#and these were blogs that never had anything to do with posting mature content they were just victims of either the algorithm or some joker
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People have been getting their blogposts marked as mature even when they weren´t. And some of those blogs got deactivated/deleted afterwards.
Hey! Yeah, I'm just wondering about the actual content of those blogposts. They mentioned "women," so like ... are we talking photos of women going shopping, like something normal? Or are we talking about hugely suggestive images of some lady in skimpy underwear which is definitely NSFW if you were to pull it up at work?
Idk, I got the vibe that the complaints were obscuring the context for a reason, because that is exactly tumblr's M.O. Maybe that's not the case here and the complaints are totally justified. But if we're talking suggestive images and skimpy clothing, and the post wasn't tagged or under a read-more, than I think the indignation is misplaced and you're gonna get people suggesting a mature label for very understandable reasons.
And you don't even have to be following blogs to get that kind of NSFW content shoved at you. If you stare cross-eyed at the wrong random post, suddenly you'll have a whole string of NSFW posts shoved at you without warning in the "For You" section, which I've experienced multiple times, and I don't even know what the triggering post was. So the real issue might be the recommendation algorithm that's shoving these posts at people who never displayed interest in that material.
But either way, it really depends on what the problem posts were. If they're normal, then some people out there are being malicious. If they're NSFWish then the mature label is specifically meant for filtering that stuff out of people's feeds.
But also, idk why blogs getting a mature label would be deactivated. That's not what the mature label does, I don't think? Like, it's supposed to be a tool for the viewers AND the blogger.
#idk maybe I'm wrong about the mature label#I've followed many blogs that were “mature-ified” and never noticed any difference#except a pixellated icon#and these were blogs that never had anything to do with posting mature content they were just victims of either the algorithm or some joker#asks#answers#lhunuial#if someone knows a good example plz do tell
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You gonna do anything or make any statement about the rampant transmisogyny on this hellsite, especially in cases like predstrogen recently? Or yall gonna stay silent and keep letting/making us get pushed off of it.
I have a number of asks about this, so this is to address all of them, I won't do each individually.
We generally do not comment on individual cases, but because there seems to be mass misinformation around this, I will make an exception and comment on predstrogen.
First, Tumblr has a number of LGBT+ including trans people on staff, and they see things from the inside fully, and they're not protesting this case.
Why do we wrongly have a transphobe reputation? We did have an external contract moderator last year that was making transphobic moderation (and also selling moderation, criminally). As soon as we were aware that person was fired, and we later terminated the entire relationship with that contracting firm and have brought almost everything in-house (at great cost). I have previously commented on this publicly, several times.
I am not aware of any Automattician (people who work at Automattic and Tumblr) who has made any transphobic moderation actions. If it's reported it is investigated immediately, if anything were found that person would be terminated for cause immediately.
Predstrogen's account was suspended for:
Repeated mis-tagging of adult content against Tumblr's community guidelines. This has nothing to do with clothed transition photos, she had 20+ other blogs and multiple accounts with names so explicit I can't post them here without a mature tag.
Multiple cases of harassment of other Tumblr users, not just me.
Multiple threats of violence, not just the one I share below.
These represent a breach of our Terms of Service, and we've exercised our right to refuse service.
Threats of violence are never okay. Threats of violence are not protected speech. We will work with police and FBI where appropriate, though to be clear prestrogen's case hasn't warranted that so far. I'm referring to what we may potentially do for other threats. I just got a death threat yesterday from someone mad about predstrogen, and that account was immediately terminated.
So regardless of whether you still think Tumblr staff is somehow a bunch of transphobes, know that threats of violence or death are still not acceptable and will result in immediate and serious action. Know that when you rile people up, they can do dumb things with possibly permanent consequences.
(2 hours later update: I have changed instances of the pronoun "they" or "their" to "the account" because I am unaware of pronoun preference in this instance and don't want to misgender anyone. Thank you for the people who reported this as an issue. Update 2: "She" is apparently better, the post now says that. Sorry for the mistake.)
Here's one (of many!) examples of the harassment violations, this one targets me but there are others targeting other users on the site.
The second part seems to indicate she wanted to be suspended, I'm unaware of why, perhaps to create this sort of uproar. I agree the hammers feel silly, but the start, "i hope photomatt dies forever a painful death" is a violation of Tumblr's community guidelines and terms of service.
The car part did hit close to home as I have almost died twice in car accidents.
Update 2: Added this text to the adult content part: This has nothing to do with clothed transition photos, she had 20+ other blogs and multiple accounts with names so explicit I can't post them here without a mature tag.
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devils roll the dice.
〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉
event | kinkmas 2023
prompts | sex tape + medfet
pairing | hitman!robert pronge x innocent!reader
warnings | extremely dark, the darkest thing i've ever written (we've entered dead dove do not eat territory; please heed ALL warnings.) canon-level mature themes: kidnapping, torture films, murder. implications that reader will be killed. robert is cold and ruthless. innocent!virgin!reader. filming of illicit sex tape. reader is blindfolded and gagged. restraints. medfet elements: robert's little setup is giving vintage white tile exam room, exam table, stirrups, those gd black gloves, speculum use. clit focus (puff puff content incoming.) vibrator. multiple forced orgasms. squirting. overstimulation. mocking and degradation. robert puts a cig out on reader's leg. written in 3rd person idk.
word count | 1,485
an | i'm kind of sitting here like wtf, ,, what is this and how did it come out of me lol. a little nervous to post, but i trust you guys to make responsible decisions about the media you consume!!! i'll probably never write something this fucked up again but for whatever reason it was just flowing out of me tonight folks, please again i'm begging you go read the warnings, like a second time through wouldn't hurt lol, and i hope you enjoy!!
Bringing its bitter end to his lips, Robert used one hand to draw in a deep breath of his dwindling cigarette, the other lazily holding a black magic wand in its designated place. He was nearly an hour into the day's filming session, and his subject was reaching a level of exhaustion and misery that made her more annoying to play with than anything else. But knowing he needed to milk at least a little more footage out of her before putting her back under and calling it a day, the man kept at the task. He tried to remind himself that he should be enjoying himself; considering the kinds of commissions he generally had to choose from, this particular case was a treat. A pretty little virgin, as soft and pure as the early spring rain, with the most stunning body the criminal had ever had the privilege of defiling. He could spend another thirty minutes at his station, watching as all the life and dignity were drained out of his poor little victim like blood dripping to the cold tile floor.
Through the musty cloth rammed between her battered lips, the poor girl's cries were escalating as her tormentor swirled the curve of the wand's slick bulb over her burning clit. Robert knew what her worsening wails meant; with a callous grin, he pulled his cig from his mouth just in time to press its smoking end to the girl's inner thigh as she came. With the howl she let out, he was thankful for the buffer the gag provided. "Noisy little bitch," he laughed as her juices sprayed out against his gloved hands. "That's it, slut. Fucking take it."
Glancing at the camcorder sitting off to his side, Robert considered his options. As much satisfaction as he derived from seeing how many orgasms could be wrung out of the poor thing before her body knocked her out as an act of mercy, his sadistic tendencies were getting bored of the monotony. Tossing the used cigarette to the floor, the man slowed the wand to a stop. He rolled away slightly on his stool, tossing the condom that was wrapped over the toy's head into the large black trash bag sitting in the center of the large room's floor. This far into his career, Robert had his methods down to a science. There was a way to keep everything clean, everything untraceable.
It was the whole purpose of his "worksite"; it provided a secure, controlled environment for the entire job to take place in, from start to flatline finish. The "set" was by far his favorite portion of the space, and understandably so, as it's where his sick imagination got to run wild for hours, days on end. And his clients were just as enthusiastic about the vivid stage he had put together for their subjects to shine on. It was somewhat inspired by a vintage gynecology office. He had the classic off-white exam table, equipped with a daunting pair of metal stirrups that were always positioned just a little wider than what would be comfortable. A sturdy set of restraints were of course a must, and to make sure the camera picked up on every agonizing detail, he had installed an adjustable surgical light overhead that could be aimed and drawn in to illuminate any area or action he chose. He hadn't struggled to gather all the tools and instruments he could ever want, either. A few of his buyers were licensed professionals themselves, opening the door to acquiring inventory from the big-name brands in bulk.
The other corners of the room had their designated uses as well: one with a filthy mattress for the unconscious victims to waste away on as heavy drugs pumped through their systems, another with large plastic sheets covering the floor, walls, and ceiling where the poor souls were hosed down (inside and out) before a bullet to the temple inevitably ended their long days of suffering. But most of their waking hours were spent on that dreaded padded table, the very spot where Robert's most recent capture was using the few moments he spent away from his station desperately trying to regain control of her breathing.
He returned to his position swiftly after switching out his soiled pair of black gloves for fresh ones, not wanting to waste any of his or his client's time. The sight of the girl's abused sex was enough to make the man drool; it had been quite some time since he had seen such a marvelous-looking cunt, so glorious in its messy destruction. Knowing he should share the beautiful sight, he took the time to adjust the camera, zooming in from a full-body shot to focus solely on the spot between the victim's legs. With the humiliating inspection he was preparing to perform, he wanted to be sure his buyer got to see each drop of come the poor girl let out, every twitch and spasm he would pull from her helpless body.
"Now let's see here," the man breathed as he brought his gloved fingers up to gently spread out the ruined-looking pussy before him. Noticing the way his subject winced as her puffy folds were pried open, he couldn't help but laugh in dark delight. He drew his attention to her throbbing clit, noting how much it had grown in size from all those unwanted orgasms he had forced out of her. Its hood was completely retracted, leaving the poor bud exposed to the open air. In a moment of perverted curiosity, Robert pinched the hardened nub harshly between his fingers, earning the prettiest sob he had heard from the girl all day. He chuckled once more, rolling and pulling at the knot of flesh for a few more seconds of additional torture before finally moving his hands away.
"What do you think? Should we try for one more?" he mused mockingly as he grabbed a plastic speculum from one of the drawers built in beneath the table, unwrapping it and tossing its trash to the side before pausing to grin deviously over his victim. Glancing up at her head, he realized it was still covered with a black hood he had put on her at the beginning of the shoot. The buyer had requested for her to be blindfolded like this for a decent portion of the film, offering the explanation that she was "afraid of the dark," and that he wanted to see her in as much pain and fear as humanly possible. The hood had served its purpose for the day, but now, Robert wanted the poor girl to see each and every way he was going to be violating her body in real time. In one swift motion, he reached up and pulled the pocket of fabric away, exposing her stunning tear-stained face. "Hi sweetheart," he greeted viciously. Just as he was hoping, her cries worsened as she saw the dreaded tool in his hands. He had a certain liking for holding up the devices he was preparing to use to see his victim's reactions; after all, he got off on fear and dread just as much as his clients did.
"Time to open up this pretty little cunt and see what kind of damage we did," the man enthused as he forced the tip of the instrument into the girl's drenched opening. By now, she had been well stretched out and ruined by her captor's horrific methods. Grappling with his usual lack of restraint and self-control, Robert had barely made the drive back with the girl tied up in his trunk without pulling over and popping that perfect little cherry on his own time, without a single camera properly rolling.
Turning the speculum as it was fully inserted, the man took great pleasure in squeezing the handle to force the tool open, each tiny click that sounded only stretching the poor thing's aching walls out to a further, more painful degree. "There," he sighed in satisfaction as the last notch was reached. Pulling his hands away, he gave himself and the camera a few seconds to enjoy the view of the girl's milky insides, so worn and sore from the days of torture she'd endured.
"Alright. One more," he finally hummed, using his gloved fingers to collect some of the plentiful slick dripping from the speculum before dragging them up to find that adorable little button he loved bullying so much. Her fading sobs were revived in an instant, her throat growing hoarse from all the screaming she'd done. But as much as she cried, Robert was determined to get one final orgasm from her before putting her back under for the day. After spending so much time making that pretty pussy as puffy and sensitive as possible, he deserved to see it coming all stretched out painfully over his instrument of choice.
#eun's writing#devils roll the dice#kinkmas 2023#robert pronge#robert pronge fanfiction#robert pronge smut#mr freezy#mr freezy fanfiction#mr freezy smut#dark!robert pronge#dark!mr freezy#robert pronge x reader#robert pronge x y/n#robert pronge x you#robert pronge imagine#robert pronge one shot#robert pronge blurb#robert pronge drabble#robert pronge headcanon#the iceman#the iceman fanfiction#chrise evans#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans smut
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To Kiss is to Hunger
pairing: Joshua Rosfield x Fem!Reader rating: Mature word count: 5.0K summary: You are terrified to kiss Joshua. Joshua has an idea to remedy that.
warnings: practice kissing, grinding, touching, intimacy, mutual pining, insecurities and self-doubt, just straight up romance
Author’s Notes: Ngl I know I said it would be a little frisky, but just so happens I made it just a little bit friskier because Joshua is just a touch starved man. Just a heads up, please read my pinned post before following me! Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked as this blog’s content is NSFW.
[AO3 link]
You couldn’t fathom why you are in the Shelves this late into the night. ‘It’s silly.” You think, walking around, trying to find anything to help you with your little dilemma. You tried to put your brain to rest, to calm its ravenous thoughts of anxiety, but the efforts were futile. And it is all because a teasing strawberry blond tried to kiss you.
You and the young Lord got quite close after his arrival to the Hideaway. You help out as a barmaid for Molly in the Ale House, and the first night of Joshua being out of the infirmary after the fall of Drake’s Tail had been all the talk. You would overhear conversations about how charming he was, how he was very knowledgeable about the lands of Valisthea, and how he is the brother of the leader of the Hideaway. He piqued your curiosity, as most newcomers do, but you didn’t think anything to come of it.
There was one night, however, where service wasn’t off its rig, and you had decided to take that time to practice your reading. Reading and writing are forbidden practices for Branded, and you were only able to learn reading due to old, scribbled writings thrown into the trash bins. You would rummage through for every written scrap in the dead of night and return it before your enslavers came to. To you, it was a piece to the puzzle of your freedom. But only a piece.
You were reading an old children’s fairytale: a prince in search of the long-lost princess who searched day and night to find her. You were immersed, so much so you hadn’t noticed the presence in front of you, seemingly still but present all the same.
“Ah, I read that story many times as a child. A true classic.”
Your head had snapped so far back you thought you would’ve fallen backwards. Your eyes jumped until they landed on the man before you, and you remember how wonderstruck you felt. He was the most beautiful man you had ever seen, and the way he was looking at you had your stomach producing butterflies. You felt a sense of embarrassment, however, as the book you were reading was adapted for children. You knew those born with a silver spoon were highly educated, so to have someone as handsome and surely intelligent as he watching you read made you nervous to be a laughing stock.
“Yeah, but it’s more of a watered down version of it. I’m sure I’ll get to read the original someday.” You had awkwardly explained, waiting for him to make a joke of your lack of ability to read at a level that matched your maturity. That joke, however, never came. He stayed and asked you questions, such as who your favorite character was, what your favorite part of the story was, and so on. That conversation led beyond the book, and it is a fond memory of the golden boy.
It wasn’t long after that he offered to tutor you and made an extraordinary effort to give you books about topics you liked. Hell, he would even bring books back from long expeditions that him, Clive, and Jill would go on. “I found this story about sea fairies that I thought you would like.” “I saw a merchant selling a copy of this book I think you’ll enjoy.” “This book made me think of you.”
After many nights and days passing, it had become apparent that your heart had let him in, and you were relieved to know that his heart blazed for you also. However, unlike you, he is very evident about how he shows his feelings for you. He initiated the first hand holding, the first embrace, every tender moment you both have shared has been started by him. It makes you nervous, he makes you nervous, but in a conflicting way because you want everything he has to offer, yet your life of being treated less than for so long has put in the fear of not being enough. You fear you will misstep, embarrass yourself, he will realize he can have someone better, and let you down gently. He is a gentleman, after all.
All of the insecurities and doubts you hold have led you to the shelves due to this past evening's events.
-
A gathering of many members of the Hideaway was taking place, enjoying each other’s company, exchanging stories from the road, and eating and drinking so good that spirits were at an all time high. About halfway through the evening, Joshua and Clive had returned from their mission that had kept them away for well over a week, and joined everyone in the festivities. You could feel Joshua’s eyes on you constantly as you worked, soft gazes in your direction as you brought over more ale. You hadn’t seen each other since he had left, and you could see from the look in his eyes that he wanted you close, longing for your time.
