#and then i started my period and thought no. no fucking way. so i googled it and APPARENTLY menstrual gingivitis is a thing!!!!

[insidejupiter]

every time i learn about some new bullshit periods cause i get irrationally angry

[meangirls-imagines]

hey could you do a Regina George x femme reader where the reader is a member of the plastics and gets revenge for Regina on Cady after finding out about the Kalteen bars?

Sabotage

Description: Reader finds out Cady is sabotaging her girlfriend, which is also the reason of her girlfriend's insecurities as of late.

WARNINGS: fluffy, cady being a bitch, reader being protective, regina being insecure

"Do you think I look fat?"

Y/N looked up from her phone at her girlfriend's question. Regina stood in front of her floor-length mirror in a sports bra and biker shorts. She was frowning at her body in the mirror. Y/N answered.

"No? You look gorgeous as usual, baby. Why the long face?" Regina turned towards her girlfriend. "Those bars Cady gave me aren't working I think. It seems like I'm getting bigger." Y/N put her phone down and opened her arms.

Regina walked into her girlfriend's arms as the girl held her tightly. "You look like a goddess, Gina. You don't need weight loss bars. Trust me." Regina pouted. "I just need to lose a few pounds. That's all." Y/N kissed the girl's bare stomach.

"Well, I don't think so. How about you go take a shower and we can get takeout and watch trashy reality tv?" Regina nodded and pecked her girlfriend's lips before heading into her bathroom. Y/N got suspicious and decided to grab the wrapper of the bar from the small trash can in the blonde's room.

Reading the label she saw the word "Kalteen" before she stashed it in her bag to do research on later. The blonde finished in the shower as Y/N placed an order for her favorite chinese place before pulling up a random housewives show as the blonde cuddled into her side.

She was going to get to the bottom of this.

To say Y/N was livid was an understatement. When she went home that night, she googled the brand of bars Cady had been giving her girlfriend, only to find out their true purpose.

To make the consumer gain weight.

GAIN WEIGHT.

That's why Regina had been feeling insecure. Because she was slowly gaining weight. Y/N was pissed. And it helped that she knew the culprit of the crime.

Cady Fucking Heron.

The girl Regina had taken under her wing to help. And this was how the girl re-payed her girlfriend? Y/N was going to get revenge.

In the best way she knew how.

The next day at school, she had approached Karen and Gretchen, telling them the situation. The girls were rightfully pissed. Y/N knew that telling Gretchen was the right choice because by 2nd period, a nasty rumor about Cady had been spread.

The rumor was that Cady had been infected with BV after having sex with the whole football team. Everyone had heard the rumor and by lunch time, it was all anyone could talk about.

Cady had become the school's laughing stock and as she tried to sit with the plastics, Y/N stopped her. "Sorry, Cady. But you can't sit with us. We can't associate with you anymore. Not after your diagnosis.." Cady turned a deep scarlet. "I don't have that! I don't know who started that rumor but they're wrong."

Y/N smirked. Regina sat in silence, wanting to see where this went. "Sucks having someone make everyone think something is wrong with your body doesn't it?" Cady looked at Y/N, confused before realization came over her face.

"It was you." Y/N smirked. "Why, Cady, I have no idea where you came up with that lie!" Cady glared at Y/N. "Why did you do it?" Y/N sighed and smiled. "Well, considering the fact that you messed with my girlfriend's body, I thought I would return the favor."

At that information, Regina looked at Cady. "What do you mean, messed with my body?" Y/N looked at her girlfriend. "Those Kalteen bars? They were making you gain weight, not lose it." Regina became angry at those words and looked at Cady.

"Is that true?" It felt like Cady was suffocating. She had been caught and no one was there to back her up. "Uh..I-" Regina put a hand up. "Save it. You're lucky Y/N only did the rumor. I would've ruined your life. But, since you're no longer going to associate with us, you're no longer a threat. Now, leave us alone, or I will ruin your life."

Cady scurried off as the blonde looked satisfied. Y/N sat down next to her girlfriend, Regina pulling her into a kiss. Gretchen and Karen squealed at the cuteness as the two pulled away. "Thank you for protecting me, baby."

Y/N smirked. "You're my princess, of course I'll protect you."

They didn't see Cady for the rest of the week, learning later on that she went back to being homeschooled. Y/N smirked when she heard the news.

Don't fuck with her girlfriend.

[l3viat8an]

nsfw content MDNI (repost)

Anon have you been looking at my search history? Jkjk but moving on- CW: demon hentai mentioned obviously ,Levi jacks off over your laptop and you catch him at the end-

"Alright, I'll check it out and see if I can fix it." Levi agrees and you give him your laptop! "Thanks Levi, you're the best! I'Il come pick it up around 8!" "Wha?-" but you're already out his bedroom door and gone-

You only asked Levi to check your computer for bugs, it's been a bit glitchy the last few days and you didn't want to buy a new one yet.

He's methodical, backing up your hard drive and taking special care to back up your games, he turns it off and back on first and goes to the browser scrolling through to see if you'd accidentally clicked on a virus.

That would be an easy fix for him! He sees a few sites he uses for school work, a few cheat sites, mumbling to himself periodically, little "Huh"'s when he come across a google search "Do demons need to sleep?' and Would demons randomly eat a human?' "Really, MC.…."

He scrolls even further down, and comes across a porn site and gasps out loud……then he remembers "Well…MC is human………and humans have needs…..." Levi sits there just staring at your computer screen for a few minutes, before he clicks the link reasoning that "Porn sites always have bugs....I’m just checking....”

The sound that came out of Levi's mouth when he saw the "tentacle demon fucks cute little human full~ NOW IN HD!!!!' hentai he'd watched a thousand times pop up was definitely embarrassing- what's even more embarrassing is the way his cock are hard as soon as the video starts-

Levi's mind is going a thousand places at once-

Did you know what he liked????, no, not possible! Maybe……..just maybe……you're into it too……...just the thought make his cock twitch in his sweatpants, you~ the person he has the biggest crush on secretly being just as much of a fucking pervert as him?!?!?

