#and then when you find the solution how will it take to implement it? what happens if that timeline is shortened?

[wildflowercryptid]

as much as i love galar and have a soft spot for its story... it would've been a lot more interesting if it was an anti-monarchy story instead the weirdly dismissive climate crisis allegory we got.

[medicinemane]

I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity

Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all

And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me

It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been

But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel

...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this

One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help

Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out

I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all

...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut

Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?

I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already

...everyone means well, it's just tiring

[copperbadge]

I have a lot of feelings about the use of AI in Everything These Days, but they're not particularly strong feelings, like I've got other shit going on. That said, when I use a desktop computer, every single file I use in Google Drive now has a constant irritating popup on the right-hand side asking me how Gemini AI Can Help Me. You can't, Gemini. You are in the way. I'm not even mad there's an AI there, I'm mad there's a constantly recurring popup taking up space and attention on my screen.

Here's the problem, however: even Gemini doesn't know how to disable Gemini. I did my own research and then finally, with a deep appreciation of the irony of this, I asked it how to turn it off. It said in any google drive file go to Help > Gemini and there will be an option to turn it off. Guess what isn't a menu item under Help?

I've had a look around at web tutorials for removing or blocking it, but they are either out of date or for the Gemini personal assistant, which I already don't have, and thus cannot turn off. Gemini for Drive is an integrated "service" within Google Drive, which I guess means I'm going to have to look into moving off Google Drive.

So, does anyone have references for a service as seamless and accessible as Google Drive? I need document, spreadsheet, slideshow, and storage, but I don't have any fancy widgets installed or anything. I do technically own Microsoft Office so I suppose I could use that but I've never found its cloud function to actually, uh, function. I could use OneNote for documents if things get desperate but OneNote is very limited overall. I want to be able to open and edit files, including on an Android phone, and I'd prefer if I didn't have to receive a security code in my text messages every time I log in. I also will likely need to be able to give non-users access, but I suppose I could kludge that in Drive as long as I only have to deal with it short-term.

Any thoughts, friends? If I find a good functional replacement I'm happy to post about it once I've tested it.

Also, saying this because I love you guys but if I don't spell it out I will get a bunch of comments about it: If you yourself have managed to banish Gemini from your Drive account including from popping up in individual files, I'm interested! Please share. If you have not actually implemented a solution yourself, rest assured, anything you find I have already tried and it does not work.

[theliteraryarchitect]

A Word of Advice About Critique Groups, Beta Readers, and Other Peer-Based Feedback on Your Writing

In my time as a professional editor, I've had many writers come to me with stories they've been trying to improve based on suggestions from critique groups, beta readers, or other non-professional feedback sources (friends, family, etc.). The writers are often frustrated because they don't agree with the feedback, they can't make sense of the comments they've gotten, or they've tried their best to implement the suggestions but now they've made a big mess of things and don't know where to go from here.

If this happens to you, you're not alone. Here's the deal.

Readers and beginning writers are great at sniffing out problems, but they can be terrible at recommending solutions. For that reason, critique groups can be a disastrous place for beginning writers to get advice.

Here's a good metaphor. Imagine you don’t know the first thing about cars. Someone tells you, “There’s oil leaking onto the driveway. You should cover the car with a giant garbage bag.” Alarmed, you oblige, only to be told the next day that “now the car smells like burning plastic and I can’t see out the windows.”

A mechanic would’ve listened to the critic’s complaint and come up with their own solution to the leaking oil, ignoring the amateur’s ridiculous idea, because they know how to fix cars and can use their skills to investigate symptoms and find the correct solution.

Critique groups actually aren’t bad places for experienced writers, because they can listen to the criticism, interpret it, and come up with their own remedies to the problems readers are complaining about. Beginning writers, on the other hand, can end up digging themselves into a deeper hole.

There's a great Neil Gaiman quote about this very conundrum:

Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.

So what to do?

First, try to investigate the reader's complaint and come up with your own solution, instead of taking their solution to the problem. Sometimes, in the end, the reader's solution was exactly right, which is lovely, but don't count on it. Do your own detective work.

Second, take everything you hear with a huge grain of salt, and run the numbers. Are 9 out of 10 readers complaining about your rushed ending? It's probably worth investigating. Does nobody have an issue with your abrasive antagonist except your cozy mystery-loving uncle? Then you might not need to worry about it.

Third, give everything you hear a gut check. Does the criticism, while painful, ring true? Or does it seem really off-base to you? Let the feedback sit for a week or so while you chill out. You might find you're less sensitive and open to what's been said after a little more time has passed.

Lastly, consider getting professional feedback on your writing. Part of my job as an editor is to listen to previous feedback the writer has gotten, figure out whether the readers were tracking the scent of legitimate problems, and offer the writer more coherent solutions. Of course, some professional editors aren't very good at this, just like some non-professional readers are amazing at it, so hiring someone isn't a guarantee. But editors usually have more experience taking a look under the hood and giving writers sound mechanical advice about their work, rather than spouting ideas off the top of their head that only add to the writer's confusion.

Hope this helps!

[indierpgnewsletter]

There's Other Kinds Of GM Advice: Theatricality versus Transparency

(This first appeared on the Indie RPG Newsletter)

I find that broadly there are at least two kinds of GM advice – and they have a very different philosophy underpinning them.

The first kind of advice aims at all costs to maintain verisimilitude. It’s a solution that you can implement without breaking the players’ immersion in their characters. This can just be stuff like Matt Colville explaining that if your players are taking too long discussing plans, guess what, orcs attack! We’ve all probably played a game where people were going in circles and not able to decide what to do. If it looks like we’re not able to decide, we’re probably going to be relieved if the GM makes something happen to break the deadlock and prompt us back into the action.

(Historically, this kind of thing was taken to egregious lengths like Gary Gygax saying if players start acting uppity, have a rock fall on their head. It’s mostly gone now but reddit tells me that Cyberpunk Red which came out relatively recently still says something similar.)

The second flavor of advice involves breaking character and talking to your players directly. I know “talk to your players” is a mantra repeated so often that autocorrect suggests it as soon as you type the letter t. At its worst, this advice is vague and unhelpful. We’ve all considered talking frankly to people in our lives, we just find it awkward and hard and annoying. But, but, but – at its best, just describing the problem as you see it and escalating it from a character discussion to a player discussion will make it go away instantly. Like magic. (If you’re not sure what that means: In a previous issue, I discussed Jason Tocci’s excellent advice on escalating conversation in this way.)

And since the theatrical flavour of advice has the weight of history on its side and transparent advice keeps getting boiled down to mantra form, I thought I’d write down some examples of situations and some alternative ways to handle them:

Situation 1: The players are marines discussing whether to dive into the alien lair and recover their stolen engine (their main goal) or go and see if another missing team of marines is okay. There is only 45 minutes left and this is a one shot.

Theatrical: The other marines suddenly come on the radio and say, “hey we’re okay, please complete the mission.”

Transparent: “Hey, folks. There’s 45 minutes left. If we don’t do the alien lair now, we won’t be able to do it at all. Is that fine?”

Situation 2: The players are low-level fantasy nobodies who have a famous wizard friend. They’re about to tangle with some medium-level bad guy and decide to call in their wizard friend.

Theatrical: When the players try to contact her via a telepathic phone call / spell, she sounds breathless and says she’s busy doing something way more important like fighting a dragon.

Transparent: “Hey, folks. If we get the wizard in, she’ll absolutely make this fight a cakewalk. We won’t even need to roll initiative really. Is that what you want? Or would we rather have a fun fight?”

