#and then realise i cant share bc well... what the hell what the fuck are they even where did they come from what is wrong with you right?

[strawberry-peach]

it really boggles me how i come into some of the ships or "ships" that live in my head rent-free 24/7 like... you wouldnt believe me it makes no fucking sense, or it does in my head following the weird-ass logic my brain used in the first place to smash them together but... yeah no

[anarchyatthesupermarket]

HI i am having Thoughts about your necromancy au and i need to talk about it. i was trying to convince my sister to read it so that i could have someone to talk to about it. but then i realised. yknow who definitly also has Thoughts about YOUR necromancy au? you. feel free to delete this ask i just wanted to ramble(about the later chapters specifically)

Call this my toxic trait buttt I dont think Rae did anything wrong in raising his mom from the dead. LIKE why the fuck shouldnt he?? His mom(and grandpas) didnt deserve to die, why the fuck should he let them, when he HAS the power to bring them back?? like??? Also not Momboo being a massive bitch telling Isla her son deserved to die. LIKE GIRL. i know you have issues but that is NOT how you talk to a grieving mother. ABSOLUTELY DESPICABALE behaviour. ALSO im pissed off at Fenris, Caspian and Aax. Like not them confirming Rae's worst fears when he actually tells them about Momboo and sends HIM away. and blah blah blah its their magic reacting badly but they dont even TRY to sympathise with him. Als.o like Fenris you are literally dating another necromancer. You cannot give Rae shit for being a necromancer without then applying that to your BOYFRIEND???

ALSO funny how when Rae raised HIMSELF from the dead, taht didn't trigger their magic or whtv, but when he was revived by Momboo it DID. 🤔🤔🤔🤔 (I dont think this will go anywhere but. thats beside the point.) Actually wait no maybe im onto somethign here. Maybe its because momboo fucked him up while reviving him!! maybe she did this on purpose!!! wait no i think im wrong. whateverrrr im being silly 😋

i cant wait to see how other characters react to Rae's new situation. I think(hope) that Athena and Jamie will still eb on his side.... actually maybe not. But i will hope.

At least Rae has Isla, even though everyone thikns hes a monster(THE EPIC PARALLELS ARE REAL) at least his plan didnt fail and his mom;s alive. slight consolation.

If i was Isla i would be HOSTILE to the afformentioned people (Fen,cas,aax momboo) if the situation gets resovled and doesnt end with Rae's eternal death. Hell id be hostile the entire fucking time. I want to see ISla kick someones shit for Rae because how DARE they call her son a monster for saving HER. do you think that would cause her guilt though? since she kinda maybe sorta ruined her sons life? that he ruined his own life to bring her back?

OKAAY ANYWAY thats most of my thoughts. can you tell that Rae is my favourite character no matter the universe? Can you also tell how unwell i am about this au? i think about it..frequently.... again feel free to delete this i just needed to share my thoughts ad feelings with SOMEONE

I also have so many thoughts about my necromancy au, it's just rotating in the back of my brain 24/7. I'm really hoping this all makes sense.

I agree with you, there's very little reason that Rae shouldn't bring his family back and Momboo's reaction (while coming from a place of trauma and fear) was unreasonable. However, I raise this to you, Rae is dead, he can not age or die. At this moment with how it stands he is going to watch Isla grow old and die, if he brings Raemond and Everett back the same thing will happen. He brought Isla back and he's going to loose her again and why would he be any better at processing his grief. Necromancy can not stop old age.

As for what happened with Momboo bringing Rae back and then Aax/Fenris's magic reacting badly to that, I have so many thoughts about it bc it's also how I imagine magic working in this au. I'm going to try to make this make sense.

I imagine that everyone's magic inside them is like a well, you can take water out of it (to perform magic) and more water will flow in to replace that lost water. You can deepen the well to increase how much water can be taken out of it without it running dry (strengthening your magic) however, if you try to deepen the well too quickly then parts of it might cave in (think exercising without warming up leads to hurting yourself, you try to perform too much magic that you're not ready for and you get weaker because you pushed yourself too far). The thing is is that you don't want your well to collapse or run dry. Rae bringing back Isla caused both to happen. When Momboo brought him back she just refilled his well with water so he could rebuild his well (bring himself back to life because Rae relies completely on his magic to live, other people can survive their well of magic being emptied but he can't). Because of that there was life magic in a well meant for necromancy, it was like dumping a bucket of muddy water into a mountain spring, and it will take days for Rae's magic to replenish and wash out the life magic. Fenris and Aax sensed the life magic in him (magic that wasn't supposed to be there, magic that was wrong for who Rae is) and it set alarms bell off in their heads because that's Rae's body but that's not Rae's magic that's reanimated his corpse. That's what Len's magic and reanimating the hordes felt like, that was a necromancer's magic filling bodies not meant for that form of magic.

The same thing didn't happen when Isla or Centross were brought back because they are both necromancers and so is Rae. That is necromancy magic filling wells meant for necromancy. I don't think Momboo felt as much "wrongness" with bringing Caspian back either because of a combination of Caspian not having magic and Momboo being a life witch.

Rae being called not human is a correct statement because he's dead, he's a corpse that's walking around. He's an abomination/unnatural because he's "living" off of magic that is nothing like his own.

Rae is an abomination, he is a monster. He is both Len (the traitor, the monster, the original sin) and the hordes (the horror, the grief, the terror) that marched on cities. He is a reanimated corpse with the singular goal of bringing his family back no matter the cost.

This is not because of what type of necromancer he is (because there are types, I just haven't been able to talk about them yet), he brought Centross and Isla back with both of their desires being completely separate from his own. He has no control over them. His situation is a bit more like Len and the horde which Len has/had complete and utter control over. Rae didn't have enough magic to bring himself back to life completely (hence the no heartbeat/breathing/just being alive) but he did have enough magic to bring himself back as one of the "mindless undead" which have singular goals according to the necromancer who raised them, his goal being bringing his family back. He's not being rushed into doing that/given the illusion of free will because his "soul" inhabits his body since it was reanimated. Think of it like Rae's soul/ghost is possessing his body, if that helps, but ghosts usually are formed with some goal in mind like revenge, in Rae's case that goal is simply bringing his family back.

Anyways, I could keep talking about this but I feel like I'm making less and less sense as I go on. I'm always happy to answer asks about this series bc I am unwell about it. I hope this made sense and I'm glad you're enjoying the series!!

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for forgetting to tell my partner that we're dating?

I (27m) are dating with my friend's friend (26m). Wait hold on I'll tell you what happened before that.

I (27m) are tasked with neutralising an opposing agent (26m), but i didn't follow through the order cause 1) his mother wanted me to find him and 2) he is a friend to my friend so I didn't wanna upset both so i took him home and help? Well, try to help him cause I'm shit at this. This guy has trauma on top of trauma. Like layers of lasagna. So I try to give him space, practice boundaries and all that, take him out on walk for his mental health, cook his favourite food (the one his mom made him but he forgot urghghh my heart). And it's working! Kind of. He's a lot more transparent with his feelings with time and not hiding them a lot. Which also means that he's not shy expressing his disdain for me. Which is hilarious bc its so easy to goad him into grinding his teeth at me lmao. I just open my mouth and he will wrestle me to shut me up.

Anyway fast forward to around 2 years? I was cooking while he and my kid (for a while we're trying to find a better caretaker for her) was at the dining table teaching her math, and i thought 'wow we're like a couple with a kid' and it Hits me. That im in love with him. He was so different from what my friend said he was. He was angry, explosive, doesn't take any shit, and also just very, very soft at heart and I cant help but love him. So I took him to dates, hold hands, share my bed with him, kill peole together, and all the romantic stuff.

Until one day I realised that. I haven't told him that we're dating. Together. Fuck anyway I panicked and went to the toilet and confessed here. Will he kill me? Absolutely. Burger style i think. Aita? Pls respond before he thinks im shitting to hard again

Update: Helloooooo fellas apparently he's in love with me too??? I was too long in here and he tear the door down bc he thought i fainted or drowned (not the first time it happened). So i confessed bc i cant hold it in and he just. Stared at me disappointedly smacked me and hugged me and also said that hes the same??? HELL YEAH anyway he also made aita post and said that my teeth look lmaooo I've been quoting the replies to that post and he just hits me brutally with pillows. thanks y'all and remember: confess your feelings guys ✌️

[sunset-bridge]

gorbo thoughts (the real)

if you saw the other ones no you didnt. its just i realized i forgot some Important things so my brain readjusted. i hope no one really saw the other ones or. if you did Erase them from your memory pretty please?

like. ok im certain he Does know from the start ( i. think?) that protag is joker, since he had already heard mona in the metaverse by then. i wasnt certain if you had to actually hear him or if just entering the metaverse was enough, but yeah you have to hear him; sae , despite having entered the metaverse, still cant understand mona since she never actually got to hear him there. anyways

but like. ok its so. funny and also Bad for me. can you imagine. hey going with the plan of. haha im gonna get this guy sooo bad. heheheh im gonnnnna. get him!!! and then like. ah shit im actually having fun but im gonna have to kill this guy a few months later. well.

like. "hehhe yeah im gonna get this guys trust by hanging out with him a bit and pretending to be a nice friend : ) its ok im super good at this i wont even get attached i completely control every single neuron in my brain NOPE i wont enjoy this because im always self aware. all the time forever" <---- the clueless

god with goro being the type of person to crave attention and . you know that he wants to feel needed or wanted around. hmm. i too would start to have a normal amount of fun later like. eheh. this guy likes hearing me blabber about stuff : ) ahah this is kinda cool i can just say whatever i want lol.. WAIT FUCK!!. like. ofc hes aware hes the Enemy but that doesnt stop you from having fun in the moment and then being like. SHIT !! like. you cant fucking control liking someones company like that lol. do you guys get what im saying. shaking you. mfw i need to be evil and shit but FUCK im still just human and have human emotions and shit

also. its. really funny to me. the. fucking traumadumping like. did he. was he trying to like. appear even more genuine to fool joker even more. but failed in the process and just. actaully Talked about Real Things instead. BECAUSE guys when i was playing. i sincerely thought "hey i wonder if any of these things hes saying about his past are even real lol.." LIKE I THOUGHT he would like. yknow make something up? but. nope. he just. he just used his Real Lore. hello goro?

