#and then in a different loop this happens

[justanotheryellowsoul]

Cannot stop thinking abt,,,,, them training together,,

[avelera]

I’m trying so hard not to have Arcane theories that would make me at all disappointed if the show went in a different direction, guys, seriously I’m trying SO hard to just focus on what they’ve given us and analyze that and NOT try to write fanfic in my head for what could happen next because I JUST want to enjoy what masterpiece they give us instead of being disappointed if I’m wrong…

… but GODDAMMIT if we find out that Jayce just broke out of a time loop, that would explain EVERYTHING:

- How quickly he killed Salo, a Councilor he used to work with, when Jayce is NOT a natural killer. He just said “I’m sorry too” as if he already knew what he would do and just did it. The decision making was too fast and too unlike him.

- The fact that APPARENTLY Jayce was muttering to himself, “I won’t fail again.” Like HELLO that is literally THE time loop line that is THE line people say when breaking out of the time loop. Did Jayce just break out???

- Does that mean Ekko and Heimerdinger are still trapped because they HAVEN’T found a way out yet? Or even pushed Jayce out so he could go save the day because he’s the one who has to do it?

- It explains how Jayce suddenly has the ability to see void creatures. He’s now experienced at fighting this future or these events and has more magical experience too.

- It explains how Jayce looks OLDER, not just bearded and dirty but actually OLDER. Also it’s such a time loop trope to go through various dystopias caused by getting it wrong and ending up in some Mad Max world which might explain the LEG BRACE, the guy has injuries he didn’t have but more than that he’s got injuries that he got a sophisticated ASSISTIVE DEVICE for. That would have taken TIME to put in place on him!

- His utter certainty that Hextech has to be destroyed. Early on when we first time we met Jayce he said his Hextech notes were HIS LIFE. And now he’s totally at peace with destroying it? Something is UP. He didn’t just see a few visions, I think he LIVED all the different possibilities OVER AND OVER. I think he’s had MULTIPLE TIME LOOPS to come to terms with having to destroy his life’s work.

- Speaking of life’s work, it ALSO explains how Jayce can just WALK UP and kill Viktor. No conversation. Barely any emotion. The shots of him fighting himself could be OVERLAYS of all the times he’s done this before. Which COULD mean we WILL see the version of Jayce needing to kill Viktor to save the world that we didn’t get this time, because it already happened in one or even HUNDREDS of other loops.

I mean I know I’m in fully conspiracy gif territory but I can’t get it out of my head. It fits so much of Jayce’s weird behavior. He’s DONE THIS BEFORE.

… oh shit we also saw hundreds of mirror images of him before he hit the Wild Rune, going back to the day he first saw magic. Shit guys I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment but WHAT IF.

Final note, all of Arcane S1 is about “what could have been” it’s scene after scene of turning points that all would have stopped the final scene with Jinx if they had gone different. The butterfly motif of the butterfly effect is everywhere. Could we FINALLY be getting the pay off for that by seeing Jayce live through a time loop alongside Ekko and Heimerdinger of all the OTHER possibilities?? It is Ekko’s power after all!

[caughtthedarkness93]

I've talked similar things before - that Hasbro WOTC seems like the only brand that actually benefits from this generic trademark situation they have.

So a generic trademark is when a brand becomes so synonymous with a specific type of product that it basically becomes another name for it. You've seen this phenomenon in action before - Velcro is probably one of the best examples. Velcro is a specific brand. The actual thing itself is called a hook-and-loop fastener. Same with tissues as Kleenex.

Most brands really don't want this to happen to them. In fact, back when I worked in news, I actually got a cease-and-desist from Bobcat once for when I printed a quote referring to a skid-steer loader as being "Like a Bobcat." The reason being that the more this happens, the less effective advertising a product becomes and if it gets to be consistent enough, you can lose the trademark entirely. This happened to the word escalator.

I'd say at this point D&D is pretty significantly a generic trademark, but what makes it interesting is that since they have a sort of pseudo-monopoly going on for a fairly niche product that has in itself become a sort of lifestyle statement, that generic trademark actually works to Hasbro's benefit. I'm D&D and WOTC critical enough that I won't play D&D anymore unless it's a really good friend running it or there is a pitch that I cannot ignore. 5e is a reason I turn a game down these days. You have to talk me into playing it.

Nonetheless, there are times where I find myself saying I run or play D&D or "It's like D&D" to those who aren't in the TTRPG community because if I say I play tabletop RPGs it takes 20 minutes to explain what that means, or I can just say "It's like D&D" and everyone instantly gets what I mean. I can follow that up by saying "Now it's not D&D specifically," and get into my issues with D&D, but that's niche stuff that people outside the hobby do not care about.

However, because TTRPGs are not an everyday convenience thing like Velcro or Kleenex, that name recognition overtaking the thing itself isn't really a problem for WOTC the same way it is for others. If you want to get into the TTRPG scene, you kind of have to take active steps to do so. And if you see D&D as being essentially synonymous with it, well, three guesses what game you're going to find first. It ain't Ars Magica, that's for sure.

Then the situation compounds itself. People don't get exposed to other games that do things differently, so the base assumptions that are part of D&D never really get challenged, and if people want to play a game in a genre that doesn't fit D&D, they get intimidated by the idea of learning a new system even though D&D is on the more complicated side of system design, and thus, the cycle repeats.

It's all to the benefit of a company that's honestly been pretty shitty to its customer base and has repeatedly broken its promises. It's wild how often WOTC does something that pisses off its fan community, walks it back, and then tries to do it again two months or so later.

Anyway, go check out other RPGs, there are a ton of cool ones out there.

Is it just me or like, do you ever get the feeling that D&D players are the product?

I think I get what you mean and that is a fascinating way to look at it. Like, the game as it exists in the books isn't the point of D&D, the point of D&D isn't playing the game, it's to be a D&D Player? Idk, but if you elaborate on this idea I would love to read more about it

[lqveharrington]

Silver Roses & Fallen Snow

11: The Manipulation (series masterlist)

summary: University finally began. You and Coriolanus fall into a routine that has you wondering if he’s really trying to gain your trust back or not.

pairing: young!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

includes: awkward silences, manipulation, mentions of death, death, mentions of murder, murder, gun use, shooting someone, paranoia cursing

wc: 3.5k+

a/n: so sorry for getting this out so late, i don’t even know if people still read this 😭🤷‍♀️

Coriolanus knew that convincing Adam Lovett to let him near you again during his wife’s death anniversary was borderline manipulative, but he had already spoken to Festus about it and offered his father a generous amount of money if he backed out of the arrangement, which they did. Not all that surprising.

His intentions weren’t to date you right off the bat, he wanted to slowly gain that trust back. Coriolanus wasn’t stupid. He knew you were going to get upset over the new arrangement, but how upset could you get when you still harbored feelings for him? At least he believed you did. That one boy he would see around you threw him for a loop. What was his name again? Flynn?

Luckily, University classes finally began and he knew you had more important things to worry about rather than his own plan and his treatment of your father. Besides, he wanted to get some more information before bothering you about the whole trust thing.

