#and then they made so many spin off books and worlds that intertwined but never invited me to join and im still mad about it to this day

[pilotstreets]

genuinely wish i could write like i did when i was 13 and just had fun making stories and characters that were like, objectively awful but undeniably creative and fun to write, instead of now finding it impossible to enjoy writing because nothing i make can live up to the standards i set and i feel so untalented at the craft :/

[shycoconutt]

I Need You (Kakashi x Reader Smut)

A/n: Oh boy do I got some smutty smut for you. This is my first time writing smut and I think I did okay! Please let me know what you think and, as always, feel free to send some requests my way! 🤍

Summary: You find yourself unbelievably horny waiting for Kakashi to get home from work. The night goes exactly as planned.

Word Count: 4200

Warnings: NSFW ( minors, there's the door -> 🚪), fem!reader, vaginal sex, rough sex, doggy style, cunnilingus

Gods, why am I so horny?

Sat in the reading chair in the corner of your and Kakashi’s bedroom, you find yourself unable to focus on the new novel you picked up at the bookstore this morning. Each time you try to focus on the words in front of you, your eyes start to drift off the page and fall on your bed across the room. The bed where Kakashi and you have had sex now maybe a dozen times. You two have been platonic partners for years, but it wasn’t until recently where you both allowed your feelings to blossom into romance. Some would say that your relationship with Kakashi came on fast, but those who say that don’t truly know either of you.

After the war, and after keeping your feelings for each other bottled down for years, Kakashi took you on a vacation to a quaint village on the outskirts of Konoha. During your stay, you two could finally relax and find comfort in each other. The future seemed less uncertain, and you allowed yourself to open up in ways you never had before. You both knew you loved each other, that you were meant for each other, but the stress of war and the lack of knowledge that either of you would come out alive prevented anything from happening. The last thing either of you wanted to do was take the other’s heart six feet under.

It was the third night on the trip when he proposed to you. Kakashi and you were naked together in the natural hot spring, embracing each other in the water. The words he spoke to you that night are etched in your brain, never to be forgotten.

“My whole life I’ve been fighting; fighting for Konoha, fighting for my team, fighting for our friends, fighting my demons, fighting the truth, and fighting the feelings I have for you. I never understood why it was so hard to escape you, but it isn’t until now where I finally understand. Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever had to do. Our love is so natural, so pure. It pains me to know that our reality has muddled it for so long. You are the best thing that’s ever come into my life, and the gods only know how thankful I am that you have been by my side through it all. Everything I’ve ever gone through, every challenge I’ve had to overcome, you’ve guided me along the way. I used to think I was undeserving of your love, but now that we both are standing here, bruised and battered by our past, I realize that it was always supposed to be this way. You and me. Forever.”

That was the night you and Kakashi shared your first kiss. The night you first held each other in a naked embrace. The night you touched the skin normally concealed under each other's clothes. The night you trailed kisses down his chest, to his stomach, his hip, and up his shaft. The night you grabbed him in your hand and stroked him while looking into his eyes. The night you felt his tongue draw across your nipples. The night you felt him suck and nibble at your neck. The night you felt his fingers, god his fingers, trace up your wet heat to rub onto your most sensitive spot. The night he held onto your hip and slid into your tenderness. The night you whispered sweet nothings in each other's ears while he pumped into you. The night you made love, four times.

It’s been a week since your mini-vacation of ultimate bliss. Immediately after arriving back to the village, you both moved out of your individual apartments and moved into the Hatake estate, per Kakashi’s request. When you asked him if this is truly what he wanted, he assured you that this was the place he wanted to make a home with you and your future children. He also liked that the estate is largely removed from the Hokage tower, where he will be spending the majority of his time in the future. Renovations are far from over, but your bedroom was the first area of the house to be set up. It’s your shared sanctuary, and to be completely honest, you’ve never felt more at home.

The only word to describe this week between you and Kakashi is passionate. Even with opposite schedules, you both make time for one another every day. You’ve been insanely busy at your new job that you acquired post-war, spearheading the mental health resource center for war veterans and shinobi still in active duty. Kakashi is busy shadowing Tsunade while she sorts out post-war rehabilitation plans for the village. This is your first day off and, unfortunately, Kakashi is out doing future Hokage duties. Though frustrating, both of you are super understanding of each other's roles in this village and you respect that time with each other may be limited in the coming years. That’s why any chance you get, you both check in on each other throughout your day. Whether it’s offering to take his ninken on a walk while he’s in the office, or him bringing you breakfast when you get to work, you find opportunities to be present in each other’s daily lives.

The evenings, however, are a whole other story. Both of you are usually home a little after eight, and you’ve adapted to having late dinners with each other. After cleaning up, the rest of the evening is spent wrapped up in each other. One thing you weren’t expecting about being with Kakashi is that he is constantly touching you when you are alone together. His hands are either on your thighs, wrapped in your hair, caressing your face, squeezing your arms, massaging your shoulders, touching your lips, or any other way he can get them on you. You crave his touch, so to say that you enjoy this side of him is an understatement. Not only does Kakashi adore touching you, he also adores being touched.

Touching leads to caressing, caressing leads to groping, and groping leads to passionate lovemaking.

Well, geez (y/n), maybe if you stopped daydreaming about Kakashi’s hands all over you then you wouldn’t be this goddamn horny.

Here’s the thing with you and Kakashi’s newfound sex life. You are in the early stages. All the sex you have is all about romance, making up for the lost time, and finally expressing your feelings with your body. It’s amazing and you wouldn’t change your lovemaking for the world.

But right now, you don’t desire lovemaking. You desire rough, animalistic, dirty, dirty sex.

The kind of sex that makes you shudder in desire and fear.

The kind of sex that makes in between your legs sore the next day.

Realizing you’ve been daydreaming for the past fifteen minutes, you close your novel shut and toss it aside. You look over at the clock on your nightstand to find that it’s almost time for Kakashi to be home. Usually, you would already be cooking something up for dinner, but you have a feeling that any food you make would just get cold. Eating is not your priority right now, Kakashi is.

A devious smile forms at your lips when you consider what you plan on doing with him when he walks through the front door. Should you take him right there? Get down on your knees and beg for him? Run a warm, candle-lit bath? Put whip cream on your tits and tell him that you’re his dinner? All great options, but none are really representative of how much you need him.

In one swift movement, you are up off your chair and running towards your closet. He could be here any minute and there’s no time to waste. Once there, you take in how disorganized your closet is. You have yet to unpack any of your clothes, as all you’ve worn the past week is your jonin uniform and your pajamas. Rummaging through the boxes sprawled out on the floor, you finally find which box you are looking for. The box looks like any other box, but written on the side in marker is the word intimates.

Bingo.

One might think you are a sex fiend with all the lingerie you own, but that is far from reality. The truth is, lingerie has always made you feel sexy. Most of all, it’s just so pretty. You love the power it gives you. You love the fact that no one knows that some days you are wearing the world’s skimpiest lingerie underneath your uniform. It’s like you have an edge on someone that they don't even realize. Also, when you did happen to end up in bed with a man, you were over-prepared. The look on their faces when you stripped off your clothes was priceless. It was your way of telling them that you expected them to want you.

There are way too many options to choose from, and you find yourself starting to panic as time passes on. You know you’re overthinking this as, honestly, Kakashi would love anything you put on. Some things you know about Kakashi are that his favorite color is blue, he loves your thighs and is obsessed with how soft your skin is. Therefore, you should obviously go for the baby blue lace and silk set. It includes a lace balconette bra, a thong connected to thigh garters, and a silk robe to go over the top. After putting it on and taking a look at yourself in the mirror, you knew you made the right choice.

Before finding a comfortable spot on the bed, you quickly grab some baby oil and rub it all over your body. The oil will allow Kakashi to slide his hands all over you effortlessly, which is exactly what you need. Satisfied, you grab your book and lay on top of your made bed. You weren’t planning on actually reading, but you think your casualness while wearing such a sexy outfit will have Kakashi’s head spinning.

So there you were, belly down, ass out, feet intertwined, book in hand, when you heard the lock click and the front door open. Perfect timing.

You could hear Kakashi kick off his shoes and take off his vest as he walked into your home. Usually, you would be standing in the kitchen where he would come and give you a warm embrace and kiss you until you told him that he has to eat dinner. But, you're not there, and you can sense his confusion.

“Where’s my babygirl?” Kakashi’s voice projects throughout the house, a hint of concern in his voice. You smile at the thought of the pout that’s probably on his face right now.

“Sorry sweetheart, I’ve been caught up in my new book. I’m in the bedroom,” you call back to him.

You hear what sounds like a sigh of relief as his footsteps make their way down your hallway in the direction of your bedroom, the sounds of pieces of his uniform dropping off of him every few steps. You make sure to keep your head turned to the door so you can take in his reaction to your state.

“Oh, the new book you got this morning? How is it? Let me guess, you already finished-”

An indescribable feeling shoots through your whole body as Kakashi enters your bedroom. He just finished pulling his mask down his face, as his hand is still caught to the fabric pooling around his neck. With a smile on your face, you soak in his expression as he’s stood in the entrance of your room, a deep blush forming on his cheeks and his mouth still agape in mid-sentence. His eyes dart back and forth from your face to the bottom of your ass that’s hanging out of your silk robe.

Damn, you really did that (y/n).

“What’s wrong, Kashi?” You say in the most innocent voice you can muster. You bat your eyelashes and flip over to sit up so he can get a good look at you. You let your book drop off the bed and land on the floor.

There’s another pause before Kakashi slowly walks towards you on the bed. Without speaking, he reaches a hand out to you. You take it and he pulls you up so you're kneeling on the bed as he stands in front of you. His dark eyes bore into yours as both of his hands drop to your thighs. Slowly, he grazes them up over your hips, your waist, up the sides of your breasts, to wrap around the back of your neck. You can feel the hairs on your skin stand in anticipation. With his hands still wrapped around you, he brings his head down to you and grazes his mouth on your jawline. From there he plants small kisses up the side of your face until he reaches your ear where he nibbles before speaking to you in a strained, low tone.

“You’re a very dangerous woman, (y/n).”

He must have felt you shudder because you could feel him smile against your cheek. Standing up straight again, Kakashi’s hands drop to the tie of your robe around your waist.

“May I?” he asks, giving you the sexiest look you’ve ever seen. Kakashi has been so effortlessly attractive since you met when you were young. Having these intimate moments with him almost seems surreal.

“Of course, Hatake,” you smile up at him.

Taking the tie in his hands, he starts to unravel the knot keeping your robe together. Once loose, he lets it fall over your shoulders and off your body completely.

After a few moments taking in the sight of you, Kakashi lets out a deep sigh and shakes his head.

“You’re so out of my league,” he confesses to you.

You let out a small giggle.

“Absolutely not,” you protest.

Without missing a beat, Kakashi grabs on to you and tosses you back on the bed so you are laying down underneath him. One of his hands wraps around the back of your head while the other cups your breast. Pulling the fabric of your bra down, he kneads your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. One of his knees lands in between your legs and he brings it up to press on to you. You can’t help the moan that escapes as you feel him all around you.

“So what’s the deal?” Kakashi teases. “I leave you alone in the house for one day and I come back to this?” He looks down at your body and back up again. “Where did you get this outfit, hm?”

“Oh baby,” you start teasing him back, “I guess one thing you don’t know about me yet is that I wear lingerie like this all the time.”

“Oh really?” he questions.

“Yep, all the time.” You smirk at what you’re about to say next. “Actually, remember that one time we were stationed together in the Earth country for a month for that S-rank assassination mission?”

Kakashi nods, confused where you’re going with this story.

“We let our guards down and almost hooked up the last night before we came back to the village.”

“I remember.”

“Well,” you pause for effect, “guess what I was wearing underneath my uniform that night?”

Kakashi remains silent, brows furrowed waiting for you. You smile at him deviously as you say your answer.

“This.”

Kakashi lets out what can only be described as an aroused, defeated groan when you utter your confession. He quickly comes back down and your mouths crash together in a heated frenzy. It isn’t until now when you realize that his bulge is hard against your leg, asking to be broken free from the confinement of his pants. While making out, you reach down and slip your hand under his waistband and grab onto his throbbing cock, stroking it in your hand. Although rock hard, the skin of his cock is soft and velvety.

Kakashi moans in your mouth when you make contact with him, but quickly escapes your grasp and gets up off of you. Sprawled out on the bed, you watch him strip down naked in front of you, starting with his shirt, then his pants and briefs. His body is truly something to marvel at, as decades of being a ninja have carved his body into perfection. You love the way his member slaps against his lower stomach when he pulls it from its confinement, excited and eager for you. He stands for a moment, contemplating what to do with you.

“I don’t want to take that pretty outfit off of you just yet. I guess I’ll just have to work around it for now,” Kakashi says as he stands at the end of the bed. Grabbing your ankles, he pulls you towards him and bends your legs upward until your knees meet your chest. Holding both of your legs up with one hand, he takes the other and spanks your ass cheek with a loud slap. You whimper from the sting while he rubs the mark he left. Kakashi sucks in another loud breath.

“Ugh, (y/n), you look so good for me.”

Before you can respond, Kakashi takes your thong and slides it over so you are exposed to him. Getting down on his knees, he brings his face to your glistening cunt and flattens his tongue against it. There he gives you one long lick up your slit to taste you. A moan erupts from him as your wetness meets his taste buds.

“You’re already so wet for me baby,” Kakashi breathes before going in to suck on you.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” you confess through your moans. “I only get this wet for you.”

“That’s because you're mine and mine only.”

Kakashi takes his time with you, almost as if this is his last meal on earth and he wants to savor it. He’s delicate in some moments and fierce in others. Incorporating his fingers, he slides them into you and curves them up to hit your g-spot repeatedly while eating you. Your hand instinctively cradles his face while the other intertwines with his silver locks. You start to feel tightness in your lower stomach as he brings you close to climax. The sound of his moans muffled inside you is enough to send you over the edge.

“Kakashi, baby, I’m gonna-”

“Come for me, baby,” Kakashi nods, giving you permission to let go.

Letting go of Kakashi, you grip onto the sheets around you, feeling the tightness build and drop out of you. Closing your eyes, the waves of ecstasy ripple throughout your body causing you to scream out in pleasure. Riding with you, Kakashi slowly continues to work you through your climax, cleaning up whatever juices spill over.

“Good girl,” He says to you while bringing your legs back down onto the bed. Slowly, he kisses up your thighs while hooking onto your thong, bringing it down off of them. While he does this, you reach around and unclasp your bra, throwing it aside. Once the thong is thrown aside as well, Kakashi lifts himself off the floor and flips you over so you're laying on your stomach, another smack landing on your ass cheek. The high from your orgasm is immediately replaced with anticipation for what he plans on doing to you next.

You feel Kakashi’s naked body slide on top of you until he's flush against your skin, his body completely enveloping yours. Once his face is level with yours, and his cock is hard against your backside, he brushes your hair away from your face.

“Are you ready for me?” Kakashi whispers into your ear.

You nod into the mattress, chest rising and falling with every strained breath.

“You need to use your words, (y/n),” Kakashi scolds you while tucking your hair behind your ear.

“I need you, Kakashi. Please, I need you.” Your words come out as a plea, not being able to take his absence any longer.

You feel Kakashi’s weight lift off of you as he reaches around your waist and lifts it up so your ass is tilted upwards. From there you can feel him position his tip at your entrance, slowly rubbing it up and down to spread your wetness.

“Please, Kashi, I need your cock inside me,” you beg.

Without further hesitation, you feel every inch of him slide into your folds until he’s bottomed out inside you. The feeling of him deep within you sends you into euphoria and you can feel yourself tighten around him.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Kakashi whispers.

Starting off slow, he pumps into you with control. You feel pleasure and pain as Kakashi kisses your neck while grabbing onto your hair. After each thrust you feel him going faster and harder, your bodies smacking against each other. To gain more leverage, he lifts off of you and brings you up onto your hands and knees. With his hand gripping your shoulder, he pumps into you with ferocity.

“For years I’ve touched myself thinking about getting to fuck you like this baby. You’re so beautiful and so good to me. Everything about your body draws me to you,” Kakashi says in between moans. You feel him start to twitch inside you, his thrusts getting more out of control. You look over your shoulder and meet his gaze.

“We deserve this baby. You deserve this. Give me everything.” You both know your words mean more than just sex, and Kakashi relishes them.

Lifting you up by your neck, Kakashi brings you toward him so you're both kneeling while he continues thrusting inside of you. He brings one hand around your front to circle your clit and the other cups your breast. Your hands lift up behind you to grab onto his face. Turning your head to him, you kiss him with every ounce of passion you have left. This new position is hitting you at your core and you can feel yourself tighten again. Kakashi must have felt it too, as he broke free from your mouth to tilt his head back in pleasure. Without exchanging words, you know you both are at your limit.

With a few last staggering thrusts, both of you reach climax in unison. Feeling yourself go limp, Kakashi wraps his arms around you to keep you steady. You feel streams of his hot semen pool inside of your contracting walls. With Kakashi’s moans singing in your ear, you can’t help but smirk at his vulnerability. With him still inside, you hold onto each other, trying to catch your breaths. After a few beats, you both begin to laugh at your exasperated states.

“Stay here, I’m going to get a towel,” Kakashi says while shifting out of you. After pulling a towel from the cupboard in your bathroom, Kakashi brings it to you and cleans up between your legs. Before you have time to move, Kakashi picks you up bridal style and spins you around in his arms.

You scream and start to laugh as he plants kisses all over your face. “Kakashi!”

“Hm?” he hums in your ear, pretending he didn’t just lift you with little to no effort.

Holding you up with one arm, he grabs a blanket off the bed and carries you to the chair in the corner of your room. There he sits down and places you sideways on his lap so you’re facing each other. He then takes the blanket and wraps it around you both so you can stay warm while cuddling each other. Kakashi has always had a knack for knowing exactly what you want at any given moment.

“I thought we could get some inspiration for our next round,” Kakashi says with a smirk as he pulls out a copy of Icha Icha Tactics from underneath the cushion.

“What? How did that get there?” you laugh.

“Oh, I have multiple copies of these everywhere,” he jokes, waving the book in the air.

You laugh and lightly hit his chest. Tucking the blanket up closer to your face, you lay your head down on Kakashi’s shoulder while he flips open to a page in the book.

Before he starts to read to you, Kakashi lifts your chin to kiss you. Every time your lips touch his, flashes of your joint past enters your mind. Although it was hard, and you faced many difficult trials on the way, you are forever thankful that you were both able to live long enough to experience these moments. You took care of each other, lifted each other up when they were in the dirt, and now you can finally share the love you’ve always held for each other. You wouldn’t change any of it. After your kiss, before pulling away from you, Kakashi looks deep into your eyes.

“I love you, (y/n).”

You smile up at him, tears brimming in your eyes.

“I love you too, Kakashi. Forever.”

-

A/n cont.: Well, whattdaya think? :)

[unwrittenlibrary]

the warmth of your love

summary -> there are more ways to say i love you than just i love you. you and bucky share a few.

words -> 2.2k

warnings -> pining, friends to lovers, back to my fluffy bucky roots, female!reader

notes -> i wrote a harry s. piece similar to this years ago & it’s so interesting to see how my writing has changed since then. based off of this list. items from the list are italicized!

— ➶ —

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

They’re simple words that Bucky has become accustomed to.

Steve Rogers departure has left a hole in the world and a gap in Bucky’s chest that aches. They were best friends, brothers, and Bucky wasn’t sure how to navigate this world without him.

Bucky has grown used to the pity filled eyes of the Avengers, or at least what’s left of them, and the apologetic tone of voice.

The way the words came from your mouth though was different. Your eyes full of kindness and a small smile on your face that offered comfort.

“Th..Thank you.” Bucky says quietly. The two of you have only known each other for a couple years now, but Bucky finds comfort in you more than he does people he’s known since Steve and Sam had saved him. “It means a lot.”

Your hand squeezes his right forearm gently. “If you need anything, I’m here for you.”

He knows the words hold true; That if he called, you’d be over with dinner or movies to help him. It makes Bucky feel warm in a way he hasn’t in almost a century.

“I know.” His left hand covers yours. “I appreciate it.” You both share a smile, small and private, before the moment is over.

“I was in the neighborhood.”

There’s a knock on his door that makes Bucky jump. He’s been working on his reactions, logically he knows not everybody is out to get him, but it’s something ingrained in his mind.

He’s working on being better about it, he is, but it’s almost ten at night and Bucky doesn’t really have many friends left.

His hand wraps around the hilt of his knife as he creeps towards his apartment door. There’s another knock and Bucky moves to look through the peephole.

It’s you. Covered dishes in your hand and scarf wrapped tightly around your neck. Bucky’s lips quark up at the sight, fall was starting and fall in New York was a bitter cold. His hand falls from his knife as he moves to unlock the door.

“What are you doing here?” He asks incredulously as you step inside. Bucky’s eyes find his makeshift bed on the living room floor and he shifts in embarrassment.

You gently place the glass dish on his counter and shrug your coat off. “I was in the neighborhood.” It’s an obvious lie, if the meal for two is anything to go by, but Bucky doesn’t dispute it. “Thought you might be hungry.”

You move around his kitchen like you belong there, pulling out plates and utensils. Bucky watches with his mouth parted in awe. “You didn’t have to-“

“-I wanted to.” You move over, making room for Bucky to stand beside you, and hold out a fork for him. “Now, come on. It’s a new recipe.”

Bucky holds a finger up. “Let me get you a drink. I have some wine.” He shuffles through his cabinets until he comes across a bottle of white wine, a housewarming gift from Sam.

“Now it’s a date.” You giggle and Bucky can feel his cheeks heat, not at the insinuation of it being a date but the fact that he so desperately wishes it was.

“Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

Bucky knows you’re not his girlfriend. It’s a painful observation he makes every time you bring something over or offer to go out. The way your hands brush but never intertwine and how you give him a hug and press a kiss to his cheek instead of his lips.

Bucky knew you weren’t his girlfriend, but he didn’t know you were dating.

“I’m so sorry to bother you,” Your voice is choked up and you struggle to get the words out, “I just, I didn’t know who else to call.”

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Bucky’s mind has slipped into panic mode as he jumps up from his couch. He moves around his apartment, hastily pulling on pants and socks while holding the phone to his ear and listening for any signs of pain. “Where are you?”

You sniffle. “I’m fine! I’m not hurt! Well, not physically anyway. I had a date tonight and he stood me up.” You suck in a deep breath and Bucky freezes.

A date?

“So, my pride is injured.” You joke, but Bucky’s stuck frozen in the middle of his living room with one shoe on and a broken heart.

He knows, okay, he knows you never told him you had feelings for him. That you didn’t owe him anything, but he thought maybe…

“…But physically I’m okay.” You’re still talking and Bucky is only half listening. “Can I come over? I’m, like, five blocks away. Bad Moon bar. I can walk to your place. I just need a friend.”

The word rings in Bucky’s ears, but he forces himself to speak. “Stay there. I’ll come get you.” Bucky moves to pull his second shoe on and pulls on a coat.

He hears your sigh of relief. “Thank you so much. I’ll be outside.” Bucky swallows thickly when you hang the phone up.

“I think you’re beautiful.”

You have another date. This time with a man who asked what your favorite flower is and has decided to take you out to dinner instead of a bar.

Bucky’s chest hurts, but he stays silent. He’s unwilling to break this friendship up by telling you how he feels, especially when it seems clear to him that you do not feel the same way.

“Okay! Okay!” You come barreling down your hallway and into the living room. Bucky looks up from his phone and his mouth almost falls open in shock.

