you don’t want to.”

“Oh!” You brightened. “Like a massage?”

Ramattra’s head cocked. You’d never get used to not being able to see any emotion in his face. “Massage?”

“Yeah, it’s something humans do to each other. You like... press someone’s body in certain spots to help relax their muscles.” You mimed the action with your hands.

“Hm.” By the rise in the inflection of his voice, he seemed pleasantly surprised. “Yes, something to the tune of that.”

“That’s no problem at all. Your back, yeah?”

Ramattra, to your surprise, immediately pulled his hoodie off. You supposed that was a yes.

He sat on the floor in front of you, his back to you, legs crossed. You’d never seen him from this perspective. Jeez, he really was massive, wasn’t he? His back was wider than you, shoulders past your knees. You could see the segments of dark metal that comprised his body, connecting to one another seamlessly, muscle-like in shape and angle but far stronger than anything a human could possibly grow.

Your hands hovered awkwardly above your lap. “You’re, uhm... you’re sure you’re fine with me doing this?”

“I am.” He swept his corded ‘hair’ to the side, over one shoulder. “I would not have asked otherwise.”

“Is there a spot in particular you want me to focus on?”

“No. Anywhere is fine. I have contact sensors across my entire body.”

... Hm. You eyed his back; between the metal sheets was a lining of black material. It looked thick and tensile, borderline bulletproof. You figured you might as well start there, and then Ramattra would let you know if you had the wrong idea. 

You pressed your thumbs into the rubber lining. No sound of protest. So you kept going - your hands moved up and down, with as much force as you could manage without giving yourself hand pain. You didn't consider yourself all that small of a human, but man, your hands looked so tiny up against him.

He was... warmer to the touch than you anticipated. The black material felt like rubber; the kind on a bike tyre, or computer cabling. The sort of thing you secretly really enjoyed the smell of. You pushed the balls of your hands against the metal itself, he was smoother than you expected too.

“Does this help?” you asked, softly.

“Yes.” Ramttra hummed. His voice sounded clearer, but lower, and with a softness you hadn’t heard him use with anyone but you. “A lot.”

“It doesn’t feel like I’m doing much.” You tried to find a balance between touching the rubber-like material and the huge metal plates themselves. He said he had sensors everywhere, right? So a mix of both was important.

“You are,” he replied, simply. His head leaned to the side. Following his lead, you moved your hand to his neck there, rubbing cautiously. He made a sound like a fan powering down in another room.

“I don’t know if I’m strong enough to actually help.”

“It isn’t about strength.”

“It’s not?”

“The best way I can describe it is that... you’re helping me be aware of my body. From your touch, I can pinpoint issues, adjust my internals. Your pressure is variable and allows me to reset many of my functions against an external force. A very gentle jumpstart, if you will.”

“... Oh. I see.” You eased up. “Human massages need pressure. It makes more blood flow to the area, I think.”

“Interesting. And it feels pleasant?”

“Some people love it so much they pay for a professional to do it. Some people don’t like it at all.” You pushed both your hands into the spots where his shoulders met the tops of his massive metal arms. Concentrating on touching, you missed the little twitch in his fingers.

“Do you like massages?”

“Yeah, I suppose. I’m a bit iffy about a random person touching me up. But if I trust and like the person, it feels wonderful.”

“Hm.”

“What about you? Is this just a necessary thing, or does it feel nice?”

He thought, for a moment.

“... I am the same as you.” 

You lifted your hands, migrating away from his back, pressing your thumbs into the back of his neck. Ramattra’s head slowly rocked forward; he made a sound you’d never heard before. It was quiet, but heavily robotic, like a hum put through several audio filters until it was barely recognisable as speech.

You paused, somewhat startled. “Everything ok?”

His voice was very very soft. Very very deep. “Yes. Keep going.”

... Huh. Well, you did as he asked, starting up again, pushing circles into the back of his neck. It was easy work, and you couldn’t deny it was fascinating to see him up so close. 

He let out a long, slow ‘sigh’. He had mentioned before that he could sigh two ways - one was just an audial manner of showing emotion, and the other was a way to flush air through his system and cool any overheating components. This was the latter. You could actually hear the hissing air, sifting out from between his ribs and mouth.

Ramattra’s head rocked back. Surprised, you pulled your hands away. His head was suddenly in your lap. He was heavy - he looked up at you, masked face as unreadable as ever.

... For just a moment, though, you could see eyes behind the cuts in his face. Dim light glanced off what almost resembled two dark camera apertures - clearly staring up at you.

...

“Uh...” You didn’t know what to say. You signed up for giving him a shoulder rub. You weren’t expecting this. 

He took a moment to respond.

“... I’m sorry.” His voice was making you feel some kinda way. “My system just reset. It hasn’t done that in a while. I might need a moment.”

“R-reset? I didn’t break anything, did I?”

He chuckled, gently. “No. Don’t worry. It’s a good thing.”

“Okay. If you say you're fine, I believe you.”

“Thank you, human. That felt... wonderful. It was exactly what I needed.” He sounded thoughtful. Relaxed.

"I'm glad I could help."

"Give me forty-eight more seconds."

"Pft." You grinned down at him. "Okay."

... You kinda felt proud of yourself. But you also really hoped Zenyatta didn't come home to his brother's head in your lap. You weren't entirely sure how you'd live that down.

[idontknowreallyidontcare]

KÖNIG HC’S FOR MY KÖNIG GIRLS.

- I HC him as being definitely taller than your average man, but not his fanon height. Many people go with the narrative that he’s 6’10/2m 08cm’s, for what I understood this is a made up data, nowhere is it specified that he’s actually 6’10, so what I actually assign him is a height of 6’7, we know how Ghost is somewhere between 6’4/6’5 which it’s still pretty tall (1,89 cm), but we also know by comparing the models, that König is a bit taller, so I am kind of basing his height on this difference between him and Ghost. Also, knowing he could not be a sniper because of his height motivates me even more to think that he is indeed a guy bigger than your average. Again, it’s a personal HC, may or may not be shared, it’s not a canon attribute.

- As I already specified in some of my other posts, I view him as a clean individual, in a sense than he has a routine and will try to maintain it even on duty. Being at the barracks will not obstruct his routine, he washes his hair with shampoo and conditioner, he uses a particular face soap, made for his type of skin, and he uses body lotion instead of a bar of soap. It has to be said that he wasn’t always this organized, for example, thanks to you he got to buy the face wash that he now brings everywhere he goes, you kinda talked to him about using a bar of soap for all the body and explained to him how unhygienic was to use the same towel for face, body and cock/ass, because despite you being ‘clean’ after the shower, you’re still dragging bacteria form around your body onto your face and hair, overall you kinda motivated him to uplift his already good habits. He sometimes lets you do his skincare too, and when he remembers, he will actually put some face cream on. He’s still a bit fearful of coming as not very masculine, but you’re making him work on it, so he can accept that taking care of himself will never be a turn down for you, not when he’s already so hot for his age, he better maintain himself!