And you weren’t the only one to sense it.
“Go on.” You heard Molly speak as you polished the cups.
“Hmmm?” You turned to see her smirking at you, nudging her head in the direction of the young Rosfield.
“You are free of your duties. You spend some time with everyone, especially you know who.”
You shook your head, your cheeks flushed. “I appreciate it, but Molly there is a lot to clean up. I can’t ask you to do this all by yourself.”
“Nonsense.” She scoffed, walking to you, taking the scrub and cup out of your hands, only to set them aside to grab your own. “We all deserve a little down time. Please, I insist.”
You hesitated, and her eyes softened. “In these troubling times, every moment counts; for anything can happen at any time. We must be selfish with our time.”
That alone had set you into motion. You had walked over to sit beside him, hip to hip, his arm draped around your side with his head leaning slightly against your own as Clive shared his and his brother’s adventures.
You could tell Joshua was more touchy than normal, not that you minded. You would feel him squeeze you from time to time. If you shifted slightly, he would adjust so you were still close to him. You would feel him turn his head to bury his face into your hair, gentle caresses of his lips against your scalp. No words were spoken between the two of you, just enjoying the night together with everyone. But even nights like these had to end.
You called it a night, telling everyone that you were going to head to the bed chambers, but not before Joshua insisted on walking you there. The two of you had bid goodnight to the others, and with your hand in Joshua’s grasp, the two of you walked to the bed chambers, small talk between the two of you as you both headed there slowly.
“I can’t believe you let Clive do that.” You giggled, Joshua’s story about his older brother shoving a carrot into his mouth to make him sick.
“He had reason, for we were in an unfortunate situation. We needed a reason to slip away.” Joshua grimaced, vaguely remembering the taste of the raw carrot. “Besides, I have always had a soft spot for my brother. I’d do anything for him.”
“I know having him back in your life has been a gift.” You smiled, waving his arm back and forth as you both approached the bed chambers. He pulled your arm back gently, causing you to turn into his arms. The way he was looking at you left you speechless; a thousand words being spoken through one look.
“Why yes, it has truly been a gift by the Founder to be reunited with my brother.” He brings your hand up to his chest, right above his heart; the thumping gingerly warming up your palm. “It has also been a gift to have the honor of being allowed your time, my lady.”
You shook your head, but before you could’ve said anything, Joshua had spoken once more. “On the topic of gifts, I have something for you.”
He slipped his free hand into the large pouch of his belt and pulled out what you can see is a book. He placed the book in both of your hands, grazing them before allowing you to inspect it. You recognized the artistry of the book: hardbound leather, intricate gold lining, and a sturdy weight in your hand. You looked at the title and you found yourself releasing a shaky breath.
“I thought you said there were no more copies.” You whispered, in disbelief as to what you were seeing. Enchanting thy Fair Maiden. It was a copy of a book Joshua has praised over. He would recite lines to you from what he memorized as a child, and you would ask him to retell them to you over and over again, never tiring from hearing his smooth voice telling you a tale.
“It took some bartering, but it was worth it if it means I could grant you a copy.”
Snapping from your mind, you looked to him, shaking your head in disbelief. “Joshua, I can’t accept this. This is one of your favorite stories. You should keep it.”
You tried pushing the book back into Joshua’s, but not before him grasping both of your hands and gently pushing it back into your vicinity. “My lady.” He begged. “I can reassure you that nothing would please me more than you accepting this gift.”
You stayed silent for a moment, a brief pause in the timeline aside from you and him, before smiling shyly, looking away from him in a flush. “I will cherish this for all days, Joshua. Maybe you can read it to me properly sometime.”
“Anything for you, dearest.”
Your gaze stayed down, not knowing how to bid farewell for the night, before you felt Joshua’s hand lightly touch your cheek, lifting your face for him to look upon. You sensed a certain hesitancy, his eyes seeking for something on your face before landing back on your own.
“May I try something?”
Everything started to go slow and fast at the same time, your mind racing and hyper focusing on every detail. You focused on how much closer Joshua had gotten to you, how his body heat had your body melting tenfold, how his face leaned down to yours, his hand stroking your cheek. You realized what he was asking to do: he was asking to kiss you.
Sudden flashes of self-doubt came crashing down onto you, Joshua’s hand on your branded cheek making you feel self-conscious. What is he doing? How can he want to kiss me? Oh, Greagor be with me, I have never kissed anyone. I am going to make a fool of myself!
Out of reflex and fear, you stepped back and away from Joshua’s reach. He looked startled, not expecting your reaction, and all you could do was stare at him as you calmed your heart down. You felt embarrassment shudder down your spine, but you knew that it would have been worse if you had attempted to kiss him.
You tried to shrug it off, chuckling awkwardly as if that would erase the last few seconds of shame you felt. “It is late. I’m afraid I must turn in. Goodnight, Joshua.”
You flung the chamber door open and closed it just as fast without a glance in Joshua’s direction, your back hitting the wood as you worked your anxieties down.
Now you’ve really done it stupid stupid STUPID!
-
So here you are, looking for a kissing manual that doesn’t exist.
“I can’t believe it has come to this.” You moan, shaking your head at how pathetic you currently feel. You want to kiss him; of course you want to kiss him! But the thought of kissing him and making a complete fool out of yourself has strung itself high in your head. You will do anything to ease your anxieties, and if finding literature that will help you is the way, then so be it.
You keep searching the shelves, and finally you see something that catches your attention. You see a book with a deep red spine, and immediately you become curious. Red means romance which maybe means kissing, right? you think and go to reach for it, your tippy toes giving you an extra inch that helps you grab the old spine of the book. Once the book is grasped, you give it a once over and what you see is nothing at all. The book has no title, no author, no nothing. Just hardbound leather that looks as if it had been dyed with blood.
You move to sit at a table, the kissing debacle hiding in the back of your skull as a new curiosity peeks. You stare at the book intently, like it was going to open up for you to tell you all of its secrets. A book with no visible identity, no mark.
The curiosity killed the cat as you finally flipped it open, the crackle of the pages singing, showing its age. The first few pages are barren with no offering until you reach the first official page. You read, smiling because you can read everything on the page in comprehension, but also because it’s a love poem. You never have had the chance to read poetry thus far, so this was a treat for you. Just the thing I need to ease my mind.
You continue reading the poems, most being about love, companionship, and things in the realm of romance. As you read them, you picture Joshua and yourself, like the two of you were living in the reality of this book full of lovely prose. In a way, it makes you recognize that maybe what Joshua sees in you is what you are imagining right now: a lover, a partner for life. You feel a sense of confidence swell in you, so you read on, addicted to the words written out.
Until you get to the next page.
What you read next halts your breathing, slowing it down to stop fire from growing in your chest. This poem is about the same things previously stated, love, romance, companionship, but in a much more intimate form. The words strung together formed the most erotic sentences, words of longing for the senses. They make you blush hotly; they make you antsy in your chair while locked in, but most especially they make your mind run wild with fantasies of you and him.
Oh, you and him.
You mind wanders as you read, zoning out into a reality where you exude the confidence to give into Joshua’s desires and more. The words dig into your skin, warming you up that your thin nightgown felt like plenty of layers on this cool night. You are so immersed that you don’t hear the large doors open, and the calling of your name feels like a figment of your imagination. It’s not until you feel the warmth on your shoulders that you are brought back, feeling like a bucket of cold water has been dropped over your head from the cold sweat.
You slam the book shut, turning so quickly that the room starts to spin before the warmth on your shoulders grows firm, steadying you in your seat. You look to see Joshua staring at you, worry showing on his face seemingly from your reaction. “I deeply apologize, my lady. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
You breathe a chuckle, seeing him here at a time like this would be your luck. You cross your arms, becoming extremely aware of your lack of clothing under his gaze. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask the same of you.” He retorts and pulls out a chair to sit facing you. “Truthfully, I couldn’t sleep much. I came here to see if doing more research would tire me, but it seems fate has chosen a more direct route to my restlessness.”
You see why he can’t sleep, and sigh because this is from your doing. “Joshua, you have nothing to fret over. You did nothing wrong.”
“But I’m afraid you are wrong, my lady. I shouldn’t have been so forward, and to know I put you in an uncomfortable position upsets me greatly. I would never dream of making you uneasy, and for my mishaps I must apologize to you. I cannot bear the thought of you keeping your distance because of my foolishness.”
You watch him as he apologizes for his directness, which internally makes you laugh because that isn’t the issue. You love his directness, just as he is being direct with you right now. It’s you. It’s your cowardice for wanting something more and not having the courage to pursue because of the what ifs, the buts, the howevers. It’s your fear of rejection because of your lived experiences. It’s you, not him.
“Joshua.” You state, moving to grab his hands within your own. “You did nothing wrong.”
“My lady, please I-”
“Shhh,” you hush. “Let me speak.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, and I apologize for making you feel you need to.” You exhale, preparing to open yourself up for display. “It’s all me. I’m inexperienced, and I’ve been viewed as nothing for so long that I’m fearful that one misstep will set you away; that you can have someone who knows what they are doing and have the confidence to show for it.”
“Is that really what this is about?” Joshua asks.
You nod, looking down at the two of your intertwined hands. You see Joshua’s hands pull away from yours and your breath shakes. This is it. He is going to leave. That’s until you feel the heat that only the Phoenix could exude on your cheeks, your head being brought up to see him smiling. “My dearest,” Joshua whispers, as if talking any louder would damn him. “You are my everything, for you have captured me: mind, body, and soul. Also, your inexperience mirrors mine, I can assure you.”
Your eyes widen. “There is no way that can be true. You are a Lord.”
He’s laughing now, shaking his head as his hands go back to you, grasping them with care. “I was only a child then. Besides, the Undying were very protective of me under their care. There was no time nor place for such things. Even then, the only person that was always allowed in my vicinity was Jote, and we have never viewed each other romantically.”
“So, there really has been no one?” You whisper, your mind stuck between disbelief and credence.
“No. Not until now.” He squeezes your hands. “My heart belongs to you, and you alone. There is no one else I’d rather give myself to.”
You shiver, the idea of experiencing forms of intimacy together for the first time spreads a raging fire in your stomach. “You sure have a way with words, Joshua Rosfield.”
“You can thank all of the romance novels I read in my youth.” He chuckles. “Speaking of books, what were you reading?”
“What?” You ask, forgetting about the erotica sitting inches away from you.
“The book you were reading. I don’t believe I have read that one yet. May I take a look?”
You are panicking, knowing the contents of the book and who is asking to take a peek. You go to grab it, reacting as fast as you could, but alas you reacted too late. Joshua now has the book, opening the page you had left off on, and starts to read. You see his eyes go wide, his pupils dilating, his fingers fidgeting against the page he is holding. You freak out, going to reach for the book before he reads further. “Okay Joshua, that’s enough.” A smile creeps up slowly on his face, humming as he moves to stand up before your fingertips touch the book, backing away slowly as he continues. You stand up, walking up to him to get that god forsaken book away from him.
“Oh Joshua, please give me back the book!” You panic.
“By the Founder, what possessed you to read this smut?” Joshua smirks, seamlessly avoiding your grabby hands as he reads the pages. “Especially in the middle of the night?”
He wasn’t meant to see this! He wasn’t meant to see you reading the abhorrent words you were consuming. He wasn’t meant to see you like this in your flimsy gown. Damn me! Why did I not cover up more?!
“To taste the lips is to be fulfilled, for the instinct of man is to claim, conquer, and revel in the midst of her flesh. To kiss is to hunger, to feast among the softest of petals that call to him, beckoning for his return to get both of their fills.”
You are internally screaming now. You can’t believe he is tormenting you like this. You are still reaching for the book, desperate for this nightmare to end, before you hear an “oomph” as Joshua’s back collides into one of the shelves. You snatch the book from him, running back to put it back where it came from. “Okay, enough please!”
“Forgive me.” Joshua says, although it is said with a devilish grin. “I just didn’t know you had such… exquisite taste.”
“I didn’t even know what was in the book when I pulled it.” You say defensively, hands waving manically in front of you like they would make you more convincing. “I was just trying to find something that would help give me the courage.”
As if that isn’t as embarrassing, or even more so.
“What if we do something that helps us both gain courage? A practice session if you will.” Joshua says from the other side of the room, keeping his distance to see what tone you will take.
“What do you have in mind?” You draw out nervously, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation.
Joshua walks back over to where you both had sat, moving the chair so it was facing you before sitting down. He rubs his thighs a little as if he needed to warm them up, before patting his lap. “Come take a seat.”
Instinct has you taking a step forward before a hitch finds itself in your feet, stopping them all together.
“Do you trust me?” He asks sincerely.
“Of course, I do.” You quickly blurt out, as if answering a second later would draw doubt.
He smiles, his hand reaching out to invite you over. “Then please, my dearest, come to me.”
You take a deep breath and walk over till you stand before him. You grasp his hand, tingles running up your arm as he pulls you to him and guides you onto his lap. Your hands move to steady yourself on his shoulders, while he places his hands on your lower back to support you. Your legs dangle on either side of the chair, your gown riding up your thighs which you are all too aware of. However, you note that Joshua is only looking at you, gauging to see where your head is. “Is this okay, my lady?”
“Mhmm.” You hum, trying to calm your rapid heart. This is so intimate, too intimate, but you want it. You want him. You want to create every kind of intimacy with him, and this is a start. You knew that it is time to take that leap, especially since he will take that leap with you.
“Joshua,” you murmur, eyes still on his. “Will you kiss me?”
“As you wish, my love.”
You close your eyes, leaning in slightly to show that you aren’t backing out. You feel one of Joshua’s hands move to your left cheek, your branded cheek, tracing it with his thumb gently. Soon you feel him move forward, his forehead sitting against yours, his breath hitting your lips in puffs. The anticipation was killing you, your hands squeezing his shoulders to urge him on, and before you know it his lips are against your own. The kiss is light, a sweet peck before pulling away slightly, only to go back to give one more. You both are testing the waters, giving into each other slowly until the two of you start to grow peckish.
The kiss is gradual, pecks graduating to long lip locks and more movement. Your hands have found homage in Joshua’s hair, gripping not too hard but enough to show him how much you are enjoying him. His hands found their way to the crease of your hips, gripping the flesh to keep you in place. You can feel yourself growing restless, needing more of him within your senses.
It’s like he can read your mind as his hands bring your body closer. A gasp leaves your lips as his groin settles against your heat, leaving your head spinning. His kisses become feverish, his hands roaming up and down your thighs, your nightgown receding higher in the process. You sense satiability is nowhere in sight, the movements of his body proving to you that the absence of intimate touch has turned him into a depraved man. Because even though Joshua Rosfield is a gentleman with a heart of selflessness, he is still a man with selfish desires and needs.
Your hands go back to grip at his shoulders, trying to calm yourself from his ministrations. A wetness hits your lips, and your mouth opens willingly, needing to taste him further. Your tongues melt together, creating a unique taste between the two of you that’s so addicting you don’t know how either of you will stop. You lean more into him, your hands going back to his hair to control his movements, causing him to groan in the most sinful way. You pull away, giggling knowing you got him to make such pretty sounds. The confidence from it goes straight to your head, going right back in for his lips to have him make more delicious sounds.
A deep feral groan is released from Joshua’s throat, causing him to pull away in heavy breaths. He looks at you with hazy eyes, smiling deliriously. “You will be the death of me, my love.”
Your hands are now trailing from his hair to his chest, your hands running up and down the fabric of his tunic, feeling the toned body beneath it all. Your head leans back against his forehead, both of your breaths heavy on each other’s lips. “Then shall death keep us together, never parted.”
Joshua leans up back to your lips, kissing you hungrily, your declaration causing him to hunger for more. You still had the high ground, you being on top giving you more opportunity to take the lead. You knew this could be too soon, a little risky, but your sureness that Joshua feels the same hunger as you do is enough to convince you. You start to grind down slowly on top of him, your undergarments and his matching tunic pants the only barriers.
“Fuck,” Joshua draws out breathless, his arms coming up to wrap around you to ground himself.
