#and then i hurt her
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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I saw a peak of @gigizetz’s Warrior Penelope au and the first thing I thought of was angst. Not a dope design 😔
#I feel like Astyanax’s death would hurt Penelope more than it did to Odysseus#She’s a mother who had nurtured and birthed a baby herself#she know’s how important and memorable the impact of giving birth to a child#it’s like asking someone to kill her Telemachus#epic the musical#The Odyssey#epic: the troy saga#greek mythology#Penelope#Warrior Penelope#Switch au#?#I guess?#sketch#InSomniphic’s Art
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Wearing this right now…. I look so cute i almost forgot about the crushing sadness… almost…
when guys were a sweater over a shirt with just the collar of the shirt peeking out and the shirt and sweater is colour coordinated they look cute
#everytime i look in the mirror#i smile#and then i break down in tears#i miss her so much#i’m mad at myself#so much#i just wish i could let her know i was sorry#not so she could forgive me#i don’t deserve that#but just so…#i could know for sure if she was alright#i would die for her if i had to#i know it’s unhealthy#i know it’s obsessive#but i would#i love her#i just want her to be happy#and then i hurt her#*sighs*#somebody stone me
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I don't like this place. It's turning everyone edgy and sad.
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#crossover#utdr#crossover comic#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#art#susie deltarune#chara#this will ignite the “chara did nothing wrong” vs “chara is a murder hobo” debate I just know it#fact is they gave up everything for their plan to succeed and asriel blew it#HOWEVER they were also forced to watch asriel die and they could do nothing about it#so what does a dead child do for who knows how many years all alone with no one else to talk to?#they rethink everthying that went wrong#guilt is a weird thing that lingers and festers in your mind#no matter how much you're actually at fault#I mean come on... they were an abused kid#all they wanted was to not hurt anymore and return the love they were given no matter the cost#but now they are CONVINCED it was their plan that kickstarted this whole mess#and it's eating at them#you can see it because they actually used contractions for once#i love subtle stuff like that#also hey#susie's feeling remorse for her whole “chara offed asriel” comment#the two are more alike than she thought and now she feels bad#out of all people she should know what it's like to be falsely accused
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Abby and Into the pit Oswald have similar “friends”..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#abby schmidt#golden freddy#spring bonnie#fnaf oswald#pit bonnie#into the pit#ITS FUNNY and interesting to me#that Oswald and Abby had similar scenarios happen to em#I will say Abby definitely had the better end of the stick BAHAH#LIKE YEAH golden Freddy did try to trick her#but he didn’t actually hurt her#and she seem fine to do see the animatronics anyway despite the violence#WHILE OSWALD is stuck with pit Bonnie#a dude who literally tries to kill him ever moment he gets#but also is trying to be his dad#it’s complicated and Oswald is NOT having any of it#hey at least pit Bonnie is having a good time
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friendly reminder that you can still get covid in 2024, we're in the middle of a massive wave right now and covid is NOT "just a cold". take necessary precautions in crowded places, on buses, on train, or on planes. it's better enduring a few strange looks when wearing a mask than getting ill and/or (god forbid) lifelong complications from long covid!
oh also, if you've got symptoms–yes it's a pain to have to buy a test–but PLEASE test. we're still in the middle of a pandemic however much we all want to forget that fact and we can still do our bit to protect others!
#speaking from someone who's currently on her covid sickbed from the eras tour#it's not fun out here! i haven't slept for coughing i've been running a low grade fever for days and my hair follicles hurt!#covid isn't over#covid#covid 19#fi's covid content#i've also had long covid before and i really hope this doesn't bring it back and there's no way of knowing so all around#wouldn't recommend the experience
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your love returns in tragedy (ID in alt)
#farcille#falin touden#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#coming face to face with the consequences of acting out of love - marcille u will always be famous#dunmeshi is really a series that keeps on moving bc it's about so many different characters and centered on the journey#rather than like... introspectively on one singular individual so i dont think we see marcille dwell on it but we can see her fatigue#her shock and surprise in the recent ep “don't hurt her she's just confused” Gah. desperately trying to grasp everything thats going on and#not to lose hope. bc undoubtedly the remains she put together was falin's - that short moment of reprieve the party had was with falin#she was able to bring her back her magic did it!! but the violence the fatal swings was not falin at all.#just pondering about holding that guilt... it's such a huge responsibility to be in charge of life in the first place and yet it is#a burden she'll keep trudging with. defying the natural orders to keep the people she love alive... i Lauv her...#also shared sentiment with the rest of the fandom but God. Chimera Falin... she is Everything....#ruporas art
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Needlessly close reading and long commentary on chapter 57 and how the audience actually has an extremely limited view on what Marcille has been like over the course of her life.