"Fuck…” his hands move automatically, pulling his pants down and rubbing over his tip, working his pre-cum over his cock and thinking "I really am fucking disgusting.” I mean yea, getting off to the fact you like the same things he does- “S-shit, MC....you have no clue what you do to me." his minds move on from his self degrading thought and to thoughts of you…... would you let him fuck you like the human in the video? Sure it's animated so the real thing would be different..,but with you~

With you, he's sure it'll be even better~!!

But would you whine 'n moan really loud? Would you be quiet? would you beg him to cum inside you? Would you- his own hand disturbs his thoughts as he speeds up his movements and starts jerking even harder~ So lost in his fantasy he starts begging out loud, "Please~ please, MC, wanna cum..., cum with you!! In you!! Just please let me cum!!" and he does…..all over his hand, just as the demon on the screen cums inside the human…..

Levi sits there panting for a few minutes and trying to collect his thoughts…he just jacked off over your computer.…………and a glance at his clock tells him, you'd be coming back for it anytime now and “Shit, shit! This is bad!!" Levi starts panicking, cock still out and porn still playing. (Obviously one round isn’t enough for the animated demon-) and…and now his bedroom door is opening?????

You and Levi are both frozen; you just inside the door staring at your computer, and the porn still playing- and Levi cock still out as he tries to die or incinerate himself on the spot- your mind seems to catch up first and you speak "At least invite me next time if you're going to jack off over my laptop!” "Huh?! w-w-wait!!-I-I- can explain!!!!?”

[jewish-vents]

i’m a teacher and i had a kid draw a swastika in my classroom on like. the second day of school. so one of our admin came in to two of my classes the next day to talk about it. and she started by telling this story about how she had a hijabi student. and a boy in the class was “really curious about what her hair looked like.” and had the students guess what happened next (pulled the hijab off, gross and awful) and how that might have made the hijabi student feel. at this point i’m sitting at my desk like “it’s been five minutes are we going to talk about the swastika” and then she finally goes “yesterday someone drew a symbol that represents division. and hate. and those aren’t things we stand for” and a kid (of course) was like what was it? and this fucking woman turns to me and goes “are you comfortable sharing what it was?”

?????? i thought that’s why you were here?? i thought you were here to explain why swastikas are not okay, and we are seven minutes into your little presentation and you haven’t said the word swastika or even jewish. so i said it was a swastika and several of the kids didn’t know what that was. which was disturbing on its own as i teach middle school but i digress. i said no way in hell am i drawing one so my admin looks at me and is like “could you google a picture?”

can’t believe i did this but i didn’t know what else to do in the moment so i pulled up a google image search of swastikas and projected it on the board. at no point did the admin say “hey you can take that down now��� it just sat up there until i got uncomfortable and sick to my stomach enough to close it myself. and then she came back the next period and did the WHOLE song and dance again (no jewish, no antisemitism, not even the word NAZI which is insane to me) and STILL told the opening story about the hijabi girl even with two hijabi girls sitting in the class this time who were clearly uncomfortable.

this was like three weeks ago and it’s been quietly bothering me for a while and i finally told my (nonjewish) work friends about it and they were all like “holy shit that’s so fucked that she asked you to do that” and i told my (jewish) partner and he went “she couldn’t have picked up a fucking marker??” and that was when it really hit me.

maybe she didn’t want to be in a situation where she drew a swastika on a jewish teachers whiteboard. ok. but she apparently didn’t consider the WORSE implications of asking that same jewish teacher to google an image of a swastika and project a google image search of a page FULL of swastikas on her board.

AND she never once checked in with me after that. she left the class without talking to me again and hasn’t said a word about it since. i remember i even asked her “do you want me to leave the room” beforehand because im thinking i don’t want to have to look at swastikas but she asked me to stay because “the impact is real and they need to see it” which. uh. i’ve been pushing this experience down for weeks bc at the end of the day it “wasn’t that bad” but like. holy shit. she really wanted to put my trauma on display for the students instead of just asking me to leave and explaining what a swastika is/showing them one. and it took her nearly ten minutes to get to the actual swastika!! i’m just. so done

.

[pseudophan]

Hi! I am very very new to the Dan and Phil world. A friend of a friend had a spare ticket to their Oslo show and I went along. This was my very first Dan and Phil experience. I had heard their names, but went in completely blind after all who doesn't love a theatre trip to a foreign country. I had a wonderful time, even if I didn't really understand a lot of the backstory it was so much fun, and i thought i sort of had it worked out. I have come home and binged their content now, but the more I watch, the more confused I am. I watched the Anthony Padilla Dan interview tonight and that was the point where I thought I need help. I was advised head here, pick someone nice and avoid twitter so here I am. When I was watching the show in Oslo, it seemed to me that it was the most married unmarried couple ever, having fun together on stage, poking fun at all the crazy that they had faced together over the years, however the more I indulge in their content the more I am confused as to what is real or not. Is the whole stage couple thing just an act? Were they together but now not? Have I misunderstood the whole show? That Anthony interview Dan seemed to be saying he was very single and ready to find a man, so I am very very lost. Google was no help. I don't want to over step but after watching them perform on stage, they seemed completely infatuated and in love with each other and in recent videos i watched. It is all very confusing. Whatever they are, they know how to put on a show. They have a new fan in me, albeit a slightly confused one. Hope you don't think I am overstepping.

first of all, that's an insane introduction to dan and phil and i love it. i was also at the oslo show! it was a good one

as for your question, well you see the thing is dan howell is chronically full of shit. that time period was a bit weird and he was a bit annoying and he had this "single and ready to mingle" bit going, god knows why cause it wasn't very believable, but.. idk, i think perhaps it was a mix of just that fitting his brand of "comedian" better and him desperately wanting to get away from the Dan And Phil label, but because he couldn't ever fully commit to it it just fell flat imo. like you can't be on youtube and on stage claiming you're single and wanna fuck around while also appearing in your boyfriend's videos acting married as fuck, it just doesn't work. and please no one start up that godforsaken open relationship debate again cause it's just not relevant, he wasn't selling open relationship he was selling single lol, at least in that anthony interview

but like all that said i don't really think he was trying to sell it to the phannies or any of his most hardcore fans, and i think that's exactly why he was willing to appear in phil's videos still showing a completely different, much more real, side of himself. the whole Single Dan On The Prowl thing was for himself and for random people who happened to be watching, more casual members of the audience

there's a looot more to be said about dan and the way he wants to be viewed, he talks about it himself a bit in the new show but you probably don't remember it that well if you saw it as an outsider like it's hardly the most memorable part of.. all of that haha, but basically to answer your question: dan's just kinda like that sometimes. you get used to it. or maybe you won't have to since he seems ready to finally maybe potentially possibly drop some of the pretence and just.... be. or he'll change his mind again and be back to bullshitting in a few months you honestly never know with that guy

but yeah dan in that era... grain of salt is all. it's just a persona and a desperate plea to be viewed as something, anything other than Dan From Dan And Phil. it's just kind of hard to get away from that when the other half of your double act is also your life partner, you know?

