#and then one day i logged online and i was tagged in a post all about how she'd faked having cancer faked abuse faked DYING

[cinematicnomad]

watching the docuseries about that grey's anatomy writer who faked having cancer and a bunch of other insane lies and it is WILD and unbelievable and i cannot wrap my brain around the fact that anyone would do this, but also, apparently she was the one who wrote alex karev's goodbye ep and so now i'm like. raising my hand, i too feel personally victimized by regina george 😂

[newsfromstolenland]

In one private chat group conversation, a Mountie was accused of saying a new female employee "was overweight and insinuating that the shape of her vagina was visible through her clothing."

In another, a second RCMP officer allegedly bragged about "Tasering unarmed Black people" and called a sexual assault investigation "stupid" — drawing comments from other members of the online group who "made fun of the victim" and said, "she's a dumb Mexican c--t."

An investigator with the RCMP's professional standards unit detailed those allegations and many more in a search warrant sworn to obtain evidence now being used to call for the firing of three Coquitlam Mounties for violating the force's code of conduct.

The CBC has obtained a copy of the search warrant — which recounts behaviour which led the officer who sparked the investigation to complain to RCMP brass about what he saw as "atrocious" and "racist and horrible" activity in a private group operating on the Signal messaging app.

Full article

Tagging: @allthecanadianpolitics

More from this article below the cut, because I think it's important to understand just how much fucked up shit they were saying:

(tw misogyny, domestic violence, racial profiling, anti-Indigenous racism, racism)

The documents reveal that investigators also reviewed 600,000 messages posted to the RCMP's internal mobile data chat logs — finding evidence of "frequently offensive" usage by the three officers facing termination of "homophobic and racist slurs."

"The reviewers had identified a variety of comments that were 'chauvinist in nature, with a strong air of superiority, and include flippant or insulting remarks about clients (including objectifying women), supervisors, colleagues, policy and the RCMP as a whole,'" the warrant says.

Code of conduct hearings against Const. Philip Dick, Const. Ian Solven and Const. Mersad Mesbah had been slated to begin in Surrey this week but have been adjourned until March of next year. All three officers have been suspended since June 2021.

Although Dick, Solven and Mesbah appear to be the only Mounties currently facing code-of-conduct hearings, the court documents say seven other officers were also part of the private chat group — including two supervisors.

Among the details contained in the search warrant are allegations one of the officers facing discipline joked about a domestic violence victim, calling the victim "a dumb f--king bitch, should've worn a mouth guard."

The whistleblower — Const. Sam Sodhi — claimed that outside of the private chat group, members of the group also "belittled Indigenous people, talking about how they were 'stupid' or 'drunk' and saying they have 'unfortunate bodies' and all have fetal alcohol syndrome."

"They would say, 'We're not going to the reserve,'" the search warrant claims Sodhi told investigators.

"We're not going there because we're not going to help those people."

According to the court documents, Sodhi was posted to Coquitlam in 2019.

"As part of that process, he wrote a letter about wanting to work in an urban centre and help at-risk youth that didn't have role models," the warrant claims.

But Sodhi claimed that on his second day at work, Dick — his trainer — asked him: "Are you a cool brown guy, or are you a Surrey brown guy? Because in that letter, you're whiny, like, 'Ooh, I want to help brown people.'"

Sodhi claimed there were two chat groups for members of the Coquitlam detachment assigned to Port Coquitlam — one for all members of the watch and a second private group that began on WhatsApp but then moved to Signal. He said he was told once he was "worthy" of the private chat group, "we'll add you to it."

The officer claimed he was admitted to the private chat group in March 2021 but left after a few days because of the "constant negativity." He said he was then accused of "not being a team member" and encouraged to return.

According to the search warrant, Sodhi complained to his superiors in May 2021, and a chief superintendent mandated an investigation into five Mounties — including a corporal who was accused of failing to take measures to prevent misconduct.

The probe initially focused on text communications between the RCMP's own laptops — known as Mobile Data Terminals. Investigators reviewed messages between the five men from January 2019 until May 2021.

"When members of the [Signal] chat group realized there was an investigation, they opined that the investigation was probably about 'MDT chats' ... since the private chat group was kept 'amongst the trusted' and 'there's no way this got out,'" the warrant says.

Examples cited from the RCMP computers include statements like, "Why do brown guys have unusually high pitched voices." "As an idiot woman would say ... 'toxic,'" and, "I just racially profile pulled over a car."

A review of the chat logs also allegedly found the three officers facing termination "appeared to use 'goldfish' as a slur for Asian people."

"For example, they talked about how 'goldfish' have 'bulging eyes' that 'can't see anything,' how a Korean church in the detachment was a 'goldfish church' and how 'goldfish' were bad drivers (a common Asian stereotype)," the warrant says.

[is-the-fire-real]

Another bit on the pro-Pal fandom, this one axiomatic

Being a good person is not the same thing as pretending as though you believe you are a good person.

Being a good person takes work. You have to do stuff. Doing stuff is hard. Doing good stuff is harder, because you have to put thought into determining what you think is good beforehand. That requires self-reflection, honesty, a willingness to challenge oneself, and taking in information from other people to verify that your concept of "good" is, well, good.

The nice part is that once you evaluate what is good and start doing good things, it becomes easier. You gain inner calm, peace, and even joy.

("Good" is not always the same as "necessary". Necessary work can be a slog, or it can be horrific. But there can still be a calming satisfaction at the core, the security that this is necessary and therefore worthwhile.)

Pretending to believe you are a good person takes less immediate work. You don't have to do anything that positively impacts the real world, and you don't have to do any of that annoying, time-consuming self examination. But in the long run, it's more exhausting. By far.

You are insecure about whether or not you are a good person. You're pretending to believe you are good. You can't feel secure in something you pretend to believe. That insecurity gnaws at you, especially when you engage in bad behavior--harassment, doxxing, posting gore, swarming tags, encouraging and promoting suicide among your fellow "activists", telling your opponents to kill themselves, stalking, spamming unrelated content with literal Nazi propaganda.

None of those are good things good people do. And you understand that. You would think someone was bad if they did those things to you. The cognitive dissonance between who you want to be and who you really are, as determined by your actions, is scary. It's painful. It rears up every time someone you have labeled a Zio colonizer scumbag asks you to please just stop and you remember a time when you begged someone--an abuser, a troll online, a 4channer, your parents--to just stop please just leave me alone.

That must feel terrifying, and again, it makes you insecure. It makes you question if you're doing the right thing.

So you do the work to pretend to believe you are good. And that's far more work than goes into being good.

You recruit others, and all of you agree that you will pretend together. Tabletop gaming has taught us how powerful this imaginative play can be. You all reassure each other that you are good and you are right. But since you're all lying to each other, that means you must spend more, and more, and more time every day telling each other that you are good, chasing that high, that feeling that you are a good person and your actions are justified.

You tell each other that your "opponents" in this "battle" are not people, so anything you say or do to and about them is okay. You look at lists of "dehumanizing tactics" and instead of internalizing what those lists are teaching you, you go: "Ah, so if I don't use the word 'vermin', anything I say should be fine!" And then you say it.