- Another critical point about our Köni is his age. We have a vague idea of how old he could be, many HC’ing him from 35 to late 40’s. My guess is he could be somewhere between 38 and 43, I do prefer him as a 39/40 years grandpa tho. Again, personal HC, do not take it as canon! I’d be happy honestly if they would reveal his age, probably because no matter what, I’d still simp even if he turned out to be 50 years lmaooooo.

- Yes, he does come from a village in the country side, but he did join military pretty young, so I HC him as being actually a pretty open minded individual. Remember he gets to work with technology every day, he knows what’s going on around the world, and him joining young actually was a benefit, because he got to form his own opinions in a place that welcomed every kind of human beings. He didn’t get to grow up from the hate he received at school so he kind of escaped a life where he could’ve easy became what we call an inc€l today. He grew some balls, got his priorities right. He was for sure subjected to some kind of morally wrong opinions that grew into him, that’s why you’re spending time on him, being patient and trying to explain to him many things he considered undeniable reality until he meet you. The classic ones are: males should not cry because only girls do, women can work but they would be better at home, men don’t pay attention to their physical appearance that’s for feminine boys, and many similar things. He’s slowly getting out of his habits, and you’re proud of him.

- Listen, people have mixed feelings about this one but imma say it, aside from shipping and all, König is not and will never be Homophobic. He does not have any problem with lgbt+ nor is he disturbed by couples openly showing affection in his presence. Early access to internet and a very religious family could have created the worst possible outcome for him, but he was never big into religion, already redeeming it a waste of time at a young age, but still attending church because of his mom. He knows some recruits are openly gay, he doesn’t see a problem nor does it bother him knowing he could be someone’s crush. Now I do HC him as completely straight, but again it’s MY way of imagining König, I still think that in an orgy or threesome with reader, if he trusts the other male part, he would not be against having their cocks in the same hole, rubbing against each other, or in general he would not be against having some skin to skin contact with another male because at the end he does it because it only benefits you.

- He is a perverted dog, not only because he is ‘old’ and has fucked young girls (not minors! He is not morally fucked up like that), or generally his sexual history is pretty normal for a man that age, he was just always eager to see, learn and search for what he felt was exciting to him. He had threesomes before us, he has sex, he did many things that gave him the skills and experience he’s been using on us, but yes overall I HC him as being the one that always had a porn journal under his pillow, he would even lend them around the barracks.

- He loves pussy. He eats it for HIS own pleasure okay? He would die between your legs. He cums only by eating you out. He gets drunk on pussy. Pussy is what he lives for. He’ll never die on field, living purely out of spite, because he’ll no! What do you mean he’s never gonna enjoy your pussy again if he dies! ABSOLUTELY NOT! He’ll get home, beaten, cut, stabbed, whatever, but he’ll be home to you, and he will lick your pussy for the rest of the night saying “this what’s keeping me alive honey”. And truth is you can’t deny it to him, because it’s so good, no matter the circumstances, it always brings him back home.

[svquence]

⋆ ★ riki bf thoughts

✿ pairing! nishimura riki x reader ✿ genre! drabble ✿ wc! 274 ✿ warnings! none

❀ A/N ! this is all MY opinion! also his mbti may not be accurate as there were like 3 diff answers on google so idk. also i am so sorry for my sudden disappearance i ran out of ideas on what to write (and the motivation to do so) LMFAO i’ll be back tho maybe no promises

———————————————————————

• contrary to popular belief i don’t think he’d be the biggest prankster especially if he hadn’t known you for the longest, maybe if y’all were close beforehand

• i’d say he’d be a 50-50 in between cocky and shy

• i’d say he’d be a 50-50 in between cocky and shy

• hear me out, he would be cocky and confident but i feel like making any big move on you would end up in him being EXTREMELY shy

• he doesn’t strike me as the most confident lover but a big (and not necessarily good) flirt

• i think he’d be the type to throw in the funniest pick up lines, that type that’s like they’re so bad that they’re good

• BACK. HUGS. hear me out on this one

• you wouldn’t be able to look at him in the eyes which would be his biggest weakness (simp) plus with the height difference he’d be able to lay his chin on your head/shoulder so its a win win situation

• he doesn’t have rizz. i’m sorry but he just doesn’t. at least he’s cute

• he’s adorable and i feel like he’d really try his hardest to make you happy which is all that matters

• he’d have high expectations for himself in a relationship as, based on his mbti he really values his loved ones a lot

• just because he’d be shy, doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t love physical affection and he seems like the type to really value you making the first move too

• just generally very loveable but he’d require a lot of attention imo

[lilislegacy]

Demigods non-human.

•Absence of menstruation.

•Alarmingly high pain threshold.

•Tendency to Depersonalization-derealization disorder.

•Severe forms of PTSD.

•Too loving and affectionate. the loss of any loved one is perceived extremely hard.

•Creepy appeal. They are too beautiful to be something natural and alive.

•Fearlessness. hardly anything from the mortal world can redeem them.

•Abnormal physical characteristics. too fast, too strong, too agile.

•Most often slight tendency to sadism.

•Predisposition to handling weapons. They are too good at learning how to shoot and use cold steel.

thnks for the ask!

oooh! i love this. yes to all of these!!

my thoughts on a few:

i don’t think sadism applies to all of them, and if it does i don’t think it’s constant. but it definitely is a trait that can come out in them at times. it’s the god in them, especially if they’re a kid of one of the more brutal gods. and i think when it does happen, in most cases, it’s when they’re inflicting pain upon their enemies. but for the demigods that aren’t good people… yeah, sadism - in all its ways - is definitely a more present trait in them than it is with humans.

the menstruation thing. i feel like this has to be true. there’s no way female demigods are dealing with periods while they’re trying to stay alive and go on quests. but then i always question how they get pregnant if they don’t menstruate. but then i always remember how they’re all born and what they’re composed of, and that logic and science doesn’t apply to them lol. (do we think there’s a special demigod birth control? or does normal stuff still work?)