[sysmedsaresexist]

Something about that last post just really fucking irked me.

Normalize asking questions about your experiences and things you're not clear on

Yesterday, I had to ask some friends a question.

Any uterus having people that have had the electro therapy on their back-- very specific but Google isn't helping

Can the electricity on the lower back cause a period???

Wow, fucking cringe, what a faker, doesn't even know how her own uterus works, how do you make it this far in life and not know this stuff, FAKE UTERUS

I was so embarrassed to ask. I was scared, too.

And yet, I got an answer that I hadn't been able to find on my own.

Yes, it can happen.

Nice!

Well, first off, A, thank God I'm not hurt or dying, that's a relief. B, no one laughed. C, this shit isn't common knowledge.

Even if you think it's obvious, it's not.

Things can be related in the weirdest ways, and sound totally strange at first, and they turn out to be totally normal experiences.

What is dissociation?

Doctors say it's super complicated to understand, don't worry, you're not alone.

What's the difference between normal and pathological dissociation?

Oh, boy, let's sit down for this one.

What's the difference between trauma and abuse?

Fantastic question, first, are you doing okay? Second, it's complicated.

Could these two symptoms be related?

FUCKING PROBABLY, let's talk about it.

All these overgeneralized, sweeping statements, made under the guise of "correcting misinformation," and really only trying to prove people wrong instead of educate, hurt other people with that thing.

"Your doctor is ALWAYS right," fuck you, no they're not. "They know you better than you know yourself." Ohhh, fuck no, that's dangerous. "You MUST fit the criteria 😤."

The criteria:

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO HELP?

Because you're failing spectacularly at doing any kind of good for the community you want to "help".

You lost the point so hard that your posts are now actively dangerous to people with CDDs that don't think clinically enough for you. You lost the point when you use papers that directly contradict each other over basic facts, and don't even realize it in your rush to be "right".

"Trust your doctor 100%," about any other disorder, would get you instantly canceled. Are you overweight? A POC? A woman? Trans? A combination? Well, you're fucked.

You, yourself, have probably never thought that.

So why did you say it?

Who cares what they're calling themselves, who cares whether the term is clinical, are they getting the help and support they need? Can we help clarify anything for them?

Using a people focused approach in therapy is totally fine, THIS HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE. It may be a doctor-focused issue, but it's not a treatment issue. In other words, for every doctor that prefers a parts focused approach, there's one that'll use a people focused approach just fine, if that's what you want to do. Good job getting into therapy, congrats! That's what's important.

"Fictives," are so well documented that complaining about them is laughable.

Alters can take years to come forward after events, and may latch onto a character years after their actual formation. Who cares if the person can pinpoint the cause, or if they don't even care enough to try, are they getting the help and support they need???

Instead of saying, "that's impossible," let's start asking, "how can I help?"

Instead of saying, "your opinion is wrong," let's address actual misinformation. Talk to pro/endos about the trauma basis of DID. That matters a fuck ton more than whatever you're arguing about.

Instead of laughing at people who don't know things, learn to socialize and present corrections in a pleasant conversation. God forbid you're seen "being nice," to the other side.

As a very good friend said, better than I ever could, this whole "prioritizing research always over listening to others' lived experiences" is just the plural version of "academic theory on queer experiences is most important." You need both.

Many things can be true, all at the same time. Opinions are onions, they all make me cry or whatever the saying is. Single research papers should never be used generally. If you put all the papers together, anything is possible. This paper doesn't specifically talk about that thing so it's not possible.

Another paper, just a click away:

Are people happy, healthy, and feeling supported in their life?

Fantastic, that's what matters.

This blog is open to basic questions that people are scared to ask. I would also highly recommend sending @cdd-safe-haven those kinds of questions. It's completely unrelated to syscourse, hopefully the information will help more people.

[brotrustmeicanwrite]

I fucking hate AI but heavens would it be useful if it wasn't such an unethical shit show

First, just to be clear, I'm talking about actually using AI as a tool to support your writing process, not to generate soulless texts made from stolen data instead of writing yourself.

Back when ChatGPT first became available it was still pretty useless so I had a lot of time to learn about how it's made, how it works and the ethics of it before ever touching the technology. I decided pretty quickly to never use it to generate text (or images) for actual writing and art but I still wanted to experiment with what else it could do (because I'm a nosy bitch that needs to know and poke everything).

And HEAVENS was it a blessing for writing with adhd

The last time I wrote more than 200 words in a day (outside of school work obviously) was 7th grade. I wrote over 8k just in notes the day Google's "Gemini" (formerly "Bard") became available to the public.

In order to not jeopardize my existing work I decided to make a completely new story with Bard's help that wasn't linked in any way to anything I had made before. So I started with a prompt along the lines of "I need help writing a story". At first, it immediately started generating a completely random story about a green tiger but after some trial and error, I got it to instead start asking questions.

What do you want the theme of your story to be?

What genre do you want to write in?

What time period do you want your story to take place in?

Is there magic?

Are there other sentient creatures besides humans?

And so on and so forth. Until the questions became extremely specific after covering all the bases. I could tell that all I was doing was essentially talking to an amalgamation of every "how to write" blog and website you've ever seen and telling it which part I wanted to work on next but it still felt great because the AI didn't actually contribute anything besides a few suggestions of common tropes and themes here and some synonyms and related words there; I was doing all the work.

And that's the point.