“Does that feel good, my Lord?” You smile, feeling over the moon that you are making him act this way.
“You have no idea.” Joshua gasps. “You have turned me into a new man.”
You giggle as you continue your movements. “Is that so?”
“By the Founder, yes!” He groans loudly at a particular movement of your hips. “How about I show you.”
Suddenly you are being lifted up, your butt settled onto a hard surface, legs spread apart by Joshua’s hips, and warm lips ravishing your own. Your nightgown is definitely way past your legs now, bunched up at your hips with Joshua’s hands right under the fabric. This new side of Joshua has you addicted, the push and pull the both of you are playing at exciting you more. You release his lips and lean up to his neck, nipping at the skin at the juncture of his neck and jaw. His breath hitches, leaning into you as you nip and kiss his neck. It’s as if he is hypnotized by your love bites, casting a spell on him. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer to you, but in an instant everything stops.
You open your eyes to see Joshua breathing hard, his hands gripping the table. Your hands go to his face, worry etching into your brain. “Darling, did I do something wrong?”
Joshua laughs, his eyes opening to look right back at you. “Absolutely not.” His hands go to yours on his face, holding onto each one as he brings them down. “I just don’t want to accomplish everything in one night, especially here in the Shelves.”
He pulls you up to your feet, your hands still in his as he looks at you with the brightest smile on his face. “I want to have time to savor you when the time is right.”
Even after all of that, he is still ever the gentleman.
“I agree. I’m sorry if I went too far.” You chuckle, a tinge of embarrassment in your tone.
Joshua embraces you, his head tucked into your neck. “You have nothing to apologize for. I hope you don’t think I had ulterior motives.”
“Never,” you say quickly, squeezing him to you.
“We should head back to our respective beds before people notice we’ve disappeared.” Joshua hums.
You hum in agreement and pull back, so you are now under Joshua’s arm. Both of you head out the doors of the Shelves into the cool night air. You shiver, and Joshua brings you in closer to shield you from the cold. He walks you back to the bed chambers, and before he departs, he places a light kiss on your lips, causing your eyes to flutter close at the bliss you feel in the moment.
“Goodnight, my dearest. I shall see you in the morning.” Joshua says after he pulls away.
“Goodnight, Joshua. But before you go, may I request something?”
“Anything for you, my dearest.”
“Can we practice some more later? You are my tutor after all.” And my lover, my partner for life.
Joshua beams at you. “I would love nothing more.”
#joshua rosfield x reader#joshua rosfield fluff#joshua rosfield smut#ffxvi x reader#ffxvi#joshua rosfield#joshua x reader#my fics#final fantasy xvi
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Something New (m)
Pairing: Cho Seungyoun x fem!reader
Summary: Sometimes your boyfriend asking you blunt questions pays off for you in the end.
Word Count: 3.3k
Tags/Warnings: mature content (minors dni), pwfwp (porn with feelings without plot), oral sex (fem. receiving), established relationship, they are simps for each other, inexperienced!reader
Author’s Note: if you’ve been around on this blog at all, you’ll know this isn’t the typical sort of thing I post. I have no excuse other than the man makes me absolutely insane and I decided to be self-indulgent. Please read at your own risk.
“Have you ever thought about letting me eat you out?”
You cough, nearly choking on your own tongue, and drop your phone against your boyfriend’s chest.
You lift your head from Seungyoun’s shoulder and look at him, incredulous. “What?”
Seungyoun glances at you, shooting you a brief little smile before continuing to scroll his phone.
“Letting me go down on you,” he clarifies, confirming you had somehow, in fact, heard him right after all.
You blink several times, brain mysteriously empty.
“I…uh,” you finally stammer.
You’ve been with Seungyoun long enough to know that he likes to be blunt and face things head-on, no beating around the bush. It does catch you by surprise, though, anytime it’s about something intimate.
The plain look on his face is indication enough that this question is par for the course with him. “Didn’t know if it was on the list of stuff you were interested in trying.”
He’s known since before you started seeing each other that you’re inexperienced, never having any real interest in sex until you met him. He’s taken this very well, been exceedingly patient and a perfect sweetheart with you. He always cheerfully answers your shy questions in a way that doesn’t embarrass you for being curious, and loves going along with your hesitant experimentation whenever you like.
You haven’t experimented far beyond heavy makeout sessions, beyond dry humping and hands under shirts, but where your timidity has stopped you in real life, your imagination has run rampant. So in all honesty, you have thought about Seungyoun eating you out. You’ve had no courage whatsoever to say anything about it, but the thought of his mouth on you has come to mind more and more often lately. Little daydreams of your hands in his hair, your thighs clamped around his head, of an unfamiliar pleasure that might possibly be better than your own fingers or shower head.
The way he’s smiling at you makes you pretty sure he knows what you’ve been thinking from your facial expressions.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you mumble, halfheartedly thumping your hand against his chest.
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Seungyoun laughs. “I’m the one who asked.”
“Why did you?” You ask, watching him closely.
He shrugs a shoulder, turning his smile back to his phone. “Because I’ve been thinking about it.”
Oh. Something funny quivers in your stomach, heat like lava pooling low. He’s been thinking about it, too. Been thinking about spreading your legs and lowering his head to—
“You—I…” You try to start a thought several times, then realize you have none.
His smile only widens. He keeps scrolling his phone, looking cool as a cucumber, which isn’t fair.
“You have?” You finally finish weakly.
He looks up from his phone to meet your gaze.
“I have,” he says.
Your brain doesn’t know what to do with this information. “You….but….”
He tilts his head slightly. “But?”
“Why—” You cut off, squirming a little. “I…why would you be thinking about it?”
“Because I want to do it?” He sounds amused and puzzled.
“I—but, like. Why would…?” You ask, looking anywhere but at him.
“Ah,” he murmurs, realization in his voice. When you look back up at him, his eyes are sparkling, gaze too fond for what comes out of his mouth.
“You make the cutest little noises when you're getting yourself off in my lap. I need to be the reason you make them, on purpose this time.”
A bolt of pure lust hits you right in the stomach, air stalling in your lungs. You shiver, toes curling.
“Ah,” you croak.
The corners of his eyes are crinkling. You look away from him, trying to remember to breathe evenly. “And that’s….good, for you?”
He snorts. “Oh, yes. A lot. Very much.”
“…I see,” you say.
He grins, his gaze landing on your mouth. “Hm? You like that?”
You swallow hard, trying to ignore the liquid heat simmering low in your belly. “A…a little.”
His gaze only makes you hotter. “Yeah? A little?”
“Okay, maybe a lot,” you say, voice raspier than usual.
“Hm.” He studies your face for a long moment, smile rather pleased. Then he winks at you and goes back to his phone. “Good.”
You blink at him in disbelief for a long moment.
“That’s…that’s all?” You ask.
He glances at you. “All?”
“I—you were just…” you flounder for a moment. “Just…asking?”
He shrugs a shoulder. “Yeah. Just asking. Good to know.”
“…Oh,” you say.
He glances at you, eyebrows raising in curiosity at your tone. Then he smiles, looking so mischievous that your face burns.
“Did you want it to be something else?” He asks, and his voice is low and silky, brushing smooth like a caress.
Well, you had. Being found out makes you ten shades of embarrassed. You suppose you weren’t exactly subtle, though.
“You are the worst,” you grumble.
Seungyoun grins, plucking your phone from your hand and setting it aside with his and gathering you close to him, until you’re curled up nose-to-nose.
“I am,” he murmurs, gleeful. He looks down at your mouth. “So you’re interested in trying it?”
You swallow hard, settling your hands on his chest. “I…I mean, yes, but…”
The little trails of warmth his fingertips are drawing along the side of your neck are distracting, as is the molten warmth of his eyes.
“But?” He prompts, patient and soft.
Your voice won’t rise above a whisper. “But maybe we, uh….work our way up to it, like. It’s just…”
The thought of diving right in immediately, no matter how interested you are in it, sets little panic bells off in your head.
“…Scary, if we just…go for it,” you breathe, face burning.
His smirk softens into a sweet smile. He nuzzles his nose against yours reassuringly.
“‘Course, love. Defeats the purpose if you’re scared,” he says, and you know by his tone he really means it.
You let out a soft little sigh, more relieved than you realized. He’s always so good about taking things at your pace; it’s wonderful.
Seungyoun gazes at your mouth, lifting a hand and running his thumb along your lower lip. “What if I showed you here what it would be like first? And we can stop there if you want.”
Oh. You glance down at his lips as he talks, mind racing. He wants to give your mouth head. That’s…hmmm. If it was possible to be any more turned on, you would be. You swallow thickly, curling your fingers into his shirt.
“Okay,” you whisper.
He looks back up into your eyes, as though gauging your confirmation. “Yeah?”
“Uh-huh,” you say, nodding a little.
He studies you for another second, then nods once, gazing back down at your mouth. “Is now a good time?”
“Well, let me check my schedule,” you deadpan, and he laughs.
The smile lingers on his lips as he leans in even closer, thumb teasing your lower lip until your mouth parts slightly.
Your hands grip tighter in his shirt when he brushes his mouth over yours, feather-light. A faint kiss at the corner of your mouth, the soft graze of his lips to the other corner, another light kiss. Careful, gentle kisses pecked across your mouth, then the fleeting drag of his tongue on your lower lip.
You gasp against his mouth at the feeling, and he leans in closer, kissing you properly. Each kiss is a long, slow draw, the pressure of his mouth firmer and firmer.
A little noise escapes the back of your throat when his tongue delves carefully into your mouth and back out. He hums, quiet and appreciative. His hands glide from your jaw into your hair as he kisses you, cupping the base of your skull, the nape of your neck, keeping you in place.
He tilts his head slightly and latches his mouth over your upper lip. A shiver wracks through you as his tongue draws along it, tracing your Cupid’s bow with the tip of his tongue before flicking over it gently, back and forth, then in tight circles. Your whole body flushes with blistering heat at the implication, a whimper lodging in your throat. You try to muffle the noise by closing your mouth over his lower lip, pulling on it with awkward suction.
A low groan resonates in his chest. He seals his mouth over yours again, licking hungrily into you. It’s a little different than when he’s used his tongue before. More curious, exploratory. Slow, purposeful strokes of his tongue deep into your mouth, in and out.
It occurs to you in an instant what he’s simulating. Your insides liquefy into boiling honey, raw want clawing through you as you moan shakily into his mouth. You lift your hands to his head, weaving your fingers into his hair and holding on for dear life. He moans at the pressure, tongue stroking along yours deliberately slowly, making you shiver.
He continues at a leisurely pace, pausing to nip and suck playfully at one lip or the other, until you lose all track of time, your mind hazy with need. If it’s anything like this, anything at all, then you want it ten thousand times more now. When he thrusts his tongue into you again, you suck at it shyly, and something like a growl vibrates in his chest. He pulls you even closer, grinding his mouth over yours, tongue probing deeper with each thrust, drawing little moans from you.
When he finally wrenches his mouth from yours, you’re both panting. You gaze at him, chest heaving.
Seungyoun looks ravenous with want. Eyes dark, locked in on you, like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. His lips are swollen from going to work on you.
“So can I try that sometime?” He asks, hoarse.
You want him to try it now. Something. Anything. You’re aching, dazed half-stupid by the kiss and what it implied. To your mortification, only a whimper leaves your throat when you try to respond.
He seems to understand, because his hands go to your hips and yank you closer, knee nudging between yours, giving you the pressure of his leg against where you ache. You sob in relief, and he swallows the sound, crushing his mouth over yours and kissing you like he won’t get the chance again.
You kiss him back desperately, moaning into his mouth when his hand tightens on your hip and drags you hard along his thigh. After so long with nothing, the sensation is exquisite. You copy the movement without assistance, and you feel the rock-solid evidence that he’s affected too against your hip.
His tongue dragging against yours reminds you why you’re this worked up in the first place.
“Please, Seungyoun, just—” you whimper against his lips. “Your mouth, I…please—”
Seungyoun immediately rolls you onto your back, kissing an urgent path down your body, his mouth hot on you even through the fabric of your shirt.
His fingers curl in the waistband of your sweatpants, backs of his knuckles brushing against your skin. He looks up at you.
“Sure?” He asks.
You nod vigorously, panting.
A couple of rushed yanks, and your sweatpants are at your ankles. You kick them off as Seungyoun braces his hands on your knees, fingers inching towards your inner thighs. He looks at you questioningly.
“Still good?”
You squirm, impatient. “Yes, just—”
He parts your legs, guiding you to rest a knee over his shoulder. He turns his head and presses a kiss just above your knee, sending a bolt like white-hot electricity over your skin.
He trails searing kisses up your thigh while his hand coasts up the other, making your hips jolt when the tip of his thumb grazes over the seat of your underwear. You whine when he draws the pad of his thumb up and down, a firm pressure on the dampening fabric.
He looks up at you, the hot drift of his mouth on your leg intoxicating as he plays with you. He pinches some of the fabric between his thumb and forefinger, pulling lightly.
“Off?”
You groan, wriggling your hips. “I swear, stop asking and just do it, or—”
You squeak and jerk in surprise when Seungyoun bites at your inner thigh, a little flash of pleasurable pain.
“Don’t be a brat,” he murmurs against your skin.
You swallow hard, muscles suddenly weak as jelly. “…Fine. Yes, off.”
He eases your leg from his shoulder and sits up to remove your underwear. A sudden wave of nerves hits you unbidden as the fabric slips down over your knees. You’ve never been exposed like this to anyone before. Your legs snap shut of their own accord, tucking your knees closer to you as you purse your lips, feeling timid and ashamed.
Seungyoun immediately senses the shift. “Do we need to stop?”
Panic that this could be where it ends bubbles up in you. You immediately shake your head. “No. No, I-I just…”
You wet your lips. “I’m the only one taking clothes off.”
Understanding dawns in his face, and then he gives you a Look.
“Is this your way of asking to see my tattoos?”
You blink at him innocently, shaking your head. “It’s not.”
He raises an eyebrow.
You nibble your lip. “It’s…mostly not.”
He grins, grabbing the scruff of his shirt and yanking it over his head.
You’ll never understand how you attracted someone as gorgeous as him. You bite your lip harder, admiring the contours of his muscles, the contrast of ink on his skin. The barrel of the gun tattoo disappearing into his waistband sends an acute wave of lust through you. A noise embarrassingly like a purr hums in the back of your throat before you can stop it.
He dips back down and kisses low on your stomach where your shirt has ridden up. You can feel the smile he’s hiding against your skin.
“Don’t make fun of me,” you groan.
“I’m not,” he mumbles into your skin, the scrape of his teeth dragging gently at your hip. “You’re just cute.”
You grumble a little as Seungyoun slowly eases your legs back open, kissing along your thigh.
“So fucking cute,” he whispers when you shiver at the sensation.
Your mouth is dry, every nerve in your body aching for more of his touch.
“Please,” you whisper.
There’s a burning hunger in Seungyoun’s eyes when he looks at you, lips dragging softly up your leg.
“Want my mouth on you, love?”
You whine, nodding.
His eyes are dark, glittering. “Show me where.”
“You know where,” you groan, exasperation mixing with your desperation.
A little smile crooks in the corner of his mouth. “Show me anyway?”
You scowl at him, but he merely grins and shrugs, continuing to press soft kisses into your inner thigh.
Oh, help, you’re really doing this. You take a slow, shaky breath, shutting your eyes, and move your hand between your legs. Embarrassment prickles over your skin as you part yourself with a couple of fingers.
A deep groan punches out of Seungyoun’s throat, vibrating against the crook between your leg and body. “Perfect, baby.”
And then he mouths over you slowly, a hand hooking beneath your knee, keeping you spread open. Your head drops back, mouth open in a silent moan, panting hard as he presses kisses into your aching skin.
Your hand falls away as his mouth slides up, soft and hot, to the cusp of your sex. “Oh.”
A noise rumbles in his chest, and the vibrations against your clit make you squeak. Your fingers sink into his hair, clutching desperately, as the flat of his tongue catches just beneath the throbbing spot.