You look lovely in the dress that flows to your feet. It fits around your curves and Bucky can’t stop his eyes from trailing over you in awe.

“Wow.” He murmurs. Your eyes shift and you glance down at your hands fiddling in the front of your stomach. “You look…”

You cut him off before he can get anymore words out, “I look ridiculous! I knew it. I look far too dressed up.” You spin on your heel, but Bucky shoots up to stop you.

“No! You look…” He trails off nervously. Bucky looks at you, really looks at you, someone warm and full of light and understands what this feeling he has around you is. “I think you’re beautiful.”

“Happy Birthday.” & “I made this for you.”

Bucky walks into his apartment and is immediately hit with the smell of vanilla. He can hear your voice, reading ingredients to yourself, from his entryway and smiles to himself.

“I knew there was a reason Sam kept me out all day.” Bucky laughs when you jump and drop the whisk in your hand. “What’re you doing here, sweetheart?”

Your shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath. “It’s your birthday!” You smile brightly as Bucky presses a greeting kiss to your cheek.

“I’ve had too many of them, no need to bring attention to it.” Bucky dips a finger in the whipped frosting in your hands and laughs when you smack it away.

“We have to celebrate!” You exclaim with an affronted look. “No ifs ands or buts! Happy birthday, Bucky!”

The bowl of frosting is dropped on the counter as you move to wrap your arms tightly around Bucky’s waist. He settles in your arms as his own come up to wrap around you.

The poems and stories talk about being in the arms of the one you love as rapid heartbeats and butterflies but all Bucky feels is calm. It’s like the worries of his day to day life just slip away when he’s with you.

It’s good, so wonderfully good to have an anchor like that. He didn’t need the butterflies that made him feel sick or the rapid heartbeat that worsened his anxiety. He just needed the warmth.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Bucky presses another kiss to the top of your head. You pull away to look up at him excitedly. “What’s that look for?”

You pull away completely and move around to pull your bag off of one of his kitchen stools. “I made this for you.” Your voice is quiet and nervous as you push a wrapped box towards him.

It’s a small book, one with no title to indicate what’s on the inside, but Bucky can tell it’s something personal from the way you’re rocking back and forth nervously on your feet.

When he opens it to the first page, tears almost spring to his eyes. His lungs burn with effort to not cry as he flips through picture after picture. Him, you and him, him with Sam and Steve and all of you together.

Each photo has a small note next to it too. Hearts and smiley faces decorate the edges. Bucky looks up at you with his mouth open in awe.

“This is… Nobody has ever done something this special for me before.” He admits quietly. “I love it.”

A sigh of relief escapes you as Bucky moves to pull you into his arms again. “Happy Birthday, Buck.” You murmur into his chest.

It’s the best birthday Bucky’s had since he was a child.

“You can tell me anything.”

You’re nervous.

It���s obvious in the way your eyes shift to Bucky before back to the sidewalk in front of you.

Your nervousness is making Bucky nervous. His fingers twitching every so often and he finds himself shifting around as if he expects something to hop out from behind one of the trees.

“Are you okay?” Bucky finally asks when he notices your hands tangled together in front of your stomach. “You’re being fidgety.”

You look up with wide, shocked eyes like you had forgotten Bucky was there entirely, too caught up in your own thoughts. “I’m okay!” You say quickly.

Bucky feels his eyes narrow and he forces you to a stop beside him with a gentle hand on your elbow. “Are you sure?”

“Yep! Just busy overthinking.” You laugh awkwardly as you glance down at the hand still wrapped around your elbow. Bucky drops it quickly, but your hand reaches out to intertwine your fingers with his. “I just… I’ve been wanting to ask you.. No. Tell you something.”

Bucky squeezes your hand gently. “You can tell me anything.” He says quietly. You look at him with wet eyes and Bucky feels himself panic. “No judgement, not from me, not ever.”

“Promise?” You ask quietly. Your voice sounds so unlike you, so nervous and uncomfortable that Bucky isn’t sure what he can do to make it better.

So he nods. “Promise. I’m the last person to judge, sweetheart.”

“I love you.”

It’s right out of those romantic comedies that Bucky pretends to dislike. The way you stand in front of him, wrapped up in a winter coat and scarf, with trembling hands and admit to Bucky how you feel.

“I’ve felt like this for a long time. A really long time now, I don’t think I could even tell you when because it just happened.” You ramble when you’re nervous, a habit Bucky thinks is adorable. “And I knew you were going through a lot, so I never said anything. I love being your friend, I do, but I had to tell you. It’s tearing me up having this secret because I hate secrets.”

Bucky says your name in an attempt to cut you off, but you don’t seem to hear him. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I-“

Your lips press shut when Bucky’s hands come up to cup your cheeks. “Will you shut up for just one second?” He asks sweetly.

You nod with wide eyes. “I feel warm around you,” Bucky starts off, “I don’t feel butterflies or sweaty palms. I used too, sometimes when you look at me a certain way I still do, but most of the time I just feel warm. I… I feel like I can breathe again. I feel calm. You make me calm.”

“What?” You ask softly. It’s obvious you’re trying to not get your hopes up as Bucky talks.

“I love you too.” Bucky says clearly. Your hand comes up to rest over his on your cheek as you press into the pressure. “You make it easy for me to breathe again.”

Bucky feels the sigh of relief you let out. “You make it easy for me too.” You say quietly, your tone much lighter than before.

“Can I kiss you?”

When you nod, Bucky can feel his entire face brighten. He’s sure there’s a nervous blush there as you tilt your head up towards him and leans to meet you halfway.

It’s just as warm as you are, the way you kiss. Slow and pushing all of your emotions into it. Your lips are cold, but Bucky’s sure his are too.

It’s everything he’s wanted with you. Despite the snowflakes beginning to fall around you and the wind nipping at his skin, all Bucky feels is warmth.

Bonus -> “Can I have this dance?”

A winter wedding seemed fitting when you had suggested it. Something small, intimate and warm. Just a few of your closest friends and family to bear witness.

You’ve been wandering around the venue for the past hour, saying hi to family and catching up with people you’ve been too busy to hang out with the past couple of months. Bucky’s sick of not having you by his side.

His arm wraps your waist from behind and he presses a kiss to your cheek, immediately cutting off what you were saying to Pepper.

A slow song starts, Bucky won’t admit until later that he told the DJ to start it once Bucky reached your side.

“Mrs. Barnes, can I have this dance?”

— ➶ —

me: has ten pieces in the drafts that need to be worked on

also me: just writes this fluffy disaster

[namjooningelsewhere]

Say Yes Maybe?

Pairing : Jungkook x Reader

Genre : Lovers to soulmates, lots of fluff!!!

Rating : 18+

Summary - It's Jungkooks birthday and a plan for a mini vacation is on. It has to be the best birthday ever and you were planning to make it the even more memorable.

The boys were supposed to back today from their tour after a long long time and i had missed him a million much, It was hard him not being around. It was hard to sleep with the empty bedside when i knew he would be right there most of the times to wake me or rather smother me with the best kisses- My Kookie.

I wrote a one-shot for first time, hope you like it, please do let me know your feedbacks would mean a lot.

Though this year marked a different beginning for me as i was sure of one thing i wanted to make this birthday the best for him. I had a surprise trip planned ahead for Jungkook. I had figured it out with Namjoon in accordance with their dates and i was going to surprise him at the airport.

I was waiting in the private lounge when i got the arrived text message from namjoon. Somehow they walked cluelessly and Jungkook froze the second he saw me, he couldn't absolute figure what i was doing at the airport in a private lounge. Namjoon smiled at me and tapped him on the back- Have fun buddy. Everyone gave me a teasing wink and left.

Jungkook was beyond amazed and he just kept staring which made me chuckle. "Baby what are you doing here?" and what's all this? What were those looks for?" He couldn't help but just ambush me with his questions. "Kookie relax I'm not kidnapping you." I said.

"That doesn't answer my question though." He sulked. We are going somewhere. I tried giving him a hint. There was a gleam in his eyes ."Where?" he asked with an amused look in his eyes. "Maybe i am whisking you away for your birthday?" I asked is that information enough for you as of now kookie? I asked innocently.

I let the destination remain a secret for now enveloping his boarding passes in a sticker so he couldn't figure where we were headed. It was a short flight considering he flew non stop for 18 hours but it was only a short while that we reach our destination to give him the surprise of his life.

It was two years since we started dating and it was an absolute roller coaster ride with kookie, There was never a dull day with him around and he made sure of that even when he was away. Of course we had our share of ups and downs but again it was normal to happen. But there was nothing Jungkook's kisses couldn't fix.

It was almost evening when we reached our destination. He went running like a excited child ready to explore whatever was thrown at him and you enjoyed watching him. We stepped out of the airport he dropped the bag he was carrying signing a no way with those doe eyes, All i could was smile at this bunny of my boyfriend- "Welcome to Milan, My love"

It was like a dream come true to me i always wanted a road trip and with man of my dreams and now i happened to have both of that and i knew i wanted to make this the most special birthday of his life, one which will be a fond memory to both of us. We checked in to the hotel to rest for the night before we left for our road trip.

It was so good to be with Jungkook finally, to feel his arms wrapped around me while we stood gazing at the window, Or his hands that cleaned me when we had shower together. We cuddled like nobody's business and fell asleep in each others arms tired yet content to be each others arms for the night. Just our kind of night.

The next morning was a fresh start since we just waited for our breakfast while a ride arrived honking infront of the bnb. I gave our copy of documents to the person and looked at the beauty of the car, she was an vintage beauty but very gorgeous. "Baby this is umm really sweet was all Jungkook could manage before he pulled me into a bear hug.

We drove through the countryside in Piacenza, It was a beautiful place by with open farms, picturesque villages with a typical rustic northern Italy atmosphere. We just grabbed something to eat and left on our way. It was a sight to watch Jungkook's hair in the wind looked like a sight i would die for.

I clicked as many impromptu candid, Fake candid's of him when he tried to pout in most of them, But i wasn't at fault either, Why would you hold back if you have a muse like ? He was such a sweetheart and his excitement had me bubbling inside, This guy had me falling in love with him more and more.

We stopped at Cinque Terre for the night, and god damn that place, i was speechless once i saw the place while i booked it online. It was a rustic cottage stay by the beach. It was beautifully laid out in the landscapes of olives, and wild flowers. The night was spent drinking wine lots and lots of it and some wild love making. I'm sure everyone around must have heard it.

I woke up to the sound of water gushing, and an empty bedside. I wore his shirt and just peeped in from the balcony, There was the man washing the car, Jungkook looked like a sin washing the car shirtless with a track, almost wet hair and those abs that flexed whenever he stretched to wipe the surface.

This man was going to be the death of me. I called him casually, he came running to me, "Good morning beautif.. Before he could complete i crashed him to the wall and kissed him which well ended up in a lot of heated make out and a lot of morning sex. "It was the fucking carwash isn't it?" He said grinning from ear to ear. "Nope, It was the shirtless Jungkook, hair wet and the abs." I chimed. He froze to the detailed description before pulling me in to smother his Jungkook kisses.

We drove through the Pisa had our share of touristy vibe of the leaning tower of Pisa before we headed to San Milato in the Tuscan countryside. It was supposed to be three days on the road before it was time for Jungkook's birthday and i had certain plans to celebrate so we had to make sure we had to reach Naples.

It was finally his birthday eve and we spent the night in the calmness by the sea a bonfire some marshmallows and some cake which happened to be utilized in a lot of other ways later. "Happy birthday baby" I said as we laid on the sands for the night.

It was in the evening, i had planned a surprise for him at the private beach by the hotel, It was more of a candle light celebration with some music and a dance maybe with the most handsome and hottest man in this world Jeon Jungkook.

It was after the celebration that we sat on the cliff by the sea with some dim lighting which were making the view even more beautiful. I sat with him with my head on his shoulder and hands intertwined in his. "Baby this is the most beautiful birthday ever, Thankyou for just bringing me here with you so unexpectedly, Thankyou for the amazing time we had and for everything. I love you doll, I just wish the time freezes here forever with you right here next to me." He said almost in tears.

"Then make it, I said taking my cue to ask what i wanted to right since the first day i started planning this trip. "As in?" He questioned.

"Jungkook i don't know how to say this without scaring you away, but i think I've fallen in love with you beyond anything and it would be the best thing in this whole fucking world to wake up next to you, grow old with you just tolerate those lame jokes you make, just drool over you the way i do, and let you convince me for anything with those puppy eyes for the rest of my life. Jeon Jungkook Will you marry me please?" I completed getting down on one knee for the man of my life.

He stood there frozen at his place and it almost made me think he was going to say no, my world was spinning right next to my eyes and i managed to control a sob. "kookie you don't have to answer me just yet if you don't-- He swiped me off the ground hugging me "Yes baby yes.... I am the luckiest person you know", He said with a sparkle in his eyes. I took out the box i got from my purse with his name engraved on it. "Baby where do i go for a ring" he whined. "Its okay baby i can have mine when we go back."

The next two days were spent in holding hands, making love, visiting historical places and driving by the countryside eating pizza, drinking wine, going all touristy before it was time to go back home to getting back to people who i badly wanted to celebrate with. Celebrate me and my kookie, celebrate US!!!

[mimisempai]

You walked into my life like you had always lived there

Summary

Charles has resigned himself to a life alone in Paris, but he might be surprised by a visit from an "old friend"... Will they get another chance to reach happiness?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31463351

Words:3719 - Chapters:1/1

This morning, like every other morning, sitting on the terrace of the café downstairs from his small apartment, Charles was waiting for his usual coffee while watching the bustle of the street. Delivery men unloading their vans at the grocery store on the corner, the bookstore owner unpacking his shelves, a tourist couple having their picture taken with the view of Montmartre in the background. The passers-by, people going to work, others walking their dogs. All this lively and colorful world coming and going, talking, laughing, reminded him of the hallway of a certain school, in the mornings just before the students entered their classrooms.

And like every morning, Charles was acutely aware of his loneliness. He had voluntarily closed his mind to all other thoughts than his own.

Thoughts that were enough to torment him.

More often than not, they were memories which he forced himself to face. His mistakes, what he should or should not have done. Searching, dissecting when he had lost sight of his values. At what point he had let down those he had sworn to protect since the day he had discovered Raven in his kitchen so many years ago.

But appeasement never came.

At the beginning, Hank gave him news of the school, of the progress of the students, news of each one and then little by little the messages had spaced, Charles put more and more time to answer, letting the distance grow voluntarily. It was now 3 months that he had no news and it was good like that.

Raven, Jean, Alex... and the names of all the others were spinning in his head, like a macabre dance, a torture he was inflicting on himself to atone.

There was only one name that he refused to pronounce, that he refused to think about. The one name that had always been able to read him without having any telepathic powers.

"You're always sorry, Charles. And there's always a speech. But nobody cares anymore."

"Will that be all sir?"

The waitress, pulling him out of his musings, put his coffee on the table.

"Yes, thank you," Charles replied.

"Mutant and proud."

Raven had always been right,

"Or is that only with pretty mutations or invisible ones, like yours. But if you're a freak, better hide."

Mutant yes, but proud he was no longer. He was the freak who had to hide.

He took a sip of his coffee and ran his hand over his face.

He suddenly felt a presence behind his back, and a shiver went through him at the sound of the voice with such familiar inflections,

"How's retirement treating you Charles?"

Erik sat down and placed a small case containing a chess set at his feet. Why was he there? To taunt him? To provoke him? Charles resisted the temptation to read his mind. He clenched his fist on his knee. Erik was the only one to provoke this storm of emotions in him. The only one who had the capacity to unsettle him.

So as always he chose the attack,"What are you doing here, Erik?"

He finally dared to meet Erik's eyes, and he almost gasped, because, in the blue-gray eyes, there was nothing of the harshness, of the disappointment from their last meeting. Erik's gaze was kind and open as he replied with a slight smile, "I came to see an old friend. Fancy a game?"

Erik showed him the chess set at their feet. Their usual chess game, the moment when their minds clashed. That space outside of time, where despite the fights and conflicts, they always managed to find each other. But this time Charles wasn't sure he had the strength to offer Erik a worthy opponent. So he shook his head and replied, "No, not today. Thank you."

He looked away. He couldn't look at Erik when so many emotions were running through him. He was sure he would never see the only man he had ever loved again, and there he was in front of him, beautiful, making Charles even more aware of his own state.

"A long time ago, you saved my life. Then you offered me a home. I'd like to do the same for you."

Charles studied Erik's expression for a long time. Always the same openness and acceptance. He was once again tempted to read Erik's mind.

"You can, you know." Erik made the hand motion that Charles made when he wanted to access someone's mind.

As always he had seen right through Charles, but again no disappointment or disgust in the voice and the eyes.

Charles after swallowing, answered in a slightly hoarse voice, having trouble containing his emotions.

"I don't do that anymore."

Erik simply nodded with a half smile, put his hands in his pockets, then took them out, and held them out in front of him in clenched fists, just like in the old days.

"Just one game. For old times' sake."

Charles gave in, he didn't feel like fighting anymore, he didn't feel like pretending. So he held out his hand to Erik's right fist, which opened to a white pawn.

Erik said with a slight teasing smile, "I'll go easy on you."

Charles replied with the same smile, just a little more hesitant, "No, you won't."

As they set up the pieces, Erik added, "I might surprise you, you know Charles."

Charles stopped his motion as he went to move a knight, and said with emotion in his voice as he stared into Erik's eyes, "You already have."

Time stood still for a moment, neither of them able to take their eyes off the other. Then Charles continued his movement and the game resumed.

The sun was high in the sky when they finished their game. It was Erik who had won. But as always, no matter who won, neither of them cared, the important thing was the duel not the result.

"Well?" inquired Erik as he closed the chess set, "Did you have time to think about my offer?"

"Did you mean it?" Charles hoped Erik couldn't hear the eagerness in his voice, because he really wanted to accept Erik's offer. But did he deserve it? Did he have a right to this home Erik was offering him? And what did a home even mean?

His hand began to tremble slightly, as if he wanted to grasp something, but didn't dare. He closed his eyes to compose himself.

He felt a hand rest on his as Erik's voice said softly, "Charles...". He opened his eyes. Erik's hand opened his clenched fist and intertwined his fingers with his. Charles slowly raised his eyes to Erik's face.

The urge to surrender, to let go, hit Charles even harder. He could see so much in Erik's eyes, but he was so afraid of being disappointed and of disappointing... again. He closed his fingers over Erik's and tried to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat.

Erik continued, "Charles, no demands, no debts, no obligations, this is completely free, I'm just offering you a simple and protected life. It's far from a castle life, but Genosha is a small, isolated island where we have created a self-sufficient community. Most of the inhabitants are like us, "retired" mutants with wounds to heal. You can-"

Charles interrupted him, "It's okay Erik, no need to say any more, I accept. " and after a moment of silence, he added, "Thank you."

Erik simply smiled, put his other hand over their entwined hands and said, "I'm just showing the same generosity that you have shown to me over and over again. No need for gratitude between us. We are just two friends and..."

Erik paused as if he were about to say something else.

"And?" asked Charles, curious about what Erik had stopped himself from saying.

For the first time since the beginning of this meeting, Erik looked a little unsettled before answering, "Nothing... well at least not now."

Charles didn't insist, he knew there was a lot to clear up between them. But now that he had decided to follow Erik to his island, he knew they had time.

"So how do we do this?"

Erik replied as he stood up, "I'll go with you to your flat, you take what you need for a few days, and we'll leave for Genosha. You can get the rest delivered later."

"So soon?"

"Why wait? Do you have obligations here, people to say goodbye to?"

"No!" replied Charles curtly, angry at having been found out once again.

He began to roll his wheelchair quickly toward the entrance of his building. Erik joined him in two strides before putting his hand on his shoulder. Charles felt bad for being so touch starved that this simple touch immediately soothed him.

"Charles, I know what it's like, I've been there. Don't get upset. It wasn't a criticism or a mockery." He squeezed Charles' shoulder before letting his hand fall back.

"I know..." sighed Charles. "Come on."

As they walked through the door of Charles' tiny apartment, sensing that Erik was about to say something, Charles admonished him, "Don't say anything."

Erik waved his hand, as if he were zipping up his mouth without hiding his smile, but finally couldn't help himself.

"My Charles, do you live in that shoebox? I'm disappointed in you! Pretty spartan."

Seeing Charles' dark glare, he pretended to surrender. "Ok, ok, I'm not saying anything more."

Charles muttered, "Liar."

Then they gathered Charles' things and a few hours later they were on their way to Genosha.

__________

Two weeks later, Charles was unpacking the last of the boxes that had just arrived, mostly books. Erik had built him some makeshift shelves. His "residence" like all of Genosha’s, was made of salvaged materials, but Charles didn't mind. Although he had always lived in a certain opulence, he knew how to make do with little.

"Need a hand?"

Erik had just stepped through the curtain that served as a door.

"I'm not saying no."

They hadn't had time to really talk and clear the air between them, but Erik was very thoughtful. Charles was a little insecure, not knowing where he stood. So he decided to just take things as they came. If he was honest with himself, he knew how he felt about Erik. But he wouldn't act, he didn't want to risk breaking the friendship they were rebuilding.

Erik had begun unpacking a box of books.

"Do you have a particular order?"

"No put them on the shelves as they come for now."

So Erik began to put the books away, commenting on some of the titles.

"Oh Charles, Charlotte Brontë really? Jane Eyre as well?"

"Hey Erik, just because you're helping me doesn't mean you have to like what I read."

"Ho Ho! You even marked a page."

Charles remembered, what page and what words he had written in the margin.

"Erik, please put that book away, it doesn't matter."

But he could see from Erik's face that he wasn't about to let go, so he resigned himself and closed his eyes waiting for a reaction, of what kind, he didn't know.

"Charles?"

Charles squeezed his eyes tighter.

"Yes?"

"Is that about me?"

Charles had a small self-deprecating laugh before he replied, "I don't know any other Erik, so yes."

"What do you mean with 'you left Erik and now I'm bleeding'?"

Charles let out a big sigh and put his head in his hands. "This is really embarrassing...it's in relation to the underlined passage that's a little higher up if I remember correctly."

He knew the phrase by heart, because it had resonated in a special way since he'd met Erik, but he hadn't expected the raw emotion that ran through him when he heard Erik read the words aloud.

“I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you. And if you were to leave I’m afraid that cord of communion would snap. And I have a notion that I’d take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, you’d forget me.”

Charles heard Erik put the book down, and a sound of footsteps, he still didn't want to open his eyes, he was too afraid of what he would read in Erik's eyes. He was aware of Erik's presence very close to him, then a hand clasped his.

"Charles, please look at me." Erik's voice was almost pleading, Charles didn't resist and opened his eyes, to see that Erik had knelt down to be at his level. Then he looked up at Erik's eyes, afraid of what he would find there, and gasped, Erik looked almost amazed, yes that's right, amazed.

"Charles is that how you still feel?" Erik asked him in an pressing tone, his eyes scanning his, leaving Charles no escape.

Charles swallowed, and despite his tight throat, he tried to answer, "Yes."

"But when... I mean since when?"

"When? Do you remember the day you managed to unlock your power. The day you let me access that memory? Well since that day, I've felt this very strong connection between us."

Erik tightened his grip on his hand and asked, "And those words in the margin?"

Charles' voice was a whisper, "After the missiles and the beach, when you left."

"Oh Charles, I...I'm so sorry." The regret was genuine in Erik's eyes.

