#im bored and going thru my drafts

[transgenderprototype]

Blupani hc:

Timpani likes to carry Blumiere around like a small dog or a luggage bag.

That is it

[fernandopiastri28]

high for this ~ oscar piastri

Notes:

i am officially finished with holidays and back to school :/ so im going to be posting a lot less but i do have a few works just rotting in my drafts so i'll probably just be changing the names of characters and posting them. (not proof read so i apologise if there's any mistakes)

warnings: smut, weed, drug use, mdni

Oscar mindlessly lays sprawled out on his bed, his muscles aching from the gym earlier in the day. He tenderly rubs his hamstring, trying to nurse it back to not being too sore for his match tomorrow. 

He has some music playing as quietly as possible, a pulsing tune of some heavy rap. It’s not really to his taste, but he’s bored with his own playlists at the moment. His phone is near the foot of his outstretched left leg, while his right leg is tucked up towards his torso, his knee pointing high towards the ceiling. Both hands are hard at work around his right leg, his fingers pressing into the tough flesh.

He feels a buzz travel through his left foot as his nails dig into his skin. He makes a note to cut them. He hears the buzz too, this time over the sound of the music. He sits up awkwardly, wincing at the strain on his leg. Using his left hand, he picks up his phone and checks the two new messages he’s received. 

It’s Talia, unsurprisingly. She should be asleep, though, she promised him she’d start working on fixing her sleep schedule. He clicks the notifications, squinting to see the messages with the medical white lights flashing in his eyes in comparison to the darkened room.

tals🧡: you up?

tals🧡: do u wanna come over

Oscar shifts around in his bed so his back is pressed against a stack of pillows. He brings his hand away from his hamstring, ignoring the dull shoot of pain that runs up his leg once it loses his attention.  

They don’t do a lot of sneaking over to each other's houses, simply because they can see enough of one another during school days, so it isn’t anything essential. They get in all the kissing, cuddling, and make outs they want to during the day, so if she’s suggesting this, it means sex. 

Not necessarily just sex, anything within the umbrella of sexual activity. Oscar shifts his hips, trying to decide what he wants to do. They live pretty far from each other, meaning for him to sneak over, it's a 25-minute walk each way since he can’t just take the family car. It’s late—nearing midnight—and he’s sore. On the other hand, he’s horny.

And at Talia’s house, she doesn’t live with her parents. She lives with two of her close friends, skipped out on the college experience after her first year. Oscar didn’t get that luxury, much like his older sisters. Both of them lived at home for uni. But while she’s off now in France, he’s still a third year university student. Since her family won’t even be there, they don’t have to worry about being sneaky or quiet.

Oscar: Yeah. See you soon

He unplugs his phone and slips his feet into the pair of slides that are sitting at the foot of his bed. He opens his wardrobe, grazing his fingers over the line up of shirts that rest there. He grabs a graphic white t-shirt, wrestling it on. He cracks open his door, walking past his sister’s and the guest room, both vacant. His parents are on the level upstairs, so they can’t hear any disturbance he’s making. 

He settles for catching the bus instead, unwilling to walk up to an hour. He sits down in a row of empty seats, ducking his head down and popping an earbud in. There’s a scarce number of other people on the bus, two girls sitting close together, their heads spinning drunkenly. An old man, greying hair and a newspaper in his callused hands.

tals🧡: come thru window. sammy will bark otherwise.

Oscar replies with the hard thought out reply of a thumbs up before re-pocketing his phone, staring mindlessly out of the window at the dark surroundings that whip by. 

Oscar gets off at his stop 10 minutes later, and he’s the last person on the bus by that point. He approaches Talia’s house, not even bothering to go through the front door- Sammy would bark and wake the whole house up. He clicks open the gate, dragging it out only just enough to slip in. He walks across the side of the house, tapping on her bedroom window once he gets to it. He presses a hand to his pocket, making sure the pack of condoms he grabbed are still there.

The curtains swish open and Talia’s standing there, fiddling to get the window open. Once it's open, he feels a rush of cold air hitting him, accompanied by the smell of something almost like diesel. “Hey,” He grins as she leans down. 

She narrowly avoids the kiss he’s going for, giving him one on the corner of his mouth. “Sorry- god, it’s dark,” Her shadow rubs her eyes, reaching out a hand to help him in. 

Climbing in through the window isn’t a difficult task- just slightly uncomfortable. His crotch rubs against the window pane as he brings his second leg over into her room. Talia wraps her arms around his waist as soon as he’s inside. “Hi, Oscccc,” She looks up at him, her teeth gleaming white. 

Just as Oscar is about to reply, the petrol smell hits him even harder. He crinkles his nose, confused as to what it is. “Tals, what the hell have you been smoking in here?,” He laughs, his hands grabbing at her ass to get her to wrap her legs around his waist. His voice is thick with sarcasm, Talia is the furthest thing from a druggy possible.

“Weed,” She rubs her lips into his shoulder, mouthing at the fabric of her shirt. Her mouth is dry, barely wetting the cloth. Oscar’s eyebrows knit, tensing in confusion. “Got a joint, was bored,” She mumbles. 

He doesn’t believe what he’s hearing. At the same time, it’s late- his mind is cloudy anyways. He looks past her, at her bed where there’s a metal tin and a joint laying on top of it. Explains the smell then. “Fuck Talia,” He lets out a deep breath, “Maddie and Amber can definitely smell it,” He groans.

Talia laughs, her voice thick and loopy. “Nah, they cleared out tonight so I could do this.” She pulls away from the embrace, tugging him after her by his shirt. She falls back against the bed, her eyes clearly red rimmed from the dim lighting over her bed. “Cmonnn Opie, wanna get stoned with you,”

It’s so strange to see her like this, but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t hot. It’s so unexpected, such a pleasant surprise from his usually wound up and rule following girlfriend. Oscar’s resistance weakens, the sight of her laying there- a goofy grin plastered across her voice is enough to make the strong man give in. 

He hovers over her on the bed, a knee on either side of her hips and a hand on either side of her head. “You’re insane,” His mouth meets red, puffy lips for a kiss. She’s hungry for it, bringing her hands up to his hair to tug him down. 

“More,” Talia begs, her voice breathy. Her pupils are huge and there's a spacey look in her eyes. Oscar teases her, shaking his head as he slightly resists kissing her any further than little pecks.

“I want a drag,” He whispers, reaching over her to where the blunt is precariously resting. He places it in between his lips, the bitter taste already seeping into his mouth. “Light it up,” He murmurs around the lump in his mouth. 

Her mouth and ears feel as if they’ve been packed with cotton, his voice is far away and just barely a noise. “You don’t know how to,” She giggles weakly, her fingers pinching the fabric of his shirt that hangs down onto her.

Oscar gets off of her, sitting against the head of her bed. His legs are spread, his body slumped down comfortably. “Teach me,” He pats the space in front of his lap, his eyes looking up through his lashes. Talia’s mind is foggy with weed, lust, and need. She’s willing to do anything. 

“Take this,” she pushes a plastic water bottle into one of his hands, already unscrewed and partially drunk. “You’re gonna cough a lot- the water will help with that,” she explains, leaning forward with her hands propped up on his quads, pushing the hem of his shorts higher up. 

She reaches over to where the bottle had been and her fingers feel numb as they wrap around the lighter. “You feel good?” She asks as he twists the joint around between his lips. He doesn’t quite know how to answer, it feels like a question for after he’s actually smoked it. He nods regardless, tensing his leg muscles under her hands.

“I’m gonna light it, okay?” Another question from her. Her voice is becoming harder to understand, the true effects of the weed settling into her. It’s bizarre to him, this whole situation. “And you just try to inhale as much as possible,” She waits for a nod of competency from him before continuing. “Don’t let it just rest in your throat- it’ll burn. If you can’t do a lot, just do it in small bits,” 

Oscar’s hand snakes behind her, resting on the small of her back. “Ready,” He mumbles awkwardly. She clicks down on the lighter and a flame flickers, wavering just below his nose. 

“Don’t stress it,” She can see how his eyebrows are still furrowed and his nails are digging into the fabric of her shirt. It’s almost euphoric at first, then it’s hell. Heat fills his mouth and he’s coughing and wheezing. He did exhale- probably too much. 

He feels Talia’s hands all over him, her coldness contrasting against the warmth throbbing through himself. She takes the spliff from his mouth, sucking down on it herself. Oscar watches her hazily, his bottom lip tucked under teeth. 

“How long have you been doin’ this?” The words feel as if they’re not coming from him. Jesus, surely he’s not baked already. He feels the heavy weight of the joint being pushed between his lips again, his question seemingly going unanswered. 

He takes it, breathing it in again. He doesn’t let it rest in his throat, he focuses on the inhale. He doesn’t cough as much this time, but he still guzzles down what’s left in the bottle. 

They spend a few minutes alternating the spliff, blowing air into eachothers faces. The room reeks of weed and it’s boiling hot. He wipes the back of his neck with his hand, a line of sweat gathering there. She twists the hem of his shirt between her index and thumb, pulling it up slightly. She doesn’t need to ask- he takes it off for her. 

“I started when I first moved here,” She finally answers his question from earlier, dragging a thumb down his cheek, rubbing the back of his jawline. “I think one of Mads’ friends gave her a bunch because she was moving- couldn’t take ‘em. Us three smoked them one night, it was fun,” She mumbles. It means she’s only been doing it for about 3 years now. 

He tilts his head, resting it against a pillow. She presses the pad of her thumb into his bottom lip that he’s unconsciously pouting out- asking for either another drag or a kiss. “Wanted to introduce you,” Her lips turn into a smirk, her eyes half-lidded.

“And why’s that?” He teases, his other hand moving down to her ass. Talia looks to the side behind him, a knowing look on her face. She pulls herself into his lap, effectively straddling him.

“I wanted to get high,” She states plainly, “and when I’m high- I’m horny. Wanted to be like that with you,” Her eyes are bright and her cheeky are rosy. Oscar kisses her cheek, experimenting with how his mouth is getting drier and more uncomfortable. Once he feels some moisture returning, he kisses further along her jaw. 

She has the spliff in her mouth which forces him away from her mouth. He focuses on her jaw and neck, suckling near her collarbone. She moans, tugging his hair and effectively his head back up. She places the joint in his mouth again and pulls on the pillow behind him. He tilts his head enough for her to move it out of the way, leaving him laying down almost completely flat. 