Nothing in that exchange was something I couldn't easily do on my own. But what happened was that I had turned what is usually a chaotic mess of a railway network of thoughts into a clear and most importantly recorded conversation. I can sit down and answer all those questions on my own but what usually happens when I do, is that every thought I have branches out into 4-7 new ones which I then attempt to record all at once (which obviously doesn't work, yay adhd) only to end up lost in thought with maybe 20 lines of notes in total after 6 hours at the table. Alternatively, either because I get bored or just because, I get distracted by something or my own thoughts about a different unrelated topic and end up with even less.

Working within the boundaries of a conversation forces you to focus on one specific question at a time and answer it to progress. And the engagement from the back and forth is just enough entertainment to not get bored. The six hours I mentioned before is the time I spent chatting with what is essentially a glorified chatbot that day, way less time than what I spent on any other project, and yet I have more notes and a clearer image of the story than I do about any of my real work. I have a recorded train of thought.

In theory, this would also work with a real human in a real conversation but realistically only very few people have someone who would be willing to do that; I certainly don't have a someone like that. Not to mention that someone doesn't always have time. Besides that, a real human conversation involves two minds with their own ideas, both of which are trying to contribute their own thoughts and opinions equally. The type of AI chat that I experimented with, on the other hand, is essentially just the conversation you have with yourself when answering those questions, only with part of it outsourced to a computer and no one else butting into your train of thought.

On that note, I also tried to get it to critique my writing but besides fixing grammatical errors all that thing did was sing praises as if I was God. That's where you'll 100000% need humans.

tl;dr writing with AI as an assistant has basically the same effect as body doubling but it’s an unethical shit show so I’m not doing it again. Also I forgot to mention I did repeat the experiment for accuracy with different amount of spoons and it makes me extra bitter that is was very consistent

[happypotato48]

Century of Love EP 1 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

Well well well what we do have here, a BL about a homopobic century old granddwink and his long quest to find the reincarnation of the woman he lost. but too bad for him cause the heaven is a genre savvy BL writer and they know what's up. they says "you know what this bitch just ate our magic rock, let's fuck with him for a little bit and make this shit gay. it's better that way baby!"

History time, welp didn't want to start with this but here. tldr during this period it's very much sucked to be non central thai person and it's also extra sucked to be a chinese or indian person during this time. i never hear first hand account from my grandparents because they both passed before i was born, but the long lasting effect of it still very much present in my mom.

He's so beautiful and without the bad wig too, i'm so happy.

I will support heterosexuality this one time and one time only cause i liked the way this lady girl bossed her way through those pigs.

Magic gay rock! and thank you show for letting Daou take his shirt off this early.

Ok i'm not that emotional invested cause we just got here but damn, Daou is very good in this scene.

Severus motherfucking snape! ya'll can call me backy with the good ears cause just from this one line i instantly recognized him as a prolific voice actor whose dubbed a lot of C-dramas/movies and many hollywood movies without googling him. and yeah the first role of his that came up for me was snape lol

I love this family already.

He's cute and a ซินแส too. this is a kind of boy that i can take to show off to my chinese side of the family and they would be all over him.

You leave my future husband alone old man! he just a cute little candid man.

this dorky family is everything 😭

literal red herring.

Perfection 🤞

Ok show stop it this is too cute. god i love red thread of fate in my romance!

Awwww he so cute! nobody can resit this smile. mark my word this smile will be the dead of that old man.

Ok plz don't have another kinky sex in the supermarket cause that is nasty and i'm pretty sure a health code violation.

👀 i'm looking respectfully

Someone better BE!

ok that was a cute first ep. grumpy old man in denial vs the cutest sunshine that ever live, i'm seated. this show is more camp than initially what i thought it was going to be but hey it seems fun so i'm not complaining.

[thelittlebastard]

came across two Belgian articles about squout, here are some google-translated highlights : )

article one

The preparations and recordings took place in the summer period, not so long after his serious crash in Dwars door Vlaanderen at the end of March. "The recording day was a few months later, so it still seemed far away at that time. But we did have to move the date to fit the suit and practice. Putting on that suit would certainly not have been possible in the first month after that crash... On the day of the recording, it didn't hurt anymore. But during the dance training, which was a month earlier, I still had trouble with it. Although it certainly didn't hinder me."

Van Aert was able to keep his participation well hidden from those around him, even at his team Visma-Lease a bike no one knew about it. Only his wife Sarah knew.

article two

"Standing on stage and singing and dancing and everything in that direction: that's way outside my comfort zone. TV is not my world either: during such recordings everything has to be right and you have to have a lot of patience. Very cool to experience it once, but not something I would necessarily want to do every day"

What did you think of the suits? "My first thought was: what the fuck [in English]. They told me I was going to be a squirrel so I expected a big stuffed animal. Turned out I was some kind of cool Superman squirrel in a latex suit! In the end I could only be happy with that, also because I could use my arms and legs. The most difficult thing was the tail. It felt like a heavy backpack that constantly wobbled from left to right and threw me completely off balance."

"Everyone would have recognized me, I think. My videos were pretty clear, right? When people asked me about it – all the time – I usually reacted a bit annoyed: ‘Are you starting now too?!’ or ‘Come on, I would never do that!’ They usually kept quiet (laughs)."

"I might have liked it better if it had been a complete surprise, but it doesn’t really matter: I’ve had so many cool moments this week, not least by fooling so many people, that I look back on it positively anyway."

[t0ast-ghost]

SEASON 2 TIME! Episode 1 and it’s… AMOK TIME!?! Oh boy:

- “Oh, Captain.” Yeah McCoy?

- McCoy is worried about Spock just like Chapel is worried about Spock

- The fucking nameplates, whatever they’re called that are stuck to the walls are hilarious

- He was having his period

- THEY ADDED DEFOREST KELLY TO THE OPENING CREDITS

- Does Spock have a knife behind his back??! Oh wait does Spock have an arcade machine in his room?