The routine you and Coriolanus fell into was the first thing that felt natural to the both of you in so long. It felt like comfort despite the painful tension. He would pick you up from the manor, walk you to and from your classes, and bring you back in time for dinner. It was like the beginning of a long dance you thought was over.

“What time are your classes done today?” Coriolanus fixed the cuffs he wore and adjusted the grip he had on his textbooks. His gaze drifted over to you, watching you fiddle with your mother’s necklace.

“Four. I have to stay behind and research for a paper I’ve been assigned way too early in the school year.” You murmur and meet his eyes. For a split second, you swore you saw the old person Coriolanus was. “Is Dr. Gaul keeping you late today?”

Coriolanus checked his watch as he began to slow his walk, eventually standing in front of your classroom. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your hair, causing your cheeks to flare in embarrassment. “No, I’ll be done by the time you are. She’s only checking my paper today.”

“Okay.” You sigh softly and look at his collarbone for the nth time this week.

The necklace he wore seemingly teased you every chance it took. You didn’t know if you were ever getting it back, and just staring at it gave you a fresh wave of calmness. There were several times you hinted to him that you wanted it back, especially with whatever arrangement he and your father conjured up behind your back. But nothing ever happened.

Coriolanus raised his brows at your gaze. He knew what you wanted, but he would use it when the time came. For now, you could have your mother’s necklace and he could keep yours. “I’ll see you later, beautiful.”

“Later, Coryo.” You murmur and part from him, only to fall into step with none other than Clemensia Dovecote. From the corner of your eye, you saw her send Coriolanus a confused look before coming over to you. “Clemmie.”

Clemensia gave you a smile before messing with her skirt, huffing at the texture. “How is it a new school and we still get tacky uniforms like from the Academy?” The dark blue and black made her recoil as if the Academy red was the only thing she liked. “Honestly…”

“It’s a new look. We actually have skirts now.” You hold your own textbooks close to your chest before taking a seat in the theatre-like room. Almost every room in the University was as big as a theatre, yet only a few students could attend every year. What a waste of money.

“Not that much of a difference.” She muttered and took her seat beside you. She took a second to recompose herself before turning to face you, eyes sparkling in interest. “How are you and Coriolanus?”

You blink at the sudden question before reaching up for your necklace, “Uhm, I don’t know. We’re okay.”

“You don’t know?” She furrowed her brows in confusion and studied you with eyes like a hawk. Clemensia knew not to pry so much, but she was there when they got together and was the main reason they eventually got together. She deemed it was also her business.

“He’s been… It seems like he’s trying too hard to gain my trust again.” You murmur and lean back into the creaking chair. You loved him for so long it was hard to not trust him. He was yours for so long that the smallest things he could do now only irked you.

Clemensia frowned, “Is that not good?”

“Something’s off about it, and I’m not sure if I’m just being paranoid or if it’s just weird not to run back into his arms after everything we went through.” You say quietly as your heart wept in your chest. All you ever wanted was Coriolanus and when he broke that trust, it was hard to get back to normality without the painful tension you both felt every time.

“Or maybe he really wants to make things right.” She spoke slowly, getting your attention back from falling deep into your mind. “Maybe?”

“Maybe.” You sigh and stare at your hands.

Clemensia had implanted a thought in your head. It followed you around the entire day like a mind bomb. So maybe Coriolanus truly was trying to make things right. However, you couldn't help but feel like something was going on. It was like a small seed of doubt was planted in the back of your mind that kept repeating that he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. Like he was going to do everything but that moral he had stripped away from him as a child. The same morals you had to teach him before he discarded them because he got involved in the Hunger Games. Who knew if he even had those morals still. You didn’t have the energy to teach him something he might look over any day.

“How was your day?” Coriolanus asked as you exited the library with more books than you came in with. He took the books from your arms and held them, nodding when you sent him a thankful smile.

“It was good. I got most of my work done today.” You flex your hands. The same ones itching to intertwine them with the ones next to you. “How was Gaul?”

“Horrible as always.” He muttered under his breath, somewhat terrified of being heard by the stupid birds. Even in the Capitol, he didn’t feel as safe as before.

You sigh and mess with your necklace, “I don’t understand why you still put up with her, Coriolanus.”

“It was the only way for me to get out of the Districts.” He spoke with a defensive tone, eyes hardening at old memories resurfacing. “It was the only way for me to get back.”

Choosing to stay silent, you followed the concrete path down the University campus, still playing with your necklace. Coriolanus pursed his lips and mentally cursed himself. He hated when you got quiet on him, it was one thing you kept from your childhood. He wasn’t sure if it was your own defense mechanism or not.

“What are you doing later?” He held a hand out for you as you descended the stairs, your soft hand in his. For a quick moment in time, you both felt your hearts beat louder than usual. As fast as it arrived, it left when you pulled your hand away.

You cleared your throat and felt the heat creep up your neck. “Uhm, I might go down to the gym and box with Finn. I’m not sure though.”

“I thought you were done with that?” Coriolanus’ face hardened at the mention of the other male, his free hand clenching at his side. So that’s what his name is. Finn. Coriolanus would have to visit him later. Preferably when you weren’t present and he actually had a plan for what he would do.

“Just because school started doesn’t mean I have to stop working on my form. Besides, I need to talk to him about… You know.” You wave a hand around in the hope he would get what you were insinuating.

“Right.” Coriolanus nodded and adjusted the books in his hold. “How is that going?”

You look down at your shoes and open your mouth before closing them. There wasn’t much happening, and now that you were starting school, you couldn’t put all your time and effort into your plan to avenge Sejanus. “Well, it’s been… It’s been going.”

That’s when the idea hit Coriolanus. He could hit two birds with one stone. “Well, I think I have information for you. I just have to confirm it.”

“Really? Do you actually have plausible information for me?” You ask in disbelief, eyes wide in interest. You had stopped walking and squinted at him, looking for any kind of distrust in his eyes.

He tucks another loose strand of hair behind your ear, watching you instantly melt but conceal it was a straight face. “If I can confirm it.” And from your straight face, your eyes lit up, causing him to let a small smile slide.

“Coryo, that’s amazing! If you can confirm it, then hopefully all of this wouldn’t be for nothing.” You let out a breath of relief. You were thinking about your whole plan to find out what truly happened to Sejanus and how it seemed so wrong to do. Now that Coriolanus had information that could possibly help, you could push forward. “Make sure to come and tell me, alright?”

“Of course.”

You were at Finn’s bakery, patiently waiting for Coriolanus to come by. He told you to meet him there since he had another business to attend nearby. You told him it was completely fine as you had Finn to talk to, but he wasn’t at the bakery either.

So you sat alone with a small hot chocolate and a croissant, watching the people walking by the bakery’s windows. You imagined different stories for each person. How their lives were so much better than yours. They probably didn’t grieve for the loss of the tributes or complicated relationships.

