#and therefore with enough discipline and time i will be on the levels of those people you see clips of on idk yt shorts

[appleonjust-ice]

my dad is convinced through some weird line of logic that i would be a prodigal drummer because ive played rhythm games since i was about 5

[astroeleanor]

The MOST Difficult Birth Chart Placements

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

DISCLAIMER

The descriptions of difficult placements are based on astrological teachings and are not definitive or absolute. It is important to remember that every individual is unique, and a natal chart should be considered holistically. Challenging placements can also present opportunities for growth and personal development. The purpose of this post is to affirm your life experience.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

8H MOON or 12H MOON

Having an 8H Moon means dealing with deep transformations & crises. This placement often brings you face-to-face with your deepest fears, traumas, and hidden desires. Every experience seems to touch you on a soul-deep level. Crises and intense situations are a part of your emotional journey, and they shape who you are in significant ways. It’s like life keeps pushing you to transform, to shed old skins and emerge anew, stronger and more resilient each time.

But this depth also means you carry a lot inside. Your emotional world is complex and layered, full of nuances that others might not easily understand. You might struggle with trusting people, afraid to let them see the raw, vulnerable parts of you. It can be lonely, carrying these intense feelings, but it also gives you incredible strength & insight into complex emotions others shy away from or suppress.

With a 12H Moon, subconscious struggles and hidden fears are brought to the surface. This placement may feel like your emotions are a mystery even to you, often leading to a sense of isolation or self-undoing (unless managed). Moon in the 12H brings your unconscious thought patterns to light, making your emotions feel elusive and hard to pin down–almost like trying to catch smoke with your hands.

You might find yourself wrestling with feelings that you can’t quite understand or explain. This can manifest in moments of self-undoing, where your unresolved issues pull you into patterns of self-sabotage.

It’s tough because your emotions are so deeply buried that it’s hard to bring them to light. But acknowledging these hidden parts of yourself is the first step toward healing. Learn to listen to those quiet, internal nudges and understanding that it’s okay to feel lost sometimes. Sit in the uncertainty, you will find the way.

CAPRICORN OR AQUARIUS MOON

Saturn-ruled moons often equate vulnerability with weakness, and this fear can prevent them from forming deep emotional connections. This placement can also symbolize having a strong sense of responsibility from a young age, therefore feeling burdened by the need to succeed and provide. Remember those times when you felt like you had to grow up faster than everyone else? While other kids were playing, you were already thinking about the future, about success, about PROVIDING. It’s a heavy burden to carry, and it can make you feel like you’re constantly walking uphill.

This placement means you’re incredibly disciplined, which is a strength, no doubt. But it also means you might feel an overwhelming pressure to succeed. You set the bar HIGH, and anything less than perfection feels like failure. It’s a relentless but exhausting drive, a need to always prove yourself, to always be enough.

Imagine carrying a backpack filled with rocks, each one representing a responsibility, a fear, a self-imposed standard. How much lighter would you feel if you could set that backpack down, even just for a moment? Vulnerability is a form of courage. It’s saying, “Here I am, with all my flaws and fears,” and still showing up.

SCORPIO OR ARIES MOON

Mars-ruled Moons feel things INTENSELY, but that can get overwhelming. For Scorpio, there's a push & pull, as you navigate through the intensity of your emotions or deep-seated fears. Trust is a big deal for you, and it doesn’t come easily. You’ve probably been hurt before, and those wounds run deep. It’s hard to let people in when you’re constantly bracing for the next betrayal or disappointment. You build walls around your heart, not because you don’t want to love, but because you’re scared of what might happen if you do.

Jealousy and possessiveness can creep in, adding to the emotional turmoil. When you care about someone, you care fiercely, and the thought of losing them can drive you to places you don’t want to go. It’s not that you want to control them, but the fear of losing them or being hurt again can be overwhelming.

This intensity is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it gives you a deep, intuitive understanding of others. You can see through facades and connect with people on a profound level. On the other hand, it can feel like you’re constantly battling with your own emotions, trying to find a balance between holding on and letting go.

You’re a warrior (Mars) in your own right, fighting battles that most people can’t even see. It’s okay to feel vulnerable and to acknowledge that this emotional intensity is a part of who you are. It’s okay to take things slow, to let trust build over time, and to find ways to soothe that inner turmoil.

Instead, Aries Moons feel everything intensely & immediately–your emotions can flare up quickly. Patience isn’t your strongest suit, so you might find yourself reacting before even having time to think things through, pointing to emotional burnout. When you get mad, you get MAD. Your temper can flare up in an instant, and before you know it, you’ve reacted without even thinking things through.Your emotions are right there bubbling on the surface, ready to explode. Of course, this can lead to misunderstandings and clashes with the people around you.

But here’s the thing, you also bring energy and excitement to everything you do. When you’re happy, you light up the room: your enthusiasm is contagious. It’s okay to acknowledge that this intensity can be tough to handle. It’s okay to admit that sometimes, you need to step back and breathe before reacting. Learning to take a moment, to pause and reflect, can help you manage those quick flares of emotion and prevent burnout.

1H SATURN OR SATURN CONJUNCT ASCENDANT

This placement can indicate that you’ve had to grow up fast, carrying a sense of responsibility that kids your age didn’t even think about. There’s this underlying pressure to be perfect, to always have it together, to be the rock for everyone else. In those moments when the burden feels too heavy, remember that it’s okay to put it down for a while. It’s okay to take care of yourself and to recognize your own worth, not just for what you do, but for who you are. You’re not alone in this journey, and it’s okay to ask for help. Carrying the weight has made you strong, but sharing the load can make you even stronger.

1H PLUTO

Power struggles, constantly re-inventing yourself & healing the deep issues that people usually shy away from, are a big theme for 1H Pluto. You might find yourself on the brink of change every 5 business days, asserting your dominance & affirming your power. There are moments when everything feels like it’s crumbling around you, and you’re left to pick up the pieces and start anew. It’s exhausting and can make you feel like you’re never truly settled, never truly yourself. But each time you rebuild, you become stronger, more resilient, and more in tune with your true self.

4H PLUTO

This placement can symbolize a tumultuous home life, where finding a sense of stability & security was incredibly difficult. These dynamics may have left deep emotional scars, making you wary of getting too close or trusting people too easily. Your home environment might have been complex, with unspoken rules and hidden agendas shaping your early experiences. Growing up might have felt like walking on eggshells, never knowing when the next emotional storm would hit. You know what it’s like to face the darkness and come out the other side. You’ve learned to navigate emotional depths that others might shy away from, and this makes you incredibly strong and compassionate.

VENUS SQUARE/OPPOSITE SATURN, CAPRICORN OR AQUARIUS VENUS:

You might feel like there’s an invisible barrier blocking you from truly connecting with others–but it's not that you don’t want closeness—it’s that you’re terrified of being hurt, of opening up and then being rejected. This fear can make it hard to let people in, even when your heart is longing for connection. You might find yourself questioning if you’re worthy of love. There’s this lingering doubt that no matter how much you give or how hard you try, it’s never enough. This can lead to a cycle of pushing people away just when they start to get close, out of fear that they’ll leave you first. It’s a defense mechanism, but one that often leaves you feeling even more isolated and lonely. These struggles aren’t just in your head—they’re real, and they’re tough. But recognizing them is the first step towards healing. It’s about understanding that this aspect of your chart isn’t a life sentence, but it’s a challenge to be faced and overcome. Remember, you are worthy of love and affection just as you are. The journey might be tough, but it’s one that leads to deeper, more meaningful connections and a stronger sense of self. Embrace your vulnerability, because it’s through facing these fears that you’ll find true, lasting love.

12H MARS

This can be a tough placement because it often feels like you’re fighting battles no one else can see. There’s a tendency towards self-sabotage, as the aggressive energy of Mars turns inward. You might find yourself in situations where you feel unable to express the intensity of your emotions or assert your power. You may even find it hard to assert yourself openly, leading to suppressed anger & frustration that festers over time. The key is flipping the script, and working on empowering yourself, healing self-sabotaging tendencies, etc. Your subconscious isn’t your enemy, but a part of you that needs acknowledgment and care.

4H MARS

You might have grown up in an environment where arguments & tensions were the norm, leaving you feeling constantly on edge, scared, or unsettled. This placement can make it hard to find peace at home, and you might struggle with feeling safe & secure in your adult life. Finding healthy outlets for your anger and learning to create a sense of security within yourself can help transform that destabilizing, Mars energy into something positive. It can help you break the cycle of conflict and create a home environment that nurtures you rather than wounds.

1H CHIRON

Chiron in the 1H feels like carrying a wound that no one else can see, but that you can always feel. It's a deep pain tied to your identity, that constant struggle with self-acceptance & stepping out of your shell. You might often find yourself second-guessing who you are, feeling like you need to hide parts of yourself to be accepted. It’s like wearing a mask, trying to be who you think others want you to be because being your true self feels too risky. Maybe you faced criticism that cut deep and left scars on your self-esteem. This can make stepping into the spotlight, or even just being comfortable in your own skin, incredibly challenging. But, as you work through your own pain, you become a beacon of hope and support for others. Your vulnerability becomes your strength, showing others that it’s okay to have wounds, to feel out of place and that healing is possible. In embracing your true self, flaws and all, you inspire others to do the same.

This is Part 1! Let me know if you want to see more placements and the difficulties they can indicate.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Thank you for taking the time to read my post! Your curiosity & engagement mean the world to me. I hope you not only found it enjoyable but also enriching for your astrological knowledge. Your support & interest inspire me to continue sharing insights & information with you. I appreciate you immensely. • 🕸️ JOIN MY PATREON for exquisite & in-depth astrology content. You'll also receive a free mini reading upon joining. :) • 🗡️ BOOK A READING with me to navigate your life with more clarity & awareness.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[sativaonsaturn]

random sun observations

some of these are based on requests :)

libra sun

great conversationalists! they know how to read a room or even just the person they’re talking to and do a great job catching the vibe so to speak. given that, sometimes they can mirror the people they’re around too. because of this sometimes people may think libra likes them even if they don’t 😭 a lot of times the only way you’ll know how libra feels (especially september) is if they reach a boiling point or if you know them well enough.

they’re great at dressing themselves as well, i’ve never seen a libra who didn’t know how to carry themselves. even if a libra chooses to dress down, they still happen to look put together.

if you’re dating/ pursuing one, (ofc factor in their venus) they typically love love. so (if they really like you) they’re dedicated, love a storybook relationship and will absolutely provide you with that in return. also very diplomatic in any relationship, they want things to be balanced and fair - but keep in mind this depends on their own moral compass, not yours.

capricorn sun

disclaimer! i’ll try my best not to be biased 😭 but i’ve had the worst experiences with them; i have to be honest before i begin.

capricorns are literally the goat, so often they can be blinded by their “horns”. meaning that their pride can make them short sided, especially the men. this can be good sometimes because when a cap goes for something they get it. saturn is about learning from mistakes, discipline; a lot of capricorns go through some real shit before they’re even adults. that being said they are often harder than most and therefore sometimes have a difficult time maintaining interpersonal relationships - they’re often too focused on results and surviving for too long.

often very funny, dry humor. like other earth signs, they tend to just get it. the men tend to spend quite a bit unless developed. they also tend to buy things because they’re 5 star or the most expensive, not necessarily because of the quality. however, great providers and if you are relying on one to get shit done, get somewhere on time, to lead a team - cap is the one because of their tunnel vision and practicality.

aquarius sun

another sign who just gets it. aquarians are the people who laugh at the joke no one got, who catch the little nuances, who actually do like things before they’re cool. i’ve said previously they are one of the most intelligent signs because of how much they observe and how much they remember.

people tend to dub this sign as emotionless but similar to aquarius moon, i think people just misunderstand how they handle emotions as a whole. they need to intellectualize and understand their emotions on a practical level before addressing them. also they’re ruled by uranus, so the way they see the world is always going to be different or abstract. but if you lead with patience, they’re usually open to talking out their feelings/ thoughts - aquas just want to know that you want to understand, that you’re open minded.

very practical and sometimes worry too much. usually on time to every event/ job and great planners because they think of everything. i will note however, that they tend to be very forgetful or reckless until they’re developed. they are often the children who break their glasses a lot or lose their new sweater 😭

as they rule the 11th house (networking), they are wonderful, fun and considerate friends. they make jokes about literally everything (very unserious people 💀) and often give thoughtful gifts because of how observant they are.

leo sun

truly the life of the party, they really carry the sun wherever they go. if it seems like they always have energy it’s because they do, whether it’s natural or manufactured. i’ve found that they can’t be as high functioning if they stay in a funk too long. even if these people are insecure, they will create the confidence.

they often do care about how others perceive them, especially those close to them. this includes leos who are less of the golden retriever type and more of the lioness type. lioness leos are the ones who walk and talk w/ pride, command attention and respect, usually leaders. golden retriever leos are usually bubbly, friends w/ everyone, keeps things light and jovial. sometimes they tend to let things slide or don’t say what they mean because they’d like to maintain their image or aren’t actually as confident as they seem.

much like leo venus, they are passionate and intentional lovers. very thoughtful and compassionate friends too. you want a leo in your life if you want someone who will bring you warmth and a sense of belonging.

sativaonsaturn 🪐🍃

[youremyheaven]

Omg rahu-ketu post😳

I was actually discussing my struggles around having prominent swati in my chart and staying grounded in my own reality on a forum fairly recently.