"Don't be anymore, it's been a long time since I forgave you and since then I think I've made my share of mistakes and bad decisions. Some of which have more consequences than losing my legs. Raven was right, I had forgotten who I was. Why I started all this in the first place. I lost sight of what was important, I lost... I lost so much. And I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner, and... I'm not as evolved as I thought I was. You say you're sorry Erik, but you don't know how sorry I am. Forgive me I... I must..."

Charles had to go, he had to get out, the grief he had been feeling since he left school, no even before, since Raven's death, it was all threatening to come out, he didn't want to fall apart like that in front of Erik.

But Erik was keeping him from walking away. Still kneeling and holding his hand.

"Erik, please move over... let go of me, I have to get out, I-" the tears were starting to blur his vision, with his free hand he was trying to push his wheelchair forward.

"Charles, stop! You don't have to leave. You don't have to be alone anymore. You are not alone!"

Erik loosened Charles other hand's grip on the wheel, and suddenly took him in his arms, and he felt his lips move against his head and the words came to his ears "Charles, you can let go, even though I've failed you many times in the past, this time I won't. Let it go. Don't be afraid, I'll catch you."

Because Charles no longer had the strength to stay strong, because he was craving for someone to lean on, he let go. He let the grief engulf him, because he knew Erik was there and would keep him from drowning.

Erik continued to hold him and whispered over and over, "That's it, let it all out. I'm here mein Liebster. Let it out."

Once the crying dried up, exhaustion fell on Charles and he fell asleep in Erik's arms. He was sleeping so deeply that Erik had been able to lift him out of his wheelchair without him waking up and now he was lying with his back against Erik's front, his head under his chin and Erik's arms wrapped around Charles.

Erik had been torn when he saw his beloved overwhelmed by grief and wondered how long it had been since Charles had been able to express his pain. He had always been attracted to the shining side of Charles, he often compared them to two sides of the same coin. But when he'd found him in Paris, he'd seen that all that light was like dulled.

"Erik..." the still broken voice Charle continued, "Thank you..."

"Sshh Charles, I told you no thanks are needed between us."

"Yeah..." Erik felt Charles relax against him again.

"Sleep, meine Liebster."

Much later, Erik was awakened by a gentle brushing sensation on his face. He opened his eyes, found himself facing Charles, who was withdrawing his hand as if he had been caught with his hands in the jam jar.  Erik grabbed his hand and placed it back on his own cheek.

"Don't stop Charles..."

He saw Charles' expression ease as he gently stroked his face with feather-like touches, tracing Erik's facial lines with his fingertips.

Their faces were so close that Erik immediately caught sight of Charles gulping as a veil of sadness passed over his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I've lost you so many times already," Charles murmured.

"But I'm still here and so are you. Now we're together."

Erik couldn't resist, he crossed the remaining distance between them and put his lips to Charles'. It was as if everything fell into place in their worlds at that moment.

They remained for a long time, joined in a soft and almost innocent embrace.

Charles moved back and stared at Erik, looking for something in his eyes. He must have found what he was looking for because he smiled. His hand came up to brush a strand of hair from his face.

His lips parted and he pressed them to Erik's again. Erik licked the corner of his mouth and slid his tongue over his bottom lip, then kissed him. Charles quickly opened up to him, welcoming him wordlessly with his lips and hands in his hair. His tongue mimicked the actions of hers, and soon they were drinking from each other's lips, caught up in a thirst that would not seem to be quenched.

Erik slid his hands to Charles' waist, and pulled him as close as he could get. Charles' head fell back with a moan as Erik’s fingers slipped under his shirt and caressed his back. Erik took advantage of his distraction and lowered his head even further to press himself against his neck. He felt the slide of his tongue against his skin, then his teeth biting the same spot. Charles had a slight startle. His hands slid over Erik's shoulders and his fingers dug in. Erik immediately raised his head, worried about his reaction. "Not good?"

"No. Good. Really good," Charles reassured him in a gentle sigh. Erik smiled fondly and returned his attentions to Charles' neck. But Charles groaned and tugged at his hair, pulling Erik toward him so he could take his lips again.

Much later, as they both caught their breath. Lips to lips, forehead to forehead, Charles asked Erik, "I don't know if I was dreaming or not, but before you called me 'mein liebster', 'my dearest' if I am not mistaken."

For the first time since he had known him, Charles saw Erik's cheeks turn slightly pink. However, Erik's voice was perfectly assured as he replied, "You were not dreaming mein Liebster." He punctuated his words with a tender kiss.

"Unless you prefer, mein Schatz, my treasure." Another kiss.

"Or mein Geliebter, my beloved." Another kiss.

It was now Charles's turn to have slightly red cheeks. But he, too, looked Erik squarely in the eye and asked, "Is that really what I am?"

"Yes, my love and much more." Erik emphasized this with another kiss.

"Since when?"

"I'll show you. By looking into my thoughts in the brightest corner of my sensory memory like you did that time, you will find an additional memory beyond the one you found to help me unlock my powers."

Charles began to protest, "No Erik, I don't want to-"

Erik put a finger over his mouth, "Shhh, I'm asking you to."

He took Charles' hand and placed his fingers against his temple, in the familiar gesture he had when he wanted to access someone's thoughts.

Erik, visibly moved, addressed Charles, "What did you just do to me?"

"I accessed the brightest corner of your memory system. It's a very beautiful memory, Erik. Thank you"

"I didn't know I still had that."

Charles put his hand on his shoulder and said with strength and emotion in his voice, "There's so much more to you than you know. Not just pain and anger. There's good to you, I felt it. And when you can access all that, you'll possess a power no one can match. Not even me."

When Charles exited Erik's head, they were both deeply moved by the strength of the emotions of the shared memory.

Erik pressed his forehead against Charles'.

"What you told me that day, that there was good to me, that you felt it. It's a memory as happy as my mother's. It was also that day that I felt the connection between us. That I knew that-"

Erik paused for a moment.

"That you knew what?"

"That I was hopelessly and madly in love with you. I love you Charles. We've fought together, we've clashed, we've been through terrible trials sometimes together, sometimes against each other, but this, what I feel for you has always been my ultimate truth. I love you Charles."

Charles once again gasped, this time at the open adoration he read on Erik's face.

He raised his hand to his face, tracing the outline of it he said, his voice broken, "Despite all the detours I've taken, all the bad decisions you or I have made, every time, when it counted, you were there by my side, that unchanging presence. I can't tell where you start and where I end. I love you Erik, more than my life."

There. That moment. This moment of perfect communion after all they had been through. The fate, the choices, the events that had separated them, brought them together in a spiral that never seemed to end, it was all over. It was time for them to live. It wasn't the end, it was the beginning. This was their story.

___________

Although I am very familiar with X-men - Movie verse, I have never written for this fandom before. After rewatching Dark Phoenix, I'm only holding onto this ending scene. I wanted to write about Erik and Xavier from there. I hope I did them justice.

Not beta'd I hope you enjoyed your reading.

[dontcare77ghj]

Tree

Steve x reader x Bucky x Sam

Reader POV

The year was 1516, it was all hallows eve, and you were standing at the edge of the wood near your village. 

You were waiting for your lover to arrive with a horse so the two of you could elope. Neither of your parents approved of your relationship, but you wouldn't hear of it. 

You were in love with this man, and you desired to be his. You wanted to be his wife.

So, the two of you had made a plan. You would steal a bag of silver and gold from your father, he would take a horse, and the two of you would marry without your family's consent.

The moon was at its highest point, and you were beginning to feel scared. It was all hallows eve, a full moon, you standing in front of the woods, and your lover was nowhere in sight. 

There was a loud crack behind you that caused you to jump. Your head snapped behind you as you tried to see what had made the noise. 

Your eyes were desperately scouring the wood when a sharp pain exploded in your back.

You let out a loud scream, hand attaching itself to the area as you whipped around to see your lover standing there with a knife.

"Henry?" You whimpered, jumping back as he slashed at you once more. Without a second thought, you rushed into the woods. 

You stumbled several times before you decided to kick off your shoes, throw your coin purse, and hike up your long skirt. You could hear Henry behind you screaming your name as you dashed to the left and fell down a hill.

You rolled down the long slope, branches, and prickles scratching your face and arms as you let out small cries. As you reached the bottom of the hill, you laid there for several seconds as Henry's yells dulled into silence. 

The pain in your back startled you back into reality, and you had to press your hand to your mouth to silence your cry.

You needed to find help.

As you attempted to stand, your legs gave way and caused you to go tumbling to the forest floor. You tried to stand twice more before abandoning the idea and crawling forwards.

You couldn't say for how long you crawled along the forest floor, but it was a while before you conceded and stopped. The reality of what had happened crashed down on you as you laid, bleeding on the trunk of a tree.

The full moon was shining onto your face as your blood dripped onto the exposed roots of the old tree.

"I don't want to die." You whispered aloud. "I don't want to die. Not like this." You said to yourself, to the moon, to the forest as your eyes closed and your head fell back against the tree, and you fell from the world.

You didn't die. 

When you awoke the next morning, there was a loud humming noise in your ears as you made the trek to the edge of the forest.

As you made it to the edge of the wood, suddenly your legs couldn't move. You tried for hours, ran through the majority of the woods, trying to find a way out, but every time you made it to the edge, you were unable to move.

The humming in your ears followed you as you somehow made it back to the tree where you had woken up.

Do not cry.  A low voice said into your mind. The sudden appearance from the voice startled you and caused you to jump upright.

"Who said that?" You called, spinning in a circle. "Who's there?"

I am in front of you, young one.

"The tree?" You murmured to yourself. The voice was silent as you reached forward and pressed your hand to the trunk of the tree.

You gasped as sparks traveled through your arm and throughout your body. The humming in your ear turned into loud shouting, and then you were gone.

As it turns out, on that fateful all hallows eve, something happened to you. As you laid dying, your blood mingled with the roots and soil of the tree. This, combined with the full moon, had intertwined your spirit with the tree.

You were a part of the tree, and it a part of you. 

This is why you could understand not just your tree, but the other trees of the wood. And they could hear and listen to you too.

It was also why you couldn't leave the woods. You were as bound to the earth here as your tree was.

In the beginning, you had tried to keep track of your time here. Counted out the days and weeks, but soon it became too hard, and you lost track.

Be careful, young one, you could fall. The tree chided as you walked along the thick branches. 

"I am always careful." You grinned, lightly hopping to another branch. "Besides, I have had much practice."

You have had much practice in falling. The tree teased you.

"And that practice has left me an experienced climber." You shrugged. You had just climbed to the top of the tree when you witnessed something fall from the sky. "What was that?"

Perhaps you should investigate.

Without another word, you jumped from the tree and began to race towards the crash. 

As you got closer, you slowed down and hid behind a tree. From there, you could see what appeared to be a large pile of scraped metal in a heap behind three men. 

Two of the men were laid unconscious while a blonde was attempting to help one.

You should go and help them.

"I don't believe that would be a good idea." You whispered. 

You are scared. The tree acknowledged your fears. My dear girl, you have no need to fear these men. I sense no danger from them.

"Are you sure?"

I am sure, Y/N. Go and help them. 

"Of course." You nodded before moving out into the open. "Allow me to help you." You said to the blonde, startling him.

"Who are you?" He demanded, grabbing a circular disk from beside him.

"My name is Y/N. I mean no harm. I merely wish to help your friends." You said, raising your hands. "Your friend needs yarrow root." You nodded to the brunette. "I just want to help." You repeated to him.

"Please, help us." The blonde's resolve crumbled after a second. 

You rushed into action, finding the root quickly and mashing it into a paste with the knife from your belt.

As you coated the brunette's wounds, the blonde was making a splint for the man with darker skin.

"Steve." The blonde announced, causing you to look up from your work.

"Pardon?"

"My name. My name is Steve. Thank you for helping me." Steve told you.

"Of course." You nodded. "The three of you are going to need shelter for the night." You said, noting the darkening sky.

"Where can we find shelter?" Steve asked. 

"You can stay with me." You told him. "I live close by."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Steve breathed. "I can't carry Sam and Buck at once, though," Steve added more to himself.

"Another thing I can help with." You smiled, jumping up and moving to the closest tree. Pressing your hand into the bark, you closed your eyes and passed on your need to it. 

Suddenly a large section of bark from the trunk of the tree slid from it and landed gently at your feet.

"Do you think we should carry them or drag your friends back to my home?" You asked, turning to the shocked blonde.

"Your home is lovely." Steve complimented you as you gathered a handful of apples.

"Thank you." You smiled, handing him an apple, and taking a seat beside him. "The trees donated the woods, and I gathered the ferns and leaves myself."

"How did you do that?" Steve questioned you. "Get the tree to do that? And all this?"

"It's very complicated. I'm not even sure how it works, precisely myself." You murmured, looking down. "A long time ago, I was attacked and bleeding out. It was all hallows eve, and my blood mixed with this tree's life force. My spirit is a part of this tree, and this tree is a part of me. I awoke after my death to find I was connected to not only this tree but the rest in this forest." You explained to him. 

"My ma used to tell me stories when I was a kid. It was mostly Celtic mythology, but it sorta sounds like you're a Dryad." Steve told you. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"It's okay. It was a long time ago. At least, I believe it was. Frankly, I lost track of time many moon cycles ago." You said.

"What was the last year you remember?"

"It was 1516 when I died."

"Y/N, it's currently 2018," Steve informed you, causing you to drop your apple in shock.

Sam, Steve, and Bucky had been staying with you for two full moon cycles. The metal they had crashed, a jet Sam told you, was entirely unsalvagable meaning, they couldn't call their team for a rescue.

The nearest town was apparently seventeen hours away, and Sam and Bucky were too injured to walk.

You didn't mind having guests for many reasons. One being you hadn't been in contact with another human who had good intentions for years. 

To have people who had been outside these woods, to talk to was a dream come true.

You loved their company more than you could admit. You and Steve would talk about mythology, books, and stories for hours on end. You and Bucky would about your shared interests in nature and in animals until the sunset. And you could listen to Sam explain the outside world and what had happened since your death until he lost his voice.

But they would also listen to you. When you'd explain what you could do, how you'd spend your days, and what life was like when you were alive.

"I can't believe you've never had a burger before." Bucky shook his head as you and Steve picked blackberries. 

"To be fair, growing up, we weren't the wealthiest. We were well off and could occasionally afford something from the butcher but not often." You said, smiling as Steve threw a berry at Sam.

"We have to find a way to get you a burger," Sam said, looking at you from where he laid with Bucky. "Maybe you could come with us when we find a way home."

"I couldn't. I can't leave the forest." You shook your head. 

"Seriously?" Sam questioned you.

"I tried to leave, but I can't move past the edge of the wood." You told him. "My tree is bound here, and so am I."

"Jesus." Bucky whistled lowly.

"I'm not complaining. I love my life here. I love the animals, the land and the trees. But it does get very lonely here. Before the three of you, I hadn't seen people for fourteen moons."

"Where did they go?"

"They tried to destroy the forest. Men began cutting down trees with these electric contraptions. I could hear all the trees screaming, but I hid until they started cutting my tree." You said, lifting your head and showcasing your neck. "The second they cut into my tree, I began to feel the pain it did."

"What happened to them?"

"I frightened and angry, and it was as if the forest came to life." You said, looking down. "I don't know what I did, but none of those men came out alive." You added, lightly tracing the scar on your throat.

"That wasn't your fault. You lost control. It happens to the best of us." Steve assured you.

"They still died by my hand. It is still an accident I caused." 

"Do you regret it?" Bucky asked you. "Do you regret what you did?"

"Every day." You nodded. "I regret what happened to them every day."

"Then that's all you can do. All you can do is look back on your mistakes and regret them." Bucky told you. "Take it from me as someone who has made many mistakes over their lifetime." He said, causing you to nod.

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way, Steve carry me back to the treehouse," Sam said, reaching his arms out to the blonde. "I think it's time we try to cook for Y/N."

The boys had officially been in your forest for three months. The three were all healed up but were still staying with you.

"Bucky, no!" You shrieked as the man wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you off the ground. 

"Come swim with us, doll." Bucky grinned, walking you over to the lake where Steve and Sam were waiting. 

"I swear, Bucky." You began before being tossed into a waiting Sam's arms. As you sputtered up water, Bucky stood on the bank laughing hardly. "I'll give you something to laugh about." You grinned, flicking your hand, causing a branch to whip Bucky into the water.

"Okay, okay, I give!" Bucky shouted as Steve and Sam howled with laughter. "You win!" He surrendered. 

The three of you spent hours in the lake until you were all pruney, which is when you all moved onto the shore.

"If you could have one thing, what would it be?" Sam asked randomly as the four of you gazed at the clouds. "I'd kill for one of Stark's smoothies."

"A dragon," Bucky said immediately. 

"Ma's soup," Steve responded.

"What about you, Y/N? If you could have one thing in this world, what would it be?" Bucky asked after you remained silent.

"I want to have love." You said without looking away from the sky. "I think I stopped believing it was a real thing after Henry for a long time."

"And now?" Steve asked. "What do you think now?"

"I think. I think I'm a fool. Looking back, what I had with Henry was never a good relationship. I was foolish and naive when I was with Henry, and I don't think I even knew what love felt like then." You said, turning to face him.

"Do you feel it now?" Bucky pressed you.

"I do, and I think I understand the difference between being in love and loving something. I love the trees. I love my woods. I loved my family." You began, biting your lip when you paused.

"And?" Sam asked, rolling over to face you. "What's the difference?"

"It's nothing important. Ignore me." You told him.

"Doll, we want to hear what you have to say. It's important to us." Bucky told you.

You took a deep breath as you sat on your knees and faced the three who sat up.

"I love the trees. I love my woods. I loved my family. But I think I'm in love. I think I'm in love with the three of you. I don't the same way about those things that I do about the three of you are. Everything I feel about each of you is so deep and raw, and it frightens me.

And it also frightens me that I'm feeling all these things for each of you. Because I don't think I could choose, and I know that's wrong. And I'm a sinner and a harlot for the thought of it but,-" You began to rant only to be cut off by Steve's finger on your lips. 

"Breathe, Y/N." He chuckled lightly. "What you're talking about does not make you a sinner or a harlot."

"On the contrary, what you're proposing is something we would be more than okay with," Bucky told you. "The three of us are already in a committed relationship, and we've been talking about asking you to join us."

"What?" You whispered.

"Y/N, I know this is very different from the teachings of your time, but what your discussing is normal now. Men can be with men, women with women, and multiple people can be in a relationship." Sam explained to you.

"Were you kidding about me joining you?" You asked, looking between the three men who all smiled at you.

"Not at all," Sam said, and suddenly he was leaning towards you. Just as his lips were about to connect with yours, there was a loud whirring noise above your heads.

"What is that?" You yelled above the noise.

"I think it's our team!" Steve yelled back as a jet landed in the clearing. You watched apprehensively as a door opened, and two women and three men exited the quinjet.

"You're alive!" An older man cheered, swaggering forward. 

"How did you find us?" Steve asked as the four of you stood to greet them, you sticking to Sam's side.

"Tony hacked into a lot of satellites." The redheaded woman said, embracing Bucky, then Steve stopping as she spotted you. "Who's your friend, boys?"

"This is Y/N." Sam introduced. "She's the only reason any of us are alive. Y/N, this is Natasha."

"It's very nice to meet you." You greeted, sticking your hand out to the woman. 

"Thank you for keeping our friends alive," Natasha said, shaking your hand firmly.

"No trouble at all."

"With these three? I doubt it." One man snickered, receiving a smack to the arm from the other girl. "What do you three say? Are you ready to return to the real world?"

You shared a look with your boys at this. 

"Your lady friend can come too if she wants." The first man offered.

"I appreciate the offer, but I can't leave the woods." You smiled weakly at him.

"Huh?" A blond man said, scrunching his eyebrows at you.

"She's bound to the land," Bucky explained. 

"She's a Dryad. Her soul is connected with a specific tree here." Steve added. "She can't leave it."

"It's okay, boys. Go." You told them. "Others need you more than I do."

"But Y/N," Sam started. "We don't care about them, not as much as we care about you."

"Sam, you need to go. All of you. You save the world. It needs you more than you think. If you were to stay here and something were to happen that you could have fixed, I would feel guilty. And so would you. You have to go home."

"We'll come back and visit," Steve said after a minute. "All the time."

"Steve, you actually want to leave?" Bucky asked him, surprised.

"No, I don't want to, but we have to. We all know it." Steve reasoned with his partners.

"We'll visit every month. We'll be here so often you'll want us to leave." Sam promised you.

"I don't think I could ever get mad at you." You said, hugging each one of the men before pushing them towards their friends. "Go. Save the world."

"We'll be back. We promise." They said as they boarded the jet. You waved as the door closed and it began to make loud noises once more.

"It's not like I'll be going anywhere."

 We can all see what you're doing, young one.  Your tree said as you deposited another pile of blackberries in your home.

“Getting ready to make another berry spread? Yes.” You nodded.

You’re not fooling any of us, young one. You’re in pain, you just won’t admit it. 

It had been four days since your boys had had to go back home. And you had been doing anything and everything you could to keep your mind off them.

“I miss them.” You sighed, sitting on the ground. “I miss them so much.”

It is understandable. You love them but they promised to return, that is something.

“It is.” You nodded, leaning your back on the wood. “I hope they come back soon.”

The sun had shifted another place in the sky when you heard the loud rumbling of a jet. At first you merely watched but as it began to land you rushed to your feet to greet them.

“I missed you!” You sighed, throwing yourself into Bucky’s arms

“We missed you too, doll.” Bucky said as Sam stole you into his arms.

“It’s so good to see you, Y/N.” Sam said, squeezing you gently before passing you to Steve who also enveloped you in his arms.

“What are you all doing here? Not that I’m mad but it’s only been four days.” You said, pulling back from them.

“I know but it took us four days to come up with this and get in contact with these two.” Bucky said, gesturing to the two men behind you.

“Y/N, this is Loki and Thor. They’ve agreed to help you if you want them to.” Steve introduced you.

“How can you help me?” You asked, cocking your head to the side.

“We cannot unbind you from your tree but we can move it.” Thor informed you. “My brother will preform a stasis charm and it will put both you and the tree into a state of sleep.”

“This will allow us to move you and your tree back to the compound. You can come with us. See the outside world again.” Sam told you.

“Are you kidding me?”

“No. This is real, if you want it, you can come with us.” Steve said. 

“So what do you say, baby doll? Will you come home with us?”

“Yes!” You cheered, pulling Steve, who was the closest to you, down to your height and kissing him passionately. You quickly did the same to Sam and Bucky before hugging the both Thor and Loki. “Thank you! Thank you so much for this!”

“It is no hardship.” Thor assured you, patting your back gently.

“Come on, doll. Let’s get to your tree and get you two home.”

Non-reader POV

“Y/N! Are you out here?” Sam called as he, Steve and Bucky entered the wooded area of the compound. 

The four of them had been together for three years and they were all incredibly happy together. Y/N had left a note for the boys in their shared room reading merely come find me.

“Oh doll!” Bucky called as they closed in on her tree. “Where are you?” 

“Boo!” Y/N cheered, jumping from a branch onto Steve’s back. “I win.” She smiled at Sam and Bucky.

“You sure do, doll.” Bucky chuckled, taking Y/N down from Steve’s back. “What’s going on, doll?”

“Well, I’m not sure if you remembered, but it’s been three years since we met, give or take a week and I’ve decided we have to celebrate.” Y/N smiled. “So I made us a picnic and it’s up there.” She pointed to her treehouse.

“What did we do to deserve you?” Sam asked, pulling her closer to kiss her.

“Do you want my list?” She teased as they pulled apart. “I’m kidding! Now come on, the foods getting cold!”

The four stayed in Y/N’s tree for the rest of the night and well into the next day. The tree that was more responsible for their relationship than anyone admitted.