Just as you checked the time one last time, the bell above the door rang and your eyes zeroed in on Coriolanus’ blue ones. You scanned his figure and noticed that his clothes were rumpled and sweat-coated his brows.

“Did you just come back from a run?” You hand him your handkerchief.

“No, but I did gather the information for you.” He sent you a tired smile as you found interest in what he had to say. “I know someone who aided in the murder of Sejanus.”

Your heart clenched, your fingers messing with your mother’s necklace. “Who?”

“You won’t like it, beautiful. You already know him better than Sejanus did.”

Your face fell and your heart sped up. There were only a few people who Sejanus spoke to in the Capitol, you and Coriolanus were his closest. So who would… No, it couldn’t be him…

“Phineas Miller helped Sejanus’ murder,” Coriolanus murmured.

At first, all you wanted to do was cry. You wanted to cry at how much Sejanus’ death impacted you and how Finn might be involved. You didn’t believe it. Finn was nothing but caring, he had Sejanus’ word, handwritten and everything. You needed physical proof, which was something Coriolanus didn’t have.

A week after you found out about how Finn could be involved in Sejanus’ murder, you and Coriolanus decided to look around the gym for any indication and information. You knew Finn spent most of his time at the gym, so it would make sense if he hid something away at the place.

It was already close to midnight when you arrived at the place and all the lights were shut off except for the lights outside. You and Coriolanus slipped inside the gym and before you could leave his side to check the office, he placed a gun in your hands.

Stunned, you look up at him. “Coriolanus—“

“Just in case, okay? I doubt you’ll have to use it.”

You purse your lips and nod, placing your fingers on the safety as he instructed. He left for the file cabinets by the boxing ring while you entered the main office with an off feeling.

It wasn’t right to do this to one of your friends, but you had to know if Coriolanus was right. Besides, you’ve done worse. When you couldn’t find anything, you sighed and let your hand hang.

You bounded from the office feeling slightly dejected. Sure, it was wrong to snoop, but it couldn’t hurt just to make sure everything seemed okay with Finn. “Coriolanus, I checked his office! I don’t think he’s— What are you doing?”

“Oh, thank god! Y/N, this man is crazy!” Finn shouted toward you, completely ignoring what the scene looked like.

Your eyes drifted to the ground, spotting Coriolanus blocking himself from the gun being pointed at him. Furrowing your brows, you raced to Coriolanus and pulled him back., frowning when he winced.

“What the fuck happened?” You asked and looked between the two of them, eyes wide in confusion and terror.

“He tried to shoot me!” Finn screamed like a lunatic, his own eyes crazed in fear and adrenaline. “He’s playing with your mind, Y/N!”

Your heart started to beat louder and louder, “Finn, Coriolanus didn’t have a gun. He gave the gun to me.”

“What? No! No, he tried to shoot me with this gun!” He waved the gun in front of your face, making you stumble backward. “Do you think I’m lying? Do you think I’m trying to shoot your boyfriend?”

“Kinda.” You step in front of Coriolanus and help him up. “Finn…”

“No no no, do you think I did this?” He threw his arms in the arm, pointing the gun at you and Coriolanus again. “I would never violate your trust or Sejanus’. Do you really think I helped plan his murder?”

Your eyes glanced around the gym, landing on a file of papers. “What’s that?”

Finn turned his head and scoffed, “Those are your records with the gym.”

“Can I see them?” You ask before taking them out of his hands. “Thank you…”

You opened the manila file and sirens instantly went off in your head. These weren’t just your files. These were every single thing you did and the letters you sent to Sejanus. Everything related to you was in a singular folder.

“When did you get these?” You hold up the letters, tears springing to your eyes. “These belonged to Sejanus! I sent them to him when he was in the districts?”

“That wasn’t in there before, I don’t know what those are.” Finn glared at Coriolanus, pointing the gun at him again. “You’re framing me!”

”I’m not the one with a gun and screaming like a lunatic, Miller.” Coriolanus spoke slowly, stepping in front of you. He knew Finn wouldn’t shoot, but you didn’t know that with how hard you were clutching the gun he gave you. “Why don’t you just put the gun down and explain where you got this stuff on Y/N.”

“That’s not my fucking shit!” He screamed at the both of you and waved the gun around again. “I don’t know how it got in your files, but believe me, I would never violate—“

“Did you help the people from the districts commit Sejanus’ murder?” You whisper out, hand shaking as Finn shouts again in protest. This was the most riled-up you saw him, and it didn’t help that he had a gun pointed toward Coriolanus. “Finn—“

“You’re letting him manipulate you!” He let out a crazed laugh. “You believe your boyfriend’s a fucking saint? For trying to help you out with the case? You couldn’t just wait to get back to him, is that it? Because I’ve seen more restless nights of you crying over that piece of shit.”

Coriolanus looked back at you and his eyes instantly hardened at the sight of your tears. “Miller, stop it.”

“Why should I? I’m the only one being sensible right now!” He held the gun steady. “You need to get the fuck away from her before she cries more tears over you. I know who you are.”

“And what am I?” Coriolanus stepped away from you and kept eye contact with Finn.

Finn held his gaze, keeping his gun trained to follow Coriolanus. “A manipulator who would do anything to get back on top again.” He could see the shift in Coriolanus’ demeanor as he said it, keeping his distance despite the advantage. “You cheated in the games. And from what I heard, you did such a good job in making sure the peacekeepers in District Twelve. And what exactly did you do to get sent straight back to the Capitol rather than a higher district, hm?”

You listened to him, glancing at Coriolanus with wet eyes. All you knew was that he did his job and Dr. Gaul wanted to see him work for the games again. And you also knew both boys had a temper, so if one of them got too riled up, it was going to end up being a mess.

“I received perfect scores on my aptitude tests.” Coriolanus shrugged. He could feel the heat from your stare, knowing he had to play his cards right. “The general informed the higher districts and word spread back to the Capitol.”

“Are you sure?” Finn stepped around the ring. “Because usually being promoted to the Capitol means doing something so extraordinary. Let’s say, oh I don’t know, sending someone to their death. Someone who was also a peacekeeper. Someone like your supposed best friend, Sejanus Plinth.”

Your heart broke at the mention of Sejanus. Finn accusing Coriolanus only made it worse. You knew Coriolanus and Sejanus were the closest of friends, his reasoning wasn’t adding up.

“You think I sent Sejanus off to his death? He was my best friend!” Coriolanus threw his hands in the air, his tone defensive. “But you probably knew I didn’t do it. You just needed someone to throw the blame on.”

“Excuse me?”

Coriolanus let his facade fall for the smallest of seconds, a smirk decorated his bruised face. “You know a lot more than you let Y/N know. You knew about Sejanus’ plans even before she did, and how exactly did you know?”

Your fingers tightened around the gun’s handle. Coriolanus didn’t tell you anything else about Finn’s story except that he might be involved in Sejanus’ death, and he sounded like he would explain his whole life story.

