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#and there were some parts of sleep paralysis
silbeni · 3 days
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Had a veryyy strange dream
#it was one of those looping ones where i would think i woke up but i was still in a dream again and again#and there were some parts of sleep paralysis#in the dream i kept having this dream about me being in a half-life style mod? or something#the mod was very involved and it had a lot of custom assets including locations#i remember telling my brother about the dream in my dream that the assets were nice but some of the models didn't fit the artstyle#despite being textured? bc i they looked too smooth and high quality#there was this one npc that kept coming up to me called mahmoud and he wouldnt do anything. i feel like he spoke but i dont remember anythin#he would be one of those reused civilian models so it was normal that he would show up more than once#but he kept coming up to me all the time. unsettling#then in parts where i would be alone#there was this one area i spawned in that was a desolate dock of some kind#no ships no boats there was just the ocean water this big rock? moutain that the white dock was built into#and there was some sort of gate also on that rock? presumably where there was a base inside. it was closed#i knew i was alone there. instinctively i knew. but this feminine voice kept telling me that someone was looking at me#and this happened several different times#oh also in the parts of the dream where i was 'awake' i would go somewhere and suddenly see mahmouds face again and id be in the dream#in one instance i went to the bathroom. a wierd shower room with pink tiles. we were on vacation or something? anyway his face was printed#on the wall. and it took me back to the game#cool creepy dream in theory#it sounds scary but idk i barely register fear in dreams. i was moreso mad i couldn't wake up#it was very gmod digital horror#unreality
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faintlyof · 1 year
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oh yeah, i had another like...full-length series dream a few days back. i really liked it so i thought about it a long time so i wouldnt forget it all but it was really really long so naturally i dont remember the whole thing. literally, it couldve had a full season of episodes or something. watching All of Us Are Dead reminded me
lets see how much i remember
dream sequence under the cut
i honestly dont remember the very beginning and the dream was laid out very much like a tv show, with details about the start getting revealed way after the fact
but it took place in a large city. a city that grew upward.
one day, an infection started spreading. a zombie-like infection. people tried to escape, but very few could actually make it out of the boundary of the city. people died in droves. absolute carnage as far as the eye could see.
i managed to survive. picking my way through buildings, trying to avoid detection, i somehow made it through the first major wave. at this point, the government had managed to barricade all the entry and exit points to the city. escape was no longer possible.
there were no connections to the outside world. networks were down, though electricity remained in some places.
i came across other survivors and we stuck together, just trying to survive. over time, it nearly became routine. until the helicopter started coming.
thinking it was salvation, survivors rushed to flag the helicopter down, but the helicopter merely dropped some things and left again. the drops typically contained some supplies, some food, some medicine, occasionally a weapon, but sometimes they were completely empty.
once, when some survivors went to greet the helicopter, a hail of bullets greeted them. trust in the helicopter fell further.
my group found a convenience store that hadnt been pillaged or damaged yet and we made a base there. it was so bright inside and the temperature was cool and unchanging. there was a sense of normalcy as myself and another girl contemplated which pasta salad to eat.
one of our guys, a real techno whiz, got to work with the registers computer, trying to see if he could contact the outside world. there were some surveillance files on it. camera footage. he found footage dating back to the day it had all started. that day there had been a network outage. a woman and her daughter had been at the convenience store and when the network went down, the woman had rushed out and left her daughter there. telling her to wait for her to call and tell her it was safe to come home. the girl, already a bit roughed up, paced by the convenience stores phone for hours. the staff tried to fix the phone, but all they could do was wait. the girl rushed out of the store when the screaming started.
there was other camera footage as well. security cameras within the store, around the perimeter, and, with some work, we were able to access other cameras along the same network beyond the store.
thats when we found something unexpected.
some of these cameras were in very interesting locations or pointed to very interesting things. like packs of zombies or groups of other survivors. and there was an external connection we could not access.
that was the first night the helicopter came to attack. they opened fire on anything that moved, zombie or otherwise. children, adults, animals, no one was spared. the helicopter began shooting into buildings as well. windows became the enemy.
we started finding camera that looked as though they had been set up recently. or set up hastily on tripods in various places.
fires started taking down buildings where survivors had made their bases, forcing them to run, often times directly into the waiting zombies jaws. or into the waiting helicopters bullets.
pieces started clicking together. the cameras, the lack of outside contact, the helicopter that sometimes helped and sometimes hurt, the herding into deaths jaws. we were being watched and, more importantly, someone was enjoying the show.
upon this revelation, our dwindling group of survivors decided to try and work our way towards the forest on the outskirts of the city.
as we made our way there, a lone helicopter seemed determined to stop us at all costs. luckily for us, a newer member of our group was ex-military and knew more in detail about this helicopter. most importantly, that this was not the average military helicopter, but a special ops one, equipped with heat-seeking missiles. we needed to disable the cameras at all costs. they could track our movements and predict our actions easily.
one large building became a battleground between the helicopter and one of our members. she was somehow faster than the missiles, but the building went down with her in it anyway. our ex-military guy left us, following a hunch, and told us to keep going and he’d rejoin us. he had figured out where the helicopter was landing and got inside.
there was a broadcast station inside, showing all the remaining survivors, showing the hordes of zombies roaming every inch of the city, showing the high fence that had been constructed just outside the city limits, and showing the hundreds of watch towers and armed personnel standing guard around the fence. names and figures scrolled across some screens, blinking out of existence each time another survivor died.
he made his way to the top floor and found the one office in use. someone was on the phone, talking about how it was almost over. the next day, the armed personnel stationed outside the city would storm in and clear the place with force. there would be no survivors.
he recognized this persons voice. it was a general he had once served under in the military. but there was no recognition is his eyes as our guy put two bullets through his brain.
he returned to us to tell us the news. we went back to the building to check for ourselves, but we knew he was right. in the end, our group had 6 survivors in the end, and as we worked our way back through the city, we picked up another 12 people. we told everyone we came across about our grim fate. soldiers would be bursting through the gates and killing everyone. we decided to take our last moments into our own hands.
we made our way back to the forest where we had hoped to stage an escape from. in this forest, there was a river. this river ran deep and strong and eventually dropped over a cliff and into some underground caves. the drop from the cliff was so far, you could only see a sliver of the water at the bottom. after everything we all had been through, everyone was glad to be able to make this last choice. how would you like to die? by rain of bullets or by quietly slipping into the water? we formed roughly two lines so no one would be alone at the end and, two by two, made the jump from the cliff
i watched six people before me before i worked up the nerve to stand at the edge. my partner and i smiled to the other survivors before jumping.
as i fell, i thought, the air is nice and cool here. it’s so much fresher than the air in the city was. i kept my eyes open and watched the water come to meet me. i braced myself for impact, dying like this would hurt, but only for a moment. instead, i felt myself become warm and the world went white. there was no pain, just that feeling of being held. i wondered how long it would take before it was over. had i hit the water and died already? but i was still thinking about how long it was taking, so maybe i had survived and now i was waiting to run out of air. it was quiet and warm and bright and i didnt feel the need to breathe, but i started to get very comfortable and sleepy.
i thought to myself, if i fall asleep, the nightmare is definitely over. and it was so warm and comfortable, like napping in a sunbeam. i could feel my body slipping into sleep, the feeling so slow it almost felt like falling all over again. ah, this is it, i thought, im dying. just another moment and it would be over.
WAIT, i thought. i didnt really want to die. through the bleary sleepiness, i mentally pushed my eyes back open. this is not my end, i thought loudly.
back in the city, the soldiers hunted down every last survivor and executed them. the zombies were left alone. soon there would be nothing left for the zombies to feed on and they would no longer be a threat. there would be incredible research done on these zombies, so much so that the sacrifice of the hundreds of thousands of people in city, while never directly addressed, was appreciated by those who remained. the footage of the survivors struggles was never released to the public and remained in the pockets of the investors who had taken advantage of the situation, though on occasion, a clip would turn up on some shock site. the city never saw human habitation again.
#tw zombies#tw death#like it was a freaking awesome dream#it wasnt like horror movie scary but like action zombie movie scary#like ahhhh is the zombie gonna kill me or will i escape???#but there were no jumpscares or anythng#like i can see some influence from things ive watched recently#influence from dreams ive had in the past#there was so so much more that i know i cant remember enough about#like the story of the girl and her mother in the convenience store#i dont remember why they needed to use the phone in the shop#like it was probably just dream logic but i wish i could remember#and the part with the girl dodging the heat seeking missiles was freaking awesome#but very very much dream logic#she was like rappelling down the side of the building to take out cameras#and like jumping and swinging around the sides to doge the missiles#v v unrealistic xD#but like i also need to know DID I DIE AT THE END??? because i also dont know???#but dying felt like when i was falling asleep into a sleep paralysis episode#very comfortable but somehow also very wrong#like just close your eyes and sleep dont worry about it youll be fine trust me#and ive fallen for that too many times now sooooo#but like just me thinking it wouldnt be enough to offset the physical bodies death right???#ugh i need a sequel#also yeah the understanding a i have is that the zombie outbreak was unintentional#but the opportunity to study the situation and make some cash dollars off the situation was irresistible#the government recognized the threat and cordoned us off#but the rich thought it a fun little game to bet on who would survive#the military wanted to see how those who survive manage to do so in case it happens again in the future#and it was all excused under the guise of science
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sweetiecutie · 10 months
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Underbed monster! Simon who was absolutely delighted when you first moved in. Such a pretty little thing, so sensitive to subtle change in aura whenever he stirred under your mattress, making you throw a concerned look around your room, trying to figure out what exactly it was that disturbed you. How, he was going to have so much fun with you!
Underbed monster! Simon who just can’t help himself from looming over you while you sleep, carving every smallest detail of your cute face into his memory. Can you blame him tho? Not when you’re all soft and vulnerable before him, smacking and pouting those puffy lips as creature’s presence caused your dreams to take a darker turn. Your fear tasted delightful.
Underbed monster! Simon to whom you’ve woken up quite a few times, looking up straight into those red glowing eyes until your sleep paralysis worn off, this creature disappearing immediately after you finally regained your ability to move. But you never thought too deep into that. After all he was just a figment of your imagination, right?
Underbed monster! Simon who started to grow fond of you rather quickly. He liked it how tidy you were, not intruding his space with empty bottles and whatever else trash - unlike past inhabitants of this house. He quite literally lived for nights when you were restless in your bed, finally giving up and opening a drawer of your bedside, retrieving pink dildo from within. Slowly but surely Simon shifted his diet from negative emotions from the nightmares he was causing to your positive, way sweeter feelings. Oh how delicious your pleasure was, Ghost literally purred while absorbing all the joy every orgasm brought you, your moans being too aloud for you to hear any strange grumbling.
Underbed monster! Simon who finally dared to touch you months after you moved into his place. He picked the perfect moment for it, right when you were on the very edge between reality and daydream, mind barely comprehending what was real and what was not. His black smokey tentacles crawled up from under the bed, slowly making their way to you plastered on your soft mattress, gently wrapping himself around your ankles. You paid no mind, mild coolness felt good against your hot skin, so you didn’t even think into it.
So underbed monster! Ghost shamelessly continued, his tentacles boldly slithering up your shins and then to your plush thighs, soon sliding under the hem of your panties. Wrapping himself around your clit and stuffing your pussy full of his appendages, literally purring at the taste of your pleasure mixed with slick, how blissful your velvety walls felt against him.
The next morning you woke up, only recalling some snippets of embarrassingly good wet dream you had, your cunny strangely sore, slick and overstimulated.
Underbed monster! Simon who has so many delightful and pleasurable things planned for you two, you just wait<3
Part 2 || part 3 || part 4
Requests are open<3
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sashaisready · 21 days
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Starting Over: Chapter 1 - Betrayal
Mob!Bucky x Female Reader
Series Masterlist
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When Bucky throws you out of the house for a betrayal and won't listen to your side of the story, you know the only way out is through - it's time to start over. Maybe this was never going to be your happy ending.
Warnings: Swearing, angst, betrayal, mean!Bucky,
Part 2
Hi! This kinda came outta nowhere lmao. Apologies for the angst, I just needed to do an angsty/sad fic cos I'm in my feels. As always, I appreciate your comments and reblogs. This is a two part series (standalone, not linked to any of my other fics, not the same characters as in Sweet and Sour) second part coming soon...
Wordcount: 3.7k
💔
“I can’t believe you’d do this to me, Doll. After everything we’ve been through? Was it all a lie?”
“Don’t deny it! That’s your voice on the recording! Banner proved your phone was there, it pinged there – we’ve got the proof. Even now you’re lying, you just can’t help yourself, can you?”
You had read about people being too stunned to move or speak, but you always thought it was a little embellished for dramatic effect in books. Surely, you could just push through? Surely shock did not have such a profound effect on your body that it rendered you temporarily paralysed and mute?
But you had calmly walked down the stairs towards the lobby of the house twenty minutes ago and hadn’t moved since. You just stood there now, rigid and dumbfounded, trying to understand how your entire world had just collapsed around you mere minutes beforehand. Now, you got the ‘stunned’ thing. You understood.
The aftershocks of Bucky yelling at you echoed around your head. What had just happened? You’d been sleeping peacefully just before he stormed in your shared bedroom, roaring at you before your eyes had even opened. You’d never seen him like that before. This wasn’t your Bucky, this was work Bucky. The one he’d always worked so hard to keep you from.
Why wouldn’t he listen? What did he mean, the recording? The phone ping? Your skull ached as you tried to make sense of it all. You would never do a thing like that to him. You loved him. You’d die before you purposefully tried to hurt him. Why didn’t he understand that?
You briefly considered going back upstairs, finding him wherever he was in the labyrinth of this house and straightening this whole mess out. Telling him you loved him, and he had to listen. Taking him in your arms, kissing him softly.
But the memory of the look in his eyes, the sheer rage they contained, the hatred that lay there, stopped you.
There was nothing to go back for.
You managed to pull yourself from your paralysis and move towards the hall closet near the front door. Well, it was more like a small room than a closet. An overflow from the walk-in closet just off the master bedroom upstairs. A huge space packed with a selection of Bucky’s jackets and shoes. He liked keeping some of them downstairs, getting the staff to rotate them when he wanted a change. Some of your things sat in there too - a few high-end coats, beautiful shoes. 
Correction, past tense - they were yours. Not now. 
“You’re a liar! You lied to me…Bet you loved spending my money too, didn’t you? Laughing all the way to bank as you sucked me dry…”
You screwed up your face as the memory of his voice flooded you. He was just so angry…he just wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t believe you…
You pushed it all aside and opened the closet door, darting and shuffling through the combined thousands of dollars at your fingertips - the Dior, the Gucci, the Prada. You knew it was in here somewhere.
Then you spotted a flash of red behind one of the shoe racks in the far corner. There she was. 
You moved towards it, grabbing at the red fabric and tugging. It squeezed past the luxury shoes and revealed itself as you pulled it toward you - your faithful red backpack.
A relic of your former self.
No designer labels here, just a bag that had followed you throughout your life - high school, college before you’d dropped out, various apartment moves and vacations. The once-bright crimson colour had faded over time, but it was still sturdy and strong, still TARDIS-like in how much you could pack inside. It stuck out like a sore thumb in the closet against the glamour and opulence. 
You knew how that felt.
You unzipped it and dug through the contents. A pair of jeans, a sweater, a couple of T-shirts and your beaten-up old sneakers. Some pairs of underwear and bras. A few other simple garments. All polyblends and cheap textiles. No fancy labels to be found. No fine silks or luxe fabrics that Bucky had liked to spoil you with. 
This backpack was all you had to your name when you’d moved in here. Funny how life went in circles, because once again it was all you had now.
At the time Bucky had taken it from you and insisted you throw it away - you wouldn’t need it! He’d buy you a whole walk-in closet full of clothes! 
And he did. 
A dizzying amount. More than you could ever wear. A mix of designer labels and custom pieces that fit you perfectly. Fine tailoring and exquisite details. Dresses. Blouses. Pants. Jeans. Organic cotton t-shirts. Skirts of every length. Winter coats that had cost the same as two months of your rent in the city. Underwear sets so pretty and delicate that you were almost too nervous to wear them. 
And accessories, too. Handbags. Jewellery. Shoes. Oh, the shoes. Heels, flats, boots, sandals, sneakers and slippers. Shoes for fancy parties and shoes for hikes. Shoes for the grand vacations. Shoes for just lounging around the house. Shoes you only wore for sex.
All gone, in an instant.
It didn’t matter, anyway. You always told him you didn’t need any of it. And you weren’t lying. You’d never lied to him, despite what he believed now. You were always happiest in sweats and loungewear, you just liked being comfortable and yourself. You just liked being near him.
At the time you’d talked him round about letting you keeping the backpack - nostalgia, you know? You’d had it years, after all.
But he didn’t think you needed it. That was then, this was now. Why keep an old bag when you could get anything you’d ever want? He’d buy you a hundred backpacks, he said, he’d get your initials embroidered, he’d let you design your own, he’d have your favourite designer make you one - especially for you.
But that wouldn’t be your bag. The bag that had seen everything. Your constant companion. 
You persisted. What was one little backpack in a big old house like his? It would take up no space at all. He wouldn’t even know it was there.
He relented eventually, he’d always loved how down to earth and low-key you were. He was fond of your sentimentality. You’d never been interested in his money; you’d kept the love notes he wrote you - not the shopping receipts - but he still liked to spoil you. You deserved it. 
Or so he’d told you then. But it was a different story today. 
The bag had been hastily stashed here in the closet the first day you moved in and had been there ever since, languishing amongst the Italian tailoring. 
Until now.
Part of you wondered if deep down you had always known this day would come. Maybe your gut had sensed it was all too good to be true, and you knew you needed to store a parachute for the inevitable fall. 
You sniffed, wiping away the threat of more tears. There would be time for that later. 
You looked down at the slip you wore, the slinky, silly nightie thing he’d bought you that you’d worn to bed. Not very practical now you’d be out on the street. 
Your brain suddenly switched into survival mode, most likely in an attempt to stop yourself from falling apart, but you couldn’t think about it all now. You needed to find somewhere to stay. And you couldn’t do that in a silk nightdress. 
You quickly shrugged the gown off, leaving it in a tangled pool on the floor of the closet and mentally apologising to Martha who would have to pick it up tomorrow. You grabbed the backpack and pulled on the jeans, a bra, one of the tees and the sweater. You rolled the Dollar Tree socks onto your feet. Kicked on the sneakers. It was all a little musty from being folded up in the bag for so long. But it would do. 
You caught a glimpse of yourself in the closet mirror and gasped. Aside from the wild eyes and tear-stained face, you looked like a version of yourself you hadn’t seen in a long time. Another life.
Hello again.
Next: where to go. The obvious places were Wanda’s or Nat’s homes. And you’d go there. Either would work. Either would welcome you with open arms, being the true friends that they were. Bucky’s betrayal had made you question everything you knew about love, but not the faith in your friends to catch you when you fall. That was unshakeable. 
Maybe you could alternate who you stayed with until you got back on your feet, so you weren’t too much of a burden to either. You just couldn’t face either of them tonight, you needed to be alone. 
You frantically rummaged through the backpack again until you found what you were looking for at the very bottom. You let out a little yelp of relief.
The battered old wallet had seen better days, but it was hanging on. You opened it up and breathed a sigh of relief that you’d never transferred your driver’s license into the Gucci wallet Bucky had given you on that first day. Thanks, lazy past self. It wasn’t like you’d driven much anyway, not with his all drivers on the payroll and the Uber account he’d loaded onto your phone. 
The wallet also contained debit and credit cards you’d never cancelled but hadn’t touched since Bucky gave you your very own black card. It was funny how you used to obsessively count every penny and now you could charge whatever you wanted without a second thought.
Not now, then, you corrected. You needed to get used to your life with Bucky being referred to in the past tense.
“You were working with the feds this whole time, Doll? Is that it? You were all laughing at me? Laughing at how easy it was to let you in? The cute little waitress doing her ‘oh shucks!’ routine, catching me hook, line and sinker?? God I’m such a fucking idiot…”
You stifled a sob, but continued hunting through the wallet.
You thought about your purse sitting out on the side table by the front door. You could take that with you and charge a hotel room it. He probably wouldn’t even notice such a small charge amongst his wealth, and even if he did, he wouldn’t begrudge you a few bucks for a roof over your head for one night. Would he?
No. Enough. 
He had ended it. He had implied you were a leech. He didn’t listen, he didn’t trust you. He didn’t believe you. If he truly thought you’d done what he said…he couldn’t ever have loved you. Not really. 
No more spending his money, even though you never really felt comfortable doing so anyway. The showdown tonight had confirmed your biggest fears - he’d always resented you for spending his cash. You couldn’t live like that anymore. 
Besides, you didn’t want him to know where you were. Not that you thought he’d come after you…but still. 
Fortunately, the wallet had a ream of stale bills stuffed in one of the sections. You exclaimed in excitement; you remembered them now. It had been your last day at your waitress job. You’d quit right before you came over to this place to move in, and Lou had given you the rest of the week’s pay plus tips. You had fought him on it, insisting you didn’t need it - but Lou had asked you to take it. For his sake.
“I want you to be happy, hon’,” he’d told you kindly when you had shared your plans. “And I know you’re a smart girl. But you’re getting mixed up with…a different kinda world. A…different kind of guy. You never know when this might come in handy”.
You’d frowned at him at the time, not quite sure what he meant. But as you stood there in the closet clutching the cash, you sent him a silent thank-you for his foresight. God bless Lou. He was exactly right.
You shoved the money and the wallet back into the red bag and moved from the closet into the hallway. The house was completely silent. If Bucky knew you hadn’t left yet, he’d made no effort to stop you. You admitted that a tiny part of yourself had hoped he’d come after you and admit he’d made a terrible mistake.
But he wasn’t coming. 
You slung the backpack over your shoulder as you headed to the front door. As your hand curled around the handle, you turned and took one last look at what had been your first real home. What you’d hoped would be your last home. 
You looked over at your phone which you’d tossed onto the dresser next to the closet in your panic. You briefly pondered taking it, but it wasn’t yours anymore. You’d buy a burner in the morning and get a new cell plan once you were back on your feet. 
Wow. You were surprising yourself with this pragmatism. But you also knew you were hanging on by a thread.
But the fact was - you’d survived before Bucky, and you’d survive after him, too. You always kept going. You’d been dirt poor before, you could do it again. You’d been alone before, too. You’d been alone most of your life. 
You could do it again.
‘Tenacious’ - that’s what Nat had called you once. You weren’t sure if you agreed with her at the time, but now you wanted to prove her right. You wanted to be the person she believed you to be. 
You already knew it would be much harder now, as you’d had a taste of the other side. How the other half live, as they say. Before, you didn’t know any different - you didn’t know what you were missing. Now you absolutely did. Not just the money…the comfort…but being cared for, being loved. 
On some level, you’d always known this wasn’t going to be your happy ending. You knew deep down that the house of cards would eventually fall, because it always did. 
You just wished you weren’t always right. 
You opened the door and stepped out into the dark.
💔
You walked for thirty minutes towards the city. Bucky lived on the outskirts and most of the journey had been leaving his estate along the single, winding road that led up to his property. None of his men paid you any mind. Not the ones with guns pitched up along the perimeter. Not those waiting in cars half a mile from his house, keeping an eye out for any potential threats as they did every night. They all knew who you were, so word must’ve spread fast. Otherwise they would’ve been falling over themselves to check on you and find out why the boss’ girl was out walking by herself at this time. 
You wondered if Steve or Sam had put a message out on the comms. ‘They’re over. Don’t worry about her anymore’ or words to that effect. Something cold but concise. That’s how this operation worked. 
You’d developed friendships with some of these men. Chatted to them and even brought them coffee when they kept watch on cold nights. You would watch then from the windows and tell Bucky you were worried about how freezing it was out there, and he’d laugh it off and say it was part of their job and they were fine. But they were always grateful when you came out with a thermos, always told you how much it meant to them. 
All of it forgotten in an instant, you were disposable as anything else in Bucky’s empire. You understood that now. Just like when he wanted a new car or a new watch, he’d toss away the old model - then find himself something newer and shinier. 
You walked a little further as signs of civilisation starting to appear and Bucky’s acres of land disappeared behind you. A gas station. A boarded-up strip mall. You were a little frightened walking alone by yourself, but the sheer adrenaline your situation propelled you forward. 
You breathed a sigh of relief when you eventually found a tired-looking Holiday Inn up ahead. A few of the lightbulbs on the neon sign were out, meaning it spelled out H LIDAY INN. A leaky drainpipe dripped a steady stream of water over the entrance. Oh dear. 
But it would do for now. 
You took a deep breath as you went inside and checked in at the front desk, paying for a basic room with your waitress cash. The disinterested receptionist gave you the key card and sighed with boredom, barely looking at you as she barked the directions to your room and resumed Candy Crush on her phone. She didn’t seem surprised to see a lone woman turning up in the middle of the night, arriving to a roadside hotel on foot, paying for two nights in crumpled bills. She didn’t even ask to see your ID. That all gave you a pretty clear idea of what the staff were used to here.
You passed an ancient-looking PC that guests could use, which surprisingly, as it looked like it was last updated for Windows 95, had WiFi. You made a mental note to log on tomorrow to message Wanda and Nat on social media and fill them in …and hopefully get one of them to come pick you up. 
You grabbed some chips and soda from the vending machines then walked towards the elevators. Not quite the glamorous dinner you’d become accustomed too, but it would do. For now.
You hit the button to call the elevator as you slumped against the wall, the exertion of your long walk and the evening finally catching up with you. The elevator creaked and spluttered but it finally got you to your floor. 
You scanned your keycard and swung the room door open, dumping your backpack and snacks onto the wood-veneer desk before flinging yourself onto the double bed. The no-frills basics were worlds away from the fancy hotels you were used to staying in with Bucky, but it was clean and comfortable. And most important of all, it was private. 
“Just get the fuck out. We’re done here so save your tears. Over. Finito. I don’t need some liar in my bed, being sweet to my face then sticking a knife in my back – then not even having the guts to admit to it when she’s caught red-handed”.
Finally alone, you allowed yourself to weep. To mourn the end of your relationship and the man you thought Bucky was, versus the man he turned out to really be. To grieve, to bid farewell to the life you thought you had (and would continue to have) with him, and the way you thought he saw you. It wasn’t just about losing him and tarnishing your memories, it was also grieving for a future and a life you thought you were going to have. 
“I don’t care. You’ll figure something out, sweetheart. You’re just lucky this is all I’m doing after everything you’ve pulled…”
Large, wracking sobs took over your body as you curled up on the hotel bedspread and allowed yourself to feel it all. You ate the chips and drank the soda, barely tasting either. You turned on the TV and let the black and white movie on the one working channel serve as background noise. Fatigue eventually swam over you, smothering you like a weighted blanket.
Soon there were no tears left and the well had finally run dry. Mercifully, sleep finally came for you, and you gave into it without a fight. 
And you slept. And slept. 
💔
Bucky was at his desk looking at paperwork when Steve came back into his home office. He was doing his best to ignore the nauseating rush in his gut, trying his hardest not to think about you and the way your face had crumpled as he confronted you. Most likely it was just your guilt, anyway.
“Barton said the shipment arrived right on schedule, everything accounted for,” Steve advised as he poured himself a shot of bourbon from the small bar setup in the corner of the office. “And Sam’s out at the shipyard, running through the plan with Rumlow”.
He was desperate to address the elephant of the room and ask Bucky how he was holding up, but Bucky had previously insisted nobody bring your name up. So he didn’t. 
“Good,” Bucky replied curtly. “And Stark?”
“All on board. Said we can iron out the details next week”.
“Perfect, thanks”.
Steve nodded, downing the last of his glass as he placed it on the ornate tray and headed to the door.
“Oh, and Steve?” Bucky called out to him.
“Yeah, Buck?” He turned to face his friend.
“Do you….you uh know…where she went? After…what happened?” He asked, the tiniest hint of hesitation in his otherwise firm tone. Most people wouldn’t have spotted it, but most people didn’t know Bucky like Steve did. 
Steve shook his head, “No, Buck. Some of the men saw her leaving on foot a little while ago”.
Bucky swallowed but his face betrayed no emotion, “On foot?”
“Yeah. I guess she didn’t have a lot of options…” Steve shrugged.
Bucky nodded, “Yeah…I guess I just assumed she’d book a cab…or call one of her friends…” he said wistfully as he looked back down at the papers across his desk.
“She left her phone. Scott found it by the front door, next to her purse. I’m not sure she took anything with her, actually,” Steve mused.
Bucky frowned, “No…phone? No…money?”
Steve shrugged, “I don’t think so. But that’s good, right? You said yourself she was probably just playing a long-con to get your money too…”
Bucky’s gaze dropped back to the desk, his grip on the fountain pen he was holding tightened, the nib shaking from the force of his strength.
“You okay, Buck?” Steve asked tentatively as he watched the way the pen shook.
Any hint of vulnerability was immediately snuffed out as Bucky’s eyes snapped back to Steve. 
“Of course. Fine. Let me know what Sam says”.
Steve nodded, “Right. I’ll call him now”.
As Steve closed the door, the pen snapped in Bucky’s hand.
735 notes · View notes
hannieween · 16 days
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moonlight | lights out series
Joshua had not only fallen in love with you, but with the life he had by your side. He just had to learn to find the balance between the life he was so in love with and the life he had worked so hard to achieve.
✮pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader x joshua hong ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut [18+] ✮ aus: theatre director jeonghan, rockstar joshua, polyamorous relationship ✮ word count: 25.3k
› 🎧: limbo – dpr ian | horizon – i.m | hold me – hojean | cheese and wine – dpr live | different – woodz | love scene – baekhyun | take my hand – zerobaseone ‹ note: this song is so cute and perfect | ditto – new jeans | bad sad and mad – bibi → season one — season two — read more › smut warnings under the cut
✮ warnings: sleep paralysis, smut with plot, dom jeonghan, switch joshua, switch reader, alcohol consumption, slight mlm themes, slight dubcon: reader takes care of drunk hannie. reader is on birth control, smoking, corruption kink, dirty talk, unprotected p in v sex, blowjob, handjob, deepthroating, dacryphilia, fingering, creampies, tongue fucking, pussy drunk hannie, squirting, hair pulling, doggy style, rough sex, consensual recordings of sexual intercourse, a bit of cockwarming, vanilla sex, lazy love-making, nipple teasing, couch sex, dirty talk. brat taming: pussy slaps, spanking, edging, praise/degradation kink, light impact play, 1 slap on the cheek. pet names: bunny, beautiful, baby, princess, bad girl, filthy girl (hers), handsome, big baby, (jeonghan) babe, baby, handsome (joshua) ✮ author's note: this is incredibly self indulgent. also, these chapters are getting longer... having to write about two boyfriends at the same time is not for the text-limited posts on tumblr. i'm going to start posting my fics on ao3 too soon... so be on the lookout for that? hehe ✮ author's note 2: there are some instances where the word Bunny and/or Princess are with capital letters and that is to signify Y/N, ok? ok i'm terrible at explaining this .. i just don't like using the Y/N nomenclature. i feel like it pulls me out of the reading ✮ author's note 3: also thanks to @onlymingyus who helped me figure out some scenes! thank you baby 🩵 ✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.
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part iv
The candles were half-burnt, still lit, and sitting on the table with a forgotten charcuterie board and two empty cups of red wine. You had not finished cleaning the table when you got sidetracked by a serious conversation with your boyfriend on the couch.
A conversation that, predictably, ended with a heavy make-out session.
Joshua had to finish packing his suitcase, a thought that he pushed far back into the list of things he needed to get ready before he left for his first tour the following day. The number one priority to him though, was you. Despite the heavy topic of conversation that you both just had, he could match the passion of your kisses quite effortlessly.
It was his last night with you for what would be weeks. He was not sure when he was coming back exactly, since this tour was going to Midnight Haze’s first big tour.
This was a huge achievement. It was something he dreamed about when his band was just a local indie one. Now they were signed. They had their first studio album. And they were going on tour to visit different countries. A dream come true.
However, there was one thing holding him back.
Joshua never thought of himself as a romantic person. Not even remotely. He used to think he was content with being on his own. He never looked for love and made it very explicit with every partner he had. No relationships, no attachments. Only one goal, and he achieved that goal.
But in his journey, he never thought he would fall in laove. He was not expecting you. When he met you and accepted your proposal to have an entirely sexual relationship, he never noticed the warnings in his brain. Joshua blindly gave himself to you.
It shook his world to find you.
He wanted to stay in the coziness of the home you had given him. And to think that you were neighbors for years before you saw and talked to each other… he wondered sometimes what would have happened if you crossed paths differently, would he be here with you?
Involuntarily, his hands gripped your waist tighter, pulling you closer on his lap. You stifled a moan in his mouth, one hand cupping his chin, while the other had slid down his chest, clinging onto to his plaid shirt.
“Babe,” you paused, but he protested with a groan, his hand sliding up to the middle of your back to keep you from pulling away from him. “Josh,” you mumbled in between desperate kisses. “You have to pack your things, don’t you?” you asked, a giggle fleeing between your lips.
You knew already that he had to finish packing, but that did not stop you from starting the make-out session. And he knew you were just trying to tease him because there he was, all riled up, becoming more and more addicted to your lips.
“I have till five in the morning,” he responded with a hoarse voice, his hand left your back to meet your cheek. “Come here.”
The hand clinging onto his shirt flattened between his pecs. “I mean, but you also have to sleep, right?”
“I can sleep on the plane.”
Joshua heard an airy chuckle leave your mouth as his hand cupping your cheek motioned you in for another deep, heated kiss. It was his turn to smile into the kiss then your hand on his chest found the first button of his shirt, slowly and almost meekly undoing it with one hand.
But you broke away, a playful grin curving your lips. “Are you sure though? I can help you pack, and then we continue where we left off?”
He shook his head slightly, getting lost in the features of your face. It was going to be a while before he saw you again like this. Even if you were planning to visit him soon, he could not last a day without holding you. He had to make the most of the time he had left with you.
“I want to be close to you tonight,” he mumbled, holding your gaze. “I can pack later.”
“I just don’t want you to be late,” you replied dismissively, because you wanted the same thing as him just as badly.
Joshua smiled in full endearment of your worry. It was not unusual for you to worry about the smallest of things. “Don’t worry, I’ll just throw a few things in there and that’s it,” he shrugged, a knowing look appearing on his face.
You hated that at once, you shook your head. “Joshua, you need to do it right,” you said in a more serious tone, chastising him a little. But when his smile widened, scrunching his nose, you just pushed his shoulder.
“I will, baby,” he reassured, nodding with his head. “But only if you keep kissing me,” he challenged.
You returned the smile. “And if I don’t?”
He shrugged. “I’ll just finish packing and go to sleep,” he said nonchalantly.
You tried holding his gaze, but then your facial features broke into a pout.
“I’m just teasing you, baby,” he giggled, his eyes turning into half moons as he tipped his head back slightly.
You loved the sound of his giggles, sweet and merry. You could not resist yourself, grabbing his face with your hands to plant a kiss on his scrunched nose, catching him off guard. But he recovered quickly, grabbing your waist again to capture your lips with his own, to continue where you left off.
Your hand returned searching for the buttons of his plaid shirt, feeling the curve of his pecs in the process as you undid each button hurriedly, his shirt parting, leaving his chest in sight. Your heartbeat fluttered at the sound of his breathing hitching, and your hands slid beneath the plaid shirt, caressing the bare skin of his chest freely.
His pectorals bulged, and it was hard not to notice them lately. You knew he had been working out consistently as of late, so when your hands cupped his pecs, he bristled.
“Sorry,” you whispered sheepishly.
“It’s okay,” he reassured with a soft smile. “You can do whatever you want to me.”
