#and then it fucking does every time.
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this is the first year since i discovered miracle musical where the mind electric HASNT been in my top 2. congrats to my weird fucking obsession with pink floyd
#i was expecting blackboxwarrior > one of my turns > keep talking > the mind electric > suburbia overture#(it was gonna be fun i was gonna make a joke abt how all my music is abt people with mental health issues)#but APPARENTLY i listened to COMFORTABLY NUMB the most?????? i swear i skip that song at least half the time it comes on#i just hear it so often... good song though#AND FUCKING BROKEN CROWN BY MUMFORD AND SONS IS 11TH. THIS is a song that has been doing its best to play AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE for YEARS now#i cant remove it from my playlist bc its kind of a roulette for me now. you know? like oohhh i hope broken crown doesnt play!#and then it fucking does every time.#i skip ot frequently. spotify is rigged.
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I'm literally so obsessed with the fact that Shang Qinghua and Shen Qingqiu married the most extreme versions of each other
like, I'm pretty sure that people have already brought this up, but Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe have the same, "I'm just a little guy, you wouldn't hurt a little guy, would you?" pathetic, pitiful, crybaby aura (even though Binghe is a lot more selective with it lol)
and Shen Qingqiu and Mobei-Jun are icy beauty, rich, dense, spoiled brats that both go insane over (1) pitiful hamster man (for different reasons, but still)
I feel like if they didn't fucking die and get transmigrated, they could've had a cute assholes to assholes but lovers arc :<
#svsss#shang qinghua#shen qingqiu#moshang#bingqiu#blorbo#cumplane#ily shang qinghua 💞#he could have been a B tier sugar baby#instead of pimping himself out he'd pimp out his writing lol#not that he wouldn't mind 👀#for his Shen-gege♡#or maybe his Shen-didi would be funnier#shen yuan would be oblivious to the homoeroticism ofc#“why does everyone think we're fucking?” he would ask#while also paying for Shang Qinghua's bills#and living together#and loudly arguing over sex acts in public#and making out every time they get drunk#and and and#shen yuan: professional kissing the homie goodnight-er#just bros being bros
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As much as i love Dungeon Meshi, i do think that given Ryoko Kui's attention to realistic worldbuilding there ought to be a companion series called Dishes Meshi where they spend 2hrs washing and drying and packing away. Alll the goddamnfuck dishes they just made
#EVERY TIME i make something even slightly fancy for dinner im like#HOW ARE YOU WASHING ALL THOSE DISHES IN A DUNGEON ?? DO Y'ALL REALLY ONLY USE 1 BIG PAN?? HOW?#where is Chilchuck being like 'jfc Laios‚ you couldn't have let this bowl soak while we made the gyoza?? now it's all dried on...'#where is Marcille going 'Ok gang. We need to stop somewhere soon to wash each of our 2 outfits. and our 173 dishtowels'#On second thought maybe Marcille just does it all with magic which makes me mad fucking jealous#if this is already covered somewhere in the Adventurer's Handbook or the later manga chapters I'll feel real dumb but Ah Well#dungeon meshi#i am attacked by hundreds of crows
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day 24: plagued by the horrors ♡
(femslashfeb prompt list)
#minifemslashfeb2024#heathers#heathers the musical#heather chandler#veronica sawyer#chansaw#I love my girl veronica. she has every illness#every illness meaning being a teenage girl with repressed rage#you know how it is with teenage girls with repressed rage#that is JD's hand but this ain't about him#this month has just been me drawing ghosts basically#I THINK IT'S FUNNY IF YOU SEE IT AS CHANDLER HAUNTING HER AND JUST BITCHING AT HER CONSTANTLY#hey veronica! you fucked up! hey veronica! you fucked up! hey v#veronica does really go through it though.#IS THIS MY FIRST TIME DRAWING HEATHERS?#WELL THERE YA GO
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are. are you telling me that if the romanced mage warden dies and alistair is king, he deadass stares greagoir down over her dead body and grants the circle of ferelden its autonomy after ordering it rebuilt somewhere safer. first you have to deliberately leave him behind so he won't die for you and then he does that for you once you're gone, even when you're broken up??? absolute and literal king behaviour of the highest order????? the actions speak louder than words of it all??????? I think I hauve covid
#that's the hottest thing I've ever heard I feel nuts#what an absolute chad alistair continues to be tbh there may be a day when men fail but it will not be when he's here#like I'm very sorry to the blond chantry boy repeat crowd but cullen could & would NEVER!!! they are NOT the same!!!!#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#alistair x warden#can u imagine what it must be like to be irving standing there watching this happen. you're free and your kid is dead. congrats#tried to free her from the circle and she's the sacrificial lamb that bought the circle's freedom instead. fuck dude#it does make for a very sad kind of symmetry that every time irving tries to get clever with it he triggers a monkey's paw situation fhdskj#I am replaying the game with my new canon (mistress amell + king alistair to save him from the da:i fade choice lol)#and in doing research I found out about this and had my world rocked. I've never had my warden die before so this is new to me#(my warden isn't dying in this canon to be clear she's going to be the reason no one would dare assassinate king alistair lol#nightmare bae eminance gris behind the throne/loving and supportive partner with a fade connection and a vengeful side#she's going to be like sam vimes tiredly fending off assassins as the watch books go on except she murders a lot more people back)#the way his voice breaks in the version where they were broken up tho... sick and twisted and mean to me specifically
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i've peaked i fear 😔