 He watches dazily as she pulls her top off, leaving her in a lacy white bra. He reaches out, his fingers barely feeling her flesh. He knows he’s touching her, she’s making noises to confirm it. “ More , more , fuck ,” She’s begging, her voice so desperate. Oscar wishes he wasn’t so fucking spacey right now so he could see how wanton she was over him. 

He tips his head forward, looking past where smoke is burning into his eyes. He’s apparently not just touching her bra, he’s touching her fully exposed breast. He hasn’t realised up until this point that he’s actually hard. 

“Can I shotgun you?” She asks, her fingers snaking over his nipples. He whimpers at the touch and his mouth drops open around the blunt. He knows he’s out of it, but he’s consciously thinking enough to know that shotgunning is either claiming the front seat in a car, or piercing a beer can and then drinking it as fast as possible.

He settles with the assumption it must be the second one. He lols his head to the side, searching for where the beer is. “Yeah,” He hums, his hand dropping down over the edge of the bed and his hand swinging with the intention of hitting a can that isn’t actually there.

Talia laughs, tugging on his bicep. “Shotgun- I puff smoke into your mouth,” She explains, her voice all raspy from being so dry. Oscar licks over his teeth, his mouth still painfully dry. His mind feels empty, the only resounding thought is just talia, talia, talia. There are a few other ideas, sex stuff, nothing coming close to being as important as making her happy.

She leans forward, plucking the joint from his mouth. He gets a breath of fresh air and begins to gasp for it- a telltale sign he’s had too much in one go. He hollows his cheeks, cleaning the taste of smoke out of his mouth with spit. It’s a useless attempt as it’s already well stained.

She slides two fingers into his mouth, pressing down on his bottom teeth. She lays down on him, her legs still hooked around his hips and a hand pressing to the headboard above him. Their chests are pressing together, her boobs heavy on him. He stares at them, shamelessly, his cock getting even harder to the point he’s beginning to actually feel it. 

“Can you suck my cock?” His voice is strangled and on the verge of incoherency because of her digits pressing into his tongue. She nods, kissing the tip of his nose. Her other hand is still holding onto the spliff, just sliding it against her wettened bottom lip. She finally sucks down on it, her lips twisting around it to keep the smoke in.

His mouth opens out of instinct, his eyes going bright just thinking about her mouth. The second their lips meet and he feels a slow release of smoke into his mouth, he feels like he’s dying. His eyes roll back and he grips a hand to the back of her head, pushing their mouths into each other’s harder.

He’s kissing her like it’s the only thing keeping him alive. It’s disgustingly dirty, a combination of spit, teeth, tongues and far too much moaning. Being stoned apparently just makes him feel everything . His lips are on fire, his throat is on fire, his eyes are on fire, his dick is on fire. 

Their mouths pull apart, sticky from the remnants of lip gloss that Talia has on. He peppers her face with a few more kisses, desperate for the stinging burn. They look at each other for a few moments, a complete disconnect from the two of them and the rest of the world. 

“You still want it?” She’s semi sitting up now, her elbows resting on where his hips are poking out from his low sitting shorts. His mind goes blank at the question, unsure of what she could possibly asking.

“What?” He lets out a puff of air, his hand mindlessly travelling through her hair. She nudges low down on his abdomen with her nose, making a weird squeaking whine. 

“Suck you off,” She looks up at him, the green in her eyes barely just a thin ring around her blown up pupils. Oscar nods, shifting further down the bed. Her fingers hook into his waistband, an invitation. His eyes flicker shut, already wasted off the feeling of her hands tugging his shorts down. 

Cold air whacks into the tops of his thighs, the dark fluffs of hair standing up. Oscar doesn’t need to tell her what to do, it seems like every time she’s gotten baked before this has been spent with her preparing for this. 

Talia begins aimlessly mouthing at his crotch, licking and kissing over where the head is resting. Her mouth is wetter than his, seemingly soaked with saliva. He takes a drag from the blunt, his fingers retracting and stretching to scratch her head. She purrs at the motion, getting more eager around him. 

“Cmon princess,” Oscar murmurs, helping to slide his boxers down to mid thigh. He doesn’t wince or shiver when it meets the cold air as there’s barely any time for it to do so. The second he’s fully undressed, her warm mouth is engulfing his length. 

She bobs her head up and down, her lips tightening around his shaft and her cheeks hollowing for him. He’s pushing her head down without realising, the pressure is light but definitely suggestive. 

She doesn’t gag, just takes him further. He encourages her with a string of moans mindlessly escaping his mouth, mixed in with ‘ oh god, good girl’ and ‘that's perfect, princess, keep going’. He’ll smoke or eat edibles every weekend if this is how getting head feels like when he does.

Her nose presses into his crotch, her throat muscles working hard to accommodate the intrusion of him. He tries to touch her, help her get off while she’s giving him the blowjob he’s ever received but the way she’s lying with the rest of her body so far away, he settles for focusing the pleasure elsewhere.

He rubs his thumbs over her nipples, feeling them harden under his touch. She whimpers and whines, her moans choking into noises that sound like she’s crying. Her face is reddened and her hair is sweaty, her fringe plastered down to her forehead with sweat.

“Close, I’m close,” He twists some of her hair around his index, his middle finger tapping into the top of her hair. She looks up at him with glassy eyes and tensed eyebrows. 

“In me,” She gags around his length. She doesn’t need to ask twice. He fucks his hips up into her mouth, forcing a moan and a gag from the back of her throat as he releases into her. 

He feels spent, his body aching worse than it did back at home. 

She pulls off slowly, her lips oiled with spit and cum. Her neck muscles flicker with tension as she swallows it down. That’s new. She’s strictly been a ‘spitter’ to this very moment. He wipes a drop of cum off her lip and kisses her deep. He tastes himself in her mouth but there's hardly any recognition for it. He doesn’t care enough to be disgusted about it, nothing about kissing her is disgusting.

“You’re perfect,” He slips his tongue into her mouth, tugging her up to be laying on top of him. “Wanna make you feel good,” He moves his head, kissing down her neck.

Talia lets out a noise of confirmation, “please,” she whines burying her fingers against his scalp. From the awkward angle he’s at, he slips her pants down past her ass, her underwear at the same time. 

He rubs a finger over her wet hole, teasing it. She lets out a stifled whimper, burying her face further into Oscar’s chest. He slides the finger in slowly, watching the bits of her face that he can see intently. She’s shying away, forcing her face away from his view.

“You’re all shy now?” He teases, massaging one of her breasts with his palm. She doesn’t reply, just keens on him, desperate for more. He pushes his finger fully in, sliding it in and out. “Look at me, pretty,” He kisses her forehead, nudging the spot with his nose. 

She reluctantly looks up before snuggling into his neck. It’s a drastic difference from how she was only minutes earlier. He pushes a second finger in, knowing her all too well that she’s needy for it. She groans, scraping her teeth down along his shoulder.

He groans, throwing his head back. He knows what he’s doing, not needing to even look. He pushes in and out, deeper and just as controlled. Her walls tighten around him, her wetness slicking down over his palm and around his wrist. His thumb joins in, rubbing along her clit. 

“Oz,” it comes out all jagged and breathy. “Fuck- need to,” She can’t finish her sentences at this point, pushed so close to the edge. He gives her a whisper of allowance, his breath hot against her ear. 

“Come for me,” He instructs her, his thumb applying more pressure as he feels a gush of wetness spill down his occupied hand. She’s gasping, panting for air when it happens. His body is still trying to regain full senses from the weed, barely noticing how deep her nails are digging into his sides, leaving red crescent moons into his skin.

Once she’s come down from her high, Talia rolls onto the space next to him on the bed. They watch each other, laying on their sides as they share the joint. They puff smoke at each other, laughing over absolutely nothing. 

“You’re staying tonight?” Whether it's a statement or a question is unsure, just how she intended. Oscar cranes his head to where he can see the sun is peeking out and beginning to set. 

“Yeah, I’ll stay right here,” He hums as the two of them both nod off to a hazy, stoned induced sleep.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

i’ve noticed that you update language barrier pretty much everyday with very little time or days between every update. i was wondering how you update it so fast? do you already have most of the story finished but just adding some last minute touch ups and/or checking for grammar mistakes? or do you just do one chapter a day in a impressively short time? i’m curious since what i noticed writers tend to take some time updating their stories so it was just really new to see someone update theirs so frequently. 

I shit u not, at this point im a degenerate neet

I wake up at 1pm, have one meal until 1:30pm abd then sit in front of the computer until 2am in the morning, typing away, each chapter i try to go for 4000 words but never able to reach them most of the time, so usually its around 3500 plus

It all started with me breaking my leg 💔 before that i had a job and shit but now nyeeh i cant really do shit without breaking down crying how painful my leg is, so im doing this to cope and stuff

If u look closer theres a lot of leg and foot injury mentions recently, especially when it comes to Yandere Best Friend

I dont do touchups and grammar check, or even check for plotholes or continuity- i rely on my vague recollection of the previous part , then i publish my chapters hot out of the oven, right after add a bunch of tags, link my masterpost and previous posts , at that point my brain is fried thru n thru and thars why my author's note looks like it was written by someone on fucking molly

How i write is by checkpoints or specific sentences that I want to be added in the story- and in between each checkpoints i pump out filler chapters, these filler chapters can range anywhere from one chapter or 7 fuckin chapters

U kno that wordy translation about "she who is divine" bullcrap? That is A checkpoint, everything else past the Giant vs 2718 fight was just filler lol

Fun fact, part 11 where theres a lot of angst with 2718 is considered a filler chapter 2 me

As soon as i put out a post, i go straight back to my drafts and work on the next part

The reason why thers so many fillers is cause i try not to use timeskips all that much, the pacing between chapters are usually within a 30 hour timeframe (with the exception where reader fell into a comas cause i dont want to write the entire journey back, i thought it would be boring as hell to just describe 2718 put a foot in front of his other foot repeatedly)

The next major checkpoint is probably like lightyears away, i try to churn out as much as i can before the end of this month, where ill restart uni and wont have any time to update AT ALL, lest i fall into dormancy until i break my other leg

Language Barrier is just one long bullshit session lol

[cowboybrunch]

botrd brain dump, spoilers below

im about halfway thru the second draft, editing chapter 16/33 and i was struggling with this one scene because i couldn't figure out what i was trying to achieve with this particular conversation

this is the first real scene where Rosalie and Azmaveth talk

Theodore has gone back with Morrigan (kidnapped? not really, he chose to go) and they're trying to come up with a plan to bring him home

