#and then me and my brothers are just. autism alert.

[janitorjuliann]

my sister and her partner just left from mine (keeping her car at my place, i live 15min from airport) and i got a text saying "we stole someones uber 😂😂" HOW DOES SHE LIVE LIKE THIS!!!!

[tys-kitty]

I love chatting with you too, it's the highlight of my day!

I'm from the south of the UK (not London, thank stars, you could not pay me enough to live in London). What about you? What's your favourite part about your country? (Please don't feel you have to say if you don't want to!)

I naturally tend to a 4am-12 noon sleep schedule, so working nights is a godsend for me, school was hell.

My favourite scene has to be Luke's betrayal scene! The sheer emotion in all of them had me in tears, the betrayal and sorrow and anger! A special shout-out goes to the scene of young-Percy on the roof when he sees the pegasus, I related to that so hard. When classes used to get too much (a mix of tiredness (see the sleep schedule) and undiagnosed autism) I used to climb out the fire escape window onto the roof. I never saw any pegasi, but I did my fair share of daydreaming up there.

My favourite TSC gang has to be the TID gang. I read TID immediately after finishing TMI and I learned those characters by drawing similarities between them and their decendents (Learning Jem became Brother Zachariah broke me) and I just love them to pieces (it is deeply sad to me that Tessa, Jem and Will did not know about polyamory)

My favourite TSC book? Probably Queen of Air and Darkness. My copy has the official artwork in it and I fell in love with it (I don't know if you've seen it, but Ty and Jules on Livvy's pyre? I had to put the book down for an hour to cry)

I hope you don't mind, but I'm gonna infodump about St. Valentines day, because the story behind it is my favourite (even if it is a bit morbid). St Valentine was a priest during the mid 200s, during the reign of Roman emperor Claudius II. Claudius, in true emperor fashion, wanted his armies to be the best. He believed his soldiers would be better if they had no distractions, if they were unmarried. St. Valentine, then still just a priest, used to marry soldiers and their wives in secret, at a time when marrying a soldier (as a priest) was illegal. We celebrate St. Valentines day on the 14th of Febuary because he was executed for his crime on this day in the year 270AD.

Sorry, infodump over.

My turn for a hard question. If you had to give Kit and Ty a theme song each, what would you pick and why?

-☀️

Don‘t tell anyone but it‘s one of my highlights as well 💕

Oh that‘s so cool! Stereotype alert but when I think about the UK I always picture this cute little country side with a cozy cottage. You‘re not a big fan of London, I take it? I was actually in London last Summer and I absolutely adored the city, even though I could never imagine living in a city that big. But I can‘t blame you because I‘m from Austria and I‘m not the biggest fan of Vienna as well. My favourite part about my country would have to be the mountains and lakes!

The Luke betrayal scene was one of my favorites as well! I don‘t know if you‘ve read the books but I loved the fact that Annabeth heard everything! (Also the visuals with the fireworks in the background? Stunning!) Also the hug and the way Percy smiled when Annabeth told him she would go to Disneyland?! (I DIED!) Maybe one day you will see a pegasi (let‘s not give up hope!)

The TMI gang is amazing as well! Tbh I wouldn’t want to choose between the TSC gangs because they are all so different and wholesome in their own way!

SHUT UP! That‘s so amazing! I wish my copy had the original drawings but it seems not everyone can be as cool as you are. My favourite TSC books would have to be Chain of Thorns or Lady Midnight! Queen of Air and Darkness could never be my favourite because that book broke me. I cried so much during the necromancy scene and the aftermath of Livvy‘s death. (And Julian losing his emotions?!?)

WHAT?! WHY DID NOBODY EVER TEACH ME THE HISTORY BEHIND VALENTINE‘S DAY?! I thought it was some cute story with lots of love and flowers. Thank you for ruining my illusion and teaching me something new, I guess😭

THAT‘S SUCH A HARD QUESTION! Like I don‘t really have a particular song for each of them but I have a number of couple songs:

- Say don‘t go (Taylor Swift)

- Into you (Julia Michaels)

- I miss you, I‘m sorry (Gracie Abrams)

- I know it won‘t work (Gracie Abrams)

What about you? (YES YOU ALSO HAVE TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION) And another super hard question for you: Who are your top 3 favourite TSC couples?

(Sorry it took me so long to reply idk why I took me so long to finish this)

[flatstarcarcosa]

i think the reason this dude has my hackles so raised is because like, and please know i’m not saying this with any of the joking manner i normally do when i mention it but, i am a four foot nine cripple with knees that frequently give out and hips that frequently cause me to stumble in pain just doing normal things.

this isn’t a thing where like oooooh i walk around in constant fear because i’m so widdle and defenseless either because in normal circumstances it’s just. not something that DOES overly concern me. this may sound cringe or like i’m trying to be edgy but apparently there’s something (the autism) in the way i carry myself (the autism) despite these things because i HAVE had dudes of varying ages and sizes comment before that no, jokes aside in all seriousness, they wouldn’t try to fuck with me, not necessarily because they think i’d win if they did, but because apparently i give off the vibe (the autism) that it sure won’t be easy if you DO.

and i’ve had plenty of situations with weird dudes that made me alert and maybe bothered me, and while nothing has ever escalated i didn’t have a sudden, ass clenching fear of ‘i wouldn’t be able to fight this fucker off’.

but i think what’s setting off my fight or flight with this new dude at work is because he just oozes this aura that he’s not. the type to take that into consideration at all if he’s going to flip out on you.

i say he has the same vibe as my brother in law bc my brother in law was (still is maybe haven’t had contact with either of them in over a decade) like that. i was always a little uncomfortable around him for reasons i couldn’t express, which of course got ignored, and resulted in an absolutely horrendous eight week trip stuck in fucking texas that i will not elaborate on.

i think the reason this dude at work is worse is because my brother in law was the type to quite honestly use being a crazy white boy in his favor, but it was apparently common knowledge among the circles he and my sister ran in that like yeah he’ll flip out on you but he’s also a bit of a coward and a little bitch. he’s only going to flip out on people he thinks he can scare. (hence. the trip. i was....13? 14?)

this dude does not. feel like that. i don’t know how to describe the difference without essentially making up Scenarios but it’s just. it’s different, and feels inherently more dangerous.

[evilkitten3]

ok so first this is an absolutely epic takedown of everything the first person said, but also i can draw a direct line to my mom, my brother, or myself in damn near everything she said

i'll start by saying that of the three of us, i'm probably the most notable outlier bc i lived the first 19 years of my life as a girl prior to coming out and i was diagnosed sometime around 4th-6th grade iirc, and not only that but my mom was alerted that i was having some kind of social issues as early as pre-school, so as far as (people who were born as) girls go, i would say i'm a bit of an outlier

(side note - to anyone who for whatever reason has been keeping strict track of the things i've said concerning my family who's suddenly wondering why i'm now lumping my mom in with my brother and i as autistic when i've almost certainly explicitly said otherwise, the reason is that she finally admitted it earlier this week. proud of you, mom! admittedly she didn't remember she'd denied it in the past bc we're all also adhders but that's a separate thing)

anyway! my brother is a textbook case of getting adhd diagnosed significantly prior to the autism diagnosis, and while my mom hasn't been diagnosed with either one (and probably won't be bc she doesn't see the need and doesn't need the validation and also it's not nearly as subtle as i think she might have thought it was bc mom that level of incredibly specific history knowledge and need to share it is not "a casual interest"), she's more or less in the same boat (if you replace "diagnosed" with "noticed")

i'm tired and also way more bored of typing this than i was when i started (oops) so i'll skip whatever else i was thinking about that i totally didn't just completely forget about haha nope not me and say that i also as part of my current job have been and will for a bit continue to interact with a lot of autistic and similar people, and many of the people i've met who have more support needs simply would not use almost any social media app i've seen, either due to lack of ability, lack of interest, or bc the apps are innocently inaccessible at best and incredibly hostile to diverse needs at worst

(also - and this is not something i'm qualified in any way to dive into but it is something i have heard about and believe is worth mentioning in the hopes that someone who is more qualified might choose to step in - concerning racial biases in diagnoses, black and latino children (particularly black boys and latino girls, i think? not sure about that at all) are very frequently diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder or odd instead of other more fitting diagnoses such as adhd, autism, bipolar disorder, etc. since - as this whole borderline essay has likely already made apparent through the privileges i've displayed both consciously and likely also not - i am white, this isn't something i've been directly affected by nor something i paid much attention to until relatively recently. but i do think it's worth acknowledging and keeping in mind when discussing diagnostic biases)

an eloquent take down of the "people are self diagnosing autism to be trendy and for attention" take that morons have been echoing on tiktok

[lyricsandstuff2]

Just realized I'm genuinely not interested in meeting new people (unless on my own terms) and establishing new connections & interpersonal relationships are draining for me

D:

I mean now that I've put it into words, I can see that I've been that way for as long as I can remmeber

But it took me a good chunk of time to realize that lol

#also when i was a wee little child i used to really FOCUS when reading books to the point of just straight up not hearing people or outside world sounds

#people would talk to me and call my name trying to get my attention, and sometimes I would even answer but I wouldn't be aware that I answered them

#I didn't respond to sound unless they touched my shoulder to alert me lol

#but when they did that I used to snap at them because they broke my concentration and scared me

#sorry about that little brother (mom always had him collect me for dinner)

#so yeah I'm guessing those were (are?) kind of symptoms of adhd or autism or something neurodivergent?

#i grew out of the not-hearing-when-reading one but I still kinda have dyslexia (my little brother too)

#and I'm guessing not feeling the need to initiate socializing comes from a similar place?

[rokkazu]

Are you proship/comship? (Asking because your username is eagledile and hawkodile and eagleator are foster brothers. I'm not judging, I'm profic myself, just curious.)

