#and theon just

[dipperscavern]

@cdragons & i were having some thoughts about secondincommand!reader.. specifically how she’d react to robb breaking his oath with the freys. believe it or not, they’re in love with each other. i don’t make the rules (yes i do)

tags — (@ghostinvenus)

secondincommand!reader who is the glue that holds the war camp together & keeps it running smoothly

secondincommand!reader who isn’t the strongest person out there, but don’t let that fool you. you’re often seen dragging 6’0+, 200lb northmen by the ear — giving them a scolding that would make tywin lannister look like a kitten

most problems are laid at your feet, not that robb doesn’t do anything, but the chain of command makes them be brought to you first. you have a knack for fixing things, and sarcasm runs through your veins where blood should be. you has nothing, if not the audacity

tough as nails, and fears only the gods, all the northmen call you doe. they say you’re the long lost daughter of stannis baratheon, stubborn as a mule, you’ll break before you bend.

so one can imagine how happy you are when you find out the king in the north broke his oath and married a nurse.

you give robb the absolute cold shoulder when you hear the rumors are true. robb and talisa stroll through the camp on their horses, and when you see them, you just stand there. theon glances at your stiffness, before you turn around and just walk away.

ʚ‎‏ ͜ ̩͙ ︵ ̩͙ ୨ ♡ ୧ ̩͙ ‏︵ ̩͙ ͜ ɞ

robb thought he was going crazy.

you had always been said to hold the camp & northmen together, and now, with you not on his side — he’s finding out how true that really is.

you haven’t spoken to him since he left & returned with talisa, abandoning his oath with the freys. if he asked you a question during a meeting, you’d answer the lord closest to you, as if he had asked you that, instead of robb. you had even resorted to speaking to him through theon, who found it hilarious.

“C’mon, Doe- you have to speak to me sooner or later.”

he’s this close to begging at this point. you merely turn to theon.

“Theon, do you hear that? It sounds like.. it sounds like a fucking idiot.”

theon nods. “Been a lot of those lately. Think it’s seasonal.”

robb runs his hands down his face as they both walk out, and eventually he confides in talisa about it. after all, she is his wife. she approaches you after a meeting, while you’re gathering her things to leave.

“I’m sorry if you’re unhappy with me, I’m only trying to do my best.”

you don’t miss a beat. “You’ve only put all our lives in jeopardy and half-way ensured we lose the war. Why should I be unhappy with you?”

she’s surprised by your boldness. talisa swallows thickly. “Feel how you will about me, Robb is your king. You should speak with him soon.”

you turn around, looking at her, brows pinched in faux empathy.

“I’m sorry- I don’t speak with southerners. Gives me the chills.”

“I’ve been in the North for many moons.”

“How interesting.” you finish gathering your stuff, walking out of the tent with lord karstark trailing beside you. he leans over to rub your shoulders.

“I can feel ya’ shiverin, child.” you both laugh, walking on.

ʚ‎‏ ͜ ̩͙ ︵ ̩͙ ୨ ♡ ୧ ̩͙ ‏︵ ̩͙ ͜ ɞ

your silence was eventually replaced by nonsense, and robb considered letting the lannisters march in here and put him out of his misery.

you had taken to speaking the language of old valyria, for all robb could guess. and the men around him could be none the wiser, theon included.

“Karstark, you’ll lead the vanguard. And Doe, you’ll command the archers.”

“Mememememeh..” you said, rolling your eyes. theon nodded.

“Agreed.”

he thought someone would stop you eventually, but no, he failed to recognize these men adored you. their little doe, a spitfire who could demand their lives & they’d fall on their swords.

“Stew good, Doe?” he asked, walking by the campfire you sat at.

“Ehmemememeh..” you said, shaking your head. the men sat around you only nodded, murmurs of agreement to each other spilling from their lips.

and when you did start talking to robb again (in the common tongue), he almost wished for the silence to return. no he didn’t.

“Glad you’ve started speaking with me again.”

“Tell me, how much speaking will we be doing if Walder Frey decides to behead us?”

he opens his mouth to speak, but you raise a hand.

“If I die because His Grace, King Robb, saw a bit of arse & his cock forgot the oath he swore, I am going to kill you.”

he thought the northern lords were going to burst a blood vessel with how hard they tried to hold in their laughter. in the end, their efforts did not prevail.

