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ME RIGHT NOW
Tiny Dots on an Endless Timeline
pairing:Â Logan Howlett x Female Mutant!Reader rating: Explicit (MINORS DNI; 18+) word count: 28.5k summary: "Itâs been a few years since you'd passed, dying in one of the earlier Sentinel raids. He watched you die. He watched you beg and plead for him to get everyone to safety as you used your gift to keep the Sentinelâs away. Itâs his last memory of you; a memory that makes these missions harder. But the idea that stopping all of this from happening could save you, could give him more time with you, gave him something he too hasnât felt in a long time: hope."
warnings: slow burn, angst/smut/fluff, pining, grief, death, panic attacks, intimacy, unprotected vaginal sex, nipple play, grinding, making out, overstimulation, aftercare
Authorâs Note: In this fic, there is some dialogue from the movie used and lyrics from Roberta Flack's "The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face". I do not own the rights to either and they are only used to help the plot of the story.
Please read my pinned post before following me! Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked as this blogâs content is NSFW.
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Abandoned Chinese Temple; Shanxi Province, China; Year 2023
Logan didnât have any high expectations when it came to missions. He has learned time and time again that every mission in this war creates loss. It seemed like every time they had a chance, that chance was quickly vanquished. He would convince himself for the longest time things will get better. They have to get better. All wars end eventually. Itâs just a matter of when and what the casualties will be. But right now, the end is nowhere in sight.
They were safe for now, hiding out in an old temple that has aged and weathered away with the times. Being back with everyone, seeing who is left of them, sits heavy in Loganâs chest. Having people he cared about ripped away like they were nothing, no proper burial or goodbye, aged him like nothing else. While physically he was still in his proper form and shape, mentally he was struggling.
Charles is giving a history lesson on the Sentinels, giving information many of the younger mutants were not fully aware of. Logan is aware of what this is leading up to, a plan Charles and Erik conjured up as a last resort. Itâs smart, but even when it seems too good to be true, he must remind himself the same thing: do not have any expectations.
Logan notices Charles is quiet, and everyoneâs attention is on Kitty. She had been talking and even though Logan had zoned out for a minute, the look on her face says it all; itâs impossible.Â
âYou have the most powerful brain in the world professor, but the mind can only stretch so far before it snaps. It would rip you apart. Iâm sorry.â
The gears in Loganâs head were turning. He doesnât quite know the limits of his mutation, especially in regard to traveling back in time. However, he has taken multiple bullets and slashes. He has been through some of the worst experimentation imaginable and his body always recovered. If his body could bear all of that, whatâs to say he wouldnât survive going back a few decades?
Itâs not long before everyone agrees that Logan going back was the only solution left. Charles and Erik walk him through what needs to be done the minute he wakes up as his younger self. Patience is what Charles keeps telling him, but of course he knows that will be challenging alone. Not to mention all the bullshit they were doing in the early 70s. Bastards.
âI do apologize, Logan. But I have the utmost faith that you can do this.â Charles chuckles, obviously hearing what Logan called them.Â
âThere is nothing left to lose.â Logan sighs.
âBut there is plenty to gain.â Charles smiles, the hope on his features stronger than it had been in a long time. âTo bring our loved ones home. To bring her home.â
Logan sucks in a breath, holding it for a second before releasing slowly. His hand goes to his neckline, pulling the chain from his suit to look at it and there it was. The engagement ring: a symbol of good things to come that will no longer come to fruition. A lifetime that was stripped away from him, a life with you no more.Â
Itâs been a few years since youâd passed, dying in one of the earlier Sentinel raids. He watched you die. He watched you beg and plead for him to get everyone to safety as you used your gift to keep the Sentinelâs away. Itâs his last memory of you; a memory that makes these missions harder. But the idea that stopping all of this from happening could save you, could give him more time with you, gave him something he too hasnât felt in a long time: hope.Â
âItâs good to see that spark in your eyes again, Logan.â Charles says.Â
Logan huffs under his breath. âI guess my emotions are starting to show on my sleeve, huh?âÂ
Charles laughs, before moving on into the other room. âYouâve grown a lot since Iâve first met you, Logan. And I have her to thank.â
Logan looks down with a smile, reminiscing only a little bit. You really were something else.
It isnât long before he is lying down on the stone table with Kitty explaining everything to him. It all makes sense, but he canât shake the fact he will be the only one to remember this war: the trauma, the anger, the dread, the grief. Even when this war will have no bearing on the new world he hopes to come back to, he will still live with that pain.Â
âAlright, Logan. Calm your mind and think peaceful thoughts. This may sting a little.â He can hear the uneasiness in Kittyâs voice, but he is ready. There is no pain he canât endure.
He closes his eyes and thinks about the happier times. Some of his fondest memories are of him simply waking up to watch the sun rays glide across your body in the morning. How you would curl more into his chest and mumble words with no connection whatsoever. How you would wake up, kiss his chest and keep going until your lips met his. He would always ask you to use your gift in those moments, wanting to hold you just a little longer before the day started. You were his little piece of heaven.
Even as he feels Kittyâs hands beside his head, he thinks maybe before he wakes up, heâll dream as his mind travels. Heâll dream of better times and that alone would hold him over during the impending pain. Because what he wouldnât give to have you in his arms again. Thatâs all he wants.Â
His hand grips onto the ring attached to his dog tags, holding it close as he prepares to enter a different time full of the unpredictable.Â
This is for you, baby. I will save you this time.
And with that thought, the hot pain scorches his temples and sets fire to his mind and then he is gone.
The Algonquin Hotel; New York City, NY; Year 1973
Music. Soft, calming music enters his conscience. It greets his mind, carefully shaking him awake. Then there is the sunlight. It is warm against his skin and he can feel it greeting him, telling him it is time to start the day. It all felt too familiar, and he thought he was dreaming. He felt something draped over his neck. It wasnât heavy but there was a weight to it. He lifted his hand to touch and the moment he felt another hand, he smiled. Yes, I am definitely dreaming because here she is. He brought your dainty hand to his lips, kissing it gently as he intertwined his fingers with yours.Â
But the moment is short lived as his other senses kick in. He took one inhale and knew immediately something wasnât right. He turns to lay flat on his back, and he canât help but curse under his breath. He feels like he is waking up to the pre-walk of shame as he looks at the woman beside him. He recognizes her, someone he had bodyguarded for a period of time and occasionally let her warm his bed. Well, he let her do a lot more than that.Â
If only he had the foresight to have kept it in his pants.Â
He sets her arm to her side and attempts to get out of the bed. He feels the water hold him back, and he groans deeply. Whoever invented water beds can fuck off.
He stands to his feet, taking in his surroundings. He recognizes the room and knows heâs in the Algonquin. The room has its signature set up, with its warm tones on the walls and floor, the plant hanging from the ceiling. Heâs been in this room before, or at least another copy of it. He sees the mirror between the two windows, and he walks up to see his reflection.Â
Holy shitâŚ
He looks the same, but the differences are prominent. The gray that was once at the corners of his hair and beard were gone. His head of hair looked fuller and was back to his original brown state. His body didnât look much different, but he felt rejuvenated. It looked like his body hadnât endured much. He looks down further and canât help but smirk. Heh, still got it.
His sights go to the window, and he peeks through the blinds, only to once again let expletives fall quietly from his lips. He knew it had worked, but seeing Times Square without its vast array of screens made him take a step back. There is a strange emotion forming in his chest, and while he canât describe it, he can tell itâs good.
âHoly shit,â he mutters in awe, taking in all the minute details. âIt worked.â
He feels relief, as well as curiosity as he scans the city in its older form. Charles had said he was a very different man during this time. He wonders what he will be walking into, and how he will prepare for the moment where Charles will think heâs full of shit.Â
But his mind drifts as he looks down onto the street, street musicians on the side playing their instruments for spare change. He remembers you telling him that was something you did for a while with empty storage containers and food bins as makeshift drums⌠right here in the city.
His heart aches at the thought that you are out there somewhere, living your life day by day like nothing was wrong. You had told him you had a bit of a rebellious streak in the 70s, especially when you were playing music with a bunch of punks most nights and living out of a van. It reminded him a lot of himself, how he would have some kind of gig to make money and then go home to his trashy, beat up trailer.Â
He always told you how he would have killed to see you in those times, and now that heâs here heâs tempted. Maybe he could leave right now and take a quick peak around the city. He wouldnât even interact with you. He just wants to see you breathing and alive. He wants to see you living your life to the fullest, even if it pains him to not interfere.
He scoffs at himself, shaking his head and releasing the blind shade. No. He came here to do one thing, and that was to find Charles and Erik. He knows that if he plays his cards right, everything will turn out okay. The mutant population will continue to thrive, his friends will be alive, and you will continue to be by his side. Logan knows good things come to those that wait, so he will wait for you. Even if it fucking sucks to do so.
He goes to put on his pants, deep blue jeans with a big belt buckle, something he wore often. Some things really donât change, do they?
He finishes covering himself, and the second his belt is strapped into place, he hears the door open. He turns to see three men standing by, talking loudly at the woman to get dressed as they stare him down.
Fuck.
Alleyway off of East 17th Street; New York, NY
âFuck!â
You shoot up from your van seat, the thumping on the door startling you awake. You groan, holding your head as you blink slowly. You turn and see a cop at your window, signaling for you to roll the glass down. You grab the lever, rotating it slowly before squinting up at the man.
âMaâam, you cannot park nor sleep here,â he emphasizes, snark laced in his voice. âYou need to get moving.â
You see him whip out his ticket book, a quick scribble before he rips it and hands it over to you.Â
âWhat? No warning?â You say defensively. âYou gotta understand I was drunk last night. No points for not drinking and driving?â
He looks you up and down, grimacing at your attire. âFor cretins like you, absolutely not. Unless you want to dispute the ticket in court, pay the fine.â He turns away, no consideration or anything.Â
You scoff as he turns to leave, and you roll your window up quickly. You watch as he walks away, and you bring your hand up, curling your fingers in. Everything slows down before freezing all together, only to then reverse in swift motion. You watch the cop rework his steps as time turns back, and you keep going until you see him drive back from which he came. You continue to let time go, so youâd have enough of it to get the hell out of the alley, before releasing your fingers. Time slows again and then it goes on like nothing has changed. You glance at the ticket, noting he had filled the ticket out prior before to scaring the daylights out of you.
âFucking pig,â you jeer, crumbling the ticket up and throwing it to the back.Â
You start up the van, pulling out of the alley slowly before turning onto the busy street. There was high traffic per usual, people pushing to get to their jobs. You glance at the clock to see it is nine in the morning, and hum at the amount of time you have before your gig tonight. You are tempted to find another place to park, to sleep off the dreadful hangover plaguing your head. You knew taking all those shots the night prior was a terrible idea, but the drinks kept coming after such a good show. It helps too that your mutation keeps everything in check, a fact that makes you grin.
Being able to control time, rhythm and pace come naturally to you. You are always able to keep a perfect tempo and can change it up at your will. While punk music has never been about perfection, it always helps that you can pull everyone back in if things get too out of hand. People tell you youâre a prodigy, but if only they knew. Your bandmates donât even know, and while you know they would embrace you, you felt it was always better to keep things hidden. Especially since you tend to use your power to save your ass far too often.
You decide to drive to central park, thinking some fresh air would stop your head from pulsing. You make a turn onto 44th Street, wanting to get to the main road for a straight shot to your new location. However, as you drive down, you start to feel strange. Your head was pulsing more, like your mind was trying to break down a door to give you a warning. It becomes borderline painful, and you canât help but pull over onto the side of the street.Â
You put your hazards on, opening the door before getting to the sidewalk. You squat down, dry heaving a little as you work to calm your mind down. You shut your eyes, rubbing your temples to ease the ache. And then as quickly as it came, it stopped. Your eyes open, looking around to see you are in front of the Algonquin.Â
What the fuck?
âI must have really outdone myself last night,â you mutter under your breath, standing up fully to get back into the van.
You get in and go to turn the hazards off, but you stop when you notice a man walking out of the hotel. You watch as he walks with purpose, getting into what looks to be a green 1970 Buick LaSabre. Your brain glitches, trying to process something that doesnât exist. You donât know him. Youâve never seen the man before. So why is your brain acting like you do?
You watch him drive off with a screech, and you watch until he is no longer in sight. You stare off into the distance for a minute, thinking what the hell just happened. It was new, and it isnât like anything youâve ever experienced. The aftermath settles in your chest with a weird sense of longing and it makes you even more confused.
I definitely drank too much last night.
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY
Logan knew the peaceful thoughts wouldnât come easy, but god damn the entire morning has been far from peaceful.Â
The altercation at the hotel ended with the three men on the floor, dead or alive he wasnât sure. He couldâve handled it better, but the shock from seeing his old claws and the excruciating pain from the bullets sent him into a frenzy. He had truly forgotten how painful bullets felt when his bones werenât covered in metal.Â
Driving from New York City to Westchester didnât help his mood. Heâd rather suffer a thousand stab wounds than drive in traffic and deal with dumbass drivers. The only upside was he had time to think about his approach with Charles, and how he was going to convince him that he was serious. He had a pretty good idea of what he needed to say and was feeling confident. As long as there were no obstacles, he could get this done.Â
But that all shattered when Hank opened the damn door. He hadnât even considered his presence, but Hank was a pretty understanding guy. Heâd understand, right?
Boy was he wrong.Â
He definitely underestimated how strong Hank was, especially after seeing him as a younger man. Their tussle had landed him onto the marble table in the center of the foyer and with Hank roaring at him from the chandelier. It was no surprise that the one person who still lives here came out: Charles.
Loganâs first thought after looking at Charles was how much of a bum he appeared to be. He wasnât one to judge, but to see his mentor in such rough shape was perplexing. It looked like the optimism he always held so close was far gone, which was made clear when he laughed in Loganâs face.
Charles did say he would need to be patient with him, but fuck he was a pain in the ass. Logan understood, as he wasnât much better when he arrived at the mansion, but if he was this much of an ass as Charles is now, God help him.
At this moment, he was working answers out of Hank, trying to piece something together that would convince Charles that what he was saying is true. Then he heard footsteps from the stairs.
âIâll help you. Iâll help you get to Raven.â
Which now leaves them all in Charlesâs old office, discussing plans on how to retrieve Erik without getting caught. Erik had explained where he was before Logan got here, but now knowing what he did to get there makes this more complicated. Not that it already wasnât, but it is for certain that his cell will be guarded to hell and back.
Once again, fucking bastards.
âWhat resources do we have?â Logan asks, hoping that Charles or Hank know someone with an ability to get them in and out.Â
âWellâŚâ Charles draws out. âI may know one person who could do it, but she will need some convincing. If we can find her, that is.â Charles chuckles, his hand rubbing his face in disbelief.
Hankâs eyes go wide. âYou donât meanâŚâ
âSheâs the only person that could pull it off, with her mutation and all.â Charles goes to stand, taking a swig of his whiskey in the process.
âWho is she?â Logan asks curiously, the odd mix of dismay and confidence in their tones intriguing. However, the second he hears your name, he freezes.Â
âWhat?â Logan says with uneasiness, something the other two donât pick up on.
âShe was a recruit back when Erik and I were forming a team to fight against Sebastian Shaw.â Charles explains.
âShe can control time,â Hank jumps in enthusiastically. âMove it forward, backward, stop it all at once.âÂ
âShe left shortly after Cuba,â Charles takes a drink with that. âShe said she didnât want to be at odds with Erik and I.â
âIs there anyone else we could use?â Logan interjects quickly. The idea of seeing you is oh so tempting, but there is a fear that any sort of interaction with you will tear you away from him. To see you is one thing. To interact with you is another.
âThere are mutants that can stop time telepathically, but she can do it all, which is why she is our best bet.â Charles adds, waving his hand like he is explaining something complicated. âThe only problem is I have no idea where she went. I havenât seen or heard from her in over a decade.â
Logan canât help but scrunch his face, biting the inside of his cheek in contemplation. He knows he canât let his selfishness get in the way of the lives at stake. If you really are the best bet to get Erik out, then so be it.Â
âFine, but we just use her to get Erik. After that, she is done.â
âWell, we have to find her first.â Charles shrugs. âI canât use my powers, so we will need to find an alternative.â
âWe have a phone book.â Hank suggests, already walking to the stack of books behind the sofa.Â
âThat is not going to help, but she was in a band around this time right here in New York.â Logan says, looking at Hank as he grabs the phone book. âShe was playing gigs most nights in 1973.â
Charles and Hank look at one another, seemingly perplexed by this new knowledge. âHow do you know this?â Charles speaks for them both.
âLetâs just say she becomes a protege of sorts for you in the future.â Logan leaves out the rest. This wasnât the time to get into the details of his relationship. âI know the band name. We can call popular hole in the wall venues around the city to see if her band is playing tonight.â
âIâll start looking through and making calls,â Hank offers, and sits down at Charlesâ desk.
âLet us know if you find anything. The minute we know something, we leave.â Logan says.Â
Logan leaves before a response is given and goes outside. The sun is bright, surprisingly not too cold for this time of year. He leans against the old brick, taking out a cigar he magically had in his pocket along with a lighter he had snatched off the desk. He cuts the end with his claw, and lets it sink back in as he puts it to his lips. He goes to light, his hand a little shaky but he eventually gets a good burn going, the taste entering pleasantly into his mouth and lungs.
He puffs out some smoke, sighing at how the events of today have turned. He had made the decision not to see you, and now he is going to have to. Itâs a double-edged sword; he gets to see the beautiful woman he fell in love with, while also taking the risk of altering his and your future together. So many what ifâs: what if something bad happens to you? What if you all get caught and you get sent to prison? What if you somehow realize you donât like him in this timeline?
What if you die and he canât save you again?
That thought alone makes him choke a little, lost in so much thought the smoke overwhelmed him. No, he canât think like that. There is too much on the line for his emotions to play games. Besides, maybe in the end, regardless of if he ends up miserable, youâd wake up in the future safe.
He just wants everyone he loves safe.
Maxâs Kansas City Nightclub; Manhattan, NY.Â
Logan has been to many different nightclubs. Having been a bodyguard for hire, these types of places were nothing out of the ordinary. There were plenty of young women he was hired to watch, ones that wanted to rebel a little, that would come to these clubs to have a taste of freedom. They all had the same shit: drugs, alcohol, sex, and bad decisions.
He was starting to feel the latter.
It isnât that he disagrees with Charles. Your mutation is powerful and would create easy access to Erikâs hold cell. You are the obvious choice. However, he canât stop debating with himself on if dragging you into this will change the future; one where you and him are never to be. The thought alone makes his stomach turn.
Along with that, just seeing you in the flesh is enough to send him into disarray. Logan is far from a nervous man, but it has felt like an eternity since heâs seen your face. One look at you and he may not be able to hold it together.Â
Him and Charles are sitting at the bar, nursing their shitty whisky. It burns the same, and by this time Logan is finishing his fourth glass, waving down the bartender for a fifth.
âListen,â he hears Charles yell over the loud crowd. âI know you can hold your liquor but you should probably slow down.â
âTrust me, bub,â Logan shoots the fifth round down his throat, swallowing quickly. âYouâll want me as loose as possible for this.â
âWhat is with you? Is this about her?â Charles nods to the empty stage. âYou acted very strange when discussing her today. Were you two close?âÂ
Logan looks down into his glass, his mouth opening and shutting not knowing what to say. It doesnât matter, however, because before he can make a decision, drums are starting to beat down heavily.Â
â1, 2, 3, 4!â
Drums start bumping, along with guitar and bass chords. The crowd starts running to the back where the stage is located, jumping and vibrating to the music. Logan looks to the stage, and lo and behold there you are on the drum kit.Â
Even when you were no longer playing with a group, you played a lot at the mansion. You often taught music classes for students who just wanted to have some fun. It was also your way of releasing some steam. Charles had to soundproof the music room so your constant drum smashing wouldnât cause a disturbance.Â
But here you are, keeping perfect tempo as you keep up your rhythm. Seeing you in your element was so much more than he thought. You were an animal on those drums, totally submerged in your performance. You were smiling, interacting with other band members during each song. Whether it be adding vocals, doing theatrics with your drumsticks, or silly banter, you looked like you were meant to be up there.Â
âSheâs really good!â Charles yells over the music, and Logan can only nod. He is immersed in you, his nerves gone as he takes you in. He missed you so badly that seeing you again has given him some grace. He needs to be careful, but right now it doesnât matter. He just wants to enjoy seeing you happy and alive.Â
The set goes on for another twenty minutes, the songs short and quick. The crowd was getting more rowdy as the set continued. They were shouting lyrics back, heads rocking and popping as they jumped around. He sees you looking out into the crowd, only for your eyes to meet his own and then to his right. Your eyes went wide, and he turned to see Charles lifting his hand with a small wave.Â
âWell, the cats out of the bag.â Charles mutters, not leaving eye contact with you.
Logan sees the shock in your features, and can sense you picking up the tempo slightly. Your bandmates didnât seem to mind, however, as they picked it up as well and the crowd seemed to love it. The last cord plays, and the crowd cheers.
âWeâd like to thank yâall for coming. Goodnight!â The vocalist said before the band walked off the small stage. You, on the other hand, didnât follow.Â
He watched you make your way through the throngs of people. The look on your face is unclear, but the moment you are in front of him, itâs like itâs just you two.
He fully takes you in. You looked about the same, maybe a little younger. You were wearing jeans with holes at the knees, beat up converse, and a white v-neck that revealed your collarbones quite nicely. A black leather jacket, that has seen better days, pulls it all together. There was a sheen of sweat at your temples, creating a shine in the baby hairs. Logan only had two thoughts in his head: that he desperately wishes he could pull you into his embrace and that you looked so sexy like this.
So incredibly sexy.
âWell, look what the cat dragged in.â You smirked, hands on your hips.Â
âI must say this is a pleasant surprise.â Charles laughs, standing up from his seat. âItâs so good to see you, darling.â
âItâs good to see you too, and walking for that matter!â You pulled him in, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek. It makes Logan shift slightly, a little jealousy lingering even though there is nothing he could do about it.Â
You let Charles go, and you look at Logan, quirking your head as your eyes scan him up and down. He keeps his eyes on you, not budging.
âSo Charles, whoâs your friend?âÂ
âAh, yes, well this here is-â
âLogan.â
Loganâs eyes go wide when your hands shoot to your head, gasping as you grip your head. He reaches out, wanting to do something to ease whatever is going on, but as soon as it starts, it stops.
âFuck, Iâm sorry. I must have really overdone it with the drinking last night.â You mumbled.
Logan smirks. âA real party animal, huh?âÂ
âMore like donât know when to quit,â you sigh. âSo, how did you know that I was playing here tonight? Or better yet, how did you even know I was doing this? Keep tabs on me up there?âÂ
âActually, Logan mentioned it. He-â Charles starts, but Logan is quick to hit his back, making him double over from the impact.
âWhat he means is it is a long story, and we should go somewhere else to discuss it.â Logan says with urgency, hoping his tone takes your attention away from how heâs acting.
âWhy not talk about it here?â You shrug, going to the bar to order a drink. âThe night is still young.â
âThis conversation needs to be for your ears only. It is highly confidential.â Charles interjects.
âHmm,â you donât look at him, finally getting the bartenderâs attention. âTrying to drag me back into some bullshit, Charles?â
âBullshit that could save everyoneâs life, sweetheart.â Logan says. He isnât used to your slight indifference, but it is something he is going to have to get used to. You are a different person during this time, after all.
You turn back to them, sighing before you lift your hand up, middle finger and thumb pressed together before snapping. Everything stops instantly. Drinks that are being poured freeze. People talking with others go still with mouths open trying to get the next word. The lights stop flickering, some looking to be out while others keep the light.Â
Time goes still. Except for the three of them.
His eyes go to look at you, where you are wearing a smug look.Â
âMy ears only, right?â You say, lifting your drink like you are cheering for something. âSo start talking.â
The Pentagon; Arlington, VA
The Pentagon was incredibly crowded, which was to be expected. Tours were taking place. People were rushing to get to their posts. Security was at each corner of the building. There is a lot of commotion, yet you knew this would be a piece of cake. And yet, you couldnât believe you had agreed to do this.Â
When Logan had explained he was from the future, a future where everyone will eventually become slaughtered, it took you aback. It was hard to think about. You knew the U.S. Government has an aversion to mutants, but to create a weapon to wipe them clean with Ravenâs DNA? You shouldnât be surprised, not with everything currently going on, but you are.
The plane ride was fairly quiet. Hank and Charles were in the cockpit, leaving Logan and you in the main lounging area. You had noticed Logan looking at you quite a bit throughout the quick ride. It was like he wanted to say something, but he couldnât. You couldâve sworn you saw something akin to pining in his eyes, but you brushed it off. You didnât know if it was his way of figuring you out, or if there was something else.Â
You wondered if you and him are connected somehow. With the headaches coinciding around Logan, you couldnât help but wonder if your mutation is doing something new, something it couldnât do before because you have never met a time traveler. Not until now.Â
Maybe you will get answers later. Right now, you have a job to do.Â
You are standing in the middle of the Pentagonâs main sector, mentally preparing yourself for this. You would have to hold time for thirty minutes, enough time for Charles and Hank to reach and retrieve Erik from his cell. This only gives them fifteen in and fifteen out.
âAre you sure about this?â You hear Logan say from beside you. âWe can find another way if it is going to be too much.â
He sounds so sincere, and it oddly does something for you. Here is a man you donât know much about caring about your wellbeing. For someone of his apparent nature, it is endearing.Â
âIâll be fine, but I appreciate you caring enough to ask.â You smile at him, and the smile he gives back makes your stomach flutter. Just a little bit.Â
âAlright here goes nothing.â You turn to look at Charles and Hank. âThe second everything stops, grab an authorized personnel card off of one of the security guards and go quickly.âÂ
âAnd youâre sure we are the best people to do this?â Charles mutters, looking torn.
You smirk at him. âOh, Charles. You may not realize this. but he cares about you. Maybe this is the reunion you need.âÂ
âI doubt it,â he grumbles but nods at you to go on.
You look forward, hands slightly in front of you before snapping your fingers. It isnât instant like it usually is. It travels, people coming to a stop before everything is completely still and silent. It takes a lot of focus and precision on your part. Youâve never had to freeze an entire building, let alone one that runs so deep.Â
As told, Charles and Hank make quick work, grabbing a card from a guard right by the door they needed to go through. Once the door shut, it was just you and Logan, who had insisted he stay in case something happens.
You sense his eyes on you again, just as he had on the plane. Minutes pass, and you think maybe he will say something, but no. Itâs just radio silence. You could handle it on the plane, but right now? Absolutely not.
You roll your eyes at his behavior. âYou psychoanalyzing me or something? I can multitask, you know.â
Logan moves so he is facing you, and he is only two steps away from you. You notice he is much taller than you, maybe by a foot. His attire is oddly fitting for someone from the future. The brown leather, the feather pattern on his shirt, and god the big ass belt buckle with blue jeans that fit his legs so nicely. You had to ask.
âSo, if you are from the future, I gotta ask: did you come dressed like that?âÂ
He looks down at what he is wearing, inspecting himself. âWhatâs wrong with how Iâm dressed?â
He looked so self-conscious. It was cute. âNot at all. Just not something I expected someone from the future to wear.â
âWell, technically I am in my younger selfâs body. This is how I dressed in 1973.â He chuckles. âI guess I still dressed like this though, before everything went to shit.â
âSo, you an old man now or something?âÂ
He smirks at you. âIâm probably older than your great grandfather, sweetheart.â
Your eyes widen at that statement. âIs that your mutation? Being immortal?â
âAmongst other things,â he holds out his hand, and within a blink of an eye claws are coming out from in between his knuckles. You tilt your head in awe, admiring the bones that are tinted yellow. He then lets them sink back in, the wounds healing instantly.
âRegenerative healing. Thatâs pretty neat,â you say. âStill must hurt though.â
âEvery time,â Logan hums. âBut you get used to it.âÂ
âI see,â you murmur, not knowing what to say after that. Luckily, Logan keeps going.
âYou must practice a lot for you to stop time in a place like this.â
You canât help the chuckle that slips your lips. âI wouldnât call it practice. I just get myself into stupid situations.â
Logan grins, taking a step closer to you. âYeah? Like what?â
âWell, a few weeks ago we got into a tussle with the police. They decided to start some shit at another club we were playing at. Gave me a black eye even.â You answered, oddly making light of the memory.
âBet you still looked just as pretty,â Logan joked, but with the way he was looking at you, youâd think he was being serious.
âY-yeah,â you stutter. âBut then they started making arrests. Thatâs when I shifted time back. Warned my bandmates before they came in. They were confused about the black eye though.â
This made Logan laugh, and you swear your heart did a double take. Why was this man affecting me like this?
âI like the idea of you getting a little rough. Itâs very different.â Logan purrs, and before you can ask what he means, you feel your powers start to weaken.
âShit,â you curse, hands clenching in front of you.Â
âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
You grunt in response, trying to pull yourself together. âHow long has it been since theyâve left? Shouldnât they be back by now?â
âItâs been about thirty minutes,â he confirms. âYou are certain time has stopped in this entire building?â
âIâm very certain. I wouldnât be struggling right now if it werenât.â You say with gritted teeth, getting lightheaded. âLogan, I told them thirty minutes. If I hold on any longer, Iâll pass out.â
Logan is looking around, searching for something before he takes off in a path you canât see. You are breathing heavily, trying hard to focus but you can feel yourself slipping. Itâs like you are on a cliff holding onto loose rocks waiting for them to slip.Â
âOkay look at me, baby.â
Baby?
You look to see he is holding a key card. He holds your attention, nodding to the door Charles and Hank went through. âWe are going to walk over to the door. Iâm going to open it with this. When I do, let go.âÂ
âFuck, what if we get caught?â You whimper, the mental pain starting to get stronger.Â
âI wonât let that happen again.âÂ
Again?
Before you could contemplate his words, heâs got his arm wrapped around your torso. His left hand holds your leather clad wrist, keeping you steady as two start to walk.
âSmall steps, small steps. Thatâs right,â Logan encourages, keeping pace with you as you walk slowly.Â
Heâs holding you gingerly, like you will break if he lets go. Itâs strange but you welcome it. You've never had anyone hold you with such care before. You were rough around the edges. Most people think you can handle anything, but itâs almost as if Logan has done this before; a common feeling youâve had ever since you laid eyes on him.
He stopped at the door, pulling the keycard from his left pocket and scanning it. The light blinks green and he pushes it, keeping it open with his foot as he looks at you.
âYou ready?âÂ
You nod slightly. âJust tell me when.â
âNow!â
You immediately drop your hands, and Logan is shoving you through the threshold. You gasp holding onto your chest as Logan keeps his grip on you so you donât fall. You take a deep breath, calming yourself down enough to keep going.Â
âWe need to get moving. We will get caught if we stay here.â
Logan nods, letting go of you to look at the map beside the door. You miss his touch already.
âWe need to get to this elevator,â he points to the elevator in the south wing. âItâll take us to the kitchen that leads to the lower cell.â
Without another word, you two are running. You put your hands up again, freezing time again but only in the areas you two are passing. It makes your brain fuzzy, but you push on. Logan looks back at you from time to time to check on you, worry evident on his face.
âIâm fine, keep going!â You press.Â
Before you two know it, you are both at the elevator. Logan is clicking the button repeatedly like itâll come faster, and within a few seconds it opens. You both rush in there, and Logan repeats his treatment to the closing button before the doors ultimately close.Â
You lean against the metal wall, taking a deep breath and praying to whatever God is listening that no one gets on this damn elevator. You donât know if you have it in you to protect you and Logan if someone gets on.Â
Luck was on your side, however. The elevator dinged, and when you looked up you saw it was listed as the floor you were getting off on. A sigh of relief escapes your lips, but it gets sucked back into your throat when you hear alarms. The elevator doors open and a multitude of men with chef kitchen attire run in completely drenched.Â
Before either of you get crushed by the masses, you grab Loganâs hand and yank him out. You hear more commotion coming from down the hall, yelling and crashing. You walk past Logan, jogging towards the noise. You make it to the door, hearing the voices loud and clear, and you bust in to see the insanity.Â
The kitchen was a wreck. The water is still coming as the alarm blares on. You see Hank trying to pull Charles off of Erik, but he wonât budge. Everything is a mess, and something about it sends you spiraling.
âOh fuck no!â
You are hurling yourself at these men. You grab Charlesâs jacket, and with the help of Hank yank him off of Erik. Hank flies to the floor, and you slam Charles to the wall. He looks so pitiful, and it makes you sick.
âI said thirty fucking minutes,â you seethe. âMy power has limits, and this is the reason you all pushed them today? Because you couldnât help yourself?â
Charles is silent, looking at you with complete guilt. Good, you think. He should feel fucking guilty.
âI could have passed out. You are so lucky I had Logan, or your ass would be going to prison.â
You let go of him, shoving him more into the wall as a warning, and turn to the other two knuckleheads. Hank and Erik are standing, looking at you in shock. They are really about to be in shock, however, because you werenât done.
âYou,â you pointed at Hank. âI know you hate your mutation, but your self-hatred almost fucked us all. I know you arenât that fucking weak, especially to pull his scrawny ass off of that dumbass.â
âWell, itâs good to see you too-â you hear Erik start. You donât let him finish.
âAnd you,â you shout, walking up to him and gripping the white prison uniform at the collars. âI know you are probably very shocked to see all of us. However, and understand this clearly, you do as we say. I am not about to have my future or anyone elseâs fucked up because of you. You hear me?âÂ
Erik smirks at you. âYes, maâam.â God, you wish you could wipe that look off his face.
You huff, shoving him away from you. âLetâs get out before we get caught.âÂ
âIt might be too late for that.â You hear Charles say, and you turn to see five Pentagon security members, plastic guns drawn.
âCharles,â Erik calls out. âDo something, Charles.â
âI canât,â Charles says under his breath.
âHands up or we will shoot!â One of the security officers yells, their fingers right on the trigger.
You groan at how worthless everyone is acting, and using your anger, you snap your fingers and immediately clench your fists. The cops freeze in place, and you are panting as your muscles suck up all the oxygen in your body.
âSomeone better knock them out before I give out and-â you are cut off by the sound of a pan connecting to skulls.Â
Logan was knocking these men out with ease, his strength apparent as the metal clangs. He is moving like a natural, arm swinging precisely to hit each man standing. It was captivating and watching him breathing in and out in his drenched clothes was very hot. You could feel your underwear start to cling to you, and you knew it wasnât just from the water coming from the sprinklers.
You let go, hands going to your knees as you catch your breath once again. Logan is immediately by your side.
âLetâs get out of here,â Logan commands, and he wraps his arms around your torso to sit you straight up.
âI got you, sweetheart. Just hold onto me,â Logan says in a low tone, like talking any louder would disturb the already broken peace.
Without a word, you grip onto him and you two walk out of the kitchen to the elevator. The others are waiting for you two, keeping the elevator open and soon enough you are all in.Â
Itâs amazing to you that you all made it out. Charles was smart enough to know to go through a back exit, and luckily Erik was able to move the cameras to face a different direction. It was as if none of you were ever there, other than the fact those security officers saw you. Youâre hoping Logan hit them hard enough for them to forget.
Charles had parked the rental car close by, shoving yourselves in before going off onto the road. You are in the middle in the backseat, with Logan still holding you close. Erik was to you right, working to put on the jacket and hat Charles had brought to make him less recognizable.Â
Well, less recognizable to fucking idiots maybe.
âAlright, where to now?â Erik asks, still trying to get the jacket on in the packed backseat.
âWe need to get her home.â Logan replies.
âWhat?!â You shout, feeling complete disbelief. âWhy am I going home?!â
âListen, thank you for your help. But this is dangerous, and you shouldnât get mixed up in it.â Logan continues, his tone a lot more serious than it has been today.Â
âI just fucking infiltrated the Pentagon and now you are worried about dragging me into this mess?âÂ
Logan is quiet, and you only get more pissed off. Who the hell does he think he is?Â
You push his arm off of you, twisting your body so you are looking directly at him. âI donât know if you noticed, but if I werenât there today, you all wouldâve been fucked. I care about what happens, and yâall need me. So, I apologize but Iâm fucking coming.â
Loganâs shoulders drooped, his hand going to rub his face. He breathes out, as if heâs trying to calm himself down, before turning to look out the window.
âFine.â
âGood, so we are in agreement.â You say, before laying back against the middle cushion.Â
You let your eyes close as the sounds of the cars and bumps of the road lull you to rest. The chill from the water sets in, and subconsciously you find yourself wishing those strong, warm arms that had held you so much today would wrap around you once more.
The Atlantic Ocean
Fucking bastards.
Logan doesnât understand how Charles and Erik were ever friends. Imagining them as anything but seemed easier. Maybe itâs the full rage of testosterone in their younger bodies. It would explain the extreme yelling, bickering, anger, grief. He understands the need to release all of that, but he already hates flying. Getting the man who can control metal upset isnât a great idea in an aircraft.Â
Things eventually calm down, but whatâs left is now a mess of broken glass and ceramic. Charles exits the lounge to go to the cockpit, and at the angle Logan is at he can see Charles with his head in his hands. He feels bad truthfully, seeing him so broken down and beaten up isnât easy. It reminds him a lot of himself. Looking at Erik, who looks like he hadnât been in a prison for almost a decade, irritates him slightly. But what irritates him more is that he almost crashed the fucking plane.
âSo, you were always an asshole.âÂ
As if on cue, he hears the door to the backroom open and you walk out. You are rubbing your eyes, holding onto the wall as your eyes double take on the view.Â
âLooks like I missed something eventful,â you yawn, walking over to start picking up broken glass.
âHey, donât do that. Let him do it,â Logan says, pulling a cigar out and putting it under the lighterâs flame. âHe did this. Let him pick this shit up.â
Erik puts his hand up, letting you know heâs got it. As he starts cleaning up, Logan watches you carefully walk over to sit across the table from him. You lean across it, crossing your arms as you leave your eyes on him. âGive him a break. Heâs been through a lot.â
Logan looks your way, taking another puff of his cigar. âYeah, and he couldâve killed us.â
You shrug, leaning back into the seat while keeping eye contact. âCouldnât have been that bad. I woke up to the plane flying smoothly.â
Logan takes another puff, a grin wanting to desperately pull onto his lips. Still a heavy sleeper.
âI think you just sleep like the dead,â Logan jokes, leaning forward with his elbows settling on the table.
âI guess.â Your head turned to the window, eyes closing and opening in slow succession. âBut seriously, what did we expect? They may have similar ideals for mutant kind, but they are different sides of the same coin. Iâm sure seeing one another after a whole decade makes it hard to keep everything bottled up.â
Logan nods in agreement because he can relate. When he saw you for the first time after what felt like a lifetime, it took everything in him not to pull you in. Even now, watching you as the light reflects on your face, he wishes he could seat you in his lap like he would after a long day of training. Having his arms around you as you curled into his side, feeling your warmth against him, made everyday worth living.Â
There was some reprieve when he was helping you after you stretched your powers to your limits, but he longs for you. He longs for your body, your kisses, your comfort, your love. He longs to show you how much you mean to him, to tell you he loves you. It is too much sometimes, especially in the kitchen at the Pentagon. Seeing how aggressive you were and smelling your scent change to something of want is making everything so much harder. He was already so worked up, he could have easily snapped, but he didnât and it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad.Â
There is a part of him that wishes you werenât here, so he could finally focus, but in reality he is thankful you chose to stay. He knows it is for selfish reasons, but at the same time he knew theyâd be lost without you. You give him the strength to keep going; the strength to push forward, even when itâs painful to keep everything he wants to do and say inside. So, he gets it. He gets it so much.
Logan notices you looking at him, and realizes he was staring. He coughs, trying to hide his embarrassment as he puts the cigar to his lips.Â
âSo, is that why you didnât join either of them after Cuba?âÂ
Your smile is small, like you were reminiscing. âBoth had very good points, and it makes sense why they believe the way that they do. Charles tends to see the best in people and Erik sees the worst.â
âSo, you couldnât pick a side?â
âI was only seventeen at the time,â you say. âI wasnât about to let two grown men tell me what to do, and Iâm glad I didnât. Iâm not their keeper.âÂ
âSmart girl.â
You laugh at this, and it feels like dopamine is being injected into his brain. This is the first time he has felt⌠Joy? Happiness? He could listen to it for days.
âYou said they sent you here together. Do they actually become friends again?â
Logan sends a small smile your way, but shakes his head. âItâs complicated.â And it really is. Logan is sure that if the Sentinelâs never came to be, they would still be at some sort of odds against each other. âLike you said, same coin, different sides.â
âI see,â you start to tap your fingers against the table, a nervous habit Logan had picked up on when you two met the first time. âSince we are talking, you never answered my question.â
Logan lifts an eyebrow in confusion, not realizing anything was asked.Â
âThe other night at Maxâs. Charles said you knew where to find me. How did you know?â
Logan only hums, taping his cigar to let the ash pool into the crystal tray. He feels like revealing anything about the future is a bad omen, but his restraint is wearing thin, and he canât help but relent.
âYou told me.â
âSo, we know each other in the future?â
Oh, you donât even know the half of it, sweetheart.
âWe do,â Logan breathes out.Â
You leaned in closer, your jaw in your hands. âAre we friends?â
Not quite. âSure, yeah. Weâre friends.â
âAre we close?â You are smiling big, teeth showing. He missed that smile.Â
âVery close,â he leans in towards you, faces a few inches apart. âSo close that I know everything about you.â
âYeah?â Your eyes flash. âLike what?â
âAsk me something.â He is feeling cocky now.
âOkay,â you draw out, looking around as you contemplate, before your eyes shine back at him. âWhatâs my favorite band?âÂ
âThey donât exist yet. Not for another couple of decades.â
âWhat? Really?â You gasped.
âThe genre doesnât even exist yet,â Logan grinned, seeing you surprised going right to his head. âBut right now, it would probably be Velvet Underground.âÂ
âWow, youâre good.â You compliment. âOkay, how about my favorite color?â
âReally?â
âShould be easy if you know me so well.â
Logan vibrates, loving the back and forth happening between the two of you. âItâs blue. Dark blue especially because you love how the sky looks after the sun has set.â
You look down, and Logan wasnât having any of that, lifting your chin with one finger. He moves forward just an inch more. âYouâre going to have to ask something a little harder, sweetheart.â
You shy away from him, still staying close, a rush of pink added to your cheeks. Fuck, you are so beautiful.Â
âOkay, well,â you say, still looking away from him. âThere is something else I can do with my mutation. What is it that I can do?â
Logan knows this answer far too well. Itâs the only reason he was able to be with you as he is, even though he truly believes he wouldâve fallen in love with you regardless.
âYou can stop yourself from aging.â Logan whispers, not wanting the others to hear. âYou use time to stop the clock in your body. You did it for a year after Cuba to try and gain back the time that was lost.â
âI wanted to finish high school, as crazy as that sounds.â You chuckle.
âMore like you wanted to continue doing marching band,â Logan says, laughing as you smack his arm.Â
âOh God, you must really know me if you know that!â You cackle. âI started aging again after I graduated though.â
âWhy is that? Didnât want to stay seventeen forever?â Logan tries to make light of it, but he knows why. He always knows why.
âWell,â you paused, leaning back into your seat with your hands still on the table. âThe war in Vietnam got worse. There were a lot of boys I went to school with that got drafted, and they didnât make it. If they did, they came back completely altered. Made me realize this isnât a world worth living in for too long, I guess.â
âI get the feeling,â Logan responds, to which part he isnât sure.
âAnd now that I know that the future's so bleaker, is there really a reason to want to keep living for longer than you need to?â You were looking at him so genuinely, and it broke his heart.Â
He sets his cigar down in the tray and goes to take your hands into his with a squeeze. He looks right at you, hoping what heâs conveying reaches your ears with sincerity and hope. âWe can change that tomorrow, and when we do, you will have a reason to keep going.âÂ
The conversation continues for a while, going back to answering questions for you and seeing your face light up when he guesses correctly, and he does every single time. Itâs dark out now, the new day counting down to start. Logan can feel himself getting tired, but you? You were dozing off fast with your head against the plane's wall.Â
âHey,â Logan reaches over the table, shaking your shoulder. âYou should go lay down. We have a long day tomorrow.â
You yawn, stretching your limbs before blinking a few times. âAre you sure? I slept in for most of the day. You should take it.â
âI insist. Besides, Iâm sure you donât want to sleep in here with these bozos.â Logan looks in the direction of Erik and Charles, one sleeping in the chair and the other sprawled on the couch.
âI suppose youâre right, but will you be okay?âÂ
âIâm used to sleeping wherever, so this is nothing. Please, get some sleep.â
Logan watches you get up from your seat, walking over to him before leaning down to his ear. âGoodnight, Logan. Sweet dreams.â
He feels your lips against his cheek, and he inhales sharply. He turns to watch you go into the backroom, and after a long few seconds he releases in an exhale. He puts his head in his hands, rubbing his temples in some poor attempt to calm himself, but his thoughts run fast and there is no stopping them.
He can feel himself close to snapping. Itâs like everything you do is calling him in, daring him to do something. He knows it is insane. You donât know him. If he were to do something, confess everything, what would that do for the future? Everything he says and does can change what the future holds, and a selfish part of him doesnât care. When it comes to you, he is a selfish bastard.
He leans back in his seat, closing his eyes. Tomorrow is the day things will be set right. When that happens, maybe he will wake up to a world where you are still there. He just needs to hold on a little longer.
Hotel Majestic; Paris, France; Day of the Paris Peace Accords
Getting into the hotel was surprisingly easy. You thought security wouldâve been on a high alert, but it was oddly empty. Everyone is able to walk around freely without worry, yet you are still on edge.Â
You donât know why, but youâve had an uneasy feeling ever since the plane landed. You keep relaying it back to nerves, but you know you are lying to yourself. Something isnât right, and the lack of security here is only making you feel worse.
âNot much security here for a big event like today,â Logan says.
âItâs still a hotel. Anyone can still stay here.â Charles responds. âWe still need to be careful though. Stay alert.â
You all make it to the staircase, and you see a map of the hotel. You point to the eastern wing, seeing how the third floor has a section for conference rooms. âTheir meeting is most likely happening somewhere here.â
âOkay, letâs get there quick. We are running out of time.â Logan says urgently, and with that everyone is running up the stairs.
Logan is ahead of everyone, and you take notice how much his demeanor changed. He is ultra-focused, his mind only on one thing, and you canât blame him. Youâre sure he is under an insane amount of pressure to ensure he pulls through given the future circumstances. However, youâve taken notice of how he keeps glancing at you with every chance he gets and it makes you wonder if there isnât something else going on in that head of his.
Before you can ponder more on it, you hear yelling. You hear things moving harshly and what sounds like bodies hitting the floor. You all take a turn and see a flood of Vietnamese, Russian, and American military personnel running out of a room you can only assume is where your target is: Raven.
You all enter the room, and everything happens so quickly. Ravenâs body hits the table, Charles is at her side, and Erik takes the tasers that latched to her body and gets them onto the man to the right of the table.
You hear a rapid beeping and to your left you see a man holding a device, red lines blaring as it goes off. You realize it is Trask, recognizing him from the papers.
You walk up, and before he can probably comprehend what is happening, you snatch the device from his hand. âIâll take thisâ
You arenât scared of him but you back away slowly, ensuring he cannot do anything behind your back. You hear another thump, and turn to see Logan against the wall breathing heavy with eyes screwed tight.
âLogan,â you speak up, walking towards him, but with a few steps in you feel a rush of pain to your head.
You collapse onto the floor, hands holding your head as you start to shake. The pain is sharp and static, forming at the base of your neck and wrapping around your head suffocatingly. You can hear someone calling your name, but it sounds distant.Â
âErikâŚâ you hear the fear in Ravenâs voice, and with all you can muster you look to see Erik holding a gun. The same one Raven had to kill Trask, now pointed at her head.
Your brain isnât comprehending anything Erik is saying, but his face is stone cold. Any hope that you were missing something was lost because you knew what he was going to do. It doesnât take a clear head to see that.
You try to put your hand up, attempting to stop Erik in his tracks. The second your fingers touch his ankle, he kicks it off and places his foot on your wrist. You moan in pain, his weight pressing down enough to bruise.
âIâm sorry, my dear. Iâm afraid you are out of commission.â Erik says calmly without taking a peep at you.
Everything happens in slow motion. The pressure is off your wrist, a gun shot sounds, and glass shatters. Your vision is blurry, your head feeling as if itâll pop off. The people in your vision blur together like paint bleeding in water. Voices are muddled and slow, but loud. You are in agony, and you just want everything to stop.
You start to hear more noise from the other side of the room, and you see Loganâs blurred silhouette on the floor with his back against the wall. His hands clenched in his lap with claws out, breathing rapidly like someone would when they are having a panic attack. You grunt, pushing yourself up on your hands and knees with your jaw clenching tightly as the pain spikes. You crawl towards him with intent, and all you can think is Logan helped you when you were growing weak. He needs someone, and you will help him. Even if it fucking kills you.Â
âLogan, please say something,â you grit through your teeth, biting back against the strong pulse in your head.
He is unresponsive, and your own panic rises. You both canât be down, not now. The fate of the world is happening at this very moment, and you arenât going to let this new ailment weaken you. You grab his left hand, being careful not to freak him out, and quickly change to have a grip on his wrists. You position yourself so youâre hovering over him, knees on either side of his thighs. His eyes are closed shut, his head shaking. It seemed like he was having a nightmare while still being awake.
âLogan, can you hear me?â You say with fast breaths, your head only getting worse, but still there is no response.
Fuck, I have to do something.Â
You decide to think fast. Maybe, just maybe, you can stop his internal clock, keeping him in place until you can figure out how to get him out of this. You are a little afraid to do it in his current state, not knowing if he will react before everything settles in, but you have no choice. Not unless you want him to cave in on himself. You will stay in pain if it means helping him.
âI got you, Logan. I got you,â you whisper with a tremor and put your hands to his temples, letting your power weasel its way through his mind. Your head clears instantaneously, the throbbing ebb dissipating, causing a sigh of relief to wash over you. However, that relief takes a turn into something startling.
You arenât sure whatâs happening. Logan wasnât freezing like you were anticipating, but something else was occurring. Your power feels different, like it was searching for something. Whatever you were doing, it seemed to be working. His breathing had slowed down, his claws retracted, and his body became lax against the wall.Â
The oddest part of all of this though is that you can see everything. Itâs like your mind has become a VCR, and a VHS tape of his best memories has been inserted. Itâs kind of nice to witness, seeing that even with all heâs gone through, things got better. However, the next thing you see makes your heart stop.
Everything is subdued, but you can tell he is outside on the lawn of Charlesâs mansion. Itâs bright out, and you see trees. You see young children running around playing, some using their mutations to get the upper hand in their games. And then he shifts, his eyes going to his side to see a figure beside him. His hand reaches out to them and the image clears.Â
Itâs you. Holy shit, itâs you!
You looked older. Not by much but maybe by a few years. The way youâre presented is more mature, but still has that edge. You honestly liked it, and liked the idea of who you would become.
His hand goes to your face, stroking the skin of your cheek and you watch as both of your hands go to the one lingering. You pressed a kiss to his palm, eyes closing and staying that way until you open them and pull your lips away.
âI didnât know you had come home.â You said, but it was playful.Â
âGot back early this morning. Didnât want to wake you.â
âYou can always wake me up, Logan. I missed you so much.âÂ
âYou have no idea how much I missed you, sweetheart.â
You watch his arms pull you in, but before you watch it happen your mind forces itself away. You feel tears dotting your face. And from the looks of it, Logan had tears on his face too.Â
What was all that?
âIs he okay?â You hear Charles coming from behind you, a slight edge to his voice.
âI-I got him,â you stutter, shock still in your system. âYou and Hank stop Erik.â
Thereâs no response except for feet pacing away and out the door. You look around and see everyone is gone, most likely getting out during the chaos. You hear a grunt, and turn to see Loganâs eyebrows scrunched up. His lips are quivering, and he is starting to shake again. When you see more teardrops form, you let go of him.
âShit, I overdid it,â you say under your breath, even though you have zero clue on what you did.
His eyes shoot open, causing you to almost jump off of him if it werenât for him pulling you back to him. His hands are on your face, thumbs pressing into your cheeks like he doesnât know if you are really here or not. He says your name softly, a hint of disbelief in his tone.
âLogan, are you okay?â You say, hands going to his wrists to steady yourself. In that instance he pulls you in, gripping you tightly in his hold and rocking back and forth with you.Â
âOh God, youâre alive. Fuck I thought I lost you.â You hear the pain in his voice, but it confuses you.
âLogan, Iâm right here. Iâm okay,â you reassure, arms wrapping around his head. You try to comfort him, but he just grips you harder.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says but itâs muffled with his face buried in your neck. âIâm so sorry I wasnât there to protect you.â
There is a dampness from his tears, along with the feel of his lips on your skin. His kisses are bruising, like he is trying to convince himself. You, on the other hand, are experiencing so much. You donât know Logan, but it is very apparent he knows you. He says you two were close friends, but the more he continues to kiss your neck, the more you think there is something else he isnât telling you. You can take a pretty good guess to what that is.
You are starting to think youâre going to be in this position forever, until you hear footsteps enter the room.Â
âWe need to get ou-â you can hear that itâs Charles. âWhatâs going on?â
Your mouth opens to say something but shuts when nothing comes out. You donât know what to say and you donât want to say anything that may set Logan into another fit of unrest.Â
âCharles, go pull the car around discreetly. Make sure you have Hank. We will be down shortly.âÂ
Once again, Charles leaves with no response. You turn your attention back to Logan, who is still weeping against you. You keep holding him tightly, thinking about how you are going to get him up to leave. As luck would have it, however, it is like something snaps back inside him because next thing you know you are being pushed away.
âWhat are you doing?âÂ
You quickly hop off of him, standing up in the process to provide some distance. You observe him, and see the shift back to how he was before he started to spiral. Still, there is something wild in his eyes, and you have yet to determine if thatâs a good or a bad sign.
âOh thank God,â you sigh in relief. âYou had me worried for a second.â
He groans, rubbing his head as he gets his bearings. You should wait to ask; you really should. But you need to know what he saw, and more specifically if he saw what you had seen.
âWhat happened? What did you see?âÂ
âI saw someone that is going to bring me a lot of pain one day.â Logan looks to the side, and you follow his gaze to where that military man once was.Â
âI also sawâŚâ he starts, only to look around and notice you two are the only ones in there. âWhere is everyone? Whereâs Raven?â
âSheâs⌠sheâs gone.â
âWhat?â His head snaps to you, eyes blown wide.
You look down, a sigh leaving your lips at todayâs turn of events. You feel the room shift, a tension building that feels foreign to you. You feel guilty, even though you know you shouldnât, but you feel like youâve failed him. He is here to fix things, and now no one has a clue if what happened will make things better or worse. From how he is reacting, it can only be the latter.Â
âWe need to leave.â Logan mutters, already walking towards the exit. âLetâs go.â
He isnât looking at you but waits for you to move. You nod, even though there is no recognition to come, and you walk ahead with him trailing behind you.
Yep, definitely the latter.
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY
The trip back felt like it had taken years off your lifespan, the stress that had surrounded the jet almost unbearable. Everyone had feelings of failure and guilt, as it took no telepath to see that, but what made things worse was how much Logan was distancing himself.
You had thought after what happened you would get to know more, but there was none of that, not even a word. Itâs like you had burned him with the way he kept his distance. Even on the jet, a space with little room, he stayed far. You had purposely moved closer, and he made an excuse to get up only to sit at the opposite end of the jet. It upset you, and you hate that it did. You shouldnât feel anything about him, yet after that stupid memory you saw, you do. How could you not?
You didnât realize it at the time, but feeling how far he is from you makes your body ache in a way thatâs unfamiliar. The way your body had felt against his, how solid he was, had you yearning. The way he had held you like you were the most precious thing he possessed had you wanting. If you are interpreting his memory correctly, then why is he holding you from such a distance?
Does he feel like it would be cheating? You know thatâs you but that isnât you now. You are different but how different? Different enough to warrant him to see you as a completely different person?
To be fair, you donât know his past or even his future, but your heart is starting to want to go where he is. Itâs like there is a red string connected between you two that stretches far and wide. You canât help but think you harbor these feelings because no matter what, you were destined to be with him and he was destined for you. Nothing can cut that string, but it can stretch tightly and that string is losing its thread.
Currently, you are sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting for someone to come out of Charlesâs room. Logan and Hank had taken him there, his legs having given out and his mind going off the rails as the effects of his medicine wear off. You chose to distance yourself so as to not overcrowd.
You could hear them talking, sometimes with voices raising and then going soft again. You couldnât make out what they were discussing, only hearing certain words that have no meaning without context. It isnât until you hear the door click open that you stand, seeing Hank leaving the room quickly followed by Logan.Â
âIs he okay?â You ask, watching Hank come towards you fast.
âHeâs going to try and find Raven using Cerebro.â He says walking fast past you down the stairs. âGetting his wheelchair!â
Logan follows him, not glancing at you or saying a word causing you to frown. You are hot on his heels, having more questions desperate for answers.
âLogan, is he going to be alright?âÂ
âYep, just fine. Hank and I will be right beside him.â Logan says curtly, walking towards Charlesâs old office.
âWhat about me?â You ask, but it falls on deaf ears as he starts to look for something.
âLogan.â You were starting to get frustrated. What the fuck is his problem?
He finally finds what heâs looking for, and you see him slam a phone book onto the desk. He is flipping through it just a touch too aggressive, pages cringing as he flips the pages. He then stops and puts his finger down on a number before picking up the phone and clocking in the digits.
âSeriously, Logan. Who could you possibly be calling?â You ask him, only to get fucking pissed at his next few words.
âI need a cab for 1407 Graymalkin Lane-â
âWhat the hell are you doing?!â You storm towards him, getting more irritated by the second.
âCalling you a taxi. You are going home.â Logan growls out, about to continue speaking before you snatch the phone from him and slam it back down.Â
âLike hell I am!â You yell. âJust as I told you a couple days ago, I am not going anywhere. You all need me.âÂ
He slams his hands down against the table, making you jump back. âListen here, princess. I donât care how much you think we need you because it doesnât fucking matter. We need to focus. I need to focus. I cannot do that with you here, so you are going to take a cab back to New York City. Do you understand?â
The daggers in his eyes are sharp, trying to make you give in to his demands. You know better and you can see right through him. âIs this about what happened in Paris?â
He scoffs, turning away from you to walk away. âIt was nothing you need to worry about. Just saw someone that is going to make my life hell. I am fine.â
âThat isnât what I am talking about. When I was trying to calm you down, I saw something.â You say, and it stops him in his tracks.
âWhat do you mean you saw something?â He turns, facing you. âWhat could you have possibly seen?âÂ
âI was trying to stop your panic attack by stopping the conception of time in your brain, but I did something else. Something I didnât know I could do.â You explain, and his face softens from anger to confusion.
âI think I somehow moved your consciousness forward in time,â you continued. âI was able to see where I was moving it. It was how I was able to get you to settle down.â
He is in front of you instantly, hands on your shoulders in a tight grip. âWhat did you see?â
âI saw myself through your eyes.â You breathed out. âWe were out on the lawn behind the mansion.â
âWhat else did you see?â Logan shakes you a little, causing you to squeak. He is starting to scare you a little bit; the way he is behaving is very irrational.
âThat was all I saw, I swear.â You say honestly.Â
Logan sighs deeply, tilting his head back with eyes closed. He lets go of you, taking steps back until heâs against the wall. You are growing worried with how he is acting. You wish he would just tell you everything. Tell you what you two really were. Tell you what is running through his head. Tell you what is scaring him so badly. Seeing him so vulnerable has shaken you, but you canât back down.
âWe werenât just friends,â you whisper. âWe were far more, werenât we?â
Loganâs breath hitches, and his mouth opens to speak but no words come.Â
âIt explains everything. The way youâve been acting since we met. I can see the longing in your eyes. I can see it in the way you look after me. What I donât understand is why you didnât tell me.â
âIt doesnât matter.â Logan laughs but it isn't playful. It sounds like a laugh that comes to cover the hurt and is full of self-pity.
âIt matters to me!â You lament. âI want to know why.â
âListen,â Logans says, his tone becoming solemn. âWhatever I say or do here affects the future as we know it. Me even being in the same vicinity as you these last few days has made everything extremely difficult for me. If say or do one thing wrong, thatâs it. The future I have with you ceases to exist and you cease to exist.â
âWhat do you mean I cease to exist?â You ask, taken aback by his confession.
Loganâs face pales, quickly turning to go back up the stairs. âFuck, Iâve said to much.â
Your hand grabs his, yanking him back enough to keep him still. âLogan, what do you mean I cease to exist?â
Both of your emotions are running high, bubbling to the point of overflow; the edge you both were teetering on, about to fall over. You shouldnât push it, but rationality is no longer home; only frustration.
âLogan, I swear to God if you donât tell me what the fuck it is you mean I-â
âYou die in the future! Is that what you want to hear?â Logan shouts, and everything goes quiet.
You are stunned. âWhat?â
âYou die during the first few Sentinel attacks.â Logan rips his hand away like heâs having an adverse reaction.
âSo,â you start, not knowing where you want to go with this question. âSo youâre afraid Iâm sealing my fate by being here?â
âIâm afraid I once again wonât be able to save you.â Logan says with a pained expression.Â
âYou donât need to worry about me. If something happens, I can just shift time back and we can prevent it.â
âGod, you are still so stubborn,â he heaves. He is now face level with you on the steps, and he takes your face in his hands.Â
âYou donât understand how hard it is for me to stay away. The first time I saw you at the nightclub, all I wanted to do was pull you into me. It is taking everything in me not to hold you like I want to. To kiss you, to love you. But the more I let you in, the more I am close to giving in. I will not divulge my desires at the risk of everyone that is counting on me, especially you.â
You can see his torment, and all you want is to comfort him. You want to kiss him so bad. You want to pull him by his shirt and never let him go. You understand his love for you, but you want him to understand that you would go to end with him, no matter what.Â
Your hands go to his wrists, keeping his hands in place. âHave you considered that you coming back here and me being here with you was meant to happen? What if me being here helping you all saves me? What if it extends our lifetime together?â
He doesnât say anything, but the way he is looking at you makes you weep. His lip quivers, his eyes start to shine, and his jaw is clenching hard enough to break teeth. Your hands slither up his arms to his shoulders. You feel magnetized, your face inching closer to his to see if he will have a change of heart. You are close enough to feel his breath shutter against your lips, and your heart is beating so fast you are sure he can hear it. You feel slight contact, a ghost of a kiss before full impact, but it never comes.
âLogan!â Charles yells from upstairs. âWe are getting ready to go.â
Logan is quick to pull away, sending a wave of hurt towards you. He breathes out a stuttered breath before yelling a response and heading upstairs, but before he goes up he turns his head towards you. âThere is money on Charles's desk. Please leave while you have the chance.â
He goes upstairs not looking back and you watch as he disappears from your view. You stand there for a while, deep in thought as you weigh your options, but you knew what you were going to do. Even though Logan was afraid, and rightfully so, you had a gut feeling everything would turn itself around.
So, with heavy steps, you walk up the stairs and down the hall, picking the second to last room on the right. It is barren aside from a bed and a dresser, and seeing the bed made you realize how exhausted the day's events have made you. You shut the door, and flop onto the bed, letting sleep take over and dreams manifest.
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY; Four Hours Later
20 Text Messages.
10 Missed Calls.
3 Voice Messages.
Voice Message 1: Hey baby, just calling you to tell you goodnight. Donât worry about waking me when you get home. I wanna see you as soon as you get in. Get back safely. I love you.
Voice Message 2: Logan, something is wrong. There are a bunch aircrafts above the mansion. Not sure what is happening. Myself and the others are getting the kids together. Iâd rather be safe than sorry. Please be cautious when you get home. I love you.
Voice Message 3: Logan. Logan! Whatever you do, please do not come to the mansion! Itâs under attack! Those Sentinels are here and- oh God Logan itâs a slaughter. Please do not come! Iâll find you once Iâm safe. I love you!
Logan is running like hell to the mansion, and he can see them. They swarm the building like flies, crawling along the brick. There are fires, giant gaping holes in the wall, and bodies⌠so many bodies.
He gets in, staying close to the wall as he listens. He can hear the Sentinel bodies grind and creak as they move, hunting down any mutant that hasnât been vanquished. He sniffs deeply, trying to find you in the building. He hopes you made it out already, but that hope is lost when he gets a strong whiff of you and blood.
So much blood.
He enters the foyer, and dead center he sees your body, a hole pierced into your stomach. He sees your mouth open, trying to breath but your chest stammers as it goes down.Â
No. No, no, no!
He is at your side, pulling you into his arms. He cradles your head, his hand going to the hand holding your wound. Your eyes are slitted, a dazed look looking right back at him. Itâs haunting how dull you are starting to look, and every second adds to his panic.
âBaby, Iâm here. Iâm here.â
Your free hand, the one not stained in your own blood, clutches onto his shirt. You pulled on it so lightly, strength slowly fading away.Â
âI told you not to come,â you whimpered. âItâs not safe here.â
âI wasnât about to leave you here to deal with this alone. We gotta get you out of here.â
âNo, you do.âÂ
âDonât say that,â he said sternly. âYou are coming with me.â
He lets go to take his belt and shirt off. Balling up the shirt, he moves your hand to put the fabric against your stomach.Â
âFuck!â You screamed.
âIâm so sorry, baby. Bear with me, please.â
He is crying, holding his sobs in as tears break over the dam. He takes his belt and wraps it around your torso, keeping the pressure so more blood doesnât come out. There is already so much around you.Â
âIâm gonna lift you up, okay?âÂ
He wraps your arms around his neck, getting a grip under your legs and your back before lifting you up.Â
âI got you. I got you.â
He starts walking back from where he came, but he wasnât so lucky this time. He sees them on the ground, making their way up from where he entered. He turns quickly, thinking the only other way out is through the tunnels.
He hits the secret door, and just as it opens he hears one coming their way. He shoves you both through, getting it shut before he starts making his way down. He is making multiple turns, his mind spinning in a haze as he goes to find the exit. He feels your breathing slow, and for the first time in a long time he is scared. You are everything. Without you, he is nothing.
He makes one final turn, the exit at the end, but he halts in his spot. All he sees is carnage. There is blood on the walls, bodies of students, and marks from where their gifts were used. The exit door had been beaten down, the walls cracked and gone along with it.Â
âGood GodâŚâ He shouldnât have come down here.
He turns to go back, but from the shadows comes one of them. It blends in with the concrete, and makes itself known once itâs in reach. Its arm shifts into something sharp, and once formed it draws down to where he stands, but just as quickly he dodges with you in his arms.
âWeâre not dying today, bub.â
He starts to run like hell towards the exit, only to see another one pop up at the opening. He takes a sharp turn, getting the runaround to make it back to the entrance. Itâs a maze of turns, feeling like itâll take an eternity to get to safety, but with one final turn he has it.
And then he doesnât.
Rubble had fallen from the flooring above and made its way down creating a massive blockage. Itâs a fucking dead end.
The two Sentinels approach, both opening their mouths to burn you two alive. He crouches down with his back facing them, preparing to take anything they give him. He will suffer. Good God, he will suffer. But if he can fake them out enough to leave, you will be safe. Thatâs all that matters.
But the pain never comes.Â
âLogan.â
He looks down to see you holding your arms out, and his eyes widen when he realizes you are using your powers. He turns to see the Sentinels, but they are still moving. Just incredibly slow.
âLogan, you need to leave.â
He turns back to you, and sees your body shaking. The work he had put into keeping the blood from spilling was fatal. You were hemorrhaging.Â
âIâm not leaving you here. I wonât do it.â
You let out a pitiful cry, your tears streaming down your cheeks. He can see his too as they mix with yours.
âThere is no saving me. Let me save you, please.â
âBaby, I-â
âDo not let me die in vain, Logan. They need you.â
âBut I need you!â
âI know, and Iâm sorry I canât give you what you need. Itâs selfish, I know.â
âYouâre damn right it is.â
âBut please, let me be selfish. Let me save you.â
He can start to feel the heat, the Sentinels mouths setting wide enough to set this tunnel ablaze. Everything is telling him to stay, but the way you are looking at him breaks him and it makes him cave.
He can never say no to you.
âGo. Find the others. Make sure they are safe. God, please make sure they are safe.â
âI love you, sweetheart,â Logan chokes, holding you just a little tighter. âIâm so sorry.â
âI am too.â
He kisses you. Itâs soft yet full of sorrow. Itâs a kiss of death, he knows it.Â
âIâll see you in the next life.â
You smiled at that. Itâll be the last smile he sees from you. âGo quickly. I canât hold on much longer, Logan.â
He lets go, gently setting you down, before he runs past the Sentinels and makes his way back to the exit. The second he was out of sight, he heard it. The roar of the flames, the mechanical sounds from their armor, and your screams.
All he can hear is your screaming.
Your screams.
You are fucking screaming.
Logan shoots up from the bed, a yell cutting off from his lips as he enters consciousness. He is breathing rapidly, swallowing nonexistent spit as he works to pull himself together. His claws were all the way out, a common side effect of his trauma response. He feels how cool the air is in the room due to the sweat that coated his body.Â
He didnât think he could dream in this current state. He hasnât had that dream in a while, even though he wishes it was simply that. He used to have it so often, a constant reminder that he failed you and let you suffer just so he could get away. Having to relive the worst day of his life over and over is his own form of hell.
He hears a knock at the door, startling him from his state of being.Â
âLogan?âÂ
He freezes up, knowing that voice from anywhere. He really doesnât want you in here, not with him like this. Not with him feeling so exposed.Â
âIâm fine!â He calls out, hoping you would take the hint, but he knows better.
He watches the door open and you appear. You are still in your beat up clothes, leather jacket and dirty shoes forgotten. Nothing has changed, but you look even more beautiful than you have since heâs gotten here. Maybe itâs because his senses are heightened. Maybe itâs the way the floodlights from outside shine on you in contrast with the dark room. Simply, maybe it is just you.
âI thought I told you to leave.â He says, trying to sound annoyed, but failing miserably.
âYeah, and I told you I wasnât going to let grown men tell me what to do.â You responded, shutting the door behind you.Â
âHmph,â he groused, looking down at his hands as his claws sink back into his flesh.
He hears you get closer, feet pattering against the wooden floors. âI could hear you in your sleep. I wanted to make sure you were okay.â
âYeah, Iâm okay.â But am I really? âJust a nightmare.â
He looks out the window, the night in full effect. The bed dips, and he looks to see you sitting down at the end. He sees it in your face that you donât believe him, which isnât surprising. Youâve always been able to read him no matter the circumstances.Â
âDid you want to talk about it?â
âNo,â he says quickly. He doesnât want to relive it twice in one night.
âOkay, okay,â you say calmly. âTell me what I can do for you.â
Please stay, so I know this is real.Â
Thatâs what he wants to say, but he feels like he will choke. His silence is deafening, so much so he sees your face twist in reaction.Â
âIf you want to be alone, I understand.â You got up from the bed. âGoodnight, Logan.â
There was a time when he didnât need to be strong or to carry the weight of others. With you as his anchor, he could be exposed. He has had to be strong for so long in recent years, but with you right here in front of him, he feels himself caving. So many emotions are rushing to his head, a battle between the Devil and God raging. He knows itâs wrong to interfere with the past, especially when there are consequences, but after tonight his sanity is slipping. Before he knows it, his hand grabs your arm to keep you from taking another step.
âStay,â he whispers, a hint of a crack that is only noticed by him. âPlease.â
âOkay,â you say with ease. âWhere do you want me?â
The angel on his shoulder is telling him to not give in, yet the little, conniving demon on the other side is telling him what he wants to hear. He wants you close; needs you close.
âWill you let me hold you?âÂ
He thought there may be some hesitation, but there is none. You walk back over to the bed, and he lays back as you climb onto it. His arm is out to invite you in, and you situate yourself to him. Your left arm is cradled into your chest and your right curls so your hand is where his heart is. Your head settles where his right arm and shoulder connect.
âIs this okay?âÂ
Itâs more than okay. âYes, thank you.â
You both lay there for a while, and he lets his senses completely take over. The first thing he senses is your smell. There is something so sugary sweet about your scent. He equates it closely to something heâd smell in a candy shop with housemade confections. Itâs intoxicating, and makes him hungry.Â
You fit into his arms just right. The skin from your cheek laying on his exposed shoulder brings a comfort he hasnât had in so long. It made him realize how touch-starved heâs been. He hasnât touched another woman since your passing, and the thought of doing so makes his stomach turn. He only wants to feel you against him, in every sense of the word.Â
The most shocking thing for him is to hear how calm you sound. Your breathing is deep and slow. Your heartbeat is sounding its soothing rhythm under your ribcage. Itâs the opposite of how his heart was reacting; hard and fast pumps of blood rushing. He feels your hand rubbing circles over his heart, and he wonders if you can tell how much you are affecting him.Â
âTell me something about me from the future.â
Logan looks down at you, and you look so peaceful as you lay with him. Does he do this to you?
âWhat do you want to know?âÂ
âAnything. Something good.â
There are so many good things about you. Itâs hard to divulge into just one thing, but even then he knows where to start.
âYou teach music at the school.â
You perked your head up at this. âI teach?â
âMhmm,â he hums, smiling to himself. âYou do a lot of the extracurricular activities for the younger ones, but music is one you do a lot of. Youâre really good with kids.â
You move your body, hands on top of one another on his chest. Your head lays on them, looking at him with a smile that makes his heart beat faster.Â
âSounds like Iâve become a lot more patient in the future.â
âTrust me,â Logan chuckles. âYou are still quite stubborn, but you are different with them.â
Logan loved seeing you with the kids. He remembers how nervous you were to teach the younger students, but he knew you would do well. Seeing how you interacted with them during class, how you encouraged them and gave them the will to work hard. So many of the kids came from families who despised who they were. You became a mother-figure to a lot of them.
He thinks about the time he woke up to kids laughing and looked out the window to see you running around with them. You were carrying on with them, laughing with them, looking at them with care and love. It was the moment he realized he would love to start a family with you. Watch you grow with his child, see you love them like you love the kids at school. It makes his heart twist.
âDid they like me?â
âOh, sweetheart. They loved you.â Loved. God, you were so loved by them.
âCan I ask something?â You ask.
âAnything.â He can feel himself getting lost in you, his hand subconsciously caressing your hair.Â
âWhat I did in Paris,â you start. âYou seemed genuinely confused when I explained what I did earlier. Was that something I couldnât do in the future?â
When you told him you brought his memories to the forefront of his mind, shifting time in his brain, he was shocked. Your mutation is special, and the control you had over it is simply astounding. He isnât surprised that your powers can do more than what was discovered originally, but it now begged the question: what triggered it and why now?
âNo,â Logan says with the shake of his head. âWhat do you think caused it?â
âLogan, I think you did.â He hears you hesitate.
âWhat do you mean?â
He watches as you sit up, crossing your legs. Your hands grab his right hand, thumbs pushing into his skin right where his mutated bones come out. It is strange how different you are acting in comparison to the last few days. You are acting like the you he gets to know later, the edge in your attitude completely gone. Maybe this is who you are or maybe⌠you are only this way with him.
âSo, the day we met, earlier that day, I saw you come out of the Algonquin.â
He sits up at this, heart picking up more. âYou were there?â
âI pulled over because I started to get a terrible migraine. It was so bad I thought I was having a stroke or something, but then it stopped like it was never there. Next thing I know, I see you and I can't look away. I felt like I knew you and I didnât know why.â
âHas it happened more than once? The migraines?â Logan is pulled into your direction, back hunching slightly to get closer even when he doesnât realize it.
âIt happened again at Maxâs when you introduced yourself.â
His eyes widen, the pieces coming together. âThatâs why you looked like you were in pain.âÂ
âI chalked it up to having drank too much,â you huffed out a laugh. âIt didnât make sense at the time, but after Paris I canât shake the feeling.â
âSo what are you saying? That I opened your mind?âÂ
âIf I didnât have access to this part of my mutation from the future you are from, what if that means this was all meant to happen?â You brought his hand to your chest where your heart lies and he can feel directly where your heart beats.
Where it beats for him.
âI wasnât even the one meant to come here,â Logan says in denial. âIt was supposed to be Charles.â
âBut what if it wasnât?â You grip his hand harder, pushing it further against you. âWhat if you were meant to find me to make things right? To save everyone. To save us. Maybe this is fate trying to tell you something.â
He is becoming weak. Your words are so honest and it is taking nothing to believe you. Maybe you are right, maybe you are wrong. You havenât seen the bloodbath the future becomes, but maybe you donât need to have seen to know. Your words, your reasoning; both make his resolve crack and there isnât much left. Having you here in front of him, being so reassuring and confident, he isnât going to last.Â
âWhat are you thinking right now, Logan?â You ask gently, and if he is seeing things correctly, he sees how much you want him to give in. And thatâs all he needs.
âIâm thinking about how much I want to kiss you right now.â
His hand on your chest is pulled lower, down to your left breast where you curl your fingers over his to squeeze the flesh. âThen do it.â
To say the dam has broken would be an understatement. The dam has vaporized, mass flooding reaching the heavens. Those three words were enough for him to snatch you into his arms, pull you on top of him, and get his lips onto yours. He has your thighs on either side of his own, holding you so close that your crotch is pressed tightly against his. Your hands are holding onto his shoulders with nails digging into his skin, and fuck he loves it.
His hands are all over you; going from your hips to your ass to the small of your back to your head. He wants to touch every part of you and memorize every inch of your skin. His fingers bundle up the bottom of your top, pushing it up with his fingertips to let his palms glide along your waist. You gasped against his lips, giving him the opportunity to let his tongue fondle yours.Â
He unclasps your bra as his hands reach the middle of your back, giving him the chance to take both items of clothing off your body. He pulls away from you, back leaning against the headboard as he takes you in. Your body is just as he remembered it, and he could weep at how stunning you are.
âDo I look okay?â There is a hint of uncertainty in your voice, and it sends his hands to gently bring your face down to him.
âYou are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on.â His eyes bore into yours as he tells you, needing you to know how much he means it.Â
Before he can say anything else, your lips are back on his. He lets you take the lead, your tongue leading him in a dance. It gives him the opportunity to focus his hands on your breasts. You whimper against his mouth and he feels you push your chest into his palms as he massages them, which causes a little smirk to form at the corner of his mouth. You had always loved when he played with them as it turned you on like nothing else.Â
âGood to know your tits have always been so sensitive,â he murmurs against your lips, thumb and pointer fingers going to pinch the puckered buds.
A high-pitched moan is pulled from you, your hips involuntary grinding against him in response. Your lips let go of his, and they end up going to his cheek. âI guess you know how to get me going, donât you?â
âOh baby, I know your body like the back of my hand,â he hums with a rumble. He can play your body like an instrument, the song being your sweet noises. He is going to show you just how well he makes you sing.
He is quick to flip you over, removing his white wife pleaser in the process before his hands go to your jeans. He yanks them down with your panties and you help kick them off before he tosses them aside. He goes to take his own off, stripping everything away until he is as naked as you are.Â
He crawls up to you, moving your thighs over his hips. His hands reach under your back and he pulls you into his lap. Your legs wrapped around him, and he groans as your wet cunt sits against his cock. His left arm stays wrapped around you, and his right hand holds the back of your head with fingers at the roots of your hair. Your hips start grinding up onto his erection, mewls so sweet that he canât help but consume them.
He pulls your head to the side by your hair gently, tugging just enough to get a reaction from you. Your eyes flutter, and he hums as he lets his lips ghost over your ear.Â
âI have every little spot of yours memorized,â he kisses behind your ear, his tongue peeking out for a little lick before kissing in the same spot. âEven if you think you know what they are, just know I know all of them.â
âFuck, Logan,â you say with a shiver, making your body press further into the heat he is projecting.Â
âMmm thatâs right.â His lips go down to the underside of your jaw where your pulse is, kissing it gingerly to prepare you for his next act. âKeep that up.â
He bites down slowly on the crevice, letting his teeth sink in far enough to leave his mark. Your hands are on his head, cooing softly at the distinct pressure. He releases, licking the indents he left in your skin to soothe the ache.Â
âYou sound so pretty, baby,â he murmurs. âLet me see if you know this one.â
His mouth trails down, sucking marks into your skin until he gets down to your sternum. His back hunches down, leaning you back to get the angle just right. He sets his tongue to work, letting the tip trail a stripe up until he reaches the notch between your collarbones. A little gasp followed by a hushed curse falls from your lips. The sensation causes you to squirm in his lap and it makes his dick twitch against your folds. Logan isnât a patient man in most regards, but he could spend an eternity exploring your body. Your reactions fuel him and they send blood right down to his cock.Â
âDidnât know about that spot, did you?âÂ
âNo, ah!â Logan pulls another gasp from you as he nibbles around the edges. âGetting me addicted to you early, arenât you?â
âThatâs right, angel.â Logan canât help himself, thrusting his hips up a little to let his length rub into your pussy; so wet and so good. âIâll have you yearning for me for decades to come.â
As he proceeds the motion of his hips, tightening his hold on you, he allows his right hand to come up to your left breast. With his tongue and cock being a distraction, he pulls at your taut nipple at the same time his teeth bite down on your collarbone. You cry out his name, his hair being fisted and pulled. He canât help the wanton moan that spills out, riling him up to no end.Â
Your breast feels so at home in his hand, but looking at how pretty your nipples look, flushed from his treatment, he gets a craving. His tongue makes a path down, making its way to the left and up until it slithers to your erected bud. His mouth latches, encircling the peak as he sucks earnestly. He continues rutting into you, feeling his and your fluids coating his appendage.Â
Logan feels himself becoming drunk. With you in his arms reciprocating his intentions, itâs like he is weightless. Something deep in his scarred heart is healing. Years of trauma from seeing and experiencing the unthinkable transform into the better things in life. He thinks of the future he could have with you. A future where you take his last name. A future where you two live in a little home decorated however you choose. A future with your belly big with his kid, where he can kiss your stomach every morning and every night. A future where you and him raise a child. He wants that. He wants that so bad.Â
In his drunken haze, he feels one of your hands leave his head. Your fingertips send his nerves alight as they trail down his arm. You are tracing the veins that are bulging out, and he grunts as they go over to his chest. He has switched to your other breast, and as he starts, he feels your palm against his cock. You are pushing it more into your cunt, thumb running over his fat tip as you rub it.Â
âFuck,â he curses with a pop. âYou are such a greedy girl.â
âWhat can I say?â You jest. âI know what I want.â
âAnd what would that be, sugar?â He thrusts against you, cockhead rubbing up and down your clit.Â
You smiled at him, and your other hand goes from his head to his jaw. Fingers slightly scratching his beard with your thumb on his bottom lip, you lean back into him with knees shifting. They are on either side of him now and his tip is being lined up against your hole. Your eyes seek out his, and he canât look away as he admires you. You are beautiful, an angel sent down for him. Every version of you is perfect, and for every version of you he will sacrifice everything.
âI want you to make love to me,â you say with a shuttered breath. âShow me how you love me. Show me what I have to look forward to.â
Loganâs tip is enveloped by your heat by the time you finish, and your words were the full confirmation he needed to seat you fully onto his shaft.Â
Itâs like gasping for air with how intense his reunion with you feels. You fit perfectly around him. Itâs almost too good to be true. Part of him is wondering if he is still dreaming, but with how warm and snug you are, it has to be real. This has to be happening.
You lift your hips until all thatâs connected is the head before dropping back down. His cock glides right in and he grunts as you work yourself on him. He guides your movements with his hands, both on your plush ass and giving a squeeze with every bounce. Your arms have since wrapped around his neck, head hiding in his neck. Your hot breath fans across his skin, your teeth nipping at him every time he fills you up.Â
He loves how you are taking what you need, letting you keep the pace to get used to his size. Normally during an intimacy session, he would prepare you more thoroughly. Heâd pleasure you with his mouth, letting his spit coated tongue lubricate your pretty pussy. Heâd finger you open, getting you nice and relaxed for his heavy cock. He would add another when your little noises got rowdier, a tell-tale sign that you needed more. He did everything to ensure you were ready for him, the enjoyment of your pleasure and taste a perk in the endeavor. With how you are riding him, however, it feels like you are preparing him. Taking it slow, letting him savor you, letting him know that this is real and you are his.Â
âYou feel incredible, Lo,â you whimper into his neck. He just about mimics you after hearing you call him by that little nickname.
âI can say the same to you, pretty girl.â He lifts your head by your hair, putting your forehead to his as he rocks up into you. âTaking my cock so well. You were made for me. Ainât that right?â
âMhmm,â you hum. âIâll always be yours. In every lifetime, I am yours and you are mine.â
He chokes out a laugh, completely overwhelmed with emotion. He kisses your swollen lips with ease, his tongue flicking out to savor your taste. Every moan that comes out is captured by his mouth, swallowing the sweet sounds desperately. He notices your hips start to slow, and your whining gets more consistent. He knew you were tiring, but that was okay. He has enough energy and greed to take over. You make him greedy, and he needs more.
âDid you want me to take over, baby?â
âPlease,â you mumble against his lips. âTake me.â
He doesnât need to be told twice. He shifts himself, keeping you two connected as he gets you onto your back. He situates you so your legs are wrapped around his torso, legs pushed down so your thighs are almost to your chest. The angle he has you in gives him the chance to push in just a little more, his tip putting pressure onto your cervix.Â
âOh God, you are so deep,â you mewl, clenching down on his cock causing him to groan at the grip.
âThatâs right, baby. Damn you look so beautiful like this.âÂ
âYeah? I look beautiful with your big cock in my pretty pussy?â
âFuck, you got a mouth on you.â Logan thrusts shallowly in response, a whine ripping out from your throat. âBut to answer your question, you look beautiful no matter what.â
He starts thrusting long, deep strokes into you. He lets one hand stick to your hip, and the other has a gentle grip on your jaw to keep your head in place. His thumb traces your bottom lip, and in an instant your tongue latches to it. It draws it in, getting it so your lips close around it and suck on it as your tongue lathers it. Your eyes shut, and you hum happily like you are savoring the musk from his skin. It enraptured him, making him pick up the pace, hips starting to slam against you.Â
Heâs on the cusp of his release. He doesnât want this end, not by a long shot. But tonight will become tomorrow. A new day will start where the stresses of his mission will come to light. All he can do is savor this last little bit of happiness and hope sometime soon he will wake up with you by his side.
âLo, Iâm close,â you grunt out.
He takes his soaked thumb, bringing it down to your bundle of nerves. âIâll get you there, baby. Cum whenever you are ready.â
He swirls your clit at an easy pace, a contrast to how he is slamming into you. He is battering into your pussy, hitting that spot he knows all too well. Your moans grow louder, more accustomed to his hard hitting movements. The sounds of wet slapping with moaning and grunting fill the room, and with the slightest bit of added pressure to your clit he gets you there; right where he wants you.
Your back is arching off the bed, nails finding purchase on his thighs. Your moans are breathless, the wind knocked out as he continues the fast pace of his hips. He looks down where the two of you are connected, watching the white fluid flow down between your ass and drip onto the bed. He can smell it and something snaps in his brain where he wants more.Â
He can tell you are coming down from your high, but he isnât having any of that. His length stills, fully seated in you, and starts rutting the tip against your g-spot.Â
âFuck, itâs too much,â you cry out. âLogan, please!â
âI got you, pretty girl. Just need you to cum on my cock one more time.âÂ
You nod, and he pushes his hips harder, and it isnât long before you are wailing with another release. This sets him off again, and he pulls almost fully out before pistoning his cock in and out rapidly as he prolongs your orgasm. You are wailing his name, and he can see tears falling down the sides of your eyes from how good he was making you feel. He is on top of a hill about to roll down, and before he releases, he pulls out.Â
Your legs try to shut, but his thighs prevent it. He takes two fingers and sticks them into your cunt to continue riding your release out. His other hand fists his cock over your stomach, and with a growl he is cumming in ropes. White paints your tummy until itâs pooling down into your belly button, drenching the skin and making it sheer. He is breathing heavy, orgasmic bliss fading into something more peaceful. He sees you are on the same boat, chest going up and down. It isnât until he hears a sob crash out from your lips and more tears forming that he snaps out of his daze.