#this is the dumbest fucking thing ive ever spent time on. whatever. idec i love it#i might start a little mini series where i turn my favorite episodes into fake comic covers#or maybe my faves from every season...but thats like. 16 pieces soo maybe not that#its always sunny#iasip#the nightman cometh#fran does art
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english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness
#so the part of the book where kid hua cheng suddenly sits bolt upright#because he senses something in the room#and this 7 year old is just 👁️👁️ and radiating immense killing intent#hes so fucking funny 😭#i love him being weird and strange and offputting#‘dianxia why does the high schooler that hangs around your house sometimes have glowing red eyes and know things he definitely shouldnt#and crush things into dust with his bare hands and seem to hate the sun an-‘ mind your own fucking business#drawing baby hc was so much fun i hope i do it again soon#the secret is that xie lian is JUST as deeply weird as his husband but in a less obvious and threatening manner.#guy who has to keep his internal monologue internal because he is thinking things like “wouldnt wanna get choked by those hands!”#out of every god character he is the one who seems to have changed the most from immortality#dying presumably hundreds of times and being alone for hundreds of years does something to your brain#“xiao hua why does your cultivator talk weird and wear the same clothes and eat the same food and-” HE IS AUTISTIC!!!! AND JADED BY THE#PASSAGE OF CENTURIES!!! YOULL NEVER KNOW WHICH IS WHICH!!#my art#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#art#tgcf meme#mxtx#天官赐福#lmao#hob#heaven official's blessing#the people have spoken...
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Smart & funny caption
#my art#artwork#crow does art#digital art#legends of avantris#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#ouaw twig#twig toadspring#ouaw frost#ouaw hootsie#ouaw gricko#ouaw kremy#ouaw gideon#kremy lecroux#gideon coal#gricko grimgrin#morning frost#hootsie grimgrin#grimmorning#I FUCKING FORGOY TORBEK#im doomed to forget one person every time.. sigh
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As per usual, it’s DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms
ANYWAYS
A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. It’s very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costume—listen, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothes—and his slightly I’ll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.
The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kid’s clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kid’s mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.
“Did you manage to show him your costume?” the hero asks.
“Yeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.”
Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, but… it sounded like…
The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. “Momma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesn’t get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!”
The kid’s mom just smiles. “We could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet he’d like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.”
The kid wrinkles his nose. “Like Vernie with the pizza bagels?”
“Like your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpa’s garden…”
The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didn’t ask anything further.
Not that the hero didn’t want to. But they’d learn something very serious.
One—there was a small town hero they’d never heard of. Two—that hero was apparently a teen. Third—most pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.
This… might require some phone calls.
#dpxdc#danny phantom crossover#meanwhile Danny. sitting on a giant marble slab that has the most ridiculous gag gifts a ghost could ever ask for#he’s just like Oh Sweet Cinnamon Rolls!#he would try to convince people to bring him nasty burger but while val has MOSTLY gotten over her vindictive anger at Phantom DOES decide#that she’s gonna be petty and add cilantro to everything#because Danny has the cilantro soap gene#jokes on her he’ll still eat it#Danny likes his little memorial in the grave. it helps settle him sometimes. also he’s gotten to know the security guards for the cemetery#they’re fun. a bit morbid. they LIKE his jokes so you can stuff it JAZZ#MEANWHILE the hero. Whomstever they are but like 90% of you are thinking either batfam or Justice league#are having just. a TOUCH of a crisis#now they gotta figure out where the kid and his mom are from without either of them figuring out#dealer’s choice on what the GIW and why Amity Park isn’t on the radar#I’ll add my two cents bc when don’t I but I’m by and large not like… dictating this? anyways#I like making the GIW just a BIT more incompetent or just having some massive flaws as an organizational group#so they keep forgetting to tell people to not LEAVE and to keep quiet#average amity Parker if the GIW tried this anyways: aw that’s cute. anyways-#and if it’s dc I guess you need to figure out how the jl never found out. so#i mean there’s a LOT of heroes and cities in dc#and amity park is just lost to the noise or. bc Fenton bad luck#every time Danny tried to call. the jl had some insane disaster and or their systems were down#he eventually figured he might actually be cursed- jury’s still out on that -and he’s saving lives by just handling it himself#he can handle rhe metaphorical mega thunderstorms if it means he doesn’t accidentally summon a fucking tsunami to hit the planet ya know?#the kid and the mom have no idea that what they said was Odd#they are just so used to it. amity park already was using death puns and had an. interesting history and relation with death#even BEFORE there was a dead kid flying around in his white gogo boots
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something. about. the horror of being sent on an impossible (death) quest and obligations and hospitality politics. the trauma of not having a home, and then the trauma of being in a house that becomes actively hostile to you, one that would swallow you whole and spit out your bones if you step out of line. all of this is conditional, your existence continues to be something men want gone.