He gestured toward the files, “By intercepting the mail and copying each letter. And it isn’t hard to intercept the mail when you’re district, Phineas Miller. You knew people on the inside, which gave you everything you needed to stop Sejanus before he could ruin your chances in the Capitol. You shouldn’t even be in the Capitol without the proper paperwork.”

The silence that stretched between the three of you was thick, each pair of eyes darting across the room in light of the new information. Coriolanus had ended up right back in front of you, half his body covering your view of Finn; who looked like he was going to shoot Coriolanus at the first given chance.

“You know, you really shouldn’t have said that.” Finn let out a humorless laugh and put his hands in the air. “Here I thought you were a manipulator. I mean, you are. But you’re so much more than that. You’re just so possessive over what belongs to you. You like being in control. You’re a fucking tyrant and fucking crazy.”

Your eyes instantly caught the look in Finn’s eyes and the way his hand tightened on the trigger. “Coriolanus…”

“The only reason the Hunger Games exist is because of people like you. People who think torturing others is fun.” Finn shrugged and made eye contact with Coriolanus, his eyes burning with nothing other than rage. “Well, I’d like to think I’m doing this country a favor.”

Finn pointed the gun at Coriolanus.

The gun dropped to the floor and his body, Finn’s body, dropped onto the gym floor. Blood pooled underneath him as you stared wide-eyed at him.

Your body was shaking as Coriolanus held your face in his hands, speaking to you but none of it was coming through. Coriolanus himself was bleeding from Finn’s initial bullet, but it was a graze. He was more focused on you and how you would handle everything that just happened.

“Hey, I need you to listen, beautiful.” Coriolanus looked between your eyes and tried to find anything that would tell him you were listening. “It’s not your fault, okay? We need to go and let the peacekeepers handle this. Can you do that?”

You nod but your eyes are trained on Finn’s lifeless body. His death was in your hands.

What have you done?

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[thytaenic]

⊹˚︵‿₊˚ʚɞ˚₊‿︵˚⊹ ʚɞ ～ ❝ 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 ❞ ╰‧₊˚ haikyuu : akaashi keiji x f!reader

╰‧₊˚ not proofread ! disregard my grammar error

"i think we should break up."

"keiji, w-wait.."

"WAIT!" your body jolted up, an arm stretched out as if you're trying to grab onto nothing. you were awakened from the dream you just had, sweating and breathing heavily. your eyes started to scan the room you're currently in, still breathing heavily. you noticed the room layout; it is indeed your room. a heavy sigh escaped your mouth as you replayed the dream over and over again like a video tape of a bad memory, constantly on loop and hunting you. it's not the first time you've dreamed of the same situation and it seemed to be engraved into your mind ever since the day it happened.

right when you were about to pull the comforter over your body, you heard a soft knock on the door of the room. fear started to engulf you as you recalled, you've been living alone for almost a year so who could that be? and at 2 am that is. suddenly, the door knob was turned and the door was pushed, revealing a silhouette of a familiar figure.

"i went to grab a glass of water, did i wake you up?"

you weren't sure how to react to the sudden reveal. it was none other than your friend, Akaashi Keiji. but he looked different, way more matured to be exact. questions filled your mind, what is he doing here? how did he get here? what is happening?

"k-keiji .." you muttered, eyes nailed to the male with a glass of water in his hand. "w-what are you doing here?"

he looked at you weirdly, but then a smile appeared on his face that you've missed so much. for years you've been waiting for his return after he left to further his studies. he walked closer to you, closing the gap between the two of you as he sat next to you on the bed, handling you the glass of water to which you gladly took.

"nightmares again? you really should stop watching horror movies before bed time, love." he chuckled, his hands now slowly making their way to yours, slowly and gently holding yours in his.

you're more than confused at his answer. love? you felt overwhelmed by the current situation as you felt a stream of tears rolled down your cold cheek. you wanted an explanation from him, you wanted more than just his presence there to soothe the stabbing pain in your heart. and so you bravely asked him.

"keiji, i don't understand. why are you here? a-and why are you in my room?" you bombarded him with questions, getting frustrated at the amount of unanswered questions in your throbbing head. you clenched your fist at your frustration and your sob grew louder as your head hung low.

akaashi was taken aback by your sudden outburst. he didn't know what has gotten into you. but he remained calm, his thumb caressing your clenched fist. this is all so wrong, you thought.

you raised your head only to meet his confused expression, probably not understanding why're you acting so weird. you had realised that your sudden tantrum put him in a position where he's questioning your sanity.

"y/n, i think you should sleep first." he tried to calm you down, gently pushing you to lie down but you remained frozen.

"but keiji , where are you going to sleep?" you hesitantly asked.

again, he was confused. he didn't know why were you so clueless considering that he remembered how you were completely fine before you went to bed. "what do you mean 'where'? of course i'll sleep next to my wife right here."

"h-huh..?"

your pace quickened when you noticed that you're running late to class. 10 more minutes before class and you're still on your way walking to the school.

"come on, come on. why are there so many cars today?" you cursed out, frantically tapping your feet on the ground.

not long after that, you felt a sudden gush of wind washed all over you. you glanced to your left side and your eyes met with a teenager on his bike trying to catch his breath from possibly the frantic cycling he just did.

"akaashi?!" you exclaimed.

the male turned his head to face you. his tie hung loose with the first two buttons of his shirt were left unbuttoned. you couldn't help but admire the sight before you, how his sweaty hair swung effortlessly from side to side and that good-looking face. who would've thought your childhood friend is actually a handsome young man despite his nonchalant side. but akaashi looked distressed, and in a hurry for sure.

"y/n? why are you still here?"

"seriously, that's your concern? you should look at yourself."

his eyes dropped to take a look at what you mentioned but he only sighed. he raised his hand and his watch stated '8.26'. that's 3 more minutes before the morning bell rings.

"get on."

"w-what?"

"i said get on, we're running late." he pulled your arm to the back of his bike to signal you to get on. and so you put your bag onto the empty seat behind him before sitting on the bag.

"just so you know, this is my first time ri- AAAA!" you were adjusting yourself to sit comfortably so you won't fall when he started cycling later, but that didn't really work when he suddenly sped up, causing you to quickly hug him from behind, holding onto your dearest life.

akaashi's smile turned into a smirk, one hand stayed on the handle while the other grabbed yours which were tightly wrapped around his torso. he didn't say anything but his gesture of caressing his thumb onto your forehand somehow reassured you that you'll make it before the bell rung.

soon after that, the two of you arrived exactly before the bell rung as you waited for him to parked his bike under the roofed area. you were about to leave to your class when you felt a strong grip around your wrist and you turned around to see akaashi smiling at you. your cheeks grew warmer when his face was just inches from yours, causing you to look away to avoid his gaze.