âBaby, whatâs wrong?â He is urgent as he gets off the bed, getting closer to you from the side of the bed. His hands are immediately on your face, thumbs wiping away the new droplets trailing down.Â
âIâm sorry,â you choke, staggered breaths coming from you with a mixture of sobs in between. âIâm okay. It was just a lot.â
âIâm so sorry, sweetheart. I got carried away.â He goes to kiss the apples of your cheeks where the tears have stained, before standing up fully. âLet me get you cleaned, okay?â
He turns to go get a towel from the bathroom when he feels your hand wrap around his wrist, stopping him completely.Â
âIt was a lot, but in a good way.â
He goes to kneel on the ground beside the bed, hands going to yours to kiss your knuckles. âAre you sure you are okay? I wouldnât dream of hurting you,â he murmurs into your skin.Â
âLogan, I have never experienced pleasure like that before,â you say hiccuping, causing a laugh to bubble out after. âI never thought I could experience something like that with someone ever.â
It dawns on him that this is technically your first time with him, meaning once the future sets to the right course, this moment will become the first time he made love to you. His mind goes back to the very first time, both coming back from a night out with a need so deep that it was said and done too quickly. This time, he got to cherish you. He got to make your first time with him feel special and adored. It is surreal, and it is everything.Â
âWhy are you crying?â He hears you whisper, a hand escaping his grip to wipe away his own tears.
He didnât even realize it, but he didnât care. He didnât hide it. He lets you wipe them away, mirroring how he tended to yours. âIâm happy. Happier than I have been in a long time.â
He brings his head down to kiss your lips, a light peck that leads to a few more on your face. A giggle leaves your lips, and he swears his face grew more wet.Â
He looks to see the cum starting to dry on your skin, and he places one more kiss before standing up. âLet me get you cleaned up, and we can rest for a while.â
He rushes to the bathroom, steps heavy, and emerges with a warm, wet towel. He sits on the edge of the bed, taking the fabric to your heat to clean the fluids lingering. He is gentle, not wanting to rub the towel anywhere thatâs still sensitive to the touch. He kisses your knees and the inside of your thighs, the fabric now on your tummy as he wipes you clean. Your skin is cleared of any fluids, and with one last kiss to your flesh he pulls away.Â
He tosses the towel into the sink before going to the other side of the bed, pulling the sheet and comforter back to get under. He reaches over to you, pulling you into him as he adjusts the blanket from under you. He settles with you on his chest, just like you were earlier, with the bedding now over your forms. You snuggle up to him, your fingers twirling around the hair on his chest. His fingers brush through your hair, admiring the afterglow you are giving, and thinking about how lucky he is right now.
You are his baby. His life. His soul. He was miserable without you, but he didnât realize how bad off he was until now. Having you back in his arms, even for a moment, made his soul come to life. It had been rendered useless when it was severed, and now his sense of purpose is strong. The love he is feeling in this room wraps around him snuggly, and he doesnât want to leave its embrace.Â
Your left hand pokes out from in between your bodies, and his free hand goes to twiddle with the fingers. He thinks about how big his hands are compared to yours. His whole fist could cover the entirety of your hand, yet your hands are on the rougher side like his. There are some calluses from what he assumes is drumming. They form along the top of your palm where your fingers connect. He stops where your ring finger lies, and he subconsciously sighs.
He remembers how Storm had helped him find a ring for you. You had said how you would love anything he chose because it was from him. However, he wanted it to be a ring that made a statement for his love. He wanted a ring where every time you looked at it, you would know how much he adored you.Â
He thinks about how back in the future, it is still around his neck like a virtue. It makes him wonder if in the near distant future, when things become sane and good, if he will still have that ring. Will he, who may become a different man after he returns, have the guts to propose to you? He regrets so much, but that is something he regrets greatly. Not proposing before the world fell apart. Not proposing to let you know that he is ready to take the next step, and to let you know he is committed to you even past the point of death. Death do us part doesnât apply to you or him.Â
âWhatâs on your mind?â
He looks down to see you looking up at him, a smile forming on his lips as he takes you in. âJust thinking about how I could go for a cigar right now.â
You smacked his chest, making him grunt out a chuckle. âIâm guessing thatâs a common occurrence after these kinds of things.â
âThat or we go for round two,â he smirks, laughing as you smack his chest again.
âHorndog,â you mumble into his side.Â
âA horndog for you, baby.â He goes to kiss you again but then he hears rapid knocking on their door.
âAre you two decent?â Hank asks loudly from behind the door. âThis is urgent!â
âJust come in, Hank.â Logan pulls the covers further up on you, a slight possessiveness taking over as Hank comes in. Your body is for his eyes only.Â
He thought Hank may feel a little embarrassed seeing the two of you like this, but there is none of that. Hank marched over; any social cues forgotten as he sat on the edge of the bed.Â
âListen, bub, what could possibly be so urgent that you are sitting on the bed I just fucked my girl silly on?â
âLogan!â You scowl.
Hank rolls his eyes. âRaven is going to Washington. Trask is going to be at the White House tomorrow, and she plans to strike. We need to leave tonight.â
âWhat is happening at the White House?â Logan asked, sitting up on his elbows.
Hank shakes his head in a way that tells Logan it isnât for anything good. âThey are presenting the Sentinel Program tomorrow.â
âOh God,â you mutter. âTrask is already that far along? Does that mean they could be unleashed sooner?â
Logan shutters at the thought. The idea of the Sentinels starting their massacre whole decades earlier makes him uneasy. It scares him. He wonders if this means things are now going to be worse than they already were, which is hard to imagine. He doesnât want to imagine it.Â
He wishes he had more time. He doesnât know when he will get to be like this with you again. It could feel like a matter of seconds, minutes, hours, days. He could wake up to a world where you and him donât coincide. But at the end of the day, he needs to pull through for you and everyone else. His main priority is that he wakes up to a world where everyone is alive.
This is his last chance.
âAlright, weâll get up and get stuff together.â Logan says, and with that Hank gets up with a nod.
As he makes his exit, Logan starts to get up, but not before he feels your arms wrapping around his torso trying to pull him back.
âSweetheart, we need to get up,â Logan says softly, not wanting to disturb the peace in this room. Not wanting to unveil their reality.
âJust a few more minutes,â you wager. âIâll freeze time if that means I can stay like this for a few more minutes.â
He canât deny you. God, he canât. He lays back down to his original state, and before he can help himself the words are out in the open.
âI love you.â
You didnât respond, and thatâs okay. He already knows you love him too.
The White House; Washington D.C.
âYes, I am with the marine band.â
âYou are late, Sergeant. Get into position with the others.â
âYes sir!â
You move past the metal detectors, jogging towards the rest of the marine band members. There was an empty spot where the snare lies and you get into position, harness going over your shoulders. You fall into play, Stars and Stripes Forever sounding throughout the set up.
Itâs perfect really. You are in the best position to see everything. You will be able to see Trask, the President, and other high ranking officials. If things fall into complete disarray, you will shift the time backward and have a complete do over. In the meantime, the guys will look for Raven before she can strike.
It was a string of luck thanks to Charlesâs willingness to use his powers again. Hank had told you he had a change of heart, and while you had no proof of what convinced him, you had a feeling it had to do with the man who completely bared his soul to you last night.
Just the thought makes you blush. You arenât one to let someone you barely know in your bed, giving yourself to them completely. Youâve been there, done that, and it never stuck or felt right. With Logan, it felt different. There is a bond between you both thatâs inexplicably there. You have felt it from the start, and it was only confirmed after last night. The way he took care of you, made love to you; you could feel the love he felt for you and while scary to admit, you love him too.
He looks at you like you are the center of his universe. He looks at you like living isnât worth shit unless you are by his side. It pains you but only because whatever happened in his future has scarred him deep. You could feel it in the way he kissed you, and left marks on your body. He was trying to convince himself that he wasnât dreaming; that you were there.Â
You donât know what will happen after today, but what you do know is you will find him. You will find him, learn every detail about him until he is like a second skin, and love him like he deserves. You will make sure of it.
You look towards the metal detectors and see them passing through. You see Logan look in your direction, a smile shining towards you that you mirror right back. He looks you up and down, sending a wink your way before turning back to Charles and once again your face feels hot. His effect on you is absolutely outstanding.Â
You can see Charles scanning the crowd, undoubtedly looking for Raven amongst the thousands of people. You keep your eyes on him, reading his expressions as he continues lurking. You arenât sure what time it is but itâs only a matter of time before President Nixon makes his speech. Even then, that doesnât mean Raven wonât strike before that.
âI havenât found Raven yet. Be prepared.â
You felt Charles rattling in your brain. You look in his direction to see everyone looking towards you and you nod to signal the message was clear.
The conductor cuts off the song, signaling the event is about to start. You focus your attention to the stage, looking for any kind of sign of Raven. Everything seems pristine, Secret Service covered at every point.Â
âLadies and Gentlemen!â You hear someone speak through the microphone on the podium. Your attention goes to the man, someone from Nixonâs advisory team surely, standing before everyone. âIt is my utmost pleasure to welcome Mr. President Nixon!â
You see the conductor wave his baton, signaling to start playing, and quickly you are rolling your sticks once the first beat drops. You watch, trying to look in your peripherals for anything weird, before you hear a gunshot.
Your eyes snap to the stage, and you see Trask lying there with a bullet to his head. People are losing their minds, standing erratically to get away from whoever the shooter was. You drop your drumsticks, quickly snapping your fingers to stop the commotion. Everything freezes, and you take the opportunity to walk away from your post. You make observations, needing to be quick, and it doesnât take long for you to see Raven. Or at least make the assumption that itâs her.
You see she transformed into a man from the Secret Service. The gun has since been lowered and you can see two other Secret Service officials running to tackle. You walk to look at the manâs face, and it makes your lips purse slightly.
She is smiling. There is genuine joy in what she just did. Before time froze over, it was obvious she saw the other men coming to take her down, but she didnât care. You see it in her face: she won. It didnât matter what happened afterwards. She saved her kind, your kind.Â
Except she didnât, and thatâs what kills you as you look at her. Her actions kill so many, and leave so many people without their loved ones. Your future livelihood is dismantled by the Sentinels, so deep down you understand Ravenâs hatred for Trask. You hate him too, but you believe all will come to the light. Trask will get his due diligence, and hopefully itâs something worse than death.
Humiliation. Defunding his work. Life behind bars. For a man like him, death would be too easy.
You pass her, heading towards the rest of the group. You get to Loganâs side, and release a breath you didnât know you needed to release. You lift your arms up and move them down slowly. As they descend, time rolls back like itâs a moveable force. People that swarmed like ants are back in their seats, high security are back at their stations, the President makes his way back behind the stage, and Trask is back on his feet. Your hands clenched tight, holding everything in place before releasing and things continue on completely reset.
You lean down to Charles, making sure he hears you clearly. âSheâs right there to the left of the stage. Act fast.â
Charles looks in that direction, focusing with an urgency as he sets his sights on Raven. You watch the scene unfold again, and see how Raven goes to pull the gun from her jacket but she halts. You see her grow stiff, and her lips move like she is talking to someone.Â
âIâve got her,â Charles says with relief. âI can only hold her for so long.â
âYou two go get her,â Hank says as he gets behind Charles. âHe is right. Charles is still not as strong as he was before. You both need to be quick.â
You nod and the two of you start trekking over to where Raven is. The President is talking, but itâs muddled as you focus. The two of you walk slowly, but with urgency, not wanting to cause any alarm that would halt any progress. That didnât matter, however, because right as you two are on her, a Secret Service agent is in front of you both.
âIâm sorry, but this is as far as you two can go.â He has his hands raised in front of him to prevent any further steps.Â
âBehold! The world will never be the same againâŚâ The National Anthem kicks in, and you turn to see the American flag drop. What you see makes your jaw drop.Â
Eight large robots. They couldnât be more than twenty feet tall. Hell, it looks like they could stomp the average person out. The sheer size of them makes you uneasy, knowing what they can and will do makes your stomach churn.Â
âIs that what they look like?â You say quietly, your back now pressed against Loganâs front.
âThis is just the start.â Logan's right hand grabs yours, squeezing tightly. âBut we can change that.â
You squeeze back just as tight, hoping it conveys that you are with him. âLet me stop the time so you can get her.â You go to snap your fingers, but Logan squeezes your hand again as if to hold off.Â
âWhat?â
âDo you hear that?â He yells over the cheers. âSomethingâs coming.â
Logan keeps looking around, and in his search is when you see something moving from the corner of your eye. You turn, and a lump starts forming in your throat.
âGood GodâŚâ
It is clockwork with how things evolved. The Sentinels, with their yellow eyes and shiny polymer, are no longer on their feet. They are in the air, carefully looking down on the crowd like they are Gods. They look so much bigger off the ground, and it unsettles you to no end.Â
You see Trask and the Major talking, a look of frustration on the scientist's face. It confuses you because he is the one that has control over the giants. However, your question is answered when the sun seems to go away and only shadows linger in the shape of a ring. Rubble and debris fall from the sky, and once you look up you couldnât believe what you were seeing.
A whole fucking stadium. Rows and rows of seats and cement foundation floating in the sky. It moves over the White House like a storm, slowly but surely coming with impending coverage. It is only as the inner circle enters your vision that you see Erik, carrying the weight of it like it was nothing.
The Sentinels rise higher, going up towards the floating anomaly as it surrounds it. You think for a second that maybe they were activated because they detected the threat. However, as you watch them reach the top, taking places like they are guarding a post with arms drawn, you know it wasnât anyone commanding them from the ground, but from the sky.Â
âHoly shit ErikâŚâ you whisper to yourself, some disbelief edged into your voice. Erik was a powerful mutant, that you knew, but this? This was next level.
âIâm getting Raven!â
Before you can say anything, Logan is running to tackle Raven down, but it doesn't matter. The minute he is on his feet, bullets are raining from the sky in droves.Â
âLogan, get back!â You yell, running to pull him back before the mass array of bullets hit him.
âIâll be fine! I can take them!â Logan yells over the madness of crowds flocking away. âWe need to get her!â
âLook around!â You grab his shoulders, shaking them. âIt doesnât matter if we get her now. We need to get Erik and we canât if we are both down!â
You donât wait for him to answer, dragging him to rubble that had made its way to the ground. You look around it, trying to get eyes on Charles and Hank before the ground shakes. Logan has his arms around you, covering your body with his to protect it from any kind of blow.Â
Itâs quiet for a moment as the dust settles. You peep out again, trying to locate the other two again. The field was a ghost town, the crowd able to escape before the stadium trapped them in. The President, Trask, and others were gone, assuming they went into some sort of hiding place that only they know about. It is only then that you realize Raven is no longer to be seen, which makes you think she went into hiding⌠with them.
âOh noâŚâÂ
âWhat?â Logan whispers, his eyes trained elsewhere.
âI think Raven is with Trask.â
âUnfortunately, I think we have a bigger fucking problem now.â Logan curses with eyes unmoving.
You look to see where he is staring, and you see Erik walking towards the White House before stopping. His hands go out in front of him, moving them like he is scanning for something.
You feel something in your mind move, and you gasp when you hear the voice in your head. âCharles?â
âMy dear, we are running out of time.â You hear Charles echo in your head. âIf you or Logan can get Erikâs helmet off of him, I can stop him.â
âOkay, on it.â You turn in Loganâs hold, back now against the rubble. âWe need to get the helmet off him. I will stop time while you grab it.â
âSounds easy enough,â Logan grunts, crouching in front of you.Â
âAlright, here we go.â You focus all your energy on your surroundings before snapping your fingers. Your fists are secured, and you look at Logan before nodding his way. âGo on.â
He goes to get up but stops for a second before coming back down. His lips are on yours, a long peck before releasing you. Youâre stunned, not expecting such a romantic gesture. âIâll be back for you, baby.â
Heâs off, running towards Erik. You watch as he makes it up to him, carefully removing the helmet and putting it under his arm. He is on his way back, holding the helmet close as he gets back to where you stood. You both crouch back down, and you unclench your fists letting time continue its course.Â
âCharles, heâs all yours,â you say with the hope he can hear you.
Itâs quiet for only a moment when you hear something heavy fall to the ground. You hear a yell, one that sounded exactly like Charles, and you shoot up. You see some particles in the air to your right, steel and concrete a heap on the ground. You see brown hair, and then you see Hank, fully in his true blue form, trying to lift the heavy weight off of Charles. Panic sets in, not really sure how bad the damage is but it stirs you to stand up and release the alarming catharsis that bubbles to the surface.
âCharles!â You scream, your fight or flight response taking the former as you run towards them. You sense Logan right behind you, following your trail as you approach the mess. You almost make it, ready to stop time again but then you feel something graze your arm and then a stretch of pain that takes you out.
You fall with a grunt, holding your left arm as you curse to yourself. Blood is making its way down your arm, and you work to put pressure on it but it continues to seep through the cracks of your fingers. Shit, shit, shit!
You hear more bullets go off towards you, and your heart is in your throat as you expect to be battered, but they donât come. They donât come because Logan is in front of you, body jerking as he works to pick you up as wounds form from his back.Â
âHoly shit, Logan!âÂ
âHold on!â He seethes in pain, holding you close as he gets you both behind another pile of rubble.Â
You both have your backs to the scene unfolding, but you know there isnât much time to stay here. With haste, you unbuckle your belt, flinging it out of the jean loops and wrapping it below the bullet wound. Your teeth sink into the leather, pulling it tightly before securing it.Â
You look over at Logan, who is surrounded by the pellets he pushed out from his back. He grunts as one more falls to the ground behind him, and he turns to you with an alertness youâve become all too familiar with.
âAre you okay?â You ask stupidly, because of course he is.
He doesnât answer at first, looking at you and then looking back at the destroyed lawn. It causes you to look too, and you can see Hank clobbering one of the Sentinels as he yanks out its wiring. But heâs outnumbered and itâs only a matter of time before they gang up on him.Â
âWe need to help Hank,â you say, getting ready to stand up before Loganâs hand grabs you by your jean loops.
Loganâs hands are on your face, holding it still as to keep your focus on him. There is conflict in the way he looks at you; a conflict that says you wonât agree with what heâs about to do next. You can read him so easily, and what you are reading makes you uneasy.
âNo, LoganâŚâÂ
âSweetheart, I need you to stay right here.â His eyes are saying so much more in relation, telling you why heâs asking you this. You know he has lost too much, and to lose it all before itâs even started isnât in the cards for him. Still, you canât help the stubbornness that begs to fight with him.
âIâm not leaving you defenseless out there.âÂ
âThen defend us from here,â Logan says firmly, mind unchanging. âI will not lose you here. I am not going back to a future where you donât exist.â
Itâs quiet for a second, words processing in your head. You knew he loved you, but to see it run so deep at his declaration made you want to cry. How is it a man that you havenât known for long, can have such an effect on you? How is it that a part of him already runs so deeply inside you? It leaves you with the conclusion that if you are feeling all of this after a few days, then what he must be feeling is tenfold after a lifetime.Â
Your hands go to his face, mirroring him as you two stare at each other. Heâs waiting for you to accept what he is asking, eyes moving back and forth slightly like he is trying to read your response. You sigh deeply, swallowing the pill he wants you to take before you pull him down to your lips to seal your acceptance.Â
He grunts in surprise, but shortly after melts against you. Itâs a kiss molded into words, one that says âthank youâ and in kind says âIâll see you after this is all overâ. Itâs a kiss that says even when there truly is no time left, there is always time for this, for you, for him.
You pull away, eyes watering as you look at the man who will ultimately become your world and your savior in ways you canât begin to fathom. You give him one more good look, one more stroke of your thumbs against his facial hair, before dropping your hands to surrender.Â
âYou come back to me safe,â you assert. âI will do as much as I can from here.â
Logan responds by kissing your lips again, placing three quick kisses in succession before standing up to run off towards the mess. You peek over from your hiding spot, and you see two of the Sentinels on the ground in its robotic guts. You hear Hank roaring to your left, seeing him fly to the ground onto his back. The Sentinel he was fighting approaches, armed and ready to fire.Â
You clench your teeth as you put your arms out, the wounded one shooting signals to your brain that it aches terribly. However, you push through, focusing on the Sentinels mechanics and the timely energy around it. You watch it slowly come to a stop, and you see Hank look your way before you nod your head to tell him to get the job done.
You watch him spring into action, hands digging into the skull before ripping the head off. You let go, with the Sentinel now inactive, and turn to see Logan with his claws out digging into the chest of another one. His clawed fists go in and out over and over, the automaton down.Â
You go back and forth between Hank and Logan, ensuring them the time they need to defend themselves safely. Itâs a smooth rhythm, and you think things are going well, but then you see Erik appear a few feet away from Logan with metal pieces floating in the air. You go to stop Erik in his tracks, but then you hear running in your direction.Â
âRun!â You hear Hank yell, and you turn to see him sprinting away from two Sentinels.Â
âShit!â You curse, and in the blink of an eye you are running with him, bullets hot on your trail.
You run with purpose, dodging whatever the Sentinels sent your way, but your attention was focused on Logan, who was cutting away at any metallic pieces Erik threw at him. It was a dance, every step forward meant a step back, and from what you were witnessing Logan was the better dancer. However, Erik has always been good at catching up.
The Sentinels are gaining ground, and you knew something had to give. They were doing what they were created for, and they wouldnât stop now, not at this rate. You look at Hank as you both push on, and he looks back at you as he feels your eyes on him.
âWe need to split off!â You yell at him. âYou go towards that car over there, and Iâll go the opposite way.â
You both diverge, running away from one another in the hopes of confusing the Sentinels. You donât hear bullets in your space anymore, but it causes you to look and see Hank surrounded. You go to stop them, but then a gasp shoots from your lungs as you feel metal wrap around your wrists. Next thing you know, you are hanging in the air.
You are thrashing, wrists bound tightly. You see Erik approaching you, and you panic but not because he is approaching you. Itâs because you donât see Logan.
Fuck, whereâs Logan?
âIâm sorry, my little timelord,â Erik says with a hint of an actual apology. âThis is what happens when you donât choose a side.â
âI did what was best for me. No one else,â you grit out. You can feel blood start to trickle down your arm, the stretch opening your wound further.
âI guess youâll see how that turns out for you.â Erik sets you onto the ground with a thud, and suddenly you feel metal coil around your neck. You start to feel the pressure against your throat, making your eyes bulge.
âNo need to be scared, my dear. Just need you out of the picture for a few hours.â Your airways are getting crushed. Your hands are desperately trying to remove themselves from the makeshift cuffs, but to no avail.Â
The coughing fits start, lungs eager for some relief, but they cry out when none comes. Itâs strange to feel your lifespan waning, yet have your mind linger elsewhere.
Please be okay. God, please let Logan be safe.
As if your prayers were answered, you hear him in the distance. You can hear him shouting your name, and you ache at the sound. You are relieved, yet there is a sadness that sticks in your foggy brain. It almost makes you think that soul bonding is an actual force within the universe because you can tell what he is feeling. You can tell he feels like he is witnessing your death a second time.Â
The bondage of metal weakens, air filling your lungs at full capacity. Your hands automatically go to your throat, rubbing the raw skin as you inhale and exhale. Your bearings are dispersed, and you work to gather all the pieces so you can see what is happening. It isnât until you hear Logan yelling in pain, followed by grunts that rip from his gut, that you shoot up. Your eyes focus and what you see burns your chest as you let out a scream that processes faster than your mind can.
Metal rods pierce Loganâs body, curling into his legs and up his chest. They enter and exit like thread, and his facial expression is one of agony. His head turns towards you, his eyes screaming for you to look away and to run and never look back. However, your fears, your anger, your love for him is overcoming and it doesnât take long for you to snap.
Your body screams as you move to your knees and throw your arms up, the aches telling you to stop wearing yourself further. Your power is straining, but your emotions are fueling the fire. No amount of pain will ever amount to the pain of losing Logan.Â
You slam your fists to the ground, a ricochet from the impact spreading. Time stops in motion, the waves of your power spreading and catching everything in its wake. The pain increases, but you donât care about that. You only care about Logan.
Everything is still aside from Loganâs body shakes. You run to him, falling to your knees to get closer. Your energy is depleting as you hold onto time, making your mind race to figure out what to do to help him. Your hands keep going to touch the rods, but back away every time he shudders with discomfort.
âLogan, tell me what to do,â you plead. âTell me what I need to do to get these out.â
âFuckâŚâ Logan is working his jaw, seemingly trying to calm himself down. âTry pulling on one.â
You nod, placing both hands on a rod buried in his back. You counted down from three, and with a deep breath you pulled as hard as you could. The second Logan started yelling though, you let go.
âShit! Please stop!â Logan shouts, the metal rods excruciating.
âLogan, we need to get these out of you please.â You were starting to sob; your hands running over his neck and face to try and soothe him.
âSweetheart, please,â Logan grunts, trying not to move too much. âI promise you this wonât kill me.â
âBut you are suffering,â you whisper, tears staining your face as new ones form. âI can hold this just please. You have to push them out or something.â
Something changes in Loganâs face, a sense of realization as you watch his eyes widen. A broken laugh leaves his lips, eyes glossing. âI finally understand.â
âW-what?â You stutter.
âI desperately wanted to save you, and I couldnât. You had begged me not to, and I couldnât fathom it.â He starts to cough, groans filling the cracks. âBut I understand now. Iâm sorry for not understanding before.â
âPlease donât,â you choke. âThat doesnât matter. What matters now is getting these out of you.âÂ
Your hands go to the rods again, but his hand grabs yours before you make contact. You are sure you look pitiful, especially as you arenât one to beg. You guess when feelings get so strong, it doesnât matter. Your heart is fully on your sleeve for Logan to see, and what you are showing is reflected in his pretty, glossy, hazel eyes.Â
âI need you to promise me something, sweetheart,â Logan says gently. âI need you to promise me that you will find me.â
âWhere? Where will I find you?â Your voice wavers, unable to keep your emotions at bay.Â
âYou know I canât say, baby.â Loganâs hand squeezes yours, trying to be reassuring. âBut you have before. I know you will find me again.â
You donât know what to think of that. It could be years before you find him. Will it be right before the world goes to shit? Will it be in a decade or two from now? How can you go on living your life as normal when you donât know when you will find him? Or how can you live knowing he isnât right beside you?
âDonât overthink this. Everything will be okay.â
You sniffle as you look at him, a tired smile on his face. A small laugh passes through your sobs. âNot very in character for you to be optimistic.â
âAnd it will be the last time you see me so optimistic for a long time,â Logan smirks. âBut you can change that.â
You get on your stomach, moving so your face is level with his and kiss him one last time. Itâs bittersweet, tasting him on your tongue. You hope you are conveying the answer he is looking for, one that tells him you promise to move heaven and earth for him. One that tells him you promise you are his, and no one will ever have you for as long as you both live. A promise that tells him you will find your way home to him, and you will bring him home to you.
You let go, breath wavering as you know what you are about to witness. Even with his reassurance, it will be hard to watch, and you know the tears will fall. It is inevitable.
âBaby, go find Charles. Make sure he is okay and stick with him. Once you find him, let me go.â
You nod, pecking his lips one more time before getting up to your feet. You look at him, taking in every detail that imprints your memory, making sure to never forget that the man before you is your soulmate for life.
âI love you, Logan.â You say with teary eyes.Â
âI love you. Iâll see you soon.â He smiles, before closing his eyes, preparing himself.
You quickly run off, afraid that if you didnât you wouldnât allow yourself to. You run over to the giant terrain of rubble where Charles was, and you see him lying there frozen like everything else. You maneuver into his spot, a tight fit with enough room for you to situate yourself. You look back out onto the field, and you quiver as you see Logan lying there just waiting as he suffers in pain. You look down, eyes squeezing tight before you snap your fingers, a heavy weight off your shoulders as you suck in a deep breath.
âOh darling, when did you get in here?â
You open your eyes to see Charles, breathing heavier than usual as he lays in discomfort. You work to prop him up, holding onto him so he can sit up right. It is at that moment you hear yelling, and you look back out to see Logan in the air with Erik holding his metallic weight. You want to look away, unable to bear the sight, but they stay glued to them. Then, you see Erik flex his fingers.
As you watch Logan fly away, your lungs urge a cry to curl out into the atmosphere, but you suppress it. After everything, you have faith in him. He gave you the faith you needed to believe everything will turn out alright. Even as you watch Erik yank the bunker up from the ground and out the White House, you have faith that the future will be safe, because you wonât let Logan down. You have a promise to keep.
Logan has become your Orion; your guiding star. He has become your alpha and your omega. He is your sole mission in this life, and he is not a mission you plan to fail.
You will set things right, and you will find him.Â
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY; Year 2023
The first time ever I saw your faceâŚ
Music. Soft, calming music enters his conscience. Heâs heard this melody before in the same fashion, but that was forever ago, right?Â
I thought the sun rose in your eyesâŚ
Logan stirs, his brain doing a leap and a jump from REM sleep as it tries to wake up. He has lived this moment before, as the music says he has. Is he back to where he started? Or is it something else?
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gaveâŚ
Where is he? The last thing he remembers was drowning. Metal pierced his body so deep he could taste it with freshwater. It should linger, but it doesnât. He doesnât taste anything abnormal. Heâs on a bed. Did someone save him? Whose bed is this?Â
To the dark and the endless skiesâŚ
His eyes open, sunlight shining brightly as they adjust. The room is familiar, and it dawns on him that itâs because it is his room. Their room.Â
He turns to his side slowly, his body still adjusting to whatever the fuck it was heâs waking up to. He sees the little radio on the bedside table, the holographic globe spinning as the words âGolden Oldiesâ glide around it.Â
And the first time ever I kissed your mouthâŚ
Holy shit⌠he did it.Â
Suddenly, the door opens, and nothing could have prepared him.Â
âHey, sleepyhead!â
There you were in all your glory. You were dressed for the day: a tight and long black velvet skirt with a short black sleeve shirt and black combat boots. There are little crow's feet and bunny lines by your eyes and your hair has grown out. He is starstruck, and his heart is threatening to leap out of his chest.
You walked up to him, your legs touching the bed as you looked down at him. âI know I look good. No need to let the flies in.â
Logan shuts his mouth, moving to sit up. There are so many things he wants to say, do. But nothing will come out. All he can do is stare and bumble like an idiot.
âYou know itâs nine, right? You missed your first class.âÂ
His class?
âWhat?â
âDonât worry, Lo. Your students got a little lesson from me about 70s music culture, so they werenât totally out of a history lesson.â You say with a wink.
He doesnât respond, eyes mesmerized as you walk over to the desk, putting away folders from what he assumes was the previous class.
âCan you believe these kids know nothing about the Ramones? Or even ELO or Fleetwood Mac? Itâs blasphemous.â You shut the drawer, and go to lean back against the desk, smiling at him.
âIâll get up, baby. Donât you worry about me.â You say in a mock deep voice, pushing yourself off the furniture. âLast night must have really worn you out for you to sleep like the dead.âÂ
You are giggling and Logan is on edge. You are here. You are alive. He was hopeful that would be the case, but to see everything come to fruition was a lot to process.Â
âLo, baby, are you okay?â You are in front of him, moving in between his legs.Â
He canât help himself. He has his arms around your thighs, pulling you onto his lap. His hand secures itself at the nape of your neck, bringing your head down to his so his lips can intercept yours. Your skirt has ridden up, scrunching up at your ass giving Logan the chance to mold his hand into the flesh. He kisses you with ferocity, needing everything from you.
âLogan,â you laughed between his kisses. âI canât believe you want to go again after last night, you dog.â
âYouâre here,â Logan groans against your lips. âMy baby, youâre here.â
âOf course Iâm here. Why wouldnât I be?â Your hands scratch his head, and he simpers as his mouth attaches to your neck, sniffing your pulse point as he keeps you firmly against him. You smell so good, so much so he wants to soak you into his skin.
âYou are acting so strange right now, baby. Are you sure everything is okay?â
Logan lays his head against your chest, listening to your heart flutter away. He could cry listening to it, the comforting sound creating a lullaby that will lull his sore head to rest. Itâs different hearing it now, knowing that when he wakes up once more, you will be here. You will be by his side when he goes to sleep at night, and when he wakes up. He will share every sunset and sunrise with you, something he will never take for granted for even a second.Â
He feels your hands cradling his head, keeping it steady as he starts to rock you in his arms. âWhat are you thinking, Lo?â
He lifts his head to look at you, your eyes full of warmth. You are looking at him with such patience and poise. Your hands are still on his head, and he goes to move them to his temples.Â
âShift my mind.â
âLogan,â you say, taken aback and unsure but he quells your worry with another slow kiss.
âTrust me,â he murmurs against your mouth. âI need you to understand what I am feeling right now.â
He shuts his eyes, hoping you will indulge him and he smiles when he feels the warmth at his temples spread. He thought his mind going back to his last memory of drowning would cause panic, but he is calm. Maybe itâs because you are able to keep him afloat as you rewind what played out.
It is short lived, but soon he feels your hands go down to the scruff of his facial hair. He opens his eyes and he sees the tears welling in your eyes with a smile.Â
âMy God, you did it. You remember,â you choked out. Logan canât help but smother your lips again before kissing your tears away.
âYou did a lot of the heavy lifting, sweetheart.â Logan chuckles against your skin. âBut most importantly,â he pulls away, hands going to your face to make sure you understand how sincere he is. âYou found me. Just like you promised me.â
âI said I would,â you say through tears. âI was determined to find you. To share this life with you.â
This life. A life with all the good things and even the bad ones. A life that he gets to live with you. This new life: a second chance. With this second chance, he isnât going to waste it.Â
âClose your eyes,â Logan says with a peck.
You shut them, and he carefully sets you on the bed for him to stand up. He rushes to the bookshelf, hoping that in this new timeline he was smart enough to have gotten the one thing that showed complete and utter devotion. Even more so, he hopes he hid it where he originally had.Â
He finds the royal blue spine, pulling it out to open to the first few pages before the hole within the book is revealed. His lips turn with a quiver, seeing the ring just as it was before. He picks it up, holding it out in the sunlight to watch the diamond sparkle and the gold ban shine. Itâs simple but you were never one for extravagant things. After a life of running free, you wanted the simple life and that is exactly what he will give you.
He walks back around the bed, getting on his knees to settle between your legs as he spreads them. Your skirt rode up again and he canât help but kiss your left thigh and give the other a squeeze. The sweetest noise comes from you, and it only makes him nip at the skin.Â
âGod, you are such a tease.â
âI canât resist,â he hums before lifting his head. He holds out the ring and with care takes your left hand in his right.Â
âGo ahead and open those pretty eyes for me.âÂ
He watches your eyes flutter open, a gasp falling from your lips when your eyes fall onto his palm. Your fingers instinctively went to it, and Logan held it more towards you to let them grace the ring.Â
âIâve thought about how Iâve wanted to do this so many times,â Logan starts. âSo much so that I pushed it off until it was too late. I will not make that same mistake twice.â
âLogan,â you say with your fingers trailing to his face, as if telling him nothing is his fault. He knows.
âI know I have so much to catch up on and learn. There will be things I am not aware of. You may be different, and I may be different,â He takes the ring and your left hand, holding it near but not quite enacting the officiality. âBut the one thing that will never change is how you will always be at the forefront of my mind because I am nothing without you. At the end of the day, I want to come home to you as your husband and you as my wife if you will have me.â
This is such a vulnerable moment, and there was a time where it would eat him up alive. However, being right here with you, proposing to you in this shared room under the light of the morning, encourages him like nothing else. Vulnerability with you gives him strength.
You are biting your lip, eyes watering again as you nod your head profusely. âPut that ring on my finger, handsome.â
He slides the ring onto your ring finger, settling into place perfectly. You held it up, and he watched as you admired the piece, the sparkle of the diamond reflecting in your eyes. It sparks you to look back at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and he notices you shift until your lower body pushes him onto the floor. Your arms bring him in, his head meeting yours as lips reconnect once more.
âI love you so much, Logan. I am truly the luckiest woman alive.âÂ
All he can think is if you were the luckiest woman, then he is the luckiest man. One decision could have led to a world in which you didnât exist or one where you two would just be specks living completely different lives. To have woken up in a new world, one thatâs more promising, is luck after the hell he had experienced. Having you here in his lap, kissing him like he is the center of your universe, makes him weep with joy.Â
You are his world, and in this new life, rather than the world stopping, it continues to spin forward.
#THANK YOU SO MUCH SAMMY WOWOWOWOWOW#truly is an honor đđ#thank you for loving my fic it really is one of my favorites to have written
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OH MY GOD???????
for always and ever is always for you
old man!logan x healer!reader
word count: 15.2k
summary: logan is getting sicker by the day, and charles' seizures are occurring more and more frequently. logan didn't think he'd ever see you again - but desperate times call for desperate measures.
warnings/tags: 18+ only mdni, smut, descriptions of blood and illness, angst, logan's pov, reader is afab, language, slow burn as far as one-shots go, no use of y/n, caliban being sassy, mutual pining, friends to lovers, unprotected p in v, oral (m&f receiving), face sitting, cream pie, some dirty talk and pet names
author's note: thank you @embbarnes for reading this and letting me rant about it and assuring me that it's worth posting đŤśđť this took me an embarrassing amount of time and i have to say i am pretty proud of it. flashbacks are in italics
divider by @saradika-graphics!
âThis is the third time in the last week, you know.â
Logan stares down at the deep red splatters of blood that creep towards the drain. The skin of his knuckles begin to turn white from how harshly he grips the edges of the sink â heâs surprised the ceramic doesnât shatter. He turns the faucet on, lowering his lips to the weak stream to collect enough water to rinse the taste of iron from his mouth.
âI know that,â Logan spits the now pink tinged water into the bowl and then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. âYou donât think I fuckinâ know that? Iâm the one hacking my lungs up here.â He shoves past Caliban, exiting the small bathroom.
Logan doesnât want to snap at him â hates that it happens as often as it does. But right now heâs late for work and the last thing he needs is to hear Caliban harping on about this again while he scrambles to find his car keys.
âYou know I hate to keep bringing this up,â Caliban continues as he follows Logan into the makeshift kitchen of the abandoned smelting plant.
âI find that hard to believe,â Logan mumbles under his breath. He finds his keys hidden under some junk mail and shoves them in his coat pocket before pouring himself some coffee to take with him to work. Itâs day old and not as strong as heâd like for it to be, but heâll be glad that he has it when midnight rolls around.
âCharles,â Caliban continues. âThe medications are doing very little to help him anymore. Weâre having to give him twice as much as we were a month ago, which means we are running out twice as fast. Heâs getting worse. You both are. We need to find a⌠specialist that can help with both of our problems.â
Logan snorts in response, practically able to feel Calibanâs eyes burning holes in the back of his head.
âThere ainât a thing that any doctor can do for me and you know it.â
Maybe Logan hasnât had the flu, or strep throat, or even the common cold in two hundred odd years, but he knows thereâs no prescription that any physician can write that would stop his very bones from poisoning him.
âLet me rephrase that, then. Not a doctor. You need to see a healer.â
Logan freezes, his posture going rigid.
âIf youâre about to say what I think youâre going to say, I suggest shutting the fuck up.â
âHeâs had a record number of seizures so far this week,â Caliban implores. âYouâre barely standing upright. Thereâs a chance that she could help you both.â
âSheâs out of the question,â Logan spits before storming past him. He yanks the door open and slams it closed behind him as he steps into the late evening Mexico sun.
How does Caliban even know about you? Some of Charlesâ rambling in his rare moments of lucidity, no doubt.
It doesnât matter if you can help or not.
For a lot of reasons, it doesnât matter.
The most obvious one being he hasnât talked to you in over a year and doesnât know where the fuck youâre at.
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
âYou donât have to stay back there, you know. You can come closer. Youâre not in my way.â
Thereâs no hint of condescension in your voice. Only patience, and reassurance. Still, Logan doesnât budge from his position in the corner of the mansionâs infirmary.
You donât press him any further.
He had lost track of how long heâd been standing here, just watching in complete silence as you tend to the young mutantâs injuries.
Logan doesnât even know the kidâs name. He doesnât know any of their names. But heâd been the one to find all five of them in a locked cell on todayâs mission, and he isnât going to leave this room until he knows that they are all okay.
Youâd already taken care of four out of the five. They now rest peacefully in individual beds, no doubt the warmest and safest theyâve been in God knows how long.
Your hands hover a few inches above a young boyâs chest, emitting a pale purple glow as you wave them over his torso, letting your powers radiate from your palms into his body.
Logan notices the color of your power isnât as vibrant as it was when youâd healed the first childâs injuries, or the second, or third. Originally a bright violet, itâs now a lackluster lavender.
He also doesn't miss the way that you suddenly close your eyes with furrowed brows, but he remains in the corner, watching you carefully. You dig your teeth into the flesh of your bottom lip in concentration, causing Logan to take an involuntary step forward at the pained expression on your face.
Your hands drop down to the railing of the bed that the boy lays in, clutching the bars to keep you from falling over as the energy youâd been emitting fades away.
âShit,â you huff, out of breath. A thin layer of perspiration glistens on your forehead.
âWhatâs wrong?â Logan asks as he moves closer to you. âAre you okay?â
âYeah,â you grunt, nodding as you look up at him. You give him a forced smile that does very little to reassure him. âIâm fine. Itâs just been a while since Iâve had to use so much of my powers in such a short amount of time.â
âMaybe you should sit down for a minute, yeah?â Logan looks around the infirmary, walking a few feet away to grab a chair for you. He places it next to the bed that youâre still using for support.
âIâll be as good as new soon,â you assure him as you take a seat. âThis happens occasionally.â
Logan stands beside you, awkwardly leaning against the edge of an empty bed next to the boyâs. He watches as you lean forward, taking the kidâs small hand in your own. Thereâs no resurgence of purple â youâre simply holding it. The boy is sound asleep, so the act makes Logan wonder if itâs for his comfort or your own.
âIf I exert too much energy at once, I feel the effects of it. Not enough to really hurt me, just.. leave me feeling like I need to sleep for a week,â you explain with a weak chuckle. Loganâs eyes are fixated on the way that your thumb soothes over the skin of the boyâs hand.
âA gift that comes with a price,â Logan murmurs. âI know how that feels. Though it sometimes feels more like a curse in my case.â He instinctively glances down at his knuckles, his claws sheathed away.
âI can see how it would feel that way,â you agree, glancing up at him with a soft expression. âBut itâs not what your power is that determines whether itâs a curse or a gift. Itâs what you do with it. And these kids are alive because of you. A lot of people are, because you choose to use it for good. Iâd say that makes it a gift.â
âI guess I should try to look at it that way more often,â he hums.
âPlus, having the ability to heal yourself has gotta be pretty neat. I think youâre the only person here who would never have to ask me for my help.â You glance back up at him, a hint of a smirk ghosting your lips.
Theyâre pretty, he thinks â your lips. He mentally scolds himself, knowing now isnât the time or place to be thinking about your lips.
âYou can count on that, bub.â
When Logan wakes, he doesnât have the chance to mourn the memory heâd found himself reliving in his sleep.
He does find himself on the floor by his bed with the breath knocked from his lungs. His hands come to shield his ears, attempting to block out the high-pitched shrieking that makes his ear canals feel as if they are filling with blood.
Judging by the sunlight streaming into his room through the thin, tattered curtains covering his windows, he guesses that itâs mid-afternoon. He couldnât have been asleep for more than a few hours â meaning it also couldnât have been more than a few hours since he had given Charles his most recent dose of medicine.
With the world shaking around him, a half empty bottle of liquor and an old coffee mug both shatter as they fall off of his bedside table and hit the ground.
Logan and Caliban had recently cleared off all shelves in the smelting plant, moving anything that could potentially fall and break during one of Charlesâ episodes closer to the ground, but after a long night of driving around drunk assholes, itâs easy to forget that even a ceramic cup on a small table is a hazard.
He can tell by the way that the air around him feels as if it weighs ten tons that Charles has to be close by. He musters all of his strength to force himself to his feet. Each movement feels as if heâs in slow motion as he fights against the psionic energy that works to keep him frozen in place.
As slow as if he has hundred pound weights attached to each of his feet, he makes his way from his bedroom and to the common area. When he turns the corner, he first sees Caliban, still as a statue with his facial features contorted in agony and his typically alabaster skin turning redder by the second from the pain. Heâs less than a foot away from where Charles sits in his wheelchair, where he appears to have been watching a movie.
Logan frantically looks around the room, searching for where he had placed the bag of injections and pills when heâd forced Charles into swallowing his last dose just a few hours ago.
He finds it on what is used as a dining room table. Itâs sheer good luck that Logan had thought to prepare an emergency dose of the injection earlier that day, most likely thanks to Calibanâs lecture from yesterday evening still looming in the back of his mind.
After what feels like hours, Logan finally reaches Charles with the injection and plunges the needle into his chest. The second that the medication enters his system, the seizure ceases.
Caliban and Logan both collapse to the ground in relief. Logan clutches his chest, trying to steady his heartbeat and regulate his breathing.
âYou dream of her just as she dreams of you,â Charles whimpers through labored breaths.
âWhat?â Logan snaps, glaring at Charles from his position on the dirty floor. His ears must still be ringing from the effects of the seizure, because he canât have heard him right. âQuit reading my mind.â
âYour thoughts are always loud when you think of her,â Charles murmurs, turning his attention back to the movie on the screen in front of him as if nothing had happened.
It's the first time, Logan realizes, that Charles has mentioned you since the day of his first seizure. Even without specifically saying your name, Logan knows exactly who heâs referring to.
âMake that four incidents this week,â Caliban grumbles as he jerks the plastic bag filled with medication out of Loganâs hand. He digs through it, pulling out a pill bottle and dumping two into his palm. âHeâs averaging an episode per day, and each one feels stronger than the last. Itâs only a matter of time before he killsââ
âDo you know where sheâs at? Can you track her?â Logan interrupts him. Caliban pauses to look at him, visibly annoyed.
âOh, so itâs a good idea now that heââ he jabs a finger in Charlesâ direction, âmentions her once, is it?â He stomps over to where Charles watches the television, seemingly oblivious to the conversation happening right beside him.
âTake these. Both of them.â He shoves them into Charlesâ palm and then storms past Logan.
âDidnât say anything about it being a good idea,â Logan grunts, following him into the kitchen. âBut you seem to think it is and I donât know what else to do. So can you find her or not?â
âOf course I can,â Caliban retorts defensively. âAs long as you have something with her scent on it.â
Logan throws his hands up in frustration, and then rakes one hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.
âI havenât seen her in over a year. Why would I have anything that smells like her?â
âIt doesnât have to be dosed in her favorite perfume,â Caliban huffs. âBut I canât track anyone without some amount of their scent to go off of.â
âGoddammit,â Logan groans between gritted teeth. He turns in the opposite direction, heading back to his bedroom.
He thinks back to the last time that he saw you â the last time that his life had any sense of normalcy. The day of Charlesâ first seizure, the day that he saw seven of his friends die, you werenât there. By some miracle, you had been out of town.
But a few days before that â it had been snowing. It was the first snow of winter and you had taken a group of younger students to play outside in the middle of class.
Logan was called over by a few of the kids who begged him to help make a snowman. You kept to the sidelines, watching him with the students, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself to keep your cardigan pulled securely around your chest.
He remembers pausing what he was doing to run over to you and insist that you take his jacket until you were all back inside. He remembers how much he liked seeing you wear it, and how silly he felt when he didnât like that you remembered to give it back.
He remembers being enveloped in the smell of honey and cream when he shrugged the jacket back onto his own shoulders. Less than a week later, he found himself in Mexico with no need to wear such a heavy leather jacket.
It's now been over a year since heâs so much as touched it.
Logan begins rifling through the drawers of the dresser that looks to be as old as he is, containing all of the clothing that he owns. It doesnât take but a few seconds until he recognizes the feeling of the worn leather against his fingertips.
He brings the jacket up to his nose, inhaling where your skin and hair had rest against the collar. He breathes in deep, concentrating on the scent that transports him back to before his life was completely uprooted and turned upside down. With his eyes closed, itâs easy for him to let himself believe heâs standing in the kitchen of the mansion with your arms around his neck.
It's faint. If he didnât have enhanced senses, he may not have been able to detect it at all. But itâs there â familiar and nostalgic and unmistakably you.
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
It takes Caliban all of sixty seconds to pinpoint your location.
Logan doesnât quite know how to feel about learning that thereâs only one state in-between the two of you. He wasnât sure where he expected you to be, really â it doesnât surprise him that you didnât stay in the state of New York, and he didnât think you would return to your hometown, but knowing that youâve possibly been just a half dayâs drive away from him this entire time makes a lot of emotions surface that heâs been trying to push down for the last year.
He begins the drive just after six in the morning. By the time the sun starts to set that evening, he enters the city limits of Silverton, Colorado.
Nestled in the snow-capped Rockies, the small town couldnât be more polar opposite of where he has resided for the last thirteen months. The stark differences nearly cause him to turn his limousine around and head back to the smelting plant without even bothering you â if youâd chosen somewhere like this to live, thereâs no way youâd be content with the brutal, dry heat of northern Mexico.
But this is the closest heâs been to you in nearly four hundred days, and despite the fact that heâs spent the last ten hours of this car ride thinking about what heâs going to say to you and still doesnât fucking know, he canât bring himself to go back to Mexico without trying.
Without at least seeing your face. Without at least seeing for himself that youâre doing okay.
He knows itâs selfish. He knows he made his choice when he took Charles to Mexico without even letting you know that they were alive. It doesnât matter that he had his reasons for doing so, it doesnât matter how much it killed him inside â he made his choice and he should have to live with it, without disturbing your peace and asking any of this of you.
He justifies it by telling himself that itâs for Charles, and Caliban. Maybe itâs his pride, but he refuses to make his ailing health your responsibility. Asking you to help with Charles is already asking too much.
He turns down a dirt road, following the approximate â not exact â instructions that Caliban had provided. Thankfully, itâs a small town in both size and population, so it doesnât take him too long to find the neighborhood that Caliban had described.
He knows he has found the right house when he sees your car. He recognizes it instantly due to the cracked rear bumper that you still have yet to have replaced and its unique sage green color that peaks through the light dusting of snow.
He pulls into your driveway, parking his limousine next to your vehicle and turns off the engine. He takes in the appearance of your home â a small, cozy cabin with smoke erupting from the chimney. All of your curtains are pulled closed but thereâs enough light peaking through them for him to know that youâre inside.
The thought occurs to him that he might not find you alone. Itâs been over a year â you could have found someone to build a life with. They could pull into this very driveway at any moment. Hell, you could have a baby for all he knows. He might be seconds away from learning that you have a whole family of your ownâ
His thoughts only stop spiraling when he sees your front door swing open, your face peeking around the frame a second later. Confusion is etched across your features as you notice the limousine parked in front of your porch.
You donât yet know that itâs him due to the limousineâs tinted windows, he realizes.
You exit the house, stepping onto your front porch with your arms crossed over your chest as you wait for the driver of the vehicle to make themselves known.
You havenât aged a day. Your hair being longer than the last time he saw you is the only physical proof that any time has passed at all.
Logan attempts to clear his face of all of the emotions coursing through him and opens the driverâs side door, stepping out of the vehicle.
Thanks to the adamantium poisoning his body, his eyesight has started to decline over the last few months. But Logan doesnât need to have his glasses on to know that you look like youâre seeing a ghost.
âHey, sweetheart,â he greets you in a cautious voice. He stays planted where heâs at, waiting for you to respond before coming any closer to the front porch steps.
He swears he watches you go through all five stages of grief in under a minute. Confusion fades to shock, shock turns to denial, and denial morphs into anger before youâre left with a blank expression.
âI know Iâve got a lotta explaining to do,â Logan starts. âIf youâll let me, Iâll answer every question you have. Iâm just asking you to hear me out.â
It takes every ounce of self-restraint that he possesses to not walk up the steps of your porch and wrap you in his arms. He may be standing just a few feet away from you, but it doesnât feel real. Heâs convinced that at any moment, heâll wake up back in his pathetic excuse of a bedroom in the smelting plant.
You take a few small, tentative steps forward. Your eyes never leave his, an unreadable expression on your face. Logan canât tell if youâre trying to decide if heâs real, if youâre about to jump into his arms, or if youâre about to yell at him to get the fuck out of here.
You come to a stop on the bottom porch step.
âWhatâs the deal with the limousine?â You nod towards the vehicle behind him.
âIâm uh â Iâm a limousine driver,â he answers lamely.
âA limousine driver,â you repeat with raised brows, though it doesnât sound like a question. âYou know, there have been a lot of nights that Iâve laid awake wondering where youâre at and what youâre doing. Of all the possibilities, I never considered limo driver.â
Logan opens his mouth to respond, but quickly shuts it again when you turn on your heel, walking back up the steps and to the front door. You pause before you cross the entryway, looking back at him over your shoulder.
âTake your shoes off at the door. Donât be tracking snow into my house.â
Logan watches you retreat into the house, his body frozen in place. As far as initial reactions go, he supposes that could have been significantly worse â but he knows he isnât out of the woods yet.
He follows you inside, kicking his boots off at the door and closing it behind him.
The inside of your house is warm, thanks to the gentle fire going in the fireplace in your den. Itâs cozy â youâve decorated for the approaching holidays. Garland and twinkling lights adorn your mantle, and in the corner of the living room is an elaborately decorated tree. The whole place smells like a mixture of the candle burning on your coffee table and whatever you have cooking in the kitchen.
It's not just cozy, he thinks. Itâs homey. And heâs about to ask you to leave it all for a dirty, grimy, old smelting plant.
He follows you into the small kitchen, where you stir something in a giant pot on your stove.
âDo I even want to know how you found me?â
He can tell that youâre trying to maintain a level tone, but he doesnât miss the way that your voice shakes and rises an octave on the last word.
He clears his throat, pulling out a chair for himself at your dining room table.
âHis name is Caliban. Heâs a mutant who can track other mutants. I asked him to find you.â
You hum in response, continuing to tend to the food in the pot with your back turned to him. Logan knows that telling you he asked Caliban to track you down is just the tip of the iceberg here, but he doesnât want to throw too much at you at once. So he watches as you grab a variety of seasonings from the cabinet above you, and lets you take your time with questioning him further.
âAnd why did you ask him to find me?â
âFor Charles,â Logan answers. âI didnât want to disturb you after all this time. I know youâre probably angry and you have every right to be but.. his seizures. Theyâre getting worse. The medications that I give him arenât helping like they used to.â
You cover the pot with a lid, and turn the dial on the stove down to low before turning to face him. You lean up against the counter, your arms once again crossed over your chest â a telltale sign that youâre on edge, Logan remembers well.
âYou mean the seizures that killed a bunch of our friends and have caused the United States government to classify his brain as a weapon of mass destruction?â
Logan gives you a curt nod. âYeah. Those seizures. Weâve been living in an abandoned smelting plant just south of the border in Mexico. He mostly stays inside an old water tower. The metal it's made from helps keep the seizures contained to the immediate area around us, but.. theyâre getting stronger. Happening more frequently.â
You chew on your lower lip, a passive expression on your face as you take in Loganâs words. You donât meet his gaze, your stare fixated on something on the other side of the room.
âAnd what about you?â
âWhat about me?â Logan counters.
You turn away from him again, reaching into a cabinet to grab two bowls. Logan watches as you ladle some kind of soup or stew into the bowls and pull two spoons from a drawer.
You place one bowl in front of him, and the other at a chair across from him before retrieving a bottle of dark colored wine and two glasses.
âItâs only been a year since I last saw you but you look about ten years older,â you finally answer as you uncork the bottle and fill the two glasses. You push one across the small table. âSorry. I havenât had much of a reason to keep any whiskey on hand.â
Loganâs not surprised by the observation â youâre not wrong. He knows the adamantium poisoning his body has taken a toll on his physical appearance. His hair and beard have started to gray, his skin appears more leathered, his under eyes more crinkled.
After barely aging a day in decades, the difference between a year ago and today must look drastic to you.
But that isnât why heâs here. He can handle some aches and pains, some coughing fits, and all of the other ailments that come with typical aging. He can hide it all from you â he wonât make that your burden to bear in addition to asking you to help with Charles.
âYeah, well,â Logan starts, staring down at the stew in front of him to avoid your gaze. âThatâs what working night shifts and taking care of a ninety-seven year old disabled psychic with Alzheimerâs induced mega seizures does to a person.â
âNo one asked you to do that, Logan. I would have helped you if you had given me the chance. I would have followed you anyââ
âI know,â Logan cuts you off. âI know you would have. But I had just watched almost everyone that I love die. I couldnât risk it, letting you get hurt too. Staying away from you for the last year, itâs.. itâs been one of the hardest things Iâve ever done. But I did it because I knew it would mean youâre safe.â
Youâre silent. Your lips quiver, and Logan loses his appetite at the way your eyes begin to gloss over with unshed tears.
âDid you at least think about reaching out?â
If your watery eyes make Logan lose his appetite, the brokenness in your voice makes him feel sick with himself.
âEvery single day.â
He doesnât tell you that you frequent his dreams, or that he thinks of you every time a Pink Floyd song comes on the radio, or that he hears your voice in the back of his mind telling him to drink more water when all heâs had that day is coffee and bourbon.
He wants to. But he doesnât.
You give a small nod to his answer, but otherwise say nothing. You pick up your spoon and take a small, unenthusiastic bite of the food in front of you. Logan forces his attention to his own stew, not really wanting to eat but knowing that he needs to â he had only stopped for gas and a bathroom break once during the drive here. He hasnât eaten anything since he choked down a stale granola bar before leaving Mexico early this morning.
The two of you sit in a loaded silence. Despite how heavy it feels, he canât help but feel more relaxed in your presence than he has in a long, long time.
Your spoon clinks against the empty bowl when you finish eating. Logan looks up to see you gulping down the last of your wine.
You sigh. A long, exaggerated sigh.
âWhy couldnât you have shown up yesterday, before I put up all of my Christmas decorations?â
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
Logan thinks that the interior of his limousine will smell like a Christmas tree threw up in it for the next few months.
Not that heâs complaining. The sickeningly sweet scent of balsam is a small price to pay for you agreeing to come to Mexico.
He knows he probably shouldnât feel as relieved as he does â he doesnât even know if your powers will be effective in helping with Charlesâ seizures.
But he can't lie to himself. The entire time he spent the better part of the night helping you pack your things into totes to load into your car and his limousine, he was on edge â afraid that you'd change your mind at any moment.
Of course he felt relieved when he watched your car pull out of your driveway after typing the smelting plantâs address into your GPS early this morning.
Approximately eleven hours later, he doesnât think heâs ever been so glad to be in Mexico. The drive to Colorado, packing for hours into the night and then getting a few hours of shut eye on your couch, and then the drive back to the smelting plant has taken a toll on him.
His hips ache from sitting for so long and heâs experiencing what has to be a pinched nerve in his lower back.
Thatâs a first for him.
When he arrives back home, heâs relieved to find that he got here before you. Maybe heâll have enough time to take a long, hot shower and let some max strength ibuprofen go into effect before you can notice the way that he hobbles inside.
âOh, thank God,â Caliban exhales when he sees the door open and Logan limps inside. âYou havenât answered any of my calls or texts. Did you even think to check if I was alive? He could have had a seizââ
âSorry,â Logan grunts, walking past him to retrieve the bottle of painkillers from a cupboard in the kitchen. âIâve been a bit preoccupied, trying to get back here as soon as possible and what not.â
He tosses back four pills dry and then turns to face him again. âAnd I knew you werenât dead. You blew up my phone enough to assure me of that.â
âWell, a reply or two keeping me updated would have been nice. Tracking you only tells me so much.â
Logan rolls his eyes. He doesnât have the energy for this right now.
âSheâs on her way here now. Howâs that for an update?â He pushes past Caliban, just wanting to go stand under a painfully hot stream of water.
âYou actually managed to get her to agree to come here?â
âIâm as surprised as you are.â Logan grabs a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen counter and starts walking towards his room. âAnd get the spare room cleaned up for her.â
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
âI know it isnât much, but Iâm gonna get you a better mattress tomorrow.â
A few hours later, long after Caliban and Charles have retired to the old water tower for the night, Logan stands in front of where you perch on the edge of the twin sized cot in your bedroom â if it can even be called that right now.
Aside from the sad excuse of a bed, the only other things in the room are a small bedside table with a lamp, and several storage totes containing your belongings that Caliban had brought in from Loganâs limousine.
If heâd had more time to prepare, he wouldâve done more, but just forty-eight hours ago he never would have guessed that you would actually be sitting here in front of him.
âItâs okay,â you shrug. âItâll be better once I have some of my things unpacked.â
âRight,â Logan nods. âWell, I'll leave you to that then. Just.. let me know if you need anything.â
He turns to exit the room, but freezes when he grabs the doorknob. He turns back around, and finds you looking at him expectantly â almost hopeful.
âI appreciate it. You coming here. You donât owe me anything after the way I just ran off without any explanation. But I'm really glad that youâre here.â
His heart swells when he sees the way that your expression softens. Youâre too good, too forgiving and understanding. The fact that you let him into your home, served him dinner, and packed up your entire life into a few boxes and came here after a year of no contact proves it.
He takes a step closer to you, trying his hardest to ignore the sharp burn that radiates from his lower back as he forces his body forward. Despite how hard he tries to hide the discomfort, you seem to notice that something is bothering him â he can tell by the way your brows furrow together and your mouth sets in a harsh line. You scoot back a few inches on the cot mattress, making room for him to take a seat next to you.
âAnd I just want you to know that Iâm sorry,â he continues, cutting you off before you can even ask if heâs okay.
âYou donât have to say anything. I just wanted you to hear me say it. Iâm sorry for the way I handled things. It wasnât fair to you. I was just scared shitless and wanted to do what I could to keep you safe. Getting as far away from you as possible seemed like the best way to do that at the time.â
Logan internally curses his rambling. Typically a man of few words, he canât help but feel silly at the sentiment. Youâd always had a way of drawing a level of vulnerability from him that no one else ever had. He still feels that effect today.
âI understand why you did what you did, Logan,â you start. You look at him with such understanding that he feels himself physically relax at your words.
âIt just⌠hurt.â You give a small shrug, bringing your hands together to dig your nails into your palms. âI lost my friends too, you know? You and Charles included. I know that you and I, we were neverâŚâ you trail off, but he knows what you mean without saying it.
Together. Never truly together.
A million almosts that never amounted to what he truly wanted run through his mind. Heâd long ago accepted that you and him would never be more than an unspoken thing but the reminder of it still stings, coming from your lips.
âAnyway,â you shake your head. He wonders if youâre thinking of the same memories that he is â the seemingly small ones.
The ones that he wouldnât have expected to stick with him, but ended up haunting him. Having a drink in the mansionâs courtyard together after particularly exhausting missions â or even just particularly exhausting days of teaching children. Walking into the kitchen to find you making lunch â and you just so happened to have made enough for him, too. You, on the back of his motorcycle with your arms secured around his stomach, your bodies pressed as close together as they ever had been.
âIâd be lying if I said I wasnât still hurt over it. But the truth is, I was too relieved to find you standing in my driveway to tell you to leave. And I missed you too much to not come back here with you.â
Your voice is barely a whisper by the time you finish speaking. A singular tear leaks from the corner of your eye, which you hastily wipe away.
âJust don't fucking do that again, okay? I definitely wouldnât be as forgiving if it happened a second time.â
âI wouldn't forgive myself if it happened a second time,â Logan tells you â and he means it. He still doesnât know if he can forgive himself as is. But you seem to forgive him, and that's enough for him for the time being. âI promise. Mânot going anywhere.â
âGood,â you murmur with a small smile, seemingly content with his reassurance. âSo, about Charles⌠I was thinking, if the seizures are as bad as you've told me, I probably won't be much use if he's actively having one. I was thinking that starting tomorrow, I could try to work with him using my powers little bits throughout the day. Not too much at once so he doesn't get frustrated.â
You're right. Thereâs nothing that anyone can do once one of Charlesâ seizures begins, except for Logan. Itâs solely due to his healing factor that Logan is able to muster enough strength to administer one of Charlesâ injections during a seizure. Humans â as well as mutants like you and Caliban â are rendered incapacitated.
âIâll let him know that youâre here in the morning,â Logan nods in agreement. âIâm sure heâll be glad to see you.â
âI hope so,â you sigh. âIâve missed him.â
As content as heâd be to sit here and talk to you all night, youâve both had long days of driving and tomorrow brings a lot of uncertainty, so he knows that he should let you get some rest.
âWe should probably try to get some sleep,â he says reluctantly. He starts to push himself off of the cot when the nerve in his lower back catches and causes him to hiss in pain. He tries to play it off, hoping you didnât notice the way he visibly grimaced at the sudden sharp pain.
âLogan? What's wrong?â You ask, concern etched in your voice. He refuses to meet your gaze, knowing it'll be harder to lie to you if he looks you in the eyes. Instead he forces one foot in front of the other, and takes a slow step forward.
âItâs nothinâ. Just stiff from driving so much is all.â
He feels your hand wrap around his wrist as he starts to take another step, stopping him in place. He hangs his head, still refusing to look at you. He doesn't think he can handle the concern and worry that is undoubtedly written on your face.
âIf you were anyone else on the planet, I might believe that.â You stand up next to him, and your grip on his wrist only tightens. His face heats up; a side effect of your questioning stare and close proximity.
âBut Iâve seen you get impaled with a crow bar before. It healed before I even had time to fret over you. So whatâs really going on?â
It hits him how naĂŻve he was to ever believe that heâd be able to easily conceal whatâs been happening inside his body from you. The effects of the adamantium poisoning have been becoming more physically apparent for a while now, and you of all people â someone so familiar with not only illness and injury, but also him â were bound to pick up on the fact that something is very different than the last time you saw him.
He finally looks at you, your face every bit as concerned as expected.
âMy healing factor has started to slow down,â he says delicately, trying to keep his tone even. The last thing he wants to do is freak you out even more.
âSlow down? How?â
âThe shit my bones are made of seems to finally be aging me.â He chooses to forgo using the word poison, but still answers as honestly as he can bring himself to.
âBut you donât need to worry yourself with that, âkay? Thatâs not why youâre here. Some back pain isnât anything that I canât handle,â he quickly adds when distress distorts your features.
You purse your lips, leaving him wondering how youâre going to respond.
Thereâs a sudden sensation radiate from where the skin of your palm and fingers are wrapped around his wrist â itâs a soft vibration, soothing and serene. It starts at his hand and travels up his arm before expanding through his chest, back, and eventually down to the soles of his feet.
For a few moments, he feels like heâs floating. The weight of the adamantium bones disappear for the first time in decades, leaving him feeling feather light. The feeling fades away as gradually as it appeared, and with it subsides the pinching in his lower back.
He realizes that heâs looking at you as if you grew a second head. He doesnât know why heâs so taken off guard â heâs seen your powers first hand before. He just never imagined there would be a time that heâd actually learn how it feels to be on the receiving end of them.
He glances down at where you finally release your hold on his hand. When you pull away, he sees the remnants of a purple glow emanating from your palm.
âI figured you would have said no if I had asked beforehand. Am I wrong?â
âNo,â he admits in a gruff tone. âGuess not.â
âWell? How does your back feel now?â You look at him with raised brows, as if you donât already know the answer.
âBetter. But donât make a habit out of that. I want you saving your energy for Charles.â
Truthfully, he physically feels the best that he has in months. In addition to his back being free of the sharp pinching sensation, the chronic stiffness that has plagued his body is gone. Even his eyesight seems clearer.
But he thinks back to one of his earliest memories of you â the one that had presented itself in his most recent dream. He remembers the vibrancy of your power gradually dimming as you grew more tired and the way that your forehead glistened with sweat when you were worn out from excessive use of your powers.
You roll your eyes and plop back down on the edge of your cot.
âIâm more than capable of helping you and Charles both. Do you think Iâd really let you suffer, knowing youâre in discomfort?â
He knows that trying to fight you on this is as about as useful as arguing with a brick wall.
âI don't doubt your capability,â he tells you gently as he eases towards the door to your room. âBut I'm not the priority here. Now get some rest, alright?â
Your response is a brief nod that tells him he hasnât heard the last of this conversation.
âGoodnight, Logan.â
Just down the hallway, he traces the tips of his fingers over where your hand had been wrapped around his until he falls into the most peaceful and comfortable sleep heâs had in over a year.
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
âSheâs a healer. She worked at the school as a nurse and teacher. You remember her, yeah? Sheâs here to see if she can help us out some.â
Logan hands Charles a double dose of pills and watches until heâs swallowed them. They are already running low on the seizure suppressants as is, but he makes him double up anyway. Heâd rather be on the safe side, since you are going to be working with Charles this morning.
âOf course I remember her,â Charles retorts after heâs taken the pills. âAs if I could ever forget with how often I see her face appear in your mind.â
âCould you do me a favor and not mention that, maybe?â Logan grumbles. He doesnât doubt that itâs true, but heâd prefer Charles to not mention it within the first five minutes of seeing you.
The door to the old water tower creaks open, allowing midday sun to infiltrate the dim space as you come inside. Caliban enters behind you.
âHi, Charles,â you greet him cheerfully âIt's so nice to see you.â
Your voice doesnât give it away, but Logan notices the nervousness in your gait â in the way that your posture is rigid and your footsteps are shorter and quicker than normal as you walk over to them.
Charles gives you a smile â the first genuine smile that Logan has seen from him in as long as he can remember.
âHello, my dear,â he beams at you. âWeâve missed you.â
You return his smile with a bashful one of your own, and wring your hands together in front of you.
âIâve missed you guys, too,â you say, your eyes flickering between him and Logan. âIâm glad to be here. Iâm going to be using my powers to try to get your seizures under control. Is that okay with you?â
âAnything sounds better than these two cramming pills down my throat like clockwork,â he grunts with a glare at Logan and Caliban.
âItâs not exactly fun for us either, you know,â Caliban scoffs.
âEnough, you two,â Logan interjects when Charles opens his mouth to respond. âWeââ he motions to himself and Caliban, âare going to give them some privacy.â
He'd be lying if he said the thought of leaving you alone with Charles during what will undoubtedly be a vulnerable time didnât make him nervous. But he doesnât want to overcrowd and overwhelm him, either.
Though a large majority of Charlesâ seizures are random, many have been brought on by a state of a emotional distress, too.
He knows that he doesnât exactly possess a natural aura of peace like you do.
A hint of anxiety flashes across your features before you quickly compose yourself. Logan starts to follow Calibanâs lead to the door, but stops when he's directly in front of you.
He reaches out and almost puts a hand on your waist before he thinks twice of it. His fingers linger awkwardly at your hip for a moment before he drops the hand back down to his side.
âI'll be close by, okay? If you need anything,â he says to you lowly. He glances over his shoulder to see Charles now tending to his bonsai tree, not paying attention to anyone around him.
âI know,â you assure him with a smile and nod of your head. âDonât worry. I wonât push him. If he starts to get agitated, frustrated, bored⌠Iâll stop immediately.â
Logan gives you one final, short nod before reluctantly following Caliban outside and back into the smelting plant.
âYou sure do seem to be getting around well for someone who could barely walk yesterday,â Caliban says in a faux casual voice as he tugs the balaclava style mask off of his head as soon as he is out of the sunlight.
Logan sighs and curses under his breath, already knowing the direction that this conversation is headed.
âNow that I'm thinking about it, I also didn't hear you having any nightmares all the way from the water tower last night. Must have had a good nightâs sleep.â
âWhat's your point?â Logan snaps. He yanks the fridge open, scanning the scarce shelves for something to eat.
He really needs to go to the grocery store once you've finished up with Charles. And buy you an actual bed. And stock back up on Charlesâ medications â
âNo point,â Caliban continues, âJust glad to see that you changed your mind about telling her about your condition is all. Even if you did threaten me within an inch of my life to not tell her right before you left for Colorado.â
âWhat can I say,â Logan grunts. âShe isn't blind. She clocked it within an hour of being here.â
Logan spends the next hour alternating between pacing the floor of the smelting plant and smoking cigars outside of the water tower. He reminds himself repeatedly that everything must be going okay, because if it wasn't, he would know by now.
He also reminds himself of the intense feeling of tranquility that came over him when he felt the effects of your powers. He canât imagine anyone not finding it euphoric â even Charles, in all of his stubbornness.
He's finishing up a cigar when you exit the water tower after what feels like an eternity. He immediately stubs it out, remembering how you used to tease him about getting cancer if he didnât stop smoking.
It wouldnât surprise him if that was an actual possibility for him these days.
âHowâd it go?â he greets you. He tries to keep his voice neutral â doesnât want to make it obvious how anxious heâs been for the last hour. âDid he do okay?â
âI guess we wonât really know until he either has a seizure or⌠doesnât,â you sigh. âHe did surprisingly well. But the damage that the Alzheimerâs has done to his brain is widespread. I doubt thereâs much reversing it. My goals are to reduce the severity and frequency of the seizures and to stop the damage from progressing any further.â
The two of you walk side by side back to the smelting plant, where Logan opens the door for you.
âSo that means that I might be staying here for quite some time.â
You ease past him through the small doorframe, your chest grazing against him ever so slightly. The familiar light scent of vanilla and honey lingers after youâre walking away.
Were you just smirking at him or is he hallucinating?
Scratch that, were you just flirting with him?
âI think I can find a way to be okay with that.â
He didnât expect you to go back to Colorado anytime too soon, given how much you packed â and the fact that your fucking Christmas tree sits in the common area â but he can't ignore that hearing you imply that you have no intention of leaving in the immediate future brings him more comfort than it probably should.
With your back turned to him as you open the refrigerator, heâs unable to see your expression, but he hears you hum in response â a sound somewhere between amusement and contentment.
âBut if I'm going to be staying here for any amount of time, the food situation is going to have to improve. How do you live like this?â
He sighs, remembering the current state of the fridge and cabinets. He ended up settling on an overripe banana for breakfast. He normally reserves grocery shopping for his off days â Mondays or Tuesdays â but those days had been occupied with traveling to and from Colorado this week.
âIâve got some errands to run today,â he starts, feeling an inkling of nervousness settle in the pit of his stomach. âGet some groceries and refills on Charlesâ medications⌠if you wanted to come with me.â
He tells himself that he invites you because it just makes sense â of course you need to familiarize yourself with the area that you're going to be living in, even if it's just temporary. It's important to know where the closest grocery store, and gas station, and pharmacy is.
And it also just makes sense that he would be the one who to show you around. Charles can't even go to the bathroom by himself and Caliban is allergic to the sun.
That's what he tells himself, anyway.
âI could be persuaded to go with you,â you drawl. âIfâŚâ You trail off, leaving Logan to look at you with a cocked brow.
âIf you let me ride in the backseat of your limousine?â
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
âWell? Was it everything you thought it would be?â
Logan sits directly across from you in a small booth at a mom-and-pop diner. Itâs nearly noon and you had yet to eat today, so Logan made the last minute decision to pull into the restaurantâs parking lot after acquiring Charlesâ medications.
âWhat?â you question as you swallow a mouthful of chocolate chip pancakes. It may not be breakfast time anymore, but he knew you would appreciate the fact that this place serves all day breakfast.
âBeing chauffeured around in a limousine.â
âFor some reason the limo smelled like a Christmas tree farm exploded in it,â you say nonchalantly. âBut the driver insisted on taking me out for all you can eat pancakes so Iâm still going to leave him a good review.â
âIâm sure he had a perfectly good reason for his limo smelling like that,â he retorts in mock defense. âBut he probably should try to take care of that before he goes back to work tonight,â he adds, making a mental note to pick up some air freshener at the store.
A cheeky grin spreads across your face. You look like youâre about give him some kind of smart remark when the waitress walks over to the booth with a steaming pot of coffee.
âGood to see you in here with someone for a change,â the older woman, who Logan knows is named Lucille without having to look at her name tag, remarks as she tops off both of your mugs. âDid you finally take my advice?â She asks Logan.
âEvery time he comes in here I tell him that he needs to get on one of those dating apps,â she says to you before he can answer.
You immediately cover your mouth to keep from spewing your coffee across the table.
Loganâs face heats up by ten degrees. He should have known better than to trust Lucille to be able to read the room.
âNo,â he snaps. âI have not downloaded Tinder. Or Bumble, or Hinge. Maybe you should give them a try and stop worrying about my love life.â
He shoos her away, but she just cackles and slaps him on the shoulder.
âHoney, Iâve been married for forty-five years.â
âOh yeah? Whereâs your ring?â He asks, nodding towards her naked ring finger.
âWeâre not allowed to wear jewelry on the clock, Nosey Nelly,â she jabs back. You sit silently, watching the interaction with pursed lips to keep from laughing.
âNosey Nelly,â Logan grumbles under his breath as he fishes his wallet out of his pants pocket. He pulls out his debit card and slaps it into her palm.
You finally release a snort of laughter when Lucille waddles away.
âI take it thatâs your best friend?â
âBelieve it or not, sheâs an improvement from Caliban.â
The two of you finish your meal with easy flowing conversation. You tell him what led you to Colorado, and about how you worked part time at a veterinarianâs office and part time at a bookstore. He tells you about some of the drunk, unhinged customers that he's had in his limousine lately.
Itâs easy for him to forget that less than forty-eight hours ago, he hadnât seen you in over a year.
Before your lives were irrevocably altered, you had been one of the closest friends he had ever had. One of the most important people in his life. Sitting across from you now, itâs too easy for him to remember why that was.
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
Loganâs reluctant to go to work tonight.
And itâs not just because he fucking hates his job and isnât in the mood to tolerate the bachelor party currently occupying his backseat.
To an extent, heâs always nervous to go to work. He works night shifts because Charles sleeps at night, and is therefore less likely to be triggered into a seizure during the nighttime hours. Itâs the safest time for Logan to be away.
It hasnât happened before, but that doesnât mean it couldnât. And with you now at the smelting plant, he worries about it happening while heâs away even more than he typically would.
He arrives at the strip club that the groom had requested he drive to and parks. They all drunkenly stagger out of the back of the vehicle, leaving Logan to relish in the silence after the door slams shut.
He pulls his phone from his coat pocket and sees that he has no messages.
Heâd told you to text him if you needed anything, so itâs a good thing that you havenât, right?
Itâs just before midnight, so you're most likely asleep. The lack of a text is probably not anything as drastic as the conclusions that his brain is jumping to.
Still, he can't stop his fingers as he types out a message and hits send.
Howâs the new bed?
After your brunch date â Lucille's words, not his â the two of you bought enough groceries to feed four people for a week and then went to the only furniture store in town to find you an upgrade from the fold out cot that they'd happened to have on hand when you arrived.
His phone dings just a minute later. He releases the breath heâd been holding before even reading your response.
Itâs a major improvement. You were right - not too soft, not too firm. Though it feels a whole lot bigger than it did in the store.
He reads over the text at least five times and thinks back to your time in the mattress store earlier that day.
The first couple mattresses you tested out were too soft, the next few too firm. Logan didnât mind that you were being indecisive â really. He was secretly relieved to have an excuse to spend more time with you, away from Caliban and Charles.
He laid down on a mattress that you hadnât checked out yet and instantly thought that it was significantly better than his personal mattress at the smelting plant.
âWhat about this one?â He asks, patting the empty space next to him on the queen sized bed. You walk over to the opposite side of the bed and crawl in beside him. With your arms down at your sides, one rests against his. The mattress is more than big enough for you, but with him next to you, itâs a cozy fit.
He types: Is that a good thing or a bad thing? and presses send before he can overthink it. His screen shows that you read the message right away, and he canât help but imagine the smirk on your face as you lay tucked beneath the covers.
The words âWhat do you think?â appear on his screen.
He thinks he feels like a fucking teenager with the way that a few harmless, borderline flirtatious text messages from you has him imagining what it would be like to really share the bed with you.
His jeans begin to feel uncomfortably tight. He clicks the phone off and tosses it in the empty passenger seat beside him, before he says something that crosses a line that he canât uncross.
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
The relief that your powers had provided Logan had been blissful but short-lived.
By the time he gets home from work at around four in the morning, his back pain has returned with a vengeance.
Everyone is asleep when he gets in, of course. He hobbles to his room as quietly as he can. Caliban and Charles are in the water tower, but he doesnât want to wake you up. He hopes that by the time that youâre both awake later today, the pain will have subsided in his sleep.
Two hours after he lies down, he realizes that sleeping it off is an impossibility with the amount of discomfort heâs in. Heâs done nothing but toss and turn in a futile attempt to find a comfortable sleeping position, the extra strength ibuprofen and his heating pad only doing so much to ease the stabbing sensation at the base of his spine.
He knows the answer to his problem is just down the hallway.
But it's early â the sun is just now starting to rise and he has yet to hear you stir from your room. He can't bring himself to wake you up over some back pain, knowing that you'll need to use your powers to help Charles soon.
He sits up with a deep groan, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. If he already can't sleep, he may as well make something to eat and settle the rumbling in his stomach.
Taking slow, short strides, he walks back down the hallway to the kitchen as quietly as he can manage.
He comes to a halt when he sees your door open, your head popping out from around the frame.
âCanât sleep?â You ask, your voice huskier than normal with sleep.
âHowâd you guess?â
You step into the hallway, still in a pair of plaid sleep pants and an oversized crewneck.
âYour bed creaks every time you move.â You cross your arms over your chest, standing less than half a foot away from him. Thereâs evident concern on your face when you take in his stiff posture. âThis place has thin walls.â
âSorry to keep you awake.â He looks down at the ground, embarrassed. âIâll stay in the living rooââ
âDonât be silly,â you stop him. You grab his hand in yours and begin to pull him back in the direction of his bedroom.
He thinks about protesting â part of him wants to tell you that you shouldnât bother. He thinks he should tell you that he appreciates it, but heâs a lost cause, and the relief will only be temporary.
But your hand is too warm and your skin is too soft and in the end, he isnât strong enough to deny himself the feeling of your touch, so he letâs you lead the way to his bed.
You drop his hand to position yourself on one side of the bed. You donât get underneath the comforter, but you do pull it back on his side so that he can crawl beneath it.
His isnât quite as big as your new bed â itâs only a full size mattress, so itâs even more cramped than when the two of you laid on the mattress in the store yesterday, but he isnât complaining.
It's unchartered territory for you two, this type of intimacy. He doesnât remember the last time he shared a bed with anyone, but if thereâs one person on the planet that he trusts enough to allow next to him in such a vulnerable state, itâs you.
âLay however is most comfortable for you,â you instruct him gently.
He maneuvers onto his side, facing you. You copy his position, your faces inches away from each otherâs on a shared pillow.
âNow close your eyes,â you whisper.
He does as you ask, and then feels your palm rest against the thick stubble of his jaw. Your thumb grazes across the skin of his cheekbone. He melts into your touch before youâve even started using your powers.
âIs this okay?â you murmur.
âMm-hmm,â he sighs against your hand. âCould just lay like this for a while and Iâd probably fall asleep. Donât even need to use your powers.â
You snort and run the tips of your fingers through his beard.
âHow about I do both? That okay?â
He nods, too tired to think about stopping you.
He falls asleep to the soft hum of your powers within minutes, and dreams of the color purple.
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
Over the next few weeks, everyone falls into a comfortable routine.
You continue to work with Charles for an hour in the mornings and then again in the evenings. Your powers help him more than Logan ever could have hoped for. Not only is this the longest heâs gone without having a seizure in months, but heâs also increasingly lucid and alert, and more like his old, spunky self than ever.
Most weeknights you cook dinner for everyone, and Tuesdays become the day that you join Logan in going to town for a weekly grocery restock and brunch at the same diner that he first took you to a few weeks ago.
He tries not to make it too obvious, but it quickly becomes one of the best parts of his week â even with Lucilleâs relentless teasing about how thereâs âno way youâre just friendsâ and Logan would be âthe biggest idiot on the planet to not lock you downâ.
Neither of you ever put much energy into disagreeing with her.
The other best parts of his week occur early in the mornings, before daylight breaks and Charles and Caliban are still sound asleep. He gets home from work and you move from your bed and into his, relieving him of any physical discomfort he could be experiencing from hours of driving around and lulling him to sleep.
The first few nights, heâd wake hours later to find that you had escaped back to your own room after heâd fallen asleep. Then, one morning, when he woke up, he opened his eyes to find your face resting against his shoulder.
You stopped bothering to go back to your own room after that.
This evening â Christmas eve â Logan sits on his bed and stares at the gift that heâd gotten you while you finish preparing the dinner that youâd been working on for the last few hours.
He feels silly. There hadnât been any discussion on getting each other gifts and he worries that itâll make you feel weird.
Itâs an espresso machine â nothing too fancy, but itâll get the job done. You had recently mentioned how much you miss the espresso machine that you had in Colorado. The house you had been renting came furnished, which included an espresso machine that you were unable to bring with you to Mexico.
He stopped by a Target before work a couple nights ago and picked it out. To top off how silly he feels, heâd completely forgotten to buy wrapping paper or even a gift bag, so heâll just be handing it to you as is.
âDinner is almost ready!â He hears your voice call from the kitchen.
The smell of honey glazed ham and fresh rolls wafts down the hallway. He places the box containing the espresso machine on the floor beside his bed, planning to give it to you after Charles and Caliban go to bed in a few hours.
When he rejoins everyone in the common area, Charles is watching Home Alone and Caliban is gathering plates and silverware for everyone while you remove a large dish of baked mac and cheese from the oven.
âSmells great,â Logan compliments as he grabs a beer out of the fridge. âAnything I can help with?â he asks, as if you hadnât all but shooed him out of the kitchen just an hour ago.
You place the casserole dish on a trivet before grabbing one of the plates that Caliban had set out.
âYes, actually,â you say, surprising him. You hand him the plate with a small smirk. âYou can make Charles a plate.â
âOh, can I?â He takes a step closer to you, taking the plate and grinning down at you. âAre you sure you trust me to do that?â
âHey, itâs not my fault that youâve been alive two hundred years and havenât taken the time to learn to cook.â
âWell, I guess I'll just have to have you teach me-"
âWould you two stop flirting and get me some ham?â Charles voice booms over the television and silences you both.
Logan notices you purse your lips to keep from smiling as you turn your attention back to the spread of food across the dining room table.
Soon, youâre all four sat around the dining room table with plates piled high with traditional holiday dishes. Logan is halfway through clearing his plate when Charles clears his throat to speak.
âThis is wonderful,â he directs at you. âThank you very much. You know, this all feels very familiar to meâŚâ he trails off, glancing between you and Logan from across the table. The smile on his face fades, and in itâs place appears an expression of confusion.
From the corner of his eye, Logan sees your grip on your fork tighten.
âThank you, Charles,â you tell him. You try to sound cheerful, but Logan doesnât miss the nervous edge to your voice. He knows that youâre noticing the same thing as him. âIâm glad youâre enjoying it.â
âYes, these candied sweet potatoes are delicious,â Caliban interjects in an obvious attempt to maintain easy conversation. âYou'll have to give me your recââ
âThis feels so familiar,â Charles repeats and all three of you go silent.
In his gut, Logan fears that he knows what is coming. It always starts this way. One minute, everything will be perfect. The next, something triggers a memory, or a feeling, and Charles is hit with the weight of the past â with the weight of the trauma that his brain normally blocks out.
âThis feels like⌠how Christmas used to feel. When weâd have dinner at the.. at the mansion. With all of our friends before I.. before I killed themââ
âCharles,â Logan says firmly, but Charles continues to stare into space. âIt wasn't your fault. Okay? Let's enjoy this nice dinner. Do you want some more green beansââ
But heâs unable to finish his sentence before it begins. The exact thing heâs been the most terrified of since you arrived here weeks ago.
Across from him, Caliban's face is frozen in agony. Beside him, your mouth is open as if to scream, but no sound comes out. Every one around him is still, and his body suddenly feels a few hundred pounds heavier.
It's been weeks since Charlesâ last seizure, but Logan knew it was too good to be true â knew that it was bound to happen again eventually. He'd planned for this, knowing the effects of the psionic energy would hurt you as they do Caliban.
Logan forces himself into a standing position by pushing off of the dining room table, and then takes as big of steps as he possibly can to get to the opposite side, where Caliban and Charles sit.
He ignores the blinding nerve pain all over his body, he ignores the intense ringing in his ears, he ignores the way it feels as if all of the air has been ripped from his lungs and reaches down to grab the bag of medication from the compartment beneath Charlesâ wheelchair â where he's made sure to keep it, in case of this exact scenario.
Despite his shaking hands, he manages to retrieve an injection and uncap it. He jabs the tip of the needle into the flesh of Charlesâ shoulder with as much force as he can muster, then collapses to the floor beside him.
Charles releases a grief stricken groan, realizing what had happened. Logan hears both you and Caliban gasping for air.
âI'm sorry,â Charles cries. âI'm so sorry..â
Logan pulls himself off of the ground using the edge of the table and instantly turns his attention to you. Your eyes are wide and your hands are visibly shaking in your lap, but you exhale the breath you'd been holding when your eyes meet Logan's.
You push your chair back, standing and closing the distance between the two of you. Your hands grip the tops of Logan's biceps. He instinctively rests his on the sides of your stomach.
âAre you okay?â You ask, your voice wobbly and several octaves higher than normal.
âI'm fine,â he assures you delicately. âAre you okay?â
You nod, hesitantly at first and then more confidently as you take him in and seem to realize that he really is alright.
