#and there's a slightly different version for the band and crew that was there for the full tour??

[mamamittens]

And I Knew Your Name

@newscoozines

Here's my individual piece for the soulmate AU zine!

My AO3 version!

Gol D. Roger/Portgas D. Rouge

Soulmate AU: Enemy and Lover name on opposing wrists.

Word Count: 2,560

There was a thick black band on his wrist. Only one.

Usually, this was meant to signify loss. To cover up a fated name was to hide from fate itself in grief. That wasn’t quite Roger’s aim, though. If he wasn’t so worried that somehow that fucking name would appear somewhere less hidden he’d have cut off his own arm to be rid of it. It was an insult that they even darkened his skin with their dedicated letters.

He'd hide this until his dying breath if need be. Something Reyleigh would often roll his eyes at over Roger’s dramatics. But Roger was often called dramatic so that was hardly anything new. He was a self-proclaimed ‘simple man’. With few, albeit passionate, interests.

Adventure.

The sea.

His crew.

A good fight that set his blood alight and made his bones ache from the force—as rare as such a thing was these days. It made him nostalgic for his early days at sea where a true challenge was around every corner. He wouldn’t trade away any of it though. His only true heading that distant point on the horizon. The One Piece.

His name would be legend. Echoing well into a new age and if he was a very lucky man, into the ears of…

He rubbed his thumb over the delicate scrawl across his right wrist. The one not covered with a band. Hidden for a slightly different reason behind long sleeves.

If word got out who’s name was on his wrist, the Marines would hunt them down mercilessly. Though he knew in his heart that anyone who he’d have the honor of bearing their name could very well take care of themselves, he was a romantic at heart.

He wanted to see them in person first. Happen across their path.

The Voice of the Sea laughing as he felt his pulse race under his thumb.

Soon~

Gol D. Roger grinned.

He could feel it in his blood.

Although… given how vague the Sea could be, he didn’t expect soon to be so… well, soon.

Scarcely a week later, in fact. In a dingy bar on a tiny, terrorized island.

His crew was boisterous as always while the staff scrambled to accommodate them. He’d leave a good tip and spare himself the lashing Reyleigh would give him otherwise. They were hardly hurting for money and the people here could use it.

A bottle fell, shattering as Roger winced under the withering glare of his best friend and first mate. Quickly leaning down to scoop up the glass before the barmaid cut her shoes on it or tripped. He’d never hear the end of it then.

Roger sensed more than felt the edge of a blade touch the crown of his head, trimming a few hairs from the barest brush.

Reyleigh levelled his gun as Roger grinned.

“Oh? And to whom do I owe the pleasure~?” Roger nearly purred in amusement, impressed despite himself. His eyes flickering up to leather boots too small for a man.

Interest piqued, Roger followed the line polished leather over toned calves to just shy of practical shorts with many pockets. A flash of pale thighs visible from his vantage point. Puffy white shirt that bared slender arms with a generous bust. The woman kept her bladed staff level at his head, but his mind was far away from the possible danger his hair was in.

Pink. Her hair was the first, pale blush of dawn at sea with eyes the color of deep red coral. Expression deeply unamused and more than a little annoyed. Freckles splashed across her cheeks in a way that begged for his hands to see if they were flecks of sunlight to be brushed away. She looked like she knew exactly who he was and didn’t give a shit.

The world sang a note of sweet triumph and he knew her name like he knew the call of the Sea.

Deeper than the waves and beyond the cut of the horizon. Deceptively delicate in a way that invited him to touch while challenging him on the right to try.

He waited, breathless like the sea before a hurricane. Already forgetting the question while knowing the answer. But he wanted to hear it.

Needed to hear it.

To bear witness to the moment her voice carried in this dank little bar in the middle of nowhere like a revolution.

“Portgas D. Rouge. Bounty Hunter.” Her voice did indeed carry. Firm like adam wood and carving a space in his soul to last forever.

Roger nearly swooned, his knee touching the ground in reflex as he feverishly wondered if begging would earn him more words or just a look of disgust.

He was willing to risk it for a chance.

“You can take me anytime.” Roger breathed, the moment broken by Reyleigh groaning in disgust. A firm boot kicking his back jerking a grunt from him. “Anywhere.”

Another, much more pointed kick he ignored. He meant what he said.

Rouge—oh, what better name than the color in his veins? Racing in with every beat of his heart?—seemed equally disgusted with him. But her eyes were on him and him alone, so Roger counted that as a success.

He stood suddenly, power he didn’t realize he could still call his own helping him rise to his feet. Blade cautiously moving out of the way as Rouge eyed him with suspicion.

“What game are you playing, pirate?” She sneered, her lovely features twisting and pulling him closer. Taunting him to touch, or if he dared, taste. That would likely end with a blade in his gut but for even a heartbeat of time the price seemed fitting.

He travelled the Blues and saw so much beauty. It was only fair that he paid extra to hold it in his hands.

Roger rotated his wrist, sleeve pulling back as he bared her mark with a proud smile.

“Whatever game leads me to you, love.” Roger sighed, watching as she glanced at his wrist in confusion. Her eyes widened and for a moment she seemed to recognize her own handwriting.

But then she snorted, setting aside her weapon to flash bare wrists—both of them—at him.

“You’re full of shit!”

Disappointed, Roger pouted. He’d been hoping to one day see his name across a wrist he wouldn’t shatter in fury. But he supposed it was only fitting.

Like the Sea, Roger had no claim to Rouge herself. But she’d always have a claim to him. He’s always loved things he couldn’t keep.

Roger reflexively reached out to grasp her hands and she pulled back with a snarl. His lips quirked as he sighed, reminded of the sharp snap of waves on the hull of Oro Jackson. Deadly and filled with promise if he stepped foolishly.

But he was doomed to be a fool his whole life, so he found the steps familiar and with no shame.

He pulled back his hand and looked Rouge in the eyes.

“This is already more than I could ever ask for.” Roger reassured her, lifting up his wrist to brush his lips over the curve of her name.

Rouge flushed as though she could feel it and it took everything inside him to not surge forward and embrace her. To show her for just a moment in time how humbled he was to bear her name.

It didn’t matter that her wrists were bare. He’d been marked as hers from birth and that was a greater blessing than he could have ever wished for.

“Ewwww!”

“Gross!” His youngest boys hissed from well within the protective circle of his crew. Roger chuckled, glancing back at them with a wink.

They were still so young… they’d understand one day.

“Get a room, captain!” Reyleigh complained, nursing a beer.

Roger huffed at that one.

“Oh, she’d never let me!” Roger mourned. “I’m blessed to yearn from afar like the mountains calling to the depths of the sea. Maybe if I’m lucky she’ll deign to drown me.”

Several of his crew members screwed up their faces in disgust.

“Look at what you’ve done! You’ve mortified the poor girl and all she wanted to do was turn you in for money!” Crocus laughed, Roger’s head whipping around to find only the flash of Rouge’s silhouette as she left the door. His heart fell as tears pricked his eyes.

Still, he didn’t despair long. Couldn’t even if his crew wasn’t teasing him mercilessly.

Soon! Again~! Again~! The winds laughed from the crack under the door.

--*--

Rouge huffed, pulling her jacket in close as a cold breeze whipped across the cliffs. She’d been in the business since she was a young girl surrounded by pirates so stupid they’d drown in a puddle. They were a plague just about everywhere they went and she felt a curl of satisfaction in her heart every time she dragged more in. Even if they were barely worth the cost of rope to tie them up with.

She’d always been that way. Stubborn and burning. Her home island always tutting about her lack of order and propriety. When she was a kid, the others would tease her about her temper. About her pink hair too soft for someone with such a rough mouth. Taunt her with assurances that her wrists were blank because she’d always make enemies but never anyone of note.

Her ma said it’s because even the Sea knows when it’s beat—realizing before she even drew breath that deciding who her little rose bud loved and hated was futile.

And judging by the shit show in the bar only a month prior, Rouge decided that it was a good call to leave her skin blank.

If there was anything she was certain of, it’s that the scruffy pirate fool was closer to her mortal enemy than any lover she’d ever claim.

“If I’d known I’d be blessed in such a way, I would have brought an offering for the Sea.” A soft, husky voice reverently spoke. Rouge jolted, looking behind her to find it was that damn pirate again. His eyes just as wide as the last time she saw him, face open like she was the first sunrise he’d ever seen.

Her glare did nothing but delight him and Rouge tried not to think about how striking he looked in the golden light. The sun and sea had been remarkably kind to him, as had a life of piracy. Broad and strong with tan skin, he looked like he was ready to weather any storm. But his eyes looked like he was ready to fall to his knees at her word.

It was irritating and weak… but Rouge couldn’t help but think it strange.

She’d been stared at before. Leered upon like she was a delicate flower inviting their touch.

But she’d never been looked at with such open admiration. Like she was a storm breaking across the horizon with the fury of a hurricane and he had no desire to find safe harbor.

Gol D. Roger looked like he would die happy crushed under the waves and lost forever.

Still, he was irritating.

“Do you need something?” Rouge hissed, dismissing her train of thought swiftly before he noticed and was suddenly encouraged to continue his bullshit.

“Always. But I’d be a foolish man to not relish the chance to beg—if you’d have me.” Roger walked closer slowly, coming to a stop by her side, his eyes reluctant to leave her.

“Have you no pride? I thought that was something you pirates killed for.” Rouge huffed, rolling her eyes. Was she supposed to be impressed as how quickly he intended to fall at her feet?

“Arguably, I have too much pride. But there’s no shame in being man enough to know want.” He protested.

“You’re just saying that because of some ink. I bet you wouldn’t be saying any of that if your wrists were bare.” Rouge shivered a little as the cold wind swept by them, though the edge was less with Roger taking the brunt of it.

“If I didn’t have your name on my wrist, I would have fallen to my knees when you introduced yourself. I needed to prepare myself for when I finally heard you say it. I think I still might fall to my knees, actually. What other response could I have to such wonder?” Roger admitted candidly and Rouge wondered if the man was capable of feeling shame or this bizarre lustful worship of a women he’s barely spoken to.

“Do you really think I’m going to swoon when you talk like that?” Rouge asked despite herself.

“Of course not… I can dream of it though.”

“Dream smaller.”

He laughed, loudly and with his whole chest for a long moment. Finally, he calmed, wiping his face with a large grin under his black moustache.

“I’ve always been told I’m too ambitious for my own good!” Roger barked. “But I meant what I said. This is more than I could ever ask for. Every sailor get used to admiring the stars from a distance.” He said, looking at her with a fondness she couldn’t understand.

“What do the stars have to do with anything?” Rouge couldn’t help but ask, her gaze caught in his as the world fell quiet. Even that devilishly cold breeze falling still.

“The first thing you learn to use when sailing is the stars. You’ll never touch them. You won’t even see them all the time. But they’re always there and they burn.” Roger whispered fiercely, “If I thought there was a chance, I’d gladly burn at your hands. Your touch would scorch my bones until there was nothing left but dust. Carve out everything that’s yours and—if you deign to—throw the rest to the Sea. I could rest at the bottom in peace having known your embrace.”

Rouge, not for the first time, felt flushed at his words. So bold and shameless, she’d never guess he was a pirate menace if she didn’t already own his bounty poster.

“I-I still intend to turn you in for the money.” Rouge hissed, turning away sharply. Already aware it was too late to hide her fierce blush.

A rough, calloused hand grasped her own gently. Just enough to stop her, fingertips tracing over her delicate wrist as he pulled her back. She looked at him in shock and embarrassment. He lifted her knuckles to his lips and kissed them chastely.

“Or I could just buy you dinner?” Roger suggested, his breath curling over the back of her hand.

Her wrists were bare, not that some ink would tell her what to do.

He was a pirate and she, a bounty hunter.

But Roger… looked at her like she was beauty and death wrapped in one. Aware and covetous of her thorns. He was an idiot but strong. Passionate.

He may look at her like a man beholding a squall bearing down on his sails until they were shreds. But she was the one left breathless.

“That can be arranged.”

At her soft words, he lit up like the sun. Rouge had never been soft, but that was alright. Roger was soft enough for the both of them.

[coll2mitts]

#15 A Star is Born (1954)

When life unfortunately imitates art.

A Star is Born is a tale of addiction and fame that has four film adaptations that have nothing to do with the fact it's clear Oscar bait (although Judy did famously lose this one to Grace Kelly).  Did you guys know the entertainment industry changes and exploits people?  I surely didn't realize this until now, and that's why the academy has consistently rewarded movies that talk about how weird Hollywood is.  Y'know.  Cause there's so few of them.

I'm being glib, as this movie is probably one of the more sympathetic views of the big studio system, for all its flaws.  It focuses on Esther Blodgett, a singer in a touring band, and how her encounter and subsequent relationship with big-star actor Norman Maine changed her career, and thus her life.  This film is 3 hours long (it used to be both shorter and longer, for reasons explained later), and it *feels* that long.  For every moment of levity there are 30 minutes of pain, and while this feels tedious sometimes, it does a great job of illustrating the highs and lows of caring for someone struggling with addiction.  They burn so brightly in those small moments when everything is spectacular that it's almost worth slogging through the periods of grim instability that does nothing but foreshadow a bleak future.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story I will give a rundown below.  If you're curious how this 1954 version differs from the other three films, Be Kind Rewind has an excellent video that you should watch after reading this.  Seriously though, check out her channel, it's incredibly informative.

Esther Blodgett (Judy Garland) and the Glenn Williams Orchestra, lead by her buddy Danny McGuire (the adorable Tommy Noonan, who will forever be Gus in my eyes) have booked a gig during a benefit concert.  Norman Maine, a famous Hollywood actor, is supposed to perform as well, but he shows up drunk as a skunk and is having much more fun harassing the cast and crew than he is preparing to go on stage.  While his PR agent Matt Libby has correctly identified Norman is in no position to be in front of people, he tries to distract him by sending him to the dressing rooms to be interviewed.  This works for about 5 minutes until he hulks out and joins Esther and the gang on stage just for funsies.

In the sprit of 'fuck it, we'll do it live', Esther succeeds in getting Norman involved with the act as comedic relief, he gets the positive attention he craves from the audience, and everyone laughs like this isn't a big disaster played out in public.

Norman tries to thank Esther for saving him from looking even more like an ass by trying to get her to go to a second location with him.  Even though Esther finds this strangely sweet, Danny wisely helps her escape to their next gig and Libby takes Norman home to sleep it off.  That would be the end of it if Norman didn't arise from the grave like a vampire at 2:30am to hunt down Esther like she's his prey.  He finds her at a club on Sunset where her and her friends are rehearsing, and oh my god, it's so glorious.

I love Judy's voice; I get goosebumps every time I hear her.  She's such a powerhouse.

Also, FUN FACT: The composer of this song, Harold Arlen, scored Gay Purr-ee, so if you also think "The Man That Got Away" bares a striking resemblance to "Paris is a Lonely Town", there's a legitimate reason for that.

A now-sober Norman bombards Esther with metaphors about her excellence and gradually isolates her from the group by physically dragging her around.  Danny tries to separate them, but Esther leaves with Norman all the same to go back to her place and discuss her career goals.  When she reveals she wants to get a #1 record on Hit Parade, Norman retorts that Esther's dream is not big enough and she's wasting her time paling around with undignified gig musicians.  Esther is only slightly insulted by Norman's blatant disregard of the work she's already put in to get where she is, but buys into his promise to snag her a screen test.  Esther then breaks Danny's heart by quitting the band and asking them to move on to San Francisco without her.  Danny tries to change her mind by suggesting she might not want to trust a flake (no matter how charming he is), but Esther believes Norman sees potential in her nobody else has, igniting her desire to aim higher.

Of course Norman gets loaded after leaving Esther's house and his late night call to the head of the studio, Oliver Niles, is completely blown off as Norman trying to impress some broad he likes.  Instead, the studio ships Norman out to work on his next picture, completely abandoning Esther for 5-6 weeks.  Esther, never hearing back from Norman, moves into a cheaper place and gets a job as a roller skating waitress in an attempt to make ends meet while she attends auditions.  She manages to book a VO gig singing in a shampoo commercial, which helps Norman locate her upon his return because he recognizes her distinct voice on the television.  After tracking Esther down at the boarding house she's slumming in, Norman finally follows through with his promise and lands her a screen test.

This montage of Esther and Norman separating and reuniting is particularly bizarre as it is presented as pages in Esther's scrapbook - still sepia-tinted images with the character's dialogue dubbed over it.  It didn't feel intentional, as some of the scenes are live action, like a car or a bus pulling away from a building, or a shot of a woman's hand dipping into shampoo.  I initially assumed this artistic decision was to cut down the film's length, but the dialogue was still there, so it wasn't succeeding if that were the goal.  I later discovered the version of the film I was watching was the "restored" director's version, as the original wide-release had 30 minutes removed by order of the studio in an effort to cut down its considerable runtime.  Unfortunately, when Ron Haver, the film curator at the L.A. County Museum of Art, attempted to find the lost footage for the film's 1983 re-release, he discovered these scenes were truly lost to time (literally, as they could not find the original film reels).  Their "remedy" included displaying production stills with VO from the audio tapes they were able to locate.  Honestly, I think all of this particular section could have stayed on the cutting room floor, as it's a 30-minute detour that ends with Norman getting Esther the screen test, anyway.  I'm assuming these scenes were included as a way to show Norman struggling to help Esther despite his alcoholism, and Esther's new commitment to become famous.  We get those impressions through their initial interactions, so this not-so-little side-quest truly feels redundant. Later lost scenes, however, such as (spoiler alert) Norman's marriage proposal to Vicki, are pretty baffling omissions. I don't think the cuts robbed Judy of her Oscar win like Lorna Luft does, but it does fuck up the movie's continuity.

Upon Esther's first visit to the studio, the makeup department completely change her look after going into great detail about her flaws.  Norman hates the outcome and redoes her makeup to restore Esther's natural beauty.  Although Esther is nervous, she nails the audition and starts to book small parts, like those that require putting on a full face of makeup only to wave out the window of a train.  They even yell at her when they see her face, which is as blatant of a metaphor for being a woman in showbusiness if I ever saw one.  After the studio changes Esther's name to Vicki Lester, Norman convinces Oliver to cast Vicki as the lead in a new picture after their previous one bailed.  Upon release, the film becomes a wild success, and Vicki Lester's star quickly rises.

Y'know, I really want to take a tally of the percentage of the musicals on this list that feature their white stars in blackface or parody other racial stereotypes, cause it's more than I thought it would be.  Judy's daughter Lorna has mentioned Judy's foray into impersonating other races was "of its time", but I'm finding it incredibly exhausting and lazy that blackface is consistently used as shorthand for being poor or othered.

While the first half of this movie isn't necessarily incredibly upbeat, the rest of it goes downhill from here.  While Norman's newly released movie is getting terrible reviews, everyone is now obsessed with Vicki.  Feeling as though he's done what he could to introduce Esther to the world, Norman tries to leave her, citing he's an too-old disaster that will only drag her down.  Esther responds to this by confessing her love to him, and instead of Norman bailing, they quickly get engaged in the creepiest eavesdropping-est way on the back of the promise that Norman will quit drinking.

The pair first run to the head of the studio because apparently they need his permission to move forward with this doomed marriage.  Oliver gives his approval hoping that Vicki will be the positive influence that helps Norman stay on the straight and narrow. While Libby feels as if they're setting a trap for Vicki, he agrees to spin the story for the positive in order to give Norman some much needed good press.  Of course they exhaust any temporary good-will Libby was extending to them when the embarrassingly-named Mr. Earnest Sydney Gubbins and Esther Blodgett elope to a tiny courthouse to get married in secret.  When they reach their roadside motel honeymoon destination, Vicki hears her new song "It's a New World" on the radio as it reaches #1 on Hit Parade, implying that all of Esther's dreams have now come true.

They start their new life by purchasing an expensive house on a ocean-side cliff, only for Oliver to break the news to Norman that the studio has decided to let him go because of his inconsistent behavior.  Libby publicly plays it off like Norman is pursuing other opportunities, while in reality he's relegated to a house husband, making sandwiches, taking messages, and pensively putting golf balls.  While Norman seems generally supportive of Vicki's budding career, a delivery man calls him Mr. Lester and the bruise to Norman's ego sends him into a bender.  This starts to jeopardize Vicki's career when Norman decides to crash her Oscar acceptance speech by stumbling on stage and publicly declaring he needs a job. 

3 months later, Norman is in rehab and Vicki is on set filming her latest movie.  When Oliver comes to check on her, Vicki breaks down to one of the few people that understand her predicament, as she's both frustrated and scared by Norman's behavior.

Judy serves a heartbreaking performance during this monologue, with many speculating that this particular story hit too close to home.  Judy's life somewhat mimicked Norman's, as she was fired from MGM because of her inconsistent behavior as a result of her own addictions.  She was forced into the entertainment industry before she turned 3 years old, and even as a child was given amphetamines to keep her working and skinny. As she got older those habits became harder to break, especially when barbiturates were added to the mix to help her sleep. Most of her life had been spent earning money to provide for her parents, and then her own family, without the ability to choose if she could keep her pregnancies, or take time off after she was allowed to have Liza, in order to keep the checks rolling in for the studio. After years of constantly working with the help of prescription drugs, Judy struggled with mental health issues that the studio went through great lengths to hide, and the press was ecstatic to exploit.

Judy's husband at this time, Sid Luft, produced A Star is Born in order to cast Judy in this role and make the movie a musical.  Filming was difficult, but both Judy and James gave outstanding performances, as you feel the love between them while the heartbreak of addiction takes a toll on their marriage. Judy and Sid's relationship similarly didn't work out, as Sid confessed it was too difficult being with her.  Judy hated him toward the end of her life as custody battles kept her from her children. If you've listened to any interview with Judy or her kids, she was incredibly loving and supportive of them, valuing her family over everything else. She ended her life completely disillusioned with the same industry that lifted her up, because they were even more gleeful in knocking her down by depriving her of her own voice.

Judy is mostly remembered as a young girl belting out "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", or bounding around with Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire in romantic comedies, but this movie (specifically this scene) shows how underrated as a dramatic actress she was. The end scene of this movie between Esther and Danny legitimately scared the director, as Judy had never screamed on camera before. During Judy's eulogy, James Mason said "she could wring tears out of hearts of rock," and he's not wrong.