Rosalie was attacked + almost died, was brought to Azmaveth's estate to recover/so they can protect her while they figure out what to do about Theodore

and they're having dinner (because it's Azmaveth so of course there's a formal dinner involved) and it comes out that he blames her for everything Theodore is going thru/has gone thru since they met

sure, fine, but i knew that already. what i didn't know was:

this is when Rosalie realizes that she's going to die

A chuckle slips from my mouth, interrupting her. Both immortal beings whip their heads towards me, confused and maybe a little concerned as it morphs into a full-bellied laugh. I’m not in control of my body any more than I’m in control of Death herself. Marcella reaches for my hand, but I shirk her touch. “Is something amusing?” Azmaveth sneers. “I used to wash dishes,” I manage between bursts of insane laughter. “I used to have a life! A normal, boring life. I could’ve lived to be eighty, ninety years old. I could’ve had children, I could’ve married Henry— oh god, I would’ve married Henry.”

this is the moment when she realizes that there's no other way that this can end

and god! who else knows! Marcella! she's known the whole time because she's seen this story before— she lived this story

she knows that Rosalie has to die, and that's why she makes such an effort to keep her at a distance, to not care for her. and she ends up caring about her anyway

something something the love did not save us but it was there, and it mattered

[razrrgames]

tomorrow is the 7th anniversary of when i first released after the bell.

a lot has happened in the past 7 years.

i have/had an entire update planned, i wanted to rebuild the game from the ground up, especially since porting it to the steam version of 2003 fucked up the fade transitions.

but i never did.

i’ve tried starting many times, and failed every time.

i don’t think i’ve talked about it here, but im very open about this: i have ADHD and autism. the ADHD is what applies the most here.

the ADHD prevents me from doing what i want, and the RSD makes me overcomplicate things.

back when i made ATB, i was in a hyper focus state on RPGMaker. i had four ongoing projects at once: after i finished the first version of ATB, i was drafting the update, file:blue was added during a horror game jam, riitami, and one other project i literally cannot even remember the name of off the top of my head. i focused hard on these projects, mainly riitami, and then the novelty wore off. this is one of the worst parts of my ADHD. i get really into doing something for a short burst and then i get bored and can’t force myself to do it anymore.

i felt horrible for so long. why can’t i just DO things like everyone else? i need to remake ATB, i need to fix it, i need to take out the stair scene because it was in poor taste, i need to expand on the lore so i stop seeing people asking why ghosts can’t just go through the wall, i need to expand on these characters, etc etc etc. and i just couldn’t do it. i forced myself to come up with a logistical reason for not passing through walls, i rewrote and scrapped and rewrote and scrapped over and over again.

don’t get me wrong. i still do want to update after the bell. i want to remake it. i want to make it better. better maps, better art, better jokes, better characters, etc. but i can’t give you an estimate on when that will happen.

as for the lore of the game,,, i don’t want to put any more thought into it.

i didn’t go into that project with a real plot or world in mind. i just drew a little ghost girl and decided i wanted to make a game about her. then i made her a girlfriend and some classmates. i thought of a very simple fetch quest: getting her name. that’s all it was. nothing more, nothing less.

that said, i have new answers to things.

why can’t she go through walls?

who cares? i’m not gonna make transition events on every wall tile just to satisfy some people who can’t put their suspension of disbelief on hold for a silly ten minute game.

why are all these girls dead?

i don’t know. i just thought one character would be too lonely, so i added some more. i thought more ghosts would be better than filling the space with living characters and then dealing with whatever allows them to communicate.

and there was one person that once said in a comment that it was weird that protag’s parents had the same last name. that has always been a strange thought to me. they’re married? one took the other’s last name?

i don’t really know what i’m rambling about at this point.

in the past seven years (in no particular order), i have moved out, got my drivers license, lost my job, got another job, was ghosted out of that job, gotten a new job that destroyed my soul, fell into a deep depression at the start of the lockdown, went back to the soul crushing job once it resumed, fell out with my roommate, moved back in with my parents, quit my old job and got another job that i now love, adopted a hamster, had her until she passed away earlier this year from health complications, made friends, lost friends, started and ended therapy, got a psychiatrist, got on anxiety medication, started (trying) ADHD meds, started dating my girlfriend, saw her in person twice, was briefly hospitalized to get my first surgery (gall bladder removal), had ANOTHER surgery (septoplasty + removing polyps), went to new york to meet old friends twice, went thru multiple medications trying to find something to help me sleep at night, came out to my mother as a lesbian (she still does not know my gender identity), met some of the people who would become some of the most important people in my life, cried over dnd (positive), started writing stories again, tabled at a lot of conventions…

it’s been a long and wild road. and in those seven years, i have thought about the ATB cast. i know the game got a little traction when it was first released, and i’m a little shocked that it seems to get a lot more attention in spanish speaking communities! that’s a lil crazy to me! not in a bad way of course. i think that’s really cool. sharing our creations and experiences across different language communities is one of the coolest things in the world.

i’ve seen praise and criticism that have helped me think about my work as an artist, and some that have hindered me a bit. nevertheless, i’ve grown a lot since then. at least i hope so.

im rambling about a lot of things. sorry. my train of thought is more like a spaghetti junction, lol

at the end of the day, these silly little ghost girls were my first real journey into RPGmaker. i’d loved playing games for a long time and had made one shoddy little thing before, but ATB was my first real release. i’ve thought about these girls a lot. i don’t think too hard about their world, the lore doesn’t really matter to me; it was just a silly little game i made with no real forethought.

one day i will deliver that remake to you. i don’t know when. i love these characters, simple as they are, and i want to do right by them. im even thinking of asking for help, as i clearly have a lot of trouble moving forward; help with setting up maps and transitions is the most important thing, as i’m not very good at layouts or mapping, but i can handle all the artwork and writing dialogue myself. i also want to commission someone for custom music, as the original music used in the game was generated via online programs because i am also, shockingly (/sarcasm), terrible at music composition. or more like i have no experience with it. i’m tone deaf as all hell.

that is not financially viable for me right now, unfortunately (i owe my parents like $800 for insurance + some assistance from when bebbie passed away) and i do not want to just. not pay people for their work. as an artist i understand the value of the work that goes into these things, and i’m not about to run around asking for free help with a silly little ghost game. i want to be able to pay my help appropriately for their time and effort. that said, if you’d be interested in helping out when that time comes (paid of course, i can’t tell you when that’ll be bc as much as i love my job i don’t make a lot of money) please let me know.

i should bring this rambling to a close.

thank you for seven years of silly ghost girls. it’s been a long time, but i hope that these girls pop into your thoughts from time to time to say hello, as they do for me. i want to do them better, even if they are just a couple of silly middle school lesbian ghosts.

thank you for your patience and support. i’m sorry i haven’t lived up to be the person or developer that i wanted to be. i’m sorry i failed to bring you something to play so many times and for so long. i hope you can forgive me.

thank you, thank you, thank you.

[icharchivist]

merry christmas icha!! love ur new icon. fittingly enough, the stars aligned and i just went through the a very mankai christmas event! i think it's a nice touch the event wasn't actually on the day... but since it goes up to the 25th i thought it fitting to read through it now. i was very hype for the mixed troupe performances but i knew that tsuzuru would be in absolute hell the entire time. like not being able to contribute writing-wise would take a real toll on me. however i think despite that pain it would be SOO fun! one thing i feel very much is like when u meet people who are just starting out with like writing etc.? writing is very very reflective of the self i think. and u end up learning a lot about how people work when u see other people's creative output. but it would also be hell.

i guessed hisoka would be one of the main characters the moment he was like oh i have no. christmas ideas. and then the moment tsumugi was like oh sakuya do u have a christmas memory I remembered sakuyas family situation and when sakuya was like nah I gripped my chair like. sakuya hisoka event? sakuya hisoka event? AND THEN they both went … at the end of the scene so i did lose my mind. thats a veryyyyy fun duo i think in terms of thinking about dynamics. also the funniest thing is I actually put off this event for like a week bc this chapter in the event started with the like sad a3 flashback music and I was worried I couldn’t handle it like. what if it was hisoka and it like glitched or smthing like that bc he can’t flashback to anything. what if it was rly sad. but instead it was just juzas chocolate melting which is a tragedy but not one that will devastate me. oh also tsumugis story with tasuku is so sweet. i was like. wow. they were rly good friends. also i literally have a scene in my drafts somewhere where tasuku catches tsumugi before he trips. glad to see thats in character.

but sakuyaaaaa. i was rly expecting him to be the sort of basic "main character" of this game but i think a3 doesnt rly have that feeling? (probably helped massively by the fact that there's 4 different groups in the first place) anyways he is not boring to me at all. i feel like hes a little bit of a subtle character with a lot of interesting quirks? probably related to the whole. family situation hes got. but man. smthing about having to be good for christmas got me. and the way he feels guilty about lying and when he tells hisoka he had a bad experience hes quick to brush it off as not a big deal even though that's like. his big memory of christmas as a holiday. and it really feels like. honestly thinking abt how sakuya stuck to his lead role as romeo in act 1 i do think a lot about like. how sakuya probably feels he needs to act around other people and how he needs to be as a person. like does he ever think oh i'm not a good person. that's why no one likes me. that's why i never got christmas presents. sakuya i want to give you a very long hug. going to jump a little non-chronologically and say that hisoka getting him that cat plush was SO SWEET. i grabbed at my heart really it was so adorable. the way hisoka is so pleased abt it! it was nice to see that from hisoka too. like. hes not sweet always but when he is hes SWEET.

anyways back on chronology. when izumi went "im baking today since omi is busy!" my immediate response was to narrow my eyes thru the whole scene and then go "…you know how to make more than curry?" next the other team plays. as predicted the team tsuzuru was on (team a) was wild. they had a good time so good for them. what really makes me laugh is that apart from like team d with the mains of the event etc. i think team a may have been the only group to actually do a christmas theme. the sakyo and azuma thing was HILARIOUS. with the like soap opera relationship thing. azuma was the perfect person to play that lady kazumi... also!! sakyo mentioned thinking about doing mixed troupe plays in the future... thats a nice way to setup that since i do know it does happen later! so cool.

let's see the last things i had to say... oh right. hisoka Thoughts. he was so weird abt the snow he was like “snow…” TWICE. so i have to assume there's some memories associated with that. there was the ocean in winter's episode too right?? anyways. this goes next to my hisoka == december??? / chikage jacket? notes. i thought it was nice that it was sakuya who was with him when hisoka froze up on stage! like, i think he's probably the best person equipped to handle that kind of thing out of everyone. oh and also im not saying hisoka used his assassin stealth to sneak in a present in sakuyas stocking but im also not NOT saying that you know. i also have to wonder how citron's sleeping reflexes are considering my runaway prince theory... like either sleeps like the dead or super light sleeper i feel.

unrelated but during the party where homare is like "I ended up getting a little too intoxicated on life and wine" and then izumi said smthing that was basically like "homare u were just straight up crying" that made me laugh.

this was such a sweet event! it hit a good balance of being melancholy without being like too depressing, i think.