Hey there anon! bit of a loaded question you got there! I'm honestly not sure if this is bait to get me to admit to being "problematic" or a genuine question, but i'm feeling nice and explanatory today so i'm gonna break this down for ya. I have a lot of thoughts on everything you just said so... sorry if this post gets really long. (spoiler alert it does)

first of all, the proship thing. i don't really think there's a way to be brief about this without someone twisting my words and making me out to be a literal pedo apologist or something, so i'm just gonna say the pro/anti dichotomy is dumb as hell and does nothing but cause unnecessary confusion. the question of "is fiction depicting things i find gross and unacceptable allowed to exist" is just complete fucking nonsense. there isn't one answer to this. i have friends who cope with and process their sexual trauma with things that people consider unacceptable under any circumstances because they can't comprehend that anyone would have a nuanced relationship with the things that hurt them. it is not my business to decide what is and is not allowed, and i choose to judge people based on their own individual situations. if that makes me proship then whatever i don't actually care. just because something can cause harm doesn't mean it has no use or purpose, or that it should be destroyed or hidden away. i am not saying pedophilia or incest is good, actual sexual assault is obviously horrible, i do not like those things even as fictional scenarios personally. I'm just fucking normal and don't judge people before i actually know why they're doing what they do. please for the love of god think with your brain and treat people like people i'm begging you.

(btw this isn't directed at you anon, im not assuming you're going to be weird about this right off the bat. i know some people would though, so i'm being clear just in case.)

OKAY now that's out of the way we can get to the fun part, character analysis of an inconsistently written kids cartoon for 8 year olds! I do not think eagleator and hawkodile are brothers. i straight up just don't buy it. that may sound confusing at first but let me lay it out for you in excruciating detail because autism. okay so, i've been in this fandom since like mid 2020? so i don't have ALL the context but i do have a good amount. i was around when the concept of them being adoptive brothers was first spread around. and yes, this is not an old concept. literally NOBODY thought this before like, mid 2021. so what happened? Imagine you're scrolling through the #unikitty! tag. It's a slow day in mid-late 2021, not much going on. you notice a post from someone listing off a few of their favorite ships, and one of the ones they mention is eagleator/hawkodile. You're me in this scenario, so you're naturally interested in someone mentioning your rather niche favorite ship, so you read through, maybe you notice there's a couple comments on this post, so you check them out to see what's up.

This is what you see. If you're not familiar, this is the tumblr account of Careen Ingle, one of the directors of the show. She's known for being one of the crew members who interacts a lot with the fandom, answering questions about certain things, usually on Twitter. Now, as far as i'm aware, i was one of the first people to notice this. At first, this really confused me, because like, while the ship wasn't common it also definitely wasn't unheard of? people have very much watched The New Nemesis and immediately posted "so that was kind of really gay right? it's not just me?" no one really took it that seriously, but it was definitely A Thing. Why would she say something about his now, nearly a year after the show had ended? why not say something earlier? To be honest with you, i still don't know. I don't know why she said this. She has never, ever elaborated on this, and no one even asked. About the only thing i heard of this was people either posting this exact screenshot or referencing it, appended with something like "if you still ship them after this block me and never speak to me again." This still baffles me to this day. There was no confusion, no push-back, anyone who thought this was even remotely questionable seemed to just disappear from any discussion of it. it was a complete echo-chamber of "this isn't okay anymore because Careen Said So" and then radio silence on the topic ever since.

Now, if you're not very familiar with the show itself, this might not seem that strange to you. but, and maybe this is just my perspective.. there is no indication of this in the actual text of the show itself. Absolutely none. In fact, i would argue some episodes actually contradict this idea! At best, what i get from the few episodes that actually touch on their relationship is that them being brothers would be a perfectly fine viewer interpretation, something to headcanon maybe, but absolutely not set in stone or obviously spelled out for you.

Seriously, if you don't believe me, go watch every episode that's relevant to this. there's like, 3 of them. That's just over half an hour of runtime. Here's a list, actually: S1E3 "Action Forest"

The first episode that establishes Hawkodile and Eagleator's relationship. Notice how they refer to eachother as "bro"(as in the non-literal slang term for a close friend, i assume), but never once a full, played-straight "brother", even when hawkodile is doing his dramatic backstory spiel. Also the song that plays when they hug is reused in a scene with master frown and brock in Beach Daze, who are like no-question canonically gay. Hmmm.

S2E12 "Hawkodile Sensei"

Eagleator isn't in this one, and some of the flashback scenes straight up contradict things that happen in Action Forest's flashback scenes (i personally choose to interpret this as hawkodile just being a very unreliable narrator for my own sanity) but the main relevant takeaway here is the fact that when hawkodile is basically emulating the way Sensai Falcomodo taught him, Unikitty makes a comment about him "[...]going to be a great dad", which Hawkodile immediately rejects by saying "i'm not gonna be their dad, i'm gonna be their sensei!" which.. seems to imply that Hawkodile very much does not see Falcomodo as a parental figure, just a mentor/teacher, that those two things are completely different to him. Kinda throws a wrench in the whole "foster brothers" thing, don't it?

S3E14 "The New Nemesis"

Okay, i really need to skim over this one because this post is already getting obnoxiously long, and to be honest this is the one episode i could pick apart for hours. Just.. just watch it. This episode is pretty much half the reason anyone ships them in the first place, and i'm still wondering how one of the directors can whole-heartedly believe that these two characters shouldn't be shipped when this whole episode is... the way that it is. i could genuinely make an entire post just about this episode if anyone even wants to see that.

So yeah, in conclusion, not pro or anti ship but a secret third thing called thinking with my brain. if you use either of those labels i'm ignoring it and asking you what you actually fucking mean by that. i ship eagledile because, from my perspective, there is now way anyone could have known they were "supposed to be brothers" from the content of the show itself, and i'm not going to change my whole view of these character's relationship just because someone on the team said so, somewhat rudely, in the comments of a post made by someone who didn't even fucking ask, and failed to give any reason or evidence for why i should even believe that. Death of the author and all that. Hope this clears things up!

[teenandbeyond]

Hey! Do you think you can write a chubby reader x the bayverse tmnt, maybe the reader has autism, I have autism btw, and I also have tics or seizures because of it, so I wanna know what the four would do if they caught the reader mid seizure, if that’s ok with you of course, I don’t want you uncomfortable

TMNT x Cubby. Autistic Reader

Sorry, I took so long! I was busy with classes and I wanted to research to make it as accurate as possible (since I didn't know much about it)! I made each scenario different in some way, since autism is different for everyone! But let me know if I portrayed something wrong :) Edit: The last one was inspired by my mother (who has non-epileptic seizures) since that's the type I'm most familiar with.

Want more from me? Masterlist 2

☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆

Hold On (TMNT or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Warning(s): Seizures (but I mean, it's in the ask, so...)

You warned your turtle ahead of time about what your case of Autism entails, but he gets put to the test when he sees it in action the first time...

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Leo

When you started to crush on Leo, it was hard to be confident at first.

Because you weren't the best communicator

And because human guys had this fixed mindset, that having a little more weight on you than skinny girls

Wasn't desirable

You had some confidence in yourself, that you'd slowly built up despite that

But you didn't know if that's what Leo wanted

"Huh? Why would I care about that? Doesn't hinder your beauty in any way."

He was right, you are beautiful 🥺

At some point, you'd mentioned having Autism finally, he'd looked up the main definition.

"Oh, that makes more sense."

You simply explained your tics

He was surprised, he didn't even realize that some could seem regular.

Like yours, you repeated words and cleared your throat.

“I can—can also have seizures, sometimes.”

"Are they big?"

"Not always."

It warmed your heart with how unflinchingly he accepted you fully.

And you loved it when he cuddled into you (when he had time, anyway)

Sometimes you had trouble understanding how he felt, but he had no problem explaining it to you

He always held your hand in social situations with his brothers, so you always had a solid comfort

And you related to each other, often keeping to yourselves except with each other.

One day, though, as he crawled through your open window--

He'd have to scold you for that later, it shouldn't get opened until he's actually here

--He noticed it was quiet.

Quieter than usual

He slowly edged from your living room to you bedroom, hearing quiet noises as he got closer

He opened the door, freezing as he saw your body spasm on the floor.

He panicked a little at first--he knew you had them--but it was different seeing them in person

He took a deep breath, "I have to be calm for [Name]. Calm down, Leo..."

He regretted not looking deeper into what to do if a seizure hit.

So he just did what felt natural.

He looked for something soft and flat, not lumpy, to put under your head.

Which was appreciated, that floor hadn't felt good the few times your head smacked into it.

And with focus, he took off the choker you'd put on that day. Making sure you could breathe.

Softly caressed your hair, whispering that he was there, he wasn't going anywhere.

And soon your body calmed, it still took a second for you to become alert again, so he didn't rush to scoop you into his arms until then.

"Thank you, Leo."

He kisses your head, "I'll make sure to thoroughly look it up when I get home, I promise."

Raphael

You kind of thought Raph would be the type to accidentally make fun of you

But no

"Does that have somethin' tuh do with your body?"

"Yeah, one of my tics."

You were surprised when suddenly Raph seemed to know a lot about things.

"You have Autism, right? I was lookin' up tics and came across it. You have a lot of the symptoms."

"Yeah, I do."

He found himself understanding you better, with your difficulties in communication.

And some of your repetitive behaviors.

He was more focused on educating himself on your condition than caring about your body.

If anything...

"I find your body cute. I like it that way."

Once you scraped your knee.

"Here, I'll pick you up."

"I'm heavy."

He only blinked before holding you in a single arm.

"I'm not like those weakling human guys who can't handle you."

And that was tested when the boys returned from patrol to see you fall to the ground and jerk.

"[Name]!" Mikey called, worried.

Raph quickly approached you.

"What's happening?!"

"Mikey, calm down," Raph cleared anything hard away from your body.

"What? But-"

"Freakin' out won't help [Name]."

He gently took off your glasses, holding them out for someone to take.

"Do you give [Name] mouth-to mouth?"

Raph turned you gently to the side so you could breathe, "No, I don't do dat."

"And...no water?" he began to calm.

"Not the best idea while like this."

"How do you know so much about this, Raph," Leo wondered.

The red turtle got a little flustered, "I just...wanted to know everything I could about [Name]..."

Donatello

He'd already kind of figured you had Autism, considering he has a vast knowledge of a lot of things and medical conditions.

And your chubby body? He was too logic-minded to find something wrong with that.

As for your Autism, Donnie took notes.

"[Name] Seems to have a tic, licking their lips...I'll observe to see what else I can learn..."

When it came to speaking, you did it well, but you were still a little awkward and didn't always catch social cues.

He could relate at times, so that didn't affect him in any way

You peered over his shoulder as he took notes one time, "I also have seizures."

"Big ones?"

"No, pretty subtle."

"Alright, I look out for it, then."

And one day that happened.

You were right, it was subtle.