“Okay,” you breathed out.
Having the green light, your hands explored his chest beneath his shirt, the pads of your thumbs teasing his nipples lightly. You felt his thighs tensing beneath you when you rubbed his nipples gently, cupping and massaging the soft muscle of his pectorals.
Joshua sat up straight, his hands securing you firmly, so you did not lose balance. In a wordless exchange, your hands slid from his chest to his shoulders and down his arms, thus pushing the sleeves of his shirt off him.
Once he was freed from the first piece of clothing on his body, his hands were on you again. Your fingertips grazed his veiny biceps, tracing a line to his collarbones and then cupped his neck, all the while kissing him heatedly, humming slightly on his mouth every time he outlined your lower lip with the tip of his tongue.
“Can I mark you?” you asked with a breathy tone, your fingers trailing down the soft skin of his neck.
Joshua knew why you asked. As his band gained more traction and recognition, their agency had to hire a PR management company, which instructed the Haze boys to be careful with their image.
“No, baby. You can’t,” he replied with a saddened tone. He hated to say no to you. He also hated to have this pristine poster boy front that he did not care for about at all.
“Mn, okay,” you breathed, not giving him the opportunity to see your full reaction, you leaned to kiss him again.
You broke away from the kiss, but rested your forehead on his, slowly littering him with pecks. One hand left the side of his neck, and Joshua tilted his head back to pay attention to the detour your hand was taking. You tucked your hand behind your back, grabbing the lace tying the back of your dress, and unravelling it with one movement.
In a silent sequence, Joshua gathered the long fabric of your dress that you had worn for the occasion by grabbing the skirt in bundles and pulling it up your body. Your hair got ruffled in the process, and you laughed meekly as your fingers removed the strands from your face and tucked them behind your ears.
But Joshua was caught up in the fact that you had been wearing absolutely nothing beneath the dress he had just discarded on the side of the sofa. He took one look at your naked body sitting on top of him, and then his eyes met yours. “Were you wearing nothing beneath that the whole time?”
You nodded with your head meekly, biting your lower lip to hide your smile. “I thought you’d appreciate it,” you shrugged.
Even though you had been together for months now, a blush still painted your cheeks red in utter shyness. From the night he met you, he has seen you naked, due to the nature of your relationship. It was natural for him to see your shyness then, but now, after all these months, he found it endearing.
“You know I do,” he admitted as you leaned over to latch your lips with his. “You know everything you do drives me crazy,” he purred in between kisses.
His hands explored your back, circling over to clutch at the curve of your waist, knowing that would bring your body alight. You pushed your chest to him, muffling a moan in his mouth, something he returned at once when he felt your pebbled nipples on his skin. A hand pressed on your back, squeezing you to his hard body.
Your fingers found his nape, sliding to tangle on the locks of his beautiful dark hair. He dyed it recently with a dark chocolate tone, bringing back the shadow of the man you met when he used to live right next to your apartment. Your fingernails grazed his scalp, bringing out a salacious moan from him.
The sound reverberated against your chest, sending a chill that ran thick through your body. It only egged you on, your fingers trailed down from his nape to his neck, caressing his skin ever so gently.
The delicate touches left tingling sensations in their wake, slowly driving Joshua crazy. His hands clenched the curve of your waist one more time before finding your ass, cupping it with a raspy groan from his part.
You pulled away from his lips with a rich smacking noise. “Not so fast,” you mumbled with a tilt of your head. A confused look shot through the features of his face, making you clarify: “Not until I get your clothes off.”
Joshua understood where you were going right away. His dark, glinting eyes marvelled at the sight of you, face still flushed, naked and on top of him. He nodded, letting you take his wrists and driving his large hands from your ass to your thighs, where they rested instead.
You grabbed his chin with your fingers daintily, leaning over to place a small peck on his lips. “Good boy,” you whispered. “Now let me get you out of those jeans.”
Completely enamored, he just nodded, heart fluttering uneasily in his chest when you flashed him a cute smile. You placed another kiss on the corner of his lips, fingers pinching his chin softly before you carried on with your task.
You raked his torso with the tips of your fingers, making him draw in a breath sharply at the sensation. “I like you so much,” you mumbled with an airy tone, looking at his figure, the curve of his strong shoulders and biceps.
In your admiring his body, you were not aware of his eyes doing the same thing, outlining every inch, every curve of your body on top of his. “You’re so hot,” you added almost aloofly.
“Ditto,” he mumbled, recalling the times you have exchanged a similar expression. He squeezed your thighs gently, bringing your gaze to meet his. There, in his eyes, you saw the love and adoration he felt for you.
You did not resist the urge to kiss him, so you did exactly that by closing the space between your lips.
“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” he mumbled sweetly, the statement bringing a light chuckle out of you, so he emphasized: “The hottest. I fell for you instantly.”
“Did you?” you smiled.
“Absolutely,” he whispered. “All grumpy at me in your bunny pjs,” he enjoyed the meek smile appearing on your face. “The prettiest… and the hottest.”
You rolled your eyes, but the smile did not disappear. “Shut up,” you mouthed, the aloofness persisted as you ran your hands on his chest, feeling his pecs up. Then he understood that you were entranced, your eyes lost on his nakedness.
“Make me,” he whispered, a knowing smirk spreading on his beautiful lips.
Your smile turned playful, giving him a chaste kiss. “Bad boy,” you whispered, propping yourself on your knees to scoot back a little and then he felt the tips of your fingers on his lower abdomen, making him draw in another breath.
He looked at your fingers tracing a line over the soft hairs of his happy trail, meeting the band of his boxers peeking beneath his jeans. Then he darted a look at your face, finding out that you were biting your lower lip in excitement and anticipation. Your eyes locked with his briefly, the corners of your lips lifting a little right before you tugged at the button of his jeans free.
Joshua smiled slightly when you gave him a rushed, feathery kiss. “Help me?” you whispered, climbing off him and the couch while hooking your fingers on the band of his boxers. He lifted his hips from his seat, as you pulled both his jeans and boxers down his thighs and got rid of them completely.
But instead of climbing back on top of him, you eased down on your knees between his legs. Joshua noticed your eyes widen slightly as you outlined his body, your hands caressing his meaty thighs. He leaned back on the couch, so his head was resting back as he watched you explore his body with your eyes, with your hands.
Joshua was a beautiful man. As you took in the sheer beauty of his body, bathed by the soft orange glow of the lights, you felt lucky of being his partner.
You caressed his thighs with your hands, as he cupped one of your cheeks, making your eyes fall on his bulging biceps and his well toned pecs, the curve that formed beneath them. A half smile tugged his lips when you licked yours.
You held his gaze for a moment, a fluttering sensation invading you in your tummy. Joshua was ready for you, the features of his face relaxing slightly when your hand circled his shaft. You touched him at first, his soft and veiny skin, pumping him gently from the base of his cock to the head slick with precum.
You spread the precum with the palm of your hand all over his cockhead before moving your fist up and down, enjoying the way his gaze darkened, his mouth parted slightly. His lust-filled eyes were trained on you as you leaned down, pressing your lips on the tip of his cock, kissing him playfully.
Joshua smiled lightly at the sight of you, using his fingers to push your hair away from your face. But the smile faded, just as you took his cockhead inside your mouth, licking his precum, humming slightly in delightfulness at the taste of him.
He released a small grunt through his parted rosy lips, you took him deeper inside your mouth, your hand moving to his base to pump him with gentle strokes at first. You bobbed your head slowly, eyes locked on his face to see him responding to you just how you expected.
Joshua closed his eyes, closing his mouth to breathe in slowly. His hand slid from your cheek to the side of your head to thread his fingers through your hair, following the movements of your head on his cock. “Faster… please, baby,” he mumbled faintly.
You followed suit, picking up the pace. You hollowed out your cheeks as you pulled your mouth up to his cockhead, swirling your tongue on his tip. His body tensed on the couch, his nose scrunching as he groaned, gritting his teeth. “Fuck… yes,” he sighed. “Just like that.”
A fluttering sensation invaded you, chest swelling with pride when you heard his raspy, deep grunts escaping him. His fingers coiled around your hair, and his other hand joined on the other side of your head, helping you move on him as you took him in deeper.
Silence had flooded the room, only interrupted by soft, smacking noises and the deep grunts from Joshua. Occasionally, he would cuss under his breath, but his face remained relaxed, lost in the sight of you taking his cock in your mouth expertly.
Joshua loved watching you like this, he loved that you knew every step to drive him absolutely crazy. It was taking everything in him to stop his hips to thrust forward. However, you read his movements, pausing before attempting to take him ever deeper into your mouth, gagging around him as his cockhead reached your throat.
“Careful, baby,” he cautioned, retaking the control. You followed, pausing for breath before you tried to deepthroat him again. He saw your eyes start to water, and his thumb reached to scoop a tear rolling down your cheek.
It was your eagerness to take him whole what made him tip his head back, his throat bobbing as he swallowed a deep moan. “Fuck,” he breathed, feeling the muscles of your mouth relax and contract around his cock. “You’re taking me so well, baby.”
Your movements slowed down slightly and became smaller now that his cockhead reached your throat, you retreated your head slightly and pushed again, drool dripping down his shaft and onto your fist. You kept pumping him, though languidly, all your focus was on your mouth on his cock.
“Oh god,” he moaned, opening his eyes to the sight of you deepthroating him, sucking him whole. “Fuck, I’m coming,” he rasped.  
But then you stopped, carefully pulling your head back. But the change made your eyes water, you coughed a little, breathing through your nose.
His mouth hung open, frowning in confusion. “Why did you stop?” he asked, watching you wipe the drool from your lips with the back of your hand.
You grinned, climbing back on top of him to place a chaste kiss on his lips. “You’re coming when I want you to,” you mumbled sweetly, booping the tip of his nose with your finger.
“Baby,” he rasped chidingly, elongating the final vowel of his protest. But his large hands welcomed you, grabbing your hips as you straddled him.
You giggled, kissing his protruding lower lip as he pouted at you. “You’re cute,” you teased.
His studded eyebrow jumped slightly; you should have known better than playing with him like this. “You think so?”
You nodded with your head, a satisfying look glinting in your eyes. “The cutest baby boy,” you purred, bringing a hand on his nape before kissing him. Your other hand searched for his throbbing cock, blindly guiding it to your sopping wet pussy.
A deep moan vibrated in your mouth when you sank down on him, pausing yet again but now to savor the slight painful but delicious stretch of his cock in your walls. Joshua groaned, dropping his head on the headrest of the couch, his hands kneading on your thighs as if that helped him resist his orgasm.
“Look at you,” you cooed softly. “You look so good like this,” you added, toeing between mocking him and appreciating the sweet features of his face riddled by pleasure.
Joshua gulped hard. His gaze, darkened by lust outlined the features of your face as you rolled your hips on his cock. He could not lie, he loved when you took control, he loved to see you grow confident on top of him.
But with one, sudden movement, he thrusted you onto the cushions of the couch. The non-existent heed for your body made you yelp in surprise. He propped himself on his knees, grabbing the back of yours to press your thighs onto your chest.
“Joshua–,” you tried protesting, your face broken in utter confusion when in seconds, he had torn through your dominance like ripping through a piece of paper.
You braced yourself before it happened. Joshua brought down his hand on your exposed cunt, slapping it firmly. Both excitement and pain shot through your body, making you cry out a loud moan that sounded lewder than anything.
Joshua heard the rawness in your moan and understood right away that you had liked it. He tilted his head to one side, smirking as he asked: “Want more?”
You nodded, a glazed look in your eyes before you closed them briefly. Joshua brought his hand down again, right on your sensitive clit, noticing your arousal smeared on the pads of his fingers. He pushed his fingers between your wet folds, to rub circles on your swollen nub.
You flinched when his hand slapped your cunt, but the sound coming out of your mouth did not convey pain. Your face scrunched up in pleasure, your eyebrows knitted, and glossy lips puckered. “More.”
Joshua stopped rubbing your clit with his fingers, raising his hand once more to bring it down with a harsher slap, enjoying the whiny sound tearing through you. He continued to rub your cunt, getting unbearably harder when he noticed the arousal pooling in your entrance. “Filthy girl,” he whispered, a smirk playing in his lips.
“More,” you demanded, your tone dropping to a question.
But Joshua had removed his hand from your throbbing pussy, his fingers encircling around his shaft, pumping it to smear your wetness all over himself. “You’ll take what I give you.”
He then placed a hand on the arm rest above your head, lowering himself on your body as his hand grabbing his hard cock drove it to your entrance, easing himself inside you in one go, filling you up to the point of bringing you to tears.
An airy moan escaped you, and it was not only because his weight was on top of your legs, crushing your chest almost. It was also feeling his girthy cock stretching your pussy, reaching a spot inside you that had your walls clenching around him.
“F-fuck,” you gritted, pushing your head back onto the cushions of the couch. “Joshua,” you whimpered, grabbing his shoulder with one hand. “S-so deep.”
Tears spilled when you blinked, bringing out a wolfish grin from him. “Who’s cute now,” he purred, starting to slam his hips against you with a fast, near animalistic pace. As much as he loved seeing you try your hand at domming him, he loved even more to be the one in charge.
The depth of his hard thrusts became addictive, like fire consuming you rapidly. You writhed beneath him; the tip of his cock reaching a glorious spot inside you every time he slammed his hips against yours.
“Oh god, Josh…” you said between deep breaths. “I’m coming.”
Joshua smiled like this was a game that he just won. But he nodded, kissing the inner side of your knee. He revelled at the sight of you like this: you were crying, stirring, and whining loudly as your orgasm washed over you, making your walls clamp erratically around his cock.
But he kept thrusting inside you, loving the wet sounds that came from your pussy, the way your moans turned airy and raspy. Your eyes had rolled back, your mouth fell open, and he committed to memorize that image of you.
“Joshua… Joshua…” you whimpered, over and over until you were completely breathless.
He eased one of your legs from your chest, wordlessly commanding you to wrap it around his waist, lowering his hips on you, burying his cock deep inside you again. You moaned languidly; eyes closed as you savored the gentle aftershocks of your orgasm.
Joshua was lost in you. In the midst of it all, the faint reminder that this was your last night together in some weeks made his heart clench. He leaned his head down to press his lips on your forehead, the tip of your nose and your lips.
“I love you,” he whispered, unable to bring his voice any louder.
You hummed in response, opening your eyes to see his face. “I love you, Joshua,” you responded, cupping his cheek with one hand to kiss him deeply.
Joshua rested his forehead on yours, sliding a hand under your nape, his fingers tangling in your hair. He retook the brutal pace of his thrusts, feeling your mouth fall open and he blindly mimicked you. Now you were breathing on each other’s mouths, moaning in unison.
Your hands circled his back, holding onto him for dear life as his thrusts knocked the air out of your lungs. “Baby, don’t,” Joshua rasped when your fingernails started digging on the soft skin of his back, bringing out a raw moan from him. “Oh, you fucking brat,” he groaned in both pain and pleasure as you dragged your fingernails down his back, piercing his skin.
You giggled impishly, and he responded with a grin. You removed a hand from his back, cupping his cheek to pull him into a hot, sloppy kiss. He groaned in your mouth, egging you to kiss the underside of his jaw, the curve of his neck, his throat.
“Fuck,” he whispered when you suckled the sensitive spot on his neck you liked so much. But he did not protest or stop your rebellious marking of his neck and back.
You brought his lips back to yours, kissing him chastely. “A little reminder,” you whispered. “So that everyone knows you’re mine,” you traced a circle with the tip of your finger around the marked spot on his neck.
Joshua moaned, pushing his hips desperately against you. “Leave more,” he gasped. “Mark me,” he whispered out his plea to you, turning his head so you could have an easy access to his neck.
The thought of you being possessive over him drove him crazy, pushing him to lose control on top of you. He rolled his hips against you, moaning salaciously as you marked him up from his collarbone to his throat.
“Fuck, baby. Ah. God, fuck,” he squeezed his eyes, scrunching his nose as his thrusts became sloppy. “I’m coming,” he whispered, dropping his head on your shoulder. He moaned repeatedly, fucking his cum deep into your walls.
He pressed his body on yours gently. You wrapped your legs around him as you both regained energies, enjoying each other’s warmth.
You brought a hand to caress his nape, your fingers threading gently his hair. His face was still nuzzled in the curve of your neck, breathing raggedly on your skin. Then he moved his head and rested it on your chest, humming tiredly but relishing in the gentleness of your touch.
Your hand slid from his nape, now caressing gently over the scratch marks you left. A lazy smile drew on your face when you ran your fingertips over the bumpy lines along the line of his back.
Joshua heard you smile, lifting his head to press your lips with his own in a tender way. “Bad girl,” he whispered playfully. “You’re gonna get me in trouble.”
You arched an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah? I didn’t see a lot of resistance from your part,” you teased.
“How could I resist? You have a very effective method of persuasion,” he smirked, nose wrinkling when you chuckled.
“Do I now? Since when?” 
“Since forever,” he rolled his eyes, laughing at the way your voice raised higher. “And you’ve known it since day one.”
“Mm, I don’t think I did,” you mumbled with a sing-song tone. You did that whenever you flirted with him.
Joshua gave you a sweet smile, one of those that melted your heart. “No? Well, you’ve had me wrapped around your finger ever since.”
Your face took on a more serious look, your gaze fell on his lips. You wished to make this moment longer, to postpone his departure. A dark part inside you, one dominated by greed, wanted to ask him to stay with you.
“I love you,” you whispered, searching his eyes again. You tried to convey with those simple words that you were going to miss him, that you wanted to stay with him in this moment forever.
Joshua read your face, noticing that your mood had dropped a little. “I love you,” he replied, thinking of what to say.
And then, a loud knock came to the door.
You jerked in alarm beneath him, drawing in a sharp breath. “Oh god,” you whispered, stretching your neck to look at the door.
But Joshua did not move.
“Josh, someone’s at the door,” you whispered, your body recoiling again when the knock became louder.
“Pretend we’re not in,” he mumbled, nestling his head on your shoulder again.
You turned to look at him in utter disbelief. “Babe,” you tried to move him with one hand. “Move so that I can see who is knocking.”
“But we’re not in,” he did not move an inch.
But whoever was at the other side of the door was not quitting either, knocking once more with urgency.
Joshua groaned in complete annoyance, pushing his body up with his hands, peeling himself off you. “Wait here,” he commanded, a hand reaching for the blanket on the arm rest and draping it over your body.
You watched him curiously as he put on his boxers and walked up to the door, yanking it open and peering out to the hall. Holding the blanket to your chest, you propped your elbow on the cushions of the couch, trying to get what was happening on the exchange.
Joshua appeared to nod his head, stepping closer to the doorframe as if to cover the interior to the apartment to the eyes of whoever was standing in front of him. He nodded once more, lifting a hand to receive something and closed the door with a sharp move.
He rolled his eyes, exhaling softly as he discarded a piece of paper on the table, walking back to you.
“Who was that?” you asked upon seeing his face scrunched up in annoyance.
“We just got a noise complaint,” he announced. “Another one.”
Your heart dropped. “Why?” you demanded, trying to sit up on the couch but you stopped yourself with a horrified expression: “We can’t have more than two, we’ll get an eviction notice.”
“I know, I know,” he muttered softly, sitting next to you on the edge of the couch. “Relax, baby. We could look for another apartment somewhere else,” he shrugged with ease, but you could tell he was still annoyed.
You gaped at him. “What?” you uttered.
“By the looks of it, they want us out of here,” he explained solemnly.
“Why do you say that?”
“They had a noise complaint printed and ready to deliver it,” he exhaled, pushing his hair back with one hand. “Seems like they were waiting for the perfect moment to do it.”
You eased back, sighing with him. “God,” you frowned. “Well, I don’t like that. We weren’t being loud!”
Joshua arched one eyebrow at your protest.
“Not like other times,” you mumbled sheepishly, but your eyes wandered into the nothingness. Your mind had started to fly through all the possible routes of action.
“Hey,” he mumbled, yanking you away from your thoughts. “It’s okay. We could start looking for an even nicer place, with bigger rooms…” he said, his tone fading off.
“Mmn, yeah,” you replied, not noticing that he had thought of something else.
But he recovered swiftly, patting your tummy gently. “Let’s not think about it right now, yeah?” he suggested, giving you a soft smile. “Let me take care of you.”
He rose to his feet, pushing the blanket off and with great ease, he scooped you from the couch, carrying you in his arms bridal style. You squealed in surprise, but you welcomed the nice act, smiling at him softly.
In the shower, he noticed your dreamy eyes on him. “I wonder,” you asked, bringing a finger to connect the marked spots on his neck and collarbones.
“What?” he asked, finishing to rinse the shampoo from his deep brown hair.
“What your fans might will say about these,” you mumbled, finishing the trail of connected lovebites, the last one sitting bellow his collarbone.
“There’s already a lot of speculation,” he said, grabbing your finger from his chest to kiss the pad.
“Oh? What is it about?”
Joshua shrugged with ease. “It’s mostly a debate between people that think that I have a partner and people that think that I’m a serial fuckboy.”
You snorted at the last bit of the sentence.
“Is that funny?” his studded eyebrow twitched slightly.
“A little,” you mumbled, slipping your arms around his neck. “Serial fuckboy,” you teased with a grin. “If they only knew.”
He rolled his eyes at your teasing. He closed the water tap, being so that you both had finished cleaning up. His hands circled your waist, keeping a hand flatly pressed on your lower back. “They’ll go crazy with their speculations when they see these,” he pointed with his nose to his chest.
“That just comes with the job, right?” you mused, looking at him almost dazedly.
He leaned his face to yours, water dripping down his forehead and the tip of his nose. “I just don’t want them to snoop on what we have together,” he shrugged lightly.
“What if that happens?” you asked on a more serious tone.
His beautiful dark eyes read your face intently, but he just shook his head lightly, placing a kiss on your forehead. “It won’t happen,” he said, his tone lace with promise.
Then he removed his arms from your body, reaching behind you to grab your bathrobe, offering it to you. “You’re pretty sure of that,” you observed as he helped you put the robe on.
“What are you thinking? Do you want to plan?” he offered, darting a look to your face.
You could tell that the topic of conversation made him uncomfortable. He didn't like the idea of the world knowing about you and, quite possibly, ruining your writing career, in which anonymity was a major part.
“I just think that I want to be ready if they find out about our relationship,” you said nonchalantly, exiting the shower and went ahead to towel dry your hair. “If it comes to it, we can handle it. Who knows, maybe it won’t be that bad,” you suggested offhandedly, walking out of the bathroom.
Joshua followed you to the bedroom after wiping himself with his towel. “Wait, you’re not worried about your anonymity?”
“I don’t know, Josh,” you sighed, sitting down on the foot of the bed. You clasped your hands on your towel, pausing pensively. “I think that it’s best if we’re prepared.”
Joshua walked up to you slowly, making your eyes swivel from the wall of the room to meet his gaze. “Why don’t we leave the plans for another night, mn?” he suggested, bringing a hand to your cheek, cupping it briefly.
You nodded, taking in a deep breath. “Alright,” you said.
He pulled a pair of clean boxers up to his waist and turn around to continue packing his bags. You noticed he did this in a near mechanical way, by grabbing the clothes that were already folded from the closet. You drew your legs in and hugged them as you continued to see him finish packing the first of his suitcases.
As Joshua turned to continue with his task, it was then when you noticed his back, red with the marks you left with your fingernails, some of the scratches looked thicker than others. “Oh my god, I marked you up so bad,” you giggled shamefully, bringing a hand to cover your face.
Joshua gave you a confused look, but then he understood. “Is it that bad?” he walked over to the full body mirror you had on one corner of the bedroom, turning to peek to his marked up back.
His eyes fell on you, sitting cross-legged on the bed, one hand covering your face in complete shame. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled.
“It’s not bad, baby,” he decided, turning around to take a few steps toward the foot of the bed where you still sat.
He planted a knee on the edge of the bed, followed by his hands at the same time you laid back, moving your legs for him to slot his body between them.
“I kind of like it,” he said, pressing his lips on the tip of your nose. “I like it when you act all possessive over me,” he smirked. “And I remembered that you have a thing for pain during sex.”
You let out a muffled sigh. “Josh! I don’t think I do,” you countered, but your tone sounded so insecure that it had you smiling shamefully.
“Mn, you bratty little thing, did you like to inflict pain on me?” he purred, enjoying the flustered look on your face. He did not wait for your answer, because he already knew it. “If it makes you feel better, I liked it too.”
“Why don’t we do it more often?” you pried, sneaking a look at his eyes that had your tummy clenching in nervousness.
Joshua had to pause for a second to gather his thoughts. “It’s not the thing that I’m more inclined to do,” he said pensively, his eyelids hooded to look at your face. “And also, I still don’t know how far I can take you.”
“Well then we should try it one day and see,” you offered him a meek smile.
“If you want to, baby,” he whispered, planting a light kiss on the tip of your nose. “Let’s add it to the list.”
Okay, you breathed, noticing the heavy-lidded eyes starting to look drowsy, even his speech had started to become slow and slurry. “Let’s go to bed?” you offered.
Joshua nodded his head slowly. “Let’s go to bed,” he accepted.
You moved on the bed until you reached the fluffy pillows. Scurrying beneath the covers you patiently waited for your boyfriend to occupy his space in your bed. You watched him get beneath the bed sheets beside you, a soft smile drawing on his face when you scooted to him at once.
You had four hours until he had to go to the airport. You saw his phone screen lit up, showing the picture he had of you as his wallpaper. He made no note of your eyes shifting from his phone to his face, he was deep in thought.
“Nervous?” you whispered.
He nodded again, much as if it were sinking within him that these were his last hours of normalcy before he was launched back into the wild-paced life that is being a rockstar.
“You’re going to do great, baby,” you said with a reassuring tone. “I’ll be here cheering you on, watching you.”
A warm feeling poured over his heart. “Once I learn when I have a break, I’ll come see you,” he promised, the feeling in his heart making his tone quiver. “Or I’ll fly you in wherever I’m at.”
Joshua hated how repetitive he sounded. He said this right before he left for his first tour. And you wondered, inevitably, if this time would be different.
“Take things easy,” you mumbled, your speech had started to sound languid too, dragging the words. “I don’t want you to stress yourself over things you can’t control, Joshua. And those you can, take them one at a time.”
Your boyfriend had to pause and let your words take form inside his mind. When he knew what you meant, he nodded. “I’m trying,” he said faintly. He knew you meant well. He did. But he could not help but feel a deep wave of shame wash over him. “I’m trying to get better at this.”
Your eyes dropped. “I know, babe, that’s not what I meant,” you tried to justify, but it was too late. “I–I just mean–I don’t want you to stress yourself too much.” 
He pushed the feeling deep down and nodded. “I won’t, baby. Don’t worry,” he breathed out the words. He shifted under the covers and onto his back. “Come over here,” he motioned you to his chest, and you lied your head on his heart.
You felt his hand searched for yours, and you instinctively held his fingers. He brought your hand to his lips, kissing the tips of your fingers one by one to then kiss your knuckles.
You raised your head a little, planting a kiss on his cheek. “I love you,” you mumbled, drawing his gaze from the darkness to yours.
“I love you,” he mumbled back, pressing your lips with a featherlight kiss. “So much,” he emphasized.
It broke your heart to hold back your true feelings about him leaving. Joshua already looked sad. As though he were mere minutes to leave, not hours. You lied back on his chest, his heartbeat strumming under your ear, bringing you to a quick sleep without you even knowing.
Joshua did not want to leave either. And that thought he carried onto his dreams.
His sleep was interrupted abruptly. A tight feeling trying to choke him was what drove him to snap his eyes open. As his mind gained some lucidity, the bits and pieces of his dream stung his eyes, the tight feeling coiling in his chest giving way to a broken sob.
“Joshua?” you raised your head right away, bringing a hand to touch his cheek. “What’s wrong? Babe?”
It took him some time to realize that he could not move, fear set in instantly, but he held onto the touch of your hands, and the sound of your voice calling his name. First, he blinked the tears away, letting them go unwillingly but his eyes found you, then his hands.
“Joshua, answer me,” he heard you plead, the worry in your tone palpable.
“I’m okay,” he rasped, gulping hard before reassuring, more to himself than to you: “I’m okay.”
“Tell me what’s going on,” you said, not buying his words.
Joshua frowned before he could even understand what you were demanding. He closed his eyes briefly, his eyelids trembled over the tears that threatened to brim in. Fragments of what he saw last flooded his mind and he shook his head, remembering nothing.
“I think it was just a bad dream, baby,” he reassured. But the broken feeling in his chest persisted.
Your thumb caressed his cheek. “You can talk to me,” you mumbled, and when his eyes found your face again, he saw the worry he had heard in your tone.
“I don’t remember anything,” he swore, and he saw your eyes dim. “Let’s go back to sleep.”
You nodded, placing your head back on his chest. Your hand lowered from his cheek, caressing his bare chest.
Joshua heard you release a sigh, and then your body eased back on top of him. The caress of your hand ceased slowly, and then he knew that you had fallen asleep again.
It would not be long before he came back. He would go away from some weeks, then he would come back and leave again; he would have opportunities to come back home to you. To sleeping next to you. Being with you.
But the prospect of not having this frightened him. Joshua had not only fallen in love with you, but with the tiny, quiet life he had by your side. He just had to learn to find the balance between this life he was so in love with and the life he had worked so hard to achieve.
Joshua woke up again to the sound of his alarm, jolting at the frantic stammering of his heart, his fist instinct was to reach for his phone and shut the beeping alarm off.
His arms encircled you again, it seemed as though you had not changed positions, your head was still lying on his chest. You inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of his skin, humming sweetly as his hand found a way beneath your t-shirt, caressing your back.
Not a word was spoken. But there was an unmistakable feeling lingering in the air that you both tried to push away. Joshua met your cheek with his hand, at the same time that you craned your neck to find his lips with your own.
You brushed his hair back with your hand, a low moan coiling in the back of your throat when he wrapped you with one arm, effortlessly pulling your body on top so your front was fully flushed with his.
His hand moved from your cheek to meet the curve of your waist, sliding down to grip your hips from both sides while you moved your knees on each of his sides, straddling him. Your hands cupped his beautiful face, deepening the slow and sloppy kiss.
Both of you hummed at the same time, Joshua’s low, raspy tone only caused you to sit harder on his lower tummy. His hands helped you move down on him, now pressing your crotch to his, swallowing a moan as your tongue outlined his lower lip.
“Josh, we don’t have time for this,” you whispered, a tiny giggle making your words quiver. “We’ll be late.”
“I don’t care,” he responded gruffly, his hand was already searching for your panties, pushing them aside with one finger as you lifted your hips.
Your hand pushed his boxers down, grabbing his cock by the thick shaft. You rolled your hand once, pumping him a couple of times before easing yourself down on him. A strangled moan came out of you once you bottomed out on him.
“Alright?” he whispered, hearing your groan, and recognizing that it was not entirely from pleasure.
“It’s okay,” you replied, bending over to rest your forehead on his. “I’m just a bit sore from last night, that’s all.”
“We can stop,” he offered, his hands tightening their grip on your hips.
You shook your head. “Just give me a minute,” you mumbled shakily.
Joshua nodded slightly. “Kiss me,” he whispered, moving his hand from your hip to your cheek, bringing your lips to his own.
He moaned as your walls tensed and loosened around his cock, your warmth covering him down to his hilt as your arousal started to drip down. Just to feel him hard and buried deep inside you turned you on so badly you kissed him harder, making him moan.
“You don’t have to move,” he rasped when he felt your hips swaying up and down. “We can stay like this.”
“I want to feel you,” you responded quietly, rolling your hips with a fuller motion. You joined your lips with his, slowly deepening the kiss.
Joshua moaned, letting himself be swallowed by your warmth and love, trying to memorize to heart what it feels like being yours. To be loved by you. He closed his eyes tightly, breathing out the euphoric feeling gripping him wholly.
You pulled back for air, your lips making a soft smacking noise when you broke the kiss. “I love you, Joshua,” you breathed, burying your fingers in his mane of dark hair.
“I love you too,” he responded, his voice thickening with emotion. “You can’t imagine how much.”
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Even though it was early in the morning, the airport was busy. As you climbed out of the car, you noticed Joshua’s anxiety kicking in. The posture of his body changed, and his gaze seemed to darken, and it was not only because of the hairs of his fringe tangling with his eyelashes. It was the way he looked around, probably making sure that the coast was clear.
Joshua did this lately. After he made sure that no one had known of his whereabouts, he extended a hand for you to hold. And when you did, he laced his long fingers with yours, pulling you closer as though he did not want you to get caught in the sea of people.
“Do you see Hannie?” he asked quietly beside you, adjusting the mask covering his mouth and squaring his shoulders to shift the backpack hanging on his shoulders.
You shook your head no. In fact, you had not started looking for him until your boyfriend suggested the idea for you.
Finding Jeonghan was quick. And easy. “There,” you squeezed Joshua’s hand with yours and nodded to the man perched on a massage chair.
Jeonghan’s head was lolling to one side languidly, his chest and shoulders shaking as the massage chair worked on his back. Joshua spotted the man as soon as you pointed and changed courses to meet up to him.
“Hey,” Joshua gently budged his shoulder, freeing the handle of his suitcase to do so.
Jeonghan opened his eyes, raising his head to peer under his baseball cap. “Oh, Joshuji,” he giggled awkwardly when his voice vibrated too. “There you are, you two. You’re late.”
“Yeah, you don’t say,” Joshua mumbled dismissively. “Let’s go, Hannie,” he urged the man, budging him another time but firmer, chuckling as he did so.
“Can’t you wait until this thing finishes?” he nagged, but then surrendered quickly when Joshua used his hand again to slap his shoulder. “Ah! Fine, okay,” he sighed, rising to his feet in front of you. “Hi, baby,” he muttered warmly.
“Hi, Jeongjeong,” you smiled at him, seeing his face made your tummy flutter uneasily. His eyes found yours, right before he planted a peck on your lips. His hand brushed your arm gently before he placed one peck on the tip of your nose.
The fluttering feeling intensified, making your breathing ragged. Your eyes shifted to your surroundings, thinking that people would find it weird that you were kissing one man while holding the hand of another man.
But you found out that no one was paying attention to you.
“Come on,” Joshua squeezed your hand gently.
“Okay,” Jeonghan conceded, following you when Joshua pulled you to his direction as he strode to do check his bags. Where you stayed back with Jeonghan as you both waited for Joshua.
“You’re okay, princess?” Jeonghan asked quietly, standing with his arms crossed and closely behind you.
You turned to see his eyes, partly covered by his cap. “Yeah, I’m okay,” you replied flatly, but your lie was made obvious by the way you quickly yanked your gaze from his face. “You know,” you sighed. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”
“Well, it’ll just be a few weeks,” he said in a consoling tone. “And we are going to visit him, we’ll watch him play for the biggest venues, it’ll be fine.”
You searched his eyes one more time. The confidence and reassurance he offered you never failed to do their work.
And he also never failed to read you perfectly well. “It’s not that what’s got you anxious, is it?” he mumbled with a lower tone.
You swallowed your words.
“What happened to trusting him?” he mused, the slightest of smirks playing on his lips. “When did that fly out the window?”
“I’m just overthinking,” you brushed off, sending a glance towards your boyfriend and felt guilty. “I didn’t like doing long distance the first time he went away.”
Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “Again, baby. It’ll be just a few weeks,” he leaned his head to his shoulder, looking at you with gentle eyes. “Don’t be afraid. Let’s just trust him, okay?”
Joshua was walking back to you and Jeonghan, you knew by the look on his face that he needed to go. “The boys are at the gates already,” he mentioned, sighing with heavy reluctance, and looked to you. “I have to go now.”
