#and theon just

[dipperscavern]

@cdragons & i were having some thoughts about secondincommand!reader.. specifically how she’d react to robb breaking his oath with the freys. believe it or not, they’re in love with each other. i don’t make the rules (yes i do)

tags — (@ghostinvenus)

secondincommand!reader who is the glue that holds the war camp together & keeps it running smoothly

secondincommand!reader who isn’t the strongest person out there, but don’t let that fool you. you’re often seen dragging 6’0+, 200lb northmen by the ear — giving them a scolding that would make tywin lannister look like a kitten

most problems are laid at your feet, not that robb doesn’t do anything, but the chain of command makes them be brought to you first. you have a knack for fixing things, and sarcasm runs through your veins where blood should be. you has nothing, if not the audacity

tough as nails, and fears only the gods, all the northmen call you doe. they say you’re the long lost daughter of stannis baratheon, stubborn as a mule, you’ll break before you bend.

so one can imagine how happy you are when you find out the king in the north broke his oath and married a nurse.

you give robb the absolute cold shoulder when you hear the rumors are true. robb and talisa stroll through the camp on their horses, and when you see them, you just stand there. theon glances at your stiffness, before you turn around and just walk away.

ʚ‎‏ ͜ ̩͙ ︵ ̩͙ ୨ ♡ ୧ ̩͙ ‏︵ ̩͙ ͜ ɞ

robb thought he was going crazy.

you had always been said to hold the camp & northmen together, and now, with you not on his side — he’s finding out how true that really is.

you haven’t spoken to him since he left & returned with talisa, abandoning his oath with the freys. if he asked you a question during a meeting, you’d answer the lord closest to you, as if he had asked you that, instead of robb. you had even resorted to speaking to him through theon, who found it hilarious.

“C’mon, Doe- you have to speak to me sooner or later.”

he’s this close to begging at this point. you merely turn to theon.

“Theon, do you hear that? It sounds like.. it sounds like a fucking idiot.”

theon nods. “Been a lot of those lately. Think it’s seasonal.”

robb runs his hands down his face as they both walk out, and eventually he confides in talisa about it. after all, she is his wife. she approaches you after a meeting, while you’re gathering her things to leave.

“I’m sorry if you’re unhappy with me, I’m only trying to do my best.”

you don’t miss a beat. “You’ve only put all our lives in jeopardy and half-way ensured we lose the war. Why should I be unhappy with you?”

she’s surprised by your boldness. talisa swallows thickly. “Feel how you will about me, Robb is your king. You should speak with him soon.”

you turn around, looking at her, brows pinched in faux empathy.

“I’m sorry- I don’t speak with southerners. Gives me the chills.”

“I’ve been in the North for many moons.”

“How interesting.” you finish gathering your stuff, walking out of the tent with lord karstark trailing beside you. he leans over to rub your shoulders.

“I can feel ya’ shiverin, child.” you both laugh, walking on.

ʚ‎‏ ͜ ̩͙ ︵ ̩͙ ୨ ♡ ୧ ̩͙ ‏︵ ̩͙ ͜ ɞ

your silence was eventually replaced by nonsense, and robb considered letting the lannisters march in here and put him out of his misery.

you had taken to speaking the language of old valyria, for all robb could guess. and the men around him could be none the wiser, theon included.

“Karstark, you’ll lead the vanguard. And Doe, you’ll command the archers.”

“Mememememeh..” you said, rolling your eyes. theon nodded.

“Agreed.”

he thought someone would stop you eventually, but no, he failed to recognize these men adored you. their little doe, a spitfire who could demand their lives & they’d fall on their swords.

“Stew good, Doe?” he asked, walking by the campfire you sat at.

“Ehmemememeh..” you said, shaking your head. the men sat around you only nodded, murmurs of agreement to each other spilling from their lips.

and when you did start talking to robb again (in the common tongue), he almost wished for the silence to return. no he didn’t.

“Glad you’ve started speaking with me again.”

“Tell me, how much speaking will we be doing if Walder Frey decides to behead us?”

he opens his mouth to speak, but you raise a hand.

“If I die because His Grace, King Robb, saw a bit of arse & his cock forgot the oath he swore, I am going to kill you.”

he thought the northern lords were going to burst a blood vessel with how hard they tried to hold in their laughter. in the end, their efforts did not prevail.