âI'm fine too,â Caliban grunts from across the table. âDonât worry yourselves with me.â
Logan and you both quickly retract your hands, breaking the embrace. You turn your attention to Charles, who seems to be in another world.
âCharles? Are you alright?â You ask him softly.
âHm?â He hums as he glances up at you. âOh, yes. Iâm alright. I think.. I think Iâd like to go to bed now,â he murmurs. Logan, you, and Caliban all exchange glances before Logan tosses the bag of medication to Caliban.
âGive him a double dose of the suppressants and some sleep medicine,â Logan instructs him. Caliban nods wordlessly and wheels Charles away from the dining room table, towards the smelting plantâs door.
Once theyâve left the building, Logan turns to you. You look visibly shaken, and he canât blame you. He remembers all too well how frightening the effects of the seizure was the first time he experienced it. Even with this one being relatively short lived, he knows it had to have been more painful and scary for you than it was for him.
âIâll clean all of this up, okay?â He says, gesturing towards the half eaten dinners and the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. âYou go relax. Take a shower, lay down for a whileââ
âReally, Logan. I'm okay, I promââ
âWill you do that for me?â
To his surprise, you don't object any further. You give him a small nod, and a comforting squeeze to his hand as you walk past him.
He doesn't release the sigh of both relief and frustration that heâd been holding in until he hears the shower turn on a few moments later.
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
As soon as Logan finishes tidying up from dinner, he cuts two small slices of an apple pie you had baked and puts them on a plate for the two of you to share.
Your door is slightly cracked, the soft orange light from your table lamp spilling into the hallway. He knocks quietly and waits for you to tell him to come in.
Youâre in your pajamas, tucked under a blanket with a book partially obscuring your face. You do little to acknowledge his presence, so he takes a seat on the edge of your bed and places the plate of pie beside him.
The room looks significantly different than it did just a few weeks ago. In addition to the new bed, you'd also acquired a vintage dresser and an area rug that youâd found for cheap at a thrift store. You have books in piles throughout the room, one of the things that you were most adamant about bringing with you from Colorado.
âCharles is alright,â he tells you gently. âHe must have just been really tired. He didnât nap much today. Caliban said he fell asleep really quickly after taking his medicine.â
âExcept that wasnât why he had a seizure,â you sigh, closing your book. Logan now has a better view of your face, and the first thing he notices is that your eyes look red-rimmed and watery. You sit up straight, and he inches closer to you on the bed.
âHey, whatâs goingââ
âIt was definitely my fault that he had a seizure,â you sniffle, looking at him with defeat.
âWhat? No,â Logan shakes his head. You have a blanket draped across your lap, but Logan places his hand on your knee over top of it. âWhat makes you say that?â
âI always work with Charles for an hour in the mornings and an hour in the afternoons,â you start, frustration evident in your voice. âBut this afternoon, I cut our session short because he wasnât really in the best mood and I wanted to get started on prep for dinner.â
You wipe underneath your eye with the sleeve of your shirt and look away from Loganâs gaze.
âSweetheart, you canât blame yourself for this,â he assures you as he rubs slow circles on your knee with his thumb. âHe was having seizures almost every single day before you got here. Youâre not the reason he had a seizure today. But you are the reason heâs been able to go weeks without having one.â
âOkay?â He prompts when you donât respond. You finally look him in the eye again, and offer a small nod of agreement.
He hands you the plate of apple pie, earning a small smile from you.
âWait here. Iâve got something for you,â he tells you as he stands up and begins walking towards your door.
âSomething for me?â you question, but heâs already halfway down the hallway.
He grabs the espresso machine from beside his bed and heads back to your room. He still feels nervous to give it to you, but right now heâs just hoping that it will help cheer you up.
When he re-enters your room, youâre forking a bite of pie into your mouth and freeze when you see what heâs carrying. He sits back down on the edge of the bed, still holding the box. You sit the plate of pie on your bedside table and scoot closer to him.
âLogan, you didnât have to,â you murmur. He hands you the box and you hug it to your chest, but only look at him. He thinks your eyes are starting to look watery again. âI feel so bad. I didnât get you anythingââ
He waves his hand in dismissal, not surprised at all by your reaction.
âI know I didnât have to. Just wanted to. Is that okay?â
You inspect the espresso machine with a bashful grin. âThank you. I love it,â you assure him with a gentle squeeze to his hand. âI just wish I had gotten you something, too.â
âThatâs not necessary,â he says, staring down at where your hand holds his. âYou give me everything I need just by being here.â
You go still at his words with a look he canât quite read on your face. You pull your hand away from his before placing the espresso box on the floor next to your bed. The hand that previously held his comes to cradle his face, your thumb grazing along his cheekbone. He turns his head ever so slightly to the side so that his lips graze against your palm. He kisses the skin once, then twice, and your eyes flutter closed.
His heightened senses donât miss the way your heart rate picks up, or the way that you hold your breath as his lips linger on your skin.
âWhat are you thinking about?â He murmurs into the side of your hand. You open your eyes, your pupils dilated.
âSame thing Iâve been thinking about for years now,â you whisper as you lean forward, pulling his face to you.
You capture his lips in yours, opening up for him without hesitation. He slips his tongue into your mouth, the sensation simultaneously feeling brand new and like youâve done this dance a hundred times before.
He scoots further back onto the mattress, away from the edge. He pulls you with him, guiding you onto his lap. You straddle him, his hands resting on your lower back. You fist your hands around the fabric of his flannel, pulling him flush against you.
It's years of pent up desire and longing that you pour into each other. You drag your teeth along the swell of his bottom lip and he groans into your mouth, resisting the urge to buck his hips up against your center.
He knew you looked sweet, smelled sweet â but never would he have guessed that youâd taste even sweeter. Even if it werenât for the faint hint of cinnamon and apples from the pie youâd nibbled on, heâd think you were the sweetest thing heâs ever tasted.
You grind down against the uncomfortable bulge contained by his jeans and whimper â the prettiest sound heâs ever fucking heard and he hasnât even touched you yet. You pull back, your chest heaving from lack of air.
âWhy didnât we do that years ago?â you ask breathlessly. He reaches up to your face, tucking some stray hairs behind your ear.
âBecause Iâm a fucking idiot,â he answers quickly. His eyes lock on your kiss swollen lips and he thinks youâve never looked prettier than you do right now â staring down at him with puffy lips wet with his kiss. âBut now that Iâve kissed you, Iâm not gonna stop. Gonna kiss you for as long as youâll let me.â
And to prove his point, he starts trailing wet, open mouth kisses along your jaw and down your throat. You throw your head back, giving him unhindered access to the skin of your neck. He alternates between kissing and nipping the tender flesh, leaving a damp trail across your skin.
You grab at the hem of your shirt and Logan pulls away to allow you to tug it over your head. Youâre left naked from the waist up and Logan is left feeling like his cock is going to break through the zipper of his jeans.
With your tits directly in front of his face, he latches his mouth to one nipple and palms the other in his hand. You rock yourself against his erection, chasing the relief that the friction provides you.
âLogan,â you pant from above him. âPleaseââ
He pulls his mouth away from you with a wet pop, leaving your nipple glistening and taut.
âTell me what you want, honey.â
You let out a low whimper at the pet name and drag your fingers through his hair. He toys with the waistband of your pajamas pants, popping the elastic band lightly against your skin.
âYour mouth,â you say, the words somewhere between a whine and a plea. âI wanna feel your mouth on me.â
He groans at the bluntness of your words. Hearing you say that you want his mouth on you has his cock throbbing in his pants.
âYeah?â He taunts as he maneuvers you off of his lap. He quickly tugs his own shirt over his head and tosses it somewhere behind him. Your eyes trail down the expanse of his chest, your mouth slightly agape.
He tilts your head so that youâre looking at his face again and tugs at your bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.
In that moment, he hopes you never stop looking at him like that.
âYou gonna sit on my face?â
You nod, eagerly. You push your pajama pants down past your ass and thighs, and Logan helps pull them the rest of the way over your calves and ankles. You lean forward, reaching for the waistline of his jeans and fumbling with the button until it pops open.
He sees you completely naked before him and his brain goes momentarily blank. He canât believe he actually gets to see you like this â bare for him and more perfect than he ever could have envisioned.
And believe him, he had tried. Nothing could have prepared him for how it actually feels to see you, touch you, taste you after years of yearning for you.
âLay down for me?â You ask with a small laugh, snapping him out of his trance. He does as you ask, placing his head on one of your pillows.
You straddle his chest, your back to his face. He helps you inch backwards until your pussy hovers directly over his mouth. He pauses for a moment, spreading your thighs apart with his hands to give him a clear view of your already dripping cunt before yanking you the rest of the way down to his mouth.
You moan as soon as his tongue slides through your wet folds, bracing your hands on the defined planes of his chest. The sweet and salty tang of you fills his mouth and he has to resist moaning goddamn, I love you into your cunt.
He could get drunk off of the flavor of you.
You grind yourself against his face, your juices coating his beard and your inner thighs. Heâs so focused on working you with his lips and tongue that he doesnât even notice you pushing his jeans and boxers down until he feels his cock spring back and slap his lower belly.
âFuck,â you moan at the sight of him. You pump him in your hand, smearing the pre-cum from his slit down his shaft. âYou're so big. I donât know how youâll fit inside me.â
He hears you spit, then feels it drip across his tip. You smear the warm wetness down his length and press a kiss to the side of his cock before taking him in your mouth. The head nudges against the back of his throat before you pull back, then ease back in, slow and deep.
Heâs always loved your lips, but right now heâs doesnât think he could ever love them more. He wants to watch as you hollow your cheeks and bob your head along his length, but thatâs going to have to wait for another time.
Right now, heâs right where he wants to be. He has your swollen clit locked between his lips, sucking on it to the point that your legs quiver around his head. You lean forward, pressing your chest against his stomach as you run your tongue down the entirety of his cock and stroke him in your hand.
âIâve waited so long to taste you,â he grunts from beneath you. The vibrations of his voice making your pussy clench around the finger that he teases your hole. âThis cuntâs so fuckinâ sweet.â
He eases his index finger past your entrance, your walls constricting around the digit. âAnd so fuckinâ tight,â he adds, pumping in and out of you as you begin to move forwards, then backwards, up, and then down â grinding against his finger.
âLogan, I'm gonna cum,â you cry and it makes his balls tighten. He feels it â the way you gush around his finger and the way your legs clench around his head.
You ride out your orgasm above him, and then collapses against his chest. Your skin is sticky with sweat against his, despite the fact that the current cold front has the smelting plant colder than normal tonight.
You roll off of him, falling onto the mattress next to him. Your slick glistens on your thighs in the soft glow of your lamplight. It's one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen, he thinks. You fucked out and delirious from your climax.
But he thinks he might fucking die if he has to spend one more second of his abnormally long life not knowing how it feels to be buried inside you.
He helps pull you into a sitting position, and then lays you down in his place. Your tits heave as you try to regain control of your breathing. He's on his knees, fisting himself in his hand as he nudges your knees open. Your eyes are locked on his cock, a look of half excitement and half terror.
âYou can take it, honey. I know you can,â he coos.
He slaps the tip against your clit, then glides it up and down your wet length. Not entering you quite yet, but coating himself in your slick. He looks down at himself next to your pretty, wet cunt and imagines how itâll be to see it sliding in and out of you.
âJust been a while, thatâs all,â you say, pulling him down to the by the back of the neck. He lines himself up at your entrance, nudging just the tip in. Even thatâs a stretch for you, he can tell by the way your mouth forms an O shape.
He goes still for a moment â for your sake, but for his own, as well. He has to adjust to the warm tightness of your pussy before he trusts himself to go any deeper.
âI know, baby. Been a while for me too. Been waiting for you for a long time.â
He slates his lips over yours, kissing you messy and deep as he slowly sheaths himself inside you. He stills again once heâs buried to the hilt, and breaks the kiss to look down at you.
âYou okay?â He murmurs. He props himself up on one forearm by your head, and brings his free hand to roll one of your nipples between his thumb and forefinger.
You give him another eager nod, and wrap your legs securely around his hips, hooking your ankles together just below his ass.
âMm-hmm,â you sigh. âNeed you to move now, Logan.â
With his cock throbbing inside you, he doesnât make you tell him twice. His length drags along the soft, spongy interior of your walls as he pulls out and eases back in. He gives you a few languid, slow strokes to accommodate the newfound stretch before it's hard for him to hold back.
He gets lost in it all â in the wet, tight heat of your cunt, in the sounds that your bodies make as he repeatedly snaps into you, in every expression on your face and every noise that slips past your lips.
You snake your arms around his abdomen, your hands coming to rest on his lower back.
âH-howâs your back?â You stammer out as he continues to piston his hips forward.
âI've never been better,â Logan grunts, resting his sweat slicked forehead against yours.
It's the truth. Heâs never felt better than he does right now, between your legs â even if he is feeling this in his back. He'll deal with any and all repercussions later, once he's felt you cum around his cock while you cry his name.
You smile up at him as if to say wanna bet?
You flatten your hands across his skin at the base of his spine, and he doesnât have to be able to see it to know what you're doing. He's experienced the effects of your powers enough by now to recognize them instantly â the low vibration they emit and the immediate warmth that spreads throughout his body.
âGonna make me cum, honey,â he warns you. âFeels too good.â He feels your walls constrict around him when he calls you honey.
âKiss me and Iâll cum with you,â you tell him in a breathy voice that he could listen to talk in all fucking night.
He kisses you again, this time more hurried than anytime before as he chases both of your releases. He spills into you with a deep groan as your cunt spasms around him. You moan his name into his mouth until he stills inside you, the last ropes of his cum filling you up.
He isnât sure how long the two of you stay like that â with him still tucked inside you, laying pressed against you with his face nuzzling the crook of your neck. You trail your fingers up and down his spine, the sensation the only thing grounding him to reality in his post orgasm haze.
Finally, he pulls back enough to look down at you.
âStay here,â he says earnestly. âStay with me. Don't go back to Colorado. One day, weâll go anywhere you want to. Just the two of us. But right now, please stayââ
âLogan,â you shush him gently. âI wasnât planning on going back to Colorado. Or anywhere without you.â
He exhales, and kisses you on the forehead before finally pulling out of you and plopping down beside you. He tucks you between his chest and his arm, your head resting just above his heart.
âYou know, this new bed of yours is a whole lot comfier than mine,â he comments casually.
âHmm,â you hum and tilt your head to look up at him. âYou should probably sleep here tonight. For your back, of course.â
He laughs, sleep threatening to overtake him at any second. He presses a lazy kiss to your forehead.
âI'm not going anywhere without you, honey.â
â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘â˘
some of my other logan works
diet pepsi - old man logan x reader limousine sex
by the end of the night - worst variant logan has nightmares and mutant reader with emotional regulation abilities helps him sleep better
claw kink drabble
thank you so much for reading đŤśđť
#I love when Logan is so beaten tf down and then the person that makes life worth living enters and he is just so soft and gentle#AND PROTECTIVE!!!!#GOOD GOD#the expresso machine bit was so cute are u kidding me#just picturing Logan looking between different brands to see which one youâd prefer#outdid yourself again thanks for this treat#logan fic#logan smut#logan angst#logan fluff#fic recs
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I love soft, sweet, Vulnerable moments!!! Anytime I read a fic where Logan starts to feel safe makes me so đĽşđ
I can make you feel better... If you let me
Contents: Original Trilogy! Logan x fem reader, naive reader, obsessive and touch starved Logan, friends to lovers, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, non-sexual physical intimacy, sexual fantasies (real smut in pt. 2), mentions of Charles, Ororo, Jean, Scott and Rogue
Summary: You keep everything running as smooth as possible in the background while Professor Xavier keeps a very full plate of locating mutants, running the school, and leading the X-Men. A steady stream of mutants come and go through the mansion, but a certain one in particular makes it his mission to nestle his way into your life.
The past few days had been a whirlwind for Logan. He's the type of man that goes where he wants to go- and waking up in an infirmary on a small hospital cot after being round up like some sort of animal was not on his list of things to do that week, to say the least.
For all intents and purposes, his next plan of action was to get away from here as soon as he possibly could and get back to the life he lived on his own terms. His only home and form of transportation was totalled somewhere in the Alberta wilderness, sure, but he already had experience starting over from nothing.
Oh, but was one man ever persuasive: Charles Xavier. Not many people had an edge over Logan like he did. If his ego permitted, he would be thankful that the man that held upper hand had noble intentions.
When he first met you, a cute little thing diligently running errands to what was perhaps the one man who could have his answers, you immediately piqued Logan's interest. So sweet and so kind, and Charles put his trust in you?
He had barged in like he owned the place on you and the professor scheduling out the upcoming semester in his office. Charles appeared to have already gotten used to this type behavior from him. "This, my dear, is Logan. He will hopefully be joining us now."
Oh... so is he planning to stick around? You ponder as you bite the inside of your cheek, leaning onto Charles' desk with your hip. Logan immediately came off as brooding and dismissive, and he didn't seem like the type to settle into a place beaming with so much activity. Regardless, you extended your hand out to him as you told him your name.
It took him a second to register the gesture. He only now noticed how lost in thought he was, eyes caught below your neckline. With a clearing of his throat, Logan reached a hand back to you to shake it. The most formal of ways to greet someone, yet the feeling of your delicate fingers grasping his rough palm caused his mind to wander again. He forced himself back to reality.
"I guess I'll be seeing you around," Logan remained aloof in speech, hoping you didn't notice the way he devoured you with his gaze. He decided to promptly remove himself from the room, searching for the privacy to be alone with his thoughts.
A few interactions after your initial introduction, Logan started to feel something beyond sexual curiosity. You made his heart race, you made him nervous.
Not a single detail went unnoticed by Logan. The way your hips would sway, how you parted your hair, the shade of lipstick you wore, the softness in your voice whenever you greeted him, your scent.
Life kept throwing change in Logan's way, morphing his way of living into something unrecognizable to him. For the last however many years (boy, is he ever bad at keeping track of time) he had filled them with isolation and taking whatever cheap pleasures he could find. Now he finds himself surrendering the space in his mind to a woman he barely knew. You brought warmth and light into a cold, dark place.
No, this won't fly, he thought to himself. The fact that he was losing control over the dynamic between you made him very uncomfortable. Logan made it his mission to learn more about you. If he could just figure you out, he could take the reins over again.
The two of you would always acknowledge eachother in a group setting. The tiny smile Logan would throw your way whenever you caught eyes made you weak. You couldn't help but to want to know more about him, too. A rugged man who was a stranger not too long ago was showing you consideration? A man who nobody knows where he's been, what he's done, how old he is? It kind of racked your brain, but you tried not to let it trip you up.
Oh, but he would catch you trip up. It wasn't lost on Logan the times you entered a space with him in it, seemingly to forget what you came in there for. Maybe you were a little ditzy- your mind often racing too fast that you couldn't catch up with yourself, but it had happened too many times for it to be a coincidence. At least, that's what he told himself.
He replicated your behavior, scouting you out amongst the mansion. It wasn't hard for him to find you. Your trail had become so much bolder to his senses, overshadowing anybody else that could be in vicinity.
Logan always found what he was looking for. Excuse after excuse slipped easily from his lips. Obvious to everyone else what he was doing, you earnestly took the bait every time without fail. He marked the first time he had a conversation with you alone as a significant victory.
"Hey, didn't see you there. Have you seen Charles around? I need to talk to him." He had cornered you in the library, watching you read for a minute or two before making his presence known.
You flinched up in your chair, "Jesus Logan, don't sneak up on me like that!" The yelp that initially left your lips was definitely a sound he would remember next time he's alone.
"Sorry, doll. Didn't mean to scare ya," he chuckled.
The upset you felt towards him for breaking your flow state lasted but half a second. You couldn't be mad. After all, whatever he needed Charles for must of been important.
"No, Jean and him are off chaperoning a field trip in the city. He should be back sometime this evening."
Logan let out a little "hmph", trying his best sound to sound disappointed. Inside he was estatic he finally caught up to you again. Now with no one else around, his mind flooded with possibilities on how this could go. The odds of you immediately throwing yourself at him weren't zero, were they? If he were to take you and bend you over the table right this very second, there was a possiblility you'd let him... right? God, am I really this desperate? he thought.
After letting a moment hang in the air, he sat down next to you in the ajacet seat. "So, what are you doing here all by yourself? Got nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon, huh?" Good idea, Logan, change the subject.
"You're one to talk," your focus was now one hundred percent on him. Thighs spread as he lazily leaned back in the chair, rolling his head to the side. To say he wasn't beautiful like this would be a lie. You've rarely seen him this relaxed. "Aren't you here too?"
"Huh." Logan did not anticipate you to call him out like that, "I guess you've got a point, there."
An awkward silence sat between the two of you. You pretended to divert your attention back to your book, not letting him escape the corner of your eye. Logan lit up a cigar he fished from his pocket. He desperately needed something to do with his hands.
"This is a library, you know that right?" You chide him after an annoyed sigh.
"Oh, is it now? I thought all these books were just for decoration." His lips sucked in another drag.
"Very expensive books, Logan. There's plenty of perfecly fine places to smoke around here if you just look."
He got up from his seat, "Then why don't you show me around, darlin'? Open my eyes a little." You couldn't quite tell if the pet name was to belittle you or to be affectionate. A hand reached out to bring you to stand. "I'll let you lead the way."
You lead him outside to the back of the mansion, a secluded area with an old stone bench shaded by the surrounding trees. It was your favorite place on the property, and it soon became his as well.
After that day, it wasn't an uncommon occurrence for the two of you to catch eachother in that very spot on a warm day. You would watch the kids play in the field, discussing all the antics the students got into that week. Bright afternoon sun would peak through the trees as cigar smoke wafted in the air- everything felt so perfect when you were with him.
Logan often found himself falling asleep thinking of you. He would linger on any time you spent together in the previous hours of the day, overanalyzing the interaction. Any amount he got of you was never enough. He always needed more. More time with you, more closeness, more, more, more.
If he was lucky, you would visit him in his dreams. It was rare but whenever it happened, it was a blessing. You would appear to him as vivid and real as if he was awake. There, he was finally able to close the gap between you two. His hands would finally meet every inch of your plush skin.
However, Logan's mind loved to torture him. As much as your companionship has brought him peace, no amount of feelings for you could change the fact that he was a broken man. Most nights consisted of horrific images; an incomprehensible collage of blood and bodies that he desperately tried to make sense of. All he knew is that it was all real. It happened. The pain was too prevalent to be fantasy.
Tonight he had awoke in terror yet again. A cold, uncomfortable sweat coated his body, chest heaving up and down like a piston. Logan's eyes were blown wide, staring at the ceiling in an attempt to convince himself he was safe in his room. When did four walls around you ever mean you were safe? His intrusive thoughts were keen on keeping him in a state of anxiety. When did four walls ever make someone safe from you?
That was enough. Logan knew all too well how his mind could go on and on liks this if he let it. He needed to get some air. The bed creaked under his shifting weight as he sat up. His entire body felt sore. It was if he fought off an entire army in the hours he was asleep.
After finally getting up, he made his way past his bedroom door and down the hall towards the nearest exit. The kitchen was along that route. He figured he might as well grab something to drink. Anything, as long as it was cold.
As he turned the corner, the narrow hallway met the open space of the kitchen. Logan was surprised to find the room already illuminated with light. His eyes lit up when he saw who was sitting at the counter.
Logan stumbled before you a dishelveled mess. His hair was matted, sticking up every which way. The white tank he wore was half tucked into sweatpants he haphazardly put on before leaving his bedroom, drawstrings not even tied as they sat low on his hips. His demeanor was one of a wild animal, cautious and running on instinct.
A wave of awareness washed over Logan. He combed his fingers through his dark locks and straightened his back as he approached you further. Once he got himself to think in actual words again, he greeted you.
"Couldn't sleep either, huh?" His voice was hoarse and deep. Logan just now realized how sore his throat was. He hoped to god that he wasn't screaming in his slumber- at least not loud enough for anybody to hear.
"I just woke up not too long ago. Was hoping a snack would help me get back to sleep." You sat before a plate filled with a random assortment of food you scavenged from the cupboards, "Want some?"
"No thanks, sweetheart," the way he spoke sweetly to you through his gravelly tone made your heart skip a beat. He didn't need to ask to know that you had a rough night as well. It was written all over your face. A gentleness Logan typically pushed down and tried to ignore was bubbling to the surface. Something in him was relieved he was no longer alone with himself tonight.
You watch him make the journey past you to the fridge, scanning the contents of the shelves like it was the hardest decision he had to make in a long time. Rootbeer or ginger ale... Ginger ale or rootbeer...
"You didn't hear it from me, but Scott keeps a few beers in the vegetable drawer underneath the celery."
"That sneaky little bastard," he smirks. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Logan was delighted. Not only by the sudden promise of alcohol, but by the thought that you might share other secrets with him, too. He had a boyish urge to stay up the entire night with you and see if he could get you to spill all the other secrets you must have.
Two beers clanked together as Logan grasped them with a single hand. He took a seat across from you and slid a bottle over to your side of the countertop. Your eyes locked and held on to that contact for probably way too long. Time felt like it has stopped. The moment he walked into the kitchen and saw you, the clock might as well never ticked a single second past 1:37 AM.
"I don't know... Scott will probably notice if we take more than one," you say as you bite your lip.
"I'll run to the store in the morning, he won't even know they were gone," he was all too ready to combat your excuse. Logan wanted to see you come undone. You worked so hard, did everything you're told and were so diligent. Such a good girl. A beer in your hand looked terribly out of place and that made his heart swell.
"Guess it can't hurt, can it?" You opened the bottle and sipped as the frosty glass numbed the tips of your fingers.
He drank much slower than his usual pace, taking the tiniest of mouthfuls like the time with you would run out with the beer. Silence draped over the two of you like a warm blanket, both too exhausted to put on any sort of show to entertain the other. The satisfaction of just being in eachother's company was enough. It came all too easy when you were together. After witnessing all those horrors earlier in the night, Logan finally felt content.
You notice he rubs his neck, a strained noise rumbled in his chest. The stool you sat in screeches against the tile floor as you get up and make your way over to him on the other side of the island. Logan's eyes followed you with every step you took
"May I?" you ask as you now stand behind him, hands hovering over his shoulders, waiting for permission. It wasn't a big deal. You always help out Ororo and Jean when they have stiffness or a knot. That's what friends do for eachother, right?
Logan did his best to hide his signs of exitement. He couldn't let you know how often he thinks of your touch. If he had only one ounce less of pride, he would be begging you for the simplest of contact all hours of the day. "That's real sweet of you, but you really don't have to," he said with the slightest quiver in is voice.
"But I want to." That's it. Those four words just shattered him into a million pieces. If you only knew what you were doing to him.
Your digits grip the dip in his shoulder as your thumbs dig between his shoulder blades. You tried not to gasp when you felt the all knots going up his back. It has just occurred to you how little mind he must pay to taking care of himself for it to get this bad. Pain was a staple of his everyday life, why waste time to try and remedy it? Despite the ability to heal, the constant state of tension still took an immense toll on his body.
Logan leaned into your touch and practically melted under your fingers as he tentatively sipped his beer. If he were to turn around and look at your face, he'd see your complexion flushed bright red. Maybe you were enjoying this a little too much, and you chastised yourself for thinking that way. Little did you know all the scandalous thoughts Logan let his mind run away with on a daily basis when he was around you.
Your hands quickly grew weary working into the solid muscle, but you pushed through it for him. You know he needed this by the way his eyes were now closed and soft hums that left his lips. After working across his shoulders, you finally made your way to his neck. Logan let his head fall forward completely as your knuckles broke up the bundled-up nerves beneath his skin. The tightness in him was able to come loose a bit for the first time in a long, long time.
"Whew," you withdrew your hands and shook them out, "hopefully it feels a bit better now."
"It does," a smile crept up on his face that he tried to supress with each word. "That really was somethin', thank you."
You sat back down across from him and remained mostly silent after that apart from the occasional yawn. A single beer not quite enough to offer a buzz, but enough to lull you out of your wired state.
"Think I'm going to call it a night. You should, too. Danger room is on the itinerary first thing in the morning."
"Yeah, well you can tell Charles where to stick his itinerary." Logan was determined to make you smile one last time before you parted ways- and he succeeded.
He walked behind you on your way back down the hall, wishing the journey was not as quick as it was. Your room came up a few doors before his. Logan almost followed you into your bedroom before he shook himself out of auto pilot. It was like a habit that hadn't been formed yet. He belonged next to you in that bed, he knew because he felt it in every fibre of his being.
"Goodnight, Logan. Sleep well."
"I definetly will now. Goodnight, sweetheart."
Sweetheart. There it was again. You convince yourself it couldn't of meant anything.
When you gently shut the door behind you, time had resumed yet again. That little bubble wherein only the two of you existed had been popped.
He lied about going back to sleep, holding on to the delusion that he didn't need it. Besides, he didn't want to say goodbye to your essence. You still filled his senses, if only just barely. A deep inhale could capture your scent, and your breathing could faintly be heard if he really listened. Logan stood outside your door until the sun started to rise before he snuck back in his room.
He never ended up replacing Scott's beers.
As time went by, your encounters with eachother became more and more frequent. Excuses to talk were no longer required. You enjoyed Logan's company, as he did yours. There was no reason to pretend, you were just two friends growing closer by the day.
You gradually opened up to one another and Logan started to confide in you. Any insight on himself or his past was kept brief, giving carefully worded and vague details. You knew better than to push him for more than he was wiling to give and he liked that about you. Whenever the confusion, the regret, or the pain would get too much, he turned the conversation back to you. The more he learned about you as a person, the more his mind circled all his thoughts back to you.
Neither side knew, however, what things the other was keeping to themselves. You couldn't tell him how the casual touches felt different from him than how it felt with your other male friends. You couldn't tell him how hard it was to think when you would run into him all sweaty after an intense training session. You couldn't tell him that when you held onto your pillow at night, you wish it had his warmth.
And he couldn't tell you that you were the first thing he thought of in the morning. He couldn't tell you how he had a favorite pair of jeans that your ass looked best in. He couldn't tell you that he committed every detail about you to memory- from the curve of your lips to the way you say his name.
Anyone who saw the way Logan looked at you could deduce there was something more going on beneath the surface. Scott would tease him about it and he would swiftly shut it down. Jean and Ororo would pry you for details, only for you to tell them there was nothing going on with you and him. They didn't buy it. No one bought it.
All the words unsaid eventually built up so high it was suffocating. It was getting harder and harder to behave like normal around eachother, not knowing where the boundaries were and if it was okay to cross them. Something had to give.
It started out as a regular Friday evening with the team gathered together, watching movies and playing cards. Your initial plan was to work late into the night. Small, tedious tasks has accumulated as you had focused on more pressing matters throughout the week. Charles was having the X-Men find mutants at a pace more efficient than ever before which corresponded with an increased workload on your front.
You were leaving in the morning on a trip for the long weekend and you were determined to finish everything before you left. Ororo was always the one to break you out of your paperwork prison and get you to live a little. "Come on, everyone's waiting for you to come down before we put on the next movie."
"Storm, if I don't do this now, it will never get done."
"Oh, please. You worked so hard all week. Everything here can wait until you get back," your friend watches you as you roll your eyes and continue sorting files. Good thing she had a little trick up her sleeve, "...and Logan wants to see you before you leave."
"He said that...?" you inquire in an almost pathetic manner. She nodded but truthfully, he didn't have say it. She knew it was true all the same.
After dragging you downstairs you scanned the common room, everyone talking amongst themselves with a glass in hand. Everyone except Logan. Ororo had pulled a similar scheme to get him to come out of his self isolation, but when he saw you weren't there earlier, he decided to skip the socializing and retire to his room.
Jean, ever the fast thinker, was in on the plan, "Hey, we were thinking about ordering takeout. Can you do me a favor and see if Logan wants anything?" She hands you a menu knowing you wouldn't pass up a chance to be helpful to a friend.
Logan sat in darkness on the edge of his bed, rubbing his temples and groaning. He truly didn't mean to blow everybody else off. In actuality, he enjoyed shooting the shit with the mutants he was slowly starting to recognize as his family. Tonight was different, however.
Frustration was pushing him to his limit. He still wasn't any closer to finding the missing pieces to his puzzle. Charles told him these kind of things take time. He was sick of hearing that, he needed answers now. His sanity depended on it.
Only one thing was certain- another person had done this to him. There was no doubt the wiping of his memories was a deliberate effort on somebody's part. That wasn't the only thing. The recurring visions of being horrified at his own self, the sickening realization he was changed into something he hadn't been before haunted him on the daily. Is my body really my own?
All of this made worse by the multiple birthdays of a couple of students this past month. Simple things everyone knew about themselves- when and where they were born- was a luxury he was not afforded. Logan felt himself slipping, the feelings that were out of his control eating away at him.
A knock at the door stopped his thoughts in its tracks. "Logan? You there?" Only but a half hour earlier, you were the only person he wanted to see. But now that he has succumbed further down his spiral of self pity in that short amount of time, he didn't want you to see him like this.
"What do you want?" His uncharacteristically cold tone made you wince behind the door. As much as he needed you to pull him out of the hole he dug for himself, the dark recesses of his mind were commanding him to push you away.
"We're ordering takeout. Jean needs to know if you want anything."
"I'm not hungry." He was silently begging for you to walk away before he said something he would regret.
"Can I please come in?" You pleaded, hoping he'd recognize the worry in your voice. This wasn't like him.
"Fine," he grumbled. At the end of the day, Logan could never say no to you.
The door squeaked as you inched it open. You could barely makeout his silhouette in the dark. With a flick of a switch, the space was illuminated. "Is everything alright, Lo? You're scaring me."
Careful footsteps slowly brought you to stand before him. The air in the room was undoubtedly charged. Every action you now took was deliberate, as if trying not to startle a feral animal.
"You wouldn't be the first person that's ever scared of me," he spat out his words like daggers.
As serious as the conversation felt, you couldn't help a scoff from escaping you. You sat down next to him on the bed mere inches apart, "that's not what I mean and you know it. Stop being so obtuse and tell me what's going on."
"Nothing is going on, believe me," Logan sighed. His demeanor immediately softened just from having you close. He buried his face in his palm- an insecure gesture you've rarely seem him perform. But when he did, you knew exactly what it meant.
"Bullshit. I know you better than this, Logan." Maybe you were getting through to him.
Something about what you said must have struck him the wrong way as he tensed back up again. "You don't know me at all, actually."
"How can you say that? We see eachother almost every single day! Come on, now... You can't be serious," you playfully nudge his knee against your own, trying to lighten the mood.
"No, I am serious. How can you know me when I don't even know myself? You don't know what I've done and how many people I've had to do it to. I don't even know any of the fucking details but I know it ain't anything good, sweetheart." He watched outside himself as he was taking his inner frustration out on you.
Logan knew it wasn't right to speak to you this way when you were just trying to be there for him. As much as it stung in the moment, you tried not to take it personally. He was hurt and he needed you, that much was clear.
"Listen to me for just one second," you braced yourself, unsure how he would take what you were about to say. "I know what kind of man you are. And I don't need to know your entire damn history to be certain of that."
All he could do was stare blankly at your face as he processed your words. Without waiting for a response you continued, "How can I be so sure? Because I see it in everything you do, Logan. It's in the way you treat Rogue and the other kids, treat your teammates, treat me. I can't tell you that you've never had to hurt anyone, but you know what? I have faith in you. Faith that whatever may have happened in your past, you've learned from and are a better man for it."
A long period of silence sat between you. It wasn't exactly a comfortable silence, but the charge in the air had definetly diffused. You held his stare, now was not the time to back down. There was a chance you were finally getting through to him and you needed to make it clear you meant every word that you just said.
After a prolonged moment to properly think about what you were saying to him, the look on his face transformed into something you couldn't quite put your finger on. A look that was warm, and you could go as far to say it was a look that was loving.
Logan did indeed love you. He loved the way you didn't try to tame him, how you not only didn't shy away from the less savory aspects of his life- you met them head on with tenderness and understanding.
With this love came great guilt. You had a way of making Logan feel like the world had more to offer than just loss and suffering, for this he was grateful. Still, the feeling he deserved to suffer alone gnawed at him until his gut felt raw. If he were to send for you everytime he needed you, you would be a way busier woman than you already were. The fact that you always made time for him without the semblance of hesitation wasn't lost on him, either.
"How are you so sweet?" he croons as he caressed your cheek with the back of his hand. Logan was always gentle with his touch when it came to you, but the softness of his actions in this moment shocked even yourself. "You're too sweet for me, darlin'. Wouldn't want anything to change that."
It almost made you sick to your stomach how just barely your bodies were connected in this moment. He kept his touch as light as a feather as he trailed his hand down your neck before it made it's temporary home on your shoulder. "Say something, sweetheart," he pleaded as a firm squeeze brought you back to reality. Logan needed more of your words to keep him grounded. "Please."
"Logan, I..." your brain scrambled as you tried to gather your thoughts. The way you felt for him was so foreign to you. You couldn't put it into words right now no matter how badly you wanted to. This feeling could only properly be put into actions- an action older than language itself.
Without thinking, you close the gap and press your lips to his- Logan's bottom lip captured between your own. In his wildest dreams, he never thought you would be the one to make the first move and initiate a kiss. The hand that wasn't on your shoulder now cupped your face. He held you there, afraid you'd slip away from him.
"I'm sorry... I know it probably isn't the right time for this," you whispered against his lips.
"Mmm," Logan emitted a small chuckle into your mouth as he went in for a deeper kiss this time. More intense, hungry. His beard burned deliciously when it scuffed your skin. "Never a wrong time to kiss ya, sweet girl."
Now that he has felt your velvety soft lips, he knew he would never be able to get enough. His desire for you overrided his shame. Logan got a taste of what it would be like if you were his. From this point on, he wouldn't be able to hold back anymore. The floodgates were now open and he couldn't wait to pour himself all over you.
He pulled his face away from yours, still holding your body close, "all this just for you to leave in the morning, huh?" Logan looked down at you through half-lidded eyes. His mind was in a daze, in such bliss now that the invisible barriers between you were finally being torn down.
"Oh please, I'll only be gone for a few days." Even though the trip you were about to go on was a long time coming, you wouldn't mind throwing all your plans away just to be in Logan's arms all weekend. "Why, you gonna miss me that bad?"
"I always miss my girl when she's gone," he couldn't help all the syrupy words from flowing from his mouth. Inhibitions were nonexistent to Logan in this moment and he couldn't say anything but exactly what was on his mind.
He was right. You were his girl. In every sense of the word. His girl whose face would light up everytime he walked into a room. His girl who would save him a plate whenever he was late to dinner. His girl who would always make sure he was comfortable and had everything he needed. His girl who would do absolutely anything for him- all he had to do was ask. Logan had owned your heart for a while now.
You fiddle with the seams at the bottom of his tank, fingers brushing his abdomen underneath. It was enough to make you both shiver. "Just do me a favor while I'm away, Lo."
Jesus, how his pulse quickened everytime you called that little nickname. I'm so fucked, he thought. What a fool he was to think he was ever in control. Since the moment the two of you met, his heart belonged to you as well. "And what is that you need me to do?"
"Try not to be so hard on yourself," you punctuate your request with a chaste kiss to the apple of his cheek. You felt his face lift as a smile reached his eyes. "Shit... I haven't even finished packing," it has just now dawned on you.
The realization he couldn't keep you next to him in bed forever hit him like a brick- another bubble popped. It's a shame, but he told himself there will be plently of opportunities to conjure up the little worlds you built together. He had no other option but to placate his burning desire for the time being.
"Well, don't let me keep you any longer," Logan hesitatantly let go of his grip on you. He got up to escort you the few steps from the bed to the door. Excessive, yes. But so necessary all the same.
Just as your hand was reaching to turn the handle, turned your back to the door to embrace him. It took your entire wingspan to wrap your arms around his broad form. Logan's warmth was absolutely addictive. He held on to the back of your head with his face buried in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.
"Just in case I don't catch you first thing in the morning..." you whispered as you caress up and down his back, "goodbye, Lo."
"Goodbye, sweetheart," he withdraws from his burrow within your hair to slip his lips between yours again. "Think of me while you're gone, will ya."
"Always do."
And with that, you were apart again. As you were folding clothes to go into your suitcase, you couldn't help but think about how well the two of you clicked into place. He already had you longing to feel his body up against your own again. You fell asleep imagining all the places you'd let his hands explore when you got back. Logan laid in his bed doing the same.
Fin.
#canât wait for the reunion OP#this was amazing and deserves more notes!!!!!!#logan fic#logan fluff
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I hate smoking but shotgunning literally makes my ***** throb
Heyoooo, i just read your say it louder and im in love with that so much like holy, so i was wondering if you could make something kinda similar or something? like maybe logans chasing reader because she stole his cigars and they have a cute moment or something along those lines, maybe end a bit with or with smut? thanks so much babes!
Mine Now | DOFP!Logan Howlett x F!Reader
Warnings: Primal!Logan, Scent Tracking, Shotgunning His Cigar, Marking, Implied Smut, Reader is a Mutant who has invisibility, Enemies to Lovers because Iâm a sucker for pain, Takes place at the very end of DOPF when Logan comes back to the future, Pain Kink, Breathing Play, Choking, Claws come out â I repeat the claws come out,
Rating: R â No Minors
Word Count: 4.5K
Authorâs Note: Thank you so much for your request! This was a blast to write and honestly? It gave me a good excuse to write for DOFP!Logan! I adore you! đ Also completely unrelated side noteâŚ.you did say you wanted smut, right??? Because I may, or may not, have spaced you said cutesy and went right to horny.
To be tagged in any future work of mine, please fill this out.
âHank, have you seen her?â Logan asks, his voice layered with annoyance. You couldnât help but silently snicker as you watched his brow crease, his nose twitch with frustration, his finger rapping at his side impatiently. The way his jaw ticked as Hank narrowed his own eyes at him made it impossible to hold your laughter, even when you were currently pressed up against the wall â a clear view of the situation going down. You pulled your lip between your teeth as you homed in on Loganâs features, eyes glimmering with rage. It was such a beautiful sight to see, one you have been dreaming of for months. Though youâd never openly admit it, everyone knew, all except him. You had to make the chase worth his while.
Logan Howlett is a force to be reckoned with, everyone told you that. When Charles and Eric first recruited you to teach with them in New York â you thought it was a joke, a cruel one at that. Living paycheck to paycheck in a hole in the wall Hellâs Kitchen apartment, dealing with constantly screaming and fighting from your neighbors, it wasnât where you wanted to be. You were a survivor, you could adapt to anything, but after what you had experienced, you needed a fresh start. Working at a local diner, making shit for tips wasnât ideal, but it was enough to help you save to leave. Where would you go prior to this? You had no idea, but someplace that experiences winter â you always loved the snow. But alas, that dreary November day a few years ago changed everything; It changed you. Meeting Logan on your first day told you everything you needed to know about him â he refuses to get close to anyone, you wanted to break that.
It's been three years since you first met Logan, two since you found yourself thinking he was cute, a year since you felt yourself falling for him, and six months since you started the cat and mouse chase. At first with how standoffish Logan was to you, you started to resent him. A year it took before that all fell to the wayside; Your feelings had shifted when you found him outside one night, crying as he smoked his cigar. Of course, your mutation left you able to turn invisible, able to watch him, without him knowing you were there. Through the heavy rain your smell was masked, he couldnât tell you were there. But it made you feel closer to him; He wasnât some robot who didnât have emotions. He felt them too strong, which is why when he started to slip back into his mind, he pulled away. Being over 200 years old meant he saw some shit, lost people he loved, it took a toll on him after a while. That day forward you stopped keeping your distance, but instead made the effort to be near him, to show him you werenât going anywhere.
Slowly you noticed how Logan started to open up to you, telling you stories of when he was young, his first mission with the X-Men. You got to learn a lot about The Wolverine, and come to find out he wasnât a hard ass â he was sincere, doting, downright admirable. What he dealt with in his years fucked him up horribly to where he didnât trust people easily â but it didnât make him less. He always pushed forward and strove for success, to survive. He wouldnât classify himself as a hero, but he was to you, and he deserved to know. Logan found himself trusting you easily after a year, his lonely nights stuck in his own head turned into game nights with you, strolls through the garden, getting a drink at the bar downtown. He could still be himself, but not have to carry the baggage by himself all the time. Falling hopelessly in love with him was inevitable, but also impossible. Nothing more could happen between the two of you and you knew that â but there was still a flicker of hope in your mind that wouldnât quiet down. Especially with how flirty Logan had become with you.
 Usually, he was like this with Jean and Storm, taking it up a notch with them so he could have the last retort. To say he wasnât a ladiesâ man was a lie, he could pull anyone he wanted to. To Logan it was a game, seeing how flustered he could make him teammates â and he loved to win. With you it was different â it wasnât low growls and light touching on your arms, no, it was more. At first to started off to be resting his chin on your shoulder, letting his breath stroke the column of your neck. Slowly it moved out to touches; Holding your waist from behind, rubbing his large hands over your lower stomach, slipping his hands under your shirt to caress your hip. Over the last few weeks though, he upgraded to holding your face, running his calloused thumb across your bottom lip, stealing forehead and cheek kisses before heading out. Rogue and Kitty that you two were dating, even Bobby got in on it â but when you stated you werenât everyone looked at you like you had six heads.
âNo Logan, I have not.â Hank let his eyes pan to where you were hiding as Logan turned away for a moment, giving you a small wink as he played along. After all, this was his idea â well, his and Xavierâs. You had overheard a conversation about how Loganâs cigar smell had been wafting into their classroomâs lately â distracting everyone as Logan taught. Charles had the bright idea for you to nab them and hold them hostage, until Logan learned his lesson. You on the other hand, were far too gone to do that. Instead you decided to take the cigars, but make a game out of it. Little post it notes with clues on where you were hiding, you stored them all over his bedroom and classroom, thanks to Scott. Ever since Jean told you just how primal Logan could get, how good of a tracker he was, you wanted to test it out for yourself. What better way than take the one thing he cannot live without? âWhat happened this time?â
Logan huffed as he ran both of his hands down his face, coming dangerously close to propping his hip against your body. You had to shuffle slightly as he leaned into the wall, letting his head bounce off the wood a few good times. âLittle shit stole my box of cigars.â He looked exhausted, frustrated, and downright sexy. Seeing how lost and irritable he was without them made you smirk, causing you to bite your lip harder to suppress a whimper. You noticed how Loganâs ear perked up as you gulped, his head turning softly. Hank noticed this almost immediately and replied with a whooping laugh. âHa!â You sighed inaudibly as you silently thanked Hank, knowing he used his booming voice to mask your sounds. Holding one of his hands up to Logan, he snickered as he cleared his throat. âIâm sorry that was cruel of me. What I meant to say is, thatâs funny.â Hank let out a small chortle at Loganâs distain, being met with a flash of a middle finger, and claw too. âThanks, asshole,â Logan huffed as he pushed himself off of the wall, running his hand through his hair.
You watched him intently, thanking whoever was listening for making you have the power of invisibility. Being able to listen to everything going down, while Logan has no idea youâre here, made you feel powerful. You heard talks about how your power could be useful, but ultimately not threatening; Now, youâd beg to differ. Though you grew tiresome of the chase, being a fly on the wall versus a real player. It was fun the first two hours this started, but encroaching on hour six â the school clearing out and the sun almost set on the horizon, you grew slightly bored. âHave you tried the library? She likes to hide there.â Hank let out without hesitancy, making your eyes grow wide. It was like an aha moment for you, choosing the most likely place for last. Earlier it was too crowded, people would know you were there the second Logan came looking for you. But now with the young mutants either outside or in the city due to the upcoming weekend, you knew it would be vacant.
âI know her all too well, Hank. Thatâs the first place I looked.â Hearing Logan say that made your heart flutter, made you feel special that he knew you so well. A strong sigh left your lips as Hank coughed, dreamily staring at Logan as you started to walk backwards. Losing your invisibility for a moment, you stood a few feet behind Logan, walking towards the grand staircase that took you to the library. Waving at Hank, you motioned for it as you smirked, causing Hank to laugh. âYou sure?â He asked, nodding behind Logan. As you stood closer to the staircase, you noticed how Logan was sniffing the air â his body growing tense as he spun around. Itâs when he laid his eyes upon you that you knew he was fed up. It wasnât the primal growl and heavy breathing that got to you, but the way his hazel eyes went from green to black in a split section, his chest heaving as he stared at you. âOh shit,â was all you managed to let out as you turned invisible again, running up the stairs.
Everything was a blur to you, running as fast as your body could take you. Three flights to get where you needed to go seemed like forever, when you were being chased by The Wolverine. He had super human speed, a great nose for sniffing things out, he was at the advantage whilst you were at a disadvantage. Even with scent masking, now that you started to sweat it would make you more obvious, especially when the library was empty. Huffing and puffing as you managed two steps at a time, you refused to look back. But you could hear the stomps of Loganâs boots, clearly taking three steps to match you. Silently you prayed to whoever was listening, to get you to the library safe and sound before Logan got you. The last thing you wanted was for him to pin you to the stairs so everyone could see, that was too on the nose.
Reaching the top step of the library, you managed to sway your way through the wooden chairs and tables, giggling to yourself as you were halfway across the room. Due to the grand nature of the library, especially being two floors, it gave you so many good hiding spots. A circular room to see everything, yet hide in plain sight. As you made it over to the spiral staircase for the second level, you had noticed Logan standing at the entrance of the library, huffing and puffing. It made you snort, seeing how riled up he was. You had to admit, it was sexy to see how pissed off he was, causing a fresh wave of your arousal to coat your panties. Logan seemed to have taken note as he sniffed the air, his eyes cutting across the room straight to yours. âCome on out princess,â he growled, flexing his hands at his side. Slowly you crept up the metal staircase for the second level, taking one step at a time to not elicit any sounds. You let your breathing relax, slowing your heart rate as you kept calm, not needing to give yourself away. But Logan could sense you, eyeing the staircase with every move you made. âI got you now.â
A devilish grin fought to claim his mouth as he pounced over the tables, running on all fours as he landed right at the bottom of the staircase. You managed to get all the way up and around, leaving to the right. Multiple aisles of books covered upstairs, as well as the walls, each window let in the dusk light â showing dust particles roaming the air. Your tell-tale shimmer of invisibility was caught in the light a few times, but Logan was too lost to notice. Finding your perfect hiding spot away from prying eyes, you slotted yourself against the endcap of Psychology of Mutants, knowing no one reads these. You could feel the stagnant beating of your heart at times, wondering if it was due to fear or the thrill of the chase. Maybe it was the aspect of it being bittersweet as well; A years long chase with Logan finally reaching its peak. You knew there would never be going back from this, and that was okay. Stealing his cigars wasnât the endgame, it was only the beginning.
âYou canât hide forever you know,â Logan snarled as he reached the top of the landing, huffing as he eyed every shelf. You could see him, nor did you want to, hoping to God he chose to head left instead of right. Alas you were sorely mistaken as his heavy steps started to echo right, causing you to curse under your breath. SNIKT, you heard the metallic sound echoing through the room, but also your mind, causing you to whimper. Logan had unsheathed his claws, holding them out. The idea of him using the claws on you, pinning you down with them, holding them against your neck made your body run hot, your arousal heightening as the thoughts ran rampant through your mind. âI will catch you.â It was not a threat but a fact, Logan was not kidding anymore. The animal inside of him was taking over, leaving the Logan you knew behind. This was all caused because you pushed him to the point of no return, and you fucking loved it. The reverberation of his claws against the wooden shelves made you shudder, knowing how close he was getting now.
Biting down hard on your lip, you placed your hand over your mouth, trying to regain control of your breathing. Being right across from the last window on the right didnât do you any good, especially with the beam of light falling through. If you moved even a millimeter, you were going to be made. Itâs then when you opened your eyes to pan to your left that you saw his shadow encroaching on you, his stance wide as his claws were pointed at the ground. Each gruff huff he let out made your eyes roll back, finding it harder and harder to keep yourself hidden. You couldnât look away from him either, you needed to watch him; How the sweat beaded at his hairline, how his little tufts of hair were wild from pulling at them, how his snarl got more animalistic the longer he tried to look for you. âWhere did you go?â You couldnât describe how Logan sounded in that moment; Primal and animalistic do not even begin to crest.
You focused too much on his tone, completely forgetting your watchful eye on him. When you glanced back after trying to calm yourself, you noticed the 6â2 Wolverine was no longer walking his way towards the aisles but vanished into thin air. Not knowing where he was, made your heart rate skyrocket â panic ensuing all over your body. Goosebumps arose across your skin as you pondered where he could be, afraid to move in case he was lurking close to you. Maybe he went off to the left instead, leaving you by yourself to escape. It would make sense, considering how you heard the creaking of the floorboards on the opposite side now. Letting out a concealed breath, you slowly moved away from the end cap of the shelf, leaving your back exposed. You knew it was a mistake when the hot, stifling air of the closed space became ice cold, a shiver falling down your spine. The sun shifted away in that moment, blanketing the area in darkness, complete with only a sliver of light, not even to cast shadows. The second your back was exposed; All hell broke loose.
Two strong hands grabbed hold of your hips, pulling you back into a solid form. The yelp you let out was loud enough to echo, but not loud enough to raise suspicion. The strain on your powers had gotten to be too much, slowly slipping back into being visible. You huffed out as your back connected with his chest, your hands finding purchase on his muscular forearms. âThere you are little mouse.â He snickered in your ear, pressing his nose to the pulse point of your neck. Logan deeply inhaled at the vein, his teeth barring to nip at your exposed shoulder. It felt good to have his mouth on you, to have him seemingly obsessed with your scent. After all, it is what gave you away. Whimpering out, you dug your nails into Loganâs arm, feeling the reverberation of his snarl through your body. You couldnât speak, you couldnât move â you were a lost cause. âWhatâs the matter, cat got your tongue?â
Logan was mocking you at this point, purposely being a little shit to mimic how you have been with him. When it came to his cigars, he wasnât fucking around. But when he knew it was you who took them, well he wasnât going to let you live this down. Logan moved from behind you, but kept his hands grasping your flesh. Moving to the side, he pressed your back against the end cap again, bringing you back to your original position. His right hand remained on your hip as his left grasped your neck, pressing against your pulse point, feeling the thrum of blood on your veins. The edges of your vision began to go fuzzy due to the restricted blood flow, but you didnât care. Logan was putting you right in your place, and you were obeying so well for him. âI believe you have something of mine,â he murmured; His prominent nose pressing harshly against your cheek. The warmth of his breath on your skin, mixed with the cold drag of his claws against your skin made you shiver, loving how it felt too much. âI donât know what youâre talking about.â You laughed out, clearly laced with thrill.
Logan didnât take too kindly to you playing dumb, the tick in his jaw spoke measures. His grip on your neck was heavier than before, using his full weight to restrict your blood flow quicker, your vision developing black dots. âOh, you donât?â The challenged in his voice said all you needed to know â he was fucking desperate. There was no hiding it now, he needed you â not his cigars, but you. Gulping down against his large hand, you felt the press of his claws against the back of your neck, pushing through the wood of the bookshelf to lock you in place. He would never intentionally draw blood, or hurt you, but he knew this was your deepest fantasy, all thanks to Jean relaying it. His lips were inches from your ear as he chuckled darkly, groaning out against the flesh. âDo I need to jog your memory?â You shouldnât have been as turned on by that as you were. Your knees buckled slightly as you almost fell, your eyes rolling back into your head.
Logan took advantage of your eyes being closed to pull his hand away from your hip. The loss of touch made you whine, but quickly you were quieted by his roughened tugs. Grabbing at the edge of your tank top, Logan ran his claws through the fabric to create slits, ripping them open just as easily. Looking down at your jeans, he could see the bulge in your pocket â where you had hidden a few of his cigars. A huff of relief fell from his parted lips as she cut your pocket open, letting them fall right into his hand. He mimicked your hiding and shoved them into his own pocket, moving on to the next. The cool breeze against your exposed skin made you quickly heat up; Logan using his claws on you made you lose your fucking mind. He repeated his efforts with your other side, making matching holes in his jeans and shirt, not caring anymore.
It was as the last few cigars rolled out of your pocket that Logan pulled back, his heavy body heat no longer suffocating you. The contact was missed, causing you to pout slightly. âBoo hoo hoo,â Logan mocked as he watched you, walking backwards to push his back against the window. The sill right below it was begging him to sit, so he took advantage of it. Reaching into his left pocket, Logan pulled out his Zippo lighter â flicking it against his pants to ignite the flame. It was intoxicating watching him, how effortlessly fluid his motions were. Biting your cheek, you watched him intently, his eyes never leaving yours. He pulled out the precut cigar from his pocket and pushed it between his lips, favoring his left side for it to rest between his teeth. Lighting the end until the cherry burned bright, he took a few quick puffs, blowing the smoke out in a cloud around him.
Your eyes could not pull away from him even if you tried, it was nearly impossible. The way he moved was like silk through the wind, so effortless and elegant; He knew he was hot like this. Taking another quick drag, Logan let the smoke fall from his lips as he tucked the cigar back in between his teeth, putting away his lighter. Reaching forward with his claws still extended, he hooked two of the blades into the belt loop of your jeans, tugging you forward. There was about a personâs space between the bookshelf and the window, making it easy for him to grab at you. Of course, your body obeyed his silent command, tripping slightly as you tried to regain your footing. Placing both of your hands on his thick, warm thighs, you licked your lips. The smoke being released from both the cigar and his mouth captured your attention, making it difficult to focus on what he was saying. The way his motions flowed were so smooth, it was impossible to say anything else to him.
Taking a rather large drag of his cigar, he puffed his cheeks out a bit to hold it all in. It took you by surprise, why he was holding it all in his mouth. Retracting his claws on his right hand, Logan grabbed at your jaw like a man possessed, pushing his meaty fingertips into your flesh. The slight ache of his possessiveness made your mouth part, a pained look on your face that you were lost in. Logan got close to you, his lips only mere inches away from your mouth as you whimpered. With your lips parted, Logan mimicked your motions as he breathed out. The soft, heady tendrils of smoke wafted from his mouth into yours, causing you to let them stir. Tobacco mixed with the sweetness of the wrap caused your eyes to dilate, boring into Logan with pure unadulterated lust. There was no mistaking it as he shotgunned his cigar with you, his smirk prevalent. âThatâs my good girl.â He crooned, taking in your big eyes, the heat of your skin â basking in your glory.
You blew the smoke right back at Logan while he chuckled, licking his lips to wet them as he took another puff. There was something so intoxicating about how you reacted, it was like watching a painting come to life. From the first day he met you, he knew you were something else â he had to challenge you. Almost four years later and youâre still trying to get with him, he admired it. Finally, the silent love he had for you could be shown, but he wasnât going to make it easy for you. You made him work to catch you, now you had to work to get what you wanted. âGet on your knees.â The command fell off of Loganâs lips so naturally you almost didnât catch it at first. Your eyes glossy as you watched him, your brain not keeping up. Narrowing his eyes at you, he cocked his brow as he laid the cigar to the side, watching to see your reaction. âIâm sorry?â You questioned without realizing, your face slack with lust.
Reaching forward towards you, Logan grabbed your neck once more, this time yanking you so close to his face that you felt his breath waft over your features. âGet. On. Your. Fucking. Knees.â There was no hesitation in Loganâs voice as he stated his command, letting his face go rigid to show he was getting pissed off. âDonât make me repeat myself.â You wanted to, every fiber of your being wanted to disobey him, make him angry so he was rough with you â at the same time you didnât want to make him mad, not yet anyway. Nodding to him against his hand, you slipped down to your knees easily with a moan, pressing out your wet bottom lip as you gazed up at him.
Logan rolled his eyes as he grabbed the cigar again, pressing it against your lips. Itâs when you take a drag of it that he pulls out, putting it in his own mouth once more. With his hand now free from holding his cigar, he quickly flicked open his belt buckle, undoing the top button on his jeans as you took the silent command to pull his zipper down. His erection was stiff against his jeans and left nothing to the imagination. He was big, he was hot, and he was fucking turned on. Watching you with a lustful glow in his eyes, Logan groaned as he watched you, never letting you have the last word: âYou may have started the game princess, but I am going to finish it.â
----
Tagging: @livelaughl0ve3 @mehjustalasshere @allen-444 @begaytotallygay @tezooks @hughj1d @mami-veracruz @salemslostwitch @karencaribou @princesstarble @dirtylittlefairytales @hbwrelic @mosscrissfemmefatale @pinkanonwriting @craziersarah98 @actuallybridgetjones @silversprings-mp3 @lokidovahkiin
#the act is possessive and hot and it does things to me#the chase was so good esp in a fucking library#my heart would be in my throat is I knew he was sniffing me out#logan smut#logan fic
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Youre fanfic âTiny Dots on Endless Timelineâ was so goood! you should make a part 2 about how the two met it would be cute
Thank you so much for enjoying my fic, anon!
I actually have a scenario in my head on how they meet and the circumstances and it is on my list of writings I want to accomplish. I will say I probably won't start working on it until the holidays are over, but even then no promises (as to not get any hopes up).
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Me to myself while reading this fic oh LAWD
This was so fucking SCRUMPTIOUS!! Read part of it while in line at the fucking Burlington Coat Factory because I couldnât put it down. The chemistry between these two was so strong and well described.
âAny current boyfriends? Partners? You know, so I can adjust my expectations for the night?â MY JAW DROPPED
PHEW this was just something else đľâđŤđŠ thank you for sharing
Celebration - Professor!Logan x F!Reader (NSFW)
Summary: You celebrate your gratuation with your friends at a small pub, when Professor Logan Howlett comes in. Your plans are forgotten, when your friends make you go talk to him.
Warning: SMUT, like almost Porn with no plot (40% plot/60% porn), sub!Logan (if you squint), but defo dub!Logan, Age gap (not described but there is). So please do not interract if you're under 18.
AN: So I aske dyou all a question a while ago what you'd prefer Professor!Logan or Professor!PeĂąa, and democracy won, choosing Logan :) No beta read all the mistakes are my own... And I am not a history know it all, so apologies if I messed something up. I listened to an amazing Steven Rodriguez writing this, so I recommend this: Like you mean it
Words: 12 875 (let's just establish I can't write anything short, ok?)
The pub hummed with life as you stepped inside, your friends at your side. It was a cozy space, nestled between two old bookshops, with wooden beams that creaked under the weight of a hundred conversations and warm, amber lights casting shadows over shelves lined with bottles of spirits. The smell of hops and laughter filled the air, carrying with it the sweet release of months of hard work and sleepless nights. You, Kate, and Ethan found a booth near the window where the noise was lively but not overwhelming, and you could savour the first celebratory drinks as newly minted graduates.
Kate slid into the seat across from you, her auburn hair falling in waves that shimmered under the pub lights. She raised her glass, eyes glinting with mischief. "To historyâand making it ourselves!"
Ethan, ever the practical joker with his sharp grin and mop of dark curls, added, "And to you surviving Professor Logan Howlettâs class with an A, of all things. Who does that? Seriously, cheers to the legend sitting right here."
You couldn't help but laugh, the sound bubbling up with a mix of relief and triumph. The past year had been a marathon of research, late nights in the university library, and the constant weight of expectations. But tonight, it felt like the world had paused in recognition of your efforts.
The conversation flitted between shared memories, plans for the future, and teasing hints of freedom that came with finishing your masterâs. Then Kateâs eyes flicked over your shoulder, and she leaned forward, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Don't look now, but the Professor is here."
Your heart stumbled, then thudded in your chest. Professor Logan Howlett. You didnât have to turn around to conjure the image: intense hazel eyes that seemed to strip the world down to its truths, sharp cheekbones, and that perpetual five oâclock shadow that gave him a rugged, almost cinematic presence. He was a paradox, embodying the kind of strength that could either crush or uphold.
Ethan smirked, nudging you with his elbow. "Go on. Say hi. He canât be that scary now that youâve graduated, right?"
A pulse of panic and excitement washed through you, your fingers tightening around the condensation on your glass. Talking to Professor Howlett outside of the academic halls was like stepping into a new, unscripted world. You'd spent two years working under him, first as a student, then as a teaching assistantâyour admiration morphing into something deeper, something unspoken.
âDo it,â Kate urged, her eyes wide and teasing. âOr weâll drag you over there ourselves.â As you sat there and glared at them, the memories of your first class with him came floating around in your head.Â
The lecture hall was cavernous, its high, vaulted ceilings making the room feel more like a courtroom than a place of learning. Afternoon light slanted through the tall, arched windows, illuminating the dust motes that danced in the heavy silence. Students settled into their seats, shuffling notebooks and pens, whispering speculations about the infamous Professor Logan Howlett.
You were seated in the second row, close enough to see the fine lines etched at the corners of his eyes when he entered, but not so close as to draw unwanted attention. He walked in without hesitation, his stride confident and direct, the leather-bound notebook in his hand looking worn and familiar. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing forearms marked with faint scars, as if he had spent years grappling with more than just books. A single glance from him silenced the low murmur of conversation.
âHistory,â he began, the timbre of his voice deep and almost harsh, âis not a collection of anecdotes to pad out your evenings or score points at a dinner party. It is humanityâs attempt to interpret its own mistakes and, if weâre lucky, avoid repeating them.â
The air seemed to thicken with each word. He scanned the rows, eyes sharp and assessing, daring anyone to interrupt him. Some students shifted uncomfortably; a few glanced at each other, already regretting their choice of elective. You, however, felt your pulse quicken, a spark of defiance lighting somewhere inside you.
âLetâs start with a question,â he said, placing the notebook on the lectern and crossing his arms. âThe Treaty of Westphalia. Why is it heralded as the cornerstone of modern statehood, and why is that view so fundamentally flawed?â
A heavy silence followed. It stretched on, pregnant with challenge, and you saw a flicker of annoyance cross his face. Without giving it much thought, your hand rose.
His eyes landed on you, their intensity making you feel momentarily pinned. âYes?â The single word carried the weight of expectation.
You swallowed, your voice steadying as you spoke. âThe Treaty of Westphalia is praised for ending the Thirty Yearsâ War and introducing the concept of state sovereignty, but it didnât resolve the deeper conflicts. It merely froze them, ensuring that the problems would fester beneath the surface for years.â
A few heads turned, eyes widening at the audacity of challenging the professor in the opening moments of his lecture. Logan Howlettâs brows lifted, but it wasnât disapproval that shone in his eyesâit was interest.
âGo on,â he said, the room holding its breath.
You sat up straighter, emboldened by his response. âThe Treaty was a political bandage, not a cure. It shifted power among nations but ignored the religious and economic fractures that had fueled the conflict. It set the precedent for power politics without addressing the human costs.â
A silence, sharper now, fell over the room. He stepped away from the lectern, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back as if appraising a painting. A smile ghosted across his lips, subtle and fleeting.
âInteresting perspective,â he said, a challenge threading through his words. âBut youâre missing the other side of the argument. Yes, it wasnât perfect. Yes, it allowed the wounds to fester. But it also introduced diplomacy as an alternative to the perpetual war that defined earlier centuries. Would you rather the conflict had raged indefinitely, bleeding nations dry?â
The corner of your mouth twitched, a thrill running through you as you realised he was inviting the exchange. âDiplomacy born out of exhaustion isnât sustainable. The treaty was signed not out of genuine reconciliation but mutual weakness. It was a temporary truce, not a triumph of peace.â
He nodded slowly, the light catching in his hazel eyes as if amused by your boldness. âWell argued. But if history were only about pointing out what didnât work, weâd all be critics instead of scholars. The point is to study why such measures are taken and how they shape the world that follows.â
The room seemed to exhale collectively, but you held his gaze, a silent acknowledgment passing between you. In that moment, you knew two things: this class would not be easy, and you were more than ready for it.
Your heart thudded in your chest as Kate's nudge sent a jolt through you. The warmth of the pub, with its golden glow and the chorus of laughter and clinking glasses, faded into the background as you glanced over at himâProfessor Logan Howlett. Logan. The name still felt too intimate to think, let alone say, but tonight, that barrier seems thinner.
He stood at the bar, broad shoulders relaxed in a rare display of ease as he listened to a colleague recount some story, whiskey glass cradled in his hand. The way the light caught in his hazel eyes, illuminating flecks of green and gold, tugged at something deep inside you. He was an enigma: a man whose severity was legendary in lecture halls but who, behind closed doors, revealed glimpses of something more. Something human and achingly real.
You respected him, profoundly so. He wasnât just another academic; he was the academic, the kind of professor whose passion for history electrified a room. His lectures werenât just lessons but challenges, daring students to question and confront the worldâs recorded past with new eyes. He had inspired you to follow in his footsteps, to envision a life dissecting historyâs layers, guiding minds through its labyrinthine tales. Youâd spent long nights thinking about that futureâlecturing, debating, shaping studentsâ perspectives the way he had shaped yours.
Yet somewhere along the way, between debating treaties and arguing over the nuances of your thesis, your admiration had blurred into something messier. It was during the late hours of grading papers together, the silence punctuated only by his dry humour and the scratch of pens, that your heart began to betray you. He was different in those moments. Still grumpy, yes, but there was a warmth that surfacedâa sardonic smile when a studentâs essay was especially absurd, a teasing jab at your meticulous note-taking. And once or twice, when the moon hung low and the world outside seemed distant, you could have sworn he flirted with you.
But that was impossible. Why would a man like himâsharp, captivating, deeply passionate about his workâpay attention to you in that way? It was foolish to even entertain the thought.
Kateâs voice brought you back. âGo on, before he leaves.â
You glanced at Ethan, who shot you an encouraging grin. You took your glass with you, fingers trembling just enough to make you clench your fist to steady them. The walk to the bar felt long, every step magnifying the flutter of nerves in your chest. Youâd faced him in debates, youâd defended your research under his unsparing gaze, but this felt different. This wasnât a controlled environment; this was the unpredictable space of real life.
He turned as you approached, his expression shifting from neutral to surprised, and then softening in a way that made your breath hitch. His eyebrows lifted just slightly, a fleeting look of recognition followed by something you couldnât quite name.
âCongratulations,â he said, the rough edge of his voice sending a thrill down your spine. His eyes caught the light, making them appear warmer than usual, and for a moment, you felt like the only two people in the room.
âThank you,â you managed, feeling a rush of relief that you hadnât tripped over the words. âItâs⌠good to see you, Professor.â
âLogan,â he corrected, the corner of his mouth lifting into a half-smile, but enough to suggest amusement. He glanced at the empty space beside him and shifted, subtly making room. âJoin me?â
You didnât need more than that. You slid into the space, feeling the heat of his presence like a tangible thing. The din of the pub receded just a little, replaced by the thrum of your pulse and the stolen glances that spoke of memories shared late at night over half-empty coffee cups and stacks of research papers.
Logan signalled to the bartender, his hand briefly brushing against yours on the counter as he gestured toward your half-empty glass. âA gift,â he said, his voice smooth, low, and rich with that unmistakable rasp, âfor making it through the gauntlet and surviving me. Some people never do.â
His eyes lingered on yours, his gaze sharp but softened by the teasing glint that rarely broke through his usual stern demeanour. You couldnât help the small smile that tugged at your lips, even as the warmth spreading through your chest made it harder to breathe evenly.
The bartender placed a fresh drink in front of you, and you stared down at it for a moment, letting the hum of the pubâthe chatter, the golden glow of the lights, the low thrum of musicâblur into the background. But it wasnât the atmosphere that anchored you; it was Logan, his quiet confidence and magnetic pull, the way his focus never wavered.
âThanks,â you said, your voice steadier than you felt.
He raised his glass, taking a measured sip of whiskey, the motion deliberate as if he were savouring it. His eyes never left yours, the intensity behind them making your skin tingle. âSo,â he began, his voice carrying that heavy, deliberate weight, âwhatâs next? I canât imagine someone like you doesnât have the next step planned out.â
You couldnât suppress the grin spreading across your face. âWhat makes you think I have a plan at all?â you teased, arching a brow as you lifted your glass to your lips.
The laugh that followed was deep and unrestrained, the sound warm enough to melt the tension in the air while simultaneously sending a shiver down your spine. He set his glass down and leaned forward, his broad frame angling toward you, his focus entirely on you.
âBecause I know you,â he said, his voice quieter now, almost conspiratorial. His eyes crinkled slightly at the corners, amusement playing in the depths of his gaze. âAnd knowing you means Iâd bet youâve got the next thirty years colour-coded and cross-referenced.â
The heat in your cheeks was immediate, and you looked away, biting the inside of your cheek to hide the bashful smile tugging at your lips. It was ridiculous how well he knew youâhow effortlessly he could strip away your defences with a single comment, leaving you feeling both exposed and undeniably seen.
âYou shouldnât look so smug about that,â you muttered, though your voice lacked any real bite.
Logan chuckled, the sound low and rumbling, resonating somewhere deep in your chest. âYouâre right,â he said, leaning closer, his voice dropping an octave that sent a delicious shiver down your spine. âBut itâs hard not to be. Itâs one of the things I like most about you.â
The words hung in the air, sinking into your skin, making your pulse quicken. His eyes, dark and steady, locked with yours, and for a moment, the rest of the world seemed to blur into irrelevance.
âItâs why I asked you to be my TA,â he added, his tone softened but no less intense.
The memory of that moment surged forward, vivid and sharp like it had happened just yesterday.
***
His office had been its usual state of organised chaosâbooks stacked high, papers scattered across the desk, and the faint scent of leather and cologne clinging to the air. The room had always felt like an extension of him: commanding, unrelenting, but with a quiet depth you couldnât help but admire.
You had entered cautiously, the soft creak of the door announcing your arrival. Logan hadnât looked up immediately, too engrossed in whatever notes he was reviewing, his brow furrowed in thought.
When he finally lifted his gaze, his sharp, assessing eyes pinned you in place. âClose the door,â he said, his voice gruff but not unkind. You obeyed, your pulse quickening with a strange mix of excitement and apprehension.
âIâve been thinking,â he started, leaning back in his chair with a creak of worn leather. His fingers tapped against the desk, his eyes studying you with a piercing intensity. âI need a teaching assistant next term. But not just any TA. Someone who wonât nod along to everything I say and write my lectures in their sleep.â
You blinked, caught off guard by the bluntness of his words. âMe?â you stammered, half incredulous, half hopeful.
âYes, you.â A faint smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, softening the edge of his expression. It was a rare sight, one that made your stomach flutter. âI donât usually need help,â he admitted, leaning forward, elbows resting on the desk. âBut you challenge meâand thatâs not something Iâm willing to waste.â
The weight of his words hit you, their meaning sinking in. This wasnât just an offer. It was an acknowledgment, an admission that he saw something in you worth nurturing.
âIt would be an honour,â you said, your voice coming out softer than you intended, tinged with a reverence you couldnât mask.
âGood.â He stood, crossing the room until he stopped just shy of your personal space. His presence filled the room, his gaze holding yours with a quiet intensity that made your breath catch. âDonât make me regret this,â he said, but the teasing edge in his tone softened the warning.
âI wonât,â you had promised, the conviction in your voice leaving no room for doubt.
The way he looked at you thenâlike he believed you entirely, like he knew you would surpass every expectationâwas something youâd carried with you ever since.
***
The memory slipped away like smoke, fading into the background as Loganâs voice cut through the quiet hum of the pub. âYou know,â he said, his tone carrying that familiar teasing lilt, âmost people would kill for a compliment like that from me. And yet, here you are, blushing as if itâs the first time anyoneâs told you youâre remarkable.â
The flush in your cheeks deepened, and you ducked your head, trying to hide the effect his words had on you. âIt was more than an honour,â you murmured, voice shy but unwavering. âWorking with you made me realise how much I wanted to teach. Your classes⌠They made me sure of what I wanted for my future.â
Something flickered across his face then, a shadow of pride mixed with something you couldnât quite name. He got closer, the space between you shrinking until you could feel the subtle warmth radiating from him. âIs that so?â he asked, his voice dropping into a tone both playful and low. âIâm glad to hear it. If I inspired even half of what youâre capable of, then Iâd say I did something right.â
His words sent a warmth curling through your chest, but it was the way he looked at youâsteady, unflinchingâthat made your pulse flutter. He wasnât just paying you a compliment; he was studying your reaction, watching you with a heat that felt almost tangible.
The smoky scent of his cologne teased your senses as he leaned in, close enough that the noise of the pub faded into a faint hum in the background. âCareful,â he murmured, a smirk tugging at his lips. âBlushing like that could make a person think youâre flustered.â
âIâm not,â you shot back, though the warmth blooming across your cheeks betrayed you.
He laughed softly, a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine. âGood,â he said, his eyes lingering on you a moment longer than necessary. âBecause I like seeing you off your game.â
You swallowed hard, torn between embarrassment and exhilaration. âYouâre impossible,â you whispered, trying to muster some semblance of control over the situation.
âAnd yet,â he said, his voice a low drawl as he raised his glass and tapped it lightly against yours, âhere you are.â
The moment stretched between you, heavy with unspoken possibilities. It was a tension youâd never dared to acknowledge until now, and yet, sitting here beside him, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
***
The night unfolded slowly, the warm glow of the pub sinking deeper into the evening. Despite the bustling crowd, you remained anchored in the space beside Logan at the bar. Each shared glance, each quiet laugh between the two of you, felt like the room itself was narrowing its focus, pulling you closer together.
When you reminded him, more than once, that you could buy your own drinks, he waved your protests away with an easy smile. âConsider it back pay for the TA work,â he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up. âAnd believe me, you earned it. Iâm still convinced you deserve a medal for grading that batch of essays on European revolutions. I donât think Iâve ever seen âNapoleonâ spelled with so many variations.â
You laughed, the sound bright and unrestrained. âTo be fair, some of those students were probably just guessing who led the French army.â
âGod help them,â Logan muttered, taking a slow sip of his whiskey before his eyes found yours again, softened by amusement. âHowâs the thesis holding up under post-graduate scrutiny? Still proud of it?â
âMostly,â you admitted, swirling the liquid in your glass thoughtfully. âThere are a few parts Iâd tweak if I could go back. But it did the job, right? Even impressed you.â
ââImpressedâ might be underselling it,â he replied, his voice quieter now, rougher. âIt was ambitious. You couldâve played it safe like most do, but you didnât. You took a risk. That takes guts.â
The warmth in your chest grew at his words, a kind of pride that felt almost too big to contain. âI learned from the best,â you said softly.
Loganâs lips curved into a faint smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. For a moment, the din of the pub seemed to fade entirely, leaving only the sound of his voice and the unspoken connection hanging in the air.
The conversation drifted easily between you, shifting from the late-night research sessions you once shared to the quirks of students youâd both encountered. You told him about the time a student had submitted a paper on the American Revolution that inexplicably included a section on The Beatles. Logan nearly choked on his drink, his deep laugh drawing a few glances from nearby patrons.
âStill proud of the next generation?â you teased, grinning.
âBarely,â he muttered, shaking his head before his smirk returned. âSo, what now? Whatâs next for you outside of history?â
âOutside of history?â you quipped, leaning closer, the bubble of energy between you tightening. âIs there anything outside of history? I donât know, Logan. Iâve spent so much time buried in books, I might as well be a mediaeval monk.â
His eyes sparkled with amusement, but the way he leaned toward you, just slightly, was enough to shift the atmosphere again. âA monk, huh?â he said, his voice low. âSomehow, I doubt that.â
The weight of his words sent a spark racing down your spine, your breath hitching slightly under the intensity of his gaze. Whatever barriers had once existed between you felt thinner now, more fragile. And for the first time, you found yourself wondering what it might mean to finally cross them.
Logan smirked, his sharp eyes tracing the contours of your face, lingering just long enough to make your heart race. âHereâs a real question,â he drawled, his voice low and teasing. âAny current boyfriends? Partners? You know, so I can adjust my expectations for the night.â
The question landed like a spark, setting your pulse racing. You hadnât expected him to go there, but the weight of his attention and the soft buzz of the eveningâs warmth had lowered your defences.
âHa,â you laughed, sharper than intended, but his grin didnât waver. âUni didnât leave much room for that. Most of the guys in my classes werenât exactly my typeâmore interested in keg parties than real conversations.â You hesitated, the alcohol nudging your tongue loose. âAnd, well⌠letâs just say it was usually me and my hand at the end of the day. Boys are boys, after all.â
Loganâs eyebrows shot up, his lips twitching in amusement before he burst into laughter. The sound was deep, rich, and genuine, drawing curious glances from nearby patrons, but you didnât care. Watching him like thisârelaxed and utterly unrestrainedâmade your chest tighten with something unfamiliar.
âGod, I wasnât expecting that,â he said, shaking his head and wiping at the corner of his eye. âYouâre full of surprises, you know that?â
âIs that so?â you countered, emboldened by the way his attention seemed to orbit you entirely.
âOh, it is,â he replied, his voice dipping into something quieter, more intimate. He leaned closer, and the space between you buzzed with an almost electric anticipation.
His hand rested on the bar, the slight movement of his fingers brushing against your arm in a touch so casual it felt deliberate. Your skin prickled at the contact, the warmth of it lingering far longer than it should. Logan was watching you now, his gaze steady and careful, testing your reaction, waiting.
The moment stretched, the tension building with every heartbeat. His fingers moved again, this time trailing lightly over the back of your arm, and the sensation sent a spark straight to your core. You inhaled sharply, your eyes meeting his, and the unspoken words between you hung heavy in the air.
âYou know,â Logan said, his voice dipping lower, rougher, âIâve always liked that you never missed a chance to challenge me. Kept me on my toes.â
âI didnât think you liked being challenged,â you said, your voice softer now, unable to mask the tremor of excitement beneath it.
âOnly when itâs you,â he replied, his tone stripped of humour. There was no teasing in his expression now, only the kind of intensity youâd once seen when he was deep in thought, dissecting an argument. But this was different. This wasnât about academics or debatesâthis was about you. His hand moved deliberately, resting fully on your arm, his touch grounding and possessive all at once.
Your heart thundered in your chest as the realisation hit you. Logan Howlettâyour professor, the man youâd admired from a distance for so longâwas looking at you like you were the only thing in the room. Like heâd been waiting for this moment as much as you had, even if youâd never dared to hope.
âWhy now?â you whispered, the words slipping free before you could stop them. âWhy tonight?â
His eyes narrowed slightly, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. âBecause tonight, youâre not my student.â His voice was a low rumble, rough and magnetic. âAnd Iâm done pretending I havenât noticed the way you look at me.â
Your breath hitched, the weight of his words settling over you. His touch, his gazeâthey made you feel exposed in the best way, like you were finally being seen for exactly who you were.
âAnd how is that?â you managed, your voice trembling under the intensity of his stare.
Logan leaned in closer, his face just inches from yours, so close you could see the flecks of gold in his eyes. The scent of whiskey mixed with something distinctly himâearthy, warm, untamed. âLike Iâm not the only one whoâs been waiting for this,â he murmured.
The tension snapped, and before you could respond, he closed the distance, his lips brushing against yours. The kiss was warm at first, almost hesitant, as if testing the boundaries of something unspoken. But as you leaned into him, your hands finding their way to the back of his neck, his restraint faltered.
Logan groaned softly, the sound vibrating through you, and the kiss deepened. His hand moved from the bar to your waist, gripping firmly as he pulled you closer. The heat between you was undeniable, every brush of his lips against yours igniting something that had been simmering for far too long.
âI want you,â he whispered, his voice raw and full of intent.
His hand slid down your side, his fingers splaying against your hip, and his lips pressed into the curve of your neck. The scrape of his stubble sent shivers down your spine, each touch deliberate, each kiss a promise.
Logan pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his gaze darkened with hunger. âWant to get out of here?â he asked, his voice low, tinged with urgency.
âYes,â you breathed, the answer spilling out without hesitation.
A satisfied smile curved his lips, and he stepped back to let you grab your phone, quickly messaging your friends. Logan signalled the bartender, his impatience visible in the set of his shoulders as he paid the tab.
Outside, the cool night air was a stark contrast to the heat radiating from your skin. Logan hailed a taxi with ease, opening the door and guiding you in with a hand on your hip, the touch lingering.
The ride to his apartment was both too long and too short. The tension simmered between you, heightened by his hand resting on your thigh, his fingers pressing with just enough pressure to make your breath hitch. You let your fingers trail up his arm, teasing, testing, and the muscle in his jaw flexed as he exhaled sharply.
âYouâre going to drive me insane before we even get there,â he muttered, his voice gravelly and laced with heat.
âGood,â you whispered back, leaning in to brush your lips against the edge of his jaw.
His groan was low and full of promise. âJust wait until weâre alone.â
When the taxi finally stopped, Logan paid quickly, his hand never leaving you as he guided you up the steps to his apartment. Inside, the air seemed to shift, the quiet intimacy of the space wrapping around you as Logan closed the door behind you.
Instead of pulling you close again, he surprised you, walking to the kitchen. He returned moments later with a glass of water, handing it to you with a touch that lingered, his eyes scanning your face
âDrink,â Logan said, his voice softer now, the usual teasing edge replaced with something deeper, more serious.
You blinked, momentarily caught off guard by the shift in his tone. âLogan, Iâm fine. Iâm notââ
âI know,â he interrupted, the corners of his mouth twitching into a faint smile, though his eyes stayed steady, sincere. âBut I need you to be completely sure. About this. About us. I donât want any second thoughts in the morning.â
The weight of his words hung between you, settling like a tangible thing in the air. His expression, open and earnest, made your chest tighten. There was no bravado now, no teasing grin or cocky smirkâjust Logan, stripped bare of any pretence, laying everything out in front of you.
You reached for the glass he offered, taking a small sip. The cool water was calming, but more than that, it gave you a moment to breathe, to steady yourself under the intensity of his gaze. He watched you closely, his posture relaxed yet commanding, a quiet possessiveness in the way he moved a step closer as you placed the empty glass down.
âIâm sure,â you said, your voice quiet but firm, the truth ringing clear in your words. âIâm not going to regret this.â
Logan exhaled slowly, his shoulders easing as relief softened the edges of his expression. His hand came up to brush a strand of hair from your face, his thumb grazing your cheek. The warmth of his touch sent shivers down your spine. âGood,â he murmured, his voice low and rough. âBecause I want you to remember this. All of it. How Iâm going to make you mine.â
Your breath caught at the promise in his words, your pulse quickening as his head dipped closer. This kiss wasnât like the ones before. This one was unrestrained, searing, filled with the hunger that had been simmering between you both for far too long. His hands found your waist, his grip firm as he pulled you flush against him, your body moulding perfectly to his.
Your fingers slid into the soft hair at the nape of his neck, tugging slightly, and he groaned into your mouth, the sound reverberating through you. The kiss deepened, and he guided you back, his movements steady but urgent, until the edge of the couch met the back of your knees. You sank down, pulling him with you, and he followed without hesitation.
His lips trailed from your mouth to your jaw, lingering there before moving lower, finding the sensitive spot just below your ear. When his teeth grazed your skin, you gasped, the sharp sensation sending a jolt of pleasure through you.
Logan paused, pulling back just enough to take in the flushed look on your face, the way your chest rose and fell with quick, shallow breaths. His dark eyes roamed over you, full of intent and unmistakable hunger, and he shook his head slightly, as if marvelling at the sight before him.
âBeautiful,â he whispered, his voice raw and gravelly.
His hand slid down your side, his fingers splaying out at your hip, the weight of his touch grounding you. He pressed a lingering kiss to the curve of your neck, his stubble scraping deliciously against your skin, followed by the faintest pressure of his teeth. The shiver that coursed through you drew a satisfied growl from him, low and primal.
Every movement, every touch, every whispered word was deliberateâeach one a promise. One you felt to your core.
The room buzzed with a charged energy, electric and palpable. Loganâs eyes met yours again, and in that moment, the world seemed to slow. The way he looked at youâlike you were something heâd been waiting for his entire lifeâmade your breath hitch and your heart race.
His hands tightened at your waist, his fingers pressing into your sides as he leaned down once more. The kiss that followed was a heady mix of tenderness and intensity, his lips moving against yours with an urgency that left no room for doubt. Logan kissed like he foughtâfiercely, unyieldingly, and with everything he had.
Your hands explored his shoulders, tracing the firm muscle beneath his skin, feeling them shift and flex as he braced himself above you. His weight was a steady presence, comforting yet thrilling, a reminder of his strength.
When his lips left yours, they travelled lower, down the curve of your neck, across your collarbone, and lower still. His mouth and hands mapped out your body with an unhurried reverence, like he wanted to memorise every inch of you.
âIâve been waiting for this,â he murmured, his voice hushed but commanding, his lips brushing against your skin. His eyes met yours again, dark and unwavering, filled with a determination that made your pulse quicken all over again. He was waiting, giving you the choice, the control, his intensity balanced by the care in his gaze.