but like

tbh understandable. i cant imagine he had many people he could share stuff about his life with; hell , not even shido, since he couldnt know about goro's mother and what not. and other people, way too risky. they could make rumors about the detective prince

guy was just waiting for an opportunity to drop that on someone BHSGHSGHKF

quoting my beautiful friend sage: like his brain probably abandoned the plan as soon as he started talking bc he didn't realise how much he needed to get it off his chest. and then he like "fuck he knows too much about me now. he needs to die".

boyloser. mfw i try to gaslight my silly rival into trusting me by acting genuine but at some point i start being Too Real

^^ this is it . like. yeah ok goro you can pretend to be cold and cool but. idk man this shit would eat anyone away. i would Want to tell it to at least Someone at some point you know.

honestly this is on shido for trying to use a traumatized 18 year old as a spy hitman. an 18 year old who wants to be needed by anyone even. like cmon. honestly skill issue. like cmon man

anyways. im. normal about it. ahah can you imagine that your only slightly real friend is the guy you have to kill a bit later. like. the only time you can be somewhat genuine is with your fucking archnemesis rival . man. and even then its like. im a guy hiding under 37 layers of irony but hey this other guy (also hiding under 37 layers of irony) is kinda cool fr.. . ggggggggggg

[septimus-heap]

Marcia and silas,, being friends,,,,

Still bitching at each other bc they're just Like That 😌

Except now they actually sometimes sit down to (shocker) have a civil conversation abt things

Mutual hatred of marcellus

Silas steals and tries on marcias shoes as a joke and immediately breaks his ankle

He spends the next several weeks asking how the fuck she walks in those

She never tells him :)

Marcia realising that a lot of silas' self esteem issues are actually her fault and doing her best to fix that

She's not very good at people and she's also not very subtle but she is down to yell at ppl who insult her friends 😌

Sometimes they sit at cafes and insult the outfits of people who walk past

Well marcia does. Silas doesn't know shit abt fashion so he just agrees and hopes she doesn't ask his opinion

She doesnt

Just because they're friends doesn't mean marcia has to acknowledge his opinions on clothes

Silas who had to adapt a lot of spells to be simpler so he can actually do them and marcia who insists that they must be done The Right Way

Silas convincing marcia to try the spells his way and she's like. Shit. This is so much easier wtf

This doesn't stop her from making him learn the right way as well

They still argue but its like. Friend arguments

Just gonna promote my fic which is where their friendship started off 😌😌

Well kind of

There's some kind of Other moment where they're both nearly at a breaking point and end up running into each other and ranting a lot

And when they both leave they're like. Wtf why did I say any of that that's that fucker and I hate them???

But after that they can't hate each other as much and they're still arguing sometimes but it's mostly for appearances and they don't really Mean It

Septimus ends up making them actually talk because ffs this is weird

They end up agreeing that yeah, they can't just pretend they didn't share their problems with each other but they also. Don't want to talk abt it still

So they just agree to stop arguing and leave each other alone and it works for a bit but marcia cant stop noticing people randomly insulting silas and he can't stop noticing when she gets jumpy when it's storming

And it's not like they sit down one day and decide to be friends but they're back to mocking each other only in a nicer way and doing their best to help each other without Actually showing that's what they're doing

And silas is the one to call marcia his friend first (because marcia probably preplans every sentence let's be real), to someone else but definitely within her hearing

And they're both like. Oh shit

Because they are friends except now they're not trying to pretend they're not

Anyway back to hcs ahsudbduebeubr

Marcia showing up at the heaps room and at the palace just randomly when shes stressed out

Because the tower is great but being there also means that she's available for conversation at all times which isn't. Great

Silas showing up at the tower when there's a thunderstorm bc he knows marcias too proud to actually ask him to come but she's also too scared of thunder to be able to sleep

Silas seeing marcia drinking her 4th cup of coffee and just. Knocking it off the table. Oops :) guess she's going to have to sleep instead of relying on caffeine :)

Silas becomes another person who listens to marcias rants abt long dead magykal theorists

Unlike everyone else though, he also has ridiculously strong opinions on random people from centuries ago

It turns out that marcia actually can get silas to Do Things when she's not either yelling or ignoring him

It also turns out that a silas heap with self confidence can be scary enough to get ppl to leave marcia the hell alone

After a while silas is like "why did I ever think u were an emotionless asshole ur literally barely even functional"

This is after she's like. Tripped over a radish on the pavement or smth

That's all for now 😌😌 also @ananas-pineapple-thing here is some hcs 👀👀👀👀

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[kheta]

The Lesbian One

SakuHina head canon where the dark haired, noble clan inheriting child she falls in love with is Hinata instead of Sasuke. 

Bullies were making fun of Sakura for her forehead and Hinata said, through bright red blushes that she thinks Sakura is the prettiest girl Hinata knows, other than her Mother.

This gives Sakura self-confidence of doom and she doesn’t care about her looks anymore because suck on that, kind, cool Hinata thinks she’s the prettiest girl around!

Sakura giving Hinata the support she deserves.

Hinata being grateful and always reminding Sakura how cool Sakura is.

Hinata still being shy, but working on her shyness because there’s no way Sakura doesn’t praise the very ground her crush walks on.

“HINATA-CHAN! YOU DID IT! YOU’RE SO AWESOME! Isn’t she awesome Ino????”

Academy Arc:

Hinata told Sakura she wanted to be a strong shinobi like her father, but kind like her mother and Sakura heard “I wanna be the strongest ninja out!” To make sure her crush succeeds in her goals, Sakura promised to be the best kunoichi ever, so her and Hinata could be equals.

She studies to be the top kunoichi of her year and trains with Hinata a lot, complementing Hinata for every hit she makes and drowns Hinata in support.

Sakura hates Naruto. With a passion, nothing to do with Naruto being Naruto and everything to do with Hinata crushing on him. This hate manifests in her declaring them rivals.

Sakura is 100% the type to wonder why her rivals an idiot and to feel frustrated that an idiot like Naruto makes Hinata blush or laugh. The angrier she is the more she demands to spar him in taijutsu, they both get dramatically good at it.

Sakura because if Naruto drags a fight to stamina he’d totally win, so she figures she needs to get stronger with her form, finish the fight sooner. Naruto because he’s always been a hands on person and kata’s don’t make any sense to him, but whatever Sakura-chan does works for her, so he doesn’t mind copying her. Plus, Sakura's scary strong when she wants to be and Naruto makes a point of not getting hit from her.

Naruto becomes the fastest ninja in their year...Whenever Sakura’s involved. Not even Sasuke can catch him when he’s running from Sakura and he’s tried, it’s good practice.

Hinata once made an off-handed remark when she was training that Naruto has some pretty large chakra coils and Sakura’s been trying to increase her chakra coils since. (Muttering, “Stupid Naruto can barely hold a kunai right without me having to smack him sideways but he’s the one Hinata compliments?”) Moral is Sakura makes him a very competent ninja, but only because she’s like “An idiot like you can’t even aim properly, look at me, I’m better! Shifting my weight properly, unlike you!” and Naruto just copies her because to prove people wrong is in his blood and if she can do it, then all he has to do is copy her to do it better.

Unfortunately she can’t do much for his chakra control in the academy.

Everyone at the academy except Ino and Shikamaru thinks Sakura likes Sasuke because once she during an argument with Ino she screamed that “DON’T BE STUPID I LIKE” Pointed at Hinata, who happened to be with Sasuke. She didn’t finish the sentence because she looked at Hinata when she pointed and Hinata smiled and she melted.

Sasuke figures out Sakura doesn’t like him when he notices she blushes around Hinata more than him and this one time Hinata dropped one of her salves, so he gave it back to her the next day in class and the glare she gave him was telling.

As long as you’re not Hinata, Sakura has no problem expressing her crush. When Hinata’s around she never says I like you Hinata, but her actions are telling.

Sakura and Ino are still best friends because only Ino wants Sasuke and they only fight when Ino says Sasuke is better than Hinata.

Ino gets way better at taijutsu as well, because if her best friends going to be the strongest kunoichi then hell no is Ino gonna get left behind.

It gets to a point where Inoichi’s like “Ino darling you don’t need to be so serious about taijutsu, you know how we Yamanaka fight” and Ino’s like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HELL NO IS SAKURA GONNA BE STRONGER THAN ME, I REFUSE TO BE PROTECTED BY HER!!!!”

Genin Arc:

Hinata is an oblivious eggplant and thinks Sakura is just a very supportive friend.

Kiba, “She asked you to live happily with her as the strongest kunoichi in the future,”

Hinata, eyes sparkling, “Yeah isn’t it cool, I’m so lucky to have such a supportive friend with me.”

Kiba ships Hinata and Happiness (it’s canon guys) so he’s Sakura’s biggest wingman but Hinata manages to turn every cute, romance-y moment they have into a friend thing.

Kiba could see Sakura’s crush from a mile away, it wasn’t until the Chunin exams that he realised they weren’t dating though. This is when he begins being Sakura’s wingman.

Scene:

Kiba looks over at Hinata, “You know...If we meet Sakura and them in this exam, I won’t let you hold back. We’ve worked too hard for your feelings to stop us and if she’s the enemy, we face her.”