"see me after class?" you didn't get to answer when he suddenly walked past you, leaving a trail of his strong cologne lingered. from far, you can see him being dragged into the school entrance.

it's not the first time he had said that to you but these days, the two of you had been exchanging 'overfriendly' remarks. one that is not normally said between friends. it even sparked some rumours among his volleyball teams. but you've known him for years, even since the two of you were still in diapers. of course this was nothing more than just a normal friend hangout. or so you thought.

part 1 , part 2 , part 3

author's note : hello , i've nothing to say . but i hope youre enjoying this short series of my first haikyuu fic ! will update part 2 asap . feel free to reach me out at the chat section

[sufferu]

I think Subaru just feels that if he was born a girl life would have been easier since he wouldn't have to deal with the expectations as the first son

The thing is: Subaru gets a genuine sense of joy out of dressing as a woman. His entire presentation undergoes this massive shift. He becomes more confident, he thinks he’s prettier, he’s outwardly flirtatious — and even when he’s not, uh, “in uniform,” he genuinely loves making dresses, and styling hair, and playing with makeup. It gets to the point where, before he learns ANYTHING else, Rem remarks that his sewing skills are “top notch” — simply because he enjoys it so much that it’s where he dedicated all his time. Plus, there are all these little hints in the LN about how he misses being a cute, androgynous child who could be easily mistaken for a girl (even saying that the years have not been kind to him, which is a very strange way for a totally cis guy to reference puberty), and how he cried when his hair was shaved off, and how he prides himself on the old nickname “Princess of the Ice.” And even when basically nobody wants him dressed as a woman in Arc 7, he keeps making excuses to not change clothes, and EVERYONE takes it that way. And also he refers to Natsumi as his ideal self. This isn’t just him doing what’s easiest: he LIKES this.

Plus like — if you want to talk about characters leaning into an opposite gendered persona due to feeling that they can’t live up to their gender’s expectations…Ferris is right there. And Ferris very specifically foils Subaru in ways that are incredibly pointed. Ferris presents as a girl specifically for Crusch’s sake, while every time Subaru dresses as Natsumi he’s like the only one who actually enjoys it (sans Emilia, who has been very pointedly left out of the reveal that Natsumi == Subaru, and who uniquely shows pretty much zero contempt for his crossdressing habit in the one failed loop side story where she does find out about it). Ferris has to go through this entire morning routine of “getting into character” every day in order to be Crusch’s Cute Little Ferri-chan, Subaru slips into Natsumi’s persona so easily that he has to actively fight AGAINST it. Ferris dresses almost solely in a singular outfit that’s basically his Ferri-chan uniform (complete with a collar and a bell), Subaru has this whole love for styling different outfits practically every time he dresses as Natsumi. Hell — symbolically, Ferris is a nickname for a very traditionally masculine given name (Felix) while Subaru has been referenced many times as having a name that is explicitly androgynous (the implications of this can be debated but as it is I’m pretty certain it was intentional on Tappei’s part). It’s like a Whole Thing.

(And also — we already Had the whole “Subaru struggling with the pressures of being Kenichi’s son” thing. It’s what the whole First Trial was about him overcoming. So why is Natsumi becoming More prevalent as the story goes on, if it’s just an extension of that?)

(And if it really IS an extension of that prior problem, why do we STILL very pointedly not know what happened that day when he got found out? With Subaru going out of his way to shadow it as “a very traumatic event for me that I have spent a significant amount of time processing and struggling to overcome” while never revealing what actually went down — it’s be kind of anticlimactic for something like that to be revealed as just — an extension of a conflict that already got revealed and resolved ages ago.)

[openphrase123]

for isat ballet choreography i know i've talked about the friendquest pas de deuxs but i want to talk about each character's solo variations now (a variation, in ballet, is a solo dance meant to portray a character or emotional moment, and is usually a way for the dancer to show off technical skills)

i don't think they're done every loop, but i do think they're done at least twice (the second time to show to the audience that there's a timeloop going on and for siffrin's dancer to watch in confusion)

anyway it's going under a readmore this will be long

mirabelle's is obviously First. like i don't mean first in the variations i mean First In The Show, siffrin wakes up and there's barely any time to process what's happening onstage and mirabelle comes in twirling and jumping. she's very high energy, and it's cute cute cute and siffrin's watching her fondly off to the side - but then mirabelle notices him laughing at something, gets anxious, fakes a trip and tumbles to the ground.

(in the second loop siffrin remembers that this happened, and doesn't laugh on the second go-around, and mirabelle sticks the landing perfectly with a flourish - signaling to both the audience and siffrin that this is a timeloop, siffrin can remember, and mirabelle can't)

and then bonnie's next, who is NOT doing a typical ballet variation because they're a completely different dancing style entirely. tap is probably the "traditional" bonnie dance but i think you could have them do anything if your bonnie dancer knows it. and i definitely think bonnie's "variation" is them trying to emulate ballet moves in whatever style they're working in, to a comedic extent. now the audience knows this is not a Normal Ballet

third, odile. the audience knows what's supposed to happen now - siffrin greets her, she dances, siffrin moves onto the next dancer. but siffrin goes up to her, and she does one little pitiful relevé and goes back to reading. punctuated with the music this is played for laughs and it tells you exactly what odile's deal is

and then isabeau :) you might be like "he's not en pointe, that's a man, what can he do" well in ballet variations are not just for your pointe dancers, anyone can do a variation! i don't think this is isabeau's dancing style but this was easiest to link, danceur variations are normally more about the jumps and kicks than doing cool pointe tricks

anyway isabeau is doing his Man Ballet Thing Which Is Totally Not Indicative Of His Identity Issues No Sir but i think isabeau's variation has the most "missed connections" where his dancer is obviously trying to get siffrin's to dance with him, but siffrin just stays watching. i think you could keep the shoulder touch in here un-altered, that would read super well on stage

you might be reading this and going "where is the siffrin variation" and :)! well i just think it would be neat if siffrin doesn't do a single move of solo dancing until the rock's about to fall on them.

[nowimjustastranger]

I have been binge-reading your tumblr all day, and AHHHH, dude I love the StCMO AU so much holy shit. I cannot get enough of it. I actually read a Rick and Morty fic somewhat similar to this? It only focuses on one perspective, though. High key recommend:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22024960

Also love love loveee your fics! I actually first subscribed to your AO3 back when you were first writing Supernatural fanfiction, and then I found you again when I got into Gravity Falls ❤️. The Supernatural to Gravity Falls pipeline is SO REAL and there are so many similarities between Dean vs Stan and Sam vs Ford that it haunts me. I have so many fic ideas just based on episodes of Supernatural 😂. HIWTHI is actually lightly inspired by s2e20.

Sorry, I'm ranting. I had a few questions related to StCMO:

1. What would StCMO!Ford do about a Stan and Ford stuck in a death time loop together? Somewhat similarly to Deja Vu by interlude (though it doesn't have to be), but if it wasn't resolved? I gotta know how he feels about the crossbow death 😭

2. WWS!FD if Bill is constantly going after Stan through Rico and the cartel and whoever else because Ford wanted to make amends with his brother before the portal was finished? Bill doesn't want the distraction, and all of Stan's enemies are easily manipulated into deals to kill Stan off? (an AU of mine i've been toying with)

3. Does he ever feel a little bit detached after going through so many dimensions of Stans and Fords? I feel like it would be easy to become desensitized to it and forget the original perspective he started with.