Upon Norman's release, he runs into Libby, who lashes out at him in frustration, leading to a physical altercation that Norman follows up with another bender.  After several days of no-contact, Oscar and Esther find him in jail on a drunk and disorderly charge after he crashes his car, and Esther begs the judge to let him come home with her so she can take care of him.  She puts Norman to bed and confides in Oliver she's quitting the business to take care of her husband and give his sobriety a fighting chance.  She has forced herself to believe that love will now be enough, and that Norman can be fixed if she can devote her time to him.  When Oliver protests because Norman's career is through, Esther reiterates she wouldn't have her career without Norman's connections and encouragement.  Unfortunately Norman overhears this conversation from the other room, and takes it upon himself to release Esther from the burden of being his wife by wading into the ocean and drowning.

As much as Esther wants to process her grief in her own time, her good friend Danny pushes her to rejoin the land of the living by attending the same benefit concert she performed at a year ago when she met Norman.  Norman was incredibly proud of the fact he discovered Vicki, and Danny posits he would be disappointed if she threw it all away because of him.  Vicki decides to show up at the shrine, and when she takes the stage to introduce herself as Mrs. Norman Maine, the crowd goes wild.  While they were dismissive of Norman and his disease while he was alive, they revere him and support Vicki after his death.

This is not a movie I would revisit often, as it emotionally takes a toll, but this is an absolute must-watch. Judy's performance proves why she's considered a legend - she's funny, flirty, hopeful, frustrated, heartbroken, and devastated, and all-the-while her voice is a goddamn masterpiece. James Mason similarly does a splendid job at portraying a charismatic and caring, but flawed and proud protagonist. I'm fairly uninterested in seeing the other versions, as I could easily be happy with this being the definitive telling of this story. Judy is absolutely everything, I don't know why anybody else would even try competing with her performance.

Thanks for reading!  If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 28 April

Back to Paris, for a bit of glamour, and then a track from the band with possibly the most 1950s name ever? I don't know, I think I'm excited for this batch of songs!

Under the Bridges of Paris - Eartha Kitt (peaked at Number 7)

It's the same song it was when Dean Martin sang it, so I'm not getting too excited here. It was fine, but a bit nothing-y. That said, I know Eartha Kitt is a bit of a legend and played Yzma in Emperor's New Groove. So I've got some hopes that it'll be different to Dean's version.

And the opening bars seem to confirm that. We've got a faster, more prominent instrumental bit, with heavy use of an accordion and some plinky glockenspiel bits. To be honest, it sounds a bit cheaper, and I don't love how prominent the accordion is, but it differentiates both versions from each other, I guess?

And then all is forgiven, because Eartha is singing in French! And she's kept the original, low-key spicy lyrics, all about people having romantic trysts under bridges. Eartha's French is good, too, with a slightly old-timey quavery Snow White voice. It's lovely, if a bit of a throw-back, especially with the very enunciated "oooo" sounds later on.

We spend the rest of the song switching oddly from language to language, smoothly and randomly enough that I didn't notice it on the first listen-through. It was only when I came to type up a lyric that I realised it was no longer French. At some points it's even changing mid-line, like when Eartha sings that Je veux apporter all my love. She makes it work, but it's a choice, for sure.

And then there's the husky, almost whispered lines scattered throughout, as Eartha sighs in your ear lines like Quel rendez-vous and oh chéri. It's seductive - definitely the extra French gives this song a sexiness that Dean's softer, more romantic version lacked. The potential saucy implication of lines like Under the bridges of Paris with you / I'd make your dreams come true were subtext in Dean's version, but Eartha makes them full-blown text, and I don't hate it.

Earth Angel - The Crew Cuts (4)

We got to doo-wop! I'd vaguely heard of this song, so I knew that I could probably expect something rock and roll-adjacent, but I still found myself really appreciating the rock and roll chord progressions and vaguely Everly Brother-ish voices.

It's not originally a Crew Cuts song, but rather a song by an American band, likewise with an excellent name, the Penguins, a doo-wop ensemble managed by a guy by the also excellent name of Dootsie Williams, who wrote the track. And then the Crew Cuts, a white Candian quartet, covered it, bringing it to the UK charts.

It's a cute song, exactly the sort of doo-wop silliness you'd expect, and mostly it repeats the chorus, as the Crew Cuts repeat: Earth angel, earth angel / Will you be mine? / My darling dear / Love you all the time / I'm just a fool / A fool in love with you. Sweet but nothing-y lyrics at their finest. The Crew Cuts are serenading and wooing a lovely lady, and love is making them into fools.

One of the verses genuinely doesn't make any literal sense to me, which might be a first in this project? Or can you tell me what it means when they sing about how I hoped and I pray that someday / I'll be the vision of your happiness? I get it, they want to make their angel happy. But it's a really awkward locution.

That's all making me sound like I don't like the song, but I really do. I think for me the stand-out elements are all in the performance and texture of it. From the boo-wa-ba backing in the opening, to the piano noodling around in the background, to the tight barbershop harmonies and the little "doo-do-doo-do-do" bits.

Plus it's an unmistakably rock and roll-inflected tune, which possibly makes it our first rock and roll ballad? We've had straight-up rockers, but this is rock and roll's venture - at least in the UK charts - into a new, softer, more sentimental mode. It's maybe a reach, but I'd even say that this kind of tune's almost the ur-super-pre-prototype for the power ballad.

Apparently a whole bunch of other people liked the song, either way. The list of people who've covered this song is a mile long, and it's been used in all sort of films, including Back to the Future. So there's that.

Two good songs today, or at least interesting ones. Both sounded like very little else that we've heard so far, in a good way. I think my favourite is the one that sounds more like the future, though.

Favourite song of the bunch: Earth Angel.

[periodicreviews]

14th Generation Toilet Hanako-san

Crowd interaction. For most people, crowd interaction at a music event will only ever entail clapping and maybe singing along. By doing so, we feel slightly more connected to the other people in the crowd and to the band.

Dancing, moshing, or crowd surfing might be the next level which serve to physically connect to the other members of a crowd.

From there, it might be the band coming into the crowd or crowd surfing themselves, literally bringing you closer to the band. Or you might pay extra for a VIP meet and greet where you might shake their hand or get a photo together. Fan clubs are another way to get more intimate experiences in smaller venues or non-musical settings.

Some groups like Metallica, hold volunteer events the day before the show which unite the crowd for some greater purpose. Or if the group is religious, you might view the concert itself as having a higher purpose.

But from there, where does your connection to the artist go, short of becoming a stalker?

I think 14th Generation Toilet Hanako-san has figured it out. By hitting people in the crowd with a paper fan and by throwing toilet paper and food at them.

 Intro

Hanako-san is an idol from Japan. The stereotypical image of an idol is usually one of the multitude of South Korean or Japanese groups where 1-100 young attractive girls/guys sing and dance pop music in tandem. But nowadays, at least in Japan, idol can really mean anything. From death metal to techno, there's a male/female/mixed idol group with whatever genre you want, with a variety of different themes from maids to street punks. Some groups put more emphasis on the intricate dance routines and others focus more on vocals. Most idol groups are differentiated from bands in that idols sing along with instrumental tracks as opposed to having the music performed live.

Many of these diverse combinations are not mainstream artists and play for crowds of like 20 people in tiny basement venues in Tokyo. Hanako-san falls into this category of "chika idol" or underground idol. At least for underground idols, there is no lip syncing, despite the physical strain of having to dance and sing at the same time.

One thing that sets Hanako-san apart from other artists is that typically those artists are just performing as themselves (or at least performing as the version of themselves that they want to show to an audience). But Hanako-san has taken on this persona of a ghost that haunts a toilet stall, which is based on a Japanese urban legend. In the few English interviews that are available, she answers most of the questions in character.

I think the novelty of this has more to do with me not getting out enough. Playing a character on stage isn't necessarily new, KISS has been doing it for 40+ years. Of the acts I've seen, Ghost probably comes as close to this in terms of characters/theatrics, but they never threw any toilet paper at me.

I had seen Hanako-san featured in a documentary called “Flowers of Passion” which offers a very intimate portrait of several different underground idols. When I had heard she was coming to perform in LA, when I happened to not have much going on at work, I thought “What the hell” and flew over to see the show.

 The experience

 When I first showed up to the supposed address of the venue, The Smell, all I found was an empty store front. There was like a door with no handle and I could see a sliver of light but no way to open it. I had vaguely remembered reading something about an alley, so I tried to go around one side of the building only to find what appeared to be craft services for a film crew. They stared suspiciously at me and I surveyed the big fence behind them with no apparent way around. I walked back to the other side of the building and at first glance, it seemed to be another fenced in parking lot. I finally gave up and walked into the nearby bar to ask. The bartender confirmed that I had to go into the alley. When I opened the door to exit, as luck would have it, I ran into the friend I had invited. I pretended I knew where I was going and walked back to the parking lot with him. In the darkness, we found an opening in the fence that wasn't visible until you got close to it. That led to the aforementioned alley and at this point my friend while nervously laughing asked "Where exactly are you taking me?"

We walked inside at almost exactly 830pm, which according to one flyer was the doors open time, but an email I had gotten had said the show would start exactly at 830pm. Fortunately, the opening act, Kuromy, was doing a sound check so there was plenty of time to get acquainted with the location of the bathroom and merch. I was a little disappointed that there were no shirts on sale since they were apparently a VIP only benefit. At $250, I couldn't really justify the VIP ticket if I was really only doing it for the shirt. But the regular ticket at 20 dollars was a steal. I picked up a copy of Hanako-san’s new album since I figured she would be performing most of it that night.

Kuromy was up first and made me glad that I had brought my ear plugs due to the volume. During the sound check they kept asking for the volume to be raised and I kept thinking to myself, "no please don't." But once the mosh pit started, I was really glad they were there. From the pit, it seemed clear that a bunch of people attending were fans of this band specifically, which gave the crowd some much needed diversity. Their music had a punk/riot grrrl style to it which fit the brick walls of the venue. The other thing that made them unique was that when they played one of their slower songs, the pit turned into into a slow dance of sorts as the audience members embraced and moved in a circular motion. I'm used to seeing the camaraderie of the pit but never expressed quite like this.

The second act was Paprika Mari, a local LA idol who performed with Hanako-san on her previous trip to America in 2018. Her microphone holder was styled after Ranka Lee's cellphone from Macross Frontier, so I had high expectations from the beginning. Accompanying her were dancers from a local studio which helped to give her a more mainstream idol image.

Several songs jumped out at me, the first being her song "Neko Neko Neko" which comes from the perspective of a cat. The arrangement was unexpectedly heavy metal and that provided a nice contrast with the typical idol image. Both this and her song "Taco Tuesday" seemed primed for a viral music video. She also performed a cover of the opening to the anime Genesis of Aquarion, which I was very surprised when I was the only person who cheered for it.

Mari was there not just as a performer but also as emcee/translator for Hanako-san. She gave a brief explanation of how Hanako-san is summoned by knocking on the 3rd stall and calling out her name. So she had the audience stomp/clap to knock and then call out her name. I was surprised when Hanako-san appeared immediately but from the smile on her face it seemed like she probably couldn't contain herself.

Before the show, we were instructed that we couldn't take videos of the performance, but thankfully she had Mari read a series of cue cards which spelled this out again for the crowd. After a few words in Japanese to the crowd, Hanako-san launched into her first song.

I'm normally not someone to like songs that are entirely screamo or harsh vocals, I usually like there to be some mix between harsh and clean vocals. But it was a special occasion of sorts so I didn't have any trouble getting through the night. She did have one or two songs that were broken up with her normal speaking voice and I feel like she could be just as appealing with non-screamo tracks.

Although I'd seen it before on a live stream, her full body head banging is a feat in itself to see live. Between her head banging and vocal style, I have always been worried about how her health is, particularly when she complained about neck pain during the show. I'm not sure she even has a manager or someone really looking after her.

A few songs in, she brought out a harisen, which is a large paper fan. If you've played Super Smash Bros, this is the same "Fan" item that you can hit players with and not damage them that much. She then proceeded to smack the top of the heads of each member of the front row. The fan makes a loud sound, but is relatively soft when it hits. It's more about the idea of getting attention from the idol rather than taking pleasure in the physical pain (though maybe they wanted that too). I'm sure that everyone in the front row was aware this was going to happen and had stood in front explicitly to get hit. I say that because no one made any attempts to get out of the front row after seeing the first person get hit.

Her show culminates in her standing up on a chair in the audience and then throwing food, toilet paper rolls, and later spitting various liquids like vegetable juice on audience members. Of course, before this happens, she hands out trash bags to be used as ponchos for those who did not want to get wet. I'm not sure if everyone in the crowd was immediately aware of what was happening, but I think the message was clear enough. There were also enough people standing right in front of her to intentionally get hit that people behind them were relatively safe.  

Maybe this is just me, but there's something somewhat liberating about saying "yes, I want you to stain my clothes and shoes" when you go your whole life trying to avoid that. Sure I've gone and played paintball before or gotten dirty doing yard work, but there are few opportunities where the objective is to get messy.

If you're thinking "Andrew, do you really want to get hit in the face with food/spit?" then the answer is no. That's precisely why in addition to my N95 mask, I wore a face shield, both to protect my mask and also to avoid getting anything in my eyes.

I also wore the first Babymetal shirt that I bought back in 2017. It has a bit of sentimental value but as my interest in Babymetal has waned and idols has waxed, I thought it would be fitting if it got destroyed/battle damaged from this show.

After Hanako's supply of juice, Cheerios, and tuna fish/mayo was exhausted, the clean up time ensues. Much like the recent news stories about Japanese fans at the World Cup cleaning up the stadium, the same thing is expected here. We used the toilet paper that had been thrown around before as well as the unused trash bag ponchos. Hanako-san berated the crowd for needing the cleaning song to be played twice in order to allow for enough time to clean.

The face shield worked flawlessly in case you were wondering. I was able to wipe off most of the tuna that I had been hit with, but I ended up washing my clothes in my hotel room when I got back and nothing was stained by the time I washed them again when I got home. Though the scent of tuna fish did linger in my shoes since I couldn't really wash and dry those in time for my 8am flight the next day. I'm not really sure if it was noticeable to the people surrounding me on the airplane since no one said anything to me.

  Why?

 This might come as a surprise, but if you asked me what my favorite Hanako-san song was, I couldn't give you an answer because I don't know any of the song titles. And until buying her CD at the show, I didn't own any of her music.

 So why fly across the country now that I hate traveling?

 Part of it was just wanting to experience this type of crazy live show once. Up until this point, all the shows I've gone to seen have been fairly conventional/mainstream. Sure there are other "shock rock" artists like GWAR who have a history of spraying fake blood into the audience. But I've never really had much interest in groups like that because they seem too extreme. I'm not really into graphic violence despite all the video games and anime I consume with graphic violence. A show like Hanako-san's felt like a much less extreme and safer way to experience that type of show.

I also wanted to experience this show because I'm not sure how much time she has left as an artist. Maybe this year, she blows up in popularity and then I'd never be able to get within 10 feet of her without waiting in line for hours.

Or maybe she gets in some kind of legal trouble for throwing things at the crowd. She apparently used to throw more objects at the crowd but someone did get hurt so she changed it to just toilet paper rolls. This is what I was most concerned about, particularly in America. I'm sure LA has some kind of rule about spitting into peoples' faces. This kind of rolls into the whole gatekeeping concept. Do you share this cool thing with your friends hoping she gets more popular and risk unwanted legal attention? Or do you keep quiet about it and condemn her to forever being this indie artist who I assume is scraping by to make a living. If she got popular and was forced to either quit or tone down her act, I'm not sure which she would choose. And if you took away the food/throwing things, would she just be another idol with a horror theme?

Most idols, particularly underground ones, do not last more than a few years. Yet Hanako-san has been at this since at least 2013 which is impressive even by non-idol band standards. And this is in spite of being banned from Twitter and various venues in Japan for making too much of a mess. Maybe my concern about her disappearing is overblown if she's had the tenacity to survive for this long, particularly through COVID lockdowns, without altering her image much.

At the beginning of this, I mentioned crowd interaction because that too factored into my decision to see the show now. The crowd can sometimes make or break a show and I didn't want to risk waiting and seeing it was a crowd that wasn't 100% committed to the artist. I was actually a little worried that I was going to be the person who knew the least. But the crowd never sang along and there was no other part of the ceremony that I hadn't already seen on the livestream or documentary that I had seen. There were also a number of people in the crowd who were there for the opener so I'm not sure they knew anything about what was going to happen.

  Conclusion

Babymetal was what got me started in J-music. But my interest steadily waned as they felt more and more inaccessible and more just like a product. In my quest to fill that hole, 2020 and the prevalence of livestreams drew me further down the rabbit hole of idols. Now I can check off the list going all the way to bottom to hell and I enjoyed it.

[actualhumansunshine]

NIALL HORAN Flicker World Tour Commemorative Plaque

“This tour plaque takes a different approach to ticket layout by using them to spell out Niall Horan's initials. This was a printed laser cut element that was popped on top of the background. The "Niall Horan" at the top and the "Flicker World Tour" were silkscreened on the plexiglass in a silver ink.”

[taminoarticles]

— Tamino for Milk.xyz, 2019 (x) (x)

Exploring Intentionality With Tamino

For this Belgian-born musician, every word counts.

10.1.2019 By Ella Jayes Photos by Dana Boulos

Tamino’s first New York show is sold out, and the crowd is enraptured. Throughout the performance, the audience seeks to establish a connection with the towering 22-year-old dressed in black. At every bout of silence, they ask questions, they request songs. “Play ‘Crocodile’!” one fan screams, and though he’s about to start another piece, Tamino switches chords and bends to our will. “I didn’t know that worked,” a surprised fan replies.

When he’s not touring with Radiohead’s Colin Greenwood, playing with the Nagham Zirkayat Orchestra or being personally requested to perform with Lana Del Rey, it’s just Tamino-Amir Moharam Fouad and his instruments.

When asked which guitar is his favorite, he answers like a proud father, “I can’t pick,” as he slings a black electric over his shoulder and secretly whispers “this one,” before heading into another song. Skipping octaves, his voice is like velvet, passing through Arabic vocal and tonal inflections.

Music is in the blood for the Belgian-born artist; with a name inspired by the prince of Mozart’s “The Magic Flute,” and a revered Egyptian grandfather nicknamed “The Sound of the Nile,” Tamino was born into music.

Before his show at National Sawdust and as he gears up to release the deluxe version of his debut album Amir [out October 18th via Arts & Crafts], we met Tamino at his hotel in Brooklyn. Just a day before the passing of Daniel Johnston, we spoke about the importance of authenticity in songwriting. We explored Tamino’s lyrical journey and the meaning behind his newest singles. It’s striking how thoughtful and specific he is with his words – in both his work and his spoken language.

So you have your show in New York tomorrow, you’ll be touring in the US and Canada, then you go into the Middle East, North Africa, and then the EU — you were also on tour at the beginning of the year as well. How are you faring with being on the road so much?

I’m very lucky because I have an amazing crew: my sound guy, my tour manager, if we’re with the band, we have a slightly bigger crew, we have two musicians and a backliner, and light guy [sic]. They’re all good guys; without them, I wouldn’t be able to bear it, I think.

I like being home; I like to be alone, and I like to write and work on music. So being away from that is sometimes hard. The good thing, and also, the kind of weird thing about playing shows is that you’re kind of dedicating your life to that: being on the road. You travel the whole day and then in the evening, you have your show. It all comes down to that. You have to make it work because otherwise it’s been for nothing, you know? You kind of push all of your energy into that, and you receive a lot of energy back from the crowd, which is what keeps you going, I guess; that interaction, the energy.

How do you recalibrate before getting on stage? How do you get in the correct mindset?

I do like to warm up my voice. I think that’s something that’s important. It’s good to get into the right mindset, and also to just get my body ready. Apart from that, I think am [sic] somebody who does well with routine, but right now I don’t really have one. When we tour, it’s not like we have the same production each evening. It’s like, “Oh, now we’re playing for 200 people...Oh, now we’re playing for thousands of people.” It’s always different from each other. Also backstage, it’s always different, so it’s difficult to maintain a routine. But I think maybe in the future, meditation would be nice, or just something to get me in the moment.

I must say I’m doing better and better on stage, in terms of being there, and not being stuck in thought. I did have trouble with that in the beginning; sometimes I was just thinking about stuff.

Like what?

Stupid stuff like tasks I had to do; nothing that has anything to do with the show. Hesitations like, “I wonder if the crowd is liking this or..” just stuff you shouldn’t be thinking about while you’re performing.

Lately, when I’m on the stage, I really feel like it’s not that much of a problem anymore. I can just let go. Those are the most beautiful moments, when you are really led by your own music; you just feel that the crowd is reacting to that, and I really like that; it’s something I’m always after. It’s kind of a transcendence feeling. If it works, it’s better than meditation, for me. My whole evening is different after that.

It makes sense, you’re fully in the present.

One of the main aspects of music is connecting with other people. Is there a specific crowd that really resonated with you? Or a specific fan, or show? I’m sure that they’re all great, but if there’s, one that comes to mind…

They’re all great, yeah, that’s the diplomatic answer. It depends, probably some cultures are more keen to show emotion.

What differences have you noticed between the crowds?

In Italy, they are very enthusiastic, but they are very respectful at the same time. It’s very special, they will be quiet for the whole song, and then they will want to shout, and they will throw roses at you, or whatever. It’s very romantic, the French are like that as well. In America, I feel actually very welcomed. It’s very inviting here, I don’t know how else to put it. I have the feeling, maybe I’m wrong about that, but as a European, it is like the new world, you know? And so many people move here. Of course, it was all a very long time ago, but people are still moving here. There are so many cultures coming together, and that’s why the crowd is very receiving. They’re open for other cultures; let’s say, it’s not an island.

I haven’t had many bad experiences, to be honest. I think I’ve been very lucky so far. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had a worldwide hit song or something like that. I think that’s the moment where you get crowds that are only there for that one song. And so far, I think I’ve always had crowds who have really invested in music. They’re there with a purpose, they want to experience something. Until I have this hit song, I don’t know if I’ll ever have one...I don’t know if I ever want one, to be honest, because of that reason...but until that time comes, I think I will always have good experiences.

What’s the first thing that you want to do when you’re done touring in December?

I’m moving to a new house. I feel like I just want to decorate the place. It’s the first time I will be really designing what it looks like. It’s in this very multicultural area, a lot of Arabic families live there, but lately, a lot of other Belgian families have been moving there. It’s kind of becoming this nice clash of cultures, and I like that. It feels like it’s a vibrant place.

Antwerp is very, very small. You can cross one corner, and then you are in a totally different area. It’s this very small area of a lot of cultures coming together and I really like that. I would say some parts are too gentrified, which wouldn’t have been a good place to go and live for me. It doesn’t really inspire, it’s not a vibrant place. It kind of feels boring.

In Belgium, lately, because it’s such a small country, it’s not difficult to become known, so they recognize me, or whatever. It’s not like they bother me, but I prefer to…

Just go about your day.