Your fingers tangled in his hair, surprisingly soft despite its wildness. You bit your lip as his mouth moved along your neck, his lips warm and insistent, nibbling with a mix of playfulness and purpose. You instinctively arched toward him, seeking more of his touch, and he pulled back just enough to meet your gaze.
There was a soft smile tugging at his lips, a tenderness that contrasted beautifully with the raw hunger in his eyes. Then, without a word, he buried his face back into the crook of your neck, the scrape of his beard sending shivers down your spine.
His lips lingered on every inch of your skin, his kisses deepening the sensations until you were lost in him. A sharp nip at the sensitive curve of your neck made you jump, a small cry escaping your lips. His low, rumbling chuckle reverberated against your skin as he soothed the spot with a gentle lick.
âThatâs gonna leave a mark,â you whispered, your voice light but breathless.
He pulled back just enough to smirk, his eyes gleaming with mischief. âAnd it wonât be the only one,â he replied, his tone low and gravelly, full of promise.
Loganâs hands slipped beneath your shirt, his roughened palms gliding over the soft warmth of your skin. When his fingers reached the clasp of your bra, he let out a quiet growl, the sound vibrating deep in his chest. With one smooth motion, he lifted you effortlessly, holding you against him as though you weighed nothing. The sheer strength in the gesture left you breathless, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.
âI need you in my bed,â he murmured, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, his voice thick with longing. âComfortably sprawled out... while I take my time with you tonight.â
His words sent a flush rising to your cheeks, and you pressed your face into his neck, both embarrassed and exhilarated. Logan laughed softly, the sound a low, rich rumble that sent heat pooling in your core.
âOh, this is going to be fun, darlinâ,â he teased, clearly revelling in your reaction.
âYouâre being mean,â you mumbled in protest, your words muffled against his skin.
âMean?â he repeated, his smirk widening as he felt the soft kisses you pressed to his neck in retaliation. His grip tightened on you just slightly before he laid you down on the bed, his movements controlled yet brimming with urgency. His leg slid naturally between your thighs as he leaned over you, pressing his weight into you just enough to draw a delighted squeal from your lips.
His gaze roamed over you, slow and deliberate, his eyes darkened with desire. There was something primal in the way he looked at you, as if nothing else in the world existed but this moment. His hand moved to your waist, trailing up your side with maddening slowness, leaving a path of warmth and tingling anticipation in its wake.
You shivered beneath his touch, your own hands finding their way to his broad shoulders. The firm lines of his muscles tightened under your fingertips as you explored the expanse of him, marvelling at his strength and the way it contrasted with the tenderness in his movements.
Logan leaned down, his lips brushing against yours in a soft, tentative kiss. The tenderness was fleeting, quickly giving way to something deeper as the kiss intensified. His hand slid up to cradle your face, his thumb brushing your cheek as he tilted your head to deepen the connection. Each movement was deliberate, like he was savouring every second, and when he finally pulled back, his lips hovered a breath away from yours, his voice rough and low.
âDo you know what you do to me?â he murmured, his tone heavy with need. âEvery look, every touch... it drives me wild.â
His hand slipped under the hem of your shirt again, the calluses on his fingertips grazing your skin in a way that sent sparks dancing across your body. He pushed the fabric higher, his lips following the path his hands had traced, leaving feather-light kisses along your abdomen. Each touch, each kiss, built the tension inside you, the anticipation becoming almost too much to bear.
You arched into his touch, a soft sigh escaping your lips as his hands and mouth explored you with reverence. Slowly, he worked his way back up, his lips brushing along your collarbone, up the curve of your neck, and finally capturing your lips again. His kiss was firm and consuming, leaving you dizzy with want as his hands continued their journey, touching you in ways that made you feel cherished, adored.
âI want you to relax,â he murmured, his rough hand gently cupping your cheek as his eyes locked with yours. The intensity in his gaze was grounding, reassuring. âLet me take care of you tonight.â
A shiver ran through you at the quiet promise in his words, and you gave yourself over to him completely. He continued his slow, deliberate exploration, his lips and hands igniting a fire that burned through every nerve in your body.
With a slight shift of his weight, he pulled your shirt over your head, his movements unhurried but filled with purpose. His eyes roamed over your newly exposed skin, darkened with desire but soft with tenderness. Youâd never felt so completely seen before, so utterly appreciated.
Loganâs hands returned to your sides, his touch brushing over your ribs as he leaned down again, capturing your lips in a kiss that made your heart race. His movements were deliberate, savouring the moment like he had all the time in the world to worship you.
When his lips left yours, they continued their journey, trailing kisses down your neck, along your shoulder, and lower. Each press of his mouth sent a spark of warmth radiating through your body, the sensation heightening with every touch. His hands followed, his touch both firm and gentle, exploring your curves with a possessiveness that made you feel treasured.
âTell me what you need,â he whispered against your skin, his voice hushed but heavy with intensity. His gaze locked on yours, searching, waiting for your answer, his expression promising he would give you anything.
The vulnerability of the moment made your heart stutter, the quiet intimacy of it wrapping around you like a warm blanket. âI just need you,â you murmured, your voice trembling as the words spilled out, barely audible.
Loganâs lips curved into a faint smile against your skin, his rough beard scratching deliciously as he pressed a gentle kiss just above your heart. âThen Iâm all yours,â he replied, his voice a low, gravelly promise that sent shivers cascading down your spine.
He moved you carefully, effortlessly guiding you to the centre of the bed. His arm stayed firmly around your waist, holding you close as though you might slip away if he let go. Every movement was slow, deliberate, his sharp eyes reading you like a bookâevery gasp, every shiver, every flutter of your lashes catalogued and responded to with tender attentiveness.
His fingers trailed down your skin, warm and rough against your softness, until they found the waistband of your jeans. With practised ease, he unfastened them, and you instinctively lifted your hips, helping him slide them off. He tossed them to the floor, where your shirt had already landed, and then sat back on his heels, taking you in.
His gaze was intense, primalâdarkened by a hunger that seemed endless, almost dangerous. His eyes roamed over your form, lingering on every curve, every exposed inch of skin. That look alone made you feel like you were aflame, a heat pooling low in your belly under the weight of his stare. You swallowed hard, feeling shy and bold all at once in your barely-there panties, ones youâd chosen that morning for a little extra confidence, never expecting theyâd be seen like this.
âYouâre being mean again,â you teased, your voice soft but playful. âYouâre still fully clothed.â
Logan raised a single eyebrow, his lips twitching into that damn smirk that made your knees weak. âMean, huh?â he repeated again, his voice a teasing rasp. Shaking his head, he reached for the hem of his flannel shirt, starting to pull it over his head.
But before he could, your hand shot out, landing on his arm to stop him. âCan I do it?â you asked, your tone soft, tentative, but unmistakably eager.
His smirk deepened, his gaze dropping to your lips before flicking back to your eyes. âYou wanna take the lead, princess?â he murmured, the nickname rolling off his tongue like a challenge.
With a quick, fluid movement, he grabbed your waist and flipped the two of you, his strength effortless, leaving you straddling his lap. His large hands rested firmly on your hips, holding you in place. You let out a surprised laugh, swatting his shoulder playfully, but the sound faded when you felt the hard length of him pressing against you.
âThen Iâm all yours,â he growled, his smirk widening as you shifted your hips experimentally. The deep rumble that escaped his throat made your breath hitch, a quiet growl that sent a thrill racing through you.
Your hands travelled over the hard planes of his abdomen, tracing the lines of muscle that flexed beneath your touch. Slowly, teasingly, you reached the first button of his flannel and began unfastening it, one by one, revealing inch after inch of warm, firm skin. Dark hair covered his chest, trailing downward in a line that disappeared into his jeans, and you couldnât stop yourself from running your fingers over it, savouring the roughness against your fingertips.
Leaning forward, you pressed a soft kiss to his lips, then began a slow, deliberate path downward, your lips brushing along his jaw, his neck, and the curve of his shoulder. Your kisses turned to nips and bites, your teeth grazing his skin in a way that had his hips jerking beneath you. When your lips closed around his nipple, biting just hard enough to make him hiss, a low chuckle rumbled through him.
âYouâre trouble,â he growled playfully, though his hands gripped your hips tighter, guiding you into a slow rhythm against him.
You brushed his hands aside, smirking down at him. âIâm in control, Professor,â you said, the title falling from your lips like honey.
His reaction was immediateâhis eyes widened slightly, darkening further as he twitched beneath you, his arousal impossible to ignore. âInteresting,â you mused, your grin turning wicked as you kissed your way down his chest, tracing the lines of his ribs with your nails, drawing a satisfied groan from him as the faint sting lingered.
Reaching the waistband of his jeans, you unfastened them with the same slow care heâd shown you earlier. Hooking your fingers around the band of his boxers, you gave his hip a light tap, silently urging him to lift, which he did without hesitation. You slid his jeans and boxers down, tossing them to join the growing pile of clothes.
âLooks like weâre uneven now,â he joked, his tone husky, though his focus was entirely on you as your fingers ghosted over his thighs.
âI left your shirt on, didnât I?â you teased back, flashing him a mischievous smile.
He started to reply, but it dissolved into a groan as your hands moved upward, tracing along the lines of his stomach, stopping just shy of where he was waiting for you, hard and aching. You leaned down, pressing soft kisses to his abdomen, following the trail of hair downward, your lips deliberately avoiding the most sensitive part of him. Each breath that grazed him made him twitch, his hands fisting the sheets as he tried to stay patient.
But Logan Howlett wasnât a patient man.
His voice was a low, guttural growl. âPrincess, if you keep teasing me, Iâm not gonna stay still much longer.â
You smirked, brushing your lips lightly along his inner thigh, your eyes flicking up to meet his. âThen donât,â you whispered, the challenge clear in your tone.
And the way his eyes burned at your words made you feel unstoppable.
"May I remind you, sweetheart, that Iâm not a patient man?" His voice was a low, guttural growl, each word strained as his restraint frayed under your teasing. Your lips ghosted up his chest, leaving a warm trail of kisses along the curve of his neck. His skin was taut under your wandering hands, which moved deliberately, sliding over the firm muscle of his chest, down the sculpted planes of his abdomen, until they stopped just shy of their target.
A bead of pre-cum glistened at his tip, a testament to how close you were to driving him over the edge. The sight alone sent a thrill through youâhe was teetering on the brink of control, and you loved it. Still, even as his desperation stirred a wicked delight in you, the ache building within your own body was undeniable. You wanted him just as badly. No, more.
Leaning up, you captured his lips in a soft, deliberate kiss, then broke away to whisper in his ear, your breath hot and laced with seduction. "May I suck you off, Professor?"
The sound that tore from him was a low, primal groanâhalf frustration, half desireâand when you pulled back with a feigned innocence, his restraint snapped. He surged forward, claiming your mouth in a bruising kiss, his hands gripping you with a fervour that made your stomach twist deliciously. He poured his want into that kiss, and you revelled in the way he crumbled beneath your touch.
Your hand slipped lower, wrapping firmly around him, and his sharp intake of breath sent a wave of heat surging through your body. Seeing him bare before you was one thing, but feeling himâhis heat, his size, his sheer needâhad your own breath catching. The thought of taking him, of having him inside you, sent a shiver of anticipation skimming down your spine.
Pulling back, you locked eyes with him, the dark hunger in his gaze urging you on. Slowly, you brought your hand to your mouth, licking your palm in a deliberately seductive motion. His lips parted as his chest rose and fell heavily, watching every move you made. Your slickened hand returned to him, circling his length with a teasing swirl. His head fell back, a deep groan escaping his throat, as his body surrendered to the sensation.
Experimentally, you brushed your thumb over his tip, collecting the bead of wetness there. Without breaking eye contact, you brought it to your lips, tasting him for the first time. He was salty, heady, but somehow addictiveâa taste you could already tell youâd crave. His groan turned guttural as your hand began its slow, deliberate rhythm, stroking him with increasing confidence.
"Logan Howlett," you thought, a flicker of triumph lighting within you. This untamed, commanding man was utterly under your spell, and you hadnât even begun to show him what you could do.
Leaning in, you pressed your tongue to the base of his throat, dragging it upward in one languid motion. His cock was hot and impossibly hard in your hand, smooth yet throbbing with vitality. You smirked as you murmured against his skin, your voice a sultry hum. "You feel incredible in my hand, Professor. I wonderâŚ" You nipped lightly at his collarbone before trailing down his chest and stomach, closer and closer to where your hand worked him in steady strokes. ââŚhow you'd feel in my mouth."
âFuck,â he rasped, the word trembling on a breathless moan as you quickened your pace, his hips twitching in response. "You can try it, sweet girl. I bet a good girl like you would love it."
His challenge lit a spark in your eyes. Without hesitation, you trailed your hand to his base, preparing for the length you couldnât take fully. Then, holding his gaze, you ran your tongue up his shaft in a slow, deliberate stripe, savouring every inch. His breath hitched, and he let out another ragged "Fuck," his head tipping back in unrestrained pleasure.
You smirked around him, your lips brushing against his skin. âIâve been thinking about this for so long," you murmured, your hand working him with practised strokes as you watched his chest rise and fall, his breathing ragged. His eyes were heavy-lidded with lust, entirely focused on you.
Without breaking your rhythm, you leaned forward and took him into your mouth, your tongue swirling expertly as you enjoyed the weight and heat of him. His reaction was immediateâa guttural groan that made your pulse race. Every sound he made, every twitch of his body, was yours to command, and you planned to make the most of it.
You leaned down, your gaze locking with his as you parted your lips to take him in. The intensity in his dark, lust-filled eyes sent a pulse of heat through you, heightening your desire. Slowly, you enveloped him, letting your tongue swirl around his tip with deliberate, teasing strokes. Every second felt electric, the weight of him on your tongue igniting something primal within you.
Encouraged by the raw, guttural groan that escaped his lips, you took him deeper. The sound spurred you on, your body responding instinctively as you pushed yourself further, the stretch of him filling your mouth almost too much to bear. A choked gasp escaped you as you fought to adjust, and when you pulled back slowly, the suction made him shudder. Your tongue flicked out, lapping up the bead of pre-cum that lingered at his tip, savouring the salty, heady taste with a soft moan.
You let your tongue explore him fully, tracing the sensitive underside of his length with delicate precision. Each movement of your hand at the base added to the sensation, your fingers tightening just enough to draw a deep, unrestrained moan from him. The sound sent a thrill through you, and a smug smirk tugged at your lips. Seeing a man like Loganâalways so composed and commandingâreduced to this state of pure need made you feel intoxicatingly powerful.
Unable to resist the temptation, you reached for his clenched fist, guiding it gently into your hair. His hand opened reflexively, his fingers threading through your locks with surprising tenderness. At first, his grip was tentative, his raised brow and the flicker of surprise in his gaze betraying his hesitation. But those eyesâdark, hungry, and more captivating than everâheld a new vulnerability, a raw honesty that made your pulse quicken.
âI want you to show me how you like it, Logan,â you murmured, your voice low and sultry, the deliberate use of his name landing like a spark in the charged space between you.
Something shifted in him. His pupils dilated, and his lips curved into a wicked smirk that made your stomach flip. âAre you sure, sweet girl?â he asked, his tone deep and laden with warning. âI can be... aggressive.â His low chuckle was both a tease and a promise, but the way his hand flexed in your hair revealed just how much your words had affected him.
You felt the heat rising between you, a silent challenge hanging in the air. âI want to make you feel good,â you whispered, your voice trembling with sincerity.
For a moment, his expression softened, the ferocity in his gaze giving way to something warmer. He patted your cheek gently, almost tenderly, before exhaling a shaky breath. âYouâll be the death of me,â he muttered under his breath, before adding in a growl, âGood girl.â
The praise sent a rush of arousal through you, emboldening you as you took him back into your mouth. You started slowly, relishing the stretch as you worked to accommodate him. Your lips strained as you descended further, inch by inch, until the tip of his cock brushed the back of your throat. You paused there, breathing through your nose, willing yourself to relax as you adjusted to his size.
The weight of him was overwhelming, but you welcomed the challenge, pressing forward to test your limits. Your hand moved in tandem with your mouth, stroking the base of his cock where your lips couldnât reach. Every groan, every strained breath from above you fueled your determination.
When his hand tightened in your hair, a subtle but unmistakable tug, you felt the shift in his control. It wasnât forceful, but it was guiding, encouraging you to take him deeper. The act of surrendering to his lead sent a wave of heat cascading through you, and you moaned softly around him, the vibrations drawing another sharp groan from his throat.
Logan Howlett, the untouchable, unshakable force of nature, was unravelling in your handsâand you couldnât have been more proud.
Every sound he made only added to the unbearable ache pooling between your thighs. You were soakedâso much more than youâd ever been before. The slickness, the heat, the undeniable need coursing through youâit was unlike anything youâd felt. Sure, youâd given blowjobs before, but they were nothing like this. This wasnât a chore or a routine act of pleasure. With Logan, every moment felt electric, every touch feeding the fire inside you.
As your hand and mouth worked together to bring him closer, the growing need within you begged for attention. Slowly, one hand trailed down your own body, seeking some relief, your fingers pressing lightly against the wetness that had soaked through your panties.
But the sharp tug at your hair brought everything to a halt, a high-pitched gasp escaping your lips as you broke away to look up at him. His dark, lust-filled eyes burned with a mixture of amusement and dominance.
âAnd what do you think youâre doing?â he asked, his tone laced with teasing authority, though the edge in his voice made it clear he expected an answer.
âIâI just thoughtââ you started, but the wicked smirk that spread across his face silenced you.
âPleasuring you is my job,â he interrupted, his words sending a thrill through your body. âGo on, sweetheart. Be a good girl for me, and I promise Iâll reward you.â
A rush of arousal coursed through you at his command. Any other man saying something like that would have earned a sharp slap and a swift exit. But Logan? His voice, his touch, his sheer presenceâit left you feeling raw, exposed, and more wanted than ever before. You nodded, a small, breathless smile playing on your lips as you returned your hand to his hip.
Lowering your head again, you let your tongue trace a slow, deliberate path down the length of his cock, sampling the taste of him as you collected the salty pre-cum that had begun to drip. His groan was low and guttural, a sound that spurred you on as you began to bob your head, taking him deeper and deeper into your throat with every motion.
But Logan wasnât content to let you set the pace. His hand tightened in your hair, pushing you down suddenly and forcing your nose to press against the base of his cock. The sheer size of him stretched your throat, and you pulled back with a coughing gasp, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.
âFuck!â he hissed, his voice strained. His other hand reached for your chin, tilting your face up to meet his intense gaze. âYou okay, princess?â The damn pet name only made your pulse race faster.
âIâm fine,â you whispered, your voice raspy but eager. âYou just surprised me.â
He smirked, but the concern in his eyes was genuine, his thumb brushing softly over your cheek. âGood. Use your words, pretty girl.â
âI want to feel you again,â you said breathlessly, your hand resuming its slow strokes along his length. Your eyes travelled to his lips, then back to his smouldering gaze as you bit your bottom lip. âI want to feel you come in my mouth, Sir.â
His eyes darkened at the word, his grip in your hair tightening just enough to make you shiver. âGood. Fucking. Girl,â he growled, his voice rough and full of praise. âGo on, then. Show me just how perfect you can be.â
This time, you didnât hesitate. You found your rhythm, relaxing your throat and taking him even deeper than before. Saliva spilled down his length, glistening in the dim light as you worked him with a messy, unrestrained enthusiasm. The sounds of his pleasureâgrunts, groans, and muttered cursesâwere music to your ears, spurring you to go further, to do more.
Loganâs hips began to move, his thrusts matching the rhythm of your mouth. The hand in your hair guided you with increasing urgency, his movements growing rougher, more desperate. âOh, right there, princess,â he groaned, his voice strained as his control started to slip. âThatâs it. Youâre so fucking good for me.â
You moaned around him, the vibration pulling another strangled sound from his lips. He was twitching now, his cock pulsing against your tongue, and you knew he was close. You focused on his tip, swirling your tongue around it before taking him as deep as you could once more.
âC-coming,â he choked out, his voice rough and breathless.
You didnât falter. Instead, you tightened your grip at his base, hollowing your cheeks and pressing your lips flush against him as he reached his peak. His hips bucked, and with one final thrust, he spilled into your mouth. The taste of himâsalty, raw, and uniquely Loganâflooded your senses, and you swallowed every drop, savouring the moment.
With a soft pop, you pulled back, licking your lips and opening your mouth to show him youâd taken everything he had to give. The satisfaction in his gaze made your chest swell with pride.
âYou are fucking perfect,â he muttered, his voice low and hoarse. Before you could respond, he pulled you into a searing kiss, his mouth crashing against yours with unrestrained hunger. He didnât seem to care that he could still taste himself on your lipsâif anything, it seemed to drive him wild.
âYouâre not done with me yet,â he murmured against your mouth, his smirk returning as he pulled you closer. âNot even close.âÂ
Once again, Logan shifted your bodies effortlessly, rolling you beneath him until you lay sprawled out, vulnerable and waiting. The weight of his gaze made your breath hitchâhungry, predatory, as though he were revelling in every inch of you before even touching you. For the first time that night, nerves began to creep in, a shiver of uncertainty. You were exposed, clad in nothing but your underwear, your body bared for him in the dim light. But then he looked at you, really looked at you, and the intensity in his eyes made your doubts dissolve like smoke.
âYouâre so fucking beautiful,â he murmured, his voice low and reverent, each word laced with longing.
He leaned in, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your neck. His teeth found the sensitive spots just below your ear, nibbling gently, drawing a gasp from you as your back arched instinctively toward him. You were already so ready, the ache between your thighs unbearable. Tilting your hips, you sought to close the gap, to meet him where you needed him most.
But his hand came down firmly on your hip, pinning you back against the mattress with a knowing smirk. âImpatient, are we?â he teased, his voice dripping with amusement. âLooks like Iâll have to teach you some patience. After allâŚâ He leaned closer, his lips brushing against yours as he spoke, ââŚI am a professor.â
The kiss that followed was searing, his tongue slipping past your lips to tangle with yours. His weight pressed down on you, holding you in place, his length achingly close but just out of reach. You whimpered against his mouth, your body trembling with anticipation, your hands clawing at his shoulders in frustration. When he pulled back to look at you, his smile turned smug. He could see it allâthe half-closed eyes, the way your lips chased his, your complete surrender beneath him.
âLook at you,â he murmured, his tone almost a purr. âSo ready. And Iâve barely even touched you.â
His lips found your neck again, trailing hot, deliberate kisses down to your collarbone. Then lower. He lingered at your chest, his hands deftly unclasping your bra. The cool air brushed against your hardened nipples for only a moment before his mouth claimed one, his tongue swirling as he sucked, his teeth grazing lightly. The sensation shot through you like lightning, and a low whine escaped your throat.
He chuckled, the sound vibrating against your skin as his hand found your other breast, pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers. âSo sensitive,â he said softly, his voice full of pride at the way your body responded to him. Switching sides, he made sure to give each peak the same attention, his lips and tongue worshipping you as though nothing else in the world mattered.
His kisses continued their descent, leaving a trail of heat down your stomach. Wet, open-mouthed kisses mixed with playful bites that made you hissânot in pain, but in sweet, agonising frustration. He paused at your hip, nipping the delicate skin there, and your hand flew to his shoulder, clutching him tightly.
âYouâre torturing me,â you whined, your voice a breathless plea.
His response was a soft, almost tender kiss against your lips, a stark contrast to the smirk that tugged at the corners of his mouth. âAm I?â he murmured, his fingers slipping lower, brushing against the damp fabric covering your core.
âOh, God,â you gasped, your head falling back against the pillows as his touch sent a jolt of pleasure through you.
With one smooth motion, he hooked his fingers under the waistband of your underwear and slid it down your legs, leaving you completely bare beneath him. He sat back for a moment, his gaze raking over you with unrestrained hunger.
âSo beautiful,â he murmured, almost to himself. âSo perfect. So fucking ready.â His lips quirked into a teasing smile. âDoes getting me off make you this wet, princess?â
âYouâre cruel,â you shot back with a breathless chuckle, only to gasp as he slid one thick finger into you with ease.
âCruel?â he echoed, his smirk widening. âOh, sweetheart, weâre just getting started.â
He leaned down, trailing kisses down your stomach and lower, pausing just above where you ached for him most. His tongue darted out, teasing you with the lightest touch, and you bucked against him instinctively. His free hand pressed firmly against your stomach, holding you in place.
âPatience,â he reminded you, his breath hot against your sensitive skin.
When his mouth finally descended, the first touch of his tongue against your clit sent a cry spilling from your lips. He groaned in response, the sound deep and guttural as he tasted you. âSo sweet,â he murmured against you, his lips brushing the sensitive nub. âSo fucking good. Only for me.â
âOnly for you,â you gasped, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer.
He growled low in his throat, the deep vibration coursing through you like a shockwave. His tongue moved with practised precision, alternating between soft, teasing flicks that left you gasping and firm, deliberate strokes that made your toes curl. Every movement was calculated to drive you higher, to wring every ounce of pleasure from you.
Then, his lips latched onto your clit again, sucking gently before his teeth grazed the sensitive nub, sending a sharp, delicious jolt through your core. The cry of his name that tore from your lips was almost instinctual. âThatâs it, princess,â he murmured against your skin, his voice gravelly, warm, and thick with lust. âLet me hear you.â
You couldnât do anything but obey. His tongue began to work you relentlessly, each lap and swirl pulling moans and gasps from deep within you. âLogan, oh god, yes!â Your words spilled out in breathless chants, and you writhed beneath him, your body responding to every masterful flick of his tongue. Of course, he was skilledâfar beyond anything youâd ever experienced. He wasnât some fumbling boy trying to impress you. He was a manâa raw, primal forceâand tonight, he was yours.
When a third finger stretched you, your back arched off the bed as you screamed his name. His answering smirk was devastating. That damn smirk. It would be your undoing. You could feel himâhis arousal, hot and heavy against your thigh, already primed for more. Yet he wasnât rushing, wasnât hurrying to take you. He devoured you like a man starved, his fingers filling you perfectly, his free hand pinning you down as you squirmed beneath his touch.
âBe a good girl for me,â he rasped, his tone a dangerous mix of command and tease, âand tell me when youâre about to come.â
The ache inside you built to a breaking point, sharp and all-consuming. The pressure coiled tighter and tighter until it was unbearable, and you whimpered, your voice trembling as you confessed how close you were.
And then he stopped.
The absence of his touch was like being plunged into ice water. You opened your eyes, glaring at him with a mix of disbelief and fury.
âAre you fucking kidding me?â you hissed, your voice trembling with frustration.
Logan leaned back on his heels, his broad shoulders shaking with a low, wicked laugh. His smirk deepened as he looked at you, flushed and furious. âYouâre adorable when youâre angry,â he teased, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the tip of your nose.
âIâm not adorable,â you huffed, your cheeks burning, both from arousal and his taunting.
âYouâre even more adorable when youâre flustered,â he chuckled, brushing his thumb along your cheek.
Before you could retort, he kissed you hard, swallowing any protest. Without warning, his hand returned, and he thrust three fingers deep inside you, curling them expertly. He found that perfect, spongy spot with devastating accuracy, and when he pressed against it, you screamed his name so loudly you were certain the neighbours would know exactly what he was doing to you.
âThatâs my girl,â he growled, his voice rough and brimming with satisfaction. âLet go for me.â
One more precise swirl of his fingers, and you shattered. The climax hit you like a lightning strike, blinding and all-consuming. Your body convulsed around him, your hands gripping the sheets desperately as wave after wave of pleasure wracked your body. It was differentâdeeper, more intense than anything youâd ever felt before.
But Logan didnât stop.
âLogan, stop, I canât,â you gasped, your voice shaking as your body trembled from the aftershocks. âIâŚI canâtââ
âYes, you can,â he coaxed, his voice soft but insistent. âCome on, give it to me, baby.â
The new pet name broke something in you. Before you could process it, another orgasm tore through you, more overwhelming than the first. Your legs clamped shut around his hand as your body convulsed, your arms falling limp at your sides, too spent to even move.
When the waves finally subsided, you lay there, panting and trembling. âThat was⌠God⌠That was the best fucking orgasm of my life,â you muttered breathlessly.
Logan grinned smugly, clearly pleased with himself.
âDonât look so smug!â you protested weakly, swatting at his chest, though the laughter in your voice betrayed you.
He lifted his hand, still glistening with your release, and raised an eyebrow. âNo oneâs ever made you squirt before, right?â
Your eyes widened, embarrassment washing over you as you shook your head.
âIdiots,â he muttered, leaning down to kiss you softly, his lips gentle and warm against yours. âSeeing you like thatâŚthatâs the best damn thing Iâve ever seen.â
His words melted your embarrassment, and you smiled up at him, your hand drifting down to wrap around the hard length pressed against your thigh. His breath hitched at your touch, his control visibly fraying.
âYou sure, sweetheart?â he asked, his voice softening, the tenderness in his tone stark against the raw hunger in his eyes. âI donât want to hurt ya.â
His care, his patience, his sheer presenceâit all left you breathless. How had you gotten so lucky?
âI want you inside me,â you whispered, your voice trembling with anticipation. âI want to feel youâand your releaseâin me for the next week.â
The sharp inhale of breath and the way his eyes darkened at your words sent a thrill through you. âIâm on the IUD, and Iâm clean,â you added, and his nod confirmed the same.
Logan leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he growled softly, âThen letâs make you feel exactly how much I want you.â
Logan sat back on his heels, the muscles in his chest and arms flexing as he pulled off the shirt he still wore. The faint scars scattered across his skin caught the dim light, a testament to his raw strength and resilience. His feral intensity was softened, for a moment, by the way his hands trailed down your legs, spreading them open with deliberate care. His touch sent a shiver through you, not from cold, but from the overwhelming anticipation that coursed through your body.
Gripping his cock, he positioned himself at your entrance, his gaze flicking up to meet yours. âIâm not small,â he said with a low chuckle, his voice gruff but tinged with tenderness. He knew his size could be overwhelming; with his usual flings, he wouldnât have hesitated, but this wasnât just a night of mindless release. This was different. You were different. He cared about you, and that thought made him slow down, made him want to savour every moment.
The swollen tip of his cock slid easily through your slick folds, and you inhaled sharply at the slight sting of the stretch. He was bigger than anyone before, and for a fleeting moment, the discomfort was sharpâbut it faded just as quickly, replaced by a moan of pleasure as he pushed deeper. Slowly, inch by inch, he worked his way inside, letting you adjust to him.
âFuck,â he hissed through clenched teeth when he bottomed out, his forehead dropping to yours. He was buried so deeply you swore you could feel him everywhere, filling you in ways you hadnât thought possible. âSo tight,â he muttered, a small, breathless chuckle escaping him. âDamn near came already.â
He kissed you then, slow and deliberate, his lips trailing down your neck as his hand came up to cup your breast. His thumb flicked over your nipple, drawing a gasp from you as his hips began to move. The first few thrusts were slow, measured, giving you time to adjust.
You looked up at him, and the sight stole what little breath you had left. Logan Howlett was beautiful in his raw masculinityâthe glistening sweat on his chest, the way his muscles rippled with each movement, his eyes dark with lust and something deeper. His hands left your breasts, moving to grip your thighs, lifting them to rest on his shoulders as he pressed even deeper inside you. The angle made you gasp, your hands gripping his forearms for stability.
âFaster,â you moaned, your voice trembling with need as you leaned up to whisper in his ear. âPleaseâ.
He growled softly, his lips brushing against your temple as he pulled back to look at you. âSo fucking polite,â he teased, a smirk tugging at his lips before his pace shifted.
The next thrust slammed into you, and a cry tore from your throat, your body arching off the bed as he began to pound into you with an intensity that bordered on feral. He moved with precision, each snap of his hips purposeful as though he was searching for somethingâand then he found it.
Your gasp turned into a strangled moan, your lips forming a perfect O as he hit a spot deep inside you that sent white-hot pleasure ripping through your body. His smirk widened at your reaction, and his hand moved down to your clit, circling it with rough but deliberate pressure that made your voice rise in a chorus of his name, breathless pleas, and mindless cries of âyes.â
âCome on, princess,â he commanded, his voice low and growling. âCome on my dick.â
You shattered at his words, the orgasm ripping through you so hard your body trembled uncontrollably. You cried out his name, gripping the sheets tightly as your walls clenched around him. But he didnât stop. His hips kept driving into you, harder and faster, his hands gripping your thighs so tightly you knew youâd wear the marks tomorrow.
âLogan, stop, I canâtââ you whimpered, though your body betrayed you, climbing toward another peak.
âYes, you can,â he growled, his voice rough and commanding. âGive me one more, my sweet girl. One more.â
When he murmured your name, it was over. Your second orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, so intense your legs clamped around him and your arms fell limp at your sides. The sensation of his cock twitching inside you, the warm flood of his release spilling into you, heightened the euphoria.
When he stilled, his chest heaving, he leaned down to kiss you. It was soft, tender, so full of care that it almost brought tears to your eyes. As you blinked them away, his thumb brushed over your cheek, catching the tears before they could fall. He pressed gentle kisses to the corners of your eyes before pulling out of you with a shared hiss.
For a moment, you thought he might collapse beside you, like so many others before him had, but instead, he murmured, âIâll be back in a sec. Donât move.â
Too spent to argue, you closed your eyes, letting the haze of exhaustion wash over you. When you felt the warm, damp cloth against your sensitive core, you flinched slightly, startled.
âRelax, baby,â he murmured, his voice full of affection as he cleaned you up with a care that left you speechless. Heâd even taken the time to warm the water. Could this man be any more perfect?
âI brought you some water,â he added, holding out a glass as he sat beside you on the bed.
You took it gratefully, managing a soft chuckle. âI donât think I can move,â you said, half-joking but entirely truthful.
For a brief, vulnerable moment, fear crept into your chest. This was the part you dreadedâthe moment where heâd send you on your way, reducing everything you shared to a meaningless one-night stand. You braced yourself for it, but it never came.
Instead, Logan stretched out beside you, his large hand resting on your thigh as he looked at you with those impossibly soft eyes.
âThen stay,â he said simply, his voice rough but sincere. âThe bedâs big enough. And not to brag, but I make a damn good omelette.â
The smile he gave you melted every bit of fear in your chest, filling it instead with a quiet joy that made your heart ache in the best way.
You finished your water and curled up against him, your head resting on his chest, his heartbeat a steady rhythm against your ear.
âI think I like that,â you murmured, your voice drowsy but content.
And in that moment, you knew you were exactly where you were meant to be.
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Currently have âAs the World Falls Downâ from Labyrinth stuck in my head and am currently thinking about which of my blorboâs would fit bc Iâm inspired
#first thought was older!noctis#and then I had a fun Vincent idea#good god I have too many ideas#jâs brain
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snapshot | old man!logan
pairing/AU: old man!logan howlett x female!reader
summary: short on money for rent, your joke about starting an only fans account, to earn some extra cash, goes over logan's head. but when an accident with charles puts your life in danger, logan takes you up on your offer.
warnings: this is an 18+ fic so mdni! friends with benefits vibes who are also idiots in love, implied age gap, swearing, mentions and drinking of alcohol, use of pet names, logan's a bit of a grumpy dick, sex work, logan can't use a phone, logan can carry reader but he's also extremely strong, smut, praise kink, a little size kink (basically logan has a big dick), dom!logan, logan's got a dirty mouth, a little dacryphilia, sloppy blow job, facial, cum play, no use of y/n
a/n: a little disclaimer. i actually have no idea how OF work i only read the wikipedia page, so i've taken some liberties with it to fit it with the plot lol. the idea for the reader as charles' caretaker is inspired by @joelsgoldrush's fic never is a promise <- incredible fic that everyone should read! and also a big thank you to @guiltyasdave for all the encouragement on this fic!! <333 happy reading! <3
main masterlist / ao3
The coffee tasted sour on his tongue as he waited, engine running on empty, but the whiskey kept his throat warm. Behind the apartment complex the sun crawled up the horizon and split the the dark asphalt in pieces with streaks of blinding sunlight. The street lights shut off just as you walked out, the rickety door slamming shut behind you.
Watching you round the front of the limousine Logan pulled his seat forward, his rough hand grabbing the wheel as his left foot tapped impatiently on the footrest. A tickle in his throat had him greet you with a cough, and he brought his fist to his mouth.
"Morning to you too," you said, voice laced with sarcasm.
"Don't fuckin' slam the door like thatâ I've told you a thousand times," Logan grunted back and put the car in drive.
This was routine at this point. He picked you up in the morning after driving all night, and dropped you off again in the evening before he started his shift. Employing you took a large wad of cash out of his pocket, but at least he didn't have to worry about Charles being taken care of. You weren't a registered nurse or anything, not someone who'd had all the right references and education, but you needed money and didn't ask questions, and that had been perfect for Logan. He'd hired you about a year ago, and everything after had been routine.
When you didn't say anything back, only shifted your weight in the seat and leaned your head against the window, it pulled at something inside Logan. He couldn't deny you were a beautiful woman. He liked the way your nose curved, how soft your skin felt against his cheek every time you'd given him a reluctant hug, and he liked the way you smelled. It was primal, and in another life Logan would've had you in his bed already, but in this life, Logan was done with beautiful women.
Still early enough for the roads to be empty, Logan pushed the speed limit as he waited for you to speak â to finally say something trivial like you did every morning â some song you'd just discovered, or the plot twist in the reality program you watched every night, or how they were out of your favorite yogurt at the grocery store. He'd reply with a grunt, or with nothing at all, just letting you talk.
Out of the corner of his eye, Logan noticed how you picked at the skin around your nails, and when the sharp metallic smell of blood filled his nostrils, he heaved a heavy sigh.
"What's wrong with you?" he grumbled. A lilt of annoyance coated the words, and Logan hated how your silence had affected him. His harsh tone didn't seem to bother you, and the realization cut like a knife; biting down, Logan's jaw clenched.
"It's nothing."
Logan had to hold back the scoff he wanted to let out, "Clearly it's somethin', kid."
Finally, a reaction out of you. Pushing yourself to sit up straight, you let out a sigh as you turned your head to look at him. "My landlord raised my rent again⌠I'm thinking about how I'm gonna pay rent this month. I'm gonna be a few hundred bucks short," you told him.
Oh.
Gripping the wheel a little tighter, Logan couldn't help himself from asking, "You tellin' me you're quittin'?"
He couldn't blame you, he thought he paid you a fair wage, but it seemed that everything had gotten more and more expensive lately. The rides had been few and far between and the tank of gas didn't take him as far anymore. The weekends kept him afloat, along with bachelor and bachelorette parties, prom nights, and knuckleheaded business men too fancy to drive a regular cab to the airport. Had it not been for Charles' medication he'd give you a raise. Logan wasn't stupid, he knew he couldn't do this without you.
"No," you shook your head, "I wouldn't do that to Charles."
But you'd do it to me, Logan thought and let the words unsaid hang in the air between you as he pulled onto the dirt road leading to the smelting plant.
"I'll figure something out," you said, before a smirk teased over your face, that smile breaking forth the old you hidden behind this morning's melancholia. "Maybe I should start an Only Fans or something," you laughed.
"What's that?" Logan grunted, too focused on keeping his foot soft on the brake and avoiding the potholes to hear your joking lilt.
"Only Fans?" you questioned, one eyebrow raised in surprise before your eyes softened at the corners. "It's a social media platform for porn," you explained, "It's subscription based so you make an account and people pay a monthly subscription to see your content."
Porn?
Slowing down to a stop outside the gate, Logan put the limousine in park, the engine still humming.
"And how's that gonna help you pay rent?" Logan wondered, turning slightly in his seat to finally get a good look at you.
You were quiet for a second, eyes searching his face before the sound of a distant train had you looking away, almost bashful. "It's ridiculous," you muttered, "I don't have anyone to do it with anyway."
Before Logan could cough up an answer your hand found the passenger door, and a gust of sharp desert air seeped in. "I'll figure out the rent somehow⌠Sleep well, Logan," you told him, a wistful smile coating your features, before you climbed out the limousine and opened the gate. His eyes stayed glued to you as he drove past you, flicking to watch you close the gate after him in the rearview mirror. When you headed for the tank without your usual wave, a frown pulled at his face.
Stepping out of the limousine, Logan watched you leave, watched the way your hips swayed with new interest. Reaching into the inner pocket of his suit jacket, he found his flask â desperate to quench this fresh thirst with the last sip of burning alcohol, smoothing his dry throat.Â
The cold coffee left a brown splatter as he discarded it; the coffee seeped into the sand. Inside the steeled walls he now called 'home' reeked of dust, like stepping into an antique shop, and Logan couldn't hold back his cough. Walking deeper into the plant with heavy steps, the old trinkets and equipment told a story of time passed.
So much time had passed.
Hanging his suit jacket over the back of one of the chairs Logan started working the small buttons on his shirt, shrugging it off before tossing it gently over the ironing board. Food would have to wait, he already knew the fridge wasn't stocked. Instead, he found the bottle of whiskey he'd left on the table, grabbing it by the neck before he took a large swig.
The whiskey helped, at least that's what he told himself, but his senses never dulled enough and the weight never got any easier. Sitting down heavy on the bed, Logan drank long and hard, but he couldn't keep his thoughts from trailing to you and what youâd muttered. I don't have anyone to do it with anyway.
What was it you'd called it? Just Fans? No, that wasn't right⌠Only Fans.
Logan remembered the first tape he ever saw; it had been the 70s, a summer in California, at some party he'd been forced to by a beautiful woman. The tape had been projected onto a wall in the living room, like background noise no one paid attention to. It had been lewd and obnoxious, but no one had seemed to mind, high as kites and drunk as skunks. Soon, Logan hadn't minded either, whisking away the woman to make his own private porn in one of the bedrooms.
Behind the woven fabric of his slacks, his cock twitched at the thought, but it wasn't the porn playing at the party, or the memory of the woman he'd fucked that filled his mind, it was you.Â
It was innocent at first; the way your front teeth nibbled on your bottom lip as you pondered your next move in a game of chess opposite Charles, how your eyes sparkled under the low streetlights as he drove you home at the end of the day, and how your perfume had filled the limousine and clung to his skin that one time you'd left your jacket in the passenger seat. His hand came down to rub over the growing bulge in his pants, soothing the growing ache with a hard press, pulling a rumbling moan from his chest.Â
Soon the innocent memories of you turned to filth. Logan's mind filled with images of you underneath him, his cock buried balls deep in your wet cunt as you withered for him. Then, as quickly as the first image had come, another took its place: of you on your knees with your mouth stuffed with his cock, gagging around him and swallowing him down like a good girl.
With each rubbing press to his cock, Logan couldn't shake the rolling images of you. It was wrong, never had he thought about you like that, never had he wanted to think of you like that, but once he'd started, he couldn't stop.
Working his fingers, it was almost instinctual as they moved to undo the button of his pants. His hand dug into his front, large hand palming himself with hard presses, as his cock hardened. Trailing his fingers upwards, stopping right above the elastic band of his underwear, his hand so close to wrapping around himself, a hint of shame pulled him out of the gutter.
He shouldnât think about you like that.
Pulling away, like he'd burnt his hand, Logan let out a deep grumbling sigh. Leaning back on both hands, he let his head fall back as he squeezed his eyes shut. In his pants his cock throbbed with need. It had been a long time since he'd had a woman, so long since he'd felt the velvet walls of a tight cunt wrapped around him, too long since he'd felt like he wasn't a monster, if only for a few blissful seconds.
Bringing the neck of the whiskey bottle to his mouth, Logan drowned his need in temporary numbness, focusing instead on how the warmth filled his chest and dulled every ache. Falling back with a heavy bounce, he nursed the bottle in the crook of his thick arm, letting his eyes fall shut.
Logan couldn't remember the last time he wasn't tired, couldn't remember when his body didn't ache with every move. His veins bled through with rust and alcohol, and he hoped the latter made the corrosion run smoother.
His eyes fluttered shut, and the same flashing images filled the darkness. Years of fighting, years of killing, all the people he'd lost. It was the same show every night, and every night it tore a piece of him away, of his joy.
The bottom of the whiskey bottle clanked sharply as it hit the floor and a cough got stuck in his throat. It ripped and jerked in his chest, and he keeled over himself, fighting against it. When his head hit the pillow again, his eyes didn't fall shut, they trailed the walls, found the holes of blinding daylight seeping in through the holes in the corrugated metal sheets, and his thoughts found you again.
Curiosity got the best of him, and a hand dug into the back pocket of his pants for his phone. The small icons and text blended together as the screen lit up his face. When Logan held the phone a little further away the screen only got blurrier. With an exasperated sigh, he sat up, his body protesting as he grabbed his suit jacket off the dining chair, digging into the inner pocket for his new glasses.
Slumping down in the chair, his glasses resting at the tip of his nose, he tapped at his phone. He rarely used the thing outside of work, but suddenly he tapped at something that made it speak to him.
"I'm sorry I didn't quite get that," his phone said.
"Hello?" Logan spoke back.
Again his phone lit up and the voice answered. "Hello, what can I help you with?"
"What is Only Fans?"
âŚâŚ..
Fitting a brittle leaf between your thumb and pointer finger, you studied Charles' plants. The table always looked a mess after he'd tended to them, dirt spilled onto the table and tools thrown haphazardly about. Cupping your hand, you brushed the dirt into your hand, and discarded it into a pot you thought needed it.
Flicking your wrist, you looked at the time again. It was getting late. Usually by this time, Logan would have you halfway home already. Resorting to cleaning up the tools, you decided to give him half an hour before you'd start looking for him. He never slept in, although you could clearly see he needed it.Â
Logan wasn't a man to show weakness, not to anybody, rather, he showed his teeth, barking and fighting against you or anyone who dared speak to him. It had intimidated you at first, and you'd held your tongue, afraid he'd bite your head off, but in time you'd come to realize that his gruff demeanor was just that, a façade.Â
Charles on the other hand, senile and more and more forgetful, was the opposite of his son. On good days he beat you at chess while he told you stories about 'the good ol' days'. His imagination was vast, telling stories about the X-Men like he knew them, like he'd been a part of them, and especially by nightfall his stories would become even wilder. He'd tell you about his 'abilities', how he could read minds. He'd tell stories about Logan too, tragic ones, that if it hadn't been for the stack of comics you'd found, you would've almost said they were true.
Finding the chair by Charles' bed, you watched him deep in sleep. A heaviness could be felt in your chest as you thought about how his good and lucid days had seemed to get fewer and fewer lately. You found yourself having the same conversations with him, and once again today, he didn't want to get out of bed, telling you his head hurt.Â
You wished you knew more of his condition, but Logan wouldn't tell you anything other than that Charles suffered from seizures, and if he didn't get his medication the consequences would be great. The way Logan had said it to you, his voice sharp and strict, it sounded serious, and in the year you'd taken care of Charles, you'd been diligent with his medication. Not once had you experienced a seizure with him.
Reaching over him, your palm found Charles' cheek. Stroking your hand lightly over his face, you felt the prickling stubble against your skin. His comment earlier about his head, had you worried. Logan usually supplied you with Charles' medication â from where you didn't know â there hadn't been any doctor's visits or health checks from what you could recall.
Maybe Logan didn't have insurance? It was your only explanation, a reason for why he'd found a more creative way of caring for his father.Â
In a way you respected it, hacked an unknowing crack in Loganâs harsh façadeâ he cared. Only respect didnât keep you from wanting Logan to tell you more, to open up, but wringing out more than a grunt from him was difficult. Instead, you made sure to let him know when you were running low on the pills and injections, and usually by the next day he'd hand over a new bottle.Â
Stroking over Charlesâ cheek, another chill of nervousness ran up your back where a worry tugged at your neck.Â
Yesterday, after a week had passed since you'd asked Logan for more medication. Heâd told you not to worry, that heâd have the pills soon, but running so low you'd had to resort to rationing Charles' doses.
Pulling back your hand, your eyes found your watch again, but before you could register the time, Charles stirred beside you. Then, an excruciating blinding pain permeated through your body. It rang in your ears and had your body shaking in agony, but at the same time you couldn't move. You wanted to scream, let out the pain that froze you to the chair, but no noise came out. When your vision started to go foggy, you thought that this must be what dying was like, but never would you have thought dying would feel this painful.
Through the ringing in your ears, a heavy creak of the tank door could be heardâ or was it a trick your brain played on you in your last moments? Like the broad figure moving closer, slowly, too slowly, like it walked through water. You couldn't see who it was, but you didn't have too. Surely, your brain showing you Logan in your last moments, must've been a trick. The figure hovered over Charles, maybe it feasted on him first, reaped his soul as an appetizer before it would have you.
And just as quickly as the pain had taken you, the pain stopped.
Heaving for breath, your body fell forward, it was like the air couldn't fill your lungs quick enough. Two large palms cupped your cheek, tilting your head to Logan's frowning face. If you didn't know better you thought he looked scared.
"You okay?" he barked, your head rolling in his hands, "Hey! Bub, look at me."
You found the strength to nod your head, but Logan seemed far from convinced. He swiped his thumb over your cupid's bow, a flash of red coating his thumb and his face turned to stone, his frown so deep it looked chiseled.
Then he moved with an uncharacteristic haste, hiking you up in his arms and carrying you out of the tank. Closing your eyes, you tried to put your brain back together the way it used to be, but everything felt scrambled. When your back hit the soft mattress of a bed, you finally opened them.
Over you, Logan's large form hovered. He said something to you, but you only registered his mouth moving, your eyes glued to his pink soft lips, and your vision cleared completely.
"Drink this," he ordered, shoving a glass of water in your hands, and just like that your hearing had snapped back. "'m gonna go check on Charlesâ don't fucking move."
With no energy left in your body, you wouldn't dream of it. Logan watched you take a careful sip, the water lukewarm, before he left you in what you finally realized was his bed. The first sip nourished your dry throat, like youâd walked for miles in the desert without tasting as much as a drop. Surging forward, you chugged the rest of the water before you fell back against his pillow, clutching the glass in the crook of your elbow.
The smell of him on his sheets overwhelmed your weakened mind; a deep heady smell with a warmth to it, woven through with the heaviness of man. It soothed your mushy muscles, helping release the tension in your body.
The time passed differently now, fast and slow at the same time, and after an eternity and a second Logan was back. The weight of him where he sat down at the edge of the bed, had your whole body tipping towards him. His large palm found your cheek again, the rough pads of his fingers soothing over the skin.
"You doin' okay?" he asked, his deep voice filtering through a hint of worry.
"W-what happened to himâ to m-me?" you managed to croak out.
Logan's heavy hand didn't move away when the furrow between his eyebrows deepened, the one that seemed to be a permanent feature on his face.
"He had a seizure," he told you, like it was obvious, taking the glass of water from your hands,
He must've caught the way your face turned, the confusion that flitted across it, one that spelled 'seizures don't affect other people'.
"Listen," he started, drawing back his hand, "Thereâs no other way of explainin' it to you other than tellin' you that all those stories he's told you about himâ about me⌠they're all true."
The frown that deepened over your face at his words, must've challenged the permanent one over Logan's face. "W-what? The stories about the X-Men?"
"Yes, the X-Menâ Is he talkin' a hole through your head about anything else?"
"No, but⌠there aren't any more mutants."
"Not new ones,â he sighed, âBut we're old, sweetheartâ the last there is." His voice went quieter and quieter as he spoke, a hint of sadness eating the words, before his palm found your cheek again. "You see⌠Charles he's a very powerful mutant, and years ago he started a school for mutantsâ"
"âI know all of that already Loganâ he told me," you cut him off, "I never believed him, I thought he was just confusedâ the stories theyâ"
"âI know, bub," this time he cut you off, but he let the next words linger on his tongue. Drawing back his hand, his eyes found the wall behind the bed. "I never meant for you to get hurtâ it's my fault. If he gets his medication he's fine, but⌠you ain't the only one who's a few hundred dollars shortâ it's been a slow month."
Before you had a chance to reply, Logan rose on his feet. "The seizures messes with your brain, so get some rest. I'm gonna get his medication, and I'll wake ya in the mornin'." Logan didn't wait for you to protest before he grabbed the car keys off the table, and left you alone in his bed.Â
Outside the moon climbed the sky, and the new darkness, along with your scrambled brain, had your eyelids feeling heavier and heavier.
âŚâŚ..
"Wake up, sweetheart."
Logan's gruff voice pulled you from a dreamless sleep; a sleep like you'd just closed your eyes. Blinking, your heavy eyelids pulled shut just as quickly as you'd opened them, leaving you with a snapshot of Logan's body hovering over you. You hummed, sleep coating your brain, while your body felt like you'd put it through the wringer at the gym.
"It's mornin'."
You tried again, blinking your eyes open with more success. Logan's black suit jacket was nowhere to be seen, instead he adorned a white tank top. Letting your gaze roll over him, you noticed the scars etched into his skin, so many scattered up and down his strong arms, and suddenly the memories of last night filtered back into your brain.
"Logan," you whispered so low even you weren't sure youâd heard it.
"I'm takin' you home, alright? I'll watch him today," he told you.
When Logan told you something, he meant it. Leaving you in his bed, it was like a replay of last night as he grabbed the car keys and black suit jacket off the table.Â
Slowly, you sat up and leaned on your elbows, letting the world spin for a minute. Your clothes from yesterday clung to your skin, and you felt both cold and sweaty as you got out of bed.
With each step you took every muscle ached, but somehow you managed to walk out the door. The burning light of the morning sun blinded you, and with one hand raised you shielded your eyes from the harshness while you walked closer to the humming impatient motor of Logan's limousine. Just as you'd sunk into the leather seat and managed to shut the door behind you, Logan stepped on the gas, and the smelting plant vanished in the rearview window.Â
When you'd finally left the dirt road behind and hit the highway, you cracked the window ever so slightly â the morning air blowing away the last of your tiredness. The closer you got to the city, the more your stomach growled. You hadn't had a thing to eat since lunch yesterday, the aftermath of Charlesâ seizure knocking you out before dinnerâ you needed something to eat.
"Can we stop here?" you asked and pointed at a sign advertising a diner off the next exit.
"I'm drivin' you home," Logan replied, his eyes glued to the road.
"Logan, please, I'm starving," you begged with a pout.
A beat passed, his fingers tapping over the wheel as he weighed his options, then his eyes found yours where they lingered. Staring back, you didn't know what to do. Logan wasn't a man that said yes, he liked things done his way. You bit down on your bottom lip, showing off your front teeth like a silent 'please' written over your face, and Logan huffed.
The loud buzz of conversation hit you first when you stepped into the packed diner, Logan in tow. Waiters ran back and forth between the booths lining the windows, taking breakfast orders and pouring coffee, and at the sound of the bell as the door swung shut behind you, one of them looked up at you.
"Seat yourselves," she said with a smile as golden as the syrup poured over hotcakes, "I'll be with you in a jiffy."
Walking deeper into the diner, you found an empty booth in a quiet corner. Logan seemed pleased, never too keen on people, and after what you'd come to know after last night, you could understand his hesitation.
Logan. The Wolverine.
You remembered the comics from when you were a kid, remembered this one kid in your class in elementary school that had been obsessed with them, reading every issue and Wolverine had been his favorite. He was a scientist now, last you heard, and here you sat opposite the comic character himself.
"Mornin', what can I get you guys?" the waitress asked, pulling up to your table.
"Um," you grabbed at the laminated menu in front of you, your eyes scanning over the breakfast items. Everything looked good, your stomach growling loud as you took in the pictures, but then again you didn't think you'd ever been this hungry before.
"Just coffee f'me, ma'am," Logan grunted.
"Could I get a stack of the blueberry pancakes⌠and a coffee for me too, please?" you ordered, watching the waitress with the name tag 'Stacy' write down your order.
"That'll be all for you guys this morning?" she smiled.
"Yes, thank you," you returned her smile.
"Alright, I'll be back in a second with your coffees."
While you waited for your pancakes, Logan wasn't much company. He sipped his coffee, black and piping hot, as he leaned against the corner of the booth, legs spread wide, watching the people coming and going. In the silence between you, you decided to study him while you sipped your own coffee. He must've felt your gaze over him, from the way he clenched his jaw, but he never turned his head to look at you, instead he let you look.
When your pancakes finally arrived, you dug in immediately. Fresh, hot and deliciously pillow-y and soft, it was the best thing you'd had in a while. The blueberries weren't too sweet, cutting through the sweetness of the pancakes with a tangy taste, while the bitter taste of your coffee woke you up and filled you with new energy.
"So," Logan suddenly spoke up, almost making the piece of pancake you were chewing on go down the wrong pipe. "How you feelin'?"
"Like I'm having the worst hangover in human history," you joked, "But better now after some food and caffeine."
Logan only hummed, turning his head back to people watching as you ate your pancakes. His silence had a frown work over your features when you placed your knife and fork down to sip on your coffee. He'd been so quiet all morning, which in truth wasn't new, but there was something about him now, something about the way his scowl dug a little deeper into his skin that had you asking:
"What are you thinking about?"
"Nothin'," he answered, curt and to the point.
"Clearly it's something," you pried with a tilt of your head.
Another beat passed, before he leaned forward, a cough getting stuck in his throat. It sounded worse than it was, he'd told you once. So, you sipped your coffee, your eyes flitting away like you needed to give him privacy.
"I've been thinkin' about your proposal," he finally said, and you felt your eyebrows pull together in a frown.
"Wait?" your eyes found his, "What proposal?"
"About that subscription thingâ the porn," he waved his hand, and leaned back again.
"Only Fans?" you asked, keeping your voice low, "It was just a joke, Logan."
"Well, maybe it's an idea for the both of us. I need money for Charles' medication, and you need money for rentâ it'll just be us earnin' a little extra on the side, a win-win situation."
Letting his words sink in, you mulled over his idea in your brain. It wasn't like you weren't attracted to Logan, in truth, you'd wanted him to fuck you for a while now, but it had only been a fantasy, one to conjure forth late at night when you slipped your hand into your panties. To have it become a reality, served up by Logan himself on a silver platter, you'd never imagined.
How could you say no?
"Okay," you said, your voice breathy as what you'd just agreed to settled in your stomach. Having a little more cash in your account every month wouldn't hurt, and getting dick regularly sounded just as nice, it had been too long. "I'm in."
Logan only replied with a curt nod accompanied by an approving grunt, "Now eat your pancakes so we can get goin'."
âŚâŚâŚ
"Cold feet?"
With the limousine parked outside your apartment building, a week's worth of anticipation came to a head. You and Logan hadn't really talked much in the days passed since the diner; Logan's main interest more in you feeling better after experiencing Charles' powers for the first time. He'd let you have a few days off, to heal up, to which you'd taken the opportunity to do some research and set up an Only Fans profile. Currently it was blank, but tonight that would change.
"No," you shook your head, telling true. "You?" you asked, turning in your seat to face Logan.
Logan eyes darted across your face. He never looked at you like that, and for a moment the oddity of the situation, of what you were about to do, settled in your stomach.
"No," Logan finally decided, and reached for the door handle, âLetâs get it over with before it gets too late.â
At his movement, you reached forward and grabbed his forearm, "Wait!"
With a grunt, Logan turned. "What?" he asked, his eyes settling on you with an eyebrow raised.
"I-I have an idea," you told him, and you didn't know why you stumbled over your words. With your hand still wrapped around his arm, his eyes fell to your touch, lingering before they found yours again.
"I was thinkingâ" you started, retracing your hand, "Well actually⌠I just restarted taking birth control and I wanted to settle into it before we have sex, so I thought maybeâ if you want to of course," you rambled.
"Spit it out, bub, I ain't got all night," Logan cut you off.
"I thought maybe I could suck you offâ here in the limo," you 'spat' out your suggestion, your front teeth immediately coming down to bully your bottom lip.
"You want to suck my cock⌠here?" he repeated. Leaning back in his seat, you didn't know if he spread his legs on purpose, or if he unconsciously drew your eyes to the bulge hidden behind his slacks.
"Yeah, I meanâŚ" you shrugged, "I thought it could be hot? Like something that people would want to see?"
"Right," Logan hummed, reminded of the invisible audience, and reached for the key in the ignition.
Leaving your apartment building in the rearview mirror, Logan searched for a more secluded place to park. The windows in the back of the limousine were tinted, impossible to look into, but you didn't want to take the risk of getting caught. After finding an empty parking lot, backing up and occupying a more private space in the back corner, Logan guided you around the limousine with a hand resting gently over the small of your back. Climbing into the back with you, his broad form filled the space.
Inside, he'd turned on the lights, the colors slowly fading in and out and casting soft shadows across his features. The leather creaked as he sat down, his spread legs already inviting you to slot between. A fleeting feeling of nervousness tickled in your tummy, the reality of what you were about to do washing over you like a wave on a stormy ocean.
Logan watched you from his seat, a picture of sin in his suit, as he slipped his hand into the inner pocket of his jacket and fished out his glasses. His jacket fit snugly over his wide shoulders and he'd undone the top buttons where you could glimpse curling chest hair. The way he looked at you through the glasses, eyes dark and curious, had a warmth of arousal starting to pool in the core of yourself.
Clearing your throat, you spoke up, "I was thinking I could set my phone up hereâ" you pointed to the space between the leather seats and the window. "And then you could use your phone and film me?"
After a little bit of fiddling to get your phone to stay upright, you turned to Logan, your phone capturing your slow walk towards him. He sat with his legs spread wide, his large palms resting on either side of his thighs. When you reached for the hem of your shirt, his finger twitched, digging into the leather, and a toothy smile spread over your features.
Tossing your shirt you sunk to your knees and slotted between his legs. Looking up at him through your lashes, you held his gaze as you sat pretty for him, fanning out the skirt you'd worn specifically for today. He reached for his phone and pressed record when you curled your hands behind your back to undo the clasp of your bra, capturing your bare chest.
The air nipped at your exposed skin, making goosebumps ripple over your skin. Looking up at Logan, his eyes burned against your skin where he took in your breasts, his eyes glided over your bare skin for the first time and soothed out the bubbling nerves that had been brewing. When your eyes caught on the tent growing in his pants, you had to restrain yourself from surging forward, your mouth already watering at the thought of tasting him for the first time â of your wet dreams becoming a reality.
"S'pretty," he murmured, voice deep and guttural, soaked in arousal.
He cupped your cheek gently, the rough pad of his thumb skating over your skin bringing with it a calming safety. Your eyelashes fluttered as you tilted your head into his hand, desperate to feel more of the weathered skin of his hand against your body.
"Y'sure you want this, sweetheart?" he asked.
Opening your eyes, you held his gaze. "Yes, please," you nodded in his large palm, "It's the only thing I've thought about all day." And it was the truth.
"Shit, baby," he groaned in response, dragging his hand down your neck to rest heavy over the top of your breasts. "S'that so?"
Gathering your hands in your lap, you nodded slowly, your teeth caught on your bottom lip as his hand brushed over your right breast. "Thought of how you'd taste," you confessed, the phone in his hand forgotten as you focused entirely on Logan.
"Yeah?" he prompted. One knuckle brushed over your hardened nipples, pulling a quiet whimper from youâ pleased he leaned back, "Take off my belt, then."
Bouncing on your knees, you leaned forward on his command, and pulled the leather belt from its loops. You did it slowly, tilting your head upwards to catch his eyes through the glasses. He helped you with the zipper, making you watch as he dragged it down.
With your eyes fixed on his hand you noticed three barely healed scars between every knuckle, and you remembered who Logan really was. The Wolverine. He caught you looking, and his hand tightened into a fist, tightening it for a beat before he relaxed it over his thigh. Leaning forward, you placed a soft kiss over his knuckles, and his hand dug into his thigh.
"Sweetheart," he breathed out, his voice strained.
In the depths of your chest you felt a pinch, a tiny stab in your heart that felt too real, too personal for what you were about to do. Willing it away, you leaned back on your ankles instead, your hands dipping into the waistband of his pants to pull down his slacks. Lifting his hips to help you ease them down, a quiet grunt escaped him, a deep sound that traveled down your spine and pooled in your core.
Behind the soft cotton of his underwear the firm hard line of his cock strained against the fabric. The sight of him, large and heavy, and hidden, had your eyes widening with lust, and a slickness soiling the gusset of your panties.
"You want my cock, don't you sweetheart?" he coaxed, his free hand finding your jaw where he cupped it, squeezing your cheeks together.
"Y-yes," you breathed out, your smile straining against his grip before you dropped your mouth open, showing him your tongue.
"There you go, babyâ good girl," he praised, pressing his thumb down on your tongue and rubbing the saliva around. A soft moan caught in your throat at the praise, and behind the camera Logan's eyes darkened at his new discovery.
Wrapping both your hands around his wrist, you held his hand in place as you closed your lips around him. Slowly, you moved your head, up and down, up and down, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked on his thumb like you would his cock. Logan's eyes were intense behind his glasses, his jaw clenching tight while he stared into your own.
"Such a filthy little thing f'meâ so desperate for my cock down your throat you'll suck anything, ain't that right?"
A choked moan escaped you; they way he talked to you adding fuel to the fire in your core. Between the seam of your cunt you ached, wet arousal dripping into your soiled panties. He must've watched the way you melted for him, your brain turning to mush in front of him, because when he pulled his hand away, he laughed. A deep guttural thing from the depth of his chest.
"C'mon little angel," he tapped at your cheek, "Let's put you out of your misery."
Clouded in arousal, your brain stalled at the nickname, and you felt a new gush of arousal spill between the seam of your cunt. Logan's nostrils flared and a wild darkness settled over his face.
Shifting on your knees, you leaned forward to palm him through his underwear. Making sure to flick your eyes up at him (and the camera), you dragged your finger up and down gently, seductively, before you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his clothed length. Above you, Logan sucked in a breath, his free hand coming down to pet your head and press your face firmly against his bulge.
You couldn't help but breathe him in. Breathe in the heady deep scent of man, cheap whiskey and cigars â the unique scent of Logan. When you let out the softest little sigh, you felt him twitch against you, and quickly his hand on your head traveled down to the back of your neck where he pulled you back with a harsh yank.
You yelped.
"No more teasin'â" he reprimanded and let go of you, "Be a good little angel and make me come."
Logan leaned back into the leather, his body relaxed and inviting with one hand still occupied with filming you. Watching the deep furrow forming between his brows, and the way his eyes burned your face through his glasses, you could tell he wanted to take control, make you do what he wanted.
With a curling smile, knowing full and well you had the upper hand with one of his hands occupied, you slipped your eager hands into the elastic waistband of his underwear and tugged.
A wild and wiry patch of graying hair met you first, and you felt a flock of eagerness flutter in your stomach. Tugging the fabric down slowly, you made a show of revealing just an inch at a time. When you finally reached the end of him, you felt the wet head of him graze your cheek, leaving a streak of precum, as it sprung free.
His hard cock bopped heavily in front your face, and you felt your eyes widen at his size. He was big. The hefty length of him cushioned against his balls hanging heavy over the band of his underwear. Reaching a shaky hand forward you took him in your hand for the first time and familiarized yourself with the thick weight of him. With your other hand you traced the thick veins that lined the girth of him, memorizing every ridge and freckle before coming up to thumb at the fat tip where a pearl of wetness beaded.
A mix of awe and uncertainty pooled in your chest. How in the hell were you gonna fit all of him down your throat?
"'s okay, angel," he cooed, his heavy hand back to stroke over your head. His touch soothed you, a rhythmic warmth that shed all your insecurities.
With a content sigh you leaned forward and parted your lips to press a soft kiss to the leaking tip, pulling a "There you go, good girl, open your mouth f'me," from Logan. Urged on by his praise, you got a little braver. Flattening your tongue against him you started with a few gentle, teasing licks to the tip, your tongue dipping into the slit to taste him in earnest.
Above you, a groan rumbled in Logan's chest, a sound that had you eagerly taking more of him in your mouth. Suckling carefully on the fat tip, you let your tongue tease the underside of him, humming in content when you felt him harden even more in your hands.
Letting the excess spit run down the length of him, it pooled over your hands where they struggled to wrap around the thick girth. Slick sounds came from your hands when you started to move them over the soft skin, coating him fully in your saliva with every tug.
"Shit, bub, y'look so fuckin' good around my cock," Logan's voice vibrated from his chest, "But y'can take it deeper, can't you? Take that big cock down your throat?"
Well, you would certainly try.
Your knees dug into the carpeted floor of the limousine, pressing a deep pattern into your skin. Popping off his cock, you sat up a little more and shifted your weight. Looking up at him through your lashes, you were reminded of the camera pointed at you. Looking straight down the barrel of his phone you sunk down further on his cock.
Dropping your jaw, you felt your lips stretch as his hefty cock filled your throat. All too quickly the head of him kissed the back of your throat and you had to fight your gag reflex. Pulling off with a gasp, your eyes widened as you looked up at him.
"It's so big," you told him, both of your slicked hands jerking him in a slow rhythm.
"I know, angel," he cooed, his thumb running over your cheek. Leaning forward again, you placed a soft kiss to the fat head, and he hissed, "Too big f'you?"
"No," you shook your head, smearing the head from one corner of your mouth to the other, spreading the precum leaking onto your lips, and humming at the taste of him. "It's perfectâ taste so perfect," you said through a pillowy kiss to the head.
With a buck of his hips, he pushed back into your eager mouth, slipping the fat head through your swollen lips and into your flexed throat, "That's itâ right where it belongs, huh?"
Fitting him as deep as you could down your throat you felt dizzy with desire, an almost overwhelming feeling; the smell of him so close, how he filled your mouth and made your jaw ache. When your nose pressed into the grayed patch of wiry hair at the base of his cock, you spluttered with need, spit soaking the length of him as you came off him with a cough.
In an instance, Logan was on you, his free hand petting your cheek as he searched your eyes, "You okay?" I wouldn't be until after, when you edited the video that you'd realize he'd dropped the phone, focusing only on you in that moment.
"Yes," you replied, looking into his eyes with a toothy smile, "I want moreâ I want your cum."
"Fuck," he hissed, letting go of your cheek and leaning back into the leather seat, pointing his phone at you, "Go on."
Fitting him back down your throat again, you got lost in it as you found a rhythm. With a hand stationed at the base, you bobbed your head, letting your tongue dance over the length. More saliva dripped down and pooled over your hand, slicking up his pubes. It was messy, and hot, sticky and wet. Above you, Logan muttered praises between grunts and moans, encouraging you to take him deeper and deeper.
Feeling your throat loosen with every bob of your head, you pushed down and swallowed around him. Your eyelashes fluttered as you gagged and coughed, tears starting to prickle from your eyes, but you were determined to please himâ to make him feel good.
When his hand came down to wrap around your throat, his thumb skating over your neck to feel himself, your eyes rolled back in your head in pleasure â the sight of you making Logan let out a deep growl. He kept the hand clasped around your throat as he started to buck his hips, feeding you his cock in small lazy thrusts.
"Right there, angel, so fuckin' good f'me⌠my good girlâ choke on it," he mumbled.
You hummed around him at the praise, the vibrations pulling another deep moan from him. Fucking your face, bubbling spit trickled out the corner of your lips, soaking him and the coarse hair on his balls where they slapped heavy against your chin. Slipping a hand between your thighs, you couldn't help but touch yourself through your underwear â the white cotton translucent and drenched with your arousal.
Chasing his high, Logan's thrusts started to come quicker. More and more saliva overflowed, dripping down your bare chest and slicking you up in depravity. The grip Logan had around his phone was lazy, but he made sure to capture the way the shifting colors of the low limousine light gleamed over your slicked up chest.
"Such a good fuckin' throatâ" he growled, squeezing around your throat as he pushed himself as deep as he could. Your nose brushed the wiry patch of his pubic hair, and you felt yourself start to gag around him as your lungs squeezed and throat tightened. He kept you down as you spluttered and swallowed around the length of him, and when the edges of the world started to blur he pulled you off with a jerk.
Gasping for air and filling your lungs with lost breaths, the hand Logan had wrapped around your neck was now pushing your own hand away to wrap around himself. The tears on your cheek mixed with the strings of saliva on your chin, as you looked up at him through fluttering lashes. Watching him stroke his cock, your eyes widened with interest as you shifted on your knees to sit up straighter.
His hard cock pulsated and throbbed with need as he stroked. Up and down you watched his hand; watched how beads of precum drooled over his fingers, mixing with your saliva before it dripped down onto your chest. A primal feeling came over you â an urge so strong to taste him come undone and claim you as his.
"Please," you begged, the fat head ghosting against your lips with every jerk, "come for me, pleaseâ wanna taste you so badly."
Logan's grunts and growls grew deeper and wilder as he stroked himself faster. "Look at me, angel," he ordered, and when your eyes locked with his, combined with a final hard stroke, he aimed the wet tip towards your face and came hard.
The first pump of his sticky warm seed, made you flinch before a smile widened and you leaned closer. Dropping your mouth open, he came all over your face, coating your cheeks, your nose, and forehead. Thumbing at the tip, he aimed at your waiting mouth to squeeze out the last few drops, and he finally let you taste him.
Wrapping your lips around the head, you suckled around him through content hums. You were covered in his cum, claimed, feeling the sticky seed drip down the bridge of your nose. You loved the way he tasted, salty and bitter, like Logan.
When the feeling of your tongue dancing over his sensitive head became too much, he pulled away with a hiss. His phone was still aimed at your face, and a little more clear-headed he filmed the aftermath of his orgasm closer.
"Even prettier with my cum on your face, angel," he said, letting his finger drag over your skin to collect his cum.
Pretty.
"Thank you," you whispered, your throat hoarse as he fed you his cum.
You hummed around his finger as he cleaned you up, making sure not a single drop would go to waste, and when he was pleased with his work after you'd shown him your empty tongue, he cupped your cheek.
"Good little angel," he told you with a pad, and pressed the stop button on his phone.
Back at your apartment the buzz of the excitement of the night lingered as you replayed the scene on your computer. You thought about Logan, about where he was and who might sit in the seat where you'd sucked him off only hours earlier. You thought about how filthy his mouth had been, and how much it had turned you on. And lastly, you thought about how you couldn't wait to see him again, and for him to finally fuck you.
Editing the video together, the last thing you did before you fell asleep was upload. Logan had taken a photo of your hand over his clothed cock before he'd left you, a picture that was now set as your profile picture. All tuckered out, you closed your computer and fell back against your pillows, dreaming of the smell of leather and cheap whiskey.
James & Angel â¨đź đ Texas subscribers: 15,478
1 post: "cute girl gives older limousine driver a sloppy blowjob"
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hopefully this was okay? i have concepts of a part 2 lol so please don't ask for it. instead, a comment telling me your favorite part is always welcome, and/or tell me what you'd comment under james' & angel's first video! my ask box is always open to chat <3 and thank you for reading!!
Š shellshocklove, 2024 i do not give any permission to repost, translate, feed to AI or redistribute any of my writing, with or without credit!
#listen Iâm a simple woman if there is a blowjob fic#I am simply gonna read LMFAO#also loved how you made the reader unaware to the fact of who Logan and Charles really were#havenât seen that yet so that was a nice touch#also fyi yeah Logan would talk you through everything NSNSJDBDDJDN#logan smut#logan fic
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THIS IS SO GOOD WOWOWOWOW!!! Iâm always a sucker for two people who have been through the wringer that find comfort in one another. Broken people that find solace and love is just so MWAH!
Also I must say when Logan was mad because he was so worried the reader did something stupid made my heart crack. One of the best fics Iâve read recently truly!
Cardinal
Pairing: Logan Howlett ("Worst" Wolverine) x f!reader
Rating: Explicit (for themes and smut).
Word count: 16.6k
Summary: At the edge of the world, someone from another keeps you from stepping off.
Tags/Warnings (Please, read the warnings!!): Post-Deadpool & Wolverine, female reader (female anatomy etc + 2 mentions of hair long enough to fall into your eyes), strangers-to-lovers, depression, suicidal ideations, suicide attempt and mentions thereof, addiction, drinking alcohol, drugs (mentioned not used), panic attacks, sobriety meetings, anxiety, recovery, co-dependency vibes, sprinkles of soulmateism, explicit smut (oral and unprotected PIV), happy ending (yay!!). If I forgot anything, please let me know!
Notes: Deadpool and Wolverine re-triggered my X-Men obsession and what started as a means to write some smut actually became this idea about two broken people who shouldn't even have met in the first place finding each other. There's a lot of me in this story, more than there's ever been I think. I'm sorry for this glimpse into my head, and I'm sorry if this isn't as Reader-insert as it should be, but... I'm not that sorry, you know. Huge thanks to @javier-pena , for not only reading this over and fixing so many embarrassing mistakes, but also for saying she'd read this even if it was 20k words and always believing in my abilities as a writer, even when I sometimes didn't.
If you want to read the smut as a standalone, you can! Just CTRL + F (or search in page) for 'Logan reaches for' and read away.
THE LOOKOUT
With closed eyes, you inhale the cool, December air, before looking down at your feet. Here, at the edge of the lookout, the grass has been trampled. You imagine friends taking bets on who dares get closest to the edge, lovers making memories, families taking pictures. Itâs strangely soothing that maybe youâre not the first to stand here to do this.Â
Far below your feet, the water laps at the rocks. The force of it depends on the weather and tonight itâs violent, with big splashes and crashing sounds. The wind tugs at your coat, pulling you towards the water as if to help you along, making you look up again as you hold your balance. In front of you, the line of the horizon is dark but visible â it would have been impossible to make out if the moon hadnât been as bright as it is.
Itâs like youâre looking at the edge of the world.
During the weeks that fall had made way for winter, you scoped the place out a couple times. The first time you stood at this cliffâs edge, the place it took you to mentally scared you so much that you got back into your car and broke down in tears. The next couple times, things became more and more serious, as your life crumbled around you, and your feelings numbed, and nothing seemed to matter anymore.
Something had crept in while you werenât looking, settling somewhere behind your eyes and spreading out to make a home behind your ribs, slowly but surely changing you. And once you realized it, it was already too late. It had grown large, became jilted and jealous, like it wanted all of you. It pushed away everyone and everything you held dear, until it was just you and that⌠something.
Especially during the quiet of the night, the lookout became soothing, a strange sense of familiarity enveloping you each time you were here. It was addictive and pretty soon, it became a daily routine to visit. But lately itâs been losing its shine, your feelings here dulling and darkening too. Youâre exhausted, fed up, tired of giving it more of you.
Today you want it to be your last time here.Â
Youâve had countless hours to contemplate what it would be like, imagined â all but romanticised â how the cold water would paralyse your limbs if the impact wouldn't do the trick. You read somewhere that itâs apparently like falling asleep when the water finally fills your lungs. Youâll be gone, but the thing will be too.
The thought makes your eyes fill with tears, but not from fear. All you feel is relief, like itâs right, how itâs supposed to be. It makes you smile despite everything, andâ
âHey, stop!â
A voice behind you thunders through the silence and makes you shriek into the night, dirt toppling over the edge of the lookout below the shuffle of your foot. A string of curses follows, heavy footfalls behind you indicating that the intruder is approaching you.
âFuck off!â you throw over your shoulder, your voice a roar with how itâs amplified by the wind.Â
After, your throat closes up, fighting the angry tears over the fact that you canât even fucking kill yourself in peace. Never have you seen anyone here at night, never. What you hate even more is how it breaks your momentum. The haze that was surrounding you is pierced, and your bodyâs baser instincts kick in. Adrenaline suddenly pumps through your veins, making your legs tremble, your heart hammer, your body scream for you to step back from where youâre standing. Your anger, however, has you nailed to the floor.Â
You almost miss the much softer, âHey,â as a man steps into your peripheral vision. You pretend like you donât hear him, or see him â you simply pretend he isnât there, focussing on getting back into your previous mindset.Â
But then he takes his hands out of his pockets.
âDonât fucking touch me,â you warn, hating how your voice comes out trembling â weak.
âEasy.â He holds his hands up in surrender. âWasnât planning on it.â
You stand there together for what feels like hours. You will yourself to not let it affect you, setting your jaw to keep your teeth from clattering on account of the cold, allow the wind to blow your hair into your eyes without brushing it away. Even when it begins to rain, you donât move, donât blink even once more than you need to. From the corner of your eye you watch the man shove his hands back in the pockets of the brown leather jacket heâs wearing, and you quietly celebrate that your surroundings are fazing him more than they are you.
âYou knowââ he begins.
âIâm not really looking for a conversation.â
âMe neither,â he immediately counters, suddenly impatient, âso Iâll get right to it: You planning on jumping? Because if you think the waterâs gonna be nice to you, youâve got that wrong. Youâll end up in there feeling everything, that fall isnât gonna do shit.â
Having expected a gentle approach, his bluntness and his tone knock the wind out of you. You cock your jaw, the shame creeping up your body the first bit of warmth youâve felt in a while. Your cold fingers ball to fists as you will yourself not to care. Yes, his words and the way he's shatterĂng your expectations with them sting, but you donât even know this guyâ
âAnd thereâs nothing fuckinâ peaceful about it, itâs just panic. Right before you go too farâŚâ He raises a fist and holds it against the center of his chest, â...thereâs this burning right here thatâs hell.â
âAnd what makes you such an expert?â you finally spit out.
âDied like that a couple times,â he says without waiting a beat.
The casual statement of something so bizarre beats your resolve before you know it, your head turning in his direction. ââA couple timesâ?â
âI, uhâŚâ You watch him hesitate, the moonlight illuminating the tick of his jaw, the bob of his throat as he swallows, the way his chest falls as he sighs, âLetâs just say I canât die.â
Before you can stop yourself, you snort at that. âThat must fucking suck.â
He barks out a laugh, âGot that right.â It startles you when his head suddenly turns to you, when he looks you in the eye for the first time. âBut trust me, being down there isnât much better.â
Thereâs something in the way he looks at you that makes you waver. You canât really place it, or decipher why it makes you want to open up to him. Maybe itâs because youâre freezing and itâs your body betraying you, tricking you into moving so you can generate some warmth, moving your lips to keep them from going blue. Or maybe itâs simply because heâs a stranger and itâs so much easier to be honest when there are no consequences.
âThings just feel soâŚ,â you begin, voice shaky. Every possible way to end the sentence crosses your mind, seemingly all wrong, before you settle on whatâs closest to how you feel, âendless.â
To your relief, he doesnât say anything. Doesnât tell you to give it time that it will get better, or any of the other bullshit youâve heard from all the other people that had been in your life and left a long time ago. You do find something else in the shift in his eyes, something you havenât encountered before.
Understanding.
It might be worse. If anything, itâs overwhelming, making your eyes dart away from his as you sniff.Â
The wind still tugs at you, the waves still hit the rocks, but your moment seems to have passed. Itâs a sobering conclusion, a twisted version of wrong place, wrong time. Or maybe it was him who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way, the outcome is the same.
You take a step back, and another, but it takes considerable effort; you hadnât taken your numb legs into consideration. You stumble, falling back on the dewy, cold grass, not quick enough to catch yourself on your hands. With a groan, you move to sit upright.
âShit. Hey, you still with me?â The stranger kneels next to you, fingers lifting your chin to look into your eyes. âJesus, youâre fucking freezing.â
âNo s-sh-hit,â you retort.
He sighs, offering you a hand so he can pull you up. âCâmon, let's get you warmed up.â
â â â â â
Logan.
Thatâs his name.Â
Itâs how he introduced himself, anyway, after he suggested you follow him. To his credit, he did offer to drive you, but you didnât want to leave your car in the parking lot of the lookout. Logan waited 15 minutes for you while you put the blowers on the highest, warmest setting and waited for the feeling to return to your limbs. After, his brown truck led the way here â here being some hole in the wall, 24 hour diner. You could have not followed, but the drive was kind of mesmerizing; the night seemed darker than usual, and Loganâs tail lights served as a lighthouse.
Outside, the diner is all Christmas lights and flashing signs, but the interior is like something straight out of Twin Peaks; booths to the left, red barstools to the right, a girl that looks too pretty and too young to be here standing behind the counter. There were two other patrons you spotted along the way as Logan led you to one of the back booths. Once seated, Logan studied the pamphletsâor pretended to, more like, because as soon as the waitress came up he ordered two whiskeys and nothing else.
Between then and now, as you nursed your drink sip by careful sip, you hadnât learned much more about him other than that he could knock back a glass of whiskey like he got paid to do so. And in truth, you like it this way; preferring silent company, the droning of the machinery behind the counter and the quiet hum of a song on the jukebox next to the entrance. The white noise helps to distract from the white noise in your head. Settling back into the leather cushions of the booth, you let some warmth seep back into your body. Opposite you, Logan does the same.Â
Some moments after you finish your drink, one of the waitresses walks up to your booth to ask you about a refill, like sheâs asked Logan twice now. Youâre handing her the glass when Logan says, âSheâs had enough.â
Your head whips from her to him. âExcuse me?â
He doesnât say anything, and from the corner of your eye, you see the girl leave. With your glass. Loganâs is on his lips, his eyes observing you over the rim, looking at you like heâ Dammit. You sigh deeply, a sense of anger filling you. You donât need this, least of all from him. When you stand from the booth, those eyes follow you, making you voice your observations,
âQuit pitying me, Logan.â
âIâm not,â he says before taking another sip. âYou still have to drive.â
You quirk an eyebrow at him. âAnd you donât?â
Logan shrugs. âItâs different for me.â
Anger is still prevalent in your voice when you ask, âWell, let me guess, itâs another case of âI died like that a couple timesâ?âÂ
He hums.
âAnd how does that work?â
âRegenerative ability,â he sighs. Another sip before he elaborates, âX-Gene.âÂ
The admission makes you plop back down in your seat. Well, that explains things â heâs a mutant. Youâre not familiar with that world, but you know enough to know it meant that. It isnât like you couldnât have deduced it before, but truthfully, you kind of thought he was bullshiting you as part of some tactic. Now, his actions and words make more sense: He really knows what itâs like to... Thatâs why he had that look on his face. Suddenly, you see him in a different lightâ
âNow whoâs pitying who, hmm?â Logan asks, giving you a thin-lipped smile that doesn't reach his eyes as he sets his glass down on the table.
âIâm not, Iâm just⌠processing. So this...â you lift his glass, swirl the contents around, â...doesnât even affect you?â
âIt does. For a few seconds.â He plucks the glass back from your hand, and throws the whiskey back with one gulp. His pupils dilate, pushing the hazel of his irises out until his eyes are almost black for a second, two⌠before going back to normal. âBut if I chugged the bottle, Iâd pass out.â
âWell, so would I,â you say with a chuckle. âSo maybe weâre not that different after all.â
Just as the corner of his mouth lifts, your smile falls, because⌠it isnât true; youâre very different. Youâre pretty sure you donât have what it takes to do what he did tonight. To care enough to do it. To sit with a stranger and hear them bitch and moan about being denied a drink. A feeling creeps up on you, sticky and uncomfortable, like youâve overstayed your welcomeâburdened him.
âI should head home,â you say, standing again.
Lightning fast, Loganâs hand shoots out to close around your wrist. âThat really where youâre going?â
âYes,â you reply. When you pull your hand back, he doesnât let up. You fish your car key out of your pocket with your free hand, voice tighter when you say, âLet me go.â
âJust promise me something,â he says, eyes as dark as theyâd been earlier, yet his drink has gone untouched since. âDonât go back there again.â
âNot making promises I canât keep,â you say, giving him a wry smile. âTo strangers, but least of all to myself.â
He sighs, and lets you pull yourself from his hold.
THE CRAVING
New Years comes and goes, and you quickly discover that it was foolish superstition to think that it might change how you feel.
You find yourself in some club, a drink in each hand. You hate to admit it, but Loganâs words scared you out of your original idea and the only time you can bear to think of how to move on from it is when alcohol soothes the embarrassing grief of your shattered, macabre fantasy. Itâs not a good way to deal with things, but it works.
Thereâs a part of you that welcomes feeling anything at all, but that⌠something inside you is busy trying to squash it.Â
Itâs getting somewhere, because you have no idea how much youâve already had to drink, but youâre buzzing pleasantly. Adding to it, you knock both drinks back, slamming the glasses on the bar before spinning around and facing the crowd of dancing bodies. The music sucks, the dance floor is cramped, youâre tired⌠The truth is that youâre too old for this, but itâs easy to escape here, surrounded by strangers. You clumsily drag the back of your hand over your wet mouth, push your sweaty hair from your eyes, and join them.
The past couple weeks, you found yourself craving something. Contact. And here is where you can get your fill; a hand on your waist, lips on your ear, the music too loud and yourself too drunk to even comprehend whatâs being said, but never more. You want them to get close, but never too close.
After some time â could be an hour, could be 10 minutes â you make your way to the bathroom. Itâs quieter here, the dulled thump of the music making the time you spend there feel slow and syrupy.Â
When you exit the stall, you bump into someone.