Holy shit hi! Lovely to see you in the bottomless hole that is the GF fandom with me lmao. And yeah, lots of parallels with respective sets of brothers! I will absolutely read your fic rec! It looks delicious.

Death Loop

Admittedly, Ford 419"3 would have some trouble getting into the time loop, but he'd find a way if it meant safely breaking it. The hardest part for Ford 419"3 would be seeing Stan die and having to wait for the loop to reset. Lots of bad memories being dredged up. Because not only is he traumatized by his time in Bill's clutches, but the missions that go wrong had also left lingering mental wounds. Ford would have to figure out how to keep Stan and his brother alive long enough for Ford to actually break the time loop, so he'd have his hands full to say the least.

Bill is a Bitch

Ford would be having none of that shit. He'd probably enlist Lee to act as a bodyguard and have Lee deliver Stan to his brother safely while Ford handled the threats at the source (ie: wiping out all the gangs that have a vendetta against Stan). After he finished his task or removing the vast majority of threats against Stan to make it harder for Bill to find a puppet, Ford 419"3 would meet Lee and Stan at his counterpart's shack, showing his counterpart the evidence that he and Lee had collected to prove that Bill was behind the attempts on Stan's life.

Same Shit, Different Day

Ford doesn't become desensitized, per say, but seeing so much bad shit does leave it's mark on him. Instead of becoming numb to it, he had become obsessed with the safety of his loved ones. He's mentally unwell in the sense that he's constantly on alert, no longer able to truly let his guard down. Even with Lee and the niblings, unfortunately. He's more like a feral animal than a man, viciously protecting those that he considers his until death. He has insomnia due to his anxiety and paranoia, only sleeping when his body literally shuts down on him. Lee and Fiddleford are working on coaxing him to sleep a little here and there before that happens, but it's slow-going.

[frozenjokes]

THE TIME LOOP AU IS ALL WRITTEN!!!!!!!!!! MY GUYS!!!! I can not wait to share the rest of the story TY FOR THE SUPPORT!!!!! ao3 link

below, some snippets from the final chapters. the next will be up tomorrow :3

Cleo smirked, “Keep talking kitty kitty, your days are numbered,” Cleo started to twirl the lasso, and Scar scoffed.

“Keep dreaming.”

Predictably, the first three times Cleo attempted to throw the lasso she missed terribly; Scar had mostly been teaching her the tricks and this required a completely different technique! To emphasize his confidence, Scar tucked all of his limbs under his body, commencing his groom. The sad fwap of the lasso hitting nothing along with Cleo’s continued threats were music to his ears. He frowned as he nosed through his chest fur, coming across a small shard that had wedged itself into his skin. Gingerly, he plucked it away, spitting it back at Cleo before continuing to ignore her. Stubborn, silly creature. He licked away the remaining beads of blood without concern, eyed contentedly shut.

///

“I don’t think you understand how your violence affects other people. I’m still looking for snares every time I walk through a hall. I still feel it around my neck. Sometimes when I think about you it feels like choking.”

“That.” Cub paused, not quite faltering, but not exactly facing Scar with the same confidence. “That was a long time ago.”

“May as well have been yesterday.”

///

“If you want a story so damn bad, tell one yourself. That, or leave it,” Cleo huffed, and Scar mumbled a quiet agreement, moving to cuddle in with her as she finished settling down. Cub stayed where he was, sitting on the edge of the bed. Scar thought the conversation was over then, and the silence had lasted so long that he’d started to doze off when Cub spoke.

“Used to feed the crows in my backyard.” Cub paused for a moment before amending, “Birds. Small animals with wings. Anyway, before my cats died we still had a bit of food left, and my family never really threw anything away. I always took little baggies into the woods when I’d go. It was great. Whole flocks would follow me around, thirty to fifty birds.. I got in trouble for feeding them too close to the house since they figured out where I lived. Cawed all sorts of noise very early in the morning.” Cub nodded to himself, closing his eyes where he sat.

Scar waited for him to continue. The waiting grew increasingly more awkward until Scar couldn’t help but prompt him, “And what happened next?”

Cub yawned, moving to settle in under the sheets beside Cleo. “I stopped feeding them.”

Scar waited. Cub did not elaborate.

…

Maybe this is why Cub had never contributed a story before. He wasn’t particularly talented at telling them.

///

“True soldiers, born in blood,” Grian mumbled, turning away, “Battle forth ‘til his pads are raw, face grave. But never stop. Whether he is good leaves no relevance; however, he certainly is true. As for I.. I can not take his sword. But his family?” Grian sighed, “As long as he chooses to keep it, I will not interfere.” He left them without another word. Scar couldn’t stop staring.

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Song carried on breeze

(Part 2)

Word count: +1800

Summary: Azriel invites the famous pianist to a city tour, ending up showing her his most favorite spot

Warnings: none

@azrielappreciationweek Day 6: Song of the wind Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears

Part 1

On the agreed day, at the agreed place, Azriel waited for Allison. He was quite nervous, constantly smoothing his clothes, wings rustling behind him. He spent hours in bath, washing every centimeter of his skin and especially wings that were quite dusty lately, and even longer in the closet choosing clothes for the day. He didn't want to look too polished nor too casual. This day was very important to him, even small mistake was unforgivable. He didn't want to be too pushy, but if he was honest, Allison's music wasn't the only thing he was genuinely interested in.

"Does it really look casual?" he whispered to the shadows and they answered, gently touching his shoulder.

"Don't worry, boy. You look great. She will certainly like it."

"But doesn't this shirt scream: It's date? Or this trousers? She accepted only because it's a city tour."

"The reason why she accepted is debatable, but calm down. Everything is fine." The shadows rolled and swirled around him, trying to put him at ease.

"What about hair? Messy? Overdone?"

The shadows pushed a few unruly dark strands back. "Perfect! Don't be nervous. That lovely female will be smitten by the city as well as by your charm and appearance. Yesterdays she couldn't take her eyes off of you. We noticed."

Azriel rolled his eyes. "You are mistaken. She-"

"She's coming! Be natural and relaxed and everything will be fine."

The shadows slowly swam forward to welcome Allison, gently caressing her hands. She looked lovely in light blue dress, her long hair styled into a complicated hairstyle. Azriel's heart stuttered at the sight of her, the breath hitched. Dreamy smile tugged corners of his mouth, before he scolded himself. He mirrored her kind smile and went to meet her.

"Hi," his voice was husky, so he cleared his throat. "You look beautiful."

"Hi," she giggled as she took him in. "You look good, too. Are they always so friendly?" She offered her index finger to the shadows and they immediately wrapped around it. "So lovely!"

"They are very curious, but if it bothers you I can call them back."

"Nonsense! They are adorable."

Azriel's smile grew wider. It didn't happen every day that someone liked his shadows, even calling them adorable. His family was used to their presence and cool touch, but strangers tended to shiver and inched from their reach.

"Are you ready for the tour?"

