#and then in the ep he shows up in the last 5 minutes and punches the guy out

[obstinaterixatrix]

near the end of the world domination arc, it’s so fun I forgot so many details. what’s that!? IT’S REIGEN WITH A GUN!!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Everything Went a Bit Weird Allasudden

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

BL OLYMPICS! Week 2

I'll be passing out metals in various sporting events, as part of the weekly updates (through mid August) just for funzies.

Aug 2024 Week 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) eps 11-12fin - THE STAIRS ARE BACK and now they’re evil! Frank is truly great. He's out acting everyone else, but I'm just happy to see him pine. OK yes, the ending wasn’t awesome but I still really enjoyed this show. 

In conclusion: (deep breath)

This was a sports romance Thai BL pulp with everything I could have asked for given this sub genre. More, actually, since MeenPing are both great basketball players and the team component really did form part of the connective tissue of the show (vital in a sports romance). Meen has his shirt off within the first two minutes which is all I needed but he's still pretty great as the sullen secret keeper against Ping's cheerful survivor - childhood sweethearts torn asunder and now reunited. Then Frank sweeps in to give everyone a bad case of second lead syndrome. I always try to judge BL for what it is AS BL, and what it’s trying to do within its own territory and purview. This did exactly what it claimed on the tin: gay boys play b-ball and fall in love. That was all I wanted from it. Sure there was random kidnapping and a light bought of mass murder, but what’s a BL in 2024 without a touch of the mafia? You do you little pulp, I’m disposed to be pleased.

Thank you, Rebound, for being exactly what I wanted. Is this gonna be anybody else’s favorite BL of 2024? Probably not. But there is a real good chance it’ll be mine. Is it perfect? No. But for me, it got as close as a pulp can get, so I’m giving it 9/10.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 9 of 12 - Them being boyfriends is so damn adorable. Like PondPhuwin I think I could watch G4 just be boyfriends for 16 eps and not fuss about anything in life. They're my emotional support pair brand. Back to the show:

My goodness Atom is such a frenetic high strung babygirl. He is a near constant emotional pingpong.

Gold in Table Tennis

K is a teenage saint. The lights thing, and the hands to head (reminiscent of certain previous characters from this pair), all made me coo and laugh. 

However, this ep was mostly about the hets. It’s always funny to me when the gays have their shit figured out in a show but the hets are in chaos.

Also they're touted as "a teacher and a baker" but they're playing the gay dads of this narrative and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. More gay dads in BL!

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 5 of 8 - I’m just gonna say it, because no one else is, this pair kisses like they’re in a Taiwanese BL. There’s no other way to put it except there’s a whole body genuine interest and enthusiasm to the way they do physicality that’s comparatively rare in Thai BL. This kind of on-screen sexual maturity is my favorite, especially in grown-up characters like these. The side couple = awesomesause. JJ is a very appealing character. He hates Methas, he likes him, he loathes him, and also... he definitely wants to see him naked. 

All praise aside? I have questions about why half the hair in this show is so absolutely ghastly. Like bad enough for Japan. Enough of that now, Thailand. Tut tut. Cut cut. Style style. Please & thank you?

Then again who cares when we get...

They already won silver last week, but I guess they're going for

Gold in Weightlifting

Century of Love (Weds Gaga) eps 7-8 of 10 - Well THAT is an interesting take on a Faen Fetale. As expected, a somewhat doomy ep 7. I did enjoy the doctor punching San tho.

Bronze in Boxing

Meanwhile, that camel jacket is a sin against all things, especially Daou. But I eventually got a crying kiss. I love a crying kiss best in the world. Next week looks good! But I miss my nine tailed fox nod. Will we get back to that or was it just a brief weird thing?

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 5 of 12 - It’s kinda great actually. The romance is the only bit that isn’t really hitting for me. Gun’s smile at the "oppa" is so adorable. His little dimples.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - I really do not like the pet name in this one. Khun Dad is too weird for me. But I do think their relationship is ridiculously cheesy and endearing in a terrible way. These two are the equivalent of that couple that always speaks in baby talk. It’s a good thing they’re pretty because they’re not so bright. Wait! No Christmas music in my BL! That's far too weird. 

Bronze in Diving

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 3 of 12 - I’m liking this a lot better now. It’s still a little slow for me but since the bullying has stopped relatively quickly I’m not as upset as I was. Also, look at those eyes, our P'Seme is IN LURV. That said, I’m not wild about the sudden suicide plot line. That feels... weird.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) - TutorYim are back and so far this is better than Middleman's Love - but that's not saying much. For a second there I thought they were going to open on the REAL blindfold scene from Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. But then I remembered that that’s more Mame than anyone else. On a completely different note, I do like this pair. And I’m willing to give them ever more chances. That said this is very, I don’t know, weird? I’m not sure what is happening, and I’m confident that’s not my fault. I hope it makes sense eventually.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - Peak's dad is so completely frustrating and kind of psychotic. It’s annoying to watch. So I spent most of this episode upset. I'm glad he came around in the end but it was a lot, mostly unforgivable, from this side of the screen.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 8 of 10 - It's committing the greatest sin of all (in the realm of entertainment). It's mind numbingly dull. I'd sooner be offended than bored. Trash watch

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I don’t remember the camping trip from the manga, but I really enjoyed it in this series.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - The bit with the kid was cute but I’m still finding this rather slow and the central relationship unappealing. I think the balance of power has to shift for me to engage, and I don’t see that happening anytime soon.

It's airing but...

Bad Guy (Korea YT) - yeah, erm, no thank you.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - OMG a uni student who looks too young and a... COP. GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. Please SOMEONE pick this one up?

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) - A rich boy at uni suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I have a source, but I've decided to hold off and binge if it ends okay, since it's only 8 eps. I depend upon y'all to tell me how it goes.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - it's your funeral (or, more likely, one of the main characters'). You can argue but... statistics. You know my feelings on this matter. MY BLOG, remember?

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!!

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming Up This Month!

8/6 Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) 8 eps - office romance around the makeup counter featuring a younger seme and sexual blackmail. I'm intrigued. DFTUJ (don't fuck this up, Japan).

8/8 Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) 12 eps - I am so DAMN excited to see Big finally lead a BL. I can't even with this, one of my most anticipated of this year. He's a great kisser ya'll, he's kissed a lot of boys as second lead. I can't WAIT.

8/12 First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) 12 eps - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan stars Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn tean. I can't wait. With thier powers combined!

8/13 Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues YT) - supposedly Jinlo with air this on their YT channel. Stars August (Love Sick) so I'm excited despite Jinlo's poor reputation. From the trailer it looks like it's following the original pretty closely just Thai style.

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

Addicted Heroin (Thailand adaptation) is also supposed to release this month. GIVE IT TOO MEEEEEE. I don't care about anything else but August back on my screen. It's been almost a decade since he did BL.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

This is the kind of jealousy I like to see. Boys getting pissed about the stupid stuff.

Also, more counter making out. I'm not complaining, but babies the bed is way more comfortable.

All from Long Beans.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

Sports in Play (the jokes write themselves)

Boxing

Breaking

(That's Not) Cricket

Diving (yes, for that)

Fencing (yes, with those)

Handball (exactly what it says, no, read the word.. again)

Rhythmic Gymnastics (obvs)

Squash (snicker)

Surfing

Swimming

Trampoline

Table Tennis

Weightlifting

Wrestling

[hellhousellc]

gonna try to explain all my feelings after watching ep 5 of the second season of tsitp stay w me...

so okay first of all i am a jeremiah girlie from day one but i have to say that man can NOT narrate in a compelling way to save his life... and all the close ups of him staring at people silently with the voice over in the background... giving demonic miley

but ANYWAYS onto the actual like... drama?

FIRST OF ALL am i the only one who remembers conrad telling belly that jeremiah seemed to "be okay" and that he "moved on" and "was dating people" ???????????? WHERE LMAO he clearly was pissed off and if you maybe would have cared enough to visit more than once and actually have a conversation with him instead of just asking if it was okay to date the girl he loved and then fleeing out of there you would have noticed?

like actually that's the part i hate the most about the show. these two teenagers were in the process of losing their mom and decided that it would be a good idea to just fuck it all up between each other and with their closest friends for shits and giggles?? and no adult had anything to say about it? they even supported it? and everyone around them was silently letting them ruin their relationship for a teenage romance??? kay????? jeremiah literally threw a fucking firework like super close to conrad and belly's heads PLEASE IS THERE ANY ADULT IN THE ROOM RN????

because like, i get crushing on the same girl. i get it you're teenagers hormones or whatever. but what person would actually like care so little about their siblings to SEE how heartbroken they are and still persue a relationship with their love interest? and not only that but also lie about how said sibling feels so the relationship can happen (since the love interest didn't want to hurt them so they were keeping their distance) and then be all lovey with said love interest in front of their sibling and act all shocked when the sibling tries and set boundaries???? you're in college bitch time to grow up!!!! you're dating a 16 yo that your brother is in love with you weirdogo listen to olivia rodrigo she says it all

but anyways that being said let me tell you that i was trying to actually like remember how much screentime conrad and belly had as an actual like pairing. not belly pining after him and him acting all moody and disgusting (= the entire first season) but actual content about the two of them forming a bond and strenghtening it. there's none of that. first few episodes we see belly with cam cameron and jeremiah and like maybe 2 minutes of interactions with conrad, and the last few ones he finally decides that she actually exists but still fucks up every single time.

and then in the second season we get their whole like weird romance during the year where he (18 yo college man) goes to her (16 yo) house and takes her away (without her mother's permission) to the beach where they proceed to have sex :) so fun! (at this point i'm BEGGING for some adult supervision) and he treats her like shit the rest of the time and acts like being with her is a burden and i KNOW his mom was dying but then just break up??? she's not your punching bag??? and then she acts SO OUT OF PLACE at the funeral they are so toxic it's infuriating!!!!!!!!!

meanwhile we see jeremiah being there for her again and again and giving her the teenage romance she (16 yo!!!!!!!!!!!) deserves and being happy and making her happy and all she does is hurt him like did you REALLY need to break up with him the same night he FOUND OUT HIS MOM HAD CANCER AND WAS DYING? and not only that but tell him you CHEATED ON HIM WITH HIS BROTHER????? (who was also unaware of their relationship)

but then after all of this jeremiah still tries to move on and steps up for his family because his older brother was too busy stuck in his own head and fucking a minor to actually care about his dying mother and his teenage brother and would only appear when he wanted to i guess hurt his brother even more by shoving his relationship with belly on his face????

and jeremiah still goes and looks for him when he decides that the best thing he can do after showing clear signs of depression is disappearing months after their mom died without giving his brother a clue or at least letting him know he's safe

so now jeremiah has to face not only his shitty brother but also the girl who broke his heart and she has the neeeeeeeeeeerve to try and start things with him ONCE AGAIN????? AND ACT SHOCKED WHEN HE TURNS HER DOWN?????????????????????

i'm having such a hard time y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't even get me started on steven "i'm in love with my girlfriend and treat the girl who likes me like shit but wait my girfriend broke up with me :( and the girl who likes me moved on and has a new boyfriend now :( i need to get her back on track IMMEDIATELY and make her obsess over me AGAIN or my dick will fall off :(" whatever his last name is

ALSO and last one stop hating the boys' cousin just because of their gender you WEIRDOS and their mom is actually right??? she has no need for the house it's only a waste of her money and if conrad and jeremiah's father is a shitty man who cheats on his dying wife and won't give them the only thing that would make them happy (and it's their money so fuck you they can do whatever with it) (and i'm sorry but am i the only one who's catching on the fact that she's clearly communicating with their dad and is not making any choices alone?? like she obviously tried and failed to sell the house to him because he's an ASSHOLE and made it abundantly clear meanwhile she's doing what she can with what she has) then maybe take it out on him and not on a woman who is doing nothing but what's best for her and her family by selling a house that holds a lot of trauma for her okay??? okay

[newmusickarl]

5-9’s Album of the Month Podcast – Episode 5 Out Now!

The latest episode of the 5-9 Album of the Month Podcast is now available! As ever I take a seat alongside 5-9 Editor Andrew Belt and Check This Out’s Kiley Larsen to review five high profile album releases from the past month in music, and ultimately name one as our Album of the Month at the end of the discussion.

For our May review episode, the five albums discussed are:

The Love Invention by Alison Goldfrapp

My Soft Machine by Arlo Parks

The Last Rotation of Earth by BC Camplight (Poll winner, thanks for voting!)

Everything Harmony by The Lemon Twigs

Lullabies From The Lightning Tree by Sad Boys Club

If you want to listen to the latest episode simply click the link below, but also be sure to follow 5-9 Blog on Instagram and Twitter for more news and polls relating to the podcast, along with other great content like film reviews, sports articles and more.

Listen to the May 2023 episode here

Learn more about the Album of the Month podcast in my interview with Left Lion here

Album & EP Recommendations

But Here We Are by Foo Fighters

I’ll be honest, aside from The Colour and the Shape and their underappreciated double album In Your Honor, Foo Fighters have always been more of a singles band for me. However, with this eleventh studio album arriving in the wake of Taylor Hawkins’ tragic passing, as well as that of Dave Grohl’s mother who also sadly passed away in 2022, I must admit I was intrigued to hear the start of this new chapter for the band. I’m glad I checked in too, as But Here We Are is easily the best Foo Fighters record for decades.

With Grohl back behind the drum kit as well alongside his usual roles of singing, writing and playing guitar, it is a record that understandably walks the fine line between rage and sorrow as he channels his grief into this neatly crafted batch of ten songs. Recent single Rescued opens proceedings, with Grohl emptying his raw emotions following Taylor’s death onto the page and into the music. As his anguished vocals growl over the wall of guitars, it’s hard not to be moved. Under You will then have you even more choked up, as Grohl sings “Pictures of us sharing songs and cigarettes, this is how I’ll always picture you.” And even though the gut-punch lyrics are masked within some upbeat melodic punk, it still hits hard.

That emotional punch is ultimately what makes this album much more impactful than the last few by-the-numbers Foo Fighters records, however the songcraft is also to be commended here. Hearing Voices is an instant standout, with hypnotic, swirling guitars eventually fading away into black during the final 30 seconds, leaving just Grohl’s pained vocals singing “Speak to me, my love” atop an acoustic guitar. It’s a goosebump-inducing moment, with Nothing At All then bringing the rock power Foo Fighters are known for back into the mix with its anthemic chorus and amped-up guitars. Some of the best moments on the record are then saved for the final stretch, with Grohl’s heartfelt collaboration with his daughter Violet on Show Me How a definite highlight, as well as the album’s 10-minute long, fury-filled centrepiece, The Teacher.

Having read a few reviews, it’s easy to see now why this album is receiving so much acclaim. Fuelled by tragedy and the pain of loss, it is Grohl at his rawest and most sincere, making for one of the most engaging records Foo Fighters have ever released. But Here We Are comes across as a therapeutic exercise for the grieving rock giant and you can’t help but feel the sharp tug on the heartstrings throughout, what with Taylor having been such a well-known and well-loved figure in music over the last 20 or so years. As an emotional farewell to a friend and the dawning of a new sunrise for the band, Foo Fighters have done themselves justice with this record.