Oh, my. His mouth on your mouth could never have prepared you for this. Nothing could have. Your whole body feels feverish, set aflame as his tongue drags in curious, erotic patterns over you. You look down at him in time to see his eyes rolling shut as he licks over you, his hips rocking hard into the mattress. Your stomach tightens in pleasure, the sight of him enjoying this so much affecting you. That ever-more-familiar ache grows, stoked higher and higher under the melting heat of his mouth.
His mouth slides down, tongue searching wetly, and finds the entrance into your body. You gasp out as he nuzzles into you, the velvet stroke of his tongue sinking inside.
“Oh,” you sob, fingers fisting in his hair. “Oh, please, that’s so—”
You cut off with a cry as the tip of his nose nudges against the underside of your clit. So many blissful sensations, all at once, and you feel that tension building towards a height you’ve never experienced before.
Helpless to stop, your hips rock you against his mouth. He coaxes your leg over his shoulder and slides his arm over your hips, brief glimpse of the frowning and smiling face tattoos on his wrist before he pins you back down. You whimper, pitch rising higher and higher as he continues tongue-fucking you like it’s all he’s ever wanted, his hips grinding hard in tandem with the rhythm of his mouth.
He’s moaning into you like he can’t help himself, and you squeal as his mouth slides back up and covers your clit, sucking. You feel your limbs trembling, fingers tightening in his hair, hear yourself babbling as the pleasure gathers to a pinpoint.
“Please don’t stop, don’t stop, so close, please don’t stop Seungyoun, pleasepleaseplease—”
Seungyoun groans, sucks a little harder, tongue twisting perfectly, and your vision goes white. Unfathomable euphoria bursts through you as the tension breaks in hard, pulsing waves, and you let them carry you. You feel your hips undulating in helpless shudders against his hold, hear yourself gasping breathless moans, before you collapse back into the mattress, boneless. Seungyoun’s mouth eases you from ecstasy to relaxation, hand easing from beneath your knee and rubbing your leg soothingly.
When you look down at him, he’s gazing up at you like you’re a miracle, lips swollen and glistening in you. A corner of your mouth pulls into a weary, fond smile. You stroke your fingers through his hair gently, combing out the mess you made of it.
He moves back up and gathers you to him, mouth covering yours softly. The tang of you is odd and unfamiliar to taste in his mouth, but you love how sincerely he kisses it into you.
“That,” he mumbles against your mouth, “might be the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
You lean back and burst into giggles. “To you?”
He nods, looking entirely like he means it, and you snort.
“I’ve never come like that before,” he says, the admission tingeing his ears pink.
You blink, eyes blowing wide in surprise. “I—you…?”
His whole face is on fire now. He buries his face against your shoulder, whining, “you were so cute, you sounded so hot, how was I supposed to help it?”
“Oh my god.” You can’t stop smiling, shocked. Well. There go your plans to ask about returning the favor. “…Simp.”
“Hey,” he laughs, and you chuckle.
He leans back, examining you more closely. “That was okay? No crossed lines or anything?”
You shake your head quickly. “No, no, that was….well, great.”
“Nothing bothered you? Need something else next time?”
“Oh my god,” you mutter, smiling in utter disbelief. “Next time.”
He raises an eyebrow, corner of his mouth curling. “Next time can be whenever you want. For example…”
“Wha—I—Seungyoun,” you gasp, bursting into surprised laughter as he dips his head and begins kissing down your body again.
You can feel the curve of his grin through your shirt, pressed right over your heart.
#woodz smut#seungyoun smut#cho seungyoun smut#woodz x reader#seungyoun x reader#cho seungyoun x reader#woodz fanfic#seungyoun fanfic#cho seungyoun fanfic#seungyoun#cho seungyoun#woodz#admin ellie#ellie writes#ellie's spice#listen...listen#the insane I am over this man….#unparalleled#positively enamored. obsessed. infatuated
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Just so you know, some of your anons are coming from a blog called @mal3vol3nt
I do not know if you’re aware, but she’s chronically obsessed with you and has also been sharing your ao3 on Twitter and inciting harassment there too, saying you’re “racist” and a “degenerate” and accusing you of writing underage. Her blog lately is mainly posts about you and it sounds very similar to some of your anons
I had to check this out for myself and...wow. All I can say is just...wow 🤣
No, I actually had no idea who this person was but from the looks of it she's been obsessed with me for months? I guess that explains the anons, I knew these people were mad, but apparently they've been over here steaming over my takes and are legitimately terrified of me. And I didn't even know them! Didn't realize I've been doing numbers on Twitter (or X whatever it is now) despite never having an account.
(The rest is below; please don't click if you do not wish to see insensitive discussions of rape or if you are not in the mood to read opinions so malformed they will melt your brain)
I guess I have another angry little troll who doesn't know what a captial letter is obsessed with me. Wish I could say it was the first time, but alas. A lot of particularly funny things here though.
> Advertising your terrible ragebait Twitter like anyone finds you important
Lmao.
> "write fanfiction of katara being raped so zuko can save her"
What a terrible misread of the point of that story, but then again, I don't expect much else from a terminally online crybaby who exclusively consumes media for children. If you can't handle adult discussions about adult topics, maybe don't read stories that are clearly marked 18+ and with far more extensive trigger warnings than any mainstream media will give you.
> "measuring the size of her breasts and hips"
Lmao. I said she is drawn differently in different scenes. That's it. You guys are another level of unhinged.
> "obviously fetishes and racism"
It's kind of creepy how they sexualize Zutara, while simultaneously accusing us of doing that. Why do you assume a fetish is the only reason behind someone liking a ship? Why would you say this about a group of people including many black, brown, and indigenous women? And minors? And if you want to get into the whole fetish thing, don't even get me started on the shit I've seen from the kataang fandom. Hint: when I say some of you have a "mommy fetish" I mean it in a very literal sense. Not to mention the whole kataang rape discord debacle.
> "sick fantasies about these minor characters"
I have never depicted a minor in a sexual situation. I make a point to explicitly avoid doing that, and all characters are depicted as adults. Your lack of media literacy isn't an argument. If you're going to criticize my writing, at least read it, which you clearly didn't. And if the content is too upsetting for you, you clearly lack the maturity to engage in these kinds of discussions.
Imagine treating ship discourse this seriously, actually unhinged. Who said that Ember Island Players is the real Katara? What? She talks a big number about coke-fueled rants, must have given it a try herself. How do you expect to be taken seriously when you never say anything of substance and screech "racism" or "colonizer" every other word but can't even articulate the significance of those terms? Honestly, at this point you sound like a right-winger who thinks saying "but I'm [identity] and I agree with [opinion]" is a golden ticket to winning every argument.
And look at this: apparently I deserved all the things she and her friends sent me? Actually I respect this take, at least she's honest about it unlike the people who cry and backpeddle when they get caught red-handed.
I'm actually cackling at this one. Genuinely laughing; my neighbors are probably concerned. It's like you took every single Bad Person Allegation and threw it into a blender. And to top it all off, apparently 24 is "pushing 30" now LMAO. And apparently I, a lesbian, could only possibly like Zutara because I think Zuko is hot. Not to mention the way they entirely miss the point of Zutara, but ATLA itself, by insisting that Zuko is a "violent imperialist" who is apparently unworthy of love by anyone who does not share his skin tone. Kind of ironic coming from the people crying that I'm a racist who doesn't understand the show. Next level clownery.
This is so funny. These people are absolutely terrified of me, no amount of unhinged anons will hide that. It's fine for men to tell me I deserve rape and death, that I'm a dirty pervert for daring to speak out about sexual trauma, and that women's sexual trauma is nothing but a fetish, but if I respond to that man telling him he should die for being so disrespectful and misogynistic to rape victims, I'm the monster? I stand by it. If you think what he said about rape and rape victims is acceptable, especially if you're a man, die! Hang from ropes, as I said.🥰
I guess I should be really scared though. This is clearly a very influential figure in the fandom who is renowned for her enlightened wisdom on the plight of fictional cartoon characters against evil imperialists like me (adult with job).
...oh wait. I was excited for a minute, I thought I was dealing with a celebrity. But even the "callouts" struggle to hit 20 notes :/
And to everyone sending me positivity during this time, thank you very much! But I wanted to show you this to assure you I'm doing just fine. People can act as weird as they want behind a gray face, but after seeing the kinds of whiny little brats they are in reality, it's pretty hard to take it seriously. "I got my plane ticket" my ass, that would require you to leave your decaying, trash-filled apartment.
#tw sa mention#anti kataang#zutara discourse#atla#avatar the last airbender#avatar fandom problems#ask#anon
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So I was cleaning up a few manga panels for my other blog, and darn it, I need to talk about my thoughts on two scenes in the Shimane Illuminati arc (specifically chapters 61 and 62) because Kato deserves all the applause for everything. This post will be for chapter 61 and I'll post 62 later.
TW/CW for character death, medical abuse, and mental health struggles. Content below the cut.
First, in chapter 61 we get this heart breaking page when Tamamo Kamiki dies.
To get into what I'm seeing with this panel, I need to give a brief (or I'll try and make it brief) overview of Tamamo. Tamamo gets introduced to us in chapter 52 and the first panel we get of her is her sobbing into the camera that everyone acts so cold towards her because she is sleeping with the head priest and not married to said high priest.
We are then told that she was an irresponsible and careless woman by Mike. We find out three really important things though.
Tamamo is judged by the people around her and gets a cold shoulder
Tamamo relies heavily on her daughter and the byakko to have the house run at all and has dreams of a fantastic family and house she has shown no ability to actually run.
Tamamo is in love with the (shitty) Chief Priest of Inari and that he isn't married to her.
We then find out:
That Tamamo and her entire line have always managed the terrifying and unruly Nine Tails by assimilating the god and becoming her, and that the town/shrine distrust her because of that, even though she does it to protect them. They ostracize her for the duty her family has and they judge the entire family because she had Soji's children.
Notice Soji isn't in the judged club and that Soji has never seen his daughters. He's never been to her house. It is always her going to him.
This theme of ostracization is something that pops up over and over and over again in Blue Exorcist. Almost all of the main characters had a childhood that was lonely and where they were rejected by their peers--almost always for things outside their direct control and almost always in someway connected to demons, even if they didn't know it, but I'll get to that more in a moment. Suffice to say, at this point we can see that Tamamo is isolated outside of her illicit meetings with Soji (not at all healthy as we'll see later on) her interactions with the demons around her, and her daughters, neither of which are old or mature enough to offer her the type of companionship she's in need of, which leads to everyone in this tangled dynamic having unhealthy relationships with each other.
We see Tamamo seeking connections and affections and largely being rebuffed by it everywhere except Tsukumo and the byakko. Soji's affection has strings attached, and Izumo is too fed up to offer any affection. The other members of the shrine ostracize her and give her a cold shoulder, and I'd bet money that they're vocal about their opinions any time she's around. (And they likely don't care if the kids are around or not.)
What I'm getting at is that Tamamo is lonely and you see that in how desperate she is for approval and connection and it mostly comes out with Soji. She does whatever he wants to keep her connection to him intact. We've also had a few indications thus far in the manga that isolation and depression and poor mental health are things demons take advantage of. We'll get more explanation on that later on, but suffice to say that Tamamo is not at all in a healthy spot to be constantly risking possession against an immensely powerful and evil demon.
I'll be honest and clear up front that I have no love for Soji and think him deplorable and he did not do anything to help Tamamo that we see. Rather, it seems he exclusively used her for his own pleasures without any care for her or the consequences their time together had.
I also think it's important that everyone know that Nine Tails -- at least the Nine Tails in this story -- is based of Tamamo no Mae who is an infamous yokai in Japanese lore. She has a long and complicated history with her origins unknown and a lot of political manipulation, but an important thing to know about her is that she is always depicted as a child eater. She devours women as well, and thrives on seducing men. She's beautiful and powerful and alluring, and she's manipulative.
So generations of women manipulated and regularly partially possessed by Nine Tails down the line, we have a shrine and town that reject Tamamo and her losing her grasp on the one adult who 'likes' her, and we see this moment:
We see her staring at him, enjoying the light atmosphere and gathering her courage (the sweat drop in the panel has me thinking she's nervous about this because it's not the first time this convo has happened.)
She wants him to come to her house and is trying to make it as appealing as possible. She wants a family and the life she's been dreaming up.
Soji rejects the idea entirely and pushes further by saying if she asks for him to interact with the kids in any way he'll dump her. The one adult connection she has will be lost because of her children. (Not actually. It's because he's a dick but she sees it as the children being the problem.)
She then goes immediately to Nine Tails to do the dance of spirit invocation which we're told this about:
So Tamamo--who has been isolated and lonely for at least a large chunk of her adult life is now seeing the one connection she's made with another adult (and an unhealthy one at that) potentially break because of her children-- goes to assimilate the Nine Tails in that unstable and unhealthy emotional and mental state.
It is heavily implied that Nine Tails started to take her over at this point, and you see her become more and more obsessed with Soji and more angry with her children, further isolating herself away from the small amount of support and connection she did have until she's entirely possessed by the vengeful and malevolent spirit of Nine Tails.
She murders Soji and tries to do the same to her children before the Illuminati take her and subject her to years of torture, all while she's still possessed by the Nine Tails.
One more detail and I'll get back to the scene in chapter 61.
When Tamamo was last fully in control of her faculties and saw her daughter, she saw Izumo in the same place she was. Ostracized by her community with no one but their small family to lean on. Her daughter was doomed to follow the same path Tamamo had, and at this point, it looks like this was a cycle that had been going on for at least a few generations. Isolated and connection starved women raising daughters who were isolated and connection starved children. Tamamo became overly touchy and clingy to everyone where Izumo became mistrustful. (And man does she have a lot of reasons for that.)
Now back to chapter 61 and the moment Tamamo dies.
She wakes up amongst the chaos of the zombie hoard going towards possessed Izumo, and she immediately intervenes to get the Nine Tails spirit back inside herself to save her daughter.
That's important to understand for her. She moved before the next moment I'm going to talk about. She saw Izumo possessed and didn't seem to hesitate to save her daughter. She has been tortured for five years and immediately moves to start that horrible possession again.
But while she's dancing to contain Nine Tails in herself, this is going on in the background:
Each of the other teens in the room came to get Izumo and they're shouting their support of her even while they fight an endless hoard of zombies because they came to get her. Tamamo can hear that happening and she can see that they came to help Izumo.
No one came to help Tamamo. At no point did anyone ever come to rescue her or fight for her. She was blamed for everything and was left to bear all the consequences for five years. (I am not blaming Izumo for that. She was a child and was not responsible for saving her mother.)
But with "We're here for you!" ringing in Tamamo's ears, she completes the ritualistic dance and frees her daughter from the possession.
Tamamo in her dying moments looks at her daughter and sees a community around her that Tamamo didn't have. She sees people willing to intervene and help and fight even though Izumo is pushing them away and possessed and not easy to get along with.
Tamamo, from everything we saw, was isolated and rejected by her community and had no one to support her. She was manipulated and played by her significant other and left vulnerale to possession by a society that needed her to do the thankless job and hated her for doing the thankless job. She was bubbly and friendly and still pushed away and rejected and ostracized until she succumbed to Nine Tails.
back to chapter 52
Blue Exorcist talks a lot about curses and ostracization. All the main cast suffer from it in some way or another. They've all been called terrible things and most of them have been treated as if they aren't human, and a lot of them have complicated lineages and may not be fully human which just amplifies the amount they're rejected by their peers.
For Tamamo, that curse was literal and figurative. The literal curse was the constant absorption of an insane demon that eventually consumed her until she'd destroyed what little family she had.
It was figurative in that as the head priestess and medium in charge of the rituals, she was rejected by the community she needed to support her. She was left floundering on the outside, always given just a taste of what she could have had if she was born to a different family, and left with a longing for what she would never be given and always wondering why she couldn't have it. (And yes, I'm probably reading into some things and filling in the blanks with hypothesis and assumptions.)
But in that final moment, Tamamo sees that curse of isolation and rejection has been broken by Izumo. That her daughter, who like all the daughters of the Kamiki line was alone, is no longer alone. That she has friends and support. Support that followed her into this hell and reached out to call her back even from a demon like Nine Tails.