it's about going back as far as I can with the perseus narrative because there's always a version of a myth that exists behind the one that survives. the missing pieces are clearly defined, but the oldest recorded version of it isn't there! and there's probably something older before that!! but it's doomed to forever be an unfilled space, clearly defined by an outline of something that was there and continues to be there in it's absence.
and love. it's also about love. even when you had nothing, you had love.
on the opposite side of the spectrum, this is Not About Ovid Or Roman-Renaissance Reception, Depictions And Discourses On The Perseus Narrative.
edit: to add to the above, while it's not about Ovid, because I'm specifically trying to peel things back to the oldest version of this story, Ovid is fine. alterations on the Perseus myth that give more attention Medusa predate Ovid by several centuries. this comic is also not about those, either! there are many versions of this story from the ancient world. there is not one singular True or Better version, they're all saying something.
Perseus, Daniel Ogden
Anthology of Classical Myth: Primary Sources in Translation, edited & translated by Stephen M Trzaskoma, R. Scott Smith, Stephen Brunet
#perseus#danae#komiks tag#long post#every other week i start to say something about how greek heroes are a good case study in diaspora and exile trauma#but man perseus makes me so sad. so does danae. she loves her son :(#perseus turning a whole island to stone is a huge mood. i would also do that if i were him#anyway (salutes) take care everyone i gotta watch yunho's new video it looks like a fucking movie im so excited#(i singled out ovid bc i remember the fucking shit perseus discourse that ran through this site. i remember#im preemptively loading a gun and pointing at it before it can touch this post#it hasn't died out either i see it on twitter all the time in the most ANNOYING ways possible i am TIRED#esp bc they're actually doing medusa a narrative disservice like congrats! you made it worse! stop telling me it's better!!!!)#ancient greece tag
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“I wish I had two Guillermos. Then you could have one, I would have one, and then the two Guillermos could become friends or even lovers. Then I could say, like, ‘hey Guillermo, go fuck yourself’ and then he could do that”
Nandor what the fuck????
#does he have fantasies where Guillermo fucks himself?#is that what he imagines every time he says that???#what a freak#(affectionate)#wwdits spoilers#wwdits#wwdits tv#what we do in the shadows#nandor the relentless#wwdits nandor#nandor what we do in the shadows#nandor x guillermo#nandermo#wwdits season 6#wwdits s6
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i like to imagine peeta going around exclusively introducing himself like “hi, i’m katniss’ husband” once they’ve had their toasting even though they are equally recognisable to every single person in panem
#he doesn’t give a fuck#he just wants to introduce himself and his greatest achievement in the fewest amount of words possible#also he’s smiling so hard every time he does this that his face is in danger of splitting in two#everlark
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When you said that the unluckiest person is most hopeful, it reminded me of Nagito Komaeda. If the universe were combined, do you think he would fair well having Anti Cosmo as his anti fairy?
Funnily enough, I feel like it would be Hajime who would have an anti-fairy companion. I mean, he’s surrounded by extremely skilled people! That would attract bad luck in some way for him. Nagito wouldn’t be good food for anti-fairies. Or Fairies. Or Pixies.
...Honestly, Fairies aren’t quite sure what food he produces. It’s like a weird amalgamation of luck, desire, greed, and all sorts of emotions they can’t disentangle. Like a crockpot gone horribly horribly wrong. Eating any bit of that would make any fairy sick.
Eugh. The hell is wrong with that one.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop anti cosmo#anti cosmo#danganronpa#nagito komaeda#hajime hinata#asks#itty bitties fop au#this man has been haunting me for. TWO weeks now.#nagito komaeda get the FUCK out of my inbox#GIT#GIT GIT GIT!!!!!#i guess we doing danganronpa now#i dont think there's any fairy that would put up with whatever the fuck he's got going on.#although the fucking. idea of fairies and danganronpa existing in the same plane is pretty fucking hilarious.#i can just imagine hajime's day getting worse and worse#like. imagine showing up to school. Nope. not school. a fuckgin BEACH. and some fuckgin RABBIT shows up and does weird shit#even worse you go to your room and there's a blue bitch in there.#well. i guess it gets even more and more worse what with the killer bear and the friends killing each other thing#but hey! at least you got yourself a weird blue fucking thing that only you can see!!!#and it keeps taunting you every time you do something cringe. and wont even bother helping you with ANY of your investigations.#and nobody has any fuckign idea what youre saying !!!#well except maybe gundam tanaka.