You nodded, but you could not stop the remorse gripping your heart. “Yeah, okay,” you forced out.
Joshua scanned the features of your face briefly before turning to Jeonghan. They exchanged a meaningful look, making you wish for the nth time to tap into the wavelength they jealously kept to themselves. But you kept your eyes on them as Joshua extended a hand for Jeonghan to clasp firmly.
Joshua pulled him into a hug. “Ah, okay,” Jeonghan muttered with an air of awkwardness, being caught by surprise. “I’ll miss you too, Joshuji,” he coughed up a chuckle.
“Take care, Jeonghannie,” Joshua brought up his hand to pat on his best friend’s head, and something told you this used to be a normal exchange between them.
“Yeah, you too,” Jeonghan darted a look to your face. “Keep in touch, yeah? Don’t be a stranger.”
It was then that you felt some semblance of reassurance. You could feel your own distractions dissipating as soon as you saw the two men you love hugging each other. Joshua was trying to change, so you had to let go of your fears too.
“Course,” Joshua muttered as he stepped back, a weary look in his eyes as these searched you one more time.
You reached out to him just as his arms wrapped you in, once your chest was tightly pressed against his, you let out a tiny sob.
“No, baby, don’t cry, please,” he muttered, turning his face so he could press a kiss on the crown of your head.
You took a big gulp of air to calm your sobs. “I’ll miss you, Josh,” you told him, tightening your arms around his torso.
“I’ll miss you too, baby,” he replied with a strained voice. As soon as he heard your sobs, the sharp feeling returned to grip his heart. “I’ll call you. Every day.”
“Please,” you whispered shakily, moving your face to meet his.
The feeling coiled around his heart tighter when he saw your teary eyes, but you kept yourself steady and strong as you locked eyes with him. Your plea to him was clear, and he nodded to you.
“I promise,” he whispered back, leaning down to press his lips in your forehead.
You grabbed his face with your hands, giving him a quick kiss. “I love you,” you mumbled meekly.
Joshua sighed, smiling at the shyness you displayed. “Kiss me properly,” he giggled into your mouth before slotting his lips between yours.
A warm tingling feeling invaded you, lingering beneath your hot cheeks. The kiss deepened, and even if you were aware of Jeonghan’s eyes on both you and Joshua, you let yourself ease into the kiss, moving your lips on his in a seamless dance.
“I love you,” he mumbled with a sweet smile, leaning to press a kiss on the tip of your nose.
And with that, Joshua released you from his embrace, patting Jeonghan’s shoulder right before turning to walk towards the gates, where he joined the mass of people and eventually disappeared.
Joshua was gone again.
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The ride back home was a strong reminiscent of the first time Joshua left on tour.
The sun was rising, the wet pavement was shimmering with the sunlight and from the rain that washed overnight. The windows of the car were covered with a light layer of mist, you rubbed your hands together, trying to warm them up a little.
You lifted one finger and drew a smiley face on the car window.
“Oi,” Jeonghan jolted you awake. “No drawing on the windows!” he berated you playfully.
You added some rays around the face, turning it into a smiley sun.
“Ah, you little…” he giggled, sliding a hand on your thigh. “So, have you decided what you want for breakfast?”
You shook your head, gaze falling on Jeonghan’s hand parked on your thigh. “I just want to go home.”
“Okay, home it is then,” he mumbled sweetly.
You paused for a second. “I do want blueberry muffins, though.”
“Ah, alright,” he giggled, patting your thigh gently. “Let’s go get muffins, baby.”
You knew that Jeonghan had commenced his plan to distract you from the emptiness of going back to an empty apartment. When you got there, and saw the table cluttered with the stuff from the dinner of the night before, it was not as painful as you thought it would be.
Jeonghan kept quiet at first, helping you remove the cups of wine and taking them to the sink. The glances he sent to check on you continued until he decided you were alright, that your silence was not because you felt sad, and although you did, it was merely because you were going to miss Joshua.
“Do you want coffee?” Jeonghan, his soft voice breaking through the barriers of your mind.
“I’d love that,” you replied, offering him a reassuring smile.
You followed him to the kitchen, putting the rest of the plates in the sink. “Leave that there,” Jeonghan muttered as you reached for the scrub. “I’ll do the dishes.”
“You don’t have to, Hannie,” you said, noticing that he was trying to accommodate to your gloomy mood and do nice things for you.
“But I want to,” he shrugged, but then you saw a light smirk lifting the corners of his pretty lips. “You do the breakfast, though. It’s your turn,” he said, finishing with a broader smile.
“Pff, okay,” you huffed, a smile appearing on your face.
Jeonghan’s eyes lit up, outlining the features of your face swiftly. “And then maybe we could watch a movie,” he offered, trying to hold your gaze for as long as he could. “But then I have to go to work.”
You raised your eyes to his. And he noticed the question written in your face.
“Wanna come with?”
You nodded with your head silently.
“Okay, then,” he breathed in, pressing the button on the coffee maker on. Then he busied himself with doing the dishes, swiftly looking your way as you prepared two omelettes.
A shy smile crept on your face, being scrutinized by his sweet brown eyes just made you feel uneasy. Jeonghan noticed, moving to stand behind you so you would not feel his gaze on you, but then he did matters worse. His arms encircled your waist, hugging you from behind, his chest pressed to your back.
“What?” he asked when you lowered your head, smiling when he pressed a kiss on your shoulder.
“Nothing,” you mumbled, squirming slightly when his breath fanned your nape. “You make me nervous.”
“Why?” he whispered, he looked at your eyes, then your lips.
“I like you,” you replied in kind. You thought it was obvious.
The way his eyes lit up made your stomach flutter with butterflies. “I like you more, princess,” he said, his low tone quivering.
Your cheeks tingled, making you focus back on the stove and served two plates almost in a methodical way. “Do you think it’s strange?” you pried. “That I want to be with two people at once?”
“You know I don’t think so,” he replied matter-of-factly. “If the real question is, do I think people would find it strange, then yes.”
You coughed up a chuckle. “That’s helpful,” you scoffed, but you could not ignore that it had deflated you a little.
“But they’re not us,” you felt him shrug behind you. “What matters is what happens between Joshua, you and me, right?”
“What do you think?”
Jeonghan pondered for a second. He stopped hugging you and took the plates from the counter, turning to set them on the table. "Sit," he nodded to the chair before turning back to grab the two cups of coffee.
You sat down as Jeonghan set a cup down on the table for you and then himself. He then dropped himself into the seat next to you, a hand flipping the visor of baseball cap.
The tips of his ears poked out; his hair tucked behind them. You instinctively reached out to push some lose hairs behind his ear, drawing his heavy lashed eyes to yours.
A small smile appeared on his face as he caught your hand, pressing his lips to the pads of your fingers. Your stomach dropped in nervousness.
“So?”
“I don’t think it’s weird that you want to be with Joshua and me at the same time,” he said, sinking his fork into the omelette. As he chewed on his food, he lifted his gaze to the ceiling, appearing to be formulating his sentence: “I think we haven’t talked about the… more complicated aspects of dating two people at the same time. At least not the three of us.”
“Oh, so you have. You and Joshua?” you raised your eyebrows.
He nodded. “I asked him if he was sure about all of this,” his lips pouted as he chewed.
“What did he say?” you asked slowly.
“Eat,” he motioned to your untouched food, noticing that you were so caught up with the conversation that you forgot to eat your omelette. “I asked why he agreed to this, since he’s the most jealous guy I’ve ever known,” he shrugged, pausing with the piece of omelette in front of his mouth. “He says he doesn’t know why, but he wants this. You know?”
You nodded, chewing on your food.
“But I think we need to have this conversation again, the three of us when he comes back,” he continued, much as if his thoughts had organized neatly in his head. “Because I’m new to this, sometimes I feel like I’m catching up to the two of you.”
“I’m new to this too,” you frowned.
“I mean that I’m sort of… joining the two of you. Joshua and you already have an established relationship,” his eyes flitted around the room. From the two large noise amps that sat on the corner of the living room, to the table beside the dining table covered in photo frames of shots of you and Joshua. His eyes glanced at the shoe rack by the front door, filled with your and Joshua’s shoes before resting on you once more. “I just got to the party.”
You smiled at the way he conceptualized the polycule you have arranged. You set your elbow on the table, resting your head on your fist. “Well, we have time to bring you up to speed,” you smirked at him.
That seemed to catch his attention. His eyebrow quirked up. “Mm, I like to hear that,” he smirked back at you. He looked at your other hand resting on the table and did not hesitate to take it in his, his fingers playing with yours. “When do we start?”
“Today,” you giggled when you did not skip a beat to give him your answer. “You need to get ready because you're going to speed through this, old man.”
Jeonghan laughed, the sound of his chuckles warming your heart. “Oh yeah?” he arched an eyebrow. “What are we going to speed through today?”
“I don’t know what the steps are,” you admitted. “Joshua and I kind of flew through the steps to having conventional a relationship.”
“And I just got here to make it even more unconventional?” he added, smirking playfully.
“Or to make it more fun,” you quipped but then you shook your head. “I don’t know. You could take me out on a fancy dinner. Give me a reason to dress up.”
“Is that step number one?” he asked, enjoying your playful back and forth.
“Oh, no, you’re in like step number five already,” you quipped with a light chuckle.
“Ah, yeah?” he raised his eyebrows. “When did I climb the other four steps?”
You held up a hand and showed him your pointer finger, signaling a number one. “We hold hands,” you held up another finger, signaling number two. “We’ve kissed, multiple times. Three, we’ve slept together, four we’ve had sex–,”
“Multiple times,” he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you’re right. What’s next?”
You shrugged. “You tell me,” taking a big gulp from your cup of coffee.
“I’d like you to meet my friends,” he said, giving you a meaningful look.
Jeonghan gave a lot of importance to his friendships. You knew that even before you met him, since Joshua told you about him, about him being his greatest confidant. So, meeting his friends meant a lot to him.
Your ears perked up at this. “Oh, your friends from work?” you asked, and he nodded with his head meekly. “Let’s do it. I’d love that.”
“Nice,” he smiled with satisfaction. “Step number five.”
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“You’re gonna grow bored,” he commented off-handedly as he held the door open for you.
“That’s why I brought a book with me,” you replied with a sing-song tone. “I don’t really know what you do for your job, so I probably will be paying attention to you.”
“That’s not…” he sighed and dropped his gaze to the ground, smiling shyly. He took your hand, looking at your fingers as you laced them with his.
You laughed in nervousness at your own bad attempts at flirting.
Jeonghan lead you through the establishment. You had been here before, but everything you remembered about the place was a blur. That time you were distraught, your mind was cluttered with thoughts about your big argument with Joshua, and your feelings for Jeonghan.
The interior of the place was beautiful, it struck you along with its quietness. As you followed Jeonghan through its cold halls, you marvelled at the walls decorated with large posters of their most successful plays.
“This way,” Jeonghan whispered, not really noticing that you saw his name plastered on one of the posters. He opened a door to you, showing you to the room that extended bellow you in rows of seats, and large steps that lead to the big stage. “Come on.”
The stage was not vacant, as you initially had expected. A group of people sat in a circle, and some were practicing a choreography in the background, a couple of men pushing a large stage prop to one corner.
It was so packed in fact that no one noticed you and Jeonghan coming in. “Wait here,” he mumbled, showing you to one seat in the front row.
You watched as Jeonghan paced towards the stage, rolling the sleeves of his hoodie up to his elbows. Something encircling his wrist caught your eye, just as he grabbed it to toy with it. It was your scrunchie, and it had been so long since you had seen it that it brought a smile to your face.
You sat down on the seat, closely following Jeonghan. He put himself to work at once, he was handed a tablet and people approached him, you saw him nod and shake his head, then he pointed at the stage lights.
He nodded to the person he was speaking to and seemingly came to an agreement. Then he turned, looking at the tablet in his hands as he approached your seat in the front row.
“Bored yet?” he asked, seating himself beside you.
“The opposite,” you grinned. “What are you doing?”
He lowered the tablet on his thigh. “Just doing a general revision before this rehearsal. We’re closer to putting this show together. These are the final days before the opening show,” he motioned to the table sitting on his lap. “And here I can see which are the scenes we’re going to rehearse, and I know what to oversee.”
You moved your head up and down, slowly. “Interesting,” you noted. “And what scene are we rehearsing today?”
Jeonghan leaned to your side, looking at the screen. “At the gates of Emerald city,” he recited the title scene with a pleased tone. “So, lightings, costume changes, the song, and choreography. Easy.”
You raised your eyebrows at him. “Easy, eh?” you mumbled.
He sucked in a breath through his teeth pensively. “I just have to make sure that everything’s going smoothly, you know?” he smirked. “Imagine I’m the teacher and the class are showing me their homework.”
You laughed, and that brought a big smile to his face. “And that’s all you do?”
“I get the playwright, the writers, the cast, the crew, and the budget,” he listed with a straight face, but you saw the cunning in his eyes. “I call the shots, baby.”
You snorted but drew from his confidence to say: “Alright, chief. Let’s see what you got.”
Jeonghan’s eyes flashed back to you, then to your lips. “Ready when you are,” he mumbled, continuing to lean to you when–
“Director-nim!” a snappy voice called from below one end of the stage. You followed the sound of the voice. The young man was flashing Jeonghan an annoyed look.
“What?” Jeonghan responded, his tone dropping to one you rarely heard on him.
“Yoon Jeonghan! Stop flirting and come here!”
“This guy,” he said under his breath as he stood up. “I’ll be right back,” he told you as he approached the group where the young man was showing him a daring smile.
The phone you stuck between your thighs started vibrating, pulling you out of your focus. Joshua’s name displayed on the screen, along with a photo of him that you took on one of your dates.
“Hi, handsome,” you responded to his call, a smile spreading on your face almost at once.
“Hi, beautiful,” his sweet voice came to your ear a second after. “I just landed.”
“How was your flight? You sound tired,” you noted.
“I didn’t get much sleep on the flight. But we’re on the way to the hotel and hopefully I can sleep before I begin with the promotional activities,” his tone dropped slightly, then he paused pensively before: “I can’t wait till I’m back home. I miss you already.”
A spasm in your chest made you choke out. “I miss you too, babe,” you replied, sneaking a look to Jeonghan walking back to you.
“I’ll call you when I’m at the hotel,” Joshua said. “I have to go.”
“Okay,” you mumbled. “Love you.”
“I love you too, baby.”
Jeonghan sat down beside you again, a knowing look on his face as he motioned a question with one movement of his head. “Everything okay?”
You tucked your phone between your thighs again. “Yeah. Everything’s okay. Josh just landed,” you sighed and looked back at him. “You?”
Jeonghan nodded when he saw your assurance. “These brats were trying to grab my attention,” he said with a hint of annoyance, which was quickly replaced with a cheeky smile. “They want to know who you are.”
“Oh, are they your friends?” you asked, sending a quick glance to the small group of performers gathered to one side of the stage. You caught the eye of one of the men. And you recognized him right away.
Jeonghan leaned back on the seat, crossing one leg as he nodded. “My friends first. Then I tried to get them into castings, and when I got my company settled they were there every step of the way.”
“They seem… fun,” you frowned, paying attention to the commotion that was starting to take place in the small group of Jeonghan’s friends. “I know one of them.”
“Who, Seokmin?” he guessed right away.
“Yeah, he was–,”
“Joshua’s flatmate, yeah. I introduced them,” he smirked.
“And you think it’s okay to introduce them to me like this?” you asked sheepishly.
“Well, we don’t have to give any explanation,” he shrugged. “But I do see how this could be uncomfortable for you.”
“I just don’t want people close to Joshua to think that I’m cheating on him,” you whispered, dropping your gaze to your hands.
Jeonghan stilled. “Yeah, I didn’t think of that,” he sighed with a hint of disappointment. “Maybe we could do this another way.”
Your heart deflated at once. “I still want to meet them.”
He pondered about it for a second. “I don’t want people to think you cheated on Joshua either,” he agreed, pursing his lips. “Tell you what, let’s wait for another opportunity. With a lot more privacy.”
You looked around the theatre room, catching several pairs of curious eyes on both you and Jeonghan. “Yeah, you’re right.”
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After being with him all day in what truly felt like a regular day you would spend with a partner, Jeonghan took you to dinner with him, and went for a stroll, talking about everything and nothing while holding hands.
It had been a nice time, but more pressing matters distracted you: work. You needed to work since the last few days your focus was on enjoying Joshua’s last days at home.
“Are you… staying the night?” you asked as the car turned down the street you lived in.
Jeonghan had one hand on the steering wheel, and the other was clasped with yours. “No, baby, not tonight,” he decided after two long seconds.
“Can I ask why?” you asked with caution.
“I have to do some work early tomorrow. Plus, I don’t have clothes, or a toothbrush,” he replied with a shrug.
You looked at your hands laced together. “You can bring some of your things, so you can stay someday… if you want.”
You hated how tiny and vulnerable you sounded. But you did not want to spend the night alone.
But Jeonghan did not notice, his focus was on pulling to the curb right in front of your building. “I’ll bring some in, baby,” he replied aloofly.
“Okay,” you replied begrudgingly.
But you did not make a motion to exit the car yet, your seatbelt was still put on, your hand still in his. Jeonghan smiled, noticing your reluctance. “Come here,” he breathed, leaning towards you, a pair of fingers slipping beneath your jaw to kiss your lips tenderly. “See you tomorrow?”
“See you tomorrow, Hannie,” you replied with a sweet smile like his.    
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Midnight Haze Rocks the World: New Album Breaks Streaming Records in 24 Hours
Read the headline on your monitor screen. A picture of the three members of Midnight Haze appeared on top of the article published that morning. It was the third day since Joshua left for his first tour with his band Midnight Haze. And as expected, the internet flooded with overwhelming love for their phenomenal skyrocketing to success.
As such, a lot of eyes were posed on Joshua. A deluge of articles and videos were coming out every day, about his personal life, about his artistic process to write his lyrics, and speculations about his lovers.
Joshua was right. There was a huge part of Midnight Haze’s following that suspected he had a partner. And there was an even larger part that suspected that he was no more than a womanizer.
To some extent, it was painful to read some of the things you found online. And as much as you wanted to avoid it, you could not. So you did what you knew best: bury yourself in work.
Midnight Haze Sold-Out World Tour Breaks Box Office Records
It had been ten days since Joshua left.
His texts came less often. Same as his phone calls. Whenever he did call or text, he said he was busy, stressed. But he was trying to keep in touch with you. And that was all that mattered.
Midnight Haze’s Joshua Hong and Mysterious Woman Spark Romance Rumors at Exclusive Event
It was fourteen days since Joshua left. It was becoming more difficult to ignore the headlines and rumours created around him to draw in attention from the public and his fans. Although he seemed more consumed by the fast-paced nature of his job, he still called everyday.
Deciding you had your fill of nonsense you found online, you rested your head in your arm, sighing deeply in exhaustion.
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“Baby, wake up,” Jeonghan’s soothing voice pulled you from your dreams.
You lifted your head abruptly, drawing in a breath. “I’m up,” you blurted sluggishly. “What’s up?”
Jeonghan giggled as you rubbed your eyes. You were in your studio, sitting on your armchair. There was drool smeared on your cheek, as you came to find out when you rubbed your face.
“You fell asleep,” Jeonghan pointed, giving you a kind smile. “Let’s go to bed.”
“When did you get here?” you slurred out. The room had darkened, the only source of light coming from your double monitor idle screens.
“Just got here,” he said, and you had started to notice the hint of concern in his voice. “Go to bed, so you can sleep better.”
You turned to your screen to look at the time. You had been asleep like this for nearly four hours. “Oh no,” you gasped. “I slept for too long. I must keep working.”
“Why?” he asked slowly. “You’re clearly tired, baby. Sleep some more and come back when you feel more refreshed.”
“Mmn,” you pondered his request for a second. You ran your sleeve over the tiny puddle of drool on your desk and looked at him.
Jeonghan was standing beside you, looking at you as if you were a baby in your crib. “You missed here,” he whispered, bringing the tip of his finger to the corner of your lips.
You slapped your hand to your lips, wiping the drool that was there.
He giggled. “Come on, princess, let’s go to bed,” he egged, motioning to the door to the bedroom.
You shook your head. “I want tea,” you pushed yourself from the chair.
“Tsk,” he sighed heavily, but he followed you down the hall, nonetheless.
“I don’t want to hear it,” you mumbled groggily, knowing what was coming.
“You’re overworking yourself again, Princess,” he reprimanded.
“Here we go,” you said in a sing-song tone.
“Just rest for a day!” he suggested with earnest. “You’ll feel better, and probably will get more work done.”
“I can’t rest, the deadline to submitting the first draft is nearer,” you protested as you got to the kitchen, getting to the electric kettle, filling it with water and turning it on. “And I’m nowhere near done this draft.”
“There is nothing wrong with taking a break for one day,” Jeonghan tilted his head to one side, his brown eyes following you. “Just take a break for once.”
You locked eyes with him, now considering his request.
“For me,” he added, the corners of his lips tightening, trying not to break into a smile.
“Pfft,” you scoffed loudly when he finally gave in, laughing merrily at his own cheesy addition. “See, I was considering it, until you said that,” you pointed.
“Please?” he said, bringing a halt to his laughs and his features took on a more serious look. “Just for tonight.”
“Okay. Just for tonight,” you conceded, heart fluttering uneasily when he smiled in victory. “Tea?” you raised your eyebrows.
“Sure,” he muttered, nodding with his head once. He had crossed his arms on his chest, his eyes trained on you as you moved in the kitchen. “Did you stay up writing last night?” he pried.
“And the night before that,” you sighed, handing him a mug of tea with milk. “It’s just not going well.”
“Can I ask why?” he leaned back on the kitchen counter.
“It’s just a writer’s block,” you shrugged, but both of you knew that was not true.
“What is the problem?” he asked again, his tone was gentle, it gave you that cozy sense of familiarity he never failed to give you.
“I just can’t…” you started faintly, toying with the teaspoon. “I’m out of ideas. I planned the whole book, the whole trilogy, but I just can’t string them together. I’m paying too much attention to tiny details, and I can’t get my creativity flowing.”
Jeonghan pursed his lips. “It seems like you have the problem narrowed down.”
“Yeah,” you said dejectedly. “I just can’t solve it.”
“Well, stepping back can help,” he shrugged, flashing you a knowing look. “Maybe you need to… reframe your initial ideas.”
It was reasonable that Jeonghan had experience with this. His line of work is very similar to yours, in some way. Even if he did not always write the plays he directs, he knew what a creative block was.
You rolled your eyes to the ceiling, humming pensively as you tried to retrieve your answer. “I wanted this book to be like a bridge gapping the first and the third book but, now it just feels like I’ve written myself into a corner.”
“Don’t say that,” he protested, leaving his mug aside. “I get that you’re stressed and the deadline and all that,” a hand reached out to grab yours, gently pulling you towards him. “But you’re talented and smart enough to get out of any corner you find yourself in.”
His arm circled on your lower back, and your hand fell on his chest. It brought a smile to your face to hear his words. “Thank you, Jeonghan,” you said. “You’re right. I just focused on the smallest details, now I feel jaded.”
He nodded in understanding. “I know how that feels,” he said, his kind voice lowering a little. “Listen, why don’t we just relax for now? Continue tomorrow, take it one step at a time, see where that gets you.”
You nodded, sighing deeply. “Alright.”
Jeonghan smiled cutely at you, making tiny dimples appear on his chin. “You got this, baby,” he mumbled.
“Thank you, Jeonghan,” you whispered, meekly pushing yourself on your tiptoes to reach his lips with a kiss.
“Don’t thank me,” he breathed, his other hand came up to cup the back of your head, his fingers tangling with your hair. He slotted his lips between yours, and you tasted the sweetness of green tea mixed with sugar in his kiss.
“Mmn,” your hands found his face. Jeonghan’s kisses were always tender, and delicate. Almost as if kissing the petals of a rose. Even during make-out sessions, just as this moment was turning into, he kept his lips gentle on yours.
But he pulled away too quickly, sucking in a breath between his teeth. Dropping his head back, he stared at the ceiling. Jeonghan had been doing this for the past few days: stopping himself before the kissing went too far.
“What’s wrong?” you mumbled.
He shook his head silently, and then he lowered his eyes to meet yours. “Let’s go to bed,” he suggested, taking your hand again.
“Okay,” you whispered, a coy smile appearing on your face.
“Knock it off,” he snapped, but he started smiling too.
“I didn’t do anything!” you giggled as he took you to the bedroom. “What’s with that serious face? I thought you were onto something.”
“Careful, princess,” he cautioned, but you heard the hint of playfulness in his tone.
“Or what?” you smirked as you sat down on your bed and kept your eyes on him as he emptied the pockets of his black sweats on the nightstand. His phone, the keys to his car and apartment, and a green vape pen.
“Or nothing,” he huffed, motioning at the bed. “Are you going to lie down?”
“Yeah, I just…” you saw him lie down on the mattress; legs spread wide open. You sighed.  “I’ll change into pjs,” you announced, a smirk painted on your face as you rose to your feet, stripping your cozy pullover with one movement and then your pants.
“Tsk,” he clicked his tongue and reached for his vape pen, tucking it between his rosy lips. Even as you turned your back to him, you knew his eyes were on your semi-naked body. You sent him a glance to confirm your suspicions were true and smiled.
“Don’t smoke in my bedroom,” you chastised him, but your tone was made insecure by his eyes staring at you.
“I’m not smoking,” he mumbled faintly, and his statement was true. He had not drawn from his vape pen yet, but he kept it tucked between his lips.
You finished smoothing Joshua’s oversized t-shirt over your frame and walked to the bed. Jeonghan watched you crawl to where he occupied the mattress, which was your side of the bed.
“What does it taste like?” you wondered, tilting your head in curiosity.
Jeonghan said nothing, he just handed you his vape pen, matching your curiosity with his eyes. And you took it, you tried to mimic his movements you always saw him do by tucking the tip between your lips. A faint smirk appeared on his face when you sent him a glance and sucked in a breath from the vape pen.
You started coughing at once. The light smoke invaded your throat and coating it with an overly sweet taste, making it impossible to get an actual experience of what Jeonghan was so addicted to. He chuckled as your coughing died.
“It’s slowly, baby,” he instructed, taking the vape pen from your hand gently and motioned your eyes to him. “Like taking a small sip from a straw.”
He took a draw from the vape pen slowly, his throat bobbing as he seemingly swallowed the smoke, and then exhaled it through his mouth and nose.
“Try it.”
You sent him a reluctant look, but took the pen to your mouth, nonetheless. Slowly, you sucked in a breath once again, getting a taste of the green apple flavor that reminded you of Jeonghan. Then you quickly blew the light smoke with your lips.
“That was disappointing,” you mumbled. 
“What did you expect?” he chuckled.
“This is what you’re so addicted to?” you raised your eyebrows, giving the pen back to him.
“No,” he rolled his eyes. “I was that or tobacco. And I just need to keep my hands and mouth busy. This helps,” he signaled to the vape pen.
“Hands and mouth busy, eh?” you smirked.
“Shut up,” he hissed, but a wide smile took over the features of his face.
“Make me,” you whispered, zeroing your eyes on him in a tantalizing way.
Jeonghan paused, the only sign that he was not expecting you say that was a single twitch of an eyebrow. He took a long draw, an even longer one, that went on for seconds, filling his chest out with smoke.
“Come here,” he said, not letting go of even a ghost of smoke through his lips. He extended one arm, his hand cupping your cheek, holding your face inches away from his. “Open your mouth.”
You instinctively parted your lips, just as he exhaled the smoke he had been holding in his chest, pouring it into your mouth. It felt cold, it tasted like green apples, it filled your senses with the taste of him as you exhaled.
Jeonghan sealed your lips with a kiss so soft it had you asking for more. You moaned, a hand coming to hold his face to help you kiss him harder, enticingly. “Princess,” he grunted through your continued attacks with your lips. “You need to rest.”
You pulled away from his lips, looking at him in utter disbelief. “Okay,” you frowned.
Rejected, you lied down on the opposite side of the bed to Jeonghan, turning over so your back was to him. Your heart deflated with pangs of pain at each beat, your mind riddled with questions as to why he was keeping you at arm’s length.
You jolted in surprise when Jeonghan’s arm encircled your waist, nuzzling his face in your hair. Just as he did the last time he slept in your bed.
“Are we just cuddling?” you sulked.
“Yep. Just cuddling,” he mumbled, scooting his body to yours so he could perfectly spoon you.
“Why?” you whispered, closing your eyes to push down the tears trying to sting them. You felt ridiculous.
“You need to rest,” he repeated with a calming tone.
“Jeonghan,” you turned over to see his face. “Did I do something wrong?”
He frowned. “No,” he shook his head. “Why do you say that?”
“You haven’t been… as physical as usual,” you mumbled out with caution. “I’m beginning to think that I’m doing something wrong.”
Jeonghan blinked, an alarmed look settling in the features of his face. “I just wanted to take my time with you,” he said, gentleness coating his words. Once he saw your features relax, he continued: “We started with the wrong foot. I wanted you to get to know me outside of the sexual aspect, you know?”
“But I do know you outside of the sexual aspect,” you blurted. “You’re my best friend.”
As soon as the words left your mouth, you wished to take them back. 
“That’s not…” Jeonghan sighed with a frustrated air. “When you mentioned the steps to a relationship, I thought we could take it slow, and let you know me intimately.”
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, yanking your gaze from his face.
“No, I’m sorry,” he replied in the same fashion. “I never wanted to make you feel rejected.”
You noticed for the first time, how struggling it was for him to speak out his inner thoughts. He was an excellent communicator sometimes, but it was different when it came to his feelings.
“It’s okay,” you reassured, now enclosing the space between you on the bed, so you could entangle your body with his. “But I’m confused. I do know you intimately.”
He shook his head lightly. “You mean as your friend,” he said wearily. “I mean as a boyfriend.”
Your heart stopped, and the moment between you too. In all the past few weeks you have been with Jeonghan, in all the considerations you were trying to bring into the relationship, you somehow thought that was a given.
“Wait,” he blurted, closed his eyes tightly and then: “I want to ask you formally.”
You blinked at him, a smile slowly curving your lips. “It’s okay,” you repeated. “I’d like that, Jeongjeong.”
“You would?” he smirked. “I’m sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve done serious relationships. And I’m old. So, I don’t know what’s in anymore.”
“You’re not old,” you said slowly. “And I don’t know what’s in either, so… Chances are that whatever you have in mind is something I like.”
“Okay,” he sighed, looking more relaxed, but then he pressed his lips into a tight line. “Just so you know, it was never within my intentions to make you feel like I don’t want you.”
“It’s okay,” you reassured with a light smile. “It was just confusing to me why you didn’t want to be physical anymore.”
Jeonghan let out a low chuckle. “Princess, believe me, there’s nothing more I want right now,” he rolled his eyes in shame. “Especially when you undress yourself in front of me, doing those sounds when I kiss you.”
You had to laugh at his face in complete frustration. “Well, if you had said something about it, I wouldn’t have teased you so much,” you pouted.
“Ah, really?” he snickered. “Really, princess? I don’t believe that for a second,” he emphasized.
“Why, don’t I get the benefit of the doubt?”
“Not when you’re both mine and Joshua’s partner, mm-mmn,” he negated with his head on the pillow.
“What is that supposed to mean?” you asked, though pointlessly. 
“You’re a tease,” he said with an obvious tone. “You know what will work on me because it works on him.”  
“Mmph,” you hummed thoughtfully. “You know I don’t see it like that.”
But it did sound familiar to something Joshua said a couple of months ago. It was something that you had started to find very real: Jeonghan and Joshua were so similar to the point it could be eerie. And it did not seem impressive to Joshua that Jeonghan would find you attractive, because he also did.
“Let’s go to sleep,” he said after taking a look at your face.
“Okay,” you conceded, turning over again to be cuddled by his body.
Some moments later, you could still hear him breathing normally. His movements were kept at minimum, but you knew he was still awake. He shifted slightly behind you, you heard the rustle of the bedsheets, when he moved his head on your pillow.
You just closed your eyes, trying to fall asleep but his body behind you was too distracting, your feet bumped into his, the warmth pooling inside your tummy making you smile.
Jeonghan shifted again on the bed, encircling his arm around your waist languidly, now his body fully pressed against yours. You could understand the reason why he struggled to find a position to rest with your body close to his.
“Are you okay?” you breathed.
He blinked, darting a look to your face. “Yeah, I’m just…” he sighed, smiling shyly at you. “You’re very warm.”
“You don’t like it?” you frowned. “We don’t have to cuddle, we could–,”
“I do like it,” he cut in. “That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?” you mumbled, giggling softly at his indecision.
When you went to bed, you had forgotten to close the blinds completely, a faint light coming from the windows painted his face in a pale white color. You could see his eyes properly as he contemplated his answer.
“I don’t think I can wait much longer,” he mumbled, laughing sheepishly at his own demise. “I thought I could, but I guess I’m not so strong when it comes to you.”
Jeonghan had his arm folded and tucked under his head, so that way his eyes lowered to find your face as you turned over, your back pressed against the mattress.
“Well, you’ve been edging me and yourself for nearly two weeks now,” you said, smiling at him as he laughed harder. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I want to be a good boyfriend to you,” he pursed his lip into a pout. But his hand parked on your tummy over your t-shirt.
Your heart stammered in your chest frantically, making your blood rush to your face. “You are a good boyfriend, Jeonghan,” you mumbled, flashing him a cheeky smile. “You can be a good boyfriend and have sex with me.”  
“I–,” he broke into an airy laugh, squeezing his eyes in utter shyness. “Don’t tempt me, princess. You’re tired and haven’t slept well.”
“Mmn, okay,” you said, but you could see it in his eyes: Jeonghan wanted you. His rosy lips parted slightly, his heavy-lidded eyes reading your face. “Come here, baby,” you whispered, sneaking a hand on his nape to pull him to your face.
Jeonghan reciprocated the need of your lips without skipping a second. The strangled sound that coiled in his throat only egged you on, your hands slid from his nape to graze his scalp with the tips of your fingers.
“Call me that again,” he breathed gruffly into your mouth as he repositioned his body on top of yours.
You paused, looking at his face that was now hovering on top of yours. “Baby,” you hummed, an ecstatic shudder shaking you when he saw the fascination flash in his eyes. “Kiss me… please.”
Jeonghan leaned down but stopped before he could reach your lips, a smile broke the features of his face. “You’re going to be the death of me. You know that, right?”
The tip of his nose bumped with yours playfully taunting you before he slotted his pretty lips with yours. You felt the weight of the pillows shifting when he placed his forearms on the sides of your head, caging you in. Blindly, you parted your legs for him just as he slotted himself between them.
He kept kissing you, he never stopped. The softness to which he was kissing you made you drunk, wanting more. “Hannie…” you whispered, turning your head as his lips kissed the apple of your cheek, trailing down to the line of your jaw.
“Tell me what you want,” he mumbled faintly, his breath fanning a spot below your earlobe.
You recounted in your head every sexual experience you have had with Jeonghan so far. Narrowing down what had made you so dissatisfied the last time you had sex with him was easy: there was a lack of connection with him. One that you craved deeply.
“I want you–,” you gasped when his lips reached your collarbone, as he pushed back his body, his hands retreated from your sides, finding the hem of your oversized t-shirt. His hands were cold upon sliding on your tummy. “I don’t care how, just do anything you like.”
A flash of déjà vu hit you hard. Jeonghan lifted his head from the curve of your neck, his long dark hair obscuring his eyes. “Anything?” he asked, tilting his head to one side slowly. “There must be something you need, princess.”
“I don’t know,” you smiled at him sheepishly.
Jeonghan leaned forward, his fingers trapping your chin. “I’ll do anything you tell me to,” he purred right before capturing your lips with his for a shallow kiss. “You call the shots, baby.”