- OH MY GOD CHEKOV

- How can I even explain? It’s like he’s t posing or smt (mom I threw up kinda stance)

- The little fight between McCoy and Spock in the med bay, McCoy wants to know what’s wrong and Spock is not doing well

- CONVERSATION BETWEEN SULU AND CHEKOV HOLY COW

- “He’ll die. He’ll die, Jim.” Knowing that Spock needs to fuck during this episode makes it so much better, this really is how they decided to start the new season

- “The birds and the bees are not Vulcans, captain.”

- Spock pours his heart out to Kirk “I haven’t heard a word you’ve said.” WHAT KIRK? What?

- Chapel listening to Kirk and McCoy like “shut the fuck up and just kiss already.” She’s happy that Kirk decided to go to Vulcan tho

- SHE ENTERED SPOCKS ROOM WITHOUT HIM KNOWING???

- Their conversation is… strange

- “You’ve been most patient with my kinds of madness.”

- He can be accompanied by his closest friends. And he chooses Kirk and McCoy. My heart.

- “She is T’Pring, my wife.” Goddamn he’s been cheating on his wife with two men in space

- Imagine all the Vulcan’s could just hear Kirk and McCoy’s commentary

- What the fuck is happening.. they explained that she chose to make him fight… but what the fuck is happening

- “You think Spock can take him?” “I doubt it. Not in his present condition.” Brutal McCoy. Brutal.

- Those bells are annoying as shit

- When Spock talks to T’Pau he looks so small, could be the high angle and way he’s curled in on himself

- This montage is crazy.. and annoying. I really hate those bells

- “Jim don’t go and fight Spock.” “I’m gonna go and fight Spock.. out of friendship.”

- Babygirl your murderous rage filled look has captivated me

- BOOB WINDOW MOMENT! It’s just as beautiful as I thought it would be

- McCoy’s “SPOCK NO!” Is like. He doesn’t want his idiot boyfriends dead

- I cannot express emotion

- “He’s dead.” HES DEAD BUT ITS JIM MOMENT

- T’Pring is such a girlboss but holy crap that’s fucking ruthless

- OMG HES HAPPY OH MY GOD HEA SMILUNF OH MY I could watch this clip all day

- McCoy is so smart and we thank him everyday

- “When I found I killed my boyfriend, I lost any interest in my wife”

- To end it off we must have a bit of flirting. “In a pig’s eye.” Which according to google means ‘Expressing scornful disbelief at a statement’

Episode written by Theodore Sturgeon

Of fucking course it was him. See ya on the flip flop.

Masterpost

[livesincerely]

i was just reading back through your writer’s desks and remembered how much i loved the slideshow au! no pressure but do you have anymore thoughts on it? it’s just one of my faves <3

The outline/notes for that one are still in the very early stages but I’m happy to share what I’ve got so far!

00000

He’s waiting for Tony to come back from the bathroom, the next episode of Crime Scene Kitchen queued up on the tv, when his phone vibrates with a text from Jack.

this prod meeting is running long, probs won’t be back until late. Go ahead and watch w/o me

Everything ok?

ya but part of the set got busted during a scene change so I gotta figure when/how to fix it before tomorrow night

I’ll put your takeout in the fridge and save you some egg rolls

and that’s why you’re my favorite

Say hi to Medda for me

of course

“Jack’s not going to be home until late,” Davey announces as Tony wanders back into the living room. “He says we should start without him.”

….

“Dave,” Tony says, sighing deeply. “Why am I looking at a PowerPoint titled, “Jack Kelly + David Jacobs: A Comprehensive Argument for Maintaining Equilibrium.”

Davey pins him with a scathing look. “It’s a Google Slides presentation, you godless heathen.”

“What the fuck?” Tony asks, ignoring him, clicking rapidly through the screens. “When did you even make this?”

Davey shifts in his seat. “I mean, it’s more of a living document, so it’s never really finished—“

“Davey.”

“A couple years ago, I guess,” Davey says. “Give or take.”

Tony squints at the computer screen. “It’s saved on your old university account.”

“Okay, or maybe it was three months into junior year!” Davey admits, crossing his arms over his chest. “It was a stressful semester and I was super nervous about failing my animal science midterm and Jack was out on a date with that PoliSci major that lived upstairs and— And the when isn’t the point! The point is, according to my research, telling Jack isn’t worth the risk of ruining our friendship.”

“What are these graphs even measuring?” Tony asks, staring at one of the slides. “‘Overall Happiness, Jacobs v Others’?”

….

“Well, your math is absolute shit, for one thing,” Tony says, frowning at a graph entitled ‘Art Pieces per Subject’. Davey’s name is sitting in dead last. “There’s no way these numbers are right. Jack draws you literally all of the time.”

Davey frowns right back at him. “No, he doesn’t.”

“Uh, yeah he fucking does,” Tony disagrees. “You’re, like, one of his favorite things to make art of, period. He spends about half his time bitching about how copic doesn’t make a marker that matches your eyes—at this point I’m pretty sure he’s got more drawings of you than actual pictures.”

“I think I would’ve noticed if Jack suddenly started drawing me,” Davey scoffs, shaking his head. “It’s not like he’s subtle when something’s caught his eye. Plus, he lets me flip through his sketchbooks whenever he finishes filling one and I’m almost never in them.”

“Which one?” Tony asks.

Davey blinks. “Which one, what?”

“Which one,” Tony repeats, oddly intent. “Which sketchbook does he show you?”

“What do you mean, which one?” Davey asks, irritated. “The only one! The one he always— it’s not like it’s some big secret!”

Tony stares. Then Tony sighs.

Very quietly, Davey hears him mutter, “…pair of fucking morons.”

…..

“Okay, but, riddle me this,” Tony says. “Why don’t you just tell him? What’s the worst that could happen?”

“What’s the worst that could— I literally just went over all the reasons why that’s a horrible idea!” Davey exclaims. “It would ruin everything!”

“I really don’t think it would, Dave,” Tony says. “You and Jack… will ya at least think about it?”

“I’ve done nothing but think about it,” Davey says, and to his horror, he can feel his eyes starting to sting. “I can’t.”

“Want me to do it?” Tony offers, and he says it like a joke but Davey knows him too well to think that he’s anything but absolutely serious.