[maculategiraffe]

man if I was a russian mob boss and my worthless layabout son killed baba yaga's dog I'd just fucking give him up. like immediately. like call john wick's secret basement landline and be like "iosef's at the club. all his goons and bodyguards have been instructed to stand down. there's a new puppy on your front porch. do you want an edible arrangement or anything"

[lmaowh-at]

Catelyn heard someone snigger behind her. She loves him, poor thing, she thought sadly. She'd play his squire just to touch him, and never care how great a fool they think her... (and some other things)

[wraithwen]

devil on your shoulder <3

[naggascradle]

Covers for A Game of Thrones, I (Jon Snow) II (Daenerys Targaryen) III (Tyrion Lannister) IV (Catelyn Stark) V (Ned Stark) & A Clash of Kings, I (Arya Stark) II (Theon Greyjoy) III (Sansa Stark) IV (Davos Seaworth) V (Bran Stark), drawn by Ken Sugiwara for the Japanese paperback release of A Song of Ice and Fire.

[ray-botic]

theons

[msphagime]

||The Divine Right to Rule||

Been thinking about puppet king Theon lately

[visenyaism]

This is so true how DID Victarion get his fancy kraken armor without getting called the westerosi f slur like theon

[babylonfelldown]

I saw a tiktok about Jon and Theon and it made me remember how fuking insane their dynamic is

They're broken mirrors of each other: both of them just want the starks to see them as family, they want to feel wanted, they envy and hate each other.

Theon is a trueborn son of a great house, an heir even, but at the same time he's treated as a squire and a ward when convenient, (he helps Ned and Robb), he's also seen as a hostage and a threat, never quite trustworthy. He says repeatedly that he never felt wellcome by the Starks and that the only one to have any affection for him was Robb. Theon dreams to be wed to Sansa, not because he loves her, but because them he would be a son for Ned. He envies Jon because even being a bastard he's loved by Ned (ln a way neither Ned or his actual father loved him), his sibilings (all of them) love him, even if Lady Stark doesn't like him, he is family in Theon's eyes.

Jon is a bastard, he's a shame that must remain hidden, it doesn't matter how much Ned or his sibilings love him, he will never be a true Stark in the eyes of westerosi society. He is trusted but his loyality is always at question, Jon is a threat to Robb's claim in many peoples eyes, like he wants his brothers birthright, and the worst of it all is: he does. He desperately wants to be a trueborn son, but he loves Robb deeply, more than he could ever wish to be legitimate. He envies Theon because he is a trueborn son, he is an heir, he will get to have a wife and children of his own, legitimate children that won't be called names.

Truely insane dynamic of hatred and envy that culminates with both of them trying to one up each other on everything.

[krabatdog]

westerosi gentle parenting

[dipperscavern]

Hi I genuinely love your work can you pls so some drabbles about Robb and a reader who's super touch averse in public but very cuddly in public

I love u pls don't die

-🥻

i live to serve!! thank you very much for the ask (i love u more) (was gonna die but i guess i wont just for u.....)

robb stark x fem!reader

theon’s voice rings through the hall, hands on his hips as he watches the chandelier be lowered. "Careful, Jon…. careful."

jon, lowering it, finds his ‘direction’ anything but helpful. "I'm bein' careful."

the chandeliers candles have been burnt down almost completely, and you had been assigned to the task of replacing them. you had only sought out jon to help lower it, but boredom is a contagious disease, making theon and robb jump at the opportunity to pass the time.

“You’re lowering it too fast.”

jon is patient, but theon is regal in his talent to annoy anybody, and peace is best found when his mouth is closed. you’re about to tell him so when robb beats you to it. “Shut up, Theon.”

he turns to robb, but a sharp noise cuts him off before he can retort. he jolts, and you stifle a laugh at his jumpiness.

he turns, finding the source to be the chandelier hitting the limit on its ability to be lowered. the glares he shoots at jon - whom is tying the chains into place - are not enough to wipe the smirk from his face while he does so.

jon abandons your construction crew at the first available opportunity - a wise choice. even while on a ladder replacing candles, you can't escape theon's nagging he likes to call "supervision".

"The shortest ones should be in the center. "

"Have you done this before?"

"That's not where it goes."