Listen here

The Answer Is Always Yes by Alex Lahey

It’s crazy to think that even now several years later we are still seeing pandemic projects come to light, but that is indeed the case for this fantastic third album from Aussie singer-songwriter, Alex Lahey. Having been in the middle of touring her impressive sophomore effort The Best of Luck Club, lockdown suddenly threw Alex back into the studio where she would write over 100 new songs. Collaborating with Holy Holy’s Oscar Dawson as well as heavyweight producer Jacknife Lee, this mountain of new music was eventually whittled down to the 10 songs found on The Answer Is Always Yes.

The emergence from lockdown is put front and centre on opener Good Time, where Lahey describes the hedonistic scenes witnessed during those first few months of the world opening back up. Buzzy guitars reverberate throughout as she opens the record with “Everyone’s a bit fucked up, but they think they’re okay”, proving that some lockdown sentiments still carry relevance now. Congratulations then takes the record in a grungier direction, with Lahey sarcastically congratulating an ex on getting engaged for what is another darkly enjoyable track.

The next two tracks are then two early favourites, with You’ll Never Get Your Money Back a sharply written anthem about failed relationships, whilst The Sky Is Melting basks in the regretful melancholia of a disappointing trip during a visit to the Joshua Tree National Park. The rest of the tracklist is then littered with other great moments, such as shameless love song Makes Me Sick, the acoustic-tinged tale of returning home found on Permanent and the jaw-dropping climax of the title track, which sees Lahey belting out the refrain “I don’t want it all to be, the way it was before it changed” over some soaring guitars.

For me Alex Lahey just gets better with each record and although this one was never planned, I’m glad she ended up back in the studio to piece this together. Her best collection to date and I already can’t wait to hear the next one.

Listen here

Roach by Miya Folick

Elsewhere, American singer-songwriter Miya Folick recently made the difficult second album look easy with her impressive new album - ROACH. Essentially an extension of her previously released 2007 EP, ROACH further builds out the narrative with a deeper dive into her relationship with God, her mother and her own self-esteem. Featuring some of the best songs of her young career, early highlights include the hedonistic indie-pop of Bad Thing, brutal break-up anthem Get Out of My House and the tussle with adulthood on the falsetto-kissed 2007.

That said, make sure you stick around for the second half of the album as that’s where Miya Folick’s exceptional songwriting really starts to shine for me. Tetherball is a real stop-you-in-your-tracks moment, with some wonderful ambient electronics backing Folick’s soft vocals to create a gorgeous sound reminiscent of Natasha Khan of Bats For Lashes. These synths then shift into the uplifting pop of So Clear, before Shortstop offers an utterly stunning piano-led finale that you’ll just want to hear again and again. A fantastic second album that I can only see myself playing more in the coming months.

Listen here

Take Me Back To Eden by Sleep Token

Arguably no album has proved more divisive over the last couple of weeks than this third album from mysterious British metalcore outfit, Sleep Token. From outstanding praise to frowning disgust and much-memed hate to them selling out Wembley Arena in 10 minutes, it seems you will either love or hate what Sleep Token attempt to do on this record with their music. For me personally, I oddly landed somewhere in the middle.

Whilst not completely blown away, I did find Sleep Token’s blend of metal, rock, pop, R&B, electronica, gospel - and just about everything else - to be a fascinating way to spend an hour of my time. It hits a peak around the midway point, with Ascensionism beginning with gentle pianos and a trap-style beat, before incredibly transforming into punishing guitars and brutal screams in the second half. Are You Really Okay then sees glistening guitars soundtrack this powerful rock ballad, whilst DYWTYLM is an intriguing auto-tune-soaked pop groove.

As I say this won’t be for everyone, but it’s definitely an interesting blend of genres unlike anything else I’ve heard so far this year. So give it a try and see on which side of the coin you land.

Listen here

Life Is Dub by Foals

Summer is officially here and one of the highlights of last year’s hotter months was Life Is Yours, the sun-kissed seventh studio album from Oxford rockers Foals. Having just recently received a Dub makeover from producer extraordinaire Dan Carey as part of Record Store Day 2023, it means an even more summer-ready version of the album is now available, with Life Is Dub amplifying the electronics for a ravier, more radiant take on Foals’ sound.

Listen here

More Truth EP by Daniel Avery

Sticking with electronic releases, DJ and producer Dan Avery also recently released a companion EP to his acclaimed 2022 album, Ultra Truth. Featuring seven excellent new tracks that didn’t quite make the final cut originally, including trippy Georgia collaboration Going So Low and the accurately titled Bliss, it’s another absorbing collection from the Bournemouth musician who seems incapable of putting a foot wrong.

Listen here

My Eyes, Brother! EP By Opus Kink

And finally on the albums and EPs front, you may (or likely may not) remember that Brighton outfit Opus Kink blew me away with their debut release last year, even ending up as my favourite EP of 2022 in my year-end countdown. Now whilst their latest release hasn’t quite knocked me for six like that dazzling first effort, it’s still a wonderfully theatrical collection of ska-punk that boasts fun, erratic standouts like Chains, Children and Malarkey.

Listen here

Also worth checking out: Council Skies by Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds,DARKFIGHTER by Rival Sons,My Mind Wanders and Sometimes Leaves Completely by Lola Young,Gag Order by Kesha, More Photographs (A Continuum) by Kevin Morby

Tracks of the Week

The Narcissist by Blur

Well, this came out of nowhere didn’t it?!

Whilst tickets for Blur’s reunion tour sold like hot cakes as soon as it was announced, I don’t think many fans were expecting news of a new album – their first in eight years no less - to follow as well. Titled The Ballad of Darren, the highly anticipated release arrives on the 21st July and if the rest is anything like this first single The Narcissist, we could be in for something really special. As someone whose admittedly never been overly fussed about Blur’s output, this is a brilliant song that has me instantly hyped to hear more.

Listen here

Walking Backwards by Ben Howard

Another album I also can’t wait to hear, singer-songwriter and experimental guitarist Ben Howard has his new album dropping in mid-June and this second single has been on heavy rotation ever since it dropped the other week. Folky yet psychedelic with a luminous dash of cheerful horns and sunlit electronics, this could well be the surprise summer record of 2023.

Listen here

Sunshine Baby by The Japanese House

Four years after her debut, indie-pop sensation Amber Bain is finally ready to release her sophomore effort at the end of June, titled In The End It Always Does. Of all the tracks released so far Sunshine Baby is the clear standout, offering up a blissful, summery slice of dream-pop, with none other than George and Matty from The 1975 assisting with production and backing vocal duties.

Listen here

Say Yes To Heaven / Lost At Sea by Lana Del Rey

She may have already released one of the best albums of 2023 so far, but Miss Lizzie Grant has still been treating fans with more new music over the last few weeks. First came the gorgeously bluesy Say Yes To Heaven, an acoustic ballad that’s rumoured to be a lost cut from her Ultraviolence era. Then this past week came Lost At Sea, a beautifully orchestrated collaboration with her father Rob Grant, who has his own debut album (also titled Lost At Sea) coming out this Friday. Both songs, well worth your time!

Listen to Say Yes to Heaven here

Listen to Lost At Sea here

Cry To Heaven by Creeper

Dramatic goth-rockers Creeper also marked their return this week, with third studio album Sanguivore slated for an October release. First single Cry To Heaven is as always tremendous fun from the Southampton outfit, boasting a welcome glam-rock shimmer, an earworm chorus, an exhilarating guitar solo and a touch of eerie Stranger Things-inspired vibes.

Listen here

Keep It Rolling by Bloc Party & KennyHoopla

This was a very welcome surprise – two artists I love teaming up for a new collaborative single. On Keep It Rolling, Indie legends Bloc Party enlist pop-punk newcomer KennyHoopla for this belter of a track, which is highlighted by Kenny’s passionate vocals and Russell Lissack’s signature guitar licks.

Listen here

Haunted by Spanish Love Songs

Having only gotten into emo-rockers Spanish Love Songs off the back of their excellent 2020 album Brave Faces Everyone, I’ve been looking forward to the follow-up ever since then. Finally, it is due to arrive over the August Bank Holiday and if lead single Haunted is anything to go by, it could be even better than its predecessor. With flourishes of synths, heartfelt vocals and an instantly gratifying chorus, it’s absolutely fantastic.

Listen here

Sometimes (Orchestral Version) by James

The biggest disappointment of May was having the Nottingham leg of James’ highly acclaimed orchestral tour postponed due to Tim Booth losing his voice, meaning I had to wait a little longer to see the Mancuninan legends once again with this specially arranged set up. However, the blow will be softened when the band’s orchestral album Be Opened By The Wonderful finally drops later this week, featuring beautifully reworked versions of their classics, including this deeply moving new take on Sometimes. Just when you thought this song couldn’t get even better, they release this – utterly stunning.

Listen here

Wicked Game by Tenacious D

Then in a bit of an unexpected twist, Jack Black and Kyle Gass have followed up last month’s playful single Video Games with this quite spectacular - albeit far too short - cover of Chris Isaak’s classic single, Wicked Game. Best experienced alongside the music video, which sees them hilariously slow motion running into the sea.

Watch the video here

The Grind by Bored Marsh

And finally this week, up-and-coming Nottingham outfit Bored Marsh recently released their quite incredible debut single, The Grind. Clocking in at just shy of six minutes, it is a dark, moody guitar-driven track that channels the palpable energy of early-Interpol. If they keep this exceptional standard up, I’ll be expecting big things going forward!

Listen here

Also worth checking out: Stumbling Still by Nation of Language, AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM by Beyoncé & Kendrick Lamar,Venera by George FitzGerald,Last Time Every Time Forever by Grian Chatten, Weirdo by Tom A. Smith, nice 2 me by piri & tommy

REMINDER: If you use Apple Music, you can also keep up-to-date with all my favourite 2023 tracks through my Best of 2023 playlist. Constantly updated throughout the year with songs I enjoy, it is then finalised into a Top 100 Songs of the Year in December.

Add the playlist to your library here

[thepermanentrainpress]

SPACE QUEEN: NEBULA

Nebula – Space Queen Release Date: May 19th, 2023

Track Listing:

1. Battle Cry 2. Deluge 3. Demon Queen 4. Veil 5. Darkest Part 6. When It Gets Light 7. Sun Interlude 8. Transmission / Lost Causemonaut 9. End Transmission

Space Queen is an all-female trio from Vancouver. They create music that can be described as heavy, psychedelic space rock. Nebula is their second EP and longest release yet. Full-length songs are mixed with under-a-minute interludes to create a quality anthology of work. 

It's really just a jam. A very smooth work that never feels rushed or too drawn out. The sound and style are timeless—it honestly could’ve been recorded at any time over the last 50 years. I was impressed that the group is only three people; it really sounds like more members creating everything with this kind of complex style. It never feels lacking or too simple. If anything, it may be too rapid for listeners who like slower, less intense music. This is a release meant to be rocked out to, played loudly and listened to with passion. It's definitely not background noise.

Lead vocalist Jenna Earle has a very calming, mellow voice that can only be described as reassuring. Her pitch provides a nice contrast to the shredding guitar work – also courtesy of Jenna – that switches from pulsing slow beats to a pure metal, complicated rhythm. Accompanying her is Seah Maister with a deep bass, keyboards, and additional vocals. There's also the varied skilled percussion and other vocals provided by Karli MacIntosh. Together, they are a confident group who play with passion.

The opening – "Battle Cry" – is an aptly named banger that pulls no punches. It's got a 90s sound to it – sort of a grunge and post-punk feel. After a brief transition track, we're hit right with "Demon Queen." It is likely the most heavy song and certainly the fastest. Not a breath or note of silence is observed in over three minutes as Jenna sings of blue blood and taking you. It's speedy and it’s fun, and from here you've got a great idea of the style going forward.

"When It Gets Light” is a pleasant track and perhaps the most complicated of the EP. Each lady really shows her chops on their instruments here. They all vibe together in a way that's really special. This was a highlight for me, and in my opinion the best of all the songs presented. 

"Transmission / Lost Causemonaut" was my personal favourite. It is the longest song and features the most instrumental work. Very cool guitar solos, thrashing percussion, and a throbbing bass all make one hell of a song. The guitar actually whirs and screeches a couple times – it's such a unique effect. It has to be heard for the full experience but at over six minutes, there's plenty to love from the opening rising bass riff to the buzzing fade out.

We close with dialogue snippets – transmissions of a man saying he went to the moon, and a repeated message: "We've heard nothing yet. We've heard nothing yet…" Perhaps it's true. If these are the sort of tunes Space Queen has to offer relatively new to the scene, I'm very excited to see what cosmic works they come up with going forward.

Written by: Cazzy Lewchuk

[ropebunnykant]

okay up until 5 minutes ago, i was a whole month behind on only friends. i wanted to wait until ep 12 so i could just binge eps 7-12 but i caved and just finished ep 11. and a major opinion i came out of ep 11 with is WHY TF DID THEY WAIT UNTIL LIKE THE VERY END OF THE SERIES TO INTRODUCE BOEING??? the drama he's causing, i love it so much. there's just so much more potential he has, i want more than just one last episode of him trying to stir the pot. i don't wanna see a rushed episode of pot stirring between boeing, ray, and sand either. top honestly didn't deserve the shit he got from mew because the thing with boston happened so early on in their relationship (and yeah, it shouldn't have happened and yeah, he should have told mew from the start)... he'd be deserving if it had just happened like a week prior to mew finding out. that's not me being a cheater apologist, i wanna clarify that right away. i just think he shoulda got dumped and maybe punched, not had his heart twisted and torn like it was by both mew and boeing. also, chuem's bisexual erasure is shit, she's shit for that. and atom is a piece of literal garbage for what he tried to do to boston, who tf does that. you fucked one time??? you knew what kind of person boston was and you just automatically assumed he'd fall in love with you when he hadn't really admitted to his feelings for nick, someone he's slept with multiple times and treated much better than his past boys, up until the very end of the series??? fucking crazy. also boston deserves better than the shit friends he had, i think being with nick would actually make him a lot better of a person too. and we all love ray and sand, they are perfect for each other and nobody better complain or i'm coming for throats. they are angels, that's final.

first of all nonnie you’re so real lmao. for the boeing stuff, i’m mostly gonna direct you to this post by @wen-kexing-apologist because it explains beautifully why that choice was made. that being said, i do def get the disappointment of him not being introduced sooner purely for the fun of it. i’m also of the opinion that this show probably should have been longer because this plot and everything they’ve tried to fit just doesn’t work for a twelve ep structure. there’s only one ep left and there’s oh so many things to wrap up, and the directors have even admitted to cutting a bunch of things. and i think a lot of the common complaints would have been fixed had this show gotten even two more episodes rather than being shoved into twelve

anywayssss, i do fully agree that mew took things too far with top m, especially seeing as top technically DIDNT cheat, they weren’t together at the time — like you said, that’s not a cheater-apologist thing but (trust me i’ve seen some cheater apologist shit in this fandom 🙄) that’s just the truth, mew had refused to establish them. which is part of why it also really doesn’t surprise me that mew DID go so far. mew, from the beginning, has liked having control and feeling above others and top cheating on him through a complete wrench in that. it’s great he does seem to have learned and grown and all that and understood that that just doesn’t work if he does want a real relationship with top, and i’m very excited to see where the two of them go.