Remember all Taglists are open as are requests.

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[valkyrieskwad]

i put a spell on you (because you're mine)

ao3

hi all! here’s the contribution i made to @supercorpzine​ this year!! it was a blast getting to work with so many talented people. hope it brought a little light to everyone’s 2020, we can sure use it.

__

Kara Danvers has an awful habit of making Lena feel like she's falling apart.

It's a familiar sentiment in some ways—as a struggling nineteen-year-old witch, Lena's grown accustomed to falling apart over the simplest things about her magic, about learning spells and potions and figuring out her own identity enough to do incantations with any real meaning—but the way she falls apart about Kara feels different.

Maybe it's because they live in the same apartment, or because they finish each other's sentences and have the same taste in music and food and old English literature. Maybe it's because they spend their weekends getting lost in the aisles of antique bookstores, smiling too big as the dust collects in their hair, getting too excited about old newspaper clippings used as bookmarks stuffed between browning pages.

Maybe it's because Kara spends two hours every day meticulously looking after their house plants, chatting to them about her day with her golden-blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, and the sun bouncing off of her sharp blue eyes.

Maybe it's because Lena's in love with her, because she's absolutely hopeless for Kara, and she couldn't snap out of it even if she wanted to.

The two of them are like tree trunks planted right next to each other: separate roots and branches, but grafting together in the middle, growing taller and taller into something too intertwined to be anything other than inseparable.

-

"I was thinking of leaving," Kara whispers one night, completely out of the blue. It's late and they're on the couch, snuggled together underneath their quilted blanket—the first one they ever made together, decorated with different colored owls. Lena's eyes feel heavy, but she blinks them open as Kara shifts in closer and adds, "After I graduate, I mean. I feel like there's just so much of the world I still haven't seen yet, you know?"

"Mmm," Lena hums, but then it all catches up to her and she opens her mouth to say, "Oh," sucking in a deep breath and swallowing past the lump suddenly growing in her throat. "What do you feel like you haven't seen?"

"I haven't seen anything," Kara sighs, and it's like her words burn for some reason, etching hot across Lena's skin like a freshly inked tattoo. 

Lena feels like she's seen everything living here. She feels so in tune with the land around her, that she hasn't really thought of being anywhere else for a while now. Southern Oregon may not be the most interesting part of the country, but it's the only place that Lena's ever found a sense of community. It's the only place she's ever felt like she can be queer and a witch and magical and accepted. It's the only place she's ever felt a part of something larger than herself without feeling like she's being completely drowned out.

It's where she met Kara. It's where she fell in love. It's where she wants to stay.

"I didn't mean it that way," Kara says a few seconds later. "I just, I hear you and Andrea talking about all the things you've seen, and I feel like I want to see those things, too. I feel like I'm missing out on the world. Just being here."

There's a too-long pause that settles over them, but Lena eventually finds her voice to say, "If you want to see the world, I think you should," and then she tries not to think about what that means for them.

-

There are two things Lena remembers from her very first junior-witches potions class: 1) the first time she met Andrea and the way she smiled as she told Lena about solstice festivals and candle magic, about crystals and La Virgen and her immeasurable love for Santa Muerte, and 2) how serious the professor's face looked when she said, "Under no circumstances should you ever make a love potion."

They were nine years old, and the idea of a love potion made them both giggle and roll their eyes, adding more ingredients to their boiling pot as Andrea went back to talking about bonfires and spiced cider, evergreen and mistletoe and clove-spiked apples and oranges. 

If anyone had asked her back then, Lena would have said she'd never make a love potion.

"But Santa Muerte would accept you even if you did," Andrea had said.

Lena remembers that too.

-

She thinks about that when she does decide to make a love potion, when her head keeps spinning because Kara said she wants to leave, and Lena knows she wants to stay. She thinks about it as she adds each ingredient, whispering over and over that if she loses Kara, she'll lose herself too, like it's liturgical almost, an incantation, her way of broadcasting her strongest intention so the spell can get it right and Kara can love her, and they can stay here together, happily, forever.

She thinks about it when she decides the love potion is a bad idea, when she hides it in the back of the fridge because even if Santa Muerte will still accept her, she's not sure she'll be able to accept herself.

It's a tough decision, but it's the right one.

So, she pushes it to the back of her mind, tells herself it'll all be okay, and then she tries to sleep as best as she can.

-

She doesn't expect her world to end when she gets home the next day, when Kara meets her at the door and takes a deep breath, sighs, smiles, clears her throat, twiddling her fingers together as she says, "Sorry, but I might have eaten your stew in the fridge."

"Excuse me, what?" Lena asks, letting her backpack clunk to the floor, taking several deep, deep calming breaths before she asks, "My stew?"

"Yes," Kara says slowly, cheeks pinking up. "I'm sorry, I was just. Hungry. But it was delicious if that makes a difference."

Lena can't breathe. "The one in the back of the fridge?"

"Yes," Kara says again, blushing even harder, and heat floods through Lena so fast it suddenly feels like she's drowning. "The one in the glass Tupperware that was hidden behind the milk. The thing you always do with the food you don't want me to eat." 

"Why'd you eat it, then?" Lena whispers.

"I don't know," Kara admits. "But if you give me the recipe, I'm sure I could make it for you again. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay," Lena tells her, heart pounding, head swirling, because Kara looks hopeful and beautiful and Lena doesn't know how to tell her how much she royally messed up, how that stew shouldn't have been in the fridge in the first place, how it's written in the preface of 86% of spellbooks to never make a love potion, let alone leave one lying around. "I was just going to throw it out, anyway," she adds with a smile.

 She's pretty sure her life is over.

-

"I think I did something not good," Lena announces, and Andrea closes her book as she looks up at Lena, eyes glinting like she knows this is a big enough deal to warrant her undivided attention. This is, in fact, that serious. As a Scorpio sun Libra Venus, Lena absolutely hates complicated, messy situations, and this is as messy and complicated as it gets. "I need to talk to you about it."

"What kind of not good?" Andrea asks immediately.

"It’s not like, the end of the world, but it actually is the end of the world. I made a love potion that Kara ingested on accident, and I'm freaking out," Lena explains, shoulders inching their way to her ears as a blush inches its way across her cheeks. "I think I'm in trouble."

"Holy crap," Andrea mouths. "That's not good."

"Yeah, you're telling me," Lena groans, then she plops down on the couch next to Andrea and sighs, scuffing her shoe against the old wood of the apartment floor. "I don't think she even knows we're witches."

"What do you mean?" Andrea asks, leaning over so she's knocking shoulders with Lena. "I'm sure she's pieced it together by now."

"Yeah, maybe," Lena frowns. "But I'm pretty sure she thinks we're witches, but not witches. You know, the ones who make lavender salve and herbal tea and talk about tarot readings and natal charts. The ones who carry crystals around and garden and do candle magic without ever really knowing if it works."

"We are those kinds of witches," Andrea points out.

"Okay, yes, but we also do real magic, and we know it works. Crap," Lena groans, leaning forward and pressing her face into her palms. "How did this happen? I could get suspended from doing magic and lose Kara as a friend."

"Hey, it was an accident," Andrea reassures her, draping herself over Lena's back to hug around her. "I'm sure if you talk to her, you can fix this. It'll be okay, I promise. You'll be okay."

"I'll be okay," Lena repeats, and then she keeps saying it in her head until she feels like she believes it.

-

"A love potion?" Kara asks, and she's decidedly not upset. She's not even incredulous. Lena got so antsy she blurted everything out in the middle of making dinner, right after she dropped the colander three times and couldn't focus to save her life because she was so freaking flustered. So now Kara's standing next to a half-minced onion, slowly blinking her eyes with her arms folded across her chest, and she's... smiling. "You made a love potion?" she asks again, like this whole thing is funny and Lena's not falling apart. "Who'd you make it for?"

"I - well, I made it," Lena starts to say, then she takes a deep, sputtering breath, rolls her eyes, and huffs, "Who else would I have made it for?"

"Me?"

Lena sighs. "Yes, you. Because - well, because I want you to stay, but also because. I don't know," she finishes lamely. Then she takes in a long breath, presses her nails against her palm, and just says it, almost too quiet, but she's overwhelmed and feels dizzy. "Because I'm in love with you."

"I wasn't going to leave you behind," Kara says instantly, and Lena feels a bit relieved she just ignored the whole love thing. "I mean, I want to explore the world with you, it just - it came out wrong when I said it, and I got too nervous to fix it. But I always want to be with you. I want to go everywhere with you. You feel like home to me."

"Oh," Lena whispers. She was expecting a lot of things, but that wasn't one of them. Not those words, not phrased that way. She didn't expect Kara to just say that. "What are you saying?" she asks, just to clarify, looking down at her hands and trying her best to hide how flushed she feels.

Kara responds by taking a step forward, and then another, sucking in a nervous, shaky breath, and then she's leaning forward and kissing Lena—on the cheek at first, and then the corner of her mouth, and then she pulls away.

"I'm saying I already loved you," she says, stepping in even closer, filling Lena's space with so much comfort and love and warmth, that Lena feels a little like melting. "I'm also saying," Kara stretches out, and Lena can sense she's smiling before she looks up to see it, eyes latching on to Kara's too-pink lips, perfect and glistening even in the dim, 50-watt kitchen lighting. She's so pretty it's incomprehensible sometimes. "I didn't actually eat the stew. I sort of dropped it on the floor, but I thought it'd be better if I said—"

"Kara," Lena gushes out, like a reflex, like a breath of fresh air, like Kara's the most frustrating person she's ever met in her life. "You're kidding."

"I'm not," Kara says, smiling wider, then she fits her hands on Lena's waist, and Lena swallows, cheeks burning with both nerves and anticipation, and happiness.

Her brain is still stuck on the fact that she wasn't expecting this when Kara kisses her again, on the lips this time, but that doesn't stop her from closing her eyes, from pressing up and opening her mouth and kissing back until she's breathless.

"God, a love potion," Kara laughs, right against Lena's mouth, and then she goes back to kissing her again.

[rukakikuchi]

Dreamcatcher Ultimate Timeline theory - Everything is connected

Dreamcatcher has had a lot of interesting storylines with their releases. From the "Nightmare" series which ran from debut all the way to "Piri" (or "Breaking Out" depending on how you view it), to their "Dystopia" trilogy, and even their one off game collaborations.

However, are those game collab MVs really stand alone? Do they play a bigger part in the lore of Dreamcatcher's videography? And does the "Dystopia" trilogy have some connections to the "Nightmare" series? This is a question that has been asked by many.

Personally, I always regarded each storyline as being separate and self contained within their respective narratives. But recently, that's begun to change.

As pointed out in a video by "Sua's SinB" on Youtube, during a VLive, SuA said that the "Nightmare book" which appeared in "Good Night" was one of the most important objects in the lore. We haven't seen the book since "What", so how is the book important to the lore as a whole in regards to subsequent releases?

That's when they pointed out the symbols called "witch glyphs" on one of the pages shown in "Good Night", how it relates to each member, and how it connects the music videos together.

That got me thinking about everything we had seen, from certain dynamics between members' characters, reoccurring scenes or symbols, and even my own past theories. And while the idea that all of Dreamcatcher's MVs are connected isn't a new theory, I'd like to put my own spin on it and give my own personal perspective on what exactly is happening.

To do that, before heading into my full breakdown on the possible timeline, I'd like to give three main points.

1. "Scream" is the beginning of *everything*.

2. JiU and Yoohyeon have parallel/intertwined fates.

3. The girls are being reincarnated all across the timeline.

~~~

Birth of evil

The music video for "Scream" is where we see the catalyst for the creation of Dystopia. In the very first frame, we learn that the light had disappeared and people forgot how to say good things.

However, looking at a broader scale, I believe what we see happen in "Scream" also serves as a precursor to everything that happens across the timeline, not just for the "Dystopia" trilogy, but also the "Nightmare" series and the game collabs (Deja Vu and Rose Blue).

In my previous analysis, I pointed out how Gahyeon was the one who released the evil spirit that corrupted the tree of language and created Dystopia. To me, this feels similar to the story of Pandora's Box.

The world was a paradise, but after Pandora opened the box, evil was unleashed. Gahyeon in "Scream", whether she was tempted by the evil spirit or chose to on her own, had unleashed the curse that could corrupt people's hearts and spread evil, much like Pandora.

Because she did this, Gahyeon faces many hardships in her next lives after "Scream", as a form of karmic punishment for releasing the evil into the world. She was one of the first to be corrupted by the nightmare curse in "Fly High", gets captured by the nightmare twice in "Good Night" (her falling endlessly) and "Piri" (the hand grabbing her and being trapped in a dark room), being suffocated in "Breaking Out", and becoming a target of hateful words in "Boca" and "Odd Eye".

With that in mind, and the supposed time period that "Scream" appears to take place in, I believe that this is the true starting point of Dreamcatcher's world view.

~~~

The sun and the moon

The next part of the major storyline is "Deja Vu". This music video highlights one of the major dynamics in Dreamcatcher's videos; JiU and Yoohyeon.

They are frequently seen together, and seem to display a yin and yang dynamic. Good and evil, light and dark... The moon (JiU) and the sun (Yoohyeon).

Going back to "Sua's SinB"'s analysis, in one of the pages from the "Nightmare book", there are symbols called "witch glyphs" visible. Considering that they are called "witch glyphs", and we see the girls performing witchcraft in some of the MVs, as well as adding my personal theory that the members are a witch coven in "Scream", then perhaps the witches were the ones who created the book.

Now onto the glyphs themselves. They have specific meanings and seem to be tied to each of the members. And guess what JiU and Yoohyeon's glyphs were.

JiU's was a combination of "moon" and "mirror", and Yoohyeon's was "light" or "sun". Because their links represent duality of day and night, and the moon reflects the sun's light like a mirror, this means JiU and Yoohyeon are deeply connected.

However, in "Deja Vu", Yoohyeon gets corrupted by the evil that was released in "Scream" and betrays JiU and all her friends. She was selfish; she wanted power. That made her heart become vulnerable to the evil's influence and she ultimately betrayed everyone, left alone in a kingdom of ruin.

This, once again, turns into a sort of karmic destiny that influences JiU and Yoohyeon's next lives. JiU is trying to save Yoohyeon, but Yoohyeon keeps falling victim to the evil's influence in some way, or is punished for her own mistakes. Yoohyeon is in a constant struggle with her own inner darkness, her inner evil.

However, JiU might have a similar issue that she is running away from rather than confronting it. In "Fly High" and "Piri", we see instances of two JiU's being shown together. However, when JiU sees her doppelganger, she runs away from them.