Hinata smiles softly at Kiba and stammers out, “I’d never do that, Sakura-chan would hate it if I held back against her, as her friend I will fight her with my all!”

“I do not believe Kiba means your feelings as her friend? Why? Because it is clear he is speaking of the deeper connection you two share.”

“Ano– Ino-san is her best friend, though Sakura-chan and I are certainly good friends.”

Cue two more minutes of them tryna coax Hinata to admit her and Sakura have something before they realise Hinata doesn’t know about Sakura’s crush and looking at each other in amazement because like. Now that they’re genin, Sakura is way less subtle because she misses Hinata and wtf, how had Hinata not realised yet?

Also Sakura wins her fight with Ino bc Ino’s strong af but she doesn’t have any concrete goal in mind, she’s just getting strong to be Sakura’s equal and Sakura’s like ‘giiiirl I’m tryna be the strongest to protect my wife you hear!’

When Sakura meets Neji she understands what true hatred is and it’s only Kakashi’s warning her that Hinata would hurt more if she jumped in that stopped her from trying to fight him. She doesn’t speak to Kakashi for the whole month she trains, trying to justify if Hinata’s pride was worth her life.

She totally trains with Gai for that month because Kakashi is lazy and Gai was around and Sakura is hella strong, she just needs motivation like Gai!

Hinata still has a big fat crush on Naruto until shippuden and when she canon confesses and nearly dies, Sakura confesses to her and says shit like “You don’t have to love me/ I’ve accepted that you won’t, no matter how hard I try. But as your friend I want you to promise, you won’t ever do something so reckless. I don’t wnt to lose you Hinata. You’re my special person I can’t lose you.”

Hinata is 140% confused and then like. She just notices Sakura. How fucking cool and kind she is and she’s always appreciated Sakura and thought she was beautiful but. She’s never really looked at those arms and damn are they defined. And her smile just makes Hinata feel at ease?

There’s no big crisis for Hinata, she realises quite quickly she’s getting feels for her bff but like shes Hinata. Sakura confesses a crush she’s had for years on this girl with the self confidence of a potato chip and said potato chip pines bc shes an idiot potato

everyone is Big Mad, even fucking Naruto

hes like ‘girl i cant like u. its against the bro code, pls talk to my bff’ and hinata is thinking ‘i know u ass. i just cant tho. shes legit perfection and ive hyped her up my whole life even if we like eavh other it wont work and family and a motherfuckn war’

Gaiden Arc:

THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER OKAY! STRONGEST KUNOICHI COUPLE EVER! 10/10 ADORED BY EVERYONE. HINATA ISN’T CLAN HEAD BUT SHE’S ONE OF THE BEST DIPLOMATS IN TOWN, SAKURA IS THE TOP HEALER AND THEY’RE BOTH BLACK OPS MEMBERS. HINATA TRAINS ANBU IN INFILTRATION AND SAKURA TAKES THEM IN MEDICAL STUDIES. THEY ARE HAPPY ASF

[disaster-j]

HOW ARE WE FEELING oh my fucking god. This was like. An amazing episode holy fuckkkkk. First we got like pangwave sharing earphones and :((((( wave is legit the best like OMG WE ARE PRISONERS ARE U NOT ALLOWING ME TO PEE WTF i hated punn for the first part and then now i love him wtf??????? and claire doesnt like him anymore oh no punn is probably going to cry and also everyone leaving pang was heartbreaking as always and i SCREAMED when chanon came ALSO CHANON DROVE THEM TO POM U KNOW [1/?]

WHAT THAT MEANSSSSS but then pom and supot are fucking cowards i hate them i hate them everything was going so well oh and im so glad that pang didnt mind control holy shit!!!!! Ik im scrambling all over holy hell omg i still dk what happened w the ministry and shit and also yeah wtf was that egg ad again what. Also i love time grace and third a lot!!!!!! And i think that was all ok wow i cant

afagahsvhwhs im sorry I took a whole week to reply😭 I didnt mean to ignore you I swear! When I saw the ask I was still processing so I thought I'd answer it later except then I just forgot like I forget everything not directly in front of me😔 Sorry!!!!

So, by now you'll likely have watched the new episode but know that I haven't and probably won't tonight cause I have some stuff to do rn. So imma just talk about what I thought was going on this past week and you can tell me if I'm right?

1. WE ARE FEELING TIRED AND MAD while the writing on this show is amazing, being a Punn stan is HARD rn my child is hurting and no one cares enough to do anything about it😭

2. Goddam the pangwave in that episode was so amazing! That earphone scene agsyhshw if that's not a sign they're endgame then WHAT ISSSS!?!? Also, yes, Wave is so incredible this season every scene with him is a blessing.

3. I ca totally understand not liking Punn rn. I feel that way about Mon what with her constantly ignoring the fact that Korn tried to mass murder a bunch of children and only caring about him and his wellbeing and nothing else but yeah Punn! I don't like him siding with the ministry any more than the next person but I can understand why he did it. Rn he's feeling betrayed and is isolating himself. He's at his most vulnerable and Darin has been using it as an opportunity to manipulate him into doing her bidding. We've seen how she's been using her relationship with his family to get him to trust her since she showed up and bc of Korn's betrayal she was finally able to accomplish that. Punn is only siding with her bc he wants things to be better and he doesn't want to be at war anymore. He's a kid, that's a perfectly valid thing to want. But ultimately, it's not his choice. They're at war either way and he chose the side he thought would do the most good, not realising that neither side outweighs the other in terms of evil shit they're willing to pull. So yeah, I love him and as always I am hella worried for my boy.

4. It sucked so much seeing everyone leave Pang but I can't say I didn't see it coming. He'd lost their trust a while ago and so far he hasn't done anything that would help get it back. Even Wave has his reservations about Pang right now, despite him being the only one to stick around I don't think he fully trust Pang like he used to. Not to say he thinks Pang is using him or doing something bad, but just that he doesn't quite believe in Pang's leadership the way he used to. At least that's what I've gotten so far.

5. CHANON! AND! POM! How dare they bring those two so close and yet not let them meet wtf is up with that!?!? There's some big reveal coming for Chanon x Pom I just know it. I swear when Pom was trying to take the vials from them I was so sure Chanon would walk in and stop him but then nothing? Fucking? Happened??? I was so confused. How did he really just drop em off at the gate and just? Left???? Wtf?!?!? I hope they shed some light on that in today's episode and if they didn't imma riot. I'm tireeeeed this show is tiring me when will it end so I can write my cutesy au about Punn and his alters, one of whom is Rome who falls in love with Bright ugh I just wanna write the cute fics I wanna be done with this stress😭

6. I get why like we DO NOT want him becoming Supot 2.0 which is very likely to happen if he let's the power get to his head. But him not using at all even in crucial moments like that just gives me major Todoroki from Spirts Festival Arc vibes and I just wanna be Izuku and scream "IT'S YOUR POWER" like just use it for good instead of evil man!!! Lives are at stake!!!!!

7. What is the egg girl why is the egg girl i dont get why they are doing this to me how far are they gonna take this nonsense i have so many questions ugh but hey maybe if we all collectively ignore her existence it will go away?

8. I love the babies! Ngl I thought they were annoying episode one but now they are my new children and I love them and shall protect them with my life no one better hurt the children or I will riot!!!! Especially Time, no one touch Time, only happy moments for baby!!!!

That's it, that's all I've got, please tell me we get some real answers this episode? Or, better yet, Punn gets far away from Darin and actually talks to his alters instead of acting like they don't exist??

[kinktae]

How dare you bitchin!jungkook ?! HOW DARE YOU ?!

very NOT spoiler free bitchin’ 8 asks under the cut

Y/N SUPPORT GROUP

deliciouslydisturbed365 said: I just read chapter 8 and holy fuck I’m nauseous. Poor Y/N 😭

queen-emon said: What the literal FUCK man, I just read Bitchin 08 and like im so broken. I never ever consider Y/n and I to be the same person but this time I felt like we were the same person both getting our hearts crushed by the man we loved so dearly. I AM NOT OKAY WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME! THIS IS SO NOT GROOVY :(

Anonymous said: Me🤝y/n Repressing our emotions

madjammil said: I am legit crying. Poor y/n! I cannot believe Jungkook slept with Kiri! My heart is broken. I thought these two were finally getting together and he goes and does this dumb shit! Smh. Aside from that, your writing was amazing as always! I love this series so much!