[maculategiraffe]

man if I was a russian mob boss and my worthless layabout son killed baba yaga's dog I'd just fucking give him up. like immediately. like call john wick's secret basement landline and be like "iosef's at the club. all his goons and bodyguards have been instructed to stand down. there's a new puppy on your front porch. do you want an edible arrangement or anything"

[lmaowh-at]

Catelyn heard someone snigger behind her. She loves him, poor thing, she thought sadly. She'd play his squire just to touch him, and never care how great a fool they think her... (and some other things)

[death-of-cats]

just like the concept of “oathbreaking” is insufficient to cover the Kingsguard’s moral transgressions so too is “kinslaying” inadequate to describe what was wrong with Theon’s murder of the miller’s boys!!!!!!!! the lines that society draws to permit or condemn behavior do not reflect the true weight of the deeds themselves!!!!!!!! it’s easy to see in westerosi society but what if it’s true in ours as well!!!!!

[visenyaism]

This is so true how DID Victarion get his fancy kraken armor without getting called the westerosi f slur like theon

[angelwingtrap]

A bird of suspiciously human-like sentience and symbolic dreams have been trying to get Jon’s attention RELENTLESSLY for 5 books straight and he is utterly clueless.

Meanwhile Theon has one (1) divine experience and is like “ohh I see there’s some shit going on here…the gods have plans for me…the ravens and the trees speak…they know my name…wow there sure a lot of ravens in the heart tree today…I’ll take the cue from the tree and find strength in myself to become Theon again to fufill my purpose”

[naggascradle]

Covers for A Game of Thrones, I (Jon Snow) II (Daenerys Targaryen) III (Tyrion Lannister) IV (Catelyn Stark) V (Ned Stark) & A Clash of Kings, I (Arya Stark) II (Theon Greyjoy) III (Sansa Stark) IV (Davos Seaworth) V (Bran Stark), drawn by Ken Sugiwara for the Japanese paperback release of A Song of Ice and Fire.

[babylonfelldown]

I saw a tiktok about Jon and Theon and it made me remember how fuking insane their dynamic is

They're broken mirrors of each other: both of them just want the starks to see them as family, they want to feel wanted, they envy and hate each other.

Theon is a trueborn son of a great house, an heir even, but at the same time he's treated as a squire and a ward when convenient, (he helps Ned and Robb), he's also seen as a hostage and a threat, never quite trustworthy. He says repeatedly that he never felt wellcome by the Starks and that the only one to have any affection for him was Robb. Theon dreams to be wed to Sansa, not because he loves her, but because them he would be a son for Ned. He envies Jon because even being a bastard he's loved by Ned (ln a way neither Ned or his actual father loved him), his sibilings (all of them) love him, even if Lady Stark doesn't like him, he is family in Theon's eyes.

Jon is a bastard, he's a shame that must remain hidden, it doesn't matter how much Ned or his sibilings love him, he will never be a true Stark in the eyes of westerosi society. He is trusted but his loyality is always at question, Jon is a threat to Robb's claim in many peoples eyes, like he wants his brothers birthright, and the worst of it all is: he does. He desperately wants to be a trueborn son, but he loves Robb deeply, more than he could ever wish to be legitimate. He envies Theon because he is a trueborn son, he is an heir, he will get to have a wife and children of his own, legitimate children that won't be called names.

Truely insane dynamic of hatred and envy that culminates with both of them trying to one up each other on everything.

[raventreehall]

theon is kind of like the douchey older stepbrother. the reese from malcom in the middle, the derek from life with derek. the rodrick heffley. spiritually this is theon and the starks:

[soup-in-my-fly]

🧪⚡️HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! May I TREAT you with a loosely frankenstein-inspired au? :3

[⚠️slight NSFW under the cut]

Theon and Ramsay both attend the university of Ingolstadt. Whereas Theon got accepted because of pure nepotism, Ramsay actually had to be SMART to study there. Typical Thramsay rivalry ensues, and Ramsay ends up deciding that Theon would make a PERFECT candidate for his crimes against nature.