I don't know if I've made myself all that clear, but I love the way that Kato has shown this over and over again and keeps showing the rejection of isolation and ostracization as any kind of solution. That she keeps showing through each of these relationships and arcs that it's reaching for and connecting with other people that brings change and healing and hope, and I love how she shows that through moments like this. It's a little moment that's so easy to miss, but it's so immensely huge when looked at in the context of the entirety of Tamamo's life.
I wish she knew that they would have come for her if they'd known she'd been there all this time. I wish she'd have found a community to support her and I wish she'd had someone to tell her Soji was a dick and she could do better.
I wish she could see Izumo now, still connected to her friends and even though it's the end of the world, she's fighting with and beside them. That she's seeking out connections and learned her lesson about not needing to be alone. That she's teased and loved and welcomed.
But I'm pretty sure in that final moment, she saw it all anyway.
As always, check out my tag #raven rambles for more aoex meta and analysis
#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#izumo kamiki#tamamo kamiki#manga discussion#shimane illuminati arc#it has occurred to me i could have used anime screenshots#but honestly it's easier to get the manga#and i still forget i have it all animated sometimes xD#wow that got long#raven ramble#i love this story so much#and god the way she writes about connections and relationships#and how she uses so many types#i love it so much#shura and ryuuji and shirou and izumo and rin and yukio#gah#i could write lengthy essays on all of them and still not feel like i've conveyed my thoughts
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much ado about nothing chapter 5 - plug!eren x reader - 18+!!!
DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. minors and ageless blogs, please do not read below the cut.
i have successfully kicked my writer's block to the curb and am ready to pick back up on plug!eren!!!! woohoo!! this is the part of the story where it gets really plot heavy and there's a lot of moving parts, so it's been a fun exercise to write and brainstorm. if anything is confusing or u have any theories/questions PLEASE hit my inbox i'm so down bad for plug eren i could talk about him for days.
get ready to meet a new character who is......not the best lol. this is also the first chapter written in eren's pov :o things are about to get interesting!
still haven't caught up? series masterlist HERE <3
specific cws: mentions of smut but nothing outright, alcohol use, swearing, u know the drill
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“If music be the food of love, play on. / Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, / The appetite may sicken and so die.” - Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare (Act I, Scene 1)
Eren is, admittedly, a romantic person, especially given his occupation. Not romantic in the cheesy, buying-flowers and kissing-in-the-rain sense, but he appreciates the little details of life. He loves autumn, when the leaves catch on fire with the changing of the season. He loves the little crook of a woman’s neck, that slope where it goes from tendon to shoulder to collarbone. He can appreciate a good bourbon; after years of raiding his dad’s stash, he developed a palate for it early on. Eren’s romantic nature leads him to believe in signs. When the universe tells him something, he listens.
The text still sat in his inbox unopened, marinating in its own bizarre, heartbreaking nature.
> heyyyy lover boy! i’m back from austria! missed u, let’s catch up ;)
Eren knows that Breeze knows him, knows him well enough to understand that his three-week radio silence isn’t a no, it’s a maybe. He hates himself for not immediately texting her back and telling her to fuck off, but after his conversation with you, he thinks it might be the universe telling him it’s safe this time, that he won’t end up a shell of himself. Maybe.
You had been firm in your assertion that you and Eren were better off as friends, and as much as he wanted to fight it, Eren respects women. As much as he can when he’s prone to wrenching their jaws open and spitting in their mouths while he’s balls deep inside them, at least. He’s disappointed, but he respects it, and if he’s honest, he likes you.
He likes your sharp humor, likes the way you tend to keep your hair up off of your neck, likes the way your eyes light up when someone gives you an excuse to talk about your studies. He hasn’t been “just friends” with a woman in a long time, but it’s refreshing, an excuse to go grab a coffee and shoot the shit like a normal person instead of lurking in the corner of a frat party handing out pills like a perverse ice cream truck.
The last three weeks of “friends” have been the best Eren’s had in a long time. You’re easy, that’s what he likes about you. He can drop the cold mask he wears so often, giggle over a stupid meme, listen intently as you prattle on about some long-dead 18th-century author that was “so ahead of her time!”, smirk when you chastise him for doodling little hearts and flowers all over your coursework.
Sure, he still steals a glance down your shirt when he can, and he’d never admit it, but he thinks about you late at night. He thinks about you when he’s in the shower, when he’s got himself in his hand, panting and swearing under his breath, but he manages to feel enough guilt over it to still consider you a friend. You’re caring and considerate and easy, wholesome fun, unlike someone that’s made a sudden reappearance into his life.
After that first night, just when he was starting to entertain the thought of promoting you from one night stand to official fuck buddy, the closest thing to commitment Eren allows himself to maintain these days, Breeze swept back into his life, and you hit the brakes on him. While it may not have been the sign he wanted to receive, Eren’s a romantic, and he listens to the universe, especially when it goes so far out of its way to tell him something.
He’s decided to let Breeze stew for a little while longer. Campus will be clearing out for Thanksgiving break soon, along with most of his business, and he’s going to wait until his hands are empty of work and you before answering her. Plus, she had flitted off to Europe after college like their entire relationship had been nothing more than a passing phase; Eren’s owed at least a little bit of pettiness, right?
> paradise ath 1130! see uthere ;)
Eren snorts at your text. Being as uptight as you are about grammar (you’re constantly hounding him about his texting style, and he’s been making them even more incorrect just to hear you berate him), he knows you’re not just texting quickly, you’re drunk.
“Yo, ‘min!” Eren calls into the kitchen, an excited flutter already rising in his chest beneath his hoodie.
“Yeah?” Armin’s head pops around the doorframe, a dab of ketchup on the corner of his mouth.
“Wanna go to Paradise later?”
“The club?” Armin’s nose wrinkles. Connie’s head appears right beside Armin, a wide grin splitting his face.
“Oh, hell yeah,” Connie answers for both of them before Armin has the chance to shoot the idea down, “who’s going?”
“Like you don’t know the answer to that,” Armin scoffs, ducking back into the kitchen with a roll of his eyes.
“I never took her for a ‘club’ type of girl,” Connie adds air-quotes to emphasize his confusion.
Eren mulls that over for a moment; he doesn’t really take you for a club type of girl either, but from the sound of it, Historia and Sasha have already done the job of getting you good and drunk and talking you into a night on the town. Eren’s always wanted to see what you’re like when you’re well and truly fucked up; every time you indulge him with a story from college, he ends up laughing so hard he’s clutching his stomach and gasping for breath.
Supposedly, when you go all out, you drop the mom-friend act and become a little less tame; is this Eren’s opportunity to get an eyeful for himself? He’s not waiting around to find out.
Eren shrugs. “Come help me make these runs and we’ll go. Armin, you’re driving.”
The drop-offs are uneventful, and as soon as Eren steps foot inside the club, his nose scrunches with distaste. Ironically, he’s never been into the partying scene, much preferring a quiet beer at Scout’s or a blunt on the couch to a club. The music’s horribly loud, bass thudding through the fabric of his hoodie and beating against his chest, and as he looks for you, he can barely see through the mass of bodies and the fog machines. You’re here? It’s difficult for Eren to imagine you, in your favorite flannel and those cute little Vans he likes, tucked against the bar throwing back your signature craft beer. As Connie urges him and Armin in the direction of the bar, calling for green tea shots, Eren nearly regrets his decision, until fingernails dig into his shoulder, spinning him on his heels.
“Hey, you.”
Eren blinks stupidly as you grin up at him through thick, black lashes. He’s never even dared to imagine you like you are now, piercing eyes gazing up at him through a heavy dusting of makeup and the shortest, tightest dress Eren’s ever seen hugging every inch of your curves. You look sinful in a way he’s never seen you before, not even when he was holding you tight to him and wrenching out orgasm after orgasm from your body. He gulps.
“Holy shit– hey,” he lets you pull him in for an overexcited hug, bites down on the inside of his cheek to distract himself from the bulge already swelling in his pants.
“I missed you!” You pinch his cheeks, much to Eren’s dismay.
“Just saw you yesterday– quit pinchin’ me. What are you even doing here? Didn’t think this was your scene.” Eren has to actively keep his eyes trained on your face; there’s a little bead of sweat traveling down the expanse of skin between your breasts that’s making his mouth water. Friends, he scoffs in his mind. Are you trying to kill him?
“Well, it’s not, but Sasha says I need to be more fun, and Stor says I need to find a boyfriend.” You gesture around like it’s obvious. Eren cocks an eyebrow, ignoring the inappropriate envy that twists in his stomach at the mention of the word ‘boyfriend’.
Boyfriends never like the guy friends, it’s practically a law of nature. If you’re dating around, it’s only a matter of time before some square in a button-down steals you away from your coffee dates and movie nights with Eren, but he can’t get too caught up in that now, not when you’re looking up at him all dizzy and sexy and bursting at the seams.
“Don’t know if this is the place for that.”
“That’s what I said!” Oh, you’re drunk drunk, all of your movements overexaggerated and shaky. It makes him want to laugh seeing you like this; his little book nerd, trashed and mere inches away from having her ass out at a club. Well, either laugh or drag you into the bathroom to bend you over the sink. He can’t be sure.
“Hey mama!” Connie shouts over at you, handing you a shot. Eren has half a mind to snatch it out of his hand after catching the slurring in your voice, but he’s too late; you throw it back without so much as a shudder, grinning all wide and wet and pretty when you swallow.
“I didn’t think you’d actually show up,” you tell him, pulling him down by his collar so you can speak into his ear. Eren has to bite back a groan at the feel of your hot lips against his ear. Friends, he reminds himself urgently, pushing you back from him but keeping his hands firm on your hips, relishing in the way your flesh gives under his grip.
“You know the rules. You call, I come.”
“That’s what she said,” you snicker, pinching his cheek again.
“Cut that out!”
“Make me.” Oh fuck, Eren’s going to die. He’s going to die if you keep looking at him like that, bottom lip tucked between your teeth and fuck-me eyes on him.
“You’re not being very friendly,” he manages to choke out, trying his hardest to give you a suspicious look through the dizzying wave of images that flash through his brain. You with your mouth full of him. You spread out on his bed, back arched and fingers twisted in his hair. The little “o” your mouth made when you rode him for the first time. Eren wants to smack himself, jump in a cold shower, something. Get a grip, dude.
“Maybe not,” you shrug, eyes darting over to the bar. “Hurry up and grab a drink, I wanna dance.”
“Not much of a dancer,” Eren admits, taking the beer that Connie hands him.
“Don’t worry, I’ll do all the work.”
Eren isn’t sure if he likes or loves the sound of that, powerless against that stupid little dress you’ve got on as you drag him behind you to the mass of bodies he had so disdainfully eyed on his way in. He’s greeted by a loud round of shrieking, one more pinch to the cheek by Historia and a slap on the ass from Sasha. You make a show of teasing him for how pink his face gets, but luckily, your friends are instantly distracted by Armin and Connie’s arrival right behind him. You pull him back down, glossy lips pressed right against his ear.
“I really like this song.” You’re barely audible over the pounding music, but even if Eren hadn’t heard what you said, he’d get the gist from the way you grind against his thigh, slow and sensual. Maybe you are actually trying to kill him.
“Yeah?” He’s breathless, irreparably and embarrassingly caught in the little web you’ve woven.
“Yeah.” You’re moving harder against him now, throwing your arms around his neck and grinding your hips into his. Eren’s only thought is to let his hands fly back to your hips, let you use him like a stripper pole to show off.
He can feel eyes on him, not the eyes of friends, but of other men around him, wondering who the lucky asshole is that’s getting the royal treatment from a girl as hot as you. If he were to be truthful, it’s getting him off, how every eye is on you and, by proxy, him, holding you like a lifeline as you let the beat rock through your body.
So this, this is the party girl you claim to have living deep inside you. This seductive, electric creature moving tantalizing against his body, this is the source of the stories Historia tells him that make you blush? How you could ever be embarrassed of this is beyond him; you’re like a little devil, sent straight from hell just to torture him, and Eren’s mouth is watering.
Song after song goes by, and you don’t let up, don’t let him catch his breath for a moment, moving from facing him to pressing your ass into his crotch and then back again, arms above your head or wrapped around his neck. Eren wishes he was mentally sound enough at the moment to feel ashamed that you can absolutely feel how hard he is through his pants right now, but he’s drunk on you, letting you press into him so insistently he has to tug your dress down for you, letting you drive him so crazy that he’s grateful for the loud music now. He’d die if Connie or Armin could hear the way he’s grunting and groaning low under his breath, powerless underneath you.
Suddenly, as if you haven’t just been riling him up for the last half hour, you back away enough to face him, shaking your empty cup and him and mouthing something that Eren’s still too dizzy to make out.
“Huh?”
“Get me another drink!” you shout over the bass, laughing at him.
Eren nods stupidly, darting away from you before he can grab your jaw, pull your lips to his like he so desperately wants to. Finally out of the throng of bodies, he can feel his head clearing, some semblance of sanity crashing over him. What the fuck has gotten into him? It was just one night, and you’ve kept him at arm’s length ever since, only seeing each other under the guise of coffee, or a beer, or Eren insisting you need to continue your education in the wonders of horror films. You’re drunk, that’s the only explanation; drunk and teasing him like you aren’t going to wake up and throw him right back into the friendzone. He rests both elbows on the bar, shaking his head like he’ll be able to knock some sense into himself if he rattles his brain around a little.
Eren orders your vodka soda and a beer and a shot for himself, something to clear his head and keep his blood pressure manageable. Hopefully, at least.
When he turns around, drinks in hand, that plan flies out the door. There you are, center of the dance floor, hands above your head and hips moving like you’re intentionally trying to make him lose his fucking mind. He tilts his head in interest when a man approaches you, grazes his hands over your hips like he means to start grinding against you. Eren can feel his own hands tightening around the bottle and the plastic cup in his hand, but he holds himself back; he’s got no claim on you, and if you’re willing to entertain the man (who, if you ask Eren, is way below your standards), who is Eren to stop you?
You surprise him in the best way: when the man touches you lightly, you whip around, brows furrowed and a little glitter in your eyes so mean that even Eren nearly flinches. He can’t read your lips in the low light, but he snorts to himself anyway as the man puts his hands up and backs away from you, eyes wide. As if nothing had happened, you spin back on your heel, facing a cackling Sasha with a shrug.
Eren feels a wide, proud smile blooming on his face. As much as he feels an unwarranted protectiveness towards you, he likes watching you get your teeth out and stand up for yourself. Before he can make his way back over to tease you, a voice from his left makes his blood run cold.
“Rennie?!”
Two thin arms are tossed around his neck before Eren can even respond, the familiar scent of vanilla and coconut enveloping him.
“Breeze?” Eren chokes out, too shocked to keep his composure. She pulls away from him and grins, a little diamond glittering from her right canine tooth.
“You didn’t text me back, you tease,” she swats at his chest, snags the vodka soda he’d bought for you right out of his hand, taking a sip. Eren takes the opportunity to swallow hard around the lump in his throat, one last tentative glance towards you before he turns his gaze back to Breeze.
She’s cut her hair, something short and choppy that swings around her ears, and fuck, she’s still just as pretty as he remembers, little freckles on her button nose visible in the darkness of the club.
“Didn’t think you wanted to see me,” Eren shrugs, forcing his face to remain schooled into one of cold apathy. She had left him, like he was nothing to her. He hates her, he realizes, god, he hates her so much it burns in his veins. Breeze cocks her head, frowning.
“Why would you think that?”
“You fucking left me, Breeze, don’t be stupid,” Eren makes a move to steal the drink back from her, but she holds it close enough to her chest that he’d have to practically grope her to take it, and his fingers recoil at the realization.
“Are you double-fisting, or did you buy this for someone special?” She teases, brushing right over Eren’s bristly demeanor. When he doesn’t answer, she raises her eyebrows. “It’s for someone. Well, point her out! Is she cute?”
Breeze turns on her heel, standing on her tiptoes to glance through the crowd. Before he can stop himself, Eren’s grabbing her upper arm, spinning her back to face him with anger blazing in his eyes. When he meets her gaze, her baby blues are alight with mischief, and he knows that no matter which direction he moves, he’s losing whatever little game she has him trapped in. That was the thing about Breeze; Eren was always losing her games.
“Fuck, just…just stop it, Breeze. What are you even doing here?”