also completely agree with the boston/atom, bostonick, and sandray stuff, nothing to add there shdkskd

[tabletop-nightmare]

OKAY SO: Usually I watch the show with my family on Friday but they were foaming at the mouth so we watched them all the minute they came out. So Prime I guess thought it was cool to make the cover shot for the 5th episode to be Vex which kinda peeved me and my family off, but no less they were happy she’s alive. Also my family is still fucking laughing at “good thing these titties where here”. Excuse me if I mix stuff up we just binged all three and I MYSELF am a little fucked up and can’t remember what happened when anYWAYS... Ep 4: Trinket lore!!! I shit you not, 40 seconds before Vax says his line my mom says out loud “Take me instead” like she knew WTF was up it was wild. My family hates Zahra, which makes me sad but she’s not easy to like in this episode. GUYS so many questions SO MANY QUESTIONS everything about Vax and the vestige had my family asking SO MANY QUESTIONS. They were too busy asking questions like the entire episode. Wince of pain for Percy after the punch but overall where like yeah okay you deserved it a lil bit bud. Once Zahra gave Vex Raven’s Slumber then my family was like “Oh okay she’s cool I guess :)” Ep 5: BAFFLED that Keyleth has a family like WHAT. Raven Queen showed up in the fire and my sister just said “That bitch is everywhere!!!” My family loves Grog and Grog related shenanigans. REALLLLYYYY hate the sword (spoilers, they hate it MORE later). If there is one thread my Dad is keeping track of it’s the sword and he DOESN’T like it. My sister pointed out Vax is probably being snippy to Keyleth about going to Pyra because he wants the whole dragon thing over so he can attempt to get the Deathwalker off. I agree with her. Interesting tidbit she picked up that I did not. EVEN more questions because they don’t understand DND and what the elemental planes are. When Keyleth inevitably turns into a elemental though my FAMILY LOST THEIR MINDS. And her outfit change and all that like full blown cheering they were going nuts. Allura Kima kiss made my sister go “Yeah, I saw that coming, they’re a thing.” They knew Ripley was gonna be a problem which obviously BLINDSIDED ME. Ep 6: REALLY hating the sword now this is Sword Hating Episode tm. Upset for Pike. About half way through the group fight they realized Scanlan was going to be the one to get to Kamaljiori. They REALLY like Scanlan now, they are starting to GET IT. WHICH IS GREAT FOR REASONS WE ALL KNOW. Lots more yelling and screaming when Umbrasyl showed up, LOTS of yelling when Grog started raging with Craven Edge. They were not pleased and VERY upset when Pike got stabbed. Lot’s of stuff happened those last few minutes, that has them confused. My sister got up and walked away and said “If Pike dies I’m not watching any more.” They themselves said they are gonna have to rewatch the episodes because they feel they missed stuff.

My 70 year old parents and 46 year old sister are watching Legend of Vox Machina with me and I thought I would start making note of the things THEY make note of with absolutely no context of CR:

Unfortunately I didn't think of this until Season 2 so all I'll say for Season 1 is they fell in love with all of the characters.

Season 2 ep. 1-3:

Ep 1: Lots of babbling about the dragons. Raven Queen sighting 1 left them all asking me questions loudly that I obviously couldn't answer. My mom asking if Vax is bi and my sister not missing a beat "I think they all are." My sister pointing out Scanlan's unwillingness to fight the dragons. They did a lot of eye rolling with Scanlan season 1 and they are very clearly realizing shits deeper than that.

Ep 2: I'll start off with saying my family now greats me with "Bidet" its a blessing. My dad straight up said "I think the sword may be regretting who its with rn." Which obviously made me wheeze. Raven Queen sighting 2 had them asking more questions but Louder. They are very aware now that all of the characters are highly complex and that this may be a bit more than a funny violence riddled time. Osysa's comment to Scanlan especially made my family go "oh wait... oh no wait a minute." This is a Pike Trickfoot loving household. They are very aware of the character arc Grog is about to go through I think.

Ep 3: Purvan Suul funny. My sister football yelling at them to look in the lake. Seeing Grogs frenzy made a few people nod their heads. With what understanding they have of DnD and the fact the show is almost a 1 to 1 to a dnd campaign they were really fucked up about Vex's death. My mom is a sweetheart and was like "Wait did that mean she couldnt play anymore :(" and I explained some dnd stuff to her and it turns out it was an evil rouse to get me to say that Vex would "probably" be fine and she straight up went "oh okay so shes not dead :)" Evil Mother tactics.

[luckycheesefoodie321]

HAHAHA I just noticed Usopp grabbing Zoro as he walks away in the Dressrosa intro XD

I’m on the last ep of the first half of Dressrosa and man we are finally where I want to be. After the high octane self-container joyride that was Punk Hazard, Dressrosa started off v slowly and this where you feel the manga v anime pacing issues. But now we’re in the thick of it and square offs I’ve been waiting for are finally happening!!

One square off I wanted to end about 10 episodes ago was Franky vs Baby Man. Im pretty sure this weird dudebro face off is gonna continue and boi i am this close to putting Frankie on my list of unpurposeful weirdos. And I like Franky. He has been a purposeful weirdo thus far but this fight has got to stop.

Now I know more about Dressrosa than I knew about Punk Hazard. I am aware of Rosinante and I know Gear 4 is inbound (which is fun to experience since Gear 5 has just been released in the anime) but I had seen clips and had this thought that Law and Luffy do the “Luffy pretends to attack Law and Law swaps with Doffy last minute” as the final blow in the Luffy v Doffy fight but they show it off straight away SO I can only assume that Doffy manages to thwart that trick later on and then it comes back at the last minute as the big triumphant moment. So looking forward to that.

I know keeping up with the anime/manga is like every OP fans mission but I kinda like coming in from behind. I get to guess at the gaps in my knowledge and how they come together with what I am aware of and that’s more fun to me than going in totally blind bc with a long form show like One Piece, you need markers to look forward to and that’s what I kinda give myself. Check points of the story I know are coming up that I can work towards so the task isn’t quite as large. Like all the major milestones of the One Piece viewing experience e.g.

Getting to the Grand Line

Defeating his first Shichibukai

Blackbeards speech

Luffy v Usopp

Gear 2nd/Sogeking shoot down that flag

Going Merry Death/Thousand Sunny birth

I truly knew nothing about Thriller Bark so Nanimo nakatta was a revelation for me

Meeting Rayleigh

Punching a World Noble

Getting separated

Luffy taking on Impel Down

Marineford/“he has a power that gets everyone on his side”/Conqueror’s Haki for the first time

Ace’s Death

3D2Y

Fishman Island and 50,000 Fishmen

Blood brothers with Jimbei

Again I knew nothing of Punk Hazard which was a true delight

Coliseum aka TOURNAMENT ARC

Meeting Sabo again

The return of the HIKENNN

And now I’m waiting for the bit where Doffy tries to step on Law and then Gear 4 reveal AND THE STRAW HAT GRAND FLEET.

As it has been said, better to experience OP at your own pace to truly appreciate what it is.

[idk3453]

Mafia

Chapter 7

Mafia chapter 7 

You Can Run But You Cant Hide...

Hey guys!! sorry chapter 7 took so long to write, had a little bit of writer's block, along with some projects I needed to do for my class. But here is chapter 7! I am currently writing chapters 8 and 9! If you are new to the series Hi and welcome, those who are coming back, Hi and welcome back!.

Now, here it is Mafia chapter 7

If you havent read the chapters dont worry I will link it down below!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6

Synopsis: Elvis Presley, the notorious mafia leader of Memphis, Tennessee has the town on its feet. Fear, power, money, and women surround him and his Memphis mafia. But what happens when one day you stumble into his world? And he makes you fall in love with him? 

Elvis POV: 

I dont know what happened, one minute I was showing off my girl Y/N to my mafia, then the next Im tackling Lamar to the ground. It all happened in the blink of an eye. 

“Elvis stop!” “Let him go!” said Jerry

Each punch I threw connected with Lamars face. 

“That's enough Elvis, look what you're doing!” Jerry continued to yell. 

In a desperate attempt to reduce injuries to his face, Lamar used his arms as a shield, blocking my punches as best he could.  Blood stained my white shirt along with Lamar's face.

Feeling my arms being pulled away from Lamar, I kept trying to break free. kicking my legs every which way.

“Let me go! he needs to learn his place!” I yelled trashing and trying to remove myself from their grip on me.

“Elvis, I’m sorry!” Said Lamar. 

“Elvis, calm down, look at what you did!’ For god sakes Y/N is terrified!” 

The mention of her name snapped me back to reality. 

“Y/N!, Y/N, baby where are you?” 

“Shes gone Elvis, I had one of the men take her to your room. You should have seen her, she was shaking like a leaf!” said Jerry. 

“God damnit!” Slamming the wall with my hands. My hands were covered with Lamar's blood.

“I didn’t want her to get scared of me” running my hand through my hair. It’s a habit I formed when I become either anxious or upset. 

“Well, congratulations EP, you fucking just did!” said Jerry sarcastically. 

Looking at the scene I caused, Lamar's bloody face, crying repeating the words I'm sorry E, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry. I slowly backed away from my men and said “Imma head upstairs to check on her” “Jer, take Lamar to the nurse, I’ll see him in a bit” 

“Will do” 

And with that I quickly made my way up the stairs. 

Jogging, I got up to the top floor, the black padded doors greet me, but not the way I wanted them to. Slowly, I grabbed the door handles, and sweat dripped from my forehead. "What if I scared her for good." "how am I going to get y/n to trust me if she is scared of me." sighing I slowly turned the handle to open the doors to my room. 

“Y/N?” I said 

I waited for a response, but when nothing came after a few seconds I inched my head closer to my room.

"Y/N," I said again as I looked further into the room, I spotted her huddled in a corner, her knees to her face.

"way to fucking go, Elvis she hates you now," my conscious told me. those last three words haunting me "She hates you". shaking the feeling out of my head, I inched my way closer to her.

“Baby? I know this looks bad, but I did it for a good reason” I said. 

“Lamar needed to know his place, and he crossed the line making that comment.” 

I said making my way closer to her, Y/N still didn’t move nor look up. 

“Baby, please look at me”  nothing

“I didn’t mean to scare you” nothing again, y/n hasn't moved an inch.

“I Just have a bad temper” "My temper tend to get the best of me little"

I got as close to Y/N as I could. kneeling down in front of her, I pushed a few hair strands back. Trying my best to have her at least look at me. I don’t want her to think I’m some monster. 

“Baby, please look at me” 

"I'm terribly sorry" "It wont happen again, I promise"

"Like hell it wont", I muttered under my breath

Y/N started to look up at me, slowly lifting her head up from her knees. 

“That’s it baby, please look at me” 

As she slowly lifted her head up, I was so distracted that I didn’t notice her right hand, holding a vase. Y/N smashes it to the side of my head. 

Knocking me down on the ground, I tried to compose myself. Processing what just happened.

I looked up from where I was and saw she was running towards the doors.

“Come back here!” I yelled Blood dripped from my forehead. But the adrenaline was enough to pull me up and get me to my feet. running as fast as I could to stop her. Y/N was dashing past the door, making it down the stairs. Exiting the front door, out of Graceland and out of my reach.

“Fuck!” I said punching the wall thus creating a small hole in it. 

“JERRY!, LARRY!, CHARLIE!” I NEED YALL HERE NOW!” I yelled, my head pounding every which way.

They all ran from where they were to come find me. 

“EP what’s wrong?!” “Is there trouble?!” Said Charlie 

“Jerry starts the car, Y/N escaped,” I said almost breathlessly. "God damn that blow was hard." clutching onto the side of my forehead pulling my hand away, I saw a few drops of blood on them.

“Shit!, E how?!” said Larry

Annoyed I looked up from where I was starting at and said “DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST DO AS I SAY!” 

And with that, my men left and started to get the car ready. Quickly making my way down the stairs I winced as the effects of the adrenaline started to wear off. 

I finally made it past the stairs and reached the front doors of Graceland.

“She couldn’t have gone far,” I told myself. Graceland is in a secluded area, there’s no way she could have gone far. 

“Beep!” “Beep!” “You ready E?” Yelled Jerry 

“Yeah!Let's go find her! 

And with that, Jerry revved up the engine of my Cadillac Eldorado, me getting into the passenger seat, Larry and Charlie in the back seat, and Jerry as Driver. Jerry backs up the car harshly, and looking at rear view mirror, Graceland began to become farther and farther from our reach. And now it is off to find where my little runway has gone too.

"You can run, but you cant hide," I said silently as the hunt to find Y/N was on.

What do we think yall!

What do you think is gonna happen in chapter 8 and 9!

I wanna hear your thoughts.

Thank you @erutluve for the pics for the Mafia Fan Fics! I love them so much!

Thank you to @erutluv, @plasticfantasticl0ver and @natipooxx

I can't wait for y'all to read the next chapters! Stay tuned!

[angstsfordays]

Beautiful Pain (7)

Chapter Seven- Gone

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced! Reader

Summary: Post-Blip, you started to feel lost when most of the Avengers team are gone. Coping with your loss, you still find hope in the connection with your remaining friends. However, it is not easy as everyone is trying to figure their lives after the Blip.

Having a long history with Bucky ever since you both saved each other from Hydra, you were still glad you had Bucky after all this time. However, as you try to give Bucky space to find himself after being pardoned for his past, you start to wonder if you should ever cross the line of friendship before it’s too late.

That thought might have to be put on hold though, when you, Sam and Bucky find yourselves having to deal with threats that continue to rise in a post-Blip world.

Chapter synopsis: In your pursuit of Karli and her group, unexpected revelations come to light. Lines are now crossed and that there is no turning back.

Warnings: Violence. Angst. A bit of language. Maybe a tear-inducing moment?

Word count: 5k

Notes: In celebration of the last ep, today is a double release! 🥳 We are already at the 7th chapter of this series. It also has covered one of the most climactic episodes of the TFATWS series and wow, I can't believe we are here! 😱

I have yet to see the last episode but I have plans to do it tonight. I thought I could put it off until I finish writing for ep 5 but I couldn't wait. This would help me to plan the direction I want to come for the upcoming chapters. 😌 Hope y’all will stick to this series despite the show has ended. 😅

Please let me know what you think of the series so far! 🥰🙏🏼

The tag list is still open! Let me know if you want to join with a message or comment in the chapters!

Previous: Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six |

Next: Chapter Eight

-------------------------//---------------------------

With Zemo’s inside information, all of you were heading to Donya’s ceremony in hopes to find Karli. You weren’t sure what to do knowing that you had secured a possible chance with Dovich to talk to Karli.

Grabbing your blazer, you made the move to join your group when you were greeted by the sight of John and Lemar walking towards you all.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you to pull this shit.” John thought it fit to lecture your group. You were walking beside Sam when you heard Bucky sarcastically questioning John on how he managed to locate your group.

All of your annoyance grew as John decided he doesn’t want to miss out on the action given his new status and hence, responsibility as- urgh you don’t even want to say call him that title in your head.

“Come on, man. You don’t think three Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing too much attention?” Lemar responded in kind.