Let's look at JiU's witch glyph again. It represents the moon and a mirror. The moon doesn't just reflect the light of the sun. There is a dark side, the back of the moon, that isn't shown. Likewise, a mirror can represent two sides of a person. Their shadow to their light; another self inside oneself. Perhaps JiU is afraid of facing this other self, her own inner shadow.

~~~

The endless cycle

The last main point to discuss before heading into the full breakdown of my timeline theory is the idea that all of the girls are being reincarnated multiple times throughout the timeline.

One thing I kept coming back to was the butterfly. Much like how Yoohyeon is closely linked with the spider, JiU is closely linked to the butterfly. We saw them in "Fly High", "Deja Vu", and "Rose Blue". And remember what's something butterflies symbolize? That's right, rebirth.

With each music video, in each story line, we see the girls in a constant struggle of overcoming some form of "evil". In some cases, they became separated or succumbed to the "evil".

Be it nightmares, a dystopian world, or even each other, they were trapped in a never-ending cycle of hardships and pain because of the evil that had escaped into the world.

With all this in mind, let's look at this timeline, from the very beginning...

Scream:

The world is a utopia, full of light and goodness. This world is protected by a group of goddesses, who share a deep connection to a tree called "the tree of language". When people say good things, the tree bears white fruit, but when people say bad things, it bears black fruit. The goddesses protect the balance of good and evil within utopia.

Living in this utopia is a coven of seven (yes, Handong was absent during "Scream" and "Boca", but I'll still be referring to them as seven) witches called "Dreamcatcher" who possess powerful magic. They help the goddesses tend to and protect the tree of language.

One day, however, a young girl who was a friend to the witches died. Left in a vulnerable state due to her sadness, one of the witches (Gahyeon) heard a voice call out to her from the tree. There, she found a strange crystal that resonated a powerful energy.

However, when she touched the crystal, it shattered before her eyes. This released a powerful evil into the world that corrupted the tree and spread into the hearts of many people in utopia. The light vanished and people forgot how to say good things, causing the tree to bear more and more black fruit.

The witches tried to fight the spreading evil, but ultimately became consumed by it and were separated. Now the witches' souls became cursed as an inner evil was born in each of them.

Deja Vu:

Years later, in a grand kingdom, a group of seven friends are having a dinner party. However, inside of one of them, there grew a fruit of evil. Yoohyeon had a selfish desire for power. Even if she had to betray her dear friends, she wanted to obtain power.

So, she killed her friend, JiU the princess, and took control of the throne. She betrayed all of her friends, and was left all alone, haunted by the memories of her biggest mistake.

Fly High:

Time passes, and the knowledge of magic, witches, and curses is long forgotten from human memory. Seven school friends live together in a boarding school manor, spending their days together in peace. One day, one of the girls, JiU, finds a spider while everyone is playing outside. She feels a strong connection to it, a sense of protection.

However, unbeknownst to her, one of her friends, Yoohyeon kills it for fun, because she has selfishness in her heart. The death of the spider caused a curse to be released and come after the girls, one by one.

The curse drew out an inner evil from each girl and corrupted them slowly by feeding off their deepest fears. To stop the curse from escaping into the world, JiU locked the gates to the manor.

With help from Siyeon, SuA finds the book of nightmares, written by a coven of witches from long ago, the Dreamcatchers.

Chase Me + Good Night:

Now, JiU and her friends have become nightmares, trapped in another plane of reality. In this world, they are like ghosts, and can only interact with people through haunting their dreams. One day, a young man starts investigating these girls and trying to capture them. He is a ghost hunter.

He finds a book full of strange text and pictures. It is the book of nightmares that was found by SuA. Using the book, he traps two of the girls in their worst nightmares, and chases after two more.

Three of the girls manage to retrieve the book and free their friends, trapping the man in the nightmare world so they can return to reality. In the process, however, they lose the nightmare book, never to be found again.

You and I:

The girls continue their peaceful days together at a photography studio. However, there are still remnants of evil within them, as Siyeon is seen burning a photo. Then, Yoohyeon sees a woman who transforms into a spider and attacks her. She is the spider queen, and she took revenge on Yoohyeon who killed the spider that was meant to protect the girls from the nightmare curse.

Now Yoohyeon's soul is trapped in the dreamworld again. JiU and her friends perform a ritual to try and save her, but are unsuccessful. Yoohyeon remains in a deep slumber, stuck in the nightmare realm once again.

What + Piri / Breaking Out:

JiU and the others begin having strange, lucid dreams. Yoohyeon has been trying to reach out to them while still trapped in the nightmare realm. JiU sees Yoohyeon in her dream, since she has the strongest connection to her out of all the members.

Eventually, the girls reach the nightmare realm to save Yoohyeon. They come face to face with their greatest fears and overcome them one by one to reunite with Yoohyeon. After they reunited, they free themselves from the nightmare and return to the real world, together again.

Boca:

After confronting their inner demons, the girls start to realize how the world they're in is full of evil people that hurt the lives of others through harmful words. They lead a movement to shut the mouths of those who spread hate, which helps the goddesses purify the tree of language. However, they are also made a target for slander.

Rose Blue:

Far in the future, a strange crystal traps the souls of six friends in a dreamlike state. JiU, the leader of the group, realizes what's going on and breaks out of the illusion to save her friends. She wields a gun which can help her friends break free from the dream. However, she only has five bullets.

When she re-enters the illusion realm, she faces her friends and her sister, Gahyeon. Holding back tears as her sister reaches out, she shoots the gun. She freed all of her friends, but had no bullets left to save herself, becoming trapped in the crystal as her friends reawaken in the real world.

Odd Eye:

Now, further in the future, technology has taken control of everyone's lives. The advancement of technology and social media causes hate and evil to spread more rapidly across the world, further corrupting the tree of language more than ever before.

The goddesses watch on as their hope of finding their paradise, utopia, fades away. Because in the end, the Dreamcatchers who overcame many hardships, could never find the utopia they once dreamed of.

+++

And that concludes this theory! Hope you all enjoyed it! Honestly, I can't wait to see what kind of storyline Dreamcatcher will choose to do next. Whatever they decide, no doubt it will be awesome!

Feel free to share your own thoughts and theories! Until then... Sweet dreams! 🌙✨

[wouldpollyapprove]

I’m Not Like Her: Part 2

Summary:  Y/n never thought she’d take a job as a barmaid, but she had to do what she had to do. Fleeing from a mob in Aberdeen, she was willing to do anything to live a peaceful life. And if that meant working for the Shelby’s then so be it. Life was normal until the mob decided to make an appearance in Birmingham, leading Tommy start to believe Y/n wasn’t exactly who she said she was.

Thomas Shelby x reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: language, violence, angst

A/N: I’m considering doing a third part for this, I don’t know why. I’m not sure what I would do but that’s only if you guys want me to. I hope to have a few headcanons out this week, so be looking for those. And I’ll be closing requests sometime this week.

Part One

Masterlist

God only knows how long Y/n sat in misery, tears staining her cheeks. No one cared to look down the alleyway to see a teary-eyed girl, crumpled against between the buildings. They’d all seen it before. For one reason or another, those on the street had caught girls with red puffy eyes, using the alley to shield them from the world. So, there Y/n sat, the only one feeling sorry for her was herself. No one cared about her problems, they all had their own. 

The waterworks eventually stopped, their creator dehydrated and tired, and Y/n made her way home, tired of the filth surrounding her. The sun was starting to set and wind blew violently through the streets, a warning of an upcoming storm. She gave no mind to the weather, eyes to the ground, as the events of the last 24 hours played on repeat in her head. Looking back, there was little that could’ve been done to prevent any of it. If she’d been honest from the beginning about her life in Scotland, Tommy wouldn’t trust her just as he didn’t at that moment. Nothing could save her from that outcome. Truth nor lies could bring her peace.

Rain pounded the ground before she was halfway home. Those still on the street set a quicker pace, trying to keep from getting soaked, using newspapers and coats to shield themselves. Not Y/n, though. No, she let the water drowned out her surroundings, soaking her hair and clothes. There was no reason to rush home as it was. 

Even miserable, she couldn’t help but smile when a long-forgotten memory resurfaced. 

It was years ago, in Aberdeen, right after Roger had taken over his father’s company and all his time was spent at his office. The man had finally been able to find time to escape the clutches of business and out of the blue took Y/n on a picnic. When he wanted, Roger could be a romantic, a side few got to see, it was his best side. Up a hill, they went, near a pond surrounded by willows. The two watched ducks swim between reeds as they munched on their food until rain fell from the dangerously dark clouds above.

A shriek left Y/n’s lips when it started to come down in buckets. “We’ll never make it to the car unscathed,” she shouted and tried to pick up their plates.

Roger was already on his feet, love in his eyes. “Then how ‘bout ya dance with me?” A hand extended to his partner.

“I’d love to.” A bright smile on her lips as she took his hand, using him to help her up.

Only fools in love would dance in the rain, but neither cared how foolish they looked. Lovers rarely cared about anything but each other, the title of fool never crossed their mind. They danced, without music, to the beat of the rain. In that moment, they were the only two in the world, their problems washed away in the rain that.

If only there was someone to dance with her on the streets of Small Heath. Take away her pain and love her like a fool. Spin her around, step to the memory of any waltz that came to mind. But all alone she stood, soaked to the bone, as she trudged home. There was no love in this rainstorm, only misery. 

In the safety of her home, Y/n didn’t bother to rid herself of her wet clothes. They were like a second skin at that point. She’s lost the chill feeling that set in during rain, numb to everything but her aching heart. Like a lost dog, she wandered around the house, seeking nothing in particular. Walking through the kitchen, she opened the fridge, nothing caught her eyes so she shut the door. In the parlor, all the books had already been read and there was never anything interesting on the radio. Her bedroom held nothing of interest. She wasn’t tired, didn’t want to change her clothes, didn’t want to do anything. She couldn’t sit in fear that her sorrows would drown her.

Like a ghost, she was on a loop, cycling through the three rooms. Each time, hoping something would catch her eye, pull her in. Nothing ever did.

And then there came a bang at the door.

Violent and demanding, again and again someone hit the wood. That was enough to pull her out of the trance she’d been in. Eyes wide in fear, Y/n stood in the threshold between the kitchen and parlor, uncertain if she should approach the door. First, she assumed it was merely thunder that struck the street outside, but it didn’t let up. Bang after bang, it continued. It was no thunder. It was a person, she had concluded, but there were no voices, no traces of who could be on the other side. She was certain that if it was someone she knew they would make themselves known. 

Before she could make a move, a brutal force caused the door to swing open, hitting the wall on the other side. A scream was lodged in her throat as her eyes locked with the man who stood where the door had been. Tall and muscular, his green eyes glowed in rage. A smile that could have been friendly in a different light made him look like a predator after capturing its prey. Swallowing down her scream, Y/n realized how much like prey she looked. Cornered, small, pale, alone.

The perfect meal.

“No wonder Roger would kill for you,” the man snickered, eyes scanning her body. A shaky breath parted her lips, wishing she could curl up in a ball. The stranger’s intent was unclear, but she knew it wasn’t friendly.

Hands shaking, Y/n clasped them together, intertwining her fingers. “Whatever Roger did, it’s doesn’t involve me.” The words, meant to be confident and strong, came out meek and earned a laugh from her intruder.

He moved from the door, taking in his new surrounding. “I don’t believe that’s how that works, darling.” In the blink of an eye, he stood before her. Damn his long legs. Y/n sucked in a breath, urging her body to move, react. It failed her, doing nothing. “Roger will know better next time.” A rough hand grasped her jaw and pulled her close, a bruise already forming from the force. “And he will not forget this.”

Neither would Y/n when the man walked out the door, his name never learned, as her body shook, blood running down her cheek. Dazed, she made her way to the bathroom. A glance at the mirror in front of her, she saw the bruises that littered her skin from being thrown around the room, cuts from knives or rings. Y/n was no helpless girl, Roger taught her how to defend herself, but she was no match for the giant that had done all that. She was a mouse compared to that man. 

There was no winning that fight. 

Y/n didn’t tell Roger, didn’t bother calling picking up the phone. She cleaned herself up, wiping the dry blood from her damaged skin, and threw her torn clothes in the corner of the bathroom. It was better to pretend the assault had never happened than let Roger back into her life. Seeing him once for a few fleeting moments was good enough for her. There was no need to give him an excuse to stay around. 

So, for a few days, Y/n stayed holed up in her apartment. There was enough food in the fridge to last her a while and enough money saved up to last her a few month’s rent. There was no need to search for a job when she looked like the apples at the fruit stand people never bought. 

Peace, or what was closest to it, settled over her as Y/n spent her time baking and reading. Anything to distract her. But that couldn’t last, now could it? Not when the telephone in the parlor rang and she foolishly picked it up.

“Hello.”

“You need to come pick up your paycheck,” Harry told her, no kindness in his voice. Tommy clearly hadn’t kept his mouth shut about what he thought she was. A backstabber.

She sighed and played with the hem of her apron. “Can’t someone drop it off?” Her question was answered with a ‘no’. “Why not?”

“Tommy said you have to pick it up yourself.”

The line fell silent before another word could be said. Y/n groaned at the thought of walking through those pub doors again. She was smart enough to know that the whole Shelby family would probably be there to greet her, shove money in her hands, and tell her get the fuck out of Birmingham. 

“What a fucking week,” she muttered as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She didn’t want to leave. Not because of some misunderstanding.

Clean clothes paired with freshly done hair, Y/n left her house to retrieve her paycheck. The walk was stressful, she wore a hat to conceal what her hair couldn’t, but she feared it wasn’t enough. There were no prying eyes, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel watched, ashamed from even stepping out the front door.

Finally upon her destination, she stared at the doors. A lamb to the slaughter, that’s what she felt like. She’d been kicked one too many times while down to feel like a lion. Like any animal that could stand upon another in victory. She was the field the mouse that ran from the hawk. The fly that flew straight into the spider’s web. The lamb that couldn’t escape slaughter. With all the courage she could muster, that being an ounce, Y/n took a deep breath and entered the pub, trying to forget about the lamb.

All conversations died when she stepped foot in the room, all eyes turned to her. There was no way she could meet anyone’s eyes, not when she knew what they thought of her. Tommy was against the bar, more focused on his drink than her, while his family threw looks of disgust at her. Not that she blamed any of them.

“I’m here for my paycheck.”

Polly rolled her eyes from where she sat at a booth with Esme. “Don’t know why you’d want to step foot in here now that we know what you are.”

“I asked her here, Pol,” Tommy told his aunt as he lite a cigarette. That earned him a groan from her, she was tired of his behavior when it came to women. 

“I just want my paycheck,” she announced to the room. “Give it to me and I’ll leave. You’ll never have to-”

“Why?” Tommy interrupted her.

“Why what?”

“Why’d you do it? Why’d you talk to Roger?”

It was hard to bite back her laughter, a bit of it spilling between her teeth and out her lips. “He talked to me, Tommy, not that you cared to ask though. Him and I used to be something, but that was a long time ago. But I guess I don’t owe you any explanation as to why I was talking with him because you never cared to ask before,” she sneered and brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

Though it was a small piece, it was enough to expose a bruised patch of skin on her jaw and upper cheek. Once full of disgust, everyone’s eyes softened. Perhaps it was a mixture of her bitter words and her damaged appearance, but it shifted the mood of the room. 

Tommy’s blue orbs, once ice-cold, warmed with concern. He stepped towards her out of instinct, “Who did this to you?” he asked, hand hovering by her cheek. He was desperate to touch her, feel her warm skin, and melt into her, but fear of rejection kept him from her. 

She shrugged, the shame from the walk over boiled away from anger. “Doesn’t matter,” Y/n waved the question off. “It’s not your problem anymore.”

“Like hell it isn’t!” He threw his arms in the air, any thought of his family being in the room vanished. “Who did this?” He demanded.

Y/n couldn’t meet his eyes, instead, taking in the pub’s walls she’d looked at almost every day. They hadn’t changed, but they didn’t have eyes that could gaze into the soul, nor lips that could crush the heart. Walls, that’s all they were. Nothing but wood, nails, and paint. They could do no harm. 

Perhaps the shame hadn’t gone away.

It sat dormant for a while as she felt like a lion, but once again she had become the mouse. The answer wasn’t one to fear, it was rather simple actually, but that wasn’t what kept it from her tongue. More than anything, she feared Tommy’s reaction. With the flip of a switch he could become a violent monster and she didn’t want to see that. She didn’t want to know the things he would do, the things he was capable of.

“Y/n,” his voice soft like honey pulled her gaze to him. She said nothing as his arms wrapped around her in an embrace. It was only minutes ago that he wanted nothing to do with her. “I should’ve talked to you instead of sent you away,” he whispered in her ear, hand rubbing her back. “I’m sorry for that. Now, please-” Tommy pulled away to see her face, the bruise on her jaw along with other small cuts clearly visible. “-tell me who did this?”

Not one for displays of affections, Y/n wanted to relish in the embrace for as long as she could. There was no telling when the man would do something like that again. But she knew that answer had to be given. “Someone Roger fucked over,” she muttered. “I don’t know his name, but none of that matters.”

A gentle finger lifted her chin, softer than the one that’d bruised her days before. “It does matter. Now, let’s get you a cup of tea and we’ll talk like we should have in the first place.”

*~~*~~*

Let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist.

Regular Taglist: @amirahiddleston @haphazardhufflepuff @woahitslucyylu @mzcrazy2 @lovemissyhoneybee @multi-fandom-iimagines @tarafaithe @jenepleurepasbaby @fernweh-fangirl @the-anxious-youth @theshelbyclan @wtfdanness @chloeforde @futuristicslimemongerbanana @lucillethings @nemesis729 

Thomas Shelby Taglist: @captivatedbycillianmurphy

[greaterspawnislands]

the shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn | of the seed and the sickle

their first meeting

(or, hades and persephone, i suppose that’s one way to look at it)

links in the notes/reblogs :) 

In the center of a valley, past evergreen trees that border a rushing, bubbling river, past tall, spindly aspen trees with leaves that are just starting to turn sunset shades of orange and yellow, is a small farmhouse. Bordered by fields with crops ready for harvest and the forest beyond, the idyllic house crafted of spruce and stone sits alone. The dwelling is still and silent, save for one restless being, who stands at the kitchen window and stares at the stars.

Phil exhales lightly from the counter, fingers tapping alone the smooth-cut stone. The house is quiet. Tommy is fast asleep, the nine-year-old tired out from another day of running through fields and forests on another adventure. Wilbur, not much older at thirteen, is just as tuckered out from keeping up with the younger blond, though whether he's actually asleep or using the moonlight to read books by is hardly Phil's concern.

Humans exist to fail by trial and error, after all, by consequence or natural progression. In the end it doesn't matter in the slightest, as mortal lifespans pass in the blink of an eye. Little changes from one life to the next, absolutely unchanging when it comes to books read by moonlight and heavy eyes refusing to sleep.

Children learn, and change, and learn, and change, and die.

Phil sighs again, wings fluttering behind him with a never-ending restlessness. His mind is a cycle of endless, meaningless thoughts that swirl like the clouds in the sky above him, parting briefly to reveal unconnected constellations that span across the dark sky.

The kitchen is barely big enough to fit his wingspan but Phil extends his extra limbs anyways, wings trembling as they brush against cabinet doors and pass the open doorway to touch upon the main room. Some of the moonlight catches on his feathers, glossy cream feathers dappled with the floral hues of light green, pink, and blue, the colors of a clear spring sky over a field of campions.

He wants nothing more than to take flight, now, soar until he finds a field exactly like that, but there will be no flowers blooming this late in the year, not without his coaxing. It is the time for deciduous trees to change the colors of their leaves from a summer green to a display of fire without the heat. A burning, brilliant showcase of shades before winter winds sweep in to douse the flames and bring bare branches and bright white snow to cover the ground completely.

Spring can not come early, nor disrupt the flow of the seasons that mortals so desperately rely upon to track the course of their lives until they no longer make it to the next turn of temperature. The Winter-Bringer flies the skies now, with his wings made of dark, opaque ice and endlessly calm disposition, for fall and winter move slowly, relentless yet patient in their arrival. Phil, in great contrast, is scattered and hasty, ready to melt snowdrifts with a flap of his wings at any second to watch bright flowers bloom under his gaze.

He has lived far too many centuries now to try and disrupt this cycle that he and Bad have fallen into, not willing to push his luck with The Balance any more than he does already.

Phil folds his wings and steps outside, pausing carefully to listen for either of his human sons' movements in the dead of night. There is silence, and so he steps outside, shivering as a cool autumn breeze rushes at him from the forest beyond. Hours left until they wake and he can fill another day with the love and care he has set aside for them, but now is no longer that time.

Outside, standing on the porch and looking out over his fields that he coaxed from the earth with careful hands, his fingers twitch. The knife sits in its sheath against his side, and he knows how trivially easy it would be to call upon Technoblade. Centuries ago, now, he could have flown into battle over Techno's head, landing his own blow as the Blood God took what was within his name to do.

Phil held his tongue to keep from cursing out The Balance aloud. It wouldn't give him anything except a visit that would fucking terrify his kids, which is the last thing he wanted. Now, he knows, that when he calls upon Technoblade that all he'll receive is a sorrowful look hidden behind the gentle smile given to the two mortal children who crowd his legs and beg for stories of grandeur and glory.

His wings catch the breeze a little as he steps out into the fields, barefoot, and he flaps them once, twice, watching the grain ripple out like the waves of the ocean. It shimmers, briefly, before settling, and Phil casts his eyes to the skies, wishing for something he can do nothing about except wait for.

Waiting, that's all a god's existence is, these days. Waiting for the moment of allowance when what was within a domain could be used or brought upon the world. Order, it was called. Balance, it was decreed. Chaos, dosed out in controlled segments, punished for being overused on a whim.

Bullshit, Phil sometimes privately thinks, when selfish thoughts crowd his mind.

He reaches the edge of the forest, casting a backwards glance at the house before departing into the treeline, forced to bend his wings to accommodate the interspersed tree trunks and bushes that crowded the forest floor. His fingers snatched leaves from the sky and scooped them up along the forest floor, feeling the cool plant matter against his fingers before he released it back to the rest of the rotting leaves along the floor. A trail of freshly green leaves followed him, from his footsteps and fingertips, turning in wandering circles until he is entirely surrounded by trees that are slowly blossoming to life again underneath his touch. They are the same leaves that thread throughout his hair, an array of flora blossoming along his scalp, intertwining with his blond locks. His coat, too, is made of those same spring-green leaves, shifting in dappled sunlight, sadly stagnant so late at night.

Around him, the animals that haven't already found shelter for slumber scamper across the forest floor, looking for a place undisturbed by a deity and his widespread wings. Crickets chirp in the undergrowth, and a few curious birds flutter along the treetops, wings beating among the leaves as they settle on branches to peer down at him from their perches above.

Soon, Phil stops underneath the stars, a spot where the trees have pulled back from each other just far enough that when he tips his head back, he can see the clouds clearing to display the stars, and when he looks around again, he can see no fields just beyond.

"Oh, shit," Phil mutters aloud, slowly realizing how far into the forest he's walked. "Where the fuck have I wandered to?"

He isn't answered so much as heard by a single crow, hopping down a few branches to perch upon a limb just a few feet taller than him. Phil meets the bird's gaze, and the two winged beings look curiously at each other for a moment, searching for more than what might meet the eye.

The crow takes flight in a blur, brushing right past Phil's cheek in a brush of wing that makes him yelp in surprise, turning his head to follow the crow's movements. "Hey!"

A few paces away, the bird waits on another perch in a different tree, still staring dead in his eyes, head tilted in clear expectancy.

Two more crows join the first, hopping on branches and the knots that jut out from various trunks of aspen trees. Phil continues to follow the first crow even further into the forest, a sense of uneasiness curling within him as more and more birds populate the trees around him, all staring down at him with the exact same inquisitive eyes, staring, watching, waiting.

It would be easy to turn around, or to fly out of here in an instant, back to the safety and stillness of the farmhouse and the two safe children that sleep within it. It would be easy to shake off the curiosity and excitement that mingles with this nervous feeling, to return to a routine of simplicity and ease.

But there is not much that Phil would consider to be beyond his knowing, these days. Now, hundreds of crows stare down at him from the trees that stretch high in the sky, nearly blocking out the orange leaves entirely as their round black bodies press together and their wings fluff out, all identical and yet Phil is certain he knows exactly which crow is the first one to appear to him, the one continuing to hop between branches as he follows, nearly dashing across the forest floor. Even more crows flutter around him as he moves, wings brushing against his own and landing on top of his striped hat or resting on his arm for a moment before taking flight again.

It's overwhelming, it's overbearing, and it's exciting. A wide, wild grin stretches across Phil's face as he spreads his arms, turning and laughing as the crows fly around him in a blur, hiding even the trunks of the trees from him now as he spins with them.

And then they're gone, off in a mass of beating wings and flurrying feathers, and Phil stands at the mouth of a large, dark cave, watching as the murder descends down into the darkness that lies below.

"Wait!" he calls, but the crows do not answer. They move as if they had never pressed their wings close to his cheeks, they move as if direct by something else entirely, they move as one.

Phil analyzes the structure of the cave, the width and angle of descent in a few quick glances. The cave is wide, and he cannot remember if he had been able to see the walls of it before, but when he looks at it again the slope is more than wide enough to accommodate his wingspan, walls consumed with shadow. The calls of the crows are growing fainter, and Phil does not spare a glance back to the forest and what rests outside of it.