[owlsinathens]

Like twins

[death-of-cats]

Theon I TWOW

my man is just having the time of his life while being actively tortured, your fave could never

[15-lizards]

ASOIAF modern AU class/wealth distinctions bc in the wise words of Mod Sam from the Inn at The Crossroads Discord: “i love modern aus where theyre like oh yeah the lannisters are filthy rich and here's the starks, piling into a minivan to go to public school. they would not fucking do that”

Lannisters: Private jets and COO/CEO/CFO positions at the family company and plain white tshirts that cost $5000. 1% of the 1%. They’re the Roys we already know this no need to elaborate.

Starks: they’re a rugged type of Minnesota/North Dakota/Wyoming wealth. Land rich. Own ranches and mining operations and oil drilling companies. Ppl think they’re normal bc they look like average farmers until they get a tour of their 300,000 acres and private mountain. Seem down to earth but grew up breeding ranch horses, don’t really understand what a car note is, and Nedcat paid for all the starklings college apartments. Also wear normal looking vests and ranching jeans and boots that cost absurd amounts

Tyrells: masters at the “quiet wealth” bullshit. Wayyyy older money compared to the Lannisters, and aren’t aggressive/scrappy like them bc of it. Literal aristocracy like lords or barons or some shit. Multiple residences, family tradition of politics, and loads of passive income. Maybe run a newspaper or two and own some global shipping companies bc of their merchant roots or whatever. Margaery was at one of those international debutante balls for the ubër-wealthy.

Tullys: Not as rich as the Tyrells or Lannisters but still nothing to scoff at. Not upper middle class but more like lower rungs of the upper class. Family tradition of sending all the kids to boarding school (that’s where Lysa got pregnant 🙂‍↕️) and they have some nice yachts and the like. Have one really nice permanent house on the river, a summer house upstate, and an apartment in the city. Normal enough to blend in with most people at their school. Also made their money thru shipping lanes.

Martells: Southern oil barons. Nymeria emigrated over and immediately discovered oil on her apparently shitty piece of land. Thousands of acres dedicated to drilling and cattle ranching. Awful for the environment but greenwash the fuck out of their business. Good at being a man of the ppl despite literally being in the one percent. Very publicly donate to progressive charities and causes to offset the backlash they get from pay the people who work for them slave wages. People stan them on Twitter because they’re hot and not like other billionaires.

Baratheons: slightly newer money but old enough to have no excuse to act the way they do. Loud annoying displays of wealth. Made their fortune mostly because they were good at being overly aggressive when it came to the stock market or sales or smthn idk what they do. Robert buys an egregious house in Florida where him and some other rich repulsive republicans do Labor Day weekend on their yachts with women they paid to be there. Absolutely terrible at saving their money (except Stannis and kinda Renly) and quite literally have to have their accounts frozen by their investment bankers. Actively going bankrupt.

Greyjoys: Not even rich anymore. Had a sizable shipping company at one point before they got poached bought out by the Lannisters. Also they engaged in too much tax fraud and embezzlement so now no one wants to touch them with a ten foot pole. Still live in their dilapidated cliffside house that’s literally ab to crumble into the sea. Theon got to live with the Starks bc once the Greyjoys got audited Ned felt bad.

Targaryens: REAL old money that stretches back like at least 500 years. Have had multiple income sources over the years and almost all of it is blood money of some kind and extracted through violence :) Giant ass portraits of their ancestors in their multiple residences, they all speak Valyrian at home, and they don’t even go to school it’s just private tutors. Obscene wealth that isn’t even fathomable to most people. Famously bred race horses and hunting dogs for a while until there was some familial infighting about ownership of the racetracks and stables and that collapsed. Got audited and investigated twenty years ago and Aerys just killed himself instead of going to jail.

[fleurdeliet]

Two weeks of Theon: day 7 - Drowning

Tumblr.... Open for better quality

[lycorim]

Iron Islands naming conventions are soooo funny because on one hand you have the most viking-ass names that ever did exist you've got Stygg you've got Gelmarr you've got Harl Jorl Qarl you've got Ragnor. A good number of them overlap with Freefolk names (idk what to do with that information either). But then a small handful would better fit in a Jane Austen novel with how fucking posh they sound in isolation. This is a post about Tristifer Botley.

[pigeon-on-a-wire]

I think I’m a lot earlier (Australia) than a lot of people in this community but oh well, happy new year!!!