Your breath hitched; his hand came to cup your cheek. “Keep going, please,” you muttered, though it was not necessary, his lips were still on yours, giving you soft pecks.
Jeonghan gave you no verbal reply, but he kept kissing you anyway, each kiss tenderer than the one before. It made you dizzy, the softness that he put with every touch.
“Jeonghan,” you put a hand on the center of his chest, bringing a stop to his sweet kisses at once. His dark eyes locked with yours, giving you the confidence you needed. “Can you be rough with me?”
Upon hearing your request, he stilled completely. “How rough?” he asked, much as if he did not give a second thought to your words, nor pause to ask why. He knew this was what you needed.  
“Just do it,” you asked, your tone waning over the nervousness that kicked right in. “I promise I won’t break.”
“I know you won’t,” he smirked, diving for another shallow kiss, laughing softly at the low grunt you gave him in protest.
Then he kissed you again. Harder this time, showing you how much he had been holding back. Before his touch had been delicate and tender. But now, his kiss was forceful, passionate. He crushed your lips, making you muffle out a moan in his hot mouth. 
“Want me to fuck your brains out, baby?” he rasped, backing away to take a look at your face. The lascivious glint in his eyes was unmistakable, and so eerily familiar.
“Yes, please,” you mewled, your hands snaked from his chest to clutch at his neck.
Jeonghan sighed in your mouth. “You needy little thing. You really are made for us.”
“I am,” you replied in a frenzy, returning each needy kiss he planted in your mouth.
A hand pushed your t-shirt up to your chest, uncovering your tits to him. “Do you know how fucking much I love these?” he rasped, sending you a look before dipping his head to litter your skin with kisses.
His lips attached to one of your nipples, his tongue toying with your pebbled bud, to then suckle at it with a smacking noise. “Fuck-k, baby,” you mewled, your fingers tangling with his long dark hair, giving it a soft tug.
“Mmn,” he searched for one of your hands on his head, grabbing it and driving it to the mattress. No touching, he wordlessly commanded, locking his fingers with yours.
“Sorry,” you whispered. “God, fuck,” you squirmed helplessly, the back of his tongue teased your nipple, swirling around it and suckling at it hungrily.
His free hand fumbled your other breast, his fingers pinching and tugging your hardened nipple as his mouth continued to work on the other, making it sensitive. He detached his mouth with a wet sound, his eyes marvelled at your body for a second as he released your hand.
“Behave,” he conditioned before leaning down again to tease your other nipple with his mouth.
First his lips tugged at it, to then graze at it with his teeth, making a sharp hiss come out from you. You lowered your gaze, finding his. Jeonghan smiled at you, pulling his tongue out to tease your nipple, swirling around it.
You sighed out the pleasure burning within you, sinking in the pillows as your skin prickled. “Please… more,” you mewled, your hands clawing on the bedsheets. “Keep going, Hannie, please.”
The corners of his mouth lifted slightly, but the motion of his tipped tongue did not stop. His hands cupped your tits, making them bulge, and he lowered his face onto your chest. The low grunt that he muffled in your tits told you that he was enjoying sucking at your nipples just as much as you.
You closed your eyes, focusing on the pleasure building in the pit of your tummy, your muscles clenched in response when he sucked harsher, then changed to toy with your nipple with swift motions.
“Ha-hannie,” you called shakily. “I think I’m gonna come.”
For a moment, you thought Jeonghan had not heard you. He made no move, no sound to acknowledge your words. He just kept going: sucking, licking, pinching your sensitive nipples. Drool dripped down on your bumpy skin, the wet sounds Jeonghan made, paired with the low groans he gave you whenever you moaned. 
“Oh god… I’m coming,” you choked out, hands clenching around the bedsheets. Your orgasm flooded within you, it was quick and sweet, and even though the feeling was short, it had you panting. And wanting more.
Jeonghan hummed with satisfaction, leaving a kiss on each of your nipples before meeting your eyes. “Was that a first?”
You recognized where his game was going at once. “Yeah,” you sighed with a meek smile. “It felt good. I needed that.”
“Mn, princess, you’re such a needy mess,” he said gruffly, his hand caressing your bumpy skin over your tummy. “Is that why you can’t write, baby? Too much in your head?”
“Think so,” you replied coyly.
Jeonghan sat back on his heels, contemplating you for a second under the pale light coming from the window. “These need to come off,” he toyed with the band of your wet panties with his lithe fingers.
He hooked his fingers around the hem of your panties, pulling them down your legs with your help, lifting your hips for him.
“No, not that. Keep that on,” he instructed when he caught sight of your hands trying to get rid of your t-shirt.
Then he stretched one arm, reaching for something on the nightstand. Your heart stammered when he grabbed his phone. “Are you ready for this?” he asked, sending you a glance.
“Yeah,” you replied.
The flash of the camera hit your eyes, making you squint at it. But you quickly adapted, seeing Jeonghan’s fascinated face behind his phone as he directed it to your naked body. He caught on video everything he liked to see: your face, your tits smeared in his spit, and your pussy.
“You got so wet, baby,” he mumbled, making a trail with the tips of his fingers from your bellybutton to your mound, caressing it. “Baby needs to be fucked everyday, or she can’t function properly. Right, princess?”
The white light returned to your face, you nodded. “J-jeonghan!”
His fingers continued trailing down, finding your pussy lips spread open. “So fucking wet,” he sighed in awe, dipping one finger in your pooling entrance. “You got like this just by playing with your tits a little…”
Another finger joined in, pushing inside your throbbing walls as the phone captured it in video.
“Jeonghan,” you protested. “Please, just fuck me.”
“Stay still, baby,” his voice was low whenever he gave you a command, and that way you knew not to challenge him again. “I’ll give you what you want if you promise to be good.”
You sighed in frustration. “I promise,” you hated the way your voice sounded.
That seemed to please him. The flash of the camera went off, Jeonghan tossed his phone on the bed near your body, pulling his fingers out of your pussy.
The loss of stimulation had you protesting with a lewd whine. “So impatient,” he tutted. Then he nodded his head at you. “Knees up.”  
His hand pushed on the back of your leg, making your chest compress a little right before he dipped his head to your needy pussy, his tongue swiping a line between your folds. Your muscles tightened under the overwhelming sensation of his tongue licking your arousal, drinking you in.
“Fuck,” you gritted, your hands flew to grab your own legs to keep yourself in place for him.
You heard a muffled laugh, his breath fanning your wet pussy causing you to shiver. The tip of his nose bumped against your clit as his tongue sank inside you, then retreated, only to dive in again, his face pressed flush against you, fucking you with his tongue.
A strangled gasp escaped you, his tongue left your pussy and was quickly replaced by his fingers, slipping them in until he was knuckle deep inside you. But his tongue slid to your clit, teasing it with swift jabs, getting it to swell by teasing it with his lips, tugging and suckling at it.
“Oh, g-god,” your body shook on the bed sheets, your eyes squeezed shut so tight you started to see colors.
The low hum he gave you was paired with one deep intake of breath on his part, breathing you in practically, his mouth unrelenting on your pussy. His fingers kept dragging inside and out of your throbbing walls, delighting himself with moans each time you clenched around him.
“Fuck, Hannie,” you mewled, pushing your head back onto your pillow. “Don’t stop, baby, please…”
Jeonghan pushed his face onto your cunt harder, groaning against you as his fingers thrusted inside you harshly, curving inside your walls and finding that spot effortlessly. Your mouth fell open, pelvis tilting towards his face. All focus, was narrowed to his mouth making out with your pussy, his fingers teasing that spot inside your walls.
“I’m there,” you sighed out. “Jeonghan, I’m coming,” you let out a long cry of pleasure, body shaking on your bed.
Your orgasm washed down your spine, burning inside you. His fingers kept thrusting inside you, his mouth helping you ride your high without stopping for a second to breathe. Just as you were coming down, he detached his mouth from your throbbing pussy, but his fingers did not.
“Jeonghan?” you panted.
His fingers kept teasing that spot inside you, the force from his hand on your cunt had started to make a single vein pop out along his forearm. “Can you give me one more, baby?” he asked, his free hand reaching for the phone he had discarded earlier.
“I… yeah,” you decided, holding your legs to your chest with your hands.
The camera flashed your eyes again. “Good girl,” he whispered, capturing the mess that you were in. It occurred to you that Jeonghan did not want you to remove the t-shirt you were wearing… he wanted to fuck you in it for Joshua to see.
He pointed the camera at his hand pumping in and out of your puffy cunt, the wet sounds coming from it sounded loud and almost dirty. His fingers picked up the pace, now teasing relentlessly inside you, making you gasp and jolt at each harsh jab.
“J-jeonghan!” you cried out.
“Careful, we can’t make too much noise, remember?” he smirked at you.
“I-if you keep going, I’m gonna… I’m gonna–,” you choked out, arching your back on the mattress as the hot liquid spurting from you landed onto his hand and the bed.
Jeonghan smiled, his fascinated eyes flitting from the screen of the phone capturing the mess you were making, to your body writhing on the wet sheets. “Tsk, messy girl,” you heard him say between the loud wet noises and your own breathless moans.
To see him smile sent you onto another wild frenzy. You moaned as his fingers left your throbbing pussy, his other hand tossing his phone heedlessly. Then, Jeonghan grabbed his t-shirt, peeling it off his torso with one swift motion.
“Remind me to put a towel under you next time,” he smirked, using his own t-shirt to wipe your arousal and his own spit from his chin, then his hands.
You sighed, embarrassment heating your face, but you could not deny that you liked this. And Jeonghan saw right through you. He leaned over to you, capturing your lips in a kiss, he smelled of you, and you could taste yourself in his mouth. The act was so dirty it had him swallowing your moans, your pussy clenching around nothing.
“Jeonghan… I want you to fuck me, please,” you whined when he pulled his head back.
“Do you think you deserve it?” he asked, his voice was low and slightly raspy.
“Yeah?” you smiled coyly.
“Why shouldn’t I edge you a little bit more?” he grabbed your legs, wrapping them around his waist, as he pressed his chest against yours, grinding his hips against yours.
The bulge of his hard cock pressed against your cunt. “Jeonghan,” you gasped when he ground against you harder, teasing you. “You’ve been edging me for days now.”
“You said I could do anything I wanted to you,” he smirked, his hand grabbing your jaw before pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. “
“But I want you now,” you mumbled wantonly.
“Don’t argue with me,” he retorted, the glint in his eyes giving away the playfulness behind his actions.
“Stop teasing me, Jeonghan,” you whispered, your hands holding onto his back as he kept rubbing his hard dick against you, smearing your wetness all over his boxers. “Please, I need you, baby,” you whined pathetically.
He dived for another hungry kiss. “God, you’re so fucking needy,” he protested, but his tone made him sound just as pathetic.
“Don’t mock me, Jeonghan,” you bit back. You should not have done that.
The slap came to your face in the blink of an eye, it was swift and painful, but the wave of both excitement and arousal barreled down your spine, making you gasp. Your widened eyes found his face, gaping at him as your cheek tingled.
“I told you not to argue with me,” Jeonghan laughed, and the sound of his laughter sent a wave of shame that burned in your face.  
A low moan escaped you when his hard cock rubbed against your swollen clit. “Jeonghan, please fuck me. Fuck me now,” you pleaded with a whiny tone, ignoring how pathetic you sounded, or felt.  
“That’s it, baby. Beg for me,” he purred, nibbling at your lower lip right before kissing you. His tongue caressed the roof of your mouth, making you whimper at the sensation.
Then you understood what he was doing, he pushed his boxers down, freeing his pretty cock. He grabbed it with one hand, one thumb pressing down his tip, directing it to your pussy. And just when you thought he was finally going to fuck you, he decided to do something else.
“I don’t hear you begging,” he said, fucking his cock between your pussy lips, making his tone waver. A low grunt escaped his lips, and you responded with your own.
“Please,” you breathed.
“Please, what.”
“Fuck me,” you mumbled, regretting the minute you asked him to be mean with you. But you could not lie to yourself, you liked this. You liked seeing his cock glistening wet with your arousal.
“I am fucking you,” he chuckled airily, pushing his hips against you so his tip nudged your entrance, but slipped between your folds.
“I need you inside me, Jeonghan,” you whimpered as his shaft rubbed against your clit. “N-need your cock inside me, please.”
“That’s better,” he sighed, retracting his hips to then sheathe himself inside you with one full thrust. He lowered the upper half of his body to yours, repositioning his arms above your head.
“F-fuck, Jeonghan…” you gritted as his cock filled your walls. You sighed in pleasure, finding his face with your hands to pull him in a kiss.
You saw something flash across the features of his face, making him groan as his lips met yours. “God,” he gasped. “I love how you squeeze around me, baby.”
“Y-yeah?” you breathed pathetically.
“Mmn, yeah. Your pretty little c-cunt feels like magic,” he shuddered in pleasure, grunting in your mouth before kissing you again.
“It’s yours, Hannie,” you replied dazedly.
“I know,” he grinned, his hand finding the back of your knee, pushing it to your side to hold you open for him. “You’re such a needy slut for us, right?”
A wave of arousal tore through you. “Yes,” you breathed. “I am.”
Jeonghan noticed your demeanor, your eyes glazing and mouth parting in utter pleasure. “Wait,” he stilled. “Turn over for me, baby,” Jeonghan pulled his body, sitting back on his heels as you reluctantly turned facedown on the bed. “Ass up.”
Then on your side, Jeonghan handed you his phone, the front camera was already recording. You grabbed it and searched for somewhere to place it, deciding for to put it against the lamp on your bedside table. You saw yourself on the screen and Jeonghan on his knees behind you.
Through the screen you saw Jeonghan sneaking a hand between your body and his, then felt the tip of his cock searching for your entrance. A strangled moan came out of you as he sheathed himself in, a hand pushing your lower back down for you to tilt your pelvis for him.
“God,” he groaned, his head lolling back, grabbing your hips with his hands as he fucked you slowly.
You were too entranced by watching his face through the recording to focus on his cock massaging your walls.
“You feel so fucking good, princess,” he swallowed a moan, making his throat bob. 
“Y-you too, Hannie,” you responded faintly, lowering your face back onto the bed covers to see him through the screen of his phone.
“No, no. I want Joshua to see your face,” Jeonghan rasped, grabbing you by the hair, pulling your head upward with little to no heed for you.
The sheer thought of Joshua seeing this made you clench around Jeonghan’s cock. He moaned in response too, his fingers digging into your skin, squeezing your ass firmly as his other hand kept pulling your hair.
“Jeonghan,” you called breathily, the hard thrusting had you panting already. The rails of your bed banged against the wall with the pacing of his thrusts. “Harder. Fuck me harder.”
Jeonghan laughed, ignoring you completely. He pulled your hair firmly, making sure the camera captured your teary eyes. “Jeonghan, please.”
“Alright, alright,” he conceded, placing his hands on the middle of your spine, pushing your chest onto the mattress. “You asked for it.”
You could no longer see yourself on the video, your face was mushed against the covers, giving you space to cry out as Jeonghan started pounding on you. The brutal pace of his thrusts knocked the air out of you, the sound of skin slapping against each other was the only thing you could hear above your muffled cries.
“Jeonghan!” you forced out, your sweet release flooding inside your body. “Oh, god, Hannie…”
“That’s it, baby,” he rasped. “God. Keep squeezing me like that,” his hands clenched on your ass, switching the motion to his hands, fucking you on his cock instead of moving his hips. “Fuck,” he gritted with a sigh. “Yeah, just like that…”
You gathered yourself, breathing in slowly as you lifted your head. In the screen of his phone, you saw him looking at your body, moving your hips to meet with his languidly.
“Hand me the phone, baby,” he made a motion with his head.
You reached for his phone in your nightstand and passed it to him, turning your head to see what he was doing. He was now pointing the camera lens to your ass, and you knew that he was capturing your messy cunt, filled with his cum as he kept pushing his cock inside you.
He was panting when he tossed the phone one final time. “Are you okay?” he asked breathlessly. “Want more?”
You shook your head. “I’m sensitive,” you admitted. And you were so tired that all you wanted now was to rest in the pleasure he had given you.
Jeonghan nodded, caressing your ass gently before pulling out of you. “Lie down, baby,” he muttered as you just eased onto the bed with a tired sigh. “I’ll bring you something to clean up, hold on.”
The bed shifted around you when he climbed off the bed and exited the bedroom. You closed your eyes, breathing out in pure bliss, enjoying how languid your body was after being pleasured over and over.
You heard him come in. “Turn over for me, princess,” he mumbled with a sweet voice. He had a towel in his hand, soaked in warm water. “What do you need?”
“Sleep,” you slurred out. 
Jeonghan nodded. “Do you have clean blankets?”
“In the closet,” you said, pointing to the double doors in the bedroom.
Jeonghan got a bundle of blankets, spreading them over your naked body to then slip beneath them and next to you. As you searched for his body to hold him, you realized that he had not slept naked with you before.
“Thank you, Jeonghan,” you hummed happily, wrapping your arms around his torso.
“For what, baby?”
“For taking care of me,” you mumbled, your heart swelling with warmth and love. “And for fucking my brains out.”
Jeonghan chuckled, his hand brushing your hair slowly. “Anything for you.” 
“Do you think we’ll get another noise complaint after this?” you asked sluggishly.
“If they come to the door, I’ll deal with it,” he said decidedly. “Sleep for now.”
You lifted your head to give him a kiss. “Goodnight, baby.”
Jeonghan gave you a sweet smile. “Goodnight, princess.”
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“We have a date tonight,” Jeonghan announced the morning after.
“We do?” you asked. “You know, I’d appreciate it if you invite me out with more time in advance.”
“I forgot to tell you last night… you kept me busy,” Jeonghan rasped sleepily, his arm wrapped your back, his fingers trailing gently down your spine.
“So it’s my fault,” you laughed.
“We’ve talked about this,” he slurred out, but a lazy smile spread on his lips. “Everything is your fault.”
“Maybe last night was my fault,” you conceded playfully, lifting your head from his chest. “Where is the date?”
“Mmn, I don’t know, I have to ask,” he mumbled, his eyes were closed but you noticed his heavy lashes shaking slightly.
“Ask?” you inquired.
“It’s a double date,” he explained, peeling one eye open.
“Oh,” you gasped. “With whom?”
“My best friends,” he said with ease, but you knew how this important was to him.
“You have a lot of best friends, baby,” you chuckled.
“Mmn, yeah, you’re right,” he said, his voice was still lazy, but he had gained more lucidity. “These are friends I met in school, while I was getting my degree.”
“Exciting,” you smiled at the way the features of his face were lax in the serenity of his sleep.
“What?” he noticed, his lips pouting slightly as he asked: “What, why are you looking at me like that?”
“I like your face, handsome,” you mumbled sweetly, running the tip of your finger down the bridge of his nose.
Jeonghan looked confused for a second. “I like your face too, beautiful,” he whispered.
The effect his words had on you made you freeze in place. You leaned to plant a small kiss on his lips, which he reciprocated with a low hum.
But then you were turning around, reaching for your phone on your bedside table to check if you had any updates from Joshua. He had replied to your last few texts, telling you excitingly that he had a date for you to visit him soon. And that he could not wait to see you again.
“That reminds me,” Jeonghan sighed, reaching for his own phone on the bedside of your side of the bed.
The videos. As soon as he unlocked his phone, the sounds from the night before flooded your ears: your whiny moans, the sounds of skin slapping together. Jeonghan wrapped one arm around your waist as you leaned your head on his shoulder and watched the videos you recorded together.
You hid your face flush on his shoulder when you saw a few seconds of one of the videos, making your insides twist in utter shame. “Oh god,” you groaned.
Jeonghan rested his hand on the back of your head. “What?” he asked, shifting his face to take a look at yours.
“It’s so…” you made a motion to the video playing on the screen, grimacing at the lewd sound of your moans.
“Hot?” Jeonghan lowered the phone after hitting Send with his thumb, sharing the videos to your boyfriend with nothing else to say in the message, no preamble whatsoever.
“Can I see?” you mumbled, extending your palm.
“Sure,” he deposited his phone in your hand without hesitation.
The videos were saved in a secret folder that he shared only with Joshua, you realized. “You were quick,” you said. He must have created the folder after recording he fucked you in a changing room.
“I don’t want them to fall on the wrong hands, princess,” he muttered, lazily drawing in a breath before yawning.
“Mmn,” you swiped your finger through the set of videos. You saw your face in so many of the frames captured. “Can I have access to this too?”
“Of course, baby,” he giggled sweetly. “I should’ve asked, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you mumbled, aimlessly fidgeting with Jeonghan’s phone. You went back to the main folder where he kept all of the photos he took.
Jeonghan did not stop you, so you dived in the rows of snapped memories. Most of the photos were of himself with his friends, photos you helped him take, photos with you… Joshua.
The tip of your finger chose a photo, almost as if it had a mind of its own. “Where is this from?” you asked.
Jeonghan had chocolate brown hair in the photo, his head leaned on Joshua’s shoulder. The smile plastered on his face was sweet, two fingers in a peace sign held to the camera. Whereas Joshua had a pale bond hair, also smiling and holding a peace sign.
“That was… I think it was one of the first times I saw one of his shows,” he said, coughing a laugh. “He was a complete mess. He wasn’t the confident sexy rockstar you know now.”
“Mmph,” you smirked. “So you think he’s sexy?”
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The restaurant was located on top of a hotel building. The tables were beautifully flanked by water gardens, lamps hanging from the open ceiling, illuminating everything with a warm orange glow.
“They’re usually late,” Jeonghan explained. But this was not said with his nonchalant and characteristic way. He anxiously looked around the tables with a pout on his face.
The air was damp, urging you to fan yourself with your hand in slow, lazy motions. Jeonghan wore a white shirt, unbuttoned all the way through, a white tank top underneath it. His long dark hair tucked behind his cute ears, he chewed on his lip.
“Are you nervous?”
His fleeting gaze fixed on your face. “A little,” he admitted, giving you a meek smile.
“Should I worry?” you raised your eyebrows.
“No, baby, not at all,” he slipped a hand under the table, finding your thigh to five it a squeeze.
“Okay,” you sighed, returning the smile he had given you.
Then you saw a familiar face, something helped by the fact that you had scrolled through Jeonghan’s photos on his phone. It was a friend of both Joshua and Jeonghan’s, but apparently so, Jeonghan had met this person long before Joshua did.
“They’re here,” he announced with a shaky mutter, standing up as the couple approached the table.
Then, with the nervousness that you had never seen in him before, he introduced you to his friends by name, sending you a glance. He probably saw the nervousness mirrored in your eyes, but somehow his confidence was restored upon mentioning that you are his girlfriend.
The man that was introduced to you as Choi Seungcheol blinked from your face to Jeonghan’s one time only. There was something exchanged there, but it was quite obvious that the man was not understanding this. The thought of this going badly set your nerves on fire.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” his girlfriend stepped in quickly, reading the situation too. 
“Baby, why don’t you go with Cheol’s girl to see the water gardens?” Jeonghan cut in, giving you a knowing look.
You paused before nodding with evident reluctance, stepping away from the table, leaving both men to have a moment alone.
“What the fuck?” Seungcheol whispered, looking around the tables to avoid dragging attention in. So he sat down.
Jeonghan returned to his seat too. “What?” he shrugged, pulling out his vape pen from his pocket.
“Why do you have the same girlfriend as Joshua?” as soon as the words left his mouth, Seungcheol grimaced.
“Because she is Joshua’s girlfriend,” Jeonghan replied with faux nonchalance, drawing a long stroke from his vape pen.
“Gimme that,” his friend gritted, yanking the vape pen from Jeonghan’s grip. “Jeonghan, I’m being serious,” he regained some control before asking: “Is she your girlfriend?”
Jeonghan exhaled slowly, trying to keep his heartbeat steady. “Yes, she really is my girlfriend,” he replied. “We’re both dating her.”
Seungcheol blinked, looking at his girlfriend in the distance walking alongside you. You both are looking quite friendly with each other, laughing, and chatting. “So, when you told me that you found someone, you meant…”
Jeonghan hated this, he hated to be open and vulnerable about his feelings. But this was Seungcheol. Jeonghan could not hide from him, and he did not want to.  “We’re all in a relationship, us three… It’s complicated,” he choked up a little, rolling his eyes to the sky. “I love her.”
For a moment, both men were lost in thought.
“Are you happy?” Seungcheol asked.
“I am,” he forced out. That was a lie; Jeonghan was not fully happy. There were somethings he still needed to figure out with you, with Joshua. But in that evening, he felt happy.
“That’s all I need to know,” Seungcheol sighed, pushing his hair back with one hand.
“Good,” Jeonghan agreed. “Can I have that back?”
Seungcheol rolled his eyes, giving the vape pen back. “You know, you’ve always been really weird, you and Joshua.”
This made Jeonghan tilt his head to one side “Weird how?”
Seungcheol shrugged. “I noticed it before but never said anything. When we get together, talking, or playing a game… something always made me think about it. It’s like you two share one mind. It’s creepy.”
“Pffft,” Jeonghan broke into a chuckle. “Alright.”
“What? You move at the same time, you finish each other’s sentences! It’s weird!” Seungcheol protested with a pout.
“Let’s order something to drink,” Jeonghan dismissed, raising one hand to motion for you to return to the table.
As soon as you sat down, you searched his face as he grabbed your hand again. You sent him a questioning look, subtly asking if everything was okay. Jeonghan laced his fingers with yours, giving you a reassuring squeeze with his hand.
And at that, the evening went on. Meeting his friends gave you another insight into his personality, and you were glad to find out that his friends were accepting of you. Soon, you felt a bit embarrassed for being so nervous before, as you realized that Seungcheol and his girlfriend were really understanding.
“Would you share a bottle of red wine with me?” you asked, reading the menu.
“I don’t know a thing about wines. But I trust you,” Jeonghan mumbled beside you. He chewed on his lip, absentmindedly mouthing the words his eyes were going over on the menu.
“You’re okay?” you asked discreetly beside him, darting a glance to the couple sitting across the table.
“Why do you ask?” he replied as quietly, shifting his gaze from the menu.
“You look worried,” you pointed, sending another swift glance. “Something happened?”
“Nah,” he discarded the idea at once. “I’m just thinking what to order, baby,” he said reassuringly, grabbing your hand to nibble at your knuckles with his lips.
“Let me order for you,” you offered, sweetening your voice involuntarily. “Something that goes with wine.”
His eyes triangulated to your own and your lips. “Alright, beautiful,” he smirked. “Impress me.”  
You gave him a badly coordinated wink. “I got you, handsome,” you said, laughing at yourself.
He shouldn’t lie to you, he reprimanded himself with a stab to his heart.
“Oh, shoot,” you muttered under your breath, getting your phone from your handbag. Jeonghan knew who it was before he even thought to glance at the screen. “I’ll be right back. Order, these,” you pointed with your finger at the menu, pressing the phone to your ear.
“O-okay,” he stuttered, watching you leave the table to take Joshua’s call.
Jeonghan hid his reaction behind the menu, but he knew Seungcheol was looking. The man was resting his chin on his hand, and Jeonghan wished that he just spoke what his eyes were trying to say. It would have been better that way, instead of suffering the weight of his dark gaze. 
But he ordered the bottle of wine and pasta that you pointed to before leaving.
The order arrived just as you were returning to your seat. Jeonghan made no question, no comment about Joshua’s call, like he usually did. But instead, he just grabbed your hand, giving it a comfortable squeeze before raising his wine glass and giving it a generous gulp.
Jeonghan made a face.
“What, you didn’t like it?” you asked, taking the glass of wine to your lips.
“It was just a big gulp,” he said with shame in his eyes.
“Small sippy sips,” you indicated, lifting a finger in a knowing expression.
Jeonghan laughed. “Sippy sips,” he repeated, giving you a nod before raising his glass at you. “You’re cute.”
You touched his glass with your own. “Try it again.”
Jeonghan took another sip cautiously, letting the rich taste of wine linger on his tongue as he savoured it. “It’s fine,” he decided, nodding approvingly.
“It’ll taste better with the food,” you pointed at his plate with your fork.
You ignored the two pairs of eyes watching your interaction with Jeonghan, smiling at him as he experimentally took a bite from his plate of pasta, chewing graciously and washing the flavours with the red wine.
“I like this,” he said contently, giving you a loving smile.
“See, I told you,” you replied in kind.
As the minutes passed, Jeonghan began to loosen up. His shoulders slacked, leaning back in his chair as he downed the first glass of wine and pouring himself another without you noticing. The warm glow of the lights above showed the light dewy layer of sweat on his forehead.
“Are you hot?” you asked innocently, setting your empty glass on the table, leaning towards him.
“You are hot,” he replied, breaking into a hearty chuckle.
“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes. “Not here.”
Choi Seungcheol lifted his head, frowning lightly at the pronounced sound of Jeonghan’s laughter, but made no comment. Jeonghan’s lucidity had started to wane, and only a keen eye like Seungcheol’s would notice.
“Let him have fun,” his girlfriend advised him, giving him a gentle nudge with her elbow.
Seungcheol nodded, visibly discarding his worry away with a light shaking of his head. “So… how did you two meet?”
Everyone on the table noticed that the question was good in nature, harmless, but indirectly putting you in a tight spot.
“Joshua introduced us,” you explained, ignoring the groan from the other two displeased parties. “He wanted me to meet his best friend.”
“How does it work?” Seungcheol asked, ignoring the more aggressive jab of his girlfriend’s elbow. “Sorry, I have to ask. I need to know.”
“It’s okay,” you assured. “I realize how this is confusing; it was for me too. But we just work it out. Make sure that it’s all fair for everyone in the relationship. It’s still all new but I’m glad we made this choice.”
Jeonghan placed a hand on your thigh in a subtle gesture of thanks. You eyed him, noticing the light glow in his face, the rosy cheeks, and lips.
“It seems like a difficult choice to make. How did you arrive at it?” now Seungcheol’s girlfriend asked, equally as curious. And you only understood it as them caring out for their friend.
“We had a threesome,” Jeonghan blurted, a bemused smile plastered on his face.
You realized too late, that as the night had worn on, Jeonghan’s demeanor had changed, from being rigid and nervous to being less coherent, and more reckless.
“You’re drunk,” Seungcheol sighed, dropping his forehead onto his palm at Jeonghan’s chuckles. He had been blunt in order to stop them from asking more questions.
“How much did you drink?” you asked him, taking in his flushed face, his glazy and unfocused eyes.
“I don’t know. A whole bottle, maybe,” he admitted with a slurry speech, a light frown on his sweaty face. “I’ll be right back.”
He grinned sheepishly as he excused himself from the table, walking disjointedly to the bathroom.
“I’ll take you home,” Seungcheol told you, motioning to a waiter to bring the bill.
“No, it’s okay,” you shook your head. “I’m okay, I can take his car.”
Seungcheol stilled, cocking one eyebrow at you. “He lets you drive his car,” he pouted sulkily, looking at his girlfriend. “He doesn’t even let me go near the wheel.”
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“Come on,” you struggled to get the tall man through the hallway of his apartment, nearly dragging him into the marbled floors until you reached the master bathroom. You giggled nervously when his shoulder bumped against the doorframe, making him groan in pain.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he mumbled some seconds after, making you think that the alcohol had set deeper in him during the ride to his home.  
“Help me, Hannie,” you giggled at his clumsiness.
“Don’t you laugh, I’m drunk!” he pouted, his eyebrows pushed inwards in a cute frown.
“Sorry,” you sighed with a smile. “You’re a big baby,” you explained, groaning as you helped him sit down on the rim of the bathtub, you swiftly turned the shower on and kicked your heels to one corner of the big bathroom. Jeonghan languidly raised his head to follow your movements, tilting his head back to look up to see your face. “Let me take these off, okay?”
He blinked slowly, taking some seconds in to process your words, biting his lower lip, he nodded.
“Don’t get any ideas,” you whispered, but could not help to also mask your smirk as you worked to get his white shirt off.
Jeonghan smiled, giggling goofily. “Caught me,” he muttered, raising one hand to clutch your wrist, looking now at your arms working to get his clothes off. “You’re very beautiful.”
“Tha-thank you Jeonghan,” you awkwardly replied. “You're beautiful, too.”
That made him chuckle again, slowly, but it was a joyless laugh. “That’s not what you said earlier,” he muttered, raising his arms as you peeled the white tank top off his torso.
“Did I said something earlier?” you asked with genuine curiosity, making a gesture with your hands, motioning him to get to his feet, which he obediently did, but with paused movements.
“Don’t play coy with me,” he tilted his head to one side, his half-lidded eyes now lowered to find your face.
“I’m not,” you blinked, but noticing it was just playful and drunken banter, you continued to undress him. “I–I’m taking your pants off, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, his head bouncing and then he smiled shyly, bristling when your cold fingers slid on his belly, unhooking the waistband of his pants to push them down. “God, I’m so drunk. This is not how I pictured this night going. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you shook your head dismissively. “Are you okay though? Can you step in the shower?”
Jeonghan nodded, wordlessly moving to stand under the shower stream. He let his head hang forward lazily as he seemed to come back to life under the lukewarm water.
“Is the temperature right?” you asked, leaning against the wall, enjoying the sight of him standing upright, and tilt his head back, letting the water shower on his face fully.
His hands pushed his damp hair back, feet stumbling clumsily as he seemed to lose his balance for a second.
“Be careful,” you mumbled, quickly shuffling on your feet to ready yourself to lend him a hand if needed.
“I'm okay, I'm okay,” he tried to reassure you, but your brow did not relax. “I’d be better if you hop in here with me.”
“Jeonghan,” you said chastising.
“Alright, alright,” he chuckled, nodding his head as he washed his face nearly methodically. When he was done, he looked around and said: “Can you pass me that towel?”
You should have known better, from the moment he did not seem to be shutting the tap off, you should have just waited but you dumbly grabbed the folded towel and handed it out to him.
Jeonghan was swift, grabbing you by your arm and pulling you in with such a strength that you nearly stumbled over his body.
“Jeonghan!” you squealed, awkwardly steading yourself before you made him stumble too.
But he seemed to be fine, laughing like a kid playing in the rain, his hands grabbed you firmly by your waist, pulling you to him so you were now pressed to his body.
“That’s better,” he whispered, making you stop in your attempt to step out of the shower and raised your eyes to him.
“You’re crazy,” you half scolded but could not continue suppressing your smile. “I don’t have a change of clothes,” you mumbled, being swiftly swept away by the beauty of the man in front of you.
Now you remembered. You had called him handsome. You called him in the same way you did to Joshua routinely and although he noticed your clear mishap, he liked it.  
“I can lend you something,” he replied, his voice was barely a mumble. “Will you stay here? With me? Please.”
You quickly understood what he was doing, playing the same cards you did on him when you wanted him to stay the night at yours. You smiled at him knowingly and he quickly returned your smile, although his was relaxed.
“Of course,” you whispered, eyelids fluttering repeatedly when Jeonghan swayed your body in a drunken motion, the shower stream washing over you, dampening your hair and dress.
“Good,” he mouthed, pressing a lazy kiss on your mouth. Then his hands moved from your waist to remove the pin from your head, releasing your hair.
“Jeonghan,” you called when he pressed desperate kisses on your lips, trailing down to your chin and then your neck, breathing heavily as if tired. “Hannie, let’s get you to bed.”
“Mmn, yeah, okay,” he sighed, but he did not stop kissing your neck, lips pressing quick kisses. But then in a movement, he lost his balance once again, his body stumbling over, pushing your back against the wall. “Oh, shit, shit. I’m sorry,” his hands held onto the wall to regain some balance.
“Let’s go,” you insisted, blindly finding the tap with one hand to shut it off.