His wings snap out, pastel coloring swallowed by dark shadow, and he flies, wings carrying him down in a quick descent as he takes off after the murder of crows who had led him here.

A breathless laugh leaves him as he flies again, wings maneuvering through the wide tunnels and closing to dart between smaller spaces held up by pillars of dirt and stone. He can barely see, and yet instinct takes over, following the distant cries of the crows through turns and tunnels and pausing, once, in a wide open space where a pool of water opens over a great cavern. Phil stays aloft there for a moment, marveling at the dark water he cannot see the bottom of and the ceiling he cannot reach, before taking off after the crows he can still hear, though deep inside him he knows they should be so much farther now, and he knows that they are waiting for him.

The tunnels narrow the more he flies, and soon Phil is struggling to keep his wings from brushing harshly against the sides of the tunnels, wincing as he dives through narrow gaps and struggles to keep aloft. He can no longer hear the crows, but he continues to fly anyways, pushing himself through the ever-narrowing tunnels until he can no longer flap his wings. Phil tumbles to the ground, pulling his wings against his back before standing again, staring at tunnel that waits ahead for him, barely taller than he is, and just as dark as everything before him.

Phil frowns, the sense of adventure draining from him as the mobility of his wings is restricted again. He scoffs lightly, listens out for the crows and hears nothing, and turns to find his way back out again.

The tunnel shakes, and rocks begin to fall around him.

[jooniperhun]

The End of the Rainbow (2)

pairing: tall!black!reader x bts, poc!reader x bts, woc!reader x bts, black!reader x bts

genre: fluff, strangers to friends to (maybe) lovers, romance, comedy, misunderstandings, (slight) angst, smut (maybe??), idol!au

word count: 3.8k

rating: PG-16

warnings: swearing, mentions of anxiety

notes: slight sub! namjoon in here... sorry, it just wrote itself in lol

summary: Your current job as a travelling housesitter has taken you to many places, some strange and many wonderful. When the acquisition of a new client takes you to Korea for three months, you wonder if your self-esteem can survive being around so many other-worldly looking people. Also, not to be paranoid or anything, but maybeperhaps you’re being stalked by the same seven strangers? They’re pretty loud and always surrounded by a tonne of people, so you write it off the first few times.

But this shit is getting excessive, chile. And annoying…

Rhetorical question, but what lies at the end of a rainbow? You hope that it’s a pot of gold, but with the way that your luck has soured, it might just be seven short(er than you), rowdy leprechauns ready to flip your world sideways…

Chapter 1

She was going on her first social outing in Korea (the source of the K-Dramas that she loved so much that she ended up learning the language), and ___ would make damn sure that she looked her best during it. 

Rounding her top lip out by lining over her cupid’s bow then filling the lip in, ___ took her concealer and ensured that her lip-liner wasn’t a crooked mess. That task done, she swabbed a glob of lipgloss across her lips, rubbed them together, then applied her fake moles. The cool mist of setting spray wafted over her face.

___ smiled at herself in the mirror, happy with her appearance and checking to make sure that nothing was in her teeth. Her 18mm minks blinked back at her, lightly brushing the tops of her blushed cheeks. She hadn’t done The Most™ this time, as her revered 25mms were still preserved within their cases, but her face was still Beat For The Gods™.

Her ripped, highwaisted jeans pinched a bit at the fatty flesh that peeked between her belt and the edge of her cropped top, but she had long-since grown used to this sight. In fact, she had even come to love that part of herself. She was jiggly in places, and that was a-okay. 

As she still had some time before she had to leave to catch her train, she decided to kill it by locating the window that let the most sunlight in and taking pictures there. It wasn’t golden hour, as it was one in the afternoon, but the lighting was just right, regardless. The contrast between the cool, sophisticated tones of her room and the browns in her clothing and skin made for some immaculate self portraits. 

___ had long since learned to become her own photographer, as her height was a bit too tall for any modeling agencies to want to even consider her. Not to mention that her status as a black woman made opportunities just that much harder for her to procure. Yet, even with years of experience, self-modeling was still a bit awkward for her, and that translated in quite a few of the pictures that she had taken.

In the end, after she had ensured that the house keys and her wallet were in her purse and that Mickey had enough food and water to tide his cute little self over while she was gone, many of her pictures had been deleted in between her stepping foot out of the house and her ride to Times Square Mall. 

She was so invested in her phone screen on the train that she didn’t even notice the many stares that she gathered. From her large, beautiful afro to the mile-long length of her shapely legs, many native Koreans took in the rich, alluring aura of the black woman for the first time in their lives. The fact that her face was set in it’s usual intimidating expression was the only thing that put them all off of bothering her.

She was going to this mall mainly to see the world’s largest cinema screen, but the arcades and plentiful high-class stores also appealed (respectively) to her childish and bougie sides. Even though ___ knew that she was gonna do a whole lotta window shopping (her expensive tastes and her income didn’t correlate), she was quite ready to blow a lot of cash during her entire 3 month stay here.

Stepping off of the train and into the subway, ___ had never felt as small and alone as she did then, surrounded by all of these people who didn’t look like her. Not for the first time since she’s started the whole ‘cross-country housesitter’ stint, ___ wished that she had a friend with her. Alas, she was currently chasing a bag, and since it comes with all of the free travel and awesome cultural immersion, something had to be compromised. In this case, ___ would just have to try to make friends while she was here, but she’s not really all that hopeful of that outcome, what with her slight social anxiety and all.

Speaking of which, it was currently flaring up as she squinted at the signs, trying to navigate herself through the crush and towards the upper mall. Somehow, she ended up outside and in front of the large, intimidating buildings made of glass. The mall was so big that it had to be split into Gates, like at the airport. Taking note of the gate number that she was entering and hoping that she’d be able to find her way back to the train station from there, ___ stumbled through the spinning doors and immediately went about locating a map.

The noise inside was deafening, as it tended to be in malls. While the majority of the people inside were Korean, foreigners lulled about as well. It made ___ feel a little less alien, though the way that she towered over most of them subtracted a bit from that. Subconsciously, she started sucking her stomach in, which let up a bit on the pressure from her jeans and shifted the gait of her walk into something less relaxed and more confident. 

___’s first task was to find where the cinema was, as her movie was scheduled in an hour and a bit and she didn’t want to miss it by looking for it last minute. Luckily, the maps were in abundance and pretty easy to read. She decided to spend her time exploring the place by slowly making her way up the five floors. The first store that she went into had a strange, yet forgettable, name. It was a large department store with many women and children strolling along the walkways. Tables and shelves, almost overflowing with neat stacks of books, formed little islands. Between them, the polished, blank screens of electronic devices shone. The store didn’t really have anything that piqued her interest, so she ended up leaving pretty quickly.

This was the trend for the rest of her leisurely walk around two of the five floors that the mall had. On the third, something finally caught her attention— a small cafe tucked around the corner of the many cosmetic stores on the floor.

Walking in felt like stepping into a cozy, surreal painting. The scent of freshly grounded coffee beans wafted through the air and intertwined with the sweet aroma of baked pastries. Dark wood set in warm-toned cushioning curled around the shop, creating such a warm, homely atmosphere that ___ felt like she had stepped into an entirely different world. Already, several people were seated with cups of their own beverages and plates full of cakes and other desserts. Some were patiently waiting in line, face-masks pulled up and glasses perched on noses. A few people lounged in their respective areas with books in hand. Some were seated at the small dining tables, typing away on their laptops. Others chatted quietly with one another.

Somehow, the hustle and bustle of mall life grew hushed and muted in this small, quiet corner. 

The soft crinkling of pages being turned accompanied ___ on her way to the line. Already, she could taste the sweet, milky flavor of her boba contrasting with the sharp coffee of tapioca pearls. 

Across the room, dark eyes trailed her figure. Her wardrobe of choice and the rich tones of her skin made her fit seamlessly into the shop. As hard as he tried to pull his eyes away from the stone-faced beauty and back to his book, Namjoon found that he couldn’t. He didn’t know if it was the swing of her hips or the bounce of her voluminous hair that kept drawing his attention, but he knew that he had to kill whatever thoughts he was having, and quickly. 

Simply put, Namjoon didn’t have the time to go fraternizing with a virtual stranger. He had seen many beautiful women in his time as an idol travelling the world, and he knew better than anyone how time consuming even a simple one night stand could be. Before he even approached someone, he had to think about how any leaked information could damage the group’s reputation. And then he had to think about preventative measures to make sure anything like that didn’t happen, and actually carry those measures out. Even though most of the legal stuff like NDA’s and other contracts were handled by the company, sasaengs were still everywhere. All it took was one picture of his naked, turned back, and they would be on him and his brothers like a particularly stealthy group of leeches.

Not to mention, Namjoon was not a man with many earthly desires— at least, not anymore. He preferred to spend his time out in nature or in museums, either with or without a book, in search of a higher understanding of himself and of consciousness. Time was very precious to idols as busy as BTS because very rarely did they ever get any outside of the judging lenses of cameras or people. How the other members wanted to spend their free time was up to them, but Namjoon would prefer to spend his either in silence, or with his brothers in silence. 

And yet, his gaze continued to stray towards ___ as she moved forward in line. The music sweetly crooning from his airpods didn’t help the matter any farther, either. If anything, it set his own atmosphere to ‘romance’, rather than the initial ‘chill and relaxed’ he was going for. 

Now at the front, she visibly towered over the cashier, long limbed and slightly awkward in the way that only tall people could be. 

“H-how can I help you today, ma’am?” The dark-haired cashier stuttered, looking up at her warily and carefully avoiding her eyes. While she had served many foreigners in her years working at the mall, blank faced people were always a wild card. Sometimes they were extremely rude. Other times, they were perfectly polite. She could never tell with them, unfortunately, and, with the way ___’s face already punted her into the ‘scary’ category, her not inconsiderable height added to the cashier’s wariness as well.

However, all it took was one smile in greeting to crack her icy demeanor into thousands of tiny, little pieces. The sharp slant of her dark eyes, relaxed into narrowed slits that mirrored aloofness and displeasure, curved into merry arcs framed by lashes that brushed the flush of her cheeks. Her full lips, naturally slightly tilted down and shimmering with gloss, stretched upwards into a sweet smile. The plumpness in her cheeks swelled at their highest points beneath her eyes, transforming her face into something soft and honeyed, like dough. 

Suddenly, ___ was too adorable to look away from. 

“One bubble tea (originally flavored) and…” here, ___’s eyes swept across the cafe, briefly glancing over Namjoon (who’s table only had a single book, his airpods case, and his phone on it) in search of a snack to eat, “a slice of whatever that guy over there is eating, please.” ___’s voice, at a slightly lower register than usual as a result of disuse, gently filtered into Namjoon’s area. She had pointed in the direction of a nearby table with two young men calmly chatting with each other. Only one had an actual plate with food on it; the other had a single cookie loosely clutched in his hand. A wrapper divided the table between them. The cake in question was multilayered and looked as if each fluffy partition would dissolve satisfyingly on the tongue.

The cashier, with relief, went about her job of ringing ___ up and making sure that the order was received by the barista. ___ held the straps of her purse tightly to stop her hands from shaking too badly, feeling anxious being surrounded by strangers in such a private environment. She moved to where she could pick her order up and waited in the smaller line there, pulling out her phone and pretending to be busy so that people didn’t think that she was a total loser with no friends.

She felt the familiar prickling in her eyes that occurred whenever she felt embarrassed or overwhelmed, absentmindedly scrolling through her photo gallery and mentally trying to will the emotion away. It felt like everyone was watching her, which made her feel very exposed and self-conscious. She had to remind herself, over and over again as she briefly glanced around the vicinity, that everyone else was too caught up in their own lives to be paying her any attention.

Except for Kim Namjoon, who’s identity remained concealed behind his large, dark shades and fitted, dark mask. He considered just leaving the little sanctuary that he had carved out for himself here, as he kept getting distracted with ___ being directly within his line of sight. And, if he was being honest with himself, it was only a matter of time before a fan recognized him (disguise and all, with how often some of them watched him).

Still, Namjoon found himself glued to his seat, watching as ___ received the tray with her order and glanced around to find an unoccupied table. The only vacancies small enough to seat just one person without it looking weird were... in the area that he had secluded himself within. 

She took slow, slightly hesitant steps in his direction, carefully keeping her back straight and her hands as steady as she could get them in case her purse slid down from her shoulder and jostled the tray. 

Who the hell wears shades indoors? ___ asked herself as she passed Namjoon and settled into a seat behind him. Wait, that’s kinda insensitive. He could be bli— then, she peeped the edges of the whole ass book in his hands and stopped her train of thought. What are the chances that that book is in braille, though? 

Not wanting to be offensive, even in her own thoughts, ___ stopped thinking entirely to reorganize herself at the table. She perched her purse in her lap and dug her phone out of it’s confines, rooting around for her airpods while she was at it. If she was gonna be alone in this large ass mall, she was at least gonna be alone in style and rhythm. 

Her airpod case had a cute little sunflower pattern on it. She stuck both of her small, stickered airpods into her ears and started her music, pulling her camera app up and snapping a quick picture of her snack before taking her first bite. 

Her eyes almost rolled back at the taste.

I just know that if this shop was any closer to the house, my fat ass would be in this bitch every day.

The cake slice was gone with a quickness. If she wasn’t saving her stomach until she got to the food court, ___ would have definitely gone to order another. She pushed the tray with the dishes into the empty space on the table and grabbed her boba. The mellow flavor worked wonders to relax her as she scrolled through her photo gallery, editing the pictures that she had approved of earlier on the train.

Her little bubble of contented solitude wavered when Namjoon shifted into a stretch, popping his tensed joints and rolling his ankles around. He was still trying to recover from her scent’s surprise attack on his nose. When she had walked past him, it was like a bomb of cocoa butter and coconut went off, blending almost sinfully with the rich aroma of coffee and the sweet undercurrent of baked bread. 

This guy is giving me major creeper vibes, ___’s thoughts went back to the stranger again after his movement caught her eye. Even when her attention went back to fixing the lighting in one of her photos, some of her focus was still on him.

Of course, there wasn’t a day in Namjoon’s life when he didn’t do something embarrassing as a result of his own clumsiness. Overconfident in the integrity of his chair’s balance while he leaned back and stretched to his fullest extent, he was in for quite the shock when he tipped over with a mighty crash! 

His book went soaring through the air behind him, sliding to a stop at ___’s foot.

___, who has just placed one of her airpods on the table as she dug through her purse to better listen out for the jingling of her small makeup bag, jumped in surprise, jostling the table and sending her airpod flying in Namjoon’s direction.

It hit him in the head and knocked his own airpod out of his ear, as well. One rolled to the floor and skittered away. The other got lost somewhere between his face and his clothes. His glasses slid down the bridge of his nose and stopped awkwardly at his top lip, stuck. 

The quiet shop went even quieter. People’s heads began turning in their direction.

Namjoon froze, and slowly, his face began to fill with red. A man dressed nondescriptly in black stuck his head in from the cafe entrance, looking for the source of the sudden noise. He began making his way towards his charge once he got a proper grasp on the situation, pulling his walkie-talkie out and silently mummering into it: “All clear, here. Just Kim-ssi being clumsy. Have medics on stand-by, just in case he or anyone else is hurt.”

Before, ___ had only been able to see the broad expanse of his back and his biceps shifting as he flipped to a new page. Now, with half of his face exposed and his eyes staring straight up at her in mortified shock, ___… still couldn’t really say much about his features. He was upside down and still pretty concealed, after all. What patches of skin she could see were quickly turning deeper and deeper shades of vermillion. It was weirdly... cute.

“Um… are you okay, hun?” ___ asked with a pointed, concerned look. Her voice, still low and smooth like velvet, ran subtle waves across Namjoon’s ears. She placed her bag aside and slipped out of her seat, reaching down to grab the book at her feet and walking over to where he was lying prone on the ground.

By the time she had reached him to help him up, his bodyguard had as well. He attempted to block her from going any further as he pulled him up to his feet, but ___ was simply too tall for that to be effective. Namjoon felt himself beginning to curl inwards with all the eyes still on him, but easily suppressed the reflex with his years of 1) being a professional at concealing his emotions, and 2) embarrassing himself on camera.

“Haha, sorry guys. I’m a bit clumsy sometimes.” He bowed to the shop and rubbed the back of his neck apologetically.

“Kim-ssi, are you hurt anywhere?” The bodyguard asked. It took ___ a bit to remember that people were usually addressed by their last names in East Asia, as she had really questioned if the guy in front of her was really named ‘Kim.’

“No, really— that was a pretty loud fall.” She peeked out from above the manager’s head, still holding his book. The only thing on her mind was returning it and retrieving her airpod once he affirmed that he was a-okay.

“Oh— y-yeah, I’m okay. I-I’m used to stuff like this so I can’t really feel it anymore? Sorry about all the noise, haha.” He gave an awkward little laugh (—and probably an awkward little smile, but that remained unseen), shyly rubbing his neck again and making an aborted motion to cover his mouth with his hands before he remembered that it was already covered with a tiny strip of cloth. Inwardly, he cursed himself for stuttering. That was one of the largest tells of nervousness!

___ didn’t really pay his flustered fluttering any mind, however. She slipped around the man standing in front of her and held his book out towards him with a toothy grin. “I felt that. I stub this one toe of mine so often that I don’t even flinch anymore. Anyways, here’s your book.”

Her closer proximity suddenly made Namjoon realize that he had to look up to meet her eyes, and it made his increasingly rattled behavior even worse. To think that he had just begun to calm down, too...

“A-ah, thanks.” Even his fingertips were red as he reached out to accept his book back, but he could luckily just play that off as a slight stinging left over from his date with the floor. “I think something hit me in the head earlier, too, and it knocked my airpod straight out of my ear.”

___’s eyes widened as she subconsciously reached up to touch the ear that still had music lowly puttering into it. “I’m so sorry!” Here, she gave a quick, shallow bow. “I think that was actually my airpod! The sudden noise shocked me so badly that I accidentally knocked it off of my table!” Suddenly, it was her turn to look embarrassed. 

Okay, I’m ready to leave. That’s enough embarrassing yourself for one day, girl! She thought to herself, already beginning to scour the floors for her missing appliance.

“This is slightly awkward to ask, but have you seen it since it hit you? It has a little sunflower sticker on—”

When she turned her attention back to him, she found his bodyguard already beginning to usher him in the direction of the exit, uncaring that the tiny little music device that she spent an arm and a leg on was still missing.

“Okay, that’s just fucking rude.” ___ muttered in English, dropping her formal tone and proper pronunciation as she righted the weird guy’s upturned chair and continued her search alone. Luckily, the small dab of white was easily distinguished against the dark, hard-wood flooring of the cafe. She’d have to clean it thoroughly when she got back to the house. For now, she’d have to settle with the unbalanced feeling of having just one in her ear. Slightly irritating, but doable. 

Unbeknownst to her, Namjoon’s keen hearing caught her judgemental words and the ignominy almost crushed him. How many times had he embarrassed himself in front of the pretty girl, already??? Too many times to count.

He’d never live it down if the guys got wind of this, but there was no bigger gossip than a Bighit staff member. Sometime within the week, his business would be someone’s morning discussion. He reached up to adjust his dark gray beanie, pulling the edges over his ears to hide the reddening tips.

Tangled in the excess fabric of his high necked shirt, a single airpod with a sunflower sticker hid.

[miracleonice87]

Say You Won’t Let Go

a Sidney Crosby wedding series

Part Three

a/n: read part one here and part two here. Part four will be the wedding and probably also the wrap-up! again, please pardon any French errors — relying heavily on Google Translate and my singular conversational French class.

summary: rehearsal dinner with some sweet Sid and Mario.

warnings: mention of deceased father. social alcohol use. otherwise, so damn fluffy it’s practically cotton candy.

_____

The rehearsal had thankfully gone off without a hitch and also without too many further comments from Nate and Mike, our personal peanut gallery. Even Geno, Tanger and Marc behaved themselves, and the kids were all champs. After two full walk-throughs of the ceremony, Sidney and I both felt comfortable enough with the flow to wrap things up and head back to Mario’s place for dinner and drinks with our wedding party and family.

When he and I arrived back at Mario’s, we walked hand in hand through the house and out the back door to the yard, where the tent was set up with all our tables and chairs for tomorrow, flowers and decor only along one long table in the center where our smaller group would be eating tonight. The fairy lights strung through the boxwood bushes lining the yard and also wrapped around the eucalyptus and peonies under the tent gave a soft, dreamy glow to the space. The decorators, under Nathalie’s careful direction, had made my vision come to life and far exceeded my expectations. Our guests themselves seemed to be enchanted by the decor as they pointed out different aspects of the set up, finding their way to their seats.

I stood still on the patio for several seconds in complete awe, my hand falling limp at my side when Sidney moved forward, expecting me to come along with him. He turned back toward me, then looked at the ethereal scene laid out in front of us. He chuckled as he grasped my hand once more.

“I take it you like what they’ve done with the place,” Sidney teased, kissing the side of my head. I simply nodded.

Nathalie emerged from the house just then and wrapped her hands around my shoulders.

“So... what do you think?” she asked, sounding a bit nervous.

“Tantine... (auntie)” I whispered, turning to face her. “This is so perfect. I couldn’t have pictured anything better! Thank you.” I hugged her tightly. She cradled my head as she returned my embrace.

“Oh, sweetheart, you deserve it,” she insisted, pulling back and kissing my cheek. “Only the best for our girl.” We both watched tears well in each others’ eyes as we held hands for a moment, Mario walking behind Nathalie and gently placing his hands on her hips as he smiled at both of us.

“Well, shall we? I have a few words I want to say before we eat,” Mario said. I inhaled dramatically, making Sidney and Nathalie laugh as the four of us made our way to the long candlelit table.

“I hope you brought that hankie I asked for, mon chérie, (my dear)” I told Sidney, squeezing his hand as I leaned my shoulder into Mario’s chest playfully. “I have a feeling I’m going to need it.”

We four made our way to the center of the tent where the rest of our guests now sat, chatter and laughter floating through the night air. When we reached the table, Sidney pulled out my chair and tucked me into my seat, as Mario cleared his throat, a hush falling over our family and closest friends.

“Can I have everyone’s attention, just for a minute?” Mario asked gently, taking hold of the glass of champagne at his place setting that matched the other flutes dotting the glittering gold table runner. Sidney draped an arm easily across the back of my chair and I leaned back into him to look up at Mario beside me.

“I just wanted to say a few words ahead of our dinner this evening, but more importantly, ahead of tomorrow’s events. First of all, thank you all so much for being here. I’m really thrilled to be throwing this celebration for Juliette and Sidney, and you all are such an important part of this as the people who walk alongside them every day. I know it means so much to them to have you all here. I also... I just want to say how proud I am of Juliette and of the woman she has become. She is my only niece, and that has been special enough, but she has really been more of a daughter to me, to us.” Mario stopped to clear his throat and glanced down at the table, and I felt my chest tighten as I looked on.

“As those of you who are here tonight know... we lost Juliette’s father, my brother Robert, unexpectedly when she was twelve years old. Robert, he... he loved Juliette more than anything he ever loved his whole life.”

I felt tears fall from my lashes at last as Sidney pulled me closer to him, kissing my cheekbone softly. He tucked the aforementioned handkerchief into my palm with his free hand and I whispered my thanks as I dabbed at the corners of my eyes.

Mario’s voice was quivering as he continued.

“He would always say that she was his ‘cadeau le plus précieux’ — his most precious gift. And that’s what Juliette has been to us, too. A precious gift. And... I know that that’s what she is to Sidney as well. I see it in the way he treats her every day. He truly treasures her. I’ve known Sidney for a long time now, and I know what a remarkable man he is. I can tell you that Robert would be so pleased that Sidney has taken over as the most important man in his daughter’s life, the person who cares for her and protects her. It’s a big responsibility, and I truly cannot think of anyone more perfect for the role.”

I squeezed Sidney’s thigh as he dropped his head and sniffled. Mario smiled at us both, as did Sidney’s parents seated across from us. Trina reached for Sidney’s other hand and squeezed it once as he blinked back tears.

“Juliette, Sid — I can’t wait to watch the two of you continue to grow together, now as husband and wife. I’m so grateful, as we all are, to be able to bear witness to your love. So, let’s all raise our glasses,” he instructed. All of us at the table did as he requested, holding our flutes skyward.

“Cheers to Sidney and Juliette — two precious gifts — and the love they share. Love you guys,” Mario finished, a round of “salud” and applause sounding as I clinked my glass with Sidney’s, sharing a quick kiss with him before we both stood.

I threw my arms around Mario’s neck, hugging tightly and delighting in his fatherly embrace.

“I love you, oncle,” I whispered. “Thank you so much. For everything. You mean the world to me.” Mario breathed a solemn chuckle and replied, “Oh, ma petite princesse, I love you, too. You truly are a gift to me.” We held each other for another moment before pulling away with soft smiles and damp eyes, Sidney following by leaning in to hug and exchange words of gratitude with Mario.

Once we were all seated again, dinner and more drinks were served as we all fell into gleeful conversation, sharing stories from Sidney’s and my childhoods and also from our time as a couple. Our families and friends rotated retelling tales of the moments they each knew Sidney and I would be together forever, warming both of us and also occasionally making us blush. We talked of our Italian honeymoon itinerary and Sidney’s and the other hockey players’ plans for the remainder of the summer, and we reviewed once more the men’s and the women’s schedules for tomorrow.