You do not smile over good news. You only smile when one of your opponents logs off Tumblr because you made the site unusable and unsafe for them. (The expression you make there isn't really a smile, but we'll call it that, since the corners of your mouth do turn upward.) You tell yourself you're just attacking Zionists and pretend you do not see how you're really going after Jews.

No self-examination; that would mean admitting that you're lying to yourself and others. Instead, you traumatize and exhaust yourself until you're psychologically incapable of self-examination. You watch snuff films. You stare at mangled bodies until you're weeping and physically ill (certainly, you're too ill to check whether the video is real, or if it was taken from this conflict).

You force your beliefs into your fandom spaces so that others, the bad people, cannot escape their complicity in genocide.

But more importantly, you do that so you can't escape.

You cannot engage in any fandom but the pro-Pal fandom because that takes imaginative energy away from your biggest pretense--that you're a good person.

You are NOT hurting people because you are striking a blow for Palestinians. You are hurting people, including yourself, because you do not want to do the work of becoming a good person. You are afraid that self examination, at this point, will reveal to you that you are exactly the sort of person you believe you are fighting.

That fear, that insecurity, that dread, that restless sense that if you ever rest or stop or think for just a moment, you'll discover something awful? That's your conscience.

I do not ask you to change your mind about your political opponents. Your defenses are already on your lips and in your mind; a thousand How Dare Yous for me hinting that you look at other people as people. What I will ask you is to consider this.

I came to young adulthood just as Bush was elected, and the Iraq War post-9/11 was the first war I really followed as an adult. I did what you're doing now. I forced myself to look at photographs of destroyed bodies. I looked at photographs of torture perpetrated by US soldiers. I blogged about it obsessively.

I told myself that I was Doing My Part to end the war. But really, it's that the anxiety of being an American during the war made me insecure over whether or not I was responsible for all of this, and therefore, a bad person. If I pretended my looking at snuff photos was activism, and that it was good, then I could pretend to believe I was good and shout "Not in my name" at protests. I could deny my responsibility.

What I really did was traumatize myself. It's been almost twenty years. I can still see some of those torture pictures in my head. In the end, that is the extent of the impact of my online activism. The blogs are all long deleted, and nobody remembers them.

Only my trauma remains.

I do not want this for you. I want you to be wiser. There is still time. You can stop.

Stop hurting yourself and other people. Do the hard work. Examine yourself and your actions. Consider what your own heart is trying to tell you whenever you start to get the shakes and your throat gets tight. Do not take that feeling out on random people online because they have a Magen David in their pfp.

Once you have done the hard work, it gets easier. You will be able to advocate and work for whatever causes you believe in because you know they are good, not because you're joining your friends in cosplaying goodness. You will still be traumatized, and you will still be sad, and you'll definitely still get angry. You will have to face how you've acted exactly like your own past abusers, and that's a real tough row to hoe.

But at the end, you will be able to advocate and work because you want to, instead of feeling as though you must in order to keep up the masquerade.

[rageprufrock]

I had to write this down so it would stop being inside of my brain--devil judge stupidity

I have a clinical dx that proves I lack the emotional self regulation to stop myself from doing stupid things and I just really really want to write something funny okay!!!! No clue if this is going anywhere. I have approx 100 ideas right now and can't be held responsible for my actions.

Actually, the whole thing is Elijah's fault, because if she exercised any of the restraint she used on the Korean-speaking internet for her English language shitposting accounts, they wouldn't be in this mess at all.

That said, she'll argue to the death that if her shitty uncle is going to subject her to his sweaty, old man chest and walk around the house after one of his workouts dripping sweat with his workout pants half-hanging off of his ass, she's going to shame him like truth coming out of her Instagram.

Unfortunately, the general reaction to her caption ("god my uncle is so gross") turns out to be a tsunami of absolutely unhinged horny commentary from a community she'd previously believed to be upright, clear-minded young women with promising careers in STEM. There's a run on eggplant emojis. There are so many eyeballs. Prayer hands left and right. People are calling Yohan "daddy" in sixteen languages.

It's funny in an absolutely repulsive way, and here, even Elijah has to admit to culpability, because in retrospect, when someone had commented, "so can your auntie fight?" she absolutely should not have posted a picture of Gaon from his army service, sun bronzed with his arms out, and said, "lol yeah."

Yohan works approximately 18 hours a day with breaks for the gym, to psychologically torture her over dinner, and an hour where Elijah puts on her noise canceling headphones and assiduously does not listen to whatever the fuck is happening down the hall in his bedroom. But he's also the nosiest, most intrusive person on the face of the earth with a squadron of terminally online assistants so it's only a matter of time before he's going to find out he's now internet famous and that there's an AO3 tag for "hot uncle/soldier boy (not The Boys)" and destroys all of her electronic equipment.

Gaon, who hasn't logged into social media in like three years, could feasibly go to his grave not knowing--except that he works in the juvenile court system which means she's not totally surprised when he comes home on Tuesday with a weird look on his face and says:

"Elijah, I think we've been hacked," he says, because he's a genuinely nice person who must have committed some kind of heinous crime in a past life to attract Kangs left and right. "I think someone got into our phones, or our wifi. One of my clients showed me a post today that looks like someone stole a CCTV picture of Yohan, and then posted some old picture from when I was in the army."

Elijah is listening with an active grimace on her face, trying to decide what to say and how to say it, when the SmartHome speaker crackles to life and Yohan's voice echoes out of it, saying:

"Kang Elijah, did you out Gaon and I with your fake instagram."

[stranger-opinions]

maybe it's not a writers-block; maybe you just need a break

creativity is a muscle, right?

you need to exercise it to keep it in good shape, to have it ready when you need it and don't we all love those hyperfocused sprints of writing where the words just spill out of our fingertips...

but muscles get sore when you overuse them, will strain when you force them past their limits, they need nourishment to stay healthy and in shape

fandom today has a competitive atmosphere. many wouldn't admit that; it's supposed to be fun after all. just vibing with our mutuals, playing with the blorbos having a fun time online to scratch a few itches.

but the truth is that it can become a lot of pressure rather fast.

putting out several k of (edited) writing a month, setting up painstakingly formatted posts with the right tags and a fun header we spent hours on to look effortlessly cool and eye-catching just to hit post and then feel... nervous. excited too, sure...

but damn, when will the next chapter be finished? or the next one shot? will there be enough time to put a few blubs in between so that the few people who actually seem to care won't forget about us and move on?

writing for writing's sake is a nice notion. the myth of the self-sustaining artist who needs nothing more than a passion and their tools of choice.

but shit isn't just created out of nothing.

what has that all to do with the title of this post do you ask?

very few people can just keep going and going making art like that without needing any breaks and a good portion of those people very likely have very different conditions than most of us have with full-time jobs, families, school and so on.

For many of us writing is a main outlet, an important hobby and a safe space but that still doesn't change that it is a creative hobby, an outlet that demands energy: emotional, mental and physical (typing for hours is hard work if you want to believe it or not) and that sometimes makes it impossible to accept that we just need a fucking break.