You blinked rapidly and stared into space suddenly.

"[Name]?"

A few seconds later, "Hm...?"

"Was that it?"

"I, uh, yeah."

"You alright?"

"I'm getting there."

"Alright, let's sit you down," he led you to his chair a short distance away.

You smiled, "Your glasses...glasses look cute on you. You look cute."

He chuckled, "You look cute, too."

Michelangelo

He didn't give you time to wonder what he thought about your body.

Always complimented your outfits

"You look great today, [Name]!"

And just you in general

Sometimes on accident

"Beautiful..."

"Huh?"

"Huh? N-nothin'...ahem."

And once you started dating, he always gave your body kisses.

You twitched for the first time and he asked if you were okay.

"Yeah, one of my tics."

"Tics?"

"From my autism. I get tics."

"Autism?"

Being the curious turtle he is, he'll end up looking it up after you leave. Not able to get it out of his head.

"Oh, okay! So that's where the tics come from...But what does this mean?"

You're stunned when suddenly he seems to be educated on Autism, overnight.

"So that's why you're always hyper-focused on that thing you like, huh?"

"Yeah."

"That makes more sense, and..."

He'd go into a ramble about all the new things he's learned.

It's quite adorable he cares so much.

Then it happens one day.

Your words start to slur.

"[Name]? Are you okay?"

You furrow your brows, seemingly confused, "I...gkjsmm."

Your eyes slowly fluuter closed and your body starts to jerk.

"[Name]? [Name]?"

You don't respond.

"Donnie!" Mikey rushes to find his brother.

"What is it Mikey--" his annoyance becomes concern when he takes in his expression.

"It's [Name]."

"What happened?"

On the way back to you he explains everything.

"A seizure. How long has it been?"

"Not long. I found you right away--I--Donnie."

"Calm down, Mikey."

"Right, right...I have to calm down."

"Did you time it?"

"Right, yeah. I have to do that."

He quickly set up a timer with your unlocked phone.

"And then, I have to lay [Name] flat, right?"

"Yeah. You seem to know a decent bit, Mikey."

He gently adjusted you, "I looked it up...I just...it's different when it's...there."

"I get it."

"They uh--they say they can't respond to any questions or directions clearly."

"That's right. Sometimes for a few minutes after, too."

At the four-minute mark, you stopped. Calming down, but you still weren't completely alert.

"Thanks, Donnie. I think I got it from here."

"Let me know if anything happens, okay?"

"I will."

"Mi...Mikey?"

"Hm?"

"Okay?"

"You're asking me?"

"Probably was...um...scary for you."

"I was just worried. Are you okay?"

A slow nod, "Yes, thank you."

By the time you were fully okay, Mikey quickly fetched you water

"You did a good job, Mikey."

"But I freaked out," he pouted.

"You managed to calm down quickly and stay that way. That helped."

"How?"

"I don't want to see you freak out when like that."

"Oh."

"So that helped. Thank you."

[raayllum]

I just saw ur post about "runaan and ezran being autism solidarity" and my mind is whirring with headcanons, would u like to hear them?? :D

Yess!! Provided I can share some of my own <3 The way I think Ezran's autism presents really reminds me of how mine presents so 😊😊😊

Runaan sharpening his blades as a stim, and his black and white thinking helping him detach from what he's doing. Also speaks to how much he believes something is righteous and his difficulty in deviating from the mission at all

Jelly tarts are one of Ez's safe foods, his little leg kicky thing is his favourite stim. Bait and Zym texture wise really help him calm down. It also explains why his family emphasized identifying and verbalizing emotions & Ezran's trouble fitting in with other kids his age growing up despite being a lovely little boy

Ellis is also autistic because she is also1) deeply empathetic 2) similar texture stuff with animals, 3) bonds quickly and easily with Ezran which is just neurodivergent things, 4) barrels over social cues with good cheer & friendliness 5) no volume control

Partially inspired when I was working on chapters featuring Ezran and Runaan's bond in "if time is money" because they get along very well.

Ezran was next to join them, still yawning a little as he took a plate of pancakes and sat down, feeding a piece to Bait before he began to dig in. Callum smiled a little.

“Long night again?” he asked sympathetically before taking a sip of his juice, and Ezran nodded.

“Runaan and I talked,” he said, and Callum nearly spit out his drink. “It was nice.”

“You and Runaan talked alone?”

“Yes?”

Callum had to reel himself—and the vivid pang of panic—back in. “What—what did he say?”

“Not much,” Ezran shrugged. “He couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t either. I talked to him about the party plans? He asked a few questions about it. That’s all.”

“So you... had small talk with Runaan?”

“Yes?”

“And he wasn’t… weird?”

“No? But you’re being weird,” Ezran said, feeding another pancake piece to Bait.

“No, I didn’t mean—” He glanced at Ethari, who still had a contented smile on his face. “So… it was okay?”

“Yeah. He’s nice. I dunno how long it took after I left for him to go to bed.”

“It’s okay, Callum,” said Rayla. “You wouldn’t leave me alone with Ezran the first two days, either.”

His cheeks heated. “That was mostly circumstantial.” He’d spent the first day with Ezran in the Lodge, and the second in the boat or on the shore. There hadn’t exactly been places to go, although... part of him thought he wouldn’t maybe let Ez and Rayla wander off their own, too, once she closed up about her binding and set him on alert again. That wariness had faded soon after the events on the ice, and had completely gone away after he’d tried to tell Ezran about their father. After she’d become a real confidant. It’d been different.

This was different. This was peacetime with a stiff, intimidating elf who would become even more rigid every time he seemed to start to bend. Because even if he trusted him not to kill his brother, it didn’t mean he trusted what Runaan would have to say to him. Or that, if Runaan said something incredibly dense, Ezran’s kindness and compassion could run out (Callum had seen it do so before, with some other politicians) and once lost, it would be another wedge between Rayla’s old family and her new. Callum, had least, had gotten used to jumping over it.

He stiffened when Runaan walked in from outside, walking over to his husband to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Good morning!” Ezran said before even Rayla could say it, and Runaan smiled.

“Good morning Ezran,” he greeted, settling down at the table.

Callum had to work furiously not to keep his jaw from dropping. Yesterday Runaan could barely be in the same room as his brother. How had this happened?

“How was your walk ?” Rayla asked carefully.

“Fine. The surrounding forests are quite nice.”

“I think we’re getting more snow soon,” Ezran said. “You should see them when there’s a fresh layer of snow on everything.”

“I’ll remember that,” Runaan smiled. “And… Ethari mentioned you build… snow-men?”

[keyboardthenerd]

DMC OC Week 2022: Day 3 - Past & Future Part 2

Siena: My brother/sibling is wearing a frickin' suit to their autism diagnosis appointment.

Dante: It's a special event!

Siena: Shut up!

Part #1 is over here! This be part #2 of my answer for Day 3 of DMC OC Week. AUs!

Since Roman's story is very big on family, and support networks, and going against one's better judgement, I think a fun AU to talk about is the AU Roman shares with (mainly) Siena and Morgan (owned by @shadedshadowmc and @jakdacrowe on twitter respectively): Sibling AU.

Since Siena and Morgan grow up with Dante, and Roman does not, there are two main timelines in the Sibling AU, one where Roman was rescued from the Hatchling Project early, and thus, Roman got to grow up with Morgan, Siena, and Siena's mom, Vanessa (as well as Dante of course), and one where they didn't, and Morgan and Siena get to meet the older, more traumatised Roman.

I've decided that it's time so share some actual writing of mine with the class. I am very scared.

There is no joke.

Roman Eques Laurel:

Roman and Siena by @shadedshadowmc

It was early in the morning, early enough that no one else had woken up. Roman had carefully made their way down stairs and was off making the quietest breakfast they could. Just some cereal fresh from the trip to the store yesterday. They rubbed their eyes but didn’t open them, they knew the kitchen well enough to not feel the need; it felt better to navigate by sound alone; limited the stimuli and such. 

They carefully lifted themselves onto the kitchen bar and sat cross legged in front of their bowl of cereal, wherein they finally opened their eyes.

Something in their stomach churned. A quiet yet lived in house, a lone breakfast in the morning, it all stung an awful taste of familiar. 

But I’m fine. They thought. I’m not there, and I’ll never be there again. Not to stay at least. It’ll never be back then ever again.

With their mood rightly soured, Roman tried to get lost looking outside the window and forget every thought they’d ever had. It wasn’t until they heard footsteps trailing happily down the stairs that they zoned back into the inside.

Roman slowly turned to face whoever had come down the stairs and was greeted with a very happy Siena. Clearly, she treated mornings differently than they did. She bopped her head to a song they couldn’t hear. It was a stark comparison to their other siblings. They way she smiled, like she didn’t have to worry about fighting through every day. It made them jealous in a way they didn’t mind feeling. She laughed when she saw them, staunchly refusing to use the chair. It made sense to them, moving the chair might disturb someone else in the house and alert them to them being awake. They smiled and blinked slowly. 

“Good morning, Romeo!”

What did she say?

No no no, hold on. What did she just call me? I did not hear that right. I didn’t hear that right. She did not call me that. That is not something we heard. Not now. Not ever again. I refuse to believe that we heard that again. Not again. We couldn’t have. We couldn’t have. We ran so far. We’ve so far left to run. I’m so tired. I don’t want to keep running. She couldn’t have called me that. She was never there. She never heard them. She wasn’t one of them. She was no one to them.

“What did you call me?”

Siena saw the light almost instantly leave Roman’s eyes. Their smile dropped as their eyes widened. 

“Ah, sorry, I know how ya get with nicknames, thought somethin’ that sounded more like your name might vibe better with ya.”

Her concern deepened when her explanation caused no change in Roman’s expression.

“What did you call me?”

Oh damn it, what if they misheard me? What do they think I said?

“Romeo, man! Nothin’ too ba-”

Siena’s words were cut off as Roman lept of the countertop, hands reaching for her throat. Roman swang their entire body weight towards her. Siena dropped behind the countertop, Roman’s hands scraping past her face as she fell. She turned around only to find them spinning themselves back around to face her. She swung to the right just as Roman’s fist slammed into the countertop, shattering the wood into splinters. 

“What’s gotten into you man?” Siena stared in awe and fear at Roman as their head spun around to face her.

“Don’t you ever call me that!”