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whatever happens, please don’t break
#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i don’t think of that one interview and this quote#does anybody have it word for word? please? i’ll pay you#literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering#i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk#will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each other’s light in the darkness.#DO YOU UNDERSTAND#bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals#paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion#THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK#i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential#but some of you aren’t ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic#also i’ve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when it’s with kunikida what’s up with that 💀#and sorreyy i know their height difference isn’t THAT big but i didn’t realize until i was halfway into the coloring 😔💔#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws
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Source - nekogaki0324
(Artist's Patreon Fanbox and Gumroad)
#gay furry#gay furry pecs#gay furry bulge#gay furry pits#gay furry death lobo#artists twitter above#he does this every time he wants to lure me in to fuck me#and i fall for it every time!!! my nose is simply a magnet for balls taint and pits#i simply huff the junk like an inhaler#i simply huff the pits until i pass out
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headcanons of a
hibiscus-loving boy ♡
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☆ requested by anon — my daisuke headcanons.
★ a long sfw & nsfw headcanons list with one-shot segments of solo! daisuke scenarios to start off the new year 🥳. [4,721 words]
☆ gen tags: fem! reader but reader isn't in his life (yet). the sfw takes place on earth and the tulpar, while all the nsfw is on the tulpar. before the crash (except it is mentioned in one headcanon). daisuke & his relationship with his parents. daisuke is single but very much wishes he could mingle. bits of silly stuff because it is daisuke, after all. someone please date him already... swansea is so sick of listening to him rave about "hot babes."
★ nsfw tags MDNI: malesub. dry humping objects. semi-public masturbation. daisuke uses a vibrator & flesh-light individually. mommy kink (as expected) and puppy kink (only mentioned though). lots of yearning for his dream girl and fantasies of women in general. (could it be you? 🫣)
[anon, thank you so much and i hope you liked this! on another note, i'm working on a long fluffy daisuke x reader oneshot, so you guys will get that wholesome content eventually. also, i forgot that daisuke was probably canonically bunking with swansea but... for the sake of this and daisuke's dignity, he gets his own room lol. —iris🌠]
sfw.
★ earth.
this isn't a set headcanon of mine, but i like to think that daisuke is a japanese and filipino man who grew up in hawaii but doesn't go home to his respective countries often. when he does, it's always a long catch-up with his large extended family, whom he misses dearly.
he gives off the energy of a single child solely raised by his first-generation immigrant parents, both of whom want the best for daisuke's future but struggle to show that in a constructive manner.
he has a relatively solid relationship with them, and their arguments are still within the realm of what is expected of families. however, there's a degree of emotional distance between him and his parents, especially with his mom who's a bit firmer on daisuke's education than his dad, who still cares about it just as much, but he's more reserved compared to his wife—the outspoken of the two.
with how they both work full-time and how he grew up with a vastly different upbringing from them, daisuke doesn't feel as close to his parents as he thinks he should. sometimes, they don't understand him, like his incessant love for thrifting and doodle-drawing, and sometimes, he can't understand them, like their insistence on getting him into an ivy league college when a public university works just fine (according to him).
daisuke is much more fluent in tagalog than he is in japanese, which his mom pesters him to study more, fearing that he'll struggle to pass down his knowledge of her lineage to his future kids properly.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"tch, and how will they know how to speak to their obaachan, hah? it's not that hard to practice every morning, dai-dai." his mom sighs, one hand clutching the strap of her kinkachu bag while the other held a bottle of olive oil.
daisuke withheld a groan, grumbling to himself before responding, "i knowww, ma, i know. i'm just busy, okay?" his forearms fold over the trolley's handle, bringing his chin to rest on top of them.
she glares, "busy playing with your gameboy? you call that busy?"
without consciously intending to, he rolls his eyes, then swiftly snaps them back in place. cringing at himself as he purses his lips, a pathetic whisper of sorry leaves his clenching teeth.
before he knows it, his mom is scoffing. she squints at him with her brows furrowed, her gaping mouth quirking to one corner, and shakes her head in disbelief, bee-lining to the next thing on their grocery list.
"eh?! mama, i didn't mean to!" daisuke quickly splurges a cacophony of apologies as he pushes the cart, trying to keep up with his mom.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
other than that, his parents genuinely love him, as much as they begrudgingly listen to his endless rambles which they barely understand because of how all over the place his retellings can be.
daisuke always finds ways to interject his current story with another story that relates to the initial story, which he must explain in excruciating detail, or else they won't get the references he'll make when he continues the first story! so they just sigh and nod their head. (it's even worse for his dad when daisuke starts using english slang that's far too modern for his head to translate in real-time).
his parents have considered a second child. however, the financial burden, emotional weight, and physical pain from vaginal burns or cesarean scars that they'd have to repeat were too much. one sugar-charged chatterbox of a kid was enough for their lifetime.
daisuke wasn't always sure about what he wanted to do in life. his mind had always been glued to his dreams of traveling beaches around the world, flirting with pretty girls with a piña colada in hand, sifting through vintage pieces, and finding a girlfriend who loves him enough to want to do the same! but even then, he didn't know how to get to that point. of course, the simple answer was money, but how he'll get that money was what spun at the forefront and lingered at the back of his mind.
though, this is daisuke we're talking about, he's sure this'll work out one way or another!