"writers-block", in my own experience, is my brain telling me that something is off and that it's on strike until I fucking fix that.

and sometimes it's just that I need a break.

that I need to recharge my creative batteries, take in things that inspire me, that make me happy and get me excited without having to make anything myself. to just be. take some walks amongst trees, watch a new series, read a new book, go into a deep dive of some random topic on wikipedia until I don't know where the fuck I started from.

sometimes I just need to log out, cut the overstimulation of a never ending dashboard, turn off what everybody else on tumblr is doing, how much everbody is putting out, get away from my frustration about "my flopped fic" or the latest fandom drama and reconnect with the real reason I am doing this.

the love for stories and the source material.

for some people those breaks can be as short as two days, for other is might be weeks or months and that is not only okay but totally normal.

sometimes you might realize that the reason you are not writing is that you actually don't want to. sometimes you just want to daydream without the extra work sometimes you're just not in a writing mood and it's not much deeper than that.

that doesn't have to mean you're done with your blorbos. it just means that there are more valid and fun ways to play with them.

don't worry, the fandom will still be there when you decide to pick up the keyboard again. maybe with less people, maybe with many different people but you will always find someone who cares. those who have moved on to different things not come back wouldn't likely have stayed if you had powered through.

fandom shouldn't be a you're in or you're out thing but a place you come to when you want to.

contentification of fandom has had a lot of negative effects on the way we create and so many people fade from their hobby because they simply burn themselves out to a point where it leaves a scar.

so. find something that makes you happy that does not require you to invest too much creational energy. rest those muscles as long as it takes.

nothing you can get on tumblr or ao3 is worth the sore brain, the frustration with yourself and the stress you add onto your mental health ontop of everything else in your life.

recharge, reevaluate, reconnect

have fun

[monbons]

Stitch Sunday

Thanks for the tags @hushed-chorus, @aristocratic-otter, and @whatevertheweather. Your snips were a delight!

On my end, I have FINALLY finished Shep (sort of...). Behold.

He is still barefoot because after logging too many hours on this jean jacket I was ready to move on. He will eventually have high-top style lace up shoes, but that is a project for another day.

I’ve started the next set of dolls, but they shall stay a bit of a mystery because 1) they are a new ship and I am not yet fully confident in how to achieve the look I want, and 2) they are the most collaborative set I’ve ever tackled, so I am saving updates for the fic author for now. All I can give you is this materials mood board for one of the characters, which I created while trying to decide on the right skin tone.

Since all I could provide was a peek into the process for the next doll, I figured today could be a behind-the-scenes post! What exactly goes into making a doll? So glad you asked...

First, I scour the internet for inspiration poses. When I was making Baz's beard - character, here were the poses I sent @emeryhall to choose from.

Once I've picked a pose, I turn it into body parts to create a paper pattern. I check to make sure it looks good before tracing it onto fabric and checking it again. Then, I stuff and you guessed it, I check yet again. This process is important because once things are sewn and stuffed, the scale could be off or pieces don't match up as you'd like, and you have to start again.

My favorite (and most amusing) example of starting again was Bunbaz's Simon. I'd checked and rechecked the pose successfully and then when I went to add the head---disaster! Most of my poses up until that point had been fairly flat and the dolls were meant to be looked at ONLY straight-on. Simon was fully 3D... but his first head was a flat head like all of my previous dolls. So, the profile view was horrifying.

Needless to say, I had to go back and figure out how to make a 3D head. I did internet research, tried several methods I found online---all of which resulted in unsightly seams through his face---so I settled on simple: just add a strip of fabric between the two circles and call it a day. Now I make all of my heads this way!

(As an aside, 3D Simon required almost four times as many individually, hand-sewn curls as flat Simon. That is how much I love @bookish-bogwitch)

Once the body of the dolls is complete, I go back and create the details, including clothing and accessories. Despite all the dolls being similarly sized, their positions often make it impossible to mass produce clothing (unless they are standing like a traditional Barbie). So each outfit is individually tailored to the doll. Here I am cutting up one of my own socks to give Penny knee highs.

Hope you enjoyed this behind-the-scenes. Maybe next week I will have some kind of update for you on the new set. Until then...

Hellos and high-fives! @raenestee, @thewholelemon, @cutestkilla (happy birthday!), @roomwithanopenfire, @artsyunderstudy

@shrekgogurt (happy birthday!), @rimeswithpurple, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold, @talentpiper11

@brilla-brilla-estrellita, @beastmonstertitan, @best--dress, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @larkral

@drowninginships, @valeffelees, @mooncello, @theearlgreymage, @iamamythologicalcreature

@blackberrysummerblog, @run-for-chamo-miles, @facewithoutheart, @ic3-que3n, @rbkzz

@supercutedinosaurs, @messofthejess, @skeedelvee, @arthurkko, @fiend-for-culture

@orange-peony, @martsonmars, @katatsumuli, @comesitintheclover, @fatalfangirl

@onepintobean, @palimpsessed, @moodandmist, @ileadacharmedlife, @theimpossibledemon

[siconetribal]

Put it on My Tab (19)

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Warning: Frustration, Online Gaming, and Revelations

A/N:

Please comment/like/reblog. If you’d like to be tagged moving forward, please let me know! I’d also greatly appreciate it if rebloggers remember to add the tags (or some at least).

As always, a huge thank you and shout out to @harlequin-hangout for the amazing banners you made for me.

If you’re new to the story, please check out the master post for the rest of the chapters.

All occupants of Wayne manor knew Jason was in a sour mood. To what extent or why was not clear, but it was obvious in his lack of snippy banter and increased silence, and when he did respond, it was sharper than usual. It was as if he was regressing back to the days when he was still finding his footing amongst them. He and Bruce never had an outwardly discussion clarifying everything, but there was something that was done to help build a new foundation, regardless oh how shaky that was.

They tried to approach the second Robin in a variety of ways, trying to unearth the reason for the sudden slip into anger. Some thought Bruce and him had an argument, while others thought there may be trouble in the Outlaws. Neither was able to confirm their suspicions, and any attempt to do so was met with aggression and deflection.

Annoyed by all their brown nosing, Jason left the manor and spent the next couple of nights at his own apartment. Of course, I’d have no privacy in a house full of detective vigilantes. He rolled his eyes as he rolled out of bed and made his way over to his computer. Plopping onto the chair, he let it wheel backwards before pulling himself forward by the desk. He stared at the game icon on his desktop for what felt like the umpteenth time today. His fingers drummed just below his keyboard as he eyed his mouse, which rested only a couple inches away. I can’t just log on and act like I haven’t been gone in forever. She’s probably pissed that her online buddy has been MIA for so long. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back, the chair reclining with his weight. This is my only way to even speak to her, though. I cleared up the bill crap, maybe I can meet her again through here? Fake that I didn’t know who she was? Not like she’d ever know that I knew anyway. Pursing his lips to one side, he intensely stared at his ceiling, as if it held some sort of secret that would aid him in his decision to long on or not. 

“Fuck it, I’m logging on!” The seat swung forward with him as he sat up and logged onto the game.