She stepped to his side and looped her arm through his. He didn't expect it and went rigid, holding his breath. His eyes immediately fell to his scarred hand without glove, her soft perfect flesh so close to his damaged one. She paid no attention to that though.

"Now I'm ready," she blushed.

He inhaled deeply to shake off some of the tension, heart in his chest racing for life.

"So let's go." He sounded breathless.

Allison pressed even closer to him as shadowsinger was leading her to the first place on his list. As a musician, there was no doubt she would fall in love with the Rainbow at first sight. The lights, the colours and the atmosphere of the place immediately captivated her. Her big eyes shone with joy and wandered all around, the questions about different shops and galleries seemed to be endless. Azriel patiently answered all of them, his eyes never leaving her face. She fascinated him. Despite of her calm exterior, she was just as expressive, spontaneous, lively and breathtaking as her music.

Slowly proceeding, they moved to the best cafe in the city with iconic view to catch a breath and refresh. Then passing through the biggest market place, Azriel took her to the most beautiful garden with thousands of blooming flowers and trees that was part of the city's biggest gallery. Azriel wanted to show her much more, but the time was merciless. When they left the gallery it was already evening, dim lights shone like stars above them.

It was time for the dinner, so he took her to his favourite restaurant where he had reserved the best table. The restaurant was located on a hill, its terrace offered a perfect view of the city with flowing Sidra river beneath. There was no better place to end the tour.

Allison sparkled with joy as they ate, the praises and the thanks for showing her such beautiful places seemed to have no end. Her gaze was switching between him and the view, unable to resist and wanting to see the both.

When they finished the meal, Azriel wasn't ready yet to take her to the hotel and say goodbye. He needed a little more. During the day her hand gradually slid down his arm until they walked hand in hand. Leaving the restaurant her small hand naturally grabbed his bigger one, almost shyly they strolled down the street in the silence. She seemed to be just as reluctant to say goodbye as he was. Suddenly he got an idea, his legs came to stop. She glanced up at him with a quiet question.

"There's one more thing I'd like to show you, but.. Are you scared of heights? Do you trust me?"

Her red lips curled up into a smile. "Even with my life," she whispered into the night. "And I'm not sure whether I'm scared or not. I've never been so high to get scared yet."

"That's great because the next place I want to take you to, is up there," he pointed to the star-studded sky with the full moon.

Allison only nodded with shining eyes and stepped closer, giving him permission. Azriel swept her into his arms. She was even lighter than he thought. His heart stuttered at the feel of her warmth, her delicate scent filled his lungs. If he died then and there, he would die a happy male.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, fingers lightly touching ends of his hair, playing with them.

"I'm ready to see this beautiful city through your eyes," she sighed, not knowing yet that the city wouldn't be the most fascinating aspect up there. But she noticed the hint as soon as Azriel's wings rustled.

The huge wings spread behind his tall figure, wide and majestic, strong and beautiful. At that moment Azriel changed. His features relaxed, all tension completely gone. His lips curled into a soft smile, the most genuine one he showed her so far. A long sigh left him, almost a moan as gentle evening breeze caressed sensitive membranes.

He flapped his stiffened limbs, testing them and stretching, muscles on his back danced under the tips of her fingers like strings. Something wild, untamed and beautiful awoke in depths of his eyes that sparked in dark. Hazel colour melted into warm honey, liquid gold whirling in his eyes, mesmerizing her.

Azriel looked at female in his arms with one-sided boyish grin, slightly bent his knees and shot to the sky. The flight was steady, his movements so smooth that Allison felt like floating. The silence of the spring night was disturbed only by soft flapping of leather wings.

Cool air brushed through his hair, playing with the dark strands and Azriel closed his eyes. Flying was a freedom, the only reminder that there was something really magical in this world. It meant everything to him. The day he would lost this ability, would be his last. He couldn't live without this, without this feeling. He never shared it with anyone, but he guessed that his brothers felt the same way. All Illyrians had to feel this way otherwise the wings wouldn't be so sacred to them.

He gleamed with joy, steadily rising to the night sky. When he flew, everything seemed to be possible. Sometimes he liked to imagine that if he wanted, he could touch the shiny dots scattered all over the sky or even the moon itself. For him, flying was as breathing, natural and irreplaceable.

He got so lost in his feelings that he almost forgot about the female pressed against his chest. He opened eyes to check on her, finding her gazing back at him. Her eyes were wide, reflecting the stars above them, full lips slightly parted.

"Are you enjoying the view?" he teased her. Even his deep voice reflected the great change in him, suddenly gaining a velvet undertone.

He felt her body tensed in his arms, knees pressing together, but she only scoffed. "Very much so," she replied, her voice trembling.

"Scared? Should I fly lower?"

"No, this is perfect."

"In such case, you should look around," he suggested softly, the blush creeping up his neck.

It was the very first time someone gazed at him like that, let alone someone he was attracted to. His mouth went dry and there was that tickling sensation in his lower belly. He didn't need to check to feel how hard he was. He only hoped that it would fade away before she noticed his scent. Through the thin material of her dress he could feel her heartbeat, throbbing as fast as his and he instantly felt at ease. It was good to know that he wasn't the only one affected here.

Even if only for a short time, he allowed himself to dream and hope.

Allison reluctantly did as he suggested, her breath hitched. The darkened city spread below them in all its glory. Thousand of lights flickered in the windows of houses of residential areas. Cafes, restaurants and shops scattered in its center shone like torches in the maze of streets. Even from up above they could find the Rainbow that shone the brightest among them. The gardens did light up shows during this season to attract visitor and especially couples in love. The blooming trees looked like puffy cotton clouds from above. And amidst all this, glimmering Sidra meandered serenely like milky way in the sky.

"It's.. incredible," she whispered, her voice full of emotions as her fingers dug with urgency into his flesh and he wished that it would leave a permanent mark on him. Suddenly she started to hum a melody.

Goosebumps rose all over Azriel's body, tears stinging his eyes. He didn't need to ask to know that it was a completely new composition inspired by the beauty of night Velaris below them. But then she turned to him, her gaze locked with his as she continued. This song wasn't only about the city, it was also about him. His lips parted and first tear rolled down his cheek. When she finished, she leaned closer and gently pressed her lips to his.

Azriel's heart stopped for a moment or two just to start pounding hard later. He hesitated only for a brief second before his lips moved, kissing her back. A groan vibrated through his chest as she lightly bit on his bottom lip, breaking the kiss.

"I think I'll call it Song carried on breeze."

[just-a-ghost00]

How did they feel the last time they saw you? [group 2]

This is the reading for group 2. If you picked group 1 or group 3, go to the respective posts to get your messages. You picked group 2 if you chose ATEEZ Hongjoong.

Group 2

Note from reader : right before I started shuffling for your reading, which I did on 11/11 if I may point that out, I had NewJeans ' Bubblegum playing on loop on the back of my mind. This song is very dreamy and sweet, reflective of a crush kind of energy. So this gave me the impression that the person you are thinking of feels very excited and mellow whenever they're around you. I had this warm feeling in my belly that kinda made me feel giddy. So that could be representative of this person's energy towards you at the moment.