"girls like smart guys, right?" he'd ask himself as he browsed through a leaflet listing all the STEM subjects his mom had circled in neon red ink. daisuke's eyes drift to the arts and humanities page, wincing at the sheer lack of majors highlighted on that side—it was next to none. save for architecture, which his mom suggested he should try because of his drawing hobby, but, truth be told, it was just a hobby for him.
he loved the freedom of art, especially doodling. it was a space for him to explore whatever wacky design popped into his mind. he'd look at a simple object, darting his eyes to several others, and merge it all into a story of sorts. whether it be a turtle-pig fishing for sentient crackers on a wooden boat or an intergalactic wasteland where sweets colonized spices, it was his favorite pasttime. so, the possibility of having that be ruined by conforming to another person's rules and regulations wasn't for him.
he once suggested studying fashion. assorting clothing pieces, designing looks, and learning its history was a genuine passion of his, but one look at his parents' faces was enough for him to quickly drop it.
daisuke has fixed cars in the past—not fully, but he's helped his dad and a couple of neighbors for some extra dough, and has managed to learn a thing or two.
he was pretty good at math and physics, preferring the latter of the two because he actually got to apply that math into scenarios much more interesting than 'find the radius of a hemisphere of volume 80 cm^3.'
so, when daisuke's mom learns of pony express' last-minute aerospace mechanic internship, she's ecstatic, excitedly telling him to prepare his resume because her son is going to space! after all, her boy got the brains for it.
daisuke genuinely looked forward to this opportunity as well. however, funnily enough, he was terrified of outer space. though he was weirdly okay with the unknown depths of the ocean, the galaxy? that was a different story. at least, if he were drowning in the sea, there was a higher chance of him surviving than choking out in space. he shivered at the thought.
nonetheless, daisuke focused on the positives. "holy shit, what if there are alien beaches with hot ALIEN babes?!"
[future iris here! i'm not exactly sure if i agree he would be chill with being sent to space as much as i did before? i think i'd rewrite this into something a lot more nuanced where he has many mixed feelings. there'd definitely be an argument between him and his mom, but he'd try his hardest to come to terms with the fact that this is a good opportunity for him (as reinforced by his parents, mainly his mom), and because of daisuke's naivety and incessant desire to impress, he would eventually be okay? at least delude himself into believing he's okay with it despite how much being thrown into the galaxy for over a year would do something to his psyche... damn you know what, i'd actually like to explore that more in a future fic!]
however, his cv wasn't all that impressive by pony express' standards. so, out of sheer desperation, his mom used a couple of her connections to secure that spot for him, but daisuke doesn't know about this. he thinks his smarts alone got him the job.
she's so adamant about his education because she fears for him, like any parent would. she doesn't want daisuke to suffer financially the same way her and her husband did growing up—it was her nightmare, actually. so, hopefully, with enough prayer and preparation, this will benefit him greatly. (oh... if only she knew).
before his space trip, daisuke's dad treated them all to a 5-day family holiday out in california, letting daisuke choose most of the activities, aka revel in his inner child via arcades and amusement parks. he actually made 2 friends, both in separate places, who'd accompany him whenever his parents got too tired from walking or couldn't bare the insane waiting lines (which was 90% of the time).
his dad had been secretly saving for this ever since daisuke was a kid, wanting to give his son the best birthday an 18-year-old could ever want.
while they've gotten richer over the years, his dad constantly struggled to feel secure in their wealth, feeling as though they could lose it at any time like his family had back then.
★ the tulpar.
upon arriving, daisuke didn't realize that he was a very late addition to the team. he noticed a slight hesitancy in everyone, which made him feel awkward, but in classic daisuke fashion, he shrugged it off and tried his best to get on everyone's good side.
(he definitely vomitted in his mouth soon after take-off).
daisuke quickly befriended everyone. the easiest was curly. he was the captain, after all, and the friendliest and handsomemest boss he'd ever met. even though it was pretty obvious that curly initially tensed at the lack of proper planning from pony express' end, he soon forgot it when daisuke eased into the crew just fine, impressed with how optimistic he'd been.
then, it was anya, who was a little quiet at first, but when she got used to his chipper nature, she had no trouble giggling with daisuke. she's glad to have someone other than curly to have fun with during their game nights, and even curly wasn't the easiest to play with because of how frequently he'd doze off in between turns, drool already dripping down his light beard. so, daisuke was a massively fresh change. he was energized and dramatic, passionately involving himself in the game and sneakily cheating whenever anya was getting a little too close to winning.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
curly called out for anya, asking where she had put his sleeping medication. anya lifted her view off of the board, her finger still holding her chin, and turned to curly, whom she gave instructions to.
daisuke and anya sat on the ground in front of the lounge couch, which swansea sprawled himself on—arms folded over his belly—as he dozed to sleep, his quiet snore growing louder by the minute. daisuke looked at anya, who was now bantering back and forth with their captain, and a mischievous grin inched up his cheeks.
with a very "inconspicuous" whistle, daisuke swiftly switched the positions of her queen and his bishop, shifting his eyes everywhere to ensure no one had seen the evil he'd done.
as anya's laugh died down and brought her focus back to the game, she moved her knight to somewhere on the board, not noticing the changes. then, as ego fueled his chest, daisuke took out her king.