Itâs a man. The dark hood over his head obscures his eyes, but you canât help but think heâs looking right at you when a bright, almost unnatural grin appears on his face. It draws you in like a magnet, more so when he says, âNeed something to take the edge off?âÂ
Curiously, you watch as he opens his palm, long fingers unfurling slowly until they reveal a small plastic bag in his hand.Â
âFirst timeâs on the house.â
You have no idea what it is exactly, but your eyes widen. This is new territory for you, and all the possibilities it opens up are suddenly invading your mind. As if on auto-pilot, you reach for the place where you keep your money, the sound of the door opening completely lost on you.
A hand closes around your bicep, pulling you aside with a quick yank of an arm.
âShe isnât interested, pal.âÂ
Itâs another man, who effortlessly tucks you half behind him. Before you can protest beyond an indignant huff, thereâs a sound, like a sword being unsheathed, and you catch a flash of red, and of knives. Frowning, you try to get a better look, but your view is obscured by the manâs shoulder. The hooded man seems undeterred, regarding the weapons with the same sickening grin, before leaving the bathroom, muttering something that you donât understand on the way out. The sword sound returns, the man twists around, andâ
âLogan?â you slur in disbelief.Â
Logan doesnât reply, instead takes hold of your arm again, making you follow him out of the bathroom. There he stops the two of you to murmur something to a woman wearing the same clothes as him, before tugging you along again. Youâre stumbling after him on account of his pace and the iron grip he has on you as he leads you to the back door. He pushes it open with enough force to make the hinges creak, a gust of wind blowing in your face. Itâs a contrast to go from the crowded, sweaty club to the silent, cold back-alley where tall brick walls and employee cars cage you in. You shake your arm and Loganâs grip loosens â another and he lets you go.
âHow did you even findââ You cut yourself off, eyes widening, âOh, my god, are you following me?â
Logan scoffs, narrowing his eyes. âOh, please, do you think I have time to follow you around all day?â
âYouâre here, arenât you? You and your fuckingâŚ,â you gesture wildly into the air at him, âsavior complex.â
âI work here,â he growls. When you give him a look, he adds, âItâs temporary. âSides, me and my savior complex are the reason that creep isnât selling god knows what to you in that bathroom right now!â His voice is a roar, echoing off the walls around you.
âMaybe I wanted that creep to sell god knows what to me in that bathroom,â you say, doing a poor impression of his voice, before turning and walking away from him.
Logan sighs. âWhere are you going?â
âIâm leaving.â
âAnd then what, huh?â
âI donât fucking know, Logan,â you say, twisting around to face him again, arms spread out by your side. âFigure out a new way out of this.â
âYeah? Third timeâs the charm?â
âWhy do you even care, huh? You donât even know me,â you say. Almost immediately, you let out a bitter laugh as your own words hit your ears, a sad realization dawning on you. âBut I guess that makes two of us.â
Itâs not like you expected him to, but he doesnât answer.
âYou know I used to like myself? I used to smile, I used to have friends, I used to be more sober than drunk. But this feeling, it takes⌠everything.â You raise a fist, hold it to the center of your chest. âIt takes everything I love, pushes away everyone I love, including myself. It eats me up, and wants more and more, until Iâm something Iâm not and until Iâm so far away from that version of myself, my old self, that it feels easier to just fuckingââ you pause with a wet gasp for air.
âDestroy yourself,â Logan finishes for you.
Your chest heaves, an unshed tear clings to your lash line. âExactly.â
He takes a step closer to you. âLet me take you home,â he says, voice gentle.Â
You should hate the implications of that gentleness, but you donât. In your drunk state of mind, itâs easier to admit itâs nice that someone understands, that someoneâs there to stop you from going too farâŚÂ
Tomorrow, when some of your pragmatism returns, youâll deny this embarrassing thought ever occurred; if relying on other people worked, it would have worked a long time ago, and you wouldnât be standing here with him. If youâre lucky, you might even forget this entirely, and wake up with a hangover that youâll enjoy a little too much because it feels like a punishmentâ
âWhat about your job?â you ask with a sniff.
Loganâs palm finds the space between your shoulder blades with a gentle push, the warmth of it seeping in through your clothes, and he leads you to his truck. âTheyâll manage without me.â
â â â â â
When you wake, your world is tilted sideways, a blanket is pulled up to your chin and there's a pillow under your head. Theyâre not your own; the blanket is itchy and the pillowâs too small. When you try to move your legs, they stick uncomfortably to the material below them, and you realize youâre on a leather couch. You squint at the light that comes in from a window across from youâ
âMorninâ, sunshine.â
The voice startles you, eyes shifting to focus on the source: A man lying on his front on the floor, chin in his hands as he kicks his feet back and forth in the air.Â
âWish I could say itâs a pleasure, but it hasnât been very pleasurable. Youâve been barfing up the place since the moment you stepped inside. Kept poor Al up all night. Her ears are sensitive,â he adds with a whisper. âBut donât worry, she left about an hour ago.â
âWho are you?â you slur, blinking against the light.
âLogan.â He sighs when you frown. âI know, not how you remember. This is what I look like during the day; blessed with incredible good looks at night and, well,â he gestures at his face thatâs covered in scars, "this, during the day. Bit of a reverse Princess Fiona situationââ
âCut it out, Wade,â comes the sharp protest from next to you. With considerable effort, you turn your head and see the actual Logan, slumped back in a recliner next to the couch, rubbing some sleep out of his eyes while motioning for the other man to go.
âIâll let you two talk.â Wade winks.
Logan stands when Wade does, walking from your field of view. Your head is scrambling to catch up, trying to piece together what happened last night, but only coming up with bits and pieces.
âHow are you feeling?â Logan asks as he makes his way back to you, handing you a glass of water.
You flinch when the front door closes behind Wade with a bang, before taking the glass from Logan and taking a few thankful sips. âLike shit.â
âYeah,â is all he says as he sits back down.
âWhatââ
âYou fell asleep in the car. Didnât know where to take you, figured the couch was the safest place.â
âOhâŚ,â you say, voice small.Â
You try not to think about being so wasted that you had to be carried out of Loganâs car, or about what Wade said earlier about the things that happened as soon as you stepped inside the apartment. During your silence, Loganâs fingers fiddle with the armrest, before his hand balls into a fist, and it unlocks something in your hazy memory.
âI have the weirdest memory of you having⌠a sword?â
You watch as Loganâs lips purse in amusement. His tongue rolls around in his mouth, seemingly contemplating something, before saying, âYou probably saw these.â He holds up his fist, flexing his forearm before three blades shoot from between his knuckles like claws, accompanied by a shing!
âJesus fucking Christ,â you startle, spilling some water on your blanket. Your head spins with your hangover and the bizarity of the situation. If it didnât sound so much like how it did in your memory, you might think you were still drunk.Â
Thereâs so many things you want to ask, your intrigue almost winning out over your hangover until the sharp start of a headache gives you pause. Instead, you take another sip of water before rubbing your temple.
âItâs a story for another time,â Logan says, like he can read your mind, and you want to ask him that, too. His claws retreat, the cuts they leave between his knuckles immediately smoothing over until theyâre gone. âI gotta go check if I still have a job.â
The words make you feel warm all over, the memory of your back-alley conversation coming back in full force. The thought of the things you admitted to him and that you put him in the position that he had to risk his job for you make you feel even warmer, your gaze no doubt laced with embarrassment and worry when you look at him.
ââS not your fault,â Logan assures, standing and fishing his car key from the pocket of his jeans. âYou donât have to rush but um, make sure you close the door behind you on the way out. Gets jammed sometimes.â
âYeah, okay,â you say, watching as he makes his way to the front door.Â
He takes a final glance at you over his shoulder, then leaves, accompanied by a bang.
THE PUZZLE
It takes you a little over a week to muster up the courage to go back. Admittedly, your courage is aided by another, foreign feeling. You donât have a name for it yet, or maybe youâre afraid to call it what it is, but somewhere along the week, you became consumed with the thought that feeling like you did wasnât all there was. That there is something beyond this.Â
Perhaps foreign wasnât the right way to describe it, because it is something youâve felt before â itâs just been long dormant. The last time, it lasted about a month before it all came crashing down, and you swore you wouldnât fall for it again, but you canât help it. The feelingâs too sweet, and the idea that thereâs still some baser instinct willing you to keep fighting for yourself makes you feel like the sun is shining on you.Â
So yeah, maybe youâre just having one of your good weeks, where the thing sleeps â quiet while its presence still simmers. But you figured nowâs your chance to take advantage of its unguarded moment.
Sneaking into the building is surprisingly easy. It helps that it isnât anything fancy. You wanted to forego the humiliation of ringing the bell and him not letting you in, but standing in front of the door now, panting after climbing three flights of stairs, you donât know if this is much better.Â
Just when youâre about to knock, the door swings open. In the opening, Logan has one arm in his jacket, head twisted to watch the other thatâs caught halfway in the sleeve. It takes him almost bumping into you to realize your presence. âShit, sorry.â He steadies himself with a hand on your arm, the touch leaving you as fast as it appeared.
âHi,â you breathe, taking a step back to give him a little more space.
He nods in greeting. âBrings you here?â
It takes you a moment, caught off guard by him skipping over pleasantries and cutting right to the chase, despite your best intentions; itâs not that heâs ever been any different in his interactions with you.
âI came by because I, um, owe you an apology, for my behavior at your workplace and for, you knowâŚ,â you trail off, gesturing at the door.
âBarfing up the place!â comes a shout from inside the apartment.Â
Loganâs eyes close with a sigh, before he steps into the hallway with you and closes the door with a bang.Â
âThat,â you finish sheepishly. âIâm really sorry.â
He nods in acknowledgement.
âI also wanted to ask, um, if you want to come with me to get a coffee. To make it up to you.â
Logan just looks at you, the leather of his jacket creaking as he crosses his thick arms in front of his chest. He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly. You hate how he somehow can see right through you, how he makes you elaborate, and honest.
âI want to quit drinking,â you say, fiddling with the sleeve of your coat. âIt doesnât make me better, and when I donât do it I finally feel a little⌠normal. Maybe coffeeâs technically just as bad, but itâs the only thing thatâs currently acting like⌠like a reverse gateway drink? And I feel like youâre the only person I know that might get that feeling ofââ
âI do,â Logan cuts in, voice softer than before â assuring. His arms drop from where theyâre crossed and he starts making his way to the stairs. âLetâs go.â
â â â â â
You donât know this coffee place, and from the way he looks around and shifts around in a chair that might be a bit too small for him, neither does Logan. Main reason you picked it is because the booths remind you a little too much of a bar â and you like the tall windows. The coffeeâs pretty decent.
âDid they fire you?â you ask, picking at a loose corner of one of the laminated menus before setting it back in its holder.
âBoss commended me for helping a customer, but not so much for leaving before my shift ended,â Logan replies. âGot off with a warning.â
âIâm sorry.â
âSaid that already, and I accepted,â he says. When he takes a sip of the coffee, he winces. âNo need to worry about it anymore, okay? I would do it again.â
You nod, folding your hands around the warm cup in front of you.
âBut, um, Wade hasnât shut up about⌠the incident.â Thereâs a different tone to his voice, like heâs trying to lighten the mood. âHis words.â
âYou know, I kind of get the feeling that Wade doesnât shut up about a lot of things.â It comes out a little meaner than you intend, but it makes Logan laugh and finally slump back in his chair a little.Â
âYouâre a quick study.â
Offering him a short smile in return, you continue with the other real reason you came to see him, before you chicken out. âI also stopped by because I wanted to, uh⌠because I realized I never really⌠I never⌠I never thanked you, for um⌠Andââ
With a shake of his head, Logan sits upright. âYâdonâtââ
To your horror, your eyes brim with tears, âLogan, Iâm supposed to be deadââ
âSo am I,â he counters. He lets the words hang between the two of you for a moment, until you look at him, before he continues, âIâve been where you are. Past it, even.â
You donât know what to say to that, if the lump in your throat will even permit you to speak, but itâs impossible to look away from him. Loganâs gaze is piercing, frown ever present, but itâs not from anger. Instead, itâs like heâs searching for something, the right thing, to say. The silence doesnât bother you; if anything, it makes his words seem more genuine when he does speak,
âI had someone who was annoying enough to not give up on me when I could really use it. If getting a coffee with you thatâs, franklyâŚ,â he makes a face as he pauses, âa horrible excuse for a coffee, helps⌠I can do that. I want to do that.â
The corner of your mouth lifts as you blink away your tears. âWas it Wade?â
Logan lets out a chuckle, and itâs honest â fond. âYeah.â
âFigured,â you say. âHow did you meet him?â
Across from you, Logan stills. You swallow thickly, adjusting yourself in your chair. Itâs an innocent question, but maybe it isnât something heâd like to revisit right now. Loganâs mug squeaks when he grips it tighter, and he looks at you with something like defeatâÂ
It makes you deflate. This must be what you looked like the night you metâŚ
Thereâs no way to have prepared for what he tells you next: That he came from another timeline about three months ago, that he and Wade saved this one from being destroyed and almost got killed in the process, that he has nothing to go back to after the death of his team, so he stayed here.Â
Thereâs hesitation in it, like he isnât telling you the whole story, though you donât comment on it. He doesnât owe you anything and youâre too busy putting all the pieces in the Logan-shaped puzzle in your mind together; his words and actions towards you are starting to make more and more sense.
âItâs a very brave thing the two of you did,â you say when heâs finished.
âHmm, it was all Wade,â Logan muses. âHe did it all for the people he cares about.â
âIâm sure you would have done the same if you were in his place.â
At that, he lets out a dry laugh with absolutely no joy behind it. âDo me a favor, donât put me on a pedestal.â
You frown, but before you can comment, he stands. A knot forms in your stomach, worried youâve offended him, but he clears up the uncertainty immediately.
âI gotta go but um, Wadeâs friendsâ,â he stops himself, correcting, âour friends are coming over to watch a movie, next week, 7:30. I have no idea what crap theyâre going to be watching but⌠itâs nice. Itâll be nice to be around good people.â Logan doesnât wait for your answer, simply takes his wallet from his pocket and leaves enough money to cover the bill.
âWait, no, I invited you,â you protest. âI shouldââ
âYou can pay next time.âÂ
When you nod, he says his goodbyes with a jerk of his head and makes his way to the door.
â â â â â
You see Logan two more times for coffee that week. He never lets you pay.
THE PANTRY
ââbut itâs the best one!â Wade protests, DVD in hand.
âThey fly a car into space, Wade,â Laura sighs.
âLaunched off a jet,â he corrects. Like it helps.
You cover your mouth with the back of your hand, hiding the smile that appears at everyoneâs babbling. Unbeknownst to you, you had found yourself invited to a double feature night, with Wade as the self proclaimed DVDJ. The credits had barely started rolling on A Good Day To Die Hard, or Wade had another DVD at the ready. It was met with the same amount of enthusiasm as when he presented the first.
It hadnât been easy to make yourself go to this tonight. On your way, youâd thought of turning around at almost every step. Of course, that was all before you knew it would be this fun, and that youâd be relieved you hadnât canceled last minute. Even meeting everyone hadnât been as bad as you feared.Â
Thereâs Peter, Wadeâs friend. Ellie, another one of Wadeâs friends. Yukio, Ellieâs girlfriend. Laura, Loganâs daughter. Mary Puppins, Wadeâs small, disgusting but adorable dog, who had greeted you with equal amounts saliva and enthusiasm, before falling asleep next to the TV, completely unbothered by the commotion. Unlike Althea, Logan and Wadeâs blind roommate, who had taken one listen to the gaggle of voices and left. The elusive Vanessa, Wadeâs ex-but-we-might-get-back-together you heard about a couple times, wasnât there.
Logan had been right, it was nice to be surrounded by good people. Especially good people who were⌠unconventional. It made joining them less complicated, less performative, and as the evening progressed it made you a participant instead of a silent observer. Wade even called you, âgood for the group dynamic,â and it made you beam with pride.
âDonât they have like, rockets attached to the car?â Ellie questions, to which Yukioâs eyebrows knit together.
âExactly!â Wade exclaims, mistaking her confusion for enthusiasm. âCitizen Kane wishes.â
Thereâs more grumbling from everyone when Wade pops the DVD into the player, and he grumbles something back about how Logan would back him up if he wasnât in the bathroom because he, quote unquote, goes way back with some of these dudes.
Youâre pretty sure heâs the only one who knows what heâs even talking about.
An empty bowl of popcorn rests in your lap, and as you put it on the table, you notice how sticky and greasy your fingers and palms are. When the opening credits begin to roll, you get up to wash your hands, assuring Wade he doesnât need to pause the movie before you go.
The apartmentâs small, so it isnât far to the kitchen, but itâs nice to stretch your legs. You can still hear the sounds from movie night; tell-tale action movie music, comments of disbelief and Wade shutting them down. Theyâre more faint, though, more so when you turn the tap on and wash your hands.
Right as youâre finished, you hear a dull thud. You turn the water off, head tilted and at attention while you dry your hands. Thereâs another sound, like a muffled groan. Itâs coming from the pantry, you realize, noting that the door is slightly ajar. Thereâs a shing! sound followed by a distressed grunt, and before you know it youâre walking over, wrapping your fingers around the door to pull it openâ
Youâre not sure what it was you were expecting, but it wasnât this. Loganâs sitting on the floor, uncharacteristically small, curled up against one of the walls. His chest is heaving, shoulders all but going up to his ears with how heâs trying to draw in breaths. Next to him, his fist is balled against the hardwood, claws buried in the floor.
Fuck.
Dropping to your knees, you wedge yourself between his. âItâs okay, youâre having a panic attack,â you explain, your hands landing on his shoulders with a light shake. âYou need to breathe. Iâll help you, just look at me.â
Loganâs head stays tipped down, a deep, rattling breath sailing from his mouth as he curls further in on himself.
âHey!â you say sharply, cupping his jaw with two hands and tilting his face up, âLook at me.âÂ
Loganâs eyes are wet when they meet yours, moving frantically as they search your face, tears spilling over when he blinks. Something changes in his gaze, like he finally sees itâs you, and his bottom lip begins to tremble. His hand lifts from where itâs buried in the floor, clutching onto your wrist like a lifeline.
âBreathe,â you instruct, trying not to flinch at the sharp claws in front of you. He doesnât catch on immediately, so you overdo the purse of your lips when you blow out a breath before exaggerating an inhale through your nose, showing him what to do. It starts off shaky, a fresh set of tears falling from Loganâs eyes as he does as you instruct, but after a couple of times you find a rhythm together. The silver between his knuckles slowly disappears. âThere you go, good job. Keep going.â
You sit like that, until the wild shift of his eyes stops, his pulse steadies beneath your fingertips, and eventually his eyes close with a deep exhale. His grip on you loosens and you take it as your cue to let go of him, slumping back against the wall opposite him with a sigh of relief. The both of you catch your breath, sitting together in silence until Logan breaks it.
âCame outta nowhere⌠suddenly I was back there⌠letting them down.â
âIt caught you off guard, it happensââ
âI let them get killed,â he says, voice raw. âThey were likeâ They were my family, they trusted me to be there for them and I⌠I was too caught up in my own bullshit. I should have been with them, I should be dead with them.â
Loganâs tears still come, but the words almost sound reverent; as if saying them out loud just to punish himself with his own shortcomings is a balm. Heâs talking about his team from there, you realize, and something clicks. All this time, you thought this was about him being unable to die due to his mutation, but itâs more than that. Itâs shame, remorse, grief, survivorâs guilt, all wrapped into one.
Itâs the final piece of your mind puzzle that makes his picture appear.
âHowâ How can I ever atone for that?â he asks. âHow can I everââ
âLogan, you can't change your past,â you interrupt carefully. âYou made your choices and they made theirs, and you honored them byâ byâŚstepping up to the task, by doing what you did with Wade.â
âWhat if it wasnât enough?â
âWhat if it was?â you counter. Your hand finds his knee with a squeeze, before adding, âYou did what they would have done. And now you⌠you need to allow yourself to honor their memory without feeling like you have to destroy yourself to do it. You deserve that.â
Logan blinks at you, eyes still glossy. He looks devastated yet calmer than before, like the emotion is still there, but displaced. For a good while, you sit with him like that while his sniffles lessen and his breathing returns to normal⌠until thereâs a loud explosion coming from the living room. Itâs followed by cheers and hollers, and youâre both suddenly reminded of where you are.Â
âCâmon,â you say, patting Loganâs knee before using it as leverage to haul yourself up with a groan. You give him room by holding the door open for him. âBetter get back before we miss the good stuff.â
Still on the floor, Logan exhales heavily. âThink this was the good stuff.â
â â â â â
Three weeks later, on your way to your third movie night, you catch Wade and Vanessa making out in the building hallway.Â
It stops you dead in your tracks and makes for an awkward meeting with Wadeâs mystery woman, who is beautiful but very direct when she asks you what the fuck youâre staring at. Wade certainly has a type when it comes to the company he keeps⌠He quickly shushes the situation, introducing the two of you, and it immediately makes Vanessaâs expression twist into recognition.Â
âNice to meet you,â she says, followed by an apologetic smile.Â
You respond in kind.Â
When Wade tugs at her jacket impatiently, they brush past you and make their way to the exit. âSee you around!â she throws over her shoulder.
A grin forms on your lips, realizing what you just witnessed, and you race up the stairs. With Wade gone, youâre not sure if there will be a movie, but at least you have gossip to share with your friends.
THE MEETING
April flies by, rolls into May, and thingâs are⌠okay.
With some help, you find a therapist. Itâs good, sheâs good, but itâs difficult to be confronted with things that are painful, week after week, and to keep reminding yourself itâs all part of the process youâre going through.
Last week, after a particularly difficult session, youâd left her office being auto-piloted by dark feelings, like they knew exactly when to strike. You had turned corners and crossed streets, wandering as you stewed on everything youâd discussed â like your mind was playing a constant loop of your most painful moments. It was a small miracle you had heard your phone, and that you had the presence of mind to thumb the green button.
Youâd answered without saying a word.
âGot any plans?â Logan had asked on the other side of the line.
âNo,â youâd replied, coming back to yourself a little bit at the sound of his voice.
âAlâs making her meatballs â she and Wade canât agree on if theyâre famous or infamous. Thought you might like to come. If it tastes like shit, weâll order in.â
Youâd hummed, managing to ask, âWhat time?â
It had stayed quiet on the other end, and thatâs how youâd known he was onto you, could picture the pinch of his brows, his lips forming a thin line. For the first time, you welcomed itâwanted so badly to reach through the phone, shake his shoulders, ask for his help and accept it, like he had done with you weeks ago.Â
âSounds to me like now might be good.â
âYeah,â you had agreed, the constricting tightness in your chest easing up. âYeah, Iâll be there soon.â Youâd released a shuddering breath, ear still pressed to the phone as you took in your surroundings before you auto-piloted yourself to a different destination.Â
âLogan?â
âStill here.â
âThank you for calling.â
ââcourse. Get here soon, Iâll stay on the phone.â
The afternoon had ended with Logan and yourself allowing Althea to boss you around in the small apartmentâs kitchen, rolling meatballs, sharing stories â Altheaâs recollection of something that happened to her in her 20s that involved her stealing a police horse while wearing nothing but a thong, made you cry from laughing.
The meatballs were the best you ever had, though you couldnât be sure if they actually were, or if it was just the taste of the moment that was better than anything had been that day.Â
Sometime after dinner, Logan had nudged your shoulder to show you a little plastic chip. He flashed it at you long enough that you could read the words one month, before he pocketed it again. Then he suggested you come with him next week.Â
âI thought it was bullshit too, but it helps,â heâd explained. âFigured I couldnât continue to drink whatever that stuff is you call coffee to⌠avoid my problems.â
You contemplated his suggestion. Things were going well for you in that regard, but your therapist had also recommended you go to one of these things, even if it was just for the community aspect of it. It just made it so⌠official. Your problems, but most of all, your recovery. You werenât good at keeping promises to yourself, and this felt like a big commitment. Not to mention the speeches and other peopleâs problems...
But as Logan told you more about it, the location, how it had been for him, you sensed something else between the lines: He wasnât just asking for you, he was also asking for himself. Maybe⌠this was his way of telling you he needed some support.Â
Thatâs how you find yourself inside a high school gymnasium a week later. Itâs as gloomy as you expected. Slick floors, gray fold-out chairs set in neat rows, buzzing lights in a high ceiling, and a slightly raised podium with a whiteboard that reads a welcome message in capital letters.Â
Unsure of what to do, you follow Logan as he weaves through the crowd to find a seat. As you do, it strikes you that thereâs a pretty even distribution of people, with many genders, ages and lifestyles represented. Eventually you take a seat; not quite in the back, but definitely not in the front.Â
The whole thing goes by in a blur, but where you expected to be overwhelmed, you feel⌠connected. Here you are, surrounded by people with different backgrounds, different lives, but all their stories have something you can relate to. Where you thought addiction was the common denominator, itâs actually the desire to turn your lives around that unites you the most.
âBefore we end the night I want to circle back to last week, when we spoke about goals, or things we want to work towards,â says the woman leading the meeting â youâre ashamed to admit you already forgot her name. âDoes anyone want to share something about that?â
It takes a lot to hide your surprise when Logan raises his hand.Â
âLogan! Come on up!â She sounds as surprised as you feel, beckoning him to her.
The plastic chair he sits on creaks when he stands and his boots squeak against the shiny floor as he does as she asks. He looks so out of place on a podium; both larger than life behind the lectern and lost to the space of the stage. He clears his throat as he retrieves a paper from his pocket and unfolds it while his eyes scan the room until they land on yours. You give him a little nod of encouragement, and it kicks him into gear.
âNot good at this stuff, so Iâm going to keep it brief,â he starts.Â
It earns him a chuckle or two from the other attendees, and you can tell he doesnât expect it when he looks up from his paper. Your hands clasp together with nerves as you watch him divide his weight from one leg to another, before focussing his gaze back down.
âMy life has changed a lot over the past few months. For the first time in a long time, itâs not all bad. Coming here has been good. Iâm starting to feel more like I did beforeââÂ
He stops his monotonous droning with a frustrated sigh, stuffing the piece of paper in his pocket and sounding considerably more lively after.Â
âI have people I care about again, and um, it scares me. âCause I donât want to let them down, and every day I feel like I will because of all of my⌠past shit.â He pauses and swallows hard before he continues, âThey show me so much kindness and understanding, that⌠that even though itâs fucking hard, I want to be able to see myself the way they see me. And allow them to care about me without feeling like I⌠have to earn it all the time, without destroying myself to do it.âÂ
You exhale for what feels like the first time in an eternity.
âSo, thatâs what Iâm currently working on.â Logan sighs. âThatâs it. Thank you.â
A small applause follows, and you quickly unclasp your hands to join in.
Your palms hurt after.
â â â â â
âIt was really nice, what you said in there,â you say, fingers caressing a little plastic chip of your own that you keep safe in your coat pocket. You havenât felt proud of yourself in a while, but tonight you do.
The evening is nice, the setting sun bathing the city in hues of orange and pink. Your pace is slow and comfortable, your arm occasionally brushing Loganâs when you make room for all the other pedestrians. You didnât plan on him walking you home, but he insisted and you enjoy the company â it makes you a little sad when you turn onto your street.
Logan scoffs in reply.Â
âIâm being serious,â you say, knocking your elbow against his arm on purpose now. âIt was nice for people to hear a guy like you say those things. Iâm proud of you.â
You swear he blushes. âA guy like me, huh?â he asks, almost amused.
Itâs your turn to scoff. âYou know what I mean.âÂ
âA mutant?â He looks at you from the corner of his eye.
âNo,â you say, because itâs not what you meant, but the hint of seriousness in his voice and the fact heâs not entirely wrong make you track back. âWell, maybe that, too, but I meant someone who looks like you, allowing themselves to be vulnerable. Sets a nice example.â
Logan doesnât shoot your comments down like you expect. Instead, he seems to consider your words, maybe he even silently accepts the compliment. âThink you have some things to say that could set a nice example, too.â
âMaybe next time.â
During the comfortable silence that follows, youâre reminded of something youâve been considering for weeks now. You hadnât paid much attention to it since that night, but as you worked through the feelings that got you to that point, the question kept coming back.
âIâve been wondering something,â you begin. âThe night we met... What were you doing at the lookout?â
Logan glances at you, contemplating the question. âWhen I had just, um, gotten here, it wasnât always easy to adjust, you know? So I went to all these places that I knew from back there, to ground myself, to see that things may be different, but that theyâre not that different.â
âYou went there on your side?â
He hums.
âBy yourself?â
He hums again.
âDid youâŚâ You hesitate to finish your sentence, both because youâre not sure if you have any right to ask and because youâve reached your building. You stop walking, and Logan follows your lead.Â
âNo, no, no, I⌠I canât explain it, itâs just one of those places I was always drawn to,â Logan says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans with a shrug. His brows furrow suddenly, his mind seemingly lost in something before his eyes flick back to yours. âThink it took me coming over here to find reason in it.â
Itâs a thought thatâs equal parts sad and lovely.Â
The silence that follows hangs between you, thick with something you canât place, but Logan doesnât look away from you, eyes scanning your face before they land back on yours. You canât help thinking that maybe this is how he does it, and the question comes out before you can help it,
âIs mind reading part of the X-Gene thing?â
His eyes widen â amusement or surprise, you canât say. âIt can be.âÂ
âCan you do it?â
âNo,â he says. âAnd itâs for the best, fucking hurts when you canât control it.â Then the start of a smile begins to form on his lips. ââsides, I donât know if I would have a lot of⌠consideration for peopleâs boundaries.â
It makes you chuckle. âRight. Not to mention some minds are probably a lot â imagine reading Wadeâs mind.â
âHurts to even imagine,â Logan says, gesturing for you to be quiet as he winces, but a smile breaks through anyway. When your shared laughter dies down, he jerks his chin at the building behind you, âThis your place?â
âWhaâ?â Going home long forgotten in the moment, you glance over your shoulder. âOh! Yes.â
âAll right,â he nods. âSee you next week?â
âDefinitely,â you reply.
âOh,â Logan says right before you turn around. âBring coffee? You owe me.â
You make a face at him. âYou donât have toâ Iâll get you something else, I know you donât like it.â
âI like it when I drink it with you.â
Itâs incredibly hard to hide your grin. âOkay, Iâll bring coffee. See you next week, Logan.â
âSee you.âÂ
He lingers, watching you climb the steps, waiting until the door opens after you turn your key in the lock. Itâs not until you close the door, when you can only make out his silhouette through the patterned glass window in it, that he walks off.
THE SUMMER
Walking back from a very successful job interview, you find yourself on your way to your friends with a big, plastic bottle of coke under your arm. Itâs a warm feeling to know that youâll soon have a job that suits you and that you have people to celebrate with; you look forward to seeing them and sharing this with them.
Youâre invited inside with open arms, tight hugs, exclaimed praise and congratulations, and it makes you giddy, a feeling so foreign that you wish you could bottle it up right this instant. With a grin, you shake the Coca Cola bottle, before twisting the cap off. You let out an excited shout as you watch the foam shoot out from the top, bubbles and dark liquid pulsing down the neck of the bottle as cheers surround you.
Itâs not champagne, but Althea grumbles about the soda ruining her floors, Wade gets mismatched glasses from the cupboard, and Logan clinks his glass to yours and tells you heâs proud of you.
Itâs way better than champagne.
â â â â â
Youâre in serious, desperate need of a new placeâŚÂ
The August heat is relentless, and the entire buildingâs AC isnât working. Itâs with considerable effort that you manage to make your way to your friendsâ place, the promise of a constant, cold stream of wind the only thing that keeps you going. But when the front door opens, it isnât with the welcoming, cool waft of air you were hoping for. Instead, thereâs no temperature change, only Wade in his underwear.
âNo.â Itâs a little embarrassing how you literally pout, but these are desperate times. âHere, too?â
âIf it wasnât this fucking hot Iâd be offended by that greeting.â He sighs. âCome in.â
Slightly defeated, you shuffle past the threshold, while Wade lingers. Mary Puppins trots by, an ice-pack wrapped in a towel secured on her back, and you catch a glimpse of Logan exiting the bedroom. Heâs in black shorts and a ribbed, sleeveless shirt, and with a desperate groan, he lets himself fall back into the recliner in the living room.Â
âTried everything, thereâs no fixing that fucking thing.â
Wade makes a face, âListen, I know what youâre thinking: Wadeâs in his underwear, Loganâs emerging from the bedroom⌠But we didnât fuck, itâs not that kind of stââ
âWho are you talking to?â you ask from behind him, glancing over his shoulder into the empty hallway.
âNo oneâYou!â The door closes with a bang.
Confused, you walk further into the apartment. âWell, telling me you didnât is just going to make me think that you did.â Wade darts past you and takes a seat on the couch, but you hang back and lean against the kitchen table to avoid sitting on leather.
Wade suddenly turns to face you. âDid I ever tell you about our time in The Void?â
âWade,â Logan warns.
Wadeâs eyes are sparkling with mischief and you canât deny how fun it is to indulge the way he pushes Loganâs buttons. Itâs a good distraction from how youâre drenched in sweat. And youâre actually curious.
You play your part, letting out a faux-scandalised gasp. âDid you..?â
âOh, yeah, baby. Wolverine goes both ways. All the ways, really.â He grins. âWeâre so alike.â
âShut up. Both of you.â Logan groans, lacking any real threat as he adjusts in his seat and wipes some sweat off his brow. âItâs too fucking hot to be annoyed.â
It isnât lost on you he doesnât deny a thing.
â â â â â
Apartments look weird with nothing in them.
Itâs what crossed your mind after you finished packing up your place three days ago, and it crosses your mind now as you look into the open space of your new one from the doorway. Itâs a pleasant, late summer day; perfect weather to move, which was on your schedule for today.
âIncoming!â comes from behind you, followed by quick, heavy steps.
You jump aside as Ellie sails through the door, carefully setting a big box marked âKitchenâ down in its designated area, followed by Logan who is balancing three boxes at once. After a beat, Yukio follows, holding a single table lamp in her hand. It takes some effort not to laugh, not just because of how funny it looks, but also because you relate; after all the exhausting late nights you pulled packing up, thatâs also the kind of energy youâre bringing to this.
Itâs nice of them to help, and instead of shoving that feeling away in fear, you allow yourself to bask in it. You donât get long, however, because more help has just arrived.
Wade. With Vanessa. Hands interlocked.
It draws everyoneâs eyes to the doorway. Wade looks almost bashful, and it baffles you how someone who can say the most insane things unprompted, all without batting an eye, could blush while holding hands with a girl he likes. To his credit, he shakes it off quickly.
âAll right, all right,â he says. âStop ogling me and my girlfriend and get back to work everyone!â
â â â â â
âSo it was like an experiment?â you ask, stirring the pot on your stove before taking a careful bite of food off your wooden spoon.
Tonightâs your first night hosting at your new place â Family Dinner, Wade had dubbed it. With fall setting in, you had an idea of what to make, but it still made you nervous to have everyone in your space. Logan saw right through you, offering to come over early to help you prepare.Â
Once he had arrived, it hadnât taken long for him to admit he wasnât much of a cook, so he mainly chopped vegetables as you chatted; you about your new place, Logan about his new job as a boxing instructor, Laura going off to college. You donât remember exactly how the subject of his adamantium came up, but he was telling you freely about it.
âThey needed someone who could regenerate fast enough to bond with it,â he explains. âI was in a dark place. Figured I didnât have anything to lose if it didnât work.â
You nod in understanding. âDo you⌠remember much about it?â You put your spoon down, then put the lid back on the pan.Â
Loganâs knife stops hitting the cutting board. âYeah, I⌠I remember every second of it.â
You look at him then. His eyes are still cast down at his task. Unsure of what to say, you think about what youâd want to hear, and you find it might be best to say nothing at all. Instead, your hand finds his shoulder. Loganâs head turns to you, and you feel like the look you share is more important than anything you couldâve told him. His hand covers yours with an appreciative squeeze.Â
âBut Iâm trying to leave that there so I can focus on remembering what happens to me here.â As soon as heâs said it, his hand quickly slips off yours, adding, in a rush, âHere in this timeline, I mean.âÂ
You smile at him, but a strange feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. âThat sounds like a great idea.â
â â â â â
âI need your help with something,â you say, balancing your phone between your ear and your shoulder while you turn a birthday card over in your hand. Deciding you donât like it, you throw it back on the pile of cards and continue your grocery shopping.
âJust say the word,â comes Loganâs reply from the other end.
âI need you to steal something out of the apartment for me.â Thereâs a silence, and you purposely let the feeling of trepidation linger.
âAm gonna need you to say a little more than just that.â
You laugh, âWadeâs been talking about getting a little frame for his polaroid. You know, the polaroid that you held on to for him in The Void, after the two of you fuââ
âYes, I know the one,â he interjects with a huff. He pauses, sighs, then says, âConsider it done.â
THE PARTY
âThere you are!â Wade shouts after he opens the door. He pulls you into a hug that you return with a wide smile. Over his shoulder, you see that the apartmentâs crowded, bustling with people who are there for his birthday party.
âI got you something,â you say, offering the small package to him after you step inside and hang up your coat.
âWouldnât have let you in if you hadnât,â he admits as he closes the door behind you with a bang. Wade takes the package from your hand, shaking it next to his ear but hearing it make no sound in response. âIs it a cock ring?â
You canât help but laugh at that. âUnfortunately, they were all sold out.â
âThey always are,â he says, making a disappointed face. Bottom lip tucked between your teeth, you watch as he tears at the wrapping paper to reveal his gift. He makes another face when he sees it. âWell, now I feel like an asshole. This is really nice.â
âLogan helped me kidnap it,â you explain, pointing at the picture. âAnd the little red hearts on the frame, well, theyâre your color, but they also reminded me of how much you care about people.â
When he looks at you after, itâs with genuine emotion⌠but Wade is Wade. âNever thought Iâd say this, but Iâm kind of happy you walked in here barfing up the place.â
A strange mix of embarrassment and gratitude claws its way up your neck. âThank you.â
âWe should take a new one,â he decides suddenly, pointing at the picture. âYou both should be in it.â His head turns, watching as Logan approaches the two of you. âBut letâs be realistic, his shoulders are so broad he wouldnât even fit in the frame, much less his bulââ
âStop talking about my dick, Wade,â Logan snaps.
âI was saying only good things! Jeez, so sensitiveâŚâ Wade turns, putting the picture on the kitchen table behind him where it joins all the other gifts.
âDid he like it?â Logan asks, voice low.
âYeah,â you smile.
âGood,â he replies. âWas a nice idea.â
You eye all the other gifts, some clearer who they are from than others. âWhat did you get him?â
The corner of Loganâs mouth lifts as he points at a roll of silver duct tape with a small red bow on top, making you fix them both with a confused look.
âItâs an inside joke,â Logan shrugs.
Wadeâs eyes sparkle, but in a rare turn of events, he doesnât elaborate, only adds, âItâs classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.âÂ
âAnd I have top level clearance, lieutenant,â you reply. You exhale through your nose in an amused laugh when Wade makes a surprised face that indicates youâve gotten the reference. âWhat, you thought a Tom Cruise impression could save you?â
âNo,â he grins, and as if on cue, the doorbell rings, âbut that can. Birthday Boy duty calls, but I want it on record that I could do Top Gun, easily, while Tom would never be able to pull off Deadpool.â
â â â â â
The party settles into something comfortable, soft music in the background of lively chatter. Yukio has just finished telling you about a Professor Layton cosplay sheâs doing when you excuse yourself, both your glass and your social battery empty enough to look for a momentary out. Finding your way through the crowd, you make it to the kitchen, filling your glass with water and taking a few sips.Â
While you do, the music suddenly gets louder, taking over for the steady chatter. You turn around, leaning back against the kitchen counter, and watch as Wade drags Vanessa to the middle of the apartment. People make room for them, exchanging looks while Wade wraps his arm around her waist, takes her hand in his and begins dancing with her. With a laugh, she slaps him on the chest, before settling into his embrace anyway. Some follow their lead, but your eyes stay glued to them. Wade spins Vanessa under his arm, the smile on her face bright enough to light up the entire room. In return, he looks at her with so much adoration heâs almost glowing himself. It fills you with warmth to see the both of them so happy.
It hits you how you havenât thought about this in a while. Youâd decided long ago that the future wasnât something you had to worry about, but suddenly youâve arrived, like youâre in some alternate reality where your future is now, and that it would be nice to share it with someone. The sting behind your eyes catches you a little off guard; mixed feelings of time that has been taken from you, but also of time youâre getting back with the life you now have.
For a while now, youâve suspected the thing inside you is gone, that there isnât much to feed off of anymore. If it is, it would make sense that thereâs room for something else.
Wade and Vanessa make it look easy, even though you know itâs been far from easy for them. You suppose thatâs what itâs like, especially as you get older. Itâs less about big gestures, more about small ones; someone to make you laugh, to spin you under their arm, who knows how to apologize, seeks you out during your quiet momentsâ
âDo you dance?â
You startle, head turning towards the voice next to youâÂ
âLogan,â you breathe.Â
Itâs like youâre seeing him for the very first time. Heâs standing so close, almost touching you but not quite, heat radiating off of him nonetheless. The plaid shirt heâs wearing isnât even buttoned and still the fabric is pulled taunt over his shoulders and the thick of his biceps. Heâs grinning, his nose pulled up in an adorable scrunch, the corner of his eyes crinkling - you never noticed before, but thereâs a hint of green between the hazel.
It hits you so suddenly that you have to grab the counter to keep your balance. Everything thatâs been happening, that youâve been feeling, all the times something happened between the two of you that you couldnât put your finger on⌠it falls into place with a well-timed, completely unrelated question and a glance at him.
You like him.
All you can do is blink at him, dazed, unable to speak, even more so when he leans in a little closer, mistaking your silence for misunderstanding. âI mean, not that Iâ You and Wade were doing a bit earlier, itâs a reference toââ Logan straightens suddenly, his expression slipping into concern as he watches you, âAre you okay?â
You feel warm, so aware of all his attention on you that youâre afraid he might be able to see your pulse blink rapidly below the angle of your jaw. âYeah,â you reply, voice hoarse, looking away from him to blink the leftover wetness from earlier out of your eyes.Â
Anxiety claws its way into your chest, your mind coming to terms with what itâs puzzled together at such a sickening pace that thereâs an immediate knot in your stomach. The party has instantly lost its shine, and you look down at the glass in your hand, gulping down its contents. You need to be alone with your thoughts, you need to think about this beforeâ
âI gotta go,â you say in such a rush that it almost sounds like one word while you set your glass on the kitchen counter.
Loganâs eyes follow you as you push past him, grab your coat and reach for the doorknob. âWaitââ
âBye, Logan.â
THE TABLE
Once at home, you change into something more comfortable, your mind racing while you peel your party clothes off, toss your bra aside, change into an oversized shirt and plop down on the couch after.
Despite having already established that your mind was occupied with other things for a very long time, itâs laughable in hindsight that you never noticed your feelings before. Itâs not like you donât know what Loganâs like; heâs kind, funny, supportiveâŚ
âŚbroad, handsome.
Shit.
Why did you have to come to your senses? Things were better before that moment. Loganâs your friend, whom you met in the most unconventional way possible. Itâs ridiculous to want more than what you have when what you have is good. Or to think that he would want more.
But he might.
Because you may have been occupied with depression, anxiety, recovery, and everything in between, but you were there; you remember the time you spent with him, the way he looks at you, drinks the coffee you like, laughs at your jokes, seems to know exactly when to call you, seeks you out in a crowd.
But it would change everythâÂ
Actually, not a whole lot would change, if you really think about it. You already see him all the time, youâve seen the very worst of each other, overcome a great deal of hardship together, you make each other better, his friends are yourâŚÂ
friends.Â
You didnât say goodbye to Wade.
The thought comes suddenly. It was his birthday party and you didnât even say goodbye to him before you left. Youâre a terrible friend. Dread sinks into your limbs, and you reach for your phone to type out a quick, apologetic message. Just as you hit send, thereâs a series of loud knocks on the door, and it makes you freeze up where youâre seated.
âAre you in there?â a muffled voice calls out.
Itâs Logan, you realize, and a plethora of fake excuses as to why you left the party early present themselves to your mind as you quickly make your way over to the door.
The first thing you notice when you open it is that heâs dripping wet from the rain, clothes soaked through and his hair flat. Thereâs a deep furrow in his brow, and itâs different from how he usually looks; he looks actually mad.
âLogan, is everythingââ you begin, concerned, but he cuts you off by pushing past you and letting himself inside, boots stomping against the wooden floor.Â
âJesus, here you are. Whyâd you leave like that, huh? Saying goodbye, your eyes all wet. I went after you and you were fucking gone, it scared the shit out of me. Didnât see the car at the lookout, but I went to look for you anyway, and you werenât in the water, thank fuckââ
âWait, you wentââ you pause, the mental image of Logan running out into the rain to the cliffside making your eyes widen. âDid you think..?â
âYeah,â he sighs, shoulders slumping.
âShit.â Your heart is racing when you step closer to him. âNo, I wasnât⌠I donât want that anymore.â
âThen what the fuck was that all about?â
The desperation and misunderstanding in his eyes is unmistakable, and you hate that you made him feel like that. âI was just⌠I needed a moment, after seeing Wade and Vanessa like that,â you say, trying to provide yourself with more time to think, unsure if you already want to broach the subject of why you really left.
âYou⌠like Wade?â Logan asks, his frown deepening.
You canât help the laugh that escapes you at the unexpected question. âNo. I mean, I adore Wade, but not like that. Heâs with Vanessa.â
The answer does nothing to change his expression. âAnd you want it to be different?â
His line of questioning confuses you. âIâ No. Logan, this isnât about Wade or Vanessa, but itâs about⌠what they have. Something thatâs real, but imperfect, and thatâs what actually makes it perfect, and I just⌠I was in a really bad place for such a long time, I didnât give myself time to even think about⌠I havenât felt myself wanting for so long,â your gaze flicks up to his. âSeeing them just made me realize thereâs so much left that I still want.âÂ
Internally, you curse the way he always makes you say too much, because you can see the understanding wash over his features. His expression softens, the balled fists by his side loosen, and his eyes search you, as if to see if that thing you want is him. Thereâs no doubt he finds his answer; youâre ever the open book when it comes to him, and your pulse quickens while he silently observes you.Â
Logan reaches for you so quickly that you can barely prepare for it, a hand on your waist to pull you in, another on your cheek to tip your face up and guide your mouth to his. A shaky breath sails out through your nose when your lips meet, your eyes fluttering shut and your palms sliding up his damp but warm chest to curl in the soaked fabric of his shirt. Itâs eager, and the angle is off, but itâs quickly adjusted with a brief parting and a near in-sync tilt of your heads in the other direction.Â
Logan pulls away, but stays close, and you almost feel his words before hearing them, âBeen⌠thinking about doing that.â
âReally?â you say, breathless and amused. âWhen did you, um, start wanting to do that?â
âFew weeks agoâFuck, no, more than that. Almost did, that day after your first meeting, after you told me you were proud of me,â he admits. âBut I wanted to give you time, space. Wasnât sure if you feltââ
âI do. Didnât realize it before, but I fucking do,â you assure him, another tug on his collar trying to pull him back to you. His admissions, knowing he wants you too, only make you want him more, like you have to make up for all the time you wasted not doing this sooner.
Loganâs hand on your waist holds you off. âI just donât know how to⌠how to be this,â he confesses softly.
âThatâs okay,â you say, your nose brushing against his. âI donât either.â
He inches forward like he intends to kiss you again, but seems to reconsider, swallowing hard before saying, âWouldnât be the first time we figure it out together, huh?â
The words make you surge forward to close the gap between you, your brows creasing, attempting to convey everything you feel with one press of your lips to his. Loganâs hand slides from your cheek to the back of your head, pulling you to him in a way that seems to mirror your efforts. Something lights up inside you, something you lost long ago, and it makes you bold, opening your mouth under his to get a taste of him.Â
His grip on you tightens with a groan, spurring him into action and walking you backwards into the dark kitchen, the only illumination the slivers of moonlight that come through the kitchen window. You jolt when the back of your thighs hit the table, before youâre scrambling to get on top of it, two hands at your waist helping to hoist you up. Your thighs widen to make room for Loganâs while you push the green flannel shirt off his shoulders, struggling to peel it off his arms to the point you have to break away with a laugh to really get it right. It lands on the floor with a wet sound, before he reaches for the back of his shirt, curling his fingers around the collar and pulling it over his head.
Loganâs sturdy, warm to the touch and surprisingly pliant when you canât help but let your fingers flit along the corded muscles and protruding veins while he toes off his shoes. His hand flies to the back of your head to fist the hair at the nape of your neck when your lips explore, find his jaw, and travel down his neck. A soft sound sails from his mouth, a barely audible moan that carries over into something deeper when your lips brush a spot just above his clavicle. Using the grip he has on you, he drags you back up to his mouth, doing some more of his own exploring when his warm tongue strokes against your own.Â
âYouâre so good to me,â he murmurs with a buck of his hips against yours. The thrill of having him pushed up against you, half-hard, warm, full of promise, makes you moan, teeth clacking against his when you do. âAlways so fucking good to me.â
It makes you want to protest, from the very moment you met, heâs the one always being that to you, but it dies on your tongue when Loganâs flicks over the tips of his fingers. His impatient hand finds its way between you, disappearing under the waistband of your underwear and stretching the material to make room. His name comes out as a whimper when his spit-slick fingers easily glide through the soft skin between your legs. He curses, another buck of his hips pressing his hand closer against you, and your kiss turns messy and uncoordinated when he dips one finger to touch your clit.Â
âThis okay?â Logan asks when you gasp, drawing languid circles between your legs.
âYeah, itâs justâ Oh, god.â Two thick fingers find your entrance, swirling the wetness there around. âBeen a while,â you manage to finish your sentence.
âIâll make it good for you,â he promises. âYou want that?â
All you can do is nod, and Logan presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth before he pulls his hand back. Itâs paired with a wet sound that makes your cheeks heat, more so when you watch him get on his knees and yank you to the edge of the table, the quick turn of events and the casual display of his strength making you a little dizzy. Loganâs nose presses into the fabric between your legs with a sharp inhale, before quick, practiced moves work your underwear down your legs. One eager hand places a thigh on his shoulder as another holds you at the bend of your knee. You lie back, arching as you hurriedly pull your t-shirt over your head, leaning up on your elbows just in time to watch him bend down.Â
The feeling of Loganâs hot breath sailing out over your sensitive skin alone is enough to make you gasp. He drags his lips and nose across your folds, easing you into it as much as his lack of patience will allow before tasting you with a swipe of his tongue. It isnât tentative or testing, but firm and sure, and clearly for his enjoyment as much as yours when he repeats his action and groans into you. The vibrations of it and the gentle scratch of his facial hair only add to the liquid feeling in the pit of your stomach. Letting go of your knee, he curls a strong arm around your thigh, spreading you open then pulling you flush against him while he sucks your clit into his mouth.
âOh, that feels really good,â you spur him on, your heel digging in between his shoulder blades. You watch him with hooded eyes, shifting your weight to one elbow so you can cup your breast with a whine.Â
Loganâs eyes slip shut in focus, working his tongue up and down your clit and making you arch into his mouth. Reaching for you blindly, he slides a hand over yours on your chest, fingers fitting between your own and squeezing while his tongue slides lower to lick over where youâre dripping for him. He lets out an appreciative hum as he repeats the move until your thighs clench and shake around his ears. His tongue dips inside you, curling up against the slick walls of your cunt, and his name tumbles from your mouth, soft, pleading, making his eyes shoot open to meet yours.
The sight of him looking up at you like that from between your thighs, with dark eyes, the tip of his nose glistening with your wetness, will probably haunt you for the rest of your life.Â
Logan shushes your begging, pulling away and watching as your pussy clenches at the sudden lack of attention. âLet me give you something to come on,â he murmurs, before fitting a finger at your entrance. It meets absolutely no resistance, a second finger sliding inside with just as much ease, and he sets a steady, deep rhythm before his mouth returns to your clit.
âOh, fuck, fuck, fuckââ Your head rolls back between your shoulder blades, mouth open on a silent gasp, but he draws your attention back to him with a curl of his fingers, finding a spot that makes you go rigid for a second. It all builds so fast, so suddenly. The hand on your chest shakes Loganâs off, finding the crown of his head and sliding your fingers into his hair. Heâs too strong to really make purchase, but you try anyway, using your grip to roll your hips against him. The sound of his groans, every flick of his tongue and every squelching, delicious curl of his fingers all send you closer and closer, until his hand presses down on your belly, andâŚ
âLogan,â you manage, voice sharp with a warning that comes too late when he makes you tumble over the edge.Â
Itâs so much after so long, the force of it making you fall back against the table, something between a gasp and a shout tearing from your throat. He holds you tighter, to keep you in place and guide the desperate roll of your hips against his face. Your orgasm quickly slips into something bordering on oversensitivity, and you let out a dry sob that makes you slap a hand over your mouth when Loganâs tongue travels a path from where his stilled fingers disappear inside you, up to your clit. He stays there, gentle, uncharacteristically patient as you slowly come to a twitching halt.Â
Heâs a blur when he comes back into your field of view after standing up, towering over you to watch as you come back down to earth. Becoming sharper with every heavy blink of your eyes, you notice the smile on his face is smug, that the hair surrounding it is a shade darker than the rest. You sigh softly when his fingers slip from you, the feeling of them sliding wetly over your clit making you tremble, but his touch doesnât leave you completely when he moves to stroke the outside of your thigh.
âHowâs that?â Logan dares to ask.
âHmm, no speaking yet,â you protest.
Reaching for him, you slide both of your arms up over his broad shoulders, wrists crossed in the nape of his neck to pull him in for another kiss. Itâs slow, and deep, the taste of yourself shared between the two of you as your tongue slides over his. The table protests with a creak when his hands land beside your head, more when his chest pushes down on yours and you wrap a leg around his waist to get him even closer. The hair scattered across his broad chest teases your nipples and the hard ridge of his cock strains against his jeans and presses up against your slick cunt. It makes your jaw go slack, stoking your desire and making you burn with the need to make him feel as good as he just made you feel.Â
With a push against his shoulders, you take him along as you sit upright again, accompanied by another creak of the table. Mouth still on his, you slide a hand down to cup him over his jeans, the weight of him against your wide open palm making you pulse. Logan grunts when your hand squeezes, and your mouth slides off his, kissing his jaw, sliding back down his neck. He cups your head, keeping you in place while watching your hand.
âFeels nice,â he husks, voice so deep it makes you want to push him aside and get on your knees for him, but then he asks, âAre you gonna let me fuck you?â
âGod, yeah,â you say with a nod, watching as the mark you just sucked into his neck disappears far too soon while you continue rubbing him over the denim. âWant you inside of me.â
âJesusâThen get it out,â he instructs, guiding your hand to his belt.Â
If you werenât so turned on you might wince at how eager you are, at how quickly you tug the buckle open and pull the leather free. Logan groans when it relieves some of the pressure, letting his forehead rest against yours. Together, you watch your hands make quick work of his zipper, your fist closing around his cock while your other hand works his pants down until he can kick it off and under the table.
He fits nicely in your palm, heavy and ready, sticky at the tip. With a purse of your lips, you let your spit trickle down in a straight line, and he hisses when it hits him. Your free hand flattens against his stomach, sliding down along the hard planes of his body and following the vein just below his belly button down, until it meets your other hand that loosely strokes up to the root of his cock. Logan arches into you when you stroke back up with a tighter grip, all but getting on his toes to chase your touch. Using both of your hands to get all of him, you twist your fists in opposite directions once, twice, before circling his tip with one thumb. Your other hand curls around the underside of him, dragging some of your spit down to his balls with the tips of your fingers.
âFâfuck,â Logan stutters when you play with him there, cupping him in your hand as well as you can and squeezing his shaft when it twitches in response. His eyes slip shut as his palms land on the outside of your thighs with a smack, fingertips digging into your soft skin.Â
It makes you jolt, then grin, giddy from the sharp sting and the power you have over his pleasure. âHowâs that?â you echo with a teasing lilt.
He does have the words to answer, albeit a little slurred, ââS good, sweetheart.â
The nickname tacked on at the end takes root in your chest, blooms bright and makes you ache. You translate your appreciation into tightening your strokes and spreading more of the precome that steadily leaks from his tip around.
âCâmere,â Logan says softly, taking over for you with one hand, giving himself a few strokes before pushing your thighs further apart and shuffling closer to line himself up with you.
Youâre so wet that the head of his cock is practically already slipping inside of you, but your hand clasps around his bicep when he really starts to breach you. After giving you a shallow little thrust, his hips draw back, before pushing a little further, gauging your reaction.
âJust like that,â you sigh, watching the careful slide of him in and out of you. âKeep going just like that.â
He gets you opened up like that, giving you a little more with each wind of his hips. Loganâs hand finds the back of your neck, his palm splaying out and keeping you close enough that youâre practically sharing air with each sigh and moan. Eventually, your knees have to draw up to his flanks in order for him to keep going and you wind a leg around his hip to close the final distance with a press of your heel into one of the firm cheeks of his ass. A long breath sails out from between your lips when you pulse around him, slowly adjusting to having all of him filling you up. You can tell he has to put considerable effort into letting you, wood groaning below you when he clutches onto the table.
âFuck, itâs a lot,â you say, and when he grins against your mouth you canât help but kiss him again â just a peck. The hand at the back of your neck squeezes in reassurance as he continues to let you lead, and itâs a small gesture, but it makes you feel warm all over. You melt into it his touch, your body relaxing as the pleasure of the stretch of him takes over. Â
âCan stay like this a little longer if you want,â he says, but the strain in his voice says something different.
âHmm, no, you can move.â Youâve barely said it, or his hips are drawing back, and it would have made you laugh if it didnât feel so fucking incredible. He almost slips from you completely, before sliding all the way back inside with a grunt. The table scrapes along the floor, and vaguely you register one of your chairs falling over in the process. When he repeats the action, the furniture squeaks again below you. âJust donât break my table.â
The sound he makes in response is non-commital, and when he fucks back into you and nudges against something wonderful, you canât say you disagree. Grabbing hold of his shoulder and using the leg you have wrapped around him, you roll your hips against his, and he begins to meet you halfway until you work up a rhythm together. The table protest further, a shrill sound filling the room after each slap of skinâ
With a frustrated groan and accompanied by a startled squeal from yourself, Logan lifts you. The surprised laugh that threatens to bubble up your throat quickly morphs into something heavier that comes out with a rasp when he makes it all look unusually effortless. Attempting to brace yourself, you sling one arm over his shoulders, the other winding around his neck so you can rake your fingers through the hair at the back of his head. Itâs a struggle to keep your balance, a helpless heel digging into the back of his thigh to keep yourself upright. Quick to aid, Logan slides an arm under you, fingers splayed across your ass as your knee hangs off the inside of his elbow. He turns a quarter, presses you up against the wall, and doesnât miss a beat as he continues fucking you.Â
âJesus, Logan,â you say, voice almost a growl and barely recognizable as your own.
With your new position, you can see him better, the both of you lit from the side with the window to your left. The moonlight paints him in a tapestry of light and shadows when the wind blows through the tree branches, momentarily amplifying the glint in his eyes and the flex of his chest and arms like a strobe light.
The different angle he finds with his cock is a little too good, the feeling of the thick base of him stretching you open with each thrust making you dazed and talkative, âItâs so deep like this, canâoh, my godâcan feel you everywhere.âÂ
Logan curses at your words, squeezing your waist and pushing you harder against the wall. Thereâs a deep-voiced appreciation of how good you feel in there too that doesnât quite make it from your ears to your brain because somehow heâs still speeding up. His head ducks down to your chest, mouthing at the soft skin of your breast before closing his lips around a nipple.Â
You whine, using the grip you have on him to roll your hips against the piston of his while you pant into his crown. Though the sound he makes against you when you do it makes you beam with pride, itâs not something you can keep up for very long, your hold on him slacking after a few thrust until you slip back against the wall.Â
Logan pulls back when you do, tightening his hold on you while his eyes glide from the bounce of your tits that glisten with his spit to down between your bodies.Â
âTouch yourself,â he instructs, grunting when you immediately do as he says by bringing a hand down between where youâre joined. Your fingers spread in a V-shape around where he fucks into you, collecting some of your mixed arousal before using it to rub your clit. âThatâs it, sweetheart, fuck, make yourself come.â
You nod, rapidly feeling everything zeroing in on the fingers that draw tight circles over your clit and that spot deep inside you that Loganâs finding with every thrust. âYeah, fuck, IâmâDonât stop, donât stop, pleaseââ
Heâs coming before you are, tucking his head below your chin to let out a deep, drawn out moan against your neck that ends with his teeth grazing your skin. Itâs so much, the pressure of him grinding himself into you with twitching, barely there thrusts, the heat of his release as it fills you where youâre gripping him like a vice, and as your fingers still twirl between your legs you come, and come, and come.Â
The leg you have wrapped around his hip slips off, but before your toes can even scrape the floor, he catches your thigh, cupping your ass with both hands now to keep you up, and close. With a soft, satisfied sound, you let your forehead fall against Loganâs shoulder, tasting the salt of his sweat with every light press of your lips there.
It takes you a moment to notice your back has come off the wall, that Logan is walking the both of you into your living room and to the couch. He bends his knees, dropping you between your pillows, where you land with as much grace as you can muster considering you feel like youâre made of lead. The soft couch is pleasant against your body, your sore limbs sinking into the cushions.Â
Logan fits himself between your legs again, widening them around his broad shoulders before his lips find your overstretched thighs, leaving marks and kisses up up up, until his tongue slips back into your pussy. Your back arches off the couch, hands shooting down to fist his hair with a whine while Loganâs hand fists his cock. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can tell heâs already getting hard again, and his tongue is making something swirl low in your belly thatâs making you pant, and...
Itâll be a long night.
THE PEARL
It had taken a lot of convincing and downright groveling, but Wade had allowed you to bring a movie for movie night. It wasnât that he didnât trust your taste in movies, his main gripe with your choice was that it wasnât a Christmas movie â mandatory for December. Wadeâs right, but after you explained that itâs the movie you always watch at the end of the year (and after Logan and yourself conceded that yes, his birthday was technically also your anniversary) heâd agreed.Â
Now that youâre actually watching it, you suspect heâs genuinely invested, because after a handful of comments about The Hulk, heâs been quiet for longer than youâve ever heard him be quiet.
In the scene on the screen, Mark Ruffaloâs character Dan and Keira Knightleyâs character Gretta are taking an evening walk around New York City, dancing, singing and sharing music with each other as they do. Eventually, they stop and sit next to each other on some steps, watching as the city continues to move without them.
â...the most banal scenes are suddenly invested with so much meaning, ya know? All these banalities, they're suddenly turned into these⌠these beautiful, effervescent pearls,â Dan says, wistfully looking on as New York bustles around him. âI gotta say, as I've gotten older these pearls are just⌠becoming increasingly more and more rare to me.â
The arm Logan has slung around your shoulder tightens, and the couch creaks softly as you lean further into his side, your cheek squishing against his warm chest.
âMore string than pearls?â Gretta inquires with a frown.
âYeah. You got to travel over a lot more string to get to the pearls.â Thereâs a pause as he turns to look at her, âThis moment is a pearl, Gretta.â
She gives him a hint of a smile. âIt sort of is, isn't it?â
âAll this has been a pearl,â he admits, sharing a look with her.
A finger curls under your chin, tipping your head up until your eyes meet Loganâs. He gives you the same look you just saw on the screen, his eyes soft as they take you in, the hint of green between the hazel illuminated by the light of the television. A thumb swipes over your bottom lip fondly, before he leans down to kiss you.
It takes a lot of string indeed.
Sometimes even interdimensional string.
â â â â â
(THE END)
If you made it all the way here, thanks for reading. Seriously. Please come say hi and/or share your thoughts via ask/messages/reblogs/whatever you feel comfortable with. I hope to share more writing soon - emphasis on hope, I'm not making promises, just an educated wish.
And lastly, if you're struggling with mental health problems, please don't wait for a handsome stranger to sweep you off your feet. I know from experience that it can be incredibly difficult to reach that hand out, but I also know from experience that things can get better. There are ways to get help and you deserve to get help đŤ
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Listen, we all need some Logan at the end of the day. Love how even when heâs frustrated, there is still a patience he only has with the reader. This was a sweet little read!
need you close;
summary: when your busy schedule leaves logan feeling neglected, he craves your attention in his own wayâby showing up with small, thoughtful gestures and lingering touches that hint at his pent-up need. despite his rugged exterior, loganâs vulnerability shines through as he tries to remind you heâs still there, waiting.
word count: 1k
a/n: okay so this was originally a headcanon idea but this was my most popular headcanon so I definitely wanted to post it as a one shot! always feel free to leave an ask if you guys want anymore logan themed headcanons or fics!
Logan wasnât used to being ignored. Or at least, not by you. It had been weeks since youâd been swamped with work, and while you appreciated his support, you couldnât help but feel the strain on your relationship. Heâd never say it, not out loud at least, but Logan was needy, and he craved your attention like nothing else.
The soft scratch of a pen met your ears, but you didnât even look up from your laptop. Logan stood by the counter, lazily scribbling something on a piece of paper. Heâd been in and out of your office all day, never staying long but always making his presence known. His scentâmusky, earthy, all Loganâlingered long after heâd leave. It used to comfort you, but now it only reminded you of the time you couldnât give him.
You sighed, leaning back in your chair. âLogan, Iâm really busy.â
Without missing a beat, he crossed the room and placed a steaming cup of your favorite coffee on the desk. His fingers lingered, brushing against yours as he slid the cup toward you. You glanced up and caught the faintest smirk on his lips.
âThought you could use a pick-me-up,â he grumbled, leaning in closer. His warm breath fanned over your cheek, and you could feel the tension melt from your muscles, despite how desperately you needed to focus. âBeen workinâ too hard.â
âThanks,â you muttered, trying to sound casual, but your voice betrayed you. The way his hands rested on your shouldersârough yet tenderâsent shivers down your spine. He started massaging the knots in your shoulders, his fingers kneading the tension from your overworked muscles. You hadnât realized how much you missed thisâmissed himâuntil now.
âYou need a break, darlinâ,â Logan muttered, his voice low and rough, sending a familiar heat through your body. âCanât have you burninâ out on me.â
You chuckled, but the sound was weak. âIâll take a break soon, I promise.â
Logan let out a soft grunt, clearly unsatisfied with your answer. But instead of arguing, he pulled back, leaving a small note on the corner of your desk before disappearing from the room. You picked it up, your heart softening at the sight of his messy handwriting: Missinâ you. Donât forget to take a break.
For a moment, you considered following him. You could see the hurt in his eyes, the frustration simmering just beneath the surface. But you had deadlines to meet, work piling up faster than you could keep up with. Youâd make it up to him laterâat least, thatâs what you kept telling yourself.
The next few days were more of the same. Logan was always around, but never directly demanding your attention. Heâd leave notes scattered around your workspaceâshort, sweet messages like Thinkinâ âbout you or Weâre overdue for some time together. He brought you food, sometimes your favorite meal, other times just a snack to keep you going. Heâd make excuses to touch you, his hands lingering on your back or brushing against your arm as he walked by.
But you noticed the shift. His touches were growing more possessive, more intense, as if he was trying to remind you that he was still here, waiting for you to give him the attention he so desperately needed.
One evening, you returned home from a long day at work, exhausted and drained. You dropped your bag by the door and collapsed on the couch, barely managing to kick off your shoes. Within seconds, Logan was beside you, pulling you into his lap without a word.
âLogan, Iâmââ
âShh.â His arms wrapped around you, and you could feel the weight of his need in the way he held you, so tight you thought he might never let go. âYouâre always busy, darlinâ. Let me take care of you.â
The frustration in his voice was clear, but so was the affection. He wasnât angryâhe was hurt. Hurt that you hadnât been giving him the time he needed. You felt a pang of guilt as you melted into his embrace, feeling the heat of his body against yours.
âIâm sorry,â you whispered, your head resting against his chest. His heart thudded steadily beneath your ear, a comforting sound that you hadnât realized youâd missed. âIâve been so caught up in work, I didnât mean toââ
âStop apologizinâ,â Logan interrupted, his voice softer than before. He buried his face in your hair, inhaling deeply. âJust... donât do it again, alright? I miss you.â
You nodded, your heart aching at the vulnerability in his voice. Logan wasnât the type to openly express his emotions, but the way he held you nowâtight, protective, needyâsaid more than words ever could.
He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering against your hair. âIâve been patient,â he muttered, his voice rumbling through his chest. âBut I need you. Not just here, but with me. You get what Iâm sayinâ?â
âI do,â you replied softly, shifting to look up at him. His eyes met yours, and you could see the raw emotion swirling in themâjealousy, frustration, but above all, love. âIâm sorry I havenât been around much.â
Logan grunted, but this time there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. âGuess I can forgive you, but only âcause I know how hard youâve been workinâ. Just donât make a habit of it.â
You laughed, feeling the tension in your chest ease. âIâll try not to.â
He leaned down, brushing his lips against yours in a soft, lingering kiss that made your heart race. You could feel the heat of his need, the way he poured every bit of his pent-up affection into the kiss. It was almost overwhelming, but in the best way possible.
When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath warm against your lips. âIâm not gonna stop remindinâ you Iâm here,â he said, his voice low and rough. âYouâre mine, darlinâ. Donât forget that.â
You smiled, your fingers tracing the edge of his jaw. âI wonât forget.â
For the first time in weeks, you allowed yourself to relax completely in his arms, savoring the warmth of his touch and the strength of his embrace. Logan wasnât one to be needy often, but when he was, it only made you fall harder for him.
And maybe, just maybe, it was exactly what you needed too.
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Tiny Dots on an Endless Timeline
pairing:Â Logan Howlett x Female Mutant!Reader rating: Explicit (MINORS DNI; 18+) word count: 28.5k summary: "Itâs been a few years since you'd passed, dying in one of the earlier Sentinel raids. He watched you die. He watched you beg and plead for him to get everyone to safety as you used your gift to keep the Sentinelâs away. Itâs his last memory of you; a memory that makes these missions harder. But the idea that stopping all of this from happening could save you, could give him more time with you, gave him something he too hasnât felt in a long time: hope."
warnings: slow burn, angst/smut/fluff, pining, grief, death, panic attacks, intimacy, unprotected vaginal sex, nipple play, grinding, making out, overstimulation, aftercare
Authorâs Note: In this fic, there is some dialogue from the movie used and lyrics from Roberta Flack's "The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face". I do not own the rights to either and they are only used to help the plot of the story.
Please read my pinned post before following me! Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked as this blogâs content is NSFW.
[AO3 link]
Abandoned Chinese Temple; Shanxi Province, China; Year 2023
Logan didnât have any high expectations when it came to missions. He has learned time and time again that every mission in this war creates loss. It seemed like every time they had a chance, that chance was quickly vanquished. He would convince himself for the longest time things will get better. They have to get better. All wars end eventually. Itâs just a matter of when and what the casualties will be. But right now, the end is nowhere in sight.
They were safe for now, hiding out in an old temple that has aged and weathered away with the times. Being back with everyone, seeing who is left of them, sits heavy in Loganâs chest. Having people he cared about ripped away like they were nothing, no proper burial or goodbye, aged him like nothing else. While physically he was still in his proper form and shape, mentally he was struggling.
Charles is giving a history lesson on the Sentinels, giving information many of the younger mutants were not fully aware of. Logan is aware of what this is leading up to, a plan Charles and Erik conjured up as a last resort. Itâs smart, but even when it seems too good to be true, he must remind himself the same thing: do not have any expectations.
Logan notices Charles is quiet, and everyoneâs attention is on Kitty. She had been talking and even though Logan had zoned out for a minute, the look on her face says it all; itâs impossible.Â
âYou have the most powerful brain in the world professor, but the mind can only stretch so far before it snaps. It would rip you apart. Iâm sorry.â
The gears in Loganâs head were turning. He doesnât quite know the limits of his mutation, especially in regard to traveling back in time. However, he has taken multiple bullets and slashes. He has been through some of the worst experimentation imaginable and his body always recovered. If his body could bear all of that, whatâs to say he wouldnât survive going back a few decades?
Itâs not long before everyone agrees that Logan going back was the only solution left. Charles and Erik walk him through what needs to be done the minute he wakes up as his younger self. Patience is what Charles keeps telling him, but of course he knows that will be challenging alone. Not to mention all the bullshit they were doing in the early 70s. Bastards.
âI do apologize, Logan. But I have the utmost faith that you can do this.â Charles chuckles, obviously hearing what Logan called them.Â
âThere is nothing left to lose.â Logan sighs.
âBut there is plenty to gain.â Charles smiles, the hope on his features stronger than it had been in a long time. âTo bring our loved ones home. To bring her home.â
Logan sucks in a breath, holding it for a second before releasing slowly. His hand goes to his neckline, pulling the chain from his suit to look at it and there it was. The engagement ring: a symbol of good things to come that will no longer come to fruition. A lifetime that was stripped away from him, a life with you no more.Â
Itâs been a few years since youâd passed, dying in one of the earlier Sentinel raids. He watched you die. He watched you beg and plead for him to get everyone to safety as you used your gift to keep the Sentinelâs away. Itâs his last memory of you; a memory that makes these missions harder. But the idea that stopping all of this from happening could save you, could give him more time with you, gave him something he too hasnât felt in a long time: hope.Â
âItâs good to see that spark in your eyes again, Logan.â Charles says.Â
Logan huffs under his breath. âI guess my emotions are starting to show on my sleeve, huh?âÂ
Charles laughs, before moving on into the other room. âYouâve grown a lot since Iâve first met you, Logan. And I have her to thank.â
Logan looks down with a smile, reminiscing only a little bit. You really were something else.
It isnât long before he is lying down on the stone table with Kitty explaining everything to him. It all makes sense, but he canât shake the fact he will be the only one to remember this war: the trauma, the anger, the dread, the grief. Even when this war will have no bearing on the new world he hopes to come back to, he will still live with that pain.Â
âAlright, Logan. Calm your mind and think peaceful thoughts. This may sting a little.â He can hear the uneasiness in Kittyâs voice, but he is ready. There is no pain he canât endure.
He closes his eyes and thinks about the happier times. Some of his fondest memories are of him simply waking up to watch the sun rays glide across your body in the morning. How you would curl more into his chest and mumble words with no connection whatsoever. How you would wake up, kiss his chest and keep going until your lips met his. He would always ask you to use your gift in those moments, wanting to hold you just a little longer before the day started. You were his little piece of heaven.
Even as he feels Kittyâs hands beside his head, he thinks maybe before he wakes up, heâll dream as his mind travels. Heâll dream of better times and that alone would hold him over during the impending pain. Because what he wouldnât give to have you in his arms again. Thatâs all he wants.Â
His hand grips onto the ring attached to his dog tags, holding it close as he prepares to enter a different time full of the unpredictable.Â
This is for you, baby. I will save you this time.
And with that thought, the hot pain scorches his temples and sets fire to his mind and then he is gone.
The Algonquin Hotel; New York City, NY; Year 1973
Music. Soft, calming music enters his conscience. It greets his mind, carefully shaking him awake. Then there is the sunlight. It is warm against his skin and he can feel it greeting him, telling him it is time to start the day. It all felt too familiar, and he thought he was dreaming. He felt something draped over his neck. It wasnât heavy but there was a weight to it. He lifted his hand to touch and the moment he felt another hand, he smiled. Yes, I am definitely dreaming because here she is. He brought your dainty hand to his lips, kissing it gently as he intertwined his fingers with yours.Â
But the moment is short lived as his other senses kick in. He took one inhale and knew immediately something wasnât right. He turns to lay flat on his back, and he canât help but curse under his breath. He feels like he is waking up to the pre-walk of shame as he looks at the woman beside him. He recognizes her, someone he had bodyguarded for a period of time and occasionally let her warm his bed. Well, he let her do a lot more than that.Â
If only he had the foresight to have kept it in his pants.Â
He sets her arm to her side and attempts to get out of the bed. He feels the water hold him back, and he groans deeply. Whoever invented water beds can fuck off.
He stands to his feet, taking in his surroundings. He recognizes the room and knows heâs in the Algonquin. The room has its signature set up, with its warm tones on the walls and floor, the plant hanging from the ceiling. Heâs been in this room before, or at least another copy of it. He sees the mirror between the two windows, and he walks up to see his reflection.Â
Holy shitâŚ
He looks the same, but the differences are prominent. The gray that was once at the corners of his hair and beard were gone. His head of hair looked fuller and was back to his original brown state. His body didnât look much different, but he felt rejuvenated. It looked like his body hadnât endured much. He looks down further and canât help but smirk. Heh, still got it.
His sights go to the window, and he peeks through the blinds, only to once again let expletives fall quietly from his lips. He knew it had worked, but seeing Times Square without its vast array of screens made him take a step back. There is a strange emotion forming in his chest, and while he canât describe it, he can tell itâs good.
âHoly shit,â he mutters in awe, taking in all the minute details. âIt worked.â
He feels relief, as well as curiosity as he scans the city in its older form. Charles had said he was a very different man during this time. He wonders what he will be walking into, and how he will prepare for the moment where Charles will think heâs full of shit.Â
But his mind drifts as he looks down onto the street, street musicians on the side playing their instruments for spare change. He remembers you telling him that was something you did for a while with empty storage containers and food bins as makeshift drums⌠right here in the city.
His heart aches at the thought that you are out there somewhere, living your life day by day like nothing was wrong. You had told him you had a bit of a rebellious streak in the 70s, especially when you were playing music with a bunch of punks most nights and living out of a van. It reminded him a lot of himself, how he would have some kind of gig to make money and then go home to his trashy, beat up trailer.Â
He always told you how he would have killed to see you in those times, and now that heâs here heâs tempted. Maybe he could leave right now and take a quick peak around the city. He wouldnât even interact with you. He just wants to see you breathing and alive. He wants to see you living your life to the fullest, even if it pains him to not interfere.
He scoffs at himself, shaking his head and releasing the blind shade. No. He came here to do one thing, and that was to find Charles and Erik. He knows that if he plays his cards right, everything will turn out okay. The mutant population will continue to thrive, his friends will be alive, and you will continue to be by his side. Logan knows good things come to those that wait, so he will wait for you. Even if it fucking sucks to do so.
He goes to put on his pants, deep blue jeans with a big belt buckle, something he wore often. Some things really donât change, do they?
He finishes covering himself, and the second his belt is strapped into place, he hears the door open. He turns to see three men standing by, talking loudly at the woman to get dressed as they stare him down.
Fuck.
Alleyway off of East 17th Street; New York, NY
âFuck!â
You shoot up from your van seat, the thumping on the door startling you awake. You groan, holding your head as you blink slowly. You turn and see a cop at your window, signaling for you to roll the glass down. You grab the lever, rotating it slowly before squinting up at the man.
âMaâam, you cannot park nor sleep here,â he emphasizes, snark laced in his voice. âYou need to get moving.â
You see him whip out his ticket book, a quick scribble before he rips it and hands it over to you.Â
âWhat? No warning?â You say defensively. âYou gotta understand I was drunk last night. No points for not drinking and driving?â
He looks you up and down, grimacing at your attire. âFor cretins like you, absolutely not. Unless you want to dispute the ticket in court, pay the fine.â He turns away, no consideration or anything.Â
You scoff as he turns to leave, and you roll your window up quickly. You watch as he walks away, and you bring your hand up, curling your fingers in. Everything slows down before freezing all together, only to then reverse in swift motion. You watch the cop rework his steps as time turns back, and you keep going until you see him drive back from which he came. You continue to let time go, so youâd have enough of it to get the hell out of the alley, before releasing your fingers. Time slows again and then it goes on like nothing has changed. You glance at the ticket, noting he had filled the ticket out prior before to scaring the daylights out of you.
âFucking pig,â you jeer, crumbling the ticket up and throwing it to the back.Â
You start up the van, pulling out of the alley slowly before turning onto the busy street. There was high traffic per usual, people pushing to get to their jobs. You glance at the clock to see it is nine in the morning, and hum at the amount of time you have before your gig tonight. You are tempted to find another place to park, to sleep off the dreadful hangover plaguing your head. You knew taking all those shots the night prior was a terrible idea, but the drinks kept coming after such a good show. It helps too that your mutation keeps everything in check, a fact that makes you grin.
Being able to control time, rhythm and pace come naturally to you. You are always able to keep a perfect tempo and can change it up at your will. While punk music has never been about perfection, it always helps that you can pull everyone back in if things get too out of hand. People tell you youâre a prodigy, but if only they knew. Your bandmates donât even know, and while you know they would embrace you, you felt it was always better to keep things hidden. Especially since you tend to use your power to save your ass far too often.
You decide to drive to central park, thinking some fresh air would stop your head from pulsing. You make a turn onto 44th Street, wanting to get to the main road for a straight shot to your new location. However, as you drive down, you start to feel strange. Your head was pulsing more, like your mind was trying to break down a door to give you a warning. It becomes borderline painful, and you canât help but pull over onto the side of the street.Â
You put your hazards on, opening the door before getting to the sidewalk. You squat down, dry heaving a little as you work to calm your mind down. You shut your eyes, rubbing your temples to ease the ache. And then as quickly as it came, it stopped. Your eyes open, looking around to see you are in front of the Algonquin.Â
What the fuck?
âI must have really outdone myself last night,â you mutter under your breath, standing up fully to get back into the van.
You get in and go to turn the hazards off, but you stop when you notice a man walking out of the hotel. You watch as he walks with purpose, getting into what looks to be a green 1970 Buick LaSabre. Your brain glitches, trying to process something that doesnât exist. You donât know him. Youâve never seen the man before. So why is your brain acting like you do?
You watch him drive off with a screech, and you watch until he is no longer in sight. You stare off into the distance for a minute, thinking what the hell just happened. It was new, and it isnât like anything youâve ever experienced. The aftermath settles in your chest with a weird sense of longing and it makes you even more confused.
I definitely drank too much last night.
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY
Logan knew the peaceful thoughts wouldnât come easy, but god damn the entire morning has been far from peaceful.Â
The altercation at the hotel ended with the three men on the floor, dead or alive he wasnât sure. He couldâve handled it better, but the shock from seeing his old claws and the excruciating pain from the bullets sent him into a frenzy. He had truly forgotten how painful bullets felt when his bones werenât covered in metal.Â
Driving from New York City to Westchester didnât help his mood. Heâd rather suffer a thousand stab wounds than drive in traffic and deal with dumbass drivers. The only upside was he had time to think about his approach with Charles, and how he was going to convince him that he was serious. He had a pretty good idea of what he needed to say and was feeling confident. As long as there were no obstacles, he could get this done.Â
But that all shattered when Hank opened the damn door. He hadnât even considered his presence, but Hank was a pretty understanding guy. Heâd understand, right?
Boy was he wrong.Â
He definitely underestimated how strong Hank was, especially after seeing him as a younger man. Their tussle had landed him onto the marble table in the center of the foyer and with Hank roaring at him from the chandelier. It was no surprise that the one person who still lives here came out: Charles.
Loganâs first thought after looking at Charles was how much of a bum he appeared to be. He wasnât one to judge, but to see his mentor in such rough shape was perplexing. It looked like the optimism he always held so close was far gone, which was made clear when he laughed in Loganâs face.
Charles did say he would need to be patient with him, but fuck he was a pain in the ass. Logan understood, as he wasnât much better when he arrived at the mansion, but if he was this much of an ass as Charles is now, God help him.
At this moment, he was working answers out of Hank, trying to piece something together that would convince Charles that what he was saying is true. Then he heard footsteps from the stairs.
âIâll help you. Iâll help you get to Raven.â
Which now leaves them all in Charlesâs old office, discussing plans on how to retrieve Erik without getting caught. Erik had explained where he was before Logan got here, but now knowing what he did to get there makes this more complicated. Not that it already wasnât, but it is for certain that his cell will be guarded to hell and back.
Once again, fucking bastards.
âWhat resources do we have?â Logan asks, hoping that Charles or Hank know someone with an ability to get them in and out.Â
âWellâŚâ Charles draws out. âI may know one person who could do it, but she will need some convincing. If we can find her, that is.â Charles chuckles, his hand rubbing his face in disbelief.
Hankâs eyes go wide. âYou donât meanâŚâ
âSheâs the only person that could pull it off, with her mutation and all.â Charles goes to stand, taking a swig of his whiskey in the process.
âWho is she?â Logan asks curiously, the odd mix of dismay and confidence in their tones intriguing. However, the second he hears your name, he freezes.Â
âWhat?â Logan says with uneasiness, something the other two donât pick up on.
âShe was a recruit back when Erik and I were forming a team to fight against Sebastian Shaw.â Charles explains.
âShe can control time,â Hank jumps in enthusiastically. âMove it forward, backward, stop it all at once.âÂ
âShe left shortly after Cuba,â Charles takes a drink with that. âShe said she didnât want to be at odds with Erik and I.â
âIs there anyone else we could use?â Logan interjects quickly. The idea of seeing you is oh so tempting, but there is a fear that any sort of interaction with you will tear you away from him. To see you is one thing. To interact with you is another.
âThere are mutants that can stop time telepathically, but she can do it all, which is why she is our best bet.â Charles adds, waving his hand like he is explaining something complicated. âThe only problem is I have no idea where she went. I havenât seen or heard from her in over a decade.â
Logan canât help but scrunch his face, biting the inside of his cheek in contemplation. He knows he canât let his selfishness get in the way of the lives at stake. If you really are the best bet to get Erik out, then so be it.Â
âFine, but we just use her to get Erik. After that, she is done.â
âWell, we have to find her first.â Charles shrugs. âI canât use my powers, so we will need to find an alternative.â
âWe have a phone book.â Hank suggests, already walking to the stack of books behind the sofa.Â
âThat is not going to help, but she was in a band around this time right here in New York.â Logan says, looking at Hank as he grabs the phone book. âShe was playing gigs most nights in 1973.â
Charles and Hank look at one another, seemingly perplexed by this new knowledge. âHow do you know this?â Charles speaks for them both.
âLetâs just say she becomes a protege of sorts for you in the future.â Logan leaves out the rest. This wasnât the time to get into the details of his relationship. âI know the band name. We can call popular hole in the wall venues around the city to see if her band is playing tonight.â
âIâll start looking through and making calls,â Hank offers, and sits down at Charlesâ desk.
âLet us know if you find anything. The minute we know something, we leave.â Logan says.Â
Logan leaves before a response is given and goes outside. The sun is bright, surprisingly not too cold for this time of year. He leans against the old brick, taking out a cigar he magically had in his pocket along with a lighter he had snatched off the desk. He cuts the end with his claw, and lets it sink back in as he puts it to his lips. He goes to light, his hand a little shaky but he eventually gets a good burn going, the taste entering pleasantly into his mouth and lungs.
He puffs out some smoke, sighing at how the events of today have turned. He had made the decision not to see you, and now he is going to have to. Itâs a double-edged sword; he gets to see the beautiful woman he fell in love with, while also taking the risk of altering his and your future together. So many what ifâs: what if something bad happens to you? What if you all get caught and you get sent to prison? What if you somehow realize you donât like him in this timeline?
What if you die and he canât save you again?
That thought alone makes him choke a little, lost in so much thought the smoke overwhelmed him. No, he canât think like that. There is too much on the line for his emotions to play games. Besides, maybe in the end, regardless of if he ends up miserable, youâd wake up in the future safe.
He just wants everyone he loves safe.
Maxâs Kansas City Nightclub; Manhattan, NY.Â
Logan has been to many different nightclubs. Having been a bodyguard for hire, these types of places were nothing out of the ordinary. There were plenty of young women he was hired to watch, ones that wanted to rebel a little, that would come to these clubs to have a taste of freedom. They all had the same shit: drugs, alcohol, sex, and bad decisions.
He was starting to feel the latter.
It isnât that he disagrees with Charles. Your mutation is powerful and would create easy access to Erikâs hold cell. You are the obvious choice. However, he canât stop debating with himself on if dragging you into this will change the future; one where you and him are never to be. The thought alone makes his stomach turn.
Along with that, just seeing you in the flesh is enough to send him into disarray. Logan is far from a nervous man, but it has felt like an eternity since heâs seen your face. One look at you and he may not be able to hold it together.Â
Him and Charles are sitting at the bar, nursing their shitty whisky. It burns the same, and by this time Logan is finishing his fourth glass, waving down the bartender for a fifth.