Arkam_Knight has logged in. The italicized text popped up on the screen, much to Y/N’s surprise. Her character was currently standing in the town square looking at the request board for something that was easy enough for a solo hunt. Seeing the name of her dearly miss comrade was an answer to her desperate pleas for some miracle because there was no mission that allowed solo entry. She eagerly opened the chat box and began to type.

<Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes! Where have you been?! I would’ve called the police for a wellness check, but I don’t have a clue on where you live.>  She watched the ellipses bounce then vanish repeatedly for a couple of minutes. The longer he took to reply, the more concerned she was becoming. An unknown weight slowly creeped onto her shoulders. Anxious thoughts spun around in her mind. The distant ding of his response was able to rip her from the thoughts.

<Yeeeaaah, my bad. Work was crazy and shit had me all over the fucking place trying to clean up. I can’t go into detail, a lot of confidential crap.>

<Yeah, I figured. So, I know you can’t tell me what you do for a living, but I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re working as a high level officer of some kind. I won’t ask you what branch, but sounds like you do work city wide, which I have no clue how you handle that.>

<Someone’s gotta do the dirty work, right? It ain’t for everyone. It just so happens that I’ve got a knack for it.> He added a little proud sticker. <You’ve been MIA yourself, I’ve logged in a few times and saw you hadn’t been on in a while.>

<Where do I even begin? Life has been kicking both of us in the asses, it seems.> She sent an exhausted sticker. She paused for a few minutes, staring at her blinking cursor. How was she going to explain it all to him? Would it even be believable? She, herself, also found it hard to swallow was true. From dealing with Waynes to meeting two of Batman’s partners to being part of a claim investigation because of the collateral damage to the building.

I thought dealing with snobby rich kids and wild Karens was as crazy as my life was going to be. Who knew I’d be entangled with crime fighters and a Trust Fund kid. She slumped in her seat, slowly tapping at the space bar to let him know she was still there. Erasing the long gap of emptiness, she sat up once more.

<Give me a sec, gotta organize my thoughts on this.>

<Damn, that much? Take your time, I’m here.>

<Thanks.> She smiled at the animated thumbs up sticker was sent. At least I still hot my friends.

Jason sank back into his computer chair, rocking back and forth and swinging side to side as he awaited for her response. Watching the symbol of her typing appear and disappear multiple times was far more torturous than he anticipated. He knew what she was going to tell him, he was there with her. She did not know that, and he did not know how she took any of it. The only thing he could rely on were the facts, but that did nothing for his nerves.

If someone told him that he would wake up one morning in a hotel room next to a stranger, who knew how to get under his skin and take over his thoughts, he would have laughed at them. If they told him she was his online gaming buddy as well, he would have scoffed the added detail and never spoken to the person for being out of their mind. And yet, here he was, months later, talking to that very strange woman, battling between keeping in touch and cutting all ties. 

If things could just go back to when we didn’t know each other, it could just be simpler. I can’t even game with her without feeling some sort of way. He rubbed his chest as that uncomfortable weight sank onto his heart. I should’ve just paid the bill and let it be. Why did it matter if she knew me or not? I knew she got screwed over because of me, I should’ve just ended it as soon as I found her. His irrational actions bothered him. He was a cold and calculating vigilante that played by his own rules. He even ran the crime world for a time when he was completely at odds with Batman and was blinded by his heightened rage. He survived death and a beating from the Joker. Handling a hotel bill for a girl should not be this difficult, and yet here he was stuck in quicksand. He glanced at his computer monitor and his eye twitched at the site of the dots vanishing again. “What is she doing, right a novel?!” He threw his hands up and heaved a heavy sigh.

He swung his chair straight at the ding and leaned in close to the monitor, skimming the paragraph before forcing himself to read from the start.

<Ok, Dickens, you didn’t tell me you were publishing a novel! Lol, give me a sec to read all this.>

 It started off as he expected, she mentioned their first few meetings and how she fumbled with trying to hide herself. He could not help the snicker that came at her admission of being angry at him, but a grin quickly took over when she confessed that she found him good-looking. 

“Damn right, you did! I’m fucking handsome!” He boasted, puffing his chest with pride before diving back into the text. I came that night and those pricks were there, ok, Nightwing and Red Robin came crashing through the window, fine, so then-wait, what the fuck! His gaze snapped back to the two mentioned vigilantes and the incident he was not aware of at all. “When the fuck did this happen? Did Dickhead do this on purpose?! I’m going to enjoy getting answers out of him later.” He cracked his knuckles as a wicked smirk took over. He carefully read through the incident and soon realized that this was in fact a coincidence, but his ‘darling’ older brother failed to mention it to him. At least they left her a tip.

Pushing forward, he read about the following insurance claim filing that was on going to prove that this was not something staged. Then there were her concerns about a particular caffeine addicted young teen who was another Wayne with another name. His mind instantly flashed to the memory of Tim’s coffee cup.

Don’t tell me he’s in on it too! Nosy assholes, Jason was ready to flip his computer table but kept his composure. No, he can’t be. He hasn’t been asking me shit or tailing me in any way. That means this is just his need for coffee, and she makes damn good coffee. He reasoned himself back into a state of calm to read onwards. The name of the detective in charge of the claim has him seeing red. He paced the length of his bedroom to avoid breaking his only means of communication with her. “Oh, I’m going to kill him. I’m going to kill him the next time I see him! That was on purpose, he chose to take the lead on this because I told him her name. Dickhead is in for a world of pain.” His voice rumbled in anger as he expended the rage through physical activity. 

He sat back in his seat when he felt he was calm enough to, and continued to read the rest of what she had to say. She finally got to their last evening together. He made her brownies and she was really touched by it.

<I was purely joking about the brownies, but he actually went through with it! I don’t think I’ve ever dated a guy who made me brownies, and he’s a stranger! It’s insufferable just how perfect he is for dropping such a huge bill on my head!> She punctuated with angry stickers. <I didn’t want to eat them, though. I wanted to keep them forever, like a memento since-well, I’m getting a head of myself.> She dove into the details of their diner date. He remembered that night, they talked for hours, but it felt like hardly any time had even gone by. <I hated asking him to pay, but I had to. It was getting to be too much for me and my roomie. He was great about it, a real gentleman. I said to just help with what was left, but he paid me the whole thing! I really had him wrong in my head. We ended up staying out late, talking. I don’t think I’ve ever had such an easy conversation with a guy before. When the diner had to close, he took me home and even waisted until I got through the front door. But now I don’t have any reason to talk to him, and he hasn’t made any effort to reach out to me either. Which loops back to the brownies. I wanted to keep them as a memento because it looks like that chapter is closed. But all of his efforts would’ve gone to waste. They were really good, which sucks. Now he’s even more of a jerk wad because it’s not fair! My roomie has plans to celebrate my freedom, but I’m not so sure. I want to, but it involves the tip from Nightwing and Red Robin. Would that be considered evidence or something I should hand over to the detective at my formal interview?>

The infamous Red Hood sat there, speechless, with his head swimming from his and her emotions. She clearly wanted to keep up their friendship, and he did too, but it was not safe. She was already linked to two of them, which was bad enough. He knew he was the worst of them to ever be associated with, and that made this more irritating for him. He muttered profanities as he slammed his fist on the desk. If only he could untangle himself from all this, everything would be fine.