You managed to slip the straps of your dress off, removing the soaked material from your body and stepped off the shower, grabbing the nearest towel from the hanger and wrapped your body, handing the bathrobe to the very drunk Jeonghan who just followed you with his gaze.
“You look troubled,” he mentioned, much as if he could not stop his mouth. “Am I overstepping?”
“No,” you immediately blurted. “No, Hannie, I’m just worried about you.”
“Don’t be,” he muttered, squaring his shoulders as he adjusted the knot of his bathrobe. “I can do this, I’m fine.”
Then he turned to leave the bathroom with a slow pace in his footsteps. “Jeonghan, wait,” you chuckled at his determination.
You followed him out of the bathroom, across his walk-in closet and to his bedroom. Where you were mildly surprised by the minimalism of the space occupied by a lonely king size bed. It was neatly made, the white covers folded by the hem, pillows fluffed.
Then you realized, Jeonghan had not spent a night at his place in a while. He had been spending night after night at yours, just sleeping and leaving the next day for work.
Jeonghan stood by one of the sides of the bed, clumsily getting on it with his hands and knees crawling to slump down on the pillows with a pleased groan.
Hesitant, you approached the other side of the bed, sitting beside his body, thinking that he had already fallen asleep. But he lifted one hand, blindly searching for your body. He first found your hand resting on your lap, then he palmed your thigh, right before he moved his head to rest it there.
“I’m sorry, this wasn't in my plans for tonight,” he mumbled, his cheek was tightly pressed against your towel covered lap, making his words partially muffled.
“It’s okay, Hannie,” you sighed, bringing a hand to caress his wet hair. “I’m beginning to think that you like being babied.”
He chuckled, his body vibrating slightly on his bed. “Yeah, maybe I do,” he replied, moving his face against your body to nuzzle you slightly. “But not like this. I wanted you to have a nice dinner.”
“I had fun tonight,” you replied with a sweet tone, feeling crushed when Jeonghan pouted, turning his head to see you face to face. “I thought your friends were nice.”
“Did you really?”
“Yes, of course,” you smiled at him. “Let me take care of you, yeah?” you muttered, his dreamy eyes blinking confusedly at you. “I’ll dry your hair and get you dry clothes, okay?”
Jeonghan took a long second before nodding with his head in a stiff motion. “Okay,” he conceded.
Once you got him to wear some clothes you found in his closet, he slipped underneath the heavy white bed sheets and covers, motioning you over to his side. Jeonghan was quiet, the kind of quietness that no longer felt welcoming, nor comfortable.
You unwrapped the towel before sliding to his side under the covers, thinking that he was about to fall asleep. But he raised his gaze at you, and your stomach twisted violently when you understood that there was a reason why he had been behaving like this.
“I want to be more than your best friend,” he whispered groggily, struggling to stay awake. “I want to matter to you as much as Joshua does.”
“Jeonghan, that's not what I meant,” you breathed, chest deflating painfully upon finding what the root of his erratic mood was. “I trust you.”
Jeonghan decided that it was best to wait to hatch this conversation again once he was sober. You waited for his answer, but instead, he was surrendering himself to the fatigue that was accentuated by the alcohol.
“Hannie,” you called, but he made no motion. “Talk to me, please,” you whispered, shaking under the stress of thinking that you had hurt him with your actions.  
“It’s nothing, baby,” he whispered languidly. He should open up before he gets worse, he told himself. But Jeonghan was not a person who would confess his feelings first. His ability to think coherently was almost completely gone, and he feared to say something he might regret the next day.
“Are you sure?”
“Let’s talk tomorrow. When I’m sober,” his hand came to your cheek, whispering a sorry when you bristled upon his cold contact.
“Yeah, okay,” you mouthed, wriggling closer to him, where he received you with a kiss on the crown of your head.
But you could not fall asleep at the same time he did. You watched him breathing slowly, his heavy eyelashes tremble in deep slumber. You kept your movements at minimum, as quietly as you could, admiring his beauty without him knowing.
When you could finally fall asleep, you adjusted in his welcoming embrace, letting yourself ease into his warmth and leaving your worries for the following morning.
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Jeonghan groaned, waking up to a light, but throbbing headache. But you were buried beneath the bundles of white covers with him, peacefully asleep, your cheek squished by the hand you kept under it.
He remembered you tend to have a light-sleep when you wrapped your arms around his torso too. “Good morning, princess,” he whispered, sounding gruff.
Your arms tightened around him slightly before you moved your head back to lock eyes with him. You looked tired, but there was a calmness in your entire demeanor that Jeonghan knew that was not because of your recent sleep. It was something else.
His heart sank once again. Did he say something last night? What happened?
But you just pressed your lips against his, humming in delightfulness when he reciprocated the kiss. “I love you,” you whispered.
Shock, relief, joy. Elation. All coursed through him upon hearing you say those words. He knew just how much you had been overthinking, grappling with questions about fidelity, jealousy, hurt feelings and such. So, to hear you finally say it lifted a stone from his chest.
Jeonghan took one look to your face and smiled. “Well, look at that,” he whispered, teasing you. But he could not deny, he was over the moon pressing his smiling lips to yours repeatedly. “I love you too, princess.”
You smiled on his lips. “I'm in love with you,” you reaffirmed, almost as if it was relieving for you too to say it out loud.
Jeonghan laughed in your lips, shyly lifting a hand to cup your cheek. “I know,” he touched your forehead with his own. “I'm in love with you too. I have been for a while,” he whispered nervously.
“I know,” you giggled too. The truth was, whatever Jeonghan thought he felt, you felt it too.
“Mn, I know you do. You made me suffer a little,” he teased, his voice muffled by the closeness to which he kept his lips on yours, pressing them repeatedly.
“It wasn't on purpose, Jeonghan,” you replied with a remorseful tone, pausing the kisses to send you a saddened look.
“I'm joking, baby,” he cupped your cheek, moving his hand to tuck your hair behind your ear. “I wanted to wait for you to be ready.”
“Thank you,” you whispered shakily, denoting on how much this still affected you on an emotional level. “I'm sorry I kept you waiting.”
“I'd do it all over again,” he assured, his eyes reading your facial features slowly, committing to keep the glint in your eyes in his memory.
“I never wanted you to feel shunned,” you confessed, feeling emboldened by the honesty in his eyes, the softness to which he welcomed you in his arms. “I'm still thinking of how to make this relationship fair for everybody.”
“But this is fair,” his brow furrowed slightly, lips pouting slightly as he spoke. “I just wanted to feel reciprocated.”
“I know,” you nodded slightly, still looking at him in his eyes, which had something in his chest fluttering crazily. “I took my time to realize that.”
“It's okay. And it's all better now,” he whispered, leaning so his forehead touched yours once again. “I know this is hard for you.”
You nodded again, taking a deep breath. “Having two boyfriends is difficult,” you confessed.
“Yeah, I imagine. And it must be doubly difficult if both boyfriends are possessive, clingy, and obsessive, right?” he conceded with the smallest of smiles. “Maybe you should leave the thinking on how to make this fair for you to Joshua and I.”
“Mn, that would be nice,” you muttered, but you were quickly swept away by the softness of his lips, the way he hummed in delight as you kissed him repeatedly.
Jeonghan sighed deeply, nearly shuddering with the ecstatic feeling coursing through his veins. “I love you,” he whispered.
Both of his hands came to cup your face, squeezing your cheeks as he pressed more loving kisses on your lips. It made you smile the way his kisses took on a more hurried speed, as if he were trying to convey all his adoration before combusting.
“I love you, Jeonghan,” you replied when he stopped for air, deciding to keep his forehead resting against yours.
“I needed this,” he mumbled in between kisses. “Needed you.”
“I know, baby,” you admitted. “Me too.” 
Your hands searched for him while keeping your lips latched onto his. You found his torso, sneaking beneath his t-shirt. This time, Jeonghan did not protest against your touch, he let you touch his torso freely, roaming the skin of his back with your fingertips. You swallowed one of his moans, shuddering against you. 
“We never finished watching that show,” you muttered aloofly as you continued giving him open mouthed kisses, almost as if you found it impossible to part from his lips, and he very much welcomed it.
“What show?” he hummed, equally aloof, his hands were already on you. A groan tore his chest when his hands found your bare skin and he remembered that he held your naked body through the night.
“Love Island, I think is,” you giggled nervously when his hands pulled you to him just as he turned on the bed, lying flat on his back, with you on top of him.
“You think?” he asked, but none of you were interested on the topic of conversation, you and Jeonghan were all about to keep touching each other, unable to stop the warm, open kisses. “I thought we did.”
“Mmn,” you breathed out as you placed your knees on each of his sides on the bed. “They released another season,” you said right before diving on his lips for a longer, deeper kiss.
“Mn,” his hand cupped your chin, keeping you close with his pointer and thumb on you. “Wanna watch it, baby?” he asked, but his voice had dropped to a low, raspy murmur.
“Yeah,” you breathed out aloofly, then realizing how your voice sounded, you giggled.
“Right now?” he paused, his sweet brown eyes scanning the features of your face swiftly.
“Sounds like you have a better plan,” you quipped, running the tip of your finger down one of his cheeks, a soft smile spreading on your lips when you realized the lascivious need glinting in his eyes.
“I might have one,” he replied, a shyness in his face revealing itself in a smile and he finally giggle, making you do that too.
“Of course you do,” you quipped.  
“Come here,” he whispered, pulling you with his hand already on your chin for a kiss.
With that, Jeonghan came to his resolve. He was in love with you. And he was determined to make this work with you. No matter what.
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✮ author's note: hi hi hi hi there i really have nothing to say. i was thinking of explaining the dynamic between bunny and joshua, and her dynamic with jeonghan but i hope i did a good job of conveying that in this chapter so tell me what you guys think? hehe also, i want to thank you guys for showing me your love for this fic in the last chapter. i was losing purpose in writing and seeing you guys show this fic some love made me so happy. i thank you for staying and for being here on this journey with me. i love you all 🩵😭 anyways, toodles!! ✮ STAY TUNED FOR THE FIFTH CHAPTER!! ✮ JOIN MY TAGLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTERS | BUY ME A COFFEE? (●'◡'●) © RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.
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ckret2 · 9 months
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A leaked list of some of the exciting upcoming content from The Book of Bill:
The pyramids of Giza ranked from most to least sexy.
Winning lottery numbers. He does not say which game they're for.
Three pages of Bill practicing blackletter calligraphy so that he can write the fancy-looking "The Book of Bill" on the cover. (Meant to tear those pages out before submitting book to publisher.)
A section where he implies that all your headcanons about him are stupid. Yes, your headcanons specifically. If you compare your copy of the book to a friend's, these sections will have different text. He insults all headcanons equally, even the ones that contradict each other.
A long, rambling story about a funny thing that he saw at a party in the Nightmare Realm, but he keeps getting distracted gossiping about the embarrassing love affairs and crimes against reality the partygoers have committed. Not a single one of these characters has ever been mentioned before or ever will be again. He gets so distracted he never finishes the original funny story. He was clearly drunk when he wrote this section.
A pet care sheet on how to keep a pet axolotl. All of the information is extremely wrong.
Some of the other dimensions he's tried and failed to conquer. He keeps insisting that all the failures were somebody else's fault. It's extremely obvious that they're his fault.
A photograph of a vivisected elephant, for some reason.
A phone number written on a cocktail napkin that Bill insists would be really funny for all the readers to prank call. It leads to the desk phone of the director of the CIA. 
Bill claims he definitely totally knew that Stan was disguised as Ford the whole time, he only played along to trick the Pines back, and then he quickly changes the topic.
A page of Bill's original poetry. It's all unintelligible symbols. It will take 27 years for somebody to crack the code. They're all gory but juvenile limericks.
A cocktail recipe. It will kill you.
Bill's original version of the portal blueprints that he copied to give Ford, with Bill's handwritten annotations. One part of the blueprints is labeled "component that will accidentally destroy the universe. REMEMBER NOT TO INCLUDE THIS COMPONENT IN SIXER'S COPY!!" He underlined this twice. If this page is compared to the portal blueprints in Journal 3, it's clear that Bill included that component in Ford's copy.
A personality quiz to help you meet your ideal sleep paralysis demon.
Bill's baby pictures. He looks exactly the same, except his bow tie and top hat are too big.
Bill reveals that he thought the llama symbol on the zodiac wheel referred to that farmer guy on the edge of town, and he was super confused to see Pacifica there.
Multiple pages scattered through the book about Bill's amazing powers, his brilliant and fun plans for our dimension, and all the cool favors he's willing and able to do for his friends and followers. All these pages end with a passive-aggressive aside about how somebody would have to be REALLY stupid to turn down an invitation to join Bill's crew, Stanford Pines—
A page labeled "My loyal servants and slaves!" filled with several hideous, oozing, nightmare-inducing Lovecraftian monsters, and one Mickey Mouse.
A self-portrait depicting Bill riding a rocket ship playing an electric guitar while rainbow lightning flashes all around him and money rains down from the sky.
A cynical, sneering tirade about how love is evolution's idiotic way of tricking primitive species into reproducing and how only simple-minded mortals who can't separate their true thoughts from their hormones fall for it. In the margins he's drawn a heart around the words "Bill Cipher +" a scribbled-out blot. The blot is completely unreadable. Despite this, the fandom will spend years debating the name underneath based on the size of the blot.
Extremely stupid "explanations" about various unsolved mysteries and crimes. In six years the world will discover one of them is accidentally correct and Alex Hirsch will get investigated by the FBI.
The book will be divided into four sections. Each section will begin with a big illuminated letter. In order, the four illuminated letters spell "F" "U" "C" "K".
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missbunnybunny · 1 year
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❣💌[ I'm stravin' , Darlin' ]💌❣
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Tw: non-con, dubcon, yandere, stalking, Somnophilia, Drugging, breeding, cockwarming.
A/n: this is my first detailed smut. It was going well at the start until I took a wrong turn and fell off a cliff. Possessive music got influence. I don't know what I wrote, am going to hell, his more delusional; than me. smh. ENJOY!
Note: this is a y/n x pretty yandere, female-bodied reader. Based on the songs Eat Your Young by Hozier and An Unhealthy Obsession by Blake Robinson, helped write this song. pet names such as Darlin, Love, and good girl. If I forgot something plz tell me.
╔═.✧ 🖤 ✧.═══════════╗ ▶︎ 𝕾𝖍𝖊’𝖘 𝖘𝖔 𝖉𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖎 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖛𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖊. ╚═══════════.✧ 🖤 ✧.═╝ Part 2 ↥
You were exhausted. Who could blame you for being tired? You enjoyed your job as the owner of a small coffee shop, but you were drained, and your staff adored you.
When they had an emergency, you were incredibly nice to them and understanding. You didn't inquire. You just told them not to worry because you trusted them and they trusted you.
You didn't hesitate to assist your staff when an aggressive customer screamed and yelled at them. You listened to all sides of the story and kept your eyes on the cameras.
When they realized they didn't have a foothold, you politely requested them to go. But if they weren't kind enough to go, you merely called the cops. You would never let them get away with it; you had patience, but not that much.
So, after the day was done, you secured your doors and walked upstairs to your house. You double-checked that all the doors and windows were secured and that the security system was turned on and operational.
Taking a soothing bubble bath, dressing, and preparing for some much-needed rest. Closing your eyes and basking in the warm embrace of sleep. Your eyes slowly opened, and you attempted to move your fingers, but they wouldn't budge.
You had been under a lot of stress recently due to overwork, and sleep paralysis was now typical for you.
You could hear your door opening and the floors squeaking. The ebony form of a guy appeared. He was tall, and the broadness of his shoulders suggested that he worked out.
As you felt the bed drop at your feet, he sat at the end of it. His hand began to go up and down your leg gently. Coming to a halt at your thigh. He hummed to himself while pinching your inner thigh.
You uttered a grunt. He came to a halt and gazed up at you. As he peered down at your face, his face slowly entered the frame. "Oh, how pretty," he said, lovingly cupping your face. "I don't think I could hold myself back." H
is breath lightly fanning your face, he murmured. He kissed you, and you let out a frightened moan and screwed your eyes shut. He took advantage of the situation by inserting his tongue inside your mouth.
While squeezing your inner thigh, he hummed to himself. His hand creeps up and beneath your shirt from your thigh. He pulled your nipple and squeezed your breast.
He linked his mouth to yours with a thin string of saliva. He licked his lower lip. "You taste amazing," he replied with a smile.
He kissed your lips once more, and you felt him get out of bed. You sprang awake and took a glance around. Your clothing was in good condition and not flung around.
You raced to your restroom and looked in the mirror; there were no handprints anywhere on you. You rushed to your front door, terrified, and examined your alarm system; nothing was amiss. You were befuddled, and your thinking was jumbled.
You summarized it up to well: an odd wet dream, stress, and being punted up may all lead to unusual nightmares, especially when combined with sleep paralysis.
You sipped your favorite comfort drink, rubbed your temples, and took a few deep breaths. Exhale a sigh of relief as you feel your tension wash away.
You put on your business attire and prepare to open your shop. The business opened at 8 a.m., so you were there by 6:30, and by 7 a.m., staff began to arrive.
Everyone was having a fantastic time in the shop, which was filled with laughter and music. When the clock struck eight, you laughed, "It's eight, you know what to do. Hit it!"
Everyone queued up got into place, and you opened the store. Customers arrived quickly after that.
When a well-dressed man entered and approached the counter, your staff was busy. As you finished serving one of your usual clients, you noticed him and called, "I'll be with you in a minute."
"Thank you, hun." The kind old lady stated. You smiled at her and walked over to the counter to assist the man. "I'm sorry, did I keep you waiting too long?" you said as you set up the ordering machine.
"No, not at all." He informed you in hushed tones, he was attractive, you had to admit it. His voice seemed strangely familiar to you, but you couldn't place it.
But you shrugged it off and smiled as you asked him what he needed.
"A coffee with a cake," he answered politely. "Ah, what cake would you like sir, we have many options." you beam up at him, giving him a tiny smile. "Oh, what would you recommend, my dear?" he asks, quietly tapping the counter.
"Would red velvet cake be acceptable?" "It's one of my favorites," you inquired. He nodded, and you concluded his order with a small 'mm'. " Would that be all, sir?" "If so, this is your total," you say, pointing to the sum on the side of the register. " Yes." He responded and paid.
As soon as the order appears on the screen, one of your staff takes it while you assist with the other tasks and clients. Since the front of the store was fully filled, the man was directed to the back.
He could see the counter and you from where he was seated. The manager patted you on the shoulder and smiled at you as they spoke to you. You chuckle and smile as you remove your apron.
"I'm taking a break, everyone," you say. 'Okay, ma'am,' they respond. You step away from the counter and take a seat on one of the unoccupied stools close to his table. While on the phone with someone, you smile and giggle.
He can't stop staring at you. It was fortunate that he instructed his assistant to investigate you. He even postponed a lunch date with the daughter of a well-known corporation.
He didn't mind because he could tell she was attempting to catch his attention. He couldn't care less about how much her clothing cost or how it 'accidentally' revealed her chest. He'd rather be here, staring at your face and grin.
It was a coincidence that he first spotted you; one of his clients requested to meet at this cafe since they genuinely enjoyed your coffee and sweets. He couldn't get your face out of his mind and thoughts after that.
Your phone call had finished, and you turned to meet his gaze. You froze as you studied his face. He saw the fact and grinned.
You realized he hadn't touched his cake and sighed in despair. "Do you not like the cake, Sir?" You questioned him quietly, your gaze fixed on the plate. "Oh, no, it's not like that. "I was saving the cake for last because it was so delicious." He let you know quietly.
"Oh, okay," you said as you stood up and turned around. "Would you like to join me?" he offered, and you graciously accepted his invitation.
You spoke till your break ended. He became a regular client after that and frequently asked about your favorite treats to try.
It had been months since then, yet you still felt tired whenever you saw him. He was the final customer in the shop on one such occasion.
You sent your employees early, not wanting to keep them waiting so they didn't miss their bus or train.
"It's closing time, Mister Blackwell; you should go home," you said. "I told you to call me James, Darling." He told you firmly. " However, I agree. Wouldn't want anything to happen to you." While drinking his drink, he informed you.
"Would you mind joining me before I leave?" He remarked this while pointing to the seat next to him. you exclaimed, "You are extremely persistent." You shook your head and set your favorite drink on the table.
Turning around and laying a little slice of cake next to your drink. You had no idea what he had placed into your drink by the time you sat next to him. He grinned as you took a sip of your drink, seeing your expression shift.
He watched as your eyes gradually closed and you collapsed on the table, spilling your cup on the floor. "What…did you do?" You questioned him carefully, feeling yourself nodding off. "Don't worry, my love, I'll take care of you."
As you eventually slid away, you heard him declare. You wake up with him twirling his tongue at your clit, then cat licking your entrance, going back and up to your clit, before his tongue went into your pussy, tasting every inch of it.
You eventually let out a whimper as the knot in your gut finally split and you filled his mouth with your cum. "You're awake, I hope you don't mind," he whipped his mouth with his palm. "I was dying to taste you." He stated.
His gaze moved up and down your body, forming an image of you in his mind. You attempted to speak, but all you got was a broken wail. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness, and you were entirely bare to him.
Your eyes began to water, and silent tears streamed down your cheeks. " Why are you crying, Darlin?" He stated this as he licked your tears away before giving you a ravenous kiss, His tongue quickly claiming your mouth.
He released your lips as he stated, "It will take a while until you can move again, but don't worry, I'll make you feel good." He gently graded your hand before bringing it to the bulge on his pants.
"This is what you did to me." He talked as he stroked your palm up and down his bulge, letting out a groan as he began to accelerate.
He stared down at you, hungry, and proceeded to remove his outfit. He was now entirely exposed for you to see. " Oh, very lovely. I'm curious how you'll look after I slit you in half on my dick." He murmured this as he sank his thick fingers into your pussy, causing your back to arch.
When he noticed your body jerked up and your jaw fell open, he smiled even more.
He discovered your sweet spot! He curled his fingers in the same place over and over. You felt that familiar tight knot in your gut emerges, prompting you to tighten your walls around his fingers.
"That's it, cum on my fingers like the good girl you are," he said. Your walls flutter subconsciously at his words, "Oh, you like being called a good girl?" he questioned, advancing faster.
Your moans and whimpers sounded like music to his ears. He was itching to sink his dick into you. You came undone under him with one more stroke, cumming on his fingers and hand.
He took his hand away and brought it up to his mouth, licking your juices. "You taste divine." He exhaled.
He positioned himself at your entrance, tapping his dick on your assaulted lips. He graded your legs and pushed them on your chest in a typical mating press position, and you could plainly see his pink tip and how enormous he was.
Once he got you the way he wanted you, you felt the swelling tip of his cock press against your tight entrance and buckle his hip. He bottoms out in one push, his pelvis colliding with your entrance.
He took your breath away since he was so large. And, as he claimed, he was splitting you in half with his dick. "Don't pass out on me, Darlin," he remarked, softly patting your cheek with his palm." The fun is just getting started," he remarked as he kissed you on the lips.
Allowing you to get used to his size before proceeding. You were so tight! And you are his and his alone.
His cock began to slide in and out of your tight pussy, as if you were nothing more than a fleshlight at his disposal. "Y/n I'm going to make you only mine," your desperate cries mixed with groans as you sought to stop him.
The sound of skin smacking against skin got louder as he thrust harder and harder. Your muscles were absolutely spasming, and your eyes could hardly fixate or focus on his sweat-splattered face above you.
So this was how it felt to be with a man like him, putting you precisely where you should have always been.
BELOW HIM, you were groaning, saliva flowing from the corners of your lips, and your eyes rolled up every time his cock brushed your cervix and his pelvic bone stroked against your swollen clit.
Your eyes met his and he kissed you passionately; the longer the two of you kissed, the more his hips appeared to press into yours. The headboard of the bed was crashing fiercely into the wall, adding yet another obscene sound to the symphony.
You could feel his dick pounding against your walls; it was clear he was nearing his climax, which was going to totally fill you up to the point of leaking, and then fuck a baby into your womb.
As he furiously pounded into you, his hands came to your waist and had a tight grasp on you. You felt James base expand and get even bigger only seconds before his hot sperm was spurting into your womb, and the veins surrounding his dick were pulsating against your walls, making you gasp for the nth time.
The sensation of being totally filled was so intense that you almost ended up cumming again.
He lay down next to you, panting and allowing you to collect your breath. As your body was extremely sore, he began spooning you from behind his cock, still inside you.
"Sleep, Love, you must be tired," he kissed your neck. I'll prepare something for you in the morning." You were exhausted, and your half-lined eyelids eventually closed as you slept off. James grabbed up his phone and called over your sleeping figure.
The phone rang till someone answered, "Ray?" "Did you do what I asked?" he inquired calmly. "Yes, I made sure to delete the footage of you breaking into the home months ago, as well as the alarm system," Ray stated gently. "Perfect," James smiled, hanging up the call as he fell asleep next to you.
After so long of only admiring you from afar and secretly stroking you as you slept, he was overjoyed to finally hold you in his arms.
Don't worry, you can have a better life because He will take excellent care of you. "It'll take some getting used to, but we'll make it work." were his final thoughts as he fell asleep affectionately sound asleep with you in his arms.
Am gonna dig a hole and hide. bye....👩🏽‍🦯
Update there’s a new hole to hide in now 🕳️ 👩🏽‍🦯
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ellastone-olsen · 8 months
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The Legend of Sleepy Valley - Wanda Maximoff (part 1)
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★Pairing: Vampire!Wanda Maximoff x f!reader
Summary: no one had ever seen the family members living in the huge estate nearby. maybe this is not just the case and they are hiding something. legends surround this place and soon you will find out for yourself where is the truth and where is the lies. this is the first time a vampire will not kill her victim.
★Warnings: NSFW 18+ (in future parts), dark au, blood, stalking, mentions of murders, nightmares, slowburn
★Word count: 2.6k
★AN: I decided to re-read Dracula and an idea came to me. this is my first series fic and the first part is preparation for the most interesting things. maybe there will be one or two more parts, I don’t know how much my imagination will suffice.
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The small village of less than one hundred fifty people could not boast of special wealth, but as they say, human blood is not water, this is the true wealth that these people had. If only they knew about it.
Away from the crowd of dilapidated houses stood the old estate of the Maximoff family, whose history dates back to ancient times. No one could say exactly how long ago they settled, but every generation of people who lived here knew who lived in the ancient “castle” as the locals called it. Family members did not often catch the eye of the village residents, preferring a secluded life without “good neighbors” nearby. All you knew about them was information gleaned from the legends that parents told their children, passing on these terrible stories from generation to generation.
One of them said that it was the Maximoff family that was behind the disappearance and fatal diseases of ordinary peasants who lived in these parts. If someone’s livestock died, it means that people’s turn will soon come. No one could explain exactly how they were involved in this, which is why they were legends. Some said that all the troubles began with the arrival of the first ancestor - Konstantin Maximoff. As soon as this man set foot on the dead, poor soil of these regions, terrible things began to happen.
But who are you to believe in stupid old legends? Now is not the time when people rely on fairy tales. This was the age of computer technology and the Internet, so you could read horror stories on Google. It’s a shame that the stories turned out to be true, what’s even worse is that you learned this from your own experience.
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“Why did you kill me? Why did you kill me?" You looked in horror at the doorway in which stood a man... no, a child, judging by his height, about 7 years old, but his face was not visible. Only glowing beady pupils and a dark silhouette, that’s what you could make out in the pitch darkness of the tiny room. “I didn’t do it, I didn’t kill you.” You tried to move, but it was all in vain. The body froze like a heavy marble stone. The brain was already awake, but the limbs were stuck to the mattress of the bed. Heart beat out a fast, ragged rhythm, threatening to jump out through ribs. No one would come to the rescue, you knew. “Why why did you kill me.” The hallucination repeated these words like a prayer in the temple of the Lord God, to which you were ready to go any minute. What to do, what to do, probably the same as always. Scream.
An eardrum-breaking screech escaped from your chest, maybe someone will hear it? But absolutely everything that happened was only in your head. Together with the scream, flashing flashes began to hit eyes, a good sign that the method was working. If anyone had heard the screeching, they would probably have gone deaf.
You suddenly sit up in bed, breathing as if you had run a marathon and won. It was all over, but the fear remained. Sleep paralysis was never limited only to the state of paralysis itself; even after them, anxiety was with you, sticking to the subcortex of consciousness like soft molasses. You turned on the light in the room and picked up the phone. The clock showed 3:42 am, if you are lucky, within an hour you will fall asleep again. Your finger clicked on the messenger icon and you entered a chat created specifically for communication between people living in your village and surrounding area.
Your eyes quickly scanned hundreds of messages and ads for old junk when photos of the scene caught your attention. It was talking about another cattle killing of one of your neighbors. People, as always, wrote that these were wolves or pumas, which often live in these parts. At least the claw marks were definitely not left by a human. A terrible bloody mess, what more can you say. Soon panic will sweep the village again, because everyone knows that this will be followed by the death of one of the residents. Damn it, sitting at home all day long again was the first thing your sleepy brain generated. Well, let it be, but you will get some sleep for the first time in the last couple of months.
The phone slowly fell from your hand onto the soft, fresh sheets and your lead-filled eyelids fell into your eyes. Finally the long-awaited dream. You saw your past, but more exaggerated. Winter frost, a scarf that covers half of your face and you don’t know where to go. The picture changed and you found yourself on the red carpet, walking towards the door at the end of a hundred-meter corridor. There are white walls and camera flashes all around. You didn't know where you were going, but it seemed like a good place. The door opened revealing a round room with a bunch of people and animals. A ginger cat similar to yours came up to you and you extended your hand to pet him, but the animal grabbed you with its teeth, biting over and over again. The claws passed along your forearm, leaving red droplets of blood, the wonderful dream again became a nightmare and you opened your eyes.
Your room again. The lights were off. It's strange, you didn't seem to turn it off. Perhaps mom woke up and walked past the room. Your gaze could not focus on anything, you looked around, blinked a couple of times and looked into the doorway. Someone was standing there again. A woman with long hair, you would think it was your mother, but she had short shoulder length hair. Again, hallucination is the first thing that came to your mind. You tried to bend your leg to make sure that this was the case, but the movement was easy and you sat down in fear. The figure was still standing in place and eyes accustomed to the darkness could discern clothing in the form of a knee-length dress, boots and a jacket, it seems? The head of the unknown woman in your room tilted to the side, she was also looking at you. She studied, as if deciding what to do next. It seemed that being noticed was not part of her plans.
"Who are you?" the vocal cords did not produce anything louder than a whisper. And only now did you notice a strange pain in your hand, in the same place where the cat scratched you in your sleep. You grabbed the forearm of your left hand, feeling the moisture under your palm and lifted it to get a better look. You couldn’t see anything in the darkness and you licked your palm to feel the metallic taste. Liquid scarlet blood was streaked and still leaking from the scratches, not deep enough to leave scars.
In response to your action, the stranger loudly sniffed air and seemed to... growl. But people don't know how to make SUCH sounds. “Did you do this?” you extended your palm to her, but instead of answering, the dark figure disappeared outside your bedroom. You wanted to catch up with her, but got tangled in the blanket and fell to the floor, cursing under your breath. When you went into the common room, no one was there anymore. Not a trace of anyone else's presence.
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The morning greeted with the rays of the sun, which lay softly on your face. The smell of homemade pancakes wafted from the kitchen, the recently returned birds chirped on the tree branches as if they were wound up.
The phone was still lying next to you and the clock on the screen showed noon. Among hundreds of notifications overnight, you found a message from your friend Lily, which read: “I’ll pick you up at one o’clock in the afternoon.” Well, at least you had an hour to get ready. Surely, after those messages about the murder, your parents would lock you at home, and you wanted to have time to take a walk in the first days of spring.
While you were sitting in the kitchen and looking at one point, while finishing breakfast, your thoughts returned to this night. There was no doubt that the first thing that happened to you was sleep paralysis, but what happened then? How could someone sneak into your family home so silently and without a trace, why did this woman need to watch you, and even more so... You could write off the incident as another nightmare, but your forearm still stung. Raising your hand, you saw scratches that were already covered with a blood crust and were in the process of healing. Oh no, it wasn’t definitely a hallucination. When you got out of bed, the first thing you did was check your room for missing valuables, but everything was there. Apparently the only thing this strange woman touched was you. Today before going to bed you need to check all the locks in the house, all the windows and make an impregnable fortress out of it.
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“Are you sure you want to go there?” The question hung in the warm spring air. Your friend was dragging you by the hand to the so-called Sleepy Valley. The children of your village were not allowed to go there, firstly because flocks of sheep usually grazed there, and secondly...
“Y/N, do you know why this place is called that way?.” Of the two of you, you knew more about local folklore, so you easily found the desired legend in the memory archives. The legend of the Sleepy Valley.
“My mother told me that there were always sheep grazing there, but one day a shepherd came into the valley and the whole flock was lying on the grass. It looked like someone had thrown cotton balls around. It looked as if the animals were simply asleep, but when the man approached one of the sheep, he realized that it was dead. They were all dead. Some maniac or animal ripped out the throats of the poor animals. This is where the name comes from.” You finished the story and were walking through the wild forest when you saw an opening. Perhaps there were such stories around this place, but there was no other place for walking cattle in the vicinity.
As the tall trees retreated, a majestic field stretched around, with a herd of fluffy white sheep as usual. Lily pulled you by the arms a little away from the animals to sit on the fresh green grass looking up at the sky. The two of you just lay there and listened to the chirping of tits, voluminous white clouds rushed above you, forming bizarre shapes. Life seemed unreal at that moment.
Only in the forest from where you came out it was watching you. Red eyes scanned everything that was happening, and acute inhuman hearing caught your conversation even at a distance of twenty meters. Your night visitor did not miss the chance to follow the first person whom she, for some reason unknown to her, did not kill during close contact. Wanda was patient, even too patient, and something about you caught her attention that night. Maybe your peace of mind or... No, it’s too early to think about that. In any case, she spent the rest of the night waiting for you to wake up and leave the house.
For so many years that she lived on this sinful earth, the daughter of the Maximoff family could tell a lot from a person’s blood. She drank dozens of people dry and each was unique in their own way, from the first sips one could understand what kind of life a person lived and what it was like, blood for her was a thing in which the essence of human nature was hidden. None of her victims had aroused an iota of interest or compassion in her, until that day.
Once every few months, Wanda’s family could afford such a delicacy as a few people from the village for whom no one would grieve. She liked to stretch out the pleasure and start with cattle, leaving human lives for dessert. Then she decided to watch the future victims and find the most tasty morsel in her opinion; in the end, her choice fell on a young beautiful girl like you. When life is in full swing, taking it away is many times more pleasant and sweeter.
That night, her plans included killing you, drinking to the last drop like everyone else before, but standing right next to you, she froze. Something was wrong. Why were your eyes open but you didn't move? She heard your heart that was ready to jump out, but it was not because of her. It seemed like you saw something that she didn’t see and she became curious. The woman walked into the darkness of the room, to the farthest corner, and watched. So you woke up, jumped out of bed and nervously turned on the light. Wanda sensed your fear, but did not understand what it was connected with.
Waiting for you to fall back into the world of dreams, she turned off the light that was blinding her and came closer, running her sharp nails along your arm to collect a small portion of blood for testing. When the first drops touched her tongue, her pupils dilated, covering the irises of the vampire's red eyes. The blood was saturated with adrenaline and was even sweeter than she expected and your personal taste. There was something about it that she couldn't place, something familiar. She took a closer look at your calm face, noticing what a cute little thing you were in her hands. No, killing you was too great a loss, she turned on her heels to hide as quietly as she appeared, but a rustling was heard behind her.