"I'll show you where it goes, Greyjoy." you call down, losing your sanity after a meager five minutes. theon raises his hands in surrender, looking to robb for support, but is only met with a shake of his head. “Fine then, do it wrong.” he mutters under his breath. “No skin off my back.”

minutes of sweet, sweet silence pass, and eventually, you sigh much louder than intended. it betrays your frustrations.

you start to move down the ladder, and robb calls from below. "What is it?"

"Ran out of candles. I think we-" the ladders instability is proven when you're about to touch the ground, and it moves under your weight. you would've fallen, if not for robb's reflexes. his grip is bruising, but welcomed in face of the alternative of hitting the floor.

"You alright?" he aks. you nod. "Thanks, Robb."

you're quick to slip out of his hold, feeling white hot embarrassment crawl up your spine. its only theon, you tell yourself. somehow, it doesn't help. robb doesn't hold it against you, letting you go without protest. he's nothing if not understanding.

theon notices, brows furrowing as you retreat to resupply in candles. once you turn the corner, he pipes up. "What's all that?"

robb fights with the ladder, trying to bring some stability to it. "All what?"

"You know what. She's your lady and you can't touch her?"

robb turns slightly as he glances at theon. luckily for him, you're not around, meaning he doesn't have to keep his language proper.

"Just because the whores you accompany like to be groped in public," he says. "doesn't mean my lady feels the same."

the greyjoy is apt at recognizing defeat. "Fair enough."

eventually, the ladder starts behaving, not nearly as shaky as it was minutes ago. robb sends a quick thanks to the gods, and when he turns back around, your pretty face pops around the corner. you wave him over, and he shoos theon off before making his way over to you. 

“Get lost on the way?” he says, approaching. “Big castle, s’ alright.” your eye roll in response is nothing short of the greatest reward. you turn and start walking; he follows with a lovesick smile on his face.

“I’m in need of a tall person, as someone... quite intelligent has decided to place candles on the very top shelf.” 

robbs glad he's walking behind you, so not to give away how he fights a massive grin. someone intelligent must have done that, of course. “Tall,” he repeats. “Yes,” you confirm. 

“And handsome, surely,” he adds. “They’ll hide if you aren't. Theon can never find them.”  

he catches a glimpse of your smile as you open the door to one of winterfells (many) storage rooms. not huge areas, but comfortable enough for their intended purpose. you weren’t lying – they really are high up. he forgets to pretend to not know where they were moved.  

if you notice, you don't bring attention to it, only moving to stand on a small stool next to the space robb fills while reaching for what you need. these specific kinds of candles are tricky, stood on a tray & quite easy to knock over. he hands you the tray in front, reaching to get the one farther back.  

“Robb?” he hums, holding a tray of his own. “Thanks for catching me. Really.” he murmurs something in agreeance, brows lightly furrowed - you already thanked him minutes ago. not that he’s complaining, of course.

still on your stool, it makes it easier for you to reach out, caressing his curls. “I don’t mean to be difficult, I just get...” your hand drops as your sentence trails off - he wishes it wouldn’t. “You make me nervous.” you manage, stepping off your stool. 

“Hey,” he temporarily blocks the door. your eyes meet his. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

you shrug like you don’t believe him. he scoffs. “I should lock you in here... talking to yourself like that.” he opens the door for you with a shake of his head, catching another lucky glimpse of the smile you try and fight off. he allows himself a final mutter of, “Blasphemous, really,” 

[borzoish]

someone who would die for you and more (but it ain’t me, babe)

[raventreehall]

theon is kind of like the douchey older stepbrother. the reese from malcom in the middle, the derek from life with derek. the rodrick heffley. spiritually this is theon and the starks:

[death-of-cats]

Theon I TWOW

my man is just having the time of his life while being actively tortured, your fave could never

[soup-in-my-fly]

🧪⚡️HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! May I TREAT you with a loosely frankenstein-inspired au? :3

[⚠️slight NSFW under the cut]

Theon and Ramsay both attend the university of Ingolstadt. Whereas Theon got accepted because of pure nepotism, Ramsay actually had to be SMART to study there. Typical Thramsay rivalry ensues, and Ramsay ends up deciding that Theon would make a PERFECT candidate for his crimes against nature.

[owlsinathens]

Like twins