Situation 3: The players were having fun exploring when they meet a cool NPC (an android! an elf! an android elf!) who has this interesting backstory with an urgent, earth-shattering hook. They go along with the android elf because it seems more important but immediately look like they’re having less fun.

Theatrical: Narrate how the android elf meets a group of other android elves and have the elf say, “Hey, now that I have these folks helping me, you can leave it you want!”

Transparent: “Hey, folks. Talking to you as players here, do we want to stick with this whole android elf plot here? It does mean that we won’t do any open-ended exploration. Which would you prefer?” If they want to ditch the elf plot, you could just retcon it entirely or do the theatrical solution.

All of these situations have happened at my table. They’re all relatively low stakes and I think whichever way you handle it, it’ll probably be fine. But that said, some situations absolutely work better when done transparently so if you’ve never tried the transparent way, give it a shot. If immersion matters a lot to you, try it at the end of the session.

/End

PS. The theatrical options often still require the players to willingly suspend their disbelief and go with it. If a player didn’t play along, they might just say “I thought their radios weren’t working, otherwise we could’ve just contacted them before. Why can they suddenly contact us now?” or “Oh, the wizard is fighting a dragon right now. We can totally wait. There’s no reason we need to fight the bad guy right now.” And sometimes I can’t shut off that part of my brain either so I won’t judge. But if there’s a way to sidestep that situation even coming up, I’m going to take it every time.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

This one has been circling in my mind for a while and I’ve been waiting for the full headcanons to open up for it.

M6 and MC have an argument, and MC abruptly left to clear their head. It’s been an hour or two and it’s begun to storm, and MC hasn’t come back yet. Whether MC returns on their own or the M6 end up going out to find them, they find MC soaked to the bone and freezing cold.

- 🌿

The Arcana HCs: When MC argues with M6 and gets stuck in a storm

-- to set the scene --

It was so inconsequential, you don't even remember what it was about. All you can remember is that you had decided to take a walk to avoid blowing the disagreement out of proportion, and before you knew it, you were a good ways away from shelter and a storm was rolling in. It's impossible to stay warm in the downpour that soaks your thin clothes. When you see your lover again, you're drenched, shivering, and much more lonely and depressed than you expected to be.

Julian

He originally tried to follow you out, if only because he could tell that you were upset and he didn't want you to have to deal with it alone. Once he saw that being alone was the point, he left it

Of course, being left by himself wasn't helpful. His anxiety began to blow the whole ordeal out of proportion, and by the time the storm hit, he was half convinced that he had ruined your life

It goes without saying that Julian and storms do not mix well

When you finally make it back to the front door of your home, soaked and shivering, it's eerily dark and quiet inside

Julian's curled up in the corner, anxiously wadding his coat up into a crumpled ball in his lap, sniffling because the fire went out

He's leaping up and fussing over you as soon as you walk in

Building the fire back up, bringing you a warm change of clothes and a towel, chafing your cold hands between his for warmth

He's babbling almost incoherently about how worried and frightened he was and it's not hard to realize half of it is the storm

It ends in a resolution shaky with relief, holding each other and slowly warming up as you both agree to try processing better

Asra

They're more than happy to give you space - if an independent moment to yourself is what you need to figure things out and self regulate, then please, have at it! Take your time and be safe

While you're gone, he'll try to take his mind off of things - and then get fidgety when he can't - and then get frustrated when his best option is to just ... wait until you get back

They eventually give up and head out after a couple hours to check on you, not realizing it's raining until they open the door and you're standing right outside dripping wet

All of the heartache is catching up and hitting him right now and he's bundling you inside, eyes full of concern and hurt on your behalf, trying to care for you without overstepping your space

You're freezing! Can they - can they hold you? Only if you want

As upset as he is by the poor state you're in, he's a little relieved that he has the chance to put things back in perspective without needing to scramble for elaborate words to communicate

They love you so much more than an argument - disagreements can be resolved, what matters is you, safe and happy, and loved

Nadia

Fine. Take your space, and while you're doing that, she'll enjoy some time to herself as well. She doesn't take well to feeling brushed off, and this is triggering that just a little bit

Spends the whole time you're gone trying to be productive and muttering to herself about just wanting to fix the problem

Notices that the time drags on, notices the storm rolling in, and stubbornly stands by letting you have what you chose for yourself

And then blaming herself when you return soaked and shivering

This, though, this is problem with a clear solution that she can implement, and she drops everything she's doing to get you into a hot bath and full of warm food and dressed in soft clothes

She's not leaving your side for a moment

But she does want to talk - about how helpless she felt when she wasn't able to reach you to make things right, about how you deserve your space but she doesn't like to feel brushed off

Her tone is disappointed, not in you, but in herself

Highly likely to cuddle you and suggest a spot where you can take your space but she can still reach you in an emergency

Muriel

You needing space is more than understandable. Take as much as you need, he'll be here when you come back

He doesn't love sitting with negative thoughts and feelings, but he's used to it and can handle it fairly healthily

He still worries, though, and when an hour passes and he feels the atmosphere shift, he's getting on his feet and walking out the door to track you down and bring you something rainproof and warm

He doesn't expect you to have walked so far, or for the rain to come down so quickly, or for you to look so small and feel so cold when he reaches you

You can stay upset with him if you want to, but he wants to carry you home. Please let him carry you home

You might be ready to talk about it, you might only want to mumble an apology for leaving without speaking, you might prefer to stay quiet. He'll still hold you like you're made of glass

He'll lay out everything you need and bring you a hot drink, focusing far more on the safety and stability of your home together than the thing that made you upset. You can talk about it later

Portia

She understands you needing space and you're welcome to take it but she hates being left alone to feel strung along and unimportant and she knows that wasn't your intention but -

By the time you walk in the door shivering, she's crying from frustration and working it out by aggressively cleaning out the cottage and making food from Nevivon

The first thing you hear when you walk in is a horrified gasp

She assumed you were fine, you're clearly not fine, don't tell her you've been out in the rain all this time! Get in here, she's fixing you up until it feels like it never happened at all. Talk to her!

Her main impulse is to scold you, considering how much you're accidentally reminding her of her brother right now

More than anything, she's worrying that her love for you might not be enough, that she was too pushy about talking to her and forced you away, that she wasn't clear about her core motive being love

To cut a long story short, she needs a decent amount of comforting too. After the scare, after she's fed and cuddled and snuggled you, she needs some safe, gentle hugs from you

Lucio

He actually thought it would be fine. He's an adult, you're an adult, adults need space sometimes! It doesn't necessarily mean that he did anything wrong -

Okay you've been gone for five minutes and you left really fast and really quietly and the abandonment issues he doesn't want to acknowledge are making their existence felt

He's just going to distract himself and pout in self denial until you get back, and then give you a big hug when you do

YOU'RE FREEZING AND NOW HE'S AS SOAKED AS YOU ARE

What happened? Did you stay out in the storm like that, alone?? Are you that mad at him??? Tell him it isn't so!

It's not, thankfully, but after that roller coaster of emotions he's gluing himself to your side for mutual comforting purposes

He's drawing a bath, and then he's taking it with you. He's getting something warm to drink, and he's drinking it with you. He's hunting down blankets, and he's snuggling under them with you

Sometimes, in life, people make oopsies. He's lucky enough to have a partner who knows how to recover from them with him

[chucapybara]

"fighting your own war, i see."

no observation could be more astute—only befittingly made by the sharpest claw aboard the yaoqing. you're coaxed by its soothing, rumbly notes, out from the vices of your torrential thoughts, if only for a moment.

teal gaze, neon jades soften at the edges, seeing the disarray of tools and writing implements; your own weapons, ones she could never quite wield even half as sharply as you, scattered in your quivering hands, across your desk. it was something she admired with great ease, of course. she loved—no, adored—the way you navigated your own expertise, a helmsman of script and ink. but in this moment, yours were not the features of a scrymaster in writing; rather, almost a frazzled possum. even you're not certain when's the last you've risen from your seat for a sip to hydrate.