<Shit, you really were busy. Glad to hear he paid his dues like a man. But if he’s so hot, why not just ask him out yourself?> He suggested. He needed to act like any other citizen. He needed to distance himself from himself in her mind. <Did you really serve Nightwing and Red Robin while they were on a mission? I definitely wouldn’t have thought about giving them coffee in the middle of all that. Though, he sounds like a weirdo saying your name so many times. I doubt he was threatening you, maybe he’s got some weirdo fetish? I’d say keep away from him. As great as he is, a masked guy flipping through the Gotham night in spandex must have some sorta thing.> He insisted. That’s what you get, Dick-wing. He smirked. <The tip is yours to keep, you served them, and they gave you a tip. Unless it had some secret message or some sort of flash drive, cash isn’t going to be a dig deal. Plus, they didn’t ask you about the tip though they saw it on camera, you’re good. It’s yours, use it.>

<Yeah, she said the same thing. Said it was a gift from the heavens and I shouldn’t be so paranoid. Also, no way in hell am I asking him out! He’ll think I’m some gold digging hussy! The guy paid for dinner and the hotel bill, I think I’m the last person he wants to see again!>

<Listen to me, I’m a guy, trust me. If he thought you were a gold digger, he would’ve ended shit right away or left you at the diner. The guy made you brownies! I think you can give him some slack and think that maybe, just maybe, he likes your company too?>

<If he liked it so much, why hasn’t he texted me?>

<Because he’s a bigger dumbass and overthinks like you? Thinks you hate him or that you don’t want anything to do with him because he landed you in shit?> He countered. <You don’t have to do anything, I’m just saying thinking about it. Whatever you choose, just don’t abandon me again! Solo raiding was horrible!> He added a few tearful stickers to gain sympathy.

<You think? Alright, alright, I get it! Sheesh, I just told you, I didn’t vanish on purpose! I promise, I’ll keep in touch as best I can! I don’t have to OT anymore, so that’s promising. Thanks for listening. Now, let’s go kick some monster tail!>

<LOL, anytime! I thought you’d never ask!>

Tags:

@vbecker10 @wordsfromshona @harlequin-hangout @harpy-space @tild3ath @gone-batty-fics @princessbl0ss0m @dakotall @antiquecultist

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling someone I wasn't their bully 100% of the time

Hey so I was a shitty kid and i willbe TA for most of the story. However the ambiguous non-ending spins around my head nonstop

! In high-school I met a friend, Lacy (mtf) who had recently come out. We bonded over mutual Fandoms and shared classes and ended up pooling friends. I was already tight friends with one other girl we can call Sam. Sam went to another school but me and her had been best friends for many years and talked constantly online. After spending a lot of time with Lacy, and with L and S in a group, I started to get a little crush. Me and Lacy had this habit of passing comic notes to eachother between classes and they were just so fun. Anyways I ended up passing them one asking them out and she agreed. We talked about it casually after and I kept the note. In the background, me and Sam talk constantly about Lacy. Outside of school, online, Lacy often goes on long rants and tangents and caps it off being painfully self depreciating and insinuating self harm. I honestly don't hold that against her too much, given how young we were and how much stuff was going on. Very quickly I realize this tiny crush evaporates in the heat of her stomping rants. My gut sinks when Lacy mentions we are dating. It's been less than a day. Sam messages me immediately and I make the terrible snap decision to lie. I lie about it and I have the evidence so my version becomes correct. I tell Sam I didn't *really* ask Lacy out, blah blah. The lie doesn't end. Lacy has an explosive breakdown about it, well warranted, and I lie to adults and school administrators as well. We were friends, I guess she got too attached, we talk all the time but no. I never asked her to date. Papers signed, case closed. Lacy blocks me everywhere. The year ends. I resign to never speaking to her, as the unquestioned bully in this situation I wouldn't have the right to approach her about it. I think I send one anon ask completely unrelated to her or our lives, then block her back as is only fair.

Short hop forwards a month or two. Sam sends me a message about an update to Lacys blog. Lacy is otherkin and Sam is laughing at the kin list, sending anon messages mocking Lacy about the choices and identity. Very unfamiliar with otherkin but struggling with gender thoughts myself I don't respond much.

Fast forward a few years. Me and Sam don't talk much now. I got a boyfriend and couldn't help love how much he ignored me. Everything else fell through cracks. Working at my restaurant job one day, who else comes in but Lacy. We are very busy, I try to be quick, don't make eye contact. "Party of....for Lacy?" She nods. The lobby is full so they walk out the door and never come back. Later when my shift is over I unblock and check her blog. She's made a post saying I was her abuser and had sent her constant anon hate since bullying her in hs. Checking her ask tag I see Sam on anon sends 3-6 hate messages a year. I do nothing and leave everyone be and move on.

Another 3 years goes by. Sam reaches out. She's terminally ill, and we speak stiffly for a few IMs. I don't forgive myself for leaving her and decide it's best we don't keep talking. Another few years and Sam passes. Our old friends go through Sam's papers and pc files reminiscing and find pages and pages of shared chat logs between me L and S. It really was a harsh reminder of how cruel I had been, speaking behind Lacys back and lying. I don't doubt I caused her lasting trauma with my actions.

Part of me wanted to reach out to Lacy and apologize, explaining myself and the misunderstanding and clearing the lie not because I wanted to feel absolved I just that it's finally done now. But it feels so cruel to do it when 1. As the original bully it's still not my place to seek closure 2. I can't just toss my friends corpse under this bus for no reason.

It's soon a decade since we all left school so the time seems well past. I just can't stop thinking about all the mistakes. And there seems no reason to bring it all up after all Sam can't say anything about it anymore and nobody is hurt believing i said these things. So, AITA for not telling Lacy it wasn't me bullying her most of the time?

What are these acronyms?

[giftcember]

A Giftcember to Remember!

Welcome to the first ever Giftcember!

Rules:

BE NICE.

Be nice.

Be NICE!

Have fun

You can participate as much or as little as you want. I will try to reblog some posts that are tagged with giftcember day [x] each day!

My main blog is primarily TLOU-oriented, but there are some other fandoms I love as well. This is open to anyone and everyone who wants to participate, regardless of fandom!

For those who want to work ahead on the writing prompts, please see below the cut.

Put together a fic advent calendar and read one per day (or, if its multi-chapter, a chapter per day) for the month

Play a fandom-specific board game, online or in person!.  (TLOU fan?  Boggle!)

Writing Prompt – Write a fic for one of your favorite authors and gift it to them without telling them ahead of time (theme/topic of your choice!!)

Share a fic on Tumblr that you think deserves more love

Leave a comment on a fic you enjoyed but never commented on

Writing Prompt – St. Nicholas / Krampus: Legends | Shoes | Chocolate

Write that essay filled with unhinged praise of a fic author and share it without shame

Share your favorite headcanon(s)

Spend some time learning about a holiday you’ve never celebrated.  Feel free to share what you learn!

Writing Prompt – Yule: yule Log/Fireplace | Singing | Full moon

Read a fic by the light of a cozy fire.  (Don’t have a fireplace?  Find a fireplace video!)