"check and mate, anya." he proudly smiled, flipping his hair. he flicked open his fingers and spread his arms away from the table, figuratively dropping an explosive as he mouthed a boom.
"WHAT?!" anya exclaimed, her brows knit up her forehead as she scrutinized the chess pieces.
swansea snorted awake, startled by the sudden noise. "hah?! oh, what...? wh-what happened, where were we?"
bemusement painted her face when she realized what had happened. she pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes at the cheater and pointed at daisuke, wagging her finger, "you did something, didn't you?"
daisuke stifled his laugh, remaining nonchalant and poker-faced as he shrugged. "i have no idea what you're talking about."
anya and daisuke just "argued." anya flailed her arms at the monochrome pieces, while daisuke found it increasingly hard not to burst into chuckles.
swansea lifted his back off the sofa, his spine resounding with a loud pop. in his neutral grumble, he said, "looks like daisuke won fair and square to me." then he went back to napping, flopping his neck onto the headrest.
anya was gagged, feeling like she'd gone crazy, so, daisuke finally cracked and cackled, falling to his side as he smacked the floor with tears in his eyes.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
surprisingly enough, it was jimmy with whom he got on good terms with next. well, good enough terms with. they rarely ever talked. their conversations were limited to offhand encounters if they were the only ones near each other, where daisuke asked simple things about his life, followed by jimmy's cold hum.
so, as to not make things awkward, majority of what they discussed related to the tulpar and its workings. (jimmy secretly enjoyed it, though, feeling like he was more important than curly because daisuke would go to him for these types of questions, besides swansea. even though, the reality was that daisuke liked curly way more for how much he could joke around and still found room for professionalism.)
then, there was swansea. daisuke's favorite person, and his one and only mentor!
it felt nice for him to hang out with someone like his parents, except he was more wrinkly, irritable, and meaner than them. sometimes swansea's jabs can sting, but daisuke knows he means well. (then again, daisuke feels that way about everyone, and he's not sure whether that's a good or bad thing.)
despite his clumsiness and how often his mind drifts off to fantasies of breathing in tropical air with bikini-clad ladies surrounding him, he's learned so much from swansea.
it's not just about mechanics, but about life, his experiences and what all the good, bad, and ugly mean to him. without giving too much away about what he's been through, daisuke still managed to infer a couple of things.
albeit, he can be hard to understand. while swansea's advice is straightforward, he is in a descriptively convoulted way. so daisuke could only fully process it when he's lounging on the couch with swansea, taking in every word and, for once in his life, shutting up—which has only happened a couple of times, but hey, who says daisuke can't maneuver his way for more?
he hopes swansea will write him an extensive letter of recommendation and not mention all the times he's given him the wrong wrench, that one foam incident, or his ramblings of how he lowkey highkey wants to be a model, to which swansea would slowly blink at him for.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
"you want to be a model? for what?" swansea inquires, standing with crossed arms as he watches over daisuke adjusting a screw.
"well, you know, for fashion! getting all dressed up n' stuff, my picture being taken as i pose for the camera." daisuke momentarily stopped twisting the bolt and posed for swansea, smoldering as he folded his arms, definitely not imitating the old man.
swansea just rolled his eyes and told him to get back to work, putting his hands in his pockets instead. "so why'd you pick fixing metal junk instead?"
daisuke paused, ruminating on his following words. "i dunno, my parents want me to be an engineer, which is, like, super cool and all! and i do want to be one... it's just, it'd be nice to try other things i'm good at and see where they'll go, you know? you get me, right, swansea?" he went back to fidgeting with the pipe.
swansea stood there, softly nodding to himself. "i mean, they have a point—torx, kid, not hex," swansea pointed at the other screwdriver in the toolbox next to daisuke, "they don't want you risking unstable work and have no means of supporting yourself."
daisuke ate his lips, and swansea could see him grow smaller by the second. he sighed, "but, i'm not saying that you can't pursue that. you should, at some point, but my daughter's done it before, and she says it's not an easy world—"
"she's done whAT?!" daisuke brightened, nearly dropping the screw in his hand.
"did you even hear a thing i said?" swansea frowned, instinctively crouching down to cup his hand under where the bolt almost slipped.
daisuke nodded, "yeah, yeah, i know, but that is so cool! omg, can she hook me onto some agencies? does she know any? please, swan—!"
"slow down, kid..." swansea unintentionally chuckled, pulling the tool in daisuke's hand back to the pipe. he shook his head and actually smiled, albeit small. it nearly made daisuke even more happy than he was about the news.
"look, like she said, it's not all fun and games but it is possible to be successful. you've just got to be serious, like you should be..." he taps on the metal, "...here."
"okayyyy..." daisuke heaved, defeated by the present realities.
there was a beat of silence. swansea stretched his neck from shoulder to shoulder and spoke, "...but when we get back to earth, i'll try talking to her, 'kay? now, finish up; you've already been taking long as it is."
daisuke excitedly bobbed his head, saluted him, and returned to his task.