He jolts forward, arms outstretched as if to preemptively cram the words back down his throat. “Don’t you fucking dare, Tones, I am so fucking serious—“

“Okay, okay!” Tony says, holding up his hands in surrender. “I won’t snitch on your neurotic ass, even if it’d make you happier in the long run. My word as my bond or whatever.”

Davey huffs out a laugh, and it’s only a little teary. “Fuck you, my neurotic ass is the reason you made it to graduation, shithead.”

…..

“Hey, can I borrow your laptop?” Jack asks. “Mine’s dead and I left my charger at the theater.”

“Yeah, go ahead,” Davey absently responds.

…..

“Davey,” Jack says, voice straining. “What the hell is this?”

“What is what?” Davey asks.

“This.” He turns the laptop around and— oh shit. It’s The Argument.

He feels his blood run cold. “Oh,” he says. “That.”

“Dave,” Jack says, his mouth set in a hard, thin line. “Did you make a fucking PowerPoint about me? About us?”

Davey swallows. “…It’s actually a Google Slides presentation,” he says weakly.

…..

“You’re telling me this is nothing?” Jack demands, incredulous. He tilts the screen back to show Davey the current slide, which is just an enlarged photo of Jack’s handsome, smiling face, surrounded by a halo of red arrows and the caption, ‘JUST LOOK AT HIM,’ written in boldfaced text. “Nothing? Nothing at all?”

“Maybe we can stop looking at it now,” Davey says, loudly. He leans over the back of the couch, making another panicked grab for his laptop, but Jack dodges out of the way, clicking to the next slide.

[pricegouge]

That drabble was GREAT I'm imagining bear!bunny huffily leaving a review later on Yelp like "0/5 got a fish thrown at me didn't even let me stay to watch the game before they called animal control and my team lost. But the chicken is really good" and Price reading it and having to sit down because. The fucking bear knows how to type?

Oh my god keyboard karen bunny… 

Takes place directly after this. I used google reviews instead of yelp just cause I have more experience with it 

"Soap, what the hell is this?"

The man looks over lazily from where he's pithing lemon, but straightens up when he sees John's genuinely pissed off face. "What's what, sir?"

John slides his open phone to the man across the bar, recent zero star review on full display. "Very funny but you're fucking with my average. Take it down."

Soap frowns down at the phone, reading over the angry lines of text with a scowl that only deepens with every word. "Ah dinnae write this!"

"Then who did?" 

"Fockin' -," he glances back at the phone, scrolls up until he sees the reviewer's name, "Mama-bear-four-oh-six." John just glares at him, unimpressed. Soap huffs, waves the phone back at his boss. "Cap, ah clearly dinnae write this. None of this is in Scots."

"Shite," John deflates. He takes his phone back with a pat to the other man's shoulder. "You're right, sorry mate. But if you didn't, who did?"

"Si?" Soap sounds just as unconvinced about it as John is. "I dinnae ken. Did ye check the account?"

Of course he did. MamaBear406 was a brand new account as far as he could tell; as close to anonymous as Google allowed. One of the main reasons he'd assumed someone was taking the piss. Well, that and because aside from the three of them, the only creature present for the fish incident had been the bear itself. Herself?

"Must've been Simon," John hedges, just in time for the man in question to come easing through the saloon doors, quiet as a mouse save for the way he read allowed from his phone.

"'Zero out of five stars. A real shame about the service. With its beautiful open store front and kitchen I swear I could smell a mile away, I thought I'd found the perfect new watering 'ole. Boy was I wrong. They threw a fish at me! Didn't even let me stay until the end of the second period before calling authorities on me. So rude. Chicken was good.'" Simon eyes them from under his heavy brow. "Cap, you know what this means?"

"My ratings are now arse?"

"Our Johnny's learned to spell."

"Ye fockin' -!"

"Alright," John cut Soap off sternly. "Was it you, Si?"

"Please." The big man lumbers closer, tabling his phone as he leans across the bar to join their huddle. "If I wanted to ruin your reputation, I'd just stop coming to work."

John sighs, bewildered about their predicament, but believing his mate all the same. Soap, then. Meddling bastard. He hangs his head, catching a glimpse of Simon's phone in the process. "Oh look, we've got a defender." 

Soap leans past Simon's shoulder to read the comment below the review asking MamaBear what she did to deserve such treatment. "Ah know him. Regular. Ah'll 'spill' his first round next time he comes in."

"Good lad," John agrees. At a loss, he pulls his own phone back to himself and taps MamaBear's icon again, hoping to glean something new -.

And frowns in shock when he sees a new comment posted, thirty seconds ago.

"'Was just trying to watch the game!'" he recites.

The other men frown in confusion at him and John simply reaches over, refreshing Simon's page to display MamaBear's responding comment under the other one. Even Simon looks confused, eyes darting to Soap suspiciously. 

"How'd you do that?" he demands, and Soap starts whinging about never being believed or something, but John's not listening. Too busy coming to terms with the fact that he may be the kind of man who's willing to believe a bloody bear wrote a Google review.

next>>

[birdship]

This project is unfinished and will remain that way. There are bugs. Not all endings are implemented. The ending tracker doesn't work. Images are broken. Nothing will be fixed. There's still quite a bit of content, though, so I am releasing what's here as is.

Tilted Sands is a project I started back when AI Dungeon first came out--the very early version you had to run in a Google colabs notebook. Sometime in late 2018, I think? I was a contributor at Botnik Studios at the time and I was delighted by AI Dungeon, but I knew it would never be a truly satisfying choose your own adventure generator on its own. I would argue that the modern AI Dungeon 2 and NovelAI don't fully function as such even now. That's not how AI works. It has to be guided heavily, the product has to be sculpted by human hands.

Anyway, it inspired me to use Transformer--a GPT2 predictive text writing tool--to craft a more coherent and polished but still silly and definitely AI-flavored CYOA experience. It was an ambitious project, but I was experienced with writing what I like to call "cyborg" pieces--meaning the finished product is, in a way, made by both an AI/algorithm/other bot AND a human writer. Something strange and wonderful that could not have been made by the bot alone, nor by the human writer alone. Algorithms can surprise us and trigger our creative human minds to move in directions we never would've thought to go in otherwise. To me, that's what actual AI art is: a human engaging in a creative activity like writing in a way that also includes utilizing an algorithm of some sort. The results are always fascinating, strangely insightful, and sometimes beautiful.