AAHH HELL YEAH!! MERRY CHRISTMAS KIRI!!! (and thank you for the nice comment on the icon <33)And this is such a perfect timing, i was thinking about this event all day yesterday which makes it perfect for a proper christmas mood.

I really love this event a lot, as a Hisoka and Sakuya enjoyer, as you can imagine. It was sooo good to me.

I do love how the event is spread out. most of the events actually are a bit like that, kinda fits with the fact events usually lasts about 10 days, so when the stories also take a long time it really feels like you're passing the days with them.

Tsuzuru's absolute nightmare was a highlight of this event for sure, it was so funny. Of course, also terrible to picture oneself into, but the whole thing was so fucking funny, he really was paired with the group of people that would give him the most headaches. Love Lady Luck on this one.

SAKUYA HISOKA EVENTTTTTT sobbing.

There were a few minichats that built up this duo before that which i always loved, which is that Sakuya often caught Hisoka sleeping in wild places and would cover him in blankets, and when Hisoka would complain he can't sleep in his room because Homare is being loud, Sakuya offered Hisoka to sleep into his bed in the meantime and Hisoka has been "i'm going to protect this kid with my LIFE" ever since, keep calling him a good boy from this point on already.

So when the event was specifically about Hisoka getting dedicated in making sure Sakuya was a good boy in a way Sakuya could get/that would override Sakuya's feelings that he wasn't one…. it felt very precious.

PUTTING OFF THE EVENT BC SAD MUSIC WHILE IT WAS ALL JUZA… THIS IS SO FUNNY HELPPP. Tsumu and Tasu's bit were really sweet yessss. and glad to see you also get them in character so well in your drafts on that.

And i agree completely about Sakuya!!! He's a bit of the posterchild of the app but it's especially because, as an orphan who feels like he constantly has to prove he has his place here, he makes for a great demonstration of the found family thematics of a3. But yeah i agee he's very subtle and interesting. It really strikes me that Sakuya has basically been raised into erasing himself, making himself as small and helpful as possible, not imposing himself, desperately trying to be good enough to be kept around. So when he's actually doing that in the story - rarely taking up the whole focus, apologizing for unconvegniancing anyone, not wanting to talk about the bad feelings of his past…. it really feels more like it's his habit of erasing himself in front of his neglecting family, than an idea that he's just a boring character who's good to be good. The whole thing about the "maybe i'm not a good boy" realization was devastating to me, because while it's such a childish thing, it's also obvious it carried on to his current age, and he definitely needed to hear that he was being good, but was never in a situation where he could actively express that he needed to hear that. That Hisoka made it his lifemission to make sure Sakuya knew he was good is so much to me. And yeah it is really interesting to put in comparaison to how he stuck to the Romeo's role. Sakuya kept repeating he'd be okay just being on the stage, but this was the one time, i think, that he allowed himself to be selfish. That he found something he wanted to be good at. Tsuzuru had written this role for him, laid all those hopes for him. And i feel like Sakuya was always so desperate to fill the expectations of his families, only to realize that those expectations was just for him to be as little of a problem as possible so he could be forgotten somewhere. While for once, he had an expectation on him that required him to be himself, and to bloom and grow as himself, and i think eventually, for once, to have this encouragement, really helped him for once to try to reclaim some place for himself. Meanwhile, yeah, i have no doubt there's a whole idea also of Sakuya thinking he's never going to be good enough, which is also why he is so eagger to try once someone give him a chance. But i want to give him a hug so bad too, my precious soon….

And really Hisoka's whole reaction to it was so soft. Like i said, already Hisoka just cares for Sakuya, but i also think like. Sakuya is a highly neglected kid, who basically erased himself for the sake of others. Hisoka, at this point in the story, has lived his memory loss as being erased from others's people lives as well, which was why he was so distant and aloof at the start, with no reason to try to connect to anyone. And i think it may play on how Hisoka just thinks that erasing yourself like that is just too much of a suffering that a sweet kid like Sakuya doesn't deserve.

I'm honestly just. so soft on "Hisoka: guardian of Sakuya's happiness". And the cat thing is so bites fist. Of course in the event they draw a direct comparaison to his role as the cat to the plushy, but it adds that there were a few backstages too where Sakuya kept comparing him to a cat. For instance, the Cheshire Cat's preparation N backstage had Sakuya basically decide "how to best act like a cat. I know. I'm going to learn from Hisoka.". It's like such a running joke between those two that i find it so sweet and gentle.

Back to chronology: listen you go "you know more than curry?" but she legit made them gingerbread. Gingerbread. That's still spices :sob: Girl still has a tunel vision, even if it's a little larger than usual.

For the other teams oh god yeah, it was such a mess. Tsuzuru suffering through puns. BUT YEAH, TRULY VERy CHRISTMASSY compared to the rest. They actually put an effort into it! Meanwhile Muku's team all on fanservice. Itaru and Tasuku being all "why are we doing this", meanwhile i can imagine yen signs in Sakyo's eyes as in "if it means the devoted fanbase invest in us, it's good. Do it again." Sakyo would totally exploit the fanservice there i swear. And the Sakyo/Azuma play was SO FUNNY it was SO DRAMATIC. And tbh with how much Azuma flits with Sakyo in backstages i have to believe it's Azuma who went "what if i play your lover ;D" while Sakyo is just "…. if it makes for a good play i'm in.".

BUT YEAH good set up for the mixed troupes, i love a3's build up.

Ok so obviously about the whole bit about Hisoka, i can't say much, despite wanting to say a lot, but well shoves fist in mouth i'm quiet. I love your thought process though. and yeah!! Sakuya being the one on stage really helped here. He's truly the king at improv to save his companions in time of troubles. I also still find it so touching that Sakuya went to check on Hisoka after the play because he caught on that something was going on, this kid is so perceptive.

and DLKFJD for the stealth HELP. And good question for Citron, that does raise question. Maybe Citron woke up to see it happen and realized it was for Sakuya to have a merry christmas and he closed his eyes back in solidarity. Or Hisoka's stealth is just that good! who knows!

DLKFJDLFKDF that line is so good. Homare i love you so much, don't ever change.

It was really a sweet event! i really loved their dynamic and truly as someone who adores those two; those two lonely kids, i was so in love with this event. crying so hard thinking about it everytime. But yeah, it kept such a good balance of fun and sweet that the little angsts there was wasn't soulcrushing. I truly adore this event

Glad you had fun and thank you for the sweet message <333 i didn't have the best of christmas to be honest but this ask truly lifted my spirit again a little, it was so nice to relive the event that way and it reminds me just how good those kids are. Thank you so much for the message <3333

Take care and i wish you a merry christmas :3c

[kheta]

The Lesbian One

SakuHina head canon where the dark haired, noble clan inheriting child she falls in love with is Hinata instead of Sasuke. 

Bullies were making fun of Sakura for her forehead and Hinata said, through bright red blushes that she thinks Sakura is the prettiest girl Hinata knows, other than her Mother.

This gives Sakura self-confidence of doom and she doesn’t care about her looks anymore because suck on that, kind, cool Hinata thinks she’s the prettiest girl around!

Sakura giving Hinata the support she deserves.

Hinata being grateful and always reminding Sakura how cool Sakura is.

Hinata still being shy, but working on her shyness because there’s no way Sakura doesn’t praise the very ground her crush walks on.

“HINATA-CHAN! YOU DID IT! YOU’RE SO AWESOME! Isn’t she awesome Ino????”

Academy Arc:

Hinata told Sakura she wanted to be a strong shinobi like her father, but kind like her mother and Sakura heard “I wanna be the strongest ninja out!” To make sure her crush succeeds in her goals, Sakura promised to be the best kunoichi ever, so her and Hinata could be equals.

She studies to be the top kunoichi of her year and trains with Hinata a lot, complementing Hinata for every hit she makes and drowns Hinata in support.

Sakura hates Naruto. With a passion, nothing to do with Naruto being Naruto and everything to do with Hinata crushing on him. This hate manifests in her declaring them rivals.

Sakura is 100% the type to wonder why her rivals an idiot and to feel frustrated that an idiot like Naruto makes Hinata blush or laugh. The angrier she is the more she demands to spar him in taijutsu, they both get dramatically good at it.

Sakura because if Naruto drags a fight to stamina he’d totally win, so she figures she needs to get stronger with her form, finish the fight sooner. Naruto because he’s always been a hands on person and kata’s don’t make any sense to him, but whatever Sakura-chan does works for her, so he doesn’t mind copying her. Plus, Sakura's scary strong when she wants to be and Naruto makes a point of not getting hit from her.

Naruto becomes the fastest ninja in their year...Whenever Sakura’s involved. Not even Sasuke can catch him when he’s running from Sakura and he’s tried, it’s good practice.

Hinata once made an off-handed remark when she was training that Naruto has some pretty large chakra coils and Sakura’s been trying to increase her chakra coils since. (Muttering, “Stupid Naruto can barely hold a kunai right without me having to smack him sideways but he’s the one Hinata compliments?”) Moral is Sakura makes him a very competent ninja, but only because she’s like “An idiot like you can’t even aim properly, look at me, I’m better! Shifting my weight properly, unlike you!” and Naruto just copies her because to prove people wrong is in his blood and if she can do it, then all he has to do is copy her to do it better.

Unfortunately she can’t do much for his chakra control in the academy.

Everyone at the academy except Ino and Shikamaru thinks Sakura likes Sasuke because once she during an argument with Ino she screamed that “DON’T BE STUPID I LIKE” Pointed at Hinata, who happened to be with Sasuke. She didn’t finish the sentence because she looked at Hinata when she pointed and Hinata smiled and she melted.

Sasuke figures out Sakura doesn’t like him when he notices she blushes around Hinata more than him and this one time Hinata dropped one of her salves, so he gave it back to her the next day in class and the glare she gave him was telling.

As long as you’re not Hinata, Sakura has no problem expressing her crush. When Hinata’s around she never says I like you Hinata, but her actions are telling.

Sakura and Ino are still best friends because only Ino wants Sasuke and they only fight when Ino says Sasuke is better than Hinata.

Ino gets way better at taijutsu as well, because if her best friends going to be the strongest kunoichi then hell no is Ino gonna get left behind.