Roman clawed at the countertop, flinging a cloud of splinters into Siena’s face. She had already pulled up her arm to block the initial shower of wood. She brought it closer to her face all too late to realise that she was just blinding herself further. Roman launched into her torso, pulling her to the ground. It was only because she already had her hands held close to her face that she was able to catch the fist that came flying towards her. 

“DON’T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT!” Roman screamed again, tears welling in their eyes. Siena heard a shuffle of footsteps upstairs and knew she’d only need to hold out just a second or so longer.

“Roman! I’m sorry I-”

“Roman!”

Siena’s confused apology was cut off by Dante pulling Roman away from her. They fought against their father’s hold with murderous intent before settling and realising that there was no way they were to suddenly grow stronger than Dante. 

“Don’t you ever call me that again!” They screamed one final time, their blood red eyes looking straight through her, tears finally falling down their face.

“Roman… I’m so sorry… I…”

The three of them stood in silence, Dante was speechless as to how to even start to deconstruct what happened. He was just trying to sleep in on a Saturday morning, having to try and stop one of his kids from killing the other was not part of his agenda.

“Roman, what ha-”

“I’m fine.” They dropped their head, their shoulders following as they stopped fighting against their father’s hold.

“Roman, you’re very obviously not-”

“I said I’m fine! I just wanna go to my room.”

Hesitantly, Dante loosened his grip. Keeping their head low, Roman paused, before beelining it straight to their room, the door slamming behind them as the house fell into silence once more.

“Well…” Dante attempted to break the awkward silence. “Good morning, Squirt.”

The two sat silently at the counter, Dante attempted to quietly eat some toast for breakfast while Siena solemnly pushed around pieces of an omelette. 

“If you’re worried about them-”

“They exploded at me! I don’t even know what I did!” Siena threw her fork down in frustration.

“You’re never gonna know what you did unless you ask them.” Dante spoke softly, even after so many years he still wasn’t the best when dealing with delicate, emotional stuff. 

Siena sighed and pushed her chair away from the surface, she hated leaving someone close to her alone and upset, and she hated even more not knowing what she did to upset them. Their strained voice rang again and again in her head.

Don’t you ever call me that!

She gently made her way upstairs and knocked on Roman’s door.

“You in there, buddy?”

No response.

She knocked again.

“Roman? I just wanted to talk about what happened earlier.”

Still no response.

“Please?”

The sound of a lock clicking open relieved Siena. She hated the thought of someone shutting themselves away from help.

She carefully opened the door to find cuddled up on a heap on the floor, their knees tucked into their chest. She slowly lowered herself down onto the floor next to them.

“Look, I’m sorry for whatever I said or did that upset you, I really am.”

Yet again, they remained silent.

She sighed, “Can you at least tell me how I upset you? I don’t want this to happen again.”

She watched as Roman’s shoulders heaved up and down.

“It’s fine. Really.”

“It’s not fine. I upset you and I wanna make sure I don’t do that again.”

They sat silently for a while before Roman finally caved. 

“It’s dumb and stupid… Siblings from the Hatchling Project used it to mock me… They started using it a little after I came out… It felt so familiar this morning… It was so quiet… When you said that, it got so much further under my skin than I’d like to admit…”

Siena was in shock, the idea of being linked to the same siblings Roman spoke with such animosity horrified her.

“Roman, I’m so sorry. I promise I never want to ever be anything like any of those bozos.”

Siena inched slightly closer to Roman; she wanted to try and hug their pain away but she knew how hot and cold they were with physical contact. She carefully leaned against them as they sat in silence for a while. 

“Two of them are still alive, by the way.”

Siena looked up at Roman suddenly.

“I’m sorry?”

“I stayed behind to deal with Uri while Sadie and Tobias escaped. If I’m still alive, they should be as well.”

“What would ya’ do if you ever met them again?”

Roman finally picked their head up, but they didn’t face Siena, instead choosing the stare straight ahead.

“I’d try to kill them on sight. It was a promise we made to each other. If we ever saw each other again, we’d consider the other compromised and out for blood. It made things easy.”

“Well, one, I would never think of ya’ as ‘compromised and out for blood’, and two, I’d like to personally offer my sick fightin’ moves to help kick their sorry asses back to hell where they belong.”

To demonstrate her “sick fightin’ moves”, Siena jumped up and started rapidly punching the air with extreme precision, she bobbed carefully on her feet as she took strong jabs at the air.

“Trust me, if I had my way, I’d never see my siblings again.”

Siena paused, “Does that include me?”

Roman’s eyes widened, they did have a habit of refusing to think about their words before they spoke. They opened their mouth a couple times only for a stutter of noises to come out before they could properly formulate an answer.

“It’s not like that…” they buried their head in their chest again, “I just don’t want to mess up in front of everyone.” They shoved their hands in their face, muffling their voice. “Not you, not Dante, not anyone.”

Siena crouched back onto the floor, placing a gentle hand on Roman’s shoulder.

“I promise, while ya’ don’t often make the most sound decisions, and while ya’ make the occasionally catastrophic mistake, I’d never abandon you.”

Roman scrunched their shoulders and slowly looked up, revealing just their eyes.

“And neither would Dad.” Siena finished.

She hoped that Roman wouldn’t mind as she pulled them into a hug. It took a couple seconds, but they eventually gave in.

“Now, can you promise me somethin’?”

“...What?”

They sounded like they were about to cry; Siena hoped getting them slightly annoyed and talking would be a little better.

“Can you promise me that you’d never abandon me or Dad? Family’s always gotta be there for each other, ya’ know?”

“That’s not-”

“Family should always be there for each other.” Siena corrected herself, she wasn’t about to let Roman pessimism their way out of this.

“I’ll… try…”

“Good.”

Siena finally released Roman from the hug, rising to her feet.

“Now, you wanna come join us downstairs? Your cereal’s all soggy, but there’s plenty more where that came from.”

“I’m not too hungry actually…”

“Hey! No. You need to eat after you’ve been cryin’. It’s not good to be sad on an empty stomach.”

Siena thought about how Roman thought the early morning felt all too awfully familiar. She smiled at them as they reminded her awfully of her father, and her repeated pleas for him to eat at least something. Even the least healthy food option was better than killing demons and grieving for his brother on an empty stomach.

“Fine.” 

Roman slowly got to their feet as Siena offered an outstretched hand. They hesitantly took it and helped themself up. Siena smiled and playfully refused to let go as she dragged them onto the landing, a small part of her scared that they wouldn’t actually join her and Dante. Luckily for her, they didn’t seem to fight back that much.

Hopefully this isn't... cringe... Ah. Go look at part #1. Ah!

[ultrabright-flashlight]

This ask game (link)

I'm asking u all of these questions simultaneously

Here it is

1. Do you have an inner world?

Sort of but not really. It’s kind of a void in there. There’s a hidden passage to Narnia but I ain’t found it yet

2. Is there some sort of organization to your parts?

Tbh I’m not quite sure what this one means, autism mode activate

3. Do you experience your disorder as overt or covert?

A little overt. I do mask a lot, but I don’t really try to hide symptoms that often cause it’s not like anyone will figure it out anyways

4. How do you experience communication from parts?

We don’t(/hj). Next question

5. Are there parts that are able to communicate more than others?

I think that would be Renity tbh, but she just doesn’t do it much

6. What is the best grounding technique you’ve discovered that works for you?

Honestly we still don’t have a reliable method to do that

7. What’s a resource you found you can trust?

There have been resources in the past but i don’t even remember them,

8. Do you have any fictional introjects? What is that like for you?

Furan and Seven are both introjects of the player character from their respective source games. Furan was a customizable character so when we play that game it’s like ‘oh look it’s her’ /pos. Seven’s source character was a fixed non-customizable character and whenever we play that games it’s like ‘oh look it’s her’ /neg

9. When did you find out/realize you had a dissociative disorder?

Since recognizing and naming Lucy back when I was 12/13, the suspicion of DID kept creeping up every now and then. I always dismissed it cause I thought ooo it’s so rare there’s no way. These are just different personas I act out as long as you ignore it was never acting. Spoiler alert when I was like 17/18 I think I gave in and started doing research and took therapy seriously. It was actually DID the whole time. I wonder how well I would be doing today if I listened to those suspicions from the beginning, since I recognized an alter when I was a TWEEN

10. What does denial look like for you?

Denial usually comes from me, the host. I just wonder if I actually made them all up.

11. What are some denial busters that work?

Switching. Just a simple switch, someone else takes the front for a bit and proves they’re real for the ten thousandth time

12. Do you have any other identities that make your experience with your dissociative disorder different?

I don’t think so. But it’s possible autism is affecting it, and I’m just so used to it that I don’t realize

13. What is a song that always brightens your mood?

I have a few, actually

My Castle Town - Toby Fox

You Are The Moon - The Hush Sound

What Is My Life - The Gregory Brothers(yes this is the Jacksepticeye song)

The Smile Song from My Little Pony. I don’t feel like being ashamed of this. If my smile is all it takes to make the little pink pony happy then that’s what she’ll get

Gold by Jeff Williams(from RWBY)

14. What ANP’s are around the most? How do they differ from each other?

I’m gonna be honest I don’t know for sure if any of us is an ANP or not

15. When parts are working together in your life, what does that look like?

Basically just doing the things we’re best at so the others don’t have to. Conflict resolution and comforting people for Nameless, giving advice for Renity, etc

16. How does having a dissociative disorder affect your relationship with the people closest to you?

That’s pandora’s box and I’m not opening it

17. If you could tell someone questioning whether they have DID/OSDD one thing, what would it be?

If it’s a stranger, I’d tell them to be kind to their alters no matter what if they have it. If it’s a friend I’ll tell them they can always come to me for help

18. What has your experience with therapy been like?

Id rather not answer this one tbh

19. How do you experience gender?

£€#*}*<^>’h$(84£}*[..