Eventually, long after the plates had been cleared, our guests began to rise from their chairs, saying their goodbyes. Nate and Mike were staying at Mario’s with Sidney and of course Austin. Nathalie and her girls, along with Taylor, were coming back to my house with me for the night. Our couple friends with children had opted to head back to the hotel nearby where we had booked a block of rooms.

After hugging Troy and Trina and excitedly promising to see them tomorrow, I planned to make my way back inside and prepare to leave soon. Instead, Sidney grabbed my forearm gently, spinning me toward him as he smirked.

“Not so fast,” he giggled, the drinks in his system having turned his cheeks pink and his eyes sparkling.

“What are you doing, goofball?” I asked, noticing that Mario was the only other person left under the tent. He simply winked at me and carried his highball glass away with him, through the door and into the house.

“Well, the DJ’s all set up, but he has to do a sound check before he leaves... I thought maybe we could help him out,” Sidney suggested, smirking at me with his palms extended. I took hold of his hands and laughed, “What do you mean?”

Before I could say anything else, I heard the first strains of the song that Sidney and I had selected for our first dance at tomorrow’s reception. Only then did I notice the DJ at his booth at the back of the yard, past the walls of the tent. Sidney smiled warmly at me.

The first time we listened to the song together, it came on Sidney’s car radio during a road trip, and we couldn’t stop looking across the vehicle at each other as we realized how closely it reflected our relationship. Since then, we had danced to it many times alone in our home. It was the only song that seemed worthy of accompanying our first dance as husband and wife.

I met you in the dark

You lit me up

You made me feel as though

I was enough...

Shaking my head in disbelief at his thoughtfulness, I followed Sidney’s lead out to the empty dance floor.

“You set me up,” I joked, pushing a finger into his hard chest. “You’re good.” He chuckled.

Then you smiled over your shoulder

For a minute I was stone-cold sober

I pulled you closer to my chest...

“Just figured we could get in a practice run is all,” Sidney grinned, pulling my hips toward his as we moved slowly as one, my head resting on his chest, hands intertwined. “Not that you need one, but I do.” We both snickered and I hit his shoulder playfully.

I knew I loved you then

But you'd never know

'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go...

“God... can you believe this day is finally almost here?” I asked, feeling Sidney hum softly into my hair.

“I really can’t. It’s been a long time coming, love,” he spoke, kissing my forehead and breathing me in. I squeezed his hand as we continued to sway together.

I knew I needed you

But I never showed

But I wanna stay with you

Until we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go...

“Yeah, it’s been coming since I was eighteen and you came over for that bonfire. You walked up and I was sitting with Lauren right over there,” I recalled, motioning to the brick patio nearby and making Sidney laugh against the top of my head.

“And I couldn’t believe how beautiful you were,” he told me. “And I really couldn’t believe that I was falling for Mario’s niece.” I giggled, fingers folding against his collar.

“I know it sounds crazy to everyone else, but we knew that night, didn’t we?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, baby,” I replied sincerely. “We did.”

I'll wake you up with some

Breakfast in bed

I'll bring you coffee

With a kiss on your head

And I'll take the kids to school

Wave them goodbye

And I'll thank my lucky stars

For that night...

“How are you doing... with everything?” I knew Sidney so well that even by the tone of his voice and the pause in his question, I understood what he was asking — how I was handling not having my parents around for this momentous weekend. I inhaled and picked up my head to look at him. I gave him a small smile as he eyed me attentively.

“I’m honestly doing okay,” I promised him. “I have my moments, you know? Especially just thinking about my dad. Mario looks so much like him and sometimes I—“

My breath caught in my throat and I swallowed thickly. I looked at Sidney with hesitance and shrugged slightly. He sighed softly and hugged his arm tighter around my hips as moisture coated my eyes.

When you looked over your shoulder

For a minute I forget that I'm older

I wanna dance with you right now, oh

And you look as beautiful as ever

And I swear that every day you'll get better

You make me feel this way somehow

“I know, Juliette,” Sidney told me, lips close to my ear, sensing what my words had failed to convey. “I know this isn’t easy.”

After a deep breath I said, “No, it isn’t. But Mario and Nathalie, they just make everything so much better. That alone is so incredible. And then... your parents, and Taylor, and you.” I shook my head, looking up into his gaze. “That’s enough. You are more than enough. You’re my family.”

Sidney stood up a little straighter, becoming visibly emotional as I uttered the declaration. He leaned down to capture my lips in an ardent kiss, then rested his forehead against mine as we continued our dance.

I'm so in love with you

And I hope you know

Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold

We've come so far, my dear

Look how we've grown

And I wanna stay with you

Until we're grey and old...

“I’ll always be your family, Juliette,” Sidney assured in a low voice. “And someday we’ll have a family of our own.”

I grinned against him, head resting in the crook of his neck. He continued, and I allowed my eyes to fall closed, his promises soothing me.

“God, they’ll be so beautiful — our kids. And they’ll know just how much their mom and their dad both love them, and how much the rest of their family does, too,” Sidney said, kissing my hair. “They’ll never have to wonder. And you’ll never have to wonder how much you’re loved, too.”

I wanna live with you

Even when we're ghosts

'Cause you were always there for me

When I needed you most

I’m gonna love you ‘til my lungs give out

I promise, ‘til death we part

Like in our vows...

“I love you so much, Sidney,” I whispered, pushing myself up on my toes to take his face in both hands and kiss him firmly. His strong exterior melted palpably in my grasp.

“Say you won’t let go,” I murmured against his lips.

He shook his head.

“I’m never letting go of you, Jules.”

_____

After a lengthy and intimate goodbye in Mario’s driveway, with our respective bridal party members periodically calling our names trying to speed up the process, I finally attempted to pry myself out of Sidney’s hold. With one last heated kiss that made my lips tingle and toes curl, I smoothed my hands across his broad shoulders and sighed.

“Let’s leave on that note,” I suggested. “Because that right there... that’s gonna leave me wanting more,” I added in a whisper. He ghosted his fingers down my bare arms as he let out a soft moan.

“I wish I could take you now,” he growled, pulling me into himself once more. I laughed, holding him close then finally backing away, squeezing his hands in mine.

“One more day, handsome,” I promised. “Then I’m all yours... forever.” His eyes flashed with pride.

“Forever,” Sidney repeated, nodding once. He squeezed my hands with another sigh and said, “Okay, you better go now, because I’m just never gonna be ready to let you go.”

“Okay,” I whispered with a cutesy laugh. “I’m going.” I walked backwards slowly, drinking in his fit figure and biting down on my bottom lip. His eyes widened.

“Juliette!” he warned in a strained whine. “Please don’t do that.”

I tipped my head back in a slightly maniacal laugh. “You can punish me tomorrow,” I whispered with a wink. Sidney’s own head fell backward as he groaned.

“I love you, Sidney Crosby,” I told him, nearing Lauren’s Mercedes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I love you, Juliette,” he returned. “How ‘bout tomorrow I make you Mrs. Juliette Crosby?” My heart fluttered as I giggled like a schoolgirl.

“I’ve never wanted anything more,” I told him earnestly.

I blew him a kiss as I got into Lauren’s passenger seat and was whisked away from Sidney, with him watching us pull down the driveway until we were out of sight.

On the ride home, Lauren and Stephanie teased me about the never-ending farewell between Sidney and me. All I could do was roll my eyes and smirk as they poked fun.

Alexa, ever my protective little sister, stepped in for the second time of the evening.

“You guys are mean! I find it adorable,” she announced. “We should all hope that we find someone who loves us as much as Sid loves Jules.” I turned in my seat and threw my youngest cousin a grateful grin.

“Thanks, Lex,” I said. “You always were my favorite.” Lauren and Stephanie, resigned to Alexa’s sentiments just a moment ago, now launched into hysterics once more as they fought over who was indeed my preferred cousin.

For the rest of the short drive, the nonsense had only morphed into giddy slap-happiness as we piled out of the SUV and made our way into Sidney’s and my house. We pushed the door open to find Nathalie already waiting for us inside, shaking her head at our antics.

“You girls! You’re never goofier than when you’re all together,” she laughed.

Stephanie hooked an arm around my neck and touched our heads together, her athletic frame towering over me.

“Together’s our favorite place to be,” Stephanie mused, causing us all to groan and needle her about her sappy statement as we made our way into the living room.

“Hey, Jules, why don’t you go put on some comfy clothes, then we can sit out back and have some wine?” Lauren suggested.

I nodded quickly. “Sounds perfect to me,” I replied, beaming. She mirrored my smile and I started up the grand staircase.

“Not too much wine!” Nathalie scolded from the kitchen. “No hangovers or puffy eyes for us tomorrow.” All of us younger girls giggled again amongst ourselves, though we knew that we would be best to follow her motherly advice, especially on this occasion.

As I reached our second story, my heart flickered with a distinct emptiness as I realized that Sidney wasn’t here, and wouldn’t be. The two of us spent so few summer nights apart that I could probably count them on only one hand each year. Since his in-season schedule was so strenuous, he made sure that he was home every summer afternoon or evening in plenty of time to catch up about our days, to have dinner together — whether at home or out — and to unwind with a cocktail or a beer. On those summer nights we spent in Pittsburgh and not Cole Harbour, we could often be found with drinks in hand on our bedroom balcony, watching the late evening sun set behind the trees.

I stepped out of my heels when I reached our master suite, flicking on the light switch before scooping up my shoes with two fingers. As I headed for my walk-in closet to change, I gasped at what was before my eyes — on the mirrored glass table in our sitting area sat a massive bouquet of red roses, in an enormous glass vase adorned with a white silk bow. Tucked into the ribbon was a folded piece of paper. My breath caught in my throat, and I scampered to the table on the balls of my feet.  

I pulled the letter from its resting place — “To My Bride,” the outer leaf read. I splayed my fingers across my chest as I began to get misty-eyed. The paper smelled faintly of Sid’s cologne. I pulled it open with shaking hands, eyes flickering over the familiar handwriting.

My dearest love,

Just think — by this time tomorrow, you and I will be husband and wife! What a journey it’s been so far. I can’t wait to travel this road with you for the rest of my days, and to fill this house for years to come with laughter, love, and lots of children with you.

My Juliette, never forget how intensely I adore you, how incredibly much I cherish you, how deeply you amaze me, or how proud I am to call you mine. Tomorrow is the first day of our forever. I can hardly stand the thought. I’ll see you at the altar, princess.

With all my love, for all my life,

S

P.S. Six dozen roses for the six years I’ve loved you. I’ll love you for an eternity more. XO.

I moved my hand from my mouth to wipe a few fallen tears that had dropped onto my cheeks, sniffling as I refolded the paper. Though I had promised my cousins that I would avoid talking to Sidney tonight, I knew in my heart that even they would allow an exception to the rule for a gesture as remarkable as this one.

I dug through my purse on the floor beneath me and found my phone, calling the most recent contact in my history. It rang only once before the line was picked up.

“Hi, princess,” I heard my groom say, the smile in his tone evident.

“You are incredible,” I remarked in a shaky voice, trying to swallow the evidence of my happy tears. “I just walked into our room and found your flowers. Thank you, baby.”

Sidney let out a hum, pleased with himself. “You’re welcome, love. Gotta hand the assist to Nate on that one — he dropped off the roses when you and I left for Mario’s earlier,” he told you.

“Love you, Jules!” you heard Nate exclaim in the background, followed by a couple of whoops from the other men. You laughed as their volume faded, guessing that Sidney had stepped into a more private location as he chuckled.

“Well, thank him for me, too,” I said into the phone. “I was just thinking of how much I already miss you. Normally on a night like tonight, we’d be together on the balcony or in the yard.” He let out a contemplative hum.

“I miss you too, Jules,” he admitted. “We don’t spend too many nights away from that porch this time of year, eh?” I breathed a laugh at how he seemed to be able to read my thoughts, and he continued. “Soon enough we’ll be sitting there together again, with rings on both our hands.” I smiled at the thought.

“Sounds perfect. Listen, I won’t keep you. I just wanted to say thank you for the flowers, but mostly for the letter,” I told him. “I can’t wait to spend a lifetime with you, Sidney.”

He sighed contentedly into the phone. “Good news is we don’t have to wait much longer. I’m glad you enjoyed the surprise. Have a nice night with the girls and I’ll see you tomorrow, beautiful. I love you so much,” Sidney said warmly.

“I love you, too,” I responded. “See you tomorrow, babe.” We both hesitated slightly to hang up the call but I finally did after we exchanged yet another set of goodbyes. I clutched my phone to my chest and stared at the bouquet once again.

“Forever,” I whispered airily.

[supeson]

on my own feet

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine , part ten, part eleven, part twelve, part thirteen, part fourteen , part fifteen

Hanging out in the Cave is definitely a weird experience. Knowing you’re in one of the most dangerous but at the same time safest places on earth is comforting, but also gives you a twinge more anxiety than you normally deal with. 

                                                               *

You had originally come over to see if Bruce wanted to Netflix and chill, but sadly, Alfred informed you that “Master Bruce will be out for the next foreseeable hours.”

“Well, shit. Never mind, then. Since I already took the bus all the way out here, do you think I could crash here?” You ask, thumping your overnight bag on the floor of the foyer.

“How presumptuous. You’ve certainly come far from the shy young person that darkened this very door step two years ago,” Alfred says, raising an eyebrow. He steps aside nonetheless, a hint of a smile on his face.

You pump a fist like a golfer that’s just made a difficult shot as you walk past Alfred. “Well, to be fair, I’ve seen and been through a lot of shit since then. I’m anxious about other things now, my man.”

You putter around the mansion (which consists of trying to help Alfred with his daily tasks and failing), until Alfred wordlessly leads you to the dining room. Just as you’re about to ask about the books on the shelves, he moves the hands on the grandfather clock and sweeps and arm towards the stairs. “Master Bruce should be back in about an hour.”

You don’t say it, but you know he’s just trying to get you out of his hair. You at least have the decency to act accordingly; heading down the stairs with an apology and a sheepish smile on your face.

                                                            * 

You’ve been down here for about an hour and some change, sitting and spinning in the chair in front of the computer, about to boot up another 45 minute YouTube video about some board game, when the waterfall at the end of the drive parts, and a motorcycle comes speeding inside. It comes to an abrupt stop in the circle a couple of yards away from you. Looking closer, you see it’s the Red Hood. He rips off his helmet, throwing it to the ground.

“Dumb fucker, how is it my fault those assholes caught us? Can’t even fuckin’ sneeze in front of the Bat without him blaming me for a typhoon in the Philippines. The kid was fine, I don’t- “ He cuts himself off as he locks eyes with you. 

“Damn, how many blue-eyed, black haired orphans does Bruce know?” You don’t mean to say, but it slips out anyway. Red Hood immediately goes on the offensive, stalking towards you, when the waterfall parts again, and the Batmobile comes screeching in. Damian jumps out, flips over to his father’s side, lending him a hand as he hobbles out. 

Bruce spots you instantly. “Why are you down here.”

You raise your hands defensively, eyes wide. “I was annoying Alfred, so he popped me down here where he wouldn’t hear my screams anymore.” 

He wants to respond, but winces, so you hop out of your chair to go help him. Jason watches the exchange and starts forcibly laughing. “Aren’t you a little old to be a new sidekick? Don’t tell me he’s got you convinced of his ‘grand plan’ for Gotham. It’s all horseshit, y’know?”

“Jason.” Bruce staggers, and you buckle under his weight. Damian doesn’t even flinch (despite being shorter than you. You try not to feel miffed about it), just starts walking towards what you assume is their medical bay. You hobble beside him, trying support more of his weight. Hearing a screeching noise, you look back to see another motorcycle park itself beside the car, Batgirl popping off the bike and rushing past you into the next room, no doubt getting stuff ready. 

You get him onto the table (well, Damian does, really), and Alfred apparently summons himself downstairs, knowing what’s going on without anyone saying anything. Cass passes him stuff as needed, while you’re plastered to the wall, watching with wide eyes. Thankfully it’s nothing too bad, just some gashes and wicked nasty looking bruises. Some stitches and whatever military-grade Neosporin they have on hand should do the trick, if you were to hazard a guess. Alfred gently pushes you from the room, assuring you that Bruce will be fine. Jason is waiting outside, arms crossed, waiting. 

“So, what is it?” 

You whip your head in his direction. “What?”

“What’s making you stay. You evidently know everything there is. What’s not clicking? He doesn’t give a shit about you, really. All he cares about is cleaning up Gotham. You’re just a side piece. As soon as you get hurt, or even killed, he’ll just move on. Why not take your bag and go?” Jason asks, eyeing you up and down. Tears burn at the back of your eyes.

“Todd. Stop.” Damian pipes up from the computer, chair turned around to watch the display. 

“No, I wanna know. What is it? The money? You could get more somewhere else.” He snorts, “It can’t be the baggage. There’s not enough therapy in the world for him to unpack all of his issues. Y’can’t fix him, that’s for damn sure. What makes him so interested in you? Damian gave me the rundown on your situation. Are you hoping to move into the Mansion and live happily ever after? Because it won’t happen.” His arms are uncrossed, and there’s a a cold fire behind his eyes. He knows he’s pushing all the right buttons as tears start to fall. One more push and-

“Fuck you.” Your voice cracks as you say, but it’s enough. “Don’t fucking talk to me like I’m some fucking wet cat Bruce picked up out of the trash. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a gold digger. I don’t want his fucking money. I’m sure if I met him on the streets and he had not a penny to his name, we'dstill be together. I don’t give a shit. I love him for his heart, okay. Is that okay? Can I just live my fucking life? I’d be content living in my shitty little apartment for the rest of my life and having him over to let my cats rub all over him and sit with me. And y’know what? I dunno. I dunno why he likes me so much. But that’s fine! As long as we still love each other, I don’t care. I don’t know you, or what your fucking problem is, but you can eat my whole ass.” You turn on your heel and go back into the bay, tears still falling. “I’m gonna sit with my fucking boyfriend.”

You slam the door behind you and sit beside Bruce, finally wiping your eyes and pulling out your phone to fuck around on until he’s lucid enough to talk to. You’re loading up your favorite rhythm tapping game when you hear him croak, “Eating your ass is my job.”

You drop your phone in surprise, face inflamed. He’s got one eye cracked open, his fingers wiggling. You that that for the signal it is and intertwine your fingers with his. “You’re not gonna be able to eat any ass any time soon, y’know. Someone’s gotta pick up the slack while you’re outta commission.”

Bruce lets out a laugh, a real, genuine laugh, and you start laughing too, which devolves into hiccups. 

The rest of the night, you make him watch the new Babysitter’s Club reboot with you on your phone, until he’s okay enough to go upstairs to his own bed. Bruce wouldn’t have it any other way.

[luci-four]

I Want to Kiss You {Satan x reader/MC}

A/N: This stemmed from a daydream I had but I decided to take out my feel-good fluff on Satan because hes baby (*´˘`*)♡

Fandom: Obey Me!

Pairing: Satan x reader/MC

Satan never expected to be as close to MC as he ended up; They’re just human after all—not that he really had something against them, but why bother pushing yourself to get so close to another person in the first place? He’d seen it in dramas all of the time; Love one day, heartbreak the next—Satan never really understood what sort of feelings one could have to warrant something so exhausting when it could be spent doing other things, things that he’d enjoy doing instead. He didn’t stop to think about how vastly different it would feel to do these things with someone like MC.

Walks at night felt different when he felt the heat radiate from next to him, time spent at the library felt much more immersive, revisiting art he’s already seen at the museum looks brand new with another perspective—everything felt much more alluring when accompanied with MC’s presence.

Just as it did every day, every moment, so much so that he found himself starting to lose his grip on whatever feeling may be inside of him. Affection? Adoration? He did have a level of appreciation for the arts—all things beautiful caught Satan’s eye, so it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise that he had fallen victim to such a strange feeling within his chest each time they passed his mind. These feelings only seemed to grown no matter how hard he tried to keep them under wraps at the back of his mind; Each and every day brought him so much closer to his breaking point.

They sat next to one another in his bed, cozied up with an old film playing from a projection that he had begged MC to watch with him. It was foreign, black and white, something of true beauty that he couldn’t help but translate while analyzing each and every line for them until a heavy thud landed against his shoulder. Blue-green eyes scanned their sleeping form, gently guiding their head to a place he considered more comfortable—his chest. Heart racing and pulse struggling to keep up, he couldn’t swallow the lump in his throat as he strictly analyzed the torn piece of film that affected the movies picture in the bottom right-hand corner, no longer able to focus on the piece itself.

‘This is ridiculous,’ he thought to himself, ‘My body has no business reacting like this.’

He was right, so he thought, that it had no reason to feel like this—he had no reason to have these feelings for something he knew would be stupid to try and pursue; But he wanted to.

God, he wanted to.

If he could have held them tight enough their souls could have simply molded into one another, he would be completely okay with that; To hold them and relish in this feeling of electricity that shot through every inch of his body, the butterflies in his stomach each time he caught the slightest hint that they were around, the completely unbearable pressure in his chest that only seems to find its relief when his body is graced by even the slightest of touches from them—he would do anything and everything to bathe himself in such a blessing, but he couldn’t.

‘I want to kiss you.’

His gaze grew soft, a smile matching the tenderness grew on his lips, as he allowed his heart to whisper words into his mind rather than aloud.

‘I want to kiss you hard; I want to kiss you and kiss you again so desperately that you pull back and give me that genuine smile and adorable giggle that you do—I want to kiss you so desperately loving that you run your hands through my hair and you silently beg me not to stop with the light scratches you leave on the back of my neck. I want to kiss you, but...’

Satan reached for them, caressing their cheek ever so gently, stroking along their jaw softly to keep himself from going any farther.

‘But... I’m so afraid of having to give you back to the world because I’m so undeserving of you.’

His smile turned to a mask to hide the dejection that washed over him; Of course he was undeserving of them—they would always be something just outside of his reach as he was, quite literally, a demon born from wrath while they were nothing short of the sun. Icarus be damned—Satan had felt the pain of falling, the pain of the fire, but nothing, he thought, compared to the pain of being just out of his suns light.

They always brightened up the world with the smallest of things, it was almost blinding; The small things are what brought him to that breaking point months later, after all.

Sitting across the way from him in class, he always loved to watch the way their eyes would narrow at the words they tried to comprehend, or the bored look on their face as they attempted to keep themselves awake. Every so often, should he be so lucky, he would lock eyes with them as they peeked out at him from over their book; They would light up, crinkle at the corners, look so loving and childish as the book would move to reveal the corners of their lips curled up devilishly and their tongue poking from between them. It never failed to make him laugh as he attempted to keep those butterflies pushed down.

‘I want to kiss you.’

The stars in the planetarium never seem to match the levels of brightness in their eyes as they look around the room in awe. The different lights danced across their skin and each colour complimented every little detail his eyes could reach. Soft, beautiful, the dark was just such... an appealing, almost sinful, environment to appreciate them in. They’re so innocent, wide-eyed, and the way their jaw drops at the dumb little facts he spits at them makes it so he just cannot bring himself to look away. Every single time, he has to hold himself back before he grabs them and pulls them close.

‘I want to kiss you.’

Simply walking into the kitchen late in the morning after they’ve missed breakfast, half asleep, yawning and leaning over the counter with their face in their hands is enough to cause his heart to leap into his throat. The way they hold their head up, squishing their cheeks comically and pushing their lips into a “kissy-face” as they fall back asleep mid-sentence; He leans on the counter as well, simply admiring everything about MC with a careful smile on his lips as the breakfast he made them starts to get cold sitting between them. It feels calm, peaceful, like he can fall asleep too—if he wasn’t so focused on absorbing every little moment he got to spend with them. His eyes constantly fell on their lips.

‘I want to kiss you.’

He’s the Avatar of Wrath for a reason; Times have come and gone where he’s been on the verge of snapping-- it’s always unpleasant and the fear in MC’s eyes causes his heart to drop in an instant. Watching their frame shake, tears form in their eyes, and their bottom lip quiver is enough to make Satan feel as though he were nothing short than the scum beneath their shoes. Yet, the way they stand their ground as his voice raises, the bravery they show while telling him to calm down, the shock that fills his body as they throw their arms around him to both physically restrain and get their voice to reach his ears—he can’t help but bite his bottom lip and do his best to keep his own tears and emotions in check. Some times are worse than others, but at the end of the day, he finds himself laying lovingly within MC’s arms, his head on their chest, calming himself down with the sound of their heartbeat and matching his breathing to their own. The tender way they scratched at the back of his neck and dragged their nails up and down his back lulled him to sleep; Waking up to their quiet breathing, serene look on their face and him wrapped up in all of their warmth with their limbs entangled with one another, he felt so lucky that the sun had given him the time to warm up within their rays and greet him for the new day.

‘I want to kiss you.’

Satan had never been happier to meet so many different people in his life until he got an exclusive invite to a ball where he got the chance to bring MC along as well. Dressed up, soft lights, romantic atmosphere—he was excited to simply exist in such a setting with them let alone spend time with them in his arms. Mingling, subtly hand-feeding them from the banquet, people watching and making ridiculous stories up for each one who had passed by them—it was all such an enjoyable time he wished would never end. Sweeping them off of their feet on the dance floor, dancing and moving in ways to catch up to the slowly rising beat; His heartbeat raced much faster than the song did. They stumble, step on his feet, the two of them spin when the dance doesn’t call for it and start to make up their own ridiculous moves. He holds them close, hand on their lower back just lightly holding them against his own body, fingers intertwined with one another and held against his shoulder, their free arm taking the liberty to rest upon his other shoulder as their fingertips just lightly tease the side of his neck; The two of them exist solely in their own little world as the music seemingly disappears from Satan’s ears as he’s dumbstruck by the depth of their smile and the melody replaced by the much more angelic sound of their laughter.

‘I want to kiss you.’

Now he’s here once again, months of agony had passed, his bed a mess as they sit on the opposite side away from him, peeking over one of his books once again. The pages muffle their laughter, which he curses, but everything about them radiates pure happiness at the moment and he’d take that over anything. He pretends not to notice their foot slowly stretch out towards him, ready to kick his leg as they had several times previously only to retract it and feign pure innocence.