and 100% yes on the abnormal physical abilities and characteristics. they can definitely be thrown around and beat up a lot more. i find myself reading the books and saying things like “how did she not just die?” and “he should be majorly concussed with every bone broken right now.” they are way more agile, way stronger, and way faster than humans. they’re just built different. literally.

i’m gonna add a couple things:

i think demigods have a tendency to be taller. i’m not saying they are all tall - there are certainly exceptions; we know hazel and leo are short - but i think the overall average height for them is taller than it is for humans. for instance, according to google, the average female height is 5’3 and the average male height is 5’7-5’8. but for demigods, i think it’s normal for female demigods to be between 5’5 and 5’8, and for males to be 6 foot or above, you know? like i think full grown piper is 5’6, annabeth 5’10, thalia 5’5-5’7, etc. i think full grown percy is like 6’2 to 6’3, jason around 6’3, frank 6’5, luke 6’1 or 6’2, will 5’11-6’0, etc. i just think they’re naturally taller.

i also definitely think demigods have a slightly non-human look to them, but i don’t think it’s necessarily because they’re all beautiful. a lot of them are, definitely, but not every one. personally, i think it’s all in their eyes. i just feel like when rick describes them, there is always a lot of emphasis on the eyes. annabeth’s are this super unique and intimidating gray and they look like storm clouds, piper’s are multiple colors and look like kaleidoscopes, etc. and i think this especially applies kids of the big 3. like thalia and jason have electric blue eyes, percy’s are a super unique and vibrant sea-green, and hazel’s are literally gold. nico is the only exception having dark brown eyes, but i think they’re still super distinguishable and have a certain wickedness to them. i just think all demigods’ eyes are very unique, intense, and vibrant. their eyes are beautiful and stunning, but also very unsettling if they’re staring at you. that’s the feature that i think makes demigods look not quite human

i’m sure i’ll think of more as soon as i post this lol.

other ideas and opinions welcome!

[socks10858]

HOW TO TELL THE BEATLES APART AS SOMEONE WHO IS NEW TO LISTENING TO THE BAND!!!

- Bored and saw someone else do this, so I wanted to give it a shot -

NOW, it may seem a bit intimidating, seeing as, at first glance, they all look like four pale, British blobs with bad haircuts wearing identical suits, but I promise you that it gets far easier once you figure out the distinctions between them - OF WHICH THERE ARE MANY.

Firstly, let’s start off with with the least difficult (bc, IMO, he is easily the most distinctive-looking member of the the Beatles):

RINGO STARR!!

If you’ve been in the fandom for any amount of time, you’ll know that this little guy’s most obvious tell is that rather large, Roman-esque nose of his - unless he’s standing next to the others in a full body picture, seeing as he’s a good five inches shorter than the rest of them.

I’m guessing that his height goes hand in hand with him also having a very small face; his jaw is very narrow and triangular, with very little definition (not his fault ofc, I’m sure that mewing was a very foreign concept back then to everyone other than George) and a pointy-ish chin.

His eyes are actually very large, though they don’t come across as big as Paul’s do right away because they’re quite hooded and downturned (very sad-looking/puppyish, as has been quoted by many). His lips are kind of thick and his teeth are a bit crooked, especially his left canine - somewhat similar to George’s, but not as long. This also makes his big ol’ grin SO endearing, he’s absolutely adorable.

Also, if you’re looking at coloured photos of them, his hair is a mousy brown, with (although only every now and then, if you peer close enough and if he hasn’t dyed it) a thin grey streak above one of his ears. Overall, he’s very much a cutie.

(Just look at that smile)

Second of all, and my personal second favourite (although he and Ringo swap places every now and then):

GEORGE HARRISON!!

As the youngest and (once again, IMO) most ‘classically handsome’ Beatle, Georgie is also rather easy to tell apart from the others, as long as the photos are being taken in a dimly lit room to show off those defined features.

He’s as thin as a whippet (which I’ve heard was common for working-class kids at the time, seeing as they were growing up on rations after the war) but gracefully, if a little worryingly, so. He also wasn’t as pale as the others (or didn’t appear so in pictures at least) and his skin had a tendency towards acne/was a little pockmarked.

With a long, lean face, the sharpest jawline KNOWN TO MAN, and cheekbones that put Angelina Jolie to shame, he cuts a very striking figure. His dark brown eyes are clear, with especially long lower lashes, and his lower lip is very full.

One particularly cute trait of his is his long, snaggle-teeth - if you look closely at his grin, you can see how his canines stick out quite clearly, just like fangs, though on one side more than the other. Just like a little vampire.

His hair was also extraordinarily thick - like, quote unquote, “a fookin’ turban” - and appears to be a very rich brown. However, his haircut in the early bowl-cut days is easily the worst of the lot of them (sorry George fans, I love him too, but it��s the truth. The moment he saw the fringe he’d been given, he should have called the police.)

Still doesn’t take away from his beauty ofc 🫶🏻

Now, third of the lot:

PAUL MCCARTNEY!!

IK no one asked for my opinion, but, while I agree that Paul was definitely pretty for a man, especially at the time, I don’t find him as much more remarkably handsome than the others as he’s often described. He was kind of just a different type of good-looking, which may have come off as extraordinary in the 60s - however, I am not saying this to detract from his good looks, he’s a gorgeous man.

As absolutely the most PR-conscious of the four, Paul is usually the one with the most charming/friendly expression in any of the group photos or interviews. He has a pale, pixie-ish face, with a straight, almost upturned nose, a somewhat long chin and chubby cheeks that make him look quite cherubic.

His lips are small and dainty, with an evident cupids bow, and he has pretty cute bunny teeth when he smiles. His hazel eyes are large and droopy, framed by notably dark, curled lashes - you’d be able to see them from miles away, they’re like spider-legs. His brows are also VERY arched and defined.

His hair was black/a very dark brown, and DEFINITELY cut the best, for at least a while there in the early 60s.

Though I may not be as biased towards him, I can definitely see why he was called the Cute Beatle.

And, last but not least, my No. 1 Jealous Guy:

JOHN LENNON!!

This time I am being biased when I say that I find this man INCREDIBLY, oddly attractive. Actually, not even oddly - he is quite conventionally good-looking for the most part, but I have a feeling many people don’t acknowledge that bc he’s been so villainised throughout the media. It was also a very different look than what was considered particularly handsome at the time, which frequently makes me very sad to think ab, but whatever.

John can be a bit easier to mix up with some of the others bc his features may not seem as immediately striking in the black and white photos, aside from maybe his nose. His long face was kind made up of angles - similar to George’s, but softer, not as slim/sharp. His jawline was squarish and defined, but bc of his chubby/fuller features in the earlier days it didn’t always look as such. His skin was pale and apparently very delicate.