YARA BULLY JK PETITIONERS

Anonymous said: omg i can’t believe jungkook is rly going to get his dickie chopped off 😍😍😍 deserve! can’t wait until yara finds out

Anonymous said: Ignore jk, y/n!!! Gosh she deserve so much better than a fboi who only cares about how he feels physically!! Ahole to the max and I need her to slap him! Yara can join along the slapping game!! But srsly he needs to learn his words alone can’t mend this and I hope y/n doesn’t give in so easily cuz he deserves cold shoulders from her for a very long time and don’t just rely on charms to get his way. Ik he was trouble from the start 😔 y/n dear don’t worry you deserve better

casualxexistence said: So 👉👈 um like is there like ANy chance that we get to see our baby yara’s reaction to this 🥺🥺🥺👼 bc um well I would kinda love to see her hand both jk and kiri there asses bc they aren’t gonna hAVE ANY AFTER SHE FINISHES WITH THEM RIP

Anonymous said: dude, what if y/n hooks up with tae and starts beef between jk and him while yara bitch slaps kiri….. dude bitchin’ has such good drama theories wtf literally anything is possible at this point

Anonymous said: if yara doesn’t punch kook can I punch him? Not as the oc I meant like me BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK

forvever-ddaeng said: I keep rereading this last part like it’s somehow gonna change or it won’t make me sad the more I read it but it’s having the opposite effect and now I want Yara to beat Jungkook’s ass smh

Anonymous said: WTFFFFFFF YARA GONNA HUNT DOWN AND KICK JUNGKOOK ASS FOR HURTING HER BABY

JUNGKOOK ANTIS:

Anonymous said: what the fuck is wrong with bitchin’!jungkook does he think with his dick i wanna kick his ass

Anonymous said: why jungkook would do something like that if he likes y/n? i would be so mad at him too like… isn’t that kind of cheating? he didn’t say if he was back together with his ex but he slept with her so that must mean something, she probably thinks it means something. he was really stupid 

omgtaehyungsmullett said: i know jungkook fucking with me, dammit 😡

Anonymous said: I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD JUNGKOOK DO THAT WHY

ausjeons said: Jungkook what the fuck!!! I could slap you silly after reading part 8 😪😩

Anonymous said: Team make jk suffer for awhile and then be able to patch things up with the oc 🤝

Anonymous said: I read ch8 last night and this weighed heavily on my mind all day like why is jk such a hoe? Like how could he just sleep with Kiri just like that. I think these children are very confuzzled with their feelings. After he slept with Kiri, did he rush to y/n bc he knew this was the end of their “relationship”? One last passionate banger goodbye 😟 my 💔 broken heart

Anonymous said: I ain’t even sad. I’m full on rage mode. WHO TF GAVE JK THE AUDACITY , THE ABSOLUTE BRAWN TO STICK HIS DICK IN KIRI AND THEN , NOT EVEN A FULL DAY LATER ( cuz yk that would be farrr too gracious ) WITHOUT A WARNING , WITHOUT A FRICKING GOOD MORNING EVEN , GOES TO FUCK OC AND THINKS THAT’S OKAY???? Good to know OC and whatever his relationship was with her was worth less than a nut😒

Anonymous said: i’m actually sad… like wow. i really expected him to go back, i really did. but even though i knew it’d happen, it still hurt, y’know? i think that made it worse; knowing that he’d go back to her in the end… shit’s fucked up, really. great job writing it. i could literally feel the emotion from this one.

Anonymous said: Bitchin ch 8…..oh wow the smut was so nice and fluffy but wtf JJK messed up big time. Honestly I don’t think he deserves oc after this. She deserves someone who isn’t so unsure of his feelings that it takes getting back together with and sleeping with someone else to realise it. If he really liked her, he wouldn’t have slept with Kiri.

Anonymous said: “ArE YOu MAd?” Srsly what brand of clown juice is Bitchin JJK drinking?

Anonymous said: TAE AND Y/N HOES BRO ENTER THE NEW SHIP FUCK JK

cchristinnaa said: Jk really did yn like a pocket pussy huh

Anonymous said: HOW COULD JUNGKOOK OH MY GOOODDDDDDDDDDD literally men aint SHIT….. the part where y/n said you got what you wanted from me🥺🥺🥺🥺 I FELT THAT ugh i love the angst

Anonymous said: Hope jk dieS from jealousy next ch. And regrets it skdhdhd :( jk. Hope they get their sht 2gether soon or im gon 😷😖😭

diortae said: me: *explaining to bitchin 8 jk why he’s a dick for calling Y/N his “pretty girl” immediately after fucking her raw the morning after he slept with his ex* 

jk: well, you know what they say. hindsight is 20/20 

me: KINDA SEEMS LIKE REGULAR SIGHT SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT THAT ONE

Anonymous said: JUNGKOOK IS ABOUT TO MEET THESE FISTS UP CLOSE THATS ON GOD THAT DUMBASS LIMP DICK BITCH REALLY FUCKED UP

Anonymous said: I HATE JJK HES AN ASS FOR GG DOWN ON 2WOMEN HE CAN JUS F HIMSELF RN

Anonymous said: JUNGKOOK IS GONNA GET HIS ASS BEATEN UGHSHHSKDHXJSJ MOTHERFUCKER WHAT? WHAT??? THIS BITCH IS A RIDE OR DIE AND UR GOING AFTER FAKEASS KIRI REALLY? FOR REAL I THOUGHT UOU WERE BETTER THAN THIS BUT NO ALL MEN DO IS LIE LIE LIE

Anonymous said: the way i closed the tumblr app when i saw jungkook saying “kiri came over last night”

Anonymous said: alright we beating jk’s ass @ noon 😤

Anonymous said: WHY WOULD JUNGKOOK DO THAT TO OC LIKE WHAT I AGREE WITH OC HE USED HER AND THAT MAKES ME 😡😡😡😡😡

Anonymous said: BITCHIN PART 8 WTFGGGG MY HEART Do be Hurting . i’m going to beat jungkook up !!!!

betysotelo18 said: It’s been a few minutes since I read part 8 and I can’t stop thinking about what could happen next… the meanwhile F U jeon Jungkook, you did wrong

Anonymous said: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I CANT 😭 WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THIS CHAPTER HUUUU JUNGKOOK WTFF BRO…….. my heart is breaking for them. Why can’t they just date already wkxbdbbdjdjdjdjdjdj this is onky misunderstanding right? and thankyou for the new chapter sis hihuhihih💕💕

Anonymous said: im shocked i dunno who i hate more rn you or jungkook. my heart is literally SHATTERED he better fix this or else im traveling to the 80s just to kick his ass 😭🤬

Anonymous said: never want to punch jungkook in the face like i wanna do right now

Anonymous said: JUNGKOOK WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK 🤬 for the love of god rose why do u did that to me i wanna die

Anonymous said: ROSE WTF WAS THAT MAN !!! my heart it hurts and like wtf jungpuke!! Why would he do that to reader !! why would he sleep with kiri and then sleep with reader ?!? Like go siekkeksjdjejjejdbehhe i wish i can put in reaction pictures in here

CUTIE PIES

Anonymous said: Omggg thank you so so much for this chapter, for the whole fic. Thank you for sharing it with us. You are a great writter. Seriously! I just love how every chapter is so intense. Not only the smut is amazing but every detail, every action, the whole plot, all of the dialogues. I actually cried at the end I love how I can really feel everything. All the emotions. Ah and they’re so cute!!! But why was JK so weak? Even if that’s what you wanted since the beginning… I thought- BOY WTF??? :’( But seriously this is the type of thing I love, I am WEAK for this. The slow burn, the oblivious idiots that love each other but keep suffering thing. And you write it so well. Your mind!!! Your talent!!! I love it. Thank you, for real ♥♥♥ I’m antecipating the next chapter, but already sad that it’s almost ending :((( I’m gonna miss this a lot. Anyways, take your time, baby. And have a nice day! ♥♥♥ (Sorry for bad english btw)

tinievmin said: ROSE. IM IN PAIN. I FELT THE BREAKUP BETWEEN YN AND JUNGKOOK. IM SO SADDD. But not related to the plot, your writing is ART. You always make it flow so well aND WOW!!! I don’t have enough words to express how much I love your works

AND FINALLY, AN INTELLECTUAL

Anonymous said: kiri is a bitch i said what i said

[mortuarybees]

do u have any more good omens fic recs?

oh boy do i. some of them are fics that i have included in my fic rec tag so if you’ve been in that bear with me there will also be others. basically my preferred and only accepted genre of anything is “unbearably tender” and “aziraphale is extremely neurotic and crowley loves him anyway” it’s therapeutic

at some point im going to update the original reference post with like. all the amazing content ive come across since making it but until then:

one may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel by lumosity aka @femmeaziraphale aka my very best friend

they have started another fic intended to destroy my life in which hell wins the next round and divines a special torment for crowley pls read it and encourage them to finish it because they don’t believe me when i tell them it’s amazing and i am  d e s p e r a t e  for more.

 “You know, you’re very familiar,” Aziraphale said, breath stinking of the sweet wine.

 “Oh? I guess I look like many goat herders,” Crowley allowed. Aziraphale snorted, nudging Crowley’s shoulder clumsily.

 “No! I mean that you just seem like someone I’ve known before,” Aziraphale said. Crowley felt that familiar ache in his chest. Suddenly he wished he was sober.

 “I have a common face,” Crowley dodged.

 “Say whatever you like, but I feel like we fit together quite nicely,” Aziraphale said, resting his head against the bark of the tree. Crowley took the opportunity to watch Aziraphale while he had his eyes closed. There were the same old blonde eyelashes against his cheeks, the one little drop of sunlight that formed a mole at the corner of his eye. Crowley wished to kiss his cheek only once. An apology for not losing. For not giving Aziraphale an eternity of listening to celestial harmonies.

wings and how to hide them by triedunture

Crowley's been annoyingly in love for six thousand years. What's another lifetime between friends? // if you follow me you’ve probably seen me post or quote certain excerpts a million times you may recognize it as His Body Is A Place And It’s Filled With Love.

He swallowed. So bloody awkward, staring up at Aziraphale like this, having his face held. Was he supposed to maintain eye contact? It seemed impossible. His gaze darted away.

"Keep your eyes fixed on me," Aziraphale admonished, giving his cheek a little pat. "Try to imagine, I don't know...slipping into my body the way you'd slip into a new coat." His smile was weak.

Crowley made a face. "Sounds grotesque."

"It isn't! Come now." His voice and eyes softened. "Please. Try."

Deep breath in. He would try. For Aziraphale's sake. "All right." He opened his eyes, held Aziraphale's plaintive stare, and pictured how it would feel. To be a part of Aziraphale. To be held inside him, to surround him at the same time.

To be loved.

hand in unlovable hand by courfeyrock (les mis solidarity)

“Goodnight, my dear,” he says, and Crowley swears, Aziraphale could call him my dear for six thousand more years and he still wouldn’t be able to get used to it. // it’s tender it’s bed sharing it’s “i love you in the human way” it’s quoting that unspeakable broadchurch scene its title is from no children by tmg; in short, it’s specifically designed to torment me.