Yeah.

What are your inspirations for your new place? What do you like?

So many things, I know this designer he’s called Jan Jan Van Essche. He is really, really cool Of course his clothes, I love; I wear a lot of what he does. But the way he decorated his shop, and his office where he works and where he draws, it’s so beautiful. It’s a mix of, say a lot of different ethnical inspirations coming together with kind of a roughness, a bit more industrial. But very humble. It’s a very humble appearance. It’s not too over the top.

You have two new songs, “Crocodile” and “Every Pore,” but only the former is out at the moment...do you want to talk about them?

The second one’s out next month. They’re both quite old songs. So when I chose to record for my album, I had a lot of songs, and I chose these possible candidates for the record. Those two made it to the last 15-16 songs I would say. But then, in the end, they fell out. When I listened to them again, and sometimes I played them live, I always had a good reaction on the songs.

I really like them, I just think they’re true B-Sides; they are kind of odd songs in comparison to the other ones. I really felt like I wanted to release them anyway, so with the deluxe version, I felt that was a really good opportunity. With the song we just released, “Crocodile,” for me it was very weird listening back to the song. I wrote it so many years ago, and it kind of perfectly talks about the situation I’m in right now, not literally. You have this crocodile, and he looks at the songbird and offers the metaphor. Crocodile could be the person that has yet to be awakened, and the songbird is what he could be.

I guess any artist goes through that; you see a version of yourself, you want to strive forward, but you also know everything that comes with that because of history, because of stories you’ve heard so many times. And you know that there is a truth in those stories because they happen over, and over, and over, and it can happen to you as well.

I read in another interview that you said “Someone can play three chords or maybe even one chord and move me. It’s because of the person that plays it, and how they play it.” When’s the last time that happened to you?

Let me check my Spotify because I always forget whatever I’ve been listening to lately.

Okay, my daily mixes are the singer- songwriters from America, the new ones, the ones who are still alive. Then, the ones who are a bit older, or dead. And then Arabic music. The more Alternative stuff, some Hip-Hop, all kinds of stuff.

Do you know The Disintegration Loops by William Basinski? It’s crazy. So he has tapes of existing music, and he manipulates them. But this one was broken, and it just kept on looping, and every time it looped, it got more broken. During this session, 9/11 happened. So he was looking, out and the album cover is a photo from where he was working.

It’s the same thing over and over, but it moves me like crazy. Do you know Daniel Johnston? I think what’s so cool is that he’s not a virtuoso, but he moves me more than 99% of all virtuosos.

He’s authentic.

Yeah, he’s authentic...how do you say it? We say, he has (literally translated) “saying power,” power in what he says... His songs are beautiful, the lyrics are heartbreaking…

What are you reading right now?

I just started A Brave New World which is cool. I think he was really young when he wrote it, it’s just insane to realize he wrote it then. It’s so accurate. If there were people who wanted to create this Utopian society where everything is perfect, it would be like that. I haven’t read 1984 though which is similar I think.

Your writing is very rooted in emotion. I’m assuming it could be cathartic to perform, but I’m wondering if there’s ever been a moment where it felt like too much.

I’m not sure. I don’t think so, actually. Maybe like once or twice, it’s usually when you just finished writing a song, and you perform it for the first time, that’s usually a very special moment. I don’t really feel like it’s ever too much though, that I can’t play it.

I feel like there is also a certain sense of letting go once you’ve performed it. Once you’re ready to release it to the world, you’ve almost come to terms with whatever you were writing about.

Absolutely, that’s true. You realize it’s not yours anymore. Have you listened to Mount Eerie’s record, A Crow Looked at Me? He had a child with his wife, and then his wife died. It’s really, really terrible. That record is really beautiful. I’ve never seen a concert of his, but he did this concert in the Netherlands once in a church, and that was so emotional for everyone there, apparently. If I listen to that record, I’m always wondering, “Whoa, how does he do it?”

You’ve previously discussed the idea of letting go of performing the exact recording of your work, and moving more towards letting the music evolve through playing it. Has there ever been a time when you’ve wanted to change a lyric or something?

Of course, I mean, it’s actually funny because in the foreword of Brave New World, Aldous Huxley is talking about looking back at old work, and you, of course, want to change stuff, but that it’s also beautiful in a way, that you cannot.

And it’s this moment in time, where you were that person back then, and you were that kind of artist back then. I think some of the lyrics on my first record are very naive and very bold, in a way. Naive is kind of the more negative way of looking at it, and bold is the more positive way of looking at them.

Probably, I’m less naive in my songwriting right now, but I’m also less bold. That’s something that I feel right now, the older you get, the more you think; you have more in your archive, you overthink. But, I have no trouble performing those older songs. Even if I’m not very proud of certain lyrics, I still feel totally behind them. I’m still comfortable representing those songs. I stand behind them.

Because your words are so intentional, when you’re actually writing them, is there a revision process or do you just kind of get tapped into something and write?

I hope to just write, and then stuff happens. The lyrics, I go over and over it, until they are just right. So far I’ve written more out of music. So the music came first, and then the lyrics. I’ve done it the other way around as well, but I feel like those initial melodies and structures, they’re always the best when they just come out of this flow.

It’s like a gift, you just have to be open to receive it. I went to see Nick Cave, and he said such a beautiful thing. He said there’s no such thing as writer’s block; too many people think that there’s something inside of them that they need to get out, but it’s actually something that’s out there that needs to go through them.

If you are open for that, so if you try each day, then eventually those things will flow through you. Or maybe you’re in a certain moment in your life, where it’s not really going through you.

Last question – if music did not exist what would you do?

I wouldn’t know. I did acting and theatre when I was a kid. I really liked that, it was my first passion. I like writing as well. As long as I have a creative outlet, then it’s fine.

CREDITS

PHOTOGRAPHER: Dana Boulos

PRODUCER + EDITORIAL DIRECTOR: Ella Jayes

HAIR + MAKEUP: Heather Rose Harris PHOTO ASSISTANT: Henry Fey

Special Thanks to Studio Blackheart, Nicole Prokes, + Chris Swainston.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Ineffable Con 2020 Fun Facts

Fun facts from the Ineffable Con 2 (2020) guest panels :): 

Neil Gaiman, Douglas Mackinnon and Rob Wilkins

David G. Arnold (the music composer)

Claire Anderson (the costume designer)

Peter Anderson (Peter Anderson Studio created the opening title animation and in-show graphics)

Paul Adeyefa (Disposable Demon)

Jeremy Marshall-Roberts (the owner of Mary the Bentley)

1. Neil Gaiman, Douglas Mackinnon and Rob Wilkins

What do they have from Good Omens:

Rob has the statue from St. Beryls, all four motorbikes from the four horsemen, Crowley’s Devon watch, box signed by David Tennant with Crowley’s sunglasses and Aziraphale’s cocoa mug with Michael Sheen’s DNA :).

Douglas has the playing cards from Episode 1 and heavily annotated Good Omens book they used for filming with inscription by Neil: ‘For Douglas, make us love, make us cry, 3rd August 2017’.

Neil has Aziraphale’s chair from the bookshop that he bought from the BBC and he uses it for Zoom meetings.

What is their favourite thing that was not in the book and was added to the TV show:

Neil: all of the first half of Episode 3 - an absolute joy.

Rob: also the beginning of Episode 3.

Douglas: David Arnold’s music and Peter Anderson’s front titles.

Could Aziraphale get out of the Bastille easily if he wanted to?

Neil: if he could: absolutely. Did he have any conception of the mess he was in: probably not. It’s one of Neil’s favourite pieces of acting - the absolute delight on Aziraphale’s face when he realizes that Crowley’s there and then he turns around and rather petulantly, grumpily goes oh it’s you - that moment of joy on Aziraphale’s face when he realizes that he’s been rescued is one of Neil’s favourite things. 

Neil and yoghurt starter: I had this slightly mad thing where I would explain to everybody that fans were yoghurt starter. And I said, ‘Basically you start out with yoghurt starter and you put it into your warm milk and you leave it, and the yoghurt starter goes off and turns the entire thing into yoghurt. 

Neil realized that there was a cat in his house (Neil doesn’t have a cat :)). After the panel Neil said that he was going to look for the cat with a can of sardines and Douglas joked that he would find Michael Sheen in a cat costume.

What was the best and worst about making the series:

Douglas: the best - the camaraderie, getting to know the people, the cast and crew. 

Rob: the best - realizing that the book could be translated to the screen and watching it happen. The worst - coming to the end of the shoot and saying goodbye to everybody.

Neil: the best - the amount of love from everybody, the worst - fighting budget battles (producers wanted gone all of the cold opening and the death of Agnes Nutter).

Did they expect that Good Omens would attract so many LBGTQ+ people and how they feel about that:

Neil: Yes, absolutely. There are definitely people out there who seem to think that I accidentally wrote a love story with all of the beats of a love story including a break-up halfway through, without somehow noticing that I’d written a love story. And I may not be the brightest candle on the candelabra, but as an author who’s been doing it for a long time, I’m very well aware of when I’m writing a love story, thank you very much. And so from my perspective I knew that the love story would be one of the driving things that would get us from the beginning to the end. And I also made a bunch of decisions about our angels and our demons in terms of casting, in terms of gender that everybody backed me up on, which I loved. You know, the idea that the archangel Michael is played by Doon [Mackichan] is something that is... or Beelzebub is Anna Maxwell Martin, whatever, there’s... it’s not like we are going: these are women, there are men, we are going: these are demons, these are angels. They... this is not a thing. And also doing something like Pollution, where you go in and go: okay  well if we were doing this in... if 1989 was now, if there were they pronouns, we probably would have done that. We didn’t think of it at the time but that’s no reason why we can’t do it now. And we did and I remember having a... not exactly a battle, but a... my very tiny skirmish with one of our execs who was very nice and very bright and was like: ‘Why are you saying they?’, and I’m like... and I... explaining, and he’s like: ‘Well I’ve never heard of that before.’, and I’m like: ‘Oh, okay, but trust me, just trust me, it’s all fine, just trust me.’

Douglas: And you know I have to say, just following on what Neil’s saying, I’ve been directing for quite a while, and I tend to notice if characters are falling in love, I tend to notice a love story happening in front of me, and I think it’s there, and everything is meant, guys, everything is meant.

Neil added: I would just say, there are some things that you do while you’re writing a script intentionally. The fact that... I wanted to do this, well, it was a thing I did that I really enjoyed doing... where whenever people accuse them of being a couple: they don’t deny it, they don’t argue, there’s no flustering on their part. They absolutely… you know, everybody… what I’m trying to say is:  yes, other people in the story are perceiving them as a couple too. And here is Uriel perceiving them as a couple, here is wonderful Dan [Starkey, playing the passerby] …and you know, you do scenes like that because that’s... you are trying to make a point here and you’re trying to make a point on how people are perceived.

Season 2, yes or no [fiends, all three of them!]:

Douglas: What’s that?

Neil: Of what?

Rob: Is it muted for me as is for everyone else?

Neil confirmed that they are going to be Funko Pops. [yay!]

2. David G. Arnold (the music composer)

He didn’t read the book before he was approached to do the music. He was asked to do it by Douglas Mackinnon he knew from the Victorian episode of Sherlock and he said yes before even knowing what it was about because he wanted to work with Douglas again.  

The first piece of music he wrote for the show was the brass band doing the Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon [Episode 6, in the park before the kidnapping].

The second piece of music he wrote was the lullaby that Crowley sings to Warlock. He always liked the lullabies like in Mary Poppins so he said to Neil: Why don’t we do it like Walt Disney, but if Walt Disney was possessed by Satan? That was about 7 months before he needed to write anything again while they were shooting and it kept going round his head the whole time - the melody stuck with him and when it came to the Opening Title of the show, this became the middle bit.

The original opening title was Everyday by Buddy Holly and each episode was supposed to be closed with a different version of it: a death metal version, an angelic choir version, a carmina burana version... and he actually made all those. But he likes to find the musical identity of the show and put it in the opening titles because it’s important and it tells you: ‘This is the word you’re going to experience’, so he wrote his own opening title with the lullaby in the middle and played it to them [probably Neil and Douglas] with Buddy Holly as the backup and: Neil just turned around in his chair and said, ‘That’s Good Omens.’. From that point the instructions were with no rules, just to create whatever he wanted: the further you can go the better, the weirder and the stranger you can think the better. It’s a rare thing to be shown a world like Good Omens and be let free to run around in it. 

His favourite ending title is the Queen one in Episode 1.

One of the reasons he didn’t do a theme for Crowley and a theme for Aziraphale is that the theme of the show is theirs - it’s theirs and they share it and it’s both of theirs and there is no separating in that regard. 

About Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship reflected in the music score: It’s interesting isn’t it, because the relationship changed in a way slightly frequently and majorly infrequently. It seemed right from the start that their relationship was somehow seeded and planted and had begun by the time we saw them even though they may not have realised it themselves, you know, with the pair of them on the wall, considering one is a demon in the Garden of Eden and one is an angel. They act very charitably towards each other and they act with a lot of things you might not expect. And underneath that there is a sort of sense of togetherness and support even though they both know that their paths are going to diverge and they have different responsibilities. So I always felt like, right from that moment, when the wing came up on the wall, that there was something special about their relationship. Three moments that stuck with him: in Episode 3 saving the books in the church when they completely rely on the other for survival in the way that they were very open about, one in the car outside the nightclub in 60s Soho - the Holy Water, you go too fast for me, that genuinely tearing, that there was reluctance in those words that he spoke and that sort of things as a composer is gold, it’s about making those moments more, and in the last episode in a scene they’re not event in when we see Adam and Dog in the fields and Anathema that music there which celebrates Crowley and Aziraphale’s music which is the theme of the show - their shadow has passed over everyone’s emotional journey, and everyone’s emotional journey is theirs as well. The argument in the bandstand was important as well.

His favourite leitmotif from the series is the lullaby.

About the scene in the car in episode 2 when Thomas Tallis changes into Queen: Terry’s favourite piece of classical music was the Thomas Tallis piece [Spem in Alium] so Neil asked if they can go from Thomas Tallis - a choral piece from 16th century - to We Will Rock You, and: ‘You never say no. You don’t say that you can’t do it. What you have to do is to be the first person who solves the problem.’ In the end it was a two-days work just for this little bit and he mentioned that he never had these sorts of challenges anywhere else before.

His favourite non-musical detail in the show - the crucifixion, how the scene was shot, how it was upsetting, and how it was made more effective by Aziraphale and Crowley’s inability to stop it, that they had to observe and watch it, that it had to happen. I remember seeing that at the time and thinking, I wasn’t expecting that level of brutal honesty, in terms of the pictures that I was looking at and what they chose to show. And I think all the more effective for it. 

3. Claire Anderson (the costume designer)

When creating the costumes for the characters she started with mood boards. 

Aziraphale - she knew that he needed to have something winglike in his collar so that’s why there are sweeping lapels very often. Using velvet [for the waistcoat] because that was nice and soft and had all the appropriate qualities. His watch and fob that has little gold wings hanging from it and other tiny bits of symbolism. Tartan bow tie. Beautiful cashmere checkered trousers - not quite tartan but a nod to it. A mid to late Victorian coat, Michael only made his decision on the coat a couple of days before the filming. Aziraphale in the present settled on a ring with angelic symbol and harp cufflinks, earlier his ring in ancient times has got a much more roughly hewn set of wings on it, so before jewellery making became sophisticated he modernised slightly - he magicked it up to be a bit more modern, more gentleman signet type of ring, but he never modernises entirely. His heart is much more in the past.

After they began to define Aziraphale they started to look at how the Heaven army of angels might look - the element of tartan came sort of from Aziraphale and the angels have a not-tartan kilt with a semi military type jacket and a military band across that might hold arms or not, because they are not really violent. She used spats to make them look quite neutral and genderless so hiding fastenings and concealing little details like that seemed a way to do that.

Gabriel doesn’t wear spats because he’s on Earth such a lot. His shoe has a cover with two buckles on the side giving the same neutral element. He wears a cashmere light-as-air suit.

The other angels are all in bastardized versions of what era they may have died in, so they could have died in the 1930s or the 1800s and the costume would have an element of that era about it - though of course as an angel you can change things.

The Quartermaster Angel - the costume is a combination of slightly Indian type military, maharaja pants, longer spats from another era, all combined pieces of military tailored to be magical and slightly nonsensical, as Heaven might be.

Crowley - she felt that he wrapped around like a snake sheds its skin so she wanted something double breasted because that seemed to envelope his snakey charm. David wanted to be more casual than wearing a suit. Under his collar he always has a flash of red like the snake that he comes from - the red belly. They put a red seam into the sole of his boots so always there is a hint of where he came from. The red tie in the blitz. He was more rock and roll than Aziraphale and modernised more to a snakehipped rock and roll star really. His present jacket - the fabric there is quilted, they found an 80s jacket that had elements of things they enjoyed - part of that was that it had a slightly quilted quality to the fabric which was like a textured snakeskin. It took quite a long time to create the fabric and then to make the jacket from that - they quilted some fabric and washed and whooshed it repeatedly to create a bit of puckering in it. He has a snakey scarf around his neck like a chain mail linked scales of skin scarf that he wore that complemented his neck chain. The trousers he wore in Victorian times are the same he wore in the 60s when he meets young Shadwell. His present trousers - slightly waxy denim - we just were looking for a slithery finish. Crowley’s neck chain - there is only one in the world - her tailor has a Gothic church full of interesting stuff like busts and drapes with old things, this chain mail scarf was there and David was looking for something to complete his costume and liked it. 

Hastur and Ligur are her favourite characters - they were so enjoyable to create. She had an amazing book of 1920s and 30s criminals and they used that as a starting point, because they were all quite worn out and bedraggled and poverty stricken and like hell might be ideally. They burnt and decayed the bottom of them as if they were rotting from the Earth and rotting back into the ground - all demons have sort of gators as if they were rotting from the ground up.

One of the most difficult things was the demons - when they realized they had a few days to create hundreds of demons in South Africa (4-5 days for almost 200 demons). It was as if I had been dissolved in holy water when they asked me for another 150 costumes.

The sleeves of Anathema’s coat have been inspired by a Victorian cycling coat. 

The historical costume that Newt’s ancestor wore influenced his and Shadwell’s costumes - they used elements of the historical costume to put a little cape on Newt and Shadwell and their wax coats to give them the quality of that look. Newt's costume has a lot of mustard to make him feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable - it's not the most flattering colour on a northern European complexion.

The nuns’ headdress needed to look a little bit demonic - she bought a whole book on nuns’ headdresses for research. They also used the V in the nurse's apron because that was nicely demonic. The nurses' watch has got this Satanic symbol at the top - a little take on the medical since old nurses’ uniforms used to have watches.

For Madame Tracy she went back into the 70s, slightly Biba-esque makeup and a cape. They had only one pair of her goggles so it was always a nightmare to find them.

Which part of the cold opening is her favourite: I love ancient Rome because there is at least 6 to 12 metre of fabric in a toga and that was quite fun wrapping that around the boys and creating those., and her favourite was the Globe.

The lapels represent wings in every way and every shape and every form. Wings are very important.

4. Peter Anderson (Peter Anderson Studio created the opening title animation and in-show graphics)

The first thing that the director Douglas Mackinnon (with whom he worked on Doctor Who and Sherlock) said to him was: for all the graphics, for all the title sequence, for everything, I want you to promise me one thing, and that is very, very simple, promise that you send me emails that say: ‘this might be absolutely nuts, but my idea is...’.

The opening title it’s full of easter eggs - it’s a type of sequence that’s been designed to watch a thousand times, for example: on the escalator down to Hell there is one character running up deciding that he doesn’t want to go to Hell or the sea is full of plastic bags because we don’t look after the planet.

Every single face in the title sequence is either Crowley’s or Azriphale’s, they are repeated all the way through - inspired by Neil saying that there’s good and evil in all of us, so there is a grand procession of people of all the characters from the story - marching towards Armageddon - but all the characters have been taken over by good or evil. And along the way our two heroes are kind of playing tricks on each other, doing good, doing evil

The opening title combines multiple elements - two dimensional animation elements, three dimensional animation elements, CGI and live action (the people in the procession were created by live action on a travelator). So the result is a kind of strangeness - such as 3D figures with 2D animated tracked heads - which makes it unique.

Their first idea and version of the opening title was based on tapestries of old, subverting them, but then they wanted something more new and fresh.

Both Douglas and Neil were an important part of the opening title creation process.

The opening title sequence took about a year to make from the creative start with four intensive months towards the end.

One of things that inspired him was a Bauhaus theatre image from 1930s.

Question if the hand-drawn font for the graphics will be a purchasable font: no, because it was original and it’s unique and it was created just for this - it was for the love of the show and the story and it will be kept there.

In the scene where there are three photos of witchfinders - Neil and Douglas revealed in the DVD commentaries that two of them are their grandfathers - the third one is Peter’s great uncle.

Originally the signs telling us things like ‘Thursday’ or ‘Mesopotamia’ - were done as if somebody (who was living inside the television screen) ran up close to the screen and showed us the sign. In the end they simplified it, only showing the signs. The one time that it was sort of left in the show was when in Episode 5 a little demon in the video game shows a sign ‘GAME OVER’.

Outside of his work on it, what was his favourite thing on Good Omens: spending time with Douglas and Neil, and also working with Milk VFX - I think I can honestly say it's the best job I've ever worked on with the nicest people. 

5. Paul Adeyefa (Disposable Demon)

He first read the book when preparing for the audition - the character wasn’t in the book but he got into it, loved it and couldn’t put it down.

He didn’t know about the name Eric until the script was published and people started calling the demon that, he really likes the name and thinks it fits.

There was a version of the script where the demon was going to be dressed in different costumes each time he was discorporated (for example one in long hair wearing a dress) - they would be all the same but different incarnations, in one version they had different accents. 

The first scene he shot was the one where the demon goes to Heaven to deliver the Hellfire (and also wants to hit ‘Aziraphale’ which was cut). That first day was also his favourite moment of shooting because there was an immediate welcoming atmosphere and everyone was lovely and in love with the production.

Disposable Demon is like a permanent intern, running errands for the higher ups in Hell.

His favourite part of the costume were the eyelashes (though he loved the whole costume).

If he could change anything about the costume he would also want cool contact lenses - some brightly coloured ones.

Question what animal (like other demons have on their heads) comes to mind when we see the Disposable Demon: he didn’t think about it at the time, but later he saw people talking about his horns as bunny ears and found it interesting, and also the facts that there are so many of him and that he is quite happy and friendly for a demon so the bunny makes sense, so he might be a sort of a rabbit. Or perhaps something goat type because of the horns.