I have a very rich inner world which I essentially live in most of the time, and sometimes I feel like I miss out of my own life because I’m so detached. Limerence is also a big struggle for me, I find it much easier to centre myself in the energy of someone else than to be responsible for my own reality, which I guess comes from the things you talked about like rahu being a shadow planet and the mythology of rahu and obsession.

I also spend a large amount of time on social media and playing games 😶‍🌫️ I’ve tried to make uses of the positives by channeling my imagination into something tangible like art, but I have a hard time actually putting in the work to develop skills since I’m so distracted all the time. I think I’ve spent too much time in my head and now I’ve forgotten how to be in my body lol (my ADHD isn’t helping either💀)

Swati I think is especially a difficult nak because the libra/venus influence is only enabling rahu’s indulgence, unlike saturn or to a lesser extent mercury.

Aside from my personal whinings- the thing you said about occult/astro kind of intrigued me. All of my close family (incl. grandparents, uncles, etc) have atleast one rahu or ketu nak in their big 3, usually being ardra, mula or swati.

My mother’s side has lots of psychics and we have a dream interpretation system that gets passed down the family, whilst my father’s side has many tarot readers. My dad himself is an occultist who is interested in Thelema, astral projection, etc. There’s some interest in astrology on both sides but not particularly in depth and my parents usually end asking me about the transits. Oh yeah and I guess I had that one psychic dream last November that came true the morning after.

In general, my family has a history of very eccentric characters who occasionally got exiled or imprisoned or some crazy shit 😭 I feel like that’s just average Eastern European family lore though. Do you think such isolation is nodal? I think it is but there might be other planetary influence.

That’s enough yapping for today though. Interested to see your post on the positives❤️

Your observation about Swati is spot on

I do think Nodal influence+ well placed/strong Rahu & Ketu are necessary for learning and immersing yourself in the occult. Someone who cannot channel it well will remain ignorant of it no matter how much they read or study it. In some ways the Nodes can be understood as layers of the subconscious and the unconscious. The nodes represent karma (Ketu does) and our unconscious mind is our accumulated karma, if we remain ignorant of it, we will let it guide all our actions and lead us to self destruction. Therefore to have strong/well placed Nodes means you're aware of the different layers of your mind as a result of which you can understand the different layers of reality. Nodal influence creates a fog/veil that cannot be lifted until we gain true gnosis. This is why Nodal people get lost in addictive substances/pass times/people/ interests because their own reality feels foggy/veiled to them so they can only access it from other things. Obviously this is another form of Maya or illusion and that's why even these natives struggle with it. You hate the thing even as you indulge in it because on some level you realise that you're losing yourself to it.

Immersing yourself in the occult requires a certain discipline and consistency that can be hard for Nodal natives (malefic influenced, badly placed etc) to master unless it's well aspected but those who do master it are able to perceive reality and understand the esoteric realm in a truly sublime way. It's rare and magnetic.

I do think Nodal influence can contribute to being exiled/imprisoned/being isolated. There is a reason why 5/6 Nodal nakshatras all belong to the Shudra caste which is the lowest. These natives live lives that are "unusual" or different from the norm. They are "detached" because their life experiences already set them apart from others. They don't belong to the mainstream because they've been put in circumstances where they've been deprived of what is "normal".

Like I said in my post, what is "unusual" can vary a lot and can mean sooo many different things. Majority of the "child star gone wild" type celebrities have heavy Nodal influence. Why? because it's "unusual" for a child to be working or attaining fame and wealth or for their family to use them for the same. When you're deprived of anything ordinary or real, you depend on substances/unhealthy relationships/habits etc to feel centred. This is why after a point these stars "go rogue or wild". They amass a lot of wealth/fame but ultimately they're unable to benefit from it or enjoy it. This is also unusual as these are things typically understood as blessings. Being in a position where you can't connect to or relate to others is a very Nodal experience. That's why a lot of people with these placements are so introverted and withdrawn. If you're a famous child actor, you can't quite go to school and connect to the experiences of other people your age so you feel "isolated". Being imprisoned/exiled is another such experience. It permanently alters you and you don't know how to connect to others who haven't been through it.

I do think isolation is a big theme in the lives of Nodal people. It can be literal or emotional. But it's also obviously influenced by the rest of the chart. Heavy 12h placements also make a native experience the same themes to some extent.

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

The "humbleness is a psychological obstacle" anon reminds me of old fandom talk in the 2018-2019 about Shoma not having a winning mentality and/or mental strength to win, therefore, he's not winning the gold medals (this goes hand in hand with the "he doesn't want to improve" talk). I guess Shoma's personality is consistent enough that the assumptions about his drive tends to revolve around the same thing. But at the end of the day, Shoma eventually got his accolades in a manner that befits him, so all those assumptions (that I think was a bit uncalled for) are for naught. I think what we need to consider is that... Shoma has been in this sport for a long time and has a lot more mileage than the current active skaters, because he competed so much and at the highest levels. It makes sense that Shoma's perspective is influenced by that experience. It's exhausting both physically and mentally to be at the top for so long without any real break, not even a long injury break. And let's be real, Ilia is going to be the technical benchmark for the men now provided he's not injured. Even Yuma after 4CC SP was already thinking his really high score is still lower than Ilia's. And I think Shoma respects his competitors to know that this technical benchmark won't be just for one or two competitions, it's going to be for years and seasons (he had experience going against Nathan). And so I think Shoma, knowing what his body has went through, wanting to skate in a way that allows him a future, know where his limits are. I remember at NHK this season, when Stephane asked him to do a 4S in the official practice, Shoma managed to land it but he admitted he was thinking "I hope I don't get injured" when he did it, because 4S was the jump that injured him the last time. So I think... maybe it's because I have been a fan of Shoma since 2018 but at this point I don't think his personality is an obstacle. He will get the results that is the best for him because he is facing skating in a manner that is true to himself. It's always been this way for his career.

💯 % agreed.

I think fans who haven't been around long enough can't know that Shoma's mentality was brought up a lot through his career. Ppl even badmouthed his mentality into him being "too lazy" and "uncaring for the sport", which could not have been more wrong. The "winning mentality" doesn't work for Shoma, he tried it, it didn't suit him and he grew past that "simple" approach. Shoma was and is much aware about what is in his capabilities and what not. He doesn't underestimate his competition, he's realistic.

And actually I think Shoma's growth in mentality over the years of his career brought him to where he is now, to those two world titles. He worked hard for his achievements. If it would have been only about winning he would have quit last season with a winning streak or he would not even come until this point now after the disasters of the 2019 GP series.

Shoma said it often enough, in this sport it's mostly about winning against yourself. And that's what Shoma did throughout his career even when he did not win every competition.

There are couple skaters who won every title possible and retired and that's ok if that's what was important to the person, but that never seemed to have been Shoma's goal. That's also why I think the prospect of an Olympic Gold is not what will keep him in competitions.

I am actually a bit annoyed that there is always talk about the missing Olympic Gold as if that's the only title that would make him a worthy champion, as if he hadn't proofed time and time again that he is a worthy champion just simply by staying among the top competitors for 9 consecutive years, even 10 years if you count 4CC2015! His worst place at Worlds was 7th and that was his debut. You can count at one hand how many times Shoma was off podium in his entire senior career. Shoma currently is the most decorated skater competing among all disciplines! He's a legend with or without Olympic Gold.

Shoma has a heart of a champion. What Shoma brings to this sport cannot be measured in titles and we can be very happy that he has such a long lasting career without any big injury breaks. I am just happy he still skates. I dunno maybe because I followed Shoma his entire senior career I am more than happy for what he achieved in his career and it's much more that seemed possible a few years ago. I remember very well the ppl who said Shoma won't last with his flawed jumping technique and look who got through his career without serious injury breaks and who is still here!!!

I may sound like a broken record, but everything that Shoma achieves now is a bonus. 😊

[tloujm]

Part XXXV: New Things

Author’s Notes: Sorry I didn’t get a chance to put this up on Friday like I wanted to. I have a general idea on the direction that I want this storyline to go, which is different than before. The thing about it is that if I continue, it won’t end as soon as I originally anticipated. I’m going to be taking a trip in January, so I will be offline a lot, but to make up for not putting out full chapters, I’m thinking about making headcanons that fit within this universe to fill the time in between. 

Genre: Angst with a side of Fluff

Summary: Joel gives Ellie a horseback riding lesson and has a talk with Wendy. He meets a newish member of Jackson.

Ship: Joel x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

“Don’t let go.” Ellie spoke up, fear laced in her voice.

“I won’t. Trust me, ” Joel replied quickly. “But most importantly, trust the horse.”

Joel was holding onto the reins of a young horse that Ellie was riding on. She only had a few lessons with the rest of the kids from the daycare prior to this private one with Joel. You and Wendy both agreed that since she was getting more comfortable with Jackson, that she may be ready to take on a hobby and what hobby was more useful than horseback riding. Joel really liked the idea as well. Regardless of if she started working routes or not, taking care of a horse taught a sense of discipline and responsibility.

In the months since he learned her name, she’d been using her voice a lot more, but mostly to get by rather than to express her personality. Therefore, it was moments like these that Joel really soaked in. Even if it was through fear, at least he knew he was witnessing the real Ellie. He was confident enough in not only his own skill level, but her connection to the horse to feel that she’d be ok. 

When she had her lessons with the rest of the kids, they all used well trained horses that were borrowed from other owners. This time, Joel wanted to make sure that she had her own so she could grow a connection and really get accustomed to the skill set. The first half of her first private lesson was spent picking out the horse. He was ok if it took her a long time to do so; the decision was more based on feeling than logic. 

The one she chose was not as trained up as Joel would have liked, but it was young and gentle; He figured they could grow together. This was one of the first horses Jackson had successfully bred. The settlement had been able to acquire such a large herd over years of trading and taming from the wild. It wasn’t until a year back when a pair of veterinarians began calling Jackson their home did the stable become a breeding ground. Joel’s goal was to get Ellie comfortable with riding first, then introduce the two of them to safe locations beyond the wall so they could experience riding in different terrain. 

“This one.” She said just above a whisper. Joel got off the pile of hay he settled on about a half hour back.

“Yeah? You sure?” He looked down at her. She nodded back up with confidence. “Good choice.” He moved into the stall to quickly examine the young animal. “Looks like a male. I think the vet said this one was a Morgan and American Quarter mix…Lemme check here…” He pulled out the clipboard hanging from the stall door. 

“Is that good?” 

He chuckled a bit. “Mmhmm, that’s good. Now Ellie, don’t it look like he needs a name?”

“He doesn’t have one yet?”

“His chart doesn’t show one. Probably because he’s still young.” He let her look at the clipboard with the worn out paper attached. She hardly understood the stats that the vet scribbled on there, but what she did notice was the blank next to the name row.

“Hmmm…” She timidly approached the horse even more by entering the stall. Joel moved out to give the two of them space. She examined him like a judge at a tournament. “How about Shimmer? His fur is so shiny.” It was evening, so the only light came from overhead in the stable. “I bet he shimmers in the daylight like the vampires from those comics! I can’t wait to take him out and see!”

“Shimmer?”

“What’s wrong with ‘Shimmer’?”

Joel scratched the back of his neck. “Nothing…I just uhh…didn’t know vampires shimmered.”

“Some think they just burn to ash in daylight, but that’s a myth. They just shimmer. At least that’s how the story goes.”

“Huh, didn’t know that. But, Ellie, that’s a male and names are kind of permanent.”

“No they’re not. If he doesn’t shimmer in the daylight like I thought he would, I’ll need to think of something else, but I think it suits him.”

Joel just gave a curt nod of acceptance. “As long as it suits him and you like it.”

The lesson lasted for a total of two hours. After one more lap around the training ground, Ellie and Joel decided to call it quits just in time for lunch. Their walk back to the daycare was mostly silent, but he made sure to tell her how good she did. 

While Ellie quickly ran off to get some food, Joel stuck around to look for Wendy. He thought it’d be safe to do so today since he convinced you this morning to take the day off. He was eager to get back to you, but had some business to take care of first. 

“Hey, Wendy, got a moment?” Joel stood at the door of her office and gave a quick knock before she beckoned him inside. She sat her pencil down as he closed the door behind him.

“How was the lesson?” She inquired.

“It went really well. I was hoping to make it a weekly thing.”

“That sounds wonderful, but if it went well, then I’m assuming that is not what you really wanted to talk about.”

“Uh no.” He wiped his hand across his beard before sitting down across from her desk. “How’s (Y/N) been when she comes here?” Wendy looked confused, so Joel elaborated. “Does she ever seem tired or out of it?”

“There were days where she’d seem more unlike herself than others, but she kept carrying on. I suggested she take more breaks or go home early, but she refused. I would have made her leave anyway, but we’d been short staffed lately and of course that happens when we get an influx of kids and she’s so good with them too; obviously you know how much progress Ellie’s made with her.”

“There’s no one else? ‘Cause my wife needs rest. I worry about her.”

“I worry about her too,” She noticed Joel’s glare didn’t falter. “Nowhere near as much as you, but close. And I know she’ll need time after she gives birth of course. Joel, I work on staffing all day. Either no one wants to do it or the ones who have the time aren’t qualified. I know I’m not in the place to be picky, but you should see the people who volunteer. We train and most do their best but, frankly, I don’t trust them alone with the kids and I don’t have time to supervise all the time when I’m needed elsewhere. I give them other work like maintenance, but I still need someone like…I need about 3 clones of (Y/N) quite honestly. At this point, I’m bribing the older kids with more snack rations to help me out with the younger ones.”