Crowley’s head snaps around as if on a swivel. “Shall we… what?”

“Go to sleep? Normally I would love to stay up and have a drink or a chat but you see I really am exhausted and I--”

“Yes, yes, of course.”  Idiot,  Crowley thinks.  I am such an idiot.  "I'll uh, I'll sleep underneath the covers, and you can sleep on top." He waves his hand in a forcefully casual gesture that he hopes conveys just how normal it is for two platonic friends to be having this conversation.

everything just stops by witching

they are drunk and crowley wants to take a bath so he miracles one and they have. the most unbearable conversation ever fucking put to fiction literally returning to it to select one single quote was nearly impossible for me emotionally. god the tenderness the yearning!!!! “i like your silly aziraphale things”!!!!!!!!!! “i love you deep, angel”!!!!!! i hate it! just read it please i cant actually keep describing it or i’ll have to lay down for a little while.

 “Are you –” the angel’s voice was hoarse, and he paused to clear his throat, “are you playing some sort of game right now?”[....]

“I am not,” Crowley whispered fervently, his face frighteningly close to Aziraphale’s. “Six thousand yearsss, angel. You’re a part of me, and I jussst – just wanted you to know, is all.”

 Without warning, Aziraphale reached with both hands to pull Crowley in closer, forcing him to drop his own hand from the angel’s face. Aziraphale held him gently, pressing a single chaste kiss to the demon’s forehead, his lips lingering as his thumbs slid tenderly along his cheekbones, his fingers wrapped up in dark, dripping hair.

 When Crowley responded not by recoiling, as Aziraphale had expected, but by melting against his skin and sighing contentedly, the angel placed another kiss on one cheek, then the other. He moved to kiss Crowley’s eyelids, his jawline, his chin, the corners of his mouth, all the time cradling Crowley’s head in his hands, waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Crowley to rebuff his affection.

Crowley, ever one to defy expectations, continued to allow the angel to kiss his face to his heart’s content. It was only when he heard Crowley sniff and let out a pitiful whimper that he pulled back, looking at the demon with concern.

hard feelings/loveless by witching

Aziraphale said it was like the opposite of the feeling you’re having when you say things like “this feels spooky.” Crowley didn’t know what to make of that, but he expected it was something like the opposite of the feeling you get when the only person who truly knows you makes a cryptic remark suggesting that you can’t understand love. Crowley understood love all too well. // crowley. crowley can’t sense love bc he is so goddamn full of love that he can’t see past it he’s just so full of it that he can’t separate it from just how he always is  c r o w l e y. also angelic/demonic mindmelding.

“What about - I mean, if that’s… love,” he struggled to get the word out, “then what’s this other feeling? The one that I’ve been calling love for all this time?”

 “I don’t know,” Aziraphale said. “I can’t possibly imagine.” He didn't have to voice his surprise at the fact that Crowley had an emotion he called love. It wasn't that he had truly thought Crowley was incapable of such an emotion; he was deeply aware of the power and range of the demon's feelings. He simply hadn't thought that Crowley was in tune with his own mind enough to understand it in those terms.

 “Can I show you?” Crowley blurted without thinking.

come as you are by punkfaery (explicit; trigger warning for body dysmorphia and disordered eating)

Aziraphale visits a modern art gallery, goes on a diet, and submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known. Not necessarily in that order. // this mugged me in an alleyway and ruined me emotionally for a whole night but like whatever. it starts with a mary oliver quote so idk what i expected

He dragged a kitchen chair out and sat in it, looking like he wanted to set fire to things with the power of his mind. He was probably angry enough to try it, too. Aziraphale moved a nearby copy of The Earth Compels out of the way, just in case. “It wasn’t really because of him,” he said. “It just made me realise, that’s all.”

“Realise what?”

Aziraphale swallowed. “That I’m not… quite as I should be. That you deserve better.” He lowered his head, feeling wretched. “That’s all. I’m sorry I didn’t say something from the start, but it seemed like a difficult sort of thing to bring up.”

Crowley’s face was indescribable.

“You thought I’d stop liking you because you’re not thin,” he said. His voice was utterly toneless. A muscle ticked in his jaw.

“Well, naturally when you say it like that it sounds – ”

“Seriously? After six thousand years of, of whatever you want to call this? After we literally saved the fucking world together?”

salinity (and other measurements of brackish water) by drawlight

It's an odd thing, getting on after the End of the World. Crowley takes to sea-watching. // michael sheen has read and recommended it. god. it starts with a quote from eros the bittersweet. it took me a full half hour to read past the first paragraph or so it’s so Much.

"I want to see you cook." (Something made from his hands. Something purely Crowley. Nothing pulled from the ether. Nothing sourced and given, no. Something made from his hands.)

He looks at his hands. Holds them up, splays them against the shale backdrop of his ceiling. His hands are always the same, day to day. They are clean but stained. His long and dawdling fingers, his bit of knuckles, his veins and tendons beginning to show a little more. Yes, more, he doesn't know the age of his body but he keeps it somewhere here, at indeterminate forty. There is a hangnail on the ring finger, there are stains of belladonna on the sides, on the rough spots.

Belladonna, that green plant sick with chlorophyll, sick with poison. Crowley is a gardener and he grows belladonna in his bedroom. He knows poisons the way Aziraphale knows the Dewey Decimal System. Yes, he knows them intimately, bent over his long counter, pulling the leaves apart, peeling the stems. Crushing the seeds. He knows not to lick his fingers after, that the leaves and berries are toxic to a grown man, that maybe even Livia had used it once, dripped into Augustus' wine. Not, really, that poisons would  matter  . It’s one of those little perks of the demon gig, that whole  immortality thing. What can get at him; what can cut it short? Only holy water and other blessed things. (Aziraphale is an angel, made out of blessed things. Crowley does not know how it might be to kiss him, mouth to wet mouth. If holy water might burn him, what can he expect from the freshwater mouth of an angel?)

birds of a feather by idiopathicsmile

Aziraphale nests. Crowley relearns some crucial facts about angelic courtship rituals. // look....im weak for home decorating as proxy or metaphor for domesticity and familiarity and this trope is literally this. i die

“Demons definitely don’t court,” says Crowley. “They fuck sometimes, but it’s—I don’t know if you’ve ever seen anything about the mating practices of insects but it’s more—like that. There’s no guarantee all parties will come out in one piece. Never seemed worth it, frankly. I like my pieces where they are.”

Aziraphale takes this all in with a series of slow, horrified nods.

“Wait,” says Crowley, “what do angels do?” He’s never pictured angels engaging with each other at all, outside of maybe mandatory team-building exercises.

“They nest,” says Aziraphale.

Crowley waits for this to all make sense. “What, instead of fucking?”

“No,” says Aziraphale primly. “Not  instead. It’s—it’s part of the courtship ritual. You have to be able to build a decent nest if you want to be seen as a viable mate—”

“Like birds,” Crowley repeats, disbelieving.

“Not like birds, birds got it from us,” shrills Aziraphale.

men have gone to heaven for smaller things than that by mercuryhatter

Aziraphale finds an age slipping away from him. // aziraphale and crowley attend robbie ross’ funeral, and aziraphale mourns the loss of the old circle. also there’s some brief dunking on bosie. i adore this fic with my whole heart

“Listen.” Aziraphale took Crowley’s elbow and dragged him out of earshot of the funeral, releasing him under a nearby tree. “It’s not that I’m not glad you’re back. Remember that, because I’m about to be very short with you, but it’s not that.” He raised an eyebrow questioningly and Crowley nodded.

“That being said.” Aziraphale took a deep breath. His voice was shaking slightly and he tried to press it back to steadiness inside his throat. “You will not get near one more human under my charge this decade, are we clear?”

“Angel–” Crowley started, surprised, but Aziraphale cut him off. Fury was bubbling up inside of him, bright and brittle and with a deeply-buried thread of exhaustion that he couldn’t afford to think too long about.

“No.”

where you stay i will stay by mercuryhatter

at the hundred guineas club, men went under women’s names. aziraphale went by naomi and he paid! to keep ruth free! for crowley!!!! while crowley slept! it stopped my tender heart

“Let’s see. We all know Victoria, of course. Betsey, Henrietta, Georgiana, Chastity, that’s rich, and Temperance too, particular friends of each other, I imagine? A few Elizabeths, not particularly creative… oh.” Crowley nudged Aziraphale until he peeked up from his place hidden in Crowley’s sweater. “Aziraphale.”

“No, dear, I didn’t put that one down.” Crowley huffed in fond exasperation.

“No, honey, you put Naomi.”

“So I did.”

“And… I don’t see a Ruth.”

“No,” Aziraphale sighed. “No, I paid them an extra hundred pounds a year to hold that one for me.”

“For you or for…”

and this isn’t a fic but another essay that means the world to me, making an effort: queer (trans) masculinity in the ethereal & occult beings of good omens by elegantidler and irisbleufic

[queeranarchist]

uhhh every 5th q for the ask meme?