His very long, thin nose (an aquiline nose, as Paul has repeatedly called it) is one of his most obvious physical traits- in fact, it’s one of the things he’s most well known for. His lips were very slim and pert, and he had quite a huge, cheesy little smile that showed off a row of kind of small, almost sharp looking teeth.

His eyes were almond-shaped and brown, usually thin/squinted due to the fact that he apparently couldn’t see for shit, framed by long, though pretty feathery lashes. His eyebrows were also very thick.

His hair looked fairly brown in the pictures, if a bit lighter than the other’s, but it was actually described as quite shockingly red in person - and u can see it in a few of the coloured photos that r circulating around the place.

People are pretty unfair about him (for the most part, I’m not excusing him entirely) but I still think he was a VERY handsome young man.

[tinydeskwriter]

Dirty Tricks

A/n: Just something I had in my drafts… it’s kinda of angsty…

word count: 974

After what felt like a lifetime she raised her eyes from the dark wood table, eyeing the people around before her eyes landed on the man sitting next to her boyfriend of two years—fiancés, she remembered looking at the emerald ring on her finger— she never had na kind of feelings against him… until now. She couldn’t even look at the other woman siting at the table with them. She felt… ambushed in that position, all by herself, with no one on her side—this wasn’t about her career after all, she was there only as Harry’s significant other—not even the man with whom she shared a private life.

She narrowed her eyes, the big eyes the world seemed to love so much, and looked at the member of the team who had voiced the idea with disdain—which everyone seemed to have been previously briefed about, but her— she scoffed before giving them a predatory grin.

“So… the movie is so shitty that it has to resort to dirty tricks to sell?” She asked no one in particular.

“Y/n…” She held up two fingers at her boyfriend’s manager, fixing him a medusa glare.

“I’am talking, Jeffrey, wait your turn.” She said with bite, her eyes finally going to Harry, she was furious with him for being put in such a position. “Let’s talk H, is this what you think is best for your career?”

“Maybe this is not the place…”Jeff tried to say.

“He’s a grow ass man, Jeff, let him talk for himself.” Her eyes didn’t move from her uncomfortable boyfriend. Harry hated confrontation, worst of all a public one. “I am going to repeat myself: Is THIS what YOU think is the best? Pushing ME to the background of your life, for a bullshit stunt you don’t need? Is it what you honestly believe is the best your career?”

“Jeff believes…” Harry started, finally looking at her.

Y/n rolled her eyes scoffing at his answer.

“I am not asking for Jeff’s opinion Harry.” His face fell as he looked at her, his usually calm fiancee looking livid, properly furious, in a way he only had seen her while acting. 

“Babe, this isn’t what I want, you know that, but the team believe is going to be good for the movie and for my image, and I trust my team.” He tried to appease her, placing his hand over hers, only for her to take it away. “It’s fake, Y/n, not that different from you flirting with your co-stars in interviews.”

She looked at him shocked. “It’s very different Harry, and if you can’t see it…” She was done being there, it wasn’t her career, it wasn’t her choice, she had a photoshoot to attend and a interview to give.

She git up from her chair and gave them all a diplomatic smile, she took the emerald from her finger, placing it in front of Harry on the table, ignoring his shocked expression, “I have the shoot for my Vanity Fair cover, and later I am going to a meeting with Mark, I will either stay at his guest house or the Marmont.” She said looking exclusively at Harry. “You have till tomorrow to make a decision, if you want to go forward with this, fine, as I said, it is your career, but I don’t want your stuff at my place when I get back, Jeff can help you finding a new place.”

She adjusted her jacket over her shoulders and placed her Dior sunglasses on her face. “Jeffrey, it was good seeing you.” she said sarcastically, before turning her back and leaving. 

She was followed out of the room by Harry. He grabbed her arm, preventing her from entering the elevator.

“Lovie, let’s talk about this…” He tried, his hand going up and down her arm. In her heels they are almost the same height.

“There is nothing to talk about Harry, you know where I stand, I won’t stand by and watch my fiancé acting like he’s in love with some other woman,” She looked him in the eyes. “it is hurtful that you’re okay with keeping me a secret like I am a embarrassment to you,” Y/n let out a sarcastic laugh, “honestly, I am a critical acclaimed actress, and your management treat me like I don’t matter, she’s a B-list actress no one cares about, and they are dealing with her like she’s gold, and you agree! Because you’re willing to keep me as your hidden dirty little secret, and show her off to the world pretending that you love her, and you know that we won’t be able to be seen together in public while it is going on, and I will be the man-stealer no matter what when this shit ends.” Y/n refused to cry in front of him. “And you knew this is what was going to be talked about, and you let me come in blind, you let them ambush me.”

Harry was at loss of words.

“It hurts when the man you’re planning to get married to, treat’s you like second best…” She paused for a minute to control o sob that threatened to come out. “You really showed me were I stand in your list of priorities.”

She pulled away from him and pressed the elevator button.

“Treat me like and option and I will leave you like a choice.” She told him with a bitter smile. “I love you H, but I don’t need you, it will hurt like fucking hell, but in a month I’ll have moved on.” She said getting into the elevator, feeling sad that that may be the last time she sees him. 

Harry always let himself be controlled by his management, he wasn’t a push over but he didn’t enjoy confrontations and ‘Jeff knows best’.

PART II

[aclowntiny]

🏰 Ateez as Hogwarts Students🪄

Who wouldn’t want to go to Hogwarts with these boys? 😁 can’t wait to write some AUs for them too!

Hongjoong

☆ “Ah,” the Sorting Hat hums as it’s set atop Hongjoong’s head, “the mind of an artist. Don’t see this one too often. Creative, determined, you like to do what you want.” With a chuckle, the hat’s folds opened again, this time with a shout of “Ravenclaw!” Hongjoong is proud, hoping he could represent the house known for creatives and intellectuals who push boundaries.

☆ Proudest “blood traitor” Pure-Blood family this side of Hogwarts, that’s the Kims, especially Hongjoong 😌

☆ Like, the only student at Hogwarts who has an actual knack for Divination, like he actually sees things and they actually make sense. No one believes Hongjoong until something actually comes true. He even asks for his own crystal ball from his parents for Christmas and customizes a really pretty base for it. He’s also really skilled at Transfiguration, all the really flowing magic just cones to him even though there’s a precision to that one. Hongjoong can roll with it all!

☆ He doesn’t hate any of his classes, but History of Magic is the least interesting one for sure.