âListen,â he hears Charles yell over the loud crowd. âI know you can hold your liquor but you should probably slow down.â
âTrust me, bub,â Logan shoots the fifth round down his throat, swallowing quickly. âYouâll want me as loose as possible for this.â
âWhat is with you? Is this about her?â Charles nods to the empty stage. âYou acted very strange when discussing her today. Were you two close?âÂ
Logan looks down into his glass, his mouth opening and shutting not knowing what to say. It doesnât matter, however, because before he can make a decision, drums are starting to beat down heavily.Â
â1, 2, 3, 4!â
Drums start bumping, along with guitar and bass chords. The crowd starts running to the back where the stage is located, jumping and vibrating to the music. Logan looks to the stage, and lo and behold there you are on the drum kit.Â
Even when you were no longer playing with a group, you played a lot at the mansion. You often taught music classes for students who just wanted to have some fun. It was also your way of releasing some steam. Charles had to soundproof the music room so your constant drum smashing wouldnât cause a disturbance.Â
But here you are, keeping perfect tempo as you keep up your rhythm. Seeing you in your element was so much more than he thought. You were an animal on those drums, totally submerged in your performance. You were smiling, interacting with other band members during each song. Whether it be adding vocals, doing theatrics with your drumsticks, or silly banter, you looked like you were meant to be up there.Â
âSheâs really good!â Charles yells over the music, and Logan can only nod. He is immersed in you, his nerves gone as he takes you in. He missed you so badly that seeing you again has given him some grace. He needs to be careful, but right now it doesnât matter. He just wants to enjoy seeing you happy and alive.Â
The set goes on for another twenty minutes, the songs short and quick. The crowd was getting more rowdy as the set continued. They were shouting lyrics back, heads rocking and popping as they jumped around. He sees you looking out into the crowd, only for your eyes to meet his own and then to his right. Your eyes went wide, and he turned to see Charles lifting his hand with a small wave.Â
âWell, the cats out of the bag.â Charles mutters, not leaving eye contact with you.
Logan sees the shock in your features, and can sense you picking up the tempo slightly. Your bandmates didnât seem to mind, however, as they picked it up as well and the crowd seemed to love it. The last cord plays, and the crowd cheers.
âWeâd like to thank yâall for coming. Goodnight!â The vocalist said before the band walked off the small stage. You, on the other hand, didnât follow.Â
He watched you make your way through the throngs of people. The look on your face is unclear, but the moment you are in front of him, itâs like itâs just you two.
He fully takes you in. You looked about the same, maybe a little younger. You were wearing jeans with holes at the knees, beat up converse, and a white v-neck that revealed your collarbones quite nicely. A black leather jacket, that has seen better days, pulls it all together. There was a sheen of sweat at your temples, creating a shine in the baby hairs. Logan only had two thoughts in his head: that he desperately wishes he could pull you into his embrace and that you looked so sexy like this.
So incredibly sexy.
âWell, look what the cat dragged in.â You smirked, hands on your hips.Â
âI must say this is a pleasant surprise.â Charles laughs, standing up from his seat. âItâs so good to see you, darling.â
âItâs good to see you too, and walking for that matter!â You pulled him in, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek. It makes Logan shift slightly, a little jealousy lingering even though there is nothing he could do about it.Â
You let Charles go, and you look at Logan, quirking your head as your eyes scan him up and down. He keeps his eyes on you, not budging.
âSo Charles, whoâs your friend?âÂ
âAh, yes, well this here is-â
âLogan.â
Loganâs eyes go wide when your hands shoot to your head, gasping as you grip your head. He reaches out, wanting to do something to ease whatever is going on, but as soon as it starts, it stops.
âFuck, Iâm sorry. I must have really overdone it with the drinking last night.â You mumbled.
Logan smirks. âA real party animal, huh?âÂ
âMore like donât know when to quit,â you sigh. âSo, how did you know that I was playing here tonight? Or better yet, how did you even know I was doing this? Keep tabs on me up there?âÂ
âActually, Logan mentioned it. He-â Charles starts, but Logan is quick to hit his back, making him double over from the impact.
âWhat he means is it is a long story, and we should go somewhere else to discuss it.â Logan says with urgency, hoping his tone takes your attention away from how heâs acting.
âWhy not talk about it here?â You shrug, going to the bar to order a drink. âThe night is still young.â
âThis conversation needs to be for your ears only. It is highly confidential.â Charles interjects.
âHmm,â you donât look at him, finally getting the bartenderâs attention. âTrying to drag me back into some bullshit, Charles?â
âBullshit that could save everyoneâs life, sweetheart.â Logan says. He isnât used to your slight indifference, but it is something he is going to have to get used to. You are a different person during this time, after all.
You turn back to them, sighing before you lift your hand up, middle finger and thumb pressed together before snapping. Everything stops instantly. Drinks that are being poured freeze. People talking with others go still with mouths open trying to get the next word. The lights stop flickering, some looking to be out while others keep the light.Â
Time goes still. Except for the three of them.
His eyes go to look at you, where you are wearing a smug look.Â
âMy ears only, right?â You say, lifting your drink like you are cheering for something. âSo start talking.â
The Pentagon; Arlington, VA
The Pentagon was incredibly crowded, which was to be expected. Tours were taking place. People were rushing to get to their posts. Security was at each corner of the building. There is a lot of commotion, yet you knew this would be a piece of cake. And yet, you couldnât believe you had agreed to do this.Â
When Logan had explained he was from the future, a future where everyone will eventually become slaughtered, it took you aback. It was hard to think about. You knew the U.S. Government has an aversion to mutants, but to create a weapon to wipe them clean with Ravenâs DNA? You shouldnât be surprised, not with everything currently going on, but you are.
The plane ride was fairly quiet. Hank and Charles were in the cockpit, leaving Logan and you in the main lounging area. You had noticed Logan looking at you quite a bit throughout the quick ride. It was like he wanted to say something, but he couldnât. You couldâve sworn you saw something akin to pining in his eyes, but you brushed it off. You didnât know if it was his way of figuring you out, or if there was something else.Â
You wondered if you and him are connected somehow. With the headaches coinciding around Logan, you couldnât help but wonder if your mutation is doing something new, something it couldnât do before because you have never met a time traveler. Not until now.Â
Maybe you will get answers later. Right now, you have a job to do.Â
You are standing in the middle of the Pentagonâs main sector, mentally preparing yourself for this. You would have to hold time for thirty minutes, enough time for Charles and Hank to reach and retrieve Erik from his cell. This only gives them fifteen in and fifteen out.
âAre you sure about this?â You hear Logan say from beside you. âWe can find another way if it is going to be too much.â
He sounds so sincere, and it oddly does something for you. Here is a man you donât know much about caring about your wellbeing. For someone of his apparent nature, it is endearing.Â
âIâll be fine, but I appreciate you caring enough to ask.â You smile at him, and the smile he gives back makes your stomach flutter. Just a little bit.Â
âAlright here goes nothing.â You turn to look at Charles and Hank. âThe second everything stops, grab an authorized personnel card off of one of the security guards and go quickly.âÂ
âAnd youâre sure we are the best people to do this?â Charles mutters, looking torn.
You smirk at him. âOh, Charles. You may not realize this. but he cares about you. Maybe this is the reunion you need.âÂ
âI doubt it,â he grumbles but nods at you to go on.
You look forward, hands slightly in front of you before snapping your fingers. It isnât instant like it usually is. It travels, people coming to a stop before everything is completely still and silent. It takes a lot of focus and precision on your part. Youâve never had to freeze an entire building, let alone one that runs so deep.Â
As told, Charles and Hank make quick work, grabbing a card from a guard right by the door they needed to go through. Once the door shut, it was just you and Logan, who had insisted he stay in case something happens.
You sense his eyes on you again, just as he had on the plane. Minutes pass, and you think maybe he will say something, but no. Itâs just radio silence. You could handle it on the plane, but right now? Absolutely not.
You roll your eyes at his behavior. âYou psychoanalyzing me or something? I can multitask, you know.â
Logan moves so he is facing you, and he is only two steps away from you. You notice he is much taller than you, maybe by a foot. His attire is oddly fitting for someone from the future. The brown leather, the feather pattern on his shirt, and god the big ass belt buckle with blue jeans that fit his legs so nicely. You had to ask.
âSo, if you are from the future, I gotta ask: did you come dressed like that?âÂ
He looks down at what he is wearing, inspecting himself. âWhatâs wrong with how Iâm dressed?â
He looked so self-conscious. It was cute. âNot at all. Just not something I expected someone from the future to wear.â
âWell, technically I am in my younger selfâs body. This is how I dressed in 1973.â He chuckles. âI guess I still dressed like this though, before everything went to shit.â
âSo, you an old man now or something?âÂ
He smirks at you. âIâm probably older than your great grandfather, sweetheart.â
Your eyes widen at that statement. âIs that your mutation? Being immortal?â
âAmongst other things,â he holds out his hand, and within a blink of an eye claws are coming out from in between his knuckles. You tilt your head in awe, admiring the bones that are tinted yellow. He then lets them sink back in, the wounds healing instantly.
âRegenerative healing. Thatâs pretty neat,â you say. âStill must hurt though.â
âEvery time,â Logan hums. âBut you get used to it.âÂ
âI see,â you murmur, not knowing what to say after that. Luckily, Logan keeps going.
âYou must practice a lot for you to stop time in a place like this.â
You canât help the chuckle that slips your lips. âI wouldnât call it practice. I just get myself into stupid situations.â
Logan grins, taking a step closer to you. âYeah? Like what?â
âWell, a few weeks ago we got into a tussle with the police. They decided to start some shit at another club we were playing at. Gave me a black eye even.â You answered, oddly making light of the memory.
âBet you still looked just as pretty,â Logan joked, but with the way he was looking at you, youâd think he was being serious.
âY-yeah,â you stutter. âBut then they started making arrests. Thatâs when I shifted time back. Warned my bandmates before they came in. They were confused about the black eye though.â
This made Logan laugh, and you swear your heart did a double take. Why was this man affecting me like this?
âI like the idea of you getting a little rough. Itâs very different.â Logan purrs, and before you can ask what he means, you feel your powers start to weaken.
âShit,â you curse, hands clenching in front of you.Â
âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
You grunt in response, trying to pull yourself together. âHow long has it been since theyâve left? Shouldnât they be back by now?â
âItâs been about thirty minutes,â he confirms. âYou are certain time has stopped in this entire building?â
âIâm very certain. I wouldnât be struggling right now if it werenât.â You say with gritted teeth, getting lightheaded. âLogan, I told them thirty minutes. If I hold on any longer, Iâll pass out.â
Logan is looking around, searching for something before he takes off in a path you canât see. You are breathing heavily, trying hard to focus but you can feel yourself slipping. Itâs like you are on a cliff holding onto loose rocks waiting for them to slip.Â
âOkay look at me, baby.â
Baby?
You look to see he is holding a key card. He holds your attention, nodding to the door Charles and Hank went through. âWe are going to walk over to the door. Iâm going to open it with this. When I do, let go.âÂ
âFuck, what if we get caught?â You whimper, the mental pain starting to get stronger.Â
âI wonât let that happen again.âÂ
Again?
Before you could contemplate his words, heâs got his arm wrapped around your torso. His left hand holds your leather clad wrist, keeping you steady as two start to walk.
âSmall steps, small steps. Thatâs right,â Logan encourages, keeping pace with you as you walk slowly.Â
Heâs holding you gingerly, like you will break if he lets go. Itâs strange but you welcome it. You've never had anyone hold you with such care before. You were rough around the edges. Most people think you can handle anything, but itâs almost as if Logan has done this before; a common feeling youâve had ever since you laid eyes on him.
He stopped at the door, pulling the keycard from his left pocket and scanning it. The light blinks green and he pushes it, keeping it open with his foot as he looks at you.
âYou ready?âÂ
You nod slightly. âJust tell me when.â
âNow!â
You immediately drop your hands, and Logan is shoving you through the threshold. You gasp holding onto your chest as Logan keeps his grip on you so you donât fall. You take a deep breath, calming yourself down enough to keep going.Â
âWe need to get moving. We will get caught if we stay here.â
Logan nods, letting go of you to look at the map beside the door. You miss his touch already.
âWe need to get to this elevator,â he points to the elevator in the south wing. âItâll take us to the kitchen that leads to the lower cell.â
Without another word, you two are running. You put your hands up again, freezing time again but only in the areas you two are passing. It makes your brain fuzzy, but you push on. Logan looks back at you from time to time to check on you, worry evident on his face.
âIâm fine, keep going!â You press.Â
Before you two know it, you are both at the elevator. Logan is clicking the button repeatedly like itâll come faster, and within a few seconds it opens. You both rush in there, and Logan repeats his treatment to the closing button before the doors ultimately close.Â
You lean against the metal wall, taking a deep breath and praying to whatever God is listening that no one gets on this damn elevator. You donât know if you have it in you to protect you and Logan if someone gets on.Â
Luck was on your side, however. The elevator dinged, and when you looked up you saw it was listed as the floor you were getting off on. A sigh of relief escapes your lips, but it gets sucked back into your throat when you hear alarms. The elevator doors open and a multitude of men with chef kitchen attire run in completely drenched.Â
Before either of you get crushed by the masses, you grab Loganâs hand and yank him out. You hear more commotion coming from down the hall, yelling and crashing. You walk past Logan, jogging towards the noise. You make it to the door, hearing the voices loud and clear, and you bust in to see the insanity.Â
The kitchen was a wreck. The water is still coming as the alarm blares on. You see Hank trying to pull Charles off of Erik, but he wonât budge. Everything is a mess, and something about it sends you spiraling.
âOh fuck no!â
You are hurling yourself at these men. You grab Charlesâs jacket, and with the help of Hank yank him off of Erik. Hank flies to the floor, and you slam Charles to the wall. He looks so pitiful, and it makes you sick.
âI said thirty fucking minutes,â you seethe. âMy power has limits, and this is the reason you all pushed them today? Because you couldnât help yourself?â
Charles is silent, looking at you with complete guilt. Good, you think. He should feel fucking guilty.
âI could have passed out. You are so lucky I had Logan, or your ass would be going to prison.â
You let go of him, shoving him more into the wall as a warning, and turn to the other two knuckleheads. Hank and Erik are standing, looking at you in shock. They are really about to be in shock, however, because you werenât done.
âYou,â you pointed at Hank. âI know you hate your mutation, but your self-hatred almost fucked us all. I know you arenât that fucking weak, especially to pull his scrawny ass off of that dumbass.â
âWell, itâs good to see you too-â you hear Erik start. You donât let him finish.
âAnd you,â you shout, walking up to him and gripping the white prison uniform at the collars. âI know you are probably very shocked to see all of us. However, and understand this clearly, you do as we say. I am not about to have my future or anyone elseâs fucked up because of you. You hear me?âÂ
Erik smirks at you. âYes, maâam.â God, you wish you could wipe that look off his face.
You huff, shoving him away from you. âLetâs get out before we get caught.âÂ
âIt might be too late for that.â You hear Charles say, and you turn to see five Pentagon security members, plastic guns drawn.
âCharles,â Erik calls out. âDo something, Charles.â
âI canât,â Charles says under his breath.
âHands up or we will shoot!â One of the security officers yells, their fingers right on the trigger.
You groan at how worthless everyone is acting, and using your anger, you snap your fingers and immediately clench your fists. The cops freeze in place, and you are panting as your muscles suck up all the oxygen in your body.
âSomeone better knock them out before I give out and-â you are cut off by the sound of a pan connecting to skulls.Â
Logan was knocking these men out with ease, his strength apparent as the metal clangs. He is moving like a natural, arm swinging precisely to hit each man standing. It was captivating and watching him breathing in and out in his drenched clothes was very hot. You could feel your underwear start to cling to you, and you knew it wasnât just from the water coming from the sprinklers.
You let go, hands going to your knees as you catch your breath once again. Logan is immediately by your side.
âLetâs get out of here,â Logan commands, and he wraps his arms around your torso to sit you straight up.
âI got you, sweetheart. Just hold onto me,â Logan says in a low tone, like talking any louder would disturb the already broken peace.
Without a word, you grip onto him and you two walk out of the kitchen to the elevator. The others are waiting for you two, keeping the elevator open and soon enough you are all in.Â
Itâs amazing to you that you all made it out. Charles was smart enough to know to go through a back exit, and luckily Erik was able to move the cameras to face a different direction. It was as if none of you were ever there, other than the fact those security officers saw you. Youâre hoping Logan hit them hard enough for them to forget.
Charles had parked the rental car close by, shoving yourselves in before going off onto the road. You are in the middle in the backseat, with Logan still holding you close. Erik was to you right, working to put on the jacket and hat Charles had brought to make him less recognizable.Â
Well, less recognizable to fucking idiots maybe.
âAlright, where to now?â Erik asks, still trying to get the jacket on in the packed backseat.
âWe need to get her home.â Logan replies.
âWhat?!â You shout, feeling complete disbelief. âWhy am I going home?!â
âListen, thank you for your help. But this is dangerous, and you shouldnât get mixed up in it.â Logan continues, his tone a lot more serious than it has been today.Â
âI just fucking infiltrated the Pentagon and now you are worried about dragging me into this mess?âÂ
Logan is quiet, and you only get more pissed off. Who the hell does he think he is?Â
You push his arm off of you, twisting your body so you are looking directly at him. âI donât know if you noticed, but if I werenât there today, you all wouldâve been fucked. I care about what happens, and yâall need me. So, I apologize but Iâm fucking coming.â
Loganâs shoulders drooped, his hand going to rub his face. He breathes out, as if heâs trying to calm himself down, before turning to look out the window.
âFine.â
âGood, so we are in agreement.â You say, before laying back against the middle cushion.Â
You let your eyes close as the sounds of the cars and bumps of the road lull you to rest. The chill from the water sets in, and subconsciously you find yourself wishing those strong, warm arms that had held you so much today would wrap around you once more.
The Atlantic Ocean
Fucking bastards.
Logan doesnât understand how Charles and Erik were ever friends. Imagining them as anything but seemed easier. Maybe itâs the full rage of testosterone in their younger bodies. It would explain the extreme yelling, bickering, anger, grief. He understands the need to release all of that, but he already hates flying. Getting the man who can control metal upset isnât a great idea in an aircraft.Â
Things eventually calm down, but whatâs left is now a mess of broken glass and ceramic. Charles exits the lounge to go to the cockpit, and at the angle Logan is at he can see Charles with his head in his hands. He feels bad truthfully, seeing him so broken down and beaten up isnât easy. It reminds him a lot of himself. Looking at Erik, who looks like he hadnât been in a prison for almost a decade, irritates him slightly. But what irritates him more is that he almost crashed the fucking plane.
âSo, you were always an asshole.âÂ
As if on cue, he hears the door to the backroom open and you walk out. You are rubbing your eyes, holding onto the wall as your eyes double take on the view.Â
âLooks like I missed something eventful,â you yawn, walking over to start picking up broken glass.
âHey, donât do that. Let him do it,â Logan says, pulling a cigar out and putting it under the lighterâs flame. âHe did this. Let him pick this shit up.â
Erik puts his hand up, letting you know heâs got it. As he starts cleaning up, Logan watches you carefully walk over to sit across the table from him. You lean across it, crossing your arms as you leave your eyes on him. âGive him a break. Heâs been through a lot.â
Logan looks your way, taking another puff of his cigar. âYeah, and he couldâve killed us.â
You shrug, leaning back into the seat while keeping eye contact. âCouldnât have been that bad. I woke up to the plane flying smoothly.â
Logan takes another puff, a grin wanting to desperately pull onto his lips. Still a heavy sleeper.
âI think you just sleep like the dead,â Logan jokes, leaning forward with his elbows settling on the table.
âI guess.â Your head turned to the window, eyes closing and opening in slow succession. âBut seriously, what did we expect? They may have similar ideals for mutant kind, but they are different sides of the same coin. Iâm sure seeing one another after a whole decade makes it hard to keep everything bottled up.â
Logan nods in agreement because he can relate. When he saw you for the first time after what felt like a lifetime, it took everything in him not to pull you in. Even now, watching you as the light reflects on your face, he wishes he could seat you in his lap like he would after a long day of training. Having his arms around you as you curled into his side, feeling your warmth against him, made everyday worth living.Â
There was some reprieve when he was helping you after you stretched your powers to your limits, but he longs for you. He longs for your body, your kisses, your comfort, your love. He longs to show you how much you mean to him, to tell you he loves you. It is too much sometimes, especially in the kitchen at the Pentagon. Seeing how aggressive you were and smelling your scent change to something of want is making everything so much harder. He was already so worked up, he could have easily snapped, but he didnât and it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad.Â
There is a part of him that wishes you werenât here, so he could finally focus, but in reality he is thankful you chose to stay. He knows it is for selfish reasons, but at the same time he knew theyâd be lost without you. You give him the strength to keep going; the strength to push forward, even when itâs painful to keep everything he wants to do and say inside. So, he gets it. He gets it so much.
Logan notices you looking at him, and realizes he was staring. He coughs, trying to hide his embarrassment as he puts the cigar to his lips.Â
âSo, is that why you didnât join either of them after Cuba?âÂ
Your smile is small, like you were reminiscing. âBoth had very good points, and it makes sense why they believe the way that they do. Charles tends to see the best in people and Erik sees the worst.â
âSo, you couldnât pick a side?â
âI was only seventeen at the time,â you say. âI wasnât about to let two grown men tell me what to do, and Iâm glad I didnât. Iâm not their keeper.âÂ
âSmart girl.â
You laugh at this, and it feels like dopamine is being injected into his brain. This is the first time he has felt⌠Joy? Happiness? He could listen to it for days.
âYou said they sent you here together. Do they actually become friends again?â
Logan sends a small smile your way, but shakes his head. âItâs complicated.â And it really is. Logan is sure that if the Sentinelâs never came to be, they would still be at some sort of odds against each other. âLike you said, same coin, different sides.â
âI see,â you start to tap your fingers against the table, a nervous habit Logan had picked up on when you two met the first time. âSince we are talking, you never answered my question.â
Logan lifts an eyebrow in confusion, not realizing anything was asked.Â
âThe other night at Maxâs. Charles said you knew where to find me. How did you know?â
Logan only hums, taping his cigar to let the ash pool into the crystal tray. He feels like revealing anything about the future is a bad omen, but his restraint is wearing thin, and he canât help but relent.
âYou told me.â
âSo, we know each other in the future?â
Oh, you donât even know the half of it, sweetheart.
âWe do,â Logan breathes out.Â
You leaned in closer, your jaw in your hands. âAre we friends?â
Not quite. âSure, yeah. Weâre friends.â
âAre we close?â You are smiling big, teeth showing. He missed that smile.Â
âVery close,â he leans in towards you, faces a few inches apart. âSo close that I know everything about you.â
âYeah?â Your eyes flash. âLike what?â
âAsk me something.â He is feeling cocky now.
âOkay,â you draw out, looking around as you contemplate, before your eyes shine back at him. âWhatâs my favorite band?âÂ
âThey donât exist yet. Not for another couple of decades.â
âWhat? Really?â You gasped.
âThe genre doesnât even exist yet,â Logan grinned, seeing you surprised going right to his head. âBut right now, it would probably be Velvet Underground.âÂ
âWow, youâre good.â You compliment. âOkay, how about my favorite color?â
âReally?â
âShould be easy if you know me so well.â
Logan vibrates, loving the back and forth happening between the two of you. âItâs blue. Dark blue especially because you love how the sky looks after the sun has set.â
You look down, and Logan wasnât having any of that, lifting your chin with one finger. He moves forward just an inch more. âYouâre going to have to ask something a little harder, sweetheart.â
You shy away from him, still staying close, a rush of pink added to your cheeks. Fuck, you are so beautiful.Â
âOkay, well,â you say, still looking away from him. âThere is something else I can do with my mutation. What is it that I can do?â
Logan knows this answer far too well. Itâs the only reason he was able to be with you as he is, even though he truly believes he wouldâve fallen in love with you regardless.
âYou can stop yourself from aging.â Logan whispers, not wanting the others to hear. âYou use time to stop the clock in your body. You did it for a year after Cuba to try and gain back the time that was lost.â
âI wanted to finish high school, as crazy as that sounds.â You chuckle.
âMore like you wanted to continue doing marching band,â Logan says, laughing as you smack his arm.Â
âOh God, you must really know me if you know that!â You cackle. âI started aging again after I graduated though.â
âWhy is that? Didnât want to stay seventeen forever?â Logan tries to make light of it, but he knows why. He always knows why.
âWell,â you paused, leaning back into your seat with your hands still on the table. âThe war in Vietnam got worse. There were a lot of boys I went to school with that got drafted, and they didnât make it. If they did, they came back completely altered. Made me realize this isnât a world worth living in for too long, I guess.â
âI get the feeling,â Logan responds, to which part he isnât sure.
âAnd now that I know that the future's so bleaker, is there really a reason to want to keep living for longer than you need to?â You were looking at him so genuinely, and it broke his heart.Â
He sets his cigar down in the tray and goes to take your hands into his with a squeeze. He looks right at you, hoping what heâs conveying reaches your ears with sincerity and hope. âWe can change that tomorrow, and when we do, you will have a reason to keep going.âÂ
The conversation continues for a while, going back to answering questions for you and seeing your face light up when he guesses correctly, and he does every single time. Itâs dark out now, the new day counting down to start. Logan can feel himself getting tired, but you? You were dozing off fast with your head against the plane's wall.Â
âHey,â Logan reaches over the table, shaking your shoulder. âYou should go lay down. We have a long day tomorrow.â
You yawn, stretching your limbs before blinking a few times. âAre you sure? I slept in for most of the day. You should take it.â
âI insist. Besides, Iâm sure you donât want to sleep in here with these bozos.â Logan looks in the direction of Erik and Charles, one sleeping in the chair and the other sprawled on the couch.
âI suppose youâre right, but will you be okay?âÂ
âIâm used to sleeping wherever, so this is nothing. Please, get some sleep.â
Logan watches you get up from your seat, walking over to him before leaning down to his ear. âGoodnight, Logan. Sweet dreams.â
He feels your lips against his cheek, and he inhales sharply. He turns to watch you go into the backroom, and after a long few seconds he releases in an exhale. He puts his head in his hands, rubbing his temples in some poor attempt to calm himself, but his thoughts run fast and there is no stopping them.
He can feel himself close to snapping. Itâs like everything you do is calling him in, daring him to do something. He knows it is insane. You donât know him. If he were to do something, confess everything, what would that do for the future? Everything he says and does can change what the future holds, and a selfish part of him doesnât care. When it comes to you, he is a selfish bastard.
He leans back in his seat, closing his eyes. Tomorrow is the day things will be set right. When that happens, maybe he will wake up to a world where you are still there. He just needs to hold on a little longer.
Hotel Majestic; Paris, France; Day of the Paris Peace Accords
Getting into the hotel was surprisingly easy. You thought security wouldâve been on a high alert, but it was oddly empty. Everyone is able to walk around freely without worry, yet you are still on edge.Â
You donât know why, but youâve had an uneasy feeling ever since the plane landed. You keep relaying it back to nerves, but you know you are lying to yourself. Something isnât right, and the lack of security here is only making you feel worse.
âNot much security here for a big event like today,â Logan says.
âItâs still a hotel. Anyone can still stay here.â Charles responds. âWe still need to be careful though. Stay alert.â
You all make it to the staircase, and you see a map of the hotel. You point to the eastern wing, seeing how the third floor has a section for conference rooms. âTheir meeting is most likely happening somewhere here.â
âOkay, letâs get there quick. We are running out of time.â Logan says urgently, and with that everyone is running up the stairs.
Logan is ahead of everyone, and you take notice how much his demeanor changed. He is ultra-focused, his mind only on one thing, and you canât blame him. Youâre sure he is under an insane amount of pressure to ensure he pulls through given the future circumstances. However, youâve taken notice of how he keeps glancing at you with every chance he gets and it makes you wonder if there isnât something else going on in that head of his.
Before you can ponder more on it, you hear yelling. You hear things moving harshly and what sounds like bodies hitting the floor. You all take a turn and see a flood of Vietnamese, Russian, and American military personnel running out of a room you can only assume is where your target is: Raven.
You all enter the room, and everything happens so quickly. Ravenâs body hits the table, Charles is at her side, and Erik takes the tasers that latched to her body and gets them onto the man to the right of the table.
You hear a rapid beeping and to your left you see a man holding a device, red lines blaring as it goes off. You realize it is Trask, recognizing him from the papers.
You walk up, and before he can probably comprehend what is happening, you snatch the device from his hand. âIâll take thisâ
You arenât scared of him but you back away slowly, ensuring he cannot do anything behind your back. You hear another thump, and turn to see Logan against the wall breathing heavy with eyes screwed tight.
âLogan,â you speak up, walking towards him, but with a few steps in you feel a rush of pain to your head.
You collapse onto the floor, hands holding your head as you start to shake. The pain is sharp and static, forming at the base of your neck and wrapping around your head suffocatingly. You can hear someone calling your name, but it sounds distant.Â
âErikâŚâ you hear the fear in Ravenâs voice, and with all you can muster you look to see Erik holding a gun. The same one Raven had to kill Trask, now pointed at her head.
Your brain isnât comprehending anything Erik is saying, but his face is stone cold. Any hope that you were missing something was lost because you knew what he was going to do. It doesnât take a clear head to see that.
You try to put your hand up, attempting to stop Erik in his tracks. The second your fingers touch his ankle, he kicks it off and places his foot on your wrist. You moan in pain, his weight pressing down enough to bruise.
âIâm sorry, my dear. Iâm afraid you are out of commission.â Erik says calmly without taking a peep at you.
Everything happens in slow motion. The pressure is off your wrist, a gun shot sounds, and glass shatters. Your vision is blurry, your head feeling as if itâll pop off. The people in your vision blur together like paint bleeding in water. Voices are muddled and slow, but loud. You are in agony, and you just want everything to stop.
You start to hear more noise from the other side of the room, and you see Loganâs blurred silhouette on the floor with his back against the wall. His hands clenched in his lap with claws out, breathing rapidly like someone would when they are having a panic attack. You grunt, pushing yourself up on your hands and knees with your jaw clenching tightly as the pain spikes. You crawl towards him with intent, and all you can think is Logan helped you when you were growing weak. He needs someone, and you will help him. Even if it fucking kills you.Â
âLogan, please say something,â you grit through your teeth, biting back against the strong pulse in your head.
He is unresponsive, and your own panic rises. You both canât be down, not now. The fate of the world is happening at this very moment, and you arenât going to let this new ailment weaken you. You grab his left hand, being careful not to freak him out, and quickly change to have a grip on his wrists. You position yourself so youâre hovering over him, knees on either side of his thighs. His eyes are closed shut, his head shaking. It seemed like he was having a nightmare while still being awake.
âLogan, can you hear me?â You say with fast breaths, your head only getting worse, but still there is no response.
Fuck, I have to do something.Â
You decide to think fast. Maybe, just maybe, you can stop his internal clock, keeping him in place until you can figure out how to get him out of this. You are a little afraid to do it in his current state, not knowing if he will react before everything settles in, but you have no choice. Not unless you want him to cave in on himself. You will stay in pain if it means helping him.
âI got you, Logan. I got you,â you whisper with a tremor and put your hands to his temples, letting your power weasel its way through his mind. Your head clears instantaneously, the throbbing ebb dissipating, causing a sigh of relief to wash over you. However, that relief takes a turn into something startling.
You arenât sure whatâs happening. Logan wasnât freezing like you were anticipating, but something else was occurring. Your power feels different, like it was searching for something. Whatever you were doing, it seemed to be working. His breathing had slowed down, his claws retracted, and his body became lax against the wall.Â
The oddest part of all of this though is that you can see everything. Itâs like your mind has become a VCR, and a VHS tape of his best memories has been inserted. Itâs kind of nice to witness, seeing that even with all heâs gone through, things got better. However, the next thing you see makes your heart stop.
Everything is subdued, but you can tell he is outside on the lawn of Charlesâs mansion. Itâs bright out, and you see trees. You see young children running around playing, some using their mutations to get the upper hand in their games. And then he shifts, his eyes going to his side to see a figure beside him. His hand reaches out to them and the image clears.Â
Itâs you. Holy shit, itâs you!
You looked older. Not by much but maybe by a few years. The way youâre presented is more mature, but still has that edge. You honestly liked it, and liked the idea of who you would become.
His hand goes to your face, stroking the skin of your cheek and you watch as both of your hands go to the one lingering. You pressed a kiss to his palm, eyes closing and staying that way until you open them and pull your lips away.
âI didnât know you had come home.â You said, but it was playful.Â
âGot back early this morning. Didnât want to wake you.â
âYou can always wake me up, Logan. I missed you so much.âÂ
âYou have no idea how much I missed you, sweetheart.â
You watch his arms pull you in, but before you watch it happen your mind forces itself away. You feel tears dotting your face. And from the looks of it, Logan had tears on his face too.Â
What was all that?
âIs he okay?â You hear Charles coming from behind you, a slight edge to his voice.
âI-I got him,â you stutter, shock still in your system. âYou and Hank stop Erik.â
Thereâs no response except for feet pacing away and out the door. You look around and see everyone is gone, most likely getting out during the chaos. You hear a grunt, and turn to see Loganâs eyebrows scrunched up. His lips are quivering, and he is starting to shake again. When you see more teardrops form, you let go of him.
âShit, I overdid it,â you say under your breath, even though you have zero clue on what you did.
His eyes shoot open, causing you to almost jump off of him if it werenât for him pulling you back to him. His hands are on your face, thumbs pressing into your cheeks like he doesnât know if you are really here or not. He says your name softly, a hint of disbelief in his tone.
âLogan, are you okay?â You say, hands going to his wrists to steady yourself. In that instance he pulls you in, gripping you tightly in his hold and rocking back and forth with you.Â
âOh God, youâre alive. Fuck I thought I lost you.â You hear the pain in his voice, but it confuses you.
âLogan, Iâm right here. Iâm okay,â you reassure, arms wrapping around his head. You try to comfort him, but he just grips you harder.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says but itâs muffled with his face buried in your neck. âIâm so sorry I wasnât there to protect you.â
There is a dampness from his tears, along with the feel of his lips on your skin. His kisses are bruising, like he is trying to convince himself. You, on the other hand, are experiencing so much. You donât know Logan, but it is very apparent he knows you. He says you two were close friends, but the more he continues to kiss your neck, the more you think there is something else he isnât telling you. You can take a pretty good guess to what that is.
You are starting to think youâre going to be in this position forever, until you hear footsteps enter the room.Â
âWe need to get ou-â you can hear that itâs Charles. âWhatâs going on?â
Your mouth opens to say something but shuts when nothing comes out. You donât know what to say and you donât want to say anything that may set Logan into another fit of unrest.Â
âCharles, go pull the car around discreetly. Make sure you have Hank. We will be down shortly.âÂ
Once again, Charles leaves with no response. You turn your attention back to Logan, who is still weeping against you. You keep holding him tightly, thinking about how you are going to get him up to leave. As luck would have it, however, it is like something snaps back inside him because next thing you know you are being pushed away.
âWhat are you doing?âÂ
You quickly hop off of him, standing up in the process to provide some distance. You observe him, and see the shift back to how he was before he started to spiral. Still, there is something wild in his eyes, and you have yet to determine if thatâs a good or a bad sign.
âOh thank God,â you sigh in relief. âYou had me worried for a second.â
He groans, rubbing his head as he gets his bearings. You should wait to ask; you really should. But you need to know what he saw, and more specifically if he saw what you had seen.
âWhat happened? What did you see?âÂ
âI saw someone that is going to bring me a lot of pain one day.â Logan looks to the side, and you follow his gaze to where that military man once was.Â
âI also sawâŚâ he starts, only to look around and notice you two are the only ones in there. âWhere is everyone? Whereâs Raven?â
âSheâs⌠sheâs gone.â
âWhat?â His head snaps to you, eyes blown wide.
You look down, a sigh leaving your lips at todayâs turn of events. You feel the room shift, a tension building that feels foreign to you. You feel guilty, even though you know you shouldnât, but you feel like youâve failed him. He is here to fix things, and now no one has a clue if what happened will make things better or worse. From how he is reacting, it can only be the latter.Â
âWe need to leave.â Logan mutters, already walking towards the exit. âLetâs go.â
He isnât looking at you but waits for you to move. You nod, even though there is no recognition to come, and you walk ahead with him trailing behind you.
Yep, definitely the latter.
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY
The trip back felt like it had taken years off your lifespan, the stress that had surrounded the jet almost unbearable. Everyone had feelings of failure and guilt, as it took no telepath to see that, but what made things worse was how much Logan was distancing himself.
You had thought after what happened you would get to know more, but there was none of that, not even a word. Itâs like you had burned him with the way he kept his distance. Even on the jet, a space with little room, he stayed far. You had purposely moved closer, and he made an excuse to get up only to sit at the opposite end of the jet. It upset you, and you hate that it did. You shouldnât feel anything about him, yet after that stupid memory you saw, you do. How could you not?
You didnât realize it at the time, but feeling how far he is from you makes your body ache in a way thatâs unfamiliar. The way your body had felt against his, how solid he was, had you yearning. The way he had held you like you were the most precious thing he possessed had you wanting. If you are interpreting his memory correctly, then why is he holding you from such a distance?
Does he feel like it would be cheating? You know thatâs you but that isnât you now. You are different but how different? Different enough to warrant him to see you as a completely different person?
To be fair, you donât know his past or even his future, but your heart is starting to want to go where he is. Itâs like there is a red string connected between you two that stretches far and wide. You canât help but think you harbor these feelings because no matter what, you were destined to be with him and he was destined for you. Nothing can cut that string, but it can stretch tightly and that string is losing its thread.
Currently, you are sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting for someone to come out of Charlesâs room. Logan and Hank had taken him there, his legs having given out and his mind going off the rails as the effects of his medicine wear off. You chose to distance yourself so as to not overcrowd.
You could hear them talking, sometimes with voices raising and then going soft again. You couldnât make out what they were discussing, only hearing certain words that have no meaning without context. It isnât until you hear the door click open that you stand, seeing Hank leaving the room quickly followed by Logan.Â
âIs he okay?â You ask, watching Hank come towards you fast.
âHeâs going to try and find Raven using Cerebro.â He says walking fast past you down the stairs. âGetting his wheelchair!â
Logan follows him, not glancing at you or saying a word causing you to frown. You are hot on his heels, having more questions desperate for answers.
âLogan, is he going to be alright?âÂ
âYep, just fine. Hank and I will be right beside him.â Logan says curtly, walking towards Charlesâs old office.
âWhat about me?â You ask, but it falls on deaf ears as he starts to look for something.
âLogan.â You were starting to get frustrated. What the fuck is his problem?
He finally finds what heâs looking for, and you see him slam a phone book onto the desk. He is flipping through it just a touch too aggressive, pages cringing as he flips the pages. He then stops and puts his finger down on a number before picking up the phone and clocking in the digits.
âSeriously, Logan. Who could you possibly be calling?â You ask him, only to get fucking pissed at his next few words.
âI need a cab for 1407 Graymalkin Lane-â
âWhat the hell are you doing?!â You storm towards him, getting more irritated by the second.
âCalling you a taxi. You are going home.â Logan growls out, about to continue speaking before you snatch the phone from him and slam it back down.Â
âLike hell I am!â You yell. âJust as I told you a couple days ago, I am not going anywhere. You all need me.âÂ
He slams his hands down against the table, making you jump back. âListen here, princess. I donât care how much you think we need you because it doesnât fucking matter. We need to focus. I need to focus. I cannot do that with you here, so you are going to take a cab back to New York City. Do you understand?â
The daggers in his eyes are sharp, trying to make you give in to his demands. You know better and you can see right through him. âIs this about what happened in Paris?â
He scoffs, turning away from you to walk away. âIt was nothing you need to worry about. Just saw someone that is going to make my life hell. I am fine.â
âThat isnât what I am talking about. When I was trying to calm you down, I saw something.â You say, and it stops him in his tracks.
âWhat do you mean you saw something?â He turns, facing you. âWhat could you have possibly seen?âÂ
âI was trying to stop your panic attack by stopping the conception of time in your brain, but I did something else. Something I didnât know I could do.â You explain, and his face softens from anger to confusion.
âI think I somehow moved your consciousness forward in time,â you continued. âI was able to see where I was moving it. It was how I was able to get you to settle down.â
He is in front of you instantly, hands on your shoulders in a tight grip. âWhat did you see?â
âI saw myself through your eyes.â You breathed out. âWe were out on the lawn behind the mansion.â
âWhat else did you see?â Logan shakes you a little, causing you to squeak. He is starting to scare you a little bit; the way he is behaving is very irrational.
âThat was all I saw, I swear.â You say honestly.Â
Logan sighs deeply, tilting his head back with eyes closed. He lets go of you, taking steps back until heâs against the wall. You are growing worried with how he is acting. You wish he would just tell you everything. Tell you what you two really were. Tell you what is running through his head. Tell you what is scaring him so badly. Seeing him so vulnerable has shaken you, but you canât back down.
âWe werenât just friends,â you whisper. âWe were far more, werenât we?â
Loganâs breath hitches, and his mouth opens to speak but no words come.Â
âIt explains everything. The way youâve been acting since we met. I can see the longing in your eyes. I can see it in the way you look after me. What I donât understand is why you didnât tell me.â
âIt doesnât matter.â Logan laughs but it isn't playful. It sounds like a laugh that comes to cover the hurt and is full of self-pity.
âIt matters to me!â You lament. âI want to know why.â
âListen,â Logans says, his tone becoming solemn. âWhatever I say or do here affects the future as we know it. Me even being in the same vicinity as you these last few days has made everything extremely difficult for me. If say or do one thing wrong, thatâs it. The future I have with you ceases to exist and you cease to exist.â
âWhat do you mean I cease to exist?â You ask, taken aback by his confession.
Loganâs face pales, quickly turning to go back up the stairs. âFuck, Iâve said to much.â
Your hand grabs his, yanking him back enough to keep him still. âLogan, what do you mean I cease to exist?â
Both of your emotions are running high, bubbling to the point of overflow; the edge you both were teetering on, about to fall over. You shouldnât push it, but rationality is no longer home; only frustration.
âLogan, I swear to God if you donât tell me what the fuck it is you mean I-â
âYou die in the future! Is that what you want to hear?â Logan shouts, and everything goes quiet.
You are stunned. âWhat?â
âYou die during the first few Sentinel attacks.â Logan rips his hand away like heâs having an adverse reaction.
âSo,â you start, not knowing where you want to go with this question. âSo youâre afraid Iâm sealing my fate by being here?â
âIâm afraid I once again wonât be able to save you.â Logan says with a pained expression.Â
âYou donât need to worry about me. If something happens, I can just shift time back and we can prevent it.â
âGod, you are still so stubborn,â he heaves. He is now face level with you on the steps, and he takes your face in his hands.Â
âYou donât understand how hard it is for me to stay away. The first time I saw you at the nightclub, all I wanted to do was pull you into me. It is taking everything in me not to hold you like I want to. To kiss you, to love you. But the more I let you in, the more I am close to giving in. I will not divulge my desires at the risk of everyone that is counting on me, especially you.â
You can see his torment, and all you want is to comfort him. You want to kiss him so bad. You want to pull him by his shirt and never let him go. You understand his love for you, but you want him to understand that you would go to end with him, no matter what.Â
Your hands go to his wrists, keeping his hands in place. âHave you considered that you coming back here and me being here with you was meant to happen? What if me being here helping you all saves me? What if it extends our lifetime together?â
He doesnât say anything, but the way he is looking at you makes you weep. His lip quivers, his eyes start to shine, and his jaw is clenching hard enough to break teeth. Your hands slither up his arms to his shoulders. You feel magnetized, your face inching closer to his to see if he will have a change of heart. You are close enough to feel his breath shutter against your lips, and your heart is beating so fast you are sure he can hear it. You feel slight contact, a ghost of a kiss before full impact, but it never comes.
âLogan!â Charles yells from upstairs. âWe are getting ready to go.â
Logan is quick to pull away, sending a wave of hurt towards you. He breathes out a stuttered breath before yelling a response and heading upstairs, but before he goes up he turns his head towards you. âThere is money on Charles's desk. Please leave while you have the chance.â
He goes upstairs not looking back and you watch as he disappears from your view. You stand there for a while, deep in thought as you weigh your options, but you knew what you were going to do. Even though Logan was afraid, and rightfully so, you had a gut feeling everything would turn itself around.
So, with heavy steps, you walk up the stairs and down the hall, picking the second to last room on the right. It is barren aside from a bed and a dresser, and seeing the bed made you realize how exhausted the day's events have made you. You shut the door, and flop onto the bed, letting sleep take over and dreams manifest.
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY; Four Hours Later
20 Text Messages.
10 Missed Calls.
3 Voice Messages.
Voice Message 1: Hey baby, just calling you to tell you goodnight. Donât worry about waking me when you get home. I wanna see you as soon as you get in. Get back safely. I love you.
Voice Message 2: Logan, something is wrong. There are a bunch aircrafts above the mansion. Not sure what is happening. Myself and the others are getting the kids together. Iâd rather be safe than sorry. Please be cautious when you get home. I love you.
Voice Message 3: Logan. Logan! Whatever you do, please do not come to the mansion! Itâs under attack! Those Sentinels are here and- oh God Logan itâs a slaughter. Please do not come! Iâll find you once Iâm safe. I love you!
Logan is running like hell to the mansion, and he can see them. They swarm the building like flies, crawling along the brick. There are fires, giant gaping holes in the wall, and bodies⌠so many bodies.
He gets in, staying close to the wall as he listens. He can hear the Sentinel bodies grind and creak as they move, hunting down any mutant that hasnât been vanquished. He sniffs deeply, trying to find you in the building. He hopes you made it out already, but that hope is lost when he gets a strong whiff of you and blood.
So much blood.
He enters the foyer, and dead center he sees your body, a hole pierced into your stomach. He sees your mouth open, trying to breath but your chest stammers as it goes down.Â
No. No, no, no!
He is at your side, pulling you into his arms. He cradles your head, his hand going to the hand holding your wound. Your eyes are slitted, a dazed look looking right back at him. Itâs haunting how dull you are starting to look, and every second adds to his panic.
âBaby, Iâm here. Iâm here.â
Your free hand, the one not stained in your own blood, clutches onto his shirt. You pulled on it so lightly, strength slowly fading away.Â
âI told you not to come,â you whimpered. âItâs not safe here.â
âI wasnât about to leave you here to deal with this alone. We gotta get you out of here.â
âNo, you do.âÂ
âDonât say that,â he said sternly. âYou are coming with me.â
He lets go to take his belt and shirt off. Balling up the shirt, he moves your hand to put the fabric against your stomach.Â
âFuck!â You screamed.
âIâm so sorry, baby. Bear with me, please.â
He is crying, holding his sobs in as tears break over the dam. He takes his belt and wraps it around your torso, keeping the pressure so more blood doesnât come out. There is already so much around you.Â
âIâm gonna lift you up, okay?âÂ
He wraps your arms around his neck, getting a grip under your legs and your back before lifting you up.Â
âI got you. I got you.â
He starts walking back from where he came, but he wasnât so lucky this time. He sees them on the ground, making their way up from where he entered. He turns quickly, thinking the only other way out is through the tunnels.
He hits the secret door, and just as it opens he hears one coming their way. He shoves you both through, getting it shut before he starts making his way down. He is making multiple turns, his mind spinning in a haze as he goes to find the exit. He feels your breathing slow, and for the first time in a long time he is scared. You are everything. Without you, he is nothing.
He makes one final turn, the exit at the end, but he halts in his spot. All he sees is carnage. There is blood on the walls, bodies of students, and marks from where their gifts were used. The exit door had been beaten down, the walls cracked and gone along with it.Â
âGood GodâŚâ He shouldnât have come down here.
He turns to go back, but from the shadows comes one of them. It blends in with the concrete, and makes itself known once itâs in reach. Its arm shifts into something sharp, and once formed it draws down to where he stands, but just as quickly he dodges with you in his arms.
âWeâre not dying today, bub.â
He starts to run like hell towards the exit, only to see another one pop up at the opening. He takes a sharp turn, getting the runaround to make it back to the entrance. Itâs a maze of turns, feeling like itâll take an eternity to get to safety, but with one final turn he has it.
And then he doesnât.
Rubble had fallen from the flooring above and made its way down creating a massive blockage. Itâs a fucking dead end.
The two Sentinels approach, both opening their mouths to burn you two alive. He crouches down with his back facing them, preparing to take anything they give him. He will suffer. Good God, he will suffer. But if he can fake them out enough to leave, you will be safe. Thatâs all that matters.
But the pain never comes.Â
âLogan.â
He looks down to see you holding your arms out, and his eyes widen when he realizes you are using your powers. He turns to see the Sentinels, but they are still moving. Just incredibly slow.
âLogan, you need to leave.â
He turns back to you, and sees your body shaking. The work he had put into keeping the blood from spilling was fatal. You were hemorrhaging.Â
âIâm not leaving you here. I wonât do it.â
You let out a pitiful cry, your tears streaming down your cheeks. He can see his too as they mix with yours.
âThere is no saving me. Let me save you, please.â
âBaby, I-â
âDo not let me die in vain, Logan. They need you.â
âBut I need you!â
âI know, and Iâm sorry I canât give you what you need. Itâs selfish, I know.â
âYouâre damn right it is.â
âBut please, let me be selfish. Let me save you.â
He can start to feel the heat, the Sentinels mouths setting wide enough to set this tunnel ablaze. Everything is telling him to stay, but the way you are looking at him breaks him and it makes him cave.
He can never say no to you.
âGo. Find the others. Make sure they are safe. God, please make sure they are safe.â
âI love you, sweetheart,â Logan chokes, holding you just a little tighter. âIâm so sorry.â
âI am too.â
He kisses you. Itâs soft yet full of sorrow. Itâs a kiss of death, he knows it.Â
âIâll see you in the next life.â
You smiled at that. Itâll be the last smile he sees from you. âGo quickly. I canât hold on much longer, Logan.â
He lets go, gently setting you down, before he runs past the Sentinels and makes his way back to the exit. The second he was out of sight, he heard it. The roar of the flames, the mechanical sounds from their armor, and your screams.
All he can hear is your screaming.
Your screams.
You are fucking screaming.
Logan shoots up from the bed, a yell cutting off from his lips as he enters consciousness. He is breathing rapidly, swallowing nonexistent spit as he works to pull himself together. His claws were all the way out, a common side effect of his trauma response. He feels how cool the air is in the room due to the sweat that coated his body.Â
He didnât think he could dream in this current state. He hasnât had that dream in a while, even though he wishes it was simply that. He used to have it so often, a constant reminder that he failed you and let you suffer just so he could get away. Having to relive the worst day of his life over and over is his own form of hell.
He hears a knock at the door, startling him from his state of being.Â
âLogan?âÂ
He freezes up, knowing that voice from anywhere. He really doesnât want you in here, not with him like this. Not with him feeling so exposed.Â
âIâm fine!â He calls out, hoping you would take the hint, but he knows better.
He watches the door open and you appear. You are still in your beat up clothes, leather jacket and dirty shoes forgotten. Nothing has changed, but you look even more beautiful than you have since heâs gotten here. Maybe itâs because his senses are heightened. Maybe itâs the way the floodlights from outside shine on you in contrast with the dark room. Simply, maybe it is just you.
âI thought I told you to leave.â He says, trying to sound annoyed, but failing miserably.
âYeah, and I told you I wasnât going to let grown men tell me what to do.â You responded, shutting the door behind you.Â
âHmph,â he groused, looking down at his hands as his claws sink back into his flesh.
He hears you get closer, feet pattering against the wooden floors. âI could hear you in your sleep. I wanted to make sure you were okay.â
âYeah, Iâm okay.â But am I really? âJust a nightmare.â
He looks out the window, the night in full effect. The bed dips, and he looks to see you sitting down at the end. He sees it in your face that you donât believe him, which isnât surprising. Youâve always been able to read him no matter the circumstances.Â
âDid you want to talk about it?â
âNo,â he says quickly. He doesnât want to relive it twice in one night.
âOkay, okay,â you say calmly. âTell me what I can do for you.â
Please stay, so I know this is real.Â
Thatâs what he wants to say, but he feels like he will choke. His silence is deafening, so much so he sees your face twist in reaction.Â
âIf you want to be alone, I understand.â You got up from the bed. âGoodnight, Logan.â
There was a time when he didnât need to be strong or to carry the weight of others. With you as his anchor, he could be exposed. He has had to be strong for so long in recent years, but with you right here in front of him, he feels himself caving. So many emotions are rushing to his head, a battle between the Devil and God raging. He knows itâs wrong to interfere with the past, especially when there are consequences, but after tonight his sanity is slipping. Before he knows it, his hand grabs your arm to keep you from taking another step.
âStay,â he whispers, a hint of a crack that is only noticed by him. âPlease.â
âOkay,â you say with ease. âWhere do you want me?â
The angel on his shoulder is telling him to not give in, yet the little, conniving demon on the other side is telling him what he wants to hear. He wants you close; needs you close.
âWill you let me hold you?âÂ
He thought there may be some hesitation, but there is none. You walk back over to the bed, and he lays back as you climb onto it. His arm is out to invite you in, and you situate yourself to him. Your left arm is cradled into your chest and your right curls so your hand is where his heart is. Your head settles where his right arm and shoulder connect.
âIs this okay?âÂ
Itâs more than okay. âYes, thank you.â
You both lay there for a while, and he lets his senses completely take over. The first thing he senses is your smell. There is something so sugary sweet about your scent. He equates it closely to something heâd smell in a candy shop with housemade confections. Itâs intoxicating, and makes him hungry.Â
You fit into his arms just right. The skin from your cheek laying on his exposed shoulder brings a comfort he hasnât had in so long. It made him realize how touch-starved heâs been. He hasnât touched another woman since your passing, and the thought of doing so makes his stomach turn. He only wants to feel you against him, in every sense of the word.Â
The most shocking thing for him is to hear how calm you sound. Your breathing is deep and slow. Your heartbeat is sounding its soothing rhythm under your ribcage. Itâs the opposite of how his heart was reacting; hard and fast pumps of blood rushing. He feels your hand rubbing circles over his heart, and he wonders if you can tell how much you are affecting him.Â
âTell me something about me from the future.â
Logan looks down at you, and you look so peaceful as you lay with him. Does he do this to you?
âWhat do you want to know?âÂ
âAnything. Something good.â
There are so many good things about you. Itâs hard to divulge into just one thing, but even then he knows where to start.
âYou teach music at the school.â
You perked your head up at this. âI teach?â
âMhmm,â he hums, smiling to himself. âYou do a lot of the extracurricular activities for the younger ones, but music is one you do a lot of. Youâre really good with kids.â
You move your body, hands on top of one another on his chest. Your head lays on them, looking at him with a smile that makes his heart beat faster.Â
âSounds like Iâve become a lot more patient in the future.â
âTrust me,â Logan chuckles. âYou are still quite stubborn, but you are different with them.â
Logan loved seeing you with the kids. He remembers how nervous you were to teach the younger students, but he knew you would do well. Seeing how you interacted with them during class, how you encouraged them and gave them the will to work hard. So many of the kids came from families who despised who they were. You became a mother-figure to a lot of them.
He thinks about the time he woke up to kids laughing and looked out the window to see you running around with them. You were carrying on with them, laughing with them, looking at them with care and love. It was the moment he realized he would love to start a family with you. Watch you grow with his child, see you love them like you love the kids at school. It makes his heart twist.
âDid they like me?â
âOh, sweetheart. They loved you.â Loved. God, you were so loved by them.
âCan I ask something?â You ask.
âAnything.â He can feel himself getting lost in you, his hand subconsciously caressing your hair.Â
âWhat I did in Paris,â you start. âYou seemed genuinely confused when I explained what I did earlier. Was that something I couldnât do in the future?â
When you told him you brought his memories to the forefront of his mind, shifting time in his brain, he was shocked. Your mutation is special, and the control you had over it is simply astounding. He isnât surprised that your powers can do more than what was discovered originally, but it now begged the question: what triggered it and why now?
âNo,â Logan says with the shake of his head. âWhat do you think caused it?â
âLogan, I think you did.â He hears you hesitate.
âWhat do you mean?â
He watches as you sit up, crossing your legs. Your hands grab his right hand, thumbs pushing into his skin right where his mutated bones come out. It is strange how different you are acting in comparison to the last few days. You are acting like the you he gets to know later, the edge in your attitude completely gone. Maybe this is who you are or maybe⌠you are only this way with him.
âSo, the day we met, earlier that day, I saw you come out of the Algonquin.â
He sits up at this, heart picking up more. âYou were there?â
âI pulled over because I started to get a terrible migraine. It was so bad I thought I was having a stroke or something, but then it stopped like it was never there. Next thing I know, I see you and I can't look away. I felt like I knew you and I didnât know why.â
âHas it happened more than once? The migraines?â Logan is pulled into your direction, back hunching slightly to get closer even when he doesnât realize it.
âIt happened again at Maxâs when you introduced yourself.â
His eyes widen, the pieces coming together. âThatâs why you looked like you were in pain.âÂ
âI chalked it up to having drank too much,â you huffed out a laugh. âIt didnât make sense at the time, but after Paris I canât shake the feeling.â
âSo what are you saying? That I opened your mind?âÂ
âIf I didnât have access to this part of my mutation from the future you are from, what if that means this was all meant to happen?â You brought his hand to your chest where your heart lies and he can feel directly where your heart beats.
Where it beats for him.
âI wasnât even the one meant to come here,â Logan says in denial. âIt was supposed to be Charles.â
âBut what if it wasnât?â You grip his hand harder, pushing it further against you. âWhat if you were meant to find me to make things right? To save everyone. To save us. Maybe this is fate trying to tell you something.â
He is becoming weak. Your words are so honest and it is taking nothing to believe you. Maybe you are right, maybe you are wrong. You havenât seen the bloodbath the future becomes, but maybe you donât need to have seen to know. Your words, your reasoning; both make his resolve crack and there isnât much left. Having you here in front of him, being so reassuring and confident, he isnât going to last.Â
âWhat are you thinking right now, Logan?â You ask gently, and if he is seeing things correctly, he sees how much you want him to give in. And thatâs all he needs.
âIâm thinking about how much I want to kiss you right now.â
His hand on your chest is pulled lower, down to your left breast where you curl your fingers over his to squeeze the flesh. âThen do it.â
To say the dam has broken would be an understatement. The dam has vaporized, mass flooding reaching the heavens. Those three words were enough for him to snatch you into his arms, pull you on top of him, and get his lips onto yours. He has your thighs on either side of his own, holding you so close that your crotch is pressed tightly against his. Your hands are holding onto his shoulders with nails digging into his skin, and fuck he loves it.
His hands are all over you; going from your hips to your ass to the small of your back to your head. He wants to touch every part of you and memorize every inch of your skin. His fingers bundle up the bottom of your top, pushing it up with his fingertips to let his palms glide along your waist. You gasped against his lips, giving him the opportunity to let his tongue fondle yours.Â
He unclasps your bra as his hands reach the middle of your back, giving him the chance to take both items of clothing off your body. He pulls away from you, back leaning against the headboard as he takes you in. Your body is just as he remembered it, and he could weep at how stunning you are.
âDo I look okay?â There is a hint of uncertainty in your voice, and it sends his hands to gently bring your face down to him.
âYou are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on.â His eyes bore into yours as he tells you, needing you to know how much he means it.Â
Before he can say anything else, your lips are back on his. He lets you take the lead, your tongue leading him in a dance. It gives him the opportunity to focus his hands on your breasts. You whimper against his mouth and he feels you push your chest into his palms as he massages them, which causes a little smirk to form at the corner of his mouth. You had always loved when he played with them as it turned you on like nothing else.Â
âGood to know your tits have always been so sensitive,â he murmurs against your lips, thumb and pointer fingers going to pinch the puckered buds.
A high-pitched moan is pulled from you, your hips involuntary grinding against him in response. Your lips let go of his, and they end up going to his cheek. âI guess you know how to get me going, donât you?â
âOh baby, I know your body like the back of my hand,â he hums with a rumble. He can play your body like an instrument, the song being your sweet noises. He is going to show you just how well he makes you sing.
He is quick to flip you over, removing his white wife pleaser in the process before his hands go to your jeans. He yanks them down with your panties and you help kick them off before he tosses them aside. He goes to take his own off, stripping everything away until he is as naked as you are.Â
He crawls up to you, moving your thighs over his hips. His hands reach under your back and he pulls you into his lap. Your legs wrapped around him, and he groans as your wet cunt sits against his cock. His left arm stays wrapped around you, and his right hand holds the back of your head with fingers at the roots of your hair. Your hips start grinding up onto his erection, mewls so sweet that he canât help but consume them.
He pulls your head to the side by your hair gently, tugging just enough to get a reaction from you. Your eyes flutter, and he hums as he lets his lips ghost over your ear.Â
âI have every little spot of yours memorized,â he kisses behind your ear, his tongue peeking out for a little lick before kissing in the same spot. âEven if you think you know what they are, just know I know all of them.â
âFuck, Logan,â you say with a shiver, making your body press further into the heat he is projecting.Â
âMmm thatâs right.â His lips go down to the underside of your jaw where your pulse is, kissing it gingerly to prepare you for his next act. âKeep that up.â
He bites down slowly on the crevice, letting his teeth sink in far enough to leave his mark. Your hands are on his head, cooing softly at the distinct pressure. He releases, licking the indents he left in your skin to soothe the ache.Â
âYou sound so pretty, baby,â he murmurs. âLet me see if you know this one.â
His mouth trails down, sucking marks into your skin until he gets down to your sternum. His back hunches down, leaning you back to get the angle just right. He sets his tongue to work, letting the tip trail a stripe up until he reaches the notch between your collarbones. A little gasp followed by a hushed curse falls from your lips. The sensation causes you to squirm in his lap and it makes his dick twitch against your folds. Logan isnât a patient man in most regards, but he could spend an eternity exploring your body. Your reactions fuel him and they send blood right down to his cock.Â
âDidnât know about that spot, did you?âÂ
âNo, ah!â Logan pulls another gasp from you as he nibbles around the edges. âGetting me addicted to you early, arenât you?â
âThatâs right, angel.â Logan canât help himself, thrusting his hips up a little to let his length rub into your pussy; so wet and so good. âIâll have you yearning for me for decades to come.â
As he proceeds the motion of his hips, tightening his hold on you, he allows his right hand to come up to your left breast. With his tongue and cock being a distraction, he pulls at your taut nipple at the same time his teeth bite down on your collarbone. You cry out his name, his hair being fisted and pulled. He canât help the wanton moan that spills out, riling him up to no end.Â
Your breast feels so at home in his hand, but looking at how pretty your nipples look, flushed from his treatment, he gets a craving. His tongue makes a path down, making its way to the left and up until it slithers to your erected bud. His mouth latches, encircling the peak as he sucks earnestly. He continues rutting into you, feeling his and your fluids coating his appendage.Â
Logan feels himself becoming drunk. With you in his arms reciprocating his intentions, itâs like he is weightless. Something deep in his scarred heart is healing. Years of trauma from seeing and experiencing the unthinkable transform into the better things in life. He thinks of the future he could have with you. A future where you take his last name. A future where you two live in a little home decorated however you choose. A future with your belly big with his kid, where he can kiss your stomach every morning and every night. A future where you and him raise a child. He wants that. He wants that so bad.Â
In his drunken haze, he feels one of your hands leave his head. Your fingertips send his nerves alight as they trail down his arm. You are tracing the veins that are bulging out, and he grunts as they go over to his chest. He has switched to your other breast, and as he starts, he feels your palm against his cock. You are pushing it more into your cunt, thumb running over his fat tip as you rub it.Â
âFuck,â he curses with a pop. âYou are such a greedy girl.â
âWhat can I say?â You jest. âI know what I want.â
âAnd what would that be, sugar?â He thrusts against you, cockhead rubbing up and down your clit.Â
You smiled at him, and your other hand goes from his head to his jaw. Fingers slightly scratching his beard with your thumb on his bottom lip, you lean back into him with knees shifting. They are on either side of him now and his tip is being lined up against your hole. Your eyes seek out his, and he canât look away as he admires you. You are beautiful, an angel sent down for him. Every version of you is perfect, and for every version of you he will sacrifice everything.
âI want you to make love to me,â you say with a shuttered breath. âShow me how you love me. Show me what I have to look forward to.â
Loganâs tip is enveloped by your heat by the time you finish, and your words were the full confirmation he needed to seat you fully onto his shaft.Â
Itâs like gasping for air with how intense his reunion with you feels. You fit perfectly around him. Itâs almost too good to be true. Part of him is wondering if he is still dreaming, but with how warm and snug you are, it has to be real. This has to be happening.
You lift your hips until all thatâs connected is the head before dropping back down. His cock glides right in and he grunts as you work yourself on him. He guides your movements with his hands, both on your plush ass and giving a squeeze with every bounce. Your arms have since wrapped around his neck, head hiding in his neck. Your hot breath fans across his skin, your teeth nipping at him every time he fills you up.Â
He loves how you are taking what you need, letting you keep the pace to get used to his size. Normally during an intimacy session, he would prepare you more thoroughly. Heâd pleasure you with his mouth, letting his spit coated tongue lubricate your pretty pussy. Heâd finger you open, getting you nice and relaxed for his heavy cock. He would add another when your little noises got rowdier, a tell-tale sign that you needed more. He did everything to ensure you were ready for him, the enjoyment of your pleasure and taste a perk in the endeavor. With how you are riding him, however, it feels like you are preparing him. Taking it slow, letting him savor you, letting him know that this is real and you are his.Â
âYou feel incredible, Lo,â you whimper into his neck. He just about mimics you after hearing you call him by that little nickname.
âI can say the same to you, pretty girl.â He lifts your head by your hair, putting your forehead to his as he rocks up into you. âTaking my cock so well. You were made for me. Ainât that right?â
âMhmm,â you hum. âIâll always be yours. In every lifetime, I am yours and you are mine.â
He chokes out a laugh, completely overwhelmed with emotion. He kisses your swollen lips with ease, his tongue flicking out to savor your taste. Every moan that comes out is captured by his mouth, swallowing the sweet sounds desperately. He notices your hips start to slow, and your whining gets more consistent. He knew you were tiring, but that was okay. He has enough energy and greed to take over. You make him greedy, and he needs more.
âDid you want me to take over, baby?â
âPlease,â you mumble against his lips. âTake me.â
He doesnât need to be told twice. He shifts himself, keeping you two connected as he gets you onto your back. He situates you so your legs are wrapped around his torso, legs pushed down so your thighs are almost to your chest. The angle he has you in gives him the chance to push in just a little more, his tip putting pressure onto your cervix.Â
âOh God, you are so deep,â you mewl, clenching down on his cock causing him to groan at the grip.
âThatâs right, baby. Damn you look so beautiful like this.âÂ
âYeah? I look beautiful with your big cock in my pretty pussy?â
âFuck, you got a mouth on you.â Logan thrusts shallowly in response, a whine ripping out from your throat. âBut to answer your question, you look beautiful no matter what.â
He starts thrusting long, deep strokes into you. He lets one hand stick to your hip, and the other has a gentle grip on your jaw to keep your head in place. His thumb traces your bottom lip, and in an instant your tongue latches to it. It draws it in, getting it so your lips close around it and suck on it as your tongue lathers it. Your eyes shut, and you hum happily like you are savoring the musk from his skin. It enraptured him, making him pick up the pace, hips starting to slam against you.Â
Heâs on the cusp of his release. He doesnât want this end, not by a long shot. But tonight will become tomorrow. A new day will start where the stresses of his mission will come to light. All he can do is savor this last little bit of happiness and hope sometime soon he will wake up with you by his side.
âLo, Iâm close,â you grunt out.
He takes his soaked thumb, bringing it down to your bundle of nerves. âIâll get you there, baby. Cum whenever you are ready.â
He swirls your clit at an easy pace, a contrast to how he is slamming into you. He is battering into your pussy, hitting that spot he knows all too well. Your moans grow louder, more accustomed to his hard hitting movements. The sounds of wet slapping with moaning and grunting fill the room, and with the slightest bit of added pressure to your clit he gets you there; right where he wants you.
Your back is arching off the bed, nails finding purchase on his thighs. Your moans are breathless, the wind knocked out as he continues the fast pace of his hips. He looks down where the two of you are connected, watching the white fluid flow down between your ass and drip onto the bed. He can smell it and something snaps in his brain where he wants more.Â
He can tell you are coming down from your high, but he isnât having any of that. His length stills, fully seated in you, and starts rutting the tip against your g-spot.Â
âFuck, itâs too much,â you cry out. âLogan, please!â
âI got you, pretty girl. Just need you to cum on my cock one more time.âÂ
You nod, and he pushes his hips harder, and it isnât long before you are wailing with another release. This sets him off again, and he pulls almost fully out before pistoning his cock in and out rapidly as he prolongs your orgasm. You are wailing his name, and he can see tears falling down the sides of your eyes from how good he was making you feel. He is on top of a hill about to roll down, and before he releases, he pulls out.Â
Your legs try to shut, but his thighs prevent it. He takes two fingers and sticks them into your cunt to continue riding your release out. His other hand fists his cock over your stomach, and with a growl he is cumming in ropes. White paints your tummy until itâs pooling down into your belly button, drenching the skin and making it sheer. He is breathing heavy, orgasmic bliss fading into something more peaceful. He sees you are on the same boat, chest going up and down. It isnât until he hears a sob crash out from your lips and more tears forming that he snaps out of his daze.
âBaby, whatâs wrong?â He is urgent as he gets off the bed, getting closer to you from the side of the bed. His hands are immediately on your face, thumbs wiping away the new droplets trailing down.Â
âIâm sorry,â you choke, staggered breaths coming from you with a mixture of sobs in between. âIâm okay. It was just a lot.â
âIâm so sorry, sweetheart. I got carried away.â He goes to kiss the apples of your cheeks where the tears have stained, before standing up fully. âLet me get you cleaned, okay?â
He turns to go get a towel from the bathroom when he feels your hand wrap around his wrist, stopping him completely.Â
âIt was a lot, but in a good way.â
He goes to kneel on the ground beside the bed, hands going to yours to kiss your knuckles. âAre you sure you are okay? I wouldnât dream of hurting you,â he murmurs into your skin.Â
âLogan, I have never experienced pleasure like that before,â you say hiccuping, causing a laugh to bubble out after. âI never thought I could experience something like that with someone ever.â
It dawns on him that this is technically your first time with him, meaning once the future sets to the right course, this moment will become the first time he made love to you. His mind goes back to the very first time, both coming back from a night out with a need so deep that it was said and done too quickly. This time, he got to cherish you. He got to make your first time with him feel special and adored. It is surreal, and it is everything.Â
âWhy are you crying?â He hears you whisper, a hand escaping his grip to wipe away his own tears.
He didnât even realize it, but he didnât care. He didnât hide it. He lets you wipe them away, mirroring how he tended to yours. âIâm happy. Happier than I have been in a long time.â
He brings his head down to kiss your lips, a light peck that leads to a few more on your face. A giggle leaves your lips, and he swears his face grew more wet.Â
He looks to see the cum starting to dry on your skin, and he places one more kiss before standing up. âLet me get you cleaned up, and we can rest for a while.â
He rushes to the bathroom, steps heavy, and emerges with a warm, wet towel. He sits on the edge of the bed, taking the fabric to your heat to clean the fluids lingering. He is gentle, not wanting to rub the towel anywhere thatâs still sensitive to the touch. He kisses your knees and the inside of your thighs, the fabric now on your tummy as he wipes you clean. Your skin is cleared of any fluids, and with one last kiss to your flesh he pulls away.Â
He tosses the towel into the sink before going to the other side of the bed, pulling the sheet and comforter back to get under. He reaches over to you, pulling you into him as he adjusts the blanket from under you. He settles with you on his chest, just like you were earlier, with the bedding now over your forms. You snuggle up to him, your fingers twirling around the hair on his chest. His fingers brush through your hair, admiring the afterglow you are giving, and thinking about how lucky he is right now.
You are his baby. His life. His soul. He was miserable without you, but he didnât realize how bad off he was until now. Having you back in his arms, even for a moment, made his soul come to life. It had been rendered useless when it was severed, and now his sense of purpose is strong. The love he is feeling in this room wraps around him snuggly, and he doesnât want to leave its embrace.Â
Your left hand pokes out from in between your bodies, and his free hand goes to twiddle with the fingers. He thinks about how big his hands are compared to yours. His whole fist could cover the entirety of your hand, yet your hands are on the rougher side like his. There are some calluses from what he assumes is drumming. They form along the top of your palm where your fingers connect. He stops where your ring finger lies, and he subconsciously sighs.
He remembers how Storm had helped him find a ring for you. You had said how you would love anything he chose because it was from him. However, he wanted it to be a ring that made a statement for his love. He wanted a ring where every time you looked at it, you would know how much he adored you.Â
He thinks about how back in the future, it is still around his neck like a virtue. It makes him wonder if in the near distant future, when things become sane and good, if he will still have that ring. Will he, who may become a different man after he returns, have the guts to propose to you? He regrets so much, but that is something he regrets greatly. Not proposing before the world fell apart. Not proposing to let you know that he is ready to take the next step, and to let you know he is committed to you even past the point of death. Death do us part doesnât apply to you or him.Â
âWhatâs on your mind?â
He looks down to see you looking up at him, a smile forming on his lips as he takes you in. âJust thinking about how I could go for a cigar right now.â
You smacked his chest, making him grunt out a chuckle. âIâm guessing thatâs a common occurrence after these kinds of things.â
âThat or we go for round two,â he smirks, laughing as you smack his chest again.
âHorndog,â you mumble into his side.Â
âA horndog for you, baby.â He goes to kiss you again but then he hears rapid knocking on their door.
âAre you two decent?â Hank asks loudly from behind the door. âThis is urgent!â
âJust come in, Hank.â Logan pulls the covers further up on you, a slight possessiveness taking over as Hank comes in. Your body is for his eyes only.Â
He thought Hank may feel a little embarrassed seeing the two of you like this, but there is none of that. Hank marched over; any social cues forgotten as he sat on the edge of the bed.Â
âListen, bub, what could possibly be so urgent that you are sitting on the bed I just fucked my girl silly on?â
âLogan!â You scowl.
Hank rolls his eyes. âRaven is going to Washington. Trask is going to be at the White House tomorrow, and she plans to strike. We need to leave tonight.â
âWhat is happening at the White House?â Logan asked, sitting up on his elbows.
Hank shakes his head in a way that tells Logan it isnât for anything good. âThey are presenting the Sentinel Program tomorrow.â
âOh God,â you mutter. âTrask is already that far along? Does that mean they could be unleashed sooner?â
Logan shutters at the thought. The idea of the Sentinels starting their massacre whole decades earlier makes him uneasy. It scares him. He wonders if this means things are now going to be worse than they already were, which is hard to imagine. He doesnât want to imagine it.Â
He wishes he had more time. He doesnât know when he will get to be like this with you again. It could feel like a matter of seconds, minutes, hours, days. He could wake up to a world where you and him donât coincide. But at the end of the day, he needs to pull through for you and everyone else. His main priority is that he wakes up to a world where everyone is alive.
This is his last chance.
âAlright, weâll get up and get stuff together.â Logan says, and with that Hank gets up with a nod.
As he makes his exit, Logan starts to get up, but not before he feels your arms wrapping around his torso trying to pull him back.
âSweetheart, we need to get up,â Logan says softly, not wanting to disturb the peace in this room. Not wanting to unveil their reality.
âJust a few more minutes,â you wager. âIâll freeze time if that means I can stay like this for a few more minutes.â
He canât deny you. God, he canât. He lays back down to his original state, and before he can help himself the words are out in the open.
âI love you.â
You didnât respond, and thatâs okay. He already knows you love him too.
The White House; Washington D.C.
âYes, I am with the marine band.â
âYou are late, Sergeant. Get into position with the others.â
âYes sir!â
You move past the metal detectors, jogging towards the rest of the marine band members. There was an empty spot where the snare lies and you get into position, harness going over your shoulders. You fall into play, Stars and Stripes Forever sounding throughout the set up.
Itâs perfect really. You are in the best position to see everything. You will be able to see Trask, the President, and other high ranking officials. If things fall into complete disarray, you will shift the time backward and have a complete do over. In the meantime, the guys will look for Raven before she can strike.
It was a string of luck thanks to Charlesâs willingness to use his powers again. Hank had told you he had a change of heart, and while you had no proof of what convinced him, you had a feeling it had to do with the man who completely bared his soul to you last night.
Just the thought makes you blush. You arenât one to let someone you barely know in your bed, giving yourself to them completely. Youâve been there, done that, and it never stuck or felt right. With Logan, it felt different. There is a bond between you both thatâs inexplicably there. You have felt it from the start, and it was only confirmed after last night. The way he took care of you, made love to you; you could feel the love he felt for you and while scary to admit, you love him too.
He looks at you like you are the center of his universe. He looks at you like living isnât worth shit unless you are by his side. It pains you but only because whatever happened in his future has scarred him deep. You could feel it in the way he kissed you, and left marks on your body. He was trying to convince himself that he wasnât dreaming; that you were there.Â
You donât know what will happen after today, but what you do know is you will find him. You will find him, learn every detail about him until he is like a second skin, and love him like he deserves. You will make sure of it.
You look towards the metal detectors and see them passing through. You see Logan look in your direction, a smile shining towards you that you mirror right back. He looks you up and down, sending a wink your way before turning back to Charles and once again your face feels hot. His effect on you is absolutely outstanding.Â
You can see Charles scanning the crowd, undoubtedly looking for Raven amongst the thousands of people. You keep your eyes on him, reading his expressions as he continues lurking. You arenât sure what time it is but itâs only a matter of time before President Nixon makes his speech. Even then, that doesnât mean Raven wonât strike before that.
âI havenât found Raven yet. Be prepared.â
You felt Charles rattling in your brain. You look in his direction to see everyone looking towards you and you nod to signal the message was clear.
The conductor cuts off the song, signaling the event is about to start. You focus your attention to the stage, looking for any kind of sign of Raven. Everything seems pristine, Secret Service covered at every point.Â
âLadies and Gentlemen!â You hear someone speak through the microphone on the podium. Your attention goes to the man, someone from Nixonâs advisory team surely, standing before everyone. âIt is my utmost pleasure to welcome Mr. President Nixon!â
You see the conductor wave his baton, signaling to start playing, and quickly you are rolling your sticks once the first beat drops. You watch, trying to look in your peripherals for anything weird, before you hear a gunshot.
Your eyes snap to the stage, and you see Trask lying there with a bullet to his head. People are losing their minds, standing erratically to get away from whoever the shooter was. You drop your drumsticks, quickly snapping your fingers to stop the commotion. Everything freezes, and you take the opportunity to walk away from your post. You make observations, needing to be quick, and it doesnât take long for you to see Raven. Or at least make the assumption that itâs her.
You see she transformed into a man from the Secret Service. The gun has since been lowered and you can see two other Secret Service officials running to tackle. You walk to look at the manâs face, and it makes your lips purse slightly.
She is smiling. There is genuine joy in what she just did. Before time froze over, it was obvious she saw the other men coming to take her down, but she didnât care. You see it in her face: she won. It didnât matter what happened afterwards. She saved her kind, your kind.Â
Except she didnât, and thatâs what kills you as you look at her. Her actions kill so many, and leave so many people without their loved ones. Your future livelihood is dismantled by the Sentinels, so deep down you understand Ravenâs hatred for Trask. You hate him too, but you believe all will come to the light. Trask will get his due diligence, and hopefully itâs something worse than death.
Humiliation. Defunding his work. Life behind bars. For a man like him, death would be too easy.
You pass her, heading towards the rest of the group. You get to Loganâs side, and release a breath you didnât know you needed to release. You lift your arms up and move them down slowly. As they descend, time rolls back like itâs a moveable force. People that swarmed like ants are back in their seats, high security are back at their stations, the President makes his way back behind the stage, and Trask is back on his feet. Your hands clenched tight, holding everything in place before releasing and things continue on completely reset.
You lean down to Charles, making sure he hears you clearly. âSheâs right there to the left of the stage. Act fast.â
Charles looks in that direction, focusing with an urgency as he sets his sights on Raven. You watch the scene unfold again, and see how Raven goes to pull the gun from her jacket but she halts. You see her grow stiff, and her lips move like she is talking to someone.Â
âIâve got her,â Charles says with relief. âI can only hold her for so long.â
âYou two go get her,â Hank says as he gets behind Charles. âHe is right. Charles is still not as strong as he was before. You both need to be quick.â
You nod and the two of you start trekking over to where Raven is. The President is talking, but itâs muddled as you focus. The two of you walk slowly, but with urgency, not wanting to cause any alarm that would halt any progress. That didnât matter, however, because right as you two are on her, a Secret Service agent is in front of you both.
âIâm sorry, but this is as far as you two can go.â He has his hands raised in front of him to prevent any further steps.Â
âBehold! The world will never be the same againâŚâ The National Anthem kicks in, and you turn to see the American flag drop. What you see makes your jaw drop.Â
Eight large robots. They couldnât be more than twenty feet tall. Hell, it looks like they could stomp the average person out. The sheer size of them makes you uneasy, knowing what they can and will do makes your stomach churn.Â
âIs that what they look like?â You say quietly, your back now pressed against Loganâs front.
âThis is just the start.â Logan's right hand grabs yours, squeezing tightly. âBut we can change that.â
You squeeze back just as tight, hoping it conveys that you are with him. âLet me stop the time so you can get her.â You go to snap your fingers, but Logan squeezes your hand again as if to hold off.Â
âWhat?â
âDo you hear that?â He yells over the cheers. âSomethingâs coming.â
Logan keeps looking around, and in his search is when you see something moving from the corner of your eye. You turn, and a lump starts forming in your throat.
âGood GodâŚâ
It is clockwork with how things evolved. The Sentinels, with their yellow eyes and shiny polymer, are no longer on their feet. They are in the air, carefully looking down on the crowd like they are Gods. They look so much bigger off the ground, and it unsettles you to no end.Â
You see Trask and the Major talking, a look of frustration on the scientist's face. It confuses you because he is the one that has control over the giants. However, your question is answered when the sun seems to go away and only shadows linger in the shape of a ring. Rubble and debris fall from the sky, and once you look up you couldnât believe what you were seeing.
A whole fucking stadium. Rows and rows of seats and cement foundation floating in the sky. It moves over the White House like a storm, slowly but surely coming with impending coverage. It is only as the inner circle enters your vision that you see Erik, carrying the weight of it like it was nothing.
The Sentinels rise higher, going up towards the floating anomaly as it surrounds it. You think for a second that maybe they were activated because they detected the threat. However, as you watch them reach the top, taking places like they are guarding a post with arms drawn, you know it wasnât anyone commanding them from the ground, but from the sky.Â
âHoly shit ErikâŚâ you whisper to yourself, some disbelief edged into your voice. Erik was a powerful mutant, that you knew, but this? This was next level.
âIâm getting Raven!â
Before you can say anything, Logan is running to tackle Raven down, but it doesn't matter. The minute he is on his feet, bullets are raining from the sky in droves.Â
âLogan, get back!â You yell, running to pull him back before the mass array of bullets hit him.
âIâll be fine! I can take them!â Logan yells over the madness of crowds flocking away. âWe need to get her!â
âLook around!â You grab his shoulders, shaking them. âIt doesnât matter if we get her now. We need to get Erik and we canât if we are both down!â
You donât wait for him to answer, dragging him to rubble that had made its way to the ground. You look around it, trying to get eyes on Charles and Hank before the ground shakes. Logan has his arms around you, covering your body with his to protect it from any kind of blow.Â
Itâs quiet for a moment as the dust settles. You peep out again, trying to locate the other two again. The field was a ghost town, the crowd able to escape before the stadium trapped them in. The President, Trask, and others were gone, assuming they went into some sort of hiding place that only they know about. It is only then that you realize Raven is no longer to be seen, which makes you think she went into hiding⌠with them.
âOh noâŚâÂ
âWhat?â Logan whispers, his eyes trained elsewhere.
âI think Raven is with Trask.â
âUnfortunately, I think we have a bigger fucking problem now.â Logan curses with eyes unmoving.
You look to see where he is staring, and you see Erik walking towards the White House before stopping. His hands go out in front of him, moving them like he is scanning for something.
You feel something in your mind move, and you gasp when you hear the voice in your head. âCharles?â
âMy dear, we are running out of time.â You hear Charles echo in your head. âIf you or Logan can get Erikâs helmet off of him, I can stop him.â
âOkay, on it.â You turn in Loganâs hold, back now against the rubble. âWe need to get the helmet off him. I will stop time while you grab it.â
âSounds easy enough,â Logan grunts, crouching in front of you.Â
âAlright, here we go.â You focus all your energy on your surroundings before snapping your fingers. Your fists are secured, and you look at Logan before nodding his way. âGo on.â
He goes to get up but stops for a second before coming back down. His lips are on yours, a long peck before releasing you. Youâre stunned, not expecting such a romantic gesture. âIâll be back for you, baby.â
Heâs off, running towards Erik. You watch as he makes it up to him, carefully removing the helmet and putting it under his arm. He is on his way back, holding the helmet close as he gets back to where you stood. You both crouch back down, and you unclench your fists letting time continue its course.Â
âCharles, heâs all yours,â you say with the hope he can hear you.
Itâs quiet for only a moment when you hear something heavy fall to the ground. You hear a yell, one that sounded exactly like Charles, and you shoot up. You see some particles in the air to your right, steel and concrete a heap on the ground. You see brown hair, and then you see Hank, fully in his true blue form, trying to lift the heavy weight off of Charles. Panic sets in, not really sure how bad the damage is but it stirs you to stand up and release the alarming catharsis that bubbles to the surface.
âCharles!â You scream, your fight or flight response taking the former as you run towards them. You sense Logan right behind you, following your trail as you approach the mess. You almost make it, ready to stop time again but then you feel something graze your arm and then a stretch of pain that takes you out.
You fall with a grunt, holding your left arm as you curse to yourself. Blood is making its way down your arm, and you work to put pressure on it but it continues to seep through the cracks of your fingers. Shit, shit, shit!
You hear more bullets go off towards you, and your heart is in your throat as you expect to be battered, but they donât come. They donât come because Logan is in front of you, body jerking as he works to pick you up as wounds form from his back.Â
âHoly shit, Logan!âÂ
âHold on!â He seethes in pain, holding you close as he gets you both behind another pile of rubble.Â
You both have your backs to the scene unfolding, but you know there isnât much time to stay here. With haste, you unbuckle your belt, flinging it out of the jean loops and wrapping it below the bullet wound. Your teeth sink into the leather, pulling it tightly before securing it.Â
You look over at Logan, who is surrounded by the pellets he pushed out from his back. He grunts as one more falls to the ground behind him, and he turns to you with an alertness youâve become all too familiar with.
âAre you okay?â You ask stupidly, because of course he is.
He doesnât answer at first, looking at you and then looking back at the destroyed lawn. It causes you to look too, and you can see Hank clobbering one of the Sentinels as he yanks out its wiring. But heâs outnumbered and itâs only a matter of time before they gang up on him.Â
âWe need to help Hank,â you say, getting ready to stand up before Loganâs hand grabs you by your jean loops.
Loganâs hands are on your face, holding it still as to keep your focus on him. There is conflict in the way he looks at you; a conflict that says you wonât agree with what heâs about to do next. You can read him so easily, and what you are reading makes you uneasy.
âNo, LoganâŚâÂ
âSweetheart, I need you to stay right here.â His eyes are saying so much more in relation, telling you why heâs asking you this. You know he has lost too much, and to lose it all before itâs even started isnât in the cards for him. Still, you canât help the stubbornness that begs to fight with him.
âIâm not leaving you defenseless out there.âÂ
âThen defend us from here,â Logan says firmly, mind unchanging. âI will not lose you here. I am not going back to a future where you donât exist.â
Itâs quiet for a second, words processing in your head. You knew he loved you, but to see it run so deep at his declaration made you want to cry. How is it a man that you havenât known for long, can have such an effect on you? How is it that a part of him already runs so deeply inside you? It leaves you with the conclusion that if you are feeling all of this after a few days, then what he must be feeling is tenfold after a lifetime.Â
Your hands go to his face, mirroring him as you two stare at each other. Heâs waiting for you to accept what he is asking, eyes moving back and forth slightly like he is trying to read your response. You sigh deeply, swallowing the pill he wants you to take before you pull him down to your lips to seal your acceptance.Â
He grunts in surprise, but shortly after melts against you. Itâs a kiss molded into words, one that says âthank youâ and in kind says âIâll see you after this is all overâ. Itâs a kiss that says even when there truly is no time left, there is always time for this, for you, for him.
You pull away, eyes watering as you look at the man who will ultimately become your world and your savior in ways you canât begin to fathom. You give him one more good look, one more stroke of your thumbs against his facial hair, before dropping your hands to surrender.Â
âYou come back to me safe,â you assert. âI will do as much as I can from here.â
Logan responds by kissing your lips again, placing three quick kisses in succession before standing up to run off towards the mess. You peek over from your hiding spot, and you see two of the Sentinels on the ground in its robotic guts. You hear Hank roaring to your left, seeing him fly to the ground onto his back. The Sentinel he was fighting approaches, armed and ready to fire.Â
You clench your teeth as you put your arms out, the wounded one shooting signals to your brain that it aches terribly. However, you push through, focusing on the Sentinels mechanics and the timely energy around it. You watch it slowly come to a stop, and you see Hank look your way before you nod your head to tell him to get the job done.