Joel chewed on the inside of his cheek as he contemplated. “I can take Ellie more.”

“Ellie’s been the least of my worries lately. For her age, she’s very independent and well behaved despite what she’s gone through. I give full credit to you and (Y/N) on that. And listen, every little bit helps, so I think everyone would benefit from you spending more time with her outside the daycare. As a matter of fact, have you thought about possibly fostering her? The three of you already have such a strong bond, but you can start with something temporary to gauge how everyone feels; baby steps.”

“What do you suggest?”

“Very similar to how foster care was before. She’ll move in, you and (Y/N) will receive the rations that I do to take care of her. Then, keep doing what you’re already doing with her.”

“We’re about to have a baby. I don’t think now is exactly the best time.”

“When are things in life ever good timing? But like I said, baby steps. Maybe have her just spend the weekends. She can help keep (Y/N) company when you’re away.”

“I’ll talk to (Y/N) about it when I get back. Even if all of that works, that’s just one kid. That barely alleviates our issue.”

“I understand that. Please trust that I am working on this expeditiously.”

“Well,” He sighed. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help with that.” Joel got up to leave, but turned back around before his hand reached the door knob. “My wife still needs help, Wendy. Help I don’t think I can give her.” His famous Joel glare disappeared and was replaced with a look of vulnerability. “Could you maybe…talk to her? From mom to mom? She has a lot of anxiety about the birth and afterwards. She told me…um…she said that she doesn’t feel connected to the baby.”

“I could talk to her, but I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to if she stays home and I’m almost always here. This is a serious matter, however. I believe with some extra attention and care, she’ll overcome this.” Wendy reached into her desk drawer for a scrap piece of paper. “Here, I’m going to write you down the address of someone who I think can better help (Y/N) than me. Her name is Theresa. She joined Jackson just earlier this year. I heard that a scouting group found her wandering with a newborn baby wrapped around her with a sling. They took her back here. I spent some time with her to see if she needed help caring for her child. She refused which was completely understandable; trusting strangers in this world with your most prized possession. I try to check in on her every so often so we won’t just stay strangers, but admittedly, it's been a while.”

Joel took the slip of paper. “I’ve never heard of her.”

“She keeps to herself. Just her and her baby in a small house on the other side of the settlement. She’s definitely been traumatized in some sort of way, but maybe her experiences were similar to (Y/N)’s.” Wendy noticed his hesitancy. “It’s worth trying at least. Maybe they can both find a friend in each other.”

“Thanks and uh, if you could keep this conversation between us? At least for right now. I don’t want (Y/N) thinkin’ I’m goin’ over her head or somethin’.” Joel asked to which Wendy nodded sympathetically.

Joel’s next mission was to find out more about Theresa. If he’d never heard of her, Tommy definitely would have. He made his way over to the stables after calling his brother on the walkie. He wanted to catch him before he went out on his route. During the walk, he wondered how this went under his radar; he thought he knew all of the citizens. 

“Does the prodigal brother return for more marital advice?” Tommy asked, barely turning his head in Joel’s direction as he continued to prep his horse.

“Not exactly.”

“What’s got you in a tizzy then?”

“Who is Theresa,” Joel looked back down at the slip. “Porter?”

“What happened? Did she do something?”

“So you know her?”

“Yeah.” Tommy shrugged nonchalantly.

“Who is she, Tommy? What’s her backstory? How did she get here?”

“She’s a woman that Dean found ‘bout a year back while his group was out looking for new checkpoints. She seemed distraught and in need, especially with an infant. Joel, that baby had to have only been a month old if that. They examined her and found her to be of no threat; there was no set up, no nothing. Maria was notified and she gave them clearance to bring her back. She personally escorted Theresa to the infirmary to check on her and the baby. She also set them up in a house on Pine avenue because it’s kind of secluded. She figured, at least, as a trial home just in case she did pose a danger later on. It worked out for her because she seemed introverted anyway. Like I said, that was a year ago and we haven’t had any trouble from her at all. She contributes to the community garden and such, so she does her part. Maria is the one who checks up on her.”

“Where’s Maria?”

“Busy.” Out of habit, Joel’s glare reappeared on his face, but out of everybody it had the least effect on Tommy. “Maria wouldn’t be able to tell you more than I just did, so there’s no sense in botherin’ her ‘bout it. Now, what’re you askin’ ‘bout Theresa for?”

“I took your advice about me and (Y/N),” Joel began. Tommy finally looked at him eagerly.

“And?”

“We made progress. We did something together and we talked. It really helped.”

“‘Thank you, Tommy’.” The younger brother impersonated Joel with a slightly stronger drawl and deeper voice. He flashed the famous glare, to which Tommy laughed.

“Despite that, (Y/N) needs help. I’ve supported her as much as I know how.” Joel began helping Tommy prep the horse as he talked. “I just got back from the daycare. I asked Wendy if she could talk to her, like girl talk, but she suggested Theresa would be better.”

“Oh, I see.”

“I didn’t know anything ‘bout this Theresa. Why is that, Tommy?”

“Don’t get your cowboy briefs in a bunch. It’s not like I intentionally hid her existence from you. It just didn’t seem like a big deal. You had just gone on your honeymoon and were away from the settlement when that happened. She wasn’t a danger, so it slipped my mind after you got back.”

“Is there anyone else I don’t know about here in Jackson?”

Tommy shrugged. “Probably a few. Listen, they’ve all either been vetted by me or Maria. You don’t need to worry yourself over every single thing that happens here. You’re about to be a dad again, you help out with Ellie a lot, and frankly, you’re an ol’ fogey; You need to start taking it easy.” Tommy tried to keep a serious face but couldn’t help the snickering. Joel scooped up a bunch of hay on the pitchfork and tossed it at him. “Hey!” 

Just like they did when they were kids, the Miller brothers playfully roughhoused in the stable. It only lasted for a few solid minutes as their worn bodies couldn’t handle it like they used to. When the straw settled on the floor, Tommy finished mounting his horse and Joel took off to his next destination. 

“Hello?” A woman peaked her head through the crack of the front door.

“Are you Theresa Porter?” The deep, southern voice questioned.

“Who’s asking?”

“I’m Joel Miller and—”

Theresa straightened up and opened the door a bit wider. “You’re the other Miller brother, huh? I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I wish I could say the same. But that’s why I’m here. Is now a good time to talk?” Joel glanced over her head and into the dark house. It was daytime, so it wasn’t weird to have all the lights off, but it still seemed unusually dark.

“Um sure, but what’s this about?”

“You’re not in trouble or anything. I just have a big favor; something you may be able to help me with. May I?” Joel gestured to go inside. She reluctantly let him in.

When he entered, she only turned on one lamp. “Sorry about the mess. Sometimes I just don’t get the time between work and the baby.” Joel grunted and nodded before sitting on her couch. He peered around, trying his best to be inconspicuous. One thing he noticed immediately was the lack of noise. It was dead silent in the house, though figured the child was asleep. 

“Can I get you something to drink? I got…tap water.” Theresa offered.

“No, thank you.” Joel liked how hospitable she was. It was a nurturing trait that, as a mom, may help you come into your own.

Theresa came back around and sat across from Joel. “What did you want to talk about again?”

“My wife actually. I heard that you had a baby and my wife is about to delivery our first—”

“Congratulations!” Her demeanor pepped up; another thing Joel liked.

He cleared his throat before continuing. “Thank you. She’s been feeling lonely and just down lately and I think she could use a new friend; someone who can relate to her. How old is your son or daughter?”

“Daughter. She is 11 months old.” She stated proudly.

“Is this your first too?”

“Yeah, she’s my first. My Saoirse.”

“That’s a pretty soundin’ name.”

“Thank you. Her father named her; He’s Irish.”

“Where is he now? If you don’t mind me askin’?”

“We got separated a long time ago. I think about him everyday and hope to see him again. I hope that he gets to see his daughter again, but I had to put her first. I wanted to keep searching for him, but then your crew found me. I was grateful enough for some supplies, then I would’ve been on my way, but they offered to take me in. Jackson has been so inviting and you all are some of the kindest people I’ve met.”

Joel grunted and nodded in response. “I’m sorry to hear that.” He took a heavy pause while thinking about what he’d do if he ever got separated from Sarah. He counted himself as blessed that her face never showed up on the missing people’s segment of the news. “I hope you all find each other soon.”

“I hope so too. I wanted to wait until she got a bit older before we went out to find him, but things aren’t going by plan.” She looked away somberly.

“This winter is lookin’ to be on the harsh side. Bet you’re itchin’ to get out there, but best to wait til the frost is over.”

She looked back up at Joel. “Yeah. I just hope he’s found a place as good as Jackson to take shelter. We originally had plans to go southward, so maybe he’s in a warmer place.” She smiled to herself. “I’m in good spirits about it. I have to for our little one. We’ll be a family again soon.”

“We can help you when the time comes.”

Her eyes lit up. “I’d appreciate that. Now, your wife…”

“(Y/N) Miller.”

“(Y/N). How far along is she exactly?”

“28 weeks.”

“Ah yes, she’s getting close. I could give her some of Saoirse’s hand-me-downs. Some I knitted myself!”

“That sounds very nice. I’m sure she’d like that. If I can get my hands on some knitting supplies, would you maybe teach her how to? She’s restless and wants to keep busy, but some of the activities she does, I feel, are not good for our baby.”

“Oh, we don’t want that.” Joel nodded in agreement. “I would be happy to show her! We can talk and knit a blanket together!”

“That sounds good. If it helps, you can bring Saoirse ‘round too if you don’t have anyone to look after her. Your house is a bit far from ours and I don’t feel comfortable with her walking that far especially with it gettin’ slick out now.”

Theresa shifted in her seat. “Of course, that makes total sense. I can do house visits.” She chuckled. “She just got over a minor cold so…”

“Oh.”

“But I just found a solid babysitter, so it won’t be too much of a problem.”

Joel nodded and offered up a small grin. “It’s gettin’ late and I don’t wanna hold you. We can talk more when you come by; Maybe we can all have dinner soon. Do you mind?” Joel gestured to a paper and marker on her coffee table. Theresa shook her head. “This is the frequency channel we are on. Feel free to use the ham radio at the stable if you don’t have one to give us a heads up when you’re ready.”

“Thank you, Joel. It does get lonely as a single mom, so I think this will be a nice change of pace.”

He nodded with another small grin before tipping his imaginary hat. “Have a good night.”

[sanddusted-wisteria]

A Builder, a Researcher, and a Rooftop, Ch. 9: Vega and Altair

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The builder’s eyes trailed across the sky, trying to keep up with Qi’s arm and words as he pointed out and explained some of the brighter stars in the sky that night.

“...And that is Deneb,” Qi said, pointing at Cygnus’s bright head. “It’s a supergiant right about in the middle of its lifespan.”

The builder frowned. “Lifespan? Massive balls of gas have lives?”

Qi shrugged. “You and I have the same question. They are inanimate, and therefore not living. I believe we use terms like ‘life’ and ‘death’ as an analogous description of how stars progress from start to finish. There isn’t really a better set of terms.”

“What’ll happen when it ‘dies,’ then?”

“Well, for a star as big as Deneb, it will eventually start fusing heavier and heavier elements as its fuel runs out. Eventually, its core might become so massive that the energy it produces can no longer counter its own gravity. So it violently collapses and implodes, which then causes a massive explosion.”

“Ohhh, so that’s a supernova.”

Qi nodded. “Precisely! And after all of that, with enough stellar mass, what remains is the imploded matter, compressed into such a small space that it becomes the densest thing in the universe, and therefore has the most gravity in the universe. So much that not even light can escape it. So much that it even warps time.”

“A black hole,” they muttered together.

“Black holes are pretty crazy,” the builder said. “And kinda scary. Imagine getting sucked into one of those.” They shuddered.

“Indeed. I imagine having your body completely crushed from all directions while time stretches out infinitely is rather unpleasant.”

“They can’t…move, right? They can’t travel anywhere?”

“Motion is relative. Could they move in relation to what?”

“Earth. A black hole isn’t gonna pose a threat to us, is it?”

Qi shook his head. “Impossible. The closest one is thought to be around 1560 light years away. Even if it was heading in a straight line directly towards us, which is incredibly unlikely, it would take a very, very long time to get here.”

“Hm. Thought so. When I was in 4th grade, a kid in my class tried to scare us by saying that a black hole was coming to suck up the Earth in a hundred years or something.”

“That child was a simpleton,” Qi said flatly, causing the builder to burst out laughing. “I hope they grew up to be an adult with more sense.”

“Well, last I heard, he didn’t become a scientist, so at least there’s that.”

“I wouldn’t assume so. …You didn’t believe him, did you?”

“Well…” the builder let out a nervous chuckle. “I did, but only for like 30 seconds.”

“At least you realized the mistake. I could at least expect that much of you.”

“And I didn’t grow up to be a scientist either. Take that as you will.”

“Even so… Are you sure you’ve never had any serious experience with astronomy? You at least seem to have an aptitude for the high-level, conceptual aspects of the field.”

“Nope. I’ve done a little stargazing here and there. I know some of the big constellations and stars and stuff. Oh, and I had an old friend back in high school who was super into astrology and would give me full birth charts and readings and everything.” Qi’s lip curled in disgust. “But uh…that’s not astronomy, is it?”

“If you even dare utter that word again in my presence…” Qi muttered with a steely glare. “…I will never speak to you again.”