20. Are there dichotomous views on your gender expression?

Kind of yeah. Some of us like to be more feminine, some of us like to be more androgynous. One of us wants to transition

21. What kinds of decisions do you check in with parts before making?

The biggest thing is decisions that will drastically affect relationships, such as ending a friendship or starting/ending a relationship

22. What would the perfect day look like to you?

A day with my friends where I don’t run out of energy, and maybe the others in my system finally get some recognition and love, since they tend to be left in the dark and disconnected

23. Do you make time for other parts to do things? Why or why not?

Since voluntary switching isn’t a skill we have(the exception being Renity), no. But everyone’s welcome to do what they want when they front as long as it’s not harmful

24. Do you get involved in syscourse? Why or why not? Has this changed over time?

I used to be heavily into the syscourse scene. There was a lot I was able to mentally handle but eventually it just got too braindead for me. I still hold the same views, but I’m not going to fight over it

25. What is a piece of misinformation about DID/OSDD you want to clear up?

GOD that’s a lot. I can’t really decide honestly

26. When would you tell someone about your DID/OSDD? How do you explain your DID/OSDD?

I tend to just let my friends know. I’ve gotten shameless about being mentally ill lately, plus anyone who’s mega ableist about it has no business being in my life anyways. I don’t tell people outside of friend circles, though

27. What does your support system look like?

I assume this means support for my mental health. My fucking computer. Video games with my friends. What more could I ever want?

28. Have you met other people with DID/OSDD online? What was it like?

I have a friend who has it and I also mod a server for systems. It’s fucking liberating man, to have other people around me who actually Get It. Even if I don’t say much about my own system, I feel understood when I listen to them talk

[dna-d2]

Leverage Redemption, and How it Handled Character Replacement

(Long Post Alert, so I’ll put a TL;DR down at the bottom)

(Also Spoilers for Leverage Redemption if you haven’t seen it)

So I recently got around to watching Leverage after way too long, immediately followed by Leverage Redemption. To start off with, if you love found family and eating the rich, watch this show. If you don’t like that stuff, also watch it, because I promise that by the end of it, you will. It has quickly become one of my favorite shows and I find myself smiling consistently throughout watching it. (Especially when Eliot is on screen because goddammit, I always end up picking the tough guy as one of my favorites. Though it’s much better when Hardison is on screen too because I fucking love their dynamic)

Anyway

Before I get too far into this, let me give you a pretty quick rundown on Leverage as a whole, to help contextualize all this. Also so I can finally talk about why I love this show in general, because no one else I know watches this and I need to talk about it.

So Leverage is basically a show where a group of ex-cons (convicts, con-men, you decide) teaming up with the guy who used to help catch them to pull off a heist for what they think are the right reasons at the time. (Spoiler alert, they got tricked, and then had to pull another heist to fix what they messed up) After that, they basically decided to remain teamed up to basically pull heists and con various types of rich douchebags who were gaming the system at the expense of the people. This is basically the whole show.

The Crew is comprised of five people. Sophie Devereaux (if that is her real name), the Grifter. She’s basically a master at pulling cons and tricking people. She’s basically the actress of the group, who pulls a lot of weight in getting the mark ready for their tricks and whatnot.

Eliot Spencer, the Hitter. And also my favorite character. He is literally what he’s advertised as. He hits things. REALLY well. In all seriousness, I can only think of one or two times in the entire series that he actually lost a fight, and he usually managed to get them back pretty quickly. He’s basically the violent older brother of the group, and as per sibling rules, he must always torment his younger siblings. Especially the middle child. That’s important. But also HE’S the only one allowed to torment them, because the second anyone else tries to mess with them, he (sometimes literally) jumps in out of nowhere to beat the everloving shit out of them. It’s great.

Alec Hardison, the Hacker. He’s also what he’s advertised as. A master hacker, as well as a Jack of All Trades in most technological and non-technological type stuff. You never know what knowledge he’s gonna pull out of his bag of tricks, but you can bet your ass he’s gonna use it to pick a fight with Eliot. As stated previously, he’s basically the middle child, though I get I a little iffy on the expression right around here as it regards Parker. Since they start dating about mid-way through the series. But not in terms of his relationship with Eliot. Honestly, I see their dynamic as one of the big selling points of this show, and I fucking love seeing them interact with each other. One minute Eliot is literally threatening to kill Hardison over a sandwich, the next he’s punching the shit out of someone because they threw Hardison over the side of a building and NO ONE throws Hardison over the side of a building, godammit. Except maybe him. (His words, not mine)

And then Parker, first/last name unknown, the Thief. She is an expert thief who, fun fact, canonically has high-functioning autism. (Technically the producer or whoever said that she had Asbergers, but that was back when the first season was running, and during a time when the autism spectrum probably wasn’t really a thing, or at the very least not well-researched) She’s crazy. At least that’s how people keep describing her, but personally, I just think she’s neat. She’s actually my second favorite character. VERY close second. It fluctuates depending on the episode, honestly. (Btw I wasn’t joking when I said first/last name unknown. We know one of her names is maybe Parker. Is it her first name? Is it her last name? Is it even her name??? Literally no one knows, not even the CIA. It’s great. I love it)

And then of course there’s Nathan “Nate” Ford, the Mastermind, He was once an Insurance investigator who chased these four down multiple times and probably got them all caught at least once (though clearly not for very long). He’s the guy you see in memes with the galaxy brain playing 4D chess backwards. He’s smart, he’s an alcoholic, and his son died. A perfect recipe for a hot mess to play team dad with a newly formed found family.

These five spend five seasons ripping off mostly rich white dudes and eating the rich. (not literally. If that’s what you’re looking for, watch Hannibal. I’ve never watched it, but something tells me that’s a little closer to the whole eating people thing) They quickly became a family, pretty much, and had lots of fun doing it. Each of these characters were a huge part of why Leverage was as good as it was. However, before the revival series began, there had to be some changes.

Between Leverage and Leverage Redemption, there were some issues with Nate’s actor, Timothy Hutton, and due to those issues, the show runners elected not to bring him back for the Revival series. And I’m not gonna go into that because it’s not really the main point of this analysis.

However because of this, that left a huge, and very important, gap in the main cast. The Mastermind, the LITERAL reason these guys were brought together has now been killed off due to casting issues. So what is a team of writers to do in this scenario?

Surely they’re just going to bring in some guy who has the exact same skill-set as Nate, who is also ultra-mega-smart, who we just HAPPENED to have never seen during the five seasons of the show, right?? That would make total sense, wouldn’t it??

So the writers did exactly NOT that.

Instead, they got Noah Wyle, of the Librarians (another series that a lot of the producers and writers actually worked on) and cast him as a good bad lawyer named Harry Wilson. The kind of lawyer who’s GREAT at his job, however he was not helping the right people. Eventually he realized that he was in fact NOT the good guy, and decided that he was gonna screw over one of this douchebag clients by stealing a painting of his from a museum, on the EXACT same day that Sophie, Eliot, Hardison, and Parker happened to have decided to steal a painting from a museum to cheer themselves up on the anniversary of Nate’s death.

So they of course figure him out immediately, observe how he does this, and watches as he immediately trips an alarm and almost gets caught. After this, they decide to help their brand new Mr. Wilson screw this guy over, and after that, he joins the team.

Now, what does this add to the team, you may ask? The new Mastermind, right???

WRONG

Mr. Wilson is a good lawyer, but he is by NO MEANS a criminal like the rest of them. He’s inexperienced, a little naïve, overall just not a con-man like the rest of them. He does however bring a lot of legal information and fancy lawyer-y loopholes to the game, which proves to be pretty useful throughout the season.

But I know what you’re thinking. If Mr. Wilson didn’t replace Nate as the Mastermind, then who did??

Well, no one, really. Instead, the rest of the team stepped up and each started pitching in their ideas for the overall plan, with Sophie mostly taking the lead. And this is kind of the genius of how they handled replacing Nate. Instead of just bringing in some rando smart dude that we just never heard of or something, they bring in a new guy who covers a new skill-set that they didn’t have before. While he is the new Fifth guy, he is not JUST the new Fifth guy.

He’s the new guy. He’s filling in the place Nate left on the team, but he is by no means a replacement for him. He’s not the Mastermind, he’s the…Well, Sophie keeps calling him “Our Mr. Wilson” so I think that’s just his title. You’d think he’d be the Lawyer, but nah. So he’s not the Mastermind, and he’s not the New Nate Ford. And he never will be. Nope.

He’s the Mr. Wilson.

And btw I know I didn’t really address Breanna and how she actually more closely fills in the archetypical “Replace Character A with Character B who has the same skills” but that’s because one: This was mostly about how they handled Mr. Wilson. Two: I think her integration with the cast is almost flawless. I say almost because I miss Hardison. And Three: She also wasn’t a carbon copy of Hardison. She was less experienced in certain fields, but more experienced in others, and is also a Gen-Z kid who’s more than willing to fight the power. 

(I’m serious about Hardison though. Please put him in more episodes next season I miss him. Have them both, I would LOVE to have them both. That’s a new dynamic that I think would be great. They’re sitting in Leverage, tag-teaming the bad guys’ security systems, it would be awesome)

TL;DR: They had to kill off a major character but instead of replacing him with some random-ass carbon copy that we just somehow never heard of in five seasons, they brought in an actual new guy who covers a new set of skills, but also is very inexperienced regarding the field they work in, and instead all the veterans of the group help fill in the role that the dead character left.

Also if you wanna watch it but don’t care where to start, I have two personal picks for ”Episodes I show Someone to Introduce them to the Show”

First is Season 3, Episode 11, “The Rashomon Job”

Second is Season 4, Episode 12, “The Office Job”

They’re both very good, and are basically my favorites

(Edit: I was gonna put more recommendations in the tags but I guess today is the day I learn there's a 30 tag limit. Who knew? NOT ME)

[silverloreley]

I need a bit of a distraction right now so I’ll write a bit about the importance of keeping your head cool in emergencies.

You see, my mom is a panicky type, like, full blown jumping-to-conclusions assuming-the-worst, shouting “they’re dead“ type. My brother is pretty much the same, with the added trouble of not being able to hear/follow directives unless they’re very clear and repeated more than once (he was never diagnosed for any neurodivergence but I have my suspicions he may be in the autism spectrum or have ADHD, but that’s another discussion).

This means, in a crisis, you can’t really count on them being useful, unless you’re ready to deal with that with top-tier calm. Usually, that’s my dad’s job, he’s the one who manages to keep his cool in the house. Unless the emergency involves him, which means he can’t give effective directives due to a lack of objectivity.

Me? I have anxiety. Which usually means I am physically unable to be calm, I always think the worst, worry a lot and so on. But I do it in my mind. Which means 1) I am able to ponder on the possibilities and consequences and 2) I am used to disguise and somewhat control my panic for moderate timespans (afterwards I collapse, I’ll get to that later).