John in all his fear of missing out started to question why you all had broken Zemo out of prison. Bucky patronizingly mentioned that Zemo broke himself out technically but John grew more irritated at not being taken seriously.

John’s higher than thou self was drawing attention with his loud talk and Sam had to cut him off. Zemo explained that he knew of Karli’s location and indicated continuing on his tracks before being stopped by John.

Sam went on ahead to explain that Karli would most likely be at Donya’s memorial and interception would take place there. Lemar noted the risks of casualties give n that civilians would be present.

John seeming pleased with the information started talking of a plan to take Karli in by surprise. This plan of ambush didn’t sit well with Sam and he proposed to talk to her alone. John refused, saying he didn’t want the possibility of losing Karli again.

Sam countered back that it was the best timing to reason with her, as she was now feeling vulnerable with someone dear to her loss. John vehemently rebuffed Sam’s proposal and claimed that reasoning with Karli was not an option, given that she had bombed a building with people in it.

Lemar, who you observed to be more level-headed than John ever would be chimed in that Sam could be attacked without any backup.

“And if I go in hot and the ops go wrong, more people will die,” Sam stated firmly.

“Sam is right.” Everyone turned to you and you continued to speak. “Look-” You shook in disbelief as you were about to break the promise you had with Dovich but you knew the situation called for it.

“I met with one of Karli’s guys.” All of the men were stunned at your revelation and you could see the betrayal on Bucky’s face more so than the rest.

“When was this?” He spoke up first as he looked on at you in disappointment.

“When we were out fishing for information on Donya, I miraculously spotted him on the streets and followed him. We talked.”

“And you didn’t bring him in?!” John accused as if you had done something terribly wrong. Bucky turned to give John the stink eye before going back to you.

“Why would you keep this from us at all?” Bucky couldn’t believe that you would have kept this information from him of all of the people.

“I promised him, he was going to talk to Karli for me after the memorial. He was our best chance to persuade Karli rather than go in by ourselves. We might not even have a shot.” You defended your actions.

“And how was he so agreeable to your request?” Bucky asked disdainfully. You didn’t like his judgmental stare at you, like as if he couldn’t believe you managed this feat.

“I saved him before back when we all fought the Flag Smashers on the truck. I convinced him with sincerity, happy?” You snapped back at the brooding super-soldier. Sam witnessing the once again tense exchange between the two of you intervened and spoke.

“That’s good, Y/N. Well done.”

“He said that he would only have me speak to Karli but I think you should do it, Sam. I can do talk to him again once he contacts me. You are the best one of us to do it.” You knew of Sam’s experiencing with counselling soldiers dealing with trauma and knew that he would do a better job to talk to Karli.

Sam was encouraged at your support for him and pulled you into a side hug which you returned gladly to him too. Bucky grew irritated at how your relationship with him was continuing to sour and began to feel disheartened. John being the thorn in your side still did not relent in his opinion.

“Are you gonna let your partner walk into a room with a super-soldier alone?” John continued to harp on the matter.

“He dealt with worse and he’s not my partner.” Bucky curtly answered.

“I trust Sam, he’s more capable than you think.” You chimed in. Bucky gave you a brief warm look as the two of you had put your differences aside for a moment to agree on Sam’s competency.

When Lemar asked John to give this plan a chance, you could see the latter wavering on his stance. It seemed his soft spot for his partner and friend worked. The men still thought it was better to go for the memorial straight as they were not sure if Dovich could hold up his end of the promise.

You showed hesitation but decided to give in, knowing that you were outnumbered. Zemo led the group to approach a little girl and you could see him giving some money to the girl in exchange for the revelation of Donya’s memorial.

You all were soon directed to an old building and the little girl pointed up to a stairway before going off. Sam gave you a nod before making his way first.

John took it upon himself to cuff Zemo before stopping Sam, informing him that he only had ten minutes with Karli. You had it with his bossy attitude and wanted to throw a punch in his face.

As the time passed in the room, it was silent. Everyone took a spot to wait but John was pacing up and down. Bucky positioned himself near the door while you took a spot opposite Lemar.

Your eyes glanced nervously to Bucky, suddenly feeling all weird and awkward. You never had this feeling in a long time. The only time you felt his way was when you had just started living with him as you two were on the run and in hiding.

The sudden comfort and ease you had with him seemed to vanish with your first fight as you would call it.

“Hey, uh-now it’s not really the time…” Your attention to Lemar who was now speaking at you directly. Giving a surprising look at his unexpected conversation starter, you listened intently.

“I really am a fan of yours.” Your mouth opened slightly in surprise at his revelation. Tilting your head to the side, you gave him a quizzical look.

“Just thought your powers are really cool. I was amazed to see them in action back in Germany.” You weren’t sure how to react but nodded shyly and thanked him. Bucky couldn’t believe what transgressed in front of him.

Peering over to see you with a bashful expression, he couldn’t help to grow irritated out of jealousy.

“Were you born with them?” Lemar inquired politely and you nodded in response. Lemar had another look of wonder before continuing to ask.

“That’s extraordinary.” You shrugged your shoulders as you didn’t know what to respond. Sure, you know your powers were to be envied but you didn’t think of yourself holier.

“It’s nothing to be envied. I find more respect for people who are able to do extraordinary things without such advantages.“ Your humility gained a deepened sense of admiration from Lemar. “Thank you for your service.” Throwing a smile in his way, yours grew wider as Lemar returned one your way.

Eyes looking over to John, you gave a slight brief nod before looking away. You also had to acknowledge his contributions but you didn’t like him as much so that was the best you could do.

Minutes passed again before John grew more impatient by the second.

“No no no, this is a bad idea.” He started whispering to himself as he shook his head fervently.

“It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight.” Bucky noted with a huff.

“Don’t patronize me.” You could see John getting fed up with Bucky. Walking towards the other end of the room from where Bucky was, John stood to look at the clock and you saw the determination in his eyes. “That’s it. I am going in.”

“Woah, back down mister. You’re being too rash.” Moving to the side to block his path, you held up a hand to stop him from moving.

“And you’re being too relaxed.” He seethed impatiently at your interception. As his hands laid on your shoulders to move you physically, Bucky immediately went to snatch his hand away.

You felt yourself being shifted backwards and towards Bucky before he took a step in front of you. Both men puffed up their chests in dominance and looked at each other with distaste.

“This is all really easy for you two, isn’t it?” John’s eyes moved to yours before landing back at Bucky. “All those serum and powers running through your veins…”

“Your partner needs backup in there. Are you really going to have Sam’s blood on your hands?” John enunciated each word of his last sentence strongly to pressure you.

In a matter of seconds, John looked at the opening Bucky gave when he came to protect you and went for it. He quickly made his way to where Sam and Karli were.

You saw the look of distraught and betrayal on Karli’s face before she lunged for John and knocked him and Sam over. She immediately made a run for it with Bucky hot on her trail. Helping Sam up, you two made your way to back Bucky up.

The big building was an unfamiliar maze and the three of you tried to find Karli’s location. Hearing the sounds of crashing and gunshots, you all tried your best to follow the sounds to the exact location.

When you arrived at the door, you opened it to see Zemo knocked out cold on the floor. John was already at the scene and Lemar just joined a few moments later. The little pieces of glass with unknown blue residues confirmed your suspicions on what they were.

Oh god.

-------------------------//---------------------------

“I deal with the power broker when the time comes,” Karli reassured the two men were worried about fighting two wars with both the power broker and Sam’s group.

“And I know a way we can deal with Sam without getting involved in a direct fight.” Karli intended. Nico and Dovich exchanged a brief look before Dovich asked how they were able to do so.

“We separate them. And then we kill Captain America.” Karli’s intentions didn’t sit well with Nico but he maintained a neutral expression. Dovich sat on the thought for a moment and remembered about you

“Hey look, Sam’s group is an odd mix but I don’t think they mean any harm. Except for Zemo, of course.”

With furrowed brows, Karli indicated for Dovich to explain himself. Dovich decided to speak about the earlier encounter he had with the Avenger.

“I talked with Y/N prior and she promised that she didn’t want any bloodshed.” Karli scoffed at her friend’s words and shook her head in disbelief. How was Dovich so trustful of you?

“That’s what Sam said too. But guess how it turned out.” She retorted with her own example to show how your group couldn’t be trusted.

“She’s not like that. I believe her, she can be trusted.” Dovich insisted. Karli and Nico were curious as to why was their friend was pushing for you.

“What’s gotten into you, Dovich? Why are you defending her?”

“Karli, she saved my life back in Germany. Her actions then spoke louder given she only met us for the first time.”

“She’s still loyal to her group. She’s loyal to the Avengers.” Karli continued to put down Dovich’s vouch for you. He then decided to change his tactics.

“I think she can be convinced to join our group. Imagine if she stood on our side, we would be unstoppable.” Karli looked up in interest as she considered the possibility of you fighting for their cause. Indeed, with your powers, the Flag Smashers would become a force to be reckoned with.

“That’s impossible.” Karli tried to reason with the fact that you were still with the enemy and you wouldn’t be turned so easily. She knew of your history and how you were loyal to a fault for Bucky Barnes. Would you so easily leave your friends to join them?

“She empathises with our cause. She said so herself.” Dovich added in finality, hoping that Karli could be convinced.

“Hmm, we’ll see about that.”

-------------------------//---------------------------

Your head was spinning from earlier events and you came back to the common room once you had a quick shut-eye upstairs. You could hear Bucky and Sam bantering about the same old topic on Steve’s shield.

You also heard Bucky’s comments about Walker and shook your head in disbelief at how inherently frustrating the man was. What could have been a successful peace talk with Karli was ruined by his brashness to display his authority.

The door burst open behind you and you looked over to see John coming in with Lemar, demanding for all of you to turn Zemo in. Sam took charge of the situation and put John in his place, stating he had been nothing but a thwart in your plans.

John being the arrogant pick he was tried to size up Sam, mocking him by saying he could put down the shield to make it fair for the both of them. You were fuming with the blatant disrespect that John was showing.

Before you could take another step, a familiar spear swooped in and lodged itself in the pillar near John. The familiar sounds of metal clanging let you know who was arriving and you saw familiar Dora Milajae members walking into the room.

Understanding the Wakandan words that were being spoken, you knew the Dora Milajae were here for Zemo.

John being the arrogant prick that he was, was proud to introduce himself as Captain America. An awkward silence ensued when they didn’t return a response. Sam tried to help John out by advising him that he should be careful to step on the Dora Milajae’s toes.

Ignoring Sam’s words, John went on to tell the Dora Milajae that they had no jurisdictions it had little effect when Ayo refuted his claims. Seeing John scoff before taking a step towards Ayo to place his hand on her shoulder, you immediately winced once Ayo swiftly knocked John down in three moves.

The scene in front of you unfolded quickly as John were quick to fight against the Dora Milajae and Lemar even stepped in to help his partner out. Seeing how the two men were hopelessly struggling with the warriors caused you to cringe in embarrassment.

“We should do something,” Sam said as he had the same sentiments as you.

“Looking strong, John.” Bucky commentated sarcastically with his arms crossed as if he was fine with how things were.

“Bucky….” Sam said in a nagging tone, as if Bucky was a child who did not want to do his chores. You looked over to give him a nod to say that Bucky should indeed step in before John really gets pummelled.

“Ayo, let’s talk about this”. Bucky stepped forward to intervene. Looking to the side, you saw one of the Dora aiming to give Lemar a blow before Sam stepped in. She managed to knock Sam down onto the couch and you knew it was your chance to step up.

You refused to use your powers with the Doras so you held your hands up to negotiate with them.

“Spare him, please.” You pleaded on Lemar’s behalf. The Dora withheld her weapon as she looked over you, recognising you from your Wakandan days. She left you

A sound of metal dropping caught your attention as you saw Bucky’s arm falling limply on the ground. His astonished expression accompanied by pain at Ayo’s disarm of his arm also brought you a shock.

In the midst of the chaos, you found that Zemo had disappeared. Ayo went to open the bathroom door and checked the room. She stated that Zemo was gone.

Ayo stated that their business was finished here and they would take their leave first. You helped Lemar up before walking over to Bucky who picked up his vibranium arm in disbelief.

“Did you know they could do that?” Sam asked and Bucky shook his head in response. You bit your lips as you weren’t sure what to say.

In an attempt to comfort him, you reached over to give his shoulder a squeeze. Bucky was glad that your previous enmity towards him seemed to be gone and your interactions seemed to be back to normal.

“They were not even super soldiers.” Hearing John’s dismay at his utter defeat, you almost felt bad for him. Sam gave him a once over as John stood up, acting he was fine before leaving with Lemar.

The three of you left couldn’t believe Zemo made his grand escape even with all of you in the room.

-------------------------//---------------------------

The three of you were making your way out in search of Zemo until Sam received a call from his sister. Apparently, Karli called Sarah as a strong message to Sam. Karli threatened to involve Sam’s nephews if Sam didn’t do as she said.

Your head shook in disbelief, you believed Karli to be different. To hear that she was pulling such a tactic changed your initial opinion of her. Sam received a message to meet her alone but you and Bucky wouldn’t let him go in alone.

Once the three of you suited up, you all made your way to the location. Entering the open plaza in the building, Sam called for Karli and you saw her head popped into view. You all made your way to her level.

You let Sam approached her while Bucky and you put yourselves at the side. Sam called her out for trying to involve his family but Karli replied that she would never harm them. Her eyes moved to where you and Bucky stood, noting aloud that Sam didn’t come alone as intended.

Karli reiterated that she never wanted to hurt Sam and that he was just a tool in the regimes she vowed to destroy. Killing Sam would be meaningless to her.

“I was gonna ask you to join me. And maybe Y/N back there. Dovich has spoken highly of you.” Seeing your eyes widened in surprise at the offer, Karli smirked before continuing.

“You could do better than them. You would be welcomed and appreciated within our circle. I know of your loss, your grief with the rest of your original team gone. You can find purpose with us.” You stepped forward as if her words were drawing you in.

Sam and Bucky were at a sudden loss at your movement. They didn’t think you would even process Karli’s proposal and were curious to know what you were about to do.

“Karli, I resonate with your cause.” Your words took your friends by surprise. Were you really going to switch sides?

“But I don’t approve of what you did back at the depot. I thought better of you.” You expressed your stance on the matter. Karli scoffed before giving her reply. “Don’t give me that. I don’t need your approval.”

“Shedding blood is never an option for me.” You stood your ground firmly.

“Fine, I admit my mistake. If you join us, I will make sure there would not be lives cost.” Karli tried to coat her words in favour of you.

She knew that she would do whatever was necessary for her to achieve her goals and even if it were to pretend to pander to your moral values, she was willing to give it a try if it meant she could have you switch sides.

Seeing your conflicted dilemma, Karli egged on. “Is it because of him?” She nodded back to Bucky. You looked over your shoulder to see him equally You looked at her with a perplexed look before she smirked once more.

“I read up about you. You came into his defence when he was accused of a crime he didn’t commit. You revealed your powers publicly and that got you thrown into the raft. Ever since he has been pardoned, you had been with him all this time.” You didn’t know where Karli was going with this but her next sentence finally made you understood.

“This only means one thing. You like him, don’t you? He’s the one holding you back.”