“Gotcha!”

Satan reached for their ankle quickly, only laughing at the mixture of squealing and giggles that passed by their lips. They wiggled their leg back and forth, their cries for freedom intermingling with their infectious laughter as he held his grip, moving forward to rest on his hands and knees.

“Freedom? You want freedom? Why, MC, freedom is impossible for the crimes you have committed,” he joked, slowly crawling forward, “Such punishable crimes you have staining your record, such a shame.”

“This is coming from who? A demon?”

“Now that,” he inched ever closer, “that is a low blow.”

They laughed once again, grabbing the pillow beside them and lightly tapping him with it until he stopped moving, giving them his best impression of shock.

“More crimes? Is that what you’re going to do now; Going to commit crimes?”

Satan joked, talking to them as though they were related to the kittens they had seen playing the night before. Such snarky responses passed those perfect lips, that Satan could no longer hold his shocked façade; He crawled closer, still.

“Crimes are punishable, MC. What shall I do with you? Imprisonment? The whip? Make you babysit Mammon for a day?”

“Well, now you just sound like Luci-”

“Don’t do that.”

Satan leveled his face with theirs, just inches apart. His eyes pierced theirs with his direct command-- they simply let out a flighty laugh that matched the mischievous shine in their eyes.

“Oh? Don’t do what?”

“You know what.”

“Do I? Can the judge read me the list of my offenses? What am I being charged for?”

The smirk returned to Satan’s lips, but only briefly; His eyes continued to wander down to their lips as his own parted. He attempted to come up with some sarcastic remark to retort with, only to find himself constantly licking his own lips in anticipation and simply stuttering over his words. Before MC could ask what was wrong—he most certainly didn’t want to hear the modest concern in their voice—he leaned in fully and finally captured their lips with his.

It started off rough, desperate, terrified of the impeding rejection; Until it turned slow, compassionate, and oh so... natural.

Satan moved closer, now on his knees with his back straightened out, his hands carefully cupping MC’s delicate face enough to feel the heat of their blush come off of them but not enough to do them harm; He pulled away only slightly before moving back in, time after time, for kiss after kiss.

His heart soared, his pulse had moved so quickly that he was afraid his heart would surely collapse from the work it was being put through. His mind raced with thoughts so quickly that they all turned to useless static, until he had finally grasped a few key points he couldn’t get rid of.

‘I want to kiss you,’ he thought.

‘I want to kiss you hard; I want to kiss you and kiss you again so desperately that you pull back and give me that genuine smile and adorable giggle that you do.’

Finally, he felt them pull back a bit—his heart sank—only to soar once more as he felt their lips pull into a smile against his. Their breath tickled at his skin, the space between them only growing warmer with each giggle they let out before he pulled them back in.

‘I want to kiss you so desperately loving that you run your hands through my hair and you silently beg me not to stop with the light scratched you leave on the back of my neck.’

Their arms wrapped around his neck, forcing him down closer to them while simultaneously pulling them up to him—they wanted to be against him, not that he minded, and let out soft gasps that ended with laughs between each kiss as his hands lightly swept down their body to press on their hips, pressing on them to hold himself up but silently let them know he didn’t want them to be anywhere but there, in that space, with him. Each kiss he gave was deeper than the last, each breath heavier, each little sound of endearment they gave him made it feel as though there were untouchable peaks to the mountains his heart had to climb.

Their nails raked the back of his neck softly, his sun being so merciful in their affection to leave burning marks across his skin to let him know he truly had been blessed in this moment.

‘I want to kiss you, but...’

He kissed them again and again, slowly melting against them each and every time as Icarus tends to do when flying far too close to the sun.

‘I know I’ll never want to stop.’

Satan could no longer feel his body. Sounds have been drowned out with the beating of his own heart in his ears. His skin burned and he knew it, but the sun had finally come into his reach and he would be damned if he wasted such a blessing.

‘So please, don’t make me.’

He slowly, painfully, pulled himself apart from them, face hovering only slightly above theirs, terrified to open his eyes. Forcing them open was a scary gesture, but the sight that graced them was nothing short of worth it—flushed cheeks, relaxed features, a look dripping in what he hoped was a similar feeling to his own.

“Please...” he started out with a whisper that fanned across their face, “Please look at me with eyes filled with nothing else but how I feel for you. Please tell me you feel this way, too—please show me.”

His forehead lightly landed against theirs, earning him a smile from MC—one that started small and shy, only to tug further than any previous smiles he was lucky to witness; Their lashes curved so eloquently, beautifully, opening slowly to reveal eyes that shined just like the sun he had been waiting for, filled to the brim with adorning admiration, affection, wonder and love.

‘Like Icarus, I am an utter fool to have committed such sin like falling in love with the sun,’ he thought to himself as a smile of his own grew to match theirs, ‘but unlike Icarus, I’m willing to fall over and over again if it means I get to return back to you.’

Satan took a deep breath, attempting to assure that his voice would come out calm and even, though his efforts were utterly futile as it came out shaky and as a hoarse whisper; He no longer had to worry about their answer, however, and for that he would be silently grateful.

“I want to kiss you.”

[midnightartemis]

~ Chapter 43 ~

"There now, steady love, so few come and don't go Will you, won't you be the one I always know? When I'm losing my control, the city spins around You're the only one who knows, you slow it down…

It's always have and never hold You've begun to feel like home yeah What's mine is yours to leave or take What's mine is yours to make your own...”

-Look After You, The Fray

Find Me and My Warnings on A03

*nsfw*

He woke early in the morning with more than enough time to hop in the shower and head downstairs to start on breakfast and coffee. It was the least he could do for Maz letting him stay and there was something about caring for Rey that made his heart race. The house was quiet, the sky outside still dark, though there was a grey haze starting to seep into the world with the sunrise. It was the darkest time of the year, so there would only be a few hours of sunlight.

Ben stopped to peer into Rey’s room and found her sprawled across her bed over the comforter. She was using one of the old books from the forest as a pillow with a mirror laying haphazardly on the bed beside her. Though it looked like she hadn’t been able to sleep in the night, Rey was in deep sleep. Ben gently pulled the book out from under her head and Rey groaned as she shifted to a different position. Ben hid the book away and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before returning the mirror to the bathroom.

What he would give to wake up with her again. To hold her close and wake her with gentle kisses. Her skin was so soft in the morning and she was so sleepy and relaxed. From there it’s a downward spiral till his thoughts are filled with nothing but her and the little noises she made under him in the cabin.

Unable to keep his thoughts at bay, Ben jumped in the shower and took himself in hand. The freshest memories were of her in his bed keening under him as he made her come. The walls of her fluttering tightly around him.

Ben groaned under the hot streams of water as the memory took him over the edge once again. He wanted to be near her, in her, beside her always. But that had become impossible with everything around them.

He knew he shouldn't complain. He knew that they were better off under the watchful protection of his parents and Maz and Chewie. Still, he misses the little home they carved out in the cabin, protected from the rest of the world. His daydreams lately had been filled with nothing but thoughts of pulling Rey into the Falcon and getting as far away from Republic as they possibly could.

That wouldn’t happen though. It had been so hard for Rey to open her heart to Maz and his parents and her friends. She had looked so surprised and happy when she told him Maz wanted to adopt her. She belonged there. Rey deserved a family and love and Ben would never take that away from her.

He knew if he even barely pushed the idea of running away together, Rey would agree.

So, as much as he hated to agree, his parents and Maz were right. The wagons were circled and Rey was at the center of it all. He had to be the one to hold her steady. He would do whatever was necessary to keep her safe, even if it killed him.

But there were so many unanswered questions. So many unknowns. Ben struggled to wrap his head around it. The visions, the secrets. His head had been quiet for a while now. Since the cabin. He had no desire to scribble down the pictures in his head, to capture the darkest parts of his psyche on paper.

It wasn’t a relief. If anything he felt on edge, especially away from Rey, like something was changing in the shadows.

Ben cut off the water and stepped out of the shower. He reached for a towel to dry off as his thoughts shifted to breakfast and the festival tonight. Rey was set to head to Rose’s right after school to get ready. Ben had been roped into helping his mother and Maz with last-minute festival preparations. He was grateful for the event as it meant his mother hadn’t had time to force him into talking about Rey or Snoke or any of it yet. He hadn’t gone to his last three sessions with Luke either and Ben was sure his mother wasn’t happy about that.

Ben shaved away his patchy morning stubble and cleaned the blade before toweling off the rest of the foam.

His eyes glanced over a dark figure in the mirror.

Ben froze, his head racing as he did a double-take. But the mirror was empty. He gripped the edge of the sink and took a deep breath. Just a trick of the light.

It was nothing.

It had to be nothing.

Ben turned off the water and headed down to the kitchen to start coffee and breakfast.

He had to be strong for her.

...

School flew by. Most of his classes were spent preparing for finals and they were working on building portfolios in drawing. He hated working on things in school where anyone could see them. No one got to see his drawings until he decided they could. Even Mrs. Tico knew that she shouldn’t pry too much and that Ben would eventually show her his work when he was ready.

Out of all the teachers in school, Mrs. Tico had been his saving grace. She was an amazing artist in her own right and could have made a living on her art, but teaching had drawn her in. He’d been taking as many of her classes each year as he could- some where it was just the two of them. Mrs. Tico was a true mentor, a gentle presence that never judged him for what he put down on the paper. She hadn’t even pressured him to look into art schools, though she had gently guided him in that direction. She had also given him paths that didn’t involve school, and there was a little agreement between them that Leia didn’t need to know everything. Apparently, Mrs. Tico’s father had been a principal in school and she knew the pain of over-involved parenting when it came to academics.

He’d be sad to leave her and eternally grateful for the safe haven that was the art classroom. Especially since it had brought him Rey.

Rey had woken all smiles at the plate of eggs and toast that he brought her but Ben could see the worry behind her eyes. Sometimes it was almost impossible to know what was going on in her head though he could see the thoughts turning violently behind her eyes. From the way she looked around for the book he had tucked away, Ben was sure her worry had something to do with that.

“What did you find?”

Rey worried her lip and pushed around her eggs before deciding on a bite of toast. “Our grandfathers worked together.”

Ben took the notebook she pointed out to him and opened it to the first page of her scratchy handwriting. He frowned and skimmed over the words. “They knew each other?”

Rey nodded. “From what I can tell so far… They were affected… Like we are. I think they were studying it. He goes into some theories like mass hallucination, shared psychosis. It’s hard to make out. Some of it is coded or just completely blacked out.”

Ben flipped through the pages and stopped to look at some of the blacked-out text. “Do you think Anakin did it? Or someone else?”

Rey shrugged. “Both maybe. If it was so secret. But not all of it looks the same- look.”

She flipped through the pages and pointed out sections of blacked-out text. Some looked old like it was done in the original ink of the journal, but others looked newer. More like sharpie or magic marker.

The door to Maz’s room swung open and Ben quickly shoved the notebook under Rey’s blankets. Maz shuffled out of her room, hair in curlers and a robe wrapped around her short frame. She yawned deeply and blinked at us. “Morning, children.”

“Morning, Maz.” Rey smiled softly.

“There’s coffee and eggs and toast on the stove if you want some.” Ben stood from the bed nervously. Maz didn’t seem to mind the fact that he was there, but he didn’t want to push his luck. The old woman’s face lit up at his mention of food.

“Bless you, boy. I might have to keep you around.”

Maz shuffled off and disappeared down the stairs. Ben let himself relax a little and Rey turned her bright eyes to him. Her hand reached for his and Rey intertwined her small fingers between his larger ones. That was all it took for Ben to completely melt into her.

He knew he was doing it again. Letting her in. Caring far too much and trying to fix all her problems for her. He couldn’t fail this time though. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Rey. Ben wasn’t sure he would survive if something did.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Rey appeared at his side, wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him out of his thoughts. Ben wrinkled his brow as he looked down at the spread of drawings before him. Five. He had to choose five to present to Mrs. Tico.

“Not art.” Ben grunted.

Rey made a small noise of affirmation. “I can’t either. I’m better off just rolling a dice to choose my five.”

“No, you have a good eye.”

“I know. That’s how I know all mine are bad.”

“They’re not bad.” Ben groans inwardly as his voice betrays him. Art was not Rey’s forte and they both knew it. She accepted it.

Rey laughed. “You’re starting to make me think you’re the one with the concussion.”

“They’re not… that bad.” Ben set down the still life drawing they had done of random objects from around the school. “You’re very beautiful and I love you.”

“You’re a scoundrel.” Rey rolled her eyes and grinned up at him. She looked a little lost and Ben knew she still didn’t quite believe him. At times he didn’t believe it either, but everything had changed so quickly. It was hard to process their short time together.

Rey looked over the pile of drawings in front of him and carefully sifted through the stack. She took her time looking at each one before selecting five. A landscape of rolling prairie, a lone woman looking out over the land. A landscape of a strange alien-looking desert city. A still life of a lone man drinking at a strange bar. A portrait of Rey. A portrait of Lily. It was hard to tell one reality from another.

“Are you sure?” Ben asked as Rey spread out the drawings over the small table. Their portfolios were going to be displayed in the lobby before the winter concert. It was bound to raise questions if people saw Lily’s face next to his name.

Rey nodded and traced her fingers over the portrait of Lily. “I never knew her, but I feel like I did from the way you draw her. I know you loved her. Other people should know too.”

An ache rose in Ben’s chest. He’d never let himself rest after Lily’s death. He’d thrown himself into protecting Rey now that Snoke was gone. It would be far too painful to open those doors again. It would break him to pieces and Rey needed a whole person. He needed to be whole for her.

Somehow Rey always knew. Somehow she understood him better than anyone in the galaxy. Somehow they were always meant to find each other. It was too much of a coincidence for it to not be fate. He didn’t understand how other people hopped from person to person, but maybe he was just lucky. All he knew, deep in his bones, was that Rey was it for him. There would be no one else.

The thought should have been terrifying, but all Ben felt was immense comfort. Calm. More alive and grounded than he ever felt before.

Ben pulled Rey close and left a gentle kiss on her head. “Are you excited for tonight?”

Rey groaned, but there was a smile on her lips. “Rose is going to put me through hell, but it will be worth it to see you in a tie.”

“I’m supposed to wear a tie?” Ben frowned at Rey but broke his act when she scowled at him. “I’ll wear a tie.”

He looked around the room and found most everyone else was listening to music or distracted. Mrs. Tico was bent over and in deep discussion with some sophomore girl who looked close to tears.

Ben nuzzled close to Rey’s ear. “It’s a date. And you’re gorgeous. Plus, I have some ideas where a tie might come in handy.”

Rey flushed a deep red and cast a sheepish glance around the room before whispering. “Are you going to tie me up, Ben Solo?”

All the blood in his body drained south at the heated look in her eyes. Fuck. Like always Rey was two steps quicker to the draw. She seemed to take a special interest in torturing him.

“Maybe. If you’re good tonight.” He had to figure out a way to get them away from the crowds and out of the eyes of his entire family. He missed her, though he had been sleeping not twenty feet from her for the last week.

“What if I break the school record with our cart?” Rey countered.

“You can’t bet on a sure thing.” Ben winked at her and Rey grinned. It had taken some convincing, but Han had finally agreed to let Rey drive the cart as long as she wore a helmet. Ben was too large to fit into the cart and they both refused to let anyone else touch it.

A few minutes before the bell, Mrs. Tico collected their chosen portfolios and reminded them about the festival’s concert gallery. Ben and Rey wasted no time in hurrying out of the building and across the parking lot to the school shop. Today was finally test day.

The shop buzzed with voices as they entered and more than a few eyes turned to watch them warrily. Snap glared worst of all, but was smart enough to keep his mouth mostly shut. He’d gotten two detentions from his shop incident, but Ben found himself wishing he’d given the guy a black eye or two. As if sensing his thoughts, Rey took Ben’s hand and led him to their shared desk at the side of the classroom.

The bell rang again and Han stood from his perch on the high stool at the front. “Well, kids. It’s testing day.”

A cheer went up from the boys in the back.

“I’ve already double-checked your engines and I’ve left a pint of gas with each of your bikes. You should all already know the rules. Each cart will carry the same weight of passenger and cargo. The goal is to go as far as you can on the gas given to you. You’ll each warm your engines for five minutes. That will be timed. Since it’s cold out, we’ll start in the garage. And I’ve cleared a path in the parking lot for us to follow. Questions. No? Good.”

Rey grinned broadly and bounced excitedly on her toes. It was the most excited he had seen her in a long time. He couldn’t help but smile. Rey Niima had his heart, his soul, and the rest of his life.

Read Me Here

[sirrriusblack]

can you write a oneshot about wolfstar with 1D's They don't know about us??

Oh my, am I about to expose my 2013 one direction phase? Yes, yes I am. I love this song and it fits so perfectly and thank you so much for this prompt @remuslupingivesthebesthug and I’m sorry I took so long to write it my brain is a disaster :)

* * *

People say we shouldn't be together

We're too young to know about forever

* * *

“Moony, we need to talk...” Sirius said, sitting across from Remus. They were alone in the Gryffindor common room, Remus studying for the upcoming OWLs and Sirius... well, Sirius couldn’t get this off his mind. Remus didn’t lift his head, only turned the page of his book.

“Can it wait ‘til tomorrow? I’ve got to finish taking notes from this chapter and I feel like I’m about to pass out,” he said, his eyelids heavy. Sirius linked his hands together. trying not to fidget. When he didn’t say anything, Remus looked up. Sirius looked like a wreck. His eyes were red, like he’d been crying. He was... “shit, Pads, what’s wrong?” Remus asked putting his book down beside him. Sirius bit his lip and looked up at the roof, his eyes flicking between the beams, watching the shadows and trying to build up his voice.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said. Sirius’ head fell into his hands, his hair falling around him like a curtain, his shoulders shaking and—

“Sirius,” Remus said. He crawled over to him, crouching in front of Sirius’ knees. He carefully placed his hands on Sirius’ arms, ignoring the heat from the fire, focusing only on this boy in front of him. “What? What can’t you do?” He asked quietly, not wanting to startle him. Sirius took a deep breath and looked up, locking eyes with Remus.

“This,” Sirius gestured between him and Remus, gestured to Remus’ hands, only inches away from Sirius’.

“I don’t... I don’t know what you mean,” Remus admitted, confused. Sirius huffed, and Remus wasn’t sure if it was laughter or bitterness.

“I can’t pretend I haven’t wanted to be with you since third year,” Sirius said. Remus didn’t...he...what? “I can’t pretend you’re just my best friend, I can’t pretend I don’t see you differently than I see Peter or James. I can’t do it anymore.” Remus didn’t believe it. This couldn’t be happening. Sirius was dating Marlene. Sirius was straight. Sirius was...in love with Remus? That couldn’t be true. Remus had probably fallen asleep or he was imagining things or... there had to be some sort of explanation. “Remus?” Sirius said quietly, waiting for an answer.

“I...we...can’t...we shouldn’t be together,” Remus said. Sirius’ face fell. Remus... he didn’t know what he was doing. He was in love with Sirius. He wanted nothing more in the world than to be with Sirius. But this was a trick. Surely. And Remus had to be reasonable.

“What?” Sirius whispered, cringing away from Remus. There wasn’t a place in this world where Sirius and Remus could be accepted.

“We shouldn’t be together.” They just shouldn’t. Remus picked his book up again and started reading.

* * *

But I say they don't know what they talk, talk, talkin' about (Talk, talk, talkin' about)

'Cause this love is only getting stronger

* * *

“I—I’m sorry...” The first words Remus said to Sirius after a month of near silence. I’m sorry.

“What?” Sirius whispered. “What for?” he asked, stepping closer. Remus stayed where he was. His head was facing the ground, his curls falling sheepishly to toward his feet. Remus looked up, green eyes shining. Sirius tried with everything in him not to step forward. “Why are you apologising, Remus?” He asked softly. Remus sniffled.

“I...I keep doing this and it’s not fair of me but I keep telling myself you’re lying or you’re pranking me or it doesn’t matter because it’ll never work because—“

“What are you saying, Remus?” Sirius asked, stepping forward again. Remus took a step back and hit the wall behind him. Sirius halted. He didn’t get it. Was Remus trying to get away from him, or—

“I can’t pretend either,” Remus admitted, thinking back to Sirius’ desperate words a month ago. Sirius blinked.

“What?” he prompted. Remus bit his lip, the habit tearing away a small part of the control Sirius was holding himself to. Remus took a deep breath.

“I can’t pretend I don’t want to be with you. I can’t pretend I don’t see you in the halls with Marlene and want to be that person next to you—“

“Marlene and I broke up over a month ago,” Sirius quickly rushed out. Remus’ hands dropped to his side.

“What?”

“She... I came out to her.”

“As gay?” Remus asked, leaning forward. Sirius hesitated, but nodded. The world stopped spinning. Remus’ mouth tilted up at the corner like he couldn’t help but smile.

“So what...what’s happening?” Sirius asked, gesturing between the two of them. Remus bit his lip again, a nervous habit.

“I don’t...we can’t...everyone...”

“We can, Moony,” Sirius said when Remus trailed off. He made to step forward again but held back in order to keep from startling Remus. “Please, Moony, we can be together...” Remus only looked back toward the ground. “Please, Remus, I—“

Sirius was cut off as Remus stepped forward and pulled Sirius back against the wall, closing the gap between them and opening every door that had previously been shut. The walls fell down around them as the two boys smiled against each other’s lips, as their hands somehow became linked together, as they kissed, long and gentle and slow.

* * *

So I don't wanna wait any longer

I just wanna tell the world that you're mine

* * *

“You...when...how long?” Pete asked, glancing between the two of them. Sirius smiled, his hand intertwined with Remus’.

“6 months,” Remus answered, tracing his thumb over Sirius’ hand lightly. Pete sputtered, eyes wide.

“You’ve been dating for 6 months and we didn’t even notice?” he exclaimed, moving his limbs everywhere. Next to him, James was silent and still. He couldn’t...no...he hadn’t said a word. Sirius shifted carefully.

“James?” he said, looking for any kind of reaction from his best friend. That’s when James smiled. He smiled wider than the boys had ever seen him smile.

“Oh Merlin, what is it?” Remus asked cautiously. James grinned wider.

“You see, that remark is incorrect, dear Wormtail,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “They’ve been dating for six months and you didn’t notice. In fact, you refused to notice,” James said, still smiling and not making any sense. The sunlight shining through the window glinted of the lens of his glasses. James held out a hand. “I believe I’m owed something, Peter.” Peter sighed dramatically and handed over a box of chocolate frogs from underneath his mattress. Hands dig in right away.

Sirius stole a glance at Remus, who was watching his friends fondly.

“So you really don’t mind?” Remus asked, his eyes glinting and his hand holding Sirius’ with certainty. James pulled a face at Pete, who was staring longingly at James’ chocolate covered hands. He shrugged.

“It’s not up to us,” Peter said, trinity and grabbing another box of stashed chocolates. Remus wondered how many stashes he had. “But yes, we’re happy for you guys,” he promised, “even if you did lose me a bet.” The boys all laughed.

* * *

Oh, they don't know about the things we do

They don't know about the "I love yous"

But I bet you if they only knew

They would just be jealous of us,

They don't know about the up all nights

They don't know I've waited all my life

Just to find a love that feels this right

Baby they don't know about

They don't know about us (They don't know about us)

* * *

“I don’t know, I still don’t think I’m ready to tell everyone,” Remus said, feeling nauseous. “I...” he looked up at Sirius, eyes red. “I don’t know how we’d get treated, Sirius. I’m...I’m scared,” he admitted. Sirius’ heart broke then and there. He shifted forward and linked his hands with Remus’, taking in his star flecked face.

“Moony, baby, I promise that I will personally beat the shit out of anyone that makes a single comment about us,” he swore, and Remus smiled a little. “But if you want to wait, then we wait. Pete and James know, and right now, that’s all that matters, yeah?” Sirius said, squeezing Remus’ hands. Remus nodded.

“Here’s to hoping Bellatrix makes a nasty comment,” Remus said quietly, a thin smirk on his face. Sirius barked in laughter.

* * *

Just one touch and I was a believer

Every kiss it gets a little sweeter

It's getting better

Keeps getting better all the time

* * *

“Oh come on! Get a room!” James yelled and slammed the door shut.

“This is our room!” Remus yelled back, his words muffled by Sirius’ lips, they were both shirtless on Sirius’ bed, Remus straddling his boyfriend, their lips melting together, fusing them into one. Sirius breathed out a laugh and drew the curtains shut.

* * *

They don't know about the things we do

They don't know about the "I love yous"

But I bet you if they only knew

They would just be jealous of us,

They don't know about the up all nights

They don't know I've waited all my life

Just to find a love that feels this right

Baby, they don't know about (They don't know about us)

* * *

“I love you.” Sirius choked on his orange juice. Remus smiled sheepishly.

“Moony, we’re eating breakfast!” he shouted. Remus only kept smiling.

“I know, I just... thought I ought to let you know,” he said, like those three words hadn’t just meant the entire world to Sirius. He grinned, wider than he’d ever done so before.

“I love you too, Remus,” Sirius said, and he did. He loved Remus with every piece of him. They both stood up at the same time. James looked up.

“What are you doing? You haven’t even finished half your plate,” he pointed out, gesturing to the plates. Remus smirked.

“Other things to eat,” he said. It was Pete’s turn to choke on his orange juice.

* * *

They don't know how special you are

They don't know what you've done to my heart

They can say anything they want 'cause they don't know about us

They don't know what we do best, that's between me and you, our little secret

But I wanna tell 'em

I wanna tell the world that you're mine

* * *

Remus nodded. Sirius grinned and climbed on the dining table, clearing his throat to get the attention of the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall stood to interrupt but Sirius quite literally ‘tsked’ her and she actually sat back down.

“Thank you for your attention. I have an announcement to make.” Remus was bright red, hiding his face in shame, but also unable to keep the smile from his face. The entire room looked confused. Sirius took a deep breath. “I...” he pointed to a group of first year Hufflepuffs. “Drum roll please....” Remus shook his head. “I am...super gay for Remus,” he shouted.

The room was silent, save for a single ‘whoo!’ coming from Marlene a few seats over. Sirius jumped down and bowed. James and Pete were shaking with laughter and Remus was embodying a tomato.

“Thank you and goodnight,” Sirius said, grinning. Remus decided not to tell him it was the middle of the day.