“I’m back in town, didn’t you see my text?” Breeze shrugs innocently, sipping your drink.
“Okay, well, welcome back,” Eren deadpans, leaving her question hanging in the air between them. He turns back to the bar to order another cocktail for you, having given up hope of getting the first one back from Breeze, but she’s relentless, has always been that way. She slides up to the bar beside him, smiling demurely up at him.
“I missed you, you know.”
“Wouldn’t have guessed,” Eren scoffs, rolling his eyes. Breeze flinches, but Eren knows her better than that. It’s all an act, it always is.
“I never realized how much I hurt you,” her fingers grazing over his cheek nearly burn with how cold they are in contrast to the heavy, thick air around them, “‘m sorry, Rennie.”
“It’s fine.” Eren hates the way he twitches and nearly leans into her touch when she swipes her fingers over him. How many times has he thought about this, seeing her again after all these years? Everything he’s planned out, everything he’s ever wanted to say is lodged in his throat, a jumble of letters and words so squished out of order that they no longer hold meaning. He doesn’t love her, not anymore, but his body reacts before his brain can stop it, a conditioned response.
“Can we talk about it soon? Maybe over coffee?” Blue eyes blinking up at him earnestly.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Breeze,” Eren rolls his eyes, swallowing thick around the knot in his throat.
“There is,” she insists, “I brought this amazing espresso blend back with me from Florence, and–”
“If I say yes, will you leave me alone for tonight?” Eren can feel the exasperation in his tone, can feel the weight of his mistake weighing on his shoulders. It’s fine, he tells himself, he’ll make up some excuse and get out of it. A long conversation with Breeze about their breakup is the last thing he needs.
“Maybe,” Breeze tucks her lip in between her teeth, a little smile playing at the corner of her mouth, “unless you change your mind.”
“We can talk or whatever another time, but I’m going back to my friends, okay? Go find yours.”
“You’re my friend,” Breeze purrs, one hand stroking over Eren’s bicep, “and I haven’ seen you int–”
“Don’t push it,” Eren nearly growls, scowling down at her. He knows half of the hatred buzzing through his veins is reserved for himself, but he’ll unpack that at home with a blunt, not in the middle of the club with you waiting for him on the dance floor and Breeze staring up at him hungrily.
“Always wound so tight,” Breeze hums, reaching a hand up to squish his cheeks, “but fine. I’ll see you soon.”
She miraculously leaves him there with nothing but a wink, taking your vodka soda with her; Eren’s shoulders slump in relief. Knowing Breeze, it was a wonder she hadn’t tackled him right there. When he turns around for the second time, two drinks in hand, you’re already staring at him. Shit.
You don’t look mad– and why would you be? You’re friends, Eren reminds himself. There’s no reason for you to know who Breeze is; he’s never told you about her, and he never planned on doing so. Eren knows Historia, though, well enough to believe that she told you everything from the godforsaken moment he walked into your apartment that day.
He doesn’t like that look you’ve got, though; again, not mad, but he can see the gears turning behind your eyes. Eren has to practically force himself to walk towards you. Your head’s cocked in confusion, something watery and hesitant glimmering in your eyes through the low lighting. If he didn’t know better, he’d say you almost look hurt, but that wouldn’t be fair, would it? You didn’t want him, you had made that abundantly clear.
“Sorry it took me a while. Long line.” Eren hands you your drink, nearly wincing at how naturally the clearly false statement rolls off his tongue.
“Mhm,” you nod, downing nearly half of your drink in one long slurp. Your movements aren’t fluid and dynamic anymore; you’re stiff as a board, bouncing back and forth on the balls of your feet along to the beat of the song. “I…I actually have to pee, do you mind holding this?”
“Now?” Eren blinks, confused. “I just got your drink.”
You offer him a tight smile. “I wanted to wait ‘til you were back, so you could watch my drink. And so you didn’t think I ran off on you or something.”
“Oh, yeah, go ahead.”
He watches you slink away into the crowd, watches the dozens of eyes follow you, surely wondering what happened to the little firecracker in the middle of the dance floor. Eren knows you get like this sometimes, suddenly pensive and nostalgic, knows that per your own admission, you like to handle it yourself. He hadn’t done this to you, had he?
A firm pinch to his cheek distracts him, pulls him down a foot below his normal standing height. Could everyone just stop pinching his fucking face? “Shit, ow!”
“Was that Breeze?” Historia yells directly into his ear. Eren, six-foot-something of hell on wheels, blushes furiously.
“Dude, was that fucking Breeze, or am I too fucked up?” Connie echoes Historia’s sentiment from over her shoulder, eyes comically wide. Armin’s peering around him, eyes flitting back and forth between Eren, Connie, and Historia as he tries to understand what’s happened.
“Who cares?” Eren snaps at Connie. Historia’s grip on his face loosens, releases entirely. If Eren didn’t like the look that you had given him, he hates the look Historia’s shooting at him right now. All daggers and disappointment. She turns on her heel without another word, making a beeline for the bathroom and dragging Sasha along behind her. Eren doesn’t miss Armin’s eyes either; stripping him to the bone without saying a word.
“Quit looking at me like that,” Eren scoffs, waves a hand in Armin’s direction.
“When did Breeze get back into town?” Armin shouts over the music.
“A few weeks ago,” Eren admits, avoiding Armin’s eyes and looking for a spot at the bar where he can escape the heavy gazes of his friends, run away to drown this conversation in a shot of whiskey.
“Did you–”
“I don’t know, man, you know how she is. She just showed up.” Eren knows he’s being unnecessarily gruff, but in his defense, the last hour or so has been a whirlwind of memory and emotion and lust that he doesn’t have the capacity to deal with.
Armin nods simply, takes a sip of his beer. Eren’s known Armin since they were kids, and he knows Armin can read him like a book. If he had a little less pride, Eren would pull Armin to the side and ask if he can make any sense of what’s going through Eren’s head right now because Eren sure as hell can’t. There’s you, with your skimpy dress and your flirty eyes, grinding on him like you’re going to take him home and fuck him stupid again, like you hadn’t demanded an honest-to-god friendship that Eren happens to very much enjoy. On the other hand, there’s Breeze, flighty and just as much of a ghost as she is a real person, popping back into his life and batting her blue eyes at him like she’d never left.
You’re his friend, and Breeze is his terrible ex. There shouldn’t be a choice here– there isn’t, it’s just the way things are, but Eren feels stuck at a crossroads for some reason.
He finally gets fed up with the music and the bumping of bodies around him and storms off to the bar again, biting back the urge to snap at Connie and Armin who he knows are hot on his heels. Eren’s just looked up from the shot of whiskey burning its way down his throat, acknowledging the dizziness that’s come with his drinks for the night, when he spots you.
You don’t look angry, that’s a small mercy you unwittingly grant him, but you’re cowering. Historia, even being shorter than you, is practically pinning you to the wall outside of the bathroom, shouting at you with her finger in your face. Sasha doesn’t look all too pleased either, arms crossed and a deep scowl written into her features. Eren gets a glimpse of your phone in Historia’s other hand that she’s waving around erratically, and wonders what the hell happens in women’s bathrooms. He’s not exactly sure what prompts it, but he checks his own phone. Nothing.
“Are they fighting?” Connie asks, nose scrunched as he peeks around Eren’s arm.
“Looks like it,” Armin nods, wincing as you try to make a grab for your phone from Historia, resulting in Sasha saving you at the last second from face-planting as Historia holds it out of your reach.
“Should we, like, do something?”
“Absolutely not,” Armin and Eren echo each other, looking at Connie as if he’d just suggested they all walk into oncoming traffic.
Eren watches as Historia grabs you by the wrist and drags you out of the bar, your feeble protests doing nothing to stop her insistent steps. Sasha follows both of you, gently pushing you along by the small of your back and shooting a regretful glance at Connie, mouthing a sorry as you all make your exit. It’s hardly been five minutes before Eren’s phone buzzes.
> had to leave. do you mind paying our tab if i venmo you? it’s under reiss.
Eren bites the inside of his cheek again, not worrying in the slightest about covering the tab, but more so the reason for your abrupt exit.
> yeah i got u everything ok?
> thanks a ton! see u next time.
It’s purposefully avoidant, especially coming from Historia, who never misses a chance to make fun of you good-naturedly. If you had been sick in the bathroom or far too drunk to stay, she would have come out and said it. Eren throws his card down, going to pay the hefty tab you and your friends racked up, but not daring to pay his own. After all of the shit that’s just gone down, he owes himself at least one more drink.
Once he’s signed, he pulls out his phone again, thumb hovering over your text thread, then Breeze’s, then yours again. Mindful of Armin’s prying eye over his shoulder, Eren sighs heftily and shuts his phone off, leaning in to order another shot. The following morning’s approaching quickly, whether he wants it to or not, and he’ll save his fucked-up emotions for the daylight.
#enjoyyyyy#sorry about no smut again but like#we have to get through some PLOT okay#also don't drink and text/call is the lesson from this chapter#trust me it'll make sense#eren x reader#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger series#aot x reader#eren jaeger fanfic#much ado about nothing#much ado universe
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BLOG ANNIVERSARY (KIND OF....)
It’s been a year since I revived this little blog of mine with this silly piece on that day! I created this blog in 2019 but I barely used it and there used to be only CRK content 💀, it'd be 5 years old by now sheesh… This date means a lot to me! I used to post art while the account was on its first days! My passion stopped a few years ago due to mental health issues but I think it was for the best to wait until I had a maturity for it...that was until PT was a thing and I haven’t left haha… I was so scared posting my art back in the day since it’s been a while. Little did I know that this would be the start of a new journey! ♡
After seeing others notice my work, I became more active (esp. after October and onwards) and now I’m here! We’re only halfway through the first full year of constant art posts! This was one of best choices I ever made! Not only did it help me grow as an artist but as a person! ♡
The growth of this blog feels surreal to me! I never thought there’d be so many! The follower count here went from 15 to 250-ish as if now! Ya’ll are so sweet and talented, I swear! I feel so grateful meeting ya'll! I really should open myself more! 😭❤️ ♡
I’ve never thought I’d felt so seen and I'll always know someone is out there to support me and my work! Most importantly, it accomplished one of my biggest art goals: to connect but also to uplift other people! It’s so fun seeing how much my art has evolved! You can definitely see the improvement! There were some ups-and-downs but I learned overtime not to go hard on yourself and be proud of the things you make! Never have I ever had such a large creative outlet in such a long time! I feel so proud of my accomplishments and I haven’t felt this excited in years! (the reblogs/comments especially but anything really shaldldaskdl, I think my fam knows that I tend to get extremely loud when it happens, haha)! ♡
Thank you everyone for checking out this silly blog! I wouldn’t be here without ya! It reminded me of the things I loved doing and I’m glad I’m back to it! Here's more to come, I will keep doing my thing! ♡
Here’s a small drawing to celebrate! I’m already having a great time at vacation and I’ll be back soon! ♡
#large rambling ahead#had to get this off my chest#but from the bottom of my heart#thank you so much#❤️#ashleander speaks#also you get to see my sona here#now with short hair#i drew this#digital art#2024
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𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 About me! 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩
Hey, hey , hey! I'm Yor and I hope you have a nice stay ᡣ𐭩
𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 (she/her), slytherin, daughter of apollo, music lover, kpopie, bookworm, anime lover, INTP-T, Certified simp, Certified procrastinator.
ᡣ𐭩Dark Haired Targaryen lover (Crown Prince Jacaerys and Crown Prince Duncan, I'm talking about you guys!)
𐙚 STATUS: active
𐙚 REQUESTS: open
𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 This blog may have 18+/mature content; please do not engage with these works if you're a minor; please proceed with caution! You will be blocked if I put my detective skills to the test and realise you are a minor!
[I don't have limits to my asks as of yet, but nothing too extreme, please. I will add anything that I am uncomfortable with onto here (and dont make them too long!]
𐙚 DMs are always open <3 (im in desperate need of friends)
To join tag list ⋆.˚ My wattpad ⋆.˚
𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖊𝖝𝖕𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖉 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖜
𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 [🌼 - Fluff] [🫦- smut] [⭐️ - Fav]
All of my fics are posted to Wattpad first as it is my main writing site. If anyone wishes for any book to be transferred over, please tell me so I can cross-post if necessary.
One-shots will likely be tumblr exclusive!
House of the Dragon
Jacaerys Velaryon
Moira ♧ The crown princess of Dorne and the crown prince of Westeros abhor each other until they don't ♧
Link to Wattpad
Aesthetics & Summary
This fic is being written on wattpad. Will likely be transferred over soon.
Nepenthes Aelora Targaryen was doomed. She was doomed from the moment she was born, for the mere fact that she was born a woman.
Link to Wattpad
Aesthetics & Summary
This fic is being written on wattpad.
Indelible I One Shot 🌼 ☆ Jacaerys realises he should have listened to you and told everyone about the two of you too late… Or was it too late? or in which Jacaerys breaks up with you two years after secretly dating you, and you get wind of his potential engagement to your cousin, the heir to your family's company.
Link to Fic
(More coming soon...)
Percy Jackson & The Olympians
Luke Castellan
Dum Spiro Spero The son of Hermes and the daughter of Apollo were always enough for each other. What happens when one of them starts yearning for more? Luke x Daughter of Apollo Star-crossed lovers
Link to Wattpad
Aesthetics & Summary
Prologue: His truest love and his greatest regret
Percy Jackson
Veni Vidi Vici In which, Lorelei Astra Cessair Irvine loved him first, but he would always love her more. Percy x Daughter of Thanatos TLT - TLO Full length fic
Link to Wattpad
Aesthetics & Summary
TLT: completed
SoM: currently writing...
This fic is being written on wattpad. Might be transferred over if people wish it so.
Cathartic Helena Alexandra Azara Colette gets thrown head first into a deadly quest with her boyfriend, Percy Jackson. Will they find happiness, or will they be forced to watch as their love crumbles before them? Percy x Daughter of Ares BOTL - TLO Full length fic
Link to Wattpad
Aesthetics & Summary
COMPLETED✔
This fic is being written on wattpad. Might be transferred over if people wish it so.
Book 2 is called Reverent and has been uploaded!
Mon Amon Cara Asteria Callisto was the daughter of the moon and a huntress of Artemis. She knew of the world of the gods, the fates had always favoured her bloodline, not even the gods know why. She knew firsthand how cruel the fates could be but she never thought they would be as cruel as this. Percy x Daughter of Selene TTC - TLO Full length fic
Link to Wattpad
Aesthetics & Summary
TTC: completed
BoTL: currently writing...
TLO: TBW
This fic is being written on wattpad. Might be transferred over if people wish it so.
(More coming soon...)
Currently writing for:
Percy Jackson
Luke Castellan
Jason Grace
Jacaerys Velaryon
Lucerys Velaryon
Cregan Stark
Jake Sim (enhypen)
Others to be added
Random fics
(coming soon...)
More fandom/content to be added!
Made by Yor on the: 14/08/24
Last updated: 24/09/24
Dividers are Softcore Royalty by @thecutestgrotto
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EVERYONE LISTEN UP, THIS IS IMPORTANT!
I'm going to talk about the history of Tumblr, the current state of Tumblr, and why you should get out.
And you can call me a hypocrite, sure. But as an artist who depended a lot on commissions and art sales, I only came back to Tumblr because this is where the audience and active fandoms are. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here.
So, you've probably heard people calling tumblr "the queerest place on the internet". Probably more ironically that sincerely, lately. But the reason for this is that, at one point, it was true. Tumblr was synonymous with gay shit, all over the internet. That was this site's reputation. To the point that what the right wingers call "woke" these days, used to be called "tumblr shit". Tumblr was the BIGGEST resource for LGBT+ communities, information, advice and connection. That was here, on this site. Ask boxes thrived with friendship and fun games, artists got regular commissions and their work was shared. And, as much of a cliche as it may be to say this, Tumblr was a 'safe space'.
Then everything changed in 2018. I don't know how many of you were here for that, but that's when all this started. That's when we had porn bots. They'd start reblogging random posts, adding pictures of straight up porn. Naked people, straight up fucking. No tags, no warnings. Just uncensored porn and those stupid "click here to fuck me" captions. They were everywhere, constantly. And staff did nothing about it. No moderation, no kind of adding verification or new accounts. They just let the problem fester. Why should they care? Until they were threatened with being kicked off the app store, at least. Then they moved to do something about it.