“No! What are you talking about?” You spoke through gritted teeth at how she chose to play this out. How could she expose you like this? Your ears burned with embarrassment at the revelation that stunned both Sam and Bucky.

What was Karli implying exactly? Bucky looked over to see you visibly shaking in anger and he was taken aback by how Karli’s words affected you.

“Even now, I see the way you are looking at him. At how angry you are now? You mad that your secret crush is out in the open?” You looked up to see Karli’s smug face and you controlled your energy from bursting through your hands.

“Stop your bullshit. Don’t act like you know me!”

“Please, I am letting you know that he is not worth it. You would do so much better for yourself if you join our cause.” Karli retorted and you hated how she acted like she knew what was best for you when she barely knew her.

Sam always had an inkling that there could be more from your relationship with Bucky but he kept silent on the matter out of respect. He knew that it was best to leave you figuring things out on your own.

He recalled how he had caught you and Bucky in an intimate moment back in the club at Madripoor and figured you two were more than it seemed on a friendship level.

Seeing Karli use such an approach to almost taunting you in the context of persuasion didn’t sit well with him. His inner big brother wanted to come out to defend you.

Meanwhile, Bucky was appalled to learn of everything from your exchange with Karli. Was it possible that you had liked him all this while?

When he talked to you about Madripoor earlier, he remembered your pained expression when he tried to void what happened between the two of you.

Was it because you were hurt by his denial? He must have sounded like the world’s biggest jerk. If you really liked him, he would imagine you being heartbroken from what he had said.

“He is worth everything.” Your very statement made Bucky looked back up in shock. No way would he ever thought you would like him in that way. He thought you were just being the kind-hearted and empathetic person that you always are to follow a guy like him.

Quick flashbacks came to him as he realized that you had always been by his side from breaking free of HYDRA to being on the run, following the Avengers civil war, his time in Wakanda, the fight with Thanos, Steve's leaving, his pardon after the Blip and up to now.

It dawned upon Bucky that he had taken you for granted. If you were gone right now, he could only imagine that he would possibly go the deep end.

“He is the most important person in my life and you don’t get to talk about him like that when you don’t even know him.” You asserted with renewed confidence. You figured while this situation wasn't ideal, it was the moment you had to tell your truth.

Looking back, you met Bucky with a small smile.

Bucky’s heart soared at what you had just said. To be regarded as your most important person was the thing that he never knew he needed.

You knew that your words inadvertently had answered the pressing question on Bucky’s mind. Karli knew she had failed to get to you after the answer and decided to lose her shot with you.

You hear Sam picking up something on his comms, stating that it was Walker. Karli was alerted and decided to make a move first. Bucky immediately jumped off as soon as he saw Karli doing the same.

You lifted yourself off and saw Sam knocking Karli over before he turned to Bucky, telling him that he would send him the location. You didn’t have time to say anything to Bucky, he only gave you a look of understanding before you both knew that there were more pressing matters at hand.

Sam nodded to you before you did the same and you followed him as he took off.

-------------------------//---------------------------

You sent a blast towards the glass ceiling before you and Sam landed in the building. A crash was heard next when you recognised Dovich to be the one that was crashing. You looked to see John walking into view and your mind scrambled to analyse what was going on.

Dovich went ahead to use a metal pipe against John, but John pushed back and even bent the pipe into half like a rubber hose.

“Oh shit,” Dovich uttered before John sent him flying to where you stood. As Dovich looked up at you, you eyed him to go and heard Sam speak up.

“What did you do?” John didn’t answer the question and informed that the Flag Smashers had Lemar. Growing a soft spot despite your brief interaction, your heart dropped when you realised that Lemar was in danger.

John went ahead first before Sam followed behind. You placed your hand on Sam’s arm to pause for a moment, looking at Sam anxiously.

“Sam, I think he took one of the serums.” He nodded grimly at your words, indicating that he shared the thought too.

The two of you followed John where you were all ambushed by a member of the Flag Smashers. All of you tried to fend yourselves and you soon see Bucky joining the scene.

You were met face to face with Dovich. You gave him a look that said you were reluctant but had no choice to fight him.

He took you on and you tried your best to avoid his quick moves. You shot multiple non-fatal blasts at him to knock him over. He was doing his best to keep up with the speed at which you were throwing your blasts.

In the next split second, you sent two direct blasts to his chest that knocked the wind out of his chest. The following moment, you heard a loud collision and you looked to see Lemar crashed against a stone pillar.

A loud gasp escaped your lips as you realised what had just happened. Lemar’s head fell slightly as you saw him lost consciousness. John immediately walked over to his partner and repeatedly tap him to wake him up.

You swallowed heavily as seconds passed and Lemar had no reaction. John called Lemar’s name over and over to no avail. You see John looking back his shoulder and directing his line of sight on you.

“Do something!” He cried out to you. You were at a loss for words as you didn’t know what he wanted you to do. You looked over to see Sam and Bucky equally stunned at what had occurred.

“I read your file. You brought someone back to life before!” You knew what John was referring to but you didn’t know if it could even work.

“I can’t, my powers don’t work like that-” Your powers came from your life force so you were able to transfer it to someone to regain theirs. However, you only did it once and it was because someone was dying of hypothermia. It was a different situation from Lemar’s.

“Please! I’m begging you! He’s everything to me!” John’s desperate plea touched you, knowing that he had said similar words to what you had said before about Bucky. You understood his plight and made quick steps to where he was.

Everyone looked upon the scene as you crouched down to your knees. You gave John a wary look before you brought your hands to Lemar who was lying in John’s arms.

Summoning your energy into your palms, you placed them on Lemar’s chest as if you were using a defibrillator. You pumped several sets of energy into Lemar while John patted him for a reaction.

When Lemar still showed no signs of life, the look of defeat on John’s face broke your heart. Tears start welling in your eyes as you looked at Lemar’s lifeless body. You saw Karli and her group starting to make a run for it.

Sam and Bucky made a chase for her immediately. John handed Lemar over to you before he sprinted for the window in front of you.

You could see the look of vengeance on his face and knew it didn’t bode well. You gently laid Lemar on the ground before waving your hand with your energy flames and placed it on where his heart was.

Rest in peace.

Your energy flames dissipated into his uniform and you stood up to follow behind John. You managed to catch him chasing after one of the Flag Smashers ahead of you. He was throwing his shield with brute force to knock the guy on his feet. You saw how the man was pleading for his life, claiming that he was not the one who killed Lemar.

John placed a foot to hold the man who was flailing his arms desperately. In a blink of an eye, he brought down the very shield that was used to protect people onto the man.

“NOOOOOOO!” You cried out in an attempt for John to stop his actions but it was too late.

Your eyes widened in unbelievable shock at what just transpired. When John lifted up the shield, you saw the blood that stained the legacy of the shield- Steve’s legacy.

You turned to see that a crowd was formed and people held out their phones to record what had happened. It didn’t sit well with you to know that in a matter of seconds, the whole world would also be watching this horrific scene too.

-------------------------//---------------------------

Tag list: @tanyaherondale @spookycereal-s @cataves @archaeoheart @conflicted-noxsirius @archaeoheart @idiotinnit @anxious-stitcher @lindseyrae20 @mads-weasley

[wanderingwomanwondering]

Home & Away 504 Buddie Business

aka What’s All This Then?!!

This post is VERY long and has no gifs, but please bear with me.

It’s been like 20 hours and I’m finally able to form coherent thoughts. Whew boi! So, Home and Away was a lovely stepping stone on the Buddie road. Many elements of the storylines in the episode feel very connected to Buck and Eddie’s journey together, in addition to the famous Balcony Scene. I do talk A LOT about that particular scene in the last half of this long ass post bc how in the world could I not!! Pretty sure I’ll be talking about it for the rest of my life lol

Athena & Bobby

Athena is frantically cleaning, trying to reclaim her own sense of home and also to create a place that she feels she can bring Harry back to. We remember that Eddie has a mess in his home too. The messes Athena and Eddie have are different but similar. Both Eddie and Athena are people who push their true feelings down, or worse, are completely unaware of them until they boil over. It’s important that we see Athena looking calm and collected until she’s totally not. Eddie went through something similar with his panic attacks. Of course, thanks to his interactions with Buck in 501-503, Eddie’s come a long way in terms of at least acknowledging some unresolved issues in his life, but Eddie still has work to do. We of course know that Athena does too. She suffered a huge trauma and has never fully let herself process all of the complexities and nuances of it. Eddie is the same way. “Just moving forward” not realizing that dealing with our feelings and traumas is HOW we move forward.

Bobby, Athena’s husband of course, is there in 504 to draw out Athena’s fears and to hold/comfort her as she starts to confront her anxieties. The scene with Bobby and Athena played out right before The Balcony Scene with Buck and Eddie. They are the big banner focus of the show in general. Their actors are both EPs and they are both usually featured on major promotional materials. We can use them as a flag for things to pay attention to in terms of themes that will flow through the entire show. I think it’s fair to pay attention to how things happening with them are also happening with other people, especially Buddie.

Athena falls apart in Bobby’s arms and he helps her to begin healing. The Balcony Scene shifts that energy and is much more lighthearted (even though Buck is nursing that black eye). Still some serious conversation is happening between Buck and Eddie, both the literal conversation and the figurative one.

Maddie & Chimney

Chimney is coming UNGLUED y’all, and I hate to see my dude in pain, but I’m here for every second of it. I was unravelling along with him every time he was on screen. Chim is so distraught over Maddie’s departure that he openly weeps in front of strangers...and punches his good friend, soon-to-be brother-in-law and coworker. Chim is Maddie’s boyfriend and the father of her child. OF COURSE HE KNOWS HER IN A DIFFERENT WAY than Buck. He knows more about the ups and downs of her PPD. He knows more about her struggles with Doug and eventually killing him. He knows how she felt about the money she got from Doug’s estate. He knows that if she took ANY of that money, she has gone off the deep end. He knows that it a way that Buck does not and could not because Maddie shields Buck from most of her serious issues, like any parentified older sibling would.

More under the cut...

Call me crazy but Chim’s desperation to save Maddie really did remind me of Buck in Eddie Begins and in Survivors. But where Buck was (at least outwardly) fixated on saving Eddie’s life, Chim is bringing that same energy to saving Maddie’s heart and mind. In season 5, we are seeing Buck slowly make the transition from having Eddie’s back in terms of his life and physical safety to also BEING BY HIS SIDE EMOTIONALLY. We are not quite there yet, but I think we are on our way. I’ll say a little more about this in a minute.

May & Harry

This scene between siblings was the sweetest thing I have ever seen and I could barely contain the awws as I watched. May brings Harry ice cream and 100% accepts and normalizes his feelings. She then tells him that burying his feelings is not a good solution. This is the theme of the season. Feelings will be out and and about in big ways for this entire seasonal arc I think. No one will be playing it nice or hiding their truth.

In terms of Buddie, this is HUGE. May puts into words for Harry what Buddie needs to hear and start to work through. Back in season 4 when Buck was talking to his therapist, he confessed that he hides his true feelings from others. That seems counterintuitive, given that Buck is the main character in the show who wears his heart on his sleeve. What could he be hiding? I’m hoping that all his hidden emotions surface this season.

The Balcony Scene (trademark, all Buddie rights reserved)

In terms of specific and direct Buddie content in the episode, we have the balcony scene. Oh. My. God. It was a short scene but it did A LOT of work. I said in another post that the balcony as a location is symbolic of Buck and Eddie entering new territory in their relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, they do tend to talk to each other about life events and emotions a lot together, but frankly, it’s usually Eddie the friendly advisor focusing in on Buck’s emotional issues. That works for Eddie because he cares about Buck AND he is someone who will happily use someone else’s problems to avoid his own. 

The talk they had in the firehouse about A*a was one of the most intense emotional conversations that they have had that was completely focused on Eddie. That conversation started as a conversation about his physical health because up until that point Buck thought it was a possible heart attack. That conversation then turned to the real issue which was panic deeply rooted in Eddie’s emotional health and unfulfilled need for his own happiness. 

That firehouse conversation between Buck and Eddie was the beginning of a deepening emotional and eventual romantic relationship between them I think. As a continuation of that, even more foundation for a new kind of relationship was laid during their talk on the balcony. On the surface, that conversation looked like more of the same: Eddie focused on Buck’s physical and emotional needs. But when we scratch the surface a little, we can see that Eddie’s points about Maddie and Chimney apply to Eddie and Buck in a way.

Buck looks up to Maddie and sees her as the person who has it all together and will always be okay. He sees her as the caretaker. Eddie points out that Chim gets to see a different side of Maddie. Chim gets to see the Maddie that needs to be taken care of. This is the heart of the new territory that the balcony represents for Buck and Eddie! Buck has already gotten a sneak peak of this with Eddie during the prelude to the A*a break up that he started by having that talk with Eddie, but the balcony is the next level...even if still subtextual. Eddie is talking about himself. He IS Maddie...and he kinda over it. Just like Buck is over being A*a. He needs a romantic partner who is his equal and who sees him as someone who sometimes needs to be taken care of. We all need that from time to time and Eddie is no different. But I’m not sure how much he consciously realizes that, hence the Maddie cover lol.

This balcony conversation is using subtext to invite a shift from bro-pal friend dynamics (which usually places a considerable amount of distance between two or more men, thanks heteronormative hypermasculine mandates on male friendships! *all the sarcasm*) to deeply emotional romantic partner dynamics, like what especially Maddie and Chim have. Eddie is subtly and subtextually asking Buck (and himself) to move into the new, unexpected, and unfamiliar territory in their relationship. I’m screaming. Please hold...

Blocking & Placement in the Balcony Scene

Okay so then we get into some of the symbolism of blocking and physical placement in the scene. In another post, I noted that the scene is shot so that Buck and Eddie look close together, because they are emotionally. Eddie understands Buck like no other. He sees him. He gives him like 10 fond looks during the precious few minutes of the balcony scene. Buck looks vulnerable throughout and IS very much so. He’s worried about Maddie thanks the Eddie helping him see that there is more going on with her than meets his eye and he’s worried about his relationship with Chim whom he honestly didn’t want to cause more pain. Eddie sees and knows all of this and he offers comfort and a few laughs to help Buck cope.

At the end of the scene, the camera pans out and we see that they are physically quite far apart even though they are having an intimate and vulnerable conversation. This was a choice y’all. The best of choices. We will spend this season closing the distance between them. They will get closer. Honestly, there is no other explanation for the amount of physical distance between them, like it was irrational to be that far apart unless being that far apart was the point in some way. 

Also, bonus, we have all been raving about the scene where Eddie finishes making a point to Buck and Buck gives him That Look. I absolutely LOVE that Eddie’s beer bottle literally underlined Buck’s eyes. We were meant to see that Buck’s glance at Eddie was “new”. It marks this balcony scene as new territory!

Annnndddd still talking about blocking for the scene, Eddie is not fully facing Buck. Buck is facing him but Eddie is facing the kitchen. Remember Eddie’s kitchen is a mess and I know we like to blame A*a for that but honestly he messed up that kitchen all on his own, she just drew attention to the mess. I don’t care for A*a any more than the next shipper but there are lots of great reasons to dislike her *coughs* ableism *coughs* without pretending any of Eddie’s problems are her fault. Anyway, Eddie’s facing the kitchen and Fixer Buck is on his way to helping Eddie deal with his own mess, whether either of them knows it yet is a different story. So with Buck and Eddie facing interesting directions in the scene and with the wild amount of physical distance between them, I think their positioning is saying something to the audience. 