The builder laughed again, waving a hand. “Okay, okay.”

“Even those myths from the days before the formal development of science are better than whatever metaphorical snake-oil that pitiful excuse of a ‘discipline’ shills.”

“Well, at least I know one or two of those… If I tell you one, would you forgive me about the whole astrology thing?” they said with a cheeky grin and a tilt of the head.

“Ugh, yes please. Anything to distract myself from that.”

“Oh.” They were just joking. “Okay, well uh, since we’re talking about Cygnus, this one’s a little bit about Cygnus. Mostly about Vega and Altair, though. Let me see…” they hummed, trying to dredge the story out of their memory. The scowl on Qi’s face eased into his usual flat expression, but with a faint light of curiosity in his eyes.

The builder took a deep breath and began.

------------

The Weaver and the Cowherd

Once upon a time, long, long ago, the King and Queen of Heaven had 7 beautiful daughters. The youngest was a talented weaver, spinning silky, wispy threads to make her family’s royal garb and all the clouds in the sky.

One night, the royal sisters descended to their favorite spring on Earth to bathe and relax. They shed their soft gowns and splashed gleefully in the pure waters.

Just then, a simple cowherd from the nearby village happened by, traveling home late from the big city after trading his wares. He heard the bubbly laughter coming from the direction of the spring. Who could be there so late? Carefully, he crept towards the spring under the cover of the brush, and laid eyes upon the most beautiful maidens he’d ever seen. They had to be divine beings. In particular, he was drawn to the youngest, watching two of her other sisters try to soak each other with amusement. She giggled at the sight, and as soon as the cowherd heard the tinkly sound, he knew he was in love.

How could he get her attention? There was no way he could just walk out like this. Then he noticed the maidens’ gowns left off to the side. If he took them, they would have to come find them and run into him, too. So he sneakily gathered all the gowns and made off a short distance away into the trees to wait.

Soon enough, the maidens soon noticed the missing gowns. Knowing they couldn’t possibly return to Heaven like this, the youngest offered to look for them. She searched carefully through the woods, and eventually stumbled upon the cowherd sitting next to the pile of gowns, startling him. Averting his eyes, he sheepishly explained why he wanted to steal their clothes, and offered to give them back right away. Even though she was stark naked in front of someone she had just met, she couldn’t help but feel drawn to his shy smile and innocently kind heart. And so the weaver fell in love with the cowherd.

Returning to her sisters, gowns in hand, the weaver explained what had just happened, and that she was going to stay on Earth to wed and live with her new beloved. Her sisters grew worried. What would their parents think? Did she even know how to live on Earth? Who even was this man? But the weaver was adamant, and waved her sisters goodbye as they reluctantly ascended back to the heavens.

And so the weaver and the cowherd lived their new lives together. He continued raising his cattle, while she started mending and selling clothes for the village. They bore two healthy and virtuous sons, whom they loved dearly. For a time, they were as happy as can be.

But one day, the Queen of Heaven noticed her missing daughter. Upon questioning her other daughters, she found out about her predicament. She was most displeased with the secret marriage, and to a mortal, no less. One night, she appeared before the weaver and demanded that she return to Heaven. This was less an order from her mother, and more an order from the Queen.

Helpless, the weaver had no choice but to leave her family behind. She gave her sleeping husband and children one last kiss, and left for the Heavens with misty eyes, never to return.

Upon waking up, the cowherd and his children were devastated at the weaver’s sudden disappearance. They wept, not knowing what they could do to find her. It was then, to their collective shock, that the cowherd’s finest ox began speaking to them. It told them about what had happened last night. There was hope, however. The ox told the cowherd and sons how to make a special boat, one that could sail to the highest Heavens.

When they had finished the boat, the cowherd and his sons set sail right away. Up and up they went, above the trees, the houses, and even the tallest mountains. Soon, they could see the Heavenly Palace, where the weaver sat on her balcony, glumly weaving clouds while keeping watch on the village from high above. The cowherd and their sons cried out to her, overjoyed to see her safe. She heard them, and called back to them with delight. They were so close. Soon they could reunite as a family…

But the commotion caught the ear of the Queen of Heaven. Furious, she took the hairpin out of her hair and used it to slice a massive gash across the sky. Out of the gash came floods of silvery starlight, forming a turbulent, impassable river between the lovers. Forever separated.

The weaver begged her mother to relent. Every day, she pleaded on her knees, wailing, tears spilling from her eyes. The Queen was adamant. But eventually, she gave in. Once every year, she decreed, the cowherd and the weaver could meet.

And she held true to her promise. On the seventh day of the seventh month, as the weaver, the cowherd, and their children waited anxiously on the shores of the silver river of stars, a flock of magpies flew down and gathered right above the starlight, forming a bridge. Carefully, they all stepped on, surprised to see the magpies able to support them. Then they ran into each other’s arms, finally reunited, even for a short while.

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“Vega’s the weaver,” the builder said, pointing to the bright star above the Milky Way. “Altair and those other two stars next to it are the cowherd and their sons.” They pointed to the bright cluster of stars underneath the Milky Way. “And Cygnus is the magpie bridge crossing the river of the Milky Way.” They traced their finger along Cygnus’s cross shape.

Qi’s eyes followed their hand, bright with interest. “I see…”

They dropped their arm. “So, what do you think? Distracted enough?”

“Huh? Oh, right. That. Well, I suppose that’s a solid ‘yes,’ then.”

“Damn, looks like I’m just that good,” they chuckled.

“Indeed. I am obviously not an expert in literature, but you tell stories in an engaging way. Better than some of the books I have in my library, even.”

Their brow raised. Once again, they were joking, but the genuine praise threw them off guard. “High praise, honestly, coming from you. I’ve seen how many books you have.”

“Usually I avoid stories like these. Non-scientific accounts of things perfectly explainable by science. Although…I suppose they can still be enjoyed with a skilled storyteller and some suspension of disbelief.”

The builder felt a smidge lighter at his words, and a smile tugged at the corner of their lips. “If you’re ever in the mood for another, I know a couple more. Just say the word.”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” Qi hummed.

Silence fell, and they both looked out towards the sky again.

“...Perhaps engaging with something non-scientific every once in a while isn’t as bad as I’d thought…” Qi muttered under his breath.

The builder said nothing, but the smile on their face grew.

Far above their heads, Vega and Altair and Cygnus shone bright, twinkling against the great cosmic river and the vast, inky-black sky.

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A/N: The Weaver and the Cowherd is an actual ancient Chinese myth (Japan and Korea also have their versions of the same story). In fact, the Chinese names for Vega and Altair are literally "Weaver Girl Star" (织女星, Zhī Nǚ Xīng) and "Cowherd Star" (牛郎星, Niú Láng Xīng) respectively. So it's fitting that the first two spacecraft in the My Time verse we've been introduced to are the Vega 5 and Altair One.

The original story had the weaver's parents be the Jade Emperor and the Queen Mother of the West, but I decided to change their names for this telling, since they're figures from Chinese folk religion. Given the game's setting, I think it's unlikely that they would be passed down through the scattered populace of the Age of Darkness in exactly the same form, especially with the establishment of new religions like the Church of the Light. Just some interesting lil tidbits.

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[amynchan]

God I wish, I wish, but the way I see the free schedule happening is one of two ways:

We get more teachers on more shifts, so teaching becomes a 24 hour profession OR teaching ends up with a day shift, where we get the morning kids; the afternoon shift, where we get the late risers; and the night shift, where we teach the insomniacs. Obviously, you'd need teachers who have the same natural sleeping rhythms to teach these classes, but that can kinda be done. In the college sphere, we have morning, afternoon, and evening classes, but you'd run into the same problem we get over here. The classes themselves would most likely have the same workload as the classes that are taught during the current time frame, but the main trouble is that we wouldn't ever be sure if those teachers have full classes that will pay them out until basically a few days beforehand. Classes get cancelled due to low enrollment all the time, so these teachers would be lesson planning and building classes that may not be used (which, yeah, that's a reality. It's happened to me a couple times now. Not enough students enroll in a class, and it gets cut, and the teachers don't get paid for the work we do before class even starts). We also have students who don't pay attention and sign up for the 8:00AM classes and just... show up as zombies even though they signed up for it. They're not engaged, they're not ready, and it's somehow my job to fix that.

The other one is move instruction to completely online courses so that way we can allow all students to take classes at entirely their own pace. This is the one we're closer to, and it's the one that's easier to see the practical problems of it (so hopefully we can fix the damn things!). Online learning, as we all know from our good ol' friend Covid, puts a great deal of responsibility on the student that—half the time—they weren't aware that the teacher had provided for them all along. A place and time separate from other responsibilities with which to do the work, materials to do the work, steady socialization, near instantaneous feedback and guidance when you get off-task. The classroom itself does a lot. Online learning can give you so much freedom, but as an instructor, I've seen so many students use that freedom to say "fuck all" to education. And I teach college in America. The USA doesn't make you go to college. I'm not sure how it works elsewhere, but that's how it works here. You won't get in trouble for not going or even applying. You should be in college because you've got some kind of goal for it. Therefore, you should only be enrolled in the class in the first place because you want to do something with it and should already have some kind of internal motivation to follow through. But students just don't. Not because of their sleep schedules, but because online learning requires a level of discipline and internal motivation that just isn't expected of them anymore. If a student doesn't wanna do the work, they just won't. And it's relatively fine for a college instructor, who isn't paid by how many students pass the class. Honest. I could fail the entire class and get by relatively okay as long as I'm able to defend my decision and point out the numerous amount of times I reached out to help them.

But high school and below??? They are paid and penalized by how many or how few students pass their course. Again, covid taught us this; if all of those students just choose to sit on their asses, they could get their way at the expense of people's jobs and livelihoods (for the longest time, my dad was the only worker in our house. As a high school instructor, he shoved all six of us—yes, including himself to get his master's degree so he could earn more money to support us!—through higher education by working his ass off. He was a stern teacher, too, so if the students did that to him, they would have fucked over my entire family. It's scary to think of how many other teachers' families are going through that right now because of the shift in cultural attitude about learning and going to school). And to the students, this threat to lives and livelihoods is usually not their concern, because they'll be gone after a year and why should they care? Easy A! Sit on your ass! Accuse the teacher of some shady shit! Works for me!

(Seriously. A student didn't like their grade in my dad's class, went home, ripped out their own stitches, and tried to cry to admin about my dad abusing them. I was in the room when the 'confrontation' happened, and the audacity shook me to my core. And this was years before Covid. This is only one example of some of the shit my dad has been through. The shift in attitude has been going on for years.)

Like, I get the original argument that "everyone in the world has different needs, and the world needs to adjust and accommodate to take care of it." I want that. I want a world where my sister didn't have to feel like an idiot because she's not a morning person and I am. I want a world where my sibling has the time to pursue both passion and education. I want that. However, on this side, I can only see this broken system that punishes us for trying to educate kids who don't see what, exactly, we are trying to offer them and can only see "you fuck with me and I fuck with you and no I don't give a damn about how it'll hurt you as long as I get my way." It's never enough. It's never, ever, ever enough. Even if we try to help them within the parameters we're given, it will never be enough.

Try to hire more teachers to teach in shifts to accommodate for the different and very natural sleeping patterns of students? First, find a teacher who has that same sleeping pattern and then have them on standby, only to cut their job if not enough students sign up for their class and stick to it. Hope that teacher has got a backup plan, buddy. Try to do online courses where students can learn at their own pace? In addition to all the work that goes into making a class that is both engaging and effective (I overworked myself to mental exhaustion for one online course this semester. The students who stuck it out loved it, and while that's worth it, I just hope that all the prep I did this semester will save me next semester when I gotta do it all over again), good luck making sure that the students themselves have the internal motivation to finish AND good luck also trying to be available to them so they can ask questions while also maintaining whatever little sanity you have left. That student who's up at 2AM, as is natural and good for them, may not be able to meet up with the teacher who sleeps from 12AM-5AM every night (if they like to push to the brink of their sanity).

I teach English, but I teach more than that, too. We all do. Time management, respect for others, critical thinking, problem solving and troubleshooting, and more. And I'm a college instructor. I have freedoms that not many others in the industry have. I can create my lessons liberally, I can choose OERs to use so I don't have to force my students to buy anything, I can create content that they don't have to shell extra money out for. As long as I follow the standards and guidelines, I can alter what I need when I need to for the betterment of my students. I feel so bad for the rest of my family, all of whom teach high school and are trapped within the same bureaucracy that everyone bitches about, but they, as teachers themselves, can't do anything without getting hit with a huge hammer for it by admin, by students, or by parents (and that is a WHOLE other thing). The shifts don't work entirely, and the online classes don't work entirely either (yet, yet, hopefully yet!).

If the sleeping schedule was literally the only thing, those options might be viable. Because then we'd probably have students consistently signing up for time slots so we could make them more consistently available, and we'd have students consistently doing the work without the sleeping schedule as a natural impediment because they'd be motivated to get it done. But as much of a good student, or even mediocre student who just showed up and didn't make too many waves, as you were, these are currently luxuries that we can't afford because we're trying to get everyone on the same page teaching-wise.

There's the sleeping schedule thing, yes. There are possible fixes for it, yes. However, as much as a lot of people want this, there's always going to be some bureaucracy and some people who just say "what if I hit the big red destruct button?" that it fucks it up for everyone else.

And, yeah, I'm mad about it.