Anyway, panic is always your enemy. Jumping to conclusions and not keeping your head cool can lead to disasters even in daily life.

Which brings me to today. Actually, not even an hour ago (and the reason I need to calm down).

I was in my room when I hear my brother, somehow panicked, ask-shouting to know if dad is on the terrace. Mind you, my dad who was not home yet, to my knowledge. He heard my dad call, didn’t hear exactly what he said and jumped to the conclusion my dad must be on the terrace and needed a hand with something up there.

He was more than half wrong, but wihout listening and just saying us “dad must be up I’ll go see what is it“ he ran upstairs.

My mom, who knew dad couldn’t be upstairs because she has been near the entrance door and would have heard him go up, went to check the road to see if the motorbike was back.

And here the real Panic started. The first thing she did was shout my dad’s name, the immediate next was “he’s dead“ (you see, I wasn’t exaggerating, I almost had an heart attack at that). Cue her running downstairs, without telling me anything, without keys and, I assumed, without a clue of what may have actually happened or what to do.

Now, I know three things: 1) we live in a road with scarce visibility (lots of almost-incidents and I lost count of how many cats run over) and our driveaway has bad pavement, 2) my dad was out with the motorbike; 3) my brother heard him call.

Conclusion, my dad must have fallen from the bike, most likely with enough energy and wits to call for my brother, who, by sheer dumb luck today, had his window open and no music on. (and now I wonder why the nosy neigbour who is always at her stupid balcony is never there when something happens, she could have alerted us, damn it!)

In my mind I was deadly afraid of a bloody scene, but, here’s the trick, this allowed me to spare two seconds to gather my wits and grab my phone and the house keys, call for my brother that dad was down and not up and reach out.

Now, the thing was that the wheel had slipped on a stone, dad fell down with the motorbike on him and his leg was stuck underneath. In the time my mother panicked, asked frantic questions without listening to answers and generally did nothing useful, I had figured out the situation was not life or death (my dad was conscious and lucid), shut down the bike and I would have picked it up too, if my dad had not insisted I waited for my brother, who was finally getting to the right place.

Cue figure out what to do next. First thing first, get the bike up and safely away from my dad, then find out how he felt, maybe take some weight from him (backpack and helmet first. Shit, I have to buy him a new helmet!) and decide on it.

In all of this my mom is still in full panic-mode, shaking like a leaf, two steps from collapsing herself, which would have not being useful at all, while my brother, appropriately directed, manages to be a lot more useful overall with helping dad stand and stay up.

The shoulder has clearly something wrong, it really sticks out in a weird way, my dad starts refusing to see a doctor because he probably doesn’t realize how bad it looks. Needs water and to sit down, and perhaps it would be a good idea to call at the very least our physiotherapist.

We manage to get dad home because he needs the bathroom and to sit, mom finally had cleared her head a bit and goes get changed to accompany dad to the hospital, but she’s still in enough panic she’s frantic and blabbers and can’t find stuff and I have to leave my brother with my dad and calm her down.

And now they (dad, mom, bro) are at the hospital (where no one can enter but the patient, due to the still up Covid restrictions), while I almost collapsed myself once they got out the door.

Act first, panic later is the best strategy, but damn! it takes a toll on you. I’m still shaking, my legs are trembling and I received no news so far. Hence this essay-delirium-retelling or whatever.

[emoryinaboat]

Don’t be shy~ mess with your algorithm~ give different headcannons for like Sk8 or Luca~ /lh /j

This is not what I do here, but for you my love, sure~

SK8 THE INFINITY HEADCANON DRABBLES!

- Reki and Langa are PEAK undiagnosed adhd x undiagnosed autism couple, they go around thinking they're the hottest bitches in the McDonald's but like,,, they're just ranting way too loud about skateboarding and happy stimming-

- Reki's mum caters to Langa's cracked fucking appetite, she now makes dinner for like 9 people because no matter how much Langa objects she refuses to let him go hungry (even though he won't but shh she's doing her best-)

- Cherry has permanent hearing loss in his left ear because of the Smack, he is not above using that against Joe in arguments.

- When Miya is in highschool and Reki and Langa are in college, he moves in with them. As soon as Miya is moved in, Reki starts introducing himself as Miya's brother to every single guest Miya brings.

- Joe gives the best Christmas presents, I can't elaborate on this one but I imagine he puts a lot of thought and feeling into them and they're always perfect.

- Shadow does in fact get ready in his car. He does his makeup in the rearview mirror and he's allowed to look shit because it goes with his energy.

- Miya goes through a phase of showing up to S with whisker makeup on. It lasts for like a year and no nobody will let him live it down.

- Langa's a natural brunet like his mum but he's always wanted blue hair since he was a kid so she would use child-friendly hair dye from since he was like 5 and he just. Never wanted to change it-

- Reki cannot handle the cold but by god if he didn't jump at the opportunity to visit Canada with Langa and learn snowboarding (spoiler alert, he sucks)

- Langa actually had a pretty close friend group back in Canada which he still keeps in touch with and he was actually the Designated Straight because this kid just. Never knew what demisexual was (mlm demisexual Langa fight me.). Reki was really jealous when he found this out but then Langa introduced him to them and he found out that Langa talks about him like literally nonstop so he's fine now-

- Reki is a collector, he has a massive collection of old nuts and bolts that he finds on the ground that he wouldn't use in an actual board so he keeps in jars on his shelf. He also collects fridge magnets, allen keys, rocks and keychains.

- Cherry has his own table at Joe's restaurant, they never talked about it or confirmed it but it's always reserved for him. Does this mean that Joe actually serves him properly? No not at all, he makes Cherry wait like 45 minutes before taking his stupid order.

- Langa teams up with Shadow to give Reki a good bouquet only to find out that Reki has really bad allergies-

- Reki and Miya? Traumatized. As soon as Reki finally tells him mother what happens she sends his ass to therapy which is good. Miya's parents don't take it seriously at all and Cherry has a stern phone call with Miya's father.

- Reki and Langa don't actually kiss on the lips much, they just don't really like it. Prefer other forms of intimacy and skinship ✨✨✨

I was cleaning out my drafts and remembered this it's like a year old I'm so sorry-

[brahmsheelshireshusband]

🏳️‍🌈 - for the hyperfixation ask game

🏳️‍🌈 Do you have any HCs (lgbt, race, neuro etc. that are important to you?)

YES oh my goodness I do!!!

Im going with slashers (spoiler alert I will never write any slasher as being exclusively CisHet even if the content *seems* to be Heterosexual it is actually Heterosexual*

*Terms and Conditions may apply)

I HC all slashers to be bi or Pan at the very least! I haven’t delved into specifics for them yet bc most of the writing I do is self-indulgent and for Me and Me Specifically, but!!!

I do HC that Bubba Sawyer is pansexual and genderfluid! And they use she/they/he pronouns!! But he doesn’t really like. Think much about their pansexuality? Mostly because she doesn’t think that she’ll ever meet someone who will love her (all of her) so why does it matter? yes that is sad and YES I am definitely writing x readers where that is addressed bc. I love him. He deserves much love. I also HC that Bubba is autistic (yes this is blatant projection) and that she has a lot of physical/vocal stims! Like they will flap their hands and do the fluttery hand thing when excited or nervous and are almost always tapping!! Whether it’s her fingers or her feet, she taps bc she likes the repetitive noise.

personally I also HC that Brahms Heelshire is somewhere on the autism spectrum, again mostly due to me looking at him and going “ahaha, I do that!” But his need for a strict schedule to be followed and for there to be no changes to routine (or any guests, which would be Factors Outside of his Control and therefore Not Good) resonate with me a lot. I think that he thinks he’s straight, considering he’s implied to have only had lady nannies, but he’s… Not! One of these days I’ll actually publish some of my male reader stuff and y’all will see more of what I mean. I imagine he’s cis, but eventually very gender indifferent if that makes sense? I know there’s a better term for it I’m just drawing a blank at the moment. He probably has a few hang ups on how men should act (his parents are very old fashioned) but once they’re gone (and with the Reader’s encouragement), he would realize that the strict masculine/feminine dichotomy is stupid and he’s just going to act and dress how *he* likes.

The Sinclair brothers are the other slashers I really think about a lot!!!

Bo Sinclair is a repressed bisexual. He simply has That Energy. I know Louisiana men, and he is a repressed bisexual who firmly believes that he just “can appreciate the male form” or something like that. probably relates to Dean Winchester from Supernatural since the movie came out around the time the show began. I also think that deep down, he’s got some really bad issues with anxiety. And like. Bad claustrophobia. I have Many Thoughts on the Sinclair’s childhood after their parents passed, which will get revealed eventually, but it. Wasn’t good! Not for Bo, at least. I HC that he has OCD, and really gets stuck in the whole… I don’t know if it has a technical term, but I call it “cyclical thinking”. Basically, he’ll just get stuck on one thought and it’ll go around and around in his head, recycling over and over until he goes and checks on something (usually someone bc he has a lot of deep seated insecurities and regrets when it comes to his brothers) so he can put that thought to bed.

Lester Sinclair might not know what it means to be pansexual (because hey, that movie is set in Louisiana in 2005 and you just didn’t really know about that kinda stuff Back Then) but he is a giant pan man. Gender does not factor into his attraction to someone! He really just sort of assumed for most of this life that that’s how everyone felt! But when he got reunited with his brothers and started talking to Bo about this guy down at the gas station he was nursing a crush on, Bo let him know Real Quick that he needed to keep that shit on the Down Low if he didn’t want to get his ass whipped. not that Bo would hurt him! he’s just. He’s worried for his baby brother is all. Cause again. It’s Louisiana. folks around here are pretty homophobic, sadly. Especially toward men??? different rant for a different time lmao

Vincent… Vincent Sinclair gives me unlabeled vibes. He is an Artist, first and foremost, then a brother second, and that’s all he is. I think he falls in line with Bubba, in that he definitely isn’t straight but doesn’t really think about it since he knows he’ll never get a partner anyway. and while Bo is down for one night stands and quickies with strangers, Vincent Is Not. He just gives me the vibe that he’d need a lot of time to get emotionally connected to someone before he could become attracted to them romantically/sexually. And it probably doesn’t help that like, anyone who is remotely nice to him would confuse him. Is this a trick??? Is this another prank?? What’s happening. Why are you being nice. Vincent is confused. one day I’ll write some x reader stuff that’ll expand on this, or maybe just a Vincent solo thing where I pick apart his brain.