It gets to a point where Inoichi’s like “Ino darling you don’t need to be so serious about taijutsu, you know how we Yamanaka fight” and Ino’s like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN? HELL NO IS SAKURA GONNA BE STRONGER THAN ME, I REFUSE TO BE PROTECTED BY HER!!!!”

Genin Arc:

Hinata is an oblivious eggplant and thinks Sakura is just a very supportive friend.

Kiba, “She asked you to live happily with her as the strongest kunoichi in the future,”

Hinata, eyes sparkling, “Yeah isn’t it cool, I’m so lucky to have such a supportive friend with me.”

Kiba ships Hinata and Happiness (it’s canon guys) so he’s Sakura’s biggest wingman but Hinata manages to turn every cute, romance-y moment they have into a friend thing.

Kiba could see Sakura’s crush from a mile away, it wasn’t until the Chunin exams that he realised they weren’t dating though. This is when he begins being Sakura’s wingman.

Scene:

Kiba looks over at Hinata, “You know...If we meet Sakura and them in this exam, I won’t let you hold back. We’ve worked too hard for your feelings to stop us and if she’s the enemy, we face her.”

Hinata smiles softly at Kiba and stammers out, “I’d never do that, Sakura-chan would hate it if I held back against her, as her friend I will fight her with my all!”

“I do not believe Kiba means your feelings as her friend? Why? Because it is clear he is speaking of the deeper connection you two share.”

“Ano– Ino-san is her best friend, though Sakura-chan and I are certainly good friends.”

Cue two more minutes of them tryna coax Hinata to admit her and Sakura have something before they realise Hinata doesn’t know about Sakura’s crush and looking at each other in amazement because like. Now that they’re genin, Sakura is way less subtle because she misses Hinata and wtf, how had Hinata not realised yet?

Also Sakura wins her fight with Ino bc Ino’s strong af but she doesn’t have any concrete goal in mind, she’s just getting strong to be Sakura’s equal and Sakura’s like ‘giiiirl I’m tryna be the strongest to protect my wife you hear!’

When Sakura meets Neji she understands what true hatred is and it’s only Kakashi’s warning her that Hinata would hurt more if she jumped in that stopped her from trying to fight him. She doesn’t speak to Kakashi for the whole month she trains, trying to justify if Hinata’s pride was worth her life.

She totally trains with Gai for that month because Kakashi is lazy and Gai was around and Sakura is hella strong, she just needs motivation like Gai!

Hinata still has a big fat crush on Naruto until shippuden and when she canon confesses and nearly dies, Sakura confesses to her and says shit like “You don’t have to love me/ I’ve accepted that you won’t, no matter how hard I try. But as your friend I want you to promise, you won’t ever do something so reckless. I don’t wnt to lose you Hinata. You’re my special person I can’t lose you.”

Hinata is 140% confused and then like. She just notices Sakura. How fucking cool and kind she is and she’s always appreciated Sakura and thought she was beautiful but. She’s never really looked at those arms and damn are they defined. And her smile just makes Hinata feel at ease?

There’s no big crisis for Hinata, she realises quite quickly she’s getting feels for her bff but like shes Hinata. Sakura confesses a crush she’s had for years on this girl with the self confidence of a potato chip and said potato chip pines bc shes an idiot potato

everyone is Big Mad, even fucking Naruto

hes like ‘girl i cant like u. its against the bro code, pls talk to my bff’ and hinata is thinking ‘i know u ass. i just cant tho. shes legit perfection and ive hyped her up my whole life even if we like eavh other it wont work and family and a motherfuckn war’

Gaiden Arc:

THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER OKAY! STRONGEST KUNOICHI COUPLE EVER! 10/10 ADORED BY EVERYONE. HINATA ISN’T CLAN HEAD BUT SHE’S ONE OF THE BEST DIPLOMATS IN TOWN, SAKURA IS THE TOP HEALER AND THEY’RE BOTH BLACK OPS MEMBERS. HINATA TRAINS ANBU IN INFILTRATION AND SAKURA TAKES THEM IN MEDICAL STUDIES. THEY ARE HAPPY ASF

[drewseph]

[cdfreak]

people who grew up rich but were poor in college are like not that much better than people who grew up rich and stayed rich they are JUST as annoying

[frankierose]

ok so like. ive read actual fun ghoul x frank fics before (dont ask why....) and. the ‘id fuck me’ comment frank made today just sent me into full on defense mode //FUTUER edit: the original draft was made on march 28th and honestly i forgot about that comment he made till now SJJSFM

[luvbrie]

treasure reaction to idolcrush!reader getting eliminated on a survival show

pairing: [seperate] ot12 x reader / ot12 x idolcrush!gn!reader

HYUNG LINE || MAKNAE(ish) LINE coming soon !!

warnings: been in my ygtb feels lately… u get eliminated in a 1:1 match, also positions of the reader (rapper, dancer etc) are based off the member (e.g. haruto = rapper!reader), also this has been in my drafts for 2+ weeks so i wanted to post it even tho it's unfinished IM SORRY

wordcount: 1.3k words / bulletpoint reaction

hyunsuk

song — regular by nct 127

he fell in love with your performance omg

your talent: UNPARALLELED

you had so much potential!! he was excited to see you grow as a rapper omg

literally gets so soft when you get all smiley from getting a compliment from the main producer

but then…..YOU LOST???

this dude was SHOCKED

but at the same time he wasn’t

like honestly he’d know that popular idols will get eliminated because it brings in the moneyyy

but still!

he didn’t actually expect you to get eliminated so early on?

hoped SO BAD that there would be a second chance for you

like he’s just in denial for so long

he just. he refuses to believe that that just happened

he got super sad when you were saying your goodbye speech :(

he wished the speech was longer AND IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN bc it was like 4 seconds long and you deserved way more

it’s not even hyunsuk’s opinion it was a FACT

expect backlash from twitter user @i_am_not_hyunsuk99

jihoon

song — epiphany by bts

you both knew each other while you were training

he was bored and decided to spend his free time with the new trainees

jihoon actually found out abt the survival show thru you,,so it’s pretty much a given he’s already attached to you from the second you show up on screen

then you preformed and oh boy

he could cry at your vocals

he probably has already but i won’t talk about it to save his pride.

jihoon was SO proud of you :(

he was reaching for his phone to compliment you on your “win” and,, jihoon being jihoon, clown you over the small shake in your voice towards the beginning

he just freezes seeing the pure look of joy in your eyes

park jihoon IS MELTING. OVER YOU!!

he’s so whipped god help him

he was so ready to hear your name shouted through the mic as you moved on to the final line up to debut

he’s so cocky about it like he’ll lean back in his chair absolutely CONFIDENT you will win.

but then you don’t.

and he has to pause the video to physically go ‘???????’

he has to prepare himself cause he knows you’re gonna cry and just the thought alone breaks his heart

like hyunsuk, he gets upset when you do your goodbye speech, but it’s not the end.

because this man is a doer

a very, extremely impulsive doer

you don’t even have to wait a day to have your ‘ex’-manager show up at your door, telling you you’ll debut as a soloist, with jihoon standing beside them with a stupid smug grin on his face

yoshinori

song — spring day by bts

his heart is breaking even before you get eliminated, or before your performance starts

because the song you chose was actually in tribute to your best friend that was eliminated in an earlier episode

you two constantly were talking about debuting together, but of course, that couldn’t happen

after they got eliminated, you promised them you would debut, and that they just have to wait a little bit longer

you were paired against one of your other friends for the 1:1 battle too and yoshi knew this episode was going to kill him.

he tries his hardest not to sob his eyes out

instead he sobs his heart out

he thought your performance was perfect, and despite being a rapper, you sang part of the harmonies and he just closes his eyes and appreciates you cause HELLO!! YOU SOUNDED SO ANGELIC

after it was announced that you lost, he Didn’t know what to do with his life

like everything he’s ever known

a LIE.

no but seriously he’s so UPSET???

you thought he sobbed his heart out before well apparently he’s got two hearts cause he DID IT AGAIN

your ending speech was just ‘i broke my promise.’ and he wanted to just run through the screen and hug you

he’s not Ok

j-line has to step in and help out because yoshi just Stopped working and could only speak japanese

def will get teased about it later but he stands by it. he will argue with the wall if there’s a piece of paper taped on it that says ‘y/n didn’t deserve the attention they got’ bc NOPE HE’S NOT HAVING IT.

junkyu

song — grow up by stray kids

he’s dead

by the chorus, he’s literally all over you

literally doing puppy eyes at you as your sweet voice fills his ears

the song just hits too close to home and he’s constantly sighing in adoration

he is falling in love with how you chose the song because you wanted to let others know that success doesn’t come fast and it’s okay if it takes a while

the song isn’t even by you but the raw emotion in your voice makes it feel so real

throughout the song he’s just like ‘:o wahh… WAHH…’ but quietly cause he’s just so amazed…

please he’s so cute

by the time you’ve finished, he’s forgotten it was actually like 3 am and very loudly goes ‘WOOOWW!!!’

jihoon tells him to SHUT UP and sleep but he doesn’t because it’s ‘loving y/n hours’ (junkyu’s words not his)

but no amount of sweet fawning could prepare him for the next couple seconds of this episode

jaw dropped.

you… lost….

he sits like that for so long just looking around, looking anywhere but the monitor

it takes him a bit to build his courage to start the video again

dude this boy gets out a tissue and ‘wipes’ your tears as footage of you crying appears on his screen

he’s doing some sobbing himself

kyu buys you your favorite snacks and sends them to your dorm to attempt to cheer you up cause he’s too scared to see you in person

fears he will just end up Sobbing right in front of your face and he’d very much like to keep his dignity

but little did he know that jihoon caught a video of kyu wiping your tears through his computer monitor LMFAOO

jaehyuk

song — one in a million by twice

the way you’re singing makes him feel so nice

literally your choice of song has him at a chokehold

but like a very soft chokehold like he’s just forever chained to this song now

he’s so smiley throughout your performance omg

would be the king of praise but his vocab only consists of ‘aigoo’ and ‘cute’

actually tho jaehyuk is amazed by your performance

he is so proud of you pt 2

even if the only words he can get out are ‘they’re so cute!’ he feels so much more

he thinks you’re amazing as a person and your smooth voice just tops it all off

honestly could go on and on about you if given the chance

would scramble to add your cover to his playlist as soon as he can PLEASE

he screen records your performance

but he immediately stops it after hearing you lost

no, he’s not embarrassed or anything

he’s just ??? baffled ??? like there’s no way that you LOST

THERE’S NO WAY YOU LOST AFTER A PERFORMANCE LIKE THAT

furiously opens twitter and is pleased to see that the majority of people agree

although he wants to pull a jihoon and march right up to the producer to give you the chance you deserve, he doesn’t really know how to go about it

so he’s just sulking for the next week

or maybe two

he’ll start sulking anytime someone mentions it actually.

he’s so sad about it since he knows you worked really hard to get that far but he’ll send you nice messages on twitter

forgot to switch accounts tho so all the boys saw jaehyuk’s very heartfelt message to you and your elimination

TREASURE WILL NEVER LET HIM LIVE IT DOWN.

instant regret but at least you acknowledged him :,)

[hotchnerxo]

Our Past Life: Chapter 2

Masterlist

Pairing: Aaron hotchner x gn!reader

Summary: You come to meet your old friend, Hotchner at his office. You went to lawschool together, but ended up on very different life paths. You ended up being a internet entertainer, Hotch a leader of BAU. Are these differences too much, is it too late for them to make it?