You watch him spring into action, hands digging into the skull before ripping the head off. You let go, with the Sentinel now inactive, and turn to see Logan with his claws out digging into the chest of another one. His clawed fists go in and out over and over, the automaton down.Â
You go back and forth between Hank and Logan, ensuring them the time they need to defend themselves safely. Itâs a smooth rhythm, and you think things are going well, but then you see Erik appear a few feet away from Logan with metal pieces floating in the air. You go to stop Erik in his tracks, but then you hear running in your direction.Â
âRun!â You hear Hank yell, and you turn to see him sprinting away from two Sentinels.Â
âShit!â You curse, and in the blink of an eye you are running with him, bullets hot on your trail.
You run with purpose, dodging whatever the Sentinels sent your way, but your attention was focused on Logan, who was cutting away at any metallic pieces Erik threw at him. It was a dance, every step forward meant a step back, and from what you were witnessing Logan was the better dancer. However, Erik has always been good at catching up.
The Sentinels are gaining ground, and you knew something had to give. They were doing what they were created for, and they wouldnât stop now, not at this rate. You look at Hank as you both push on, and he looks back at you as he feels your eyes on him.
âWe need to split off!â You yell at him. âYou go towards that car over there, and Iâll go the opposite way.â
You both diverge, running away from one another in the hopes of confusing the Sentinels. You donât hear bullets in your space anymore, but it causes you to look and see Hank surrounded. You go to stop them, but then a gasp shoots from your lungs as you feel metal wrap around your wrists. Next thing you know, you are hanging in the air.
You are thrashing, wrists bound tightly. You see Erik approaching you, and you panic but not because he is approaching you. Itâs because you donât see Logan.
Fuck, whereâs Logan?
âIâm sorry, my little timelord,â Erik says with a hint of an actual apology. âThis is what happens when you donât choose a side.â
âI did what was best for me. No one else,â you grit out. You can feel blood start to trickle down your arm, the stretch opening your wound further.
âI guess youâll see how that turns out for you.â Erik sets you onto the ground with a thud, and suddenly you feel metal coil around your neck. You start to feel the pressure against your throat, making your eyes bulge.
âNo need to be scared, my dear. Just need you out of the picture for a few hours.â Your airways are getting crushed. Your hands are desperately trying to remove themselves from the makeshift cuffs, but to no avail.Â
The coughing fits start, lungs eager for some relief, but they cry out when none comes. Itâs strange to feel your lifespan waning, yet have your mind linger elsewhere.
Please be okay. God, please let Logan be safe.
As if your prayers were answered, you hear him in the distance. You can hear him shouting your name, and you ache at the sound. You are relieved, yet there is a sadness that sticks in your foggy brain. It almost makes you think that soul bonding is an actual force within the universe because you can tell what he is feeling. You can tell he feels like he is witnessing your death a second time.Â
The bondage of metal weakens, air filling your lungs at full capacity. Your hands automatically go to your throat, rubbing the raw skin as you inhale and exhale. Your bearings are dispersed, and you work to gather all the pieces so you can see what is happening. It isnât until you hear Logan yelling in pain, followed by grunts that rip from his gut, that you shoot up. Your eyes focus and what you see burns your chest as you let out a scream that processes faster than your mind can.
Metal rods pierce Loganâs body, curling into his legs and up his chest. They enter and exit like thread, and his facial expression is one of agony. His head turns towards you, his eyes screaming for you to look away and to run and never look back. However, your fears, your anger, your love for him is overcoming and it doesnât take long for you to snap.
Your body screams as you move to your knees and throw your arms up, the aches telling you to stop wearing yourself further. Your power is straining, but your emotions are fueling the fire. No amount of pain will ever amount to the pain of losing Logan.Â
You slam your fists to the ground, a ricochet from the impact spreading. Time stops in motion, the waves of your power spreading and catching everything in its wake. The pain increases, but you donât care about that. You only care about Logan.
Everything is still aside from Loganâs body shakes. You run to him, falling to your knees to get closer. Your energy is depleting as you hold onto time, making your mind race to figure out what to do to help him. Your hands keep going to touch the rods, but back away every time he shudders with discomfort.
âLogan, tell me what to do,â you plead. âTell me what I need to do to get these out.â
âFuckâŚâ Logan is working his jaw, seemingly trying to calm himself down. âTry pulling on one.â
You nod, placing both hands on a rod buried in his back. You counted down from three, and with a deep breath you pulled as hard as you could. The second Logan started yelling though, you let go.
âShit! Please stop!â Logan shouts, the metal rods excruciating.
âLogan, we need to get these out of you please.â You were starting to sob; your hands running over his neck and face to try and soothe him.
âSweetheart, please,â Logan grunts, trying not to move too much. âI promise you this wonât kill me.â
âBut you are suffering,â you whisper, tears staining your face as new ones form. âI can hold this just please. You have to push them out or something.â
Something changes in Loganâs face, a sense of realization as you watch his eyes widen. A broken laugh leaves his lips, eyes glossing. âI finally understand.â
âW-what?â You stutter.
âI desperately wanted to save you, and I couldnât. You had begged me not to, and I couldnât fathom it.â He starts to cough, groans filling the cracks. âBut I understand now. Iâm sorry for not understanding before.â
âPlease donât,â you choke. âThat doesnât matter. What matters now is getting these out of you.âÂ
Your hands go to the rods again, but his hand grabs yours before you make contact. You are sure you look pitiful, especially as you arenât one to beg. You guess when feelings get so strong, it doesnât matter. Your heart is fully on your sleeve for Logan to see, and what you are showing is reflected in his pretty, glossy, hazel eyes.Â
âI need you to promise me something, sweetheart,â Logan says gently. âI need you to promise me that you will find me.â
âWhere? Where will I find you?â Your voice wavers, unable to keep your emotions at bay.Â
âYou know I canât say, baby.â Loganâs hand squeezes yours, trying to be reassuring. âBut you have before. I know you will find me again.â
You donât know what to think of that. It could be years before you find him. Will it be right before the world goes to shit? Will it be in a decade or two from now? How can you go on living your life as normal when you donât know when you will find him? Or how can you live knowing he isnât right beside you?
âDonât overthink this. Everything will be okay.â
You sniffle as you look at him, a tired smile on his face. A small laugh passes through your sobs. âNot very in character for you to be optimistic.â
âAnd it will be the last time you see me so optimistic for a long time,â Logan smirks. âBut you can change that.â
You get on your stomach, moving so your face is level with his and kiss him one last time. Itâs bittersweet, tasting him on your tongue. You hope you are conveying the answer he is looking for, one that tells him you promise to move heaven and earth for him. One that tells him you promise you are his, and no one will ever have you for as long as you both live. A promise that tells him you will find your way home to him, and you will bring him home to you.
You let go, breath wavering as you know what you are about to witness. Even with his reassurance, it will be hard to watch, and you know the tears will fall. It is inevitable.
âBaby, go find Charles. Make sure he is okay and stick with him. Once you find him, let me go.â
You nod, pecking his lips one more time before getting up to your feet. You look at him, taking in every detail that imprints your memory, making sure to never forget that the man before you is your soulmate for life.
âI love you, Logan.â You say with teary eyes.Â
âI love you. Iâll see you soon.â He smiles, before closing his eyes, preparing himself.
You quickly run off, afraid that if you didnât you wouldnât allow yourself to. You run over to the giant terrain of rubble where Charles was, and you see him lying there frozen like everything else. You maneuver into his spot, a tight fit with enough room for you to situate yourself. You look back out onto the field, and you quiver as you see Logan lying there just waiting as he suffers in pain. You look down, eyes squeezing tight before you snap your fingers, a heavy weight off your shoulders as you suck in a deep breath.
âOh darling, when did you get in here?â
You open your eyes to see Charles, breathing heavier than usual as he lays in discomfort. You work to prop him up, holding onto him so he can sit up right. It is at that moment you hear yelling, and you look back out to see Logan in the air with Erik holding his metallic weight. You want to look away, unable to bear the sight, but they stay glued to them. Then, you see Erik flex his fingers.
As you watch Logan fly away, your lungs urge a cry to curl out into the atmosphere, but you suppress it. After everything, you have faith in him. He gave you the faith you needed to believe everything will turn out alright. Even as you watch Erik yank the bunker up from the ground and out the White House, you have faith that the future will be safe, because you wonât let Logan down. You have a promise to keep.
Logan has become your Orion; your guiding star. He has become your alpha and your omega. He is your sole mission in this life, and he is not a mission you plan to fail.
You will set things right, and you will find him.Â
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY; Year 2023
The first time ever I saw your faceâŚ
Music. Soft, calming music enters his conscience. Heâs heard this melody before in the same fashion, but that was forever ago, right?Â
I thought the sun rose in your eyesâŚ
Logan stirs, his brain doing a leap and a jump from REM sleep as it tries to wake up. He has lived this moment before, as the music says he has. Is he back to where he started? Or is it something else?
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gaveâŚ
Where is he? The last thing he remembers was drowning. Metal pierced his body so deep he could taste it with freshwater. It should linger, but it doesnât. He doesnât taste anything abnormal. Heâs on a bed. Did someone save him? Whose bed is this?Â
To the dark and the endless skiesâŚ
His eyes open, sunlight shining brightly as they adjust. The room is familiar, and it dawns on him that itâs because it is his room. Their room.Â
He turns to his side slowly, his body still adjusting to whatever the fuck it was heâs waking up to. He sees the little radio on the bedside table, the holographic globe spinning as the words âGolden Oldiesâ glide around it.Â
And the first time ever I kissed your mouthâŚ
Holy shit⌠he did it.Â
Suddenly, the door opens, and nothing could have prepared him.Â
âHey, sleepyhead!â
There you were in all your glory. You were dressed for the day: a tight and long black velvet skirt with a short black sleeve shirt and black combat boots. There are little crow's feet and bunny lines by your eyes and your hair has grown out. He is starstruck, and his heart is threatening to leap out of his chest.
You walked up to him, your legs touching the bed as you looked down at him. âI know I look good. No need to let the flies in.â
Logan shuts his mouth, moving to sit up. There are so many things he wants to say, do. But nothing will come out. All he can do is stare and bumble like an idiot.
âYou know itâs nine, right? You missed your first class.âÂ
His class?
âWhat?â
âDonât worry, Lo. Your students got a little lesson from me about 70s music culture, so they werenât totally out of a history lesson.â You say with a wink.
He doesnât respond, eyes mesmerized as you walk over to the desk, putting away folders from what he assumes was the previous class.
âCan you believe these kids know nothing about the Ramones? Or even ELO or Fleetwood Mac? Itâs blasphemous.â You shut the drawer, and go to lean back against the desk, smiling at him.
âIâll get up, baby. Donât you worry about me.â You say in a mock deep voice, pushing yourself off the furniture. âLast night must have really worn you out for you to sleep like the dead.âÂ
You are giggling and Logan is on edge. You are here. You are alive. He was hopeful that would be the case, but to see everything come to fruition was a lot to process.Â
âLo, baby, are you okay?â You are in front of him, moving in between his legs.Â
He canât help himself. He has his arms around your thighs, pulling you onto his lap. His hand secures itself at the nape of your neck, bringing your head down to his so his lips can intercept yours. Your skirt has ridden up, scrunching up at your ass giving Logan the chance to mold his hand into the flesh. He kisses you with ferocity, needing everything from you.
âLogan,â you laughed between his kisses. âI canât believe you want to go again after last night, you dog.â
âYouâre here,â Logan groans against your lips. âMy baby, youâre here.â
âOf course Iâm here. Why wouldnât I be?â Your hands scratch his head, and he simpers as his mouth attaches to your neck, sniffing your pulse point as he keeps you firmly against him. You smell so good, so much so he wants to soak you into his skin.
âYou are acting so strange right now, baby. Are you sure everything is okay?â
Logan lays his head against your chest, listening to your heart flutter away. He could cry listening to it, the comforting sound creating a lullaby that will lull his sore head to rest. Itâs different hearing it now, knowing that when he wakes up once more, you will be here. You will be by his side when he goes to sleep at night, and when he wakes up. He will share every sunset and sunrise with you, something he will never take for granted for even a second.Â
He feels your hands cradling his head, keeping it steady as he starts to rock you in his arms. âWhat are you thinking, Lo?â
He lifts his head to look at you, your eyes full of warmth. You are looking at him with such patience and poise. Your hands are still on his head, and he goes to move them to his temples.Â
âShift my mind.â
âLogan,â you say, taken aback and unsure but he quells your worry with another slow kiss.
âTrust me,â he murmurs against your mouth. âI need you to understand what I am feeling right now.â
He shuts his eyes, hoping you will indulge him and he smiles when he feels the warmth at his temples spread. He thought his mind going back to his last memory of drowning would cause panic, but he is calm. Maybe itâs because you are able to keep him afloat as you rewind what played out.
It is short lived, but soon he feels your hands go down to the scruff of his facial hair. He opens his eyes and he sees the tears welling in your eyes with a smile.Â
âMy God, you did it. You remember,â you choked out. Logan canât help but smother your lips again before kissing your tears away.
âYou did a lot of the heavy lifting, sweetheart.â Logan chuckles against your skin. âBut most importantly,â he pulls away, hands going to your face to make sure you understand how sincere he is. âYou found me. Just like you promised me.â
âI said I would,â you say through tears. âI was determined to find you. To share this life with you.â
This life. A life with all the good things and even the bad ones. A life that he gets to live with you. This new life: a second chance. With this second chance, he isnât going to waste it.Â
âClose your eyes,â Logan says with a peck.
You shut them, and he carefully sets you on the bed for him to stand up. He rushes to the bookshelf, hoping that in this new timeline he was smart enough to have gotten the one thing that showed complete and utter devotion. Even more so, he hopes he hid it where he originally had.Â
He finds the royal blue spine, pulling it out to open to the first few pages before the hole within the book is revealed. His lips turn with a quiver, seeing the ring just as it was before. He picks it up, holding it out in the sunlight to watch the diamond sparkle and the gold ban shine. Itâs simple but you were never one for extravagant things. After a life of running free, you wanted the simple life and that is exactly what he will give you.
He walks back around the bed, getting on his knees to settle between your legs as he spreads them. Your skirt rode up again and he canât help but kiss your left thigh and give the other a squeeze. The sweetest noise comes from you, and it only makes him nip at the skin.Â
âGod, you are such a tease.â
âI canât resist,â he hums before lifting his head. He holds out the ring and with care takes your left hand in his right.Â
âGo ahead and open those pretty eyes for me.âÂ
He watches your eyes flutter open, a gasp falling from your lips when your eyes fall onto his palm. Your fingers instinctively went to it, and Logan held it more towards you to let them grace the ring.Â
âIâve thought about how Iâve wanted to do this so many times,â Logan starts. âSo much so that I pushed it off until it was too late. I will not make that same mistake twice.â
âLogan,â you say with your fingers trailing to his face, as if telling him nothing is his fault. He knows.
âI know I have so much to catch up on and learn. There will be things I am not aware of. You may be different, and I may be different,â He takes the ring and your left hand, holding it near but not quite enacting the officiality. âBut the one thing that will never change is how you will always be at the forefront of my mind because I am nothing without you. At the end of the day, I want to come home to you as your husband and you as my wife if you will have me.â
This is such a vulnerable moment, and there was a time where it would eat him up alive. However, being right here with you, proposing to you in this shared room under the light of the morning, encourages him like nothing else. Vulnerability with you gives him strength.
You are biting your lip, eyes watering again as you nod your head profusely. âPut that ring on my finger, handsome.â
He slides the ring onto your ring finger, settling into place perfectly. You held it up, and he watched as you admired the piece, the sparkle of the diamond reflecting in your eyes. It sparks you to look back at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and he notices you shift until your lower body pushes him onto the floor. Your arms bring him in, his head meeting yours as lips reconnect once more.
âI love you so much, Logan. I am truly the luckiest woman alive.âÂ
All he can think is if you were the luckiest woman, then he is the luckiest man. One decision could have led to a world in which you didnât exist or one where you two would just be specks living completely different lives. To have woken up in a new world, one thatâs more promising, is luck after the hell he had experienced. Having you here in his lap, kissing him like he is the center of your universe, makes him weep with joy.Â
You are his world, and in this new life, rather than the world stopping, it continues to spin forward.
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I am so fucking sorry for the late reply but I just gotta say your reblog had me kicking my feet HEHEHEHEHEHE
The Thrill of the Chase
pairing: Logan Howlett x Female Mutant!Reader rating: Explicit (MINORS DNI; 18+) word count: 7.1K summary: Logan ate part of your sandwich, so you stole his cigars. Things turn out differently from what you were expecting.
warnings: fluff and smut, teasing, slight predator/prey trope, banter, making out, dirty talk, oral (f and m receiving), vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, squirting, soft!dom Logan
Author's Note: My first Logan fic! X-Men used to be my world and the fact it is making a comeback has rejuvenated me. Also, I was picturing Logan from the first three trilogies but DOFP!Logan also crossed my mind so :)
Please read my pinned post before following me! Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked as this blogâs content is NSFW.
[AO3 link]
It was getting close to evening, everyone doing their own thing to unwind after a long day of classes and teaching. You had planned to do the same thing, planning to grab a quick bite in the kitchen before getting ready to relax in your room. You were whipping up a quick and easy sandwich, assembling it onto a plate before moving it to the island in the middle of the kitchen. You went to get a soda from the cupboard, only for your skin to raise as you sense something is about to happen: a certain someone was about to come take your sandwich.Â
âIf you take one bite out of my sandwich Logan, I will kick your ass.â
You turn to see him, eyes wide along with his mouth, about to chomp into your dinner. He closes his mouth, only for him to keep the sandwich in his hands and an âinnocentâ smile on his face.Â
âOh, you mean this sandwich?âÂ
You shut the cupboard door, walking over to him with a stern, playful look. You know he is messing with you. That has been the dynamic of your relationship with him. Ever since he decided to stay here at the school and join the X-Men, you two have grown closer and closer, enjoying each otherâs company over anyone else. It didnât matter what either of you did. You both thrived in the presence of one another.Â
But something that has become common practice as of late was playful in nature. You both have always teased, but it has recently ramped up. If one of you started it, the other would find a way to end it before starting again. It was the push and pull between the two of you that you loved, and it has only made you long for him. You want to believe he feels the same, but even your mutation of precognition canât fully confirm that.Â
âYes, that is my sandwich. I worked very hard on it. I'll have you know.â You are standing in front of him now, having to look up at him slightly as you wait for his next move.Â
âIâm sure you did. It looks delicious.â He says, but rather than looking at the food, he is looking right at you. Cheeky bastard.
âY-yeah, which is why I am asking you to put it down so I may enjoy it.âÂ
âI donât know. I think I wanna have a taste first.âÂ
His hazel eyes are staring you down, almost begging for you to make a move. In reality, you really didnât care if he ate it. You could easily make another and enjoy dinner with him. But you know that isnât what he is doing right now. He is playing with you, wanting to rile you up. Well, it takes two to play that game.
âThat sandwich is very precious to me. Iâd think before you act.â
âOh yeah?â He smirks, bringing his face closer to yours. âWhat are you going to do about it?â
âIâll take something precious of yours.âÂ
He chuckles, turning his face to the sandwich. âIâd like to see you try, sweetheart.â
He takes a huge bite out of your sandwich, his eyes closing as he chews. You purse your lips, watching him savor your meal with gusto. You know he is overexaggerating to truly get at you, but little does he know you have a trick up your sleeve.
âEnjoying my meal?âÂ
He turns back to you, swallowing before licking his lips. âVery much. I may have to take another bite.â
You get up in his space, settling onto your tippy toes so your face is by his ear. You let your breath waft against his skin, causing a shiver to shake his core. You can tell he is anticipating what you will do, always highly enjoying your responses to his antics. Oh, he is so in for it.
âThatâs okay. You can have it.â You let your pointer finger trace his collarbone that is very much on display from his white, fitted tank. âAnd you want to know why that is, Logan?â
He takes a deep breath, very apparent that your actions are doing something to him. His left hand lets go of the sandwich to settle on your hip, squeezing the flesh slightly to ground himself. It is actions like that that make you believe you do something to him. Like you drive him just as insane as he does to you. You bring your left hand to his head, pulling him down so you can really get into his ear.Â
âThatâs because I know where you keep your special cigars from Cuba, and I am going to take them.â
You couldnât have run fast enough. You are already shooting for the stairs, taking two steps at a time as you speed to his room. You knew it had taken him a second to realize what had happened because by the time you got to his floor, you heard him yelling your name.Â
You burst into his room, locking it quickly. It was only to buy some time, for you knew he had a key. You were giggling as you went to his bookcase, plucking out the blue, hardcover history book. You open it, and smile as you see the unopened cigars there in the deep hole where text used to be. Just as you close the book, you hear heavy footsteps reach the door and a jingle of keys.
You panic, needing to find a way out before he opens the door. You could run around him, but you needed a head start. You could hide and wait for him to leave but you knew heâd sniff you out. There was only one option left, and that was to go out his bedroom window. You hear the key enter the lock, and with a quickness you didnât think you had, you unlocked his window and flung it open. Just as the door busted open, you crawled out. You grasped onto the ivy that clung to the schoolâs exterior and began to climb down.Â
âOh, when I get my hands on you, you are in for it!â
You look up to see Loganâs head popping out the window. He has a scowl on his face, but you could see the wild look in his eyes. You knew he was enjoying this, for he loves the chase.
âThis is for taking my sandwich!â You yell, and continue making your descent.Â
You hear the window close, which makes you go faster, knowing he is rushing down those stairs to meet you at the bottom. You could sense that he would go to the front door, so once your feet touch the grassy floor you run to the back door. Opening it quickly, you determine your next move. He is probably at the front, ready to intercept you, giving you the opportunity to hide somewhere.Â
You rush to the hallway where many of the classes are held. You run into the first classroom you see, its door already open. You see the large oak desk at the back of the classroom, and quietly walk up to it. It has a space for leg room, so with haste you crawl in it, pulling the chair in carefully to not make any sound.Â
Your heart was racing, adrenaline thrashing as you hid. You try to steady your breath, trying to keep quiet. The atmosphere has become eerie, the silence defying as you try to keep it that way. You try to listen for any other sounds over your pounding heart, when another wave of cognition hits you. You can see it clearly, where he finds you under the desk, hands on either side to block you in. You know you need to move on, so you go to move the chair, but you suddenly halt when you hear his voice boom nearby.
âWhere is she?âÂ
You cover your mouth, trying to hold in your breathing as well as the gasp that almost shot from your mouth. His voice was coated in gravel, and absolutely primal. Even from afar, it was clear he was worked up, and it made you embarrassingly wet.Â
You hear footsteps enter the hallway, heavy boots against the shiny wooden floor. At first, you think you may have a way out, hearing him pass the room you were in, but you arenât so lucky because you hear him stop. You grip onto the book and your mouth, even though you know it will do absolutely nothing. You know he senses you, and it is confirmed when you hear footsteps enter the room. You hear him inhale deeply, exhaling with sigh only to turn into a deep rumble.Â
âI know you are here.â He is slow in taking his steps, and each step gets closer and closer to your hiding place.Â
He sniffs deeply again, growling this time around like he was a wild animal. âNo point in denying it. I could smell you the second I walked into the hall.â
You know he will find you, and he will block you in. So you decide to take a risk before he closes in on you. You push the chair out far enough to crawl out, before standing up behind the desk. You put your hands up with the book in your left one, trying to show off a sign of surrender.Â
âYou have nowhere to go, dollface. No point in tryingâ to run for Iâll snatch you up real quick.âÂ
âYou must really want your cigars back to block me in like this.âÂ
He steps even closer, with him now standing right in reach of the book. He could easily grab it and take it, for he is much stronger than you. But he doesnât make a move, staying glued to his new spot. You donât know whatâs running through his head, his eyes trained on you. It isnât until he places his hands onto the desk that you take a step back and drop your hands.Â
âYouâre wrong.â
You raise a brow, not sure what he is getting at. âWhat do you mean?â
He smirks, leaning his body over the desk. âIt isnât the cigars Iâm after. Not anymore.â
Your heart is in overdrive. You know the answer, it is becoming obvious. But you ask anyway. âThen what are you after, Lo?â
âI think you know the answer. Now it is a matter of will you let me take whatâs mine.â
You want to give in. You are becoming more aroused by the second, but you are starting to really enjoy the chase. Seeing how much it gets him going, to see this side of him, only makes you want to push him more. You want to see what he will do, especially when he gets his hands on you.
You walk around the desk, book of cigars still in hand, getting closer to him until you are toe to toe with him. âWhatâs the fun in surrendering?â
He quickly blocks you in, the desk pressed against your back. He has the most seductive, but feral grin upon his lips, like he thinks he has won his prize. His head leans down to yours, forehead against forehead, before he whispers his next sentence against your lips.
âThe fun is in what follows.â
His lips are on yours, desperate and needy. You canât help the moan that leaves your throat, mind going hazy as his lips devour. You have craved him for so long, you want this to last forever. However, you cannot give into him like this. You will not make this easy for him.
One of your hands goes to the hem of his tank, fingers lingering before going under. He feels so solid, the coarse hairs on his tummy spread thick as you go to his left side. You can feel him shudder over you, and you try to hold back the smirk that wants to curve onto your lips. You move your fingers sporadically over the left side of his ribcage, causing him to jump back. This gives you the chance to run like hell.
âHey! Thatâs unfair!â You hear him yell and it makes you giggle profusely. You must thank Jean later for letting you in on that little secret; that the broody, grumpy man with the metal bones was insanely ticklish. You wish you could turn to see his full reaction, but you are too determined.
You can hear him running right behind you, and you have never been more aroused. You shouldnât feel so turned on by Logan chasing you around, but the thrill of the chase was seeping into your loins and you were addicted.Â
More people had shown up around the school, meeting with friends to study or hang out for the evening. You were dodging people left and right, and everyone looked perplexed as they saw Logan charging his way towards you. Many of them probably assumed it had to do with the book you were holding, and while they would have been originally right, they are no longer even close.Â
You donât have time to hide again, not with him so close behind. You make it back to the stairs, hauling ass as you try to make it to your room. You can hear him right behind you, breathing heavily and grunting with each step. Your room is at the end of the hall, and you are basically flying with how fast you are running. The second you reach the door, you swing it open and throw yourself in before slamming it. You had gotten it shut, mentally pumping your fist in victory, but by the time you went to turn the lock, it was too late. The door flies open, sending you back a couple feet back as Logan stands at the door's entrance.Â
âI have you right where I want you. No more running.â
If looks could kill, youâd be ash. He enters your room, closing the door behind him with his eyes staying on you. He takes one step forward, with him now hovering over your smaller form. The way he is looking at you makes your knees faint, for you felt you could hear what he was revealing with his stare.Â
âI still know your weakness, Logan.â You smirk, holding the book up to your face to dodge any attack he was planning. It is pointless, you know, but it is the best defense youâve got.Â
âDo you now?â He walks towards you, in step with you as you go backwards. The back of your knees hit the edge of your bed, telling you that you truly have nowhere else to go. He is right on you, grinning now that he has the upper hand.Â
âIâm afraid that book wonât save you from me.â He snatches the book, tossing it to the side of the bed.Â
You are in for it. You donât know what he is planning, and the element of surprise has overcome you. However, with the way he is looking at you, you guarantee that what is about to happen will be just as exhilarating as when he was hunting you down.Â
âWhat do you plan to do with me, hm?â You let your fingertips walk along his chest, dancing all the way down to his side like you did earlier.Â
He is quick to grab your hand, bending down to lift you up in his arm before tossing you onto the bed, following swiftly as he pins both hands above your head.Â
âDonât even think about it. I know you all too well.â He growls through his teeth. âAs for what I plan on doing, whatâs the fun in telling when I can just show you. Would you like that?â
You simply nod, breathless at how he is handling you. However, that wasnât good enough for him, as he takes hold of your wrists in one hand so his other one can grip your chin.
âI wanna hear you say it, pretty girl.â
You huff, getting frustrated already that he is dragging this out. With your legs still free, you wrap them around his hips, your heels digging into his back causing him to grunt. Your lips are practically on his, faint contact making you antsy. âShow me what youâve been wanting to do with me.â
Your lips are squashed by his instantly, hunger and desperation clear. His hands go to your thighs, grabbing at the flesh. With your hands free, they go straight to his hair, gripping and tugging on it which causes him to moan hotly into your mouth.Â
His hands travel up to the hem of your blouse, pushing the fabric up past your stomach before his hands go under. You moan at the contrast, rough hands, that have been through so much running along your unmarred body. He swallows what you give him, groaning happily at the effects he was causing.
You are in heaven. You never thought you would be here like this with Logan. You never thought you would be under him at his complete mercy. It makes a shiver travel down your spine, traveling right to your core that is a heated mess because of the man before you. To be with the man you have pined for is riveting, and you could cry that he seems to return those feelings.
You donât know what triggers your mutation, but it is sudden. Your vision goes blurry, a strong aura surrounding you. It is overwhelming, a whimper bubbling from your throat as you see what is about to happen. Logan releases your lips with a grunt, looking at you intensely as you start to shake. You feel his rough hands cup your soft cheeks, stroking them gently.Â
Your cheeks feel hot, your vision turning you into a horny mess. Your hands grip onto Loganâs chest trying to ground yourself to reality. Itâs too much. Your visions rarely last long for they are just snippets of future events, but this was different. It was as if you were in a trance, and could feel everything he was doing to you. You donât know if it is your heightened emotions, especially with him right on you. All you knew is that pleasure was present, and you were starting to fall apart.Â
âHey, whatâs wrong?â You can hear his demeanor change, worry laced in his tone.
âFuck,â you couldnât help but moan, unable to control yourself. âI can feel everything, Logan.â
There is a pause, hands still touching your face. A few beats later, he lets his right hand go down, only to stop at your thigh squeezing tightly.Â
âTell me what you see, baby.âÂ
The rumble in his voice intensifies everything, causing you to grip onto him tighter. âOh God please donât make me say it out loud.â
You try to look away, but his left hand shifts so it is grabbing your chin. He forces your head back up, bringing his face down to yours like he had in the classroom. His breath fans over your lips, taking in the way they move as sounds leave them.Â
âIâm fucking you, arenât I? Making you lose yourself on my cock? Is that what you are seeing?â
You can barely talk, too enthralled in your vision. You grab the hand that is on your thigh and bring it to the top of your black pants. Logan gets the idea and angles it so he can slide his hand into them. His fingers brush over the fabric, feeling the damp spot that has formed drastically. You hear him curse under his breath, the vibrations hitting your lips as they brush against one another without full pressure.Â
âOh sweetheart, you are so wet.â He murmurs, pulling his hand out to bring it up to his nose, inhaling deeply before releasing a sound so feral that you could sob. âAnd you smell so fucking good.âÂ
You canât help but nod, not knowing how to respond. All you know is that you need him. Need him to take you on your bed and do whatever he wants to you. Youâll take anything he is willing to give you, for all you want is for him to make himself known to you.Â
His hand had gone back down to your crotch, cupping your pussy through the material. âDoes she want more attention?â
âLogan, please do something.â You choke, your mind steadily coming back to reality, but still not fully letting go. You start to grind down on his palm, desperate for anything he will give you, but he removes his hand, going to the back of your head to grip tightly.
Damn him!
âI know she deserves something, but do you? Do you deserve me after getting me so worked up like that?â
âLogan, I am begging.â You cry out in frustration, your nails digging into his chest causing him to groan lowly. âI want you. God, Iâve always wanted you so please take whatâs yours!â
He is back on you, kissing you till the air in your lungs dissipates. He starts to kiss away from your swollen lips, kissing down to your neck. He nips at your pulse point, going up to your ear to give it a light lick before going back down. With every kiss, he takes a deep breath in, which only makes him get more aggressive. Soft kisses turn to an open mouth lather to nips that could have easily broken the skin.
âI donât think you know what your scent does to me. It draws me in every time.â He bites down particularly hard at your collar bone, and you wouldnât be surprised if blood had come to the surface.Â
His hands come back up to the front of your blouse, carefully unbuttoning the garment before revealing your breasts that are almost spilling out of your bra. His hands mold over the cups, squeezing hard and slow as he makes his way to your sternum.Â
He is being so gentle with you, a complete 180 from how you thought this was going to go. He was so rough with you in your head, fucking you until you couldnât even say a word. This side of him was endearing, but you crave more from him.
âFor someone so feral for me, you sure are taking your time.â
He bites the top of your left breast, making you gasp at the sudden pain. âI donât think you are ready for that side of me, dollface.â
Your right hand goes to his head, taking a handful of his hair and yanking his head up. You know he wants to absolutely ravish you, and if itâs some convincing he needs, some convincing he is going to get.Â
âWhen I said to take whatâs yours, I meant it. I want you to make me beg until Iâm dumb, so fucking do it.â
âFine, but donât say I didnât warn you, Princess.â
His hands go under your top from the back, unclipping your bra before letting them resurface. He starts to yank your top off from the shoulders, only to smack your thigh that causes a light sting.
âArch that back for me.â
You do as he says, allowing him to take the rest of your top off along with your bra. He flings them both across the room, only to do the same with his tank. Youâve seen his upper body plenty of times, as there would be instances in which he disregards it for a training session. But this? This was very different. Itâs a different atmosphere, and rather than everyone getting an eye full of his muscular, hairy body, it is now for your eyes only.Â
Heâs looking down at you, pupils flared as he takes you in. You shiver as his palms stroke your tummy, slowly going up until they encompass your breasts. Your nipples pebble from the rough texture of his skin, and you can see it excites him. So much so that he takes the opportunity to take your nipples between his fingers and pulls them gently with a pinch. Your back bows off the mattress, adoring the pain he is providing, and let out a mewl as he lets go to run his thumbs over the tender peaks.
âYou sound so good,â Logan murmurs. âI need to hear more.â
His right arm goes under your back to keep you up, holding you there as his mouth goes to your left breast. He takes your nipple into his mouth, sucking with his eyes still on you. Your cheeks flush, head tilting to the side to avoid looking at him. Itâs too much. Itâs too fucking much.Â
Whimpers slip from your mouth, his treatment of your breasts making you want to rub your thighs together to soothe the ache, but he keeps your legs open. He eventually does the same to your other breast, working to match the work he left on your other nipple: hard, and tainted red.
He lets up, sitting on his knees as he unbuttons your pants, hands sliding the material down your legs in earnest. He tosses your heels off before stripping away your bottoms, and he hums as he admires the black, lacy thong you adorn.Â
âFuck,â he snaps the elastic, eyes entranced. âYou sure you didnât see this coming earlier? Wearing something sexy like this?â
âThey work better with my pants.â You huff, his fingers lightly running along your covered slit.
âHmm, no wonder your ass looked so good today.â He grins. âBut this pussy? I could play with her all day.â
He lowers himself, sliding off the bed only to bring you with him, your body gliding across the comforter with ease. He clutches onto your thighs, letting your legs rest in the crook of his elbows. He keeps his hold tight, bringing his lips down to kiss and suck on your thighs. You gasp at the aggressiveness, swearing you will see dark purple marks on you later. You moan at the idea, as it feels like he is finally claiming you; like are his to mark, to claim, to fuck, to love.Â
He makes his way to your center, sniffing deeply before releasing a feral growl. He lets the tip of his tongue lightly drag from the bottom to the top of your heat, still fully covered by the damned thong. He flicks at your clit, a ghost of a touch that has you bucking your hips. And he draws back every single time. His self-control is impressive but frustrating all the same.
He starts to suck on it through the material, creating a bigger wet spot with his spit. The more he pushed his tongue against your folds, the more the material would rub just right against you. It made you clench, panting at how much he is teasing you. He pulls away, blowing on your sensitive spot which only makes you whine.
âAwe what is it?â He chuckles, the vibrations barely hitting where you need him. âYou want my tongue to play with you?â
His hand lets go of your thigh, fingers tracing the fabric before pulling it to the side. âLucky for you, I love to play.â
He goes right in, mouth over your bud as he consumes your very being. Your hands shoot to his hair, not prepared for the onslaught of pleasure he is delivering. The swirls he is landing on his target is mind numbing, a tangible pressure that makes you want to curl in on yourself.Â
âFuck, sweetheart,â he groans, the sound vibrating right on your clit. It makes you buck your hips up, but his left arm presses you down to keep you secure.Â
âI know you want more, but you are going to have to be patient. Iâm not done tasting this sweet pussy. Fuck, you are so sweet.â
You feel one of his fingers near your hole, circling it teasingly before pushing in. His tongue is back on your nerves, mouthing covering it to add slight suction. Even with his big fingers, itâs not nearly enough.Â
âLogan, please add another.â You say, emphasizing as you clench down on his single digit.Â
He sucks a little harder, ripping a yelp from your throat. Still, he listens and inserts a second finger with the first. He goes in and out, drawing sighs from your lips as he builds you up. His mouth is going crazy, moving his lips with a vengeance. Your blood is hot, traveling down as your release starts to come to the surface.
You canât stop clamping down on his fingers, your pussy having a mind of its own. He is pistoning them now, causing your fluids to make its way down your ass onto the comforter. The sounds coming from his handiwork edge you further, your release imminent.Â
âOh God, Logan! Iâm cumming!âÂ
Big mistake on your part.
He pulls away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. A smug look appears on his face, and you have the urge to shove his face back into your aching cunt.
âYour first time cumming with me will be on my cock, sweetheart.â
He pulls your thong down your legs and moves you back to the front of the bed. He stands before you, making light work of removing his belt from the loops of his jeans. His jeans are next, pulling them down with his briefs.Â
You donât know what you expected. You werenât surprised with how well endowed he was, not with the way he is built. But to see it in person is so much different from your imagination. The details that your mind didnât conjure up, especially the vein that starts from his lower stomach to the tip of his cock. It makes you salivate, wanting to run your tongue along it.Â
âYou like what you see, darlinâ?â He noticed you staring, but you have no shame. Not anymore.
âYeah, want it in my mouth so bad.â
He walks over to you, his cock in your face. His hand goes to your head, stroking the baby hairs that are starting to stick to your temple. âAs much as I would love that, I am dying to give you the fucking you deserve, sweetheart. HoweverâŚâ he brings your head up closer to his cock, your lips not even an inch away. âHow about you get it nice and wet for me.â
You donât have to be told twice. You work up a good amount of spit, letting it drip from your mouth onto his hard cock. You start to lick at the sides, spreading your saliva all over until he is covered. You are basically making out with his dick, your lips and tongue moving like you had when you were kissing him earlier. It isnât until you get to that vein of his that you start to go wild, licking it up and down.Â
Logan is groaning deeply, and pulls your head back, a string of saliva connecting before breaking apart. You hear him curse under his breath before crawling back onto the bed, his hands holding your face as he brings his lips to you. His kisses are slow this time, letting it sink in that this is happening; that you two are about to be connected.Â
âYou did such a good job. You are such a good girl.â He murmurs against your lips before sitting up.Â
His dick is now sitting heavy on your mound, and the weight of it feels delicious. He taps it against your clit a few times, your hips thrusting up in kind.Â
âYou ready for me, sweetheart?â He lets his cock rut into your folds, thrusting up into your clit. âI think that sweet thing of yours is.â
âGive it to me, Lo. I need you so bad it hurts.âÂ
âDonât worry, baby. Iâll take that pain away.â He promises.
And as promised, he places the tip right at your aching hole and pushes in slowly. Your jaw slacks, the pressure as he continues his descent much more intense than you anticipated. Itâs been so long since youâve given yourself to someone. It all feels new, and you are thankful; thankful that it's with him.
He is fully seated in you, and you can only describe it as euphoric. With the way he sits heavy in your cunt, filling you up completely, you can honestly say that this was meant to happen. Logan was meant to be with you in every single possible way imaginable. Itâs the only explanation.
âHow does it feel, baby?â Logan asks, hands rubbing up and down your thighs soothingly.Â
âIt feels,â you whimper, gripping down on him. âIt feels so good, Lo.â
âYeah? My cock makinâ you feel good, doll?â He groans, clearly being affected by your behavior.Â
Before you can mutter a pathetic answer, your brain turning to mush, he shifts back. His cock slides out until the mushroom head is at your entrance, and then he slams back in; hard and slow.Â
The constant back and forth of his cock has you shaking, his hard thrust knocking the air out of your lungs and the slow thrusts feeling oh so good. And with the way he is watching you, his face mimicking yours as he receives his own pleasure, is sending zaps of electricity to your cunt. It makes you grasp onto him hard as he gets you more worked up.
Logan sits up straighter, grabbing your right leg and bringing it up to his shoulder. His left hand keeps it steady as he speeds up slightly and presses gentle kisses to your ankle in the process. It lets him go deeper, kissing your cervix every time it goes in. The pressure feels incredible, and the more he speeds up, the more your cunt starts to spasm out of control.Â
âThatâs it, baby. You are taking me so well, like you were fucking made for me.â He growls out, biting your ankle.Â
âGod yes, Logan! Iâm yours!â You cry out, him and his cock making you utterly delirious. âYou were made for my pussy!â
âFuck, you got a mouth on you.â He chides, his right hand going to your right breast.
He is squeezing your tit so tight; his hips are on autopilot with how fast he is taking you. Your hands donât know where to go, going from gripping the fabric below to holding onto his wrist. He is putting you into a completely fucked out state, and you canât get enough of that treatment.Â
You can tell you are on the precipice of cumming. You are clenching on and off rapidly, no longer in control of your muscles. The sounds coming from your coupling, wet smacking echoes that are music to your ears. You can feel the telltale sensation of being overwhelmed, and you know you are now on the track of no return.Â
âLogan, baby, Iâm gonna cum!â
He snarls at you, a crazed look in his eyes as he slams into you. He lets go of your tit to grab your chin, keeping your eyes on his. âDo it, darlinâ. Cum around my cock.â
You are over the edge in seconds, a silent scream taking over as you tremble and quake. Your pussy is convulsing like crazy, small gushes of liquid coming out. You see Logan look down at where you two are connected, and he is grinning like crazy.
âWhat a fucking sight. There isnât one thing about you that isnât pretty.â
You could sob at his words, especially with how overstimulated you are becoming. You work his cock, wanting him to cum inside of you.Â
âGive me your cum, Logan. Fill me until Iâm dripping.â
Your words must have triggered something because next thing you know he has let go of your leg and face and is falling onto his forearms with his mouth landing on yours. You hear the sound of his claws, completely unsheathed from his skin, causing him to bellow into your mouth, rutting like a madman which causes cum to leak out from your hole onto the bedding.Â
He slows down, milking out the rest of his spend before stopping all together. He lets go of your lips gasping, face buried in your shoulder as he tries to calm down. Your hands go to his back, massaging the taut muscles as he shakes.Â
âFuck, Logan,â you sigh, catching your breath as you come back to earth. You feel so relaxed, even with your guts feeling completely rearranged.
You hear his claws sink back into his skin, and it is then that he pulls out, falling to the other side of the bed. His chest is going up and down with every heavy breath, and you canât help but admire him like this.Â
He turns his head over to you, his hand coming to grab the hand by your side. âCâmere, sweetheart.â
You make it over into his side, head laying on his chest as you both bask in the post-sex glow. You canât help but smile at this turn of events, not expecting to have been in this position with Logan. But here you are, laying on his chest with his arms around you.Â
You notice something in your peripherals and see splintering from the headboard of your bed. There are six holes in the wood, and it sends you into a laughing fit, a euphoric glaze covering your entire body.Â
âWhatâs so funny?â He asks gruffly, pulling you into side as you continue to laugh.
âYour claws pierced my headboard.â
You see him glance back, and you see him sigh, relaxing more into the mattress. âIâll fix it up for you, darlinâ. Iâm sorry about that.â
âNo need to say sorry.â You snuggle your face into his skin, breathing in his natural musk as you relax more into him. âI just canât believe we did that, but Iâm glad it did.â
âI can say the same.â He murmurs, stroking your hair gently. âSeriously, I gotta know, did you see this coming?â
You shift up, going to lay your arms across his chest only for you to rest on them. You look into his eyes and the need in them is still there, but not in the way they were before. They were searching, looking for any confirmation that what you both just did truly meant more. It makes him look vulnerable, something he rarely shows. It makes you smile at the prospect of him opening up even more.Â
âNot until today. Itâs strange now that I think about it.â
âAnd why is that?â
âI never saw you coming, I guess. Even when it is clear as day how you felt about me, I never got anything that told me it was real. I didnât want to potentially screw anything up between us.â
He hums, a look of contemplation on his face before taking a hand and rubbing his face, a long sigh coming out in the process. âI suppose thatâs my fault.â
You canât help but look confused. His fault? âWhy do you say that?â
âI havenât been fully honest, but ever since I came here, no matter how welcomed and appreciated I am here, I have contemplated leaving.â His hand leaves his face to go behind your neck, lightly scratching the skin at the nape before continuing. âIâve been alone for a long time. Having a family has never been in the books for me. It is easier to not let people in.â
âSo, thatâs why I couldnât see you coming. You hadnât made up your mind?â
âItâs possible, but itâs just a theory.â
âBut, if thatâs the case, have you made your mind up?â You start rubbing his chest with your palm, feeling his heart pulse slowly. You are confident you know the answer now, but you want to hear him say it.
He grunts in laughter, shaking his head slightly before letting his fingers curl around the back of your neck. âI think you know the answer, princess. But if you really want to know, come up here.â
You push yourself from him, moving so you are straddling his torso. He brings his hands to your face once more, pulling you down so you are face to face with him. He kisses you, slowly initiating intimacy with his lips. He isnât saying anything, but you can feel what he is saying through the act alone.Â
âI canât close myself off from you,â he says between kisses. âAnd I donât want to. Especially if youâll have me.â
âI think you already know the answer to that, Lo.â
âStill, I wanna hear you say it.â
You pull away so you can look into his eyes, giving him all the sincerity you can muster. âI love you, and I want you to stand by me.â
He smiles teeth and all, and pulls you back down, kissing all over your face causing you to squeal. âHmm I love you too, sweetheart. Always have.â
You both stay like that for a while, basking in each other's company in post-coital ecstasy by continuing to taste one another. Another thought came over you, and you canât help but laugh again.
âIf I had known sex would make you like this, I would have made a move a long time ago.â Logan jokes, breathing them in.Â
âIâm sorry, but Iâm laughing because it took me taking your cigars hostage to do it.â
Logan throws his head back, chuckling at what you presume is the same thing you are laughing about.
âSpeaking of those cigars, can you grab them for me?â
You perk up, pushing away from him to lean over to your side of the bed. Your fingers stretch for the book, getting a grasp on it before getting settled back with Logan. He pulls you in quickly, hurdling you into his side. You see he has his lighter ready, which he must have grabbed while you were getting his cigars.
âYou gonna smoke one?â
He hums, taking one out. âI only smoke these on special occasions. I think this qualifies.â
He carefully unsheathes a claw, cutting the end before it sinks back under his skin. He flickers the lighter, letting the bright flame linger on the end to get a good burn going. He then lays back, pulling you even closer into his side, before taking his first puff.Â
You smile, laying your head against him as you let your eyes drift closed. You feel yourself drifting away, the smell of his cigar and the sound of his pulse lulling you to a deep sleep; a sleep with dreams that you hope feel like dĂŠjĂ vu in the near future.
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Now that I have posted my heavy hitter, I can finally read all the fucking Logan fic in my likes LMFAO
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Tiny Dots on an Endless Timeline
pairing:Â Logan Howlett x Female Mutant!Reader rating: Explicit (MINORS DNI; 18+) word count: 28.5k summary: "Itâs been a few years since you'd passed, dying in one of the earlier Sentinel raids. He watched you die. He watched you beg and plead for him to get everyone to safety as you used your gift to keep the Sentinelâs away. Itâs his last memory of you; a memory that makes these missions harder. But the idea that stopping all of this from happening could save you, could give him more time with you, gave him something he too hasnât felt in a long time: hope."
warnings: slow burn, angst/smut/fluff, pining, grief, death, panic attacks, intimacy, unprotected vaginal sex, nipple play, grinding, making out, overstimulation, aftercare
Authorâs Note: In this fic, there is some dialogue from the movie used and lyrics from Roberta Flack's "The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face". I do not own the rights to either and they are only used to help the plot of the story.
Please read my pinned post before following me! Minors and ageless blogs will be blocked as this blogâs content is NSFW.
[AO3 link]
Abandoned Chinese Temple; Shanxi Province, China; Year 2023
Logan didnât have any high expectations when it came to missions. He has learned time and time again that every mission in this war creates loss. It seemed like every time they had a chance, that chance was quickly vanquished. He would convince himself for the longest time things will get better. They have to get better. All wars end eventually. Itâs just a matter of when and what the casualties will be. But right now, the end is nowhere in sight.
They were safe for now, hiding out in an old temple that has aged and weathered away with the times. Being back with everyone, seeing who is left of them, sits heavy in Loganâs chest. Having people he cared about ripped away like they were nothing, no proper burial or goodbye, aged him like nothing else. While physically he was still in his proper form and shape, mentally he was struggling.
Charles is giving a history lesson on the Sentinels, giving information many of the younger mutants were not fully aware of. Logan is aware of what this is leading up to, a plan Charles and Erik conjured up as a last resort. Itâs smart, but even when it seems too good to be true, he must remind himself the same thing: do not have any expectations.
Logan notices Charles is quiet, and everyoneâs attention is on Kitty. She had been talking and even though Logan had zoned out for a minute, the look on her face says it all; itâs impossible.Â
âYou have the most powerful brain in the world professor, but the mind can only stretch so far before it snaps. It would rip you apart. Iâm sorry.â
The gears in Loganâs head were turning. He doesnât quite know the limits of his mutation, especially in regard to traveling back in time. However, he has taken multiple bullets and slashes. He has been through some of the worst experimentation imaginable and his body always recovered. If his body could bear all of that, whatâs to say he wouldnât survive going back a few decades?
Itâs not long before everyone agrees that Logan going back was the only solution left. Charles and Erik walk him through what needs to be done the minute he wakes up as his younger self. Patience is what Charles keeps telling him, but of course he knows that will be challenging alone. Not to mention all the bullshit they were doing in the early 70s. Bastards.
âI do apologize, Logan. But I have the utmost faith that you can do this.â Charles chuckles, obviously hearing what Logan called them.Â
âThere is nothing left to lose.â Logan sighs.
âBut there is plenty to gain.â Charles smiles, the hope on his features stronger than it had been in a long time. âTo bring our loved ones home. To bring her home.â
Logan sucks in a breath, holding it for a second before releasing slowly. His hand goes to his neckline, pulling the chain from his suit to look at it and there it was. The engagement ring: a symbol of good things to come that will no longer come to fruition. A lifetime that was stripped away from him, a life with you no more.Â
Itâs been a few years since youâd passed, dying in one of the earlier Sentinel raids. He watched you die. He watched you beg and plead for him to get everyone to safety as you used your gift to keep the Sentinelâs away. Itâs his last memory of you; a memory that makes these missions harder. But the idea that stopping all of this from happening could save you, could give him more time with you, gave him something he too hasnât felt in a long time: hope.Â
âItâs good to see that spark in your eyes again, Logan.â Charles says.Â
Logan huffs under his breath. âI guess my emotions are starting to show on my sleeve, huh?âÂ
Charles laughs, before moving on into the other room. âYouâve grown a lot since Iâve first met you, Logan. And I have her to thank.â
Logan looks down with a smile, reminiscing only a little bit. You really were something else.
It isnât long before he is lying down on the stone table with Kitty explaining everything to him. It all makes sense, but he canât shake the fact he will be the only one to remember this war: the trauma, the anger, the dread, the grief. Even when this war will have no bearing on the new world he hopes to come back to, he will still live with that pain.Â
âAlright, Logan. Calm your mind and think peaceful thoughts. This may sting a little.â He can hear the uneasiness in Kittyâs voice, but he is ready. There is no pain he canât endure.
He closes his eyes and thinks about the happier times. Some of his fondest memories are of him simply waking up to watch the sun rays glide across your body in the morning. How you would curl more into his chest and mumble words with no connection whatsoever. How you would wake up, kiss his chest and keep going until your lips met his. He would always ask you to use your gift in those moments, wanting to hold you just a little longer before the day started. You were his little piece of heaven.
Even as he feels Kittyâs hands beside his head, he thinks maybe before he wakes up, heâll dream as his mind travels. Heâll dream of better times and that alone would hold him over during the impending pain. Because what he wouldnât give to have you in his arms again. Thatâs all he wants.Â
His hand grips onto the ring attached to his dog tags, holding it close as he prepares to enter a different time full of the unpredictable.Â
This is for you, baby. I will save you this time.
And with that thought, the hot pain scorches his temples and sets fire to his mind and then he is gone.
The Algonquin Hotel; New York City, NY; Year 1973
Music. Soft, calming music enters his conscience. It greets his mind, carefully shaking him awake. Then there is the sunlight. It is warm against his skin and he can feel it greeting him, telling him it is time to start the day. It all felt too familiar, and he thought he was dreaming. He felt something draped over his neck. It wasnât heavy but there was a weight to it. He lifted his hand to touch and the moment he felt another hand, he smiled. Yes, I am definitely dreaming because here she is. He brought your dainty hand to his lips, kissing it gently as he intertwined his fingers with yours.Â
But the moment is short lived as his other senses kick in. He took one inhale and knew immediately something wasnât right. He turns to lay flat on his back, and he canât help but curse under his breath. He feels like he is waking up to the pre-walk of shame as he looks at the woman beside him. He recognizes her, someone he had bodyguarded for a period of time and occasionally let her warm his bed. Well, he let her do a lot more than that.Â
If only he had the foresight to have kept it in his pants.Â
He sets her arm to her side and attempts to get out of the bed. He feels the water hold him back, and he groans deeply. Whoever invented water beds can fuck off.
He stands to his feet, taking in his surroundings. He recognizes the room and knows heâs in the Algonquin. The room has its signature set up, with its warm tones on the walls and floor, the plant hanging from the ceiling. Heâs been in this room before, or at least another copy of it. He sees the mirror between the two windows, and he walks up to see his reflection.Â
Holy shitâŚ
He looks the same, but the differences are prominent. The gray that was once at the corners of his hair and beard were gone. His head of hair looked fuller and was back to his original brown state. His body didnât look much different, but he felt rejuvenated. It looked like his body hadnât endured much. He looks down further and canât help but smirk. Heh, still got it.
His sights go to the window, and he peeks through the blinds, only to once again let expletives fall quietly from his lips. He knew it had worked, but seeing Times Square without its vast array of screens made him take a step back. There is a strange emotion forming in his chest, and while he canât describe it, he can tell itâs good.
âHoly shit,â he mutters in awe, taking in all the minute details. âIt worked.â
He feels relief, as well as curiosity as he scans the city in its older form. Charles had said he was a very different man during this time. He wonders what he will be walking into, and how he will prepare for the moment where Charles will think heâs full of shit.Â
But his mind drifts as he looks down onto the street, street musicians on the side playing their instruments for spare change. He remembers you telling him that was something you did for a while with empty storage containers and food bins as makeshift drums⌠right here in the city.
His heart aches at the thought that you are out there somewhere, living your life day by day like nothing was wrong. You had told him you had a bit of a rebellious streak in the 70s, especially when you were playing music with a bunch of punks most nights and living out of a van. It reminded him a lot of himself, how he would have some kind of gig to make money and then go home to his trashy, beat up trailer.Â
He always told you how he would have killed to see you in those times, and now that heâs here heâs tempted. Maybe he could leave right now and take a quick peak around the city. He wouldnât even interact with you. He just wants to see you breathing and alive. He wants to see you living your life to the fullest, even if it pains him to not interfere.
He scoffs at himself, shaking his head and releasing the blind shade. No. He came here to do one thing, and that was to find Charles and Erik. He knows that if he plays his cards right, everything will turn out okay. The mutant population will continue to thrive, his friends will be alive, and you will continue to be by his side. Logan knows good things come to those that wait, so he will wait for you. Even if it fucking sucks to do so.
He goes to put on his pants, deep blue jeans with a big belt buckle, something he wore often. Some things really donât change, do they?
He finishes covering himself, and the second his belt is strapped into place, he hears the door open. He turns to see three men standing by, talking loudly at the woman to get dressed as they stare him down.
Fuck.
Alleyway off of East 17th Street; New York, NY
âFuck!â
You shoot up from your van seat, the thumping on the door startling you awake. You groan, holding your head as you blink slowly. You turn and see a cop at your window, signaling for you to roll the glass down. You grab the lever, rotating it slowly before squinting up at the man.
âMaâam, you cannot park nor sleep here,â he emphasizes, snark laced in his voice. âYou need to get moving.â
You see him whip out his ticket book, a quick scribble before he rips it and hands it over to you.Â
âWhat? No warning?â You say defensively. âYou gotta understand I was drunk last night. No points for not drinking and driving?â
He looks you up and down, grimacing at your attire. âFor cretins like you, absolutely not. Unless you want to dispute the ticket in court, pay the fine.â He turns away, no consideration or anything.Â
You scoff as he turns to leave, and you roll your window up quickly. You watch as he walks away, and you bring your hand up, curling your fingers in. Everything slows down before freezing all together, only to then reverse in swift motion. You watch the cop rework his steps as time turns back, and you keep going until you see him drive back from which he came. You continue to let time go, so youâd have enough of it to get the hell out of the alley, before releasing your fingers. Time slows again and then it goes on like nothing has changed. You glance at the ticket, noting he had filled the ticket out prior before to scaring the daylights out of you.
âFucking pig,â you jeer, crumbling the ticket up and throwing it to the back.Â
You start up the van, pulling out of the alley slowly before turning onto the busy street. There was high traffic per usual, people pushing to get to their jobs. You glance at the clock to see it is nine in the morning, and hum at the amount of time you have before your gig tonight. You are tempted to find another place to park, to sleep off the dreadful hangover plaguing your head. You knew taking all those shots the night prior was a terrible idea, but the drinks kept coming after such a good show. It helps too that your mutation keeps everything in check, a fact that makes you grin.
Being able to control time, rhythm and pace come naturally to you. You are always able to keep a perfect tempo and can change it up at your will. While punk music has never been about perfection, it always helps that you can pull everyone back in if things get too out of hand. People tell you youâre a prodigy, but if only they knew. Your bandmates donât even know, and while you know they would embrace you, you felt it was always better to keep things hidden. Especially since you tend to use your power to save your ass far too often.
You decide to drive to central park, thinking some fresh air would stop your head from pulsing. You make a turn onto 44th Street, wanting to get to the main road for a straight shot to your new location. However, as you drive down, you start to feel strange. Your head was pulsing more, like your mind was trying to break down a door to give you a warning. It becomes borderline painful, and you canât help but pull over onto the side of the street.Â
You put your hazards on, opening the door before getting to the sidewalk. You squat down, dry heaving a little as you work to calm your mind down. You shut your eyes, rubbing your temples to ease the ache. And then as quickly as it came, it stopped. Your eyes open, looking around to see you are in front of the Algonquin.Â
What the fuck?
âI must have really outdone myself last night,â you mutter under your breath, standing up fully to get back into the van.
You get in and go to turn the hazards off, but you stop when you notice a man walking out of the hotel. You watch as he walks with purpose, getting into what looks to be a green 1970 Buick LaSabre. Your brain glitches, trying to process something that doesnât exist. You donât know him. Youâve never seen the man before. So why is your brain acting like you do?
You watch him drive off with a screech, and you watch until he is no longer in sight. You stare off into the distance for a minute, thinking what the hell just happened. It was new, and it isnât like anything youâve ever experienced. The aftermath settles in your chest with a weird sense of longing and it makes you even more confused.
I definitely drank too much last night.
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY
Logan knew the peaceful thoughts wouldnât come easy, but god damn the entire morning has been far from peaceful.Â
The altercation at the hotel ended with the three men on the floor, dead or alive he wasnât sure. He couldâve handled it better, but the shock from seeing his old claws and the excruciating pain from the bullets sent him into a frenzy. He had truly forgotten how painful bullets felt when his bones werenât covered in metal.Â
Driving from New York City to Westchester didnât help his mood. Heâd rather suffer a thousand stab wounds than drive in traffic and deal with dumbass drivers. The only upside was he had time to think about his approach with Charles, and how he was going to convince him that he was serious. He had a pretty good idea of what he needed to say and was feeling confident. As long as there were no obstacles, he could get this done.Â
But that all shattered when Hank opened the damn door. He hadnât even considered his presence, but Hank was a pretty understanding guy. Heâd understand, right?
Boy was he wrong.Â
He definitely underestimated how strong Hank was, especially after seeing him as a younger man. Their tussle had landed him onto the marble table in the center of the foyer and with Hank roaring at him from the chandelier. It was no surprise that the one person who still lives here came out: Charles.
Loganâs first thought after looking at Charles was how much of a bum he appeared to be. He wasnât one to judge, but to see his mentor in such rough shape was perplexing. It looked like the optimism he always held so close was far gone, which was made clear when he laughed in Loganâs face.
Charles did say he would need to be patient with him, but fuck he was a pain in the ass. Logan understood, as he wasnât much better when he arrived at the mansion, but if he was this much of an ass as Charles is now, God help him.
At this moment, he was working answers out of Hank, trying to piece something together that would convince Charles that what he was saying is true. Then he heard footsteps from the stairs.
âIâll help you. Iâll help you get to Raven.â
Which now leaves them all in Charlesâs old office, discussing plans on how to retrieve Erik without getting caught. Erik had explained where he was before Logan got here, but now knowing what he did to get there makes this more complicated. Not that it already wasnât, but it is for certain that his cell will be guarded to hell and back.
Once again, fucking bastards.
âWhat resources do we have?â Logan asks, hoping that Charles or Hank know someone with an ability to get them in and out.Â
âWellâŚâ Charles draws out. âI may know one person who could do it, but she will need some convincing. If we can find her, that is.â Charles chuckles, his hand rubbing his face in disbelief.
Hankâs eyes go wide. âYou donât meanâŚâ
âSheâs the only person that could pull it off, with her mutation and all.â Charles goes to stand, taking a swig of his whiskey in the process.
âWho is she?â Logan asks curiously, the odd mix of dismay and confidence in their tones intriguing. However, the second he hears your name, he freezes.Â
âWhat?â Logan says with uneasiness, something the other two donât pick up on.
âShe was a recruit back when Erik and I were forming a team to fight against Sebastian Shaw.â Charles explains.
âShe can control time,â Hank jumps in enthusiastically. âMove it forward, backward, stop it all at once.âÂ
âShe left shortly after Cuba,â Charles takes a drink with that. âShe said she didnât want to be at odds with Erik and I.â
âIs there anyone else we could use?â Logan interjects quickly. The idea of seeing you is oh so tempting, but there is a fear that any sort of interaction with you will tear you away from him. To see you is one thing. To interact with you is another.
âThere are mutants that can stop time telepathically, but she can do it all, which is why she is our best bet.â Charles adds, waving his hand like he is explaining something complicated. âThe only problem is I have no idea where she went. I havenât seen or heard from her in over a decade.â
Logan canât help but scrunch his face, biting the inside of his cheek in contemplation. He knows he canât let his selfishness get in the way of the lives at stake. If you really are the best bet to get Erik out, then so be it.Â
âFine, but we just use her to get Erik. After that, she is done.â
âWell, we have to find her first.â Charles shrugs. âI canât use my powers, so we will need to find an alternative.â
âWe have a phone book.â Hank suggests, already walking to the stack of books behind the sofa.Â
âThat is not going to help, but she was in a band around this time right here in New York.â Logan says, looking at Hank as he grabs the phone book. âShe was playing gigs most nights in 1973.â
Charles and Hank look at one another, seemingly perplexed by this new knowledge. âHow do you know this?â Charles speaks for them both.
âLetâs just say she becomes a protege of sorts for you in the future.â Logan leaves out the rest. This wasnât the time to get into the details of his relationship. âI know the band name. We can call popular hole in the wall venues around the city to see if her band is playing tonight.â
âIâll start looking through and making calls,â Hank offers, and sits down at Charlesâ desk.
âLet us know if you find anything. The minute we know something, we leave.â Logan says.Â
Logan leaves before a response is given and goes outside. The sun is bright, surprisingly not too cold for this time of year. He leans against the old brick, taking out a cigar he magically had in his pocket along with a lighter he had snatched off the desk. He cuts the end with his claw, and lets it sink back in as he puts it to his lips. He goes to light, his hand a little shaky but he eventually gets a good burn going, the taste entering pleasantly into his mouth and lungs.
He puffs out some smoke, sighing at how the events of today have turned. He had made the decision not to see you, and now he is going to have to. Itâs a double-edged sword; he gets to see the beautiful woman he fell in love with, while also taking the risk of altering his and your future together. So many what ifâs: what if something bad happens to you? What if you all get caught and you get sent to prison? What if you somehow realize you donât like him in this timeline?
What if you die and he canât save you again?
That thought alone makes him choke a little, lost in so much thought the smoke overwhelmed him. No, he canât think like that. There is too much on the line for his emotions to play games. Besides, maybe in the end, regardless of if he ends up miserable, youâd wake up in the future safe.
He just wants everyone he loves safe.
Maxâs Kansas City Nightclub; Manhattan, NY.Â
Logan has been to many different nightclubs. Having been a bodyguard for hire, these types of places were nothing out of the ordinary. There were plenty of young women he was hired to watch, ones that wanted to rebel a little, that would come to these clubs to have a taste of freedom. They all had the same shit: drugs, alcohol, sex, and bad decisions.
He was starting to feel the latter.
It isnât that he disagrees with Charles. Your mutation is powerful and would create easy access to Erikâs hold cell. You are the obvious choice. However, he canât stop debating with himself on if dragging you into this will change the future; one where you and him are never to be. The thought alone makes his stomach turn.
Along with that, just seeing you in the flesh is enough to send him into disarray. Logan is far from a nervous man, but it has felt like an eternity since heâs seen your face. One look at you and he may not be able to hold it together.Â
Him and Charles are sitting at the bar, nursing their shitty whisky. It burns the same, and by this time Logan is finishing his fourth glass, waving down the bartender for a fifth.
âListen,â he hears Charles yell over the loud crowd. âI know you can hold your liquor but you should probably slow down.â
âTrust me, bub,â Logan shoots the fifth round down his throat, swallowing quickly. âYouâll want me as loose as possible for this.â
âWhat is with you? Is this about her?â Charles nods to the empty stage. âYou acted very strange when discussing her today. Were you two close?âÂ
Logan looks down into his glass, his mouth opening and shutting not knowing what to say. It doesnât matter, however, because before he can make a decision, drums are starting to beat down heavily.Â
â1, 2, 3, 4!â
Drums start bumping, along with guitar and bass chords. The crowd starts running to the back where the stage is located, jumping and vibrating to the music. Logan looks to the stage, and lo and behold there you are on the drum kit.Â
Even when you were no longer playing with a group, you played a lot at the mansion. You often taught music classes for students who just wanted to have some fun. It was also your way of releasing some steam. Charles had to soundproof the music room so your constant drum smashing wouldnât cause a disturbance.Â
But here you are, keeping perfect tempo as you keep up your rhythm. Seeing you in your element was so much more than he thought. You were an animal on those drums, totally submerged in your performance. You were smiling, interacting with other band members during each song. Whether it be adding vocals, doing theatrics with your drumsticks, or silly banter, you looked like you were meant to be up there.Â
âSheâs really good!â Charles yells over the music, and Logan can only nod. He is immersed in you, his nerves gone as he takes you in. He missed you so badly that seeing you again has given him some grace. He needs to be careful, but right now it doesnât matter. He just wants to enjoy seeing you happy and alive.Â
The set goes on for another twenty minutes, the songs short and quick. The crowd was getting more rowdy as the set continued. They were shouting lyrics back, heads rocking and popping as they jumped around. He sees you looking out into the crowd, only for your eyes to meet his own and then to his right. Your eyes went wide, and he turned to see Charles lifting his hand with a small wave.Â
âWell, the cats out of the bag.â Charles mutters, not leaving eye contact with you.
Logan sees the shock in your features, and can sense you picking up the tempo slightly. Your bandmates didnât seem to mind, however, as they picked it up as well and the crowd seemed to love it. The last cord plays, and the crowd cheers.
âWeâd like to thank yâall for coming. Goodnight!â The vocalist said before the band walked off the small stage. You, on the other hand, didnât follow.Â
He watched you make your way through the throngs of people. The look on your face is unclear, but the moment you are in front of him, itâs like itâs just you two.
He fully takes you in. You looked about the same, maybe a little younger. You were wearing jeans with holes at the knees, beat up converse, and a white v-neck that revealed your collarbones quite nicely. A black leather jacket, that has seen better days, pulls it all together. There was a sheen of sweat at your temples, creating a shine in the baby hairs. Logan only had two thoughts in his head: that he desperately wishes he could pull you into his embrace and that you looked so sexy like this.
So incredibly sexy.
âWell, look what the cat dragged in.â You smirked, hands on your hips.Â
âI must say this is a pleasant surprise.â Charles laughs, standing up from his seat. âItâs so good to see you, darling.â
âItâs good to see you too, and walking for that matter!â You pulled him in, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek. It makes Logan shift slightly, a little jealousy lingering even though there is nothing he could do about it.Â
You let Charles go, and you look at Logan, quirking your head as your eyes scan him up and down. He keeps his eyes on you, not budging.
âSo Charles, whoâs your friend?âÂ
âAh, yes, well this here is-â
âLogan.���
Loganâs eyes go wide when your hands shoot to your head, gasping as you grip your head. He reaches out, wanting to do something to ease whatever is going on, but as soon as it starts, it stops.
âFuck, Iâm sorry. I must have really overdone it with the drinking last night.â You mumbled.
Logan smirks. âA real party animal, huh?âÂ
âMore like donât know when to quit,â you sigh. âSo, how did you know that I was playing here tonight? Or better yet, how did you even know I was doing this? Keep tabs on me up there?âÂ
âActually, Logan mentioned it. He-â Charles starts, but Logan is quick to hit his back, making him double over from the impact.
âWhat he means is it is a long story, and we should go somewhere else to discuss it.â Logan says with urgency, hoping his tone takes your attention away from how heâs acting.
âWhy not talk about it here?â You shrug, going to the bar to order a drink. âThe night is still young.â
âThis conversation needs to be for your ears only. It is highly confidential.â Charles interjects.
âHmm,â you donât look at him, finally getting the bartenderâs attention. âTrying to drag me back into some bullshit, Charles?â
âBullshit that could save everyoneâs life, sweetheart.â Logan says. He isnât used to your slight indifference, but it is something he is going to have to get used to. You are a different person during this time, after all.
You turn back to them, sighing before you lift your hand up, middle finger and thumb pressed together before snapping. Everything stops instantly. Drinks that are being poured freeze. People talking with others go still with mouths open trying to get the next word. The lights stop flickering, some looking to be out while others keep the light.Â
Time goes still. Except for the three of them.
His eyes go to look at you, where you are wearing a smug look.Â
âMy ears only, right?â You say, lifting your drink like you are cheering for something. âSo start talking.â
The Pentagon; Arlington, VA
The Pentagon was incredibly crowded, which was to be expected. Tours were taking place. People were rushing to get to their posts. Security was at each corner of the building. There is a lot of commotion, yet you knew this would be a piece of cake. And yet, you couldnât believe you had agreed to do this.Â
When Logan had explained he was from the future, a future where everyone will eventually become slaughtered, it took you aback. It was hard to think about. You knew the U.S. Government has an aversion to mutants, but to create a weapon to wipe them clean with Ravenâs DNA? You shouldnât be surprised, not with everything currently going on, but you are.
The plane ride was fairly quiet. Hank and Charles were in the cockpit, leaving Logan and you in the main lounging area. You had noticed Logan looking at you quite a bit throughout the quick ride. It was like he wanted to say something, but he couldnât. You couldâve sworn you saw something akin to pining in his eyes, but you brushed it off. You didnât know if it was his way of figuring you out, or if there was something else.Â
You wondered if you and him are connected somehow. With the headaches coinciding around Logan, you couldnât help but wonder if your mutation is doing something new, something it couldnât do before because you have never met a time traveler. Not until now.Â
Maybe you will get answers later. Right now, you have a job to do.Â
You are standing in the middle of the Pentagonâs main sector, mentally preparing yourself for this. You would have to hold time for thirty minutes, enough time for Charles and Hank to reach and retrieve Erik from his cell. This only gives them fifteen in and fifteen out.
âAre you sure about this?â You hear Logan say from beside you. âWe can find another way if it is going to be too much.â
He sounds so sincere, and it oddly does something for you. Here is a man you donât know much about caring about your wellbeing. For someone of his apparent nature, it is endearing.Â
âIâll be fine, but I appreciate you caring enough to ask.â You smile at him, and the smile he gives back makes your stomach flutter. Just a little bit.Â
âAlright here goes nothing.â You turn to look at Charles and Hank. âThe second everything stops, grab an authorized personnel card off of one of the security guards and go quickly.âÂ
âAnd youâre sure we are the best people to do this?â Charles mutters, looking torn.
You smirk at him. âOh, Charles. You may not realize this. but he cares about you. Maybe this is the reunion you need.âÂ
âI doubt it,â he grumbles but nods at you to go on.
You look forward, hands slightly in front of you before snapping your fingers. It isnât instant like it usually is. It travels, people coming to a stop before everything is completely still and silent. It takes a lot of focus and precision on your part. Youâve never had to freeze an entire building, let alone one that runs so deep.Â
As told, Charles and Hank make quick work, grabbing a card from a guard right by the door they needed to go through. Once the door shut, it was just you and Logan, who had insisted he stay in case something happens.
You sense his eyes on you again, just as he had on the plane. Minutes pass, and you think maybe he will say something, but no. Itâs just radio silence. You could handle it on the plane, but right now? Absolutely not.
You roll your eyes at his behavior. âYou psychoanalyzing me or something? I can multitask, you know.â
Logan moves so he is facing you, and he is only two steps away from you. You notice he is much taller than you, maybe by a foot. His attire is oddly fitting for someone from the future. The brown leather, the feather pattern on his shirt, and god the big ass belt buckle with blue jeans that fit his legs so nicely. You had to ask.
âSo, if you are from the future, I gotta ask: did you come dressed like that?âÂ
He looks down at what he is wearing, inspecting himself. âWhatâs wrong with how Iâm dressed?â
He looked so self-conscious. It was cute. âNot at all. Just not something I expected someone from the future to wear.â
âWell, technically I am in my younger selfâs body. This is how I dressed in 1973.â He chuckles. âI guess I still dressed like this though, before everything went to shit.â
âSo, you an old man now or something?âÂ
He smirks at you. âIâm probably older than your great grandfather, sweetheart.â
Your eyes widen at that statement. âIs that your mutation? Being immortal?â
âAmongst other things,â he holds out his hand, and within a blink of an eye claws are coming out from in between his knuckles. You tilt your head in awe, admiring the bones that are tinted yellow. He then lets them sink back in, the wounds healing instantly.
âRegenerative healing. Thatâs pretty neat,â you say. âStill must hurt though.â
âEvery time,â Logan hums. âBut you get used to it.âÂ
âI see,â you murmur, not knowing what to say after that. Luckily, Logan keeps going.
âYou must practice a lot for you to stop time in a place like this.â
You canât help the chuckle that slips your lips. âI wouldnât call it practice. I just get myself into stupid situations.â
Logan grins, taking a step closer to you. âYeah? Like what?â
âWell, a few weeks ago we got into a tussle with the police. They decided to start some shit at another club we were playing at. Gave me a black eye even.â You answered, oddly making light of the memory.
âBet you still looked just as pretty,â Logan joked, but with the way he was looking at you, youâd think he was being serious.
âY-yeah,â you stutter. âBut then they started making arrests. Thatâs when I shifted time back. Warned my bandmates before they came in. They were confused about the black eye though.â
This made Logan laugh, and you swear your heart did a double take. Why was this man affecting me like this?
âI like the idea of you getting a little rough. Itâs very different.â Logan purrs, and before you can ask what he means, you feel your powers start to weaken.
âShit,â you curse, hands clenching in front of you.Â
âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
You grunt in response, trying to pull yourself together. âHow long has it been since theyâve left? Shouldnât they be back by now?â
âItâs been about thirty minutes,â he confirms. âYou are certain time has stopped in this entire building?â
âIâm very certain. I wouldnât be struggling right now if it werenât.â You say with gritted teeth, getting lightheaded. âLogan, I told them thirty minutes. If I hold on any longer, Iâll pass out.â
Logan is looking around, searching for something before he takes off in a path you canât see. You are breathing heavily, trying hard to focus but you can feel yourself slipping. Itâs like you are on a cliff holding onto loose rocks waiting for them to slip.Â
âOkay look at me, baby.â
Baby?
You look to see he is holding a key card. He holds your attention, nodding to the door Charles and Hank went through. âWe are going to walk over to the door. Iâm going to open it with this. When I do, let go.âÂ
âFuck, what if we get caught?â You whimper, the mental pain starting to get stronger.Â
âI wonât let that happen again.âÂ
Again?
Before you could contemplate his words, heâs got his arm wrapped around your torso. His left hand holds your leather clad wrist, keeping you steady as two start to walk.
âSmall steps, small steps. Thatâs right,â Logan encourages, keeping pace with you as you walk slowly.Â
Heâs holding you gingerly, like you will break if he lets go. Itâs strange but you welcome it. You've never had anyone hold you with such care before. You were rough around the edges. Most people think you can handle anything, but itâs almost as if Logan has done this before; a common feeling youâve had ever since you laid eyes on him.
He stopped at the door, pulling the keycard from his left pocket and scanning it. The light blinks green and he pushes it, keeping it open with his foot as he looks at you.
âYou ready?âÂ
You nod slightly. âJust tell me when.â
âNow!â
You immediately drop your hands, and Logan is shoving you through the threshold. You gasp holding onto your chest as Logan keeps his grip on you so you donât fall. You take a deep breath, calming yourself down enough to keep going.Â
âWe need to get moving. We will get caught if we stay here.â
Logan nods, letting go of you to look at the map beside the door. You miss his touch already.
âWe need to get to this elevator,â he points to the elevator in the south wing. âItâll take us to the kitchen that leads to the lower cell.â
Without another word, you two are running. You put your hands up again, freezing time again but only in the areas you two are passing. It makes your brain fuzzy, but you push on. Logan looks back at you from time to time to check on you, worry evident on his face.
âIâm fine, keep going!â You press.Â
Before you two know it, you are both at the elevator. Logan is clicking the button repeatedly like itâll come faster, and within a few seconds it opens. You both rush in there, and Logan repeats his treatment to the closing button before the doors ultimately close.Â
You lean against the metal wall, taking a deep breath and praying to whatever God is listening that no one gets on this damn elevator. You donât know if you have it in you to protect you and Logan if someone gets on.Â
Luck was on your side, however. The elevator dinged, and when you looked up you saw it was listed as the floor you were getting off on. A sigh of relief escapes your lips, but it gets sucked back into your throat when you hear alarms. The elevator doors open and a multitude of men with chef kitchen attire run in completely drenched.Â
Before either of you get crushed by the masses, you grab Loganâs hand and yank him out. You hear more commotion coming from down the hall, yelling and crashing. You walk past Logan, jogging towards the noise. You make it to the door, hearing the voices loud and clear, and you bust in to see the insanity.Â
The kitchen was a wreck. The water is still coming as the alarm blares on. You see Hank trying to pull Charles off of Erik, but he wonât budge. Everything is a mess, and something about it sends you spiraling.
âOh fuck no!â
You are hurling yourself at these men. You grab Charlesâs jacket, and with the help of Hank yank him off of Erik. Hank flies to the floor, and you slam Charles to the wall. He looks so pitiful, and it makes you sick.
âI said thirty fucking minutes,â you seethe. âMy power has limits, and this is the reason you all pushed them today? Because you couldnât help yourself?â
Charles is silent, looking at you with complete guilt. Good, you think. He should feel fucking guilty.
âI could have passed out. You are so lucky I had Logan, or your ass would be going to prison.â
You let go of him, shoving him more into the wall as a warning, and turn to the other two knuckleheads. Hank and Erik are standing, looking at you in shock. They are really about to be in shock, however, because you werenât done.
âYou,â you pointed at Hank. âI know you hate your mutation, but your self-hatred almost fucked us all. I know you arenât that fucking weak, especially to pull his scrawny ass off of that dumbass.â
âWell, itâs good to see you too-â you hear Erik start. You donât let him finish.
âAnd you,â you shout, walking up to him and gripping the white prison uniform at the collars. âI know you are probably very shocked to see all of us. However, and understand this clearly, you do as we say. I am not about to have my future or anyone elseâs fucked up because of you. You hear me?âÂ
Erik smirks at you. âYes, maâam.â God, you wish you could wipe that look off his face.
You huff, shoving him away from you. âLetâs get out before we get caught.âÂ
âIt might be too late for that.â You hear Charles say, and you turn to see five Pentagon security members, plastic guns drawn.
âCharles,â Erik calls out. âDo something, Charles.â
âI canât,â Charles says under his breath.
âHands up or we will shoot!â One of the security officers yells, their fingers right on the trigger.
You groan at how worthless everyone is acting, and using your anger, you snap your fingers and immediately clench your fists. The cops freeze in place, and you are panting as your muscles suck up all the oxygen in your body.
âSomeone better knock them out before I give out and-â you are cut off by the sound of a pan connecting to skulls.Â
Logan was knocking these men out with ease, his strength apparent as the metal clangs. He is moving like a natural, arm swinging precisely to hit each man standing. It was captivating and watching him breathing in and out in his drenched clothes was very hot. You could feel your underwear start to cling to you, and you knew it wasnât just from the water coming from the sprinklers.
You let go, hands going to your knees as you catch your breath once again. Logan is immediately by your side.
âLetâs get out of here,â Logan commands, and he wraps his arms around your torso to sit you straight up.
âI got you, sweetheart. Just hold onto me,â Logan says in a low tone, like talking any louder would disturb the already broken peace.
Without a word, you grip onto him and you two walk out of the kitchen to the elevator. The others are waiting for you two, keeping the elevator open and soon enough you are all in.Â
Itâs amazing to you that you all made it out. Charles was smart enough to know to go through a back exit, and luckily Erik was able to move the cameras to face a different direction. It was as if none of you were ever there, other than the fact those security officers saw you. Youâre hoping Logan hit them hard enough for them to forget.
Charles had parked the rental car close by, shoving yourselves in before going off onto the road. You are in the middle in the backseat, with Logan still holding you close. Erik was to you right, working to put on the jacket and hat Charles had brought to make him less recognizable.Â
Well, less recognizable to fucking idiots maybe.
âAlright, where to now?â Erik asks, still trying to get the jacket on in the packed backseat.
âWe need to get her home.â Logan replies.
âWhat?!â You shout, feeling complete disbelief. âWhy am I going home?!â
âListen, thank you for your help. But this is dangerous, and you shouldnât get mixed up in it.â Logan continues, his tone a lot more serious than it has been today.Â
âI just fucking infiltrated the Pentagon and now you are worried about dragging me into this mess?âÂ
Logan is quiet, and you only get more pissed off. Who the hell does he think he is?Â
You push his arm off of you, twisting your body so you are looking directly at him. âI donât know if you noticed, but if I werenât there today, you all wouldâve been fucked. I care about what happens, and yâall need me. So, I apologize but Iâm fucking coming.â
Loganâs shoulders drooped, his hand going to rub his face. He breathes out, as if heâs trying to calm himself down, before turning to look out the window.
âFine.â
âGood, so we are in agreement.â You say, before laying back against the middle cushion.Â
You let your eyes close as the sounds of the cars and bumps of the road lull you to rest. The chill from the water sets in, and subconsciously you find yourself wishing those strong, warm arms that had held you so much today would wrap around you once more.
The Atlantic Ocean
Fucking bastards.
Logan doesnât understand how Charles and Erik were ever friends. Imagining them as anything but seemed easier. Maybe itâs the full rage of testosterone in their younger bodies. It would explain the extreme yelling, bickering, anger, grief. He understands the need to release all of that, but he already hates flying. Getting the man who can control metal upset isnât a great idea in an aircraft.Â
Things eventually calm down, but whatâs left is now a mess of broken glass and ceramic. Charles exits the lounge to go to the cockpit, and at the angle Logan is at he can see Charles with his head in his hands. He feels bad truthfully, seeing him so broken down and beaten up isnât easy. It reminds him a lot of himself. Looking at Erik, who looks like he hadnât been in a prison for almost a decade, irritates him slightly. But what irritates him more is that he almost crashed the fucking plane.
âSo, you were always an asshole.âÂ
As if on cue, he hears the door to the backroom open and you walk out. You are rubbing your eyes, holding onto the wall as your eyes double take on the view.Â
âLooks like I missed something eventful,â you yawn, walking over to start picking up broken glass.
âHey, donât do that. Let him do it,â Logan says, pulling a cigar out and putting it under the lighterâs flame. âHe did this. Let him pick this shit up.â
Erik puts his hand up, letting you know heâs got it. As he starts cleaning up, Logan watches you carefully walk over to sit across the table from him. You lean across it, crossing your arms as you leave your eyes on him. âGive him a break. Heâs been through a lot.â
Logan looks your way, taking another puff of his cigar. âYeah, and he couldâve killed us.â
You shrug, leaning back into the seat while keeping eye contact. âCouldnât have been that bad. I woke up to the plane flying smoothly.â
Logan takes another puff, a grin wanting to desperately pull onto his lips. Still a heavy sleeper.
âI think you just sleep like the dead,â Logan jokes, leaning forward with his elbows settling on the table.
âI guess.â Your head turned to the window, eyes closing and opening in slow succession. âBut seriously, what did we expect? They may have similar ideals for mutant kind, but they are different sides of the same coin. Iâm sure seeing one another after a whole decade makes it hard to keep everything bottled up.â
Logan nods in agreement because he can relate. When he saw you for the first time after what felt like a lifetime, it took everything in him not to pull you in. Even now, watching you as the light reflects on your face, he wishes he could seat you in his lap like he would after a long day of training. Having his arms around you as you curled into his side, feeling your warmth against him, made everyday worth living.Â
There was some reprieve when he was helping you after you stretched your powers to your limits, but he longs for you. He longs for your body, your kisses, your comfort, your love. He longs to show you how much you mean to him, to tell you he loves you. It is too much sometimes, especially in the kitchen at the Pentagon. Seeing how aggressive you were and smelling your scent change to something of want is making everything so much harder. He was already so worked up, he could have easily snapped, but he didnât and it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad.Â
There is a part of him that wishes you werenât here, so he could finally focus, but in reality he is thankful you chose to stay. He knows it is for selfish reasons, but at the same time he knew theyâd be lost without you. You give him the strength to keep going; the strength to push forward, even when itâs painful to keep everything he wants to do and say inside. So, he gets it. He gets it so much.
Logan notices you looking at him, and realizes he was staring. He coughs, trying to hide his embarrassment as he puts the cigar to his lips.Â
âSo, is that why you didnât join either of them after Cuba?âÂ
Your smile is small, like you were reminiscing. âBoth had very good points, and it makes sense why they believe the way that they do. Charles tends to see the best in people and Erik sees the worst.â
âSo, you couldnât pick a side?â
âI was only seventeen at the time,â you say. âI wasnât about to let two grown men tell me what to do, and Iâm glad I didnât. Iâm not their keeper.âÂ
âSmart girl.â
You laugh at this, and it feels like dopamine is being injected into his brain. This is the first time he has felt⌠Joy? Happiness? He could listen to it for days.
âYou said they sent you here together. Do they actually become friends again?â
Logan sends a small smile your way, but shakes his head. âItâs complicated.â And it really is. Logan is sure that if the Sentinelâs never came to be, they would still be at some sort of odds against each other. âLike you said, same coin, different sides.â
âI see,â you start to tap your fingers against the table, a nervous habit Logan had picked up on when you two met the first time. âSince we are talking, you never answered my question.â
Logan lifts an eyebrow in confusion, not realizing anything was asked.Â
âThe other night at Maxâs. Charles said you knew where to find me. How did you know?â
Logan only hums, taping his cigar to let the ash pool into the crystal tray. He feels like revealing anything about the future is a bad omen, but his restraint is wearing thin, and he canât help but relent.
âYou told me.â
âSo, we know each other in the future?â
Oh, you donât even know the half of it, sweetheart.