Ik these are hardly all the slashers but they’re the ones I’m currently the most hyperfixated on!!! I might come back to this later as I warm up to the other slashers more and get a better feel for their characters and my interpretations of them.

[youarejesting]

Key

Genre: [♤] = Angst                  [♧] = Adventure/Action  [♔] = Crack/Comedy  [♡] = Fluff  [❁] = Fantasy              [♢] = Thriller/Scary [☆] = Mature themes   [★] = Smut [➵] = Trigger warnings

Status:       [✎] = Projects             [✉] = Request   [✓] = Complete            [X] = Incomplete    [  ] = Coming soon       [∞] = On going

[Sitting in their/your lap]  ☆♤♡♔

[Saying another name]  ☆★♡♔ 

[Wearing their/your clothes]  ☆♡♔

[Fidgeting]  ☆★

[Getting your Period]  ☆

[Crying]  ♤♡♔

[Singing/rapping/dancing]

[Getting hard] ☆★

[Favorite part of you]  ☆★

[Thigh Riding]  ☆★

[Pregnancy Reveal] ☆★♡♔

[Perfect]  ♡♔

[Walking in on them]  ☆★♡♔

[Walking in on you]  ☆★♡♔

[Being walked in on together]  ☆★♡♔

[Significant other is CEO]  ♡♔♤

First time for them  ☆★♡♔

First time for you  ☆★♡♔

Honeymoon night  ☆★♡♔

Star Signs:

Star signs as [RunBTS] Star signs as [BTS songs] [Part 2]

[BTS Text Imagines]

[Bangtan Sonyeondan and the Purple Magic]

BTS go to Hogwarts 

[BTS Birthday - One Wish]  ♡♣️

[Kisaeng]  ♡♣️☆♔➵✎

[Mall Santa] NJxJMxReader ♡♔✎

[Cold]  ❁♤☆♢♧➵

[Lost Boys]  ❁♡♤☆♢♧➵

[The Check-up]  ☆➵ [A Very Bad Day]  ♡♤♔✉  [Soul Food]  ♡♤♔✉❁ [Jinnie]  ♡♤♔❁♧ [Side Dishes]  ♢❁✎ [Even the cake is in tiers] ♡♤♔❁♧

1. [Music is the spark that sets my soul on fire]  ♡✉✓            2. [Dance is the celebration of the flame]  ♡✉✓ [Baby girl]  ♡✉ [Bonnie and Clyde] Mafia au ♡♤☆♢♧✉ [Royal Pain]  ❁♡♧✎ [SEA]  ♡♤☆♧♔➵

[Feel Better]  ♡♧  [Blue Side]  ♤❁➵ [Steal my sunshine]  ♧✎ [I wish there were more good days] ♡♤✎

[Peace]  ♡✉ [Pizza]  ♡✉ [The bomb]  ☆♤♡♧♔♢➵ [Pandemonium]  ☆♤♡❁ [Namjoon the giant and his tiny friend] ♡♤❁ [Talk is Cheap]

[Death need no invitation]  ☆★♤♡❁➵  (same storyline as [Me and the ghost in number 23] but a one-shot instead of chapters) [Herb] [Herb.2]☆★♡♤♔➵ [Kitten]  ☆★✉ [Beach]  ☆★✉ [Wild space]  ☆♡❁ [Daylight]  ♡♤♔♧❁ [I Kendo it]  ♡♤♔♧ 

[Horror movies]  ♡♔ [Love Listening] [Part 2]  ☆★♤♡➵ [Stars]  ♡✉ [Dangerous]  ♡✉ [Um...]  ♡✉ [Like real people do]  ♡✉❁  [Video games] ☆★✉ [Salad]  ☆★✉ [Ramen]  ☆★✉   [Temptation] ☆★✉ [Mad]  ☆★♤♡♢➵

[I will wait (Some say)]  ♤♡ [Dude]  ♡✉ [Stretch]  ♡✉ [Icecream]  ♡✉ [Autism]  ♡✉ [Lap] Mafia au  ☆★♤✉    [Jealous]  ♡♤✉ [Actions Speaker Louder Than Words] [Part 2] [Part 3] ♡♤✎

[WAITING FOR YOU ANPANMAN!] ♡☆♔❁♧♤

Your life may be considered a little unsavory, but you would call it dangerously cozy. When a group of crime fighting young men put your plans on hold. Over run with criminals they work to protect the innocent and stop these malicious acts of violence.

[I’m Dead]  ☆★♤♡❁♔✓➵

Woken one night by memories of the past you meet a mysterious man on your balcony. He is cocky and charming and you find yourself swept up in something that is bigger than you can imagine. Why? Because he is death. And because your meeting is long overdue.

[Curse]  ♡♤❁♔✓

A modern-day fairy tale whereby seven young princes born under King Bang’s greed cannot find true love. Unless they break a special spell, called the ‘Bang curse’. In order to break the curse, Prince Seokjin must be loved by a ‘Blue’ blood, by a royal. That seems almost impossible when you have a pig nose. (based off the movie Penelope)

[Wash Out]  ♤♡❁♔♧✓

Taehyung and his best friend Y/N are Dolphin trainers at Wash Out; Marine Wildlife and Theme Park. When the nerdy marine biologist and resident veterinarian Doctor Kim Namjoon goes missing; the two friends form a ragtag team with Taehyung's rival Seokjin and a…. Fish?

[Midnight Circus]  ☆♤♧  

Traveling through the back alleys is the midnight circus. Step inside and fill your curiosity by gazing at the freaks of the night. IF YOU DARE.

[Family Secrets]  ☆★♤♡♔♧

Suga is a spy who threw away his name years ago. His latest mission requires maximum stealth he must find a wife, child and house. Taehyung aka 103899V is a child who has been the subject of extensive experiments and can now read minds, and you, you are a hitman. Each of you must keep your secrets from one another. A truly one of a kind family. (inspired by ‘Spy x Family’.)

[Choices]  ☆♤♡❁♔♧

Soulmate Au

[Quarantine]  ☆♤♡➵✓  ( ★ in separate marked chapters)

ALERT! The city has shut down!

While you happen to be visiting the BigHit building. The government puts out an Alert across the entire Seoul area. Banning anyone from stepping outside, while they disinfect the streets. But you aren’t alone, you happen to meet the international Kpop boy group ‘Bangtan Sonyeondan’.

[Femme Ft. BigBang, TXT, NCT, BLACKPINK]  ☆♡★♤♔✓  

(Femme is french for female. I mean NO offense to any of my fellow LGBTQIA+ community when I use this term) The Year is 3019. Some Females (Femme) were preserved cryogenically in an effort to prevent extinction. Using Elite computer algorithms a Femme is matched with her Male applicants to find the perfect match. Male applicants are usually selected whilst in school and housed together to create trust before they are matched with their femme. It is common for a Femme to be paired with 3-5 applicants due to the shortage and the compatibility between each. But you, you have 7.

[Me and the ghost in Number 23] ☆★♤♡❁➵✓  

(the same storyline as Death need no invitation just extended into chapters instead of a one-shot)  Moving into your new apartment on the dance academy campus, you hear is haunted. You practice your routines with the ghoulish resident in the second bedroom. Things get heated, except you know ghosts are cold. so…

[Witching Ft. Monsta X]  ☆♤❁♧✓

After your brother goes missing, you find yourself in Seoul with nothing but a prosthetic limb as the only clue to what might have happened. Circumstances lead you to a coven of seven handsome young men. But they happen to be a well-known coven that goes by the name ‘Bangtan Boys’.

[Tiny Tan - Limited Edition]  ♔❁♧♡✓

It is your first time buying proper merchandise, there are new chibi figurines and the first person to order will receive a limited edition set. But what happens when BTS have gone missing without a trace and a few days later you receive your package. The box says congratulations, you open to find your limited edition figures, they look so lifelike. OH WAIT! it’s cause they are.

[Light it up]  ♔❁♧♡☆✓

In Bightville there is never any nonsense, the scariest thing one might face is tripping at the roller-disco. But, when you move to the small town, crazy things start to happen. Suddenly people are going missing without any leads. It’s when your neighbour Seokjin goes missing that things get serious because now his friends suspect you!

[BTS Among Us] ♔❁♧♡♢☆♤➵✓

You have a crew of 11, well now 10. The captain has been killed. Whatever it is doesn’t appear to be human but from the evidence you gathered, whatever it is, is pretending to be one of you. Who is it and why?

[BTS 365 Prompts] ☆★♡♤♔❁♧➵✓

Seven boys. Seven days a week. 365 prompts. Find your birthday and read your special prompt. (feel free to use them.)

[MANIA]  ☆★♤❁✓

At eighteen everyone takes a blood test to find out their blood types. A, B, or O. Each blood type represents the person’s secondary gender Alpha, Beta or Omega and can be Dominant (+) or Recessive (-). When small thin Yoongi receives his letter he doesn’t expect A+. He knew there was no way he was an Alpha especially not a dominant.

[Hope in the Sheets]  ☆♡★♤♔➵

You held many titles: his neighbour, colleague, wingman… well, more likely a wing-woman, yet most importantly, you were his best friend. You had been friends since you were born. Between the two of you, you were younger; barely, but he never let you forget it. He always seemed to ruffle your hair and tease you, which could get rather annoying but he made up for it by treating you to things. What if a drunken one night stand between you and your best friend Hoseok leads to more complicated situations? Your reckless twenties are cut short as you find yourself suddenly responsible for something a little more.

[Sly like a... ?] ♧♔❁♡♤X (☆★ in seperate marked chapters)

Human’s strive to be better, faster and stronger looking to animal DNA. Thus Hybrids are born. As the rise for designer and Pedigree Hybrids increase, so do the failed attempts. There is one species scientists are unsuccessful in creating, but, folklore says they have been here all along, hiding and blending in with the humans for many millennia. How clever they are.

[Sparks of the Heart]  ☆★♡♤♔❁   

In a world where Humans live alongside humanoid computers. They can download software, use the Internet, send e-mails, or receive calls. A learning software helps mould their personality, habits, and knowledge, to make life much simpler. They must stay charged up in order to continue working properly. But there are a small few that are changing. Feeling.

[Seoul Mates]  ☆♡★♤♔∞

Finding your Soulmate is one thing trying to keep them in Seoul another. The Bangtan Boys each have a different Soulmate mark. Follow their journey to discover their other half.