☆ Hongjoong joins the Ravenclaw Quidditch team as a Chaser, a position where he can lead and guide the team…and also try to pull as many distracting trick shots as he can! Gets really creative with how he spins the ball.

☆ He cannot wait to see what his Patronus looks like, secretly hoping to either get something adorable or really beautiful. He gets his wish and then some as wings burst out, a phoenix flying from his wand. It is quite rare for someone to have a magical creature for a Patronus, but chalk that up to Hongjoong’s spirit! He absolutely adores his Patronus, the sight of it perched on his shoulder, and his heart swells. His memories literally created magic.

Seonghwa

☆ He kind of wants Gryffindor, but has been told he'd make a good Hufflepuff, so ultimately Seonghwa leaves it up to the hat's decision. "Leaving it up to me, huh?" The Sorting Hat chuckles. "You're kind. You care for and value others...and their opinions apparently! You're a Hufflepuff!" Huh, so that was that.

☆ Having Muggle parents, he was quite surprised to develop powers, but a quick visit from his future teachers cleared things up…sort of! He can’t get over how amazing Diagon Alley is, dragging his parents into every shop he can.

☆ Absolutely ENAMORED with Care of Magical Creatures, like oh my gosh little tree guys! Funny cats! A REAL HIPPOGRIFF??? Seonghwa can’t get enough of the fantastic animals. He’s also a natural at Herbology, basically you can always trust him to keep things alive! Both of those classes simultaneously relax and excite him.

☆ Flying? Up that high? No thank you!

☆ Due to his fear of heights, Seonghwa doesn’t join Hufflepuff’s Quidditch team, but is the loudest, proudest supporter out there! You’ll always find him in the stands, especially since he has friends in every house.

☆ Seonghwa wonders what animal he'll get: maybe a cute cat or a big, strong tiger? A lovely mare? Sort of! A large pegasus is what ends up soaring from the tip of his wand, spreading its gorgeous wings and snuffling at its partner, bringing a wide-eyed look of eye and smile to him as he reaches his hands out to the white winged horse.

Yunho

☆ He’s outgoing, so maybe Gryffindor? That’s what Yunho thinks as he does some pre-hat self-reflection. The hat, however, takes a different approach. “Hm, kind, loving, loyal, yes, very loyal…” “Thanks!” Yunho exclaims, surprised the hat seems so nice. This isn’t so bad! “This one goes to Hufflepuff!” Yunho is surprised, but it makes sense given what the hat said. Happiness shouldn’t be too hard to find in Hogwarts’s kindest house!

☆ Yunho’s family is Pure-Blooded, but they raise their children with great sympathy for those without magic.

☆ Due to his interest in the world outside of wizarding, Yunho signs up for the Muggle Studies elective and loves it. They use electricity? Like lightning trapped in metal and that’s how telephones work? It’s almost more amazing how people go without magic than just waving a wand and making things move on their own! He also enjoys Charms, just quick little spells he can let go on the fly for fun.

☆ Doesn’t really hate any particular classes, but he got emotionally attached to the mandrake he raised in Herbology and got sad when it died.

☆ One of Hufflepuff’s Chasers. Loves the feeling of the wind in his hair and being able to fly victory loops when he scores and wins!

☆ Yunho is so excited when it’s his turn to try a Patronus, practically bouncing on his heels and hoping he gets a cool one as he remembers so many wonderful and exciting moments of his life so far. With quite a burst, a golden retriever leaps out and stands up on him, almost bowling him over!

Yeosang

☆ "You're an interesting one, aren't you?" "Er, thank you...sir?" Yeosang glanced upward at the mass of fabric atop his head. "You're trying not to laugh right now," the hat exposes him, "and yet a thousand ideas are coming to your head. Best express a few of those. Ravenclaw!" Yeosang wasn't sure what he was expecting, sure he thought he could make Gryffindor and some of his friends teased him about being a shoo-in for Slytherin, but something about being in a quiet, intelligent house didn't bother him either. He could be more than happy about that!

☆ A Half-Blood born to a Muggle and a wizard, Yeosang has a foot in both worlds. Magic is no great surprise to him, though, being raised around all his wizarding family and the rest sworn to secrecy! His Muggle cousins are so jealous he gets powers!

☆ Enjoys Astronomy because it’s really relaxing to look at the stars and draw beautiful charts. The idea that they might reveal secrets is amazing to Yeosang too. He jokes about taking Muggle Studies just for the bit, but ends up in Ancient Runes with Hongjoong. It’s a hard class but at least they can write secret code notes to each other!

☆ He’s not a huge fan of Potions because the mistakes tend to get messy! Wishes he could take it with Wooyoung every year.

☆ Ravenclaw’s Seeker, Yeosang has a knack for focusing in on one thing and even when his eyes wander, having them land on the golden snitch!

☆ Frankly, Yeosang isn’t sure what he’s expecting, like will the animal look like him? Represent his memories somehow? Just be whatever it happens to be? Despite having no specific expectations, he still can’t contain his awe and surprise when a glowing lioness slides out of his wand, fierce but caring and capable, and leans to peer at him with soft eyes.

San

☆ He’s not sure if he’s more of a Slytherin or a Gryffindor honestly, but the assumption in his mind is that he’s one of the two. “Slytherin or Gryffindor, huh?” The Sorting Hat asks. “Well, I just thought of those as the houses that take action, and-” “You’re a doer, huh?” The hat replies. “Big heart, too. I’ll say…Gryffindor!” The hat seemed to agree with San and listen to him, so he’s happy to join the house of lions!

☆ San is a Half-Blood, his parents being a Half-Blood and a Muggleborn, so he has plenty of wizarding experience along with his sister, but there’s something special about the memories they make with their Muggle grandparents!

☆ This boy loves to fly! He’s pretty sad it’s only an official regular class in First Year because an hour of flying is the best decompress after a bunch of lessons. He also really loves Care of Magical Creatures, trying to apply what he knows from caring for the cat he brings to Hogwarts as if it’ll help him remember what nifflers eat!

☆ History of Magic bores him, but at least it’s a good excuse to goof off and play with his friends in- all while keeping his head up as much as possible, of course.

☆ One of Gryffindor’s Chasers. Addicted to the rush of flying, just being able to soar around after the balls. Also loves having that opportunity to contribute to a team, it makes his heart warm!

☆ Everyone says it’s going to be a cat, and San just laughs, saying he wouldn’t mind at all. Well, luckily for his Patronus San is good-natured, for it slinks out of his wand as a Siamese cat that looks suspiciously familiar… perhaps Patronuses really are made from the things people love most.