Make a post that recommends at least five (5) fics you love.

Writing Prompt – Hanukkah: Oil | Candles | Light

Participate in the Giftcember ask game!

Eat a treat and have a hot beverage of your choice while reading fic

Leave a comment on a fic that’s at least 6 months old

Writing Prompt – Write a continuation of your favorite fic - finished or unfinished!

Share that unhinged PowerPoint you made in your head about a fic or AU.

Watch your favorite holiday movie.  Share your thoughts as you watch (one post or liveblog: it doesn’t matter!)

Writing Prompt – Solstice: Short Days | Hope | Sunrise

Share your favorite holiday recipe

Gift a fic you write to a mutual or share a recommendation to a mutual for a fic you love. 

Reach out to that Tumblr user you’ve been thinking about sending a message to (only if they’re open to DMs!)

Writing Prompt – Christmas: Angels | Trees | Cookies

Give yourself a lil’ treat.

Reblog three fics or other creative works (original or fan art, etc.)

Writing Prompt – Kwanzaa: Unity | Gifts | Seven

Have some fandom-specific food.  (TLOU fan?  Chef Boyardee all the way!)

Tell us: how does your favorite character/OTP celebrate the holiday season?

Be kind to a stranger online or in person.

Writing Prompt – New Year’s: Old Acquaintances| Bubbles | Rebirth

BONUS:

Send a kind anonymous ask to a Tumblr user

Leave kudos on a fic!

Shameless self promotion

Writing Prompts

December 3

Write a fic for one of your favorite authors and gift it to them without telling them ahead of time (theme/topic of your choice!!)

December 6

St. Nicholas / Krampus: Legends | Shoes | Chocolate

December 10

Yule: yule Log/Fireplace | Singing | Full moon

December 13

Hanukkah: Oil | Candles | Light

December 17

Write a continuation of your favorite fic - finished or unfinished!

December 20

Solstice: Short Days | Hope | Sunrise

December 24

Christmas: Angels | Trees | Cookies

December 27

Kwanzaa: Unity | Gifts | Seven

December 31

New Year’s: Old Acquaintances| Bubbles | Rebirth

Have fun, and I will see you in Giftcember!

M

[briarlovesclara]

Regarding Wilbur Soot

As one can imagine, the past few days have been a whirlwind for myself and many in the mcyt/dsmp community. In light of Wilbur's recent confession, I wanted to get my stance crystal clear and out in the open. (cws for abuse mentions)

I support Shubble in speaking out, especially in her being incredibly brave.

I do not support the actions of Wilbur Soot.

Domestic abuse or violence is never justified.

Going forward:

I have unfollowed/will be unfollowing Wilbur on all social medias (apologies if I forget any or take time clearing them all out)

I will no longer be posting anything positive about Wilbur on this blog

I WILL be interacting with fan content about the Dream SMP, including content of his character. This will be tagged with #cw c!wilbur . If I forget, please feel free to remind me, and feel free to block the tag. This is because I believe in those stories and characters, especially Ghostbur. I support people who are distancing themselves from these characters. I support if you do not feel comfortable interacting with me because of this.

I am currently working on changing my theme away from 'AYA?' (2/27/24)

I will be waiting for responses from CCs such as Philza, Quackity, Tommy etc. before casting judgement. I understand this might take time. I openly support those who have already spoken out against his actions.

Please allow me a small amount of grace as I navigate how I will approach Lvjy content from now on. UPDATE: as of now I have removed them from my circle of music.

As always, any negative opinions about cc!s do not extend to system alters. Whether you are a factive, fictive, attatched to a source, or any other connection-- you are welcome here.

I do not regret being a part of these communities. They have brought me such joy and friendship that I couldn't bear to. The only regret I have is any monetary support I may have given Wilbur in the past.

I also recently reblogged posts before there was confirmation of Wilbur's identity asking people to focus on Shubble rather than tracking the abuser down. I was very careful in my reposts and I stand by being cautious, especially as I had not watched the VOD (it was taken down at the time and I didn't want to invade Shubble's wishes-- I took lead from the Shubble Updates Twitter account).

Thank you. The community will get through this together. 💕

EDIT LOG:

1. Changed PFP

P. S. I never condone doxxing, harassment, or death threats online for any reason.

2. Added lvjy clause

3. Lvjy update

[biolizardboils]

Hey again.

I was saving this for when I'd wrapped some other stuff up, but it's taking too long. I'm just gonna say it while the words are fresh in my head.

The two-month break I've been on? I think I'm gonna stay on it. As in, stay logged off except on special occasions.

There's still things I want to finish here. I will answer what's left at @ask-the-all-consuming-void and bring it to a proper ending; The Secret Thing it was gonna segue into will go up, even if only as sketches and drafts; And there's another project I'm still helping with behind the scenes. But aside from those… I want to maintain my internet presence a lot less.

I've learned a lot about myself since I left: most importantly the hyper-empathy, compassion fatigue thing, and that being terminally online probably does more harm than help. There's trying to be a good, vigilant person, and then there's overwhelming oneself about things they can't control, with info that isn't always accurate. I've been doing the latter in different ways for years; late April/early May was a big wake-up call. Lesson learned: I've got to find balance, and I won't find it here.

The second-most important thing I learned is that… the reason I "joined" the internet in the first place? It's pretty much been fulfilled. Has been for a few years now, actually.

I made this tumblr in 2015, but I got my real start on deviantART and WordPress in 2011. Don't expect links; what people post in their preteens can stay between them and God lol. But I'll tell you what got me to make accounts: my confusion as a new Sonic fan. The way people talked about them, the way they talked to each other… it hurt to see.

I got it in my preteen head to set a better example. To not let my love for something become disdain for others of its kind. To explain instead of assume. And to assure anyone who'd listen that it's not shameful to like Sonic, that those who do deserve better, and that they could still have it better someday.

And now, 13 years later… we do. The hurtful stuff I saw back then is nearly gone now. When it does pop up, it's easier to counteract than ever. People realize how silly and petty and wrong it was, and can call it out accordingly. People can live a little truer to themselves, now that that shit isn't everywhere anymore.

I think that, specifically, is all I really wanted. Everything else—the reinvigoration of the characters and their world, the downpour in avenues once closed off by "cringe" and "not enough interest"—have been wonderful byproducts. I've been gassing up Sonic Movie 3 as the final step, but it's really more of a victory lap.

After realizing that, I just… don't feel the need to post so much here anymore. My self-worth and sense of morality shouldn't rely on what I do or don't type. I don't need to document every thought or choice I make and why.

The cause I've performed for since middle school no longer needs my time and energy, if it ever even did. I can just enjoy things in relative silence, and spend myself in other ways. Ways I've taken too long to get around.

Sonic Unleashed is what set me down this path. I watched it go from rejected at launch, to just divisive, to respected and beloved. I still wonder if, had it gotten a fairer chance, the current Sonic renaissance could've happened sooner.

But dwelling on that won't change anything. I'd rather dwell on how, this year, I got to scream Endless Possibility with hundreds of other people, loudly and proudly. No fear of who's watching, no need to self-sabotage. It meant the world to me.