"i..." you try to wring reason out from your throat, but all that comes is a helpless squeak. the curl on her lips is tender, understanding; she knows the plight of plaguing doubts and worries. even the "invincible" was not immune.

she reaches, calloused knuckletips brushing against your cheek. it prompts you to take a deep, trembling breath, taking lungfuls of her, all fresh breeze and verdant forest and humming steel unabiding, yet bending in commiseration beside you. as bamboo does, you sway to her wind, exhaling into her palm, seeking more of her touch.

"here. scoot over a little."

that's what she says, defiant of the startled squeak you release as her unfailing grasp slips beneath your thighs, lifting you with ease. you grapple for balance, finding it in the firm of her bicep—still full against the sleeve of her silverine coat—as a soft chuckle falls from her lips.

and then you're curled up on her lap, the arbiter-general having taken your seat now. you have half the mind to grumble a protest, but even your lover's presence is more welcome than the swirling maelstrom of worries hailing upon your mind.

she knows this. she knows this, knowing your every twitch and flutter as she knows each gleam and nick and etch upon her blades, though she finds she prefers holding you more in recent times.

you needn't say anything, for her to already have a solution planned. her arms cradle you close to her figure, a deep rumble of contentment in her chest as she heaves a languid breath. it's warm against your ear, prompting your instinct to burrow into the crux of her neck, one of three where she scents strongest.

a being of war, she was, born to live and die by it, but it never fails to perplex you how a single whiff of her brings you instead to cloudsong prairies and moonstrung lilies.

you nestle closer still, nose to her pulse, her very lifebreath a calming quell, an equilibric wave that washes over you. home, you think. this, i've forgotten.

her hand finds anchor by the small of your back, steadying, as yours splays over her willful promise, thumping against your touch. your eyelids fall shut, and you breathe her in again.

fresh breeze, verdant forest, humming steel unabiding.

you find ease, here, in the eaves of turquoise gems and tender claw, just as she finds breath anew in you.

[thesirencult]

PAC READING: YOUR DIVINE FEMININE'S AURA

Discussing your feminine's general aura and characteristics. Friendly for both men and girls/theys who like girls. You can also pick it to see how your aura is as a feminine ❤️

Book your reading by sending me a private message xoxo S.

Pile 1

7 of pentacles, 8 of pentacles, 10 of swords

Your DF has the aura of a sweet herbal witch. She lives in her little cabin in the woods and like a fairy she works on perfecting her craft. Greens and purples look great on her.

This is a slow and steady energy. This is someone who loves taking their time. She loves learning and implementing her skills. Making coffee becomes a daily ritual and same goes as washing the dishes.

Her attention to detail is immaculate and that can drive you crazy sometimes but you know that with all that good comes some bad. Very well presented, you can take her anywhere and all eyes will be on her. Very earthy, stable and focused on building a foundation for all things practical before she jumps onto commitment.

Her steady "working on myself" attitude stems from getting backstabbed one too many times. She knows that she has to build herself up and after that all her dreams will manifest. She is into self development and may love going through that tag on Tumblr. She may even be a blogger herself.

She is investing in herself and doesn't shy away from learning about accounting or law. Nothing will stand on her way to that cute fairy cottage *aggressive cute walk* 😉.

Pile 2

9 of pentacles, queen of swords, the magician

Whoever has this DF as a counterpart or has that aura, WOW. Miss Independent. A handful. We love seeing that *sprinkle, sprinkle* here. CEO. That's C-Suite energy!

This woman is someone powerful and dominant. Like a race horse you will always bet on because you KNOW, it will always come first 😉 (pun intended). She works very very hard for what she wants and similar to pile 1 she can be in accounting, finance and law. Good with numbers and her hands. I bet she has a dirty sense of humour.

From the first moment you see her you will know she is the real deal. Others blend in the background while she power walks in the room. Penetrating stare and red bottom high heels, her allure is different. She doesn't have to show dominance, others feel that she is the boss. Mami energy. Ferocious when someone comes for her loved ones. She could even be in law enforcement.

Red and brown. Symbolising high energy that's still grounded and serious. Do not cross her.

Pile 3

King Of Swords, Knight Of Wands, Ace Of Swords

Now, this one? A handful ! Try to tie her down. You just can't. A brat.

This person is very fluid. They don't care about terms and conditions. They are highly intelligent and her mind walks a thin line between spirituality and logic. The most unconventional, they will find a solution no one sees yet it's right in front of them. Highly intellectual and well versed in philosophy and math.

This reminds of a movie with James Franco where he played a start up founder who was into spirituality. A crazy genius. A party is a party and they will be there.

Partying in Ibiza? They've done that. Phuket for a Muay Thai Camp? That did that last year! Eiffel tower to try a croissant with pistachio filling? They just got back yesterday and guess what? They hate pistachios.

This person is the type to run a start up company focused on clean energy and when shit hits the fun they will call an astrologer and ask for recommendations. They respect everyone. They will listen to your mom and dad when they talk about their days and take mental notes of great ideas. They know great ideas come from the most unconventional places and fields.

Pile 4

Page Of Cups, Page Of Swords, The Fool (5 Of Swords + 8 Of Swords + 5 Of Pentacles flew out)

This can be my age difference pile. They will run you to the ground lol.

This is someone with lots of mental capacity. You ask them about World War II and they will tell you how Nazis and Churchill used astrology and why the war happened and after 5 hours you will be listening to them about Ancient Mesopotamia. "How did we get here?" You will think.

Well, it doesn't matter cause you love listening to their voice and their warm heartfelt laugh. They look innocent and pure and even if they try to intimidate you you will let them think they can but in reality they look like a cinnamon roll and they are a cinnamon roll. Their life was not the best and they have lots of trust issues. They may look innocent but their eyes hide a painful past. Like a kitten thrown out and left out in the cold they feel lost and unappreciated.

You listening to them means the world and you will be shocked at how appreciative they are and how loving with you. They are very romantic and they may have great expectations and daydreams about their love life.

I get that you might start off as friends and meet in a very random way on a daily run or while getting groceries or a tire changed. You will immediately fall in love with them and they will seem like they don't suspect a thing. Let me tell you, they know, they are just too scared to show their feelings and until you grab them and kiss em you won't know how much passion is brewing underneath this innocent and clever facade. They might turn into pile number 2 in a few years lol.

Ready for everything, you will always be a warm embrace and their home when they come back from exploration. You will love how they yawn while reading a book and how they stretch when they wake up showing revealing their tummy. They are cute to you, even if everyone else sees them differently, that's how you view them. They might be a black mysterious cat but you think of them as a tired little kitten waiting for a safe home that will accept them as they are.

[kaylopolis]

Alastor's Shadow (18+) - Afterword

Alastor x F!Reader

Synopsis: There’s a new Overlord in town and it isn’t the Radio Demon. Six years after you fell into Hell, you have finally earned your seat at the table as Pentagram City’s newest and baddest and with the Extermination coming six months earlier than planned, it is now time to implement your ultimate endgame. After all, who doesn’t love a bit of power and chaos? Your plan brings you to the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel as Charlie’s newest Redeemer, but who you find waiting for you will not only turn your entire plan upside down but also challenge your grab for power… 

Tag List: Slow burn, rivals to lovers, eventual smut

Masterlist Link: Masterlist

Spoiler Warning: Please read this after the Epilogue

Dear Hoteliers,

Before we begin, there is one thing I’d like to address: why did I kill Alastor?