So, instead of pulling together a human moderation team, or temporarily limiting new accounts, or doing any kind of intuitive policing of these spam bots, they just decided to make a blanket ban of all NSFW content, the enforcing of which would be carried out by AI bots. This, as you can probably guess, was a monumental failure. Anything that remotely looked like naked flesh was tagged as mature (a particularly infamous example features a picture of sand dunes being tagged as mature). And perhaps most tellingly of this failure, it didn't get rid of porn bots.
What it did get rid of though, was artists. Myself included. I was a mature artist. I had a NSFT sideblog. I sold commissions, I made money. It wasn't exactly career level, but I made enough that commissions helped me to eat when all my money went on bills. Then that was gone. Even SFW art wasn't entirely safe, because if the bot decided that your art had too much "skin" in it, you were flagged. (And at the time, I drew a lot of Jojo art, so I was screwed on that front.) So I had to leave. To find a new site where I could post my art, and try to continue selling commissions. The problem with this? Only a handful of people followed me offsite. I had roughly 300 followers on here. About 5 came with me to twitter. And then about 2 came with me to pillowfort. I had lost everything. Artists all over lost their following, lost their support, lost their income. All because people couldn't be bothered to boycott their funny fandom website.
But that wasn't all. Because now staff saw they had an opportunity. This bot they had created, was going around flagging anything mature, sometimes outright deleting posts or banning blogs that were too 'NSFT'. So... What group is often inherently seen as NSFT or sexualised? Yep, you guessed it. The queer community. And so that's what they did. They struck it all down. The biggest LGBT community on the internet, and they used the "porn ban" excuse to start flagging and deleting blogs. Never touched the nazi blogs, or the white supremacists, or that one blog that would doxx gay people in homophobic countries. Nope, they were left alone. But the most prominent, notable and well known queer blogs were gone. And again, the majority of the userbase was ok with this. They stayed.
I left this site for 5 years. And I tried to make it work elsewhere, I really did. I went to twitter. But over there nobody retweets work, nobody comments on your art. I only had like 2 regular supporters. I haven't gained followers in YEARS. Literally the only reason I still post to twitter is because Airdorf retweets FAITH fanarts. I tried going to pillowfort, which is honestly like a BETTER version of Tumblr. But, it was empty. Nobody was there. I even offered to give out free invite links to pillowfort so other people could join up too! Nobody ever responded to me. So I gave up. After 5 years with almost no interaction, almost no commission sales. No friends, nobody to talk to, nothing to do, nowhere to go... I came back here. And interaction is so much better (even though it's still a struggle to get people to actually talk to me). But I hate being here because I know what this site is like.
Also I know how complacent people are. The things they did back then, they're still doing now. Flagging trans women as mature, straight up banning them for no reason, spreading around campaigns of hate. Its STILL happening. And you're all still here sitting "oh this is awful, this website is transphobic" and then go back to reblogging memes. I saw a poll recently that asked what people would do if tumblr closed down or kicked them out, and the majority answer was just "give up social media completely" and it's like, really? There are plenty of alternatives out there. Artists and creators, and LGBT activists and whoever have been BEGGING you to join us, but you just wont. People would rather sit in this sinking ship till it goes down than make the leap and follow us into the lifeboats.
And I'm saying this again now because there have been talks about tumblr making a deal with midjourney. Because they want to feed all our art, our selfies, our hard work into the AI slop machine. So history is repeating itself again, and once more artists will be begging you to please come with us. Please get off this site. Please come to a place that isn't actively trying to get rid of us.
Me... I'll be staying here as long as I'm able because this is the only place I have any kind of audience. But if you can, if you care about friends, if you care about artists, if you care about queer people. PLEASE come with us. If the worst comes to it, then I'll be leaving for pillowfort. Please, PLEASE come with me. I have invitations, I can send you one so you can join. Send me a message and ask me. Just please, don't die with this place.
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A few things about the blog:
Hello, I'm BatsimpH on Twitter and MsOdds on AO3. I made this blog to archive my fics and (some of) my arts, and of course make new friends if I can. Here are some infos about the blog and me:
I simp Bruce Wayne (evidently), and mainly ship Superbat with side AllBat (Bottom Bruce) so if it's not your cup of tea, please move on and save yourself the headache
I archive my arts and writings on this blog. I will only post my SFW art here, but I will link all of my Batman-related AO3 fics, some of which have TW contents, I will put warnings in front of each of said fics
Other than that, let's keep things amicable and harmonious.
***
Fics archive
Here is a list of all of my Batman related fics on AO3, with statuses (ongoing, complete, on hiatus...) , ratings, summaries and warnings. This will be updated in real time.
I. One-shots
1. Smothering Love: On how Batman's hugs are deadlier than his glares
When Bruce was still with the League of Shadows, he had the habit of breastfeeding Damian whenever he started crying. It was the only experience the Omega had with consolidating children. Coupled with the trauma of losing him, it stuck. In the end, four Robins (plus one lucky Kryptonian) suffered. (Bruce gives the worst hugs ever. Robins are embarrassed. Clark wants to be smothered by his best friend's chest, he just doesn't know it yet.)
Rating: Mature (no explicit sexual content)
Ship: Superbat, side-KonTim
Note: ABO, past-Mpreg, good parent Bruce Wayne, BOOBAS
This was my first ever Superbat fic and to this day it's still my most read one, despite being ABO, it's lighthearted w some angst and humor and crack
2. Merry it is, while summer lasts.
Bruce joins the Justice Lords when the first of the dog roses blooms. He leaves when the last has wilted and rose hips grow in clusters on spiky tree branches. His loyalty to Kal lasts a season, but his love for Clark survives a lifetime.
Rating: Explicit
Ship: Justice Lord Superbat
TW: Non-con, Coerced Sex
Notes: Medieval fantasy AU, Justice Lord, Dark Clark, Whump Bruce, secret marriage
This is a rather dark and Angsty fic, inspired by a middle-English song called "Miri it is, while Sumer ilas" and dog roses (Rosa canina). I consider it my best one yet.
3. Heated Combat.
"... So why not do it? Why not let his fists do the job? He’d rather be known as a prude than an insatiable bitch..." Every heat, Batman haunts the streets of Gotham and redirects his frustration onto anyone foolish enough to commit crime in his presence. For Alfred’s sanity, the safety of himself and the criminals, he needs to find a different outlet. Enter Superman. (Atypical Omegaverse where heats and ruts only make people extremely horny, or in Bruce’s case, horny and pissed off.)
Rating: Explicit
Ship: Superbat
Note: ABO, Batfam, CRACK, Humor and sexy time
4. Metastatis
Metastasis (n): the development of secondary malignant growths at a distance from a primary site of cancer Clark afflicts him with a disease of the incurable kind, a love so vile that it turns into world-ending hate. And just like the heart sickness that never goes away, Clark never lets him be, either. Three Supermen take an interest in the Devastator. They want to tame him. To do so, they first have to teach him how to love Superman again.
Rating: Explicit
Ship: Superbat (Dark Clark(s) x Devastator)
Note: ANGST, violence, body modification, mind break, Stockholm’s syndrome, suicidal thoughts
This is a requested fic, and a very dark one, read at your own risk
II. Multi chapters
The man of tomorrow who becomes the god of sorrow
“It’s not me you seek forgiveness from. It’s him… And if he were anything like me, then there is nothing to forgive… I’ve never resented Ka-Clark, either.” (“Batman, as your old comrade, I give you one last chance. Disband the rebels and pledge your loyalty to the Justice Lords and Kal. Beg him for mercy, you just might receive it.” But Bruce had remained willfully silent as Diana’s lasso biting into his neck until, until… In hindsight, what a moron Kal-El had been, waiting for the Bat to yield, knowing that Bruce’s body would give out before his mind did) After Lord Batman’s death, Lord Superman crosses many universes and finds him again.
Status: On-going, chapter 6/8
Rating: N/A (no explicit content, some violent)
Ship: Superbat + Superbat deviations (Justice Lords, Injustice...)
Notes: Lord Superman centric, Dark Clark, Multi universes (Justice Lord, Injustice, Flashpoint, Dark Knight trilogy...), Redemption, WHUMP and ANGST
This was my first attempt at writing Justice Lord and fix-it redemption and my second fic overall.
2. Accidental Cohabitation
Clark’s week has been terrible. First Batman rejects him, then Brucie Wayne invites himself into his life. Salvaging his relationship with a moody colleague and babysitting a runaway Omega billionaire? This might be a job even Superman can’t do.
Status: On-going, chapter 4/?
Rating: Mature (Some sexual contents and languages)
Ship: Superbat, past-others/Bruce
Notes: ABO, Brucie baby, Batfam shenanigan, humor, crack and some angst
This is just pure crack with drama and action elements
3. Kings take Queens
Pheromones draw mates to one another and they don’t lie. It’s all nature, but nature doesn't account for parallel universes. Lord Batman finds it increasingly difficult to reject propositions from his Alpha’s double. Batman, an unmated and untamed Omega, has his iron will tested by Lord Superman. Kal will stop at nothing to possess a Bat who won’t betray him. Lord Superman wants to help in his own twisted way and teach the other Kryptonian a valuable lesson. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.
Status: Complete
Rating: Explicit
Ship: Justice Lord Superbat, Injustice Superbat, Lord Superman x Insurgency Batman, Regime Superman x Lord Batman
Warning: RAPE, Non Con
Notes: ABO, Dark Clark, Whump, Angst, Justice Lord, Injustice
This is a dark fic, mostly porn and some drama, angst
4. Hit the ground running
Bruce knows that Clark wants to be his mate, but his body and mind are contaminated by Joker’s blood and he’s afraid of tainting Clark with it too. One year after Batman’s death, Bruce, accompanied by his best friend and confidant, returns to Gotham. The short visit propels their relationship along its natural course in a way neither of them could prepare for. When Bruce runs away, he unknowingly triggers a ritual as old as time, where Alphas hunt Omegas down and claim them.
Status: Complete, chapter 3/3
Rating: Explicit
Ship: Superbat, one-sided and past others/Bruce
Warning: Contains spoilers for Arkham games (Arkham Asylum, Arkham City, Arkham Knight, Arkham Origin)
Notes: ABO, Arkhamverse, mating hunt, Angst
Praise Arkham! Batman's thighs. You can still read this without previously playing the games.
5. Dynasty of Frauds
“You can become my mate, or I can put you under Brainiac’s brain control device again. What is it going to be, Bruce?” Kandor’s restoration brings about conspiracies that Kal has neither patience nor finesse for. He needs an ally, and Bruce, despite his many past betrayals, happens to be perfect for the job.
Status: On-going, chapter 2/?
Rating: Explicit
Ship: Injustice Superbat
Notes: ABO, Injustice
This fic is an attempt at royal! AU, takes place post-Injustice 2, Superman ending (Absolute Power), it's a dark fic with hopefully happy ending and fix-it, slow burn.
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By: Mary Ann Little Ph.D
Published: Oct 28, 2024
Key points
The permissive parent position is typically identified by the parent’s pervasive over-indulgence.
A child of a permissive parent may appear well adjusted until real-world frustrations arrive.
The child’s immaturity in tolerating frustration proves problematic throughout life.
The child sees themselves as better than others and comes to expect special treatment.
When Terrie moved to town and joined her local parenting group, she was surprised to find so many people sharing stories of difficulties with their child’s behavior. Many of these comments came with groans of dismay and shared stories of restaurant debacles and lost TV privileges. After a few gatherings, Terrie admitted that she never had to set limits for Elizabeth, who was eight years old, and time outs were exceedingly rare.
“I guess she’s just an easy kid,” Terrie said with a shrug.
Although many of the others left that meeting that day green with envy, after they got to know Terrie and her daughter better, the truth came to light. On the playground, when Elizabeth played with children her own age, she often came across as demanding. Her peer group had to play Elizabeth’s games, and no, she wasn’t about to take turns. When Elizabeth didn’t get her way, she pouted or threw fits that made her appear far less emotionally mature than her peers. Eventually, many of the friends drifted away, although she managed to retain the friendship of a shy girl who seemed content to do anything Elizabeth wanted. Terrie was happy at least one of the girls at the school understood exactly how “special” she was.
It turned out Elizabeth appeared to be an “easy kid” because Terrie gave her everything she wanted.
Stay up past bedtime? Sure. Get a new toy from Target, even though she’d already gotten two this week? Okay. Skip out on chores, again? Of course, you can focus on being a kid and your school work, and I’ll clean up.
The Permissive Parent
Terrie has adopted what can be called the indulgent/permissive parent position. This is most typically identified by the parent’s outright and pervasive over-indulgence. The child is provided with most everything she wants and, in some cases, with everything money can buy. She is seen as “special,” prettier than other children, more likable than other children, more popular than other children, or put simply, just better all around. As such, she is deserving of special treatment. She doesn't need to “worry her pretty little head” about insignificant things or the duties and obligations of daily life. The child is overly valued, and the relationship is characterized by excessive caretaking and attention accompanied by limited demands.
How Indulgent Parents “See” and “Treat” Their Child
The critical elements in the indulgent/permissive parent position involve the parent’s view of the child as special, and the parent’s treatment of the child, which is characterized by a lack of discipline and a general pattern of indulgence (see post one of this blog series for more on the view of the child and the treatment of the child).
The combination of this dysfunctional view of the child and this dysfunctional treatment of the child leads to a sense of entitlement. Elizabeth believes she deserves to be the one who picks the games on the playground. She believes her games are fundamentally better, and everyone else should recognize that. She has neither accepted mature limits on the self nor the realistic limits common to all healthy relationships.
Indulgence Has Important Psychological Consequences
If the grandiose or inflated view of the child does not become moderated through limit setting and frustration, the child clings to the view of themselves as better than others and comes to expect special treatment in the form of effusive caring and pampering. This type of child appears to be “spoiled,” and is ultimately emotionally immature and ill-equipped to engage in the mutuality of healthy relationships. Regardless of their presentation to the world, they are entitled.
Not all children respond to this pattern of indulgence as Elizabeth did. Some, like Terrie’s daughter, become extremely demanding and quite disagreeable in their insistence on getting their way, while others are less demanding of others but remain entitled and desirous of special treatment. Both types of children present as entitled, but the latter appears better socialized and more cooperative than the other. The former is prone to tantrums and verbal aggression, while the latter tends to beg their parents for the things they want.
Interestingly, parental indulgence can make children look more mature than they actually are for a while, especially when younger. Parents may explain that their child does not tantrum much, but that seeming strength is the result of the fact that he has not been exposed to much frustration. However, as the indulged child spends more time away from the home, real-world frustrations cannot be avoided and are poorly managed. The child, who earlier appeared to be well adjusted, throws tantrums, flings harsh words at friends, bursts into tears far too often, or acts aggressively toward others.
Indulgence and Its Contribution to Character Flaws
Indulgence comes at a cost to the child’s development. There are a number of potential areas of negative outcomes. Here’s a list of some of the most likely areas. Interestingly, all of the likely immaturities are associated with narcissism
Low Frustration tolerance: Difficulty tolerating frustration is problematic throughout life.
Poor Anger Management: Problems in controlling anger result in a kind of emotional immaturity. A problem with anger management is the adult embodiment of this childhood deficiency if the root problem remains unaddressed.
Sense of Entitlement: Expecting to get your way and being upset when that does not occur is a damning trait. Being demanding proves costs to relationships of all sorts and interferes with both intimate and more superficial ties.
“Better Than” Attitude: A sense of superiority is problematic from the get-go. It makes mature, reciprocal relationships impossible and contributes to being disliked by peers, co-workers, and mates.
Correcting Parental Indulgence and Reversing Course
It bears repeating that the right amount of warmth along with appropriate limits will help parents like Terrie steer their child back onto a good course of development.
Permissive parents can change. They can find their way back to the healthy center. They can learn to set appropriate limits, to require their child to do chores and help out, and to resist their child’s demands to get their way or be given everything they desire.