★ extras.
daisuke secretly holds 'runway shows' in his room, walking from one end to the other as he stuns his imaginary audience with all of his hawaiian tees.
no one knows this, but he often draws himself with his dream girl (aka you, heehee). there are so, so many pretty portraits of her. you can truly see the effort he's put in these with every graphite stroke and his smudged fingerprint dented into the paper.
brought so many rings and earrings on board, only to wear the same ones every day 💀.
he enjoys a lot of music genres but predominantly loves pop. i like to think that the game takes place in the retrofuturistic 1990s, so daisuke listens to a lot of sir mix-a-lot and backstreet boys. he probably plays 'livin' la vida loca' on repeat when he's cleaning up foam with swansea.
would not be surprised if he has played every pokemon game on his gameboy.
his sleeping quarters are near swansea's, so... you can imagine how quiet he needs to be when he "relieves" himself (which makes the nsfw section even more embarrassing for daisuke, lmfao).
nsfw.
when daisuke finally realized that he would be alone.. in a room... in a spaceship... for a year... with no parents there to barge in, he tried so fucking hard to hold back the devilish smile crawling up his mouth (think knee surgery grinch). oooof course, he was going to abuse the living shit out of this freedom.
as told by swansea, daisuke "only thinks with his downstairs longnose." so, it's safe to say that he frequently masturbates, to no one's surprise 💀.
however, he needs the physical visual of something to really get off. he can still cum without it. but, as much as daisuke enjoys his fantasies of paradise, it takes an excruciatingly long time, and it never feels as good when he orgasms.
(if mouthwashing took place in our year, he definitely gets super turned on by nsfw audios. stuff like 'F4M gentle mommy praises you' would absolutely be his go-to genre.)
so he brought a portable tv and vhs player, secretly stashing all his favorite porn mags and cassette tapes, along with some new ones he's been dying to watch. the majority are vanilla, with a few bordering on bdsm, a couple of threesomes (it didn't really matter to him if they were FFM or MMF), and solo girls touching themselves as they tell him to follow their instructions, but a lot of them had an overt femdom feel, save for a few.
he tends to jerk off really fast and struggles to pace himself in a way where he doesn't greedily let himself reach his high, so closing his eyes as he listens to porn helps him extend that to a little close to 20 minutes. otherwise, this guy is done in maybe under 4—7 if he's lucky.
(unsurprisingly, he once came in less than 30 seconds from just teasing his tip. he got so embarrassed that he hid himself under the covers, shoving his face into the pillow, for being so pathetically easy).
even then, he can go so many rounds. when there's nothing much to do on the ship, and everyone was too involved in their own business to pay attention to him, he's had a few times where he used 3 of his 5 resting hours just jerking off back-to-back.
no matter how he toys with his dick, he'd always end up an adorable whimpering mess. he was naturally sensitive; pools of pre-cum would easily drip out of his tip after a few strokes, and his thighs would involuntarily shudder with each pump. however, that meant his moans would become so unbelievably loud that his whines could carry through the thickest of walls—unsurprisingly, very in-character for daisuke.
so he's grown used to muffling his mouth moments before he cums. either his palm pressed over his panting parted lips, or he'd resort to smushing his face into his pillows whenever it overwhelmed every inch of his body.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
daisuke lay on his side. with one hand tucked under his cheek, gripping strands of his hair, and the other vigorously milking his cock from base to tip, his half-naked body trembled on his bed. the patterned covers sprawled away from the beaded sweat rolling off his inner thighs, and all that filled the air were daisuke's desperate, high-pitched gasps.
a rising heat inched within his abdomen, and his wrist spasmed as every jerk reached speeds unbeknownst to him. daisuke pathetically attempted to smother whatever incoherent mewls escaped his throat, biting down on the skin of his lightly chapped lips, but it was futile. he was starting to lose it.
so, he rolls. he rolls his face into his pillow and props his knees on the mattress, brandishing his ass in the air with his back arched towards the tulpar's metal ceiling.
hoping he's suppressed himself enough, daisuke began whimpering out loud, cushioning his cries as he touched himself as fast as his slippery penis would let him. a list of curses fled his lips as he tried visualizing someone hover over him, grabbing hold of his drenched dick, pinning his head further into the pillow, and whisper sweet nothings into his ear.
after a couple of twists of his tip, he finally spilled all over the bed, his drool following suit. his cock twitched upwards, lathering bits of his cum all over his stomach, and with one final huff, daisuke dropped himself onto the mattress, sighing into its warmth—too dazed to notice the subdued thumping of footsteps beyond his door.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
he hasn't gotten the opportunity to have sex yet, nor has he charmed anyone enough to get his dick sucked or touched, but he was very close to it!
once, at a party, daisuke got to make out with a girl from his last year in high school, but this guy would not stop talking after each kiss. all that came out of his mouth were the awkwardest of one-liners and rambles full of compliments. while he thought it was cute, the girl quickly got annoyed. after a few more heated swaps of spit, she left the closet they were in, and daisuke just stood there, embarrassed, stuffing his face in some random person's sweater.