Alastor’s death, believe it or not, was not about Alastor.

While you were dying, your thoughts were not fixated on him, nor were they fixated on Mary Marie if you read that alternate ending. They were about the abuse you experienced as an Angel of God. After all, this story, the very first thing that brought you to the Hotel was revenge.

But this was not a story about revenge. That all changed in Chapter 14 “Picking a Fight,” when you and Alastor finally caved and gave in to your feelings for each other.

No longer was your Endgame plan clear cut. Things got complicated. Alastor had to accept you and the plan or it didn’t work. Why? Because, again, you thought your story was one of revenge.

Alastor’s death - the demon saving you, looking after you over the years he was “dead,” and the lengths you went to revive him - changed that narrative. Because now it was not about Alastor accepting you and the Endgame plan, but you realizing that your story could not go on without him.

Literally, hence the time jump.

I did this for your character development, closure of your character’s arc, and because it has been the theme from the beginning of this work: power born from love is a thousand times more powerful than that born from fear.

Hence, the power, chaos, and love modified mantra I ended with.

So, if love was the solution/closure you needed why were you so fixated on the abuse as you died? Why did you not find resolution in those final moments (hence the “your fault” present during this scene)? Why was there no healing from your triggering past during this fic?

I intentionally did not want that sub-plot to find an ending because that’s not how trauma works. It’s an ongoing process - a battle to fight everyday. We have our good days and our bad, and we do not let it dictate our lives, but it’s a battle nonetheless.

I’ve always taken issue with movies and books romanticizing trauma and a character becoming empowered from it, using it as willpower to take down kingdoms literally and metaphorically. Culture wraps up trauma in a nice pretty bow and sticks it on a shelf and calls it a day when, in reality, that’s not how healing works.

It is a battle. An ongoing battle many of us spend our entire lives fighting.

How fitting that Mikaela’s a soldier…

But I’m not here to rehash this subplot. I’ve said my peace for you all to synthesize on your own because I find writers have many hidden motives we don’t catch while reading, and, as a writer myself, it makes me incredibly sad when a reader misses it because the story is SO much better if you understand them.

That being said, I’m here to reflect. After all, it’s what an “Afterword” is for.

I’ve never written a fanfic before but I am a fantasy writer. I decided to use this piece to explore romance, smut, and to fantasize about Alastor because how can you not? Vivienne inadvertently dropped us a hottie who has taken the fandom by storm!

I started this piece off as an “eventual smut” piece. Trying to practice my writing in a way the great Alastor Fictive writers on here would be proud to read: @minkdelovely , @hazelfoureyes , @hurthermore , @krahk , @fraugwinska , @macabr3-barbi3 (seriously go read their stuff, it’s AMAZING). Yet, around Chapter 14 (I call it the “Golden Chapter” in my head because I consider it to be the climax of not only the fanfic but of my writing as a whole. I’m quite proud of that chapter and honestly spent a long time debating ending the story there, but so many things were still unfinished) I found that I didn’t particularly have a talent for writing smut, nor did I enjoy it in the same way I enjoy writing fantasy.

This entire project was a discovery and a challenge for myself, and I grew A LOT as a writer.

Looking back, if I had to do this again, I would change quite a bit after Chapter 14. Maybe I will in the future, but as of right now, I have school and another manuscript to complete.

That being said, I have fallen in love with Mikaela and plan on using her in the future for my own book. (I will obviously not use any of Vivienne’s stuff because copyright laws exist, but I just love the character’s personality.)

I’m not planning on writing more on Tumblr anytime soon, but the series will stay up for future readers to find and enjoy.

My only goal with this was to reach a few people and have one person - just one - say they liked my writing. :)

Thank you, Hoteliers. Without you, this project wouldn’t have happened.

To power, chaos, and love!

As always, stay smutty <3

kaylopolis

Btw looking for feedback, feel free to send me a message!

-> Link to Masterlist

Tagged Hoteliers:

@sirens-and-moonflowers @wonderlandangelsposts @saccharine-nectarine @goyablogsstuff @mommymilkers0526 @eris-norwega @missgirlsstuff @alastor-the-radio-demons-blog @sillywormtrixareforkids @its-a-dam-blue-brick @cloverresin20 @blue-bird251 @speedycoffeedelight @littlebluefishtail @sawi1987 @mopeyghost @beelz3bub @fraugwinska @minamilinaqueen @demoarah @diffidentphantom @divineknightmare @animecrazy76 @sleepykittycx @graunta @reath-solia @satansdaughter123 @mysticatto @freshonyourpages @chibistar45 @rapunzelbro @stephydearestxo

[umgeorge]

George Russell Says F1 Drivers Are 'A Bit Fed Up' With FIA Leadership

Formula 1 drivers were surprised by the sudden departure of race director Niels Wittich and are "a bit fed up" with the leadership of the governing FIA, Mercedes' George Russell said on Wednesday. The drivers were already at loggerheads with FIA President Mohammed Ben Sulayem on a number of issues, including swearing. The Grand Prix Drivers' Association, of which Russell is a director, issued a remarkable statement earlier this month asking the Emirati to treat them like adults and to mind his own language. Wittich's departure from the key role was announced last week, with both championships still to be won. "We definitely weren't aware. It was a bit of a surprise, I think, for everybody," Russell told reporters at the Las Vegas Grand Prix. "It's a hell of a lot of pressure now onto the new race director. Just three races left [this season] … often as drivers, we probably feel like we're the last to find out this sort of information. And when it involves us kind of directly, it would be nice to be kept in the loop and just have an understanding of what decisions are being made." Russell said the drivers were united and wanted transparency. He said there had been no response from the governing body to the GPDA letter and while some were unhappy with decisions being made by the race director, "sometimes just hiring and firing is not the solution." "Let's see what this new era is going to bring, but every time there is a change, you have to take one step back before you make the two steps forwards," added the Briton. Asked directly how much confidence the drivers had in the FIA leadership, Russell was unsure but said the body -- which has seen several high-profile departures -- was clearly not "the most stable of places." "I think if we feel that we're being listened to and some of the changes that we are experiencing, requesting, are implemented … then maybe our confidence will increase," he continued. "But yeah, I think there's a number of drivers who feel probably a bit fed up with the whole situation. And it only seems to be going in, to a degree, the wrong direction." Russell suggested the FIA or Ben Sulayem had not realised the depth of feeling among the drivers and that while it was not difficult to arrange a meeting getting promises upheld seemed slightly more challenging. "We all know what we want from the sport and the direction it's been heading and we probably feel that we want to do a small U-turn on a number of topics and just want to work together with the FIA on this," he said. "And that's just what we've felt has not been happening at all, at least directly from the President."

[reasonsforhope]

Is it true some parts will be under water in 2025? I'm kinda of worried cause someone told me about it bc it was on the news

Eh, not really. Like, technically, but that's a very dramatic way to put it.

What that person told you about was probably this prediction, which says that some roads on some of the Florida Keys might be underwater by 2025.

Does that suck? Yes. But it's also pretty limited in scope.

(And by the way, that's probably not "underwater all the time." There will probably be a number of years of "the roads will be underwater at high tide specifically." I can't currently find a source on this, but that's how tides work, and the Florida Keys article does specifically mention them as a main problem.)

The areas in danger first are pretty universally small, very low islands. Actually, a dozen or so small islands have already gone underwater in the Pacific Ocean, but very importantly, none of those islands were inhabited.