I worked on Tilted Sands off-and-on for a couple years, and then the entire AI landscape changed practically overnight with DALL-E and ChatGPT. And I soon realized that I cannot continue working on this project. Mainstream, corporate AI is disgustingly unethical and I don't want the predictive text writing I used to enjoy so much to be associated with "AI art". It's not. Before DALL-E and ChatGPT, there were artists and writers who made art by utilizing algorithms, neural networks, etc. Some things were perhaps in an ethical or legal grey area, but people actually did care about that. I remember discussing "would it be ethical to scrape [x]?" with other writers, and sharing databases of things like commercial advertising scripts and public domain content. I liked using mismatched databases to write things, like a corpus of tech product reviews that I used to write a song. The line between transformative art and fair use vs theft was constantly on all of our minds, because we were artists ourselves.

All of the artists and writers I knew in those days who made "cyborg art" have stopped by now. Including me.

But I poured a lot of love and thought and energy into this silly little project, and the thought of leaving it to rot on my hard drive hurt too much. It's not done, but there's a lot there--over 14,000 words, multiple endings and game over scenarios. I had so much fun with it and I wanted to complete it, but I can't. I don't want it to be associated in any way with the current "AI art" scene. It's not.

Please consider this my love letter to what technology-augmented art used to be, and what AI art could have been.

I know I'm not the only one mourning this brief but intense period from about 2014-2019 in which human creativity and developing AI technology combined organically to create an array of beautiful, stupid, silly, terrible, wonderful works of art. If you're also feeling sad and nostalgic about it, I hope you find this silly game enjoyable even in its unfinished state.

In conclusion:

Fuck capitalism, fuck what is currently called AI art, fuck ChatGPT, fuck every company taking advantage of artists and writers and other creative types by using AI.

[for-a-longlongtime]

On Dieter, Goya's Black Paintings, and Pedro on Talk Art 

Alright y'all, it's Saturday evening, I have nothing better to do (I actually do but I don't feel like it), so welcome to my mini TED Talk about 'how to pay too much fucking attention to the Pedro cinematic universe'. None of this is new, and maybe everybody already knew about this, but I didn't... so here's a nerdy tangent courtesy of googling/wikipedia-ing.

I was reading a Dieter!fic (this one right here by @chaoticgeminate - go read her writing!) earlier today, which refers to the 'Saturn Devouring His Son' painting - that giant mural Dieter is working on in The Bubble:

(his brush isn't even touching the wall tho, ha)

The original 'Saturn' by Goya

The fic mentioned its part of 'The Black Paintings', so I got curious and started googling. I'm no art major or expert, so please allow me to just paraphraze the Wikipedia page. 'Saturn' is part of a group of 14 Goya paintings that are called Pinturas Negras/The Black Paintings. They "portray intense, haunting themes, reflective of both his fear of insanity and his bleak outlook on humanity" --this was late in Goya's life, and was connected to several illnesses he had experienced (and the fear of relapsing) and political turmoil in Spain at the time (post-Napolean war, changing Spanish government, etc.

Trivia fact 1: Goya actually made these paintings right on the walls of the Quinta del Sordo (so-called Deaf Man's villa) where he was staying -- so I love that Apatow had Dieter also paint right on the walls.

Trivia fact 2: while Goya was living in this villa, he actually became gravely ill (again) - not by a pandemic obviously, but it's hard to not link that loosely to the COVID period. He had never intended for these 'Black Paintings' to become public; "these paintings are as close to being hermetically private as any that have ever been produced in the history of Western art" (the murals were eventually transfered to canvas by other folks once he had moved out of the villa). Switching back to The Bubble -- I love how the tragic influence of Goya's illness(es) and art/things 'made at home away from the world, not intended for an audience' (so obviously, in a bubble) has that connection to the COVID experience and how many folks were suddenly homebound, along with the burden of illness in many ways (lord knows this all did a serious number on our mental health). In the movie, Dieter and the others do not want to go into isolation again, but that solitude is what eventually led him to painting on the walls in his room. This is not a 'grand discovery' of any kind, but I got a kick out of the parellels once I read up on it - and honestly makes me appreciate the movie a bit more, haha.

Not happy about another quarantine period.

Alright, more hyperfocusing after the cut:

Some googling led me to a post from last year by @nicolethered (gifs in this post are hers), and she included screencaps of the walls of Dieter's room (during that drug scene), which I hadn't even noticed while watching the movie. Upon taking a closer look, I noticed they're outtakes from other pieces of Goya's Black Paintings! I thought that was really cool, they sure worked on the details with that set (there's one more that's shown in a different shot but I can't exactly figure out which outtake that is):

First one is a mirror image from Two Old Men Eating Soup and the second one is basically Satan aka 'The Great He-Goat' from the Witches' Sabbath painting. Which IMO makes for fucking hilarious perfection a.k.a. trivia fact 3 -- because we all know about Dieter and his little emotional support goat, LOL. Excellent connection.

*insert sound bit from Hot Ones interview* : "Just let me love you!"

Anywaaay there's more. The Bubble was shot during Feb 22, 2021 to April 16, 2021, right? Pedro has spoken about how his input in shaping Dieter was mostly regarding his outfits (the Crocs, the robe, etc). But then I suddenly remember the Talk Art interview he had done in 2018, and how he namechecks 'The Dog' by Goya - and lo, guess which painting is actually part of the 14 Black Paintings? Yeap - the dog! So I checked the podcast and he was asked, 'if you could be any painting, what painting would you be?' by Russell. Here is the painting, and below it is what he said on Talk Art:

'The Drowning Dog' by Goya

"I think… it's a Goya. Yeah, old school. I think it's called 'Dog Buried in Sand' or something like that. It's so… I remember feeling it was such a visual representation of helplessness, in such a… come on, let's all admit that helplessness is a very recurring feeling for many of us, you know what I mean? When it comes to so many things. I guess… I was in Spain, in Madrid, and I was 20. And I went to the Goya museum. What's interesting about it is that the head of the dog is really quite small and sort of adorable, it looks like a stray mutt, and the painting - if I can remember it correctly - is very rectangular. There's so much above him, like the world just seems so big. It's quite incredible, isn't it? I know it's really sad, and sort of dark, and maybe I really like enjoy perceiving myself like..." (He gets interrupted by Russell, and then continues;) "Yeah, he's certainly not dying, it's sort of - it's a moment", (then interrupts himself with;) "Maybe he's totally dying, there's no way that dog is getting out of that. That dog is SO fucked. Anyway, that's the painting that represents my life". (All three of them burst out into laughing.)