Keep in mind too that Eddie is Maddie in this conversation and Buck said earlier in the ep that Maddie likes to distance herself from her problems. So does Eddie. Mans went to an entirely new country to avoid his marriage to Shannon, what’s a few feet on a random LA balcony lol. Buck is sitting and Eddie is the one doing the walking around in the scene, so he’s the one who has placed all that physical distance between him and Buck! He sees Buck as a problem on some level. We gotta ask why? What’s the real problem? Could it be his growing attraction to his bestie?? Buck’s underlined desirous gaze says hell yes.

This entire episode beautifully shows how they are at home with each other AND YET still far away from each other. The friends to lovers energy is through the roof.

Thanks for sticking with me and this long ass post to the end. DISCUSSION IS WELCOME!! 

But do it before I throw myself into the sun because I can’t handle anything that’s happening in this show right now, especially the amazing Buddie content! OMG!!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - An Overload of Cute

July 2022 Wk 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Triage (grey) Ep 13 fin - Sing & Gap turned out to be the true heroes of this story. I liked Triage a lot, I thought the plot was good if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry, and the support characters were likable (or unlikable as required). I feel much as a did with Manner of Death, which is to say: this feels less BL than it does gay romantic suspense. If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot. However, I’m into BL for the romance and the rewatchability, and this had very little of either, so I’m giving this: 7/10 RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS, but I rate it knowing this is going on many people’s best of the year lists, and I totally understand why. Full review here. This author has another BL in the works (the one with Fluke but no Ohm) titled Make a Wish which seems to be a lighter medical fantasy about a doctor who can see ghosts. I’m looking forward to it. 

Vice Versa (Sat on YouTube) Ep 3 - The show is a little bit confusing but it’s very engaging (and I don’t mind having to suspend my disbelief while the characters figure out the world-building, I come out of SF/F so this feels natural to me). We are on ep 3 and they’re already in the bath together? GMMTV what has happened to you? I’m shocked I tell you. Shocked. (Also delighted, of course.) Am I the only one really enjoying VV? Maybe, but I am really enjoying it. I should remind you all that magical realism is one of my favorite sub genres of BL. I recently re-watched Color Rush and yes, it is still one of my favorites of all time.

Love Mechanics (Sun WeTV) Ep 6 - One of the few Thai BL‘s that’s still working for me right now, and it shouldn’t be. What can I say? YinWar win the Great 2022 Chemistry in Bad BL Wars (TM) 2022, even over BounPrem. Vee is an arse. It was very satisfying to watch Mark punch him (I rewound 3x). Might be one of my favorite moments of the week. Mark standing up for himself at last was great, but he should’ve broken up with Vee for at least one ep. You know I want my semes to SUFFER.

Coffee Melody (Mon Viki) Ep 2 - Aside from very Thai pacing (read: SLOW AF) this show almost has a Korean feel to it (in the Behind Cut vein). Jean is MINE, I love him so much. I’m not wild about the lead though. (I keep getting Sunoo of Enhyphen vibes off him, is that just me?) Frankly, this show is v pretty but a bit boring, even Pavel in an apron isn’t saving it for me. But I’ll keep watching for this sparkle: 

Unforgotten Night (Weds on GaGa) Ep 5-6 - It’s just terrible. TRASH WATCH (up to ep 4) IS HERE! 

Check Out (Sat IQIYI) Ep 7-8 - The amusement park date that never ends. I watch this show 1.5x speed and I’m still skipping through most of it. It got somewhat pleasingly traumatic in the last five minutes, but I could not care less. That’s (prequel) ep 0 was so good and I wish that was all we ever got. The fact that the rest of this series has failed to live up the promise of that debut reminds me a bit of that first KP Trailer. Yes, I said it. I think I might DNF. (And I’m now really worried about Bed Friends.) 

Even Sun (Wed iQIYI) Ep 4-5 - I am so bored with this show. Just give us Between Us. We’re tired of all this other nonsense. If it weren’t almost done I’d DNF. 

My Secret Love (Sat YouTube Sat) Ep 9 - I am skipping everything that doesn’t have the Tim storyline in it. Also Pete is great, forthright and clear and sweet. I don’t believe his bad reputation. Anyone else keep thinking that the actor playing Tim would’ve made a great Dr Pha in 2 Moons 2? Just me?

New Thai BL universals rule? 

Story arcs with characters named Pete are always good. 

Despite an influx of new shows in August I am feeling the sudden inexplicable urge to rewatch Make it Right. Huh. 

His tongue! Come ON Shin, let some of us live, even if you can’t extend that grace to Minato.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry (Japan Weds GaGa) Ep 5 - I like this show so much I started a SQUEE WTACH ALONG (because it’s not a trash watch but requires so much thought and analysis). So I’ll stop overloading the weekly recaps here. So this week, there was an attempted make-out, a side dish manifested (yes, we love this for Asuka), and nothing has progressed but I am still fucking over the moon over this darn BL.  

Want to See You (Vietnam YT) Ep 10 - Look Bah Vinh just gives great sex scenes. It’s funny how many mismatches in chemistry we get out of Thailand, and this boy pretty much has good chemistry with anybody he acts opposite. I don’t know how he does it, but I am impressed. Did anything really happen in this episode? Nope. Does anything ever really happen in the show? Nope. Are they serving up prime domesticity? Of course they are. This is Vietnam, you get what you pay for.

Senpai, Danjite Koidewa! (Japan Fri Viki) Ep 6 - It was a fun confession and a sweet if chaste kiss. But I don’t think I’m ever gonna like this show very much. It’s OK but the premise makes me uncomfortable. I look forward to the flash forward a year next ep, hopefully the uke has developed a backbone and gotten over his hero worship.

In Case You Missed It

Gameboys 2 is on GaGa now... for some, not me, tho. 

Semantic Error the movie (a repackage with extra content) is being rolled out into actual theaters first (Korea, Taiwan, and Japan so far). So unlike the other Viki movies, we will have to wait for it. Hopefully not FOREVER like Cherry Magic. 

Love of Siam stars, Mario (in the same shirt as the movie) and Pchy, reunited in an equal rights event in the middle of Siam Square. Love of Siam released in 2007 (Nov 22 will be its 15th anniversary). It’s wildly considered Thailand’s first BL. 

About Youth dropped a trailer finally, it looks SO GOOD! Like Taiwan’s Love Sick. This is one I’ll be motivated to track down.... somehow. 

Viki dropped the movie versions of Oh! Boarding House (review here) and Ocean Likes Me (review here). 

They also got and are distributing (to USA) DNA Says Love You which I adore and highly recommended (so if you missed it on GaGa go watch it on Viki, push through the first 3 eps, it’s WORTH IT, I promise.) 

Gossip

2023 Thai fundraising teaser dropped for a SF dystopian BL Wish You Luck  from Studio Commuan (new to me, they have another one coming next month: SELF the series) about a luck-stealer and an optimistic innocent trying to survive after a meteorite global destroyer. Stars Tonnam (Dr Sing in Triage) and Title (our beloved baby Nut from the Yearbook). Normally I don’t report on teasers but I LOVE THIS IDEA. Tropes include: sci-fi, dystopian, survivor, paranormal, country setting, tsundere/sunshine. trailer. (Not to be confused with Wish Me Luck which is about office workers.) 

@bluesandfilms​ reported in that the leads from Taiwanese BL Plus and Minus (review here) seem to be IRL dating. Warning: Their show has ended but they are both still doing promo. I checked their respective IGs (@.chenghao.shih and @.bbalin1000) and they look like an actual couple, but they are still tagging their couples’ shots with the show’s hashtag so... suspicious. Then again, actors are always ON. Anygay, I don’t read Mandarin, someone can confirm for me if they like. No formal statement has been issued from their agencies, but it’s Taiwan, they don’t haffa do any of this. I’m not being anti, just cautious. If they are together I wish them more success than most actor relationships. Also I *think* this would be the first gay couple to come out of a BL, are we surprised it’s Taiwan? 

Adventures in Miss Captioning

Been a while since I had one of these. 

“You don’t need to poke your face so close.” Technically the words used and placed are correct but also no one would actually say this in English. Except me now. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

War of Y starts Tuesday on AISPLY and/or GMT+8 YouTube. COPY A BANGKOK brings us 20 episode of Cheewin’s nonsense starring the boys from Y-Destiny and SCOY. If it’s easy to get hold of Stateside I’ll watch it but otherwise, I’m not fussed. 

On Cloud Nine (8 eps) a country-set atmospheric series from MindTrio starts Saturday. No idea on distribution, but since it looks sad I am, again, not fussed. 

21 Days Theory (8 eps) a high school BL from Rookie Thailand that looks to be high angst, messy, cheating, and a secret crush, starring Bever (En of Love: TOSSARA, The Best Story, Love Mechanics) and Tee (The Cupid Coach) starts Sunday. Probubly airing on Rookie Thailand’s YT channel. 

I have a list of all the BLs coming in August here. 

This week’s best moments?

Calling all us out, sheesh (Love Mechanics). 

Jean (Coffee Melody) my PRECIOUS CHILD who I love for ever and MUST protect. 

Side dishes in Unforgotten Night giving the show, and me, life. 

Don’t look so innocent, Shin, we all know what’s going on in that pretty head now, don’t we? (Minato’s Laundromat) 

Gotta stan the confident gay (My Secret Love). 

What can I say? (Vice Versa) 

Want to See You bringing the neck kisses. Thank you. 

(last week)

[anotherblblog]

Bad Buddy Rewatch Episode 12

There are no perfect sweet words Just listen with your heart to find The answer I've been searching for Love is nothing else but you

So this was the episode I watched day of and also it like finally clicked to me that it was a gmmtv show and therefore available to me subbed on youtube. I binged it on another platform but watched the last ep and this rewatch on YT.  Anywho, so I go into this episode spoiler free and very curious to see how it ended. Also I didn’t watch or the teaser for ep 12 wasn’t on the 11 I watched, so I didn’t know per se that they were breaking up. 

Anyway! final rewatch recap commences!

First frames: four years later -> me: “oh shit, they’re doing things”

awfully big bed you are sleeping alone in Patty boy :’{

Pran’s toothbrushing technique worries me

I don’t care for timeskip!Pran’s bangs, like I know there is only so much styling the can do to have these two play high school sophomores to 2 years post grad...

yeahhhhhhh getting older and going back to the old haunts can be a soul punch

mellow acoustic guitar version 

so does this mean Chang is married? is he even in the final arc?  wait there’s the “what was really going on montage” ok so he does show up in the finale

when he took the picture of the door, I was like “ok, so are they amicable exes or on a pause until they can fully support themselves?” cuz the picture to me gave away they were in communication 

Pat’s timeskip hair is very flattering 

some very careful framing and zooming in 

and we get the reveal and tis very cute and a nice call back to the Pran came home to be closer to Pat around the Pat almost quitting the play moment from before

just for giggles, I looked up the airports and they’re 45ish minutes apart. Not too too bad for an airport mixup but yeahhhhhhh 

and then once more with clarity! a time honored technique

just two Chang’s in passing. I’m upset

rub my shirt on my junk so you’ll know it’s real

and of course the 5 minute reunion sex

Pat’s dad is the biggest fucking turd

the ride to the last scene and post credit is a very fond farewell

I think ending with the kids trying out the 2 cans and string phone is a very nice touch and does move the use of the past kids up to rank two in flashback kids

Episode 12 Final Thoughts:

The last family scene and small incremental steps towards some sort of better future for their families but just as Pat’s mom says “it’s their generation now” I also feel as a corollary, that her generation must get their shit together to not be a hindrance so I take the sip, mail return, guitar return, and active avoidance/passive acceptance of the relationship to be them if not getting their shit together, getting out of their children’s way which is a very big step 

And I like that Pat and Pran were able to have their relationship and their families too

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but I thought that was a good pair of Casualty episodes! I didn’t catch who wrote the second one, but the first one was a Katie Douglas ep, so I suppose it’s no surprise I enjoyed it. She’s one of Casualty’s/Holby’s most under-appreciated writers, if you ask me.

So. Without further ado, my thoughts on the first ep:

It was lovely to see Lev happy for once. Although, unfortunately, his happiness only lasted for about 5 minutes. It’s been so, so nice seeing Lev finally get some semblance of focus though, after months and months of all the focus being put on ~poor little Faith~ or whatever. Faith wasn’t even in this first episode. Lev actually got to be in the spotlight. Now THAT’S the content we deserve, if you ask me. Also, I know it’s unprofessional or whatever but personally I’m all in favour of Lev being in his ‘punching homophobes’ era.

This applies to both episodes, but I’ll say it here: I thought the writing for Lev and Xander’s relationship was pretty well done, too. And Uriel Emil has undoubtedly proved that he is NOT the kind of straight male actor who looks like they’re mentally cringing the whole time whenever they have to do any vaguely romantically intimate scene with a man. Thank god. We have enough of that kind of straight male actor on the soaps already. Good on Uriel for just going for it.

Is the actor who plays Xander queer or not IRL, does anyone know? I know Uriel is straight, but IDK about this dude (whose name I don’t remember). I felt he was a bit less believable, but maybe he’s just not the best actor (no offence to him).

The patient storyline with that woman and the guy who always jogged past her house was wild. I loved it. In a real-world context I don’t think their interactions and the way they actually met would be very healthy to build a friendship/relationship from, but it made very entertaining drama, so I was satisfied.

Aaand Ethan’s Huntington’s is starting. Poor bloke. I’m not even much of an Ethan fan, but no one deserves to suffer from a disease like that. :(

The reveal that Ethan had been keeping a diary of his early symptoms, that this wasn’t the first time they’d shown up, actually caught me off guard. I was not expecting that at all. It was a very emotionally hard-hitting scene. And him pushing Fenisha away because he felt that he’d eventually end up just becoming a burden on her, and that she’d be happier with Matthew, was so very sad.

I hope Casualty handle this storyline well. I know they worked with a Huntington’s charity for the original storyline with Ethan and Cal 5 years ago - hopefully they’ve consulted them again for this.

Thoughts on the second episode:

So, Ethan’s Huntington’s is one of two big long-running issue stories starting this summer. That kicked off in the first episode tonight.

In this ep, we got the start of Jacob’s big storyline, the one they’ve been hyping for months. And as I guessed, it does indeed look set to be a coercive control storyline with him and Tina. She was angry at him for even talking to other women. She threatened to leave him if he didn’t do what she wanted. And she deliberately got herself hurt to make Jacob pity her and let her move in. Those are all classic red flags of an emotionally abusive partner.

I do wish Casualty had thought about the fact that Tina is (unless I’ve forgotten someone) currently the only Black woman on the show before they did this. It particularly looks bad when we’ve had Faith - a white woman - being abusive to Lev recently, too, but that behaviour wasn’t treated as abuse, it was treated as sympathetic. If there were another Black female character who was portrayed more positively, and if Faith’s behaviour had been treated as abusive too, I wouldn’t have a problem with this.