Mingi

☆ Mingi wants to be in Ravenclaw, even though the house’s reputation for great minds is a bit daunting. “So, it’s Ravenclaw you want?” The Sorting Hat asks him. “Well, if I’m being honest,” Mingi replies, “yes. I- I think I can do it!” “Of course you can. You’ve a good mind on you,” the hat tells him, “Ravenclaw it is!” So proud to be in his dream house, Mingi swears to prove himself worthy of it.

☆ As a Muggleborn, he gets thrust into the wizarding world very quickly, but he makes friends the moment they set foot in Diagon Alley, so that’s where he learns about things like his school’s houses and sports. Mingi feels so lucky to get to experience it all and that the other kids he meets are so nice!

☆ Absolute Arithmancy whiz! Everyone’s whining about how hard it is and here’s Mingi with his great grades like it’s nothing, even though he’s forgotten his inkwell a few times. Everyone thinks he’s not going to be good at Potions but he surprises them with that too. Never has any big blowups and really likes making different brews once he gets the hang of it!

☆ Defense Against the Dark Arts makes him nervous because he didn’t realize how dangerous the wizarding world could be! Could those things really be out there to get him or his friends? He can only hope he remembers all he learns.

☆ Prefers watching Quidditch to playing, but he hand-makes a banner to wave in the stands that is the most precious mood booster to the team!

☆ Mingi isn’t sure what he’s going to get, jokes ranging from a powerful lion despite him being in Ravenclaw to a little leaping bunny. As his will is focused through his hand and wand, though, joy turning into light, it takes the shape of a snowy owl. Wise, fierce-looking, and yet…it tumbles over and bursts into what looks like a smile at the sight of its caster and Mingi can’t help smiling back!

Wooyoung

☆ The Sorting Hat speaks almost the second it’s placed on Wooyoung’s head. “Oh, Merlin! This one’s a Gryffindor if I’ve ever seen one!” Grinning, Wooyoung is off the stool in no time, proud to get the house he wanted so definitively.

☆ He’s a Half-Blood, both of his parents wizards just descended from mixed lines, plenty of Muggleborn and Half-Blood genes contributing. He used to joke that his family needed to be careful or else they’d end up with a bunch of squibs, but he couldn’t care less about blood- they’re his family.

☆ This boy LOVES Charms- any class he can use to screw with his friends is a great one for Wooyoung! He’s also an absolute star at Potions AKA his friends’ savior when they need help. He just legitimately loves it, though, so working on even the homework for it is often fun for him!

☆ Cannot STAND History of Magic, it’s just blah blah blah…but at least he can kick San under the bench and see what random stuff he can levitate without Binns noticing (it’s a lot).

☆ Another of Gryffindor’s Chasers, Wooyoung is known for taking (and often landing) really daring shots! May even want to try out for captain later on.

☆ Jokes about his Patronus looking like a lion because he’s that proud to be a Gryffindor, but as he remembers good times with friends and family and a fox leaps from his wand with a sly tilt of its head, Wooyoung can’t help but feel like he got the perfect partner.

Jongho

☆ "You're good at something once you put your mind to it." Jongho's mouth fell open into a little 'o' of surprise, not expecting a compliment from the Sorting Hat of all people...well, beings? "Convincing, too, very convincing. You can take charge when you need to." Jongho nodded along with the hat's words right up to the moment it called out "Slytherin!" He was a bit surprised being so brave and active, but he sort of had the feeling it'd be either Gryffindor or Slytherin.

☆ A Pure-Blood wizard, Jongho doesn’t let the pressure of that get to him- to him they’re all witches and wizards, it’s their skills and application that depend, and he intends to use and grow his!

☆ One of his favorite subjects is Flying because it helps him practice for Quidditch, one of his greatest areas of desire to achieve! He also adores Muggle Studies, the class where he learns about Muggle sports like soccer and subsequently tries to find Muggleborns to play with him.

☆ Considers dropping Divination because it’s such a ridiculous class, but keeps it just because it ends up being some of the most fun bonding time with friends. And ok, fine, once something may have been accurate and the curiosity has eaten him up since.

☆ One of Slytherin’s Beaters, and boy is he good at it! Such a strong arm makes for some spectacular Bludger shots. A big part of why the other teams are worried about playing Slytherin.

☆ Is determined to cast a corporeal Patronus, focusing with all his might on his best memory. It definitely pays off, he thinks, as a massive light fills the space in front of him, coalescing into the form of a big grizzly bear ready to firmly protect him.

[nerdy-the-artist]

Space Pirate Design Ranking

The Metroid series has a boatload of different designs, completely changing between every game except the 2D iterations. Some think it’s simple design inconsistency, others think that they’re different genetic manipulations of the same species, while others (including myself) are of the opinion that the Space Pirates are a collective made up of various species. Today, I’ll be ranking these designs based on what they convey and, simply, what I think is cool and aesthetically pleasing. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll only be ranking the standard Space Pirate variant of each game, the “core enemy type” if you will. And yes, Metroid Prime 4 Beyond is here, though its place in the ranking is subject to change as we get more closer looks.

7. Metroid Prime 2 Echoes

Some people may consider this a sin to put so low on the list but, to me, this really just doesn’t fit the whole vibe of the Space Pirates, especially in the Prime series. In the Metroid Prime saga, the Space Pirates are an authoritarian empire who recklessly abuse technological advancement for the sake of domination. This just… doesn’t say that. It’s a good design, don’t get me wrong, but this really looks like some weird skeleton knight. I could see this crawling out of some crypt to seek vengeance, not descending from a space ship to plunder. For that reason, I gotta put this guy in last place.

6th place: Metroid Prime Federation Force

For many of the problems Metroid Prime 2’s design has, I think Federation Force remedies… and then makes the opposite mistakes. Federation Force’s Space Pirate design is, canonically, around the same height as Metroid Prime’s Omega Pirate. Why make mechs for your game if you’re just gonna scale the enemies up anyway is anyone’s guess. With that in mind, I kinda like this as a heavy unit for the Space Pirates, but the center of this design just is a bit hard to look at. I love the limbs and the inclusion of the iconic Prime Pirate energy blade. There’s a mix of fleshy joints and tough, metal plating that I enjoy, I actually like the bright red eyes as well, especially for a heavy unit. But the carapace around it just feels… it’s kinda hard to look at. That mouth, as well, is just a bit too buggy and lacks expressiveness. Really, that’s my edict on this thing. Good extremities, but lacks expression and is generally tough to look at. Still, I imagine someone could retool/retexture this thing to be a real banger of a design.