There was a con in my area on June 23rd. I wasn't planning on doing anything that day until I heard about it. There was someone in attendance who helped me put a symbolic bow on this part of my life.

I think he did a wonderful job :)

I have one last thing to say before I go. That'll be its own post, so I can put it in the public Sonic tags.

Again, the stuff I've left hanging here will get finished eventually. But for now, this is goodbye.

Moots, followers: thank you so much. I will quite literally remember you all in therapy.

--BiolizardBoils

[the-fandom-crossroads]

Hoyofair Spring 2024 Creator Links!

Like last Hoyofair I'm making a post linking to the youtube channels of each project shared at hoyofair! Be sure to follow the creators and support their main channels so they can keep making amazing projects like these!

Galactic Abyss Chronicles - 神·潜行瞬杀 and others

I actually found the director, head animator, and head modeler on Bilibili! Here Real proud of myself because he has no accounts on the western internet. He hasn't posted the full short on his account yet but he does have a fananimation for the Apex Legends X FFVII Rebirth collab.

From what I can tell this is also the first Genshin related animation he's done which is cool. The rest of the creators seem to be from the CN fandom as well although I could not find their Bilibili's from a quick search

Ranked DayCare - by No_Tables

Their first Hoyo short was at Hoyofair 2023. So it's great to see them back with a new bit. Now with Klee!

Moonlit Bamboo Forest - Passion Paris

So this is apparently an Academy Award winning Animation studio!? Passion Pictures is the studios name and the Paris branch animated this short. We have legit 2D animation studios submitting Shorts to Hoyofair now. Wow!

Needless to say this was the short with the most unique animation style. And one of my top favorites this year.

Trial by Combat - ???

So this one seems to be just a collab of a bunch of animators. Like I can't find the project manager online (too generic a name for google). The head animator has a twitter but Twitter changed at somepoint where it won't let me view a direct link to someones profile without being logged in. I ain't creating a twitter for this rabbit hole. his username is rabbitoldman if you want to look him up. But he hasn't made any tweets with the word genshin as far as google's concerned.

I just can't find one sorry.

Progenitor: The Surface - dillongoo

Ex- RWBY animator returns with episode 3 of his "if genshin was a cyberpunk anime" series. The first two episodes hit so hard and the 3rd episode does not disappoint!

Realm of Faith: Live Actually - Type Zero Inc

Another legit animation studio for the animation. They don't have a youtube so i don't know if they'll ever upload the full version anywhere other than hoyofair.

But! The two songs have been posted on the singers youtubes with longer versions!

majiko(Furina), 4s4ki(Lumine), Wolpis Carter(Venti)

Chogakusei (Wriothesley), Amatsuki (Childe), 96Neko (Arlecchino)

Domain 404 - LucHD

Their first and only other Hoyofair short was shown over a year ago at hoyofair 2022. But Luc has returned with a full 4 minute short filled with Spiral Abyss and other meta in jokes. Diluc out here maining a C6 Bennett lol.

TitanSlayers: Edge of Oblivion - Kieru

Kieru once again turns in an amazing action packed animation. The last one was the Persona spoof with Lyney and Lynette. But my favorite of theirs is Cyno vs Anubis and the Gods

Shenhe Awaken - Rhinocore

They made a previous short for Hoyofair but that one was never posted to a youtube channel other than hoyofair. So I'm going to assume they don't have a youtube and this one is just going to say on Hoyofair as well.

---

And that's all the Creators from this Hoyofair! It was less creators than the winter one but I feel like that might be because multiple shorts are nearly 10 minutes.

But which one was your favorite? Do you like the change to less but longer shorts? Or do you wish they went back to more shorts 2-5 minutes long? Let me know in the tags! And be sure to follow all these guys on their youtube's so you can see the teaser trailers they post a few days before each Hoyofair.

[taechnological]

[5th blog anniversary]

hello, it's nov 28th today so i welcome you to celebrate the fifth anniversary of this silly blog with me~

it has been around 5+ years of me in this fandom and almost 4 years since i've been active on this blog and taechnological has truly proved to be the most fun part of my bangtan army journey~ ♡

i have made countless happy memories and very many precious friendships on this blog, so many nice and sweet anons and all the cute and funny tags under my posts, i really enjoy logging in here after a tiring day 🥺

jungkook was right when he said the closer you are, the lesser words 😭💖 i feel like i've really built a safe place for me (and hopefully for others too) where we all come and forget all the worries of our real life (even just for a tiny little timeframe), only ugly laughter and crackhead energy in sight 😆💜

also, before i forget, this blog also hit a (kinda) huge follower milestone a couple months ago, so i just wanna say thank you for choosing to hit follow despite looking directly at my deranged activities and still keeping up with me lol i appreciate each and every single one of you a lot, you make my experience here so much better~ ♡

okay not to go overboard with the sappiness (you just have to bear with me, this is the singular sappy post i make once a year 😤💖) just wanna say thank you for keeping this blog alive with your interactions despite the slight decrease in my online time lately. i appreciate you all so much! ♡

i hope you all will continue sticking by side in the coming years too (no pressure tho, i know i can be intolerable at times 💀) let's keep making our experience here a happy memory for us to reflect upon in the future~ ♡

but for now, you all are stuck with me and i will make sure you keep smiling the whole time you're on my blog hehe 😗💖

again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, mwah~

[dirtydragonthoughts]

Transformers Yuletide Literary Fest - Day 2

Welcome to the Transformers Yuletide Literary Fest! I'll be recommending one or two fics every day until Christmas. Feel free to join in if you'd like (I'm using the tag #tylf2023 for this.) All fics are complete!

(If I can easily find a Tumblr account for the author I'll tag them. If you know of an author who has a Tumblr account and I didn't tag them, please let me know so I can add it! )

Fics in my recommendations will come in two different flavours: tangy and spicy. 😄 As always, curate your own online reading experience, and mind the tags if necessary for your own safety. ♥

Tangy

Title: You Hold the Weight of Every Moment

Author: @decepticonsensual

Rating: Teen

Wordcount: 2798

Summary: After the destruction of Cybertron and the end - perhaps - of the great war, Jazz takes refuge on a hill under the stars outside Washington, DC. There, he meets up with an old friend, and discusses some hard truths about what brought them to this point. Jazz has played a lot of games in his time with Autobot Special Ops, but honesty is a new one... and maybe the most dangerous. (Post-Optimus Prime #25, with major spoilers up through that point.)

Why I love it: IDW1 left a lot of plot threads on the floor. And... Some of the deaths in the run-up to the end really hurt. So having this fic to fix some of the wrongs was just lovely. It's a nice and quiet denouement for Jazz and Mirage, letting them both unload some of the crap that happened to them.