Other than those issues - which are more about the context the storyline is happening in, rather than the story itself - I think it’s very brave of Casualty to do this storyline. There’s very little recognition that men can be victims in abusive relationships, or that women can be abusers, and bringing awareness to this issue is a good thing. And I think picking Jacob, who’s often shown as one of the more “manly” men on the show, to get this story was a very good idea too - it shows that even men who society deems “too strong to be victims” can, in fact, be victimised.

I just hope, like with Ethan’s storyline, that they handle this right.

Faith continues to be a hypocrite, as per usual. She’s here telling Lev “you can’t go around punching people!” when you can’t go around trying to force your husband to sleep with you to “prove he’s not gay” either, but she still did! And she’s here telling Xander “you need to understand that Lev grew up in a culture where you’re not allowed to be gay” like she’s been understanding of that (which she hasn’t). Sighhh.

The patient storyline, with the man with Parkinson’s and his girlfriend, was pretty interesting. I thought the male actor (I don’t know either of their names...) wasn’t great, tbh, but the actress playing the girlfriend was very good. This guest story also gave us an excuse to see Dylan again, even if only briefly, which was nice because he kind of disappeared these last few weeks.

Don’t have much to say about Robyn and the new receptionist guy, or about whatever’s going on with Charlie, as I’m not particularly interested in either of their characters. Also, this post is pretty long already. So I’ll let this be the conclusion to my review. :)

[soundsaboutrighttumblr]

WBL meta: Fighting Mr. 2nd, Ep 1

Just getting some thoughts out and sorted, join me if you wanna:

Topics this meta ramble will touch on: The sexual aggression in Shu Yi’s anger and the misunderstanding/cheating; Shi De’s regret and masochism and still carrying it all alone, that last scene, some minor speculations about DAD. 

This all is written under the assumption that Shi De did not cheat, but that somehow Shu Yi came to the conclusion that he did. If alone by seeing him with that woman and child after one year, or if some additional forces might have been at work to convince him so.

Shu Yi’s Dad, the trailers make you look bad, maybe it’s just the way teasers work and you will be abdicated from those suspicions, but for now, I assume it’s you meddling in some way or other, may your intentions be what they will. I still suspect it was you who got to Shi De after 2 years when he first came back, and appealing to his responsibility -and guilt -for Shu Yi, to end it now when he is getting over you, rather than to give him that difficult life with a man at his side.

So there might also have been some strewn in comments to Shu Yi about Shi De moving on with someone else, at the one year past mark, feeding into the cheating narrative, or something more solid, that Dad gave Shu Yi, I just think it must have been a little bit more than just seeing him then, to believe it enough to completely retreat and call it off.

Not much though. Because as the notes about being young and immature say, the distance alone between them makes them unsure. In a way that they might never have been unsure, had they been in the same room, which is important for the last scene in this episode, because here Shu Yi visibly struggles to reconcile the Shi De that’s so earnest in front of him, and that he must remember from before, with the big statements of love and forever and those eyes, that Shi De that really has a hold on him, with the one that clashes with it, the one he build up in his mind over 5 years to get closure and protect himself, the one bastard that cheated and is lying to him.

Shi De has no fucking clue though. He operates under the assumption that his only ‘crime’ is to have taken 5 years instead of months and having made Shu Yi wait. Mind you, he regrets that alone so much it buries him under all the guilt and regret, and masochist that sometimes he is at heart, he rather takes all the general blame for it all, anything that Shu Yi throws his way, than to defend himself in the face of Shu Yi’s anger, because yes, he feels the anger is valid, even if it takes on that tone that his mind protests, his heart still is willing to take all the blows. From that anger that he still thinks is the anger Yu Xin has warned him about, that, even if blown up tenfold, he shouldn’t take to heart, and just has to weather out with determination and staying by Shu Yi’s side, even if it is reasonable bigger than just a minor fight.

He gets really confused by the sexual aggression of Shu Yi’s attacks, though, because doesn’t understand why Shu Yi would take that tone for his anger. For Shu Yi, I think it’s about hurting Shi De in that way that Shu Yi felt hurt by his cheating. Sex with somone else was assumedly used to hurt Shu yi, now he’ll use sex to cause Shi De hurt and degrade him someow, it’s a fuzzy connection but I think one that Shu Yi makes somehow.

The ‘women are better’ speech is as much to belittle and provoke Shi De as it is directed at the cheating situation, which of course flies by Shi De, because he didn’t, doesn’t even know of that suspicion or verdict. The fact that he is so confused by it makes me even more sure, he did not cheat, would never, come one, only you. He actually says that Shu Yi can be mad, but that he doesn’t have to do it that way. So, no, he doesn’t understand what warranted that fierceness, that specific brand of anger from Shu Yi, and when Shu Yi calls it hatred, not anger, that’s not just a slap to the face, it’s a punch to the gut, and damn, Sam that acting, I physically felt your exhaustion, the reigning it in, the picking your jacket and yourself up from the floor and soldiering on.

The same confusion is in that last scene of the ep, about why Shu Yi would take that tone of sexual provocation, why make it that and bring that into their power play. But I think I’ll type an extra paragraph or two on that perfect scene.

The conclusion to this is for me, that Shi De is still so stuck in that carrying it all alone mode, the love, the guilt, the blame, that something HAS to give in the next episodes to let him grow out of it. He might have to break down first, to do so. So yeah, that next episode is gonna be whew.

That Scene.

Maybe it stands out to me so much, because I was about to write something quite similar as fic during hiatus, but I wanted to see what they did first. They practically took that dynamic I had in mind and made it heart crushingly beautiful with their faces and everything.

Shi De choses earnest determination as his weapon coming into this, Shu Yi, after offended shock, again takes to sexually loaded power play. And damn, all that happens on Shi De’s face when Shu Yi comes close, and later touches him. There is so much confusion still, about why Shu Yi would take that sexually charged approach to this, for Shi De again it doesn’t make the sense that it does for Shu Yi.

It is clear Shu Yi is making this a sexual provocation again, and his ‘want me back? Okay.” has a most obvious catch, and Shi De is trying to figure it out while being overwhelmed by having Shu I within reach and still so far away.

I don’t think they’ve let roughness like this into their sexual experience up to this point, passion, yes, but when Shi De hits the desk, you can tell from his face, this feels off, this is new, he can’t place it again, the why.

The moment Shu Yi says ‘give it to me/let’s do it’ is the moment he delivers the push that makes Shi De fall onto the desk, that makes it clear that this is actually less about sex, but more about power play, even if Shu Yi masks it in sexual gestures. He is never prepared to go through with it, I believe, which explains his sudden retreat once Shi De actually agrees. Which is the most disarming, subversive move, and Shi De intuitively knows to take it and break through Shu Yi’s defenses and his act that way.

Shi De is so conflicted, though. Imagine the touch that you want so much, have missed so much, but in that aggressive, instrumentalized way, that feels wrong and still you are overwhelmed with how much you want it and what you’d give for it. Still all the while Shi De is trying to read Shu Yi, can’t understand his choices because he misses crucial information, but is trying to get through to him nonetheless. When Shu Yi caresses up Shi De’s face, Shi De’s puzzlement, and pain, and longing, and being torn and confused… it’s all there, and damn. Wow.

I don’t think ‘giving it up to the other’ means something derogative per se for them, what makes it this utter provocation is that it is voiced as that claim through that anger. Like, do you dare? Do you dare to let me f… you when I am angry like this? When possibly the have never done THAT before? And Shu Yi only expects a no, because somehow it would be a betrayal to everything they did before at least in my head canons. Because the base is wrong. Roughness needs to happen on a base of total trust, and that is just not there in that situation, they are not equal, and Shu Yi doesn’t expect Shi De to submit in that way and give ‘himself’ up.

So when he says yes, Shu Yi is completely confused and out of his depths.

And with the walls suddenly torn down, Shi De dares to make that statement, one that ‘old’ Shi De would have made: I can do anything for you. And he has Shu Yi by his very heart then. The hold and connection might break again in the next minute, but right then, Shu Yi is completely disarmed and in Shi De’s grasp.

And so confused, because all this and his own reaction doesn’t fit into the persona he made Shi De into in his mind those last 4 years. The scheming one who cheated and lied and played with him. The one he maybe built up meaner than necessary to protect himself of the pain. This is the one he remembers too, but pushed aside, the one who talks earnestly about his love, and never seems to waver in that love. They just don’t go together, and Shu Yi is so confused.

I don’t think sex is going to happen from this scene’s continuation. But boy that scene. Shu Yi will probably snap out of it and revert to anger one more time, but a dent is made. There’s cracks in both their composures and way of handling things now, and it will have to break.

And woah, am I hyped for more. Show, you’ve raised my expectations once more. Deliver, please.

 Not sure i will ever be done rambling about it, but for now, that’s it.

Feel free to talk to me about it, if you want 3

[happymetalgirl]

October 2020

Six Feet Under - Nightmares of the Decomposed

I wrote a full-length review of this disaster of an album earlier in the month, and yeah, wow. Between the phoned-in performances from the instrumentalists who have proven themselves far above this joke of a band and the half-assed production this would have been a pretty crappy album even without Chris Barnes’ milk-aged vocals. But he’s here, and he’s managed to actually get worse too, gasping his way through the whole album and littering it with these ludicrous “high” squeals that would make Smeagol sound like a more competent death metal vocalist. It’s the worst thing I’ve heard all year, and what’s worse, I don’t think Six Feet Under is stopping.

1/10

With that out of the way, let’s cleanse the pallet right away with some really good shit.

Greg Puciato - Child Soldier: Creator of God

Ever reliable in his artistically integrity, explosive former Dillinger Escape Plan frontman, Greg Puciato, has been pretty sonically and artistically adventurous since the honorable dissolution of the iconic mathcore outfit, his most notable music project being the ethereal, synth-heavy The Black Queen. This year, however, Puciato has gone fully solo for a full-length project, and something told me to get ready for a wild ride, and boy was I right on that hunch. Borne out of an exponentiated process of songwriting that produced songs Puciato deemed unfitting for any of his current projects, what was planned as a small release to ship these songs out of the writing room eventually spiraled into a full-blown debut solo album clocking in at over an hour. A lot of solo projects play like clearly indulgent amateur hour sessions from an artist whose ego has been boosted pretty well from significant success from their main project, leading them to overconfidently try their hand at music they have no business trying it at. And it’s often approached under the understanding that it is a victory lap, more or less, and a satisfaction of creative impulses for the sake of it. Sometimes the resultant material is clearly inspired and showcases a side of an artist that certainly deserves some spotlight. Other times it feels like being trapped in an awkward situation with an acquaintance where they just show you all their newest pedals and production software and you’re just stuck there watching them fiddle around while you nod along and offer the occasional “wow, that’s pretty crazy” every now and then while they don’t pick up on the obvious cues that you are just waiting for them to finish playing with their toys. While Puciato was open about this album being borne from the very creatively borderless mindset that so often damns solo projects, Child Soldier: Creator of God is an actual realization of the type of grand, genre-spanning album that so many solo artists envision themselves making and set out to create, and it’s hardly a whimsical, amateurish crack at the styles within either. Puciato’s foray into sludge metal, industrial rock, harsh noise, darkwave, synthwave, and shoegaze, (1) makes for a hell of a dynamic and exciting track list, and (2) shows a much deeper than average respect for and relationship with the styles being played here. This isn’t some frontman thinking his charisma can carry him through a whole rap solo album; this is a well-rounded artist (also a hell of a frontman, no denying that) giving the most comprehensive look yet into his creative mind. The album leaps around in patches of different styles, strung together mostly by ambient connective tissue of various types, all with a great attention to detail paid to both texture and progression. We get early patches of smooth ambiance, but also aggressive industrial and sludge metal, eventually moving to more soothing and meditative synthy stuff around the middle, finishing with some serene, Have a Nice Life-esque shoegaze. But really there’s no way to sum up this album stylistically without breaking down every single song on here, and that would just ruin the fun and the experience. You really just have to experience it for yourself.

9/10

DevilDriver - Dealing with Demons I

Embarking on a conceptual double-album, Dez Fafara and DevilDriver’s first installment in the pair is a scoop of the, indeed, slightly above average, but unfortunately still plain and predictable modern groove metal they always offer up. I’ll give the band credit for keeping the pace up and clearly putting substantial energy into the performances on this album, while also trying to squeeze in a few shake-ups to their sound, like the clear Gojira-inspired riffage on the opening track. The album loses steam, unfortunately, as its punches lose their impact as it goes on.

6/10

Anaal Nathrakh - Endarkenment

While certainly cultivating a unique sound, Anaal Nathrakh’s unholy fusion of nasty modern blackened grindcore with sweeter metalcore and melodic death metal elements has its mixed results. And while that might at first sound like a relatively critical assessment of the Brits’ eleventh album, I’d say that there is actually a lot to enjoy and take in for at least the interesting mix of styles, most of which are hits rather than misses as well.

7/10

Enslaved - Utgard

Having been a fan of a good amount of their recent output, especially 2015’s In Times, I came out of Utgard moderately disappointed with how infrequently Enslaved galvanized their potent brand of Viking folky, progressive black metal effectively; the few moments the band do channel their strengths cohesively and purposefully left me wanting more rather than savoring those moments.

6/10

In Cauda Venenum - G.O.H.E.

It’s hard to, and indeed seems kind of in just to, sum up a heaping prog metal serving like G.O.H.E., comprised of two 22-minute halves, in a capsule review, but that is kind of the format my current busy circumstances have forced me into. French outfit In Cauda Venenum made a self-titled debut in similar two-long-track fashion back in 2015, and the band’s gothic and somewhat theatrical brand of atmospheric post-black-metal is continued on their sophomore effort here, drawing the obvious comparisons to Opeth and Katatonia, as well as Der Weg Einer Freiheit, Numenorean, and Sólstafir, and apart from the more frequent sample usage and extra drawn-out songs, there really isn’t that much to differentiate In Cauda Venenum stylistically. The band’s second album, unfortunately, resembles so many others in the field with big aspirations and the same inadequate means of getting there.

5/10

Apparition - Granular Transformation

A much more bite-sized early two-track offering, Apparition’s debut EP offers a more promising glimpse into a heady, atmospheric, yet still visceral manipulation of modern death metal that I would be curious to hear in a more long-form format. In a genre as extreme as death metal in recent years has been, finding artists effective at working with negative space can be difficult, but the two songs on Granular Transformation showcase a formidable dexterity from Apparition that I think can take them places.

6/10

Molasses - Through the Hollow

While indeed marred by some rough performances on songs with sometimes more desert to cross than water to make it there, there’s an undeniable occult hypnotism about the Dio-era-esque doom metal hollow that Molasses ritualize their way through.

7/10

Death Angel - Under Pressure

While certainly an odd choice on the surface, Death Angel’s acoustic EP and cover of the famous Queen song actually comes out pretty alright. The acoustic version of Act III’s “A Room with a View” comes off with the energy of something like Rush whenever they went acoustic, and the original acoustic cut, “Faded Remains” isn’t too bad either. The acoustic format did not, however, mask the drabness of “Revelation Song” from last year’s overall disappointment, Humanicide.