In the future the way we treat different sleep schedules is going to be thought of as just as weird and barbaric as beating kids for being left-handed. People will read about how we thought certain circadian rhythms were bad and made people take melatonin and use special lights to make their circadian rhythms different, and they will think, "So sad and ignorant...everybody is just afraid of difference."

[theprayerfulword]

October 24

Psalm 143:6 I spread out my hands to You; I thirst for You like a parched land.

Jeremiah 10:24 Correct me, LORD, but only with justice — not in Your anger, lest You reduce me to nothing.

Proverbs 6:16-19 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Deuteronomy 4:29 But if from thence thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find Him, if thou seek Him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.

Proverbs 8:17 I love them that love Me; and those that seek Me early shall find Me.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

When you are worn out with groaning and find no rest in your heart, having sorrow added to your pain, may you not seek out great things for yourself while the Lord overthrows what He has built and uproots what He has planted, bringing disaster on all people, but be content that the Lord preserves your life wherever you go. Jeremiah 45

May you not fear or be dismayed, for as you continue to serve the Lord, seeking His will, obeying His Word, the Lord will surely save you and you will again have peace and security, and no one will make you afraid for God is with you; He will discipline you with justice, training you for His work, cleansing you for His purpose, but will not completely destroy you as He will those who reject Him totally. Jeremiah 46

May you turn to the Lord now, with sorrow and repentance, distancing yourself from the choices of the culture and desires of the society, lifting up the weak and supporting the helpless, for the promises of God are sure and His judgments are righteous – He protects those who draw near Him and cuts off those who reject Him. Jeremiah 47

May you flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace along with all who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2

May you have nothing to do with foolish and stupid arguments because they only produce quarrels, but instead, you must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful, gently instructing those who oppose you, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they will come to their senses, escaping from the trap of the devil who has taken them captive to do his will. 2 Timothy 2

Do not rely on those who rely on false gods, My dear one, or the might of the flesh or the systems of the world. Do you seek the protection of the government of your nation, or depend for your living on the corporations of the world, or even seek for eternal life and justification through the religious institutions of man? You say within your heart that you believe in Me, but what do you dwell on and speak of in times of national uncertainty? Do you worry about the level of your nation's military readiness, or do you give Me thanks for the stronghold I have prepared for your refuge? When the financial outlook for the economy is grim, what steps do you take? Do you see your job as your way through a crisis, counting on a paycheck to give you what you need? Do you check and recheck your bank balance, hoping to find the answer there? Do you watch the market for fast-growing stocks and safe investments? Or do you realize that I have promised to meet your every need as you walk in the way I set before you? Can you trust Me enough to willingly walk away from a job when I confirm to you that I have someplace else for you to minister in? Can you demonstrate your faith through obedient action that I am your Source and, whether I use ravens to bring you food or simply refill the jar of oil and the pot of flour each night, trust that I will take care of you? Can you obediently give when I direct you to meet the needs of others in the midst of your want with confidence in My supply? When the dark night of the soul is upon you, do you seek for encouragement in the words of men and solace in the music of the soul as your first step? Can you name the names of religious speakers and their spouses and the names of their ministries more quickly and readily than you can find the scriptures of comfort in My Word? Do you find yourself turning in your mind to replay words of peace from a man whose life is lived large in this world, or does your heart cling to the remembered witness of a life lived with few worldly pleasures but rich in godly faith and strong with My authority in prayer, bearing the marks in their soul of My continued and abiding presence? Do not simply turn from idols, My child, but turn even from those who rely on them. Do not seek the strength, the assurance, the comfort they offer, for it will fail. Be, instead, the one who knows the Light of God and walks in My path of righteousness and obedience, pointing others to the gracious acceptance of My compassion for all who humble themselves in repentance before Me.

May you have nothing to do with the people who have a form of godliness but deny the power of God, loving themselves rather than the Lord, always studying but never acknowledging the truth, opposing those who walk in the truth, persecuting all who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus, for the Lord will rescue you from them all. 2 Timothy 3

May you continue in what you have learned, because you know those from whom you learned it, and you have known the Scriptures which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus, for all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that you may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3

May you know the blessing of being taught from the law of God and receiving the discipline of the Lord, for He will grant you relief from days of trouble till a pit is dug for the wicked, for the Lord will not reject His people and will never forsake His inheritance, and judgment will again be founded on righteousness and all the upright in heart will follow it. Psalm 94

When anxiety rises up greatly in you, may God's consolation bring joy to your soul, for when you find your foot is starting to slip, the Lord's love will support you. Psalm 94

May you take refuge in God your rock and let the Lord become your fortress, for when corrupt authorities which bring misery by their decrees band together against the righteous and condemn the innocent to death, the Lord our God will repay them for their sins and destroy them for their wickedness. Psalm 94

[greengrungeemo]

AAAA!! I never cared for, nor ever will care for watching sports. I love riding my bike, swimming is great, running marathons is really awesome, and tennis is pretty cool - but actually watching sports? Not my cup of tea.

BUT,

I have always been analytical, methodical, and intuitive, so with my extra $300 sitting in my bank, I grew it to this amount for the month of February through sports betting. I made almost $7300 in 7 days!!

Like all investments, especially gambling, there's risk, big risk. However, through enough discipline and coordination, you can set your wins at a maximum efficiency and can minimize the losses as much as you can. Obviously, Sunday, I didn't do so great, but a 6/7 (81.75%) success rate is pretty substantial. Best part of it all is, where I live, all sports betting is tax-free all throughout my country!

So how to achieve this? Isn't betting just luck-based? Yes and no.

I would say it's 75% statistics-based, and maybe 25% luck-based. This means, you can navigate with a solid confidence level if you don't let it get to your head - and if you resist the biggest factor of all, greed.

So what sports? What should we aim for? I do all my betting with hockey. Again, I don't care for hockey, but growing up trying to appease my dad to get his approval, I'd spend time with him doing his favorite pass-time, watching hockey on TV. It was boring, but I managed to get a good intuition with regards to the base scores of each team. I would highly accurately guess what the total score of both teams would add up to. Generally, the common combined totals for two head-to-head teams' score equals to around 3-5 for the lowest scoring teams in the league, 5-7 for middle-ground scoring teams in the league, and 7-8 for the higher end ones, but even that's more rare than not.

Odds - and what I like to do with them.

Most betting sites like to draw you in towards the more lucrative choice bets, meaning highest risk for highest rewards (example, -110 odds), at -110 odds, if I bet $100, I'd get $190.91 payout, therefore, $90.91 profit and my money back. You generally want to *avoid this*. Most betting prediction sites enjoy predicting these high risk choices. That's not the way I play. I like aiming for -250 to -800 odds. This means, I play to guarantee win, not play to win big. It's better to win less and guarantee your money back, than to risk more and lose, because then, you'll need to win that lost money back.

With my -250 odds, going back to the $100 bet, it'd mean I'd only get $140 back, which means $40 profit, but it adds that level of safety net to ensure we can continue on safely and steadily. For -800 odds, it's almost a guarantee win, but for a $100 bet, you'd get $112.50 back, and only a $12.50 profit. So for those, I tend to add a bit more in but you need to be careful and disciplined with it.

What my picks are

In sports betting, there's 3 common choices thrown in your face, puck line, total, and moneyline. I don't touch puck line, so let's throw that out. Total is the total score between both teams combined and whether that total will be Under or Over the number you pick, and moneyline is essentially, which team wins the game. I start all my bets with the total, always.

All matches have a baseline odds for their total Over/Under. A common baseline being Over 6.5 or Under 6.5. Hypothetically, for a 50/50 game between teams, both Over 6.5 and Under 6.5 is set at -110 odds. This is what the betting site AND the sport prediction sites online focus on, but I'm telling you to avoid it. Instead, pick your own Over or Under that you're comfortable and feel safe with. You'll get much, much lower odds (which means faaar less payout), but you'll be waaay likelier to win. That's the aim, win 6/7 times a week or more if you can. Guarantee the win.

Next, aim for lower scoring hockey teams in the NHL. The Blackhawks are known to be the team that scores 0-4 goals every time. So why is this important? Well, it's because I prefer choosing my estimated choice of Under much of the time (for example Under 7.5 or Under 8.5), so if the Blackhawks only get 0-4 every game, that helps our cause. Please note, this is not the final factor to win.

How to *gauge* the right pick

Before randomly setting an Under 8.5, you want to 1) Do your own research, and 2) Check the "expert"/general consensus on prediction sites. 3) Compare everything. I do my own research by Googling "*insert hockey team name* past games" and I check their average total the past few games, but most importantly, I check the past games with the team they're up against tonight. How did they do? What's the average goals for those games? Even if the average is say, 7, do not just jump on Under 7.5. You will want a safety net of 1 or even 2 more often than not. So if they average 6, I like picking Under 8.5. Then, check what the "experts" prediction sites say, what are their predictions? Is it far or close to your own average? Are they picking Over 6.5 while you're picking Under 7.5? If their consensus is far or in opposition from your own prediction, maybe steer clear from the match that night, because that means it's too volatile to make the play.

Don't risk it too much, because you're bound to lose at SOME point

Playing responsibly is key. Starting out, I've been burned because of my over-confidence that a "guaranteed" bet (85% probability to win) was bound to win, when it didn't. You must set rules and guidelines for yourself. One quick and fun rule I set is that whenever I reach above $1000 in total winnings, I withdraw all but $300. That way, I allow myself to keep going (allowing the $300 to be sacrificed for more potential gains), while securing the $700. With the 6/7 win/loss in mind, (or say, it was a bad week where I only won 4/7 times), the 4+ wins will ultimately ensure that my $300 will grow into $1000 to withdraw before it fails. Basically, I want to aim it to where, if I DO lose, I want to lose the $300, and not $800-1000. With 4 wins in a row, it'll likely hit the $1000 mark before failure, and that's when we withdraw.

I know it's tempting to want to keep everything in and wager more for even more gains, but if you lose a big chunk, you'll have to earn it all back, and that's lost gains right there, too. It's all about finding the right balance. I found mine and I'm sticking to it.

If you feel like you can't follow your own set of rules or guidelines, that's when gambling has overtaken your mind, and that's when you need to stop for your financial, and more importantly, your mental sake.

I strongly believe this isn't for everyone, and it isn't even for most people, but I wanted to share what works great for me, because being neurodivergent in workplaces tend to NOT give me the job security I want, but this does. (Funny, since it's heavily involves risk).

I expect months where the returns may even go into the negatives, so I also set a rule for when to stop (beginning April), because that's when the Stanley Cup playoffs will be, and teams will be way, way more volatile with their scoring (imo). It's good to take breaks, and it's even better to set a stopping point for yourself. I'm personally stopping at the start of April and picking it up again when the season starts again (Sometime in September? October?)

So yeah! Feel free to ask questions. Just wanted to share, I encourage you to look deep within yourself and find what works for you, because you can do it - you can!!!

UPDATE: I started writing this days ago, but I am still going strong in time of writing this out fully (07/03/2024)!!!

[resmarted]

haven't been on psych meds all week due to liver failure and emergency intervention to reverse the effects of the damage from trying to replace covid meds with tylenol (even those also give you liver damage apparently and my tylenol levels didn't even appear to be that high in the end? tf?)

have already been on the brink of tears a few times, namely when chris didn't pull my show and said he knew my ability to bounce back in time. i can't even talk about it i will start sobbing it's like the most moving thing anyone has said to me in so long.

was also considering going down on these meds already and wanted to taper off to see how i manage. i have been on a steady combo of anxiety and depression meds since i was 22. i was very exhausted from being the funny girl in every setting to the point where every coworker at whole foods would want to know what was wrong the second i stopped smiling or goofing off. the expectation of me and the sad jester complex that came along with it for years got to be too much. i also felt like i had turned it into a full time job making everyone else around me comfortable which somehow evolved into being an emotional dumping ground for everyone to lay their own issues out onto, whether we knew each other or not. i genuinely care for people but there is a fine line between being nonconsensually assigned at random to become someone's free therapist and being this hardened bitch for setting boundaries and not engaging in the people-pleasing techniques of culturally fetishized support group mentality. or something idk how to explain it but i decided at some point it was much safer to just be seen as a bitch than a free vent box for other people who refuse to get on their own meds or proper treatment plans with licensed professionals etc. people tend to see that you have been through a lot and therefore you have all the answers to get them through their stuff, but it took a lot or work and therapy and is an ongoing process. it's actually really insulting and extremely lacking in self-awareness to make your problems everyone else's around you and being the only somewhat healed person in a room makes you a magnet to people who want to feel better too without doing the work. people don't deserve to be victim to your emotional outbursts or of your vampiric tendencies.

that being said, not to be anye-kay but i was a much more prolific writer and a lot of my best art has been created from the depths of hellish experiences and times in my life. suppressing my feelings about the world and not pouring it into my art is not very cash money of me. also tho the best art is made during the winter and the worst time to go off meds is also during this time, generally for the same reasons. also i think it's generally a lame excuse to say you can't make art with or without drugs. it may be easier one way or the other, but it's likely a discipline or skill issue. like maybe you're just a shitty artist and drugs is an easy way to avoid taking that accountability.

the mental health system is so fucked the regular health system is so fucked the living wage is fucked all of our money is being funneled directly into war and genocide and i just feel like numbing myself any further in this moment of revolutionary history is not the way to exist right now.