Wanda stood in the doorway and watched as you woke up for the second time that night. It’s surprising how you didn’t notice her right away, but when she saw your wet, rough tongue running over your palm, licking the scarlet substance, something clicked in her. “Did you do this?” your voice, hoarse from sleep, has long since become a spring deep inside her being. She needed to leave right now if she didn't want to kill you or take you by force.
The woman silently left the house and sat down nearby in the wild raspberry bushes. "She was beautiful, but who the hell was that?" Thoughts were heard in her head, but they were not hers. She heard your thoughts and her eyes widened, remembering what her stepmother told her many decades ago. If her memory did not deceive her, and it did not deceive her, then when sampling a person’s blood, if they arent killed, she will be able to hear all the thoughts associated with her. Then, being a recently converted vampire, Wanda did not attach any importance to this, because she did not think that something would happen that she would not complete the job. Apparently this was very arrogant on her part.
But since this has happened, why not entertain yourself for the first time in the last two hundred and ninety-seven years. From that moment on, she had her own personal human.
Part 2?
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candycandy00 · 2 months
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Once Upon a Time - A Sukuna x Reader Fanfic Part 2
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Retold fairytales featuring the JJK men! This is Sleeping Beauty featuring Sukuna! After your parents are killed, leaving you as the young queen, you hire the mysterious and violent Sukuna to be your Captain of the Guard to protect you from an evil fairy’s curse. You’re in love with him, but he just keeps refusing you! 
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Read Gojo x Cinderella Here!
Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. AU. Reader as Sleeping Beauty, Sukuna as her Captain of the Guard. Somnophilia (sort of). Paralysis (sort of). Rough sex.
Any feedback is adored! Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more and @benkeibear.
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It’s a very strange sensation, falling into your supposed “deep sleep”. You can still hear everything going on around you, Sukuna yelling your name almost angrily, as if he can intimidate you into waking up. You can still feel everything too, his arms holding you, then lowering you to the floor. It feels like he’s cradling you in his lap, but that would be ridiculous. You suspect that if your eyes were open, you could see everything too. 
It’s not so much a deep sleep as paralysis. You can’t move, can’t speak, can’t even open your eyes. But you’re very much aware of everything. 
You feel Sukuna’s palm tapping your face in a light slap. “Wake up!” he shouts, then grunts as if frustrated, then calls for more guards. You listen as he commands one of them to fetch a doctor and another to inform your advisers. 
“Is the assassin still in the castle?” one of the guards asks. 
“It was the fucking cat!” Sukuna yells. Then he says, “There it is! Grab it and snap its neck!”
No! Briar did nothing wrong! He didn’t understand!
You want to scream the words but you can’t. 
You hear a sigh next to you. “Wait, she likes the damn thing. Just find the needle in its fur and let it go,” Sukuna says. 
You feel immense relief. You’re sick of things dying because of you and your curse.
“I’ll put her in her bed,” he tells the others, and you feel yourself being lifted and then carried. A few seconds later, you feel the softeness of your bed beneath your back. You miss the warmth of Sukuna’s arms though. 
Over the next hour, multiple doctors and advisers visit your chambers, some trying to help, others just curious to see the curse in action. 
Sukuna stays in the room, occasionally speaking even though he rarely talked to these people before. Is he… doing this on purpose? To let you know he’s still here, watching over you? No, he doesn’t know you can hear him. 
At some point one of the advisers asks another, “Should we try waking her? The former king and queen told us about that method.”
A hush falls over the room, then Sukuna says, “So you know how?”
The other adviser says, in an uneasy voice, “Her parents were told a specific method, and they told us, in case something happened after they died. It’s a bit of a sensitive topic.”
You listen intently. You knew there was some secret method of waking you in this situation, but no one would tell you what it is. Instead, your parents and later the advisers had looked extremely uncomfortable as they told you not to worry about it. 
The first adviser who broached the topic clears his throat. “To awaken the queen, a man must… lay with her… intimately.”
What?! 
You hear Sukuna’s voice again. “So someone needs to fuck her?”
“Er… yes, Captain. That is correct. We find it uncomfortable to discuss, as you can imagine. She is unconscious after all, and cannot give her consent.”
A third adviser, a woman, speaks up then. “Remember what she told us before? I believe her exact words were, ‘I don’t care if the method involves letting every person in town piss on my face, do whatever it takes to wake me’. I think we should honor her wishes, regardless of how distasteful we find it.”
Yes! That’s the choice I would make for myself! 
One of the male advisers asks, “Who will do the deed?”
If you were able to, you would be holding your breath. There’s a pause, then Sukuna speaks again. “I will.”
!!!
“You?!” one of the advisers asks incredulously. “We can’t allow a violent barbarian we know nothing about to-“
“Wait,” the lady adviser says, cutting him off. “This ‘barbarian’ has saved our queen’s life more times than we can count these past three months. And everyone in the kingdom can see that she has a certain… affection for him. I believe she would choose him herself if possible.”
Yes! Yes! Please don’t let anyone else touch me! It has to be Sukuna!
After some more discussion, the advisers finally all agree to let Sukuna try to wake you. You hear their shuffling steps as they leave your chambers. 
************************
Sukuna looks down at his sleeping princess. Laid out on her bed, dress spread around her, she looks more lovely than ever, more innocent. 
“Hey, you’re not really asleep, are you?” he asks, standing over her bed. 
She gives no response. Of course she doesn’t. 
He leans over her, placing his knee on the bed beside her and his hand on her calf, slowly sliding her dress up. Her cheeks redden, and Sukuna laughs. 
“I knew it. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been with you too much lately, or if it’s a side effect of the curse, but your thoughts are coming through to me. Maybe not in words, but I’m feeling the gist of it. Like earlier with the cat. I felt that you didn’t want anyone to kill it.”
His hand moves further up, dragging the hem of her dress up high enough to reveal the fresh set of frilly panties she’s wearing. “I also felt it when you got all excited about me waking you up, how it has to be me.”
Her skin feels hot. He can feel her sense of embarrassment. “Oh? Getting bashful now?” he asks, untying the laces of her corset. “If you prefer, we can let someone else do it. Or we can just let you sleep for a while…”
The word “no!” flashes through his brain, radiating from her. He grins. “So I’m good enough to wake the princess? I’m not gonna lie, having you so helpless, unable to move or speak, is turning me on.”
He rips open the corset and pulls it off her body, then pulls the dress over her head, moving her limp body as he needs to fully strip her. Once she’s completely naked, he stands back to look. 
She’s more beautiful than he imagined in those nights when he jacked off in his bed, picturing her whimpering beneath him. The night he saw her pleasuring herself, the room had been dark enough to conceal much of her form. But now, with every lantern in the room lit, he could see her in all her glory.  
“Don’t tell me not to stare,” he says, sensing her thoughts again. “I’ve been waiting to get a good look at this soft body, bare and spread out for me. My eyes are feasting.”
Her whole body is flushing. She looks so delectable. How did he resist for this long? When he heard the method for waking her, he knew it had to be him. Despite his reluctance to bed her, the thought of any other man touching his adorable princess, seeing her in such a vulnerable state, made him want to stab the nearest living creature. 
And he knew what she wanted. Even without her thoughts somehow flowing into his mind, he knew she would rather die than let anyone else see her being weak and helpless. 
He strokes one hand over her face, wishing he could see that defiant look in her eyes again. He leans his face down close to hers, remembering how she looked earlier when she thought he was going to kiss her. That look of anticipation, of longing… it had almost made him crack. He can feel her emotions now, flooding his own thoughts. She wants this more than anything. 
He kisses her lips, pressing his tongue into her mouth to lick every inch of it, savoring the sweet taste of her. While still locked in the kiss, he slides his hand up and gently pulls one of her eyelids open. 
****************************
The light almost hurts your eye, but you adjust quickly. As you guessed, you can see when your eyes are held open, and right now you see Sukuna’s face hovering right over yours as he kisses you, his own eyes looking straight into your one open one. 
He grins into the kiss, then pulls away. “Your pupil just dilated. So you can see too.”
You wish he hadn’t broken the kiss. You’ve been craving it for so long. But then he releases your eyelid, letting it close before you feel him climb onto the lower end of the bed. His hands appear on your legs, spreading them apart. Ah! It’s embarrassing to be opened up so lewdly before him, even if you’ve wanted him for months. 
“I bet your sense of touch is much stronger with your eyes shut, huh? Every sensation that much more intense…”
His voice is like velvet as you feel his thumb rubbing up and down your slit. “You’re dripping, princess. This pretty little pussy is drooling for me.”
Your heart is racing, your breaths coming quicker. 
“It’s just too bad I can’t hear that sweet voice of yours moaning while I do this,” he says, then his fingers part your folds, and you feel his hot, wet tongue glide over your open pussy. 
If you could move, you would be arching your back, bucking your hips from the electrifying pleasure that shoots through you. His tongue circles your swollen, defenseless clit teasingly, one of his fingers sliding inside you. Your rapid breaths are getting louder, your body desperate for his tongue to hit the right spot. When he laughs, you feel the vibration of it, and you think this must be some form of torture he’s devised. 
“Getting impatient, princess? This poor little clit feeling neglected?” 
If you could, you would be begging him to get on with it, to just lick your clit already. But you can’t, and his tongue continues to move all around it. Finally, his tongue withdraws, and a second later, you feel his teeth graze over the tender little bud. 
Your body sucks in a sharp breath, the pleasure almost too much to bear. Then his lips close over it, suckling it as his tongue runs over the tiny tip. All the while, his finger is plunging in and out of your tight hole. 
You cum right then, your helpless body twitching beneath him as pleasure washes over you in waves. Oh, how you wish you could cry out his name. 
Sukuna withdraws his finger and moves off the bed. You hear fabric rustling, and picture him undressing. It’s not fair! You’ve wanted to see him naked this whole time! 
He laughs again, and you remember that he can sense what you’re thinking. “You want to see me that badly? Maybe I’ll be nice and show you.”
His fingers are at your eye again, peeling back the lid to let you see him standing over you. Only his bare torso is visible, but it’s enough to get you heated again. He’s absolutely gorgeous, with a perfectly toned, muscular body and those tantalizing tattoos running along his whole torso. 
“There’s something else you need to see,” he says, and his voice seems to drop the teasing, almost playful tone for a moment. “There’s a reason I kept turning you down. I didn’t want to wreck you. But now we’re in this situation, and there’s no avoiding it.”
He lets your eye close for a moment, and when he opens it again, he says, “Have a good look, Princess. Still think you can handle me?”
It takes you a moment to process what you’re looking at. He’s holding something in his hand, something that should not be that big. Something the size of his arm. It’s an absolute monster of a cock, hard as stone and pointing upwards, clear fluid leaking from the fat tip. 
Oh god, forget wrecking you, that thing could kill you! 
As he lets your eye close once again, you feel him climb back onto the bed. He must sense your fear, because he pushes your legs up and apart and says, “I’ll try not to hurt you. Too badly.”
This position is too obscene! He holds your legs back, your knees nearly touching your shoulders, leaving you more vulnerable than ever. You feel the tip of his enormous cock prodding at your slick little hole, and you shudder. 
Then, he begins pushing the massive organ into your warm, soft, pliable body. 
Ahhh, it’s too big!
You feel one of his hands on your face. “What happened to all that bravado from before?” he asks. “You were so desperate for me to fuck you, so sure you could take me. Now you’re getting what you wanted.”
There’s a softness to his voice that doesn’t match his taunting words, and despite it all he’s moving slowly, slipping into you inch by inch instead of plunging in all at once like you imagined. 
Even so, the stretch is painful, and a whimper escapes your lips. 
“Giving up already, princess? I thought you were tougher than this.”
I’m not giving up! I want you even deeper!
He opens both your eyes this time, his thumbs sliding your eyelids up. 
“You sure about that?” he asks you, red eyes looking as wild as the day you met him. 
Yes!
He grins. “There’s my brave little princess.”
I’m a queen, not a pri-
He suddenly shoves in, still holding your eyes open, still staring into them, as his cock fully sheaths itself inside you. Your body jerks, your breath catches in your throat. If you could scream, the whole castle would hear it. 
“Your pupils are really dilating now!” he says. 
It hurts, but at the same time, the feeling of being so full of him excites you. He lets your eyes close again, and for a few moments he remains still. Then, he begins moving, slow and easy at first, but giving way to deeper, harder thrusts. 
He groans above you. “You’re tight as fuck! I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back if ever stuck my dick in this little virgin pussy!”
He hits a spot that has your body spasming around him and tears leaking from your closed eyes. 
“There it is… I found your weak spot,” he says. “You like it really deep, don’t you?”
Oh god… it feels so good! 
Your mind is going blank, pleasure and pain mixing so deliciously as he does whatever he pleases with your body. 
**************************
Sukuna can’t stop himself now. The feeling of her unbelievably tight cunt clenching him everytime he plunges in is overriding all his willpower. 
“Fuck… never had a virgin… take me this deep before…” he grunts out, intentionally hitting the spot that has her limp body shaking. 
Her thoughts are spilling out, broken and choppy, barely comprehensible: “want more… want you… love you… hurts… feels so good… go deeper… cum inside me…”
He reaches up to caress her face again, leaning in to run his tongue across her lips. “I will, princess. I’ll fill you up so good.”
She cums again, her pussy clenching him in a vice grip, her mouth gasping for air, and it’s the most lovely sight in the world. 
“It’s time for you to wake up,” he says, his voice going uncharacteristically soft. “Your kingdom is waiting for you. I’m waiting for you, my queen.”
He thrusts in so deep, it feels like he’s become a part of her, before releasing his seed, shooting his thick cum into her quivering pussy. 
Her eyes snap open, she breathes in deeply, staring at him in wonder. Then her arms wrap tightly around his neck as she leans up to kiss him. When she pulls away, she gives him that haughty look he’s come to enjoy. 
“Took you long enough,” she says. 
He grins. “You’re acting awfully high and mighty for someone who just came on my cock with tears running down her face.”
She flushes and averts her eyes, and he realizes he can’t feel her thoughts anymore. Ah well, not like he needs that to know how she feels. 
He slowly pulls out and sits up, looking down at her exhausted body. She’s still shaking slightly, breathing hard. It makes him want to take her again. But he has other pressing matters to take care of. 
“I’m going into the woods to find the old fairy,” he tells her. “And I’m gonna chop her fucking head off. She’ll be sending regular assassins now that the curse didn’t work. She’ll never leave you be until you’re dead.”
His queen sits up in bed, grasping his arm. “Take me with you!”
“Of course. I don’t trust these weaklings to protect what’s mine. Let’s go on the offensive!”
166 notes · View notes
jevilowo · 22 days
Text
MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS TF2 SHIPS
For funsies
SCIENCE PARTY:
fun ship, but they're GodComplex4GodComplex and I fear that would only end in disaster
TOASTED SANDVICH:
if there is one heavypyro fan on this stupid baka planet it is me. shout out to menacing quiet individuals who like violence but have a soft side fr.
BLOODY SUIT:
literally The Original toxic yaoi rivals to lovers red blue combo ship. speeding bullet and napoleon complex fans WISH they had our shared update and corresponding voice lines
BATTING HELMET: (scout n solly)
i just think it's really funny trust me on this one guys. have you seen them in the fourth comic it's a constant "yes, and" bit between the two of them. soldier's love language is choking people out.
HIT AND A MISS: (scout n pauling)
like most ms pauling ships, i'm only into it if scout's a cool lesbian. which he is not most of the time.
RED OKTOBERFEST:
AAAAAAAAAAAAA literally the ship of all time save me heavymedic save me. if they don't smooch in the next comic i will become jay pinkerton's personal sleep paralysis demon.
SPEEDING BULLET:
my feelings on it are Complicated. twas my first love (otp) in this fandom, but the overabundance of twinky uwu scout and daddy dom snoipah has built up some resentment on my part. call me back when people stop making up imaginary life problems for sniper to comfort scout over.
NAPOLEON COMPLEX: (Spy n Engie)
literally just rarjack if they were boys and not horses to me and i'm not even an mlp fan. it's alright, just doesn't really stick out to me.
SPYMA:
LITERALLY THE POWERCOUPLE EVER TRULY A LOVE STORY FOR THE AGES or at least the version that exists in my head is. i have so much made up spyma lore it's crazyyy. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with sniper it's quickly becoming my favourite genre of fanart (i have seen at maximum three)
SUPPORT SANDWICH: (spy n sniper n medic)
in my opinion, it is healthy for everyone to have at least one ship they just like bc they think it's hot. for me, that is support sandwich. not much else to say on that the fics are all banging go look them up.
SNIDOS: (sniper n GLaDOS)
hell yeah.
ADMINPAULING:
i used to like it a lot, but timelining implies ms pauling's been working for helen since her mid teens at the latest so i no longer like it. 4chan leaks my beloathed pleaseee don't make them kiss i think it would kill me in a bad way
URINE SAMPLE: (medic n sniper)
there's a lot of werewolf and vampire stuff for these two on ao3 which is pretty fun. and i'm way more likely to find sniper angst under the medicsniper tag than sb and bs which is always a plus.
FRENCH TOAST: (spyro)
have you seen that one animation where pyro gives birth to spy's child and gordon freeman is there at one point. yeahhhh. the ship's pretty cute tho spy would be sooo soft for pyro they'd light his cigarettes for him.
BOOTS AND BOMBS:
THE FORBIDDEN RED/BLU ROMANCE GOES CRAZY I ADORE IT. same team bnb is pretty banging too. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with zhanna.
SPYPAULING:
HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE. imagine. spy x pauling. yuri. that will be all.
SWORDVAN:
SWORDVAN MY LOVE!!! idk what it is about demo and sniper together but HELL YEAH TOP 5 SHIPS FR FR. shout out to the guy still writing monsterous intent, they're like single handedly carrying the swordvandom.
TEXAS TOAST:
I used to think "this is cute" but then my friend got really really into it and that hyped me up into "THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHIPS OF ALL TIME" territory. bonus points if they're yuri! shout out to Technicolor California, my current favourite fanfic of all time (it overtook running blind in the interal rankings). oh yeah insert mandatory "no hate to engie and pyro father son dynamic preferers" message here lol.
Ok that's enough I will cover more at some point maybe.
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on-a-lucky-tide · 23 days
Text
Nik turns 50. TF 141 throw him a surprise party. (As the author continues to build their voices and headcanons in his head.)
cw: none.
“I can't believe Nik’s going to be fifty next week. The man's aging like a fine wine. It must be something in the water over there.”
It had been a fairly innocuous comment by Laswell over one of their frequent phone calls, but it had sent Price into an unfathomable tailspin.
Fifty.
Fifty was a big birthday where Price came from. The kind where the extended family, and wider community around them, were invited to a village hall for an old fashioned knees up, and you ended up carrying your uncle Rodney home so your aunt didn't smother him with a throw pillow after he pissed all over the doorstep.
Price had never really thought much about the families and wider lives of his contacts. They got the job done and then they parted ways. In every sense, a contact held the same position in Price's mind as the weapon in his hand; a tool to be used and then set aside once you were done.
But Nik… Nik was becoming more than a contact. A lot more. Price knew there was no uncle Rodney for Nik. There was no family whatsoever. No one special to mark half a century with, except maybe… fuck.
Price didn't share scotch with just anyone, let alone pass his cigar over for them to take a toke. As much as he respected Laswell, he was never inclined to spend hours with her chattin’ shit, until the sun broke through the blinds and they both had to slam some black coffee so they looked remotely presentable for their operators. His hand never lingered on anyone else's carrier vest, and no one else's voice made warmth and light curl in his chest.
No one else slotted against Price's... everything quite like Nikolai.
Price wasn't stupid. He knew what these signs meant, but that didn't mean he had any idea what the fuck to do about them. It was safer to just… be, too cowardly to progress any further. And yet, this felt like a milestone somehow.
“Captain, are you there? John?”
“Rog, yeah… uh. Continue.”
By the time Price had hung up, he had resolved to do something to mark Nik’s birthday. Laswell had coughed up the exact date and then slyly asked why Price was so interested. Her tone suggested she already had a hunch. “141 tradition,” he'd said, before hanging up. Rude, but she'd cope.
He finished some paperwork and turned in for the night, but sleep didn't come easy. His plans played out across the dark ceiling above his head and each time he settled on a course of action, he picked a hundred holes in it and cast it aside.
“Buy him a bottle of vodka and put a bow on your prick,” Simon said over eggs and bacon. The majority of the base was still asleep, with only a few other troopers skulking around the canteen.
Price choked on his gulp of tea and thumped his chest. “Classy, Simon.”
“You’ve been dancin’ round each other for years,” Simon murmured, rubbing at the stubble below the line of his mask. “Best time as any to pull the trigger.”
“Pot. Kettle. Black,” Price said as he stabbed at the bacon on his plate to emphasise each word.
“Fuck off,” Simon grumbled, “sir.”
Price snorted a laugh and they finished the rest of their breakfast in companionable silence. After a session in the gym, a myriad of brain-numbing meetings and supervising some training runs, Price was no closer to shaking out of his decision paralysis. If they were on mission he could have hashed out a plan without taking a breath, but he… didn't want to fuck this up. It felt too important.
Price was left with no choice but to consult professionals.
“Surprise party,” Soap said gleefully, chucking his playing cards onto the coffee table. “In th’ hanger, we invite him over tae ‘discuss an op’,” Soap lifted his fingers to emphasise the spoken quotation marks, “get Laswell tae send the invite.”
Gaz nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, then he won't suspect anything - oh, oh, I've got Farah's number, we can get her in on it. She’ll know if he’ll want anyone else, and… uh, you know, we’ll get clearance.”
“Right,” Price leaned back, arms folded over his chest. “So, what… we need food, and cake.”
“Aye, sir,” Soap said, squinting. “And booze. Gaz an’ I'll sort the logistics, and ye jus’ need tae sort the pressie.”
“We’re on it, sir. Leave it to us.”
The present. Price could do that. No worries.
Two days later, he stared down at the forty item long Amazon wishlist he had titled “Operation Black Hawk” and had no idea what to get. Something that walked the line of funny but sentimental, that said ‘you’re hot as fuck but I'm not desperate but I absolutely wank over you in the shower’.
“Fuckin Christ,” Price whispered at this office ceiling, slouched deep in his chair. He closed his eyes and forced his mind to quiet but for thoughts of Nik. Think, think.
So many conversations, ice tinkling against glass, low chuckles and borish jokes; a warm palm on Price’s shoulder and a smile so toothy it was contagious. Endless memories of time at Nik’s side. There had been that summer Nik had come fishing with him. Just a few days of peace before they both returned to the field. Nik had snoozed through most of it, exhausted by their previous mission, but in between he had surveyed the lake, watching the insects flit across the water.
“Попрыгунья Стрекоза. Лето красное пропела,” Nikolai had murmured.
“Cursing my ancestors?” Price had asked before gulping down a mouthful of beer.
Nik had chuckled. “Nyet, captain. It means a playful prankish Dragonfly, the whole summer have sung out. It is a poem by Ivan Karylov. One of my favourites.”
“Yeah? What's it about?”
“It is a fable...”
“Oh bloody hell, not another Russian morality lesson.”
“Pssh, this is good one. You will like it,” Nik had sat up in his camping chair. “It is about a beautiful dragonfly who spends her summer dancing and resting, while the hardworking ant prepares. When winter comes, she begs the ant for help, but he refuses, because he worked hard and she did not.”
“Harsh but fair. Work hard, play hard, them’s the rules..”
“You see, I knew you would like it. You are an ant. You earn your rest. This,” Nik had gestured at fishing tackle, the camping equipment, and the lake, “is the fruit of your labour, and I am privileged to share it with you, my friend.”
“And I you, mate.”
They had knocked their bottles together and moments later one of Price’s reels had begun spinning out. By that point they'd drunk so much that landing the damn carp had left them both up to their knees in lake water, pissing themselves laughing on the bank. It had been both the worst and best fishing expedition of Price’s life.
Price opened his eyes in the present and grinned at the ceiling, digging his phone out of his pocket. He knew exactly what he was going to get Nik.
The rest of the week sprinted by quicker than a RAF pilot on his way to a champagne dinner, and before he knew it Price was standing on a rickety plastic chair hanging a bloody banner from a rusty nail high on the hanger wall.
“It's wonky, cap,” Gaz said just as Price was climbing down.
“I think you'll find your eyes are wonky, sergeant.”
“Of course, sir. I'll get that sorted.”
Price pressed his hands to the small of his back and glanced around at the preparations. The sergeants had done well. Soap had even managed to draft Simon in on the booze run and there was a healthy selection of spirits on the buffet table by the birthday cake. It was a Colin Caterpillar from Marks and Spencers, one of Nik's favourite shops to visit when he was in the UK, with a joke candle stuck in the top that he wouldn't be able to blow out. Soap's idea.
The majority of Chimera had turned up to mark the occasion, as had a few faces Price recognised from previous ops with other organisations and task forces. Soap had said a few didn't quite pass the bar for security clearance, which wasn't surprising.
It was just as Gaz and Soap were bickering over the playlist that they heard the telltale drum of helicopter blades beat overhead. “Places, places!” Soap crowed from the hanger door, slamming the lights off. Booted feet scuttled across the dusty floor to find hiding places behind the vehicles and crates stacked around the edges, and Price joined Soap by the door.
Several minutes passed, and then… “And you have no idea where the weapons store is?”
“None at all, Nik. Price should have more intel,” Laswell replied. She had rendezvoused with Nik in Germany as part of the plan. Her wife was currently squatting behind a crate with Gaz.
“I hope so or this will be a difficult mission.”
Soap was practically vibrating at Price's shoulder as Nik rounded the corner. He slammed on the lights and everyone erupted from their hiding places on cue. Price didn't miss how Nik’s hand dropped for his sidearm, his eyes blown wide.
“Laswell, what is–?”
“Happy birthday, Nikolai,” she said, walking by to plant a kiss on her wife's cheek.
“I–” Nik glanced around the hanger as he accepted hugs from Gaz and Syd, handshakes from others, still bewildered. “How–?”
“It was th’ captain's idea,” Soap said, jutting his chin at Price. “He told us ye were hittin’ the big five-oh, old man. Ye not gettin’ off that easy.”
“Here, drink,” Simon grunted, pressing a glass into Nik's hand. “I'm startin’ the food, Johnny. I've been patient.”
“Aye, L.T. Bust open th’ sarnies. Farah, th’ ones on the left are halal - aye, bet.”
Nik was drawn into conversation briefly and Price hung back, glancing at the badly wrapped parcel he'd stashed on top of an empty oil container. He was so focused on his internal misgivings that Nik’s hand on his elbow made him startle. “Oi, give me a bloody heart attack…”
“You did this?”
“MacTavish and Garrick did this,” Price said.
Nik, who knew that the 141 did nothing without Price's express permission, grinned toothily. They stood in silence as he surveyed the many faces scattered around the hanger, some shoving sandwiches in their faces while others swigged from freshly open bottles. “I… have never had a birthday party before.”
“What? Not even as a kid?”
Nik shrugged one shoulder. “Nyet, it was not a… priority.” He looked back at Price, dark eyes heavy with something complex and unreadable. “Thank you.”
Price swallowed and tried to ignore the heat creeping up his neck. “You're uh… you're welcome, I… got you something. But, uh…” Before he could wuss out, Price grabbed the poorly wrapped parcel and shoved it into Nik's hands. “Happy birthday.”
Nik set his glass aside. “Your wrapping skills are…”
“Bloody fantastic.”
“...unique.”
“I'll take it.”
Nik huffed a laugh as he tore the brown paper away and flipped the book over in his hands. Price was relieved to see his face brighten. “Aesop’s fables. Captain, this is beautiful…”
To be fair, it was a damn pretty book. The hardcover was illustrated with the animals from the fables, the pages edged in gold, and the inside cover was patterned. You know… posh. And then Nik found the second part, tucked about a quarter of the way through. It was a photograph from their fishing expedition. A rough selfie, with half a fish head in shot where Nik was trying to display their catch, and Price’s face smeared with mud from where he had stumbled onto the bank.
Nik's eyes lingered on it, his fingertips brushing over their grinning faces, and he swallowed.
Price panicked. “I'm sorry, it's shit, I'll uhm–”
Nik pulled him into an embrace that crushed the air from his lungs. There was definitely a stutter in Nik’s chest, and Price wrapped his arms around him in return. If he happened to turn his nose into Nik's neck, and Nik happened to press his face a little closer, then that was fine. More than fine.
Price's toes curled in his boots, his fingers tightened in Nik’s shirt, the aching in his chest becoming that much harder to ignore. “You alright?”
“Da,” Nik said tightly. “I just need a minute.”
“Take all the time you need,” Price murmured, closing his eyes as he cradled Nik against him. He didn't mark the time, happy to revel in the warmth of the solid body in his arms, and the smell of Nik's skin, pressed so close Price could feel the thrum of his heartbeat.
When Nik finally pulled away, slightly reddened eyes lingered on Price’s lips before turning to the rest of the party, who were doing a shitty job of pretending they hadn't all been watching. “Later, I would… like to spend some time with you.”
Price didn't want to examine the heat under his skin too closely, lest it be entirely misplaced. “Course.”
“Nik, get over ‘ere tae blow th’ oot before Ghostie eats yer cake’s face!”
Nik tucked his book under his arm and walked over to the buffet table with Price to a horrifically off-key rendition of ‘happy birthday’. Once Nik had worked the candles out, flicking them at Soap with a loud Russian cuss, festivities descended, as they usually did on base, into raucous drinking games and whatever the sergeants decided passed for dancing. Simon lost the Ring of Fire and had to down the filthiest pint Price had ever seen in his life, Laswell thrashed them all at beer pong and Gaz tried to teach Farah how to do the worm. As far as fiftieth birthday parties went, it definitely beat out the village hall knees up.
Later, when the majority of the party had slunk off to dark corners, fallen asleep where they sat or retired in good order, Nik pulled his captain back into his arms and kept him there until the sun rose. Except, this time, they did a damn sight more than talk.
139 notes · View notes
miaisocool · 4 months
Text
Johanna (Part 2)
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Pairing: CollegeWanda x Collegereader
Summary - After drinking too much at a college party because of your feelings towards wanda it ends up in a mess!
Warnings: MINORS DNI 18+ Mentions of underage drinking, vomiting, angst, fluff, smut.
Note: Part two of Johanna! if you guys want a chapter three let me know! maybe i'll make one.
Word count: 6k
Navigation
Part one
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You slowly began to regain consciousness as the after effects of drinking got to you, the dull throb aching each vein in your head as you tried to recompose yourself by slowly lifting your head and make up of where you were, the twinge of embarrassment from passing out in front of everyone was also starting to eat you alive, you felt sluggish and weak your body was in a limp state almost as if you were having sleeping paralysis. You slowly opened your eyes to a blurry vision of nothing but random orbs of light as if your body was finally being carried to heaven and that wandas kiss was the blessing that was delivered from the god above.
You were still trying to make sense of where you were the bright lights assaulting at your sensitive pupils you had to squint despite how awful your vision was right now still trying to figure out where you were. There was also a few sounds of inconsistent mumbling that you tried to figure out although another one of your six senses were still fucked up, your hearing. You couldn't help but make out mumbling of a womans voice talking rapidly non stop although there was ringing in your ears there was still a few sentences of concern you could make out from the womans voice like:
"Is she gonna be okay?"
"what if she doesn't wake up"
"i don't know what to do"
They sounded like whines of dread and sadness coming from the mysterious womans voice you couldn't help but wonder who it was. Although you had a throbbing migraine there was also another pair of sentences you could make out but this time it came from a mans voice as you made sense of it, it sounded like:
"She'll be fine"
"Just please calm down"
He was like the reassurance to the womens voice of concern makinf the situation less tense. The dialogue coming from these two mysterious voices was either the alcohol playing mind tricks on you as you didn't even know or remembered how much you drank although you knew it was a lot, or what you drank. You just grabbed bottles of whatever you could find and chugged straight away. Eventually the back and forth sentences started to take more of a physical than mental toll on you as each word that was spoken, you also wanted to mumble out a few words that would come out your throat but there was a heavier feeling than that like something weighing on you, something making your throat clench trying to get to surface level despite your effort to swallow it down. You were powerless you couldn't do anything much longer you heard a object of some sort being placed somewhere near you, right beside where you were about to vomit immediately as you hear that your body convulses and starts to let out everything from your system, whatever you had to drink or eat was ending up in that container.
Your stomach rebels against everything, It's a violent expulsion, leaving you gasping for breath and trembling with the effort, your eyes so watery worsening your vision, the taste of bile burning your throat this continues to go on for a minute at least but soon you start to panic, your chest rising up and down coming in shallow breaths, your heart pounding out of your ribcage, you weren't used to vomiting but when you did you dreaded the moment it would come. But soon you start to come down from your panic as you felt slender fingers start to brush through your hair sending waves of goosebumps all throughout your body as the persons hand made way to your scalp giving you light, sweet caresses, you just wanted to fall asleep right then and there
"its okay.. im here.."
The voice softly cooed to you you hadn't bothered to open your eyes until you realized it was wanda all the memories of what happened before you passed out last night started coming back to you in flashes.
Her kissing vision, she was always mistreated by him and always ran to you when something went wrong or a if a fight broke out between the two. Of course you despised the thought of him, you wanted to be him, you wanted to hold the place of being someone that belongs to wanda. you knew you were the right one for her, but she didn't want you. it made you frown, you wanted to fight against the tears that were starting to build up in your eyes. Wanting to relieve the heart ache of this nature with self pleasure with the thoughts of wanda or thoughts of just going into her arms and being comforted by her smell, like cherries, cinnamon and vanilla. Or her voice that was oh so soft spoken like music to your ears, you smiled ear to ear everytime she spoke a word to you. Most of the time you didn’t listen as you were too busy having dreams of being with her. But you soon snapped yourself out of it as you realized all you have for now is her presence and that's the most you can cherish in this moment. The sight of wanda letting her guard down around you painted a smile on your face and gave you a warm feeling as she continued to coo softly to you calming you down after your panic attack you try to mutter out a few words as you came down from your trance.
"wanda.."
As you spoke her name she propped your head up sliding a pillow underneath your head somewhat assisting you in gaining conscience as you took in what was going on and where you were.
"Im so sorry.."
"i didn't mean to worry you."
You whispered your voice barely above a breath.
Her eyes softened as she met your worried gaze she continued to brush her fingers through your hair as you laid your head onto the pillow she immediately shook her head as she took in your apology
"hey.. don't apologize alright? you have nothing to be sorry for.."
Her fingers continued to trace patterns from your scalp over to your cheek. She softly caressed it washing the tension from your muscles that you were carrying since last night. You felt vulnerable and exposed to her, like her touch was a spell for whatever emotions you went through in the past 24 hours she was the remedy or your guardian angel in a way. A small smile tugged at the corner you finally let your guard down and stopped trying to put on the tough act around her, you believed her, in her presence you felt cared for, understood and not alone.
There were some tears that you were trying to fight as the remnants of your panic attack slowly faded away each swipe of wandas thumb against your cheek fighting against that, easing your anxiety.
"I dont know what came over me..."
You choked up again. There were a few tears that were bound to escape as you spoke.
Wanda's expression remained understanding, her eyes filled with empathy her pupils were slightly dilated or were you looking too much into it?
"i promise you its okay.. please Y/n i hate seeing you like this."
she reassured you, her voice steady and calming. You loved seeing her like this, she would always be patient with you no matter what, well sometimes, it's not like you guys were perfect. Of course there were a few arguments here and there but that never took her away from you.
You hugged her burying your nose into her hair taking in her scent, her skin, the way her arms fit around you like a puzzle piece almost if you guys were made for each other she smelt like cherries, cinnamon and vanilla, again she was a blessing in disguise everything you ever wanted.