âWe do,â Logan breathes out.Â
You leaned in closer, your jaw in your hands. âAre we friends?â
Not quite. âSure, yeah. Weâre friends.â
âAre we close?â You are smiling big, teeth showing. He missed that smile.Â
âVery close,â he leans in towards you, faces a few inches apart. âSo close that I know everything about you.â
âYeah?â Your eyes flash. âLike what?â
âAsk me something.â He is feeling cocky now.
âOkay,â you draw out, looking around as you contemplate, before your eyes shine back at him. âWhatâs my favorite band?âÂ
âThey donât exist yet. Not for another couple of decades.â
âWhat? Really?â You gasped.
âThe genre doesnât even exist yet,â Logan grinned, seeing you surprised going right to his head. âBut right now, it would probably be Velvet Underground.âÂ
âWow, youâre good.â You compliment. âOkay, how about my favorite color?â
âReally?â
âShould be easy if you know me so well.â
Logan vibrates, loving the back and forth happening between the two of you. âItâs blue. Dark blue especially because you love how the sky looks after the sun has set.â
You look down, and Logan wasnât having any of that, lifting your chin with one finger. He moves forward just an inch more. âYouâre going to have to ask something a little harder, sweetheart.â
You shy away from him, still staying close, a rush of pink added to your cheeks. Fuck, you are so beautiful.Â
âOkay, well,â you say, still looking away from him. âThere is something else I can do with my mutation. What is it that I can do?â
Logan knows this answer far too well. Itâs the only reason he was able to be with you as he is, even though he truly believes he wouldâve fallen in love with you regardless.
âYou can stop yourself from aging.â Logan whispers, not wanting the others to hear. âYou use time to stop the clock in your body. You did it for a year after Cuba to try and gain back the time that was lost.â
âI wanted to finish high school, as crazy as that sounds.â You chuckle.
âMore like you wanted to continue doing marching band,â Logan says, laughing as you smack his arm.Â
âOh God, you must really know me if you know that!â You cackle. âI started aging again after I graduated though.â
âWhy is that? Didnât want to stay seventeen forever?â Logan tries to make light of it, but he knows why. He always knows why.
âWell,â you paused, leaning back into your seat with your hands still on the table. âThe war in Vietnam got worse. There were a lot of boys I went to school with that got drafted, and they didnât make it. If they did, they came back completely altered. Made me realize this isnât a world worth living in for too long, I guess.â
âI get the feeling,â Logan responds, to which part he isnât sure.
âAnd now that I know that the future's so bleaker, is there really a reason to want to keep living for longer than you need to?â You were looking at him so genuinely, and it broke his heart.Â
He sets his cigar down in the tray and goes to take your hands into his with a squeeze. He looks right at you, hoping what heâs conveying reaches your ears with sincerity and hope. âWe can change that tomorrow, and when we do, you will have a reason to keep going.âÂ
The conversation continues for a while, going back to answering questions for you and seeing your face light up when he guesses correctly, and he does every single time. Itâs dark out now, the new day counting down to start. Logan can feel himself getting tired, but you? You were dozing off fast with your head against the plane's wall.Â
âHey,â Logan reaches over the table, shaking your shoulder. âYou should go lay down. We have a long day tomorrow.â
You yawn, stretching your limbs before blinking a few times. âAre you sure? I slept in for most of the day. You should take it.â
âI insist. Besides, Iâm sure you donât want to sleep in here with these bozos.â Logan looks in the direction of Erik and Charles, one sleeping in the chair and the other sprawled on the couch.
âI suppose youâre right, but will you be okay?âÂ
âIâm used to sleeping wherever, so this is nothing. Please, get some sleep.â
Logan watches you get up from your seat, walking over to him before leaning down to his ear. âGoodnight, Logan. Sweet dreams.â
He feels your lips against his cheek, and he inhales sharply. He turns to watch you go into the backroom, and after a long few seconds he releases in an exhale. He puts his head in his hands, rubbing his temples in some poor attempt to calm himself, but his thoughts run fast and there is no stopping them.
He can feel himself close to snapping. Itâs like everything you do is calling him in, daring him to do something. He knows it is insane. You donât know him. If he were to do something, confess everything, what would that do for the future? Everything he says and does can change what the future holds, and a selfish part of him doesnât care. When it comes to you, he is a selfish bastard.
He leans back in his seat, closing his eyes. Tomorrow is the day things will be set right. When that happens, maybe he will wake up to a world where you are still there. He just needs to hold on a little longer.
Hotel Majestic; Paris, France; Day of the Paris Peace Accords
Getting into the hotel was surprisingly easy. You thought security wouldâve been on a high alert, but it was oddly empty. Everyone is able to walk around freely without worry, yet you are still on edge.Â
You donât know why, but youâve had an uneasy feeling ever since the plane landed. You keep relaying it back to nerves, but you know you are lying to yourself. Something isnât right, and the lack of security here is only making you feel worse.
âNot much security here for a big event like today,â Logan says.
âItâs still a hotel. Anyone can still stay here.â Charles responds. âWe still need to be careful though. Stay alert.â
You all make it to the staircase, and you see a map of the hotel. You point to the eastern wing, seeing how the third floor has a section for conference rooms. âTheir meeting is most likely happening somewhere here.â
âOkay, letâs get there quick. We are running out of time.â Logan says urgently, and with that everyone is running up the stairs.
Logan is ahead of everyone, and you take notice how much his demeanor changed. He is ultra-focused, his mind only on one thing, and you canât blame him. Youâre sure he is under an insane amount of pressure to ensure he pulls through given the future circumstances. However, youâve taken notice of how he keeps glancing at you with every chance he gets and it makes you wonder if there isnât something else going on in that head of his.
Before you can ponder more on it, you hear yelling. You hear things moving harshly and what sounds like bodies hitting the floor. You all take a turn and see a flood of Vietnamese, Russian, and American military personnel running out of a room you can only assume is where your target is: Raven.
You all enter the room, and everything happens so quickly. Ravenâs body hits the table, Charles is at her side, and Erik takes the tasers that latched to her body and gets them onto the man to the right of the table.
You hear a rapid beeping and to your left you see a man holding a device, red lines blaring as it goes off. You realize it is Trask, recognizing him from the papers.
You walk up, and before he can probably comprehend what is happening, you snatch the device from his hand. âIâll take thisâ
You arenât scared of him but you back away slowly, ensuring he cannot do anything behind your back. You hear another thump, and turn to see Logan against the wall breathing heavy with eyes screwed tight.
âLogan,â you speak up, walking towards him, but with a few steps in you feel a rush of pain to your head.
You collapse onto the floor, hands holding your head as you start to shake. The pain is sharp and static, forming at the base of your neck and wrapping around your head suffocatingly. You can hear someone calling your name, but it sounds distant.Â
âErikâŚâ you hear the fear in Ravenâs voice, and with all you can muster you look to see Erik holding a gun. The same one Raven had to kill Trask, now pointed at her head.
Your brain isnât comprehending anything Erik is saying, but his face is stone cold. Any hope that you were missing something was lost because you knew what he was going to do. It doesnât take a clear head to see that.
You try to put your hand up, attempting to stop Erik in his tracks. The second your fingers touch his ankle, he kicks it off and places his foot on your wrist. You moan in pain, his weight pressing down enough to bruise.
âIâm sorry, my dear. Iâm afraid you are out of commission.â Erik says calmly without taking a peep at you.
Everything happens in slow motion. The pressure is off your wrist, a gun shot sounds, and glass shatters. Your vision is blurry, your head feeling as if itâll pop off. The people in your vision blur together like paint bleeding in water. Voices are muddled and slow, but loud. You are in agony, and you just want everything to stop.
You start to hear more noise from the other side of the room, and you see Loganâs blurred silhouette on the floor with his back against the wall. His hands clenched in his lap with claws out, breathing rapidly like someone would when they are having a panic attack. You grunt, pushing yourself up on your hands and knees with your jaw clenching tightly as the pain spikes. You crawl towards him with intent, and all you can think is Logan helped you when you were growing weak. He needs someone, and you will help him. Even if it fucking kills you.Â
âLogan, please say something,â you grit through your teeth, biting back against the strong pulse in your head.
He is unresponsive, and your own panic rises. You both canât be down, not now. The fate of the world is happening at this very moment, and you arenât going to let this new ailment weaken you. You grab his left hand, being careful not to freak him out, and quickly change to have a grip on his wrists. You position yourself so youâre hovering over him, knees on either side of his thighs. His eyes are closed shut, his head shaking. It seemed like he was having a nightmare while still being awake.
âLogan, can you hear me?â You say with fast breaths, your head only getting worse, but still there is no response.
Fuck, I have to do something.Â
You decide to think fast. Maybe, just maybe, you can stop his internal clock, keeping him in place until you can figure out how to get him out of this. You are a little afraid to do it in his current state, not knowing if he will react before everything settles in, but you have no choice. Not unless you want him to cave in on himself. You will stay in pain if it means helping him.
âI got you, Logan. I got you,â you whisper with a tremor and put your hands to his temples, letting your power weasel its way through his mind. Your head clears instantaneously, the throbbing ebb dissipating, causing a sigh of relief to wash over you. However, that relief takes a turn into something startling.
You arenât sure whatâs happening. Logan wasnât freezing like you were anticipating, but something else was occurring. Your power feels different, like it was searching for something. Whatever you were doing, it seemed to be working. His breathing had slowed down, his claws retracted, and his body became lax against the wall.Â
The oddest part of all of this though is that you can see everything. Itâs like your mind has become a VCR, and a VHS tape of his best memories has been inserted. Itâs kind of nice to witness, seeing that even with all heâs gone through, things got better. However, the next thing you see makes your heart stop.
Everything is subdued, but you can tell he is outside on the lawn of Charlesâs mansion. Itâs bright out, and you see trees. You see young children running around playing, some using their mutations to get the upper hand in their games. And then he shifts, his eyes going to his side to see a figure beside him. His hand reaches out to them and the image clears.Â
Itâs you. Holy shit, itâs you!
You looked older. Not by much but maybe by a few years. The way youâre presented is more mature, but still has that edge. You honestly liked it, and liked the idea of who you would become.
His hand goes to your face, stroking the skin of your cheek and you watch as both of your hands go to the one lingering. You pressed a kiss to his palm, eyes closing and staying that way until you open them and pull your lips away.
âI didnât know you had come home.â You said, but it was playful.Â
âGot back early this morning. Didnât want to wake you.â
âYou can always wake me up, Logan. I missed you so much.âÂ
âYou have no idea how much I missed you, sweetheart.â
You watch his arms pull you in, but before you watch it happen your mind forces itself away. You feel tears dotting your face. And from the looks of it, Logan had tears on his face too.Â
What was all that?
âIs he okay?â You hear Charles coming from behind you, a slight edge to his voice.
âI-I got him,â you stutter, shock still in your system. âYou and Hank stop Erik.â
Thereâs no response except for feet pacing away and out the door. You look around and see everyone is gone, most likely getting out during the chaos. You hear a grunt, and turn to see Loganâs eyebrows scrunched up. His lips are quivering, and he is starting to shake again. When you see more teardrops form, you let go of him.
âShit, I overdid it,â you say under your breath, even though you have zero clue on what you did.
His eyes shoot open, causing you to almost jump off of him if it werenât for him pulling you back to him. His hands are on your face, thumbs pressing into your cheeks like he doesnât know if you are really here or not. He says your name softly, a hint of disbelief in his tone.
âLogan, are you okay?â You say, hands going to his wrists to steady yourself. In that instance he pulls you in, gripping you tightly in his hold and rocking back and forth with you.Â
âOh God, youâre alive. Fuck I thought I lost you.â You hear the pain in his voice, but it confuses you.
âLogan, Iâm right here. Iâm okay,â you reassure, arms wrapping around his head. You try to comfort him, but he just grips you harder.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says but itâs muffled with his face buried in your neck. âIâm so sorry I wasnât there to protect you.â
There is a dampness from his tears, along with the feel of his lips on your skin. His kisses are bruising, like he is trying to convince himself. You, on the other hand, are experiencing so much. You donât know Logan, but it is very apparent he knows you. He says you two were close friends, but the more he continues to kiss your neck, the more you think there is something else he isnât telling you. You can take a pretty good guess to what that is.
You are starting to think youâre going to be in this position forever, until you hear footsteps enter the room.Â
âWe need to get ou-â you can hear that itâs Charles. âWhatâs going on?â
Your mouth opens to say something but shuts when nothing comes out. You donât know what to say and you donât want to say anything that may set Logan into another fit of unrest.Â
âCharles, go pull the car around discreetly. Make sure you have Hank. We will be down shortly.âÂ
Once again, Charles leaves with no response. You turn your attention back to Logan, who is still weeping against you. You keep holding him tightly, thinking about how you are going to get him up to leave. As luck would have it, however, it is like something snaps back inside him because next thing you know you are being pushed away.
âWhat are you doing?âÂ
You quickly hop off of him, standing up in the process to provide some distance. You observe him, and see the shift back to how he was before he started to spiral. Still, there is something wild in his eyes, and you have yet to determine if thatâs a good or a bad sign.
âOh thank God,â you sigh in relief. âYou had me worried for a second.â
He groans, rubbing his head as he gets his bearings. You should wait to ask; you really should. But you need to know what he saw, and more specifically if he saw what you had seen.
âWhat happened? What did you see?âÂ
âI saw someone that is going to bring me a lot of pain one day.â Logan looks to the side, and you follow his gaze to where that military man once was.Â
âI also sawâŚâ he starts, only to look around and notice you two are the only ones in there. âWhere is everyone? Whereâs Raven?â
âSheâs⌠sheâs gone.â
âWhat?â His head snaps to you, eyes blown wide.
You look down, a sigh leaving your lips at todayâs turn of events. You feel the room shift, a tension building that feels foreign to you. You feel guilty, even though you know you shouldnât, but you feel like youâve failed him. He is here to fix things, and now no one has a clue if what happened will make things better or worse. From how he is reacting, it can only be the latter.Â
âWe need to leave.â Logan mutters, already walking towards the exit. âLetâs go.â
He isnât looking at you but waits for you to move. You nod, even though there is no recognition to come, and you walk ahead with him trailing behind you.
Yep, definitely the latter.
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY
The trip back felt like it had taken years off your lifespan, the stress that had surrounded the jet almost unbearable. Everyone had feelings of failure and guilt, as it took no telepath to see that, but what made things worse was how much Logan was distancing himself.
You had thought after what happened you would get to know more, but there was none of that, not even a word. Itâs like you had burned him with the way he kept his distance. Even on the jet, a space with little room, he stayed far. You had purposely moved closer, and he made an excuse to get up only to sit at the opposite end of the jet. It upset you, and you hate that it did. You shouldnât feel anything about him, yet after that stupid memory you saw, you do. How could you not?
You didnât realize it at the time, but feeling how far he is from you makes your body ache in a way thatâs unfamiliar. The way your body had felt against his, how solid he was, had you yearning. The way he had held you like you were the most precious thing he possessed had you wanting. If you are interpreting his memory correctly, then why is he holding you from such a distance?
Does he feel like it would be cheating? You know thatâs you but that isnât you now. You are different but how different? Different enough to warrant him to see you as a completely different person?
To be fair, you donât know his past or even his future, but your heart is starting to want to go where he is. Itâs like there is a red string connected between you two that stretches far and wide. You canât help but think you harbor these feelings because no matter what, you were destined to be with him and he was destined for you. Nothing can cut that string, but it can stretch tightly and that string is losing its thread.
Currently, you are sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting for someone to come out of Charlesâs room. Logan and Hank had taken him there, his legs having given out and his mind going off the rails as the effects of his medicine wear off. You chose to distance yourself so as to not overcrowd.
You could hear them talking, sometimes with voices raising and then going soft again. You couldnât make out what they were discussing, only hearing certain words that have no meaning without context. It isnât until you hear the door click open that you stand, seeing Hank leaving the room quickly followed by Logan.Â
âIs he okay?â You ask, watching Hank come towards you fast.
âHeâs going to try and find Raven using Cerebro.â He says walking fast past you down the stairs. âGetting his wheelchair!â
Logan follows him, not glancing at you or saying a word causing you to frown. You are hot on his heels, having more questions desperate for answers.
âLogan, is he going to be alright?âÂ
âYep, just fine. Hank and I will be right beside him.â Logan says curtly, walking towards Charlesâs old office.
âWhat about me?â You ask, but it falls on deaf ears as he starts to look for something.
âLogan.â You were starting to get frustrated. What the fuck is his problem?
He finally finds what heâs looking for, and you see him slam a phone book onto the desk. He is flipping through it just a touch too aggressive, pages cringing as he flips the pages. He then stops and puts his finger down on a number before picking up the phone and clocking in the digits.
âSeriously, Logan. Who could you possibly be calling?â You ask him, only to get fucking pissed at his next few words.
âI need a cab for 1407 Graymalkin Lane-â
âWhat the hell are you doing?!â You storm towards him, getting more irritated by the second.
âCalling you a taxi. You are going home.â Logan growls out, about to continue speaking before you snatch the phone from him and slam it back down.Â
âLike hell I am!â You yell. âJust as I told you a couple days ago, I am not going anywhere. You all need me.âÂ
He slams his hands down against the table, making you jump back. âListen here, princess. I donât care how much you think we need you because it doesnât fucking matter. We need to focus. I need to focus. I cannot do that with you here, so you are going to take a cab back to New York City. Do you understand?â
The daggers in his eyes are sharp, trying to make you give in to his demands. You know better and you can see right through him. âIs this about what happened in Paris?â
He scoffs, turning away from you to walk away. âIt was nothing you need to worry about. Just saw someone that is going to make my life hell. I am fine.â
âThat isnât what I am talking about. When I was trying to calm you down, I saw something.â You say, and it stops him in his tracks.
âWhat do you mean you saw something?â He turns, facing you. âWhat could you have possibly seen?âÂ
âI was trying to stop your panic attack by stopping the conception of time in your brain, but I did something else. Something I didnât know I could do.â You explain, and his face softens from anger to confusion.
âI think I somehow moved your consciousness forward in time,â you continued. âI was able to see where I was moving it. It was how I was able to get you to settle down.â
He is in front of you instantly, hands on your shoulders in a tight grip. âWhat did you see?â
âI saw myself through your eyes.â You breathed out. âWe were out on the lawn behind the mansion.â
âWhat else did you see?â Logan shakes you a little, causing you to squeak. He is starting to scare you a little bit; the way he is behaving is very irrational.
âThat was all I saw, I swear.â You say honestly.Â
Logan sighs deeply, tilting his head back with eyes closed. He lets go of you, taking steps back until heâs against the wall. You are growing worried with how he is acting. You wish he would just tell you everything. Tell you what you two really were. Tell you what is running through his head. Tell you what is scaring him so badly. Seeing him so vulnerable has shaken you, but you canât back down.
âWe werenât just friends,â you whisper. âWe were far more, werenât we?â
Loganâs breath hitches, and his mouth opens to speak but no words come.Â
âIt explains everything. The way youâve been acting since we met. I can see the longing in your eyes. I can see it in the way you look after me. What I donât understand is why you didnât tell me.â
âIt doesnât matter.â Logan laughs but it isn't playful. It sounds like a laugh that comes to cover the hurt and is full of self-pity.
âIt matters to me!â You lament. âI want to know why.â
âListen,â Logans says, his tone becoming solemn. âWhatever I say or do here affects the future as we know it. Me even being in the same vicinity as you these last few days has made everything extremely difficult for me. If say or do one thing wrong, thatâs it. The future I have with you ceases to exist and you cease to exist.â
âWhat do you mean I cease to exist?â You ask, taken aback by his confession.
Loganâs face pales, quickly turning to go back up the stairs. âFuck, Iâve said to much.â
Your hand grabs his, yanking him back enough to keep him still. âLogan, what do you mean I cease to exist?â
Both of your emotions are running high, bubbling to the point of overflow; the edge you both were teetering on, about to fall over. You shouldnât push it, but rationality is no longer home; only frustration.
âLogan, I swear to God if you donât tell me what the fuck it is you mean I-â
âYou die in the future! Is that what you want to hear?â Logan shouts, and everything goes quiet.
You are stunned. âWhat?â
âYou die during the first few Sentinel attacks.â Logan rips his hand away like heâs having an adverse reaction.
âSo,â you start, not knowing where you want to go with this question. âSo youâre afraid Iâm sealing my fate by being here?â
âIâm afraid I once again wonât be able to save you.â Logan says with a pained expression.Â
âYou donât need to worry about me. If something happens, I can just shift time back and we can prevent it.â
âGod, you are still so stubborn,â he heaves. He is now face level with you on the steps, and he takes your face in his hands.Â
âYou donât understand how hard it is for me to stay away. The first time I saw you at the nightclub, all I wanted to do was pull you into me. It is taking everything in me not to hold you like I want to. To kiss you, to love you. But the more I let you in, the more I am close to giving in. I will not divulge my desires at the risk of everyone that is counting on me, especially you.â
You can see his torment, and all you want is to comfort him. You want to kiss him so bad. You want to pull him by his shirt and never let him go. You understand his love for you, but you want him to understand that you would go to end with him, no matter what.Â
Your hands go to his wrists, keeping his hands in place. âHave you considered that you coming back here and me being here with you was meant to happen? What if me being here helping you all saves me? What if it extends our lifetime together?â
He doesnât say anything, but the way he is looking at you makes you weep. His lip quivers, his eyes start to shine, and his jaw is clenching hard enough to break teeth. Your hands slither up his arms to his shoulders. You feel magnetized, your face inching closer to his to see if he will have a change of heart. You are close enough to feel his breath shutter against your lips, and your heart is beating so fast you are sure he can hear it. You feel slight contact, a ghost of a kiss before full impact, but it never comes.
âLogan!â Charles yells from upstairs. âWe are getting ready to go.â
Logan is quick to pull away, sending a wave of hurt towards you. He breathes out a stuttered breath before yelling a response and heading upstairs, but before he goes up he turns his head towards you. âThere is money on Charles's desk. Please leave while you have the chance.â
He goes upstairs not looking back and you watch as he disappears from your view. You stand there for a while, deep in thought as you weigh your options, but you knew what you were going to do. Even though Logan was afraid, and rightfully so, you had a gut feeling everything would turn itself around.
So, with heavy steps, you walk up the stairs and down the hall, picking the second to last room on the right. It is barren aside from a bed and a dresser, and seeing the bed made you realize how exhausted the day's events have made you. You shut the door, and flop onto the bed, letting sleep take over and dreams manifest.
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY; Four Hours Later
20 Text Messages.
10 Missed Calls.
3 Voice Messages.
Voice Message 1: Hey baby, just calling you to tell you goodnight. Donât worry about waking me when you get home. I wanna see you as soon as you get in. Get back safely. I love you.
Voice Message 2: Logan, something is wrong. There are a bunch aircrafts above the mansion. Not sure what is happening. Myself and the others are getting the kids together. Iâd rather be safe than sorry. Please be cautious when you get home. I love you.
Voice Message 3: Logan. Logan! Whatever you do, please do not come to the mansion! Itâs under attack! Those Sentinels are here and- oh God Logan itâs a slaughter. Please do not come! Iâll find you once Iâm safe. I love you!
Logan is running like hell to the mansion, and he can see them. They swarm the building like flies, crawling along the brick. There are fires, giant gaping holes in the wall, and bodies⌠so many bodies.
He gets in, staying close to the wall as he listens. He can hear the Sentinel bodies grind and creak as they move, hunting down any mutant that hasnât been vanquished. He sniffs deeply, trying to find you in the building. He hopes you made it out already, but that hope is lost when he gets a strong whiff of you and blood.
So much blood.
He enters the foyer, and dead center he sees your body, a hole pierced into your stomach. He sees your mouth open, trying to breath but your chest stammers as it goes down.Â
No. No, no, no!
He is at your side, pulling you into his arms. He cradles your head, his hand going to the hand holding your wound. Your eyes are slitted, a dazed look looking right back at him. Itâs haunting how dull you are starting to look, and every second adds to his panic.
âBaby, Iâm here. Iâm here.â
Your free hand, the one not stained in your own blood, clutches onto his shirt. You pulled on it so lightly, strength slowly fading away.Â
âI told you not to come,â you whimpered. âItâs not safe here.â
âI wasnât about to leave you here to deal with this alone. We gotta get you out of here.â
âNo, you do.âÂ
âDonât say that,â he said sternly. âYou are coming with me.â
He lets go to take his belt and shirt off. Balling up the shirt, he moves your hand to put the fabric against your stomach.Â
âFuck!â You screamed.
âIâm so sorry, baby. Bear with me, please.â
He is crying, holding his sobs in as tears break over the dam. He takes his belt and wraps it around your torso, keeping the pressure so more blood doesnât come out. There is already so much around you.Â
âIâm gonna lift you up, okay?âÂ
He wraps your arms around his neck, getting a grip under your legs and your back before lifting you up.Â
âI got you. I got you.â
He starts walking back from where he came, but he wasnât so lucky this time. He sees them on the ground, making their way up from where he entered. He turns quickly, thinking the only other way out is through the tunnels.
He hits the secret door, and just as it opens he hears one coming their way. He shoves you both through, getting it shut before he starts making his way down. He is making multiple turns, his mind spinning in a haze as he goes to find the exit. He feels your breathing slow, and for the first time in a long time he is scared. You are everything. Without you, he is nothing.
He makes one final turn, the exit at the end, but he halts in his spot. All he sees is carnage. There is blood on the walls, bodies of students, and marks from where their gifts were used. The exit door had been beaten down, the walls cracked and gone along with it.Â
âGood GodâŚâ He shouldnât have come down here.
He turns to go back, but from the shadows comes one of them. It blends in with the concrete, and makes itself known once itâs in reach. Its arm shifts into something sharp, and once formed it draws down to where he stands, but just as quickly he dodges with you in his arms.
âWeâre not dying today, bub.â
He starts to run like hell towards the exit, only to see another one pop up at the opening. He takes a sharp turn, getting the runaround to make it back to the entrance. Itâs a maze of turns, feeling like itâll take an eternity to get to safety, but with one final turn he has it.
And then he doesnât.
Rubble had fallen from the flooring above and made its way down creating a massive blockage. Itâs a fucking dead end.
The two Sentinels approach, both opening their mouths to burn you two alive. He crouches down with his back facing them, preparing to take anything they give him. He will suffer. Good God, he will suffer. But if he can fake them out enough to leave, you will be safe. Thatâs all that matters.
But the pain never comes.Â
âLogan.â
He looks down to see you holding your arms out, and his eyes widen when he realizes you are using your powers. He turns to see the Sentinels, but they are still moving. Just incredibly slow.
âLogan, you need to leave.â
He turns back to you, and sees your body shaking. The work he had put into keeping the blood from spilling was fatal. You were hemorrhaging.Â
âIâm not leaving you here. I wonât do it.â
You let out a pitiful cry, your tears streaming down your cheeks. He can see his too as they mix with yours.
âThere is no saving me. Let me save you, please.â
âBaby, I-â
âDo not let me die in vain, Logan. They need you.â
âBut I need you!â
âI know, and Iâm sorry I canât give you what you need. Itâs selfish, I know.â
âYouâre damn right it is.â
âBut please, let me be selfish. Let me save you.â
He can start to feel the heat, the Sentinels mouths setting wide enough to set this tunnel ablaze. Everything is telling him to stay, but the way you are looking at him breaks him and it makes him cave.
He can never say no to you.
âGo. Find the others. Make sure they are safe. God, please make sure they are safe.â
âI love you, sweetheart,â Logan chokes, holding you just a little tighter. âIâm so sorry.â
âI am too.â
He kisses you. Itâs soft yet full of sorrow. Itâs a kiss of death, he knows it.Â
âIâll see you in the next life.â
You smiled at that. Itâll be the last smile he sees from you. âGo quickly. I canât hold on much longer, Logan.â
He lets go, gently setting you down, before he runs past the Sentinels and makes his way back to the exit. The second he was out of sight, he heard it. The roar of the flames, the mechanical sounds from their armor, and your screams.
All he can hear is your screaming.
Your screams.
You are fucking screaming.
Logan shoots up from the bed, a yell cutting off from his lips as he enters consciousness. He is breathing rapidly, swallowing nonexistent spit as he works to pull himself together. His claws were all the way out, a common side effect of his trauma response. He feels how cool the air is in the room due to the sweat that coated his body.Â
He didnât think he could dream in this current state. He hasnât had that dream in a while, even though he wishes it was simply that. He used to have it so often, a constant reminder that he failed you and let you suffer just so he could get away. Having to relive the worst day of his life over and over is his own form of hell.
He hears a knock at the door, startling him from his state of being.Â
âLogan?âÂ
He freezes up, knowing that voice from anywhere. He really doesnât want you in here, not with him like this. Not with him feeling so exposed.Â
âIâm fine!â He calls out, hoping you would take the hint, but he knows better.
He watches the door open and you appear. You are still in your beat up clothes, leather jacket and dirty shoes forgotten. Nothing has changed, but you look even more beautiful than you have since heâs gotten here. Maybe itâs because his senses are heightened. Maybe itâs the way the floodlights from outside shine on you in contrast with the dark room. Simply, maybe it is just you.
âI thought I told you to leave.â He says, trying to sound annoyed, but failing miserably.
âYeah, and I told you I wasnât going to let grown men tell me what to do.â You responded, shutting the door behind you.Â
âHmph,â he groused, looking down at his hands as his claws sink back into his flesh.
He hears you get closer, feet pattering against the wooden floors. âI could hear you in your sleep. I wanted to make sure you were okay.â
âYeah, Iâm okay.â But am I really? âJust a nightmare.â
He looks out the window, the night in full effect. The bed dips, and he looks to see you sitting down at the end. He sees it in your face that you donât believe him, which isnât surprising. Youâve always been able to read him no matter the circumstances.Â
âDid you want to talk about it?â
âNo,â he says quickly. He doesnât want to relive it twice in one night.
âOkay, okay,â you say calmly. âTell me what I can do for you.â
Please stay, so I know this is real.Â
Thatâs what he wants to say, but he feels like he will choke. His silence is deafening, so much so he sees your face twist in reaction.Â
âIf you want to be alone, I understand.â You got up from the bed. âGoodnight, Logan.â
There was a time when he didnât need to be strong or to carry the weight of others. With you as his anchor, he could be exposed. He has had to be strong for so long in recent years, but with you right here in front of him, he feels himself caving. So many emotions are rushing to his head, a battle between the Devil and God raging. He knows itâs wrong to interfere with the past, especially when there are consequences, but after tonight his sanity is slipping. Before he knows it, his hand grabs your arm to keep you from taking another step.
âStay,â he whispers, a hint of a crack that is only noticed by him. âPlease.â
âOkay,â you say with ease. âWhere do you want me?â
The angel on his shoulder is telling him to not give in, yet the little, conniving demon on the other side is telling him what he wants to hear. He wants you close; needs you close.
âWill you let me hold you?âÂ
He thought there may be some hesitation, but there is none. You walk back over to the bed, and he lays back as you climb onto it. His arm is out to invite you in, and you situate yourself to him. Your left arm is cradled into your chest and your right curls so your hand is where his heart is. Your head settles where his right arm and shoulder connect.
âIs this okay?âÂ
Itâs more than okay. âYes, thank you.â
You both lay there for a while, and he lets his senses completely take over. The first thing he senses is your smell. There is something so sugary sweet about your scent. He equates it closely to something heâd smell in a candy shop with housemade confections. Itâs intoxicating, and makes him hungry.Â
You fit into his arms just right. The skin from your cheek laying on his exposed shoulder brings a comfort he hasnât had in so long. It made him realize how touch-starved heâs been. He hasnât touched another woman since your passing, and the thought of doing so makes his stomach turn. He only wants to feel you against him, in every sense of the word.Â
The most shocking thing for him is to hear how calm you sound. Your breathing is deep and slow. Your heartbeat is sounding its soothing rhythm under your ribcage. Itâs the opposite of how his heart was reacting; hard and fast pumps of blood rushing. He feels your hand rubbing circles over his heart, and he wonders if you can tell how much you are affecting him.Â
âTell me something about me from the future.â
Logan looks down at you, and you look so peaceful as you lay with him. Does he do this to you?
âWhat do you want to know?âÂ
âAnything. Something good.â
There are so many good things about you. Itâs hard to divulge into just one thing, but even then he knows where to start.
âYou teach music at the school.â
You perked your head up at this. âI teach?â
âMhmm,â he hums, smiling to himself. âYou do a lot of the extracurricular activities for the younger ones, but music is one you do a lot of. Youâre really good with kids.â
You move your body, hands on top of one another on his chest. Your head lays on them, looking at him with a smile that makes his heart beat faster.Â
âSounds like Iâve become a lot more patient in the future.â
âTrust me,â Logan chuckles. âYou are still quite stubborn, but you are different with them.â
Logan loved seeing you with the kids. He remembers how nervous you were to teach the younger students, but he knew you would do well. Seeing how you interacted with them during class, how you encouraged them and gave them the will to work hard. So many of the kids came from families who despised who they were. You became a mother-figure to a lot of them.
He thinks about the time he woke up to kids laughing and looked out the window to see you running around with them. You were carrying on with them, laughing with them, looking at them with care and love. It was the moment he realized he would love to start a family with you. Watch you grow with his child, see you love them like you love the kids at school. It makes his heart twist.
âDid they like me?â
âOh, sweetheart. They loved you.â Loved. God, you were so loved by them.
âCan I ask something?â You ask.
âAnything.â He can feel himself getting lost in you, his hand subconsciously caressing your hair.Â
âWhat I did in Paris,â you start. âYou seemed genuinely confused when I explained what I did earlier. Was that something I couldnât do in the future?â
When you told him you brought his memories to the forefront of his mind, shifting time in his brain, he was shocked. Your mutation is special, and the control you had over it is simply astounding. He isnât surprised that your powers can do more than what was discovered originally, but it now begged the question: what triggered it and why now?
âNo,â Logan says with the shake of his head. âWhat do you think caused it?â
âLogan, I think you did.â He hears you hesitate.
âWhat do you mean?â
He watches as you sit up, crossing your legs. Your hands grab his right hand, thumbs pushing into his skin right where his mutated bones come out. It is strange how different you are acting in comparison to the last few days. You are acting like the you he gets to know later, the edge in your attitude completely gone. Maybe this is who you are or maybe⌠you are only this way with him.
âSo, the day we met, earlier that day, I saw you come out of the Algonquin.â
He sits up at this, heart picking up more. âYou were there?â
âI pulled over because I started to get a terrible migraine. It was so bad I thought I was having a stroke or something, but then it stopped like it was never there. Next thing I know, I see you and I can't look away. I felt like I knew you and I didnât know why.â
âHas it happened more than once? The migraines?â Logan is pulled into your direction, back hunching slightly to get closer even when he doesnât realize it.
âIt happened again at Maxâs when you introduced yourself.â
His eyes widen, the pieces coming together. âThatâs why you looked like you were in pain.âÂ
âI chalked it up to having drank too much,â you huffed out a laugh. âIt didnât make sense at the time, but after Paris I canât shake the feeling.â
âSo what are you saying? That I opened your mind?âÂ
âIf I didnât have access to this part of my mutation from the future you are from, what if that means this was all meant to happen?â You brought his hand to your chest where your heart lies and he can feel directly where your heart beats.
Where it beats for him.
âI wasnât even the one meant to come here,â Logan says in denial. âIt was supposed to be Charles.â
âBut what if it wasnât?â You grip his hand harder, pushing it further against you. âWhat if you were meant to find me to make things right? To save everyone. To save us. Maybe this is fate trying to tell you something.â
He is becoming weak. Your words are so honest and it is taking nothing to believe you. Maybe you are right, maybe you are wrong. You havenât seen the bloodbath the future becomes, but maybe you donât need to have seen to know. Your words, your reasoning; both make his resolve crack and there isnât much left. Having you here in front of him, being so reassuring and confident, he isnât going to last.Â
âWhat are you thinking right now, Logan?â You ask gently, and if he is seeing things correctly, he sees how much you want him to give in. And thatâs all he needs.
âIâm thinking about how much I want to kiss you right now.â
His hand on your chest is pulled lower, down to your left breast where you curl your fingers over his to squeeze the flesh. âThen do it.â
To say the dam has broken would be an understatement. The dam has vaporized, mass flooding reaching the heavens. Those three words were enough for him to snatch you into his arms, pull you on top of him, and get his lips onto yours. He has your thighs on either side of his own, holding you so close that your crotch is pressed tightly against his. Your hands are holding onto his shoulders with nails digging into his skin, and fuck he loves it.
His hands are all over you; going from your hips to your ass to the small of your back to your head. He wants to touch every part of you and memorize every inch of your skin. His fingers bundle up the bottom of your top, pushing it up with his fingertips to let his palms glide along your waist. You gasped against his lips, giving him the opportunity to let his tongue fondle yours.Â
He unclasps your bra as his hands reach the middle of your back, giving him the chance to take both items of clothing off your body. He pulls away from you, back leaning against the headboard as he takes you in. Your body is just as he remembered it, and he could weep at how stunning you are.
âDo I look okay?â There is a hint of uncertainty in your voice, and it sends his hands to gently bring your face down to him.
âYou are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on.â His eyes bore into yours as he tells you, needing you to know how much he means it.Â
Before he can say anything else, your lips are back on his. He lets you take the lead, your tongue leading him in a dance. It gives him the opportunity to focus his hands on your breasts. You whimper against his mouth and he feels you push your chest into his palms as he massages them, which causes a little smirk to form at the corner of his mouth. You had always loved when he played with them as it turned you on like nothing else.Â
âGood to know your tits have always been so sensitive,â he murmurs against your lips, thumb and pointer fingers going to pinch the puckered buds.
A high-pitched moan is pulled from you, your hips involuntary grinding against him in response. Your lips let go of his, and they end up going to his cheek. âI guess you know how to get me going, donât you?â
âOh baby, I know your body like the back of my hand,â he hums with a rumble. He can play your body like an instrument, the song being your sweet noises. He is going to show you just how well he makes you sing.
He is quick to flip you over, removing his white wife pleaser in the process before his hands go to your jeans. He yanks them down with your panties and you help kick them off before he tosses them aside. He goes to take his own off, stripping everything away until he is as naked as you are.Â
He crawls up to you, moving your thighs over his hips. His hands reach under your back and he pulls you into his lap. Your legs wrapped around him, and he groans as your wet cunt sits against his cock. His left arm stays wrapped around you, and his right hand holds the back of your head with fingers at the roots of your hair. Your hips start grinding up onto his erection, mewls so sweet that he canât help but consume them.
He pulls your head to the side by your hair gently, tugging just enough to get a reaction from you. Your eyes flutter, and he hums as he lets his lips ghost over your ear.Â
âI have every little spot of yours memorized,â he kisses behind your ear, his tongue peeking out for a little lick before kissing in the same spot. âEven if you think you know what they are, just know I know all of them.â
âFuck, Logan,â you say with a shiver, making your body press further into the heat he is projecting.Â
âMmm thatâs right.â His lips go down to the underside of your jaw where your pulse is, kissing it gingerly to prepare you for his next act. âKeep that up.â
He bites down slowly on the crevice, letting his teeth sink in far enough to leave his mark. Your hands are on his head, cooing softly at the distinct pressure. He releases, licking the indents he left in your skin to soothe the ache.Â
âYou sound so pretty, baby,â he murmurs. âLet me see if you know this one.â
His mouth trails down, sucking marks into your skin until he gets down to your sternum. His back hunches down, leaning you back to get the angle just right. He sets his tongue to work, letting the tip trail a stripe up until he reaches the notch between your collarbones. A little gasp followed by a hushed curse falls from your lips. The sensation causes you to squirm in his lap and it makes his dick twitch against your folds. Logan isnât a patient man in most regards, but he could spend an eternity exploring your body. Your reactions fuel him and they send blood right down to his cock.Â
âDidnât know about that spot, did you?âÂ
âNo, ah!â Logan pulls another gasp from you as he nibbles around the edges. âGetting me addicted to you early, arenât you?â
âThatâs right, angel.â Logan canât help himself, thrusting his hips up a little to let his length rub into your pussy; so wet and so good. âIâll have you yearning for me for decades to come.â
As he proceeds the motion of his hips, tightening his hold on you, he allows his right hand to come up to your left breast. With his tongue and cock being a distraction, he pulls at your taut nipple at the same time his teeth bite down on your collarbone. You cry out his name, his hair being fisted and pulled. He canât help the wanton moan that spills out, riling him up to no end.Â
Your breast feels so at home in his hand, but looking at how pretty your nipples look, flushed from his treatment, he gets a craving. His tongue makes a path down, making its way to the left and up until it slithers to your erected bud. His mouth latches, encircling the peak as he sucks earnestly. He continues rutting into you, feeling his and your fluids coating his appendage.Â
Logan feels himself becoming drunk. With you in his arms reciprocating his intentions, itâs like he is weightless. Something deep in his scarred heart is healing. Years of trauma from seeing and experiencing the unthinkable transform into the better things in life. He thinks of the future he could have with you. A future where you take his last name. A future where you two live in a little home decorated however you choose. A future with your belly big with his kid, where he can kiss your stomach every morning and every night. A future where you and him raise a child. He wants that. He wants that so bad.Â
In his drunken haze, he feels one of your hands leave his head. Your fingertips send his nerves alight as they trail down his arm. You are tracing the veins that are bulging out, and he grunts as they go over to his chest. He has switched to your other breast, and as he starts, he feels your palm against his cock. You are pushing it more into your cunt, thumb running over his fat tip as you rub it.Â
âFuck,â he curses with a pop. âYou are such a greedy girl.â
âWhat can I say?â You jest. âI know what I want.â
âAnd what would that be, sugar?â He thrusts against you, cockhead rubbing up and down your clit.Â
You smiled at him, and your other hand goes from his head to his jaw. Fingers slightly scratching his beard with your thumb on his bottom lip, you lean back into him with knees shifting. They are on either side of him now and his tip is being lined up against your hole. Your eyes seek out his, and he canât look away as he admires you. You are beautiful, an angel sent down for him. Every version of you is perfect, and for every version of you he will sacrifice everything.
âI want you to make love to me,â you say with a shuttered breath. âShow me how you love me. Show me what I have to look forward to.â
Loganâs tip is enveloped by your heat by the time you finish, and your words were the full confirmation he needed to seat you fully onto his shaft.Â
Itâs like gasping for air with how intense his reunion with you feels. You fit perfectly around him. Itâs almost too good to be true. Part of him is wondering if he is still dreaming, but with how warm and snug you are, it has to be real. This has to be happening.
You lift your hips until all thatâs connected is the head before dropping back down. His cock glides right in and he grunts as you work yourself on him. He guides your movements with his hands, both on your plush ass and giving a squeeze with every bounce. Your arms have since wrapped around his neck, head hiding in his neck. Your hot breath fans across his skin, your teeth nipping at him every time he fills you up.Â
He loves how you are taking what you need, letting you keep the pace to get used to his size. Normally during an intimacy session, he would prepare you more thoroughly. Heâd pleasure you with his mouth, letting his spit coated tongue lubricate your pretty pussy. Heâd finger you open, getting you nice and relaxed for his heavy cock. He would add another when your little noises got rowdier, a tell-tale sign that you needed more. He did everything to ensure you were ready for him, the enjoyment of your pleasure and taste a perk in the endeavor. With how you are riding him, however, it feels like you are preparing him. Taking it slow, letting him savor you, letting him know that this is real and you are his.Â
âYou feel incredible, Lo,â you whimper into his neck. He just about mimics you after hearing you call him by that little nickname.
âI can say the same to you, pretty girl.â He lifts your head by your hair, putting your forehead to his as he rocks up into you. âTaking my cock so well. You were made for me. Ainât that right?â
âMhmm,â you hum. âIâll always be yours. In every lifetime, I am yours and you are mine.â
He chokes out a laugh, completely overwhelmed with emotion. He kisses your swollen lips with ease, his tongue flicking out to savor your taste. Every moan that comes out is captured by his mouth, swallowing the sweet sounds desperately. He notices your hips start to slow, and your whining gets more consistent. He knew you were tiring, but that was okay. He has enough energy and greed to take over. You make him greedy, and he needs more.
âDid you want me to take over, baby?â
âPlease,â you mumble against his lips. âTake me.â
He doesnât need to be told twice. He shifts himself, keeping you two connected as he gets you onto your back. He situates you so your legs are wrapped around his torso, legs pushed down so your thighs are almost to your chest. The angle he has you in gives him the chance to push in just a little more, his tip putting pressure onto your cervix.Â
âOh God, you are so deep,â you mewl, clenching down on his cock causing him to groan at the grip.
âThatâs right, baby. Damn you look so beautiful like this.âÂ
âYeah? I look beautiful with your big cock in my pretty pussy?â
âFuck, you got a mouth on you.â Logan thrusts shallowly in response, a whine ripping out from your throat. âBut to answer your question, you look beautiful no matter what.â
He starts thrusting long, deep strokes into you. He lets one hand stick to your hip, and the other has a gentle grip on your jaw to keep your head in place. His thumb traces your bottom lip, and in an instant your tongue latches to it. It draws it in, getting it so your lips close around it and suck on it as your tongue lathers it. Your eyes shut, and you hum happily like you are savoring the musk from his skin. It enraptured him, making him pick up the pace, hips starting to slam against you.Â
Heâs on the cusp of his release. He doesnât want this end, not by a long shot. But tonight will become tomorrow. A new day will start where the stresses of his mission will come to light. All he can do is savor this last little bit of happiness and hope sometime soon he will wake up with you by his side.
âLo, Iâm close,â you grunt out.
He takes his soaked thumb, bringing it down to your bundle of nerves. âIâll get you there, baby. Cum whenever you are ready.â
He swirls your clit at an easy pace, a contrast to how he is slamming into you. He is battering into your pussy, hitting that spot he knows all too well. Your moans grow louder, more accustomed to his hard hitting movements. The sounds of wet slapping with moaning and grunting fill the room, and with the slightest bit of added pressure to your clit he gets you there; right where he wants you.
Your back is arching off the bed, nails finding purchase on his thighs. Your moans are breathless, the wind knocked out as he continues the fast pace of his hips. He looks down where the two of you are connected, watching the white fluid flow down between your ass and drip onto the bed. He can smell it and something snaps in his brain where he wants more.Â
He can tell you are coming down from your high, but he isnât having any of that. His length stills, fully seated in you, and starts rutting the tip against your g-spot.Â
âFuck, itâs too much,â you cry out. âLogan, please!â
âI got you, pretty girl. Just need you to cum on my cock one more time.âÂ
You nod, and he pushes his hips harder, and it isnât long before you are wailing with another release. This sets him off again, and he pulls almost fully out before pistoning his cock in and out rapidly as he prolongs your orgasm. You are wailing his name, and he can see tears falling down the sides of your eyes from how good he was making you feel. He is on top of a hill about to roll down, and before he releases, he pulls out.Â
Your legs try to shut, but his thighs prevent it. He takes two fingers and sticks them into your cunt to continue riding your release out. His other hand fists his cock over your stomach, and with a growl he is cumming in ropes. White paints your tummy until itâs pooling down into your belly button, drenching the skin and making it sheer. He is breathing heavy, orgasmic bliss fading into something more peaceful. He sees you are on the same boat, chest going up and down. It isnât until he hears a sob crash out from your lips and more tears forming that he snaps out of his daze.
âBaby, whatâs wrong?â He is urgent as he gets off the bed, getting closer to you from the side of the bed. His hands are immediately on your face, thumbs wiping away the new droplets trailing down.Â
âIâm sorry,â you choke, staggered breaths coming from you with a mixture of sobs in between. âIâm okay. It was just a lot.â
âIâm so sorry, sweetheart. I got carried away.â He goes to kiss the apples of your cheeks where the tears have stained, before standing up fully. âLet me get you cleaned, okay?â
He turns to go get a towel from the bathroom when he feels your hand wrap around his wrist, stopping him completely.Â
âIt was a lot, but in a good way.â
He goes to kneel on the ground beside the bed, hands going to yours to kiss your knuckles. âAre you sure you are okay? I wouldnât dream of hurting you,â he murmurs into your skin.Â
âLogan, I have never experienced pleasure like that before,â you say hiccuping, causing a laugh to bubble out after. âI never thought I could experience something like that with someone ever.â
It dawns on him that this is technically your first time with him, meaning once the future sets to the right course, this moment will become the first time he made love to you. His mind goes back to the very first time, both coming back from a night out with a need so deep that it was said and done too quickly. This time, he got to cherish you. He got to make your first time with him feel special and adored. It is surreal, and it is everything.Â
âWhy are you crying?â He hears you whisper, a hand escaping his grip to wipe away his own tears.
He didnât even realize it, but he didnât care. He didnât hide it. He lets you wipe them away, mirroring how he tended to yours. âIâm happy. Happier than I have been in a long time.â
He brings his head down to kiss your lips, a light peck that leads to a few more on your face. A giggle leaves your lips, and he swears his face grew more wet.Â
He looks to see the cum starting to dry on your skin, and he places one more kiss before standing up. âLet me get you cleaned up, and we can rest for a while.â
He rushes to the bathroom, steps heavy, and emerges with a warm, wet towel. He sits on the edge of the bed, taking the fabric to your heat to clean the fluids lingering. He is gentle, not wanting to rub the towel anywhere thatâs still sensitive to the touch. He kisses your knees and the inside of your thighs, the fabric now on your tummy as he wipes you clean. Your skin is cleared of any fluids, and with one last kiss to your flesh he pulls away.Â
He tosses the towel into the sink before going to the other side of the bed, pulling the sheet and comforter back to get under. He reaches over to you, pulling you into him as he adjusts the blanket from under you. He settles with you on his chest, just like you were earlier, with the bedding now over your forms. You snuggle up to him, your fingers twirling around the hair on his chest. His fingers brush through your hair, admiring the afterglow you are giving, and thinking about how lucky he is right now.
You are his baby. His life. His soul. He was miserable without you, but he didnât realize how bad off he was until now. Having you back in his arms, even for a moment, made his soul come to life. It had been rendered useless when it was severed, and now his sense of purpose is strong. The love he is feeling in this room wraps around him snuggly, and he doesnât want to leave its embrace.Â
Your left hand pokes out from in between your bodies, and his free hand goes to twiddle with the fingers. He thinks about how big his hands are compared to yours. His whole fist could cover the entirety of your hand, yet your hands are on the rougher side like his. There are some calluses from what he assumes is drumming. They form along the top of your palm where your fingers connect. He stops where your ring finger lies, and he subconsciously sighs.
He remembers how Storm had helped him find a ring for you. You had said how you would love anything he chose because it was from him. However, he wanted it to be a ring that made a statement for his love. He wanted a ring where every time you looked at it, you would know how much he adored you.Â
He thinks about how back in the future, it is still around his neck like a virtue. It makes him wonder if in the near distant future, when things become sane and good, if he will still have that ring. Will he, who may become a different man after he returns, have the guts to propose to you? He regrets so much, but that is something he regrets greatly. Not proposing before the world fell apart. Not proposing to let you know that he is ready to take the next step, and to let you know he is committed to you even past the point of death. Death do us part doesnât apply to you or him.Â
âWhatâs on your mind?â
He looks down to see you looking up at him, a smile forming on his lips as he takes you in. âJust thinking about how I could go for a cigar right now.â
You smacked his chest, making him grunt out a chuckle. âIâm guessing thatâs a common occurrence after these kinds of things.â
âThat or we go for round two,â he smirks, laughing as you smack his chest again.
âHorndog,â you mumble into his side.Â
âA horndog for you, baby.â He goes to kiss you again but then he hears rapid knocking on their door.
âAre you two decent?â Hank asks loudly from behind the door. âThis is urgent!â
âJust come in, Hank.â Logan pulls the covers further up on you, a slight possessiveness taking over as Hank comes in. Your body is for his eyes only.Â
He thought Hank may feel a little embarrassed seeing the two of you like this, but there is none of that. Hank marched over; any social cues forgotten as he sat on the edge of the bed.Â
âListen, bub, what could possibly be so urgent that you are sitting on the bed I just fucked my girl silly on?â
âLogan!â You scowl.
Hank rolls his eyes. âRaven is going to Washington. Trask is going to be at the White House tomorrow, and she plans to strike. We need to leave tonight.â
âWhat is happening at the White House?â Logan asked, sitting up on his elbows.
Hank shakes his head in a way that tells Logan it isnât for anything good. âThey are presenting the Sentinel Program tomorrow.â
âOh God,â you mutter. âTrask is already that far along? Does that mean they could be unleashed sooner?â
Logan shutters at the thought. The idea of the Sentinels starting their massacre whole decades earlier makes him uneasy. It scares him. He wonders if this means things are now going to be worse than they already were, which is hard to imagine. He doesnât want to imagine it.Â
He wishes he had more time. He doesnât know when he will get to be like this with you again. It could feel like a matter of seconds, minutes, hours, days. He could wake up to a world where you and him donât coincide. But at the end of the day, he needs to pull through for you and everyone else. His main priority is that he wakes up to a world where everyone is alive.
This is his last chance.
âAlright, weâll get up and get stuff together.â Logan says, and with that Hank gets up with a nod.
As he makes his exit, Logan starts to get up, but not before he feels your arms wrapping around his torso trying to pull him back.
âSweetheart, we need to get up,â Logan says softly, not wanting to disturb the peace in this room. Not wanting to unveil their reality.
âJust a few more minutes,â you wager. âIâll freeze time if that means I can stay like this for a few more minutes.â
He canât deny you. God, he canât. He lays back down to his original state, and before he can help himself the words are out in the open.
âI love you.â
You didnât respond, and thatâs okay. He already knows you love him too.
The White House; Washington D.C.
âYes, I am with the marine band.â
âYou are late, Sergeant. Get into position with the others.â
âYes sir!â
You move past the metal detectors, jogging towards the rest of the marine band members. There was an empty spot where the snare lies and you get into position, harness going over your shoulders. You fall into play, Stars and Stripes Forever sounding throughout the set up.
Itâs perfect really. You are in the best position to see everything. You will be able to see Trask, the President, and other high ranking officials. If things fall into complete disarray, you will shift the time backward and have a complete do over. In the meantime, the guys will look for Raven before she can strike.
It was a string of luck thanks to Charlesâs willingness to use his powers again. Hank had told you he had a change of heart, and while you had no proof of what convinced him, you had a feeling it had to do with the man who completely bared his soul to you last night.
Just the thought makes you blush. You arenât one to let someone you barely know in your bed, giving yourself to them completely. Youâve been there, done that, and it never stuck or felt right. With Logan, it felt different. There is a bond between you both thatâs inexplicably there. You have felt it from the start, and it was only confirmed after last night. The way he took care of you, made love to you; you could feel the love he felt for you and while scary to admit, you love him too.
He looks at you like you are the center of his universe. He looks at you like living isnât worth shit unless you are by his side. It pains you but only because whatever happened in his future has scarred him deep. You could feel it in the way he kissed you, and left marks on your body. He was trying to convince himself that he wasnât dreaming; that you were there.Â
You donât know what will happen after today, but what you do know is you will find him. You will find him, learn every detail about him until he is like a second skin, and love him like he deserves. You will make sure of it.
You look towards the metal detectors and see them passing through. You see Logan look in your direction, a smile shining towards you that you mirror right back. He looks you up and down, sending a wink your way before turning back to Charles and once again your face feels hot. His effect on you is absolutely outstanding.Â
You can see Charles scanning the crowd, undoubtedly looking for Raven amongst the thousands of people. You keep your eyes on him, reading his expressions as he continues lurking. You arenât sure what time it is but itâs only a matter of time before President Nixon makes his speech. Even then, that doesnât mean Raven wonât strike before that.
âI havenât found Raven yet. Be prepared.â
You felt Charles rattling in your brain. You look in his direction to see everyone looking towards you and you nod to signal the message was clear.
The conductor cuts off the song, signaling the event is about to start. You focus your attention to the stage, looking for any kind of sign of Raven. Everything seems pristine, Secret Service covered at every point.Â
âLadies and Gentlemen!â You hear someone speak through the microphone on the podium. Your attention goes to the man, someone from Nixonâs advisory team surely, standing before everyone. âIt is my utmost pleasure to welcome Mr. President Nixon!â
You see the conductor wave his baton, signaling to start playing, and quickly you are rolling your sticks once the first beat drops. You watch, trying to look in your peripherals for anything weird, before you hear a gunshot.
Your eyes snap to the stage, and you see Trask lying there with a bullet to his head. People are losing their minds, standing erratically to get away from whoever the shooter was. You drop your drumsticks, quickly snapping your fingers to stop the commotion. Everything freezes, and you take the opportunity to walk away from your post. You make observations, needing to be quick, and it doesnât take long for you to see Raven. Or at least make the assumption that itâs her.
You see she transformed into a man from the Secret Service. The gun has since been lowered and you can see two other Secret Service officials running to tackle. You walk to look at the manâs face, and it makes your lips purse slightly.
She is smiling. There is genuine joy in what she just did. Before time froze over, it was obvious she saw the other men coming to take her down, but she didnât care. You see it in her face: she won. It didnât matter what happened afterwards. She saved her kind, your kind.Â
Except she didnât, and thatâs what kills you as you look at her. Her actions kill so many, and leave so many people without their loved ones. Your future livelihood is dismantled by the Sentinels, so deep down you understand Ravenâs hatred for Trask. You hate him too, but you believe all will come to the light. Trask will get his due diligence, and hopefully itâs something worse than death.
Humiliation. Defunding his work. Life behind bars. For a man like him, death would be too easy.
You pass her, heading towards the rest of the group. You get to Loganâs side, and release a breath you didnât know you needed to release. You lift your arms up and move them down slowly. As they descend, time rolls back like itâs a moveable force. People that swarmed like ants are back in their seats, high security are back at their stations, the President makes his way back behind the stage, and Trask is back on his feet. Your hands clenched tight, holding everything in place before releasing and things continue on completely reset.
You lean down to Charles, making sure he hears you clearly. âSheâs right there to the left of the stage. Act fast.â
Charles looks in that direction, focusing with an urgency as he sets his sights on Raven. You watch the scene unfold again, and see how Raven goes to pull the gun from her jacket but she halts. You see her grow stiff, and her lips move like she is talking to someone.Â
âIâve got her,â Charles says with relief. âI can only hold her for so long.â
âYou two go get her,â Hank says as he gets behind Charles. âHe is right. Charles is still not as strong as he was before. You both need to be quick.â
You nod and the two of you start trekking over to where Raven is. The President is talking, but itâs muddled as you focus. The two of you walk slowly, but with urgency, not wanting to cause any alarm that would halt any progress. That didnât matter, however, because right as you two are on her, a Secret Service agent is in front of you both.
âIâm sorry, but this is as far as you two can go.â He has his hands raised in front of him to prevent any further steps.Â
âBehold! The world will never be the same againâŚâ The National Anthem kicks in, and you turn to see the American flag drop. What you see makes your jaw drop.Â
Eight large robots. They couldnât be more than twenty feet tall. Hell, it looks like they could stomp the average person out. The sheer size of them makes you uneasy, knowing what they can and will do makes your stomach churn.Â
âIs that what they look like?â You say quietly, your back now pressed against Loganâs front.
âThis is just the start.â Logan's right hand grabs yours, squeezing tightly. âBut we can change that.â
You squeeze back just as tight, hoping it conveys that you are with him. âLet me stop the time so you can get her.â You go to snap your fingers, but Logan squeezes your hand again as if to hold off.Â
âWhat?â
âDo you hear that?â He yells over the cheers. âSomethingâs coming.â
Logan keeps looking around, and in his search is when you see something moving from the corner of your eye. You turn, and a lump starts forming in your throat.
âGood GodâŚâ
It is clockwork with how things evolved. The Sentinels, with their yellow eyes and shiny polymer, are no longer on their feet. They are in the air, carefully looking down on the crowd like they are Gods. They look so much bigger off the ground, and it unsettles you to no end.Â
You see Trask and the Major talking, a look of frustration on the scientist's face. It confuses you because he is the one that has control over the giants. However, your question is answered when the sun seems to go away and only shadows linger in the shape of a ring. Rubble and debris fall from the sky, and once you look up you couldnât believe what you were seeing.
A whole fucking stadium. Rows and rows of seats and cement foundation floating in the sky. It moves over the White House like a storm, slowly but surely coming with impending coverage. It is only as the inner circle enters your vision that you see Erik, carrying the weight of it like it was nothing.
The Sentinels rise higher, going up towards the floating anomaly as it surrounds it. You think for a second that maybe they were activated because they detected the threat. However, as you watch them reach the top, taking places like they are guarding a post with arms drawn, you know it wasnât anyone commanding them from the ground, but from the sky.Â
âHoly shit ErikâŚâ you whisper to yourself, some disbelief edged into your voice. Erik was a powerful mutant, that you knew, but this? This was next level.
âIâm getting Raven!â
Before you can say anything, Logan is running to tackle Raven down, but it doesn't matter. The minute he is on his feet, bullets are raining from the sky in droves.Â
âLogan, get back!â You yell, running to pull him back before the mass array of bullets hit him.
âIâll be fine! I can take them!â Logan yells over the madness of crowds flocking away. âWe need to get her!â
âLook around!â You grab his shoulders, shaking them. âIt doesnât matter if we get her now. We need to get Erik and we canât if we are both down!â
You donât wait for him to answer, dragging him to rubble that had made its way to the ground. You look around it, trying to get eyes on Charles and Hank before the ground shakes. Logan has his arms around you, covering your body with his to protect it from any kind of blow.Â
Itâs quiet for a moment as the dust settles. You peep out again, trying to locate the other two again. The field was a ghost town, the crowd able to escape before the stadium trapped them in. The President, Trask, and others were gone, assuming they went into some sort of hiding place that only they know about. It is only then that you realize Raven is no longer to be seen, which makes you think she went into hiding⌠with them.
âOh noâŚâÂ
âWhat?â Logan whispers, his eyes trained elsewhere.
âI think Raven is with Trask.â
âUnfortunately, I think we have a bigger fucking problem now.â Logan curses with eyes unmoving.
You look to see where he is staring, and you see Erik walking towards the White House before stopping. His hands go out in front of him, moving them like he is scanning for something.
You feel something in your mind move, and you gasp when you hear the voice in your head. âCharles?â
âMy dear, we are running out of time.â You hear Charles echo in your head. âIf you or Logan can get Erikâs helmet off of him, I can stop him.â
âOkay, on it.â You turn in Loganâs hold, back now against the rubble. âWe need to get the helmet off him. I will stop time while you grab it.â
âSounds easy enough,â Logan grunts, crouching in front of you.Â
âAlright, here we go.â You focus all your energy on your surroundings before snapping your fingers. Your fists are secured, and you look at Logan before nodding his way. âGo on.â
He goes to get up but stops for a second before coming back down. His lips are on yours, a long peck before releasing you. Youâre stunned, not expecting such a romantic gesture. âIâll be back for you, baby.â
Heâs off, running towards Erik. You watch as he makes it up to him, carefully removing the helmet and putting it under his arm. He is on his way back, holding the helmet close as he gets back to where you stood. You both crouch back down, and you unclench your fists letting time continue its course.Â
âCharles, heâs all yours,â you say with the hope he can hear you.
Itâs quiet for only a moment when you hear something heavy fall to the ground. You hear a yell, one that sounded exactly like Charles, and you shoot up. You see some particles in the air to your right, steel and concrete a heap on the ground. You see brown hair, and then you see Hank, fully in his true blue form, trying to lift the heavy weight off of Charles. Panic sets in, not really sure how bad the damage is but it stirs you to stand up and release the alarming catharsis that bubbles to the surface.
âCharles!â You scream, your fight or flight response taking the former as you run towards them. You sense Logan right behind you, following your trail as you approach the mess. You almost make it, ready to stop time again but then you feel something graze your arm and then a stretch of pain that takes you out.
You fall with a grunt, holding your left arm as you curse to yourself. Blood is making its way down your arm, and you work to put pressure on it but it continues to seep through the cracks of your fingers. Shit, shit, shit!
You hear more bullets go off towards you, and your heart is in your throat as you expect to be battered, but they donât come. They donât come because Logan is in front of you, body jerking as he works to pick you up as wounds form from his back.Â
âHoly shit, Logan!âÂ
âHold on!â He seethes in pain, holding you close as he gets you both behind another pile of rubble.Â
You both have your backs to the scene unfolding, but you know there isnât much time to stay here. With haste, you unbuckle your belt, flinging it out of the jean loops and wrapping it below the bullet wound. Your teeth sink into the leather, pulling it tightly before securing it.Â
You look over at Logan, who is surrounded by the pellets he pushed out from his back. He grunts as one more falls to the ground behind him, and he turns to you with an alertness youâve become all too familiar with.
âAre you okay?â You ask stupidly, because of course he is.
He doesnât answer at first, looking at you and then looking back at the destroyed lawn. It causes you to look too, and you can see Hank clobbering one of the Sentinels as he yanks out its wiring. But heâs outnumbered and itâs only a matter of time before they gang up on him.Â
âWe need to help Hank,â you say, getting ready to stand up before Loganâs hand grabs you by your jean loops.
Loganâs hands are on your face, holding it still as to keep your focus on him. There is conflict in the way he looks at you; a conflict that says you wonât agree with what heâs about to do next. You can read him so easily, and what you are reading makes you uneasy.
âNo, LoganâŚâÂ
âSweetheart, I need you to stay right here.â His eyes are saying so much more in relation, telling you why heâs asking you this. You know he has lost too much, and to lose it all before itâs even started isnât in the cards for him. Still, you canât help the stubbornness that begs to fight with him.
âIâm not leaving you defenseless out there.âÂ
âThen defend us from here,â Logan says firmly, mind unchanging. âI will not lose you here. I am not going back to a future where you donât exist.â
Itâs quiet for a second, words processing in your head. You knew he loved you, but to see it run so deep at his declaration made you want to cry. How is it a man that you havenât known for long, can have such an effect on you? How is it that a part of him already runs so deeply inside you? It leaves you with the conclusion that if you are feeling all of this after a few days, then what he must be feeling is tenfold after a lifetime.Â
Your hands go to his face, mirroring him as you two stare at each other. Heâs waiting for you to accept what he is asking, eyes moving back and forth slightly like he is trying to read your response. You sigh deeply, swallowing the pill he wants you to take before you pull him down to your lips to seal your acceptance.Â
He grunts in surprise, but shortly after melts against you. Itâs a kiss molded into words, one that says âthank youâ and in kind says âIâll see you after this is all overâ. Itâs a kiss that says even when there truly is no time left, there is always time for this, for you, for him.
You pull away, eyes watering as you look at the man who will ultimately become your world and your savior in ways you canât begin to fathom. You give him one more good look, one more stroke of your thumbs against his facial hair, before dropping your hands to surrender.Â
âYou come back to me safe,â you assert. âI will do as much as I can from here.â
Logan responds by kissing your lips again, placing three quick kisses in succession before standing up to run off towards the mess. You peek over from your hiding spot, and you see two of the Sentinels on the ground in its robotic guts. You hear Hank roaring to your left, seeing him fly to the ground onto his back. The Sentinel he was fighting approaches, armed and ready to fire.Â
You clench your teeth as you put your arms out, the wounded one shooting signals to your brain that it aches terribly. However, you push through, focusing on the Sentinels mechanics and the timely energy around it. You watch it slowly come to a stop, and you see Hank look your way before you nod your head to tell him to get the job done.
You watch him spring into action, hands digging into the skull before ripping the head off. You let go, with the Sentinel now inactive, and turn to see Logan with his claws out digging into the chest of another one. His clawed fists go in and out over and over, the automaton down.Â
You go back and forth between Hank and Logan, ensuring them the time they need to defend themselves safely. Itâs a smooth rhythm, and you think things are going well, but then you see Erik appear a few feet away from Logan with metal pieces floating in the air. You go to stop Erik in his tracks, but then you hear running in your direction.Â
âRun!â You hear Hank yell, and you turn to see him sprinting away from two Sentinels.Â
âShit!â You curse, and in the blink of an eye you are running with him, bullets hot on your trail.
You run with purpose, dodging whatever the Sentinels sent your way, but your attention was focused on Logan, who was cutting away at any metallic pieces Erik threw at him. It was a dance, every step forward meant a step back, and from what you were witnessing Logan was the better dancer. However, Erik has always been good at catching up.
The Sentinels are gaining ground, and you knew something had to give. They were doing what they were created for, and they wouldnât stop now, not at this rate. You look at Hank as you both push on, and he looks back at you as he feels your eyes on him.
âWe need to split off!â You yell at him. âYou go towards that car over there, and Iâll go the opposite way.â
You both diverge, running away from one another in the hopes of confusing the Sentinels. You donât hear bullets in your space anymore, but it causes you to look and see Hank surrounded. You go to stop them, but then a gasp shoots from your lungs as you feel metal wrap around your wrists. Next thing you know, you are hanging in the air.
You are thrashing, wrists bound tightly. You see Erik approaching you, and you panic but not because he is approaching you. Itâs because you donât see Logan.
Fuck, whereâs Logan?
âIâm sorry, my little timelord,â Erik says with a hint of an actual apology. âThis is what happens when you donât choose a side.â
âI did what was best for me. No one else,â you grit out. You can feel blood start to trickle down your arm, the stretch opening your wound further.
âI guess youâll see how that turns out for you.â Erik sets you onto the ground with a thud, and suddenly you feel metal coil around your neck. You start to feel the pressure against your throat, making your eyes bulge.
âNo need to be scared, my dear. Just need you out of the picture for a few hours.â Your airways are getting crushed. Your hands are desperately trying to remove themselves from the makeshift cuffs, but to no avail.Â
The coughing fits start, lungs eager for some relief, but they cry out when none comes. Itâs strange to feel your lifespan waning, yet have your mind linger elsewhere.
Please be okay. God, please let Logan be safe.
As if your prayers were answered, you hear him in the distance. You can hear him shouting your name, and you ache at the sound. You are relieved, yet there is a sadness that sticks in your foggy brain. It almost makes you think that soul bonding is an actual force within the universe because you can tell what he is feeling. You can tell he feels like he is witnessing your death a second time.Â
The bondage of metal weakens, air filling your lungs at full capacity. Your hands automatically go to your throat, rubbing the raw skin as you inhale and exhale. Your bearings are dispersed, and you work to gather all the pieces so you can see what is happening. It isnât until you hear Logan yelling in pain, followed by grunts that rip from his gut, that you shoot up. Your eyes focus and what you see burns your chest as you let out a scream that processes faster than your mind can.
Metal rods pierce Loganâs body, curling into his legs and up his chest. They enter and exit like thread, and his facial expression is one of agony. His head turns towards you, his eyes screaming for you to look away and to run and never look back. However, your fears, your anger, your love for him is overcoming and it doesnât take long for you to snap.
Your body screams as you move to your knees and throw your arms up, the aches telling you to stop wearing yourself further. Your power is straining, but your emotions are fueling the fire. No amount of pain will ever amount to the pain of losing Logan.Â
You slam your fists to the ground, a ricochet from the impact spreading. Time stops in motion, the waves of your power spreading and catching everything in its wake. The pain increases, but you donât care about that. You only care about Logan.
Everything is still aside from Loganâs body shakes. You run to him, falling to your knees to get closer. Your energy is depleting as you hold onto time, making your mind race to figure out what to do to help him. Your hands keep going to touch the rods, but back away every time he shudders with discomfort.
âLogan, tell me what to do,â you plead. âTell me what I need to do to get these out.â
âFuckâŚâ Logan is working his jaw, seemingly trying to calm himself down. âTry pulling on one.â
You nod, placing both hands on a rod buried in his back. You counted down from three, and with a deep breath you pulled as hard as you could. The second Logan started yelling though, you let go.
âShit! Please stop!â Logan shouts, the metal rods excruciating.
âLogan, we need to get these out of you please.â You were starting to sob; your hands running over his neck and face to try and soothe him.
âSweetheart, please,â Logan grunts, trying not to move too much. âI promise you this wonât kill me.â
âBut you are suffering,â you whisper, tears staining your face as new ones form. âI can hold this just please. You have to push them out or something.â
Something changes in Loganâs face, a sense of realization as you watch his eyes widen. A broken laugh leaves his lips, eyes glossing. âI finally understand.â
âW-what?â You stutter.
âI desperately wanted to save you, and I couldnât. You had begged me not to, and I couldnât fathom it.â He starts to cough, groans filling the cracks. âBut I understand now. Iâm sorry for not understanding before.â
âPlease donât,â you choke. âThat doesnât matter. What matters now is getting these out of you.âÂ
Your hands go to the rods again, but his hand grabs yours before you make contact. You are sure you look pitiful, especially as you arenât one to beg. You guess when feelings get so strong, it doesnât matter. Your heart is fully on your sleeve for Logan to see, and what you are showing is reflected in his pretty, glossy, hazel eyes.Â
âI need you to promise me something, sweetheart,â Logan says gently. âI need you to promise me that you will find me.â
âWhere? Where will I find you?â Your voice wavers, unable to keep your emotions at bay.Â
âYou know I canât say, baby.â Loganâs hand squeezes yours, trying to be reassuring. âBut you have before. I know you will find me again.â
You donât know what to think of that. It could be years before you find him. Will it be right before the world goes to shit? Will it be in a decade or two from now? How can you go on living your life as normal when you donât know when you will find him? Or how can you live knowing he isnât right beside you?
âDonât overthink this. Everything will be okay.â
You sniffle as you look at him, a tired smile on his face. A small laugh passes through your sobs. âNot very in character for you to be optimistic.â
âAnd it will be the last time you see me so optimistic for a long time,â Logan smirks. âBut you can change that.â
You get on your stomach, moving so your face is level with his and kiss him one last time. Itâs bittersweet, tasting him on your tongue. You hope you are conveying the answer he is looking for, one that tells him you promise to move heaven and earth for him. One that tells him you promise you are his, and no one will ever have you for as long as you both live. A promise that tells him you will find your way home to him, and you will bring him home to you.
You let go, breath wavering as you know what you are about to witness. Even with his reassurance, it will be hard to watch, and you know the tears will fall. It is inevitable.
âBaby, go find Charles. Make sure he is okay and stick with him. Once you find him, let me go.â
You nod, pecking his lips one more time before getting up to your feet. You look at him, taking in every detail that imprints your memory, making sure to never forget that the man before you is your soulmate for life.
âI love you, Logan.â You say with teary eyes.Â
âI love you. Iâll see you soon.â He smiles, before closing his eyes, preparing himself.
You quickly run off, afraid that if you didnât you wouldnât allow yourself to. You run over to the giant terrain of rubble where Charles was, and you see him lying there frozen like everything else. You maneuver into his spot, a tight fit with enough room for you to situate yourself. You look back out onto the field, and you quiver as you see Logan lying there just waiting as he suffers in pain. You look down, eyes squeezing tight before you snap your fingers, a heavy weight off your shoulders as you suck in a deep breath.
âOh darling, when did you get in here?â
You open your eyes to see Charles, breathing heavier than usual as he lays in discomfort. You work to prop him up, holding onto him so he can sit up right. It is at that moment you hear yelling, and you look back out to see Logan in the air with Erik holding his metallic weight. You want to look away, unable to bear the sight, but they stay glued to them. Then, you see Erik flex his fingers.
As you watch Logan fly away, your lungs urge a cry to curl out into the atmosphere, but you suppress it. After everything, you have faith in him. He gave you the faith you needed to believe everything will turn out alright. Even as you watch Erik yank the bunker up from the ground and out the White House, you have faith that the future will be safe, because you wonât let Logan down. You have a promise to keep.
Logan has become your Orion; your guiding star. He has become your alpha and your omega. He is your sole mission in this life, and he is not a mission you plan to fail.
You will set things right, and you will find him.Â
Xavierâs School for Gifted Youngsters; Westchester, NY; Year 2023
The first time ever I saw your faceâŚ
Music. Soft, calming music enters his conscience. Heâs heard this melody before in the same fashion, but that was forever ago, right?Â
I thought the sun rose in your eyesâŚ
Logan stirs, his brain doing a leap and a jump from REM sleep as it tries to wake up. He has lived this moment before, as the music says he has. Is he back to where he started? Or is it something else?
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gaveâŚ
Where is he? The last thing he remembers was drowning. Metal pierced his body so deep he could taste it with freshwater. It should linger, but it doesnât. He doesnât taste anything abnormal. Heâs on a bed. Did someone save him? Whose bed is this?Â
To the dark and the endless skiesâŚ
His eyes open, sunlight shining brightly as they adjust. The room is familiar, and it dawns on him that itâs because it is his room. Their room.Â
He turns to his side slowly, his body still adjusting to whatever the fuck it was heâs waking up to. He sees the little radio on the bedside table, the holographic globe spinning as the words âGolden Oldiesâ glide around it.Â
And the first time ever I kissed your mouthâŚ
Holy shit⌠he did it.Â
Suddenly, the door opens, and nothing could have prepared him.Â
âHey, sleepyhead!â
There you were in all your glory. You were dressed for the day: a tight and long black velvet skirt with a short black sleeve shirt and black combat boots. There are little crow's feet and bunny lines by your eyes and your hair has grown out. He is starstruck, and his heart is threatening to leap out of his chest.
You walked up to him, your legs touching the bed as you looked down at him. âI know I look good. No need to let the flies in.â
Logan shuts his mouth, moving to sit up. There are so many things he wants to say, do. But nothing will come out. All he can do is stare and bumble like an idiot.
âYou know itâs nine, right? You missed your first class.âÂ
His class?
âWhat?â
âDonât worry, Lo. Your students got a little lesson from me about 70s music culture, so they werenât totally out of a history lesson.â You say with a wink.
He doesnât respond, eyes mesmerized as you walk over to the desk, putting away folders from what he assumes was the previous class.
âCan you believe these kids know nothing about the Ramones? Or even ELO or Fleetwood Mac? Itâs blasphemous.â You shut the drawer, and go to lean back against the desk, smiling at him.
âIâll get up, baby. Donât you worry about me.â You say in a mock deep voice, pushing yourself off the furniture. âLast night must have really worn you out for you to sleep like the dead.âÂ
You are giggling and Logan is on edge. You are here. You are alive. He was hopeful that would be the case, but to see everything come to fruition was a lot to process.Â
âLo, baby, are you okay?â You are in front of him, moving in between his legs.Â
He canât help himself. He has his arms around your thighs, pulling you onto his lap. His hand secures itself at the nape of your neck, bringing your head down to his so his lips can intercept yours. Your skirt has ridden up, scrunching up at your ass giving Logan the chance to mold his hand into the flesh. He kisses you with ferocity, needing everything from you.
âLogan,â you laughed between his kisses. âI canât believe you want to go again after last night, you dog.â
âYouâre here,â Logan groans against your lips. âMy baby, youâre here.â
âOf course Iâm here. Why wouldnât I be?â Your hands scratch his head, and he simpers as his mouth attaches to your neck, sniffing your pulse point as he keeps you firmly against him. You smell so good, so much so he wants to soak you into his skin.
âYou are acting so strange right now, baby. Are you sure everything is okay?â
Logan lays his head against your chest, listening to your heart flutter away. He could cry listening to it, the comforting sound creating a lullaby that will lull his sore head to rest. Itâs different hearing it now, knowing that when he wakes up once more, you will be here. You will be by his side when he goes to sleep at night, and when he wakes up. He will share every sunset and sunrise with you, something he will never take for granted for even a second.Â
He feels your hands cradling his head, keeping it steady as he starts to rock you in his arms. âWhat are you thinking, Lo?â
He lifts his head to look at you, your eyes full of warmth. You are looking at him with such patience and poise. Your hands are still on his head, and he goes to move them to his temples.Â
âShift my mind.â
âLogan,â you say, taken aback and unsure but he quells your worry with another slow kiss.
âTrust me,â he murmurs against your mouth. âI need you to understand what I am feeling right now.â
He shuts his eyes, hoping you will indulge him and he smiles when he feels the warmth at his temples spread. He thought his mind going back to his last memory of drowning would cause panic, but he is calm. Maybe itâs because you are able to keep him afloat as you rewind what played out.
It is short lived, but soon he feels your hands go down to the scruff of his facial hair. He opens his eyes and he sees the tears welling in your eyes with a smile.Â
âMy God, you did it. You remember,â you choked out. Logan canât help but smother your lips again before kissing your tears away.
âYou did a lot of the heavy lifting, sweetheart.â Logan chuckles against your skin. âBut most importantly,â he pulls away, hands going to your face to make sure you understand how sincere he is. âYou found me. Just like you promised me.â
âI said I would,â you say through tears. âI was determined to find you. To share this life with you.â
This life. A life with all the good things and even the bad ones. A life that he gets to live with you. This new life: a second chance. With this second chance, he isnât going to waste it.Â
âClose your eyes,â Logan says with a peck.
You shut them, and he carefully sets you on the bed for him to stand up. He rushes to the bookshelf, hoping that in this new timeline he was smart enough to have gotten the one thing that showed complete and utter devotion. Even more so, he hopes he hid it where he originally had.Â
He finds the royal blue spine, pulling it out to open to the first few pages before the hole within the book is revealed. His lips turn with a quiver, seeing the ring just as it was before. He picks it up, holding it out in the sunlight to watch the diamond sparkle and the gold ban shine. Itâs simple but you were never one for extravagant things. After a life of running free, you wanted the simple life and that is exactly what he will give you.
He walks back around the bed, getting on his knees to settle between your legs as he spreads them. Your skirt rode up again and he canât help but kiss your left thigh and give the other a squeeze. The sweetest noise comes from you, and it only makes him nip at the skin.Â
âGod, you are such a tease.â
âI canât resist,â he hums before lifting his head. He holds out the ring and with care takes your left hand in his right.Â
âGo ahead and open those pretty eyes for me.âÂ
He watches your eyes flutter open, a gasp falling from your lips when your eyes fall onto his palm. Your fingers instinctively went to it, and Logan held it more towards you to let them grace the ring.Â
âIâve thought about how Iâve wanted to do this so many times,â Logan starts. âSo much so that I pushed it off until it was too late. I will not make that same mistake twice.â
âLogan,â you say with your fingers trailing to his face, as if telling him nothing is his fault. He knows.
âI know I have so much to catch up on and learn. There will be things I am not aware of. You may be different, and I may be different,â He takes the ring and your left hand, holding it near but not quite enacting the officiality. âBut the one thing that will never change is how you will always be at the forefront of my mind because I am nothing without you. At the end of the day, I want to come home to you as your husband and you as my wife if you will have me.â
This is such a vulnerable moment, and there was a time where it would eat him up alive. However, being right here with you, proposing to you in this shared room under the light of the morning, encourages him like nothing else. Vulnerability with you gives him strength.
You are biting your lip, eyes watering again as you nod your head profusely. âPut that ring on my finger, handsome.â
He slides the ring onto your ring finger, settling into place perfectly. You held it up, and he watched as you admired the piece, the sparkle of the diamond reflecting in your eyes. It sparks you to look back at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and he notices you shift until your lower body pushes him onto the floor. Your arms bring him in, his head meeting yours as lips reconnect once more.
âI love you so much, Logan. I am truly the luckiest woman alive.âÂ
All he can think is if you were the luckiest woman, then he is the luckiest man. One decision could have led to a world in which you didnât exist or one where you two would just be specks living completely different lives. To have woken up in a new world, one thatâs more promising, is luck after the hell he had experienced. Having you here in his lap, kissing him like he is the center of your universe, makes him weep with joy.Â
You are his world, and in this new life, rather than the world stopping, it continues to spin forward.
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett smut#logan howlett angst#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#logan howlett fic#logan smut#logan angst#logan fic#x-men fic#my fics
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Saw a shadowcast for Rocky Horror Picture Show and imagine you are in it and the person playing Rocky canât show last minute so you beg Logan to take his place and he canât resist you so he AGREES
#COULD YOU IMAGINE???#he can t-t-t-t-t-t touch meeeee#imagine him oiled up PLEASE#logan howlett x reader
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Listen I enjoy writing smut but GOD why is it literally so hard to write sometimes
#im currently at that part for the logan fic (finally)#trying to use different descriptors is HARD#at least i feel it is when Ive written so much smut#j's brain
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Kinktober Day 1 ~ Wardrobe Malfunction
Logan Howlett x Fem! Reader
Summary: Your bikini top suddenly falls off at the beach and Logan sees you. Minors DNI!
A/N: Happy first day of Kinktober! I'm very excited, I hope you all enjoy!
*â§ď˝Ľďž: Next
Kinktober '24 Masterlist
You never thought something like this would happen to you.
Your bikini top, the one whose string you triple-knotted to make sure it stayed on, came off.
The horror on your face was apparent when a breeze connected to your chest and the fabric attached to your skin disappeared. Whatâs even worse was that your top fell off right in front of Logan, a man you were crushing on so hard it was ridiculous.
You two were in the water, basking in the sun. It turned to a playful fight, droplets clinging to you as Logan kept attacking you with water. The fight led to him grabbing you and tossing you over his shoulder. When you came up for air, thatâs when it happened.
You know he saw you. Your breasts in his line of sight, soaked in that seawater. His eyes were almost out of their sockets with how long he stared at you. You quickly covered yourself up with your arms, seeing your top floating in the water before grabbing it, rushing to get out.
âWhere are ya going?â Logan shouted from behind you.
You didnât answer but heard his rushing footsteps. The rest of the team gawked at the two of you when you ran across the beachâfeet dusted with sand, going to the nearest cabana. You felt flustered, face burning up. Now, youâve made everything awkward. Your relationship with Logan, built on respect and genuine care, was gone. All because your top decided to be complicated.
Logan called your name outside and your muscles tensed.
âYou okay?â
No, he just saw your breasts on full display. You were far from okay.
âIâm fine. Go back to the others.â
So you can forget that it ever happened.
âWell, donât ya need help putting that back on?â
You froze, remembering that your top had four strings. Ororo helped you tie the one across your back the first time.
âOkay, just be quick.â
Your back was still towards him, not wanting to look him in the eye. You tried not to focus on his large, slightly wrinkled hands when he helped you with your topâcarefully tying the string against your back. As you handed him the strings to go around your neck, your fingertips brushed along his.
âIâm sorry.â You started apologizing: âI thought the top was tied on tight.â
âItâs alright. Not the first pair Iâve seen before.â You roll your eyes, embarrassment quickly fading away as you remember his conquests. âBut theyâre the best ones Iâve seen so far.â
You forced out a laugh, âDonât make me kick you out.â
âIâm serious.â When you turn around, his lowered eyes search your face for any hint to show you were uncomfortable. You werenât. âI wish I couldâve seen them under different circumstances but fuck, Iâm glad I did.â
âWhatâs the different circumstances?â
Logan glances towards the entrance before going back to you. âIn my bed. After I take you out on a few dates.â
âOh.â You blink at the subtle confession. âDidnât think youâd last after one date.â
His mouth twitches in amusement, âWith someone like you, I can.â
Maybe you were glad that your top did what it did, otherwise you wouldâve spent another day pining for Logan. Now, it was clear he also had the hots for you, an idea appeared in your head.
âWanna see them again?â
Logan let out a low breath and a curt nod. You reach behind you, untying the knot he made. Logan grabbed your top, stuffing it in his pockets, eyes never leaving your exposed chest.
âFuck me. Look at youâŚâ
His eyes search your breasts. How they sat so prettily, almost shining due to minuscule drops of water on your skin. The way Logan stared at you made your stomach twist. He stepped closer, raising his hand with an urge to touch, not before asking for permission.
You barely got the âyesâ out when heâs on you. Logan cupped your breast, groaning at how perfectly you fit in his palm. You grip his shoulder when he leans down and capture your lips in a kiss.
Itâs hot and heavy as your tongues slide amongst each other. Loganâs still playing with your breast, flicking the nipple with his thumb. He swallows whatever noises come out of you, not wanting to alert the rest of the team. Your hand digs into his messy hair when he parts to kiss your neck. You warn him not to mark you because you donât want to be bombarded with questions when you two return home.
Logan listens, only placing kisses on you, trailing down to your chest. The source that started everything. You tug on his hair when he captures a breast in his mouth. While doing so, his arm goes under your bottom to pick you up. The action makes you gasp, your legs wrapping around his waist.
You hold Loganâs face close to you as heâs sucking on your nipple, determined to replace the seawater with his saliva. He lets out another groan when switching to your other breast, wanting to do this to you all day. Your moans let him know you didnât want him to stop.
âHey? You two okay in there?â
Scott called, and you tugged on Loganâs hair to get him to stop. âYeah! Weâre fine. Weâre about to come out!â
âOkay...â
After hearing Scott walk away from the cabana, Logan growls against your breasts.
âFucking boy scout.â
You snort, kissing the top of his head, âWe can continue when we get back.â
Logan grunts, licking at the valley of your breasts before helping you get down. He ties up your top again and walks you out.
If anyone wants to be tagged for the other days, let me know! Please make sure you have your age in your bio, intro post, any place that I can see.
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