:O

5) What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

uhhh first time i remember was when I cut my hair off - for an SPN Lucifer cosplay of all things - and was like hell yeah I look like a dude! Radical! and then was like oh that is not a very CisThought™️

10) What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?

you know i bought a pretty expensive packer and it was waaay too large despite being one of the smaller ones of that model - this was apparently a problem a lot of guys had and their were videos on how to cut it to make it fit but it cost a lot and i was too worried about ruining it - anyway i moved house three and a half times in six months and my stuff is currently in between two houses and I have No Idea where it is and in the back of my mind there is the constant fear that someone will find that dick 

15) What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

i’ve used pretty much every label sexuality wise bc attraction is weird. gender wise i ided as a trans man until last yearish and now im just like im queer in all senses

20) What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

prooobably a lot of gender abolitionist stuff like meets past self and just holds a reading group of Nobody Passes by Matt Sycamore - like i hate the transmed/truscum view point but i see that a lot of it is pushed by 15 year old trans guys and the whole wanting to be cis/as close to cis as possible and you can have pride in being LGB but not in being trans thing is pretty much how i experienced gender until last year where i was like time to make the Conscious effort to rework my thoughts, i didnt end up in the dysphoria discourse largely bc it wasnt a big thing when i first realised i was trans (lmao no trans issues were big things at that point) - in general i’d want to get myself to work on a more intersectional approach in terms of understanding that the gender binary is a western colonialist construct and that capitalism pushes queerphobia by wanting to minamalise community reliance and further their profit by pushing a nuclear child producing way of structuring relationships - basically get little me to turn all that angst and anger @ the system

25) What do you wish cis people understood?

that they arent the end goal, i detest the view they have that trans people should be glad to be told that they look like a “”””real”””” women/man - also that they dont need to understand, i dont give a flying fuck if they dont get how someone can identify differently to their assigned gender/be nonbinary/have a gender that changes, just use the right pronouns and name and be ya’know a decent person - and! that they dont need to know what “makes” someone trans and that that line of thinking veers dangerously towards eugenics

30) Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

ahhh good question - i realised i was trans in a pre Caitlyn Jenner pre Orange is the New Black era so a lot of it was just me figuring out shit on my own - which gotta say wasnt necessarily a bad thing bc more visibility has also lead to more bulshit

I would probably say Matt Sycamore - the first book i read that was edited by her was Why are Faggots so Afraid of Faggots and like the queer radicalism and like anarchy from that helped me figure out and voice some of my disquiet with queer assimilation stuff and also the big We Won the marriage campaign queer stuff is Done mood that was 2017 after Australia’s same sex marriage plebiscite. her book Nobody Passes which focuses purely on gender stuff also follows a similar vein and its very very good

35) How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

outside of queer stuff i fit into a pretty privileged life, defs gonna say class played a major noticeable role in being able to get hormones despite having to go through a whole court process (pretty sure the government being the Worst to baby me is what made me an anarchist) and get top surgery pretty quickly once out of high school, my whiteness also provides a certain protection when you see the much higher rates of violence at trans POC, and I'm also able to access queer events and spaces without having to consider accessibility etc

40) How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

mmmm honestly at the time it was the worst and looking back on it i am still very angry and bitter at both my school and, you know, the government in general

i did the whole im trans use the right name and pronouns @ the school people (with my parents there so they couldnt use that as an excuse) about nine months before they started doing so AND this was also after my parents flat out ignoring that I was trans for months before that and i did not uuhhh deal well with any of that mentally At All. my school was pretty much like yll be bullied we cant as if every kid i interacted with didnt already know - and when they eventually did it wasnt a big deal with kids - i only heard second hand about some shit that was said about me which gotta admit was kinda laughable bc i had people i barely knew tell me what people in my grade had said and i was like….dont know who that is but Okay - i was too out of the gossip loop to have anything to be upset about 😂 also i had two (2) teachers in the entire school that used the correct pronouns despite me fully out for near three years by the time i left school tho i didnt actually recognise how bad that was for me until i left high school and was like ???? dont want to die all the time ?? what is this

medically was also bulshit bc the australian system used to have anyone under 18 have to go through court to get HRT, it took me nearly three years and was incredibly fucked and even tho the laws been changed now i am still ready to throw down with whoever implemented it in the first place even tho their probably old and close to death themselves

ANYWAY in terms of providing a better answer than i didnt and was v sad and angry for a v long time - i surrounded myself with queer people, i ventured into the city for some youth queer groups, went to a camp purely for young queer people, read a lot of books about trans people etc 

Ask me questions ~

http://queeranarchist.tumblr.com/post/183686207345/datgenderqueerboi-trans-ask-game-what-has

[hanarchy]

i’ve recently realised that i keep entering into these friendships with girls where their level of commitment just does not match mine or rather my idea of it. like ive had a few best friends and every time we said we’d be best friends forever, we were lucky to have found each other, we felt like it was fate that brought us together, we were gonna live together, plan a life together, be grandmas together. and every time, as soon as a romantic relationship entered the picture for them, our friendship changed. and i never saw it coming, i never realised that i was doing something they weren’t, i never realised that like, yes our friendship was important to them but i wasn’t their life partner. i always thought they were going to be my life partner. every time. not in a romantic way and not in a way that like, would make romantic relationships impossible or even unwanted, just in a way where it was clear that i was their person and they were mine and it would last a lifetime. 

and every time i just felt replaced when they fell in love. like they just have someone else to support them, they have someone else to talk to about things that are intimate or embarrassing or both, they have someone else who they /primarily/ share their life with. and i lose the person who was all of that for me, because i feel a drop in interest or a drop in available time or a drop in energy put into our relationship. and i think thats partly to do with a failure on my part to show how deeply i am committed to them but it’s definitely also a cisheteropatriarchy behavior thing that they all just accept as normal and are happy with (even if they are in queer relationships) but that i somehow for some fucking reason cant and wont and dont want to be ok with. 

and its so painful. i always, like, in a really stupid way have wondered why heartbreak songs and shows and movies resonate with me at all when ive never ‘had my heart broken’, and ive always wondered why i am so reluctant to enter into any romantic relationship (seriously back when i was primarily interested in guys and a guy would show /any/ interest in me, like even just be interested to have a conversation with me (which everyone should btw im interesting and funny and smart and great to argue with) and i didnt find them repulsive, id sorta just..... drop all contact bc my subconscious was like ‘this could lead to a romantic relationship, they are of the ‘opposite sex’ u gotta get the hell outta here’) and honestly its because ive had my heart broken by every close friend ive ever had, which, im sorry, feels even sadder than romantic heartbreak because at the end of it you havent only lost a life partner and the trust that you can find a partner like that but youve also lost your social safety net and the trust that you can build ANY kind of relationship. its like, i have absolutely no blueprint, no foundation, no idea of what healthy relationship to another human looks like.

and the saddest thing is like, my female friends dont even realise its happening because to them its just normal that a romantic partner would take up this space, its normal that our friendship takes a backseat or they dont even realise that it is changing because its so natural to them that romantic relationships are the central relationships in a persons life. and they dont realise AT ALL that they are breaking up the relationship that i had made the central relationship in my life. and i feel like i shouldnt be hurting. up until like, right now i legitimately thought every time that i was being a bad friend or that i just didnt know what a romantic relationship was like and that i would understand once i’d had one. but like, im so tired of that, im so tired of thinking that and believing it and its also just not true. i swear to good i will smack the next person who tells me i’ll ‘understand once i’ve been in love’, because i do understand. i understand it so well. i understand heartbreak and i understand loving someone enough to want to spend the rest of your life with them and i understand commitment, the only thing i dont understand is why i cant have it.

[toomanyskeletons]

do all the oc asks ALL of them for AT LEAST two of your ocs (evil laughter)

“evil”

you act as if talking extensively about my ocs does not bring me joy (i’ll only do two probably bc i do have some asks from other people so i’ll have to do those with other ocs, and i’ll try to stick to the same two for the most part.

or three. maybe three.)

anyway let’s begin

1. if they had a tumblr, what would they post about?

Sam: hmm i think probably some blog like. Mostly trans positivity posts with scattered posts abt how much she loves her gf

Amelia: considering her popularity status she’d run some blog like. U kno the blogs tumblr celebrities run i guess? So like. Reblogging a few general funny posts and answering select asks while getting like 200 every day.

 2. what’s their favourite colour?

 Sam: she likes blue :o like. Light blues. Also she keeps her hair dyed light blue as well

Amelia: purple. Honestly idk much more i can say about this.

 3. What makes them laugh?

 Sam: shitty puns and memes, mostly. The type of person who laughs out loud when u just say ‘egg’. She’s probably still into ‘xD tacos’ random humour.

Amelia: the polar opposite of sam in this regard. Laughs at intellectual humor. Like. rich fancy people. I know it exists but i cant think of any specific examples. Politely laughs at things people say are funny but she does not find them actually funny.

 4. If they had one day left to live, how would they spend it?

 Sam: “lmao dw i’ll probably just go to hell anyway” wait no context is important. She’s like. Actually how do i make this not sound bad rip. Uh. basically she is a business partner of lucifer who is actually p chill but that’s another story

Anyway that means like. If she dies she’ll probably just come back as a ghost or a higher tier demon.

O fuk now i really wanna draw that

Amelia: panicking and trying to find a way to not die. She had things she wants to do and a public record to maintain and jeez  i just realised how much ames has changed compared the the first universe she was in. i mean YEAH completely different life experiences but rip

 5. Do they have any annoying habits?

 -this is really subjective bc of what different people consider annoying but

Sam: people say she laughs too much. That is not her annoying habit is, her annoying habit is tellling lucifer when people say that so lucifer can like. Ban them from reincarnation or put a curse on them or something like that. Also sometimes when she cant be bothered to go that extra step she might go into the past and become that person’s grandmother.

...that second one isnt really an annoying habit to most people but to the one guy who has to help keep control of time, it is a very annoying habit and what makes up like half of his job doings.

 Amelia: sometimes goes very over the top with things. One time she stole a magic book by becoming a security guard at the place where it was kept and then took the book and ran. So like, instead of doing things illegally, she did it also illegally and got a month’s pay from it as well.

I guess she’s like. Extra™

 6. What’s their favourite movie genre?

I s2fg i have mentioned this sometime in one of the long texts i have written involving these characters but i cant remember so

Sam: tbh probably more realistic/contemporary stuff, rom-coms, slice of life, coming of age etc. Like. her life is a science fiction/fantasy movie she’s a time traveler working with the dark lord lucifer ffs. Also she’d probably get annoyed on tiny details while watching historical stuff like

“That never happened”

“Sam it’s fiction, it’s a movie, how would they have known that”

“Well maybe they didn’t know it but it’s still fucking annoying”

 Amelia: probably similar to sam, her life is fuckin busy and always people and she’s famous so like. Escape from her life is to indulge in the normal things.