Question if there is another role in Good Omens he would have liked to have played: he always thought that the four horsemen were very cool and Pollution was his favourite so probably Pollution (also was the most jealous of Pollution’s contact lenses). 

If there were a season 2, he would be there in a heartbeat.

Question about Eric’s feelings on Crowley, if he’s a bit of a Crowley fan: I think he might be. There is something about Crowley and how he is somehow a little bit different from the rest of the demons. - and the Disposable Demon has, much like Crowley, interest in the human world. He could well be 6,000 how many years old, the same as everyone else, but he seems to have this younger vibe and I think he thinks that Crowley is quite cool.

Good Omens fandom is his first experience with a fandom of this scale. It speaks a lot, the fact that this kind of very, this minor character, a character who is only on screen for a very short amount of time gets any kind of attention at all, it's quite amazing really, it goes to show how big and enthusiastic the fans are. I never experienced anything like that.

6. Jeremy Marshall-Roberts (the owner of Mary the Bentley)

When Crowley used a miracle to switch off the Bentley lights in Episode 1 at nuns manor it was done by: there was actually a very small guy called Louis turning on and off the switches quickly.

David Tennant was allowed to wear the snake eye contacts for only 3 hours a day otherwise they could damage his eyesight.

For Mary, the Bentley, it was the second time she was ‘blown up’ on film - first being in the Endeavour with Inspector Morse about three years earlier.

He was a bit nervous during filming the bookshop fire scene because the Bentley was so close to a real fire - not wanting the paint to blister. The car was moved off after a few minutes of filming but still.

About the damage to Mary: Unfortunately, we overran, and Rob my stunt driver had already booked a holiday and off he went and so when he returned in January, on the 10th of January, I had this new driver who really had no clue how to drive old cars, so I showed him around, I showed him to go around corners. He came around the corner, the door was not closed properly for some reason and the door flew open as he went around. And instead of slamming on the brakes which is extremely efficient and would stop him straight away he kept on going, hit another car and really smashed the door quite badly. It did take the car off the roads for 10 months. The door was completely remade because of this accident and it cost the total of  £24 000 to rebuild the car to get it back to running as it is today.

The Bentley’s part most difficult to maintain and service is the engine. 

Would Mary be available for a potential season 2: definitely!

[orangezinnia]

seeing as Ashes's birthday is tomorrow, i thought i'd compile my favorite (clickbait youtuber vc) Top 5 Ashes Lore Momence

1) the cake is a lie! my personal headcanon is that the cakes aren't theirs, or even that anything is wrong with the cakes- it's just the 40 cakes that the Toy Soldier stole (as per some old tweet), and they are desperately trying to free up some space in the Storage Bays

[ID: A cropped screenshot from The Mechanisms's old TV Tropes page, reading "Ashes O'Reilly: Former mobster and the crew's Quartermaster. Ashes provides the band with bass guitar and silent judging. Also, cake (although none of the band seem to have been adventurous enough to try it)." /end ID]

2) this is probably obvious, but i forgot that Ashes actually burned down their orphanage Before getting the rest of Malone post-mechanization! which means they really Are outdoing Jonny's backstory at every turn

And for a minute – for a moment brief enough to forget and remember at the same time, this kid could remember what it was like; forever that tasted like the scent of burnt hair on the back of your hand and looked like charred rubble where an orphanage used to be.

3) four (4) different wanted posters for no discernable reason, only one (1) of which is visually different!

[ID: A screenshot of the page code from the wayback version of Ashes's crew page. Four distinct image titles can be seen, the first named "ashes-wanted-poster3", and the next ones the same, though ending in "poster2", "poster1", and "poster" respectively, before the first version is shown again at the bottom. /end ID]

4) this isn't exactly obscure, but considering the vague or dubious nature of the other mech's acceptance on their mechanization, Ashes is the only person to choose immortality with full awareness and willingness!

"I’m told I had a good heart, but the Doc dealt with that after the whole patricide thing." - "The girl frowns slightly, grimaces, moves her head as if to shake it, or nod." - "when a woman stood over her and offered her eternity / and in the dark she felt hands on her, and the pain swelled to swallow her" - "she picked him up when all that remained functioning was the heart" (and we don't have anything definite on Tim or Raph's acceptance, and not Marius yet)

compared to Ashes-

"-some tired looking goth dropped out of the sky and offered up immortality on a plate." / "It wasn’t a joke, no sir, but the kid laughed. Full and loud – this wasn’t how they expected to end things in this dusty little corner of the galaxy, but who could resist that offer? "Alright then. Show me what you got.""

5) they need to even out their job as dispute-settling Quartermaster by creating an equal amount of chaos!

[ID: A series of 3 tweets, all made by The Mechanisms, @TheMechanisms. The first tweet is dated March 21st, 2013, reading: Please note: there will be no autotune in the final album recording. Do not listen to Ashes. -JdV

The second is dated September 21st, 2011, reading: //on't touch that thing, Ashes! It activates all the frequency tranmi//

The final tweet is dated May 30th, 2012, reading: Just installed a new control panel on the Aurora. Looks lovely, all shiny dials and blinking lights. I give it a day before Ashes breaks it. /end ID]

aaand that's all! remember to crush that like button and pummel that subscribe button and ring that bell and whisper a tremulous "happy birthday" to the night sky on Monday!

[natromanxoff]

Mercury Roadrunner's Interview about Freddie Mercury with Peter Freestone – Part II

Thanks very much to Mercury Roadrunner (Pavel Strashnyy) for letting me share his amazing interviews! Originally shared here.

Check the tag "MR interview with Phoebe" to see the other parts. Here are the 3 main topics of this interview, beginning of each topic is written in bold:

1. Language skills

2. Music videos, Garden Lodge

3. Celebrity friends, leg damage story, Joe Fanelli, relationship between band members, Freddie's last days

PS: So here is our second part and the first topic is about Freddie’s language skills:

Did he actually know only the English language or did he also know the Gujarati language or any other languages?

PF: When his parents were in Garden Lodge or if he called his mother on the telephone, he only spoke English. I suppose, he must have understood Gujarati, because, okay, in the school he was taught English, but before the school, when he was in Zanzibar and he would have been with is parents, so I would have thought they would have been speaking in Gujarati.

He had about twenty words of German after living in Munich for so many years. He couldn’t speak German, but I think he understood the language, if he was paying attention, because most of the people around him were talking English, so he never really had the need to learn German. Although, saying that, one of his partners, Winnie, was German and did not speak a lot of English, but then he had Barbara to do the translating.

PS: The second topic is about a very special song “Mad The Swine”, which was recorded in 1972, but was released only in 1991 as a B side of “Headlong” single. Why, after so many years, Freddie decided to come back to it and release it?

PF: Freddie knew that “Innuendo” was going to be his last complete album and I think that this song had a special place in his heart, there were something about it, and as far as he was concerned, it never got an airing he felt it deserved and the rest of the band was happy to put it on.

PS: I mentioned the “Headlong” song and you can be seen in some archival footage of making of the “Headlong” video, you help to lay the Queen members on the shelves. What are your memories about that day?

PF: I was just there to help them. When they are making a video, they don’t need someone to take care of costumes, because there is a costume person, there is a makeup person, everybody is there to do something. And so I was there for Freddie, looking after him, and it just seemed natural to help out. And the band would feel more comfortable if that was someone that they know who would help to put them on the shelves rather than some technician turning up and trying to do it. And this moment with selves wasn’t’ planned. That wasn’t in the storyboard, it’s just that they saw it, there were four shelves so they just thought “Well, why not? Let’s do something crazy”. And the idea must have come from the band member, because Rudi would have seen all the possibilities when he was checking out where they were going to be doing the filming, and if he had thought of using the shelves, that would be one of the ideas put in the beginning.

PS: There are also some parts where we can see you in “The Great Pretender Extended Version” video - can you remember anything about it?

PF: It was just a big long laugh. There is not one part of the making of the actual scenes that they are not laughing and smiling. Roger, Peter and Freddie – they just clicked, it all worked. Nobody had to be bigger than the next one, nobody had to take the spotlight, and they just were there, having a good time.

PS: What is your personal favourite memory from that day?

PF: Personally, for me it is watching the recording of the six girls –you know, both of the backing group were girls, they were wearing two different outfits – and watching the recordings, when they were recording the one group of three and then the other group of three, the costumes they got in to and what they did – you couldn’t help but feel really-really happy. They were actually standing on the same platform when they were recorded. And then, of course, they used computer graphics to put two different groups on the screen at the same time. Just watching three of them there on the platform, waving their hands goodbye, it brings back the memories of those groups of backing singers in the sixties.

PS: What are your memories of making of the “Breakthru” video?

PF: I remember that it was probably the hottest night of the year, no sleep, because it was just so hot and humid. They had a huge problem with the opening scene, and they shot that last in fact. But they had a huge problem because when the engine went into the tunnel it caused air pressure so that that polystyrene wall burst out a long time before the engine arrived. So they tried it earlier on and that’s when they found that that’s what happened, and then they had to do playing around with it during the day, there was people doing that while the rest of the filming was going on, and then they had to sort of re-do it and it was the last shot. And the engine was actually already in the tunnel before it started getting up a bit of speed. And it wasn’t going as fast as people think it does, so that it looked right. It was a fun day. Only the band and the actual film crew were allowed on the flatbed, where the band were performing, because of the way it was being filmed, you could easily be in shot, so the less people that were there – the better. John was having a ball, I remember him laughing a lot, he was enjoying himself. And there was a normal carriage, like a dining car, but old, 1930-1940s, and that was where we would have food and drink. And it was wonderful. It’s a working old train line, it’s a tourist thing, but it’s great, it’s really-really nice and it’s not that far away from London. And Freddie was enjoying the shooting. I was surprised when I saw what he was doing on that flatbed, he was leaning over the edge as the train was going along, but again, it looks faster than it was. It really was only going at about 25-30 kilometers an hour. But it’s made to look as though they are speeding along.

PS: And what was the very first Queen video you were presented on?

PF: The very first video that I was involved with was “Save Me”, because it was shot during two shows of the “Crazy Tour”, I think it was at “The Rainbow” and it was shot at “Alexandra Palace”. Because it was the mix of the live action, the cartoon girl, the bird – and that was the hardest thing – to get Freddie to almost catch the bird, the pigeon. They had to re-film it for about 15 times. And it was where David Mallet, the director, fell of the stage into the orchestra pit. Everybody panicked for a few minutes, but then he stuck his head up “Oh, I’m alright”. It was about 2-3 meters he felled. And then followed all the post-production with the girl, with the cartoon, and how they blended the live pigeon to become the cartoon one and all that sort of work – all of it was done afterwards and it was done before Christmas 1979.

PS: And what was the very last Queen video you were presented on?

PF: “I’m Going Slightly Mad” video. I remember the penguin on the couch moment. Actually most of all I remember the way Diana was with Freddie, because she just took such a good care of him, she had special thermal underwear made for Freddie, because right from my meeting with Freddie in 1979 I remember the easiest thing for Freddie was to feel cold. And it only got worse the more sick he got. And she had special thermal underwear made for him that went underneath the shirt and the suit. She just was there for him all the time and it was just wonderful to see.

PS: And did Freddie usually have cold hands or he had normal temperature of hands?

PF: He could have normal warm hands, but often they would be cold. So maybe he could have a blood circulation problem.

PS: Can you remember something about the shooting of “I Want It All” video?

PF: I don’t think I was at that one, because that would have been Joe, Joe Fanelli would have been there, because we sort of took in turns – he would go to one, I would not, I’ll do all the stuff at home, then I would go to one and he would stay at home.

PS: And it was also the same for you take the turns in concerts?

PF: No, I was on tours with Freddie from 1979 till 1985 and then Joe took over from the last part of 1985 and 1986.

PS: And why you stopped going on tours and Joe took that part?

PF: Because Garden Lodge had been completed and to keep the insurance cover someone had to be living there, so I got to live there. I moved in six months before Freddie did. And Freddie moved in in the middle-end 1985. Because what we did was – Freddie was at Mary’s home and Terry and I took Oscar and Tiffany away from Stafford Terrace. Because Freddie was supposed to move in and he kept putting it off again and again, he said “I’ll do it tomorrow”, “I’ll do it at the weekend”, there was always a reason, an excuse, so what Terry and I did – we went and kidnapped Oscar and Tiffany and took them to Garden Lodge. And then, when Freddie went home and he was looking for the cats, Terry said: “No, they are not here, they are at your other home” – and Freddie moved within two days.

PS: And what was it like living with Freddie in Garden Lodge? What are your first memories of start of living there?

PF: At that point I was living above the kitchen. Joe and I had rooms that were above the kitchen, just up those stairs. And it just felt strange just to be living in that house. The thing is, I’ve been living with Freddie for years, because whenever we were in hotels it was always a two bedroom suit, so I knew how he was, what he would do, what he needed in the morning, how the moods could change, that was all standard, that was all normal. The difference was being in the luxury of Garden Lodge, knowing that it was a house, not the hotel, and the fact that he had made us promise, both Joe and myself, that we would treat this place as our home. It wasn’t just work and somewhere to stay because of work – it was our home.

Some houses have energy, they have a feeling, and while Freddie was in Garden Lodge it was a really warm, friendly house.

PS: And the atmosphere in the house changed almost at the moment Freddie passed away, right?

PF: Literally. For me, while he was still alive, even in those last minutes, it was still the same house, but literally within minutes, while we were waiting for the doctor, it just became bricks and mortar, it just became somewhere to sleep, somewhere to live.

PS: You mentioned living together with Freddie in hotels, but do you remember living with Freddie in some flats or houses before Garden Lodge?

PF: We were living in his apartment in New York. The way it was set up there were two bedrooms, sitting room, dining room, kitchen, a maid’s room and a sort of TV room.

And later we lived together for six months in Los Angeles. Recording “The Works”. They rented the big house for Freddie. A nice house, big-big house. It belonged to a doctor, who just constantly rented it out to stars, who needed somewhere to stay while they were filming. Elizabeth Taylor apparently stayed there, George Hamilton was there, lots of different film stars used it. It was a big house in nice big gardens, it had a swimming pool, had a tennis court, you know, it all the things you need.

PS: And it was actually two of you living there together?

PF: Yeah, Freddie and me. And Terry was there too, to drive.

PS: And speaking of Freddie’s New York Times, can you actually remember what was his the most favourite part of the city?

PF: Most evenings he would end up down on Christopher street, which is down near Greenwich Village. Because there were bars around there, clubs around there, restaurants around there, everything was there in that area, in the West Village.

PS: Our next topic is about Freddie Mercury and George Michael; we can see them together at “Barcelona” album launch party and Queen 20th anniversary party – do you remember the interaction between them?

PF: They actually met up at Live Aid, after it finished. We had to stay in the bar, because there were absolutely no way any cars were going to get out of the stadium area, because of the traffic and everything. And that was the very first time that they actually met. Freddie admired him, he thought George had a great talent both in writing and in singing, but there was no special friendship, because Freddie didn’t create big friendships with other musicians. He preferred, so to say, normal people. And also he enjoyed actors and actresses, their company, more than other musicians, because the way he felt, most musicians just wanted to talk about music and he had many more interests. So, yes, if Freddie and George were in the same place, then yes, they would meet up and they would chat about what was going on in their lives, but most of it was always about work. Their conversations would always be like “what was the tour like” and they would laugh, because they would make jokes about what they had been doing. Freddie could make a joke out of any situation. He didn’t tell anecdotes as such, but he could see something and he could make a joke out of it.

PS: As you mentioned Freddie having friends among actors and actresses, could you remember some of them?

PF: Anita Dobson, Debby Bishop, Carol Wood, Pam Ferris, Susannah York. One he would like to have met and she lived literally just across the road, but it never came, was Diana Rigg. And he was incredibly happy when I gave him an autograph from Honor Blackman. I met her and I said “Could I have an autograph, please”, she says “yes, of course, who’s it for?” and I said “it’s just for my friend, Freddie”. And he was overjoyed with it and he kept it in his bedside drawer.

PS: And who was his favourite actors?

PF: Franco Nero, James Mason, Laurence Olivier. And he got to meet him, so that was another of Freddie’s absolute joys. Dave Clark took Freddie to dinner at Laurence Olivier’s house. It was when they were working on “The Time” musical.

PS: And it was actually very last Freddie’s live performance, can you remember something special about it?

PF: Yes, April 1988. I just thought how amazing it sounded. We all heard “In my defence” before, but when he did “it’s in every one of us” as a duet with Cliff that was absolutely amazing. We had goose bumps. And then after the performance we went to Cliff Richard’s dressing room, sitting and talking there.

PS: And you said that Freddie didn’t have many friends amongst musicians, but could you remember something special about Freddie and Elton John’s friendship?

PF: They first met back in 74/75, when Queen were managed by John Reid and in those days both of them were constantly touring so they could rarely meet up. But every now and then Queen would have just done the show and Elton would be performing the next day, so he was already in the hotel and we would meet up and go round, sitting in Elton’s room talking. And then for about a couple of years after Freddie’s diagnosis they didn’t see each other, but then Freddie told Elton about his status and for the last year and a half Elton would regularly come to Garden Lodge. And in Freddie’s last two weeks Elton would ring us, say what time he would arrive, so that he wouldn’t be seen arriving, he wouldn’t come through the front door, and we would let him in through the Mews in his mini, so nobody knew he was there. He had to go to Paris to record, so he gave me all of the numbers: hotel number, the studio number, his mobile number, his assistance’s mobile number, all the numbers, just to let him know when it happen, because he knew it was going to happen. And at the very last time he came to Garden Lodge, he drove in one of his Bentleys and parked it right outside the front door and the press were running over to him asking “why are you here?” and Elton just turned around and said “I’ve come to see my friend”. And that was it, he just came in and they sat and talked. And when Elton came, it was really just Freddie and him in the room, just talking.

PS: And what was the story about Freddie getting his leg damaged in Munich?

PF: Freddie, when he had a few drinks, he would pick people up, just lift them off the floor, to show how strong he was. So Freddie had picked someone up and then someone next to him bumped into his knee and the ligaments tore, because instead of the way it was supposed to bend the knee bend the other way. Freddie then dropped the person he was carrying, he was screaming in pain and we had to go and get it set. When Queen filmed “It’s A Hard Life” in the end of the video, you can see him favouring the leg.

PS: And as you mention “It’s A Hard Life” video, Freddie’s friend Barbara Valentin stars in this video and she was a star in films of Rainer Werner Fassbinder – did Freddie ever discuss his films with her?

PF: Yeah, because she had videos of them. Freddie did meet Fassbinder once. They were in the “Deutsche Eiche”, which was Fassbinder’s favourite restaurant, he was always in it in Munich. And Barbara would take Freddie there every now and then. So Barbara introduced them to each other, they talked a bit, but they were there for lunch, it wasn’t a planned meeting or anything like this.

PS: And what film directors Freddie admired?

PF: Vincente Minnelli, George Cukor, the directors of the 40’s-50’s.

PS: What are your memories of Joe Fanelli?

PF: He was American. The first time I met him his relationship with Freddie was just finishing, this was in 1979. But he stayed in London and worked a lot in London. He was working in different restaurants. He was an amazing chef. And they kept in touch over the years and that’s why when Garden Lodge was finished and someone had to be there, that’s when Freddie thought to bring Joe back. And it worked, because Joe used to go to the gym all the time and he was taking care of himself, which he didn’t do so much when he was with Freddie. He was great. He was amazing on the computer. Computers were just starting, but Joe could write programs and things. Freddie’s favourite programme on television was “Countdown”, which is where they pick out seven letters and you have to make the longest word you possibly can out of those seven letters and then there’s also the numbers thing as well – and Joe created that on the computer for Freddie so that he didn’t wait for it just on the TV. He was fun, and he was good; it was good working with him and most of the time we just got on so well. Garden Lodge would not have been the same without him.

PS: And you mentioned Joe programming “Countdown” for Freddie so Freddie could actually play this game on computer?

PF: Well, no, he couldn’t, but he could sit there and Joe would do the computer. The computer was bought by Freddie for Garden Lodge and it was set upstairs on the musician’s gallery in the big sitting room.

PS: How would you describe the relationship between Freddie and other Queen members?

PF: They were all close to each other, but in a different ways.

Freddie was close with John. John was the new boy, he was the last one to join, he was the youngest, and Freddie just felt protective. He wanted to protect him a little bit for the dangers of rock’n’roll. But then John got married, had Veronica, so he had the security of home, and John was not around Freddie as much, but it didn’t stop the friendship because of what happened at the end. John just decided to finish because Freddie wasn’t there anymore.

With Roger it was a different friendship. And a very good friendship, because both of them had similar personality trait, they both enjoyed a good drink; they both enjoyed a good party.

And with Brian, of course, they were friends, but Brian was much more serious and Freddie was much more of a laughing person than Brian. Brian thought about things so much. But Freddie knew that he would never find anyone better than Brian to help him with the music.

PS: We know that Brian and Roger visited Freddie in his last days, but we never heard of John visiting Freddie.

PF: I don’t think John was prepared to see Freddie looking like he did in the last days, but John came and visited Freddie before those last two weeks. I know that he did come to the house, but I don’t think he could accept seeing Freddie the way he was in those last weeks.

PS: Freddie started to get a lot worse in those last two weeks?

PF: For the last two weeks Freddie hardly ate, he hardly drank. He was taking no drugs that were keeping him alive anymore, he was taking painkillers, and that was it.

PS: What was the reason of Freddie’s last visit to Montreux?

PF: He just wanted to get away from London. He wanted to have a little bit of peace and quiet away from all the press. He had that apartment in Montreux, so he went there.

For the last two-three years of his life he would be there every other month for a couple of weeks. There was no feeling of “this is the last time I’m going to Montreux”, that wasn’t part of his mentality, he only decided that this was the last visit when I called him, because I wasn’t with him, Jim, Joe and Terry were with him at that time, I was in Garden Lodge and I rang him and I said: “Look, just so that you are aware when you come home, that there are press outside the house 24 hours a day. In the nighttime it’s down to about four or five and in the daytime it’s up to about twenty”.

And that’s when he decided that when he went into Garden Lodge, coming back from Switzerland, it would be the last time, because he knew that he would never be able to get out again.

PS: And how long was he there for the last time?

PF: For about two weeks.

PS: And how do you remember him when he came back?

PF: He was sort of happy, but he was a bit withdrawn, because he had made the decision that when he came into Garden Lodge, it would be the last time, that he would never leave it again. He already had decided that, so, of course, he was a little bit more thoughtful, more inward thinking rather than being laughing and all that. But still, even in those two last two weeks there were still times when he would laugh, because he never wanted sad people around him.

PS: What are your last memories of Freddie?