It was a bitter sweet moment at first until clint walked in and spoke up disrupting the moment of love between you and wanda
"hey, im gonna take y/n to her apartment.. so i'll just.."
Clint awkwardly walked towards the kitchen counter grabbing his keys from the heart shaped clay ash tray, it brought you memories from when you and wanda hung out for the first time. Wanda decided it was a good idea if you guys went clay sculpting as a "cute date idea" you warned her beforehand that you weren’t a artist and that creative when it came to things that involved art. She also warned you beforehand that she was in the same position as you. So when it was time for her to reveal her clay sculpture to you, you were amazed and teased her about being so talented, which she was, she was oddly good at everything and anything. was it her charming personality? or was it cause you loved her?
You removed yourself from wandas arms noticing her grasp gave you a sense of longing her hands stayed on longer than yours did. Her eyes didn't open to clints voice but only opened to when she felt your weight shift away from hers you could see a sense of disappointment in her body language but you quickly brushed it off as if it was nothing but you knew it was something.
"Call me when you get home safe alright?"
The words coming from wandas mouth made you smile really hard but you held back only smiling a bit to act all cold towards her and put on a front as if you weren't in love with her. But then clint immediately drifted to the front door then he made his way to his car opening first the passenger side because he knew you were still coming down from your hangover he walked over to the drivers side and started up his car waiting for you to get in.
You decided to speak up and finally give wanda a sentence of reassurance instead of leaving her high and dry or just leaving her with the thoughts that were consuming her alive since last night.
"Yeah i will."
Even your tone was cold. You knew what was coming you were mentally preparing for it, you were already distancing yourself from wanda you couldn't take it anymore, was it her fault? no, of course not, she was very dear to you. It was just some stupid feelings you had for her, it wasn't your fault either. If you could ever pick a person to be in love with for the rest of your life it wouldn’t be wanda. It hurt you too much, seeing her with vision one day and then cradling into her arms the next? no it was too much for you. You hated it and just couldn't take it anymore.
For the next few weeks on campus you started avoiding wanda. The messages she would casually send to you daily were starting to turn in messages that were sent once in a while.. maybe once a week at best! you left her with nothing but read receipts either that or you turned it off after a while but she wasn't stupid she knew she wasn't getting left on delivered, You were even starting to take different routes to your classes so you could avoid meeting her or her gaze that you once longed for. Whenever she was brought up in conversation with shared friends you kinda didn't talk at all until the topic was switched. Obviously it caused you heart ache as you forced yourself to distance away from her. You started crying yourself to sleep some nights or soothing yourself the way wanda once soothed you. You couldn’t escape the void of lonelinesses that was once filled by wanda but not anymore because you wanted to distance and “protect your feelings” from her.
You knew things were getting bad when your mental breakdowns started consuming you, it felt like your mind was drowning in a sea of vulnerability and a deep depression that would never go away. In those moments you often found yourself imagining what would it be like if wanda was there with you. She would take you in a warm embrace like a guardian angel fighting against the problems in your head, her soothing voice where she would whisper your name over and over mixed in with words of affirmations or some reassurances telling you that everything was gonna be okay. You depended on her like a lifeline it made you grounded and gave you strength to hold on just for her. You hated that you had to deal with this because of a sore decision you had too make.
At least two months had passed since the incident with wanda, and you kept avoiding her. Initially, it hurt to see how much she tried to keep in contact, calling, texting, even showing up at places she knew you’d be. But eventually, she got the memo as you distanced yourself more and more. You convinced yourself that your feelings for her were gone, though deep down, a part of you knew that wasn't the truth. As the days turned into weeks, the love you once had for Wanda faded, and you no longer saw her as a friend, just a stranger. Did it hurt? Not anymore. You had become cold, and shutting her out seemed like the best decision for your peace of mind. Or at least, that’s what you wanted to believe.
The following day you found yourself at a party it sort of gave you flashbacks to when you saw wanda, how beautiful she was dancing in the flashing lights, everyone else was blocked out from your sight, your bodies pressed against each others as she filled your ears with her beautiful moans, your lips brushing against her neck as you kissed it, her arms wrapped around your neck trying to get more of you, your arms wrapped around her waist as she assisted you what body part to kiss, her neck, her chest. You quickly drank away the memories as you poured another shot of rum quickly drowning your system in alcohol, it was becoming a coping mechanism for you, imagining wanda. but she wasn't there, drinking copious amounts of alcohol it was ruining you physically and mentally. Wanda and Vision had been dating for at least three, maybe four months now? you couldn't keep track since they were so on and off. You hoped that Wanda wouldn't be at this party because you knew if you saw her, she’d want answers about why you had been so distant and you would just give her a quick apology and storm off. The lights were flashing over the crowd and over your face blurring out anyone there except clint because he was always right by your side taking care of you making sure you didn't turn into a drunken mess like last time. The faint smell of weed and cigarettes filling the air around you, making you slightly cough.
You pushed your way throughout the crowd to get away from the packed crowd of people but as you were shoving your way through them with multiple apologies your eye couldn't help but catch a glimpse of vision and wanda together you slowly realized that wanda was here, and she wasn't alone. Vision stood beside her, his arm casually draped over her shoulders. They looked comfortable together, laughing and talking as if they were a perfect couple but you knew deep down that they weren't. A tightened feeling quickly made its way to your throat as you saw vision lay his lips upon wandas. Did she belong to you? no, of course not, but you were once there before. It deeply hurt you. It hurt you to the point where you needed to let your emotions out so you dragged your presence away from clint and made your way outside. As you dragged yourself with tears in your eyes blurring everything from your sight you felt a familiar shoulder rub against yours as you walked away. It was her, It was wanda, you recognized the familiarity from when you guys would cradle into each others arms.
You quickly turned away, hoping that Wanda hadn’t noticed you. But it was too late. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw her glance in your direction, her eyes widening in recognition and her pupils dilating in limerence. The look on her face told you everything: she had seen you, and she wasn't going to let this go. She once longed for you and needed a answer now. Of course you also missed her, she was a part of you, the thought of her consumed you, YOU LOVE HER, YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER but you hate that you are because, it's ruining your life.
You made your way outside as you quickly took your phone out of your pocket to order a uber until-
"Y/n."
You almost dropped your phone out of your hand as you met her cold gaze that was once sweet to you but you knew that all hell was about to break loose. Her voice was firm. Too firm.
"y/n please talk to me."
"wanda this isn't the time or place." You quickly shut her out. She was trying to get to you but you didn't want that because of your selfish ways.
“Then when?” she demanded, her eyes searching yours. Her eyes were searching for at least a hint or feeling that showed you cared “You avoid me for months and can't give me a fucking answer?" There she was again, she knew you hated confrontation but this was the best way she was gonna get to you.
"Im going home." You said firmly looking at your shoes kicking against the cold concrete as you started to step away until she took your arm into her grasp
"You're not leaving me again. Im getting you a uber." This wasn't reassurance from wanda that everything was fine but it was a simple confrontational talk of hers.
While in the uber your gaze lingered out the window as you breathed in wandas comforting scent until you turned your head to finally break the silence
"You know, im really happy for you."
"yeah?"
"Yeah i mean, your in a relationship, he's a good looking guy i'm very happy for you two"
The words felt forced you looked at your hands until you heard the sound of wanda chuckling a bit at your compliment, she knew it was false, you hated vision, she knew you were trying to put on a front to hide a feeling.
Wanda got out of the uber first immediately running to your side and opening the door for you, you smiled at her as she wrapped her arm around your waist walking into your apartment complex.
"Keys?"
Your mind was foggy from Wanda's presence, but you managed to gather yourself enough to hand her your keys. She unlocked the door to your apartment and gently helped you onto the couch.
You lay there for a while, hearing the sounds of her moving around the kitchen. Glasses clinked against the marble counter, ice cubes dropped into a glass, and water poured. Her footsteps grew louder as she walked back towards you.
"Up," she instructed softly.
You smiled at how gentle wanda was being, it brought you back memories of the months before the incident with you and wanda. She gently assisted you into a sitting position, knowing you felt a bit sick. Her hands were firm but comforting as she propped you up, ensuring you were more comfortable and less likely to feel nauseous.
Sitting beside you, she propped herself up, her posture relaxed yet attentive. Her presence offered you a peace of mind. With a gentle yet steady hand, she held the glass steady for you, her fingers lightly supporting its weight as you took small sips.
As you drank, you couldn't help but notice the softness of her expression, the concern noticeable in her eyes. It was moments like these that reminded you of what once was of your connection, she searched for a hint of longing in your eyes, a hint of anything that would tell her that you're emotionally available.
"You're avoiding me"
Wanda's voice cut through the silence like a knife, her words soft but laden with a profound sense of hurt and frustration. The words hung heavy in the air like a accusation as you looked at her
"It was a accident."
you lied, the words left a bitter taste in your mouth as you looked at her. you knew the truth—you were avoiding her—but admitting it felt like facing the inevitable collapse of the friendship you have with her or once had.
"You can't accidentally avoid me."
Wandas words started striking at you like venom, you could feel the weight of her words pressing down on you, a crushing weight that threatened to suffocate you.
"you really wanna know why im avoiding you wanda?"
You finally lashed out at her, you decided that this was the best time to pour out all your feelings to her, it was like word vomit you couldn't control or take back the words that were about to come out your mouth.
"i fucking hate seeing you with him wanda."
Tears were staring to slightly spill out your eyes with each word weighing down your chest making you choke on your words the more you spoke her gaze softened at your vulnerability.
"As long as you're happy that's all that matters.."
Wanda's gaze softened, her eyes searching yours for something you couldn't quite name. "Are you?" she asked quietly, her voice barely a whisper.
The question hung in the air between you, heavy with unspoken emotion. It was as if she could sense the sadness within you, the conflicting emotions that threatened to consume you whole. And in that moment, as you looked into her eyes, you knew that you couldn't keep hiding behind a facade of false happiness.
"No... of course I'm not," you confessed, your voice tinged with a rawness that echoed the ache in your heart. "Seeing you with Vision, it hurts me to my core. Sometimes I find myself sitting there, praying that I could just stop loving you altogether."
Wanda's expression softened, her eyes reflecting a mixture of sympathy and understanding. Without a word, she reached out, her hand finding yours in a gentle embrace she tried to take you into her arms but you fought back as you cried more almost having a mental breakdown but you soon let down your guard and let her wrap her arms around you.
This goes on for a minute or two until she pulls you back to look into your eyes and finally see the emotion that she was searching for, for months she just wanted to see that emotion in your eyes that showed a hint of love towards her.
"i love you.. okay? no one could ever change the love i have for you y/n."
Wanda wasn't perfect either of course the kisses, hugs, touch you shared with her, they lingered in her mind, a constant reminder of what once was, and what could have been. She always longed for you, even in the moments when she tried to convince herself otherwise.
"I don’t think I’ll ever love someone as much as i loved you.."
"You're my person y/n."
She looked into your eyes, her gaze raw and vulnerable, revealing the depth of her emotions. You looked back into hers you started to put your guard down as she grasped you in her arms.
You pulled away slightly to make room to see her whole face, she had a demeanor that showed she was longing for something, she was longing for you, for her lips on yours. The words start to spill from your mouth like vomit.
"I love you."
Wandas restraint finally breaks and she hungrily pushes her lips onto yours practically devouring you, you were so weak you let her take control of the kiss for a while until you return the kiss and press into her almost as if your bodies were morphing together but then after a while you give up. She was soft, like the girl you’ve always known wrapping her arms around you to support the weight she was pushing onto you in a hungry desire, she held onto you like she cares. You hold back a bit as you try to prop up onto her lap you struggle a bit but, she finally gives in and assists you by grabbing your waist gently and laying you onto her lap, you started to moan her name over and over some whines here and there, you placed a knee between her thigh you pulled away again as you cupped her face in a bitter sweet moment.
"is this okay?"
She nodded as she looked at you her eyes darkened but not by lust by the love that she always carried for you, as you propped yourself up on her thigh, you started to grind down into her, your core started to slightly weep onto your underwear almost enough to seep through the pants you had on.
"i love you.. so much wanda.."
You moaned out her name very softly. You were breathless almost it felt like your heart was a ticking time bomb that was about to explode any minute, it felt like a dream, you couldn't believe what was happening.
She smiled almost stupidly as she felt you grinding down against her thigh, with every thrust she was in a trance, she couldn't help but assist your movements with her hands placed upon your waist controlling your speed and motion, they soon made their way inside of your shirt as she fondled with your chests making you whimper a bit more.
You could taste all of her, the scent of cherries, wine and vanilla that always kept you longing even more for her was blessing the aroma of your apartment.
Your hands roamed her body, feeling the heat of her skin through her clothes, while her fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you even closer. She deepened her tongue into yours the faster you moved, the more urgent the desire became, building to a climax that left you both gasping for air. Your heart pounded in your chest, matching the rapid pace of your movements as you edged closer and closer. looking into her eyes you couldn't believe you were having this moment with someone you loved for so long. She slowly pulled your body weight off of her, her hand making its way towards the zipper of your pants as she looked at you for assurance to keep going.
As you looked at her gaze, you communicated with her without speaking a single word, your face softened as you took in the warmth of wandas presence you felt your chest flutter as you nodded then her hand slipped into your waistband slowly inserting her two cold fingers into your warm, wet core you slightly hissed at the feeling until you slowly sunk yourself deeper onto her fingers grinding a bit faster. She smiled at you again as she noticed your desperate movements it made her desire for you skyrocket, you finally let out a heavy exhale as you were holding your breath for so long from being so tense from the situation as she looked into your eyes while softly running her fingers through your hair helping a wave of comfort come over you as she pressed her lips against your forehead while pumping her fingers into your core as you breathed heavily before plastering and peppering her faces with kisses. Your movement was somewhat weak from the spell that wanda was putting you under almost as if she was a witch.. maybe a love witch.
"im sorry if it's bad-"
You immediately cut her off with pressing a kiss to her you felt her smile come onto your lips while you pressed against hers making her melt like ice cream.
"nonono- it... it feels so good wanda."
You said almost breathlessly as you smiled and assured her. This gave her more confidence as she started to speed up her movements not in a rough way, but in a way that lovers made love to each other. She felt her wrist start to cramp up a bit so she started using her thumb to draw circles over your clit as you threw your head back giving her mouth enough space to place kisses onto your neck leaving you with marks that were going to be very visible the next morning. More whimpers started to escape your mouth as you almost felt her knuckles go slightly deeper when you plunged your body weight lower onto her hand slightly giving you a sense of overstimulation.
"you feel so good y/n.."
You finally snapped out of your trance still having wandas fingers pump your clit not too aggressively but not too soft but just enough to go at a regular pace you couldn't help but feel a bit of shock as her pupils dilated even more with each thrust she sent to your core she was looking at you as if you were a god, holding you to the highest power or maybe to her this was what heaven looked like.
"im going to..-"
Finally a tight feeling in your stomach started to take over you as much as you tried to hold back for wandas pleasure you couldn't help but be selfish and let your own desire take over. As soon as she heard those words she started pumping her fingers at a faster pace making you slump into her arms even more causing her to wrap a arm around your waist as she lifted your shirt up with the swift movement of her mouth and started sucking on your breasts mumbling a few sentences over and over like:
"You're so perfect."
"I love you.."
In the moment you didn't mind if those words weren't true but you knew later on you would beg to know whether or not the statements that spewed from her mouth were true.
You finally reached your climax as you felt your throat tighten your words were incoherent as they were muffled by your moans of wandas name over and over, your breasts being latched on by wandas mouth causing a wet sensation all over your body, your fingers tangled up in her hair causing a mess, and your core felt empty as she pulled her fingers away from your throbbing core, you noticed the mess you made over wandas hand slowly dripping to her elbow you couldn't help but hide yourself as you nuzzled into her neck. Wanda immediately protested this, she pulled your head back to give you a clear view on how much you meant to her, she slowly brought her fingers to her mouth until you grabbed her wrist trying to fight her from doing the act that would drive her away from you but she pulled away from your grasp and immediately licked her fingers clean as she stared into your eyes with love filled in them. You were shocked from the sight as no had ever been so kind to you something that was yours was in her mouth, more hers than yours now.
Again, she pressed her lips forcefully against you, making you taste the mix of your juices and her lips mixing a feeling of love within you, You pulled away as you tried to catch your breath coming down from your high you were about to close your eyes until you felt her pick your sore body up from the couch and moving it to your bedroom providing more comfort for you both as you laid next to her you couldn't help but smile at the image that you dreamed about for months, it finally came true and that's all you needed.
She let out a slightly shaky breath, her chest rising and falling in a tender rhythm the same way your chest was also rising and falling down while you were still coming down from your high. Her fingers, warm and soft, gently caressed your cheek, tracing delicate patterns as if she was trying to remember the outline of your face. Each stroke was a silent testament to her feelings.
Her pupils dilated with adoration, and you couldn't help but smile from ear to ear at her touch. Yet, despite the bliss of the moment, the intrusive thoughts started to gnaw at you. Desperate to push those thoughts away, you spoke up, your voice barely a whisper.
"You're gonna regret this wanda.. i know after this.. tomorrow morning you'll just go back to being with vision.."
The words slipped out with your breath, and as soon as they did, you wished you could take them back. You watched helplessly as her expression shifted from one of pure love to a sadness that brought tears to your eyes. Regret washed over you.
"Why would you say that?" she asked softly, her voice trembling. Her eyes, which moments ago had been filled with love and adoration, now shimmered with unshed tears. Her brows knitted together in a mix of confusion and hurt, the corners of her mouth trembling as she tried to understand your words. "Why would you think I'd ever do that?"
You looked down, unable to meet her sad gaze, feeling the weight of her emotions pressing down on you with guilt lingering on your tongue. You could almost feel the ache in her heart, the way her hope had faltered in the face of your doubt, you regretted every word you said.
"I- i dont know-"
She took a shaky breath, her hand reaching out to touch your cheek once more, as if seeking reassurance. "Do you really think im that type of person?" she asked, her voice breaking slightly. "That you believe I would ever regret loving you? shit, even making love to you?"
Her words hit you causing you to be a emotional train wreck as the tears that were lightly shedding started to pour out of your eyes as you sobbed reaching for her grasp in a moment of comfort wanting to just run away. The vulnerability of her words really showed you how much wanda cared about you, she was willing to fight for what she believed in, and that made you love her even more.
"I just dont wanna get hurt" You confessed, it wasn't wandas fault that you felt this way but from your past you were so used to partners abandoning you at your lowest and you even begged them to stay, you hated seeing yourself so miserable so when it was time for your college years you started to rely on meaningless hookups for a sense of something but it never brought you anything.
She wiped your tears as she brought you into her arms carefully taking in your scent and ruffling her fingers through your hair to send comfort to you as she shushed you, knowing the more you talked the more you were willing to cry.
"I would never do that to you."
"I think loving you.."
A beat, she sighed for a second catching her breath as she almost started to break down again from the sight of you crying.
"I think loving you was the best decision i made in my life, don't ever let your thoughts consume you like that again okay?"
Her unwavering love, the sheer depth of it all, filled you with a mix of hope and slight regret. You nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in your throat.
"I'm sorry it was just a stupid thought" You chuckled rubbing your eyes as they slightly burned from how much tears you poured out tonight you were slightly embarrassed but you didn't mind since you had wanda there for you.
She pulled you away from her slightly so she can make sure you take in her words with bittersweet promises and love.
"Don't ever push me away again.."
"I love you."
You smiled at her words, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. She leaned in, her lips meeting yours in a soft, tender kiss. you seemed to melt away in her presence as she gently laid you down again, her arm wrapping securely around your stomach. She snuggled up to your body soothing all your worries.
Your eyelids started to grow heavy, and everything around you began to come into a blur. Yet, just before you surrendered to wandas comforting embrace, you managed to gain a bit of consciousness. With a sleepy smile, you mumbled back to her, your voice soft and filled with love.
"I love you too.."
Each touch of hers was a silent declaration that she was willing to stay with you no matter what. Finally lulling you asleep.
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running-with-kn1ves · 6 months
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I have enjoyed your some of stories! You are a wonderful writer and I'd like to request a story if you don't mind.
(Kinda related to you mimic one)
Can I get a Yandere male monster that traps the reader in an endless fourth-dimension-like plane? Their they are trapped in a place (whatever you decide) with the monster that endlessly stalks them with mimic appearances or voices, gaslights, acts psychology cruel, and is generally highly manipulative. The creature loves the reader but loves in an utterly devoted alien way.
No non-con. Toxic/forced relationship but no non-con. Plus, I've also believed that any truly alien/nonhuman creature wouldn't think nor desire sex in the same way as us humans do.
I hope you consider my request and have a great day!
A/N: This was sent in a WHILE ago, but here is my interpretation!
CW: Sleep paralysis-like/mimic creachure, kidnapping (?), possessive dialogue & behavior, nightmares, etc. 
Synopsis: You wake up to something staring at you from the end of your bed.
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Apparently no matter how many melatonin gummies you take, your sleep is not guaranteed to be a peaceful, long-term slumber. You too, can be awoken in a deep sweat while stuck to your mattress by an unseen shadow figure in the corner of your room. A couple nights ago it was in-between your closet doors, but something about that just wasn’t close enough, apparently.
It reached the end of your bed, black blurred fingers reaching up like the cold beneath your blankets, your ankle crushed by the grip of a frigid hand. It drew you forward, sliding you unceremoniously to the end of the bed. Your eyes were frozen, going watery as your body cramped. fear turned your skin into needles with your heart on the verge of exploding inside of you.
 Each time ‘it’ came to visit you, it was enough to paralyze you in a suffering state of fright. You thought sleep paralysis demon’s were supposed to stay in their corners, just barely touching the tips of your toes, keeping you frozen in fear from a distance. But this, it came to huff on you with damp breath, always feeling unbelievably real, even in the achy mornings. 
You were slid to the edge of the bed, silent screams unable to escape from your mouth as each leg disappeared into darkness, the rest of your body slowly following. You were being dragged into some dark, fuzzy hole of emptiness, yanked completely in by a twisting arm. It circled around your ankles entirely like shackles, turning your feet purple. 
Your wide, dilated eyes were shifted from seeing the spinning blades of your ceiling fan, to the stary black of a rippled room of infinity. The “sky,” twinkled with small dots of light, but they sparkled in a way most stars didn’t. The ground wasn’t wet, but it seemed to flow over you, like waves of blurry obsidian sea brushing against the sides of your body. 
The collective cackling of grainy, laughtrack voices in sync rang out. It was a flashbang of noise in the echoing universe, this other realm repeating sound differently than you had ever heard before. 
“So easy…. Too easy!”
You recognized the voice to be from one of the characters in the show you watched before going to bed… but you couldn’t remember, who it belonged to. It was masculine, almost game show host-esque in inflection. 
You swallowed. You felt worse, frozen in this infinity pool of unknown, trapped to the floor and completely exposed to whatever dragged you in here.
‘Wake up.’ You scrunched your eyes shut. ‘Wake up…!’ Your toes wiggled, still feeling that abyss of dark ‘water.’ ‘Please just wake up!’ 
“There’s no use, not when I have your body here stuck in limbo.” 
The face of your 10th grade “boyfriend” appeared, peering down at you with his post-braces teeth, shining like a shark. But that wasn’t him, it wasn’t even his skin. Parts of him were twisted and too fractured, blurred out as if details of what he truly looked like were manufactured to be hidden. 
The beast, it had his voice though. 
“You looked so vulnerable while sleeping, turning blissfully frightened when you saw me hiding…” He laughed with a snort, a trait your highschool 5-second ‘lover’ often let out. 
But that face was quickly peeled off by black fingers, blurry ones, those that ripped you from your bed. The dark mass left behind turned into a handsome young surgeon, one on the telenovela your friend had forced you to watch the other day. He was famous in Brazil, often for playing the devious, unexpected villain. 
You could see the smile in his eyes before he took of the surgical mask, piercing greens big and bright with cheekbones sharper than the scalpel he killed his victims with. 
You could hardly mumble between your tight lips, frozen as a gloved hand ran down your navel.
“I’ve seen what humans look like on the inside… but you make me so curious.” He spoke, slight portuguese accent snuffed by a long black tongue glazing over his full lips. “But I would never hurt my sweetly gentle creature, who couldn’t help but walk into my den… Should’ve been more careful in your dreams, my dear.” 
“Wht’re talkin’ abt…” Cold drops fell down your neck, lips sewn shut as your gaze unwavered against the demon surgeon. His soft pupils were growing large enough to consume him. 
“Our little, how do you say.. Date.”  His pearly teeth disappeared and swirled into a new face, a 2D one of your childhood cartoon crush, the one you had the pleasure of lucid dreaming a cuddle session of. He had needed your help, desperate and despairing as he was stuck behind a midnight-colored, steel door. “Only you can open it.” He ushered, muffled behind the lock as he pleaded for release. He sounded so guttural, so unlike how you remembered in the hundreds of episodes… 
But that smug, one-liner attitude and charming face that taught you love as a child came through and it praised you for such kindness. He was so flattering, your consciousness wrapped around his finger as the character of your dreams fed you sweet line after line. 
“Have you never heard of leaving unknown doors closed in the unconscious world? Or were you too dense-headed to realize some dreams are too good to be true.” Your cartoon crush spat, A clawed hand coming up to pinch your cheek. 
“Then again if you hadn’t been so brainless, we wouldn’t get to be here together. I guess I have you to thank for making you so… capturable.”
You clenched your teeth, wincing with every painful beat of your heart the closer the creature came. It morphed from your beloved character to a faceless black void, red filling where its features should be. With a ragged snap, its breathing left in chopped pieces. Out sprouted its teeth, protruding from cracks in its ink skin, splitting in its sternum and human-like arms. Along the middle of its fadingly red-black face, layers of teeth were rubbed over with individual tongues. They all seemed to speak, to breathe in rhythm as they chomped and let out guttural purrs. 
“Plsz…Let m..go..!” You gurgled out, the sensation of its black wholeness wrapping around you like a blanket fort.
From its- his? Confession, you concluded he must be the reason your body’s been stuck in a deep sweat, spasming muscles immovable besides shaking against each other. 
Tendrils made of something similar to the thick fog crashing waves over you began to wrap around your legs, leaving a thick, snail slime against your skin with each slow slither. The tips of them had a mind of their own, tentacles swirling, tickling and inching as their latter, larger midparts connected to the shadow beast hanging above you. Each new textured offspring latched and crawled up your body, dragging you closer and closer to the lower half of the beast. Its humanoid-shaped head tilted, fingers-- not tentacles, this time-- grappled at your arms stuck to your sides. Its eyes began to sprout, polka-dotting his body as an array of eyes covered his void of a face.
“You wouldn't be able to live without me… those blissful dreams with whatever handsome creature preoccupied your subconscious. I'm all of them, and they are me.” A black gooey tendril circled around your cheek, the tip wiggling to caress. “I am the prince charming you have run to, night after night, begging to be let out of that hole until you finally caved.” Faces flashed on his empty skin, ones you faintly remember from past dreams that always seemed to make your heart skip a beat. Our rendezvous kept me going all this time..So long i’ve watched you in the waking world from the shadows, wishing I could hold that pretty, unaware face.. My savior, my pet; I'm finally free to trap you for myself!”
He flashed to red again, the tendrils and hands keeping you still staying all the same, before the horrors’ face returned to a horrifying amalgamation of teeth and haunting black eyes. 
You wriggled the small bits of your body that were free from paralysis, however that only seemed to be your tongue and toes, your arms jerking only minutely despite the screams inside your head telling you to move. Wherever you were, whatever time it was, it wasn't the same as your bedroom. You were limitless, the space around you nothing but a black hole sucking up everything around it into nothing. 
You hardly recalled the dreams it mentioned, The faces only barely ringing a bell. But it was enough for him to see the familiarity flash in your eyes, a smile piercing that mouth of a face that looked as if it wanted to devour you. 
“so tender.. so soft, I forgot what it was like having a human nearby at my disposal, receiving the flush of my form and my affection.. I'm afraid I'll never have the heart to free you from my burdened presence.” it chuckled a tad, fingers from its firmly real hands gliding to your shoulders. “Well, to be honest I never intended to, the moment I entered your sweet nightmares...”
You dared to think of speaking, only to find your mouth in a crumpled frown and the air in your chest nearly gone. It felt like you were suffocating under a great weight, sweating under your pajamas as a creature-like nail came to wipe away a drop of perspiration, or a tear, from your eye. 
“Now, let's see what fun we can have here before the sun comes up.”
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muzzlemouths · 9 months
Text
Hello hello, @chaoticgouda! It is I, your very very (very) late Secret Santa! Terribly sorry for keeping you waiting as long as I did — the story got away from me, and by that I mean I went slightly over the necessary wordcount.
You mentioned a love for horror, angst, and hurt/comfort, which I consider myself quite versed in, so I pulled out all the stops for this one. Hope you enjoy it! But, uh...do heed the warnings.
Dream-Eater!Moon x Insomniac!Y/N
Word Count: 8,540 Warnings: Fear and anxiety, isolation trauma, unreality, eye and mouth horror, body horror, (brief) gore, psychological horror
Three days, now. Three days since you’ve slept. Three days since that unblinking stare first crawled through the gap beneath your bedroom door, eyes like scarlet diamonds in a deep pool of nothingness and narrowed with an ire you couldn’t explain. Three days since you showed some spine and told it to go away. You’ve never suffered with sleep paralysis before, and you saw no reason for it to start now, yet you failed to come up with any better explanation for the thing at the foot of your bed. 
A flicker of motion draws your eyes to the far side of the room. The sweetgum outside waves with the breeze, gnarled branches contorting like ugly, knotted limbs, their shadow dancing across your wall under the full moon.
You’re acting like a child. No one else would flinch at a tree tapping its spindly fingers against the glass, or feel their shoulders tense in the stillness of an otherwise too-quiet room, the perpetuation of which is immediately interrupted by the softest ting of a bell. This brief distraction is all it takes. Your gaze snaps again toward the familiar set of eyes as if on cue only to find them missing. A bleak, damning emptiness in their place. 
Three days since the eyes first appeared to watch you strife with a good night’s rest.
Not once, in that time, have they ever moved.
It isn’t as though they possessed a body to carry them between positions, after all. The eyes were discarnate. Incorporeal. They had appeared in the darkness and in the darkness is where they stayed, with not head nor tail of any proper frame. 
Yet you are unequivocally aware of the hands that draw from the darkest part of your room to flatten against the foot of your bed — painted in a blue so deep it challenges the very night itself — and the gangly wrists that follow, knuckles sharp like jutting bone under stretched skin. Narrow shoulders that taper into a waist almost skeletal, pinched around a ribcage that doesn’t exist, digitigrade legs that go on for longer than they should. A ghastly body that wafts between tangible and formless, its crude excuse for flesh coming away like smoke and fading into the surrounding darkness of your bedroom. It is a struggle to see the ghoulish thing among the shadows, even as it climbs ever higher along your mattress, yet you find yourself incapable of looking away.
Perhaps this demon has you paralyzed, after all.
It certainly feels that way as the creature looms closer and closer, still, ascending your body where it lies frozen, scarlet eyes fixated ahead, until its smooth, expressionless face comes to rest dangerously close to your own. Again, that foreign bell rings out as it goes still.
You swallow your tongue and taste nothing but dread. Words collect uselessly behind your teeth as it raises a hand from beside your torso and brings it against your jaw, claws — carved into a needlelike point and inky blue as the fingers they’re attached to — trace a path along your cheek. A whisper on the skin, and only that. The strange sensation might even tickle if your heart weren’t threatening to squeeze between the bars of your ribcage and burst through your chest altogether.
This creature, whatever it is, awkwardly thumbs against the skin beside your eye and back down again. A bizarre hush, “Shhh shh,” spills between lips that aren’t there.
The tenderness it performs is decisively unpracticed. Even still, at the third and final ring of an invisible bell you suddenly find it entirely too difficult to keep your eyes open. Time appears to slow, a warm grogginess seeping between your bones as you continue to fight a losing battle, the siren call of sleep luring you in. Lower and lower do your eyelids fall, heavy with exhaustion, until you are able to convince yourself that the cold and unfamiliar weight against your chest is nothing more than a dream.
Then its maw comes open with silent resolve.
You aren’t sure how you missed them before; the teeth. Two rows of jagged canines that grin impossibly wide, its poor excuse for skin stretching upwards, eyes rolling to sit at the back of its scalp to accommodate a mouth that opens like a serpent’s unhinged jaw.
Adrenaline surges through your spine like thunder and ripples along the skin of your palm as it rushes through the shadow’s body and bashes into the switch of your nearest lamp. Yellow light floods your room in a blink, shooing darkness back into the corners as you look frantically for a demon that isn’t there. 
You are unbearably alone.
-
The following evening starts with the last cup in the coffee pot — it falls from the pot’s mouth with a sluggish dribble that heralds the emptied bottom, four mugs worth of the stuff with three chugged down already over the course of the afternoon.
It has been four days since you last slept.
This self inflicted torture is not without reason; regardless of how ridiculous said reason is. Nevertheless it had you doing everything in your power to stay awake. Currently, that meant surviving on a frankly excessive amount of caffeine and running circles through your apartment, desperate for any task that stimulated the brain and kept you from giving in to the sweet embrace of your bed.
These tribulations are not meant to be endured alone. The companionship of someone — anyone, be it friend or family — surely eases the burden of such a daunting task, but it isn’t that simple.
And you aren’t sure where to look for the camaraderie you so desperately seek.
The sun has already begun its downward path when you finish washing out the emptied pot and set it in the rack to dry, your drink forgotten save for the one gulp you savored before deciding that dishes needed to be done. The water runs too hot as you bow the head of a fork under the spout and scrub it clean between the bars. Even now you remember the static which paraded down your fingers the night before, rushing through your skin until it singed, the taste of fear so thick on your tongue that not even the coffee could outrun it. 
You dreaded the thought of returning to your bedroom later in the night and contesting with the thing that tried to devour you whole only a matter of hours prior. Maybe you could keep to the couch tonight, instead. Or, better yet, not let yourself rest your feet in any way to begin with.
Rest led to idleness and idleness led to sleep and sleep led to—
Thwack!
Your head snaps upward from the sink where your hands have begun to prune, watching through half-lidded eyes as the steller's jay outside your kitchen window throws a second twig against the glass. 
It’s a pretty little thing. A head and beak black as onyx, vibrant blue blooms proudly across its chest and down its back to the very base of its tail, which extends further than the average. Actually, the longer you look, the more it seems…off, somehow. Wrong. Its body is too large, its beak far sharper than necessary, and the eyes—
You break away from the window with a fierce shake of your head and firmly reprimand yourself for thinking that the eyes which stared back were scarlet. That isn’t possible. You’re sorely in need of a full night’s rest and it is this fact alone that prevents you from thinking clearly, already jeopardizing your ability to tell what is and isn’t real, apparently. You needed to get a grip.
The faucet bleeds money down the drain as you turn from it and find your beloved mug on the counter again, hands tender from the scalding water and trembling slightly as they bring the ceramic to your lips. 
But your coffee returns cold.
You’re confident that no more than a minute or two had passed since you last abandoned the mug — certainly not a lengthy enough time that your coffee should feel like ice against your lips.
Just another delusion brought on by fatigue, you decide. Time begins to lose its meaning when you refuse to keep your internal clock on track. You’re lucky this is the worst your symptoms have become with the strain that’s been collecting in the bags under your eyes already.
Nothing the microwave can’t fix, at least. It’ll lose the wonderful bite of a freshly poured cup, which is always unfortunate, but it’s better than trying to doctor this thing into a proper iced latte. 
You turn on your heel, narrowly brushing the sharp divide between your illuminated kitchen and the dark room beyond it, shadowed furniture staring back at you — dusty from a lack of guests — and make for the small radioactive box on your kitchen counter.