though it was only one failed (but he likes to think it was successful) make-out sesh, he loves the act of it so much. the feeling of a girl pressing him up against the wall, no matter how tall or short she was, clutching onto his shirt as their tongues deepened. the thought of their crotches sliding against one another got him all hot and bothered.
but, admittedly, daisuke wished she stayed (not necessarily the same girl in particular) because he loved the idea of him yapping continuously about something as she touched him more and more, latching her teeth onto his neck as her fingers rubbed circles on his bulge. he'd falter, his words blending into an incoherent whimpery mush as she lifted up his shirt and made her way down his collarbone.
oh, how he fantasizes about receiving and giving hickeys. he'll abide by how his dream girl would want to be bitten down, but he wanted to be marked.
daisuke's always been super into teethy indentations on his stomach and darkened spots scattered all over his chest. so he's practiced on his forearm, watching his saliva coat his bite, imagining how prickly it'd feel on his neck. but what he loves most is its meaning, how it symbolizes that he belonged to a girl and she belonged to him. it always made him feel warm and gushy inside.
lowkey feel like he enjoys dry-humping objects. if he sees a soft enough edge with ridges all over or a pillow that's looking softer than it should, he's rutting his clothed dick against it. but because of that, he gets incredibly horny when he starts focusing a little too much on the corner of any table.
anya once had to snap him back into reality after he intently watched jimmy put his back against a particular part of the kitchen counter. daisuke's face flushed, remembering last night.
he had to take his time thrusting his wet bulge against it. standing on his tip-toes, swaying his hips like a seesaw, as he grips the bottom of the counter for stability, for he was losing it. the way his cum would build up was so different from jerking off. it felt like rushing water pushing against a dam, but it was slow, like waves on a shore inching closer to his feet. this would make him cry, and he'd constantly moan in hiccups, short bursts of suppressed whimpers because of how much effort this took. however, he makes sure his mess stays in his pants. so, when he does cum, it would only paint a large stroke over his boxers as his semen dripped all the way down to his knee.
daisuke brought a vibrator and fleshlight on board, which he bought using some of his earnings from the cars he fixed back on earth.
he fucks his fleshlight like a rabbit when topping, depriving himself from all thought as he picks up the pace. but when he's bottoming, he starts lifting his legs off the ground and spreads them in the air, sending his brain over the moon.
when he tried the vibrator for the first time, it's like he entered a whole new realm. he fantasizes being on his stomach, arching his back with his ass in the air, his dick dangling in between his thighs as a girl mercilessly presses a vibrator up against his parts—cumming a messy puddle into his sheets. even though he could still do it on his own, the thought of anyone on laundry duty questioning the large wet stain was too embarrassing to bear.
it's ironic, considering how much he's into risky semi-public quickies. when he gets so pent up in the middle of organizing tool boxes and listening to swansea's rants, he will excuse himself to go to the bathroom. swansea would just roll his eyes and go, "yeah, yeah. do whatever you want, kid. just don't take forever." whether or not swansea actually knew what he was really doing, daisuke will never know—and, frankly, he'd much rather not.
he'd play with himself, alone. running to the tools closet with his back against the door, hand shoved into his boxers, his slick coating his palm as he clutched his shirt, using it as a fabric muffle for his shakey moans, revealing his heaving chest and hardened nipples. his eyes squeeze shut as his eyebrows knit in ecstasy.
(when the crash happens and he's forced to sleep in the lounge, he often scurries away to empty areas around the tulpar when swansea is too drunk out of his mind to notice daisuke's random disappearances.)
while he's not exactly sure where his mommy thing came from (don't look into that too deeply), he really indulges himself in it. he likes to re-enact his sexual scenarios when he touches himself, saying his lines out loud as if the person he was imagining were with him. he'd whine for mommy to let him cum, and when he got real close, he'd call himself a good boy like it were a mantra.
do you guys think he might like being called 'puppy'? i think it's very likely. he reads as the type of person who thrives off praise and massively enjoys any petname a person could give him.
i think he fantasizes about a bunch of women using him instead of him using women, which is what horny guys his age probably think of more often. but no, daisuke finds it so fucking hot to be used like a toy by more than one person, not knowing what pleasure he'll feel next.
but he's unsure if he would actually like that to happen in real life. sure, it gets his gears going, but he knows he'd be good with his one and only (hypothetical and future) girlfriend doing whatever she wants to him.
[i'm not sure if anyone could tell, but i got pretty lazy towards the end 🫠 if there are any scenarios that you want me to expand into single one-shots then feel free to request! so far, i have two other reqs and 3 original works, so it might take a while, especially because i have irl things to work on. —iris🌠]
#🌠 leads to my masterlist#i dont think these are all my headcanons but i'll save some for later one-shots#oh fuck i forgot he does baseball#OOPS#daisuke mouthwashing#daisuke x reader#mouthwashing#mouthwashing x reader#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#btw i posted this before and it was so glitchy??? every time i saved the line break would push itself down#if that makes sense#and tags were not working 😭
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