PF: Since he got back from Switzerland on the 10th, he basically stopped eating and drinking. He would have a little bit, but that’s it. So, of course, he was tired, he had no energy. Most of the time he had short sleeps, short sleep –wake up, short sleep – wake up.

In those last two weeks, except for his needs, the only other time Freddie left his room, was when Terry carried him downstairs, on the Wednesday, 20th of November, because he just wanted to look around the main room, he just wanted to have a last look at paintings, at the crystal. He just wanted to spend some more time in that huge room where he felt most comfortable.

The last week of Freddie’s life he was actually never alone, because between Joe, Jim and myself, we would spend twelve hours with him and there was always one of us with him. We did the shifts from eight in the evening till eight in the morning. The last time that I was with him was on the Friday night. And on that Friday night I got there just before eight o’clock. And, you have to remember, that at eight o’clock the statement was released to the world that Freddie had AIDS. The thing is, those hours I was with him, he was the most relaxed I had seen him in years, because there was no secret anymore, the whole world knew. And he would just talk about anything, he would be in bed, I would be sitting on the bed next to him and I would be just holding his hand. The television was on, just for some noise, he would talk and he would go to sleep and talk and go to sleep. And we talked about silly little things, nothing really serious, and nothing like “we knew everything was coming to an end”, there was none of that. He could still talk fine, his mind was together, he just was very-very tired.

But, I think, because the statement had been done, I think Freddie felt that it was time for him to go. Because it was coming up for eight o’clock and I think it was Joe coming in at that point, Joe was coming at eight, and I said to Freddie something like “Look, okay, I’m going now, Joe is going to be here, but, of course, I’ll see you, I’ll see you soon”, he said something like “uhum, yeah, yeah”.

And then he just took my hand, looked me straight in the eye and just said “Thank you”.

And I will never know, whether he already decided that we would never meet again and was thanking me for the last twelve years, or if he was just thanking me for the last twelve hours.

But I have a feeling that he already knew that we would not see each other again.

PS: Do you remember when you for the very first time understood that you are not just working with Freddie, but you are becoming friends?

PF: That really started from the very-very beginning, because we didn’t have to always talk to each other to know what he wanted. I understood him. Because of our similar upbringing in boarding school in India I knew why he reacted in some ways, why he did things, I knew it, it was just instinctive and it made everything very-very easy for him and for me. Maybe it became more intense when Freddie started the time out of Britain, because we were going to be together 24 hours a day, so you have to be friends. And for me, it was the easiest thing on earth to be friends with Freddie. I never thought about Freddie, The Superstar. I was thinking about Freddie, my friend.

SPECIAL THANKS TO VALUREX FOR CONTRIBUTION AND ASSISTENCE

[mx-misty-eyed]

A bunch of SAI livestream observations

I literally just copied and pasted the notes I took so I'm sorry if they make no sense.

Chronological notes:

-livestream starts by showing a birds-eye view of Dema and playing Good Day

-Tyler looks really depressed

-bishops (Sally/Sacarver and Dan/Lisden) introduce TOP as “the popular band, Twenty One Pilots” - trying to portray them as popular and likable to get more people to listen

-Sacarver says the dragon (Trash) is “kinda dark” - implies that Trash is good

-Tyler’s hair is “number 16 cotton candy” - further shows how Dema controls/catalogs everything

-“there’s not twenty one pilots, there’s only two guys!” - maybe it doesn’t mean anything but that phrase is *the* phrase that will piss off almost any clikkie

-bishops ask where Josh is and if he’s hiding, Sacarver says “come here, you little moron” - Josh isn’t with Dema because they don’t know where he is, plus they wouldn’t call him a moron if he was on their side

-Sacarver wants Tyler to play Stressed Out because she’s always stressed (due to working with Lisden) and because “it’s my favorite” - Stressed Out is the song that made TOP popular, she may be stressed due to working with Lisden because she’s the one that seems to want to escape Dema more, while he seems to buy into the message/concept of Dema more

-Tyler tunes out bishops and then starts singing Choker

-Bishops grab Tyler after Choker and force him onto another set, where Stressed Out plays.  Bishops stay onstage during Stressed Out - again, Stressed Out made TOP popular, which is what the bishops want

(okay i know the bishops are bad but that last image would make a badass computer wallpaper)

-Stressed Out fades into Migraine

-“thank God it’s Friday/because Fridays will always be better than Sundays” - probably doesn’t mean anything, but the livestream was on a Friday

-Josh counted for Tyler on “depressssssing”, but not verbally like in the studio version

-Migraine background has the psi symbol

-Migraine transitions into Morph, with a video of a crowd from the Trench era (Tyler interacts with the ‘crowd’ with a call and answer)

-Tyler doesn’t say “Josh Dun” in Morph

-Morph turns into Holding on to You (“entertain my faith” part) with a rain/lightning effect

-right before “lean with it rock with it”, there’s static and it cuts to the bishops who advertise SAI on the second set (blue/pink/yellow rainbow)

-“they just don’t play hits like this on the radio these days” - “this song will never be played on the radio” from Fairly Local

-after, a ‘commercial’ plays

-the first commercial has the black slipcase on the right and the blue slipcase on the left.  In the back, from left to right: cassette, three cd’s stacked on top of each other (white on top, pink in the middle, blue on the bottom), blue box (limited edition box set sold on their website), lyric booklet

-“Dema is bringing you this music collection that is vibrant with saturation” - the Twitter banner was slowly desaturated while in the process of announcing the album, ads for SAI said “feel the saturation!”

-Shy Away, Choker, and Mulberry Street are mentioned during the first ad - two out of three singles released before the album dropped and the most propaganda-like song

-After commercial, Tyler plays Mulberry Street - Lisden said it was his favorite (likely b/c it’s propaganda)

-Mulberry Street starts inside but Tyler goes outside to a street (Mulberry St.) with extras that are ‘frozen’ in place

-Mulberry Street was the whole song (or almost the whole song), while most songs played were only a small segment - again, it’s Dema’s propaganda, so they want it to go on longer than older songs

-after Mulberry Street, the intro to Lane Boy plays (“why do I kneel to these concepts?  Tempted by control, controlled by temptation.  Stay low, they say, stay low”)

-Lane Boy has people with gas masks in the background

-“Don’t trust a perfect person and don’t trust a song that’s flawless” is repeated several times - later, Sacarver calls the album “perfect”

-Lane Boy transitions into Redecorate

-Chlorine plays next, background has barrels like in music video

-“Running for my…” (Tyler himself doesn’t say the word “life”)

-After Chlorine, Shy Away plays with obviously fake snow/mountainous background.  Chandeliers are hanging and a fancy dining table is set

-Bishop commercial after Shy Away (“break the cycle in half”) plays, bishops have nosebleeds

-Sacarver says “nothing is missing from this collection”, yet SAI has 11 tracks while past albums have 14

-cd’s in front are swapped (black on left and blue on right), and the three cd’s are in a different order (pink on top, blue in the middle, white on the bottom)

-“But remember, you should-” *static* - bishops are likely being controlled by someone else, as it’s unlikely that the Banditos would have the power to cut them off

-Cuts to Mulberry St. set but darker (dusk/nighttime)

-The Outside plays next with Josh wearing skeleton hoodie - The Outside was mentioned in the commercial

-when water is poured on the street after The Outside, it forms a footprint

-Tyler sits in a boat named “Oh” with a lamp and an artificial night sky

-Plays Heathens with a ukulele (no frog croaks)

-transitions into Trees, which is normally the last song

-during Trees, the stars start to blur together (it looks like a timelapse of the North Star)

-Josh in Bandito clothing with a torch is shown (torch looks slightly different than in music vids), then it cuts to Jumpsuit

-Jumpsuit background is a valley like in the music video but it looks greener and more manufactured

-After, Heavydirtysoul plays with a flaming car on set (kinda like in the mv)

-Tyler looks upwards during “can you save my heavydirtysoul?”, looks like he’s pleading (sorry the last pic is so blurry(face))

-background is a road similar to the one in the music video

-Josh keeps crossing his drumsticks during HDS

-Commercial break with hosts (bloody and Sacarver has overexaggerated makeup, plus they have yellow eyes)

-“Now that you’ve heard some of this collection, you must be just like us”

-”Sometimes I close my eyes to try to escape, I just can’t believe how unbelievably perfect this collection is!”  “You know you can’t escape, Sally.”  “Yes, I know.”

-”We’ve come for you”, “We got people on the way, no chances” - “We come for you, no chances”, “We got people on the way” (lyrics from No Chances (which they didn’t play))

-Commercial zooms out to show that it’s on a TV with Tyler, Josh, and others watching - we don’t believe what’s on TV

-Saturday plays, during Jenna dialogue, Jenna has a pink streak in her hair and her top is half-blue, half-white

-Jenna has a yellow phone (Trench) while Tyler has a red one (Dema)

-stutter/pause between “might get” and “loud” happened twice, not just once

-after, they dance onto another set and play Level of Concern

-LOC background looked kind of like Josh’s in the music video (glow in the dark stars against a dark background)

-“In a world where this is as good as it gets, and we miss you, we really do”

-Fades into Ride, background is pink scales and what looks like sideways palm trees?

-Car Radio plays, Josh and Tyler are wearing black masks instead of white ones

-pause after “I liked it better when my car had sound”

-right after Car Radio, an alarm sounds and red lights flash, people run around in the background as Tyler walks onto Mulberry St. set

-Never Take It plays, Tyler comes up close to the camera (almost like in LOC music vid)

-Heavydirtysoul car is on fire to the right of the set

-Trash figurine is on the ground, it looks larger than usual

-Tyler walks back to first set and sits between bishops, who are frozen, and sings “I know it’s over/I was born a choker/nobody’s coming for me” from Choker

-fades out and cuts to bird’s-eye view of the set with crew members clapping and cheering, although even that feels subdued and fake

-shows Josh and Tyler with bishops in background, then credits roll

Various observations:

-Josh’s drumsticks are yellow - furthers concept that he’s against Dema

-SAI songs were generally played longer than older songs

-Bishops call it a “collection”, not an “album”

-Guitarists/trumpet player have one of Tyler’s tattoos on shirt

-Tyler has a pink ring and a blue ring on his left ring and index fingers, respectively (Shy Away music vid)

-various easter eggs on Mulberry St. set (sorry for the quality/size of the pictures)

(says “Rosie’s lounge)

-The door numbers on the Mulberry St. set coincide with the dmaorg.info error message numbers (at the bottom of the message)

-Josh’s bandito mask looks different (has a design on it that looks like a lion?) (unless I’m dumb and it was always like that)

-FPE: the Few the Proud the Emotional (Blurryface), Failed Perimeter Escape (Trench), now Food Petrol Etc (SAI)

-Tyler looks less energetic when singing SAI songs (because it’s Dema propaganda)

-after the show, instrumental versions of The Hype, We Don’t Believe What’s on TV, and Doubt were played.  WDBWOTV is obvious, The Hype has the lyric “just don’t believe the hype”, and Doubt has the lyric “gnawing on the bishops”

-in the Q&A, they said Josh would backflip off the piano, but he didn’t.  They also didn’t do the deathdrop (thing where Tyler just kinda falls backwards)

-Stream was exactly one hour long (started at 8 PM EST, ended at 9 PM EST)

-The livestream ad doesn’t have a crossed O in the only of “one night only”

Josh’s drum set designs:

Trash:

Alien:

Psi symbol 1:

Psi symbol 2:

FULL SONG LIST:

[song number]. [song title] - [album] ([design on Josh’s drum]): [additional notes]

Asterisks indicate songs that transition into each other smoothly

Good Day - SAI (Josh not present): not sang by Tyler (live, that is)

*Choker - SAI (Trash)

Stressed Out - Blurryface (alien)

Migraine - Vessel (alien)

Morph - Trench (alien)

Holding on to You - RATB/Vessel (alien)*

[Dema commercial 1]

Mulberry Street - SAI (Trash)

*Lane Boy - Blurryface (alien)

Redecorate - SAI (alien)

Chlorine - Trench (alien)*

Shy Away - SAI (Psi Symbol 1)

[Dema commercial 2]

The Outside - SAI (Trash)

*Heathens - Suicide Squad soundtrack (Josh not present)

Trees - RATB/Vessel (Josh not present): usually played at end of concert)

[Josh as a Bandito]

*Jumpsuit - Trench (alien)

Heavydirtysoul - Blurryface (alien)*

[Dema commercial 3]

Saturday - SAI (Psi Symbol 2)

*Level of Concern - single (alien)

Ride - Blurryface (alien)

Car Radio - RATB/Vessel (alien)*

[alarm sounds]

Never Take It - SAI (Trash)

Anyways, thats all I have for now but if I missed anything, let me know and I’ll add it!  (I’ll be sure to credit you ofc)

-Admin Crow

[rebelsofshield]

Star Wars Andor: “Aldhani”-Review

Andor takes its first steps into a larger world with an episode filled with intrigue and paranoia.

(Review contains episode spoilers)

Just shortly after blasting their way out of Ferrix, Luthen Rael clues Cassian in on his new role in the galaxy. Fight and steal from the Empire. And get paid. His first job? Assist a small band of freedom fighters on Aldhani in robbing a local Imperial base of its quarterly payroll. Meanwhile, on Coruscant, Luthen makes contact with his contact in the Senate, Mon Mothma, and the survivors of the failed Pre-Mor operation on Ferrix face consequences.

There was a part of me that was a little sad when I realized that we would be leaving the world of Ferrix behind this episode. This beautifully realized backwater planet and its population of every day people was such a highlight in Andor’s first three episodes that it was hard not to worry that the series would lose some of its spark as its focus became slightly more galactic. And while yes I still miss Bix, B2EMO, and the gang, “Aldhani” proves that Andor can not only handle more than one intriguing plot line, but multiple locales as well.

For a show that takes its name after a single character, Andor’s focus feels surprisingly sprawling. While marketing teased that the series would be an ensemble narrative, it’s truly impressive just how wide a net Tony Gilroy and his team have cast just four episodes in. And, yes, despite it all, these characters still manage to feel more human and accessible than few others in recent Star Wars media.

If there’s anything that “Aldhani” truly excels in, it’s creating a sense of paranoia. In a world marked by ever growing totalitarian power even supposed allies cannot fully trust one another. This is starkly felt in each of the Andor’s different storylines this week, but maybe most acutely in Luthen’s attempts to pair Cassian with the freedom fighters of Aldhani. It’s hard not to sympathize with cell leader Vel Sartha (Faye Marsay) when Luthen drops a stranger who is essentially a mercenary on her lap. We know, or at least I think we know, that Cassian is reliable, but to Vel and her ragtag group of allies, there’s little real reassurance outside of the word of a strange man on a strange ship.

And speaking of him, we finally start to get a larger sense of Luthen this week. Whether it be his modded out starship or his costumes of elaborate wigs and jewelry, Stellan Skarsgård really begins to peal back the layers of this galactic changemaker and what’s hiding underneath is beyond intriguing. I loved getting to see his highend gallery/store front of galactic antiquities not just because of the bevy of easter eggs it offers (Starkiller! World Between Worlds! Indiana Jones!) but for the creative way Luthen’s respect for galactic history is also made into the perfect cover for clandestine meetings with high ranking members of the Imperial government like Mon Mothma. We’ve know that Genevieve O’Reilly’s take on the iconic rebel leader was going to be one of the few legacy characters to appear in Andor and it’s nice to see Gilroy and crew create a new more anxious version of the character. This is far from the well spoken and principled freedom fighter we glimpsed in Rebels or Return of the Jedi, this is a politician who is deep in a den of snakes and trying her best to do good but also survive a fascist panopticon.

And honestly, things aren’t going that much better over on the side of the Empire. We thankfully get to see more of Karn this week and there is a certain schadenfreude in seeing this smug and overconfident cop get literally sent packing home to his mother, but there are other more intriguing developments at play too. In a smart counter to Luthen’s spy games, we also wander deep into the bowels of The Imperial Security Bureau as well. In particular, we are introduced to Dedra Meero (Denise Gough). Like Karn, Dedra is another ambitious cog in the Imperial machine that is eager to gain power and influence. Unlike the bumbling Pre-Mor operatives, Dedra does have the skills and insights to back up her drive, but her grabs at power are frequently rebuffed with skepticism by superiors and fellow officers. There’s a quiet air of misogyny in how Dedra’s place at the ISB table is regarded and it hints to the general patriarchal values of fascist symptoms. Luckily, Andor doesn’t seem interested in redeeming or justifying Dedra. It’s a smarter show than that. Willing to recognize that those working to prop up oppressive governments can themselves be subject to the prejudices of the system they work for.

Andor still does struggle in episodic storytelling. While I certainly didn’t leave today’s episode dissatisfied, I am still not entirely sure how cohesive of an hour of television “Aldhani” is. We get a smattering of new storylines and see characters move forward on some of their respective story arcs, but like it did in both “Kassa” and “That Would Be Me” Andor once again just sort of stops. The closing doesn’t even really come off as a concluding shot or line of dialogue. It really does just feel like an arbitrary cut thrown in to space out a longer, multi part narrative. It’s a minor problem, but it does seem like an issue that Andor is going to be struggling with throughout its first season.

In terms of production design, Andor continues to excel. While it may not have the crowded lived in quality of Ferrix, Andhali is another impressive locale for a series that continues to make the Star Wars galaxy feel closer and more grounded than ever. The Scottish Highlands are the sort of environment that is just exotic enough to feel like it could be otherworldly while still allowing the cast and crew the ability to shoot on location. More impressive is our first real live action visit to Coruscant in more than a decade. A planet that was previously defined by architecture that blended Grecco-Roman design with a 1950’s retro color palette, the galactic capital has now morphed into a stark, brutalist metropolis that is marked by tight corners and sterile hallways. It’s a great bit of visual storytelling that once again shows in an easy naturalistic way, just how far the fascist takeover of the Empire has stretched.

Even as Andor may start to feel a tad overstretched, it still remains a fascinating and intriguing story. It can create thrills without a single fired blaster and spectacle without sweeping space battles. It’s a series that despite some of its stumbles still outshines pretty much all of its contemporaries and I can’t wait to see it continue.

Score: B+

[miserablesme]

The Les Miserables Changelog Part 1: Barbican Previews

Hello everyone! I'm starting out a blog which will look at my favorite musical, Les Miserables, and will discuss the various changes it has gone through over time (musically and lyrically). As it turns out, a LOT of edits have been made over the years so this will doubtless be a series with several parts.

This first part may well be the most difficult and will almost certainly be the most incomplete, as previews can be a time of extensive editing and experimentation. At least for the first few weeks or so, it's perfectly possible any one day of previews will be slightly different than any other day. However, I only have access to two audios from the Barbican Theatre previews of Les Miserables, meaning it's likely that lyrical variants exist which I have no way of hearing.

I am aware of the existence of a third audio which is fairly early in the run of previews, as the tape's master has told me that Gavroche's death scene is in its original form (I'll clarify that later). However, that tape has never been traded, and has sadly only been listened to by its master. I am also aware of a video proshot of the Barbican era that exists in the Royal Shakespeare Company library, but currently have no access to it. I plan to inquire about whether I can look at it sometime (though I'm not sure a blog like this is "official" enough to warrant it for research purposes). As such, this comparison only entails the two widely circulated audios from the Barbican run.

Now that we've gotten that cleared up, let's get started!

First, let's look at the opening "Work Song". In the earlier recording I have (let's call it R1), the beginning music (the same tune used, for instance, at the opening of "At the End of the Day" and "One Day More" and for Marius and Cosette's meeting in "The Robbery") stops. Then, a few moments later, the more familiar opening that leads directly into the prologue begins. By the time of the later recording I have (let's call it R2), the scores have been combined so that the first tune directly transitions into the second one.

Meanwhile, in R1 there is a sequence of lines that goes as follows:

I've done no wrong

Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer

Look down, look down

Sweet Jesus doesn't care

I killed a man

He tried to steal my wife

Look down, look down

She wasn't worth your life

I know she'll wait

I know that she'll be true

Look down, look down

She's long forgotten you

Most fans of the musical recognize the middle sequence of lines ("I killed a man" through "She wasn't worth your life") as no longer being lines in the show (for good reason, as we'll get into in a later edition of this blog). However, R2 keeps the lines. Instead, it deletes the third sequence ("I know she'll wait" through "She's long forgotten you"). I have no idea if this lasted only a few performances or made it all the way to the end of the Barbican run, or somewhere in between.

During "On Parole", specifically after Valjean is underpaid for his labor and sings about his frustration, R1 uses a variation of the "Work Song" theme which, to my recollection, is heard nowhere else in the musical. It can be heard here. By R2, it was switched to an in-tune version of the number with a unique opening. The musical retains that version to this day, but in case you can't recall it you can hear it here.

Minus an unintentional line flub in "At the End of the Day" in R2, the two Barbican recordings seem to use the same libretto and score from this point until "The Runaway Cart". At this point, R1 has a rather extensive scene leading up to Valjean saving Fauchelevent, which goes approximately as follows (the dialog is difficult to make out):

(VALJEAN)

Is there anyone here who will rescue the man?

Who will help me to shoulder the weight of the cart?

I will pay any man thirty louis d’or more

I will do it myself if there’s no one who will

We can’t let him die like that down in the street

Can you all watch him die and do nothing at all?

(FAUCHELEVENT)

Don’t approach me, Monsieur Mayor

The cart’s not gonna be holding

Not my poor mother would care if I should die

(TOWNSPEOPLE)

Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor

There's nothing at all you can do

The old man's a goner for sure

Leave him alone

Most of that dialog is deleted in R2, so that it goes directly from "Who will help me to shoulder the weight of the cart" to "Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor". I really like the idea of the original version; it seems reasonable that Valjean, having become a more trusted man, would expect the townspeople to help him. It's more meaningful that Valjean is good enough to do what's right when there's more time to establish that no one else is. Having said that, the original version did take quite a while and didn't really contain any relevant information that wasn't in the final version. I think the cut version as heard in R2 is a good compromise and retains the general mood and pacing to make Valjean's ultimate action satisfying (something that can't be said of later cuts, as will be discussed in a future edition of this blog).

Additionally, at the end of the number Javert refers to "the mark upon his skin" in R1 and "the brand upon his skin in R2 (as well as literally every subsequent performance since then to my knowledge). I have no idea if the "mark" line was a minor flub or was actually the original lyric.

"Who Am I?" is an interesting one. The musical content is identical in R1 and R2, but in R1 after his high note, Valjean shouts "You know where to find me!" with emotion so dramatic it sits right on the border between awesome and campy. By contrast, Valjean is totally silent after his high note in R2. Neither version would see its final day just yet, although the latter certainly has become more traditional over time. More on that in future editions.