 Just as a side note this does take place in a modern-ish fantasy world so idk what fantasy movies would be considered there but. They exist. I’ll work this out sooner or later

 Also bonus character bc its fucking funny - Zeph: zephyr likes horror movies. She also likes to watch horror movies with her brother. Her brother does not share her same passion for horror movies. He has a certain threshold before he has to flee the room and cuddle someone. This is mostly why zeph likes horror movies. She is pretty picky with what she considers ‘good’ and spends most of her time making fun of horror movies.

And, like the rest of us, secretly freaks out when she is alone at night and hears a sound outside. But for significantly less long because she knows exactly how to make fun of it.

 7. What are their religious beliefs?

 Alright i might not (read: will not currently) answer this bc i’m still working out how to handle religion in this, bc basically there is historical evidence for how the world was created. But obviously that’s not the only component to religion?

Another point would be that actually i still havent got around to creating any religions yet.i still gotta get around to getting down a more detailed history of the world first but i am planning it

 8. What’s their current job (if they have one)?

Yes BITCH i have been WAITIGN for a question like this

 Sam: basically she made a deal with lucifer and runs many errands for them. But also they helped her a LOT when they helped her escape a shitty transphobic environment and also the two became best friends? So i mean she doesn’t get paid but that takes up a lot of her time

Also she, at one stage, becomes part of this thing called the council which i haven’t quite worked out how they work in this universe yet. Theyre a bunch of strong magic people who work in coordination with the Champion (more on this below) to put down rules about magic. Theyre a reused concept from this story i made when i was like. 10. So the idea does need some reworking.

 Amelia: amelia is the champion, which is basically the title given to the person who wins at a big magic competition. Its a p big job, lots of publicity and pr and often regretted by the people who do end up getting there

(like? This one guy? He was kinda like “oh yeah sounds fun” and then he fucking won and he was like “lmao i’ll lose next year” and then he kept the position for 7 years and after that got so fucking sick of it he faked his assassination and became a reclusive mysterious millionaire)

Anyway she enjoys it for the first while until there is a real threat of her being assassinated unlike the aforementioned dude

But she enjoys being around people to an extent, and like. She enjoys making people happy, so

 9. How do they react to confrontation?

 Sam: similar way to what i described before. Like. jsut the little things. Cursing them with the help of lucifer, becoming their grandmother, you know. The usual ways people deal with confrontation.

Amelia: curiosity, further questioning, keeping calm, kinda just. Being chill about it. She wants to make herself a better person, in general, and if someone is deliberately being a confrontational asshole she prefers to just state her point calmly.

 10. Do they have a criminal record?

 Sam: you know? Probably? She kills a bunch of assholes where it’s required, but also she legally doesn’t exist? So? Idk? She’s been arrested a few times, but considering there is no information on her existence at all-

*shrugs* idfk how the law works.

 Amelia: well, technically, no, she only did illegal things last universe and had a pretty fancy upbringing this universe, so there was no reason for her to do the illegals and also like. Public image and stuff. She worries a lot about public image.

 11. What’s their favourite plant?

 Another thing which i feel i have mentioned somewhere but idfk where

 Sam: likes hydrangeas. They’re pretty.

Amelia: can i just say. It is definitely not catnip. Actually. Maybe? Like. she had some pretty fuckin negative experiences with catnip where she destroyed reality for like a solid five seconds by accident and went to purgatory, but also she made two life friends out of it, so? Maybe catnip after all.

 12. Can they play any instruments?

 Sam: “does the kazoo count”

Amelia: nope

 But because this was boring, i’m going to do a special guest feature from her half brother ryan who is a semi-popular youtube vlogger/musician-y dude. or . whatever this world’s equivalent of youtube is. Uh. metube. Yotube. I’ll think about it.

 Ryan: he plays the guitar and sings and he’s damn fucking good at it and he knows it. Also he shares the same combination of forgetting how to outlet his anger in healthy ways + poor impulse control which means that about once every six months he has to buy a new guitar because he couldn’t get that song right and he hit the guitar against the floor.

(his dad is a writer and also an archangel,and one time he couldn’t work out how to start off a scene right so he exploded his laptop and had to use a typewriter for the four weeks while his other archangel buddy was fixing it - i’m getting off topic here)

 13. What are they proudest of?

 Sam: i guess just. Her life in general? Like. she’s survived up to this point, she’s doin shit, maybe not the shit she expected to be doing or the shit she imagined she’d be doing but she’s still doin it. Like. fuck you life. I survived. And she’s proud of that.

Amelia: that one time when she managed to keep her champion title the first time? And also when she made friends with the guy who she thought was a girl and also dead who turned out to be not a girl and alive and also was the champion for seven years rememebr that guy yeah that’s this guy. Anyway she made friends with him after settling some differences. And also when she stopped a whole organisation from murdering her yeah that was good too.

 14. What’s their biggest insecurity?

 Sam: okay this is Definitely Not Me Projecting here (hint: it’s me projecting) but she hates being seen as masculine at all and is very insecure when people refer to her or see her as masculine? Like if u call her butch She Will Cry and also why would you do that bc her and her girlfriend are femme as heck

Amelia: public image public image public image public image

Like. she doesn’t want to look bad, or like a bad public leader, but also, she just wants to do her own thing, u kno?

 15. What do they most often dream about?

Like. literally dream or daydream?

 Sam: probably. Mostly happy stuff. Plus random occasional vivid recollections of tramatic experiences.

Amelia: honestly who the fuck knows (i’d answer this properly but I am Almost Out O f Time)

 So yes almost out of time but thank you so much and doing this has inspired me to just completely rework my first book to make it more interesting

I know that sounds bad btu its not i promise i love oyu

(also there was a bunch of different formatting like italcs etc that was lost when icopied from here to docs sorry)

[danielricciardos]

lol i just found an old fic of mine (sebson bc what else) and damn its so well written why cant i write like this anymore

Seb is haunted by the memory of a painfully drunk Jenson hovering above him, lumbered movements and slurred oh god yeses. He remembers the not-always-pleasant friction and the harsh touches of Jenson’s hands, pressing into his stomach and against his shoulders. It catches him out, leaves him a sick combination of floating and falling. To sleep in the same bed is almost impossible, Seb struggles against himself, desperate to let go and hold on at the same time.

He and Jenson don’t talk about it. They continue to spiral round each other, the odd “Nice race, mate,” or “Better luck next time,” but nothing remotely close to what needs to be said. Seb would like to keep it that way, facing up to that means facing up to something much bigger. His stomach twists at the thought, he’s not sure he’s ready for that yet. Oh god, what if he’s in lo- no. No.

 It’s a few hours after they share a podium at Spa that Seb’s luck runs out. Something mindless and catchy is filling his room from the small radio on his bedside table, almost covering the sharp trill of his phone. He rolls towards the sound, shoulders aching, grumbling to himself. “I was just getting comfortable.”

(19:13) Jenson: We need to talk, Seb

Whatever calm has settled over the German in the past two hours is instantly shattered, his heart goes from resting to racing in half a second. He fumbles with his phone, fingers clumsily swiping over the keyboard. He types out several responses, gets the words wrong and tries again.

(19:15) Seb: Okay

He feels like he could vomit. Shifting to stare at the ceiling, Seb drops his phone onto his chest and squeezes his eyes shut, only to have it vibrate wildly fractions of a second later.

(19:15) Jenson: I’m on my way over.

No. No no no no no! Seb sits up, panicking. He could do this via text, the pixels on a screen not able to convey his feelings. It would be a bland admittance. A quick let’s-agree-not-to-do-that-again and done. Even if that’s not what Seb wanted, that’s what he thought he was going to get. This is a face-to-face confession and Seb’s not even sure what he’s confessing to yet.

When the three quick rasps on the door come, Seb is frozen in his place. He gulps, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. Jenson knocks impatiently again, smarting Seb into action. His movements are boxy and awkward as he flicks the radio off, the room falling into a still silence.

Seb opens the door just as Jenson is about to knock again. He aborts the movement, clenched fist suspended just inches from Seb’s face where it peeks out from behind the door. Jenson doesn’t wait for an invitation inside or a ‘hello’, he forces his way past Seb and comes to stop in the middle of the room. Seb spins on his heel, almost vibrating with nerves.

“Hi,” He squeaks awkwardly, to say something, anything.

“You weren’t drunk.” Jenson says shortly.

“No,” Seb mumbles, feeling his face burn. He stays a good distance from Jenson, shying at the edges of the room.

Jenson sighs heavily. “Why?”

Seb shrugs unhelpfully, the words he’d been saving have deserted him.

“Why, Seb?” He repeats. Seb shrinks away from Jenson’s stare, wishing he’d evaporate through the walls.

“I don’t-”

“Don’t what?” Jenson says impatiently.

Seb can’t lift his eyes from the floor. “Don’t know, Jense. I don’t know.” He clamps his eyes shut and waits, rendered completely helpless.

“Fantastic.” Jenson breathes angrily.

“Sorry?” Seb says, not entirely sure if he means it or not.

Jenson moves. Begins to crowd into Seb’s space, forces him backwards until his shoulders whack against the wall. It should be scary, intimidating, the way Jenson’s eyes fix him. Seb bites his lip, the pain jolting the thoughts in his head. No no no no no Sebastian you stop that right now.

The wall bears Jenson’s weight as he leans forward, hands planted either side of Seb. Jenson’s face is so close to his that Seb can see the creases under his eyes and the subtle pallet of his skin. The last time they were that close they were Seb seriously stop it!