They can say “no” to a new sweatshirt and require them to wait until their birthday or Christmas. They can finish cleaning their room, even if it feels overwhelming. They can finish the semester of tap lessons without quitting early, even if it wasn’t as much fun as they thought it would be. Developing frustration tolerance and patience through age-appropriate disappointment, struggle, and longing is good for kids, a topic I discuss in my book, Childhood Narcissism: Strategies to Raise Unselfish, Unentitled, and Empathetic Children.
This is not always easy. Parents must work to find the right balance between frustrating and granting their child’s wishes, requiring them to wait and work for things that are desired while holding unconditional love and keeping support constant. Children must struggle to mature in healthy ways and find self-confidence in the benefit of persistence and accomplishment. Accomplishment without effort and fulfillment without investment undermine the development of the essential structures that ensure health and maturity.
==
This explains most of Tumblr.
#Mary Ann Little#psychology#permissive parents#tantrums#emotional immaturity#indulgence#child psychology#religion is a mental illness
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Hello, let me begin by saying that I absolutely love your blogs and all your posts!! I am an FK stan also and absolutely love them to bits, but I have a topic about them that I hope you'll be willing to share your opinion on.
I work as a middle management business consultant, related to management of PR and marketing although not for film industry, but i've had experience in handling products as a brand manager so i imagine the case with GMMTV and other TV productions are smiliar if we can replace 'product' with 'artists' in this case.
So relating to the branding of First and Khaotung as a CP by GMMTV, for the life of mine I just could not understand the (business) reasoning behind it for several reasons:
1. They are both versatile actor with good experiences on their belt and so far has chemistry every other actor they played with. it might be a bit of a waste for GMM to lock them both in a pair.
2. At the time it seems Gawin and First was more popular than FK, it should be easier and less risky to market and sail this pair, this pair also have the advantage of being in a more well known series (Not Me).
3. Both First and Khaotung relationship dynamic seems to not fit any existing mould that current BL pairs have (e.g. there's no clearly defined S/U between them), this seems risky and might not be well received by typical BL fans (esp. Thai Fans).
4. GMM has been trying to replicate OffGun formula a lot, all of GMM other CP seems to follow OG formula to an extent, which is not the case at all with FK.
5. All of the series that both acted as a pair in (Eclipse, Moonlight Chicken, and OnlyFans), are series that i think contain mature themes and not generally something that caters to the taste of Thai BL fans.
This question has been bugging me for awhile. The funny thing is: as mentioned above I am personally a SomSom, an FK stan :D I love them both very much and I absolutely love them together, but the decision to pair them together just doesn't make sense to me, I don't understand what GMM is trying to do here with both of them.
Sorry it's a bit long and thankyou SO SO MUCH if you decided to answer this :)
hi anon!
first of all thank you for your kind words!! 🥺 I'm glad that you enjoy my content!!
thank you for sharing your thoughts, however I can't say that I understand all of these concerns lol. here are my thoughts:
I would never call anything related to them "a waste" lol it's actually the opposite; pairing them was a very wise decision, especially because they're both highly experienced actors. They're versatile and talented on their own and they bounce very well off each other. And as I mentioned before I hope to see them act separately as well, as being in a fixed pair can limit their opportunities. But to call pairing them a waste is an insult dfkjgdf sorry. .
Not really. DanYok and GawinFirst were very popular at the time but it was kind of nipped in the bud by gmmtv; I still don't know why they never bothered with them but since they never gave them a platform or any sort of promotion, you can't really compare the 2 pairs imo. But if we still look at their general reception then no, they were not more popular than FK are now. I don't know what would have happened if they had fixed them back then but I imagine Gawin would not have been on board lol. He avoids the big spotlight so I don't think they would've gotten anywhere tbh. They were undeniably a hot moment though lol. .
Disagreed. A pairing shouldn't fit any "mould"; if they have good chemistry and work well together then that's all the premise they need. And speaking of which, what is the "mould of current bl pairs" anyway? The S/U dynamic sure isn't one and should not be a factor with any pair to begin with. But since we're on the topic, Gmmtv has never thematized this with any of their couples which I highly appreciate lol. And they don't need to because the Our Skyy lineup is fairly popular as it is. They're pushing the bro-narrative over the T/B-narrative but that's another can of worms lmao. The S/U thing might still be something that some fans care about but there are enough other couples in the industry which make use of that lol. .
What's the "OffGun Formula"? I've never heard of that lol. If this is about the same dynamic again then idk what to tell you. This should not be an issue. .
Nope. The times of bland high school vanilla shows is long gone and the fandom is not the same as it was 3-4 years ago. I've been on board for almost 6 years and more mature plots is something that is greatly appreciated, so shows like Not Me, The Eclipse or Moonlight Chicken and also other non-gmmtv shows got an appropriate amount of popularity because of that, not in spite of it. .
Generally I don't think any pair has to fulfil a purpose or "make sense" - if they work and have a good and healthy dynamic on and off screen then that's all that matters. at least to me. Just because they don't fit a certain stereotype or whatever doesn't mean they're an odd couple. They don't have to comply with anything. So that ideology seems a bit outdated to me.
However - I'm repeating myself again - the fixing should not get in anyone's way. gmm likes to overdo it with the promotion and the events etc. and especially with A-list actors like FK and some others, I fear that the overexposure might have a negative effect on their careers, i.e. typecasting and other issues. Which is why I hope they can find a balance between their couple works and their individual projects. And this goes for the other pairs as well.
xxx
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ag;asdfjag hello so I stumbled across the "specific fetishes they have with no explanation" post you wrote for the BG3 companions. Can I please request something like that for the Patho characters? Anyone you feel like including.
Sorry to keep bringing up your other blog but my goodness, your anons weren't shy on there XD It's amusing to notice the difference in content and asks between these fandoms. @ pathologic enjoyers where is the horniness!!!! /lh
🐿️ anon
Ah yes that classic post, it started because I wanted to give someone a hand kink and the rest followed along. I like the concept of specific fetishes that aren't explained but are accepted as part of the person nonetheless. Imitating organic sexuality where sometimes people are into things for no apparent reason, why do I think knight armour is so hot? I will never know.
I miss it sometimes, how shamelessly direct anons were in the bg3 with their nsfw requests. Talking with someone who knows exactly what they want is always refreshing.
I enjoyed the different concepts and how conversations about sex and fetishes flowed so seamlessly. They clearly enjoyed what I was writing and were mature about it.
While the Pathologic fandom feels more juvenile? Like a repressed adult going to a sex shop for the first time. The nsfw requests are vague and always written timidly, testing the waters, rushed even. As if I'll just suddenly disappear if they're not the first in line.
It could be the fact x reader content is scarce in this fandom while in bg3 they were plentiful. I knew some bg3 blogs that wrote smut pieces that could make the devil blush, genuinely. It was the extreme bdsm and dark smut i have ever seen, and i loved it.
I'm not complaining, I enjoy both fandoms' unique approaches tbh. I simply match the energy that is given to me, reading between the lines and all. If I notice, the requester is timid, shy, and vague about what they want. I'll go with vanilla and soft, slow sex.
Unless someone directly tells me they want to hear about my thoughts when it comes to Oyun's clear humiliation & degradation kink and life/death play, then I simply keep it to myself.
This blog started as a meme blog after all, didn't it? I just wasn't sure I'll even post pathologic x reader tbh. I wanted a throw-away account to talk about the game in because I didn't want to sully my bg3 account with unrelated fandoms even more. There is no need to wear its corpse and parade it through the square, giving my previous readers hope i might come back only to show it was a different fandom wearing its skin.
I kept that in mind, which is why i tage my x reader works with...well ♧x reader. So the people who are here just for the memes can filter it out.
Compare the notes my memes, character study and plot analysis posts get against my x reader pieces. It's clear who the majority is.
BG3 simply had more people interested in x reader, so it paid off in the long run to focus on it. While here I wouldn't have made it out from under the radar if I hadn't posted any memes, would I? No one searches for pathologic x reader on tumblr because the goddamn tag didn't exist before me.
It doesn't help that at least 70% of people who read this genre are lurkers, as it is natural with fanfics in general but especially anything deemed "cringy" or "taboo". Especially in a fandom whos tries to be taken seriously and seems high-brow to onlookers, yk pathologic.
Take the Hysteria fic, for example. I thought it would set the tone for the rest of the account, yk? but all i got afterwards was fluffy requests, so the balance shifted towards a more romantic style.
Right now, I have been getting more requests and nsfw ones, especially, but it was you who helped break that seal and encouraged other anons to come out because of your interactions and sincerity.
I think it was your nsfw Victor and Yulia requests which offically broke the seal and showed lurkers I am willing to fully dive into smut, that no this isn't a mirage and yes they can requests as many dom Daniil stuff as they want. You would be surprised at how popular that man is in my inbox.
Me personally, I would've simmered down or slowly stopped the x reader pieces if someone didn't come along to show interest in my work. I already have the whole world and works in my brain, I can just keep it there for eternity.
The fun in writing requests are the requestors themselves, the lively discussions, the passion, and happiness. The sweet kind words afterwards, waiting to see their reaction to something I've poured my heart and perverted mind into.
I planned on writing many more ship fics for pathologic, but Lingum Vitea was left in the dust so I decided against sharing my ship writing with these people anymore. Petty? yeah, but it is my own writing at the end of the day.
That's why I enjoy posing on tumblr, the interactions, the anons. It truly feels like you're part of a community, which is what fanfics were about before. Hell, it was what all fandoms were about before, remember when artists received anons discussing their vision and inspiration?
Now it's radio silence on AO3, or maybe my style specifically didn't click with them? I don't like multie chaptered works, I get bored of ideas easily and I can tell a whole story in less than 3k words.
Either way.
Be unhinged if you want, or don't. You can do whatever you want for eternity. This is for any person currently reading this and not just you squirrel anon. I don't lose anything by your shyness at the end of the day, but you certainly do.
The chances you might miss on, the opportunities, the self-acceptance and fullfillment. Let those 13 layers of irony melt away, we can be mature again sex and fetishes, we are adults after all, aren't we?
God, I hate the fact I had to tag my sub/dom post with ♧crack just so people take it as a light-hearted "lol im so crazy" moment. And they did, rather than start a genuine discussion about their role placement or how being dom/sub relieves stress and many other things.
I don't actually feel that strongly about any of this, I'm just frustrated about certain life events rn and it's easier to take my emotions out on this trival matter.
I have to go to a funeral today, I saved a draft of your request. I'll write it when I have the energy, I hope you do enjoy my bg3 writing in the meanwhile. And do leave a comment there or something if you do, just because I wrote it in the past doesn't mean I don't care about it anymore. I still check the bg3 blog notes and it is sad how people just like or reblog things without any comments because the author isn't actively posting anymore, it is borderline insulting.
Good thing I don't care about this, right?
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Hey yall! Super quick reminder; This is MOST definitely a 18+ blog
(Which I feel is made clear) but IF for some reason I have blocked u, (which I usually never do) plz know it’s bcuz I saw u engaging w/my content/following me & either found indications u were underage OR no clear indication u we’rent a minor (ageless +faceless blogs/bios)
While I don’t owe an explanation of my boundaries to anyone as no is both as explanation & response; I NEVER wanna come across as rude/disrespectful to followers of my content, as well as the community in general, & while I understand ppl usually explore things prior to turning 18… I NEED YALL to know I CANNOT have me NOR my content have anything to do w/that… any creator who is ok w/that is probably someone u should stay away from.. while certain aspects of my post are msgs I think are important regardless of age, (I.e. being ace or Demi doesn’t make u less valid, or rope CAN absolutely be platonic)
THESE are NOT things you should be actively exploring in the community/looking up until ur of age..
Hell… for me, im insanely grateful finding rope when I did cause HAD I found it/ tried to get into the bdsm community at the fresh age of 18; holy f*ck …. I really don’t know if I would be alive (& that’s not an exaggeration; I’m 100% serious)
Rope + BDSM can be AMAZING & insanely fun & done safetly ; platonically in a cool environment.. it can be ALL those things…
But ONLY if you don’t rush into things; approach it w/AWARENESS, knowledge & care.
And a BIG part of that comes with age+experience idc what anyone says…
and NO! trusting the WRONG ppl or making a BAD CALL doesnt make u STUPID. hell; it makes u HUMAN!
and sadly, being younger makes us far more trusting.. it takes a few heart breaks/lessons to truly become aware NOT everyone means well… & to put it bluntly.. that is NOT soemthing u want to find out while you are bound at someones feet…
Can something still go wrong when ur of age OFC…
But u’ll be better equipped to where u maybe able to handle it…
A tree can’t heal when it’s hacked up as a young plant… it NEEDS a foundation..
Once it GETS that foundation.. even if something horrible happened… a huge storm took half of it out.. it’s more than likely able to grow back..
It’s not fully destroyed.
It actually has a fighting chance..
It’s the same concept waiting until ur of age to get into the scene.
Also, while I empathize with the amount of things this generation has been exposed to; to the point they’re truly desensitized when it comes to overtly graphic images both violent & sexual whether it be thru the internet + media..(hell even going to school everyday w/the knowledge u could be in class w/the next school shooter…
My dudes; my dudettes.. theydies, Naydies.. my brothers in keyboards & Christ…
I CANNOT… like absolutely CANNOT HAVE/ condone MINORS consuming my content/in my blog.. in my community.. anything like that.
(For what it’s worth; I’ll prob still be here up to the same shenanigans when ur actually of age so; u can swing by then)
But AS someone who was exposed to things that were FAR beyond appropriate for my age… someone who grew up & took pride in those words "Your so mature for your age" "youre so wise beyond ur yrs"
before those vry phrases were weaponized against me..
it affects u in ways you can’t even begin to fully appreciate until ur much older..
And while I always rolled my eyes hearing “you wouldn’t understand at your age” (bcuz most the times it was said to me; it was BS) this is absolutely a case & point where it applies 100%
If there’s 1 things an abundance of images LIKE these & the vast amounts of overtly sexual content out there (porn included) soils /absolutely destroy when it comes to young minds.. young ppl
It’s the most sacred thing of all…
Connection..
I can’t even begin to put into words or # the amount of yrs I suffered & connections I lost because of what was destroyed because of that.
It’s taken A LOT of healing… A LOT of shadow work, A LOT of therapy; lol. THAT work is why I have such a positive foundation for my play today.
But quite literally the most beautiful thing about all of this, gets destroyed..because u didn’t build ur ideas based off of actual human experience.. it was fantasies projected for you; onto u, scripts that wwre acted out infront of you to sell content, to sell an image..
but they dont make that differentiation; its just portrayed as 'how it is', all at a time when ur brain is STARVING for 1) information 2) connection .. a time in youe life when ur body is regulating its hormones & brain chemistry to create 'the adult its trying to become'
we really go thru 2 puberty's as humans; one in our teens & the other in our early 20's before our brain fully develops at 25.
(theres actually been recent studies that suggest neurodivergent brains don't finish fully developing until they're 30s ; something that would absolutely explain a lot in my personal case... & yet are seen/treated legally as ADULTS at 18..
Says a lot they don’t want u to drink till your 21; but you can sign your life away to the military at 18…👀
No one ‘magically’ turns into an adult at 18… life is SO much more complex than that. But it’s quite literally the bare minimum in giving urself a chance at a healthy happy relationship w bdsm or rope. (& if ur anything like me… you’ll probably still absolutely fk up then 😂; BUT you will be BETTER EQUIPPED to protect urself.
Save urself the trauma, the time… start exploring these themes-content when ur OF AGE!!!
So… if I blocked/remove u… PLS know..: it’s done out of love & protection.
💗♥️💗 ILU all
Be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself. You are worth the wait. I promise… ANYONE playing+rigger who IS worth working w WILL NEVER pressure + press you…& they CERTAINLY wouldn’t even LOOK at u until u were of age. Full stop.
And ofc, if a creator says MDNI, RESPECT THEIR BOUNDARIES/consent.
Thank u for coming to yet another TedTalk; sincerely; @ooooshetriesss aka hummmmingbird aka Fil 💗
#bd/sm rope#ropeart#rope bottom#ooooshetriesss#bdsmkink#bdsmlife#bdsmblog#consent#bd/sm community#minors dni#rope baby#platonic#artists on tumblr#ropebunny#rope suspension#b0ndage#art#shibari#millennials#gen z#gen alpha
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