They were mostly small reef islands (that is, the entire island is exposed coral reef detritus) and other uninhabited shoals. Mostly, they were so small scientists had to check old satellite images to even figure out that they disappeared. Literally, we're talking about chunks of land that are just 100 square meters/300 square feet. Again, not great, but still very limited in scope.

As this Live Science article thankfully explains, it's pretty unlikely that any countries at all will disappear before 2100.

Also, just because land is below sea level doesn't mean it will be underwater, and there are very real steps we can take to defend a lot of endangered cities/islands.

For example:

Much of the Netherlands is already below sea level, but the country isn't disappearing, because the Dutch have put a lot of work into building and maintaining coastal defenses.

Multiple surveys (including the one that found the missing islands in Micronesia) also found that not all low-lying islands are vulnerable to erosion and flooding. This is because many islands are protected by mangrove forests, lagoons, or both

Mangrove reforestation in particular is genuinely a super effective anti-flooding strategy that is being deployed pretty widely, and is expected to increase a lot in the coming years. Mangroves are effective at not only preventing short-term flooding, but also mitigating sea-level increases (in part by preventing erosion)

Some islands, esp Pacific Islands, have actually grown during the past couple decades, not shrunk. It really depends on what the island is made up of. Not all land is automatically doomed

You can read more about how sinking countries are fighting back here, and the lessons we can learn from them:

-via Time, June 13, 2019

And finally, and this is good news for reasons I'll explain in a second:

Some of the largest and wealthiest cities in the world are at the top of the danger list. (Note: the predictions at that link are based on some fairly severe warming predictions. They do NOT necessarily reflect what's going to happen or when.)

The cities that are going to be in danger the soonest (still away btw) include New York, London, San Francisco, Tokyo, and Dubai. Lots of very rich people in those cities! Who would really like to not have to move (any of their ten different homes lol)

So, flooding aside, we're going to (by necessity) get a lot better at figuring out the quickest, cheapest, most scalable, and most effective types of coastal defenses real fast.

Are rich countries going to be way more able to get strong coastal defense systems up quickly? Yes. Does that suck? Sure fucking does!! But these solutions don't all require a lot of money or tech to implement, even at a large scale, especially when it's local communities driving the effort.

And, importantly, when rich countries pour a ton of money into figuring this out, that will hugely expand our understanding of what techniques work best, why, and how best to deploy them in different situations. Unlike physical structures, that's valuable knowledge that can be shared very, very widely.

And any technology that comes out of this is going to work like solar panels and other green energy: as more people use it, it will get cheaper and cheaper. Probably really quickly.

So, all told, no one's going to be swallowed up in the next few years. We have time to work on this and a lot of people are already doing so.

Mostly, experts predict that the first wave of large-scale issues will be happening around 2050.

Three decades doesn't sound like enough time, in the face of something like this. But you know what? Responses to climate change are speeding up exponentially, and different types of responses are multiplying and magnifying each other.

We went from inventing flight to landing on the moon in just 66 years.

I wouldn't count us out of the climate change fight yet.

(...I wouldn't count on retiring to Florida either, though)

[that-ari-blogger]

Would love to hear more about your thoughts on Mermista being your favorite character from She Ra 👀 if you ever felt like sharing

I’m totally not biased at all but I too think she’s the best character

I think this is really interesting, because a character can be someone’s favourite for a ton of reasons. Sometimes it is aesthetics, or mood, or empathy, but I like Mermista because of how she operates as a vessel for storytelling.

And before I start on this tangent, please be aware that this is, by nature, subjective. If you don’t like Mermista, state your case in the replies. Please don’t take my word as gospel.

SPOILERS AHEAD (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

So, I am a fan of wordless storytelling. It’s why I love the traditional mystery films and old western flicks. I like the pacing that comes from characters wandering around and not saying anything, but working things out in a way that the audience can see.

This is partially because writing dialogue is easy, but writing good dialogue is infinitely more difficult than anything, and I am still getting the hang of it, so a lot of what I write is slow and methodical. But I also think that visual storytelling is a lot more interesting and easier for me personally to keep track of.

It's Show Don’t Tell taken to its logical extreme, and while its situational, it really works for me.

Which brings me to Mermista, who I think has less than half the number of the lines as Frosta, despite being on screen for a ton more. That is because no dialogue with Mermista is ever wasted, and instead she takes in situations and thinks.

The only times Mermista ever really speaks are when she needs to communicate information quickly, and when she is annoying one of the other princesses for the fun of it. Even with Shadow Weaver, she finds the quickest possible solution, she interrupts her by calling her a name. She throws her off balance, then gets back to being quiet.

Case and point, at the end of No Princess Left Behind, Mermista doesn’t give a speech, or tell anyone that she is feeling sad. She just turns away from the camera and acts out her emotions subtly.

But the show doesn’t write this as just a strength for Mermista, it’s core to what I keep saying about how the series writes tragedy. Each character’s greatest strength is their greatest weakness. Mermista is detached and methodical, but that’s a façade, and it means she is totally unequipped to handle big emotions. She doesn’t know how to respond to Entrapta’s death, and she is totally unprepared emotionally to cope with the fall of Salineas later on.

In that way she acts as a counter to Perfuma, who is all about those big emotions and big connections. But there are other things that show them as opposites.

For example, Mermista is dynamic as hell. Part of her water theming is that she is able adapt to almost any situation and work through a problem. She can fit any shape, and fill any role in the team. She’s a bruiser, or a scout, or a tank, or a saboteur. But she’s also dynamic ethically.

You may notice that Mermista has the single most flexible moral compas in the team. Not in the sense that she is morally grey, (or morally pink like Glimmer), but in the sense that she applies a different framework to each problem she is faced with. She doesn’t have a thing against deceiving, trickery, or even killing if the situation calls for it, but she never strays into that dubious territory because she knows when to implement it and when that fails, she tries something else. Mermista perseveres and adapts.

Perfuma, however, is the She-Ra equivalent of Batman. I’m not joking about this, and I will talk about it in a later post. In short, however, Perfuma’s greatest strength is her uncompromising moral code. That’s how she gets through to Scorpia at the end. But it also means she is utterly inflexible, hence why she can’t work with cacti or Entrapta.

The reason I bring both of them up together is because their balancing out of each other leads to character development over the course of the story. Perfuma learns to widen her understanding of the world, and that she doesn’t realy have to subvert her morals to do so, and Mermista gains a healthy framework with which she can interact with people and form meaningful relationships.

For example, she can’t really react to Sea Hawk at the start of the series because she doesn’t know how to. She thinks in problems to be solved, but people aren’t that. At the end of the series, they become a couple because of the development seen above.

Essentially, I like Mermista because I like the story that is being told about her, and the way in which it is told. She's also just a big ol' nerd, which is just a joy to watch.

Just stop giving her one liners. I’m talking to the show and a few fanfics I have read. They’re jarring. Please, let my girl brood.