I am once again thinking about how pre-dungeon Marcille is so quiet and stoic that she seems like a completely different person. How jarring chapter 57 is for the audience. Like you have Marcille, who has been just the most blindingly expressive person with resting baby face
And then the chapter drops a title page of Marcille hearing from Falin for the first time in four years and it's like.
Who is that. Genuinely. Would you even realize that's Marcille without the context clues?
And then the chapter just keeps coming in with the sucker punches.
We have SEEN Marcille meet strangers. It was never with this understated of a smile.
literally who the hell is this. the few times the audience gets to see some Signature Marcille Faces that they're used to is when she finally gets to see Falin again
when she's testing out her new spells
(and when Laios and Falin are fantasizing about her being their damsel in distress, funnily enough)
And then finally. Finally you get to a fully recognizable Marcille when she fucking DIES and comes back to life to geek out about necromancy.
We know she loves magic. We know she loves Falin. So it's not so surprising that she wouldn't be able to keep a mask up when thinking or talking about the things she loves. But why the mask in the first place? Where does it come from? It's tempting to think that, maybe, Falin's departure just hurt her so much that it turned her into a quiet person.
But that's only half true. If you go back, the first instance you see of this incredibly mild personality is actually introduced much earlier, in chapter 17.
What if she was always like that. What if her default after her father died was to hold people at arm's length, to never really emote past being polite and friendly. What if Falin was the first person who was able to bring her out of her shell, and when she left, Marcille just went back to how she was.
And when comparing her detached demeanour with someone else...
It's not exact, but wouldn't you say there's a resemblance? Wouldn't you think she might be trying her best to imitate what she saw of her own mother working as an accomplished mage?
It would certainly explain why she's hiding behind her portrait in her nightmare, at least.
We aren't told that Marcille has been distancing herself from everyone around her using a mature and dignified personality she modelled off her mother. But we sure as hell are shown it, I think.
#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#this got so fucking long#it was originally just supposed to be 'haha marcille's old coworkers probably know her as the super serious one'#and then i started connecting dots and it was all over for me#anyway babygirl went right back to depressionville after falin left and it's like. wow. falin doesn't even know how long it's been#that's gotta hurt.#dunmeshi panel meta#marcilleposting#junoposting
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Scary Sunset.
I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.
#mlp#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#twiset#the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art#deep down sunset hates thea. she was named “twilight” by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement#but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred.#hence the “don't make me do this” language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way#when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too#fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory#and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new.#she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her#anyways toxic yuri yayyy#my art#the grand galloping 20s#character design#i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days#i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and “oh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey me” while trying to intimidate#is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey
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brighter days ahead
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk art#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk leaks#nobara kugisaki#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 268#im sobbing about them its 1am and my hand hurts#but ive got more in me i havent been this happy n hopeful in so LONG#HES BACK#THEYRE ALL BACK#we might b okay guys it might all b ok .... :'>>>>>#im ignoring the minor salt abt all of yuuji's scars being Gone#like im happy he has both eyes n all that#but what can i say id gotten a bit attached to the new look :<<<#n my yuuji injury list is out th window hgdfghjkgd everything ive drawn is now inACCURATE CRIES#i predicted megumi having a scar on th Other side....yuuji now has his depth perception back........sighs#shoko is too good at her job gdi#all of this is /lh btw the loss of scars is small price to pay !!!!!megumi is BACK and SMILING and they all r gna b ok i believe :')#home stretch we r in endgame they can make it this is OUR jujutsu kaisen first year believers
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ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS S1 EP7 ↔ S2 EP6 (2021-2024)
#THE WAY THEY BOTH DROP EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE THEYRE HURT VI GOING BACK TO HELP CAIT EVEN THO SHE WAS GONNA GO AFTER JINX#CAIT DROPPING EVERYTHING AND IGNORING JINX RUNNING PAST HER EVEN SHE WANTS TO GET HER BECAUSE VI GOT HURT IM UNWELL IM UNWELLLLLLLLL#ahem anyways the brainrot is so bad but im also kinda sick so i probably wont be able to make stuff much :C#caitvi#wlwedit#arcane parallels#arcane#arcaneedit#piltover's finest#caitlyn kiramman#vi#vi arcane#arcane vi#arcane league of legends#league of legends arcane#league of legends#s1 ep7#s2 ep6#caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#flashing#type: gif#media: arcane#ok going back to rambling#i hope yall notice i colored it blue and red heehee#ANYWAYS IM SOOOOOOO DOWN BAD FOR THESE TWO I SWEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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Angela Orosco Silent Hill 2
