#and then i stop and i feel like shit and cant do anything

[httpscameron]

attending weddings was boring, anyone can admit it and certainly you could, it was your distant aunt’s daughter’s neices wedding. somehow you got invited and were allowed to bring a plus one. that plus one being your best friend schlatt.

the day was slow but lovey it was in the middle of some woods but you had to admit the scenery was lovely. schlatt succeeded at keeping you entertained for the day but the feeling of love in the air was strong.

the two of you sat in his pick up truck on the way back to your apartment was long; the only music being played was from one of schlatt’s many playlists which always seemed to coincidentally fit the vibe. your gaze leaving the window as schlatt made small talk.

“was a nice venue,” he murmured, since when did he think about venues? if anything he seemed to be more intrested in the amount of free booze he could get from the bar before they told him to go away.

“it was,” you hummed keeping the conversation afloat. “nice food.” it was the normal cheap catering you expected from a wedding, some plain chicken and some vegetables that were lightly roasted.

“yeah it was.” even for you two who could speak about anything and everything this was awkward. perhaps it was the lingering tension of how much you two oddly seemed like a couple (you did infact get asked when the two of your’s wedding would be, four times to be precise.)

“do you think about getting married?” he murmured stopping at the red light his fingers drumming on the steering wheel before turning the volume down. was he going to get really deep and philosophical with you, or tell you how marriage is to scam the goverment.

“sometimes,” you say in the same tone meeting his gaze which lingered on you - which had lingered on you all day.

“same,” oh?

“big guy schlatt would get tied down? wouldve never guessed.” you teased him almost, bringing energy to the conversation.

“maybe for the right girl you ever thought of that.” he jabbed back. he continued to drive the tension feeling a little less than ‘why arent we dating yet’ to more ‘good we’re not dating’. your mind did start to wonder to what it would be like to be with jay like that. ‘would he be domestic? is he a good husband? is he a good kisser? i wonder if hes good in bed?’ lets just say your mind continued in this loop

the drive continued until he got to your apartment, he always made it a routine to walk you all the way to your door. just to show some basic respect.

you got to the door, “this is me,” the usual cliche how perfect.

“night toots.” he said his charming smile, a part of you liked this, ended the night perfectly but not this night. you looked up at his beautifully crafted face, mainly his lips. you had to taste them, you had to know what they tasted like.

you kissed him quickly before stopping. your cheeks flushing red in almost embarrassment as you realised you actually kissed your best friend. youre so in the shit.

“im sorry, im so so sorry, i dont even know why i did that, thats so embarrassing-“ you began to ramble “i cant believe i did that, im sorry jay.”

“doll.” he murmured a cocky smirk gracing his face.

“no jay im so sorry i cant believe i did that, i kissed you like that-“ you carried on your hands flapping as you talked trying to explain yourself.

he cut you off once more. his lips meeting yours in a soft passionate kiss, his lips meeting yours in a perfect puzzle peice, you needed him to complete you. his hand resting on the back of your neck the heat, melting into it. it was perfect.

he pulled back looking down at you. “g’night toots.” he released his grip as he began to walk away.

you watched him walk away in complete awe. he really kissed you like youve never been kissed before and walked away like? “jackass!” you shouted down the corridor to hear a soft chuckle.

masterlist

[cowboygideon]

so i stopped taking my meds for a while (because i was convinced they weren't working) and today I decided fuck it I'll just take them and wouldn't you know it i actually had energy to do stuff and im cleaning my room for the first time in months ? Crazy, I know, but I'm still kind of convinced they weren't working and this is just some kind of placebo effect and I KNOW that makes me sound like an idiot but for some reason I can't convince myself otherwise

[dykedvonte]

wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment

Thank you and this is what I want to get across.

A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.

I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.

He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.

He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.

Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?

Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.

[odysseys-blood]

im never getting over how belphie just...yoinked beleth's halo. like the artifact says "given" but he very much did not give it 😭

i lowkey think it was to take some of the heat off of beleth for being a fallen angel and to keep others from being too loud about it but still he did it in the most goofy manner possible. (and smthn smthn a crown symbolizing protection for his people and its from the first person he wanted to keep safe personally)

[greater-than-the-sword]

I need someone to tell me that im not stuck here and things are going to get better. Also they have to know what they're talking about

[ilovebeatingmywife]

why cant my dad just do things for himself once and awhile im so tired of this

[mushed-kid]

.

[0809sysblings]

how i imagine what the inside of mikoto's head looks like half the time

[izzy-b-hands]

Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao

[angelstrawbabie420]

in my quest to quell my pain ive only hurt myself worse. damned if i do damned if i dont.

[innalheid]

Feeling very Ascension by Gorillaz ft Vince Staples at 2:18

[nomairuins]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[ghostcrows]

me praying to get any kind of IT job and now just being so embarrassed that it happened because I DONT FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING? like you'd seriously think i would but i dont know a goddamn thing. a coworker watched me struggle to turn back on a monitor that went into sleep mode today. i couldnt find the fucking button on it. like i want to kill myself over that and i wish i was being funny but im being hilarious. they watch me fumble putting in my password on these 2000 goddamn websites i have to have accounts for for some reason AND they put me on the phone to squeak mousily at angry people who are calling for higher stakes problems than the library (but that part wasnt that bad bc most of them i got to just transfer the call)....i just want to SCREAM. i just want to scream because of the enormity of my incompetence. but its not even that serious. but it is. it is

[yamsgarden]

Just some more Still Wakes the Deep blah blah, but omg having just been diagnosed Diabetes type 1 myself recently, it makes me only love and feel for Roy 10X more...

This shit is litteraly poison, but so does the food we eat with how much sugar there is in ugh OTL

Never thought in a million year I had DT1, I had 0 symptoms and am in pretty good shape, but then suddenly, organs are starting to hurt really badly out of nowhere...

Don't wait too long poeple and check with your doctors even if there's ''nothing'' T0T and to all Diabetic ppl out there, keep on fighting 💪✨

[jrueships]

the monthly apathy is back, rlly sorry if i said smthing to u and then u say smthing back and i don't respond for like a thousand years only to spam u after it passes and then u respond bcs ure awesome and i go on an unspoken vow of silence for yet another thousand years and the cycle just continues

[iamunabletothinkofablogname]

god fucking damn it