9 of cups, page of cups, Death, 7 of cups, 9 of pentacles, knight of wands, back of the deck King of cups

The spread further confirms the energy I was picking up on before pulling the cards. When you last met, which may have been quite recently, this person was in a very good mood. They felt like they were on cloud nine because the context of the meeting felt ideal. Like both of you were in the best position and disposition to interact. It felt like a dream to this person and they may have had a hard time leaving you afterwards. The context of this meeting feels very intimate. It is possible that there were only the two of you. But if you were with other people, this person definitely felt like only you mattered. The were kinda like in a bubble and you were all they could see and think about. With the energy of the King of cups, this person may have felt very lovey dovey and in a romantic disposition towards you. They wanted to pour their heart out and surround you with their love and affection. You really opened this person's heart space and filled it with emotions. They were definitely turned on but that was more of an emotional attraction than a physical one. The conversations you may have had at that time could have revolved around romance, dating, the possibilities that both of you had when it comes to this connection. You and this person may have been single at the time but both were open to getting to know each other on a deeper level. It kinda feels like a date setting but it doesn't have to be. This person had a huge crush on you and they couldn't stop staring at you, basking in the moment, taking in your features and scent. They may have felt like an important page of their life was being written at this moment. Here I feel like the Death card speaks more of a deep transformation of this person's feelings for you the moment they saw you. Maybe in that moment they realized that they wanted more than just being friends. As I wrote that I felt a shiver running through my spine, so that to me is a confirmation that this is what was happening. Ever since that moment, this person can't stop thinking of you and day dreaming about you, hoping for more, wishing that you were in their arms. When they last saw you, I can definitely say that they felt the urge to kiss you and hold you in their arms but for some reason, they couldn't. They may have felt scared of destroying whatever chemistry you had. "If I do it, we may never go back" kind of feeling. They were hesitant to show you the extent of their true feelings but oh boy was the temptation there. You may have felt it in the air. You may have perceived that this person was acting a bit different than usual. There were things in what they said or what they did that may have been tell tale signs something was going on. Like this person drinking your favorite coffee when they explicitely mentioned several times that they were not fond of it. Or them wearing a different brand of cologne that you just so happened to talk about the other day, because you spent minutes sniffing it in the store before you bought it. That kind of subtle details. Or maybe they were talking a bit differently than usual, or just something about their energy felt off. Anyways, this person was trying very hard not to lose their composure. They did their very best to remain calm, reassuring, respectful. But all they could think about were "unholy" thoughts. I won't dive any further on that matter because this wasn't supposed to be an 18+ reading, but you get my drift. They may have felt compelled to by you a gift or do something they usually wouldn't do just for you, so that you could feel special. I particularly pick up on a very specific thing that is a bit personal, but maybe this could resonate with you.

When I was in highschool, I had a classmate that was very popular among our peers. We got along well and would talk from time to time because we were partners in science class and had to work on common projects. His friends didn't like me, so he sometimes felt a bit shy being seen with me but he didn't want me to think that he didn't appreciate me. So what he would do to make sure I knew he wasn't ignoring me or forgetting about me, is that when he walked in the corridors to greet his friends, he would walk past me and discreetly wink at me as a hello. That was something he only used with me. And it made me feel included and special. So maybe the person you were thinking of does similar things. When you are in group settings and they don't want you to feel left out, they may have a discreet interaction with you, a little sign that only you can notice and understand. This also tells me that the person on your mind may have felt cornered or too shy because of external factors such as being in public or just being surrounded by people that know you personally like family and friends. But also, they feel like they have a special bond with you that no one else has. This reminds me a bit of group 3's energy. If you felt drawn to group 3 as well, you may want to check that group's reading too. I don't know why but I feel like this connection may be something that both of you hide from your peers.

[musings-from-mars]

So I was thinking about transgender as one does, mentally checking in on my own gender and if I'm happy with y'know, Everything, which has become a sorta self-care routine of mine.

I am amab and have a masc body and presentation. To the uninformed I seem to be a cis guy, and while I have experienced dysphoria in the past, that's not been the case for two(?) years now. I've grown fond of my body and become secure in being he/himmed, but the question crossed my mind tonight—prompted by a certain book I recently started reading—"How would I feel if I suddenly had a feminine body and presentation?" Like, say I woke up one day and suddenly looked like someone the average passerby would see as a woman. How would I feel about that? I closed my eyes, really invited my vivid overactive imagination to play out the scenario, and quickly arrived at my answer: It would be nifty! And in the long run, inconsequential.

Ignoring all of the other social and clerical things I'd have to sort out if this sort of thing actually did happen overnight (which itself would be a fascinating idea for a novel that I have neither the means nor the time to execute presently; it's yours if you want it), I figure that if I suddenly had a fem body and dressed feminine-ish-ly and got she/herred all the time, I would feel very un-different (not indifferent) from how I feel now. I would probably feel fondness for my body, security in how others perceive me, conduct myself in a way that feels actualizing—generally un-different to what I'm already doing now.

This all loops back to the identity label question I've been grappling with for like, 5+ years now. I'm definitely nonbinary and trans and queer, but nothing more specific than that has ever really stuck. Is this kind of un-difference a characteristic of being agender, or pangender, or genderfluid, or what?

Whatever it is, waiting around for my language to catch up with my gender has been way too tedious. Maybe gender un-difference will stick.

[tealgoat]

Siffrin- Secret Quest

Writing from @felikatze !!

She tries to ruffle their hair. He flinches.

(They're looking at you like a wild animal. Eye wide, breathing heavy, gaze fixed on your hand like you're about to slap them with it. Stupid. Stupid. YOU were the one who told everyone not to touch Siffrin in the first place! YOU'RE the one who had to explain to Bonnie, sometimes people are not very nice to each other, sometimes people have scars you can't see, and sometimes you need to avoid something as natural as touch, just to be nice.

You're not nice by nature. It takes effort to sand your own edges.)

"...Madame?"

(His voice is small. Siffrin is so small and slight, compared to you. You're not blind. They don't eat enough.)

(You try not to think about why.)

[time skips back.]

(Siffrin makes that stupid pun again. You force yourself to snort, and leave your hands on your lap.)

Addition from @the-bitter-ocean !!

`[You got MEMORY of TOUCH. You will always remember this.]

< Keep your hands to yourself. Its basic common sense isn’t it? [-50 to all stats.] > `

[blackkatdraws2]

The Curator. Her name is Gloria Beatrix. [Achromatic Loop AU]

She can summon close-ranged weapons [preferably daggers] using her blood as an offering to the tattoo of three crows on her skin. The Crows will give her a fraction of its power in return.

The tattoo can move anywhere on her body but is usually seen on her neck or chest.

She doesn't physically show up in the story until way later in the timeline.

[art-is-kayos]

Everlasting A5

[iknowicanbutwhy]

"You could recite their lines perfectly for them" yeah? Well they can, too

Continuation of this.