#in anticipation of the incoming remake#i tried my best to imitate the SH font but#silent hill#silent hill 2#angela#angela orosco#theme of laura (reprise)#i've said it before but in spite of its occasionally clunky diction i think silent hill 2 is an unusually emotionally intelligent game#for any year and still today but especially so for where gaming storytelling was in 2001#and for as many pitfalls a story like hers could've dipped into i think it particularly shines through with how they treated angela#not just choosing to depict victimhood as something that can be ugly and fractious and open quote “difficult” but then this#actively rebuffing james for trying to be a white knight and dressing him down for it too#“i know you mean well and want to help but this isn't a simple problem"#“and it's really hurtful and a bit insulting that you act like you can”#the switching to a first person view turning it into an address to the player as well#maybe even old videogame tropes too#“this isn't some princess in a castle kind of situation dude this is more serious than that”#it felt like a very deliberate statement about the depth and severity of a trauma like this#and in doing so showing it so much respect#there is no quick easy solution to this and you won't get one#then angela just leaves#and you never see her again#i really don't think it was to imply that it consumed her i think it was to underline what was just said#this isn't your problem to fix#this is where your part in this story ends#there's some strength in that
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Usually at night I bring Bug in the house and she gets her bedtime snack and then she jumps up to the top of one of our shelving units and settles there until actual bedtime. I get her down by walking out of sight or putting treats on her lower perch and she comes right down again, but tonight she was not having it. I left, I called, I put treats down, I attempted to climb up to get her by hand, I turned the lights off and then on to remind her it's night time. Nothing.
But she HAS to come down because it's not safe to leave her up there overnight. She gets freaked out in the dark alone, and it's in a room where she could potentially get up before me and get into things that could hurt her. So I couldn't just leave her even if I wanted to.
So I looked at Sark and told him to protect his computer monitor, because I was about to do something really stupid.
Then I went out of sight and replicated the crows' hawk alarm call, and boy. She got right down all the way to the floor immediately.
And then I hear Sark explaining to his discord voice chat what the hell THAT was (me crow-calling) because I hadn't realized he was on voice activity...
#Bug the peahen#my pets#peafowl#peahens#i would love to leave her there if she's being stubborn#but she FREAKS out if she's left out there alone in the dark#and i do not need her hurting herself#or getting up before me and getting into trouble
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A bitter reminder 🥀
#the legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#loz totk#totk#link#totk link#silent princess#sometimes i question why people read hurt/no comfort#and then here i am#making my fave cry#anyway it can't be easy wandering the lands with a constant reminder of Her#he doesn't know if she's okay#where she is#and all he has to feel her presence is these flowers#brb gonna cry in a corner#zelink if you squint#cocoabell doodles
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"Shhh Link... I'm right here. We're home. It's okay... "
♥ Hurt & Comfort time ♥
Post-Totk Link is still plagued with nightmares of the Light Dragon, Gloom Hands, Phantom Ganon...Puppet Zelda...loneliness.
He wakes up at night screaming, hyperventilating, sobbing. But Zelda is there and she comforts him with love, kindness and patience! Like Link did for her Post-Botw.
It's gonna take time...but Link is gonna be fine ♥ Zelda too.
They are all gonna be fine and live happily ever after!!!
And Hateno domestic fluff resumes.
Gotta love when Zelda comforts her knight
#my art#zelink#legend of zelda#zelda fanart#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#loz fanart#zelda#botw#princess zelda#botw link#hurt/comfort#totk link#link needs a hug#hateno house#hateno village#he loves her so much#the power of love#Link is so freakin PTSD#Zelda has trauma too but without invaliding it#I think Link is waaaaay more of a mess than her#Link took care of Zelda Post-BoTW#Zelda takes care of Link post TotK#I have a crush on both of them#sheik fangirl#its her tunic now
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What if Mike got the bad ending of the FNAF movie..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#mike schmidt#abby schmidt#ella fnaf#fnaf chica#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#okay time for yalls weekly angst#now and again I think about the scenario where Mike was too late to save Abby#maybe by minutes or seconds#just thinking how horrific that would of been#Mike losing both him siblings#and Abby staying with her friends forever..#ITS SO sad that’s why I haven’t drawn it sooner#I’ve had this idea since the movie dropped but didn’t have the strength to draw it out 😭#I’m not joking if anything happens to Abby or Mike I’ll lose my mind#I’m so invested in them I just want them to be happy#begging for the movies to never hurt them I can’t take it
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