Words: 3.4k

A/N: This is a fluffy fluff chapter. So soft and cute! Im also so excited for this story. I have a lot of draft pages, so be on the lookout for more. Feedback is always more than welcome. This chapter is pretty long. Reader gender neutral, they/them pronouns (let me know if I have missed a spot) Also, message me of tag me if you wish to be on my mention list whenever the new chapter's up.

Content: Mentions of anxiety, abuse and self-harm. Sad boy Hotch. This chapter is fluffy and cute tho.

The day was coming to an end. After a few hours of paper work and meetings, that seemed to go on forever, Aaron leaned back on his chair. He had a tough decision to make; whether he's going to stay at work for a couple more hours, going thru some of Cruz's files that he had asked him to stay on top of, or respond to you, who had texted him about an hour ago. He wasn't sure what to think of this whole situation, so he decided to focus on work a bit longer and get back to it later. But he really should do that now.

It all happened so fast. It's been a couple of years since you’ve last seen properly. Sure, you’ve kept in touch here and there but you have both been busy. Or just trying to keep yourselves busy. You live on the other sides of the country, you in San Fransisco and he in Quantico. Over 2500 miles between you. Why are you here now? Would going out just bring unnecessary hurt? But you are a good friend he gets to see so rarely, it would be rude not to go.

But the words 'I miss you' came out of your mouth earlier today and that sealed the deal. There was no way Aaron would miss this chance to talk with you face to face. And the fact that you’re all the way here from California. There's no way he could stop himself from going, he never could resist you. And clearly, he still can't.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. It was his coworker, Grant Anderson, quite normal looking guy, good at his job. He prefers office work over field work, he is also helping Cruz out as he is gone. "Agent Hotchner" he started " I was thinking if it would be possible to go home a bit early today. I've done most of the paper work and the meetings are okay and the reports are filled. And my own cases are handled and" it was clear he was avoiding eye contact.

Hotch lifted his hand as a stop sign for him "You've done good job. Get out of here. Matt will be back soon, I handled rest of the stuff that needs immediate attention, but you can go back to your normal routine. Don't want him to be bored when he gets back, right?" he asks and Anderson chuckles a bit. "Thank you for your help, I appreciate it. Go home."

"Thank you, sir." Anderson nods and turns to leave the office.

On that note, Hotch decided to take a breather too, and text you:

Hey, sorry it took me awhile to respond. Would love to see you tonight.

He puts his phone down at his desk and starts to close things up, getting ready to go home for the day. It's been awhile since the last time he's going home at this hour. It's barely 5pm. But his team was getting ready to leave, so he might aswell. It's not like he could focus anymore, even if he stayed.

Good to hear from you. Are you off from work already? See you in two hours? Sam's bar seemed nice, meet you there at 7?

Nearly two hours later, the clock was getting close to 7. Hotch walked in through the Sam's bar door and took a good look around the open area, trying to see if you had gotten in before him. But there was no sign of that yet, so he walked to the bar, ordered a beer and headed to a booth a few tables away. There you two could talk in private. He sat on the leathered seating of the booth, facing the bar door. He wasn't sure why he'd have to sit on the side, but he thinks it has something to do about his training and always being on alert and aware of his surroundings. It's annoying that even in his free time he can't help but act this way, but the training is so deep in his brain that it is impossible to forget it.

Aaron took a sip of his beer and took a better look around the bar. It was quiet. Only a few other people there at the time, it is Wednesday after all. A young couple sat near the bar, deep in conversation. Maybe in their mid-twenties. Quite normal, nothing extraordinary about them, really. There was an older man, maybe in his late forties, heavily tattooed, quite rough looking. He was drinking alone at the counter, chatting with the bartender. On the far corner, there was a man in a suit, light hair, mid-thirties. It was clear that once he took a glance at him, the suited man was looking back at him.

But Aaron didn't have any more time to think about it as he saw the person he was waiting for walking through the doors, taking his breath away. He just realized how fast his own heart was beating. Was he nervous? You were getting a drink from the bar and headed towards Hotch at the booth he chose.

Aaron stood up. He could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. He wasn't sure why he was this nervous all of the sudden. Why do you have such a hold on him, always making him, a grown man, feel so giddy. Like a teenager in front of their crush. It was weird. But he couldn't think more of it as you leaned in for a hug and Aaron was sure he was gonna melt. Reluctant to let go, you parted from the hug and sat down opposite sides of the booth, not looking away for a moment from each other, as if both were scared to lose the other any moment.

"I'm glad you came" you finally stated after a long silence.

"No way in hell I would have missed this chance" Aaron smiled. He didn't want to let you know of hesitating for so long earlier. He took a sip of his beer. "What brings you here?"

You lean forward on the table "Aaron" you start with a sad but kind smile. It was clear to him you were trying to find the right words. "I want you"

"What? What do you mean?" Hotch was briefly taken aback how straight forward that was. But his heart rate was calming down and you continue:

"I want you back. It's been killing me since the day I let you go, I never should have done that. I want you back. I have been trying to keep myself busy from the years of hurt. I've tried going forward, dating someone else, focusing on work, all that crap. But it all feels like nothing unless I have you. The texts here and there are pure pain because I miss you. I've missed you for so goddamn long. And I can’t take it anymore. I know you're not with anyone" you started to ramble, and the words just flooded out, barely breathing between words.

"How do you know that?" Aaron was blown away by all this information coming his way.

You could feel yourself blushing. "Am I wrong?" Aaron shook his head as an answer. "I know I should have said this a long time ago. But I don't know what kept me from saying it to you. I had to come see you, and once I saw you today in your office, It all made sense to me and by the way, you look incredible in that suit you wore today, not that you look bad ever" you kept talking, hardly even remembered to breathe in the middle of your sentences.

"(Y/N)" Aaron took his hand to yours that was on the table "Calm down, we have all night."

You take a long breath and went on "I just miss you and I want to be with you. I hope I'm not too late." you shoot your eyes down, part embarrassed, part exhausted from that outburst. But Aaron didn't let go of your hand at any point.

"You think I have been able to think straight for weeks since talking to you? Because I haven't. And seeing you in the office today out of the blue, I swear my heart is going faster than a race car. And it still is. But I don't know how we are going to make this work. You live on the East Coast, I in here. It's not like we can drive to each other's place every other night." Once he started talking, he couldn't stop himself. Because my god, he's missed you. "All I do know right now, is that I've missed you, and I’m glad to see you’re here." Aaron said and took a sip of his almost empty glass. You did the same, your face flustered.

"But what are we going to do then?" you then asked, looking down to your drink, thinking you might be too late. Maybe your outburst would scare him away, despite his words.

"Catch up. It's not like we're in a hurry. I just want to take this moment in. I mean, when was the last time we really talked? Especially face to face?" you were unable to answer that. You didn’t remember. It’s been months, at least since you’ve texted back and forth. You’ve seen him in news here and there, you’ve sent him photos of your accomplishments and sometimes just jokes to brighten his day a little. "Exactly. It's been awhile." Aaron's smile was so warm, it was unusual. "Tell me everything. How's Top Priority doing? And Charlie?"

you let up a little laugh. "Well, it is doing great. I love my job, not exactly what I was going for when studying law. But oh well. Life is weird '' you rambled all about your career, your filming rithual and your fan base and all. Hotchner was listening and his heart felt so full it was weird. You were so in the zone when talking and passionate. And seeing your friend smiling and being truly interested in what you had to say, you just kept going. Telling all about Charlie, their family, their crew. All about the book you’re writing, the talk show you and charlie are hosting online, trying your best not to spoil anything in case he was interested to check them out.

"That sounds like fun" Aaron said, truly captivated by your story. He's seen a few episodes of Top Priority and it's a fun show for sure. Sometimes, you two would think back to their childhood and old memories on the show. It reminds him of the good old days when they were young, laying in the grass and talking about anything and everything. Until all that changed as Aaron had to move away to Seattle and You left everything behind to go for your dreams aswell.

"Anyways, my life is an open book, actually quite literally and a public one even. How's life been treating you? I've seen a few articles about you in the newspapers about catching some pretty dangerous people. Also the news and all. It's pretty impressive"

How is his life really going? He’s overwhelmed, his anxiety is back, and on top of everything, he’s questioning his worth. "Life's been a rollercoaster" he said trying to seem relaxed.

"I bet it has. Your team seems awesome. And nosy" you laughed. As did Aaron. Ahh, the sound of his laugh, it brought back the butterflies in your stomach. You had barely gotten rid of them before you walked in the bar. He looks so handsome in his suit, it’s a different one you saw him in at his office today. It hugged his figure at the right spots. You just now realize how lean he looks and how wide his shoulders are. A part of you thinks back to few hours ago as you touched his arm and you could feel how strong he must be. He’d definitely have the strength to push you against a wall if he wanted to, and you wished he’d do that right now. You shake your head a tiny bit to get that image out of your head and focus on the man’s words.

"We all work so much, we're basically a tight family. They're just looking out for me. And they're curious. Penelope's a fan of yours too, which I found out today"

You go through the encounter you had earlier today with this woman. " She sure seems like a character." you mention.

"She sure is. She's the sweetest. And a bit weird at the same time. But probably one of the sweetest people on this planet." Aaron went on to tell all about his team, of which he is very proud of. They're truly like a family, they joke around, they look after each other, they are shoulder to cry on and everything in the middle. He told all about Derek and his kick-down-the-door ways. All about Spencer, the all knowing kid. All about Dave, his 'old friend' as he likes to call him teasingly. All about Prentiss, her stubbornness and sassiness. All about JJ, especially JJ, as she is basically his right hand, they do a lot of stuff together. They're like Batman and Robin, as people like to call them. And it was your turn to be fascinated. You live in such different worlds. You work in entertainment industry, making people laugh for a living and Hotch fights crime, putting himself in the harm's way in order to save others.