[faithfromanewperspective]

idk I just think that sometimes you need to focus away from the injustices around us. you have to sit and listen to that grief and ask yourself ‘what is it telling me that I feel this way? what is it that I really want? now that I know this, why do I want it? can I envision it? what does what I want really look like?’

often the first step to believing change is possible is simply this: it’s one thing to realise that things are wrong, but it’s another to propose a solution that actually works. none of us can see solutions automatically, it’s a creative skill and you have to cultivate it. you have to cultivate the discipline of being like ‘this thing is wrong for (list of reasons) and it is of priority for me to do something about. so I will start by imagining what it would look like if things weren’t wrong’ then go down your list and be like. does what I’m proposing solve all of these problems or does it just create more? how can I come up with a diverse range of ways to solve as many of these problems as possible? because the more things you come up with, the greater chance just one of them will be partially or fully able to be implemented

we desperately need more people to be doing this instead of only yelling on the internet. because we want to fill up the internet with solutions that don’t take a gazillion years to find because everyone buried them under (rightful) complaining. everyone deserves some hope in their lives and really badly needs it!! and we can have a lot more hope when we’re like. okay. this solution did not work but we can problem solve around it and maybe if the next one includes meeting the needs of more people. it’s more likely to happen.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello mbti-notes. Sometimes I (INFJ) come across people, both kids and grown-ups, who insult my appearance and try to humiliate me in front of other people, and I don't know how to handle the situation besides keeping a stone face and keeping it together until it ends and I find an isolated place to let the tears fall out.

I'm still greatly affected by this despite being already past my teenage years. As I said, I don't know how to effectively react. One of the ways frequently suggested is to pretend it doesn't affect me, but it does affect me so I would just be lying to them and myself and in turn feel even worse for not expressing my real emotions, but at the same time these type of people are shallow, and it would be pointless and counterproductive for me to express my real feelings without them dismissing me or taking advantage of my weak spots again.

When I don't react properly and don't say anything to stand up for myself, I start to feel even worse about myself for allowing them to disrespect me, but I am also at loss on how I should deal or react in this type of situation. I don't know how to properly deal with people like this, what to say to them, how to stand up for myself and not allow myself to be humiliated in front of everyone.

When it comes to any other topic, I know how to call people out, but when it comes to my appearance I just freeze, my mind goes blank and I don't know what to say, especially when I am dealing with middle school kids. As I said, if I play it cool, I feel even worse because they just reopened a scar inside me and I don't know how to stop the bleeding.

I tried to address my core thoughts and beliefs on beauty and disprove them, and while I dismantled my automatic toxic beliefs, it still doesn't fundamentally work, the pain I carry inside still doesn't go away, it still doesn't heal and I still feel offended and degraded, so I'm at loss on what to do now.

Getting support from my family is not an option. Getting support from my friends didn't work. I was bullied for my appearance in middle school, and after that I refused to even think or confront the issue, I currently want to confront it and heal from it but I don't know how or what exactly am I supposed to do to heal the hurt and stop getting hurt over the same thing over and over again. It's not feasible for me to have a mental breakdown every time this happens.

Right now my ultimate goal is to obtain a high self-esteem, so I need to find a way to deal with this issue. I want to stop getting hurt when people insult my looks, learn how to effectively respond when it happens, make it clear that I will not take disrespect and learn how to make people back down and respect me.

-----------------------

I'm sorry to hear that you've had to experience such terrible bullying. Disproving core thoughts and beliefs is very important but isn't likely to be enough in your case for two reasons:

Like it or not, feelings matter a lot to you as a Feeler, so until the negative feelings get sorted, the problem will persist. And only dealing with the thinking side but not the feeling side runs the risk of triggering self-sabotaging Ni-Ti loop patterns. You've basically only implemented half the solution, so the results will suffer accordingly. (Although, I do doubt how successful you were with the core thoughts and beliefs as well, which I will address later.)

Bullying is a recognized form of trauma. When you're living with significant past trauma that hasn't been properly addressed and resolved, then the problem goes far deeper than core thoughts and beliefs. You haven't gotten to the heart of the matter yet.

Bringing up your teen years is important because those are formative experiences, and negative formative experiences often lie at the root of adult self-esteem issues. Adolescence is a critical time for learning good social skills. Because teenagers are only in the early stages of learning, the way they think about socializing tends to be overly simplistic.

For example, to the average teenager, successful socializing is defined simply as "fitting in", and they jump to the conclusion that the easiest way is to be like everyone else or get approval from those with status and power. This is why social contagion (the spread of attitudes, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors through the members of a group) tends to be much worse among teenagers. When they see someone else get social validation, they rush to do the same thing in order to obtain the same reward.

However, the fact of the matter is that each one of us is an individual, and there is a limit as to how far an individual can conform. If a teenager is unlucky and simply does not share many things in common with their immediate peers, they won't be able to "be like everyone else" no matter how hard they try. Worse, their attempts to fit in or obtain approval can be transparent and make them come off as pathetic and unlikable.

Not being able to find acceptance in adolescence means the goal of that stage of development remains unfulfilled, which can have a negative effect on ego development. Basically, it can keep a person stuck in the adolescent mindset into adulthood. The more they were denied social acceptance, the more desperately they may crave validation. This is one reason why some people crazily chase affirmation, attention, affection, praise, or social status, as though trying to fill a bottomless void. Or, if they believe it impossible to obtain acceptance for whatever reason, they might develop antisocial tendencies and live in deep denial of their social needs.

Conformity is an unsophisticated socializing strategy. It's the strategy people use when they live under a dictatorship because they don't want to stand out and get their head chopped off. Now, some might say that middle and high school life is very similar to living under a dictatorship, which is fair. Teenagers can be quite harsh in ridiculing and bullying each other into conformity. However, you're not a teenager anymore. As an adult, you have more intellectual capacity for nuanced thought, you have more freedom to get away from toxic people, and you have more resources at your disposal for learning healthier methods of socializing.

Conformity is ultimately a shortsighted strategy that produces negative long term consequences. Any time you desire or attempt to be like someone else, you are denying your individuality, which means you are actively stopping the individuation process. Individuation is a core concept in analytical psychology and considered the main goal of every human being. It is the process through which you bring together all the fragmented parts of yourself to become a whole person. Going against the main goal of life prevents you from living a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Individuation requires you to become more aware of how you define your identity. If you hope to become an adult in mind, not only in body, then at some point you have to be willing to expand your sense of self beyond the narrow confines of your early socialization. Whatever it was your parents/caregivers hoped you could be, whatever it was your peers pressured you into being, whatever it was society convinced you was desirable... these concepts are very limiting, and they do not come close to encompassing the entirety of who you are. Unfortunately, many people never realize this.

The fact that these insults keep shaking you so badly suggests that you are still confined by the images, standards, and expectations of your early socialization. Unconsciously, you still buy into them, you still hope to "fit in" with them, and you still wish to reap the social rewards of living up to them, even when, consciously, you claim otherwise. As a result, you are instantly transported back to adolescence every time you are insulted. In psychology, this is called regression. It's like you are that same person, experiencing the same hurtful rejection. That teenager is still alive and well in you, and you haven't learned what to do with them yet, which is why you have no response available.

Generally speaking, criticism hurts the most when a part of you, deep down, believes it is true or fears that it could be true. That teenager inside you still believes what they were told, so the criticism activates a deep sense of shame or self-loathing. To what extent do you believe it's true that you are indeed physically "ugly"? Are you ashamed of how you look? On what basis do you make judgments about physical attractiveness? Are you using standards of your own making (as a true individual), or are you using standards that were imposed upon you (by your tormentors)? If you have truly "disproved your core thoughts and beliefs" on the matter, then you wouldn't be using any of the standards of the shallow people who insult you. Can you honestly say that is the case?

In psychoanalytic theory, one reason people keep re-experiencing and perhaps even re-inviting similar traumatic experiences over and over throughout life is because they are unconsciously seeking resolution, to obtain closure or to get compensation for what was damaged or lost in the past. Your teenage hurt is still screaming for redress. What got damaged and lost in those experiences? Your self-worth. You say your ultimate goal should be to have high self-esteem, which isn't wrong. But it isn't the root of the problem. To be more precise, it is your self-worth that is being attacked, and then your immature reaction leads you to think poorly of yourself and have low self-esteem.