“Don’t.” Seb feels the angry puffs of air on his face and it should make him uncomfortable but god it doesn’t. Jenson moves closer until their lips aren’t touching but aren’t not touching. “Lie to me, Sebastian.”

Pushing back, Jenson leaves Seb breathing heavily against the wall, struggling to stand. He can’t move though, not until the slam of the hotel door breaks his paralysis and Seb ends up with his head on his knees.

Shit.

-

They still haven’t talked about it. They haven’t talked, at all. Sebastian is hell bent on avoiding Jenson. Avoiding talking about Jenson, about his team, about his car, about his race, about his anything. He shuts off completely, silences when he hears Jenson’s name mentioned in conversation. He tries not to make it too obvious. Either Heikki knows him too well for it to be overlooked, or he really didn’t try at all.

Heikki has the amazing ability to confront Seb without saying a word at all. The expression he’s wearing says come on then, out with it and Seb’s almost ready to spill before Heikki’s even opened his mouth. It’s scary, how Heikki can do this. But that’s his job, Seb guessed, he’s hired to know him better than a lot of other people. Probably knows him better than Jenson ever will stop being pathetic Sebastian.

“Jenson?” Heikki assumes out loud. Seb’s stomach does a weird half flip, half cramp at his name and he doesn’t need to give him an answer.

“You slept with him.”

Seb winces, but nods.

“Good?”

Seb whips his head up so hard he might’ve broken his neck. “Heikki!”

“Drunk?”

Seb drops his head back down again, letting it be his answer.

“Ah. But you remember?”

“I wasn’t..” Seb mumbles, eyes finding Heikki’s.

Something flashes across Heikki’s face, it either goes so fast Seb can’t see it or he just doesn’t have the energy to see it. It’s probably the second one. Heikki whistles lowly, shaking his head.

“Did you lie?”

“Heikki,” Seb says, tiredly. He can’t go through all the accusations again.

“Seb.”

“He hates me, Heikki. For so long I just.. I just wanted it and didn’t know how to get it. He was drunk. He was offering. I wasn’t going to say no.” Seb loathes how desperate he sounds.

“You think he wouldn’t offer if he was sober?” Heikki says this like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. He feels like shaking Sebastian, partly through irritation and partly through sympathy. Although if there’s such thing as a sympathetic shake, Heikki’s not discovered it yet.

“No.” Seb sighs, defeated. “Why would he?”

Heikki holds back his exasperation. “Because he fancies you, you dick. Go find him, right now. Do I have to march you to the McLaren garage myself?”

“Heikki, stop it. Let it go.” Seb’s not sure if he’s really talking to Heikki or to himself.

“I will chase you there.”

“I can’t go there. What will the press say?” Any excuse.

“Give me your phone.” Heikki holds his hand out expectantly. Wiggles his fingers for emphasis. Seb doesn’t like where this is going, but groans and retrieves his phone from his pocket. Heikki taps his fingers furiously across the screen, having snatched the phone out of Sebastian’s hand instantly.

“There. Now go. Don’t fuck this one up.”

“Heikki..” Seb tries one last time.

“Seb.” Seb knows not to argue.

He swipes his fingers over the screen, bringing up his sent box with a sick sense of regret.

(14:54) Seb: I need to talk to you. Now.

The message screams at him in Heikki’s voice, will Jenson realise that it’s not him that sent the text? What if he does? Thinks Seb’s a coward? He’d be right.

A message vibrates back within two minutes.

(14:56) Jenson: Okay. Where?

(14:56) Seb: Back of the motorhome. Don’t let anyone see you.

Seb doesn’t think he’d know what to do if the media saw this. He doesn’t think he knows what to do anyway, beside the point. It’s tempting not to move, just to stick it out on the sofa here and keep up his avoidance. Heikki’s threatening face is enough to make Seb move, but it doesn’t inspire anything else. Scared of Heikki’s less-than-gentle persuasion, Seb goes to wait behind the motorhome.

It’s very possible he feels more nauseous now than the previous times. Before, Seb could convince himself that this thing he’s feeling isn’t anything, but in avoiding Jenson it’s manifested into a great big something that he still doesn’t want to name yet. It’s settled uncomfortably on his stomach, steadily pushing up on his lungs and threatening to send things he’s not ready to say yet spiralling up and out of his mouth. To occupy his hands, Seb begins picking at the sleeve of his jacket. If Jenson doesn’t turn up soon, it’s highly possible Seb will end up unravelling his jacket completely. Shadows flit between the motorhomes in the gap where Seb hides, each time it is not Jenson his heart does this strange clenching thing halfway through a beat and Seb’s sure the effect Jenson’s having on him isn’t healthy.

He watches the main path running through all the motorhomes, eyes flicking between the random people that happen to pass and don’t glance in his direction. Seb stumbles, ready to run, as a tall figure steps into the space. He recognises Heikki only after his physio has flashed an overly confident smile and a thumbs up and disappeared again. Seb turns, resting his forehead against the cool metal of the motorhome, trying and failing to get his breathing back to normal. The gentle touch on his shoulder makes Seb jump, elbow flying backwards to hopefully bury itself in the stomach of whoever’s found him.

[yeetyeet2121yeet]

Hey, about the aesthetic asks. Can ya do all of them?

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?Probably yesterday, while I was stress-cleaning my room. fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?Will I be happy?Am I nonbinary or nah?Did my friends die in a shooting?Will I land my dream job?Does America fix itself?Does my mother calm the fuck down?Will my mother let people come over for sleepovers without thinking we're gonna smash?Oh I could go on and on loldaisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?I would say finally cutting some toxic assholes out of my life1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?Last night was pretty damn goodSo was July 8-15matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?Yeah, I'd spend this year being 100% honest, with no filter. black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?Yeah I do. The top 3 things right now, would be to make it to graduation so I can yeet myself away from this shitty little town, glue googly eyes on everything bc then I can have a buncha friends with me at all times, and the third would be to meet my online friends irlpantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.They make me feel v safe, and able to be very open. They're tall as all fuck despite being like, 2 years younger than me. They dyed their hair black when they got back from camp. They give really good hugs. They cried during Up. Also they cuddle a lot, which I like. They let me paint their nails. I met them at camp. They identify as nonbinary. They recently came out. They're one of the best humans I've ever encountered. moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?lol no. I tried to kill myself when I was 9.stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?Like, July 13plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.I have a few. Roan, b/c they're Roan and we like that kind of stuffSean b/c I think he'd like thatSame with Jackconverse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?Yeah, ofc. lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?Last night, I had 2. One was with Jack, and he's my v good friend. The other was with Roan, who like, I 'married' at camp, and are really close with. handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?UhM oh ShitJaxon/Matt. I would say 'Fuck you, check my notes on my phone, the password is 123456789'cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?They're pretty!sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.Literally the entirety of 'Just Like You' by Three Days Grace. The whole song speaks to me about my relationship with my mother. 'I could be mean • I could be angry • And I could be just like you' ~ speaks to me because she is all of those things, when it is said 'I could be ___''You thought you were standing beside me • You were only in my way' ~ is exactly how i feel about heroil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?Congratulations, You Made Itoveralls: what would you do with one billion dollars?I would help out every one of my friends. You need food? Here! You need a binder, but you cant afford it, or your parents won't buy one? Well, here! You need help with paying rent or whatever? Well, I have literally a billion dollars that I don't actually need, so here!!combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?Yes, I am very forgiving. It takes a lot to really make me not want anything to do with you. Even now, after I cut some asshole out of my life for being a rather stuck up, mean person, if he ever pulled his head out of his ass, and explained his feelings, or apologized, I would accept it. I do like being like this. pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?Punktattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.Whatever mate, you can do what you want. It is your body!piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?nah, ive always been too shy to actually put any on. bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.I'm gonna talk about the genre I listen to. The music I listen to has meaning, and has a message. I listen to political songs. I listen to music that makes me think. My music has made me a better person. messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.FOR FUCKS SAKE CALM DOWNWE ALL DIE ALONE WHY DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKING FIGHT AND HATE?!grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?My mother, saying she was sorry, and wanted to change space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?Yeah i do, its my bed. Its got specific sections. Sleeping, Books, Journaling, Noteswhite bed sheets: what is your night time routine?I cook my supper (bc my mother doesnt), and then I cover my window bc I'm scared of what's out there, and then I climb into bed, and message people, watch youtube, and scroll through social media until I fall asleepold books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?Literally anything about who I really am.beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?JET BLACK bc I think that would be cool!eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?Sean, Jack, Roan, Seth, and Lily. I would like to just go somewhere, anywhere, and just hang out. 11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.I wish I could be me. I hate how I have to be a whole different person.I wish I was with Roan. They're just.. calming, and makes me feel safeI wish my family wasn't so bad. I dont wanna feel like this. painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. I'm gonna go as one of the black eyed children next yearlightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?never been either thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?be something I'm notstorms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?Roan. They're an amazing person.love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.Yeah I have. Its when youre falling asleep, you're thinking of them. When youre so sad and crying so hard you cant breathe, imagining their arms around you helps. Its when youre doing something small and mundane and wanting to share it with them. its watching a movie and wanting to lean against them. Its when youre awake at 3am and so are they, and youre laying everything out on the table, placing your deepest fears and insecurities in their hands, and trusting them so deeply it hurts. its loaning them a blanket and getting it back and wrapping yourself in it to catch their scent. its knowing that as long as the other person is there, you can make it. its not having to ask permission to hold their hand or hug them or touch them because you know that its okayclouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?hell yeah i'd rock short hair coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?I don't have one, but I'd trust Roan, Evan, Alex, Grayson, Theo, Sean, Jack, Mitchell, Thomas with itmarble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?Friends who act more like family than your actual relatives do