6/10

Necrophobic - Dawn of the Damned

The Swedes’ melodic brand of blackened death metal is nothing if not thorough on the quintet’s ninth full-length, Dawn of the Damned, covering all the ground that their fans expect their style to cover and doing so with more compositional and performative stamina than their average contemporary. While the band’s broader compositional approach is akin to the beating of a dead horse, I can’t deny it produces some tasty motifs in the process.

7/10

Bloodbather - Silence

After coming onto the blossoming metallic hardcore scene in 2018 with a standard, but potent enough 14-minute EP, Pressure, Bloodbather are back with another 14 minutes of similar, yet less promising material, doing little to set themselves apart from or on the same level of the likes of Jesus Piece, Vein, Knocked Loose, or Harm’s Way.

5/10

Infera Bruo - Rites of the Nameless

The Bostonians’ fourth full-length is, at the very least, a rather well-executed forty minutes of modern black metal a la Craft or Watain, but beneath the seams the band’s progressive tendencies twist what would otherwise be a fresh, but standard, slab of black metal into a more head-turning offering of the usual shrieks and blast beats.

7/10

Touché Amoré - Lament

While somewhat shaky in their compositional exploration in their fifth LP, the firmness of their emotive post-hardcore foundation allows for Touché Amoré to build upwards relatively steadily without losing that raw vulnerability that has made them so captivating to begin with.

7/10

Gargoyl - Gargoyl

This is the self-titled debut from Bostonian four-piece Gargoyl; a novel blend of dirty nineties grunge and gothic prog metal, Gargoyl come through with one of the more impressive genre fusions of the year, meeting the lofty sufficiency for dexterity with excessive vocal harmonies in a manner so uncanny that would make habe to Layne Stayley proud. While there is the expected room for improvement on the compositional end that many debut projects come with, Gargoyl have laid the groundwork for themselves fantastically and started off on a good foot.

7/10

Crippled Black Phoenix - Ellengæst

Through creative gothic flair and full-bodied guest vocal contributions that bolster the somber atmosphere beyond the typical post-metal album, the UK band’s most recent offering of “endtime ballads”, despite its few low points that undo its otherwise immersive atmosphere, serves as one of the more engaging releases under the broader post-metal umbrella of the past year.

7/10

Wayfarer - A Romance with Violence

The Denver-based quartet follow up 2018’s strong emotive case for the potential for evoking cathartic power of the atmospheric black metal which has so saturated the American scene to the point of numbness, their Americana-tinged third LP, World’s Blood, unfortunately, with a fourth LP whose compositional homogeneity and mere few intermittent bursts of enthralling atmospheric instrumentation more represent, rather than advocate the merit of, the saturation of the American atmospheric black metal scene.

6/10

Armored Saint - Punching the Sky

Though I think the structural homogeneity and John Bush’s similarly limited vocal delivery holds it back, with crunchy bangers like “Do Wrong to None” and “My Jurisdiction” alongside more tempered tracks the clearly grunge-influenced “Lone Wolf”, Bush and company provide a relatively stylistically diverse traditional heavy metal album for an age that could use more contemporary representation of classic styles (beyond the entire stoner metal genre LARPing as Black Sabbath too).

7/10

Spirit Adrift - Enlightened in Eternity

But it's not just the old guard representing their era of classic heavy metal robustly; a year and a half after their energetically melodic third album, Divided by Darkness, which took a triumphant melodic approach to classic heavy metal and doom metal similar to that of Khemmis on their excellent third album, Spirit Adrift ease up a bit on the hyper-soulful approach to guitar melody that had led me (and others I'm sure) to draw the comparison to Khemmis, and instead dive deeper into the headspace of the genre's earliest progenitors to achieve that unabashedly glorious rallying cry that is evoked by the very front cover of Enlightened in Eternity. While I am personally pretty partial to the very vulnerable and heartfelt melodic approach that characterized Divided by Darkness, the effectiveness with which Spirit Adrift are able to wield the sometimes Maiden-esque, sometimes Testament-esque sounds of the 80’s on this album is undeniably impressive.

8/10

Fever 333 - Wrong Generation

Providing the correction to this generation’s answer to Rage Against the Machine (after Prophets of Rage’s insufficient attempted revival) Fever 333 follow up last year’s debut of heavy, fired-up and modern take on rapcore with another 14 minutes of righteous anti-racist hardcore anger that’s attuned to the issues to a level that I wish more artists would at least express in their art. While the EP is 18 minutes long, the last two songs, “The Last Time” and “Supremacy”, don’t match the sonic energy of the first six tracks. The somber piano-led snippet-length ballad, “The Last Time”, should have been the conclusion of the album, but the closing track, “Supremacy”, while as conscious as the tracks before it, is basically a late-stage formulaic Linkin Park track that flatters neither of the two bands. Despite botching the landing though, Wrong Generation is a ripping batch of songs that well represent the current unrest and provide a positive hypothetical idea of what it might be like if Rage Against the Machine were in their prime and active today.

7/10

Mörk Gryning - Hinsides Vrede

The Swedes return from their 15-year disillusioned absence from the studio with a concise and clearly renewed enthusiasm for the energetic black metal that they put forth on Hinsides Vrede. Dynamically bolstered by folk-metal compositional tendencies and more than a dash of that famed Gothenburg melodicism (I know they’re from Stockholm and in fact their melodic approach often does heaven to that of their close neighbors from Uppsala, Watain), Mörk Gryning’s seamless return to music finds them jumping into the modern black metal scene’s advanced compositional rubric with relative ease.

7/10

Zeal & Ardor - Wake of a Nation

Having covered their output since their debut and being a big fan of Manuel Gagneux’ project, it pains me to say, especially given the noble pretext and occasional momentary flashes of sobering messaging, that this six-song mini release really doesn’t capture the unique sonic pallet that has made Zeal & Ardor such an interesting act to listen to for the past few years in the most flattering light. The title track is possibly the least of the offenders here, but all the songs here function by taking a little snippet of sound that samples Zeal & Ardor’s broader stylistic range, and drawing it out across these short, but all too minimally composed tracks in such a way that they lose their momentum very quickly. Like I said, I wholeheartedly appreciate, sympathize with, and support what Manuel Gagneux is doing to lend his band’s platform to the addressing of the dire issue of today’s racism through musical means with this project, and when its social motivation is at the forefront, it’s at its most potent, but musically, unfortunately, it’s just desperately underwritten in a way that doesn’t fairly represent how accomplished Zeal & Ardor really are with their sound.

5/10

Sevendust - Blood & Stone

The flashes of crushing grooves reminiscent of their earlier work on Blood & Stone that highlight how well Sevendust can harness nu/alternative metal to execute pummeling attacks with the right crunchy guitar tone, unfortunately, don’t come frequently enough on their twelfth LP to mirage the exhaustion that has come of the band’s writing process after such frequent, unrelenting output and the all too apparent desperate need for a recalibrating, refreshing break, which they certainly deserve for their tenacity.

5/10

Undeath - Lesions of a Different Kind

In one of those cases where the ridiculously gratuitous album cover actually represents the album’s sound quite well, Rochester, New York five-piece, Undeath mince neither words nor sounds on their debut LP in their 100% upfront, no-nonsense, and wonderfully nasty delivery of death metal. Eschewing even the slightest sense of snobbery or pretense for aimless ambition, the band simply compile the genre’s tried and true elements of bellowing growls, filthy riffs, mean-ass down-tuned chugging, and blood-pumping double-bass with blast beats into an addictive slab of raw, uncured death metal that serves as a testament to the merit of not overthinking shit.

8/10

Griffon - Ὸ Θεός Ὸ Βασιλεύς

On their sophomore LP, Parisian quintet Griffon channel the world innovative ethos that has become rather prominent in their scene into a somewhat short, but definitely sweet offering of modestly ambitious black metal that captures much more effectively than most albums of similar style and lesser imagination, the divine grandeur that the genre so often tries and fails to embody.

8/10

Bring Me the Horizon - Post-Human: Survival Horror

After taking the hard left into current pop music trends very transparently on their controversial, which was at least partially intentional on their part, and ultimately really patchy, but not wholly awful, 2019 album, amo, Oli Sykes and co. walk it back substantially for this smaller release here, back to That's the Spirit, even Sempiternal, a prospect that might get a lot of the band's more long-time, metalcore-centric fans excited, but I would suggest those fans temper their expectations of Post-Human: Survival Horror. The band reunite with the anthemic metalcore/deathcore that put them on the map for a good chunk of this album, and the intro track, "Dear Diary,", might even give some false hope of the prodigal sons returning home. But songs like the cookie-cutter single, "Teardrops", provide strong evidence that, while the band have re-embraced their old aesthetic, they have not kicked the pop vocal or compositional habits. And the project really does run out of energy in its final third because of this compositional homogeneity. I do want to highlight the song, "Kingslayer", which features a very in-form Babymetal (I loved their album last year), because their fun, not-so-serious approach to the crossing of J-pop and metal music in their feature on this track among the other songs around it provides a contrast to the more formulaic, disinterested radio pop swagger that Bring Me the Horizon have been trying to jam into their sound that could perhaps inform Bring Me the Horizon's artistic approach to integrating pop music if they really are so hellbent on doing so. Ultimately though, as much as they want to move into newer territory, this trajectory-revising release shows just how much more solid Bring Me the Horizon are in their metalcore territory than they were on amo. It had its predictable hiccups, but this thing wasn't too bad.

7/10

Pallbearer - Forgotten Days

With the slow, sludgy, down-tuned riffing of the menacing opening title track and the similar chug of “Vengeance & Ruination” being the sole exceptions, the remainder of Pallbearer’s fouth full-length largely sees them operating in the same niche they have in their three previous albums. And while this could invoke accusations of playing it safe, the brimming heartfelt sorrow and resistance to succumbing to despair across Forgotten Days is enough to wave that away, as Pallbearer showcase just how emotive doom metal can be.

8/10

Bleeding Out - Lifelong Death Fantasy

The very new act and fresh Profound Lore signing, Bleeding Out, certainly display more dynamic capability than your average local grindcore scene’s biggest names here on their 18-minute debut for the label, but as of now it is still just a glimpse of potential for more effective future implementation. It’s a good start, though, and I’ll be looking forward to a more long-form project from these guys.

6/10

Evildead - United States of Anarchy

Every year we get the resurrection of some long-inactive old-school band who seem to have found that missing spark at last; we’ve seen the return of smaller bands to the studio like Angel Witch or Sorcerer and long-awaited revivals of iconic acts like Possessed. This year, Los Angeles’ Evildead has seen fit to make their commentary on the massive ongoing sociopolitical upheaval. Despite my love for the 80’s thrash scene they were born out of, the combination of the utterly lame band name, logo, and covers for either their ‘89 or ‘91 albums never really made me want to check them out, but seeing the horridly cheesy and incoherent cover of United States of Anarchy (I mean how much more on-the-nose can you get), my morbid curiosity got the best of me. Maybe I’d be wrong to have judged them by their cover, plenty of my favorite 80’s albums have particularly goofy cover art. So what do we get from Evildead in 2020 with this fucking album? Well, it’s not as poorly performed as the past few Anvil albums I’ve had to review have been, but Jesus the lyricism is similarly cheesy 5th-grade-level stuff and smacks of silly political incoherence that essentially boils down to “enlightened centrism” with mix of that good ol’ Illuminati-conspiracy-theory belief that no political thrash album is apparently complete without. I mean there’s just basic acknowledgment of the prominent problems of the day and the fact that both major political parties are bad and that corruption is rampant all throughout DC, but Evildead not only barely scratch the surface, they apply the same level cynicism to the “both sides” they criticize with no substantiation to their criticism despite that mindset being a big reason for our being where we are right now, mixed in with the occasional conspiracy-paranoia about the shadowy underworld running everything, so no real solutions or even proper addressing of these problems. Like, the same level of criticism is levied at right-wingers and communists, like communists are at all why this country has gone to shit. And the generic Anthrax/Megadeth type of thrash instrumentation, while rumbly and mixed well to highlight its bass heaviness, doesn’t exactly make it easy to get past the commentary deficiencies on here.

4/10

Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou - May Our Chambers Be Full

Rounding off their year (at least I think), with a long-teased collaboration with Emma Ruth Rundle, Thou finally present their massive sludge-doom sound in a much more flattering light than the previous cover albums this year did. Thou's original material continues to highlight just why their relatively stiff sound is much more cut out for that, original material, than for trying to bend beyond its flexibility to tribute grunge songs. And while Thou being back in their more effective department, Emma Ruth Rundle's contributions, beyond just her gorgeous and ethereally haunting vocals, to the album's atmosphere, dynamic, and structuring really take the collaboration to the next level. Not to say that Thou are completely overshadowed and relegated to the background on this record or that they don't contribute to a fair share of the legwork here; the workload is shared pretty equally, and both collaborators have their moments of prominence, but Emma Ruth Rundle's ever-present gothic/folky influence really directs the music in a way that plays to Thou's strengths in a way I'm not sure they would have been able to on their own. It's great work from both of them, and I'd be eager to hear Thou find more collaborations like this in the future that push them into doing more interesting things with their crushing doom sound, as opposed to the rather tepid collaborations with The Body.

8/10

Auðn - Vökudraumsins Fangi

Sadly, three albums in, Auðn have only barely exceeded the bare minimum for naturalistic atmospheric black metal, with no signs of significant improvement to be found. The Icelandic band earn points for their earnest delivery, but they never seem to fully make it out of the rut that the genre’s many contemporary acts have dug.

5/10

Botanist - Photosynthesis

The black metal traditionalists might have had to accept that the floodgates to bright ambience and serene shoegaze in the genre have been opened and that there's no going back now, but even as an avid Deafheaven fan, I'm sometimes momentarily surprised at just how heavenly some black metal has gotten lately, and this new album from Botanist is one of those albums. And while it sometimes slips into some of the current wave's typical ruts, the sheer blindingly illuminating aura of this album when it reaches those high points (and it does so frequently) is enough to pull it out from those gutters and high into the cosmos. Yeah, another splendid offering of nature worship from Botanist.

8/10

Mr. Bungle - The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny Demo

Making their return after over a decade, Mike Patton recruits both Dave Lombardo and Scott Ian for the long-awaited fourth Mr. Bungle album, which is titled in homage to the first Mr. Bungle demo which it is comprised largely of much clearer re-recordings of. Ever impressive, Mike Patton balances aggression and eccentricity like a tightrope walker on this project too, while his bandmates do the same with thrash metal’s natural adrenaline rush while pushing the genre into new compositional and stylistic territory without sacrificing that crucial whiplash. It’s a great time, and definitely one of the year’s best thrash albums.

8/10

Carcass - Despicable

While they've been much less prolific since their reboot than they were prior, Liverpool's melodic death metal pioneers simply continue to demonstrate their excellence in this seemingly effortless four-track appetizer to next year's Torn Arteries. Anyone familiar with the band's brutal form of melodic death metal will certainly be pleased with the four quite sufficiently pulverizing cuts here; those who may only be familiar with some of the band's many less muscular imitators might be surprised, and pleasantly so, with the Englanders' ability to lay on the infectious guitar melody without sacrificing an ounce of force.

8/10