5th place: Metroid Other M

From here on, these designs are ones I truly like as Space Pirates. Metroid Other M’s Space Pirate design was a tough one to find a good image of. This was about the best one I could find in a cursory search. As far as official designs go, I think this is the best translation of the iconic Zebesian Space Pirate to 3D we’ve ever gotten. There was a small effort made in Prime 2 to bring the claws back, but here there are on full display and they look great. The whole design is, honestly, fantastic. You can see the smooth bands around the limbs and torso, downward pointed jaw, and the big, smooth, blank eyes of the old sprite. The spines on the back and head really add some personal flare to these guys as well, and the whole design has a delightfully cheesy color scheme that I simply adore. I think the series has designs that evoke certain feelings and themes better, but this is certainly a fun looking guy.

4th place: Metroid Prime 3 Corruption

Unlike every other type but the Zebesians, the Space Pirates of Corruption have a distinct name based on the Homeworld we explore, Urtraghians. There is a distinctly pseudo organic bend to these guys, with the textures on the armor plating feeling almost Xenomorphic. However, where I think this design stands out is, of course, the head. The long, pointed teeth clearly visible under the rows of eyes really makes this eel-like head intimidating. You can really imagine the Urtraghians descending from their ships in a city, gunning down innocents and plundering whatever they choose. These animalistic terrors will smell where you’re hiding and drag you out kicking and screaming. It really fits the Space Pirates’ role in the story. From day one, they really have just been a bogeyman for the Federation. We rarely actually see them doing… ya know… pirating. The rampant technological obsession was a concept introduced by the Prime trilogy. As a design for the Bogeyman of the Galaxy, I think the Urtraghians work great.

3. Metroid Prime 4 Beyond

Haha, 3 is for 4 and 4 is for 3. This will be subject to change and many people might not rank them until we get clearer images, but uh… I’m doin it. Beyond’s pirates have a very buggy design, but in a way that’s parallel, not identical, to the Zebesian designs from the 2d games. Their mouth is split into mandibles, they have a hard carapace, and their movements can be jittery and unsettling. The large size of them compared to the Federation personnel seen in the trailer really evokes power and control. Their armor has outward pointed edges and defined pectorals. These are conquerors, proud, undefeatable warriors. The sparseness of it also evokes a sense of confidence, as if they don’t need a full covering when their hardened shell is so superior to weak flesh. It’s almost ornamental in a way. (Though someone should remind them they lost in every previous fight against Samus). Their mandibular maws, hunched backs, double thumbed hands, and digitigrade stance (standing on their toes with their heels off the ground) also evokes a certain other core enemy type in a sci fi shooter.

I’m going to leave it here for now as I have some other stuff to get to at the moment and I Forgor the image limit on Tumblr posts. I’ll get the ranking for the final (first?) two designs by the end of today. Then, I might make a post about what roles I’d fit these different species into for my own storytelling purposes.

[void-f3lt]

🌟•:{Iter Astra}:•💫

In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have jolted up the moment he saw a humanoid lizard with sharp ass teeth, cause that headache and ringing ears was not worth making said orange and black monitor lizard with horns, also, jolt. Actually it looked like he scared the shit out of everything in the other cells, whoops at least he knows everyone else knows now.

His cell was less wide then the others and it has a cubby like area at the top, back and only solid wall, it was about seven and a half feet up, with a gap between the tile that he could probably put his fingers in so he could climb that easier. There were many different types of aliens, some sentient some not, in neighboring cells. 

One cell to his left and four to his right that he can see residents in but, there was definitely more probably twelve to sixteen and he can also hear at least one other floor under him. He was much smaller than all of them, since the stupid height average in space is six to seven feet tall for sentients that looked like the prey species. Though most of them still have claws, sharp teeth and/or talons, so like the animals back on Earth, they probably could still eat him if they hadn’t been fed for awhile. 

Whatever they drugged him with made him feel a little dizzy and nauseous so he laid back down. He did not whimper. He was just… unwell. *Yea. That was it.* He wasn’t scared because he was in space jail with predators and lost his brother... He was just feeling a bit sick. The lights seemed to be strong UV lights given the fact that he can see his Blaschko lines *I really hope I don’t get skin cancer from this or something. Why do they use UV lights in the first place.*

Every now and then, he’d look at the aliens in the other cells, they were interesting to look at and he was curious. There were aliens that walked outside his cell too and they wore armor and they either had more muscle or spikes. One looked dull purple humanoid scorpion, that one was staring at him for a little too long in his opinion. He tried to commit how often they passed by to memory. It would be helpful later to know their patrol schedule. 

The staring from nearly every other sentient seeming being there was unnerving. It felt like hours before most of them seemed to lose interest in him. Now a few aliens in the cells to his left and two from a cell to the right, seemed to be arguing amongst themselves. As Vecko would call it ‘a skinny big bird’ looking alien kept looking back at him, he kind of remembered seeing one back on another planet fighting some criminal, so he, a free traveling unlicensed space pirate, is trapped in a trafficking ship with a fucking space cop. 

As he realized this he fell on his back banging his head violently on the metal floor, groaned and said with his hands covering his mouth and eyes closed, “Fuck my life, why does it always have to be Me.” And judging by the sudden silence he scared the shit out of the other sentients again.

The big bird like sentient looked like a humanoid Sulpher-Crested Cockatoo, but with a longer beak. Instead of white feathers they had light gold and their crest was more beige-taupe. Pistachio green eyes. Their wings didn’t look like they could fly with them but they still looked longer then Tobey was tall and he was 5’3. *Fucking hell, why does the interplanetary height average have to be in the fucking double digits?* They also had taupe brown talons that were most likely three inches on the wings and the ones on their legs were closer to four or five inches. 

Also it was wearing a worn down sleeveless to accommodate their wings, black leather jacket that looked like the color of juniper bark in some places, the collar being the mast prominent from where he’s angled. *Probably faux given.. would they actually have issues with real leather? Are there cow looking aliens?* They also had a white tank-top, black sleeveless leather jacket, a black belt with venetian red and dark and possibly stained with blood, beige cargo pants, it looks more like shorts though. Apparently Alt/Punk fashion is universal, who knew.

After seemingly the end of a conversation that he completely missed Sulpher (what he’s calling the bird) stood up and started walking over to the bars and then squatted in front of Tobey, who shifted back just a little bit before realizing that Sulpher can’t reach him cause of the electrocuted bars. A slightly familiar warbling came from Sulpher. He only says slightly because he’s heard similar when stealing borrowing his ship from the sellers in that unlicensed port he crashed into. 