THAT being said i fucking HATE how people act off their meds, how they unleash their shit onto you with such audacious entitlement, and ultimately this world is designed to make you feel crazy, so if you can control your emotions in an act of survival then why wouldn't you? but also i am an artist, doggg.

i know how i get when i go off them for too long, how unsavory comments become, even when they are people i know disguising themselves as randos, and fortunately i have had enough experience to know how cruel and demented people get in groups on line (or in general) and have learned to genuinely not go looking for it after years or exposure tharapy alone. the second i get the slightest inkling we are not on the same team, you're out. no questions asked. like i could truly give a fuck what your excuse for your behavior you will or won't admit to, i have enough weirdo fucking stalkers online as it is and have for decades now. if you even have one of those people within six degrees or your social circle you're already on thin ice to begin with. i did not spend nearly forty years surviving this insane fucking life to go backwards. i don't attach myself to people with shitty karma, even if it's just by proxy of their friends of friends. if you want to survive cut-throat environments, you have to be willing to be called the bitch and the crazy one and whatever else will be thrown at you for refusing to adhere to a mold of low vibe mediocrity. you have to treat your social circle like an ongoing audition process that is never fully locked into place and be totally fine with whether or not people will get it (they won't, esp as a woman you will get thrown all those demonic labels and then some) it feels weird in the early days but eventually living in truth and integrity becomes second nature, and the revolving door of people who do and do not make it back for the following seasons of both your community environment of choice or your life in its most personal form always speaks for itself.

people play with fire expecting not to get burnt, play stupid games to win stupid prizes, despite how it ends the same each time etc etc etc.

say it with me: slow and steady wins the race. that falls on deaf ears attached to people trying to be the loudest in the room, but people only like fast food for so long and everyone agrees what quality is at the end of the day. you don't just get that overnight through overexertion and speed racing your way into a burnout. not everyone is meant to play this game according to the arbitrary set of rules on a constantly evolving and everchanging landscape.

this post was mostly for me btw. everything i do in this world is generally just for me. another great example of gaining a following by going against all the made up rules to a made up game that we are all just making up as we go along. [fiona apple 1997 vma voice] this world is bullshit just go with yourself

[thebrethrenpost]

4 Levels of Budgeting Every Ballan Should Learn.

Level 1: Learn to Budget Resources

Top of the list is learning survivability. You need to learn how to allocate resources in the most productive way possible. In a world of scarcity, the problem man’s ability to be resourceful rather than the lack of resources. The ability to know what is enough to live and enough to survive. Learning how to budget whether it’s finances or goods (food, water, etc...) allows you to develop discipline, endurance and humility. Not to mention, it build your character, determination and sense of accountability. Therefore, learning to budget resources is the very first thing you should learn because it builds the foundation of who you are.

Level 2: Learn to Budget Time

The second phase of budgeting is productivity. Time is the only equalizer to all human beings so use it to your advantage. In order to use it wisely you need to learn how to prioritize. Good time management involves good prioritization. That represents their intention of their activities and the results they want to produce. Learning how to budget your time gives you leverage to those who are pre-occupied, lost and decadent. It also allows you to have control on your life. There are a lot of ways you can budget your time. The one that always works for me is to plan my week and figure out which tasks I can delegate or even automate. Whatever works in your strategy, do everything in your power to increase productivity. It will allow you to experience unique challenges and live your life to the fullest.

Level 3: Learn to Budget Energy

Like time, energy is also limited. However the focus is to create a sense of fulfillment. Energy is contagious. Your energy whether it is good or bad can immediately felt by others and impacts the world around you. Taking care of your health and well-being, learning new things and building meaningful relationship are good example of spending your energy wisely. It edifies your life and the lives of others. In the contrast, putting yourself in a toxic environment will not only bring you bad energy but also drains a lot from you. So know which activity is worth spending your time and energy with, and always to choose your battles carefully.

Level 4: Learn to Budget Information

Your mind is an important asset you can have. It has capabilities more than you can imagine. However it is also one of the most fragile. The information you consume build that mind for better or worse. It creates bias, thought process, imagination, rationale and mindset. The more information consumed in nonsense will likely fill your mind with nonsense. I’m not saying that you should refrain time in entertainment, but I would try to limit on the noise of the world and focus on things that are important. Pick on topics that are within your field of interest but also keep an open mind for additional new knowledge that will expand your understanding. The mind can only take enough information to satisfy, too much can lead you to overload and mental fatigue. So make sure to consume the right information in keeping yourself informed and knowledgeable but at the same time being mentally well and sane. 

[bella-studyblr]

Task Management:

Creating + Maintaining a Schoolwork Schedule

Key elements

Your schedule suits your individual time/task management preferences.

It is flexible enough to accommodate sudden changes, plus fluctuating energy levels, states of concentration, symptoms and moods.

Daily tasks are not over-whelming; they are small enough that they are achievable.

You do not get “burned out.”

It allows you to be consistent.

Steps to create your schedule

Decide if you want your planner to be paper or digital

Find an “order” that’s logical and achievable for you (more on this later)

Refer to your addendum/syllabus and write down all the assignments, tests and other events taking place that week/month (and their due-dates).

Then break these down, assigning tasks to each day of the week (more on this later).

Break down your tasks even further (more on this later).

Decide if you want to follow a simple daily to-do list or a timed schedule (more on this later).

Find your “order(s)”

Mandatory: Schedule assignments around other commitments (work, social, hobbies, etc.).

Do the hardest task first to get it out of the way (so that the rest of your tasks are less daunting, and because your smaller tasks require less energy therefore can be done even after completing the hard task).

Do the easiest task first to build momentum (give yourself a feeling of accomplishment which will motivate you to continue, and boost your self-confidence early in the day to establish a positive mindset for the rest of the day).

Do the task that’s due first to minimize deadline stress, and so your assignments don’t fall through the cracks (causing you to get discouraged and lose momentum).

Plan according to your energy level throughout the day and week: Do you have Pilates once a week? Maybe you can reserve that day for easier assignments. If you know you’re going to be tired for whatever reason, account for that in your planning.

Consider your state of concentration: If you know you’re too groggy or spaced out for the first hour of your day, you can either schedule easy tasks in that time, or none at all. If you take a medication in the afternoon/evening that makes you tired, schedule easier tasks or none, and get harder tasks done earlier/later in the day. If you have ADHD and crowded places mess with your concentration, but you like studying at a café, go when it’s not busy.

Be mindful of your emotions and symptoms: If you have depression, or are prone to depressive episodes, you’ll need to consider that when scheduling. You might have to rework your entire schedule when you get into a depressive episode (like adding lots of breaks). If suddenly you’re going through a big life event (like a breakup), you need to account for that when scheduling. For instance, if you can’t stand to be alone, maybe you can go out instead of staying in, and if your motivation is low, you may need to up your reward-system or break down your tasks even more.

Break down this week/month’s tasks

Refer to your addendum/syllabus and write down all your due dates for the time period you’re scheduling for.

Based on due dates, outside commitments, predictions of energy/mood/symptoms, assign assignments to the days of the week/month that make most sense for you.

Break down daily tasks into sub-tasks

You can do this (in advance) for your full week/month’s assignments, or do it every morning/evening.

Generally, your assignments will follow a variation of this formula: brainstorm, create an outline, research, write rough draft, edit and revise. Test/exam prep will look something like: check to see what the test is based on, pinpoint important sections, review to see how well you know the material, create a list of items to study, rewrite select notes, make flash cards, study topic 1, study topic 2, etc.

What are the individual components of these steps? Here are some examples. Brainstorm: what should my topic be, what should my thesis be, what points can support my thesis, what do I need to research, what questions do I need to ask my prof? Outline: topic, thesis, points, conclusion. Research: write down all the important parts from each source (separately), then sift through to sort into Supporting Point 1, Supporting Point 2, etc. Rough draft: opening statement(s), intro, point 1, point 2, etc., conclusion, closing statement(s). Edit/revise: read and check for grammar only, then read again and check for spelling only, read again and check for cohesiveness only, etc. Topic 1: Part A, Part B, etc.

Each of these small components can be individual items on your to-do list. Big tasks like, “write essay” are too big for most people. Even “write rough draft” is daunting. If you start with something specific and small like brainstorming, and work your way up, it’s a lot easier to approach. Plus, being able to check off tasks more often and more easily will boost your confidence and your sense of competence, thus building momentum.

Here is a sample to-do list: Research X for Point 1 of Literary Essay, create outline for History Essay, Edit/Revise Assignment 1, study Topic 1 and Topic 2 for Test 1.

To-do list or time-based schedule?

To do list: Write down all your assignments for the day. Put them in the order you want to do them, or go through them intuitively (based on what you feel like doing, or what’s most practical at the time/place you’re at).

Timed-based: Write down all your assignments, then write down the time you’re going to do each of them. You could set reminders or alarms if you want, or simply refer to the list. There’s an awesome app I recommend if this is your thing. It’s called Structured (iOS only).

Curate your study environment for maximum focus

Eliminate distractions such as uncomfortable clothing, sounds (or silence), phone and computer notifications, clutter in the room and on your desk, people who may try to talk to you (shut your door and/or inform them that you’re busy).

Designate a space to doing homework only and avoid spaces that you associate with other things (do not study in bed, as you will want to relax or sleep, and/or you will mess with your sleep by weakening the bed’s association with sleep).

Build associations: Incorporate other events and items into your study/homework routine that you only use while doing that, so that you associate those things with studying/homework (examples: specific playlists, pencils/pens, cups/bottles, scents, rituals, decor, etc.).

Ensure good lighting (preferably including daylight).

Get dressed in clothes that make you feel good about yourself. They don’t have to be “professional” and they should definitely be comfortable. Do not stay in your pyjamas. Believe me, I know this can be hard, and I love PJ’s. But they are not good for productivity.

Don’t “multi-task.” It may feel like you’re getting more done this way, but by splitting your focus, not only do tasks take longer, they also diminish in quality. Commit to the task you’re doing.

Meditate: You can even meditate for just 1-5 mins right before studying, homework and/or classes.

Practice self care (daily!)

Sleep (enough, well, and regularly).

Daylight: Get outside, work by windows, use a light therapy box. These can help regulate your sleep, improve and maintain mental health, and boost energy.

Fresh air: Getting outside even for a couple minutes can help you refresh and reset, and feel good about yourself and your life. Fresh oxygen can help you wake up and is great for your health. Even just opening your window can do a lot for your mood, energy and motivation.

Movement: Try to move at least once per day. The benefits of exercise are numerous and immense.

Healthy and consistent eating: Avoid spikes in insulin levels by eating regularly so you don’t have extreme dips in your energy level. Also, brain power uses calories too, so make sure you’re eating consistently, and try to eat healthy. There are so many other reasons eating consistently is good for your health (and by extension, your productivity).

Relaxation and leisure: Make time for fun and socializing, as well as intentional relaxation. Hobbies, movies/tv, time with friends/family, meditation, baths, progressive muscle relaxation, etc.

Therapy: Your therapy sessions are not daily, but you can do 5 minutes of inner-work per day based on what you and your therapist are currently working on. Working with a therapist is a great way to stay on track with your goals, and develop the skills and positive mindset required for success in school.

Reward yourself

Track progress: Reflect on all the assignments you’ve completed and your grades to remind yourself that you’re capable!

Completing to-do lists daily maintains a sense of accomplishment which keeps your momentum going. Check those items off! Or give yourself gold stars! ⭐️

Treat yourself with non-food rewards: Tie completed school work with fun tasks like video games, or take yourself out for coffee, or some other small (non-food) outing. What I’m trying to do right now is not do my leisure activities until my daily tasks are done.

Develop a positive mindset

Take promises you make to yourself seriously. The more you break promises to yourself, the easier it will get to continue breaking promises. You will lose respect for yourself which lowers motivation, and you will lose trust in yourself which can become debilitating as well. The more you keep promises, the easier it will get, the more motivated you’ll become, and the more you’ll trust and respect yourself. Your confidence will improve, and you’ll feel better about yourself. Productivity is choosing yourself. Discipline is choosing what’s best for you instead of what you feel like doing in the moment. Discipline is a muscle, and like any muscle, it can be strengthened, and it can atrophy.

Remember your “why.” What is the end goal of being in school? What’s your career path, and why did you choose it? What will your life be like when you have that career? What would your life be like if you gave up and didn’t make it to your goal? Aiming for your dream while running from your nightmare is a great strategy for maintaining motivation. Lighting a fire under your *** can be a huge motivator.

Remember how good you feel when you get schoolwork done, and let this motivate you to stay consistent. You can also remember how you feel when you don’t get work done, but definitely focus more on the positive!

Go to therapy and/or hire a coach. There are SO many benefits to therapy and I’d honestly need a whole other post to get into it. You don’t need to be depressed or mentally ill at all in order to benefit from talking to a therapist. They can even help you with time management, procrastination, motivation and more! If you can afford it, please do it. It’s such a worthwhile investment.

Be consistent

No “zero days.” Do at least a bit of homework or studying every day so you don’t slip into vacation mode. Make schoolwork a daily part of your life, so it just becomes the norm.

Build productivity momentum (track progress, check items off your to-do list daily, treat yourself, keep promises to yourself, remember your “why,” remember how success feels).

Stay on top of projects. Your assignments are made up of smaller tasks you assign yourself across time. “Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.” - Robert Collier

Avoid burnout (more on this later).

Keep it interesting (more on this later).

Avoid burnout

Self-care: shower and/or bathe regularly, maintain proper sleep habits, stay hydrated, take care of your skin, do relaxation activities like meditation and reading, do fun activities, pamper yourself every now and then with face masks or foot baths, take your meds as prescribed, eat well and regularly, get outside often, move daily, etc.