If you're still reading this - I am impressed with your dedication to my silly little post, haha. Anyway, I just thought it was so striking that there basically is a straight line from the painting he mentioned in Talk Art to what Dieter is painting in the Bubble. Makes me wonder if perhaps he - or even Russell/Robert - had any input in that part of Dieter's backstory.

Thank you for attending my TED Talk on artistic analysis of Dieter Bravo during COVID, we now resume your regularly scheduled program for Saturday night. 🤪

(Have I been smoking because a local dispensary actually had 'Mando' bud? I sure as fuck have and I blame that for this post.)

[teethburger]

This drawing is the best visual representation I can get

Please for the love of god someone help me name this feeling

Does anyone else ever get that feeling like your brain is floating above your body and you can’t focus on anything and you can’t feel invested in anything so you’re just sitting around doing nothing because nothing interests you. Like if I listen to music in this state it just sounds like sounds because none of the happy chemicals usually associated with it are working for some reason. I can actually feel the floating feeling in my brain coming on, and it usually happens during a long break. Please tell me if you know what this is because I started crying at my therapist because I couldn’t explain it right

[cookinguptales]

frank discussion of gynecological issues and frustrations with OBGYNs (especially re: chronic illness) under the cut, but I guess also potentially useful information for people who want to hear about it

so... some of you might remember when I was going to OGBYNs a little while ago. I have endometriosis and PMDD diagnoses, so going to OBGYNs isn't exactly unusual for me, but I ended up going to see more than I usually do.

this was largely because the hormonal therapy that I was taking for those disorders was starting to fail and I was bleeding a lot. like... for weeks at a time over a period of months. I had to deal with some... frustrating OBGYN advice in this time (such as the rage-inducing "well, women have to bleed") but I also discovered that like... I mean, I think I always knew that I had more vaginal pain than other people I know, but a lot of things hurt me so I just kind of... ignored it?

but they tried to put me on the nuva ring for a little while during this period and my body just... straight-up rejected it. it hurt like a bitch to put in, it kept coming out, I could feel it in there and it hurt, etc.

I ended up comparing notes with some other people I know and realized that my problems with insertion were probably more severe than I'd thought. like, it is not unusual for me to cry during pap smears and have cramping for days afterward. I cannot use tampons without massive pain. your body is not really supposed to physically expel something like a nuva ring several times a day. tmi I guess but I have not found penetration of any kind pleasant.

so I talked to... I want to say four or five different OBGYNs in this period, and none of them gave me a real reason for this. the prevailing attitude was mostly "oh yeah, that happens sometimes. lmao."

the best I could get was a diagnosis of "vaginismus" on my chart, and when I pressed for more information, they basically told me it was a psychological thing where your body is afraid of penetration so it clenches up and won't unclench. they literally grilled me on my history of sexual abuse to see if they could find the source of my dick phobia.

now... not to get too into it, but I do have a history of CSA -- but my pain problems predate it. I got my period relatively early and I've never been able to use tampons or anything like them. every time I've tried has ended in literal tears. again, cramping pain for days, even after the period itself has stopped.

so I get the dick phobia diagnosis from two different doctors, but one of them says she can do a transvaginal ultrasound if I'm really worried. we do this and it is uh. excruciating, honestly. thank god it was in California and they let me get high as a kite.

in the end, they can't find anything "physically" wrong with why I'm in pain and they send me on my way, dick phobia dx in hand.

today. today. YEARS later. I am googling tips on how to try a menstrual cup if you have vaginismus (prep for the trip abroad; I don't like Japanese pads) and I see someone saying "oh, I'm glad that treatment worked for you, my problems are because of ehlers-danlos syndrome."

you know, one of the chronic illnesses I have and one that I divulged to every OBGYN I saw.

what.

paging Dr. Google!!!

I come to find out that folks that have EDS, because of their connective tissue issues and extremely brittle skin, sometimes deal with extreme gynecological pain. it's partially pelvic floor issues, partially the fact that the skin in your vagina is breaking.

so all those times that I said "it feels like it's cutting me" or "it feels like knives" were probably because it was fucking cutting me. all those times I said I felt scraped raw for days was probably because abrasions take a long time to heal when you have EDS.

I cannot believe. I cannot believe. that I went into so many different OBGYNs who told me that my pain issues were because I had a psychological fear of dicks and when I told them I was a lesbian were like "oh well then problem solved" when actually my body was physically tearing. I had even seen blood sometimes and it had always been dismissed as spotting.

the anger I feel rn is indescribable, tbh. I never bought that my problems were all in my head (probably because doctors used that line on me so often when I was a kid and getting other chronic illnesses diagnosed) but the fact that gynecological health science is still so fucking awful that we shrug off pain that is the symptom of dangerous chronic illnesses as "well that happens sometimes" or "have you considered that maybe you're afraid of sex?"

I JUST

this reminds me of when I had to find out from a fucking tumblr post that vaginal secretions are made from blood rather than glands, so if you have bad blood pressure/flow it'll often cause itchiness/dryness/pain. bad blood flow like... idk... maybe POTS.

so again, it was actually one of my known chronic illnesses causing gynecological issues, not any of the other bullshit reasons doctors were giving me, like age or stress.

I hate that I'm fucking 33 years old and I still have to learn stuff like this from google searches. I still don't know how my shitty body works, and it's largely because of stuff like this. what the fuck. I'm so mad. why do doctors still treat vaginas like a fucking scary mystery?

I'm well aware that Dr. Google doesn't always know what the fuck it's talking about, but apparently neither do my doctors! which is why, yet again, I'm up all night reading medical journals in the vain attempt to figure out how to actually live my life!

ugh!!!