Sulpher didn’t try to reach through the bars but they were looking directly at him. Not his eyes though cause apparently that’s a universal way to either get your ass beat or cause an entire building to be evacuated. Yes he learned that the hard way. Fun days.

Sulpher shifted after a moment, bringing their armwings together to fiddle with its talonfingers. *Were they nervous? Is that what happened to their collar?* They made noise again and Tobey noticed a pattern as well as a questioning little shift to its tone. *So it is a language!* And they were trying to ask him a question. Now he’s getting excited. The lizard from the right-most cell said something, and then he whipped his head back and made everyone flinch, again. He should really stop doing that.

Sulpher then replied with a bright tone, and  turned their attention back to Tobey. They pointed at him and then drew a circle in the air. Tobey shifted to sit criss-cross (which Sulpher and a dull navy with pastel pink accents, humanoid dragonfly looked at him weirdly when he did so *probably not normal then*) so that he could see better and also to be more comfortable, he and his brother always sat like this when they got dad to go on a rambling spree.

Were they asking what planet he’s from? That seemed possible based on the context. “Earth.” The aliens all froze when he spoke. Sulpher recovered first. They put a hand to their chest. “### ##### ## Ariho.” Tobey squinted his eyes a little in frustration that he didn’t know words he hasn’t been taught yet. “Ariho,” they repeated while patting their chest. They’re telling him its name! Or species. Either way not a normal word, therefore important.

“Ariho?” He mimicked almost perfectly, (a hint of a British and it would have been perfect) and apparently that isn’t common thing and/or they just weren’t expecting him to get it right first try. Everyone listening startled *again, why??* but then Sulpher made a chirping sound. They were probably happy, maybe they were part of a species that was oriented on parent/child relationships. 

That’d be pretty cool, and convenient if he played his cards right. No, no manipulating.

Then Sulpher/maybe Ariho pointed to Tobey. Do they want his name?

“Tobey,” he offered. 

“Obeey?”

“Tobey.”

“Toebean?” That one made him laugh.

“Tobey.”

“Tobey?”

“Tobey,” he confirmed with a nod and thumbs up, which in hindsight probably confused them a little but either way they got names down, Now what?

Sul-Ariho? repeated the pointing and drawing a circle motions, this time adding a gesture to the cage around them. He was still a little dazed so, they were back to square one on that one. The charades repeated a few more times before they realized he wasn’t getting they tried something else, that he could not make sense of in the slightest therefore that also failed. 

[jessicas-pi]

MANDALORIANAKIN AU INCORRECT QUOTES

Anakin: You have your weirdly sincere humility. Bo-Katan: I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.

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Korkie: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird? Anakin: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

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Anakin: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity? Bo-Katan, turning to Fenn: How tall are you?

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Anakin: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- Satine: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

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Satine: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night. Anakin: All I drank was Space Redbull! Satine: How many? Anakin: Eighteen.

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Anakin: Never gonna make you cry! Korkie: Never gonna say goodbye! Anakin: Never gonna tell a lie— Bo-Katan: I will hurt you.

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Korkie: Hey, Auntie Bo? I need advice. Bo-Katan: I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?

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*Satine brings Anakin to the Jedi Temple for a visit while she's on Coruscant* Obi-Wan: Would you like to stay for dinner? Qui-Gon, fron the kitchen: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

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Fenn: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river. Bo-Katan: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

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Fenn: Why are you on fire? Anakin: This is just how my day is going.

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Anakin (age 9): Miss Satine, I want a bedtime story! Satine: I’ve got a speech to write for a meeting in the morning. I’ll tell you one tomorrow, okay? Anakin: If you don’t tell me a story, I won’t go to bed! Satine: Satine: Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Anakin, who always wanted things his way. One day, his friends got sick of it and locked him in the basement for the rest of their life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end. Anakin: I don’t like these stories with morals.

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Satine: Fenn, gather the others. We need to have another Anakin-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-him-before-he-hurts-someone convention.

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Korkie and Anakin (when they're kids): Can we go out to get ice cream? Bo-Katan: Did you ask Satine? Korkie: She said no. Bo-Katan: Then why did you ask me? Anakin: She's not the boss of you! Bo-Katan, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

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Fenn: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Bo-Katan: It was autocorrect. Fenn: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Bo-Katan: Yes.

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Anakin: Padme and I are having another child! Sabine Wren: Aww, congrats! I bet Leia and Luke are so exci— Anakin: *slams down adoption papers* it's you, sign here

[indieyuugure]

What are your opinions on Xever Montes’ Mutation to Fish face. I saw some people complaining about him being nerfed. Or complaining about him being a fish, excetra. One of the comments I came across said that they wish he had become something more agile, to fit his fighting style. And I thought occurred to me that it was technically an opportunity to bring in a 2012 version of Overdrive. but they probably didn’t do it because of TigerClaw.

I personally don’t really care about that. And my Tiger Claw is a Good guy. So I decided to utilize the idea of Xever becoming a Rise/Prodigy version of Overdrive

OOOHHH!! I love this idea! And your design looks so cool! Xever the Jaguar Man!! I gotta remember this one!

Oh, I’ve never heard of that criticism before. I actually didn’t think it to be much of a nerf, since, while yes he has to rely on robot legs to walk around and oxygenated water to keep him breathing, he makes a few references to being strong than before.

I think too with his venomous bite, he’s probably at least equal to his previous form. I do kind of wish he would at least try to use his bite more often, though I do understand the writer’s apprehensions to doing that as Raphael already got bit, so having more characters get bit might seem repetitive and loose it’s gravity. However, Xever perhaps at least trying would seem a little more believable, even if he doesn’t succeed again, but idk, just a personal opinion.

I do agree it would be very cool if Xever was a jaguar. Not exactly sure where he’d come into contact with one of those, but it would be cool to see. I do also agree that having a jaguar and a tiger villain on screen could become confusing.

There’s some what of a rule to designing characters that your characters should be iconic enough that you can tell who it is and tell them apart from the others purely by silhouettes. The turtles scrape this line very close, but with them being different heights and sizes and having different weapons, you can usually see the difference.

Perhaps if they made Xever something more like a cheetah or just a very thin jaguar, they could’ve gotten away with it, as Xever is very thin, and Tiger Claw is very broad, you’d still be able to recognize them as separate characters.

Again though, I don’t know, just some thoughts. I definitely like Xever more as a big cat, though I think I still like his fish design as well. I don’t know who Overdrive is(I’m guessing probably a IDW original?) kinda sounds like a transformer, lol 😂

Good question! :]