Break up study/homework sessions into small, manageable chunks of time, with constructive (refreshing) breaks in between.

Break assignments down into even smaller tasks so that you aren’t over-working yourself during the course of a day, and so that you don’t overwhelm yourself (the stress can lead to burnout).

School-life balance: Keep up with your social life as best as you can, make time for your hobbies, maintain self-care, say no to things that don’t serve you, etc. Try to follow through with scheduled schoolwork 100% of the time, but know that you won’t. Sometimes you’ll need to prioritize mental health over schoolwork (be careful though, this is a very fine line, and a slippery slope). Sometimes things will come up and it’ll be out of your control. But more than anything else, there will be times when you just decide to prioritize something else like fun and socializing over schoolwork. This is why your schedule needs to be flexible: to accommodate sudden invites to hang out and random decisions to skip a homework/study session, but more importantly, flexibility will reduce the odds that you’ll skip in the first place. If your schedule includes hobbies and socializing, and anything else that’s important to you, then you won’t feel deprived. If you have school-life balance, you’ll have more of yourself to devote to schoolwork when it’s time to.

Keep it interesting

Romanticize your life by putting effort into making all of your daily tasks a special occasion.

Make meals and drinks special by using your favourite dinnerware and cutlery. Perhaps even incorporate extra elements such as: a beautiful tablecloth, napkins, candles and/or dim lighting, music, wearing your favourite clothing, etc.

Pretend you’re the main character in a movie about a successful, productive student (because you are the main character in your life).

Make games out of studying if this is something that interests you (the Forest app comes to mind).

Use lots of colours in your notes and buy colourful stationary! 🌈

Vary your approach/methods if needed to avoid boredom.

Study with friends (online or in person).

Reward yourself often.

Remember your “why.”

[crystalsenergy]

how to improve Saturn placements? - evolving our personality #1

the purpose of this text is to bring a possibility to improve negative points in us from other positions [which you may or may not have in your natal chart]. sometimes the potential for improvement is already outlined as a trend inside yourself. other times the potential will need to be created. but as long as you assume that you need to improve, you are already taking the first step.

I'm going to put positions according to this post here about the shadows of our personality, leaving from the assumption that what brings us more suffering may be precisely in these positions cited in the post.

SATURN PLACEMENTS

Saturn in Aries / Saturn in 1st house -> Jupiter in 1st house

in other words, you need to learn to have more self-confidence, a dose of trusting yourself more easily, being less afraid of starting things, getting to know something new, or picking up on something you've already started. you need more willpower, to notice more positive things about yourself. it's also important to note that you may have a tendency to be more closed in admitting your problems. the construction of awareness about your individuality needs to take place. you must be optimistic and less pessimistic about yourself and your potential.

Saturn in Taurus / Saturn in 2nd house -> Venus in 2nd house / Venus in Taurus

Saturn in Taurus or in the 2nd house brings the problem of lack of self-worth, of not being able to feel good enough for some situations. there may be a certain pessimism (not as strong as that of Saturn in the 9th house), but a "certainty" that things won't work out in the area of ​​finance and love. it may be that ppl feel bad about they value to someone, it may be that they have trouble finding satisfaction in things, they may have difficulty feeling loved enough and/or supplied by the things around them. thus, those who have this placement need to notice patterns in themselves of not valuing themselves, not feeling good enough for a specific goal or person. self-worth in the sense of beauty, aesthetics and value seen by others is something to be worked on, primarily from the inside. taking as an example Venus in Taurus, excellent position to notice where you need to improve, it is important that you see your value, know how to relax, enjoy small pleasures in life, learn to invest in yourself, see the value of money and your efforts, and always continue to be persistent.

Saturn in Gemini / Saturn in 3rd house -> Mercury in Gemini / Mars in 3rd house

considering what a native with Saturn in Gemini or in the 3rd house tends to feel, it's important that these people learn to incorporate some points, which necessarily need to include: self-confidence in speech and ability to express themselves without censorship. this can be helped especially by Mercury in Gemini and Mars in the 3rd house (or also Mars in Gemini). It's important that you understand the need to speak what you think, not unthinkingly - which I imagine would be very difficult to happen, knowing this position -, but in a more confident way, even a little impulsive in some situations (emphasizing: some situations). It's important to allow your head to function naturally with regard to your mental processes and thoughts so that you will learn to express yourself without so many internal limitations.

Saturn in Cancer / Saturn in 4th house -> Uranus in 4th house

in other words, you need to develop less emotional dependency. you must be more open about your inner life, and you must learn to develop a healthy dichotomy, not the duality that this placement tends to bring: Saturn in Cancer / in the 4th house brings a tendency to become more emotionally closed, conveying an impression to others that you are very well resolved and live well with almost everything in life. this is a need Saturn gives to people: need for control. but this control may not always be healthy, as it's most often. Saturn tends to create a strong possibility of extreme behaviors, due to the internal fear and rigidity that are generated. the person is constantly closing in, but she/he is extremely vulnerable. however, what must be learned from Uranus in the 4th house is another duality, a little healthier and more advantageous for those who have this position: that of being more open about internal issues, but also not being dependent.

Saturn in Leo / Saturn in 5th house -> Sun in Leo

there is no way for me to talk about improving this Saturn placement without mentioning Sun in Leo. bearing in mind that Saturn in Leo and the 5th house gives a tendency to ppl feel less able to express themselves, less able to show the world their potential, their abilities, or simply appearing, it's important that the opposite is nurtured by the native: it's necessary to understand that yes, you have an individual power, you have potential that can be worked, we all do. you have the capacity to achieve something, to ascend, to lead, if necessary. and it's also necessary to work on the idea of ​​self-esteem and on the construction of a less fragile ego (which exists in a healthy Sun in Leo).

Saturn in Virgo / Saturn in 6th house -> Mars in Virgo, Uranus in 6th house

two things need to be worked on at the same time: discipline and your ability to be less rigid. yes, it's quite dual, almost opposite. but that's what happens with Saturn in Virgo / Saturn in the 6th house, often the natives can't move because of an excessive concern with details, because they think too much about everything, charge themselves even before the task is started, which it brings an air of rigidity and discipline, but it's exactly what keeps them from moving out of place: excess. with regard to the excess rigidity that causes a person to freeze, Uranus in the 6th house can help, given the energy of more unpredictability and independence from patterns and the like. another thing that is also likely to occur with this Saturn placement is procrastination and wasting time on frivolous things, as well as an aura of laziness (which creates tremendous guilt). with regard to this problem, Mars in Virgo (or Mars in the 6th house) can help, as this placement of Mars is pure fuel to be practical, agile, diligent and organized.

Saturn in Libra / Saturn in 7th house -> Venus in Libra, Uranus in 7th house

this position generates in people a dichotomy of being closed to love and emotional situations, but, at the same time, being very dependent on loving relationships, for fear of loss, of being alone. to the point of a person who blocks too much from getting into relationships, Venus in Libra can help by bringing a desire to be with someone in a healthier way, from the idea of ​​sharing something with the other person, of living together and feel good from the company of other. on the other hand, as it's also necessary to take care of the dependency issue, Uranus in the 7th house is very useful, so that the person doesn't have an extreme need for the other to the point of getting lost in the middle of it and not being able to go out anymore. It's important to be open to love, but always understanding that a little independence, valuing the individuality of the other, can also be good.

Saturn in Scorpio / Saturn in 8th house -> Mars in Scorpio, Uranus in 8th house

these Saturn placements bring a great fear of change, an aversion to being psychologically open. here, there is a person who seems impenetrable because he/she hides his/her fears, traumas and problems. these people don't like to break taboos. for being somewhat conservative and closed minded to everything that the sign and the house placed means, it's very important that they know the need to be more open to different circumstances of life. it's important to understand that it's part of life: being intimate with others, knowing deeper and even 'dark' sides of yourself, understanding sex as something natural (Mars in Scorpio will help with these things); besides it's also important to understand that it's part of life to have psychological transformations, a greater openness to taboos and to understand human complexity (Uranus in the 8th house will help with this). thus, you'll be able to reach another level in your life.

Saturn in Sagittarius / Saturn in 9th house -> Uranus in 9th house

one of the marks of Saturn in Sagittarius is the issue of redemption to some philosophy or ready-made idea that aims to explain life. here, the native has a great fear of being impacted by the depth of knowledge - depth that marks the uncertainty of life and its ephemerality -, and therefore, the tendency of this native is to hide behind a philosophy or 'certainty' that supports and gives comfort. therefore, people tend to close themselves off and live in a tremendous comfort zone, or rather a bubble, in which only what they have decided to accept as the general premise of their life makes sense. it can also generate a lot of pessimism, a more closed and even prejudiced view of other people. thus, it's more than necessary to understand that life is much more than what you heard in some corner when you were child and that you share within yourself today, there are several truths, but none of them is absolute. and that's the grace of life, knowing more and more, and understanding the value of diversity and the impossibility of being sure of something all the time. open up to other philosophies of life, religion, get out of your comfort zone, question things and your limiting beliefs more. don't cover yourself so much in relation to higher education and have more autonomy when knowing a deeper subject, don't depend on someone for that. all of this can be learned through Uranus in the 9th house.

Saturn in Capricorn / Saturn in 10th house -> Mars in Capricorn

this position of Saturn is one of the least painful that Saturn can bring, however, on the other hand, it can increase in the dose of rigidity and vision totally focused on what is concrete, objective, earthly, forgetting other sides of life. and despite not being one of the worst positions to have on Saturn, it brings many difficulties with regard to career and achieving goals. either because the person feels incapable, having some internal blockage, a mistaken idea of ​​her/himself, of her/his potential, or because during her life the person ends up encountering many barriers to finally ascend professionally. in this situation, it's extremely necessary for the native to use all the energy she/he has in order to put the will and potential out. this is made possible more powerfully by what represents Mars in Capricorn, a placement of great ambition, but which represents the capacity that may be lacking in these placements of Saturn.

Saturn in Aquarius / Saturn in 11th house -> Venus in Aquarius, Uranus in 11th house

one of the things that these positions bring most difficulty to a person is the tendency for them to exclude themselves from others, either for fear of group acceptance, or for not feeling good about being with other people, preferring solitude. this positioning brings a behavior of being more independent, having few friends and being more closed to others. you may also be more closed-minded to try original, new, and surprising things, even if you have the creativity to do so. another problem to be faced is a strong tendency not to trust people. Venus in Aquarius and Uranus in the 11th house help with this because the first placement is more focused on living in a group, making friends, representing a more sociable person, and the second doesn't fail to cultivate people's independence, but still remains open to friendships.

Saturn in Pisces / Saturn in 12th house -> Sun in Pisces, Moon in Pisces

this is a dense, complicated position, which gives people a feeling that they must be completely rigid and closed to their inner life, their inner space, but the more people try to escape, the more they are led to face this side of their personality. this position represents problems with mental health, issues of closing oneself to deeper contacts with people, difficulty with empathy, altruism. the person can be made to think more often about life, and have existential crises. Moon in Pisces and Sun in Pisces can help with these strong sensations as the placements bring greater openness to introspection, which makes the person less tempted to close off from the inner reflections - which will arise!! -, making the person too able to be more selfless and to show her/his compassion and empathy for others more openly.

[ssaltbending]

Ok, guys, hear me out: Zuko is a Capricorn, Katara is a Cancer —and here’s why (it would be so poetic).

Part 1: Zuko

TW: explicit mentions of child abuse.

I know this statement might seem weird and out of place, but in the last couple weeks I’ve been digging a lot into astrology and, in order not to forget my roots, I thoroughly felt the need to combine both of my most recent obsessions in one post, given that this headcanon hasn’t been able to leave my mind ever since I came up with it: if we applied astrology to the Avatar world, I’m sure Cancer and Capricorn would be Katara and Zuko’s signs, respectively. And I don’t say this in a superficial way, just by looking at zodiac memes and associating Katara with the crybabies Cancers are portrayed as or saying Zuko is a Capricorn buzzkill as people who know astrology on a surface level would assume they are —those are some of the most common stereotypes about the signs. No, I’m saying that they embody those signs on an archetypal leve: in the way their stories, especially Zuko’s, resemble the myths that originate the zodiac signs and their respective traits.

Therefore, without further ado, let me explain.

The Capricorn archetype: the sins of the father...

As any casual astrology enthusiast may probably know, the sign of Capricorn is connected to qualities such as perseverance, integrity, resilience and ambition, typically treated as the CEO or boss of the zodiac. However, the sign itself has a richer and much more complex story as we look at the deities it is associated with as well as the planet that rules it: Saturn, linked to the Roman god of the same name and the greek gods Cronus, Zeus, Hestia and Pan. Some astrologers choose Cronus as Capricorn’s patron god and others prefer his children, but that can be explained very easily.

The myth goes like this: Cronus, a giant and father of what we would know as some of the main greek gods (Hestia, Demeter, Hades, Poseidon, Hera and Zeus), was actually the son of Uranos, who he subverted thanks to the advice of his mother Gaia to use an agricultural tool to kill him. But as time went by and Cronus had started having children with his partner, Rhea, the fear of his descendants becoming stronger than him and doing the same thing he had done to his father took over him, which led to his decision of swallowing them all whole. He started with Hestia all the way back to Zeus, whom he couldn’t swallow right after he was born, unlike his other children, because this time Rhea had hid him in the island of Crete to protect him from his father. To deceive him, Rhea then covered a rock in cloth to make it resemble a baby for Cronus to eat it, thinking that it was a newborn Zeus.