Self-worth is defined as the degree to which you believe yourself "good enough" and deserving of love. You were basically told, again and again, that you are not worthy of love because of being "ugly", until you believed it. As long as you continue to believe it, the insults will cut you deeply. If your self-worth was damaged or lost during those early experiences and that pain keeps recurring, what needs to change? You need to recover your self-worth. You need to build a self-worth strong enough to withstand the world.

Since self-worth gets tied to social acceptance in adolescence, many people mistakenly believe that self-worth comes from the outside, from the judgments of others. That's not the case. Self-worth is firstly about how YOU judge yourself. Secondly, it is about how to put the judgments of others in the right perspective.

To the first point, reflect on what makes a person worthy of love. Until you can arrive at the right answer for yourself as a true individual, you have no real choice but to default to the ideas you've internalized from others earlier in life. Disproving toxic ideas isn't enough as long as you don't replace them with the right ideas, ideas that you can proudly stand up for.

Healthy self-worth involves:

having a truthful understanding of yourself

being accepting of and compassionate toward the humanity of yourself and others

making good use of your gifts, talents, and abilities

doing things in the world that matter or make a positive difference

When you build self-worth properly, from the inside out, and you fully understand your own worth, who can take that away from you? How could you not feel good about yourself? How could you not feel deserving of love?

At that point, you would understand that the best response to outer negativity is expressing your inner positivity:

With a truthful understanding of yourself, you would be the first to acknowledge your flaws and weakness.

With genuine acceptance and compassion, you could show yourself empathy when others don't, and you could have empathy for whatever was damaging them enough to lash out at you.

By realizing more of your potential, you'll see much more of your positive qualities and your innate power.

By being a good contributor in social situations, you'd be the one to influence others rather than the other way around.

This is what it means to "rise above". People with healthy self-worth don't take things too seriously because they don't perceive every negative thing as a personal attack. They tend to have a good sense of humor, even about themselves. And this easygoing manner can be contagious and encourage others to ease up as well. Imagine what could happen if you were able to meet hostility with such inner strength? Imagine what might happen if you were able to respond to your hurt teenage self with such maturity?

To the second point, reflect on what really motivates people. Fe overindulgence is a pitfall of INFJ development. One common symptom is lack of healthy boundaries. There are two aspects to consider:

- Unexamined desire for affirmation: When you indiscriminately seek "union" with every person you encounter due to Fe overindulgence, what happens? You expect everyone to care for you, you feel pressured to conform to everyone's ideas about you, and you make yourself open to everyone's influence, positive and negative. Is it a good idea to walk around with the underlying expectation that everyone should be good and kind to you? It's not a crime to want love, but you're setting yourself up for disappointment and heartache by seeking love from the wrong people. The smarter way to use Fe is to actively surround yourself with loving people and only pay attention to them, rather than just hoping for the best or waiting around passively for love to appear.

- Unable to separate self from others: What other people think, feel, say, and do is their business; it may or may not have anything to do with you. Until you can learn to "mind your own business", you'll keep getting tangled up in other people's drama. What kind of person goes around insulting others without provocation? A hurt person. An insecure person. A narcissistic person trying to make you bend to their idea of what you should be. These psychological issues are none of your business, so you are under no obligation to attend to them. Don't take on other people's problems as your own. Once you understand that no one is entitled to an answer, agreement, affirmation, or attention from you, you'll no longer take their bait. Having good boundaries means you are assertive in preserving your well-being and honoring your needs. Perhaps you should look into assertiveness training. It is sometimes included in therapy for people who have difficulty setting boundaries.

To recover self-worth isn't easy but it's doable as long as you're willing to put in the self-work. What I've written above should be enough to get you started on the journey. To the final point, you ask me what the best response is in these situations. It depends. Every social situation is unique, so it's important to consider the context. Before I can answer, you'll have to answer this first: Why do you need to respond at all? If what you're really wanting to do is prove that you're "good enough", then you're falling into a trap of depending on others to define your self-worth.

[pomplalamoose]

Hey bae 🙏 do you think we could get something about turning sith!luke to the light side?💗

Hiii dear anon, thank you for your ask🩵

It's been a while since I received one and I'm sooo excited, especially since I get to talk about Sith!Luke, my beloved

I wasn't sure what exactly you wanted but I hope you like this discussion of possible scenarios anyways <33

• when it comes to turning Sith Luke back to the light, I think it really depends how and why he choose the dark side in the first place and what interpretation of him we're talking about

• if, for example, he turned during the original trilogy, you'd have to approach him differently than it would be the case if he grew up raised by Vader

• while his struggle to remain on the right path for himself and the galaxy is often highlighted in the movies and books, trilogy Luke never strays too far away from what Obi-Wan and Yoda taught him

• he certainly has his darker moments in which he considers everything he loves lost, but ultimately, even then, he'd rather sacrifice himself for the greater good than reach for the power Vader, and later the Emperor, offer him

• "Never. I'll never turn to the dark side"

• "Soon I'll be dead and you with me"

• so should he fall or, for whatever reason, deliberately make the decision to join the dark side, I see two possible ways in which this could turn out, his stubbornness and wish for justice and equity being one of the more important factors

• 1) he's convinced it's for the best and in favor of many

• it's hard to resist a seemingly easy solution in times of crisis, especially if it's offered in a tempting way and Luke is by no means unreceptive to manipulation

• however I do believe he'd realize his misconception rather quickly and so the most prominent thing keeping him from pursuing the light again wouldn't be his ignorance but his deep shame

• because of the weight he carries he's very hard on himself and no less so as a Sith

• consumed by the dark side he'd probably be less focused on improvement but on self doubt and hatred instead

• he may even go as far as to remain in this situation willingly as a way to punish himself

• not only would he think himself deserving of being miserable but also think it's for the better if he never comes near his loved ones again, afraid to hurt them

• here his stubbornness hurts him decidedly more than others because obviously there's still good inside of him, he just isn't allowing it to be there in favor of another misconception and self doubt

• ("I don't deserve to be around my family after what I did.", "Because what if I'm truly evil and don't know it?", "What if they fall victim to one of my mistakes and get hurt?")

• in this case it'd definitely be possible to make him see reason

• Luke is able to and eager to learn from the past, as well as adapt to a new point of view

• if he can believe it's for the best to join the dark side, he can believe the opposite once more

• it may need patience and coaxing, much affection, assurance and insistence but through your love (romantically as well as platonically) he'd be able to find himself again

• 2) his opinion of the galaxies political situation changes to such an extent that he's convinced his fall to the dark side is genuinely important in order to implement a just system

• I will be honest, I have no idea how that would even happen but let's stick with the idea anyways because we're taking about Sith!Luke here

• (maybe he was brainwashed???)