From this point until "Master of the House" everything is the same between the two recordings. Roger Allam even comes in slightly late in both "Confrontation" scenes (making his line "-jean, at last...")! However, in the opening to "Master of the House" the following lines occur in R1:

(THENARDIER)

My band of soaks, my den of dissolutes

My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts

My sons of whores

Spend their lives in my inn

Homing pigeons flying in

They fly through my doors

And their money's good as yours

(CUSTOMERS)

Ain't got a clue what he put into his stew

Must've scraped it off the street

Hell, what a wine

Châteauneuf de Turpentine

Must've pressed it with his feet

Landlord over here

Where's the bloody man

One more for the road

One more slug of gin

Just one more or my old man is gonna do me in

All of those lines would be scrapped in R2. Personally I prefer this shortened variant than the one that would occur much later. Sure, some fun moments get lost, but nothing that actually adds any substance or characterization to the musical (unlike the later cut, which I'll discuss in a later edition of this blog). Some have speculated that this is simply lost dialog due to a tape flip of degrading, given that future performances would retain those lines. However, there is firsthand confirmation that the cuts were in fact part of the performance. To quote Trevor Nunn on page 87 of 1990's The Complete Book of Les Miserables (a page which elaborates that "the cost of overtime incurred after three hours could be crippling at a time when Les Miserables was still trying to find an audience"):

"Cameron wanted major cuts, which would have reduced its length to two and a half hours. I resisted, refusing to discuss things on those terms... Some of the other proposed cuts - like the removal of the "Master of the House" scene-setting preamble - were tried out in previews and then restored as the scenes would not work without them."

From a historical perspective that quote is invaluable. As will be brought up in a later blog post (notice a pattern today?) the musical would in fact be cut much later to avoid overtime charges. When people like myself have expressed the opinion that these cuts come at the expense of artistic integrity, I've seen others defend them by claiming that the overtime costs never were relevant to Cameron and the gang until Broadway sales began to go down, and that if they were taken into account the musical may well be in its shortened form from the beginning. However, this quote proves that argument to be false. Right from day one, the crew was aware that retaining a >3 hour runtime would come with severe financial costs, but this was deemed a worthy sacrifice in order to tell the story they wanted told. Indeed, it sounds like Cameron Mackintosh was waiting quite some time to enact his infamous cuts! (Cameron Mackintosh valuing profit above art?! Crazy, right??)

But I digress. Going back to the musical, the "Waltz of Treachery" number is mostly the same. However, after Valjean's "It won't take you too long to forget" line, R1 has over a minute of wordless vamping which leads right into the rather awkwardly-placed "Stars" song. By contrast, in R2 this vamping (which is still a minute long, mind you) leads into a humming duet between Little Cosette and Valjean, similar to the duet right before the number. A nice little bookend that makes the scene feel all the more resolved. (Much later this duet reprise would ironically be scrapped again, though!) The remaining segment of R1's vamping now plays after this sequence in R2.

Minus some unintentional missed lines at the beginning of "Stars" in R1, the recordings seem to follow the same libretto right up until "One Day More". Here, R1 uses the following lines:

(EPONINE)

One more day with him not caring

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

Was there ever love so true?

(EPONINE)

What a life I might have known

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

I was born to be with you

However, by R2 this scene is in its current form:

(EPONINE)

One more day with him not caring

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

I was born to be with you

(EPONINE)

What a life I might have known

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

And I swear I will be true

And that closes act one! Going on to the second act, the opening barricade scene has a few changes. First off, following the opening notes, R1 features a rather odd tune bearing resemblance to "Do You Hear the People Sing" (which can be heard here) before transitioning to a more true-to-form instrumental reprise of "Do You Hear the People Sing?" By contrast, R2 goes straight from the opening notes to the true-to-form reprise.

Next, Enjolras proclaims "Have faith in yourself and do not be afraid" in R1, while in R2 he instead states "Every man to his duty and don't be afraid". It's unknown if this was an intentional libretto change or if it simply reflects a flub during R1. A later sequence uses the "Have faith in yourself" line, meaning he may have just sung the wrong line for that particular scene.

Finally, R1 includes the following sequence (at least I think this is how it goes, since the lyrics are a little hard to hear):

(PROUVAIRE)

And the people will fight

(GRANTAIRE)

And join with you

Who gives a speech in the square

Fortunately, R2 uses a much less clunky (though still somewhat so) sequence:

(PROUVAIRE)

And the people will fight

(GRANTAIRE)

And so they might

Some will bark, some will bite

This isn't quite its current form ("dogs" and "fleas" will soon respectively replace the two usages of "some"), but it's pretty darn close.

I've heard that the very first Barbican preview(s?) didn't have a finalized opening to "On My Own". Sadly there is no known audio record of this, so I cannot comment on what exactly it began as. As such, the next major change takes place during Gavroche's death scene. This honestly is probably the biggest of all the changes between the two recordings. R1 uses the following death scene (in the tune of "Look Down" right up until the "So never kick a dog" verse, which is in the tune of "Little People"):

How do you do, my name’s Gavroche

These are my people, here’s my patch

Not much to look at, nothing posh

Nothing that you’d call up to scratch

Some fool, I bet, whose brains are made of fat

Picks up a gun and shoots me down

Nobody told him who he’s shooting at

He doesn’t know who runs this town

Life’s like that

There’s some folk

Missed the joke

That’s three, that’s three

That one has done for me

Too fast, too fast

They’ve got Gavroche at last

So never kick a dog

Because he’s just a pup

You better run for cover when the pup grows...

By contrast, R2 uses a much shorter variant which is set entirely to the tune of "Little People":

And little people know

When little people fight

We may look easy picking but we've got some bite

So never kick a dog

Because he's just a pup

You'd better run for cover when the pup grows up

And we'll fight like twenty armies and we won't give...

This is much closer to its current form, although the last two lines are inverted (we'll get to that in a later edition).

We now fast-forward to "Dog Eats Dog", which while recognizable is very different from the number we know today. The chorus of R1 claims that "It's a dirty great sewer that's crawling with rats", which R2 changes it to "stinking great sewer" instead. I'd definitely say the revised lyric better captures Thenardier's and the sewer's grossness.

Additionally, regarding Marius' ring, Thenardier originally exclaims that he "didn't mean to waste it, that would really be a crime". By R2, the line changes to "wouldn't want to waste it", which I'd say makes a lot more sense.

"Javert's Suicide" has changed a lot. R1 features the following remarks following "Vengeance was his and he gave me back my life":

Damned if I live in this caper of grace

Damned if I live in the debt of Valjean

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

Is this the law or has sanity gone?

(I'm a little unsure as to how accurate the final line is.)

By R2, the lines have been replaced with the current ones:

Damned if I live in the debt of a thief

Damned if I yield at the end of the chase

I am the law and the law is not mocked

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

In R1, the "Where's the new world, now the fighting's done" line is absent, and there is nothing but instrumentals in the segment where it is usually sung. By contrast, it is sung as usual in R2. My guess is that an actress simply forgot her line in R1 and it was always supposed to be there, though I can't say for sure.

The final change occurs at the wedding scene. The singing which opens the number is repeated in R1. By contrast, R2 has it sung once and then done with, as it currently is (and as it should be in my opinion, since the music isn't particularly pretty and contributes nothing to the plot).

Later in the same scene, R1 includes approximately this exchange (again, it's quite hard to make out the exact lyrics):

(THENARDIER)

I was there

Never fear

Even got me this fine souvenir

He was there

Her old dad

*indecipherable* and fleecing this lad

Robbed the dead

That's his way

(MME. THENARDIER)

That's worth five hundred any old day

(MARIUS)

I know this...

By R2, everything between "He was there" and "Any old day" were removed, which makes sense given that they essentially just rehash what was already said.

Finally, there's a subtle difference in the epilogue, specifically during the "Do You Hear the People Sing?" reprise. In R1, the ensemble sings "They will live again in glory in the garden of the Lord". R2 replaces the word "glory" with "freedom", and that word remains the one used to this day. I suppose "freedom" is more appropriate for the context of peace and prosperity. To many, I'd guess that "glory" conjures imagery of knights, battles, and the like; just the kind of violence that the characters wish to move away from! I have no idea if this was why the writers changed the lyric, but it's my hypothesis.

Towards the end of the show, the chorus in R1 sings "Even the darkest moon will end and the sun will rise". By R2, this is changed to "the darkest night". Makes more sense to me, since moons aren't known for being particularly dark!

And that just about sums this part up! If I missed anything feel free to let me know, as my goal is to create a changelog as thorough and complete as possible. I plan on making more parts in the near future covering all the changes that have been made in the show up until this day (discounting concerts). Any feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

As a side note, both for this project and my own enjoyment, I want as complete a collection of Les Miserables audios as possible. I already have most of what's commonly circulated, but if you have any audios or videos you know are rare, I'd love it if you DMed me!

Until the turntable puts me at the forefront again, good-bye...

[okayto]

Murderbot Reference: Character Descriptions Part 2

Fandom reference! I tried to note every time a person/thing got a physical description, as well as additional info like how augments work, etc. Please note that there may be spoilers for all five books, but especially Network Effect.

This post contains:

ART’s Senses

ART’s Crew

Three

Rami, Tapan and Maro

Tlacey

Tlacey’s ComfortUnit

Targets (Network Effect)

Barish-Estranza: Eletra, Ras, and Supervisor Leonide

Augments (what they are/how they work)

Other Human Personal Tech (Non-Augments)

Other Bots/Machines: Agricultural Bot, Pathfinders, NE Target Drones, MB’s Drones

Other posts: Part 1; Part 3

ART’s Senses

·         Besides cameras, sees ship through internal sensors, “which provided data (heat, density, angles of motions, etc.) that didn’t translate into images, at least not visual images useful to humans.”

·         MB guesses that gaps in ART’s memory archives might look like “a giant interruption in the constant incoming reports from subsystems like life support, navigation, etc. It was tricky, because for ART these are not like discrete reports from connected systems, but more like the sensory input I would get from the pads on the tips of my fingers.”

·         Does have cameras in many areas, cameras hidden enough that MB didn’t know they existed until ART turned them on and provided access via the feed in NE.

·         Likes Amena and talks to her more gently than MB or other humans—it’s more careful of Amena’s feelings. Has talked about human adolescents in a positive way. ART is, on a regular basis, a teaching vessel.

 ART’s Crew

·         Iris: augmented human. Dark brown skin, wearing a decorative woven bracelet when rescued in NE and a light blue longsleeved T-shirt. Small, shorter and slimmer than Ratthi, but not much bigger than Amena. Dark hair is the curly kind that puffs out a lot, but in NE pulled back and tied up in a band. Hair is long enough that she lifted it up so MB could see her back/neck when checking for an implant. Longsleeved T-shirt and pants and soft shoes are the casual version of ART’s blue crew uniform. Some bruises and scrapes at rescue. Seth’s child.

·         Seth: tall, very dark brown skin, “with less hair than most SecUnits,” a mostly-hairless head; earlier description from photograph (later context makes this likely to be Seth) says “no hair on the front half of his head.” Iris’s parent, she calls him “Dad.” Captain of Perihelion.

·         Martyn is Iris’s other parent (called “Dad); Seth’s marital partner; earlier description from photograph (later context makes this likely to be Martyn posing next to Seth) says lighter skin than Seth, with short white hair; he/him

·         Kaede is about the same size as Iris, but skin is lighter and her hair is yellow

·         Matteo is small like Iris and Kaede, and has a lot of dark hair that at rescue had come loose from braids. They/Them.

·         Turi is young like Amena. They/Them

·         Karime uses she/her

·         Tarik uses he/him

·         On variation of crew uniform (made for MB): dark blue, pants and jacket of deflective fabric, good quality (better than Station Security), with lots of sealable pockets for weapons and drones. Stability fabric boots, probably tough enough to jam a hatchway. Looks like what human security would wear. ART’s crew logo on the jacket, which also has a collar that folds down.

 Three

·         SecUnit, with projectile weapon built into arm

·         Armor flexes if it shifts its shoulders

 Rami, Tapan, and Maro

·         All wearing variations on work clothes, no uniform logos. Either Rami or Maro has an implant, but none are augmented. Part of a group marriage of 7 people, with 5 children of various sizes. MB thinks all are young—not far from adolescence.

·         Rami: tercera, “which was a gender signifier used in the group of non-corporate political entities known as the Divarti Cluster,” te/ter. Purple hair, red eyebrows, light brown skin. Wearing a jacket.

·         Tapan: female. Multicolored braids wrapped up around her head, blue jewel-toned feed interface clipped to ear, slightly darker skin than Rami. Wearing a flower-patterned t-shirt.

·         Maro: female. Very dark skin, silver-colored little puffs of hair, “almost beautiful enough to be in the entertainment media.”

 Tlacey

·         Augmented human female

 Tlacey’s ComfortUnit

·         Physical configuration doesn’t match SecUnit standard.

·         Lots of hair, silver with blue and purple on the ends, pulled back and braided like Tapan’s but in a much more complicated pattern.

·         Bare arms show no metal, and no gun ports

 Targets (Network Effect)

·         When fully affected: look like tall, thin augmented humans. Dull gray skin. Narrow human features, dark brows standing out against smooth gray skin. Colorless lips.

·         Not completely identical: one Target on ship is slightly taller and has broader shoulders than the other.

·         Targets on ships: wearing formfitting protective suits and partial helmets that initially left a lot of their faces bare. One on the B-E explorer wore “more casual human clothing:” dark green-black pants and jacket, black shirt with a collar. Shoes had heavy treads, designed for rough planetary terrain. Hair looked more normal, with reddish brown tight curls cut close to the head.

·         Targets and colonists: gray skin is a progressive condition, not natural or cosmetic effect, some still look like humans who were altered rather than aliens. Not all who still looked somewhat human were fighting on the same side. Most of fighting group wore “the kind of rough work clothing normal for colonies or mining, a cheaper, more battered version of ART’s environment suits with hoods but no breathing gear, or a mix of clean work clothes, plus a random collection of what looked like old uniforms and protective gear.”

 Barish-Estranza, Eletra, Ras, and Supervisor Leonide

·         B-E uniforms are red and brown with corporate logos

·         Eletra and Ras both wear B-E uniforms that are disheveled and torn.

·         Eletra has brown skin and dark hair that reaches at least to her shoulder blades.

·         Supervisor Leonide has “mid brown” skin “that was common to a large percentage of humans,” with an artificially smooth, even tone that indicated cosmetic enhancement. Dark hair wrapped around the top of her head and she has small metallic and gemstones set in the rim of one exposed ear.

 Augments

·         According to MB, are “supposed to help humans do things they couldn’t do otherwise, like interface with the feed more completely or store memory archives.”

·         Augments that aren’t feed interfaces are meant to correct physical injuries or illnesses.

·         Augments are meant to be helpful. Implants are different (MB compares implants to governor modules, something the person has little to no control over)

·         Normal augment would have filaments extending directly into the human nervous system. Some augmented humans may have dataports/plug-in interfaces in the back of their necks, since MB is able to pass off its dataport as one of these often.

·         Normal augmented human (augmented with feed) has interface built into brain; non-augmented humans have removable interfaces (excluding implants, which seem to be regular interfaces just not removable without surgery).

·         Augments and constructs work with “machine-readable code written into human DNA”

·         Augmented humans can work more fully in the feed; MB thinks that the drugged-up GrayCris assassins wouldn’t be possible to control with a removable interface, so the controller must be augmented (and this proves correct).

 Other Human Personal Tech

·         Un-augmented humans can’t access the feed unless their interface is working and attached properly. Tapan’s in-ear interface was taken out while ART’s MedSystem worked, and she had to put it back in before she contacted her partners.

·         “Normal external interfaces for humans were designed to look like all kinds of things, from carved natural wood to skin tones to jewels or stones or enamel art pieces to actual plain metal with a brand logo.”

·         Human voices on the feed sound like their physical voices, and can show emotions. Humans (and augmented humans) usually subvocalize when talking on the feed.

·         During killware attack in ES, Pin-Lee, Mensah and two crewmembers each has portable manual feed interfaces they used to shore up SecSystem; allowing them feed access without using their personal on-body interfaces.

·         MB says in AC that killware and malware can’t do anything to humans or augmented humans; the killware attack in ES hurts augmented humans enough that one needs rescue breathing. This could be MB’s lack of knowledge, or it could be because the ES killware is rare, essentially a disembodied bot and an extremely uncommon/unheard of tactic.

Other Bots/Machines

·         Agricultural bot: almost 10 meters (~32 feet) tall, covered with spikes. Lower body has 10 long spider limbs for moving around without crushing anything, upper part is a long curving “neck” with a long head also covered in spikes

·         Pathfinders: like drone for space. Active scanners that can zip around a planet collecting environmental information and terrain imaging, plus looking for comm signals, possible energy sources, and hostiles. Can relay audio as ART uses it to threaten Targets. Very expensive.

·         Drones used by NE Targets: model MB is unfamiliar with. Round and as big around as MB’s head, any holes for cameras or weapons hidden despite size. Made of stealth material (or pattern) that can’t be spotted by camera, but regular vision OK.

·         Drones used in ASR, pulled from the hopper: “They were the small kind, barely a centimeter across; no weapons, just cameras.”

·         Also in ASR, MB mentions that there also exist drones that aren’t much bigger than the hopper drones but include a small pulse weapon (but as far as availability through the company, you have to get an upper tier package)

·         MB’s regular drones: small enough that it can have a flock (at least a couple dozen?) land on it and not impede movement in an EVAC suit. MB mentions technique where it can have drone accelerate a drone straight at a target’s face, and if hit an eye or an ear it goes straight to the brain, so probably fairly small. They are also easy to visually overlook when perched in a room recording people, or sneaking through a doorway. They’re also easy to store in MB’s many pockets.

[tolbachik-art]

Hi, all! Sorry for not posting anything for a bit there, I've been busy with a lot these days, and haven't had much time for art, aside from all these patches I've done! These are for my good friend's KSP Real Solar System Series, Terminal Velocity. You can find it at the link below! Below the link will be an image ID of all the patches, as well. Thanks for your patience! I'll hopefully be getting to my own projects soon, but I've still been struggling with fatigue these days, so posts will most likely be far and few between.

Also, a full res version is visible on my Patreon for free! There are a lot of more details visible there, as I had to shrink this one down by a lot so that I was able to upload it. The original file is 281mb! Links below, and Image ID below the cut.

Patreon/Youtube/Tumblr/Redbubble/Deviantart/Ko-fi

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLXj7R4YGyh9lgRy2089wilNZmVJVXWLeE 