Spicy

Title: My trust in your hands

Author: @blushlouise

Rating: Mature

Wordcount: 27,868

Summary: “I think you and I could be good for each other. If you’re willing to give us a chance.” Bluestreak leans closer despite himself. “What’s on your mind?” Skywarp just looks at him for a moment. Then he reaches out, touching the back of Bluestreak’s hand. “We’re both strong, just differently. We can lean on each other.” “I don’t know how.” The words are almost dragged from him. “I don’t know how to trust you.” “There’s… something we can try.” Skywarp sounds nervous again, and he’s looking down at where his finger’s drawing circles on the back of Bluestreak’s hand. “A way of being together. That’ll give you the control you need to learn to trust me. If I find someone to show us, will you try? Please?”)

Note: Available to logged-in registered users only.

Why I love it: I don't think it's a secret that I love Bluestreak, so I am so happy seeing a fic that a) pairs him with Skywarp, which is SUPER interesting, and b) allows him to face his traumas with a lot of maturity and strength. Throw in the excellent character growth for both Bluestreak and Skywarp, and a LOVELY look at exactly how BDSM-themed plug-and-play might work, and you've got a fic that I recommend unreservedly.

[canichangemyblogname]

So, I've not watched 911, nor do I know anything about it beyond what I've been reading on your blog in recent months.

Needless to say, the recent "discourse" has me beyond horrified, not only as a parent of two young kids (and a decent fucking person), but as a survivor of CSA. I am beyond words at the mental gymnastics you, and others, have encountered by the people defending that fic. Like, you deal with that shit daily in this hellscape, but this is a whole new level.

If pushing back against CSA being broadcast on Ao3 as entertainment makes you an "anti", then okay, cool. Label me an "anti" too then. It's well worth it.

"Anti"-white supremacy 👍

"Anti"-TERF 👍

"Anti"-CSA 👍

"Anti"-government usurping control of a person's body 👍

Any and all levity aside, the sheer (and frankly deliberate, at this point) lack of reading comprehension and overall intelligence at the pushback you've received over this is mind boggling.

Hit dogs holler, indeed. At least you've been able to fortify your block list.

You're doing good work, Evan. As exhausting as it is, keep it up, my friend.

Steph 🫶

I hope you know that you are a wonderful human being who deserves nothing but peace and kindness.

I’m putting the rest of this under a cut for mention if CSAM and mentions of triggering bigotry:

The 911 fandom is a mess-mess. From “joking” that people should be allowed to publicly execute men for flirting with men in a way that gives them the “ick.” To arguing that queer men are liars and cheats who spread disease. To joking about queer men dying of AIDS. To routinely using either the mammy trope or “sassy black” trope to characterize the Black Women of the show. To routinely hypersexualizing—like—the token Latiné character or relying on the “sassy Latin” trope in their characterization of him, too. To defending ableism. To now defending CSAM and a literal pedophile who has written several fics featuring CSE (that are often mis-tagged, mis-described, mis-rated, and re-uploaded under new names to get people to accidentally read them).

And if someone’s response to “Hey, we should do something about this” is to go “Nooo! But my blorbo fan fantasies,” they need to log-off and go touch grass; spend several days talking to people in-person instead of through a screen. It’s about the most chronically online BS reaction someone could have.

As you said— this shit shouldn’t be broadcast for entertainment. And that’s what’s getting lost to people. These fics are very truly explicit material featuring sexual fantasies about children, and they’re being posted for arousing entertainment. The person may have claimed they were doing this to punish fans for supporting a (new) canon queer relationship, but given how they’ve expanded their tags to catch wider audiences, that is clearly not the case. They want you to read it and enjoy it.

Like… I understand that there are a lot of powerful men in important positions who uses moral affronts to CSAM to actually censor queer people or information on bodily autonomy. But assuming that anyone who claims to care about child sexual exploitation is actually lying and has nefarious motives is… dangerous. And fallacious. It is so-so important to actually analyze what an individual is saying and how. There’s a difference between “there should be a report function specifically for CSEM” and “we should shut this site down because the people who use it are porn-obsessed degenerates.” There’s a difference between “I don’t think this site should have an anonymous feature because it allows users to easily subvert a block, and protecting a block should be the responsibility of the site, not the individual user” and “this site is full of dangerous kinks that could give kids ideas, so all of it must go!”

But if you can just lump anyone who disagrees with you into one group and label them “bad and oppressing me,” then you don’t need to critically analyze your own gut/emotional reaction to what they said. And what they said might have actually been a fairly reasonable—and incredibly moderate—step forward.

All I suggested was more robust blocking and reporting mechanisms on a BETA site.

It’s telling that they only bring out the chronically online names and discourse terms when it’s about CSAM. Many (but definitely not all) of the very people going to bat for never, ever changing Ao3 because it’s “perfect” were also the same people who unironically argued that two adult fictional men over the age of 30 joking about a 10 yr or less age gap between them are “predatory” and “making light of incestuous abuse.” Although, IDK what else I could expect from people who “joked” that they hoped certain fans would kill themselves over fictional characters.

Something about the whole thing screams “I only protect power and its narratives.”

[chaifootsteps]

I've been trying to catch your ask box open cause I wanted to share something with you. You were getting asks about criticals being a so called minority in the fandom and how Viv likes fanart that's bullying or interacts with criticals. It reminded me of something.

When I was in high-school this girl who was a total snob (the "I'm not like other girls, I like jeans and black lipstick") and a lot of people didn't like her cause she'd actively would look for fights to throw gasoline on them. One day, a hate facebook account came up. It was someone who had one of her pictures (that wasn't online anywhere, hang on to that part) doodled with a mustache and other crap. They updated Facebook statuses with her name, added everyone she had added on her friends list and tagged everyone in stuff they made. It was too much. People defended her, but the facebook page didn't block anyone or anything and continued. Then one day someone went to the police cause their dad worked with the police. They made a facebook status and tagged the hate account and her. Then magically the account unfriended everyone and stopped posting after deleting everything and stayed up. That girl never spoke about that hate blog again, I found it so weird. Then years later I befriended someone who dated the person that went to the police about the hate account. I asked what happened with that and boy, I wanted to scream. So the police were going to press charges and investigate further, but the girl said no it was ok then the account deleted everything. They still investigated and found out the account came from the same internet and same devices she'd log into. So, she was the one who created the account to hate herself basically. My friend theorized it was to get empathy, but after that discovery her boyfriend said he didn't even want to be her friend anymore and resisted sharing the information. Then down the road like 6 years after all this, I worked with someone who was close friends with that girl at the time. Yeah, she said she always knew and that she made her make the edited pictures and other crap. She said she felt bad deep down inside, but didn't know how to tell her no. Then the police thing happened and she refused to help her anymore. They stopped being friends a while after that since that drove a wedge between them.

It made me think of the anons saying criticals ain't shit since yes they are. Viv actively goes out of her way to say shit and even when she's on her glorious trip she still interacts with them. I'm not sure if it's the empathy she wants or attention, but just I noticed they were sort of similar cause of how Viv acted and how that girl acted too. Idk why, but sometimes I just wonder if Viv has her own hate blog cause of her ego. Maybe I'm just grasping at straws, but after what I told you, I always feel like "the ones who made it" and interact with their "haters" may be doing it for the wrong reasons.

I think you answered your own question, Anon.

It's empathy and attention she wants. She craves both, but only knows how to give one, and only very conditionally. She needs to feel like a victim and for her stans to tell her she's right.