Time passed and Zeus grew stronger until he was ready to confront his father and save his siblings from his womb, and when he finally did it, he managed to force Cronus into disgorge them one by one, in the reverse order they had been swallowed —which left Hestia as the last sibling to be disgorged.

After that, Zeus was left with a prophecy, where he would also be possibly overthrown by a son of his. And after Métis, the woman he was told would bear said child, gave birth he swallowed the newborn whole just like Cronus had done with his brothers and sisters. The child in question, however, started giving him headaches as it grew older and bigger inside of him and would become the goddess we know as Athena. What Zeus did with her was the repetition of a cycle perpetuated by his forefathers, a cycle of abuse and trauma that seems inescapable. What this part of the duality of the Capricorn archetype shows one of the ways in which those ideas of tradition and legacy can be carried on (a very negative one, to be honest), but that’s not the only way they can manifest, which gives the archetype this… almost cinematic quality, in my opinion. (And if we take this into account, I might headcanon Azula as a Capricorn rising due not only to the archetypal coincidences but the overall mastermind outlook she has and how much of a natural, domineering and calculating leader she is, but that’s besides the point.)

Now, let’s talk about the other side of the archetype, which gives it this incredible dual quality: Hestia’s path. Unlike her brother Zeus, Hestia was the one who not only had been devoured by her father, but she had spent the most time inside him as well. This is often associated with the emotional isolation many Capricorns experience in their youth, the lack of warmth and love by one of their parents, along with the desire not to become the abusive parent they were exposed to. Hestia is the other side of the story, the unspoken leader of the Olympians, the one who broke the toxic cycle running in her family for generations, vowing to become an eternal virgin and protector of the earth. Besides, Hestia means “hearth”: the inner fire, the one that is never allowed to go out.

(art by @elisebrave​)

That is the soul of the Capricorn archetype: the crossroads of destiny, the moment when the child decides whether to become like their parents, or forge their own path like Hestia did. Do you guys see what I see now? Are the similarities clear enough?

As my dear friend @persephobeee​ points out in her Capricorn essay (a crucial source for this one): “The Capricorn archetype is a cycle of stuck parents putting stress on their children at such a young age so then their kid ends up making money in retaliation, but then treat their kids the same as well due to the lack of warmth and freedom they had in their own childhood. The intense pressure put onto them as a child [then] leads to isolation and depression. It’s a cycle. ‘I don’t want to be my parent, but also… how they have ruined me’. The chain can continue with Zeus (projecting sorrows and nightmares onto their own children) or it could break with Hestia (the path of love, light and protection).”

This is why Capricorn’s planetary ruler, Saturn, is also associated with ideas found in this myth: restriction, limitation, order, boundaries, leadership, responsibility… pretty much dad vibes, to be honest. Do you guys see what I see or do I have to dig deeper?

“But isn’t zuko a firebender?? Why would he be an earth sign??”, you may ask.

The way that I might be making headcanons about the Gaang’s western zodiac signs isn’t gonna be based on which element they bend, because that would be quite reductive and restrictive for me as an astrology junkie, but their similarities to each sign’s archetype and overall characteristics. And yes, I do see Zuko as an earth sun, but that wouldn’t be his only sign, there is also the moon and the rising sign, which also have an important impact on the individual. In my opinion, Zuko’s personality embodies the qualities of fire signs as well: competitiveness, drive, passion, impulsiveness and loyalty. But to me those qualities are better shown in his character through his moon sign: an Aries moon, to be specific. See those anger outbursts? The “I don’t need any [fucking] calming tea!!”? The “you never think these things through”? Aries moon behavior, right there. But I’m not going to focus on moon signs right now. Let’s get back to the behavior I am the most well-versed at: Capricorn behavior.

So, the sign of Capricorn is also a cardinal sign, a leader, since they are the ones that begin each season. In the Northern Hemisphere, Capricorn season starts right on the winter solstice, and the opposite happens in the South. However, since all the astrology lore comes from the North thanks to the Greeks, Babylonians and more, the seasonal connections are related to the seasons there. As a consequence, Capricorn is the cardinal sign that brings the coldest, darkest season of the year: winter. And incorporating that into Zuko’s character would be incredibly fitting, in my opinion, because of some stuff I’ve read here on Tumblr saying that making him being born during the coldest time of the year would make it a terrible omen for a firebender, worse in this case due to him being born into the royal family, symbols of the power and “supremacy” of the Fire Nation. The fact that he would be born in winter, if we follow this reasoning, would have made him seem as a disappointment to his father ever since birth. 

… or maybe I’m just cruel, guys.

Moreover, I think Zuko embodies many of the Capricorn qualities in the way he carries himself (because no, not all Capricorns are confident managers with the world in our hands) and how hard he has to work to earn everything he gets. A key part of what this sign represents is “the path of hardships the goat has to overcome in order to reach the top of the mountain”, which along with the myth I have described before, could easily be applied to Zuko. It describes values of endurance, hard work, discipline and drive in order to achieve your goals, something that can be seen in Zuko all throughout the series, but changes its focus as the seasons go by. Besides, uhm… have you guys seen “The Day of Black Sun, Part 2”? That is literally the positive outcome of the Capricorn myth made into animation: the confrontation between an abusive father figure and his abused child who has decided to part ways with him in order to become a better person.

On another note, I think it is important to highlight how the Capricorn in Zuko could be seen based on how the rest of the Gaang treats him as well when he changes sides and he’s accepted into the group. How?, you may be wondering: as a father figure, but in a positive way. In many scenes it can be noticed how he naturally takes a position of leadership within the group as well as he takes care of the younger members such as Aang and Toph but, especially in Aang’s case, tries to ground them and teach them. As examples, take the following: Zuko reminding Aang that soon he will have to face the fact that he might have to kill Ozai, him trying to get everyone to train when the comet is about to arrive; how when Aang gets lost, it is him the one people look to in order to lead the group, etc.

Another thing that is well-known in Capricorns is our resilience and perseverance and, honestly: do I even need to explain that? When it comes to the guy who would get his ass beaten again and again and again for one season straight in order to get what he wanted which would also give him the approval of his father, what he craved most? It screams earth sign behavior to me, but with a heavy saturnian influence due to Zuko’s background which, to me, can be quite an interesting reflection of the Saturn/Cronus myth with his children. Said tenacity could also be exacerbated by the willpower and energy brought by the possibility of him having a fire moon, I don’t know, think about it. I stick to that headcanon.

That perseverance can also be seen when it comes to Zuko’s firebending, given how much he’s always trying to improve his skills. Although it could be argued that in reality he’s doing so due to the expectations put on him to be a proficient bender just like his sister in order to be accepted by his father, and his constant training to the point of exhaustion is just a manifestation of that toxic behavior. I am sorry to tell you, but that’s textbook Capricorn behavior, associated with the symbolism of the hardworking goat in general: working the hardest in order to get what you want is always on-brand when it comes to important Capricorn placements, and in my opinion Zuko is no exception.

Final thoughts.

Anyway, what I think would be most relevant is what I mentioned before about the Capricorn archetype and how it could tie in nicely to Zuko’s character arc with him as a representation of Hestia, who could grow out of the abuse she experienced and got a chance not to make her father’s mistakes and break that horrendous cycle she had been a victim of. I would go into this more deeply, but I think it has been enough for now. However, I’ll be back soon with a part two, talking about my water queen Katara. What do you think about this headcanon? Do you agree? If not, why? 

Thanks for coming to my weird-ass TedTalk at 1am. I needed to vent and I haven’t been able to put the computer down since 9pm, I literally only stopped to eat, lol.

See you soon, 

a Capricorn sun.

[touchmycoat]

Oh I love the transformed into a kid trope - it's so much easier to be affectionate with a kid and I love it when it's a reversal and the strong protector is the one vulnerable. Do you have headcanons about what LQG was like as a kid?

YES ME TOO!! goodness, baby Qingge. Not to get dramatic but I think whatever his non-courtesy name is, specifically the character(s), would really influence his personality. I remember pondering this question (being 98% sure that he doesn't have a canon little name right???) and looking up chengyu for fun characters to use. Then I found Yǒng (from 吟花詠柳 and 詠桑寓柳) and being like omg, this is perfect, it means recitation, is linked to Liu/willow in a lot of literary ways, and would give an explanation for why his courtesy name gets Ge/song. Then I went, wait a minute, that sounds kind of familiar. SURE ENOUGH, Liu Yong is exactly the name the Incomparable Feynite's given LQG, though someone with a stronger memory should tell me if Feynite's ever given the exact character. I'd really lose my mind if it's 詠.

(by the same principle, maybe Liu Mingyan's small name is Liu Li, 笠 as in a farmer's straw hat, from 煙蓑雨笠, meaning to hide your identity and live a carefree life MISS PSEUDONYM)

So, Liu Qingge, small name Liu Yong, A-Yong, Yong-er. His parents get to be cute sometimes and call him Huahua 'cause yin hua yong liu. Growing up, he doesn't say much but not in an icy way. He's big brother, so a lot of principles about right and wrong get instilled in him. One of his parents though, is a little bit of a Fucker and likes to complicate his right/wrong binary, and as a kiddo, Yong-er would frown and think about a philosophical quandary for hours. You can totally distract him by sending him out to do physical tasks, but as he sweeps the grounds or re-thatches the shooting targets, you'll see his little brow start to pucker again as motion becomes rote and questions start forming again.

He's clever! It's just that all of his process is internal. Not that he needs to be alone to sort things out, it's just that he only ever verbalizes conclusions.

I don't think he was a prodigy right out the gate. I think he was really good at discipline and followed all dojo protocol, all martial rituals to a tee. He learned things point-by-point in a pretty mulish manner and sometimes fell behind other students because he couldn't let one unmastered thing go, because he couldn't move on without figuring it out.

(In comparison, LMY began her training with a lot more tendency toward creative flourish. LMY's journey was about learning the discipline while LQG had to find himself in the discipline.)

A-Yong was active all over the place, but as time went on, he began devoting a lot of his energy to martial arts & cultivation (in canon-verse). He started to win fights but also to lose them. Thanks to his parents, he's a very methodical problem-solver, and first approaches the problem in terms of "Oh, I'm not fast/strong/sharp/flexible enough" and works hard to improve those. But when that doesn't do the trick, he asks his other parent, who asks him in turn what he notices when he spars with LMY. Genius, is the first word he throws out because it's what he hears a lot, but both himself and his parent frowns because that's not concrete, and therefore not useful. Creative is what he says next. Parent tells him agreed. So what does it take to be creative?

Yong-er is both a smart cookie and very, very self-determined. he does trust and rely on his family to a degree, so consults them. A-Li says she finds it fun. Brother says I find it fun too and Sister says no, you like it, but you don't do it for fun. He asks his other parent who says when is Hua-er creative?

Liu Yong comes to the conclusion that "creative" can be applied to him, just in a definition closer to "creation" than Liu Li's "creative." And Liu Yong creates when he speaks. After immense gravitas of thought, he speaks his answer, and sometimes, parents and other adults express surprise at what he's determined. The answer to taking his martial skills to the next level (to elevate them to the point of martial artistry) would, then, be to run all the skills and moves he knows through his own reckoning. What does he truly think of them? How does he judge them?

That first time he takes all he knows and processes them through himself, he comes out a new man. His martial arts has notably ascended, and he's cracked through that barrier of creativity to completely take ownership of his form and body. He's comfortable forming his own moves on the spot, reactive and sharp and disciplined all at once.

(The internal processing is also where his qi deviations happen. Not that it's overly common with him or anything, but when there are mental and spiritual blockages, his mulish tendency to not move on bites him in the ass. He catches on something and doesn't move past it, determined to untangle it, which stifles his qi flow and fucks him up.)

In terms of mannerisms, I think he really hasn't changed much. He's still intently serious and action-oriented. He's still fairly gullible. He takes after Frowny Parent (the one he goes to first with martial issues) in subtle stickiness—he's not overtly social but in his downtime, he prefers to just be doing things in the same space as people he loves and trusts. He used to toddle after Frowny Parent all the time like a little tail; Smiley Parent (the one who's a little bit of a Fucker) likes to quietly gesture Frowny Parent out of the room, sit them in some other room to do some other thing, and see how long it takes for Yong-er to follow and find them. It's like playing hide-and-seek with the kid without even letting him know they're playing.

True to his name, Yong-er does really regal recitations. Not intentionally, but he comes off super dignified and his pacing is superb. Frowny Parent gives him classic poems to memorize and recite, Smiley Parent teaches him bastardized versions with one or two lines changed to really flip the whole meaning of the poem. Parents have Yong-er run back and forth reciting poetry and songs as combative flirtation. A-Yong knows the Adults Are Doing Something, but is a dutiful son who obeys instructions regardless.

A-Yong and Xiao Li get on very well, despite the difference in their ages. When Xiao Li was just learning to walk, parents said once, pretty casually, "watch out for your sister," and A-Yong took that to the very core of his being. For a long time, A-Yong would set Xiao Li down in the middle of a field with a bunch of toys and things, and just sit with his legs crossed not to far away to watch over her. He's a super serious kid, and once, when Smiley Parent lightly suggests that he doesn't have to sacrifice his own fun to watch A-Li, Yong-er just looks up confused. Sure, he's not having fun, but whatever, he likes watching over his baby sister just fine. He doesn't need to "have fun" when he can be doing this.