Story request OPEN!

[BTS Asks]  ☆★♡♤♔➵∞

You ask, they answer.

[Jodo-Myeon National School of Magic]   No set storyline or story format.

[Incarceration]

The world's craftiest criminals held in the most expensive and elaborate prison. What do they do to capture your attention? 

[regrettablewritings]

My Bad Batch Season 1 Finale Thoughts That Nobody Asked For

Spoilers aside from the obvious alert: I actually didn’t mind it

Now, admittedly, this is probably because I’m not a Crosshair stan. If I’m being honest, I actually don’t mind Crosshair as much as I probably should. But my stance on him is more towards neutral-to-appreciating-him-as-a-character.

That being said, most of what I’m gonna blab about is gonna surround the ongoing Crosshair situation (in no particular order) because that’s what we’ve been left with and what most of the fandom is currently up in arms about.

Unrelated, but because I am a fake fan, I never knew Kamino could ever really be sunny and calm. In a weird way, it was a beautiful juxtaposition against something so . . . sad. Like, they finally reach the Marauder at daybreak and after everything they’ve gone through, the storm is gone. It’s calm. Which makes all they’re about to do all the more deafening in a sense.

As stated before, I actually didn’t mind the finale. Was it anything crazy? Not really. My heart rate definitely picked up constantly, but it was admittedly coming from how hyped up the feeling of “anyone could die” was. When I realized at the end that nobody was going to die (yet), I started calming down.

But in-between all that, my emotions were in constant combat with me understanding (or trying to reason out) everyone’s arguments going on.

I see people upset with Wrecker for victim-blaming Crosshair, and I get that -- to a point. Yes, Wrecker knows how the chip works and should be one of the ones most empathetic to Crosshair’s supposed lack of control. However, this only stands to a point. Remember, if Crosshair’s telling the truth (which . . . we’ll get to later), then that means that he was really not responsible for his actions at first. If the chip really had been removed a while back, then his actions up to that point were something he could be held accountable for. I think those parts were the actions Wrecker was referring to, not the whole damn thing.

In a way, I do like how Tech approaches the matter. It’s admittedly stiff and could easily come off as hurtful if used by the wrong person, but it suits how Tech’s mind works and frankly reminds me a lot of myself in how I approach certain, more emotional matters. Admittedly, this is because I read Tech as autism-coded, so maybe that’s why I’m more ready to accept his stance?

. . . Actually, you know what? No: I like Tech’s stance because it’s clear cut and just plain facts. Tech knows his brothers more than what he’s probably given credit for, and his point is correct: You needn’t agree with someone you care for just because you can understand their points. There’s a ton of scenarios that are ethically questionable at best that I can understand the reasoning behind while also recognizing them as potentially morally reprehensible. Black and white are only reached through a spectrum, and it’s not an easy spectrum to traverse. That being said . . .

The other common argument I’m seeing is about how the fighting amongst the original four Batchers (specifically Hunter and Crosshair) seems to go against their whole brotherhood thing. And I’m just gonna throw my two pennies into the ring and weakly say . . . not quite. I’m gonna admit that I may be splitting hairs and trying to make a bundle but I feel like in such a high-intensity situation, it makes sense for neither side to be yielding.

Both sides are hurt: Crosshair is dealing with abandonment and feeling like his brothers “just aren’t getting it”, and as far as his brothers are aware, he’s either been trying to kill them or has been trying to willingly go against what they thought they stood for. Is it the most sensible situation? Not really. But emotional things rarely ever are.

That being said, nobody in the Batch is really all that emotionally mature or aware, though. And I think it’s very easy to forget that sometimes. I don’t know if it’s got to do with the fact that they’re soldiers, that they were rapidly aged and thus didn’t have time nor the environment to healthily explore such issues, the social isolation they more or less experienced due to being different from reds, or what, but it ought to be remembered that Omega is the most emotionally stable of the bunch. Everyone else is sort of just stumbling and trying to reel in what they’re feeling and how to express it without necessarily having the proper tools or experience to do so.

Also, let’s be real: You’re not as pristine as you think. If you were in a similar situation where your loved one seemingly betrayed you, tried to kill you multiple times, then brought you back home to convince you to join the very people who tried to hurt you guys in the first place, only to reveal that they’ve been intentionally working for them for a good while, you’d be hurt at the very least. And when you’re hurt, emotions fly around like a bat stuck indoors: It’s lost, confused, afraid, and in unfamiliar territory so it flails around, aimlessly looking for a way out even when those around it are trying to help it.

Let’s talk about this chip before I forget what I wanna say. I’m disappointed they didn’t bring it up. I need answers just like every other bitch in this fandom because . . . I dunno, I just don’t believe what he says. Something doesn’t quite add up. Or maybe it’s just because deep down, I want to believe he’s good; just difficult. Most likely so wrapped up in his purpose that the thought of being without and having his life all been seemingly for nothing admittedly frightens him. That’s something actually pretty interesting for a guy like Crosshair, considering he wears whatever heart he has beneath at least three fishing cable knit sweaters.

I just would’ve liked some acknowledgement of it -- even if confirmation that the chip was really gone the entire time would’ve hurt me. Like, Omega couldn’t give a knowing glance when sitting in the dark of the Batch’s barracks and say something like, “You know, it’s not too late”. Or, if it was gone, Hunter outright telling him that he knows he’s lying. (Because, like, given Hunter’s abilities, he arguably could be like a human lie detector a la Matt Murdock.)

Granted, it could be something explored in season 2. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, though, in the event Filoni and crew decide once more to paint me up like a pretty clown and parade me through the square. But in all seriousness, if the chip’s presence or absence confirmation is meant to be an actual point of discussion, I don’t think it’d necessarily be a bad thing for it to come up later. I mean, people were theorizing for ages that Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond. And we still stayed watching SU and pretended to be surprised when it got confirmed.

I do think how the group parted ways could’ve been more, as it was emotional but in all the wrong ways. But my constant need to compensate and make excuses for things also flared up. Should the Batch have been more reluctant to leave Crosshair once more? Probably. But they were also probably just done with all this and really took that revelation about the chip to heart, realizing that all they can really do is let him choose. And since he chose the Empire, there’s really only so much energy they could keep exerting. Reminder, these guys are kinda like children and dealing with a very personal situation that they kinda just lack the emotional awareness for.

Am I disappointed in Crosshair’s decision? Of course I am. But I’m not surprised and I understand why he, as a character, would do it. I understand why everyone does what they do, and this just aligns with how stubborn Cross is and what he’s already made clear to his brothers: By serving the Empire, he could still have a purpose.

. . . Or can he?

Okay, maybe I do care about Crosshair more than I think I do. Because we know he’s going to get off Kamino somehow, and it’s most likely going to be through the Empire, yeah? Immediately, my thought was, “But . . . they might kill him. Or at least attempt to.” After all, he let the Batch go. Even if he lies about it for their sake, the Empire will eventually learn the truth. Hell, just the fact that he seemingly let things get out of control before the decimation of Tipoca City could get him a one-way ticket to an execution. Though . . . Crosshair, beyond his skill set, is still a profound soldier: He’s still a competent fighter. Who knows? Maybe this opens up a possible escape scene involving stealing a blaster? Who knows! I love a good fight scene regardless of my feelings on a character!

Though, given his expressions, there’s honestly a good chance that even though he’s willing to lay in the bed he’s made, it doesn’t mean he won’t miss the others. You can make a decision for yourself and stick with it while recognizing the accompanying sorrow.

Though who knows? You could even argue that he may feel in too deep and is just sticking to his guns (no pun intended) because of it. Like he’s clinging to the concept of purpose even at the cost of losing one thing he knows (his brothers) because he feels stuck on the other thing he knows (being of use to a higher power). There’s frankly a lot that could be discussed here but don’t get me started.

But I digress. I get why the Batch left. I get why Crosshair wanted to stay behind. Yes, it could’ve and probably should’ve been a bit more emotional regardless of how tired everyone probably was of everything because this is their brother. Whom they’re parting ways with once again, and there’s no telling when they’ll see him next and if that next time, they’ll be his targets once more.

(But I think that may be giving too much credit . . . One of the other complaints going around that I firmly agree with is how not enough characterization for Tech, Echo, and Wrecker was given for most of the season. They were more or less boiled down to their specialties for gimmicks than given much to say or do besides when thrust into action scenes. This is honestly probably why I really liked Tech voicing his own personal stance on Crosshair: It’s the closest thing we’ve gotten all season to how he feels. The closest we got from Wrecker was him admitting to missing Cross, and Echo never really says anything on the matter at all to my recollection. [Admittedly, Echo is the newest member and thus doesn’t have the years the other three do under his belt, but surely by now he’s formed some sort of opinion on the guy he’s done at least eleven missions with!])

It hurts regardless of how you feel or whose side you’re on because you know something about this isn’t right, whether it’s because you know they do care for one another but have to part ways, or because they both made decisions that you just didn’t want them to make. It sucks but things like this (and by “this”, I do mean something more along the lines of familial or even platonic conflict, not having your home blasted to kingdom come in a whole imperial plot your brother was somewhat tied to) are never cut and dry. If they were, things would be so much simpler. But if they weren’t, we wouldn’t have as many stories, painful as they are.

I’m not a big supporter at all of creators taking advice or story ideas and cues from their fans via Twitter and other social media. But what I do hope is that Filoni and crew do a bit of a stronger job at approaching these very emotionally-driven subjects next season, rather than just letting them fall to the wayside until it becomes convenient. Not saying that filler episodes or breathers are a bad thing, they just seemed to take up a lot of this season. Though who knows, maybe they’ll come back into play specifically because of what the Batch did. (You know, in this particular show. I already know some of these guys appeared in other SW shows . . .)

Overall, I think I’d rate this episode 6.5/10. Nothing crazy, but nothing terrible. I probably could’ve just waited until normal people hours to watch it instead of setting an alarm for 3am, but I’ve definitely spent my witching hours in worse ways. If anything, though, it left me melancholic. But, hey, there’s a season 2 on the way. I know the saying is that there are no happy endings in Star Wars but . . . hey, if people can believe in Crosshair, I’m allowed to believe in a happyish ending. I suppose, in a way, it’s kind of like a sunny, stormless day on Kamino: Never thought they existed, but they can eventually happen after much strife.