Image ID begins below: From the top left to the bottom right, there are 3 rows. On the top row, there are 4 patches, on the middle there are 3, and on the bottom are two. All patches have a black background, representing space, and have a gold ring around them, representing the border of the patches. The 1st patch on the 1st row is named Tholia, and represents a manned mission from Earth to Venus. On the left of the patch is Earth, with the North Pole, Russia, and Alaska visible. Behind the earth is a red and blue arrow, shooting past Venus, which is in the right of the patch. It has very faint yellow/white clouds. Above both planets is text, reading Tholia. To the right side of Earth and below Venus are 3 stars, representing the crew members in this program. The next patch, 2nd patch on the 1st row, reads Sarek, and represents a lunar robotics program. In the center foreground of the patch is two arrows, a blue and red one, wrapping around the Moon and Earth, which are behind it. The Moon is directly in front of the Earth, but slightly smaller than it, so both bodies are visible. The moon is a light and dark grey world, with the side normally facing Earth facing forward. Most of the volcanic seas are visible, along with a few smaller craters. It is pockmarked with white specks, representing craters. Behind it is Earth, with Russia on the left side of the Earth, and Alaska and Canada on the right side, with the North Pole on top. They have a variety of greens, whites, and browns covering them, representing forests and mountain ranges. There are white clouds covering the entirety of the earth, but are transparent enough that you can see the land below. There are two stars to the side of the Earth, representing the amount of missions in this program. The next patch is the 3rd patch on the 1st row, and reads Sisko. It is a helicopter that was sent to Titan, a moon of Saturn. In the foreground is a red/blue/gold arrow, wrapping around the front of Titan, going behind it, and then going behind Saturn, which is in the back left of the patch. Titan is a hazy orange world, with very little surface features due to its thick atmosphere. It has a shiny edge on the part facing the sun, and a slight purple hue on the terminator, where the sun is just rising. Behind Titan and to the left is Saturn, which is very small. It has yellow bands and clouds, which are highly differentiated. It has a thin band of rings, which are just barely visible as they intersect the arrow shooting behind it. The rings leave a shadow, which wrap around the southern half of the planet. There is text above both bodies which reads Sisko. The 4th patch on the 1st row reads Montgomery 9, and is a Venusian probe. Venus takes up a semicircle near the bottom of the patch, and has a red and blue arrow shooting behind it, reaching for the Sun which is at the very top center of the patch. Venus has a few different color cloud bands around it, but are hard to differentiate. The arrow has a star at the very top of it, which ends right before the sun at the top center. The star has 8 points, representing Venus and the amount of probes in this mission, which is one. The text is at the bottom of the batch, in the shadow of Venus, reading Montgomery 9. It is curved to fill the Venusian shadow. The 1st patch on the 2nd row reads Rom, and is a Phobos Sample Return mission. In the foreground is a red and blue arrow, which covers up most of Phobos and Mars, which are just behind it. Phobos is the first object behind the arrows, and is mostly shadow. It is a brown potato shaped moon, with a few visible craters and surface features. It has a bright shiny rim, reflecting the sun. Behind it and to the right is Mars, which is only partially in the patch. It's visible surface is even slimmer than Phobos, and is mostly obscured by the atmosphere and surface reflecting the sun. You can make out a few features, such as the pole, a few dark areas, and Valles Marineris, the largest canyon in the solar system. The arrow curves behind Mars, emanating from a small light blue fuzzy dot, representing Earth. On the far left is the Sun, which is not fully in frame. Only a few visual effects from the sun are visible. It has text that curves around the top left of Phobos, reading Rom. The 2nd patch on the 2nd row reads Benjamin, and is part of the Universal Rover Series, a streamlined set of Rovers that have been sent to most major moons and bodies in the solar system. This one is set at Saturn. In the center of the patch is Saturn, which is viewed from the top down. The polar hexagon is visible, as are all of its rings, including the divisions in them, as well as the shadow Saturn leaves on them. There are a few bands visible, but not much, as only most of the northern hemisphere is visible. Below Saturn is a red and blue arrow, which is emanating from the bottom of the patch. At the bottom of the patch, in an arc that curves around the patch, are all of Saturn's major moons. From left to right in the arc are Mimas, Enceladus, Tethys, Dione, Rhea, Titan, and Iapetus. They all have their notable surface features visible. On Mimas, the large impact crater is visible, and it is the smallest of the bunch. Enceladus is mostly white, with a few blue streaks on it, representing the tiger stripe features found on it which emanate water vapor. Tethys has plenty of craters and a yellow spot. Dione has its large white chasms/mountain ranges visible, as well as several craters. Rhea is next, which has no notable features aside from a few craters and different colored depressions. Titan is an orange and hazy world, due to its thick atmosphere. On its north pole a storm is barely visible. Iapetus is last, featuring white and black terrain, and a large impact crater. In the black background is a field of stars. On the very top of the patch is text, which reads Benjamin. Alongside the gold ring there is a dark brown outer ring. The 3rd patch on the 2nd row reads Picard, and is also part of the Universal Rover Series. This one is dedicated to Uranus. On the far right is Uranus, which is mostly in view, but a part of it is cut off by the patch. In a straight line from the left side of the patch to the right are Uranus's 5 major moons, and behind them is a red and blue arrow, shooting straight through them all into Uranus. From left to right are Oberon, Titania, Umbriel, Ariel, and Miranda, with Oberon being the largest and Miranda being the smallest. Oberon is first from left to right, with a reddish-brown surface, a bright reflective limb towards the left of it, and plenty of craters. It has several large ones, a few small ones, as well as a few chasms on its terminator. Most of the craters have center peaks in them, and the surface is dotted with white and dark brown specks. Titania is next, which is a reddish-brown moon as well, but more brown than Oberon. has a dark brown chasm at its southern pole, and a very large impact crater in the middle of its terminator. The impact crater has even more chasms leading out of it. It is covered with white specks and smaller craters as well. Umbriel is next, which is a darker brown than the two previous moons. It has several large dark craters covering its surface, as well as a few random chasms spread across it. It has a bright white crater on its northern part, and is also covered in white specks as well. Next to it is Ariel, which is a lighter reddish-brown moon. It has far more chasms than any of the other moons before it, and less craters than the others. They wrap around most of the moon, leading to snake-like features. It does not have as many white specks as the others did, either. Last but not least is Miranda, the smallest moon of the bunch. It has a very rough sphere-shape, with many imperfections. Its terrain is very striated, with black circles near the top left of it, and other various winding shades of grey in around it, hinting at its chaotic past. There are a few craters visible, but it is mostly just signs of the moon being shattered in the past. Uranus is the very last object on the right of the patch, and is a light blue with a dark limb, and a bright center region. It is tipped on its side, and has little to no surface features, except near the terminator, where a few white clouds are visible. A few grey ring bands are also visible at the very edge of the dark side of its terminator. On the bottom left of the patch, curving with it, it reads Picard. In the black background is a field of stars. Alongside the gold ring there is a dark brown outer ring. The 1st patch on the 3rd row reads Heywood, and is part of the Universal Rover Series. This one is headed to Neptune and it's only major moon, Triton. In the foreground & slightly cut off on the right is Triton, Neptune's only major moon. It's a fairly large and complex moon, with a lot of different features. On it's left side, near the terminator, there is a greyish flat area, with a bit of a blue and purple tint to it. It has surface features like a cantaloupe here, which is a bunch of misshapen raised ridges connected together, forming small circles. This stretches over most of its terminator region and a bit into the sun-facing side, only ending before a lighter grey part of the moon. The northern part, before the main light grey part, is a slight brown color, with a few strange surface features, which are dark grey/purple spots surrounded by white, which take on different shapes. There are only 4 of them, and one looks almost like a mushroom. On the main grey part, there are a lot of different features. When the greyish-brown plains connect to the main light grey area in the center, there are a lot of light grey parts surrounding the darker grey parts, leading to a bunch of weird enclosed shapes. There are more of them towards the southern half, and less and less up north. Towards the center of the moon are the geysers, which are represented by very small black streaks. They are mostly clustered together, with almost none appearing outside this region. Alongside these geysers are a few random white spots, which are misshapen blobs. More to the right are more misshapen blobs, but they range in color from slightly red to yellowish white. They are more in the northern area to the right of the geysers, but there are a few rusty colored ones, near the southern half when it disconnects into another grey-ish purple area. On the limb, there are a few chasms in the far right center side, another purple-ish grey plains region in the south, and an even brighter white section in the north limb area. There is a slight white haze surrounding the edge of Triton, and on the very very edge of the limb there are a few black geyser jets, but are very hard to make out. Behind it & not cut off by the edge of the patch is Neptune, which takes up a large majority of the screen. It is a deep blue world with different shades of blue making up different bands, from its north pole to its south. Some of the bands near the poles are darker than others, while the ones in the center are brighter. There are a few white clouds all over the planet, as well as two major storms. At the equator is the Great Dark Spot, which is just slightly to the left of the far right of the planet. It has a few white clouds circling the edge of it, and one in the northern left part of it. It has the shape of an eye, and is much darker blue then the surrounding bands. In the dark band near the north pole is another dark spot, but it is half obscured by the curvature of the planet. It has a lighter spot in the middle of it, and a few white clouds circling around it as well. Behind Neptune and Triton is a red and blue arrow, which stretches to the far right of the patch, emanating from a fuzzy blue dot, which represents Earth. On the far right curvature of the patch, there is text which reads Heywood. In the black background is a field of stars. Alongside the gold ring there is a dark brown outer ring. The 2nd patch of the 3rd row reads Janeway, and is the last rover in the Universal Rover Series. This one is directed towards Pluto and its moon Charon. In the very center of the patch is a dark sphere with a light blue limb, and a large blueish-white hazy atmosphere, which extends out very far. This is based off of a picture taken by NASA's New Horizons probe, which took a picture of Pluto from behind as it was passing by it, revealing a beautiful blue-ish haze that surrounded the entire dwarf planet. There are no notable surface features, hinting at how Pluto is a mostly unknown world at the time, with very little of it explored. It has a very small bright blueish white circle on the very edge of the planet, representing its incredibly thin atmosphere. Behind Pluto are two red, blue, and gold arrows coming from both the left and right, going behind Pluto. They are dark as well, with only a little light hitting the top of it. At the very bottom of the patch, running along the curvature is text reading Janeway. In the black background is a field of stars. Alongside the gold ring there is a dark brown outer ring. Behind every patch and to the bottom left of it is a slight black shadow, and the background all the patches are on is teal, with a rough paper texture appearance to it. Image ID ends here.

[kihaku-gato]

AVTUALLY do you have a like guide on your OCs? Like quick and dirty who are they, why are they, what’s their universe etc etc. you seen yo have so much on them and how they fit in their world but i never really got a grasp on them and i want to know, well, everything

The quick and dirty… mildly challenging but not impossible, I’ll try to boil it all to bare essentials right here.

The World- Hoep

Not including AUs and Miscellaneous little stories/worlds there’s really only one fleshed out world for a good chunk of my OCs, which are in the “Hoepian universe” aka. the planet known as Hoep.

There’s a lot of details/lore for said world but here’s the short of it;

Fantasy setting, everyone’s a dragon. Almost everyone sticks to their human form cause most peoples’ dragon forms are… too smol. The monsters that caused humans before dragons to go extinct are still trying to do the whole planetwide extinction thing, some peeps try to stop it.

 Terra

Badass aloof athletic. Tournament fighter is her hobby but Mana Tech (or “magic scientist/craftsman” for lack of a better descriptor) is her career choice. Her battle style has a bit of a disciplined martial artist or military style to it. She is of a race of (literally) venomous/poisonous dragons, but does a bit to distance herself from any culture attached to that side of her, due to biological family abuse from an early age (well that and the whole “her father is a murderer and war criminal” detail), right to the point that she uses fire magic rather than poison or venom.

Due to the rough start she was a crybaby as a child, but after being adopted by a travelling fighter tournament champion, she started to make efforts on her own accord to be tougher and more like her adoptive mother. Though her mother did influence her badass aloof persona, I like to believe that Terra herself would’ve put her own pressure on herself to be tougher even w/o that influence.

This and that and she’s a little awkward socially. I’ve headcanoned her as Autistic but its one of those things I go on/off on.

She pays her bills partially through Mana Tech commissions (aka. commissions for enchanted clothes, armor, or weapons) as well as occasionally from the few tournaments she competes in.

 Kayla

Bubbly innocent lowkey powerhouse. Very bouncy and girly, a bit of romantic. She is last of her Clan of Monster Slayers (fyi there were three different Monster Slayer Clans that got wiped out). By instinct she is a good monster slayer to the point she took the job of monster bounty hunter to try to get by in her nomadic wanderings all the while not even training herself much to actually do said jobs.

She’s not really book smart, but definitely is attuned to emotions and intuition.

She holds up a very innocent rambunctious maiden kind of personality around people despite that violent career- it’s not so much as lie as much as it’s just the fact she wants to desperately hold onto her dream to be anything but a warrior. Settling down with a s/o, maybe starting a family, that’s what she would love to one day do so.

A bit of a powerful tank; half of it is all that hefty muscle hidden under the fat, the other half of it is her magical power being huge as well. Hard to beat being able to summon a lightning storm with enough build up.

She grows a crush on Terra when they initially meet. Rose-tinted glasses at the time saw Terra as a knight in shining armor.

  Demauria

Third image I had to include cause FRICK Shiro fanarts of Demauria are fucking gorgeous I die

Ice cold smol angry ball of rage. Despite being the shortest of the main roster, she’s actually slightly older than Kayla (some of it is genetic, but also some of it is that bad nutrition and improper magic usage stunted her body a little bit).

Like Kayla, is the last of her monster slaying clan. If that wasn’t bad enough though, Demauria lost family twice; her Clan, but then also her adoptive family as well (which got slaughtered by monsters). Between that and being raised in isolation (desolate arctic wilderness) she has a really bad time managing her emotions, which tend to then all lead to a response of becoming very angry as her emotions get out of hand. I could very easily see people calling her a tsundere (I even jokingly call her that) but it’s not a perfect label for how she is.

Her use of Ice Magic is both from her Clan and from being taught by her late adoptive father.

The one OC to be stubborn about preferring punk/goth aesthetic and very little else. If she wasn’t dealing with the mess she has to deal with (both in herself and the world itself) I would believe she’d be one to delve into Hoep’s history; both reading and studying the world’s roots.

While I’m not proofreading most of this ramble, upon nearing posting this I realized I should probably also explain wtf is with the pink haired vs the red haired with freckles versions of Demauria; like how Gaara (from Naruto) covers his body in a layer of sand for protection, Demauria does the same but with ice which is what causes the bluer hues and the hidden freckles.

 Riivar

Tall Travelling flirtatious entertainer. She’s ex-royalty from another kingdom (daughter to the King of Kennara). She severed her already rocky connection to her royal roots and took career choice of stage entertainer (a jack of many trades; singing, dancing, magical fire light shows, dramas, she dabbles in whatever she feels like having fun in) and struck huge fame. She’s also just is famous for being great with ladies in bed but shhhhh that’s not important.

In stark contrast to her royal roots she’s chill and very free-spirited and is much about having the freedom to do what you want to do in life.

 Harriet

Airheaded ship captain. Despite not being the smartest (she’s “sea smart” and has a lowkey theatre-kid mind but otherwise-), strongest, or prettiest, she makes up scrappy tomboyish charisma. Even in AUs she tends to attract a bit of a loyal crew that can move almost like an extension of herself.

Due to being the magnetic center of attention she can feel very ruffled/threatened when that attention she soaks in gets yanked away from her by someone else accidentally or otherwise (this is often the origin of a lot of Harriet’s animosity towards Terra both in canon and in AUs).

Like Terra, I lowkey headcanon Harriet to be autistic as well (funny for me, their Autistic creator to be so wishy washy on declaring it canon but that’s just how it is).

She was raised in a big family (lots of brothers), and was taught under the wing of a Retired-crimeboss who leads/directs her town’s Tournament Arena. Said ex-crimeboss trained her in “tournament legal” fighting methods but also taught her how to be illegal/dirty/underhanded methods where it be necessary for survival at sea. Before going to sea in her dream to be a seafaring ship captain she fought up the local tournament to become the tournament Champion to get her mentor’s blessing. Harriet had a random encounter with Riivar near Harriet’s “leaving of the nest” which both awoke Harriet’s adoration for women (“oh shit I’m bi”) and her idolization of Riivar to the point that she clumsily tries to mirror Riivar’s flirtatious mannerisms if she’s trying to woo a lady.

Though she holds herself to be graceful (her ability to ballerina spin for her water-magic attacks would fool anyone to believing that) she has a bit of a fumble-klutz streak in odd moments; the missing tooth in her smile was from tripping headfirst into the ship deck after a successful brawl against a rivaling ship crew at sea where she didn’t even acquire a scratch during said brawl (most AUs find similar ways to cause her to get a lost tooth in her grin).

You’d think her shipcrew would be a band of pirates but that’s mildly off the mark despite the well-matched aesthetic; she does not seek to steal, so she gets her ship’s maintenance paid by a blend of discovered sunken treasure/artifacts (some which she keeps for shiny keepsies) and the odd cargo/trade delivery to various places.

 Anne

Shy gentle beefcake. Same boat as Kayla and Dema in that she is the last of her respective monster slaying Clan (while Kayla was a kid and Dema was a baby when that happened to them, Anne had it happen to her in her tweens). In the fleeing for her destroyed home she eventually ended up in the great deserts where she was adopted by one of the nomadic desert dragon clans. Being lava magic (the magic her bloodclan specialized in) is similar to earth magic she quickly learned of the earth/stone golem techniques from said desert clan. While she’s capable of using lava magic she often uses earth magic first till the lava magic “warms up”. At some point she ran off to try to avenge/reclaim the town of her lost Clan from the monsters and left quite a mark on said monsters (not w/o getting scarred up physically and mentally herself though).

After that encounter rather than delve further on the monsterhunter role or return to the desert clan, she wandered around confusion of what she should do only to somehow end up in Harriet’s crew in a chance encounter. Before meeting Harriet she was getting money by a mix of selling baked pastries and shiny gems/minerals she prospected with her earth magic.

I’m still bouncing around on a lot of her motives and personality (the first conception of her she was a bit of a battle hungry warrior- not anymore, she softer now) but for the moment she’s pretty quiet and shy despite being so big and strong; she’d rather have a calmer life and embrace a more feminine style in how she holds herself, but she too busy having Destiny/Responsibility of being a monster slayer breathing down her neck despite not wanting to involve herself in those things.

 I’m not entirely sure if that’s a good down and dirty of the main OC 6 but I hope it is. I’d mention a lot of my other OCs (Hoepian or otherwise) for their sum ups but most of them are short story characters or support characters at best, or just pretty faces with little personality at worst.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Legend of the band; AU Ghost! Queen x teen reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well this is a story that's been going through my head for a few days. I was originally gonna save this before Halloween but I figure I just go ahead and post this now in case I lost it amongst all my other writings in the near future. So background on this story it takes place in present day and the band members of Queen are ghosts.  Now I want to also put this out, I've inspired the ghosts designs from Guillermo Del Toro's film Crimson Peak. So just type in how the ghosts look and you'll see just why I've made the boys ghosts different colors.

Warnings: Swearing, death, slight attempted of assault (ALWAYS ASK PERMISSION BEFORE YOU TRY TO KISS SOMEONE), some horror elements?, fluff and angst.

*EDIT 7-27-20* NEW PARTS DOWN BELOW!!!

Part 2

Part 3

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@simonedk​

@platawnic​

@geek-and-proud​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queendeakyy​

@queensdivas​

@kairosfreddie​

@eileen-crys​

_________________________________________________________

It started off as a dare-pact that my friends wanted to do.  Every year around Halloween we try to do some sort of Halloween dare together whether it was going to a graveyard, using a Ouija board, or crashing a Halloween party in one of the upper class neighborhoods dressed as monsters and scare the shit out of them.

It was either one person or we would do it as the entire group and this year we decided to do our next Halloween dare as a group.  The ringleader of the group Aaron gathered us up in our private clubhouse (his basement) and we were all gathered around to discuss just what we were going to do.

“Right, I call this meeting of the Halloween dare to order.” Aaron proclaimed.

“So what’s the plan for this year?” asked Brandon.

“How bout we go downtown and scare the little kids at the daycare during their Halloween party?” suggested Jake.

“No that’s just cruel even for us.” Said Amy.

“I agree.” I added. “Besides you just want to do that cause you’re little brother’s gonna be there, right?”

“So what? The little asshole got me into trouble last week. He deserves some payback.” Jake hissed.

“Alright Jake settle down. Okay so we had Amy and Susan do the Ouija board last year.”

“Which I still don’t forgive you guys. I swear I think my house is still haunted.” Susan said.

“Oh I’ve got it!” Proclaimed Brandon.

“Lay it on us Bran.” Aaron said.

“Three words for you guys. Rockfield. Farm. studios.” At that point everyone went silent.

“ARE YOU INSANE!?!?” exclaimed Amy.

“Yeah Brandon do you want to commit suicide or something!? Do you hate life!?” Jake snapped.

“Brandon, why in the fuck would you suggest that?” I asked.

“Oh come on! We’ve done practically the same stupid shit every time. Yeah sure the Ouija board could do some serious things but never have we actually tried to go to a real haunted house. So why not Rockfield farm?”

“Wait, I don’t get it. What’s Rockfield farm?” Susan asked.  Susan was the recent member to join the horror crew when she moved here from Michigan. Almost no one wanted to speak that was until I finally told her the legend.

“Rockfield farm was used as a recording studio a long time ago. Like back in the 70’s. Anyway there was this up and coming band called Queen. You know the ones who made the song Killer Queen?”

“Oh yeah my mom still has her vinyl record of that album.” Susan said.

“Well anyway, in the summer of 1975 they went to record their next record. Legend says it would’ve been their greatest album yet. It could’ve really made them even more famous than they were. But—an accident occurred at that farm.”

“What happened?” she asked.

“Well that’s where the story gets a little iffy. There have been several theories throughout time on what happened.” I explained.

“One theory is that an electrical fire happened while the band was in the studio, and they couldn’t escape in time and ended up being burned alive.” Jake said.

“Another theory is that someone broke into the property and slaughtered the band mates in their sleep.” Amy said.

“A slightly different version to that theory is that it was actually the band’s assistant that killed them in cold blood. Apparently he was in love with the front man. And in rejection he slaughtered the whole band before killing himself.”

“Whichever story you choose to believe in, it is said that the ghosts of the band members still haunt the property to this day. And anyone who has entered inside, is never seen again.” Aaron finished.

“Which is why not even I will go there.” Jake emphasized.

“Oh what’s wrong Jake? Don’t got the balls to make a drive up there and spend the night in the haunted farm?” teased Brandon.

“Shut up arsehole! At least I have balls.” Brandon was just about to pounce on Jake when Amy stopped the two of them by pushing Brandon back onto the floor and I said.

“Look, I thought it was foolish enough to go to the graveyard at night. But this—this is foolishness. No way am I gonna be possessed by a ghost or anything like that.”

“You know what you guys are all chicken!” Brandon exclaimed. “We’ve done almost every single Halloween dare known to man and you lot are scared to go to a little haunted house in the country and spend the night there.”

“He’s right.” Aaron finally spoke up.

“I’m sorry what?” Amy snapped.

“He’s right. We’ve been pulling out the same stuff every year but with different people. There’s no real haunted places here in the city but Rockfield is the closest thing we can get to.”

“Thank you!” Brandon exclaimed.

“Aaron, I swear to god if you make me go to that place we are finished! Do you hear me finished!” Amy snapped as she walked right up towards her boyfriend of 3 years.

“Sorry babe, I’ve made my mind up. We’ll leave in 2 days. Meeting adjourned.” Oh god what has Brandon done?

Later that night I was staring up at the full moon from my window when my nana came in.

“I thought I had told you to go to bed sweetheart. You’ve got school in the morning.”

“Couldn’t sleep nana.” I said solemnly.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” she said as she came up and sat down next to me.

“Just something my friends want me to do.”

“Those troublemakers that always make you trespass on private property? Or crash a party? Honestly (y/n) I don’t know why you hang out with kids like that.”

“They’re my friends nana. They always got my back when I need them.” She sighed and surrendered.

“Alright, alright. But what’s gotten you so rattled up?” now I couldn’t really tell her just what was going on.  She’d never let me go on a road trip to Rockfield farm so I had to think of something.

“They—they suggested going on a trip and…..I don’t like to leave you alone.” She smiled at me and tucked a strand of hair.

“Oh poppet. I maybe old but I’m not frail. How long are you planning on leaving?”

“It’s just for Halloween. We’ll be back the next day.”

“Okay then. Now even though I don’t approve of your friends behavior, I can’t stop you from going out Halloween night. Just promise you’ll stay out of trouble.”

“I will.” That’s a promise that not even I know how to keep. “And you’re sure you’ll be fine?”

“Yes, yes. And don’t worry, your father won’t hear a thing from me.”

“Really?”

“I’m his mother. I don’t have to tell him anything.” She winked at me. “Now go to sleep.” She lectured me before giving me a kiss goodnight and we both told each other I love you.

Two days later it was time.  Right after school, we all piled in Brandon’s RV and we drove the long drive to the country side to Rockfield studios.  Just as the sun was about to set, we finally arrived at the farm.

God it looks even more desolated and frightening than the pictures.  The entire housing was swamped with vines, weeds, and any other ounce that Mother Nature could throw at it.  The bricks at certain spots were chipped away or even rotting away (how that’s possible I don’t know).

We slowly walked up towards the main house and we just stood before it fearfully.

“Whose gonna go in first?” Amy asked.

“I vote our raining president of this idea Brandon.” Jake said.

“I second that.” Amy replied.

“Ditto.” Said Susan.

“Fine I’ll go in first.” Brandon said as he walked up the steps of the deck before standing before the front door.  He just stood there, still as a statue before Jake cried out.

“Well go on smartass and go in already!”

“I’m going I’m going!” Brandon snapped back.  He took the door handle and slowly opened the door which made an eerie creaking sound. He took one small step into the house before he was suddenly pulled in.

“BRANDON!” we all cried out.  Soon we all piled into the house and it was so dark you could barely make out what was in front of you.  The door suddenly slammed loudly behind us which made a few of us jump.

“Come on Brandon, this isn’t funny!” Jake called out.

“Brandon?” Aaron spoke up.

“Brandon seriously if this is a joke it’s not AHHH!!!” Amy spoke before suddenly screaming as something grabbed her.  We all soon began screaming before a laugh rang out.  Coming out from underneath a white sheet was Brandon.

“You guys should’ve seen your faces!” he laughed.

“You sick fuck who does that!?” Amy said as she began to punch him as hard as she could.