"Do you like your job?" you then asked and finished your drink.

Aaron had to think for a moment. "I do. I mean, it sucks sometimes, but it's very rewarding in the end. And I would die for my team, so it's not like I could leave them. So, all in all, Yes. I do. Although it is complicated" he shared. He noticed the way you were looking at him quite intense and he felt himself blushing. He wasn't sure why you were looking at him with such a look in your eyes, but it sure turned something inside of him, something exciting. He looked back at you, trying to copy the look. "What" he asked for an explanation for the look.

"Nothing" you stated, but with a spark in the corner of your eye.

During your conversation, a few more people had gotten inside the bar, apparently some of them to escape the rain that was now pouring outside. Some of them had umbrellas with them that were soaking, and others weren't so lucky to be carrying one with them, so instead, they dribbled down on the bar floor themselves. The young couple had left, but other than that, the same people were still in, in addition to a few new ones. Two middle aged men sitting at the counter deep in conversation, one of which's wife looked rather bored next to them, enjoying a glass of white wine as if it was the only reason she'd came there. Highly possible.

Time flew surprisingly fast, soon you both realized to take a look at your phones for once: it's almost 10 o'clock. Hotch had a couple of messages from Reid, who'd sent some article and a message following "interesting!". JJ had also messaged him a couple of times:

"Did you go? I hope you did. You deserve a break. They made you smile. A keeper, I tell you. " 7:23 PM

"Aaron?" 7:47PM

"I think from the lack of response, you did go. Good. Or you fell asleep. Also good. Or you're in a ditch somewhere. Not so good, so I'm hoping for the options 1 or 2. Definitely needing some details tomorrow. If I don't see you tomorrow, I'm going to come and look for you in the ditch. Have a good night!" 8:15PM

Aaron took a quick glanze at the messages, but couldn't take his focus out of the the person in front of him for a long time. He was so caught in the moment right now to care about messages on his phone. But seeing the time caught him off guard. "Whoa, it's getting pretty late".

"What? Really? Time flies when you're having fun, or so I've heard." your eyes were dark and deep and Aaron felt like you were eating him with your eyes and surprisingly, he was very okay with that. "Should we get going? You probably have an early morning tomorrow."

Unfortunately, you were right. He did have an early morning coming, filled with meetings and presentations. But he didn't want this moment to end. He had finally gotten to see you again, who knows when he's gonna see you again. Speaking of which "How long are you in town?"

"About a week, we're doing some business arrangements in here." you stated without clarifying more.

That was good enough for him. "Okay. But yeah, let's get going. I live quite close by so I might make it home rather dry. Where are you staying?" He asked while pulling on his jacket. It's rather cold outside, so he was happy he had brought a jacket with him. He helped your jacket on, like a gentleman he’s always been. Something’s never change, you think and accept his help.

As you were making your way out of the pub, you told him about the hotel you and Charlie were staying in. Charlie had stayed back in the hotel with their coworker Anna as you were out here. You were also telling how Charlie and Anna had practically pushed you out of the door to go and meet up with Aaron. Altho Hotch was trying his best to pay attention to your words, he kept getting distracted: your lips look so good, you smell so familiar, your smile is as perfect as it has always been and seeing small lines forming around your eyes were telling a story about you smiling a lot. But he was also very overwhelmed at the same time, he could feel his anxiety pounding in his chest again, and the hair in his neck getting up for some reason. He felt like he was being followed, but as getting a glimpse behind them, there was nobody there. He wasn't sure if he was more anxious or just nervous to be around the person that he has loved since law school. Maybe both? But it was frustrating, because he just wanted to be happy and in the moment. But a part of him was stopping himself from being happy and enjoying the moment. "Are you going to take a cab there or?" Aaron questioned but you insisted on walking him home.

"If that's okay, of course?" it was your turn to ask. Without a doubt, Aaron agreed, and you ended up walking to his place, which was just a couple of minutes away anyways. There was tension between you, both of you wanting to make a move towards the other, your hands bumping into each other and you walk, at times neither of you saying anything, just taking a glimpse of each other when the other isn't looking. It felt comfortable, in a way he hasn't felt in so long. He was kind of cursing how close to the bar he lived, because the walk was about to come to an end. His apartment was now at sight and Aaron couldn't help but sigh a little.

"You still live in here?" you asked nodding towards the apartment building. The other nodded as an agreement.

"Haven't really spent a lot of time there, mostly been at work unfortunately" Aaron said and rubbed the back of his head in slight embarrassment for some reason. He loved his job, but he does know he doesn't really have anything else in his life than work, and that's kind of pathetic of him.

You chuckled "That's alright. I like your apartment" you say. You’ve been there a couple of times when you and Charlie have been visiting throughout the years apart.

"Do you want to come inside?" A little bit of hope sparked in his eyes. He wasn't sure why his heart was beating faster than usual. Something about you just makes his mind blurr. And without hesitation you agreed. There was so much electricity between the two of you as you climbed your way to the third floor. It's like your hand were drawn together like two magnets, but both of you trying your best not to give in to it. But your hands kept brushing in to each other, sending shivers down the other's spine whenever the lightest touch happened. No words were said, both of them kind of stuck in their own head, trying to keep their cool. As if two teens were sneaking into the other's room past their curfew. But the difference is, they're both at their late 30's, not anymore two teenagers. It felt like ages before Aaron turned the key in the lock and the door opened.

The apartment doesn't feel like a home. A place that's been treated well and that was welcoming. It didn't feel like that for neither of you. To Aaron it's just a place he goes to sleep whenever he's not at work. And that's all he wants to do, whenever he's at home. He's constantly tired. There's not much decoration, not really anything to make it look more cozy. There's just the essentials. A tv on the table, dark couch and a book case that had a lot of books in it. It made you smile a little, remembering what a bookworm Aaron used to be as a teen.

Hotch could almost read your thoughts "I know this apartment isn't exactly cozy, but it works. I haven't had much energy to decorate the place" Aaron took a little look around the place while placing his own jacket to the hanger. You put your own to the back of the couch, and sat on the dark seating. It was very comfortable and it felt new.

"It's okay. It's not like I haven't been here before." you smiled at the man taking a seat right next to you. You couldn't take your eyes off of him. He looked so... strong. His arms looked so toned. And his shirt was tight around him and you could finally see him totally in front of you. Without the jacket on him, without a table between them. You could feel his breath, see his eyes so bright; yet there was something in his eyes that you didn't recognize. But at the same time, there was a certain sparkle in them that you had really missed. And that look always grows a certain kind of hunger inside of you. When did you start holding your breath? All you wanted to do was put your hand on his, over his body, see what the years apart have done to the boy you once was in love with. If his body looks so amazing when clothed, you’re a little afraid of how overwhelmed you’d be if you saw him without that shirt right now. *(Y/N), pull it together. Just be in the moment* You tried to breathe normally and focus on the man infront of you instead of the image of his body pressed against yours. But your brain lost the fight, and you leaned in to kiss the man in front of you and you weren’t sure if you were surprised or not to get as eager response to the kiss. Your mind went blank. He opened his lips just a tiny bit to deepen the kiss and at the same time you felt Aaron's palm at the back of your neck.

The kiss felt like it was going forever but at the same time, not long enough. Neither of you wanted to part. The kiss was a mixture of hunger and longing. It was so full of mixed feelings. Yet, it felt like it was just yesterday that you'd kissed the last time.

The last time...

When you had decided that you were in the right place, but the wrong time. And it broke you both. To decide your dreams were so different. That your universes were pushing you apart and you were just holding on to each other as if your lives depended on it. The kiss in the parking lot after you had packed your stuff to a van and were to drive on the other side of the country to pursue your dreams. Charlie was waiting in the van, you were leaning your back on the side of the van, holding your arms around Aaron, reluctant to let go. Your eyes were red but with a sparkle of hope of future. A tear drop was falling down your cheek. Aaron tried to smile for you and your future. Tell you what a great opportunity this is for you and your business partner. How excited he was for you. Of course he was, but a part of him wanted you to stay and it was tearing him apart inside. Both of you.

"Until next life" you whispered as you parted from the kiss, taking a step back towards the open van door, holding the man's hand on yours until he couldn't reach them anymore. Apologetic look in your eyes you turn away and step up in the van. The three words kept playing in Aaron's head as he tries to keep smiling and waving good bye, watching you heading for your dreams.

Until next life.

You both remember this day as if it happened yesterday. This feeling made Aaron part from the kiss, even when his head was screaming at him to not do it. He rested his forehead against yours, his eyes still closed. He was trying to find words, but his brain was totally blank around you. No other person has ever made him feel this way before. Only you. Taking in his smell made your heart hurt. "(Y/N)" he sort of gasped. "I don't know if this is smart". A voice in Hotchner's head was shouting at himself to stop ruining it, to take you in, take it further. Make up for the time lost. That he needed more. He needed closer. But a small, vulnerable side of him was stopping him. He didn't want to get hurt again. Was it too late? Maybe. But he had to try. "I don't think this is a good idea" Aaron sighed and leaned his forehead against yours.

You were disappointed that the kiss was now interrupted, but he was right. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe you’d come too late, tried to change things too late. Trying to make plans that were just not possible anymore. Partly, you were beating yourself up for not talking to him first about the plan you and Charlie’d been having. But you thought the man would be happy, too. "You may be right. But I want to tell you something before we make a decision" you pulled away, now looking into his whiskey colored eyes, that stared back at you with a confused look in them. There was something else in his eyes that you didn't quite recognize. Something, weighting the man down. But you weren’t sure what that was, so you didn't bring it up.

"Tell me what?" Hotchner now asked as he was getting more curious and impatient to hear what you had to say.

"For awhile now" you started, partly hesitating but also trying to calm your nerves as you were excited. "Me, Charlie and the Priority crew have been thinking about moving to New York" you noticed your gaze lowering down, as if the man in front of you was making you blush with the gaze he had in his eyes. "I know New York is still rather far, but the train ride isn't more than like an hour and that's the reason we're staying in here for awhile to go look at places we might be go for and"

"Why?" Aaron interrupted with a question.