• in this scenario I imagine it to be rather difficult to make him reconsider

• not only is he now convinced of what he's doing is inherently good but also of the fact that the people not sharing his opinion have some devious plans to make those he's so set to protect suffer

• Luke firmly stands by what he believes in and while that is a wonderful attribute to have it's rather problematic when it's used for harm

• that man is ready to fight for his convictions and I see him defending them in a way similar to how he resisted the dark side in RotJ

• he's still Luke though and not stupid, I belive it still possible to reason with him especially if you're someone he admires or otherwise holds dear

• in order to get him to listen to you though you'll need time and patience to get under his skin

• now let's take a quick look at the interpretatiom of the Sith!Luke I write about

• to some extent he's still the same person as trilogy Luke but while they share certain traits, they turned out like opposites due to the circumstances they were exposed to during their lifes

• basically my Sith!Luke is a "What if Luke and Leia were raised with the dark side by Darth Vader"-version in which he grows up in a galaxy after the Empire defeated the Alliance and thus doesn't know anything about Jedi since they just,,,don't exist anymore

•(granted, this is a rather dark AU but I saw no other way in which Luke would act like he does in my fics, without any hope of him changing his ways)

• (there are of course works that discuss a different outcome, exploring Luke turning to the light side despite being raised as Sith, so it is of course a possibility if that's what he's set up to do)

• (I, however, like to center my Sith!Luke around the idea of just that being unthinkable since it's so far fetched and ooc for a person so full of light and good)

• (please keep that in mind when continuing to read, xx)

• this too is the only case in which I think it wouldn't be possible to turn him to the light side because the concept in itself is a foreign and outdated one

• it does exist, yes, and Luke is aware of it too, after all he's well studied and educated, has to be if he is to be the successor of his father

• but it is nothing that seems worth looking into further since the classical "fight" between good and bad is a thing of the past

• because while Luke may not agree with every political stance his family takes he knows he'll be the Emperor sooner than later, able to make changes as he likes

• in this regard, depending on the role you take on in his life, you might be able to slightly influence his decisions and/or his treatment of a certain group of people

• if you're important enough to him he'll listen to what you have to say, though he won't necessarily implement it into the system

• you are well advised to approach such attempts carefully though since you don't want him to suspect you of disregarding his status and position

• or, even worse, want to alienate him from his family and loved ones

• because no matter the universe, Luke would move worlds for those he cares for and accordingly (mainly Sith!Luke) grows easily suspicious when someone so much as questions their behavior, motives, etc. or insinuates to be against them

[studentbyday]

oops! i did it again. lessons from this school year...

Hey, you remember that post I made about my winter term priorities? HAHAHAHAHahaha ha ha. That plan totally went to shit, but it's all part of the journey, right? 😅 (Tbh, it's quite difficult to make a conscious effort to change yourself when the default response to being and feeling busy is to go on autopilot -> all the unconscious habits, even if unhealthy, take control, and bc it's unconscious, you don't realize it until it gets quite bad! anyway! no more! my future plans make it so this will be impossible to do while still retaining some sense of sanity. so to prep, we're gonna slowly implement little changes so hopefully it's not so overwhelming that i give up)

🧘🏻‍♀️ comparing mindsets in fall and winter term

Fall term was not that bad bc I had 2 STEM subjects I really really loved and was interested in (biochem and mol bio 💕), and despite their difficulty, that love and interest and the feeling that "I am in the right field for me" kept me positive. There were times I thought I would feel burnout symptoms if I wasn't careful, but I really think that positivity protected me from the worst of it.

Winter term, however...I had one favorite subject: moral philosophy, which led to me wistfully dreaming about an AU in which I double majored in philosophy and piano performance, lol. After the highs of biochem and mol bio and the natural ease with which the bits of info flowed together in those subjects, I did not enjoy pharmacology or the 2nd half of psyc as much -> loss of interest -> negativity and feeling like I'm in the wrong field bc how dare I not like pharmacology (or psychology) as much as the other life science-y subjects when it's really so important for us to survive and thrive! 😅 I mean, there were times I could get that spark from pharmacology or psyc, but it wasn't often enough or intense enough to keep me consistently inspired throughout the semester. The feeling of "maybe I don't have what it takes and I'm in the wrong field" was compounded by the re-realization that there's sm to know of bioinformatics and I struggle to know any of it! Persevering is important, but it's harder to persevere with a negative mindset.

😤 what went wrong this school year and what i learned from it

I still struggle with perfectionism (and bc of it, procrastination). While it might not be as bad as it was in high school, I still spent too long on assignments that weren't worth much and during finals season, was so scared of getting less than 90% just to keep up my A+ streak. Like, I'm pretty sure no one who cares to know your GPA cares about whether you have an A+ streak or not. I have too high a threshold for what is a "disappointing" grade. I also struggle with deep regret about how I haven't mastered everything they throw at us in each course... definitely an unrealistic expectation, especially as the proportion of new info to absorb increases with each course. I did what I could using what I knew to do, so it is what it is. I may find ways to make improvements and learn more, but I won't beat myself up for not having known to do those things in the past.

Did not use effective study methods. Since first year, my problem has been keeping up with the readings and my solution has been to just use typed outline notes. It worked for the first few years when it was mostly review from previous courses with a few new concepts in between. But as I progress through my degree, the proportion of completely new info is increasing. This notetaking method won't work anymore bc it just causes cognitive overload, especially during exam season (when I've mostly forgotten the details of everything that isn't smth I've already known for years). E.g. for pharmacology, I got so bogged down by the details of all the drug classes that I didn't see the big picture and so didn't organize the info according to it. This made it hard to see patterns and better chunk the info. I was so stressed during finals season bc of this (and the sheer amount of notes that I had to read for psyc 😭). What makes it feel like even more of a problem is that the cognitive overload problem from my notetaking method has been a thing for all other uni courses thus far, it's just that pharmacology was the first time I needed to create a stronger connecting thread between the otherwise disparate pieces of info (drug classes). In all other courses, that thread was part of the nature of the topic being studied so I eventually understood it as I kept going and mentally re-organized it in my brain...but even then it was hodge-podge and so my depth of mastery was and is so flimsy, and every semester I leave feeling drained and like I wasted the opportunity to maximize my learning. (How dramatic I get about this is also probably tied to my perfectionism, but I still think it would greatly benefit future me to change my notetaking style.)

🎓 advice for future me

Look at the academic calendar, specifically the faculty course descriptions. Look at how many hours they say you should expect to spend on each activity in the course. Try to use those learning hours as a guide for your schedule so that you don't spend too long on an item that isn't worth much. If there isn't such a breakdown, assume one based on whatever they give you or other courses and adjust from there.

Be a more efficient reader by skimming the text first so you can map the flow of info in a way that best creates ease of understanding/synthesis/memory (e.g. via an outline, tree diagram, flowchart, mind map, or simple drawings - and noticing when a list/outline will NOT be helpful bc it'll just be too overwhelming and not easy to compare/contrast info and see patterns). I knowww you've survived thus far without doing it this way and done well, BUT with this many courses, the increasing complexity of each subject, and the overload of info in each, you WILL need to do this to make quicker work of the readings, save you sooo much stress during exam seasons, and improve how much you learn while in school which is the real goal you've wanted to achieve all this time. Don't repeat the mistake you made in pharmacology. And it really doesn't have to be aesthetic and you definitely should NOT get caught up with it if you really wanna learn. You could just use one color for everything and a highlighter and just basic shapes/lines - that alone can be way more effective than boring paragraphs/lists or a colorful, overly complex diagram that'll just distract you from the main point.

Create a realistic daily routine (wake-up and sleep times, start and end times for schoolwork) and be strict about following it. Set your non-negotiables for personal goals to keep up with alongside your schoolwork bc academics aren't everything. Remember how you regretted not devoting more time to extra-curriculars and other skills in high school which would've rounded you out as a person. You can try theming the parts of the day so that you don't have to think about what task you should do first after study breaks and keep up the momentum (e.g. mornings for readings and notes, afternoons for active recall/homework). Then you can live the rest of the day after school as structured or unstructured as you wish. If this strategy doesn't work for you, you don't have to use it.

Take advantage of interleaving so you don't get bored. Whether by following the theming strategy or just switching subjects every hour, idc if you aren't done yet, you better switch bc the second consecutive hour of the same thing is never as effective as the first.