“That wasn’t funny Brandon.” I scowled.

“It was pretty funny!”

“Guys I think I found the light’s switch.” Susan said as she then flipped a switch on and soon the lights came on.

“Okay so we’re here now. Why not have a look around?” Brandon suggested.

“Man do you not know your horror film goofs!? If we split up, the ghosts will hunt us down one. By. one. Starting with the good looking comedy relief guy, me!” Jake proclaimed.

“Get a grip Jake! We’ll split up into pairs. Amy and I will go together and take the barn. (Y/n) you and Susan…..”

“Oh hell no. I can’t even stand to be near Brandon right now!”

“Oh what you a wittle scaredy cat Jakey-wakey?” Brandon teased.

“SHUT UP!!!”

“Alright! Jake you and (Y/n) go take the living room, and Susan you and Brandon can take the upstairs.” Aaron said breaking up the fight with the boys.  I rolled my eyes cause I knew Jake was gonna try to flirt around with me (he’s been doing that since the start of secondary school).

“I can dig with that.” Jake said as he came right up beside me.

“Do you seriously hate me Aaron?” I muttered before we finally split up.

Jake and I came to the living room and saw a small piano right there in the middle of the room, and jointed next to the living room was the kitchen.

“Pretty spooky huh? Just imagine if this piano started playing on its own. But no worries (Y/n), if you get scared you can hold onto me and I’ll protect you.”

“My hero.” I muttered sarcastically.  It was then something caught my eye.  I walked towards a table to see what looked like an old photo album.  I blew away the dust and wiped the cover to see the writing say.

PROGRESS ON LATEST ALBUM

“Whatcha got there?” Jake said as he came up to me and shined his phone flashlight down on the photo album.

“It’s an old photo album book.” Jake scoffed.

“Wow. The only person who has stuff like that are my parents. Man thank god we have technology nowadays. Otherwise no one would get to see my handsome face.” Why does this man even exist? Seriously I don’t see why all the girls on the cheer squad go for him?

“And what a shame that would’ve been.” I muttered as I opened the book up.

“I know right?!” I turned the next page and there were a few photos of Queen inside a recording studio of sorts and below it a caption that spelled,

AT HARD WORK WITH THE LADS. R.M.T.

“What does RMT stand for?”

“I don’t know. Could be some sort of acronym or something. Maybe initials for a name.”

“Well you’re an expert on all those old guys that existed back in the Medieval ages. What were the names of the band that died here?”

“It wasn’t the Medieval ages Jake. It was 40 years ago. And I don’t really know their names. I just know them as Queen.” I flipped to the next page to see a man with long black hair at the piano and the caption under that said.

FRED AT PIANO - Bri.

“Fred huh? He doesn’t look like a Fred to me. And who signs off with Bri?” I shook my head and continued to flip through the pages.  Each picture were of the band doing certain things while recording or just being around the farm, and each picture was signed with initials RMT, JD, FM, or BRI.  Finally the last picture was all four of them together.

“Check out the date.” I said.  In the picture it read 8-13-75. “This was taken the day when the band died.”

“Holy shit you’re right. They must’ve taken this picture just before whatever happened, happened.”

“They look so young.” I said solemnly.

“Yeah. But if they had lived they’d be like—our grandparents by now.” Suddenly I heard a voice.

No wait it was—singing.  I looked around trying to find out where the singing was coming from.  It was—beautiful. Hypnotic almost.  It was the most beautiful sound I ever heard.

“(/n). (Y/n)! Oi (Y/n)!” I was snapped out of it by Jake. “Jesus you looked like you were in a trance or something.”

“Was I? Sorry I….”

“No need to apologize. Hell if it was all about me, then maybe I’ll let it slid.” He said as he stroked up my arm.

“Jake! I’ve tried to let you down easy but please for the last time. I don’t like you that way! So stop with the flirting!”

“Oh c’mon (Y/n). What is there about me that you don’t like?” Gee where do I begin? “C’mon just give me a chance.” He walked closer to me but I tried to push him away.

“No Jake stop! Back off!” suddenly the fireplace just a few feet away from us ignited.  The flames reached as high as they could and call my crazy but I thought I could see someone’s face in the fire.  Jake jumped away from me and that’s when we heard the piano being played.

Play video

It was a random play on the keys at a very fast pace on the upper keys while also hitting a couple of the lower keys every now and then.  

“What the f—” the piano then hit a single key for a couple of beats before finally changing tune to that of a marching tune.  Like someone was coming towards you and you could just hear the beat of their footsteps.

Getting freaked out by the piano, Jake ran screaming out of the living room while I was just frozen in place.  The fireplace suddenly turned off but there was still some sort of light.  I slowly turned around and saw a yellow light ball shining right there.  But it wasn’t just some random ball or something.

This was some sort of spiritual ball because I could see smoke slowly dancing around it as it floated before me.  I wanted to run but I was either too scared or stunned by what just happened.  It was then I heard the singing come back, and it was coming from this spiritual matter in front of me.

And I don’t know how or why but—it made me feel safe.  Listening to the singing that came from this ball, it was like being wrapped up tightly in a warm hug.  Or sleeping in your own bed, like the weight of the world has been dropped from you.

I soon found myself walking towards the yellow spirit ball.  It moved backwards as I walked towards it.  It floated towards the fireplace and I wouldn’t have known if I weren’t in my trance-like state once again, but the fireplace opened up to reveal a long corridor.

*3rd Person POV*

As Jake ran on ahead he soon tackled into someone and that someone ended up being Amy.

“What the hell Jake!? Get off me you perv!”

“Guys! Guys! Guys! P-p-p-p-pi….pi-gh…..(y/n)…..”

“Stop your blabbering and tell us what happened!?” Aaron said as he forced Jake off his girlfriend and helped her up.

“Piano……playing itself. Fireplace……flames go up.”

“What’s he blabbering about?” Brandon’s voice soon spoke up as he and Susan came around the hallway.

“Where’s (Y/n)?” Susan asked worriedly.  They all looked at Jake who still had a look of fright on his face.  They quickly raced towards the living room and they all gasped to see (Y/n) just about to turn right of the long corridor that stood them.

“What the hell!”

“Why did you leave her you dumbass!?”

“(Y/n)!” her friends tried to run after her but the fireplace soon closed back up and the flames were once again fully ignited.  Soon coming out of the flames was a pure white figure.

His hair was all curly and long like a poodle.  He wore a few necklaces 2-3 which were wrapped around his neck while the other one draped over his bare chest due to his shirt having a few of the buttons undone. But what had the kids most horrified was that this man was transparent.

Gentle wisps of smoke flowed from his hair, fingers, and even the cut along his cheek which seeped out small amounts of ghost blood.  His eyes which were a pure dark grey stared right at the young teenagers and he let out a haunting whisper.

“She belongs……to us!” at that phrase the teens all screamed and ran off.  The girls ran towards the backway while the boys ran up the stairs.  The girls raced out towards the barn and hid underneath a hay cart.

“Was that a……” Susan started off.

“No! It couldn’t have been! It’s impossible!” Amy exclaimed in denial.

“Oh it’s entirely possible.” A male voice soon spoke up.  They slowly turned their heads and saw another ghost.

Unlike the one they saw earlier, this one was a blue spirit with haunting ocean like eyes.  His hair was long and flowing and he wore a smug grin on his face.  Susan and Amy were in gawk at this ghost. “Now, now ladies I know I’m a looker but there’s no need to stare.”

They then screamed as they tried to get out but just before they could leave the barn, the doors suddenly shut.

“Leaving so soon? Oh that’s not fair. Not before I’ve had the chance to know your names. God it’s been so long since female company have come to this farm.” Susan and Amy were terrified at the point.  They tried to get the doors open but it was all in vain.  

Suddenly they felt themselves being levitated up in the air and the ghost appeared before them and said in a low, haunting tone.

“And the three of us are gonna have such fun together.” Only the piercing, terrified screams of the girls echoed through the barn.

Back in the house, Brandon, Jake and Aaron all headed for the basement in one of the tightest rooms the house had.  They all panted heavily and Aaron said.

“Did—you guys see what I saw?”

“You mean that curly haired ghost that just said (Y/n) belongs to them. No.” Brandon said.

“Same.” Jake said. The room suddenly got colder than it was, so cold in fact that the boys could now see their breath.  It was then Jake suddenly felt something pick him up by his throat.  He squirmed in the grip of the invisible force.

“Jake!” Aaron called out but then suddenly he and Brandon were pushed up against the wall and they couldn’t move.  No matter how much they squirmed, they couldn’t budge an inch.  Suddenly Jake was thrown down onto the small rickety bed and that’s when he appeared.

A fully black ghost with long hair.  He looked younger than the last ghost they saw but there was something about him that felt—angry.  The young black ghost turned to Jake and his voice which was a soft, honey like tone say.

“If I remember, No always means No. No matter who it is.” He slowly crawled on top of Jake pinning his arms down. “But since you can’t seem to understand what it feels like to be in such a vulnerable position, maybe I should show you.” by the end of his statement his voice suddenly got lower, darker.  Almost sinister.

Through Jake’s eyes he saw as this ghost’s face actually morphed into the Devil himself. Burned and scarred with pure red and black eyes.  Jake screamed in pure terror.

*My POV*

I kept following the light as well as the voice.  The beautiful, soulful, most angelic voice.  God it was—almost inhuman of how this voice could sing.  With such gentleness but also control it when he belted out a note or a phrase.

The light ball quickly faded away and had now become a record player with an album that stood right up against it.  I slowly reached out for it and it read.

QUEEN

A NIGHT AT THE OPERA.

As I held it in my hands there was a moment where I heard screaming.  Wait my friends? They were……

“Play the record darling.” The voice soothed me.  I felt a gentle caress under my chin.  I closed my eyes and took out the record and placed it on the record player. “Play it, play it. You know you want to.” The voice continued to coo.  I turned the record on, lifted the needle but just before I could place it at the top the voice whispered to me again, “Lower.”

I adjusted the needle as the voice continued to whisper lower again and again softly in my ear.

“There!” it suddenly hissed out which frightened me and forced me to let go of the needle and soon a quartet of voices soon began to sing with no instrument backup.

Play video

My god. This……this really was Queen.  I mean I’ve only really heard a few of their songs but this was definitely them.  The way their voices melded together in perfect harmony.  The piano soon came in and I sat down by the record player and just took in this song.

I literally felt like my soul was being sucked out as the vocals took me on a trip.  Then the bass picked up as the leading front man started singing the song, the very voice I’ve been hearing from the spirit force earlier.

As the song continued to play and went on a brief instrumental break, I looked at the record to see just what this song was called because I hadn’t heard a single word that stands out except Mama.  I then saw a finger point to the second to last song.  I looked up and shocked to see one of the band member’s ghost right there with me.

His entire ghost form was the same yellow color as the spirit ball from earlier, his wild hair went down to shoulders and he had an overbite but somehow it worked on him. He looked pretty exotic (by that I knew he wasn’t from London, maybe India or something).  He nodded and gestured to the song again.  I looked down at it and read it out loud.

“Bohemian Rhapsody?” he smiled happily and soon a guitar solo came on.  But along with that, I heard the same guitar playing the same notes, almost as if—holy shit!

A curly haired pure white ghost soon held a red guitar and began playing the exact guitar solo right there.  I turned to the ghost beside me who was still smiling devilishly and he gestured for me to look back at the guitarist.  As I watched the white ghost play the guitar, I was amazed and mesmerized by how he played the guitar.

As a Classic Rock fan I’ve seen the greatest guitar players such as Hendrix, Eric Clapton, Alex Lifeson, and Eddie Van Halen, but this guy—this was unlike anything I’ve ever seen a guitarist do or even play.  It was like his guitar was actually singing a solo, instead of just being an instrument.  Like it was a person, and she sang beautifully.

The song then went quiet as the lights went out and only a single piano note was now playing over and over.  Soon the silhouette of the ghost that led me here stood before me as a single spotlight hit him.  And I don’t know whether the vocals suddenly turned off or whatever but I could actually hear singing right there.

Next thing I know, the yellow and white ghosts are now joined up with a soft blue and pure black ghost.  The four of them standing together in like a diamond shape patter with the yellow and white ghost at top and bottom respectively, the blue ghost was on my right while the black was on the left.  

The four of them once again jointed in a quartet harmony before suddenly their voices boomed out like a canon firing.  And I know it sounds crazy but I swear I think they duplicated themselves about a dozen times to get that full powerful choir sound.  The blue ghost then started to sing in a really high falsetto tone while the yellow ghost backed him up on the lower range before making his voice waver.

This pattern continued as the front man sung again softly and then the other three ghosts (or copies) backed him up.  Wow this song it’s—literally unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.  The way it started soft before BAM exploding right in your face. Just like an Opera.

I bopped my head along to the beat softly to the beat and then when the rock out section came on. I’ll admit I banged my head as hard as I could (may come to regret it later but I didn’t care).  The setting soon changed to an actual rock and roll concert stage and I saw all four of them up on the stage.  

The black ghost on bass, the blue playing the drums, the white playing his guitar and the yellow one center stage, well more like everywhere as he strutted around and sung as loudly as he could.

I smiled and stood up and couldn’t help but jump up and down as I rocked out along with them. The yellow ghost soon went back to the piano and began playing it and as the four ghosts vocalized softly, the song slowly died off the hard rock and grew soft once again.  The yellow ghost sang the last verse as the piano solely took over now just before the white ghost played his guitar for the last time.

Then when the soft bang of a gong, the song ended and the room went dark once more.

“That’s it? Oh come on please that can’t be the end of the song!” the lights soon came back on and I now found myself in a recording studio.  The four ghosts all standing there.  The yellow one came up to me with a soft smile and gently touched the center of my forehead with his index and tall fingers and I felt this warmth come over my yet again.

“We’ve got more songs than that dear, believe me. But this is the one we’re most proudest of.” His normal voice spoke to me.  

“It was either that or I’m in love with my car.” The white ghost groaned out.

“I told you before Brian it’s a metaphor!” the blue ghost snapped.

“After all these years Roger it’s still unusual. What exactly are you doing to that car?” the black ghost sassed.

“Ignore him darling. He’s just a little peeved that after all the fussing and locking himself in a cupboard, his song didn’t get the chance to go on the B side to our single. Which is my masterpiece.” The yellow ghost told me.

“Umm…..not to sound cruel but, I mean I know you guys are Queen but uhh—what are your names?”

“Oh yes that. Silly me. You my darling may call me Freddie Mercury.” The yellow ghost introduced himself with a twirl.

“Brian May. Thank you again for giving us a chance to show you our hard work.” The white ghost introduced himself.  Wow he sure was polite.

“Roger Taylor. And I must say my dear, you are quite adorable, especially when you let loose and rock out.” The blue ghost gave me a wink.  Normally I wouldn’t give flirting a second glance, especially after Jake’s insistent flirting, but for some reason I couldn’t help but blush at his compliment.

“Please forgive him. He always goes crazy over a pretty girl. John Deacon it’s lovely to meet you.” The black ghost said as he gave me a greeting bow of his head.  Freddie, Brian, Roger and John, these guys were the men behind Queen.

“It’s—an honor to meet you four. I’m (Y/n). So—all the times people have been coming into the studio, all you wanted was for someone to listen to your album?”

“Yes, but no one would stick around. All because we’re ghosts.” Freddie whined as he pouted and crossed his arms over his chest.

“And you were the only one who had any sense of musical taste.” Roger pointed out my Hendrix shirt.  I rubbed the back of my neck and said.

“Yeah, kinda a music geek. Mostly through classic rock. But none of my friends—oh my god my friends! What did—those screams from earlier. What did you guys do to them?!”

“Take it easy lovie, your friends are safe and unharmed.” Roger assured me.

“Really?”

“Yes. I mean minus the fright we might’ve caused them, they’re completely fine. They’re passed out in that van of yours outside right now.” Brian said.

“Though Deacy dear, I must admit you truly traumatized that one young boy earlier. I could barely keep my hold on (Y/n)’s mind to bring her here cause of the screaming you had that boy doing.” Freddie said.

“Who? You mean Jake?” I asked.

“What he did to you back there. It—wasn’t right. If a woman says no, it means no.” John growled softly.

“Thanks John. I’ve tried telling him for years I never once liked him like that, but any chance we’re alone he tries to come onto me. I was getting sick and tired of it.”

“Well not to worries dear, I think from what John did to him, he’ll never bother you again for a long time.” Roger said as he ruffled John’s hair up.  John pushed his hand off his head and he came up to me and asked.

“You sure he didn’t hurt you?”

“I’m fine, really. I’m okay.” He sighed in relief.

“Hey guys,” they all looked at me giving me their full attention. “I—I don’t mean to get personal with you all. But uhh……How did you guys…..forget it. You don’t have to answer it. It’s probably none of my business.”

“It’s not? Then why so interested?” asked Brian.  He didn’t ask it out of annoyance, I could genuinely hear the concern in his voice.

“Well I was gonna ask, how did you guys—you know……”

“Die?” they all said together.  I nodded.

“Well dear as much as we would like to tell you, we can’t.” Freddie said.

“Yeah I get it. I mean if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t either.”

“It’s not that (Y/n).” John said.  I looked at him confused, “See while we remember some parts of our lives as humans. The day we died—that part’s fuzzy.”

“For decades we’ve tried to remember what had happened but every time we try it just—doesn’t come around.” Brian finished.  Oh wow I never knew that that could happen when you become a ghost.  Not knowing how you die and have to remain here on Earth.

“Tell us dear, what all has been said about our deaths?” Freddie asked me as he leaned sat down on the chair and rest his chin on his hand.

“Well there are several theories. The ones I know about are an electrical fire in this studio and you guys being trapped inside.”

“Sounds boring.” Freddie bluntly stated.  The other three looked at him questioningly.

“What else?” asked Roger.

“Well another theory is that someone snuck in and massacred you guys. Some people even go into detail about the homicide and what happened to each of you. I—I was honestly heartbroken hearing that and cried.”

“Aww you sweet thing.” Freddie and Roger cooed.

“A slight alteration to that theory is that it was a—day to day manager you guys had was the one to kill you guys.”

“Oh him. Well we’re proud to say he’s no longer with us anymore.” Roger said.

“I think I remember that he also died along with us. And if he did, he’s right where he belongs cause we haven’t seen him since our death. Thank god.” said John.  I softly smiled before letting out a soft yawn.

“It’s getting late, you should get some sleep.” Brian said to me.

“Where can I sleep at?” I asked.

“You could pick one of our old rooms.” Roger suggested.

“Just hope you don’t mind sleeping on rickety old beds.” Brian softly laughed.  I softly laughed and said.

“Okay uhh…..John do you mind if I take yours?”

“Not at all. Follow me.” I followed behind him and we walked out of the recording studio and back to the main house.  He walked down the steps to the basement and he said, “Just a word of warning, it’s small and it gets colder than the other rooms. You sure you still want it?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” We came to the bottom of the steps and I saw that it was indeed a tiny room. Kinda reminded me of my childhood room when my parents and I were living in a small flat.

“Again I apologize, I didn’t choose this room. Yet I’m bound to it for all eternity.” He said as he placed his hand on the dresser but it went right through it. “Kinda the price for being the youngest and most forgetful member of the band.”

“I never thought that.” He turned towards me. “From the songs I’ve heard on your three albums, your basslines are unique and easily recognizable. Especially this one song uhh—god it’s been awhile since I listened to it what’s it called…..Lies?”

“Liar?”

“That’s it! That solo is phenomenal.” He softly smiled and thanked me.  I walked towards the small bed and tucked myself in suddenly feeling tired than I was before.

“Thanks again for allowing me to take your room tonight John.”

“Anytime. Sleep well (y/n).” I then shut my eyes and finally fell asleep.

*John’s POV*

I don’t know how to explain it.  Normally I’d never allow anyone to try and sleep in my room.  All the humans that have entered this farm whether on a dare or trying to discover the secrets of this place, I’ve made sure to keep out anyone by frightening them away.

But this young girl there was something—familiar about her.  Was she—no. No that’s impossible.  I’m crazy for even suggesting it, there’s no way that’s possible.  It’s a one in a billion chances.  I sat there in the corner of my room and watched her sleep, while trying to make sense on why I’m feeling this strange pull towards her.

*My POV*

2 weeks after that night, the guys actually gave me the Night at the Opera record and I was just amazed by all the songs it had, but my favorite song will always be Bohemian Rhapsody.  But there was another song called ‘You’re my best friend’ (written by John) that had a special connection with me.

Right now I was helping my nana with some reorganizing in the attic when I came across an old box of stuff.  I opened it up and was first greeted with some dust.  I let out a sneeze as I wiped the dust out of my face before pulling out a beautiful wedding dress.

“Nana! What’s this?” she climbed up the stairs and when she saw me, her face grew solemn. She walked up towards me and knelt down beside me.

“Now this is something I haven’t seen in years. This—was my wedding dress.”

“It’s beautiful.” I said as I stroked through the fabric.

“Yeah. But oh did I look like a balloon in it. I was pregnant with your father at the time I got married.” She went through the box and soon pulled out a photo album and opened it up. “See, this was me on my wedding day with—with your grandfather.” I looked down and I was shocked.

There was her and John standing together.  The two of them smiling as the picture was being taken.  Her back to John’s chest and his arms wrapped around her pregnant stomach.

“It was a surprise, the pregnancy. And we were incredibly young but—John praised about becoming a father. But then…….” She stopped and wiped away her tears.

“Nana are—are you okay?” she sniffled and dabbed her eyes and said.

“Yes. Yes poppet I’ll be okay. Sorry. It’s just—so hard, even after over 40 years. He was my best friend, the love of my life. I wish your father talked more about your grandfather to you. Oh he would’ve loved you soo much dear. Spoiled you rotten probably.”

Oh if only she knew. Wow so—my grandfather is John Deacon. Wow that’s—not everyone can say something like that.

“What….what was grandfather like?” I asked her.

“Well, we met way back in 1974 at a Disco club. My friends and I were out for a girls night out when—” she then proceeded to tell me the entire story of how she and granddad met and fell in love.

Hearing it from her own voice, it was like something out of a fairytale.  She and John really did love each other and it seemed like they would’ve stayed together forever had what happened to Queen not occurred.

“Did—the police ever tell you what happened?” I asked her.

“For years I tried to get them to give me an answer. But the case went cold and they just ruled it as accidental. I had to live with that heartbreak ever since. So I raised your father as a single parent because there wasn’t anyone like John Richard Deacon.” I leaned against her shoulder nuzzling her arm.

She wrapped her arm around my head and gave me a soft kiss to my head.  Together the two of us sat there and she told me as many stories as she could remember between her and John.