"I know Charlie and his family want to be closer to their parents and Adam, Charlie’s son is going to a high school in there soon and well, I wanted to be closer to you." you raised your gaze again to meet the brown eyes in front of him that looked at him now softly and a small smile appeared on his lips. "I want to be closer to you" you repeated, not sure if admitting that was more for you or him. "I know I should have asked you first, and it's not like I'm going to pressure you to change anything for me, or into a relationship. I just want to have you back in my life, even if it's just as friends but"

You once again got interrupted, but this time not with words but Aaron's hand on your jawline and soon meeting his lips again for a kiss. This time felt different. The air wasn't filled with sadness and missing, this time it was lighter and the kiss felt even better. Oh my, it felt good the way he had his lips against your. A small murmur escaped your lips, and he could feel the other one smiling. You've both missed this more than you thought.

"Yes please" Aaron said, once you both needed to pull back to get some air for a moment. "I mean, I'd love that. But our lives are so different. Do you think you can handle my work schedule? Aka the lack thereof?" Hotchner now said, trying to land his feet back to earth and think things thru.

"I've lived without you for over 10 years now on my side, I think I can live without having you with me everyday. And, we can take it slow. It's been awhile. There's no need to rush. And the move wouldn't happen very quickly anyway, we don't even yet have a studio here or anything. All I know is that I want to give us another try."

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[nitroish]

So if the Links didn’t just wear little hoop earrings, what earrings would they wear?

here we fuckin go babey!!!

legend has fourteen earrings (7 in each ear) and swaps em out often. i draw em w some of them often. (wild gifts him heat res and shock res ones and he goes :OOOO GASP because why didnt HE think of magical protective earrings and he fuckin wears the shock one all the time. its one of the cuff earrings that is on the top shell of his ear. uhh basically the ones i draw him with. are the ones in this answer. <3 KJFGHFD

warriors has dangly earrings that he doesnt wear alot cos they get caught in his scarf and arent really suited for battle. he wears them on a nice night out tho!! i think theyd be pretty? like uhh. triforce earrings, some simple gem looking ones, some simple small chain earrings that hang down, just. anything he finds hed like. he also wears studs but those are BORING. theyre good for subtle but god. god, hes not fucking subtle. he probably found and has the most obnoxious stud earrings. ALSO ear cuffs that wrap around his ears if u know what im talkin bout. decorative and sleek and very fancy.

hyrule has mini jar n bottle earrings w things inside them!! little pieces of plants or dirt or water or even stuff that kinda looks like potions tht are different colours. i think they would be cute. he deserves it. he also has studs but they r subtle and just small gems. he prolly didnt have a ton but when you visit other hyrules and have some downtime maybe. maybe he wants to window shop. and maybe he gives in to those urges to buy. because he Can. also can u imagine him w a sword earring stickin thru his ear. amazing.

i meant to continue this but its been in my drafts for so long that i forgot about it, so im gonna leave it as is, kinda! the rest are gonna be lightning round answers

time: normal earrings. studs, maybe some cuffs? just the default ones that link wears. hed have a collection of cute earrings - cuccos, cows, mini glass jars. theyre all stud earrings with the shapes. he doesnt wear them but theyre cute, arent they??

wind: swords. as. earrings. theyre pirate lookin ones. maybe some studs, maybe some actual wide hoop earrings. hed look nice in gold i think. hed have such a cool arry of earrings. from treasure they found to gifts from people for his and the crews help.

wild: any and all he sees. mostly ones with magical enhancements like his sapphire or whatever ones are in his lobes, and the rest are decorative. hed like the chain ones that dangle and connect earring to earring.

twilight: he has the main link piercing, and the other earrings are purely fake/decorative. he has the ear cuffs that are fuckin gorgeous instead of earrings!

four: five colours: red, blue, green, violet, and black. he likes the small hoop earring. when theyre split they have their respective earring colour. the earring wont always be in the same place - like? it could go like this: blue's is a lip piercing, red's is a helix, greens is a lobe, and violets is a tongue piercing/eyebrow piercing. who knows!!!

sky: oh his are so pretty. maybe big bright earrings are saved for holidays or celebrations for skyloft! he likes ribbon earrings or the classic link earring. he also has an orbital, i think. he doesnt have a ton of piercings, just the two in each ear. he wouldnt be opposed to more, but hes not really actually given thought abt it.

[tomiyeee]

2, 5, 7, 13, 17, and 20 (you gave me so many lol)

under cut cuz it’s long(er than usual)

2) What do you like most about the series?

hm. if im honest, im not entirely sure! i think at least part of what got me hooked and why the series has remained so entertaining for me is just the sheer ridiculousness of it. the faces and animations, the whole concept of an ancient alien race whose society revolves around racing cars...it’s great! i don’t mean this in a bad way or that i dont take any fan content seriously, i just find it amusing looking at my content of it and thinking “man. this from a kids’ show about cars.” makes it much easier to enjoy what i make and not take it all too seriously. im just here to have fun!

5) Favorite & least favorite car(s)?

mm i answered already but i realize those were only acceleracers cars sooo…

fav: markie’s stingray..i always say this but it’s vanilla flavored..it’s so pretty

least fav: gosh all these cars are so ugly it’s hard to pick just one...i’ll just go by teams lol

wave rippers - alec’s truck is so bulky and ugly and boring *graffiti’s on it in vr chat*

street breed - side draft is such a stupid name

road beasts - moto-crossed. what the fuck?

dune ratz - kadeem i love you but...sir ur car…

scorchers - red baron. the fucking. driver has to bend over just to see out the vehicle, how is this a car

7) Favorite scene or line?

vert house scene in BP. i’ve probably watched/listened to BP at least twice as many times as any of the other movies. nolo isn’t in this scene but i like vert too and he looked cute and had nice voice acting so it’s in second place. what can i say, i cant stand action and eating lunch in the cafeteria and talking to ur dad at home is about as far from action as you can get :)

13) What ships do you like (if any)?

i have them all listed on my blog but i wanna talk about some of em that have been on my mind a lot anyway:

vertnolo - tbh i can’t see either of them being very romantic, esp with each other. they aren’t so much boyfriends as they are just friends who like to kiss lol. this ship is almost purely self-indulgence which im a little embarrassed about sometimes but hghhh. i love vert and i love nolo and instead of loving both of them individually, why not love two boys with one ship? :)

banjee/kadeem - they had very cute exchanges in world race and i would’ve loved to see more of them!

banjee/ez/skeet - damn banjee how come i let you have two boyfriends AND a girlfriend? they seem to be canonically very good friends, and i love the idea of the three of them getting into trouble together...or rather banj/ez getting into trouble and skeet being reluctantly dragged along. he seems the least willing to break rules but they are all ride or die for each other

tork/tone - this may not have worked out in canon and there’s not much to work off of there anyway in terms of dynamic so i don’t draw it much, but rival team leaders are always an interesting ship in my experience lol. plus they both desperately needed some character development so hey they have that in common!

dad wheeler/tezla/gelorum - the dilf/gilf/milf dynamic. they are all exes.

lani/vert and karma/nolo - platonically, they both feel like they have a sibling-like dynamic and their aesthetics fit together very nicely. vert and lani have some stuff in common and get along fairly well and karma seems to look after nolo quite a bit. i don’t have a lot of solid ideas for either of them, but seeing/thinking about them interacting makes me really happy :D

17) If you could design a realm of your own what sort of theme would it have?

well i’ve already answered for my flower/forest/fairy-themed aesthetic and fish and stars are already taken...what other aesthetics do i have..?

this is very vague but i really like seeing vibrant pink color palettes. im better at designing stuff thru drawing than text but i dont feel like drawing rn so ig just something that looks like either this warm pink sort of palette or this purple-ish one. like a sort of..sunset realm? not sure about the track or obstacles, i just want it to be pink and pretty. ooh or a crystalline realm!! maybe even combine the two!

20) What would you like to see/have seen in a continuation?

i want the drivers to beat the shit out of tezla. i really loved the parts of ult race where the two teams worked together and made amends, but it’s sad that we didn’t get to see much of that dynamic until the very end, especially since it’s kinda drowned out by all the action (i get it’s the finale, but also...i hate action). i would love to have seen more of those new relationships and how they would work out in different situations. like more of what we got to see of the characters’ interactions throughout the series, only this time its without them all being ~2 secs away from strangling each other.

the characters working together and building completely new dynamics between each other as the series progresses..maybe certain characters become unexpected but very good friends whose personalities complement each other in unexpected ways! maybe there are new conflicts that arise between the characters that stem from their personalities/backgrounds/etc. themselves rather than some arbitrary team rivalry! ooohh there’s just so much potential here!!

[sp-ud]

And here's the bullet point list thats mostly the less negative tftsmp liveblogs missed when in post limit jail, and then some other various stuff here and there.

• At least I already have a tftsmp draft set up, hopefully I can still edit it under post limit

• Girl help, I'm in post limit jail

• Who is "miss lemons" ash (tubbo) has mentioned twice

• BABABOOIE

• hahaha I'm trying to open a Gmail with 63 images. It's shockingly not working /s

• I have broken my tablet I think. I just wanted to redraw reaction images

• They won't let me download the reaction images

• Karl always flirting with sapnap

• Spud breaks her tablet thru memes (not clickbait)

• I'm actually glad there isn't much to crit this episode, cuz im already critiquing the revival arc happening

• Ekgmekfna is my tablet broken? Or just the downloading

• NO THEY SEPERATED THE TWINS

• WELL AT KEAST THEYRE TOGETHER

• Oh I just noticed we can see the usernames in the floor

• Oh ash is back I guess, aite

• AHAHA HE TRIED TO GET TUBBO TO PLAY THE PIANO LIKE HE DID TO KARL

• Wait. Oh no. I looked back up. Why did that part look like The Egg.

• I think I fixed the tablet

• PH MY GOT THE LORE GOT INCOVETED AHAHAHAHAH

• This is starting to bore me.

• Inbetween, you beautiful build but horrible lore

• That was a disappointment of a tftsmp.

• "I'm going to take my adhd meds so I can do school work" *proceeds to critical*

• Anyway that wasn't worth the hype

• I can't focus on my school work. I'm suffering. Fucking minecraft youtuber hyperfixation fucking my grades. "I'll do it later" and then I don't.

• I honestly can't figure out how to get brain yo do school work. Adhd meds Broke. At least it's unlikely I'll sleep so I guess I'll do it then.

• Haha I'm going to fail my classes.

• 20 mins. Actually doing school work. Let's go... but I'm catching up and not doing the graded stuff. But that's because I don't want to fail the graded stuff

• Rmaboo stream :D, and I didn't get here late. Hope chat isn't cringe metagamers