Narrowed eyes watch your back. A shred of the night comprised of knobbly joints and a starving mouth hung slightly ajar, scarlet gaze unblinking. It remains in place as you walk past it, just out of reach, keeping still like a wandering corpse in the corner of your livingroom.
It’s better that you don’t immediately sense its presence beyond a shudder at the base of your spine.
The microwave door opens with a pop, the slide of your mug along the plate grating against your already strained nerves. You slam the door shut harder than you mean to and see a scarlet glow staring back at you in the reflection.
Twisting on your heel exposes nothing but a dark, empty room.
You are unbearably alone.
The microwave screams at your back, announcing the completion of its task  — beep, beep, beep
beep
beep
beng
ting
ting
Silverware on a wine glass; a toast. The hurried look over your shoulder reveals an extravagant ballroom where your kitchen once stood. Mahogany furniture carved with intricate detail that stands over a polished floor, radiant and brilliantly gold under the eyes of an enormous chandelier. A crowd in lavish gowns, masks adorning each stranger’s face. Their waltzes slow to a stop as a glass of chardonnay lifts into the air.
Startling, you blink in rapid succession and peer from side to side in an effort to find the subject of this beautiful tribute, only to see all eyes turning in your direction. The stranger congratulates you to the sound of an uproarious applause — for what, you aren’t sure.
A familiar pair of eyes stares at you from the reflection in the glass.
Your heel swivels for the umpteenth time, neck snapping to catch a glimpse of the figure you know is there, now, refusing to be fooled a second time.
For whatever reason, the creature does not bother hiding itself from your stare. Perhaps because, despite its inherent familiarity, the form it takes now is nothing like the nightmarish frame it boasts in the shadows. 
Rather, it — he? — dresses in regalia akin to the rest of the masquerading crowd; sleek trousers and a poet's blouse, deep blue, cinched neatly under a bone-white corset at his waist. An enormous cloak hangs over their shoulders, bridged with silver chain, black as night on the outside with the promise of vibrant color hidden underneath.
A silvery mask carved into the shape of a crescent moon is fitted atop their face, and blue silks flow from behind it, spilling down his shoulders and tapering into a point like a vibrant comet, its end adorned in a large, pearlescent bell.
His scarlet eyes are damning on their own, but the ring of that bell is all you need to confirm his identity — you could recognize its song in your sleep. 
The irony of it all is lost on you.
The orchestra continues, the stranger's waltz continuing with seamless fluidity around you. A spinning pair blocks your line of sight for only a moment and just like that, he is gone. 
Nevertheless, the bell persists. Louder than boisterous laughter, sharper than the click of heels and clinking glasses, it echoes from every angle until you're made dizzy from spinning yourself in circles. Round and round you go, following each chime and always finding him just a second too late. Your effort to hunt him out of the crowd becomes desperate until you drive yourself mad with the sound, until its formerly pleasant ring becomes overwhelming. 
You throw yourself into the thick of the party at the barest whisper of its silvery voice and run yourself directly into a guest, their mask coming loose from the impact and falling with an ear-shattering clatter, harsher than it ought to be.
The instruments halt their song, heralding a pin-drop silence.
You're quick to stutter an apology and quicker, still, to crouch and pluck the thin decorative wood from the floor. It is light as a feather between your fingers, hardly weighing a whisper for the violent sound that pours through the room a second time as your eyes raise to meet the guest's and the mask falls again from your hand.
A smooth face stares back. Barren, colors bleeding together where the eyes, nose, and mouth are meant to be, like an oil painting — but the artist forgot to draw up the features, or there was an accident and their hand smudged through where the face normally goes. 
You shake another apology from your tongue and stumble backwards, your back meeting with the shoulder of another guest. The incessant thump thump thump of your heartbeat quickens still as you turn around to face the stranger, who shares the same fate. So, too, do the remaining guests lose their masks, each and every one of them falling away in comparative silence to reveal nothing behind them but stretches of empty flesh.
A scream climbs up your throat and rattles your teeth, trapped behind tight lips. You swallow around it like bitter liquor and squeeze your eyes shut, blocking everything out as best you can despite still feeling their voiceless stares burning into you, pleading for mercy between shaking breaths as realization strikes. You need to wake up. Wake up.
WAKE UP.
Your eyes snap open to the chime of a bell.
Scarlet eyes watch you from the back of the room. The figure turns, seemingly indifferent to what is happening around you, and makes for a door that hadn't been there a moment ago, disappearing through it without so much as a secondary glance in your direction.
A way out. Perhaps your only way out. You had no choice but to follow him.
Your knees threaten to buckle as they take you through the faceless crowd, idle bodies who turn to follow your escape but thankfully make no move to stop you even as you burst through the door and spill out the other side.
A single room greets you, empty of furniture and only half as bright. No bell accompanies it, the masked figure having disappeared already, and that remains true until you tiptoe forward and hear the click of the door shutting behind you.
The figure — Moon, you decide —stands before it, scarlet eyes wide and hungry as they settle on your trembling frame. He narrows the space between you with one smooth step and you respond in kind by replacing the distance with one step back, so on and so forth with increasing persistence to bridge the gap until he's walked you against the wall.
“That was almost too easy,” they hum.
The voice that answers you isn’t the one you were expecting. Actually, you weren’t expecting a voice at all. Thus far this creature has been nothing but growls and metallic rings. They’ve never encouraged the idea that they are capable of words.
“Why are you following me?” You swallow the quiver in your voice to demand.
“You followed me through the door, did you not?” He asks, and you can feel the way his grin splits behind the mask. “Come, now, don’t give me that look. I’m only trying to help.”
You can’t help the scoff that cuts from your throat. “In what way is this helping?” You exclaim. Then, thinking better of it, you shake your head, “Actually, don’t answer that. If you’re so willing to talk, suddenly, then I think I deserve to ask some questions myself.”
He stops in place where he had been encroaching on what small distance remained between you, the click of his heel lapsing into silence, as though the notion actually surprised him. Then, inevitably, the smile returns. He offers you a slow nod and gestures wordlessly for you to continue.
“Who—” your cheeks puff out in frustration, “what are you?”
His eyes light up, an expression that twists your gut in the face of his excitement. “I am a star,” he answers easily, “extraterrestrial dust, or something akin to it. A collection of atoms. Memories, thoughts, and concerns. A construct which underlines that which has happened, will happen, and is never meant to be.” He takes a bow, extending the cloak’s wing in his right hand to expose the whirling galaxy that shifts and stirs on the underside. “Somnium devorator, as your kind call me.”
The edge of your fear is replaced with the barest notion of curiosity — and beyond that, anger. This guy is talking straight nonsense as far as you’re concerned, and it doesn’t provide the answer you’re looking for, it’s only created more questions.
“Why should I believe you?” your eyes flicker between him and the remaining three walls, hopeful for another escape route — you don’t miss the way he moves forward each time you aren’t busy with words, “Better yet, why decide you’re going to take on an appearance like this,” you gesture vaguely towards him, “when you’ve been all too content with imitating a walking shadow until this point?”
Their head tilts sloooooow to the side, fingers twitching. The resemblance to a cat stalking prey is almost uncanny. “Thought this form might be less frightening,” he answers, notably skipping right over your first question, “are you not charmed?”
You dislike his choice of wording. More than that, you hate the laziness in his gestures, as though he has all day to play with you. If you were to believe him even in the slightest it would mean you were running around in his mise en scène — he has every reason to take his time.
It’s your turn to refuse him an answer, instead swiftly moving on with your long list of questions. “Alright, let’s say you’re telling the truth. Why go through all of this effort?” Your search for an alternative door returns with terrible news. Only the one exists. Effectively, you are trapped between two nightmares. You need to keep him talking. “What is it you want from me?”
Their mask begins to splinter, a sharp cheshire smile shining through the cracks. Moon’s voice lowers into a pitch that makes your stomach curdle. “I’m hungry, little dreamer,” shrill laughter escapes between his teeth, “and I think you’ve kept me waiting long enough.”
Alright, screw talking.
You break past him and shoulder your way through the door, more than willing to relive the horrors on the other side if it meant getting away from a creature that would have you for dinner if you stuck around any longer. Only when you’re past the threshold do you spare a glance behind you to see him stood in place, only those same, scarlet eyes following your path as the door shuts again. Turning around, you are met with the presence of an entirely different room.
Rather, a hallway. Bright and vibrant as the ballroom itself, it stretches on endlessly with no clear escape in sight, offering a parade of doors on either side, each door no different from the last as you pace forward. 
The door you first came from opens with an audible click, and you need not waste time looking behind you to know who enters through it. The chime of a silver bell sings to you outright.
Your brisk walk turns into a run.
The hall goes on for miles, still, offering you no relief in the form of escape when you enter through a door at random only to end up on the other side. An endless maze that leads you no further away from the masked creature, who follows you down the hall at an easy, nonchalant pace, happy to let you run yourself ragged like this.
Behind him, the room begins to crumble. As though the strings of reality were being snapped one by one, step by heel-toed step, the dream is devoured in his wake — it leaves nothing behind.
The small flame which started in your chest has crept between the gaps in your ribcage and set fire to every limb, now impossible to ignore, it burns and burns and burns. Your lungs spasm in a desperate attempt to suck in air as though every breath will be your last. Your legs plead for relief as they carry you through another door and this one, against all odds, leads to a room most familiar to you.
You’re right back where you started.
The empty room is different this time if only by the secondary door across from you, and although you are just plain sick of doors, by now, you aren’t going to curse a gift when it’s given. Instead, you march forward, pausing at the door you exited from only briefly to lock it in place. You aren’t hopeful that it will stop a reality devouring demon, but you can buy yourself some time at the very least.
Or maybe not. The doorknob twitches when you’re not two steps away from it, a low and frustrated growl slipping through the gaps, and suddenly you can’t get across the room and to the other door fast enough.
Your hand catches on the knob and gives it an earnest twist. Nothing. It refuses to be turned more than half an inch, evidently locked from the other side, and in a brief moment of outright hysteria you wonder if you’re struggling uselessly with the same door that stands behind you, having just locked it yourself only a moment ago. How cruel, in that case, to give you a false sense of hope.
The door at your back rattles and splinters at its sides as Moon rages just beyond it. Then it stills, all at once, and everything falls silent.
You dare not allow yourself to think they would give up so soon, your sigh of relief held hostage until you know for sure that you're in the clear only to hear the telltale ring of a bell echo through the gap beneath the door. So, too, does the shadow follow. A misty presence that you're more familiar with which pries its way into the bright room and recollects itself once its through, mask and all, and you are left trapped for what is likely the last time.
"Silly, silly me, thinking you might make this easy for me," Moon tuts, "are you quite done running now?"
“I wouldn’t be running if you weren’t chasing me,” you retort, nose wrinkling at the accusation. Your back presses up against the door as he ventures a step closer, but only that. You don’t bother trying to hide the noise you’re making as your hand wrestles fruitlessly with the doorknob behind you.
“You’re being ridiculous,” the demon sighs, “this could all go away if you would only let me help you.”
Back and forth, back and forth, the metal twists in your palm like your life depends on it. “Sure, I’ll just lie down and let you eat me, then,” you scoff, “I’m not stupid!”
Scarlet eyes blink behind the mask, quick with surprise. He stares at you with a look as though maybe you are a little stupid. If he believes it, he has no intentions of vocalizing the thought. Instead he deflates at the shoulders with another long, tired sigh and moves the cape aside so he can better reach for you — that is, he extends a hand in your direction, palm side up. Fitted in masquerade regalia like he is, it almost looks like he’s asking you to dance.
“Don’t be scared,” their voice lowers into a murmur, small and harmless when compared to the sharp grin that splits their cheeks. “I need you to trust me.”
You hardly have the time to consider it.
The silver knob finally gives in with a violent crack of metal screws and the door flies open behind you, pulling you back that final step into the embrace of nothingness — not a hall nor a ballroom nor anything at all catches you, rather, an endless abyss carries you down, down, down.
 Moon watches your plummet from the illuminated doorway until you fall out of sight.
Your body jolts awake with a start. You’re back in your house again, sitting on your kitchen floor and slumped against the cabinets. Just a dream. Just a really, really weird dream. 
Looking up, you notice the microwave still awaiting your input. The cup remains cold where it sits on the other side. Despite hearing its digital response clear as day — and the rhythmic beep beep beep that follows — you evidently never even got around to punching the numbers in. 
When had you fallen asleep?
You rub the remnants of shock and crusted sleep away with the heel of your palm and then use the counter for support to force yourself back to your feet, fitfully ignoring the way your muscles groan with a soreness that has no sane reason to be there.
A quick glance at your microwave lets you know that you were out for just under an hour. An alarming discovery, really, because at the time it felt as though you had been trapped in that hallway for years, and plunging through darkness for centuries.
You can’t risk falling asleep a second time.
You decide against drinking that last cup of joe, thinking better of it, since it’s bound to be stale by now and, anyway, all that caffeine might have been what gave you such vivid dreams in the first place. 
Still, you can’t help but wonder just how real any of it was, and the first thing you do upon picking yourself up from the floor is warily check around the corners for any signs of the shadowy figure…finding nothing and no one. How silly; it really was just a dream. 
You make your way out of the kitchen and into the livingroom, instead, turning on the lamp beside the wall on your way in so it basks the small room in light. The couch springs bounce as you slump against them, eyes already scanning the area for the television remote after deciding that you need some kind of distraction from whatever the hell all of that was. 
The feeling of its eyes on you still lingers.
Determined to ignore it, you continue digging along the seams until you find the remote between two cushions, and bring it forward with an exhausted sigh, hopping through channels one by one with no clear intent in mind and for only a few seconds before the screen abruptly cuts to black.
Confused, you try again, digging your thumb into the power button and getting about as far as you had the first time before the power cuts. Again, you turn it on, and again, the same thing happens. You’re less patient with the third attempt and must remind yourself that throwing the remote into your screen won’t solve the issue when it inevitably fizzles out before your eyes. 
Irritated, you spring from your couch on borrowed energy and pace forward to look behind the television, just to see if maybe the cord is hanging halfway out of the outlet, seeing as that’s the only conclusion you can think to come to. Everything looks to be in its place, though, and this does nothing but frustrate you further. You just wanted to relax, damn it.
Behind you, the familiar ring of a bell.
You turn around to find nothing there at all (a party trick that doesn’t exactly surprise you, anymore) and march back to the couch on tired legs, adamant to pretend the creature isn’t watching you from somewhere as you slump against the cushions again and reach for the remote. But it’s gone — of course it is — and you search everywhere for it; between the cushions, on the floor, even peering across the room to see if you brought it with you to check out the television, but no. Nothing. 
It is with a great and mighty sigh that you leave the couch for a third time, lowering yourself to the floor and climbing onto your hands and knees, deciding to check the space under your couch as a last ditch attempt at finding the damned thing.
A pair of scarlet eyes stares back.
You scramble backwards with an ear splitting shriek, narrowly avoiding the shadowy claws that swipe at your retreating form and tear a stripe through the hem of your pant leg when they catch. 
From a safe yard away you see the creature withdraw back into the darkness under the couch, its eyes narrowing in unmasked frustration. A thin line of shadow paces behind it like a metronome, left, right, left, right, the chime of its bell following suit.
A cat lashing its tail in agitation. Charming — cute, even, if this thing weren’t trying to eat you.
Perhaps it is the delirium from lack of sleep or perhaps only spite that drives you to do what you do next, which is to laugh. A noise that has the demon’s eyes losing their beautiful scarlet color, pupils dilating into pinpricks and leaving behind empty pools of black.
“Look who’s trapped now,” you sneer. “Can’t get me in the light outside of in dreams, can you?”
Thoroughly invested in your patronizing, you're much too distracted to notice the way he slinks further into the darkness, disappearing entirely only to resurface a moment later in the extended shadow of your lamp.
The laughter dies in your throat, replaced with a wary silence as you watch the demon slink formlessly around the light's base and up its long neck, careful to stay on the side bathed in darkness. A spindly body peels itself from the shadows and clings to the wall by the palm of its hands, then — with one smooth kick from half-formed legs — your only source of light meets the floor with an enormous clatter…plunging the room into darkness.
Well, shit. 
Moon is at your throat before you can think to crawl away, a towering presence that pins your back to the floor and snarls low into your ear. Strings of inky drool collecting between his teeth are the last thing you see before your head turns away, eyes squeezing shut, resigned to becoming the dreaded beast's next meal.
Until the presence of its hand at your cheek brings you to look again.
A noise not dissimilar to a purr dribbles from his throat as long, disjointed fingers comb through your hair, razor-sharp nails kept at bay with each slow, careful stroke. 
"I nnnne—" Moon's head shakes from side to side, words drawn with a sharp and tedious hiss, as if each one requires effort to form, different from the ease with which he spoke in your dream — after all, a shadow isn’t meant to talk. "Need you to trussssst me."
That was easier said than done. Still, they make no move to lash out at you, keeping, instead, to brushing his knuckles along the roof of your scalp and down the other side. If you didn’t know any better you would think he was attempting to soothe you, like a parent might comfort a child after a nightmare. And then it dawns on you.
That's exactly what he's doing. Or trying to do, anyway, as awkward and unpracticed as it is. You wonder how many times he watched humans perform this song and dance — if maybe he considered it a ritual, or just something that made the tears go away.
You search his eyes for anything trustworthy, and find the smallest twinkle of light within. "You...you aren't here to eat me, are you?" 
Again, Moon shakes his head. "Jussst the nightmare," he promises, "I will not hhharm you."
Swallowing around what small amount of fear you can, opting to trust him, if only for now, you answer the demon with a slow and wary nod. "A-And you’ll leave, after? When you’re finished, um—”
“Devouring, yesss,” His mouth parts to make room for a wetted tongue. It protrudes from the back of his throat to swipe over hungry teeth — glistening like stars in a midnight sky — drips of sticky black crawling down his jaw to land soundlessly against your skin.
You resist the urge to close your eyes again, decisively holding firm, even if your voice is anything but. “I — I can’t be the only one having dreams, even nightmares, around here. Why not move on to someone else?” You watch them pause, considering. It’s hard to keep the chastizing tone out of your voice. Demon or not, this thing is acting ridiculous, if not a little childish. “You could easily find someone else to hunt, right?” A grimace pulls on your face at the poor choice of words but, well, that’s basically what this whole week has been. Endurance hunting. They’ve only been waiting for you to tire yourself out — while exhausting themselves in the process. “I just don’t understand. Why are you starving yourself of a meal?”
An annoyed chitter clicks from between their teeth. “Why are you starving yourself of sleep?”
You bite the inside of your cheek hard, not wanting to let the ‘touche’ be spoken aloud. “You know why,” you say instead. “You saw the nightmare too, didn’t you? It’s worse than anything my brain has come up with in years. Worse than the ballroom, and the faceless strangers, and the endless hallway. Worse than—” your teeth clack painfully under the force with which your mouth snaps shut, decisively keeping that thought tucked behind you, but it’s obvious by his flinch that Moon knows what you were going to say, regardless.
The nightmare that crept into your mind four days prior was worse than even him.
Silence answers you. You aren’t sure what you expected, really. Why would a demon, even the tailed, belled, poor-attempts-at-comfort kind, have any sympathy for a bad dream? If anything, you’re sure he encouraged its existence. 
“What about it scares you so much?”
His voice jolts you from your thoughts, catching you off guard. Your answer is interrupted by the quiet voice of a newscaster as your television roars back to life and blue light pours from the screen — forcing him back under the couch with a weak hiss. Evidently, his strength to mess with your electronics is finally all used up.
“It’s…stupid,” you begin, attempting to sound bored as you lift yourself by the elbows and shrug. You consider twisting around to power off your television manually, but the short length of distance between you isn’t terrible. It allows you some breathing room — and an excuse to not look him in the eyes as you continue. 
“There’s no monsters or faceless crowds. It’s just me in this big, empty space, and I’m…alone. Unbearably alone.” You smile; a wry and pathetic attempt at pretending even as your own words betray you, hushed into a whisper. “That scares me more than anything.”
Your eyes search his own for any sign of empathy. You’re sure the implications are not lost on him; the single pillow on your bed, the absence of texts from friends or calls from family, your furniture left to grow dusty with no one around to impress. The lack of evidence that you aren’t already living the nightmare you’re so desperately trying to avoid.
The bell rings through their continued silence, tapping gently against the floor where their tail sways, his expression unreadable from under the couch. You fidget awkwardly with the torn hem of your pants and decide to continue, if only to fill the silence. “I don’t expect you to understand,” you admit, “it’s natural for you to be alone — hazards of your line of work, right?” 
The words come off as a joke — lighthearted, even if the laugh that follows is dry — but his bell falls silent.
“...It can get lonely, sssometimes.”
Your mouth goes dry, all attempts at humor dying in your throat at once, and you frown. Their awkward form of comfort immediately comes to mind. How long have they been watching humanity from the sidelines, you wonder. Curious if not hopeful for a glimpse of that life. What it might feel like to be comforted, or to hold someone’s hand, or even just have someone to talk to. Even in the crowd — even in your dreams — he kept his back against the wall, entirely alone. 
Maybe he understands more than you think.
“You know why, then. Why I don’t want to risk falling asleep and— and going back to that.” Your eyes betray you. Despite your best efforts you can not stop the tears that brim at the corners, thick with frustration and a bone-deep exhaustion, they burn hot against the dark circles beneath your eyes. You swipe at them with the bottom of your shirt, refusing to let them carry down your cheeks. “Even if you promised to get rid of the nightmare for good, I— I cant. I don’t want to experience it again.”
More silence answers you. God, this is humiliating. You begin to wonder if it was childish of you to assume the monster under your bed would pay your worries any mind. Those scarlet eyes only stare, apathetic and cold as the day you first saw them. You decide he isn’t going to give you the answer you want and so move to stand, but his throat offers a whine, halting your retreat, and his eyes are suddenly wide with thought.
“What if I show you something scarier?”
A funny noise slips between your teeth; something between a laugh, and a scoff. You crawl forward to lie down beside the couch, stomach to the floor, placing your head on your arms so you can stare him down at eye level. “Scarier than my nightmare?” You ask, “I doubt even you would be able to pull that off. I’m desensitized to all of your tricks, already.”
The creature’s grin is wide and sharp, that of a truly frightful thing. You wonder, then, why his eyes look so terribly sad. “Not all of them,” he tells you. “How about we ssstrike a deal?”
Your mother had always warned you about making deals with demons. Well, she hadn’t, but it’s common sense not to. That said, your common sense left the stage three nights ago, at minimum, and your curiosity currently ruled the intermission. You wanted to see where they were going with this. “What did you have in mind?”
There it is, again — that shrill laughter. “If I scare you, mmmore than even the nightmare,” Moon begins, “you will sleep for me.”
Your brow creases, eyebrows pinching together. “And if you can’t?” You ask, “If my nightmare is still worse than whatever you manage to come up with?”
“Then I’ll leave,” he promises, “and I won’t return.”
Oh. Well, that certainly sweetened the deal, didn’t it? Especially since you’re completely sure he’s just talking out of his ass. He might have scared you a few days ago — and admittedly, he still does, now — but nothing compares to the dark recesses that have kept you up for three straight nights, of that you are certain. With this confidence in mind, your answer comes easily. 
Your hand extends toward them, disappearing into the shadow beneath your couch, and cool, boney fingers snake around your palm in turn. 
“You have a deal.”
-
The curtains in your bedroom are pulled shut, the door closed, and the overhead light turned off. Moon crouches like a stone-still gargoyle in the far corner of your room where the soft light of your bedside table lamp can’t get to him.
Lastly, you climb into bed. “Remind me again why I’m doing this?” The covers are pulled back, but you don’t yet get under them. “I don’t like the idea of being a sitting duck, you know. When you told me to turn the lights off I didn’t think you meant all of them. Silly me, I guess.”
“Hushhh,” Moon hisses. They nod towards the bedside lamp. “That one too.” Seeing your eyes narrow with suspicion, they have the gall to sneer, showing their teeth as they finally stands to full height. Even slouched as he is, his shadowed head brushes along your ceiling, too-long limbs hanging limply at his boney sides. They watch your hand reach for the light and hesitate, still, only risking one step forward to plead their case, scarlet eyes aglow. “You trust me, don’t you?”
You very much do not trust him, though you want to. In fact, in order for this to work, you need to. He knows this as well as you do, and you believe he is hoping you’ll cut him some slack, maybe. It’s fortunate, then, that you’re too deep into this mess to turn back now. 
“Just this once,” you tell him, and with the flick of a switch your bedroom lapses into darkness.
It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust, and it is for this reason that you hear the transformation before you see it. 
A sound like stretched wires and loosened, plucked seams carries through the room, his shadowed form beginning to lose its shape all at once. Scarlet eyes liquify cartoonishly, dripping like candle wax down his cheeks, mouth sagging in tow like a burlap sack coming undone. The space between their eyes purses open with ease, a gap just wide enough for tapered claws to snag against the flesh on either end and— 
Their skin is split open and shred like a viscous cocoon, peeled away to reveal something inchoate, a grotesque assembly of viscera, blackened entrails wrapping around a wiry frame of jagged, mismatched teeth, thin like cords and cables, bleeding together into a blistering excuse of a carcass that drips and oozes and spills along your floor, and it is alive, pulsing along his anatomy like winged insects smothering the bark of a tree
— and from every bend there is a humanesque face, featureless as the masked strangers and protruding as though they are trapped behind skin, and between each shallow crevice there grows an eye, swollen and frantically looking in all directions, the veined tissue stretched thin across the expanse of their chassis, each a vibrant red like the blood pounding in your ears. His macabre torso swings forward on backwards legs, crawling forward on all fours, the remaining six limbs dragged behind like deadweight as he reaches the foot of your bed.
You are not winning this bet.
The mere sound they make — a long, suffocated groan — is enough to make your blood run cold. Goosebumps swarm your arms, every hair standing on end. You retreat against the frame of your bed and face them with a whimper as the tears begin to pour, you can do nothing but sit there, knees tucked to your chest, confused and pitifully lost for what to say for fear that you’ll simply open your mouth and gag. A cold sweat builds along your skin and soaks into the sheets that are pulled taut under daggered claws as this—this thing ambles onto your mattress.
A pleading, vehement shake of your head makes them freeze in place. Your heart hammers out of your chest as all eyes twist forward to meet you with a hideous squelch, and suddenly the very act of breathing feels impossible.
Moon — or whatever has become of them — extends a single hand in your direction. Throbbing bone meets your cheek and brushes away the tears, stilling only when you flinch, and though his ever changing face gives nothing away you can tell, near-immediately, that you’ve wounded him.
You finally understand the careful wording behind his proposal. ‘If I scare you’, they had said. Indeed — worse than even the nightmares, Moon was a terrifying, monstrous thing.
Again does that familiar, shrill laughter fill your ears. "I wwwin." 
It's bitter. There is no victory in his voice. He knew the odds and played them well in his favor even at the cost of exposing the uglier side, and now you’re here, pressed against the headboard and faced with a dripping maw that is just ghoulish enough to make you forget about the way he smiled at you only a short while ago.
Your head shakes for another reason entirely, this time. “I—I’m not scared,” you insist, desperate to ignore the tremble lining your throat, “I’m not.”
Admitting it would mean losing and losing meant having to face another nightmare all together, but more than that, you force the lie between chattering teeth because the way he looks at you is devastating, as though he’s realized only now the damage that’s been done. You will never look at him the same way again.
Yet he remains firm, answering you with a murmur. "Come nnnow, firefly, a deal is a deal,” he tells you, “it’s time for bed."
The demon in your bedroom, heinous and ugly and towering, guides you softly beneath your many covers. He fluffs your pillow. He tucks you in. He considers another stroke through your hair, a kiss to your forehead as he’s seen time and time again — he decides against it. Instead, Moon draws himself away from you, imagining that you can’t bear to look at him for a moment longer. Prepared to wait by the empty corner of your room, instead.
You reach out — catch him by the hand. One of many. Viscous muscle dribbles over your fingers, cold to the touch, but your hold remains steadfast.
The sight he is met with when he turns around is that of you propped up on one elbow, eyes wide with fear of another kind, and he can’t help but return to your side. 
"Stay here?" You ask. "...I don't want to be alone."
His motley of eyes blink in perfect unison, though he says nothing, at first, thoroughly shocked to silence. Why call a nightmare to the foot of your bed? Was it a trick? An excuse to smother your guilt? They can’t imagine another reason. Yet, undeniably, they watch as you lower yourself against the mattress again and use your other hand to raise the covers, inviting him inside. 
And he nods too eagerly — climbs onto the bed in a hurry as if scared you will change your mind, and only then does he squeeze your hand back. 
“You’re not,” they promise, “I’m right hhhere.”
Inky puddles trickle against your sheets as they tuck themselves under your offering of blankets, disappearing to the space at your feet if only for a moment, and returning, again, with familiar scarlet eyes that blink at you from the darkness.
Smooth shadow fits against your palm and curls between your fingers, refusing to let go, and as you hold hands with this strange creature — who has brought himself to the very brink of starvation for your sake — you begin to wonder if your nightmare isn’t so impossible to face after all.
“Promise me,” you cram the words around a yawn, “you have to swear to me that you won’t let the nightmare go on for long.”
Moon smiles with both sets of teeth, extending a shadowed hand to you, and offering his pinky. “I won’t leave a crumb behind,” he says, “you have my word.”
Your laughter is wary, but there all the same, a weak and hopeful smile playing on your lips. You want to believe him. You have to believe him.
An unavoidable weight tugs at your eyelids as your pinky curls around his own, four days of exhaustion catching up with you at last, and finally, tucked against shadow, your eyes fall shut. And everything
goes
quiet.
This abyss is dreadfully familiar. The expanse around you is black as the night without any stars to offer relief, and when you cast your voice into the darkness, looking for someone — anyone — to call back, not even your own voice returns.
You are unbearably alone.
A cold chill runs through you, aching within your chest like a broken heart. Your body makes itself terribly small, arms tucking around themselves as tears threaten to spill over your cheeks once more, the feeling of isolation too much, already. It eats away at you until even the darkness feels like a comfort, and you want nothing more than to be swallowed up by it, so that you might never have to feel this loneliness again.
How wonderful it is, then, to hear the chime of bell.
Your whirl on your heel to see Moon before you, dressed again in masquerade regalia, bent at the waist and with his arm outstretched, a charming grin splitting his cheeks behind the mask. His offer to dance is left unspoken, and he will wait as long as you need, but you hardly hesitate for even a moment this time before accepting with a smile of your own.
He sweeps you into a dance immediately, humming the tune of a familiar waltz and he carries you around the dark expanse, hand braced against the small of your back, whisking you this way and that until laughter builds in your throat and the room doesn’t feel so empty anymore.
The stars beneath his cloak escape from the fabric to dance overhead.  Galaxies of purple and blue and orange, nebulas that are red and brilliant gold, constellations which illuminate the darkness until the surrounding color reflects underfoot, and you dance across a sky of stained glass.
He dips you with a flourish, cloak tails soaring above their shoulders like wings pulled straight from the night sky, and as his chin tilts to look your way you want nothing more than to draw the mask from his face and see the smile that lies beneath.
He is visibly wary as your hand reaches for its silvery frame, though he makes no move to stop you. Perhaps he is scared that you will hate what you find on the other side — scared that he is too frightening, too monstrous without something to cover his face. 
But as it comes away, and you are met again with those scarlet eyes, you think of nothing more than how happy they’ve made you. Your hand frames their cheek with another bout of laughter as you mind the many eyes and teeth under your thumb, and when his smile widens so, too, does your own, because for the first time in forever you don’t feel so alone.
And you think that maybe, just maybe, you never want this dream to end.
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maleyanderecafe · 8 months
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May I recommend Deep obsession on itchio? It's 18+ tho, so heed the warnings.
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Man... that sure is a r18+ game that I just played. That being said, there are some pretty interesting things after a lot of the smut parts were done. You can play the game here if you are interested. This is a game submitted to the Stained Red Yandere Jam which I will not only be participating in but also do recommendations from.
The story starts out with Hex on the news learning about how five reporters went missing after trying to go after a snuff streamer. Hex doesn't believe the news at first but becomes curious, searching into it. After some searching and getting a link, they log into one of the streams to see of course, a snuff stream. While horrified by the death of the lady on stream, Hex becomes entranced with their voice, something that they try to fight the urge to look to again. The next day, they go to the mall to get some snacks and hang out, only to have someone tap on their shoulder when resting. They find a chocolate in their pocket and presumably get their keys stolen (though they don't seem to realize this, believing they lost their keys) before going to sleep after the neighbors help them get in. After a restless night of what they presume to be sleep paralysis of being touched and watched, they get the morbid feeling of wanting to watch the snuff streamer again, to which they do. After jacking off and promptly falling asleep watching the stream, they wake up with a jolt, only to be kidnapped. Upon waking up, they find that they are indeed, captures by the person who they've been watching streaming. Hex actually gets quite into this, not only deepthroating but straight up asking the streamer to bite their thighs. They have various sexy times, with Hex seemingly into it.
If Hex is more or less chilled out, they will freak out when the streamer ends it stating that they will kill Hex. This turns out to be a lie, as the streamer actually keeps them alive as they like Hex. They reveal that their name is Victor. The last scene has Victor seemingly fighting his conscious as a mysterious person talks about how this will not last, how they are the same as the others, before he wakes up and coddles Hex to sleep.
If Hex screams, they will again freak out when the streamer states that he will kill them, though they reassure them that he will not. He also pretty much gets shot at, with the mysterious person, whose name is Simon, essentially recruiting Hex afterwards for something.
So far, it is a pretty interesting premise seeing Hex actually be into more of the snuff streaming things, considering how into Victor's voice they seem to be. I do like the kind of concepts where the MC is pretty messed up at least to this degree. We don't really get to know that much about Simon or Victor though. We know that Victor has been stalking Hex for a bit, considering I don't think it was sleep paralysis that was groping and watching them. And they seemingly know where Hex lives and even seems to know their name and probably gave them the chocolate while they were at the mall. Still, again, other than knowing that Victor is a snuff streamer, has no problems with killing people and likes Hex, we really know very little to nothing about him. Same with the Simon person who apparently hires us. I think it would be a cool twist that in the end Hex ends up being a snuff streamer as well, following in the twisted footsteps of Victor. The art style mostly consists of blacks and whites which is always a fun thing to see in terms of stylization. I'm not really into that kind of dark smut as much as other people (I'm more on the side of wanting to torture someone, but I know most people don't tend ot share that sentiment in the yandere community, so that's alright), but I think it can be appealing to those who are interested in that.
Overall, a short but dark story. Considering this is likely a demo, I am really hoping that they will flesh out more of the story for Victor and Simon since the start of it does seem to leave a lot of interesting pathways that might be nice to follow.
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monstersflashlight · 17 days
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The short sleep paralysis demon story reminds me of something that happened months ago. Sleep was pretty bad that time.
One night I felt like I was awake, eyes were open and I could see a bit in my room. However, I couldn't move. But suddenly it felt like a hand was caressing my leg. However I could see nothing near my bed. The hand went slowly higher up to reach my outer thigh. And honestly I began to feel a little nervous. So in response I thought out as loud as I can: ''If you want to do that stuff we better get to know each other first!'' Instantly the feeling dissapeared and that was the last time I had sleep paralysis.
I kinda miss that sleep paralysis demon. The feeling of that hand was so real -Distracted by monsterfucker stories anon
Hi there! Dude that sounds equal parts scary and good. I only had sleep paralysis once and I saw some kind of creature looking at me, like I could feel they won't hurt me or anything, but they looked so real but so freaky... Still think about it sometimes, too, I feel you on that.
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